#the almighty speaks

[blorbocedes]

I respect adrian newey greatly. I'm not gonna cope and pretend he wasn't integral to redbull and its success. he's a true genius of the sport, guy just gets aero in a way that's never been aero'd before. if f1 is truly an engineering sport then he's the peak of it. his redbull cars have carried them through not one but two domination eras, but my god what eras they were. more than a decade of greatness, we were absolutely blessed. and now it is time for a new chapter.

that being said, respectfully, may whatever team's car he designs next fall apart, may the air run hot and the engines collapse, may it make the merc no sidepod concept look like a stroke of genius at how badly it functions, praying on that mechanical DNF week in week out, In Sha Allah 🙏

[phoenixcatch7]

Okay you know what actually yeah. I was tired but I had a point.

Why. On earth. In zelda fics. Do people not shut up about everything being hylia's fault forever and ever.

Like, the one deity out of a dozen odd who got cursed into this right alongside Link. All the focus on one great all being power who then gets blamed or blessed for everything that ever happens. It's just... I don't know, it just seems like a culturally Christian thing. Not even that - American catholic.

Especially Legend omg when people write him he never shuts up about how everything bad that's ever happened to him is all hylia's fault and she's doing it on purpose with no thought to her poor beleagured hero. He sounds like someone who grew up in an American conservative household who turned out to be queer and never bothered to unpack any of it and acts like he's now atheist.

But even then you could do something interesting with that!! The common headcanon that Legend is hylian royalty - of course that family would put immense worth and worship on hylia as her descendants, she who founded their kingdom. And maybe legend could feel bitter about not inheriting the magic, or the throne, or whatever meant he grew up away from the castle. Give him some unexamined religious trauma! Heck, he could bond with Flora over disappointing your family's expectations or something! They could work on unpacking it together! If you must make it part of his character at least think about why!

Because that belief is wrong, because hylia is literally the one deity we can pretty safely understand is not all seeing, all knowing, all being.

Every time she has a voice, a role, we see her make mistakes or be tricked and have regrets.

Skyward sword, she's literally zelda. She's a young protective warrior goddess (she used a sword and lead armies to battle against demise) who was created by the Three to guard the triforce and keep watch over hyrules lands. By the time ss starts she's already made several tough calls, not limited to yoinking hylians into the sky. When she was zelda she hated every second of leading Link around and even then!! It all hinged on him being completely willing! He was never forced to do anything, she didn't even have her memories with the plan until after she'd fallen to the surface! Their relationship was entirely genuine and she very nearly overestimated her own willingness to go through with the plan! And even then she still managed to get kidnapped lmao. That's not what happens when you're in charge of fate.

And in botw and totk - she's in her full divine form, her full divine powers, she's ancient and magic and worshipped in every corner of the kingdom. And (spoilers!) she loses contact with one of her own mf statues. Not just any ten apples high chibi statue you see in the towns, no, it's The Big One. She's got no idea what happened to it, but she's (rightfully) worried, and asks Link to check it out. And in an entirely separate instance, her OTHER big statue in the ToT gets overridden!! By a triangle head! And ol creep in the deep is the one who releases the statue! It's been what 20k years of power and worship - if she's not all powerful then she never will be.

Hyrule - every hyrule - is very, very polytheistic. She's not even a goddess of time to be in charge of stuff like that! There's multiple of them: Naryu, Cia (and Lana), Farosh to an extent, and many artifacts that can cause time travel, like the harp of ages, the ocarina, the big portal in ss, those time shift stones in the same game, the statue in wind waker. Please stop treating her like the magic elf equivalent of Monotheistic American Christianity God.

She was introduced in skyward sword. The game that came out before botw. She did not exist in any of the games that came before that. There was a lake hylia! In the kingdom hyrule! That's it! Her name or even existence wasn't even hinted at before that. It's actually canonically pretty unlikely any of the chain (cough cough legend) have even heard of her! And her assigned job is protector of the triforce. That's it. And she can't even use the thing. She can very explicitly as a main driving force of the ss plot not use the triforce she protects. And the triforce, shockingly, is not even in every game.

