#the joy and the burden of knowing who hwang hyunjin is

[hyunjining]

there are no words in the english language to describe how i feel about these images. what the fuck is his problem.

[the-sea-called-history02]

I Want to See My Little Boy

(Here He Comes)

(Song isn’t related to the content of the story, it just gives Hyunjin vibes to me. Don’t ask why. It just does.)

Hwang Hyunjin x gn!reader

Genre: Fluff with a good ol’ helping of angst (very sfw in my opinion)

Word Count: 1400

Warnings: fighting, cursing, frequent implications of mental health (depression, anxiety, panic attacks, low key reader has implied abandonment issues)

      You know those days where every damn thing that can go wrong does? Why did today have to be one of those days? It wasn’t your fault everyone tried to cut you off in traffic, but your boss still yelled at you for being late. It wasn’t your fault that some clumsy idiot knocked your coffee onto the report you had been working on for weeks, but your coworkers were still furious about it. It wasn’t your fault that the one person who could make it all go away, your boyfriend, Hwang Hyunjin, was on tour with his members halfway around the world and wouldn’t be coming home for another three days, but you couldn’t help but want nothing more than for him to hold you close and tell you it would be okay.

      Of course, it wasn’t in any way his fault either. He had been so excited when the tour had been announced, and you couldn’t help but crack a small smile while the memories of him excitedly bouncing around your apartment replayed in your mind.

      “I can’t wait to see all of Stay again! It’s been so long and I’m just so ready to get back on stage and I hope they like our new songs as much in concert as they did on the album and I’m so nervous that they won’t like my choreography, and…” he rambled on and on about all the things he was going to say and do in every city they visited, and watching your normally quiet, reserved boyfriend finally get to return to the job he loved so much filled your heart with absolute joy.

      “You’re coming with us, right, beautiful?” He had stopped running around and had grabbed you by the waist, the use of his favorite pet name for you sending butterflies straight to your stomach, “I mean, it’ll be a great time and we’ll finally get to travel together like we’ve always wanted to!” You wanted with your whole heart to say yes, but you knew your boss wouldn’t let you take two days off of work, much less the six months that the boys would be gone for.

      “Jinnie, I can’t. I wish I could, but I have to stay here or else I’ll risk losing my job.” You peeled your eyes away from his hopeful gaze and looked down at your feet. Both of you were wearing the matching fuzzy socks you had gotten for your one year anniversary last month.

      “What do you mean? You have to come! I need you there with me, and, besides, you hate that job. You can just come with us and find a new job when you get back.”

      “It’s not that easy, love. Trust me. I’ve been looking for a different job for months and nothing that could even remotely cover my half of the rent is available.” You could tell he was getting frustrated because his beaming smile had fallen from its place on his pretty lips. All he had wanted was to share his favorite thing with you, but your stupid job had gotten in the way again. Just like it had on his birthday and Christmas and New Year’s. He knew he shouldn’t be this mad, but he was sick of it stealing the precious moments that he had spent his whole life dreaming of sharing with the one he loved.

      “I’ve told you a million times that I’m happy to pay the full amount for rent, but fine. Stay here with your dead end job. You’d just ruin everything like you always do. I’d rather just spend the tour with the boys, anyway,” he spat, letting go of your waist and walking out of the living room and into your shared bedroom. You wanted to stop him, but you were so shocked at his words that you couldn’t have moved if you tried. He had always been so understanding of the fact that you were just doing the best you could to support him while also supporting yourself. Even if that meant that you had to miss out on a few important things to do so. Your once present smile quickly disappeared as the slightly painful memory concluded and faded off into the depths of your mind.

      You had, of course, made up before he left, and you knew he still loved you just as much as you loved him, but for some reason you were still terrified. The three days had passed like a summer storm, and here you were, nervously picking at the skin of your fingers until they bled, at the gate of the plane Hyunjin was on. Throngs of excited fans were cordoned off behind thin ropes as security separated you from them. Stay had always been super supportive of your relationship with Hyunjin, which you were beyond grateful for, but the company still didn’t want to take any chances because without you, there was no Hyunjin. Even so, here you were. Standing between several large men in suits and replaying idiotic “what if’s” in your head. What if he found someone else while he was on tour? What if he decided that you and your awful job were too much of a burden on him? What if he didn’t love you anymore?

      You were so wrapped up in your anxiety-fueled thoughts that you hardly noticed when the crowd started screaming, signaling the members’ return. You quickly snapped back into reality and straightened yourself. One by one, the boys walked out with their carry-ons, surrounded by guards who were dressed identically to the ones around you. They looked tired, but, more importantly, they looked happy. Every one of them had this glow about them as they sluggishly trudged down the ramp. A glow that only comes when someone does something they love and that makes them feel whole.

      Seven of the boys had met up at the base of the ramp, but none of them were your boy. The boy you loved so deeply, it hurt. It really hurt. Maybe that was why you were so nervous. Loving him hurt, but you knew that losing his light would plunge you into the darkest place imaginable and that wouldn’t just hurt. It would kill you. Or maybe you were just so excited to have your beloved boyfriend back, that it just felt like a panic attack. You honestly couldn’t tell, but still, you focused your eyes on the plane intensely. Just then, a tall, slender man appeared at the top of the gently sloping exit ramp and proceeded gracefully down towards his brothers.

