#the ballad of the sad café

[knockoffcaesar]

Reading southern gothic as a non-american is a wild experience. Like the corn is high, the days are hot, gravy and grits that the servant cooked are splendid, the swamps are deadly and she used her ex-husband's klansman robe to cover the plants in the backyard in winter. Oh and almost everyone is deformed in one way or another (I wonder why).

[wayfarer-diarist]

First of all, love is a joint experience between two persons – but the fact that it is a joint experience does not mean that it is a similar experience to the two people involved. There are the lover and the beloved, but these two come from different countries. Often the beloved is only a stimulus for all the stored-up love which has lain quiet within the lover for a long time hitherto. And somehow every lover knows this. He feels in his soul that his love is a solitary thing. He comes to know a new, strange loneliness and it is this knowledge which makes him suffer. So there is only one thing for the lover to do. He must house his love within himself as best he can; he must create for himself a whole new inward world – a world intense and strange, complete in himself. Let it be added here that this lover about whom we speak need not necessarily be a young man saving for a wedding ring – this lover can be man, woman, child, or indeed any human creature on this earth.

—The The Ballad of the Sad Café (1951) by Carson McCullers

[erstwhile-punk-guerito]

[aromanticannibal]

the book im reading keeps giving me n word jumpscares

[dionyrtal]

"It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that, in a deep secret way, the state of being loved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover, and with the best of reasons. For the lover is forever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any possible relation with the beloved, even if this experience can cause him only pain."

—Carson McCullers, The Ballad of the Sad Café

[noonaishere]

Online/Offline [C.S] - sixty-two | beanie babies

...But you can be, you thought as you looked at your phone sadly. 

You didn’t want him to go away for a week. Yeah, the café was going to be a mess with one person that had prior experience but has been there less than a year and one person who was just trained… and Wooyoung. But you had a selfish reason: you were going to miss him while you were streaming. Yeah, so, fine… you had gotten used to having him around, and now that he wouldn’t be, you were a little upset about it. Fine. Fine! You were an adult, you could admit that.

…Not to him. But you could at least admit that to yourself. In your own head. Where no one else could hear you.

You forced yourself to finish working on the video edit for your client. They had really pulled a random move, because it was a mashup of a few ballads by a singer named Choi Jongho. All the songs they picked were heartbreaking, and you had put it off for two days just because you couldn’t stomach some of the lyrics. You never really found yourself to be one of those people who listened to sad songs and thought ‘this is about me’ and cried by themselves as they held onto the record sleeve, but given the current situation…

You slapped your cheeks to snap yourself out of it. You had to finish it. It wouldn’t be over until the video was done and sent. You put on some loud Nightcore that Bracken sent you a few days ago and listened to that in between the parts where you had to actually check that the audio matched up with the video. You were going to crumble and start crying if you listened to the words too closely, and you didn’t want to do that to yourself.

Thirty minutes later, you were finally finished, and sent it to your client.

Hi Nero,

Here’s the new video for your channel. I noticed you switched up your mashup style for this one. It was new and I really liked it. I hope you like what I did with the video.

--JGG

You didn’t know what else to write. It wasn’t a lie, you did like it, it just made you want to bawl your eyes out.

You didn’t want San to go away because you were going to miss him. You could admit you were selfish. The less selfish reason was… what if the stalker came in while he and Seonghwa were gone? You couldn’t very well ask one or both to stay if they couldn’t be there. Could you ask them to close the café? But think about all the revenue they might lose, and the customers who would switch to a different one for the week when they saw it was closed, and then never come back.

You were… you weren't sure if you were mad? You were pouty. You pouted. You didn’t want him to go.

Your phone buzzed.

