#the costuming in this movie is making me normal (insane)

[tuesdaygray]

and when i mention the fact that art and tashi are wearing complimentary tennis outfits (all white head-to-toe branded adidas) in both of their winning junior us open matches before they even meet each other, acting as an invisible string connection to their future commercial success as a married couple, what then??

[frenchkisstheabyss]

⛧ 𝙽𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙱𝚘𝚛𝚗 𝙺𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚛𝚜 ⛧

⛧ Pairing: poly!slasher!minsung x chubby!fem!reader

⛧ Genre: slasher au/horror/fluff/angst

⛧ Summary: It's Halloween 1996, you've just broken up with your toxic ex, and there's a killer on the loose. When you go to the local video store to find your next distraction, you run into your longtime crushes who have their hearts set on looking after you. But you must be careful. Not everyone's who they appear to be.

⛧ Word Count: 2.1k

⛧ Warnings: brief discussion of murder, implied possessive ex, intro to knife play if you squint, suggestive, psycho Minsung, you probably have a killer fetish, & that's all my loves. It's otherwise quite fluffy tbh.

⛧ A/N: I'm starting this series as my love letter to 90's slasher films aaaand because I just love Minsung. I'm writing this in "tapes" instead of chapters for ✨ ambiance ✨ so I hope the vibes come across. I'm already working on part two so I'll have my knives and fingers crossed you babes enjoy this one.

💀 >>> Go to Tape 2 >>> 💀

A bell dings overhead as you step through the door of Topline Video. A crowd of middle school kids dart by, nearly knocking you over in their excitement to get home with some cheesy slasher flick they definitely shouldn’t be watching. All are in full costume, wearing the kind of plastic masks that smell sorta funny when you put them on. 

The kid dressed as a goblin turns back for a second, peeling up the murky green mask to reveal an apologetic face. “Sorry, lady!” he shouts, taking your gentle smile as a sign of forgiveness and racing to catch up to his friends. “Lady?” you whisper to yourself, the door creaking shut behind you, “Great, now I feel ancient.” 

Lucky for you there’s no time for an existential crisis as you’re swept into the frenzy of the video store. The walls are packed with what must be a thousand VHS tapes. Double sided displays line the aisles with hundreds more. Every one of them is some brand of horror movie with even the most obscure subgenre present. 

Black and orange streamers travel from one end of the ceiling to the next with tiny spiders dangling from them. Giant skeletons lurk in the corners guarding jack o lanterns with flickering eyes. Every year people eat it up but this year is particularly spooky. It sends a shiver down your spine when you recall why. 

“I heard they found another leg” a red haired girl says, casually smacking on a piece of bright pink bubblegum. Beside her a shorter girl files through tapes under a large bloody hand drawn sign reading SERIAL KILLERS.

“I thought they already found both of his legs. A guy can’t have three legs.”

The red haired girl shakes her head, smiling mischievously. “That is not true. I hooked up with him once. You could for sure consider that thing a third leg.” The girls break into a fit of giggles. Dodging their insensitivity, you squeeze yourself into the Monster Movie section. 

“Hey Drac” you sigh, staring up at the Dracula cutout looming over you, “I live in a town of idiots.” “You don’t mean everyone, do you?” a voice answers back with the worst Dracula impersonation you’ve ever heard. Suspicious that it isn’t coming from the cardboard cutout, you peek around to see a familiar face stocking the shelves. 

Your heart immediately begins to flutter, a blanket of warmth encompassing you. Han Jisung. If you flip through the dictionary you’ll find him under D for dreamy. The glow of the setting sun kisses his dark curly hair, making it almost sparkle. And those brown eyes, they’re so…no…keep it together. 

“That’s a terrible Dracula voice” you tease, arms folded across your chest. “I don’t know what you mean. Bleh, bleh, bleh” he carries on, pretending to bare his fangs. Now it’s you who’s giggling and you can’t stand how easily he gets you to.

“You are such a dork, Han.”

Returning to his normal voice he only shrugs, “But that’s why you’re so insanely in love with me isn’t it?”

His words intensify the heat moistening your palms. Fidgeting with the sleeves of your jean jacket, you wrack your brain for some witty response only for nonsense to tumble out. 

“No. What? I…uh…um…early.” 

Popping a copy of Megaverse Massacre 2 onto the shelf, Han raises an eyebrow at you, “Early?”

Your brain finally catches up to your mouth and you spit it out. “Uh, yeah, early. I heard you guys were closing early because of the…” 

“Body hacking psycho killer?” a voice cackles, gripping your shoulders from behind. You let out a blood curdling scream that draws the attention of a few nearby shoppers. Swinging around, your fist ready to dish out a debilitating gut punch, you come face to face with Lee Minho. You haven’t quite decided if he can be filed under “dreamy” or “asshole” yet.

Minho grins, never finding you cuter than when he’s getting on your nerves. “I’m sorry, babe. Didn’t hurt you did I?” he teases, straightening out your clothes with a gentleness you weren’t expecting. The sun’s doing that thing again. The sparkle. The glow. The radiant brown eyes searching yours, threatening to make you fall even deeper into them than you already have.

Han dips between the two of you, separating you before you rip Minho’s head off. “I’m sorry. Really. He was deprived of air in the womb. Being an asshole’s just a side effect.” 

Over Han’s shoulder Minho frowns, “Hey! Rude much?” Digging into his pocket, Han pulls out a lollipop. It’s sugar blown into the shape of a blood drenched kitchen knife. “Are you bribing me with a sugary murder weapon?” you ask, staring at it skeptically. Han flashes you a close lipped smile, his cheeks so fluffy it’d be a crime to deny him.

Snatching the lollipop you waste no time popping the wrapper off and tapping Minho on the head with it. “Hey! What was that for?” he winces, wiping lollipop residue from his head. “Sorry, babe” you grin, sucking on your tool of revenge, “Didn’t hurt you did I?” Han buries his face in his hand but it does nothing to hide the joy he takes in his best friend’s pain. 

This is nice. Laughing with someone. With them. It’s been a while since you felt this light around other people. The recent weight on you hasn’t been of some invisible boogeyman sneaking off with one of your limbs. No, your boogeyman was someone you knew well, or at least thought you did, and he’s haunted you every chance he can.

Speak of the devil…

A bell dings, drawing your attention to the door where a man in a demon mask scans the room for someone. You recognize him immediately. Those boots. Those pants. That flannel shirt you always found totally hideous on him. Your heart sinks, the lollipop in your hand tumbling to the floor.

You see Minho and Han’s hearts sink too. It’s as if they sense that any joy you’d been feeling just went down the drain that instant. Minho whispers something into Han’s ear. You can’t make out what, only the calculated tone of his voice. “Hey!” Han says, perking up again, “We’re having a movie night tonight. You should come.”

As the man in the demon mask spots you, your eyes dart back and forth between the men. “A movie night? Sure that would be…I’d like that.”

Han takes you by the hand, “Wicked. Come on, you can pick a movie from the back.” He leads you towards the backroom just as the man advances towards you. Peeking over your shoulder you spot Minho blocking his way. A quick left turn stops you from seeing what happens next, filling your vision instead with tattered old movie posters.

Passing a few of Han’s coworkers, you wave politely and they smile in return. The back room’s like a dustier, quieter version of the sales floor. The walls are still lined with tapes, only there’s no way these have been watched any time in the past decade. Through the dust you see the spine of a tape titled Camp Counselor Sleepover Murder Party 4.

“That one” you decide, stopping dead in your tracks.

Han stops too, squinting to spot what caught your eye, “A woman of taste I see.” 

Pulling it from the shelf, he blows the dust away and hands it to you. “Only the finest for you.”

You feel that lightness again. It's easy to feel it when he smiles at you like this. Such an unexpected but welcomed sense of safety. “Han, thanks for…” you start but the surprise sensation of his lips pressed to yours makes anything you were about to say feel insignificant.

With one hand still holding yours, his other hand comes to rest on your lower back. Your lips are somehow softer than he’d imagined. Even in the absence of the lingering strawberry flavored lollipop, he knows they’d taste just as sweet. Minho’s gonna kill him when he finds out that he kissed you first but nothing could be more worth it.

“Thank me by not worrying about your ex,” he says, “He won’t bother you anymore. I promise.” 

You want to tell him how much he doesn’t understand. That your ex doesn’t give up that easily. But you decide not to ruin the moment, even if letting yourself believe him feels delusional. “Jisung, we need you up front!” one of his coworkers shouts back. He hesitates, unsure if he should leave you or not.

You kiss him first this time, turning him loose, “Go. I’ll be fine back here. Camp Counselor Sleepover Murder Party 1-3 have gotta be rotting around here somewhere right?” One last kiss and he’s rushing back up front, clueless as to how he’s supposed to focus on anything else now.

Turning back to the shelf you realize how big of a challenge you’re in for. Maybe there’s a feather duster somewhere? Or a respirator mask?

“Give it here. That has to be wrong.” Minho approaches the kitchen counter where you sit, playfully swinging your feet. He reaches for the magazine in your hand but you clutch it tightly to your chest, refusing to fork it over.

“Live with it, Minho. You are Suspicious Boyfriend.” 

“Suspicious boyfriend” Han sings, retrieving a bag of freshly popped popcorn from the microwave, “I think it has a ring to it.”

Hopping down from the counter, you skip your way over to Han extending the magazine and the pen in your hand out to him. “Your turn, Hannie.” You see the skepticism all over his face but don’t give up. All torture must be equal after all.

“I’ll take that” Minho smiles, stealing the popcorn for himself.

“Sure. Why not?” Han surrenders, grabbing the magazine and the pen. You and Minho watch on, far more amused than you should be, as Han skims the pages checking off answers to silly personality questions. Pick a country to travel to. Pick a favorite food. Upstairs or downstairs?

After a minute or two he finishes and slides the magazine back over to you. You can barely contain yourself as you assess his results. Leaning across the counter, you share them with Minho who immediately begins to laugh. 

“What’s so funny? What did I get?” Han asks looking so genuinely concerned that you almost feel bad for telling Minho first. Minho empties the popcorn into a bright orange Halloween bowl, shoveling some into his mouth. “Comic Relief Best Friend” he mumbles. Han frowns, coming to see for himself. You hold the results page up for him. 

Which Horror Character Are You?

You point to his score beneath the headline “Comic Relief Best Friend”.

“Oh, okay. So I’m funny and I die before him. Perfect.”

“Aww, come on. Don’t be like that” you say, poking at his chin, “It’s not like I got the best result either. I’m the Final Girl.” 

“What’s so bad about that?” Minho asks, his words muffled by food, “It means you make it to the sequel.” 

“No, it means that I’m boring. Badass but boring. I wanna be the killer. They have more fun.” 

Han shakes his head, a sympathetic hand resting on your shoulder, “I hate to break it to you but you’re not really killer material.” Minho takes your hand like a doctor prepared to give you some bad news, “Yeah, you just…you don’t have it in you, kid.” 

“Don’t have it in me? I do so!” you protest, your tantrum not doing much to make you less adorable. Minho moves toward the knife rack behind him, carefully selecting the biggest, sleekest one he can find. “Okay, so kill me.” 

There’s a long, tense silence.

“Come on. It’s not that hard. Just…” Minho mimes stabbing himself in the chest, his tongue stuck out sideways. “Give it!” you shout, running to take the knife away. Minho catches you by the wrist, slipping the knife into your hand and raising the tip of the blade an inch away from his throat.

“Do it” he dares, his hand tightening around yours, “Prove us wrong.”

There’s an unnerving excitement in his eyes as he awaits your decision. An excitement that doesn’t seem to want you to back away. No, it wants you to come closer. He wants you to come closer.

“Hannie,” you plead, “Can you talk some sense into him please?” Han joins the two of you, saying nothing at first, simply observing. The way that they watch you is intensely sexual and some part of you, one you hadn’t known existed until now, seems to take pleasure in it. 

Han laughs, bringing his arms around your waist, “Oh but sweetie, we’ve played your game. Don’t you wanna play ours now?”

[phant0mth1ef]

chapter 7: my bitch pose is NEASTY.

-

“…”

“… so? is that it?? he left you on read?” monoma was currently sat on your couch, his blonde hair was lying on his head like a mop and he still had his hero costume on, if he was caught in the wrong district at night, people would most definitely get the wrong idea about him.

“can you at least pretend to be interested?! i’m pouring my heart out here and you’re just making me feel like my conversation with him didn’t matter!” you shouted from the kitchen, your habit of baking whenever you were stressed was currently coming into play as you used one arm to stir the bowl of cookie dough together.

“i mean.. i think you’re being a bit dramatic. all he did was talk to you. that’s literally what any normal person would do.” he spread himself out on your couch, lying down as if he paid the bills.

“whatever, just say you hate to see me happy.” he heard the ding that signaled that the oven was ready from where he was reclined.

a knock was heard on your door, and you could hearing monoma groan as he lifted himself up off the couch, going to answer your door.

“what?” monoma said as he grabbed the door handle, hoping the person on the other side could hear him. he’d nearly shut it when he saw who was outside your residence.

“who is it, neito?!” you yelled from the kitchen, your visitors being able to hear your voice.

“just some solicitors! don’t worry, i’ll tell them to get lost.” he smiled, his pearly white teeth on display for the group to see.

they’d pushed their way past him, inhaling the scent of cookies baking as they took in your residence in all its’ glory.

japan didn’t have many gated communities, so for you to have lived in one was something rare. each house was about two stories, and for you to afford it on a streamers’ salary was insane.

“how the hell do you afford this by playing video games?!” bakugou spoke, breaking the silence that enveloped your home.

from where you stood in your kitchen, you couldn’t see who had entered until you heard his voice coming through your ears.

you’d quickly come outside, setting your timer as you very obviously ran outside, almost tripping over your feet as you straightened yourself up.

“hello everyone!” you smiled, a slight blush on your cheeks as you looked at bakugou.

“hey! we brought you some medicine for that wrist of yours. got it straight from a friend who specializes in medicine.” kirishima smiled wide, holding up a bag in one hand.

you’d grabbed it, mumbling a quick oh thank you as you stood there.

“so um, this is kinda rude but. what are you guys doing here?” you asked as they looked at you.

“well baku-.” kirishima began as bakugou subtly nudged him.

“oh. well we wanted to come see if you’d wanted to watch a movie with us.” he spoke, giving his friend a knowing grin as the latter glared at him.

“sure! i’ve got cookies baking and you guys can set up in the living room. neito will help you.” you smiled, and the group made its’ way to your array of couches.

tonight was going to be fun.

i hate this

tags!: @sukunasbottomlefteyeball @kanvis @brbwritingfanfic @pixiesluver

[stvrl0st]

guys for the past like 2 days I've been going insane whenever i think abt my s/o so I'm gonna do the thing that I did with neville&enzo/zhara&mattheo.

also idk if I've ever said who he is so s/o reveal ig

ALSO. I WILL BE USING MY REAL NAME. YES IK IT MIGHT BE WEIRD. ILL PROBABLY CHANGE IT IN 1 OR 2 HOURS.

I ALSO DONT RLY KNOW HOW TO DO THIS ONE.

ME. (cindy kimberly as my fc) & if you don't know who the guy is (you should tho. he's amazing🤨‼️ .ᴊᴏᴋᴇ.) he's an actor (mainly on broadway) named (IDONTFUCKINGKNOWIFTHATSTHERIGHTWORD) jeremy jordan😻🫶

I LITERALLY CANNOT ACT NORMALLY WHENEVER I THINK, SEE A VID, OR LITERALLY ANYTHING OF HIM ITS NOT FUNNY.

anyway.

so idk of those pics make sense but I'm trying okay😭

HOW WE MET. alr so i sorta explained this in a post a few weeks ago but i deleted it so if you wanna know just ask or smt idk. OKAY SO. year 2024 or 2025 I'm still deciding anyway so there's this new movie coming out (the greatest showman) & I end up having the role of anne wheeler & he gets the role of phillip carlyle (HE ACTUALLY WAS SUPPOSED TO BUT THEY GAVE IT TO ZAC EFRON😭) & ofc I'm gonna do this troupe because why tf not. anyway so I didn't know who the cast was because they cast me rly sudden & I'm like well known because I was in hannah montana & in the mcu ANNDDDD was in multiple musicals on broadway🤭 (also keeping most of the og cast) so anyway first day on the set AND YES I SCIRPTED THE FIRST SCENE WE DID WAS THE PART AFTER THE OTHER SIDE KNOWING ME YES. anyhooo so yeah in costume & all that (ALSO THIS IS THE SCENE IF YOU DONT KNOW.)

