#the angst of this show is so fun to analyze and talk about

[rainofthetwilight]

honestly, when i first saw sora's backstory, i didnt react much, but now im noticing everything and its just really sad to think about

see this little kid who was full of hope? see this girl, that was just an innocent kid full of life, having that one role model that every kid had in some point of their lives?

this girl was then stripped away from everything she loved the moment she realized the truth, that this "role model" of hers was abusing poor innocent creatures, that their people have been brainwashed by this so-called emperess she actually used to follow, having your own parents shun you and take away everything you had and isolate you just because you knew the truth, and said truth wasnt just something bad, no, it was a fucking nightmare to think about, imagine taking that all in at 10

if the merge never happend, she would've been stuck in that sucker of a realm her whole life. she wouldve never been able to continue her childhood, her love for tech, nothing just absolutely nothing. she wouldve been locked away and alone forever, she wouldnt even have her own family by her side

the fact she didnt even hesitate to leave when the merge happend is heartbreaking, she was so fucking young, and was treated so poorly by everyone. imagine staying like that for probably months. she even named herself after that freaking dragon to respect her.

and as someone who actually experienced what sora had to endure when i was a kid, being shunned by my family for nearly a year during that time, i just have to point out that:

ana and sora are two completely different charcters.

when ana left, she became sora. a completely new person that was an ending with a new beginning, seeds that became remenants.

I know alot of people will disagree with me and say that lloyd had a tougher backstory, or maybe harumi, etc, but every charcter experienced something the other wouldnt handle, making no tragedy rougher than the other

i have nothing else to say but..damn

[milksuu]

Hello! What do you think about a scenario where Aphelios and reader meet in OSU or another game?

Like reader creates maps and uses songs that aphelios actually likes and so he ends up being the player that she always sees on her stat map charts with almost always being top 1. And one of them gets curious so they reach out on the app/netsite and they get to know each other?? Like kinda how they met and how their relationship would evolve over time. I'm not good with words but yeah!

❥ prompt: You were a revered OSU! map creator. He was a map farming legend. Especially your maps. He was always at the top of the stat charts. Praised or scrutinized, he was the daily hot topic in the /osu subforums. His username was the only thing you knew about him : m00ncake. You had no idea he would end up being Aphelios from the band Heartsteel. That's until he showed up at your job by accident, and you connecting the dots. Oh, did you forget to mention you worked at a maid café? ❥ content/warnings: fluffy fluff, mild hurt/comfort, minor angst (?) ❥ characters/pairings: Heartsteel!aphelios / f!reader

This was it. Your magnum opus! Once your song map hit the platform, thousands of players immediately clicked to dominate it. It wasn't going to be easy for them. You'd taken special care of making it more challenging than your previous maps....especially for one certain player.

m00ncake had a history of over-taking any map within the first try. After every song, there he was: placed at number one. With astronomical stats that would take days of practice for any top streamer to compete with. It's what made the whole scene that much more competitive.

But every gamer had their weakness. And you made this map specifically to exploit m00ncake. You had analyzed his replays. Over and over again. In the darkness of your room, till the desktop screen stung your eyes dry.

He was exceptionally good with rhythm, timing, and anything technical. If you could throw him off, even a little, you'd consider that a flawless victory. This time around you would delay the kick sliders, just by a fraction, before the uptick. The rhythm theoretically the same, but the minuscule margin of delay would throw any muscle memory built up from your previous maps alone.

You waited with baited breath. m00ncake played and finished your map. The stats were posted. Yet again, he proved to be the legend he was considered to be. Despite your best efforts. With the numbers alone, there was no way another player could possibly over-take him.

A few moments later, you received a direct message:

m00ncake: nice song. also fun map. can i ask a question?

You heart thumped inside your chest. Gulping, you allowed your fingers to type back:

mcreader: oh, thanks! and sure, go ahead. m00ncake: did you purposefully slow down the kick slider at certain parts? if you did, it was actually pretty challenging for me. i'm usually on auto-pilot so that kind of threw me off. haha

After that message, your friendship blossomed. Frequently messaging each other on the platform, to then adding each other on Discord. Whenever you posted a new map, m00ncake would call you, and have you listen to his insane key-board clicking sounds. The most intense ASMR one could experience, really.

It was always great to get feedback from him after he would finish. Being the professional OSU! player that he was, it was nice to get insight on possible map formations, songs, to just general technical suggestions. To no surprise, you both enjoyed the same style of music. It explained why his play history consisted of mostly your maps. Even your least popular ones.

But he never spoke. Not even a whisper. And you never pressed it. If he was just generally shy with speaking, you could understand. You didn't mind doing all of the talking, and him replying with short text, emojies or tts.

mcreader: i found a great song for a new map. but i have work now, so i'll probably do it later tonight. maybe post it if im not too sleepy. m00ncake: sounds good. i'm excited to play it when it comes out. i'm usually up at night so if you need some company, let me know. have a good day at work. ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

mcreader: will do! and tysm! have a good day too! ttyl! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

You pressed your phone to your lips. m00ncake was always so sweet, supportive, and always a treat to talk to (Well, text to). You just wished you knew his name. Or anything more about him, really. He was always very secretive. It made you wonder why.

When you made it to work, you dressed and fitted into your maid outfit along with the rest of the girls coming in for shift. You heard giggles and whispers, "Hey, did you see that guy that's at that one table? He looks just like Aphelios from Heartsteel!" Another girl wiggled excitedly, nodding her head. "Totally. But it's so hard to tell. He's got his mask on and has his hoodie up. No, there's no way it's not him. As a die-hard fan, I can tell!"

"That's enough, girls." The manager clapped her hands at attention. "Everyone already has their table assignments. And there will be no switching. Whether we have a special customer or not, we always provide excellence in our service. Understood?"

After learning your table assignments, you were ready for your shift. And looked like you were assigned the very table everyone seemed to want. Whines erupted around you. "How come she get's to serve Apehlios? I bet she doesn't even know who Heartsteel is." The mass of complaints silenced as the manager clapped her hands once more.

They were right. You weren't too knowledgeable on the up and coming band. But if they were right, then that made you all the more nervous. It wasn't everyday you served someone of musical prestige. You usually served single college guys, the occasional cute couple, or a group of high-school girls on a fun after school date.

"Welcome back, Master! It's an honor to serve you again today." You sang your rehearsed spiel at the customers table. 'Masters' were always treated as if they had come home from a long journey. "I'm glad you're back safely. You must be tired after being away from home so very long. Please, let me recharge you by taking your food and drink order."

What on earth? You almost broke character. You watched as the young man had his phone out, playing OSU! in the most casual way imaginable. He rolled his blood-moon eyes to acknowledge you, expression veiled. He placed his phone on the table, but his fingers continued to tap his screen while he scanned the heart-shaped menu.

D-Did he memorize the whole song!? The whole scene was out of this world. So distracted by this detail, you almost didn't realize he was trying to communicate. You looked down. He pointed and tapped a finger at his order. A lavender latte and dessert combo.

"Wonderful choice, Master. I'll let the fairy's know right away. Your dessert and drink will be out shortly."

You scurried away with the order. When you returned with a tray, you sought to investigate your customer a little more. It was customary to draw art on the latte foam. You smiled sweetly, drawing the shape of a rabbit. "I'm so happy you returned home, Master. I was so worried because it had been so long. Once I heard you were coming back, I couldn't help but be excited for today. The day when we would finally see each other again."

Honestly, you were just trying to ramble and waste time. He never bothered reacting to your whole gimmick. That gave you security to scan your eyes over his phone screen. Your breath hitched. His username...his username...his username...

m00ncake

You practically squirted the whole bottle of chocolate sauce on the table. Recovering with an innocent laugh, and wiped the table dry, and ran away to take cover in the employee's only section. You pulled out your phone and opened Discord:

mcreader: hey! super weird question, but um, what're you doing rn??????? m00ncake: ...me? just out and about. having something to eat. why ( ° - °) ??????? mcreader: i was just wondering, and im sorry if this is random but...is....is your name aphelios by chance?

After pressing send, you peeked around the corner. You watched as the young man tapped on his phone. After a pause, his eyes snapped wide. Panicked, he looked around the space. As if trying to find a proper response to your question.

It is you, you pressed your lips firmly together. You went back to his table and took his wrist, encouraging him to follow you. "Oh! Master, let me guide you to the restroom." You announced loudly, leading him away. You dragged him into the dressing room. Since next shift wasn't for a few more hours, no one would bother walking in.

"m00ncake, Aphelios--whoever you are. What're you doing here?" How embarrassing. If you ever decided to meet in person, you didn't want it to be like this. With you and your silly frilly outfit and cringey maid character (even though you did enjoy it). But this was way over the top than you imagined!

Aphelio's backed up slowly against a locker. He didn't say a word. Blinking wildly at your question. You pulled out your phone, revealing your Discord and OSU! conversations with him.

"You see this? That's you! And now I know that it's you...you're m00ncake...and Aphelio's from Heartsteel...and I-I'm..."

Why? Why? Why? Why couldn't he have been anyone else than a supposed famous idol star? Why couldn't he have been some normal guy with an obsession with online rhythm games? Someone weirdly normal, like you.

So why....why did you have to like someone so out of your league?

Girlish talk and laughter bounced outside the changing room door. Fearing the worst, you dragged you and Aphelio's into your clothing locker. You made shushing gestures to your lips, which was ironic, since you knew at this point he never said a word.

A couple of girls walked in, laughing to one another. "Wow, I can't believe I lost one of my hair ties. Thanks for letting me borrow yours." The other then replied, "No problem! I always keep spares in my bag. Hey, look. Whose headphones are these?"

In the frantic mess of your actions, Aphelio's lost his headphones. The pair continued to laugh and talk, wondering exactly where the headset even came from. You shifted your gaze upwards. And your heart squeezed horribly inside your chest.

Aphelio's had his eyes half-lided, almost closed. Breathing laboriously through his mask. He looked as if he was in pain. Flinching whenever one of the girls giggled too loudly, or the other raised their voice in excitement. In the condensed space, he had no room to move his arms and cover his ears.

Your eyes widened at the realization. This...this is all my fault. Carefully, you squeezed your arms up, cupping his ears in your hands. In this angle, your cheek condensed into his chest. You felt the erratic thumping of his heart. Slowly, it settled to a steady rhythm. The heaves of his chest dissipating to normal breaths.

When the girls finally left, you uncovered his ears, both slipping out of the locker. You picked up his headphones, adjusting them against his ears. You then fitted the hoodie over his head, wearing a sad smile, "I'm so sorry. About all that. About everything, really. Can...can you forget about today? And don't worry about paying for your meal. I'll cover it."

You didn't let him type or gesture a single word to you. Resuming character, you escorted him out of the maid café, with a take-home box in hand for his troubles.

Your shift dragged on. You didn't bother sending any messages to m00ncake. Or actually, Apehlios, you should say. And no messages came from him, either. Good...it's better this way. The two of you living in two separate worlds.

When end of shift came, the sky had darkened. With your dress bag slung over your shoulder, you left the café. When you stepped onto the sidewalk, someone familiar stood at the side.

"A-Aphelios, why did you..." before you finished, he messaged you on Discord. You opened the message:

m00ncake: i didn't want to forget about today. in fact, do you want to ride the train together?

You paused. A smile then formed across your lips. With a nod, you placed yourself at his side. In a comfortable silence, the two of you walked shoulder to shoulder. Your phone buzzed. Another ping:

m00ncake: i shouldn't probably say this but, i actually have a thing for girls in maid outfits. you can shove me in a locker and call me master anytime. (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

You blushed furiously, grabbing his arm and shaking it with a whine. Thinking maybe, just maybe, two totally different notes could be part of the same song.

an: omfg what a cute idea this was! honestly, im not versed in rhythm games, but i tried my best. maybe i went overboard too. thanks so much for the request @timetoeatthebread-blog!

[frostyhelltime]

I See You

(ft. HuskerDust)

Warnings: Little bit of angst on Angel's part, but this is mostly just hurt/comfort.

Prompt: "I see you. I see you, I always have and I always will." Prompt from @unfriendlywriter

Set before they're dating, but sometime after 'Loser, Baby'. I had a lot of fun making their graphics for this as well. Hope everyone likes it!

There's a blissful silence in the air as Husk polishes glasses behind the bar. No static that would allude to Alastor being near, no Nifty obsessively cleaning, no Charlie planning new group activities. Just. Peace.

Until a certain tall spider comes lumbering in, shoulders slumped low, and head pointed towards the ground. Husk doesn't even think Angel Dust is even aware of the weary sigh that leaves them as they trudge in, barely having the energy to even shut the front door behind him.

Husk is already grabbing a bottle and a glass for him but as soon as he pops the top off he hears Angel speak.

"I'm good Whiskers. I just...I just wanna go to bed. Maybe tomorrow." Angel waves him off sluggishly with two arms, which only makes Husk furrows his brows as if trying to analyze him.

"That bad huh?" He offers as he puts the lid back on the bottle, hesitating only a moment to see if Angel changes his mind and wants a drink after all. When Angel just sighs and keeps walking, Husk does finally put the bottle away.

"Wanna talk about it? People don't have to buy a drink to sit at my bar." He says before giving Angel a toothed grin.

"Least you don't anyway."

He's speaking genuinely, but also hopes the remark might make Angel chuckle even just a little. He doesn't, but he does let out a huff of air that Husk thinks could be close enough to a laugh that he thinks he's successful.

He does manage to get Angel to crack a smile with that one, though it is weak. But still, a smile is a smile.

"Maybe...I dunno. I don't wanna take up ya time and space if someone else comes in." Angel shrugs, looking for excuses for Husk to not comfort him. It's something foreign, having someone care about how he's doing. He's used to people only pretending to care to get what they want, usually his body or whatever it is they need. So his instinct is to try and dodge those attempts at care because it's hard to handle when they aren't genuine. He certainly wouldn't be able to handle it if Husk's care wasn't genuine. But that's a whole other issue to dig deep into as he's falling asleep.

But Husk doesn't hear any of Angel's thoughts, only what Angel says, so this time he waves Angel off with a lazy wave of his wrist.

"Most everyone is out as far as I know. And if someone does come in I can always take a break." He assured the taller one, who shifts nervously from foot to foot as he considers maybe...it would be okay to show that vulnerability to Husk again? Just this once of course. Husk busies himself with cleaning more glasses to not make Angel feel pressured into a decision one way or another.

"...Maybe but...I dunno. I just...talkin' out here in the open where someone can walk in...Maybe another time but thanks." Angel stumbles over his words until eventually he talks himself out of it and even Angel winces at how lame it sounds. Husk eyes him a moment, as if analyzing him like a math problem. He's trying to figure out how far is too far to push, but he doesn't feel good at all about letting Angel go in this state.

"...Break time it is."

"W...Wha?"

"I've decided it's time for a break. Let's head somewhere quieter to talk. Problem solved."

Husk says it so casually with a shrug of his shoulders that it just confuses Angel even more, as if it was natural to stop what he was doing to help him. By the time he processes what his feline companion has said, Husk has already put things away and is standing next to Angel, waiting only a little impatiently.

For the first time tonight Husk looks a little anxious standing next to him, hands in his pockets and waiting to be directed on where they're going to go.

When Angel comes back down to earth, he blinks a few times, standing up a bit straighter.

"Right. Yeah. Uh. We can talk in my room I guess?" Angel says, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Husk only nods and gestures for him to start walking.