Cases that hylia often gets the most flack for (links awakening and all the trauma from that, Link failing in botw, the events of totk) hylia has absolutely zero part in. Hilariously. And she has zero power over wishes made to the triforce or who makes those wishes or what the triforce does about it.

She even gets all the blame for the cycle of the hero, the reincarnation! Which? We know exactly how that happened. Blaming her for a curse she herself is a victim to?? Demise, in skyward sword, explicitly, on screen, doing it ON PURPOSE, cursing the spirit of the hero and the blood of the goddess.

Hylia, I don't know if you've noticed, also has her own blood. Whether or not she lost that blood upon return to her divine form, she still couldn't break the curse. Link, spirit now tied to whatever demise had cooking up, is basically to reincarnate in time for whenever the Interesting Times happen. And it's demise's fault, who, again, did it on screen, on purpose, explicitly, pointing at the camera with text bolded and everything.

So why do people even blame her? I think it comes down to this:

Her name matches the kingdom. Whatever her connection to the people with the same name, I don't know, but she did found the surface kingdom as a mortal. Being named zelda at the time I wonder who chose the name XD!

Her worship in botk as a high ranking deity. Again, not monotheistic, there's temples to the Three and there's Malanya and Satori and the great fairies and the yiga worship ganon, but hylia is the most widespread for all she's basically a side character working for the new heart piece situation. Again, this is only the case in ss/botk, she doesn't appear in even aoc.

A misguided belief spread in fanfiction that in linked universe, hylia is the one opening and controlling the portals. To my knowledge, lu canon is that the portals are opened by dark link, or at least that's the working theory. I think it's assumed that hylia is the one who gathered the heroes together to combat it? If that's true? Congratulations! We have one (very plot necessary) act of hers in a fan comic. That is not canon to The Legend Of Zelda series.

An american Christian (I hesitate to say evangelican?) cultural understanding of religion. The differences between polytheism and monotheism. How one might feel if the divine was proven real on earth. Zelda is a Japanese property, it is not a Christian country. Though it draws aesthetic inspiration from western medieval fantasy it is not and never will be culturally western. The majority of ao3/tumblr users are American or at least English speaking, and that will always affect interpretation. It's giving 'be thankful to God no matter what for he always has a plan. Trust in him and your suffering will be rewarded' which is not a universal religious belief.

Something I've noticed to be surprisingly common in fandom, is where a mentor or figure of authority who is anything less than perfect or all forgiving can very quickly have their reputation ripped to shreds by the fandom. And then newer authors come, read those works, internalise that about the characters and produce new works that assume that character's cruelty to be par for the course. I will not be listing those characters or fandoms for a variety of reasons lol. But it is amazingly common and very hard to untangle, especially in larger fandoms. It's character bashing in a way near identical to cancelling people irl. It's not 'giving them depth' or 'making it more realistic' (grittier equalling realism is an ice cold take proliferated by dudebro comic authors and wrong besides.) Have some critical thinking.

Lately, I've also been running into a great many fics (not so much comics) that make hylia do some fairly heinous stuff... And then unironically blame her for it. They do remember they're the ones deciding what the characters do, right? She's not an abusive master playing with her puppets until they break, she's quite the opposite! Use the right tags (dark hylia/ooc characters/character bashing/author made them do it, idk) or dial it back. This is a growing percentage of fics and I'll never restrict content but yanno, if you're going to make hylia evil or manipulative at least understand it's a canon deviation (and do something interesting with it, I once read an amazing botw fic with evil hylia and fierce deity!).

TLDR, To summarise, hylia is canonically incapable both emotionally and physically of doing the majority of things characters in fics blame her for. Stop using her as a scapegoat especially when demise is right there. Please give your whumpees deeper characterisation than hating on hylia. Please give legend deeper characterisation than hating on hylia every time he or someone else is sad. Please remember wild can talk to hylia if he wants. Please double check anything you're not sure about :D!

