#the just being seen together doesn't bother me

[joelscruff]

imperfect for you (joel miller x f!reader)

masterlist | a/n written for @janaispunk's 1500 kisses challenge! i got joel + nose kisses with this lovely moodboard and actually managed to write something!!! believe it or not this started out as a drabble lmao. i hope you like it jana - sorry it's a bit late, and congrats again on your milestone 🤍 summary: you never thought joel miller would accidentally call you baby. warnings: age gap (joel is mid 40s, reader is 23), fluff, very brief instance of blood, tending to a wound, joel is eepy, soft kisses, cuddles word count: 5.5k ao3 dividers by @saradika-graphics

"When's the last time you slept?"

He doesn't bother to grace you with an answer, hands clenched on the steering wheel as you barrel down the vacant stretch of highway back to Lincoln. He's been ignoring you for the past fifteen minutes now, eyes straight ahead, brow furrowed, jaw clenched. But he looks pale, almost sickly, the whites of his knuckles stark against the sudden greenish hue of his skin. The last thing you need is for him to pass out and for the two of you to crash into a damn ditch.

"I'm just saying," you continue with an exasperated sigh, "I could drive the rest of the way, we're almost there."

No reply. You roll your eyes and cross your arms indignantly in the passenger seat, returning his icy demeanor. He's in one of his moods again, the ones only Tess really knows how to handle, but you'd volunteered to try your hand at a supply run in her stead which means she's not here to mediate. You should've known some issue would arise, stubborn Joel inventing problems in typical Joel fashion.

"You could've tried to last at least one more hour pretending to like me," you mutter, loud enough for him to hear. He doesn't say anything.

Almost a year of working with them now, and you still don't understand him. You're not sure you ever will. Tess, she's much easier to understand, much more open to being understood. She'd seen your potential and taken you under her wing, brought you in to help, taught you everything you needed to know about smuggling. And Joel... well, he's a different story.

"You know, Tess thinks I have promise," you continue anyway, expression crumpling into a scowl, "She thinks I can do this. I don't get why you don't."

No answer.

"And don't say it's 'cause I'm a kid, because I'm not. I'm twenty three now, I'm past the point of being called a fucking kid. The shit I've seen in that QZ-" you cut yourself off, shaking your head, "I'm not a kid."

His lack of response is beginning to hurt deeper than you'd really like to admit. You glance over at him again; he's still staring straight ahead, still ignoring your presence. It makes unwanted tears prick in your eyes, nose stinging a little as you peer down at your lap and fold your hands together.

You'd been excited for this supply run, probably against your better judgement. You'd wanted to show him how much you know and understand, how hard you've been working, how you're up to the task. Hoped maybe he'd give you a smile - rare, but not impossible - and tell you that you did good, that he sees potential in you too.

You care what he thinks, almost more than what Tess thinks. And you know why, can sense it deep in the pit of your stomach and in the way your heart stutters when he looks at you, but you're clearly living in a fantasy world if you think he's ever gonna get past whatever this stigma is that he has against your age. She's too young, Tess. She'll get hurt, Tess. She shouldn't be doin' this, Tess. You've heard it all, muffled through closed doors in a dark and damp hallway.

He doesn't want you, and you're not sure how much longer you can go on like this. If he's not willing to change his stance, view you as anything other than an inconvenience...maybe Tess will have to find somebody else to help out.

"I know what I'm doing," you mumble, a tear dribbling down your left cheek, "I just wanna help."

You spare him one more look, fruitlessly hoping that maybe he'll feel bad now that he's made you cry - a childish thought, considering you're trying to make a case for being mature, but you can't help it. You know he's capable of being gentle, of being kind. You've experienced it with him before, quiet moments between the two of you in his apartment while waiting for Tess to return, making small talk, him peering at you with a softness in those brown eyes that have since made frequent appearances in your dreams. Moments where you swear you felt wanted under that gaze, but it must've been in your head, because you certainly don't feel wanted right now.

He doesn't look well, you have to admit. His skin is covered in a sheen of sweat, getting paler by the second, turning an unnatural grey color akin to some of the hair on his head. His eyes are glassy, dark bags settled beneath them that you've noticed getting worse and worse over the past few weeks. You shoot a glance at his hands again and are surprised to see that he's loosened his grip, that his fingers seem to be trembling against the rubber.

"Joel," you say, raising your voice a bit, "Joel, are you okay?"

His lack of response no longer angers you - it worries you. Carefully, you reach over and slowly wrap your hand around his right wrist, eyes trained on his face. At your touch, he finally turns to look at you, almost like he's only just noticed you're even there.

"You say somethin'?" he asks, voice raspy, a bit slurred.

Your grip tightens on his wrist, "I think you should stop the car."

He looks at you curiously, dazedly. It's the expression of a man who's running on two, maybe three hours of sleep in the last few days. You choose your next words carefully, eyes flickering back and forth toward his face and the road that he's suddenly no longer watching.

"Let's slow down a bit," you murmur, thumb stroking gently along his skin - he's warm, warmer than normal - "I'm gonna drive the rest of the way, okay?"

