#the fact kais missing a sleeve for some reason

[starwhipnspin]

i would like to take a moment to share this video i found a while ago cuz istg its been a hot minute since i laughed this hard at something

[shitpostsfromtheinvisiblelibrary]

‘Welcome to Corvid house,’ Vale said, stepping out of the doorway and ushering Irene and Kai inside. ‘You will have to forgive how dark it is, it has always been like this, a trick of the architecture I believe.’

It was gloomy inside, even if it wasn't for the trick of the architecture, as Vale called it, there were heavy curtains drawn across all of the windows, the floors were dark wood and the wallpaper was dark too.

‘Thank you for coming,’ He sighed and slumped his shoulders. ‘Plenty of things for me to be doing and yet nothing that can keep my attention for more than a moment or two.’

Irene set her small case down as the door was shut behind them. ‘What do you need our help with?’ She asked, looking around, not that there was much that she could see in the gloom. ‘Is something wrong?’

‘Or did you just miss our company?’ Kai’s smile was cheeky and toothy and he managed to draw something of a smile from Vale in return. ‘Wait. Really?’

‘I have been putting off my responsibilities here for too long and there is a lot of work that I need to be doing, however,’ He spoke with a pained slowness that made it obvious that he did not want to be confessing this. ‘Doing it without anyone as company when I do take a break is particularly unpleasant. I hope that I am not taking you both from anything important?’

‘You’re here alone?’ Kai said. ‘Your siblings and mother?’

‘Columbine has her work, I do not care to keep up with whatever Aquila is currently up to and my mother simply cannot stand to be in the same house as me for longer than an hour,’ He shrugged. ‘I don’t take it personally any more.’

‘Well,’ Irene said. ‘We will unpack and then we are going for a short walk, you look pale and definitely need some fresh air,’ His something of a smile was back, a little brighter this time. She stepped forward to kiss his cheek. ‘And you are going to have to show me the family Library, assuming that there is one?’

There was, in fact, Vale’s bedroom was the one closest to it.

‘We don’t all have to share,’ Vale said. ‘There is plenty of space for the three of us in here but you can have your own space.’

‘It is cosy,’ Kai said. ‘Perfect,’ He put pulled his jacket off and draped it over the edge of the bed. ‘Unless you would rather we take another room.’

‘No,’ He touched Irene’s arm as she pulled back heavy curtains to peer out and see what kind of view Vale had. Another reason for the dark, the curtains were made out of a thick heavy silk brocade, some ten years out of date in terms of interior decorating, smothering any sound of light that could make it inside.

‘I’ll show you the gardens,’ He said. ‘I don’t think anyone has bothered with the curtains for years, I don’t think choking on the dust would be a good way to spend the day.’

It was a surprisingly sunny day for early spring but it was still cold enough that they all wrapped themselves up again to step outside. There was a path leading down the centre of the garden lined with cherry blossom trees, the flowers wouldn't last long but the few weeks that they were there would fill the garden with the scent and turn the grass pink with shed petals.

He led them over a rough stone path. The house was on top of a hill and a decent way away from any actual city, town or village. By horse and carriage, it was a two-hour long, very uncomfortable ride from Leeds Aeroport.

They leant over a stone wall and looked out across the Yorkshire Dales, the wind whistled around them and rustled through the trees and grass. Kai turned away, sneezing several times as they breathed in the smell of flowers and grass, proving too much for his sensitive nose.

Vale had to be up early the next day, taking a pot of strong coffee and a plate of toast, at Kai’s insistence, into the study and locking the door. Irene and Kai shared a look before rolling their sleeves up and pinning back their hair.

‘The curtains?’ She asked as Kai started to look through the storerooms just off the kitchen.

‘There should have been servants stopping it from ever getting to this state,’ He muttered.

‘You know Vale,’ Irene said. ‘He probably forgot that he would have to come back here, or assumed he could just keep putting the work off.’

‘Either way. He has been here for two weeks, breathing in all of that dust, it can’t be good for him. Now, can you tackle the Library without getting distracted or do you want to take on the bedroom?’

Irene almost pouted. ‘The bedroom,’ She said finally. They’d left her to her own devices in the library the night before, Kai and Vale retreating for a game of cards, splitting most of a bottle of brandy that Vale had retrieved from a dusty wine cellar, bringing Irene up a glass to sip on as she perused the books.

She had found many books that she was itching to get back to and was never one for resisting temptation.

‘You are going to want to wrap a handkerchief around your mouth,’ Irene said, pulling out her own handkerchief. ‘So you don’t choke. Should we be doing this with your allergies?’

‘It isn't like we can go and hire a couple of people to deal with it for us,’ Kai shrugged. ‘I will be fine.

By the time it was noon (Irene was unhappy that Kai had suggested that they all get up and have breakfast together) Irene was aching and covered in more dust than she thought could have been held in curtains. She was pulling fluff clumps of dust out of her hair and flicking it away as Vale came in, blotting ink off his cuff.

‘What… are you doing?’ He asked, stopping in the doorway.

‘Cleaning,’ Irene said, she had succeeded in beating the dust off both of the curtains and pulling them open to bring bright sunlight into the room. ‘When was the last time you had someone in here?’

‘I don’t think I have ever arranged for someone to clean.’

‘Your mother?’ He shrugged.

‘I believe she just arranged for her own space to be cleaned as well as the areas that she uses, the dining room, sitting room and drawing room seem fine, and I haven't checked her bedroom’ He brushed some dust off her hair and smoothed some errant strands behind her ear.

‘You didn’t have to do this,’ She pulled the handkerchief around her mouth down to her neck.

‘Kai has pointed out that breathing in all of the dust is bad for your health,’ She said. ‘He’s been working on the library, we are doing the study next, whether you like it or not.’

‘Why?’ He spread his hands and Irene could see that he’d probably spilt the ink bottle onto his hand.

‘Because,’ Kai said, Irene hadn’t heard him approach but Vale clearly had as he hadn't jumped, merely turned to regard him and step into the room and out of the way of the door. ‘We want to do something to help you.’

‘Kai wanted to help you, I wanted to read,’ Irene said. ‘Luckily, he is very persuasive,’ Kai put a hand on Vale’s back and brushed a kiss to his temple.

‘We couldn’t leave you to deal with it for however long you are stuck out here,’ Kai said. ‘Besides, we spend a day or two cleaning what we can and then the rest of our time here distracting you from your work with various elaborate methods.’

‘You will both be found with your noses in books and no knowledge of what year it is.’

‘That too,’ Kai smiled. ‘Are you taking a break?’

‘I just needed to change my shirt,’ Vale said, raising his hand so that Kai could see the damage. ‘I have had a casualty during budgeting. I should have asked Columbine to look at it, she is much better with that kind of stuff than I am. It is boring.’

He stripped off his jacket and shirt, Irene and Kai sitting on the edge of the bed, or at least, Irene was sitting, Kai flopped backwards with a sigh. He stretched out and yawned.

‘The country air really just takes it out of you,’ He said. Irene reached down and began playing with his hair, idly curling strands of pure ebony around her fingers before pulling them free and winding them back in again. Kai’s eyes half shut and the corners of his lips curled into a smile.

He very nearly started purring as he tilted his head back to press his head into Irene’s hand like a particularly needy cat, not that he would say that connection out loud, but Vale probably would have done.

‘It is a lot easier on you than the London air,’ Vale admitted as he tossed his shirt into the laundry hamper and started to pull on a new one. Both Irene and Kai turned to watch him, rewarded with a brief glimpse of taut muscle seamed with scar tissue much in the same way that they were.

Irene pushed herself off the bed and took Vale’s wrist in hand to do his cufflinks for him, stroking her fingers across his skin before doing them up.

It wasn't common that Vale’s smiles were pure, genuine happiness, but when it did happen, Irene swore it was one of the best things that she had seen.

‘Thank you for coming here,’ He said, not meeting her eyes. ‘I needed the company,’ Irene touched his cheek, like Kai, he tilted his head to press into her touch. ‘Love…’ His voice was low and soft.

He was so tired.

‘You should get some rest,’ Irene said. ‘If Kai is tired as well, I’ll go and make some lunch for us all.’

‘I’m fine.’

‘You are a terrible liar,’ She dropped her hand. ‘Just a quick rest, for me.’

‘Emotional manipulation? Really, Winters?’ She pushed him towards the bed.

‘Really.’

Irene's hands were black with soot as she cleaned out the grate in the sitting room, it looked like it hadn't been cleaned out after it was last used. She cleaned off her hands as best as she could on a rag that was streaked with ash.

The good weather had taken a turn and Vale was certain that the thick grey clouds were going to bring heavy rain and a few days of it at least. Kai was happy with that news and was currently out in the gardens, breathing in the smell of petrichor.

She and Vale were less than keen on the heavy weather as it would keep them inside.

She added newspaper to the bottom of the fireplace, there was a stack of it already put to one side for this use, before going outside to collect wood from the small shed at the side of the building, making several trips to retrieve enough so that if the weather was nastier than anticipated, no one would be having to run out and hope that the wood doesn’t get too wet.

She didn’t light the fire, she just lay it ready for later on when they would want the warmth.

The front door opened and, wiping her hands on her dress, Irene peered around the kitchen door and into the dark hallway, expecting to see Kai shaking the rain out of his hair and kicking off muddy boots but was instead met with the sight of a woman a few inches shorter than her with steel grey hair and a thick fur coat of some years old.

The woman’s eyes were sharp and cold though she supposed that they could be the same hazel as Vale’s if perhaps they contained any warmth, there was no doubting who this woman was.

‘What are you doing in my home?’ She demanded in a voice cold as those eyes, sharp and with obvious disdain as Irene somewhat reluctantly stepped into full view.

‘I am here upon the invitation of your son,’ Irene said. ‘Assuming that you are who I think you are Lady Vale?’ Vale had never given a first name for his mother, nor much in the way of description. They had never asked.

‘A likely story,’ She sniffed. ‘And where is my son?’

‘He is working, ma’am,’ Irene said. ‘Would you like a cup of tea?’ She wasn't sure if Vale would be very happy about her inviting his mother into the house but she didn’t want her storming off and interrupting Vale.

She sniffed and after a long and hard look at Irene, she headed upstairs.

‘Really, ma’am, he doesn’t want to be distracted,’ Irene said, following her up. ‘He’ll be wanting a break soon anyway, I’m sure we won't have to wait for long,’ Lady Vale continued to ignore Irene and threw the study door open before Irene could stop her.

Vale shot up out of his deckchair, an uncomfortable thing of brown leather and dark wood.

‘Mother what are you-’ He swallowed. ‘How may I help you today?’

‘You’ve taken to keeping your mistress here?’ She gestured to Irene. ‘Well, I suppose that I should be proud that you finally found a woman who wants to stay around.’

‘Excuse me?’ Irene snapped.

‘Mother, if you are not going to be polite to my friend then I think that you should leave,’ Irene wasn't sure which hurt more, being assumed to be a mistress, or being just Vale’s friend. She knew why he said that, their relationship would be heavily scrutinised if people knew. But still.

‘Well, you have a woman kept in the house with just the two of you,’ She sneered at Irene. ‘What should I expect?’

‘She is visiting me with her husband,’ Vale said. ‘I believe he has stepped out for a walk, Mrs Strongrock?’

‘He left about half an hour ago,’ Irene said. ‘He shouldn’t be much longer.’

He turned back to his mother. ‘I advise you to keep a civil tongue about my guests in my house, especially if you want to keep access to it.’

‘Well,’ She sniffed. ‘I see I failed to raise you with proper respect for your own family.’

‘I do respect my family,’ Vale said. ‘My family, the ones that I chose. Now, if you will excuse me, I have some work to be getting on with. Stay away from my friends whilst you are here. And shut the door on your way out.’

She slammed the door, making both Irene and Vale wince.

‘Are you alright?’

‘Shouldn't I be asking you that?’ Irene perched on the edge of the desk and took his hands in hers, squeezing lightly. ‘I did try to get her to stay downstairs.’

‘I didn’t think she would come here knowing that I was-’ He smiled and smeared away ash from her cheek.

‘She probably assumed that I was the help,’ Irene said. ‘I think I would rather that than a mistress.’

‘I am sorry about that,’ He sighed. ‘And saying that you were just a friend, you are much more than that. So much more.’

‘I know,’ Irene said. ‘She can’t know what is really going on, if she would even understand it, I’ll try and move mine and Kai’s things into one of the other bedrooms.’

‘Hopefully, she will go away soon,’ He said. ‘When she figures out that she isn't going to get the results that she wants.’

‘I will go and find Kai and let him know that we are married now,’ Irene smiled. ‘Not how I saw myself getting married but here we are,’ He shook his head before kissing her on the temple and pushing her off the edge of the desk.

Vale lay in bed staring up at the ceiling unable to sleep. The bed was too big and empty, he hadn't enjoyed sleeping without Irene and Kai before they had arrived. It was torture knowing that they were probably sleeping easily in the next room.

The work wasn’t taking as long as he thought it would, it was fairly easy once he managed to focus on it, the focussing was the hardest part and took the longest. It didn’t take much energy to get through and now he was still wide awake.

He couldn’t even go out and get some fresh air as the rain had well and truly started and he wasn't stupid enough to try and withstand the squall that had started whilst Kai had cooked them dinner.

He was left to either lay in bed or get up and wander the house and with his mother around, option one was the far more preferable option. The rain outside lashed against the windows, shaking the glass in their wooden frames and loudly rattling them.

Kai found it a comfort and when they were together, the nasty parts, the soaking wet clothes, the chill, etc., were all well worth it just to see how happy it made him when soaked through. He’d watched Kai run out into a storm before dragging him out into it as well, they had shared a kiss hidden amongst the heavy branches of an oak tree that sheltered them from prying eyes but let enough rain through the leaves to still shower down on them.

With Irene, the rain was perfect for working inside in quiet companionship, side by side with their own things, fleeting touches and the brush of her hand on his as they reached for the same piece of paper, shared cups of tea as they watched rain run down the windows, comfortable and warm inside, the sounds of the rain warring with that of the roaring fire.

He got out of bed and put on slippers and wrapped his red dressing robe around himself, he wasn't going to be getting any sleep and there was no point in laying there trying to sleep when he had work he could be getting on with instead.

He could smell dust left from Irene and Kai’s cleaning as he let himself into the study, they had kicked him out whilst they had tackled it together to cut down on how long it would take, emerging two hours later, both tired and covered in dust and the study curtains wide open to reveal the garden.

If the work was interesting maybe he would find it easier to concentrate, as it was highly dull, he sat there staring at it for a few minutes before sighing and finally putting pen to paper.

His eyes were burning as the sky began to paint the sky pink, the storm clouds blown away by the wind, for now. Kai knocked and let himself in, he locked the door behind himself before giving Vale a cup of coffee.

‘Have you been up all night?’ He asked.

‘I slept,’ Vale said. ‘Thank you,’ He reached for the coffee but Kai slid it out of reach.

‘Don’t lie to me,’ Kai said. ‘How long did you sleep for?’

‘I didn’t count the hours.’

‘Peregrine,’ Vale winced.

‘I think it was more than an hour?’ Kai slid the coffee back towards him. ‘Was that necessary?’

‘Apparently, yes,’ He said. ‘What can I do to help?’

‘If you are thinking of killing my mother, don’t.’

‘I wasn't planning on it,’ Kai smiled. ‘Irene on the other hand… I will let her know not to,’ Vale didn’t wait for his coffee to grow cold when he started to drink it. ‘I will bring up something for you to eat as well, Irene is in the library and we haven't actually seen your mother this morning, she could have left early.’

Vale shook his head. ‘No, she came here for a reason and she wouldn't have come just to mildly irritate me, she probably wants something.’

‘What?’

‘I know a good many things and what I do not know I know how to find out, except for one thing. The way that woman’s mind works,’ Kai chuckled. ‘Women have always been hard for me to understand and she is the hardest.’

‘We will try to keep her away from you.’

‘Leave her to do as she please,’ Vale said. ‘I can tolerate her behaviour, I don’t want to risk her saying something to either of you two that could cause offence.’

Vale locked the door to the sitting room that Irene and Kai occupied, a tray of tea and cake between them, as well as a stack of books that they were making quick work of. He leant against it heavily.

He was entirely silent as they marked their places in their respective books, he crossed the room, shaking off his jacket and discarding it onto the back of one of the armchairs before collapsing into the space between them.

It was with an unspoken agreement that Irene drew the curtains and Kai folded a blanket around Vale before holding him close.

Days without something to test his brain were always hard. His mind wanted to wander and it was easier to let it go, even if it brought back hard to deal with thoughts and urges.

There were few benefits for living in the middle of nowhere, no one to purchase morphine off for starters.

Irene sat down again before neatly draping herself comfortably over Vale’s lap, resting her head on his thigh, a comforting weight, familiar and much needed. His hand found a place in her hair automatically.

Kai’s arm was around his shoulder and Vale rested his cheek on him.

‘Get some sleep,’ Kai murmured. ‘It’s okay.’

His mother had never tried to understand the way that he was nor had she ever accepted the fact that his inclinations did not match up with what most people expected of him. There was no desire to produce an heir nor find a wife, he had never found the interest in taking a mistress or many.

She had interrupted his work several times already reminding him that he had indeed yet to take a wife and that locking himself away in the countryside with another man’s wife, regardless of whether or not her husband was there, was improper behaviour and people would make their own assumptions.

He had ignored it all of course, it wasn't like he hadn't heard it all before, he had been hearing it all from the age that he became aware that girls were indeed a thing that he was supposed to take interest in.

It hadn't mattered to him then, why would it? There were more interesting things to see and do than find someone to settle down with, he’d first thought that maybe he would find an interest after university, and then after a few years of his work, and then it was just a matter of meeting the right woman.

But there was no right time, no right woman.

And he was entirely happy with that.

His mother had other ideas though and had suggested a long list of eligible women. He had started distancing himself from everyone but his sister long before graduating. He found comfort in the letter his mother had sent him, the last letter in fact.

She was giving up on him.

He felt Kai’s lips touch his temple.

He didn’t need anyone’s approval.

He had what he wanted.

What he needed.

Who he needed.

He woke up stiff from sleeping sat up, but Kai was still holding him and Irene was still laying over his legs, they were talking in low voices. The room was dark when he slowly opened his eyes, the fire was the only light and the warm glow turned Irene golden, Kai too as he turned his head to him.

‘Sleep well?’ Kai smiled. Vale yawned.

‘Better than I did last night,’ He nodded. ‘Thank you,’ Irene sat up with some reluctance so that he could get up and stretch, his back clicking in a few places.

‘Dinner?’ Kai suggested. ‘I’ll cook.’

Lady Vale cleared her throat and Irene and Kai turned to her before they could stop themselves, Vale ignored her and continued to eat. She coughed again.

‘I have some cough syrup in with my luggage if you need some,’ He said, he still did not look at her as he reached for his wine glass. ‘Though perhaps a glass of whiskey will do the trick, you obviously know where to find that.’

‘I honestly thought I had raised you to have more respect for your own mother,’ She sighed dramatically. ‘But apparently, I have failed, I, instead, am ignored whilst you wine and dine another man’s wife in front of him.’

Irene put her fork down.

‘Don’t,’ Vale said but she ignored him as she turned to Lady Vale.

‘Madam, you may make one of two assumptions, that your son has decided to pursue a relationship with another man’s wife, or that he has no issue with being pursued by a married woman. Which would you rather?’ Irene smiled brightly as she got out of her seat and stood in front of Lady Vale.

‘I don’t mind what you think of me,’ She continued. ‘I have never really bothered myself with the opinions of those who judge without any true knowledge in their heads.’

‘Irene,’ Vale almost whined.

‘No,’ He brushed her off. ‘I have had the honour of meeting two of your children and honestly, they must have got their intelligence from your husband because you certainly seem to be vane and entirely obsessed with what other people may be saying about you.’

‘Regardless of how little you think of me, it means that you would have utterly failed in raising your son and I think that says far more about me.’

‘Are you done?’ She asked.

‘I was thinking about hitting you, I will be honest,’ Irene raised her hand and turned it over. ‘But I wouldn't want to ruin these gloves,’ Despite Irene saying that she wouldn't hit Lady Vale, the elder woman still flinched like Irene had struck her. ‘Now I am done,’ She sat down and picked up her wine glasses, staining her lips blood red with it.

‘I forgot how mean you can be,’ Kai smiled. ‘It is always pleasant to watch.’

‘She’s left,’ Vale let himself into Irene and Kai’s bedroom without knocking, it wasn't like he hadn't walked in on them enough times for any of them to actually care enough about it. ‘I know we are only here for a few more days, and it is going to rain again tonight but…’

‘How much work do you have left?’ Kai asked.

‘I’ll probably be finished by noon tomorrow. If we want to return to London sooner, we can do that.’

‘We can stay, a holiday of sorts,’ Irene said.

‘You have a reading list to get through, don’t you?’

[kpop---scenarios]

Torn Apart (2 Final)

Pairing: Surprise! x Reader

Warning: Smut, Sadness, Angst Maybe? Mean People

Word Count: 5.4k

It had been weeks. 

Weeks of sobbing into your pillow, weeks of feeling like things were going to get better, until you found the most insignificant thing that belonged to Chanyeol and you broke down all over again. You missed him. You missed his touch, his warmth, his smile, the way he made you laugh when you were sad. You missed it all. You were broken, and it was all Chanyeol's fault. 

Until you scrolled through Instagram, and saw pictures of him with Maya, that bitch. You had never hated anyone in your life until you had met her. You couldn't even begin to fathom what even slightly redeeming qualities Chanyeol saw in her, but apparently there was something to that wench.

You were curled on your couch in the fetal position as you cried at the ending of Strong Girl Bong Soon. You wished you had a love like that. The way An Minhyuk loved Bong Soon was the relationship you wanted, the one you would strive for. He loved her so much and you just wanted to be loved by someone like that. 

You groan loudly as your doorbell rings, and then whoever pounds on your door. You didn't want visitors, you didn't care who it was, you wanted to hermit. 

"What?" You yelled from the other side of the door. 

"Y/N, let me in." You hear from the other side. You recognized the voice immediately. 

"Baekhyun, I look like a troll. Kindly leave." You sigh. 

"Y/N, if your trolly ass doesn't let me in, I will break down your door." He threatens, which makes you laugh for the first time in days. You both knew he would never be able to do that, and he would likely end up hurting himself. 

"Baek, you would break your leg." You say, pulling the door open. On the other side was a sympathetic Baekhyun, who had tissues, ice cream, chocolate and a bag full of movies. You smile at his kindness. "You know I have Netflix right?" 

"Shut the fuck up and move, this shit is cold." He barks, moving past you and into your kitchen. "Look, I have all the necessities. We will get you through this. Because I for one, cannot stand the sight of Mayeol and I want to gouge my eyes out, and I need someone to do it with." 

"I don't understand how that has anything to do with me." You say, grabbing two spoons.

"Sehun is gone, he's so in love with those two, hes bordering being a psychopath, Jongdae and his wife are just tolerating, Suho, Kai and Kyungsoo are avoiding them like the plague and Minseok and Lay have been MIA, so you're my last hope, Y/N." 

"I really don't want to talk about him, Baek." You admit, the hole in your heart somehow feels larger than before. 

"That's fine, I'll stop, let's start a movie." He suggests, grabbing a random one out of his bag. 

And for the next few hours, that's all you guys did. You watched movies, making comments, laughing and you genuinely had a good time with him. It had been so long since you actually felt happy and you were grateful to Baekhyun for bringing at least a little joy back into your life. 

Until he left, and you were alone again. All the feelings came rushing back, except they hurt a little less this time. You didn't miss him quite as much. 

** 

The next day, at the same time, your doorbell rang again. You open the door, your eyes puffy and bloodshot and you see Baekhyun standing there again, a new flavor of ice cream in hand, a new kind of chocolate, and a new bag of movies. This time he said nothing to you, instead pushed his way past you and through the door, setting everything down on your living room table as he popped in the movie. You smiled to yourself before turning around to join him, it felt nice to be cared about, and the fact that he was going out of his way to do this for you, and make you feel better. You truly appreciated Baekhyun. 

As he sat there and watched the movie, you watched him. The way his eyes lit up at a part of the movie he enjoyed, the face he made when he took a bite of his ice cream, the wrinkle he had in his nose when there was a cheesy scene. You never truly noticed how handsome Baekhyun was until now. His distinct jawline, his large hands, his toned body, you briefly.. very briefly began to wonder how large his..

"No Y/N, no. Do not go there with your existing bestfriend." 

You quickly shake off the thought, moving your eyes to the TV screen, trying to focus. 

"How are you feeling today?" Baekhyun asks, sliding his phone back into his pants pocket. 

"A bit better, I guess." You answer. Before Baekhyun could say anything there was another knock at the door. "That's good." He smiles, standing up. "There are some people who wanna see you." He says, opening the door. 

Minseok, Suho and Kyungsoo file through the door, looking at you with pity as they all sit, surrounding you.  

"Hiiiii." Suho pouts, protruding his bottom lip. "How are we feeling today?" 

"Um, hi." You laugh. "I'm fine." 

"Oh good, so we can go." Kyungsoo pipes up, standing up and walking towards the door. 

"Sit." Minseok sighs, pointing back at the seat. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, shuffling back to his spot and flopping down. 

"She's fine, Chanyeol is fine, so why are we here? Everyone is fine." He groans. 

"Have you seen him? Is he fine?" You hesitantly ask. You weren't even sure if you wanted to know. 

"Oh he's more than fine." Kyungsoo groans. "He and Maya are all over each other all the time. It's honestly nauseating. Like I want to be able to eat my sandwich without hearing your girlfriend moan when you kiss her." He gags. 

You bite your bottom lip as you slowly nod your head, tears welling in your eyes. These were most definitely details you did not need to hear about your ex and the girl he cheated on you with. All the men whip their heads to look at you, who now had your head hanging low as your shoulders shaked. They all look back at Kyungsoo, with only one speaking up.  

"That's it." Baekhyun growls. "Kyungsoo, get out." He spits, pointing to the door. 

"What did I do?" Kyungsoo asks, innocently. Baekhyun rolls his eyes, looking at you, softly whimpering into the sleeves of your sweater. 

"Out. Now." Baekhyun says, giving him the middle finger before flinching as Kyungsoo stands up, whispering "Don't hurt me."

"Don't listen to him." Minseok sighs. "Kyungsoo has zero social cues, he also could not read a room if his life depended on it." 

As Kyungsoo opened the door to leave, in rushed Lay, who looked at the man leaving and just nodded his head, realizing he had probably said something rude and was asked to leave. It wasn't the first time and would not be the last either. 

"Y/N." Lay breathes. "How do you feel about tall, muscular men who sing?" He asks. 

"I do enjoy them. Why?" You ask. 