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@rachs-words • @stayatinykatsy •

[seven-meds]

Thinking about love and loneliness. The most poignant and relatable description of loving and being loved that I’ve ever read is this passage from The Ballad of the Sad Café by Carson McCullers. I return to it very often:

First of all, love is a joint experience between two persons - but the fact that it is a joint experience does not mean that it is a similar experience to the two people involved. There are the lover and the beloved, but these two come from different countries. Often the beloved is only a stimulus for all the stored-up love which has lain quietly within the lover for a long time hitherto. And somehow every lover knows this. He feels in his soul that his love is a solitary thing. He comes to know a new strange loneliness and it is this knowledge which makes him suffer. So there is only one thing for the lover to do. He must house his love within himself as best he can; he must create for himself a whole new inward world - a world intense and strange, complete in himself. Let it be added here that this lover of whom we speak need not necessarily be a young man saving for a wedding ring - this lover can be a man, woman, child, or indeed any human creature on this earth. Now, the beloved can also be of any description. The most outlandish people can be the stimulus for love. A man may be a doddering great-grandfather and still love only a strange girl he saw in the streets of Cheehaw one afternoon two decades past. The preacher may love a fallen woman. The beloved may be treacherous, greasy-headed, and given to evil habits. Yes, and the lover may see this as clearly as anyone else - but that does not affect the evolution of his love one whit. A most mediocre person can be the object of a love which is wild, extravagant, and beautiful as the poison lilies of the swamp. A good man may be the stimulus for a love both violent and debased, or a jabbering madman may bring about in the soul of someone a tender and simple idyll. Therefore, the value and quality of any love is determined by the lover himself. It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that, in a deep secret way, the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover, and with the best of reasons. For the lover is forever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any possible relation with the beloved, even if this experience can cause him only pain.

[mysterieuxclairdelune]

First of all, love is a joint experience between two persons — but the fact that it is a joint experience does not mean that it is a similar experience to the two people involved. There are the lover and the beloved, but these two come from different countries. Often the beloved is only a stimulus for all the stored-up love which had lain quiet within the lover for a long time hitherto. And somehow every lover knows this. He feels in his soul that his love is a solitary thing. He comes to know a new, strange loneliness and it is this knowledge which makes him suffer. So there is only one thing for the lover to do. He must house his love within himself as best he can; he must create for himself a whole new inward world — a world intense and strange, complete in himself. Let it be added here that this lover about whom we speak need not necessarily be a young man saving for a wedding ring — this lover can be man, woman, child, or indeed any human creature on this earth.

Now, the beloved can also be of any description. The most outlandish people can be the stimulus for love. A man may be a doddering great-grandfather and still love only a strange girl he saw in the streets of Cheehaw one afternoon two decades past. The preacher may love a fallen woman. The beloved may be treacherous, greasy-headed, and given to evil habits. Yes, and the lover may see this as clearly as anyone else — but that does not affect the evolution of his love one whit. A most mediocre person can be the object of a love which is wild, extravagant, and beautiful as the poison lilies of the swamp. A good man may be the stimulus for a love both violent and debased, or a jabbering madman may bring about in the soul of someone a tender and simple idyll. Therefore, the value and quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself.

It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that, in a deep secret way, the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover, and with the best of reasons. For the lover is forever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any possible relation with the beloved, even if this experience can cause him only pain.

-Carson Mccullers, The Ballad of the Sad Café and Other Stories

[spiderbeam]

📔 but with anti recs…. like what are your most hated books you’ve read before?

ohhh i like how you think. this is just books i hated because of characters/writing/plot/etc…..there are other books i hated for them just being plain racist and misogynistic, but those are more obvious imo so!!!!! welcome to my hater era:

the inheritance games by jennifer lynn barnes: okay so this is such an unpopular opinion but this book was the BIGGEST let down. it was marketed as being similar to knives out (my favorite movie) and it just kept disappointing?? the best friend was just a plot device so the mc could recap everything and speak about her issues, there were no “puzzles/riddles” only like two at most, i couldn’t stand either of the love interests AND!!! the one thing that sent me was the fact that there was this vaguely latin american character (country unspecified) named alisa who was nicknamed lee lee? my biggests pet peeve when reading books is when latin american characters are portrayed in a stereotypical or just plainly inaccurate way and other than alisa just being a hispanic sounding name (but is not) there is no latina who would go by “lee lee”.

