#the difference of course being loop has a second chance in life

[codacheetah]

[maple-the-awesome]

Friend or Foe || Part 1/3

Part 2 || Part 3

Pairings: Four, Hyrule, Legend x GN Reader

Overview: Link visits an alternate world without its hero and, more importantly, a version of you without your Link. Unfortunately, it seems even the smallest of details can lead to disastrous results. In spirt of October and Halloween, I've decided to do a little evil prompt because none of the Links have enough emotional damage yet😈

Zelda Masterlist 💙Fandom Masterlist

Four has known you since childhood, both of your families having been good friends for generations. You've always been peas in a pot together with a level of closeness that results in a lot of ‘old married couple’ jokes. You're usually the first person Four returns to after his adventures, never sparing a single detail as he knows he can trust you with his life if it were to come down to it which makes this situation so perplexing...

This you is nothing like his dear friend back home. You don't have that same sweet smile that makes his heart do loops of delight, rather a wicked grin that makes his stomach turn in disgust. When he heard murmurs about an evil magic-wielder terrorizing this world, it would've been his last guess that such a person could look exactly like you - same face, same name, same everything!

"What an interesting assortment of weapons, especially this one!" Four bites back a snarl when this cursed version of you holds the Four Sword high into the sky with a teasing smirk, "It's practically dripping with magic. Where did you get it? ...Still not going to answer me? Oh, but you were so talkative earlier - what, with all your meaningless questions and desperate begging.”

Trapped behind cold iron bars, all Four can do is watch helplessly as you search through the rest of the items you’ve stolen from him, making little comments here and there which he refuses to acknowledge (he’s learned from Vaati that responses are only encouragement). The others should be here to rescue him soon anyway. In the meantime, he’s trying to make sense of this whole situation as he has been since you first caught him.

'This just can't be our flower. I refuse to believe it. They'd never be so cruel to us like this! They're our friend!' 

'Of course they aren’t, you idiot! There's no way they'd be evil at all! This scum is an imposter and the second we get out of this prison we'll teach them a lesson about why they shouldn’t dare tarnish an angel's name like -!'

'- Calm down. We're in a different version of Hyrule which means this is more than likely this kingdom’s version of -'

'- Hogwash! Don’t you dare finish that sentence! They'd never act like this even in a different world!'

'I don’t want to believe it either, however the fact of the matter is it isn’t impossible. Think about it. Everything about this world is similar to our own excluding our existence. There is no hero meaning we weren’t ever there to protect them. Did you think about that?'

'...No...'

'That's so sad!'

Four must agree with his arguing thoughts. Although this you isn't the one he has waiting for him back home, he can't help feeling some pity towards you, refusing to believe you could simply be born evil. Something led you down this path you currently trek, and maybe this world isn't necessarily within his range of responsibility, however he still feels a bit guilty for not being able to help any version of you, here or there.

Hyrule met you shortly after meeting Zelda which was natural considering you were the eldest child of the crown. He must admit he's unfortunately never gotten the chance to know you too well, seeing as you have so many responsibilities that keep you busy while he, himself, is often sidetracked venturing through a broken world, yet nevertheless, he does know you to be a kind and generous leader - someone he’s always admired very deeply which is why he’s having so much trouble accepting you could ever be like this…

This kingdom has a sort of sadness that flows throughout the dusty sky and crumbled grass. Legend mentioned something about visiting a kingdom like it before, although Hyrule wonders now if all aspects of the Vet's experiences would match. He would ask, however such a question wouldn't be appropriate at the moment given as both heroes have been brought to their knees, spears held close to their heads to keep them submissive (not that it gets rid of Legend's scowl).

When Hyrule first laid eyes on you while being forced him to take a knee in front of your throne, he had been relieved, so certain that you'd immediately wave off your hostile guards and take note of the obvious misunderstanding that has occurred, after all this traveler is a dear friend of yours who should be treated as such. Alas, Hyrule shivers instead, frozen under your cold gaze as you glare down upon Legend and him.

"These are the heroes you found? I thought they'd be taller - more a threat than little mice," You sigh boredly with your head rested against your hand, although you do take a second longer to admire Hyrule, smirking at the boy who unlike his feisty friend looks absolutely petrified to be in your presences. 

Pushing yourself off your throne, you approach the poor boy and kneel before him. Despite his attempt to flinch away, you still succeed in running your hand against his cheek, "...Oh, but you're a cutie, aren't you? A rare gem in a world so broken."

At least you're aware of the current status of this kingdom. Hyrule would like to think that with some bitterness in mind, however he actually manages to feel sympathetic while watching you wander back to your throne, not missing that frown upon your face. 

It’s then that he’s reminded of a story his friends and him were told upon arrival here - that this world’s hero had died tragically many years ago. There’s no evidence that this world’s current state is because of you which means you could’ve simply inherited a cursed throne and allowed your own heart to hardened under the depressing circumstances, a fate Hyrule fears might have easily occurred to his own version of you as well if not for the support you had received from your siblings and himself. If only you weren’t alone in this world. Maybe then you could have become a beloved queen here, too.

Legend denies that he ever knew you; it hurts too much to accept otherwise. For the short time that he had known you, you had been a light in his life, always so sweet and magical in a way that could lift even the darkest of thoughts. There's a side of him who wishes every night that he'll be blessed with a dream about you because much to his dismay, that's his only way of seeing you again. He'd give anything to meet you in person once more even if for just a second, but not like this...

He's trying hard to keep the scowl on his face - trying to act unintimated, trying to act annoyed - despite how much his heart is aching deep down. He can feel his eyes burning. He can taste iron as he bites down upon his lip, praying to Hylia he'll wake up any moment now.

Promptly after arriving in this Hyrule, the Chain had received several warnings from locals about a ‘demon’ which lurks in the night. They claim that the creature only ever appears in the shadows, preying upon weak minds and cursing them with cruel nightmares. 

Legend, of course, dismissed it all as a story meant to scare children, even going as far as to give Warrior a hard time for being jumpy while the group was setting up camp in a forest right outside of town. Unlike some of the others, Legend doesn’t care if the wind whispers or how certain trees around them look like faces, and he was actually sleeping quite well amongst it all until getting up to go to the bathroom. 

Walking back into camp, he had been alarmed to notice a cloaked figure hovering right above Wild, their hand outstretched towards his head as the Champion shifted and whimpered in his sleep. Everyone else appeared to already be in similar states of distress, even Time’s stone expression crinkled in pain.

"HEY! GET AWAY FROM THEM!" Legend was quick to shout, catching the monster's attention before drawing his sword which he had thankfully taken with him earlier. He planned on fighting off the beast then hopefully waking the others from their nightmares, yet instead he found himself trapped in one of his own when the cloaked figure removed their hood.

Now he can't move, frozen in terror as he tries desperately to shake the feeling...No...No, it can't be you. This is a trick - an illusion the monster has created to mess with him. You would never stain your beautiful face with such a wicked smile. You'd never hurt anything or anyone the way this thing already has!

Regardless of his doubt, Legend can only shake as you approach a lot faster than he can process, likely aided by your ability to effortlessly float his way. Whether due to a spell of yours or a result of his own weak will, he doesn't jerk away like he wants to when you run a hand over his cheek, cooing in a mocking way, "Aw, get a lot of nightmares, do you honey?"

"N-No. Not at all," He manages, at last finding the strength to swing your way which is an action helped by closing his eyes. If he can't see your face, he won't have to battle his concern over hurting you; he can better convince himself that you aren't truly here as you've never been.

"Liar," You easily dodge him, using merely two fingers to grab his sword midair. Keeping it in place, you lean forward, your breath making his legs wobble as the tears finally begin to prick in the corners of his eyes, "I can read your thoughts - see your fears…Oh, but this is far worse than any nightmare you've had, isn't it, my dear? Far worse than any I could bestow upon you with my magic. Poor thing. You miss them terribly, don't you? If that's the case, then you shouldn’t avoid me so. Soak it up. Remember what I look like. After all, it's the last chance you'll ever get to reach out and touch me."

[heliads]

Lisa, babe, it cannot be properly expressed how excited I am that you’re writing for Narnia now!! As such, I would like to present a request:

May I please ask for Peter Pevensie with a male Reader who’s one of the knights personally assigned with protecting the High King while the Pevensies are still in Narnia the first time?? Reader is completely smitten with Peter and they have a friend-like relationship, but Reader is way too scared to make a move because A) he doesn’t think he, a mere knight, is worthy of being a in a relationship with the High King, and B) he doesn’t even know if Peter likes guys, and that kind of thing may be fine in Narnia but he knows Peter’s from a different place and he can’t be sure. But when the Reader gets seriously injured protecting Peter during a battle and wakes up in the palace infirmary, Peter scolds him for doing reckless stuff like that and winds up confessing his feelings for the Reader in the process. And mayyybbbeee it ends with a cute little kiss??

Again, if you don’t want to write this it’s totally fine!! Hope you’re doing well, Lisa my beloved!! 💛💛💛

anything for peter and also for raven

masterlist

The High King of Narnia is swinging his sword in a lazy circle, eyes wide but still guarded. His easy expression is a trick, it usually is. Someone sees a boy when they should see a fighter. He lures you in by making you think that he’ll be someone you can kill. He isn’t.

His attacker rises to the bait and lunges for his throat. Peter Pevensie reacts in the nick of time, clanging steel against steel as he forces the sword away. The parry is fast, strong, the product of years of practice. It comes to him like breath:  quick, even, second nature. He probably isn’t thinking about it, just saves his own life by habit. 

The steps fall into place like dominoes. Strike, counterattack. Jerk backward, push forward. His attacker stumbles for a second, and Peter seizes his chance to lunge for the man’s chest. Sword would pierce armor, but it doesn’t. The man has drawn a second blade while Peter was distracted with an imminent victory, a knife that fits easily in his palm. The attacker side steps, then ducks under Peter’s outstretched arm to rise back up behind him and hold the blade to the king’s throat.

“You’re so dead,” you say, then shove the knife back in your belt loop so you can tap your finger against the base of his skull instead of using the sharp metal. “You keep getting distracted, what did I tell you? Always keep your eyes open.”

Peter groans, raising his free arm so he can wipe the sweat from his brow. “That’s unfair. You said we’d only be fighting with swords, not knives too.”

The back of his neck flushes an unhappy red as he says it, though, and after many years of being at his side you can tell what he’s thinking, hating himself for complaining. Kings don’t argue, they don’t preach right and wrong. They take what is given to them and they handle it with grace. Peter’s still trying to work on that bit.

“Life isn’t fair,” you tell him simply, grinning when he harrumphs, “and your opponents won’t be likely to stick to the rules when they’re trying to kill you. I’m just trying to make sure you stay alive in battle.”

Peter turns around, lips still pursed with displeasure but starting to creep up at the corners. “And I’m grateful for that, truly. Although I do swear you get more joy out of beating on me than most soldiers are supposed to.”

You arch a brow, feigning innocence. “I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Of course you don’t,” Peter says, looking like he’s using every bit of his royal patience not to roll his eyes. “Another round?”

“Ready as always,” you say, raising your sword once more.

Peter follows suit, shifting into a ready stance for one more round of sparring practice, one more chance to improve before the next calamity strikes the castle. Narnia is peaceful most of the time, but when it isn’t– well, anything can happen then.

That’s your job, then, to make sure the crown is protected in the case of disaster. There are four royals, four people for you to watch and carry through danger, but only one of them is your primary focus. Susan and Edmund and Lucy are still under your umbrella of attention, but you were specifically appointed to the personal guard of High King Peter. 

That’s why you’re out here now, training with him under the rising sun until the hour is up and he has to retreat inside again for diplomatic and political duties. Peter has told you several times before that he’d rather fight out here for longer and longer, which is why you make sure to keep careful track of the time. 

Without your monitoring eye, Peter would gladly spend far too long out in the training yard ‘by accident’ and miss his meetings. Then he’d feel guilty for abandoning his duty to his country, overthinking what he does because it’s only him and his siblings protecting the entire nation.

You have to protect him against not only enemy soldiers but himself as well, then. It’s not a burden you take lightly, but one you bear with pride. Peter is– well, he’s your king, obviously, but in the time since you were first given this position at his side, he’s also become your friend.

