#the family feels are Real. and i need to see the wedding content

[uswnt-has-my-heart]

The way they all just collapsed in on her and then immediately all tried to make her laugh ❤️ she gets so much abuse im so pleased that her family and friends support is so strong (family obviously including sue)

okay okay, guys WHEN IS THE WEDDING??

[nininikki]

divorced-ish — n. kento

content warnings: ex-husband!nanami, delusional!nanami (he’s cute tho)

author’s note: sigh i need him

ex-husband!nanami who just couldn’t stay away from you if he tried

ex-husband!nanami who you’d originally separated from on account of his work seeming to hold more priority over you, and then your newborn daughter.

ex-husband!nanami who still keeps a photo of you and the baby on his desk at his job (which, ironically, was the thing that ultimately led to his marriage failing). when asked by his nosey secretary why he still kept the photo, he only responded, “it’s my family. why wouldn’t i?”

ex-husband!nanami who had yet to actually finalize the divorce. but really, it wasn’t his fault. he just hadn’t gotten around to sending the papers over (or having them printed up at all), what with all those crazy shifts at work. oh, well, it didn’t matter. he would do it at some point.

ex-husband!nanami who had left you virtually everything in the not-so-finalized-divorce. the four bedroom, four bathroom house, your diamond 6 carat engagement ring, your wedding china, the aston martin db9 he had gifted you for your birthday, the park avenue apartment, the country house in monaco—all of it.

ex-husband!nanami who you had never been able to turn down whenever he stayed over just a little later after dropping the baby back off with you. the two of you would sit on the couch and catch up over a glass of wine. then one glass turned to two, then two to three. and for a minute it would almost feel as if you were still married.

nanami never ended up leaving until the late hours of the night. by which point you began to wonder where he’d gotten all the free time he couldn’t seem to find when you were actually married.

ex-husband!nanami who internally scoffed whenever you mentioned going on a date with another man.

“do you think you could watch her on saturday? i’ve got a date i really don’t wanna miss.” you’d asked at the tail end of an already too long (thirty minute) phone call.

nanami breathed a recognizable, pensive sigh on the other end, chewing through what he’d earlier told you was tempura, but considering how long it was taking him to answer, it may as well have been your nerves.

“you know i will, but, uh,” you heard him swallow. “a date?”

although your ex-husband didn’t exactly sound like he was joking, you couldn’t help the giggle that vibrated through your body. glancing at the clock on your nightstand that read eight-thirty and the baby sleeping soundly in the crib next to your bed, you propped the house phone between your ear and shoulder. what was the harm in killing another thirty minutes?

“yes, kento, a date. his name is scott. he’s an art dealer. i think you’d like him.”

“does scott know you’re still married?”

“separated,” you corrected him. “and no, he doesn’t. do you tell every woman who asks you out that you’re married?”

nanami hesitated for a second before answering, “yes, i do.”

ex-husband!nanami who came to your house with flowers and a store bought pumpkin pie for thanksgiving. more than you’d like to admit, you liked having him around for the holidays. he was so good with the baby, and so attentive to everything else. cleaning up all the leftovers and stray baby toys as the night came to an end.

it was nearing ten o’clock when he had successfully put the baby to sleep, and then came down to help you tidy up the downstairs. “y’know you didn’t have to buy a pie, right?” you told him after you’d discovered it hidden amongst the array of leftover pots and aluminum pans. “i know it’s your favorite. i’d have made you some.”

nanami brought his task at hand (loading the dishwasher) to a stiff halt and joined you at the island countertop. “but hey,” you added, tearing the lid off the pie. “we could see if it’s as good as the real thing.”

your ex-husband, usually the most well-spoken man you knew, could only stiffly nod in your direction while you retrieved a pair of shiny silver forks, still in the drawer they’d always been in. “and i got some whipped cream if you want.” you added as you gave him a fork, now taken aback by his sudden lack of speech. seriously, he hadn’t spoken this little since the year leading up to your separation.

what you didn’t know was that nanami couldn’t speak if he wanted to. he needed this. the three of you hadn’t had a real holiday together since last halloween, and even that was admittedly very bleak. “i miss you,” nanami blurted.

and he did. he missed your desserts for every holiday—savory pumpkin pie for thanksgiving, sweet apple pie for christmas, strawberry eclairs for valentine’s day. he missed opening his eyes every morning to the sight of your face smushed into a pillow, or a bit of drool gathering at the corner of your mouth. he missed coming home from work to the sight of you and the baby sound asleep on the couch. he missed being your husband, and even more knowing you were his wife.

ex-husband!nanami who spent the night fucking his ex-wife into the couch as though they were still married. wrapping you in his strong arms, while murmuring promises of change and betterment. “i’ll never go to work again, swear,” he said, shuddering between deep thrusts. “please just take me back, baby.”

[luveline]

May I request a roan & eddie & r's first outing after the wedding and roan is so happy she tells everyone "this is my mom"?

dad!eddie x (step)mom!reader —breakfast on the family moon

The sun is high in the sky that afternoon, and every breeze smells of salt and fresh flowers. Eddie turns his head one way and sees a field of lush green grass, turns it the other and finds himself looking out over the white stone monolith of the family hotel where you’re staying. 

Roan climbs up onto the solid wooden table next to empty plates smeared with syrup and melted chocolate, vying for a last strawberry as big as her hand. “You want that one, bub?” he asks. 

“Can I have it?” 

He bites off the stem. He’s not sure if that’s disgusting, but you’ve married him now, no take-backsies, and you aren’t here to see anyhow. He spits the green into a napkin and offers the fruit to his waiting daughter. “Okay?” 

“Thank you,” she says, catching it in her teeth. “All the fruits are so yummy here.” 

“Don’t talk with your mouthful, baby,” Eddie says. 

She shrugs, pulling her knees up. They’re red from crawling along the wooden table but unscathed, stark against the pale fabric of her dress’ skirt. 

“Look,” he says, pointing at the waiter standing near the restaurant's big patio doors, “the waiter’s gonna see you climbing all over the table and getting your spit on me.” 

Roan turns to look. Her behaviour remains unchanged. “Where’s mommy?” 

Eddie drags her backwards off of the wood and into his lap. He kisses her cheek, her forehead, hoping to imbue the intensity of what he’s feeling on to her —he’s never been this content in his life. He’s married you, and marriage is a piece of paper and all his heroes would laugh in his face but would they? Because what’s better than finding your person, and loving them, and getting to be loved back? “She’s getting another plate for you and your good appetite.” 

Roan’s been just as thrilled since the wedding. She cried a little on the plane from the changing pressure, but before and after that she’s been a vestibule of joy. She turns into his kissing to cuddle him by the neck, her arms around him and her hair tickling his throat. “Mommy said we can try surfing today.” 

“I know! Do you think you’re ready to surf? We got you that wetsuit, all we need is a boogie board.” 

“A what?” 

“It’s like a surfboard, but not so big,” he explains, stroking her curls back from her face absentminded, eyes scanning inside of the hotel restaurant for a hint of your pale dress. 

“I want a real surfboard.” 

“Mm, no, babe. You can’t carry a surfboard. It’s okay though, we’re gonna be on boogie boards too.” 

She leans back. “Can we have more breakfast?” 

“Let’s see what Y/N brings back.” 

You’re summoned by his name drop, edging toward the patio doors as you chat to one of the waiters. You’re laughing politely, attempting to point to your two Munson’s but struggling with the plates you carry, one in each hand, while drinks pressed between your arm and chest threaten to spill. The waiter takes one of your plates. 

“Aw, sugar, thank you,” you say, “it’s just there. I’m sorry.” 

“That’s why I’m here,” the waiter says with an easy customer service smile. 

You and the waiter approach and put down the plates and cups. “Hi, baby,” you say, visibly perplexed at Roan’s huge smile. 

“This is my mom,” Roan tells the waiter. 

“And she’s just as beautiful as you are, hun. You are a lucky guy,” he directs his last comment at Eddie. 

“You don’t know the half of it,” Eddie says. 

“We just got married,” you say proudly. 

“But how old are you?” the waiter asks Roan. 

She holds up five fingers, and then a sixth. 

“You were slow,” the waiter says to Eddie. 

“It’s not his fault, we’ve been engaged almost a year,” you say, “and we didn’t know one another until not even three years ago, so–”

Roan doesn’t care about the waiter’s confusion. She reaches for you where she’s sitting in Eddie’s lap, almost tipping onto the floor as she stretches as far as her arms can go. She whines until you take notice. 

“Hi,” you say, cutting yourself off to pick her up. “What, babe?” 

“I love you,” she says. 

You and Eddie laugh. The waiter makes a sound of understanding. “She looks like dad because you are the stepmom,” he says. 

“Just mom,” you say, giving her a little kiss. “She really does look like her dad though, huh? Except he’s not covered in chocolate.” 

“We can arrange that.” 

You laugh against Roan’s cheek, “I love you,” you say, just for her, “I got you a bowlful of strawberries, your skin is gonna turn pink ‘cos you’ve eaten so many. Love you.” 

Roan closes her eyes. She’s been smothered in love for a week straight and there’s no signs of it ever stopping. “I love you too. Let’s have melon.” 

“I got some.” 

Eddie nudges you back into your seat. “Alright, quick, we need to eat and sleep it off for an hour before we go surfing. Chop chop.”

“He’s so bossy,” Roan says.

“I know, baby. Don’t listen to him.” 

[nebulaafterdark]

Exile (Part 1)

Summary: Y/N Undersee thought the games were over after becoming a victor. Unfortunately, life outside the arena has become just as dangerous. Prequel to Moves & Countermoves

Trigger warning: forced prostitution, explicit sexual content, alcohol abuse and other mentions of trauma. 18+ ONLY

It’s a crisp autumn morning when Y/N wakes to a pounding at her door.

Bam!

Bam!

Bam!

She rushes down, still in her pajamas, flinging open the door to see what the emergency is.

Haymitch, her former mentor.

Haymitch, the town drunk.

Haymitch, her…friend?

“Haymitch, what’s wrong?” Y/N asks, moving away from the doorway as he stumbles in. Clearly intoxicated. Not in his right mind.

“I fucked up.” He snarls, anger rolling off him in waves.

“What do you mean?” Y/N follows him, until he comes to a stop, in her living room, pacing and pacing. Ready to come out of his skin.

“Congratulations, we’re getting hitched.”

“What?!”

“Snow…I don’t fucking know.” Haymitch scowls, “I wasn’t thinking.”

“Haymitch, please, what’s going on?” Her tone is frantic now, to match his own.

“He told me he wanted you to come work in the Capitol and I-“ Haymitch drags a hand over his face. “I lost it.”

“Work in the Capitol? Like as a stylist?” Y/N tries to make sense of it.

Haymitch lets out a bitter scoff, “this is just perfect. You are so- of course I have to be the one to tell you. Of course it has to be me who-” breaks your heart.

“Help me understand.” Y/N puts a hand out towards him. “I need you to tell me. Otherwise I’m clueless and I can’t help you if I’m clueless.”

“Help me? I’m trying to help you!”

“Tell me how.” Y/N tries again. “Tell me how getting married helps me. Or you, or anyone.”

“If I marry you, Snow won’t sell you.” There it is. The truth in it’s horrible entirety.

“He wouldn’t do that.” Y/N gasps.

“He would and he wants to.” Haymitch assures her. “Bad.”

“How do you know that?”

“He told me while I was…”

“While you were what?”

“Do you need me to spell it out?” Haymitch spits, his voice full of venom. “While I was fucking the highest bidder so you didn’t have to!”

Her eyes grow wide, welling with tears. That doesn’t make sense.

“Don’t fucking look at me like that.”

“I’m just,” she fumbles for the words. “I didn’t know. I could’ve married you before and-”

“And what?” Haymitch demands, taking a step toward her. “It’s bad enough that I have to make you my child bride-”

“I’ll be twenty in a few months.”

“And I’ll be thirty.” He says, pointedly. “Before you’re twenty.”

“Ten years and some change is not unmanageable. I’m sure lots of people-”

“Don’t patronize me.”

“I get it, you don’t want to marry me. I don’t particularly want to marry you either. But more than that, I don’t want anything happening to you when I have the power to stop it. I know you feel the same way or you wouldn’t have agreed to this when Snow brought it up. If we just work together, we don’t have to be miserable.” Y/N offers, wringing her hands anxiously.

“I want to keep my house.” Haymitch tells her.

“Sure.” Y/N has no qualms about it.

“And my liquor.”

“Of course.”

“What are your demands?” His blue eyes are frantic, wild.

Demands; as though they’re negotiating a business deal. “I want you to be honest with me about what’s happening.”

“Fine.”

“I want you to stop blaming yourself for everything that happens to me. It’s not your fault.”

“I’ll try.”

“And never refer to me your child bride.”

“Deal.”

“One more thing.” Y/N says, it’s more of an afterthought really.

“Name it.”

“I don’t want to be trapped in a loveless marriage. I want it to be real someday.”

He narrows his gaze, “ok.”

“Congratulations,” Y/N repeats his earlier sentiment. “We’re getting hitched.”

————————————————————————

The wedding is thrown together in a flash. In under a week, to be exact. Y/N’s family, Madge especially, doesn’t understand.

I thought you hated him?

When you’re older, I’ll tell you anything you want to know.

She protects her, because that’s what big sisters do.

All through the ceremony, the poofy wedding dress scratches at her skin. As if it knows she doesn’t belong.

The crowd of Capitol witnesses is massive, no family or friends. When it is over, the happy couple is escorted to their ‘honeymoon’ suite. A pristine, white room, with ivory bedding; topped with pale rose petals to match.

On the side table, a sealed envelope.

‘Mr. & Mrs. Abernathy,

tonight is cause for great celebration. One to be shared with beloved members of Panem. You will find cameras against the side walls, set to begin commemorating this joyous occasion, at 7:00pm this evening. I am sure you will perform accordingly, to ensure the safety of those you hold most dear.

Best regards,

President Snow.’

“We have to-“ Y/N chokes over the words.

“Tell me what you like.” Haymitch says, shrugging off his suit jacket.

“What I like?” Not this, anything but this.

“Look, we only have a few minutes to get warmed up before those cameras come on, there’s no time to be coy about it. Tell me how you like to have sex.”

“I don’t,” Y/N stammers, “I don’t know. I’ve never-”

“You’re a virgin?” Haymitch pales.

Y/N nods.

“Ok,” he shakes his head, to clear it. “That’s ok.” There’s nothing they can do about it now.

She’s shaking, trembling from head to toe. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re ok.” Haymitch soothes a hand up her arm. “I’ll never hurt you.”

Y/N nods again, “I know.”

“We’re gonna figure this out together, alright? But I need you to talk to me, let me know if you’re uncomfortable or if you don’t like something and we’ll reroute.” He can’t stop this, but he can make it good for her. He can get her through it.

“Ok,” Y/N sighs. Trusting him. Giving herself over to him.

They start with a kiss, his hands cradling her face as the cameras come to life. There are two, fully articulated and seeming to move of their own accord. But clearly they are being operated to catch the best angles.

After a while, Haymitch pulls back, slightly. His lips brushing hers as he murmurs, “I’m going to unzip your dress.”

Y/N startles at the words, toying with the buttons of his shirt. Undoing them to distract herself. She is trembling again.

Haymitch catches her hands in his, peppering them with kisses to calm her.

When they are both down to their underwear, Haymitch lies her back on the bed, situating her against the plush pillows. “Comfortable?”

“Yes,” she whispers.

“Good,” he half smiles. His lips meet hers, hands coming up to palm her bare breasts.

Her nipples tighten into peaks and she lets out a pretty little gasp.

“You’re perfect, you know that?” Haymitch breathes. “An angel. My angel.” He closes his thumb and forefinger around her left nipple, rolling it between his fingers.

Y/N cries out. She needs- she wants...

“Here.” Haymitch cooes, bringing his thigh flush with her sex.

“Haymitch,” her voice is pinched. Brows furrowed, sweaty and overwhelmed and all but sobbing.

“I’m right here, angel.” He noses at her cheek. “Never let anybody hurt you. Only make you feel good.”

And he does.

So heartbreakingly, mind numbingly good. Lowering his mouth to her right breast.

Y/N works herself to a fever pitch against his thigh. Grinding against him as he licks and plucks at her nipples. Coming apart against the coarse hairs of his leg.

“So pretty,” he encourages her to ride out her high. “My pretty wife.”

Oh. That’s right. She is his wife. The word twists uncomfortably in her gut. She isn’t supposed to like it. But she does. Haymitch is her husband and she is wife and the rest…really just semantics.

Through the cloud of lust fogging up her brain, Y/N registers that he is moving. A peck against her lips and then lower, lower, lower, “oh!” Her back arches, head pressing against the pillow.

He’s going to kill her, Y/N realizes. He’s going to kill her softly, with his face buried between her thighs. With his mouth on her…

“Haymitch,” the sound of her voice is light, dreamy and he sighs into her wetness. She’s going to kill him. God, she tastes like heaven. And sin. Her hands find his hair, holding him tight to her cunt.

“You can move, angel.” He whispers the reassurance into her heat.

Y/N whines, bucking up against his tongue.

“That’s it, sweet girl.” Fuck my face. Use me. Let me make it better.

“That feels so good.” Her brows pull together and her breathing hitches as his fingers join the exquisite torture. Stretching her open, getting her ready for him. Because Haymitch will never let anyone hurt her.

He sends her careening over the edge a second time.

How many times could she possibly-

She’s so wet by the time he poises himself at her entrance, any nervousness nearly lulled to submission.

“Just you and me.”

The head of him slides in easily, her eyes the size of saucers as he reaches her hymen.

He eases a hand between them, thumbing at her clit, soothing her, distracting her. “Just a little pinch.” He coos, feeling her tense. “I need you to relax.”

To her credit, she does try. Y/N is no stranger to pain but this is different, so different. He’s splitting her open, on the inside. “Ahh,” she squeals as he bottoms out.

“There you go.” Haymitch murmurs, sealing his lips over hers in a haughty kiss. He doesn’t move, only his fingers do, brushing her clit incessantly.

Her orgasm catches them both off guard. Haymitch affords her an appreciative grunt as her muscles spasm around him. But he never stops kissing her, drinking her in.

“You can move,” she says, after a long moment.

He fucks her so sweetly her heart aches. Like he loves her, like she’s the most precious thing in the world. Coaxing her slowly towards another climax.

Oh, no, no.

“It’s too much.” Y/N whines.

“I’ve got you.”

“I can’t,” she wails, feeling the coil tighten in her belly.

“You can, I promise.” Haymitch presses his forehead to hers, drawing gentle circles on her swollen bundle of nerves. “Nice and slow.”

Her fingers are in his hair, desperately clinging to him. “I’m-“ going to cum. Y/N realizes, much to her dismay.

“Good girl, angel.” Haymitch kisses her, swallowing her pleasure. “Such a good, sweet, girl.”

She’s overworked, overly sensitive, but his fingers circle and circle her bundle of nerves. Aching and slick with her arousal, the obscene sound of Haymitch moving inside her makes Y/N dizzy. It’s too much, too good and she’s too full.

Hot tears spill from the corners of her eyes and she’s sobbing. Cumming hot and hard all over his cock. Squeezing him, milking him for all he’s worth as she keeps cumming and cumming and cumming…

“Fuck,” Y/N cries, “holy fuck.”

Haymitch presses sloppy kisses to her damp cheek. “That’s fucking perfect, angel.” He empties himself inside her. Slumping against her, hiding her from view of the cameras. Not that it matters now.

She runs a hand along his back, absently.

When the cameras turn off and fold in on themselves, Haymitch pulls away.

Staring at her face, long and hard. Inspecting her for damage. But she looks content, sated.

“How did I do?” She asks, sweetly and he wants to die.

Rolling off of her without explanation and making a mad dash for the toilet. Managing to lock the door behind himself, before emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

When he returns, Y/N is curled in on herself, shoulders shaking. This is it, what he’d been afraid of.

He comes around, kneeling on the side of the bed, taking her hands in his. “I’m sorry, angel.”

“I’m sorry. I was just nervous, I’ll do better next time.” Her bottom lip quivers.

Oh, honey. Sweetheart. Angel. Don’t fucking do this to me. “You were perfect.”

“I made you sick.”

“No, please never think that I- that wasn’t because of you. Nothing you did. Just this whole thing is fucked. I didn’t want…to take anything else from you. It’s bad enough that you had to marry me, you shouldn’t have had to- and with the cameras-“ Haymitch breaks off again, scrubbing a hand over his face.

“So you didn’t hate…being with me?”

He shakes his head.

Y/N draws in a shuttering breath, attempting to settle her nerves.

“Come on, let’s get you in the bath.”

————————————————————————-

At her request, Haymitch doesn’t leave her alone. Instead he insists on bathing her.

She hisses as she leans up, the soreness between her thighs making itself known.

“I’ll get you something for that.” Haymitch frowns at the discomfort etched into her features.

A pill. Something for the pain.

“I’m ok,” Y/N shakes her head. I don’t want you to leave me.

“I know.” Haymitch assures her, “but you don’t have to be.” I’m going to take care of you now.

She leans into his touch as he continues running the damp cloth over her skin. “That feels nice, thank you.”

“Anytime.” He won’t let her rub her skin raw, the way he had after the first time he had to- Anything for you.

“I still want it to be real one day.”

“You tell me when it’s real and I’ll ask you to marry me again.”

“K.” Y/N tucks her bottom lip between her teeth.

Haymitch knows he’s in trouble then. When she’s looking at him like that. He knows it as he dries her off, dressing her in an oversized shirt meant for him. Knows it as she cries herself to sleep, curled up against his chest. He’ll burn this world to the ground for her.

Part 2

[spngi]

My tears ricochet | mafia!carlos sainz jr x reader

Prologue | part 1 | part 2 | Part 3| Part 4 |part 5| part 6

Part 7

summary: Mr. and Mrs. Sainz lived in a dream for many years, now everything is falling apart and they need to deal with their feelings

warnings:Grammar mistakes, mentions of violence, Carlos is an idiot, mentions of cheating, sexual content, angst.

I watch the man lying on my bed, Carlos is in the same position as the night before, breathing high and I can smell the alcohol of perspiration infesting the room. I open the curtains and windows and let the sun enter along with the breeze to clean the smell of the room.

The man doesn’t move, still too drunk to wake up and I know that an infernal hangover awaits him.

“Wake up” I pinch the skin of his shoulder and he just murmurs leaving me with no patience. “The phone doesn’t stop ringing and if I have to solve any other problem with ports and tax I’ll throw the phone at you, carlos”

He just grunts, opens his eyes slowly and regrets it immediately.

“Good morning,” he murmurs, hoarse voice.

“Good morning” I approach him and extend the cup of coffee with the medicines for him.

“What’s going on?” I watch him scratch his eyes and face me, his eyes stopping when he sees the green nightgown I’m wearing.

It was good to provoke Carlos, even more after everything he told me yesterday, it was good to leave him desperate the same way he left me. The green piece was just a good detail to add to Carlos’ punishment.

“That idiot from the Port of Brussels does not stop calling, I have already solved the situation but it seems that he is too incompetent or just can’t stand to receive orders from a woman” I murmur to Carlos “me and Charles are solving this, but your accountant is also calling to talk about taxes, and we have to leave in a few hours for your cousin’s wedding preparations.”

“I can just...” he breathes, closes his eyes. It’s a lot of information for his head exploding and I could even laugh if I was in the mood. “Lay down for a while? Lie down with me, let’s forget all these calls”

This time I can’t help laughing, Carlos’ words funny enough for my state of mind. As if nothing had happened, as if that was his way of fixing things.

“Get up, Carlos! We still have to pack our bags” I murmur to him, leaving towards the closet.

“You look beautiful in green” his voice resonates groggy around the room.

“I know”

...

It’s strange to share the joy of creating a bond from a new family when mine was falling around. Although I still didn’t know exactly what to do, and the presence of carlos behind me wherever I went like a shadow left me stunned, the word divorce kept returning to my mind.

Maybe it was time for me to give up after all.

The excitement of being with the sainz family, the effort I had in buying the best wedding gift that this couple could receive, the joy in the eyes of the bride for knowing that she would soon carry the surname sainz as well. None of this was able to cheer me up, and I felt like an intruder taking off the luck of the couple.

I had once read in a Lima Barreto book the following phrase “we did not understand each other, their joys were not mine, my pains were not even perceived” and I never felt so represented.

