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swedesinstockholm · 5 months

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8 avril

au bar l. était collée à moi et parfois quand on parlait tout le monde nous écoutait et ça me changeait de d'habitude puisque d'habitude je disparais dans un coin parce que j'arrive pas à ouvrir la bouche. r. m'a dit que lui non plus n'ouvrait pas la bouche en situation de groupe. ça m'a surprise. quand il m'a parlé de ses névroses j'ai pensé à ludvig, un jour dans sa chambre à umeå on avait dit qu'on pourrait faire un concours de qui est la/le plus névrosé.e mais que ce serait sans doute moi qui gagnerais. à la fin il m'a demandé si je trouvais qu'il avait trop parlé. j'ai pensé oui mais j'ai dit non. j'ai dit que j'avais l'habitude d'être celle qui écoute. mais même quand on parlait de moi j'arrivais pas à m'ouvrir comme lui. j'arrive pas à échapper à la force d'attraction du silence. c'est un peu comme cette histoire de gravité. je suis attirée par le néant. au moment où il s'apprêtait à partir un type m'a abordée pour me dire qu'il avait beaucoup aimé mon texte et puis il a vu r. et il a dit eh mais je te connais! t'es un super musicien toi! et ils ont commencé à discuter de musique et j'en ai profité pour m'échapper et rejoindre d. et c. qui discutaient d'écriture dans la cour.

je vois l. dans une heure mais tout ce que j'ai envie de faire c'est lui parler de r. pourquoi je suis comme ça. j'ai l'impression qu'on est restés assis sur cet accoudoir de canapé pendant des heures hier soir alors que tout le monde discutait en groupes dehors et que le bar se vidait petit à petit et l. et d. sont passés plusieurs fois pour nous dire qu'ils sortaient et lucie me disait d'aller chercher ma salade poke truc dans le frigo mais moi je restais clouée sur cet accoudoir de canapé à côté de r. qui me parlait de ses psys et de son père et de sa fille, le ventre trop rempli d'émotions pour manger quoique ce soit, j'ai même pas utilisé mon ticket boisson. il m'a dit qu'il buvait quasiment pas d'alcool non plus et à mesure qu'on discutait on se rendait compte qu'on avait vraiment un milliard de trucs en commun mais surtout j'avais bien le temps de regarder son visage rasé de près, sa fossette sur le menton, ses yeux qui me regardaient bleu-gris foncé comme la mer en tempête à la tombée du soir, hier matin avant que le jour se lève dans la voiture pour aller à l'aéroport j'ai aperçu un phare dans la pénombre. un vrai phare qui tournait en faisant des ronds dans la nuit. j'ai aussi vu la lueur rouge gigantesque de plusieurs éoliennes invisible qui devaient être tout, tout près de nous.

finalement j'ai pas osé parler de r. à l. ce soir. j'ai trop honte de mon comportement. de comment je m'accroche. de comment il est devenu mon monde. tout à l'heure l. a acheté des oeufs dans une épicerie et je l'attendais dehors avec son amie n. qui me montrait où prendre le tram pour rentrer et en regardant sur google maps je me suis rendu compte qu'on était à deux rues de la rue de r. et j'ai du faire une tête pas possible parce que quand l. est sortie avec les oeufs elle m'a demandé de quoi je m'inquiétais comme ça et j'ai dit rien et elle a dit c'est un secret? et j'ai dit oui. je me demande si elle a remarqué hier soir que j'étais amoureuse cul par dessus chaise. j'ai remonté la rue jusqu'au tram en chantonnant it's all for you de janet jackson, c'est devenu mon occupation préférée depuis hier, arpenter les rues de st. gilles qui sont dans un mouchoir de poche avec celle de r. en chantonnant.

hier matin j'ai marché plus d'une heure pour rentrer de la gare du midi en me chantant you're gonne be okay you're gonna be fine sur l'air d'une chanson de carole king parce que r. venait de me dire qu'il avait une journée chargée et je me préparais déjà mentalement à ne pas le voir, me sentant abandonnée sur tous les fronts parce que m. ne répondait pas à mes messages parce qu'elle était encore en train de dormir avec son copain après leur rave, et donc j'étais à la rue avec mon double denim et mon sac à dos rouge, lâchée par tout le monde, engloutie par les hipsters à mullet de flagey qui sortaient bruncher au soleil, déjà en train de regretter les retraités du grau d'agde. quand ils se sont enfin réveillés j'ai pu passer faire pipi et déposer mon sac avant que je sois de nouveau mise dehors parce qu'ils devaient se doucher, et puis en redescendant vers flagey je discutais avec r. qui m'a dit qu'il viendrait et m. et son copain m'ont rejoint pour aller bruncher dans un café rue lesbroussart et tout est rentré dans l'ordre. même si j'ai juste pris une babka au chocolat parce que tout était trop cher. de là je suis allée à la maison poème pour les répèts et quand j'ai rigolé en disant que je savais pas comment on prononce fjällräven une voix venue du noir m'a aidée et j'ai cru reconnaitre la voix de l. de paris mais j'étais pas sûre et j'étais tellement contente de la voir après.

9 avril

moins on fait de choses, plus elles sont grandes. j'avais noté ça sur mon téléphone dimanche matin. dimanche matin quand je suis arrivée à bruxelles je pensais à la plante devant la vitre de la salle d'embarquement de l'aéroport de perpignan, tranquille dans son coin avec la vue sur les avions garés sur le tarmac et les gens qui font la queue pour monter dans les avions et les agents de l'aéroport avec leurs habits orange fluo qui se tiennent en petit conciliabule sur le côté, chacun avec sa personnalité, y en avait un qui riait beaucoup à gorge déployée en se penchant en arrière, celui de la sécurité qui boitait légèrement et qui s'énervait contre des gens qui faisaient mal leur travail, le pilote de notre avion qui disait au revoir de la main au pilote de l'avion de paris qui démarrait sur le tarmac. je me suis dit que ça devait être bien d'être pilote. mais j'avais surtout envie d'être la plante de la salle d'embarquement.

oh oui être une plante et ne plus jamais tomber amoureuse d'un être humain. je vais jamais m'en sortir. ce matin je me suis réveillée avec une chanson douce de bob dylan qu'il m'envoyait, je l'ai écoutée au lit avec mes écouteurs en serrant ma couette contre moi et puis je lui ai écrit que si jamais il avait envie de se changer les idées ce soir j'étais là et quand il m'a répondu qu'il aurait trop aimé mais qu'il avait sa fille et une montagne de travail j'ai senti mon moral tomber comme une pierre. je me suis préparée pour rejoindre l. et c. au wiels en faisant la gueule et puis j'ai attendu le tram pendant douze minutes en faisant la gueule et j'ai fait la gueule en passant à son arrêt et puis l. et c. m'ont sauvée. je veux être plus comme l. et oser dire aux gens que j'ai envie de les voir. oser leur poser des questions. elle a posé plein de questions à r. et à la fille du bar de la maison poème par exemple. et elle a réussi à me faire parler avec c. b. je lui ai avoué que quand on s'était rencontrées à la soirée et caetera l'année dernière je l'avais trouvée trop intimidante pour lui parler. je lui ai parlé des choses qui m'empêchaient de venir vivre à bruxelles et j'avais pas envie de m'écrouler de honte parce qu'elle avait pas du tout l'air de me juger, elle avait même l'air de tout à fait me comprendre, je me sentais presque normale.

#stuff

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forever-yours-simdate · 1 year

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SFW Alphabet for Psy, if it hasn't already been requested

- Hana 👾

(HII KENI :) )

HIIII!!!

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

His affection is pretty mild. He's very pleasant and mostly expresses affection through doing things for others, and also verbally. Not very physically affectionate, but isn't opposed to physical affection. Will do a peck on a cheek and a hug or lingering touch, but mostly in passing.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Probably the best person you could be friends with out of the fy boys. He's mature and experienced in life, and very practical and calm. He doesn't get annoyed, patient, and is good being kind but firm. Good listener (while not completely attentive, registers 50% of it at least). If you love parallel play, and just hanging out at home, you'd love hanging out with Psy.

You're likely to befriend him through mutual friends, being friends with his coworkers, or knowing/being connected to his parents in some way. While Psy isn't shy, nor does he object to social interaction, he also very much keeps to himself. You'd have to do most of the talking, and if he's interested he'll engage.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Fairly neutral about cuddling. It doesn't bother him, and at times feels really nice, so he doesn't mind.

Likes sitting side by side and leaning on each other rather than more huggy cuddles, but also is okay with hugging cuddles.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

His main goal currently is to settle down with someone he loves, so he is very ready for it.

Very good with cooking and cleaning himself. Prefers to do it all for his s/o rather than have them help/trade off chores.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Honestly would have 200 steps before resorting to breaking up, but if he does he'd much prefer to give his s/o a lobotomy over actually break up. Maybe he'll joke he's "breaking up" with his s/o so they could get married, instead of dating.

Otherwise, he'll be just very straight forward, nice, but also stubborn. No "if"s, "and"s, or "but"s.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Re : Domestic, his main goal currently is to settle down with someone, so marriage is also a part of that. Although, it's not like he personally desires marriage, but rather is just a sensible "next step" to his life.

