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survivor-ingary · 3 years

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Rites of Passage

Keith: Wish we had more time to talk to each other, with time difference and going to the first tribal council of the season. That chance never came. Hope someday we play again.

Babs: It's giving Boy Mulan rn. Wish I could've at least said hi to you lmao

Dennis: We never met

Babs: Your vibes are lovely. I wish you could've stuck around longer :( 💔

Dennis: We never met

Keith: I’m you are a nice person but since you were so inactive, it was hard to get a conversation in the game with you. Hopefully you play again when u have the time.

Babs: Hi! We didn't get to talk at all lmao hope we get to next time!

Dennis: Hope everything is okay with you

Keith: I don’t know why we just didn’t click and spoke much. Even at our first tribal together we never got much of a conversation going. Sorry

Babs: 'm sorry, dude, I had 0 recollection that you were here when I missed my first tribal. Welp. What are ya gonna do?

Dennis: We never met

Keith: it was very sad to see you go especially for the reason you were being targeted for. The timing was unfortunate. Where three people came over after mutiny that were safe and people were very worried about you aligning with former Kyoshi cast members at merge. You never got the opportunity only to prove otherwise. I had hoped we could have worked longer in the game being OG Pendragon. Hopefully on another season. :)

Babs: Of all the votes I casted, I regret yours the most. I wish I could've kept you in, but it was the majority regardless of my choice. I hope we can talk after and reconnect. I love your vibe.

Dennis: Sorry Moth :( I hate that you were voted out but it’s not because of you, it’s the people that you would’ve worked with.

Babs: We didn't get to connect very much, but "m'theydy" will never not get me.

Dennis: You are a saturnian legend and you were robbed.

Keith: I wish you stayed longer with us and didn’t leave. In the time you were with us, I saw a friendly, happy and great person. Also a massive team player, who would be willing to color their hair for a challenge.

Babs: ROBBED. That's it, that's the whole rite. You deserved so much better, truly.

Dennis: Queen you were sooooo robbed. I wanted to work with you in this game and I am sorry that Anastasia and Brayden lied that hard to you to paint you a false scenario. You deserved so much better and I hope that one day we can see each other in another org :)

Keith: Just like you, your blindside was an iconic moment of this season. As much as I thought it was too soon for you to go but you putting a bigger target on yourself so that you don’t blindside people who you were loyal to, was going to make the situation hard. But There is no question about your loyalty hence I understand why you did what you did. But I wish we would rather choose a side then keep everyone happy and I wouldn’t have mind going with anyone at that point. I appreciate you for making the time and effort to connect with me at my pace. I hope you understand that It wasn’t a move against you but became a move for self preservation. Hope we can have a tea spilling party after this season.

Babs: Miss Shady Boots, I see you, ma'am. Wish I could've seen more of your mess this season. Hope to see you at Mary's one day :')

Dennis: King. I did you soooooooooooooooo dirty. I hope we can still play roblox after dis game. Once I heard from Ellie that you suspected me of wanting to work with Raffy it became very clear to me you were not going to trust me down the line. You were a threat who had to go, and I’m not sorry I voted you out but I am sorry about the way that I went about it.

Keith: This was a tough vote. I knew we didn’t have much of a game connection. I knew since I wouldn’t have the option to work long-term with you this season. I didn’t want to string you along on anything or give you any false hope unnecessarily because that would just be cruel. I honestly found you to be an amazing, down to earth and genuine person. Really wished we came together on an earlier tribe. Someone like you with such an amazing energy would be a great ally and friend. Whether, the game would go our way or not. It would still be a blast playing with you. Also, I know u don’t need it but the offer still stands. U ever feel anxiety and need a diversion. Call me anytime and anywhere, I will help anyway I can.

Babs: CEO of plants. Your vibes are immaculate. Please let's be friends after this.

Dennis: I wish you and I had developed a game relationship. We had a very strong personal relationship like I feel like we’d be friends in real life ya know? But in this game, you were working with people that ultimately did not work with me and I felt like your loyalty would ultimately never come to me. Sorry that it had to be that way youre still cool.

Keith: Never expected to see you go the way you did. You’re an awesome and sweet person. Excited to see you succeed on twitch and ready to support an amazing person like you in anything you decide to do. Drop that link.

Babs: Dennis constantly sings your praises, and any friend of his is a friend of mine. Drop that stream link asap.

Dennis: You forever changed my life when you told me I’m actually not a red head but a brunette. That’s wild. It was awesome to play with you and I’m sorry that you were voted out the way you were. It was very refreshing to play with someone who wasn’t coming from a survivor-strategy background. Stay awesome :)

Keith: I know based of the previous seasons. Your amazing to watch play the game. From your social ability to your executions of big moves, the fact that you never back down or give up, it is amazing. But all those attributes make it hell to play with you. I knew that you wanted to take me to the end because you could beat me. So day one I knew I would cut you sometime, but unlike last time. I needed to make sure that this time when I took a shot, under no circumstances I could miss. But getting rid of you was a decision that took into account only from events this season, I saw you subtly trying to push the narrative that I was not doing much in the game during tribal, to ensure I would have no chance to win. So I knew taking you out sooner would be better, which would deny you any chances of flipping things over. I thank you for supporting me through the initial start of the game and that immunity challenge (which I originally thought of sabotaging. So good call on doing it yourself). You’re a great competitor.

Babs: https://youtu.be/trRgAQ7L8mE

No, but really, your tone seems very pointed. I know that we're friends irl, but I'm not willing to get a strike for anyone unless they're dying. Also, my fellow finalists are fucking sick. I want us all to win. To hell w being a mess for once.

Keith: Firstly I just would ask for your forgiveness. I sat on that call, the night u left. N It was so fucking so hard, to see someone care about the game so much and stressing themselves for it, who would do anything to keep themselves in the game. I loved that passion. N I’m sorry in that moment I had no choice but to lie to you. You were a strong player. I don’t know if it’s the red hair, but you look like an evil genius, whom I hope, I get to play with someday.

Babs: She's giving Captain Brayden Morgan rn, we love to see it. It was fun to have a not-so-cutthroat round w you for once! Cheers!

Dennis: Literally we will never be compatible to work together in a game. Two completely different types of logic. And I am at peace with that.

Keith: I am really sorry about your vote out. It was the one time that I didn’t know a flip was happening, I appreciate you still putting your faith in me during the game at that point, Wish I could have done better.

Babs: Miss Beverly Hills, I will admit, some premerge tea w spilled w me that didn't sit right w my spirit. I don't want it to be something that spreads and comes off as something that precedes your reputation in the community. Some pearls of wisdom from a messy bitch, themself.

Dennis: I really enjoyed our lil talks and happy to help you figure out your rising sign. I wish that fire you had at the beginning of the game stayed lit.

Keith: I really hope you don’t hate me. I genuinely believed you played a great game and you would win if you got to the end. I worked my way in with Dennis, so that he would have more loyalty to me. I can say that after kindergarten, in comparison to my age. You’re the only little girl I am afraid off. Also I stan you for supporting Riley in the instant tribal that way you did and for your Kind heart. Queen Move.

Babs: Miss Country Costco, our vibes aligned from the moment we started to talk! You were a target from the jump, and rightfully so. You're a tough cookie, who still manages to smile and get a laugh out of the rest of us. Never change, except for the boiled peanut thing. Ew, you weirdo. LMAO ❤

Dennis: You’re an icon and my favorite person to have met. It has been fun to enable each other’s chaos and play this game messy. Super fun to strategize with you and our long talks were also a blast. Sorry that it ended the way that it did, but we will be friends after dis I know it :)

Keith: My fellow timezone challenged brother. Words are not enough to describe what an amazing human being you are. I am so grateful to have met you and can’t wait for the game to end so I get to talk to you. My connection with you may have taken more time to develop than with Dennis, But it was a true connection throughout. And no matter what people say, you played an amazing game and I really thought you could win in the end. Officially a lifetime member of the Kenneth Fan Club.Miss Country Costco, our vibes aligned from the moment we started to talk! You were a target from the jump, and rightfully so. You're a tough cookie, who still manages to smile and get a laugh out of the rest of us. Never change, except for the boiled peanut thing. Ew, you weirdo. LMAO ❤

Babs: My dear cousin in colonization, there should've been a final 4, and that's the truth. But, as most things go, that's just not the fantasy that played out irl. Your vibes are fantastic, and I love a gay who laughs at every thing I do. It boosts my ego. Really, it does. Keep in touch!

Dennis: I truly felt like sometimes we were the same person. I’ve appreciated and admired your ability to strategize and critically think. You’re one hell of a game player and I wish you had won an immunity or two because I know how bad you wanted it. I know you’re gonna shine in every org that you play because you are a king. You are a kitty cat. You are zaddy.

#rites of passage

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fuck-customers · 4 years

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Happy New Year hope you like Heatstroke

Yeah so. Event Services binch back with a long and harrowing tale. Those two shift days in a row on 30th and 31st were nooooot good for me. This is pretty much a 'Fuck how shitty my boss gets when she's stressed and also just fuck 14 hour shifts in general'.

The 9hrs on Monday turned into 9.5 hours. In 30c+ heat (and just a reminder, Sydney is currently constantly covered in smoke haze, we are always breathing smoke), but a breeze came through early afternoon to save us some. There was 4 of us putting up park signange in prep for the NYE event. I ended up schleping the ladder around a lot, I was the only one on that team that actually does weights so i carried a lot. Not a problem really except the signs and ladder are awkward to carry. Only real issue that day was my dinner was in the fridge all day which... turned out hadn't been working for 2 days (why they hadn't fucking put a sign on it about that I DON'T KNOW). Lots of people's shit got thrown out. My food was only just edible after nuking in the microwave cause i keep it in a thermo lunch bag.

The worst was NYE. 13 hour shift (it actually became a 14 hour shift). Started at 12pm, set to finish at 1am (I finished at 2). The sun was not forgiving, we had way more signage to put up because we had to wait for barriers to be set up before we could add signage to them (like line barriers for rides, entry barriers for VIP areas, that kinda thing). Our instruction sheets were BAD. They had OLD pictures that were tiny so seeing what signs were supposed to go where was hard. There was only three of us, the weather was in the high 30's and I'm sure it hit 40 at one point.

I ate a small brunch at 10 that morning. I did not get a break by 5pm like we were supposed to (park was to open at 6:30). I was yelled at by my boss for all the signage being in the wrong places and wasting cable ties (none of that signage I put up, or signage i put up with someone else's instruction they had gotten from my boss btw, so why i got yelled at idk). I was told to go straight up to my box office shift, I did not realise the box office was located outside with no shade during NYE (there was a marquee but the sun was low and behind us so *shrug* no sun cover).

I had to share a locker because NYE be like that, but the person I was sharing with was a ditz, and she thought I had the key, and she either lost it or didn't look for it properly in her pockets. Either way, I had to frantically run around in 38c trying to find her to get in the locker to change into the long black uniform pants I have to wear for box shift.

By the time i found her, got my pants on, walked all the way out the front and up the stairs and up the hill and down the path to box i was nearly dead. The other girls there told me i could sit cause it wouldn't get busy for a while. So i sat on a bench and then became very aware of how hot i was and how much i was not cooling down and i felt nauseous. And I had had like 2 and a half litres of water at this point, I have a 1ltr bottle so it makes tracking that easy. It just wasn't doing enough.

One of the Guest relations people hanging out up there went 'yeah okay you need first aid' so she got me some hydrolyte and escorted me down once I'd shaken off enough dizziness to walk again. Was in First Aid for half an hour, they got me to drink more hydrolyte and put an ice pack on my neck and gave me a barley sugar lozenge to get my blood sugar up. Then i was finally given my half hour break on their insistence. Got to eat at last. Had to check in with FA before going back to my box shift, and thankfully by then, about 6:30, a wind change came through making the temp drop about 10 degrees.

But I basically spent the time between then and 11:30 recovering ( I was on guest list duty and also did ticket collect, it was pretty quiet tho). At 9:40 my boss called one of the shift leads up at Box to see if they could send me home, and I had to say no. I was scared they'd FORCE me to leave after the heatstroke thing, but i NEED the money, this is my ONLY job, and I'm not even getting the pay for it til two weeks into the new year (it fell into the next pay period and i had no shifts inside the previous pay period).

They apparently were sending several peripheral staff home, I felt like I needed to find extra jobs to do just so they'd let me stay, but also, if i didn't stay past midnight i wouldn't get the public holiday bonus. I NEED THAT TOO. ESPECIALLY after all the work I'd done the day before, it felt like a fucking slap in the face even though i knew it was them trying to make sure I didn't end up getting sick and suing or some shit (As if i have the money to sue). Also I'd miss the Fireworks, which while not my main concern, still a bummer, because my dudes. Sydney Fireworks on NYE with a view from where I work. People pay more money than I currently have just to experience it. Honestly it's part of the payoff for the hell shift.

THANKFULLY my boss went 'ah right okay yeah just stay up there on guest list til the original end of shift'. I also made sure to stick my nose in on the sales end so i could use it as basic box office pre-training, since my boss has already said she wants to train me on box office. Somewhere around 10 I had my second break and wolfed down my food (they had a replacement staff fridge working that day thankfully) which i was glad i brought cause I never got given a staff wristband, brief sheet or token for a provided meal. Because I started before that sign in procedure was even set up for the rest of the staff. And then i went about taking down signage about 11:30, and then I did the running around taking signage down after 12, and like... the area we're in involves some steep hill walks to get to these outside sign placements (I'd put half of them up so it also made sense for me to go take them down).