That was the easy part. Peter is a golden, lionhearted king, and to know him is to wish to get along with him. Peter does not make you feel the divide of royal to subject, king to soldier. He is just Peter, and you are just Y/N, and together, you are the finest men that Narnia could ever want.

What complicated everything was what happened after you got to know him. Peter makes it simple to like him. It also follows, then, that falling in love with him would be like second nature. You cannot decide just when it happened, between blows of your sword or stalking through the corridors of his castle or somewhere, anywhere else, but happen it did. 

Peter makes you stutter even when you’re most confident, he convinces your heart to skip a beat when it’s never been anything but steady. You suppose you should despise him for making you so unsure of yourself, but you have never been able to do anything but love him, so love him you shall indeed.

Perhaps there will be a day in the future when you let down your guard, accept the slow stroke of death towards your heart, and tell Peter how you feel. Perhaps he’d even love you back. You never know for sure.

There had been a time once, a few months back, when you almost convinced yourself that it could be real, him loving you. Peter had allowed himself to indulge in something foolish and borrowed a bottle of wine and two glasses from the castle stores. He’d dragged you up to the battlements, a secluded place where no one could see you, and the two of you had drunk and stared up at the stars.

You don’t think you could remember that night if you tried. Peter was tilting his head back, golden curls hanging low near his shoulders as he stared at the sky above. You stared at him instead; the stars looked best when they were reflected in his eyes, anyway, and it made for a prettier picture than any dark expanse of night.

It had occurred to you that Peter would never do this with anyone else. Let himself be free, that is. The two of you were laughing over something foolish and he was more yours than he had ever belonged to anybody. There were talks once, of Peter looking to foreign nations for a suitor, and he had shut them down quickly, looking to you for confirmation before any of his siblings. That meant something, didn’t it? It had to have meant something.

And for a moment there, wine sweet on your tongue, you convinced yourself that you could do it, you could have a king. He would be yours. You would be happy. The two of you would live and die in this castle, and for once in your life, everything would feel right.

The thought of it shocked you into sobriety. There is a problem at the base of all this, many problems all spiraling into one:  Peter is a king, and you are not. You are his faithful servant, the blade in his hands, but not a fellow ruler, never that. Peter is not in a position in which he can marry for love.

And, even if he was, who is to say that he would pick you? Peter is not from this land, and you know not the customs of the place where he was born. Men can marry other men in Narnia, but that is no guarantee in Peter’s mind. You would have no way of knowing for sure, he’s certainly never brought it up to you.

That night was a reminder you obviously needed, one that you would not be able to end up with Peter unless a miracle came your way. Until the impossible happens, though, until the sky falls and the moon rises with the sun, you’ll have to keep on hoping for a love that will never be yours.

Sometimes, though, sometimes you’re sure that he might like you back. You’re pondering the issue later that night, after your training session with Peter ends and hazy twilight falls upon the surrounding hills. You have slipped away from most of the crowds to a quieter place down the hall, and scarcely five minutes have passed from your departure before someone sits down next to you. Peter.

He grins at you, the light of the lamps shining gold upon his hair. “What, sick of us already?”

You laugh. “Just the noise. It’s been a long week.”

“Tell me about it,” Peter says, blowing out his breath in one slow whoosh. “I think I set a personal record today for the most meetings with cabinets and political figureheads.”

You laugh. He watches. “Don’t forget that we’ll be leaving early tomorrow for another diplomatic journey. If we’re lucky, we won’t have to be up before dawn.”

Peter grimaces. “Oh, I almost forgot about that. Glad to have you reminding me. What would I do without you? You had better not switch careers or I’ll be completely out of sorts.”

You shake your head. “I’d never leave, you won’t have to worry. I am a soldier. Soldiers follow their king.”

“In anything?” Peter asks, throat dry.

“Anything,” you tell him, “Anything that you ask of me.”

“Alright,” he says, and leans back again.

His sudden absence makes you feel cold again, and you can’t shake the thought that perhaps you’ve done something wrong. “Is– is that okay?”

“Y/N,” Peter says, slowly, tenderly, “it is perfect.”

He is busy after that, other soldiers call him away, but the feeling remains, burning inside your chest like a hot drink swallowed too quickly.

It is difficult to fall asleep that night, even though you need your rest. It’s just Peter out on this journey, he’ll be traveling to a nearby country to shore up relations. He does trips like this all the time, but that doesn’t stop them from being a royal pain.

You’re up early the next morning, riding next to Peter on your favorite horse. Other soldiers fill out your ranks, ensuring that Peter won’t be going alone. However, the party has hardly traveled for half an hour or so before you start spotting movement in the surrounding forest. There shouldn’t be anyone nearby, but that won’t stop robbers from congregating in the trees and waiting for a king to pass by.

One of your scouts ahead shouts that men have been spotted, and just like that, you’re under fire. Attackers descend from the sides of the road and you’re all flung into the thick of a battle. In the beginning, you’re directing blows at your enemies from your horse, but you see Peter dismount so he can help a fallen man and you jump off too. Where he goes, you go.

Peter heads further into the woods as he shifts his attention to the attackers on foot. You’re right behind him, just a few paces away, distracted by fighting the robber in front of you. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Peter dueling another man. The guy is taller than Peter, meaner looking, and as Peter lunges for the man’s throat, his opponent pulls a knife from his belt and slashes–

At you. It’s your blood seeping through your armor, not Peter’s. Not Peter’s, because you pushed him out of the way just in time, forcing the blow to strike your chest instead of your king’s. An odd sense of deja vu descends upon you; is this not what happened in the training session just the other day? You’d teased Peter for letting his guard down, for expecting the best of people who weren’t willing to be as good and kind as he was.

Funny that he didn’t learn his lesson. He didn’t have to, you suppose; he assumed you would be there, and you were. As the blood pools on the ground beneath you– you don’t remember falling, but your head aches from hitting the packed earth– you can only hope through gritted teeth that he’ll be able to remember it when you’re not here.

You won’t be, that’s the problem. It wasn’t just a glancing blow that hit you, it was a targeted stab aimed in just the right place to kill. This isn’t something you can walk off. You’re bleeding out as you lay here and wonder why you didn’t see this being your last moment.

It feels an awful lot like martyrdom, dying for Peter. Better than you thought it would. It makes it easier, somehow, knowing that even as the dagger pierced your armor and painted itself over in the red of your blood, he will continue breathing, continue living. Peter’s heart will continue to beat even after yours stops. Isn’t that all you can give him in the end, everything?

Peter is leaning over you now, shouting at you to stay with him, please. You can’t quite hear him, though. It’s as if he’s speaking through a veil, not really there. He’s cradling your head in his hands, you think, but it’s so hard to focus, and so much easier to close your eyes and sleep. You’ll wake up in a moment, you just want one minute of rest. Haven’t you done enough to deserve that by now?

You do open your eyes, but it feels like a lot of time has passed. You’re still lying down, but it’s warmer than the cold earth of that forest. You stare around you with hesitant eyes, and it takes a little while for you to register your surroundings, the stone and light of the castle infirmary. You don’t remember being brought back here. You don’t even remember when it was a guarantee that you would survive.

Something is touching your hand, and you look over to realize that it’s Peter. He’s gripping your palm between his hands like it’s a rosary he can pray with. He looks overwhelmingly relieved to see you conscious, and tells you as much himself.

“Don’t you ever do something like that again,” he says, voice shaky.

You try for a smile. It hurts more than it should. “What, save your life? That’s what I’m supposed to do.”

Peter shakes his head fervently. “Not when it costs your life. That’s not worth it.”

“It is to me,” you tell him.

“But what am I supposed to do without you?” He asks desperately.

You laugh quietly. “You’re a king, Peter. I think you’d figure it out.”

“No,” he says, “no, I wouldn’t. I thought you were dead, Y/N. I had no idea what to do with myself. I can’t live in a world without you. I won’t.”

You slowly raise your eyes to meet his. “Does that mean–”

“Yes,” he says in a rush, “Yes, I love you. I hadn’t wanted to say it, but it’s true and I need you to know it now. I thought you were going to die without me ever telling you, and that made me want to bleed out next to you. You don’t have to feel the same way, but–”

“I do,” you tell him, “I do love you. I have for a long time.”

For a moment, Peter’s expression loses his intensity and he just looks indignant. “And you didn’t tell me?”

You chuckle again, it’s easier than it was before. “You didn’t tell me, either.”

“Yes, but–” Peter has to take a moment to collect himself before continuing. “It doesn’t matter anymore. I love you. I love you, and you’re not ever sacrificing yourself for me again.”

You try to tell Peter that you don’t remember agreeing to that last bit, but he silences your arguments with a kiss, and you’re alright with letting that sort of happy quiet sink over you. Perhaps impossibilities aren’t quite so far out of your reach after all.

requested by @starlit-epiphany, i hope you enjoy!

narnia tag list: empty for now!

[oxygenbefore1775]

For reijeanweek day 5, I'd like to offer something for the prompt soulmates - something that can be barely classified as headcanons, just a very rough draft of something that might have taken place if aot world had soulmates.

My go-to soulmate subtrope for this outline is the soulmate's name appearing on the hand.

While Reiner and Jean do have each other's names written on their hands, therefore making them soulmates, but the problem is that Marley and Paradis are using different alphabets so they are unable to read each other's names since it looks like gibberish to them.

That is, until Reiner is sent to the Paradis and as a preparation for the invasion, he is taught Paradisian alphabet and can finally read the name. The revelation throws Reiner through a loop — since he realizes that his true love is actually one of the "Island Devils" that he is supposed to hate — but ultimately sows the future seeds of his disenchantment with the Marleyan propaganda.

Two years must pass after the Fall of Shiganshina before Reiner could finally meet Jean who, admittedly, doesn't make a great first impression but due to soulmate magic Reiner is head over heels for him nonetheless. Revealing the soulmate's name written is not very common (especially amongst the teenage boys who seem to be allergic to being vulnerable) and the fact that Reiner's name is not written in Paradisian alphabet would definitely raise some suspicions for Jean so Reiner decides not to reveal their soulmate bond to him, instead opting for pining for him by spending time during trainings and missions together.

Meanwhile, Jean has zero knowledge of the existence of the other alphabets so he is doomed to forever assume that the supposed name of his soulmate is nothing but gibberish. Ultimately Jean concludes that the one true love for him doesn't exists and becomes disenchanted with the concept of soulmates. That is, until Jean meets Reiner in the Cadet Corps. Unaware that one of his closest companions is, in fact, his soulmate, Jean begins to develop feelings for someone he believes is not destined for him. This leads him to contemplate the concept of serendipity, pondering the idea that he is free to love anyone of his choosing, rather than someone preordained by fate.

That belief is quick to change, though, once Reiner reveals his true allegiance and subsequently betrays Jean's feelings for him. After two battles against the Warriors — first within the interior of Wall Maria and second in Shiganshina — Jean finds himself completely heartbroken. In an attempt to cope, he comforts himself with the notion that love is ultimately not for him. Over the four years that follow, as Jean attempts to forget his feelings for Reiner and channel his sense of betrayal into hatred, he is utterly failing in both (in actuality it's just the soulmate bond the two of them have established over the year doing its magic).

Until the time comes for the Survey Corps to venture out onto the Continent where much later they start preparing for a raid on Liberio. Seeing as Jean was chosen to be one of the Paradis spies, he has to blend in with the Marleyan society which, of course, includes him learning the alphabet. And only then, seven years after their first encounter and living in ignorance, Jean realizes that Reiner was his soulmate all along. Many thoughts race through Jean's head at the onset of this revelation. Some of them are relief that he is in fact entitled to love in his life. Some of them are justified frustration with Reiner that never told him about this despite presumably finding out about that years in ahead. Yet, the most persistent thought lingering in his mind is the anticipation of their impending encounter in Liberio — an encounter that won't resemble the reunion of lovers in the slightest.

(But Jean will find him and make it work, at least one of them has to be decisive, after finally getting their chance to experience love again)

And that's essentially where it concludes, since I find myself at a loss for a fitting ending to this narrative. Consider this my collection of musings. It will await the insight of someone wiser who may craft a more logical ending for all of this.