You expect some pushback, an attempt at an argument, but the tiredness is setting in quickly. Without any hesitation he eases his foot off the gas and you hurriedly reach your own leg over into his space to push down on the brake. He doesn't seem to notice the way your bare leg brushes his jeans, the crease in your knee bending over the warmth of his thigh.

"There we go," you say softly, bringing the car to a slow stop. He's still looking at you, eyes unfocused as you carefully lean over a little more to unbuckle his seatbelt. You try to ignore how good he smells, how big he is compared to you, putting all your attention on getting him out of the front seat. You unlock his door and then unbuckle your own belt, hurrying out of the car to his side.

"M'okay," he mumbles as soon as you open his door. You start to help him out, and you think he's becoming a little more aware of the situation now, allowing you to pull him to his feet as you tug open the back door. "What's happenin'?"

"You're just tired," you tell him softly, "It's okay, you can sleep in the back, I'll drive."

"Bill n' Frank's," he says as you lead him the right way, pushing him a little and helping him place his knee down on the seat, "Y'know where it is? You remember?"

"I do," you tell him confidently, your hand coming down to press flat against his back - he's so solid, heat radiating against your palm, "Only twenty minutes away now, I got it. You just sleep."

He doesn't argue; in fact, he makes your job easier by crawling onto the seat and settling down with a low groan, rolling onto his back and breathing deeply. You can't help but let a small smile cross your features, watching as one of his hands comes up to rest atop his belly, the other dangling onto the floor. His eyelashes flutter a little, lips parting, and you're about to shut the door when he speaks again.

"I know you jus' wanna help, baby."

You stand there for a moment just staring at him, confusion racing through your thoughts. Goosebumps rise on your flesh as the last word repeats like a mantra in your head, steady and slow as Joel drifts off. It's only when the door is shut and you're in the front seat that you're able to put some meaning to the words, eyes wide as you stare at the faded lines on the road.

I know what I'm doing, you'd said, I just wanna help.

You leave him in the car when you get to Bill and Frank's, typing in the gate code with a backward glance at his loose form in the backseat. They must see him on one of the security monitors, because as soon as the doors open you spot them sprinting out of the house toward you, a scanner gripped in Bill's hand. Typical.

"He's okay," you tell them as soon as you're out of the car, instantly alleviating their stress, "He's just exhausted, I think he needs to sleep for a little while."

"Understatement of the century," Frank replies with a relieved laugh, eyeing the backseat, "Think we can get him in the house?"

"Just leave him in the car," Bill says with a wave of his hand, already turning to head back towards the house with the scanner hanging out of his pocket, "He'll be fine."

Your gaze meets Frank's and he rolls his eyes, "Come on, baby, let's get him upstairs." Your brows go up at the pet name, the same word that had fallen from Joel's lips only twenty minutes ago, but then Bill is shuffling back over with an annoyed look on his face and you quickly realize he's not talking to you.

Getting Joel out of the car proves to be a lot more difficult than getting him in. You try a gentle approach at first, brushing his arm and stroking his skin with your thumb again like you'd done earlier. You can feel Frank's eyes on you as you squeeze Joel's bicep, his wrist, his thigh, and you pretend you don't see the look that passes between him and Bill as you step out to let them take a turn.

Bill goes for a much more aggressive approach, shaking Joel's shoulders wildly and practically yanking him out of the car. Understandably, Joel wakes with a gasp and kicks his legs out, hand reaching for his pistol as he frantically tries to escape Bill's grasp. Before he can grab it though, he's suddenly falling forward, knees buckling as he faceplants onto the pavement beside the car.

Well, that certainly wakes him up. His hands press into the gravel and his head shoots up, blood trickling down his nose as he peers up at the three of you, stunned.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Bill," Frank groans.

"That was not my fault."

Ignoring them, you kneel down and gently touch Joel's shoulder, a concerned look on your face as you eye the splattered blood on the ground, "Fuck, are you okay?"

"What in the hell is goin' on?" he groans, turning to look at you, "Did Bill just break my fuckin' nose?"

"Don't be dramatic," Bill barks, spinning on the spot and heading into the house, "Shoulda just left you in the car."

Joel starts scrambling after him, rising up and standing on wobbly legs, hand reaching for his pistol once again. You and Frank grab him before he can do anything, both of you taking an arm and holding him back.

"Joel, you're exhausted," you tell him quickly, utilizing all your strength, "You just need to lay down. Please."

He turns his face to look at you and something flutters in your chest when you catch the way his eyes soften, the anger in his expression fading as he acknowledges your presence. You can vaguely make out Frank watching the two of you in your periphery, but you try your best to ignore it, instead opting to give Joel a reassuring smile.

"Let's just get you cleaned up, okay?"

You're grateful that Frank leaves you alone with Joel to tend to his nose. You've only met him a handful of times, but each time he'd somehow been able to clock the way you interact with Joel, the way you look at him. The last time you'd been here he'd subtly pulled you aside to give you a few words of wisdom.

"You do realize he's extremely unavailable, right?"

"I- I don't know what you're talking about."

He'd smiled, tapped his nose and given you a knowing look, "And I don't just mean because of Tess. That man is emotionally constipated, kiddo. He's an island." He'd laughed then at your confused expression, shaking his head, "Just be careful, s'all I'm saying."

