#the job exhausts me so much. or maybe it's my biology that's doing it.

[sciderman]

i opened tumblr during lunch and the first thing i saw was peter parker britney spears. two of my friends stared at my phone and audibly went “oh” thank you for the blessing

i've had so many people tell me "sci. the only thing i know about you is spider-man and britney spears". and i think that's all there is. you're welcome.

[spicyspiders]

I saw your Eldritch König fic and it was soso good! Literally made my monsterfucker phase come backಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

Btw could i request for something similar to that? Like Ghost x male reader but male reader is a werewolf? So like reader and Ghost are already together and Ghost knows reader is a werewolf, and maybe reader went in heat and Ghost is just coming back after a mission and when he came back he saw his partner in bed humping pillow and you put anything that happens next (i kinda prefer reader being bottom if you dont mind!^^) can you maybe add some breeding ment and belly bulge cus i like some good all size kink(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠) Thats all bye!!<33 (if this seems to much or you dont like it feel free to delete this!)

Didn't put any belly bulging, but there is a line about Ghost breeding the reader. There's also mention of self lubrication, so warning about that.

“Please stop looking at me like that.”

It was an awkward conversation when you first joined the force and they looked over your medical history. Well, Price had made it awkward. To you, it was simply your biology. 

Like the day you had that conversation, Price stood there red-faced. He still avoided your eye like that day when he spoke, “I’m just worried about you,” he said from where he sat on the corner of your bed. 

It made you itch in a way you usually did not react. An indicator that lets you know your heat will start soon. “How many times have I told you-”

“You’ll be fine. I know,” He held up his hands in surrender. “It’s my job to worry,” he finishes quietly. 

Your expression softens and you walk over to where he is and sit down beside him, “thank you for your concern, captain,” you let out a soft chuckle, “but this is not my first heat.”

Price looks over to you, a soft smile on his face, “I know,” he answers. 

You place a hand on his shoulder and squeeze, trying to offer him a bit of comfort before what you’re about to say. “You should leave,” you take your hand away and it falls to your lap. 

The words make his face go a shade darker. He leaves quickly and locks the door when he’s on the other side. There were only a few doors on base that were able to be locked, this room being one of the few. It also had an attached bathroom, one that you went in when Price was gone. 

It probably wasn’t smart to take a hot shower with how your body temperature was about to rise due to the heat, but you knew it would make you feel better. Your body had already begun to ache and the hot water soothed your pain. 

You barely managed to towel off, and the clothes you pulled on soaked whatever moisture you had missed. Your body felt hot and heavy as you went through your routine of getting ready for bed, and by the time you left the steamy bathroom, the few steps from the light switch of the bedroom and then to your bed felt like a mile. 

You fell into a deep sleep once you were under your covers. 

When you woke up, you didn’t know how much time had passed, but you knew that your heat was here. 

Still alone, all you could do to get yourself some relief was to roll over onto your stomach. Your cock was already hard when you rolled your hips down into the bed, its friction being enough to pull a whimper from your throat. 

When you raised your hips back up, you could feel that there was a wet spot already in the front of the shorts you pulled on in the bathroom. Knowing that, you knew that your hole must be wet. 

Where was Ghost?

Your body made it easy for him. All he needed to do was unlock the door, pull your covers and pants away, and slide right inside. You wanted to reach back and drag your fingers along your hole, maybe press a few inside, but your limbs felt like they were stuck to the bed. 

Luckily, it only took a few thrusts of your hips into the bed for you to come. You felt exhaustion creep back in as you came down, and in a matter of a few short minutes, you were back asleep. 

Your body still felt heavy when you awoke the second time, but this time it was because of an added weight on top of you. You tried to struggle, but it was to no avail. 

Ghost hushed you softly before throwing your covers off, “I know what you need,” he whispered into your ear. You aided him in his task to pull your clothes off, raising your hips when needed. Your shirt posed a minor struggle, and you were surprised the man didn’t use one of his knives to cut it off. 

Ghost was back after a few seconds. You didn’t look to see what he was doing, but from the sound of it, he had pulled his clothes off and thrown them where yours were. 

You felt the bed dip and then two of his fingers were at your hole. Ghost’s fingers rubbed along the crack of your ass, gathering the slick that was already there. 

“I don’t need-” you tried to protest, but the other man cut you off. 

“You do now hush,” he responded back, leaving no room for argument. 

You still did, but you grumbled the words into your pillow so he wouldn’t hear. Your mind felt foggy, like you weren’t in control of your words. Your ears caught something along the lines of your mouth saying “you’re not that big.”

He definitely was. Ghost’s thick fingers were the perfect tool to prepare you for what was to come. They made quick work of pressing inside. He pushed them in, down to the final knuckle before angling them into your prostate. 

You didn’t know how many times they brushed against the bundle of nerves, but it was beginning to feel cruel when you felt a wave of heat rush over your body.

“Simon,” you hissed out, “now,” you said angrily. 

“Brat,” Simon said affectionately and placed a soft kiss on the back of your neck. When he pulled his fingers free, they were quickly replaced by the thick head of his cock. 

You let out a breathy moan as you felt your body let out a gush of slick, wetting the head of Simon’s cock as it trickled down your hole. 

Simon pressed inside slowly, chasing after the slick that was leaking out from your hole. It wasn’t as if you had claimed Simon or anything, but you always noticed how your body accommodated him. This wasn’t the first heat you had spent together, as shown by the key that was dangling from his neck onto the skin of your back. 

You just trusted Simon and he trusted you. Heat or no heat, it also helped that he was a good lay. 

You raised your hips up, meeting Simon’s to get his cock inside you faster. Once he bottomed out, your hips soon came back into contact with the bed as he rested all of his weight on top of yours. 

Normally, having him smother you would make you protest, but now, it only pulled an orgasm from you. You were vulnerable during your heat, so having his weight be in and on top of you, brought you an immense level of comfort and pleasure. 

“Fuck, did you just?” Simon groaned into your ear. 

“Fucking move Simon,” you bit out, as waves of pleasure washed over you. 

It didn’t really make much sense how once he began moving and his cock pulled yet another orgasm out of you in a few thrusts, a sudden burst of energy shot through you. 

You pulled your head up from the pillow, “off. Get off me,” you squirmed under his heavy weight, trying to buck him off. 

“You just told me to-” Ghost pulled his cock from your hole, and once he was out, you flipped over onto your back so you could roll him over. “This what you wanted?” He asked, his hands settling onto your hips, “you could’ve just told me,” he said, a smirk on his face. 

With one hand, you balanced yourself on his chest. Your other hand wrapped around his throat. The clench of your hole was tighter that your fingers around his throat as you sank down onto Simon’s cock. 

“You’re mine,” you said as you bounced up and down on his cock. You watched in satisfaction as he threw his head back into the pillow you were just on. You could feel the bob of his adam’s apple under your fingers as he swallowed. 

“Say it,” you commanded. You paused in your movement, clenching tightly around his cock. You moved your hand from his neck down to where your other one rested on his chest. You tweaked his right nipple in your fingers, twisting until it hardened into a dark nub. 

You left the other alone, instead, you placed one hand on his heart and moved your other hand down until it was wrapped around your cock. “I’m not going to move until you say it,” you said to Simon, stroking your cock slowly. 

“I’m yours,” Simon moaned out. 

Satisfied, you felt a slow smile stretch out your lips. “I’ll claim you when we’re home,” you said in a low voice. You took your hand from your cock and placed it back on his throat, tracing along the sweaty skin where you would place your claiming bite. 

Simon brought himself up until your chests were pressed together. When he swooped down to press his lips to yours, you realized that this was your first kiss of the night. You responded back eagerly. 

“I’ll breed you full when we’re home,” Simon whispered. He placed one hand on your stomach, spreading his fingers out so he could span the length of your belly. 

You let out a breathy laugh, “sounds like we’ll be busy,” you wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. 

Simon nipped at your bottom lip before pulling away, “let’s just worry about right now,” he said. When his words were out, he started up a brutal rhythm. He thrust up into your body, his cock nailing your prostate. 

You panted into each other’s mouths, letting out occasionally grunts and moans. You clawed your nails down his back as his cock went in and out and in and out. You could feel warmth burn through your body as you chased after yet another orgasm. 

When it hit, your head fell back with a loud moan. Simon followed soon after, fucking up into your wet hole one last time before coming deep inside you. 

Simon fell back onto the bed and you followed him down, laying your sweaty body on top of his sweaty chest. He pressed a soft kiss to your temple, “is it all done?” He asked. 

“For tonight at least,” you responded tiredly. You could feel him press another kiss to your skin before you could feel his smile pressing into your skin, “stop smiling,” you snapped. 

Simon didn’t respond, only moved one of his hands that wasn’t running up and down your back to your ass to squeeze at one of the globes.

[gloomysoup]

listen, love my job. working with littles is both amazing and exhausting but i wouldn't have it any other way. there's something very satisfying about the connections i've been able to make with them and the progress i've seen in the short time i've been at this childcare center. however, sometimes i think the lead teacher in my room should not be a teacher.

she's a nice person and all, good with the kids, but she doesn't seem... like she's fit for the job, is all. she's never in the classroom and often fails to communicate lesson plans or ideas, and hardly ever takes suggestions. this week we're doing butterflies with our littles and the other day, she straight up asked me if a caterpillar comes before a chrysalis. she was 100% serious. she had no clue. after i told her that yes, caterpillars come before the chrysalis, bc that's how life cycles work, i made a little joke about that being elementary school biology that she should know, being the lead teacher and all. she said she thought science was stupid. granted, it could have been a joke in response to my joke, and the other teacher's jokes that followed, but part of me doesn't think it was.

and then there's the cocomelon shit. let it be known that as a daycare teacher, and someone who has taken courses in early childhood development and psychology, i absolutely resent cocomelon. it is horrible for a child's developing brain. it's overstimulating in several aspects, and it doesn't actually teach anything. it is, subjectively speaking, one of the worst kids shows i've ever come across in terms of how it helps with development. i've read psychological studies and articles about the negative affects cocomelon can have.

and yet, this woman lets her own child watch it. she puts on cocomelon songs for the kids i work with all the time. she has praised cocomelon and talks often about how much her toddler loves it. i refuse to let anything cocomelon play while i'm in the classroom bc i cannot stand it. i've also stood my ground on this, explained my point of view to the other teachers. it has not been played while i'm present since, but i have walked into the room to certain songs playing before.

obviously, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and not every teacher is going to have the same views on early childhood education, but the things just keep piling up with her. and it's really starting to annoy me. she tries to act like she knows so much and does all these lesson plans, but not once has she clued me in on anything. not once has she asked my opinion or acknowledged my suggestions. maybe i'm just looking too far into things that aren't there, but i just don't believe she makes a very good lead teacher. all we seem to do is sit and watch the kids play while kidz bop or cocomelon plays on the ipad. and while that's great sometimes, it doesn't feel like a lot of learning is happening. and if i try to bring this up and offer suggestions, i simply get shut down. at this point, i'm not sure what i can do. i would take it to the director, but this teacher is the director's daughter in law and is often shown favoritism. she spends more time talking in the office than she does her own classroom. i also apparently dont have the qualifications to be considered a teacher, even though i have more than enough college credits, so there's nothing i can do on that end unless i wanna put myself back through school. which is not really in the cards for me right now either.

so basically, i'm stuck. and this sucks. and i've seriously thought about asking if i can be moved to the pre k room instead, but there's very specific reasons that i was placed as a closer in the classroom im in and i don't want those things to go back to how they were before.

[fumaspokemonball]

Fuma helps you feel better about college!!

Trigger warning: There is actually quite a bit of cursing (I’m sorry) and a bit of angst? Anger is definitely a big part of the story. If there’s anything else let me know please!!

Summary: You begin to feel overwhelmed by the amount of college work you have on top of your full time job that you’re not feeling appreciated by. You’re embarrassed to ask for help and end up bottling up all your feelings. Fuma has to rush home to help you.

Fuma and female reader!

Author note: I apologize if this story is not good. It’s my first one I’ve written in a hot minute. Please feel free to help me find ways to improve! I hope you enjoy🩵🩵

I got home from a long day of work and still had so much to do. I had to clean the house, I had to finish school that was due later that evening, I had to shower still, and make myself food? To be honest, I just want to get into my pajamas and fall asleep. Work was exhausting, not even the animals made me happy anymore.

My boss is a real dill hole. No matter how hard I try I can’t seem to do anything right. I come in on my days off, I work overtime, I help other coworkers with task that I didn’t even know existed! I do everything and my manager still puts “standard employee” on my evaluation. I go above and beyond my pay grade and this is the thanks I get?! I want to quit. If it wasn’t for the amazing sea life I would have by now….but who else gets to work with these beautiful creatures? It was so hard to get this job…

I took my shoes off and carried myself to my room. I started right away on my school. Why the fuck I wanted to get my Ph.D in marine biology beats the shit outta me. Apparently it will look good? Idfk, all I know is I want out. 16 page essay due in 3 days!! Fuck you. I have a full time job! 16 pages in 3 days is so fucking much?! Not only that but a fucking math class on top?! I suck at math. Always have.

*If X is equal to 3,050 than what is y?*

Fuck if I know! This is so frustrating. I threw my laptop and screamed my lungs out. This shit is ridiculous. Im dropping out. I’m done. I don’t need a Ph.D! Nothing is worth this amount of stress.

*Knock* *Knock*

I looked up at my door to it opening up slowly. A worried face peers around the corner.

“Y/N Are you okay?” Ej walked in asking. I teared up. So many emotions were flying through my mind all at once. In simple terms I wasn’t okay. I was so stressed and I let it all bottle up. I don’t want to talk about it. I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to throw up, everything. I want it to end. All my life.

“Respectfully, Ej please go.” I sounded harsh. I didn’t mean it. I wanted nothing more than to tell him. Am I being dramatic? Am I being annoying? Idk. But I just need to relax.

Ej shut the door and I heard him walk down the hall. I hope I didn’t hurt his feelings. I grabbed my pajamas and went to take a shower. Maybe the hot water will calm me down.

~Ejs POV~

I’ve never seen Y/N so upset. I was startled when I heard screaming so I wanted to make sure everything was alright. I think I saw tears fall from her face. I wanted nothing more than to give my bestie a hug and comfort her until Fuma came home. She’s never pushed me away before. She always jokes with us and helps us when we’re stressed so it’s weird to see the rolls reversed.

“Fuma.” I whispered over the phone. I didn’t want Y/N to hear me call him. The last thing I needed was her to get mad at me for calling the one person who could calm her down.

“Is everything alright?” Fuma sounded worried.

“Well..”

~Fuma’s POV~

I was practicing for our comeback when I heard my phone ring. I ran over to see Ej calling me. He doesn’t call when he knows I’m practicing so I got worried.

“Fuma.” I heard him whisper from the other side of the phone. Why is he whispering?

“Ej? Is everything alright? Why are you whispering?” I was already breathing heavy but I could feel my heart face faster.

“No. Y/N was screaming in your guises dorm room and when I went to check on her she was crying and-“ I hung up before he could finish and ran home. What was wrong? Was everything okay? Why is she screaming? Why is she crying?! I need her and I need her now.

~Y/Ns POV~

I got out of the shower and went back to my room. I locked my door so I had no interruptions. I laid down on the bed and felt my eyes become heavy. I couldn’t sleep yet. I had to do school. I opened my laptop and started doing school. I started getting frustrated again. Why was it so hard?! No one gives a shit about the fucking relationship between X and Y!!

I groaned so loud and sunk into my pillow. I threw my laptop again and huffed.

“This is fucking ridiculous!!” I laid down and just stared at the ceiling. I felt my eyes become heavy when I heard the door handle turn. I groaned. “It’s locked.” I turned to my side.

“Y/N open!” Fuma said worriedly. I ignored him. Alone time. That’s what I need.

“No.” I choked. He started turning the knob really fast and knocking again and again. I put the pillow over my ears and started balling my eyes out. I’m sorry Fuma. I’m sorry.

Eventually all the loud knocking stopped. I felt a pair of hands grab mine and I looked up.

~Fuma’s POV~

I tried opening our bedroom door but it was locked. I knocked loudly and called out for her. Why did she lock the door?!

“No.” I heard a small voice call out. No? What do you mean no?! I started to panic and knock louder still calling her name. Nothing. That’s it.

After what felt like an eternity of trying, which was only like 5 minutes, I went to grab the spare key to unlock the door. She must not have cared enough to bring it with her. I unlocked the door and saw her small frame laying on the bed she had placed a pillow over her ears to muffle my yells. I could hear small sobs coming from her mouth. I looked over to see her laptop open to her homework.

I sighed in relief. Nothing was physically wrong with her but now it’s my turn to be the boyfriend I know I can be and help her. I know how exhausting this is all been on her mentally. I walked over and grabbed her hands.

~Y/N’s POV~

“Fuma? But-“ That was all I managed to get out before he shook his head at me. I was confused how he got in.

“It’s okay, I used the spare key. Love, if you needed help why didn’t you say anything? You know I’m here for you and when I’m not we’re all here for you.” Fuma began to rub my side and looked deep into my soul. I could see he was hurt but more worried about me. I couldn’t make eye contact much longer.

“It’s embarrassing Fuma!! I shouldn’t be this bad at math! I’m a fucking biologist for Christ sake!!” I didn’t mean to yell but all that stress was coming back up. This is why I didn’t want to speak to anyone! This is why I wanted to just keep the door shut and left alone! I ripped my hands out of his and cried into them. Fuma frowned and picked me up. He sat me in his lap and held me tight. The top of my head fit into the crook of his neck and I could hear his heart beat.

“It’s okay if you’re not good at math. Everyone can’t be good at everything. So you’re a biologist? You work with animals. You don’t spend every waking moment of every day solving algebra equations.” He played with the fabric of my shirt as he held onto me. I sniffled and looked up at him.

“You’re not embarrassed by me?” I pouted. My puffy red eyes looked into his for approval.