"I have a friend from the hospital.. I think you two would get along really well. He's in his third year of surgery residency and is looking to date. I may have shown him your picture and he instantly said yes." He tells you. 

You look around the room, Suho and Minseok are nodding enthusiastically, while Baekhyun sits with his arms crossed against his chest, and a pouty look on his face. 

"What do you think?" You ask Baekhyun. He looks up at you, his face softening immediately. 

"I uhh, it's up to you. Yanno, if you're into muscular, tall men.." he mumbles.

"You know what? Sure, yes, I will. Chanyeol and Maya are out there living their best lives while I'm sitting here sulking, mourning a love that clearly didn't mean as much to him. So yes I will go out with him." You announce, perking up already. "When?" 

"Tonight." Lay says. "More specifically, an hour." 

"I need to get ready." You smile, jumping from your seat to rush to your room. You slowly peak your head around the corner, softly smiling at your friends. "Thank you, you guys. You've all really helped me these last weeks. I greatly appreciate you all." You finish, heading back into your room to quickly throw yourself together. 

By the time you were done, you had 15 minutes to spare, and you were damn proud of what you accomplished in the last 45 minutes. You showered and shaved to become a hairless human from the eyelashes down, you managed to get the knots out of your hair and it looked in decent shape, as well as hide the semi-permanent redness of your eyes with a lot of makeup. You almost didn't recognize yourself in the mirror when you looked. You didn't see the heartbroken girl anymore, you saw someone confident, hot and worthy of a great love. 

Stepping out into the living room you blush at all the 'oohs and ahhs' from your friends. 

Except for Baekhyun. 

When you looked at him, his eyes shined and for some reason it made your heartbeat a little faster. You watched his eyes trail up and down your body, seemingly taking in every curve, every inch of you. When he notices you staring, he clears his throat and looks away. "You look prettyish." He mumbles as he walks away, there's a knock at the door. Baekhyun is the one to answer and looks up at the tall man. 

"You must be.." he begins, moving out of the way, letting the man walk in. 

"Hi." He smiles at you. "I'm Matthew." He says, holding out his hand. 

"Hi Matthew." You grin. "Y/N." You finish, introducing yourself. 

"It's really nice to meet you. You look phenomenal." He says, holding your hand up to spin you around. You can't help but let out a loud laugh as a blush spreads across your cheeks. 

"Thank you." You whisper. "Shall we?" 

He waves to Lay and everyone else before taking your arm in his and leading you out the door. You left three excited men behind you and one who felt annoyed but didn't quite know why. 

** 

You hadn't laughed so hard until tears rolled down your cheeks and you held your stomach for a very long time. You honestly were surprised at how much you and Matthew had in common. You both enjoyed the same type of music, food, and pastimes. You had yet to meet someone who loved the same authors as you, who enjoyed doing your favorite activities and who genuinely seemed like a great person but here he was, sitting right in front of you at this nice restaurant. 

"I have to admit something." Matthew begins. Your stomach drops as you feel like he's going to tell you he's married or has a girlfriend, something that's going to make you lose trust in men, again. 

"Go on." You say, forcing a smile before taking a sip of your drink. 

"I really like you." He grins. "It's insane, I have never met someone I had so much in common with until tonight." 

"I was just thinking the same thing." You laugh, feeling relieved at his confession. You liked Matthew, he seemed as though he would be good for you and treat you right, although you thought that Chanyeol would do the same and look how that turned out. 

Beep 

Beep 

Beep 

Matthew's pager beeps incessantly. He takes it from the waistband of his pants, checking the page and stands up abruptly. "I'm so sorry." He sighs. "I have to go, there was an accident and I'm needed in the OR." He explains. 

"Go." You say, waving your hands to emphasize. 

"I had a wonderful time Y/N, and I hope I get to see you again." He grins. He places down a few hundred bills on the table before kissing your hand, and with a wink he was off and your heart was pumping fast as red spreads across your cheeks. 

Oh boy. 

Your blush is still present as you walk through the door of your apartment. You see Baekhyun sitting on your couch with his arms crossed as he watches a show, not even acknowledging your presence. 

"Why are you still here?" You ask, tossing your purse on the chair. 

"I wanna hear all about Matthew." He mimics, rolling his eyes. "How was your date?" 

"It was really nice. We have a lot in common, which is strange. He seems really nice and we get along amazingly. He was paged into surgery so it ended early." You tell him. "So cool." 

"Oh wow, surgery huh?" Baekhyun says, nodding his head. "Did I tell you I'm auditioning for a band?" He smiles. 

"Are you really?" You ask, a little shocked. 

"Maybe." He says, clearing his throat, turning back to the show. 

You sit beside him, you dress riding up just a little to expose your thigh. You're focused on the show, barely realizing that Baekhyun has now rested his hand on your bare thigh, his thumb lightly rubbing the same spot. 

Why did you feel butterflies? Why was your pussy throbbing? It's probably just friendly, there's no way Baekhyun has feelings for you. 

Right?

As the show played on, your eyes became increasingly droopy, feeling the exhaustion and excitement of today finally catching up with you. Your eyes slowly close as you lean your head back onto the couch. 

You weren't sure when it happened, but you woke up, what you're assuming is a few hours later with your head on Baekhyun's lap while he gently rubbed your head, running his fingers through your hair. Your body shivered at the gentle sensation and you closed your eyes once again, feeling safe and happy as you dozed off. 

** 

When you woke up the next morning, you were laying on the couch, alone with a blanket draped over you. Your eyes searched your apartment and there was no sign of Baekhyun.  You had no idea when he had left but a part of you felt a little hurt that he left without saying goodbye to you. You rolled yourself off the couch and shuffled into your room, changing your clothes to something more comfortable. 

When you were done you made your way to the kitchen to find food when your front door opened. In walked Baekhyun with a large bag from your favorite food place. 

"You didn't." You grin. "It's so far away." 

"I did, and it was worth it to see the look on your face." He laughs, setting the bag down on the table. 

The two of you sit down, and have breakfast together and chat. You hadn't realized that Baekhyun actually had a lot in common with you as well. You didn't know why the two of you had never talked about these things but you felt like it was a crazy coincidence that two men match with you so well. Although you knew Baekhyun's feelings were strictly platonic, there was no way that he felt anything romantically for you. 

"I gotta go to work, but we'll hang out later, if you're up for it?" He asks, throwing his garbage away. 

"Of course." You smile. You look in his eyes, his beautiful brown eyes and you just want to melt. You liked Baekhyun, alot. Maybe it was just from how good he's been treating you lately, or maybe the feelings were real, you would never know because you were going to focus on changing your feelings for Baekhyun to feelings for Matthew, someone you knew you actually had a chance with. 

** 

Later that day you were doing some work on your computer for the company you work for, luckily you're able to do your work from home, giving you plenty of time to be free during the day for activities. You're brought out of your zone by a text from Matthew, asking you if you wanted to grab a late lunch around 2pm, and immediately your mood changed, and you happily replied that you would love to. 

At 1:50pm, you sat at the restaurant, a drink in front of you while you waited for Matthew. Seeing him walk through the door, your heart did a mini dance as he smiled at you, heading towards the table you had already gotten. 

"Hey there beautiful." He grins, sitting across from you. 

"Hi." You giggle. "How has your day been?" 

"Busy and stressful, but that's all been forgotten now that I have you in front of me." He says. You smile widely, burying your head in your hands. He was so sweet, and you didn't know how to react to it. After the two of you order, you're in the middle of a conversation about a movie you had each recently watched, when out of the corner of your eye, you notice someone familiar. You look over and at a table that was too close for your liking sat Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Maya. Your attitude, demeanour and mood completely changed when you noticed them. You could feel the tears welling in your eyes as you looked away. You look at Matthew who instantly looks concerned. 

"What's wrong? Did I say something?" He asks, leaning in closely to whisper to you. 

"T-that's my ex.. and the girl he chose over me, and his best friend who I'm still friends with." You whisper, nodding your head towards them.

Matthew discreetly looks over and notices the blonde man looking in your direction, pain in his eyes from the moment he saw you. 

"Look at me." Matthew whispers. You look up at him, trying to control the tears. "That boy is an idiot for giving you up. You are one in a million. You're smart, funny, beautiful, caring and an all around amazing person to be around. Don't give them anymore of your tears, princess. They don't deserve them, and you don't deserve to cry over them." He smiles. 

You sit up, taking a deep breath, smiling at the man across from you, staring at his beautiful smile. You glance over to the table and see Chanyeol staring at you, sadness in his eyes while Maya glares at you and Baekhyun, he stares at you with what seems like a look of anger. He glares in your direction, his face like stone and you had no idea what you did to make him so mad at you. 

"Would you like to go somewhere else?" Matthew asks. 

You nod your head, knowing you didn't want to be in the same restaurant as Mayeol, it was bad enough to have to be in the same city as them. Matthew grabs the check, escorting you out, his hand hovering over your backside as you walk out, the feeling of eyes watching you burning into your back as you exit the restaurant.  You and Matthew stand outside your door, and he smiles at you. "I'm sorry about the date." He sighs. 

"It wasn't your fault. If anything I should be sorry." You say. 

"You did nothing wrong." He tells you. "I have to get back to the hospital now, but I'll call you." He says, leaning down he presses his lips to yours quickly before pulling away and saying goodbye. 

You walk into your apartment, feeling a little confused. That didn't go how you imagined it at all. As you're trying to get out of your sundress, there's a knock at the door before someone walks in. You turn around and see Baekhyun standing there, watching you. 

"You looked pretty comfortable and intimate with what's his name." He blurts out, walking towards you. He stands closely behind you, you can feel his breath on your neck as he pulls down the zipper of your dress. 

"Yeah well you looked pretty comfortable with fucking Maya and Chanyeol." You retort, trying to storm away from him. Your dress slips off your body, landing on the floor. Baekhyun follows you, reaching out to grab your wrist. He spins you around to face him. He pulls your body closer to his. 

"What do you want?" He asks. You don't answer, your lips parted as you try to form a sentence. Baekhyun's eyes drop down to your lips. He licks his lips and sighs. You can feel his breath, so close to you, almost kissing you. "What do you want from me, Y/N?" He asks. 

Your heart is practically beating out of your chest. You look into his eyes, one word on the tip of your tongue. 

You. Just say it. You want him. Tell him. 

But you say nothing. 

Baekhyun sighs. "That's what I thought." He says,  moving away from you and picking up your dress from the floor. He hands it to you, leaning in to press his lips against your temple. "Call me when you know what you want." He says, walking away from you and out the door. 

What did that mean? Did he want you like you wanted him? Why couldn't you have just told him right then and there? 

You were scared. You were scared of rejection, you were scared he didn't mean it, maybe his feelings towards you weren't real. But then again, you would never know unless you talked to him. 

Later that night you laid in your bed, thinking about Baekhyun. You couldn't sleep, so you grabbed your purse and your keys, drive aimlessly around town. A little while later, you glance at the clock that reads 2am, you park your car and you pull out your phone and call him. You felt like you were going to vomit as the phone rang. 

"Hello?" A groggy voice answered. 

"You." You whisper through the speaker. "I want you."  

"Y/N." He breathes. 

"Open the door, Baekhyun." You whisper. 

You can hear him get out of bed and stomp towards the front door. He pulls it open and there you are, your phone pressed against your ear, wearing a nightshirt and shorts. 

"I want you." You say again, pulling the phone away from your ear. 

Baekhyun pulls you inside, slamming the door behind you before pinning you against the front door. 

"Fuck it." He groans, crashing his lips against yours, pulling your body in closer to his. His hands roaming your body as he slides his tongue into your mouth. His hands move under your shirt and up your torso, cupping a bare breast. He groans into the kiss as he pinches your hard nipple, rolling it between his fingers. He presses his crotch into your leg, allowing you to feel his hard cock pushing against his boxers. 

You reach your hand down, sliding it into his waistband, grabbing his cock and slowly pumping, making his knees buckle. 

"Fuck." He murmurs, breaking the kiss. He leans his head into your neck, placing small kisses as you stroke his cock. 

Suddenly he stands up straight, pulling your hand from inside his boxers. He grabs your hand and leads you to his bedroom. 

"Take off your clothes." He growls. 

You maintain eye contact as you slip your shirt off your body, dropping it to the floor and the shimmy off your shorts, letting them pool around your ankles. You stand there naked in front of Baekhyun who takes in every curve and crevasse of your body. 

"Get on the bed." He whispers. You move to the bed, slowly climbing on and laying on your back. 

"So fucking beautiful." He moans, crawling on top of you. "I just wanna be inside you." He whispers. You nod your head, giving him all the consent he needs. 

Baekhyun spits on his hand, pumping his cock. He lifts your legs over his shoulder before lining him up with your entrance. He pushes himself into you, stretching your pussy out, making you cry out loudly. 

It had been so long for you, you forgot what it felt like to be fucked. Your hands grip the bed sheets as Baekhyun slides his cock in and out of you slowly. 

"How do you want it, baby?" He asks, moving slowly still. 

"Faster." You moan. "Fuck me Baekhyun." 

His eyes become dark after hearing your words. His hands wrap around your ankles as he starts thrusting harder into you, the sound of skin slapping fills the room.

"Oh god." You cry out, your hands cupping your breasts, pinching your nipples as he pumps his cock into you. 

Baekhyun releases one of your legs, placing his thumb between your lips to rub your clit. He rubs in circles, making you clench around him. 

"Just like that." You cry out as you buck your hips. You knew you were going to cum soon, you hadn't had an orgasm since Chanyeol left. 

"Fuck." Baekhyun groans. 

"I'm gonna cum." You scream as he fucks you harder, and continues to rub you. 

Your orgasm hits you, making you scream out in pleasure, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you tighten around Baekhyun once again. 

He groans loudly, suddenly cumming, shooting his load inside of you, breathing heavily as he works through his orgasm. 

"Holy fuck." He sighs, pulling out of you. He lays next to you, and you snuggle into him, not caring about the mess, just being completely and utterly happy in the moment.

**

"So.." Baekhyun starts off the next morning, as you lay in his bed, tangled in his sheets. You have one leg and one arm sprawled across him as you snuggle in closer to him. "What about Matthew?" He asks.  

"I called him yesterday after you left, and I told him I didn't think things were going to work out, but I would like to remain friends." You explain. 

"And he was fine with that?" He asks. 

"He asked if there was someone else." You sigh. "I told him I wasn't sure, but I hoped and he wished me luck." 

"I didn't like you seeing him." Baekhyun admits. "It hurt but I felt like I couldn't do anything." He says. 

"Why?" You ask. 

"Because.. Chanyeol is my best friend and you were his." He tells you. 

"Chanyeol made his decision, and he chose Maya. I'm free to date whoever I want, and I want you." You whisper. 

"Oh baby girl." Baekhyun growls. "You have no idea what you do to me." He whispers, rolling over on top of you, pressing his lips to yours. You wrap your arms around him, pulling him in closer to you, never having felt so wanted or loved. 

** 

It has been a few months of you and Baekhyun dating, and you've kept it under wraps for the most part, wanting to stay in your little bubble of happiness. But now your friends were getting suspicious and you felt like it was time to tell them. And what other perfect time to tell them then at a dinner party that everyone is attending. 

That night you and Baekhyun had brought a spinach and artichoke dip that you made together and it was the best thing ever. You told Jongdae and his wife the news first, and they were both extremely happy for the both of you. 

Next, Minseok, Suho, Kyungsoo, Kai and Lay were told and they were all happy for you two, except Lay who was disappointed that things didn't work with Matthew, but he was happy that you were happy. 

You all sat around the dinner table when Chanyeol, Sehun and Maya walked in. Things instantly got tense and quiet the minute they entered the room. They hadn't noticed you yet and you could feel the knots forming in your stomach. 

"Hey guys." Chanyeol smiled, looking around the room and then his eyes landed on you and his smile dropped. 

"Hi friends." Maya chirps up, not realizing you were there until Sehun pointed it out, quite loudly and rudely. 

"Why is she here?" He asks, nodding his head towards you. 

"Because she's our friend." Jongdae pipes up, glare at Sehun.

"It's just weird." Maya comments, sitting down at the table. You ball your hands into fists under the table. Baekhyun reaches under the table, grabbing your hand to calm you down, showing you he's there and has your back. 

"It's not weird, actually." Baekhyun pipes up. "What's weird is coming to a gathering when you know no one here likes you. That's weird." He says, looking at Maya. 

"Baek." Chanyeol sighs. "She's my girlfriend." He says, as if that's a good enough reason. 

"Okay." Baekhyun says. "And she's mine." He says, nodding towards you. "So tell your girl to show some respect." 

"You're what?" Chanyeol asks, staring at you and Baekhyun, not even acknowledging the fact that Maya is sitting there with her mouth open and offended. "You're dating my ex-girlfriend?" 

"I am." Baekhyun says, not caring about Chanyeol's reaction anymore. 

"You.. you can't do that." He says. 

"And why not?" Baekhyun wonders. "You left her. You chose that over this amazing woman. You have no right to be angry here. You broke her, tore her apart and I'm putting the pieces back together." 

"I don't want her here." Maya pouts. 

"And no one wants you here." You chime in. You were tired of her and she had only been here for a few minutes. 

"Chanyeol." She whines, nudging him but he's still not paying attention to her, only looking at you and Baekhyun. 

"So.. what did you guys bring?" Lay asks, nodding towards their dish.

"Buffalo chicken dip." Maya says, with a smile.

You burst out laughing, rolling your eyes. "You mean you're still making the recipe that Chanyeol and I made together?" You ask with a smile on your face. 

Maya's smile instantly drops, looking at you with disgust. "Chanyeol." She yells. 

"What?" He snaps, turning to look at her. 

"Do something." She whines. 

"You don't have to do anything, man. We're gonna go. Thanks for having us, Jongdae. It's been interesting." Baekhyun says. He looks at you and holds out his hand. "Ready?" He asks you. You smile at him, taking his hand and walking out, hand in hand with the man who made you the happiest you've been. 

** 

A few days later you're in your apartment, singing and dancing as you clean up the place. You no longer missed Chanyeol, his name no longer brought pain to your heart, seeing things that reminded you of him no longer made you cry. You had Baekhyun now, and he treated you like a queen. 

You're walking past your front door when you hear a faint knock. You open it slightly and see an exhausted looking Chanyeol standing on the other side. 

"Can we talk?" He asks. 

You didn't want to hear what he had to say, but you decided to be nice and let him in. 

"What?" You ask, sitting on your couch as he stands in front of you. 

"I fucked up." He blurts out. "I should have never chosen Maya over you. I didn't realize what I was doing at the time, Y/N, please forgive me. I miss you. I miss us. We were great together." He breathes. 

You're shocked. You had spent weeks crying over him, wishing for him to come to you and say these words to you but now it was too late. 

"You're a little too late now." You say to him.

"I know you're with Baekhyun, but I had you first." He says. 

You scoff at him. "How dare you? How could you come here months after you left me for Maya and beg for me back when I'm finally happy again? It took a long time for me to be okay. Baekhyun has been there for me, he was the one who helped put me back together. You chose Maya. You made your bed." You yell. "Get out Chanyeol." 

"Y/N please." He begs. 

"No, you need to leave. I don't want you. I don't love you anymore." You tell him.

Chanyeol walks out the door, looking back at you with tears in his eyes. You felt no remorse for him. You had felt the way he was feeling, it was his own fault and you refused to be torn apart by him  again. Chanyeol was now your past, and Baekhyun was your future and you couldn't be happier about it. 

[starshipsofstarlord]

Stuck in 1903

Part Two

Masterlist

Summary: Damon and Bonnie had come to your rescue, or so you thought, but it is Kai’s every intention to get close to you again

Pairing: Kai Parker x reader

Warnings: angst, smidge of fluff, mentions of smut, mentions of death, mentions of murder, bad friendships, mentions of poison, swearing

Word Count: 2052

Find Part One Here

divider by @firefly-graphics

If the Other Side continued to exist, then you would be there rather than this subordinate prison world which had been designed for one bad witch. Kai's own kind feared him, you had experienced him mentally draining your energy, he was a chore to put up with, but he could do much more than that, you had learnt from Bonnie. He fed off magic, physically stealing it from bodies and items that harboured any of it, which had poisoned his mind to hunt for power. Your friends had informed you that he had murdered his siblings, well some of them anyway, and had attempted to do so to more of them. And now you knew, with supporting evidence, never to trust Malakai Parker.

Without Damon and Bonnie you had to resort to fending for yourself, which was not at all difficult since this version of Mystic Falls that you were trapped in was quite literally a ghost town. The forever enveloping silence was torture, though the method of ignorance had not been designed for you; it was all for Kai, and that unsettled you. There was one more thing that you had been dreading - the possibility that you could not escape from the remote isolation without the aid of the guest starring siphon himself. This hell was built to contain him for eternity, but now there was magic that he could use to his own advantage nearby.

Your cheek rested upon the side of your hand, mushing the flesh whilst your elbow was poised upon the countertop of the kitchen island in the Salvatore house. All of your concentration validated your deep thoughts, of which you were broken from as a plate was placed directly in front of you, a pancake decorated with chocolate chips and syrup to form a smiley face. Damon was the culprit as he threw a tea towel over his shoulder, expectedly looking at you.

"I'm not hungry." You informed the vampire, who simply frowned at your lack of an appetite. "I ate yesterday, which was technically today." Beneath the table, you crossed your ankles, as you earnt a sigh from your well aged friend; he clearly was not impressed by your behaviour. But you didn't know what he had expected from you, you had been trapped here for longer than you could remember, and alone until you had discovered the man that had been outcast by his own family. At the time you had not known of his murderous tendencies, and had wanted nothing more than to get away from him, and you wouldn't like to admit it but you even missed him a little.

He was annoying and cocky, and withheld crucial information from you, though there was something that contradicted that all. Whenever any one of your friends had suffered the fate of death, they were always attempted to be brought back to life against the natural order of things. It made you wonder and doubt a little if they had even tried to resurrect you. In this separated reality, there was no jurisdiction so that you could know, though each time that either Damon or Bonnie looked at you, you could swear that there was guilt written in their gazes.

"Look I knew being stuck here with Kai must have fucked you up-" he should have bit his lip, his assumptions were anything but correct. And that was proven as you defensively darted out of your seat and jabbed your finger in his face, making him pivot his jaw back. There were many things that were 'fucked up', and supposing that you were one of them because you had died after sacrificing yourself to ensure that they all continued to live just didn't settle right with you. The context of the morbid situation did not help with condoning any reassurance at all, in fact, it gave a spine to your lack of faith in him and the others in the first place. Out of everyone, it was inherently worse to be here with Damon, all he had cared about was his precious Elena as well as himself, and after existing for well over a century, that was insurance that he was never going to change.

"It wasn't him who did that to me, it was roaming this damned place by myself, I had no one. And as crazy as it sounds, I think spending time with the notorious Malakai Parker helped me keep what was to spare of my sanity. If I'm not wrong, I may even say that I've found more being here than dealing with the bullshit y'all cause back home." Perhaps your words were a tad harsh, if Bonnie were in the room you were sure that she'd have a somewhat understanding of what you were saying. Though she was not, and thus you had to deal with the harshness of her best friend all by your lonesome. And it seemed that you had rattled him, apparently he couldn't handle the truth.

"Then why don't you run back to the sociopath? When we discovered that you were here, we found the pair of you attached to the hip anyways. And with him inside of you, I'd never seen you so darn happy, better here with him than tempting me to drink bleach from the way that you constantly complained when you were alive; I swear you were worse than Donovan." It was on your mind's own command for you to take a step back, and away from the toxin that Damon had so cruelly spat at you. Ans the way that he compared you to Matt made you angry; it was though he were ignoring that there were valid reasons for the blond to be the way that he was - after all, the monster before you had practically killed his sister. A laugh renegaded out from your mouth as you realised that you had been right all along, none of them cared. You were just a burden that stopped them from having a perfect life together. If this were a book, then this would be the beginning to your villain arc, and ironically enough Damon saw himself as one of the good guys. Now that was utterly ridiculous after every reckless thing that he had ever done!

"Have it your way then bloodsucker." All along, you should have trusted your guy, and from now on you knew that you would listen to it. And strangely enough, it was calling you to Kai, maybe it was because he was your last resort to escaping this imprisonment that had been meant for him alone. Turning on your heel, you heard Damon flop the towel down on the side and sigh, though you continued to walk, appeasing your better judgement elsewhere. "Wait." He tried to convince you to stay, belatedly understanding the mistake that he had made, but it was no use, you were already on your journey of getting as far away as possible from him.

The Mystic Grill, it remained to be familiar in your eyes as you entered. It was empty and void of drunken assholes and narcissists that you had wasted too much time on. The only person that you missed in the modern alternative was Matt Donovan, he was the only person that didn't treat you as though you were invisible or a nuisance. You wondered how he was coping with your absence, knowing him, he was probably relieved that Damon was gone. But you weren't, because he was here with you instead. Trailing your fingertips over the counter of the bar, out of the corner of your eye you saw a lonely glass of bourbon that was sat there as though it were lamenting you with mockery. You tried to hold your sentimental sob inside, but it was practically impossible. It tore through your body, bellowing out from your mouth as you stifled and fought through your tears.

A hand caressed the landscape of your back causing you to jump and flinch from the unexpected contact. One thing that you had learnt from evading and eventually experiencing the qualms of death, was that you could never be too careful. For no more than a second you had predicted that the intruder to your pity party was Damon, that he had followed you as you tried to distance yourself from him, but alas it was not, instead of being greeted by a fretless vampire, you were condemned by the sight of a powerless witch, of whom had purposely interjected your moment of cracked emotion and wore a brave smile for you. Wiping your eyes with the back of your sleeves, you couldn't help but snap at him. "If you're here to finish what we started then tough luck Parker, you've been here long enough and you have two hands, figure something else out."

His tongue darted out to swipe at his own bottom lip, as he raised his hand, showcasing his offering to you. "I was only going to see if you wanted a pork rind, you look like you could use one." Sighing, you dug your hand into the pungent packet that was littered with dust and crumbs, retrieving a few treats for yourself as you placed them in your mouth. "And now should be when the poison kicks in..." With your hand, you gave him a little shove as you tolled your eyes at his homicidal comedy. "Come on, that was funny! I'm funny!"

"If you say so, there's not very many people around to give you an honest opinion." It was true, the only other human like lifeforms impartially close by were Damon and Bonnie, and well, you weren't going to scurry back to them anytime soon. "And if you had poisoned me, then you would know that I would be fine and dandy in not so long, It wouldn't make a difference if that wasn't the case either, I mean I'm already dead, what could be worse than that?" Kai looked at you with shock; he didn't know that about you, that you had actually suffered a final breath. Now he thought about it, the grand scheme of things he didn't know much about you in general, though he was prepared to learn. He had often found death to be fulfilling, satisfying even, but he'd never thought about its victims being so beautiful. Yet here you were before him, by chance the one force that could motivate and help him find a way out of this jarring hole of reaping misery.