[hiiroamagisbestfriend]

Ello there :D could I request going on a first date with Kohaku and Natsume both of them being separate pls :>

First Date Headcanons!

w/ Kohaku Oukawa & Natsume Sakasaki x GN! Reader

i actually tried so hard to make sure these were dates this time around

Warnings: Kohaku has a very small panic attack on his, but it gets resolved in like seconds. Otherwise it's all clear!

Kohaku Oukawa

✩ You'd probably be the one to ask Kohaku out. Not that he's shy or anything (okay, maybe a little) but because he doesn't really know much about dates and romance.

✩ Now, where would you take someone like that? Someplace where he can experience and try tons of new things? Why, the natural answer would be the amusement park of course!

✩ Whether it be rides, attractions, games, food, there's no shortage of new things to show him. He spent quite a lot of his life indoors or "working" after all.

✩ It also wouldn't hurt to let him experience crowded places, considering the friends he had growing up were either his Bon, or people online.

✩ Before the date, Kohaku had the brilliant idea to ask Aira for advice. Aira looked like he would be experienced in this field after all, with his constant talking of love and such.

✩ Obviously, Aira, having no experience himself; had no idea what to tell him, conjuring up all the knowledge he gathered from manga and fanfics to try and answer Kohaku properly.

✩ Just the standard stuff like offering to hold his hand if ever you were to get scared, or riding swan boats and other love themed rides.

✩ When the day finally came, Kohaku couldn't get a wink of sleep. He would never admit it, but he was quite excited. He spent a while trying to pick out clothes, wondering if something more casual and sporty would fit better than something more cool and romantic.

✩ Then he remembers he has no personal fashion sense at all, seeing as all his clothes were just stuff he got from looking up popular and trendy clothes. Well, at least they all looked good, especially on him.

✩ He'd arrive a good 2 hours or so earlier than you. Just standing around the entrance like a lost puppy. His eyes practically sparkling when he saw you walking towards him.

"Ah, you're already here! Sorry, did I make you wait long?" Kohaku shook his head like crazy, before reciting a line that he practiced with Aira beforehand.

"Nah, I just got here." Kohaku smirked internally, knowing that this should alleviate your nerves if you thought he had waited long.

The two of you got your tickets and a complementary map, before snapping a photo together near the entrance.

"Where do ya' wanna go first, (Y/N)?" He'd ask even though he already planned a whole itinerary beforehand. He values your opinion after all.

When you tell him that it's up to him, he would gladly take you by the hand and drag you towards the more popular rides. It's still early, so now's the best chance to get on them before lots of people show up.

✩ The very first ride he brought you to seemed like a very, very extreme roller coaster. His face visibly darkened when he saw all the loops and turns, but he decided to tough it out for you.

✩ When the two of you got on, his heart was already about to leap out of his chest. Sure he's a man used to these kinds of "life-threatening" scenarios, but it's different when you're beside him.

✩ Just as the roller coaster would start it's slow ascent, Kohaku would definitely start regretting his decision. His hands would start shaking and he'd find it harder to breathe.

✩ Right before the big drop though, he'd feel your hands on top of his, his eyes wandering to your face. You were looking him right in the eyes, as if you were trying to telepathically tell him:

Don't worry. I'll protect you.

✩ He'd feel about 30 times lighter after that. The feeling of being protected or cared for isn't something he was very used to, what with the life and job that he had.

✩ But before he knew it, the roller coaster dropped and he wasn't scared at all. Sure, he was screaming, but it was because he just felt so safe beside you that he could truly let himself relax and be vulnerable.

✩ He couldn't even care that he didn't get to act all cool like Aira instructed him to. He was just too goshdarn happy seeing you care for him this much.

✩ When you two got off the ride, he couldn't help but wrap you in a hug, only stopping when he realized you two were holding up a line.

✩ Still though, even after your hug was broken up, he had a firm grip on your hand. What you did back then was so simple, but it meant a lot to him, it really did.

✩ It was then he saw those game booths handing out cute plushies or toys, pointing at the stands before pulling you towards them.

Kohaku watches your eyes fixate on a prize. It seemed like a pretty big plushie of an animal you liked. With that, a fire was lit inside him, he was going to get that for you even if he had to use all his money for it.

"Ya' want that one, dontcha?" Kohaku couldn't help but smile too when you beamed at him while nodding like crazy. "Alright. Guess it's time for me to show ya' my cool side, yeah?" He feels a bit embarrassed saying it, but he did mean it.

✩ Cue a good 20 minutes of Kohaku getting absolutely wrecked at that shooting game. He'd think his skills would come in handy in a situation like this, but it seems even he's not strong enough for rigged amusement park games.

✩ His face was as pink as his hair at this point, losing confidence with each failed attempt, only to want to try again harder when he saw your expectant face.

"One more! I'll get it for sure next time!" Kohaku shouted out, before fishing his wallet for more money, only to have the grim realization that it was completely empty.

He'd turn to look at you, afraid that you'd be disappointed at him for failing this badly. He really messed up big time here did he? Not only did he not get you the plushie, now he's out of money that he could've spent for food or other stuff.

His eyes would get a bit misty before he feels your hand on top of his head, gently caressing it so that it wouldn't mess with the hair he spent an hour styling.

"You did great! It's a shame you couldn't get it, but you looked super cool holding that toy rifle!" Kohaku felt faint, he couldn't keep taking these critical hits to the heart. "Come on, cheer up! I saw some cute looking sweets over there, I'll go buy you some, so give me a smile!"

Kohaku couldn't even reply before you were the one dragging him somewhere. You really are so cool in his eyes. He's done nothing but blunders this entire date, couldn't there be something he can do to make your heart race for a change?

He sifted through the things he discussed with Aira before coming up blank. All the intricate plans they made, he'd probably mess up at this rate. How could he possibly make you as happy as you made him?

"Kohaku, you okay? You've got quite the face!" The man in question had a very puzzled face after all, thinking real hard on what he could possibly do. Oops, he should probably answer you.

"Ah, yeah. I was jus' thinking about how much I love ya'." He did not notice the big goofy grin on your face as it became tinted red, and maybe that was for the best.

Natsume Sakasaki

✩ Natsume would be the one to ask you out. For what you say? Well he called it a surprise, so you don't get to know.

✩ He just told you to get ready, and he'll come pick you up at your place. Not even telling you what kind of clothes to wear so that it'll truly be a surprise.

✩ That was already the first spell he cast on you, when a human doesn't know what's about to come, their mind starts exploring and creating answers for them. Natsume wanted you to feel so excited for this date that you'd fantasize about what it could be.

✩ Of course, he'd have to make sure things on his end were going great as well. If he disappointed you of all people he really would have no right calling himself a magician.

✩ When the time for the date came, you heard some soft knocks on your door. Opening it to see Natsume wearing a nice button up and pants with a matching tie. Hm, so it was a formal kind of date then.

✩ You wanted to go back and change to match with Natsume, but he'd just pull you in by the arm, a soft thud resounding as you bumped into his chest.

"You already look perfect, kitTEN." Natsume whispered into your ear before planting a kiss on your forehead. You couldn't help but get caught off guard, he sure plays hard and fast doesn't he? "Now then, shall we gO?"

He would lead you into a fancy looking car, opening the door for you and waiting for you to go in before he does. When the two of you are seated, the person behind the wheel that looked kind of like Tsumugi started to drive at a leisurely pace.

Time passes before you know it and the sun has already sunk when the two of you get dropped off at a nice looking park. Natsume takes you by the hand to an already set up picnic, with food and drinks that would cater to any cravings.

He signals for you to sit down before doing so himself, sitting opposite to you in the aptly sized blanket.

While the date was certainly romantic so far, it was quite simple in execution. It was Natsume that planned this whole thing, so you were kind of expecting it to be a bit more, how do you say this; out there?

As if he read your mind, Natsume tucked a hair behind your ear before speaking. "Worry not, kitTEN. The night has only just beGUN." He threw in a wink too, crafty bastard.

✩ Though he said that, the date seemed to progress as naturally as a picnic date would. The two of you eating and chatting about nothing important.

✩ Sure Natsume would throw in a cheeky remark or try to feed you something every now and then, but it was still just a sort of normal date?

✩ Of course this too, was simply a part of his spell. He had planned a very grand declaration of love after all, but he needs you to be just slightly disheartened before he puts his plan into action.

✩ Soon enough, it was fully night time and the stars had come with the moon to say their greetings to you two.

Seemingly out of thin air, Natsume pulled out a telescope. Motioning for you to peer into it. "Do you see iT?" The telescope was already positioned, showing you a constellation of three stars connected like a triangle.

It was a very pretty constellation, and the view of the night sky was honestly breathtaking enough to warrant this entire date.

"This constellation is called the summer triANGLE. It represents two lovers, Vega and Altair, that were seperated by the milky waY." That story made you a bit sad, being a romantic yourself. "Luckily, the other star, Deneb serves as the bridge for them to meeT."

You pulled away from the telescope after feeling a tap on your shoulder. Natsume put his hand behind your ear again, but this time procuring a cute pendant with a star on it. "My Vega, even if the universe intends on tearing us aPART. I will always, always find my way back to yoU."

He pulls out a similar looking pendant that he was hiding under his clothes, before putting the one in his hand around your neck. Natsume then closes the distance between you two, your faces inches away from each other.

He guides your hand to his pendant, before bringing yours closer to it, showing that the two of them connect when brought together. "This, I promise. With the thousand stars in the sky as my witness."

It seemed Natsume dropped his usual way of speaking, but you could probably let it slide this one time. How could you say no to him when his face looks so red as he recites these cheesy yet incredibly romantic lines?

"I love you, (Y/N)." Natsume smiled at you softly, before closing the distance between your lips.

AAAA done! hope these were to your liking anon ^^

[basedbogwizard]

gudao/angra mainyu ship manifesto/essay because I’ve finally lost my mind

think about it like this: angra mainyu is all the world’s evils, a scapegoat for a village’s misfortune. he never wanted this, and yet it became a core part of his identity. his remaining sense of ego is a miracle, even if it’s been fundamentally changed by their curses, even if “his” true name has been removed from existence.

and yet in fha, he lives in the skin of someone who is loved, someone surrounded by friends who care for his well-being. prepared meals, romantic sunsets, summer time fun. and it changes him. he sacrifices this endless loop of false joy so that the living could continue on. he lets go of the one chance at happiness available to all the world’s evil.

ritsuka is the last master of humanity. he is a mage of little talent, save his abilities as a master and his connections to his servants. over and over again, he’s forced to destroy countless doomed worlds, in hopes of restoring his own. how is he meant to be a hero? how could he possibly feel like this is the right thing to do?

I think they would have a lot to discuss as these figures chosen by forces out of their control to be grand representatives: angra mainyu, as the bearer of the world’s sons, and ritsuka, as the bearer of the hopes of humanity. because neither of them perfectly fit those roles, no matter what they feel or what other people expect of them.

I think gudao would see angra mainyu as one of the few servants he can connect with. I have a headcanon that in general, ritsuka still struggles with juggling the different power levels and personalities of all these larger than life heroes, even into the lostbelts. (don’t even get me started on the possible body dysmorphia/low self esteem you might get when you’re surrounded by hundreds of people summoned in the prime of their life…) in comparison, angra mainyu is Just Some Guy who happens to be really good at killing humans. angra mainyu might be one of the few people besides mash that gudao would be able to talk to on a normal level, because hey, they’re both just two dudes, right? what’s better than this??? just guys bein dudes…

with angra mainyu’s history, I think he would be a surprising pillar of support for gudao during his journey. he reminds ritsuka that he is still just a human, perfectly flawed, despite what chaldea considers him, and despite how his actions in the lostbelts make him feel. he delivers this, of course, in his own foul mouthed way, with jabs at when ritsuka tries to pretend like he believes that everything he’s doing is right and just in the name of PHH, but ritsuka learns to read between the lines, especially when angra comes knocking with the dinner ritsuka forgot to get that night.

(i also think they would be very cute together. i need to see them tease each other, I need to see ritsuka catch angra in the middle of an awful prank. I need angra to try so hard and fail at making something for ritsuka because he thought it would be quicker to bake some cookies for 1 second at 3000 degrees Celsius or smth. im sorry im sick in the head about them.)