SO FILMING THIS SCENE. FIRST SCENE WE DID (not the whole movie just like the first scene I did) so we had to do a couple retakes & stuff (I KNOW HOW IT IS IN MY HEAD I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT.) okay so like the 2nd ir 3rd retake everyone took like a 15 minute break & we like fully met idk if that makes sense. BUT BASICALLY. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT IDC WHAT YOU GUYS THINK😭😻🫶

annddddd ofc we started hanging out more & stuff😻

I have more things I'm just sure this is enough for now

[killingfrankie]

MY THOUGHTS ON THE OBC CAST RECORDING OF MEAN GIRLS.

‘A Cautionary Tale’: Honestly the best start to a musical ever. I’m obsessed with this song so much it’s insane. The little ‘nice’ from Damian and then ‘thank you’ from Janis after the ‘you can’t buy integrity from the mall’ line is SO SATISFYING. So good.

‘It Roars’: The transition into this song is so seamless and perfect and it’s so catchy. It shows how separated Cady is from society and it helps make sense of who she is, why she acts the way she does and how enthusiastic she is to finally join a more “normal community/society”. Does that make sense?. I am personally thankful that it was cut from the movie and replaced by ‘What Ifs’ because I just don't think it would’ve translated well. And that’s okay! Some things are better left untouched.

‘Where Do You Belong?’: “your mother called you babygirl?” “singing ha ha ha” SO GOOD. Damian is so funny. In the musical and the new movie Damian has so much more personality and more of a backstory and it’s so good. SO MAD THIS WAS CUT THOUGH. Grey slayed this song. The introduction to Damian and Janis for Cady. Perfect.

‘Meet The Plastics’: Silly silly Cady so so so curious. The way they describe the plastics in the beginning💀so funny. “MY NAME IS REGINA GEEEEORRRRRRRGE” LITERAL FUCKING CHILLS I LOVE TAYLOR LOUDERMAN. Her intro is so fucking real. HATE the 115 line tho. Thank goodness they changed it. Mad they cut karen and Gretchen’s parts from the movie tho 🙁 GRETCHEN’S VERSE IS SO GOOD BRO. straight and to the point. Karen’s intro is so funny. I love Karen. They could never make me hate her. “That’s it! :D” kate rockwell oh how i love you. WHEN ALL THEIR VERSES MERGE IS SO GOOD. i'm personally a Regina girl so I sing the ‘heeeeeres where you belong here's where you belong.’ “NO REALLY SAY IT.” SO GOOD. “come sit with us tomorrow! It’ll be fetch!”

‘Stupid With Love’: LOOOOOOVE. I used to not really like this song but it’s grown on me a lot and I love how unhinged Erika gets. “Do you have an eraser?” “i would love to :3” cadyyyyyyyy heroooonnnnnn. SO GOOD. “jinx!” “ha ^_^ IM ASTOUNDED AND NONPLUSSED. I AM FILLED WITH CALCULUST.” I LOVE HER. this song is so good. I also personally really like Angourie’s version too.

‘Apex Predator’: i can play this song on piano. SO GOOD. i love this song so much. Have you guys seen rachel zeglers cover? Cady using metaphors to present Regina’s behaviour and her power is so clever and it’s just so fun to listen to. When janis and cady both sing “she’s queen of beasts” THEY SOUND SO GOOD TOGETHER BRO. “HOW CAN YOU OUTSMAAAAARRRRRRRT THE APEX PREDATOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR”

‘What’s Wrong With Me?’: Gretchen :((( I feel like i cry to this song a lot. It’s just like, gretchen, honey, you dont deserve this.  “Mama called me beautiful. Dont believe her anymore, now im listening to you.” REGINA LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS SHE’S JUST A BABY😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 the final “WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME” AND SHE BELTS. SO GOOD. translated so well on screen.

‘Stupid With Love (Reprise)’: i’ve never been a big fan of aaron but i don’t have any issues with him but this is satisfying to listen to. “So i’m swearing off of dating.” “Shit.🥲” . “hey whats the date?” “october 3rd! MY NEW FAVOURITE DAY!”

‘Sexy’: KAREN I LOVE YOU. this song translates so well onto screen from stage. Kate slayed this song and so did avantika. I love how passionate karen is about halloween. This song is such a BOP too. The beat is so addicting. “I CAN BE” ateeee. She knows who she is and she SLAYED. When she lists the costumes. Chefs kiss. The whole sex cancer bit is so good. Thank you for curing sex cancer karen! “THIS IS MODERN FEMINISM TALKING. I EXPECT TO RUN THE WORLD IN SHOES I CANNOT WALK IN.” ICONIC. PERFECT. INCREDIBLE.

‘Someone Gets Hurt’: literal chills. Like actual goosebumps. “Yes i look perfect” yes you do. I can play this on guitar. SO FUCKING GOOD ISTG. so tense. I’d give in to her immediately. She’s so intoxicating i swear to god. This song captures regina SO WELL. there’s so many astonishing little vocal moments. Taylor louderman is literally one of my favourite vocalists of all time she’s so fucking good to listen to. The amount of emotion in her voice is incredible. “IT’S FINE FOR YOU IT’S FINE TO FLIRT. AND GOD YOU’RE HOT WHY DO YOU EVEN WEAR A SHIRT.” actually fucking insane i love her.

‘Revenge Party’: this song is so fun and actually batshit crazy i love it. It really shows how creative Janis and Damian are. This for me is where Cady turns for the worst. I hate the whole theme where they fuck with regina’s weight to take her down. It’s genuinely disgusting and thats one of my only problems with mean girls. Like ik they’re all mean girls but still. Gretchens whole meltdown is so fucking funny. I love gretchen so much. The final chorus is so fun.

‘Fearless’: gretchen not being able to function without having a “boss” is iconic but also someone get her a therapist. This song is so fun. Like all of them singing about not being scared of regina and then regina coming in and changing the song to the chords of SGH and then basically warning them that she will get them back. Again, CHILLS.

‘Stop’: MY FAV ATM. SO FUN. SO MAD THEY CUT IT FROM THE MOVIE. JAQUEL WOULD’VE SERVED. So catchy and addicting i love it so much. The “stop” before giving examples hits every time. “MY GOD GIRL, HE’S JUST A GUY!” SO TRUE!!! Janis calling out Damian about Phillip is so funny. Damian going insane over phillip is so funny. “For four whole weeks i trolled and dissed her. THEN I FOUND OUT SHE WAS HIS SISTER.” CRYING ITS SO FUNNY. Then all the girls saying their mistakes. It just gets gradually more sad. “Good work ladies lets take a break” A 5-6-7-8 ! “ TAP BREAK. ICONIC. Him calling her out by saying “stop. Being glued to your phone, counting followers and likes and IGNORING YOUR FRIENDS.” and then the. “She’s leaving! JUST LIKE MY DAD!” IS SO FUNNY.

‘What’s Wrong With Me? (Reprise)’: again with the “boss” :( also having mrs george in the reprise is so funny and it makes so much sense. Bless they’re both trying so hard. “You’ll be worshipped for years.. Then she’ll turn three and everything’s wrong with me” REGINA WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR MOTHER 😭😭

‘Whose House Is This?’: SO addicting and fun. “WHOSE HOUSE IS THIS? ITS MY HOUSE NOW.” im so thankful kevin kind of got a song. He’s so funny. “WHOSE HOUSE IS THIS?” “IT WAS ALWAYS MY HOUSE😭” SO FUNNY.

‘More Is Better’: am i the only one who thinks aaron kinda over-reacted here when he called cady a clone of regina… likeeeeee it’s not that deep bro. Also when it alludes to ‘i see stars’ is so cute. She’s JUST a girl. And she’s not wrong. Regina wouldn’t let that girl talk to him in a normal conversation. What else was she supposed to do? Aaron does have some points tho about how she’s changing herself to it in. but he shouldn’t be scrutinising her for it.. Like bro just reassure her that you like how she normally is… cutesy song tho

‘Someone Gets Hurt (Reprise)’: this entire sequence is genuinely insane and so fucking good and i am obsessed with barrett so much like she’s so talented. And Auli'i ate it up in the movie too.

‘World Burn’: GOOSEBUMPS. The start of this scene is so sad in the movie… TAYLOR LOUDERMAN ATE THIS SONG UP. not a fan of the use of the d slur tho. V happy they changed it for the movie. The intensity of this song makes me feel like im entering my villain era. “But you didnt finish my oooooofoffffff. MY NAME IS REGINA GEORGE.” CHILLS BRO CHILLS. “AND YOU CAN QUOTE THIS. WOAHOHOHOOOOOHHHOHHHH.” “MEAN. MEAN. MEEEEEEEEEEAN.” I LOVE HER BRO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. “SOO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAN. I WANNA WATCH THE WORLD BURN.” I C O N I  C.

‘I’d Rather Be Me’: i can play this song on piano too. It’s so good. I love it so much. Probably my fav when i first watched the musical. My fav thing is the chanting of “janis janis janis janis” and it is so satisfying. Im sad they cut it from the movie. Janis’ redemption arc is so fucking good. Love a queen who will do anything to be authentically themself. “everyBODY has opinions but tht doesnt make them true.” i prefer the ‘every asshole’ from the movie but the everyBODY still hits.

‘Do This Thing’: “YO YO YO MATHLETES STATE CHAMPIONSHIPS, WHAT! FIRST FEMALE EVER ON THE TEAM, WHAT! A BOXED LUNCH WILL BE PROVIDED, WHAT!” SO FUCKING FUNNY BROOOOO. “I’m a lean, mean, math machine” okay cady. Whatever floats ur boat queen. That line kinda hits. The part where they’re solving equations hits so hard. Kevin is so funny. “YOU LIKE THAT MARYMOUNT?!?!” cady ate it up towards the end. This song is so good.

‘I See Stars’: this song is so cvnty i love it. It makes me lightheaded when i karaoke it though so god bless erika henningsen for doing it 8 times a week. This song is so cutesy i love it. The perfect ending. Cady’s redemption was so well written bro. And i love this song. Not my favourite but it’s still on my playlists.

[drunktuesdays]

Trick or treat! I'm so in love with Auld Lang Syne, I still think about it all the time. Is there a headcanon or deleted line or some kind of behind the scenes tidbit you can share? :)

[auld lang syne]

first of all, i LOVE that you still love it. that makes me SO happy to hear!!!

i don't think we ended up deleting anything--@annakovsky and I honestly were incredibly tight and focused about it. Part of it was that we were doing a take off of the movie, so we knew what the end was going to be, and roughly about how much time we needed to cover before we got there.

i think the main headcanon we've discussed that obviously couldn't have made it into the story is how bizarre jim's life is about to become in the real world.

you have to picture like, okay, he got his heart smashed by his best friend and the love of his life, yeah. but it's been a number of years, and he's moved on, kinda. he's an adult. he's still wrestling, he's dated a bit. messed around. it's not like he's been withering in dustin's absence. and then dustin explodes back into his life, absolutely ferociously determined to be a good boyfriend. old dustin would have never come to his family's christmas dinner, or if he did--would maybe have made a big joke of it. but this dustin is politely making small talk with annoying aunt ellen, not even darting rescue me eyes at jim. and when jim goes over anyway, dustin just slides a big heavy arm around jim's shoulder and tugs him close, and continues answering the same question about whether he knows the rock.

dustin kind of looks like he wants to be invited to stay over, that night, but jim's not prepared to squeeze into the full bed in the guest room with the squeaky springs. instead, he tells dustin he'll text when he gets back to town, and dustin says okay, but doesn't wait. texts a picture of his dog in a reindeer costume the next morning. asks a question about jim's job. follows jim on every social media. it's just--overwhelming. good, but you know, disorienting. they go get dinner and end up sitting at the table until the restaurant closes, and then jim does invite dustin up. and somehow--dustin doesn't leave after that. jim knows dustin has an apartment of his own, a nicer one, actually. he bullied dustin into them staying there a few times but dustin just makes a face about it. says he just likes jim's normal NoLibs apartment better. jim gives up and moves his stuff around to give dustin half the dresser.

then of course, jim finds a ring in one of dustin's drawer. dustin catches him finding it, and then doesn't even have the decency to seem embarrassed about it. "well i didn't ask you yet, did i?" dustin says when jim shrilly reminds him they've been dating for three months. when jim asks him when he is planning to ask, dustin smirks infuriatingly, and says "when you're gonna say yes."

it's just--the dustin who broke his heart seemed to resent anyone he had to lean on. anyone who wanted to lean on him. jim had been careful not to ask for too much or expect too much from dustin. he'd known it was a mistake that night, when he--horny and worked up--had pushed the condom out of dustin's hand. said "it's not like either of us are ever with anyone else." he'd known even before dustin reared back, his face blank and unreadable, that it was a mistake.

but this dustin, new dustin, newoldnew dustin, seems so comfortable with jim, with jim's life. he's not shying back or wiggling free of any presumption jim makes. just to test him, jim asks dustin to come to an employee appreciation party at work, and dustin puts on a nice sweater and goes.

it's crazy. it's insane. it's wild. and the craziest thing is--jim is pretty sure when dustin does ask, jim's gonna say yes.

[sweet-little-raven]

I watched Beetlejuice Beetlejuice today! 🪲🧃🖤

Here's what I thought about it! (Spoiler-free)

I loved it and would rate it 9/10. The decors were just WOW, the costumes were amazing, the storyline was great. I still prefer the first one because, obviously, nothing can beat the original. I loved the movie BUT I feel like it was too short. There was different storylines, useless characters and more. Overall, the actors were great, Jenna was a real cutie and she's very Wednesday-like in this; I loved it. It's totally worth watching! Gonna watch it again as soon as I can 🖤

Review (with spoilers! Don't read if you don't want spoilers!)

As I said above, there was a lot of useless characters and storylines. Like, by example, Dolores, Monica Bellucci's character (I'm still shocked that she waved at me in Venice 🤭) She was Beetlejuice's wife and the one who killed him when he was still human. She was amazing, so pretty and the backstory was really nice, but in the movie she was kinda useless. The few lines she had were "where's Beetlejuice?" and she barely had screen-time. She didn't add anything to the main storyline: saving Astrid. It's a bit sad, I would have loved to see more of her character.

While we're talking about useless characters... Willem Defoe's was more than useless. He played an afterlife actor detective. His screentime was useless, didn't add anything to the main storyline either.

So, yeah, the ideas are great but there was too much different ones and not enough time. Everything felt rushed — they barely spent any time in the afterlife. And Astrid kissing that boy 2 days after meeting him? Hmm.

Overall, that's a great movie, really funny and nostalgic. But all these kinda useless scenes anf characters makes me rate it only 9/10. But again, I love it. Astrid is gonna be one of my fav characters Jenna played! I love her so much, she's iconic. And the music was INSANE, I love that they used Tragedy by the Bee Gees.

But Dalia dying was a bit too much 🥲 Hopefully there will be a third movie. I mean, if Tim named it "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice", he has an idea in his head. So a third movie would make "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice"... which is logical when you think about it.

I also love the end! Jenna giving birth to a baby Beetlejuice was way too fun 🤣 and when he says "Mommy" I laughed so hard. Another negative point... Lydia's bangs. WHAT THE FUCK. As a goth teenager, okay, but as an adult? No. Just no. I wish she had normal bangs like at Venice or London's premiere.