“What?! Of course not!! You’re one of the smartest people I know! You get paid to literally take care of animals all day! I love bragging to people about that! Also not just any animal but freaking water animals?! That’s even cooler!! They’re like you’re own personal Pokémon! I’m so proud of you! I’d be happy to show you off to anyone! Hell, I’ll show you off to the whole dorm right now.” I laughed and shook my head.

“Noo!!” I joked. I hugged him tightly. “Thank you Fuma. I love you.” I kissed his cheek and just felt so safe. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and squeeze me tightly.

“Pinky Promise me you’ll come to me next time before you explode? I want to help you.” Fuma grabbed my cheeks and made me look at him. He held out a pinky. I wrapped my tiny pinky around his and nodded.

“I pinky promise I will come to you next time.” I gave him a soft smile and he smiled in return.

“Good! Now, let’s go find out why, Y is trying to go back to their X.” He jumped up to grab my laptop. I rolled my eyes and laughed. Oh his dumb jokes.

[taylor-heise]

15 People 15 Questions

thank you @giveemgreef and @girlfriendline for the tag!!! 💖

1. are you named after anyone?

no but the line “Remember, like, a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason, and the girls were all named Brittany?” from the seminal classic animated movie Hercules is about me

2. when was the last time you cried?

i cry…… very easily to music when i’m feeling it so a few days ago with that. real crying? sometime in the last week over something very stupid (favorite tv show being stupid)

3. do you have kids?

no and the older i get the less i want any (i did help a lot my sister so i kinda already did it a bit ya know)

4. what sports do you play/have you played?

i played rec soccer from 8-15, tried gymnastics, ice skating, and volleyball as a kid too but dropped them after the first season bc I thought they were boring/was the oldest kid in the class and didn’t like that. also did a summer session of softball with people from work a decade ago (also didn’t like that)

5. do you use sarcasm?

i never use sarcasm i would never do that!!!! (said incredibly sarcastically!!! because no one can stop me!!!!)

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

idk height maybe?

7. what’s your eye color?

hazel

8. scary movies or happy endings?

i am a baby and refuse to watch anything remotely thrillery, let alone scary, so very happy endings

9. any talents?

uhhhhhh i can clap with each hand individually which is dumb but always hilarious to watch other people try to do

10. where were you born?

here in (not currently) minnesnowta

11. what are your hobbies?

photography, baking (when not exhausted from bakery job lmao), spending too much time on the internet, watching my hockey team emotionally devastate me, I do enjoy going for walks and I need to do that more for my brain, oh also can't forget them bracelets <3

12. do you have any pets?

not currently but i will share a random photo of my dog who i miss with my whole heart <3

13. how tall are you?

5’4ish

14. favorite subject in school?

math (not stats tho fuck stats) and biology!

15. dream job.

i do not dream of labor <3 my dream for my current job is to lose the customer service aspect of it so i can just make beautiful baked goods and pastries and then go home <3

i’ll tag anyone who hasn’t been tagged yet who hasn’t yet and also @amandaleveille @wildaboutmnhockey @emmowned @ninoniederreiter @letkirillfight

[alltheprettyplaces]

thank you for tagging me @welcometololaland 💖 i too love oversharing on the internet

ONE: Are you named after anyone?

no, i was just born in the 90's and to quote Hercules, 1997 "Remember, like, a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason, and the girls were all named Brittany?"

TWO: When was the last time you cried?

saturday night at a taylor swift concert (multiple times)

THREE: Do you have kids?

no, but i did help raise my sister so that kinda counts right?

FOUR: Do you use sarcasm a lot?

no and i'm definitely not known for it at all :)

FIVE: What sports have you played/do you play?

i tried volleyball, gymnastics, and figure skating all very briefly as a kid, but none of those stuck. i did play parks & rec soccer from ages 9-15 tho! and i have always and will continue to love swimming. take me to a lake and i will want to spend the entire time in the water <3

SIX: What's the first thing you notice about people?

how tall they are maybe?

SEVEN: What's your eye colour?

hazel

EIGHT: Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings, scary movies are an absolute no from me dawg

NINE: Any special talents?

idk i can clap with each individual hand which most people can't seem to do. it's always very funny to watch them try tho

TEN: Where were you born?

in a hospital which, fun fact, my sister was also born in by the same doctor more than a decade later

ELEVEN: What are your hobbies?

photography, baking (when not exhausted from bakery job lmao), spending too much time on the internet, watching my hockey team emotionally devastate me, I do enjoy going for walks and I should really do that more too

TWELVE: Do you have any pets?

no :( my dog passed almost 2 years ago and we haven't gotten another pet. i reallyyyyy want a cat tho

THIRTEEN: How tall are you?

5'4"

FOURTEEN: Favourite subject in school?

i was a math nerd all throughout school, also biology (and the architecture and intro to graphic designs classes i took in college before dropping out)

FIFTEEN: Dream job

idk man i think i'm just here to vibe and have to figure out how to make it along the way (i do enjoy the various bakery jobs i've had for the last almost 8 years tho)

tagging: @coelura @emmowned @heartstringsduet @iboatedhere @catboydan and anyone else who wants to overshare <3

[folklvpin]

i don't know if i made the right decision but for now it's fine.

i had this conversation about future, being in 20s and uni with mom yesterday where she told me: "you have to make a decision even if you'll wrong, i don't want to see you stuck in confusion of your thoughts and anxiety eating you up and if you'll understand you made the bad choice it's okay, neither me nor your dad will tell you you fail, just take a decision whatever it is"

so i did.

i love my parents <3 they care a lot about me and my sister's future, they always support us and they want us continuing to study at all costs. i appreciate this sm and i'm grateful.

but i feel like i'm wasting their time and money. idk what to in life and they're helping me as parents should do but i can't stop feeling guilty. but that's another story.

anyway. after spending a long day deciding between continuing archaeology or switch to biology *drumroll* i decided to continue archaelogy!!! and in 2nd year i'll discover if i really like it or not and if it ain't for me i'll see what to do.

i'm still confused about uni, obviously i am. i'm only 20 and it's okay not knowing what to do in life, i don't have to know this now. i think i'll know only living so struggling about it is useless, more experiences i'll do more things about me and what i want to be i'll learn. not everyone has the plan of their life, the dream job and the perfect city to live and that's perfectly fine. after school i stressed myself about future but i don't want to do it anymore, i'm exhausted.

maybe next year i'll change uni or maybe not who knows i want to follow the process without too much anxiety and pressure.

what made me decide to continue this uni career? well ...

first of all, i didn't know what to do so better continue what i started than start something over with all this anxiety and confusion.

the city. ok studying archeology wont be the most comfy thing cause i have to take 1H of bus everyday but it's the best for my mental health at the moment, biology uni i want to do is in another region and in my currently conditions i don't know if it's the best thing to do.

talking about mental health, i passed the last 5 years of my life struggling with anxiety and other bad stuff, with the pandemic everything got worse and now i'm here, in my 20s with a lots of things to fix and in september i'm going to see a psichologyst <3

also i have to get driver's licence lmao i postponed it for too long it scares me but i need it so yes, let's face some fears.

i passed all the 2022 stressing about my final exams and future and the 2023 was the same, i experienced uni for the first time and i didn't get much fun honestly, my anxiety intensified, i felt like i lost all my potential and still i don't know what to do so yes, the main goal for this autumn and 2024 will be taking care of me, stop surviving and star living and focus on those fucking 17 exams i have to do. i can do it.

[danceswithdarkspawn]

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

Many thanks to both @frozen-fountain and @justanotherpersonwhowrites for tagging me in this earlier this week. Finally getting around to it sorry jfkghdkj

I haven't been checking tumblr a lot recently so I have no idea who has and hasn't done this, so if you see this, feel free to play!

1. Are you named after anyone? I am, but I don't go by that name if I can get away with it.If I could snap my fingers and change my name, I would.

2. When was the last time you cried? last week from sheer exhaustion lol

3. Do you have kids? The four-legged kind? Yes. Otherwise no.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? About as often as I breathe.

5. What sports do you play/have played? I played basketball at one point. Now I'm not flexible or coordinated enough to even think about sports without straining something.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people? Probably their eyes. Maybe a cool shirt or other piece of clothing. Does that sound weird?

7. What's your eye color? Blue-ish green

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Ehh. Depends on the day.

9. Any special talents? Does sleeping through obnoxiously loud inclement weather count? Otherwise I'm at a loss.

10. Where were you born? Regrettably, out in the boonies.

11. What are your hobbies? Writing, napping, thinking about writing, bird watching, playing RPGs, and (lovingly) pestering my dog

12. Do you have pets? One majestic housewolf and a perpetually angry-looking lizard

13. How tall are you? 5"7' I think?

14. Favorite subject in school? Really liked biology, sad it was just a road bump in my highschool career.

15. Dream job? Shockingly, this is not something I've put much thought into. I at one point did schooling to be a physical therapist, and maybe I could still pursue that. I've also toyed with getting into forensic science or the veterinary field, but I'm not sure I have the fortitude for either.

[lunarheslwt]

15 questions tag thingy

Thank you @onlythebravest for tagging me!! So here's some random facts about me IG !

Are you named after anyone? - nope. My full name in my language roughly translates to "offering/offering to God" though.

When was the last time you cried? - maybe a week or 2 back. Being busy and exhausted with work actually means I cry WAY less

Do you have kids?- no and I don't them 🫣

Do you use sarcasm a lot? - not as much now, only with my brother/close friends

What’s the first thing you notice about people?- idk, hair? Maybe?

What’s your eye color? - brown

Scary movies or happy endings? - that's. I mean I always want happy endings. But I do like scary movies even if I'm stressed and anxiously talking the entire time.

Any special talents? - uh. Idk if I'd call any of it special but I suppose I write and paint. Special talent: overthinking shit I shouldn't overthink.

Where were you born? - UAE

What are your hobbies? - writing, reading, being in the fandom. Painting too but I don't get enough time these days. Making moodboards?

What sports do you play/have you played? - like none, I'm the least sporty person I know and I'm not fit enough for sports either

Do you have any pets? - two cats!

How tall are you? - 5"3/162 cm I think

Favorite subject at school? - English, psychology and biology till it got super hard and lengthy

Dream job? - no I'll have a crisis. I don't know 💀 I always think either something where I can be creative or something that is rather settled and fairly easy going bc with my anxiety lord knows fast paced high challenges work would be hell.

Ideally I should be able to just pick fruits, read a book in the sun and admire the sky daily smh

Anyways! Idk who has done this but I'm tagging a few people and if you wanna do it, you can! If you wanna do this and you haven't been tagged just say I tagged you. Tagging @nooradeservedbetter @enchantedlandcoffee @goldenkinglouis @sonofapudding @larryatendoftheday 💓

[kuttanjal123]

TIFFANY

Hey there, I'm Tiffany Simpson. I'm fifteen years old. I was born in April in Atlanta, Georgia, to Simone and Martin Simpson. I have hazel eyes and ear-length, sleek, black hair. I'm the only child, and I'm Black-American. Dad is a stockbroker who works at Charles Schwab. Mom is a school principal at the Keller School in Alpharetta. Grandma loved Nina Simone's voice and named Mom after her. Dad was named after Martin Luther King Jr. I go to Jefferson Public School in Cobb County. Ever since I was a kid, I was pretty athletic and participated in sports like basketball, tennis, and ran track.

I loved school because I had awesome friends and loved biology. I didn't have an ambition for what I wanted to become. I figured I would know with time. Mom personally looked after her students and staff, not just for the money but because she genuinely cared for them. It would've been nice if she could transfer the same feeling to me. Dad's job was really pressurizing.

My friends Samantha Taylor and Mary Stevens rode with me on the bus. They were blondes. Both of them had secret talents. Sam could play the saxophone, and Mary was an incredible pianist without classes. Since they were both busy with their jobs, they didn't have much time for me.

We enjoyed art class and biology, of course, was the best. Art comprised of a lot of sketching. Ms. Fiona Anderson was so passionate about biology. She would show us many videos about plant and animal reproduction and human anatomy, and the labs were terrific.

Viewing specimens beneath the microscope was so intriguing. With time, we were old enough to try out for cheerleading. I really wanted to because I loved the outfit and the routines. The flips, jumps, lifts, and moves gave the football team a great opening before the original game. Plus my crush was on it, Sterling Lane. He was one of the best players on the team. His smile shone across the field. Finally, it was time for try-outs.

"Hey girls," said Kimberly, the head cheerleader, as she proudly walked onto the field.

Kim looked just, Cindy Crawford. She even walked and talked like her. Maybe she was her idol.

"There she comes," murmured Sam. "The girl always in charge of everything—"

"The girl who always gets the boys," cut in Mary.

"You're pretty too," I said, looking at them.

"Yeah, right," said Mary rolling her eyes.

"So to try out, you gotta be ready to let go of other practices because this is real stuff. It needs a lot of time and practice. You ready?"

"Yeah!"

"I'm gonna show you a move, and you gotta repeat it one at a time. Got it?"

Everything was going just fine until Mary tripped and fell. We rushed to help her get up.

"Guys, go ahead. I don't think I can do this," she said as she held her ankle.

"We can't do try-outs on another day because this is the last day," said Kimberly as she walked up to us.

"Sam, Tiff, go ahead," said Mary as she groaned in pain. "We've been waiting for this the whole year," she said.

"NO!" we yelled.

"No! You guys ... this is big! Just take it! No more talking, shush! Let's go!"

She refused to let us back out, and as much as we were so excited for this ... our happiness was overshadowed by Mary's absence.

The practices were exhausting. We had to stay in perfect shape. Our house had burgers, barbecues, fried chicken, and so much more. I didn't cheat quite often. But if I did, it would be too much. I had to run four miles to burn it out. We had a basketball court in the backyard, so I practiced when I felt like with Dad on days he was free.

"I made it on to cheerleading!" I said excitedly.

"That's great, hon," he said, hugging me.

"Mom, did you hear that?" I asked as I came into the house.

"Yes, honey ... I did," she said as she was typing something on the laptop.

Mom and I didn't have a good relationship. I get that she was busy with the school, and her reputation and her friends' circle mattered, but she never had any time for me. Dad did, no matter how busy he was.

At home, we hardly spoke. One thing that did join us was the faith and spirituality Mom and Dad had instilled in me years earlier. When we went to church every weekend, I thanked Jesus because I felt a sense of calmness and peace. I also did pray for Mom and my relationship to get better.

The first football game that we were prepped for was against the Clifton School. Our team was the Jefferson Jaguars, and theirs was Clifton Patriots. Our jersey mirrored the color of the National Flag. Theirs were red and black. It was hard to say who looked better. It was our turn to perform the opening act.

Mom and Dad were in the crowd, and I had flips and jumps to do. I exhaled deeply and closed my eyes. We were up and running in less than two minutes. My final scene was the closing. I was thrown through the air. They caught me after I flipped. The execution was so smooth. The feeling was similar to jumping into the water without splashing.

It felt so good and what felt better was when the Jaguars won. This certainly was time to celebrate. Sam and I hugged each other.

As time progressed, Kimberly graduated, and I was made head cheerleader. I was in charge of arranging try-outs and choreography. This position put me in the limelight, and I got so absorbed with the attention I received that it made me lose sight of my grades and friendship with Mary and Sam. Nothing else mattered. The problem? My attitude and bossiness.

"You were supposed to be here five minutes ago! What took you so long?!" I screamed at Sam.

"I just had to get water, Tiff, calm down," she said as she tied her hair in a pony.

"This may not be a big deal for you, but it is for me. Whether you like it or not, it's my reputation on the line!"

"OK, I'm here! Relax!"

Sam did her routine, and it wasn't perfect.

"You're not doing it right! First, you show up late, then you mess up! Come on!" I said, shaking my head.

"Can I just—"

"Why don't you understand how serious this is!" I snapped. "Everyone's gonna be there to watch us, and if we mess up ... I'll get blamed. Not you! Me!"

"But—"

"No one cares about you guys ... because all they care about is the one in charge. And that's me," I said as I crossed my arms.

Sam stared at me in disgust for a few moments, then put down her pom-poms and walked away.

"Don't you dare leave!" I called out.

"I can, and I am. You're the boss. Get the replacement."

This argument led to things getting out of control one after the other. I did manage to find a replacement, but on the day we had to perform, the new girl was supposed to be one of the three who had to catch me in the performance.

Unfortunately, a cockroach fell on her shoulder, and she freaked out and lost control of her grip on me. The other girls lost balance, and I fell flat on my back, shrieking in pain. It was an utter embarrassment. Mom and Dad hurried down to the court while the coach and others lifted me to get medical attention. I was taken to the hospital and placed in a ward.

It took a long time for the physicals. They had to scan both the inside and outside of my body. There was some good news and some bad news. I had a bump on the back of my head, and luckily there was no internal bleeding, but I had fractured my back. It had swollen really bad, and I was unable to move.

I learned that my vertebral column had been dislocated, and the best way to fix that was surgery. Opting out could lead to serious problems in the future, like not being able to stand or sit and having a terrible posture.

I began crying.

"It's alright, honey, everybody makes mistakes," said Dad holding my hand.

"But not like what happened to me! That was so embarrassing! Everyone was there!" I cried.

"What's important is that you're feeling better, and we can take you home soon," said Mom with her arms crossed.

"When I get back, everyone's gonna laugh at me! Sam, Mary, Jackson ... everyone."

"That's not true. You're gonna be fine," said Dad. "You'll see—"

"Can I have a moment with you guys, please?" asked the doctor as he walked in.

The news just got worse.

"I just wanted to go over what we discussed earlier. I have the results of her physicals, and they look fine, but regarding her back, the X-ray denotes that she will need a year to recover with medication and physiotherapy. There might be a chance that this problem could worsen if she exerts herself with other activities."

"What do you mean, doctor?" asked Mom.

"I mean that kids love running and playing sports at this age, but she's gonna have to cut back on some of that. Also, there's a potential that she could gain some weight with the medicine, so just as I keep her in good spirits, I encourage you to try that as well."

I cried myself to sleep, and no matter how hard they tried to make me feel better or comfort me, it just didn't help. Sam and Mary visited me in the hospital, but I really wish they hadn't come in the first place.

