#the beauty standard changes so much

[tasteless-vermin]

i don’t think people realize that even if you claim to be size-positive you are still saying harmful things.

you can “you’re fat and thats beautiful” all day everyday but if you follow that up with “don’t wear this it makes you look boxy” or “that has no shape add a belt” maybe you need to step away from the conversation.

i hate to tell you but some people are boxy. some people have “unattractive” body types and you need to learn to be Normal about it.

people can wear clothes that make them look “boxy” or “frumpy” and that’s fine! as long as the clothes make them happy it’s fine! you need to find it in your heart to stop caring.

judging people on body shape rather than size is still bad and i’m not sure what it’ll take to explain that.

this isn’t all to say that you/someone shouldn’t have clothes that fit well. don’t put words in my mouth. every living soul on earth deserves clothes that are good quality and fit how they want it to.

this is genuinely just about people claiming to be body positive (or god forbid body-progressive or something else more radical) that Still choose to make comments about a person’s figure without considering where those thoughts are coming from.

[myfairkatiecat]

So I was thinking about the whole elves-being-naturally-prettier-than-humans thing because that was always sort of weird to me when I FINALLY think I figured it out.

Humans used to know about the elves, and there are some things they still remember—hence myths about Atlantis and such. Reality is, humans and elves resembled each other in a lot of ways, but elves put themselves on a pedestal as better than every other species (that’s, like, canon, and better be addressed more fully at some point?) and that’s probably a part of the reasons humans “betrayed” the elves—they got sick of hearing that elves were better.

But it was just sort of implanted in their minds, though they weren’t fans of the idea, and elves didn’t go to great lengths to erase that idea from their minds. So humans remember myths and some things about elves, and Atlantis being the underwater city………and beauty standards.

It’s not that elves are naturally prettier than humans. It’s that human beauty standards are shaped around the natural looks of elves.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk

[worstloki]

thor: i was confused before i realized that i'm bisexual but now everything makes so much sense

thor: like now i understand why i start sweating whenever loki takes off his shirt

thor: i was starting to think i might be allergic to jotun

[that-was-anticlimactic]

the lack of respect for the httyd books pisses me off ugh

[niishi]

Sensory issues that make me not want my hair to touch my neck/ears

vs.

chronic migraine disorder that can be triggered by wearing my hair up for too long or wearing anything on my head at all

vs.

ppl telling me they like me more with long hair&making me feel insecure about having short hair

[betagrove]

To be clear when I started playing Bayonetta 2 for the first time I was majorly put off in the first cutscene because the face model on Cereza looked like just a completely different woman to me. It is that serious to me forever

[the-busy-ghost]

The utter fury of reading about a character in a Victorian novel who is frankly described as ‘ugly’ and googling them only to find out that absolutely every tv adaptation portrays them as ‘brown haired but otherwise conventionally attractive to the 21st century’

[marshmallowprotection]

Okay so - Kait, please forgive me for this extremely cringe and just...'ugh, really? 🙄' request. ;;

...would Ray like a...let's say, who does very much not fit in to what's conventionally 'pretty'...?

I've always been a tomboy, through and through.

I've never even touched makeup, my skin isn't...great, and I've never worn a dress or skirt in my life.

...what would Ray think of that?! He certainly seems to like more...feminine girls.

...aaah ;;;

Ray, please like me! 😭😭😭

Hey, Anon.

Let's make one thing abundantly clear so you don't have to feel any self-doubt, Ray loves you no matter what. It doesn't matter what aesthetic you prefer to align yourself with when you choose what you like to wear or how you like to use style.

As long as you are the object of his affection, that's the only thing that matters to him. You mean the world to him because you are the person that you are. He is obsessed with you and only you. That means that it doesn't matter what you dress like, what you look like, or anything of that nature. You are already his idealized fantasy. 

You don't have to change anything about yourself nor do you have to fill a role to be the person he loves. He already wants you as you are so there's nothing you need to change or feel insecure about when it comes to your appearance, personality, or what have you. 