Can't wait for the movie to be out on plateforms to watch it again and make edits ✨️🖤

Sorry if this review doesn't really make sense, it's my first time writing one, lol 🥲 these are just my thoughts. Obviously everyone its tastes! I personally loved the moviw, though it felt a bit rushed.

[charlewiss-writes]

beautiful stranger / mick schumacher

masterlist

day 22: eyes (part of one-word november prompts!)

summary: you meet someone you had never seen before at a masquerade party that was organised to prevent halloween going to waste this year, after falling on the same weekend as the mexican gp. will you see him again?

word count: 1.2k

pairing: mick schumacher x leclerc!reader

warnings: mentions of alcohol and the consumption of, mentions of platonic!pierre and brother!charles, badly translated french and german (just two words used).

with halloween falling in the same weekend as the mexican gp, you thought that the holiday was cancelled for you this year.

until someone knocked on the door.

"y/n, you there?" your twin brother, charles, was banging the door, and if you didn't open it soon, he would absolutely shatter it. what did he have to say to you that was so urgent? that needed you to get out of bed, when you already were about to fall asleep with some movie as background sound and the face mask resting on your face?

he knew how much you love this holiday, so when you opened the door, grumpy, to a completely energized charles who was about to jump off the wall while screaming "halloween is on again!", he didn't quite understand why you didn't reciprocate his emotion.

"what are you talking about?" you said, with your brows furrowed. "the race ended a few hours ago. we're still in mexico". the monegasque rolled his eyes, annoyed that you weren't in the same wavelength as him. "did you realize that the same people we would go out with in monte carlo are literally right here?".

well, he certainly had a point.

"ok ok, you're right. but I've got no costume, cha, so I have to decline your invitation" in reality, you could probably put something together with the clothes you travelled with, no need to go all-out like you normally would, but you were already about to fall asleep, so it didn't really seem worth it to put on the effort. "it's not a costume party, silly, you didn't even let me explain! it's a masquerade ball!". you were about to say that you didn't have a mask, that would be absolutely insane, who travels across the globe with something like that ready on their luggage? but he stopped you right on your tracks, depositing a black mask in your hand without waiting for your response. "we leave in 30 minutes. if you're not already on the lobby, I'm coming to get you, and I won't be as nice. okay, ma mie? (my dear)".

and again, he left you with the words at the tip of your tongue. you huffed, and started to get ready for whatever he was so excited about, but with the worst mood ever. putting on a simple black dress, some heels and a bit of makeup, you applied the finishing touches before actually putting on the mask. giving you one small look on the mirror and satisfied with the result, you almost promised yourself that this won't be long, you'll go just to please your brother and then, before he even noticed, you would be back in your bed.

"he's late again, isn't he?" you asked pierre when you got out of the elevator, and arrived at the entrance hall of the hotel, where your brother had told you to meet him. he recognised your voice instantly and lifted his gaze from the telephone, nodding. he was almost grinning too, seeing how mad you were with charles, since he had rushed you and then was the one making you all late.

it seemed to be a theme between you three when charles came down wearing an all-black outfit, you thought, but there wasn't any more time to reflect on anything since he zoomed out of the hotel and got you all in the car that was already waiting outside. "what's with that face, y/n?" pierre said jokingly while adjusting his seatbelt. you rolled your eyes at charles' response to his best friend "she didn't want to come".

"didn't want to be left alone like last time, remember?" the last time you three had gone out to get a few drinks, pierre and charles had left with their respective partners and left you there, alone, so you had to ask lando to help you get back to the hotel. "maybe you'll find someone this time, no?" the frenchman at your side nudged you a bit, at which you glared at him. "the only person I'll find will be you two, absolutely passed out on the vip section of the club, as always. shut up or i'll walk back to the hotel".

—

when you all arrived, almost everyone was already inside, all wearing the same kind of mask that your brother had given you a bit earlier. they went directly towards the booth where all the other drivers were already. you, I instead, went directly to the bar to find something to drink.

"i'll have what she has" said a soft voice behind you, one that you didn't quite recognise. when the person got beside you, you realized that, in fact, you didn't recognize him. even with the mask on, you could appreciate his prince-like features, something different from anyone you had seen before. but his eyes especially caught your attention: blue as the ocean, and as calm as the sky after a particular strong storm.

you hadn't expected to find someone quite as interesting as him. usually, at these kind of parties charles always dragged you to, it was all jokes and alcohol, never deep conversation like the topics you discussed with the beautiful stranger.

you didn't quite know how much time had passed, long forgotten the idea that you should return back to the booth charles and pierre were in.

"I've been looking for you!" pierre almost screamed, shaking your arm and startling you out of the conversation with the blonde guy. "charles is almost black-out drunk. we need to get him home." you huffed, not wanting to end the conversation you had with the stranger, but at the same time needing to check if your brother was alright.

"i'll find you" you promised the blue eyed guy, while holding pierre's hand that was guiding you to where the monegasque was. he simply gifted you the most captivating smile you had ever seen.

"please do".

—

when you woke up the next morning, you weren't sure if you had ever felt as hungry as you were in that moment. almost sprinting down to the cafeteria, you arrived just in time to order your coffee before the staff stopped serving breakfast due to it being almost midday. with how hurried you were, you hadn't seen that there was a blonde boy seated on the table that was close to the window, where you had breakfast every morning since you arrived in mexico.

"hey, I'm sorry, is this taken?" you shyly said. you figured that you could sit with him, since he was alone, and all the other tables were filled with staff members from different teams, who all seemed to be having important conversations.

"no no, please, sit. I was about to leave anyways" he kindly smiled, and you swore that you had seen that grin before. "I'm sorry, do I know you? you seem familiar".

"depends on how drunk you were last night".

suddenly, it was like the starts aligned and the points connected. how could you forget those beautiful ocean blue eyes? you had honestly given up hope, cause how could you find someone only based on the color of his eyes? in a way, you thought you were starting to lose your mind because you couldn't stop thinking about him since you had woken up, even though the events of last night were a bit blurred due to the high amount of alcohol you consumed. still, the color of his eyes remained intact, almost like you had taken a photograph of them, having them instantly memorized, engraved forever in your memories.

you gave him a knowing smile, and asked the question, even if your heart already knew the answer. "it's you, isn't it?"

"I guess you've found me, schatze".

[iantimony]

a day late because yesterday i was tooooo busy! some spoilers in here for dungeon meshi and saltburn!

listening: mostly background stuff. i still haven't played more nier: automata but the boyf got me listening to the soundtrack and it whips.

reading: more tgcf at night to soothe my frenzied brain to sleep. i finished dungeon meshi yesterday!! i did cry!!! it was so, so good, i loved it. i really liked that there was no set antagonist, per se, at least not until the very end with the fight against the winged lion, it was all just a bunch of characters with different but justifiable goals that had their aims all butting up against each other. very cool. i love kabru what a little shit

a collection of some good screenshots:

watching: many things this week. my partner is visiting for the week and we like to have videos on while we're cooking n eating so we watched...essentially the entirety of weird history food channel, started with the trader joes one and spiraled from there.

we also watched the currently-released episodes of dungeon meshi. very charming. i cannot wait to see how they animate certain scenes.

on sunday night we did a friend dinner, so me and my boyfriend, roommate and hers, and one other friend; after dinner we movie night-ed it and watched saltburn and blazing saddles:

saltburn was insane! apparently there is shock and alarm at the sex scenes, which i am not very online about it so i have no idea what people are actually saying but imo it was not that crazy. there is a solo, uh, let's call it Moment towards the end of the film that is pretty out there, but besides that the sex scenes are the least of anyone's worries in this movie. it took me WAY too long to realize that the main character was the antagonist, i'm normally pretty savvy to those kinds of twists so that took me off guard. my roommate had seen it once (or even twice?? i think?? i have no wish to watch that movie again, good for her though) and i didn't start clocking it until immediately before felix tricked oliver into going home. as they were in the car i was like "there's no fucking way that he lied about his family to felix. right. right??" oops. some good cool symbolism in there, i had a bit of an xkcd "of course everyone knows this myth" moment when my roommate was like "huh i wonder if there's a symbolic reason for the bull-man statue in the maze at the end, or felix's angel wing costume" and i was like surprise pikachu. the minotaur, the labyrinth, icarus, hello? wdym you don't know the story of the minotaur??? much to think about with this movie. i searched it on tumblr and feel like a lot of people missed the point in favor of blorbo romance but like, fair, it is the blorbo romance website. 8.5/10.

blazing saddles was our palette cleanser after that doozy of a film. my friend said at the end "anyone who thinks this movie is racist needs better media literacy" and i'm inclined to agree. yes the n word is in there - but the people saying it are so unambiguously depicted as insanely stupid and wrong, and the leading man is a charismatic handsome black man, and tbh the smartest person in the movie? arguably more homophobic (the end scenes) than racist but even then the way 'f*ggot' is deployed hit me like modern tumblr humor.

idk. even though it's a comedy it is Very clear to me that a message from this movie is "Racism Bad". i thought it was fun, didn't find the blonde lady's musical number very good or funny, got a few chuckles out of it overall. classic mel brooks. 7/10.

playing: wizord101.

making: started experimenting with english paper piecing! i forgot to take a picture yesterday so ill try to remember and add that later today. or maybe for next week's post. also started a pair of fingerless gloves for my mom

eating: my boy made us all a budae-jjigae type object on sunday and it was so so so yummy - photo from before simmering for like 30 minutes, with pork belly, spam, tofu, and a bunch of mushrooms, grunions, and kimchi:

before my roommate came back from a conference we did this cabbage and thin-sliced hotpot beef thing that was. so fucking good. we had it two separate nights in a row. just layering meat and napa cabbage and then cutting into ~2in strips, laying them in a pot, filling the center with mushrooms; make a broth of soy sauce/dashi/misc soup stock powder from leftover ramen, pour it over, simmer til cooked baby. delicious. this image is a little steamy bc i tried to take it right after opening the pot, lol

misc: wough. struggling to get back into the routine a little. i need to make more spreadsheets for my agonies (apartment hunting and determining what internships/programs to apply to for this summer). and i need to start using my planner again because i keep forgetting to do shit.

[pngjpeg]

things i loved about dune 2: havent seen a movie that makes me experience pure joy at the cinematic experience in so so so long 6/5 stars letterboxd review incredibly dazzling insane beautiful visually and the sound and the contrasts and the costumes and the acting and everything things i disliked about dune 2: stilgar's character becoming a parody of himself - wouldn't have been difficult at all to make him transition slowly from Being Normal to religious fervour, this feels like studio meddling i would have liked things 2 be more ambiguous about what's happening considering most of the book happens In Thoughts (but thats an unpopular take)

i felt like dave bautista wasn't given any lines that weren't just screaming and bc of that his acting kinda came out a little 2 dimensional

THUFIR MY MAN THUFIR WHERE DID THEY HIDE HIM

basically all the issues i have w the movie would have been solved with another hour!!!!! SLAP ANOTHER HOUR ONTO IT. MAKE AN INTERMISSION HAPPEN IN THE MIDDLE. FIVE HOUR MOVIE. SIX HOUR MOVIE. PLEASE.;

[clementine-side-blog]

Eli Sunday SFW Headcanons (Modern AU)

Summary: My personal Eli Sunday SFW headcanons. Keep in mind that I set this in a modern AU because I'm a lazy piece of shit that doesn't like to write in any other time except for modern <3

(Read Below For Headcanons. These might be a little controversial to some people, but I hope at least SOME of you like them. So, yeah...)

Personality:

He is very soda (I accidentally typed this while talking to my friend about soda, but it's so funny that I decided to keep it in)

I personally think that he is not that religious. I know that might be insane to say, but let me explain...

In the movie, he doesn't really seem that into religion. Every time he is giving a sermon, preaching, or absolving someone of their sins, he is ALWAYS making a show of it. He's putting all the attention on himself. Because of this, I feel like he only became a priest so HE could be worshipped. He hates his family, he's embarrassed by his father, and he wants to be the center of attention. Eli couldn't give a shit about religion, he just wants people to be dependent and look up to him. He just used the religion as a facade to get what he wanted.

I like to believe that he was a priest for a while, but got so sick and tired of it. He also hated his family, feeling forced into religion, so he moved away and went to California, then went to college and became a professor.

His weird experience with religion is what caused him to go into the profession of Religion Studies. It fascinates him.

In modern AU, I do not think he would be a priest. I feel that he would be a professor at a university who teaches Religious Studies (so basically he teaches about different religions and how it applied in history and stuff like that)

I think in the movie he's around 23 (at least thats how old paul was during the time it came out) so I'm gonna say he's like 27 in my headcanons.

Very arrogant/egotistical asf

He really doesn't even have a personality, like I'm being so fr. Most of the time he's very monotone and emotionless. You're the only one that can get any type of emotion out of him.

He lives life like an NPC in a video game.

In a relationship with someone, he acts the same as he normally is. He's not any less arrogant/egotistical. If he's going to be in a relationship with someone, he wants them to think highly of him.

He's a good boyfriend, but he also can be a bit toxic sometimes. Like he has a God/Superiority complex, so I mean, he's going to be toxic asf...

BUT, if he's in a relationship with you, he also has the need to protect/care for you. He's honestly a very sweet man, he's just arrogant.

He takes a lot of pride in his appearance. The only time he's underdressed is when he is at home. Any other time, he has his hair styled and dresses nicely. He has a skin care routine.

He HATES getting dirty.

Hobbies:

I struggle to see this dude having hobbies, but...

I feel like he would like painting. It seems like he wants to be in control of stuff, or at least feel like a God, and of course creating something would make him feel like that.

He's actually a very good artist and will paint/draw you if you ask him. He also uses you as his muse.

Eli doesn't listen to music that much, so he doesn't really have a fav genre. He'll listen to whatever you listen to honestly.

He isn't that big of a fan of TV, so just like music, he'll watch whatever you watch. Though he does like documentaries, especially about history.

The only movies he really likes are stop motion movies. There's just something about them that he loves so much. He also loves Tim Burton movies.

Random:

His favorite color is red.

His favorite holiday is Halloween. Even though there's nothing wrong with the holiday, his family never celebrated it since they were insanely religious. Since he moved away, he's able to experience it! He loves it so much and dresses up every year. He'll do couples costumes with you.

Even though he doesn't listen to music that much, he really likes the song Solway Firth by Slipknot, and the meaning behind it.

He really likes cuddling. He may not seem like it, but he does.

He's cold and heartless to literally everyone else except for you. You're his soft spot. He loves you SO fucking much.

He acts like a 40 year old man even though he's in his mid twenties.

He is absolutely horrible with technology and you're constantly having to teach him how to do things.

[garfield-milk]

ok so my thoughts about the atla teaser

ok first of all, im actually crying (i wish i was joking) but purely because I'm so fucking autistic and the thought of new atla stuff makes me insane and no I have a whole show and we have a date and I heard the music and ITS ALTA AND IM A BIT INSANE LIKE LOOK AT THEM THEY ARE MY FAMILY

ok still crying about it and super excited but I'm gonna try to be objective. it doesn't look too bad. it's not great and I feel like certain things look too fake (cough appa and momo cough) BUT I don't think that that has to make it bad. it can look whacky and fit in and look alright if the writing and the filming is good. I feel like some of the costumes look like cgi but I'm not going mad about it.

I know some people might be against it but I love the actors, I think they fit really well their characters (still have to see them in action but just by vibes) ANDD zukos scar wasn't that bad right??? like in the promo pictured it looked way worst (??? idk I'm alright with it

really like the landscapes, they look cool. I still want to see how they are going to look on 'normal" scenes and not just a landscape shot tho.