"You're here, that's all that matters." As soon as those words fled from his lips he realised exactly what he had said, and a blush framed his features. "I um - that wasn't what I - you know, yeah..." He scratched the back of his neck as you shook your head at this new side that you were seeing of Malakai. His parents called him Malakai, of course he was going to become a killer, but right now you saw nothing more than an embarrassed boy whose skin had flushed as an affect of his own words. From your experience, everyone was either the killer or the killed - you two were one of each. Like ying and yang, you fit perfectly, it was a balanced divide that was settled on whichever rhythm played out in the air. And to correspond with that thought you walked over to the jukebox, a song beginning to play which made Kai want to cover his ears. "I hate this song." He told you; he really did, if he could murder it, he would without a doubt.

"Then don't listen, just dance with me." You extended your hands out to him, to which he begrudgingly reached for. And as he snapped his eyes open, he realised that was all a memory, and that goddamn song was still playing. All he could think about was you, he had seen how upset you had been to die, and yet you were gone again, and it was all down to your so called friends. One was standing before him as he sat in chains, imprisoned against a chair. "Are you here to punish me?" He asked Bonnie, wanting nothing more than shut his eyes and see your face again.

[goldenavenger02]

my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

5 times Zane took care of the team and 1 time the team took care of Zane

•••

1;

"You three are brothers now, and will become stronger together. But for now, you must get acquainted with each other." Sensei's words rang in Zane's head as he made his way into the kitchen of the monastery.

While Jay had been somewhat easy to get introduced to, with his passion for robotics and his tendency to talk, they had become close very quickly.

Cole, however, was a bit harder to speak to; Zane could tell that Cole was a good person, as he was extremely loyal to Sensei even though he had just started his training under him, but he was also closed off to Jay and Zane.

And while he didn't know why, Zane had a feeling it was more so due to some sort of pain in his past, and not him viewing himself and Jay as lower than him.

Which is why Zane was now in the kitchen; he could never quite place exactly why, but he always felt at peace when he was cooking. Something about making something out of nothing was soothing to him.

But before he had decided what exactly he was going to make, that's when Cole came in, a look of longing across his face.

"Hello, Cole," Zane greeted, offering him a smile, but it faded when Cole stiffened, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."

"It's alright, just startled me," Cole insisted, the look of longing came back before he asked, "are you making anything specific?"

"I have not decided. Do you have a request?" Zane asked, trying to read Cole's face.

"Can you make cake? Vanilla cake?"

"Absolutely," Zane smiled, going to grab the ingredients before asking, his back turned to Cole, "are we celebrating something, or is it just cake?"

He heard Cole take in a deep breath, almost as if he was trying to avoid crying, which didn't make much sense, since from what he knew, cake was never for sad things.

Zane turned around to see Cole staring at the counter before he responded.

"Yeah, it's…" he swallowed before locking eyes with Zane, "it would have been my mom's birthday. She passed away a few months ago."

"I am sorry for your loss, Cole." Zane spoke softly, unsure of how best to comfort someone he didn't know very well.

The room went quiet for a few moments, and Zane busied himself with grabbing the rest of the cooking supplies when Cole spoke up again, his voice cracking slightly from the tears.

"Can I help?"

Zane nodded, allowing Cole behind the counter before Zane got to work on the dry ingredients, watching as Cole started working on the wet ingredients.

And when Zane tripped over his own foot, resulting in Cole being covered in flour head to toe, he couldn't stop himself from laughing when Cole did, although he didn't fully understand exactly what was so funny.

2;

"Come on, you stupid hunk of junk!" Nya's shout rang through the Bounty, startling everyone that was aboard.

"How long has she been working on the thruster?" Zane asked, wondering just how long she had gone without food, sleep and water.

"Since yesterday afternoon, I can't pry her away from it." Jay explained, which led Zane to nod before making his way to the control room.

Nya was hunched over the thruster controls, screwdriver in her left hand and a screw hanging out of her mouth, her eyebrows scrunched in anger as she continued to twist the wrench with her right around a bolt.

"Nya?" Zane spoke softly, not wanting to provoke her, before gently putting his hand on her shoulder, "perhaps you should take a break. Jay said that you have been working on it since yesterday."

"I've gotta work on this," she shook her head after taking the screw out of her mouth, "we don't know when we'll have to make a getaway from...whatever Lord Garmadon is planning."

Zane nodded; since Garmadon had disappeared after the destruction of the golden weapons, they had all braced themselves for an attack, even Lloyd who had just started learning the full extent of his powers was getting ready for whatever his dad was going to throw at them.

"I understand your reasoning perfectly, but you are human, Nya. You will get burnt out if you work yourself too hard," he stopped to gently take the wrench out of her hand so she would look at him, "and if we have any chance at stopping Garmadon, we are going to need Samurai X."

Luckily, Nya nodded, and put up her tools, before wiping at her brow with her arm. "Thanks, Zane."

"You're welcome." Zane couldn't help but smile as he watched Nya make her way towards her quarters, and that's when he turned back to the thruster, and started to get to work with schematics pulled up in front of him.

"You will fly again, my friend."

3;

Despite the fact that it was called "The Dark Island", Zane had actually found the perfect place to sit on the beach and watch the sunrise, which was hidden by large rocks, even though he could see the ocean perfectly.

He knew that the others would wake up soon, and they would start working towards the final battle yet again, but for a brief moment, everything was peaceful.

Until he heard the footsteps.

Zane immediately drew his weapon, hearing the slight rustle of sand get louder and louder, until finally, he stood and yelled, ready to attack until the supposed assailant screamed, energy at both of their hands.

Zane immediately sheathed the weapon and took a deep breath, watching as Lloyd did the same, his hand against his chest. "You scared me, Lloyd."

"Likewise," Lloyd took a deep breath before raising an eyebrow, "what're you doing?"

"I'm watching the sunrise, it looks beautiful from here," Zane explained, sitting back down and watching Lloyd's face fall, "although, I could ask you the same thing."

"I just needed some time for myself," Lloyd told him, sitting next to Zane before letting out a sigh, "I don't think I'm ready."

"To fight your father?," Zane offered, resulting in a nod from Lloyd, "You have every reason to be upset about this situation. I just reunited with my father, and I can confidently say that I would be very distraught if we were on opposite sides."

"My entire life, I've lost people. My father got banished, my mother went to work on her research and left me at Darkley's, even my uncle didn't take me in for a long time," Zane watched as Lloyd took in a shaky breath before wiping his face against his sleeve, "I don't wanna lose him again."

"Again?" Zane asked softly, as to avoid provoking Lloyd.

"My dad has been the only one to come back for me. When I got taken by the Serpentine, he left whatever evil place he was in to come save me, and I know you guys came for me too, but…"

"You're scared of being abandoned again after you fulfill the prophecy." Zane spoke aloud as it clicked in his head, and when Lloyd nodded, he could feel his heart break slightly.

"I don't want to be alone again."

Zane nodded, before gently laying his hand on Lloyd's shoulder and he saw the tear streaks on Lloyd's cheeks. "You won't be alone again, because you have me and the others. We are your brothers, and even if you didn't have elemental abilities, we would still be your brothers."

Zane didn't prepare himself adquitally for the hug that Lloyd gave him, and he could feel his circuits and gears tightening under his grasp.

But hearing Lloyd's soft voice whisper, "thank you, Zane," made it all worth it, and he couldn't stop himself from returning the hug.

4;

"No sign of Chen or any of his warriors." PIXAL affirmed with a smile, which led Zane to repeat the message to Kai.

Now that he had been freed, he was fully able to explore exactly what his new body could do, and while he remembered big events clearly and flashes of small things, his memory was still foggy.

But he remembered his friends, and that was the biggest thing that mattered to him.

"Any sign of Skylor?" Kai begged, and Zane had no choice but to shake his head no, seeing the look of anguish on Kai's face grow more prominent.

"Let's keep looking. They couldn't have gotten off the island." Kai insisted, Zane following closely behind, watching as Kai's face went from anger to worry.

"You seem distraught, Kai. About more than Skylor," Zane reached forward and gently set his hand on Kai's shoulder, watching as he turned back to meet his eyes, "do you want to talk about it?"

Kai let out a sigh before turning back to the path and continued to walk, "I feel terrible for what happened. I had to trick Lloyd in order to get the staff from Chen, and then I almost hurt Lloyd and Skylor with the staff. Now she's missing, and...I feel like that's on me."

"No one blames you for that, Kai. Chen is the one who took her, not you." Zane reasoned softly.

"But I allowed myself to be corrupted by the staff. We all know how bad losing power is for Lloyd, and I allowed the power to consume me, to say things to him that...that I haven't believed in a long time."

"As soon as we get back, you two should talk and get everything out in the open," Zane stopped once again to put his hand on Kai's shoulder, "if we are going to fight as one, and stop Chen, we cannot have any harsh feelings towards each other."

"You're right," Kai nodded, before letting out another sigh, "I just hope Lloyd doesn't hate me."

"I think that would be impossible, Kai," Zane insisted, and when Kai turned to raise an eyebrow at him, he continued, "I do not remember everything, and my memories are still foggy, but I remember just how much Lloyd and you have bonded over the years. I have a feeling that after you two talk, he will forgive you."

Kai smiled, which made Zane's emotion levels spike with happiness, before the two continued walking deeper and deeper into Chen's island.

5;

Zane couldn't shake the feeling that he was missing something, like there was a gap in his memory drive, even if PIXAL insisted that there wasn't one.

So he was awake in the bridge, trying to double check; he really did trust PIXAL, but something had happened to his memories, and after the whole situation with his memory switch in the first place, something about forgetting just scared him.

But as he continued to go through his internal hard drive, and his memory drive, it seemed as though PIXAL was correct, and there was no gap.

As he went to close the files, that's when PIXAL popped up in his vision.

"Zane, there is someone in the general proximity of the bridge. Proceed with caution."

Zane straightened his back as he closed the files, even though the only sound he could hear was a slight sniffling that sounded a lot like crying, and grabbed one of the spare katanas that was out, turning slowly to see if he could scope out who was in the room, but that's when Jay turned the corner, a pint of ice cream in his hand that he almost threw at Zane when he screamed.

"What the heck are you doing up, Zane?!" Jay screeched as Zane set the katana on the table and approached him, "You're going to give me a heart attack if you're that quiet!"

"I'm sorry, I was just…" Zane trailed off before making eye contact with Jay, who now had the spoon from the pint of ice cream, that looked like it was Cole's ice cream, in his mouth; the tear streaks barely visible against Jay's cheeks, however, that's what Zane noticed, "What are you doing up at this hour?"

"Could ask you the same thing," Jay responded before sticking another spoonful in his mouth, "couldn't sleep, got hungry, and Cole's name isn't on his ice cream."

"I heard someone crying." Zane asked softly, watching as Jay nearly choked on a chunk of cookie dough before sputtering.

"Maybe it was Lloyd, you know he curls up under the wheel when he doesn't want anyone to know he's crying."

"Lloyd was snoring when I left our room, I would have seen him," he watched as Jay's body deflated slightly and he put the ice cream down on the console before sitting down, which led Zane to put his hand on his shoulder, "do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm just working through some things, things that...you wouldn't remember."

Zane swallowed as he made the connection that Jay knew exactly why he had a gap in his memory that PIXAL couldn't detect, but instead of freaking out, he sat next to Jay, and put his hand on his shoulder. "Maybe not, but I am willing to listen, even if you wanna erase this conversation afterwards."

"Nah, I'm not gonna do that," Jay wiped his hand across his face before taking a shaky breath and turning back to Zane, "You remember when we were trying to get to Stiix because of reports of Clouse being there?"

"Yes, that's when you and Nya resumed dating." Zane affirmed, watching as Jay's face fell slightly.

"Yeah, that's… not exactly what happened…"

6;

'Remember when I put Kai's clothes in with yours, and you had to dress up as the pink ninja? Remember?' The blonde boy pleaded, green eyes full of tears.

He had no idea what this liar was talking about, let alone who he was. Vex insisted he was some sort of liar or traitor, but there was something about the way…

'No.'

He had no idea who this was.

•••

Zane tried to shake the memory away as he made his way to his room, looking over at the photo on his dresser.

The picture that they had taken after finishing the mural on the monastery wall; where Kai was holding onto Nya and Lloyd and Nya was holding onto Jay and Jay was holding onto Cole and Lloyd was holding onto him and he was holding onto PIXAL.

And they were all happy; even though the Oni almost killed them all, there was a large gash next to Lloyd's eye and Cole looked like he had been through the underworld and back, they were happy.

Zane was anything but happy now.

When they returned from the Never-Realm, and they shared weary smiles and hugs with Master Wu and PIXAL, despite the frostbite, Lloyd's obvious concussion and the burns on Kai's hands that would definitely scar, they were happy.

The feeling in Zane's gut was not going away anytime soon. Watching as PIXAL stitched the cut on the back of Lloyd's head, applied bandages to Kai's hands, and treated the frostbite wasn't helping with that either.

Zane didn't deserve to feel happy after nearly killing the others. After nearly killing Lloyd.

While the others were eating dinner, courtesy of Nya, Zane was sitting outside on the steps of the monastery; he didn't need to eat, and even if he did, he didn't think he could stomach it.

'You were built to protect those who cannot protect themselves. You failed your purpose. Both as a ninja, and as yourself.'

Despite all that had happened with his memories, Zane was starting to consider asking Jay to wipe the archive of the Never-Realm. Maybe he wouldn't feel as bad then.

"Hey," a voice interrupted his thoughts, and he lifted his head to see Lloyd smiling at him, although it was more of a sympathetic smile than a genuine one, "mind if I sit here?"

"You're not supposed to be outside, or on stairs for that matter, without supervision," Zane reasoned, but still moved so Lloyd could sit beside him, "you still have a concussion."

"Well, you're here, so I'm being supervised," Lloyd reasoned while sitting, and Zane couldn't deny that logic, and the company was more welcome than the deafening silence, "besides, I need a break from Kai and Master Wu breathing down my neck."

Zane nodded as Lloyd adjusted to get comfortable; he had noticed how understandably protective both of them had grown since they had gotten back, and how Lloyd had insisted immediately that the concussion was Vex's fault, refusing to look Zane in the eye.

"So, are you leaving?" Lloyd's voice cracked, which jolted something in Zane's system as he nearly stood with the shock.

"No, no, I'm not leaving," he insisted, unable to ignore the relief on Lloyd's face as he spoke, "why would you ask that?"

"Because the last time you left the monastery at night, you found my treehouse," Lloyd kicked at a pebble before looking at Zane, "and when the Hypnobri burned down the old monastery-"

But Lloyd's voice cut out as the scene played out in his head.

'Flames, trapped dragons, no more training equipment, no home, nowhere to go, alone, everyone accusing him of causing this, insisting that it was a teaching moment, being ignored, seeing the falcon, following it, the feeling of being alone again.'

"I left because I saw the falcon, and you weren't even there." Zane tried to convince Lloyd that it hadn't been the guilt, feeling like he had screwed up, feeling like he was alone.

"You're right, I was busy being a brat," Lloyd reasoned before looking back at Zane, "but I know as well as anyone what guilt is, and you felt it then, like you feel it now."

Zane swallowed; did everyone know? Was he terrible at hiding this? Had they planned to send Lloyd out?

"I hurt people. A lot of people," Zane swallowed, knowing that there were tears in his eyes, "I hurt you."

"That was Vex-" Lloyd tried to insist, but Zane shook his head, unable to look at Lloyd and instead looked up at the glittering stars.

"You don't have to lie to me, Lloyd. They were my hands, I was the one who…" he couldn't even finish his sentence without choking on the emotions on his throat.

He felt Lloyd's hand on his shoulder, he couldn't look at him, but he couldn't reach over and pull his hand off either, 'what if I freeze him? What if I hurt him again?'

"You know, Master Wu has a saying for things like this, "we cannot change the past, but we can affect the future"," Lloyd quoted, leading Zane to swallow harshly as his master's words rang true in his head, "but I get it. Feeling like you hurt people because it was your hands."

'Morro.'

"Lloyd, I didn't-" Zane started, finally managing to look at Lloyd, but he was cut off by childlike wonder spreading across his face.

"A shooting star! Quick, make a wish!" Lloyd begged, and Zane wiped at his tears before closing his eyes, pretending to make a wish before turning back to Lloyd.

"What did you wish for?" He asked, fully indulging Lloyd at this point, who was standing up. 'Lloyd deserves this, after everything.'

"That you'll come back inside with me and the others," Lloyd held out his hand to Zane, making his head throb with worry.

'You'll hurt him, you'll hurt him, you'll hurt-' "You're not going to hurt me, Zane."

Zane took Lloyd's hand, and allowed him to lead him to the living room.

For the first time since they got back from the Never-Realm, as Cole and Kai went head to head in their video game, as Nya and Jay snuggled on the couch, as he sat in between Lloyd and PIXAL, things felt right again.

He let PIXAL hold his hand, he let Cole high five him, he let Jay give him a fist bump, he hit the empty bag of chips away from Lloyd's head. Even as Master Wu pulled Lloyd away from the TV due to the concussion and Cole took his spot, he still felt calm. Relaxed even. Maybe now, they could all start to heal together.

[littleoldrachel]

"well, it's the thought that counts"

for the wonderful @rachfielden-xo who literally sent this in a month ago (sorrrrry and thank you!!) and asked for well, it's the thought that counts with scott and alan from this prompt list.

this legit turned into scott teaching alan to make pancakes and i'm not even mad about it. the recipe the boys are using is [here].

[if you wanna prompt me, hmu!]

*~*~*~*~*

There are lots of things Alan doesn’t understand.

Black holes. Why his momma isn’t coming back ever again. The reason a Mars sunset streaks blue. Why Virgil has become some soulless cavity and John won’t say a word. How, despite year after year of technological advances, there’s still no evidence of alien lifeforms out there.

Why Scott never has time for him anymore.

It’s been days since Scott even said more than a few words to Alan, weeks since he last crushed Scott at videogames - he hasn’t even taken him to the park since -

Well.

And it’s not that he doesn’t love spending time with his other brothers; Gordon annoys the heck out of him on a daily basis but makes him laugh till it hurts far more. John is the one who gets him, who refuses to dumb down scientific explanations, who shares his passion for all things space. And Virgil - Virgil Before, that is - is the only person who knows how to hug him just right, who listens no matter how banal Alan’s worries are.

He loves them so much his heart might explode apart like a zombie’s head meeting his videogame character’s bazooka - except Alan’s not ever leaving them, not ever, not now he knows what that does to them all.

It’s just that Scott is fast turning into Dad, notable only by his absence.

And Alan doesn’t need another one of those.

More than that though, he can see the way his brother is running himself ragged trying to be mother and father and everything in between, and despite Virgil’s interventions and John’s best efforts, it’s not getting any better.

Which is where Alan comes in.

Alan is going to save his brother because he’s no baby, despite what everyone thinks.

What he lands on is simple but effective: he’s going to make Scott his favourite breakfast and draw him a card to say thank you, because he wants Scott to know Alan sees everything he’s doing to keep them afloat.

The card is straightforward enough - he’s no Virgil, but he’s pretty sure it’s clearly a rocket that he’s drawn. His tongue pokes out as he colours in as carefully as he can, only going over the lines a few times. He draws himself and Scott in the window of the rocket, grinning wildly (perhaps a little manically if he’s being honest) and adds Mars to the background.

Inside, in wobbly, looping script he prints:

Deer Scotty

Thanks for bing the best. I love you.

Love

Alan

Mission: Amazing Card - completed.

Now he just needs to make the pancakes.

Right then. First step is the ingredients.

In theory, this should be straightforward enough. Alan has seen Scott do this numerous times, had half-listened when Virgil taught John, and has eaten more of these pancakes than he can begin to count (but never enough!).

Alan pushes a chair against the counter, uses it to hoist himself onto the surface, and scrambles to the cupboard.

He knows that there’s a mountain of flour involved, because the little puffs of white powder always fluff through the sieve and make him sneeze. What he didn’t anticipate was that there would be different types of flour, in neat colour coded packages. He picks red, because it’s his favourite colour, and dumps as much of it as he can through the sieve, poking at it with his fingers to push it through.

It doesn’t look as neat as when Scott does it, and the entire surface is already dusted with flour, but most of it is in the bowl, so he’s doing okay.

He goes for brute strength with the eggs, smashing them into the side of the bowl. Little pieces of shell slide into the mixture with the yolk, but it’s so slippery he can’t get them out. Fingers coated in sloppy flour, he retreats. Maybe Scott won’t mind the crunchiness.

The milk carton is far heavier than Alan anticipated, and he loses his grip on the condensation-slick handle, watching in slo-mo horror as a glug of milk hits the side of the bowl, ricochets off it -

And splat!

It lands straight on top of Alan’s card, and Alan -

He’s not going to cry, he’s not -

His mom always said he shouldn’t cry over spilt milk, except this time it’s ruined everything.

Milk drips off the counter and Alan clenches his fists, willing the baby inside him to shut up. Eventually, the upset reassembles itself into a grumpiness that has him whisking furiously. The mixture slops all over the place, decorating the floor, countertop and his too-big apron with splatters of batter. It’s a lot runnier than Scott’s usually is, but by now Alan Does Not Care, he just wants to get this done and hug Scotty.

He’s just standing in front of the oven, wondering which dial is for which of the flame things, when the kitchen door opens.

Sixteen-year-old Scott, whose eyes have circles far deeper and greyer than they have any right to be, is standing there, and Alan becomes Very Aware all of a sudden of what the kitchen must look like through Scott’s eyes:

Flour absolutely everywhere (he can feel on his eyelashes and tickling his nose), little pools of batter all over the floor, Alan with his hand on the stove to work out how to make the fire come out -

“What the hell.”

Scott takes a deep breath, presses the heel of his hand to his eyes and says, “what are you doing, Alan?”

Alan forces himself to stand up tall like Dad always says. “Making you breakfast.”

There’s a pause, and Scott surveys the disaster zone once more. “I can see that,” he says finally, voice a little faint.

Alan swallows because this isn’t at all like he wanted it to go, but he brandishes the bowl of batter and does his best to peel the card from the surface. “For you!”

Scott stares, but takes the bowl. “Is this.... pancake mix?”

Alan nods eagerly, “your favourite! And here.”

The cursed milk smudged his amazing drawing, but it’s still sort of a rocket. Scott carefully prises open the card, and his whole body softens as he reads the message inside. “Allie,” he manages, “Allie, this is so -”

He presses a fist to his mouth and Alan watches in horror as his Neptune eyes shine overly-bright. This was supposed to be a nice thing, but he got it all wrong -

“I’m sorry,” Alan cries, flinging himself at Scott in a hug. “Don’t cry, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make such a mess -”

“Allie, no -” Scott’s voice is firmer now, but Alan can’t bear to look at him falling apart like Virgil and John and Dad, because Scott is Scott and he can’t fall apart. It will obliterate Alan’s heart like a grenade in a zombie hideout if he has to see Scott cry.

Scott crouches though, and Alan’s forced to make eye contact. He’s relieved to see that Scott’s face has lost its sadness.

“Thank you so much for all of this, Allie,” Scott says, so sincere and so strongly, it washes something warm and safe over Alan’s shoulders.

“But it’s t-t-terrible! The pancakes are all wrong and I don’t know how to cook them and the card got milked and - and -” Alan can hear the wail in his voice and he resents it; it knocks hard into the defiant figure inside him that insists I’m not a baby!

“It’s not terrible, Allie. It’s - it’s lovely.”

“You’re saying that to make me feel better.” He can’t help but pout.

“No, I mean it. I love it - all of it.”

“Even the mess?”

“Even the mess.”

“Why?”

“Because… Well, it’s the thought that counts, Allie.”

Alan wrinkles his nose and Scott grins, using his sleeve to wipe off some of the stray flour. “I mean it. The fact that you wanted to do something nice for me makes me really happy.”

Alan hmphs, but tucks himself into Scott’s side and Scott obliges, squeezing him tight in one of those cuddles Alan has missed so much.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around much, Allie, but I love you and I’m gonna do better, ‘kay?”

Alan stiffens and pulls away. “Wait no! That’s what this was for, Scotty.” He wants to stamp his foot in frustration so bad, but knows that’s Baby Behaviour and so he settles for a scowl. “I don’t want you trying to do more when you already do everything! I just miss you, I don’t need you to do anything better. I just need Scotty.”

Scott is blinking too fast for the second time in ten minutes. “Did Virg put you up to this?” he says a little hoarsely.

Alan frowns. “No. But if he thinks the same thing, shouldn’t you be listening?”

Scott’s eyes widen, and he ducks his head, covers his eyes again.

Alan goes back in for a hug, presses his cheek into Scott’s chest and listens to the steady thump-thump of his heart. He feels Scott take a deep breath and put his armour back up, and Alan’s heart makes a sad little clench.

“What do you say we make some pancakes together? Ones that are actually edible?” Scott clambers to his feet with a grin.

“Hey! They would be!” Alan protests, but then he looks back at the mixture, which is congealing in watery lumps and he fights a smile.

“But first,” Scott flattens the card and clips it to the fridge with a magnet, and Alan -

Alan’s heart skips.

It’s been a long time since any of them - even Virgil - have had anything hung on the fridge. But his little card - his silly, ruined card - is up there in pride of place and that means more to him than he knows what to do with.

Scott ruffles his hair, dislodging the flour that’s gathered itself there, and for once Alan doesn’t have the words to protest. Scott half-turns, catches Alan’s lost expression, and shoots him the gentlest of smiles.

“Ready to make the best pancakes in the world?”

As if he even needs to ask.

Scott easily sorts through the cupboard, drawing out the blue flour, a pot of baking powder, and some sugar. It’s all white.

“Why do they have to make all the important stuff the same colour?” Alan complains, and Scott laughs, loudly and easily. It’s a wonderful sound.

“Here’s something that’s a different colour,” Scott says, tossing eggs between his palms with an assured ease. “It’s egg time.”

He passes one to Alan, and Alan goes to smash it against the bowl, when -

“Wait!”

Alan pauses, mid-swing, and Scott plucks the egg from him.

“Gently, Allie. Like this.”

Scott repositions his hands so that his grip on the egg is looser, then gently moves his wrist to give one sharp tap against the side of the bowl. The egg breaks, golden yolk dripping out, but miraculously, no shell escapes.

“Reckon you can do the next one on your own?” Scott asks, and Alan nods at once. He looks to Scott to check he’s doing it right, and every time Scott is there to meet his gaze.

(As he always is, always will be).

Scott helps him to lift the milk carton, and between them, they pour it into a little well that Scott instructs him to dig in the mixture. Scott hands Alan a whisk with a solemnity that Alan recognises from Gordon’s pranks, and sure enough, no sooner than he’s taken it, Scott is brandishing a spatula and yelling “en garde!” and then it’s all out war.