You don't need to change anything about yourself because he is already infatuated with the idea of you. 

He's been dreaming of the day that you could come into his life so he would finally know what it felt like the field desired by the object of his affection. You are the very reason he's been able to survive in hell for so long. He has been living in what is basically a stewing pit of Hell for God knows how long and the only thing that's helped him get through this suffering is the thought of knowing that one day you would be able to join him.

Then, it would no longer feel as though he's suffering because he would finally have the reward at the end of the line. Ray would be able to experience happiness at the Eternal party because you would be there with him and it would all be worth it. That's his goal.

The only thing you need to think about is how to convince him that you do like him as much as he likes you. However, I can see where you came to the conclusion that he might not be as obsessed with you as he might be with someone who loves to dress up!

Many of the people who like him in the fandom are people who love to play into his theatrics and love of fairy tales. Not everyone, but a decent chunk of people love the idea of being able to dress up and play the role of a princess or prince for Ray.

The reason why a lot of people play into this is that everybody understands that what Ray wants more than anything is to be able to live inside a fairytale where he is the prince that gets to whisk you away to happily ever after. You don't have to fit the conventional role of his love interest in that story aesthetically or whatever you think you need to fit to be his object of affection. This is more about him being able to fill the role that he wants more than anything.

This is about him being able to be your prince. It's honestly less about you being the princess/prince for him.

Don't get it twisted and don't feel insecure about yourself because you don't feel like you fit into a role that is staunchly more quote-un-quote, “feminine”, than you are comfortable with. You don't need to wear dresses or skirts, you don't need to have "flawless" skin, and you don't need to be something that you aren't.

What I mean by that is that you don't need to force yourself to be somebody else to be loved by somebody. If you are a lot more comfortable not bothering with makeup or frilly clothes, that’s fine! You don't have to be interested in those things nor do you need to use them to make him like you. He already likes you.

In fact, if you are trying to be something you aren't so you can feel affection from another person? That person isn't worthy of your time or care in the first place. The person who is the object of your affection should be somebody that loves you back without hesitation or contempt for things that make you— you. The person you're with should love you for who you are, not what you can be for them by erasing yourself. 

So, no, you don't need to be whatever you think you need to be to fit Ray’s “fantasy”. You don't need to be a princess or a prince to be the person he adores. All you need to do is be yourself. It doesn't matter who you are or how you appear, if you are his MC, then you are the most wonderful person he's ever seen in his life. Male, female, non-binary, or however you identify, Ray loves you just as much as you love him. Girly, tomboy, or whatever aesthetic you have, he loves you all the same.

Also, I hope you know that you do not have to be “conventionally attractive.” Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and just because you don't fit some societal standard for what beauty is, doesn't mean that you aren't beautiful.

The idea of what is "beautiful" is constantly changing and it never stays the same. That's why you shouldn't hold yourself to standards because they never stay the same. All you need to focus on is being yourself and as long as you're happy with yourself, you will find somebody that understands you and cherishes you the way you deserve to be. 

Don't just apply this to this circumstance that you feel insecure about yourself when it comes to Ray.

Take that lesson to heart as somebody who has spent a long time unlearning what it means to be beautiful. Societal standards can really beat you down no matter how hard you try to like the person looking back at you in the mirror. Once you realize that the standard that everybody wants you to reach is not obtainable?

That's when you should focus on being yourself and enjoying Who You Are. It can take a long time to learn how to do that and I'm not saying it's the easiest thing you're ever going to challenge in your life. But, what I am saying is once you stop trying to feel like you need to be something you aren't, it feels like a weight leaves your chest and you can breathe.

None of us are ever going to fit what societal standards define as “beautiful.” You have to learn how to see the beauty in who you are. There's no right or wrong way to learn how to do that. Everybody has to take their own path when it comes to realizing that they don't need to try so hard to fit a bubble that isn't for them.

You don't need to change who you are to be loved. 

The people who really matter are going to be the people who love you as you are. 

[freebooter4ever]

.

[heart-democracy]

TDI Advice wanted!

