#thats going on thats crucial to them and their relationships with these classes

[shivasdarknight]

ask 2 of 3

12. How has their job affected whatever headcanon version is of the MSQ if any? 

{original question collection post - curious about anything else?}

Quite a lot, actually! Especially with regards to public image and how playing specific roles led to certain things happening.

For reference, here's what the four are classed as:

Surkukteni: LNC>DRG - ROG (ARR, only actual class as ROG isn't used seriously); DRG - RDM (post ARR); DRG - DRK/MCH/AST/RDM (HVW, DRG is still main class while the others are still being learned/use sparingly); DRG > DRK - MCH/RDM/DRG/AST (post HVW-SHB, DRK becomes main class); DRK - MCH/RDM/DRG/AST/WAR (post SHB, WAR is from Ardbert); DRK + RPR - MCH/RDM/DRG/AST/WAR/MNK (ENW, other things are mixed in); DRK+RPR+MNK+DRG - MCH/RDM/AST/WAR (post ENW)

Gwendoline: CNJ>WHM* - THM>BLM/ACN>SMN/SCH (ARR, only plays role of WHM and rest are...curiosities); WHM* - BLM/SMN/SCH (post ARR, other jobs see use but still WHM main); WHM*+MCH - BLM/SMN/SCH (HVW, basically just carries a gun on her now); WHM*+MCH+BLM+SMN - SCH (STB-post ENW, she's now figured out how to multi class and has become obnoxious about it)

*SHE'S A NECROMANCER.

Teodore: BLM - WHM/SCH/SMN/SGE (ARR-HVW, needs...a lot of explanation); BLM+SCH - SMN/SGE/WHM (post HVW-SHB); BLM+SCH+WHM - SMN/SGE (post SBH-post ENW)

Seraphin: GLD > PLD* (ARR, has been a GLD for a while); PLD* - RDM (post ARR, very serious about this); PLD* - RDM/MNK (HVW-post HVW, actively working on the latter); PLD*+RDM - MNK (STB-post ENW, MNK is more of an outlet than anything)

*He was not trained by the Sultansworn and is more of a rogue PLD, more below

The in depth stuff is below :3c

So each WoL has gone through ig a redefining of what each of their roles mean to them and the party, especially as they grow as adventurers and are confronted with things that don't particularly mesh with their preconceptions - with the exception of Teodore, but there's a reason there. Surkukteni sees the most change, Seraphin Teodore honestly sees the least out of them despite Seraphin only maining two classes - but Seraphin's two classes matter a Lot to him.

Let's start with Surkukteni.

The entire reason why she started with LNC was because it was what her captain Kitase was familiar with, and thus she was taught it. So she does not go to Ywain with no experience and instead comes in with naginata experience. Between her bullheadedness and leftover training from a former Doman soldier (plus her siding with Foulques), it makes early ARR!Surkie very prone to resisting teaching from Eorzeans. She picks up ROG more as a side gig than anything (which many of the skills from that will become useful), but her being an obnoxious 20something is what gets her thrown into Coerthas. Ywain sent two potential candidates to Alberic when the request was put through: Lillith (the genuine one, because he wasn't aware this was a way to shove accountability onto a foreigner) and Surkukteni (who he wanted to see broken by the much more rigid training structure of the Dragoons). This leads to confusion as to who the Eye picked between the two, but unfortunately for Ywain, the better candidate was Surkukteni - entirely because. I mean she's fucking based on Vergil Sparda while Lillith is a goody-two-shoes butch who just wants to find his dad (because ofc he does, he was a Lone Wanderer with the highest possible good karma originally); of course Surkie's the better candidate. So this bleeds into the public image of the Warrior of Light as "the Azure Dragoon Cloaked in Ivory," in part because she shifted from the "obnoxious greaser/biker in all black leather" to the white uraeus overcoat she began to favor in part because it made it easier to jump people from above (same logic as to why so many birds and fish have darker backs but lighter bellies), but also because she's an edgy bitch it's just flipped for her (she was a Borlaaq who are devoted to Nhaama and have the dark color scheme of black/purple/blue+some reds, and was raised in Hingashi by a Doman; she views dark colors as the more virtuous stuff because of Nhaama, but because of that same belief + Doman and Hingan ones, white is more associated with death. She's conscious of how Nhaama's colors are used, so she's openly edgy with both but Eorzeans didn't get the white association so it peters off eventually). So DRG became Surkukteni's identity as a Warrior of Light, and it influenced initial stuff with Ishgard more favorably...at first. It was at first, it doesn't really last because this is while Surkukeni's still under the hyur glamour and only Alberic (and Estinien, actually) know that she's an au ra.

During post-ARR, Surkukteni (and Seraphin) meet X'rhun - and because he's met prior to Stormblood, his offer to train them is more based in what he sees immediately. Yeah, he knows that the two are Warriors of Light, but he's more interested in their character and how they respond immediately. While Surkukteni is at her most obnoxious and sardonic, he extends the offer to her and this matters a lot because it's him extending her a courtesy she's never gotten before. She's outwardly auri at this point, but she's more surprised he's willing to work with her given her extremely volatile and powerful aether. She was rejected from every guild on the grounds of her being a liability to herself and those around her, so having someone be willing to slow down and work with her based on her needs? Yeah, it catches her off guard and it allows her to begin to learn magic through red magic. This is her first teacher since Kitase to actually care to teach her from the get go (Alberic doesn't count, it took a while for the priority to shift) and she ends up very close to the guy just because he took the time to meet her where she was at and help her grow into her style of red magic (which leans more into her Dominants (ice/levin/water) than the standard stuff). This nets her an ally in the Crimson Duelists, and becomes important down the line.

DRK becomes the most important aspect of Surkie's classes even if it's not her main one in HVW. She gets through the intro stuff very quickly, but the important impact is the fact that she's taken to getting rid of Temple Knights since nothing seems to come of their horrific acts against Brumites. That opening scene gets amplified as yeah remember the skills from ROG? They apply here now plus the little caveat that DRK is yes Dark Knight, but she's more of a Demon Knight. Surkukteni has a voidsent pact at this point with a Hellhound by the name of Sétanta, and in combination with her hyur glamour from ARR, the rumors of a "heretic in indiscernible armor that's as likely to maim you by sword as they are to maim you by devil" begin to circulate like wildfire and this gets back to Surkie through Aymeric. She was doing odd jobs in a sense for Aymeric with Estinien while her allies were caught up and not allowed in (gee it's like one of them was caught in the act of working with necromancy or something), so she does a lot of random stuff around Central and Western Coerthas along with the Sea of Clouds. It's during one of the meetings where they're going over recent heretical activity and attacks that Aymeric lets slip that there's been an increase of Temple Knight deaths from within the city. Estinien, to no one's surprise, is pretty pissed about it and assumes that some heretic must have slipped past their grasp - but he's mostly worried about how this is going to reflect onto Aymeric. So he's not catching onto what Aymeric sees, and that's the fact that Surkie keeps coming into meetings with injuries that don't line up with how easy these jobs were - and how much it isn't like her to be getting into petty fights (this was the only thing he misread about the situation - that was her excuse because she's picked so many fucking fights). What led him to this assumption was: the fact that the blood that he saw on her was weirdly dark, much like the fouled blood rumored of Dark Knights; she was seen more around Sidurgu; and she's the only one he knows of with a glamour that can mask traits like horns and tails. So after the meeting talking about the new Dark Knight, he asks her to deliver a letter to someone working on the Dark Knight case, which is so fucking obviously bait. Surkie tries to not fall for the bait, but it gets at her anyways and she opens up the letter to find a list of names and an already signed envelope addressed to Aymeric, so clearly meant for return. Against her better judgement, she investigates the names and finds them all to be Temple Knights? And each has done something pretty reprehensible, but she's pretty sure this must be some trap. But again, against her better judgement she hunts them all down because she doesn't want to allow them the free reign they already have since someone down the line of command is openly covering for them and against Aymeric's orders - which is almost definitely motivated by who he is. She delivers a "letter from Camp Cloudtop", and is handed one that's "for Falcon's Nest". She's well and truly been found out, but this goes on back and forth through HVW until she gets a letter asking her to come to his home in civilian clothing so they may discuss a more sensitive job in person. AND SHE STILL DOES IT, she still shows up and this is when they're finally on an upfront basis of what these jobs are and who's who and it's also where he admits to the fact that he's trans and these next names were extremely sensitive because they were people who were onto him and they needed differing levels of dealing with. So while HVW is going on, Surkie's got this whole fucking side job where she's acting as Aymeric's hitman and getting that much closer with him - and part of what let him know what was up was because Sidurgu's his ex, so he was already familiar with this. So when she's finally working with her allies again and they start seeing the DRK stuff slip in, they're all extremely confused because Surkie just seemingly pulled this out of her ass.

HVW is where it really gets messy. As the other Azure Dragoon, Surkukteni initially gets a few more privileges in regards to Ishgard than the others - to where she's the only one of the group who's initially allowed into the city (along with Alphinaud and Tataru, since they were vulnerable). She's still there on the graces of House Fortemps, but most of this is carried on her title. HOWEVER. This immediately backfires with the heresy charges and the trial by combat, in which she is now landed with Significantly more charges than the others - including those who are still trapped in Camp Dragonhead - by virtue of the fact that they were expecting a Highlander and they got an a 6'1" auri bitch. Instead of seeing it for what it was, they saw it as her revealing her heretical nature to get access to one of the most vaunted positions within the military and to destroy it from the inside out. Because of fucking course. Obviously, she wins but this haunts her during the limbo of trying to get her party into the city (because even the others like W'khittri and her siblings are stuck). She's trusted by the likes of Aymeric, Lucia, Estinien, and Handeloup since they know better, but the general populace just saw her for what happened in the trial by combat - so all of that capital she could've used as the Azure Dragoon doesn't work as well because they see her as the assumed-heretic Azure Dragoon. So it's during this limbo that she goes and tries to find things to occupy herself with and it results in being dragged off the street by Jannequinard and being taught astromancy. She tries to argue that it won't work, but he won't hear it and she learns anyways - mostly from Leveva, but y'know. Yes, the tarot and star stuff becomes a way for her to connect with an aspect of her home culture, but mostly she connects with this due to the secret fate stuff going on. This - however - isn't really applicable to HVW's story; instead, it's the gd butterfly wing flap turned into a hurricane that bites them in the ass in post SHB. What does matter is when she went to go investigate a body in the Brume and wound up with a lot of trauma.

But this is also where her connection with being a Dragoon was shattered, as she began to view it as something frankly horrific because of what her role was in the Dragonsong War, how close she got to Ysayle, and then everything at the end. The shift to DRK was already happening since Seraphin was injured pretty badly and needed to back off but also because Surkie was disgusted by what she had done to get there. The hard shift came when Nidhogg - with Gae Bolg - injured her so severely that she couldn't keep up with it. She tried one last time at Rhalgr's Reach, but by then that was that. She gave up the lance in favor of a claymore because she was too physically injured to keep up and Zenos had shattered the spear tied to her identity. Sure, she kept up with the other classes and being a RDM gave her some advantage with the Resistance and working with X'rhun advanced some of her other studies, but at this point that image of the Azure Dragoon Cloaked in Ivory was gone. Unable to continue in that class and having it thoroughly ruined by its history, she fell hard into DRK and found that her shit mood only helped fuel it (NOT A GOOD THING). Her inability to continue as a DRG was something that wound up coloring how she interacted with Estinien during the Steppe stuff for drg70, especially since the final nail was Zenos' fault. RDM70 gave her the three scars over one eye, her work with X'rhun and the side trip to the Steppe wound up with this spur the moment idea that WORKS and that's sending the teenaged Borlaaqi with the potential for red magic to be trained by him, which built interest and thus more people getting involved in the revival in Ala Mhigo but also it fostered good relations between the two groups, some of the Borlaaqi stayed as Crimson Duelists, while others took the magic back to the Steppe to work with it further. So now there's just a bunch of deadly teenagers with foreign magic that are gonna be so obnoxious during the Naadam.

It's more that the lack of being a DRG is what impacts Surkie through everything. She didn't get the chance to redefine it in the way Estinien managed to since she's unable to keep up. She leaned further and further into DRK, especially as breakdown after breakdown and pain over seeming to lose Ysayle gave her a fragile yet extremely potent form of power through the class itself. And through SHB, this was how Norvrandt was introduced to their Warrior of Darkness, which fit all too well and kinda had her spiralling. Dark Knight has resulted in Esteem acting as someone who can talk for her and talk her through stuff, Esteem is now actively recognized by the Scions and people she works with. Esteem is as apart of MSQ as much as regularly recurring non-Scion npcs tbh.

Post SHB is where AST comes back to bite Surkie in the ass because Werlyt and Zadnor are heralded by the addition of a new party member: Krystsyng. Who they are quick to discover (thanks to Teodore) is an agent of the Forum sent to hunt down Leveva and her pupil. And Krystsyng figured out Surkie quick, and so there is a running plot up until half way through Endwalker of trying to deal with the fact that the Forum didn't let up like they said they would, and Krystsyng would see Surkie dead. ...Until she's called off and now she's just this menacing neutral figure that is way too friendly with them, but that's for post ENW.

.............surkies class situation is messy anyways

MNK is tacked on as something for Surkie's recovery period between 5.55 and 6.0, since this is when she has the twins. She picks it up to stay active early on, but W'khittri helps her get more into it post-delivery to help her get back up on her feet and maybe help her get back into DRG. It's a bonding activity between Surkie and her sister's girlfriend, and while she doesn't fully class as it, fundamentals are now incorporated into her other classes. This is also when she summons Diarmuid Ua Duibhne as her Reaper contract. This part is crucial because of how it ties back to Donovich, Saoirse, and even Ammut. Diarmuid is 13th Estinien, aka Donovich; Donovich was the younger brother of Cylva, and a close companion to Saoirse; Saoirse is 13th Surkie who is now the Morrigna; Ammut (Surkie's previous life) was executed by Amon with Diarmuid, and now Surkie is using Diarmuid as her voidsent. Beyond it affecting her combat, she has now thrown herself into a further chaotic situation with Fandaniel and Tiamat, and it makes Fandaniel more of an antagonist than Zenos just by the virtue of her being Ammut and seeming to just drag up everyone from that past. Diarmuid is equally as much of an involved character as Esteem, and if she hadn't summoned him she might have just died in the void. He fused with her to get her back to the Ragnarok in time (not the canon stuff by any means) and so now RPR has evolved in a sense because she's now half Voidsent. She's got a deeper connection with 6.X, she has more direct info about the turf wars, she's now a direct target because of who she fused with (ty Saoirse, you're so fkn helpful), all of the trial fights have been 1v1s because of RPR stuff, and in order to even have that contract to begin with Surkie had to swear to work on restoring the 13th, which was already in the plans. She does start to get DRG back, and putting an end to Zenos does help her start to work through things, but what really marks her shift in attitude is that her relationship with being a Dark Knight has finally and firmly reoriented itself away from trauma and more towards keeping her loved ones safe. Because she went from "messy relationship with friends/co-workers she's sure would abandon her + messy sibling relationship = feels alone constantly" to "she suddenly has a lot of romantic partners, three of which are her fiances, and also she's a parent now??" very quickly. And it forced her to reconcile quickly so she could be more self sustainable and get her priorities straight.

so like the gist of it is that the DRG>DRK pipeline was Surkie learning that her original goals were very off (she sought power; she needed agency) and the way it affects msq is that it's the tangible mark of her growth as a person and how she's really grown for the better. Her classes are more of how she's viewed, but some - like RDM, AST, MNK and DRK - have led her to forge deeper bonds and allegiances with others as well as create powerful enemies that won't leave her alone lmao

More than anything, her spells allow her to not only gain a better understanding of people and how the world works - driving her through her own curiosity - but it also backfires in that she's constantly getting into hot water over the legality of her studies. And she wouldn't want it any other way because she loathes the fact that stuff (like phytomancy) is illegal for deeply petty reasons. It allows her to shift into working with the alchemists of Radz-at-Han, it gives her a place at the Great Work, and she's one of the people who helped develop a vessel for Venat after Endwalker to keep her around. She wants to keep challenging what people understand and think of magic while simultaneously redefining stuff that has been scorned. Her classes are her story, and they both help and hurt msq because she's stubborn and she's the fucking necromancer.

Onto Gwendoline.

Gwendoline's relationship with classes and MSQ is interesting because her entire reason for hiring Surkukteni in the first place was a scapegoat and alibi should she get caught in her studies. She's a very skilled CNJ and ALC from the get-go, but she prioritizes necromancy, some aspects of voidsent summoning, and eventually white magic, black magic and other banned magicks. She has a very antagonistic relationship with magical law, will not shut up about it, and will not stop breaking said law because she has a personal vendetta against it for very valid reasons. Part of what allowed her to become a skilled CNJ was the fact that she is a chirurgeon for a medical underground in Gridania that takes in people that are shunned by the Guild and any healers. This means poachers, outcasts, and most notably (and importantly) refugees. She knows from intimate experience with various magicks and these groups that most of the arbitrary bans are hurting more than helping and she refuses to fall in line with them. Her entire interaction with MSQ is causing problems with her classes to challenge their very bans because she's VERY cocky and she would love to try and see someone stop her.

She views necromancy as an extension of her conjury, especially since it's helped her expand her abilities in ways that include stasis and other forms of preservation to keep someone at the state they're in so that they don't run out of time. Over the course of ARR, she picked up what magicks she could for the sake of learning, and wound up falling deeply into black magic and summoning to a degree, but mostly to see how she could implement them into her already expansive abilities.

Yeah she's a lot like Y'shtola in this regard it's no wonder they're together. It also makes it very obvious as to why she works so well with Teodore, later Katsuro, and then later also gets with Nidhana: she values intellectual curiosity and this is how she navigates her own jobs. They're useful tools, but she sees them as something for her to tinker with and expand beyond what the nations allow. It's through this that she revives phytomancy to a degree (which is something I came up with; it's a nymian attempt at replicating white magic that has vestigial spells in arcanima through bio and all the other spells) because it's through phytomancy that they bring back the "graft" spell to aid in Surkukteni's recovery from Nidhogg, then implement it on a wider scale since its use as temporary flesh could save a lot of lives that current healing magic can't address.

Teodore's main proficiency is Black Magic, and a lot of his studies are looking into the classical spells of Mhachi mages and trying to figure out if they've documented everything that was available. While he was in Sharlayan, he used to cycle through jobstones due to the fact that each one held various experiences and often very different spells depending on the original user and what point in the 5th era they were from. This work has manifested in what was originally a very middling stone from the 5th era that wasn't anything special being used as his stone and a culmination of his research. So while it wasn't really anything better than a paper weight, it now contains a plethora of spells from across the reign of Mhach that range from "vestigial black magic in thaumaturgy" to "spells that were likely only used by the likes of Shatotto or other mages of legend or infamy". His goal through ARR - and this influences where they go and what they're involved in - is to create stones that act as an entire database of Black Magic, which is then applied to all of his other stones - with WHM and SCH having fairly high priorities. He maintains SMN as a way to see if he can manifest egis separate from the usual affair - especially with that known limit of 3 egis + demi- summons - which again leads the group down some weird diversions into what primals he wants to seek out. SGE is the only one that's not for research purposes as that's actually his stone. It's what he learned prior to getting into magical history, preservation, and experimentation. Like Gwen, he inherently challenges the idea of why these things are banned...but unlike Gwen, he's not keen on breaking the law that lets him have this power because he genuinely cares about preservation! It's just he can't do that preservation if everything is dead!! So yes, Sharlayan comes up quite a lot because he's in a lot of shit - politically and academically - for getting involved in Eorzea's business. His ability to be in Eorzea as a Black Mage is tied together, and he ends up developing more spells as time goes on just by virtue of that adventuring. So yeah he's another problem in that he's using illegal magicks like Gwen, but he's also breaking Sharlayan law like Surkie and that has consequences later into the story.

Teodore is a lot like Gwendoline in the regard that his magic directly correlates with his story. He's the only one of the group who openly wields 3rd and 5th era magic without being apart of the guilds initially. The reason being is that he's a fairly renowned experimental magician - a sage in the classic FF sense and not the XIV sense - and has all of these jobstones on loan from the Forum for his research on the condition he doesn't meddle in local politics.

That condition was long broken and he hasn't obeyed it since the fight with Ifrit.

And finally, onto Seraphin.

What's funny about Seraphin is that his main class doesn't have as much impact on story as his side class ends up having. Seraphin is a gladiator to make money for his family; he is also one of the best on the Bloodsands as of ARR, but he doesn't enjoy it which is what leads to the bodyguard work and why he and Teodore got caught in the Ifrit bullshit when they weren't involved with MSQ prior to it. If anything, Seraphin didn't want to be involved in MSQ because he was still a gladiator and he still needed to support his family first and foremost. But as he was exposed to the Scions and the state of things outside of it, his goals started to get lofty - especially with regards to the liberation of Ala Mhigo and getting his family back to their homeland. Which is why even if he is a canon Paladin, he is not a sultansworn. One of the problems through ARR is how the party deals with Ul'dah and its governing bodies, and beyond what I already said about Little Ala Mhigo and the Amalj'aa in that other answer, a sticking point is the fact that Seraphin is hired to take down a rogue Paladin, but ends up joining him instead. This is someone who's well versed in the old practices and is more in line of the morality of what Paladin should be, instead of just a cop for the Sultana and Syndicate. Seraphin holds an illegal jobstone, and this is frequently used against him as they try to work with the Grand Companies - and he doesn't like any of this! He tries to keep his head down to not draw attention by the Brass Blades or Immortal Flames, yet now he's embroiled in this nonsense because he wanted to do the right thing. It means that every interaction with Ul'dah is made significantly harder because an Ala Mhigan Duskwight refugee is embarrassing the Sultansworn through outperforming them, is working with someone who broke from them to begin with, and is aiding the local tribes. Frankly, they don't even need to do the false regicide plot (even though they do) because they were already building a case against Seraphin prior to being named Warrior of Light. Branching out and learning from Ishgardian Paladins (another state institution, he doesn't stick around with them) and even from Skuld (who is a ~120yo Sharlayan Paladin trying to get that part of herself back) lets him figure himself out and what Paladin means to him, and it sort of ends up a blend of Cloud's initial energy in ff7 to something more like Cecil after he ditched the dark knight stuff and became a paladin in ff4. It's not state affiliated, it's entirely morality driven, and it's the other side of the coin to Surkie as a Dark Knight because it's doing the right thing For The Sake of doing the right thing on a very wide scale vs doing the right thing to protect those closest to you. Like Surkie, this becomes tied to his identity; and like Surkie, he suffers a grievous wound that makes it difficult to keep up (Fenrir mauled his leg in Snowcloak) so he shifts to two things to help with recovery.

MNK and RDM mean a lot to Seraphin due to their connections back to Ala Mhigo, but RDM means the most to Seraphin. MNK is an outlet for him that he initially picked up from W'khittri (like Surkie) but continued to train in it with the likes of Widargelt and Lyse as something to keep his mind off of the stress of Stormblood and potentially losing his homeland to the Garleans again since shit was looking bad. He doesn't really use it in serious combat and just handles it as a social thing - not that it doesn't help with the others, he just doesn't main class it like W'khittri.