AND SUKIIII!!!!!!!!! LOVE HER ALREADY (found it absolutely HILARIOUS THAT WHEN THEY BUT SUKI AND SOKKA TOGETHER THE VOICE IN OFF SAYS 'theres only one way to keep it straight' LMAOOOOO) not really sure how I feel about the costumes bc they feel both really overdone and cheap at the same time, it's making me feel weird idk

ok so, generally it doesn't look bad but it has a weird feeling. I'm going to watch it and hopefully love it but I'm 100% sure that it's going to be way better than the previous movie.

[missmajuu]

Under the Red Hood live brainrot 🥰

because I'm a very normal person who's very normal about Jason that definitely never refused to watch this movie out of fear what it would do to me

It's not opening with this right??? (It is in fact opening with brutally killing jason)

You can see the exact second he gives up :)

Already being a sarcastic drama queen, iconic

He's doing silly little summersults

there's the costume in a display case (I'm so fine)

also B definitely thought of Jason after getting taunted about failures and memories and then having the warehouse blow up :))

Alfred the passive aggressive king omg

Dick is fighting for one second of healthy communication Rip buddy it's only going to get worse

don't care about the argument or morals just kill the joker

like father like son both spying using the same technique lol

he really has a thing for explosives huh

insane move to just say Batman's real name, love it

THE TRANSITION TO THE CASE VILE VILE VILE

TO YOUNG ROBIN NOOOO

he is so happy :(((

traffic light costume my beloathed <3

"Cute" <- I am going insane

not BACK TO BACK

HE PROTECTED B FUCK THIS <- I am insane

B you already know why are you testing the DNA YOU KNOW

ALFRED NO

the wave XD he's just a silly little guy

interesting interpretation of Ra's I like it

oh God this is where the mummy fanart comes from

not "his life and death was my greatest failure" I hate it

he would've never grown up to do wrong take that back

"My partner. My solider. My fault" IS AN ACTUAL QUOTE?!??

"im something you helped make" don't say that jason plsss, just put a bullet through his head and go to therapy

of course he takes off the helmet to hurt B

THE LIGHTNING TRANSITION

protect him at all cost

ah the classic "I wear explosives on my head like any normal person"

what bothers you more is also an actual quote??? HELP

if you never come back after killing the joker just let others do it Bruce omfg

this dramatic shit is why he's my favorite character

he saved him

of course he's still alive cowards

flashbacks should be illegal

"this is the best day of my life" what if I became the joker HUH

Hated this 1.000.000/10 I'll be on ao3 crying

[noir-renard]

Okay so stop me if you've heard this one before, but I'm really happy to see the long-overdue recognition Goncharov is getting now (just in time for the 50th year anniversary too!)

BUT! Something I haven't seen anyone talking about is the 1987 stage adaptation of Goncharov, which is really too bad because it is ICONIC.

Like, okay, it's been a few years since I took American Theater History, but Goncharov was doing things no one else was doing. It did things no one has done since. This was a transformative adaptation to the point where it deserves to be recognized as its own thing.

I don't think I can possibly encapsulate everything this play is and accomplished so I'll focus on a few things, but I recommend looking up Taylor & Francis Contemporary Theatre Review for some articles on Goncharov (the play).

So, first of all, they had A Different Actor play Goncharov in Every Scene (*almost every scene, we'll come back to that). That in itself is absolutely buckwild, like this should have been a relatively inexpensive play to produce (small cast, minimal set, small stage, etc etc) but there were at least twenty four Goncharovs, possibly more. No one actually knows how many actors played Goncharov during its full run because they kept rotating the cast, but some estimates number in the hundreds; but there were never more than 24 during each performance. InSaNe, right?

But it doesn't stop there. See, the various Gonchs didn't wait backstage for their scenes, oh no. They sat in the audience. Pretending to be the audience, but was it really pretend? I really wish I could have been a fly on the wall for opening night. You arrive, you're excited to see this timeless film classic on stage (Theater purists will tell you stage theater is always better). The opening scene happens (you know the one lol), and you think, okay, this is fine, they're playing this by the book.

AND THEN THE GUY SITTING NEXT TO YOU WHO CAME WITH HIS WIFE STANDS UP AND WALKS UP TO THE STAGE, TAKES GONCHAROV'S HAT, COAT, AND TIE, DOES THE COSTUME CHANGE ON STAGE, AND STARTS THE NEXT SCENE!!

(and then the opening scene actor comes and sits down next to you, taking Gonch II's place, awkwardly squeezing past in the tiny seats to sit, asking you if he missed anything while he was in the bathroom??)

So you're confused, but the play is still going so you try to focus. Andrey is acting like everything is the same. Goncharov II makes a phone call to Ice Pick Joe, and he doesn't say he's ordering a hit, but you've seen the movie, you know what's up (this will be important later stay with me).

So there's another scene change, and sure enough, someone else gets up from the audience, walks to the stage, does the costume change, continues the play as if everything is normal and fine.

And this happens 23 times.

Now, you might think this is a novelty and that even if no one who watched the play talked about it to anyone who hadn't seen it, if you went back for a repeat viewing you'd know what to expect. But get this: they changed the order of the actors every night. And where they sat. And how they were dressed when they were part of the audience. So. Even if you knew it was going to happen, there was no way to predict exactly how it would happen!

Okay, so, I need to talk about the costume change on stage bit. Like, sure, kind of neat, but we all know there's a repeated motif in the film of Goncharov trying to fix his tie (symbolic of the "noose of time" tightening around his neck) but he never gets it quite right until Andrey fixes it for him.

And they did this in the play, too, but with a twist. See, up until the Andrey Ties The Knot Scene (lol subtle much), the Gonch who was leaving the stage would put the hat, coat, and tie on the new Gonch. So of course it wasn't quite right, all of these actors were built really differently! (Incredible costume design credit has to go to Nana Hastings here, like I don't know how she made the Sisterhood of the Traveling Goncharov work on stage but by god did she make it work)

Okay ajsjsjsb I keep getting sidetracked. Anyway. When Andrey fixes the tie and coat for the Goncharov on stage, this is, in fact, the final "actor" change. There are further scene changes, but now there's no one getting up from the audience anymore. And if you've seen the film, then it dawns on you: the Goncharov on stage is the one Andrey is gonna kill. Notably, the play reordered things a bit so the Katya Betrays Goncharov scene already happened before Andrey Ties the Knot, and the Gonch she tried to kill was a different Actor (yeah yeah symbolism of who you can show your truest self to we've all seen it).

So, back to the Andrey Ties the Knot scene (it's really important can I live). You might remember the argument that happens at the beginning of this scene in the movie. Well, in the play, the argument happens closer to the end. So if you know what's coming, the tension is building and building, and then the iconic line: Goncharov yells "how can you claim to understand me? To know what I want? To promise to give it to me? You don't even know who I am! I don't even know who I am!" Which, chills. But you see, at this moment, all the Goncharov Actors who've returned to sitting in the audience all stand up and yell the final line of this monologue with the Goncharov on stage. SO WILD. can you even imagine what that was like? You're so engrossed in the drama that you've forgotten the woman sitting next to you was on stage during scene 3. And now she's standing up and yelling! What's going to happen next??

Well. You know the line. Andrey sighs fondly, walks up to Goncharov, and says "I know you." And fixes Goncharov's tie.

And then it's intermission.

You're getting a snack in the lobby, and it's 1987 so you don't have access to a phone to tell your Goncharov Discord Server what you just witnessed. And what's going to happen next?? You still have half the play! (Or ⅓, at least!) But all that's really left is the betrayal scene. How are they going to stretch it out? You can't wait to see.

Intermission ends, you go back to your seat. It opens with Katya and Sofia. Ah, you think, so they've gone with the 'faked her death' interpretation. But then you notice the clock—which is front and center on the stage at all times during the play—has been set back. Is this a memory, then? A dream?

The question is never answered, but then Ice Pick Joe comes on stage and physically changes the hands himself. You see him get a phone call. You remember this—from the other end of the line. Goncharov is calling a hit. Ice Pick Joes accepts the hit. Hangs up. Walks to the clock. Moves it forward an hour, and leaves the stage. Another Katya scene, but she's changed into summer clothes. An actor you've never seen is on stage with her—this is her father, before he died. A death she feels responsible for.

The scene ends, Ice Pick Joe again. Same deal—a phone call from Gonch. He accepts the hit, and moves the clock forward. The next scene is an Andrey and Katya scene. There's so much subtext, it's hard to follow. Are they flirting? Plotting? Do they hate each other?

Ice Pick Joe again.

Now, at this point you start to notice something. There are fewer people in the audience than there should be (it was a small Blackbox theatre that got torn down in 1993, so I couldn't find any good photos, but it was small enough that you'd notice people missing).

You then realize that the ones going missing are the actors who played Goncharov. And then you see a pattern: every time Ice Pick Joe takes a call, an actor disappears. What does it mean?

This is never actually given meaningful resolution in the play, by the way, and the director refused to elaborate. What does it mean to you? Is all he'd say on the matter, but no one knew that while they were watching. Anyway I had to mention it because it's one of the wilder things this play did.

So there's all these out of time scenes staggered with Ice Pick Joe (until he dies RIP), and we "catch up". It's the final betrayal. Andrey is going to kill Goncharov, and everyone knows it, including Goncharov. "I never thought it would end like this." "You never were good at imagining happy endings," says Andrey. (I know you mouthed the lines don't lie no one can resist)

Andrey pulls the trigger, lights out—

When the lights come back up (RED LIGHTS) there's no body onstage, just the Goncharov costume. Andrey picks up the tie, the hat, the coat. He puts them all on. And he walks off stage.

AND THATS THE END OF THE PLAY. We don't see Goncharov actually die. We have no idea what happens to him. (When I tell you people have argued about this for decades, I mean it.)

The house lights turn up, you look around and see how empty the theater is. How many of the audience members were actors? You don't actually know. There is no curtain call. You walk out into the lobby in a daze, and all the actors are there, chatting. "Wild play, huh? I'm not sure I quite understood it, to be honest," they tell you. None of them break character. They are committed to the bit.

One of them tells you he enjoyed your performance. You think it might be Scorsese himself, though possibly it's Matteo JWHJ0715 in the flesh. Or maybe it was just another theater go-er trying to sound smart. Who knows?? Not you.

And that's Goncharov (1987), off Broadway in a nutshell.

It unfortunately only ran for a year because as it turns out, the theater owner had actual ties to the real mob and had to flee the country, and no one knew legally whether the play could run or if the theater counted as evidence—but that's another story.

The cast and crew of the play refused to move to a different theatre, though whether that was out of loyalty or fear, who can say?

[halothenthehorns]

Chapter 13: I TAKE A PERMANENT VACATION

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it! This is a depressing freaking chapter to infuse the holiday with, lol.

For everyone else, I hope you enjoy your day and your life and your year and the hour you spend reading my insanity!

PJOPJOPJOPJO

Nico read the new chapter title with a sense of ill. The idea of running across Percy's ghost had come to him plenty in the darkest parts of that maze, he'd been convinced for months at a time those would be his only friends. The one who had gotten Bianca killed had himself died in his own Greek tragedy of trying to come after him and becoming lost in a place Nico was slowly conquering, but Nico would find his wandering spirit and nurse him back enough to guide him to where he needed to go.

The idea that Percy might have died in this volcanic eruption and he didn't even get a hint of knowing that disturbed him slightly less than his old creepy thoughts about how his part in this would end, so he tried to read like it was any other.

"Oh hell," Magnus yelped. "Are we finally going to get an explanation for how you wound up down here? Are you permanently sleeping with the fishes? Did someone," he cut his finger across his throat with sound and everything.

"I don't think I'm actually dead," Percy studied his still trembling hands with uncertainty though, patting absently at his shirt and pants too to make sure it was real.

"And it wouldn't explain the rest of the books?" but Jason's sounded more like stacked questions, because really none of this made to much sense given they had no answers to start with outside of a gods will.

"As far as I'm aware, you are not actually dead," Thalia managed casually enough, but she dreaded this chapter more than anyone. Calypso was not a myth she'd ever dealt with personally, and she knew all she'd be hearing while Nico read was Annabeth's desperate voice through their connection begging her to help find an answer other than the obvious. She'd been prepared to go down to Tartarus and drag his soul back to get that look out of her little sister's eyes.

I woke up feeling like I was still on fire. My skin stung. My throat felt as dry as sand.

"The fact that you still have feeling is the impressive part after being a literal comet," Will told him with a kind of critical, stern tone like he thought Percy was still tempted to try again.

"The kind that only comes around in one lifetime," Percy assured.

"Hopefully they don't name anything after it, or worse, you get some kind of crazy superpowers from it," Alex offered.

"Or worse, aliens." Magnus agreed.

"Why would there be an alien free riding on my comet?" Percy asked.

"I don't know, just seems like every sci-fi movie comes with aliens masquerading as comets," he shrugged.

"My life is weird enough without adding bad costumes and CGI," Percy sighed.

I saw blue sky and trees above me. I heard a fountain gurgling, and smelled juniper and cedar and a bunch of other sweet-scented plants. I heard waves, too, gently lapping on a rocky shore. I wondered if I was dead, but I knew better. I'd been to the Land of the Dead, and there was no blue sky.

"The fact that that is a more normal sentence than you, a child of the sea, not waking up on the beach more regularly, really says something about your life," Magnus couldn't help but inform Percy.

"Who would want to wake up with a sunburn every day?" Percy shrugged. "Plus, that sand really does get everywhere. Nah, I'm good."

Apparently only normal people, Magnus sighed as he answered himself.

I tried to sit up. My muscles felt like they were melting.

"I hear to much exercise will do that to you," Will said wisely.

"And here I thought the more obvious punchline was global warming. We must save the planet, think of the Percy," Nico snickered.

"You're all missing the obvious joke that Percy is clearly an evil green witch in disguise," Thalia chuckled.

"I was just half cooked alive like a lobster, can't I get a pass on all this?" Percy smiled knowing the answer.

"No," they all laughed.

"Stay still," a girl's voice said. "You're too weak to rise."

She laid a cool cloth across my forehead. A bronze spoon hovered over me and liquid was dribbled into my mouth. The drink soothed my throat and left a warm chocolaty aftertaste. Nectar of the gods. Then the girl's face appeared above me.

She had almond eyes and caramel-color hair braided over one shoulder.

She was...fifteen? Sixteen? It was hard to tell. She had one of those faces that just seemed timeless. She began singing, and my pain dissolved. She was working magic. I could feel her music sinking into my skin, healing and repairing my brain.

"Who?" I croaked.

"Shhh, brave one," she said. "Rest and heal. No harm will come to you here. I am Calypso."

"It's nice she came out front with her name," Magnus said. "But huh?"

"If they start by introducing themselves, they're probably going to be very powerful and more fun to defeat," Alex rubbed his hands together in excitement.

"I already feared for my life enough without that, but thanks," Percy sighed.

The next time I woke I was in a cave, but as far as caves go, I'd been in a lot worse.

"I mean, compared to the cyclops cave where Grover was being held hostage, a bear cave sounds like a vacation too," Jason nodded.

"Does the underworld count as a giant cave?" Magnus asked.

"Um, yes?" Nico admitted.

"We did not go into a cave on your last adventure, but you've been mostly underground in this one to make up for it, so I'd say you are a credible enough person to judge this," Thalia nodded sanctimoniously.

Yet in all this talk, Percy's empty hand tingled as if Annabeth had brushed against him, wanting to lock her fingers through his. She had a habit of holding his hand in places like this, but she sure wouldn't be this time, some part of him knew.

The ceiling glittered with different-color crystal formations— white and purple and green, like I was inside one of those cut geodes you see in souvenir shops. I was lying on a comfortable bed with feather pillows and cotton sheets. The cave was divided into sections by white silk curtains.

Against one wall stood a large loom and a harp. Against the other wall were shelves neatly stacked with jars of fruit preserves. Dried herbs hung from the ceiling: rosemary, thyme, and a bunch of other stuff. My mother could've named them all.

"You haven't said anything about Sally being into gardening," Nico said in surprise, though he well remembered that flower box he'd once appeared next to.