And that's where MORE fuckery came in, because the shitty instructions didn't tell me where ALL the signs were, so i had to go HUNTING for the ones i HADN'T put up, and i swear either another department took them down and didn't relay that, or they'd been removed by council or something thinking they belonged to council. Either way i was up and down those fucking hills with horribly chaffed thighs, sore legs, sore arms, cut up hands from removing signs with cable ties too tight, and I couldn't find half the fucking signs. but at least I took one of the newbies with me to help look so I had a witness to not being able to find things.

So yeah. I had to go find my supervisor (no idea where boss was, prefer supervisor anyway, she's nicer under stress and poor thing was pulling a 19 hour shift) and let her know I was an hour over my finish time and which signs we hadn't been able to retrieve. She was fine with that, the rest of the people were scheduled for packdown to like 3:30 so she sent me to sign out.

And then i had to just sit for about 45 minutes back of house with some of the others who'd clocked off at 1 and who were waiting for the free leftovers from the VIP areas that came out at 3. I had a tiny tasty cake thing but that was it, then I left at 3 and got home about 4:45. Didn't get to sleep til about 5:30.

And I've spent yesterday and today trying to recover but now Iv'e got weird low-buzz tinnitus in my left ear that started yesterday and hasn't fucked off, several bruises, many muscle aches, and I'm kinda dreading facing my boss again even though she probably doesn't really care much about the signage thing, she just gets really shitty and yelly under stress. But of course I've been gaslit and mistreated in so many of my other jobs that the voice in the back of my head is constantly going 'watch out bitch you might get randomly terminated at any moment!!!' even though i know i probably won't.

I can just never be sure anymore. Can't trust anyone when it comes to work. Can never relax my guard, going to be stressing about it for a long time. I am never agreeing to a shift that long again though. And definitely not doing anymore outdoor setup shifts in Summer.

Honestly hoping this ear buzz shit goes away at some point. In the end for my 23.5 hours of work in 2 days I'll probably maybe get $500 after tax. Maybe. Which will only just be floating my account by the time i get it. Everyone else was talking about having that sweet NYE bonus cash and I'm like ;u; yeah. Sure. haha. Bonus cash. TnT I need a proper fucking career job already i am so tired.

#submissions #cashier problems #fuck retail #server problems #fuck managers #submission

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jawnjendes · 5 years

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the fog will clear up | shawn mendes

chapter 13/?, university au, shawn x goth oc

AN: sry its short and definitely a filler im sry its boring but it helps build up stuff thatll happen next ok ok im sry

*let me know if u wanna be added/removed from the taglist

masterlist | playlist

Annalise woke with a start. She was wide awake immediately. There was no room for sleepily rolling around the sheets, her eyes weren't heavy like always. She didn't know what dying and coming back to life felt like, but she was pretty sure it felt something like that. She had a weird urge to go for a jog.

Staring at the ceiling, Annalise reached towards the nightstand next to her, intending to grab her phone. Her hand touched the bottle, and she picked it up anyway, reading the prescription label.

Annalise Flores SERTRALINE 50MG TABLET Brand name: Zoloft

"You don't waste anytime, huh?" she murmured before setting it back down. Then, she grabbed her phone and checked the time.

8:47am. A new fucking record. Annalise rolled out of bed, unable to stay still.

In the 2 hours she had to kill before work, she tidied up the dorm, ate a decent breakfast, took a shower, and got started on the course work she had to make up. The energy levels were through the roof, she had never been so on edge and productive at the same time. Why wasn't she put on sertraline sooner? Sure, she felt hyperaware and borderline anxious, but that was apart of the process of getting on a new antidepressant. She was getting things done this way. Sure, she jumped when the lock on the door jiggled, but she was up and running anyway!

If she wasn't, she wouldn't have seen Stella entering the dorm. She was surprised to see Annalise on the couch, looking like a deer in headlights.

"Oh… I thought you were asleep. I'll, uh, I'll come back."

"No, wait!" Annalise sounded a little too frantic, but it did stop Stella from leaving. "Uh, come sit down! Please!"

Stella narrowed her eyes slightly as she went to the couch. At least she was willing to listen.

"I, uh, I'm sorry," Annalise began, rubbing the back of her neck. "I'm sorry for what I said. A stupid guy isn't the only good in my life. I have you. You matter to me, and I'm sorry for making you feel like you don't." She really couldn't stop herself from rambling. "I miss you. I miss seeing you here between classes, and I miss your optimism because a bitch could use some of that. And, and I'm sorry for the negativity I've brought in here. I'm working on it now, I swear. Just… come back. Come home… because bro, you're my wife, dude."

It could have been funny, but there was nothing funny about the way she said it. Her eyes were wide and pleading, and she was rubbing her hands together. Stella merely blinked her hazel eyes, nearly overwhelmed by that string of words.

"Look at you, expressing your emotions," she said after a while. "I can see why you hold it back."

Annalise nodded rapidly. "It's my first day on a new medication. Got me all sorts of hyped up, but I'll mellow out in a couple of weeks. And I'm taking therapy seriously again!"

Stella was surprised. "Oh, I see. Well… I've missed you too. Bro…"

"Bro?"

"I'll come home too. Camila's bed is too small for the two of us."

"Bro…"

"I know. I have to update you on all that."

"Br-"

"Okay!" Stella broke out a smile and stood up. "Dame un abrazo, puta."

That was much easier than Annalise had anticipated. She stood up and hugged her best friend, relieved. Stella wasn't one to hold a grudge, nor was she as stubborn as her roommate. It was another person to cross off the list.

Shawn had social media mainly to get his music out there. Yes, he interacted with his friends on Snapchat, and some fans on Twitter. Most of the time, Shawn just tweeted when he had new music coming out. He didn't check any of his social media very often, not even to stalk Ann's accounts because she was rarely on her's. He didn't even have his notifications on, purely to keep himself from the possibility of getting too attached to the opinions of random strangers online.

That was why he woke up that morning to a number of texts from Camila.

"SHAAWWNWNN"

"SHAWN IM LKTERSLLY BALD RN"

"CHEKC UR TWITTER RIGHT NOW!!!!!!"

"YOIR FOLLOWERS!!! AAHSKSKSK"

"SKSKSK SHAWNMM IM SCRAMING"

So to Twitter he went. Shawn rubbed sleep out of his eye as he went to his profile. He had around 10k to begin with, that he built up on his own over the last couple of years. He nearly dropped his phone on his face as he read the new number.

50.2k

"What… the fuck?" he breathed out as he sat up in his bed. He scrolled through the list, making sure this wasn't a series of spam bots.

His mentions were just as wild, and it explained the sudden blow up.

@hollaestor: @shawnmendes hiii bella told me to follow you

@samxriv: @shawnmendes i am free to hang out on tuesday to hang out when i am free

@gisellenjh: @shawnmendes bella sent me here and im glad she did! loving your music!

And there were plenty more like that. There were so many tweets, Shawn couldn't even get through all of them. It was making his head spin. There was only one Bella he knew about too… He just couldn't spell her last name. Thankfully, her handle was just @bellasanti, and it was the first one to pop up when he typed it in the search bar.

Right under Bella Santiago's name and the blue checkmark were the two little words: Follows you. Shawn refreshed the page ten times before it sank in. This YouTuber, who has over 2 million followers, somehow found Shawn's music… and she liked it. She liked it enough to tweet about it… 3 days ago.

@bellasanti: underrated spotify artists: @shawnmendes. give him a listen. send him some love. truly talented guy💖

Shawn had only overheard Bella's videos when Ann was watching them in the other room. He never really watched any of her content. But he wanted to pass out at the fact that she took the time to listen to his music and tweet about him. He wanted to jump on the bed. He wanted to call-

He texted Camila back. "Wtf why did no one tell me sooner?? This is so crazy!!!!!"

"We thought you knew and you were keeping it from us!! LMAO congrats rockstar!"

He couldn't believe it. His follower count was rising. He was getting emails from Spotify saying his songs were being added to many different playlists.

@shawnmendes: @bellasanti wow thank you so much! Love you bella❤

He deleted the last bit before tweeting it. Holy shit. Shawn lied back down on the mattress, completely breathless.

How does someone like Bella Santiago find Shawn out in cyberspace? What Spotify rabbit hole did she go down that led her to him? How many of his songs did she listen to? How many songs did she save to her library? How many of those playlist emails were from her? Shawn had so many questions.

There were two things Annalise noticed when she was out on the courtyard after Biology. The first thing was a table on the side of the walkway, with a handmade banner hanging off the front. It read in big letters: Shawn Mendes: Live at The Cameron House. Brian, Alessia. and Camila were all sat on the same side at this table, talking to a student who was interested in the little display.

"The lounge called back," Annalise muttered to herself.

The other thing Annalise noticed was Patrick sitting under a tree nearby, reading a book. She went to him first.

The last time she had spoken to Patrick was when they cut up flowers together. He was never one to explicitly state when something has upset him, and he has seen Annalise in a depressive episode before. Annalise knew him well. Patrick kept his distance because he didn't like the negativity around her, and he couldn't afford any more of it himself.

"Hey," she greeted.

His blue eyes tore away from his book to meet her gaze. "'Sup?"

"Trying to be less fucked in the head," she told him.

Patrick nodded in approval. "Cool."

That was all that was needed for the two of them. Content, Annalise turned and went for the table. A small line had formed when she wasn't looking, so she waited behind the last person. However, with three people running the thing, Annalise got to the front fairly quick.

"Oh, she actually showed up," Brian chimed, amused.

"Meaning?" Annalise asked.

"Thought you were too pissed at Shawn to care about his show, that's all."

She swallowed the pit of annoyance, discovering that even more people knew about that. Brian is his friend, though, of course he'd know.

"Selling tickets or something?" Annalise turned her attention to the two girls.

"Yeah! Ten dollars a piece!" Alessia explained.

"Cool, I'll take one."

Just as she opened the flap on her book bag, Camila spoke up.

"Wait. I'm pretty sure Shawn said he wanted to buy you your ticket himself."

Annalise rolled her eyes. "Well, he's not here and I can do things for myself." She pulled out her wallet and paid her own goddamn ticket.

Camila breathed out a laugh. "Are you ever gonna let him do anything nice for you?"

None of your fucking business.

A new thought occurred to Annalise. "Why are tickets being sold for this show? Aren't his gigs usually free?"

"There's more production going into this one," Brian told her. "The lounge gave him the option to make it a ticketed event, and we need to make back what we already put into it. So now, it won't be a performance, it'll be Shawn's performance."

Shawn already knew how to make an audience his bitch, but…

"Alright then." Annalise shrugged and then accepted her ticket and receipt from Alessia.

The ticket alone was already quite extravagant. There were little red roses designed around the edges. This boy really loved his fucking flowers.

"I'm guessing rose petals will fall from the ceiling or something?" she guessed with a chuckle.

"I was given strict orders to not spoil anything," Brian told her, folding his arms.

The two had a mini staredown until Annalise shrugged again. "Whatever."

Then, Camila piped up again, suddenly excited. "Ooh, Ann did you hear? Bella Santiago followed Shawn on Twitter!"

"She what?" Annalise stupidly replied.

Camila practically squealed. "She gave him a shoutout too! He's blowing up on Spotify! Isn't that awesome?"

Annalise wanted to say something, but her brain wasn't quite caught up yet. So she just walked away.

The other three students watched her leave. Needless to say, they were confused.

"Is she ever gonna be happy for him?" Alessia wondered.

"I think she was excited?" Camila said tilting her head.

"I can't believe Shawn is going through all this trouble for that," Brian said with a scoff.

"I can still hear you!" Annalise called over her shoulder as she kept walking.

All three of them went red in the face, embarrassed. Brian would have made a comment about her being a vampire with supersonic hearing, but he didn't want to be called out again.

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @1-800-khalid-mendussy @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @goldenmndes @shawnvvmendes @shawnsunflower @shawmndes @ruinhoney @someoneunimportantxx @calyumthomas @yourdeflightfullyleft @havethetimeeofyourlifee @wronglanemendes @chillingbythesea @softmendesss @mutuallynotmutual

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes smut #shawn x goth gf #aahhhh its so short n boring im so srryyy

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prorevenge · 5 years

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My hippie math teacher was real garbage.

So some background: as a kid, I’ve always been pretty good at math. It was always my best subject, I’d catch onto concepts easily, but I hated it. Not because math was hard or anything, but because no matter how much I hoped, my math teacher would always be the type that would be like “Use the formula I gave you or it’s wrong.” Now, see, my mind works in what others call “a super weird way.” Every time I was taught a new concept in math, I wouldn’t use the formula that the teacher gave us because I’d have a hard time remembering it and I thought it was too time consuming and expanded. Instead, I’d come up with a more efficient, step skipping formula that worked just as well.

Other students would ask me how I do the math so fast, and when I shared the formula with them, they found it much easier and did it just as fast.

So rewind to 7th grade. I was like, 12 or something at the time. I had finally got a good teacher that allowed freedom for multiple formulas because “math is math.” We had her for about a few months, and I really liked her teaching. She got into a freak car accident and took her leave, and from what other staff members told me, she was “lucky to even survive.” I never knew how bad the crash really was, but from what I was told, she cheated death. Staff said she was supposed to come back in a few months, and until then, we would have a long-term substitute.