He'd like to take his time really learning about his partner to see if they're really someone he can take care of be with for the indefinite future.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

The most gentle and patient, it's something that comes to him naturally. However, he can be emotionally detached, which causes him to be extremely insensitive at times. He also has a tendency to dismiss issues, or simply "considers" the input of others, without the intention of actually taking what they say into consideration.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Likes them! Does them as frequently as he gets them.

His hugs are very gentle but firm, and sort of... all encompassing in a strange sense. He wraps his arms completely around the person, and maybe it's his hair getting in your face but it's a little... smothering. Usually does a little petting of the hair or rubbing/massaging if he's hugging his s/o, and ends the hug with a sweet peck on the cheek

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Says it clearly and slowly. He's actually pretty casual with how he says it... but when he says it tends to be pretty situational.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Not very jealous at all. He feels very secure in his relationship with his s/o (why would they need anyone else when he can do everything, and do it right?), so there's really no need for him to feel jealous.

On the off chance he does get jealous, he mostly tries to steer himself and/or his s/o away from the person/thing who's the source of the jealousy, reasoning they’re a bad influence.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are firm and confident, usually brief and casual, done in passing. Perfers to go for the cheek, but sometimes the forehead/head.

He likes to be kissed on the neck, mostly because it tends to catch him off guard, and it feels kinda... intimate, having to brush his hair out of the way first.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Very good with children, to the point that his coworkers wonder why he doesn't work in pediatrics. Very good at cheering them up when they're upset or hurt, and his organization skills make him good at managing schedules for them. Doesn't like how noisy they can be, though, but doesn't get upset with them for it.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Expect to be woken up with breakfast to be ready to be eaten, and chatting while they eat and talking about plans for the coming day. What errands need to be run, what chores should be finished, Dinner plans, social life stuff, etc. It's mostly him asking rather than answering, and making suggestions on things to do later on, asking to spend time together.

He'll also help his s/o with getting ready in the morning. Checking up to see if they've done things like brush their teeth and floss (might even ask to check), and making sure everything is done in a timely manner. Might even have clothes laid out the night before for the next day. (Would honestly do their entire morning routine for them if given the opportunity.)

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Dinner usually is calmer than breakfast, chatter being quiet and scarce. When dinner is over though, he'll relax in his living room, study or room, usually reading.

This is prime hangout time, as long as his s/o isn't watching or playing or doing anything that's too loud. Lean on him while watching a TV show, sit on opposite ends of the couch, work at a desk while he lays down, do whatever. He'll also be fine with chatting during these moments, it's probably a good time to bring up anything important.

Usually he bathes at night, and if his s/o does too he'll insist on drying their hair for them. (Like with the morning routine, he'd do the entire routine for them if given the opportunity.)

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Not very open, unless you ask him questions directly (which, he'd probably dance around the topic anyways). You could be his closest friend and not know a thing about his personal life. If he feels like it's important for someone to know the information, he'll tell them, but otherwise he's very tight lipped.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Nearly has the patience of a saint. While he is far more patient than most, even he has his limits. Although, his anger doesn't show at all. He calms down very quickly.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Remembers preferences very, very quickly. He's very good at interacting with others and tends to remember lots of things (even things he doesn't really care to know). If you tell him something, he's likely to remember. Also miraculously remembers where everything is (ex. you move where his keys are, he'll remember where you moved them-- or if a coworker put down their pen in the break room and he notices, he'll remember where they put it.)

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Probably a moment where he tell them to do something, and they listen. Maybe he gives them instructions, and they follow thoroughly, or it's something minimal, and they do it immediately. It would fill him with warmth, and he'll certainly praise his s/o for being good and well behaved. Especially if it's a task he didn't previously trust them to do.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Not very protective, moreso because he feels incredibly secure about his relationship with his s/o. He's very mature, stable (financially and emotionally), a filial son, excellent management skills in work and at home, patient and understanding (and these aren't boasts or exaggerations, he'd get a perfect score in an "ideal spouse" test), so who could possibly be better to date (and marry) than him? Who could possibly provide more to you than he can?

But... if there is a chance he feels like his partner is getting... endangered by their surroundings, he'll just solve the problem by keeping them at home, safe and sound-- where he can correct bad behavior.

Not so much how he likes to be protected but rather, being physically protected is really the only way you can protect him in a way that registers as comfort and protection to him. Less tangible forms of protection feel more like cute attempts at playing tough to him. Having a greater physical difference with him kinda tingles his chest in a way that would worry him in any other circumstance.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Puts a regular amount of effort into dates/anniversaries. Usually gets pretty typical things, stuffed animals, chocolate, go out for dinner, etc. Of course, he won't get something he knows his s/o wouldn't like, but his effort is kinda... meh? Moreso like a routine or just something that's expected to be done. Not unpleasant, he definitely makes it a nice experience, but there's more that can be done to make it more personal.

Gifts and everyday tasks are his specialty, though. Gifts usually are exactly what his s/o wants or needs, and everyday tasks are swept out of their hands so he could do them instead. It's amazing how well he can manage his time and get so much done in a day.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Neglects his sleep, sometimes. He can get really busy, and people rely on him often so he takes on more than he can feasibly handle without sacrificing hours of sleep. Usually he's meticulous about taking good care of his health, but sleep just tends to be the bit he neglects often.

Also like most healthcare professionals, tends to point out the bad health habits of those around him. Kinda nags.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not as concerned over his appearance as, say, Max-- however he values cleanliness, and looking nice (considers it more as "body maintenance" than a hobby like Max does) hence, he takes care of his appearance thoroughly, and has a pretty nice selection in his closet.

Takes care of his skin (particularly his hands) and his hair the most, appearance wise. Has hand lotion in his car, at his desk at work, by his kitchen and bathroom sinks, etc. and also takes care of his nails (but moreso just doing regular maintenance to make sure they don't break easily or have any hangnails). Puts oils and uses fancy shampoo and conditioner to make sure his hair stays silky smooth, and has a lot of different hair ties/accessories.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

While he'll be able to manage his daily life just fine, any possible subsequent partner after his s/o would constantly be compared to them. How he could do "better" than "last time" or how his s/o was better than his current partner, and that constant comparison, that sense of that person being unforgettable would eat away at him insidiously.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Strongly dislikes perfumes/colognes and scented body products/candles/air fresheners. The smells give him a headache and nausea, even mild ones. Sometimes if his coworkers are eating food with too strong of a scent, he'll leave the room, so he often prefers eating outside/on balconies.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Doesn't particularly has people he "dislikes", especially when it comes to partner. Most things he has issues with, he sees as an "easy fix". Although, to that effect, I suppose he would dislike people who are unpredictable and don't listen to reason, or are stubborn. Usually he can deal with people like that well, but he still vastly prefers people who are more "well behaved".

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

A fussy sleeper that moves around a lot and latches onto the closest pillow or blanket available, but only if he has a sleeping area to himself. If sharing a bed with someone, or if someone else sleeping in the room with him, he sleeps like the dead. Wears a night guard to prevent snoring (which is why he tries not to nap on the couch, aside from the fact it could mess up his routine).

#keni.ask #oc : psy

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babythegod · 2 years

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Ok. I’ve decided to try to go to graduate school first then teach while I get my PSY-D like I ORIGINALLY wanted because this IDS /2nd bachelors degree situation feels like wreckage…It’s not the right fit! I hate it, &haven’t done anythinggggg.. I didn’t find out until later that my “plan A” was feasible…totally unfair.. but I needed a break fr fr…Lord be with me! 🙏🏾Hopefully by Fall I can be in M.A.T where I belong. ♥️♥️♥️

#everybody makes mistakes #lord please #open these doors #or windows #faith #divine guidance #change #master degree #prayers

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kelthoumrambles · 2 months

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Jai vraiment ce truc assez débile où j'ai peur de décevoir les gens. Genre admettre à mon psy que je suis en rechute pour le moment.. j'ai peur qu il soit déçu alors qu'en fait ça change pas sa vie. C'est ma vie. C'est moi qui suis un peu déçue. Je suis même pas déçue en vrai. Je me dis plutôt que ce serait bien que je me reprenne le plus vite possible car c'est tellement dur de se lancer... la motivation vient dans l'action... alors l idéal serait que je me reprenne apd d aujourd'hui.

Le 4/07 j'ai bu un verre de champ. Le 5/07 une quinzaine de bière voire plus + cocktails + rhum. Le 8/07 une bière et 1/2 bouteille de vin blanc. Le 9/07 un whisky sour + trois 33. 11/07 une quinzaine de bières + fumer chichon. 12/07 j'ai tellement bu que black out et ma pote m'a expliqué qu'à la fin je buvais du rhum à la bouteille. 16/07 quelques bières avec un gars de l'hôpital de jour qui a aussi un alcoolisme puis 2 verres de vin au resto avec mon parrain. Hier, 1 verre de vin blanc et j'ai terminé les x gramme de chichon et j'ai bcp pensé au speed qu'il me reste dans mon tiroir.