lore olympus by rachel smythe: again i think this is an unpopular opinion but age gaps for me are a big no (especially when you could just as easily avoid them??) AND the fact that the protagonist is always drawn as tiny petite and so intentionally made to look like a child but also simultaneously sexualize her? i love the myth of hades and persephone. there are so many poems that are beautiful (like “persephone the wanderer”) but this one just a huge no for me.

the kiss of deception by mary e. pearson: the fact that the two love interest fall in love at first sight only because they see the mc stand up to some guy at a tavern….. even though one of them is an ASSASSIN sent to KILL HER. either a) they have never seen a woman stand up for herself or b) the two love interests are just shit at their jobs

the ballad of the sad café by carson mccullers: i genuinely don’t remember much about this short story other than i hated it……maybe i just didn’t get it

eve’s 1k celebration 📔

[suzettepepper]

🎵Call me what suits your taste, I just wanna taste and I've always heard it's what's inside that counts. 🎶 (the red means i love you by madds buckley plays automatically when you go on suzy's blog)

LIMA LOSER? OR IS THAT SUZY PEPPER? THEY MIGHT EVEN PASS FOR SOPHIE TURNER IN THE RIGHT LIGHT. THEY'RE TWENTY, BUT STILL STUCK IN LIMA AT MCKINLEY. THEY'VE BEEN CALLED THE SCHOOL CRAZY, BUT PREFER TO BE THE HOPELESS ROMANTIC. WORD ON THE SHOW CHOIR BLOGS ARE THEY'RE IN NEW DIRECTIONS THE TROUBLETONES. MAYBE IF THEY FIX THEIR AESTHETIC AKA FINGERNAILS WITH DIRT UNDER THEM FROM FARDENING, LATE NIGHT STAKEOUTS WITH A LONG RANGE CAMERA, AND MANDATED PAINT THERAPY SESSIONS AFTER A FEW GRIPPY SOCK VACATIONS THEY'LL GET THEIR WAY. WORD ON THE SHOW CHOIR BLOGS ARE THEY'RE IN NEW DIRECTIONS THE TROUBLETONES. SO GOOD LUCK TO THEM!

THE BASICS:

name: suzette aster pepper.

nicknames: suzy, suzie, suzie q, aster, pepper, crazy, swimfan.

pronouns: she/her.

gender: cisfemale.

birthday/zodiac: october 31st, scorpio.

birthplace: lima, oh.

relationship status: single, pining for jacob ben israel after having her heart broken by will schuester.

sexuality: demisexual.

occupation: assistant manager at love meow café.

sports/clubs: art club, book club, ceramics, digital media club, environment club, futures writers of america, gay-straight alliance, mathletes, the muckraker, orchestra (cello), painting club, photography club. swim team and synchronized swim team (co-captain).

major/minor: photography, painting.

languages: english, asl, spanish.

social media handles: suzypepper @ all of them.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:

height: 5'9".

build: slim.

eye color: blue.

hair color: red/copper.

piercings: ears, one each on the lobe.

tattoos: none.

other distinguishing features: i have some freckles on my face and a scar running down the middle of my neck almost to my collar.

style: i don't think it's as much as a "style" as whatever i'm comfortable in and don't mind getting dirty 98% of the time. i also wear glasses 'cause i hate contacts.

PERSONALITY/INTERESTS:

traits: ✓ empathetic, artistic, supportive, loyal, diligent, perseverance, patient. ✗ greedy, jealous, compulsive, manipulative, dependent.

likes: photography, peppers, jacob, music, gardening, the color red.

dislikes: brett bukowski, spicy food, people who don’t listen, being judged, being told no, loud chewers, people who crack their knuckles, people who play loud music/videos in public, being interrupted, slow walkers, having my space invaded.

fears: being alone.

skills: lock picking, i can bring plants back from the brink of death, hacking, photoshop, scrapbooking, can type around 80 wps.

quirks: i clear my throat a lot after the surgery and i tend to play with the ends of my hair a lot.

hobbies: reading, gardening, going on long walks.

music tastes: i love classical and sad ballads, but i actually listen to a lot of different genres and artists that usually surprise people. ♪♫♬

myers-briggs: INTJ-T.

kinsey scale: solid 3.

strengths: i'm a quick thinker and learner.

weaknesses: according to my therapist it's emotionally unavailable men, but i think it's the cold. i'm not a fan.