Carlos seems to want to surround me, fill me with his attention, with his affection but that only makes me more uncomfortable, because I know that morning he didn’t choose me when he received that phone call, didn’t even think of me twice or doubted that I had done that. I think I could only really get over it by hearing him apologize, real apologies as an adult man and not that drunk show he gave the other night.

The shared hotel room becomes small enough for me, suffocating with the presence of Carlos. And the game of teasing each other ends up becoming a fierce trap.

I regret having started this game the moment I realized that I couldn’t get away from Carlos here, miles away from our house sharing a normal size hotel room. So every time I showed up before getting dressed or just in a towel after the shower I needed to hear him begging so that he could have me or just touch me, and for most of the nights I need to sleep frustrated with all the words and promises that I don’t let Carlos fulfill.

It is on the night of the rehearsal dinner, the day before the morning of the wedding that I let myself be defeated, maybe if I just let things flow I would feel better, I would remember what it was like to have a happy marriage and Carlos has always provided infinite amounts of pleasure.

I wait for Carlos to get out of the shower, sitting on the end of the bed, watching the TV passing an old movie, waiting and hoping that Carlos will continue begging tonight and don’t leave me a desperate mess today.

When he finally appears in only sweatshirt pajama pants and watches me, sitting, wearing only the old Real Madrid t-shirt of Carlos that became my pajamas a long time ago.

“You’re beautiful, I don’t get tired of saying that” he speaks, hoarse voice and body leaning on the door stop. “Please, cariño! Please let me show you how much I appreciate you, that I love you”

His voice comes out desperate and when he calls me cariño I can’t avoid the chill crossing my body. He realizes and takes the opportunity to get closer to me.

“Please” he whispers, kneels in front of me, brown eyes never breaking the contact, his hand is content to hold my ankle and kiss the area there. “Let me just be with you again, prove you, please I’m begging”

“Why did you do this to us?” I ask him, the same foot he holds I use to move his body away from mine.

“Because I couldn’t see you grow up and be like me,” he admits, “And I’m sorry I didn’t believe you, I know that words will never fix this but I want you to know that I will do everything for us”

I loosen the strength of my leg against him and let him get closer.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks.

“Don’t make me regret it” I murmur to him who doesn’t waste time, the big hands pull me by the waist and the mouth joins in mine. He is desperate and anxious after so much time away and provocation.

Carlos’ hands explore the sensitive skin under the t-shirt, the light touch of his fingers making me more anxious for him, pulling the black curls of his soft hair in the form of retribution. He takes the T-shirt off my body in a single movement when he separates the kiss, his hot mouth going down kisses around my neck, lap and letting himself play with my nipples, his teeth rubbing on the sensitive skin, he is still kneeling between my body, his hands holding my waist keeping me still with his grip, delivered to him.

“Carlos” I call his name, lust flowing from my voice.

“Don’t worry, darling. I’ll take care of you” he murmurs, his mouth slipping through my body, one of his fingers caressing the already wet fabric of my panties and I hear him moan along with me when he realize that I’m already like this at his slightest touch.

I kiss him again, my hands firm on Carlos’ back probably leaving nail marks, he bites my lip and I moan, my panties going to the ground in a quick gesture coming from him, his right hand playing with the proximity of where I want him the most.

He separates the kiss, arrogant smile on his face before bending down to where I need him the most, leaving small kisses on the sensitive skin of my thigh and getting even closer, and when he arrives in my pussy I let myself lay my body on the bed, my breathing already heavy with the slightest touch. Carlos’ mouth explores my intimacy, my feet resting on his shoulders, one of his hands squeezing my chest while the other focused on provoking my entrance with his fingers, his tongue leaving me a mess crying out for him and after all this time I didn’t know if I was still prepared for all the pleasure that carlos could provide.

He devours me like a hungry man, making me squirm in the hotel bed, my hand trying to cover my mouth to stifle the unnecessary amount of moans coming out of it. Although Carlos had a provocative nature, today he had no patience for this, he wanted to catch up on lost time, leaving my high getting bigger and bigger, and the closer I get the more I move.

“I need you to stand still, mi reina” he murmurs, his head tilted up slightly, his mouth swollen, his thumb making slow and torturous circles on my clitoris. And all this vision makes me moan even more his name, he laughs and uses both hands to hold me against the bed, the strong squeeze in my ass. He continues his exploited, knowing that I wouldn’t last much longer that way, the way I pull more and more of his curls leaving him alert of how close I am.

He continues with slower movements even after realizing that I finally came, my head is in an eternal wheezing due to the pleasure I felt and when I open my eyes I slowly observe Carlos, now standing on the end of the bed watching the work he did, he licks his lip and then his fingers and only this action makes me squirm in bed.

“God how I missed you” he murmurs still standing.

“It was you who put yourself in this position” admirably I still have the strength to answer.

“I know, and I regret it every day” he puts one of his knees on the bed and leans over to my body, his hand caresses my disheveled hair “I will never be able to be grateful enough that you insisted on me”

I know that his words are true, I see in the back of his eyes the emotion this time, it is exciting at least to know that he is opening up to me again, to know that I can read his eyes as before and not the icy astonishment he stared at me in recent months. But, again, the memory of knowing that I didn’t put myself in this situation, that I wasn’t my husband’s first choice makes me nauseous. Then I pull him again for a kiss, more delicate this time, without all urgency and hurry, just showing each other’s devotion.

Not even after the four hallucinating orgasms and the most intense fuck I’ve ever had in one night, and after sleeping like a little angel, full of endorphins and in Carlos’ warm arms I wouldn’t be prepared for what would come next. Even after the morning sex, intimate and slow, full of caresses and whispers, declarations of love spread everywhere. I still wasn’t prepared for the weeding day.

I didn’t know I wasn’t prepared for the wedding ceremony, I didn’t know I would feel terrible at every step.

When I joined the bride for the preparations, and I looked at her, wondering if maybe the future that awaited her would be like mine, I wonder if I forgot some tradition during the wedding for it to have lasted so little, Carlos had never seen the wedding dress I wore, I wore a veil, I had a wreath on my head, I had my new piece, an old one borrowed and I had the blue too, I did all the right things and I still envy the innocence of the future Mrs. Saiz in front of me.

I laugh when they comment on how lucky I am, and how the men of the sainz family have the motto of being gentlemen and romantic and I imagine that mine certainly came with a factory problem.

The worst part is the ceremony, and my tears that I can no longer hold mix with those of the other guests who cry with emotion. I watch Carlos on the other side of the altar, next to the other godparents of the wedding, he smiles at me. He doesn’t understand the real reason I’m crying, his eyes seem nostalgic and maybe he’s remembering the day we got married, how he cried when he saw me at the altar, how my dress made me absolutely angelic as he repeated so many times on that special day, how we couldn’t help but smile with the realization that we were finally married.

My heart breaks with every word prophesied by the priest, with every vow I hear the bride and groom speak, with every good memory I had and was destroyed.

“I carlos oñoro sainz, receive you, Maria, as my legitimate wife. I promise to be faithful, love you and respect you. In joy and sadness, in health and disease, in wealth and poverty, for all the days of our lives. So receives this alliance as a sign of my love and my fidelity” the groom recites the vows, the most sacred laws of a marriage and I can only think of how they were all broken.

In how there was no fidelity, support and unity, in how Carlos and I managed to ruin everything, to break something so sacred.

I feel suffocated in the pink dress that matches that of the other bridesmaids, I clean the controlled tears that run down my face before I become a mess.

And it didn’t matter the way Carlos held my hand during the reception, or how he danced romantic songs with me and made slow and passionate love to me at the end of the night, I was already decided when I left that church.

I just didn’t imagine that it would be at a wedding that I would decide to end mine.

We are coming to an end 😭

I don’t know you were waiting for this or what your bets for how things will end but let me know, I love receiving your opinions and I can’t post nos because it may contain spoiler lol 😂

Thank you all ❤️❤️❤️

[jacespookiebear]

ೃ࿐ 𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙪𝙡: 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 7

summary : you are the youngest daughter of Viserys I Targaryen and Aemma Arryn. Outlived your mother and your older twin brother, Baelon, in childbirth. You were titled as (Y/n) “The Undying” Targaryen.

pairing : jacaerys velaryon x targaryen!reader

warnings : incest, tension, sexual content, age gap (reader is about 2-3 years older), jace is about a year older in this fic, misogyny, self-harm, violence, angst, teen pregnancy, birth, meraxes is alive and thriving with vhagar :D

Masterlist

It was the big day. Your wedding. Well you could say your weddings. You had decided to keep it quick, you would marry under the seven while you were all still in King’s Landing. The happiest look on your step-mother’s face when you said this, smothering you in kisses before letting you be attended by Lysanna.

“How are you feeling?” Lysanna asked, placing your hair in a pretty hairstyle with braids crowning your head with the silver snood tucked underneath that she placed on your hair, curling all of the hair that was left down with her hands. You took a deep breath in to breath it all out, you were getting married in an hour, you never felt so nervous in your entire life. But it wasn’t official until you got married at Dragonstone. This could be seen as practice, except it was seen as real to your step-mother.

Lysanna helped you of your night gown and started lacing the wedding gown tight around your waist, it looked marvelous. “I am alright. I do hope it’ll be quick.” you answered, playing with your rings once again, twisting them up and down your fingers.

Lysanna let out a “hmph” before talking, “You truly look like a Princess on her wedding day.” The words danced around your mind, the anxiety wasn’t going down anytime soon. “Drink some water, please.”

About to ask if Lysanna needed help with changing once you sipped out of your cup but noticed quickly that she had already finished readying herself. You both walked to the celebration hall instead of the Sept. You let Lysanna enter the hall to join the rest of your family, you were waiting for your father to join you by your side, “my sweet daughter, you look beautiful.” he kissed your cheek as your handmaiden came over to place your House colors cloak around your shoulders, it had your sigil as well. The doors had opened and everyone turned to see who was revealed, you stepped inside to begin walking towards your soon-to-be-husband. Both of your families separated on each side, feeling a tug at your hand, you turned to your father who gave you a smile to which you return with a slight one. Your main focus was on Jace, his attire contained of black and gold, the gold appeared to be more darker than the gold that was on your dress. His jewelry seemed to ones that were once owned by his father, the sapphires and emeralds shining from the light on the windows.

He looked very dashing and seemed like Daemon had to help which made you smile even more. You had arrived walking down the aisle and stood next to Jace, he held no smile or emotion on his face. You understood why, he’s forced into a wedding he had no desire for. He held dislike for the Faith and you knew this. Your guilt was starting to come back.

You kept your eyes on the Septon who spoke for minutes that seemed like hours about the Faith and how you should devote yourself to the Seven. You turned to look over to your family, your sisters were smiling ear to ear and looking genuine. Daeron was also smiling and only nodded towards you once you gazed at him, mouthing to you, “you’ll be okay.” Aemond looked rather emotionless to you as well, you planned on speaking to him before you would have to leave. As for Aegon, he was staring off to space and not caring for the wedding at all, he was absolutely drunk and everyone could tell from the way he was always losing balance until Otto shoved him to act right. Daemon was holding onto Luke and Rhaena to keep them by his side while the Septon was speaking, you swore you saw Rhaena squeezing Daemon’s arm.

It had finally came to taking off your cloak. You gently took off the cloak by yourself, not wanting to worry your father since he already had use most of strength to walk you down and give you away. You folded it slowly, setting it on the ground next to you and Jace.

As well as Jace took off his cloak, with House Velaryon and Targaryen colors and their sigils on the cloak, he draped it over your shoulders. You held the cloak close to you, not wanting to let it go. After placing the cloak on you, he spoke his vows, “With this kiss I pledge my love and take you for my lady and wife,” he finished.

You gave him a genuine smile before starting your vows, “With this kiss I pledge my love and take you for my lord and husband.” The Septon now granted you both were married, “You are one flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever,” he finished, closing the book. You both connected hands and slowly, you reached to kiss him on the lips. It was more of a peck than a kiss, it was your first kiss— you had no idea what you were doing. Lowering your head in embarrassment, trying to hide your head away from him but it did not help.

Alicent was the first to clap, smiling happily during the whole ceremony. Everyone all followed to clap but not as enthusiastically as your step-mother. You and Jace walked down together, hand-in-hand, not making any effort to speak to one another. You separated ways to head to your chambers to change, you were traveling back to dragonstone for your real wedding that was happening rather very soon. Though, this time it’ll only be you, Jace, and the rest of Rhaenyra’s family that will be attending.

So once you changed into your evening gown, you left the room as Lysanna called out your name, confused on where you’re going. You began to look around the castle for Aemond. To finally talk to him, to finally hug him, to finally-

“Sister?” Aemond called out, suspiciously, you turned to look to your side and found him standing by the corridors. His eyepatch was black, as dark as the midnight sky, his hair was getting more longer and his scar was healing day by day. He was getting older, and you weren’t here to see it. Immediately, you reached over and hugged him tightly. Sighing into the hug, he was rather left confused as you began to mumble.

“I have wanted to hug you ever since I arrived. Why have you been avoiding me, Aemond?” Removing yourself from his warmth, you stared into your brother’s eye, he pursed his lips and stared at his feet instead. Still grasping both of his hands and searching his face for an answer.

“I was afraid that..” he mumbled, afraid to finish his sentence. “that you have hated me after what had happened.” Finally answered, your eyes filling with tears and took him back into your arms. On your tippy toes, placing wet kisses all over his head, you knew he hated being babied by you but he let you do so. “My sweet brother, I could never hate you. You are my young brother and now we both ride the eldest dragons.” Holding his chin between your fingers, he no longer possessed chubby cheeks, his jawline was more defined.

The thought of you both riding Vhagar and Meraxes in glory was a great one, Aemond rubbed his thumbs on your waist as to soothe you both. “Marriage does not suit you, sister.”

You shook your head at his statement, you knew that as well. Your marriage was falling apart already, even your brother could see it. “I know.”

“It’ll get easier,” he muttered, “I shall be here for you.”

“Thank you.” you calmly said. Exchanging final goodbyes, you hugged him one last time. Your luggages were already packed since last night and they were out in the carriage. You bid farewell to your other family members, especially Helaena who had just received news from the maester that she was pregnant, you felt so distraught and disgusted that you can’t be here to help her. She was younger than you and was already having children. Promising her that she could arrive on dragonback to dragonstone anytime if she needed you or Rhaenyra.

“I’m so glad I got to see you sister,” Helaena whispered, the sadness was wretching your heart, at that moment you wished you could ask Rhaenyra if you could stay in King’s Landing just for a few months but you knew that was less likely to happen.

Giving her cheek a long and deep kiss before parting, “My sweet, you will see me again.” You felt like you were reassuring yourself more than to Helaena.

The ride back to dragonstone was a long and silent one. Rhaenyra and Daemon stayed inside the boat while you watched over Luke, Rhaena, and Liz who were playing with the wooden figures that belonged to Luke. All of your dragons flying above your boat, screeching to each other. You were nearly five feet away from Jace, sitting by the chairs that were next to the crashing waves, neither of you speaking. The silence was killing you, he was making no effort to talk to you but you could say the same for yourself.

You were wishing you were riding on Meraxes right now, you barely had any time now with her and you knew she missed you deeply. The ever so elegant dragon would always wail outside of dragonstone for your attention, poor girl, she was getting old and your time with her was ticking. But, she wasn’t alone. She was spending most days with Vermax, who would always try to play with her, her patience always ran out quick with the smaller dragon but would usually let him lay with her after he hunts dinner around the island for her.

Finally for what felt like hours, you all arrived on dragonstone. Letting Rhaenyra and Daemon step out of the boat first, you came out second while helping the younger kids. Turning to look over at the rocks, the preparations for your wedding were being made and they were quick with it. You were feeling rushed to change, you wanted to take it all slowly, this was your actual wedding and yet you weren’t as excited as you hoped to be.

Being rushed into a bath once you entered your chambers, your handmaidens were scrubbing you down harshly, making you moan and wince in pain as they mutter their apologies for being quick and rough. Their hands were forcing you into many positions to scrub other parts of your body, Lysanna was by your side, washing your hair with much more of a gentle touch and rinsing off the suds with colder water.

“Careful! Her skin is tender now!” Lysanna scolded the handmaidens, who were smearing your now smooth skin from the endless scrubbing with rose oil. They were all treating you like a child taking a bath for the first time, you were overwhelmed by how much a hurry they seemed to be. It felt like your wedding was already happening while you were still naked.

You mindlessly stared outside the huge window, silencing biting your lip from how cold their hands felt on your skin, they were making sure you smelled lovely like usual— lathering you in so much scented oils, you felt yourself almost become lightheaded from the varieties of smells. Though, you appreciated the massaging your young handmaiden was doing on your shoulders.

But you couldn’t stop the chills that wouldn’t leave your body, shivering with your teeth clattering. Lysanna wrapped yourself in your robe to pat the wetness down. “You all may leave now. I’ll handle her wedding robes.” Lysanna ordered, the handmaidens bowed and left your chambers for you to finish being attended to.

“Aw, Y/n! They’re lovely.” In her hands were the robes you would wear to your wedding. Not paying attention like Liz was, still looking out the window until she forced your attention back. Blinking your eyes to see clearly, you were struck with awe, the seamstress seemed to add more details to them. They were still the dark blue and black color you had tried on. The ends were blue but as they traveled up it became darker then black at the upper body area, The end of the robes, the arms, and the top of the first layer, were covered in the dark blue color but had Meraxes and Vermax sewed in.

“She added the dragons..” you breathlessly sighed, holding the robes in your hands.

Lysanna nodded without speaking another word, turning to untie your bath robes and left it laying on the ground. Making sure your body was dry enough, she wrapped the upper robes around you, tying the fabric to tighten your waist, adding the last layer over your stomach and shoulders, letting the black belt wrapped around the ends of the first layer to blend in. Finally, she had adjusted the lower bottoms of the robes to reach your feet, just in case you weren’t able to walk freely in it.

“You look like an Old Goddess,” she breathed, you were almost convinced to believe her once you saw yourself in the mirror, but you realized the headpiece was missing.

Turning around to look around for it but Lysanna caught on and stopped you, adding the silvery headpiece on top of your head. She decided to leave your hair unstyled, your natural curls were already making you look so beautiful.

Again you looked in the mirror, you looked ethereal. The headpiece was adding everything together. And Lysanna couldn’t agree more, standing by your side with her hands clasped together, she looked happy for you. You both were interrupted by the at knock at your door, revealing your sister. She was struck from your beauty, her face could show it.

Rhaenyra walked to you and Lysanna, kissing your cheeks softly, “Oh, my sweet sister. You look so magnificent.” Her eyes were becoming watery, “You look perfect,” she insisted, smoothing her palms on your cheeks, “Jacaerys will fall to his knees once he sees you.”

You choked on what to say. Instead, pulling her into a hug, gently to not hurt the baby. She chuckled, “I love you, sister.”

“And I love you too, sister.” you answered her, you were afraid of what she will say once she found out you and Jace were in a rocky relationship right now. But you didn’t want to think about that right now. Your mind was mainly focus on the wedding that was about to happen.

“It is time,” she said quietly, eyes meeting yours. She left your embrace to exchange some words with Lysanna, they both smiled warmly to each other until she left a kiss on Lysanna’s forehead.

Taking huge breaths of air, Lysanna and your sister walked you to the rocks by the shore, you heard waves crashing as you walked closer and closer to the rocks. Jace was already there with Luke, Rhaena, and Daemon present, Daemon helping him with his robes before walking over to help Rhaenyra go down the steps carefully.

You met Jacaerys in the middle of the ceremony, the same place that took place for Rhaenyra and Daemon’s wedding as well, the Septon was standing there with a dagger and chalices on the rock table for you both. The anxiety of having to cut each other’s arms and lips came to you, you began pinching your arm to ease your nerves. Jace noticed this and rubbed your arm to comfort you.

You turned to look at him, his eyes fell onto you. You couldn’t help but melt at the fact that he was possibly warming up to you, just a little. As you all listened to the words of the Septon, you mindlessly dozed off again until he handed Jace the dagger, you were rather scared. Scared to be cut and with full warning and intent as well, he tried calming you once more by pinching your lips to make the cut so you wouldn’t feel it as much. The cut was small but deep enough for blood to draw. You appreciated the fact he did this to help you, you felt tears swelling in your eyes as you made eye contact with him, nodding to him that you were fine— he looked stoic but you knew he was nervous, afraid those were tears of pain. He then brought his remaining hand to place his thumb to your lips, collecting the blood and tracing the liquid on your forehead. His eyes were watching for any sign of discomfort from you but you only nodded again and smiling to reassure him once him.

Once he had finished, he handed you the dagger, and you repeated what he had just did. If he was nervous, you were 10x nervous, shaking as you made the cut on his lip, you made sure it was a light scratch but still, worried as you cupped his face to apologize. As if he was still a child who was hurt during training but your imagination disappeared once he placed his hand on your hand— to let you know he’s fine. You ran your thumb over his lips, smearing the blood to make sure you grabbed enough. You drew a symbol on his forehead, once you finished, you sighed with relief that it was over. You felt good, the hard part was over.

The Septon then handed your lover the chalice. You took the dagger and began cutting at your left palm, wincing in pain from the deep cut you had made. You were never good with pain, realizing you had a low tolerance to pain compared to your family, always have been. With the pain lingering as you squeezed your hand over the chalice, you wanted to wince in pain, letting your blood drip into to the cup. Jace repeated what you did after handing your other hand the chalice for you to hold, he held no reaction once he cut into his right palm unlike you, you were almost envious that he didn’t feel no pain. You could hear Luke, in the background, hissing from the amount of blood that was being shed. You put the cup under his hand as he squeezed, your blood mixing with his in the chalice.

Began to drink from the chalice after speaking repeated vows from the Septon. The taste was bitter and very much like iron, you were not disgusted by it, it was rather natural considering you have the blood of the dragon. Dragons drink blood, afterall. Finishing your sip, you gave it to your lover. Though, you were rather okay with the taste, Jace wasn’t. His face screwed with bitterness and slightly squinted from the horrible taste, you wanted to giggle at his reaction but remained composed.

With blood coating his lips and tongue, he then brought his hand to cup your cheek once more before leaning in to kiss you. More confident than the last time, you leaned in as well. Your lips connecting and this time, you dipped your head back to kiss him once more, pressing your bloodied lips onto his soft ones— cupping both of his cheeks with your hands, staining his right cheek with blood from your cut.

Jace was rather confused from your sudden kiss, part of him wanted discontinue it for that he was still upset with you but this was something he had longed for years. The feeling of your lips was becoming addicting to him, his eyes immediately closing and savoring the taste of your lips. Forgetting that your family was behind you, he pulled you closer to him, his arms around your waist so protectively, he was scared to let you go. You both finally parted to breathe, panting heavily as you looked back into his now opened eyes, your lips were swollen from the long kiss and immediately created distance from him, afraid you crossed the line of boundaries.

As you were about to apologize, you heard claps being made by Rhaena and Luke. Realizing they were all there and watched the passionate kiss, you panicked and became even more embarrassed. You couldn’t really the say the same for Jace, instead of embarrassment— you swore you saw lust in his eyes, like he was about to kiss you again.

“Let’s wash your face and have you ready for supper!” Lysanna interrupted your intimate thoughts, as you wiped the smear blood on your looks, you were being scurried back into the castle while your eyes were trained on Jace, you neither spoken a word to him throughout the weddings or the trip back but you were able to speak so much through your actions.

Lysanna brought you to a whole other chamber, it was rather bigger and you were surprised. The bed was more bigger, seems to be the same size as Rhaenyra and Daemon’s— you knew it was your now shared chambers with Jace. It appears your handmaidens had already brought some of your collected art pieces and artifacts into the chambers to hung them up during your wedding. She brought out a wet cloth and started wiping your face very carefully in order to not hurt your wound.

“Was I okay?” you suddenly asked, blurting the question out without any context. You meant how you looked during your wedding.

Lysanna gave you a confused look to which you gave a pleading one in return. She unwrapped your robes and gently pressed her fingers on your palm, the one with the wound. Applying a bandage to wrap around your hand. “I am lost by what you mean.” Turning around to find an appropriate gown for you to wear.

Sighing, “I mean, did I present myself..” trying to find the perfect way to describe your question, “did I do alright?”

“Well, you certainly looked like you were in love,” She spoke, looking through your closet, still deciding for you to wear. Lysanna then let out a contented gasp, pulling out a white and golden gown that had sheer patterned sleeves and sheer designs on the skirt with the same patterns. “Were you faking it?”