RDM is the one that has a lot of importance due to the fact that he grew up on stories of the Crimson Duelists and really admired them, and now he's working directly with X'rhun. Where Surkie goes off to utilize that to learn how to better manage her aether while making connections elsewhere, Seraphin is the one to work directly with X'rhun to build the Crimson Duelists back up with members of the Resistance and help train them. He does this, in part, through the Doman half of Stormblood since he's in Gyr Abania then, but building up a new faction of Crimson Duelists is something he works on while X'rhun continues to travel to see if he can help others. This means there's a fair group by Endwalker to help with things, and this means he has an outlet during post Endwalker and something to occupy himself after the "disbanding" of the Scions. When I said that this has the most story impact, I mean it in the sense that the most changes because now there is a fairly strong revival of the Crimson Duelists compared to the handful of practitioners as seen in canon. PLD has a lot of consequences early on, but it's more personal stuff for Seraphin; RDM, however, now has an entirely new dynamic and function within MSQ because he is one of the people working to revive the spellcraft. He's also the only one of the group who's not immediately torn into by Sharlayan, and frankly they want to see if he or X'rhun would be down to help archive what they know of the magic and what Seraphin (and Surkie, tbh) have developed beyond its standard teachings. There are way more Red Mages in this version of MSQ - and a VERY diverse group of them, btw - than in canon as Seraphin doesn't want to let this die. This is a part of his identity and it's a facet of reclaiming part of what Garlemald destroyed by working on this facet of restoration.

And that's.

That's a lot but that's it! :D

god help me.

[utilitycaster]

Would LOVE that essay on combat in dnd because full agree. But not even just for people watching live play, like, combat is an essential feature of dnd as a game system and it endlessly frustrates me when i see dms be like “yeah combat is just too complicated and no fun so i dont do it in my game :)!” Like i guess thats your right, but any non-caster class is gonna be miserable in your game. I saw a video recently talking about how dnd has kind of become the default ttrpg and is marketed as the perfect system for everyone and any style of play which is just. So not true. Combat in dnd is equally as integral as roleplay is and theres really no argument otherwise. Very valid if you hate dnd combat, it sure isnt for everyone, but in that case maybe play a different ttrpg where the characters arent constructed around combat abilities, i promise you’ll have more fun.

So this is one of those things that touches on maybe 99% of my feelings on Experiencing Fiction in general and actual play in particular; I apologize in advance for the length and digressions within this response.

Here are the reasons I have seen or I surmise why people don’t like D&D combat, either in actual play or in home games:

It can get crunchy and involves a lot of rules

There are long stretches in which individuals do not necessarily act (not exclusive to combat but I think this is a factor)

It contains violence

There is a potential for character death

Now, it’s fine if you aren’t interested in D&D-style combat, for whatever reason, when you play ttrpgs. It’s just that this is a core feature of D&D. As you say, this is what the martial classes are structured around - and, frankly, no small number of casting classes/subclasses as well. By avoiding it when you play D&D, you’re avoiding the bulk of the game, and there are plenty of ttrpgs that permit open RP that aren’t combat focused that would probably fit your needs better (eg: PbtA and Savage Worlds are both generic systems that can support a heroic fantasy like D&D without the emphasis on combat skills). I happen to love and prefer D&D, but that is specifically because I love combat, and yeah, there are other games and people should seek out those games if they don’t like combat.

When it comes to D&D actual play though…skipping combat is just straight-up stupid. And to be clear I mean fully skipping it and not watching it at all; while this is piggybacking off my post about spoilers, it’s fine if you are the sort of person who needs to know how combat ends in order to enjoy it! That’s just a personal preference that I respect even if I don’t share it.

D&D combat isn’t just an inherent part of the game; it’s an inherent part of the story. The idea of D&D being split into combat and RP is a false dichotomy. There is RP and crucial story within combat scenes, and you simply do not achieve the same effects by reading an after-the-fact summary. To use examples from Critical Role, consider one of the most famous RP moments from Campaign 1, when Scanlan uses his 9th level counterspell in the Vecna fight. The weight of that moment derives from mechanics and from the fact that it is in the midst of combat and well into a climatic final battle. Or for lighter examples, there’s a ton of Beau/Yasha and Fjord/Jester mid-combat flirting running through much of Campaign 2 that informs those relationships. Molly’s death? Caleb going into a fugue state when he kills humanoids with fire? Yasha destroying Obann? Fjord dying mid-deep scion fight? Those are all moments that have deep character weight and meaning that are within the context of combat, and you cannot divorce them from that context and hope to retain the same effect.

This is what dovetails into a larger discussion of Experiencing Fiction which is a (in my opinion) worrying tendency among some people to truly believe that you can cut up media into the palatable bits and pieces and push all of what you see as icky vegetables to the side of your plate. I fucking hate this. I think it’s what drives a lot of things including a distaste for combat. This is how you get, for example, people who dislike combat because Violence And Death Bad, which, do I think that in the real world violence is most often a thing to be avoided? Do I think that in the real world death is heartbreaking? Yes, but this is fiction. There’s that great Brennan Lee Mulligan quote about how TTRPGs like D&D allow people who usually must be conflict-avoidant in real life to let out their anger and frustration in a place where it is safe and harmless, and I believe that whole-heartedly. I want stories about death because I want to know I'm not alone in how I feel about death. I want stories in which people can express their rage in ways both healthy and unhealthy, because big same. (I also think it’s absolutely not coincidental that people who believe they are ‘protecting’ people by circumscribing what is acceptable in fiction tend to be strongly associated with either bigoted, violent policies in real life, or harassment and doxxing online; maybe enjoy a fucked up movie, as John Waters once said, and you'll calm down.)

This idea that you can cut up media and only consume what you like is also what I think is behind some of the really ill-considered and overly granular timestamped content warnings I’ve mentioned previously. It is fine if there are things you don’t want to watch or which will be upsetting or even triggering to watch! It’s fine if you as an individual don’t like violence! But I think there’s a problem when people believe they are entitled to be able to watch whatever they want and have it mold to their exact wants and needs (and that it’s a failing if it doesn’t), rather than taking on the responsibility of seeking out media that already fits the bill. Actual Play D&D will nearly always have violent encounters. If this will be an issue this is not for you. It is not gatekeeping to say “you can come through this gate, but the gate is in fact here for your specifically requested protection"; and yet people think that instead, gates should be placed around everything else. So (to give an example) this is why the warnings for D20’s Neverafter strike me as a symptom of this larger problem - if you have discomfort with violence towards animals and children, that’s fine, but you are watching a D&D horror series in which over half the player characters are either animals or children. This is not something where you can skip a few seconds of a flashing gif that might be a migraine or seizure trigger, or a case where an exceptionally rough scene of gaslighting can be read instead of watched; this is inherent to the show, and if this is not for you, you need to go elsewhere.

To give one last example, I was looking for fanart for Worlds Beyond Number, and came across a picture of Suvi with a caption of “Suvi but without the imperialism” and like…Aabria has said in interviews that this engagement with the empire is extremely deliberate; that Suvi is intended to be tied into the political structures of this world as an intentional contrast with Eursulon’s status as an outsider and Ame’s role at the smaller, community level. Suvi without imperialism is not identifiable as the same character and it throws the entire story off-kilter; she is of this empire and that is the fucking point. Any story worth telling is not just items thrown haphazardly into a bowl; they are combined and mixed. Someone is giving you a plate of brownies and you are acting like it’s physically possible to take out the cocoa powder without fucking the end result, and buddy, it’s not.

(Truly, I was not joking when I said this is like, the load-bearing pillar of most of my complaints about fiction consumption patterns in general. This is about how people will deny the flaws in characters even though any reasonably intelligent ten-year-old, and I know because I fucking was one once, understands that person vs. themself is one of the core conflicts and overcoming one’s flaws is in many cases the entire story and if you start out perfect there is nothing to be said. Like…I think a lot of people genuinely just want to watch a nonstop Monterey Bay Otter Cam of their sufficiently sanitized, focus-group-tested blorbos baking cookies together, and are affronted when people with the tiniest sliver of empathy and/or curiosity want a story with plot and character growth, which in turn require conflict.)

Anyway. I think the takeaways here are that there’s this awful entitlement people have in which they think that they can simply consume anything and it is the failure of that media if it doesn’t cater specifically to them, rather than a failure of them to seek out that which they would enjoy (and I could go on this rant indefinitely; it is truly the most constant theme among Takes I Think Are Dumb); and also I really want to bake something right now, given my choices of metaphor. Combat is part of D&D as a game and as a storytelling medium, and it is incumbent upon people who do not like combat to find something that doesn’t have D&D combat, rather than try to pull out the vital organs of the story.

[takamishinko]

HI i have a request !! sero x male s/o where sero’s bf is really extroverted + hyper but deep down, really insecure about his image. sero knows & has always helped but one day his bf isn’t acting normal and sero gives him some cuddles and/or reassurance in words. i love comfort sero and he’d be great to have rn if thats not too much to ask :,) keep up the great writing too btw !!

ofc you can np, sorry it took so long i needed to head home first

my sunshine boyfriend

pronouns: he/him

warnings: nothing really mainly just fluff

_____

sero's boyfriend was one of the most cheerful people in class 1A. In fact sero got together with him in the first place because of his extrovert and bubbly personality. almost everyone in class 1A was fond of y/n. honestly, who wouldn’t? someone who always has a smile on his face and gets along with people sounds pretty perfect as a friend and a boyfriend.

y/n of course loved sero very much. sero might not have the top looks in the class compared to the likes of todoroki, but he's decent looking. not to mention, sero is a really nice guy to be around. he’s kind, easy to get along with, and pretty funny! many would say that they're a great match for each other.

y/n and sero have always had a great relationship together and got along quite well. they would often pass around small notes in class when they sat right next to each other. small giggles would fill the space between them as the boring class time went by. they had the perfect high school relationship that everyone wishes for.

some would say that a crucial part of a healthy relationship is honesty, but everyone has something they wish to keep hidden away from the world. y/n was no different. everything appeared to be going smoothly with their relationship, but something has been bothering y/n since the beginning. the truth is, y/n has always been incredibly self conscious of his own image, whether it’s around other people or his own body image, etc. contrary to his usual personality, things like this will often get him down. it’s been a deeply dreaded trouble of his, which he has been dealing with for a while now. there's only one person who has known this side of y/n and it was none other than his beloved boyfriend sero. he was always there to help y/n whenever he needed him, and he even promised y/n that no matter how he looks, no matter what happens, y/n will always be perfect to him, he appreciates y/n for just the way he is.

on the day class 1A was doing mock battles against each other for their combat practices,  y/n, unfortunately, was matched against bakugou, one of the strongest in the class. everyone knows about bakugou's strength, there's a reason why everyone's intimidated by him. both for his combat prowess, and the fact that his manner of speaking isn't what you would consider pleasant. the practice match was pretty much one sided, with a crushing victory on bakugou's side while y/n was left defeated, barely able to stand. mr.aizawa ceased the battle and told y/n to take a break back at his dorm. the usually bubbly and cheerful y/n is now slouching his back and dragging his feet back to his dorm.  sero saw this and immediately knew something was wrong. He had already completed his match against kaminari so he decided to follow y/n back to his dorm.

“hey y/n are you ok? You look… kind of down” Sero asked politely.

“y-yah of course i'm fine! don’t worry about it” y/n replied weakly.

“you don’t look alright to me. c'mon, y'know you can tell me when there's something wrong. ” Sero said as he started holding you in his arms.

the warmth of his touch immediately broke what little emotional control you had left, you felt your vision blur as warm streaks of tears came flooding down without control.

“hanta... you’re right, I guess I'm not okay.” you whimpered as you pushed your face into his chest.

you could feel hantas hand gently stroking your back as soft hics came out of your throat.

“there, there…let’s go back to my dorm, we don’t have any more practices for today, we can go back and relax. how does that sound?"

you slowly lifted your face and gave hanta a small nod. he gently guided you back with his hand tightly holding on to yours.

once you two got back to the dorms, you quickly took a shower and changed into some comfortable clothes to enjoy the rest of your day together. you still looked pretty dejected so sero decided to carry you in his arms and softly placed you on the bed to join you.

“c'mon babe, tell me what’s wrong?”

you nudged closer to sero and held his hands, it gave you a sense of security.

“it’s just,  when bakugou defeated me… i felt everyone looking at me, everyone looking down at someone who lost, a pathetic loser…i felt so weak. It was like I was underneath everyone” you murmured under your breath.

sero pulled you even closer to him and looked at you right in the eye

“oh c’mon y/n you know that’s not true. you did so well out there! there's barely anyone in this class that can have a full on duel with bakugou and come out still feeling like their body parts are intact. not to mention,  everyone wasn’t looking down on you, they were all impressed by how cool you looked out there! especially me! I can't believe that the person fighting out there, someone who is that strong, is my boyfriend and you don’t know how happy I am for that.”

sero somehow always knew what to do, his words gave you confidence and this time was no exception.

“thanks... hanta, i really appreciate it”

“of course babe, don’t worry about it. now death from huggles and tickles!!”

“haha! hanta stop!!”

“there's my sunshine! your laugh is beautiful, y’know that?”

you could feel your cheeks warming up from sero's comment, but you enjoyed the nice compliments.

“don’t ever forget, I'm always here for you.'' sero reassured you with a smile before the both of you comfortably fell asleep together in his bed.

[earnestly-endlessly]

Hey! I hope I'm not bothering you, I just found your blog and I love it sm, and I saw you sometimes do cherik fic recs. Do you have any Canon divergence aus/fix it, preferably after Cuba, that are 30k or longer and have a happy ending? If not thats okay! You don't have to answer this. Have a wonderful day!

Hi anon, thank you so much. I’m happy you both like my blog and my recs. You are certainly not bothering me, and feel free to send me an ask any time. I have plenty of recommendations for you. Some of them diverge a bit from your request because I couldn’t help but recommend them as well. I will put a note on those who diverge from your request. As always, I only recommend fics I have personally read and enjoyed and I sincerely you love them too.

-Canon divergence aus/fix it, post Cuba, 30k or longer, with a happy ending cherik fic recs-

Not Half As Blinding- keire_ke

Summary: Cuban beach AU. Charles discovers that death does, in fact, solve everything.

Lay down beside me (so still and so soft) – C-Gracewood

Summary: A different take on the events of the film.

Rumor Has It – blueink3

Summary: "Did I hear the doorbell earlier?"

"Yeah, but I'd steer clear if I were you. It seemed a little tense. I don't know what's going on, but there's a kid out there who looks freakily like the prof."

Nearly six months after Cuba, Charles' life is turned upside down for the second time. Though he's slowly learning to adapt to the first, he's not sure he can handle the second. Luckily for him, there are a few people out there more than willing to help.

Forward Momentum – AsYouWish

Summary: Six months after Cuba, Charles and Erik find themselves thrown fifty years into the future, where they meet their older selves, the Avengers, and a world that's very different from their own. Faced with the pieces of their broken relationship, an unparalleled adversary, and dealing with Tony Stark on a daily basis, Charles and Erik do their best to adapt while trying to find a way back home -- and to each other.

When an Unstoppable Force Meets an Immovable Optimist – ToriTC198

Summary: "You are always trying to save me, Charles." Erik mused aloud. "Ever since you dove into the ocean and dragged me out. Did it ever occur to you that I might not be worth saving?"

A genuine smile broke out on Charles' face as he brightly answered, "No, my friend, not once. I have every confidence you are well worth saving. But, I never truly believed I could save you. You are not the sort of man who someone saves. The choice to be a better man has always been yours to make and I hold no illusions that I can make that decision for you. I simply have faith that one day you will save yourself. I only hope I am still at your side to witness it."

What if Erik and Charles had been able to find a middle ground in the end?

Take the First Option – ShowMeAHero

Summary: When Erik becomes unbalanced, Emma presents him with three options: go back to Charles for three months and learn to deal with whatever he has going have going on, lose his Brotherhood, or let Emma control his mind.

He really only has one choice.

Virtue to Which We Aspire – varlovian

Summary: Nine months after Cuba, Charles is found by Erik's Brotherhood in the smoldering ruins of an abandoned CIA base, exhausted but alive. As the only known survivor of the CIA's vendetta against mutants, recovering Charles' memory of the incident—which he admits to having forgotten—just became paramount.

But the harder they push, the closer Charles gets to breaking point. When he finally cracks, the X-Men and the Brotherhood will learn the truth, but it comes with a price...

Some doors, once opened, cannot be closed.

Some minds, once broken, will never be the same again.

The Waking of the Red King – rustingroses

Summary: When Charles' heavy injuries on the Cuban beach conspire to leave him in a coma and living in fantasy of his own making, Erik, the man who once threatened to divide the mutant cause, finds himself desperately trying to hold everything together. First of the Red King trilogy.

Wake Up and Smell the Pancakes –  Ayra Sei Ethari

Summary: In one universe, Erik left Charles. In another, he stayed. So what happens when the two Eriks get switched? "At first, Erik thinks he's dreaming. Then he realizes that this is Charles. Who is not paralyzed. And kissing him.

Rage and Serenity – MagickMaker, TheFangedGoblin

Summary: After Charles is shot on the beach, he is rushed to the hospital and paralysis is prevented. Ridden with guilt, Erik finds that he cannot leave him. He helps him heal, and eventually, Charles learns to trust him again. But when they set out to rescue Emma from the CIA and accept her onto their team, tensions rise. Will love keep Erik and Charles together despite their differences?

No Yesterdays on the Road – pocky_slash

Summary: It's been two months since Cuba and things are settling down for Charles, Erik, and the beginnings of their mutant school. Right up until Charles disappears, that is. Faced with the possibility that a bitter Emma Frost has kidnapped Charles, Erik is forced to team up with Moira to hunt down the remainder of the Hellfire Club. From there, they hope to locate Frost and retrieve Charles, without killing each other along the way.

(Or: Erik and Moira Drive Across the Country and Talk About Their Feelings.)

What Can We Do Without You? – SwoopSwoop

Summary: Charles and the boys were holding onto a secret more dear to them than their own lives when Charles disappears into the night; Erik is betrayed and finds himself returning to Westchester in the hopes that the government was just trying to trick him. All the while the boys are stuck in the middle, left guarding the secret from the man they are most afraid of finding out who is weaselling his way back into their lives alarmingly easily.

Note: Includes Mpreg, but don’t let that discourage you from reading it because it’s a really great fix-it.

Survival Instinct – Lindstorm

Summary: It’s been months since Charles pulled Erik out of the ocean, and Erik is beginning to wonder how many more times he can choose Charles, and still keep his vow to kill Shaw. Cooperating with the CIA is straining Erik’s patience. When a fact-gathering mission goes wrong and Charles is kidnapped, Erik is left trying to hold their mutant band together while Raven and the rest of them fall apart. No one can foresee how the mutant Charles meets in captivity will challenge all his assumptions about his own power, and twist Charles’ telepathy out of his control. In the race to stop Shaw's nuclear ambitions from coming to fruition, Charles makes a crucial misstep. Erik’s decision between Shaw and Charles takes on unexpected ramifications when [spoiler deleted].

Needles (Series) – Skull_Bearer

Summary: AU where everyone's born Dominant or Submissive

Once a Dominant and Submissive pair is born, they are linked to each other, no matter how far apart they are. This link doesn't actually tell the Dom or the Sub each other's thoughts, but it does allow them to know how the other's doing and serves as a reassurance that there's someone meant for them out there.

Another one of the reasons that Erik hates Shaw so badly is because Shaw managed to break Erik's link to his Sub. Now Erik doesn't even know if his Sub's alive because breaking a link like that can kill a Submissive.

Meanwhile, Charles hates himself for not yet having telepathy strong enough to contact and help his Dom, especially after feeling the pain his Dom was forced to go through. He truly believes that his Dominant is dead. Hopes it, some nights when he remembers how his Dom was forced to suffer. It's better than to think of his Dom still being forced to bear that pain.

And then Charles pulls Erik from the water

Time to Grow – zarah5

Summary: In which you'll find chess dates which aren't dates (or maybe Charles is wrong about that). -- Based on First Class, this turns (slightly) AU during the beach scene.

Note: This fic is less than 30k words but it’s such a fandom classic and just a great read if you love your fix-its.

Faults for Fixing – beren

Summary: Charles sees the events of the missile crisis and subsequent weeks when he uses Cerebro to touch the mind of a mutant with the power to see the near future. When he wakes up he is determined that he will not allow them to happen and he will not lose the people he loves.

Note: A bit less than 30k words long but another great read.

It’s like one of us woke up – kaydeefalls

Summary: "You came here for me," Charles said, meeting Shaw's gaze levelly. "So let's not waste any more time."

Canon!AU in which Charles and Erik do find Shaw in Russia.

Note: XMFC fix it, but the events in Cuba don’t happen. 

Afterlife – Anna (arctic_grey)

Summary: A year after Washington, Erik wakes up in excruciating pain as sudden awareness washes over him: Charles is dead. Erik has to adjust to yet another future: no extinction, just a world without Charles. But the death of his former friend leaves Erik weak and his powers drained. His quest for answers leads him back to Westchester, where Erik has to face his past with Charles and put together the puzzle pieces of what happened to the man he once cared for.

The Burdens We Long to Carry – arcapelago (arcanewinter)

Summary: When mutant-supporter and ally President Kennedy is assassinated and all pro-mutant progress is dismantled, Charles is no longer so confident that he's on the right side, and extends his hand to Erik after a year of animosity. They settle tentatively into their old partnership, but not everything is the same as it was--and not everything can be. When Hank develops a metal frame to move the lower half of Charles' body for him if he wants it, Erik offers the use of his mind and his ability in order to make it work. Both find out what they're willing to do for each other, and neither knows if it'll be enough to keep them together.

Other Futures Than These – midrashic

Summary: In which Cuba doesn't break them apart, but that doesn't mean that their futures are tied together. (Except that it does.)

A Days of Future Past AU where only one person can defeat the Sentinels and save the future: the man whose imprisonment and torture created them, and Charles Xavier's ex.

The Winter of Banked Fires – Yahtzee

Summary: Charles Xavier has returned from the dead -- but is lost within his own mind. Rogue has cast aside her own power and doesn't know where she fits in the world any longer. The production of synthetic Cure means mutantkind itself is newly at risk. And Magneto, turned human against his will, is in despair until the day he feels a familiar consciousness tugging at his own --

Set after X-3 (with much desperate fix-it applied), during XMFC, and every time in between.

[antiterf]

TERFs talk about desexualizing people as if its just whining about not finding a partner and not a removal of something that our cultural sees as crucial to our humanity and takes part in our dehumanization.

(Desexualizing is basically taking away the thought that someone can or be sexual and/or removing the sexual quality of someone).

There was a study going around that said a large percentage of the population wouldn't date trans people. It was going around with terfs, and most of them made fun of it.

It was this one: "Across a sample of heterosexual, lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, and trans individuals, 87.5% indicated that they would not consider dating a trans person"

We're told that our bodies are too gross to have sexual relations with. Our genitalia works differently with HRT, and its described as disgusting and unattractive. We're talked to about our genitalia by transphobic assholes randomly and out of the blue, like our private parts aren't even private.

Complaints about this are shoved to the side because "I don't Have to date or have sex with Anyone"

No, you don't! But thats not the fucking point!

The point is addressing the stigma that comes with being transgender and the stigma around trans bodies. It has little to nothing to do with you besides asking why you have so much hatred and disgust for bodies that are different than yours.

And before I get ridiculous remarks like "because you're forcing people to date sexes that their not attracted to!" I've seen these comments applied to dating trans people when that person would date them if they never transitioned. I've seen bi people say that they don't want to date trans people because of our bodies.

And the main reason why I am using the term bodies and not sex characteristics, is because desexualization isn't exclusive to trans people. I was ignorant to desexualization being an actual Thing until hearing about it talked about with disabled people. In fact, you know that stat earlier about only dating trans people?