"Hey, Tiff, how're you feeling?" they asked as they sat beside me.

"Terrible obviously," I said, pissed. "Why did you guys come here?"

"What do you mean?" they asked, looking surprised.

"Well, look at me! I'm not OK!" I shouted.

"We came here to check on you and talk to you—"

"It's your fault. If you hadn't walked out on the team, none of this would have happened," I said, looking at Sam.

"It's not my fault that you fell. And I walked out because you were bossy and rude about being the head cheerleader. This mattered to you so much that you didn't give me a chance to explain why I was late for practice," said Sam.

"I was just doing my job. That's what you signed up for."

"Wow," chuckled Sam, shaking her head, disappointed. "I guess you're not the same Tiffany I knew before this whole gig. I don't know what happened ... but I really don't wanna be here right now."

As she headed towards the door, Mary followed.

"So you think it's my fault too?" I asked.

"If you need to blame someone, blame the girl who you found as the replacement. In fact, you're the one to blame. We wanted to come and talk to you as your friends, but you're so full of yourself. It's your arrogance that spoils everything. Why do you gotta be like that?"

"Really?"

"It's not even about whose fault it is. It was beyond anyone's control, and if the insect had fallen on Sam or my shoulder ... I'm sure you would've done the same. 'Cause trust me ... no one likes cockroaches."

"That's a ton of bull—"

"I'm done arguing with you," snapped Mary. "I'm out."

"Fine! Just go!" I yelled and I threw a glass at the door as she walked out.

Back at home, Dad needed to carry me upstairs since I was sore from all the treatment and medication. The next day at school was awful. Instead of receiving support, I was mocked ... and although this wasn't something I'd not anticipated, I wasn't mentally or emotionally prepared for it.

"Turn to page 17, and we're gonna talk about the parts of a frog," said Mrs. Anderson, our Biology teacher.

"Guess she's talking about you," sneered someone behind me.

I teared up and left the class for the bathroom. In the mirror, I saw a different version of myself. The medicines had indeed taken a toll on my appearance. When I got back, it was apparent I had cried. All eyes were on me. At recess, I sat alone, and more insults were hurled at me.

"Did you guys know we have a life-sized balloon and crocodile in our class? It talks and moves!" said someone behind me.

It was Joshua, a big bully. Tears streamed down my face, and instead of usually trying to be healthy with what I ate, the jokes, the words ... it all got to me, and I began piling on a lot of junk. I ate to numb my emotions, and food felt like the one friend that would never leave or betray me.

"You know, I don't like the milk today. Don't you think it tastes bad?" I heard Sam ask.

"What do you think we should do? Any suggestions, Josh?" asked Mary.

"Throw it, I guess?" he said, rolling his eyes.

"Good idea," said Sam and poured the milk on him. "I just did."

That felt good and made me smile. But what brought a bigger smile to my face was what they did next.

"Can we sit with you?"

I stared at them for a few moments before I swallowed a big bite of my fried chicken sandwich.

"You guys talking to me?"

"When did we stop?" said Mary as she sat beside me.

"We'll never stop talking to you," said Sam as she put her arm around me.

I was so happy.

Up to a point, I didn't care about my appearance. My two friends stood up to anyone who bullied me. I was fat-shamed all the time and sent hurtful messages on my phone. It was challenging to turn a deaf ear to some of them .... Nobody knew that I was struggling with the side effects of the medication.

Life took a huge turn in 2008. There was a recession. Dad aimed to save up money for my education. He lost his job, and Mom was the only earning member in the family. We couldn't depend on just her to bear the financial burden. It was time to leave Georgia. Dad needed to find a temporary job to make ends meet. And then came the break.

The company he worked for had an opening in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. They transferred him because of the value he brought to the company. He was excellent. Mom decided to stay back since she didn't want to risk losing her position. It surely would be difficult for her to find a job elsewhere with the same pay. She rented a small condo. Frankly, I preferred living with Dad rather than her. She would never make time for me. My friends' parents managed to secure their jobs. Lucky for them. Bidding farewell to everyone was hard.

"Don't worry, you can talk to us over the weekends," said Mary.

"We'll try to come and visit you sometime," said Sam. "And you'll find great friends there too."

"Meh."

I didn't have a farewell at school because I didn't want one. My most treasured possession was my cheerleading outfit. It sounded crazy that I still kept it. Except for the prior experience when I fell, I considered it a significant achievement in my life. It was the same activity that both broke and then revived my relationship with my two best friends.

When we landed at the airport in Louisiana, the ride to our new home was surprisingly short.

"Welcome home, honey!" said Dad.

This was the first time I saw him genuinely happy because the event had affected him deeply. He had hopes to start life again and give me a happy future. We managed to get take-outs for a couple of days until Dad attempted to make beef stew. I helped him cut vegetables. Cooking wasn't really his thing, but I was curious to taste how it turned out. It was pretty bad. But I didn't want him to feel sad and encouraged him to cook more and help him. I tried to make conversation.

"I'm sorry about the current situation. But glad they didn't let you down."

"It's all good."

"Can I ask you something serious that's been bothering me for a long time?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Why doesn't Mom care for me?"

He stopped eating and looked up.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean like ... she's never there for me."

"Of course she is. She showed up for your competition—"

"It's cheerleading."

"Right."

"She never spends time with me. It's always about her school, their picnics, her status. We don't have any girl time or Mom and daughter time together, and anything I do never excites her. I want to get my nails done with her ... just hang out, talk about things. But it never happens. I've tried to, but she doesn't listen to me or finds excuses. It's like she had me, and she doesn't want anything to do with me."

"Nah, that's not true. If she didn't care about you, she wouldn't have stayed back in Georgia to continue making money for you and your future just like me."

"But I want her to be here with me. Here. Right now."

"You don't understand," he said, shaking his head as he stood up.

"I do! Why can't she put her career aside and be there for me?!" I shouted.

"Because I'm sick."

"You're sick?! What are you talking about?! Some old wack ass story again!"

"It's true, Tiffany," said Dad calmly. "I'm sick. I'm diagnosed with stage one cancer."

I stared at him in disbelief.

"What?" I said softly.

"We promised not to tell you anything because we wanted to keep this a secret. You're just a kid, and I tried to give you reasons so you would stop asking but ... " he trailed off, "now you know."

I hugged him, sobbing. I felt terrible. I hadn't contributed in any way, and it felt like a slap in the face. I felt guilty for accusing my mom when all she was doing was protecting our unity and financial stability.

"It's alright, I'll be OK," he said as he rubbed my back in a comforting way. "I just have to go in for chemo, and soon I'll be back to playing basketball with you."

"No! You need to rest and take care of yourself!"

"I will. Jesus knows we love you too much and he's gonna be there for us always."

"Mom wants to save money to pay for my tuition?" I asked as I wiped my tears with a tissue.

"We both wanted to. We wanted to give you the dream we couldn't have. But ever since I fell sick, the money had to be split for both your education and my treatment. We needed loans, too."

"But I don't want to go to a great college. I'm just happy going to a decent school. I can take a loan and study harder."

"Sure, you could ... but we'll see how things work out."

I had a short emotional conversation with Mom, and I was so happy we worked things out.

I was enrolled at Willington Public School, and the first day of class was very awkward. I walked in wearing blue jeans and a colorful top. The class teacher was Ms. Hayley Gordon.

"This is Tiffany Simpson, and she just moved from Georgia a few days ago. Let's welcome her!" she cheered.

Nobody said a word, and I sat in my spot. Off to a great start, right? Or at least I thought so. 

[someonestolemyshoes]

Hi! Have u done any pregnant Hanji and overprotective daddy Levi already?? Yep i think im craving for more domestic levihan family, im sorry 😭

Im a bit new here in the community, and when i read ur works, i fell in love with it already, thank you for existing!!! 💖💖💖

Hello anon! Thank you so much, I’m so glad you enjoyed my other fics :3 Sorry for the very long wait for this one, I've been struggling to find the time/motivation to write lately, but I'm feeling a little better and I figured I'd get to work on some of my prompts. Starting here!!

It ended up a little less domestic and a touch more angsty than I had originally planned, but only for a moment--happy endings all round! 

Warning: this does start off with non-graphic depictions of nausea/vomiting, I hope that doesn't bother you!

Hange had been feeling unwell for days.

It wasn't an uncommon occurrence—Hange tended to wake up feeling nauseous some days, most often when she'd neglected to eat a decent meal the evening before—but this was the fourth morning in a row now, that Hange found herself bent over the toilet bowl in the early hours of the morning, heaving up nothing but acid and empty air. 

She retched until her stomach ached. There was nothing left to bring up, but her gut still rolled unpleasantly and there was a telling tremor under her tongue that warned her it might be best to stay in the bathroom a little while longer. She settled heavily against the wall to catch her breath.

It didn't make any sense. For most of the day, Hange felt fine. A little tired, maybe, but that was only to be expected after spending half the night every night on the bathroom floor. Tonight, no doubt, would follow the uncomfortably familiar routine: Hange would dry-heave a little longer, until the queasiness abated enough for Levi to convince her to come back to bed, and then she would toss and turn, too warm beneath the bed clothes, until she could fall into a restless sleep. She'd wake up feeling a little groggy, a little bleary, unreasonably hungry, but after a coffee and some breakfast she would feel well again. Perfectly normal.

Like clockwork, Levi appeared in the doorway just as Hange had flopped herself back over the toilet. She felt his palm, cool and soft, press against the back of her neck. Hange gathered her hair back from her face with both hands, braced her elbows on the toilet bowl, letting out a groan of discomfort as her stomach twisted, threatened to revolt again. Levi's thumb rubbed soothingly against her neck.

Sure enough, she brought up nothing more, but she gagged plenty, and found herself gasping for breath by the time she leaned back against Levi, aching and exhausted. His lips pressed into her damp hair.

Levi was as silent as always. His touch was pleasant, his presence welcome. Hange needed the hand he offered to pull her to her feet, needed his reassuring grip at her hips as she brushed her teeth and rinsed her mouth out. Her quaking knees felt unstable beneath her. 

He lay facing her after they got into bed. Hange was sprawled out atop the covers, shifting restlessly to find the coolest patches on the bed. Levi watched her for a moment, then said, "This isn't normal."

Hange only grumbled.

"You said you'd book an appointment with the doctor."

Hange grumbled again. Levi ticked his tongue and rolled to lie on his back, staring at the ceiling.

"Call tomorrow."

"If I didn't know better," Hange said sluggishly, "I'd say you were worried about me."

He scowled and rolled onto his other side, his back to her now.

"No, just sick of waking up at half four every morning to drag you back to bed."

Hange managed a small, wicked snicker, but shuffled across the space between them and pressed an apologetic kiss to the back of his neck.

"Must be dreadful," she said. Her voice sounded raw, hoarse. She buried her nose into his hair and took a long, deep breath. Levi grunted, but reached back and pulled her arm loosely over his hip. He knotted their fingers together loosely.

"Call them, Hange."

Hange gave his fingers a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

"I will."

**

Hange prided herself on being a reasonably intelligent person. She had two degrees, was working towards her doctorate, and already had her name on a small handful of peer-reviewed research papers. She spoke multiple languages, read dissertations for fun, kept a (in Levi’s words) disgustingly realistic human skeleton in a box under the bed for study purposes, and had spent the better part of the last 26 years of her life studying human biology and physiology.  

How she had not predicted that she might be pregnant was almost unfathomable. 

She left the doctors office in a daze with an appointment card and several pamphlets in hand. She had been referred hastily to a midwife and the hospital would soon be sending out a date for an ultrasound—“As soon as possible,” the doctor had said, “since you’re not sure how far along you are.” 

The thing is, Hange had been on the same birth control pill for years now. Forgetful as she may be about many, many things (like eating, and bathing, and washing the dishes and taking out the garbage and and and), Hange was religious in taking that damn pill at the same time every single day. She had never missed it, not even once. Without a regular cycle, Hange had no way of predicting when they had conceived, and the doctor was eager to make sure no essential landmarks in her antenatal care were missed, if they could possibly help it.

The thought had never even crossed her mind. It seemed ridiculous now, in hindsight. The sickness was one thing, but now that she thought about it, there were a whole host of small oddities that Hange could easily attribute to pregnancy. Lethargy, and bloating, heartburn, and she had been peeing more than usual—Hange groaned, and scrubbed her hands over her face. She should have suspected, at least. Should have put the pieces together sooner. 

But, stupid and naive as it may be, she hadn’t thought it possible. Why worry about it, when Hange had taken consistent precautions to avoid it? 

She felt queasy the entire bus ride home. 

It wasn’t that she was against the idea of having children. One day, maybe. When she had finished her doctorate, got herself a steady, well-paid job. When she and Levi had moved out of their tiny, cramped apartment into somewhere bigger, somewhere more suited for a family. 

And god. Levi. 

This was something they’d never really talked about. For his part, Levi never seemed all that interested. He was good with Hange’s nieces and nephews, and Erwin’s son adored him, and he hadn’t showed any express dislike for children, but—well, tolerating other peoples little brats and raising your own are two very different things. 

What if Levi didn’t want the baby? What if he did? Hange wasn’t even sure herself what she wanted to do about the whole situation—what if she didn’t want it? What if, after some reflection, Hange decided now wasn’t a good time? Could they even afford a baby right now? Hange’s money was tied up in her education, while Levi was just making ends meet at the office. They got by well enough with just the two of them, but add in a baby? A whole other person, entirely dependant on them for support? Hange could barely feed and bathe herself, some days, never mind responsibly care for a child. 

By the time the bus pulled up near the house, Hange felt more distressed than ever. Levi, at least, was at work until the evening, so she had a few more hours to herself to mull everything over, but the entire situation made her stomach clench and churn unpleasantly with every new thought. 

The prospect of having a child was terrifying. The prospect of not having this child was nauseating. 

Levi had left the flat in pristine condition when he had left for work, but Hange barely had the energy to feel even a little guilty as she shrugged off her coat and kicked off her shoes, leaving both strewn about the floor. She dumped her bag and made her way sluggishly through to the bedroom. 

Levi had made the bed. The sheet was stretched flat over the mattress, the pillows perfectly fluffed and set against the headboard. Hange’s nightshirt, one of Levi’s old, baggy shirts, too stretched and threadbare for him to wear, had been folded neatly and left on her side of the bed, her slippers lined up smartly with the bed frame. For some reason—hormones, she told herself—her eyes watered, and a lump swelled in her throat. She sniffled pitifully as she stripped off her clothes and pulled on the shirt, clambering into the bed and tugging the sheets until the cocooned around her. 

Hange passed the rest of the day tossing and turning in bed. She tried to nap, but her mind was too restless, occupied with thoughts of the baby, with the concept of having to tell Levi when he came home. She could try to lie, say the doctors had done some blood work, that she was waiting on the results of some test or other, but Levi knew her too well. She could never lie to him, and her despondent state would give her away before she had the chance to say anything. 

The sun was beginning to set by the time she heard Levi’s keys in the door. She felt exhausted, head aching with all the thinking, considering, weighing up her options; with running over every possible outcome she could imagine. Keeping the baby, getting rid of the baby, Levi not wanting the baby, Levi leaving over the baby—every scenario she could imagine was worse than the last. There was only one idea that she had hardly dared entertain, in fear of disappointment if things didn’t work out. 

She heard Levi call out for her, but gave no answer. She listened, curled up in a ball on her side, as he shuffled around, no doubt picking up her coat and shoes from where she had abandoned them. And then he made his way towards the bedroom, steps soft on the plush carpet. The bedroom door creaked open. 

“Hange?” 

She made a small, warbled noise under the bedclothes. Levi came to sit on the bed, the mattress dipping beneath his weight. His hand found the curve of Hange’s hip. 

“How was it?” 

Hange made another noncommittal sound. She wiped her nose and eyes on the sheets, but didn’t dare show her face just yet. She wasn’t ready. She had never prepared for this conversation, never even imagined it before today. It was too soon. Not enough time to rehearse. 

Levi’s hand moved to her back, rubbing lightly up and down her spine, before dropping to the mattress behind her. He leaned over her, and she felt his lips press warm and gentle to the point of her shoulder. A fresh wave of tears poured over the bridge of her nose and down the side of her face. 

She tried to be quiet, but something—the shake of her shoulder, perhaps, or the shudder of air as she tried to take a steadying breath in—gave way to her crying. Levi moved off the bed, but Hange felt his fingers prying lightly at the sheets, pulling them down until he could get a good look at her face. He was kneeling by the bed now, face level with her, and he looked at her with worry pinching deep creases between his brows. 

“Oi, what’d they say?” 

Hange bit the inside of her lip and rubbed her damp cheek on the pillow. If Levi was bothered by her using their bedding as a tissue, he didn’t show it. He simply looked at her, eyes darting over her face, searching. It occurred to Hange then how this must look to him. She had gone to the doctors due to unexplained, violent sickness, and now she is in bed, hours later, still crying about whatever news she had received. 

“I’m fine,” she said. Levi’s tense shoulders relaxed a fraction, but his face remained pinched, frowning and concerned. Hange wanted to tell him quickly, simply, like ripping off a plaster, but the words would not come. She opened her mouth, but her throat constricted painfully. 

Eventually, she said, “my bag. There’s some stuff in my bag. Have a look.” 

Levi gave her a somewhat quizzical look, but stood, dropping a quick kiss to her temple before going to fetch the bag, and dipping his hand in to fish out the contents inside. 

Hange watched with her breath held and her stomach clenched as Levi pulled out the handful of leaflets and turned them over, looking at each one in turn. His eyes widened fractionally as comprehension dawned on him. His lips pressed into a thin line. Leaden weight settled in Hange’s gut. She curled into a tighter ball, pressing the bedsheets over her mouth and nose, waiting for him to gather himself enough to say something. 

After a moment, he spoke. 

“That’s all?” 

Huh? “Huh?!” 