Before I knew about the accident, I walk to class over in the way corner of my school. At the time, I remember having a class right before that was on the opposite corner of school, so I’d often be late if I walked too slow. So, I turn the corner of the building and notice there’s no students waiting outside, meaning the teacher had already opened the door. Unusual, but I checked the time, and I was earlier than normal. So, I knocked on the door. I waited and waited for someone to open the door, because usually it’s the nearest student to the door who opens it. I knock. And knock. It’s about a few minutes of constant knocking until someone opens the door, but he’s looming above me.

When I look up, it’s a new teacher, long hair and a beard, kind of looks like Jesus. Yes, he was a hipster. He opened the door right after the late bell and said “you’re late.” I explained to him I had been knocking the past few minutes and nobody answered the door, to which he responds “That’s because I told them not to. You should have been here when I opened the door to begin with.” I wanted to explain I had a far away class and I couldn’t be considered late since the late bell didn’t ring, but he didn’t take any of it. I had to go to detention that day.

So, let’s call this teacher Mr. Hippie for convenience. I sat next to my friend, lets nick him Bro, and ask what’s the deal with this guy. Bro tells me that I’ve already made a bad impression, told him to elaborate, to which he explains the whole accident long term sub thing.

So to summarize the first part of his teaching, he didn’t actually teach us anything. Instead, we did completely pointless activities that have nothing to do with math. One of these activities was a class game where we had to tell each other a list of jokes and whoever got the most laughs got the most points and won the game.

So we read these jokes that we’ve been given, and it’s a list of inappropriate jokes. They were all pretty racist, sexist, etc which we already knew he was extremely prejudiced based on his everyday, passing language towards us (some include “girls have good handwriting because they waste their time practicing their letters” and “the only guys that climb mount everest are white dudes because they’re the dumbest people out there” and “girls wouldn’t get raped if they just stop overestimating their strength” whatever that one even means). I can’t think of all the jokes off the top of my head, but here’s some I remember:

Why are religious Jamaicans obese? Because at church they chant “Praise the Lard.” What’s Miley Cyrus’ favorite food? Roast twerky. Why can’t the Kardashian’s swim? Because they have more plastic in their butts than in the whole ocean.

I objected against playing this stupid game because of all the offensive jokes in it, some of which I related to and was offended by. He sent me out of class that day. Bro got sent out eventually as well, because instead of using the offensive jokes, he said a stupid knock knock joke that made the class laugh out of pure stupidity. “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Pizza delivery guy. I burned your pizza because it had pineapple on it. Bad move, cuz.”

At some point when we actually started learning math, Hippie was a douche, He did the same old same old docking me points for not using his formula thing. We were doing white board problems, to which he forced me to do the most complex ones. When I did them correctly and showed my work, he’d think I was wrong until he checked his calculator. Bad move. So, instead, he erases my work off the board in front of literally the whole class, and says to me dead in the eye: “You didn’t show your work.” So, I said, “Alright, I’ll show my work.” So I did. Again. And he erased it. By that point, I was fed up with his bull, so I just left it at that.

When we took tests, we would grade the papers as a class. He would tell us the answers, to which he’d screw up on middle school level questions. Every time I got a different answer, I would ask him to do it on the board, and that would prove he was wrong and I was right. He hated me more for asking questions.

Every time I “technically” got a question wrong, he would call me an idiot, slow, stupid, etc. etc. and even passed a few “maybe if you were a guy you’d be more useful.” I tried telling this to the teachers, but they weren’t having it. I tried waiting until he would finally leave, but info came out that our teacher wasn’t coming back, so we’d have him even longer. So naturally, I did some digging.

Bro and I searched his full name up online and found an admittedly hidden link to his Instagram account, which I won’t leak, but it was golden. He posed himself literally as Jesus, with several sexual and racial posts and memes. He had solid evidence of smoking weed and vaping off campus too, and it looked like he was also becoming the path to an antivaxxer at some point. Some posts included things like “You can’t cure cancer, yet you take away our medicine?” Followed by a picture of weed or something of that sort.

Though it wasn’t exactly what I wanted him fired for, I brought it up with the counselor. She said they’d look into it. While it was followed up by several other students, I was walking home one day when I saw Hippie with a big bag of what looked like posters as he threw it in his trunk and drove off. We came back one day to a brand new, female teacher. Posters that Hippie put up were gone, just like the ones he threw in his trunk the other day. She explained to us the old teacher had been fired for suspicious online activities, and will likely have a hard time ever getting a new job. Since then, the Hippie’s name had been removed from the account, but it’s still up and running by him.

We had that new teacher for the rest of the school year, which wasn’t exactly long, but she did teach us math and threw us a big party on the last day of school, though she still didn’t approve of alternate formulas. Sorry this was quite a long one, fellas, but I thought it was worth sharing.

TL;DR: Got a math teacher fired for his inappropriate Insta after he made sexual jokes and racial slurs and straight up insulted me for months.

(source) story by (/u/TheAcidicFire)

#prorevenge #by /u/TheAcidicFire #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

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purplesurveys · 6 years

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358

In the last year, have you...

Moved: No, I’ve lived in the same house for about a decade. Started a new job: Nope, and I don’t exactly plan to do so until after I graduate. Traveled to another country: Nah, not this year. Traveled to another continent: Most definitely not lmao, if ^ that’s already a no. Eaten sushi: So many times, my dude. Gab and I had sushi for our anniversary.

Been drunk: Yep. As recently as last Saturday. Been high: Never plan to. Been to the dentist: At the start of the year I think. We always get our teeth checked once a year. Bought a new car: Nah, still using my usual one and I never want to trade it for something else, at least while I’m still in college. Had a broken heart: Uh, sure. It sounds cheesy but yeah I’ve felt hurt here and there. Spent over $1,000 in one day: I’ve never even held that much money. Maybe my parents did this, but I haven’t. Kissed a stranger: As a demisexual, the prospect is terrifying. Haven’t done this. Finished a jigsaw puzzle: I don’t think I got to play with puzzles this year. Cooked or baked something from scratch: Yes!!! I’m glad to say I baked something this year! Angela, Hans, Rap, and I spontaneously decided to bake chocolate chip cookies when classes got suspended halfway through the day because of an incoming typhoon. Started a new relationship: No, still in the same relationship as I’ve been in in the last two years. Broken up with someone: Nope. Been broken up with: Nope. Been in the same relationship you were in last year: There we go. Explored a large city: I guess, in the few moments that I had the time. Been to a wedding: No but my mom was invited to a couple this year. I miss going to weddings :( Been to a funeral: Thankfully not. Been to a baby shower: I don’t think so, not this year. Held a baby: Earlier in the year. Angela’s mom (who works as a pediatrician) threw a party and some of her patients and their kids were invited, and one of the kids was a really chubby baby girl that I couldn’t help but hold. Seen a therapist: No, I’ve been putting it off for the longest time. Bought new furniture: My mom’s in charge of that, not me, so no. Made new friends: Sure, you always meet some new people in college. This year it was most notably new recruits in my org, like Tina and Kezhia. Called in sick to work/school: Haven’t we all... Deleted a social media account: I didn’t delete, just deactivate. I’m doing a massive social media detox this Christmas break because everyone’s happy and family-centric posts make me sicker this time of the year. Started a new hobby: Coloring came to me as an impulse hobby last month as Christmas had been approaching, and while I feel sad about flushing so much money in one go over coloring books and supplies, I’m still happy I made an active effort to look out for myself this year. This hobby’s a blassssssst so far. Met a famous person: I don’t think so, if I remember correctly haha. I was like 10 feet away from Paramore but I was too scared to volunteer myself for Misery Business. Went to a concert: I DID!!! I saw Paramore for the second time!!!!!! August 23rd. BEST night of my life, even if I went alone. I don’t know if I ever reported that here but the experience was amaaaaaazing. Best band ever. Traveled via train: The railway system in the Philippines is shit. No way am I voluntarily riding a train. Traveled via airplane: Yes, I went to Bataan over the Holy Week. Been on a road trip: Yes, my dad loves doing road trips so whenever he’s home, we do 1-3 of them. I also did a road trip with just Gab and I when we went to Nasugbu for my birthday. Donated to charity: Not really for charity since they’re sometimes sketchy, but I regularly give money and food to homeless people who knock on my window when I’m stuck in traffic. Been to a country club: Yeah, a few months ago. Went swimming: Many times. The weather this year was not exactly the most convenient, so we went to a LOT of beaches to cool down. Went surfing: Nah, I’m too afraid to try. My sister and parents have had a few lessons but my balance is mostly off haha. Went hiking: NOOOOOOOO UGH I miss hiking! I wish I’d get to do it next year. Had a gym membership: I don’t think I need one, so no I’ve never tried to apply for a membership. Had an argument with a friend: I mean, just with Gabie. I never had an argument with any of my other friends. Had a family reunion: Yeah...dad’s side. It was huge, we rented out a small hotel for it cos literally everyone from my paternal grandmother’s side was there. I was mostly stoked about the food and the couple of dogs that my relatives brought. Went for a walk in a park: This country doesn’t prioritize and maintain their parks, a damn shame. We go for walks at the mall - that’s more of the culture here. Been in the hospital: If I remember correctly, no. Attended a professional sporting event: No. The UAAP (our version of the NCAA) season this year was CRRRRAZY good though, but I never got to get tickets because acads consumed me throughout the semester. Earned a new degree or diploma: I’m in the process of getting one, but no I didn’t earn it this year. Been to a museum: I went back to Pinto this year with Aya, Laurice, Jo, Jum, and Luisa then had a drink atop Antipolo after. Been to an art gallery: Numerous ones with Gab. They pop up every now and then at the mall and we always go through them. Went camping: I was way too busy this year. Went fishing: I don’t like doing that :c Struggled with an eating disorder: No, I’ve never been diagnosed with such a disorder. Been in credit card debt: I don’t even have a credit card. Had new neighbors move in next door: Nope, the houses on either side of ours have long been uninhabited. Gotten drunk at a work party: At an org party, sure. Dyed your hair: Nope. But Gabie did, she had the ends of her hair dyed like a weird blondeish a few months ago. My sister also got brown dye delivered to the house a couple of days ago, so I should be expecting her look to change soon too. Gotten a manicure: Not a big fan of getting my nails painted. Been to a casino: I wouldn’t be allowed to get inside even if I wanted to haha. The one time I smoothly went inside was in 2016 when I was on my cruise trip. The only things I remember is that it the place was filled with flashing lights and everything was super colorful. Voted in an election: No elections happened this year. But we will have our midterm elections in 2019 and I intend to vote then. Shopped at a bookstore: SO MANY TIMESSSSS. Call 2018 the year I got obsessed with school supplies, cos I definitely went overboard with buying pad paper, highlighters, post-its, and, pens. Dined at a fancy restaurant: Many times with Gab. Sat in a sauna: I hate saunas and can’t comprehend how my mom enjoys it so damn much. It’s hot enough in Manila, why salivate at the thought of saunas??? R u ok??? Had a panic attack: Hahaha, I remember so many occasions. Attended a religious service: My family is Catholic, I get dragged to church every week. Been pulled over for speeding: I don’t think speeding is a thing here. People drive like death and I’ve never actually heard of someone getting pulled over for this reason. Stayed awake all night: It happens. Borrowed money from a friend or family member: Gabie lent me a thousand bucks (relax, that’s like $20). I was so short of money last week but I still had a bunch of Santa babies to give gifts to, so I went into a panic until she stepped in and lent me money. Lent money to a friend or family member: I give Gab money sometimes since she commutes from her dorm to my school, but I don’t ask for it back unless I really need the money. Been to an amusement park: LOL pass. I hate amusement parks. Gotten a new pet: No, I still have the same dumb dog. Had strep throat: My throat hurt like a bitch a few months ago. Had food poisoning: I don’t think so. Had the stomach flu: Sure. Binge-watched a show on Netflix: Friends and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Shoveled snow: We don’t get snowwwww. Mowed a lawn: We don’t have a lawn. Bought a new computer: Nope, still have my same trusty laptop. Bought a new phone: My dad got me an iPhone 8 early in the year.

Worked out using a fitness tracker: I don’t work out. Eaten an entire pizza by yourself: Hehe. Felt an earthquake: I don’t think there were any recognizable ones this year. Taken out a loan: I’m a clueless 20 year old and I don’t know what this means, but I’m guessing no. Been prescribed antibiotics: Nope. Sold something on eBay: I don’t use eBay. Painted a room in your house: My control freak of a mom would never let us get away with that.

#survey #surveys

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yoongiandchiminie · 7 years

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P R E S S U R E { 4 }

;series;

masterlist

{Part 1} {Part 5}

Pairing: Reader X Yoongi

Word Count: 8,965

Genre: Romance, Smut, Fluff

Warnings: Smut, daddy kink, cursing Summary: After dating for almost 3 years, the armys and Yoongi’s label have found out about your relationship. Now you have to deal with it in your extraordinarily normal life.

Twitter was blowing up. The official BTS account had tweeted about a new opening act for the final show called “Slow Burn.” Sadly, Anthony tweeted about our name being Slow Burn a few hours ago and so the armies had figured it out quick enough. The reactions were mixed, but I just brushed it off. Everything about my mentions blowing up was downgraded due to my life ceasing soon.

“So, guys. I’m kind of offended nobody thanked me for getting us here. Jimin and I are best friends after all.” Alicia chided herself and I just heard Anthony groan.

“Yo, shut up dude. You know this wasn’t you.” Then he paused for a moment. “You know what? All you, Alicia. You get to do all the talking tonight. I’m excited for your first voice crack. I wonder if people will laugh or just be confused.” he snorted at his own joke and she just rolled her eyes.

“Hey Alicia.” she was sprawled on one of the couches as I paced around the room. “Is this karma?”