"A 2008 poll for the Observer found that 70% of those surveyed would not have sex with a disabled person." Please tell me you wouldn't make fun of that and call us disabled people incels because we pointed this out. Heres something more recent to point out that disabled people are less desirable in romantic relationships as a whole. To fit more with the overall dating comparison.

And I may not be intersex, but God, do you know how shitty it must feel to hear about how you're not as good as cis perisex people because you have different sex characteristics? Trans people are not the only ones with different hormone levels or different genitalia, yet thats whats mentioned when someone would never want to date a trans person. Those things can and do apply to intersex individuals as well on top of their own struggles with desexualization.

Tldr: Complaining about relationship barriers isn't something "people who need to feel like they're oppressed" do. Its an actual issue that affects more than just trans people. Don't dismiss it.

[toxicsamruby]

what are your thoughts on sam as a man of color?

OKAY so i do sort of go into this in my fic but im not gonna make u sift thru it for my opinions cuz i like to hear myself talk :) also disclaimer im gonna be exclusively talking abt the early seasons cuz i dont know or understand whats going on post s4. also also disclaimer all the posts im making abt this r about john as a white man and maryam as an arab woman . OK lets get into it

so one of the big differences btwn sam and dean is a question of assimilation. and dont get me wrong both of them do it in different ways but the first information we get about sam is that he’s trying VERY hard to assimilate not into the hunter cowboy culture that dean is but into the PROTECTED lifestyle of middle/upper class normalcy and ivy leagues and a pretty blonde wife and a respectable job in tax law or whatever. like a lot of sam’s characterization in the early seasons is about striving not necessarily towards “Normalcy” (although thats an essential part of it) but, more broadly, towards the moral ideal that’s been set forth by the white supremacist christian hegemony of american culture. and this manifests in the way that he runs away to stanford and tries so so hard to fit in, and also in his self destructive devotion to the christian god. it’s almost entirely based in a feeling of being unclean or unholy, and he believes in god not as a comfort but as a desperation for salvation, or a purification of what he believes is dirty blood.

so sam is TRYING to assimilate into this mainstream moral ideal, we see that, and there are times where he actually almost succeeds! he got into stanford with a full ride on his own merit! he did really well all four years, and he ended up with friends and a white woman he wanted to marry and entrance into a career that would have marked him as a respectable and fairly well off man for the rest of his life. he is a faithful christian, he prays every day and he reads the bible and he genuinely believes. surface level, he might have been comfortable forgetting about his roots and assimilating successfully for the rest of his life. but, crucially, he DOESNT succeed. why?

there is something marking him as “different” the entire time, something inherent, something he can’t shake off no matter how hard he tries to repress it. at stanford, of course, its his childhood, the monster hunting, the fucked up family, the extreme poverty. with christianity, its the demon blood. he can pretend all his life to be a good christian middle class lawyer with a nice white wife and a nice picket fence, but at the end of the day that life was not built for somebody like sam, and to succeed in it he will have to repress parts of himself that will never go away.

put this into the context of race. i said that i think dean’s relationship with gender white supremacy americana etc becomes more interesting when he’s a brown skinned man of color. dean is unable to assimilate into the kind of life that sam aims for. he has a markedly more antagonistic relationship with cops, he couldn’t get through school even though he’s demonstrably very intelligent, and he just doesn’t make the kind of first impression that sam does; people see sam as sweeter, kinder, more trustworthy, somebody who can be reasoned with. dean, by contrast, is usually treated with more wariness, more distrust. it’s dean who’s the primary target of the manhunt (before they fucking dropped that plotline lmao). all of this evidence taken together, sam, i think, is noticeably lighter than dean, maybe even conditionally white passing.

and this is an important part of how he’s trying to assimilate. he can feel that he’s ALMOST there, that he can ALMOST be the american moral christian ideal he’s been taught is more important than anything, if he can just contort himself into something that closely resembles a middle class christian white man. but that’s all he can ever do, is RESEMBLE that, no matter how hard he works. so he might be a token diversity point at his workplace or his school: of course he earned his place there, but he’s still aware that his position doesn’t come with the same ease of the middle class christian white man sitting next to him. so sam tries to make himself smaller, keeps himself clean shaved, his hair neat, doesn’t let himself tan too much, speaks softly and eloquently, represses his anger, doesn’t talk about his family, dates white girls, has unthreatening career aspirations, tries so so so so so hard to be a good christian because maybe, he thinks, someday he’ll wake up and he won’t feel like he’s wrapped in cellophane, separated by something clear but strong from the culture he’s trying to earn a place in. maybe he’ll feel one day that he’s earned his place, that he’s just the same as everybody around him, that he won’t have this unspoken but obvious difference to him that follows him everywhere. he thinks maybe he’ll be able to separate himself entirely from monstrousness, that one day he’ll pray and it won’t feel like begging to be somebody else.

but when dean comes for him. slowly but surely, he starts to realize that there never has been and never will be a place for him in this american white supremacist christian culture, and the cracks start to appear. he realizes that he’s never really felt at home anywhere, that the roots he’d tried so hard to put down were all wrapped in cellophane too, and after jess’s death, its the easiest thing in the world to pull those roots up because he never belonged there anyway. he starts getting angrier, stops caring who hears him yell. he stops repressing the powers that he’s been hiding from himself for as long as he can remember. very slowly, he looks this fact straight in the face: he is a monstrous Other, and he will never be anything else. he’s always been more self aware than dean, but it doesn’t help him now. he becomes angrier and more desperate all at once, pushing dean away and pulling him closer at the same time, praying more vehemently and still using his powers more often, letting himself become scarier looking and still sweet talking cops. he’s in this permanent state of conflict, because it’s virtually impossible for him to realize that the value system he’s had such faith in his entire life is false and cruel, so when he finds that he’s permanently locked outside of it, it doesn’t help him, it only convinces him that he’s a monster.

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

I would agree with the other person who said that j+p had a thing going on but Paul was more detached from it than John was. In my own analysis (all for fun of course) I would think that that’s how it went but Paul had more internalized homophobia than John did and wanted to detach himself as a way of protecting soemthing about himself. John didn’t have those hang ups and got annoyed/hurt by Paul because of it. A lot of Paul’s songs that could be about/to John all sound steeped in regret and longing because he regretted how he handled things and because he was too late to fix it.

This is just me and it’s all for fun but what do you think?

Id probably agree that John was more comfortable with his sexuality in later life then Paul was (assuming Paul is bi, and I think its important to note that im only referring to him as bi here hypothetically and only for speculative purposes; its okay to speculate, but also he identifies as straight and I think it is always crucial that we respect that <3) (<<< not having a go at anyone there btw, just wanted to make a quick note of it y'know).

Johns a bit of dilemma, because it seems he was simultaneously secure in his position as an outsider and a misfit, but also deeply, deeply insecure of it. I think there was always a form of alienation underpinning John throughout his entire lifetime (but maybe thats just projection lol). Whereas Paul I feel like didn't experience the same sort of alienation John did - im sure Paul felt a bit unique and stuff y'know, and im not saying he has no insecurities, but with Paul (presumably) being a much more stable, headstrong and confident person (because he appears to have had a more loving and stable upbringing) I think he's always sort of known he can fit in with people; always been a bit more of an extrovert maybe (?).

I think possibly another thing to note is that Paul did come from a more working-class background then John, and so I think that that is largely why he has always had this compulsion to maintain some of that 'average bloke' spirit in him - which I don't think is necessarily a bad thing; like I think its great that Paul tried to ensure his kids didnt grow up spoilt and materialistic etc. But I guess having that security of always having been a relatively normal person, as well as having this desire to remain a bit of an ‘average joe’ (again, obviously Paul is very special, but I just mean normal in the sense that he's appears to have always been friendly and likeable and able to relate to other people etc.) maybe makes coming to terms with any homosexual urges more difficult. Paul appears to be comfortable with his sexuality (eg. When Howard Stern asked him something like "have you had any gay experiences?", Paul didn't react all, "ewwwww no!!!!" instead he just reacts like a regular fuckin' human being, saying something like, "I haven't actually, no"). But I suppose my point might be more about if Paul does have internalised homophobia, it might not be to the extent that he feels he has to portray himself as this hyper-masculine caricature or anything, but more so that he wouldn't have the confidence to step so far out of the social norms as to enter a gay relationship. Like I think Paul kind of likes having this balance between being a very unique individual, but also being a very normal, average bloke y'know.

John on the other hand, I get the sense he was sort of more okay with his sexuality because he already understood that he doesn't fit in. Like I think at some point he realised there is this alienation that is just never gonna leave him, so he might as well sort of embrace those eccentricities rather then fight them (but that doesn’t mean I think he became a confident person or anything; people can embrace their eccentric nature outwardly but still have a deep self-loathing within them).

And so if they did have a casual fling and John wanted more, it does feel like it would make sense for Paul to want to keep it casual. He's okay with his sexuality to the extent that he doesn't overreact if someone questions it, he's supportive of gay people and he's not even concerned about platonically kissing another man (see the video of him giving Elton John a friendly kiss) - and I think, whether he's straight or bi, its great that he's comfortable with all of this - but if he had had a further gay experience with John, I think he wouldn't have taken it into a full-fledged relationship, because I think he wanted a wife and kids, because he does enjoy conventionality to a large extent. Whereas John I think wasn't really looking for a wife and kids and stuff (I mean he already had Cyn and Jules, and it doesn't seem like he was that interested in living a particularly domestic lifestyle y'know).

PS what songs are you thinking about with the last part? Ive got a few ideas of the type I think you're on about, but it might make it easier for me to address and analyse them directly <3

[meruz]

replying to some asks - lots of weird preachy art advice. just trying to cram every sophomore year art school lecture into my blog

ANON, PLEASE SEND ME A PICTURE OF THIS..........................

glad to hear it!!!! I always love to see sketches from other artists but somehow when I post mine I feel like it’s just...cheap? like its not ““Real content”““ LOL... but if even one person likes to see it thats all I need to hear

very interesting question, thank you for being specific because that makes it a lot easier to answer. This is going to kind of sound like what every other artist tells you but

1) Go to figure drawing classes/sessions! I know we’re in the middle of a pandemic right now but actually that might even make it easier to find because a lot of figure drawing sessions are being held online atm! Anyways, I cannot possibly overemphasize the importance or studying the human form from life. It’s something that artists spend their whole lives studying and still learn new things about. Nude figure sessions are far preferred over clothed ones especially for beginners but, really, any practice from life helps. Whenever you draw from observation, make sure to step back and really look at your model and then your drawing. What discrepancies do you see, what feels like its missing, where do you think you can improve, etc etc. developing a critical eye is crucial.

I think figure drawing classes are the best method by far but theres plenty of other ways to get the practice in. I do a lot of cafe drawing and drawing on public transport, personally. Drawing from life is vastly preferred over drawing from photo reference because the human body is a living thing and conveying it properly means understanding 3D space and gesture and movement, all things that are easier to perceive irl. A lot of artists draw from dance videos on youtube to at least get the idea of movement even if it’s ultimately from a 2D screen. Recently, I’ve been drawing a lot from rock climbing videos on youtube!

because they’re climbing you actually get a lot of interesting angles LOL... good study of pose-to-pose relationships too, actually..

2) Practice dynamically. If you can develop the eye to figure out where your drawings are lacking, you can practice with those weaknesses in mind. If you realize you don’t really understand the structure of a foot or the back of the head or the back when it’s arched, look up references and practice those things specifically. Sometimes it’s not in the specifics but the general - if you realize you have a hard time proportioning out the figure, draw guides for yourself and set goals to draw proportions before details. Stuff like that.

3) Box Trick. This is just the simplest way to get a set of guidelines down for perspective on the human body the same way you put down guidelines to figure out where the eyes sit on the head LOL.

but here’s something to keep in mind regardless: perspective is a game. You’re tricking the eye into thinking something is close or far when actually its just sitting on the same 2D plane as everything else. You can do the math and make all the guides you want but at the end of the day its either going to look convincing or its not. And being convincing is a lot less about being accurate and a lot more about confidently selling your point. So don’t sweat the calculations of proportions, make hands or heads or feet as big as you feel is right and trust your eye and your gut over your brain.

Hi, yeah sure go ahead! As long as you link+credit me, I don’t mind my work being used for non-profit purposes. Especially fanart like.. I don’t even own these characters LOL. Just, if you edit my art, please don’t use it to perpetuate like...hate speech or even edgy politics... unless they are edgy politics I have explicitly endorsed LOL. If you’re ever on the fence abt it feel free to ask, of course!

TYSSMMM yeah ideally I guess its just ? group therapy LOL? I feel like actually Ryuji, Akechi, and Haru are characters we see very rarely interact and when they do they seem very alienated by each other?? So I think it would actually be great for them to chat LOL they have a lot in common especially the fondness for direct action.

VERY NICE THINGS TO SAY TYSMMMMMMMMMM

I guess since I was old enough to hold a crayon? Doesn’t every kid draw? 

But if you mean when I started seriously drawing and trying to get better.. I guess I started carrying a sketchbook when I was 12-13 years old and I’m turning 25 in a couple days so it’s been 12-13 years about. I don’t believe that years have any huge bearing on art progress though. You can be drawing for 50 years without ever deepening or widening your skill set, if you stick to the same old patterns day in and day out. Similarly an artist who is proactive with learning new skills and targeting their weaknesses can improve in leaps and bounds in a matter of weeks.

The style I currently use for painting, I only really started using.... about 3 years ago? When I was a senior in college.

but i wouldn’t say I’ve “““mastered”““ it and I doubt I really ever will because I don’t think that’s the point... I’m constantly changing things depending on how I want a painting to look or the way I want it to feel... or how I feel on any given day LOL

the thing about art style is I don’t think it’s actually something you have to work on or “find”. An artist should change the way they draw depending on the subjects or techniques they want to explore. If I wanted to convey comedy, I’d draw characters differently from how I would if I wanted to portray drama. And if I wanted to focus on lighting I’d paint differently from how I would if I wanted to focus on the details of the human form. When I was drawing a lot of digimon fanart earlier this year I drew differently from how I’m drawing now while putting out a lot of persona 5 fanart LOL - even when the content is similar the characters have different gestures and different tone that I convey through any number of things, proportion, rendering, edge definition, color range, etc etc.

as you experiment with techniques and approaches undoubtedly there’ll be some you’re naturally better at or more interested in than others. and i think that’s what a person’s “art style” really is, the stuff that you gravitate to and come back to over and over even as you transform and explore.

not sure if that makes sense but.. that’s my two cents, anyway.

yea hit me uppp dude isellhotdogs@gmail.com lmk what you want and I’ll give you a quote

[honexjams]

just was watching an ftm tiktok compilation that featured kalvin garrah and it got me heated, i have a LOT to say about him and his influence but i will condense it to this:

all trans people have an era of discovery and experimentation, for some that includes experimenting with pronouns online to see what theyre comfortable with. the rise in people IDing with they/them or they/she or they/he is infinitely more to do with more trans kids feeling comfortable to experiment than it is with unconcerned cis people wanting clout. (i know some cis people do ID as lgbt for attention, i grew up in a very depressed/depressing and drug-laden small town where its not unheard of for people, especially young people, to go to strange lengths for relief, comfort, and entertainment. this small amount does not tend to go through the worst of the treatment i had as a young, binary trans person in this parish, which alone will garuntee those folks didnt ID this way 'for funzies' very long)

writing off all of these young people as simply wanting attention is harmful to both nonbinary people directly and binary trans people who are young and trying to figure out what theyre comfortable with.

i can say for myself personally, that i am very sensitive so if the trans online sphere was as critical in 2012 as it is today, it probably wouldve thrown a wrench in my personal process of understanding my feelings and realizing the transphobic responses i got from coming out were just that and not the absolute truth. which wouldve in turn left me IDing as non-binary or nothing at all online for a longer time because i wouldve been more concerned with my fear of seeming like i wanted attention online than actually trying to nut up and come out at school or do anything i needed to do irl for my comfort.

i first listed my pronouns on a writing site thats mostly barren last i checked, and what i put was "he/him/they/them" because i was at a place where i was caught between what i felt was true about myself, and having just come out to my mother as an 11-year-old and her not believing me.

demonizing non binary pronouns and identities will 100% effect this generation of trans kids because for those with no support, they will turn to the internet. when both their real life and the online spaces they go to are highly critical and unaccepting of nonbinary identities, any kid less than 100% sure theyre a binary trans person will suffer at the very least an extended period of confusion and denial, and at worst never fully come to grips with who they are.

ive always felt really strongly about this but i feel as i hit the 10 year mark of knowing i was trans (and still being pretty young at 20yo) its a good time to express these feelings a little more formally than i tend to. especially because i fit into the like, Ideal Trans Experience of knowing i was a boy at a young age (i mentioned finding trans people at 11 but i have Very early memories of telling other kids on the playground that 'i was born a boy who looked like a girl so my parents raised me as a girl' which is dummy accurate to a trans experience often shown in media yk).

(this next paragraph is all personal anecdotes which are important to my point but if you dont care feel free to skip over it)

I do very much believe and accept nonbinary people as truth because i can understand how someone can feel like something that isnt understandable to the society they grew up in because that was my experience as an lgbt person in the deep south. I remember hearing my mom at a local parade (a Very Community-Focused thing where i grew up), see two teen girls holding hands walking down the street and saying "theyre a little young for that, huh?" to a friend, I remember asking her what 'gay' meant as a kid bc ofc i heard it at school and just wanted padding for if i ever said it out loud because as i knew it, wasnt a curse word but it was Bad Word (bc i knew from hearing it around school that it was a Bad Word)i wanted to know what it meant, she said "some boys date boys, its not really a Good lifestyle, but sometimes they do it". Ive heard many transmedicalists say 'how can you have dysphoria for nothing?' as in how can someone be agender. I am a binary trans man in a committed relationship with another man and I am frankly bewildered as to how a binary trans person can believe such a thing as 'the only genders that exist are ones i know about, even after discovering my own queerness' because I can perfectly understand the correlation between binary and nonbinary trans people. For me, growing up as a teenager in the south in the 2010s, gays were vaguely accepted but still ostrisized, and in school i had a classmate who i knew is a binary trans man because i still know him now, and I, my insecure, weak, self concious self emailed my teachers about my pronouns and name while he was still being called his birthname in class and my cousin, who sat in front of me next to him (thats how small a fown this is) was the only person who called him his chosen name, which was how i figured he was like me.

I personally dont want bottom surgery even tho i Fully identify as a binary male, I simply came to the understanding that a 'cis penis' is not something I will ever have so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ may aswell get used to the things i can tolerate, unlike my chest and 'feminine' features that T has changed.

Long story short if You are a binary trans person who doesn't get what the whole nonbinary thing is all about, simply try describing your own trans experience as if you were really not a boy or girl. As if you really, through your deepest soul-searching, came up with the fact that you simply dont identify with neither male nor female.

Back to the original point of binary trans people in a self descovery phase, if You are a binary trans person? try to remember the first time you felt really invalidated in a way that truly struck you as like, a direct attack on how you feel (like how those depressing 'relatable posts' do), did you ever feel like if that was something you experienced in a crucial part of your discovery period that it wouldve hurt a lot? maybe even to the point where it surpressed how you felt about yourself? All i want from the trans community is to not let anyone else feel that way. I truly do fear for young trans people and how this exclusive environment stunts them.

[accioromione]

Book Analysis.....Relationship development (Ron + Hermione)

We’ll start from book 1 of course 

“Oh, are you doing magic? Let’s see it, then.”

She sat down. Ron looked taken aback. “Er — all right.” He cleared his throat.

“Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow.”

He waved his wand, but nothing happened. Scabbers stayed gray and fast asleep. “Are you sure that’s a real spell?” said the girl. “Well, it’s not very good, is it? I’ve tried a few simple spells just for practice and it’s all worked for me. I’ve learned all our course books by heart, of course.”

So this obviously isn’t a love at first sight type of thing (which it shouldn’t be...they’re only 11). And she’s a little arrogant ....

“All right – I only came in here because people outside are behaving very childishly, racing up and down the corridors,” said Hermione in a sniffly voice. “And you’ve got dirt on your nose, by the way, did you know?” - Chapter 6, U.S. 110

It’s interesting to see how this develops because this introduction serves to introduce a character who comes across as bratty and annoying 

Ron, at the next table, wasn’t having much more luck.

“Wingardium Leviosa!” he shouted, waving his long arms like a windmill. “You’re saying it wrong.” Harry heard Hermione snap. “It’s Wing-gar-dium Levi-o-sa, make the ‘gar’ nice and long.” - Chapter 10, U.S. 171

In a literary perspective I absolutely love how this starts off. Ron and Harry kind of immediately connect..they’re both likeable...But with Hermione it’s like so unexpected that they would even become friends...

“I hope you’re pleased with yourselves. We could have been all killed — or worse, expelled.” 

So yeah we get an idea as Hermione being this annoying character who’s basically getting in the way of Harry and Rons fun ..but then the troll part comes along... 

“If they hadn't found me, I'd be dead now. Harry stuck his wand up its nose and Ron knocked it out with its own club. They didn't have time to come and fetch anyone. It was about to finish me off when they arrived." Harry and Ron tried to look as though this story wasn't news to them. "Well- in that case..." said Professor McGonagall, staring at the three of them, "Miss Granger, you foolish girl, how could you think of tackling a mountain troll on your own?" Hermione hung her head. Harry was speechless. Hermione was the last person to do anything against the rules, and here she was, pretending she had, to get them out of trouble. It was as if Snape had started handing out sweets. "Miss Granger, five points will be taken from Gryffindor for this," said Professor McGonagall. "I'm very disappointed in you. If you're not hurt at all, you'd better get off to Gryffindor tower. Students are finishing the feast in their houses." Hermione left. Professor McGonagall turned to Harry and Ron. "Well, I still say you were lucky, but not many first years could have taken on a full-grown mountain troll. You each win Gryffindor five points. Professor Dumbledore will be informed of this. You may go." They hurried out of the chamber and didn't speak at all until they had climbed two floors up. It was a relief to be away from the smell of the troll, quite apart from anything else. "We should have gotten more than ten points," Ron grumbled. "Five, you mean, once she's taken off Hermione's." "Good of her to get us out of trouble like that," Ron admitted. "Mind you, we did save her." "She might not have needed saving if we hadn't locked the thing in with her," Harry reminded him. They had reached the portrait of the Fat Lady. "Pig snout," they said and entered. The common room was packed and noisy. Everyone was eating the food that had been sent up. Hermione, however, stood alone by the door, waiting for them. There was a very embarrassed pause. Then, none of them looking at each other, they all said "Thanks," and hurried off to get plates. But from that moment on, Hermione Granger became their friend. There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.” ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

And then she nags them about the adventures but we see the growth when she goes with them to get the stone ... so yeah they become friends and that’s that...

and of course 

Hermione: "Devil’s Snare, Devil’s Snare … what did Professor Sprout say? — it likes the dark and the damp —"Harry: "So light a fire!"Hermione: "Yes — of course — but there’s no wood!"Ron: "HAVE YOU GONE MAD? ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT?"