Inserting your arms into the sleeves, you fiddled with the skirt while she laced the strings behind the gown. You were remembering what was happening in the wedding, leaving yourself feeling slightly panic and flustering from the sudden and passionate kiss you shared with Jace. His lusting eyes that were laying upon you wasn’t helping your case, it left you wanting to finish what you had started.

“No. I wasn’t.” shaking your head, looking at yourself in the mirror while she help put your half of your hair into double braids before connecting them across the back of your head and leaving the rest of your hair alone.

Lysanna smiled and nodded her head, leaning away to take a good look at you. “Good. It looked real.” Giving her a genuine smile from her response, it held no lie to it. She went over to your vanity and gave you jewelry to pick and wear. After you had finish adding earrings and a necklace, she held your hand to ease your nerves and lead you to the dining hall. She walked with reassurance and confidence, you were envious from the way she was able to look so proud but yet again she wasn’t the one who had just got married. She had no reason to be nervous or scared like you.

You entered the dining hall, lifting your skirt to step down carefully. Your family was already there, eating and conversing with one another. Rhaenyra looked up from her seat in the middle end of the table, gave you a smile. You sat by her side, Lysanna joining you all by sitting next to Rhaena and Luke, they begun laughing at silly jokes that Rhaena babbled.

“The ceremony was absolutely beautiful,” Rhaenyra praised, as Daemon handed you a cup of wine. You were hesitant to take it but still took a small sip. “It is good to be back in Dragonstone.” Quickly nodding at her statement, you felt more at home here. But yet, you missed your siblings dearly, remembering what you had saw with Helaena and Aemond.

“Your trip to Winterfell is on the morrow, is it?” Daemon asked, seemed to genuinely be interested to know more. He shown more fascination and interest in you and your life, it was a kind gesture and made you see him in a different light.

You were excited, none the less. You were finally visiting the north, you longed for this opportunity. Ever since Lysanna spoken stories of the cold land, you had wanted to see it for yourself. To feel snow, to make snow angels, to find direwolves, you were truly about to explode with excitement. “Yes! But I still have many things to pack. Lysanna, as well.”

“It’s alright. I had it all packed for you.” Jace suddenly spoke up, still eating his dinner as he paid no mind to you. You looked over to his side, appreciated at the fact he went out of his way to do that for you.

Warmly smiling to yourself, the fear of him hating you washed away. He cared for you, no matter what. “Thank you.”

“You looked like a goddess, cousin! I hope to look as beautiful as you in my own wedding.” Rhaena happily chirped, her eyes filled of hope while Daemon gave her a non-threatening stare from how she already declared wanting to be married.

You laughed at how eager she sounded, “That’ll be a long time, I assure you.” Daemon announced, Rhaenyra sighed from his response as Rhaena frowned. But you knew he meant well, he just doesn’t want to see her grow up so fast.

Finally finished your meal, you got up from your seat and walked towards Rhaena and placed a sweet kiss on her forehead before giving her and Luke a bear hug. “My sweetlings, so sweet to me. Be good to your parents.” they both were so young and already speaking of such topics. You just wanted to pocket them in your coat and take them everywhere with you. “May I visit Meraxes?” you asked Rhaenyra, whipping her head around as she gave you a quick nod, laughing with Daemon. The night was still young and you took the advantage to find your old dragon.

Placing one last kiss on Rhaena and Luke, you whispered to Lysanna to take them to bed soon. Leaving the hall to grab your cloak, you begun to walk out the castle with such hurry, looking across the island and ran in such pace to seek warmth and comfort from Meraxes. Upon your arrival, she turned her head to greet you, mewling loudly to declare how much she missed you, you knew your family had heard her. Holding onto her so tightly, hugging her by the side of her large head, she affectionately leaned in your touch. Compared her size to you, she barely leaned in just to not hurt you.

“Shijetra nyke, Merakses. Ēdan issare tolī nūmāzma naejot ao.” (“Forgive me, Meraxes. I have been to cruel to you.”) She seemed to understand you so easily from the way she wailed, huffing and puffing as you scratched underneath her mouth. The least you could do for her is let her rest for the remainder of her days, her entire life— all she ever knew was war and evil schemes that she was forced to be played in. You never thought about using her like that, she was too old for that now.

Perhaps that is why Meraxes picked you, maybe it wasn’t only because you had reminded her of the Queen Rhaenys, the way you would be silly around her, danced and played in the empty fields with her when you were younger reminded her of the old days with Rhaenys. Reading Aegon’s Conquest to Meraxes in High Valyrian so she would understand, she felt like she was in paradise and wanted to stay by your side until it was her time to rest for eternity. Never having to be at war again, having the opportunity to fly freely with you, relaxing in the deep lake with you was pure bliss.

If Meraxes could speak to you, she would thank you for rescuing her. For having the opportunity to live a peaceful life, living in where she was born, with other companions such as Caraxes, Syrax, Vermax and Arrax.

You placed your coat underneath you, instead of riding with her, you decided to rest with Meraxes instead. It would not be wise to sleep out here, you would worry your family but if you spent more time away from your dragon, you would’ve gone mad. “Hemtubis īlon kipagon syt Ropatasōnar. Ao se kesan ūndegon sōna syt se ēlī jēda.” (Tomorrow, you and I ride for Winterfell.) your words slowly becoming a whisper, dozing off to slumber— but your dragon’s low huff almost woke you up. Closing your eyes, your head resting near her clean, silver scales. Her large wing protectively resting above you, not strictly above to not suffocate you.

While you peacefully slept without a worry right by Meraxes’ side, your husband wasn’t so peaceful. He sat by the edge of your shared bed in your new shared chambers, wondering where you were. You weren’t in your old chambers either, the last time he heard you were with Meraxes. Getting up from his spot on the bed, wrapping his bare torso and arms with a night robe to look for you outside, letting the knights know he will be searching for you. Jacaerys was rushing down the steep hill, the rocks, and sand to find you— almost stepping in holes from time and time. He easily found Meraxes, she was the largest dragon afterall, she was easy to spot.

Jace wanted to feel angry, you never alerted anyone about how long you would take. He’s off looking for you around the island as always, but he couldn’t help the growing nervousness in his chest for your safety, worried you could be injured. No matter how much anger Jace holds over you, you still have him wrapped around your finger so tightly that no matter what you do, he would always find his way back to you. And the worst part is, you were unaware of this fact.

Once he reached Meraxes, she quietly mewled towards him, Jace patted Meraxes— she was sleeping so peacefully while you were laying right next to her, shivering in your sleep, arms curling tightly by your chest for some warmth, your cloak nor Meraxes could save you from the cold winds. You looked so peaceful and beautiful until he looked clearer. Your face was not only dried with tears, your teeth clattering together and your brows furrowed .

Without a thought, he quickly unwrapped his robes and wrapped it over you. For a brief moment, you were no longer shivering and began leaning into Jace’s warm embrace, he was known for being a literal walking furnace. He was wearing nothing now besides his breeches while you were layered comfortably but yet held around Jace’s arms, he couldn’t help but feel butterflies roaming inside his stomach from your touch. He decided to breathe into your palms from how cold they unusually are.

From the much movements around you and the sudden warmth, you began to wake up. Rubbing your eyes and mouth slurring, your eyes slowly widen from the view of Jace holding onto you protectively. At that sight of your husband, you were shocked to see him.

“What are you doing here?” you slurred your words, unintentionally, wiping the dried tears from your cheeks.

Jace tried to keep his eyes from looking back at you, “I was worried about my wife.” he stated simply. You grew quiet from his words.

You mumbled, “Oh..I apologize for worrying you, I must have woken you from your slumber,” your voice shaky. You were afraid you had made him mad even more but he shook his head.

He rubbing your forearms with a gentle touch. “I stayed up waiting for your return to our chambers. I had wondered if you went back to your old chambers.”

You looked at him for a moment, before more tears ran down your face, from the thought that he thinks you didn’t want to be with him, share chambers and share a bed hurt you. “Why would I abandon you,” you whispered, you were not asking, you knew the answer. He looked at you with guilt on his face, probably for even assuming you wouldn’t want to be near him during the night.

“It was foolish of you to be out here so late in the night.” he scolded, “you could have become sick just by staying out here for a bit.”

“I’m so sorry, Jacaerys,” you apologized, though, you weren’t apologizing about staying out here. He knew why you were apologizing, it felt all too real for the both of you. You were finally gonna speak your truth, speak your feelings. “I already failed you as a wife. Your future Queen. You hate me so much and it is my fault.” You had let out a sob, one that was a cry for help. All he could do was just listen to you belittle yourself as you continued to explain. “We were once close, do you remember? You always had your nightmares and crawled in my bed, excusing yourself as only wanting to protect me during the night.” Jace chuckled at the remembrance of the memories you both shared together. Remembering it like it was last night. “To see you hurt over something I had caused broke me deeply..of course I love you, I love you so much it hurts my heart to see you slip away from me. I don’t like to see you with another lady, and I don’t like to think about how you could have been betrothed to someone else who isn’t me. Your love and devotion for me is all I can ask for. But..please, you must understand why I was scared to marry, my mother was forced to squeeze out children until she died. Knowing that will be me someday, frightens me, worries me that I may not give you an heir.”

As you finished, Jacaerys laid there— with so many thoughts running through his mind. You love him, and yet he never thought about how it was like for you, his sadness breaks you down to the point you’re a wreck because you love him. He noticed, he noticed how much quieter you become during and after the betrothal, and how you barely even made the effort to wish farewells to your family as you went on the boat.

Realizing now, imagining you dying in childbirth frightened Jacaerys so much to the point his hold on you tightened. To lose you, especially to childbed, it put the poor boy in shock.

Jace pulled you closer to him, both of you becoming sweating from how hot under the robes and cloak were, “You’re not my nephew anymore, you are my husband. And I need to start seeing you as my husband.” Suddenly he looked down from the touches you placed on his left hand, he watched you took off the ring your father, his grandsire had left to you. The ring he had worn as a wedding ring with his wife, your mother— the rings that represented their love for one another. You placed the ring delicately onto his ring finger, twisting it around occasionally. It now belonged to him.

“I love you, Jacaerys,” you sobbed, rushing to press your hands on his bare chest. You were an emotional wreck. But yet, he didn’t know what to say. “Please speak to me.” Gods, your voice was breaking his heart. Why can’t he speak? He loves you so much. He would do anything for you. He would go as far as to kill for you.

Placing his forehead against yours, finally gaining the courage to speak, “You and I were meant to burn together.”

Without hesitation, he roughly grabbed you by your silvery hair and placed a rough kiss onto your lips, you quickly returned the kiss with such eagerness. The kiss almost knocked the winds out of you, you weren’t expecting Jace to be so rough but you didn’t care. Pulling away to catch your breath for a quick moment before reaching once again to his lips, your tears continued to fall from your eyes, mixing into your lips— making the kiss become wet.

His hands falling to grip your waist, laying on top of you as he moved once again behind to unlace your gown, in such swiftness, your gown was slowly coming off and you immediately shivered from the strong winds. Jace broke the kiss to set your dress aside but once he placed it next to you both, his eyes laid upon your bare body— you had changed tremendously over the years, you were now a lady and Jace could see that quite clearly from the way your breasts were much more fuller and the sides of your body were now curvier.

From his wandering eyes, you were becoming embarrassed. Was he disgusted by you? Were his expectations ruined? You felt like curling up into a ball and hide away.

Reaching to cover yourself with your arm, feeling even more embarrassed that you had to hide your breasts away. Before you could even react, his hands placed your arms above your head, Jace’s lips came down onto yours again, this time more sweeter than the first one. You brought your hands down to bury them in his hair, as you moved your lips against his.

His tongue swiped across your lips, wanting to deepen the kiss. You opened your mouth with slight hesitation, but it soon disappeared and replaced with lust— moaning at the newfound feeling of his tongue. Jacaerys moved away to place sweet kisses all over your neck, pulling you into him more harshly, hips smashing into each other. Without your gown on, you could feel everything, his body heat, and every part of his body. You were whimpering in seconds from how he began to place lovebites on your shoulder and collarbone.

His hands moved up your body, going up and down on your hips before resting his palms on your breasts, gently massaging the soft, ample mounds. When he lightly pinched the sensitive buds, you let out a moan, pulling on his hair as he continued to graze your nipples. Jace groaned, taking it as permission, he dipped his head into your chest before he began to suck harshly, even began nipping your buds to earn more sounds from you. To think this was his first experience with you, you would have thought he was skilled at this. But no, neither of you had touched someone like this before, and it felt good. The relief washing over you when you would be losing your virtue to Jacaerys and not someone like Aegon or an old High Lord who wouldn’t even thought once about your pleasures and desires.

Both his hands continued to pinch at your skin, while you started whimpering. Traveling up to your neck, biting and sucking at the sensitive skin. You were withering away into ecstasy as he continued. His hands drifted from your chest, down your waist, slowly as you could feel his hands on your thighs, he retrieved away from your neck, admiring the work he done with the lovebites scattering all over your neck, collarbone, shoulders, and your breasts.

“Jace…” you whined. Clearly frowning from the loss of heat that his body provided for you while he was exploring your body.

The way you were already missing his touch was starting to get Jace feeling worked up, your pity eyes and your pouty lips was just the icing on top of the cake. He wanted to have his way with you right then and there, pleasuring the both of you so eagerly but he knew he would have to be patient. Your pleasure absolutely comes first. Though, he was glad you both were far away from the castle, your family wouldn’t have to hear you both.

“W-What are you doing?” You asked, confused but still remained to lay on your cloak. Shifting uncomfortably, wondering if it was over already, if it was only just in the heat of the moment. Your thoughts were cut short when Jacaerys spread your thighs apart, groaning at the sight that was laid in front of him and the feeling of the fat of your thighs in his hands. Letting out a shocked gasp from the cool air blowing into your cunt.

Jace looked up to you, not exchanging any words but the look on his face was asking for your permission to continue. You nodded, allowing him to dive his head between your legs. He gave your cunt a wet kiss before bringing his fingers to slip through your folds, groaning at how wet you are, you subconsciously brought your hand to grip the wrist to his wandering hand, that was smearing your wetness all over your cunt.

He gave you a light smile from how easily wet you were. Wanting to tease you some more, “All for me, my love?” you were feeling rather more embarrassed than you ever were with Jace. You couldn’t muster anything to say back, as an result Jace lightly smacked your cunt— loudly yelping at the impact, it frightened Meraxes who was still besides you both. You had started realizing where you both were, right by the ocean and way too close to your dragon, who seemed to be very annoyed by the loud and erotic noises you both were making.

“C-Could we take our affairs into our- ah! Jacaerys!” you cried out, as you were trying to suggest going back inside, he continued to spread your lips with his tongue, lapping your juices from your dripping hole. He began moving his tongue in and out of you with his fingers patiently moving towards your clit to rub it slowly before it started to fasten. You propped yourself onto your side, wanting more.

The lewd squelching noises had only made you feel warmer and turned on. You gave out and fell on your back once more, babbling with soft whimpers— you could not control your voice, expressing how much it feels good. With his tongue still inside you, it made your skin burn, had your toes curling on his back as your thighs wrapped around his head, your hands gently yanked at his hair to pull him away from your cunt, it was beginning to become too much for you, sending vibrations through your body. “J-Jace..too much..”

While trying to escape his grasp, his hands removed themselves from your nub and moved to your sides— holding your hips down, allowing him to gain control again, rather than letting you move away from his face. Whimpering from the tight hold Jace has on your hips, he decided to pull you more closer to him, deepening his tongue inside your cunt. With his fingers again, he rubbed tight circles on your clit, it brought you a different kind of pleasure, the feeling of your stomach turning, like something snapped.

He hummed against your cunt, acknowledging that you were close, deciding to replace his mouth and to slowly add two fingers inside. Thrusting them in and out of you, careful not to hurt you but that thought quickly disappeared after he heard you babble the loudest moans you ever let out tonight, “Please..don’t stop, ñuha vēzos.” you whimpered out. To hear that nickname come out of your mouth after so long made his cock hard, fastening his pace before adding another then another. The cold feeling of the ring that was still placed on his finger, thrusting inside you had you falling apart. It was a newfound feeling that you seemed to already become addicted to, adding more to your pleasuring.

With his face pulled away from you, lips dripping with your juices, but his fingers never stopped, the pleasure continuing, “It’s alright. Let go, ñuha hūra qēlossās,” he urged, as he dove back to kiss you messily, aggressive like the first kiss you had shared with him, driving his tongue into your mouth, he happily swallowed your moans and whimpers that you were letting out, his thumb ferociously rubbed your clit to help you cum quicker, it felt so good.

You listened to his words. You tried to let go, allowing yourself to relax and enjoy the pleasure he was giving you. It was soon that you felt that same feeling that was building in your stomach, it felt like a tight knot snapping. You pulled harder at Jace’s hair, in silence, pulling your mouth was away from his, a thin string of saliva connecting. You saw white stars in your vision, desperately trying to come down from your high. Your vision and hearing were lacking, giving Jace a small huff when he tried to call your name, you could barely hear him.

He pulled his fingers out of you, your hole was left clenching nothing as it leaked out all of your juices. Slowly regaining your vision, you gave Jace a hazy smile, and reached up to pull him closer to you. Letting out a mewl at the way he cupped your breasts, firmly, smothering them in sweet kisses.

With his hands on your breasts, you wrapped your legs around him again, finding familiar pleasure in the friction of rubbing yourself against him through his breeches. Jace let out a relaxed sigh from the endless grinding. He looked up to see you, you were too deep in pleasure to notice him pulling himself away, and lowering his breeches. His cock sprung up, he re-adjusted himself on top of you. He was rather bigger than you imagined. Deep in your thoughts, you didn’t notice how he moved his tip down your slit to collect your wetness, mixing it with his pre-cum to make his cock even more wet.

You tried to fix yourself as you can while still drowsy from your previous orgasm, bringing your hand to hold him, carefully. Your hand was gentle, not wanting to squeeze him hard— you wrapped it around his length, and his eyes were closed as he hissed at your touch, his stomach was tensing up.

“Gods,” he strangled, you looked up to him and his face contorted in pleasure. You moved your hand and replaced it with your tongue, placing his whole length in your mouth, you began to gag on his cock but you wanted to bring some pleasure to him, like the good wife you are. Continuing to move your head slowly, you were getting the hang of sucking him off. The surprising act had Jace shocked, to see you trying to please him so eagerly.

The thought of just letting you suck him off until he released in your mouth made him feel excited, but that wasn’t what he planned. As much as he didn’t want to, he gently pull your mouth off him. He wanted to be inside you. Retrieving yourself away, frowning as you wiped your mouth, to your disappointment, Jace gave you a smile and placed a wet kiss on your neck, “Forgive me, my love but I want to feel your cunt.” you clenched at his words, nodding and allowing him to tuck your curls behind your ear, guiding you to lay back down on your cloak.

He wrapped his own hand around his cock, now wet enough to line himself at your entrance. Placing your arms around your husband’s shoulders, making him come closer to you in the hopes of having some sort of reassurance, as you laid craving his cock. Jace slowly pushed himself inside you, working his cock into your cunt. The stretch was rather more bigger than with his fingers, whining as your nails dig into his back— your legs wrapped around his hips, tightly. The feeling was uncomfortable, you couldn’t breathe properly nor move. He continued sliding inside you, settling himself comfortably until he had your approval to start moving again.

Jace leaned into your neck, breathing in your scent and groaning at the feeling of finally being inside you. How he waited for years to wed you. He stayed quite snugged in you, eventually, bringing his head up to meet your eyes. He could see the hold of discomfort in them, to relief the mild aching—he brought his fingers down to your clit again, rubbing circles, recklessly, in hopes to help you find pleasure. As his fingers remained on your nub, your body had began to relax and erupt in pleasure once more. You closed your eyes, rocking yourself back and forth to bring more. You moaned at the feeling of Jace bringing himself in and out of you. Slowly thrusting back into you, never taking his hand away from your clit, instead he started to rub your nub even faster, making you feel more heat.

As he continued to slide in and out of you at a cautious pace, you were begging for more. Babbling at your husband to go faster, he complied without a word. Bringing your legs over his shoulders, you both could hear your skin clapping together. His pace was rather brutal and hard, but oh gods, it felt so good. Your head fell back, mouth left open as Jace continued his harsh thrusts. Blood dripping from his back, the feeling of your nails digging deeper into his skin almost made Jace collapse from how good it felt. Wanting to quiet his groans, he began to nip at your neck, you were clenching tightly around him, “Don’t stop! Please! Please! Ah!”

His pace quickening as you bounced against him, lost in the pleasure. Your mouth laid open, your moans beginning to become too loud. Jace swore the knights that were on nightwatch could have heard you. Removing his fingers from your clit, Jace stuck his fingers in your mouth to hush you, immediately you began to suck on them so desperately as your eyes rolled back so far.

The tight knot in your stomach came back, falling over from the feeling again. Crying out for Jace with his fingers still in your mouth once his thrusts slowed down. You took his fingers out of your mouth, afraid you would bite them by accident. Not sure on where to place them, he decided to wrap his hand around your neck and began to squeeze. The feeling was unfamiliar but it felt amazing, you felt yourself liking the newfound feeling as you were beginning to feel dizzy during your high, about to pass out from the way he was constricting your breath as he continued fucking you.

Your high ending, becoming very sensitive to the continuing movement inside you. “Please..inside me..” you choked, wanting to feel his cum inside you. You felt his thrusts stuttering, more messier. Jace wanted to pull out, spill himself on your breasts but hearing your words, he complied. Without saying anything back, he thrusted one last time, deeper this time. Spilling his cum inside, not wasting a drop while thrusting all of it inside your leaking cunt. You both moaned in unison at the feeling, taking his hand off your now bruised neck, replacing it with his face to rest on your neck, kissing it gently as he continued to spill inside you. Oh, it felt so good, the feeling of his warmth filling you. With strong arms around you, carefully Jace pulled out of you, both of you hissing at the loss feeling and you whined, clenching around nothing, wanting him to stay inside you forever.

Jacaerys pulled away, finding his breeches and bringing it to your thighs to clean you up right away. Wiping away the cum and saliva that was dripping down your stomach and thighs. You looked up at him confused, and upset he was using his only clothing. “My love, what will you wear now?” Rushing to stop his actions with your hand, Jace shook his head and only continued until you were clean. Slightly wincing from the sensitivity down there.

“Let me attend to you.” he ordered, he was not asking. Without wanting to start a disagreement, you nodded. He had you turned to the side to wipe away any sand that sticked to your body and placed you gently back down on your cloak. “I’m sorry, I was too harsh with you.”

You melted further into the cloak, eyes growing tired, his sweet words made you shake your head and only smile sweetly. “It is fine. I don’t mind, it was me who was too harsh with you, my love.” Bringing his hand to cup your cheek, he felt himself growing guilty from your words. He didn’t want your first time to be something that you felt you had to be punished for. He would never be that cruel to you, he wasn’t someone like Aegon. He was your devoted husband, who would go to great lengths to protect you. The sweat across your body and face, the tired look on your face, the bruises and marks on your body. This was not what Jacaerys wanted for you, but you were just happy to finally have his forgiveness, you tried to reassure him that you wanted it just as much as he wanted it. Happily humming once he placed his robes around you, slipping underneath the robes, taking you in his arms once again. You laid your head on his bare chest, finding warmth and comfort.

He was smoothing your hair out, tangling his fingers. Your braids had became messy and unkept but it didn’t matter to Jace. “My sweet wife..” he whispered, placing a kiss on your forehead. The guilt never went away, not once, remaining in his mind as he tried to sleep. “I am fine, my love.” you urged, trying to make sure he knows you are well while you were still awake. He gave you a sweet smile, to help you believe he is not worried anymore. As he began to hear the soft snores coming from you, all Jace could think about how unfair he was to you. He let his anger get the best of him, remaining bitter and sour to you when you tried to apologize once. As you tried to win his affections back, letting you wither in sadness. You were never cruel to him.

It was never that big of a deal, he thought. for you to feel the need to always be there for your step-mother. Of course it wasn’t, you were just trying to make everyone happy. Was he only mad because he was just envious? Envious that he and his family weren’t the only ones you held such strong familiar feelings for? No matter what the outcome was, whether your family bullied his mother, or accused them of being bastards, or even taking your freedom from almost everything that you felt you had to leave— you would always be tied to Alicent and your other siblings because of your connection to them.