Hi TD fans! I'm planning a rewrite of TDI, the cast will be 18 for in-universe reasons (think legal contracts, I'm not gonna be weird about them). I'm aiming to make it more realistic and in line with the 2007 aesthetic, i.e era appropriate lingo & references, mobile phones are rare, homophobia is a bigger concern etc, but I'm wondering how far I should take it?

In the end I'll write what I enjoy, but should I lean more heavily into the gritty side of reality TV both on and behind the screen, include more notable sexism, potential slurs and creepy behaviours etc? The point is for there to be believable drama in-universe and the topics planned all have some merit to be present. I have some hard lines I'll never cross (see last tags on the post for those curious) and I want people familiar with the themes to feel seen rather than exploited reading it.

At the end of the day the cast are just youngsters getting to know each other and themselves. I want to humanize them and write believable conflicts without demonizing anyone, it is intended as a character driven story after all. But I also want to know what others think would make for an enjoyable read/take on the show.

The cast will inevitably diverge from their canon counterparts, but I am unsure how to handle certain characters, an example being LeShawna. She's clearly based on a racist stereotype, but her personality, background and lingo are a huge part of her appeal and I'd rather portray her in a better light than change her from the ground up. If you have any pointers I can keep in mind for her or anyone else you think is often portrayed poorly in canon or fanon then please let me hear your takes! This goes for non-TDI castmates as well, even if they don't show up in the story I wanna know what people think does and doesn't work for them and their tropes/traits cause it might still be relevant!

[the-heart-of-leo]

Like, if people are a bit weirded out by vampires because of Uncanny Valley (Too smooth skin, too pale, sharp teeth, etc)...

But then wouldn't vampires, at least the older ones, feel the same about humans?

LIke: "Uh, human skin is so weird and pink. And like, pores and shit? LIke, I used to have that! UGH! And they're so warm and wet? Like, wet comes out of everywhere! At least they taste good."

[gifti3]

[sorrytorainnonurparade]

Miss America, 1924

[nthflower]

Wish people stopped to think I am making self hating jokes when I say them I am happy with my ugly big crooked nose or my body hair or my natural thick eye brows etc. I think they are very characteristics and fits me well.

Like yeah I hated them when I was growing up now I don't also think they are aesthetically pleasing but them being ugly is something I like and I am not coping or accepted my fate.

But also I understand it why because like yeah if someone told me same things I will be also thinking they want validation.

Anyways a oversharing about me I like some ugly parts of me being ugly. Some there is ones I don't like too. But it's not a problem

[naivety]

become ungovernable AND unmarketable i will say it one thousand billion times!! become absolutely unpalatable to all aspects of the hell world!!! if you give them an inch they will gobble it up they will eat up every part of you within reach

[cookinguptales]

So I’ve been enjoying the Disney vs. DeSantis memes as much as anyone, but like. I do feel like a lot of people who had normal childhoods are missing some context to all this.

I was raised in the Bible Belt in a fairly fundie environment. My parents were reasonably cool about some things, compared to the rest of my family, but they certainly had their issues. But they did let me watch Disney movies, which turned out to be a point of major contention between them and my other relatives.

See, I think some people think this weird fight between Disney and fundies is new. It is very not new. I know that Disney’s attempts at inclusion in their media have been the source of a lot of mockery, but what a lot of people don’t understand is that as far as actual company policy goes, Disney has actually been an industry leader for queer rights. They’ve had policies assuring equal healthcare and partner benefits for queer employees since the early 90s.

I’m not sure how many people reading this right now remember the early 90s, but that was very much not industry standard. It was a big deal when Disney announced that non-married queer partners would be getting the same benefits as the married heterosexual ones.

Like — it went further than just saying that any unmarried partners would be eligible for spousal benefits. It straight-up said that non-same-sex partners would still need to be married to receive spousal benefits, but because same-sex partners couldn’t do that, proof that they lived together as an established couple would be enough.

In other words, it put long-term same-sex partners on a higher level than opposite-sex partners who just weren’t married yet. It put them on the exact same level as heterosexual married partners.