Hange disentangled her arms from the sheets and sat up, staring at him. Levi moved to sit on the edge of the bed again, a scowl back on his face, though there was an intriguing flush high on his cheeks as he whacked her lightly on the top of the head with the leaflets. 

“Stupid four-eyes,” he said, exasperated. “Crying like that. I thought you were dying.”  

“I’m pregnant.” Hange said the word slowly, carefully, in case Levi had somehow misunderstood. He had the audacity to look at her like she was stupid.

“I can see that.” 

“And you have nothing more to say about it? That’s all?” 

Levi shrugged a little at her. Aside from the small patches of colour in his cheeks, Levi seemed wholly unfazed by the revelation. 

“It’s just a baby. We can handle a baby.” 

“That doesn’t terrify you?” 

Levi scrutinised her for a moment, before he said, “are you scared?” 

“Yes? Yes! How are you so calm? We can’t afford a baby—we don’t have the time for a baby? Where will they going to sleep? We don’t have a spare room. Can we get time off work to take care of a baby? How will we pay for childcare when we can’t be around?” 

“Hange,” Levi said, putting a stop to her rambling. He watched her with a pinched stare. “Do you not want it?” 

Hange had spent the majority of the day mulling over this same question. Staring a family was a huge, life-changing commitment, something that required  careful forethought and planning. They had not had that luxury. Hange was pregnant now. She had doubts and fears, more than she could ever express, but the idea of simply having a baby—of having this baby—wasn’t upsetting. In the small, brief moments she had allowed herself to imagine a future where she and Levi were parents, where they weren’t wanting for money or time, where things were well, she felt happy. Giddy. The prospect was almost exciting. 

“It’s not that,” Hange said earnestly. “I do—I’ve been thinking about it all day, and I—I do want it. But I just—we had no time to prepare. We have no savings, we have no space, I’m a mess. How are we supposed to take care of a tiny person? Babies are hard work, Levi.”

“You’re already hard work.” 

Hange laughed weakly, and wiped at her face again. Levi pressed a kiss to her raw cheek. 

“We’ll figure it out,” he said.

Hange leaned into him, sighing quietly. 

“Is this the kind of thing we can just figure out?” 

Levi hummed, shrugging his shoulder. His fingers skimmed up beneath Hange’s shirt, splaying over the small of her back and pulling her closer. 

“Why not? We’ve done a good job bullshitting our way through everything else.”  

Hange laughed lightly and bumped the side of her head against Levi’s.  

“This is different, Levi. This is a person. A tiny little person who is going to need me and you to do everything for them. What if we can’t do it? What if we mess up?” 

“Hange.” Levi pulled back a little and his hands came up to grip either side of her face, forcing her to look at him. “Stop. I know all that. But if you want the brat, and I want the brat, we’ve got no choice but to get on with it.” 

“I know, I know, but—wait, you want the baby?” 

Levi maintained eye contact with her, but it seemed to take a concentrated effort to do so. The flush of his cheeks deepened a little and his lips quirked at the corners. No doubt to compensate for the show of emotion, he pulled his face into his customary frown. 

“It’s fine,” he said. Hange fought the urge to roll her eyes and caught his hands as he lowered them from her face, pulling them into her lap. 

“Are you saying that because it’s already too late, or do you want to keep it?” 

Levi’s face took on a look of constipated strain. He curled his lip as though in distaste, then hooked a hand around the back of Hange’s neck and pulled her face to his abruptly, smacking a kiss to her lips. He let his forehead settle against hers and stroked his thumb over the hinge of her jaw. 

He fought to keep his tone neutral, but Hange could hear the happy tremor in his voice as he said again, “It’s fine.”

For the first time since hearing the news that day, Hange allowed herself to feel excited. To accept the idea that she and Levi were about to start their own bizarre little family. That Levi was still with her felt incredible enough, but to know that he was pleased—it was more than she could ever have hoped for. Hange gave a wet laugh and kissed him again. 

“Are you allergic to looking happy?” Hange asked as they broke apart. Levi clicked his tongue and pulled back to flick her square between the eyebrows. She laughed a little louder and leaned to wipe her runny nose on his shoulder. Levi muttered under his breath, but didn’t push her away.  

“Okay,” Hange said, after a moment. She sat back and pushed her hair back from her face. “Okay. We’re having a baby, then.” 

Levi’s rubbed the smile from his lips with the back of his hand, nodding. “We’re having a baby.” 

Hange sunk down to flop back over the pillows. Levi looked down at her, head tilted, chewing the inside of his lip. Hange reached up to brush his fringe off his forehead, warmth spilling in her chest when he held her hand close and turned to kiss her palm. 

She smiled a little playfully, and freed a leg from the sheets to dig her toes into his ribs. 

“If I’d known you wanted kids I would have been significantly less stressed, you know.” 

Levi quirked a brow at her. 

“I’ve told you that before.” 

“No, you haven’t.” 

“I have. At your sisters wedding.” 

Hange racked her brain, searching for the conversation. She remembered the occasion, and she remembered that she and Levi had somehow ended up babysitting Hange’s family brood. She remembered Levi, wrestling to keep her youngest nephew on his lap while the eldest, still only five or six at the time, was clambering up the back of his chair, sticky hands tugging at Levi’s collar. Hange fought hard to recall more of what was said, but could remember nothing at all of Levi announcing that he had wanted one of his own. 

“You said these brats aren’t so bad,” Hange said slowly. 

Levi nodded at her. Hange waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t, only looked at her like there was nothing more he needed to say. 

“That’s it? That’s your idea of telling me you want kids?” 

“The hell else could I have meant?” 

Hange dug her toe at him again but Levi caught her foot this time, pushing it firmly down onto the mattress. Hange reached for him with both arms instead, curling them around the back of his neck and tugging him down quickly. He toppled over her with a quiet oof, and Hange rolled them quickly, straddling his waist and dropping her weight down onto him. 

“That is the kind of thing you say clearly, Levi! These brats aren’t so bad—you’re ridiculous!” 

Levi wrestled with her arms a little longer before giving up and bringing his hands instead to rest low on her hips. He watched her with a curious expression on his face, something open and soft, and then his eyes roved down to her abdomen and his thumbs brushed inwards, beneath the hem of her shirt, stroking over her lower belly. 

This time, he didn’t fight his smile. 

He reached up and pulled her down by the neck, and kissed her soundly. Hange melted against him, welcomed the press of his tongue between her lips, shuddered pleasantly when he nipped at her bottom lip. She went with him willingly as he rolled them both over, nudging a knee between her legs and settling his weight against her. 

She was spreading her legs to make space for him, when he paused suddenly, and pulled back, leaning over the bed and scooping through the discarded back of leaflets. Hange, winded and dishevelled, watched him incredulously as he flicked through the contents of one, then tossed it aside and opened another. 

“What are you doing?” 

Without looking up, Levi replied, “Checking.” 

“Checking what?” 

“I wanna know if we can still—” he waved a hand between them, and went back to searching. 

“We’ve been—” Hange mimicked his gesture, “—up until now anyway.” 

Levi looked up at her, looking mildly horrified. He held up one his open leaflet and said, “You’ve been drinking alcohol, too. You’re not supposed to do that. And look, here—you’re not supposed to overwork. You’ll have to take on less hours at the university. And you’ll eat. Proper damn meals. Every day.” 

Hange flopped back against the pillows, eyes rolling, watching as Levi picked up each new leaflet in turn, pointing out every little adjustment that Hange would have to make. 

“This one says you should get eight to ten hours sleep per night. Every night. And not so much coffee, the caffeine’s bad for the baby.” 

The baby. It sounded surreal. It sounded ridiculous. Levi shifted to sit against the headboard beside her after opening the chunky little What to Expect While Expecting volume Hange had been handed while leaving the doctors. He seemed thoroughly engrossed, and seemingly unaware when one of his hands reached out to pull Hange’s hair free of its ponytail and sink into her hair. She hummed happily as his nails scraped over her scalp. 

Things were still scary, and Hange was still uncertain about how this whole adventure might turn out. But Levi was still with her, and Levi was happy, and that—

—Well, that was good enough. 

[folkloreguk]

an angel for a demon (2)

A/N: Part one came out like two years ago lmao but I’ve always wanted to write another part, and here it finally is! I’m always open to feedback of any kind! x

genre: smut, optional bias (male), demon!bias, angel!reader, reader’s first time, unprotected sex bc we pretend angels and demons can’t have babies or STDs apparently

words: ~ 3.4 k

PART 1

PART 3

Three days had passed since you had begun to live with him. It had taken you some time to get used to your new surroundings and to realize this is where you would spend most of your time from now on. His place was not what angels called beautiful. Had it been yours, it would have been filled with antique statues of heavenly beings, light, soft colors and comfortable pillows and blankets. But his taste differed gravely from yours. He had a love for black marble and accents of red. Not the beautiful, bright red of strawberries in summer. It was dark crimson, like deoxygenated blood fresh out of a wound. You felt like you had entered a side wing of hell itself, sometimes. But you knew hell had to be much, much worse.

On the second day, you had set yourself the challenge of making the place feel at least slightly homier. No one who entered this apartment would, even in their wildest dreams, assume that an angel lived there. Although you weren’t sure you could call yourself that, anymore. Your trip to the grocery store was the most humane thing you had ever done on earth, but surely wouldn’t stay the last. You wondered, while you had strolled around the isles, whether one day you could find yourself working a job on earth, now that you couldn’t call heaven home no more. You still had the desire to help the humans, and maybe you could earn a living whilst doing so.

On that note, you had pondered countless times how a demon could afford the luxury he lived in. But he wasn’t one to tell you about his day when he returned home after being out all night. He called it ‘demon business’ and ‘nothing that should concern a little angel’. One day, you would winkle it out of him. Although maybe you really would be better off not knowing. But you knew, as always that sooner or later your curiosity would get the best of you.

When he came home on the second day and laid eyes on the cotton candy-colored flowers on the table, he couldn’t help but smirk at how proud you were. The contrast was stark against the dark ebony table and seemed like an accurate representation of how you had felt in his home.

“If you wanted me to bring you flowers you could have just said so,” he said.

“I like going out to the store myself sometimes,” you replied. He was always so stern when he returned home. Sometimes he had tired eyes, and often he seemed physically exhausted. But the moment he laid eyes on you, his strained expression softened. Then, he’d stroke away a strand of your hair and gaze at you with utmost admiration. He had offered to buy you whatever your heart desired, but your angel life had never required you to have possessions. There was no greed or yearning for luxury, and you liked it that way.

One thing, however, you never seemed to get enough of on earth. No matter how many books you opened and got lost in, you always wanted more. And he knew of your wish to learn more about the world. He had gifted you books of philosophy, biology and physics, and yet he had no idea it wasn’t science that interested you the most.

Every night you lay awake for too long, reflecting on what he had said to you that one night. That there was more for you to learn. Before him, you never knew what real pleasure felt like – you weren’t supposed to, even now – but now that you understood, you only wanted to feel it again and again. A few times you had contemplated asking him to show you more. To let you feel the pure bliss of what heaven called sinning again. But he seemed tired when he returned home, and when he didn’t you were too scared to approach him with such a topic. Plus, you didn’t even know how to. Too new was the idea of you – an angel – even thinking of doing such unholy things.

So you spent your days pacing around the apartment, sitting by the window, looking out at the city and waiting for him to come home. One night, you couldn’t fall asleep, as on many other occasions. He wasn’t there next to you, and the bed felt too big for just one lonely angel in it. There was an almost burning sensation between your legs. Once again, you squeezed your eyes shut and thought of other things – floating on clouds, watching older angels’ wings flatter, inspecting your little village you used to guard from above. But nothing helped. It all led back to black eyes, razor teeth, a sharp tongue and hands so hellish in their actions, you should have wished he had never touched you. And yet you never did.

Your eyes shot open when you heard the shower turn on. The alarm clock on the table read 1:57 am. Not so patiently, you waited a few minutes until the sound of the water died down. Then, you tip-toed out of the room and down the hall.

The sight of him made your cheeks heat up. He was sat, in the dark, on the sofa. A towel was around his waist, a few drops of water glistening on his bare chest as he lifted the glass of alcohol to his lips.

“What are you doing standing and staring, little angel? Why don’t you come join me?” he suddenly asked. Your heart skipped a beat at his voice. Heaven help me now, you thought.

“I thought you didn’t…,” you started, slowly moving across the room as if you were floating.

“I didn’t notice you?” he finished your sentence. You hummed a quiet yes. “Your glow is hard to miss.”

You weren’t sure what he meant by that. Was he saying, that just as he had a dark aura around him, you radiated a bright one? It made sense to you. You stopped in your tracks when you stood in front of him.

“You’re wearing your angel dress again,” he pointed out. He had brought you clothes, but nothing felt as right on your body as your white dress you had always worn.

“I always sleep in it,” you said. “You never see it, since you’re never here.”

“Does my little angel miss me?” he said. His dark eyes watched you intently, but they softened when he realized you had meant your words. “Come here, let me make it up to you.”

Not knowing what he meant by those words, you plopped down next to him.

“I meant come here,” he repeated, tapping his lap. Oh. Obediently, you swung one of your legs over his waist. Suddenly, you were hyperaware of the fact that his towel was the only thing between your center and his bare skin. Carefully, you watched his eyes for instructions or assurance. You kept your hands tightly by your sides, not daring to touch his skin that shined so beautifully in the moonlight. It was almost ironic, how ethereal his perfectly sculpted muscles appeared to you.

“Tell me, angel, do you sometimes think about what we did three days ago?” he asked, softly brushing his fingers along your arm. You should have felt ashamed to admit it. But with the way he watched you, he seemed to already guess your answer.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about it,” you said, the words spilling out after keeping them in for too long. “I want to know more.”

He smirked, hooded black eyes watching your every breath while his head remained on the backrest of the sofa.

“Is that so?” he almost teased. “Why don’t you kiss me, then? Go ahead.”

Hesitantly, you bent forward until your forehead was almost touching his. Now, you didn’t look into his intimidating gaze anymore, but instead the closeness only made you more nervous. But more prominent than your nerves was your curiosity and your desire you hadn’t been able to shut out for the past days. You smelled a faint note of alcohol before you softly pressed your lips against his. Your kiss was the tender flutter of butterfly wings, like a singular snowflake landing on warm skin, as careful as a little bird in a lion’s cage.

But he kissed back, so overwhelmingly and suddenly, it robbed your breath in an instant. His body straightened up now, arms pulling you closer to his chest. Humming contently, he took your lifeless hands from your sides and placed them on his shoulders. His warm skin was inviting, making it easy for you to melt into his touch. Still, you weren’t used to this feeling. Maybe you would never get used to it. Perhaps it was supposed to be this exciting every single time. He breathed against your mouth heavily and his tongue swiped across your lips. The sensation was enticing and combined with his coaxing hands digging into your waist, your guilt washed away far too quickly. But there had been no redemption after the previous time and there wouldn’t be one now. Or ever. For a moment, you pulled away, needing air.

“Too much? Too fast?” he asked, cradling your face in his hands. A rush of comfort overcame you.

“No, I’m fine. It just feels – really good,” you said.

“Of course it does,” he bragged, smirking infamously.

“Can you…I want you to touch me…like you did last time,” you said. Even you were surprised at yourself. You could have just waited for him and he surely would have made you feel amazing. But now that you knew what it could feel like, you weren’t able to swallow your impatience.

“Such a sinful confession from such holy lips,” he said, voice dripping honey while he brushed two of his fingers across those very lips. “I wonder what other things those could do.”

What could he possibly be talking about? How much was there for you to try out? Whatever it was, you wanted to do it all. You had no idea what had come over you. Was there a secret demon that had taken possession of your body without notice? Or maybe you were simply an angel tired of acting like one.

Slowly, his hands dropped from your sides and to your hips. All while he watched your face like it was his favorite meantime to make you squirm under his touch. When he progressed to your thighs, something dropped in your stomach. Again, your body reacted before your mind did and you wanted to press your legs together. It felt familiar, but just as thrilling as the first time. His head tilted slightly as if to ask ‘do you like this?’ as he lifted the hem of your satin dress. And how you liked it.

You were very aware of being bare in front of him. So, in order to avoid feeling his eyes on your body, you bent forward again to kiss him. Bad idea – because the lack of oxygen and the loss of your sight when you closed your eyes only intensified the need. His fingertips were fleeting, rather non-demon-like, but you knew how fast he could flip his actions, had he wanted to.

They ghosted over your slit, collecting your wetness that had been pooling there. At even the slightest contact of his finger on your clit, you let out a quiet noise. He had been biting his lip, but when he heard you, his eyes met yours in an instant and he smirked.

“Let me hear you, little angel,” he said, before placing a kiss on your neck. While he continued to suck purple marks into your skin, his fingers toyed around your center, figuring out what made you react in the best way. And as the angel you were, always eager to please, you made sure you didn’t keep your mouth shut anymore. It felt weird, noticing the sounds he produced from you so involuntarily, but the more you concentrated on the feeling of his hand between your legs, the easier it was to ignore them.

Maybe you were easy to please, or perhaps you were completely see-through for him. It occurred to you he had you figured out head to toe. How did he know exactly which spots to touch to have you clinging to him, as if you would have fallen had he not held you? He drew random figures on your clit, variating the pace just to keep you on edge right where he wanted you. Now and then, his digits slid further down to your core, almost entering you but not quite yet. Your moans came out in a muffled manner as you had your face buried where his neck and shoulder met.

“Look at me, angel,” he said. So you did. No matter what sort of menace could have possibly lay behind his black orbs, the sound of his voice made you want to give him everything. And judging by the way your hips were moving and pushing against his hands by themselves you had already given your body to him. Against all odds, after all the horror stories you had been told to ensure an angel like you would stay far away from hellish beings, you trusted him.

“What a disgrace…They kept you locked up in heaven all this time,” he spoke. “I should have had you all along. You should have had me.”

It had never occurred to you that you could have looked at it this way. You had been happy in heaven. But then again, you hadn’t known what you had been missing. That’s when he slowly inserted one of his fingers into you. The sensation was unusual, but then he curled his digit and you understood.