All his life, Jacaerys tried to catch all of your attention. Wanting to be the one who caught your eye, never finding it fair that you mainly laid your eyes on your other family. Always comforting Aemond, reading with Helaena, chasing Aegon around incase he made a fool of himself, or when you were busy with writing letters back to Daeron.

Jace thought once you were married to him, you would finally realize you only needed him in your life. You didn’t need Alicent, or your brothers and sister. If you had ask him to take you away and settled down in Essos or Pentos, he would’ve gladly packed a bag and ride off with you on Vermax while knowing the risks that came with it.

You were enough for him. So why wasn’t he enough for you?

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Atleast they made up😍 kinda- but omg I’m never writing smut again that was tiring and scary (I’m lying..) HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SO LONG LMFAO

taglist (woohoo!): @sigynxlokiwifelover @l-3-e @audigay @urmomsgirlfriend1 @cold-v0dka @cookielovesbook-akie @theoriginalwife000 @xoxovenusquinn(would not let me tag u:( @ghalakgx (would not let me tag:( @neenieweenie @classysassynabitsmartassy @generousbearwolflight @gariben @si1versamurai @deltamoon666 @aemondssiut (would not let me tag u:( @thelastemzy @ryantryan6969 @topazy @starogeorgina @infinitleyethereal @speedypeter @dramaroomrat @potatolady189 (would not let me tag u:( @zzz000eee @parkchaeyoung1997 @jaehyunyah

[lurkingshan]

Last Twilight Episode 12

A month ago, I never could have predicted that I’d be sitting here trying to assemble some thoughts to explain how on earth this show went so badly off the rails. I am truly taken aback by where this story landed, and I advise anyone who wants to think of it fondly to just pretend it ended at episode 9, and even skip the finale if you haven’t watched yet. Before I get into it, let me just start with a word of praise for the cast, who did a great job with their performances and kept this show afloat when the writing fell apart. And boy, did it fall apart.

In my view, this narrative had three main threads it was addressing: 1) Day’s journey to accepting his disability; 2) unresolved family trauma; and 3) Mhok and Day’s romance. And in the end, it failed on all three of them. I am going to dig into this and I am not feeling particularly nice, so if this is going to hurt your feelings I suggest you stop reading now. 

Day’s Journey

Just…wow. We have been afraid of this turn the entire time and trying to hold out hope that the show would not go there, but here we are. I started laughing out loud when we got to the end of part 3 and Mhon’s phone went off with an alert for a new eye donor, and then just stared incredulously at my screen as we time skipped AGAIN to a Day whose vision had been restored for years (last week I joked to @bengiyo and @waitmyturtles that once a drama starts using time skips it becomes addictive and they never stop, and—welp!). What was this entire show for? Why did we spend twelve episodes with Day grieving his vision loss, learning how to cope, and finally accepting his blindness only to completely undercut it at the end? The first part of the finale was so much about how he was thriving—finding a new career for himself and becoming self-sufficient and growing so much on his own—only to give us an ending that implied he could not actually have his happily ever after without his vision restored. 

And this is in fact the message they sent by coupling the return of his vision with the return of he and Mhok’s relationship, and giving us a happy ending rooted in his contentment at having his sight back. They even went back to the Last Twilight mountain to completely tarnish the thematic resonance of the original scene. Calling back to the beautiful memory of Day “seeing” the sunset and experiencing “a moment so good that you feel like you can live there forever” as he accepted his disability with this scene of him seeing the real sunset with his restored vision was so hurtful to me that I actually got angry. Day didn’t need his vision back to get a happy ending, and I absolutely hate what this communicates about disabled people’s capacity to live happy and fulfilling lives. This show has created many writing sins but this is the most unforgivable to me.

Family Trauma

The show began dropping the ball on this one a few weeks ago, but this finale put the nail in the coffin. We spent most of this episode at Porjai and Night’s wedding, an event that might have felt meaningful if the show had let us see any of their romance. I’m grateful to Mark Pakin and Namtan Tipnaree for their beauty and charisma because it’s the only thing that made me care about those scenes at all. Rather than actually being about them, however, this wedding was used primarily as a clunky vehicle to deliver heavy-handed messages about “second chances” to encourage Day to get back together with Mhok (more on that in the next section). 

I did enjoy the brief nods in this episode to the brothers continuing to have newfound harmony in their relationship, but where the show really lost me was in their attempt to bring Night and Day’s dad back into the mix and imply some sort of resolution between him and Mhon. Mhon, a woman whose perspective on their split we never actually saw, whose motivation for her choices and behavior toward her sons were completely elided by the narrative, who was forgiven and made peace with offscreen during a time skip. I was never given the chance to understand her or what this relationship meant to her in the first place, so why would I care about these scenes with her making her peace with this man? I continue to be so confused about where this show chose to spend its time, and why someone with Aof’s track record on developing strong and narratively important familial relationships dropped the ball so much with her. 

The Romance

Okay, let’s get into it, and remember what I said about not reading if this is going to hurt your feelings! My criteria for considering a romance successful is I have to believe the relationship is mutual, beneficial to both of the pair, and that the couple is prepared to weather future challenges. Last Twilight’s romance fails on all three fronts, and it all comes down to the total imbalance in the relationship that persisted right through the final scenes.

This entire narrative has been Mhok bending to Day’s will, giving Day what he needs, forgiving him for everything, and letting him make all the decisions about the relationship, and the finale was regrettably more of the same. In episode 11, Mhok made a mistake when he lied to Day about turning down the job in Hawaii. But he made that mistake out of grief and fear, and Day didn’t care—he unfeelingly rejected him and his pain and ended their relationship without a second thought. That was potentially forgivable as a momentary lapse borne out of instinctual hurt, and could have been repairable had Day reconsidered soon after and extended Mhok some grace. But in this episode, we find out Day blocked Mhok and refused to communicate with him again after that night, and has left Mhok completely in the cold for three years after he failed to be perfect one (1) time.

And this episode? Was on Day’s side in this conflict. Mhok is the one to return and start pursuing Day again. Mhok is the one to broach the topic of their breakup. Mhok is the one to thank Day for breaking his heart and tell him he did nothing wrong (y’all, I almost threw something at the screen). Mhok’s grief and trauma go completely unaddressed in this finale until they try to play the Rung card for one last moment of sentiment. Day cries to his mother about how he just doesn’t know if he can forgive Mhok. And in the end, Mhok makes the grand gesture, missing his flight to go to Day and stay in Thailand with him despite the successful life he has built in Hawaii.

The cognitive dissonance I felt watching this play out was extreme. I rarely see a writer misunderstand their own characters and relationship conflict so thoroughly. In order to believe in this romance we needed to see Day finally show some empathy for Mhok, take responsibility for his own mistakes, and be the one to make an effort this time. We needed to believe that Day has the capacity to be a supportive partner to Mhok even when he’s struggling. But Day didn’t demonstrate any of that, and so I simply don’t believe in this relationship. I don’t believe Mhok can trust Day not to abandon him again when some other major life event intervenes and Mhok is less than perfect. And that’s a shame, because the show really almost had something here with these two. 

And that’s all I got. What a disappointment this show turned out to be. If you need me, I will just be over here in my little corner imagining the Night and Porjai romcom that we never got and pretending the rest of this show ended several weeks ago.

[anadiasmount]

a taste of something sweet - ruben dias x reader.

quick sum: fiance! ruben coming home after the cwc final, and not being able to spend a single second away from reader. seeing her with family has him confessing more than he originally proposed for. insta au included at end! tiny smut, so minors dni! 🤍🎄

wc: 1.7k | masterlist | ruben’s masterlist

psa🗣️: hi angels!🤍 miss you all! it’s been a MINUTE since i posted for ruben, but here’s something for us ruben girlies for christmas time! hope you enjoy! 🤍🎄

“ruben!” you squealed, waiting for him to fully come in before throwing your arms over his shoulders. ruben let out a deep chuckle, and picked you up behind your thighs, sighing in content at being with you again. you had the biggest fear he wouldn't be back before christmas eve, and that your plan to have both families over would be ruined. expect that wasn't it, and here stood your world champion. 

“i missed you so much princesa,” ruben set you down and kissed you deeply, grunting in delight at tasting your cherry lips again. “me too you have no idea, but you're back and that is all that matters to me,” your foreheads leaned into each other, as you ran your hand through his hair. 

“i passed by to get the last minute stuff so we could pack into the coolers, and i got you these as well,” ruben walked to where his luggage stood, locking the door first and then pulled out a bouquet of white and red roses, smirking at your awe reaction. “they’re are gorgeous ruben,” your finger traced the petal, bring the bouquet to your nose and smelling the flowers. “thank you belo.” 

ruben blushed at acknowledgment, wrinkled crinkling in his eyes. he kissed your forehead before dragging you into the kitchen. “i know i called you earlier, but i want you to know how proud i am of you handsome. a treble winner, supercup, and now a world champion? you have no idea the immense feeling i have for you, and to see you smiling after these past weeks? my heart is just full of joy.”

ruben had been quiet these past week, from training, to recovery, to the games and unexpected results, it was taking a toll on him. he didn’t show much emotion, let alone tell anyone how he truly felt, but you could read him from the back of your hand. if he needed you there he was, you vowed to that after he proposed after the unforgettable night in istanbul. 

if he needed space you would respect that, waiting as much as much time he need to process and then come find you fully. if he wanted to talk and express how he felt, he would pull you into his chest, whispering and not fully saying too much out loud, just enough for him to get into a stable mindset. if there was anything ruben looked forward too or longed for, it would always be you.

“my heart is complete with you, always princesa, eu te amo,” ruben said with a deep and groggy voice, enlightening a spark inside you hearing the three words you would never get tired of hearing. it didn't feel real, to have a man like him make you feel this way, to be head over heals, to finally find that stability and security with a man who never has taken you for granted and appreciated you through the good and bad. 

ruben and you spent the whole night finishing last-minute gift wrapping, and he went on to teach you his favorite portuguese cookies, opting to also make some for his family and yours. you hadn't seen your parents or sibling in weeks, and this time was perfect, being all together in a cabin, and spending your favorite holiday all together. 

ruben couldn't go to sleep for some reason, continuing to talk about the season they were having, and also about the final they had just won. he also made some wedding talk, surprising you since he usually wasn't one to give an opinion unless it was about a venue, food, or invites. part of him was also nervous to see your families all together, unsure how it would play out. 

he eventually fell asleep, feeling slightly guilty since he knew you were tired, and stayed up specifically to wait for him to come home. he kissed your nose and whispered a small goodnight, eventually falling asleep on top of you, finally getting the earned sleep since he could only do that when you lay with him. 

ruben ensure your luggage and coolers were safely secured in the car, making the trip up north to meet your families together. the two of you were the first to arrive, having time to go buy some groceries, and unpack. although that became hard as ruben couldn't keep his hands off of you, whispering dirty words into your ear that finally made you cave in. 

he longed for this. craved for this. he took his time with you, relishing every single second before your families came. groaning at the sounds you made, his name falling from your swollen kissen lips, the scratches you were leaving all over as the pleasure became to much. he was utterly obsessed with you, hitting every spot till you crumbled beneath him, ruben not far behind. 

maybe it was your hormones, but you shed a tear or two when seeing you parents all over again, especially your brother who brought his wife and newborn baby up to the cabin. it was not different with ruben’s family, giving them a hug and kiss on a cheek, asking how their drive up went. catching up with his mom, and cousins.while making dinner for a whole. 

it was a great idea you had gone shopping prior or else you'd be stuck, as the snow immediately came down after 4 pm. that night was spent with pure laughters, sharing old memories, drinks being poured every other few 30 minutes, and proposing goals for the new year to come. 

the day of christmas eve, everyone was up to go skiing, the tour guide showed the spots you could go and safely succeed skiing. you were more than grateful it was a private part of the cabin, no cameras or fans coming up to you, you knew it came with a footballer boyfriend, now fiance, but you would never quite get used to it. 

ruben was attached you, some could say maybe had separation anxiety as he always looked around to ensure you were okay, like a lost puppy. he would plaster a huge grin when he met your eyes, sending you a glance to check in if you were okay, you would nod and send him a wink. 

after coming back from skiing, everyone either took a nap or began to get ready for the evening. the tree was filled with gifts, the kitchen smelt like homemade ingredients and scents, and every corner you turned was decorated with lights. you turned on a few candles and set the table, ensuring everyone had a glass and utensils. 

ruben and you snuck in a shower together, avoiding his hands as he clearly desired more, but it felt too risky. you wouldn't have been able to look at anyone the same if you did had done something, or even heard you in the smallest way possible. 

“gatinha, you look so beautiful,” ruben whispered, as he came up behind you, wrapping his muscular arms around your waist and placing a small kiss on your neck. his nosed traced all the way way to your shoulder, not being able to get enough of how you looked and smelled, it was driving him crazy. you wore an emerald-colored silk dress, with small white kitten heels, and your hair down. 

“I know we have been together all day, but it feels like i havent been able to see let alone hold you,” ruben sighed, sounding slightly upset about it. you swiftly turned around and kissed his lips, feeling as he suddenly pulled you closer, releasing a small giggle from you. “i know me too, but i promise, once everyone is asleep we can make good use of the fireplace okay?”

ruben reluctantly agreed, walking out hand to hand out to see everyone either playing a game of poker, cooking, or watching tv. you insisted on helping in the kitchen, even if it meant washing dishes or almost slightly burning yourself. your mom and his mother conversation flew, as they talked about their teenage/ adult years, and apparently a romance show the two couldn't stop gushing about. 

later on, so your sister-in-law could get a break, you offered to help her watch the baby. to ruben’s surprise, he found himself glancing from time to time, a part of him wanting that with you one day. the way you cradled the baby, swayed side to side, kissed their cheek, and adjusted their beanie and blanket to make sure they weren't cold. right then and there ruben knew you were forever for him. 

“come here, i know your still cold,” ruben said, bringing you to his lap, the weighted blanket covering both your bodies as you watched the fire grow slowly. it was late, too late, but the two of you couldn't sleep. ruben rubbed your back, constantly placing kisses on your head and the bridge of your nose. 

you held onto the mug filled with hot chocolate, ruben dipping the cookies he made into the drink and eating them from time to time as you discussed your futures. he loved the sound of your voice, just like you did as well, it was a common thing shared among you. “i hope you know one day you'll be the mother of my kids one day y/n…” he randomly rambled.

“What?”

“you’re gonna be such a great mom one day, and i can’t wait for us to finally have mini us in the house. you mean so much to me i never want to be apart from you, i want to share everything with you,” ruben confessed, watching as your eyes went crazy to search for a tint of lies or regret. but with ruben? everything was always honest and serious, which you loved, as you valued communication. 

“thank you for staying through my best and worst. for keeping my head up high and never letting me down. for me to able to come home to the woman of my dream waiting for me. to have an inspirational and loving person along my side anywhere i go,” ruben continued.

“we made that promise no? when you proposed to me? nothing will ever separate us, and i hope you know that you won't get rid of me that easily. you’re it for me ruben, have been since the first day i met you. and i can’t wait for what's to come for us,” you said smiling, kissing the red tip of his nose and then lips, where he immediately closed his eyes and snuck in. “i love you querida.” just like the fire grew in the fire place, the fire inside your chest did as well. “merry christmas, ruben.”

“merry christmas, y/n.”

———————————

rubendias posted on their feed!

rubendias

liked by: johnstones, bernandosilva, cancelo, yourusername, joaofelix, nathanake, pepteam, and 534,274 others.

rubendias: lovely way to spend christmas after being a world champion! merry christmas cityzens! 🩵🤍

tagged: @yourusername

comments:

username6000: handsy aren’t we now ruben…

johnstones: sure that picture wasn’t meant to be left in your photos?

↪️ rubendias: nope ☺️

bernandosilva: love you two! merry christmas 🩵

↪️ yourusername: thank you benny 🤍 tell isa we send our hello’s 🤍

user19: HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL WTF?

username3928: y/n why are you allowing him to post these selfies? 🙄🙄

↪️ yourusername: i haven’t. he knows he can’t post stuff like this knowing i’ll go 😵‍💫😵‍💫

joaofelix: tu mano ruben 😂🤣

username1087: y/n my gf 😣

↪️ rubendias: she’s actually my fiance ☺️

mateokovacic: 🩵

[myteavsricochet]

Favorite firstprince fanfics, an incomplete list:

One shots:

All the Stars We Steal From the Night Sky :

Alex is quiet, and something is wrong.

Or, Alex struggles with emotions and Henry is there to help.

(Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Basically Just Them Being Soft, Alex is struggling, Henry helps)

In His Wildest Dreams

Set in and around the Henry bonus chapter, this is a story about Henry and Alex’s hectic schedules, family appearances etc. Pulling them apart, and about what starts to happen between them, in the quiet of night: their sleeping bodies turning to each other, finding their sweet spots and opening up. And Alex and Henry learning a lot about each other in the process.

(Please, look at the tags carefully, this fic is very soft, very hot and very consensual but may not be for everyone: Consensual somnophilia, Kink exploration, Porn with feelings, Smut)

5 times Alex called Henry baby ‘casually’ and 1 time it was (definitely) because of love

How did “baby” become a thing in the film universe? When did it become a thing in the film universe? Fine, I’ll answer these questions myself.

(Additional Tags: Overuse of the word "baby", Pet Names, Fluff, Angst, 5+1 Things, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sex, Mild Sexual Content, Hurt/Comfort)

Who could ever leave me darling, but who could stay?

Alex has always been too much. Objectively, he knows this. He talks too much, his volume is too much, and the fire under his ass is too much. So, when he’d met Henry, when he hadn’t cared about Henry’s opinion and had been his real, authentic, annoying self, and Henry had liked him anyway? It was something Alex struggled to wrap his head around. It started in kindergarten.

Or: A look at Alex's childhood and how hard it is always being the too-much person in any given room.

(Additional Tags: Pre-Canon, Post-Canon, Childhood, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, So much comfort)

Déjame Ver Cómo Es Que Floreces

Oscar gets in close and bluntly asks, “Earlier. In the bathroom. Did you do it?”

Alex scoffs, “No. Don't be a perv. Why would you wanna know that anyway?”

Oscar rolls his eyes. “Mind out of the gutter, chamaco. Did you propose?”

Ah.

-

Henry is introduced to the extended Diaz side of the family at their matriarch's birthday. Shenanigans (and romance and feelings) ensue.

(This fic is absolutely amazing ❤️

Additional Tags: Humor, Fluff, Family Fluff, Pre-Engagement, Mexican-American Culture, Mexican OC's galore, Drinking, Family Bonding, Karaoke, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Alex Claremont-Diaz Speaks Spanish)

Forty-Four Days

"God, I haven't seen you in forty-four days," Alex suddenly spits, and Henry feels the pain of his words in his own chest, like ice replacing the blood in his veins. Because that's it, isn't it? Forty-four days of separation. Forty-four days of waking up to an empty bed, of making coffee along with his tea only to realize that Alex isn't there to drink it, of long meetings without any of Alex's witty jokes, of cold hands on chilly autumn walks because Alex isn't there to warm them up.

Maybe it's the simple fact of hearing for the first time, or maybe it's the tipping point of the taxing day, but Henry feels something inside of him snap, and —

And all he knows is that he needs to see Alex now.

(Additional Tags: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Separations, Separation Anxiety, Late Night Conversations, Minor Character Death, but it's nothing to worry about I PROMISE, Reunions, Kissing, Literal Sleeping Together, Mild Sexual Content, they love and miss each other, that's the plot, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant)

A Mind That Never Sleeps

Five times Alex stays awake with Henry, and the one time he coaxes him back to sleep.

(Additional Tags: 5+1 Things, Insomnia, Sleepless nights, Piano, Weddings, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, that's really all this is, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant)

talk too much

Alex has his wisdom teeth removed and Henry takes care of him, fluff ensues

(Additional Tags: wisdom teeth removal, not bloody or graphic, just fluff, pure fluff, No Angst, Henry Pov, firstprince, living in the brownstone, FLUFF I TELL YOU, Henry taking care of Alex, and Alex taking care of Henry too hehe, You’ll see)

silk and steel

Thanks to a welcome day off, Henry and Alex spend a lazy morning in bed. Soft, mid-morning cuddles escalate into semi-soft, mid-morning sex.

(Addictional tags: Morning cuddles, Morning sex, Body worship, Light dom/sub, Praise kink, Established relationship, Top Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Bottom Alex Claremont Diaz)

I don't wanna dance, if I'm not dancing with you

"You want me at a ball?"

"I want you with me as often as possible," Henry says, immediately, as if it's obvious. Maybe it is. "But yes, it would be nice to have you there. I'm not necessarily actively trying to anger my grandmother, which you being there might, but... Well, she hasn't exactly extended an invitation but I have just as much right as anyone to bring a date and--"

"Baby." Henry's rambling stops short on what nearly sounds like a gasp, and Alex grins to himself. Sometimes, his boyfriend is too easy. "Do you want me there?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll be there."

----

or, Henry wants Alex at a ball and Alex is anxious about it.

(Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Ballroom Dancing, Alex Claremont-Diaz Has ADHD, Hurt/Comfort)

If You Hold Me Without Hurting Me, You’ll Be the First Who Ever Did

Henry feels himself aching for Alex—this Alex, the one who’s at home in Texas, the one who’s vulnerable and free—and he sees the ache reflected in Alex’s eyes.

The first night they spend at the lake house, before Alex wakes up with Henry's swimsuit tangled around his elbow.

(Additional Tags: Emotions, Anal Sex, Bottom Henry, alex calling henry baby, henry calling alex love, Boys In Love, Porn with Feelings, Henry Pov, so it's a wee bit angsty)

love dares you, to change our way of caring about ourselves

Henry has read it all: fairy-tales of princes and their courters, unsung histories of kings and their secret lovers, and he has read all their happy endings. But he is not a prince in a fairy-tale, and he has always thought his own secret love story was likelier to end in tragedy.

Perhaps it’s time that changed.

(Or, Henry’s POV the morning after The Great Claremont-Diaz Ambush at Kensington Palace)

Let Me Hold Your Head in My Hands

Alex has a migraine.

Henry takes care of him.

(Additional Tags: Sickfic, Sick Character, Boys In Love, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Caretaking, Idiots in Love, Headaches & Migraines, Tooth-Rotting Fluff,Domestic Fluff, Bathtubs)

you would not believe your eyes (if ten million fireflies)

Alex and Henry are staying at Alex’s house in Texas. Henry has never seen fireflies before, and Alex can’t let him get away without the experience of catching one.

Or,

Alex is helplessly in love with Henry.

(Additional Tags: Fluff, Alex Claremont-Diaz Loves Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Loves Alex Claremont-Diaz, Summer, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, firefly catching, Fireflies, Lightning bugs, Texas)

Promises, Promises.

“I’m sorry,” he breathes again.

The corner of Henry’s mouth does the thing it does. His walls are back up.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it,” he mutters, before turning on his heel and marching down the hall.

——

OR

Alex has never felt so horrible. And 3 days is a long time.

(Additional Tags: Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Arguing, Fights, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Loves Alex Claremont-Diaz, Alex Claremont-Diaz Loves Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Stressed Alex Claremont-Diaz, Alex Claremont-Diaz Needs a Hug, Panic Attacks, Vomiting, Anxiety, Alex Claremont-Diaz Has Abandonment Issues, Abandonment Issues, Leaving Home)

The Red Side Goes Up

Henry brings home a little something new to try in the bedroom. Or: The One Where Alex Gets Jealous of a Butt Plug.

(Additional Tags: Smut, Rimming, Sex Toys, Anal Sex, Butt Plugs, Post-Canon)

(all of me changed like) midnight rain

“They’re fighting again,” he whispers instead. Henry’s eyes are sad.

“I know, love.”

Or, 5 times Alex believes his relationship with Henry won't last, and 1 time he knows it will.

Or, 5 times Alex doesn't believe in love because of his parents and 1 time Henry proves him wrong.

(Additional Tags: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Established Relationship, Breaking Up & Making Up, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Divorce, Canonical Divorce, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Song: Midnight Rain (Taylor Swift), Depression, References to Depression)

We'll Get Together Then

5+1 times Oscar was a good dad to Henry (ft. Abuelo Oscar)

(Additional Tags: Henry and Oscar bonding, 5+1 Things, I have Feelings about their relationship, Arthur's death is mentioned)

The Bet

Looking back at it, it's all Nora's fault.