“Nah, this is a super sick chance, but karma is coming soon. Maybe you'll trip tonight.” She was probably right. I was clumsy.

“Fuck you, dude.” With that final quip, the door to the dressing room opened and Ji-Hye walked back in. She was a little fidgety, but she seemed fully put together and in control of her job, as stressful as it seemed.

She went to open her mouth, but before she could Anthony was already loud. “Hey Ji-Hye, quick question. Are we wearing these clothes on stage or do we get super cool clothes? You know, maybe that are breezy? Cuz I sweat- A lot.” Julianna punched Anthony and waved off his words, telling Ji-Hye to completely forget him and that we were grateful and comfortable and super duper grateful again. The woman only laughed us off, shrugging off our crazed words.

“I can see about getting you guys jeans and things, if you'd like.” We all nodded. It's be nice not to be afraid to make a sudden movement without ripping a seam. Knowing me, however I'd stay in this dress for the performance to make Yoongi happy. I knew he'd love to see that. “The stage you will be playing on is a bit different to sound check. Earlier we were trying to brainstorm would what work the best simply because the way the BTS stage is set up. It's set up for multiple movements around it and the other opening act was an idol group so we didn't have to make any adjustments there. However, you have instruments. So, we pulled a few strings and got you guys a rotating stage.”

We were all on our feet and moved closer to the woman. “Rotating?!” I exclaimed, “Can I get strapped down to it? I'll fall and die.” She was full of laughter as we all began to voice our concerns.

“Can I be strapped to Y/N? If I fall, she's going down too.” Alicia mused.

“What if it moves too fast and my skirt flies up? I can't stop mid line to adjust it…” Julianna nervously began tapping her fingers together.

However there were the guys. “That's so sick! Holy shit, our one night only got a lot cooler!” Anthony was ecstatic and Luke was right by his side.

“Does it just move around the entire stage throughout the set?” Luke was the only one with questions. Us girls still had hope we could get out if that full well knowing it was decided.

“Ahh, you boys keep me going.” she laughed, “The entire set it will move and slowly spin around the stage so that you never have your backs turns to one audience for too long. Between songs when you do your talking bits-” I didn’t even have to say it because I guess my popped eyes did. “Yes, talking parts. Basically explain what happened and that you’re grateful after your first song. Then explain a little bit about yourselves, you can do a cute little introduction thing if you want. Then plays two more songs. Talk about BTS. Another song. Thank them again, ask if they’re ready for BTS. Last song and after a bow and thank yous as you jog off of the stage. All good?”

We all nodded and she was gone again. I’d gone back to sitting down and was just running through speeches within my head. I was genuinely grateful for this experience, but I didn’t want to come off cocky or nervous even though it would be obvious I was dying. My movements tended to show my nerves, mainly by falling. I also had this really awkward hand that I didn’t know what to do with most of the time. It was- bad.

“Can we barricade the door until 10 minutes before show time?” Alicia asked, rolling back and forth on the entire couch she was taking up.

“I don’t think so.” Luke sighed sitting on her legs since there was no other place to sit. “Can you believe this shit guys? I feel guilty. I feel like we don’t deserve this and you all know we don’t… It’s all circumstances and we just got so damn lucky. Thank you Y/N, maybe now I’ll believe you picked the right guy.” Everyone except for me burst into a fit of laughter. I brushed off his spiteful comment about Yoongi. It wasn't the time.

Luke was right. It was all luck honestly and we were lucky for once in our lives. This wasn’t a normal thing that really happened, but here was the opportunity. In my anxious fit, I had decided not to speak no matter what they said to me. It was a lot of teasing of how well I’d do tonight with standing up and gravity, not my talent. I knew I was good at singing. It was always my fall back if my life fell apart which was slowly happening. Slowly.

For the next hour we sat in the room, doing beyond worthless things. I think Anthony had a fidget spinner and Julianna just doodled while Alicia napped and Luke kept going over chords on an acoustic guitar. I guess this was all of their ways of coping with anxiety while mine was just staring at something and thinking of the overwhelming darkness that was inevitably going to destroy me. So, it was a good time.

Luckily, we got clothes throughout the time. Well, I just got flat shoes. The man who brought them in said that Yoongi looked annoyed when he heard that I requested new clothes and he said, to quote, “What the actual fuck, I bought that girl a nice dress and she is going to shake her fucking talent off in it and I’m going to watch and be angry if she comes out in SKINNY JEANS.” The guy really emulated my boyfriend's attitude within the words, sadly. Now everyone was in jeans and cute tops and here I was looking like an idiot in a cocktail dress. I’m gonna make that joke on stage. Yeah. I’ll be funny. No I won't.

There was no press that came in to stop and we were all grateful for that one. Each one of the BTS boys did stop in for a quick moment while running through interviews. Jin was first and he came in to fix Anthony’s hair, saying he shouldn’t wear a hat on stage. The moment he left Anthony put the snapback back on, claiming his new haircut didn’t look good without it. Next was Jungkook who just held Julianna??? I was confused too.

Then Yoongi came in and gave me a squeeze and hi fived everyone. He wished us luck and told us he was proud of us. And that he wants a shout out. Asshole. Then Tae came in and picked up the acoustic guitar and knew nothing. Like, he couldn’t understand how to do an e chord when we tried to explain it. Hoseok and Jimin came in together. Hoseok gave us this long speech and Jimin just sat on Alicia who was in and out of consciousness throughout this time.

Namjoon came in last and sat us down. He gave us another run down of how it was going to go and made sure to stress that the ARMYS were loud as all hell and he loved it. Then he told us how good we were and how grateful he was that we were here and the last night of tour wasn’t ruined by a flaky opener. He left with hugs and a good luck.

“Show time in 2, come wait by the curtains and get ready to go.” Ji-Hye stuck her head in and waved us along. It was the moment we all stood up that I think it sunk in. All I wanted to do with my life was work, get married, and start a family but here I was about to play for almost 70,000 people because my boyfriend needed a favor. Wow.

The walk up to the stage was stressful. Everybodies eyes back stage were on us and I knew that if we fucked this up- I was done for. Not only would I be putting a strain on Yoongi, but if this was messed up it would account for the entirety of BTS. Then they’d find a way to get rid of me for sure and maybe even make Jimin stop being friends with Alicia. I couldn’t let her down here, I couldn’t ruin any friendships and I was too in love to fuck up my relationship. So, I’d let that push me.

At this point, we could see the lights slowly dimming out on stage and for the next moment we were alone. It was just the five of us standing in a circle. I had Luke on my right and Alicia on my left. Julianna stood next to Luke and Anthony beside her. As I looked through their faces quickly, I knew I was the only one who was extremely vocal about being nervous but they had it too. The wrenching feeling of making a mistake on their only shot… We could do it.

“We’re capable.” I put my hand into the middle. “We’re totally able to do this… C’mon. We’ve been playing these songs for the past 2 years. It’s basically all we know. We rock.” Alicia placed her hand atop of mine and nodded. “We won’t screw up.” Anthony’s hand was down. “We got lucky, but we’re doing them a favor. This isn’t some weird pity trip.” Julianna’s hand was down. “You guys are my best friends and I wouldn’t be able to do this if any of you weren’t here.” Luke’s hand was down. “All the love in the world for my favorites.”

We exchanged glances and nodded at the same time. In unison we counted down from 3 and threw our hands in the air, moving in for a quick group hug.

“20 seconds!” Suddenly instruments were being thrown onto them, the straps being quickly adjusted by stage crew to make sure they were low enough. “Drummer out first!” some voice in the distance called. “Wait 5. Guitars and Bass! Lights on, vocals.”

“We can do this.” I whispered as the five second countdown went off. Then the lights went off and my heart sank as I watched Anthony run to the kit on the stage surrounded by cheers. He began to play a simple beat and they clapped along to it. Lights began to play in motion with his drumming. Then the rest of them ran out, playing along to the start of our first song. It was called Tonight. They were starting with Tonight.

The countdown hit to three and I knew my vocals had to come in after the next riff. Before I went out, I pulled out one of my earpieces. I dashed for the stage as it began to move and hopped onto it, grabbing onto the mic and pulling it off of the stand. Here it comes. Here I go. “And every book it reads the same and all the pages never change. Growing tired of this same thing feeling.”

As I ran through the lyrics in time with the music, the memories of this song came back to me. I’d written it when I was 17 with Luke. It was my favorite Summer. We were going into our senior year and everything was amazing that summer. We’d all gotten morning jobs so every night we were out on the town and wherever our fake ids could bring us. Everything til that summer had sucked. School sucked, but here were the half free days that sung freedom.

“So let me take you out tonight, all that I can show you. Breathe these city lights, Let the beat control you. You’ll forget your life, everything they told you. You could lose your mind, if you want I’ll show you.”

It was our first time truly being free. We could drive at this point and the riff just came to us. We’d lived our lives as courteous students, never really breaking too many rules. We all had this comfort zone that we were hiding in, sitting around doing nothing. That year we decided to break past the harder parts and live a little. Enjoy our years. This was the last year we had before we were adults. We decided to make the most out of it.

I moved around the stage as I sang, falling into the music. Our music eased me. I was here with my family and in the crowd were my friends, even if some of them were possibly vomiting from seeing my face up here. They were lucky they didn’t have to see me vomit from this.

It was time for the bridge that was purely backed by bass. I made my way over to Julianna and she smiled, totally ready for her time to shine. It was the chorus a bit slowed down and my favorite little thing in this song to do. I clapped my hand against my leg to get it going and saw the rest of the band clapping along too except for Julianna. Here was her moment. “So let me take you out tonight, all that I can show you. Breathe these city lights, Let the beat control you. You’ll forget your life, everything they told you. You could lose your mind, if you want I’ll show you.”

The chorus came again, back up to full speed and by this point I was totally in my element. I loved this. I probably wouldn’t stop complaining, but this was my element. The last few riffs rang and the song ended, the crowd erupted into cheers and I couldn’t help but to laugh and smile. Everyone else was breathless and had the same look on- amazement.

“Hey everyone!” Wow, this was loud. There was a moment where I thought to put my other ear piece in, but fuck it. I wanted to hear them. “We’re Slow Burn, all the way here from America. A bit of a foreign thing right? Oh god, you guys definitely can’t understand me.” Laughter came from them. “Maybe some of you can. If you can, help out someone who can’t. I talk a lot and it’s a little irritating. Anyways, hope you guys liked that first song! We’re super grateful to get this awesome experience and before we go on- I want to thank BTS!”

Wow, that was loud again. Super loud. I slipped my other ear piece back in, but I could still hear them. This was amazing. “This thing on?” Anthony began his little talking thing.

“Yeah, I think it is.” Luke called back through his mic and wow did the crowd go crazy for them. They were two attractive guys and obviously these girls knew attractive. “I’m Luke, I’ll be playing you guys some nice rhythm guitar up here! I also play a little bit of piano too. The keys.” Everyone was full of giggles.

“Hey, I wanted to go first!” Anthony laughed, purely putting on some weird act the two of them had probably planned ahead of time. I’d never truly understand their goals here. “I’m Anthony! I’ll be playing you guys some nice drums. You know the drums are the real grit of the songs right? You’d be nothing without me and the bass line. The rhythm section.”

Julianna looked like she was about to pass out but I saw her quickly go towards her mic. Had they planned out this cute little thing and I was left in the dark? Of course they had. “Julianna here!” It was adorable. “I’m here to be the other half of the rhythm, some nice smooth bass all night!”

“Hey!” Alicia’s voice cracked almost immediately and the rest of us on stage burst into laughter. “I’m Alicia and I swear I’m not going through puberty. I’ll just be keeping my mouth shut on some lead guitar over here.” she quickly backed away from the mic.

“Uh, hey! I’m Y/N! I’ll be singing if that’s okay with everyone!” Oh boy was I awkward. “So, we’re Slow Burn and we have a few more songs if that’s alright with you guys! We’re gonna slow it down a little bit.”

The lights dimmed and Luke made his way to the keyboard that was close to him and played the first few notes of our song Let Me Hear. My vocals almost started right away and I loved this song. If I was going to be honest, this may be my favorite one. I’d written this song alone in full. Music, lyrics, composition. It was a little dark and twisty for a love song, but it was my love song. “I wish that we could hide away. Wear this flesh and rule the world. Through all our lies- our disguise, but they’ll never get to realize.”

I’d written this a few months ago when Yoongi and my relationship had gone public. I cried a lot at that time but he told me to channel it into something. He didn’t really mean a song at that point. Actually, he’d told me to get a second job or take boxing lessons. I wasn’t quite sure why me overexerting myself was his best suggestion, but it was.

Instead, I had found salvation sitting in front of the out of tune piano in my living room. When my parents finally separated, my mom said this was the most important thing she had to take. It was her parents first piece of furniture together and it held a special place in her heart. When we were apartment shopping, I swear this was the most important thing to her. She would have probably taken this piano over me at this point and sent me off to live with my father who had my sister.

The notes in the song slowly came to me and I found myself simply singing these words as if I’d known them my entire life. This song came so easily to me at that time. I guessed it was all of the pent up emotions I felt, but the ominous lyrics flowed. The message was clear, even if it was a bit hidden within this weird love song. “I keep calling out your name, so you know I’m still here to wipe away your tears. If we fall, at least we’re falling as one in the end, let me take your last breath.”

As I sang through the chorus one last time, I searched the vip balcony for Yoongi. I could see his figure there standing close to the edge, the lights blinded my view. His eyes were focused on the stage as it slowly moved around and in that moment I was so into this song. It wasn’t until it ended that I realized I had begun to cry during it from the raw emotion I was putting forth. With the last ominous chord at the end, we quickly picked up into a faster song.