Neither Angel nor Husk can tell if the silence between them as they walk is peaceful or awkward, but either way they're happy to reach the door once they get there.

Angel goes in first, plopping down to sit on his bed as Fat Nuggets immediately crawls onto his lap, nuzzling into Angel eagerly to try and cheer him up.

Husk lets out a small chuckle at the admittedly adorable display and he shuts the door behind him, taking a seat right next to Angel Dust.

"Alright. So what's bothering you?"

"...The Big V. Who else?" He scoffs venomously, looking away.

"And Charlie enjoys singing. I figured that much. What did he do this time?" Husk relaxes as they begin talking im earnest, leaning back a little bit and getting comfortable.

"I just...I don't even know how to describe it. He makes....he makes me feel so worthless. Like all I'm good at and good for is his stupid fuckin' shoots." Angel grits out, hands pausing on Fat Nuggets a second.

"And when I can't even do that right..." He trails off, letting the end of his sentence go unspoken.

"I just feel...so damn invisible there. Even when all eyes are on me it feels like no one is really looking at me."

Angel hates that his voice takes on a choked sounding quality the further he talks, the tears welling up in the corner of his eyes. He turns away from Husk as if that would actually keep him from finding out.

It takes a moment for Husk to figure out what to say and then he reaches out to place his hand on top of one of Angel's, hesitating halfway there eventually deciding, fuck it, and placing his hand on top of his and giving a small squeeze.

"I see you."

It's the softest Angel Dust had ever heard Husk speak and it's so jarring he snaps his head back to look at Husk, forgetting he was trying to hide his tears moments ago.

"...What?"

Husk clears his throat, giving him his best comforting smile.

"I see you. I always have and I always will." Husk speaks with a little more confidence.

The tears that were only beginning to gather begin to flood now and Angel doubles over as his body is wracked with sobs, unable to stop himself, especially after the day he's had. Somehow it was both exactly what he needed to hear and also what pushes him past the tipping point. He doesn't know why it makes him snap, he just knows it does.

Maybe it's because he really is starting to believe Husk could be genuine, and somehow placing that vulnerability in another person's hands is terrifying and overwhelming.

But Husk doesn't judge him, just sneaks his free hand around to rub soothing circles on Angel's back as he lets him get it all out. Neither of them says anything for the duration of it, Husk out of respect and Angel out of shame.

But eventually Angel's cries do settle down into sniffles and he sits back up again, wiping what's left of the tears off his face before looking at Husk again.

"Yeah. Sorry. I...I don't know what came over me." He mumbles apologetically but Husk just shrugs. Angel only barely sees it in his peripheral because he's looking anywhere but at Husk.

"Nothing to be sorry about." He assured him, his voice soothing and neutral.

Husk's words just keep ringing in Angel's head over and over again though.

'I see you. I always have and I always will.'

Angel can't help but snort out a laugh now.

"Fuckin' liar. You didn't always see me. You hated me when I first showed up here." Angel laughs, although he still appreciates the sentiment.

But Husk just smiles like he knows something Angel doesn't.

"... Technically I didn't lie. Back then I saw you were hiding your real self. I didn't know why but I knew the you that you were presenting wasn't real...and I was right." Husk is appropriately wearing a mischievous Cheshire grin as he leans over to playfully poke Angel in the chest.

"So I still saw you, even if I was annoyed you weren't being honest." Husk's grin only grows wider when he sees the flush of red that finds itself on Angel's cheeks.

Angel opens and closes his mouth a few times as he struggles to think of words to say. But he comes up empty.

"...I...I...Thank you." Angel eventually whispers, smiling at Husk, genuinely smiling. It's a tired and exhausted smile, but it's genuine and it makes Husk relax, smiling back.

"Anytime. I'm going to head back to the bar and let you sleep." Husk pats his back as he stands up and Angel realizes how cold the top of his hand feels without Husk touching it and he's immediately standing too, Fat Nuggets letting out a small squeak of surprise before he lands on his feet on the ground. He only lets out one small huff before he seems happy again, his tail wagging, so Angel isn't too worried.

"Well since I feel better...maybe...a nice drink to relax after work doesn't sound so bad?" Angel isn't even sure what he's saying, he just knows he wants to follow him.

He thinks Husk knows it too because he flashes Angel the smile of a gambler on a winning streak and it makes his heart race.

"I'll make something extra good for you when you come down. See you in a few minutes?" He offers, wanting to allow Angel time alone to collect himself before going if he needed it.

"See you in a few." Angel nods, confirming their plans as he sits back down on his bed a moment, watching Husk wave goodbye as he leaves, shutting the door behind him to give Angel some privacy.

He can't help the goofy smile on his face as he fixes himself back up to look presentable before he heads back down to meet Husk at the bar, who is already standing there, waiting with a knowing grin and some bright pink concoction that suits Angel Dust perfectly already sitting in a glass on a napkin, waiting for it's owner to take a seat.

[abeautylives]

Times I Remember Well

(and Some That I Don’t)

Part 2

author’s note: The word "skivvies" means underwear. Apparently not everyone knows that lol

pairing: female!OCxjake

time frame: 2014-2016

word count: 7k this part

warnings: language, more teenage angst, illicit substance use, underage drinking, mentions of sex and sexual situations, fingering, angry Sam

I was serious when I said I couldn’t show my face at the Kiszka household for a while. 

Sam showed up at my front door the next afternoon, and immediately started making fun of me for being rejected by his brother. 

“Oh Joshy, why won’t you kiss me?!” Complete with immature kissy sounds and puppy dog eyes.

I could only wonder what Josh had told him happened. He wouldn’t tell me. Menace.

It was one thing to hang out with Sam so soon after the incident, but there was no way I could be around Josh. Or even Jake.

The more I thought about that night (which was a lot), the more I over-analyzed Jake’s reaction to his twin cozying up to me.

Was I crazy to think that he was mad at me? Or at Josh? The look on his face had been murderous (it got even more murdery every time I thought about it). Had I imagined that?

Because I’m the luckiest girl on earth, I didn’t have to wait that long to find out.

After three weeks of avoiding their house all together, Sam convinced me to come by for a smoke sesh in the garage. Same as always, the usual, totally casual. I knocked twice on the door and let myself in, sat on the old throw rug right next to Sam, joined the rotation with Danny on the couch across from me and Sam to my left. Around and round it went, while I refused to meet the eyes of anyone in the room but Sammy.

Jake sat upon his ugly floral throne and Josh was tucked into the corner of the couch beside him. I risked peeking up at them, back and forth, whenever I knew they weren’t paying attention. 

They were so different. More different than I had ever realized, but Josh seemed okay - a little quiet but he smiled easily and laughed freely. I don’t think Jake even glanced in my direction once, but I was too scared to look at him for too long, so who knows.

Eventually, Sam smoked too much. He did this almost every time, you’d think he’d have figured it out by then. He laid himself flat out on the cement floor and dozed off, so I asked Danny to toss me one of the dingy throw pillows from the couch. 

“Here, stupid.” I shoved Sam’s shoulder and he stirred enough to lift his head, I stuffed the pillow underneath it. He went out like a light.

Jake chose the moment Sam passed out to stand from the chair. He stayed there for a second, and I could see him from the corner of my eye. Just standing there, like a total weirdo! So yeah, I looked up at him. Don’t you worry, he was already looking down at me and our eyes locked. Of course they did.

His expression was pretty neutral but made me feel squirmy anyway, so I blinked and looked at Josh instead. You guessed it, he was already looking at me too! Except he’s perfectly lovely and sweet, so he grinned and shrugged his shoulders.

“Come grab some snacks with me, Tiny.”

Nope, Josh didn’t say that. I nearly snapped my neck jerking my head back up to Jake. “C’mon, T.”

When we were still in middle school, Sam and I would sometimes watch reruns of The Twilight Zone, have you ever seen that show? Each episode was a story about some seriously weird and disturbing shit, alternate realities.

This was like that. I had entered the Twilight Zone.

Josh was my only option for help, so I obviously looked over at Danny instead. He was melting into the couch again, lightweight.

“Let’s go.” This Jake was freaking me out. I mean, he didn’t talk to me much under normal circumstances, but he definitely never asked me to go anywhere with him. Let alone demanded it.

“Okay!” Once again, I embarrassed myself under this roof. My voice came out strained and squeaky. Let’s blame it on the dry mouth. 

He skirted around the chair and out the side door, and my body just got up to follow him. Traitor! I stepped over Sam and before I made it to the door, Josh’s hand shot out and grabbed my wrist.

“Hey, you okay?”

Ugh, he’s so perfect. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine but he’s being so weird, right?” Right?!

“He is. He’s been kinda weird for a couple weeks, even with me. But uh… Good luck in there, missed you around here.” He released his hold on my wrist and chuckled. Traitor!

My possible friendship with Josh was tenuous at best, but I was considering a forever type of silent treatment after this betrayal. I sucked a few deep breaths into my lungs before I walked into the house, and when I made it to the kitchen, Jake was leaning against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. He hadn’t even pulled any snacks out. He lifted his eyes to me as I walked in, and did that flippy thing with the hair that always flopped over them.

“What’s up Biebs?” He hated that (he and Sam both did, it was great), and I knew he hated that, but he was getting on my nerves with his attention, with his demands. I could see the hate written all over his face, but I crossed the kitchen and leaned into the counter across from him. Then I matched his wide-legged stance, crossed my arms, and scowled. We stared at each other for a beat, my underarms started to sweat before he responded. 

“Where have you been the last few weekends?”

What do you mean he’d noticed I hadn’t been here? Was he for real?

“Uhh, I’ve been around, I guess. What do you care?”

“You avoiding us, Tiny?” He adjusted his stance, straightening up to his full height (a whopping half inch taller than me - what is it with these guys?) but kept his arms across his chest. His hair had fallen back into his eyes and he flipped it away, and I just stared at him in silence. “Something happen the last time you were here?”

What do you know, dickhead?

“Like what, Jacob?” I smoothed out the scowl from between my eyebrows and batted my lashes at him. I’m so innocent! He did not like it. His arms dropped to his sides and he pushed himself away from the counter. In less than a second he was standing right in front of me. In a fraction of that, he had leaned in close, the tip of his nose nearly touching mine. I tried to back away, arching my back over the edge of the counter, but he moved in further.

Now my back was sweating.

“Did you fool around with my brother?”

Jesus. His question breezed over my lips and his words shot straight to my gut. It wasn’t like the soft caress of Josh’s voice asking what I was doing when I’d been begging him to kiss me. This wasn’t like that at all. 

“Uh-“ Yeah yeah, I had to clear my throat. I think I stopped breathing. “Who? Sammy? Gross, dude.”

Deflect! Deflect!

“Did you fuck Josh, T?”

WHAT?!

I pushed him away from me. I couldn’t breathe!

“What the hell are you talking about, Jake? Of course I didn’t… do that!” I’d never done that, with anyone, had he lost his mind?

“Then why is he acting so weird? And why haven’t you been here since that night?” He really seemed surprised that I hadn’t fu- had sex with Josh on the couch in the garage. What kind of girl did he take me for?

“Ask him yourself, asshole!”

“I did! Multiple times! He won’t say shit and says you guys are just friends, but that doesn’t explain why you’ve been too chicken-shit to show your face!”

Why was he so close to me again? I put a palm squarely in the middle of his chest, ready to push his ass to the floor if I had to, but he wrapped his fingers around my wrist and squeezed. Kinda hard.

“My own brother won’t tell me the truth and it’s your fault.” He pushed my hand back into my own chest. “What did you do to him?”

I was truly at a loss for words, so I uttered a few that I honestly had never said to anyone before. Not even Sam.

“Fuck you, Jake.”

But he didn’t even move! His face sort of twisted up, like he was confused, but I don’t think I could have been any more clear.

“Grow up, Tiny.”

Ugh, when did he learn how to push all my buttons? “You grow up, and mind your own business you creep. What, are you jealous I kissed Josh and not you?”

You should’ve seen it, seriously. You had to be there. He sprung away from me like I’d electrocuted him. 

“You are! Oh this is hilarious, you’re jealous.” I had to say it, the look on his face was a mixture of disgust and embarrassment. I couldn’t believe it. “Do you like me Jake? Huh? You wanna kiss me Jake?”

There’s no excuse for that one. I still don’t know why I said it. But then, ohhhh then, he rushed back into my space, wrapped both hands around the base of my skull, and slammed his lips against mine.

See? Luckiest girl on earth.

A lot of things happened in a span of a very few seconds. 

The weight of his body pushed me into the counter pretty hard, but I barely registered the pain. My first reaction was obviously shock, confusion, but it quickly turned into acceptance and my lips went from stiff against his to soft and welcoming.

Yep. I kissed him back.

My hands flew up and wrapped around his wrists, and he actually gripped my hair. I gasped into the kiss and he slipped his tongue into my mouth. He groaned, I moaned and-

“Seriously?!”

We bounced apart like the opposite poles of two magnets. Jake didn’t stop moving backwards until he hit the counter across from me.

“This is seriously fucked up, guys.” Sam stood in the doorway of the kitchen, eyes red and unfocused, but they landed on me. “Go home, T. I shouldn’t have even asked you to come here.”

Before I could argue or even get upset with him, he turned out of the room and was gone.

I was confused. Very confused. My heart was still beating erratically in my chest and my breaths didn’t feel right either. Of all the people on the planet, I had to look to Jake effing Kiszka for help.

“Jake…” My voice came out small, weak.

For a minute, he just shook his head. My vision went a little blurry.

I am not going to cry in front of another one of these idiots!

“Jake.” Stronger that time, better. “Why did you do that?”

“Why did you?”

“You kissed me first! I-“

“You liked it.”

No, no I did not. I loved it. There was enough potential that I could’ve been smitten with it.

“You’re disgusting.” As I found my voice, I also found some anger. That anger coerced my feet into action, and I found myself toe to toe with him again. I pushed a finger right into his chest, for good measure. “Don’t ever-“

I learned a few things that night. One thing was that Jake was a really terrible listener. 

He didn’t grab me again, he didn’t crowd me or slam his mouth to mine. He just leaned forward and let his lips hover over mine. That shut me up real quick. 

“You sure, T?” Ugh, he whispered. And it was sexy, and seductive.

Another thing I learned that night was that Jake was a real prick.

Because he whispered those words across my lips, wrapped his hands around my upper arms and spun us around, backed me into the counter…

And walked away.

With all that being said, that might have been the night I started falling for Jake Kiszka. But I don’t really remember.

Sam didn’t speak a word to me for six days.

He was really mad at me! Or at least I figured he was, since he sent me away and said I never should have been there to begin with. And he ignored all my texts. And calls. Shit, I even emailed him once.

I passed him in the halls at school all week, tried to catch his attention from a distance, watched him purposefully look past me, or through me each time.

I had really fucked up.

On the seventh day, he gave it a rest. A full week since incident #2, he texted me. 

sammy: I’m sorry too

That was it. I had apologized a hundred unanswered times, pleaded with him to just talk to me, for a week. After so much silent treatment, I didn’t really know how to address it.

Me: my dad wants me to stay with him for the summer

That was true. My dad always wanted me to stay with him for the summer, but I usually chose to stay home and traded out the other, shorter holiday breaks with him. I hadn’t seriously been considering it, until incident #2.

sammy: In Traverse? Are you gonna go?

Me: yeah. 

What did you expect me to say? I needed to get out of the bubble that was our town and away from all the testosterone. Granted, Traverse City is only like three hours away, but that was pretty far for a kid with no license.

Sam didn’t text me back. I was glad I was leaving.