Or, the time Henry and Alex bet on who can last the longest without sex.

(Additional Tags: Bets & Wagers, No sex bet, Sexual Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, but it gets resolved eventually, Wet Dream, Eventual Smut, Eventual Sex, Porn With Plot, like it kind of has a plot, Mostly just porn though, Kissing, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Riding, Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, Switching, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant)

What Kind of Day Has It Been

Even after thirty-odd years of being together (twenty-five of those married) Henry still has to drag Alex away from his desk and up to bed. Even just a few days after routine surgery Alex can't help himself.

(Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Future Fic, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Boys In Love, Kissing, Married Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor)

take a bite, babe

And, well, Henry can no longer lie to himself. He couldn’t be more in love with Alex if he tried.

Or: five moments Henry notices Alex’s eyelashes (and falls a little more in love).

I miss you, i'm sorry

"I—I’m killing myself trying to make this work, trying to make both you and my family happy, living on planes, and it’s still not enough for you? I don’t know what else to do.”

“Well, I’m sorry it’s so hard for you to be with me,” Alex says bitterly, wiping furiously at his eyes and refusing to meet Henry’s.

"Alex—"

“No,” Alex interrupts angrily, “get it off your chest! I can’t wait to hear all about how much work I am to be with. You know what, if you’re just gonna leave me again then you might as well go ahead and do it now. Save us both the hurt.”

Or: the fight.

(Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Fighting, Healthy Relationships, Alex Claremont-Diaz Has Abandonment Issues, Comfort, Healthy Conflict Resolution, Conflict Resolution)

Too Much

Okay, so maybe Alex talked too much for them. It was fine. He could still sit with them at lunch, he just had to make sure not to talk so much. Just listen to them. He could do that.

The next day, and the day after, Alex sat with the same group of kids. Only, he no longer went on rants about movies or books or what he saw on the news that morning or what his parents talked/argued over at dinner.

Alex stayed silent, desperate to not be too much.

***

OR 5 times the people in Alex's life thought that he was too much + one time Henry assured him that he wasn't.

(Additional Tags: 5+1 Things, Hurt/Comfort, Alex Claremont-Diaz Needs a Hug, Alex Claremont-Diaz Has ADHD, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author Projecting, author's first fic)

the common tongue of you loving me

Where did kissing come from? Henry has always wondered. Why kisses? At the beginning of history, which long forgotten person, which ancestor of all mankind, was the first to press their lips to another’s in a declaration of their love?

Was it a lover, perhaps, so consumed with devotion that they sought to use lips as well as fingertips? All followed the base urge of their bodies — the innate knowledge that the pressing of lips was the highest form of touch. But no one knows why.

Except when Alex quirks his cupid’s bow, licks into Henry’s mouth and lets his bottom lip rest on Henry’s, and oh. Henry knows.

(Additional Tags: Kissing, henry has so many feelings about kissing, Explicit Sexual Content, Grinding, Frottage)

All Your Closets Of Backlogged Dreams

It’s not that the loss of the President’s oldest child is a secret. It’s just that nobody talks much about the death of Catalina June Claremont-Diaz.

It takes Alex years before he talks to Henry about her.

(The painful story no one asked for that ties June into the movie.)

(Additional Tags: Past Character Death, Canon - Book & Movie Combination, Alex Claremont-Diaz Needs a Hug, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Loves Alex Claremont-Diaz, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Alex Claremont-Diaz Has ADHD)

i'm so in love (i might stop breathing)

He looks so fucking gorgeous like this, eyes half-lidded as he looks at Alex. He rests his head on Alex's chest, tightening his arms. Alex can see the tips of his ears turning pink.

"It's ! H G E J F M W C D 2 4 !" he mumbles in embarrassment, hiding his face in the crook of Alex's neck again. A beat of silence.

Then, almost shouting in joy, Alex yells, "Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor- Claremont-Diaz! That's your fucking password?"

"Shut up!" Henry hisses and Alex feels so many butterflies in his stomach that he's going to throw himself off of a cliff. Really, teenage girls with celebrity crushes have nothing on him at this moment.

or,

Henry is drunk and Alex is so in love he could die.

(being with you) makes the flame burn good

“Ah, would you look at that,” Alex says hoarsely, breaking the kiss, “Looks like you got a bit of batter on your neck.”

He lowers his head and licks a stripe up Henry's neck until his tongue reaches the spot below his ear and Henry shudders slightly in his arms.

“Tastes so good, baby,” Alex teases and fits his thigh between Henry's legs, feeling how hard he is and how immediately he grinds against Alex's body, searching for any form of relief.

“Oh, piss off,” Henry breathes and tangles his hands in Alex's curls, fisting his hand lightly and moving his hips a little faster.

(Additional Tags: Married Alex Claremont-Diaz and Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Canon, Kitchen Sex, Dom/sub, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Laughter During Sex, Body Worship, Sort Of, Hickeys, Begging, Praise Kink, Nipple Play, surprisingly there's NO food play in this, Dom Alex, Sub Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor)

we thought we ruled the world

Alex stares down at his latest text from Henry. A link to an article he’s seen about ten versions of so far. He’s managed to resist clicking on any of them, but now Henry is sending it, so he supposes he should at least give it a skim.

How Prince Henry’s Relationship With FSOTUS Lost Ellen Claremont The Election

............

Or, what would have happened if Ellen lost.

(Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, mostly happy at least)

pictures of you

Henry has seen photos of Alex before, of Alex’s easy grin and disarming smirk, wild curls awry and lean muscles on casually stretched biceps. He’s seen countless photos of him before.

But.

Alex has never sent him a photo before. Not like this.

---

Five times Alex sends Henry a selfie from bed (+ one time Henry sends him one)

the dresden dilemma

The Crown had expectations when it sent a member of the royal family abroad but after a handful of years navigating said expectations, Alex and Henry had become adept at circumventing them when possible. Like tonight: They were supposed to be in Berlin for the weekend, but after a bit of needling and a lot of promises to behave, Alex had convinced Shaan to arrange for them to spend at least one night outside of the city.

Dresden, Alex had argued, was close enough to Berlin that they weren't really disobeying the Crown and besides, what harm could a single night in Dresden do?

(Additional Tags: Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Loves Alex Claremont-Diaz, Established Relationship, Alex Claremont-Diaz has Trauma, cause he's an american kid and who doesn't, or at least he thought, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Fireworks, School Shootings, implied/referenced anyway, Guns)

the clementine thing

And, really, it doesn’t matter whether or not Alex explains it to Liam and the rest of his friends. They’ve never really discussed it between themselves through the years. Slowly, Alex had gone from asking Would you please peel this for me? to Please? to silently extending the citrus without any comment at all, just a soft smile. It’s one of the things that make them Alex-and-Henry; the silent conversations and the contentment in each other’s company.

Now, as Alex starts to flourish through his position on the lacrosse team, his slew of AP classes, and his role in student government, getting him to slow down at all is a feat. The only way that Henry can do it, guaranteed, is by one of those innocuous little fruits. There’s nothing Alex can’t do—surely, he could peel a fucking orange if he felt so inclined—but Henry delights in being able to do this for him.

-

Five times Henry shares a clementine with Alex, and one time Alex returns the favor

(This is one of my favorites, please read this ❤️)

In the Low Lamp Light, I Was Free

“You wanna go again?” Alex asks, pressing the back of his head into the pillows, offering his throat more fully to Henry’s hungry mouth, and when Henry laughs and retrieves another condom and the little bottle of lube from his toiletry bag, he adds, “I had a thought, though. I thought, maybe… you could be inside me this time.”

(Movieverse; there were two condom wrappers on the floor in Paris.)

he is exactly the poem i wanted to write

There is no Turkey in Alex's room this year, but there is a prince.

AKA, Henry spends thanksgiving with Alex after the election and reflects on all of his dreams coming true.

(Additional Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Hand Jobs, Oral Sex, Anal Fingering, so fluffy it borders on worshippy, Porn with Feelings)

we might fall

A little ficlet of Alex and Henry in the hammock. Metaphors about falling.

lifeline of mine

Henry hates hospitals, has hated them since he watched his father wither away in one that smelled just like this one, that had the same unsettling chill in the air. And every time he walked into a hospital after losing Arthur, he would see his father’s ashen face, would feel the ghost of his cold skin prickling his own, would hear the slowing beep of his heart monitor. And now, it’s Henry in a hospital bed, not knowing what’s wrong with his body. And he’s scared, and he’s thinking about Arthur and…

“I saw him,” Henry whispers.

(Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Major Character Injury, Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hallucinations, Hospitals, Hospitalization, Hurt Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Worried Alex Claremont-Diaz, Sick Character, Sick Fic, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Needs a Hug, Forehead Kisses, Fever, Angst with a Happy Ending)

please don't ever become a stranger (whose laugh i could recognize anywhere)

Alex’s love language is physical touch.

Henry knows this—has known it from the first moment he’s met Alex, all wild curls and bright eyes and a smile that could breathe life into Henry’s little, fragile hife. He’d stuck out a hand at that first meeting, dejected when Henry didn’t even take it. Found a way to poke and prod Henry every single time they’d met after, sharp jabs hitting his shoulder and rough hits shoving him around.

Now, Alex’s fingers are gentle as they lace around his. His arms hold him tight to his chest. His hair tickles the nape of Henry’s neck, and the couch is entirely too small for the two of them but Henry doesn’t have the heart to kick him out.

Or, 5 times Alex clings tight to Henry and 1 time Henry finds out why.

Bear with me

The first time it happened, Henry was not having it.

“For the last time, I’m not helping you shave your arse.”

—

In which Alex is very hairy, and Henry sort of has a thing for it. Not that he'd admit it, though.

(Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Post-Canon, Canon - Book, But can fit the movie verse too, tzp is a walking thirst trap, this was supposed to be crack but became quite serious real quick, Domestic Fluff, Mentions of Sex, No Smut, Body Hair Appreciation, Healthy Relationships)

i ask you how you’re doing (and i let you lie)

The first time Henry sees it happen, he knows instantly that it is not the first time it has ever happened. They’re sitting in the living room of the brownstone, the two of them surrounded by their favorite people in the world, a night of board games long abandoned in favor of mocking the eighth season of Game of Thrones.

“God, don’t you have an off switch?” June groans, laughing as she chucks a piece of popcorn in Alex’s direction while he rambles passionately about the international legal implications of the Red Wedding. Nora cackles. “Whatever you do to thank Henry for putting up with you, it’s not nearly enough. Jesus, I can’t believe he put a ring on your loud mouth.”

Or: Alex is fine. Really, he’s fine — he just wants Henry to stay, even if Alex is too much. Henry just wants his husband back.

but i'd put you first a million times over

Henry first noticed it shortly after the Waterloo incident. Apparently, it hadn’t been enough to thrust all their private thoughts and emails into the public eye; they had to be thrust into the limelight as well.

Or the 5 times Henry asked the Crown for better security, plus one time he no longer had to.

(Additional Tags: Protective Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Paparazzi, Hurt/Comfort, 5+1 Things, Hurt Alex Claremont-Diaz, Post-Canon)

in every scenario

Henry can practically hear Alex thinking. They’re curled up in bed, Alex’s head resting on his chest, and his mind is so loud. He can hear it in the rustling of the sheets, in Alex’s hand skating up his ribcage; the anxious curl of his toes against Henry’s ankles. He’s nearly vibrating with thought.

Henry’s hand tucks into the base of Alex’s spine. “Love,” he murmurs, ducking his chin to look down at his boyfriend. “What on earth are you thinking about?”

-

Or, Alex has something important on his mind.

Long fics:

all that glitters (is not gold)

Alex Claremont-Diaz has it all. His mom won the election, he’s got the perfect boyfriend. He gets to love Henry out loud. Everything is great. Perfect.

Except for the itch under his skin every time he goes outside, and the tightness in his chest when he goes online, and the fact that he can’t fucking sleep.

But it's fine. He's fine. Really.

—-

Or: after the emails, Alex Claremont-Diaz isn’t fine.

(The masterpiece. The firstprince sequel. The canon sequel.)

But I love him, whether or no.

Henry moves to New York City to help Pez with the opening of his new bar in the East Village. The location—fortunately for business, but unfortunately for Henry’s sanity—is directly across the street from a fire station. The sound of sirens is bad, Alex the gorgeous firefighter is worse. But when Alex helps Henry avoid a near catastrophe the night of the bar’s opening, the two form a tentative friendship that starts to develop into something more.

(Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Firefighters, Firefighter!Alex, Canon typical mental health issues for Henry, Canon typical struggles with grief for Henry, Canon typical child of divorce issues for Alex, Canon typical struggles with sexuality for Alex, Firefighter injuries, Hospitalization, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Angst with a Happy Ending)

the poem you make of me

After being discovered on Instagram as a teenager, Alex Diaz is thriving as a social media influencer and model who just landed a high profile, high fashion contract with Calvin Klein. Alex can get any girl he wants, and he’s loving it. Meanwhile, British poet Henry Fox has just arrived in L.A. to kick off a North American tour promoting his new, steamy book of gay erotic poetry, and he’s attracting a lot of attention.

Bad blood is immediately sparked between them when Henry blows Alex off at their first meeting. Several tabloid rumors and an Instagram tantrum later, Alex and Henry are reluctantly thrust together to make nice, resulting in a grudging friendship and a magnetism between them that Alex can't explain. Why is Henry's poetry making Alex feel like this? And just what is it about Henry Fox that gets to him so much?

God Save the Blessed American President Mom

["June stopped by at lunch; she showed me a delightful channel called Hallmark, which repeats the same story every hour after they swap one round of white, straight, small-town conventionally beautiful actors for another. It was entertaining.”

“June and I used to play a drinking game with those. Take a shot every time someone goes ice skating, sledding, or leaves the big city for their tiny hometown.”

“Good lord, you must’ve been sloshed in the first ten minutes.”]

***

On December 4, 2021, an attempt is made on President Ellen Claremont's life.

Alex gets shot instead.

How wonderful life is (while you're in the world)

The corner of Henry’s mouth. It’s disappeared now, covered by the oxygen mask fixed securely around his head, but if Alex concentrates hard enough, he can see it sprawled out in front of him. Every ridge, every bend and edge and turn of it.

He knows Henry’s heart. And that’ll be enough.

(or: the one where henry gets shot and alex is a goddamn mess.)

[caramelcleopatraa]

Golden Hour

word count: 1k

x: finished this short thing in an hour at work...... nothing else to say... enjoy :)

content: You sing “Golden Hour” for Roman Reigns at his wedding. Roman x Semeni, Roman x Reader, angst

You had been invited to sing at a wedding. You were excited. You think. You haven't gotten to sing at a wedding in a long time. Of course, this was different this time. Who’s wedding? Roman and Semeni, your longtime friends that have stuck with you since high school, despite you all pursuing different paths. A pro wrestler, a singer, and a model. Who knew you three would go on to be so successful. But that’s not the thought lingering in your mind, no, your heart as you clutch the microphone with obnoxiously sweaty hands.

It was just two lovers 

Sittin' in the car, listening to Blonde

Fallin' for each other

Pink and orange skies, feelin' super childish

No Donald Glover

Missed call from my mother

Like, "Where you at tonight?" Got no alibi

I was all alone with the love of my life

You stood at the front of the shiny marble dance floor, accompanied by a shiny, immense grand piano, and a string quartet. You stood farther out in front of the instruments to be seen, but not too far to the point where you were distracting. Singing Golden Hour for the newly wed as they twirled across the dancefloor, love written across their faces. You could almost smile. Almost

She's got glitter for skin

My radiant beam in the night

I don't need no light to see you

Shine

It's your golden hour (oh)

You slow down time

In your golden hour (oh)

God, that annoying, unbearable pain in your chest as you sang the song to your best ability, not showing the state you were trying to desperately betray. Why weren't you happy? Your best friend is getting married. It's not new news. Neither is the widespread burning in your chest. But you thought you had finally gotten over yourself. Countless journey entries, therapy sessions, hour phone calls to your friend Gianna, who tried her best to console you and be with you every time you called. But seeing them together, hand in hand, dancing along to your voice with their love for each other pushing and floating them across the floor. It was unendurable.

We were just two lovers

Feet up on the dash, drivin' nowhere fast

Burnin' through the summer

Radio on blast, make the moment last

She got solar power

Minutes feel like hours

She knew she was the baddest, can you even imagine

Fallin' like I did?

The string quartet sang along with you, cheering them on into their new path in life. Something you should be doing, but you're not. Closing your eyes. That's what you had resorted to doing. Closing your eyes, singing the best you could. You imagined a wonderful white and blue room, adorned with ambient lighting and clouds everywhere. Fog covered the ground, but formed around your feet as you walked through. So captivating, but free at the same time. You wore a wonderful white gown, with silver accessories that shined bright in any room. And you looked up at Roman, wearing a designer black suit, with a silver clip with etched in diamonds attached to his suit, and a blue handkerchief. 

For the love of my life

She's got glow on her face

A glorious look in her eyes

My angel of light

I was all alone with the love of my life

She's got glitter for skin

My radiant beam in the night

He took your hand as you two moved across the thick fog. No audience, no guests or family members, just you two. Sharing a special intimate moment with each other. Letting your love cloud your mind. Interfere with your judgment. Living in this beautiful moment. Your whole body tingled, feeling a gust of cold wind, dispersing your picture perfect daydream. They had glided past you like two flies in the hot summer heat. Her gigantic snow white dress brushing your toes as they smile stayed still. Well it was working until now. It's almost as if her snapping you out of your daydream made it worse. If only it was real

I don't need no light to see you

Shine

It's your golden hour (oh)

You slow down time

In your golden hour (oh)

A singular tear rode down your painted face. Staining the layers of makeup you had put on hours before the occasion. The camera man took a picture of you, probably mistaking your hot tear for a tear of joy. He couldn’t be more wrong. God, why were you here? Why did you even offer to do this for them? You should’ve known that you were going to break. It hurts. Seeing them together. In love. In a celebration and cheers to future happy memories, here you are. Questioning your placement here. Among these happy souls, as you stare holes into the side of their head. With anger? Disgust? Sadness? You didn't know. Maybe all three. Maybe none. The piano quiets and the string quartet fades. They take one longing look at eachother, and kiss. A loud explosion of head pounding applause followed. And you fakely followed suit. You wonder if you would have been more forward with him, that you would be standing in her place. All of these people would be clapping with you instead of her. If you would have told her to leave him alone, maybe they would have never gotten married. And you wouldn't be standing there, cursing yourself for being so scared. You looked at him with longing, and her with confused jealousy. As she stood there, and danced with your first love. They looked at you with unnerving happiness, their eyes and smiles thanking you for giving them such a special moment to remember. And you smiled too, wiping your tears to make things seem more dramatic. But Roman's face changed. Seeing right through your paper thin smile. And you knew he would ask you about it later.

Can they even imagine falling like you did?

🏷️ tags :) @reignsboy19 @2-muchsauce @theninthwonder @harmshake @alichesmi @thesamoanqueen @alyyaanna @empressdede @badbitchcentralinc @christinabae @fame-ass-ers @southerngirl41 @cyberdejos2 @murrylove @sassginaswanmills @pixiedust4000

[luveline]

Hi, I’ve never sent a request before so forgive me if this sounds weird I’m still learning how to use Tumblr lol but what if Eddie and reader go to Roan’s school for parent-teacher conference and her teacher shows them something Roan wrote or made expressing how much she loves her new mom and her new little family🩷 and reader cries from how happy and loved Roan and Eddie make her feel🥹

ty for ur request, it doesn't sound weird at all! eddie and roan —you and eddie attend roan's PT conference, stepmother!reader, 1.2k

You hide from the biting winter wind in Eddie's side. “Is it supposed to be this cold?” you ask. 

“You sound surprised. It's December,” he says, though he puts his arm over your shoulders to cover as much of you as he can. “I told you to wear a coat.” 

“The coat ruins my outfit,” you say. 

“You being cold ruins the outfit.” He nods towards the step up into the school building. “You could say the outfit ruins what's underneath–” 

“What's wrong with you?”  

“An appreciation for my wife?” 

“Stop saying that, you're confusing people. Steve asked me last night if we got married in private–” 

“You're always talking to Steve,” Eddie complains, “he doesn't even call me anymore, he just wants to talk to you.” 

He'd called to ask if he was still babysitting, actually, but Eddie wouldn't know that because he and Roan had been playing monsters at the time, speaking to each other in gruff tones while they made sandwiches for dinner. 

“You have a problem.” 

Eddie can't decide whether to bicker or dote, squeezing you tightly, a promise about new problems lost to the growing ruckus of the elementary school after hours. Some parents have brought their children, but the majority stand chatting in lines to see the teachers. You and Eddie have come through the main entrance of the building rather than the side door where Roan enters, and the walk to Mrs. Lundy's room is longer than usual, though far from unpleasant. Light shines through the windows where a rainbow of creatures have been painted, leaving glowing shapes of apricot, cerulean, and lilac on your skin as you pass. 

“You're like a Christmas tree,” Eddie says. 

“I just need some tinsel.” You point at the decorations hanging from Mrs. Lundy's doorway. “Like that.” 

“You want some tinsel? I'll get you some tinsel, baby, just give me a minute. And maybe distract her.” 

You refuse to help him steal from Mrs. Lundy, and spend your time in line waiting with his hands held firmly in yours to prohibit any theft. Eddie moans about being jailed but is otherwise content. He quite likes it, actually, rearranging your fingers to stroke your knuckles. 

Mrs. Lundy is smiling, happy to see you and brag about your girl. She starts with Roan's general education, her behaviour, her grades, though this young she doesn't have grades so much as milestones. Roan is smart but no wizz kid (not that you care), she's kind (but not always good at sharing), she's loud, and rambunctious, a great artist, and she's very, very happy. 

“She talks about your wedding all the time. Every day. She tells us she's going to be the flower girl, and the best man, and that she has a beautiful dress.” Mrs. Lundy beams. “She's walking on sunshine.” The teacher's smile turns soft, almost wistful. “Well, she's Roan. You know what she's like better than I do.” 

Your cheeks ache with pride. 

“She's a good kid,” Eddie says. 

“Yes!” Mrs. Lundy reaches across the desk for a turquoise-coloured folder. “There was actually something I wanted to share with you both… You know we have creative writing assignments, and obviously we help them with making real sentences, but what she has to say is very much of her own volition.” 

Mrs. Lundy pulls a sheet of paper from the folder and puts it down in front of your hands. “The prompt was what makes you happy,” she says. 

The first sentence is simple. 

My mommy. 

A drawing of you decorates the page above the lines, so clearly you, your smile wide and pink. 

My mommy is kind and I love her. Dad sayd the wedding is speshul becase he loves her, but she will be my mom. She makes me so happy. Mommy says she loves me all of the time, and she brushus my hair. My best part of the day is when Y/N comes home and hugs me. We are so happy, and Lucky gets dinner. I love my dad too, and Uncle Wayn. 

Her spelling errors have been corrected in green pen, and her backwards letters are written forwards for her to copy. You read the entire paragraph in a blur, thinking about how long it must've taken her to get it all down, nearly an entire page in her bubbly handwriting, big letters running off of the page. 

“Needless to say,” Mrs. Lundy says, “that most children write about their families, or their pets, or their toys. But Roan was extremely focused on the word love. She's clearly going home to a loving home every night.” Mrs. Lundy smiles at Eddie. You nearly miss it, reading the paragraph again, and then a third time. 

“Can I take this?” you ask, clearing your throat, tears brewed and bobbing on your waterline, desperate to be shed. “Is that okay?” 

Eddie laughs and elbows you in the arm. “Come on, it's hardly news.” 

You wipe your eyes before you can cry in front of them both. “I'm sorry, just– can I?” 

Mrs. Lundy beams again, emphasising the well-worn smile lines at the corners of her lips and creasing beside her eyes. 

You hold it together well for a little while. Eddie talks over your wobbly silence, a hand on your shoulder, assuring Mrs. Lundy that you're all, in fact, very happy, and he's just glad that Roan is being a good student and friend to her classmates. Mrs. Lundy's kindness and Roan's love letter to you has knocked you entirely off kilter, and you're crying before you've reached the car. They're happy tears. 

“Come on,” Eddie says, taking the paper you've folded carefully from your fingers as they clench. “She's said nicer to you in person.” 