You'd gone to walk away, forget the conversation even happened, when he'd softly called after you:

"And I'm pretty sure Tess would hang your head on her wall."

You think of those words now as you stand in front of Joel in the small bathroom off the landing, lip between your teeth as you eye the cut on his nose. It isn't broken, thank fuck, but you can see some dirt and gravel in there that you need to clean out.

"It's not broken," you tell him softly. He's sitting on the edge of the bath tub, peering up at you with a much more alert expression. The fall definitely woke him up, not to mention the choice words he and Bill had thrown at each other as you and Frank helped him up the stairs. He's still exhausted though, and he needs to rest.

"I know it's not," he grumbles, "Just wanted to give Bill a piece of my mind for once."

You laugh softly as you reach for the damp cloth beside you, bringing it up to carefully pat it against the gash on the bridge of his nose. You can feel his eyes on you, watching and assessing as you do your best to wipe the area clean.

"I can do that myself," he murmurs.

"I just wanna help," you say quietly, and your eyes fall to his in a knowing glance. He doesn't seem to remember though, just nods and lets you carry on.

It's rare for you to be this alone with him. And by that, you mean this far from Tess. You're painfully aware that it would be impossible for her to walk in at any moment, to see the way you're standing over him, touching him. Frank's words from last time echo in your head but you're not quite sure you believe them; would she really be that angry if she knew how you felt about Joel? It's not like he'd return it, right? The man is twenty years your senior and, as Frank said, extremely unavailable. Not to mention Tess and Joel's relationship has been a point of confusion to you for a year now, still unsure exactly what they are to each other - would she really care?

You reach for the antiseptic - one of the many perks of having an injury in a supply house - and carefully dab some onto the cloth. Your hand trembles a bit as you reach up to carefully hold Joel's chin, your thumb getting lost in his greying beard.

"You haven't shaved in a while," you breathe, your eyes meeting his, and you wonder if you've already crossed a line by even noticing.

He doesn't seem to mind though, sighing deeply, "I haven't slept in a while, so let's hurry this up," he eyes the cloth, "Don't gotta warn me, just do it."

His words bring you back to the present, and you slowly ease the cloth down onto his cut. He hisses a bit, a normal reaction, but it only takes a few seconds to clean and then you're already reaching for a bandage, reluctantly letting go of his chin.

"I was worried about you, before. In the car," you tell him softly, unpeeling the adhesive, "Why haven't you been sleeping?"

His eyes fall to the floor, "I just don't sleep good. Never have."

"Is there anything I can do?"

He shrugs, gives you a humorless laugh, "Handful o' pills and a couple sips o' whiskey usually does the trick."

It makes sense, then, why these past few weeks he's seemed worse. It's been longer than usual since your last supply run and the three of you had started running out of vital supplies over a week ago now, not only for buyers but for yourselves. Joel had written whiskey near the top of the latter list, along with hydromorphone which he'd underlined several times.

"You should've told me you weren't feeling well," you murmur, applying the bandage carefully, "I could've driven the whole way."

"Could've, should've," he dismisses you with a grunt, "Doesn't matter now, does it? We got here, that's what counts."

You linger a little longer than you should on the bandage, thumb falling to gently trace the crease of his nose as you assess your work. It might scar, but it feels pointless to voice this - he already has so many, scattered across his face and neck like confetti. It hurts a little, knowing he's been through so much, seeing the evidence written all over him.

"My mom had this superstition," you tell him softly, a smile playing at your lips as you trace one of the scars under his eye, soft and delicate, "Whenever I got hurt, skinned my knee or busted my elbow playing, she'd bandage me up and then kiss it. She said a kiss would seal her love in there, keep me safe and protected. And if it scarred, that meant it worked."

He blinks at you, expression faltering a bit, "That's...that's a nice thought."

You shake your head, "It's silly, and not true. But... but I still do it anyway, even though she's gone. Just in case," you bite your lip, "I mean, who doesn't wanna feel a little more safe? A little more protected?"

Your gazes lock, and neither of you seem to move, caught in the stillness of the moment and the way your thumb is still stroking his face. You know you have limited time, maybe a few seconds before he breaks it, so without much thought at all you lean down and lightly press your lips to the bandage, eyes closed.

He inhales sharply, a sound that triggers butterflies in your tummy as you hold your mouth against his nose, soft and sweet. It's the closest you've ever been to him, even if you're kissing gauze and not skin - you can still feel the warmth radiating from him, sense the way he freezes below you. A squeaking sound pierces the silence, his hand squeezing the edge of the bath tub tightly. It startles you, your eyes blinking open as you pull back to look at him.

His cheeks are tinged pink, eyelids heavy as he peers up at you with slow blinks.

"You're tired," you breathe, unable to stop your hand from flitting to his hair, pushing a little behind his ear, "Let's get you to bed."

The Joel Miller in Bill and Frank's guest room is not the Joel Miller you thought you knew.

This Joel is loose, pliant. He lets you lead him into the bedroom with a hand on his back, lets you carefully turn him on the spot to reach up and undo the buttons on his flannel. Frank had told you on your way up to make sure Joel didn't get blood on the sheets, so you're only following orders, only doing what you were told.