“Loser has to whisk the mixture!” Scott says between parries, and Alan knows he’s being deliberately slow and clumsy but if that’s how he wants to play, then so be it. Alan blocks a few of Scott’s easy strikes, and feigns left, before darting right to jab him in the ribs.

“Victory!” he yells.

Scott crashes to his knees in mock agony. “You got me!”

Alan pushes the bowl towards him smugly. “Your punishment.”

“So merciful.”

“No talking! Only whisking!”

With Scott’s expert hands, the batter turns into a smooth, creamy mixture, and he guides Alan as the chocolate chips are poured in. “And now we fold.”

“Fold? Like paper?”

Scott grins, and Alan scowls. “Don’t laugh at me.”

“Sorry kiddo. Like this.” Scott shows Alan a gentle scraping motion that turns the mixture towards the centre of the bowl.

“Are we there yet?” The chocolate chips are making Alan’s mouth water, and as messy and inaccurate as his recipe might have been, it was at least quicker.

“Nearly. Let me just heat the pan.”

Scott dashes the pan with a blob of butter, and smiles softly as it begins to sizzle and melt, before he turns sharply to Alan.

“Hey, Allie?”

“Mm?”

“Please don’t use the stove without me or Virg there, okay?”

A ladle of pancake batter goes into the pan, and Alan stares at it in anticipation.

“But it was an emergency.”

“And you could have asked Virg, even if you wanted to surprise me.”

Alan frowns, crosses his arms. “He wouldn’t have helped, he’s always in bed these days.” Scott swallows, the crease of concern back between his eyebrows and Alan’s heart sinks. “I didn’t mean that. He would help, really.”

“He’s just really sad, Allie. Give him some time.”

“We’re all really sad,” Alan says, in a smaller voice than he intends.

There’s a pause, and Scott says, equally small, “I know.”

Scott removes the pan, passes it to Alan, and gently adjusts his grip, until -

“One, two, three, flip!”

The pancake does a perfect somersault, landing uncooked side down in the pan, and Scott beams, even though his eyes look so sad.

Silence falls once more, and Alan finally looks up at Scott, surprised when he’s already watching him.

“I love you, Allie. So much.”

Alan blinks, but the words come easily - he’s not yet at Gordon’s age where such declarations are Deeply Embarrassing. “Love you, Scotty.”

“I know the last few months have been really rough,” Scott says slowly, as though he’s measuring each word out like ingredients. “But never forget that I love you and all of us love you. It’s okay to be sad, but you don’t need to deal with it on your own, okay?”

Alan nods, tucks himself into Scott’s side once more, because the contact feels more important than words right now. Heck, he doesn’t even know what he could say to that. It’s everything he knows technically, but hearing it said out loud? It hits different in a way that knocks all the words right out of his head.

On cue, the pancake has turned into a golden-brown puffed up beauty, and Scott grins widely.

“Bets on who’ll be the first to smell this and make their way down to join in?”

Alan laughs. “Definitely Gordon.”

“Nah, Virg has a weird sixth sense about pancakes.”

*~*~*~*~*

They’re both wrong as it turns out.

John slinks into the kitchen, followed shortly after by a bright-eyed Gordon (“that doesn’t count, Allie!” “Does too!” “Does not!”) and a dull-eyed Virgil.

Whilst Scott and Alan stack up the pancakes, Scott corrals the others into beginning the clean-up process. There’s some good-natured ribbing about the Disaster pancake mixture, which has started solidifying alarmingly quickly, and Virgil spots the card on the fridge, turning to Alan with the first genuine smile he’s seen from him in so long.

Everyone is ravenous by the time there are a sufficient amount of pancakes for them all, and then it’s every man for himself as they wrestle for sauces and squabble over the last pancakes.

It’s the first time they’ve all eaten a meal together in so long, and it’s the best gift he could have ever given Scott, even though he couldn’t have planned the highs and lows of this particular adventure. Virgil is actually laughing about something with Gordon, and John is inserting the occasional comment with a smile, and Scott -

Scott meets Alan’s eyes with a proud smile.

Alan’s heart feels like it’s actually glowing, a soft, golden light in his chest, because he did that - he and Scott.

They make a good team.

And they always will.

[punkpoemprose]

A Convenient Arrangement Part 9

Universe: Canonverse Arranged Marriage AU Rating: T Length: 6514 Words A/N: It’s been a while, I probably still won’t be updating regularly because I’m busy, but here’s something for now. P.S. asks & comments are very much appreciated, nice comments make me feel like writing every time I get them, but please don’t ask when I’m going to update. I don’t have answers for you.

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8]

Kristoff felt uncomfortable to say the least. He was standing still while a stranger and his party of assistants measured him, held fabrics up toward him, and made comments on his physique both complimentary and, well, he couldn’t really say that the rest were meant to be kind. He wasn’t used to people who said things but didn’t say them straight, and while he was sure that “it’s like dressing a bull” wasn’t meant to be directly insulting, it also wasn’t quite a compliment either. He’d never been particularly ashamed of the way he looked, but he was being made certain from the commentary that he wasn’t built for whatever the “fashionable” silhouette was.

He wanted to walk away, to say that he’d wear his own clothes and to tell them exactly where they could shove their measuring tapes. He hadn’t exactly expected a “professional tailoring” to be a fun experience by any stretch of the imagination, but he also wasn’t prepared to be someone’s dressing doll. They hadn’t asked him his opinion on anything, and he wasn’t sure if that was a blessing, or whether it meant they were going to dress him like some kind of dandy who’d never spent a day of his life working.

“The yellow silk?”

He closed his eyes, just so he didn’t have to see whatever they were up to. Whatever it was involved tassels.

He could only distract himself by thinking of something else, by going inside himself and putting his mind to use imagining himself somewhere, anywhere else. He wondered how often he’d need to do such a thing, now that he was prince consort to the crown princess of Arendelle and soon to be some sort of aristocrat given lands and titles to justify his marriage. He couldn’t help but wish that he could just go back to the mountain and be away from all the new responsibilities his marriage to Anna had foisted upon him.

He had no objections to his duties to her, but to the court and the country, was another point entirely. He liked to think of himself as a good citizen of Arendelle. He paid his taxes, he worked hard, he tried his best to help his fellow man where and when he could, but he wasn’t built for pomp and circumstance. He wasn’t even built for suit fittings.

He let his thoughts drift away from the room, pushing all worries of brocade and buttons out of his mind, and landing himself back into memories of the early morning and being in bed with Anna. It was the easiest to imagine, the quickest way to relax.

He remembered waking up at first light with the gentle pressure of her body against his, the sheets tangled around them from their turning and shifting in the night. She’d fallen asleep on his chest, and when he woke, he’d been holding her there. Her hair had been partially in his face, fanned out across his chest and over his arm. While she had still been asleep, he’d carefully brushed it away from his face. While smoothing it under his hand, his heart raced over the intimacy of the action and the fear that she might wake up and tell him to stop.

He didn’t think that she would have asked him to, not when she so often was the one touching him first, reaching out for his hand, but after their conversation the night before he was worried. She didn’t trust him completely despite the strides they’d made, and despite the fact that she’d apparently vouched for him with her sister. He couldn’t blame her really, especially not after hearing all the ways in which her trust had been broken in the past.

Give her time. Give her love.

He could imagine his mother giving him the advice. He was far from a love expert himself and his family was a bit overzealous in their love and support, but he thought that maybe taking their advice and running it through his filter first might produce a kind of logic. Imagining what his mother might say about how he should treat his wife was probably a good place to start.

He’d give Anna all the time she needed. This was new for them both, but he was already believing that she might be his other half, that fate brought them together as mad as it sounded. So he knew that she was worth the wait. He already saw the little ways he was falling in love with her.

After he’d moved her hair, he’d enjoyed resting with her in his arms, feeling the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed with him. He’d felt her rouse, but didn’t say a word. He’d known that once they left bed, he was unlikely to see her for the rest of the day. Kai had him scheduled for several meetings and lessons and tours, and Anna, regardless of the promise made to them of no joint duties for a week, certainly had responsibilities of her own to attend to. He still didn’t know what they were, but he knew she must have some. Someday he would too.

He missed her already. He missed the rightness he felt while holding her close. He missed the way that she made him feel almost comfortable in the palace walls even while he was under the scrutiny of those who didn’t think he belonged.

He didn’t belong, of course. Being her husband gave him a reason to live in the castle, it gave him station, but it didn’t make him belong. Standing where he was now, walking through the hallways to get to the room without her by his side, constantly needing to check the little map she’d drawn for him, had made that abundantly clear. He wished he had it in him to announce to the room, to everyone who looked at him sideways, that he hadn’t asked for this, and that they could trade places with him if they preferred, but he couldn’t say it.

He couldn’t even offer a single breath to the idea that it would be anyone else at Anna’s side.

He may not be royal by anything but marriage but holding her made him feel like he was exactly where he needed to be.

He’d held onto her as long as he could in bed, not telling her that he was awake even though he knew that she was.  He remembered her snort-laugh when he’d told her that he’d pretended to be asleep this time. He hadn’t said that he’d do it again to just hold her a little longer.

He remembered the way she’d nuzzled her face into his chest and murmured about breakfast without making any moves to leave him for a long while. They may have never moved, but of course a knock had eventually come, summoning them both from bed. They’d broken their fast together in relative quiet, the silence only broken by the sounds of silverware clinking, and he’d felt like he’d wanted to say something, catching her staring at him every now and then, but he didn’t have the words to say what he was feeling. He still wasn’t sure of what it was he had been feeling.

Domesticity? Comfort? Love?

None of the words fit. Not yet at least, though he’d like for them to be the right words someday.

Another knock had come and interrupted the quiet meal, and with the quick scurrying and whispering of an anxious looking maid, Anna had excused herself from the table. She’d given him a look that he registered as a sort of longing, he only knew it as such because she gave the same look to her bacon, and then she was gone.

A knock came again, this time in the present, pulling him from his recent memories abruptly.

“My Lord?”

It was Kai, and in a short a time as Kristoff had known the man, he had never been so grateful for his appearance as he was now. Which was saying something given he and Anna were thus far the only people who didn’t make him feel like a complete outsider.

He met the man’s eye and, reminded by his presence that he needed to at least feign manners, only gave him a somewhat subtle look of “save me”.

Blessedly Kai obliged.

“His lordship is needed elsewhere. Please collect your things so that we might have the room to discuss his next appointment for the day.”

The older man turned toward the tailor and his staff and with a look that clearly said “now” sent them all scrambling to pick up fabrics and tapes and bits of paper. When they dispersed, the heavy oak door closing behind them with a thud, Kristoff let his shoulders slump. The sigh that he let out was unintended, but hardly unwarranted.

He took a deep breath that was his first in what felt like hours.

“A bit much, weren’t they sir?”

Kristoff examined the old man, gazing at the scowl of distaste on his face, directed at the door. He knew that his status as his valet was a temporary one, but he couldn’t help but feel that he was exactly the sort of person he’d like in his corner in the long term.

“That’s an understatement.”

Kai gave a bit of a wry smile before recomposing himself and appearing more regretful than amused.

“His father was the royal tailor to the King, a very noble and understated older gentleman who listened more than he spoke. He made the most excellent suits.”

He looked down at his own jacket for a moment, adjusting the sleeve as if he were recalling a garment from an earlier time and in doing so, found his current attire not quite up to snuff. Kristoff had felt similarly in his wedding clothes, recalling the way he could only compare them to his more comfortable daily wear.

“The Queen and Princess have a dressmaker in their employ who is similarly talented and reserved,” Kai continued, bringing his attention back to Kristoff and meeting his eye with another apologetic gaze, “Unfortunately, on such short notice we relied on the assumption that the young tailor would be like his father in manner, which is clearly not the case. I apologize. Perhaps we can find someone else, but given the short notice…”

He knew that Kai was implying that they were out of options unless he had a better one. It felt strangely like a test in ways Kristoff couldn’t quite put his finger on, almost as if Kai were trying to determine something about him from the uncomfortable situation.

Kristoff didn’t take more than a moment of thought before interrupting, “There’s a tailor in the market I usually buy from, he does good work. He has my measurements already. His wife is pregnant, he could use the money.”

Kristoff didn’t expect Kai to grin. He was already mentally admonishing himself for interrupting, but the balding old gentleman simply nodded.

Whatever the test had been, he’d passed.

Maybe royals are meant to be contrary. I’ve always been good at that.

“Nilsson. I don’t know his first name. He’s got a market stall but does almost all the work out of his house by the docks. He’s got a slate out front, pretty easy to find if you’re looking for it.”

Kai pulled a paper and pencil from somewhere on his person and against his palm, quickly jotted the notes. Kristoff wondered if that level of efficiently was born or made. He’d always been proud of his own ever evolving competence in his work, but he never thought that he’d be ready for anything in the way Kai seemed to be.

“I’ll see that he is made aware of your lordship’s request and that he understands the quality required. Are there any specific requests you have for fabric or color?”

Kristoff looked from the man to the door and back again.

“No yellow silk.”

***

Anna wasn’t wholly certain as to why she was feeling so nervous. She’d sent Kai after Kristoff only a few minutes before, evidently interrupting his whole schedule though he hadn’t said anything about it. Anna just knew the man well enough that when she saw him pull a pencil and a folded paper from his pocket that he was rearranging a schedule. She remembered him crossing off sections of the page like he had for her father before.

No matter how much everything changes, some things stay the same.

She couldn’t help but wonder if he was enjoying assisting Kristoff. Soon enough he’d be Elsa’s personal counsel again, but Anna liked to think that he was enjoying the sort of daily trials and tribulations that were coming with helping her husband.

She’d been too high strung after her meeting with Elsa to be much use in focusing on anything let alone tracking someone down, but now it was at least a little bit relaxing to move her thoughts people instead of the stress of upcoming responsibilities.

When Elsa had sent a maid to fetch her in the middle of breakfast she had, of course, been up for hours and as such had already eaten. Anna suspected that her sister never actually slept and that it was the answer for why she was always up and ready for the day at the crack of dawn.

She hadn’t been more than half awake when she was taken from her bacon and from Kristoff’s quiet company. She’d been promised a week by her sister, one week of no duties, but that wasn’t exactly true. It had been more like one week with no scheduled duties, just meetings when the occasion arose, as it had in the middle of breakfast.

“Anna,” her sister had said, looking a bit tired which reminded Anna that her sister was indeed human after all, “I’m planning a party.”

That had been all that was required to shock Anna into full consciousness.

She may as well be running off to join the circus for how like her that is.

“You didn’t get an engagement party and we want the citizens to be able to celebrate the wedding, so the council requested that I announce a festival in your honors.”

That had made more sense, but now, standing alone in the library, trying to distract herself by staring at the shelves upon shelves of books before her, she wondered why exactly a party was needed at all. She appreciated her sister’s interest in her input about the colors and the food and the events, and she knew that it was meant to be an apology of sorts for the fact that she’d had no control over her wedding, but Anna also wasn’t ready for another big event.

She’d only promised Kristoff a week without duties, and they were now getting a full month. Somehow it didn’t seem to be a balm in her mind. She hated the idea that they would soon need to be a public spectacle, that they would be watched and commented on. She hated the thought of watching Kristoff shrink away like he had in the kitchens, that he might think again that he didn’t belong when all she wanted was for him to feel right when he was at her side.

She could hear the talk of the town in her ear, not truly there, but just as real in her head as if there was some chatty merchant’s daughter at her back.

They had to steal him from the mountains to marry her, who wants used goods?

To her right she could hear her giggling friend.

So sad, isn’t it? Poor man.

To her left, not in her imagination, but in reality, was a cold and empty hearth with a settee between her and it. Her hands shook at her sides as she tried to focus on anything but the creeping sensation of frost in her chest that she knew was only in her head.

Why did I choose the library? Of all places, why did I decide to tell him about the festival in the library.

She clenched her fists, closed her eyes and breathed.

The girls slipped away, the empty fireplace remained out of sight, but as she focused on her inhalation the icy sensation left. She smelled parchment and dust, felt the warmth of light streaming in from the nearby window, and let herself remember years of pulling books from the shelves written in various languages and staring at pictures before she could read them herself. The memories of her youngest days came clearer now that she was free to recall them.

I loved it here once.

She felt him enter her space.

Despite the bulk of him she hadn’t heard him approach, but she could feel the tension in her body release when he surreptitiously slid into the space at her left side, putting more space between her and the fireplace, bumping his hand into hers casually.

She experimentally opened her palm, slowly uncurling her fingers, and felt the last of the unease roll out of her muscles when he slipped his hand over hers, palm to palm. He wasn’t holding her hand, his fingers barely brushing hers, but she found it comforting.

She could hardly call herself knowledgeable about affection, but she was learning that this was Kristoff’s way of showing it. They hadn’t said anything about love. It didn’t make sense to yet, they were intimate strangers, they were a paradox, but where he couldn’t say love he showed it.

She wondered when she’d be able to show him in return. It had been so easy to pretend the night before. She wanted to be able to open up to him more, but every time she wanted to the what ifs got in the way.

You need to stop doubting yourself.

But a lack of self-doubt, her reckless willingness to believe in the best of people and that she deserved a happy ending had almost ruined everything once. She was afraid it risk it again.

“Want me to come back in a bit?”

His voice was low, soft. He could already read her so well, but he was still working out how to react to her feelings. She wondered how he could be so understanding of her needs after spending so many years alone. She had a hard enough time understanding how she felt lately let alone comprehending how others did. Even as empathetic as she was, she felt like she was always missing the cues that he was seemingly catching without a second glance.

She slipped her fingers between his, moving slowly and focusing on the secure feeling it gave her to have his hand locked against hers by the connection.

“No, I’m sorry, I was just thinking.”

She opened her eyes and saw the concern in his gaze when she met his eye. It made her feel simultaneously guilty and vindicated, like his understanding that there was something wrong justified her feelings. She did feel bad for making him worry about her though. She didn’t want him to go anywhere just because she was battling with herself.

After a few moments of quiet, he spoke, “Kai filled me in on the way over. A festival?”

She sighed and nodded, glad that she wasn’t the first to tell him about it. She wasn’t sure that she’d be able to express the positives about such a thing when she was already so focused on the negatives.

He didn’t look particularly upset about the event, which surprised her. She recalled how he’d been in front of the crowd at their wedding, stiff and uncomfortable. She didn’t really want to put him in that situation again, but he didn’t seem to share the same opinion.

“Yes.  There was a council decision that we should do something for the people at large because most of them couldn’t attend the wedding. They’re curious about us.”

Kristoff nodded. He seemed relaxed and at least accepting if not a bit interested about the matter.

“It makes sense. It’s been a long time since there’s been a real festival. Most times someone will put on something for the holidays, but the big festivals haven’t gone on in years. I can only just barely remember what they were like when I was a kid.”

That’s because they died with my parents.

It felt strange to think of it, that there hadn’t been festivals in years. Even before her parents had passed away, the events had been a shadow of what they were when she was young. She wished she had a better memory of them now, how the festivals used to be, how her parents used to greet the people and dance. It was mostly a blank, interjected with what she’d been told about sweets and dancing and music by others. She supposed it was normal to not remember much from her toddler years, but she longed to know what it would be like, if only to know what to be prepared for.

Kristoff would remember a little more than she would, but he wasn’t that much older than her really. She wondered if the trolls had their own festivals and celebrations and whether he’d tell her about them if she asked.

It was still strange for her to think about sometimes. That her husband was raised by the very trolls that had locked away her memories, that under different circumstances they may have met as children and that it could have changed everything if she had.

She didn’t know what it would have done in the long run. She didn’t know if they’d have been happier if their stories had played out differently, but as he held her hand, she knew that she wouldn’t want to turn back the clock even if she could. As messed up as everything was, she wasn’t alone, and his willingness to stand there with her, to try for her, was more than she’d ever had with anyone.

“Is it what you want?” he asked, seeming to take her dour expression as an indication that she didn’t want the party.

All I wanted for years was a celebration, people, music, and dancing. I wanted any of it. I wanted all of it.

“I… they didn’t ask…”

She shook her head for a moment, then looked at him apologetically, squeezing his hand a bit when she saw the furrow of his brow and the downturn of his mouth. She felt like she shouldn’t be worrying him, but she also liked that he seemed concerned. It was nice to know that someone cared whether she wanted something instead of just assuming.

“What I mean to say is, it doesn’t really matter if I want it or not, but I think I do. My sister was really excited to give us this because our wedding wasn’t…” she trailed off, knowing that he understood.

“She wants it to be a big thing for us even though she doesn’t even like big events. It’s sweet and I think it will really improve public perception of the crown, but I just don’t want it to be overwhelming for you. I imagine there will be a lot of eyes on us.”

His expression softened then. There was an understanding in his eyes and something else there that made her feel warm.

“As long as I don’t have to wear a suit like they crammed me in at the wedding I’ll be fine. Let them look, my eyes will be on you.”

She felt herself flushing bright red, and she was certain she was outshining her hair.

He said things like that in such a matter-of-fact tone that it was proving to consistently catch her off guard. There was no art to the way he said the words, no intent to woo or win her over. It was just the truth in his mind. She’d have his attention, even if all eyes were on him.

She needed to change the subject, averting her gaze from the intensity with which he was meeting her eye. She wondered if being with him would always be like this, butterflies in her stomach and the sensation of being wanted overwhelming her thoughts and senses. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be happy again if it was just temporary, a “honeymoon phase”, but there was a small hopeful part of her that said that as they got to know each other his affections wouldn’t wane or remain stagnant but instead that they would grow.

How wonderful it would be to be loved. How wonderful it would be to love.

She’d never felt anything so gratifying as being at his side, knowing that he wasn’t going anywhere.

She was trying to tame her flush with a deep inhalation and exhalation, feeling his eyes on her and imagining the smile on his face that she couldn’t bring herself to look at.

“So, how was your meeting with the tailor?”

He made a pained sound, almost like a man dying.

She, for her part, let out a snort, sending them both into laughter.

It felt good to laugh in the room. It was like they were sweeping the cold from the corners.

I could love it here again.

***

Somewhere in the back of his mind Kristoff knew that he was entirely throwing off Kai’s plans for the day. The suit fitting had been just the first in a long list of tasks that had been set for the day. He was supposed to learn about peerage and how to greet royals, and about a thousand other bits and pieces of manners that Kai had decided he needed to learn as soon as possible.

Kristoff appreciated his assistance, and he did feel vaguely guilty for requesting the help and then being unavailable to actually receive it, but how could he go learn about salad forks and posture when Anna was pouring him a cup of tea and asking him excitedly what he remembered about festivals when he was young.

“I was so little when they stopped. I know now that we did need to close the gates for Elsa, but I just feel like we missed out on so much and that the people would have understood if they were just told… I mean…”

He listened intently to the way she described childhood years in the castle, not knowing why the gates were closed and not knowing why her sister never wanted to see her. It made him sad to think about when he’d never felt pushed away by his own family.

“So, do you remember what the food was like? I know you were only eight, but was there chocolates?”

He smiled, unable to help himself when she was so ecstatic about the possibility of him recalling anything at all about the only festival he remembered before the castle gates closed. It had been the summer solstice festival, before he ran away from the orphanage. He recalled it somewhat if only because it was one of the few bright spots he’d had before meeting Sven and then the trolls.

“I think there was. There were a lot of little cakes and things. We each got to have one and then we got to play a game, but I don’t remember what it was. Something with stones and chalk lines. I mostly remember watching the women dance. They had these bright ribbons in their hair and they were skipping around the maypole so everything was just fluttering and colorful. I kept wondering if one of them was my mom, and if maybe I stood close enough to the front of the crowd…”

He trailed off, then started again, “Anyway, I think some of the cakes had chocolate in them but mine didn’t. Mine had custard and I think it was the first time I had it because I remember being surprised by it.”

She had been writing down little things here and there in pretty script on a piece of paper. The things she wanted for the festival, the things he mentioned. He noticed that she’d stopped though.

“You were looking for your mom?”

He sighed, kicking himself a bit for bringing it up as he described the memory. He shouldn’t have said anything about it.

“I didn’t know what had happened back then… so I just assumed she lived in Arendelle and had misplaced me and that once she saw me she’d take me from the orphanage and I’d live with her. I didn’t even know what she looked like… I still don’t.”

He felt the silence grow around them, an uneasy sort of taunt energy that he hadn’t experienced since their wedding night, when she’d assumed and he’d not been sure what to say.

There’s going to be more of this. It’s not going to be easy all the time.

“You can ask.”

He looked at her then, saw the way her eyes were on the floor, anywhere but on him. He understood in a way. It was awkward to ask. Few people ever had except when he’d been very young. The answer had to be sad. Court order or death or abandonment were the popular choices, otherwise. There was never another reason for a child to be without his mother.

“What happened to her?”

He shrugged.

“I don’t have all the details. I thought for a long time that I’d just gotten lost or something, but not too long after the festival I found out that she had died in childbirth. That was the day I left the orphanage. She was Sami. I guess my dad was from Arendelle, a harvester who died not long before I was born. He didn’t have any family, hers was too far away to contact or find I suppose. It doesn’t matter now anyway; I had a good childhood.”

Anna was quiet at his side. She was looking down at her hands now, they were folded in her lap awkwardly and really he wanted to reach out and hold them.

What’s stopping you?

He moved slowly, slipping a hand into her line of sight before covering her hands with it. Normally he waited for her to make the first move anytime they touched, but he was realizing that she was the sort of person who liked physical contact when she was upset or nervous, and he could provide that for her. He’d gladly give her all the gentle touches in the world if it meant she’d feel safe.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, “losing your parents is hard.”

She would know.

He pressed against her hands gently and when she responded by turning her hand and lacing her fingers through his, he felt her relax a bit.

“I didn’t really know them. I was in the orphanage from the time I was born until I was eight. I started working with the harvesters for a while and then I found my family. You know I found them by following you, right?”

He couldn’t remember if he’d already told her that. If she knew that she was the reason he’d found his family.

“I know that the idea that all of this was destined to happen is kind of… strange to wrap your head around if you weren’t raised the way I was,” he said, “but it brings me some comfort to know that even the bad things that have happened might have some good come from them in the end.”

She was quiet for a little while, but when she squeezed his hand he understood that it meant she was okay.

“Did the trolls have festivals,” she asked after a little while.

He grinned.

“About a thousand.”

***

He described it all to her in vivid detail. She’d never heard Kristoff really tell a story before, but when he described the ceremonies and events that the trolls had every year, celebrating the seasons and weddings and births, it was magical. She could imagine herself there, watching it all.

“And when you turn eighteen… or well it was eighteen for me because humans have a shorter lifespan, but anyway, when you come of age there’s a big birthday party for you. Normally birthdays aren’t a big deal because the trolls have thousands of them, but this one is.”

She nodded, rapt with attention, her tea going cold along with his on the side table.