“Oh god,” you let out when he touched a certain spot inside of you. It felt so right, you wondered why when you were able to feel this way, you should have been abstinent all along.

“Not exactly a good time to bring up god, huh?” he said, teeth nibbling on your neck. You laughed before you could have stopped yourself, and he looked stunned. But then, his lips curled into a malicious and content grin. At the same time, he added another finger into your core. His thumb remained rubbing against your clit, and like last time, you could feel a knot tying in your stomach as time went on. A string of whines and whimpers fell from your lips and your eyes shut tightly. But he decided you’d have to wait longer for your release.

“Do you think you can handle more?” he asked. You sighed when he retracted his hand from your core and watched as he brought his fingers up to his lips to taste you. His gaze didn’t let you decide whether he eyed you like prey or his most treasured thing in the world.

“Yes, I want you to show me,” you said quietly, almost breathless from the sight in front of you.

“Let’s go to the bedroom, then,” he announced. “It’ll be more comfortable for you.”

Your legs felt like jelly as you walked with him. This time, you didn’t hesitate to get onto his black bedsheets. It had become one of your favorite places to be in his apartment by now and the familiarity of it took away some of your nerves.

“I might be a demon, but I promise I can be gentle,” he said. His eyes were probably the most mellow they had ever been since you had met him. Carefully, he helped you slip out of your dress. “So don’t be scared, little angel.”

You had to admit, when he removed his towel from his waist and your eyes fell on his hard member, you weren’t sure if you would be okay. But then he bent down to you and kissed you. His hands softly stroked your cheeks, making it a hard contrast from his devilish image.

“Still sure?” he asked between kisses. It was like he was sucking the fear out of you, although he should have terrified you all along. You nodded and hummed but then changed your voice to a small whimper when he used his hand to run his cock over your slick center. Ever so carefully, he pushed himself inside of you. The stretch was uncomfortable, at first. He must had noticed by reading your face, because his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“It’ll feel better in a bit, I promise,” he said. You relaxed your muscles the moment he kissed you again, his plan of distracting you surely working. When he had completely filled you up, he stayed in place while your tongues touched and you moaned at the feeling. It felt like he had always meant to be there, on top of you, inside of you.

“If you need me to stop or slow down, you’ll tell me, right?” he asked.

“Yes,” you answered. Once again you debated how you ended up this way. In bed with a demon. And said demon had his hooded black eyes on you, while he thrusted into you ever so slowly, and you couldn’t believe how out-of-this-world-perfect he looked. Although you would surely need more time to get used to the feeling, there was a hint of pleasure you felt every time he dragged his cock against your walls and that once special spot he had touched before.

Upon hearing how he moaned for the first time, you realized it wasn’t just touch that could make your stomach clench in a deep desire to be close to him. It sounded animalistic and you kept your eyes on the way his sharp teeth dug into his bottom lip. You sucked in a breath when he caressed your breasts, fingertips toying with your nipples.

“This is the closest to heaven I’ll ever get, right, little angel?” he spoke, and his gloating smile was so wicked, but handsome, right at that moment. You could only hum a ‘yes’. His lips on your neck were gentle, but your head spun whenever his teeth grazed your angel skin.

“You wouldn’t like it there, either way,” you said. His hand snaked down your body, between your legs where you had been missing them. He let out a growl-like moan when you clenched around his cock from the sudden added pleasure. In no time, he found your clit and used his skilled fingers, and he was right, this should have been the definition of heaven.

“And why is that?” he asked. “Because I couldn’t have you this way, in heaven?”

“Exactly,” you whimpered. “Oh- my-“

The desire to close your legs around him became bigger with each second, the knot in your belly tightening and your mind clouding with nothing but bliss.

“Doesn’t matter. You’re my own personal heaven,” he said. His free hand brushed away your hair delicately. “Are you gonna let go for me, sweet angel?”

You weren’t sure how to let go, exactly. But if by that he meant for you to close your eyes and just let the feeling wash over you, you would - without a choice - do so. Your high made your back arch against his chest and a small cry escaped your lips. He pushed his digits down on your center, slower now, but making sure to draw out every last second of your orgasm.

He had been speeding up his thrusts but then he pulled out, not wanting to cause you discomfort due to overstimulation. With his hand around his cock and quick movements of his wrist, he managed to bring on his own release, letting his cum spill out onto your thighs. You didn’t realize you had been holding your breath until you finally opened your eyes again, blinking tiredly and wetting your dry lips. He lowered his head until your foreheads touched. The more you looked into his black eyes, the more at home they made you feel.

“How was that, angel?” he asked, his breathing still unsteady.

“Heavenly,” you replied, pulling him in for a kiss. Even against his lips, you recognized his devilish smirk. And up to that point, you had believed ‘heaven on earth’ was just some silly little human saying. Until he proved you wrong.

[fridayfirefly]

Retirement

Read Retirement on AO3

Masterlist

For Maribat March Day 21 - Domestic Bliss

The first time Marinette and Garfield ever discussed retirement was before they even started dating. For superheroes, retirement was just a fact of life. One day, if you make it long enough, you'll put down the suit and you'll never pick it up again. Maybe someone will take your place. Hopefully, no one will need to. But no matter how strong you are, not even if you're Superman in his prime, the simple fact was that someday you would retire.

"What do you think you'll do after you retire?" Marinette mused to Garfield. Out of all the Titans, Marinette spent the most time around Gar, simply because the two of them spent a lot of time in the living room. Marinette liked the ambient noise that his video games provided when she worked on her projects, and Gar liked to have someone to talk to while he played. Most of Marinette's current focus was on the embroidery in her hands, as she stitched vines running down the sleeves of her shirt, but she still took the time to start a conversation with Gar.

"I dunno..." Gar glanced up from the game he was playing. "What'll you do once you give up being Ladybug."

"That's a tough question. I used to think that I wanted to run a big fashion company, like Agreste Fashion, but now I think I want something a little more low-key. In my ideal future, I own a little boutique where I make custom clothing. There would be a fabric store and a café on the same block as me, and I would never have to leave the neighborhood."

"That sounds nice. I think I might try going to college and see where that takes me. I applied to Jump City University right before Christmas, and they accepted me. If I went, I would start classes in the fall.”

Marinette’s head jerked up as she gave Gar her full, undivided attention. “I’m going to JCU next fall!” she exclaimed excitedly. “We might have classes together. What are you planning on majoring in?”

Gar shrugged, “JCU has a veterinary program that I'm interested in. I'd be taking animal behavior, biology, chemistry, and a whole bunch of other science classes.”

“That’s so cool!”

“It’s nothing much. I didn’t expect them to accept me, anyway.”

Gar seemed oddly subdued about the idea of going to college. He was a naturally enthusiastic person, which made it very out of character for him to be so dismissive. It worried Marinette. “No, you deserve praise for your accomplishment. Jump City University is a very selective school.”

“I’m not a genius. I’m just me.”

“You’re smart, Gar, I know you are. Getting accepted to JCU is just one of the many reasons why you are brilliant.”

“Are you gonna name them all for me?” joked Gar.

His question was rhetorical, just a joke, but Marinette wasn't finished convincing Gar that he deserved all the praise in the world. “For starters, you can finish any video game in less than a day. Even the ones where you need logic and strategy, you fly right through them. Secondly, you’re a genius when it comes to animals. And it’s not just because of your superpower. You taught yourself animal behavior so that you could blend in with the animals you’re imitating. Thirdly, you pretend not to be invested in politics, but I’ve seen how you keep yourself informed about environmental policies and activism. You really care about the planet. Fourthly-“

"Alright, Buginette,” laughed Gar, a slight blush on his cheeks. “You’ve proven your point.”

Marinette set her embroidery down on the coffee table and moved to Gar's couch. "Is this game multiplayer?"

"Yep. Do you want to play a few rounds?"

"Hmm... I think I could spare a few minutes to kick your butt."

"Please. I'm going to squash you like the little bug you are."

"You wish!"

----------

The next time Marinette and Gar discussed retirement was well after they started dating. They got together in their Junior year at JCU after spending two years in relationship limbo, with both too nervous to make the first move. They finally confessed their feelings for each other after Dick and Starfire locked them in a closet together until they admitted that they liked each other. They graduated college as a couple, with Gar planning on attending veterinary school and Marinette planning on starting up her fashion business. That summer they spent a lot of time talking about the future.

"I've been thinking of recruiting someone to take over as Ladybug," remarked Marinette as she cuddled up next to Gar on the couch.

"Really? Who do you have your eye on?" asked Gar.

"Wonder Woman recently took on a new protege, Cassie Sandsmark. The Ladybug Miraculous already has some connections to Wonder Woman and her home of Themyscira. Her mother, Queen Hippolyta, was a wielder of the Ladybug Miraculous for quite some time."

"If you gave up the Miraculous would you still fight crime?"

Marinette shook her head. "I think it might be time to give up crimefighting. It's been ten years since I took up the Ladybug Miraculous to fight Hawkmoth, and six years since Hawkmoth was defeated. I wasn't ready to give up that responsibility then, but I think I'm ready now."

"When would you give up the Miraculous?"

"Soon. I talked to Wonder Woman about it last week and she's enthusiastic about the idea. I would need to spend some time getting to know Cassie, just to make sure she's a good fit, and Tikki would need to vet her as well, but I have a good feeling that she'll pass any tests of character we put her through." Marinette turned to face Gar. "I didn't want to make any concrete decisions before I talked to you. I know that we've always fought crime together, but I'm ready to move on with my life. I'm ready to retire."

Gar nodded. "I understand and I fully support your decision. I've been considering leaving the Titans as well. I know I could continue living in the Tower and attend veterinary school at JCU, but last week I got an acceptance letter from UC Davis for their School of Veterinary Medicine."

Marinette's eyes widened. "Gar, that's amazing! I remember looking into UC Davis when you were applying, and their program is nationally ranked."

Gar grinned. "The best in the country. It's too good to pass up."

"You have to go!" exclaimed Marinette. "This is your dream!"

"I think I'll send in my acceptance tomorrow," decided Gar. "Maybe we can go to Davis this weekend and scout out an apartment."

"And fabric stores," chimed in Marinette.

Gar laughed. "Anything for you, Buginette."

----------

The final time Marinette and Gar discussed retirement was years later. Marinette and Gar had gotten married and had moved back to Jump City. Marinette opened her fashion boutique, which had very quickly exploded in popularity. Gar started working for a non-profit veterinary clinic, which provided free veterinary services to lower-income neighborhoods. They had both achieved their dreams, and yet neither seemed content with their lives.

"Maybe we just need a change of scenery," suggested Marinette, leaning her head against Gar as they both sat on the beach watching the sunset. "I'm so tired of the city."

"Maybe," said Gar. "It would be nice to have a house with a backyard, rather than just an apartment."

Marinette sighed. "I know that I always said that I wanted to be the owner of a successful boutique, but this wasn't really what I had in mind. I'm so busy that I feel like I never get to spend any time with you anymore. Every day my inbox is filled with emails asking me to sell my company or expand to more locations. I'm tired of it. My passion is for making clothes, not running a business."

"I know how you feel. Every day I encounter another neglectful pet owner who brings their animal to the clinic for help but refuses to listen to me when I tell them that they need to change the way they treat their animal. It's exhausting."

"We could both just quit our jobs and move into the woods," joked Marinette.

Gar nodded, but he wasn't joking. "I've actually been thinking about that. There are a lot of remote regions with a real need for veterinary practices to provide medical assistance for the farm animals out there. I would feel a lot more useful taking care of animals that don't have anyone else."

Marinette turned to face Gar. "I wouldn't mind moving. I've been sending all of the offers to buy my boutique straight to my email archive, but I'm sure if I looked through them all I could find someone who would be able to take care of the business aspect of Ladybug Designs. I could retire from the business and design on my own time, when the inspiration strikes, instead of forcing myself to churn out design after design."

"You really wouldn't mind?" asked Gar, a hopeful look on his face.

Marinette shook her head. "I was serious about moving out of the city. There's something I've been wanting to tell you for a while, but I've been waiting for the right moment. I think that moment is now. Gar, I'm pregnant."

The deer-in-the-headlights look on Gar's face was comical, to say the least. Marinette giggled, "Well?"

Gar snapped back to reality, transforming into an elephant, trumpeting his joy. He turned back into himself and wrapped his arms around Marinette. "I'm so happy! This is the best news I could have ever heard, Buginette. Now we have to move. I want our kid to have a backyard and a dog and a big driveway where I can teach them how to ride a bike and a pond where they can swim in the summer-"

Marinette cut Gar off with a kiss. "One thing at a time," she giggled.

"I think this will be the best decision we have ever made," declared Gar.

Marinette agreed. "I think that partial retirement will be good for us."

----------

This was bliss. The feeling of grass under Marinette’s bare feet as she walked back to the house from the lake, hand in hand with Gar. The sound of their daughter's laughter as she danced around them, catching fireflies. The taste of homemade apple pie and vanilla ice cream, eaten rebelliously early as Gar proclaimed, "Dessert before dinner!" The sight of the stars up above them, no light pollution to mask the beauty of the heavens. The sound of Gar's voice, whispering, "I love you, Buginette," into Marinette's ear. And as Marinette settled into her husband's arms, she knew for certain that retirement was the best decision she had ever made.

@maribatmarch-2k21

[multiplefandomfics]

Kidnapped

Pairing: Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Omega!reader

Warnings: Dubcon, smut, A/B/O dynamics, age gap, underage, forcefully induced heat, mind control, hypocrisy, breeding kink, knotting, trauma, hydra

Words: 3615

A/N: Hi guys, so this is my first attempt at ABO. I’ve read a lot of those so I hope I’ll get this right. So don’t be too hard on me. And now enjoy.

Omegas had become almost extinct. More and more kids were born who turned out betas and the rest were almost always alphas. So maybe it is easy to understand that when you turned out to be an omega at the age of 17 your value to your mother suddenly skyrocketed. 

Your other siblings were all betas but you were suddenly special. The first heat your body put you through was a terrible strain on your body and took a lot of strength from you. A whole week was spent in delirium between fever and hallucinations. Your mother, a beta herself, had no idea how to help you and asked your family’s doctor for help.

He was very interested in you and your presentation and handed your mother a number to call. 

A week later two very polite men who looked like they had fallen out of a 1940s crime movie, stood in front of your door. 

“Mrs. Y/L/N? You have contacted us to take a look at your omega daughter?” the taller of the two asked.

“Yes. Please come in. We are in desperate need of advice. Her first heat was so terrible and I don’t know what to do if this gets even worse.” The men followed your mother to the livingroom and took the seats offered to them. 

“Our facility is very well equipped and we are very skilled in dealing with young omegas. We would be able to monitor her closely and give her the right suppressants to quell her natural heats.” one of them explained. 

“So you would take her with you?” your mother sounded sceptical. “Would we be able to see her? And when would she return home?” she asked.

The men shared a glance before continuing “She will be able to call once in a while and we will try our best to get her hormones in check and her home quickly.” the man ensured her. 

Your mother hesitated and the men noticed so they changed their tactic. 

“Mrs. Y/L/N. Your daughter is suffering badly and it will only get worse. We are the only ones who can actually help her. There aren’t a lot of experts in the field of A/B/O dynamics left. We definitely are your best shot. And if it helps to convince you, we can pay you handsomely for taking your daughter and giving her a shot at a normal life. How does 250.000$ sound?” your mother almost choked on her tea. “You want to pay me a quarter million dollars for her? You think I would sell my own daughter?” she was enraged, jumping up from her chair. “I want you to leave my house immediately.”

“Consider our offer for a moment please. We could help your daughter and learn from her case and you could finally sell off the mortgage to this house. We know that if you don’t take our money now you will have to move out soon. Do you want to move into a 3 room apartment with 4 children?” They knew a lot about your family which irritated your mother but she also quickly understood that they were right. 

After your father had died in Afghanistan 3 years ago it had not been easy for your family.

As a single mom of 4 and just a part time job at a dentist's office she worried greatly how to make a future for them. The money from the strange men would take a lot of those worries away from her. 

“Maybe you are right. She will come back to us quickly, right?” she asked to quell her guilty conscience.

“Of course, Mrs Y/L/N. She would be back in no time at all. We are very successful in what we do.” the men knew they had her in their grasp. 

“Alright then. I will go upstairs and explain everything to her and then I think it is best when you take her immediately.” she got up and went upstairs.

A few moments later they heard yelling and then crying from upstairs. But suddenly it was quiet. 

Another few minutes later you stumbled down the stairs, cowering behind your mother who held a duffel bag with some of your clothes and personal things. 

“Hello Y/N. How are you feeling?” the taller man smiled at you.

“I’m okay, thank you. So I will go with you?” she asked back. “And you can help me with my biology?” You seemed very innocent to the men and they were sure that you had no idea what your intended purpose was in this world. 

“Indeed we will make you more comfortable with your presentation. You will be able to return home quickly.” they ensured you too.

“Alright then.” you gave in. “Tell Joe, Lea and Maya that I love them and I will see them soon.” you instructed your mother and she nodded with tears in her eyes.

The men lead you to their car. The whole ride was silent. You looked out the window and saw landscapes passing by. The driver took so many turns that it didn’t take long for you to be completely confused and you had lost your orientation. 

The journey seemed to take forever and at some point you closed your eyes and fell asleep. 

You awoke disoriented and confused. You were laying on a bed in a sterile white room without a window but an adjoined bathroom. You sat up slowly to take in more of your surroundings. When you had decided to venture out further you noticed that the door was locked. You were trapped. Panic rose in your veins. What did that mean? Was this a kidnapping? 

Just when you were about to have a mental breakdown the door was unlocked and a man you had never seen before stepped inside. 

“Hello Miss Y/L/N. How are you feeling?” he asked you.

“Y/N is fine. I’m okay but why was the door locked?” you asked hesitantly.

“We didn’t mean to startle you. It was to your own protection. The compound we are currently in is comparable to a labyrinth. We just didn’t want you to get lost. Someone is going to come by later and give you a tour of the rooms you need to know. I am here to check out your vitals and ask you some questions. Is that alright with you?” He seemed nice enough.