Honnetement. Je guette la coke. J'y pense très souvent. Pas sûre de résister si l'occasion se présente. Alors je fais de mon mieux pour ne pas me retrouver dans une telle situation.

Sérieusement mon psy qu'est ce qu'il en a foutre. C'est à moi de m'en foutre. Genre mon comportement est mega toxic mdr sérieux c'est quoi ça. C'est rien à côté de ce que je traversais il y a à peine 2 mois (minimum 1 bouteille de vin blanc par jour + tout ce qui etait snifable/fumable + des afters qui duraient 2-3jours, 2-3 black out par semaines etc). Je suis en train de vriller. c'est déjà beaucoup beaucoup beaucoup trop...

Aussi je me rends compte que je me fais du mal. Comme pour me punir. De tout le mal que j'ai subi. Triste mais j'ai le pouvoir de changer ça.

Ce qui me rassure c'est d'en être consciente. Être consciente de ça, d'après moi, laisse plus de place à ma capacité d'action. If that makes sense.........

Yooooo

#Alalala #alcoholism #addiction #cestpasjoli #mental illness #bpd

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tokyoheiku · 7 months

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Japan 2024

Finally, after 12 years, I went back to Japan for nearly a month! It's a trip that's been a long time coming; a trip I've had many, many dreams about lol. After losing my passion for Japan/Japanese by the time my degree ended (for various reasons), it took a few years before I was toying with the idea of going back, particularly to see friends who had decided to go and move there (or already lived there) post-university. And then of course you've got to factor in time and cost. 2020 was the first time things seemded to be aligning and I really thought I might go back, but then, well, obviously I couldn't.

Then late last year, a friend (let's call her M) I recently got back in contact with happened to be planning her own Japan trip, and from time to time would mention that I should come along. I was hesitant at first (time and money!) but after thinking it over I realised that actually, for lots of reasons, this lined up pretty perfectly with my current life situation. So I agreed and we booked the trip!

This is a summation of that trip :D In parts cuz I can only upload so many photos per post -

Week 1! Tokyo

Our flight was indirect: Heathrow --> Helsinki --> Narita, with Finnair, who I have to hand it to, did a fantastic job. The planes were so nice and modern, and neither flight caused me any ear pain, which is a massive deal for me - if you've flown with me before, you'll know. Not to mention, the second flight only had 70 people on it...! So we were able to lay down. In economy! Plus we had some reindeer pasta during our layover in Helsinki, so now I can say I've done that. As flights go, (and for my first ever layover flight) it was possibly one of the best I've ever been on. Even though it was dragging toward the end of the 13 hours.

I don't know exactly what I had expected when arriving back in Japan, but it was so easy to just pick up where I left off. Everything was familiar, I was able to speak the language, I was finally returning to places I used to live.. it's amazing how quicky the brain just normalises these things. It was almost like I'd never left and those 12 years turned into nothing. This time I also had the added bonus of lots of pre-trip research, and google maps/translate (which I mostly needed for kanji every so often.!). I felt more at home than I did during my year abroad, I think. And in a far, far better mindset, to boot. I feel like I was able to take things in more; to experience the differences more. Or maybe I just don't remember what it was like 12 years ago lol

Something that catches your attention immediately in Japanese cities (apart from the neon) are the smells - walking by the many, many restaurants you'll get passing wafts of amazing smelling Japanese food. London cannot compete...! And for our first meal we ate at Torikizoku, an izakaya (pub-esque places where you can order Japanese 'tapas' style dishes for cheap) chain, and it was just immediately so heartening; even chain Japanese food is better than any Japanese food we can get in the UK. And my god, the price. I know the yen is weak right now which really worked in our favour this trip, but even so. A full meal for around £7 each.

It'd be an incredibly long post if I went day by day, so here are highlights of week one, separated by activities, and food

Activities:

Wandering around Shimokitazawa! I used to go fairly frequently since it was only a couple of stops away from Meidaimae, my station, which we also dropped into for that taste of nostalgia. Shimokitazawa is known for being a bit hipster, with a lot of vintage clothing shops. It's a nice change of vibe from the bigger areas like Shinjuku/Shibuya etc.

Night out in Shinjuku, at Psy Bar! One of the many, many tiny little bars dotted around Shinjuku/Kabukicho, this one was specifically rock/metal music themed and could house maybe 15 people? The guy behind the bar was already wasted, and a huge personality. Everyone was really friendly and the music was great. Definitely worth experiencing :D

Magical Lollipop Maid Cafe - we had to go to at least one! This one was themed around magical girls in training trying to become powerful enough to protect their customers. Despite the theme, it was pretty subdued compared to some other maid cafes but it was nice to chat to the maids and, of course, have our own omuraisu drawn on

Team Lab Planets - worth a mention mainly for the LED room tbh. I didn't think it was as good as it's made out to be, but then again it's so overhyped that that's pretty difficult. Worth experiencing, I think.

Muscle Girl Bar - absolutely fantastic. A++++. Only in Japan. The photos speak for themselves. M got slapped by like 8 muscley women and I got carried by two.

Food:

Fluffy Japanese pancakes from Flippers - dear god these are so light and fluffy and delicious and absolutely worth having if you ever go

Nabezou - a restaurant chain that does hotpot style dishes - specifically, in my case, SUKIYAKI! This is maybe my favourite meal of all time

Fancy yakiniku - yakiniku, but fancy

Zarusoba - a dish I'd never had before but have really come to enjoy: cold soba noodles you dip in a sauce. M ordered this tempura squid side dish which I ended up absolutely loving despite always having had reservations about squid in the past

Konbini bento boxes - the fried chicken/rice one was particularly good :D

Noteworthy mentions:

Shopping in Shibuya - it's worth traversing around 109 just to have a look.

Pokemon Centres - by the end of week 1 we'd already hit up a few

Cat Cafes - same here lol

Atami - a seaside town 40 minutes away from Tokyo by bullet train, where we went to the plum blossom garden

It's possible I front-loaded week 1 a little too much, but it ended up being so, so much fun - even if incredibly exhausting lol. By week 2 I was already feeling like I had eaten too much...!

A few things I took note of -

Japan is just so convenient. Everything this country does is to aid in helping make people's lives a little bit easier; diametrically opposed to England in that sense...! Having convenience stores literally everywhere really is so convenient, and the vending machines as well. There are drug stores on every corner, Starbucks on every other corner.. you could come to Japan with your passport and phone and immediately be within 5 minutes of everything you could possibly need.

On the flip side, they're obsessed with 1 ply toilet paper??? I get it, conservation etc, but if you're gonna go hard on conservation efforts, cut down on the plastic, Japan, not the toilet paper lol

Getting around takes time. Even if a train journey only takes 5 minutes, walking around the massive stations will take 10, and if you're outside, you've got to wait ages for traffic lights to change..!!! This was true everywhere I went, not just the metropolis that is Tokyo. Maybe it's different further out from the cities though.

Oh, and jingles. Jingles everywhere. I love them :')

Week 2 next!

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honeyleesblog · 1 year

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Astrological Outlook and Character Analysis for Individuals with a May 22nd Birthday

Smart, ready for business: they accomplish triumph over their rivals. They show an incredible capacity to focus on their work. Daring and enterprising: they need to be in a place of high standing. Extremely reasonable: they work with greatness. Despite the fact that they might be at risk for incident, they are frequently gifted with surprising capacities or even a specific ability. For instance, they love to find the mysteries of nature, optics or science. They are accomplished in the space of composing and workmanship. His capacities are for absolutely philosophical purposes. Since they can cleverly uncover the insider facts of others, they could become brilliant investigator, exploring judges, or legal counselors. What undermines them: The main thing for these individuals is to accomplish their principal desires. What would it be advisable for them to hope for? They should take a stab at consistency and congruity of character. Something interesting is that they talk uniquely in contrast to they act. This duality is complemented as they age, as well as crabbiness and inner anxiety. They are articulate individuals, equipped for guarding their perspectives with incredible ability. Typically they figure out how to get a decent situation in their calling. They can likewise find lasting success in the military. Astrological Outlook and Character Analysis for Individuals with a May 22nd Birthday