“So my parents both presented me to the family, like they had when they adopted me. You would have laughed if you saw how they dressed me, I had a cape made out of moss and a crown of twigs because that’s the tradition and let me tell you it looks better on the trolls than it did on me. But then everyone came forward and said something about me, even the kids and Sven which is exactly as comical as you’re probably imagining it in your head.”

“What sort of things did they say?”

She didn’t mean to interrupt, but she was genuinely curious.

He smiled and shook his head, looking a bit bashful, “The sort of stuff they show you every day, but don’t say out loud.”

She thought she could imagine.

I’ve been thinking that you’re kind since I met you, but I don’t say it.

I’ve been trying to show you I care about you, but the words don’t come.

“Then everyone sits together in a giant circle and eats dinner. My mother sang a song with my sisters and aunts and… well, someday when you’re comfortable, you’ll have to hear them sing. I know I’m biased, but it’s beautiful.”

Anna couldn’t help but feel a little wistful at the idea of it. She’d loved music as a child. She remembered fondly the days she and her mother would sit in front of the fire and sing folksongs together. She remembered the days her father’s tenor would add to the mix and even more far off, she could recall her sister’s voice mingling in the sound as well.

She wondered if maybe she’d sing to her own children someday, and then with a flush, wondered what her husband sounded like when he sang.

“I’d like that… then what happened?”

He laughed warmly at her enthusiasm.

“Then they gave me my crystals. I earned some when I was young… you earn them as you learn and grow, they’re…” he trailed off for a moment, thinking.

“They’re connected to the magic in the world. It probably sounds strange, but given what Elsa can do I’m sure you can understand. It’s strange, but the trolls can feel the magic all around them, it’s in their blood, and the crystals can help them in feeling it more strongly and in shaping it. I don’t have that connection, but the crystals are part of the culture so they gave them to me. Sometimes when I’m lucky and the energy is there I can get them to react the way they should. The trolls can use them to start fires and change the direction of streams and… it’s amazing. Mostly I can just get them to glow sometimes.”

Anna felt a small thrill in the pit of her stomach that she wasn’t sure whether she should tamp down or not.

Because she’d seen his crystals. She’d touched them because he’d given her license to snoop through his things. She had still felt a little bad about the snooping though. She wondered if he’d be annoyed if she mentioned it.

She tried to read him. His body was relaxed at her side, his smile soft and his brown eyes were gazing upon her face with a warmth that made her feel like they’d known each other for months or years instead of a week.

It’s worth the risk. It’s worth it to open up to him. Has he hurt you for trying yet?

“I made the pink one glow,” she blurted, unable to help herself.

His brow furrowed, then he looked thoughtful.

“I’m sorry,” she added, not sure how to take his reaction, “I probably shouldn’t have snooped, but when we were at your cabin you told me I could look at your things while you were gone and I thought they were pretty and…”

She didn’t have anything else to say for herself. She held her breath, hoping that he wasn’t upset with her, hoping that at any moment he’d be amused by the fact that she was able to get one to glow without even knowing about them or their meaning.

“Pink?”

He asked it so quietly she almost didn’t realize he was asking her a question.

“Pink,” she answered, trying to keep the nervousness out of her voice as she said it.

The confusion left his face, and when he met her eye again there was an intensity there that Anna couldn’t understand. His eyes held her gaze for a moment, before quickly, almost so rapidly that she wouldn’t have noticed, shifting to her lips and back again.

She hadn’t noticed how close they’d gotten on the settee, but now with him leaning even further into her space, she could feel his breath, she could see the stubble barely peeking up on his cheek, she could see him lick his lips.

She swallowed, then parted her own.

It would be so simple.

She’d only have to lean forward, just a little.

She could feel her heart racing in her chest. Her eyelids fluttered closed, and then she felt him draw closer.

This is it.

She remembered the kiss they’d shared at their wedding, she remembered how it felt when he’d pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Those had been chaste, one necessary for ceremony, the other to soothe, but a kiss now… it would mean something.

She tried not to feel disappointed when it never came, when instead his hand slipped from hers and went to her waist, when his forehead tipped against hers.

It’s too soon.

He wants to, but it’s too soon.

She tried to understand. Logically she knew it was true, and even the pain she’d suffered from another almost kiss in this place couldn’t challenge the warmth of his touch and the gentle way he spoke next.

“That’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard.”

She felt an ache in her chest, almost as pleasant as it was new.

It means something.

She’d almost known it when she’d touched the gem, but now the confirmation in his words, the weight to them and the intimacy of their foreheads together, left her no room for doubt.

He pulled her into an embrace, their foreheads parting but his arms wrapping around her comfortingly, leaving her head to rest against his shoulder.

She almost opened her mouth to ask him what it meant, but then she closed it, letting herself have this moment with him.

I trust him.

He’ll tell me in his own time.

[melzula]

Sozin’s Comet

pairing: Zuko x Princess!reader

warnings: angst, mentions of injuries, mentions of burn wounds

request: Could you write a Fire Lilies blurb about Zuko's and Princess! Reader's fight against Azula during Sozin's Comet?

~ part of the fire lilies series ~

The torrid breeze was uncomfortably hot and dry against your skin as you sat on the back of Appa’s saddle and stared out into the reddened skies. Sozin’s comet was beautiful, but you couldn’t help the sense of sadness you felt knowing that something so gorgeous would be used for such selfish, sinister intentions. The royal palace was rapidly approaching, your nerves beginning to show as you fidgeted with the shark tooth hanging from your neck, and it was with one final glance at the comet soaring through the sky that you swallowed down your fears and worries. Everything you’d gone through, the heartache you’d endured, the training you’d done, all of it had led you to this moment in time, and there was no doubt in mind that you were ready for the fight.

Zuko sits at the reigns, guiding Appa through the skies and mentally preparing for the fight against his sister. You haven’t spoken much since your departure from the White Lotus campgrounds, but he knows it’s due to your need to think and meditate before going into such an important battle. A lot has happened for you over the last twenty four hours, and the strength you posses amazes Zuko to no end and encourages him to push through. The banished Prince hadn’t planned to fight for the throne nor become the Fire Lord so soon, but he acknowledged the fact that it was the only way the two of you would ever be able live a long, happy life together. Zuko would restore balance with your help as well as the rest of the Gaang, and then this war could finally be over.

Down below Azula’s coronation takes place, her head bowed low as she prepares to take on the headpiece traditionally worn by the Fire Lord. However, the Fire sage freezes uneasily at the sight of your fast approaching trio, and with Appa’s loud bellow Azula’s frenzied eyes look up to see the three of you now standing before her.

“Sorry, but you’re not going to become Fire Lord today,” Zuko states firmly. “I am.”

“You’re hilarious,” Azula replies with mock laughter.

“And you’re going down,” Katara retorts firmly. Azula’s eyes shift from your friend to you, her lips curling into a snide smile at the sight of your solemn features. You should be used to her maliciousness by now, but there’s something in the way that her eyes seem to glint with excitement at the prospect of fighting you that has you taking a step backward.

“I expected better from you, Princess,” she coos mockingly, lips curling into a sneer.

“Enough is enough, Azula. You’ve been a bully all your life and that ends now.”

“Such a sweet sentiment,” she utters sarcastically before rising from her position on the ground. “You want to be Fire Lord, Zuzu? Fine, let’s settle this. Just you and me, brother, the showdown that was always meant to be— Agni Kai!”

You expect Zuko to deny her challenge, to call her crazy and demand another option, but to your surprise he replies with a scowl, “You’re on.”

“Zuko,” you chide gently, “she’s just trying to trick you, you can’t do this. Don’t fall for it.”

“I know what I’m doing. I can take her.”

“But even you admitted to your uncle that you would need help facing Azula,” Katara argues, equally disturbed at the idea of an Agni Kai between the two siblings.

“There’s something off about her,” Zuko notes. “I can’t explain it, but she’s slipping. And this way, no one else has to get hurt.”

His golden eyes meet your own in an apologetic stare, his warm hands coming up to cup your cheeks and pull your face closer to his own so that he may gift you with a comforting kunik. Your anxiety is growing by the second, but the way in which he holds you so close and secure is enough to quell your fears for now.

“It’s going to be alright,” he soothes gently. “I promise.”

“I can’t lose anyone else,” you whisper, a single tear sliding down your cheek that Zuko is quick to wipe away.

“And you won’t.”

“Oh, enough already,” Azula snarls harshly. “Are you going to face me or not?”

With one final kiss to the forehead, Zuko releases you before taking his position across the courtyard from his sister. You stand on the sidelines with Katara, her hand held tightly in your own as you prepare to watch the match about to take place.

“It’s going to be okay,” Katara comforts. “Zuko knows what he’s doing.”

“I hope you’re right...”

“I’m sorry it has to end this way, brother,” Azula says with a smirk while unceremoniously removing her robe and tossing it to the ground.

“No, you’re not,” Zuko utters solemnly, and with a smirk Azula shoots the first blast of fire— the Agni Kai has begun.

Brilliant blasts of blue and red light up the courtyard as Zuko and Azula battle. Both fight with an intensity and ferocity like you’ve never seen before, the rooftops that surround them are on fire, but neither sibling seems to let up. Both are equally matched and filled with determination to win, but a blast that Azula narrowly manages to miss has her eyes widening in consternation. Her brows furrow with rage before she charges at Zuko, but a spiraling kick that vaguely reminds you of a move you’d seen previously performed by Aang sends Azula flying through the air until she tumbles to a stop. Her hair hangs wildly from her face as she rises back to her feet, appearance disheveled as she heaves and eyes burning with hatred for the brother she had deemed weaker than her the moment she learned what weakness was.

“No lightning today?” Zuko questions almost tauntingly. “What’s the matter, afraid I’ll redirect it?”

“What is he doing??” You utter in quiet disbelief. You can feel your nerves beginning to return at the deranged look on Azula’s features, and before you even realize your feet are moving you find yourself rushing towards the scene with Katara.

“Oh, I’ll show you lightning!”

Thunder booms from the sky as Azula begins to conjure the blue light, fingertips swirling in grand circular movements as she harnesses its power and readies the lightning to strike. From across the way Zuko stands in ready position; his shoulders are relaxed and he takes a small breath as he prepares himself to deflect her attack.

Everything seems to move in slow motion once Azula’s crazed eyes leave her brother and focus on your figure. Your features are sullen and fretful as you watch on, completely defenseless and unsuspecting of an attack. If it hadn’t been for you Zuko never would have become such a disappointment to the family. If it weren’t for you he never would have left to join your little group. If it weren’t for you Azula would have been crowned Fire Lord by now with Mai and Ty Lee still at her side. For some reason beyond her comprehension Zuko loved you, and it seemed it was up to her to teach the both of you a lesson. There was no room for weakness when it came to winning, and she’d make sure Zuko learned this good and well.

With a smirk and a sudden, fluid motion of her fingertips Azula’s blast of lightening flies straight towards you and Katara. Your body freezes in place and your first instinct is to shield her from the attack. Zuko’s eyes widen in horror as he realizes the danger you’re in, that that your life is mere seconds away from ending at the hands of his sister.

“No!” He shouts desperately, and a horrified shriek falls from your lips as the lightning strikes Zuko right in the chest. His body crumples to the floor, convulsing as the shocks of electricity course through him, and though Katara attempts to hold you back she can’t stop you from sprinting towards him.

“Zuko!” You cry out, vision blurry with tears as you rush towards his side only to suddenly be knocked off of your feet by the blast of fire you narrowly manage to avoid. Azula’s maniacal laughter sends chills down your spine as you scramble back onto your feet and skillfully avoid the relentless balls of fire she hurdles at you.

“You were never good enough for my brother!” She sneers. “You made him weak!”

“I never needed your approval,” you glower. With the motion of a roundhouse kick you guide the nearby water out from the stream through the use of your foot and send shards of ice hurtling towards Azula. She doges most of them, but one mages to rip through her sleeve and nick the skin of her bicep. She growls, golden irises aflame with anger and resentment, and just as she raises her hands to attack Katara is on the defensive.

“Go, I’ve got your back!” She calls to you, and you don’t waste another minute before rushing back to Zuko’s side. Falling to your knees beside his barely conscious body, you use your strength to flip him onto his backslide so that you have access to his wound. His robes are tattered and a gnarly scar is already beginning to settle against his skin. There isn’t much time.

You gather water from the air, a feat that’s much more difficult than usual considering how dry the atmosphere is but you manage, and with your powers at the ready you carefully rest your hands on Zuko’s chest and begin the healing process.

“Don’t worry,” you murmur quietly, tears welling in your eyes, “you’re going to be okay.”

A loud crash pulls your attention away from Zuko, and before you have time to react a gale of fire comes launching straight towards you. With wide eyes and a panicked gasp you attempt to use the water in your hands to create a shield of ice to block the attack, but your reflexes are too slow and the shield isn’t thick enough, and with a deafening crack the ice shatters and leaves you vulnerable to the flames.

The pained yelp that leaves you the moment the flames come into contact with your skin is gut wrenching for Katara who lies a few feet away in the rubble. Your first instinct was to hide behind your hands, and though the ice had lessened the force of the blast it hadn’t stopped the damage you’d endured. Your flesh is aflame and the pain is unbearable, tears welling in your eyes as you scramble to heal them, but bending only seems to worsen the ache.

“You’re nothing without your bending,” Azula cackles before returning her attention to your fellow water bender who is now back on her feet and rushing to hide behind one of the pillars. “Come back here, peasant!”

With Azula distracted you rush to the canal and stick your hands into the cool, running water. Anguished sobs fall past your lips as you push through the pain. You need to be able to bend so that you can protect yourself against another attack and, more importantly, so you can heal Zuko. You work so that burns become tolerable, not worrying just yet about completely healing them, and when you feel that you’re ready you remove your hands from the water and hurry back to Zuko’s aid.

His chest rises and falls slowly, and with the use of the water from the fountain as well as from your own tears you rest your hands upon his wound and begin to heal him. Uncomfortable tingles shoot through your palms and bite at your fingertips but you ignore it, holding back the tears and the whimper that crawls through your throat and instead focusing your energy on Zuko. Katara is suddenly at your side, and as she kneels down beside you with anxious anticipation in her eyes Zuko finally begins to wake.

“Oh, Zuko!” You exclaim tearfully, your whole body seeming to sigh in relief as he gives you the tiniest smile he can muster.

“Hello, Princess,” he utters hoarsely while Katara helps you get him back on his feet. His features soften at the sight of your hands as he carefully takes them in his own and assesses the damage. You’ll be lucky if you make it out of this without any nerve damage, and it’s likely that you’re going to carry permanent scars on your skin for the rest of your life. “Your hands...”

“Saving you was more important than healing myself,” you assure him with a faint smile. “Besides, now we’re a matching set.”

Your attempt to make a joke in the midst of such a solemn moment causes Zuko to crack the tiniest of smiles, but it fades at the sight of Azula. Chained to the sewer grate, the Princess thrashes desperately against her restraints in an attempt to free herself. Flames shoot from her mouth and as the reality of her situation finally starts to sink in she begins to cry. Her sobs are heartbreaking and full of agony, and despite your victory there is no celebrating. Azula was the product of manipulation and abuse, and despite all the horrible things she’d done to you and your friends you truly felt sorry for her.

Zuko guides you away from the scene and towards the palace, his arm tenderly wrapped around your waist and his eyes never once leaving your hands.

“Let’s get you bandaged up,” he suggests comfortingly.

“And then what?” You ask quietly only for him to exchange an uneasy glance with Katara. His eyes meet yours then, and though they are comforting they are also filled with the slightest hint of doubt.

“We wait and see if Aang finished the job.”

| tags: @rainteslerrrr @oddment-niwit-blubber-tweak @thebluelcdy @royahllty @the-firebender-girl @coldlilheart @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @knaite-solo @zukh03s @titaniafire @dekahg @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @lozzybowe @izzieserra @melacholy @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @thirstyforsometea @ihaveaproblem98 @brown-eyed-thang @djskfkdkkf @xapham @yeetletzgetitjae @misnmatchedsox @chewymoustachio @that-bucket-hat-gal |

[hisoknen]

undelivered || overhaul

warnings: noncon, degradation, humiliation, armless kai, femdom? wc: 3.5k

a/n: this is a part of the bnhaerm pen pal collab! you can find the master list here!!! make sure to check out everyone else’s take on this prompt! it was very open ended and there are so many wonderful minds!! Thank you to @iwvs-on-ao3 @dee-madwriter @whoredoroki for thirsting this beautiful man, helping with concepts flesh out the concept and and fueling the filth a long the way!

summary: The first time you’d encountered Kai, you were being shown around the ward you’d be overseeing for the next sixth months. You’d heard many tales about the dangerous man, but the stories didn’t quite match up to the vacant glossed over eyes staring back at you. The white uniform hung off of his small frame, sleeves flimsy and not filled out, flapping about with each of his movements.

"You won't have to worry much about him, I heard his quirk relies on him having arms, and he's fresh out of those." The guard accompanying you laughed and your eyes immediately darted down to follow his gaze. It made a bit more sense now why he wasn't in higher security. The man left your side, stopping at the door.

"Make sure you gimme a ring if you need me, these walls." he tapped at the glass, "Soundproof," You waved him off, unable to break your gaze from the melancholic man lying lifelessly on the cot in front of you.

Kai's eyes were immediately drawn to the uniform that was snuggly wrapped around your body, it had his cock twitching. It had been months since he'd seen a woman, let alone a woman as beautiful as you. His last guard was a burly older man who would treat him with haste and heavy hands. But you. You looked at him like he was a person without fear, hatred or sympathy. 

He wasn't in the regular population or high-security section of Tartarus. You were a guard in the "Specialized Unit," an area where criminals with different disabilities and more specific needs were placed. 

You would bathe, feed, and change the prisoners, something he awaited every day. You were the only guard who would wear gloves while touching him. You would ask him questions about his life before Tartarus and what landed him here. 

While you would have loved spending your days wrapped up in conversation with the beautiful man, you had a job to attend.

The longer you were away from him, the more he craved your presence in any capacity. He tried to recall your touch on his skin, the smell of your perfume. He knew you were only doing your job. But he swore that sometimes, it felt as though you took longer than necessary. 

That your touches would linger on his body, taking their time to map out the divots in his skin, washing delicately, and making sure to keep your filth away from him. You would wear a full gown, paired with gloves, and he couldn’t put together why you were so considerate toward his requests while the others would spit at him for the mere mention of it. 

He couldn’t be without you. You were quirkless, and while you were still dirty, it made you feel less disgusting to be around than others. The thought of you being around the other inmates for too long had his skin crawling. 

What if you were touching those vermin. Their vile flesh dirtying your hands. Did you wear gloves with them? Did you touch their bodies the same way you touched his? He had to figure out a way to keep you out of their reach.

— 

You were very confused, to say the least when he first mentioned that he wanted to dictate letters for you to write. You understood the circumstances, of course, but you were still curious as to who he wanted to write. The dictation slowly became part of your daily routine. 

Although he had yet to receive any letters back, he continued sending them out. He would call for your assistance as many as five times a day, writing letters to nameless people. 

Did he have a girlfriend? A wife? Did he want to write to his father or a member of his gang? The thought of it being one of the first two admittedly made your blood boil.

The fact that no one had written back yet had you writing with a heavy heart. Kai's messages were very personal, recounting his daily thoughts about them, how he hoped they were doing well and staying healthy. 

How he missed the feeling of their touch and how he imagined the feeling of their lips against his own, all very soft intimate recollections of his time before here. 

You would sometimes indulge your curiosity and ask him more questions. You knew it was unprofessional, but you wanted to learn more about his life. But when it came to this person in particular, he always fell silent. 

While you wouldn’t dare admit it to him or anyone else. You found the man quite endearing. His mysophobia piqued your interest, and the way he would squirm under your touch while you bathed him made your pussy clench. 

You always made sure to make him feel at ease, scrubbing in and out in front of him, so he knew that you weren’t there to harm him. 

The way his eyebrows pulled together when your gloved hands quickly washed his cock, made your stomach flutter. You knew better than to leave too many lingering touches when you washed him. 

But you couldn’t deny that you would sometimes imagine how delightful the thought of him stretching you out was when you left for the day. His pretty face contorting at the feeling of your cum dripping onto his skin. He would find it disgusting but for some reason, that made your cunt pulse even more.

— 

Walking down the corridor notebook and chair in hand, you made your way into his cell. You closed the door behind you, looking up to find him waiting for you. 

"Thought you forgot about me." He smiled, sitting on his cot, propping his body up against the wall. You quickly sat the chair across from him, pen in hand. 

"Who's this one addressed to Kai?" You straighten up, ready to begin. 

"Leave it blank, for now. They'll know it's for them. It's being sent their way after all." He shifted his body so that he was staring at you. 

"I'm ready when you are," you glanced up at him.

“I thought about you again today,” you grip your pen tightly in your hands as you write. Fuck this person to absolute hell. Day after day, he wrote to this person, telling them how much he craved their presence. 

“I can’t stop thinking about how badly I want to feel your tight little cunt, wrapped around my cock,” the pen almost dropped from your hands at his words. You close your mouth, clearing your throat. He’s never once gone past mentioning innocent touches and kisses before.

“Is something wrong?” he spoke in a low voice. 

“No, nothing, sorry I was just uh... Could you say that again? I missed it, sorry.” You stammer, refusing to look up and make eye contact with him. You cross your legs at an attempt of any friction to quell the ache building in your core. 

“Sure,” he continues in a low, seductive tone, “I thought about you again today, I can’t stop thinking about how badly.” You swallow thickly. “I want to feel your tight little cunt, wrapped around my cock. Was that better, Y/n?” You can hear a mocking tone take over his voice. 

“Yeah, continue,” you shift in your seat, trying to calm your pounding heart. 

“I miss the feeling of your hand tracing up and down my cock. I think about your mouth wrapped around it, feeling your throat tighten around me.” Moving your pen with haste, you try to finish this session as quickly as possible, already feeling your arousal soaking through your panties. 

“I can’t wait until I get to taste your pussy and have my cock buried deep inside your little cunt, to have my cum dripping out of your filthy little pussy.”

“Is that all?” You try to say in an even voice, cringing at the squeak that comes out. 

“For today, yes,” you look up and see a cocky smile form at his lips. “Thank you.” You rush out the door, closing it gently before running to the bathroom to splash your face with cold water. 

Did he really want to cum inside of this woman? You thought he was germ averse. Was she that special? 

Much to your horror and pleasure, this wasn’t the last of the letters you wrote for him. After that day, he continued spewing lewd messages to the unknown woman. 

Each time you leave his cell, he couldn’t help but think back to the filthy things he said to you, the little gasps you tried to hide, and the way your body writhed in the chair. All movements that you had to have thought you were hiding very well. 

He saw the way you rubbed your thighs together, the hitch in your breath as you scribbled his words down onto the paper, the way you rushed out of the room. How nervous you were when it came to his showers, speeding up the process, your words scattered and high pitched. 

He would do anything to have that mouth screaming his name.

You would leave each time in haste, running to the bathroom to touch yourself, reading the letters over and over again. You couldn’t help but grow to resent the recipient of the letters. 

Going as far as to take pictures of the letters before sending them off, sometimes taking particularly erotic ones back home to read later. Immortalizing his words, reading them over and over while you were alone. Burning into your memory, the sound of his voice as he spoke them.

—

You'd been alerted upon entering the facility that you had mail waiting for you. You glance through the bag, sorting the mail before heading out to see Kai. There was the usual, disgusting fan mail you had to sift through. 

He had yet to receive anything you could take to him. His fans were filthy. Sending soiled underwear and letters kissed with lipstick. There was something at the bottom that piqued your interest though. 

Your pussy was still throbbing from the assault it endured last night, and you were always aching for more. You couldn't get his voice out of your head for hours, his words playing on repeat every time you tried to close your eyes. Each step you took sent a jolt of pleasure to your core as you slowly approached his cell.

"Are you ready, Y/n?" Kai asks as you closed the door. You take a deep breath gazing at the man in front of you silently. 

"Hello, darling. I hope all has been well." The way his words came together flowed like honey and melted chocolate syrup being poured on your skin. You could almost hear the way his tongue would flick against his teeth as he enunciated every single word. 

“I thought about you again last night. After you finished riding my cock, you placed that vile little cunt of yours on my lips for me to devour. Grinding yourself onto my mouth while I explored your tight little hole with my tongue. I woke up with a start, but now I have the image ingrained in my mind. I hope you can come to visit me soon.” 

Your pussy clenches as you finish the last sentence. “Is that all?” You close the notebook glancing up at him. 

“That should be it for now,” he nods. You could see the smug look in his eyes. 

“Hey Kai,” your mind swam in the pool of his words, you were intoxicated. You walked over to his bed, placing your knee between his legs. The proximity made his skin crawl, his head turning to the side immediately. Grabbing his chin, roughly you pull him back to face you. 

“It’s rude to look away when someone is talking to you. Someone should have taught you that,” you tsk quirking your head to the side. He’s been torturing you for weeks, leaving you soaking wet full of shame each time you left him.

“See Kai, I have this theory,” you pull your face away from him. “My theory is that you’re only writing these letters to rile me up.” You push his pathetically weak body down onto the bed. The look of confusion that takes over his face, eyebrows pulling inward, has you licking your lips. 

“See, I think,” you start trailing your hands down his chest. His body immediately flinches, as he makes a weak attempt to prop his stumps up to escape your touch. “Ah ah ah, I’m not finished,” you push him down with more force, climbing over him and placing your legs on either side of his body. 

"I could be wrong. There really could be this mysterious woman out there." You bring one of your hands to rest on his chest. "But that wouldn't explain all of the letters we've gotten, mailed back to the sender." You can’t help but let out a grin at his panicked face.

"Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but," you reach your hands behind him, reaching for his hardened cock, "This here makes me think that I might be onto something." You let out a soft giggle, relishing in the look that he gives you.

"Get off of me Y/n I swe-" You squeeze his length, cutting his sentence short. 

"What are you gonna do, Overhaul?" You look down at him, with a smile on your face. "Slap me? Push me away?" A laugh made it's way past your lips. "You can't do anything to me the way you are now, you could spit on my face, but it wouldn't do much," you shrug, pulling his cock from the confines of his uniform.

“And these walls? Soundproof.” You move your gloved hand to take him into your palms, moaning at the way he fills up space. Your eyes are glued to his feeble attempts to move. “Something tells me you’ve been waiting to do this, so why don’t you keep still for me, for just a little bit.” you scale down his body. 

“I brought something special to me today.” You pull a condom from your pocket, feeling his body visibly relax beneath you. “You know, I’m not evil,” you tear the foil and pump his cock a few times rolling the latex over him, easing yourself out of your pants. 

“I know you think I’m filthy. It doesn’t really bother me all that much at this point. I could put hand sanitizer in my pussy, and you would still refuse to let me ride you raw.” You can feel the vein on the underside of his cock prominent against your hand. 