School let out for the summer and my dad picked me up that weekend. Traverse City isn’t all that different from home, aside from triple the population. There’s plenty to do outdoors - beaches and trails - but my dad didn’t exactly provide the same kind of company as Sam. 

When you’re running free with your best friend, the break never seems long enough. This was the longest summer I could remember, but by early July Sam and I were back on regular speaking terms. We texted all the time, and eventually accepted each other’s apologies. 

But after not hearing from him at all before I left town, the first time he reached out was not all that fun.

sammy: Can I ask you a question 

Me: shoot

sammy: Why did it have to be my brothers?

Me: …

Me: what do you mean

sammy: You could make out with ANYONE else

sammy: Why them?

So Josh did tell him something. 

Me: Josh told you we kissed?

sammy: That’s not an answer.

The truth? You know the truth. I started crushing on Josh sometime between his bare chest at Fischer Hall and the skintight jeans with the peace sign patch on the ass that he started wearing later that summer. 

But I still didn’t know what the hell had happened with Jake.

Me: i already said i was sorry sam. I. AM. SORRY. 

Me: i really did like josh… he doesn’t like me back

Me: but i DID NOT KISS JAKE!!! He kissed ME and i have no clue why

Me: I DO NOT LIKE HIM, I HATE HIM

Look, I rarely lied to Sam. I had no reason to. But that text? That was a big fat lie.

How could I tell him that not only did I not hate Jake, I liked kissing Jake. I wanted to kiss Jake again. I wanted to learn how he did it, what his moves were, what made him-

No. Couldn’t tell baby brother all that. So I lied, and I avoided at all costs. 

Back to the best of friends by August, Sam was waiting in my driveway the day my dad dropped me off. We spent the last week of the summer attached at the hip again, but I didn’t step foot in his house for a very long time.

The Friday after my eighteenth birthday, Sammy threw me a party. That I didn’t ask for.

I rarely hung out with him at his own house anymore, and if I did it was only when I knew for certain that Jake wasn’t home. 

Josh and I had developed a sort of friendly relationship over the last couple years, stemming from a run-in at a movie theater. I was on a date (it went terribly), Josh was on a date (I asked him about it later and yes, that guy liked him back!), we fumbled awkwardly through hellos and introductions. He told me he missed seeing me around.

Those five words were enough to convince me that it would be okay to go to the house if he was there.

But not Jake. Never Jake.

So imagine my utter shock and horror when I knocked twice on the garage door, slipped underneath it, and found the room packed full of people.

“SURPRISE!!!”

Fuck me, right? No one likes surprise parties. I particularly hate them. Especially when I’m standing there like an idiot, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, taking in an unexpected mass of people and my stupid eyes lock on Jake stupid Kiszka.

And he smirked. Asshole.

“I’m not ready to leave you.”

Despite the garage full of our friends, I still ended up on Sam’s lap in the ugly chair, a little buzzed and kind of weepy. I tucked my face into his shoulder.

Don’t judge me. I’d already done a few hours worth of dancing, laughing and drinking. And avoiding the proverbial elephant in the room. It was exhausting. 

He shrugged off my concerns. “When I’m famous, you can just drop out and come on tour with us.” He raised his beer up to me, so I tapped mine against it. Cheers to adulthood, I guess. 

“You better get famous, you dick. Or even better, fail miserably and come live in Ann Arbor with me.”

In a month, I was graduating. It's not like I was leaving for college right away, but the reality of being eighteen was weighing on me. Sam’s reality was even heavier.

The fucking band was getting noticed. Being seen. What was I gonna do if they took off, if he left me and Michigan behind?

“Cheer up, T. This is supposed to be a party.” He squeezed me with the arm wrapped around my waist.

“Yeah yeah. I’m fine… I’m just gonna miss you.”

He was really great sometimes, my best friend. He reached down and sat his beer on the floor, then wrapped both arms around me. “I’ll miss you too, you know that.”

I let my eyes close for a minute and just enjoyed it, then sighed heavily against his neck. “Okay, sorry for the pity party. Let me up, I gotta pee.”

A few people were lingering in the kitchen when I made it into the house, they all raised their drinks and yelled happy birthday as I passed through. In the upstairs bathroom, I could hear when they filtered back outside, the house falling silent. I gave myself a little pep talk in the mirror before I left.

Get it together, woman. Have a good time, enjoy the fucking summer. Grow. Up.

Good talk, I know. 

When I hit the bottom of the stairs, I heard the refrigerator open. As I turned into the kitchen, someone was still standing there, hidden by the door.

But I knew who it was.

The fridge door swung closed and there he was. And we were alone. 

Not this shit again.

I wasn’t gonna do it, I wasn’t gonna do anything. I swear. But I kept moving to pass him and leave the room, and he stuck an arm out and stopped me in my tracks. 

“Just let me go, Jake.” See? I had zero interest in this! I didn’t even look at him. Ya know, until he physically turned my body to face him. He had the nerve to smile.

“Happy birthday, T.” Thank God he didn’t whisper it, he was so good at whispering.

“Yeah, thanks. See ya.” I tried to leave again, but he put both hands on me and kept me facing him, toe to toe. Another showdown in the Kiszka kitchen.

“Don’t be like that.”

Oh, how I hated him in that moment. Everything came back, the confusion, the anger I felt the last time we’d been here. When he basically accused me of being a slut right before accusing me of wanting him. And being right about it.

I shook his hands off my arms and took a step back. “No. No, I’m not doing this again.” I turned to leave again, and he caught me by the wrist.

“What are you talk-“

“Stop! Don’t pretend you don’t know!”

“Tiny, I really-“

“Don’t call me that, and don’t act like you don’t know exactly why I have avoided you for two fucking years.”

Maybe it was my expression, or maybe it was the tone of my voice, I’ll never know but he dropped my wrist and actually managed to look guilty.

“Exactly. Bye, Jake.”

I made it to the doorway. If I had just been moving faster, I would’ve missed it and probably never experienced what happened next.

“I’m sorry.”

There’s no way I’d heard that right. It spun me around where I stood.

“What?”

“I said I’m sorry, about that night.”

I waited for the ground to open up and swallow us, or a meteor to blast through the ceiling. Surely the world was ending. Nothing happened.

“Really. What exactly are you sorry for, hm? Why exactly do you think I hate you?”

“You hate me?” I’m sure you can imagine, but yes, he had the audacity to look surprised by that information. It pissed me off.

“Get real, Jake.” I moved closer. “Get fucking real. Tell me what you’re apologizing for, go ahead. What part of that night are you sorry for?” By the time I was done, I was all up in his space and he looked uncomfortable.

Good.

“I’m sorry I accused you of sleeping with Josh.”

The big bad anger deflated, but only a little. I really hadn’t expected him to acknowledge that.

“You accused a sixteen year old virgin of fucking your brother on a dirty couch in your garage.” He literally cringed. I get it, it sounded bad. Because it was.

“That was really shitty of me-“

“You think?!”

“Let me finish,” His hands were on me again, wrapped around my upper arms. “Please.”

All I could do was nod. That please is what did it. He really seemed to feel bad, and I was believing it.

“I said that out of anger, T. I knew something happened out there, and Josh was all fucked up about it after. He wouldn’t talk to me, and he tells me everything.” My shoulders shook with the force of that word. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

My mind was reeling, grasping for the meaning he intended. I shook my head.

“We’re twins, we don’t have secrets. I thought you either forced him to do something he didn’t want to, or you… were mean to him. Judged him.”

It dawned on me, clear as day. 

“You knew.” 

He tipped his chin and nodded, just once. 

“I don’t- then what about the rest? I called you jealous, but it had nothing to do with that. But you were!”

He nodded again. My resolve crumbled.

“Why did you kiss me?” I whispered it, but I wasn’t trying to be sexy, or seductive.

“Because I was jealous. And I wanted to.”

Gulp.

“I’m really sorry that I hurt your feelings. I never wanted you to hate me.”

“What did you want?”

As you can imagine, that question sealed my fate.

“Just you.”

My back was against the refrigerator before he even finished breathing the words. This time, there was no moment of shock, I wasn’t confused, and my lips were not stiff. 

His hands slid up my arms and into my hair, and he tilted my head. My mouth opened for him, and I gripped the front of his t-shirt for dear life.

Remember when I told you that by sixteen, I had kissed plenty? That was true. By eighteen, I’d kissed plenty more.

But this kiss was going to ruin me, and I knew it.

He let a hand slip from my hair and ran it down the length of my body, past my shoulder, over my ribs and the small of my waist, then he tucked it between me and the fridge and flattened it to my lower back. And pulled my hips into his.

Oh my god. He did want me, I could feel the evidence of that pressed against me.

“Jake.” I broke the kiss but his lips kept moving, he tilted my head further and ran kisses over my cheek, my jaw. “Jake.”

“Mm?” His hips ground into mine, he didn’t take his lips off of me. 

“What- fuck, what are we doing?” My hands flattened against his chest and pushed, just a little, and he finally lifted his face.

His breath was coming quickly, I could feel it under my palms. “What do you wanna do, T?”

My brain raced toward an answer, past all the reasons we shouldn’t do what I wanted to do. There’s still a party going on in the garage, Sam is waiting there for me to come back from the bathroom, this is a bad idea, this is Jake, Sam may never forgive me for this.

“Can we- should we… go somewhere else?” Yeah, that’s what my brain landed on.

“You sure?” The memory of that same question, two years ago, rushed in and I knew that if he walked away from me this time, I would never get over it.

“I’m sure.”

He didn’t stop to reconsider or question my decision, just took my hand and led me back to the stairs. We rushed to the second floor, not leaving time to second guess or re-evaluate. He practically dragged me into his room, slammed the door behind us and locked it.

I didn’t bother looking around, it was dark anyway but I didn’t want to think too hard about what was happening. I just let him push me towards a bed and fell into it. He tore his shirt over his head and covered my body and mouth with his. 

My legs opened and he settled between them, immediately grinding into me. This was happening, and it was happening fast. Our mouths were securely attached, so I wriggled beneath him, tugging the hem of my shirt up. As soon as he caught on to what I was doing he took over the task, sliding a hand up under my shirt and touching my bare skin for the first time. 

“Fucking hell, T.” God, his voice was ragged, he was literally panting as he leaned back to use both hands, spreading his palms over my stomach, my ribcage, skimming over the sides of my breasts and up until my shirt was over my head and thrown to the floor.

For a minute we just stared at each other, our heavy breathing the only sound in the room. 

He had changed so little and so much in the last two years. Physically, his hair had grown long, hanging to his shoulders instead of flipping across his forehead. His cockiness had transformed into confidence, and his actions up to this moment had been firm and self-assured. As we took each other in, I wondered what changes he saw in me.

Did he see a woman that night, pinned to his mattress by his eyes? At sixteen, I’d tried so hard to convince all of them that I was grown - could he see the ways that I had?

“You’re so fucking hot.” Okay, yeah it wasn’t poetry or anything, but his words pulsed through my bloodstream and settled between my thighs. Something like a whine slipped from the back of my throat, and suddenly we were moving in fast motion. He covered me again, but his kiss landed on my jaw, then below my ear, then the base of my throat. As it passed my collarbone I tangled my hands into his hair. He’d propped himself up on an elbow and the other hand slid up my ribs again then covered my breast.

I wish I could remember what my bra even looked like that night, but it hadn’t seemed like he cared.

He squeezed me softly, I moaned, he squeezed harder. Then his fingers tugged the top of the cup down, and for the first time, a part of me was truly naked in front of Jake Kiszka.

There was only a fleeting moment where he lifted his head and looked at my chest, bared to him, my nipple already hard and aching for his attention - then he dropped his mouth over it and sucked it in.

My back arched off the bed and he sucked me in deeper, his tongue swirling around my nipple before he softly put his teeth on it.

“Yes.” I hardly recognized my own voice, but he must have recognized the need or the urgency in it, because he applied just a tiny bit of pressure, and bit me. “Yes!”

His head popped up and his eyes met mine. “Fuck, you liked that?”

Was that weird? Was I not supposed to? I didn’t know what to say, so I nodded. It prompted him to pull the other side of my bra down and treat my other nipple to the same affection, so I guessed it was the right answer.

We were writhing together, friction between our hips and my hands holding his head to my chest until I couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Jake, kiss me, please…”

Somewhere along the line, he’d become a better listener. His lips slotted over mine and he kissed me deeply, I felt it everywhere. Until his hand started fumbling with the button of my jeans. It popped open and he slid the zipper down. Just as his fingers danced over the edge of my underwear, he paused. 

Against my mouth he whispered, “Yes?”

I nodded frantically, breaking the kiss.

“Say it, T.”

“Yes.”

Fingers slid over cotton and tucked themselves between my legs, and my entire body shuddered. He dropped his gaze to where he was touching me as he pressed them into me and slid them up my center, catching on my clit. I jolted at the contact. 

“Jesus Christ.”

Had I surprised him? Done something wrong? Why was he pulling his hand away- oh.

His hand slipped out of my jeans only long enough to slide under the waist of my panties, then it disappeared inside them. 

Jake Kiszka had his fingers on my actual, bare-

You get it.

Again, they pressed into me and then through me, I could feel the way my body offered no resistance, slick and easy. 

“You- you’re so…” His voice trailed off, but I needed to know. What was I? What was he thinking?

“What, Jake?” I sounded breathy, my voice coming out shaky and quiet. He looked up into my eyes.

“You’re so wet.” He sounded stunned, awe lacing his tone. 

My throat closed, I swallowed hard. Embarrassment made my chest hot and I opened my mouth to say something. I’m sorry? But my mouth snapped shut because he moved his fingers through the wetness again and groaned, deep and low, before tracing up to my clit again and circling it.

He continued to watch my face, I think. I’m not sure, because my eyes slammed shut as my body bowed into the feeling, but it seemed like he was watching all of my reactions closely. I’m sure he saw my face drop when his fingers left my clit, only to see my jaw fall open when one moved lower and pushed inside me slowly.

Inside. Me. My eyes shot open and found him staring at me, nostrils flared. 

“Relax, T. You’re so tight.”

Was that bad? I pulled a deep breath into my lungs, in through my nose and out through trembling lips. Tried my hardest to relax every muscle, but I was wound so tight I felt like I would implode. 

I must have done something right, because his finger slid deeper and he murmured the worst thing I’d ever heard.

“That’s good, good girl.”

In hindsight, I know he wasn’t even trying to be sexy. But my body tightened around his finger again and he started to withdraw it. I panicked, gripped his wrist and dug my nails in just as he pushed all the way inside. 

“God!” I couldn’t help it, the invasion was overwhelming me.

“Shhh, I’ve got you.” He was pumping it inside me now. “Tell me what you want.” Focus made his features look so serious, but his voice was calm and coaxing. I had no fucking clue what to say.

So I said the first thing that popped into my head.

“More.” He smiled, his mouth curling up at the corners. I felt him withdraw his finger all the way, gasped as he swirled two over my clit, then entered me again with both. 

“Jesus, you’re so tight, you feel so good.”

So good, so good. That’s good. I let myself relax into his touch and within a few seconds my hips were moving in time with his fingers. My bottom lip was held tight between my teeth as I tried not to let any of the sounds building in my throat escape. He noticed.

His face came close, he pecked a kiss to my cheek then whispered into my ear. “Let me hear you, just be quiet.” 

I really had no choice, because as soon as the words left his mouth, he pressed his thumb to my clit and plunged his fingers deep.