Trust me. I'm a cautionary tale.

[straightlightyagami]

For the pride ask: 11

this is back from pride month 😅... I have decided I will go into the inbox and slowly try to get to answering some of my asks

11. Favorite (or just one you love) piece of LGBT media?

Death Note (/j but it kind of is to me ).. Unfortunately I do not know enough LGBT media. I thought for a while trying to remember whether I've finished reading any LGBT book and I remembered The Ballad of the Sad Café by Carson McCullers, which I would argue counts. so that.

Thank you for the ask!

[natsuyuki-w]

Serenitea Shop | Genshin Impact 

Genshin x gn!reader

Modern AU

Serenitea shop >

- Good morning~ How are you, honey, and what does Serenitea offer today? * Dramatic pause * Let me tell you, gorgeous as ever. -

You giggled, embarrassed at the usual flirtatious and theatrical approach of the boy, who rested his hand on the counter as soon as he had arrived. With that playboy move, he scrutinized you in an oblique gaze from the height of his stature.

- Mornin' handsome~ Yes, I'm fine, thanks! How about you?

- Now that I've seen you even better, - he replied with a wink, a gesture that intensified your redness. To deflect the attention, you turned on the tablet screen arranged on the counter and illustrated the card - Sooo,... For this Wednesday, Tea Day! - you exclaimed excitedly - We have the usual: Jasmine, Sumeru rose, Darjeeling, Sweet flower, mint, or Jueyun Chili. And today's special is valberry and mint herbal tea. - You listed as fast as a machine and smiled sweetly at Kaeya.

- Perfect ~ I'll have a cold special with ice, thank you, splend...-

- Less - dryly interrupted his brother, who was coming along briskly. Because of the bluish bags, it looked like someone had punched both of his eyes - It's morning. You talk too much, - he concluded, trying to get past the stall.

- Come on, Diluc, cheer up, - you sang, stopping him - It's on me! You need to catch your breath and drink between study sessions. -

He left a long sigh, but at last looked up and handed you the travel cup he kept in his backpack. You poured him the hot herbal tea of the day, and shaking his head, the fiery red-haired boy dismissed your offer, leaving ten times the price of the drink on the counter. - Thank you - he whispered and walked away.

- Heyyyy, how are you my wandering soul? - peeped a cream-colored beret. The boy wearing it, bubbling with energy - I see dear Diluc has already offered,...mmm can I have your special? Cold, thank you! -. You smiled at him and jokingly replied: - Oh, how nice to see you, my dear Bremen musician. Of course, but be sure to thank him for the scrounge! -

- I'll dedicate a ballad to his noble heart, so pure and blue, and my body for him as vessel of love, in honor of feelings that forever grew.-

- Venti,... How are you fairing? - you asked after a minute of silence.

- Sad and needy of affection. - he said leaning both elbows on the counter, supporting his face stretched by a forced smile.

- I see,... - you contemplated, resting your gaze past the boy - How about you tell me about it one of those evenings? Sorry Sucrose, you should have warned me you were waiting, - you said in a sympathetic tone, to the girl who had quizzically approached without uttering a word.

- N-n-no no! No problem, really. I'm not in much of a hurry, and-and Venti didn't seem to be well, so I didn't want to disturb you, - she said in fluster. - You are too kind for your own good. Don't feel sorry for this drama king! He always exaggerates. - - I wouldn't be an idol if I didn't have a little drama in me! - replied the boy, mocking wiping a tear from his cheek.