X.U. This song was me again with Alicia helping with it. I tend to write most of our songs. Everyone else was capable but the sad part was that they were extremely lazy and never spilled their ideas unless I reached out for help on one of mine. “I’ll be there, hold on, I’ll save you somehow, so where are you now?”

This song was never meant to sound like as much of a long song as it did. It was written when the two of us were the only ones left at home. When everyone had gone away to school. It was primarily focused on the bonds we’d created together and that no matter what, it was us. The five of us always.

As the song seemingly ended, I heard a few claps, but the music kept going. It was just they keys now and Anthony leaned in towards the mic, the kick drum the only thing still going. “Alright everyone! I need you to get low for me, as low as you can go! Then when I say so, we’re gonna jump up and go crazy! Well, you guys. I kinda can’t.”

I went down onto one knee and as the music stopped, I jumped up almost into the words. “So if you wanna fight with me! Then go ahead, it’s destiny. Cause all I wanna do is set you free, you will be the death of me!” I was trying hard to still be fun and not completely lose my breath while jumping around. I had some belting to do here and I wasn’t about to mess up at the coolest part of the song. I just couldn’t help it, this was way too fun. I’d probably have a meltdown soon, but right now this was sick.

The song ended and I stood still for a moment to catch my breath, I caught eyes with Luke, who quickly stepped forward and began to yell into the mic. “You all having fun?!” He was met with screaming. “Yeah! We are too! We’re stoked to be here tonight! We’re a band all the way from America and wow! You guys are beautiful!” I could see some girls swooning from this guy. What a charmer.

“We just want to say another big thank you to BTS!” I chimed in, making my way to the front of the stage. “We wouldn’t have been given this opportunity without them and wow! How cool are they?” My enthusiasm was breaking. “But you don’t wanna hear this stuff, how about some more songs?!” Cheers. “Alright!”

The piano started slow. Here came When It Falls, the most vocally challenging song we had in our short little set for me. It was the hardest for all of us. It had backup vocals, a sick guitar solo, and the drumming was hardcore. It was speed drumming that Anthony could do in his sleep. It also had a bit of scream singing that Luke was super excited to do here. This song was always fun to play because it pushed us all to our brinks and we absolutely loved it.

“There’ll be no rest, There’ll be no love, There’ll be no hero in the end who will rise above. And when it ends, the good will crawl. The shining light will sink in darkness, victory for hate incarnate, misery and pain for all, when it falls.”

I’d written the piano in the start for this song and the guitar then had approached Anthony about it. This song felt like it was going to be angry and his girlfriend at the time was giving him all of that. He was pumped when we started this and immediately had ideas. I’d expected an angry breakup song, but he’d given me this much darker one.

His girlfriend at the time, Belle, was vindictive, manipulative, and always played the victim. I knew that he wasn’t happy in that relationship, but I couldn’t make his choices for him. After hearing the lyrics for this song, it was almost crazy to me how he’d brought that relationship into war terms. He’d written a song about war.

“This is not a tragedy, it’s not an accident. You placed your faith in fools and now you’ll smoother in lament. They play the part of allies, claiming peace their only goal, but once the fight for power starts, they’ll eat each other whole. Their iron gloves point fingers, they’ll wage a war of blame and mankind will wilt in pain.”

As the song drew to a close, I knew these were our final words and this was where we were almost done. As fun as this was, I couldn’t wait for it to be over so I could say we fucking did it. Even though at the same time, this was all I wanted to do.

“How are we doing everybody!?” I called out. “I can’t hear you~.” I teased and in sync we all pulled one of our earpieces out and cupped our ears with our hands. “Damn, you guys are loud, but I guess it’s because you’re excited. Who here is excited for BTS?!” They went crazy every time, it was amazing. “Well, so are we! We have one more song for you guys then it’s time to go super crazy! Here we go!”

This one had to be my favorite to actually play. It was called Hey Kids! It was a real performance oriented song. It had some cool talking parts and the guitar was absolutely amazing in it. I got to get some cool backup vocals from my girls and do some cool mantras in it. This song was written by all of us off of a riff that Luke had written. “Turn up the temperature, entice that golden taste. Give it some flavor, flavor, flavor. Just wanna hold your hand.”

We had written it without lyrics at first as a demanding song. Then it kind of felt- empty. So we did something that a lot of bands and artists could almost be afraid of. Hell, we were afraid. This could either ruin this song or make it fucking awesome. Happily, it did the latter.

As the long talking part approached, I made my way towards the rest of my band mates instead of the front of the stage. Every time I moved, I could feel the stage slowly rotating around me.

"You know? I'm really tired of your piss-poor attitude. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Show me some respect, jeez! Do you - Do you have any?! It's like you don't care about anyone but yourself I swear you do it to piss me off … You DO don't you?!"

Accomplished and it wasn’t super awkward. The smiles on everyone's faces were enough to prove me right. They were probably all nervous about the talking too especially cause I mainly joked around with it. I never really recited it the way it was written when we’d played it over the last 3 years.

“Let’s drive them crazy! This time, let an evolution shake our lives, we’ll overcome the chaos. Let’s drive them crazy! Sweet destiny, you are who I am living for-oh oh. You drive me crazy! I won’t forget, I will find you once again, just tell me where to go. Let’s drive them crazy! So, bring it on, I’ll challenge fate again and again Ohh- Oh Oh! Just wanna hold your hand!”

For the last line, we all spoke into our mics. “Now swear to respect the hero!”

Then, it was over. The moment that had been in all of our dreams since we were younger had happened and it was real this time. “Thank you!” I yelled into the mic. They placed down their instruments and we all ran to the front of the stage as the rotation finally came to a half right in the middle. We stood in a line with the guys on the side and me in the middle and put our arms to each other's backs, taking a quick bow all together. Then, we jogged off.

The second we reached backstage, I was greeted by Yoongi who ran over to me and picked me up, spinning me around. The entire crew was clapping for us, along with the rest of BTS. “Holy shit, you smell. Take a quick shower so you can see us perform.” Yoongi spoke in an obnoxious tone but he was quiet enough that only I could hear him. “You were amazing, baby. I couldn’t be any prouder of you.” he stood behind me with his arms wrapped around my chest, “Of all of you, really. Thank you for stepping outside of this one's comfort zone and doing us a favor.”

“You guys were amazing!” Namjoon came around and gave everyone high fives. “This was such a cool thing! Our best friends, rocking! You guys rock! We gotta write a song together because those songs were cool!” We couldn’t help except to smile and say thank you for the compliment.

“Holy shit, you guys do that almost every night?!” Anthony exclaimed, fist bumping everyone within a close enough range. “Major props, I need to hit the gym again.”

“See, you say that but you won’t do it.” Alicia joked and he just shot her a look. The four of them were sweating their clothes off, but I wasn’t as bad. I was probably bad, but not as terrible as them. They were holding heavy things and banging, but I was just attempting to be confident on stage. To have some sort of stage presence. I hoped it worked.

“We can train together! I’m off for the next two weeks!” Jin called to Anthony and slung his arms around him and Luke. “The three of us will train!” The two American boys vigorously nodded and I think everyone in the conversation knew they wouldn’t stick to any kind of regiment. They wanted to, but they easily gave into food. Lucky for them, they had fast metabolisms.

Yoongi pulled me away from the group, taking me towards where I’m guessing the showers were. I’d seen the American shows of this tour, but he was super excited for me to see this one. He’d always go on and on about how the shows home in Korea were something special and this would be my first time seeing it. Since we’d been in a secretive relationship, I was never able to truly fly out for these special occasions. Now I was able to, which was nice.

“Showers right here.” We stopped in front of a bathroom. “I put some stuff in there for you and I’m not kidding, I have a five-minute timer that’s about to start so you better fucking strip and wash yourself.”

“Okay, Dad, but just pull down my zipper first.” I groaned as he did so and then walked inside, slamming the door behind myself. The dress was quickly by my feet and I bent over to undo my shoes. Everything was off within seconds. I swear to god I took the quickest shower of my entire life, clocking in at about 3 minutes. Now I had less than 2 to get dry and dressed without ruining his night. “Yoongi!” I yelled, slipping into the dress. He burst in within seconds and zipped me up. “Quick enough?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m on in 20. Where are you gonna hang out? Backstage or vip? Are you hungry? Are you thirsty? Holy fuck, your throat must hurt. Oh shit, I’m s-”

“I don’t know what’s up with you right now, but you’re sounding like me. That’s bad.” I took his hands into mine to stop his jitteriness. “What’s with you? Yoongi, you don’t get nervous like this for shows.”

“But you’re here.”

“And I’ll continue to be here. So, stop it.” I leaned up and kissed him, reaching up to touch his mint green hair. He smirked into the kiss and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me tight to him and breaking it. Now I was just shoved against his chest. “You’re suffocating me.” I croaked out.

He pulled away and reached out to lace his fingers with mine. “Do you wanna do a song together? Like, the way I have So Far Away with Suran.”

“On your mixtape?”

“No, like even before my next mixtape. The fans have been begging for me to do a cover of some song, so let’s make one together.”

“Dude-”

“You always start saying dude when your friends show up, stop it.” he had the biggest smile on his face. “I think it’d be, I dunno, cute.”

“You’re too cute. Listen, go get ready for your show. It’s gonna be amazing. I love you too much and you know it.” I pulled away from him and began to walk in the direction of the vip balcony.

“I love you, gorgeous,” he spoke quietly and even though the room was loud, I could hear his voice coming towards me. He saluted me goodbye and I laughed as I turned my back on him and jogged to the place I’d watch BTS from for the night.

Some of the member's families were here, but not Yoongi’s. I could only guess that’s why he was so excited about me being here. He was such an emotional family guy, but it was tough for his parents and brother to get out to shows a lot. I knew that they went to one that was closer to them during this tour, so that made me feel better about them not being here. It wasn’t like he had nobody- he had me. I was his family too at this point.

There were assigned seats and I found a paper with my name written on it surrounded by flowers in the front row. Alicia was next to me then Julianna was next to her and then the guys. Of course Luke’s was written with skulls on it and placed the farthest away from me. Yoongi had tried to make the handwriting not look like his, but it was a little bit too obvious. It was extremely laughable.

The room was full of strangers to me, but everyone seemed to have a kind smile on. Nobody gave me any kind of dirty look, but only compliments. Most of them barely spoke any English, but that didn’t stop these kind souls for commending me for my performance. I just got extremely embarrassed and quiet and full of thank yous.

Five minutes before showtime, my friend showed up back in their fancy attire and all clean and not gross. Luke fucking choked at his sign and crinkled it up, throwing it into a trash can. He took the empty seat to my left just to spite Yoongi and I just rolled my eyes. Luke didn’t still have a thing for me, but he knew my boyfriend was the extremely jealous type and like to push his buttons. They were always on each other's nerves due to their relationships with me and a good amount of the time I felt like I was walking on eggshells around the duo.

The lights went down and the crowd began to scream as a video played across all of the screens. Without even realizing, I was suddenly on my feet and into the show. BTS was one of my favorite artists to watch live. They were so about their performance and making their crowd feel safe and at home here.

They were in such a different element when they were on the stage.They were still the goofy guys we knew and loved but this was more serious for them. This is what their 12 hours a day of practice every day goes towards. All of the vocal and dance practices, everything. They were dedicated to making this the best damn night of everyone who came to see them and did a pretty amazing job at it.

The moment they stepped onto the stage was mesmerizing. From the outfits to each of their stage presence, it was captivating. They were simply euphoric.

The entire show maxed to about 2 and a half hours and it wasn’t until 10 minutes before it ended that my attention was taken away. It was Ji-Hye, she waved the five of us off of the balcony and backstage so we could actually hear her. “Bangtan has requested that you five go on stage for the final bow.” We simultaneously shook our heads no. “They said you’d say that and they said if you don’t come out you’re all going home tonight. Also, they said they won’t see any of you during their time off.”

“Of course they threatened us.” Julianna laughed, “At least I look super cute now. Fine, we’ll do it.”

I simply shrugged and rolled my eyes, running towards the curtain to catch the final song. They were ending with OUTRO: Wings tonight and I couldn’t help but to move to the music as it began. I ended up jumping around with my friends and locking eyes with Yoongi who was running around the stage. He suddenly picked up his speed and sprinted right over to the curtain and grabbed onto my hand. Fuck it.

I motioned my head to the rest of the band and they followed us dancing out. Yoongi held my hand and led all of the to the center of the stage where they all cheered when they saw the five of us making our way over. When it was time for his verse, he spun me away back to my band, only to come back like a puppy when the singing parts began.

The ARMY bombs were actually the coolest thing to see all lit from the stage. They changed colors as the boys sang back and forth with the crowd. It was time for the cute little dance circle they did and when Hoseok called “Suga!” This man tried to pull me over with him, so I pushed him. Then he fell and did some goofy move off of that.

As the song broke down, Hoseok yelled into the mic. “Are you guys having fun?! Are you gonna miss us!?” Then his super hype verse began. The coolest thing. As the last chorus started, the confetti cannons blew and showered the entire stadium.

As the song ended, the twelve of us grouped up at the center. Slow music started to play behind him as he gave a speech. He, first of all, thanked the armies for coming out, then he thanked the rest of Bangtan for being there with him on his journey, he thanked Slow Burn and all of the people behind the scenes. He thanked all of their families and then thanked all of the ARMYS again.