"Sorry," you murmur softly, fingers shaking every so often as they toy with the buttons, sticky with his blood. Joel doesn't seem to notice though, retreating more and more into the sleepy state he'd been in earlier.

Once his flannel is off you assess his t-shirt and jeans, and you're not sure how to feel about the fact that they didn't get dirty in the fall. On the other hand, though, you're not sure you'd have been brave enough to take them off. Instead you help him toward the bed, pull back the sheets and carefully push him ahead.

"There you go," you whisper, helping him under the covers and pulling the blankets back over him. The sun is streaming through the window, casting the golden light of early evening across the bed, and while it's quite beautiful you shut the curtains anyway, knowing he'll sleep better in darkness. When you turn back around, he's already fallen asleep, lips parted, face peaceful. A different man.

You don't linger, even though you want to.

It's around ten o'clock when you decide to check on him again. You'd watched a movie with Bill and Frank, feeling more than a little unwelcome as Bill tossed you a few dirty looks every so often, though Frank repeatedly told you to ignore him. Now they're in bed downstairs while you pad from your own room across the hall to Joel's, turning the knob carefully. The hinges squeak a little as you open it and you wince.

"Who's there?" you hear Joel grumble from the bed. So much for just taking a peek.

"Me, just me." You push the door wider and walk inside, eyebrows going up when Joel turns on the bedside lamp. He seems a little more rested, although you know he still needs a full night's sleep. "I sent a message to Tess through the radio to let her know we're not coming back tonight - well, Frank did. Picked a song called Tomorrow or something like that."

"Hope it was the Johnny Mathis version," he mumbles, and you watch as he brings his hands up to rub across his face. He accidentally dismantles the bandage and you step forward without really thinking, hurrying to his side and reaching down to fix it.

His hand comes up to grab yours and you freeze in place.

"I can do it," he says, giving you a curt look and then releasing your hand to adjust the gauze himself.

Well, you suppose lax and sleepy Joel couldn't stick around forever. You stand awkwardly by the side of the bed, toying with the edge of the blanket as he rubs his eyes and sits up a little, leaning back against the headboard. He looks so much older in this light; you can see the little flecks of grey in his beard and hair that have been starting to get more noticeable lately, the crows feet, the wrinkles.

He's so handsome.

He turns to look at you with a frown, as if he's only just realizing what you said, "We can go back tonight, I'm fine."

"You're not and you know it. Besides, it's already past ten and now I'm tired, I won't be able to drive."

"I can drive."

"Joel," you surprise yourself by sitting down on the edge of the bed, narrowing your brow as you give him a serious look, "You can't drive. You almost fucking killed us both."

"No I-"

"Yes you did," your tone is firm, suddenly angry - are you angry? - "If I hadn't been talking to you, if I hadn't noticed something was wrong, you would've driven us off the damn road."

He goes quiet at that, frown deepening, the lines on his face more prominent in the low lamplight. You sigh, eyes falling to rest on where your hand is settled on the bed, only inches from his. Part of you wants to reach out and touch, feel the warmth of his skin, the rough of his palm - the other part decides to do something even more stupid.

"You called me baby."

It's out of your mouth before you've even really acknowledged it, and once the words have tumbled out you know there's no taking them back. Your gaze snaps back up to his, slightly surprised to see that he doesn't seem very shocked by your admission.

He clears his throat a little, averting his gaze and shuffling a bit under the covers, "Did I?"

"...Yeah."

You think maybe he'll say something else - anything else - but he doesn't. God, it really is like pulling teeth with him; he's so fucking beautiful but so impossible, never being able to expand on something unless prompted, never being able to answer a single question without jerking you around first. How the fuck has Tess managed to deal with it for so long?

The thought of Tess sends a wave of guilt through your body, Frank's words echoing in your head, but you shove it down.

"What made you... I mean why..." your voice is soft, apprehensive and shy in the quiet of the bedroom, "why'd you call me baby?"

A beat of silence. Then-

"Don't ask me that."

The mood has shifted, your sudden anger ebbing and his annoyance fading into something else, something on the brink of being real. He's avoiding your eyes, peering at the window with the curtains drawn and tapping his fingers anxiously against the mattress, so close to your hand. He's nervous; you're making him nervous.

You stay silent, hoping he'll speak again, hoping maybe just this one time he'll tell you what he's thinking.

"I don't know why."

The words are barely a whisper, almost like he's telling you a secret, and he leaves them hanging in the air briefly before amending - "Well," he sighs and finally looks at you, an emotion you can't place crossing his features, "that's not true. But... I didn't mean - fuck, I was passin' out, for Christ's sake, I didn't realize-"

He cuts himself off again, raising his hand up to press his fingers to the bridge of his nose, briefly forgetting the bandage. He winces when he comes in contact with the gauze, "Can I take this off? It's drivin' me fuckin' crazy."

"Let me do it," you say quietly, inching forward on the bed and reaching for his face. He flinches when you go to touch him, and your hand freezes mid-air.

"Sorry," he mutters, shaking his head like he's shaking off a sensation, a chill, "Go ahead."