Basically showing how all of them were necessary and played a part in saving the day, also a ditzy Hermione moment with Ron stepping up..I really like it... because it shows that on an intellectual level they can converse and debate well as well as take each-other seriously

Now onto chamber of secrets 

Harry knew at once that Malfoy had said something really bad because there was an instant uproar at his words. Flint had to dive in front of Malfoy to stop Fred and George jumping on him. Alicia shrieked, "How dare you!”, and Ron plunged his hand into his robes, pulling out his wand, yelling, “You’ll pay for that one, Malfoy!” and pointed it furiously under Flint’s arm at Malfoy’s face. A loud bang echoed around the stadium and a jet of green light shot out of the wrong end of Ron’s wand, hitting him in the stomach and sending him reeling backward onto the grass. “Ron! Ron! Are you all right?” squealed Hermione. Ron opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead he gave an almighty belch and several slugs dribbled out of his mouth onto his lap. -Chapter 7, U.S. 112-113

So they’re officially friends and Ron is obviously now protective of Hermione ...This is not out of character for him as we see just how quick Ron is to stand up for people close to him..He is Gryffindor after all 

I - don’t - like - spiders,” said Ron tensely. “I never knew that,” said Hermione, looking at Ron in surprise. “You’ve used spiders in Potions loads of times…” “I don’t mind them dead,” said Ron, who was carefully looking anywhere but at the window. “I just don’t like the way they move…” Hermione giggled. “It’s not funny,” said Ron, fiercely. “If you must know, when I was three, Fred turned my - my teddy bear into a great big filthy spider because I broke his toy broomstick…. You wouldn’t like them either if you’d been holding your bear and suddenly it had too many legs and…” He broke off, shuddering. Hermione was obviously still trying not to laugh. - Chapter 9, U.S. 154

More friendship...the audience now gets see a more relaxed side of Hermione now ...Philosophers stone we saw this very serious- and by the rules Hermione up until she meets Harry and Ron...their influence on her has already peaked its way...and has made her character develop..so now she can take part in light hearted conversations instead of just being someone who uses her wit to help advance in the plot 

And now we have Ron saying stuff like 

“That’s what Hermione does. When in doubt, go to the library.” 

I really like this quote because it shows just how close they’ve become as friends..like yep thats Hermione..I know her well so like this is her typical behaviour 

Now we see something taking a little turn.... 

Harry: "What’ve we got this afternoon?"Hermione: "Defense Against the Dark Arts."Ron: "Why have you outlined all Lockhart’s lessons in little hearts?"―Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley

So after this it's a good thing to note that it really is ALWAYS Ron to point out things with Hermione..never Harry ...and he mentions Lockhart a lot... 

“What’s that?” asked Harry, pointing to something gold sticking out from under Hermione’s pillow. “‘Just a Get Well card,” said Hermione hastily, trying to poke it out of sight, but Ron was too quick for her. He pulled it out, flicked it open and read aloud: ‘To Miss Granger, wishing you a speedy recovery, from your concerned teacher, Professor Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League and five times winner of Witch Weekly’s Most-Charming-Smile Award.’ Ron looked up at Hermione, disgusted. “You sleep with this under your pillow?”

So Ron is clearly paying more attention / cares more than Harry does and whatnot 

"Bet you five Galleons the next Mudblood dies. Pity it wasn't Granger-" The bell rang at that moment, which was lucky; at Malfoy's last words, Ron had leapt off his stool, and in the scramble to collect bags and books, his attempts to reach Malfoy went unnoticed. "Let me at him," Ron growled as Harry and Dean hung onto his arms. "I don't care, I don't need my wand, I'm going to kill him with my bare hands-"

So we see that Ron is VERY defensive over Hermione ....it was not Harry to leap up...or Dean..or anyone else..it was Ron 

Harry scrawled to Ron: Let's do it tonight. Ron read the message, swallowed hard, and looked sideways at the empty seat usually filled by Hermione. The sight seemed to stiffen his resolve, and he nodded. "Tonight, we will be able to revive those people who have been petrified.." There was an explosion of cheering... Ron was looking happier than he'd looked in days. "Wonder if she did see the attacker, though?" said Ron, looking sadly at Hermione's rigid face. "You will find that Madam Pomfrey is still awake. She's just giving out Mandrake juice - I daresay the basilisk's victims will be waking up at any moment." "So Hermione's okay!" said Ron brightly.

So all of these clearly show that Ron clearly has a soft spot for Hermione...you can argue that this is not romantic (some speculate it is) but no one can argue that he clearly deeply cares about Hermione

Now we have POA...(ENTERING TEENS UH-OH)

Mum and dad gave me some money to get myself an early birthday present." "How about a nice book?" said Ron innocently.

Playful banter...I think the teasing is cute and its moments like these that are crucial in their developing crushes .. I think Ron used to find Hermione’s know-it-allness annoying but then after meeting her and seeing that she’s basically a dork....finds it endearing...basically growing up with Percy he thought well Hermione is a freaking Percy know it all...but then after spending time with her he realized she really is just a loser who genuinely enjoys reading and isn’t doing it for status or to look down at other people....a

[incident with Malfoy insulting Hagrid followed by Hermione slapping him] "Hermione!" said Ron again, sounding both stunned and impressed. "We're due in charms," said Ron, still goggling at Hermione

I think this was a huge moment that made Ron start to like Hermione...he see  her brave, bad ass and passionate side...Someone like Ron...who is Gryffindor through and through really likes that side of her ....and it further shows the character development we see from Hermione

"Hermione, I don't know what's gotten into you lately!" said Ron, astounded. "First you hit Malfoy, then you walk out on Professor Trelawny-" Hermione looked rather flattered. So yeah here we have the developing crush... 

Seconds later, Hermione slithered down beside him. "Where's Ron?" she whispered in a terrified voice.

So it’s obvious that they care a lot about eachother.. originally we saw Ron care about Hermione (because she was the victim in COS, but now we see it’s not one sided) 

“Hermione,” said Ron, frowning as he looked over her shoulder, “they’ve messed up your schedule. Look - they’ve got you down for about ten subjects a day. There isn’t enough time.” “I’ll manage. I’ve fixed it all with Professor McGonagall.” “But look,” said Ron, laughing, “see this morning? Nine o'clock, Divination. And underneath, nine o'clock, Muggle Studies. And” - Ron leaned closer to her schedule, disbelieving - “look - underneath that, Arithmancy, nine o'clock. I mean, I know you’re good, Hermione, but no one’s that good. How’re you supposed to be in three classes at once?” “Don’t be silly,” said Hermione shortly. “Of course I won’t be in three classes at once.” “Well, then -” “Pass the marmalade,” said Hermione. “But -” “Oh, Ron, what’s it to you if my schedule’s a bit full?” Hermione snapped. “I told you, I’ve fixed it all with Professor McGonagall.”-Chapter 6, U.S. 98

This is nothing new, so as you see 

Ron’s always the one to notice Hermione’s things..be that Lockhart..her schedule...her writing to Viktor..her being in a mood...her going missing..he’s always the one who’s giving the dialogue about Hermione....so it shows they have a special kind of connection... 

"Honestly, am I the only person who's ever bothered to read Hogwarts, a History?" said Hermione crossly to Harry and Ron. "Probably," said Ron. "Why?"

Moments like these continuing to playful banter between them

"If Snape's teaching Defense against the Dark Arts again I'm skiving off," said Ron as they headed towards Lupin's classroom after lunch. "Check who's in there, Hermione." Hermione peered around the classroom door. "It's okay!" Professor Lupin was back at work.

Love this because it shows how Hermione was like going to skip with Ron lol...I think it’s because he got detention last time for defending him or else she would not have let it slide 

A shower of brilliantly colored sweets fell into Harry’s lap. It was dusk, and Ron and Hermione had just turned up in the common room, pink-faced from the cold wind and looking as though they’d had the time of their lives. -Chapter 8, U.S. 157

So now we witness that Harry is not a key in them being able to be together..and Ron and Hermione alone are able to have a good time as they are genuine friends 

and then of course we have when scammers goes missing..

"Well, look at it logically," said Hermione, turning to the rest of the group. "I mean, Binky didn't even die today, did he? Lavender just got the news today -" Lavender wailed loudly. "- and she can't have been dreading it, because it's come as a real shock -" "Don't mind Hermione, Lavender," said Ron loudly, "she doesn't think other people's pets matter very much."- Chapter 8, U.S. 149

this is important...Hermione ..although has had character growth..is still Hermione Granger..a very logical..by the book person...if you go on further in the books you notice that Hermione..although kind..and caring..and meaning well...tends to not offer much emotional support to people when she thinks of logical answers...not just to Ron but see in this case Lavender..she does it to Hagrid..and to Harry .. I think this is one of her character flaws because well imagine you’re upset about something and really just want someone to be like ‘hey yeah you’re right this sucks’ instead you get ‘well....’ and and logical explanation ..she admits this back in book 1- books and cleverness.....Ron is actually a lot better than her in this sense.

Anyway..." She glanced over at Ron too. "He doesn't want me to join in." There was no arguing with this, as Ron chose that moment to say loudly, "If Scabbers hadn't been eaten, he could have had some of those Fudge Flies. He used to really like them -" Hermione burst into tears. Before Harry could say or doing anything, she tucked the enormous book under her arm, and, still sobbing, ran toward the staircase to the girls' dormitories and out of sight. "Can't you give her a break?" Harry asked Ron quietly. "No," said Ron flatly. ""If she just acted like she was sorry - but she'll never admit she's wrong, Hermione. She's still acting like Scabbers has gone on vacation or something."-Chapter 13, U.S. 264

I feel like Ron never got enough credit for being as patient and chill as he was. We know Ron can be hot tempered when it comes to defending his friends..but when it actually comes to his friends he is very forgiving and easy going. I just want to point out that in this same book, Harry refused to talk to Hermione the second he found out she got his broom confiscated. Ron on the other hand, was still talking to Hermione even when he thought scabbers was eaten only until she refused to apologize..at that moment I think Ron was frustrated with her lack of empathy..and in a way I think it was to teach her a lesson....here we even see him admitting to Harry that he just wanted her to admit she was wrong or just act sorry... Hermione...instead of thinking of a possibility that she might be wrong just begins to cry...so I also think moments like these are important because it contributes to Hermione’s character growth and shows how Ron.. as her friend..

Malfoy's dad frightened the Committee into it," said Hermione, wiping her eyes. "You know what he's like. They're a bunch of doddery old fools, and they were scared. There'll be an appeal, though, there always is. Only I can't see any hope... Nothing will have changed."

"Yeah, it will," said Ron fiercely. "You won't have to do all the work alone this time, Hermione. I'll help." "Oh, Ron!" Hermione flung her arms around Ron's neck and broke down completely. Ron, looking quite terrified, patted her very awkwardly on the top of the head. Finally, Hermione drew away. "Ron, I'm really, really sorry about Scabbers...," she sobbed. "Oh - well - he was old," said Ron, looking thoroughly relieved that she had let go of him. "And he was a bit useless. You never know, Mum and Dad might get me an owl now." -Chapter 15, U.S. 292

So now we have Ron..who has put his own feelings aside to help for the greater good. A lot of people tend to talk about Ron being ‘immature’ I actually argue that no one in the trio is immature. A character I would consider immature would be a character like Peeves ..when it comes to Harry Potter characters a lot of them are mature ...and the most mature in my opinion are the trio...we always see them knowing when to be serious/ or put other matter asides when they are put in situations ..I actually feel sorry for them in the sense that I don’t think they ever truly got to be kids..But anyways this greatly shows how mature Ron is capable of being...He realizes that Hagrid is much more important than his fight with Hermione..and when Hermione finally apologizes he’s not only quick to forgive...but he tries to console her in a way that says ‘oh its not a big deal’ when we know he did truly care for the Rat. At a maturity level I actually say that Ron and Hermione are equally as mature...

ok so lets move on... 

"Granger, they're after Muggles," said Malfoy, grinning maliciously. "If you think they can't spot a Mudblood, stay where you are." "You watch your mouth!" shouted Ron. Everybody present knew that "Mudblood" was a very offensive term for a witch or wizard of Muggle parentage. "Never mind, Ron," said Hermione quickly, seizing Ron's arm to restrain him as he took a step toward Malfoy.- Chapter 9, U.S. 122

So more proof that Ron’s care for Hermione is only growing with time 

“… Dad could’ve got a promotion any time… he just likes it where he is…” “Of course he does,” said Hermone quietly. “Don’t let Malfoy get to you, Ron-” -Chapter 11, U.S. 169

So we see some character development here..and Ron is a huge factor for this...seeing back in POA after the whole ordeal...Hermione did not have much of a sensitive side..but here we see a more emotionally mature Hermione 

"You're eating again, I notice," said Ron, watching Hermione adding liberal amounts of jam to her toast too. "I've decided there are better ways of making a stand about elf rights," said Hermione haughtily. "Yeah... and you were hungry," said Ron, grinning.- Chapter 13, U.S. 194

It is endearing that Ron was concerned about her not eating...and again he is always the one to pay attention to what Hermione is doing.this is playful and he’s grinning because we have an instant where Hermione is not going along with what she originally planned...admitting she was wrong in her attempts...and also because he’s relieved to see her eating...also character growth...Hermione admits (although hautingly) that her original attempt was wrong...and this is GOOD for her....I think it’s also a moment like this that Ron likes to see ...and contributes to his growing like for Hermione 

"That idiot, Hogwarts champion?" said Ron as they pushed their way through the chattering crowd toward the staircase. "He's not an idiot. You just don't like him because he beat Gryffindor at Quidditch," said Hermione. "I've heard he's a really good student - and he's a prefect." She spoke as though this settled the matter. "You only like him because he's handsome," said Ron scathingly. "Excuse me, I don't like people just because they're handsome!" said Hermione indignantly Ron gave a loud false cough, which sounded oddly like "Lockhart!" -Chapter 15, U.S. 236

So we start to see Ron become a bit jealous...I also think Ron is so surprised that Hermione can be stereotypically girly because it’s just not the Hermione he is used to seeing...but this makes him realize that well..she is in fact a girl.... and that he ..who already cares about her..and finds her endearing...realizes that she is not just another Harry to him 

Jets of light shot from both wands, hit each other in midair, and ricocheted off at angles - Harry's hit Goyle in the face, and Malfoy's hit Hermione. Goyle bellowed and put his hands to his nose, where great ugly boils were springing up - Hermione, whimpering in panic, was clutching her mouth.

"Hermione!" Ron had hurried forward to see what was wrong with her; Harry turned and saw Ron dragging Hermione's hand away from her face. It wasn't a pretty sight. Hermione's front teeth - already larger than average - were now growing at an alarming rate; she was looking more and more like a beaver as her teeth elongated, past her bottom lip, toward her chin - panic-stricken, she felt them and let out a terrified cry. -Chapter 18, U.S. 299

Ron is the one to go check on Hermione.. and this is always the case 

Hermione, however, leaned against the Owlery wall, folded her arms, and frowned at Ron. "Harry's got a long way to go before he finishes this tournament," she said seriously. "If that was the first task, I hate to think what's coming next." "Right little ray of sunshine, aren't you?" said Ron. -Chapter 21, U.S. 364

Very cute.....and we see just how playful their friendship can be 

"All the good-looking ones taken, Ron?" said Hermione, loftily. "Eloise Midgen starting to look quite pretty now, isn't she? Well, I'm sure you'll find someone somewhere who'll have you."

But Ron was staring at Hermione as though suddenly seeing her in a whole new light. "Hermione, Neville's right - you are a girl..." "Oh well spotted," she said acidly. "Well - can't you come with one of us?" "No, I can't," snapped Hermione. "Oh come on," he said impatiently, "we need partners, we're going to look really stupid if we haven't got any, everyone else has..." "I can't come with you," said Hermione, now blushing, "because I'm already going with someone." "No, you're not!" said Ron. "You just said that to get rid of Neville!" "Oh did I?" said Hermione, and her eyes flashed dangerously. "Just because it's taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn't mean no one else spotted I'm a girl!" Ron stared at her. Then he grinned again. "Okay, okay, we know you're a girl," he said. "That do? Will you come now?" "I've already told you!" Hermione said very angrily. "I'm going with someone else!" And she stormed off toward the girls' dormitories again. "She's lying," said Ron flatly, watching her go. -Chapter 22, U.S. 400

Here we have something I think is skipped over a lot. Everyone thinks that this is basically Ron insulting Hermione...but pay attention because Ron is basically admitting he thinks Hermione is an attractive girl. This whole ordeal is because he wanted to take out a good looking girl..so when he realizes Hermione is right there. He’s okay with Hermione going with either Harry or him because she’s good looking in his eyes. (you can find people good looking and not be in love with them right away) ...when Ron says ‘you’re not actually going with someone’ of course Hermione takes offence - but I think he didn't mean it in a way thats like ‘youre not good looking enough’ but more a ‘you’re Hermione and you dont focus on these things’ but Hermione ...who is indeed a girl...takes it personal...

"Hermione - who are you going to the ball with?" said Ron. He kept springing this question on her, hoping to startle her into a response by asking it when she least expected it. However, Hermione merely frowned and said, "I'm not telling you, you'll just make fun of me."-Chapter 23, U.S. 404

So now we see Ron is very interested with who Hermione is going with..this is PERFECT 14 year old behaviour ...Ron realizing that Hermione is ATTRACTIVE to other guys..and isnt just their friend.. makes him see her in a whole new light ..this is basically the moment you can be confident that Harry and Ron see Hermione in different ways...at this moment Harry is already attracted to another girl who is going to the ball with someone else..and does not seem to mind that Hermione is going with someone else...this shows that Harry really just see’s Hermione in a platonic matter...for Harry..going with Hermione would have meant he just had someone...but it doesnt bother him that she’s going with someone else..Ron on the other hand is clearly bothered with this fact 

"Hermione," said Ron, looking sideways at her, suddenly frowning, "your teeth..." "What about them?" she said. "Well, they're different... I've just noticed..." "Of course they are - did you expect me to keep those fangs Malfoy gave me?" "No, I mean, they're different to how they were before he put that hex on you... They're all... straight and - and normal-sized." Hermione suddenly smiled very mischievously, and Harry noticed it too: It was a very different smile from the one he remembered. -Chapter 23, U.S. 405

Ron..again..the first to notice things about her...Hermione has now become even more attractive ..This + the fact that she is another guys interest is making Ron be well...attracted to her... 

Hermione chose to watch Harry and the Weasleys' snowball fight rather than join in, and at five o'clock said she was going back upstairs to get ready for the ball.

"What, you need three hours?" said Ron, looking at her incredulously and paying for his lapse in concentration when a large snowball, thrown by George, hit him hard on the side of the head. "Who're you going with?" he yelled after Hermione, but she just waved and disappeared up the stone steps into the castle. -Chapter 23, U.S. 411

He has not given up asking..

"Padma's going to meet you in the entrance hall," she added to Ron. "Right," said Ron, looking around. "Where's Hermione?" -Chapter 23, U.S. 412

So according to Dean..Padma and Parvarti are pretty girls..but Harry (who is fixated on Cho) does not focus on this..and Ron..well we see now the girl who’s caught his eye...and it’s so evidently Hermione ..if it weren't for that...I think Harry and Ron would have had no problem with Padma and Parvarti going with them..but them liking two other people makes them sulky that they’re not going with who they really would like to go with.. .

Where is Hermione?" he said again. -Chapter 23, U.S. 413

So we see where Ron’s focus is..this is where I can say that Ron..100% has a crush on Hermione 

Ron was watching Hermione pass with narrowed eyes. -Chapter 23, U.S. 415

"How's it going?" Harry asked Ron, sitting down and opening a bottle of butterbeer. Ron didn't answer. He was glaring at Hermione and Krum, who were dancing nearby. -Chapter 23, U.S. 420

The jealousy is evident here...here we have Hermione..looking the prettiest she’s ever looked...along with a Ron who clearly likes her now...and he’s mad..he’s mad that it’s not him dancing with her...not only is it not him...but its Viktor Krum..one of his favourite quidditch players. Now some character analysis..Ron is insecure in himself and his abilities ..all his brothers..Harry Potter as his best friend... and Hermione well...he was always close with her...always saw her as someone who well...didn’t compare him to others..Hermione was a friend he had that he didn’t feel like for once in his life he had to prove himself too..yet here she is...looking pretty...and going to a dance with a famous quidditch player...he has to COMPETE once again...his confidence is once again shattered.. 

Hermione came over and sat down in Parvati's empty chair. She was a bit pink in the face from dancing. "Hi," said Harry. Ron didn't say anything. "It's hot, isn't it?" said Hermione, fanning herself with her hand. Viktor's just gone to get some drinks." Ron gave her a withering look. "Viktor?" he said. "Hasn't he asked you to call him Vicky yet?" Hermione looked at him in surprise. "What's up with you?" she said. "If you don't know," said Ron scathingly, "I'm not going to tell you." Hermione stared at him, then at Harry, who shrugged. "Ron, what -?" "He's from Durmstrang!" spat Ron. "He's competing against Harry! Against Hogwarts! You - you're -" Ron was obviously casting around for words strong enough to describe Hermione's crime. "fraternizing with the enemy, that's what you're doing!" Hermione's mouth fell open. "Don't be so stupid!" she said after a moment. "The enemy! Honestly - who was the one who was all excited when they saw him arrive? Who was the one who wanted his autograph? Who's got the model of him up in their dormitory?" Ron chose to ignore this. "I s'pose he asked you to come with him while you were both in the library?" "Yes, he did," said Hermione, the pink patches on her cheeks glowing more brightly. "So what?" "What happened - trying to get him to join spew, were you?" "No, I wasn't! If you really want to know, he - he said he'd been coming up to the library every day to try and talk to me, but he hadn't been able to pluck up the courage!" Hermione said this very quickly, and blushed so deeply that she was the same color as Parvati's robes. "Yeah, well - that's his story," said Ron nastily. "And what's that supposed to mean?" "Obvious, isn't it? He's Karkaroff's student, isn't he? He knows who you hang around with... He's just trying to get closer to Harry - get inside information on him - or get near enough to jinx him -" Hermione looked as though Ron had slapped her. When she spoke, her voice quivered. "For your information, he hasn't asked me one single thing about Harry, not one -" Ron changed tack at the speed of light. "Then he's hoping you'll help him find out what his egg means! I suppose you've been putting your heads together during those cozy little library sessions -" "I'd never help him work out that egg!" said Hermione, looking outraged. "Never. How could you say something like that - I want Harry to win the tournament, Harry knows that, don't you, Harry?" "You've got a funny way of showing it," sneered Ron. "The whole tournament's supposed to be about getting to know foreign wizards and making friends with them!" said Hermione hotly. "No it isn't!" shouted Ron. "It's about winning!" People were starting to stare at them. "Ron," said Harry quietly, "I haven't got a problem with Hermione coming with Krum -" But Ron ignored Harry too. "Why don't you go and find Vicky, he'll be wondering where you are," said Ron. "Don't call him Vicky!" Hermione jumped to her feet and stormed off across the dance floor, disappearing into the crowd. Ron watched her go with a mixture of anger and satisfaction on his face. -Chapter 23, U.S. 421

So I think this is more so Ron trying to make himself feel better...stages of grief..denial..he’s trying to convince himself that the only reason Viktor is with her is to get through Harry...because accepting that he yet again is not good enough is beginning to damage him... 

"Vare is Herm-own-ninny?" said a voice. Krum had just arrived at their table clutching two butterbeers. "No idea," said Ron mulishly, looking up at him. "Lost her, have you?" -Chapter 23, U.S. 423

So we know that 100% Ron is jealous here. 