It was all in Korean, but at the start of his speech, Yoongi leaned into my ear to translate the entire thing to me. I felt his hot breath against the side of my face as he spoke and when Rap Monster had said the thing about their families, he quickly bit my ear and I felt him smile against the hair he was leaning on. As the speech ended, the twelve of us bowed together and then Slow Burn walked off of the stage so the other boys could do their ending remarks and take one final bow together.

We stood on the side of the stage and watched them as they all got super emotional. Again, it was times like these I wished I could understand Korean. At least noises were universal. Yoongi’s speech was last and there were multiple “Aww” noises and the general vibe in the room was love. The vibe was always love with Bangtan. The connection they had with their fan base was insane and something to not be rivaled. Ji-Hye leaned into me and whispered, “You know he’s talking about you right now?”

“What?”

“He’s saying that he’s very thankful for the way army has treated you and accepted you. He said he loves you a lot, Y/N.”

I could feel my face heat up red and I instinctively began to cry. Luke furrowed his eyebrows at me but offered his arm for me to cry on. “Hey! Stop crying back there, I’m watching you!” Yoongi laughed out into the microphone in English and I began to cry even more. “Ahh, hell.”

I cried through the end of their concert and then when they walked off of the stage I ran into Yoongi’s arms and cried into him as he carried me towards their dressing room. “”Ahh, stop crying. You don’t even know Korean.”

“Well, someone exposed you and now I’m crying.” I whined into his shoulder as I sniffed out the last few tears. “Does my makeup look okay?”

“Yeah, oddly enough. I’m gonna shower then we’re going back to the hotel and I’m letting you know that you’re getting fucked in that dress. Just in advance.”

I looked up at him with a disgusted face. “You know how to make a mood even better, don’t you?” He simply smirked at me and went into the showers. I pulled out my phone and sent a message in my group chat letting them know I was alright and that I’d see them tomorrow. We’d figured out we all had the same flight time to JFK, so lucky for them I could make sure they got there on time.

He walked out a few minutes later in a nice jacket and dress pants in a hurry. “I’m wide awake . Let’s go, baby girl.” This man basically rushed me out of the building and into the van to the hotel. I guessed it was so he didn’t lose this high he was riding out so he could finish his night strong,

His hand was on my thigh, dangerously close to me. Eventually, he gave up on trying to be subtle and began to suck on my neck lightly, not leaving marks as of yet. He was trying to tease me and we were both aware of it. I didn’t really get the teasing when I knew he literally wanted to have fucking hot sex. But he liked it and it was his night. Thankfully there was no traffic.

Once the van dropped us at the hotel, I purposely walked extra slow to tease him right back. His eyes shot daggers and he literally walked over and simply picked me up. I jumped right into the lift and wrapped my legs around his waist and rested my head on his shoulder, right against his ear. “Watching you tonight, Yoongi… I could barely contain myself. You looked so hot on that stage… and watching everyone marvel over you… The only thing I could think of is that I would be the one who got to go home with you at the end of the night.”

“That’s all you could think about?” I felt his cheekbones lift and I guessed it was the infamous smirk. He got into the elevator and pressed the close door button so nobody else could get in. “You weren’t thinking about anyone else?”

“I could never, Daddy. They could never fuck me like you do.” My whisper was sultry and I knew he was fucking hard. With that notion, I pulled away from his ear and moved my hair from in front of my face. We made eye contact for a moment before he licked his lips and began to kiss me like his life depends on it. My back was to the wall and I felt him against me. With the ding of the elevator, he basically sprinted towards our room.

He basically dropped me to rummage his pockets for the key card and I whimpered at the loss of contact. For such a put together guy, I watched Yoongi fucking fumble that card about 5 times before he actually got it to swipe. Then I was back in his arms for a barely a moment til he threw me on the bed. “Let me break this down for you. I’m gonna give you the schedule-”

“A sex schedule?” I burst into laughter.

“Listen, I know you’re fucking dripping wet for me right now, but it’s been a long day. We’re making love at this point, yada yada. I’m gonna fuck you. Then you can suck me off if you’re down for it.”

“Was that a jok-”

“Shh.” Then his lips were on mine again and I was underneath him like he always liked. I brought a hand up to his neck trying to make it as deep as it could be. His tongue didn’t even beg for entrance tonight, he simply demanded and I quickly knew what kind of night this was going to be. His hand snaked down to the end of my dress and he broke the kiss with a string of saliva hanging between up and I swatted it away. “I don’t wanna rip this.”

“So, take it off.” I propped myself up on my elbows.

“No, it makes daddy happy.” He brought in his famous pout but somehow right now it was more sexy than pathetic.

“Oh my god.” I cleared my throat then tried to put on the sexiest voice I had. “I want you inside of me, please. I’m so fucking wet and it’s all for you.” I brought my finger to my mouth and bit on the nail while looking up at him. “Just, work around the dress.”

He didn’t take any time after that. He inched it up slowly and I swear his pants and boxers were off at lightning speed. “I watched you tonight too, you know. You deserve this, baby girl. You were so- sexy. Your looks, your talent, your confidence, the way you watched me tonight…” He wasted no time pushing right into me. His hips quickly gained speed and he leaned forward to kiss me.

My elbows quickly slipped out from under me and I now had one hand in his hair and the other gripped onto his side. I threw off the jacket with my free hand and broke the kiss for a moment to rip off of his shirt. I traced his defined chest with my finger to quiet my loud moans of his name, not trying to give him a weird headache right now. He was pounding into me relentlessly and I couldn’t help expect to bite his lip, causing him to break the kiss to laugh his airey out of breath laugh. “Fuck.” he was out of breath but that wouldn’t stop him from teasing me even in the most intimate moments. “You’re so loud for me all of the time. If I slowed down would you quiet down? Or do you still want it rough?” his motions copied his words and I felt like I’d ascended. We’d been in this hotel room for about 2 days and fucked like 3 times, it felt like a safe space to fucking leave my body in.

“I can’t help but think of all the guys who watched you tonight.” he continued his lament, “You looked so fucking sexy in this dress all night, Y/N. I just laughed when I saw them marvel at you.” he brought his body lower to moan into my ear, “This is my little pussy and they fucking know it. I get to fuck you, in and out. Nobody can fuck you like I can. Nobody will ever fuck you like I can. Nobody else will ever fuck you, period.”

It was in that moment that I came all around him and he basked in the glory of it. As I hit my orgasm, I screamed out his name as I clenched around him. “Just my words made you come for me that quick?” he teased me, again.

“Maybe it was your cock going 90 miles per hour.” I should stop making sly comments. He was stopped for the second and I took it upon myself to move him out of me and get off of the bed and onto my knees. He knew what I was doing almost right away, I was simply following his “schedule”.

I knew it wouldn’t take long to get him to cum, he was already so close. I cupped his balls and squeezed them lightly, knowing he liked that. Knowing that it would get him a little bit mad that his dick wasn’t already in my throat. He made eye contact with me and squinted, full well knowing my games. With that, I took him into my mouth and began to bob my head.

His head shot back and his hand instantly was on my head, with a small fistful of hair within his hand. It was probably barely a minute until his dick began to twitch and he came down my throat. The moan of my name that escaped his lips was probably enough to make me dripping wet again, but I had to cool myself off.

He let go of my hair and extended a hand to help me onto my feet. He wiped my lip for excess cum and put his index finger into my mouth. I sucked on it and licked around, not breaking the intense eye contact he was keeping. His sweaty, straight face broke and he leaned in to kiss me with the goofiest grin on. “Hey, Y/N. Baby. Thank you.”

“You’re thanking me- for sex?” I was confused, simply.

“Hey, we’re calling it making love now. I’m thanking you for love. For loving me.” His arms wrapped around me to undo the zipper on the dress. Once it fell to the ground, his hands were on my ass, lifting me up once again.

“Don’t thank me for loving you.” He pecked at my lips and unclasped my bra and placed me back onto the bed. “I just- love you. I know you. It’s not a favor or anything. I- I-” A loss for words. “Thank you.”

His gummy smile was on now as he pulled off my panties and jogged across the room into my suitcase to find me something to wear. “It sounds stupid or whatever, but I don’t know Y/N, You just- make me happy. I love being like this. Everything is just so good in my life and I’m afraid it’ll crash down or something.” He came back over to me in a pair or his boxers and handed me one of my shirts and shorts.

Yoongi sat on the end of the bed right next to me and watched me quickly get dressed. “Why the sudden glum? Is everything kinda hitting you at once?”

“Yeah.” The mood change was upsetting. His head was in his hand now and he studied me with intense eyes. “I’m just wondering how I got so lucky.”

All I wanted to do here was make a slick joke, but I could see something was making him upset somewhere. Yoongi had this terrible habit of pushing off his feelings until they got to a point where they exploded and we’d been trying to work on that. I just wanted him to be able to communicate his feelings with me before he took them out somewhere bad. “I think about that a lot too.” My voice was low.

“Yeah, life's great and we’re happy, right? But, I kinda fucked you over with this idol thing.” His voice was sullen. “It’s so tough for you and it hurts me so bad seeing you cry when you’re literally the thing that prevents me from feeling that way.”

“Hey, buddy.” He looked up with a disgusted face to the buddy. “Honey bear, Oats, Shrek. Listen. I can handle it. Sometimes I have bad days and maybe I scare you, but my budding sense of humor gets me through it. And you. Thinking about being with you forever and ever is fucking scary, but so are your rapping skills and look how good that’s going. So, trust me when I say I’m okay and know that if I wasn’t I’d tell you. You know I like to be honest with you.”

“I know.” he reached his arm around my shoulder and pulled my head into him. “This is just me letting my thoughts get to me at the weirdest times.” he had a smile on his face now, “We’re gonna sleep. Then we’re gonna wake up and go to America.”

“Is this on your schedule too?” he let go of me and elbowed my arm. Without a word he crawled to the head of the bed and tucked himself into the covers.

“Light.” he mumbled and I groaned and slowly walked across the room to turn it off.

Then that was our conversation for the night. I slipped into the bed and slept a bit away from him, only feeling his fingers resting in the ends of my hair that laid next to him. The lights of the city seeped through the curtains and I glanced over at his already sleeping self. He was amazing, inside and out. He didn’t exactly snore, but his breathing was loud tonight. There was something different about the way he was asleep tonight and I didn’t notice until I felt my tired eyes glued to his face in order to find out.

Yoongi was smiling in his sleep tonight and it simply warmed my heart.

Authors Note: First of all, I want to say I do NOT own any of the songs used within this chapter. They’re amazing songs by their respective artists and I simply thought they fit very well with the messages I was trying to get across!

Second, thank you so much for the feedback on Pressure! I love to hear what you guys think and my messages and ask box are always open, so please let me know what you thought!

part 5 →

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flameontheotherside · 5 years

Text

Erik's Regret

Between '07 and '10 my life was turbulent. Multiple breakups with pieces of shit. I attracted fucked up dudes and I had this idea that they needed love too so I thought by loving them I'm also helping myself because I was fucked up too. Many long-distance because I felt it was "safer". I didn't have to be available 24/7, there was more freedom, I was never one to be affectionate, and it was just overall easier....WRONG!

Most meaningful relationships to me were just 2.

Brendan was from California and had a slew of mental health issues. We bonded from the issues we both had. They were different but how we felt was the same. I would stay up late just to talk. Most of the time it was me listening to him and consoling him. We would end up crying together when we shared our war stories and feelings. I didn't feel so alone and it was hard being with him the most because I really saw a future with him but he was kind of avoidant. When things were good I wouldn't see him online and I couldn't call him because his parents would take away his cell and it was just a mess. Also, he had a female fanbase on DeviantArt so when it was public, I had a few hate mails from random chicks who threatened to kill themselves if I didn't stop talking to him. It put a strain. We were friends on and off and we stopped talking in '12. Since then it was just a few emails. Until he basically told me to go fuck myself out of nowhere last year. It still hurts because I still love him and worry about him. My biggest fear since '12 is he kills himself and I was never able to help him but I guess he's okay without me. That really hurts.

David was more of a physical handicap *sigh* and he was from.....Texas. 😑 We met online while I was still in high-school. Of course at the time I had no idea he was just using me (like John) for the fact I was this gullible geeky high-school girl who watched anime and read comic books. 🙄 I just never fucking learn. Of course not. I'm just asking for trouble. So this asshole had me fooled and got me good. At least he had the decency to apologize for what he did. He visited me right before 12th grade and stopped returning my calls shortly after. No one had the decency (Not even my mother!) to tell me... Ummm, somethin' ain't right here. I find out new years eve at a party via AIM on a friend's computer he said he just got married and adopted a kid.... 😭 For some reason I remained "friends" with him and even to this day occasionally chat. He also plays World Of Warcraft so I've done a few raids/dungeons. He's really let himself go these days. 😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Erik says we would have met if he hadn't killed himself.

I like to think if we did, just like in our previous lives, he would be like everyone else. I can see him being avoidant kind of like Brendan. Yeah something like that. He would be freaked out by someone like me who is accepting and shit 🙄. Then kind of poof on me. I just have that effect on people. If only I can poof on myself. 🙋‍♀️By bitch, see you next fall... Something like that. That's what helps me sleep at night.