With careful - and slightly trembling - fingers, you remove the bandage from his nose. It looks much better than before, no fresh blood in sight, and you suppose it's okay for him to keep it uncovered for the night. Without really thinking about it you gently thumb the side of his nose just shy of the cut, the tips of your other fingers brushing against his cheek.

"It's not too bad," you murmur, and before you know it you're suddenly cupping his jaw, feeling the weight of it in your palm. Your gaze falls to his lips, your thoughts going a mile a minute.

You realize you're close enough that you could kiss him, if you really wanted to. If he really wanted to. All it would take is one small movement, one little push from the both of you, one leap of faith...

And then he whispers your name, almost a warning, and it's like his thoughts are mirroring yours - like he can see exactly what you're picturing, wishing for. Your eyes meet his and you feel a flutter in your stomach when you see the way he's looking at you, a quiet hunger hidden in the deep brown.

You decide to test the waters. You lean in and softly press another kiss to his nose, this time without the gauze in the way. Just like you'd thought, his skin is hot under your lips, soft but scarred, and his smell - god, he smells so masculine and safe, invading your senses as your lips trail downwards to press a small kiss to his cupid's bow, then another to the corner of his mouth. It's sharp, prickly from his scruff, but it doesn't bother you in the slightest - in fact, you kind of like the dull pain, the way it grounds you, keeps you in the moment.

"Baby," he whispers, and a soft little whine falls from your lips without meaning to as your lips move to ghost across his mouth, going for another kiss - a real kiss.

He pulls away before you get there, but then his hand comes up to touch your face, big and wide. He holds you like you're precious, small. His baby.

"S'not right," he whispers, though his thumb strokes your cheek soothingly, "S'not okay for me to want you like that."

You close your eyes at his touch, breathing deeply, "But you do."

"Yeah, I do," you hear him murmur, "You know I do."

"For how long?"

He doesn't respond right away, just continues to stroke your cheek, hold what feels like all of you in his warm palm. You tilt your head a bit to the side, eyes fluttering open to look at him again. You catch the way his lips turn up a little at the movement.

"Too damn long," he sighs, "But that don't... that's not..." he brings his other hand up to cup the other side of your face, holding you still as he peers at you in earnest, brow furrowed, "Point is, we shouldn't... you shouldn't be out here alone with me. Tess knows how I-" he cuts himself off again, and you can see now how difficult it is for him to communicate like this, to be open and honest, "I told her it wasn't a good idea."

"Why?"

He laughs lightly, thumbs circling the apples of your cheeks, "'Cause look where we ended up." He swallows, eyes falling to your lips, "Look where you are right now, baby. Look where my damn hands are for cryin' out loud."

"Keep calling me baby," you breathe, a desperation in your voice that betrays your emotions, tears pricking in your eyes as the weight of this conversation comes crashing down around you. He wants you - he's always wanted you. His words to Tess about not wanting to put you in danger, wanting you to stay away, those soft looks you've shared in his apartment, the small talk, all of it - it's because he wants you.

"We can't do this," he murmurs, leaning in to press his forehead to yours, eyes closing, "I can't do this, you're so- you're too-" he groans, fingers digging into your hair, "You're so young, baby."

"I don't care," you whine, butting your head forward to chase his lips, suddenly yearning to be kissed and held and protected by him, be wrapped in his embrace.

But he pulls away, removing his hands from your face and shuffling back a bit on the bed, away from you. Your hand drops but you reach out pathetically for him anyway, moving closer, attempting to pull the covers back. His hands capture yours and he squeezes them firmly, shaking his head.

"You need to go back to your room," he tells you, and his tone has changed from soft to serious, "It's late and I'm... well, you know I'm fuckin' exhausted. And you've had a long day." He looks at you with pleading eyes, like he's silently begging for you not to put him in this situation, "Let's just call it a night, okay?"

"But-" you start, tears shining in your eyes.

"Please," he breathes, "Please don't make this harder than it needs to be."

You do not want to get up from his bed. But you do.

You do not want to leave his room. But you do.

You do not want to lie awake in your own bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about how his hands felt on your face, the way his eyes searched yours, the way his skin felt under your lips.

But you do.

You lie there for hours, thumbs twiddling against your belly, tears trickling down your cheeks every so often. All you can hear in your mind over and over again is the word Baby, punctuated by that soft groan he'd made, the way his thumbs had stroked your cheeks, how large and warm and safe he'd seemed in that bed.

All you want to do is be in that bed with him.

So it's no surprise when, as the sun is beginning to rise and that warm golden light starts to stream through your window, you crawl out from under your blankets and cross the hall one more time.

"We shouldn't" he murmurs when you climb into bed with him, when you tuck yourself into his side and bury your face in his shoulder, but his hands are already in your hair, fingers stroking along the back of your head.

Your bodies mold together like they've always been meant to fit that way, your legs tangled with his, arms trapped under big biceps and hairy forearms, breasts flush with his suddenly bare chest.

"I wanna be your baby," you whisper.

The nose you'd kissed brushes slowly up and down the side of your face, and he doesn't hesitate this time. He reaches up to turn your head, presses his lips against yours and lets you melt into him. Lets you trail your hand downward to unbutton his jeans in the silence of the early morning.

"You already are."