They weren’t the first company ever to do this, but they were super early. And they were certainly the first mainstream “family-friendly” company to do it.

Conservatives lost their damn minds.

Protests, boycotts, sermons, the whole nine yards. I can’t tell you how many books about the evils of Disney my grandmother tried to get my parents to read when I was a kid.

When we later moved to Florida, I realized just how many queer people work at Disney — because historically speaking, it’s been a company that has guaranteed them safety, non-discrimination, and equal rights. That’s when I became aware of their unofficial “Gay Days” and how Christians would show up from all over the country to protest them every year. Apparently my grandmother had been upset about these days for years, but my parents had just kind of ignored her.

Out of curiosity, I ended up reading one of the books my grandmother kept leaving at our house. And friends — it’s amazing how similar that (terrible, poorly written) rhetoric was to what people are saying these days. Disney hires gay pedophiles who want to abuse your children. Disney is trying to normalize Satanism in our beautiful, Christian America. 

Just tons of conspiracy theories in there that ranged from “a few bad things happened that weren’t actually Disney’s fault, but they did happen” to “Pocahontas is an evil movie, not because it distorts history and misrepresents indigenous life, but because it might teach children respect for nature. Which, as we all know, would cause them all to become Wiccans who believe in climate change.”

Like — please, take it from someone who knows. This weird fight between fundies and Disney is not new. This is not Disney’s first (gay) rodeo. These people have always believed that Disney is full of evil gays who are trying to groom and sexually abuse children.

The main difference now is that these beliefs are becoming mainstream. It’s not just conservative pastors who are talking about this. It’s not just church groups showing up to boycott Gay Day. Disney is starting to (reluctantly) say the quiet part out loud, and so are the Republicans. Disney is publicly supporting queer rights and announcing company-supported queer events and the Republican Party is publicly calling them pedophiles and enacting politically driven revenge.

This is important, because while this fight has always been important in the history of queer rights, it is now being magnified. The precedent that a fight like this could set is staggering. For better or for worse, we live in a corporation-driven country. I don’t like it any more than you do, and I’m not about to defend most of Disney’s business practices. But we do live in a nation where rights are largely tied to corporate approval, and the fact that we might be entering an age where even the most powerful corporations in the country are being banned from speaking out in favor of rights for marginalized people… that’s genuinely scary.

Like… I’ll just ask you this. Where do you think we’d be now, in 2023, if Disney had been prevented from promising its employees equal benefits in 1994? That was almost thirty years ago, and look how far things have come. When I looked up news articles for this post from that era, even then journalists, activists, and fundie church leaders were all talking about how a company of Disney’s prominence throwing their weight behind this movement could lead to the normalization of equal protections in this country.

The idea of it scared and thrilled people in equal parts even then. It still scares and thrills them now.

I keep seeing people say “I need them both to lose!” and I get it, I do. Disney has for sure done a lot of shit over the years. But I am begging you as a queer exvangelical to understand that no. You need Disney to win. You need Disney to wipe the fucking floor with these people.

Right now, this isn’t just a fight between a giant corporation and Ron DeSantis. This is a fight about the right of corporations to support marginalized groups. It’s a fight that ensures that companies like Disney still can offer benefits that a discriminatory government does not provide. It ensures that businesses much smaller than Disney can support activism.

Hell, it ensures that you can support activism.

The fight between weird Christian conspiracy theorists and Disney is not new, because the fight to prevent any tiny victory for marginalized groups is not new. The fight against the normalization of othered groups is not new.

That’s what they’re most afraid of. That each incremental victory will start to make marginalized groups feel safer, that each incremental victory will start to turn the tide of public opinion, that each incremental victory will eventually lead to sweeping law reform.

They’re afraid that they won’t be able to legally discriminate against us anymore.

So guys! Please. This fight, while hilarious, is also so fucking important. I am begging you to understand how old this fight is. These people always play the long game. They did it with Roe and they’re doing it with Disney.

We have! To keep! Pushing back!