#the cuteness aggression is so real with him

[ghouljams]

I wanna do my own writing challenge but I am also a jokester and a buffoon, so...

Ghoul's "King Killer" Challenge (inspired by @391780 and @glitterypirateduck)

I want to see people kill König in absolutely insane and convoluted ways. I'm gonna be honest this is for the König lovers as much as the haters, you cannot tell me you love a character if you're not willing to explode them in your mind just a little bit.

Rules:

Please be 18+ to participate and tag me @ghouljams in your post. I'll put all posts onto a master list. Please tag your fics appropriately, and please no suicide or rape, these are meant to be comedic deaths.

This can be angst fic or this can be a background death in a different character fic, I just want that man dead. And most importantly I want it to be in an incredibly convoluted and stupid way. I'm providing what I call "dumb ways to die" prompts but honestly if the spirit moves you or you have an idea fucking go for it.

There's no real time limit on this but I'll give y'all June 16-23 as the golden zone.

"I want that man dead"

The second known case of spontaneous human combustion

Death rolled by an alligator

Eaten by hampsters

Fell out of bed too hard

Someone stuck their finger in his gun and it exploded looney toons style

His phone battery exploded while he was calling someone

Bit by a rabid animal

Turned into goo

Hit by a t-shirt canon

Tried to pet a bear

Testing a stab proof jacket gone wrong

Attempted to drive a fork lift

Tried to outrun a train

Attempted to rescue a chicken from a well

Tried to disassemble a grenade

Insisted he could literally walk on water(couldn't)

Snake coiled around his shotgun and ended up pulling the trigger

Attempted to demonstrate "unbreakable" glass

Tripped and fell into concrete

Shook a soda can too hard and it exploded

Fell out of a roller coaster seat

Ate a peach pit and got cyanide poisoning

Vicious mockery but in real life

Ate expired food

Tried to climb an electric fence

Smoking near blasting powder

Hit by a meteor

Attempted electrical work himself

Anal gone wrong

Anal gone right

Osha violation

Was watching the eclipse while driving

Sat too long in a sauna

Fell down stairs

Choked on own spit

Lawn chair balloon flight into controlled air space

Circus performance gone wrong

Attempted karate

Easily preventable causes

Flying hammer

"Be quiet silica gell packet, can't you see I'm starving?"

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing"

"You're not going to shoot me, you would've done it already"

"I saw someone do this in a movie once"

A legless lizard crawled somewhere it wasn't supposed to

Spiders

That evil bunny from Monty Python

Driving with both feet

Fell in a wood chipper

Attempted sword swallowing

So so bad at blowjobs

Overheated

The hubris of men

Too many pillows on his bed

Met a cryptid

Weather related accident

Walked into a pole

Falling piano

Siphoning gas

Bee sting

Mosh pit accident

Not wearing a helmet

Not watching where he's going

Fell in a hole

"Looks safe enough"

Antagonizing the crows

Ghosts

Cow tipping gone wrong

"No little german boy don't go in that cave"

Microwaving something

Rube Goldberg Machine

Dinosaurs

Time Machine

Shrink Ray

Building falls on just him

Dog farts (those things are deadly)

Crafting gone wrong

Jumanji

Cuteness Aggression (The cute thing is aggressive)

Vampire

Werewolf

Ink poisoning

A dog wags too hard and hits him with their tail

Slipped on a banana peel

Choking on a life saver candy

Electric car explodes

If none of these strike your fancy feel free to come up with your own convoluted and silly death for the man we all love (or love to hate)

[youryanderedaddy]

tw: female reader, non - con, sadism, hinted abuse

I'm thinking about the sweet sadistic type.

The way he pins you down and folds your body at whatever angle is convenient for him, completely disregarding those pained little yelps that tear your throat, or so you think. In reality he finds your broken gasps incredibly hot and would do anything to force more out of that cute little mouth despite your protests.

When you're so much smaller than him it's hard to see you as anything more than a defenseless plush toy - impossible to control the cute aggression that overtakes him at the sight of you when all he wants to do is pinch your cheeks and squeeze your thighs red, leaving fingerprints all over your body. He wants to bite your neck, to suck at your sweet spot for so long it stops being pleasurable and becomes unbearable instead - wants you to push at his chest and kick his legs just for the real helplessness to set in your brain.

