#the Charles brainrot is overwhelming

[bruciemilf]

i just want u to know that the thomas and martha lore with them fighting joe chill is everything to me. so is like everything else u post. brainrot is so fun i love it

After watching some old movies, I really want Bruce to interact with Martha's family more. The Kanes in my mind are stern, cut-throat, and ruthless in a very graceful way.

Phillip Kane (played by Charles Dance) is like that one relative from vintage Hollywood films that you have to deep clean the whole house for when they visit.

Bruce cleans it, thought. Alfred couldn't give two fucks. The poor boy is stressed though, " Yes, it's not you he scolds for a single grain of dust on the furniture."

"Self preservation is an acquired skill, sir."

Dick's never seen Bruce like that. Frantic, moving from one place to another, energised by sheer stress. He also doesn't understand what's with all these rules! "But I wanna show Tim how to play on the chandelier!"

"Not this week, darlings, please," Bruce is constantly on high alert, "Uncle Philip doesn't,--"

"Doesn't forgive lack of manners."

Philip Kane marches through the manor, sharp as ever in his military suit, bedazzled in shiny medals. He's aged both roughly and like wine, blessed with the ability to own the whole air. " And in my day, we obeyed our parents without question."

Alfred merely steps in front of Dick, Tim, and Jason, "In your day we discovered fire. Mr. Kane. Forgive us for not being interested in outdated customs."

"Alfred. Transparent as always, I see. The bald spots are new."

" The stress of unwanted guests. What's your excuse?"

Philip scoffs, merely raising an eyebrow, but somewhere under that grey titan there's a glimpse of amusement. Bruce thinks he can breathe freely, for a second, but his uncle drags a white gloved finger on the piano.

It's slightly gray, and he's rendered with a classic look of disapproval. "I take it your education isn't the only thing you've abandoned?"

"I-I tried, Uncle Philip, but,--"

"Try? You either fail, or you don't." Bruce's faces collapses with shame and Philip sighs, as if he's seen all this before,

" Just like your father. I've told my sister this is what happens with Wayne men. They always pick the easy way. What a waste of greatness."

Bruce's mouth burns with defenses for his father. It's no secret Philip never approved of Thomas. He made it abundantly clear when he didn't attend the wedding or funeral.

Right when Alfred is about to say something, Dick charges forward, little fists striking Philip's knees, '' Don't you talk about my Tati that way! He's strong, and brave, and gives great kisses!"

Little of course joins his big brother, " Meanie!"

"You'll sleep in the attic if you're not nice! That's where I put Tim when B isn't home!"

Bruce is overwhelmed with the love his children have for him. He gathers them up in his arms and gives them each a storm of kisses. Philip hums, examining the scene.

" ...Acceptable. We'll have to improve on those punches. Pennyworth, do your job for once and fetch my bags."

" Oh, fetch them yourself, you bloody cunt."

"Hn."

[theemporium]

Hooooooly shit I just got off of work AND AHHH MORE PPL ARE FEEDING MY BRAINROT WITH ROYAL LESTAPPEN. HELL YEAH.

Also general question to you and the other anons: do we actually like queenie as a nickname? I just kinda went with it after the original confusion.

Ok ok ok so so so more brainrot time

This little SHIT of a head knight would be sooooo fucking smug (privately unless they’re in the bedroom) that he bagged not one but TWO royals (to the anon that brought this up; your so real for this). And they’re from THE two most powerful kingdoms in the realms…. Oh he is sooooo smug and is such a little shit about it if he gets a chance.

I’m adding to my personal head cannon from the powerful kingdoms here… let’s assume that Charles and queenies betrothal is an alliance thing, since the two kingdoms have been at war for GENERATIONS. One is successful because of their kindness and generosity, the other because they’re feared. Even better they’re neighboring kingdoms, and queenie is an only child (not, her dads a manwhore but she’s the only one with a claim to the throne). So with the betrothal, there is also an agreement that when queenies parents abdicate/die the kingdoms are gunna be merged… yeah max is SO FUCKING SMUG.

Which just makes the Jos is alive and trying to get max to fuck over the royal family even better bc he KNOWS that the kingdom is going to get more powerful at one point and he wants that power.

But also once max puts his foot down and says to hell with jos’s plan, his is trying to assassinate queenie. Charles is fine, he likes Charles, but let’s go with the theory that Sophie (maxs mom) was his second wife and an assassin or something of the sort from queenies home kingdom killed his first wife. Which is why queenie is his main target and not max

Ok I have more ideas but I’m stopping here I’m getting hangry

Also is the 🦒 emoji taken yet? I’m forgetting my (and yours IM SORRY BTW) indecisiveness for now and am going with the tallest animal I can find bc I’m also a “giant” (according to my friends)

I don’t know why the assassination plot gave me flashbacks to ella enchanted😭that scene where she fights back against the curse and doesn’t kill the prince like she was intended to. I don’t know why that came to mind but it did!!!

but the way that max originally trained/became a knight because his father wanted someone in the inner circle. the fact it started as a way to please his father but then he fell for the king. and then the queen. and for a few months, it’s so easy for max to feel like he’s living the perfect life until jos steps back into his life

and imagining max first pulling away from charles and the reader because he doesn’t want his father to know. but then he does it because he doesn’t want jos tainting this pure thing in his life, or hurting the people he loves

and maybe charles and reader knew his relationship with his father was rocky, but when they find out the truth??? when they find out how badly max was treated??? THEY ARE HAPPY TO SHOW JOS WHY THEY WEAR THE CROWNS AND NOT HIM AND MAX IS JUST SO OVERWHELMED BY THESE TWO PEOPLE WHO LOVE HIM ENDLESSLY

[emmcfrxst]

hi friend! i was thinking about the charles makeout you talked about and wanted to share my brainrot, namely how close he would pull you and how warm he is and how safe being in his arms feels and how you get so overwhelmed but in the best way possible and i need to lie down now

when he’s not cradling the back of your head he’s cupping the side of your neck with a large, calloused but oh so tender hand </3