      As he reached them, he began quickly looking around the airport lobby that they had been waiting in. You saw him ask Chan something and that Chris didn’t hesitate to point directly at the spot where you were standing, unconsciously fidgeting with your sleeves and tapping your feet. Hyunjin peeked around his leader and when his eyes met yours you could have sworn he had just seen an angel descending from the sky, the way his face lit up. He broke away from the group and started bolting towards you with the purest smile on his face. You started to panic in a different way as he approached you, seeing as he didn’t show signs of slowing down any, and you weren’t a particular fan of being trampled, but as he reached you, he picked you up and swung you around, pressing a passionate kiss to your lips.

      “I fucking missed you, beautiful,” he whispered in a voice so soft and gentle you wouldn’t have heard it unless you were the one whose lips were still softly touching his, which, thank God, you were.

      “I fucking missed you too, sweet boy,” tears threatening to spill over as you held him tightly in your arms. You realized then and there that there was no way that this man was going to just find someone else and leave you without warning. Too much love radiated from his entire being for that to ever be a possible scenario. You gratefully held him in your arms. Your little boy. Sure, he was bigger than you in pretty much every sense of the word, and there wasn’t a snowball’s chance that you were in charge in the bedroom (most of the time, but that’s a different story), but, when push comes to shove, he is, and always will be, your little boy, and you wouldn’t ever want it any other way.

Hey! So this is the first fic I’ve ever written, and I’m actually kind of proud of it. That said, if anyone has feedback, I would really appreciate it! Okay, love you!

[palindrome17]

The Flowers that Grow in the Alleyway ♔ Hwang Hyunjin

Genre: friends to lovers au (i guess), slice of life, angst, fluff

Pairing: hyunjin x reader

Word Count: 7.1k

Warnings: swearing/cursing

Synopsis: It is said that the alleyway isn’t a good place to find people, but this time is different. When a troubled boy named Hyunjin crosses paths with you, things start to look bright. However, as time passes, feelings start to emerge. Could this lead to a chaotic disaster or perhaps a magnificent beauty?

The sound of typing on a keyboard for hours upon hours was starting to give you a headache. You looked out your apartment window to see that the sky was turning a light crimson color, as the sun’s rays came through, softly lighting your room with a red/pink hue. Your eyes started to hurt from staring at a screen for hours, so you decided it was time for a break. You closed the laptop quietly and laid it down at the foot of your bed. The unusual stillness of the city was almost jarring to you. Most of the time the city is bustling and busy, but today felt rare. The calm and still atmosphere almost made you forget that life for you sucks at the moment. All of it seemed to consist of deadlines, taxes, jobs, money, and things that completely weigh you down. You glanced around at your bare room, remembering that you have little to nothing due to shortage of money. The phone beside you made a loud buzz, snapping you out of the trance. You saw that it was a message from your mother.

 Mother: It’s been a while since I’ve heard from you. I hope you’re doing okay. Studying must be very stressful for you but remember that getting a job that makes money is important.

 You took a long and deep sigh, as you stared at your phone. Your mother wasn’t helping your situation of feeling burdened, even if she was trying to help.

 You: Yes, mother. I understand. I meant to call you before, but things aren’t going the way I want to right now. Studying has been really stressful and-

 You paused and started to hold down the delete key. You didn’t want to show her that you couldn’t make it. Even when you were younger, people have always told you that you were a strong person. So, in return, it made you independent… and isolated.

 You: Yes, mother. I understand.

 The sound of a message sent rang clear in your room. You set down your phone on your puffy bedsheets as you rested your head against the headboard. Eyes closed as you basked in the quietness of your room, feeling the slight heat radiating from outside.

 Although not much time has passed when you heard a loud thud sound, followed by someone’s loud cursing of an array of colorful language, “Fuck! Shit! Damn!” all in that order.

 Your heart jumped from the sudden noise, as you were almost too scared to peer out your window to see who it was. You waited patiently, hoping that the person would continue to walk on. However, that wasn’t the case. It seemed like it was never the case for you. The loud noises continued as the person kept getting frustrated. What the hell is going on? You slowly got up out of your bed, curiosity slowly peaking interest. You at least wanted to know if they were okay. The crack of your window being pulled up caused the other person to suddenly stop the commotion. You stepped out onto the fire escape and peered off down to the alley; hands placed on the railing, looking at the guy from down below.

 “Um, excuse me? Are you okay?” you asked the person from below.

 You were only on the second floor of the apartment complex, so you can easily see who was making the commotion. It was a guy who seemed to be frustrated beyond belief, but as he looked up, he was startled. You noticed that his jet-black hair was awry, probably due to getting all upset. His eyes were dark like black coffee, although you could see in his eyes that he was hurting. Lips plump, almost to a pout, but turned down like he was about to cry. To you, he looked like a sad cat. The soft crimson rays turned to a light pink hue and saturated every object that it could touch, giving the boy a dim pink glow around his edges. You can only blink as you saw this hurt guy from down below, waiting for his response.