"She knows them from cooking, not much of a hobby she can keep up with in the middle of the city to grow her own," Percy said with a wistful kind of smile. He wanted that for his mom. He bet Poseidon would have granted her a whole biome of nature if she asked. Just tap on the bathroom door three times or something, and poof, a hidden world she'd love to be part of.

There was a fireplace built into the cave wall, and a pot bubbling over the flames. It smelled great, like beef stew.

I sat up, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in my head. I looked at my arms, sure that they would be hideously scarred, but they seemed fine. A little pinker than usual, but not bad. I was wearing a white cotton T-shirt and cotton drawstring pants that weren't mine. My feet were bare. In a moment of panic, I wondered what happened to Riptide, but I felt my pocket and there was my pen, right where it always reappeared.

"I'm starting to wonder if there's even a limit on what that pen won't come back from," Jason looked more than impressed while he had that critical look on his face again. "If you threw it into outer space would it still come back?"

"I don't currently have any friends with a rocket ship to test that theory, but I'll let you know," Percy shrugged, holding his pen tight to him now just in case Jason wanted to try for himself.

Not only that but the Stygian ice dog whistle was back in my pocket, too. Somehow it had followed me. And that didn't exactly reassure me.

"Yeah, me either," Alex heaved a great sigh of remorse, and he really wanted Quintus and his dog to be a good guy. "Maybe he's trying to be like Chiron, he came across as a creepy stalker at first too."

"Hopefully," Percy wouldn't turn down another cool mentor who gave him good advice and cool gifts, but he was still too suspicious to really hope it would work out.

With difficulty, I stood. The stone floor was freezing under my feet. I turned and found myself staring into a polished bronze mirror.

"Holy Poseidon," I muttered. I looked as if I'd lost twenty pounds I couldn't afford to lose. My hair was a rat's nest. It was singed at the edges like Hephaestus's beard. If I saw that face on somebody walking down a highway intersection asking for money, I would've locked the car doors.

"Percy, you don't have a car," Nico told him.

"My mom's car doors just doesn't give the same ring to it," Percy rolled his eyes, fighting the urge, and losing it to sag in his seat with remembered exhaustion. Thalia was looking like an awfully comfortable prop right now.

Magnus kept his lips tight shut about that. He never spent much time looking in a mirror for a few years now, but he was pretty sure he'd looked that bad before Hearth and Blitz found him.

I turned away from the mirror. The cave entrance was to my left. I headed toward the daylight.

The cave opened onto a green meadow. On the left was a grove of cedar trees and on the right a huge flower garden. Four fountains gurgled in the meadow, each shooting water from the pipes of stone satyrs. Straight ahead, the grass sloped down to a rocky beach. The waves of a lake lapped against the stones. I could tell it was a lake because...well, I just could. Fresh water. Not salt. The sun sparkled on the water, and the sky was pure blue. It seemed like a paradise, which immediately made me nervous. You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.

"Are you telling me I'm most likely to die at a Pottery Barn?" Alex demanded.

"Paradise probably isn't even subjective enough to argue," Thalia agreed with a sigh. "We half-bloods can die somewhere like a dog park or a freaking mall."

"The only paradise we have is places where monsters aren't, and then we inevitably attract them to that place," Jason frowned. "What kind of paradox is that called?"

"Shit, does that make this place a utopia?" Magnus groaned.

"Well this is just getting more depressing the longer it drags on," Nico reminded, and he wasn't even the one causing it. He kept reading loudly and decided he'd blame the book, and Percy's life, rather than himself on the continued trend.

The girl with the braided caramel hair, the one who'd called herself Calypso, was standing at the beach, talking to someone. I couldn't see him very well in the shimmer from the sunlight off the water, but they appeared to be arguing.

"I really don't think it's just a joke when I say Percy attracts fights everywhere he goes, even to a tropical paradise," Will shook his head in exhaustion.

"Task failed successfully," Percy hoped. "They can keep that up while I escape I'm sure." He hadn't felt trapped though, he vividly remembered that. His feelings of this island were more dreamlike than any memory yet given back. Like that old apartment he used to live in with his mom, maybe the few short years before Gabe had come along. A home he could never go back to, but some part of him would always want to.

I tried to remember what I knew about Calypso from the old myths. I'd heard the name before, but...I couldn't remember. Was she a monster? Did she trap heroes and kill them? But if she was evil, why was I still alive?

"All excellent questions," Jason sighed.

"Percy will get answers to all of them as he's running for his life I'm sure," Alex offered, which made nobody feel better.

I walked toward her slowly because my legs were still stiff. When the grass changed to gravel, I looked down to keep my balance, and when I looked up again, the girl was alone. She wore a white sleeveless Greek dress with a low circular neckline trimmed in gold. She brushed at her eyes like she'd been crying.

"Well," she said, trying for a smile, "the sleeper finally wakes."

"If he's Sleeping Beauty, does that make Annabeth Prince Charming?" Magnus snorted.

"Percy sleeps enough to fulfill the role," Thalia chuckled with amusement, "and Annabeth would rock a horse and sword if she needed to."

"I would rather get to the monster killing me part than indulge this further," Percy groaned, or he was going to be suffering kiss of life jokes and endless Halloween costume ideas for days.

"Who were you talking to?" My voice sounded like a frog that had spent time in a microwave.

"What a noble frog, putting up with that to be such a comparison to you," there was nothing but dread in Nico's voice though as he tried not to wonder how Percy knew that.

"Science lab got weird during the dissection class, you don't want to know," Percy shivered.

"Oh...just a messenger," she said.

Will snorted softly, though he felt bad he was the only one who got the joke. Nobody else read that deep into it.

"How do you feel?"

"How long have I been out?"

"Time," Calypso mused. "Time is always difficult here. I honestly don't know, Percy."

"You know my name?"

"Not a shock anymore," Magnus grudgingly admitted. He wished it still were, but the days of Medusa creeping him out for a multitude of reasons were in the past, and that one had never even been able to rank to high considering everything else.

"You talk in your sleep."

I blushed. "Yeah. I've been...uh, told that before."

"How nobody's ever tried to smother you for that I will never know," Thalia said with her own mystified face. The few times she'd slept around Percy, they'd been out in the open taking turns keeping watch for each other, so she'd never had to actually try and fall asleep to his nonsense.

"Yes. Who is Annabeth?"

"Oh, uh.

Percy's brain fried and short circuited in his head like another volcano had gone off. He would be more surprised if steam wasn't coming out of his ears. It would take him less time to say who Annabeth wasn't...

A friend.

He exhaled in relief at how well that summed it up, glad he'd been to tired back then to even try and articulate anything else as his lips still felt more prominent on his face than they ever had before.

We were together when—wait, how did I get here? Where am I?"

Calypso reached up and ran her fingers through my mangled hair. I stepped back nervously.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I've just grown used to caring for you.

The others were oddly quiet, clearly trying to judge for themselves how much they believed her sincerity. She'd had ample opportunity to hurt Percy true, but for all they knew she was just lulling him there and keeping him from getting back to full strength until Luke showed up. She could be slowly sucking the life out of him. There was just no telling what motive could be going on or who she was arguing with until it was to late.

As to how you got here, you fell from the sky. You landed in the water, just there." She pointed across the beach. "I do not know how you survived. The water seemed to cushion your fall. As to where you are, you are in Ogygia."

She pronounced it like oh-jee-jee-ah.

"Was the second jee really necessary?" Magnus huffed. "It feels like they're just being extra."

"No noun should be more than two syllables, it's just exhausting," Percy agreed.

"Your name is three," Thalia looked at him strangely.

"And I stand by what I said," Percy nodded.

"Is that near Mount St. Helens?" I asked, because my geography is pretty terrible.

"Sure Percy, it might be if you travel back in time or something," Will chuckled.

"Maybe I'll find them constructing the Statue of Liberty next door," Percy smirked.

Calypso laughed. It was a small restrained laugh, like she found me really funny but didn't want to embarrass me. She was cute when she laughed.

Percy felt a dull sense of dread thud in his chest, but again, it wasn't vicious. He didn't feel like ripping his heart out in fear it was attacking him. Just an aching feeling, a muscle he'd long since stopped using.

He watched as six pairs of eyebrows shut up around him now with a vague amusement as well. Magnus and Alex seemed immediately suspicious and weary what kind of spell he was being put under, whether he realized it or not. Jason and Thalia looked amused, like they were thinking how best to tell Annabeth about this for maximum teasing.

Will and Nico exchanged weary looks though. Not the, 'Oh Gods, Percy's about to die kind,' but the sort where they weren't sure if they wanted to know the outcome of this. Percy didn't talk about his time out there, and while it was interesting to get some first hand lore on this place, it was coming at a pretty personal cost to Percy.

Nico read swiftly, he didn't want to linger on this.

"It isn't near anything, brave one," she said. "Ogygia is my phantom island. It exists by itself, anywhere and nowhere.

"I wonder if there are other islands out there that can do a bit of both." Alex grinned. "You really didn't explore the Sea of Monsters enough to be sure there's not an island out there that's sometimes there and sometimes not."

"If I find a haunted ghost island that only appears during high tide, I'll call you," Percy promised. Mostly so he could blame Alex for its existence.

You can heal here in safety. Never fear."

"It's not himself he's afraid for," Jason muttered.

Percy heard, and grinned at him. It was a good feeling for at least a moment, to know your friends knew you so well.

"But my friends—"

"Annabeth," she said. "And Grover and Tyson?"

"Yes!" I said. "I have to get back to them. They're in danger."

She touched my face, and I didn't back away this time. "Rest first. You are no good to your friends until you heal."

As soon as she said it, I realized how tired I was.

Magnus still shivered with distaste as he waited for the shoe to drop. That this vacation was just another Hotel, and Percy was soon going to start forgetting everything that mattered to himself except this girl who he had no choice but to fall in love with because she told him that's what he needed to do, or maybe he'd start seeing puncture marks on his neck and this was another kind of vampire, like a subspecies of Kelli.

"You're not...you're not an evil sorceress, are you?"

She smiled coyly. "Why would you think that?"

"Well, I met Circe once, and she had a pretty nice island, too. Except she liked to turn men into guinea pigs."

"A sad fact that is such a major exception," Alex sighed.

"There's no such thing as the perfect utopia," Thalia agreed.

Calypso gave me that laugh again. "I promise I will not turn you into a guinea pig."

"Or anything else?"

"I am no evil sorceress," Calypso said. "And I am not your enemy, brave one. Now rest. Your eyes are already closing."

She was right. My knees buckled, and I would've landed face-first in the gravel if Calypso hadn't caught me. Her hair smelled like cinnamon. She was very strong, or maybe I was just really weak and thin. She walked me back to a cushioned bench by the fountain and helped me lie down.

"Rest," she ordered. And I fell asleep to the sound of the fountains and the smell of cinnamon and juniper.

Percy shivered. The kind of ghost breathing on his neck feeling. Because there was no sense of danger in him. And it was creeping him out.

Where was the adrenaline? Where was the fear and worry? Where was that sense that had guided him through all his past memories of what to trust and to know when he should be about to run?

He kept wanting to watch Thalia for some kind of hint he was missing something, but she seemed as somber over there as he felt. Like a long lost friend had died.

The next time I woke it was night, but I wasn't sure if it was the same night or many nights later. I was in the bed in the cave, but I rose and wrapped a robe around myself and padded outside. The stars were brilliant—thousands of them, like you only see way out in the country. I could make out all the constellations Annabeth had taught me: Capricorn, Pegasus, Sagittarius. And there, near the southern horizon, was a new constellation: the Huntress, a tribute to a friend of ours who had died last winter.

Nico did not like himself for the distaste he had of those words... Why didn't Bianca get a whole constellation? It was Zoe's choice to go on this quest and be slated for death the moment she heard that prophecy, and his sister went in almost blind...

But Thalia was making some stupid joke at Percy about never seeming to find his own constellation and his sister probably would have been over there laughing with them without batting an eye at that passage. She probably would have smiled for her lieutenant.

"Percy, what do you see?"

I brought my eyes back to earth. However amazing the stars were, Calypso was twice as brilliant.

Percy had always wished Annabeth here from the moment he'd opened his eyes. He still did now, to know she was safe and away from volcanoes he'd exploded. He wanted to hear her explain to him already who Calypso was fully.

Most of all, he wanted to watch how she'd be reacting to this. If she was rolling her eyes at him, or jealous, or hurt, or uncaring at all.

He found himself watching Thalia, his best friend in here to figure out the same, but she seemed to be avoiding his eyes as she played with her bracelet. He didn't know what thoughts were plaguing her, and a part of him wondered if it had something to do with why Annabeth wasn't here and what she might know about that.

Or was it something simpler and she already knew the choice he felt stretching ahead of him?

I mean, I've seen the goddess of love herself, Aphrodite, and I would never say this out loud or she'd blast me to ashes, but for my money, Calypso was a lot more beautiful,

Nico winced and looked very much like someone was about to blast him to ashes just for saying that sentence. It would be just his luck to get obliterated into nothing because he'd said what Percy once thought and got away with.

There was a dramatic pause as everybody waited for it to happen, and when nothing did, Nico kept reading with an odd smile on his face like he got away with something.

because she just seemed so natural, like she wasn't trying to be beautiful and didn't even care about that. She just was.

Annabeth's like that too, Percy realized in surprise. Unlike Kelli, who was a terrifying kind of beautiful in her natural way of looking like Aphrodite actually did have a kid with Hephaestus, Annabeth always brushed her hair up into a careless ponytail and had dirt on her at any given time and didn't realize her own allure. The one time he'd seen her in a dress it had shocked him stupid. He was rather glad looking back he'd been a guina pig for that, it made it seem lesser, more like a dream than real memory of how alien perfect she'd been.

With her braided hair and white dress, she seemed to glow in the moonlight. She was holding a tiny plant in her hands. Its flowers were silver and delicate.

"I was just looking at..." I found myself staring at her face. "Uh...I forgot."

Nico heard some of them laughing around him, but it still sounded nervous, they were still waiting for her to sprout into a monster or reveal the 'gotcha' or something. Even knowing that wasn't the case, Nico and Will exchanged a tired look. The usual flippant, enjoyable energy just wasn't getting up in this chapter as they felt how confining this moment in Percy's life was. It didn't feel right to mock him when Percy looked isolated with his confusion over there.

She laughed gently. "Well, as long as you're up, you can help me plant these."

She handed me a plant, which had a clump of dirt and roots at the base.

The flowers glowed as I held them. Calypso picked up her gardening spade and directed me to the edge of the garden, where she began to dig.

"That's moonlace," Calypso explained. "It can only be planted at night."

I watched the silvery light flicker around the petals. "What does it do?"

"Do?" Calypso mused. "It doesn't really do anything, I suppose. It lives, it gives light, it provides beauty. Does it have to do anything else?"

"I suppose not," I said.

"Sounds to me like it's doing plenty," Alex agreed. Not every plant had to poison or cure something, nourish or indue. Things just existed without a purpose, which was their purpose.

She took the plant, and our hands met. Her fingers were warm. She planted the moonlace and stepped back, surveying her work. "I love my garden."

"This is a very odd evil plan," Magnus found himself scratching his head the longer this dragged on. "Is she trying to turn you vegan? Is her ultimate goal to use you as fertilizer?"

"Grover might not bother to rescue me if so," but Percy's smile was lackluster at best. He was growing less convinced by the word this was some trap at all, but this was a Greek legend, he knew that much. He was still waiting for the bad part to show up.

"It's awesome," I agreed. I mean, I wasn't exactly a gardening type, but Calypso had arbors covered with six different colors of roses, lattices filled with honeysuckle, rows of grapevines bursting with red and purple grapes that would've made Dionysus sit up and beg.

"Ah, I see," Jason theatrically clapped his forehead. "They caught the wrong demigod. This is supposed to be a trap for a child of Ceres."

"You've been eating there, haven't you?" Magnus confirmed. "Is this like an underworld situation? You're imprisoned forever because you ate from this awesome place?"