“Shit Jake, yes yes yes…”

Still next to my ear, he tucked his face into my neck and kissed me there before making his way back to my lips. His tongue swept out over my bottom lip and I opened to him, let him in. My eyes fluttered closed.

Then I felt it, a tightening, low in my belly. A tingling even lower. I don’t know what I did that signaled to him, but he knew.

“Are you gonna come for me?” He asked between kisses. I didn’t answer. I couldn’t.

I didn’t have to. All it took was a few more pumps of his fingers, a couple circles with his thumb, and I had my first orgasm. 

Trust me when I tell you, it was a doozy. 

My entire body tensed, my back arched and my mouth opened. Thank God I couldn’t hear myself over the buzz in my head because I’m sure the sound I made was mortifying, but it didn’t matter. As quickly as it had gripped me, it started to fade away. Things came back into focus and I felt Jake’s fingers softly moving in shallow strokes before they stopped and he pulled them from me. 

“Wow.”

Who said that? Oh, it was Jake. I peeked up at him and his eyes were wide, almost black in the darkness. Then he pulled his hand from my pants and stood up so quickly, I was sure I’d done something wrong. I shot up to sit and had barely planted my feet on the floor when I heard his belt buckle clink. The shuffle of his shoes across the carpet as he toed them off his feet. The soft swish of denim falling down his legs and hitting the floor, more shuffling and he stepped out of his jeans.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit.

I didn’t even have time to truly panic, because he stepped back up to the bed and leaned down, kissing me briefly on the lips before using his hands to guide me backwards, laying across his bed again. He reached for the waist of my pants and, already undone, started to slide them off of my hips. I let him pull them down my legs until they got stuck at my shoes. 

He chuckled. I giggled, nervously. He slipped my shoes off then tugged my jeans from my feet. I shifted and sat back up. 

And there I was. Looking at Jake Kiszka in nothing but his skivvies and socks, and myself wearing much of the same. Except my tits were out, the cups of my bra pushing them up from underneath. 

Jake must have sensed my nerves, because he asked me if I was still sure. I nodded and he demanded to hear it out loud. 

“Yes.”

He turned to his nightstand, rummaged blindly  through the drawer, and when he straightened he slipped his thumbs under the elastic waistband of his underwear.

Then they hit the floor.

And there I was. Looking at Jake Kiszka in nothing but his socks. 

My cheeks exploded with heat and I was grateful that he couldn’t see me blushing in the dark, but I must have made a face, or a noise, because he was poised to tear open the condom wrapper and he stopped. 

“Are you okay?”

Oh shit, what did I do?

“Um-“ Cleared my throat. “I- yeah. Yes. Sorry. I’ve just, never done this before.”

“Ha ha, T. For real, what’s wrong?”

Ha ha? I wasn’t laughing. 

“Nothing. It’s fine, I just haven’t ever…” It trailed off, because there was something wrong with the way he was looking at me. 

“Fuck. You gotta be kidding me.” Ouch. 

His arms dropped to his sides, condom packet still between the first two fingers of his left hand. He flicked it away, it skimmed the surface of the nightstand and fell behind it.

No, no no no. 

“What? What are you doing?” There it was, a little bit of that panic, finally allowed to bloom under my skin. He bent and stepped back into his boxer briefs and pulled them up. My own semi-nudity suddenly felt shameful, so I tugged the cups of my bra back up to cover my breasts. “Jake, I still want th-“

“No. I can’t, T. You’re still a virgin?” 

Was I crazy, because I hadn’t seen anything wrong with that before this exact moment? He stepped back into his jeans and started pulling them up.

I reached out to stop him, a hand on his wrist. “Yeah, but who cares? It’s not that big of-“

“I care!” He ripped his arms away from me, pulled his pants up and fastened them. He continued as he started plucking my own clothes from the floor and shoving them into my shaking arms. “I can’t do that, I can’t be your first. I can’t fucking believe this.”

The first tear slipped and ran down my cheek, and I swiped it away, frustrated. “You’re overreacting, Jake. Why are you-“

He cut me off again. “How could you not tell me? What if I, if I had- God.”

“I didn’t know I was supposed to!” I jerked my shirt over my head and shoved my arms through the sleeves. “Why would you think I wasn’t?!” Pulled my jeans over my feet and up my legs. 

“Because Sam told me!”

My fingers stopped buttoning my pants, my head jerked up. “What?!”

“Sam said he thought you were fucking that idiot you dated last year, when you weren’t coming around for like a month. He-“

“I’m gonna kill him. That’s it, I’m finally gonna actually kill him.” 

Jake threw his arms up. “What was I supposed to think, T? With the way you were kissing me, and- and- you weren’t acting like a virgin!”

“Because you still think I’m some kind of slut, Jake? Is that it? Oh my God I’m so stupid.” I fastened my jeans and pulled my shoes on, then shoulder checked him on my way to the door.

It felt good, okay?

He was right behind me, forgetting his shoes and pulling his shirt on as he followed me down the stairs, but I didn’t stop. I bolted through the kitchen and outside, then into the garage.

A lot of people had left and I found Sam immediately, strewn across one end of the couch. He was probably crossfaded and ready to pass out, but he popped up as soon as he saw my face. 

“Tiny, where have you been? What’s wrong-“ Jake stormed into the garage behind me, and even through hooded, bleary eyes, Sam put some pieces together. Or tried to.

I was trying desperately not to cry, and I’m sure I looked it. I could feel how kiss-swollen my lips were, and I guessed that Jake’s looked the same. Add in the fucked up bed hair, and then two tears that slipped free and ran down my face. 

“What the fuck did you do..”

But Sam wasn’t talking to me. He was looking past me.

“What did you do?!”

The few of our friends that were left lingering in the garage were all staring at us. 

“Party’s over! GET OUT!” I flinched. I’d never heard Sam yell, not in anger. Everyone jumped and hustled through the side door until we were alone, and Sam took one deep breath before speaking. 

“T, come here, are you okay?”

I didn’t move, just nodded my head and wiped furiously at my cheeks. “Yes, I’m fine, I- I just wanted to tell you I was leaving.” He came to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. 

“What did you do?” I knew he was speaking to Jake, still standing silently behind me. 

“Sam, I don’t know what you’re thinking but-“

“Why is she fucking crying?”

I broke free of his hold and stopped him. “Sam, it’s okay. I’m fine, I swear. I’m going home.” I grabbed my bag from the floor beside the couch and flung it over my shoulder, lifted the garage door and slipped out.

I didn’t stop running until I reached my driveway.

[minkkumaz]

CROWNS CAN'T KEEP ME AWAY FROM YOU

the love life of a prince and a maid was never supposed to happen, but he couldn't help his feelings for you grow. he wanted nothing more than to show you the world, but the world itself wasnt on your side in this kingdom.

PAIRING park sungho x fem!reader WC 4.0k TAGS prince sungho + maid reader. forbidden love. fluff. angst. OMI NOTE this is for my lovely @woonhakist because i know she's always been talking about prince sungho since forever (specifically prince eric sungho but it's not quite similar hence why i added some other stuff to give it that vibe) and i rlly wanted to make this for her ahh she's my best friend and only deserves the best so i must pull through. i hope you like it ml <33

falling in love with a maiden as beautiful as you wasn’t in his honor. and whilst you were far from a princess, his heart still grew as he watched you effortlessly sway along to the music. there were ethereal women on every corner, yet it was a difficult task to pay attention to the one in front of him while you were there. 

the ballroom was crowded with royalty from kingdoms down the way. high ceilings that were richly decorated with elegant moldings and dazzling chandeliers that hung from above, casting a romantic glow throughout the space. the hard marble floors echoed the sound of high heels and dress shoes tapping along with the music. 

sungho politely held onto the corset - covered waist of the girl in front of him. she was well - mannered, courteous like any princess should. but what she lacked is that she wasn’t you. these fantasies drowned him, unable to properly focus. 

“are you even paying attention to me?” she scoffed at the zoned out look in his eyes, trying to snap him out of his daze.

“my apologies, miss. what was it you’re saying?” sungho sighed, pulling his attention back to her.

“i’m unsure if i can keep dancing with you if you won’t even look at me. what kind of prince are you?”

“i was raised to be charming, not sincere. i hope you find a prince for you in the future.” he bowed politely as she walked away from him, leaving him there alone.

and while he felt terrible, he was relieved to be out of reach from the grab of a princess. he looked around the scene of party gowns and neat suits before going in your direction. 

you stood in a corner, humming to yourself pretty melodies while cleaning up messes that guests left over by the snack table. 

the uniform you wore was clean despite the work you normally did, you tried to stay out of view from the rest of the elegancy. it felt out of place otherwise. though sungho had his eyes on you the entire time.

“good evening, y/n. have you been enjoying yourself at the event?” he questions, making you turn your head quickly. 

“ah– it’s quite difficult to enjoy a party when you’re cleaning up after it. but i hope you’re having fun!” you tell him, leaning on the broom you were holding.

“why don’t you loosen up a little? there’s so many people i doubt anyone would care.”

“mistakes like that could get me fired your majesty, but i appreciate the suggestion.” you put on a smile despite the frown on his face. 

“how about we get out of here then, yeah?” he grabs your hand before you could even respond. the contact shooting electricity through your veins.

sungho analyzes the crowd before pulling you around a corner, away and out of sight from the people. you run behind him to keep up with the tug of your arm, your flats pattering against the marbled floors. it wasn’t long before you reached an unfamiliar room.

he reached into the sage green collar of his shirt, moving aside his silk - like hair to unclip a long chain with a key attached to the end. it fit perfectly into the door, making a click sound upon opening. he lead you into the room before closing the door behind the two of you.

the view you were met with was beautiful. unlit candles stray along newspaper scattered desks, books on top of books stood tall next to other various knick knacks. and amongst it all, there was a large canvas that was illuminated from the moonlight peering through the stained windows. it had a multiple strokes of different colored paint, creating what could only be described as a masterpiece.

“your majesty? what’s all of this?” you asked curiously as he let go of your hand to place in his pockets.

“just call me sungho, we don’t need to be so formal when we’re in here.” he states, running his fingers along the dust on the shelves.

“sungho.. are you sure we won’t be caught? why did you even take me here?”

“is it a bad thing that i find you interesting? that i want to get to know you? status aside we can always be two friends that hang out, y/n.”

you chose to ignore these words he spoke to you and the blush that crawled up your porcelain cheeks, admiring the numerous collectables around the room. yet your focus trailed to the painted canvas you saw previously, standing tall on a wooden easel. 

“do you paint?” you query, moving your face closer to look at the finer details. 

“when i’m bored, or find something that inspires me.” he appeared next to you, looking into your curious eyes.

the proximity between the two of you was short, his features barely seen as he faced away from the glow that came through the window. however, the tension was still there. his pupils were small despite the darkness, as he felt there was enough light right in front of him.

you could feel his breath against your face, making you flinch and stumble backwards. a bucket of paint tipped over when you hit the floor, quickly scrambling to pick it up. thick gold pigment poured across the floor and on your uniform. panic ensued while sungho just chuckled.

“y/n, it’s okay. nobody ever comes in here, you don’t have to freak out.” he tells you, pulling up your distressed figure from the gold soaked floorboards.

“i’m so sorry! god i don’t know why i have to be such a clutz, i’ll go get the cleaning supplies–”

“i said it’s fine. no harm done, you didn’t even spill that much, i have a rag and some water in here. you can just take off your apron.” he reached around your waist to untie the white cloth around you, making you freeze sheepishly.

the apron was discarded into the trash behind him and the mess was wiped from the floor while you stood there embarassed. somehow you looked even cuter like this.

“here let me show you something, to get your mind off of this. no need to be embarrassed, pretty.” he signaled you to sit with him at the desk in the corner, smiling to himself at the deep red color on your face. 

the smell of fresh books and glue became more prominent as he pulled a scrap book from the side, removing the elastic keeping the pages together. gorgeous calligraphy titled each fragile sheet of paper.

“this is where i put photos of all the places i’ve travelled. other castles specifically. you’d think being a prince would make you sick of the sight of all this royalty stuff. but i appreciate the structure.” he pointed to a large palace.

“wow.. i’ve never seen this one before, what’s it called?” you looked between him and the pages.

“this is koz kingdom, i have a couple cousins there so we visit often. their gates are quite tall aren’t they?”

“very! they must have a lot of people trying to break in?” 

“every kingdom has it’s enemies, but they always have a large force of guards to protect them. but they’d rather be safe than sorry, you know?”

“mhm.” you mumbled as he flipped the page.

“these photos bring back a lot of memories, photography is an item that helps  you keep a lot more things. i take for granted how much of the world i’ve seen. this is your first time working under royalty, right?” he wonders, watching your expression shift slightly.

“yes but i don’t mind it at all. there are some moments that make me want to quit but, it pays great enough for me to get by.” you frown.

“i don’t understand how anyone could treat you terribly, my family can be harsh sometimes but they mean well.” he pauses, “just– don’t quit. i’ve enjoyed our time together.

“me too, sungho.”  you let your guard down around him, maybe this could get you in trouble but you didn’t care.

it didn’t occur to you how much you didn’t know about the prince, but you felt honored to get such deep insight about him. this broke down the walls of the idea that all princes were stuck up, waiting for a princess to appear around their arm for the sole purpose of ruling a kingdom. sungho was different.

the two of you carried conversation for the duration of the night. music got a little less loud and voices became almost non existent. he showed you beautiful things, varying from places he’s visited and souvenirs he’s collected over time. all of it fascinated you, you’ve never seen anything so unique.

time passed like a whirlwind, distracted enough to not bother checking the clock. angry footsteps became audible from down the hall, interrupting the soft moment between the two of you. you stood up suddenly at the sound of the doorknob turning, rushing behind a bookshelf to shield yourself from whoever was coming in.

“sungho! you were absent the entirety of the party my darling, what kind of prince does this make you?” a womans voice beamed angrily, it was the queen.

“i sincerely apologize, mother. but it felt like i danced with every princess in the room. couldn’t i of had a break? i have zero feelings for any of them.”

“excuses, sungho. you need to find a princess before the year comes to an end. your father and i aren’t getting any younger!” she spat, “love is irrelevant in these circumstances.”

“yes mother..”

“now go freshen up for bed, we have a lot of things planned for tomorrow.”  she left the room as fast as she came in, leaving you and sungho alone once again.

“can i come out now?” you peaked from around the shelf while sungho signaled you back.

“i’m sorry about that, y/n. but i think it’s best we continue this another time.” he exhaled, slightly annoyed.

“oh my gosh it’s no worries! i um– i had a lot of fun. thank you for showing me all of these things…” you confessed nervously.

“you’re cute, y/n. i’ll see you in the morning.” he raised a hand to ruffle your hair a bit before walking away from you. the room felt ten times more empty once he was gone, so you quickly escaped after he was decent ways down the corridor.

morning came quickly like a dream, the sun barely rose and you were awake in a happy mood. the night before almost felt unreal, the tenderness of the time you spent with sungho felt like it was out of a story book. but anything that happened, anything that could happen between the two of you was impermissable.

you were far from a princess. the closest thing to gold you’ve ever owned were the silly chocolate coins you’d get as a reward from your parents when you were little. thinking about whether a prince like him would like someone like you made your head hurt. 

trying your best to push these unrealistic thoughts away, you gathered a breakfast plate to take up to his room. it was your turn for room service this morning, and life couldn’t be any more on your side.

you left a gentle knock on the tall doors before letting yourself in. sungho was still sleeping peacefully, sprawled out on his large mattress. there was something about seeing him lay comfortably that warmed your heart. some people thought he was quite intimidating, but that couldn’t be true, he was like anyone else. 

while you moved the cart closer to  his bed, you went to open the curtains and let the light in. it emit a low groan from him and the rustling of sheets.