Assuming your birthday is on May 22, your zodiac sign is Gemini May 22 - character and character character: savvy, steadfast, morally sound, miserable, modest, narrow minded; calling: paleontologist, pilot, rancher; colors: dark, blue, blue; stone: alexandrite; animal: shrimp; plant: coconut palm; fortunate numbers: 6,27,35,43,48,54 very fortunate number: 23 Occasions and observances - May 22 Guatemala: Arbor Day college understudy day. Worldwide Day for Natural Variety. May 22 VIP Birthday. Who was conceived that very day as you? 1900: Yvonne de Gaulle, French lady (d. 1979), spouse of Charles de Gaulle. 1900: Juan Arvizu, "The tenor of the silk voice" melodious tenor from Mexico (f. 1985). 1907: Hergდ© (Georges Remდ), French sketch artist of Belgian beginning (d. 1983). 1907: Laurence Olivier, English entertainer and producer (d. 1989). 1910: Julio Salvador and Dდaz-Benjumea, Spanish military and government official (d. 1987). 1912: Herbert C. Brown, American physicist of English beginning, Nobel Prize in science in 1979 (d. 2004). 1913: Rafael Gil, Spanish screenwriter and movie producer (d. 1986). 1914: Sun Ra (Herman Sonny Blount), American jazz performer (d. 1993). 1914: EA Thompson, English history specialist (d. 1994). 1914: Max Kohnstamm, Dutch history specialist and representative (d. 2010). 1920: Thomas Gold, Austrian astrophysicist (d. 2004). 1922: Agustდn Gaდnza, Spanish footballer (d. 1995). 1922: Alicia Jurado, Argentine author (d. 2011). 1924: Charles Aznavour, French vocalist, arranger and entertainer. 1925: Jean Tinguely, Swiss craftsman (d. 1991). 1926: Elek Bacsik, Hungarian jazz guitarist and violin player (d. 1993). 1926: Concha Alდ³s, Spanish author (d. 2011). 1927: Peter Matthiessen, American author and naturalist (d. 2014). 1927: George A. Olah, Hungarian scientist, 1994 Nobel Prize champ for science (d. 2017). 1930: Harvey Milk, American government official and social liberties lobbyist (d. 1978). 1930: Agustდn Tosco, Argentine association pioneer (d. 1975). 1932: Celia Bravo (Lucila Mataix-Olcina), Spanish essayist (f. 2001). 1935: Barry Rogers, American artist (d. 1991). 1937: Facundo Cabral, Argentine artist musician (d. 2011). 1937: Richard Kenneth Brummitt, English botanist (d. 2013). 1938: Susan Strasberg, American entertainer (f. 1999). 1940: Carlos Galvდ¡n, bandoneonist, Argentine tango director and writer (f. 2014). 1941: Paul Winfield, American entertainer (d. 2004). 1942: Unabomber (Theodore Kaczynski), American psychological oppressor of Clean beginning. 1943: Betty Williams, Irish conservative, Nobel Harmony Prize champ in 1976. 1943: Edgar Marდn, previous Costa Rican footballer. 1945: Pedro Berruezo, Spanish footballer (d. 1973). 1946: George Best, Northern Irish footballer (d. 2006). 1946: Virginia Lago, Argentine entertainer. 1949: დ?ngel Enrique Tacuarita Brandazza, social lobbyist killed by the Argentine Armed force (d. 1972). 1950: Bernie Taupin, English lyricist, writer and vocalist. 1952: Waldemar Victorino, Uruguayan soccer player. 1953: Tillie Moreno, Filipino artist. 1955: Iva Davies, Australian artist lyricist and instrumentalist, head of the band Icehouse. 1956: Claudio Rissi, Argentine entertainer. 1956: Al Corley, American entertainer and artist. 1957: Javier Castrilli, previous Argentine soccer arbitrator and legislator. 1959: Morrissey, English artist and singer, of the band The Smiths. 1960: Hideaki Anno, Japanese activity chief. 1961: Alfons Arდºs, Spanish columnist. 1961: Antonia San Juan, Spanish entertainer, producer, screenwriter and maker. 1962: Bo Skovhus, Danish baritone 1964: Rita Guerrero, Mexican entertainer and artist, of the St Nick Sabina band (d. 2011). 1966: Wang Xiaoshuai, Chinese producer. 1967: Christophe Gagliano, French judoka. 1967: Paloma Lago, Spanish model and moderator. 1968: Igor Lediakhov, Russian footballer. 1970: Naomi Campbell, English model. 1970: Pedro Diniz, Brazilian Equation 1 driver. 1970: Willy Toledo, Spanish entertainer. 1972: Anna Belknap, American entertainer. 1972: Max Streams, American author. 1973: Emilio Alzamora, Spanish cruiser racer. 1973: Fდ¡tima Baeza, Spanish entertainer. 1975: Salvador Ballesta, Spanish footballer. 1976: Fernando Andina, Spanish entertainer. 1976: Daniel Erlandsson, Swedish artist. 1978: Ginnifer Goodwin, American entertainer. 1978: Katie Cost, English model. 1979: Maggie Q, American entertainer. 1980: Lucy Gordon, English entertainer (d. 2009). 1981: Jდ¼rgen Melzer, Austrian tennis player. 1981: Bryan Danielson, American expert grappler. 1983: Franco Niell, Argentine footballer. 1984: Bismarck du Plessis, South African rugby player. 1984: Paola Sallustro, Argentine entertainer and artist. 1985: CariDee English, American model. 1985: Mauro Boselli, Argentine footballer. 1985: Tranquillo Barnetta, Swiss footballer. 1987: Nდ³vak Diდ³kovich, Serbian tennis player. 1987: Arturo Vidal, Chilean soccer player. 1989: Nდ©stor Girolami, Argentine driver. 1991: Suho, South Korean artist, artist, model and entertainer. 1994: Franco Masini, Argentine entertainer.

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mccarthymolly · 2 years

Text

crtv dk uu ww, nt money so jurture to wt,uh, a status or wt,uh,hkuuh,

Jdj

Nc uh

Unstandaruzablez i personz couldnt sayz monolog

D everyone christanish,zu,h,j,

K say, luck, art, dk,hm,u,n,oo,u,hh,k,think,ppl,,n,o,j

K uh byeh,kj,

Ww mnths ,dkh,k,j,

Ppoey no,hk,,j

Battles n situation, dk,uh,k,n,

Nt nec sexual b porny n i didnt hear outside sex prib bc sexual interpetaion or became cliched as sexual especially the supersex like great hottest sex,h,k,

jdcjjdococ

Hk u,n,k,j,ww,j,ku,j,o,uh,copouter

Nl,u,k,j,j,j

Exp,uh,no,uh,dk,uh,n,o,sey uh,m,

Ww uh,n,l,j,j,k,

Transition to mus for this psy statez nt say, b was psy, then idk, intuiey

They remijfed frim autoing. Near to hear, hesr observe jj

Big mnyh,j,u

Prsn uh dk ww jjmujmouj jmun ujk agn yh hm uunok

R u a nyt critic blurbing at a dinner party, or r u a pos, y say tht ykj What's ? Teen high6 high5 hn nooo y homd, nervous, frz bc dk hmu

Yh uh no, standardy n othr n eh, no, nt hot, hmuhmi. Rdy? Ww hmuh n o

#Art #j #h

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usernose · 17 days

Note

Dupsy's at it again with someone else now. Be careful!

Oh God, but for which fandom?

#d*psy situation #dipshit diaries #the dupsy situation #the d*spy situation #the real dupsy situation #the real d*psy situation

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swedesinstockholm · 9 months

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26 novembre

jour 4 du futur navigable et fertile mmh qu'est-ce que j'ai fait aujourd'hui? hier je me suis couchée à trois heures du matin parce que je me suis perdue dans mon journal du lycée à la recherche des cochons et de yannick mais c'est surtout mes jérémiades sans fin sur p. que j'ai trouvées et elle sont insupportables à lire. j'avais envie de me pousser violemment et de me dire mais vas-y PARLE-LUI BORDEL. ça aurait pu se passer tellement différemment. j'aurais pu être amie avec lui et avec d. et sécher les cours avec eux pour aller à tous les concerts d'indie rock des alentours au lieu de toujours y traîner f. but it didn't. j'avais envie de me pousser mais en même temps je me rappelle exactement de ce que je ressentais, de comment je voyais les choses, je me rappelle très bien du mur entre moi et le monde, entre moi et ce que je veux. je mentionne aussi un rdv chez une psy où je suis allée qu'une seule fois et qui m'avait dit comme tous les autres que j'étais pas d'une nature timide à la base et je me dis que peut être que je finirai par être une vieille extravertie et que ça me servira bien pour me faire facilement des amis quand on en aura besoin pour survivre collectivement à l'apocalypse en 2060.

cet après-midi après m'être plongée dans mon passé puis celui de n. (j'ai commencé son livre ce matin, un jour à berlin elle m'avait dit you're so weird. but in a good away! et vu ce qu'elle raconte dans son livre, je comprends pourquoi elle me trouve bizarre), je me suis plongée dans le passé de r. sans vraiment en avoir l'intention, j'écoutais le groupe dans lequel il joue pour voir si c'était bien et puis je me suis retrouvée à regarder des lives de 2014 où il était tout bébé et tout fou mais il est toujours tout fou, ils jouaient à l'ab et c'était en janvier et j'ai pas pu m'empêcher de comparer à mon janvier 2014 en crise absolue à paris, prête à abandonner mes études pour me laisser glisser dans ce qui allait devenir La Situation. et puis j'ai regardé des clips de son ancien groupe, des clips vraiment cool réalisés par une fille qui est suivie par toutes la lesbosphère francophone d'instagram et je me suis de nouveau dit mais qu'est-ce que t'as fabriqué pendant toutes ces années lara? dans un des clips il danse sur le toit d'un immeuble et puis il danse sur un chantier il danse mais il DANSE et je lui enviais sa liberté, sa façon d'être sans retenue, d'exploser dans tous les sens comme un feu d'artifice ou une chanson d'animal collective. la joie qu'il dégage aussi.

c'est une joie contagieuse parce que vers le soir je suis descendue dans la cuisine et j'y ai trouvée maman qui jurait en faisant claquer les casseroles mais elle avait allumé la radio qui passait du jazz joyeux et ça faisait un décalage bizarre, alors je suis discrètement remontée dans ma chambre et j'ai mis france musique pour continuer à écouter le jazz joyeux et j'ai commencé à danser, je dansais tellement fort que j'ai du poser mon pull parce que j'étais en nage. et puis j'ai commencé à trop me regarder dans la glace et à être prise de dégoût par mon corps, mon corps que je déteste de toutes mes forces parce que je me prive de sucre depuis un mois et rien ne change et je le déteste de me faire ça, ça me remplit de colère, je suis remplie de colère contre mon corps, et donc mon corps est en colère contre lui-même, ou je suis en colère contre moi-même, ou mon corps est en colère contre moi?? je sais pas, dans tous les cas y a beaucoup de colère. et puis j'ai arrêté de danser parce que j'étais démoralisée.