When he takes you, he makes sure you're stretched, but never enough for it to be painless. Your captor finds sick satisfaction in the way your walls hug his cock all the way to your cervix, tight pussy throbbing in a pitiful attempt to adjust to his massive length - stretching you beyond your comfort. And when you finally cave in and give him those beautiful tears he loves so much, he's the first to caress your hot wet cheeks and kiss your puffy eyes. You're doing so well for me, sweet girl. Just bear with it for a bit longer. But it's never just a bit. He keeps rutting into you for hours, getting rougher and faster with each impending orgasm while you keep falling in and out of sleep, every time waking up to a sinister, lovesick gaze and a hand around your throat. Every time he's thrusting just a bit deeper, making your body jump and twist like it weights nothing.

He loves leaving bruises on you, although he would never admit it out loud. You look absolutely beautiful when you're bare before him, bashfully trying to hide the striking, undeniable proof that you're all his - the blue hickeys on your collarbone, the purple spots across your ass and thighs, the red marks all over your tits. It feels him with so much pride he always ends up pulling you in and kissing you with teeth, leaving a thin trail of blood down your chin. The things you do to me, baby. You really know how to set me on fire.

Still, he thinks you're the prettiest when you're crying. When he has just hit you and your cheek is burning, or when you hear your parents' names on the radio, and you let out those big, pearly tears, when you let your voice out after fighting your misery for so long. Shh, come here, babydoll. I know what will make you feel better. I'm going to give you lots of love until you forget about those pests from your past. Just try not to scream so much this time. You remember what happened last time, right? I would absolutely hate to see you hurt.

[grvyrd-drms]

riddle me this, batman.

i want to use toby as a toothbrush, the very feminine and masculine urge to shrink him put toothpaste on him and brush my teeth with him

anon i understand you more than anyone in the world right now

[maxsix]

[skitskatdacat63]

Roleswap anyone??

Tell me Fernando wouldn't make a fantastic general/emperor, and that Napoleon wouldn't make a fanastic driver/tp!!

[loganslowdown4]

Thomas: *posts this*

Me:

[blueeyeddarkknight]

Val's lil happy dance 😂❤️🕺

how can a man be so childlike and adorable like that?! 😭👶🏻

[lord-shitbox]

anyone else suffering from the same particular kind of brainrot. yes this is the result of exactly one kabru-centric episode

[sciderman]

Pete's such a goddamn fuckin nerd I don't know whether I want to wrap him in a blanket and give him a hot chocolate, or dunk his head in the toilet

PLLEAASE BE NICE TO HIM BE NICE TO MY BOY

[subsequentibis]

must say again that mgs3 ocelot is so so compelling to me. in my head he's the perfect little prodigy boy who has his position as a major at just 20 yrs old thru a combination of nepotism and real skill, real gifted kid who's excelled at everything he's ever tried, triple agent fooling absolutely everyone, trying out combat techniques he's only read or heard about in the field bc he knows he'll just Get it right away, and it's like partially true that he's very good but he's not That good, there's people pulling strings behind the scenes to get him there, but he doesn't see them and thinks he got this all by himself. and i need to put this smarmy little man in my mouth and shake him like a dog with a toy.

[noxx-33i]

Sword doodles... i loev.. himb...

[resssistance]

Happy 25th birthday to Shoma Uno! To all your smiles, and many more that are yet to shine. Thank you 💙

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Bruh... I slept through the whole piranha frenzy on Wally.

Whatever the rest of you are on, I don't wanna know. I can't even think of holding the little man's hand without freezing my brain cells, let alone take chunks off him. I'd apologize for scuffing his shoes and call him Mr. Darling and such.

Y'all wild. XD

i guess we're just built violentdifferent <3

[nonoqy]

💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋 MILLION KISSES FOR GEORGENOTFOUND

[shelli-gator]

James shaking in his little gay boots because he LOVES old men, he wants to take that bitch to the Antique Roadshow and sit with him on his arm smiling like he's winning big at a casino as he bids way too much money on a china tea set for him. Anything for his kitten. And they're gonna have the BEST fucking earl grey they've ever drank watching The Great British Bakeoff when they get home.

[nav-i-nav]

Guys I really hope you understand how much I love Omori. The character. He is the cutest little guy ever to me (he has and will kill again with no hesitation) (there is something amazing about characters who are childish/innocent but also act ruthlessly and even cruelly but it’s because is part of their nature) (he is not evil but his actions aren’t good either) (I love him)