Avoided the whole topic because I hate getting emotional and I hate crying. Nothing is worse. Feeling volnerable. I don't really get my feeling hurt but when I do it's 99.9 WTFM (percent) of the time because of a douchebag. Bullying is at tough one because it depends on a lot. Guys who bully me hurt a lot more than a female. Well let's face it females hate each other so... I assume most of the time the bitch is either on the rag, broke a nail or some guy finally wised up and dumped thier raggety ass (like me, welcome to the club). I had gone through it so much that since high school I don't cry or feel too butt hurt. I just have a smart comeback or roll my eyes. 😂 👌🏼 I developed a smart ass atitude since then that even gets me in trouble with "superiors". A manager harassed me (micromanagement and he was trying to show off how much a douche he is) one day and I told him off. Said something like he needed to back the off me and his little tactic wasn't working. I was sent home for sticking up for myself. Which was a blessing because the swat team came through to shutdown the company and everyone was "interviewed." long story....

Then confronting the turbulence in my life surrounding his death.

That's the worst part. I found a bunch of videos I posted on my first YouTube account. They were hard to watch. Especially the two about my wanting to die. In one of them I described how to "effectively" kill yourself and one dude said I should put a bullet in my head. That was awesome. Then the other I was kind of crying over a guy who messed with me (David and John) and he hurt my feelings by spreading rumors. I actually don't remember what exactly happened. If it was one or two people harassing me, I can deal with it, but it was so bad I had nowhere to go. School and the mall where absolute hell. For what? Over a little misunderstanding. Not getting emotional wasn't going to happen. That whole incident was the worst. Bad breakups, my mom having cancer and bullying happened all at once. I was falling apart. Since then nothings hit me as hard. If I could live through that, pretty everything else is 🍬 candy. What doesnt kill you make you stronger. Very true. 😒 Meh...

Yes I was (at times still am) pissed the fuck off that he killed himself. I had this goal since I was 11...well actually I was 7 but I needed to find "him" and was very specific in knowing he had a lot of issues like me. It wasn't the usual 💞😍💞. oh I'm looking for my soulmate bullshit. It was that I knew he wasn't local although a few times thought so I guess hoping I was wrong. Majority of the time I knew I had to start looking online. I was 11 when I was allowed to use the internet. Intuition was working fulltime or trying to. My psychic abilities were there and it was scary to know what was going to happen. If only I knew about this. Well I kinda did.

That Alanis Morrisette song Ironic has a new meaning.

.... And I hate it. 😑 In fall '09 I moved out of Josh's apartment. We broke up and my best friend drove 4 hours both ways to get me home. I knew it was "over". Shortly after settling back in, Erik found me bawling over this Game Over feeling. I asked a psychic about the outcome of our relationship and he said something like, sorry for your loss. I was like, ummm... Okay?

Josh gave me a fake 🌸 flower that was squishy and if you squeeze it, it lit-up. It sat on my windowsill. It flew across to the door and it freaked me out. Like, okay my house is finally haunted and I'm going to pretend it didn't happen and keep crying. I just knew it was over. I didn't want to have serious relationships after that and I didn't for a few years. I put everything aside to "look" for Erik. I passed up opportunities to travel the world and study music. That's what I really wanted to do. I just took whatever local college that accepted me just to please my mom. My heart was never in it because well I'm not working in hospitality and hardly did. My heart had always been set on Erik. Only I didn't know it at the time.

The most chilling thing about the whole thing is that feeling I had in '09 that it was over.

I just threw in the towel. Like what now? 21 years wasted. Then because of my depression over the worst break up at the time I threw away more time to play the field, drinking and abusing drugs; partying for 5 years and here I am now. Hating the fact that I kind of wasted my life. Having accomplished nothing of what I wanted to do. 🙄 Don't tell me some cheesy shit about how it's never too late and age is nothing but a number garbage. Uhhhh yeah... It's too late for me 😑. I don't have the luxury at my age to do what I should have done 12 or so years ago.

I won't make this longer than it needs to be. This is what makes this whole experience hurtful. It's not that I get retarded emails sent to me. 😕 The most agonizing and painful thing is he threw his life away and if it's true that we would have met if he waited well... You get the idea. Yet at the same time, say if he committed suicide while we are "together" I'm pretty fucking sure I'd be a permanent psych hospital resident or have killed myself too. If he died of natural causes or accident, I'd still be a mess but not as much. So how you look at it, outcome isn't so great. Even now. I rather talk to the living.

😘 💞 💕 ❤️ Good morning and good luck!

I forgot... I'm still intuitive and a medium. No matter how he died if we were ever together, I'm 99.9 WTFM (percent) certain I'd be dead either mentally or physically in some shape or form. 🤷🏼‍♀️

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and shit. channelingerik.com.

Submit a Twin Flame reading for free at TwinFlameMedium.Com and I provide detailed and lengthy readings starting at $5 per question at Store.TwinFlameMedium.Com

(◕‿◕)♡ Social: Twitter Tumblr Instagram YouTube

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holsthoughts · 5 years

Text

t h r e e

this post, entirely about gabbie hanna. which is very fitting considering i associate the number three with her.

where to start? i suppose at the beginning. that being september 2016.

i don't remember exactly when but sometime before drop the mic tour i fell in love with her videos, and i mean i fell fuckin hard lol. i just connected to her on a way i didn't really understand as a just-turned-sixteen-year-old girl. anyway, the first video i remember being posted after i started stanning was ‘how social media ruins relationships’ a dance video, that gabbie rarely posts but has stuck with me as my first proper memory of her. and the beginning of something mad.

if anyone reading this doesn't know gabbie (hi, were have u been?) she's a youtuber. she's the gal in my icon <3 not only is she a youtuber she's also. musician (currently with six (technically 7) songs out and an album called ‘this time next year’ on the way), author (of adultolescence which reached number 3 (three, see?) on the New York times bestseller list, with book two on the way also), illustrator (of said ny times bestselling book and various other designs), tv host (for a while on the revamped TRL) and so much more but of course i'm biased and could go o forever so i'll leave it there.

after deciding to subscribe and do the general social media stalk of and internet personality of someone i’ve just found i was obsessed and over two years later, still am <3

i changed my twitter @ to a gabbie fan account, made friends (with some of the most amazing people) and just felt so at home. sounds crazy but it was like something clicked and not only did i fall in love with gabbie, i also fell in love with her community.

january 2017; something past 2am, i'm awake for some apparent reason and gabbie goes live on live.ly (i know, long ago) of course i join and this is where I got my first gabbie notice (which i know isn't everything but it was something so heartwarming knowing that after a couple months she saw me) she did this emoji game where she’d act out an emoji and the first person to correctly guess and send it in the chat would be ‘best friended’. in this stream she also announced that she’d be coming to london for summer in the city.

summer in the city is a video convention in the uk (obv) in august, this was suuucchhh a big deal as i was already planning to go and the fact that she’d be there was the BEST feeling ever. in the time between she announced and it finally came around i got my follow from her on twitter (which also has a cute story behind it - i made a deal with my step dad, if I got an A in any of my january exams (which i was getting the results for on March 3rd) he would buy me my ticket to sitc. so of course i was v nervous, went to bed - or at least tried to - the night before and work up on the third to gabbie’s follow, which probably doesn't sound like a big deal so literally everyone else ever but it just felt like a lil ‘good luck, u got this’ from her which meant frickin everything. so i got an A, therefore got my ticket and was so ready for august.

august 2017; the fourth of august, my mam, joel and i set off to london on the mega bus. me excited as anything as i was on my way to london after not having gone for about 6 years, getting ready to see three of my best pals (who i was meeting for the first time the next day because of gabbie) and also preparing myself to see gab irl for the first time ever. right as i saw about to try and sleep i got a message from a twitter mutual of a video of gabbie saying hi to me after they’d met her at their hotel lobby, i lost my mind and couldn't sleep after, naturally. the fifth of august, i got up in a shitty ibis budget hotel room in barking early af to get ready and make sure i looked presentable to go to the excel (which was an hour away on the tube, nightmare), went to breakfast and was too nervous to eat lmao (not like me AT ALL) and then we were off. i met chaz first, then eli then toni who where the best company that weekend and i'm so grateful for them. we waited two hours at main stage for the comedy panel to be able to get front row to see gabbie at her first sitc 2017 panel which was crazy emotional. i screamed, laughed, cried (yes, cried) and lost my fucking mind at gabbie literally jumping off the fucking stage and run over to chaz (who i was standing next to) and hugged her and then toni. frickin insane dude. we had such a good day and were all buzzing to se meeting gabbie the next day. the sixth of august, maybe my favourite day of my entire life <3 we ended up leaving the hotel late which wasn't fun considering gabbie had a panel at 12 and of course we wanted to get front row. chaz managed to get there first and toni and i joined her, the doors opened and we (along with the 15 others who also wanted front row ran to the queue, literally RAN and i do not run usually, sis made an exception for my fave <3 anyway we got front row and eli (who was late) sat behind us and we watched gab so sooo well. she kept looking over at us and making cute faces, looking right fuckin at us whilst mentioning her community and projects etc. and she done so fuckin well when hazel hayes (a knob) literally came for her for absolutely no reason, which tuned into a joke lol. next, another main stage panel which we got to second row for since we were late as the schedule didn't have that panel on it LOL (ty for that sitc) next, my fave part, getting legend herself<333 toni and eli went earlier than chaz and i because they had to leave early. chaz and i tried to wait until last but some bitchy af girls were doing the same and we heard that she might have to leave early so joined the queue. meeting her; my favourite moment ever. has went first and i stood recording until gabbie says to chaz “ya who’s the rest of the squad” making me lose me mind internally LOL, i knew she knew about us since chaz had dm’ed her saying and gab had said that she was looking out for us in the crowd of panels AWW. chaz said about how eli and toni had come earlier and then said “so its just me and holly left” and at that moment gabbie looked at me, right into my fucking soul and said “hi holly!” and opened her arms to me <333 OUCH IM SOFT. she was and still is the best. we had a cute AF lil convo where she told the security (because they were looking at us stupid bc of how excited we all were and also bc she spent so much longer with us than anyone else lmao) that chaz an i “are twitter icons” which i died at ouchie. she then complemented my hair (which i’d dyed purple and blue to match hers - cringe, yes - to then find out she dyed hers blonde a week before london LMAO of course. i told her how i also got my nose pierced bc of her and she told me “you gotta do all these now” showing me her ears that had SIX new piercings that she’d got for a vid that wasn't out at the time, saying “next time i see you, next year, you better have five” which of course i did literally five days after meeting her lol, love that for me, even though i didn't see her the next year (ouch)

skipping a lot but gabbie truly means so so much to me, and this for sure won't be the last time i do a post about her. she truly deserves the world <3

- h

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storiesbyjes2g · 7 years

Text

Aubrey thanked her sister for getting them out of the house so quickly. Of all the ready-made excuses she had prepared, that was one she hadn’t thought of, and it was brilliant. She and Julio were all smiles as they made their way to the venue. Aubrey wished she could have seen their faces as they walked in ahead of her. The “wows” she heard, however, were all the confirmation she needed.

“This place is sick, Aubrey,” Julio said.

“Yeah! A thousand times better than the hall we had our prom in,” Maya said.

She hadn’t done all the work herself, of course, but she could claim responsibility for the venue. Aubrey was nervous about contacting the proprietor. She was so young and never had that kind of responsibility before. And, honestly, she thought the place was way out of their league, but she had to try. But, after explaining who she was and what she wanted to do, the proprietor seems very keen on helping her. He even gave her a discount. It was so easy. Almost like he thought she was someone important.

“Hey,” Maya shouted. “I should take you guys’ picture!”

“Do you know how to work this?”

She sucked her teeth. “It’s a camera with fancy lights, Aubrey. Come on.”

Aubrey and Julio stood in place and smiled.

“Ok…one, two, three!”

“Cuuuuute! Let’s do another one! And, uhhh, you guys can get a little closer if you want. I won’t tell anyone.” She winked at them. “Oooh! Let’s change the background on this one.”

Aubrey appreciated her excitement and was glad she was having fun. That was the whole reason for inviting her to chaperone. She didn’t talk to her about it, but she was concerned about her sister. Maya didn’t seem ok after Anthony broke up with her. She didn’t even tell her. Aubrey overheard their parents discussing it one night. It explained her detached behavior.

Aubrey and Julio looked at each other awkwardly as they attempted a new pose for the next picture. They knew want Maya wanted, but they weren’t that comfortable with each other. Besides, they weren’t dating. They had not even worked out exactly how they felt about each other. Aubrey settled on another friendly pose with her elbow on his shoulder. It wasn’t what Maya wanted, but at least they were touching.

Maya said “one more” like four more times, and each time she encouraged them to get closer. It was very annoying, and Aubrey hoped it hadn’t been a mistake asking her to chaperone. She didn’t want to deal with her trying to push them together all night. Maya probably would have continued taking pictures if she let her.

“Maya, I need you to go downstairs and make sure the drink fountains and buffets are filled…and look presentable.”

She knew the caterer had already been there, but Maya needed tasks to busy herself with and stay out of her hair. Within a few minutes, her classmates began trickling in, and she got nervous. She hoped for a fun, drama-free evening. Garrison, her least favorite friend, was starting his antics already. He was trying to swindle a dance out of Marisol even though everyone knew she was way out of his league. She was way out of everyone’s league. She was that girl who was too popular for her own good, yet somehow she and Aubrey managed to be warm acquaintances.

Aubrey found herself in an interesting position on the high school social food chain. She knew someone from all the ranks and had managed to be liked by all of them. Some of them appreciated her more than others, but for the most part, she didn’t have any enemies in school. She and her group of friends were in the center of things. They were popular, pretty, and liked enough not to be on the bottom of the food chain, but not popular and pretty enough to be at the top. However, everyone always secretly knew that everyone loved Aubrey and thought she was too pretty to be stuck in the middle and belonged at the top. She would freak out if she knew Marisol was intimidated by her.