[liauditore]

LIAU MY BELOVED

ask game question

Jimmy x Martyn

:D

romeo asking for mirror birds in MY ask box?!!?!??!?!?! (i know u pref mirror birds but solidwood is too funny im so sorry)

ah yeah. these losers.

see, a lot of my thoughts surrounding these two would kind of spoil my own AU that i never make stuff for so im usually somewhat hesitant to talk about them but basically., (toxic!fh mention)

post-evo divorced property police is so real. ive always imagined it as a childhood friends situation, with martyn being a bit older than jimmy.

they probably caught feelings for eachother fairly late and already well into teenhood but neither of them were really sure what it was (this is maybe going a little bit into sexuality hc territory but ive always imagined jimmy as whatever the male equivalent of a useless lesbian is and martyns biphobic towards himself lmao).

i touched on this briefly in that one fic i wrote but i've always headcanoned martyn as being somewhat parentified and thus ties his worthiness to be loved into his ability to perform acts of service for someone rather than just.. existing and letting himself be loved.

so as jimmy became more independent, martyn becomes a bit more insecure about their friendship. this becomes a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy as he distances himself from jimmy, feeling like jimmy wouldn't love him if he didn't Need him, and jimmy in return feels confused and hurt as he helplessly watches someone he knew all his life drift away.

that + jimmy has this not-so-subtle crush on scott that martyn's always suspected. he's a jealous bitch.

The storm formed after a final sip, my fingertips frozen solid, I pretend that again I can see, you past the rails, ready to meet And I wonder is it too much to ask, to once more, hold you warm in my hands? To accept I can’t forget, and embrace what still fails to fade?

Milk Tea (Oktavia's translyrics) (because I wasn't kidding when I said these two were cheesy yuri to me lmao)

we had a clown to clown communication moment i think cus I also love the idea of them splitting up and meeting in Third Life years and years later (altho i like to imagine it as more of a voluntary separation).

some stuff copy+pasted from that cursed shipping doc i mentioned awhile back: ((scott + jimmy became a thing while martyn was gone pre-3L))

Now reuniting in 3L as fully grown adults after years apart, all those suppressed emotions come bubbling back up to the surface. An adult Martyn is much less unsure about what he's feeling and Jimmy still has those fantasies of what could have been playing on loop in his head. Of course, Jimmy is still attached to Scott and can't abandon his Bethrothed. He loves and knows what's best for him, he would sooner die than forsake his loyalty. But it does hurt when he hits him. Martyn still cares for Jimmy deeply, whether he wants to or not. He takes the time to keep an eye out for him, even though they had no real reason to interact anymore. He becomes one of the only people to realise what Scott was like with him, how devoid of love it all was. He throws out a line, offers to help him run away. Jimmy refuses. Betrayal. A second time. For the same man. Who cares about Jimmy anyway? (he always did take me for granted)

(a little note here before anyone sets me on fire - time works a bit differently in my writing and the players don't have exact ages but jimmy and martyn's age gap is probably not as dramatic as their cc counterparts)

(it's still there but neither of them even recognise their feelings as remotely romantic until they reunite as adults, as kids it's all just them being silly and having grade school drama with each other)

So uh yeah lots of mutual pining and suppressed feelings and puppy love turned angst👍 tis all i shall say cus i wanna make art of the rest lol

Just a second to lessen the ache, or minute to kiss it away I’d give all I have for the chance to go back to youth and you

[alrightbuckaroo]

Ada! For nice ask week:

What's your favorite fic you've written? What has been the most challenging? Do you feel like those are the same fic or different ones?

Hi there, Rose! Hope life's being kind to you and thanks so much for the ask!

This one is hard because I like so many of them for such varying different reasons, but I think I'm going to go with the Carlos character study, tender eyes that shine.

I got to create an entirely new OC that I got the chance to fall in love with, Dr. María Ortiz. I got to explore all my little head-canons of Carlos' upbringing and I got to explore the more domestic aspects of their intimacy with things like this:

“We haven’t been intimate in a while.” Carlos twirls his fork into the pile of spaghettini sprawled across his plate. He takes a bite, but the taste isn’t anything he can capture, the sauce having all the appeal of a warm glass of tap water. He can feel the seed of anxiety begin to bloom in the pit of his stomach. He’s trying to figure out how to navigate this conversation, and he doesn’t know why he’s having so much difficulty with it. TK’s willing to listen to him, he’s made that more than abundantly clear. Carlos also knows this is something he wants to address, because in short, he misses sharing intimacy with TK. He misses the way TK feels under his fingertips, the way TK quivers as pleasure courses through him. How he’ll pant out Carlos’ name, begging him to take him to the edge of release, and then ravage his mouth with a lust driven kiss as he finally allows himself to let go. TK cuts into his grilled chicken, the cream sauce dipping into the break in the meat. “Do you want to be?” “Of course I do. Look at you,” Carlos replies as he pushes a piece of broccoli aside. TK treats Carlos to a subtle, but steady grin. Carlos finds a way to smile back because loves how TK looks in the low level lamp lighting, sharing a smile that only Carlos gets to see.

That said, it is, without a doubt, the second most challenging thing I've ever written, right after the Time Loop AU. I was telling a friend this the other day that while I loved writing it, being in the headspace of a man who hasn't allowed himself to cry for twenty odd years was a little rough.

I had to constantly think of ways to push Carlos to that brink without actually pushing him over the edge. It was fun, but it was rough on my mental state for a little while, can't lie hahah.

I think that's why I'm so wrapped up in what people think of it because I felt like I very much left a part of me with that story.

If I'm being candid, I normally never let the ratio of comments and kudos compared to hits but with that one, I'm not going to lie, it kind of got to me. Oh well, you can't make people interact! You can only hope they liked it!

[creatively-cosmic]

Hi Starry, I’m back! :D

I’m glad you like the questions and that they aren’t annoying, because every bit of lore I read is like a taking a shot of dopamine lmao. And that picture of Fire getting a hug 🥹 brightened up my whole day. Trust me when I say that you guys reposting pictures and adding content to older ones isn’t obnoxious in the slightest. The art (at least for me) makes it easier to digest and form connections about the story in my head, plus y’alls art is great—who wouldn’t want to look at it? The lore/art in the last one was particularly interesting. (Like, young Red looks like such an polite, upstanding citizen and then you scroll down two pages and now it’s like “Tf you lookin crazy for”? Was that an implication that Steven had something to do with Red going missing/becoming Glitchy? And Leaf is funking DEAD?-)

Anyways, you know what that means! Question time: Leaf Edition!

The First (and most obvious) question: What happened to Leaf? Why is the homegirl dead? (Why was Leaf being dead, out of all the things I’ve seen so far, the one thing I wasn’t expecting?)

Second: What’s the relationship between Leaf, Fire and Blue? You said that Blue and Fire’s murder-suicide loop was spurred on by her death, so were they friends before she died? Did they see it?

And two smaller questions: How tall are the main four (Red, Blue, Fire, Leaf)? And do they have Pokémon Teams? If so, what are their teams looking like?

That’s all till next time! Have a good day/afternoon/night wherever you are!

TUMBLR FUCKING CRASHED HALFWAY THROUGH ANSWERING THIS ASK IM SO MAD FUCK. FUCKKK

We honestly can't thank you enough for all your questions, compliments, and just overall being a huge sweetheart. We're really happy you've been enjoying these, and whatever dopamine you get from seeing these, we probably get like. TENFOLD, just for seeing someone so interested, and giving us a chance to talk about this wild ride of a story. So really- thank you. This has been a delight!

This one is gonna be REALLY long (I have to rewrite fucking HALF OF IT now DAMMIT), as we want to talk on the stuff you crossed out, too.

(I'll put their heights and teams in a follow-up post btw, so watch for that.)

1. Red.

Young Red is an interesting point in time. See, he and Blue had a LOT in common- a lot more than you might think. Of course, Red was a good kid, genuinely- always so caring for his Pokemon, kind and passionate about them. He was polite to the people around him, and always soft spoken, when or if he spoke at all. The adults around Kanto and his hometown always adored him for how well mannered he seemed- a real role model, and stand up child. Just a bit shy.

In all truth though, Red moreso had a very strong mask. One that he only dropped, allowing himself to relax and act like himself around one person: his best friend, Blue.

Both of those boys were a lot more immature and competitive with each other- the main difference being Blue didn't hide it like Red did. They LOVED competing, always trying to one up each other in everything they did. When they were together, Red wasn't afraid to speak his mind, signing or whispering to his friend with a smug grin on his face. Around his friend, Red could really be himself, and they both loved it. Having so much fun, roughhousing and taking jabs and just being children around each other. A lot of people, when seeing this, would assume Blue- who was always rude and a bit more standoffish- was a bad influence, but really, the two couldn't be happier than they were with each other.

... When you spend God knows how long, trapped in a dimension with no human life, desperate and angry with unholy forces eating away at your mind, will, and sanity. Let's just say masking doesn't end up staying a necessary skill. A good portion of why Red being Like That now is honestly? Just because he just gave up on trying to make himself presentable.

He has bigger problems now than worrying about how people see him, anyways.

2. Steven.

I'll try to keep this short, as the Strangled Red elements of this story could warrant it's own post entirely.

To put it simply: Steven is, in part, directly responsible for Red's fate.

It wasn't HIS decision, mind you. He barely even thinks for himself anymore. But there were things that wanted Red, and Steven is very suggestible when it takes the right approach. So it lays itself out so simply.

Red trusted Steven, after all. Idolized him. Missed him. Would follow him anywhere. What better possible option could there be?

Of course Steven is the one to drown that boy on the coast of Cinnabar.

3. Leaf. (cw for animal death.)

Finally, the star of the show for this ask (as if this isn't long enough already). I can see why the information for her is more supriding as we haven't posted as much for her, which. We do feel bad about- our ability and motivation to make art for her was severely hindered by our struggle (I'm talking MONTHS) to make a design for her that we were happy with. Her story is WELL figured out, though, so we're glos we get to discuss! And now that her design is actually finalized, there should be more visual stuff for her coming.

So what happened?

Well! As is the entire premise of Missing Numbers, each major individual is based off of various Pokepastas. The easiest way to answer that is one of two of Leaf's sources:

Abandoned Loneliness.

But first, we have to go further back.

Fire was not the only Vessel made by the Almighty.

... He was the first, and the favorite. But he wasn't the only one. Leaf was the other.

Once Fire had come to Palette town, the next Game was set to begin any time now. But as the Almighty looked down on the world, He looked back at the others that had been built, and realized that the new Kanto was missing something. An alternative option. Though He was reluctant to change the structure of the world, it was, by all means, an improvement, and something the Players would expect after the past Generations.

She was less meticulously made than her brother. She kept her Heart and Mind about her, as there wasn't time, nor was it safe, to rid her of them like Fire. She would serve well enough as a Vessel regardless- and she did, as when the Game began, Leaf was chosen as the player's Avatar. (Not quite what the Almighty had expected, but the choice had been given for a reason, so it would be foolish to change anything now...)

Blissfully unaware of the nature of her existence, Leaf proceeded to go on a triumphant adventure through Kanto.

This is a good time, before we get back to the tragedy, to answer your second question!

Leaf, Blue, and Fire's dynamic changed throughout their journey through Kanto. At the beginning, let's just say things were... Tense.

Fire acted hollow, in the beginning, as he was meant to. Genuinely, it was fully expected that he'd be chosen as the players Avatar. So without it, he was left... Quiet and cold. It seemed he didn't care for anyone- not Blue, nor his sister.

Blue, meanwhile, was NOT in a good headspace. But at this point, after about two years passed since Red's dissapearance, he'd learned to hide those feelings. The people of Palette town, including his Rivals, knew him as this bitter, irritable person, resentful towards the world for incomprehensible reasons.

Leaf was the only "normal" one, basically. A cheerful, excited girl, whose heart bled for everyone she cared about and always tried to stand for the right thing. She didn't know where she came from... She had no memories of her life before "Red" and Hazel (Fire's mother) Yuuji found her, seemingly abandoned in the tall grass just outside of Palette Town, under the falling autumn leaves. Taken in as a part of their family, she grew attracted quickly, her loyalty and love and impulsive need to protect coming to be what she was known for.