[morallyinept]

Keep Me Warm - An Ezra x Number Two One Shot MxM

This was inspired by this gorgeous lil' sketch of Ezra & Number Two, by the lovely @yomi345345345 - please check out their art, it's simply wonderful! 🖤

Summary: Stranded on the Green moon together, after Ezra's ship has been taken from him, Ezra and Number Two share body heat to stay warm during the cold night. Or, the prequel to Prospect nobody asked for...

Pairing: Ezra x Number Two (MxM)

Word Count: 8.8k - Apparently I can no longer write a short Ezra fic anymore... 😶

Scoville Smut Rating:🌶️🌶️ “It's the emergence, of.”

Check out my Scoville Smut Ratings here.

Warnings/Triggers: Frottage/jerking off/a smidge of oral/Ezra taking liberties - all consensual, even though Number Two doesn't speak/some fluff thrown in because Ezra is just a lovable scamp. 🥰 This is male-on-male shenanigans, if that bothers you, we can't be fwends. We bask in the rainbow here. 🌈 I've used some actual Prospect script dialogue towards the end.

NSFW. MINORS DNI! OVER 18’s ONLY. YOU ARE SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU READ.☝🏻Don’t come at me; you’ve been plenty warned.

I write for me, and I share with you. If this story isn't to your taste, that's fine. Just slip quietly out the back door. No need to make a fuss. It's just a work of fiction.

Author’s Note: My first MxM fic? 🤔 Yes, it's my first. And I loved writing it so much! I hope you like it too. I just love writing for Ezra so much, I always feel my own langauge change and adapt when I write him. Happy Pride month, lovelies! 🌈

MAIN MASTERLIST | EZRA MASTERLIST

Enjoy! 🖤

"You know," Ezra mused, his voice filled with deliberation, "I reckon it's high time I assigned you a moniker."

The silent being turned his helmeted head slightly, acknowledging Ezra's words with a subtle tilt that spoke volumes in its own right.

"Yeah," Ezra continued, a flicker of staunchness lighting up his weary face. "From now on, I'm calling you... Number Two."

There was a pause, the quiet intensity of their surroundings amplifying Ezra's declaration. He felt a surge of certainty in the simplicity of the name - a name that acknowledged Number Two's steadfast presence, his unyielding loyalty amidst the trials of their solitary pilgrimage.

"Number Two," Ezra repeated, testing the name on his tongue.

It resonated with a sense of purpose, a symbolic gesture that transcended their shared isolation. Ezra derived solace from the act of christening - a gesture that imbued their odd companionship with meaning within the austere beauty of their surroundings.

The Bakhroma moon was a stark and unforgiving landscape, despite its verdant lushness. A lonely splendour heightened by the unusual flora scattered across it.

Ezra and Number Two trudged through the otherworldly wilderness, their helmets and breathing apparatuses clamped securely in place, a necessary barrier between their fragile, human lungs and the moon’s inhospitable atmosphere.

Ezra’s voice crackled over the comms, filling the silence with a ceaseless stream of chatter.

“You know, if we can just find a few more of those mineral deposits, we might be able to salvage this trip after all. It’s been a rough go, what with the Screamer, but there’s gotta be something out here worth the trouble, right?”

Number Two walked beside him, silent as ever. His dark helmeted head turned occasionally to survey the landscape, his posture alert but stiffly composed.

He offered no response to Ezra’s monologues, his silence a constant heavy companion.

Ezra’s steps grew more animated, his words flowing faster as the quietude gnawed at him.

“And did you see those plants back there? Pshoo! The ones spewing out all sorts of shit? Never seen anything like it. It prompts contemplation on what other substances lie concealed in these environs, hmm? Fascinating.”

Still, Number Two’s silence prevailed. He moved with a fluid grace, his body language minimal yet precise. It was as if he were part of the moon’s scenery, a mere extension of its eerie calm.

Ezra’s frustration began to bubble up, his words spilling out even more rapidly.

“You know, just a modicum of conversation wouldn’t hurt, just to pass the time. After all, we find ourselves rather confined to aimless wandering and pursuit. An anecdote, maybe? Or even a question? Something to break the monotony?”

Number Two carried on, seemingly ignoring him; his face obscured and unreadable behind the dark, reflective visor of his helmet. There was no sign of acknowledgment, no hint of engagement.

His silence was impenetrable, a wall that Ezra found both infuriating and oddly compelling.

“Seriously, man, how do you do it? Just… not talk? I get that you’re the strong, silent type, but this is... well, it's ridiculous, is what it is.” Ezra’s voice had taken on an edge of desperation, a need to fill the void left by Number Two’s reticence.

As they continued their trek, the landscape around them shifted subtly into an oncoming dusk. Strange, glimmery dust notes filled the air, waltzing around them. The air, though unbreathable, was thick with the scent of the alien flora, detectable even through their suits’ filtration systems.

"Ever hear 'bout them channel rats, Number Two? Pesky varmints they are. Crafty, sneaky little devils, they'd gnaw through all sorts of electrical equipment and pipework just to get to what they fancied. Spraying their stink piss all over the joint."

Ezra continued to speak, his words falling on deaf ears as Number Two remained steadfastly silent and focused on their surroundings.