And sure she has. Roan loves hitting you with the saccharine when you're not expecting it. Drying her hair after bath time, totally distracted, she'll kiss your cheek and say, “You're so pretty.” She sprinkles I love you's wherever they'll fit like her dad does, and she shows it with little gifts and cuddles and invitations. Y/N, do you want to have a fashion show with me? Y/N, can we have ice cream in bed? Can I do your hair, please, mommy? 

“It's different. It's different,” you insist, scrambling to find the words. “She's…” You rub your eyes. Your makeup is smudging, but you can't help it. “I don't even know what to say.” 

Eddie shrugs. Lean shoulders, a loving arm behind your back, the car in sight but getting no closer, he comforts you in the middle of the parking lot while the passing headlights kiss your shoes. “You know how much she loves you, babe. This is a good thing, right? You're not upset?” 

“Not upset,” you clarify. 

“Okay, good. Is this a bad time for me to say that I am profoundly jealous right now? I used to get all the drawings and cards, I used to get Mother's day gifts. I have a mother's day card up in the attic… might have to get it out,” —he kisses your cheek— “just to cope.” 

You laugh through a sniffle. “Let's go get it,” you say. 

He presses Roan's assignment back into your hand. “You can keep that one, but don't get it out around me. I'm serious.” 

[chaithetics]

hey I had an idea for a stewy fic! Maybe it’s Roy!reader who gets scared on their wedding day (bc they’re a Roy and are not used to love) and stewy comforts them beforehand? I don’t know if that makes sense haha

Roy-ful Wedding Jitters

Pairing: Stewy Hosseini x Roy Reader

Word count: 2.1K

Author's note: Ah! I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry for how long this was in my inbox. I owe you big time and I'm getting around to the older requests, I really hope you love this and it was worth the note! Not proofread so do enjoy y'all! I think this is ending the biggest gap between fics I've had so I'm sorry, love you all! Also, wear sunscreen!

Chapter/content warning: 18+ MINORS DNI, established relationship, anxiety, not the best self-esteem, Roy childhood dynamics, mild cursing.

****************************

It was a peaceful morning, or it should’ve been, it was a peaceful-looking morning at least. Well peaceful as long as you didn’t look in a mirror and see the fear in your eyes or the growing shake in your hands. The weather was perfect, it was sunny and beautiful but it wasn’t too hot and even though you shouldn’t say it, if somebody forgot to wear sunscreen for a couple of hours, they’d get off burn-free. 

This day had been perfectly chosen, the location, venue, color scheme and of course, the weather to ensure it was the perfect location at the perfect time. Just as everything was when the Roy name was attached and you had a casual perfectionist like Stewy Hosseini as your groom. Your wedding day had been carefully curated as if it were an exhibition at the most pretentious and lauded of museums and galleries. The receipts, emails, and photos could be packaged like Sofia Coppola’s Archive and sold as another overpriced coffee table book that wouldn’t get touched beyond the hands of the wealthy at a ridiculous launch event. 

Despite the sheer perfection of this intimate Italian wedding, you were shaking slightly and there had been a ball of dread growing in your stomach the moment that woke you up. The kind of almost nausea you had that was pre-flying anxiety whenever you had a flight, the one that means you don’t eat the morning of and then feel even more nauseated later because of that. 

You rub your eyes and look at him, sleeping blissfully, completely ignorant of the shitstorm swirling inside of his bride. You’re still feeling anxious. Anxious to be this vulnerable in front of another human being, to be so vulnerable on an intimate level. Love is a weakness, a desire, and you’re declaring in front of everyone and legally that this person, this man holding you right now is your weakness. It’s terrifying. 

You get out of bed and start to pace as you think about how you’re just as cursed as everyone else in your family and all their doomed relationships that were infertile for love and how nobody in the Roy family ever got the memo of what a healthy relationship is. You start to anxiously scratch your neck as you come to the conclusion that just like everything else in your life, this day is doomed. It’s cursed in fact! You can’t help but think. 

Unsure of whether to scream, run away or cry you look around the room. You even think about climbing out of the window of the suite… Why are you thinking this when there’s a door. A goddamn door you could just climb out of! You facepalm yourself and mutter under your breath how stupid you are. These feelings are very real and it’s definitely not a trauma response or form of self-sabotage you think to yourself. 

Stewy wakes up and you hear him whisper that it’s because of your pacing as he looks at you with sleep still in his eyes and his hair handsomely but messily tousled from sleep. It’s only then that you realize that you had been pacing. 

“I need something to drink… juice… fruit juice.” You said as you paced around the room. 

“Fruit juice…?” Stewy asked curiously, he’d only just woken up and he was trying to keep track with the frantic rambling while also calming your nerves. 

“Yeah, fruit juice!” You said it almost defensively and then tried to take a deep breath but the oxygen wouldn’t go all the way down to the pit of your stomach like it should. “Your body absorbs glucose quicker through liquids than solids. ” You added on in a less defensive tone. 

“Um…okay?” Stewy was feeling more confused as he watched you. “Are you going to explain the difference between veins and arteries to me next?” He asked in a curious and gentle tone with a slight inflection of amusement. 

“Maybe my blood sugar’s low.” 

“Low? Your blood sugar? Are you okay?” Stewy’s voice was more concerned now and his face reflected that as his eyes widened and he tilted his head. Stewy quickly poured a drink and handed it to you, you drank it immediately while pacing with your back to him. 

“Maybe today is cursed?” “It’s not cursed, hon-” “But,” you cut him off. “Look at us, we’re sleeping in the same suite, same bed. I woke up as the little spoon Stew. It’s breaking tradition, bad luck, curse-” “That’s like not even a superstition, you’re not wedding superstitious.” He says as he runs a hand through his dark curls. 

“Maybe I should’ve been? This is-” “Honey, it’s a tradition. An outdated one that just doesn’t reflect modern relationships anymore. We live together. Kinda defeats that whole thing, that was when couples didn’t live together, it was arranged marriages and you met at the altar.” “I know.” You whisper, and you do. 

“Fortunately for us, that’s not our situation at all.” He smiles at you and you sigh as you look around, this hasn’t done anything for your anxiety yet though. 

“Did you ever think that-that… that well, anxiety is like a parasite-” You start to say before he cuts you off. 

You’re just taking turns doing it now, he cuts you off to reassure you and then you cut yourself off to catastrophize more. What a morning of the wedding day dynamic you’ll think about in 5 years. “No, I haven’t but-” Stewy sounds mildly flabbergasted but he’s still trying. “And I had this parasite left in me, that they didn’t even know to take out when I was born. An awful little parasite of the parasitic qualities of my parents and it just ate away… fed and grew during every fucking developmental stage Stewy.” “You don’t have a parasite.” He’s being soft and genuine with you as he speaks through all of the worst fears your spitting out at him right now. 

“No, I’ve become the parasite, the poison drips through and it trickled right into feeding and I’m… I’m just like him. I don’t want to be Stew, but I am.” There’s a desperation in your voice but also a resolution. “You’re nothing like your father. Right now, you share his last name and that is it. You are not him and you are not doomed to repeat the cycle.” Stewy says as he looks into your eyes. 

“I’m a parasite and I’m just consumed… I’m going to latch onto you and just ruin you and this is just going to become miserable Stewy. I’m a Roy, it’s just…it’s just how it works. Look at my parents. My dad and his marriages. My dad and every relationship he’s had.” You say as you frantically run your fingers through your hair. 

“Again, you’re not your dad. And you’re not your mother. We’re not your parents or any other weird item they’ve been a part of.” He says as he steps closer to you and tries to gently caress your arms. 

“You get rid of parasites through antiparasitics and antibiotics, not marriage! That’s li-like… that’s like signing away your life for the parasite to chew on!” You spit out nervously. 

“Good thing you’re not a parasite and you can’t marry them. And also for medicine existing.” Stewy says, he puts on a warm smile and his eyes glow as he tries to reassure you. “You’re okay babe, you’re okay. Just talk to me, just some jitters? What’s going on?” 

His voice is so gentle as always and perfect. The way he speaks is just warm and inviting, like a cosy bath you just want to sink into and forget about everything in. His stupidly perfect voice just always had a way of making you melt, whether that was when he was trying to reassure you at your breaking point (right now), flirting with you and even when he was talking Wall St finance bro jargon and rubbish. 

You took a deep breath and looked at him, your eyes were watery. 

“Fuck…Now my eyes are watery and I’m going to get scolded for being puffy when they do make up, Stew.” You wiped your eyes and Stew quickly pulled you into his arms again and you rested your head against his chest as you tried to breathe. 

“Some deep breaths honey, I love you and you love me.” He rubs your back gently in a comforting pattern and you take some deep breaths as you keep your face pressed against his comforting warmth. 

“I do love you.” You whisper against his chest, you’re feeling a bit calmer now and enjoying the circular motions of how he’s gently caressing your back. Your words bring a smile to his face which you don’t see. 

“Uh-huh, that’s why we’re getting married. We love each other lots, and always will. I haven’t seen the dress but I know you’re going to look smoking.” He says sweetly but the playful tone is evident and it makes you smile a little.

There’s still a feeling of terror dwelling inside of you but it’s easing up a bit, you look at him Stewy and you can’t help but be that scary thing, the thing your siblings run from and your father scolds, but vulnerable. 

“What if I fuck it all up? That’s all… That’s all that Roys seems to be able to do.” You say sadly as you look up at him, you love him and it’s all you want to do. 

Stewy gently caresses your face, his soft fingertips dancing across your cheek and he smiles adoringly. 

“Well, it’s a good thing that in a few hours you’ll be a Hosseini.” You both let out a small chuckle at that and your eyes get a little teary at how he knows just how to disarm you perfectly with his big brown eyes, and his sweet and silly humour. “But even if you weren’t,” he adds on tenderly. “It doesn’t mean you’re the people before you, or your siblings. This isn’t bad, this doesn’t make you weak. It’d be such a lonely life if you never let anyone in, honey. Nobody deserves to feel the kind of loneliness you think you deserve because you grew up with that man and never experienced the love you deserved. That wasn’t normal or your fault. You’re worth love, you let me in and I love you. I loved you before you did and I love you even more now, and I’m just going to keep loving you.” His words are earnest and you can’t help but become even more tearier. It’s not from self-doubt or self-hate like it was before. Instead it’s from being so seen and loved by Stewy. Having someone reassure your worries and reactions, confrontations to being loved. Something that’s just so, so, so, so foreign to the Roys. 

You look up at his big beautiful brown eyes and you see that he means every word he’s just said. He’s still hugging you but he caresses your cheek with one hand and you let out a content sigh at that. 

“I’m sorry for… for this… I’m just… I don’t know, scared and-and you know how it gets sometimes. I love you more than anything though Stewy.” You admit as you lift your hand up to sit on his cheek and feel his always perfectly trimmed beard tickle against your palm and fingertips. 

“I know, I know, and I love you.” He says back softly. 

You lean and tilt your head and you two kiss, it starts off soft and you can’t help but deepen it as you once again admit to yourself, the all-consuming love you have for him and the need you have for him. The desire and need that is sparked by his simple existence, his cologne, his beard and how it feels against your face and hands, his voice of warm honey on a cold day. 

His hand is firmly on your waist and he kisses you back, your hand snakes up to caress and run through his hair and you gasp for air against his lips but you don’t dare to pull away. You love him and you’re happy to have him, so happy. You kiss passionately as you know this is the start of the next milestone, the milestone happening today. He genuinely cares about you and you’re loved and you love, you love him. You’re capable of receiving and giving love and as you kiss your groom in your room before the intimate but big-deal ceremony, you know this is right. This is what’s right and you deserve this.

[onebourbon-oneshot-onetear]

Dating Shoresy Headcannons

Writing this because it is CRIMINAL how little Shoresy/Letterkenny content there is on this website. I go feral for this man it isn't even funny. I mean, look at his smile...

Shoresy loves cuddling. He loves to be the big spoon AND the little spoon, depending on his mood.

He’s happy? He’s the big spoon all night long, pulling you so you’re tucked under his chin and his arms are wrapped around you. 

He’s feeling kind of down? You better hold onto him. He will burrow himself in your side and wrap your own arms around him if he needs to. Bonus points if you stroke his hair without him having to ask. He’s so soft. 

Very much into casual PDA. Despite his reputation, with you he isn’t as in your face with it. He likes the small gestures with you. He’s sitting? You get pulled into his lap. Standing next to him? His arm is around your waist. He’s leaving the room? Mandatory kiss on your cheek. 

His family loves you. His adopted family is very important to him so he loves how well you get along with them. Even to the point where they give you a special nickname, just like everyone else. You go to every Shore reunion, make up dances with Kayla, and are even helping Carrie and Free plan their wedding. 

You started calling him Waffles, and as sweet as that was, once you started doing it around the team he shut that down real fast. 

Speaking of the team, they also love you. The boys are now officially your big brothers. If you need help with anything, there will be at least two of them there. Sometimes they’re helpful. Sometimes they're not. But at least they try in their own way. And if a guy looks at you the wrong way then Lord help him because he will have 8 grown men beating the hell out of him. 

With that being said, if Shoresy catches a man being disrespectful to you, it is an immediate punch being thrown. No questions asked. And if the other team is chirping about you? Shoresy will be in the penalty box for the rest of the game, no questions asked (along with half the team).

You're their unofficial nurse, patching them up after scraps, games, and helping them with the occasional hangovers. Your nurse duties include homemade ice packs, the occasional wrapped ankle, and massages, but only for Shoresy. 

As much as he talks a tough game he's such a softie. He has no problem being vulnerable with you. Talking about your future together, his stress about games, his doubts. He lays it all out for you and you are always there for him. It’s one of the things he fell for when he first met you. 

You always babysit Big Sexy when Shoresy’s out of town. She even learned to say your name. Shoresy seemed a little betrayed, but when he saw how excited you were about it he was so amused. 

You go to every one of his games. In the time you’ve known him, you don’t think you had ever missed a single one. He always said that you didn’t have to go to all of them, especially the away ones, but you know that he loved seeing you there, so you went every time. Your bum was always in a seat. Even on nights he was reffing the high school games, you were there. It always made him smile, seeing you cheer out of the corner of his eye. And if he scored a goal, he’d celebrate with his team and then give you the biggest smile. 

Even Nat saw how much you meant to him. She had always known the serious hockey player, but she hadn’t seen him be serious over a significant other like this. If he wasn’t at practice, then he was with you. If there was a lull in conversation that he couldn’t fill with hockey or a smart ass comment, he was talking about you. It was nice to see that side of him. 

You are constantly stealing his hats and his sweatshirts. They smell like him, a mix of his cologne, his mint dip, and the crisp air that always lingered from the rink. You often wore them to bed and to lounge around the house and he thought it was so sexy. He loved seeing his last name (and the 69) on your back. He would think it’s the sexiest thing you could wear, until he saw you trying on his hockey sweater. He knew he would never see a hotter sight than that. 

You make sure to always have a can of dip in your car or in your apartment for him. You don’t condone it, warning him of the dangers of cancer and stuff like that, but you knew he liked to have it on hand. He definitely tried to dip less when he was around you. 

He makes sure to tell you he loves you every day. Usually multiple times a day. He’ll even send you random texts throughout the day telling you he loves you. 

He loves it when you lay in bed and trace his tattoos with your fingers. He gets the biggest shivers but it warms his heart so much. 

Believe it or not at first he was so self conscious about his missing tooth. He always wore his denture so he didn’t scare you off, but the first time you saw him without it, you demanded he never wear it around you again. You loved his missing tooth. It was a part of him, and you thought it made his adorable smile all that much cuter. 

His chirping skills have definitely rubbed off on you. Sometimes you even surprise yourself with the things that come out of your mouth, but he just laughs, pulls you into his chest, and gives you a small kiss on your temple. The man is so proud that you are just as much of a smart ass as he is. If someone is being super rude or annoying the two of you will tag team the put downs so it can be a full ten minutes of nothing but insults and sarcasm. 

The man is a space heater. He can stand outside in the snow with absolutely no problem. Your fingers are cold, he’ll grab your hand and they’re thawed in minutes. When you have cold toes in bed, you’ll put them on his calves and in minutes they are warmed up. Even if he jumps at the sudden cold but he doesn’t really mind, as long as you are happy. 

[mymoodwriting]

Request for Anon (yandere co-stars Younghoon&Hyunjae) 6.6k, yandere, idol/actor!reader, period drama, inappropriate behavior, power imbalance, harassment, sexual harassment, alcohol consumption, non-con, dub-con, secret recording, blackmail, tag-team, handjob, fingering, breast play, penetration, double penetration, possessive behavior (@starillusion13)

“And cut!”

The smile faded from your lips and you tried to move the hand around your waist, only to be pulled closer by the owner of said hand. You were leaning away from your co-star, but that just encouraged them to move closer, holding you up so you wouldn’t fall.

“The scene’s over, you can let go now.”

“Why don’t we rehearse it again, just you and me.”

“I’m good.”

You made sure you had steady footing before shoving Hyunjae off of you, and this time he got the message. You gave him a content smile and rushed off to your dressing room. Once inside you could take a breath and relax. Being around guys was always an issue since you were an idol, but this was something new entirely. Your fans would understand this was work, but if your co-stars kept being so weird it would become a problem. This show was your first leading role, and your chance to really break into the industry. You wanted this to be a success but the two male actors working alongside you, Younghoon and Hyunjae, weren’t making it easy.

This was a historical drama where you played a princess who had recently lost her family, leaving her as the sole heir to inherit the throne. The problem of course was the fact that the kingdom still needed a king, which meant your character had to be wed. Many princes wanted to take on the role, but two in particular seemed the most promising. Besides competing with each other, they were both trying to win the princess’ heart.

You didn’t mind playing a damsel in distress and having two men fight for your affections. You had portrayed such feelings while filming MVs before. The real problem was Younghoon and Hyunjae in real life. They were practically method acting, and doing all kinds of off-script and off-screen things to get your attention. It was very uncomfortable at times, but the director never called them out on their behavior. You had mentioned it before to them and the producer, but they said it all fit the characters and would only heighten the performance. It seemed like there really was no difference between the script and real life.

No one listened to you and just told you what to do. You were still too new in the field to be taken seriously. As much as you wanted this all to stop, you were determined to bite your tongue and see this through. You might not get a chance like this again, and you certainly weren’t gonna let two men ruin your career. Besides rehearsals and script reading, you avoided them. You always declined their invitations to go out after hours, or let yourself be alone with either of them. They really hadn’t gotten the hint yet, or maybe they just thought they were all that. You knew that Younghoon was rather popular, having appeared in other dramas before, and Hyunjae was also known, even if he was seen as more of a pretty face than an actual actor.

Outside of their rather inappropriate and rude behavior, they were good co-stars, and good actors. When the cameras were rolling you all played your parts and could do a good job. It’s just when they stopped that things became weird. They were so professional around everyone, like they were completely different people, but when it came to you, it was a whole other story. You could tell there was something in their eyes whenever they caught your gaze. While they stared it seemed like there was no one else but the two of you, but you’d quickly look away before someone noticed.

“Are you excited for tomorrow?”

“Why would I be excited?”

“Cause it’s our first kiss scene.”

“What!? We’re supposed to be filming-”

“I know, but I talked to the director.” Younghoon explained. “Since in the scene our characters would be kissing for the first time, I thought it’d be good to film it earlier as we’re both still a bit awkward with each other, and that reality can help further sell where our characters are at.”

“I… I guess…”

“I’m so glad you agree. I really wish we could practice the scene, but we can practice the other scenes down the line. Although Hyunjae might get a bit jealous, which is good.”

“Is it?”

“The chemistry between all of us will play well this way. We really should do our own private rehearsals, you know.”

“But it wouldn’t make sense for our characters.” You quickly retorted. “As the princess I can’t just be left alone with one of the princes. You’re supposed to be fighting each other above all.”

“Hm, true, although me and Hyunjae are good friends. Don’t worry though, we can make our rivalry look real. The news might even write about how we actually hate each other.”

“Cool, you two do that. I’m gonna go get out of make-up.”

“Ah, shall I come with? We are done for the day after all.”

“It’s fine. I’m sure you have-”

“Come on now. It’ll be good for our bonding. We have to get to know each other better anyway, we have a press tour once we’re done filming to promote the show.”

“Right…”

Younghoon pushed you along over to hair and make-up. To your unfortunate surprise Hyunjae was already in a chair. He had been reading the script when he saw you two walk in and immediately perked up.

“Hello, y/n, what brings you here?”

“Gosh you can be stupidly handsome sometimes, can’t you?” Younghoon teased. “We’re here to get our make-up off like you.”

“I wanted to hear y/n say it.” Hyunjae remarked. “But I appreciate the compliment. Do you think I’m handsome too, y/n?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Come on, you can be honest. Tell me, would you fuck me?”

You choked on air and immediately turned away from Hyunjae. You wound up coughing a bit, trying to steady your breathing. You could hear the two others, and staff, chuckling to themselves, but this wasn’t funny to you at all. Once you were alright you turned back around.

“That’s not an appropriate thing to say.”

“And you didn’t answer no.” Hyunjae smiled. “It’s alright, I know what you’re really thinking anyway. Sit down, the sooner you get out of make-up the sooner we can leave.”

“We?”

“The director wants us all to go out for dinner.” Younghoon stated. “To celebrate the end of pre-production and the beginning of the actual filming. Which means we can’t have a lot of alcohol, but it’ll still be fun.”

“Oh.”

Today had been the last day of dress rehearsal, giving everyone a chance to get used to the make-up and costumes before the real filming began tomorrow. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to celebrate just yet, but everyone could use a positive boost before the production work began. Once out of make-up you went to your dressing room to get out of costume and change into normal clothes. It wasn’t all that shocking to find Younghoon and Hyunjae waiting for you since they wanted the three of you to go together. You didn’t have much choice in the matter so you just followed along. 

The car ride to the restaurant felt awkward to you. They filled in the silence talking and would occasionally try to bring you into the conversation but you only answered in short sentences. They didn’t push anything which you were grateful for. As soon as you arrived at the restaurant you got out of the car and went off to find your manager and friends. You wouldn’t be able to avoid the two of them the whole night since the main cast was seated together. The boys made a point to sit on either side of you to keep you sandwiched between them. It was gonna be a long night, but at least you had plenty of practice on how to put on a smile.

The other two boys were more popular than you, so they easily got caught up in other conversations with staff, along with the director and producer. You made some small talk with those around you, still very new to a big production and all the people around. Everyone was still friendly, and excited to work with you for the next few months. The night went well, although you felt rather shy when Younghoon wanted to make a toast, and had you and Hyunjae stand up to give it alongside him. You were poured a shot, and it was only right to take it. Then Hyunjae insisted you take another as he hadn’t poured you the first one. You didn’t really drink, and you weren’t planning on doing so tonight, yet here you were taking two shots.

Since you didn’t drink, you were very much a lightweight and two shots could do some damage. Of course this dinner wasn’t meant to last long but by then you were a little gone and needed help. In your haze you couldn’t make out much but you could recall Younghoon and Hyunjae volunteering to take you back to your room. After that things were blurry, but you did wake up in your own bed, so that was a good sign. You had a bit of a headache but apparently the boys had left you plenty of remedies to help. Once you felt a bit better you made your way to set, getting into hair and make-up, looking over the script. Then you suddenly remembered what you were filming today. A kissing scene.

“Fuck…” 

It wasn’t something to really be upset about. You were going to wind up kissing them eventually, and multiple times at that. This was work, and none of it was real, at least for you. Once you were all set you joined your co-stars, taking in the scenery you’d be filming in. Younghoon happily approached you, coming up from behind and hugging you. A yelp escaped your lips, but he just kept smiling.

“Good morning, how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.”

“Did you sleep well?”

“I… I guess… uh… thanks for last night.”

“Ah, do you remember?”

“Not much, but I got back safely, and my manager said you left me a lot of hangover remedies.”

“We did. You’re such a cute drunk you know that.”

“I wasn’t drunk.”

“Tipsy then, either way, let’s do a good job today.”

“Yeah.”

🖤

Since this was such a big project you couldn’t do any other activities. You’d leave messages for your fans on SNS and with approval showed some pictures of you on set. You avoided sharing any of you with your co-stars, not wanting to stir up drama. There had already been some backlash about you partaking in this production, but everyone was on your side to defend you. Being an idol was great, but you knew that was a short lived career compared to acting, and you wanted to be able to do both for as long as possible. At the beginning of filming the boys actually seemed to behave themselves, making things much easier for you, but of course that was only ever gonna be short lived.