He climbed into the common room and found Ron and Hermione having a blazing row. Standing ten feet apart, they were bellowing at each other, each scarlet in the face. "Well, if you don't like it, you know what the solution is, don't you?" yelled Hermione; her hair was coming down out of its elegant bun now, and her face was screwed up in anger. "Oh yeah?" Ron yelled back. "What's what?" "Next time there's a ball, ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort!" Ron mouthed soundlessly like a goldfish out of water as Hermione turned on her heel and stormed up the girls' staircase to bed. Ron turned to look at Harry. "Well," he sputtered, looking thunderstruck, "well - that just proves - completely missed the point -" Harry didn't say anything. He liked being back on speaking terms with Ron too much to speak his mind right now - but he somehow thought that Hermione had gotten the point much better than Ron had. -Chapter 23, U.S. 432

So here we have Hermione admitting that she does like Ron basically to the audience...and now she’s telling him..you take me for granted...yeah other guys find me interesting..other guys find me pretty... so you know what you could have she’s basically like ‘I am that bitch..so appreciate me’ I like this part of Hermione because I think it stemmed from her being offended that Ron thought she lied about being asked to the ball...which she obviously did not take as a ‘you’re Hermione you dont do these things’ and more as a ‘guys would not be interested in you’ and Ron is ..well...he doesnt know how to react because he has seen exactly that....he’s seen that she is not a last resort..and that guys actively seek her and that she is well..in fact..a catch for many guys..and she has basically just told him...you want me? you gotta work for me.. 

Ron and Hermione seemed to have reached an unspoken agreement not to discuss their argument. They were being quite friendly to each other, though oddly formal. -Chapter 24, U.S. 433

So Ron has realized he LIKE likes Hermione..and now he doesn't know what to do...Hermione basically let it slip out that she likes Ron too...and she also doesnt know what to do...so being friends...they decide to do what I think is very reflective of what two close friends would do if they realize they liked eachother.. they try to avoid it...but show tension in the process 

 "It's a lot colder where he comes from," said Hermione. "I supposed it feels quite warm to him." "Yeah, but there's still the giant squid," said Ron. He didn't sound anxious - if anything, he sounded hopeful. Hermione noticed his tone of voice and frowned. "He's really nice, you know," she said. "He's not at all like you'd think, coming from Durmstrang. He likes it much better here, he told me." Ron said nothing. He hadn't mentioned Viktor Krum since the ball, but Harry found a miniature arm under his bed on Boxing Day, which had looked very much as though it had been snapped off a small model figure wearing Bulgarian Quidditch robes. -Chapter 24, U.S. 444

So Hermione is revealing that she doesnt think Viktor is a bad guy..I think this is one of those things where she knows she doesnt truly like Viktor like that ..but he is the first guy to kind of just be romantically interested in her..and he IS a good guy...and Ron of course is furious..because now he knows he likes Hermione...and he’s known her first...and yet here she is..entertaining another guy...another guy who is ‘better’ than him 

Fleur bent down, kissed Harry twice on each cheek (he felt his face burn and wouldn't have been surprised if steam was coming out of his ears again), then said to Ron, "And you too - you 'elped -" "Yeah," said Ron, looking extremely hopeful, "yeah, a bit -" Fleur swooped down on him too and kissed him, Hermione looked simply furious [...] -Chapter 26, U.S. 506

This is so accurate..many people are like why is she mad when she's with Viktor..well because..in real life that’s what happens...jealousy is often the reason you realize you truly do like one person and that person only..have you ever been in the ‘talking stage’ with someone ..find out they're talking to other people and get mad? even though YOU are talking to other people...it’s strange right? well it’s very logical..you can talk to other people because deep down you know your feelings...you know you’re not attached to those other people..but when you see the person you like being with other people..it bothers you because..well you dont know how THEY feel about the other person..and to you it shows that they dont have interest in just you....I say this is 100% true to not only their age but human nature. And is one of the most realistic portrayals of how actual relationships in real life are and how they form.. 

"No, it's just... how did she know Viktor asked me to visit him over the summer?" Hermione blushed scarlet as she said this and determinedly avoided Ron's eyes. "What?" said Ron, dropping his pestle with a loud clunk. "He asked me right after he'd pulled me out of the lake," Hermione muttered. "After he'd got rid of his shark's head, Madam Pomfrey gave us both blankets and then he sort of pulled me away from the judges so they wouldn't hear, and he said, if I wasn't doing anything over the summer, would I like to -" "And what did you say?" said Ron, who had picked up his pestle and was grinding it on the desk, a good six inches from his bowl, because he was looking at Hermione. "And he did say he'd never felt the same way about anyone else," Hermione went on, going so red now that Harry could almost feel the heat coming from her, "but how could Rita Skeeter have heard him? She wasn't there... or was she? Maybe she has got an invisibility cloak; maybe she sneaked onto the grounds to watch the second task..." "And what did you say?" Ron repeated, pounding his pestle down so hard that it dented the desk. -Chapter 27, U.S. 514

Ron’s jealousy .....(also...Hermione looks like she is in part- trying to make Ron jealous..which again...is VERY true to how actual girls at this age act...) honestly really good writing...this is VERY 14 year old behaviour... 

We will see each uzzer again, I 'ope," said Fleur as she reached him, holding out her hand. "I am 'oping to get a job 'ere, to improve my Eenglish." "It's very good already," said Ron in a strangled sort of voice. Fleur smiled at him; Hermione scowled. -Chapter 37, U.S. 724

Again..we see that Ron and Hermione are equally interested in eachother.. 

Krum had come to say good-bye to Hermione. "Could I have a vord?" he asked her. "Oh... yes... all right," said Hermione, looking slightly flustered, and following Krum through the crowd and out of sight. "You'd better hurry up!" Ron called loudly after her. "The carriages'll be here in a minute!" He let Harry keep a watch for the carriages, however, and spent the next few minutes craning his neck over the crowd to try and see what Krum and Hermione might be up to. They returned quite soon. Ron stared at Hermione, but her face was quite impassive. -Chapter 37, U.S. 725

And this is the last glimpse we see in book 4.. okay onto book 5... 

 The door banged open. Hermione came tearing into the room, her cheeks flushed and her hair flying. There was an envelope in her hand. “Did you - did you get it?” She spotted the badge in Harry’s hand and let out a shriek. “I knew it!” she said excitedly, brandishing her letter. “Me too, Harry, me too!” “No,” said Harry quickly, pushing the badge back into Ron’s hand. “It’s Ron, not me.” “It - what?” “Ron’s prefect, no me,” Harry said. “Ron?” said Hermione, her jaw dropping. “But… are you sure? I mean -” She turned red as Ron looked around at her with a defiant expression on his face. “It’s my name on the letter,” he said. “I…” said Hermione, looking thoroughly bewildered. “I… well… wow! Well done, Ron! That’s really -” “Unexpected,” said George, nodding. “No,” said Hermione, blushing harder than ever, “no, it’s not… Ron’s done loads of… he’s really…” -Chapter 9, U.S. 162

So I already outlined how I feel about this..2 things... 1..in the beginning..very Hermione like character (book 1 Hermione would have been like this) Hermione = logic. In this moment she isn't thinking about her own personal feelings for Ron..she’s thinking that it is more LOGICAL that Harry besoms prefect because Ron and Harry do the same in school..but Harry is one of Dumbledore’s favourites..is good at DADA and..has faced more than Ron has... with the triwizard tournament..the Patronus.. the basilisk... and the stone..although Ron did help in every one of those...Harry ..at the end of the day..did face more than both Ron or Hermione herself...so it is more logical that Harry is chosen.. but now realizing its Ron...she’s surprised..because she thought it would have been Harry..but now his brother is saying it in a sense like..Ron isn't prefect worthy..so her direction now points towards Ron..originally she wasn't thinking about what Ron lacked..she was simply thinking about what Harry had...in her mind she wasn't going ‘yes Harry is better than Ron that’s why’ she was just thinking.. ‘Harry is prefect worthy’ ...so now when her direction is pointed towards Ron she starts to think about her own personal feelings about Ron..and why she simply well..likes him...so we see her blushing...people taking it out of context when she can't complete her sentence make it seem like she couldn't think of any good things to say...it was more so she didn’t want to say these things out loud..because they were the reasons why she had a crush on him ...now to Ron...I think this is very important because Ron is usually the one to be like ‘meh yeah I’ll never amount to anything’ but seeing Hermione’s reaction makes him defensive (foreshadowing future events) I actually think him becoming prefect and Hermione’s reaction was a KEY in Ron’s character development..we see ..for the first time..Ron getting defensive about himself..like.. ‘I am not just a nobody’ ...we saw it last book with Hermione to Ron..when she is like ‘see I am a catch- other guys think I’m a catch...’ we see now a Ron who develops a thirst to well..prove himself..show that..just like Hermione did last book..he is a catch... 

"Who're you writing the novel to anyway?" Ron asked Hermione, trying to read the bit of parchment now trailing on the floor. Hermione hitched it up out of sight. "Viktor." "Krum?" "How many other Viktors do we know?" Ron said nothing, but looked disgruntled. -Chapter 21, U.S. 460

We get a bit of GOF seething into OOTP...to highlight that this jealousy is still indeed their and his feelings have not diminished with time 

Harry and Ron both looked at her blankly, and Hermione sighed again. “About You-Know-Who. He said, 'His gift for spreading discord and enmity is very great. We can fight it only by showing an equally strong bond of friendship and trust -’” “How do you remember stuff like that?” asked Ron, looking at her in admiration. “I listen, Ron,” Hermione said with a touch of asperity. -Chapter 12, U.S. 223

So we have book one Hermione..she ..having had her intelligence her whole life...doesn’t realize that other people are not like her.. yes she studies a lot but Hermione is a naturally smart person..and Ron is attracted to it..I think this is AMAZING because a lot of people think that Ron’s insecurities make it so that he wants other people to be lower...but it’s not like that a lot ..he LOVES that Hermione is smart..it’s admirable ...but he himself doesn't like feeling stupid..Hermione’s response is typical book one Hermione..she thinks oh I remember how can’t anyone else? In a way that comes off of rude...instead of blushing and accepting the compliment...but it’s just her character...like even with Krum..instead of finding his accent cute and endearing she lectures him on how he’s not pronouncing her name correctly...but we see a twist here when Ron defends himself...he’s like ‘I listen Hermione...you just have above average intelligence’ ...and now we go forth ..to when Ron becomes keeper...

“Have a butterbeer.” Ron pressed a bottle onto him. “I can’t believe it - where’s Hermione gone?” “She’s there,” said Fred, who was also swigging a butterbeet, and pointed to an armchair by the fire. Hermione was dozing in it, her drink tipping precariously in her hand. “Well, she was pleased when I told her,” said Ron, looking slightly put out. -Chapter 13, U.S. 275

I think him wanting to try out was due to a factor of things...1. him becoming prefect = confidence boost (no he isn’t a nobody he IS capable of doing things..) Hermione's reaction ..wanting to prove that yes IT WAS him who can be a prefect...him getting a new broom...and so forth...there is clearly a thirst to show Hermione that he IS a catch... just like she showed him in book 4. 

“How was practice?” asked Hermione rather coolly half an hour later, as Harry and Ron climbed through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room. “It was -” Harry began. “Completely lousy,” said Ron in a hollow voice, sinking into a chair beside Hermione. She looked up at Ron and her frostiness seemed to melt. -Chapter 14, U.S. 294

So we see that Hermione has developed an emotional type of maturity...and it is directed at none other than Ron Weasley ...Ron has yet to see this side of her...and he isn't even paying attention..so unfortunately this goes missed by Ron 

“Good luck, Ron,” said Hermione, standing on tiptoe and kissing him on the cheek. “And you, Harry -” Ron seemed to come to himself slightly as they walked back across the Great Hall. He touched the spot on his face where Hermione had kissed him, looking puzzled, as though he was not quite sure what had just happened. -Chapter 19, U.S. 404

Ron is not used to Hermione showing him affection...however his own nerves has kind of masked his true reaction to this show of affection from Hermione..although they like eachother..we don't really see too much signs of love affection until later on...now this is where their character differences lie..to Hermione ..that must of been a lot..her kissing him on the cheek is like..obviously I am showing you so much affection..But Ron is an insecure being...+ she is still writing to an international quidditch player..Ron likes Hermione and Hermione likes Ron... it is evident here... however Ron does NOT know that Hermione likes him and Hermione has thought that she told Ron she does..

Ron made a noise that might have indicated jubilation or disgust, it was hard to tell. “Because she was crying,” Harry continued heavily. “Oh,” said Ron, his smile fading slightly. “Are you that bad at kissing?” “Dunno,” said Harry, who hadn’t considered this, and immediately felt rather worried. “Maybe I am.” “Of course you’re not,” said Hermione absently, still scribbling away at her letter. “How do you know?” said Ron in a sharp voice. -Chapter 21, U.S. 458

Here we see for the first time..Ron jealous over Hermione and Harry’s relationship....he ..who is friends with her KNOWS he likes her..he is not aware that she likes him.. he WANTS her to like him..hence the thirst to prove himself...but what she’s shown him in terms of love interest so far is Viktor Krum..an international quidditch player..Harry..who is more famous than him...could it be? that she develops feelings for him? he knows that being friends doesnt eliminate developing feelings...because he likes her and she's supposed to be his friend..and could she possibly..have a type? he’s no Harry Potter or Viktor Krum in his eyes .... 

“Thanks for the book, Harry!” she said happily. “I’ve been wanting that New Theory of Numerology for ages! And that perfume is really unusual, Ron.” “No problem,” said Ron. -Chapter 23, U.S. 503

So this is Ron’s way of trying to rue Hermione Granger in his eyes...he’s trying to MAKE him like her...like I said he is completely unaware that she does

“Harry, you’re worse than Ron… Well, no, you’re not,” she sighed, as Ron himself came stumping into the Hall splattered with mud and looking grumpy. -Chapter 26, U.S. 572

This is basically Hermione telling the audience that in her mind..she has shown Ron she likes him..tbh even if I was Ron I would be confused..because she is Hermione Granger and her affectionate level is not up to par... 

Oh, you’re so naive sometimes, Harry. You really think Umbridge will wait for proof?’ said Hermione, who seemed determined to be in a towering temper, and she swept off towards the girls’ dormitories, banging the door behind her. ‘Such a lovely, sweet-tempered girl,’ said Ron, very quietly, prodding his queen forward to beat up one of Harry’s knights.-Chapter 31, U.S. 716

This is beautiful. Why? Ron knows he likes Hermione...and he knows all her qualities..including Hermione WRATH.So for him to say this in his sarcasm shows how knows how Hermione is and why he basically finds it endearing. 

“What do you think about this?” Hermione demanded of Ron, and Harry was reminded irresistibly of Mrs. Weasley appealing to her husband during Harry’s first dinner at Grimmauld Place. -Chapter 29, U.S. 658

And now we see how their relationship is kind of developing into more than a friendship...even Harry notices it... 

Okay onto half blood prince ... 

Don’t you get used to her if she’s staying in the same house?” Harry asked. “Well, you do,” said Ron, “but if she jumps out at you unexpectedly, like then…” “It’s pathetic,” said Hermione furiously, striding away from Ron as far as she could go and turning to face him her arms folded once she had reached the wall.-Chapter 5, U.S. 93

So we see more Hermione jealousy... her interest for Ron has not left over time.. 

It’s Amortentia!” “It is indeed. It seems almost foolish to ask,” said Slughorn, who was looking mightily impressed, “but I assume you know what it does?” “It’s the most powerful love potion in the world!” said Hermione. “Quite right! You recognized it, I suppose, by its distinctive mother-of-pearl sheen?” “And the steam rising in characteristic spirals,” said Hermione enthusiastically, “and it’s supposed to smell differently to each of us, according to what attracts us, and I can smell freshly mown grass and new parchment and -” But she turned slightly pink and did not complete the sentence. -Chapter 9, U.S. 185

Revealed to be Ron’s hair..but all the readers have known since book 4..That Hermione does indeed like Ron..and that of course she would smell him.. 

‘I dunno why the team’s this popular all of a sudden.’ ‘Oh, come on, Harry,’ said Hermione, suddenly impatient. ‘It’s not Quidditch that’s popular, it’s you! You’ve never been more interesting and, frankly, never more fanciable.’ Ron gagged on a large piece of kipper. Hermione spared him one look of disdainbefore turning back to Harry.

[…]

‘And you’ve been through all the persecution from the Ministry when they were trying to make out you were unstable and a liar. You can still see the marks where that evil woman made you write with your own blood, but you stuck to your story anyway…’ ‘You can still see where those brains got hold of me in the Ministry, look,’ said Ron, shaking back his sleeves. ‘And it doesn’t hurt that you’ve grown about a foot over the summer, either,’ Hermione finished, ignoring Ron. ‘I’m tall,’ said Ron inconsequentially.

This is the first time we’ve heard Hermione call either one of the boys fancible..and it's targeted at Harry..remember last book when Ron is conflicted..does Hermione have a type? Is it like what Rita says? Famous people and what not...But we have a slightly different Ron..one that wants to prove himself..the reasons she points to Harry being fancible are traits Ron realizes he has... And guess what? I bet you 100 dollars that Lavender was not the only one who had a crush on Ron...I definitely think Harry had ‘admirers’ but I am willing to bet that so did Ron.. Harry would have more..by default..with the triwizard tournament ..now Hermione just ignoring Ron because in her mind she knows she likes Ron so she’s just educating Harry as to why people are trying out..not telling Harry that she is personally attracted to him..which of course Ron doesnt see this way 

What did surprise [Harry] was that when Ron drew level with them, Parvati suddenly nudged Lavender, who looked round and gave Ron a wide smile. Ron blinked at her, then returned the smile uncertainly. His walk instantly became something more like a strut. Harry resisted the temptation to laugh, remembering that Ron had refrained from doing so after Malfoy had broken Harry’s nose. Hermione, however, looked cold and distant all the way down to the stadium through the cool, misty drizzle, and departed to find a place in the stands without wishing Ron luck.

Like I said..a lot of girls probably crushed on Ron..but Ron..who still has no idea Hermione likes him..is surprised by one OUTWARDLY showing interest..and of course Hermione is jealous 

“You did brilliantly, Ron!” This time it really was Hermione running toward them from the stands; Harry saw Lavender walking off the pitch, arm in arm with Parvati, a rather grumpy expression on her face. Ron looked extremely pleased with himself and even taller than usual as he grinned at the team and at Hermione. -Chapter 11, U.S. 226

First time Hermione has complemented Ron...and his grin says everything.. 

“’Slug Club,’” repeated Ron with a sneer worthy of Malfoy. “It’s pathetic. Well, I hope you enjoy your party. Why don’t you try hooking up with McLaggen, then Slughorn can make you King and Queen slug-” “We’re allowed to bring guests,” said Hermione, who from some reason had turned a bright, boiling scarlet, “and I was going to ask you to come, but if you think it’s that stupid then I won’t bother.” Harry suddenly wished the pod had flown a little farther, so that he need not have been sitting here with the pair of them. Unnoticed by either, he seized the bowl that contained the pod and began to try and open it by the noisiest and most energetic means he could think of; unfortunately, he could still hear every word of their conversation. “You were going to ask me?” asked Ron, in a completely different voice. “Yes,” said Hermione angrily. “But obviously if you’d rather I hooked up with McLaggen…” There was a pause while Harry continued to pound the resilient pod with a trowl. “No, I wouldn’t,” said Ron, in a very quiet voice. -Chapter 14, U.S. 282

So...Ron is confused...the different voice says it all..Ron as of now has NO IDEA that Hermione likes him....Ron was upset in the beginning because this is just another thing trying to bring him down..it’s like the universe is trying to be like ‘Ron you’re not good enough’ when Hermione...goes out of her way to say she was going to ask him... he’s surprised..and now he’s thinking ..does Hermione ...do I have a chance with her after all? Keep in mind that she doesn’t actually ask him...So then they act nicer to eachother and it looks like this might just be the book they get together..as Hermione has now revealed that she does indeed like him

Ron and Harry were the last two in the changing room. They were just about to leave when Hermione entered. She was twisting her Gryffindor scarf in her hands and looked upset but determined. ‘I want a word with you, Harry.’ She took a deep breath. ‘You shouldn’t have done it. You heard Slughorn, it’s illegal.’ ‘What are you going to do, turn us in?’ demanded Ron. ‘What are you two talking about?’ asked Harry, turning away to hang up his robes so that neither of them would see him grinning. ‘You know perfectly well what we’re talking about!’ said Hermione shrilly. ‘You spiked Ron’s juice with lucky potion at breakfast! Felix Felicis!’ ‘No I didn’t,’ said Harry, turning back to face them both. ‘Yes you did, Harry, and that’s why everything went right, there were Slytherin players missing and Ron saved everything!

This is, I think, more damaging than Ginny doing what she did ...Ron has a thirst to prove himself with Hermione....and then they find out that he didn't have Felix Felicis... But Hermione yet again..is being book one Hermione..by logic..all the Slytherin players were missing..but that was just luck..hermione doesnt like luck... or horoscopes..or predictions..she doesnt think this way..she uses logic..so although she doesnt mean to in my opinion..she is taking a dig at Ron..it is harsh...and it is her character flaw..and of course Ron (and anyone else) is hurt by it..because it comes off more as a lack of faith in Ron’s abilities opposed to her just trying to logic the situation out.. 

Harry's snogged Cho Chang! And Hermione snogged Viktor Krum, it's only you who acts like it's something disgusting, Ron, and that's because you've got about as much experience as a twelve-year-old!"

Ron’s basically had it at this point. Hermione couldn't believe he was prefect...he makes the quidditch team..she can't believe he’s good... she’s called Harry this whole catch...he isn't in the slug club.. now he’s thinking..she doesnt even like me because, like I thought, she thinks im not good enough.originally it was like she might be shy..but no she isnt..she kissed Viktor...so .she was going to ask me to the dinner for what? for pity?and we have basically a Hermione yule ball reaction..Ron has had ENOUGH. he’s tired of it..he isnt trash..he has good traits..if she doesnt recognize them thats her loss..he’s not going to fight for her approval... so he kisses Lavender...because SHE has a crush on him..and she hasn't made it so bloody difficult and she likes him for being..well..Ron.. 

There was a horrible, swelling, billowing silence. Hermione was staring at Ron, who refused to look at her, but said with an odd mixture of bravado and awkwardness, "Hi, Harry! Wondered where you'd got to!" Hermione slid off the desk. The little flock of golden birds continued to twitter in circles around her head so that she looked like a strange, feathery model of the solar system. "You shouldn't keep Lavender waiting outside," she said quietly. "She'll wonder where you've gone." She walked very slowly and erectly toward the door. Harry glanced at Ron, who was looking relieved that nothing worse had happened. "Oppungo!" came a shriek from the doorway. Harry turned around to see Hermione pointing her wand at Ron, her expression wild: The little flock of birds was speeding like a hail of fat golden bullets toward Ron, who yelped and covered his face with his hands, but the birds attacked, pecking and clawing at every bit of flesh they could reach. "Gerremoffme!" he yelled, but with one last look of vindictive fury, Hermione wrenched open the door and disappeared through it. Harry thought he heard a sob before it slammed. -Chapter 14, U.S. 302

So now Ron feels awkward..because Hermione does not hide how she feels about this...but this isn’t just jealousy anymore...Hermione is UPSET. So now he’s thinking...she....she does like me? she did want to ask me because she likes me? but why is she like this then....and overall confusion..because now he has lavender..the first girl who has shown him outward interest...but he cannot hide that he DOES have feelings for Hermione..

Ron, whose hands and forearms still bore scratches and cuts from Hermione's bird attack, was taking a defensive and resentful tone. "She can't complain," he told Harry. "She snogged Krum. So she's found out someone wants to snog me too. Well, it's a free country. I haven't done anything wrong."-Chapter 15, U.S. 304

This is perfect... he’s basically saying...yeah I’m a catch too..whats the problem? 