“Yeah, those rat bastards were a real menace. People had to come up with all sorts of traps and tricks to keep ‘em out. Clubbed a few in my time. And don’t tell me that they don’t feel it. Shit, I can still hear the gnarly screams from their rotten little gums.”

Ezra’s frustration began to bubble up, his words spilling out even more rapidly.

“And you know what? Channel rats are smart, too. They’d learn from their mistakes, adapt to the new traps. You had to stay one step ahead of 'em.”

Ezra pressed on, his words now a torrent and rousing no response from his mute companion.

“You know, when we get back, assuming we do get back, I'll require a respite. A locale of warmth and aqueous tranquillity. None of this miserable, barren rock nonsense.”

The figure beside him remained inscrutable. Number Two’s silence seemed almost deliberate, a pointed contrast to Ezra’s verbal deluge. The quiet stretched on, amplifying every sound Ezra made, every crunch of their boots on the dry soil.

Ezra finally fell silent, his words and patience spent.

They walked on in the oppressive quiet, the only sounds the rhythmic hiss of their breathing tubes and the soft rustle of the wind.

It was in this silence that Ezra began to notice things he hadn’t before: the delicate patterns on the plants, the subtle shifts in the moon’s topography, the way the light played off the surface of distant rocks.

Despite his vexation, Ezra also realised that Number Two’s silence was not entirely empty; it was full of an awareness that Ezra’s chatter had masked.

In the moments of silence that Ezra chose to withhold his voice, his mind became a tempestuous sea of thoughts, swirling and churning with an incessant rhythm.

Each lull in conversation became an opportunity for his thoughts to unfold and proliferate, like a relentless cascade of inquiries and analyses.

Amidst the vast solitude of the lunar landscape, Ezra's mind whirred and ticked with a precision akin to the mechanisms of his survival gear. Every decision, every gesture made by Number Two, became fodder for his introspection.

He dissected their interactions with meticulous scrutiny, searching for hidden meanings and untapped potentials.

Ezra often found his clicking thoughts drifting back to the recent betrayal that had marooned them on this unforgiving terrain.

The memory was a jagged shard lodged deep within his consciousness, bleeding out of his cerebral cortex as a bitter reminder of how quickly trust could unravel in the face of desperation.

It had started with whispers of dissent among the crew, subtle murmurs of discontent that Ezra had dismissed as the normal grumblings of a long journey.

But as they neared their destination within the reach of the gas giant of Bakhroma, tensions had simmered to a boiling point, fueled by dwindling resources and mounting frustrations.

Then came the pivotal moment - a confrontation that erupted in bloody violence, bolt pistols flashing in the harsh fade of the ship's corridors.

Ezra remembered the sting of betrayal, the shock of seeing faces he’d trusted turning against him. His ship, a testament to his determination and ingenuity, had become a battleground; a prize coveted by those who saw opportunity in the chaos.

Ezra's heart had palpitated with rapidity as he’d staggered into the dimly illuminated confines of his beloved Testing Screamer, the metallic tang of apprehension lingering on his palate after a blow to the face.

The altercation had swiftly escalated beyond his prognostication, transforming erstwhile comrades into adversaries whose countenances bore a visage of hostility.

"Imbecilic fool," inveighed Mira, her hand clutching a bolt pistol still emitting wisps of smoke from the recent discharge of warning shots. "You fancied your Aurelac and silver-tongued rhetoric could maintain our fealty? Look where such folly has led you, Ezra."

Despite his attempts at composure, Ezra's voice quavered as he scanned the faces of those allies who now confronted him with gazes laden with resentment. Behind their stern visages lurked avarice, drawn by the allure of the precious Aurelac now adorning the control console, seemingly mocking his plight.

"You misconstrue," Ezra implored, his tone trembling despite efforts to exhibit fierceness. "Resolution may yet be attained. The resource is ample for all."

"Ample?" derided Kael, his posture belligerent as he loomed over Ezra. "You presume we share such sentiments? We’re done with your stratagems, Ezra. Dominion of this lunar shit stink belongs to the resolute."

With a disdainful smirk, Mira gestured toward the control console. "Take it all," she commanded, her voice authoritative. "Let us discern what further hoards he keeps from us."

Ezra's heart sank as they rifled through his belongings, casting aside supplies and personal effects with callous disregard. The weight of their perfidy pressed upon him as heavily as the moon’s gravity.

"Oi. You err grievously," Ezra warned, aware his entreaties would fall upon deaf ears.

"And what error might that be?" taunted Kael. "In placing trust in you? We’re cognizant of your exploits, Ezra. Tales abound of your abandonment of others to perdition in this desolation. Now, fate has found you a victim of your own plotting."

They shoved him roughly against the bulkhead, their expressions a blend of scorn and triumph.

"Your denouement nears, Ezra," declared Mira, her words carrying a finality that chilled him to the core. "Alone you shall perish, as befits your deserts."

As the hatch of his Testing Screamer sealed shut behind him, consigning Ezra to his fate upon the unforgiving lunar regolith, they had taken everything - his ship, his supplies, even his precious Aurelac loot.