Percy pressed his lips together as that sense of longing only grew. He couldn't find in himself to play along. Imprisoned. Maybe it wasn't him who was on the permanent vacation really.

"Back home," I said, "my mom always wanted a garden."

"Why did she not plant one?"

"Well, we live in Manhattan. In an apartment."

"Manhattan? Apartment?"

"Oh, well, maybe she's not evil after all," Will chuckled. "It's common knowledge all people who are associated with big cities are evil. Clearly, having never even heard of the concept, she's immune to this. Purely innocent and good in her hide-a-way pasture."

"Aren't most horror movies out in the boons where nobody can hear them scream?" Nico asked. Quite a few kids asked if he was born out there enough to make him look up what they were getting at.

Will opened, and closed his mouth with a laugh instead of answering.

I stared at her. "You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?"

"I fear not. I haven't left Ogygia in...a long time."

"Well, Manhattan's a big city, with not much gardening space."

Calypso frowned. "That is sad. Hermes visits from time to time. He tells me the world outside has changed greatly. I did not realize it had changed so much you cannot have gardens."

"Why haven't you left your island?"

She looked down. "It is my punishment."

"You know Percy, I'm starting to suspect your luck is bad enough to get roped into somebody else's bad luck," Jason admitted. Nothing bad had happened yet, and judging by his silence over there and nobody nearly dying, he was beginning to suspect this wasn't going to be that kind of chapter.

"As long as she doesn't take her punishment out on me," Percy's heart was doing an odd beat in his chest. A thudding, painful number that hurt to concentrate on. Calypso, her name kept swimming around his mind like a piranha that was well fed but shouldn't be ignored. There was just something about her that had nothing and everything to do with Annabeth he was missing.

"Why? What did you do?"

"A classic Percy," Thalia sighed. "A classic boy. Blunt as an arrow to the face."

"I've never used a boxing glove arrow," Percy grinned.

"I? Nothing. But I'm afraid my father did a great deal. His name is Atlas."

"How many kids did this guy have?" Magnus asked in surprise.

"That's like asking how many kids Zeus had. You're just happier not trying to count them all," Thalia sighed.

The name sent a shiver down my back. I'd met the Titan Atlas last winter, and it had not been a happy time. He'd tried to kill pretty much everyone I care about.

"I mean, that's most evil people you meet," Nico said fairly. "I don't know what happy times involves trying to kill people."

"Maybe if Calypso had been there instead of Zoe things would have gone better," Alex snorted. "Girl should have opted a jailbreak for her half sister before the quest."

"I don't think there was really time for that," Thalia reminded with a strained smile. She didn't think it inherently insensitive to laugh about Zoe's past decisions, gods knew she'd done enough of that herself, but it wasn't a topic she wanted to continue to discuss either.

"Still," I said hesitantly, "it's not fair to punish you for what your father's done. I knew another daughter of Atlas. Her name was Zoë. She was one of the bravest people I've ever met."

Calypso studied me for a long time. Her eyes were sad.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Are—are you healed yet, my brave one? Do you think you'll be ready to leave soon?"

"What? I asked. "I don't know." I moved my legs. They were still stiff. I was already getting dizzy from standing up so long.

The fact that he could stand up for any length of time and wasn't sprinting and threatening to get out of there still gnawed at something in Percy. Something about this place, this girl. He wanted to help her, to stay, and it was nothing evil or magical making him. Just Calypso was enough.

"You want me to go?"

"I..." Her voice broke. "I'll see you in the morning. Sleep well."

She ran off toward the beach. I was too confused to do anything but watch until she disappeared in the dark.

"No, that's a classic Percy," Jason couldn't comprehend how Percy hadn't interrogated this girl to know everything about what was going on by now. He was the dopiest, deadliest guy Jason had ever met, and he was quite positive of this fact not even remembering anyone outside this room.

I don't know exactly how much time passed. Like Calypso said, it was hard to keep track on the island. I knew I should be leaving. At the very least, my friends would be worried. At worst, they could be in serious danger. I didn't even know if Annabeth had made it out of the volcano. I tried to use my empathy link with Grover several times, but I couldn't make contact. I hated not knowing if they were all right.

On the other hand, I really was weak. I couldn't stay on my feet more than a few hours. Whatever I'd done in Mount St. Helens had drained me like nothing else I'd ever expected.

Nico could hardly believe the words out of his own mouth. If he hadn't already been struck repeatedly in here that Percy wasn't the guy he'd dreamed he was, this more than anything put the final nail in the coffin. Percy had the motivation to go home, he'd always done everything up to this point by his driving factor being to help others.

He just, was choosing not to this time. It wasn't even a big heroic sacrifice, he had no idea of Calypso's curse yet. He was just, hesitating, and Nico found himself fascinated what had made Percy leave. Had he been unable to put down the mantel of the hero? Had it been Annabeth?

I didn't feel like a prisoner or anything. I remembered the Lotus Hotel and Casino in Vegas, where I'd been lured into this amazing game world until I almost forgot everything I cared about. But the island of Ogygia wasn't like that at all. I thought about Annabeth, Grover, and Tyson constantly. I remembered exactly why I needed to leave. I just...couldn't.

And then there was Calypso herself.

She never talked much about herself, but that just made me want to know more. I would sit in the meadow, sipping nectar, and I would try to concentrate on the flowers or the clouds or the reflections on the lake, but I was really staring at Calypso as she worked, the way she brushed her hair over her shoulder, and the little strand that fell in her face whenever she knelt to dig in the garden. Sometimes she would hold out her hand and birds would fly out of the woods to settle on her arm—lorikeets, parrots, doves.

"You fell into a fairy tell land my friend," Magnus told him. "I bet she turns into an ogre, or a dragon or something once you decided to stay."

Magnus wasn't really kidding, but Percy laughed like he was anyways. That didn't feel like the right answer either. Nothing had felt like the right thing to do since he'd blown up that volcano.

She would tell them good morning, ask how it was going back at the nest, and they would chirp for a while, then fly off cheerfully. Calypso's eyes gleamed. She would look at me and we'd share a smile, but almost immediately she'd get that sad expression again and turn away. I didn't understand what was bothering her.

"She's using reverse psychology on you and makes you think she wants you to leave while really wanting you to stay," Alex joined in.

Percy blinked at him. Something in there finally did feel like an answer, but twisted. She was no manipulator, he knew that, felt that in his memory like his instinctive trust of Thalia.

One night we were eating dinner together at the beach. Invisible servants had set up a table with beef stew and apple cider,

"Is that all she had to eat there? Is that the secret torture?" Will frowned. "Also, where does the cow part come from?"

"She's making those special veggies that taste like beef," Nico snickered.

"Maybe Hermes delivers her yearly rations she can't grow, like toilet paper," Thalia smirked.

which may not sound all that exciting, but that's because you haven't tasted it. I hadn't even noticed the invisible servants when I first got to the island, but after a while I became aware of the beds making themselves, meals cooking on their own, clothes being washed and folded by unseen hands.

Magnus threw his hands up in exasperation. "This is officially the best vacation ever. Can I blow up a volcano too Percy?"

"Not without following the proper steps by sitting through a sex ed class, being chased by Telkehines, and nearly dying." Percy shrugged.

"Geez, I might still consider it," Magnus huffed at this luxury.

Anyway, Calypso and I were sitting at dinner, and she looked beautiful in the candlelight.

"If you mention how pretty this girl is one more time, I might have to revoke your crush on Annabeth," Jason snorted.

Percy brushed at his gray bangs, his stomach in knots. He wished he had some snippy rebuttal for that, but he was disturbingly silent.

"People can have a crush on more than one person Jason, broaden your mind," Alex finally chuckled into the awkward silence.

Thalia was studying her best friend with those electric blue eyes. She'd been really relieved to see him at the beginning, like he'd been missing for a long time. Is this where he'd been? Was she angry with him having taken to long to come back?

I was telling her about New York and Camp Half-Blood, and then I started telling her about the time Grover had eaten an apple while we were playing Hacky Sack with it. She laughed, showing off her amazing smile, and our eyes met. Then she dropped her gaze.

She was scared, Percy tried to put into words that expression, but that didn't quite fit right. She wasn't telling him something about this place, and if he could not resist one kind of torture, it was temptation.

"There it is again," I said.

"What?"

"You keep pulling away, like you're trying not to enjoy yourself."

"You probably scared her with that story Percy," Magnus rolled his eyes. "I might still have nightmares about Grover using a mega-goat bite on me if was drinking apple cider."

"I don't think she could have nightmares on that island," Percy frowned. He certainly hadn't been having any. The more he thought about it, the more he realized it was oddly similar to their current prison. Invisible servants, all the food one could eat, the company was mostly tolerable when they weren't annoying. He still missed Annabeth, his mom, Grover and everyone like a physical ache, but there was nothing stopping him from refusing to relearn his memories, hide in a room and stay here forever. The idea was just loathsome if he thought about it for more than a second.

It hadn't been there though. There had been something about Calypso, the constant rest he got. The problem with staying on vacation for to long was that it made going back seem harder than it had before.

She kept her eyes on her glass of cider. "As I told you, Percy, I have been punished. Cursed, you might say."

"How? Tell me. I want to help."

"Don't say that. Please don't say that."

"Tell me what the punishment is."

He wanted to help her, Percy finally realized the obvious. Once he found out how to help break her curse, he could leave with a clear conscience. Of course, it seemed obvious now. This place probably played exactly into one's fatal flaw. He might have just met her, but he could have been life long friends with someone like Calypso.

She covered her half-finished stew with a napkin, and immediately an invisible servant whisked the bowl away. "Percy, this island, Ogygia, is my home, my birthplace. But it is also my prison. I am under...house arrest, I guess you would call it. I will never visit this Manhattan of yours. Or anywhere else. I am alone here."

"Doesn't sound like much of a punishment," Alex muttered. He preferred being alone, all people did was disappoint and judge you.

"Maybe for one lifetime, but all of them?" Magnus frowned. He never would have made it on the streets without Hearth and Blitz. He missed the boy he used to play with who always stopped running too fast when he had to grab his inhaler. He missed being in the back of a class reading and ignoring the teacher until he had his book taken away and then begrudgingly laughing and playing a game of tic tac toe with a random kid in detention. Maybe he'd learn why they were there, maybe they'd just sit in silence together. The idea of never being allowed around another soul again sounded like a curse to him.

Alex heard all of that in his short question, and sighed as he practiced signing the alphabet to himself in random order.

"Because your father was Atlas."

She nodded. "The gods do not trust their enemies. And rightly so. I should not complain. Some of the prisons are not nearly as nice as mine."

"I guess she heard what her dad's going through," Jason said in agreement.

"It's, nice, the gods took it easy on a random kid," Will tried to say in his usual upbeat way, but he wasn't so sure how confident he was of that. He didn't actually know what crime Calypso had committed other than support and what that entailed, yet he'd heard plenty of the gods unjust punishments for lesser things.

"But that's not fair," I said. "Just because you're related doesn't mean you support him. This other daughter I knew, Zoë, Nightshade—she fought against him. She wasn't imprisoned."

"But, Percy," Calypso said gently, "I did support him in the first war. He is my father."

"Ah," Magnus said in understanding as the final piece of it all fit into place.

"One man's vacation is another man's punishment huh?" Alex said with distaste, though for Calypso or the gods nobody was sure.

"What? But the Titans are evil!"

"Are they? All of them? All the time?"

"I've yet met a good one," Magnus said in disgust.

They weren't inherently evil, Nico knew though as he toyed with the edge of the page. Iapetus the Impaler had been cleansed of his family ties and come out as Bob, an innocent who willingly helped. Luke was a child of the 'good guys' and yet he was leading the rebellion. What made good and evil was not an answer he was privy to no matter how many ghosts he talked to about it.

She pursed her lips. "Tell me, Percy. I have no wish to argue with you, but do you support the gods because they are good, or because they are your family?"

I didn't answer. She had a point. Last winter, after Annabeth and I had saved Olympus, the gods had had a debate about whether or not they should kill me. That hadn't been exactly good. But still, I felt like I supported them because Poseidon was my dad.

"And we're back to that whole corruption of infinite cosmic power business," Alex scowled.

"It's more like a few really rotten apples and some bad tempers that need work?" Will offered with a hopeful smile. He could easily understand Percy questioning such a thing, it would have made less sense if he never had. Things had been getting better since Percy demanded of the gods his reward to prevent this all happening again though, some of them had even come around a bit for a brief time before Dionysus mysteriously stopped being there.

"Perhaps I was wrong in the war," Calypso said. "And in fairness, the gods have treated me well. They visit me from time to time. They bring me word of the outside world. But they can leave. And I cannot."

"You don't have any friends?" I asked. "I mean...wouldn't anyone else live here with you? It's a nice place."

"I bet those Hesperides would, sit around and shit talk about half-bloods all day. She might like to hang out with her half sisters," Thalia sounded reluctantly sorry for her. A maiden trapped alone in this eternal place struck a particular cord in her, one strong enough for her to ask if her punishment might ever be lifted. If she asked Artemis to let her join the hunt, would that be an insult to the gods original punishment? Thalia might even consider hiding Jason away on this island once they got out of here while she figured out what had happened to him if this underwater place didn't work out long term.

A tear trickled down her cheek. "I...I promised myself I wouldn't speak of this. But—"

She was interrupted by a rumbling sound somewhere out on the lake.

Percy groaned, a painful sounding noise deep in his chest that usually meant they should all duck and hold their breath for something disastrous about to happen.

It wasn't like that this time. Percy was angry with himself, and this situation, and no one set thing. The ocean sloshed all around them like somebody shaking a jar as he shifted around to try and get comfortable in his seat with no clear ending in sight.

A glow appeared on the horizon. It got brighter and brighter, until I could see a column of fire moving across the surface of the water, coming toward us.

"Because at this point why wouldn't aliens show up," Magnus frowned.

"Why is that your first thought?" Jason looked at him like anything left could be a strange sentence in here. "It's more likely Mercury is popping in again. Maybe he decided to use a pillar of flames this time."

"Haven't you heard stories about aliens appearing as columns of light?" Magnus asked in amusement. "I know this guy on Beacon Street who swears up and down he saw them while flying in WWII, described them just like this. I bet he'll think I'm just as crazy if I tell him it was just a god passing by."

"We're all a little crazy in some ways," Alex cheerfully reminded.

I stood and reached for my sword. "What is that?"

Calypso sighed. "A visitor."

"She doesn't seem that thrilled about it?" Alex frowned, which was weird right? Shouldn't she be jumping for joy when anyone shows up if she's so lonely? She had been cut off though, about to offer Percy something, and it wasn't particularly hard to imagine what.

As the column of fire reached the beach. Calypso stood and bowed to it formally. The flames dissipated, and standing before us was a tall man in gray overalls and a metal leg brace, his beard and hair smoldering with fire.

"Lord Hephaestus," Calypso said. "This is a rare honor."

Will scratched absently at his chin as he said, "yeah, I imagine so. Like I'm trying to think of a scenario where she's ever even met him." If he so rarely visited anyone, why would he go to this random girl. Did he study her plants to make machines out of them?

"Maybe a child of Hephaestus has landed there before," Nico shrugged. She probably hadn't met every god, he doubted they were all kind and sporadic enough to visit on their own and she probably only knew of them through the random demi god kids who passed through.

Thalia kept the thought to herself she was a prisoner because of the war she'd been in to the two. It was plenty likely Calypso knew of every Olympian because she'd had her turn to try and kill them all, possibly by learning of their favorite foods and practicing poisions even. Who knew what she'd been up to back then before coming there.

The fire god grunted. "Calypso. Beautiful as always.

"If I hear how beautiful this girl is described one more time, I'm shaving her head," Alex rolled his eyes. "Aphrodite wasn't praised this much. Annabeth isn't praised this much!"