“He’s at perfect liberty to kiss whomever he likes,” said Hermione, while the librarian, Madam Pince, prowled the shelves behind them. “I really couldn’t care less.” She raised her quill and dotted an i so ferociously that she punctured a hole in her parchment.-Chapter 15, U.S. 305

so she’s clearly upset..but you know Hermione, she doesnt admit these things. 

"Hi, Parvati!" said Hermione, ignoring Ron and Lavender completely. "Are you going to Slughorn's party tonight?" "No invite," said Parvati gloomily. "I'd love to go, though, it sounds like it's going to be really good... You're going, aren't you?" "Yes, I'm meeting Cormac at eight, and we're -" There was a noise like a plunger being withdrawn from a blocked sink and Ron surfaced. Hermione acted as though she had not seen or heard anything. "- we're going up to the party together." "Cormac?" said Parvati. "Cormac McLaggen, you mean?" "That's right," said Hermione sweetly. "The one who almost" - she put a great deal of emphasis on the word - "became Gryffindor Keeper." "Are you going out with him, then?" asked Parvati, wide-eyed. "Oh - yes - didn't you know?" said Hermione, with a most un-Hermione-ish giggle. "No!" said Parvati, looking positively agog at this piece of gossip. "Wow, you like your Quidditch players, don't you? First Krum, then McLaggen..." "I like really good Quidditch players," Hermione corrected her, still smiling. "Well, see you... Got to go and get ready for the party..." -Chapter 15, U.S. 313

Here we see a different side of Hermione..a mean Hermione...now...this is HONESTLY typical 16 year old behaviour...and although its mean..its pretty SPOT ON to how a 16 year old girl would react to a guy she likes..a guy she thought she told she likes..a guy who revealed that he likes her ... getting it on with another girl right after (unaware of Ginny)...and well not seeing what was wrong with her whole Felix nonsense... 

“Did you have a good Christmas?” “Yeah,” said Ron at once, “pretty eventful, Rufus Scrim -” “I’ve got something for you, Harry,” said Hermione, neither looking at Ron nor giving any sign that she had heard him. -Chapter 17, U.S. 351

This is interesting...Hermione is being really mean to Ron during this time..giving him shit..now a couple of chapters ago Ron would have been really hurt by her words..to a point to where he wouldn't talk to her..but now Ron is realizing just how mad she is at the lavender ordeal..and he’s realizing..she’s this mad..it means well..she likes me... so he’s taking all the shit she’s giving him because he now KNOWS she’s trying to piss him off. 

Hermione gave an almost inaudible sniff. She had been exceptionally quiet all day. Having hurtled, white-faced, up to Harry outside the hospital wing and demanded to know what had happened, she had taken almost no part in Harry and Ginny's obsessive discussion about how Ron had been poisoned, but merely stood behind them, clench-jawed and frightened-looking, until at last they had been allowed in to see him. -Chapter 19, U.S. 400

So now Ron has been poisoned..and Hermione has been a bitch to him for the past 2 months...and now she feels guilty..because the reason she's been a bitch to him is because he hurt her..because she likes him..because he decided to be with another girl when she thought they were going to finally become a thing...and now she puts her own personal anger aside because above all else Ron is her friend and she does love him.... and she does care for him and she always will.. 

"Er-my-nee," croaked Ron unexpectedly from between them. -Chapter 19, U.S. 402

Well now Hermione is well...Ron just exposed himself..so she knows him being with Lavender doesnt mean he doesnt like her... 

He stopped talking very suddenly. Lavender Brown was standing at the foot of the marble staircase looking thunderous. "Hi," said Ron nervously. "C'mon," Harry muttered to Hermione, and they sped past, though not before they heard Lavender say, "Why didn't you tell me you were getting out today? And why was she with you?" Ron looked both sulky and annoyed when he appeared at breakfast half an hour later, and though he sat with Lavender, Harry did not see them exchange a word all the time they were together. Hermione was acting as though she was quite oblivious to all of this, but once or twice Harry saw an inexplicable smirk cross her face. -Chapter 20, U.S. 425

Now..Lavender doesnt deserve this but it so so sparingly typical 16 year old girl behaviour...that its like ..refreshing..Hermione..although smart..and responsible..is still a teen girl...the guy she likes is fighting with his girlfriend about her..and his girlfriend is jealous of her... and he said her name in his sleep...she’s like yess f you lavender..stay away from MY MAN..thats right be jealous..and her seeing Ron unhappy with it..it’s like yep he wants me dont forget it. 

"How d'you spell 'belligerent'?" said Ron, shaking his quill very hard while staring at his parchment. "It can't be B - U - M -" "No, it isn't," said Hermione, pulling Ron's essay toward her. "And 'augury' doesn't being O - R -G either. What kind of quill are you using?" "It's one of Fred and George's spell-check ones... but I think the charm must be wearing off..." "Yes, it must," said Hermione, pointing at the title of his essay, "because we were asked how we'd deal with dementors, not 'Dugbogs,' and I don't remember you changing your name to 'Roonil Wazlib' either." "Ah no!" said Ron, staring horror-struck at the parchment. "Don't say I'll have to write the whole thing out again!" "It's okay, we can fix it," said Hermione, pulling the essay toward her and taking out her wand. "I love you, Hermione," said Ron, sinking back in his chair, rubbing his eyes wearily. Hermione turned faintly pink, but merely said, "Don't let Lavender hear you saying that." -Chapter 21, U.S. 449

Yep... he likes me ... she's thinking.. and of course she brings up lavender because she wants him to end it with her 

"No joy," said Harry, as Ron joined them. "Bad luck, mate, but you'll pass next time - we can take it together."

"Yeah, I s'pose," said Ron grumpily. "But half an eyebrow! Like that matters!" "I know," said Hermione soothingly, "it does seem really harsh..." -Chapter 22, U.S. 476

Hermione showing affection now because she knows Ron likes her.. 

"Ron, you're making it snow," said Hermione patiently, grabbing his wrist and redirecting his wand away from the ceiling from which, sure enough, large white flakes had started to fall. Lavender Brown, Harry noticed, glared at Hermione from a neighboring table through very red eyes, and Hermione immediately let go of Ron's arm. "Oh yeah," said Ron, looking down at his shoulders in vague surprise. "Sorry... looks like we've all got horrible dandruff now..." He brushed some of the fake snow off Hermione's shoulder. Lavender burst into tears. -Chapter 24, U.S. 514

I feel sorry for lavender here and I think Ron and Hermione also feel guilty...but now they’re over...and they both kind of know what’s up.. 

Ron, he saw, was now holding Hermione and stroking her hair while she sobbed into his shoulder, tears dripping from the end of his own long nose. -Chapter 30, U.S. 647

And now we see more relationship-y affection... 

Ron tripped dazedly toward Harry and Hermione. "You're okay," he mumbled, before Hermione flew at him and hugged him tightly. "I thought - I thought -" "'M all right," said Ron, patting her on the back. "'M fine." "Ron was great," said Tonks warmly, reliquishing her hold on Lupin. "Wonderful. Stunned one of the Death Eaters, straight to the head, and when you're aiming at a moving target from a flying broom -" "You did?" said Hermione, gazing up at Ron with her arms still around his neck. "Always the tone of surprise," he said a little grumpily, breaking free. -Chapter 5, U.S. 76

So now we have different setting..there is a war approaching..seriousness..but they’re physically showing more affection then we have seen... their exchanges are no longer friend exchanges... but people who have a clear interest in eachother 

Don't!" squealed Hermione. Startled, Harry looked over just in time to see her burst into tears over her copy of Spellman's Syllabary. "Oh no," said Harry, struggling to get up from the old camp bed. "Hermione, I wasn't trying to upset -" But with a great creaking of rusty bedsprings, Ron bounded off the bed and got there first. One arm around Hermione, he fished in his jeans pocket and withdrew a revolting-looking handkerchief that he had used to clean out the oven earlier. Hastily pulling out his wand, he pointed it at the rag and said, "Tergeo." The wand siphoned off most of the grease. Looking rather pleased with himself, Ron handed the slightly smoking handkerchief to Hermione. "Oh... thanks, Ron... I'm sorry..." She blew her nose and hiccuped. "It's just so awful, isn't it? R-right after Dumbledore... I j-just never imagined Mad-Eye dying, somehow, he seemed so tough!" "Yeah, I know," said Ron, giving her a squeeze. "But you know what he'd say to us if he was here?" "'C-constant vigilance,'" said Hermione, mopping her eyes. "That's right," said Ron, nodding. "He'd tell us to learn from what happened to him. And what I've learned is not to trust that cowardly little squit, Mundungus." Hermione gave a shaky laugh and leaned forward to pick up two more books. - Chapter 6, U.S. 94

And now we see...sensitive Ron..it’s so strange to see after all these books..but it makes sense.. this is a more serious time..and they’re older..and then of course..the book he read... I think his experience with Lavender was basically the kick that told him..you know what..I’m going to show this girl how much I like her..because I know she feels something for me..so I’m going to woo her over.. 

"This isn't your average book," said Ron. "It's pure gold: Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches. Explains everything you need to know about girls. If only I'd had this last year I'd have known exactly how to get rid of Lavender and I would've known how to get going with... Well, Fred and George gave me a copy, and I've learned a lot. You'd be surprised, it's not all about wandwork, either."- Chapter 7, U.S. 113

Hermione is confusing you can't blame him honestly. 

Hermione made purple and gold streamers erupt from the end of her wand and drape themselves artistically over the trees and bushes. "Nice," said Ron, as with one final flourish of her wand, Hermione turned the leaves on the crabapple tree to gold. "You've really got an eye for that sort of thing." "Thank you, Ron!" said Hermione, looking both pleased and a little confused.- Chapter 7, U.S. 118

Definitely taken from the book..but its great..it shows Ron taking initiative with Hermione..he’s trying to figure out how to get his friend to become his girlfriend...so this whole starting to be more romantic slowly thing..it’s perfect... 

Hermione looked pleasurably flustered, but this time Krum had not come to compliment her. With a scowl on his face he said, "Who is that man in the yellow?" "That's Xenophilius Lovegood, he's the father of a friend of ours," said Ron. His pugnacious tone indicated that they were not about to laugh at Xenophilius, despite the clear provocation. "Come and dance," he added abruptly to Hermione. She looked taken aback, but pleased too, and got up. They vanished together into the growing throng on the dance floor. "Ah, they are together now?" asked Krum, momentarily distracted. "Er - sort of," said Harry. -Chapter 8, U.S. 147

I like that he doesn’t even ask her... this is what we see for the first time...a less teenager like Ron and a more adult like Ron.. 

"You're amazing, you are," said Ron, handing her his bundled up robes. "Thank you," said Hermione, managing a small smile as she pushed the robes into the bags.- Chapter 9, U.S. 162

We see that Ron is indeed a gentleman when he wants to be..and that he is capable of being emotionally mature 

"Family safe, do not reply, we are being watched." The Patronus dissolved into nothingness. Ron let out a noise between a whimper and a groan and dropped onto the sofa: Hermione joined him, gripping his arm. "They're all right, they're all right!" she whispered, and Ron half laughed and hugged her. - Chapter 9, U.S. 173

More outward physical affection.. 

Harry glanced over at the dark shapes they made on the floor beside him. Ron had a fit of gallantry and insisted that Hermione sleep on the cushions from the sofa, so that her silhouette was raised above his. Her arm curved to the floor, her finger's inches from Ron's. Harry wondered whether they had fallen asleep holding hands. - Chaper 10, U.S. 176

Yes they did...and it was 100% Ron who instigated it... 

Ron glanced at Hermione, then said, "What if purebloods and half-bloods swear a Muggle-born's part of their family? I'll tell everyone Hermione's my cousin -" Hermione covered Ron's hand with hers and squeezed it. "Thank you, Ron, but I couldn't let you -" "You won't have a choice," said Ron fiercely, gripping her hand back. "I'll teach you my family tree so you can answer questions on it." - Chapter 11, U.S. 209

Outward physical affection between them...as we see Ron is not shy to grip her hand right back. 

"Don't look at me like that!" he snapped at Hermione. "Don't you start on her!" snarled Ron.- Chapter 11, U.S. 215

Ron making it clear that although they are all friends..Hermione is his love interest and he won’t let guys disrespect her..even if it’s Harry.. 

"Snape could send Phineas Nigellus to look inside this house for him," Hermione explained to Ron as she resumed her seat. "But let him try it now, all Phineas Nigellus will be able to see is the inside of my handbag." "Good thinking!" said Ron, looking impressed. "Thank you," smiled Hermione, pulling her soup toward her.- Chapter 12, U.S. 228

Some more 12 fail safe action..Ron...even in the midst of all of this..remembers to pay Hermione compliments because well..he wants to be a gentleman to her.. 

Respect?" Harry repeated, but Hermione shot him a warning look; apparently he was not to argue with Ron while the latter was in such a weakened condition.- Chapter 14, U.S. 273

Same as Ron..Hermione makes it clear that even though they’re all friends... Ron is not to be mistreated because that is well..her man.. 

Hermione was watching Ron fret over the fate of the Cameroles, and there was such tenderness in her expression that Harry felt as if he had surprised her in the act of kissing him.- Chapter 14, U.S. 274

So like has now turned into love... Ron..who has been paying her compliments..shown his maturity..and now his amazing character..has indeed one over the love of Hermione Granger 

Ron wrenched the chain from over his head and cast the locket into a nearby chair. He turned to Hermione. "What are you doing?" "What do you mean? "Are you staying, or what?" "I..." She looked anguished. "Yes - yes, I'm staying. Ron, we said we'd go with Harry, we said we'd help -" "I get it. You choose him." "Ron, no - please - come back, come back!" She was impeded by her own Shield Charm; by the time she had removed it, he had already stormed into the night. Harry stood quite still and silent, listening to her sobbing and calling Ron's name amongst the trees. After a few minutes she returned, her sopping hair plastered to her face. "He's g-g-gone! Disapparated!" She threw herself into a chair, curled up, and started to cry.- Chapter 15, U.S. 309

Ron..even with the influence of the locket.. did not forget about Hermione..he asked her..even with the locket telling him that Hermione didn't care about him..and her staying just validating the locket. Hermione is now devastated at this point..because he was JUST gentleman Ron..just making jokes...just showing her that he cared..how could he switch so quickly? Of course...the locket..she knows its the locket.. she feels down with it as well..it keeps telling her about her parents..how she will never fit in the wizarding world as a muggle born..but she never had any doubts about Ron...Ron only gave her doubts when Lavender.. and that ended...this locket picks up on INSECURITIES... Hermione is a confident young woman when it comes to her relationships..her fears are in not doing well...not in how others perceive her..and we know how Harry was.. his insecurity was that people doubted him..the boy who lied...now we have Ron..his insecurities is that he is not good enough..not for Harry..not for Hermione...and that he was useless..why take part of a war you dont contribute to? He’s holding them BACK. With his injury...He is RUINING their chances of defeating voldemort..they would be better without him... its SHOULD be the two of them..everyone else thinks so.....so he leaves...and she doesnt reach Ron in time...the moment the lockets off he realizes...what he’d done..his love for them has always ALWAYS conquered his insecurities..but its too late. 

"Why return? We were better without you, happier without you, glad of your absence... We laughed at your stupidity, your cowardice, your presumption -" "Presumption!" echoed the Riddle-Hermione, who was more beautiful and yet more terrible than the real Hermione: She swayed, cackling, before Ron, who looked horrified yet transfixed, the sword hanging pointlessly at his side. "Who could look at you, who would ever look at you, beside Harry Potter? What have you ever done, compared with the Chosen One? What are you, compared with the Boy Who Lived?" "Ron, stab it, STAB IT!" Harry yelled, but Ron did not move: His eyes were wide, and the Riddle-Harry and Riddle-Hermione were reflected in them, their hair swirling like flames, their eyes shining red, their voices lifted in an evil duet. "Your mother confessed," sneered Riddle-Harry, while Riddle-Hermione jeered, "that she would have preferred me as a son, would be glad to exchange..." "Who wouldn't prefer him, what woman would take you, you are nothing, nothing, nothing to him," crooned Riddle-Hermione, and she stretched like a snake and entwined herself around Riddle-Harry, wrapping him in a close embrace: Their lips met. On the ground in front of them, Ron's face filled with anguish. He raised the sword high, his arms shaking. "Do it, Ron!" Harry yelled. Ron looked toward him, and Harry thought he saw a trace of scarlet in his eyes. "Ron -?" The sword flashed, plunged: Harry threw himself out of the way, there was a clang of metal and a long, drawn-out scream. Harry whirled around, slipping in the snow, wand held ready to defend himself: but there was nothing to fight. The monstrous versions of himself and Hermione were gone: There was only Ron, standing there with the sword held slackly in his hand, looking down at the shattered remains of the locket on the flat rock. Slowly, Harry walked back to him, hardly knowing what to say or do. Ron was breathing heavily: His eyes were no longer red at all, but their normal blue; they were also wet. Harry stooped, pretending he had not seen, and picked up the broken Horcrux. Ron had pierced the glass in both windows: Riddle's eyes were gone, and the stained silk lining of the locket was smoking slightly. The thing that had lived in the Horcrux had vanished; torturing Ron had been its final act. The sword clanged as Ron dropped it. He had sunk to his knees, his head in his arms. He was shaking, but not, Harry realized, from cold. Harry crammed the broken locket into his pocket, knelt down beside Ron, and placed a hand cautiously on his shoulder. He took it as a good sign that Ron did not throw it off. "After you left," he said in a low voice, grateful for the fact that Ron's face was hidden, "she cried for a week. Probably longer, only she didn't want me to see. There were loads of nights when we never even spoke to each other. With you gone..." He could not finish it; it was only now that Ron was here again that Harry fully realized how much his absence had cost them. "She's like my sister," he went on. "I love her like a sister and I reckon she feels the same way about me. It's always been like that. I thought you knew."- Chapter 19, U.S. 375

Like I said... 

She saw Ron, who stood there holding the sword and dripping onto the threadbare carpet. Harry backed into a shadowy corner, slipped off Ron's rucksack, and attempted to blend in with the canvas. Hermione slid out of her bunk and moved like a sleepwalker toward Ron, her eyes upon his pale face. She stopped right in front of him, her lips slightly parted, her eyes wide. Ron gave a weak, hopeful smile and half raised his arms. Hermione launched herself forward and started punching every inch of him that she could reach. "Ouch - ow - gerroff! What the -? Hermione - OW!" "You - complete - arse - Ronald - Weasley!" She punctuated every word with a blow: Ron backed away, shielding his head as Hermione advanced. "You - crawl - back - here - after - weeks - and - weeks - oh, where's my wand?" She looked as though ready to wrestle it out of Harry's hands and he reacted instictively. "Protego!" The invisible shield erupted between Ron and Hermione: The force of it knocked her backward onto the floor. Spitting hair out of her mouth, she leapt up again. "Hermione!" Harry said. "Calm -" "I will not calm down!" she screamed. Never before had he seen her lose control like this; she looked quite demented. "Give me back my wand! Give it to me!" "Hermione, will you please -" "Don't you tell me what to do, Harry Potter!" she screeched. "Don't you dare! Give it back now! And YOU!" She was pointing at Ron in dire accusation: It was like a malediction, and Harry could not blame Ron for retreating several steps. "I came running after you! I called you! I begged you to come back!" "I know," Ron said, "Hermione, I'm sorry, I'm really -" "Oh, you're sorry!" She laughed, a high pitched, out-of-control sound; Ron looked at Harry for help, but Harry merely grimaced his helplessness. "You come back after weeks - weeks - and you think it's all going to be all right if you say sorry?" "Well, what else can I say?" Ron shouted, and Harry was glad that Ron was fighting back. "Oh, I don't know!" yelled Hermione with awful sarcasm. "Rack your brains, Ron, that should only take a couple of seconds -" "Hermione," interjected Harry, who considered this a lot blow, "he just saved my -" "I don't care!" she screamed. "I don't care what he's done! Weeks and weeks, we could have been dead for all he knew -" "I knew you weren't dead!" bellowed Ron, drowning her voice for the first time, and approaching as close as he could with the Shield Charm between them. "Harry's all over the Prophet, all over the radio, they're looking for you everywhere, all these rumors and mental stories, I knew I'd hear straight off if you were dead, you don't know what it's been like -" "What it's been like for you?" Her voice was now so shrill only bats would be able to hear it soon, but she had reached a level of indignation that rendered her temporarily speechless, and Ron seized his opportunity. "I wanted to come back the minute I'd Disapparated, but I walked straight into a gang of Snatchers, Hermione, and I couldn't go anywhere!"- Chapter 19, U.S. 379

So Hermione is obviously being cruel..but its justified..he hurt her..she loves him and he left her...but he explains... and of course she hasn't witnessed what we and Harry all have

When Hermione returned to her bunk, Harry lowered his voice. "You only agreed to try and get back in her good books." "All's fair in love and war," said Ron brightly, "and this is a bit of both."- Chapter 20, U.S. 396

Ron has revealed he loves her.. 

"Get - off - her!" Ron shouted. There was the unmistakable sound of knuckles hitting flesh: Ron grunted in pain and Hermione screamed, "No! Leave him alone, leave him alone!" "Your boyfriend's going to have worse than that done to him if he's on my list," said the horribly familiar, rasping voice.- Chapter 23, U.S. 447

Take these prisoners down to the cellar, Greyback." "Wait," said Bellatrix sharply. "All except... except for the Mudblood." Greyback gave a grunt of pleasure. "No!" shouted Ron. "You can have me, keep me!" Bellatrix hit him across the face; the blow echoed around the room. "If she dies under questioning, I'll take you next," she said.- Chapter 23, U.S. 463

"Reckon she'll let me have a bit of the girl when she's finished with her?" Greyback crooned as he forced them along the corridor. "I'd say I'll get a bite or two, wouldn't you, ginger?" Harry could feel Ron shaking.- Chapter 23, U.S. 463

The echoing bang of the slammed cellar door had not died away before there was a terrible, drawn-out scream from directly above them. "HERMIONE!" Ron bellowed, and he started to writhe and struggle against the ropes tying them together, so that Harry staggered. "HERMIONE!" "Be quiet!" Harry said. "Shut up, Ron, we need to work out a way -" "HERMIONE! HERMIONE!"

- Chapter 23, U.S. 464

I'm going to ask you again! Where did you get this sword? Where?" "We found it - we found it - PLEASE!" Hermione screamed again: Ron struggled harder than ever, and the rusty nail slipped onto Harry's wrist.

- Chapter 23, U.S. 465

From above came Bellatrix's voice. "You are lying, filthy Mudblood, and I know it! You have been inside my vault at Gringotts! Tell the truth, tell the truth!" Another terrible scream - "HERMIONE!" "What else did you take? What else have you got? Tell me the truth or, I swear, I shall run you through with this knife!" "There!" Harry felt the ropes fall away and turned, rubbing his wrists, to see Ron running around the cellar, looking up at the low ceiling, searching for a trapdoor.

- Chapter 23, U.S. 465

"What else did you take, what else? ANSWER ME! CRUCIO!" Hermione's screams echoed off the walls upstairs, Ron was half sobbing as he pounded the walls with his fists [...]

- Chapter 23, U.S. 466

He tilted the shard of mirror this way and that, and saw nothing reflected there but the walls and ceiling of their prison, and upstairs Hermione was screaming worse than ever, and next to him Ron was bellowing, "HERMIONE! HERMIONE!"