“Princess-”

“Stop, please, just stop.” You took a breath and looked to the heavens. “This isn’t about what I want, it never has been, and it never will. I have to do what’s best for the kingdom.”

“What you want does matter. If you can’t do what’s best for yourself, how can you look after your kingdom? Even if I were to become king, this place is your home.”

“Which is why I must do the right thing.”

“You can do the right thing and still have what you want.”

You were suddenly turned around and kissed, deeply. Your eyes went wide and you immediately shoved Hyunjae away from you, followed by a swift slap across the face.

“What the fuck, Hyunjae!”

“Cut! Cut!”

The cameras stopped rolling and you wiped away the taste left on your lips. You could tell everyone was whispering to themselves. The director came over.

“What happened?”

“That wasn’t part of the script.” You remarked. “He just-”

“I’m sorry, I’m very sorry.” Hyunjae apologized while bowing. “I was so caught up in the moment it just felt like my character would do that. I’m so sorry.”

“No, no, don’t apologize.” The director said. “I felt that as well. Even your reaction was on point y/n.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“This is an important moment, you’re bearing your heart but also hiding it, knowing where your responsibilities lie, yet the prince cannot hold back hearing such things. He acts in the moment to show his passion and you respond accordingly. Even in this situation, you put your kingdom first. I liked this, we should keep this in and rework the scene a bit. Good job you two.”

“Ah, thank you, sir.” Hyunjae bowed. “Thank you.”

You were left speechless, not only did Hyunjae get away with this, but he’d get to do it again. You had time so you went off to your green room, needing a moment to settle your feelings and focus on the job. You felt so dirty for the unexpected kiss. Not to mention the potential scandals that could come out of this. If anything you were lucky the director wanted to add all that in, or else any pictures getting leaked would screw you over completely. You wanted to cry, but that would only make matters worse. When there was a knock at your door you took a deep breath and went to answer. You thought Hyunjae would be there to apologize, but instead you found Younghoon.

“Are you okay?”

“Just go away.”

“I’m serious. Did he hurt you?”

“Please leave.”

“Come on, let’s talk.” Younghoon pushed his way in. “I know you feel awful, and I’m sure he does too. That was something he shouldn’t have done.”

“Well, it worked out for him.”

“And you.”

“Really?”

“Well, you get to hit him again, and everyone thinks you guys were in the heat of the moment. I know this is your first big gig, but this isn’t something you should let ruin yourself. It’s gonna be alright.”

“You’re not really helping.”

“We’re more than halfway done here. You’ve done an amazing job so far, things are gonna work out just fine.”

“Whatever.”

Another knock was at your door, except it was just a staff telling you to be back in five. You got up and checked yourself in the mirror, Younghoon adjusting your costume a bit and giving you a thumbs up. He really didn’t help, but at least his positive demeanor could get you in a better mood. When you got back on set you felt some eyes on you, but you ignored them, just wanting to focus. You were handed a revised script, looking things over when Hyunjae approached.

“Look, I didn’t mean to upset you. It really was in the moment and just… I’m really, really, sorry. The last thing I want to do is make you hate me.”

“… let’s just keep things professional.”

“Of course.”

You couldn’t let your own feelings get in the way, so you just focused on work. After that incident both boys seemed to be on their best behavior. They were a lot friendlier with you than before, but still staying within professional boundaries. You supposed they just both really wanted to make it up to you for that whole mess. Even though Hyunjae was at fault, Younghoon also seemed to claim responsibility. Despite a rough start you began to get along with them. You’d even have them join you on some SNS posts where you’d make funny videos or do dance challenges. Along that save vein you let them post about you on their own socials. Some of the pictures they took were a bit sneaky, but they got really good angles.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?”

“It’s gonna be hell.”

“Is it?”

“We’re filming the wedding. Do you have any idea how much clothes and accessories the bride wears? Not to mention the make-up.”

“But it’s gonna be a lot of fun.” Hyunjae chuckled. “I want to be the first to see you.”

“Aren’t you gonna fight Younghoon for it?”

“It would be very in character. I wonder which of us will be the most popular among the viewers.”

“You’ve both done a great job.”

“But I really want to know which will be the popular ship.”

“We’ll find out during the press tour.”

“I’m really looking forward to that. Although I don’t know if I can just let you go.”

“Huh?”

“You got a whole other industry waiting for you when you’re done here. When would we ever get the chance to cross paths again?”

“I’m sure we will someday.”

“You promise?”

“I can’t make that promise.”

“Ouch. You don’t like me?”

“Hyunjae, like you said, we’re from different industries. I don’t always get to pick my schedules, and you have your own things to do.”

“I’d happily make time for you.”

“We’ll see.”

A leading role was definitely a lot more work than previous jobs, but you didn’t mind. It was all the more fun, and when you had some down time you loved to watch what else was being filmed. Towards the end of filming,everyone was looking forward to the big fight scene between Younghoon and Hyunjae, which was also the end for one of them. They had been rehearsing for a long time, and when the big day came everyone was on set. You were in costume and having the stylist working on you while you watched the scene play out. A roaring applause filled the air when the director yelled ‘cut’ and you were so excited to see this on screen in the coming weeks. Younghoon and Hyunjae noticed you nearby and rushed over, still covered in fake blood and real sweat. Their staff members rushed over with them, trying to clean them up and cool them off.

“Did you like it?” Hyunjae asked. “I looked so cool, didn’t I?”

“Says the loser.” Younghoon commented. “Did you see the whole thing?”

“Yes, I did. You both did a great job. I can’t wait to see the final edit of it.”

“Gosh, I wish I could hug you right now.”

“I’m in costume, so no.”

“I’d ask if you’re gonna miss me.” Hyunjae said. “But I’m still gonna be around. I have a few scenes left to shoot, and we haven’t done our final scene.”

“I know. I can’t get rid of you that easily.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Ya, nothing, let’s go.” Younghoon interrupted. “We have to clean up, come on.”

Younghoon grabbed Hyunjae and the two went off to their changing rooms. After such a scene everyone seemed in high spirits and the rest of the filming went well. Your scenes were all with other characters, so you didn’t see much of them until early the next morning. Despite going off to clean up, the boys still had some scenes in their bloody outfits, some specifically with you.

“… princess… why… why are you crying…?”

“You… you… why would you do this… you didn’t have to… why…”

“Sh, sh… it’s okay… don’t cry… this… this makes it easier… for you…”

“Liar… it just hurts…”

“You have to be strong… for your kingdom… for me… you’ll be a great Queen…”

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

“… you have nothing… to apologize for… be happy… my love… for me…”

Hyunjae smiled up at you, bloody teeth and all. Your tears blurred your visions and fell onto his face. Despite your pain he had a smile on his face til the very end. You held him tightly, weeping into his chest.

“Cut! Good job, everyone!”

“… y/n… y/n, darling, you can stop crying now.”

Hyunjae carefully moved to sit up, lifting up your face. You were still sobbing, and now you couldn’t help but choke out a laugh.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay, you did good.”

Hyunjae wrapped his arms around you and gently rubbed your back, chuckling a bit. He knew what it was like to be overwhelmed by your emotions in the moment. He held you until you calmed down, going with you back to your green room. Younghoon had heard the news and came over to see you. Your puffy red eyes made his heart melt.

“Aigoo, my poor girl, are you okay?”

Younghoon pulled you into his arms, assuring you that everything was fine. The two boys went into your dressing room with you, sitting on either side of you on the couch. You weren’t outright sobbing anymore, but you still had some tears.

“It’s okay if you just want to cry.” Younghoon assured. “You must have things bottled up inside.”

“Everyone will love the scene.” Hyunjae added. “You did amazing.”

You honestly felt so embarrassed about the fact you couldn’t stop crying. There was always a lot you had to hold back on as an idol, and the chance to shed some tears just opened the floodgates. At least that was your last scene for the day, so you could just cry until the tears dried up. The boys stayed with you until you were alright, not saying a word but letting yourself get some relief. Once you were alright, and they were sure, they let your staff in to help you clean up and get back to your room. It had been a long day for you, so you needed lots of rest.

The next day everyone was giving you words of encouragement and telling you that you did a great job. Even though you felt like that day was a misstep you got through the rest of filming just fine. Hyunjae still hung around the set, although he wasn’t always in costume. Since he didn’t have much else going on he’d always be around for your scenes, watching you and encouraging you. He was definitely there for your last scene with Younghoon, teasing the other, but also glad to be there to see things close out.

“It’s a beautiful morning.”

“It is.”

It was always hard to film with the light of a sunrise, so this scene had to be done right. You had a lot of expectations, but all these days of filming gave you confidence, and you wanted to end things on a good note. You wanted to be proud of your work.

“You’ll be a wonderful Queen.”

“I don’t think that title suits me. Neither did that of princess.”

“Yet you took care of the kingdom and its people. The title could not be held by another.”

“And what of you? Do you promise me that you’ll be a good King?”

“This is your kingdom, my love. I will care for it as I care for you.”

“I’ll keep you to that.”

Younghoon leaned down to place a soft kiss against your lips, letting it slowly turn to something with more passion. That is until the director yelled ‘cut’ but you two took your time to end things. Younghoon pressed his head against yours, the two of you catching your breath.

“I’d really like to do that again.”

“Maybe if we work together in the future.”

“No, not work, for real.”

“Younghoon, are you-”

“Yes. I am, and I mean it. I want us-”

“No. Don’t say anything, you know what the answer is, so don’t ask.”

You could only offer a smile before disappearing. There was one more day of filming, but you were done with the boys. They still watched, and you could feel Younghoon’s deep stare following you. There wasn’t much avoiding it, especially at the wrap-up party. Just like before you were sat with your co-stars. And like last time the two boys spent most of the night chatting with others. You also didn’t feel as awkward this time around, having gotten to know the people you were working with. The only problem now was the alcohol.

Since this party was to celebrate the end of filming everyone was drinking, and a lot. You still weren’t much for drinks, and it wouldn’t do well with your image. Although at one point in the night Younghoon and Hyunjae insisted they pour you a shot and it was hard to say no given that they had done this before. You took a shot with each of them, getting cheers from everyone around. At least that was done with, but later into the night they insisted on another, saying they didn’t remember the first time. No one took your side in the matter, probably too drunk to remember too, so you took another two shots.

After those you definitely didn’t feel like yourself, but you tried to act normal. It wasn’t long after those second shots that the party started to wind down and people were going home. You were more than ready to leave and go up to find your manager, asking them to bring the car around. They obviously couldn’t drink at all since they had to be the ones to drive you back. You waited outside the restaurant, thankfully the night wasn’t so cold. The car pulled up and you reached to slide the door open when another came over and did it for you.

“Heading back already?”

“Uh… yeah, gotta rest up. I’ll be going back to my usual schedules soon.”

“So you were just gonna leave without saying goodbye?”

“You were busy…”

“I’m never too busy for you.”

Younghoon leaned in for a kiss but you placed your hand at his mouth to stop him. You had been worried about something like this happening all night given how much he drank. There probably wasn’t even much point in saying anything since he probably wouldn’t remember.

“You should get back to the others, I’m sure Hyunjae-”

“Where are you going?”Hyunjae asked, approaching the two of you. “You’re not gonna say goodbye?”

“It’s late and I have to get going.”

“Then we’ll go with you.”

“That’s not-”

“Come on. We got you back to your place last time, let’s do it again.”

Before you could protest, Hyunjae got into the car. Next thing you knew Younghoon was pushing you inside as well and getting in after you. He told your manager to just drive you back to your room, and that they’d be coming along like the previous time. You couldn’t really argue so you just nodded to your manager. They were likely both drunk and not thinking straight. The car ride was quiet and you were dreading when it came to a stop. The boys hopped out first, each holding a hand out to you in order to help. You put on a shy smile and stepped out. You were going to tell your manager to wait in order for the two boys to get a ride back but the quickly said they’d call for their own rides later.

They weren’t leaving much room for argument, so your manager left, and you were stuck with the two. They led you up to your room as they knew where it was, one of them getting the key from your bag and opening the door. If you had the chance to go in first you could have potentially locked them out, but instead Hyunjae walked in and Younghoon dragged you along. When the door shut behind you a chill went down your spine. Being alone with these two wasn’t a good idea. Hyunjae immediately laid down on your bed, making himself comfortable whereas Younghoon had yet to release your arm.

“Uh… you two should head back… I appreciate you bringing me here but-”

“We’re here cause you wanted us.” Younghoon commented. “So why would we leave?”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“Awe, you really don’t remember? We thought you were playing dumb out of embarrassment but two shots of liquor really messed with your memory, huh?”

“I… I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

“I’m not sure if I should be upset or giddy.” Hyunjae said. “But I can jog your memory.”

“What?”

The two boys shared a knowing look and then Hyunjae pulled out his phone. He seemed to be looking for something, and before you could ask you heard a voice.

“Please…”

“Please, what? You wanna cum? You gotta use your words, babygirl.”

It was your voice. You were begging and whimpering, sounding like a complete mess. You didn’t want to believe it, but it was hard to deny. Hearing your voice also sobered you up.

“I… I wanna… both… both of you…”

“Ah, you think you can take us both? When was the last time someone attended to your needs?”

“What the fuck is that!?”

“What do you think?” Hyunjae chuckled. “The last time we played.”

“You recorded me!?”

“How could we not?” Younghoon added. “You were so adorable.”

“Are… are you trying to blackmail me?”

“Why would we do that? No one else deserves to see and hear such beautiful things.”

“Then… then why-”

“We’re here to keep our promise, remember, well, I guess you don’t.” Hyunjae mentioned. “We only played a little bit, we didn’t get to feel you from the inside cause we had work tomorrow. But we promised to do it right once we were done filming. It’s over now, babygirl, we’re here to take care of you.”

“No, no… I was tipsy… and not thinking-”

“We had more drinks than you.” Younghoon reminded. “Perhaps you took advantage of us. Your two wonderful co-stars that were just trying to get you home after a night of drinks and celebration. We took some selfies and I accidentally hit record before you came onto me.”

“I… what are you insinuating…?”

“The life of an idol. You have to be so careful with any boy you interact with. I’m sure some of your fans weren’t happy about your role. You might get more backlash once the show airs. I know you can overcome all that with our help of course, but if we’re not on good terms… I can’t imagine how my fans will act. We wouldn’t want anyone digging around and finding our… secrets.”

“No, you guys-”

“You asked us to take care of you.” Hyunjae countered. “I have it all on video. You were whining about how you rarely get a good fucking since you’re so busy with schedules and can’t really make any guy friends. We offered our services, and you begged us to be here once we had the time. The press tour doesn’t start for another few days. Plenty of time for us to keep our word.”

“I… uh… no… no this-”

“It’s just between us. There’s no shame. I can’t imagine how difficult the life of an idol is. When you want to step away we could certainly help you get into your industry. You’d get some of your life back, as well as some freedom. When was the last time you were loved? Actually loved, and not just by adoring fans, hm?”

“I don’t know…”

“The answer was when you were with us, but I know you don’t remember right now. How about we help you with that?”

“This isn’t right, it isn’t-”

“Fair?” Younghoon questioned. “What’s not fair is you playing hard to get. Having you is the greatest gift. So many fans love you, but I’d get to love you for real.”

“What…?”

“Come on, don’t tell me you don’t feel anything? We’ve spent the last several weeks falling in love. You can’t tell me there’s nothing.”

“I-”

“That heat of the moment kiss was wonderful.” Hyunjae added. “I know I certainly felt something. Still do, gosh I’ve been waiting to be done with the show. It’s not fair I didn’t end up with you.”

“Next time don’t be the second lead.” Younghoon teased. “But we both can have her now. So what do you say?”

“This… this isn’t right…”

“Then let’s do all the wrong things.”

You were still trying to wrap your head around everything when Younghoon came over and kissed you. His lips tasted like alcohol and you could feel your own sobriety starting to leave you. Although after a moment you pushed him away, taking a breath.

“No… no, I already told you-”

“This will be our secret. Just the three of us.”

You didn’t get a chance to answer before Hyunjae yanked you onto the bed, climbing on top of you and pressing his lips to yours. He kissed you roughly, clearly desperate and no longer holding back. You didn’t kiss back, trying to get him off, but he wasn’t giving you much room to move. He only pulled away for air, staring at you with lust filled eyes. 

“Stop… we’re all… intoxicated…”

“Just a few drinks.” Younghoon commented. “To get us started.”

Hyunjae slid his hands up your shirt, feeling your skin. His sudden touch made you jump, but he kept you under him. Before you had the chance to try and stop him Younghoon grabbed your hands and pinned them above your head. A devilish grin adorned his face.

“Let’s create all those off-screen scenes, shall we?”

His words made you very shy, but you were still at their mercy. Your shirt was pulled up past your bra, then that was moved to expose your breasts. Hyunjae immediately took one into his mouth, his tongue swirling around your sensitive skin and giving your nipple a playful tug. Younghoon kept your arms pinned with one hand while the other massaged your lonely breast, getting a moan out of you. Next thing you knew there were fingers traveling down between your legs. A frustrated groan escaped Hyunjae’s lips as he had to pull away from your breast to get you out of your pants.

His movements clearly let you know he was getting impatient. He was quick to get your legs free, his face diving between your legs this time. You let out a yelp when you felt his nose running up along your panties. Hyunjae took in a deep breath, pushing your legs further apart. You felt his fingers start rubbing you through your panties, the fabric quickly getting wet as it was pushed against your folds. You couldn’t meet his eyes, but that meant your gaze would find Younghoon. That same smile was still on his face.

He made sure you couldn’t escape as he got on top of you, straddling you between his legs and blocking your view of Hyunjae. Now you could only feel what the other boy was doing, leaving the visuals to your imagination. Although Younghoon drew your attention to something else. Despite being fully clothed and atop you, he still had enough room to unzip his pants and pull his dick out. He already had a bit of a hard-on and didn’t feel shy about stroking himself in front of you. He maintained heavy eye contact as he twitched and moaned, trying to keep some control. You shut your eyes, but he didn’t seem to like that.

“No, no, none of that.”

You felt a light slap on your cheek, Younghoon encouraging you to open your eyes. As you did so you were met with his smiling face. Then you felt Hyunjae push your panties aside, running his cold fingers against your core. Another yelp escaped your lips.

“She’s wet and ready, hyung.”

“Prep her properly, no need to rush a good thing.”

You could hear Hyunjae whining but he didn’t do anything rash. Instead you felt a finger go into your core, a moan escaping you. Both boys chuckled, but continued with their actions.

“Can I cum on your pretty tits?” Younghoon asked between moans. “I’ll try not to aim for your lips.”

As you thought to give an answer you felt a second finger enter you, Younghoon taking your moan as approval. He started stroking himself faster, throwing his head back in ecstasy and bucking his hips forward. He didn’t last long after that, spilling his seed onto your chest, your breasts, and keeping to his word. You felt the warmth and stickiness on your skin, the sensation adding onto what you were already feeling. By now you were certainly getting overwhelmed.

“I can’t hold back anymore.”

Hyunjae removed his fingers then shoved Younghoon off of you. He climbed on to the bed, spreading your legs apart. He quickly undid his pants, stroking himself to get hard and then you felt him stretch you open. A loud moan escaped your lips and you arched your back, desperately grasping at the bedsheets.

“Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh fuck.”

“I’m that good, baby girl?”

You couldn’t really talk anymore, just feeling everything. It really had been a long time since you were last taken care of in such a manner. You slowly began to move with Hyunjae’s thrust, only focusing on your own pleasure. You didn’t even bother holding back your moans, just letting everything go and being in the moment. Perhaps it was also the alcohol keeping your mind off the reality of your situation. Hyunjae kept a steady rhythm, his own groans and moans dancing alongside yours. You could tell he was close, as were you, but before either of you could reach climax everything stopped.

Younghoon had pulled the other boy away from you, leaving you suddenly empty. You whimpered, more upset over the loss of friction and ignoring what the other two were yelling about. It wasn’t until you felt two dibs in the bed that you realized their attention had returned to you. Hyunjae pulled you up, meeting your lips with his own. You kissed back, desperate to return to where you were. Once he pulled away he was giggling, keeping an arm wrapped around your waist, the other guiding his cock back into you.

A satisfied moan escaped your lips, and you leaned against Hyunjae. You didn’t notice Younghoon coming up from behind at first, not until you felt his hand down between your legs. His fingers massaged your clit, getting you to that edge again but he stopped short. You whimpered, wanting them to stop teasing you. Although soon enough you realized this was prep for something more. You felt something else pressing against your back, and then dipping between your legs. You had little time to process before you felt Hyunjae moving again, soon followed by another joining the party.

You grabbed onto Hyunjae, throwing your head back and resting against Younghoon’s shoulder. They both moved together, overwhelming you with pleasure. You were seeing white, hands exploring your body and smearing around the fluids on your chest. You were completely at their mercy now, letting them do as they pleased with your body. You didn’t last long in their embrace, being pushed over the edge so viciously, given no moment to breathe. Your body shook with pleasure as they kept moving inside you, taking advantage of your current state and loving the way you squeezed them tightly.

You weren’t given a break. Both boys continuing in their own desire for orgasm and using your body to do so. You were partially conscious, but well aware of the warmth between your legs. At some point you were laying down again, sandwiched between your co-stars, snuggling against one of them. You felt a hand on your head, petting you gently, but you were too worn out to care. The morning would be a very different story though.

“I hope you’ll stay with us.” Hyunjae mumbled. “We’d take such good care of you.”

“Hm…”

“I guess that’s a yes.”

“Either way.” Younghoon added. “She’s ours now.”

[raplinesmoon]

hi everyone, i just wanted to come on here and make this post. like a lot of you, i’ve been deeply affected by what’s been going on in Gaza the past few weeks. It has quite literally altered my brain and the way i’ve been able to live my life day-to-day. even though i’m not Palestinian, i’ve grown up learning about the fight for Palestinian liberation. my real name (bless my parents), literally references the land of Palestine.

i know there’s a lot of grief in our hearts, watching genocide happen live on our screens in front of our very eyes. It’s heavy and it’s traumatic and the human body isn’t built to withstand this much grief and trauma without it fundamentally altering us. I’ve been struggling a lot with my grief recently, and how to make sense of it, and in doing so, i’ve tried to challenge myself that whenever i need a “break” from the news, or i just need to do something that makes me fundamentally human (like watching a movie, listening to music, making food), i’m going to try and engage with content from Palestinian creatives as a way to stay dialed in and to never stop speaking up. i thought i’d share some of what i’ve been engaging with in order to keep learning about Palestine and its people, and to make sure their voices are always heard.

disclaimer: this list is not meant to be comprehensive or exhaustive, as I still have a lot to look through, but feel free to reblog with your own additions!

Read:

A Woman Is No Man by Etaf Rum - In Brooklyn, eighteen-year-old Deya is starting to meet with suitors. Though she doesn’t want to get married, her grandparents give her no choice. History is repeating itself: Deya’s mother, Isra, also had no choice when she left Palestine as a teenager to marry Adam. Though Deya was raised to believe her parents died in a car accident, a secret note from a mysterious, yet familiar-looking woman makes Deya question everything she was told about her past. As the narrative alternates between the lives of Deya and Isra, she begins to understand the dark, complex secrets behind her community.

The author just released a new novel, Evil Eye, which is also on my to-read list.

Against The Loveless World by Susan Abulhawa - As Nahr sits, locked away in solitary confinement, she spends her days reflecting on the dramatic events that landed her in prison in a country she barely knows. Born in Kuwait in the 70s to Palestinian refugees, she dreamed of falling in love with the perfect man, raising children, and possibly opening her own beauty salon. Instead, the man she thinks she loves jilts her after a brief marriage, her family teeters on the brink of poverty, she’s forced to prostitute herself, and the US invasion of Iraq makes her a refugee, as her parents had been. After trekking through another temporary home in Jordan, she lands in Palestine, where she finally makes a home, falls in love, and her destiny unfolds under Israeli occupation.

Susan Abulhawa is also the author of Mornings in Jenin, a fantastic novel that describes the Nakba (Catastrophe) of 1948, in which 750,000 Palestinians were expelled from their homes by the Occupation Forces, and The Blue Between Sky and Water, a story about four generations of a Palestinian family in a refugee camp in Gaza.