“Ehm, yes it’s alright, I guess.” you sat back down on the bed while he took a seat on a chair. 

“Very well, how long ago was your first heat?” Those kinds of questions seemed very personal but after all they wanted to help you.

“My first heat was about 2 weeks ago. It was awful. Hurt so much and lasted about 6 days.”

“Good, that is interesting information. Have you been intimate with a male before?”

You swallowed thickly “No never.”

“So no potential alpha around?”

“No.”

“Good, good. Is someone in your family an omega?”

“No, I am the only one as far as I know.”

“That is quite rare. Normally this is hereditary. I will take your pulse, blood pressure and temperature now.”

After the doctor had left someone came and took you to a room where you were served some dinner.

The night you spent tossing and turning. So many thoughts coursed through your head until you fell asleep of exhaustion. 

You were rudely awoken by the cold neon lights being turned on. They ripped you out of a nice dream and you inwardly cursed them for it. 

“Good morning Y/N. Did you sleep well?” the voice of a tall blonde female doctor- or agent, or whatever, you were still not sure where these people belonged to- reached your ears.

“Good morning. I had some trouble sleeping. I felt somehow on edge. Probably the new surroundings.” you shrugged.

“That is possible. I need you to get dressed. Breakfast is ready and then we will start with your training and testing of different medications.” she smiled and you did as she asked.

Breakfast consisted of fruit and porridge and then they took you into the opposite direction of your room. 

You were led down multiple corridors until you reached a doctors room. 

“Hello Y/N. Please remove your shirt and lay down.” The doctor said. She was the first person in this organization who smelled different than the others you had met. Everyone else had a neutral scent other than her and it wasn’t a perfume but you couldn’t place it and let it go for now.

“So you are an omega.That’s why they brought you to me. I presented as an omega too when I was 16 years old. My biology dictated my life for years and that’s why I am quite happy that we can make it easier for you before it gets too bad to handle.” that explained the different smell.

“I don’t want to sound rude, but you are not on suppressants right?” she shook her head no. “I thought you smelled different. So that’s one of my superpowers as an omega?” you joked.

“Indeed it is. Do you have any more questions?” she saw your hesitation. “Don’t be shy. You can ask me anything.”

“Ehm… well during my first heat… I felt really hot and I had those very explicit fever dreams and then my body produced this… fluid out of my… ehm… you know.” you pointed toward your groin.

“Yes, I know what you mean. When you are in heat your body longs for a mate. Preferably an alpha to satiate your natural urges. The slick that your body produces is only a natural lubricant to make it easier for the alpha to slide in without hurting you.” she explained.

“So my only purpose in this world is basically to mate and give a few children to some alpha?” you asked unbelievingly.

“Not necessarily. We could find the right meds and suppressants for you and you could live your life alone until you decided it was time for a family or not. Your choice.”

“I like the way that sounds. So when do we start?” you asked exited.

“We will start right now. I am going to administer your first shot of a medication which will make you feel better.” 

She put on some latex gloves and prepared a syringe with a clear fluid.

“Alright, don’t move now please. I will give this right into your upper arm muscle.” said done. It stung a little but if that actually worked it was definitely worth it.

“All done. I will bring you back to your room now. These meds need some time to settle and you might feel a little uncomfortable later.” 

When you had arrived at your room she sent you inside with the words -“Someone will have an eye on you the next few hours. I will see you soon.” and locked the door behind you again. For your own protection they had said…

Before you had time to think about all of this your head hit the pillow and you were fast asleep. 

The next time you woke up you were in terrible pain. Your abdomen was cramping and your throat was bone dry. That could only mean one thing: the heat was back. But that should have been impossible. It wasn’t due for another 2-3 weeks. But here you were, sweating, hurting and in desperate need for something you weren’t ready for.

You didn’t even get the chance to get out of bed before the door flew open and two men grabbed you to pull you behind them. You were too weak to fight them when they pushed you into another cell which looked almost the same as yours. Only in that one someone was waiting for you.

The moment you were pushed into the room his eyes shot toward you, almost hidden under his shoulder long brown hair. His nostrils flared as he took in your potent scent.

“Omega.” he breathed and his pupils dilated.

He looked downright feral so you shrunk into the corner next to the closed and locked door. Though he really tried to hold himself together. You knew that he wanted to give into these primal urges the omega in you tried to push you to, too. 

Suddenly he wiped the hair off of his face and you had a first clear glance at his handsome face. And to your amazement you recognized him from your class trip to the Smithsonian Museum in Washington D.C. the year before. 

His name was James ‘Bucky’ Barnes and he had fought in the 107th infantry in WWII. He had also been Steve Rogers- or as most people know him, Captain America’s- best friend and later part of the Howling Commandos. The only thing that didn’t add up here was the fact that he was supposedly dead since 1943. 

But you were so sure that the man standing before you was not a ghost as much as you were sure that he was not the same man who had gone to war in the 40’s. 

“James?” you whispered. He cocked his head so he must have heard you but he didn’t know what to do with your question.

“You are James Barnes born on March 10th in 1917. You don’t remember?” you asked in a louder voice.

“No.” he tried to sound secure but you could hear his voice slightly wavering. 

You wanted to help him so you took the risk and stepped closer. It might seem strange, standing in front of this intimidating hunk of a man, and feeling safe. The pain in your body had also almost disappeared. 

“What do you remember?” you asked him. He seemed really nervous by now, always trying to scent you.

“Pain. Missions. Training.” was all he said and you felt really bad for him.

“I am sorry to hear that. Do you want me to tell you everything I can remember about you? Maybe you will gain back some memory. And maybe you can tell me who these people are and why they forced me into heat early.” in that moment another terrible cramp invaded your lower abdomen and your legs gave out. But before your body could hit the ground his arms caught you and he carried you to his bed.

“Mhh omega you smell delicious. Can barely hold back.” he mumbled into the crook of your neck and you felt it too. The tall alpha seemed to somehow soothe the ache inside you but it wasn’t enough. 

In that moment you just let the omega in you take over. You started pulling frantically on his and your clothes until they were lying long forgotten on the floor of the dusty room.

“Need you ‘mega. You’re mine.” he growled at the sight of your boobs.

“Alpha please make it stop.” you whimpered and he growled louder at you calling him by his presentation. 

You let your biology completely rule you and followed your instinct. Crawling onto your hands and knees pushing your face into the pillow and your ass in the air. 

“Good omega. Presenting for your alpha.” his approval made you mewl.

He was quick to get behind you. In this state there was no foreplay needed. 

His right hand grabbed your buttcheek. It was soft and warm. When the index finger of his left hand followed your spine from the neck down you shuddered at the cold metal. 

“Tell me ‘mega, have you ever been with an alpha?” he asked while stroking a flesh finger through your glistening folds.

“No alpha. Haven’t been with anyone.” the realisation that you were a virgin let him hesitate for a second.

“Mhh I’m gonna make that virgin pussy feel so good. You want my cock ‘mega?”

“Yes, alpha please. Make the pain stop.” you begged him.

He took that invitation and slowly pushed the head of his massive length against your opening. “Relax ‘mega. I won’t hurt you.” his pressure got harder and then he slid in. The pain was intense for a moment until he slid in further. It felt like your channel was made for him. 

“Fuck doll you’re tight. Squeezing me so good. Gonna breed you ‘mega. You want that? Me filling you with pups.” he groaned and your channel squeezed him tighter in confirmation. 

In that heat of the moment none of you cared that this might be a bad idea.

He sped up his thrusts and your moans got even louder when he hit that magical spot inside you. 

“Feels so good.” you mewled.

“Come ‘mega! Come for me!” he commanded and something that had waited for his okay snapped. Your pussy clamped around him and he pushed in that bit deeper. His knot popped and he filled you with his cum all the while pulling you up with his metal arm across your chest and biting into your neck hard enough to break the skin, laying claim to you.

When you both had come down from your highs he rolled you over to lay on your side. He was still locked snug inside you and that would probably stay like that for a while. 

“You wanted me to tell you why they brought you here. The answer is for this exact cause. They want to keep me- or rather my alpha- in check. And they want to find out if the serum can be inherited.” he suddenly spoke up after a long pause.

“And do you want them to do that?” your question seemed to shock him a little.

“I didn’t expect that question. No one has ever asked me what I thought. And no! If we have pups I don’t want them to be treated the way I was. We would never know what happened to them.” he said sadly.

“Then let’s get out of here.” His knot had finally gotten down which gave you enough room to turn around.

“How? I may be able to vanish on my next mission but I won’t be able to take you with me.”

“Then play the part. They don’t know that you remember who you are. So when you get out of here the next time you get help and get me out later.”

“And who do you think would help me? A murderer.” he let his head hang low. 

“Steve Rogers. He was found a few years ago and has most recently been working with a group of people who call themselves The Avengers. I know you have the possibilities to find Steve and get him onto your side to help. Until then you will have to pretend you are still the brainwashed assassin they created because if they notice you will be put on ice or erased again.”

“I gotta admit that does sound like a plan. I will try everything in my power to succeed. I promise that I will get you out of here. Unscathed. You are my omega now. That means something to me.” he kissed the top of your head. 

“Thank you- Bucky. Is it fine when I call you that while we are alone?”  you asked him.

“Yes sure. I love when you say my name.” and then he gifted you with one of his rare smiles. 

The next few days were spent almost the same way. Until your heat was down. They took him away from you and you didn’t see him for at least 6 weeks. Hard to keep track of time without daylight.

They had brought you back to your room and you didn’t see any of the old doctors you had seen before your forcefully induced heat. They probably thought you would attack them. 

In week 7 they finally found out that their plan had worked. You were indeed pregnant. Oh, how you wanted to tell Bucky but everytime you asked for him they shut you down.

More weeks passed by. They didn’t tell you anything. Not even about the baby. 

By esteemed week 22 you were able to feel the pup kicking in your tummy and you were talking to him or her. You missed Bucky more and more. Up to the point where you thought they had wiped him again and he had failed your mission. 

One night you were awoken by chaos outside your door. Before you could get up the door bust in and in the frame stood Captain America himself. The relief you felt in that moment could hardly be measured. 

“Captain Rogers. I’m so glad to see you.” you expressed your feelings.

“Good to meet you Y/N.” he smiled at you then spoke into the comms inside his ear “I’ve got her. Room 503. She’s fine.” then he came over and insisted on carrying you out of the building. 

Somewhere on the way to the Quinjet you met Bucky again.

“Bucky! You`re alright! Oh, thank God. I missed you. And I’m pregnant. We did it.” you beamed at him.

“You’re alright too. I love you. Let's get you home.” he took you from Steve’s arms and carried you inside the jet.

A few months later you and Bucky moved into an apartment with your son and daughter.

[1-800-imagines]

Summer Love |h.s|

no control part 1

tw: aggressive, douche bf (not harry)

Rowan was more excited for her second year of college at Dartmouth. She had a boyfriend and she was going to be a teaching assistant for English 1301. She had taken the course the year before and loved the professor. Dr. Montgomery had been impressed with Rowan that she had offered her a job for the next year and now Rowan basically was in charge of the class. She lectured, gave tests and quizzes, and graded papers. Dr. Montgomery was just there as a supervisor if Rowan had questions.

She was also excited for her classes because she was now able to take her major related courses. She adored English with her whole heart and now her schedule was full of English classes instead of just the basics. She had her classes that she was taking on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday's. And she taught two English 1301 classes on Tuesday and Thursday back to back.

Rowan was anxious about teaching. She was only 19. Her students would be the same age as her and might be in her other classes. It was the day before classes started and Rowan had moved into her apartment that day. It was a late start but her parents had wanted her home for as much as possible since she didn't come home much during the school year. Boston was only 2 hours away but Rowan didn't have a car.

Carter had helped Rowan move all her stuff in. Her parents had kissed her goodbye and left leaving the couple alone. Rowan flopped on her bed and laid back. She was exhausted from moving all the shit. She wanted a nap, but Carter was on her. "Not now, Cart," She mumbled with her eyes still closed.

"Come on, Ro. I helped you move all your heavy shit in and now you're gonna hold out on me," Carter said, his voice laced with guilt. Rowan sighed, but didn't move.

"No, I'm tired." She opened her eyes to look at him, "I'm sorry. Can't we nap and maybe after?" She asked him.

"God, you're such a bitch, Rowan." He snapped. His sweet attitude from earlier with his parents disappearing. He stood up from her bed and left with a huff, slamming the door. "Don't fucking text me." He yelled and the apartment door slammed again.

Rowan sighed again and shut her eyes. She honestly didn't care enough right now to deal with Carter and his antics. She was too tired. Their summer had been fun, but their relationship relied on sex and whenever Rowan didn't want to, he would get extremely mad and throw a fit. Rowan drifted into sleep without setting an alarm. It was only about 4:30.

——

When Rowan woke up, it was midnight. "Shit," She swore under her breath. She still had a LOT of stuff to do to prepare for classes and meeting with Dr. Montgomery tomorrow. On top of that, she probably wouldn't be able to sleep through the night. She sat up and looked around for her phone. When she turned it on she saw she had about 25 texts from Carter ranging from him being extremely angry to also saying he loved her and he was sorry. Rowan didn't want to deal with it. She plugged her phone into the charger and got up to finish dealing with her shit.

She was done prepping at 3am. And she had her first class at 9. She didn't have a car so she still had to walk to campus but she didn't live far. She was going to leave at 8 so she could pick up breakfast from the coffee stand. So in reality she needed to get up at 6:30 to shower. Rowan groaned thinking about everything and fell back in her bed. She set multiple alarms and fell back asleep.

At 6:30 sharp the alarm clock blared and she sprang out of bed, not wanting to be late. Her anxiety was always the worst on the first day. She actually had diagnosed anxiety and depression. She jumped into the shower to jolt herself awake. Mornings were always the hardest for Ro. She never wanted to get herself out of bed.

She let herself stay in the shower for 30 minutes and then get out and fully get ready. She dried her hair and put on some makeup. Her hair was generally pretty straight and currently was platinum blonde. She was a natural blonde but she liked it platinum best. She pulled on some ripped skinny jeans and a button up. It was 7:45 so she was good on time. She grabbed her vans and backpack and walked out the door, finally answering Carter. She simply just texted him, 'It's fine. See you after classes. R'

Before she shut the door, she yelled at her roommate, "Bye Ari!" Her best friend and roommate didn't have class till later but Rowan liked yelling at her start waking her up. Ari was even less of a morning person than Rowan.

Rowan made the trek to campus and to the coffee stand. She was in line, only kind of paying attention when it was her turn. "Hi, can I get a large double shot of espresso with cream and sugar? And then a bagel with butter?" The cashier nodded and she paid for her breakfast with her cash and change that was left from summer. She had a little bit of money from summer babysitting and knew she had to be careful about spending until the paychecks started rolling in.

Rowan turned on her foot to go wait for her order when she bumped into a very tall man, "Oh shit, I'm sorry." She said, dropping all her money on the floor, "Fuck." She had a major problem with swearing.

The man chuckled and bent down to help her pick up the money, "Don't worry about it, love." He had a thick british accent. He handed her the money and her heart skipped a beat. She realized she was staring and got a hold of herself.

"Thank you! Sorry again." She smiled and went over to wait for her coffee, slightly mortified. Rowan took out her phone to look down and texted Ari. 'I'm the biggest dumbass. I ran into this gorgeous man and dropped my fucking CHANGE at his feet and he picked it up for me and now I'm standing here looking like a fucking DORK'

She knew Ari wouldn't be awake yet, but it was a relief to tell someone even if they wouldn't read it till later.

The mysterious man walked over to wait next to Rowan and Rowan's heart was beating incredibly fast. How did someone have this effect on her? Carter sure didn't. "Rowan!" It snapped her out of her trance. She grabbed her order and awkwardly smiled at the man.

"Have a good day," The man said and Rowan nearly tripped.

"You too!" She said and ran off to try to avoid further embarrassing herself. "Jesus christ, get yourself together Rowan." She swore at herself and went to sit outside her class to eat.

Her first 4 classes went by quickly. She had biology, fiction & poetry, creative writing, and history all back to back. Then she had a break which overlapped with Ari. The two talked about Rowan's embarrassment of the day and Rowan saluted her and went to the class she was most excited about: Shakespeare's Greatest Works. It was taught by a new Professor.

She walked into class before it started and sat in the second row. She took out her notebook for that class and waited for class to start. On the dot of the hour, the door opened and Rowan gasped.

"Oh fuck me." She said a little bit too loudly. It caught the professor's attention and he smirked at her, giving her a little grin. It was the man from earlier.

"Alright class, I'm Professor Styles. Nice to meet you all." Rowan's heart nearly fell out of her chest.

[tundrainafrica]

Title: Lovebug (3/10)

Summary:  

“It might be a bug.”

“A bug?”

“Sometimes the developers of this application make mistakes. This is our first time meeting I’m sure so…Isn’t it a bit weird that we just met for the first time and it rings like this? And for two strangers to coincidentally ring each other’s alarms?“

Levi is the developer of the Love Alarm App and Hange is married to Zeke.

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Other Chapters: 1 2 4 5

Notes: So I was really planning on my posting the next chapter tonight and wahhhh right on time @renrampant posted this beautiful piece of art inspired by lovebug. I hope this chapter satisfies <3. I hope the zekehan kiss which will be coming in a chapter or two does justice to the art too.

Levi was a man of his word and he always had been. The night he created his tinder profile, such a penchant had turned out to be more than just an inconvenient truth.

Something so ideally simple as to create a tinder profile, shouldn’t have taken him more than a few hours. Yet, Levi found himself searching, grappling for the right words to say, finding some way to make himself more attractive than he actually was. It turned out with his own meagre attributes, drawing the right person was an altogether daunting task.

Maybe he was overthinking that night. Overthinking had been enough though to leave him exhausted, retiring for the night even before he even noticed he had forgotten to place the phone by his bedside.