27 novembre

hier soir j'ai enfin regardé split que j'avais hautement anticipée mais j'avais visiblement oublié que ça restait une série france télévision et donc c'était un peu nul et j'étais un peu déçue. non seulement c'était filmé comme une série france télévision mais en plus c'était plus un manifeste qu'une série, on aurait dit que la série servait de prétexte pour dire et montrer des trucs qui sont très peu ou jamais représentés dans les médias, et évidemment que c'est très bien de faire ça, mais ça suffit pas pour faire une bonne oeuvre de fiction, je pense, sorry iris brey. en plus les actrices jouaient mal. voilà donc j'étais déçue et ça a pas du tout réussi à me détourner de mon chemin hétérosexuel comme ce que la série m'avait promis, mais y a tout de même une scène qui m'a marquée. on y voit le personnage joué par jehnny beth dire à alma jodorowsky qu'elle pas l'habitude, quand alma pose ses bagues pour s'apprêter à la pénétrer, mais elle dit qu'elle en a envie donc elle la laisse faire et on dirait qu'elle jouit, mais après elle se met à pleurer et puis le perso d'alma lui demande si elle pense que c'est à cause de son viol quand elle avait douze ans qu'elle est devenue lesbienne, parce qu'elle dit qu'elle a jamais couché avec un homme, mais je sais plus si c'est la même scène. ce matin dans la salle de bain quand j'ai changé ma serviette j'y ai repensé et j'avais envie de lui demander si elle non plus elle mettait jamais de tampons.

jour 5 de mon futur FERTILE ET NAVIGABLE JE VAIS ÊTRE PUBLIÉE DANS LA REVUE SABIR!!!! j'y croyais absolument pas parce que je me disais que mon texte était pas assez expérimental master de création littéraire, et puis si. j'ai crié de joie en réalisant que c'était pas un mail de refus. je l'ai dit à personne sauf à a. ce soir. elle m'a dit qu'elle voulait écrire une comédie musicale mais que c'était vraiment dur et je lui racontais à quel point c'était compliqué et technique un synthé et elle me racontait à quel point c'était compliqué et technique de chanter et on se demandait toutes les deux pourquoi la musique avait autant de pouvoir. à un moment le proprio du bar qui était turc et qui parlait très peu français s'est incrusté à notre table pour discuter et au bout d'un moment il a fait remarquer que j'étais dans la lune et il arrêtait pas de dire elle pense à un monsieur! et ça m'agaçait donc je devais faire la grimace et a. rigolait parce qu'elle me prend pour une lesbienne mais la vérité c'est que j'y pense 24/24 et le fait que j'écoute que des chansons qu'il m'a conseillées ou que j'ai glanées dans ses stories n'arrange pas les choses. je suis rentrée à pied en dansant sur deerhoof dans le noir parce que j'étais contente.

#stuff

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rebelliouslala · 3 years

Text

4 Something

warnings- character death, language, cult like behavior, angst

word count- 1.7k

You had been introduced to everyone, but to be honest, you felt as if you could not memorize the men you had just met.

To be fair, there were 16 other men.

Selen was the eldest, and therefore the elder brother figure of the entire Pound. Mouse was the youngest. He was an “intern” at the Dream Gems. He sat next to Chenle, and whispered to him quietly in Korean. He looked so small in this gang. You assumed he had to join when he was possibly younger than you became a member in the Ripple.

Selen had made you meet the others, and even repeat their names. Victory sighed as he endured everyone hugging him and strangely calling him Orpheus. Selen, surprisingly, went quick. With each snap of his fingers, as if it were the 1920’s, he pointed and named.

Your head spun with the names; You only went by small descriptions to memorize each man. And even then, you had no idea. Osaka, or Herac was sitting next to a lean man, Zeus. This man was lanky, but smiled widely and laughed as he sang.

The one that Johnny sat next to, with his statuesque face was Aphrodite. He was breathtaking. Gogo- Hermes, was faced away from a very energetic boy, with feathery hair, Helios. You looked at another man, with a pinched nose, named Athene. Selen sat next to him. You stared at him, and he nodded at you silently.

And in this room, Johnny was not even referred to his name, his English nor Korean, but as Ares. You held his hand under the table.

“So, Eos has made this, Psy is their name, as a new spy. Now, Athene will make the plan.” Selen said loudly.

The man mentioned nodded, before he did a double take. “What? Hyung—?”

“Eos orders.”

Athene blinked, and he stood up, quietly kicking you.

“OW.” You stated with disgust, glaring up.

“Oh! Pardon me, would you mind punching Selen?” Athene said like a gent.

There was an ahem. The man who made the noise placed his hands under his chin. “Continue, Athene.” Aphrodite said with a coolness.

The other man sighed quietly, but he got out a scroll. It was curled, but he laid it out so everyone can see. Yuta -you didn’t even want to try to remember his name-, helped it keep it open with his elbow, and another boy who was introduced as Songbird, who smiled up at Athene.

Athene now read loudly, “My fellow Gods, demigods and mortals; we invite a new, fellow mortal by the name of Psy. They have a chance to take down our enemy. Because of this, all business is now closed. We will be quiet and we will,” Athene leaned closer, muttering to himself in Korean, “We will now not be active. Herac, Dolphin, Psy and Ares, shall all go to the West Side and take the corrupt Ripple down. Any news from our spies will be delivered by Songbird and Orpheus.” Athene sighed as he pulled away, “With Godspeed, Eos.”

You hid your smirk at his flat tone. Perhaps Eos was too much of a narcissist to even realize his team was much too sick of his dramatics.

Athene pulled the scroll back, and he blinked. “Any questions?”

“Yeah.” You crossed your arms, “Is Eos okay?”

Aphrodite scoffed and he looked at you through his lashes. The other men, including Selen, scoffed and harrumphed at your response.

“Well don’t look at me like I’m some sort of goon.” You stood up. “You all might’ve thought the same.”

“Eos,” said the young man you saw training earlier, you believe his name was Achilles, “Is a God among us. I am lucky to be seen as a demigod—,”

“Oh my god.” You rolled your eyes as you grabbed Johnny’s shoulder, and whispered loudly, “What a cult, am I right?”

“Psy,” he whispered with guilt.

You turned, and sighed, holding the bridge of your nose as you looked upon everything. The shining waxed table. The white suits everyone wore. Their stares. How they all looked down.

“I’m going to take down the Ripple my way. Chenle—,”

“He is known as Dolphin!” Orpheus, started.

“Not another word out of your mouth.” You glared at him, before turning away, gently tapping Johnny.

He sounded worried. You’re already in enough shit. You should be dead. More than ever in this situation. With Eos. This is the worst scenario and your best friend didn’t know how to act. You held his hand tightly above the table and smiled.

“Let’s go. I will contact Ch- Dolphin, with updates. And or, Victory- Orpehus.” You giggled as Johnny stood up with you.

“Then Godspeed,” Helios said to you calmly.

“God damn,” you replied with a smirk, and pull your friend out as the others daggered your back with judgement.

And another, foreign dagger stared above the table, witnessing every single move you had just made.

The funeral was that. A funeral.

Nothing prepared you for the pain you felt staring at Yangyang’s body. His face was still, no smile, and he was so, so pale. Unlike the photo that was next to him. It was only from a few days ago. He was grinning. Laughing. It was with Mr. Money and Sushi, but they were edited out.

His real name was read out in multiple languages. From German, Chinese, Korean, English. It read the same. Liu “Dreamer” Yangyang. Friend. Son. Brother.

You gripped onto Johnny, and looked up at his eyes, trying to find his warmth. It had to be. It was supposed to be. Impossible. It had to be.

Johnny sighed quietly as his lips contorted, before he finally grabbed onto the words. “D-Do you remember how Dreamer always knew what you wanted for your birthday? And how he always shared with us the photos of Louis and Leon?”

A hot tear escaped your eye, as you hid in his huge chest and nodded. You nodded frantically as you began to sob. Johnny’s big hands held you, and he placed his chin on you, sighing quietly again.

The plan was ruined. You lost the man who should be here and hugging you and Johnny before you both went on a cruise to Korea, and then after that, the world.