Nico lost his composure and burst out laughing hard while Percy sighed at the pair of them. They didn't get it, they hadn't seen her in person.

Would you excuse us, please, my dear? I need to have a word with our young Percy Jackson."

Percy felt immediately humbled and worried. Was this about Annabeth?!

Hephaestus sat down clumsily at the dinner table and ordered a Pepsi.

"I wonder if he ever goes to a restaurant, and they tell him they only have coke, and he just like, changes reality to make it so they only have Pepsi now," Magnus frowned.

"I thought it would be simpler, like he just breaks their machine so no soda is carbonated," Will admitted.

"You're both evil for taking it out on the soda," Percy told.

The invisible servant brought him one, opened it too suddenly, and sprayed soda all over the gods work clothes. Hephaestus roared and spat a few curses and swatted the can away.

"Stupid servants," he muttered. "Good automatons are what she needs. They never act up!"

"I do not believe him in any way, shape, or form," Thalia scoffed.

"I think he needs a tune-up in his mind," Percy agreed.

"Hephaestus," I said, "what's going on? Is Annabeth—"

"She's fine," he said. "Resourceful girl, that one. Found her way back, told me the whole story. She's worried sick, you know."

Percy made such a sigh of relief that he cleaved out a gap of air in front of him that made a terrifying noise as the water snapped back into place.

Nico kept reading over him like he heard his life about to end every other day while the others rubbed their ears.

"You haven't told her I'm okay?"

"That's not for me to say," Hephaestus said.

Magnus shivered deep in his seat. He longed to be there for her, how alone she must feel right now. Was she back in the maze by herself? Marching into Daedalus' shop ready for murder because she thought she'd lost her best friend? He had nothing to offer her but his companionship and still couldn't even give that as he sat uselessly in place.

"Everyone thinks you're dead. I had to be sure you were coming back before I started telling everyone where you were."

"Everyone, everyone?" Jason asked critically. "Like Neptune? Who exactly was asking Vulcan where you were?"

"It wouldn't surprise me if some of the gods kept an eye on his quest and knew Hephaestus was the last god he'd seen," Thalia reminded with a scowl. Like Hera, she'd probably been keeping tabs on him enough to know he'd gone missing.

"What do you mean?" I said. "Of course I'm coming back!"

Hephaestus studied me skeptically. He fished something out of his pocket—a metal disk the size of an iPod. He clicked a button and it expanded into a miniature bronze TV. On the screen was news footage of Mount St. Helens, a huge plume of fire and ash trailing into the sky.

"Still uncertain about further eruptions," the newscaster was saying. "Authorities have ordered the evacuation of almost half a million people as a precaution. Meanwhile, ash has fallen as far away as Lake Tahoe and Vancouver, and the entire Mount St. Helens area is closed to traffic within a hundred-mile radius. While no deaths have been reported, minor injuries and illnesses include—"

Hephaestus switched it off. "You caused quite an explosion."

Percy's hand leapt to his mouth like he was going to try and hold in another scream. He just looked so ashamed Thalia instinctively leaned over and hugged him. He cautiously returned it, but his hand stayed in place, the guilt in his eyes more plain than the dark water around them.

It wasn't okay, Thalia knew as she leaned back, and she didn't say as much. Percy looked as torn apart as if he wanted to evacuate his own body, that volcano might as well have erupted inside of him and then proceeded out to the lava.

I stared at the blank bronze screen. Half a million people evacuated? Injuries. Illness. What had I done?

"I-" but Percy couldn't say how sorry he was. He couldn't see the others around him, if they looked at him with fear now. All he could feel was that dormant power in him, the one he touched every other page in here it seemed. Even now he couldn't get a handle on his emotions, his capabilities. Perhaps this place wasn't a punishment at all, but a place to learn why he should be kept away from others.

He'd always been a really bad student though.

Thalia slugged him on the shoulder and said, "and this is why boys should be kept at the bottom of the ocean! I bet if you'd gone to visit the Cyclops forges too you'd have a handle on this, it's all your dad's fault really." Like she wasn't massively speaking from experience her dad had never given her any help on her chaotic powers either.

Will and Nico were muttering away about something as usual, the book held casually in Nico's hand, the kid who had once made the dead vanish without thought and nearly taken the camp with him. Alex was lounging in his seat waiting for things to keep going while Magnus and Jason just looked reserved for the worst.

They'd all been dealing with him nearly killing them since they got in here. This vast showing of his powers didn't surprise a one, it was just a part of who he was. It wasn't a great part of him, but Percy sighed and knew what Annabeth would tell him to do once she was done strangling him for making her think he was dead. All he could do was build a better foundation next time. He had to work on getting control.

"The telekhines were scattered," the god told me. "Some vaporized. Some got away, no doubt. I don't think they'll be using my forge any time soon.

"Oh look, he got what he wanted out of it," Alex scoffed.

"Not exactly a win, win, scenario," Percy muttered. Why couldn't the gods have shown up to stop the volcano from erupting and saved all those people?

For the same reason they hadn't voted to kill him he supposed. They had their own plans, own agenda, other things better to do with their infinite time than worry about him right this moment. A part of Percy still hoped he'd asked his dad to make a few anonymous donations to help... somehow. He didn't even know, he just knew his next prayer to his dad as he scrapped food off his plate would be for this.

On the other hand, neither will I. The explosion caused Typhon to stir in his sleep. We'll have to wait and see—"

"I couldn't release him, could I? I mean, I'm not that powerful!"

The god grunted. "Not that powerful, eh? Could have fooled me. You're the son of the Earthshaker, lad. You don't know your own strength."

Percy felt a horrible pressure deep in his chest at a god telling him that. He'd taken on Ares and come out the other side without a scratch.

His friends didn't see him as a god though. Thalia was nothing but sympathetic beside him. "I've hardly touched my powers since I caused this massive storm once, nearly tore a whole city apart the news later blamed on a hurricane." She admitted. "I don't often need them more than just the minimum with the Hunters. You're still coming into it Percy."

Chiron had warned him of this, way back when, but he still felt like he didn't fully grasp all he was.

That's the last thing I wanted him to say. I hadn't been in control of myself in that mountain. I'd released so much energy I'd almost vaporized myself, drained all the life out of me. Now I found out I'd nearly destroyed the Northwest U.S. and almost woken the most horrible monster ever imprisoned by the gods. Maybe I was too dangerous. Maybe it was safer for my friends to think I was dead.

Thalia fought off the urge to smack him with the greatest of restraint. "That's not for you to decide who we hang out with Percy!"

"You've said yourself what a bad influence I am," Percy said with a reluctant tease.

"You're a pain in the ass who I would never trade away for some boring kid who couldn't blow up a volcano," she huffed.

Percy was rubbing at his arm like she had tried to pummel him, and Magnus couldn't stand watching him beat himself up. Percy had been a good friend to Annabeth, and to him this whole time. It wasn't his thing to say really, but he didn't really think Hearth would begrudge him offering to Percy, "hey, listen, Hearth's told me about how strange it is to hate a part of your own body. Just because it's something you can't control in yourself doesn't make it a bad thing, just something to live around."

"Hearth's not going to blow up half a continent because he doesn't know what he's doing," Percy said sullenly, his eyes on the floor. He assumed anyways. What did he know about elves?

"I might," Nico wasn't to happy about reminding. "Thalia might. Would you want us to stay on an island?" He was very confident of the answer he got, enough he didn't feel any major emotion at still knowing who Percy was. Percy didn't want him, his answer would be the same no matter who's name he'd given.

"No," was of course his automatic response.

"Then you're not that special," Thalia happily concluded.

"How do you think I feel?" Jason agreed. "I couldn't begin to guess what I'm capable of until it erupts out of me too, gods knows what form it'll take since I can't begin to guess at my parentage."

Thalia kept her face very straight to hide her continued guilt over leaving him in the dark on that. He'd know soon enough when she figured out for herself all the answers she could give him. She was not like her father, keeping him at arms length until she was ready...

"You can blame your dad if you need someone to be accountable for this," Alex said in that calm, confident way as he absently played with a strand of green hair. The pale amber eye glittered with a secret, while the dark brown one seemed heavy and tired. "Don't let that excuse you from practicing what you have to all its might though."

Percy rubbed his fingers together, still unsure how much he could let himself agree with that. What would happen one day if he went all out, who would get caught in the crossfire next...

"What about Grover and Tyson?" I asked.

Hephaestus shook his head. "No word, I'm afraid. I suppose the labyrinth has them."

"So what am I supposed to do?"

Hephaestus winced. "Don't ever ask an old cripple for advice, lad. But I'll tell you this.

"Don't ask me for advice but here's some," Alex rolled his eyes.

"No wonder his machines always go haywire, I bet their coding is just as sporadic," Magnus agreed.

"You guys have got to stop saying that kind of stuff," Will said with a nervous laugh. "Just because a god hasn't popped in here yet to kill us doesn't mean they won't."

"Pssh, we've got Percy," Alex brushed off.

Percy blushed. He wasn't sure if Alex meant he was a bigger threat, or he would get between whatever god got annoyed with their commentary. He considered both true.

You've met my wife?"

"Aphrodite."

"That's her. She's a tricky one, lad. Be careful of love. It'll twist your brain around and leave you thinking up is down and right is wrong."

"Never have I said truer words," Nico muttered for himself. It perfectly explained why he always felt...everything he'd ever felt.

I thought about my meeting with Aphrodite, in the back of a white Cadillac in the desert last winter. She'd told me that she had taken a special interest in me, and she'd be making things hard for me in the romance department, just because she liked me.

"And I still haven't forgiven her for that," Percy scowled, now fully suspecting his time with Calypso was a part of this.

"Um, be grateful she doesn't seem to be sending random guys to Annabeth's house?" Magnus offered, but he knew how unhelpful that sounded.

Percy didn't seem to think much of it either, his mind swiveling to Luke and always worried what he was up to.

"Is this part of her plan?" I asked. "Did she land me here?"

"Possibly. Hard to say with her.

Percy made an exhausted noise. He had a headache again and he wasn't even trying to pressure himself to remember what his decision had been. He just knew what it was going to be now. If Aphrodite had put him here, he had to leave. There had never been a choice, just more manipulation by the gods he was helping to win this war. Like a dog doing its job for the reward every night of a good bed and food.

His family was more than that to him though, he instantly regretted his thought as he played with his clay beads. He was picking the winning side not because any god had told him to. His choice was clear. If Kronos won, his family wouldn't.

But if you decide to leave this place—and I don't say what's right or wrong—then I promised you an answer to your quest. I promised you the way to Daedalus. Well now, here's the thing. It has nothing to do with Ariadne's string. Not really. Sure, the string worked. That's what the Titan's army will be after. But the best way through the maze...Theseus had the princess's help. And the princess was a regular mortal. Not a drop of god blood in her. But she was clever, and she could see, lad. She could see very clearly. So what I'm saying—I think you know how to navigate the maze."

"You're going to bring your mom in there?" Magnus asked like he was nuts.

Alex smacked him on the back of the head, and he yelped in surprise before he realized, "oh shit, Rachel."

"There you go," Alex nodded.

"Wow, I've never seen someone literally smack sense into someone," Thalia snickered. "If only it worked on you," it was no guess who she redirected that at.

"Try it Tinkerbell, I will eat your storms for breakfast," Percy smirked. Thalia laughed, mostly out of relief he was trying to pull himself out of his funk.

It finally sank in. Why hadn't I seen it before? Hera had been right. The answer was there all the time.

"Who would have thought of that?" Jason demanded. "Nobody would have thought, hey the girl that can see through mist should go down into the crazy dangerous dungeon and see if she can see...oh. No wait. Yeah it sounds kind of obvious when you put it like that."

"Everything is clearer with hindsight," Will snorted. "I should start carrying a flashlight on me, just in case I ever need to shine it on something already fully lit."

"A UV light," Nico added. "That way we can put secret stamps only we'll know to find."

"Brilliant!" Will cheered.

Nico smiled and shook his head in exasperation he seemed fully jazzed about this joke...but the temptation was there to really do it. Go back into that maze and put up some secret clue or path to let a half-blood know others had been here, and they'd gotten out. So no kid would be trapped in there alone again.

"Yeah," I said. "Yeah, I know."

"Then you'll need to decide whether or not you're leaving."

"I..." I wanted to say yes. Of course I would. But the words stuck in my throat. I found myself looking out at the lake, and suddenly the idea of leaving seemed very hard.

Percy didn't often feel the need to kick everybody out of the room so that he could have some personal privacy, but this. This was definitely one of those moments.

Thankfully, it went without commentary. Not even judgy silence. Percy finally guessed what that reserved look on Thalia's face was. The same one she often had when she stared at her tree to long. Nobody could force him to go back, he had to want to. He could have stayed there and maybe Annabeth would have joined the Hunters after all or anything else that could have happened. He didn't though, he knew that about himself. Nobody had made Thalia take a stand on that hill, but her spirit had lingered in that tree instead of vanishing long ago, enough of her had wanted to come back the fleece could work its magic on her.

"Don't decide yet," Hephaestus advised. "Wait until daybreak. Daybreak is a good time for decisions."

"Will Daedalus even help us?" I asked. "I mean, if he gives Luke a way to navigate the Labyrinth, we're dead. I saw dreams about...Daedalus killed his nephew. He turned bitter and angry and—"

"It isn't easy being a brilliant inventor," Hephaestus rumbled. "Always alone. Always misunderstood. Easy to turn bitter, make horrible mistakes. People are more difficult to work with than machines. And when you break a person, he can't be fixed."

Percy thought of Luke. His broken body at the bottom of that mountain, his crooked smile slashing that sword at him. He knew Hephaestus didn't mean physically fixed.

Though a cyborg would be a lot cooler to fight.

Hephaestus brushed the last drops of Pepsi off his work clothes. "Daedalus started well enough. He helped the Princess Ariadne and Theseus because he felt sorry for them. He tried to do a good deed. And everything in his life went bad because of it. Was that fair?" The god shrugged. "I don't know if Daedalus will help you, lad, but don't judge someone until you've stood at his forge and worked with his hammer, eh?"

"He gives pretty good advice for a god who doesn't want to," Jason chuckled.

"I'll—I'll try."

Percy wanted to laugh that off, pretend he'd never have a clue where Daedalus was coming from...but his dad's words from that party he hadn't died at came to mind. How Luke had once been Hermes's pride and joy and look how far he'd fallen.

Percy had spent a lot of time in here wondering at how useful the gods were, how he'd be better off without their constant interference, this of all treacheries putting such a choice in front of him just to see how he'd react.

He didn't have to try anymore to get where a good deed could make you feel punished for the rest of your life. He'd tried to stop an army of monsters from recreating Kronos's full blade and blown up a volcano with his hammer. Daedalus was not perfect, he'd done many a horrible things, but if he was stuck in some punishment now Percy would have to help get him out of, he would without hesitation. Not because they needed him for this quest, but because the gods shouldn't get to decide anybody's eternal fate.

Hephaestus stood. "Good-bye, lad. You did well, destroying the telekhines. I'll always remember you for that."

It sounded very final, that good-bye. Then he erupted into a column of flame, and the fire moved over the water, heading back to the world outside.

"I just like to imagine all of Hephaestus's goodbyes are like that," Will said as cheerfully as ever. "The gods never fully expect to see us again. They blink and it's been a hundred years and oops, that guy died of old age I think."

Percy often thought this guy was a goofball. Nobody could be that naturally happy all the time, he had to be faking it at least every other smile. Not this time though. Will had been in this world longer, he'd had siblings to stay up late laughing about this with.

I walked along the beach for several hours. When I finally came back to the meadow, it was very late, maybe four or five in the morning, but Calypso was still in her garden, tending the flowers by starlight. Her moonlace glowed silver, and the other plants responded to the magic, glowing red and yellow and blue.

"He has ordered you to return," Calypso guessed.

"She'd like that, wouldn't she," Alex sounded blunt, but not cold. "The perfect way to make you stay."