“goodmorning, your majesty.” you beamed, going back over to his bedside while he sat up.

“i said you can just call me sungho when it’s the two of us.” he said sleepily, rubbing his eyes.

“right. sungho. sorry it’s just still a little weird to me.” you told him, “i brought you your breakfast.”

“thank you, y/n. hang out with me while i eat, yeah? my parents are way too busy in the morning, i need the company.” he takes the plate in his hands, nodding his thanks.

“of course. did you get good sleep?” you ask while sitting on the edge of his bed.

“the best sleep in awhile actually, did you have fun last night?” he spoke in between bites.

“i did have a lot of fun, so thank you for that. i’m a bit shocked they didn’t catch on that i wasn’t cleaning up though.”

“there are too many employees in this castle, they can barely keep track of them, let alone how much they’re paying them.” he ponders for a second, “when i become king i’ll try to be better to my people.”

“well i’m sure you’ll do wonderfully. maybe i’ll be working under you soon, considering you’re already searching for wives.” you laugh it off, fiddling with a spare fork from the silverware bin under your cart.

“i highly doubt i’ll find a princess anytime soon.” because they’re not you, he thought. “ i’m more in it for love. but i know my parents think otherwise. plus, if i was the king i wouldn’t let you work under me.”

“what do you mean?”

“you deserve better than that. you need to see the world.”

“maybe if i get enough money i’ll travel to all of these places you told me about. check out their villages, see if they have good bread. then i’ll make sure to take lots of pictures for you to see when i come back!” you think ahead.

“oh– also y/n, i have a present for you.” he perks up, fishing through one of the drawers on his nightstand. the item he pulled was a dainty piece of jewelery, a small gold chain with a little lock at the end. 

“this is for me?” your eyes go wide as he turns your body so your back is facing him. shivers went down your spine as the cold material wrapped around your neck, the slight touch of his fingers against you during it all made you blush.

“looks pretty on you. i found it on a table right by the door before i left.” he smiles, turning your chin upwards so the top of your head lay at an angle against the middle of his collarbone. the position was romantic, making your head malfunction.

“sungho–” you stutter out, extremely flustered. seeing you shy also seemed to ignite something in him, as he quickly pulled away from you.

“sorry! i’m um– sorry about that. i should’ve asked, i just wanted to see what it looked like on you..” he rambles out, a change in attitude from what you’re normally used to.

“it’s okay! i should probably take the dishes out now but– thank you for the necklace it’s gorgeous sungho.” you stammer, grabbing his empty plate before rolling the cart out. when you are away from his room you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in.

your mind wandered as you paused in the middle of the hallway, leaning into the classical staircase railing. whatever happened couldn’t resurface again, or you’d have to deal with the consequences. and as if your mind was read, you heard your name being called from a ladies voice.

“y/n, we need to have a chat.” her stern voice shook you, her large gown creating significant distance between the two of you.

“yes, your highness.. what’s wrong?” you ask, trying your best to sound professional.

“what was that with my son?”

“i know nothing of the sorts  your highness, could you elaborate? your voice faltered.

“don’t act like a stupid maid. you were clearly flirting with my son and i cannot have any of that happening in my castle.” she accused, making your heart feel as if it was dropping to your feet.

“i apologize if things seemed that way but i could assure you that–”

“you’re fired if i see you getting anywhere close to sungho. you were hired to service us, not to play romance with my son. he has much better worries to tend to than someone like you.” she warned.

“of course. i understand.” you agreed, trying your best to hide the pout on your face.

she waltzed away, leaving you uneasy and hurt. just when you thought things might’ve been going up, they crashed down before you could even do anything to fix it.

wake up, work, ignore. you spent these next few weeks in refusal to break your silence, not wanting to risk anything further that could detriment your job. it was a difficult task pretending like you didnt see the dejected look on sungho’s face. how the boy that was deemed unnerving looked so solemn.

there were times when maybe you thought it was okay to say something, let him know that you could never hate him. but she was always there, staring daggers into your soul. the difference in status intimidated you.

on his account, every attempt to talk to you or initiate something failed horribly, as he watched you blatantly disregard him. it was your job to work under him and his family, not be his friend (nor his lover).

but when days like those became extra hard, you found comfort in the sea. the castle was atop a hill, not too far away from the salty ocean. you walked down a small, jagged path during your time off, leading you to an alluring sight.

waves crashed against the grainy rocks, washing up sand and other small fish before quickly returning back to the vast blue waters. you climbed over to the tallest one, just enough so you could dip your toes in the water without getting your whole body soaked. 

you sat there for awhile, letting the breeze flow through your hair and comfort you. being alone with your thoughts wasn’t the most ideal, but this view made up for everything. it was a complicated situation you found yourself in. a love found in the prince sounded stupid, but it didn’t seem so far away.

something interrupted your thoughts, as you felt a figure approaching behind you. looking behind your shoulder, you saw a distressed sungho. the top few buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned and his hair slick back.

“i wasn’t sure if i’d find you here, but i’m glad i looked anyways.” he called out to you over the sound of the waves. you turned your head away in your best attempt to ignore him.

“you can’t ignore me forever, y/n. what did i do wrong?”

“it’s not about what you did, sungho, it’s about what we can’t do.” you claimed.

“someone found out about us hanging out, didn’t they?” he guessed, earning a sorry nod from you.

“i appreciate how kind you’ve been to me since i started working here, and all the beautiful things you showed me that one night. but we were too close for comfort and i can’t risk that.” 

“everything i did, it was all for you, y/n. have you not caught on how much i adore you?” he approached the rock you sat on, sitting down next to you.

“don’t say things you don’t mean, sungho. this isn’t a fairy tale.”

“i can’t just pretend like i didn’t imagine our whole lives together the second i saw you. why can’t it just be true?” his words sounded more broken.

“there wasn’t a life to imagine. even if we’re meant to be together, we aren’t meant to last.” you wept, letting the tears finally fall. he wrapped an arm around you, finally letting you cry into his shoulder. the cold from the wind couldn’t compete with the heat you felt against his body.

“but why does it have to be like that? can’t we run away to a world where i don’t have to be a prince that marries a princess?” he whispered.

“that’s impossible.”

“nothing is impossible, as long as we have the drive to do it.” he cupped your tear streaked face in his hands, closing the gap to kiss you passionately. lips moving against one another to trap a love so immense that nobody but the two of you would be able to understand. 

he pulled away, the only evidence being the miniscule strand of saliva that still connected you both. you looked at him shocked, mouth gaping to say something.

“we don’t have to be prince and maid, when we can just be sungho and y/n. theres a village not too far down the dell, we could purchase a boat and explore the world.”

“and what happens when we’re found?”

“i know we can figure something out, we can’t give up until we’ve at least tried.”

“sungho.. i still don’t know about all of this.” you protested.

“just come with me, y/n. even if you say no it won’t change how i feel for you. it won’t change how i’m constantly thinking about you.” he wiped the tears from under your eye, kissing the spot afterwards.

“i don’t know what i’d do with myself if i told you no, you’re a little too convincing.”  you gave him a small smile.

“theres that pretty smile. everything will be okay, just follow my lead.” he reassured, giving you another peck on your lips.

you and sungho fled into the woods that night, leaving no traces or what - ifs, just a note to inform the king and queen that he was okay. their prized son that they worked so hard to shape into the charming prince he was today, escaping away with the girl of his dreams.

hand in hand, you kicked dirt behind you as you ran quickly through the bushes and trees. your laugh sounded melodic behind him as he lead you through the dell. everything about this felt wrong, but with you it was so right. he never wanted to go back if it meant the relationship between you and him had to be painted in his mind.

upon arrival at the village, everyone treated the two of you kindly, handing you different foods and necessities. orange hues from lanterns nearby casted light upon your face, and sungho thought you looked unreal like this.

and though you both could mutually go on about how much you cared for one another, this was the moment that dreams turned into reality. watching him untie the rope from the dock, you sat prettily in an outfit he bought you at the village. it was something new from your usual uniform, and sungho couldn’t keep his eyes off of you.

“are you ready?” he asks, settling himself across from you. the small boat sinking slightly at him entering.

“never been more ready. i was thinking we could hit this island first since it’s the closest.” you showed him a blob on the scroll you were holding.

“they have delicious foods in their town, i think you’d enjoy them.”

“really? i’m excited then!” you exclaimed.

“i’m glad you’re excited. there’s so many places i want to take you. especially my cousins kingdom. the gates are tall but when you see everything inside it makes so much sense!”

“cooler than your kingdom?

“everything is cooler than my kingdom, love. the only thing i got out of it was you.” he responded cheekily.

“gosh sungho you’re such a goof.” you grinned ear to ear as he pushed into the water.

“it’s just because i’m so in love with you. i would’ve backed off if you didn’t want to be with me you know.” he admit, rowing the two of you in the direction of the island.

“i’ll always want to be with you, my prince.”

“the feeling is mutual, my princess.” 

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[bakerstreethound]

🎻Send me a song 🎻 I’ll analyze it and tell you what fictional it reminds me of and the scenario that comes to my mind.

I know how much you love Sleep Token, I will pick their song 'Alkaline' for you. Have fun. 💙 ~ Bluebellinbakerstreet

I hope you are buckled up for the ride on this one because I adore Sleep Token’s music and will probably not shut up about it for a long time, so I thank you for sending one of their songs for I am chomping at the bit. I hope you enjoy some angst here! There is some softness if you squint.

Heart of Molecules

Contains spoilers for Good Omens Season 2; you have been warned! This is perhaps a love story, but not one you were expecting. Graphic by @firefly-graphics

Every once in a while something changes, and she's changing me. It's too late for me now, I am altered. There is something beneath. 

In short, Alkaline reminds me of a love story between Angel Crowley and the stars and nebulas he created. The absolute joy he radiates at his creations and the wonder and joy on his face are unmatched. He’s so unbelievably poud and happy at his gorgeous conjurings he worked on for who knows how long, before the beginning of time itself!

I’ve said this is a love story (and will continue to say so) this nebula and stars he falls in love with the complexity of the universe, knowing the significance of it that it’s too important to be erradicated. I would go so far as to say Aziraphale and the nebula Crowley created are both loved equally in Crowley’s eyes. 

She's not acid nor alkaline, caught between black and white. Not quite either day or night. She's perfectly misaligned. I'm caught up in her design, and how it connects to mine. I see in a different light the objects of my desire.

Again, it is Angel Crowley’s love letter to the universe he created and this ends up all being in a dream. Then he gets the notion this is the universe beckoning him home (even though he’s now a demon and needing refuge), and when he wakes along some old country road, asleep in his Bentley, and it all crushes back into him everything he lost and he wonders about the possibility of escaping back to his first love, the wonder of the stars, because he finds confort in them, as if it was a fragment of a memory long gone but he can’t pinpoint them. He knows the dream he has is definitely a call back to where he could be welcomed back with open arms, without judgement. 

It was comforting to him, yes and he could nurse what was left of his shattered heart. Which is  a reason the nebula poked at his dream, there’s still a connection to the universe he holds dear and he can’t stop thinking about them, for a creator cannot forget their creation. 

Ooh, let's talk about chemistry, 'Cause I'm dying to melt through to the heart of her molecules, till the particles part like holy water. If anything, she's an undiscovered element. Either born in hell or heaven-sent. Either way I'm into it. 

When he does return to Alpha Centuri the nebula there welcomes him, burning bright, welcoming him into her embrace. His glorious nebula burns brighter than ever, shifting in its form (almost human but not quite), wrapping him in their own sort of embrace, though he doesn’t feel the burn of them or is singed. He offers them a small smile, his glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. 

 “Gosh,” he holds back a tear, “You’re gorgeous as ever.” 

The nebula swirls around him once again, in a show of excitement, bathing him in a cloakof stars and sunsets he recognizes. Almost akin to Joseph’s coat of many colors, it drapes along his shoulders shimmering and dancing amongst the stars, colors enhanced and forms to him as if it was always meant to be. In a way it was, for the creation had crafted it for their creator when they were no longer an angel, waiting for the day when they would return to return what rightfully belonged to them. 

Not acid nor alkaline, caught between black and white. Not quite either day or night. She's perfectly misaligned. I'm caught up in her design, and how it connects to mine. I see in a different light, the objects of my desire.

Crowley chokes back more tears for this was the more than he thought he deserved. Eons of having his heart broken the almost eternal pining for his angel up above. Perhaps one day they would meet again, but for now, he’s back where he belonged in a universe of his own creation, safe amongst the stars. Here they welcomed him home tenfold. Here he could perhaps find the peace to mend his broken heart. 

******

Ace's 5yr Celebration

[antianakin]

Hi! I hope you're having a great day or night :)

Theres a question I've been wanting to ask for a few days now so I might aswell ask you now.

What's your thoughts on the Clone Wars (2003) 2D Micro-Series and the Clone Wars Multimedia Project?

I heard some Star-Wars Fans say that they prefer the Multi-Media Project and Clone Wars 2003 over the 2008 Clone Wars and think that it fits better in the Prequel Trilogy Continuity than Clone Wars 2008, so I'm curious on what's your take?

So I only ever watched like half of the 2003 Clone Wars show, which I think is what you're calling the 2D Micro-Series that aired between AOTC and ROTS in very short like 2-3 minute installments, so my opinion of it is obviously somewhat limited since I never saw the entire thing. I was watching it on YouTube I think very shortly before it got put onto Disney+ and the last half ended up unavailable before I could go see it and I haven't gone back to finish it because I figure I've kind-of gotten the gist.

Which I guess tells you something of my opinion on it on its own.

I don't dislike it by any means, but I think that the 2003 Clone Wars show is, by its nature, VERY different from the 2008 show. It doesn't take itself even HALF as seriously as the 2008 show does, which means that the stakes are very low and I as the audience can give it a lot more leniency on a lot of things. I'm not EXPECTING these big epic storylines in the 2003 show because that just, quite simply, isn't what it's made for. The 2008 show on the other hand clearly WANTS to be taken seriously most of the time and definitely takes ITSELF more seriously, especially in later seasons where it definitely hits on some heavier topics. So as a viewer, especially an adult one, I tend to sort-of analyze it with the perspective that it's a show that does WANT to be taken seriously to some degree and it wants me to feel things more than a slight thrill at the cool visuals.

So I had some good fun watching some of those early 2003 episodes, like the Mace Windu one and the original Kit Fisto on Mon Cala episode, etc. It's a silly show with some silly little storylines in a fun 2D art style.

But, while there are a LOT of things I think the 2008 show did badly and missed the mark on, there's also a lot of things they ADDED to the worldbuilding that I really love and some genuinely emotional storylines that have stayed with me. In particular, the clones. I don't think anything truly gave the clones the real character and pathos that the 2008 show did, I LOVE the way they were written in 2008, I love how much they want the AUDIENCE to care about them and the nuances added to the characters in how they view themselves and the galaxy and their place in it, I love their relationships with the Jedi, and I love the addition of the chips in the sense that I really like the way it changes Order 66 into this additional tragedy for the clones and the way their fate parallels the Jedi's. They would always mean each other's doom, but it also meant that their people were intertwined from the beginning and this was actually something all of them really cared a lot about and genuinely loved and appreciated, which just makes Order 66 THAT MUCH MORE TRAGIC (and I'm an angst ho so I love that shit). And I am of the firm opinion that the Umbara arc is the best-written storyline in the entire show, hands down, I would rather have the Umbara arc even if it means having the rest of TCW along with it than not have the Umbara arc at all, that's how much I love it. It's heart-wrenching and difficult and visually stunning and complicated and one of the very few storylines that allows the clones to truly shine.