You let go to breathe, biting the inside of your cheeks with anger. Your gaze turned to Victory’s tears, and Sushi looking at the youngest member’s body

His face reminded you, strongly of how you were young once. Running away and living with Johnny out on the streets of Baise. You had only one television, the news, and that broadcast that evening was of a grown woman crying, over and over in Taiwanese, “WHERE IS MY SON? WHO TOOK HIM AWAY FROM ME?”

His eyes shared the same pain.

“Psy.” You turned as Mr. Money hugged you. Embraced you. He hid in you. “I-I can’t we could’ve lost you too. And John, we- fuck.”

Osaka was in the corner, looking down as he stared at the Ripple mourn.

Once Mr. Money had released himself, you stared at Jewel letting Smalls and Henry hug him tightly. Jewel despised any touching.

The fierce, cunning man, couldn’t even look what is inside the coffin. He only held the two now youngest members close to his heart.

Your hands gripped, nails digging to your palms. Now this was something you couldn’t take. The Pound may have you and Johnny’s lives on a string. But nothing could describe your frustration, to Sicheng. Victory. Whatever his name was.

To Yuta himself.

Osaka got up from his place on the wall, and he strutted himself to the coffin. He peaked over.

Today, the man wore not the white cult suit from the Pound, but a simple, and dull outfit. He took off his grey jacket, his white shirt bulging out oddly, as his black shoes, matching his black suit pants, had rubbed against the table that Dreamer was placed upon.

“He knew.”

Everyone turned to the man. Osaka took a katana from inside his shirt, and now the cloth hugged him. The weapon had a sky blue diamond handle. The blade itself was an opaque diamond. Osaka placed it in Dreamer’s hands.

Jewel stopped him, gripping it and he glared at him. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“I thought perhaps—,”

Jewel grabbed it with both hands, and he threw back into Osaka’s chest, stepping forward. “You don’t touch his body. You don’t look at it. What the fuck happened there.”

“John already explained,” Smalls tried to explain.

“No, bullshit. John is a nice guy. We don’t even fuckin’ know Osaka- in fact. It seems his Japanese is a little shaky.” Jewel pushed Osaka now, speaking in Japanese quickly, with poison. Your ears weren’t the best in the language, but he did say something along the lines of, “Speak now or hold your peace, bitch.”

Osaka took the blows from Jewel. But he looked up. “We were all ambushed by Dream Gems. You know that they work under the Pound. We believe Chenle—,”

“BBall.” Mr. Money held his cane and separated the men.

“Listen. I’m sorry. I wanted to pay my respects—,” Osaka tried to reason.

“YOU DONT DO SHIT HERE!” Jewel roared, his eyes glowing with anguish. “YOU GOT HIM KILLED!”

“He’s not dead.” You said.

Everyone turned.

“Really? He’s okay? Di-,” Sushi started.

“He’s in a very deep, deep coma.” You slowly take your hand back, and put it in your pockets.

Henry teared up, hugging Smalls, “G-Good.”

“That doesn’t mean shit. Yuta needs to be investigated. On our last and final mission all of the sudden it goes wrong?” Jewel said as he glared at Osaka from the side of his eye.

“Then let’s attack The Pound.”

Johnny held your arm and gently pressed four times.

What.

Are.

You.

Doing.

“We need to make the Pound pay for what they did. And if Osaka isn’t bad, he’ll help.” You look at Osaka. “Won’t you?”

Osaka’s cold face suddenly melted to the side as he leans on a hip and he raised a brow, his smirk curving out as he said, almost naturally, “Perhaps I will for ya, doll.”

Johnny rolled his eyes. “Who should go with us?”

“Gogo. He’s reliable, after all he’s known Sushi for a long time too, hasn’t he?”

The big man nodded. “Yeah.”

You look at everyone. You planned for a bigger plan. A bigger dramatic. But that’s the Pound’s job. Right now, a plan, quite without common sense, was forming.

And the goal is was for you, and Johnny to be safe.

“For the Dreamer.” You said firmly.

“For the end.” The Ripple echoed back.

#nct #nct 127 angst #nct imagines #nct 127 #yuta angst #johnny angst #wayv angst #dee writes #4 Something

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mellie1409 · 3 years

Text

Practice day

Knock knock knock

'Y/N, it's time to wake up you hear Jin say.

As usually, he leaves the door open on a crack, through which the early morning sun rays sneak in paired with the sound of people talking in raspy morning voices.

It had been a month already since you moved in with BTS and you still didn't get used to wake up in a foreign house full with silly and loving laughters 24/7.

As you stood up to open the curtains, you stretched your back, sore from what had been weeks full of intensive dance training, to try and lift your dance level up to the rest of the group's.

You opened the window and took a deep breath in of fresh air. 'Another day, another practice and a day less to debut! ' you told yourself. Then headed to the bathroom to put on your lenses and get dressed for practice.

As the boys knew you weren't a morning person and, on the same way some people didn't liked being talked to before their morning coffee, you said you didn't like being talked to before having your contacts on as you "couldn't hear if you couldn't see".

Today, you decided to wear comfy clothes as it would be a busy day and you quickly put your hair up in a messy bun before going out of the bathroom.

You walked trough the corridor heading to the living room, but before getting there you stopped by Yoongi's room. The door was open and you saw he had been working on his music equipment on a new song. He had been working on new music whole nights since August D-2 came out.

You saw he had fallen back at sleep after Jin had woken everyone up, so you walked up to him and shook his shoulder. 'Yoongi, we need to leave in 10 minutes, Sejin is already here' you say softly.

Yoongi opens one eye to look up at you before closing it again. 'That means I still have 5 minutes of sleep, please Y/Nssi, don't tell Jin I'm still sleeping. ' he answered in a soft murmur.

Of course you wouldn't say anything after he so sweetly had asked, so when you walked in the living room ready to pack your breakfast and Jin asked you where Yoongi was, you simply answered: 'he is still saving some files from last's night work'.

Jin decided to believe you as he finished packing the 4 maknaes breakfasts with Jimin's help. On the meanwhile J-Hope approached you with a very sleepy look but fully clothed and ready to leave. He handed you a banana milk as you shook your head.

'Thanks Hobi but I have singing lessons this morning and I want my voice to be clear and fresh. ' you try to argue.

He simply looks at you and say: 'Y/Nssi, we all know you get nauseous in the car when you don't eat anything and the last thing you want is to miss a practice day right before debut right? Plus, it came right from the fridge, so I'm sure your throat will feel refreshed ' he says while putting a silly face on.

You let out a dramatic sigh but quickly take the banana milk and drinking it all at once as you were truly thirsty. J-Hope just looked at you and shook his head while laughing.

At that moment Namjoon runs into the room, with a concerned face. 'Guys, Sejin is waiting for us, but I can't find my left shoe... ' And that was the queue for the whole group to start a search expedition for Namjoon's shoe.

In the car the ride is silent, everyone still too tired from waking up early to talk. But this silence is interrupted by Jin.

'Sugassi, did you get to save the files on time before leaving?' He asks with a funny voice.

Of course, Suga didn't know that was the excuse you had given Jin for his lateness. So his answer was just: 'Huh? Which files?'

And like that everyone started laughing and the silence was broken and interrupted with all class of chattering while the manager, Sejin, drove around Seoul, with a smile on his face.

First thing you had to do today was a singing lesson with you vocal teacher. You went to the studio to find Ms. Kim Sungeun already there. As you were a foreigner, she allowed you to call her by her name, but, in front of other people, you had to keep the formalities.

'Sungeun, good morning!' you chirp happily.

'My my, you are so happy today! I see you haven't forgotten about what day it is today' she says smiling.

Of course you hadn't, tonight you would be recording you favorite song of the playlist: louder than bombs. You had been waiting so long, and today finally was the day.

With the excitement that kept you jumping up and down you started practicing.

You were about 1'5 hours in and you had gotten to the adlibs part of the song. These were improvisations you had to make around the main vocals to make the song have more melodies. Because you were knew to the world of singing, Sungeun had prepared some adlibs for you to try out.

You were shy at first, but Sungeun kept encouraging you to sing louder and louder until your inner voice came out. You continued like that for 5 more minutes.

Right as you were on one of the highs the door opened at once, a surprised face appearing in the opening. You look startled at Jungkook as Sungeun turns off the music.

'Are you the one signing Y/N?' he asks. You nod shyly as his face lits up. 'WOW I didn't know you could do that!!! I mean I knew you are and exceptional singer, but this is more than that Y/N, this is inborn talent!!!! '

You let out a shy but happy 'thank you' as you start to blush. At that moment, Jungkook steps in and closes the door.

'Let's try to harmonise to this song' he says while getting a enthusiastic nod from Sungeun.

And like that, the most fun vocal lesson of your life continued. Harmonizing with Jungkook to the rythm of Louder than bombs.

After that you have Korean lesson with a different teacher, as you were fluent, but still missed some nuances of the Korean language.

When you finished the lesson you walked to the end of the corridor. There was a small kitchen and dining room where the groups had to cook in if they didn't want to go to the cantine in the first floor.

You sat on the only round table in the left corner of the room and took out your Korean books. Your teacher had given you a lot of homework and you knew you would be staying up until late already today, so you didn't want to add up homework to the mix. So you chose to study instead of eating.