With all this given, when the journey started. Leaf HATED Blue- he seemed to despise and bully her brother more than anyone. Blue didn't like Leaf much either, but wasn't as harsh towards her as he was Fire. Fire was as... Neutral as ever. But he silently followed the two once they went out, almost as if he wanted to watch over them. Ensure their safety.

As the journey continued, over time, away from the stuffiness of their hometown, the three started to grow closer. Maybe the fresh air was doing Blue good. Maybe Leaf was learning more about the world. Maybe Fire's deep brown eyes were growing warmer.

Somehow, a death was the tipping point for all of them to finally become friends. It's absurd, how grief was the thing driving them apart, but ultimately went to bring them together.

When Blue's Raticate died, he quickly fell back to his lowest point. Angry and hateful and heartbroken, lashing out, and ultimately running away. ... But it put everything in perspective. Through all her guilt (it was in a fight against her, after all, that the Raticate had been so severely injured), Leaf suddenly understood why Blue had been so horrible before: he was mourning. And he needed someone. It didn't make her forgive him, but it made her extend a hand.

And for once, knelt over the grave of a lost Pokemon, Blue accepted it. From that act of kindness, Blue genuinely began to get along with the others, and slowly, the trio came to be friends- all the way up to and after the Championship, where despite losing again, Blue felt closer to the others than ever.

... It seems in this world, good things don't last.

The events of Abandoned Loneliness happened several months after Leaf became champion. When revisiting Raticate's grave with Blue, Leaf came across a peculiar Pokemon- a horribly sickly little Eevee, too weak to even cry. Leaf had never been the kind to leave a Pokemon in need to fend for itself- kindly, she took the little stray into her care, determined to nurse it back to health.

The properties of Glitched or Corrupted Pokemon aren't something I need to dive into right now this is already ungodly long. What's important is that the Eevee was not a natural Pokemon. It should've been dead.

It always starts with a Pokemon that should've been dead.

Let's just say... Everything unraveled from there. Fully explaining what the events of Abandoned Loneliness translates to in Missing Numbers isn't something I have the energy to write at the moment (this is so long and I've been putting off finishing it cause I'm still mad all my initial writing got deleted >_<).

The important part comes down to Leaf's demise at the hands of this "curse." Bonded to that sickly little Eevee, when the world pushed her to put it out of its misery- voices of the damned screaming, unbearable, suffocating, demanding she DO IT DO IT DO IT, you can't bear to watch it suffer anymore, after all... The destiny bond it held her in dragged her down with it.

Nobody witnessed her death. She was alone and isolated at the foot of a mountain. She thought she could solve everything herself. Thought she could handle it all.

Her body was only found days later, curled up on the ground, rotting blood seeping from her eyes, with the body of the poor little Eevee in her arms. Trapped and suffocated by the hands that killed it. It was far too late. To maje it worse, her friends were the first to know of her death.

Fire was the one who found her body, after all.

Leaf's demise was a SEVERE breaking point, and unlike Fire, she didn't get a chance to be revived by God. Her modern presence in the world was not... Authorized, let's just say. Leaf had to claw and fight to keep hold of herself and climb back to existence in ways unprecedented, and believed to be impossible. But despite being a corrupted entity, her body was stable. And so, rather than Smite her as he would other Glitches, the Almighty decided to make good of an unintended situation: He could make use of her. A man on the inside is a powerful tool, after all.

So long as He kept her anger for her fate targeted towards the "true" threats.

I could keep going but I've babbled on way too much already for this post lol. I'm so sorry about the delay on this one- life REALLY got in the way. And Tumblr's buggy ass mobile app 💀

hopefully i can elaborate more without any crashing in the next round if there is one ashfshf

[mark-of-chrysus]

With Danny being on loop for thousand of times already wouldn't he also have genderbend of him-self? I wonder what changes in everyone perspective. Especially gun since that guy is a pervert as Goo says.

Maybe she could make this work?

Being a woman was hard. Being an attractive woman was a nightmare, plain and simple. Simply put, being looped into a female body was a lesson in many things, including but not limited to patience, tolerance, humility, and the sheer ability to put up with so much bullshit on a daily basis that it made Danny want to pull her hair out of her skull strand by strand.

To begin with, everyone seemed to suddenly view him as an unowned object, ready for the taking. That was usually resolved with a couple broken bones and broken egos, though some people took more convincing to finally get the message.

Patience. Cross.

Then came the pain. And blood. Oh, god, so much blood! And the pain could be utterly unbearable, leaving him curled on the floor just prying for it to go away. He knew what periods were, of course, but no one had ever told him they could get this bad!

Tolerance. Cross.

Society as a whole apparently expected him to act as if she was less of everything they had applauded him for being. They saw her achievements as boasting or cheating, yet jeered whenever she would get lower than they expected. Nothing she did was ever good enough, but she wasn't allowed to do better. Danny was no stranger to the bigotry of men, but its hist had never resonated in him quite how they did then.

Humility. Cross.

When the assumptions and expectations came she just decided to call it quits. Fuck the world!

Ability to deal with bullshit on a daily basis. Cross.

-------------------------------

In an attempt to regain some semblance of control over her life, Danny decided to stock as closely as possible to the original timeline of events. It didn't work.

For one, Jay seemed to be actively avoiding her. She could understand that, but it didn't mean it hurt any less. At least he still remained friendly with her, if a bit shyer than before.

Zack was another problem. He had annoyed her enough to make her fight him during the second day, but the outcome had been much more different. The boxer was defeated by a girl in front of the whole school, wounding his pride, but since then he had taken to trying to embarrass her in a twisted attempt at payback. It wasn't pretty, but she knew that with enough time he would grow more mature, as he always did, and perhaps there would be hope for e reconciliation.

Similarly to her two classmates, many of her usual friends acted rather oddly in her presence or didn't interact with her at all. The exception to this was, surprisingly, the two troublemakers from the Vocal Department.

Danny had no idea how she did it, but she has somehow gotten adopted into their little clique and they stuck to her like glue ever since, even going as far as leaving Duke alone when she asked them. Their silly antics were a balm to the ache in her soul that had come with losing the chance to bond with the people that she held dear in the same way she always did. That wasn't a problem, the fighting prodigy told herself, she would just have to find new ways to bond with them. For now, she was content with the two friends she had, however odd their friendship might've been. She might be able to make this work.

"HUH? That's stupid!" Vin Jin said a bit louder than he had to, secretly trying to wake his black-haired friend from whatever trance she was in.

"You just can't figure out how great it is because you're a moron!" Mary retorted, gripping the girl's elbow. "Isn't that right Danny?"

That got her to snap out of her thoughts and look up at the bickering pair. She gave them a clueless smile and nod, unaware of them sighing in relief as she once again joined in on the conversation. She had the habit of getting lost in thought every once in a while and they worried about how vulnerable it left her. That's why they could never leave her side. Even now, they could feel the hungry gazes coming from all over the cafeteria, aimed at the beautiful transfer girl. She may be strong enough to fight them off, but that didn't stop those freaky perverts from thinking all sorts of creepy shit about her.

Mary and Vin held a silent conversation between them as the girl ate, cluelessly. These trance-like episodes had become more frequent in the past week and they needed to find a way to put a stop to them. The School Festival was coming up, which is when the two convened to put their plan into action.

When Zack was chosen for the Slave Auction Danny could only cringe and give him her best wishes. Usually, when he was chosen for the Auction in previous loops either he would have to spend a hellish date with Lala or Crystal would come save him, then give him the same speech about not judging people based on their looks. This usually ended in one of two ways, he would lose his temper and yell back, leading to Gun pummeling him into the floor, or he would take it quietly before informing Crystal that he couldn't go out with her because he didn't like her, and would, again, end up kissing the pavement, courtesy of her bodyguard overreacting and hitting him (what a shocker!).

The event went as expected, with Crystal buying the boxer and them leaving for the parking lot. Only, this time Danny followed behind them, as did her two best friends. They didn't even bother sneaking around, just followed closely behind, curious to see what would happen.

"Oh, so it's that way, huh" The black-haired beauty muttered under her breath, seeing Zack's expression grow stormier with each passing moment before he erupted into a screaming match with the Choi heiress.

"Who would've thought that cheeky bugger would still have it in him!" Vin mused out loud next to her, entertained.

Mary agreed, unbothered by the growing tension. Before any of them could blink Danny had bolted from her place, skidding to a halt right in front of the screaming boy. A few centimeters from her face she held Gun's ankle in a vise-like grip, her eyes narrowed sharp and unmoving from the bodyguard's face.

Zack stumbled back half a step, swallowing the knot in his throat. I didn't even see that coming, how did she get here so fast?! He recalled how she had easily sent him flying with just one punch. Back then he had dismissed it as a fluke, but what if...

Crystal stared at the pretty girl who had stopped Gun's Brazilian kick in silent horror and a trace of awe. She had noticed the three watching them, but hadn't thought anything of it. They looked like your typical high-school students, possibly even bullies. Now that she looked closer, however, there was a certain air of danger around each and every one of them, though most notably from the tall black-haired girl. A cold droplet of sweat slid down her cheek, she needed to stop this before it got out of hand!

One look at Gun's face told her that it was too late. He was smiling, no, grinning that abnormally large grin of his that only came when he saw someone as a challenge. His glasses had been discarded onto the ground, revealing the demonic-looking black eyes behind them. This wasn't a fight that could be prevented. Frantically, Crystal pulled out her phone and dialed her father, prying that the maniac wouldn't kill the girl until then.

"Yes, Crystal?" Charles' voice held a note of annoyance to it that, were she not panicking, she would've hesitated before.

"It's Gun" she relayed into the phone panicky "he's gotten into a fight with some girl! He's got that crazy grin of his and he's taken off his glasses-"

A loud thud sounded from behind her and she turned to look, expecting the worst. Crystal froze with her mouth wide open, blinking dumbly at the scene before her. It wasn't the bold girl's body laying bloody and motionless on the concrete. It was Gun's. His shirt was ripped and his hair a mess. His body was a mess of red and able and purple, though by the labored rising and falling of his chest he wasn't dead yet. One of his hands was twisted at an unnatural angle and the other looked very much broken, the bone visibly poking out beneath the skin, near his elbow.

Zack was looking on in a mix of horror and awe, frozen in place by the display of such skill and ruthlessness. She's fast...and deadly, he thought to himself, paling a bit. Meanwhile, Vin and Mary seemed unbothered by the sight and cheered their friend on, the latter holding a phone in her hand and probably filming the ordeal.

"Crystal! CRYSTAL!" Her father's voice snapped her out of it and she was once again able to speak.

"He's down. Out cold. Not dead though." She told him, unable to hide the tremor in her voice. "I didn't even have time to see-"

A shadow loomed over her trembling body and she slowly rose her head. The girl's gaze was detached and cold like she was staring down at a tiny mouse not worth her time. When she spoke her voice sounded like a mix between satisfied and indifferent.

"Take him back."

Crystal could only nod with her eyes tightly shut, feeling this predator's hot breath on her face. She scurried towards the fallen man and dragged him into the car before getting into the driver's seat and spreading out of the parking lot.

"Woohoo! Holy shit!" A pair of arms draped themselves over her shoulders and she found herself sandwiched between two warm bodies.

"That was fucking epic!" Vin praised the shorter girl, while his blonde friend nodded in agreement from the other side.

Danny allowed herself a small smile at the warm feeling that bloomed in her chest. The coldness in her body was washed away by laughter and other such explicit exclamations and praises. Yeah, she could make this work.

[piracytheorist]

Macabre Theme and Variations (9/15)

Fandom: Spy x Family Word count: 4.4k for this chapter | 38k so far | 65k in total Rating: T Warnings: Non-permanent character deaths, graphic violence

Summary: Twilight wakes up. He works on his mission. He dies. He comes back and does it all over again. Each time a little different. (Inspired by the film Happy Death Day)

AO3 Read from the beginning: Tumblr | AO3

~

Chapter 9: Falsetto

falsetto = artificially making one’s voice sound higher

~

Borf!

“Oh,” Twilight says, jumping up from the bed. He opens his door and drops to his knees, frantically rubbing at Bond's fur. “Oh, Bond. You have no idea how happy I am to see you, boy.”