And I like that the 2008 show was able to give a little more depth to some of the Jedi side characters in a way the 2003 show just couldn't (I recognize comics often did more with these characters, but we're not talking about those right now lol). In particular I'm thinking of Shaak Ti and Aayla and Ki-Adi-Mundi and Mace and Luminara and Adi and Eeth and Kit. Barriss of course got treated better in 2003 than in 2008, sadly, but GENERALLY the Jedi characters who got even one or two episodes of focus in the 2008 show got treated kindly and given some additional personality that I found really nice and gave me more Jedi characters to love. In 2003, we get to see them do some action-y stuff that's fun, but from what I saw, they don't necessarily get given super distinct personalities.

So, I guess, TL;DR, the 2008 show is able to do a lot more things regarding the Jedi and clone characters who had up until then remained pretty sidelined that the 2003 show did not, but the more in-depth storylines of the 2008 show invite a deeper analysis of it sometimes that it doesn't always live up to for me while the 2003 show remains a fun, light-hearted, silly romp that can be enjoyed for what it is.

If there's more to the "Clone Wars Multimedia Project" just assume I don't know what it is and haven't seen it so I have no real opinions on it.

[husbandhannie]

for now

pairing: jeonghan x reader

word count: 2.4k

genre: fluff, mild angst, mildly suggestive

warnings: some very mild suggestive descriptions, reader wears a dress at some point but no explicit references to gender are made, angst about catching feelings, a stalker situation that is barely described, mild injuries, some homesickness

a/n: i don't know where i got the motivation from, but i started writing and just didn't stop. this isn't the kind of writing i do generally, so i'm not sure how this went. this is entirely unedited. thanks @starlightjoong for proofreading!

taglist: @itsveronicaxxx @zurikyo @husbandhoshi @junhui-recs

the realization that you’re in love with yoon jeonghan hits you like sinking in warm water - softly and gently, then all at once. 

it shouldn’t have surprised you, not really - not with all the already blurred lines you were crossing with him. friends-with-benefits is a hard enough endeavor to maintain even when you stick to your limits and original agreements - something you and jeonghan definitely didn’t do.

you remember the first time you met jeonghan. as a member of a popular dancing crew, you had met plenty of idols before, but not many of them looked at you as keenly as jeonghan did that night. not that you mind, everyone has been civil to you for the most part, treating you as what you are - a member of staff, a choreographer, someone to help them deliver a better performance. when jeonghan looked at you, however, it was like being put in a shimmering spotlight - right there in the trusted walls of your studio, his eyes glinting as he complimented you on your routine. “i saw your recent video”, he had said, a polite but impressed smile glowing his face, “we’re lucky to be able to work with you”.

save a few stolen glances you’ll never admit to, you manage to keep your eyes away from him that night. 

you remember the first time you voiced out your attraction to him. it wasn’t direct and you would deny it if asked, but both of you knew what you meant. he was present for a joke between you and your crewmate, one about your favorite criminal minds character, and how she was the ‘perfect woman’. “what do you see in her?”, jeonghan had asked once your friend left to take a call, curious eyes searching yours. “oh”, you chewed on it for a second, “it’s hard to put it in words. she’s fun and easygoing, i think that’s definitely a part of it. but she’s also - “, your eyes met his intent ones, “serious, when required. deliberate”, you wondered who you were talking about now, “understands people, and gets along with everyone but”, a pause, “very few know her, and she wouldn’t trust most people to love her”. he had cocked his head, analyzing your words before murmuring, “and you like that?”

your friend entered the room before you could answer. 

you remember the first time you saw jeonghan angry. a stalker had managed to enter your studio, on a night when there were very few people in what you thought was a secure space. you and a crewmate dealt with the intruder, managing to get the situation under control with minimum injuries. one look at jeonghan and his members showed that they were infuriated - at the perpetrator, at not being able to do anything themselves, at the small harm that it caused you. outside of a cursory glance at your friend, jeonghan’s eyes didn’t stray from you though, his stern jaw in sharp contrast with the gentle fingers that fluttered over the bruise on your wrist.

you’ll never say it out loud, but you’ve thought about those tender touches often. and that jaw too.

you remember the first time jeonghan held your hand. since the stalker incident, it had become a regular occurrence for him and his members to show up at your apartment for movie nights - for some reason they thought they owed you their company (not that you minded). you were sitting on your usual seat next to jeonghan when an emotional argument between a mother and daughter came up on the screen, and you were holding back tears before you knew it, slowly taking deep breaths and digging your fingertips in your thighs. nimble fingers intertwined with yours after a minute, jeonghan’s eyes not straying from the television screen while he gave you a gentle squeeze. you rested your head on his shoulder for a few minutes while you closed your eyes to collect yourself, hoping the darkness in the room made your actions unnoticeable. 

that night you wondered if you had imagined the feeling of his lips on your hair. 

you remember the first time you kissed jeonghan. you were at a somewhat exclusive restaurant with a few of your friends, and had run into jeonghan on the way to the bathroom. almost like you couldn’t help it, your eyes scanned his elegantly dressed form while he took in your maroon dress and black heels, his gaze stilling for a moment on the red of your lips. “you clean up nice”, he had said with an appreciative smile, his fingers running through the tips of his hair when you returned the compliment. when you mentioned you were leaving early because all your friends had partners they wanted to get back to, he had offered to drive you home. “please, i insist”, he had said when you protested, “let them go back to their warm beds”. a car ride and a few more compliments later, he was on your couch - his lips pressing open-mouthed kisses on your neck while your gasps filled up your living room, the hands on your thighs almost making you forget that you hadn’t talked about, well, this.

almost, but not quite. one honest “let’s stick to sex because neither of us has the time for anything else” later, he was in your bed, running his hands on your skin like he couldn’t get enough.

you remember the first time you slept in jeonghan’s arms. he had shown up at your door after an especially tiring day, dull eyes missing their usual sparkle. ignoring his feeble protests, you had helped him wash his hair before ordering dinner, gently coaxing him to your bed when he mentioned leaving. with his frustratingly sensitive ears, he lays as far away from you on the bed as he can, to be able to sleep at all. this time though, he stayed close to you, drifting off with his face nestled in your chest and his arms wrapped around your waist, slurred whispers of gratitude leaving his lips before he fell asleep.

jeonghan has a key to your apartment now, so he can let himself in when you’re asleep or not there - even if it’s just to lay down on your bed.

looking back at it now, it shouldn’t be a surprise at all that you’re in love with jeonghan. your time with him reads like something you’ll find in a buzzfeed article titled “9 activities to do with a lover”. from having impromptu dinners to being each other’s sounding boards to watching insignificant movies before drifting off entangled in each other, ofcourse you were going to fall for him. it wouldn’t surprise you if you loved him before his lips touched yours for the first time, if you loved him when his fingertips traced your bruised wrist so tenderly.

and yet, when you wake up at dawn to jeonghan’s form next to yours, one of his hands lightly resting on yours while his face barely touches your shoulder, it takes you a minute to realize that a) you feel much better just by the sight of him in your bed and the feel of his weight snuggled against you, much better since you texted him you were having a bad day, and b) that you’re hopelessly in love with yoon jeonghan. 

it’s quiet for a moment while you ponder on your unsurprising discovery, your eyes tracing his lines in the dim light, your mind recalling past instances where you thought you felt something more for him - more than attraction, more than companionship, more than friendship, more than fondness. it was love, you know now.

then it hits you - holy shit, you’re in love with yoon jeonghan. in love - with someone who you agreed to not have feelings for. if he’s kept up his end of the agreement then he doesn’t feel the same way about you - and the notion is enough to make your chest ache, your body going rigid while you consider the possible heartbreaking situation you’re in. 

you’re in love with yoon jeonghan, and he might not love you back. 

jeonghan must’ve sensed your ordeal, for he moves then, sleepy eyes fluttering open, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand slowly. “go back to sleep”, he nuzzles your neck and whispers, “it’s early”.

your heart constricts a little before a small smile breaks on your face, giddiness bubbling up inside you. it can wait, you think as you press a kiss on his head, it can wait until later. 

first rays of sunlight shine through the curtains on your window while you lay snuggled in jeonghan’s arms, his slow breaths on your skin tickling you just right. you’re in love with yoon jeonghan and he’s asleep in your arms - and for now, that’s enough.

the night of the long-awaited first rainfall of the season is when jeonghan realizes he’s in love with you. how fitting, he thinks.

he’s not surprised by it, not really. he’s been suspecting this for a while now, the possibility crossing his mind more and more frequently as your relationship progressed. when the realization finally arrives, it’s like downpour after weeks of humid haze - a foregone conclusion, yet something that you can’t look away from.

it was autumn when jeonghan met you for the first time. you were wearing your thin purple jacket that october night, one that you had shed when the dance class started. if he has to nail down what made you so irresistible that day, so much so that he barely managed to look away despite the professional setting, it would be how you tried to make your friends smile - trying to lift some weight off of heavy shoulders and bring some light in tired eyes, you shot off gentle jokes in an effort to lift the spirits of your crewmates. whether it was your humor or the fond smile you accompanied it with, it worked - and before he knew it, jeonghan was enamored. 

he likes that jacket. it doesn’t do much to stop the cold, but he feels warm in it. 

it was early december when jeonghan realized that his feelings for you ran deeper than just simple attraction. he had looked up at the sound of your laughter, his mood instantly souring when he saw the source was some joke your friend had made. i want to make you laugh like that, his mind had supplied before he could stop it, and he knew then that there was more to his feelings than he had been willing to acknowledge. 

he knows what it’s like to make you laugh now, and how your body trembles in his arms when he’s cracked a particularly egregious joke. 

he kissed you for the first time later that month. the car had been hot inside because he had cranked the heater up to warm you up, the dress you were wearing probably didn’t do much to keep you at a comfortable temperature. all of that slipped away, though, when you leaned in to press your lips on his in front of your apartment building - the heat of the car, the slight discomfort from his shirt, even your damned legs that he had a hard time not staring at. for a moment, it was just you - enchanting and lovely, dreamy and real. it was just you, with your tentative fingers touching his cheek, your lips moving slowly against his, stretching into a smile when he pulled you closer. it was just you. 

he’s addicted to it now, how you smile against his lips.

it was a spring afternoon, the first time jeonghan saw you cry. he had seen you tear up from movies before, but he had never seen you cry. he had expected the urge to protect and comfort that took over him, pulling you in his arms instantly and pressing kisses on your hair while you cried about an argument you had with your mother. he wasn’t expecting the sense of privilege that came over him though, of being allowed to see you without your carefully constructed armor. you had called him deceptively private once, while you were talking about a tv character you like. you would know, since you’re not much different. 

he’s had that privilege many times since, and he cherishes it more than he can say.

no, it’s not a surprise at all when the realization finally hits him. after months of suspecting and wondering and waiting, the certainty is almost a relief: he’s in love with you. 

the two of you have spent the last couple of hours in your bed, tucked away under the blanket while rain pattered on your windows. your face is devoid of its usual liveliness as you talk about how much you miss home, and how hard it is to hang up every time your sister calls. he makes a small joke after a few moments of silence, and for a moment your eyes brighten as some of the sadness slips from your face, your features morphing into a fond grin. your laughter mingles with the sound of july rain, and jeonghan doesn’t think he’s heard a more joyful sound before. i love you, he almost says it loud, giddy eyes unable to look away from you, god, i love you. 

he’s silent for a few moments then, pondering on this entirely expected discovery. you must’ve noticed the change, as you always do, for you touch his cheek lightly, his name tenderly falling out of your lips. say it again, he wants to say, say my name again.

“i’m alright”, he gives you a wink, pulling you closer so your nose touches his, “just realized something”.

“oh?”, you smile indulgently at him, “may i know what it is?”

“not yet”, he rubs his nose against yours, “soon. not ready to tell anyone”.

something fleeting shadows your face before you mask it with an easy smile, a look that jeonghan has seen for the past week. he wonders: is it love?

“alright then”, you chuckle, “when you’re ready”.

he needs to think about this, he knows. he needs to evaluate the possibilities, needs to prepare himself for rejection if you don’t feel the same way. but that’s for later. for now, he has you in his arms, laughing at his jokes while rain pours down outside. for now, you’re here and he’s in love with you. for now, that’s enough.

“yeah”, he whispers, hand moving to squeeze yours, “you’ll be the first to know”.

[dangermousie]

Farscape rewatch ep 2x09: Out of their Minds

One of my faves and is a rare just plain hilarious ep which is just pretty wild and joyful, though even it manages to have that little heartbreaking moment with D’Argo and Pilot and it’s very on brand that logical talking solves nothing for Zhaan and she has to resort to violence.

But yeah, it’s a very hard ep to discuss, almost as hard to write about as it is fun to watch because what is there to analyze in a goofy, crazy ep where everyone switches bodies?

Of course, it says something that for the Moya crew, switching bodies with each other while on a ship about to be blasted to pieces counts as a good day. In a way it’s parallel to S1’s ‘Through the Looking Glass:’ near death and craziness and off-kilter stuff with a happy ending and we know the angst is about to hit, with the Gammak base and torture. (The same happens in S3. After the lovely, hilarious LoMo ep, it’s all angst from there. S4 doesn’t have that as the whole thing is pretty grim).

Lots of caps and long so behind read more...

  I think OOTM is a wonderful acting ep: the actors must be having a blast and they are pulling off a really difficult feat, acting like each other, and they do it brilliantly. Ben Browder gets Rygel’s intonations down pat, Claudia Black’s imitation of Crichton’s guy mannerisms and the thumb to the mouth is awesome. And Anthony Simcoe’s body posture is spot-on Chiana.

  Another thing I love about this ep is that reactions of the characters are so spot on about what they would do in other people’s bodies but most shows would never go there: Rygel in John’s body needing to use the facilities, John in Aeryn’s body ‘trying out the equipment’ (I love that scene) etc etc. And of course, this ep reconfirms that Moyans listen to John more than to anyone else. Zhaan refuses to follow the plan to change them all back, until she thinks it comes from John (in reality Rygel in John’s body). Though Rygel does show unexpected depths when he talks about revenge being his goal. We forget often that he is a former Dominar, but he is. Hmmm, what else. Zhaan once again proves compassionate but ruthless when necessary. The ending is awesome. One of the funniest, most perfect ones. Chiana and D’Argo finally deciding to get it on:

Love D being bashful and Chi teasing and the dawning look of comprehension on John’s eyes as he watches him running after her. 

And ohhh, the sheer joy of the bit with John pretending to still be Rygel and then going ‘joke, Aeryn’ and she jumps on him and they wheel around the floor, laughing. So much giddy joy.

But yes, as I mentioned I so love that when characters switch bodies, the show brings up the stuff shows normally do not but would totally happen. Like Rygel needing to pee while in Crichton’s body and having no idea how and Crichton (in Aeryn’s body) having to walk him through it. Hilarious but also no other show would go there.

And the way the two of them get to play with each other’s bodies in a way neither probably thought they would. First we have Crichton in Aeryn’s body spellbound by boobs - they jiggle. Ahahahahaha. And then feeling them up as Aeryn in Rygel’s body watches irascibly. This show was WILD.