Ironic isn't it? You thought to youself. 'I thought I had gotten out of studying when I chose for the idol life and yet here we are. Studying my ass off to be able to achieve my dream. ' You laugh innerly at yourself before starting to make the exercises the teacher had given you.

3rd person pov

What Y/N hadn't realized was that making homework in a comfortable sofa after being sleep deprived wasn't the best idea. Before she could even realize it, she had fallen asleep, lying on the sofa, invisible for anyone that came in, except for her feet.

And that's what exactly happened. The TXT members that had just finished their dance practice and had some spare time to eat walked noisily in the room. No one noticed Y/N until Yeonjun stopped at once in his track.

The others members looked at him surprised asking why he had stopped so suddenly. But he shushed them at the same time he pointed at your sleeping figure, or shall we say, shoes? Once they were aware of the situation they lowered their volume as they made their way to the small kitchen to the right.

It took not long until the air of the room was filled with the smell of ramen being cooked and melted cheese on top of it. And this was enough for Y/N to wake up with a rumbling stomach. She looked confused around her and we she realized the TXT members were there, eating while standing so the wouldn't get her books dirty, she quickly stood up and started tidying up the table.

'I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you guys were here and that I had fallen asleep' she said in an apologetic tone.

'Don't worry' Hyuning Kai says happily while sitting down next to you with a full bowl of instant ramen. 'We understand how hard it so to be about to debut. ' he continues while shrugging.

One by one, the other members start sitting around the table until only Soobin is standing up. Looking around to see why it's taking him so long, a smile suddenly appears on Beomgyu's face.

Soobin has prepared two ramen cups, one for himself and one for Y/N. As he walks up to the table being careful not to spill the how contents in the paper cups, he says: 'Here you go, Y/N. I thought you would be hungry as you haven't eaten and you need to stay strong before debut. Forget about the diets, no one is going to say anything, right boys? '

They all quickly shake their heads, agreeing with their leader. So you happily enjoy the cup of ramen Soobin had prepared you while having some fun talks with the other TXT members.

End 3rd person pov

When you finish eating, you say goodbye to TXT and head off to the dance practice room.

Today you would be practicing the dance to Dyonisus, as you had been doing for the past few days.

When you came in, all the boys were there already. You fastly bowed as an apology for being late, but Jimin quickly sneaked you in before anyone could realize you were late.

'Y/N! I hadn't realized you were here! ' Taehyung says while looking at you together with Namjoon.

'She's pretty quiet today, right Y/Nssi?' Jimin lies.

You get to choose the warm up song as always. And as always you choose the same song you had been obsessed with since the first dance practice you had had together: Daddy from PSY.

Of course the first time the boys saw you doing the dance, they were quite surprised as you had always been pretty shy while dancing and the song's dance was quite explicit. But it took Taehyung no time in joining you. And this time it was no different, everyone becoming hiped up. Flying pulls and jumpers announcing that you were all well warmed up.

The practice started and it was going very good. To the happiness of a strict J-Hope and Sungdeuk, no one messed up and you got to rehearsing the end of the song quicker than any other day.

But then, it happened. You were all supposed to step on top of a table for the ending. Right as you were about to do it for the 12th time, you legs gave up and you fell on your butt. Collective laughter filled the room as you, more embarrassed than hurt, accepted J-Hope's help to get up.

It was quickly decided that it had been enough practice for the day as well as that the table would be lower to accommodate your shorter stature.

As you were cooling off, you couldn't help but blush at the recent memory of you falling of the table. Taehyung saw you and came to give you a comforting hug telling you it had also happened to Jimin a lot, because of his short legs. Of course, the latter heard this and started chasing Taehyung around the room trying to playfully hit him and scold him. You laughed and completely forgot about the incident as you got your things and watched the Tom and Jerry game they were playing.

Last thing of the day before heading off was recording your part of the song of Louder than bombs. As you enter Namjoon's studio, you start to get nervous. This is your first full vocal song and the first time you will be doing adlibs. Namjoon notices and gives you a reassuring smile while setting everything up.

You go into the room that is connected to the studio by a glass door and stand in front of the microphone.

In the beginning, you feel anxious and your voice isn't full. But as Namjoon's patience never ends you start to grow confident and your inner voice starts to come out.

You sing the song with your full heart and it isn't until Namjoon has come into the recording room and is hugging you, that you realize you had been crying. This is a very special song to you, the mening being it always hit your sensible spot, so it wasn't strange that singing it triggered such a reaction in you.

As you sobbed uncontrollably into Namjoon's chest, the tiredness and hunger of the day getting to you, Namjoon spoke softly: 'It's okay, it has also happened to the best of us. No need to worry. You are just tired probably and this is quite an emotional song. Why don't we stop for today? Hmm? '

'But the adlibs... ' you say while sniffing.

'Don't worry about them, we can record them tomorrow. Why don't we order some take out and eat it here only the two of us? ' he says cheerly.

You of course don't mind being with the other members, but sometimes it got tiring having to show that you were good, that you were the best and that's why you had been chosen to debut with the biggest boyband of the world. Being able to show your vulnerable side to Namjoon felt good, and you didn't mind being able to do so some more time.

'That sounds like a great idea' you answer with a soft smile having fully stopped crying by now, the thought of food helping to your emotional state.

After having ordered some fried chicken (that will totally skip the diet you you were supposed to follow, but never did as you were a rebel), you sat down on Namjoon's studio's sofa, waiting for the delivery to come.

Namjoon looked at you and spoke up: 'Y/N, I know you are under a lot of pressure joining us into this crazy journey. But please, let us take care of you. You are after all the maknae and our little sister. So don't worry about trying to show us you are worth it, just do your best for yourself. '

This took away all your worries of the past few weeks that hadn't let you sleep well, worried about you daily performance in front of them, the mask you had set up to always show your happy side and never you worries. And as you ate the chicken that had finally arrived, you told Namjoon about all your worries and problems.

#bts #kpop #baby mochi #bts army #bts jungkook #bts suga #j hope bts #rm bts #golden maknae #good boy #bts jin #bts jimin #bts taehyung #bts 8th member #bts female member #bts female addition #kpop female member #bangtan sonyeondan

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soft-noble-light · 4 years

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COPING WITH THE COUP {PART 1}

Dear readers and international communities,

Myanmar is no stranger to violence and corruption since the military took control of country. This is the third time of military coup. Our ancestors have faced tremendous hardships in the past and now we, newer generations are beginning to feel what they have gone through. However, we strive ourselves to fight this battle. Here are the following list we are doing:

1) Civil Disobedience Movement: People who work for the current goverment either resign or stop going to work. It started with medical indutsry as doctors and nurses refused to show up at work. Then, many follow them-engineers, teachers, professors, firefighters, and lawyers. This movement succeeds greatly as every employee joins hands. FACT: Mandalay is the first state that all goverment employees support CDM.

2) Protesting outside: In downtown, around Sule Pagoda, in front of foreign embassies are packed with massive crowd. They strongly voice their oppression, persuade to do CDM and call for release of detained leaders. Different walks of life took on the street. FACT: Cosplay and meme-protest signs are mainly used to attract global attention about rejecting the coup although it may seem lively to others.

3) Fake News Media: MRTV, a well-known national TV channel and other news channels were compelled to shut down for few days and were resumed to show usual things excluding our current situation. MWD(military-owned news channel) aired military-propaganda song and fake news. FACT: Two military supporters which appear on channel several times became noticed. They switched roles as they turned from doctor to politician, ultra-Buddhist supporter to coup supporter, musician to army general.

4) Cacerolazo(Hitting pots and tin cans): Every 8 pm sharp, loud noises spread across the country for 10-15 mins. This signifes our hatred to the coup and it is our Myanmar tradition to scare off the demons and ghosts(which we now target to the military). FACT: MWD and MRTV nicknamed us as iron chest industry which we are proud of.

5) Access to Internet and phone: On the first day of coup, our phone lines were cut, including the Internet. We were petrified intially because we lost our main communication. Afterwards, we got back. However, the military issued a law to ban Facebook, and Twitter. Fortunately, we can access them by using VPN. FACT: There are news of draft issue of banning Internet and China-based IT technicians arriving in Myanmar.

6) Psychological Warfare: On Feb 6th, our Internet again cut off but not phone and SMS. Around 10 pm, SMS messages of release of ASSK sent across the country. Some people heard fireworks, some shouted for joy, some phoned, some were sceptical. Lastly, we knew it was an act played by the military. Psywar took a great mental toll to us. FACT: Some people received messages to get out and celebrate of ASSK news that posed a great danger where soldiers/policemen could shoot them due to curfew.

7) Social Punishment and Boycott Military Junta: Citizens started to boycott Mytel(SIM card), Dagon Beer and such products. Moreover, social influencers,who did not speak up about the coup and against it, lost their followers rapidly. For example, Aung La Nsang was stripped of being Myanmar Food Panda ambassdor due to being neutral. Thet Thet Khaing,a former NLD lawyer who founded a new party PPP and lost in Nov 2020 election, took side with the military. When she was promoted to minister, customers rushed to return their purchased jewellery to Shwe Nan Taw(owned by TTK's spouse). Ko Ko Lwin's family businesses(beauty salon and food retailer) is boycotted due to KKL's murder of Myat Thet Thet Khaing. FACT: I heard from someone official that even a well-known American university expelled a female student from a military background.