 “Fuck off! What do you want?!” he yelled up to you, obviously distressed that you witnessed him almost lose it.

 You slightly jumped due to his response, but you knew how to handle people like this, “Well I’m sorry that I just wanted to see if you were okay.” You said with a slight hint of sass in response, however not wanting to be too harsh to a guy who looked so miserable.

 The guy still had an angry demeaner plastered on his face, “The fuck you say! You don’t even know me!” he said through gritted teeth.

 You nodded in response, taking in what he said, “That’s true. But I know a hurting person when I see one. I can’t just let someone be so unhappy, even if I don’t know them.” You paused and tried to give him a reassuring smile, “I guess that’s just who I am.”

 “I don’t give a damn who you are. Mind your own business!” he spat, clearly still angry, and not wanting you to know anything about his life.

 You gave a slight sigh, this fucking guy, “If you didn’t want to talk to me, you could’ve just walked away already.” you smirked slightly, knowing damn well you’re right.

 He narrowed his eyes to you, “Don’t fucking talk to me like you know better.” He stated, but you could hear his small voice crack at the end of the sentence.

 Your expression softened as you took a small breath, “You’re right. I don’t know a damn thing.” Swinging yourself up onto the railing of the platform, “But there’s no need to be perfect, we’re all just human.” You stated with a calm tone.

 The boy frowned, “What the hell do you mean?! You know nothing! Stop trying to think you fucking know anything about me! You’re so frustrating!” his voice becoming raspier and drier with each word.

 You tilted your head slightly, “The fact that you think I’m frustrated says more about you than me, don’t you think?” You asked slowly.

 The boy then fell apart right then and there. His small whimpers echoed in the alleyway. He crumpled like paper onto the ground as he leaned against the wall, his cries getting louder. His legs pulled tightly against his chest as his hands ran through his hair. You could tell he was trying his hardest to hold back, but to no prevail. You slowly got off the railing and walked down the stairs to comfort the boy, not knowing how he’ll react. Your feet made a loud thud as you stepped on the ground, making him try to hide himself as much as possible. You looked at the crying boy in front of you and sat on the ground next to him. His cries became softer as you just sat beside him quietly. You tucked your legs to your chest and rested your chin on your knees, looking straight ahead. The sun slowly dipped down below the city buildings, the sky still stained with the light pink color.

 Breaking the silent crying, you said gently, “Life fucking sucks, don’t you think?”

 The boy raised his head as he turned to look at you, his face tear stained and eyes red, “Yeah, it really does.” He shakily replied.

 You gave him a small comforting smile, “What’s your name?”

 He gave a slight sniff and wiped his eyes with his sleeve, “My name is Hyunjin.”

 “Nice to meet you, dumpster cat.” You teased, trying to make him laugh.

 Hyunjin cracked a smile, “Nice to meet you too, kitten.” he laughed.

 Ever since that day, Hyunjin walked down the alleyway to see you. You never really knew why since there was really no other reason to come this way. However, he soon became a friend of yours, something that you haven’t had in a while. It’s been a few months since the first day you met Hyunjin, and between those months there was laughter, crying, and everything else in between. Each day with Hyunjin made every day more tolerable and each day you spent with Hyunjin, he felt wanted.

➵

You were sitting in your chair at your desk, staring at your laptop with a dead expression. Studying has become more difficult for you, partly due to stress and mostly due to Hyunjin. You spent most of your time with him because he seemed to always be around with you. Not that you’re complaining or anything, he just makes studying harder for you. He became someone who was important to you, nevertheless. So very important. Though, if you were completely honest, you started having feelings for him. It would never work out, you told yourself constantly, so you pushed down those feelings. Snapping out of your daze, you closed your laptop and leaned your head back, so you were looking at the ceiling. The lights of the city beamed brightly against the void of the night sky. Surprisingly you can still see the city lights through your closed blinds. You stood up and turned on your fairy lights, trying to get a night vibe as you started to play your favorite slow songs through your small speaker. Suddenly, your phone started to buzz, and you picked it up to see who it was. To no surprise, it was the devil himself. You answered the call as you put it up to your ear, the song still playing in the background.

 “Hey. What’s up?” you asked, genuinely confused why he called you.

 “Nothing much. I was wondering if um…” he paused, he seemed nervous to you, “if you would like to hang out with me tonight? Just to take a walk around the city.” He finished, saying the last few words rather quickly.

 You paced a little as you thought about it, “Are you asking me on a date then?” you teasingly asked, almost hoping Hyunjin would say yes, “Cause it sure sounds like it.”

 A long pause was received until Hyunjin finally spoke, “Do you want it to be a date?” his voice sounding sheepish to you.

 A smile pulled at your lips, “I guess so~” you replied with a slight hint of sass, you could almost feel the joy radiating on the other side of the phone.

 “Okay, it’s a date then. I’ll meet you in the alley in 10 minutes,” he spoke quickly, “kitten.” He added and hung up before you had a chance to react.