Salt Houses by Hala Aylan - On the eve of her daughter Alia’s wedding, Salma reads the girl’s future in a cup of coffee dregs. She sees an unsettled life for Alia and her children; she also sees travel, and luck. While she chooses to keep her predictions to herself that day, they will all soon come to pass when the family is uprooted in the wake of the Six-Day War of 1967.  Salma is forced to leave her home in Nablus; Alia’s brother gets pulled into a politically militarized world he can’t escape; and Alia and her gentle-spirited husband move to Kuwait City, where they reluctantly build a life with their three children. When Saddam Hussein invades Kuwait in 1990, Alia and her family once again lose their home, their land, and their story as they know it, scattering to Beirut, Paris, Boston, and beyond. Soon Alia’s children begin families of their own, once again navigating the burdens (and blessings) of assimilation in foreign cities.

The Beauty of Your Face by Sahar Mustahfah - Afaf Rahman, the daughter of Palestinian immigrants, is the principal of a Muslim school in the Chicago suburbs. One morning, a shooter—radicalized by the online alt-right—attacks the school. As Afaf listens to his terrifying progress, we are swept back through her memories, and into a profound and “moving” (Bustle) exploration of one woman’s life in a nation at odds with its ideals.

Light In Gaza (anthology) - Light in Gaza is a seminal, moving and wide-ranging anthology of Palestinian writers and artists. It constitutes a collective effort to organize and center Palestinian voices in the ongoing struggle. As political discourse shifts toward futurism as a means of reimagining a better way of living, beyond the violence and limitations of colonialism, Light in Gaza is an urgent and powerful intervention into an important political moment.

E-Book is available for free on Haymarket Books’ website!

The Butterfly’s Burden by Mahmoud Darwish - The Butterfly's Burden combines the complete text of Darwish's two most recent full-length volumes, linked by the stunning memoir-witness poem “A State of Siege.” Love poems, sonnets, journal-like distillations, and interlaced lyrics balance old literary traditions with new forms, highlighting loving reflections alongside bitter longing.

Orientalism by Edward Saïd - In this wide-ranging, intellectually vigorous study, Said traces the origins of "orientalism" to the centuries-long period during which Europe dominated the Middle and Near East and, from its position of power, defined "the orient" simply as "other than" the occident. This entrenched view continues to dominate western ideas and, because it does not allow the East to represent itself, prevents true understanding.

THIS IS LITERALLY ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS I’VE EVER READ

Watch:

Farha (2021) - After persuading her father to continue her education in the city, a Palestinian girl's dream is shattered by the harrowing developments of the Nakba.

Born In Gaza (2014) - The documentary follows the story of about ten children who tell what their daily life is like after the horror of the war on Gaza in the summer of 2014.

Omar (2013) - Arrested after the death of an Israeli soldier, a Palestinian baker agrees to work as an informant, but his true motives and alliances remain hidden.

Mo (2022) - Mo Najjar straddles the line between two cultures, three languages and a ton of foolishness as a Palestinian refugee constantly living one step away from asylum on the path to U.S. citizenship.

Listen: 

Saint Levant - born Marwan Abdelhamid, is a Palestinian/French/Algerian/Serbian artist based in California. He was born in Jerusalem during the second Intifada due to complications in the city where he would eventually spend his childhood years – the Gaza Strip.

Check out: From Gaza, With Love

Nehmasis - Nemahsis is the stage name of Nemah Hasan, a Palestinian Canadian pop singer from Toronto, Ontario

Check out: i wanna be your right hand

Zeyne - Zeyne is a Jordanian/Palestinian singer, songwriter and musician. A voice passed down from her grandmother down to her mother and then to her, 'songbird' zeyne seeks to create music that shares her truths and perspectives in the hopes of connecting with others worldwide.

Check out: Balak

Belly -Ahmad Balshe, known professionally as Belly, is a Palestinian-Canadian rapper, singer, songwriter, and record producer. Born in Jenin, Balshe was raised in Ottawa.

Check out: Xion

Eat:

Mxriyum - Mariam is a Palestinian home cook behind the ever popular account TikTok and Instagram, Mxriyum. 

Heifa (fufuinthekitchen) - I’m a first-generation Palestinian American raised in NJ but now calls Chicago home. I am the founder, recipe developer, and food photographer behind Fufu’s Kitchen. And if you are wondering, Fufu is my nickname-it just stuck!

Hanan Saeed (palestinianfoodie)

Joudie Kalla - Joudie Kalla is a Palestinian-British chef and food writer. She is the author of two prizewinning cookbooks, Palestine on a Plate: Memories from My Mother’s Kitchen, and Baladi: A Celebration of Food from Land and Sea, and has featured in venues like The New York Times, The Guardian, and Al Jazeera

Shop:

Nominal - co-founded by Lena Sarsour, a Palestinian, Nominal creates Arabic-inspired jewelry. They are currently donating 100% of proceeds to Pious Projects, an on-the-ground aid organization working in Gaza, until October 31, 2023. 

PaliRoots - Founded in 2016, the PaliRoots mission is to bring awareness to the world about the Palestinian culture by crafting specialty products inspired by its people and identity. They work with Middle East Children’s Alliance (MECA), to donate a meal to children in Gaza for every order.

West Bank Apparel - West Bank Apparel was established in 2014, guided by a singular mission: to offer our customers products that resonate with a sense of purpose and contribution to a greater cause. They work with Islamic Relief USA to donate a portion of each sale to various charities providing meals and aid in Palestine.

[cafeinthemoon]

Ruins - Part XIX

Chapter 19

Wordcount 4,2k

Title Part XIX

Fandom Shuumatsu no Valkyrie / Record of Ragnarok

Previous chapters 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16 . 17 . 18

Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 💛

Warnings: none

Tagging @holdyourwine @lilacshouko @shirayuki-ayumi @telvess (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)

N. A.: Hello again :) I've been so anxious about how this chapter would be, if the descritions would be ok, if it would be too short, too long, boring, over detailed, but finally it's published! I'm so happy and relieved! I feel like I've been putting too much expectations on the Psique's Ritual and my biggest fear was to mess up with it, but I think it's good the way it ended up.

The party after the ceremony will have much more happening, so I knew this chapter wouldn't be enough to tell everything, so wait for the next part and, for now, have some minor, "solar" conflict ;)

The morning of the wedding came still and warm, the first one of the Spring that your life was about to become.

You left your bed with the thought of a sweet expectancy, and with the happy consciousness of having left the weights and fears behind.

It looks like any other day of Valhalla, and it could be. Except for me and my loved ones.

Days ago, you finally managed to talk to your parents about the separation that waited for you in the near future. It was a calm conversation, sad in some points, but surprisingly relieving in others, and those hours you’ve spoken with each other were something that you would never forget.

You’ve been carrying those fears for too long, but you were glad you took the chance to express them while your parents were still there. You confessed to them that you avoided talking about the dreams because you didn’t understand them, and you didn’t want to make them worried; you also supposed that they wouldn’t understand it as well. But to them, the real meaning of the dreams was as surprising as it was to you, and they weren’t less happy, as they soon made you know.

You told them you were scared with the idea of not having them forever by your side, and that you didn’t feel ready to be a Queen. And, about this, they were more prepared than you expected.

– No one feels ready for great roles in life, my dear – your mother explained – But admitting this to yourself is the first step to learn how to assume a responsibility.

– Besides, you won’t be alone in this – your father corroborated – Hades-sama is an experienced, wise god, as far as we could see. He will guide you in everything you need.

– And he seems willing to do that! – your mother said with a smile – Seeing my girls being loved and well treated is the dream of any mother, and you’re going to make it a reality!

– We’re proud of you, y/n-chan!

You felt your throat tightening with those words.

– But you’re not afraid of our separation? You’re not worried that our time together is almost over?

That time, their smiles faded a bit, but not their confidence.

– Even if you stayed human, our time together would come to an end – your father replied – Still, we wouldn’t think too much about this, right?

– We would just live and enjoy our days together, as any family in our world would do – your mother said – This isn’t different. We’re happy to be your parents, and we’re glad for the time you’ve stood with us.

You were no longer able to hold back your tears. You jumped into their arms, squeezing them tight.

– I love you so much…

– We love you too, dear.

– We will love you always.

You had that moment in mind for all the time you prepared yourself to the ceremony, content that you had no regrets.

***

Though you woke up early, the real preparations only started by afternoon, since the ceremony would take place by the evening. Still, you were surprised with the agitation at Valhalla during those few hours: many gods, goddesses and other people were invited, and Hermes and the elves were too busy receiving them. You had the chance to see and even talk to a few of them and, contrary to what you were expecting, they treated you with kindness, as if you were already one of them, though some had peculiar ways to show their surprise, so that you guessed that there were gods that never saw a human being from close before, and others haven’t seen one in centuries.

Hades, on his turn, has been in constant contact with his brothers and solving some practical matters concerning your imminent travel to the Underworld. According to him, Adamas, who was finishing some administrative tasks in Hellheim, was going to arrive at the afternoon, as well as Poseidon. Zeus, on the other hand, has been there for a few days now, and you’ve talked to him about the ambrosia and the procedures involving it.

You didn’t sleep in the same room as the other disciples: you were given a separated space to rest and take ceremonial baths, according to the Greek traditions taught to you by Hades. After being visited by two elvish women who brought you the garment and the accessories, you went to the room where your sisters were, and counted on them to do your hair and your makeup. You showed them the hairpin Hades gave to you and asked them to help you compose a hairstyle with it; the girls were fascinated by its beauty, and it was hard to keep Ellie’s little hands away from it.

After chatting and helping them with their own garments, you called an elf to take them ahead of you to the great hall.

You were there alone meditating when Hermes came to guide you to the great hall where the wedding was going to happen. There was a moment of silence, when you held your breath, but then you stood up and opened your best smile.

– I’m ready.

He offered his arm to you, and with one last look in the mirror to confirm everything was alright, you accepted the invitation to leave the room.

***

That corridor wasn’t different from the one where your room was, through which you’ve walked so many times, so you had a general idea of how long it was. Still, you had mixed sensations about crossing it: sometimes, it looked like you were almost reaching the great hall, and other times you thought you were too far from it.

In the meantime, Hermes and you had a brief conversation.

– I still find it hard to believe we’ve reached this stage, Hermes-sama – you were saying – There was fear, curiosity, warmth, desperation and, finally, happiness. It’s just too much when we remember it has only been a few months!

– You’re right – the god responded with a smile – And it was an interesting experience to observe all of this happening.

You felt your eyes getting filled with tears.

– And it was a privilege to have your company in all of these moments. You’ve been a great friend, Hermes-sama.

Hermes made you turn a corner and stopped, turning to you and kissing your forehead just like he did in the kitchen when you told him you were going to accept Hades’ proposal.

– And you’ve been, and will continue to be, a great little sister, y/n-chan.

The treatment, used by him for the first time, almost made you undo your makeup by crying, but with great effort you managed to control yourself. Hermes then guided you to the end of that new corridor, and pushed the doors that were in front of you by its end.

Soft lights invaded the corridor and touched your faces like the promise of a good dream, and you were presented to the great hall where your family, gods, Zeus-sama and the King of the Underworld were waiting for you.

***

In front of you, there was a long, narrow path covered with a light carpet and petals of yellow narcissus taken from the fields you once visited at the Gardens. You smiled to the vision.

– Can’t believe he remembered the day when we crossed the narcissus paths – you whispered to Hermes.

– Hades-sama has a privileged memory, y/n-chan – was his reply.

You looked around and saw many other details on the decoration that reminded you of the encounters you had: chords of flowers hanging from the ceiling, rounded recipients full of water that resembled the fountains at the Gardens and marble statues on the corners.

There were people on both sides of the path, and all of them stood up at your arrival: at the right, there were gods and goddesses from many pantheons, aside from the Greek gods you’ve already knew, and at the left, you saw the human girls with whom you’ve shared the lodge, demigods, nymphs and other spirits of nature, elves and minor deities. You felt so small when you noticed all those people who were there to celebrate the peculiar union, some of them clearly wanting to see a human for the first time, as well as to witness the rare Psique’s Ritual. For a moment, you considered asking Hermes if the goddess was present to see the ritual that carried her name, but you stood quiet. And, when you saw all those eyes turning to you, all you could think of was running away, and the only thing that stopped you from doing it was the approaching of someone you loved – your father, who came to replace Hermes by your side. He offered his arm and you accepted it, walking toward the altar.

Hades was there at the left side, waiting for you with his hands behind his back, while his brother was in the middle of it, in front of a golden table. The man you loved was as beautiful as you’ve always seen him, but something in the lights made you think his godly nature has never been so evident, and the majesty in his figure set him apart even from his fellow gods. His eyes – that is, his left eye and the right one covered with the eye patch – were glued on you, and as you approached the altar, you noticed the glow of tears over his visible eye: his happiness was there for anyone to see, and that only deepened your love and admiration for him.

You father stopped with you in front of the altar, and Hades walked down the three stairs that separated you to meet you two. Your father released your arm and kissed your head, murmuring encouraging words to you; he turned to the groom and, with a nod, he walked to your mother’s side, in the first row of the left wing, where she was holding Ellie while Luna and Helena were with her.

When your father left, Hades and you exchanged whispered, sweet words and giggling.

– You’re scary today, my Lord – you joked about the eye patch.

– Today I need to be scary, my girl – he replied – There’s too much people watching.

He took your hand and led you to the first stair, where Zeus was waiting for you. He opened a brief smile, then turned to the table and took something from it; when he turned again, you saw a silver goblet in his hands, filled with a liquid that reminded you of wine – ambrosia, about which you’ve talked in your conversations concerning the ceremony. You already knew you would have to drink it before the wedding itself, but never thought too much about this moment until it finally came, so when the Lord of Heaven offered the goblet to you, your hands hesitated for a second, but then you grabbed the object and held it tight in front of you.

Zeus changed his posture, raising his hands and speaking with a firm, louder voice, different from the one you’ve got used to hear from his mouth.

– Before the eyes of all the immortal and mortal ones who are here, I, Zeus, Lord of Heavens and Head of the Greek House, declare the beginning of the Ritual of Psique. And I call you, human Y/n of the Ys/n Family, from Midgard, to take your part on it by drinking the blessed liquid – and, looking into your eyes, – Take it, now, and change to join divinity.

A heavy silence spread all over the great hall as the echo of the god’s words reached its deepest parts and died, and you felt everyone’s eyes burning your back. With a deep breath, you glanced inside the goblet and closed your eyes as you approached its brim from your lips, emptying the cup in a few seconds.

You would never be able to remember the exact taste of the ambrosia: you only remembered the sensation of a cold liquid filling your mouth, and a warmth appearing as it was poured down your throat, but instead of the familiar feeling of a liquid reaching your stomach, the ambrosia simply disappeared inside your body, and no remaining taste was noticed in your mouth; it was like you never consumed anything.

However, it didn’t take long for the effects to start showing.

While a heat wave spread all over your limbs, a tingling sensation started on your fingertips, under your nails, and all over your scalp, increasing slowly as if something was bubbling, or growing out of these parts; the sensation, however, reverberated in your entire body. You raised your hands and looked at your nails, gasping when you saw them changing their color from the natural one, under the transparent polish nail you chose, to a purplish shade, soft and pleasing to the eye; besides, they were now longer, but still followed the almond shape you used to wear.

You looked at Hades and found him staring at you, ecstatic; at the moment when you were going to touch your hair, feeling something strange after the tingling started, he approached his hand and took off the hairpin from it, and that time you were the surprised one: untying and spreading by themselves, a mass of curls and waves fell on your back and reached your ankles’ height; you held some strands and laughed when you saw that their color was also changed, but to a darker version of the nails’ purple.

Hades approached for the second time and, passing his hands around your head, he grabbed a few strands and tied them with the hairpin. He took the chance to reveal a third change, this one invisible to you until you had the chance to look into a mirror.

– Your eyes are now lilac, little one.

You opened your mouth in surprise, and Zeus intervened:

– Since you are on the growing spectrum, more changes are expected in the next days – he explained, in a lower, assuring tone – But the first seeds of your new nature are alive and awake. Welcome to the world of the gods, Y/n.

Your emotions were roaring inside you, but you kept composed and nodded in respect.

– Thank you, Zeus-sama.

You raised the goblet and Zeus took it, returning it to its place on the table. He then showed the crowd a second object: a small, silver plate where you saw two pieces of what looked like sesame cakes.

Now, the way for the wedding was free, as the god’s next words indicated.

– For now we have both god and goddess before us, there are no impediments for the marital contract to be sealed – he put the plate between you – You both, take them.

Hades and you took the cakes at the same time. That was the moment of the ceremony you were the most anxious to take part in: the exchange of the ceremonial food. It as a simple part, but you were afraid you would start laughing of nervousness, but fortunately none of this happened. Obeying Zeus’ orientations, Hades gave you his cake and you gave yours to him.

Zeus put the plate back on the table and, for the third time, took something from it: a large stray with a golden ring and a delicate earring of the same color. Hades took the earring and, moving your hair away with a gentle gesture, he put the jewel on your left ear; you took the ring from the stray and put it on his left hand, on his ring finger.

Zeus held your hands together for a moment, then made the announcement.

– By the powers of Heaven, I declare you husband and wife.

Those words, the concretization of something you’ve been dreaming of for months, brought hot tears to your eyes. Hades – now, your husband – pulled you closer and kissed you twice, the first time on your forehead, the second on your lips.

You both turned to the crowd, and watched with silent happiness as they received with smiles and claps the new couple and the new goddess.

***

The festivity that happened right after the ceremony, in the same rooms where the ball in which you’ve solved Hades’ enigma took place, was organized to receive the new family of the Greek pantheon and it was a good counterpoint for the solemnity of both the wedding and the ritual. Despite continuing to be the focus of the attentions beside your husband, you were more at will now, for your family was close, you already talked to the friends you’ve made on the lodge and had the opportunity to meet many gods and goddesses you’ve only knew by name.

And, about each of them, you formed curious opinions.

One of the first gods you met was from your own, new pantheon, and even when you’ve never saw him before, you’ve kind of guessed his identity once he appeared in front of you: a young man with pretty, delicate traits, dressed in extravagant, golden garment and with a long, pink hair falling on his back approached you two with the confidence of a king, bringing with him the heat you’d expect to feel outside your home in a Summer day.

As soon as he put his scrutinizing eyes on you, a feeling of being exposed to an intense light took over you, and you had to fight the impulse of hiding behind Hades.

I’m a goddess now. I can’t just shame myself this way.

The first words exchanged between you were said by the newcomer.

– If only I could tell you, big bro, how much I had to restrain myself from approaching the altar and examining her from close – the man stretched his hand and held your jawline, turning your face from one side to the other, as to not miss the smallest detail of your appearance – She’s such a beauty! – and, blinking an eye to your husband, – You’ve always had an eye for treasures, dear uncle.

You glanced at Hades and, to your surprise, his response to the god’s attitude was to smile.

– Your enthusiasm is laudable, but I’m afraid you’re scaring my wife, Apollo.

The other man, only then realizing the possibility of being intrusive, let go of your jawline and made a proper presentation.

– Forgive me for this indiscretion, little flower – he nodded – I am Apollo, God of the Sun. It is a pleasure to receive you in our family. From now on, consider me your elder brother.

You followed the etiquette and nodded to greet him.

– Thank you for celebrating with us and considering me part of your family, Apollo-sama.

– Ah, you don’t need to thank me, dear – Apollo caressed your chin – I’m too attached to my family, so of course I’d come. Besides, don’t you know that the ritual to transform a mortal being in a deity hasn’t been seen in ages? I couldn’t miss this opportunity. And, obviously, I was curious to know the woman who won my uncle’s cold heart, that is, what kind of beauty she carried in her.

You laughed at those words: despite his extravagance, Apollo was a good guy, with a pleasing sense of humor.

The conversation would have continued in this rhythm if it wasn’t for the arrival of another person, as interesting as him: a woman of Asian traits, with a young, majestic face covered in white makeup and red lips, contrasting with her black hair, tied up with luxurious hairpins; something in her way resembled Apollo, but in a quieter manner. The god of the Sun fell silent once he noticed her presence, and you sensed that he wasn’t exactly content with it.

The goddess’ voice sounded just like her figure suggested it would sound: soft, but firm, articulated, but sensitive.

– Hades-sama, Apollo-sama – she nodded to each of them as she spoke – It’s been a long time since our last reunion – and, turning to you, – But I’m content that the reason that reunited us today is a happy one.

Hades made the presentations.

– Y/n, this is Amaterasu, from the Japanese pantheon. She’s the Goddess of the Sun.

You greeted her with the same respect you treated her Greek counterpart. Amaterasu looked into your eyes for a moment, as if reading a secret in them, then spoke in a prophetic tone:

– There is a light inside you that has been there since you were born, young goddess – and, opening a hopeful smile, – The consumption of the ambrosia amplified and strengthened it, for your own good and for the ones you love.

You had no idea of what she was talking about, but you wouldn’t interrupt her. However, there was someone who wasn’t so composed in this sense.

– It is a pleasure for me to meet you again after so many centuries, Amaterasu – it was Apollo’s voice; he was really displeased for having his chatting with you interrupted by a member of a foreigner pantheon – But if you don’t mind, Y/n must receive blessings from her own pantheon first.

The Japanese goddess stared at him and, without arguing, smiled and raised her hands in a gesture of rendition.

– I just thought you already gave her your blessing, Apollo-sama. But if you didn’t, go ahead. I’m not stopping you.

Apollo, still with his hurt ego, didn’t mind replying to her, turning to you instead.

– Young Y/n, you’ve already proved your beauty by your hard work concerning the solution of your husband’s enigma, in which you showed your aspiration for a greater fate than your former nature could concede you.

You didn’t see yourself as this ambitious person, but you let him continue. And, as he spoke, you began to see his surroundings changing as a golden light involved his figure.

Is this an ability I gained as a goddess? I felt like I’m witnessing a glimpse of his true form.

– This is my gift to you, my dear – he took your hands and held them tight between you – May you continue what you started here in your new life as a Queen, and your soul grow in wisdom, kindness and strength of will, for all of this is beauty.

You gave his hands a soft squeeze in response.

– May everything happens exactly as you say, Apollo-sama – you whispered – Thank you for your blessing.

– Once again, no need to thank me, my flower, for prophecy isn’t but my job – untangling his hands from yours, he brushed your hair behind your ear; and, glancing at Hades, – Now, if you two excuse me, there are a group of anxious nymphs longing for company somewhere in this hall.

Without any other word or need for verbal responses from you or the other presents, Apollo turned his back on the group and walked away, as dramatic as a Summer sunset.

When he was out of sight, you heard a sweet giggle. You looked around and saw Amaterasu staring at the path taken by the other sun god.

– He never changes – she turned to you – But he’s a good man, despite what you just saw. Now, allow me to give you my blessing, Y/n – she repeated Apollo’s gesture, taking your hands in hers – The light you already bear in you, which has been brought to sight by the blessed drink, must never fade, and never fail you. The paths that wait for you, young goddess, are sinuous and dark, but may the lamps of consciousness be fed by this light, and fear never lead you stray.

Something similar to what happened during Apollo’s blessing happened now: you saw Amaterasu’s figure surround itself with a light that reminded you the first rays of a calm day, and as much as you felt encouraged and inspired by Apollo’s words, you felt comforted and determined with Amaterasu’s, and you thanked her with the same enthusiasm you showed to the Greek solar deity.

– I pray that everything happens as you determine, Amaterasu-sama. Thank you for your blessing.

The goddess inclined her head toward you, then did the same to Hades before leaving, with the same serenity in which she came.

You were still thinking of her words when you felt your hand being held by your husband. You turned to him to find a smile on his lips.

– Being blessed by solar deities is a great privilege for any person, god or mortal – he commented; and, with a playful tone, – But having two of them competing for attention is something you must never forget.

You laughed.

– I can see that. But it’s funny that, though I understand they must have reasons to not be so fond of each other, I don’t think they should feed conflicts between them so often.

Hades raised an eyebrow.

– How so?

– They might be the representations for the same concept in different pantheons, but each of them bring something unique to it – you explained – Apollo-sama, is like the imposing, powerful midday sun; Amaterasu-sama, on the other hand, is solemn, but welcoming as the morning sun. And I like both.

The King of Hellheim stared at you with kindness, as recognizing in your attitude one more reason to love you.

– Sustaining this view on such subjects is easier in theory, but I suppose it’s not going to be a problem for you to bring it to the practical field as a former human – he pondered.

– Do you think so?

He caressed your hair in response.

– I do. And I think we will have much fun learning with each other in this sense.

Part XX