#myanmar #saveburma #savemyanmar #weneeddemocracy #weneedjustice #democracy #justice #hearthevoiceofmyanmar #hearvoiceofmyanmar #militarycoup #rejectmilitary #protest #un #helpus #police #civil disobedience movement #politics

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valeriehervo · 4 years

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"La première fois que j’ai vu Noah, il était affairé à déplacer des orangers dans la véranda de mes futurs beaux-parents. On voyait ses muscles se tendre sous la chemise, je me suis dit qu'il était beau cet homme, de dos.

C’est ma future belle-mère qui nous a présentés (rires) . La famille de Simon, mon futur mari, est éparpillée autour de la planète, et comme notre mariage coïncidait avec les 95 ans d’une arrière-grand-mère, il avait été décidé de doubler les festivités. Noah est arrivé dix jours avant. Son sourire soulignait ses pattes-d’oie et il avait un je ne sais quoi de patiné qui me touchait.

Très vite on a dépassé les banalités, il y avait un mélange de profondeur et d'excitation dans nos échanges, entre le bla-bla séduction de cocktail et les confidences de deux personnes qui ont envie de se connaître et tentent de masquer tant bien que mal une attirance réciproque.On a même disserté sur la séduction et les postures homme-femme. On a parlé choix de vie, du psy chez lequel il s’était allongé.

Célibataire, il répétait les mêmes scénarios, voués aux mêmes échecs…

J’étais à mille lieues de ma peau de future mariée. J'ai paniqué et cela m’a fait atterrir d’un coup, j’ai saisi un prétexte pour détaler. Il me troublait. Beaucoup. Trop.

Impossible de le regarder en face

Je ne le connaissais même pas et, surtout, j’allais me marier. En plus, il était à l’opposé de mon type d’homme. Simon est blond, genre Viking élancé, avec des yeux bleu glacier renversants. Noah a une carrure de bûcheron, des yeux et des cheveux noirs avec des mains d’ogre. Je me suis réfugiée dans le cellier. J’avais envie de pleurer et de me terrer dans un coin, et en même temps de hurler de joie sans savoir pourquoi.

J’avais changé de pilule et enchaîné deux plaquettes pour ne pas avoir mes règles ; je devais être à fleur de peau à cause des hormones et du stress du mariage. J’ai vécu les heures qui ont suivi en flottant comme sous l’effet d’un gros décalage horaire, j’observais les gens s’agiter dans la maison comme on regarde un film.

Quand je pensais à Noah, c’est-à-dire tout le temps, j’avais des bouffées d’angoisse. Je l’ai revu le soir, c’était imparable puisque la propriété des parents de Simon faisait " club de vacances familial ". Impossible de le regarder en face.

Il a pris la situation en main : "Si on faisait un tour dehors ? "

Trop intense, trop lourd, trop beau

On a parlé de nos enfances, de nos goûts, de l’appartement dont on rêvait, je m’efforçais d’inclure "Simon et moi " et "nous " dans mes phrases, comme si le prénom de mon futur mari allait faire bouclier à ce qu’il était en train de se produire. J’étais fébrile, je tremblais par 25°C, j’étais terrorisée, tout en me sentant à un moment unique de ma vie, qui ne se reproduirait pas et qu’il ne fallait pas laisser filer.

Ça fait guimauve, mais c’était ça… Nous n’étions pas en train de nous découvrir. Non : nous nous révélions l’un à l’autre. Quand il a pris ma main, nos doigts se sont entrecroisés dans une caresse qui nous a semblé habituelle, comme si j’avais toujours eu ses doigts contre les miens. Sa peau non plus ne m’était pas étrangère. On a mis du temps avant de s’embrasser, car nous étions submergés par un besoin compulsif de verbaliser encore et encore ce qu’il nous arrivait, de matérialiser ce que nous ressentions par des mots.

La culpabilité était là aussi… Il fallait que ça sorte, c’était trop, trop intense, trop lourd, trop beau, trop absurde… En une journée, une vie change de cap. Ça met la trouille au ventre. Se parler c’était faire exister le début de notre histoire… et se l’autoriser. C’est avec Noah que je voulais vivre.

De retour de balade, j’ai pris de plein fouet la réalité : j’avais 29 ans et je me mariais dans neuf jours. J’ai vécu K-O debout et perdu trois kilos en quarante-huit heures. Dans mon cerveau c’était les 24 Heures du Mans. Me marier ? Annuler ? Simuler l’appendicite pour filer à l’hôpital ? J’aimais Simon et je n’ai pas cessé de l’aimer du jour au lendemain, d’où la douleur de la situation.

Au bord du précipice

Je sais ce qu’on dit sur ces rencontres : qu’il faut être disponible affectivement, qu’il y a des problèmes refoulés dans le couple. Nous n’en avions pas, ni au lit, ni dans la vie.

Comment fait-on lorsqu’on doit épouser un homme à qui on n’a rien à reprocher et qu’on sait qu’on va faire sa vie avec un autre ? J’étais au bord du précipice, sans personne à qui me confier. Pour ne pas me noyer, je n’ai pensé qu’à Simon, pas à la famille ni à la fête. Si j’annulais, il y aurait les 95 ans de l’arrière-grand-mère, ils ne seraient pas venus pour rien…

J’ai choisi de me marier et de nous offrir d’aller au bout de notre histoire sans rien abîmer, en sachant que je divorcerais ensuite. Bien sûr que je me suis demandé si je n’étais pas lamentablement lâche, incapable d’assumer, minable.

Noah n'a rien dit. Il a hoché la tête pendant un long moment, sans me quitter des yeux. Je savais, nous savions qu’on se retrouverait après.

Le jour J, lorsque j’ai enfilé ma belle robe de mariée, j’ai fondu en larmes, j’allais vers la fin de mon histoire avec Simon. Une tante m’a tendu un verre de liqueur, et j’ai endossé le rôle. Ma robe était somptueuse, très Vivienne Westwood : un bustier en soie et dentelle bordé de minuscules plumes, le bas était une grosse meringue avec de petits nœuds relevant les côtés. Cérémonie, dîner… Tout était organisé au cordeau, on nous parlait non-stop, je me suis laissé porter, j’ai assisté à mon mariage plus que je l’ai vécu.

Trouver le moins mauvais moment pour rompre

Noah s’est assis loin de notre table. J’ai cessé de le regarder pour ne pas m’effondrer. Le lendemain, il a pris l’avion. Un mois et demi après le mariage, je l’ai rejoint chez lui, à Bangkok.

Fonctionnaire internationale, je pars souvent à l’étranger pour des missions. Pendant six mois, je les ai enchaînées, avec de brefs retours en France. En fait, je prenais des congés sans solde pour rester avec Noah. C’était magique, mais quand je pensais à Simon, ça me tordait le ventre. J’avais mal pour lui, même s’il ne savait rien encore. Je fuyais, je n’en suis pas fière, mais je redoutais de lui parler du divorce, et plus j’attendais moins je voyais comment m’y prendre. J’essayais de trouver le moins mauvais moment pour le faire. Il n’y en avait pas.

A l’issue de ces six mois, et donc presque huit mois après le mariage, je lui ai enfin parlé, comme on fonce dans un mur en écrasant la pédale de l’accélérateur, en retenant mon souffle.

D’ordinaire expansif, Simon est resté assis sur le bord du canapé en regardant ses mains serrées entre ses genoux, sans tourner les yeux vers moi. J’aurais préféré la colère, des mots qui cinglent comme des baffes, qu’il claque les portes, qu’il hurle que je m’étais foutue de sa gueule. Rien. J’ai fait un geste vers lui, il m’a repoussée et est allé s’enfermer dans notre chambre. Il a tourné la clé.

Plusieurs fois, j’ai frappé. Silence. Sa réaction ne collait tellement pas avec ce qu’il est que j’ai eu peur qu’il fasse une connerie . Mais j’entendais le parquet craquer… Il n’est ressorti que le lendemain, pour partir travailler. J’étais désemparée.

Quels mots pouvaient être à la hauteur ? Avec le recul je pense que je me suis arrangée pour croire que sa déception et sa tristesse s’estomperaient vite, et je n’ai pas mesuré sa souffrance. Un an après le divorce j’ai croisé l’un de ses collègues, qui m’a dit que Simon avait morflé . Pour qu’un quasi-inconnu me dise ça…

Avec la famille de Simon – et donc celle de Noah – ce fut la guerre. J’ai tout entendu, de petite fille pourrie gâtée à irresponsable et inconséquente . Noah aussi s’en est pris plein la figure. Nous nous sommes mariés en 2010. Surtout pour que nos familles acceptent enfin notre amour, car après douze ans nous restions ceux par qui le malheur était arrivé. On nous toisait sévèrement, comme si notre couple était incestueux, alors que nous n’avions aucun lien familial et qu’on s’aime. Tout simplement.

Simon, lui, n’a jamais voulu nous revoir.

Et pourquoi pas ?

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