Bond reaches up a little to lick his cheek, and a small giggle escapes him.

A giggle. He can't believe it.

He still feels the wide smile on his face when he stands up to stop Yor before she bumps into the wall. She hums in acknowledgement with a small smile and goes on with her routine.

He crouches back down, resting his arm on his knee as his other hand pats Bond's head.

For the third time someone else risked their life for his sake, and all Twilight could do was stand helplessly and watch as they died.

He can't allow this to keep happening. He needs to get his act back together and end the loop, and fast.

However, he's starting to warm up to the lack of consequences.

“Hey Bond,” he says. “Do you want to go for a run?”

Bond makes an excited borf, his tail wagging wildly.

The cold morning air blows sense back into him. He looks at the moon, still in its waning gibbous phase.

He has a ton of questions he still needs answered. About Yor, about Anya, hell, how did Bond see the grenade coming ten whole seconds before Pollux even pulled the ring off of it?

About Pollux, though, his boasting answered Twilight’s questions like an unexpected gift. The fact that no-one else from WISE is in danger of a later attack orchestrated by him was crucial knowledge to acquire, and though it was the only new piece of information, his speech provided the wake-up call Twilight needed.

Pollux was wrong about him; though he's fully immersed in his Loid Forger persona, Twilight knows there's no way to build any lasting and meaningful relationships through a disguise, no matter how perfectly he dons it.

For that reason, he can't try for any development with Yor or Anya while this loop lasts. Anya he could handle, in part, because she's already shown affection with him, but the previous day showed him he does not deal well with opening his heart to Yor only for her to remember nothing the next day.

He'll find her, just like she asked. He will tell her about their day in the loop, and as much as he can about his real identity. It will then be her choice, one he will respect to the fullest.

It will affect Operation Strix, of course, if she decides to divorce him, and even more if she requests custody of Anya. As for the prospect of her reporting him... she'll know that doing so will endanger Anya's place, either with him or her, so there's actually good chance she'll avoid it. But even if she does report him and he needs to come up with a more drastic disguise, he can still find a way to approach Desmond.

It's dangerous. But at this point, with both him and Yor being emotionally compromised with each other, trying to keep up with the pretend marriage can be more dangerous. And less desirable, if he's honest with himself.

He pauses his jog, leaning his hands on his knees to catch his breath.

It's incredible how much he's changed, all in a day that never changes. More than ten years of spy work crumbling down within a repeated week.

He looks at Bond, who's also stopped in front of him, tongue hanging out of his mouth but ready to keep going for more.

There was no actual requirement for him to be miserable in this job. It's just easier to be detached and avoid emotional complications before they even appear. His feelings and emotions did not hold any value to him, until he found himself surrounded by three beings, two humans and one dog, who cared for him enough to make him feel guilty they did. Enough to make him want to be worthy of it.

To make him want.

He might have been helpless at the face of such circumstances, he thinks as he continues his jog. It's not just this week. It probably even started the moment after he'd rescued Anya from Edgar, when she ran to him and said she wanted to stay with him.

He was just too proud of and too focused on his spy work to realize what that simple gesture kick-started in him.

Well, no point in self flagellating now. It is what it is; Pollux lost control on his emotions and instead tried to wield control over the family he'd infiltrated, then tried to win them back with honesty, failing spectacularly. If Twilight is to learn anything from this story, it’s that he needs to put honesty first, before his emotions get the better of him. The fact that he's not immediately shutting down the whim to be open about being a damned spy is a first sign of loss of control. It should be ironic that his plan is to pass on that control to Yor and allow her choice to dictate the future of Operation Strix, but from the first moment it was a mission depending on two clueless civilians.

The responsibility to adjust the mission will fall on him, but he's used to that.

He sighs decisively. He has enough time to plan his confession, but first he has to end the loop. And with the thought of no consequences, he realizes this is yet another day he needs to die.

At least, he can look inwards for what he considers fun today. If he's to try and truly be a father to Anya and a husband to Yor, he needs to know what lies in the man he wants them to accept, for real this time.

Back home, he showers and prepares breakfast. It's still the classic omelette from the previous days, but today also offers two scoops from the surprise ice cream for each one of them.

The look he has is far too pensive for a mere ice cream box, but he can't stop thinking how, without this choice in breakfast, Anya won't get the chance to eat the ice cream until the loop ends and they finally return home after the theater play. Aside from the sneaky spoonfuls she took the night before the loop started, of course.

Anya doesn't demand any explanation on the ice cream for breakfast. Yor is a little cautious, but her worries seem to disappear as she undoubtedly notices the smile on his face.

It's not acting like the proud father that's difficult today, that comes naturally by now. It's acting like that, knowing he'll have to miss the play again today.

Just that. Today and tomorrow will be purely for testing. If he gets the information he needs, in two days he can start hoping he can catch the bastard.

And Anya? How is she reacting to this?

She was looking at him, but now she immediately drops her gaze to her ice cream bowl.

That little rascal. She had taken a few secret bites off of it, yet on her day off she'd asked for more ice cream, fully believing that at the end of that day she'd get to enjoy even more.

Suddenly, Anya blushes. She fills her mouth with ice cream, cringing as it freezes her tongue.

He can't help smiling at her cunning. She may not be as intelligent as he originally thought, but she most certainly is smart. And if there's one thing he admires in people...

Despite her previous nervousness, Anya and Yor as well seem to mirror his profoundly, honestly good mood as they wait for him by the entrance.

It's amazing what being earnest with himself can do.

With that in mind, he reaches for Yor's hand. He brings it to his lips and kisses it. He hears Yor's gasp of surprise and lets it go, smiling kindly at her.

Quick enough to not build up to much, but meaningful enough to hopefully make her smile today.

He watches Anya get on the bus, and on a whim, he focuses on her and thinks.

The bus will take five times to start.

Anya scrunches her eyebrows, of course; she turns her head forward and listens for the struggling engine. When it takes off at the fifth attempt, she looks back at him.

He clenches his hand into a fist and instinctively searches for something his mind can focus on.

The periodic table will have to do.

Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, fluorine, neon, sodium, magnesium...

“Well, have a good day at work!” Yor says, and the way she sounds happier than any other time gives him enough distraction.

That kiss on the hand did brighten her day.

He turns to her with a grin. “Thank you, Yor. You too.”

She turns to the direction of the city hall, but he stands there feeling like an idiot, looking at the direction the bus left towards.

Can Anya read his mind?!

No, that's– that's impossible.

He immediately doubts that impossibility. He's stuck in a damn time loop, dying and coming back every day. His standards for disbelief in the supernatural have plummeted.

And... and damn it, it would make so many things make sense.

The way she'd solved that crossword perfectly, then didn't even know how much a dalc is. Her chimera toy being left in his room that was supposed to be under combination lock, with all his spy gear exposed. Her stress attacks in big crowds. The way she sputtered all kinds of nonsense – all of sense to him – in the admission interview for Eden. The way she answers questions that weren't even asked. The way so much of what she says sounds too deep for a child her age, but with words only a child her age would use.

And of course, the way she's been acting all strange within the time loop, making him feel as if she's aware of it.

Well... if she has been reading his mind, then she has been aware of it, every time after his own realization.

Then she knows who he is and what he's doing.

And that means she consciously chose a spy as her father – twice.

He blinks in shock, realizing a few people have started staring at him.

He takes the route to the library.

Damn it. He was supposed to spend the morning here, looking for inspiration for introspection, but his mind is absolutely consumed by the thought that Anya could have been reading his mind all along.

All along. Even when he'd thought about abandoning her.

His skin crawls. And she stayed through it all.

Why?

And how could she even do such a thing? Was she, somehow, brought into his path intentionally? Such an ability would be the ultimate weapon in data and intelligence gathering, so it wouldn't be a surprise if someone, whoever is responsible for her, had let her mingle with a spy and extract as much information from him as possible.

He bites his lip. With such a power, Operation Strix could be completed in a single day. As well as so, so many of the missions people like him take up.

If anyone finds this out – and he was amazingly lucky to get enough clues to discover it himself – she's going to be in huge trouble.

He realizes he doesn't feel the least bit terrified at the possible invasion on his private thoughts; he's terrified at the idea of someone discovering her and using her... even if it's for the sake of peace.

He closes the book he hasn't managed to concentrate on for the past half hour now. He rests his chin on his fist.

His plans for today do not allow him time to deal with letting her know he's discovered her secret. He'll have to keep his mind occupied whenever he's close to her.

At least, he hopes she can only read his mind when in close proximity. Otherwise, she must already be aware.

His shoulders slump forward at the thought that he cannot predict her reaction to him knowing, and not because of her general unpredictability, but because he knows he hasn't given her enough space to trust he won't abandon her or report her.

She will be terrified, and it will be his fault.

He covers his face with his hands. He has to make things clear with her; but not today.

He can have enough on his mind to keep it occupied in her presence so that nothing will slip through. Typical mental discipline today, then.

That is, as long as she can only read his most surface-level thoughts. If she can go deep enough and pluck his mind apart...

At least, she won't be utterly heartbroken by his absence in the theater tonight. She'll learn what he plans to do and why he prioritizes that over seeing the play for the seventh time.

Hopefully. The thought that she won't remember it tomorrow isn't enough to assuage his guilt.

He gets up and puts the book in the return cart. Reaching the reception, he asks for guides on alarm clocks.

He'll have to talk with Anya about her ability, eventually. If they're to stay a family, if he's to reveal his secrets, he can only ask for a certain amount of honesty from her too. As little as he worries about her reading his mind in comparison to the government finding out about her, it's still inappropriate for her to read through his thoughts with no judgment or permission.

He starts cooking and going over his plan for today. Yor returns home, and he settles his features into a content expression.

It's becoming harder and harder to keep lying to her, but for now he has no other choice.

She helps him with the rest of the cooking, then he feels his shoulders tense when he hears the sound of the school bus approaching.

He brings the books he got from the library and spreads them open on the coffee table, bringing over his alarm clock as well. He’s just began taking it apart when Anya comes in. She approaches him and leans over him, eyes wide with curiosity.

Is she wondering whether I’m adjusting it into spy gear? I wouldn’t do that right in front of her and Yor! Besides, gadgets are Franky’s specialty.

“Is it broken?” Yor asks, voicing Anya’s unspoken question as well.

“Yes. It didn’t ring today.” For the ninth time. “I went by the library today and picked up some books that might help me fix it.”

“Papa is very smart,” Anya says.

A choked hmm comes out of his lips. Not as smart as I thought I was. I- Alright, alright, that gear is a little rusty, maybe that was it? No, it’s moving normally…

It doesn’t take long after that, making the whole repair a much shorter distraction than he’d hoped. He sets the alarm for a minute from now and puts it down on the table.

It feels almost taunting when it finally rings.

If only the time loop was so easy to fix.

“Alright, should we eat?”

It's a good thing he also has his own mission today. He goes through all the details again to keep his mind full, pausing in-between to list random facts from his memory.

To no surprise, Anya appears interested when he thinks of his mission, and confused when he thinks of random facts.

Five minutes before they have to leave for the theater, the phone rings. He answers, fully aware of who it is before he’s even picked up the receiver.

“I may have to be late for the performance,” he says as he hangs up. “An emergency came up at the hospital.”

“Oh, no,” Yor says. “Everything alright?”

“Yes, just some paperwork that needs to be taken care of. Nothing to worry about, but I need to be there. Would you mind taking Anya to the theater?” He doesn't bother lying that he'll meet them there later. Funnily enough, he used an excuse about paperwork and not a patient in an emergency, out of fear of worrying her.

“Of course, no problem! I hope you won't miss it, though.”

Don't hope that high.

He studies Anya's reaction as he prepares to leave before them. She seems... satisfied.

Three point one four one five nine two six five three five...

He decides that a hundred meters away from the house would be a safe distance, so he finally allows his mind to analyze Anya's reactions.

She appeared interested whenever he was focusing on today's mission. Does she somehow see it like Spy Wars coming to life? Is this why she chose to stay with him?

But... why would she do that, after Edgar's men kidnapped her? Why would she choose to stay in such a dangerous life?