His length twitches in your grasp, a bead of cum surfacing at the tip. The little whines he gives from above you make you all the more eager to hear know how he’ll sound buried deep inside of you. Your greedy cunt is aching to be filled as you hover over his cock, playfully flicking his tip against your clit. 

“You’ve been thinking about this for weeks, haven’t you? How tight my little pussy is? “How you imagine my cum dripping onto your cock?” You repeat the words back to him while you sink down. 

“Fuuck,” you moan, the stretch a mix of both pain and pleasure. “I’ve been thinking about it too. For weeks, you’ve been teasing me like this, Kai,” you move your hips against him gently. “How well your cock would fill me up, the sounds you’d make when I cum around you.” You begin to grind against him, catching your clit on his head. 

“Get off of me, you disgusting whore!” Anguish and hatred drench his words. You knew he was beyond furious, but the words only have you moving against him faster. 

“Say it again,” you groan, hands resting against his belly while he thrashes about underneath you. 

“I said get your putrid cunt off of me,” he spits at you. 

“Okay, okay, only because you asked nicely,” You slowly lift off of him. He looks down at you in horror as he sees you removing the condom from his cock. You sink back down onto him in one go, relishing in his choked breath. 

“You talked about this, too, remember? How you want to cum inside of me? How you wanted to feel my pussy.You told me all about how you would grind into your mattress and think about my tight little pussy spasming around you?” You look at him through lidded eyes, to find him flailing his sleeves about in a frenzy, realizing that the sounds before were from him choking on his own tears. 

“Filthy,” you could tell that he was trying with all of his might to get his words out, and you would have felt bad. If you didn’t feel him rutting back into you each time you moved. 

“Fuck,” you go still above him, “What would be better than this?” You ponder aloud, pulling yourself from his cock. 

You take a hold of his upper body and heave him onto the floor, he immediately recoils on contact. You pull his pants back up, the waist band catching on his engorged length forcing a welp from his lips. 

Moving to remove his shirt leaving his pale skin to rest against the filthy floor. His flesh begins to take on a light pink tone, little bumps becoming apparent on his skin, becoming more vibrant.

You hover your pussy over his mouth. 

“You looks so pretty like this, Kai.” You climb up his body, removing the gloves with your teeth, looking down as your cunt drips onto his lips. He's disgusted, horrified, beautiful, his cock is aching to be touched. 

He trusted you and you betrayed his trust, yet for some reason his brain was growing hazy, a combination of fear, disgust and arousal together. The horrific mix was also delicious. You sink onto his lips, his tongue hungrily lapping out to taste you.

"I almost thought you’d bite me," you muse, feeling his tongue explore your hole. You're going to infect him. You've already infected him. His brain is running in circles as he breathes in against you.

Your slimy filth-ridden pussy is going to infect him. He's crying, tears running down his face as he begs for you to press your disease-laden whore cunt against his mouth, to let him taste you, let him consume you. 

His thoughts are racing. Why was he asking you to put your filthy cunt to his lips? Why was he begging for you to do this to him? Why can't he stop his hips from seeking friction against his waistband?

You let him taste your filth. Gripping his hair while you ride his face, wiping the tears from his eyes as you praise him for tasting your disgusting cunt. His face is filled with hives, still begging for more. 

You ask him if he enjoys the taste, reminding him of all the vulgar words you wrote out for him. He's only able to nod up at you and sob, each hitch of his breath sending heat to your core. The feeling of his choppy breath-catching against your lips as he tries to breathe around you has you pushing against him further.

"If you love the filth that spews from that pretty little mouth of yours, you should love this too." He feels a nauseating euphoria overtaking his body as he laps at what your cunt will offer him. The thought of your slime running down his chin, making him sick, but he can't stop. You hear his strangled moan, his body going stiff below you. Looking back, you see a damp spot beginning to form on his pants. 

"That's no good," you go still above him, reaching down beneath him to pull out his weeping cock. You give it a soft tug, a string of insults being flung your way. 

"You came just from eating my foul cunt, Kai?" You take hold of his stump, feeling soft skin burn against your fingertips. 

"Pathetic," you shift so that your soaking cunt is pressed roughly against his limb. He looks up at you with confusion, and you see the pink bumps begin to appear over every surface of the skin you encounter. 

"Disgusting," he whimpers, voice cracking. You sink onto his spread out arm, pushing his head to the side so he can watch your movements. Dragging your hips back and forth at a brutal pace. Your lips, the look in his eyes, continually shifting between disgusted and aroused, tasted delicious. The pressure building in your stomach as you grip onto his hair it’s all too much.

"I'm, fuck," the waves of pleasure crash around you. Slowly you ease upon him, the mess of fluids covering his reddened skin. You lean down and give the raised skin on his check a soft peck, running your finger along his jaw. You turn your back on him, standing up to slip into your pants. 

Kai trembles on the cold concrete, skin puffy, heart racing and thick tears spilling down his cheeks as his hand finds his cock. He’s ashamed at what a whore you've made him out to be, it’s disgusting. But he can't help but crave your filth, running his hands along his length using his release to slick his movements. He wouldn't be able to cum without thinking about drowning in your slime and how filthy you have made his body.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Kai."

—

masterlist

[kurosakikai]

. xx4 . Truth Hurts

Find me on AO3 Find me on Ko-Fi Also available to yell at on Twitter

Kisuke wasn’t sure what he was expecting, when Ichigo had invited him to visit.

He did not expect to see Ichigo, up to his elbows in work, sleeves rolled up, fingers gently taking shrapnel out of someone’s arm. He also didn’t expect to see Yuzu-chan there, also helping her brother with tweezers.

“My goodness,” he says, and Ichigo flicks a glance up, nods at him. “Ichigo, what happened?”

“Accident,” Ichigo says bluntly. “You just missed Ishida - he took the worst hit and drove them to the hospital.” Kisuke nods understandingly. “You’ll have to give me half an hour - if you want to aid me, I won’t say no.”

Kisuke thinks about it. Knowing Ichigo, he knew how highly Ichigo regarded his clinic, and the offer was not made lightly.

“Let me put up my coat and hat. Do you happen to have spare socks and sneakers?” He asks, and Ichigo flashes him a relieved smile.

“Got a uniform for you, two doors down, has your name on it.”

Maaa. He wasn’t the only one who knew Ichigo well, it seemed, and he dutifully gets changed, helping out Ichigo as he takes care of his patients.

Thankfully, he’d come prepared with lollipops.

It’s a good two hours before they’re able to clean up, and Ichigo shoos him out so he can sanitize the place, Kisuke amiably cleaning up in the bathroom and getting changed back into his usual things, leaving them in the sanitation bin for Ichigo to ensure they were cleaned to the clinic’s stringent standards.

“Bit more than half an hour,” he teases, and Ichigo shrugs, not in the least embarrassed, using a soft cloth to polish his glasses as he gives Kisuke an arch look.

“Are you expecting me to apologize?” Ichigo says dryly, and Kisuke snorts.

“Heavens no. I’m simply saying, your timekeeping skills could be better, don’t you agree?” He chuckles, and after a moment, Ichigo gives an amused smile, content to accept the teasing.

“I suppose. Come along, I’ve got some new tea Yuzu brought. If I remember correctly, you do like spicy teas, right?” He asks, and Kisuke beams.

“I do! Such good memory,” he compliments, and Ichigo laughs. He sobers however, once the tea has been poured, and Kisuke is properly seated.

“I want your word that not one breath of this gets to Rukia.”

My, my. Straight to the point. Kisuke blinks, but the flat look Ichigo levels at the shopkeep makes him sigh, and nod despite his misgivings.

“I became the Godslayer a little before Kai was born,” Ichigo recalls quietly, fingers folded around his cup, his expression shuttered and flat. “I didn’t know, at the time, what my connection to him would become, that I would want to protect him so fiercely. I loved him, of course I did he was going to be my child, how could I do anything less?” Kisuke nods along - this fits Ichigo’s overprotective personality, he would agree with that.

“And then I saw him. Zangetsu had already affirmed his love for my little one, both halves, when they were separate spirits, but when I walked into that room...” His eyes go distant, and a soft smile curls his lips up. “Zangetsu loved my little boy on the spot, cooed over him and demanded to be allowed to keep him safe. He went so far as to beg me to put his sealed blade by Kai’s bedside before he was even old enough to crawl. I was fine with it, but Rukia… she lost it, at first. We had an argument, that leaving even a part hollow weapon nearby would hurt my son.” Ichigo gives a sarcastic smirk, and Kisuke winces.

“In the end, what happened?” He says tentatively, and Ichigo spreads his palms out.

“I won. In the end, I managed to get Orihime as godmother too, though Rukia fought for Kukaku.”

Having seen Kai as he was, and knowing how much Kukaku idolized her parent/big brother Kaien, Kisuke can’t hold back another grimace.

“I take it that ended well,” he says, takes a sip of his tea and shakes his head.

“The first of many arguments. Especially in regards to Kai’s… resemblance. I get it, I do,” Ichigo admits. “They look strikingly alike, and my son came to her after she’d nearly died in childbirth. I get that she was in shock. But naming him Kai only exacerbated the complication of his looks, and it’s not helped by the fact that she lets people call my son by a dead man’s name.” Ichigo’s chest heaves a bit, fury lining his expression. His expression becomes resigned as he admits, “There are some who try their best to not hold his legacy over Kai’s head, but...” His forced smile crumples.

“Who?” He asks gently, fingers wrapping around Ichigo’s hand.

“Isshin.”

… That’s even worse than I could have guessed.

And yet, that was possibly the only answer he should have thought of. Isshin had never mourned Kaien in the way Rukia and Kukaku or Ganju had. And the reason why was because he’d never known Kaien was dead.

Not until he’d taught Ichigo, but given Isshin’s… ah… preoccupation, he may not have learned about it even then. They’d been infrequently in contact once he and Masaki had married, and Kisuke, still raw and in pain, had been unable to speak to Isshin in person.

“What did he do?”

“What do you think he did?” Ichigo’s voice is a searing cut of bitterness and anger. “Kai was four. I thought I could trust him. I fucking trusted him with my son.” Kisuke grips Ichigo’s hand tighter, and is gratified that he can at least react to that, fingers tightening around Kisuke’s.

“My son cried when he saw me, said he was sorry, he was a good boy he promised.” The loathing cuts deep into Ichigo’s words. “He fucking begged me to never make him go back to Isshin again.” Ichigo’s eyes glow a faint amber, his Hollow possessiveness to the front. “I took him to Yuzu’s, promised him that I would be back, and when I went to confront Isshin, he wasn’t the slightest bit sorry about what he’d nearly done to my son. I was not going to let him raise another me.”

Oh. Oh dear. Hazy wisps of red smoke plume from his lips, and Ichigo closes his eyes, strangling back sheer, unadulterated rage by his fingertips. “The worst of it...” Ichigo takes a deep breath.

“The worst of it was that Rukia didn’t see a damn thing wrong with it at first.”

The other shoe hits with the force of a sledgehammer to his temple.

He should have expected this. He knew of Rukia’s upbringing, knew how she treated Ichigo at times, and yet.

And fucking yet.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs, reaches out to cup a cheek in his hand, Ichigo leaning against it like a cat. “I had no idea.” Ichigo gives him an understanding look and leans back.

“I guessed as much,” Ichigo says, voice dry. “Thank you, by the way. Kai mentioned your conversation with him.”

“Oh?” Ichigo gives a little laugh at his wary tone.

“Told me all about how you called him Kaien once - and then didn’t do it again, even after he tested you and gave you permission.”

… That was a test? It had completely flown over Kisuke’s head, he would admit. Ichigo’s lips curl up into a slight smile.

“My son is well aware of his legacy, even if he doesn’t know why he’s forced to bear it. He overheard his mother and I arguing too often to not know.” Ichigo’s eyes turn briefly distant. “The others… they try. Rukia and I… we were good together once, but honestly, at this point, it’s been more of a mistake to stay with her than it’s been to divorce her.”

Ouch.

“We fell in love, and - god, I tried, I fucking tried - to stay in love with her, and she tried so hard too, to be with me. Any other child, any other parent, and Kai would have been a happy son, a well-loved one.” Ichigo’s head hits the table. “I want my son to feel loved for being himself.”

Kisuke hesitates.

“The others?” He asks, and Ichigo doesn’t look up.

“We’re all together in this. Hime, Ishida, Chad… we’re friends. We protected each other, even when we didn’t have Soul Society to rely on. If worst comes to worst, Kai and I will close the clinic and stick with Chad for a while, or I’ll take Kai to Tokyo, lose ourselves there. Come hell or high water, where one of us goes, the rest will follow. No matter what.”

A gleam of a catlike smile curls Ichigo’s lips. “You can come with us, if you want.”

Kisuke wasn’t sure how to feel, but there was a warm, faint glow under his breastbone that had nothing - and everything - to do with how Ichigo smiled at him.

[angelictaehyun]

PAIRING: idol!hueningkai x reader

GENRE: idol au, f2l au, fluff

WC.1,800+

WARNINGS: none!

SYNOPSIS: He’s had a crush on you for quite a while, which was his sole reason he couldn’t take his eyes off you. Secondly, with some newfound confidence, he has the courage to tell you how he truly feels. Ah, young love...

.

“God, I’m exhausted,” Kai groaned. Taehyun chuckled, patting him on the back, “Hey, at least we’re done performing for today.”

He was insanely sweaty, tired, and drained of energy. Thankfully, a soothing, calming haze soon slowly encompassed him. He stepped into the performer’s waiting room, immediately sliding onto the cold floor, refusing to get up. However, the second he saw you saunter in, your group trailing closely behind, all his lost energy quickly returned to him. You seemed so eager, full of light, and prepared to perform, it made him grin.

He kept to himself, mindlessly scrolling through his phone in the far corner of the room, but all he could think of was the soft, melodious laugh escaping your lips. He toyed with the hem of his shirt, cringing at his obvious, longing stare but he couldn’t help it. He wished he could gather any semblance of confidence, he truly wanted to converse with you, but his big, fat, stupid crush prevented him. He thought of the way you lit up a room just by smiling, the way you effortlessly commanded attention, and the way you smelled like strawber—

“Jesus, Kai... stop staring. It’s creeping me and everyone else out,” Taehyun pointedly stated. He raised an eyebrow and clicked his tongue, teasing the younger for his not-so-little crush.

Kai immediately snapped out of his trance, too lost in his mind to even notice he was openly staring, “Oh, shit. Y/N didn’t see me, right...”

He didn’t know why he asked, your back faced him. He couldn’t see your face but he could still picture your bright, lovely smile. Taehyun rolled his eyes, “Y/N’s too preoccupied with Yeonjun’s story. You’re fine.”

Kai exhaled a deep sigh of relief and tried to train his mind anywhere else, but that task proved difficult whenever you were in his general vicinity. He yearningly watched you twirl around, your hair whirling with you — practically in slow motion. He hummed, heart practically shooting out of his eyes. Subsequently, Taehyun gagged. You had Kai wrapped around your finger and you didn’t even know.

You, on the other hand, suspiciously backed away from your group, hoping they wouldn’t notice your missing presence. Your clicking heel didn’t aid in your effort, but you succeeded nonetheless. He studied you intently as your gaze darted around the room, making sure no one saw you. He narrowed his eyes, you seemed nasty, fishy, easily intriguing him.

Yes, being an idol was difficult, but being an idol at an award show... the worst.

You couldn’t do anything! You couldn’t interact with other idols, you couldn’t talk too much, and most importantly, you couldn’t eat until after performing. Honestly, it made sense considering your... graceless snacking habit; you’d likely ruin your perfect, flawless makeup. However, you were stubborn and an avid rule breaker, thus you slowly crept to the snack table, hoping to steal the donut you kept an eye on. You were so close, your fingertip grazing the puffy, saccharine dessert, however, at that moment, your group’s name was announced over the intercom. You jumped and screeched, accidentally squashing the donut in the process; jelly and powdered sugar stuck to your hand. You winced. You flicked your gaze around the room, hoping no one had seen your embarrassment, and when you deemed the coast clear, you calmed. He chuckled, amused by your reaction — you failed to notice his stare. You adorably pouted, making him swoon, before trudging out into the hallway to meet the rest of your group. He followed suit, his own group getting directed into the audience.

He strolled past you as you chatted amongst yourself, secretly hoping you’d notice him. He had an important question to ask, as earlier in the day, he decided to ask you on a date. However, he found himself slowly losing confidence as the day passed. As he walked by, feeling defeated, your eyes strayed onto his broad back, noticing an unzipped gap on the side of his shirt, yet he seemed to pay no mind.

“Hey! Kai!” you yelled across the boisterous hallway. He instantly spun around, arguably too quickly, at your call — your soft, silvery voice was absolute music to his ears. He flashed you a shy smile, it made your heart race a bit faster. You weaved through the buzzing crowd, stumbling right as you landed in front of him. He caught you easily, steadying you with his hand — he hoped you didn’t notice the clamminess, it was embarrassing. He quickly pulled his hand back, conspicuously wiping it against his silk shirt.

“Sorry, I just wanted to let you know your shirt has a hole on the side,” you mumbled softly. His mouth gaped slightly, he hoped it wasn’t like that on stage.

“God, that’s embarrassing.”

He tried grabbing the side of his shirt, but when he couldn’t locate the gap, he began spinning in place, eagerly grasping at his shirt. You couldn’t help but giggle at his resemblance to a golden retriever chasing its tail, he was just too adorable. You firmly planted a hand on his shoulder to stop him, making him blush furiously. You reached out the fiddle with the zipper on his shirt, hoping your breathing remained in check — it was the closest you’d ever stood to him. You focused intently, taking your sweet time as he studied you with a half-smile, too intimidated by your close proximity to speak. You had created a personal, little bubble and you didn’t want to pull away. You glanced up but he hid his face, shifting away from you. He felt nervous, he tried focusing on his group as they interacted amongst each other. He loved talking to you, despite his nervousness, though it was rare. You liked award shows, it allowed you to speak to him... you might’ve been from the same company but you didn’t get much time to interact.

He opened his mouth to speak, but he got cut off by your groupmate calling your name. She tilted her head toward the stage, silently telling you to hurry along. You smoothed over his shirt once more, flashing him a bright smile and cheeky wink before walking away. His breath caught in his throat.

“Good luck, Y/N. Break a leg...” he choked out, unsure of if you heard him or not.

· ──────────────────── ·

Per usual, the spotlight felt invigorating. You adored performing, it gave you a slight buzz, a rush.

Kai obnoxiously cheered as often as he could, though he couldn’t contain his blush as you turned in his direction. He tried his best to keep calm, if he wasn’t cheering, especially due to all the cameras surrounding him, but on the inside, his heart soared. He felt prideful. Your group had won an award that night — two, actually — and while you felt grateful, you couldn’t help but squeal at the sight of food, a bit more excited about that than a trophy. You were quick to leave the stage, choosing your ending ment carefully yet timely, you just really wanted that donut. Your group dispersed around the building while you made an instant beeline for the snack bar. You savored your donut, unhindered, too distracted by the sugary taste to notice the door opening.

“Hey, Y/N...”

You turned toward the sound, mouth full of food. When you landed on Kai’s angelic face, you harshly swallowed and mustered up a sheepish smile, embarrassed that he caught you in the act. He chuckled softly, aware of your love for food; in fact, he’d held a lot of conversations with you in the company’s cafeteria, late into the night. You enjoyed sneaking down to grab a midnight snack after dance practice, and more often than not, Kai was also there enjoying a glass of banana milk. He made sure to be there around the same time as you, and while you scratched it off as a mere coincidence, in reality, he came to see you.

During your pre-performance meeting, he felt the courage to ask you on a date, but he got cut off. Of course, he was nervous as well, you were just too pretty. However, he quickly pushed past that fear, and in that moment, he thought it a better time than not.

“Hey, Y/N... I’ve been meaning to say something,” he mumbled, fidgeting with a loose thread hanging from his sleeve. You noted his discomfort, easily concerning you. You reached your hand out, but before you could say anything, he continued, “... I’d like to take you on a date.”

He timidly chewed on his bottom lip, awaiting your response. You couldn’t help but giggle at his adorable awkwardness which made him panic. You quickly stifled your laugh when you saw his eyes widen, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry! Yes, yes, of course! I’ve been waiting for you to ask me that... that’s why I’m always at the cafeteria at night... to see you.”

You stared at the floor, feeling shy after your confession. His heart skipped a beat and he instinctively clutched your hand in his. He smiled at you and leaned in, though you could sense his hesitation. After all, he was young and relatively inexperienced. You took the next step, leaning in closer to where your lips barely grazed his when Yeonjun strutted through the door while humming a song, completely unaware of the private moment you were sharing. Yeonjun grabbed his bottle and began chugging, but his gaze slowly fell to your entwined hands and he promptly choked on his water. He mumbled an apology, clumsily stumbling back out into the hallway, but not before sending Kai a knowing wink — he made a mental note to tease the younger as soon as they returned home.

Kai’s eyes widened comically, obvious blush painting his cheeks, meanwhile, you laughed at the secondhand embarrassment. As he processed, you leaned forward to place a kiss on each cheek, leaving him a flustered mess. He dropped your hand to place his on your waist, pulling you in closer. You closed the gap before he could dwell on his anxiousness to press a haste kiss on his soft lips; kissing you felt better than he could’ve imagined — he’d thought about it a lot — and he became hesitant to pull away. You tugged his shirt closer, telling him to keep going, so he relaxed and melted into your soothing touch. He eventually pulled away, keeping his head hovered above your own and pressed a light kiss to your forehead. He joined your hands once more, bringing them against his chest to place against his heart. 

He hummed contently, feeling on top of the world.

[purplerose244]

Peacefully

Here for this year’s Ninjago Secret Santa! Man I love this event, thank you a lot @coco-jaguar for organizing it once again! ❤ Hi @davisisacommonname, I’m your secret santa! Here’s you gift, I hope you like it! 😊😊

Merry Christmas and happy festivitites!! 💕💕

Summary: It’s a day like others, just without the usual mayhem shaking the entire city. A time to think of less stressful possibilities.

“So, what did we learn today?”

“That dares are stupid?” As they got back inside the monastery, finally escaping the chilling winter air, Nya raised a gigantic eyebrow at the green ninja. At which the mighty leader seemed to shrink the littlest bit. “… that dares involving the master of lighting putting lights on the tree using spinjitzu, resorting in him entangling himself into the wires and making every single bulb explode by electrification, are stupid?”

“There you go.” The master of water sighed loudly. “I don’t even know why I’m surprised it happened.” Despite the nonchalance of this blondie, the brand-new lights that they had been forced to buy and how she was probably the only one irritated about it – especially since Kai had been laughing hysterically for ten minutes straight afterwards –, she smiled.

Lloyd mimicked her, probably sensing he was not in mortal danger anymore, taking off scarf and hat. His golden locks puffed up as soon as the headpiece was off.

“Does the fact that I lost against Cole count as enough punishment?”

“Mhm?”

“I bet with him it was going to be Kai the first to cause an incident, he was supposed to be the one to take the bet. Now I’m in debt of one week of chores.” Another eyebrow was raised, less furious, more judging. “What? I’m trying to catch up, apparently the guys used to bet on everything when they first formed the team, from who was going to be the green ninja, to who was going to be the first to find out the identity of Samurai X! Like, I’m that prophesied green savior, and I knew about your little escapades.” Nya couldn’t help the little smirk. Ironically, the green ninja did turn out to be the first to discover the truth. “I could’ve won two times already, I wanna keep up now.”

They stepped into the kitchen, hearing faraway sounds. The others were most likely elsewhere putting up less expendable decorations. Nya was already looking towards the stove, thinking of nothing other than hot chocolate. Knowing Lloyd, they were on the same page.

“Okay, that’s uselessly prideful and kind of adorable, but this better not turn into a gambling addiction little one.”

“Nya, my father was the king of the Underworld. Is there really a worse evil than that?”

She couldn’t argue back.

Lost in thoughts about something warm to melt her frozen bones, she almost jumped when the sudden scribble came to her ears, and one extremely peaceful whistling that they were all too accustomed to at this point. In the living room right next, sitting on the sofa with the television uncharacteristically switched off, was Cole. Eyes on a random notebook he had on his knees, a pencil in the air, wearing that ridiculous sweater Jay found at the mall with muscled arms drawn over the sleeves – such a miracle of an ugly sweater.

He looked extremely taken by his activity, munching the end of the pencil every once in a while. Seeing their official lifter so calm and captured by whatever mindless activity had forced him to sit down was curious. It did happen before, but lately it got rarer. It was always a nice view.

Nya looked at the green ninja, who pointed at the kitchen with his thumb, right where the mugs where. She nodded, and went to take place next to the master of earth.

Who jumped right away, giving her a look.

“What the…? You’re back already? I didn’t hear you get in.”

“Wow, you don’t say!” From the kitchen the blonde’s voice erupted. “It’s almost like we’re ninja or something, unbelievable!” It followed accurate noises made by mouth, and if they knew him – and after years they absolutely did – then the little brat was probably mimicking an explosion coming out of his head – he was hanging around Jay a little too much.

Nya giggled, while the master of earth rolled his eyes with a little grin.

“Nice to hear you’re all in a good mood after our little blackout. You got the lights?”

“All done. Sorry about the scare, but it looked like you were in your own world.” She tilted her head, looking around. The living room was getting more festive, but it missed at least half the holly. “Didn’t you guys finish while we were gone?”

“We were going to, then something came up and we can’t really continue until Zane comes back to the shop… Kai accidentally set the tree on fire while you two were gone.” Her loud facepalm spoke louder than any of them. “I think Wu is still giving him an earful as he did with Jay as we speak … and before you ask Lloyd, Jay made a mess before Kai. So I still won the bet.”

“Aww, for once that I actually need Hot Shot to cause a mess!” The green ninja came out of the kitchen, the kettle starting to heat up into the kitchen, pout clearly in sight. For being their brave leader and the strongest ninja of all, he was still kind of a kid – although in all honesty, weren’t they all? “Anyway, what got you so into it that you forgot how to hear?” He walked until he was behind the couch, leaning over the master of earth’s shoulder and smiling. “Hey, that’s pretty cool! I didn’t know you could draw!” His surprised tone came out sincerely, especially since it felt like forever since they had found each other in this weird family. Finding new details was always a shock.

Nya scooted closer as well, smiling at the familiar shading of the chicken drawn onto the paper, with the real one sleeping over a pillow in front of the tv.

“You still have a nice touch. I haven’t seen you do it ever since it was just the four of you in action, and this little evil brat was in some random snake prison.” Lloyd mouthed an ‘oohhh’ of understand as why he didn’t remember. “To be more specific, I’m pretty sure it was back when instead of listening to my research about the Serpentine, you guys have tried to poison me with perfume.” Good thing no villain knew about her little Achilles hill.