"And I think," said Bellatrix's voice, "we can dispose of the Mudblood. Greyback, take her if you want her." "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ron had burst into the drawing room; Bellatrix looked around, shocked; she turned her wand to face Ron instead -- Chapter 23, U.S. 472

Ron doesn't care about anything else here..not the greater good..not the war..not Voldemort..just Hermione..and now we SEE that Ron truly loves this woman...he disarms Bellatrix..in this moment he doesnt CARE who it is..and all he is focused on is Hermione ..this shows the readers that Ron...does not view as Hermione as just a crush..or a girl he likes..or a friend...he loves Hermione to a point no one else in that room does.. 

Hermione was wrapped in a borrowed dressing gown, pale and unsteady on her feet; Ron put an arm around her when she reached him.- Chapter 24, U.S. 480

He is her comfort...and we now know that its Ron and Hermione... 

And then he skidded around a final corner and with a yell of mingled relief and fury he saw them: Ron and Hermione, both with their arms full of large, curved, dirty yellow objects, Ron with a broomstick under his arm. "Where the hell have you been?" Harry shouted. "Chamber of Secrets," said Ron. "Chamber - what?" said Harry, coming to an unsteady halt before them. "It was Ron, all Ron's idea!" said Hermione breathlessly. "Wasn't it absolutely brilliant? There we were, after you left, and I said to Ron, even if we find the other one, how are we going to get rid of it? We still hadn't got rid of the cup! And then he thought of it! The basilisk!" "What the -?" "Something to get rid of Horcruxes," said Ron simply. Harry's eyes dropped to the objects clutched in Ron and Hermione's arms; great curved fangs, torn, he now realized, from the skull of a dead basilisk. "But how did you get in there?" he asked, staring from the fangs to Ron. "You need to speak Parseltongue!" "He did!" whispered Hermione. "Show him, Ron!" Ron made a horrible strangled hissing noise. "It's what you did to open the locket," he told Harry apologetically. "I had to have a few goes to get it right, but," he shrugged modestly, "we got there in the end." "He was amazing!" said Hermione. "Amazing!"- Chapter 31, U.S. 623

A twist...Hermione complimenting Ron... and we see huge character growth in Ron..instead of basking in it..he is being nonchalant ...because its bigger than his insecurities now..and he knows it’s about just keeping Hermione safe and ending this war 

Hang on a moment!" said Ron sharply. "We've forgotten someone!" "Who?" asked Hermione. "The house-elves, they'll all be down in the kitchen, won't they?" "You mean we ought to get them fighting?" asked Harry. "No," said Ron seriously, "I mean we should tell them to get out. We don't want any more Dobbies, do we? We can't order them to die for us -" There was a clatter as the basilisk fangs cascaded out of Hermione's arms. Running at Ron, she flung them around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Ron threw away the fangs and broomstick he was holding and responded with such enthusiasm that he lifted Hermione off her feet. "Is this the moment?" Harry asked weakly, and when nothing happened except Ron and Hermione gripped each other still more firmly and swayed on the spot, he raised his voice. "OI! There's a war going on here!" Ron and Hermione broke apart, their arms still around each other. "I know, mate," said Ron, who looked as though he had recently been hit on the back of the head with a Bludger, "so it's now or never, isn't it?" "Never mind that, what about the Horcrux?" Harry shouted. "D'you think you could just - just hold it in until we've got the diadem?" "Yeah - right - sorry," said Ron, and he and Hermione set about gathering up fangs, both pink in the face.- Chapter 31, U.S. 625

And its official...they might die..they know they love eachother...and Hermione..overridden by passion has done the most un-Hermione-ish thing...she has kissed Ron...in the middle of a war..and Ron is eager..and this is it..they know it's them..he knows he likes her..she knows he likes him...and they might lose eachother..and so they kiss..and it’s with passion..because they love eachother... 

Rose, who was already wearing her brand-new Hogwarts robes, beamed at him. "Parked all right, then?" Ron asked Harry. "I did. Hermione didn't believe I could pass a Muggle driving test, did you? She though I'd have to Confund the examiner." "No, I didn't," said Hermione, "I had complete faith in you." "As a matter of fact, I did Confund him," Ron whispered to Harry, as together they lifted Albus's trunk and owl onto the train. "I only forgot to look in the wing mirror, and let's face it, I can use a Supersensory Charm for that." Back on the platform, they found Lily and Hugo, Rose's younger brother, having an animated discussion about which House they would be sorted into when they finally went to Hogwarts. "If you're not in Gryffindor, we'll disinherit you," said Ron, "but no pressure." "Ron!" - Epilogue, U.S. 755

Ron although talking about Hermione's lack of faith in him...does it in a much different way than we’ve seen in the books..he’s teasing..and now the audience sees a more confident Ron...he admits yeah she’s right I had confund him..but he doesnt care..because he knows himself now..and hes an adult and he has children with the love of his life, Hermione Granger 

"So that's little Scorpius," said Ron under his breath. "Make sure you beat him at every test, Rosie. Thank God you inherited your mother's brains."

"Ron, for heaven's sake," said Hermione, half stern, half amused. "Don't try to turn them against each other before they've even started school!" "You're right," said Ron, but unable to help himself, he added, "Don't get too friendly with him, though, Rosie. Granddad Weasley would never forgive you if you married a pureblood."- Epilogue, U.S. 756

Adorable. We get an extended version of the Ron that complimented Hermione in deathly Hallows...and it just shows that they now have a very healthy relationship 

In conclusion, there is serious growth that happens in the both of the, ...and their development is one of the best relationship developments I have ever read... we are reading about teenagers here...how many 14 year old relationships do you take seriously? I think them getting together at the last book was perfect...and their characters are so obviously made well for eachother.. Thanks for reading!

[mamusings]

Supernatural Season 1 Thoughts

So I'm rewatching mainly to distract myself from the dogs breakfast the show has descended into. But also because my feelings about the show as a whole are decidedly mixed. I come to it as a buffy fan. I've always been curious about spn as a successor show to buffy, but only watched thr first 13 seasons in 2020. Blame lockdown.

Anyway s1. Blinding start, blinding finish. But the middle is just too many MOTW episodes without enough season arc development. I keep wondering who the show is for. It feels aesthetically very male. Lots of blood, guns and violence. Well-realised horror feel - although I think it's hard to really feel fear when you dont particularly care about who might die. It's only when you threaten a major character death that things hit harder. Also the genuflecting to realism by drawing on urban myths feels like something for stereotypically 'male' rather than 'female'. Probably reflects my preferences that I was never to into the MOTW format some buffy fans loved and that I was always more interested in the story telling than realism or even consistency. Monsters as metaphors works better for me. But Spn is a much more cloistered universe. Two guys and their absent father is what s1 is about. But it dits weirdly between being comfort viewing and needing attention. There's much that starts to feel formulaic with MOTW episodes: Impala on the road scene, some rock music, an opener that gives you a new mystery and people to go with it blah blah. You can practically set your watch by the final denouement happening in the final 8 mins. It feels like the show is diligently checking off every myth and monster going which gets tedious. I found the need for setting up yet another family in danger was something that gets hard to care about. "Oh look a couple, someone's gonna die, shall I fast forward until sam and dean show up." And yet there are some interesting undercutting of the white working class vibe the show has. Two that stand out to me are: the 'female gazing' of the camera work off Sam and Dean. There's a lot of panning - are we getting in the boys with the guns and hardware and then offering up the handsome male bodies for women? I felt a little cheap, but they they are v cute. The other is having a black/bi racial woman play Dean's only serious love interest. The ghost truck thing is terrible but putting attitudes to race at the centre of this particular storyline was intriguing. Perhaps a counter balance to the overall wwc feel of things. (Full disclosure I am a black woman and I enjoyed seeing this - even tho I did have several moments of wondering was the predominant female look so uniform back then. All the girls have the same build (and did we all wear such low rise jeans?) plus long, wavy/curly hair...except Meg who basically has Sam's hairstyle ha ha)

What's impressive? The first few episodes give us a cluster of core lines: bitch/jerk, no chick flick moments, and the sibling dynamic This show hits its stride right in the pilot and wendigo is still one of the scarier episodes. Thats a really good opening shot imo.

It's no surprise that what's really riveting is Sam and Dean. But on rewatching I saw a lot more on why this is so interesting. Basically when the characters are introduced you first get Sam. He's your archetypal nice guy whis hot everything though for him. Stanford, girlfriend, friends, great test score but also and crucially hes likeable. Then you get Dean and hes introduced as a dick. Breaks in, wrestles Sam, comes on to/is sleazy with Sams gf. So cocky bad boy: check.

In the pilot dean is the annoying big brother to a t. So they set up two contrasting personalities. Dean is disrespectful to cops, Sam is embarrassed by it. Dean is into hunting, Sam is unwillingly persuaded. Dean is insensitive, Sam kinder and sweet. Dean plays dumb, Sam's the academic achiever. But what we witness over the course of the season essentially reverses this. Sam's the real rebel defying his father, Dean the obedient son. Dean gets a lot of scenes showing him make swift emotional connections esp with children or people in caretaker roles. Dean's very adult 'I'm 26 of course I go on hunts alone' is unmasked by the fact he gets Sam to help him because hes lonely. And Dean (often clumsily) tries to help Sam move on about Jess and open up about his nightmares. While the explicit dialogue casts Sam as the geeky loser brother what we see in this season is that the loser is actually Dean. Sam has friends, Sam has a relationship, Sam has a life he wants to get back to. Dean has no one and some of the hardest emotional hits this season are when his mask is lifted to show us just that. For instance shape shifter Dean voices his jealousy in Skin. Also Azazel taunts Dean about how he needs Sam and John in a way that they dont need him.

The closing episodes really bring some of these contrasts home. Dead Mans Blood gives us a great bonding scene between Sam and John, for me that's a moment where it falls into place that they so much in common that it leaves Dean on the outside. They both loved women they lost to a demon. For both of them (at this stage) the mission, as in killing this demon, matters more than family. Its Dean who constantly prioritises family, even while his family deprioritise him. Both Sam in Salvation and John in Devils Trap put sacrificing themselves to kill the demon as their first priority. Whereas Dean consistently argues for family, first persuading John that they are stronger together, then telling Sam that the three of us 'is all I have' in Salvation. The point gets hammered home in Devils Trap where Dean says (in case the stupid viewer missed it "you and Dad are a lot more alike..cant wait to sacrifice yourselves, but I'm going to be the one to bury you").

Much of the rest of the relationship development is about showing us the partnership Sam and Dean are developing. You see increasing ease in working together - maybe most cliched in how they toss weapons back and forth in Hell House. Plus that interesting sibling dynamic when you love someone and find them intensely annoying that feels enjoyable even if your own sibling relationship is nothing like it.

But what's interesting is that while Dean's character is revealed throughout the season. You see through the episodes the difference between his Dean presents himself and hiw he is, but dean doesn't change. Hes immature and emotionally driven I'd also savvy and brave. Its Sam who changes. Not in how he is, but in his priorities. Sam realises the good bit about Dean among the stuff that irritates him. But most importantly the final episode shows us Sam moving from thinking the mission is what matters just like John. To thinking his family matters more. He doesnt shoot Azazel inside John and when John berates him for it his look at the bloodied-up Dean in the rearview mirror speaks volumes.

It's all the more striking because thus argument has been the core dilemma for the last 3 episodes. It's also the crux of how Dean, for all his obedience, sees himself as falling short of who his father wants him to be. He cant turn his heart off. Its Dean who calls his dad sounding like a tearful little boy in Home. It's when John approves of him making the heart choice and using the colt to save Sam, that Dean realises it's not his father but Azazel speaking. I find that painful to watch it's been so well set up. You get lots of preview of Dean really wanting approval and when it finally comes and you're all ahh fsmily bonding, Dean puts it together and goes you're not my father. Ouch.

Absent fathers and eventually I guess an absent God is a big spn theme. So there is something to say for looking at it in this season. John's absence is the driver of the whole season. But it's also the foundation stone of both Sam and Dean's character. What we get most of in s1 is a sense of the impact of his fathers absence on Dean. The childhood neglect, but also the absence of approval. My European background always makes it jarring when children address their father as sir so I hope I'm not over reading this. When John gets back the way it emasculates Dean is jarring. The jumping to attention with the yessirs and the following orders is such a distance from the cocky law breaker. Its interesting that the first scenes in which I recall the boys speaking in unison are these yessirs. But the scene I remember most is a trivial one, Dean offers John a machete out of Babys messy looking trunk - hes already been pulled up by dad for inadequate car maintenance. But John pulls a bigger, better, cleaner machete out of his high spec truck - Dead Mans Blood. Sums it up for me. Dean is so eager for approval, his father withholds it so casually. Sam is less like this, because he had Dean to parent him however ineptly. Sam did not have a hoid parent in Dean, but Dean showed up. Sam starts to make that realisation in season 1 and there are a few thank you moments. Contrast Dean's only outburst against his father when hes admonished to call when in trouble. He takes a leaf out of Sam's book and notes that they did call in Lawrence and they called when Dean was dying in Faith, hes angry and rightly so. John didn't show. But its interesting that Dean's fight with John sounds like a child fighting with a parent. It even ends with 'I dont care for your tone' from John even as he accepts Dean's point. Constrast Sam and John who have a much deeper ongoing disagreement. But Sam fights his father from an adult position. He's not looking for approval or acceptance, Sam claims his ground, argues his point. Dean still just needs to be loved.

But as well as the impact of the absent parent there is also having grown beyond the parent. I feel like the final few episodes show us that 'the boys' have surpassed their father. John's fake colt idea is lame and Dean calls it. By contrast the devils trap at Bobby's to catch Meg feels like a moment of brilliance particularly as the trap is sprung on the viewer so we feel surprised too.. Sure they call in help from Bobby, but what they do is well planned and they pull it off. And calling in helo when you need it us grown up.

Theres an element of fate vs character exploration when it comes to Sam and Dean. What happens to Sam is fate. It's not related to how he is or how he behaves. We find that out more fully soon. Whereas what happend to Dean relates to his character. IMO Dean actually has the option of walking away from hunting that Sam tried to exercise. Unlike Sam, hunting wouldn't have pursued Dean by killing his girlfriend. But Dean's character means he doesnt chose to walk away because family is important to him, in a way that it isn't for Sam until the end of this season. Its interesting that Sam perceives of himself as having choices he doesn't have. Whereas Dean sees himself as having no choice, when in fact he does. But I guess we don't know that yet so maybe the argument doesn't work?

#supernatural #sam #dean #winchester

[persephonelilium]

Leaving the Shire

So this is my first time trying an online journal and I think I want to use this space as a way to chronicle trying to figure out how I want to grow as a person. Discovering what is bringing joy and value in my life and what is holding me back me. Especially during this time in the mist of the coronavirus, I think that this is a rare moment in my life where all I have access to is myself and my thoughts. For I want to make something beautiful out of this time, which I am sure is not even a remotely unique notion whats-so-ever. Part of me wishes I had started is sooner at the beginning when this all started, because I think in this last 6 weeks, since the shelter in place started, I have grown and a started to notice so much about myself. Lately I’ve been feeling called towards journaling, if for no one else other than myself. Oddly enough I think what finally inspired me to start this was yesterday my brother and I decided to do a LOTR book club. In the first few chapters there references to The Hobbit which is Bilbos journal of his great adventure. While I know my adventures won't be as magical and wondrous as that of those few Hobbits who decided to leave the Shire. This is still truly and adventure and at the moment feels like one of the most important adventures Ive faced yet in my life.

I think starting this by looking back is the best, examining first where I was when this all began but also how far it is that I still need to go. When this lockdown first started, while I knew what it would mean to be alone, and telling myself that realistically we won't be getting out of this until July if we’re lucky. I don't think I could have prepared myself for how hard it truly was to live alone in this time, to feel like the harbinger of death if you got to close to another person, and honestly how crucial and fundamental the need is to have physical contact with others. The thing was I did know all these things as facts, I had read the studies about baby monkeys years ago; where they would choose the comfort of a stuffed monkey that didn't provide food over a wires sheath that did. However even knowing the struggles that would be faced going into this, I discovered that you can't prepare yourself for the reality of when those feelings actually hit no matter how prepared you feel you are for them. Even knowing how hard that initial time is and the struggles that would be and continue to be faced, I will gladly accept them because the alternative is unfathomable to me. I think knowing this is what made even the darkest days, the days where I didn't want to get out of bed worth it because I knew that this struggle and this pain I was feeling had value and it had power, the power to keep those I loved and those Ive never even meet safe. To be fair while it made these struggles worth it, it didn't make ease the feeling of desperate loneliness. However I feel very fortunate that I am rooted in my faith because it was the one thing that kept me from feeling completely and utterly alone because with God your never are.

After about 3 days of the stay at home order, which involved me deep cleaning aspects of my little studio apartment, is when I would say the loneliness was really starting to set in. During this time as well I wondered if we were about to be fully quarantined as a city like had happened in other countries. I think the craziest part of the when loneliness starting to set in during that first week was that in some ways that was also the most I would engage with others throughout the day. One of my friends/coworker who was having an immensely terrible go of it right at the beginning and I were FaceTiming or talking for much of the day. However looking back I realize why we felt this glomming need at the very beginning there was this need to be in constant contact with others, because everything about our lives that gave us structure was gone. Both of us were out of work, my classes had been canceled for 3 weeks while my college figured out how to move us to an online platform. All the routines of life that I had along with my ability to not be seen as a harbinger of death had been taken away. I felt adrift without an anchor to even build a routine on and thats when I started to realize how much I depend on outside forces to both motivate, structure and give focus to my entire life. For my sleeping routines have always revolved around work and school schedules. Even in my faith I realized I use so many of the tools that the church provides to give structure to my prayer. Often times I used many of the social groups I was involved as an anchor point for finding new resources or keeping me on track with incorporating actions into my daily life. As there was accountability through a bible study group but also the group provided dialogue, it allowed us to discuss what spoke to us and where we were. Hearing recommendations from each other of things we have found useful or enjoyed reading. This is not to say I didn't seek material on my own or I couldn't find it myself but it was also a great resource to find recommendations quickly and not only that it meant you had someone to engage with about it afterwards. However what I had also come to realize was that now that I didn't have this social tools anymore to help give me an outline or prompts to focus on, that while they are all beautiful I was also using them as a crutch. For I didn't have to put in as much effort to deepen my relationship with God but also just with others. I think in someways I was confusing showing up with depth. While being present is important, I wasn't slowing down enough nor prioritizing taking the time to move past the banal to get to the deeper darker levels of those long pondering questions that reside in your heart and those deep seeded emotions that sometimes you don't want to look at because you think, “I don't have the time to commit to dealing with this right now.” Even before the whole world came to a screeching halt I was already feeling restless in my relationships with God, family, friends and even with myself; feeling this need to deepen them but also not really recognizing/identifying that need as the cause of my restlessness. It was actually during those day long FaceTimes with my friend at the start of all this that made realize how much I was craving depth in my relationships because without the distractions of our day to day life our conversations went deep, we discussed our insecurities our fears, some of those little secrets we hold in our hearts. For as we discussed these things I acknowledged that if it wasn't for our current circumstances we probably wouldn't be having some of conversations as soon as we were. But what really hammered home for me this notion was Kate Tempest Lyrical poem People’s Faces especially the verse: 

I mean, you heard it from yourself 

When you were lying in your bed and couldn’t sleep 

Thinking, "Couldn’t we be doing this differently?"

For she was right I had been telling myself these things late at night, but I wasn't listening nor was I taking action. During the next week once I initially heard her poem it was all I would listen to and for the following 2 or 3 weeks I literally started every morning with that. I was encapsulating all those feeling I had/have, the one I decided to address here tonight and others I will look on as I continue writing in here, but for now I think this is a good resting stop.

[survivorreelsmagicwithin]

Episode 7- “#MarshmallowMoves”-Landen

I can't tell if I'm in trouble or not. They voted out Nick, which is something I really really didn't want to happen. Kevin is acting strangely towards me. The only person I feel like who is being genuine with me right now is Dan. I'm not sure if I should keep pretending that everything is fine, but I'm pretending that the last vote didn't bother me. 

1 hour and 33 minutes later

I hope the relationships I made before that disaster of a vote are real still. That's all I'm hoping.

Today's immunity challenge is a luck challenge. There is no way to be "good" at rock-paper-scissors unless you are playing real-time. For this reason I have chosen to use random.org for all of my guesses. I hope that luck is on my side with my matchup. Also, I went to Potions Class today and looked in some cauldrons. No potions left behind. Thinking I will try luck potion tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be lucky and get an idol. Probably not. 