A few more classmates slipped past her, and she broke away from her friends to greet them. The first person she saw downstairs was Keegan Faust. She was so glad to see him, she practically ran over to him.

“I’m so glad you could make it!”

She was concerned he wouldn’t be able to afford to pay the dues and buy an appropriate outfit, but there he was standing right in front of her and looking quite dapper.

“And, you look great,” she said.

He blushed. “Thanks. S-so do you…and this is a great place too.”

She always suspected he may have had a crush on her, and now she knew for sure. She felt so sorry for him and his brother and always took care to make him feel included. He must have taken that care as interest. Or, maybe he appreciated it and got caught up in the process.

Aubrey went around greeting more people while Maya found someone she knew and sat with her. It was Cayla Mumbach, Chasity’s oldest daughter. Maya didn’t know her that well, but they had met a few times at family functions. It was so hard to keep up with all the cousins and their children.

After everyone was accounted for and greeted, Aubrey took off her host hat and put on her party hat and began to enjoy the fruits of labor with her friends…mostly Julio. As she was dancing, she noticed Keegan had gotten a bit bold and was talking to Marisol. Everyone–including Aubrey–also secretly knew that Keegan really belonged at the bottom of the social food chain, but his association with Aubrey elevated him. Still, he had no business trying to talk to Marisol. She was nervous for him yet proud that he wasn’t afraid to try. Marisol didn’t seem to be enjoying the conversation, but she didn’t walk away either.

The DJ was on point, and everyone stayed on the dance floor practically all night. It was the perfect evening Aubrey dreamed it would be.

“This is so awesome,” Julio shouted.

“What?”

“THIS IS SO AWESOME!”

“Yeah! Right?”

“You should be proud,” Julio said.

Aubrey blushed. “It’s not like I did all of this by myself, you know.”

“Yeah, but everyone knows you did all the important stuff. You should be proud.”

His appreciation meant so much. She had nothing more to say.

Everyone seemed to work up an appetite at the same time and rushed the buffet. Aubrey danced with Julio all night, but they weren’t attached at the hip. She did break away at times to hang with her other friends. He was free to do the same. It was nice, however, to see how everyone recognized and even respected their friendship. Wherever he was, there was always room for her and vice versa. Prime example: Aubrey thought it would be polite to let everyone get food ahead of her. By the time she got her food, there were only a few empty seats: one seat at the table with people at the bottom of the food chain, an empty table, and one seat next to Julio. She never had to make demands like Marisol did. People anticipated what she wanted and gave it to her.

Although the room was buzzing with conversations, and the DJ was still spinning those funky fresh beats, somehow Aubrey felt like she and Julio were having a nice, quiet dinner together. Kind of like they were on a date. It was nice. She wondered if he would ever want to go on a real date with her. Would they even work as a couple?

Marisol came over to the table and talked to Aubrey for the first time all night. “This is cool.”

Aubrey knew that was the best compliment she would get out of her. Needless to say, Marisol was a bit prideful. While she had her attention, she decided to prod around for some information.

“Hey, I saw you and Keegan talking all night. Do you like him?”

“Meh. He’s so sad, you know? I feel sorry for him…

“He’s kinda cute though…. But, it would never work.”

Aubrey’s heart dropped. She wished she could protect him from heartbreak and hoped he knew what he was doing.

After she finished her food, she made the obligatory appearance with her cousin and pseudo-cousin. She and Graham Pruett–her great-uncle Emerson’s son–were the same age but they weren’t that close. They weren’t in the same circles, and unfortunately, his relationship with her did not elevate his social status like it did for Keegan. He seemed happy enough at the bottom though. And, of course, there was Sharon Mumbach: Derek’s adopted daughter from OJenn’s previous relationship.

While she was making small talk with them, her phone vibrated. It was a text from her dad.

Hope you’re having fun. Don’t have too much juice…and no tongue! 😛 Love you!

She laughed so loud, everyone glanced over at her.

Tongue?! EWWW! Luv u 2 😀

Prom was supposed to end at 2 a.m., but no one–including the DJ–felt like going home.

“All right, kids,” the DJ yelled, “Let’s say we have an after partaaaaaaaay!”

All the students hollered and cheered and rushed back to the dance floor. It was epic. Aubrey was beyond proud.

After another two hours, the party finally began to die down and people began slowly making their exit. Maya took the opportunity to have another plate of food while Aubrey took the opportunity to do something a bit weird. She could feel Maya burning a hole in the side of her head.

“I cannot believe you brought that with you,” Maya said. “You’re a dork. You know that, right?”

“What? I have school tomorrow!”

“You can’t wait until you get home?”

“Dude, I don’t know about you, but I’m going STRAIGHT to bed when we get home and I’m going to sleep alllllll day. Then, I’m gonna wake up, have lunch, and sleep some more!”

“You’re so lame.”

3D - Prom Night Part II: Epic - Aubrey gets to enjoy the fruits of labor, and everyone held her responsible for an epic prom. Aubrey thanked her sister for getting them out of the house so quickly. Of all the ready-made excuses she had prepared, that was one she hadn't thought of, and it was brilliant.

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bangtanbombimagines · 7 years

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Hola! Can I ask forma an angst with Namjoon? W/ a sad ending hehe thanks 💕💕

Title: I Guess We Changed (Namjoon x Reader)

READ THE PROLOGUE HERE

Genre: Fluff + Angst

Summary: You and Namjoon belong to a close-knit trio of underground musicians. Everything changes when Namjoon lands a major record deal.

Word count: 1.5k words

Namjoon let his head fall onto your shoulder, his eyelids drooping with exhaustion. You peered at the clock hanging on the wall of your “studio”–it was really just a shabby apartment you shared with two other musicians. It was just past three in the morning.

“Yoongi, our collab can wait a few more hours,” you groaned, sinking further into the tattered couch. “Let us sleep.”

“I have an early shift. Need to do this now,” Yoongi grunted, still smashing away at his keyboard. “Plus, inspiration is a fickle mistress.”

“Dude, our stage isn’t for another two weeks,” Namjoon argued tiredly. “Our set’s pretty much complete, anyway.”

“If you guys are tired, just go to bed,” Yoongi sighed, finally turning to look at you. “I’ll finish as much as I can now and we can work on it tomorrow.”

You and Namjoon leapt up at Yoongi’s dismissal, eager to go to bed. Namjoon practically sprinted out of the living room, disappearing into your bedroom with a loud crash. The sound of Namjoon’s muffled cursing carried throughout the flat.

Before you turned to follow Namjoon, you paused and looked at Yoongi. His eyes were ringed with purple and he had lost weight. Frowning, you walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Get some rest, okay?” you asked quietly, squeezing him gently. “You need to take care of yourself.”

“I will, Y/N,” Yoongi said with a small smile. “Go fucking spoon your boyfriend now, or whatever it is you two do.”

“We’re not dating!” you called over your shoulder as you walked away. That was the truth–sure, you were intimate, but Namjoon didn’t like to label things. And, well, you liked Namjoon.

In your room, Namjoon was already half asleep, nestled underneath a mountain of blankets. He roused at your entrance, his eyes opening slightly. You slipped into the bed with him, Namjoon’s arms wrapping around your waist instinctively.

“Night,” you whispered, leaning into Namjoon’s larger form. He radiated warmth, lulling you to sleep easily.

“Goodnight,” he replied, his voice gravelly, and kissed the back of your neck. His arms tightened around your body as you both slipped into a deep slumber.

The next morning, you slowly slipped from the covers of sleep. You were met by the sight of rays of golden sunlight streaming in through the open window, casting the room in a warm glow. Nearby, you could feel the constant heat of Namjoon’s body, although he was no longer laying beside you.

“Namjoon?” you called groggily, pushing yourself upright.

He was sitting at the foot of the bed, hunched over looking at his laptop. Namjoon’s eyes were wide, and his shoulders appeared to be shaking.

“Are you okay?” you whispered, crawling towards him. You hugged him from behind, resting your chin on his shoulder. “What’s up?”

“I got the record deal,” Namjoon said, his voice coloured with disbelief. “T-they emailed me this morning. They want me to go to Gangnam to discuss contract terms.”

“Holy shit,” you gasped. “Oh my god, Namjoon! That’s amazing!”

Namjoon turned to you, a huge smile finally illuminating his face. His cheeks dimpled endearingly. “I did it, Y/N,” he laughed. “I’m gonna make it.”

You laughed with Namjoon, wrapping your arms around his neck. He pushed you down so he was laying on top of you. With some difficulty, he kissed you, smiling too much for it to last long. Nuzzling into the crook of your neck, Namjoon sighed in contentment.

Tugging at the bottom of Namjoon’s shirt, you bent your head down to whisper into his ear. “I think this calls for celebration, no?”

Much later that morning, you found yourself curled against Namjoon’s chest. The heat between your bare bodies was both comforting and overwhelming. He traced patterns against your back, his fingers travelling across the ridges of your spine. You practically melted into his touch.

“I’m so proud of you, Joonie,” you mumbled into his skin. “The world’s finally ready for you.”

“You’re going to be right there with me,” he replied with conviction. “If I can make it, so can you.”

“Wouldn’t that be nice,” you giggled. A darker train of thought passed over you. You bit your lip nervously. “But if that doesn’t happen, don’t forget about me, okay?”

“Don’t talk like that,” Namjoon scolded gently. Then, he pressed a kiss against the top of your head. “But how could I ever forget about you?”

“About us, I mean,” you said, blushing slightly. “What’s going to happen with us?”

“We’re going to be just fine,” Namjoon replied. “Our situation might change, but that doesn’t mean we have to as well.”

Two weeks later, Namjoon was in Gangnam and you and Yoongi were still in the sketchier parts of Seoul. You had to rearrange your entire set, awkwardly trying to fill in the gaps Namjoon’s absence had left.

When you and Yoongi performed, you made a good duo. The audience responded enthusiastically to the harmony of Yoongi’s raspy, carnal rap and your sweet melodies. But you both felt wrong–something was missing. To date, it had been your worst performance.

That night, you and Yoongi took the bus home. How glamorous, you thought bitterly, replaying the video’s Namjoon had sent you of his new dorm. It was small, but still much nicer than the tiny, rundown apartment you used to share with him. Since Namjoon was no longer contributing rent money, you and Yoongi took on extra shifts at your part-time jobs.

But difficulties aside, you simply missed him. Your blankets still carried his rich scent, his belongings were still scattered throughout your room. His sweaters hung from chairs and his shoes still sat in the doorway. Sometimes, it seemed like he never really left.

Your cell phone vibrated. It was a text from Namjoon.

RECEIVED 4:18 AM

How’d the show go, babe?

SENT 4:19 AM

it was ok. it’s weird performing without u

RECEIVED 4:21 AM

Don’t get used to it! We’re gonna make it big as a trio

SENT 4:21 AM

of course joonie~ go get some sleep now ok?

RECEIVED 4:22 AM

I will. Talk to you tomorrow

You looked up from your phone, watching familiar scenery roll past the windows of the bus. Beside you, Yoongi had fallen asleep, his head being jostled with every bump in the road. When the bus finally reached your stop, you shook Yoongi gently. The two of you walked the rest of the way home in companionable silence.

Two months later, you and Yoongi were stuck in the same position–the one you had been in for years. You and Yoongi released more and more recordings online, which brought little to no recognition and even less income.

Still, you mailed out CD’s and emailed files relentlessly. It felt like you sent hundreds out a day. Sometimes you’d receive a response, only to be invited to auditions with kids who were still in elementary school. You’d scoff at that.

“We should just make our own fucking label,” Yoongi would say sometimes, bitterness seeping into his tone.

At this time, Namjoon hadn’t been in as frequent contact as before. He texted less and hardly ever called. But he was training hard, and he sounded exhausted whenever you did talk to him.

By now, the sheets had lost their scent. You and Yoongi quietly packed away the remainder of Namjoon’s belongings–the one’s he didn’t deem important enough to bring with him, but were the world to you. They sat in a box, pushed into a dark corner of the apartment.

Slowly, Namjoon began to fade out of your life. The first time you walked into your flat, not expecting to see Namjoon spread across the sofa or on the floor, you realized that he was truly gone.

Two years later, you and Yoongi were working as songwriters. You sold your demos to some substantial companies, making your revenue off royalties. It was enough to make a living, and you could quit your day jobs.

Also, Namjoon had finally debuted.

You found out when one of the accounts you followed on Twitter shared a news article about him. Since Namjoon had stopped talking to you, any information you received was secondhand.

His music was nothing like you were expecting. It sometimes sounded manufactured, and his lyrics were no longer dark, cynical, or meaningful. He called himself Rap Monster, but his music was still tailored for the masses. It sounded like hip hop, but it didn’t feel like it.

Namjoon got popular pretty quickly. Soon, you could hear his music on the radio and he appeared on TV. Every time Yoongi heard him, he would change stations.

“Sellout,” Yoongi would spit.

But when you were alone, you would listen to Namjoon’s music. The familiar deep drone of his voice and the rapid, piercing intonation of his rap–it was a quiet comfort and a painful reminder. You missed the rapper who would perform passionately beside you. You missed the boy who would kiss you goodnight and good morning. Most importantly, you missed Namjoon, who would make you laugh, think, love, and cry.

The brightest boy in your life had left you with nothing but unwanted belongings and unanswered “what ifs?”

- Girl in Luv

Writing angst physically hurts me. My heart…it’s dead. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! Our requests are open, so send us anything or reference our prompts page if you’d like. Thanks for the support!

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