As pro usual, the handsome Kaeya, stayed till the last minute at the counter enjoying the latest campus gossip and constant teasing to put you under. Time flew by between service and chats, it was time to say goodbye to the Mondstadt students and head back to your apartment.

On the journey, with the wind in your hair, you sighed in contempt and lost in your thoughts, you didn't realize you had already passed two streets ahead of your home. The young and petite apprentice of your café, Diona, screamed your name with that ringing voice. You jerked on the transport almost crashing your face on the asphalt, and after recovering from the scare, you turned around and walked home; it was time to get ready for classes.

[surelevi]

i. the ballad of the sad café - carson mccullers // ii. “why try to change me now?” - frank sinatra // iii. “comin’ back to me″ - jefferson airplane

( charlie barnett, cis man, he/him ) — Look who it is! If you take a look at our database, you’ll find that LEVI ST. JAMES is a THIRTY-FIVE year old VETERINARIAN that’s been in Chicago for TEN YEARS. According to the file, they’re a mutant on LEVEL 3 with the power of LOVE MANIPULATION. That must be why they’re HUMBLE and CRITICAL. If you ask me, they remind me of the curse of pure dedication, a scratched irma thomas record that skips on the same line, the bright moon falling upside down. They are affiliated with NOBODY.

@forwardintros

QUICK FACTS:

full name: levi joshua st. james

date of birth: september 14th, 1987

zodiac big three: virgo sun, cancer moon, virgo rising

gender & pronouns: cis man & he/him

sexual orientation: bisexual

ethnicity: 1/2 black, 1/2 white

nationality: american

languages spoken: english (5), spanish (4), french (4), italian (4)

enneagram: 1w2

mbti: isfj

temperament: phlegmatic

alignment: lawful neutral

ability: love manipulation

affiliation: n/a

alias: aphrodite

BACKSTORY:

triggers: infidelity

the story of levi’s birth is... an unconventional one. the st. james’ were on an amicable break and, allowed to sleep with others, mrs. st. james unknowingly got knocked up.

eight months later, levi is born a bit premature !

however, despite being the child of another man entirely, levi was welcomed into the st. james family when they reunited. he never really considered who his biological father was -- the fact of the matter was that he felt closer to st. james dad than he could feel with any stranger who simply shared his dna.

everyone in the family had one mutation or another, be it as powerful as weather manipulation ( his dad ), as fun as power mimicry ( his mom ), as outlandish as hair manipulation ( kael just sent this to me as an example of how wild powers could be so i’m going with it ). that wasn’t even to begin with his eldest sister, january, and her reality warping. he always deeply respected all of his family -- of course he did, he was raised right ! -- but nothing commanded respect as much as the ability to warp all of time and space.

that said, it was only a matter of time until levi’s came to fruition (lol sorry lai). 

it was minor, the way it started. he simply started becoming more popular, all the kids in his class seeming to either just naturally like him or have a full-blown crush on him. this certainly seemed odd, as it was only weeks ago that he was a wallflower, but... stranger things, right ?

his mother, however, managed to mimic his power: love manipulation. what had happened ? his general presence had become more alluring, more charismatic, and he could do nothing about that !

the powers he could do things with ? honestly, most were a curse in disguise. you’d think ‘love manipulation’ would only have kind things, but when you’re forcing love on people ? suffice it to say, while he and the other were working out he kinks, he got put in time out a few times for making x fall in love with y. ( r/sweethomealabama (jk, but im hilarious) )

with all of the mutants in his family who were able to give him tips and tricks, he was able to control it -- for the most part -- within a year. and, save for empathy ( lower grade than louis, higher grade than the normal empathetic human ) and the occasional inducement of self-love, he only used his ability if need be -- like if it could stop a violent crime or something ! robber falls in love <3 up until the victim can get away, at least :elmosmile:

in 2008, nearly ten years later, levi met blake while studying to become a vet ( because nothing screams love like the love of a pet ! ). he fell head over heels for them and, without even having to use his ability, they fell just as strong for him.

three years in, levi popped the question and they didn’t hesitate to say ‘yes!’