And of course, they are equal in body curiousity as we see in one of the best tags ever. Crichton saying ‘You gotta walk a mile in someone’s shoes’ and Aeryn replying wryly that she knew what he was doing when he was in her shoes (feeling her up) and his grinning ‘give me a break’ and then her sly little comment that it’s OK ‘you were in my shoes, I was in your pants…’ and his laughing and running after her and just…joy.

I always wondered what the status of their physical relationship before Look at the Princess was. I do think A Human Reaction was a one-off sex thing, but they do seem very comfortable with each other - I bet they are in the not saying or thinking anything on the conscious level (at least Aeryn is only subconsciously thinking about it; John is clearly way more attuned) but giddy stage and it’s so lovely...

[catboyhizashi]

My freshly collected thoughts about season two of good omens. (Not spoiler free!!)

First off, the negatives bc I need to talk about why I loved this season but before that, oh man.

I think you can really feel a decline in the quality of the dialog. Of course the characters were still fun and the banter works but I just feel like it was much simpler? Not everywhere, but there were some scenes where I did specifically noticed it. I also felt like the pacing was....irritating. The last episode ended up being jam-packed with so many things and some early episodes felt like they were dragged out, without any story happening. I missed some form of look back at the story from season one, it felt a bit disconnected but then again years have passed so it didn't bother me that much. Now the ending. My first reaction was why the hell was it necessary?? My prediction to this season was that through the parallel of Maggie and Nina our sweet sweet ineffable husbands would realize that oh!! they're also in love. I won't go into too much detail about what I thought would happen bc basically none of it came true lmao but I really did think we'd get them a happy although complicated ending. In the last scene, Aziraphale did feel like he regressed right back into his season 1, early season self. I'm not saying his decision and actions feel completely disconnected from his overall character but their arc this season was so sweet, they really showed how much they relied on each other (carved it out for ourselves and everything). And in this context I feel like he wouldn't have abandoned Crowley like that. And I know Aziraphale holds so many complicated feelings towards heaven, they just felt so much closer than that. But alas. The angst is beautifully painful, I have to admit.

Now the good part!

I am so happy we got to see pre-fall Crowley :") (he is never beating the babygirl allegations). Also I cannot believe their meetcute was the creation of our universe 😭. The historical flashbacks own my heart, I was very happy we got so many of them. Especially the Job part, it gave so much more context to their relationship and to me put a lot of what we see even in season one in a new and exciting perspective. They acted so incredibly married the whole season 😔 Crowley taking care of the bookshop, giving him the car, CROWLEY SMILING ABOUT NINA AND MAGGIE ??? he was so adorable. The fact that Aziraphale knows how much it means to Crowley to look after him????? All of these things just made the ending more painful but they were very well done. You also can't analyze this season without talking about the acting. John Hamm was amazing, memory loss Gabriel was so funny I wish he had a little more room to play with this situation but we obviously can't have everything. David and Michael were amazing per usual. Their dynamic is so incredible, the way they use a certain voice for these characters, the little mannerisms and facial expressions I loved in season one absolutely return and are maybe turned up to a 150% and I loved every minute of it. You can really tell that they wanted us to feel how well these two idiots work together, and just how much they care about one another. Their flashbacks and the way they talk to each other still makes me smile, and gives you that sort kf warm feeling. Like it'd be nice to be around them.

To summarize, I'm not completely happy with how this season played out and some of the creative decisions are foggy to me but it got me right back at 2019, being excited and emotional. I missed this show so much, I love these characters so much and I cannot wait to see where season 3 takes us. (BC THERE WILL BE A SEASON 3 STREAM IT PEOPLE STREAM. IT.)

[peepsibo]

hi !!! could you possibly write headcanons for robin arellano x babysitter reader ? (platonic) w the reader maybe being like 15-17 or something. still older but still in school so they know some people robin talks abt ?<3

my first 'x reader' request <3 i hope you enjoy i have no clue what i am doing LOL. this became a lot longer than i realized... also i plan on sunday night/ monday finally answering my inbox!

(platonic) robin arellano x babysitter! reader (gn), (platonic) casper crew x babysitter! reader ; headcanons; non-canon, fluff

cw: mentions of violence, cursing, implied child abuse, small angst portion at the end that follows canon sorry i couldn't resist </3

ok so first off, you probably started babysitting him when he was like in 4th grade so like 10 years old and you were 14 trying to make some extra money

and your neighbor mrs. arellano needed someone to be with her son for four hours after school cause lets say robin's uncle had new working hours

you would pick robin up from school that let out at 3, help him with homework, make him a snack, play with him until 6 pm when his uncle would return home

very easy job!

except in the beginning robin would NOT open up

anything you would do he would look at you indifferently and not react

at like all

not even when u made his food into fun shapes

you: i cut your sandwich into fun faces! :)

robin: *slowly blinks, takes the plate of the sandwiches with no expression and walks away*

so for the first two weeks you saw him as a little brat and you couldn't handle this kid

you were considering asking mrs. arellano if she could get another babysitter so you could quit or at least watch him less

that was until one day, the day you planned to talk to mrs. arellano about getting a new sitter when this kid

absolutely out of nowhere

would not stop clinging to you

you went to pick him up from school and he zoomed out the building and fucking JUMPED to hug you

you: ????

like he wanted to be carried home, and when you couldn't cause his back pack was heavy (wtf were teachers assigning to 4th graders these days???) he settled for holding your hand and talking about his day

and when you got him home he wanted to help prepare his snack

turns out he was analyzing you to see if you were a good person, a vibe check sort to speak

and you passed! congratulations!

also turns out for his art project in school he drew you :(

(you have that photo in your wallet and show everyone even when robin is like 18 you will go 'look what robin drew for me!' and he will threaten to hit u')

so now you are stuck with this kid for the rest of your life

when his 11th birthday rolls around you're the first person this kid invites

also at this party this is when you meet finney!

robin is SO stoked to have you meet his best friend he wouldn't stop talking about it leading up to his birthday

ok so timeskip to when robin is 13 and you are 17

while he doesn't need a babysitter now he will not let you go

you are like an older sibling to him he will be damned if you stop hanging out with him

think steve and dustin from stranger things

anyways

and since now robin has like gotten in many fights now and has a rough kid reputation and now u get the pleasure of making sure his wounds don't get infected! so happy 4 u

u scold him a lot the first couple times he get in a fight while taking care of him so he has finney clean him up before he sees you after school to avoid that

speaking of finney

he would be friends with the rest of the casper crew so now you have seemingly adopted them too

i think out of the rest of the casper crew, besides robin, you would be pretty close to vance and griffin

vance, because he also is a rough kid like robin but you quickly break down vance's walls surprisingly

he tries to act tough but when u call him kiddo/ help take care of his hair he gets real quiet and has a small smile on his face

honestly ur just good with rougher kids, like when u grow up u end up going to become a therapist to help those rougher kids and understand them

and griffin because he's small, u could pick him up like a ragdoll and throw him against the wall u have this need to protect him

but he's also the biggest instigator so now u have to really control him

griffin, to vance: me, personally, i would not let that slide

you: *sighing, having to hold both vance and griffin at the collars of their shirts like cats*

you about robin: they are lovely amazing kids they are my pride and joy :)

you about vance and griffin: these are my dogs, they have rabies

for finney, you also unknowingly adopt gwen alongside him

they are a two-in-one deal tbh

when nights get bad at their house cause of their father, they leave to stay the night at yours and you comfort them

so u especially take up a more parent role for those two

also remember i mentioned u cutting robin's food into fun shapes? you bring back your star cookie cutters for finney

he acts nonchalant but inside he's freaking out over the star shaped sandwiches

for billy/ paperboy, hes like the most normal of the bunch, the straightman if u will

when u have to leave the room for like two minutes u always have billy be in charge (he has those spray water bottles u use on cats when they misbehave)

now bruce... i feel like he unknowingly makes enemies with people so now u have to protect this kid from getting jumped and he has not a damn clue what's going on

u knock on his head and u hear an echo (/lh)

so atp robin def has a key to your house so now they can terrorize u whenever u want

you, walking into your home: hello people who don't live hear

robin: yo

vance: sup

bruce: hey!

billy: *waves without looking up from his book*

finney: robin brought us here

griffin: we were out of doritos so we came to steal from you!

they all take a year away from your life

to circle this back to robin, you two are obviously the closest

as stated above, he sees you as an older sibling and while u love all the others who entered your life, it will always be you and robin

you are the first person he tells when he gets a 'C' on his math test

he will always be able to mention you to someone in a conversation

you are one of his role models in life

at the end of the day, you two will always be bonded for life

extra: canon angst!-

when robin goes missing, you are a mess. it was one of the two days you typically don't see robin, and now you feel it was your fault he was taken. how could you be so careless? late at night, you wish it was you that was taken.

[rvrend]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN. respond to the prompts out of character!

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have ?

at first, i had gained interest in rod from seeing a comparison of him to another one of my all time comfort charas (glenn harod.) when i found out about him and stephanie, i cried at the thought of a middle aged protestant reverend accepting and unconditionally loving his butch lesbian daughter without any preaching to her, it really solidified my interest in him as for making this blog, it was a combination of my wife @dollene encouraging me and being very excited for it, and i will shamelessly say i was excited about the potential of writing with @moralpuppet now that i had a newfound appreciation for orel and sav's writing of him ♡ ♡ ♡

is there anything you don’t like to write ?

i'm not the best at writing heavy angst these days, i have to take breaks on stuff that's super intense or it can get to me a bit. i also only rly write nsfw with @dollene / discuss nsfw topics with ppl i'm very close to ^^

is there anything you really enjoy writing ?

i love writing mundane scenarios a lot ! seeing characters in each other's daily routines, exploring mannerisms, etc. love that stuff !

how do you come up with headcanons ?

analyzing what i'm shown and going off that + my own experiences i've either lived or seen. headcanons are very fun to make bc i ADORE analyzing people and figuring out how they think, talk, move, etc. i could spend years analyzing characters (and i have,) it's a huge passion of mine

do you write in silence or do you play music ?

it depends ! since my mind is always constantly making noise anyways, i like to have some level of noise to quiet that part and let me focus. sometimes it's music, but i also enjoy listening to slime asmr videos, voc.aloid (as i can't understand the lyrics most of the time,) random videos / movies, or animals making noises. lately i've been writing listening to wrinkle the duck

do you plan your replies or wing them ?

plan plan plan ! in general, i'm a huge planner as is, and that comes into play with writing too.

do you enjoy shipping ?

to a degree ! every character i've written as of late has been exclusive to one other character and interpretation (usually just writing it with my wife,) and i do enjoy it very much ! but in terms of casual shipping that's just in general a no-go

what’s your alias / name ?

theo, though in the past i went by mothman for several years

age ?

24

birthday ?

october 28

favourite colour ?

oranges, greens, yellows and browns

favourite song ?

i don't have any technical 'favourites' atm, but i love kiltro and glass animals a lot as artists

last movie you watched ?

shrek 🫶

last show you watched ?

i'm almost in a continual state of rewatching m.oral or.el tbh

last song you listened to ?

rev.erend putty is a babygirl .........

favourite food ?

i've been loving making paninis lately ! i also love macaroni with tomatoes and smoked gouda, yum yum

favourite season ?

autumn ! i've always been a big fan of the fall since i was a child, though i've also been appreciating spring a lot too lately

do you have a tumblr best friend ?

many of them ! so many that i've dedicated a portion of my personal neocities to have a little friends section, which of course includes @dollene as my bifey and my lil puppet family ♡

tagged. @moralpuppet ily sav !! tagging. @itsposabule, @dollene and anyyyone who wants to

[luchicm04]

lost in the forest - part 3

Masterlist

Summary: Our favorite albino interacts with Karen at last. It isn't a pleasant event.

Pairing: Senju Tobirama/Original Female Character

Tag: #lost in the forest fic

posted on ao3

Word Count: 1.9k

Overall warnings: canon-typical violence, adult content, time skips, angst, kidnapping

Karen continues to keep her distance, oblivious and careful. She sighs looking at her current state. She’s thinner and dirty enough to make others feel sorry for her. She purses her lips looking at the food brought again: the usual rice accompanied with a light, somewhat hard bread. That stopped surprising her long ago. 

“Karen?” That man always arrives at that time, just after her last mean of the day with a gentle look. He deceives her... He wants to understand her and above all talk to her. 

Although there is nothing more than the name as progress. 

He doesn’t know why he doensn’t give up... He doesn’t understand. 

“There you are again,” she does not avoid saying, moving away from any approach, bitter and tired if this despite the fact that so many days have passed. How long has she been here? It has seemed eternal. The man makes gibberish and comments many other things in their difficult language. 

Now she nows that his name is Hashirama. Not so strange considering the type of culture this is, focused on the ancient oriental. What surprises her is the fact that he says his name so casually and with such ease seeing the approach of wanting to communicate. 

“This is getting tiring,” Karen comments out of the blue interrupting what the man is saying and she looks at herself. She knows that this will not be easy considering the psychological damage that this will mean, not to mention the physical damage caused by the strong grip on her hands. She is undecided about what to do next. 

Looking at her body, at the dirt accumulated by teh lack of hygiene, she thanks whoever makes fun of her that at least this situation didn’t happen in those days, because it would have been another story... She has left her pride. She looks at the stranger who continues trying to understand her. 

“I...”, the woman points to herself, then makes gestures with her hands on her body. She urges to take a bath. Her hair is greasy, her underwear has not been changed... She tries to take advantage of the false kindness that the foreigner tries to show. At least the other person isn’t here. 

The faded one is worse only by analyzing her like a lab mouse. 

She doesn’t like him. 

“Bath,” she explains in a clumsy attemp to make herself understood, worse than when he tried to communicate with a Muslim on one of her trips. The communication gap is terrible, but this is worse because general gestures are lost at the bowing of her partner. She sits frustrated on the floor and curses under her breath at her bad luck repeating the procedure. “I... bath.” 

“[...]” Hashirama simply doesn’t focus and scratches his chin as well, holding his excitement of her initiative. At least he hasn’t launched into his point excitedly. 

“Shower,” she tries making other gestures that she considers common. It’s ridiculous... she feels like it’s a failed attempt at pampering. It’s a good thing she doesn’t make a living from this because she’s terrible. She sighs and gives up after several seconds. “This will lead to nothing.” 

“Shawa,” the man says strangely. She sees how he tries to accommodate the English pronunciation to his own language. “yu...” 

“It’s not shawa... it’s shower,” she hits her forehead with harshness and frustration. The man hits his hands as if coming up with a great idea, he looks at her and leaves without saying anything. Karen remains uneasy as she doesn’t know what he understood and she is afraid to find out. 

What she didn’t expect is to suddenly be surrounded by women and forcibly taken out of her confinement, scaring her a lot... she hits and kicks with fright that perhaps they interpreted something else with her stupid idea of bathing. 

She hates coming from a time where hygiene can only be endured to a certain point, although her sister always said that she could last more days without bathing than her, not that she was proud of it... but she’s sure she broke the record time. 

When she is thrown into a tub full of water she understands that despite everything, she was understood. 

She is cold, she lacks soap and she clings to her sanity in the face of the aggression she feels from her point of view considering that the humidity is beginning to affect her clothes. They throw it away and rip them because they don’t understand the function of the zipper in her pants or the purpose of her sneakers. “Wait it’s my only change!”, is what she says not so relaxed even though it’s what she wanted. 