Percy laughed, even though they both knew it was no joke.

"Well, not ordered. He gave me a choice."

Her eyes met mine. "I promised I would not offer."

"Offer what?"

"For you to stay."

"Stay," I said. "Like...forever?"

"You would be immortal on this island," she said quietly. "You would never age or die. You could leave the fight to others, Percy Jackson. You could escape your prophecy."

I stared at her, stunned. "Just like that?"

She nodded. "Just like that."

"But...my friends."

Nico was still adjusting to the feeling of admiration he had for Percy from when Percy had discovered he was a child of Hades and declaring himself the prophecy child. Percy took on the role of leader and responsibility so easily and naturally in a way he shared with Thalia Nico felt nausea over just the idea of.

But it wasn't the power that propped him into the position. It was the people around him he willingly led. Percy hadn't wanted to go back to camp to be the hero, he'd gone back because of them.

No matter how messy his shadow traveling ever got or what near-death experience he might find himself in, Nico was confident he'd never wind up on this island. Calypso would never fall in love with someone like him, but even still he stared absently down at the book for a few lingering moments. It was probably silly to think if he'd even be invited to stay, what reason he'd have to go back.

He wouldn't have had one before he got thrown into this room.

Calypso rose and took my hand. Her touch sent a warm current through my body. "You asked about my curse, Percy. I did not want to tell you. The truth is the gods send me companionship from time to time. Every thousand years or so, they allow a hero to wash up on my shores, someone who needs my help. I tend to him and befriend him, but it is never random. The Fates make sure that the sort of hero they send..."

Her voice trembled, and she had to stop.

I squeezed her hand tighter. "What? What have I done to make you sad?"

"They send a person who can never stay," she whispered. "Who can never accept my offer of companionship for more than a little while. They send me a hero I can't help...just the sort of person I can't help falling in love with."

"Huh," Alex couldn't help but sound admirable. "Somebody got really creative with that curse."

"Can we not compliment someone who tormented someone else for more eons than you can name," Jason sighed for this poor girl.

"I can admire the structure of a building without wishing it would fall on someone," Alex assured.

"Besides, this is Percy here." Magnus grinned. "You can't convince me he's not going to find some way to sneak this girl out. I bet he comes back through the labyrinth connecting to this place and gives her that freedom."

"Does she deserve it though," Alex raised a challenging brow. "She's not a victimless kid here. Who knows what she did to earn a life sentence. The gods are more than capable of just putting her right back and then deciding to destroy the labyrinth to suit their needs if he does."

Magnus looked intently at Alex as he considered debating that. Atlas felt like he deserved that life sentence because of what he'd done to Annabeth and Zoe, but the cruelty of his punishment came with no end in sight. It didn't feel right for these all-powerful beings to smite out immortal punishments that lasted longer than a lifetime.

Nico kept reading, and Magnus didn't get into it right now because he was still an atheist at heart, and had a great distaste of any 'justice system'. These gods were mighty but flawed beings to him, but it was an endless debate that had no resolution they should have to have someone to be accountable to.

The night was quiet except for the gurgle of the fountains and waves lapping on the shore. It took me a long time to realize what she was saying.

"Me?" I asked.

"If you could see your face." She suppressed a smile, though her eyes were still teary. "Of course, you."

The brief laugh that echoed around the room fell on deaf ears to Percy. He felt like he was still processing her warm brown eyes and the smile on her face for the first time. She was the kind of girl he bet his mom would have wanted him to settle down with, a nice normal girl who would garden with him all day and never flee a school on fire with him. The kind of girl who wouldn't have to hide her knife from Paul Blofis and have to explain why she might be on the run from some monsters.

His mom loved Annabeth, Sally Jackson had always nurtured his creative side and had never ordered him around, but this was the girl his mom would have wanted him to pick, he was sure of it.

And he wouldn't have agreed with her.

"That's why you've been pulling away all this time?"

"I tried very hard. But I can't help it. The Fates are cruel. They sent you to me, my brave one, knowing that you would break my heart."

"But...I'm just...I mean, I'm just me."

"And what's so wrong with that Percy?" Thalia chuckled with a glint in her eyes that spelled trouble. "It seems more than enough to get you by."

Panic shot through him as he thought Thalia was talking about herself for a moment, before her eyes darted to Nico and he laughed supremely awkwardly. He had no idea if Annabeth still loved him outside of a single memory he had of her that seemed to get more wildly out of context the more this went on. Nico had apparently fallen in love with him at some point too?! He even felt like he was still missing the obvious in someone. Now Calypso...Holy Poseidon, Thalia wasn't wrong, and he felt a tiny kernel of panic if Aphrodite really had placed some kind of curse on him.

"That is enough," Calypso promised. "I told myself I would not even speak of this. I would let you go without even offering. But I can't. I suppose the Fates knew that, too. You could stay with me, Percy. I'm afraid that is the only way you could help me."

I stared at the horizon. The first red streaks of dawn were lightening the sky. I could stay here forever, disappear from the earth. I could live with Calypso, with invisible servants tending to my every need. We could grow flowers in the garden and talk to songbirds and walk on the beach under perfect blue skies. No war. No prophecy. No more taking sides.

The truth was Percy could see how easy it would be to fall for someone like Calypso. Annabeth didn't need him, she was a better hero than him in nearly every way. She would probably figure out a way to convince Luke he was being stupid and stop being evil and this prophecy nonsense would be put off for another thousand years or so.

Calypso thought he was funny. She'd been alone for a really long time and needed help. He bet she'd help him build an awesome skate park and he could sit around all day doing things he'd always wanted to, like learn to play guitar and get an unbeatable high score. It wasn't so much that he wouldn't do it.

"I can't," I told her.

He couldn't spend his time waking up every day in a garden, blissfully happy. He couldn't sit around learning to weave and cook beef stew. He could not step away from his prophecy, his friends who needed him, no matter how much Calypso did too.

She looked down sadly.

"I would never do anything to hurt you," I said, "but my friends need me. I know how to help them now. I have to get back."

She picked a flower from her garden—a sprig of silver moonlace. Its glow faded as the sunrise came up. Daybreak is a good time for decisions, Hephaestus had said. Calypso tucked the flower into my T-shirt pocket.

Nico studied the book in surprise. He'd always greatly wondered why Percy had been rooting around and dumping his canteen in that flower box when he'd shown up. It had felt like a warding off gesture to him, considering how much Nico detested plants and Percy must have somehow known this. Instead, he now understood, it was just a very, very sad reminder at the hint of white that had sprouted up.

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed me on the forehead, like a blessing.

"Then come to the beach, my hero. And we will send you on your way."

It would have been easier if she'd argued with him. If she'd begged him to stay and cursed him and the gods out for doing this to her again and thrown a fit, ripping up her precious plants.

She was so kind. She'd accepted her life was just going to be like this, and endless cycle of heartache. She accepted her inevitable defeat.

It was that part of her that he knew he would never be happy with.

The raft was a ten-foot square of logs lashed together with a pole for a mast and a simple white linen sail. It didn't look like it would be very seaworthy, or lakeworthy.

"This will take you wherever you desire," Calypso promised. "It is quite safe."

I took her hand, but she let it slip out of mine.

"Maybe I can visit you," I said.

She shook her head. "No man ever finds Ogygia twice, Percy. When you leave, I will never see you again."

Some god owed him for this. Losing his memory, being trapped in this room. Reliving each and every moment of his past as raw and painful as ever.

He didn't know how, he didn't when, but he knew he would not let this be the case. It was a gut feeling. He would see her again.

"But—"

"Go, please." Her voice broke. "The Fates are cruel, Percy. Just remember me." Then a little trace of her smile returned. "Plant a garden in Manhattan for me, will you?"

"I promise." I stepped onto the raft. Immediately it began to sail from the shore.

Alex had never been to Manhattan, but he was pretty confident they had a plant conservatory garden, and he pretended he couldn't hear Percy's ragged breath for a moment as he instead vividly imagined security chasing Percy with pitchforks and trowels for trying to plant something.

As I sailed onto the lake I realized the Fates really were cruel. They sent Calypso someone she couldn't help but love. But it worked both ways. For the rest of my life I would always be thinking about her. She would always be my biggest what if.

"One even the Fates might not know," Thalia murmured gently. Not even the Titan's had been able to outsmart them. Percy had been the child of the Prophecy. Somehow, some way, he was always going to fulfill that role.

Did that mean there were paths even they couldn't see? A tapestry even they couldn't make? A world beyond the oldest beings?

Within minutes the island of Ogygia was lost in the mist. I was sailing alone over the water toward the sunrise.

Then I told the raft what to do. I said the only place I could think of, because I needed comfort and friends.

"Camp Half-Blood," I said. "Sail me home."

Alex couldn't help but break the tension like a firecracker. "What if you asked to go back to your mom's apartment? Would you appear in the bathtub?"

Percy laughed at this guys never ending sporadicness. It was genuine, but still a little sad as he watched Nico pass the book to Will.

He had somehow been taken out of time over four times in his life already. His life, his choices kept speeding past and around him, colliding with everyone around him whether he wanted them to or not. He could never have stayed on Ogygia anymore than he would willingly stay in this room...but somehow a part of him felt so disconnected from his own future as he floated out on that raft he couldn't begin to guess what came next.

PJOPJOPJO

This was a very big revelation chapter for little kid me. One of the very first instances of showing another point of view.

Reading this chapter, making me realize that Percy was not fighting for the 'right side', but the side his family was on. It wasn't just an obvious choice for good and evil anymore, it was the obligation of family vs duty, the first story this concept was ever introduced to me, and I'll always remember Calypso for that.

I will never understand people who hate Calypso for turning into a shrew by the time Leo comes around. This girl has been dealing with her curse longer than you can conceive of a timeframe, she's earned the right to be pissed and not nice anymore. She was at peace with it for as long as she could be, until she just couldn't handle it anymore. Can you imagine if a god popped in and delivered the news that Kronos was defeated once more and all the gods were now supposed to be taking more responsibility for their kids, and maybe even let slip that she should be let out of her punishment, and they just, didn't?

I imagine it being Demeter or something, all a flutter with excitement for all these new developments and then dropping this bomb, getting distracted by Calypso's beautiful begonias, and then cheesing it leaving Calypso in an understandably bitter future with her curse.

[crawlingbetweenearthandheaven]

guising; halloween, 2006

Kendall is starting to come back down to normality, and it's Halloween, and they are American tourists in Yorkshire. on the ao3 here or below

“Well,” Kendall says, fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket, “this feels pointed.” He breathes in and out deeply, like the doctor has told him to do. The house is dark and darkening as the clock creeps onwards. “I fucking hate when the clocks change.” He lights a cigarette and catches his finger on the flame.

Stewy looks at him from where he is doing makeup in the mirror. “Dude, it’s the most appropriate costume in the world. Even if the Brits don’t really do Halloween, and you’re chemically lobotomised –“

“It’s just the lithium,” Shiv tells Stewy, like he hasn’t read all the leaflets since the doctor left them all on the kitchen table and sat in the computer room until his head hurt reading miserable blogposts from poor people about their BIPOLAR HELL and reading about Byron and van Gogh and sobering-if-boring articles on suicide statistics and lithium toxicity and addiction issues and endless fucking misery. His eyes flicker to her, dressed in a red shirt and blue pinafore dress. She shows them what she has in her hands. “I could only find a cricket bat here, so – “

Roman snatches the cricket bat, gives her the axe he’s holding. “Let’s swap,” he says. “You’re way more likely to damage your kid or go insane and start seeing shit and –“

“I’m the one most likely to do that,” Kendall says, and it should be but he can’t bring himself to actually laugh. His siblings just look at each other as if he’s still manic, even if the lithium has brought him back to earth with a horrible lurching feeling and he’s so tired he feels rooted to the floor half the time. “Fuck, I must be crazy if Stewy’s talked me into this,” he tells his feet, shuffling them slightly.

“Vampires are the most appropriate costume for Stewy because he is the Vampire of Wall Street,” Roman says. He boggles his eyes. “Now I look the part,” he announces.

“I’m in private equity,” Stewy says.

Shiv snorts. “Same thing, isn’t it?”

Kendall looks in the mirror. He looks pale and bloated, like a corpse that has been in the water for three days. His eyes are bloodshot and his hands are shaking, but he’s wearing a black cape fashioned from a curtain.

“Where’s Connor?” he says, looking around. “He’s got my next dose, which I still think is fucking stupid and I can be trusted with all my meds and there’s no point in dressing up anyway because the Brits don’t do it and we’re not in college anymore and I don’t want to waste my time – “

“Kendall,” Stewy says, handing him a pair of plastic vampire teeth. “You’ve spent the past few weeks terrifying the life out of us. It’s our turn, don’t you think?”

Kendall shoves the teeth into his mouth too hard and his lip starts bleeding; he starts to worry at it with his tongue and his teeth until the blood runs down his chin. He watches it in the mirror, until Roman notices.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Roman says, and goes in search of a towel. They hear him muttering to himself about lunatics and idiot brothers and several homophobic slurs whispered too low to quite catch. Shiv starts to paint exaggerated eyelashes under her eyes. Stewy looks at Kendall in the mirror until he makes eye contact.

“You know I hate dressing up,” Connor says as he rounds the corner, tread heavy on the stairs. “You are all children –“ and he walks in and he is wearing his normal clothes. “I’m being Conor Roy,” he tells them, but he is trying not to smirk. "I am mentioned on Dad's Wikipedia page, you know. So I am notable - " Shiv rolls her eyes as if she has been practicing.

Roman walks back in with a teatowel, and scrubs too hard at Kendall’s chin. He licks his finger and rubs at the blood. “Is that weird?” he asks, pausing. “I saw it in a movie once,” and Kendall shrugs and shakes his head and tries to smile but feels hollow. He keeps thinking of all the empty shells that wash up at the seashore after a storm.

“What would Dad dress up as? He’d probably call it guising or something Scottish. Mum would say it’s a vulgar American import, right? Like watching television in bed or laughing at mealtimes,” Roman says, waving the cricket bat around his head.

“Dad would be the vampire,” Shiv says, and then laughs. “No, Dad would be fucking – that horrible painting with Saturn eating his son? Roman got obsessed with it last year when we got dragged round every gallery in Madrid.” She mimes a few times.

“As the art expert – “ Connor begins, but Kendall tries to laugh and makes a weird gasping sound instead until Connor shrugs and says something about Kendall’s “newfound admiration for the visual arts”.

As if Connor has not spoken, Shiv keeps talking. "He painted it on the wall of his house, remember? That's some Kendall shit right there. The crazy stuff. Spanish Inquisition - "

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" Connor interrupts, looking delighted.

"Fucking dork," Roman mutters under his breath. "I can see Dad being that painting, but only accidentally. Like oh, he just happened to accidentally acquire everything that mattered to a business venture, steamroll in with his name and his money, wreck it all - "

"He did do that accidentally," Connor says. "He told me, he had no choice but to buy in, because of the markets -"

Stewy closes his eyes for a second. “Going back to paintings, specifically Kendall's new one. Did we decide what to do about that? Does your dad know?” He takes several long sips from the whisky in his hand, opening his eyes and turning his head to look at Kendall.

For the first time in a little while, Kendall feels slightly turned on. He sniffs, wishes he had some water or vodka or wine. “He said it was fine and his guys will sort it and he’s glad I’ve got my head, uh, straightened out.”

“Does he know about you and Stewy? I – I still think it’s great, you guys,” Connor adds hastily, watching Kendall watching Stewy’s throat move as he swallows.

“He knows everything in a sort of five-eyes Bill-Gates fucking… KGB type way,” Roman says. “But he’s not mentioned it. I guess he might be waiting until he needs to use it,” he muses. He has put down the cricket bat and is drinking neat vodka.

“If he knew, I think he’d get one of his guys to talk me into killing myself,” Kendall says quietly. The truth of the words soaks into him and he feels hot and cold all at once. Stewy reaches out and takes his hand.