their was a lovely union. blake was to relocate to oak park, il for their job. levi was already behind the move, looking into job offerings nearby. he found the perfect one in chicago, and that ? well, that made him go from content to ecstatic ! not just because it offered a great salary and seemed, quite frankly, desperate, but because his eldest sister lived in chicago !

the two packed up and relocated and, a few months in, when they felt all settled in and at home, they decided to begin trying for a baby.

a year and a half later, charlotte was born. a beautiful little girl with a bright spirit -- a little girl who woke her parents up with laughter, not sobbing. she was his pride and joy. and he had never been so happy.

but all good things must come to an end.

perhaps levi grew too comfortable with their routine. he always felt safest boxed inside them, a coping mechanism that must have developed from one stressor or another ( honestly ? the man has to put dogs down... that career has the highest suzy side rate for a reason... ). in any case, he followed the same script every single day. spontaneity had left their relationship -- and he saw no problems with it, but they wanted more.

this led to a few arguments... that turned into a few fights... he was all but married to routine. and it wasn’t long before he found a condom wrapper -- that did not belong to him -- in the trash can.

but, instead of confronting them, he let things play out... he would see if they would come clean... and, three months later, they did -- three months later, blake was saying that they needed to get a divorce. they were unhappy, he wasn’t going to change -- so they would make him unhappy, and they didn’t want their child growing up with parents who were constantly fighting.

if he hadn’t gotten blind drunk later that night, maybe he wouldn’t have done what would ultimately be his biggest regret. but he had gotten blind drunk and, when he returned to their apartment, he cast his love spell on them.

the next day, it was as if they had forgotten entirely. blake was so happy to be with him, he was so happy to be with them. sober-minded ? he wasn’t entirely sure what had happened, but he wasn’t going to question it. and he never grew the spine to bring up blake’s affair.

for the next year and a half, things were bliss. it was like they were in a perpetual honeymoon era. blake loved him so very much, loved charlotte so very much, and they were truly the ideal family unit ! exactly what you would picture the 1950s nuclear family as ( ...but, like... less waspy... ).

however, one day, it was as if the world broke. the family photograph was all wrong... but he didn’t know why. it was warped, but it was not warped. it was blurry, but it was not blurry. it was not there, but it was there. 

absolutely perplexed by this sensation, he broke his own routine to do nothing but stare at this photograph. he didn’t sleep, he didn’t eat. he just stared at the photograph, entering the world’s biggest daze. 

two days in, blake approached him to remind him that their anniversary was coming up... in eight months and seventeen days. and this was more than odd. they loved him, yes, and he loved them... but their life had never revolved around it to the point that they walked up to him, a complete stepford smile on their face, to inform him. and to top it all off, their hand was bleeding. when asked what happened, they shared that bones nipped them -- but it’s okay ! they love him !

“OH SHIT.”

it hit levi like a brick: the past year and a half had been a complete lie. and he was now faced with a moral dilemma: keep his family... but keep blake captive in a spell, or let them go... but lose his family.

it didn’t take as much thought as most of his decisions did -- because he loved them, he had to release them. and he immediately admitted what had happened -- that he had done it blind drunk, had been unaware of what happened, but he had still done it and lived in it and hadn’t questioned it the way he questioned so many things.

he spent the next few nights at a motel and scrounged up the money to get an apartment of his own. they mailed him the divorce papers and, however painful it was, he signed them. 

because he had not done anything to charlotte, he was allowed visits, but blake still gained sole custody. and he knew that that was how it had to be.

he eventually settled into a different routine -- remarkably lonelier, but still something to hold onto. he tries to branch out, he tries to make more friends, he tries to become a healthier version of himself. he swears off his ability, save for his influence ( something he can’t help ), empathy, and the occasional self-love for those who may need it. he will induce love when absolutely necessary again, but he cannot do what he had done ! he cannot slip again !

he knows that he’s lost blake, but there’s still hope for charlotte. if he can just prove himself well enough, he can be a proper father to her again -- and, god, he wants to be that so damn bad !