 Suddenly your face became hot. Nicknames weren’t this much of a deal to you, since you also have a nickname for him. Though, this time it felt different. All the other times it was just for fun and jokes, but this time it felt real. You quickly turned off your music as you prepared for Hyunjin to arrive. There wasn’t too much to do since you were already dressed nicely, so you decided to put on a little makeup for the time being. 10 minutes have passed as you sat on your bed, checking your phone occasionally. Unexpectedly you heard a stone being thrown at your window. It made you jump at first, but then your nerves calmed down when you realized it must be Hyunjin. This was one of several way of letting you know that it was him. This little brat could’ve texted me instead. He’s such an idiot. You thought as you quickly put on shoes and opened your window. Still not realizing that you came out, he kept throwing stones at the window. One hit you right on the arm as you closed your window.

 “Damnit, Hyunjin. I’m right here! You can stop now!” you yelled down to him.

 Hyunjin audibly dropped all the stones in hand, “Oh, sorry. Just wanted to make sure you were awake.” He paused for a moment, “I could’ve texted you that I was here, but there’s no fun in that.” He laughed.

 You rolled your eyes as you came to the ground level, “My god, you are such a child sometimes, Jinnie.” You playfully added his nickname at the end.

 “Like you’re one to talk.” He rolled his eyes dramatically, “You’re just as much of a child than me!” he argued.

 You could only smile at him, “Fine, whatever you say. Let’s go while the night is still young.” you took his hand and pulled him as you stepped out into the city lights.

 You walked around the city for what seemed like hours, doing random activities when you two spotted something to do. It seemed like everything was a dream, so blissfully perfect. Utterly, stupidly, chaotically perfect. You made it to a bridge where the trees hovered over like clouds, the city lights in this part of the area were less luminated, the running stream below cooed softly, and the scarcity of people around was almost alarming. This felt uncannily perfect. Hyunjin stood right beside you as you simply stared off into the city. You let out a sigh as the wind blew the air out of you, getting lost in the feeling of complete calmness. You felt a nudge from your side as it broke you back to reality, looking at Hyunjin, you almost forgot how to speak. The low lighting made his features blend nicely, hair almost to the point of messy, and lips so irresistible it should be a crime. You had to admit, Hyunjin was so beautiful, it was an absolute mystery why he kept coming around and hanging out with someone like you. Though, everything about Hyunjin is a complete mystery.

 “Are you okay? You were just staring at me while I was talking to you.” He laughed, noticing you almost creepily stare at him.

 Your heart began to beat faster, “I’m fine! I’m sorry, its just that um…” you were at a loss of words, your mind quickly trying to find an excuse.

 “C’mon, I know what’s up.” He lightly pushed your shoulder, “I’m just too handsome that everyone seems to be distracted by me.” He gave a signature smile as he combed his hair back with his fingers.

 A laugh erupted from you, “Absolutely not.” You shook your head, “I mean, I’m not going to tell you how to view yourself, but handsome isn’t part of it.”

 Hyunjin pouted, “Why’re you so rude to me? What have I done to deserve this hate?” he whined.

 You chuckled, he’s such a child, “It’s not that I’m rude to you, it’s just how I show my affection, Jinnie.”

 “Oh, I see now. You do care about me then~” he said with a playful tone.

 You rolled your eyes and glanced down at the ground with a smile, “Idiot. I do care about you. Maybe just in a peculiar way, I suppose.” You looked back out into the city to take in the view.

 You could feel Hyunjin stare at you as he kept quiet. You always wondered what was going on in his head, because sometimes it was really questionable. You didn’t dare look back at him because you were too embarrassed to face him again.

 He finally spoke, “Are you okay?” he asked, genuinely concerned, “I can tell something has been bothering you for the past few days. If there is anything, please tell me.” He begged in a pleading manner as he took your hand in his on the rail.

 Your heart began to sink as you tried to come up with a way to tell him, but nothing came to mind, “Honestly,” you coughed out, retreating your hand from his, “I don’t even know myself. Things have been so hard for me recently that I’ve been so worn down by trying to do good.” You fessed up, giving him almost a hauntingly calm, sad expression.

 You could tell the look on his face that he was hurt by the expression on your face and the words that were said, “You know I’m always here for you. Even if we haven’t known each other for that long,” he paused, thinking carefully about his next words, “I feel like, a connection between you and me. Like, we understand each other.”

 You nodded slowly, “Yeah, I feel the same way too. Thank you, though. I know that you’ll always be with me.” You looked back out into the city, “If we’re being honest here, I don’t think I’ve ever asked you what your situation was back in the alleyway, the first day I met you. Why were you there?” you asked hesitantly as you turned towards him.

 “Well,” he started, “There has been some family issues recently, and I found out some things that I… don’t even like to think about right now.” He said slowly, glancing around as he spoke, never directly looking you in the eyes, “I stormed out of the house, not really knowing where I was going. Somehow, I ended up in your alleyway, and that’s where I was at my breaking point.” He paused and looked at you directly, “Though, it wasn’t all bad… because that’s where I found you.” Hyunjin ended as he gave you a ghost of a smile.