If it's not her being able to read his mind, then he's certainly losing it. If he wasn't determined on clearing some things up tonight, he would turn right back and tell Anya all he's discovered, just to make sure he's still sane.

Instead, he takes a train for a Berlint district far from the hospital.

He's not in disguise while on the train. He needs to leave a trail for Pollux to follow, though he wonders how quickly he'll manage to find him. He'll see he's not in the theater, nor the house, nor the hospital... how far down his list is Yuri's house?

After he arrives at the train station, he enters the public restrooms and exits in his disguise, his feet stiff as they carry him to Yuri's apartment.

He has been carefully, painfully trained to always limit the consequences, always prepare for the worst possible scenario, always be careful.

It feels completely alien to do something so reckless. His hand hovers in front of Yuri's doorbell as a fear crosses his mind; what if fate, or whatever power has trapped him in this time loop, chooses to end things here because of his audacity to take advantage of the situation?

His finger moves, as if on its own, and rings the bell.

Too late now.

The door opens, revealing a worn-out Yuri. As expected, he suddenly straightens, composing himself. “Lieutenant,” he says. “What brings you here?”

Yuri steps aside and Twilight enters, bowing his head in greeting.

Comfortable enough to let him in without giving him verbal permission.

“We might have some new clues on Twilight,” he says in the lieutenant's voice.

“Really?” The exhaustion seems to disappear from the young man's face.

Twilight suppresses a sigh. Yuri is another matter he needs to discuss with Yor, with enough secrecy to not spill a secret that's not his to share, but enough openness so that she'll know what balances she'll have to keep, should she choose to stay with him.

He stands between the hall and the living room, allowing Yuri to take his designated seat, before he picks a seat on his own.

“Show me,” Yuri says, eyeing the envelope in Twilight's hands. That excitement was enough, apparently, to cover how the “lieutenant” suddenly felt too uncomfortable sitting first.

“First of all, I need a summary of what you know about him.”

“Nothing new since last time. Which isn't much,” he says, rubbing at his hands. “Only that he's from Westalis, and that he's dangerous.”

Oh, from your perspective, certainly.

“If he’s as good as they say, we have to catch him in the act. He’ll deny any involvement until his last breath.”

“Any chance he could be bought?” Yuri asks.

Twilight thinks. What could there be in it for him to not only admit the truth about who he is, but to also endanger the lives and causes of other WISE spies?

Suddenly, he’s glad Yuri works for the secret police. It means that Yuri won’t allow Yor’s life to be threatened just so Twilight’s cooperation could be bought in exchange for her safety, and even if they went that far, Yuri would much rather abandon everything and whisk her off to safety. 

But Anya… how many lines would they cross to force Twilight to spill his beans?

“For now we have to rely on bringing him face-to-face with hard evidence,” Twilight says.

“Can we do that?”

“We just intercepted a transmission that may be reporting he’ll depart from Berlint soon.”

“So he's been hiding here! The bastard!” His hands clench into fists.

“Calm down, Yuri. Aggravation won't help us capture him faster.”

“We need to do something about him. I can't relax while he and his fellow traitors roam our country so freely.”

“And what would you do, if it was fully in your hands?” he can't help asking.

“I'd lock him up in a cell,” he says and his eyes darken. “I'd starve him. Force him to eat rotten food until he spilled everything he knew about the spies they've planted here.”

That's a brother-in-law for you.

“You know torture doesn't offer much valuable information, especially when done to people like him.”

“What else can we do?”

He looks at the clock. By now Pollux will have realized Twilight isn't in the theater, and it won't take him long to confirm he's not in the Forger house either. “Catch him before he leaves. Anyone you suspect might be him?”

Yuri shrugs. “Of all people in the city? If he's as good with disguises as they say, he could be anyone.”

Even... come on, say it.

“Wait, do we know since when he has been living here?”

He looks deep into Yuri's eyes, gauging for the tiniest reaction. “Anywhere between a year and a year and a half.”

The reaction isn't tiny, after all. There's a hint of shame and hesitation when he says, “It's a long shot, but the only one I can think of is the man that married my sister.”

There you go. Interesting word choices, too.

“Yes, that... Loid Forger, correct?”

Yuri raises an eyebrow at him. “I... Have I told you his name?”

You haven't? Excellent.

“What reason do you have to suspect him? Other than not approving of him.”

Yuri scoffs. “I mean, it is weird that he just appeared out of nowhere as my sister’s husband. I love my sister, but she’s too gullible. And a spy like Twilight would do his best to appear like a normal man and accept any weird behaviour just to get in her good grades.”

Twilight has to restrain himself from cringing in shame. He did do that. He didn’t realize when the reason behind his acceptance turned from spy instinct to genuine affection, but it doesn’t undo all the ulterior motives behind his understanding of Yor. He swallows hard before he speaks again. “It would break her heart to find that out.” It’s such an honest confession that his control on mimicking the lieutenant’s voice almost shatters.

“It would be what’s best for her. I don’t like the guy either way.”

“If he really is a spy, whether Twilight or anyone else, that could cause quite the trouble for your sister. She would have to be brought in for questioning.”

“Not a chance. My sister has nothing to do with this.”

You would use your influence in the service to clear her name of any suspicions. But how will you do that without exposing your secret to her?

“But if it is him...” His eyes darken further, his mouth twisting in disgust. “He wouldn't survive long for us to question him.”

“Due to your sensitive connection to him, you wouldn't be allowed to handle his interrogation.”

“I would take it slowly. Rip his fingernails one by one, then rid him of the rest of his fingers knuckle by knuckle.”

“Yuri–”

“I'd gouge his eyes out. He'd have to depend on his hearing to see what comes for him each time after that.” A smile starts creeping up his lips. “Starvation and rotten food would be the least of his worries.”

Yeah, absolutely no telling him.

Yuri looks up; Twilight tries to control his expression, but he’s certain some of his horror bleeds through his widened eyes and clenched jaw. It’s not enough to quell Yuri's apparent excitement at the prospect of torturing the man his sister married.

“And that is why you wouldn't deal with him.”

“Not officially, maybe.”

“And you know that whoever that Twilight is, he won't spill his secrets easily anyway. If he spills them at all.” He won’t.

“We can still make use of him, if not as source of information, at least as an example of why people shouldn't mess with our country.”

Twilight decides to test the waters. “Yuri. That's not a pleasant path, and you're too young to be subjected to it.”

Yuri won't remember that tomorrow, but it feels wrong to watch such a young person be so passionate about that and not say something.

“We serve our country. That comes first.”

He swallows hard. “You're still allowed to have your own morals. Even if you're willing to ignore them for your job, you should still have them.” Please tell me you have some. Please tell me you're not lost to their cause already.

Yuri looks up at him, eyebrow finally raising in thought.

Not much time left, then.

“What exactly does the report say?” Yuri asks.

Oh, no time left at all. He's fast. Or you're sloppy.

Before Twilight can answer, he feels the hair on his body rise at the sound of footsteps outside Yuri's door.

For a moment it feels like the air is full of smoke and the walls and floors are covered in spilled blood.

Twilight blinks and the moment is gone. He looks at his body. He's not injured. He's not injured. He's not–

“Lieutenant?” Yuri asks in a controlled voice.

They both jump at the sound of a silenced shot. The front door starts swinging open.

Yuri hides behind the couch, his hand reaching under it for something.

“No need,” Twilight says in his own voice. “He's here for me.” He raises his hand and rips the mask off his face.

Yuri stares at him, frozen in shock.

“Your wish coming true,” he says, standing up. “Finding incriminating evidence that the bastard who married your sister is a traitor to your country. And yet you're not prepared to handle it.”

Pollux is coming closer.

“Stay covered. There's one more set of bombs after the first one.” He runs towards Pollux, whose jaw has now dropped in shock.

Flash. Burn. Crack.

BANG!

[e-thonrudwrites]

Writblr Introduction

I’ve seen so many writblr introductions that I wanted to do one!

P.S., it’s a long one.

So I got into writing (as a hobby, even though I’ve always loved creating stories as a kid) thanks to an old bully of mine in Swedish eighth grade. I wrote my first queer characters, in my first English WIP ever. It was a fanfic/AU of She-hulk and other Marvel characters, and of course I posted that bad boy on Wattpad and think it got 80k views over the year on something I’ve never finished. I remember being so nervous about making my FMC fall in love with another woman and for them to care for each other. In retrospect, it probably had to do a lot with trying to figure out my sexuality. But as soon as I did it I felt such relief, and I’ve never looked back on writing straight MCs.

But how does this connect with my writing journey and who I’m today? Well, I’m 23 yo, and my English is better, and that’s coming from someone who’s dyslexic, heck I think I can spell better and have a more advanced language in English than in Swedish which is ironic that it’s my native language. But genre wise nowadays, I write MM Romance in a bunch of different sub genres: romcom, fantasy/sci-fi, thriller, and a bit of horror. And ever since my disability progressed, I’ve tried to incorporate disability in my stories — have bad ass characters that just happen to limp. It’s not the end of the world and that’s what I wanna read.

Which is the most important thing I learned as a 16 yo kid posting on Wattpad and getting the social anxiety and burnout of posting there. Write for yourself. Write what you wanna read. Which has made me connect so much more with my stories and characters, especially when writing a WIP as RUINS OF DAWN and letting myself lean into the darkness I’ve always enjoyed as a kid.

But one of the negative things I know my bullying has affected me in is I know no one’s gonna care about what I write because I’m who I am. Because I’m me. And that’s why it took me so much time in to figure out that I can, and I’m allowed to send queries to agents. That just because I’m me doesn’t make it that anyone else who’s ace, queer, and/or disabled can’t connect with the characters and see a glimpse of themselves. Because that is what RUINS OF DAWN is for me. It’s a book for my 15 yo self that loved all the grimy and gory stuff, who was not feeling good or understood why I was feeling like this around people. Though RUINS OF DAWN is not for people under 18, but if I know myself, a bit of blood and spicy scenes wouldn’t have stopped me. My favorite and comfort movie is WARM BODIES. A damn zombie movie, though the books are more horrifying.

So what is RUINS OF DAWN then? Well, it’s the WIP I’m currently laying all my focus on getting done and ready for beta reading, and the one I’m gonna try to query.

RUINS OF DAWN is a dark sci-fi romance thriller, set in 1962 after the Cubs crisis has gone nuclear. It follows Ed Johnston, our Time manipulating protagonist who gets forced by the NTIA—an organization created by the President to watch supers (Psst, think of an organization corrupted like the TVA from LOKI)—to meet the Director, and where he meets his ex-lover the waiting room. It’s enemies-to-lovers, second chance with similar horror elements as Isaac Marion’s THE BURNING WORLD.

#ownvoicesdisability #ownvoiceschronicpain #ownvoicesqueerness

Comp-titles for RUINS OF DAWN: V. E. Schwab’s VICIOUS, Amal El-Mohtar THIS IS HOW YOU LOSE THE TIME WAR, Greg Rucka’s THE OLD GUARD, MOONKNIGHT (2022), DEADPOOL (2016), L. J Hayward’s WHERE DEATH MEETS THE DEVIL, Isaac Marion’s THE BURNING WORLD.

So if you like the X-MEN, THE WATCHMEN or anything to do with superheroes and time loops and time travel, then I hope you’ll follow me on my journey to get this bad boy published.

Also, I’d gladly get to know more writers. My life is definitely lacking writing buddies, because authors supporting other authors is the best thing ever.

[hymn-for-her]

To you this is just a story, to me it is the reason I still have one.

We all have desires. Our hopes and dreams, no matter how big or small they might be. The pursuit for something more. It’s easy to distance yourself from it all, to bury it deep within yourself, locking it up and hiding it away when you know it’s likely never going to happen. Why get your hopes up and be shattered by reality when you can give in to apathy’s numbing embrace?

People always talk about how great life can be, but they often forget to warn you how lonely it is too. I’m sure it’s different on the world that exists outside my room. I mean I have vague memories and flashes of how it once was to not feel as alone. All the four walls of my world do, is mock me. To be completely honest, I can no longer tell one day apart from another. Things tend to become blurry like that when time is an endless repetitive loop. The same shadows dancing the walls of my room. The same two people I see every day. The same routine, you know those basic things we all need to do. At first it was strange I couldn’t do those things myself anymore, having someone feed me, help me drink, help me when I needed the bathroom, but that strangeness has too been lost to the perpetual motion of time.