TIMELINE:

1987: levi is born in the st. james family. although he is not biologically his father’s, he is treated as such by all members of the family filled with powerful mutants.

1997: his ability begins to blossom. when people started flocking to him and finding him charming, it seemed a little strange. what was stranger ? his mother, ability of power mimicry, picked up on his: love manipulation.

1998: through trial and error, levi has gained enough control to not make strangers fall in love. he only uses it when need be ( when it could stop something violent, for example ).

2008: levi meets blake -- aka, the person who will wind up becoming his spouse. they hit it off, no powers needed.

2011: levi proposes and they says yes ! they have a lovely little wedding !

2012: they relocate to chicago, where january is residing, and start trying for a child.

2014: they have a daughter: charlotte. 

2018: things have been... rough in paradise. they’ve been fighting more, a lot of it over his dedication to routine. he finds out that they’d been having an affair. blake figures the best course of action for all involved is divorce. the night they admitted to their affair, he got blind drunk. on a drunken whim ? he cast a love spell upon them. the next day, everything was back to the way it had been... and he wasn’t sure why, but he didn’t want to question it.

2020: everything has been going so well ! they were basically living in a perpetual honeymoon, but with charlotte too !  then he spent days, willingly broken from his routine, staring at this photo in their house that just didn’t look right. he couldn’t pinpoint it, but it didn’t look real. and he became obsessed with it. his spouse, suddenly stepford as he hadn’t talked to them in those past couple days, reminded him of when their anniversary was: eight months and fifteen days! in addition ? their hand was bleeding horribly from a bite bones dished out, but they waved it off and said they loved him. ‘oh shit, we’re under a fucking spell.’ he had a crisis of conscience, suddenly realizing that everything around him was, more or less, fake. he had two options: keep doing this, keep ruling his spouse -- but keep his happy family. or let them go and sacrifice it all. he loved them, so chose the latter. he confessed to what he had done with them already suspicious, what given the sudden shift. they left him that night with charlotte in tow and sent divorce papers in the mail. he hated it, but he signed.

2021: with what had happened, they gained sole custody of charlotte. he was allowed visits, but nothing more.

2022/2023: he’s been trying to get back into the habit of being... a good guy, to say the least. he’s been trying to branch out, trying to make new friends, trying to become healthier so that he may one day be able to have his daughter over for more than a few hours. he knows getting back together with his ex-spouse is hopeless, but seeing his daughter ? not yet... he tries to use his power as little as possible, just as he had when he was a kid. the fact of the matter ? it can do some serious gd damage. he might induce some self-love in others who need it, or induce love in the midst of violent encounters, but... that has to be it, right ?

HEADCANONS:

i want to make it COMPLETELY clear that blake was still fully autonomous until he went two days without giving them attention. the only difference was that they felt like they loved him like they used to. like... their life didn’t revolve around him or anything and i think that is... extremely, extremely, extremely important to note !

also i’m gonna steer clear of talking about what happened with their sex life during that time for right now, but if someone takes blake up, we can talk about it and what would’ve made the most sense but... not have been dubcon... i have ideas, but i just... want to make that clear ALDFHSJ

let me also make it COMPLETELY clear that he did not do anything to charlotte !

the kid he got to keep in the divorce ? their great dane, bones. blake had forgiven bones for the bite -- dogs are too smart, it’s very canon that bones knew what was going on and had to find a way to alert them both! -- but... he was levi’s concern now.

levi does not want to be a creep (or a weirdo), but he does hope to establish a decent rapport with blake again. he knows it’ll be a long time coming -- he knows he did more than fuck up ! he was a year and a half of both of their lives ! -- but they’re the co-parent of their child and he really, really, really wants visitations to go smoothly. hell, he really, really, really wants partial custody, if even just one night every other week ! he wants to be a proper dad.