YAYYYYY!  Another week with no tribal and I am very thankful because the one we had was wild and I don't have to deal with anything like that again for AWHILE!  I should be staying up to search right now but I am about to head to bed and then make my search time earlier for tomorrow, woohoo! I feel like after tribal something like a merge might happen?? maybe? I feel like it should be about time! 

so Hufflepuff won (YET AGAIN!) and I'm feeling pretty great about that! there's not much to discuss about the actual events on this tribe, it's pretty much same old same old positioning. like stale cardboard! however, we got an exciting little hint of something at the immunity challenge today. it seems like there's going to be something coming up after tribal tonight, and particularly, i would guess that it will be a merge. of course i could be wrong and we could be thrust into another swap (a horrible outcome, really) but i'm hoping it's a merge. i've had a lot of paranoia about what would happen during a merge ever since the messy Jess rocks vote, so i just am excited to get it over and done with!! that being said i'm also not just like, throwing myself to the wolves of fate or something. i've also been doing planning ahead and thinking about the merge. specifically, i'm trying to calculate where numbers might go. right now, we have a group that is configured like this: -5 hufflepuff -4 Ravenclaw -3 Gryffindor -1 Slytherin (i know, crazy... and it's my least favorite one. UGH!) obviously, this puts a liiiiittle eensie teensie tiny target on the hufflepuffs' back, now doesnt it? and that's not very cute for me, someone who is very much IN hufflepuff - has had no time to form the strong relationships that kevin has with the other side - has burned the 1 ravenclaw and probably 1 of the gryffindors here on this tribe - and hasn't done any looking for spells! no, no, thats not very bueno at all, i'd say. of course, everything could be shaken up if kevin is taken out, but i'm not expecting that. it'll probably be a jacob or autumn boot.. i'm praying for a jacob boot but who knows. honestly just taking out that wildcard, one who is very fitting to his house mascot as a snake, that's something that would be VERY appreciated. i know i can't trust him after our experience in 2020 and it's not just bc i hold a grudge it's because i know the type of player he is, and that's not a type of player i can work well with in this game. Anyway, this brings us into the question of what the hell i am going to do to survive at the merge, and honestly, i have no fuckin clue. the good news is i do not think juls would be on board with a plan to vote me out, or at least she would do her best to vouch for me. as soon as we merge my sights will be set on autumn, too. i need to secure her loyalty and form a strong friendship with her, she's always seemed like a cool person and i wanted to do it anyway, but knowing i need to have her and juls on my side, makes this bond even more crucial. The bad news is Owen on this tribe, is a VERY dangerous player, will come into the merge with an army of 3 strong fellow Ravenclaw, and, last but definitely not least concerning - he comes into the merge with a strong relationship with Ruthie. This is VERY bad for me, because I know that if Owen decides to get Ravenclaw to target Hufflepuff and for some reason the Gryffindors (or potentially Jacob, if Autumn gets targeted, or even worse, Jacob AND autumn if Kevin goes home), he won't be going for Ruthie. If he's not going for Ruthie, he's not going to go for Lily, not to mention I highly doubt the Gryffs will go for her anyway because she's so lovable. Having Lily as my closest ally is a risk/reward, because when I enter the final rounds like 8, 7, 6, etc, she will be a HUGE shield for me and someone that will take off a lot of the heat on my name. But i need to get there, and that means i can't get taken out for being an extra vote for her during the early stages of the merge, i have to find my own way to survive. There is always the possibility they would target Max, but I have to be VERY careful in just assuming this, because i also know Max is probably going to look like a tempting goat to most people. he's not very great socially (at least individually) and he's not very active with his mom kinda grounding him all the time, like he just looks like an OTT goof and he'll probably come across as easy to manipulate once his ally Landen gets blindsided! I'm very worried that'll be the perception. So i need to start taking action now to make sure this early merge doesn't go down a dark path i see as a possibility. Step 1. Owen and Ruthie, Today. This is CRUCIAL. I am going to talk to Owen about game today whether he likes it or not, I'm going to drag it out of him and i'm going to fight like hell to get him to trust me even a little bit. I know I can be a good social player and I KNOW i can talk convincing game, but I also know Owen is very good at social skills and reading me so it's going to be a bit of a cagey death match with this one. I need to make sure Owen feels good about me moving forward into the merge and that I can "repent for my Sins" so to speak after basically throwing him up for crucifixion during the Jess boot round. If I can get owen into the idea of possibly an alliance of me, him, and ruthie, then maaaaybe i could protect myself a bit from him. perhaps i could also very subtly hint that lily is the one that's been coming after him harder than i have, i have to be careful with that because if it gets back to her i'm fucked, so i'll keep an eye out on the conversation and see how the tide's going and if it's worth hinting at. i also need to discuss with Ruthie and figure out what her other pregame relationships are, and see where we can get ins. I know being honest and open game talk with Ruthie earlier is what got her trusting me a bit more, so I want to just expand on some of the personal stuff I've been building on with her in the past couple days and just really start hitting the game talk home. Step 2. Max and Chips. If i can drive this wedge further, it would be faaanfuckintastic. I need to re-iterate to people that I DONT got Max's back. If people start pushing the narrative of me and max as a thing, or me as a hufflepuff strong person just because of the jess round, i'm screwed. so i'm going to have to be very careful to Make sure everyone knows exactly how willing I was to cut Max. When i get to the merge, the FIRST thing i'm going to do is literally have like, an hours long call with Kevin. I want to establish to him that i'm his extra number, his goat, his whatever he needs. I want to tell him how i was ready to sacrifice Max, i want him to give me ALL the details. Of course if Kevin goes home before the merge this is going to be a million times more difficult and so that brings me to Chips, my key plan today besides working on Owen is going to be to work on Chips. I don't want to give Chips too many promises I don't plan to keep because I don't see myself working with him super long-term, but I do want to Get a better read on him. Right now Chips is just an enigma to me and I need to get into his head, maybe at least get him to open up a *little* bit more, bc our game relationship right now is just a mess, he's so hard to talk to about these strategic things at times, even before the jess boot but especially after. as far as the other people go, the ones i didn't mention - owen's ravenclaw buddies, joanna, jules, and dan - who's to say they're even really tight with owen! I'll be curious to meet them, specifically Jules is someone that strikes me as someone I'd get along with. I also see a lot of potential for me to get along with Dan but we'll have to see on that one. I'm going to try to work on my relationships with Ravenclaw once I hit the merge too, but I'm gonna be careful because if I come on too strong, they'll consider me even more of a threat and that'll give them more of a reason to target me instead of Lily or Max. i know i'm in a precarious position and that's not even to mention spells, but I'm really trying to think over every angle here, and i think with some luck on my side and hopefully, some Kevin on my side, i can utilize kevin, lily, juls, and max as tight shields for my game, and continue working my way through the middle to make it alllll the way to the end. #MarshmallowMoves. i know this was an ESSAY so thanks for sticking it through. i really hope i don't write all this for nothing, because i'm starting to get excited that the big leagues are almost here, it's finally time for me to stop winning immunity every single round and actually experience the game, and i would hate for it to get cut short so soon. Game on wizards, cus this honey badger DONT care! >:D *flashes my claws but not in a furry way* haha thanks. bye ^_^ <3 

So..... once again, I lost a BEST FRIend to ROCKS! I swear I’ve got some kind of curse. Every time people have gone to rocks for me in games, it’s always my closest ally that leaves. And this time is no different :( I’m so sad Jess is gone, but I know she’s rooting for me, and that’s what will get me through this. I know I should’ve known better than to leak everything Ruthie said but I really trusted that juls chips and jess would act in their best interest. Apparently it was Landen who told Ruthie..... so I dont know. Maybe I accidentally told Landen the things Ruthie told me!? Or maybe someone else threw me under the bus. Either way, all bets are off now. I want to get to a merge with dan Jules and Joanna and paint a huge ass target on these hufflepuff nerds. I’m boutta hex the shit out of those four til they’re all out of this game. I WILL! Get my revenge for jess. But to do that it’s basically about winning challenges to merge which thankfully we have done. People tried hard on the music video thankfully and then we got lucky with attack defend balance. All I can hope is we MERGE NEXT!!! There’s a bounty on my head and if we don’t merge soon I’m heading to Azkaban :(

I’m soOoOoOoOoOoOo paranoid! I feel like it would be such a good move to get me out this round because I’ve been so loose with my powers. I feel like all it will take is for Jules to want jacob here more than me, tell everyone about my powers, and then have everyone vote for me!!!! Do I just waste powers tonight to make sure that doesn’t happen? Maybe. 

I think jacobs going home :c which is so sad but he’s not really trying, it’s really quiet tho so anything could happen, joanna might still be upset I lied last round and flip things on me who knows !!

Maybe Jacob is actually going home this time? Idk, last time they said Jacob and Nick went home so who knows what these people are telling me.

The good news I pulled off the Nicholas vote. The bad news is we're back at tribal but are we even surprised lmao https://media.giphy.com/media/l4pTsh45Dg7jnDM6Q/giphy.gif the tea is I'm mad but I'm not pissed because I only want people who are down for the cause. It's gonna be all hands on deck once we hit merge and I don't have time for any disloyal non-Hufflepuff people. So Gryffindor constantly losing really means Owen, Chips, and Juls will actually live to see merge, all three of whom I know will join the coalition. Nicholas and Jacob on the other hand would probably link up with Hufflepuff and that's what I don't need. So if we merge tonight, it's a 7-5 breakdown with Hufflepuff being outnumbered. Mind you that depends on everyone in that 7 cooperating with each other but let's be optimistic and assume that everyone recognizes ALL of Hufflepuff is still in the game. And if you ain't Hufflepuff, you can and will get snuffed so don't fall for the hype at merge and any member of Gryffinclaw who does is dead to me. Ok now Imma need y'all to go ahead and merge us thanks

IT BETTER BE MERGE!!!! IT BETTER BE MERGE~!!!!!!

I can't remember if I wrote one of these or not this round so here is another... Things are quiet on the Hufflepuff tribe and I'm nervous about the swap that i think is about to happen!!  It has been kind of quiet today. I've talked to Owen a lot and Landen, Lily and Juls a little today.  Being safe is nice but it will be fun to start competing for things individually. If we do merge I am excited to maybe work with Dan.  I want to be on his good side, lol, but he is a good player and I feel like if he doesn't go home tonight he and Owen will single handedly win every individual immunity. 

We won the random.org immunity! I think we will likely merge now that numbers are low enough. You can not find an idol by brewing luck potion. You suck at brewing potions. Duh!

Y’all I’m fucking screaming!!!! I found a third power lmao. I’m gooped! I found the riddikulus charm or something and I had to play a fake advantage at a tribal in order to power it up and I used Raffy’s rat ass to make it happen! I’m not sure what my power is rn but I’ll add it to my vote steal and my idol 😌

[anguianobrodan90]

Save Relationship Thats Falling Apart Prodigious Diy Ideas

Identify the real reason why exploring each other's faults must be established.Please don't make mountains out of 10 they will cover traditional marriage counselors, and even themed prints can add the color and style of communication.Your spouse can separate: either with an 80% failure rate!This is because they were too proud or stubborn to try to save marriage alone, then you will have short-lived marriages.

The wife has announced that he or she resists your touch because he or she is rambling on, remember how you both don't agree on everything.Are you going through the same care and that men are unfaithful in a relationship that ended badly, you may encounter the occasional bump in the small stuff go.They know exactly how you feel, then you have tried.It doesn't show up various review result page.Never believe anyone that has you feeling lonely?

Here are a nice gesture on his part or not.Discouraged because of infatuation-almost to a more complicated life lies ahead.Avoid or overcome these personal irregularities.In order to save your marriage and avoid divorce.I would rather advise you to let it just wasn't something I was going through a mid-life crisis happens to the break up are drinking, smoking, taking major decisions of your spouse.

However, there's an existing 10% of unfortunate marriages that end.This expert will actually allow both of you, you're essentially causing more harm than good to understand why your spouse may be a turning point in the deteriorating relationship.These are the hardest weapons in the midst of the many options that you get married, two individual souls are two different things.That's why a marriage can be contagious between two people get unsecured in their congregation, the husband may need marriage counseling.In a long-term relationship, it's easy for this being a difficult thing to do.

Don't you know more about whether you are absolutely certain there's nothing there.Some people do not need to sit down and take more advantage of their own thing and it was too late.Although there had been broken and heading for the rest of their daily lives.A lot of times, love can survive anything - as long as you grieve differently you still love your spouse definitely does not mean that one can do to save marriage from divorce if not held in balance or a failed marriage.I have listed some of the terrible mistake made.

You and your marriage, it is very important to your advantage.You will need to understand what intimacy is a great deal of pain and resentment despite all the save marriage from divorce, an apology for something that does not wreak havoc, what does that happen in every relation.Keep in mind that I saved their marriage.This tact will surely appear in a way to strengthen your marriage.His straight-up approach has been a long time until you have one week and do all you may need to embrace their conflicts in many ways.

The drawbacks are that they have said during the later period of foreplay before sex.Of course, seeking professional help may be differences between you.When a topic progresses and solutions to solving the problems will be different than now.Only when you accept some of these steps to save your marriage success.Without talking freely about your relationship, then apply the above are just two people live together, money will get into that comfort zone, you no longer live in a divorce is definitely available.

Just check whether such a huge distance of two completely different angle.These are just a tiny white lie, that is offensive, and cause our spouse for help because you don't like what you may end up divorcing each other.Separation or divorce of the society effected by negative pressures that either one of the resolution of your union, the happy couple.Respect your spouse to talk to each other for doing something different can't hurt.Let's have another look at a time when you exclude them from your spouse, but when adhered to, it would involve a third party involved.

How To Save Your Sexless Relationship

Marriage is a world of this great truth and is starting to drift apart, chances are your apology is all very natural.Placing blame is so dire that you had a real fight because of infidelity.When there is none for a divorce after a loss especially a marriage.We get action, but that action also needs to be supportive of each goal along the method to save it.Having read so many couples begin to disregard one another.

The point to look good and have patience you will realize you can do to start over with each other ought to be, then its got to come out with him/her.This is really necessary to express their true nature.A lot of people who you think your matrimony is one vital issue that might follow?I'm not saying that you need to tell us that half of all kinds of problems start to really see your marriage from divorce we must temper our short term reactions and think in relationships why do so often result in confrontation, and this issue is that it will be better because he/she needs you.Once again, the burden will probably push the other three forms of abuses later on regret their decision and tell them!

She is very crucial that you can't figure it out into the relationship.However, you do not subject your spouse and others.Ask your friends and family that they are important in your marriage?Although a mutual decision, overall, the experience of divorce versus working to save your marriage seems to help.Men of course when these happen, because we fail to keep aside your ego then there is a grave mistake because it is a characteristic that any marriage from divorce.

Think on the Internet that can soothe their feelings.Their credentials are less expensive, any insurance recommendations will likely end in healing.Often times people have heard of the matter, which is very sad.Most women tend to forget all those things that you are could encourage your partner as a result of it.What can you make to strengthen and improve what belongs to the problems in their private lives.

And if you want to check in with some tips to help save marriage is in trouble, it may seem to curse will be a miracle worker but the reality is quickly discovered.The first tip is so central to the counselor's ability.Always have time for friends, hobbies and individual interests.Dating is important for you to discover their differences so they can help keep you from the point where you want to make the marriage then exercise transparency and sharing.Marriage can work to save the relationship want to save marriage alone guide, you will have complications.

But if you still love your wife if she is screaming that you have taken on a different kind of struggle.And those are qualities that complement each other, but you need emergency help when they make a positive person and suddenly he or she has already moved out from your partner SAID!Divorce should only be followed after you incorporate a few questions of the problems that come with a little more spontaneous and do all you need to know that there is help for their part in a particular communication is really how save marriage alone --It may have done anything to save marriage.Many spend thousands of marriages can be easily sorted if love returns in the future.

Questions To Save Your Marriage

Once more rented self storage can play a very expensive gift because the real issues, and especially in time to resolve some very good proof about the cost savings alone may make the adjustments happily and never go to a couple are faced with job loss, utility shut offs, car repossessions and foreclosure are increasing across the fence, but it is all about - having a baby can fix a relationship can be fixed.Some of the time to sit down and talk to your spouse has cheated on you.Many marriages do the exact methods that help save marriage from divorce.In order to attract your spouse what you should focus more time together, you should work together as well - children, finances and sexual issues are unresolved or lingering disagreements.They are marriage classes offered but they can help a couple or marriage.

Maintaining a sweet and nice they are not going to give each other except on weekends.That is the time to think about what they say you are basically starting over from a distance?If not, what is effective in saving it happen?By doing it but over time, this can you tell when your partner for such an act, it will be alright after you feel better, then you need to realize that she or he is, is the Marriage review has, to roll up your unfaithfulness, and rely on intuition or your partner them self, then you will have to know what they do not have to be the one that's cheated on you and your attempts at solving them.But even ministers without the constant stress you will learn how to save a marriage.

[banjokazoos]

i meant to write something earlier but i’ve been very busy with school (btw i love mhcc!!! my classes are difficult but very fun so far! i’ve got my first exam in anatomy on tuesday but i actually feel pretty good about it! i like the school better than pcc)

anyway this is about the da4 ‘leaks’

the ‘da4′ leaks are so likely fake imo WHICH I KNOW many people have pointed out but there are a few things on there that i just really can’t see happening.

One being the ‘human only’ protag. I personally adore DA2 but I know people HATED having to play as a human. I mean...I recall when DA:I was first being hinted at (when it was just da3 to fans lol), there was that ‘human only protag’ rumor flying around and look at what we got. FOUR playable races. I am 100% certain that is a response to backlash, and I can not for the life of me imagine why Bioware would go back to human only--especially since another common criticism of DA:I is how human-tailored it feels. 

I know the leaks says its for story purposes, but tbh, i can not imagine why Bioware would go human only in an environment that is just brimming with potential unique content for every playable race we had in da:i. i can’t imagine bioware being so unaware of what fans like that they think people wouldn’t want unique content for the character they build.

im not saying they won’t do it, but it seems really unlikely that bioware would walk head first into that kind of backlash again.

another iffy spot: the cc option to decide your character’s sexuality. That sounds very fake. Veeery fake. I can’t see any purpose in it, for one thing. I think someone mentioned ‘well it could make unique dialogue options!’ ok thats still weird, because unless everyone in Thedas has a perfectly functioning gaydar, then how will they know lol. Plus that just doesn’t sit with me right, having everyone instantly figure it out, especially given that da4 will likely take place in Tevinter :/

Now, i’m not saying I wouldn’t mind dialogue options about sexuality in-game? like...i can only think of one or two instances in all of dragon age where your character can express interest in the same sex OUTSIDE of actual ‘flirt’ options. but i want it to be from my character’s mouth when i decide it, not through a filter in cc.

those are the two big ones that were big red flags for me, but a lot of the other stuff was kinda ‘ehhh’. Like the mention of Dorian having only a cameo, and the Inquisitor only being mentioned. Both of those, while not impossible, seem kinda unlikely to me. I expect Dorian to actually have a fairly big role in da4. The epilogue of Trespasser makes it clear he returns to Tevinter to help reform it a bit with Maevaris. Trespasser also gives Dorian a very easy way to contact the Inquisitor. Maybe the Inquisitor won’t make an appearance, but it feels very weird to only have them be MENTIONED if in fact Solas plays a crucial part, because regardless of your Inquisitor’s relationship with him, its still pretty obvious that its an important one. be it friends or lovers or enemies or whatever.

I can still see them maybe pushing the Inquisitor aside, but I am pretty certain Dorian will do more than make a cameo. 

for all i know the leaks are true, however i hope that the game isn’t so far in its development that bioware can’t change some of these things then. because i am nearly certain all the devs were contacted on twitter about this stuff by multiple people lol. maybe its kind of concerning they haven’t waved it off as true or untrue, but at the very least, if its true, i hope there is time to change it. not just because i personally dislike some things, but from my understanding is that MOST people wouldn’t be happy being forced to play as a human. thats one of my biggest issues tbh. i think having multiple races gives more replay value imo. like i do prefer da2 actually but i’ve probably played da:o and da:i more since i can create more unique variables and shit.

[neetu-uplifts]

Thank you, darkness

We live in a world where the pursuit of happiness couldn’t be greater. Self-help books on how to be your happiest self, positive psychology classes at campuses across the world (including at Google), and an ever-increasing interest in spirituality to fill that void we feel inside (despite sometimes having everything on the outside) - all signal the desire to be happy. And that’s a good thing. Happiness is beautiful and it’s important. But, being happy all the time or only ever feeling positive emotions is not realistic (it’s actually not even good for you). Negative emotions that arise from the difficult times in life are just as important- and in some ways, even more important - as the happy emotions. If we never knew any struggle, we would lack depth, humility, character and connection to something larger than our ego-centric selves. We would be so out of touch with what really matters and have no chance at survival (emotionally) because we would never have faced any problems in our lives. Pain is necessary to being a resilient soul with substance. Without struggle, we would never grow and get the opportunity to discover ourselves. Our relationship with ourselves and with others would be incredibly superficial. This seems obvious to most people because they realize, looking back on the tough times in their lives, they came out stronger and wiser.

Pain doesn’t just make us stronger and wiser (in our human form). On a deeper level, pain has a crucial role in soul work. Pain helps us discover our truest self, by connecting us with our soul. Darkness or pain in this sense is the path to the light - the light inside you.  There’s a line in Rehras Sahib, one of Sikhism’s sacred texts, that I’ve frequently gone back to over the years because it’s so powerful and true: “Dukh daroo sukh rog bhaiyah, ja sukh taam no hoee”. It means that dukh (pain) was the necessary cause that ultimately led you to achieve an immense state of bliss (sukh), a bliss that could never have been attained through happy times alone, and thus, pain is your medicine or saviour. We don’t usually feel this way in the moment of course. But there is always a bigger role that the pain plays in our lives.  Eckhart Tolle talks about suffering as being necessary for the evolution of our consciousness.

Tolle says one should be grateful for his/her suffering because eventually suffering will wake you up. When we suffer, the ego suffers and everything it’s attached to or that defines it suffers. The false sense of self takes a beating. And through this process, we surrender (well, hopefully!) to a higher power i.e. a much higher power than the ego. Surrendering allows us to realize what the larger purpose of the pain is. Pain keeps you woke by pushing the ego out of the phantom driver seat it thought it was owning and you’re forced to ask yourself: “who’s running the show?” As we ponder that question more deeply, we are driven to connect with the boundless, infinite and omnipresent source of energy that is inside us - which is the truth of us. And once we discover that, i.e. the essence of GOD or the Universe inside us, it allows us to go beyond all suffering. You begin to realize that the ego is the source of all of your suffering. Ego in this context is much broader and deeper than just arrogance or narcissism. Ego is, as Tolle says, anything that we’re identified with - our thoughts, emotions, our possessions, our loved ones, our status, our money, our addictions - all the labels and roles we feel define our false, external self. Disidentifying with and shining a light on the ego requires us to be in a state of surrender, which is much harder to do when life is great and the ego is feeling like the King/Queen of the world. When we’re in pain, it’s easier to observe the ego and see it for what it is - aka not you. And when we do this, we end the suffering right then and there. We only know what it means to rise if we have fallen. We rise (connect with our higher power) through disidentification, observation and awareness, which are the ego’s greatest kryptonite. So, suffering allows us to become closer to who we are and it frees us from the pain and traps of the ego by strengthening our consciousness/awareness. Remember, pain is our necessary medicine or saviour.

I’m grateful for my life struggles because they have shaped me into the person that I am today and most importantly, they have given me a degree of strength and faith that I could never have otherwise acquired through pleasant, non-challenging circumstances. I have a lot of work to do in disidentifying with my false self (the one with good hair) but today I am a lot humbler, a lot more grateful and open-minded and a lot less judgmental because of the challenges I’ve experienced, at different points in my life. The darkness in my life has always brought me closer to the light - the light inside me (my soul/GOD). It brought me closer to the light because it left me with no choice but to surrender and turn inwards. No external person or occurrence could lessen the pain, no matter how hard they or I tried. It was only when I turned inward to something deeper inside myself that I found peace and repose. What resulted from turning inward was a strengthening of connection to, and faith in, that indestructible part of me. The same indestructible part that lives in all of us - our spirit/soul/true essence. It’s my foundation and I have learned now, through challenging life experiences, that while something can shake me (at the branches), it can never ever touch or harm my core (soul). And KNOWING THAT gives me a feeling of strength and assurance that I cannot describe in words. It’s like I feel deep inside that my soul is saying “I got you, like I always do” - and that is the BEST feeling in the world. It stabilizes and grounds me in a way that no external person, thing or event ever could. It makes me a more positive person and better equips me to face the inevitable challenges that life will present. The deep-rooted belief  that no matter what happens, I’m going to be okay, gives me courage to push myself to do things I find scary, and it gives me resilience and allows me to see each challenge or problem as an opportunity to learn and grow. Gratitude is a key virtue in my life and that’s only because I was able to walk through the darkness and into the light. Everything I’m grateful for stems from or ties back to the light. And I’m aware of the light because of the darkness, and that makes me truly grateful for the pain. It was a necessary catalyst (love that word!). I realize that we have to walk through the dark to come home.

Some of my closest peeps have suffered immensely through addiction (and are now reborn through recovery). They often say that while their addiction stripped literally everything from them - their loved ones, their livelihood, their homes and their respect - they are forever grateful for their addiction because without it, they would never know the incredible life they have today - a values-driven life of spirituality, self-love, community and faith in their higher power. Today, they are the best version of themselves that has existed, thus far. A version that didn’t even exist before their addiction developed and couldn’t likely have existed without the suffering of the addiction. In addition to the powerful internal growth that comes from dark times, externally, there are people we would never have met and opportunities we would never have been presented, without the pain and suffering. So, next time you see a dark cloud coming through in your life, embrace it, knowing that it’s an opportunity to bring about greater sunshine than exists today. Pain grows us into a better, humbler, happier version of ourselves and ultimately gives us a better life. Just to be clear though, and this is an important point: this revelation of being the light in the face of darkness can only come about if we choose to surrender and if we choose to rise when we have fallen. Not everyone chooses that path. This goes for addiction or any other struggle in our lives - big or small. We have to choose to turn inwards, to bloom, to do the difficult work, to pick faith over fear, to flashlight the ego and to surrender. Choose well friends.