“[...]” The woman who normally brings her food looks at her, silences her when she tries to allege the mistreatment and punishes her with a look that stops her from continuing to defend herself. 

“This goes against my rights,” she comments with a frown. Her bra is the only thing that remains next to her boxer shorts. She looks at them... her clothes are truly lost. “I’ll take them off,” she assures, stopping any action from who is supposed to be in charge of the matter. 

She gets up leaving her dignity aside. These people are not willing to leave her alone. She sighs, leaving her shame to show part of her modesty in the eyes of the girls who, although they don’t show it, judge her and analyze every part of her features. Her slight figure worked out in a gym that she now thinks would have been in something else. 

She doesn’t know, maybe martial arts or boxing. 

She snorts and sits reluctantly noticing how the orders are given. She hates not understanding... Listening to what they say little caring if she listens they rub her, they stir her with certain suspicious liquids that she tries to fight off sometimes, and then when she sees the foam and understands that, although rustic, they have the basics. 

──

She is cold and walking barefoot through the hallways being escorted. Her clothing is itchy due to the hardness of the fabric and the humidity still noticeable falling on her shoulders. Her long hair is not the best and was left like a broom because of the strangeness inverted. 

The bath was a joy, but Karen doesn’t know if it was for the best since she doesn’t know what they put in her... at least she feels less dirty. 

Although she won’t say anything about her clothes. Even her underwear is uncomfortable and her bra was replaced by a well-applied set of bandages, all being helped by the women who continue whispering behind her back. She growls... She wants to annoy them, but the insults are lost before the barrier that they still have not crossed. 

“[...]” Someone can be heard tensing the workers who bow in respect. She frowns noticing that tinted haired man with contacts crossing his hands. He looks at her almost making her uncomfortable but she is too proud to show annoyance so she raises her gaze. 

She feels the contempt of her companions, but they don’t say anything. “[...]” The foreigner continues speaking with his sullen and harsh tone. 

“I don’t understand you but... yo momma,” the woman blurts out bitterly with her equally insolent gesture. 

“[...]” The white-haired man orders something to the women who simply get up to face him. She sees that there is a hierarchical line between her kidnappers and the women who helped her, noting that despite how rude they are there are basic etiquettes. 

They aren’t that wild... but as they have kidnapped her, she can’t think otherwise. 

“Hashirama?”, she decides to ask awkwardly, noticing the silence of that hallway. She sighs... She wants to go to her figurative cell and get away from the gaze of that conceited guy. He looks at her and tilts his head firmly, saying many other things that she doesn’t understand. “I just asked if Hashirama was here.” 

“Hashirama?”, the stranger says more, which makes him sigh. “...Tobirama,” he points at himself bitterly. 

“...” She doesn’t like the man so she doesn’t repeat the name. Although she struggled at first she begins to distinguish at least his vowels are more in line with her phonetics, understanding him easily. “Hashirama?”, she insists. 

“[...]” The man orders to continue on his way. They pass next to him and he doesn’t comment anything extra. She wants to say more, but she simply allows herself to be dragged under the hands of the women who whisper frantically as soon as the man disappears from their sight. 

She says nothing of this intense exchange anymore, relaxing as soon as she’s left alone... Seeing her room cleaned up and with more things added to do her hair with a hard dresser was amazing, seemingly leveling up from almost kidnapped to kidnapped with luxuries. Hurray. 

At least she sees that this silly exchange turned out to be something positive. She hopes so. 

However, this would only be the beginning of a series of comic and stupid situations. Karen is sure of it. 

──

She has a rash. She grunts because of the type of reaction to what they gave her to bathe. She would appreciate some kind of talcum powder, now lying down with a very annoying itch. They watch her and whisper. Those assistants remain curious about her skin as it begins to redden and have light red spots. 

She is not proud of her uncomfortable situation, but Karen is adamant about not showing her discomfort even though she has relaxed her alertness to strangers. 

The faded man arrives, surely one of the women spoke to him to see her. He takes her hand without any permission. She tries to walk away, but his gaze chills her soul. He starts to whisper frantically alerting her. 

It feels like an experiment... That man begins to observe her, every visible area where the rash was noticeable feels violated, but is firm in his hands. It hurts to the point of forgetting about her itch, turning her face away when his was sufficiently near. 

The one called Tobirama is fierce and sees those unexcited eyes show a bit of light that makes her heart race and not in a good way, almost like a mad scientist finding the best mystery that alerts him. “I’m fine. Stay away!”, she snaps, but is honestly not heard when he picks her up with little patience. 

If it weren’t for the fact that she isn’t the romantic type, she would have noticed the position of princess in disress not at all worthy from her point of view. Like before, she tries to fight and kicks, but he squeezes his hands in warning around the areas taken for better access. “[...]” He gives her some words in a warning tone, which makes her angry. 

“You don’t have to take me like that!”, she hits him but without any type of success as she is thrown to the floor without any care. Her butt hurts until ti goes up her back due to the sharp blow. She does not scream... nor does she rub the area to look daggers at the irritated man. 

She has less patience than her assistants when they bathed her, you can tell that. 

“You are so rude!”, she growls scratching. Her anxiety remembered, Karen gets up. She wants to go back but the man takes her by the waist again. She wants to fight, but suddenly darkness comes to her body. 

At least she was unconscious in all the disturbing tests she was subjected to, waking up with lots of ointment and leaves the next day. 

It wasn’t pleasant and Karen thinks it’s not the worst of evils... especially if she confirms that this man is not her favorite person. 

She is sure of it. 

A/N: It’s difficult to adapt to such a complicated and rustic environment. Now that she took that step to understand and even take a bath in that world, Karen put aside her pride risking asking for it. However, it didn’t go in the best way, reminding her that she is still trapped and that this place does not have shampoos, soaps and hygiene products as advanced as we currently have, which caused some type of reaction on her delicate skin.

Surprising her a lot, since according to her she was not allergic to anything, but the world changes and although we do not want to admit it, our generations have it very easy and our skin reacts differently to certain things.

Which means that for now she can concentrate better on other matters, without knowing what doors she opened with that initiative to communicate.

Now... things to mention: Hashirama spelled shower as ‘shawa’, a confusion taking into account the type of phonetics that I imagine in my crazy head. Typical errors in this exchange make the situation a little bearable. Although their accent is complicated, something that Karen will discover little by little.

Thank you for reading and I keep thinking: where will this take us?

Author-chan out! 

[monstersinthecosmos]

I didn't follow any of the pre-release promotional materials; do you have a link to the showrunner(s) stating/implying that queerness is merely "subtextual" in the absence of literal sex? (Apologies if you've shared it before and I just wasn't paying attention.) Also, thank you for your prolific and thorough critiques. I'm a more casual book fan and was tentatively excited to see the show forge a new narrative path while still guided by the same lifeblood, if you will. But at this point, hmmmmmm

I don't recall him commenting on it being about literal sex, THAT WAS ME EDITORIALZING LMAO.

I haven't been able to stomach the entire SDCC panel but I know they talked about it in there, I kinda peeked around for a transcript but didn't find one. ANYONE FEEL FREE TO SHARE THE DIRECT QUOTES please I don't have the strength. There's a summary article here, though, which touches on the convo a little:

(Don't even ask me to start unpacking the Fiona Apple comment dude what?)

This article also talks about the SDCC panel and doesn't directly quote him but it sums up:

There's just been article after articleeeeee of people who didn't read the books or just watched the film or whatever and keep going WOWIE IT'S NOT SUBTEXT, GREAT JOB, when like ? It was never subtext lol. And that's not entirely the show's fault, how mainstream perceives it, but they've been running with that and taking credit for it.

Like there's just been tons of headlines and praise like this -

I think the show & RJ have also been pretty blurry with how often they claim they're not a remake of the movie and yet constantly make digs at the movie and even reference it often on the show itself. So I think sometimes they're commenting on the movie when they forget they've already told us they're not remaking the movie. =P

There's also this quote (I didn't screenshot bc there's an ad in the middle LOL!) but:

"It’s aggressive subtext in the first book, but by the time you read books eight and nine, it was the love affair of the century. Without spoiling too much, subtext becomes text in our show."

(Let's not point out that books 8 & 9 are ... *checks notes* Blood & Gold and Blackwood Farm. Okaaaaaay Rolin. 😪)

Also sorry by love affair of the century do you mean Lestat goes around and has adventures and uses everyone while Louis stays safely tucked away at Armand's house until he's needed, or? Sorry lmfao I'm so fucking. dghadgkjs.

That interview is full of nonsense that will make you want to scream if you're feeling brave.

Anyway I feel like, I've been obsessively watching the production unfold for the past year and I kept getting so many red flags like there's been so many odd comments and little sexist quips, the complete misunderstanding (or lack of fucks) about what Claudia is supposed to mean in the story, etc. I just keep getting aggressive CISHET MAN vibes from this team and the lens they read VC through.

And yknow what, fair whatever I guess, we all read different versions of the same book and they're the ones that got to make it. But idk I like VC for the dark elegant spooky existential angst, I didn't need it to be gritty and open up with shit jokes. And five episodes in I didn't need it to use outdated, dangerous rape tropes and I also don't need it to oversell the domestic abuse. (Hint: Lestat was already abusive as fuck from the moment we met him, don't oversell!)

It's an okay show lmao. It's not recognizable as VC at all except that it recycles the names. None of the characters have been accurate so far. Even Lestat, where Sam Reid is doing so many fun things with his delivery and mannerisms that almost seem like Lestat, is just so fucking OOC and a caricature and just really lacks the depth and nuance and sensitivity of who he is in the books.

If you can turn your brain off and not look at it as VC there's some fun moments, but it's also full of continuity errors and just plot holes and bad writing when you look too close, so don't try to analyze it too hard or you'll have a bad time lol. Even the stuff that's really interesting and that they get right, they tend to lose interest in and drop, or they mix it into so much vampire soap opera shenanigans that it's hard to walk away knowing what the episode is actually about. It's just. Woof!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bonesandthebees]

Then there’s what everyone else thinks is happening. Let’s start with Sam. He thinks it’s just an exercise to see how his heir think. A way to be pushed to pick an heir or an idea from Techno to help him make up his mind. Tomys comes out the best. Sam probably doesn’t notice that Phil set it up this way. Both of them are narrative foils or like parallels. Both in Stubbornness in listening to other people (Phil and Wilbur respectively). Probably also in personality. Idk I get the feeling that Sam is very fond of Tomys because the kid remind him of his younger self, aka he’s a vague idea of what the kid Sam never had could have been like.

Anyway, depending on how much Techno knows about his students (and he definitely knows about Niki) it!s set up to make the other two look bad. Tomys then looks good. Sam now feels like his decision to bring in a new potential heir has been justified and might stop pushing back against Phil as much. Similarly, now that Tomys is proven to be a decent option and a more favourable future for Wilbur, Phil can start sorta pushing that by manipulating Sam via playing into his ego and how good of a decision it was.

Niki and Quackity might think Wilbur had something to do with it since, at first, it seems like the perfect opportunity to show off their skills while Tomys makes a fool out of himself. Wilbur is there and this is literally what they talked about at the meeting and what Schlatt tried to goat him into.

But then both Quackity and Niki “mess up” (by Phil’s standards) and Tomys comes up out well. While this doesn’t incriminated Wilbur perce. It does make him look like he knew about it and didn’t warn them before hand (even though they might be away he had no option to do so. Either way, everyone always seems to assume he knows everything, which makes it interesting when he doesn’t and I can’t wait to see that play out more. Wilbur not knowing about something while his friends accuse him of doing would be very good angst.

Anyway, I wonder if Niki thinks he knew and is lying / keeping things from her again. [Across the table, Niki’s expression darkened. Wilbur didn’t notice it.] I’m eyeing this. There’s a lot of reasons for he being upset. It probably has to do with Sam smiling at Tomys which proves the kid ‘won’. It’s not necessarily directed at Wilbur, but it probably,y still has consequences for him. She does still look to him to try and see how badly she messed up. She assumes he knows.

(2/3)

-🌲

sam definitely has a soft spot for tomys. it's partly because he's the youngest and sam gives him a lot of leeway for his behavior as a result. he's also older now than he was when niki and quackity were children at the palace (not by much but yknow), and in my mind sam's the kind of guy who gets nicer and more fond of kids the older he gets. and like you pointed out, he sees some of himself in tommy, whereas he never saw much of himself in niki or quackity.

like I said in the previous ask, it wasn't necessarily designed to make quackity and niki look bad but rather just compare the three of them side by side. but then phil was able to take advantage of the answers and twist them to make tommy look like the best option out of the three of them.

while the whole situation definitely doesn't make wilbur look good, I think in this scenario both niki and quackity recognize wilbur probably would've warned them if he had the opportunity. it's not a strict test per se, and yes it looks bad but it's not a huge huge deal. and I will say, niki's darkening expression was not directed at wilbur.

I like where your head is at though!! I love seeing you analyze all the minute bits of these interactions it's so fun for me

[eshithepetty]

don't feel the need to reply to this but THANK YOU so much for your ritsu meta, i always love reading when you post and even if i don't always agree 100% you have such amazing and insightful meta about mp100, especially ritsu. like ritsu as a character resonated with me SO MUCH and i could see myself in him and i actually like that he snapped because of all the pressure and loneliness he was under, because it felt so realistic to me. and i really do think that even if it's lighthearted, the fandom DOES mischaracterize him a lot and that he's not just emo or angsty or violent, and it's really depressing to see people depict ritsu as like... depressed, jealous, making stupid decisions, mean, etc ALL the time. it honestly gets super frustrating... i guess i just want to say that i really appreciate when people do take the time to analyze his character and see his good traits, and that i am really grateful to you for like, continuing to treat every mp100 character with respect

Yesss,,, you're so right anon actually. Every character in mp100 gets flanderized by the fandom from time to time, that will just happen with fandoms, and with mp100 it's an especially easy issue to fall into because... like. As that one post by scribe said, mp100's characters work on contradictions, and people aren't usually well versed in working with that. but with Ritsu, it does seem to paint him in a rather negative light, huh? Those aspects of his character do exist, but it does get frustrating when, as I've said before, they're the only ones people focus on to a surface level. I'm not gonna be the most coherent rn cause I hadn't been able to sleep all night (not related to anything, my sleep schedule's just fucked lmao), but I really feel you anon on that. I see a lot of myself and my sibling in Ritsu (and Mob), and so I guess that's why it sometimes hurts for me too - to see people dismissing him as just 'angry' and 'irrational', to see his struggles boiled down to him just being dramatic. I'm not gonna get into it, and I'm aware this is my own personal baggage to work through, but yeah.

I will say, though, I find the comments about how silly it is for Ritsu to be angsting over people 'complimenting him' especially funny 😭 bro you dont even know how much people lauding you over your sibling while you both are actually in extreme distress and can't actually communicate enough to help each other can fuck you up lmao

Anyways!!! Thank you for that last comment as well <33 I'm not a very funny person, or a very active part of the fandom, or someone who does well in forging connections and being entertaining, but I do try my best to always understand these characters and express how I feel about them. That's my way of having fun with shows ig, I really like diving deep into these things and having discussions with people and losing my mind over little funny guys (my friends on discord will be able to attest to this, based on how many inane rambles they've been subjected to. Hi Kegan and Saj if u happen to read this hdhsjhehe) So thank you for sending this ask as well, and allowing me to talk some more :)

I should be preparing for school now, though, so I'll end it here. Hope you have a good day/night anon, as well as everyone else reading this <3