When he came into his senses again, sunlight was streaming through the room, turning even the dimmest corners a little less black and a little more gray. The phone was a warm heavy weight vibrating on his chest.

He had to leave for the office soon.

His sleeping schedule only provided him a generous hour and a half to shower and to commute. Frustration at not being able to complete his bio the night before had him sluggish. It had him unwillingly reaching towards the back of his mind as he showered, as he shaved and pulled his light sweater on.

He considered extirpating that nagging thought. All you have to do is put a bio right? Levi thought to himself as he made his way to the subway station. He memorized the way to work like the back of his hand, all the way until the train platform He took the risk of walking straight ahead, eyes completely glued to the screen in front of him.

How it had taken him so much focus to decide on a bio. How it had taken him so much energy and thought. He didn’t know.

Levi though was a man of his word and thus, he had ended up clicking save after typing only a few simple straightforward words.

'Currently software testing. If interested, please swipe right.’

***

“So Levi, you’re a software tester?”

Levi found himself stifling a surprise snort at that question. The sound had come out as something he managed to disguise as a clearing of his throat. Hopefully it worked.

They had just settled on one of the corner seats of a chain coffee shop, a conservative choice for a first date. That is, if he were planning on impressing her. The date felt more like an obligation than an actual passion project. And obligations always had Levi’s mind running on overdrive, even with things as simple as ice breakers.

He didn’t expect that to have been the first line of conversation. He didn’t even know how to pronounce her name yet. The woman was looking expectantly though, bending a little forward. Whether she had been feigning interest or whether she had been genuinely interested, Levi couldn’t really tell.

Technically he tested software for a living and he didn’t need to really expose himself as the head engineer of the software so he settled for a nod.

“Oh, what kind of software do you test?” The woman in front of him pressed.

Levi snuck a glance at his phone under the table. Lynn. But was it pronounced ‘lint?’ Or was it pronounced ‘line?’

He was overthinking again. But when the woman had pronounced his own name correctly, it seemed almost criminal to have to mispronounce her name. Maybe he could table that question for a while.

Or never go on a date with her again. Levi thought to himself as he looked back up at her with the most casual face he could muster. “I test biology related software,” he answered. He purposely kept it vague. He had to note she was also a love alarm user. She had mentioned that part in her bio. Bringing it up in a conversation though was another issue altogether. If he brought it up, she might ask. If the conversation continued, she might ask more.

Did he want to expose then that he was the one who had designed the actual application?

“Biology sounds very interesting,” she commented. She didn’t seem interested in Biology though.

Not as interested as Hange. That quick comparison came like an uninvited visitor and Levi found himself just slapping the phone on top of the table on impulse. The clack of the phone on the table, the metal on hardwood rattled him enough to drive those thoughts away.

Lynn jumped in surprise. “Are you okay?” she asked.

Levi felt the blood rush to his face. When he was thinking longingly about someone married, and comparing her to Lynn, his date for the day, blushing seemed like an almost welcome sensation. “I heard you use the love alarm,” Levi started. When he was already making a fool of himself, might as well go straight to the point.

“You would like to check if we’re attracted to each other huh?” She asked. “But I don’t think we’d find out by the first date…”

“I said on my profile, I wanted to test a software so that’s why I’m here now actually.” Those words forced themselves out of Levi and they came out as a disturbed flow, as guttural sounds that burned in his throat. In the end, the honest man inside him prevailed.

“Test?” Lynn had been nice enough at least to mirror him and put her phone on the table. “You wanna test the love alarm now?”

Levi nodded as he fixed his eyes on the screen in front of him. He was familiar enough with the banner in the front of the screen to know with just a quick glance. The love alarm was active.

He didn’t have to open the application or pull down the banner to know the result. He was all too familiar with how the application would work even when placed on silent mode. The banner should at least appear, with the words ‘Someone nearby is in love with you.’

If there were at least two people around them then, if somebody else rang it, Levi would have been compelled to check. Both applications were void of hearts though. Levi closed the application and pocketed his phone. “It looks like we aren’t attracted to each other.” He only realized as those words escaped from his lips, how awkward or maybe how rude of a comment it came out as.

Lynn’s eyes were wide for a second before she furrowed her brows, framing those brown eyes. “Of course, we just met. I think attraction is something that can be built over time right?” Lynn answered.

“You’re not wrong,” Levi said. Really, he didn’t even believe he could be someone who could rattle off facts about love. Hange had said it herself, he was a little inexperienced.

He wanted to be right about it though. He wanted to believe attraction could be built over time. By extension, he wanted to hold on to the possibility that attraction could also dissipate into apathy. After all, all those emotions should have been in the same ballpark.

“So what do you think?” Lynn asked. She had said some words before that but maybe Levi had reflected too deeply to have processed anything more than the face of the woman before him.

If he blinked and squinted a little afterward, he could pretend that same wavy brown hair was Hange’s. Hange’s hair though was a little shorter and a little messier and when bright light shone at it from certain angles, it came off as a little red. Hange’s eyes were a little bigger and her face was a little rounder.

Lynn was just too different from Hange to ever be Hange.

When Levi let his vision blur though, let it focus on her features slowly then all at once, he could play pretend. When looking from his peripherals, settling for blurs instead of clear pictures, he could pretend the brown hair was Hange’s, the waves that fell on her shoulders as just another layer.

He didn’t even notice it, even after they had split the bill and when she turned down his half hearted offer to take her home. That was until her last greeting came out as they parted ways along the main street that led up to the train station.

Her last greeting was a long way off from a conventional goodbye but it had done its job to get Levi’s attention.

“By the way Levi, my name isn’t Hange.” She unmatched him on tinder after that.

***

Levi decided to put a small note under his name.

Software Engineer. Currently testing software. If interested please swipe right.

It turned out though, there were people who never read bios. “So, what do you do for a living?” The woman in front of him asked. His case in point.

Hange likes reading. An invasive thought tore through him then and Levi wondered how that could have ever been related to the situation at hand.

When he questioned himself, he found out why he even reflected on it in the first place. Right, since Hange likes reading, she wouldn’t have overlooked my bio if she found me on tinder.

Of course, she wouldn’t have tinder. Levi took a deep breath then, reminding himself for the nth time that he was going to have to settle for people who weren’t married to billionaire business tycoons.

He was going to have to settle for people who weren’t Hange.

But he didn’t have to settle for her either. She was underwhelmed yet underwhelming at the same time and Levi was starting to miss Lynn already as the more desirable option.

He quickly shook his head. You don’t have to see any of these people again. All you have to do is turn the love alarm on and watch it ring. But he was feeling so underwhelmed, so disappointed with the turn out of the date in front of him just minutes into meeting her. He had entertained just the thought of cancelling their food there, the only thing stopping him being the wasted food and the poor waitress who would have to clean the mess. So he decided he could at least stay long enough to at least try.

“So, have you heard of the love alarm Nanaba?” Levi asked. He may have put just a little more emphasis in her name. After all, he didn’t want the Lynn-Hange incident happening again.

“Of course, who hasn’t learned about the love alarm app? Actually I have it with me right now.” Nanaba pulled out her phone and dropped it in front of him.

Ten years of hard and stressful work made Levi immune to even the slightest compliments. “You wanna do some testing?” He asked. “Don’t you want to see if we’re compatible?”

Compatible. That was a complex word and Levi started to doubt the applicability of that application in determining compatibility. It was a love alarm, not a compatibility alarm.

Nanaba grinned. “Sure but I have to tell you, I don’t think it actually works.”

Levi raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. He hoped it seemed genuine though. “Really?” When he momentarily thought back to the numerous support tickets logged just within the past two weeks thought, his expression may have turned just a little genuine. It was a mess of an application after all.

“I’ve been using it for a few months already... And it hasn’t rung, not even once. .”

Maybe nobody likes you. Levi had some ironclad rules about testing, always start with user errors, not with application errors and that had him instinctively blaming her but he had to note, most people had one to two matches, Nanaba didn’t look particularly unlikeable either. Just with the thought of statistics, it should have at least rung once if she kept it on regularly.

Levi quickly switched from his engineering hat to his much more empathetic yet still very shitty customer service persona. “Maybe you just haven’t found the one who could ring it for you?” The words tasted so sweet they almost instantly clabbered into sour milk in his mouth. He felt like he was in some sappy Korean drama.

“Well, it rang with my friend Mike once but we don’t see each other that way…”

“Oh, really? Then why did you say it’s broken?”

“Because it rang with my best friend and that doesn’t count...” Nanaba wanted to say more. It was all over her face and her tone.

Levi was in no mood though to play love counselor. But he wasn’t an asshole enough to cancel the food and ditch a seemingly sad woman either. The food came at the right time when Levi was entertaining the prospect of just leaving.

Nanaba looked very much in the mood to speak, speak about something a little more emotional, a little more serious than hobbies and Levi found himself hesitant to force the conversation elsewhere.

Levi came out of that date with no second date, no results. Nanaba on the other hand came out of that date with new found confidence to confess her feelings to her long time best friend.

By the time they had exited the shop, Levi was already swiping again, grumbling obscenities about how testing wasn’t supposed to be that hard.

***

“Rico Brzenska,” Levi said. There were only too many ways to mispronounce ‘Rico.’ Still, two failed dates had him careful about names already. “So what do you do for a living?” And careful about other things as well.

“I’m a student.”

Levi almost spit his tea out at that. He should have been more careful. He had read her bio, she had mentioned something about a love alarm app and that had him swiping right already. He was sure if he had seen any indication of a minor, he would have swiped left. “Really? What kind of student?” He asked, having gone subtly for his phone and pushing it further under the table.

“A graduate student taking business and commerce.”

Levi only had to take a quick glance at his settings to be sure, there were no chances of him dating a minor, as long as nobody was lying about their age on tinder. Being an honest man though, Levi had a harder time looking through white lies.

Such awareness had him studying her round face, her large blue eyes for a little longer. She could have been a minor. Or he could just be paranoid.

But when dating a minor could actually mean jail time, Levi didn’t want to take any chances. “Do you have any ID on you?”

“ID?” Rico frowned. “Why would you need an ID?”

“You said in your bio you wanted to test the love alarm right?”

Rico nodded. “Yes, I just wanna make sure before I start dating someone, we already have the initial attraction. I don’t wanna waste my time with people who aren’t attracted to me or I’m not attracted to, if you get what I mean?”

In response, Levi hummed in understanding. He did get what she meant. The last thing he wanted to do though was inadvertently ring the love alarm of someone a good many years younger than him and risk jail time. He probably wouldn’t ring it anyway.

But just in case. Levi put his phone out on the table, leaving one hand outstretched as if to wait for an ID.

No ID. No Love Alarm. He was sure that was the sign he was giving.

"Wait you don't think I'm off age do you? You think I'm lying on my profile?"

"No, I don't think you are," Levi said. Maybe his expression betrayed his words.

Rico eventually let go of an ID, a school ID from a familiar university logo Levi was sure he had seen a few times. And her face then had been one of pure irritation and maybe a hint of fury.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "There? Legal enough for you?"

Still a student, still too young to be engaging in anything with an older man, at least by Levi's standards. Still, he found himself almost obligated to just test the alarm in front of her.

Rico didn't look happy at all to be heavily scrutinized, or doubted. When she activated her application, Levi saw it as a cue to activate his own.

All you have to do is press the button. Levi told himself. He knew it wouldn't ring. He felt no attraction to her but paranoia had his brain going in all sorts of directions at once. Maybe the blood that rushed through his cheeks then was love. Maybe his hands shaking then were nervousness and excitement at meeting one's destined partner.

Also Rico wore glasses. For some reason, that had him thinking back to someone else with glasses, he wondered for a second if her eyes were much larger without those on. And he wondered if it was similar for Hange.

How such a long train of thought could have occupied him in such a short frame of time, interrupted by a quick sleight of hand, Levi didn't know.

But it had ended so abruptly, almost violently with the familiar cacophony of two love alarms ringing at once.

For a second, Levi sat frozen on the table as his mind went ahead, racing over theories and potential testing methods to deduce the root behind the outcome.

Do I have a glasses kink? That had been Levi's first thought. He looked down at his own phone to see the one heart and the bright message on top.

One person nearby is in love with you.

His second thought had been a little more objective. It's a bug. He told himself. I'll just have to do further testing.

Rico’s eyes were wide in shock. For a few seconds or so, she struggled to move and he couldn’t blame her. After all, the ringing of multiple love alarms in such a silent place like a cafe on a weekday morning was a scene that definitely had the potential to catch some people’s attention.

Levi couldn’t be too sure. He didn’t want to survey his surroundings either so he narrowed his view to just his own love alarm and back at Rico. The latter went for her phone.

From his own angle, Levi couldn’t see her interface but he was familiar with the way she had swiped it, to know she had turned it off. The two love alarms continued to ring in the silence. Even with the tension and awkwardness so thick that made it difficult to slog through, his brain was still moving.

He was blessed with at least enough deduction skills to quickly figure it out for himself.

He was in love with someone else in the room. But who? He surveyed his surroundings, keeping his view closed to only one person at a time. That gave him enough time to brush away the rest of the stares that surfaced from having made such a scene with the harsh ring of the love alarm.

Only after scanning for a second longer did his spatial awareness catch up to him. The other ringing was coming from behind. Levi turned behind him, quickly enough to catch the mop of chestnut brown hair. Fortunately, he had been slow and careful enough to pull away at the last second, missing her forehead by a hair’s breadth.

“Watch where you’re fucking going!” That had been Levi’s first instinct. After all, he was still seeing red, just imagining their heads slamming into each other in the middle of a very silent cafe.

The brunette in front of him, put one finger to her masked mouth, pointing at one of the old fashioned signs just above her seat.

In silence, there is eloquence. It read.

Hange was a very eloquent person. Levi had read enough messages from her and stalked enough of her works to know that much. Any other day, maybe any other minute, he would have been happy to listen, learn a thing or two from the master of diplomacy.

But Hange had virtually come out of nowhere. In the middle of a date.

Giving her a onceover though, noting her masked face. The only two things that made her recognizable then was her mop of brown hair tied in a ponytail and her masked mouth. Still, that had been more than enough for Levi to have seen through it.

She had settled on the seat behind him. The way she looked back at him and the way she had seemed a little too relaxed with a half finished cup of coffee just in front of her, Levi was sure she had been there for a while.

How much did she hear? Levi couldn’t ask just yet. The alarms were still ringing and as soon as Levi turned it off on his end, it stopped. Yet people continued to stare. More importantly, Rico was still staring from behind him.

“Do you two know each other?” She asked.

The answer didn’t come as quickly for Levi as he would have wanted it too. They knew each other, they’ve met at least twice. They’ve eaten out together once. But technically, did it count as ‘knew?’ Did Hange feel the same way?”

“We’re colleagues, working on the same project,” Hange answered for him.

Levi almost instantly realized he liked that answer. Colleagues. It was definitely more intimate than ‘knew each other.’ While at the same time, it held more respect in one’s skills and talent than the word ‘friends.’ And it implied in its own little way that Hange cared about the project just as much as he did.

It had been difficult to muster a straight face then. Still, he pushed forward, nodding when he struggled to stifle the motions of his mouth and the blood that rushed to his face then.

“But the… the love alarm… it…” Rico continued to speak. She shifted her eyes quickly between both Levi and Hange. “And you…” Her eyes fixed on Hange then.

Levi followed her eyes instinctively. Did Rico recognize Hange? He couldn’t confirm it for himself. Soon after that, Rico didn’t say anything in response. Instead she blinked back surprise. She started to clean out her things and place them into her bag.

“Wait, you’re leaving?” Levi wanted to pull her back. For a split second, he had reached out his hand, grasping his hand before pulling quickly back. He didn’t mind losing the chance at a second date. Just the thought of putting someone in such a tight and uncomfortable position had his stomach turning. He couldn’t for the life of him tell what she was thinking but he at least felt the tension.

Rico didn't have the most eloquent response either. “Sorry about this… I guess on my end it just feels wrong meddling in somebody else’s relationship… I don’t wanna be the one who’d stop people from getting together.”

Levi was quick to understand though. His thoughts flew back to Nanaba just a date ago and the long one sided counseling session which consisted of Nanaba’s long drawn monologues and Levi’s own grunts of understanding. The date which eventually ended with Nanaba finally figuring out for herself the best course of action.

You know, you’re right, Both of our love alarms rang. And that’s the whole point of this app right? If they both ring, it’s a sign, we should act on it.

And that was the whole point of the love alarm. How many times had he reviewed marketing material, love story commercials which ended with that same message?

Levi opened his mouth ready to speak up. By then, Rico was already out the door, any evidence of her presence just a second ago disappearing within seconds of her leaving. The chimes by the store entrance gradually slowed to a weak dance, the people who watched her leave eventually fell back to whatever they were doing beforehand, and Levi’s own protests had deadened into a light whisper.

It’s a bug. Besides, she’s married. The words had settled in his tongue like a familiar friend and he was sure if given the chance, he would have managed to say it loud and clear.

Levi looked back in his phone to see Rico had unmatched him, just a little too quickly.

“I think we should get that bug fixed soon,” Hange whispered. She sounded like she was stifling a laugh.

"For someone who's worried about the bug, you looked like you had a swell time ringing our alarms just a while ago," Levi said bitterly.

"Zeke's on a business trip and I'm bored and lonely."

“Well, don't take it out on me.” Levi took out his wallet and dropped the cash by the side of his drink, counting enough to pay for Rico’s drink too. He didn’t think too much about the receipt or the change.

The murmurs around him were more than enough to have him hurrying out of the cafe. Did they recognize Hange?

He thought it an appropriate time to satisfy his curiosity when they were both a good distance from the shop. “Do you think people recognize you as Zeke Jaeger’s partner?”

Hange put one finger to her mask. “I saw you outside the shop and when I thought of ringing your love alarm, I did what I could to prepare." Her eyes were still smiling though and Levi was sure there was a laugh behind that mask. "Besides, even though most people recognize Zeke, I don't think they'd notice me. I don’t join the interviews or events as much as he does,” Hange said.