on a less depressing-adjacent note, he still looks up to january -- and not just because of how powerful she is. that said, her power can make him underestimate himself. between her ability to warp all of reality and his father’s ability to affect the whole world by changing the weather, he’s like “look at this cool party trick!” 

of course, he realized just how harmful it can be when he cast it on blake... but it’s still invisible -- it’s still harder for him to mentally equate.

he can be a little bit tone-deaf every now and again. he grew up as a rich boy, so he’s not... totally familiar with... everything he probably should be. but he is always quick to correct himself, my goodness !

coming from a double virgo (granted, sun and moon whereas he’s sun and rising), he is such a double virgo ! he overthinks the smallest things, he has a critique for everything -- and he’s extremely critical on himself, he finds comfort in routine and repetition. but he’s also so caring and gentle, hence his career path.

takes in every stray that comes to the vet and stays for over three weeks with no takers. he now has three cats and three dogs. cats: froot loop, frosted flake, mini wheat. dogs: bones ( the og! ), green bean, zucchini. 

more tbd !

CONNECTION IDEAS:

his ex-spouse / co-parent of his daughter !!! depressing ! first of all, i genuinely couldn’t decide whether to give levi a husband or a wife... so i decided to make them totally gender neutral ! aka, gender will not factor into this connection ! anyway, name is blake, but that can be changed. as the spark left their relationship, they grew unhappy with how he just couldn’t seem to leave the comfort of his routine. they eventually had an affair, he found out -- but he waited for them to confess. the night they did was also the night they proposed a divorce. blind drunk, he made them fall in his love spell while they were asleep. the two spent the following year and a half in loving paradise -- and they probably felt like an npc during this period. when he dropped it upon realizing what he had done, he immediately confessed, and they immediately made him move out and served him divorce papers. they gained sole custody of their daughter, but he’s been allowed visits. he very clearly wants to be more present in their daughter’s life again, so he’s trying to repair things as much as they can be repaired, but he knows that the broken vase of their relationship will never be fixed.

besties ! there throughout the relationship through the divorce. ‘bro wtf is happening’ ‘bro idk’ // ‘bro i put my spouse under a spell oh my god’ ‘bro wtf’ ‘bro idek!!!’

co-workers ! some more vets or vet techs !

family ! i do believe the st. james family has been established as being fairly large, so... hit kael up first FAHODSUILAJS then me !

new people for him to love ! *eye-roll emoji*

use his powers ! wld luv a reason for him to use the big kahunas in his arsenal... will say that...

brainstorming !

[donotdestroy]

The Ballad of the Sad Café (film)

[ifalltopiecessbitch]

Week One: What is Southern Gothic? (PowerPoint presentation)

“Defining Southern Gothic” – Bridget M. Marshall

Week Two: “A Rose for Emily” (1930) – William Faulkner

​ “Dry September” (1931) – William Faulkner

​ “The Brooch” (1936) – William Faulkner

Week Three: “Good Country People” (1955) – Flannery O’Connor

“A Late Encounter with the Enemy” (1955) – Flannery O’Connor

“A Tree, A Rock, A Cloud” (1943) – Carson McCullers

“The Haunted Boy” (1955) – Carson McCullers

Week Four: The Ballad of the Sad Café (1951) – Carson McCullers

​

Week Five: The Member of the Wedding (1946) – Carson McCullers

Week Six: Film Discussion: Reflections in a Golden Eye (1967, based on the 1941 novel)

​

Week Seven: Exam I: Weeks 1–6

Week Eight: No class (Ramazan Bayramı)

Week Nine: Suddenly Last Summer (1958) – Tennessee Williams

“Sexuality, Insanity, and the Old South” – Tanfer Emin Tunc

Week Ten: Film Discussion: Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958) – Tennessee Williams

Sweet Bird of Youth (1959) – Tennessee Williams

Week Eleven: Sweet Bird of Youth (Continued)

Week Twelve: Exam II: Weeks 9–11

Week Thirteen: The Neon Bible (1954/1989) – John Kennedy Toole

Week Fourteen: “A Worn Path” (1941) – Eudora Welty