Cole snorted, pressing his eraser on the corner of the paper.

“You were telling complicated stuff to that airhead that is your brother, to the guy that was lookin at your in awe while trying his hardest to ask you out, and to a nindroid. A robot. You can’t really blame us.”

“What’s your excuse then?” The master of earth raised his piece.

“I’m pretty freaking good at this.” Nya snorted. Again, no arguments here. “You know… I’ve been thinking about those times. And it’s not like it was easier, but I guess we didn’t really know how much things could become complicated and return back then.” Cole looked over the drawing, shrugging. “But I’m in vein of taking something back from there, exactly because we don’t know when we could get called into action again. It’s little, but it’s still mine… I felt silly like that this morning.” He grinned of that introverted nature that, despite years, was still a part of him.

And it was okay. It was great even. Nya gave him a shoulder.

“Hey, it’s not silly, it’s good.”

“Yeah! All of us should do something other than fighting.” Lloyd chimed in, dropping next to Cole on the other side, smiling. “Like for example, even though it’s been a pretty shady part of my life, I kinda miss PE back at Darkley’s. Moving just for the sake of moving. We should play sometimes, not because of training, it could be fun… or Nya could annihilate us, whichever comes first.”

“I’m not that competit-” The master of water blinked twice, shaken by the quickest flashback of her life. “… no wait scratch that, I totally am.”

Cole snickered, tapping the notebook with his pencil.

“Besides having as a golden rule to never put the blacksmith brothers against each other-” It could be the time Ninjago actually managed to get completely destroyed for good. “I would be down for that, why not? No sparring or anything, just a friendly match of whatever. I didn’t even get to do that as a kid, dad would always say that I could risk putting muscles where a dancer didn’t need them…” He flexed one arm, the massive hill pulling up the drawing onto the sleeve. He grinned with satisfaction. “How about football? I’ve always wanted to try football!” Oh for whatever reason other than having the strength to tackle a mountain?

“Absolutely!” Lloyd nodded eagerly. “Let’s do it! Oh, and soccer too, Brad and I used to try that a lot when we were kids!” He seemed to absolutely glow and the perspective, and it was kinda sad that such a simple reality represented an actual opportunity for him.

Before Nya could get lost into more self-deprecating depressive thoughts, and the fact that not even one of them had a normal childhood except maybe for Jay – and considering the still not so clear Cliff Gordon erased reality affair that was still up to discussion –, there was a loud whistle coming from the kitchen. The green ninja immediately sprouted into action, sprinting towards the sound. As soon as Cole decided to put down his drawing, seeing as the chicken had woken up to go bother someone – bet on Kai –, the blondie came back with three steaming mugs, giving to them all.

The master of water held up hers – a blue one with a storm cloud on it saying ‘Too tide to talk’ –, smiling at the distinct bitter scent of black cocoa. They knew each other tastes way too well.

“Sounds good to me. I also fancy basketball, so I’m down for that.”

“Nice! Mm, but how about other hobbies? Nya?” Cole took his time to take a generous sip from his mug that was literally dripping because of the amount of marshmallow – covering slightly the orange surface with ‘I’m a grounded person, like my coffee’ written on it –, while the gray ninja frowned a little. “Anything you would like to regain? You never really stopped with engineering so I’m guessing that’s out of the way.”

“Yeah, but,” She hummed, tracing the warm cup with her fingers. “That wasn’t a hobby or something I liked to do, not at first at least. It was just like Samurai X, a way to show you guys I could do what you did, even better. It grew on me, but it’s kinda work too, I’m proud of it but nowhere near as passionate as Jay or Cyrus Borg could be.” It was all about her tendency of holding onto the things she excelled at after all, the one obstacle that had almost cost her the true potential of her element. Despite her steps forward, putting a difference between liking to be good at something and liking it was still a little complicated. Then again… “… maybe painting?”

Cole grinned in surprise, Lloyd raised his head from his cup showing an impressive chocolate mustache – along with that black mug saying ‘It’s morning so you green and bear it’… and yes those mugs were all Jay’s presents.

“Whoa, where did that come from?”

“Yeah no offence, but you never stroke me as the artistic type.”

“None taken, it’s not exactly something that I feel it belongs to me, but maybe that’s why I used to like it. Because it was so far I didn’t have to think too much about it.” Nya smiled, taking another sip. “Remember the second Steep of Wisdom Wu opened in the middle of Ninjago City? To attract more customers I decided to work on a mural, right on the side. I don’t even know why, I just bought paint, brushes and a suit and started.”

“Oohh, I remember the one!” Lloyd snapped his fingers, the marshmallow in his cocoa shaking in the movement. “It was the one with the big majestic Wu serving the customer, I thought he hired an artist for it! That was cool!”

“You’re not saying it just because you’re my little brother, right?”

“Oh no, if it was ugly I would make a manifest all about it exactly because I’m your little brother. Brotherly code, smack talk every time it’s possible.” And then he fist bumped with his earthly brother nearby, wearing that same stupid grin. “But seriously, you were good at it. We finally have some free time to our hands, maybe it could be a good time for a new work. We still need the mural of that Day of the Departed where Cole turned back human after all, since those monks decided they had ‘lost the harmony of the inspiration’.” No one had been happy with leaving that important adventure behind – too bad they were in a monastery, a place of peace.

Cole hummed mindlessly, munching a marshmallow.

“Tell you what, how about we buy drawing and painting materials together for Christmas shopping?” He chugged down his drink, releasing a very satisfied sigh before leaning his back softly over the couch. “It’s usually Zane or Pix, we could take over for once and no, don’t give me that look water lily, it’s not for buying an extra cake and yes, do give me that look greenie, if you come along we’re so escaping and get to the sweet shop.” And there it came, another fist bump.

She had signed up for this.

She had signed up for this the moment she had let herself being overtaken by a bunch of skeletons, a past hit on her pride that to this day made her want to take a bone and break it in halves every time she thought about it – sports were going to be massacres, she was kinda looking forwards to it.

“I’m bringing leashes for you two vampires with sweet teeth, but it’s not a bad idea. And I like the mall in this period, it could even bring some inspiration as to what to paint.”

“How did you decide the first time?”

“I just thought of a simple design to get more clients.” Nya finished her drink, giving her eyes to a very curious looking blonde, thinking that it had been so long. It had always been so long, every single time she reevoked a part of her life, even though she was still so young. It was that eventful. “I worked on that project all day… but after it melted under the sun, it got ruined because of the wind and a lightning decided to strike it right in the middle, I just splashed it with all the colors I had and spinjitzued the heck out of it.”

“… rage, the mark of an artist.” Lloyd snickered, then he froze, suddenly beaming at the two. “Hey, why don’t you two work on something together? Cole makes the drawing and you paint it, it could be like a Christmas gift or something!”

Nya popped her mouth opened. How did they never think of that? How did they never while they had been battling villain after villain after villain after- Oh, there was the answer.

She turned to the master of earth, who looked just as engaged with the idea, if not more.

“Heck yeah, let’s do it! I can sketch a few ideas!”

“I do have colors I never got to try last time…”

“And I know mom got a few old frames that didn’t get accepted by the museum, I’m sure we can find a good one for this.” Lloyd grinned, scratching his cheek. “It’s almost weird putting up a plan for something other than defeating evilness…”

“Maybe, doesn’t make it any less good.” Cole winked at the two of them, looking inspired. And it was so good to see her brothers so high-spirited, and being happy with them. “… aha, I got one!” The master of earth hurried to the notebook, scrabbling quickly while the green ninja leaned his chin over his shoulder to see better, and the master of water did the same with her elbow on the other side. There was no other noise besides the pencil moving, and the suddenly more vivid voice of the rest of their family not too far away.

Peace was an abstract concept, it was in her life at least. But at least this moment, this situation, this instant, for Nya this was hers. And she wanted to make the most of it.

“… is that Jay getting entangled into the Christmas lights while doing spinjitzu?”

“Yeah? Is that the ‘should I punch you now or later for stupidity’ frown?”

“Nah, it’s the ‘what shade of color better depict bad life decisions’ frown.”

[vvinter-queen]

I Seek the Truth (I’m Ready to Hear) ❅ Elanna

Elsa and Anna talk about what happened at the Ice Queen after Anna comes home from Arendelle, and some family secrets finally come into the sun.

Date: 6/28

TW: Previously mentioned rough family dynamics, implied child abuse, mentions of panic attacks, canon-typical Near-Fatal Brushes With Ice Magic, mentioned Magical Frostbite, everyone in this damn family is tragic

@sommer-girl

ANNA

Midsummer had been… fun. And Anna maybe felt a little guilty for feeling that. The entire time, she had really tried to give Dad the cold shoulder, to look like she wasn’t having too much fun, but the bonfire and the maypole and all the baked treats just brought her back to a simpler time, and it was hard not to lean in and enjoy it a little bit. Gerta and Kai looked so happy to see her. And even Mom seemed excited, too. One night, after everyone else had gone to bed, Anna had told her everything about Pride U, crocheting with her by the fire and knowing she probably wouldn’t remember it. And in retrospect, maybe that was kind of sad, that that was the only way 

Anna really felt like she could talk about everything.

It was a relief, anyway, to be back in Swynlake, knowing that nobody could make her leave. She was still waiting to hear back from the interview at Interpride, but she thought it had gone well. There was a lot to look forward to this summer. And yet…

There was a lot to talk about from last week.

Anna had seen the tweet about Ice Queen being closed, and she had gone back and forth on whether or not to text Elsa and settled on not. But by the time Anna was back in Swynlake, she knew what she had to do. So she texted Elsa and asked if she wanted to come over to her dorm while Ashleigh was gone and talk.

“...Hi,” Anna said awkwardly, opening the door once she heard the knock. “You can come in, er, there’s not really a lot of places to sit.” Her bed was still lofted, but she had a little floor space, so Anna just sat on the floor. She fidgeted with her sleeve in silence for a moment before looking up at Elsa. “Er, how are you doing?”

ELSA

In the end, Elsa had been too much of a coward to do anything but wait for Anna to approach her first.

Part of her was relieved Anna had gone to Arendelle for Midsummer. She deserved to see her family again, to see her home again. It meant she was safe while Elsa dealt with her magic going haywire-- which was still a work in progress, her skin was still covered in a thick layer of frost, and she was starting to fear she’d lose feeling in her fingers permanently.

But a part of Elsa also ached. Alone again, separated from her family and her home. Clearly not wanted. Probably not missed after the scene she’d made. Somehow in the six months Anna had been in Swynlake, Elsa had forgotten how to be alone, and she’d cried silently into her pillows as she realized that she didn’t want to remember.

Somewhere there was a balance between keeping Anna safe and being her big sister again. Now more than ever, Elsa was determined to find that balance. So when Anna had texted her upon coming back to Swynlake, Elsa didn’t hesitate to answer. 

She walked into the dorms wearing layers that were not at all appropriate for the summer weather, but very appropriate for having a hard conversation considering the hair trigger her magic seemed to be operating on. Elsa knew she was going to have to tell Anna everything, relive every painful memory, and if they got through this conversation without Elsa frosting over the floor and walls of her dorm, that would be a rousing success.

“Hi,” Elsa said softly back as she entered the dorm, carefully closing the door behind her. The decorations in the room looked much different this time; probably the influence of her new roommate. Elsa sat on the floor opposite Anna, sure to keep plenty of space between them just in case. She clutched her gloved hands together. “I’m… well. And you? How was your trip?”

ANNA

The fact that Elsa was dressed for a snowstorm was probably not a great sign. A few months ago, Anna might have poked fun at that, but after last week, she could understand the reasoning. Even if she disagreed with it. No matter what Dad said, Anna trusted that Elsa would never hurt her. Magic could be unpredictable, but it wasn’t that unpredictable. 

She gave a small smile. “It was nice to see everyone. Gerta made me take, like, six jars of herring with me, so if you want some, there’s no way I’m gonna get through it all myself,” Anna said, knowing she was stalling. She didn’t really want to talk much about home, anyway. That felt wrong. Like she was rubbing it in that Elsa hadn’t been there. 

She was quiet again, unusual for Anna. Normally she filled every silence with chatter, even if it wasn’t really necessary. That was the way Anna was with most people-- except Devyn, maybe, who Anna always felt weirdly comfortable just sitting in silence with while they worked on their own things. But that was different. This silence felt loaded, tense, uncomfortable, but Anna didn’t have anything to fill it with except questions.

But Anna was the one to invite Elsa here, so she figured she should probably be the one to start the conversation. “So, erm…” Anna started, not really sure where to begin. She didn’t like this. This kind-of-being-mad-at-Elsa thing. “About last week, I-- well, obviously I have a lot of questions. I… heard a lot of stuff. And, like, honestly, I know Dad doesn’t tell me shit, but it… kind of freaked me out that there’s all this stuff you didn’t tell me?” Anna’s voice tightened and she swallowed down tears. Not yet. She could get through this without crying. She had to.

ELSA

Elsa smiled softly at the mention of Gerta. That sounded like her; Elsa had nearly been able to stock her entire apartment’s kitchen when she went to uni thanks to all the food Gerta had sent with her. It sent a pang of longing through her. Did Gerta know she was here now? Had Father or Anna told her and Kai?

Did Mother know?

Elsa shoved those thoughts away, knowing that she had to be present for this. She had to maintain perfect control, now more than ever. She nodded as Anna spoke, feeling a lump growing in her own throat. Conceal. Don’t feel. Come on, Elsa. Just like you practiced.

“I… don’t know how much you heard, but I guess it doesn’t matter,” she said softly. “It would be upsetting regardless, and I’m so sorry you had to hear all that. Especially in that way.” Anna had never been around for any of Agnarr and Elsa’s arguments as she got older; everyone in the house had made sure of that. “I’ve always tried to be honest with you, Anna. This second chance… I never thought I’d get the chance to be your sister again,” she said with a small, sad smile. “You can’t know how much it means to me, how determined I am to be the sister you deserve. I’ve failed you before, and I don’t want to again.”

“Which is… which is probably why I didn’t bring these things up with you,” Elsa admitted softly. “I knew I would have to; you deserve the truth, and it affects you probably more than it affects me, I just--”

Elsa clutched her hands tighter, rapidly blinking away the tears that had begun to pool at the corners of her eyes. Her chest felt tight with grief and ice. “I guess I wanted more time,” she whispered. “But that was selfish of me, and I apologize. I can’t condemn Father for keeping you in the dark when I am willingly doing the same thing. So,” Elsa took a deep breath, straightening her spine, and looked Anna straight in the eyes. “I’m ready. Whatever questions you have, whatever you want to know. I promise to be as unbiased as I can be.”

ANNA

Anna was expecting more of a fight. Elsa was a private person, and Anna knew this about her now. She had learned, over the years, not to take it personally when Elsa was out of reach. But maybe last week had changed things. That fight had been the culmination of years of secrets, which was the point Anna had planned to make, but Elsa seemed to understand that already. She exhaled, feeling just a little bit relieved that at least Elsa saw where she was coming from.

But she wasn’t ready to completely let go of her frustration. Just because Elsa was ready to talk now didn’t mean Anna felt less upset about the years of secrets. “I appreciate that,” Anna said in a low, serious voice that she didn’t normally use.”

Where even to start, though?

“Erm… I guess I still don’t really know what you’re talking about when you say you’ve failed me? Like, do you mean just not being around, or… like, does that have something to do with what you and Dad were talking about with Mom? I’m just, like, kind of confused I guess,” Anna said hesitantly. She wasn’t really sure she wanted this answer, but she knew she needed to know. Being comfortable but in the dark was no way to live. Anna had learned that the hard way.

ELSA

Nodding, Elsa braced herself. She was being pretty vague, but it was the only way she knew how to talk about it. She and their father had been talking circles around the accident for years; like even mentioning what had happened would invite another disaster into their home. 

“A little of both,” she said softly. “At the time, I thought staying away was safer. I was… well.” Elsa sighed, tugging nervously on her pinky before sighing and rolling her sleeves of her large sweater up before tugging her gloves off. The skin underneath was paler than usual, tinged blue with cold, and shimmered with ice and frost. It curled around her arms in swirling patterns, and if the panic got bad enough, she knew it would thicken into a protective layer of ice. She hadn’t had her magic do this since she moved to Swynlake, but it had been a regular occurrence on the mountain. 

“My control of my magic has been deteriorating for years,” Elsa admitted. “I’ve been frosting over everything I touch, I-- when Father came into the shop, he--” The frost on her knuckles glimmered like diamonds. “I had a panic attack and froze half the shop,” she said. “Managed to break all the windows and cause a rainstorm. The police had to send their Magick response team to get me out. I’ve tried to keep it in for so long, but then one moment of weakness, one second of losing my grip… I don’t know how long it’s going to take to get me back to normal. I don’t… I don’t even know if it’s sustainable.”

She took a long breath. “And it all started because… because I lost control and… my magic, it--” This time, her breath was shaky. No. She had to do this. Elsa wrapped her arms around herself, frost dancing across the sleeves of her sweater and on the floor under her. “I almost killed you,” Elsa whispered. “And Mother saved your life.”

ANNA

Anna had never seen that before. The ice on Elsa’s hands like that. Was that why she was always wearing sweaters and gloves, even in the heat of July? Anna had just always thought Elsa was one of those people who got cold all the time, especially given that it was usually pretty cold in the ice cream shop. The sight made her kind of nervous. Maybe things were getting worse.

But everything was fine. Elsa’s magic was not dangerous. Even if the spot of ice forming on the floor was already making Anna think… no. She had to trust her sister.

She listened, nodding her head seriously, but frowned at that last part. She wasn’t sure she believed that. “Like… actually?” Anna asked skeptically. “Or is that just something Dad told you because he’s scared of magic? And how would Mom…” 

Anna had some memories of Mom before she got sick, but not many. Sometimes she wondered if she was conflating them with things she’d read in books. It wasn’t something anyone really talked about, so Anna had to draw her own conclusions. Anna loved her mother, but what Elsa was saying was hard to picture. 

ELSA

That would be easier, wouldn’t it? Agnarr’s fear of Magicks just blowing up a minor incident. But no. Elsa remembered the panic in her mother’s eyes, the way her hands shook as she scooped Anna off the floor. Cold. Too still. Her tiny chest rising and falling too slowly, too shallowly.

“It’s like I said,” Elsa said quietly. “Father didn’t always fear Magicks. He married one, after all.”

Her mother, laughing as the wind danced around her. Anna giggling as she was gently and playfully lifted high into the air on a strong breeze, leaves curling around her. The familiar tug of the wind on Elsa’s braid before competing or as she exercised the horses. 

“Mother was blessed by the wind spirit, the Sylph,” Elsa explained. “That’s how the Northuldra who are chosen get their gifts; the spirits choose them at birth. That’s how I got mine.” The Nokk; the water spirit. Why it chose her, she would never understand. Why Ahtohallan had chosen her, she almost didn’t want to know. 

“It… you were five. I had been at school and practice all day, preparing for some big skating competition.” She remembered the day so clearly. The feeling of exhaustion clinging to her eyes, the weight of her own body feeling so heavy. Mother, tense as she drove Elsa to ice skating practice and as she spoke on the phone with her father in clipped tones. They’d been arguing about going to Solensby again; Iduna wanted to visit more frequently, giving Elsa a chance to find her place in the tribe and Anna an opportunity to learn more about her heritage. Father wanted them to stay in Arendelle more; Elsa needed to learn more about the city if she was one day going to run for Mayor like him, or go on the council. There’s always been a Sommers leading in Arendelle, after all.

She didn’t say that. She didn’t want to confuse Anna more.

“When I got home it was far past your bedtime, but you had stayed up anyways.” Elsa smiled softly at her hands, some of the frost on the floor melting away as she remembered catching a squealing young Anna in her arms and cuddling her close. “I was so busy with the winter break coming up that we had barely seen each other for a week. You begged me to play with you, even just a little before bed, and I… god, I was so tired. I knew better. But I agreed.”

Racing down the stairs, Anna clinging to her hand as Elsa tried to quiet her giggling between her own laughter. They’d both changed into their pajamas at least, and Elsa had made sure Anna put on her warmest socks.

“We went to the big dining hall, the one where Father throws his Christmas party every year. There were no tables or furniture to move, and the ceiling was so high…”

“Do the magic, Elsa! Make it snow!” 

“Okay, okay! Calm down! You don’t want Mama and Papa to hear you!” 

“I made it snow and iced over the floor so we could skate in our socks. We even made a little snowman,” Elsa said with a fond smile. That smile quickly melted away. “You… you wanted to play mountain climbers. I would make mounds of snow for you to jump in, making them taller and taller to catch you. Normally I could keep up but I was barely even awake at that point, and you kept jumping higher and higher and I--”

“ANNA!”

“I slipped on the ice,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “I’ve never slipped before, ever, and I just-- you were already in the air, maybe six feet up-- if you’d hit the ground, you could have hit your head or broken a bone or worse so I just--” Elsa had to stop, taking a deep breath and clutching her trembling hands together. “I tried to push you back into the snow drift you’d jumped from, and instead, in a panic, I put a bolt of unformed ice magic straight through your temple and into your head.”

Exactly where Anna’s streak of white hair began.

ANNA

“What?” Anna whispered as Elsa started the story, not even expecting it to start there-- Mom? A Magick? Since when? Anna had always just thought that Elsa’s gift was a random thing, or maybe someone knew a fairy godmother or a sorcerer or something. She knew that Mom had cousins in the north that the family didn’t really keep in touch with, but not… wow.

She also kind of wondered why she didn’t get chosen by “the spirits,” but, like, whatever. Not the point.

The story was unfamiliar, but as Elsa told it, some of it came back. Anna remembered how she and Elsa used to play in the snow, how she used to beg Elsa to use her magic, and usually in the middle of the night when the parents had gone to bed. It was odd to her that she didn’t remember this time if it had been such an important moment, but Anna thought she had read something on Twitter the other day about, like, your brain straight up blocking out traumatic stuff sometimes. Maybe that was what happened.

It was weird, though, to hear it from Elsa. Like she hadn’t even lived it. 

Anna took a moment to process what Elsa had just said, but she had a million more questions now. Like what this wind spirit stuff was and how it worked, and what any of this had to do with Mom… but one thing at a time. She reigned herself in.

“But, like, I’m okay now, right?” Anna interrupted. “I mean, obviously it’s weird that I don’t remember that, but it’s probably for the best if it was, like, painful or whatever. So I don’t think you should feel bad about it, like, you were a kid and nobody ever taught you about the ice magic stuff, right? Honestly, like, I don’t really get why it was a big secret.” The frustration came back, and maybe it was Anna just trying to justify her strong belief that Elsa had done nothing wrong, that she was exactly the kind of person Anna had always thought she was. 

But there was probably more to the story, Anna thought, now that she had said that.

ELSA

Elsa wasn’t expecting Anna’s gasp, and she had to close her eyes against the sudden heartbreak. She wasn’t sure what hurt worse; the fact that Mother’s magic hadn’t recovered even with Elsa gone, or that Anna didn’t even remember Mother’s magic in the first place. Elsa had known Father wanted to keep the details of the accident from Anna, but to ignore Mother’s magic? The fact that she had once controlled the winds with a wave of her hands? 

Some of that rage she had worked out with Mei sparked back to life, and Elsa let it wash over her. Anger at her father, that had been overwritten by fear upon seeing him again, was coming back now. She could understand rejecting her own magic, but his wife’s!? He had no right.

“That’s the thing, Anna,” Elsa said softly. “I was trained. Before the accident, we would visit Mother’s family in Solensby and I’d learn how to control it.” She let out a bitter laugh. “I was a prodigy. That’s why… when I struck you… it was too much. You were so young and so, so small, and my magic… you would have frozen to death.” Elsa said to the ground. Unable to look up. Unable to meet Anna’s eye. “In minutes. There was no time to get you to Solensby, to Aunt Yelena or the other Magicks. That’s why Mother…”

Elsa shifted, unfolding her legs to instead hug her knees, her lips pressed against her own icy skin as she recalled the way winds had whipped through the ballroom. Mother, with Anna cradled in her arms, speaking words in a slow, melodic rhythm  Elsa could only sort of recognize. Father, holding Elsa tight as the two watched, terrified, as magic swirled through the room and around two of the people who meant the most to them in the whole wide world.

“She used a spell some Northuldra sorcerers had created ages ago,” Elsa said quietly. “It was meant to help children who couldn’t control their own magic, to disperse some of the burden among the community instead of leaving all that elemental power in just one child. But it was never meant to be used by just one person, and never by someone who was blessed by a different spirit. Mother took my magic from you and into her own body with no idea what it would do to her. And it…”

“Mama?” Elsa whispered, voice small and rough with tears. Anna was breathing easier, the flush back in her pale cheeks, but Iduna was staring at her blankly. Elsa hiccuped on a sob. “Mama?”

“Iduna,” Agnarr called, his own voice strained. Iduna looked up, and when she saw them, there was no recognition there. Just confusion and fear. Elsa sagged bonelessly against her father’s chest, sobbing.

“Who?”

“It did something to her head, to her memories. We lost Mother that day, because of me.”

ANNA

Anna was silent for a long time, fiddling with a bead on her bracelet.

Something she liked about history was connecting the dots between cause and effect. A war happened because of advancing technology, which happened because of a society’s economy growing, which happened because of advancing technology, which happened because of a cultural shift toward education. A government was overthrown because of dissatisfaction with the ruler, which happened because of a declining economy, which happened because of corruption, which happened because of a change in leadership. People debated things like causation and correlation, and it wasn’t always straightforward, but putting the pieces together always felt like putting on a pair of glasses for Anna. Everything came into sharper focus. 

It was usually a gratifying feeling, but sometimes the truth was hard to look at. This time it was. Maybe for the first time, Anna could see her family clearly, and for better or for worse, there was no going back.

Dad was scared of magic because Mom had hurt herself with it because Elsa had made a mistake with it because Anna had wanted to play with it. Effect and cause. There was one thing that didn’t match up, though.

“Because of us,” Anna finally said, looking up again. “It was my idea, right? I was acting like magic was a toy. I shouldn’t have made you do that.” Anna felt a little guilty, now-- on her birthday, when Elsa had made it snow just for Anna’s entertainment, Anna was kind of encouraging that kind of thing. Magic wasn’t dangerous, and Anna still didn’t think Elsa would hurt her… again… but maybe Anna should have taken it a little more seriously. “You don’t actually think all of this is your fault, right?” She stared at Elsa for a moment, but before Elsa responded, Anna cut in again, her tone a little quieter, a little smaller. “Erm… if you know how this stuff works… can you help Mom, then?” 

It was a long shot, and Anna didn’t want to get her hopes up, but she was already starting to.

ELSA

“Anna, you were five,” Elsa said gently, already seeing the sad slump to her sister’s shoulders. “Up until then, you had no reason to be worried or cautious. I should have known better. None of this is your fault, so please don’t ever think that it is.”