 Your brain couldn’t come up with any words to tell him. You were glad that he told you his problems, but did he also just tell you that he was happy to find you? Your heart almost gave out when you heard him say those words. The night air breeze went through your body as you just stood there, looking at this beautifully problematic person, as you just wanted to tell him everything you felt about him, but physically unable to tell him. The trees answered with rustling against the river’s comments. Hyunjin stared at you, looking like he was about to tear up, anticipating for a response from you.

 “Hyunjin, I’m sorry about what’s happening.” You finally spoke against the wind, “I just want you to know that I’ll never leave you, never. Not now, not ever.” You gave him your best smile in the moment.

 You could tell that gave Hyunjin a sense of relief as he relaxed a bit, though still having an aura of sadness against him. The silence between you and Hyunjin was almost frightening, however, there was a sense of relaxed serenity. You could’ve stayed in the moment forever if you could. Through all the chaos of banter, you suddenly felt a wave of tiredness. Feeling the effects of sleepiness was apparent to Hyunjin as he chuckled under his breath as you yawned and rubbed your eyes.

 “What?” you asked drowsily, “I’m just tired.” You stated as you looked at Hyunjin with sleepy eyes.

 “Do you think you can make it home?” Hyunjin asked as he took you by the arm.

 You nodded in response, trying to walk back, but tiredness caught up to you too quickly, “Jinnie. I don’t think I can walk anymore. My legs are dying out on me.” You complained as you dragged your feet.

 Hyunjin only laughed at the state you were in, which was different from what he was used to, “Here, I’ll carry you then. I’ll give you a piggyback ride~” he offered as he bent down a little, offering to carry you.

 You gave out a little giggle, “I told you. You’re definitely the child here.”

 “Do you want a ride or not? Cause I’ll just leave you here.” He jokingly replied with a wide smile.

 You pouted, “No, don’t leave me. I wanna ride.” As you jumped up on his back.

 You felt weightless as your feet lifted off the ground, it felt like you were floating. You held onto Hyunjin’s shoulders as he started to walk back to your apartment. Though, slowly getting tired, you rested your arms loosely around his neck and eyes feeling heavy like rain clouds, you leaned forward against Hyunjin’s back. The lights of the city between your dazed eyes looked like little yellow fuzzy circles, a light laugh emerged from your lips.

 Hyunjin turned his head slightly to the side, “What’s so funny back there?”

 “Just the lights. That’s all.” you mumbled as you started to close your eyes.

 You only heard an audible sigh, but you felt a smile form on Hyunjin’s lips as he continued to walk on. Eyes starting to close, you soon dozed off into a light sleep.

 You felt a slight jerk to your side as you woke up from the light nap. You looked around to see that you’re back in the alleyway, safe and sound.

 “Thank you for taking me all the way back here. You must be tired.” You looked at him while getting off his back.

 Hyunjin bent his back as he stretched, “No problem. Anything for you, kitten.” He replied with a smile.

 You let out an airy laugh, still tired, “Well, I had a really great time with you, Jinnie.” You weakly smiled back, “I suppose this is where our adventure ends, huh?”

 Hyunjin nodded solemnly, “I suppose so…” he glanced at you, then down the alley, “I guess I should be heading on then. I’ll text you when I’m safe.”

 “Please do.” you said as you ascended the stairs to your window, every so often glancing down to Hyunjin walking down the alley.

 For some reason, seeing him leave made you anxious. Maybe it was because its late, or maybe because you worry about his safety, or maybe just because you don’t want him to leave. Hyunjin looked back to give you a wave and a smile as he started to get out of range. It was late, people were sleeping, but that didn’t matter to you.

 You peered over the railing as you yelled his name, “Hyunjin! Come back here!” You soon saw Hyunjin run back down the alley as you walked down the stairs as fast as you could.

 Hyunjin arrived at the bottom of the stairs, taking a breath, as you were on the middle of the staircase, looking down at him. He looked at you concerned and confused.

 “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?!” he started walking up the staircase right up to the step below you.

 You could only feel your heart against your ribcage, your heartbeat pumping loud in your ear, “Just stay in my apartment. You have a far walk back, and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” You stated as you looked at him.

 Hyunjin gave you a questionable look, “You want me to stay in your apartment, with you?” he said slowly, seeing if he understood your request correctly.

 “Yeah,” you said softly, “I just…” your mind was drawing a blank as you looked at him.

 Hyunjin smiled, “Thanks. I’ll stay for the night, I suppose.”

 You reciprocated a smile as you turned and walked back up the stairs. You could hear Hyunjin walking closely behind until you got to your window. You slid up the window as it made a loud creaking noise, your curtains swaying from the light breeze from outside. You slipped in as you quickly glanced around your room to see if there was anything embarrassing that needed to be put away before Hyunjin had a chance to make fun of you. Thank god that everything was put away, though. You exhaled happily as you heard your window being closed and shut. You turned around to see Hyunjin glancing around your room, the pale soft fairy lights of your room gave him a dark shadow with a small halo outline. Damn, why does he have to be so attractive.