Levi noticed though that Hange was the type to just get lost in her surroundings. Ort hat was at least what Levi had picked up on her the first few times they have gone together. She quickly relaxed after that short and quick question and answer, and in the way that she navigated through the crowds a little too clumsily yet a little too playfully, Levi found evidence backing up his mini theory.

Even if anybody did recognize her, she probably wouldn’t have noticed. And that little realization had made it much harder for Levi to stomach what just happened in the cafe. They needed to get the bug fixed fast. “Let’s go back to the office, maybe do some more testing.”

“Isn’t that why we’re here now?” Hange asked, pointing towards the general direction of their building. “I visited your office this morning because I didn't have much to doand I thought I could be helpful. You weren’t there so I asked around and one of the people from the support team told me you were out. She said probably in your favorite tea shop.”

“You met Petra?” Levi asked. “Redhead? Short?” He soon added, noting her confused expression.

Hange snapped her fingers. “Yes, that’s her name.”

“Yeah, she knows my favorite tea shop. Gets me my favorite mix of tea leaves every year for Christmas,” Levi said, more to fill the air with at least some conversation on the way back.

It took Levi a while to notice Hange had peeked at his face even as he averted his gaze, looking elsewhere.

She spoke up. “Say… Have you ever tried testing your love alarm on her?”

***

Petra was one of the newer employees, a little shy but particularly mature for her age. She was notably competent and had a particularly better handle of her emotions than most of the other colleagues. Her most important asset had been her level headedness even under the pressure of scrutiny. Petra was the type of person to know when she was attracted to someone and she was the type of person to admit it for the sake of a smoother testing process.

Thus, she was one of Levi's favorite volunteers when testing the love alarm.

And Levi was sure, to some degree she could have liked him. If he were to consider her words as truth, and the hearts at the bottom of the screen as some indication.

When they were testing every release on fifty employees over a one week period, putting results side by side with checklists and biometrics tests, they were as thorough as it could be. It was always the case that when it was the two of them testing with each other, Levi’s love alarm always rang, Petra’s didn’t. Every single time, Petra would tag that instance as ‘QA passed.’

It could have been a placebo effect or it could have also been just an admittance to get the testing process done just a little faster but Petra never seemed like the type, breezing through the awkward scenes that came with testing a love application like they were part of a job. If it ever bothered her, she never showed it.  

Levi’s alarm never rang in any of the tests he had ever taken anyway. When he double checked though, lining up the results side by side with checklists of what to look out for when one was in love, he found that it never had been a big deal. He had never been attracted to anyone in particular anyway.

“So, I’m the only one your love alarm rang with huh?” Hange asked.

Except maybe Hange.“Yeah, when doing QA work, I’ve had to test with the other employees and it never rang with any of them,” Levi admitted.

“How does QA work?”

“We test with employees, users… All on a volunteer basis if I may clarify.” Levi added that last part for just a touch of professionalism. “We have acceptable ranges for biometrics, checklists and we have a certain number of results which need to fit there to consider a release viable.”

“Why don’t we test using the QA procedure?”

“Because the QA process is a logistical nightmare. We plan a venue. We plan a schedule and we have to get a certain number of people to show up.”

“No, I meant… What if we try it, just the two of us. We answer the checklists, we take each other's biometrics and see if that falls in the exact range for ‘love'?” Hange suggested and her excitable tone only made it seem like she was suggesting something almost revolutionary.

Levi sighed. “I’d rather we use QA testing as a last resort.”

Hange’s face fell. “Why?”

“Because.”

“Because?”

“Because…” Levi would have liked to leave it at that. As he looked at Hange who had leaned on the wall, crossing her arms and staring back at him expectantly, he remembered, it was a professional relationship. If the partner of their very important investor demanded answers, she would get answers so he settled for something seemingly acceptable yet very pathetic in the grand scheme of things. “We’re going to have to answer standardized psychology quizzes and take some physical tests.”

“And I’m sure you’d have a few samples lying around. Let’s see what information we can get,” Hange said.

There were other reasons Levi had been hesitant to suggest such an exam in the first place. It had been difficult to grasp for the exact reasons until they arrived in the conference room Levi had reserved.

The room was a vacuum that had the special power of just drowning out voices, footsteps from just outside the hallway. The tables were empty, the white board put away towards the side of the room. It was clean, empty, void of any presence or even trace of it. It made Levi just a little more painfully aware of his heartbeat, his moist palms and his wild uncoordinated breathing.

He might just fail the physical exam. More specifically, he might just fail if he took it then, at the exact moment.

Grasping for some win, or at the least some comfort in that situation, he had half the mind to run through the ‘Am I in love?’ checklist or at least what he remembered from it. If he were a little honest, there might have been some things he would have checked.

But it didn’t mean he would fail it right?

“What do you think?” Hange pressed. She had settled for one of the chairs in the room.

Levi had answers, but he couldn’t share it just yet. Inviting her to take that meant that he was entertaining the prospect that they might just be in love with her---a cursed prospect.

“Or do you have any other ideas?” Hange asked. She cocked her head to one side in thought.

“If you give me a little more time to come up with something…” Levi said.

“Petra told me you have a week or two before they release the next fix. You’ve done most of the coding work. You just need to fix this bug right?” Hange was very talkative. It turned out Petra had been just a little talkative too with the right prodding by Hange. “Why don’t you wanna just test it now?” Hange's face darkened then to something almost threatening.

And maybe Levi was a little intimidated. He quickly turned away, unable to control whatever expression would force itself out of him then.

“Levi?” Her voice was grating. The echoing in the room didn’t do much to help alleviate it. “Come on, please? I want this investment as much as you do.”

If the partner of their very important investor demanded answers, she would get answers.

But it didn’t have to be the correct answers. “Fine,” Levi said. “You know, maybe the way we test this application… the way we test for love might actually be flawed so maybe some feedback from a researcher like you could be useful.”

Hange grinned from ear to ear, the ominous face of a while ago just a memory Levi could probably forget. “So where do we start?”

***

Testing for the biological numbers was quick with the right tools.

Heart rate. Hormone levels. Stress Levels. Pain Sensitivity. They had all the right test kits on hand with a document detailing the acceptable range.

All reasonable levels, albeit a little too far from the midpoint that Levi held on to the possibility that maybe they could log it all in as some coincidence. The checklists were just a little more difficult and maybe Levi was just thinking a little too far off that he had started to have a mini identity crisis.

I think about my partner a few times a day.

Partner: Referring to the person one tests the application with. Levi was aware of that much having tested the application long before. Yet for some reason, he had to loudly remind himself of that, even within the confines of his mind.

He entertained hypotheses. If Hange were his partner, that would be polyamory and that could even start the scandal of the year, or even the decade. He didn’t want to be part of that.

So he ticked ‘never’ because technically Hange wasn’t his partner anyway.

I want to be with my partner everyday.

Hange was Zeke's partner. Just the idea of getting in between a married couple had Levi's stomach turning and it had been easy to tick never right next to it.

My partner trusts me.

It was too early to tell, or so that was what Levi told himself then.

The word ‘partner’ had been a convenient term. Zeke had been a convenient presence in his mind. And that had him ticking all the 'nevers' towards the edge of the page just a little more confidently.

Technically, Hange wasn’t his partner. Technically they just met, so words like trust, amicability, happiness, charisma, compatibility and charm, didn’t have to apply to them just yet. A few minutes later, he had checked enough ‘nevers’ to have armed himself with the confidence to look her in the eye.

Hange though wasn’t reciprocating, looking deep in thought with whatever question she had been answering. She bit her lip.

Hange eventually met his gaze. Instead of being just a little more satisfied, Levi was a little disappointed, more in himself than in anyone else. For that few seconds that Hange bit her lower lip in thought, her cheekbones had seemed fuller, her hazel eyes held an almost imperceptible yet still very enthralling glimmer, and regretfully, he didn’t take the time to relish it when it was right in front of him.

“How’s the test?” Levi asked.

“It’s fine,” Hange said.

Levi slid his own answers towards her. “We just have to calculate the number of ‘always,’ the number of 'sometimes,' the number of ‘nevers’ and just match it on the document over here.” He turned his laptop towards her.

“I can do it,” Hange said, pulling the laptop towards herself. The next few minutes passed in silence. Levi stared at the ceiling, trying to keep his heartbeat in time with the clack of the keyboard. Hange typed fast and chaotically but in a way, there was rhythm and order and that had helped him get into a position where he could just drop his shoulders and fall back on the chair behind him.

“You don’t think I trust you?” Hange asked.

“It’s too early to tell right?” Levi said. That answer had been scripted and it slipped out of his mouth easily.

Hange’s let out a light sound, a cross between with a hum and a chuckle. “Well, to tell you the truth, I put here that I didn’t trust you either.”

“Well that makes both of us, I guess,” Levi said.

Hange continued to type, filling the room with some predictable rhythm, a predictable rhythm his own wild heartbeat failed to provide. Eventually, it stopped, with one loud clack on the ‘enter’ button or at least, Levi guessed it was the enter button.

Soon after, Hange leaned back on the backrest of her own chair. “Biometrics all fall in the acceptable range. Test results all fall in the unacceptable range,” she said, her tone unreadable. Too professional but Levi surmised it could be her usual ‘research’ tone. He hadn’t known her long enough to be certain.

“Maybe we should get to know each other first and try to answer again?” Hange suggested. “We just met so I can’t fully trust you yet but I think, we could get along with the right…”

Environment? Amount of time? Mutual Processing? Levi couldn’t be too sure of the answer. She had said something else after the word ‘right’ or maybe she didn’t. Still, there was a problem that needed to be solved, there was an issue that needed to be addressed that extended beyond the need to resolve the feelings between two strangers.

Or two colleagues. Levi decided he liked the word colleagues better. “So what do you suggest Hange?” Levi asked.

“I wanna do further research with this application. We can tweak whatever processes you’re using now to QA, whatever processes you’re using to determine whether people are in love. Maybe we just have to fix that a bit.”

“This application took years to develop. It’s gonna be difficult to overturn a lot of the processes.”

“Without the right funding…” Hange said. She wagged her finger and gave Levi a knowing look.

Levi narrowed his eyes accusingly at Hange. “So how’s convincing Zeke been going?”

“That’s the caveat,” Hange said. “He’s not a very techy guy. He’s an investor and scientist more than anything and sometimes, even with the right proposition, he’ll stick to some really weird reasons why he wouldn’t invest in something. I don’t blame him though since millions of dollars are usually on the line with each investment.”

" So, I’m guessing you tried to convince him?”

Hange nodded. “I did. And it looks like he won’t budge unless you fix that ‘bug.’”

“The bug which caused his love alarm to not ring around you?” And the bug which is causing our love alarms to ring. Levi added silently to himself. “Can you explain to him that we need the money to continue improving the system?”

“I’ve been with him for years, Levi. I know how he is.”

“So what do you suggest we do?”

Hange hummed. “I don’t know how programming works but...Maybe you can program the application to make it work just the way that Zeke likes it... For the time being?”

***

No. Just no.

Those were the words written all over Petra’s expression. Levi only had to look at the other faces around him to be very much sure, everyone agreed with Petra

For posterity’s sake, he repeated those words. “I understand that the regression test is done but unless I am able to get to the bottom of this bug, we won’t be able to release the fixes,” Levi said. He kept his words soft, yet still loud enough to echo through the conference room. He said it slowly and clearly. Just in case it was a bit harder to hear through shock and surprise.

“Sir, a lot of the fixes in this release have been promised for months,” Petra argued. The professionalism in her voice was still admirably apparent.

“Erwin’s orders. I’m just repeating them now,” Levi said.

“Is there anything we can do to help?” Gunther asked. “Have you found the reason behind it? I’m guessing if you do… we might have to make some changes to the code and go through regression testing again.”

“If ever that happens, I’ll handle the testing on my end,” Levi said. “It wouldn't be too hard, it’s just a blip in the code.”

“So you’ve found the cause?” Eld asked.

“Yes.” If Levi didn’t open his mouth to speak then, he was sure no one would have for the next few minutes. There was something festering in the silence, some common sentiment that he sensed among them, among those doubtful faces tinged with irritation and confusion.

He had always told them before. Always assume a user error first. And there was an apparent user error which he was sure everyone was entertaining.

What if Hange just didn’t love Zeke? A prospect that was ambrosia to Levi’s lips but at the same time a piece of ambrosia that he was sure was laced with poison. He couldn’t chew it, he couldn’t swallow for fear of just letting go for a few seconds longer, letting a smile curl up his lips during the most inopportune times.

Levi turned to Oluo in particular who he guessed would have been the one most likely to bring it up. The latter remained begrudgingly silent. It looked like no one else wanted to bring it up either. After all, Zeke was a huge opportunity for company growth, a huge opportunity for investment.

Eld spoke up.“If there’s anything we can do, just please ask. It might be too difficult of an investigation to do for one person.”

Levi shook his head. “I think this is an investigation I’d rather do alone.” There were parts of the investigation he hadn’t admitted to the team yet. All they had gotten in the report from Erwin was that Zeke’s alarm didn’t ring with Hange there but the scandal of their alarms ringing together was something he didn’t want circulating around the building.

And more importantly, there was another plan he and Hange have been entertaining, an almost unscrupulous scheme and he didn’t want anyone else involved.

***

It felt like he had run a marathon and he had been doing that slow jog for at least three days already. Or maybe it felt like he was trudging through a dessert and had been trapped there for the past three days.

He couldn’t tell for sure but his throat was constantly dry, his heart was constantly beating fast and any notification from Hange was either a water break or an oasis.

Three days ago, Zeke came back from his business trip. Four days ago, Levi sent the apk file to Hange.

“It’s a test build,” Levi said as soon as she confirmed she received it. “A test build I hard coded just for Zeke’s use.”

“Meaning…”

“Just say it’s a test build. Say I’ve fixed the code.”

“Meaning…”

“I hardcoded his data and the expected result. If he opens the alarm around you, his phone will ring," Levi explained. "It’s just a quick fix for now.”

Just a quick fix. Levi told himself multiple times. He had changed the code drastically enough though that the love alarm wouldn’t work as an expected love alarm, having customized it just to fit Zeke’s desires. For just long enough to get the money and long enough to find the actual cause of the bug.

“And tell him we’re asking for feedback before we release it,” Levi had added then.

The last time he had met her was three days ago when he dropped her the file, explained its use and when she had promised to download the apk file to Zeke’s phone.

She sent intermittent updates over the four day period. He liked it. He was enjoying it. He had confidence in the application.

Levi had to ruefully note though that the conversation never strayed too much from work. As expected from colleagues, as expected from business partners working towards the same goal.

Maybe a few times he had asked some vague questions just to get a hint of her daily life.

How’s Zeke? How are you guys?

Still, the answers always went back to updates on the application. When he was trudging to the desert or while running through some dirt track in his mind, even when the water tasted too artificially like plastic---too professional for his taste---he settled for it.

That was the only water he had after all.

Hange limited herself to ten messages a day, mentioning something about being bad at replying, apologizing for late replies. Levi had to admit though when he was working, he was guilty of a similar thing. Yet he found himself just a little irritable, a little desolate at such an outcome.

A week after he had last seen Hange, he decided to start reading the books about love again.

Love is a choice. Overused.

To love others, one must love themselves. He got that already.

Levi dropped his reader by the side of his bed and stared at the blank ceiling above him. The books on love were biased. They created for themselves an assumption, an assumption that she was his and whatever he had to deal with was some inner turmoil inside him, an inability to love. But what if he was willing to love? What if it was just a matter of circumstances just not letting him indulge in such an emotion.

He had entertained that for just a second before brushing away the nagging thought and the annoyingly sticky guilt that clung to it. Maybe there was merit in just turning off his emotions then, just discarding the overall idea of love. He deleted the books Hange had sent him from his ebook reader.

If the company got the funds, if Hange got the greenlight on her research, he would see her again, he would be forced to read those books and they would be forced to work together.

Then and there, he didn’t need to think about it just yet. He didn’t have to put himself through the pain of analyzing circumstances and emotions that left a heavy weight and an ache in his chest.

He could forget Hange until then. He could ignore her messages and maybe focus on something else like an action movie or a video game. He had streaming service subscriptions, he had game emulators on his laptop. Soon he discovered, with the right combination of focus, willpower just getting through slow starts, it was easy to immerse himself in something as mundane as a city building game.

He was halfway through building one of his farms and was already attached to the regular city goers of the small city he created for himself when his phone rang. That abrupt and grating sound had been enough of a reminder, Levi still wasn’t completely over being sad. He quickly reached for the phone on the side of his bench in an ungraceful and seemingly desperate chain of motions that had him almost ashamed of himself.

His laptop had been one of the victims, toppling over to the side of the bed but by god’s grace it had only skimmed the edges before laying flat on its side.

Levi muttered a soft curse. This message better be worth it. And the only message he decided would be worth it, would be a message from Hange which didn’t involve that stupid application.

Leviiiiiii are you free? :))))))))))

Free when? Levi was quick to reply. Now? Tomorrow? Next week? Really, he was always free, it was just a matter of asking for a leave and opening his schedule. He didn’t want to seem so pathetic as to tell her that though

Long weekend this weekend so Zeke offered to take us south to one of our country clubs.

Us?

Erwin is coming too. Levi didn't’ know whether to feel relieved or disappointed at that exposition. Before he could reply though, the messages kept coming.

Think of it as a thank you for the app ;)

And a start to a great partnership ;)

Hange had too many smileys, too many winky faces but recently, she had started to pepper her messages with just a little too much. They were colleagues, very friendly colleagues. For a second, he wondered how many smileys Hange used when messaging Zeke.

Still, Levi saw some glimmer of hope and optimism in the fact that they were creating a special bond in their own way.

And who would he be to turn down a special invite from a special colleague. I’ll see you there then :) He added his own smiley in the end, trying to forget the fact that he had wasted a good few seconds vacillating between the winking smiley face and the normal one.

Hange’s reply came quickly and maybe a little more enthusiastically. Okay! We’ll pick you up Friday night at the office :D

Levi was grateful at least he had something to look forward to.