This room is my cell, and my body is my prison. Still, this is not where I spend most of my time – that would be inside my mind. Got to have something to keep me going other than my excellent sense of humour. Spending most of your time inside your own head isn’t always great either though. One thing people won’t tell you about living with a condition like mine, is the sense of grief that comes with it. I grieve the life I once had, as well as the life I could have had.

In my mind I’ve played this scene over a hundred times. What it would be like to move my body independently, be able to walk. Now that it’s happening, I can’t seem to even remember how I got here. In the span of a few moments, I have found myself to be walking around outside, no longer confined to the world of my own room.

I recall questioning my existence or rather if it was all just a dream? Either way it didn’t matter, all I knew is that I didn’t want to go back. I couldn’t go back. I closed my eyes and filled my lungs with the whole night sky. This moment truly belonged to me. Without thinking I started running like I never had before. No destination, no thoughts. I WAS FUCKING FREE. Feeling my whole body working, my leg muscles getting warm, the fresh air entering my lungs, the rushing blood flowing to all my limbs. I didn’t know I would ever experience this again.

WOOOOOOOO – that’s me screaming from the top of my lungs. I can’t express the pure euphoria experienced in such a moment, simply put, it was overwhelming. I lied down on the ground to process what had just happened. I remember seeing the stars I had so long dreamt of lying under. In that moment, as I lay there crying, moved by “the simple truth of being alive”, I made a promise to make the most of this.

That night I didn’t sleep a wink. The constant impending fear of going back to how things were hung over me like the darkest clouds. What if this was the only chance I got? You can call me selfish if you want for wanting to experience the world instead of being restrained to duties, the obligations posed on me the moment I feel better. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before but they’re all just a bunch of hypocrites. How can they expect me to not indulge in life when it’s been out of reach for me all this time? Yes of course there are those who are all work, but surely, they too must have seconds where they let loose? The truth is, I’m scared. Scared this is ephemeral. Scared to go back. Second chances are rare enough as is, I’m not betting my limited time on a third one.

The next morning, my worst fear had come true. Compared to the scream I let out the night before, this was one filled with agony and sorrow. You see, the difference between me and Ava, is that I don’t have a halo which can magically heal me. I spent the next months in bed just as I had before.

Fast forward to July of 2020, after a particularly bad-flare up and crash, I simply didn’t want to deal with the situation of my reality. As I imagine many of us have done, I sought comfort and distraction – something to take me away from this way of existing once more. I shortly found myself browsing Netflix, however seeing as I had no capacity to choose what to watch, I clicked on the first thing I saw. This is where I found my halo.

Whether it was fate that had given me this show or something else, I’m glad it came into my life when I needed it the most. The story I told earlier is my own, so you can imagine my surprise when I watched it unfold on screen. To this day, I still can’t watch certain scenes similar to my own experience without crying. Not because it makes me sad, quite the opposite in fact. It fills me with a profound sense of gratitude. Never in my life have I felt more seen or heard, than I do watching this show.

I ended up watching the entire season that day. I hadn’t felt a glimmer of light since I ran all those months ago, but now, seeing characters in the crazy world of warrior nun that were just like me, just as human with the same hopes and desires, I allowed myself to feel hopeful. A better future lied ahead, even if it took time and wasn’t going to be easy.

I didn’t have a halo, but I did have this show.

Then there’s the character of Beatrice. In her I saw my old self, the self I was prior to falling ill. It reminded me of the qualities I once valued and held dear to my heart, but also all the hurt that comes with being different. Whilst Ava’s character helped me accept the situation of my reality, Beatrice helped me come to terms with myself. It’s okay to be me, something I’m still working on. I went from having no characters I related to and feeling like no one understood, to suddenly having two characters on the same show even and of course the community that came alongside Warrior nun.

In the following time since then, life has thrown at me it’s fair share of ups and downs. The difference now is I have had something to hold on to, something to keep me going and keep me fighting. I’m glad to say I have gotten a bit better! Still have a long way to go, but I know now it’s going to be okay.

After hearing my story, I hope you understand why representation matters and why this show is immensely important. I am but one person with one connection to it, imagine how many others there are too. They all have their own reasons for watching and their own reasons for wanting more. Representation gives people something to look up to, a way to not be alone. It allows us to feel validated whilst teaching others about it too. Having good representation opens and leaves room for important conversations. Lastly, the right representation matters because you might change someone’s life – just like it changed mine.

[voidsumbrella]

huevember day 28 - esp + h @ 150

there's a monster in the woods that comes out at night. a tall, long, buglike thing, with pale chitin that glints in the moonlight and scythed hands leaving gashes in the trees, in the dirt, in the stones. it's jittery, choking out clicking hisses at each movement it sees, puppeting it's own limbs like a marionette. more than lethal if approached, to be sure. it's not the only monster in the woods, of course, but it's different enough to be notable. villages set up fences to keep the bears and tortoise-snakes away; they set up guards to keep things like this out. ophelia isn't worried about it, but ophelia isn't worried about much. victor's a bit more on edge about it, and loops the mantis into the general cautionary tales he's started telling the twins. A listens attentively, B less attentively; both of them seem more intrigued than concerned. victor reminds all of them that they haven't seen it- he has. he knows better than to take it lightly. lorelai doesn't agree with victor on most fronts. she'll sleep with a knife, of course, she's not an idiot, but she's also seen the monster. it wandered into the village while she was out smoking on the monuments; she watched it skitter around from an alley and sprinted home the second she got the chance. no one actually got hurt- it wound up pushing it's way into some unlocked houses, but as far as anyone could tell the only things missing were a couple tea kettles. really, the threat isn't what people are scared of. everyone knows being here changes you- death after death, or simply a very long life, is enough to smudge all the details. if you listen to the mantis too long its hisses start to sound like words; it's easy to read childlike curiosity into the way it examines the world around it. who's to say it wasn't human, once?

[venndiagramsindeepspace]

I Can't Do It Alone

2023/11/13

0:37 I'm writing again. I'm hungrier than usual. I'm hungry. Period. What should I eat? Ice cream? I already had some. Yogurt with fruit is the best bet. I'll go get some yogurt with fruit, and come back.

0:59

I got the yogurt, and a glass of orange juice because "fuck 'em" right?

I also put all the dishes away that were in the dishwasher.

What I was saying earlier is that me beginning to write again- recreationally- personally- is not a great indicator of my mental health. Pardon. It's a good indicator of my mental health- and it indicates that my mental health is not very good.

Really, it's been in decline since... well... it's been stable. But it's taken a couple L's. A couple arrows to the knee. Depending on your preferred Gen Z/millennial reference.

The first major blow was when I lost a big competition this summer. It was a huge opportunity afforded to me by a bonafide celebrity in the community. And I didn't knock it out of the park like I wanted to. The worst part was knowing that was due to my procrastination. It wasn't chance.

It was also sad because the celebrity in question was whispering promises of money and fame in my ear. Now I feel like I've lost his favor. That hurts.

The second major blow was probably the student election- which I lost. It wasn't the losing that time that was hard- it was how the election process interfered with my life at school. I was losing sleep, and sleeping in my parked car. The third blow is kind of a run off of the first- struggling to manage my course load and also my part-time work.

The thing is, I should be able to manage it. I get caught in this weird loop where I avoid the work- because I'm scared of it.

I'm scared of it for a couple reasons. The biggest reason in my mind, is that the work will be never ending, and that will be painful and intense.

These aren't unfounded fears.

The painful and intense part is a lived experience I've had time and time again. Usually it's due to me cramming last minute due to procrastination.

The part about the work never ending is also true. That is to say, I've experienced it before. It's hard to say where exactly. When I think about it- I think about my eating disorder.

That was hellish. I'm 25, and not to sound esoteric or grandiose- but I feel like I've lived multiple lifetimes.

I think most people have, in there own way.

My eating disorder was hellish. It was work and the work was never ending. It lasted for about three years. Each year becoming more and more intense, with more and more work.

Of course, this is different from say- sitting down and doing homework- but I'm still scared of the cold callousness that I treated myself with.

The whip that I strang myself with. Turning me into a dead-eyed machine- aching to meet an unattainable goal. That scares me. And beneath that- is a fear of being ignored. Unseen. Unfelt.

That is not unfounded either.

I don't want to point fingers. But, pointing fingers is different from bowing to acknowledge something.

I don't want to stand high on a cliff and chastize and wane and burn spittle and fangs in the direction of someone.

Because that hurts me too. It isolates me further, pushes me away.

But something happened. And it wasn't just one something. It was a hundred million somethings. Okay- probably like a hundred thousand. Or maybe less than- but they were tiny invisible scars. Death by a thousand cuts. I'm watching Blue Eyed Samurai right now. Can you tell?

Basically- what I'm saying is that my mum can still hurt me sometimes. Even if she's not aware of it.

It's me telling her something, and her cutting me off with a new thought. Like she wasn't listening. Or her nodding and uh-huhing while looking at her iPad.

My parents both have busy minds.

And that scares me. My mum has scared me especially.

I'm scared because- I'm scared of being reproached when I asking for what I need. Validation. An ear. A hug. Someone to tuck me in. You don't need food. The hunger makes you stronger. You don't need rest. The pain makes you resilient. You don't need love. You can do it on your own.

But you can't, and it doesn't and it never did.

I do need love. I do need love. I do need love. And it's so scary to say. And it's painful when the people you need to survive fall short of the mark.

But I don't want to hold anger towards my mum. I love her. She's my mum.

I don't have to do everything alone.

I shouldn't have to do everything alone.

But I do have to look out for myself.

[luvkuvi]

PART 3

The world might have been unfamiliar to you, but you recognized a lot of it from the words of your fiancee, like the forge he mentioned.

And how did you know it was the same forge? That's pretty simple.

You fiancee was standing right there.

Although... something seemed very different about him. He didn't seem to be the person you knew. There was something very naive about how he presented himself there.

Not knowing if it's a good idea to approach him, you decided to leave. But right before you go, the two of you madke eye contact once. You felt him stare at you while you tried to go as far as possible.

The one thing in your mind is: if his words were all true, falling in love with you might mean his death. That's the last thing you want to see happening. So why not enjoy your second chance at life in a different manner? You would miss him, yes, but for some reason it didn't hurt you to think about that.

You realize the reason: it seems like you aren't human this time around. No wonder some feelings seemed to be weaker to you. It's not entirely numb, but at the same time, it wasn't too strong.

Some years pass. You were not sure how many.

You have settled down in a nation called Inazuma. Life wasn't too easy, but it wasn't that bad either. You wouldn't mind staying there forever. And you would have.

Until you saw him again.

He stopped in front of you, a smirk on his face, acting in a completely different manner than the man you knew in your previous life.

"You're coming with me."

And just like that, he takes you, making you work under him for an organization called the "Fatui". However, he had a soft spot for you. It seemed like he didn't bring you in to do the same work as the others. Your role was to "keep him in a good mood".

You weren't sure why he has taken a liking to you, even after you made sure to avoid him. Maybe both of you meeting is something that can't be avoided. You tried to not pay it any mind, since you still liked him despite the many differences from the one you were engaged to.

The more you interacted with him, the more you realized he's indeed the same person you knew. Except, well, he wasn't human. Maybe he lacked one thing here and another there, but you assumed he was just younger at the time.

Everything goes well, until the organization decides to turn him into a god or something like that. You didn't really undestand what was going on, but he took you to sumeru with him. He seemed really excited.

Of course, just like you expected, things didn't work very well, and he ended up being defeated. Right about that time, you deserted the fatui, and not much after you noticed that everyone around you completely forgot he ever existed.

You didn't question it much, and a while after the man (puppet?) himself came to explain it all to you. As soon as he realized you could remember who he was, he didn't hesitate in telling you everything. About the traveler and his companion, about irminsul, about how he erased himself, how Lesser Lord Kusanali backed up his memories in a way that they could stay even if he didn't exist anymore.

And his explanation made you realize that maybe there might be someone who can find a solution for that loop.

(We are getting there!)

-♦

SOLUTION TO THE LOOP ?!,#*÷¥ THE CLIFFANGER AHHH