 “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever been in your room.” Hyunjin said as he was walking around your room, looking at everything.

 You sat on your bed, “Yeah, because I didn’t have a reason for you to come in my room.” You replied as you watched him look around.

 Hyunjin smirked at you as he stood across from you, “Yeah? Maybe you should have some reasons for me to come in then.” he grabbed you chair and sat down on it.

 You knew exactly what he meant, but that wasn’t going to get under your skin, “Fuck you, Jinnie.” You laughed as you threw a pillow at him, “Don’t even think about it.” You rolled your eyes at him.

 Hyunjin caught the pillow as he hugged it, “I know, I know.” He laughed along, “Just wanted to tease you, kitten~”

 “Stop calling me that.” You gave him a look, almost sounding annoyed.

 “What… Kitten? Why? It’s adorable.” He gave you a big smile as he started to become a flirt.

 You sighed, “It’s not adorable.” you said, adjusting yourself on your bed, “Besides, don’t you have other friends to joke around with?”

 He became silent for a moment, thinking, “I do. But they’re not as fun to be around as you. I just really enjoy being around with you.” He confessed, almost shyly.

 Thank god that it was dark in your room, otherwise he would’ve seen the massive blush on your face. This was the only few times that he was almost shy to tell you things, but that made you happy to see him open up.

 “I really enjoy being around you too.” You replied with a bashful smile, “You really mean a lot to me, Hyunjin.” You admitted while looking away.

 “You mean a lot to me, too.” He smiled as he rubbed the back of his neck.

 You had an idea as you took out your phone as you turned on your favorite slow song. The music started playing through your small speaker as you got off your bed and stood in the middle of your room. You looked to Hyunjin, making a proposal.

 “Wanna dance with me?” you asked as the song continued to play.

 He stood up and slowly walked toward you, “Of course.”

 Hyunjin took you by the waist as he hugged his arms around them, pressing you close to him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, falling onto him. You leaned your head into his chest, hearing his steady heartbeat play along with the music, it made you calm down from the craziness of life as you held onto him. Rocking back and forth slowly, you embraced the moment you had with Hyunjin. The calmness of the music, holding Hyunjin in your arms, the stillness of the outside world, all of it seemed to be magnificently perfect. The song soon ended with its final strike of a note, though you still held onto him a little longer, not wanting to let go. A yawn escaped your lips as you felt tired, eyes feeling dense.

 Hyunjin let go as he looked at you, “You sound tired. We should probably get to bed, kitten.” He suggested as he led you back to your bed.

 You were too tired to object him as you finally felt the softness of your bed, “I told you not to call me that.” You tiredly complained to him as you crawled under the sheets.

 “Well, that’s too bad. Cause you don’t have a say on what I can call you.” He joked as he fixed the sheets on you, helping you get comfortable.

 You could only respond with a grunt as your brain started to go into auto pilot. Your sheets slowly warming your body as you felt yourself disconnect with reality. You heard the faint noises of your chair being moved closer to you, and soon you felt a soft hand being placed on yours. You then felt lips being pressed delicately against your forehead. The bed sinking slightly near the edge, you could only assume that Hyunjin was staying with you in your room. The world went dead quiet as you slowly drifted out to the sea of void.

➵

You opened your eyes to see complete whiteness surrounding you. You looked around to see if anyone is around you, but there was no one. Suddenly, a thick smoke came out of nowhere as it engulfed you into an abyss of emptiness. Your heart began racing as you looked around frantically, yelling out into the nothingness, hoping that someone could hear you.

 “Someone! Please help me!” your voice became sore and dead.

 “Anyone! Save me, please!” still, no response.

 Your eyes became watery as you were starting to lose hope. Looking around once more, you saw something in the far distance. You started to run as fast as your legs could carry you, wanting out of this nightmare. The smoke wasn’t helping your vision as you ran faster with every step, almost falling over from running so fast. The figure soon started to look like a person as you ran closer to them. You soon realize who the person was. It was Hyunjin. Relief washed over you like a river as you approached him, out of breath.

 “Hyunjin! I thought I was all alone.” You said as you looked at him with a smile.

 You then noticed that it was Hyunjin, but it wasn’t really Hyunjin. Your smile soon faded as you saw a ghost of someone you knew. He looked grey and cold as you examined him. He was looking at the ground, not even noticing you were there. You roughly grabbed him by the shoulders and started to shake him.

 “What’s wrong with you?! Tell me!” you screamed at him, seeing that he was not okay.

 No response.

 “Hyunjin! Please tell me something! Anything!” you continued, your voice giving out.

 He slowly looked up from the ground. His eyes were dead, his body was hollow, his hair was unkept, his skin was pale, he didn’t seem like a person.

 “It’s all over, y/n. I’m leaving you. You mean nothing to me anymore. I’m done.” He spoke meaninglessly and flat with no emotion in his voice, “Goodbye.”