At Anna’s questions, Elsa went silent. She didn’t think it was her fault, she knew it was. She should have told Anna no. Should have kept up with her energetic little sister. Should have been able to catch her. Should have helped their mother with the spell. So many things she should have done. At the end of the day, it was Elsa’s failings that had torn their family apart. Her failings that put that fear in her father’s eyes, that took the recognition and light from her mother’s.

“I… I don’t know how,” Elsa admitted quietly, voice thick with tears. “Done correctly, there shouldn’t have been any side effects to the spell at all. I was never taught what to do if it went wrong. And I--”

So much time had passed. 

Was there anything left of their mother to recover?

“My magic… it’s not just the ice. Or the snow. My magic also deals with memories,” she explained. “It’s… complicated. Older than I am by the whole age of the world. Maybe some of the other Northuldra know how to fix it, but I’m the first in… ages. I don’t know who would have that knowledge, or where.”

It should have been her. She was supposed to hold the memories of their people. That’s what her magic was for, protecting the memories of the Northuldra; their customs and ways. That’s why Mother and Aunt Yelena had wanted her to spend more time in Solensby. But she’d never begun her training, had never visited Ahtohallan.

She just didn’t know.

ANNA

“Well--” Anna stopped herself because she realized she didn’t really know where that sentence was going. 

In a sense, Anna was used to things having a relatively easy solution. It was part of why she had come out to Swynlake in the first place. She had thought could convince Elsa to come home and make up with Dad, and to heal Mom, and to bring the family together. Life was full of problems, but there was always a logical next step. Nothing was impossible.

But now, Anna could see why it wasn’t exactly that simple. Where did a person even start trying to learn this stuff?

She sighed. “I guess I don’t either, but I… I want to help.” Maybe it was naive, but Anna still thought that maybe if they could help Mom, then Dad would see how much good magic could do. That it wasn’t just scary and dangerous. And maybe that would put all of the pieces together. Anna now knew that things would never again be the way they were before, and she herself still felt like she could never see her father the same way after last week, but there had to be something she could do. There had to be a way forward. 

“I know you don’t think this is my fault, but I’m still a part of it. And, like, more than that…” Anna hesitated, but continued. “I want us to be a family again. There’s some stuff I don’t know if I can forgive Dad for, and I know you have your own stuff, but at least if we can try to…” Her voice caught and Anna swallowed hard. “It’s, er, stupid, I guess. But I just thought, like, I see all my friends with their families, and I want, maybe… I dunno.” She went back to playing with the bead on her bracelet and tried to concentrate on not crying. Why did everything about this always make her want to cry?

ELSA

Elsa got it. Really, she did. There was a time when she would have done anything, sacrificed anything, just for the chance for their family to go back to the way it was before. She missed her mother. She missed her father. She missed knowing that they loved her, knowing she could love them back without fear.

But she’d given up so much of herself and yet here they still were. Broken into pieces, lying to each other and fighting over those lies, doing whatever they could to make it hurt. There had been no love in her father’s eyes when he confronted her in the Ice Queen. She’d given up half of herself to try and earn that love back, to try and make up for the damage she had caused, and what had she gotten back for it?

She understood wanting to hold on. To fix things. But maybe… maybe it was time for Elsa to just… let go.

Elsa looked down at her hands, tinged with blue and dusted with frost. She could barely feel her fingertips anymore, and she was starting to fear that she could do permanent damage to them. She clenched her hands tight and tucked them against her chest before looking up at Anna. “We will always be family,” she said quietly. “No matter what, I will always be your big sister, Anna, and I will always love you. More than you will ever know.”

Elsa would never get her father back. She saw that now. But maybe… if she got her magic back under control… she could help Anna get her family back.

ANNA

For some reason, that felt like a gut punch. Of course Elsa was family. And of course that would always be enough.

Maybe, Anna reflected, it wasn’t really about that. It was just that Anna had this idea about family, from books and movies and the people she met here. It was about being able to complain about your parents being cringey in public, and being able to bring your friends cookies that your mom baked, and having a million stupid fights to reminisce on with your siblings. It wasn’t that Anna didn’t have a family. It was that she didn’t have a conventional one.

And when she thought about it that way, Anna felt even more stupid for feeling like that. It all came down with her habit of comparing herself to other people, she supposed. 

“Yeah. I love you too,” Anna said simply, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve again. Elsa looked cold. Colder than usual. Anna knew that was just her magic, but she couldn’t help but feel that something might be wrong. Had she said something? Anna didn’t want Elsa to think that just because she had been hurt by the secrets, she thought less of Elsa. Anna still wanted this relationship. “Are you-- are you okay? That was, er, probably a lot.”

ELSA

Elsa let out a small, tired laugh, pressing her hands under her arms to try and warm them a bit in her sweater. She was used to running pretty cold, but over the past week instead of comfortably cool, she felt like a void in which no heat could be found.

“Honestly? This whole week has been a lot,” Elsa said. “I... I think it’s for the better, though. I needed the wake up call and you needed the truth.” She caught Anna’s eyes. “I’m sorry for keeping it from you for so long,” she said sincerely. “I promise I’ll try to not to keep anything like that from you again.” She didn’t expect Anna to believe her right away, not after lying to her for almost thirteen years, but Elsa knew this was a promise she’d keep. 

Despite everything, now that Anna knew what she’d done, it felt like a weight had been lifted from her chest. She didn’t have to live with the anxiety of her finding out anymore, now all Elsa had to do was wait to see how Anna would react once it all sunk in. So far she was handling it well.

ANNA

Anna supposed that she could stay mad. It would be within her right, probably-- every time she remembered overhearing that conversation, she got upset all over again. 

But it wasn’t like she didn’t understand where Elsa had come from with it. Anna had her own secrets. There were so many things she never told Dad about, her Instagram and what she was really studying and her who her friends were and Devyn… and that last one made Anna feel especially guilty, because Devyn didn’t deserve that. But Anna could understand not wanting to bring something up because it was simpler and because you didn’t want to get into an argument about it or ruin a relationship.

It was a tricky thing. Especially when it came to family.

And maybe… yeah, the truth was that Anna had tried really hard to build this relationship with Elsa, and she didn’t want to lose it. So Anna nodded. “I forgive you,” It was hard to know what else to say. Honestly, Anna kind of just wanted to stare at the ceiling for a while or something. “Erm… I think I’m gonna go for a walk. But I’ll text you later. Okay?”

ELSA

‘I forgive you.’

It was really only in direct response to her own apology, but something about those words loosened something in Elsa’s chest that had been knotted and tangled for years. The knots weren’t gone, not really, but it was easier to breathe around them. Easier to think about anything else. Elsa took a slow, deep breath and when she let it out, she could feel the frost that had surrounded her on the floor melt away into the air, not even leaving a wet patch on the floor. For the first time in a while, the use of her magic had been easy, instinctual...

She hadn’t even realized how badly she’d needed to hear those words, even out of context.

Elsa knew a dismissal when she heard one, and she knew she needed to give Anna some time to process everything. “Of course,” she said with a nod, pushing herself upright. She rolled the sleeves of her sweater back down, but she tucked her gloves back into her pocket instead of tugging them on. Maybe getting some sun on her skin would help get the feeling back.

She hesitated for a moment, not wanting to just walk out after all had been said. Taking another deep breath, bracing herself, Elsa walked closer to Anna and knelt so she could give her little sister a small kiss on the head. She didn’t linger, didn’t want to push her luck, hell-- she wasn’t even sure if Anna wanted her that close. But Elsa felt a little better for it. “We’ll talk more later, Sunshine,” she said softly, giving Anna a weak smile. “Get some rest.” 

With that, Elsa walked back to the door and let herself out, only hesitating for a moment before walking into the hallway with her head held high. Only the slight chill in the air to show she’d ever been there at all.

ANNA

Once Elsa was gone, Anna climbed up her loft ladder and flopped on her bed. This was… strange. Anna wasn’t really used to forgiving people, or being in the position to. It wasn’t like she had never been in a disagreement before. It was just usually her own fault. So having that power to decide that kind of thing was peculiar. 

She didn’t want Elsa to think she was mad at her. Anna pulled out her phone and started writing a text, and then changed her mind when she couldn’t find the right wording for it. Maybe later, once Anna knew how she felt about all of this. Because it was all so new. And somehow, Anna had even more questions now than she had had before.

If only she could talk to Mom about this. The thought made Anna ache inside.

The room was too cold. Anna climbed down from her bed and put on a pair of shoes, then stuck her earphones in and put on her #sadgirlhours playlist (mostly a lot of Lorde and some Taylor Swift). But she didn’t go for a walk like she told Elsa she would. She climbed up the stairs Eilonwy had shown her and lounged on the roof, soaking in the June sunshine. With her eyes closed, she could be anywhere. Eventually, Anna would have to come back to reality and face what she had learned. But… maybe not now. Not yet.

[peak-dumbass]

Thoughts on rewatch of seasons 2-5 cuz reasons :/

I’ve never really liked Darreth and I thought rewatching the seasons might change that.

I was wrong.

I don’t see him as a “bad character” really, I was never really interested in him and never really found him funny.

Now Misako on the other hand...I’m not gonna talk about much she bothers me cuz people have already made entire posts about that topic...

But I am just gonna say that even evil Lord Garmadad was a far better parent than what she was and ever will be for the rest of the series.

And it doesn’t help that she starts falling for/flirting with Wu right in front of Lloyd.

And she said that the only reason she even fell for Garmadon in the first place was a letter. A single letter. No back and forth, no bonding, no talking out their feelings, no. She says that the only thing that made her fall for him in the first place was that singular letter.

Sorry for that rant, I guess I did talk about why she bothers me, and I didn’t even mention the pointless-abandonment-of-Lloyd thing, but like I said there’s entire posts about that so let’s just move on.

Garmadon is as great as ever but at the end of season 5 when Lloyd leaves the cursed realm and Wu says that’s he’s wearing Garmadon’s clothes, does that mean that Lloyd took off his father’s clothes and thus has seen Garmadon in only his underwear also where did Lloyd’s original clothes go and how did he get Garmadon’s shirt off cuz I don’t think you could get the sleeves over the chains on his wrists?

Zane’s head could be used as a light bulb and that’s great

Bizarro bois were great and were gone too soon :’<

Cole x Cake is the best ship fight me

Zane season 2: nindroids can’t dream

Zane season 3: I can dream

Make up your mind Zane, can you dream or not we need to know!

Zane: no ones deserves to held captive, not even monsters.

Me: remembers echo Zane

Me: Dr.Julien wtf?!

Overlord is a good villain

is what I WOULD HAVE SAID IF ZANE DIDN’T SACRIFICE HIMSELF TO KILL YOU MONSTER!

I also liked the idea of the liquid evil/whatever the purple stuff was that made people be come evil/dark matter ninja and Nya but then I came to the sad reality that no one else cared about them like I did :’<

The end of season 2 Garmadad and seasons 3-5 Garmadad have completely different faces

Ed and Edna are great parents and characters in general unlike a certain mother

I love Pixal💜

I love Skylor🧡 orange is Cole’s color but ok

Kai f—king hates technology and it seems like everyone ignores that fact but I think it’s a nice fact

Cole nearly floats off into space and f—king dies and literally no one talks about it

Zane just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA:(

I LOVE YOU BUT F—K PYTHOR YOU LITTLE SH-T THIS IS YOUR FALT >:(

Karlof is a nice character and I like him

Cole👏and👏Zane👏hold👏hands👏through👏the👏barred👏doors👏

I👏LOVE👏THEM👏👏👏👏👏

Kai sucks at skating and I love him

Jay is good at skating and I love him

I never really liked Cole and Jay’s fighting over Nya cuz it’s annoying and stupid and Cole is clearly gay

Kai when he finds out he might be related to Skylor: Alabama 100

Evil Kai Evil Kai Evil Kai Evil Kai Evil Kai Evil Kai Evil Kai Evil Kai Evil Kai Evil Kai-

Lloyd: who are you?

Morro: I’m you but I can say f—k

Kai overworks himself to save Lloyd from Morro and passes out after Lloyd comes back from the other realms and is later comforted by his polyninja bois aka polyninja Kai angst? Yes please If you don’t know what I’m talking about check out @rinas-ninjas tumblr, they make some great stuff.

Lloyd misses Morro a bit due to him possessing Lloyd for so long aka malachite relationship from SU but ninjago edition? Also yes please.

Cole my poor boi :’(

I love him :’’(

He didn’t deserve what Yang did to him :’’’(

Jay changing Zane’s voice is great

Zane: ‘tis good to see ye smile

Me: I LOVE MY BOIS🤍🧡

Nya being so tired of Jay and Cole’s bullish-t is honestly a mood👌

Also Nya comforting Ghost Cole 👌👌

Also just Nya in general 👌👌👌

Sensei Wu you should probably tell the ninja the ghost’s weakness BEFORE YOU SEND THEM TO FIGHT THE GHOSTS!

Ronin is great, I don’t have a lot to say on him I just think he’s a good character

Chen and Clouse are also good villains, don’t have a lot to say on them I just like them

Edit:

I remember this line and that’s one of the things that annoys me about her

Misako: I should have chosen you Wu, I regret my time with Garmadon.

Lloyd being child of the her and Garmadon: WTF Mom?!

>:(

I know she doesn’t actually say she regrets her time with Garmadon but that’s basically what she means

[the-sword-lesbian]

This War of Mine

Kate sat on the couch in the living room gently thumbing through a new book she’d picked up today. One of the joys of working on her own schedule was that she had plenty of free time to check out a tea shop or a new bookstore if she wanted. This one had caught her eye on the discount shelf, some sort of alternate retelling of Alice in Wonderland. She had to admit, she was enjoying it so far. She heard the garage door close and looked up to see her wife walking in looking tired.

She smiled at Victoria, “Hey Tori. Long day?” 

Instead of answering, the tall woman just dropped her purse and coat on the floor before kicking off her heels and crawling onto the couch to rest her head in Kate’s lap.

Kate started to sense something was wrong so she closed her book and started carding her fingers through her wife’s hair. “Honey are you okay? Rough day at work?”

Victoria just sighed “I haven't been at work.”

“Well then whe-”

“I just spent the last five hours at my lawyer’s office.” she interrupted.

“Wait what?” Kate was now very concerned. “Tori what’s wrong? What happened?”

She didn’t respond for a moment then after a while she exhaled a long sigh and said, “My parents are suing me.”

“WHAT?!” Kate already deeply disliked her inlaws, for numerous justifiable reasons. But the fact that they were still trying to control their daughter's life even at the age of forty-two just made her blood boil. “Why?? For what possible rea-” a terrifying thought struck her and she turned her wife’s head to look her in the eyes. “Tori… it's not…”

“It’s not about the girls.” she said, beleaguered green eyes staring up at her.

Kate breathed a sigh of relief, thinking back to the heart-wrenching six weeks they spent five years ago when Victoria’s parents tried to take custody of her children under some deeply misguided notion of ‘protecting their legacy’. That she and Victoria were somehow corrupting their children by supporting Maddie and letting her be her truest self. She looked back down at her wife. “So then… what do they want?”

Victoria looked up at Kate staring deep into those loving hazel eyes. “They’re trying to sue me for licensing of the name ‘Chase’… Because of the galleries.”

Kate just stared down at her wife in disbelief. “That’s… completely ridiculous.”

“I know”

“Then why are they doing it?” Kate asked, still stunned at the absolute shamelessness of Victoria’s parents that they would try to take her to court over her name of all things. “They can’t seriously think they’ll win can they?”

The taller woman closed her eyes and curled further into her wife’s lap. “Jealousy probably? I've been doing leagues better than them for a while now.” Victoria sighed again as Kate continued running her fingers through her wife's short blonde hair. “And as far as if they think they can win? At this point I think they’re just grasping at straws.”

“Are you worried?” Kate asked

“A little. I think.” her voice came out so small, none of that haughty self-assuredness that she wore like armor everyday. “But John and the others assure me they can’t win. That their entire campaign boils down to baseless attacks and money-grubbing. He said any judge will see right through them.”

Kate opened her mouth to respond but Victoria continued.

“Still though…” She paused for a bit in thought and Kate could tell she was nearing tears. “I thought I was done with them. After last time and the restraining order, I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with them anymore.”

“Shhh Tori.” She reached down and wrapped her arms around her wife despite the awkward angle. “We’ll keep fighting them as long as we have to. And I’ll be there to support you every step of the way.”

Victoria squeezed her eyes shut to fight back the tears and wrapped her arms around the shorter woman’s waist. “I love you so much Katie.”

Kate pressed a kiss to Victoria’s head. “I love you too Tori.”

After a while Victoria reached up to wipe her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater “Sorry for missing dinner.”

Kate chuckled. “You didn’t miss much. It was just me and Ellie. She’s out in the hammock doing some reading for school.”

Victoria raised an eyebrow and snickered. “She’s outside? It’s raining.”

She shrugged. “She’s under the porch, plus she likes the rain.”

“I guess.” Victoria conceded, then after a moment. “But then wait, where’s Maddie?”

Kate grinned conspiratorially, like she was reveling in a secret she wanted to hide. “She’s on a date.”

Victoria narrowed her eyes. “What’s his name? Where did she meet him?”

“Her name is Ameera.” She tried not to laugh at the deer in the headlights look her wife was giving to her. “And she’s on the soccer team with Ellie.”

The taller woman just laid there stunned looking up at her wife, blinking occasionally. “O-kay…” after a bit more blinking she spoke again. “Katie you’re going to have to clarify for me how our daughter Madeline, the most boy-crazy person I have ever met, is on a date, with a girl.”

This time Kate did laugh. “Apparently she made a very compelling case for herself, or so I’m told.”

“...and?”

Kate laughed again. “Oh I don’t know Tori, I found out second hand from Ellie. Something about she thought Maddie was very pretty and talented, and she new she’d only ever dated boys but she wanted to ask her anyway to see what Maddie thought, and if at the end of it she decided she wasn’t interested then no hard feelings and they could be friends instead.”

Victoria sat there for a minute, processing all that. “Huh… Well, I have to admire the girl for trying. I wonder how it’s going.”

“Well I don’t think you’ll have to wait long to ask.” Kate said, looking up. “I see headlights in the driveway.”

Victoria joined her wife in staring at the front door. While they watched a pair of silhouettes walk up the stairs, stand there for a second, lean in together, and then one leave and the headlights drive away before the front door unlocked and their daughter walked in with a smile on and noticed the both of them staring.

“Uhh…” She started after a second. “Hi moms?”

They both responded at once.

“Soooo?” “How was your date?”

The teen giggled. “Nosey much?”

Victoria scoffed, “We’re your mothers, it’s our job.” 

Maddie rolled her eyes. “Well if you haaaaaaave to know. It was a perfectly nice date, we walked in the park for a bit until it started raining and then she took me to dinner at this greek place then drove me home.”

Kate replied. “So? What do you think? Potential for a second date?”

The young girl sat on the seat across from them, eyes in her lap, and thought to herself for a moment before responding. “I don’t think so. It was a good time, and she’s really sweet, but I don’t think I’m interested in girls in that way.”

Victoria narrowed her eyes and grinned, “But you did kiss her...”

Maddie looked up at her mother, wide-eyed with a blush cascading down her cheeks. “Oh my gosh. Mama!”

Victoria snickered at that. “That isn’t a ‘no’ Madeline Chase. Plus the front door is glass, kind of hard to miss that.”

The teen was well and truly flustered, stuttering out a reply. “I-I gave her a goodnight kiss. On the CHEEK. Because she deserved it for taking me out on a wonderful date.”

Her mother smiled at her. “I’m sorry Maddie, I’m just teasing you. I’m glad you had a nice night.”

Maddie crossed her arms and turned her head away in a faux pout before seeing Victoria’s coat and bag on the floor and not hung up and put away as she was normally so fastidious about doing. “Mama?” She looked back towards her mother with concern. “Is everything okay?

Victoria gave her a soft smile. “Everything’s fine honey. Just a long day at work.” She hoped it sounded more convincing than it felt.

“Okay.” she said seemingly appeased. “Is Ellie home?”

Kate nodded towards the porch. “She’s out back.”

Maddie smiled at her mothers before she hopped up and practically skipped over to the back door, going to join her sister in the oversized hammock.

Kate looked down at her wife. “You’re not going to tell her?”

Victoria exhaled a long breath. “No. My parents have caused her enough stress to last a lifetime. I can handle this without her or Ellie having to worry.” She reached her hand up to softly touch Kate’s cheek. “Plus… I know I can lean on you when things get hard.”

Kate smiled at her before leaning down to press their lips together. “Always.”

[goldenavenger02]

I don't wanna miss you like this

Jay had always been a light sleeper. And maybe, just maybe, that was a good thing. Takes place after Day of the Departed

•••

Jay had always been a light sleeper.

His mom said that ever since he was a baby, a crash from something falling on the other side of the junkyard would wake him up out of a deep sleep almost instantly.

It was the one thing that never went away, and while it was good in case of emergencies, when he was just trying to sleep after fighting Samukai, finding out Cole was human again and the others were screaming on the other side of the Bounty was definitely not good.

Not to mention they were moving everything into the Airjitzu temple tomorrow, which he still had the feeling was haunted.

Jay rolled onto his left side, away from the door, and closed his eyes, trying to get comfortable on the bed and tune them out. 'Just think about Nya. Yeah, Nya…'

He smiled and started to settle in for the night, but that's when he heard it. Not Cole screaming particularly loud to respond to Kai, but something else; it was much softer. Someone was crying.

Jay sat up and kicked off his blanket before walking towards the bathroom where the sound was coming from, grabbing his nunchucks from beside his bed and tightening his grip around them slightly. 'Please don't be a ghost.'

He reached the door and knocked on it twice before questioning, "is there a ghost in there?"

When the sound continued, Jay swallowed, 'just get it together,' before wrapping his free hand around the knob, feeling that it was unlocked.

"This is against my best judgement," he lamented before opening the door and taking in the sight in front of him that definitely wasn't a ghost.

Lloyd was propping himself up on the sink counter with his elbows, something gripped in his right hand as his head hung low and he continued to make that sniffly crying noise.

Jay's heart hurt; he had to do...something.

"Lloyd?," Jay watched as Lloyd's head whipped towards him while he wiped the tears against his sleeve in an effort to cover them up, "are you hurt?"

"N-no, I'm not."

"Do you wanna talk about it?," Lloyd shook his head so hard Jay thought he was going to dislocate his neck, "okay, do you want me to stay with you?," Jay watched as Lloyd hesitated, so he added, "I'm not gonna tease you for crying."

Lloyd nodded and hung his head over the sink again; Jay closed the door before propping against the wall. 'What do I even say to him?'

He looked down at Lloyd's right hand and realized what he was holding, which made everything click in his head. 'The picture of him and his dad.'

"You shouldn't bring paper into the bathroom, it's likely to get wet." Jay spoke aloud, immediately regretting it. 'Think before you speak. Now he's probably gonna blast you through the wall or something.'

"Y-you're right," Lloyd stuttered, glancing at the photo for a brief moment before letting it return to the sink, "I just m-miss him, and-"

"You didn't want the others to see you cry?" Jay offered softly, watching as the kid nodded again.

"Especially my mom and my uncle. It's been really hard on them, you know? I only knew him… the real him, for about three years."

"That doesn't mean your feelings are less important, Lloyd," his attention turned towards Jay, so he continued, "he's your dad, and you two went through the final battle together, and the whole situation with Pythor, and the Tournament of Elements. In the little time you had him, you two went through so much together, and if fighting nindroids and fake snakes isn't enough to bond with someone, I don't know what is." Jay smiled when he elicited a small laugh from Lloyd, "Not to mention, he's your dad. That's gotta amount for something."

Lloyd sighed and looked down at the sink for a second before turning back to Jay, "I don't suppose you went through anything like this with your dad."

Jay took a second to think, and in that second, he decided that he needed to tell Lloyd about Cliff Gordon. 'You shouldn't keep secrets from your team.'

"It's a little more complicated than that, but since you don't seem like you're sleeping anytime soon, I'm gonna tell you a story, and you're just gonna sit there and listen. Save questions till the end."

"You sound like my uncle." Lloyd snorted, and while Jay would usually take some offense to that, he also wanted Lloyd to stop crying, so he just ignored it and moved on.

"So, when we were trying to get to Stiix to stop Clouse, Nya didn't actually take my hand…"

•••

"... And so I wished that Nya had taken my hand, and that no one ever found the teapot, and everyone but Nya and I forgot what happened. So while my adoptive parents have always been there, I never met my parents and I'll probably never get to."

Lloyd nodded before looking down at the picture. "So, you get it? The whole "missing someone you feel like you barely knew'' thing?"

"Yeah, I do. But I didn't tell you that for pity or attention. I told you that so you know you have someone to go to who understands."

"Still stuck on the fact that your dad is Fritz Donegan," Lloyd snorted before wiping the tears off of his face, "like, what are the odds of that?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. If I ever tell Zane, I'll ask him to calculate them for me," Jay reasoned, unable to stop smiling now that Lloyd was in much better spirits, "however, we should really get some sleep now. It's getting late for both of us."

"Yeah, you're right." Lloyd agreed, walking towards his bed, but stopping at his nightstand and opening the drawer, placing the picture inside.

"Go ahead and get in bed, I'll tell Cole and Kai to shut up." He explained, hearing Lloyd call out "goodnight" before Jay closed the bedroom door.

He walked towards the main room, still in a bit of shock due to the fact he had just barred his soul to Lloyd when the whole Nadakhan was kinda supposed to stay between him and Nya, but like he had told himself, he couldn't keep that secret from Lloyd.

He made his way to the main room where Kai and Cole were screaming at the tv, clearly invested in Fist to Face Too, but he couldn't help but focus on the scar under Cole's hairline.

"Everything okay, Jay?" Kai asked, shaking Jay out of his thoughts, before snickering "did you see that ghost you're so convinced is haunting the temple?"

"No, I just came in here to ask you two to be quiet. Lloyd's having a rough night." Jay explained, seeing Kai and Cole go from joking to seriousness in an instant.

It wasn't lost on any of them that Kai had only grown more protective of Lloyd after Morro. "Do I need to go check on him?"

"Nah, I got him settled, he's trying to sleep now."

"Got it," Cole perked up before turning the volume on the TV way down, "we'll be more quiet. Promise."

"Thank you." Jay smiled, before turning to Kai, "if he wakes back up, I'll get you."

Kai nodded, which was Jay's cue to head back to the room and try to sleep, now that it was much quieter; but when he opened the door, he couldn't help himself from going over to Lloyd and gently tucking the blanket around his shoulders.

"There you go, Lloyd." He smiled softly before laying down in his own bed and taking in the peace and quiet.

Jay had always been a light sleeper.

And maybe, just maybe, that was a good thing.