[homicidalbrunette]

Hey here's three minutes of Plane Jane and Katya vibing/flirting you're welcome

[defectzim]

Zim showing off MiniMoose to the tallest? :)

THEY'RE REALLY BIG FANS OF THE...(LOOKS AT SMUDGEY WRITING ON HAND) TINY MOUSE.

[sciderman]

Kind of obsessed with the Wade and Olive dynamic, because like in my head Wade is just kind of one of Olive's Groupies. I don't know, compared to Peter and Anita which is like, just kind of simple and gentle romance (you know what I mean like roses in the background as they tongue fuck- in a very graceful way ofcourse- but l, like, roses in the background). And then Olive, whore of the century, Wade is in love and the idea of Wade being just one of his groupies makes me cackle. I imagine Olive just has a line outside his dressing room with a sign that says “Groupies and random sluts” and it's just Johnny Storm with a bow tie on patiently waiting his turn.

peter and anita do not tongue fuck. don't be so crass. they tongue make love.

wade and olive tongue fuck. they do every kind of fuck.

[ntwhlvndthnks]

THE ENDING BRO THE ENDING THE ENDING BROOOOO THE FUCKING ENDINGGGGG FUCK YOU MEAN I GOTTA WAIT UNTIL THE 4TH OF FUCKIN JULY

[firsthcmunculus]

todays the day. time to get the piercing. i'll be online in the afternoon. i'm mentally preparing myself for the hurt, like i always do before a piercing appointment. pray for me. 😭

[smileyobrien]

STAR TREK: the next generation | 7.25 "All Good Things..."

[acheemient]

Okay. So. I know it isn't. I KNOW that.

But if @the-almighty-god is some sort of.... VIRAL ADVERTISING LONG CON for season 3, and it turns out that GO!God has been horcruxed up into different...idk....DISHES AND CUPS AND WITCHES WITH STUPID NAMES, I am going to go absolutely and completely feral!

I will quit the internet. I will admit that I know nothing about the world (of Good Omens or that of my own reality) or storytelling within it. I will return my English degree to the po-dunk little university from whence it came, and I will eek out a tiny, internet-less existence as a turnip farmer.

[outism-had-a-purpose]

LOOK AT HER

HELLOOOOOO!??!??!??!???????!?!??!!! I JUST FELEL OF FMY FUCKING SEAT WHAT WHAT WHAT HELLO?*(!&^9

[the-almighty-god]

1000 Follower Face Reveal

Yes, I am actually Frances McDormand. It's been fun interacting with you all as my character in Good Omens. This community is so welcoming and creative, and it'struly an honor to be a part of it.

I didn't have much to do in Season Two so this blog has helped me get my fix of playing God. Hopefully I'll have more of a role in Season Three, but that's up to the real God of the Good Omens universe (and we all know who that is).

So for now I'll just say cheers to all my followers, and COME BACK WHEN YOU CAN MAKE A WHALE!

[starfayy]

Whenever people ask me "What is evil then?" I always give a very objective answer:

Evil is like thermodynamics.

Coldness doesnt exist in itself, is just the absence of heat

Or like optical theory

Darkness doesnt exist in itself, is just absence of light

Evil is a rebellion against the good, good exist outside of evil but evil NEEDS the reference of what's good and sacred and true and holy and right to exist and act, like a parasite

There is no virus without a carrier

Therefore, evil is the absence of God. Evil wasn't meant to be here, like a disease is not meant to be in your organism forever.

[purplelupins]

Part 1 has a 30k word count god help me. Part 2 is already at 10k. Guys I swear this was just supposed to be a silly little thang of a fic about a hot priest how did this happen

[hetaari]

It’s a bit odd how people can’t be normal about feet tbh. Aside from actual fetish content (obviously) if you see someone who happens to be barefoot and your first thought is “sexualization!!!1!1” then like idk man, that says more about you than it does about the material

[scattered-winter]

when I finally actually express my anger toward my family that's when they'll be sorry. this shit has been building up for 20 years its gonna be like fucking yellowstone when it finally boils over <- guy who has never once done anything of the kind

[daincrediblegg]