 You felt your heart sink to hear those words from him. Even if it wasn’t really Hyunjin. Those words. Those dreadful words that hurt you so badly to hear from anyone. You felt all alone. You were all alone. You felt him slip from your grasp as he walked away. You could only watch in pain as he vanished from sight. Your legs bolted to the ground; you couldn’t move anymore. You didn’t want to move anymore. You fell to the ground in agony as you screamed in pain, your throat raw, tears running down your face, completely and utterly turned into nothing. This was the end for you as the smoke covered you in fear. It was over. It was all over.

➵

You sat up in a heartbeat as you let out a scream. Dripping in a cold sweat, you frantically look around to see that you’re in your bedroom. Hyunjin’s head rose quickly to look at you with concern.

 “Hey, hey! Its okay. Its okay. You’re okay!” he started to tell you, “I’m right here. Don’t worry.” He said in a calm manner, trying to get you to do the same.

 You felt tears at the brink of falling as you looked at Hyunjin, remembering the nightmare. Tears started painting down your face as you felt getting flashbacks of what happened. Hyunjin quickly embraced you as he got on the bed and let you cry into him. He gently petted your head as you let it all out.

 “I – I had a nightmare… and-” you tried to explain to Hyunjin what happened, but you simply couldn’t, your words caught in your throat.

 He simply shook his head, “You don’t have to tell me. Just calm down. I’m right here.” he whispered.

 You calmed down some as you stayed silent in Hyunjin’s arms. Not knowing if you could ever tell him what happened. The city was alive and awake outside as your room stayed completely motionless. The silent tears falling reverberated against the walls as the fairy lights were a soft pale light. You breathed out quietly as you held onto Hyunjin, not ever wanting to let go of him.

➵

The cool breeze of night air whispered through the city. The dark void of the sky looked mesmerizing against the lit-up city. The stars above mimicking the lights down below, though faintly. Only a shade or two lighter portions of the sky was the last remnant where the sun went down over the horizon. You sat on the ledge of the apartment rooftop, legs dangling down as the view of the city was passing you by. These nights were your favorite because you got to disconnect from the bustling of life. These nights were becoming rare for you because you always had other things to do. These nights, you basked in the emotions you felt. You closed your eyes, listening to everything around you. The cars on the road, the people walking along the sidewalks, music playing in bars, the smell of food rising from the vents of restaurants, city life was never boring. You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket; you took it out as you saw the name on your screen. It was Hyunjin. You answered the phone, curious.

 “Hey. What’s going on?” you asked, looking around down at the city.

 “Oh, nothing much. I’m around the area and was wondering if you want to hang out again.” he sounded like he was in the streets because you heard talking in the background.

 You paused, looking around, “Sure. I’m on the roof of my apartment, so meet me there. The door should be opened, so just come in.”

 Hyunjin let out a laugh, “The roof? That seems dangerous for someone like you.” He teased.

 “Shut up, Jinnie. It’s perfectly okay.” You reassured him, “Unless you’re too much of a baby to come up here.” You challenged.

 Hyunjin scoffed, “I am not a baby!” he said defensively, “I’ll be over soon, kitten.” He hung up.

 You put your phone back in your pocket and waited for his arrival. You tried to tune into the quietness above the city, but to no prevail. The city was too loud for you to find the peacefulness you were searching for. The sound of footsteps approaching caused you to snap out of focus and quickly turn around to see that it was only Hyunjin. You loosened up a bit as he sat next to you, swinging his legs down beside yours. The silence between you and Hyunjin grew with each minute that passed.

 “Hey.” He finally spoke.

 “Hey.” You replied back, “So, what’s been going on with you today? I thought I heard some voices in the background when you called.” You asked as you looked at him.

 He gave out a light chuckle, “Oh, I was with my friends. We were all about to head back home, but I wanted to see you after we all left.” He explained, “They all were just loud and obnoxious if you ask me. They keep asking about you every time I call you.”

 You raised an eyebrow at him, “You talk about me around them?” you asked, “You better be saying good things about me!” you laughed as you lightly pushed him.

 “Of course, I do.” he laughed, “They actually want to meet you sometime. I only said yes if you were okay with it.” He gave you a hopeful smile.

 You thought about it, then smiled happily, “I’d love to meet them. I bet they’re as fun as you to be around.”

 Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “I guess fun could be a word to describe them.”

 You and Hyunjin let out a loud laugh together. Being around each other never use to be this strange, however, this night felt different. As the laughter died, you could only just look at him. The smile fading as you looked back out into the city.

 “Do you remember the day I had a nightmare?” you said suddenly, almost hauntingly as you remembered the events.

 He gave you a small nod, “Yeah. Why?” he asked, placing a hand on yours.

 “You were in my nightmare, and you told me that you didn’t want me anymore. That you were leaving me.” Your heart began to run out of your chest, “That I meant nothing to you. And you left saying goodbye.” Your eyes starting to tear up, remembering the scene vividly.

 You felt his head lean on your shoulder, “Y/n, I would never leave you. You know that, right? I would never say those things to you.” He spoke tenderly, trying to comfort you, his hand holding onto yours tightly.

 You could only nod, “Yeah. I know.” You whispered, “But it still hurt to hear it, especially from you.”

 “I know, but I want you to trust me that I would never say that to you. You mean way too much for me to say those things to you.” He spoke quietly as he continued to hold your hand.

 “What do I mean to you, then?” you asked, looking down at his puffy black hair.

 Hyunjin stayed silent, “You mean so much to me that words can’t truly tell you, kitten.” He confessed, “You mean everything to me.”

 Your eyes widened as you held onto his hands. His words echoing in your head, giving you butterflies in your stomach. You never thought that Hyunjin would say those cheesy things to you, but alas, here you are.

 “Thank you, Hyunjin. Really.” You smiled as you watched the cars pass by, completely ignorant to what is happening from above.

 A silent wave washed over you are you and Hyunjin watched the city moving along. You saw life passing you by, but it didn’t matter because you had Hyunjin beside you.

 “Jinnie. Have you ever thought about the future? What it’ll hold in store. How things will change.” You asked, a memory flowing back to when you had late night talks with a friend long ago.

 “Yeah, I have. Things are crazy nowadays.” He said, lifting his head from your shoulder.

 You chuckled lightly, “Crazy is an understatement. Life just seems to be passing me by lately. Like, I have no control over any of it anymore.” You explained all the things running through your head, “Sometimes I feel like I’m just floating down the river of life, just going through the motions. Some days I think I’m just missing out on things because I’ve been caught up with so much anymore.”

 “If you think that your life is passing you by, if you think that you’re missing out on things, I think you should just take a breath.” He spoke slowly, “I’ve been feeling it too recently. But I think if you feel like its all just passing you by, lets just do things. Do the things that scare us. Do the things that make life a little more pleasant.” He looked at you with a reassuring smile, “Besides, we’re in this together.”

 You smiled and laughed, “I guess so. Thanks for the advice.” You looked him in the eyes, “How is your family issue going?”

 “It’s still a problem right now. But in all honesty,” he looked out to the city, “I think its tolerable since I have you right beside me.”

 Your heart fluttered by those words as you smiled dumbly. He was such a flirt; it was almost stupid. You followed his gaze as you exhaled softly. Moments like these, you never want to let go. It was these moments that you cherished deeply. These were the moments that meant a lifetime to you. Though, there was something pulling at your heart to do.

 “Hey, Jinnie.” You asked as you faced him.

 He looked to you, “Yeah?”

 Your heart started to hurt, throat dry, words losing meaning, “I think I like you.” You confessed, heart beating so fast you thought you’d die, “Even if I haven’t known you for too long, I don’t think I could find anyone like you.”

 He simply stared at you, but then the unimaginable happened. You soon felt soft lips pressed against yours, it was sweet like honey but meaningful. You closed your eyes, reciprocating the feelings, words started becoming meaningless, the world slowly melting away. You pulled away, breathing lightly, looking at him with surprise.

 “I think I like you too, y/n.” he spoke with a smile.

 You laughed as you pushed him, “You could’ve told me that before you kissed me! You’re such a brat!” you yelled at him.

 Hyunjin only laughed, “Just be thankful that I like you. Otherwise I could’ve pushed you off right now!” he joked, looking down to the ground.

 “I would take you down with me then!” you pouted.

 He then smiled as he hugged you, “Yeah, sure. Okay.” He rolled his eyes.

 You grabbed his arm around you, “You’re awful, Jinnie.” you whined.

 He only gave a wide smile at you before he kissed your cheek. You blushed madly as you could only try to let him go of you.

 “Get off of me, Jinnie!” you complained.

 He shook his head, “No. Not until you apologize to me!”

 You sighed, “I’m sorry that you’re such a child compared to me!” you laughed as you insulted him.

 “I am not a child!” he hugged you tighter, “You’re the one who is a child!”

 You could only smile, “You’re so cute, Jinnie.” You soon felt him let go of you as you quickly gave him a peck on the cheek.

 Hyunjin took your hand in his and laced his fingers with yours as you looked out into the city. The world oblivious of what happened on the rooftop. Though, it didn’t matter to you. This is what life’s moments were to be filled with. Even if the world was to forget about you and Hyunjin, this moment was all that mattered. You smiled as you thought back to the memories you had with this boy. This handsome, problematic boy. It has been a while since you’ve felt this way about anyone, but you were happy it was him. You leaned your head onto his shoulder, locking your stare into the world below you. As you peered up into the sky, you saw the stars. They dimly twinkled as you saw them shine through the pollution of the life below. You melted into Hyunjin as you simply stayed in the moment. Everything was perfect. Through all the chaos of life, this was the moment you loved the most.

 “When the sun rises, will you still be here with me?”

 “Forever, my kitten.”

A/N:

 “The world is an insanely chaotic masterful beauty to behold. One day everything will be gone, the universe will carry on without us. The future will someday reminisce in our past, and hopefully smile thinking of us. Though, memories are who we are… and who’s to say we can’t try and live a better day.”

 Ahhhh! This is my first fanfic I’ve seriously written, and, in all honesty, it was really fun to write! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it~

 Lots of love ❤