They had left him stranded on this desolate moon, taunting him with the inevitability of his demise. The bitter taste of betrayal lingered in Ezra's thoughts, a reminder of the frailty of trust.

But through the turmoil, Number Two stood stoically by Ezra's side, a stalwart presence amidst the tumult. His physiognomy remained obscured behind the visor of his helmet, but he was an inscrutable and unyielding guardian nonetheless.

Ezra swallowed hard, wounded in pride, yet undaunted in spirit, as he pushed the memory back into the bile.

"They err," he murmured softly, more to himself than to any present. "But I shall not meet my end alone. Not while you abide with me, Number Two."

Though Number Two offered no verbal response, Ezra discerned a subtle affirmation in the slight incline of his helmeted head. It sufficed.

As Ezra and Number Two traversed the stark, alien landscape of the moon, the days blurred together, marked by the relentless pursuit of survival amidst the desolation that surrounded them.

Yet amidst the hardship, a gradual bond had cemented a strong hold in its weary foundation.

As the turns stretched on the moon, Ezra found himself increasingly vexed by the enigmatic mutisim of his companion.

What had initially been a curious anomaly had morphed into a persistent irritation, chumbling at him like the relentless pollen dust that periodically swept across their encampment.

Ezra's agitation simmered beneath the surface, fueled by the unending quiet punctuated only by the mechanical hum of their equipment and the occasional gusts of wind.

He had grown accustomed to filling the void with his own voice, a habit honed over rotations of solo expeditions and the camaraderie of lively crewmates aboard long-haul ships.

But with Number Two, there was no banter, no exchange of thoughts or stories - just a void that Ezra struggled to reconcile with his inherent need for human interaction.

"It's like conversing with a stone wall," Ezra muttered one evening, his frustration palpable as he tinkered with their malfunctioning comms device. A device, for all intents and purposes, that was useless if it was only one way.

"You could at least grunt or something. Anything would be better than this fuknugt silence!"

Number Two, as ever, remained stoically silent.

His presence, while ostensibly comforting in its constancy, increasingly felt like a barrier to Ezra’s sanity. The more time they spent together, the more Ezra yearned for the simple act of a verbal spar that had once been so commonplace.

Number Two was an enigma, a cipher wrapped in layers of sibylline hush. Ezra found himself perpetually bewildered by his companion’s reticence, a reticence so absolute it bordered on the preternatural.

Number Two never uttered a word - not a syllable, not a whisper. This unbroken silence was as perplexing as it was captivating.

To further compound the mystery, Number Two wore his helmet almost constantly, concealing his visage behind an impenetrable barrier.

Ezra’s glimpses of Number Two’s face were exceedingly rare and fleeting, reserved only for the moments when he removed the helmet to slip into his cot for the night.

These brief interludes offered tantalisingly scant details: a strong jawline, a pair of dark eyes that gleamed with unfathomable depth, and a visage marked by a delphic, yet unnerving calm.

In the beginning, Ezra had attributed Number Two’s quietude to an inherent taciturnity, perhaps a disposition marked by introversion or a cautious demeanour necessitated by the perils of their vocation.

Yet, as time moved forward, it became incontrovertibly evident that Number Two’s muteness was not merely elective, but an intrinsic characteristic of his being.

Despite - or perhaps because of - his silence, Number Two was an indispensable ally.

His movements were imbued with a prodigious grace and precision, suggesting either rigorous training or an innate affinity for the hostile environments they navigated.

Ezra's intrigue with Number Two was tinged with a sense of melancholy. The lack of verbal communication heightened his awareness of subtle signals, pushing Ezra to interpret the silent lexicon of body language.

Gradually, he cultivated an intuitive understanding of Number Two’s needs and responses, fostering a rapport that travelled galaxies beyond the limitations of spoken language.

Yet, the conundrum persisted.

Who was Number Two? From whence had he come? Why did he eschew speech with such unyielding constancy? Why had he stayed with Ezra instead of joining the others in the theft of his ship?

Ezra had posed these inquiries in myriad forms, each time hoping to elicit some fragmentary revelation.

However, Number Two would respond only with a laconic shrug or a tilt of his heavily helmeted head, leaving Ezra ensnared in an ever-deepening labyrinth of curiosity.

As Ezra and Number Two trudged across the lunar surface after a hard day, their weary steps finally led back to the refuge of Ezra's makeshift tent; a remnant of his earlier prospecting endeavours with a now-betrayed team.

The tent stood as a camouflage solitary sentinel against the lunar forest, its taut fabric fluttering.

Together, they ducked beneath the low flap, finding respite from the unrelenting heat of the day. Inside, the air was cool and still, a stark contrast to the swampy environment outside.

The dim light filtering through the tent's translucent panels cast eerie shadows on the plant dust that coated finely over everything.

“We find ourselves fortunate," Ezra commented, his tone laced with a measure of gratitude, as he extracted a handful of Bitz Bars from an assortment of containers arranged under a collapsible table. "A small cache remains. Sufficient, albeit their flavour leaves much to be desired. Like chewing grit."

Number Two inclined his helmeted head slightly, acknowledging Ezra's words with a silent nod. Though his features remained obscured behind the reflective surface, Ezra imagined a glint of understanding in his companion's stance - a shared appreciation for the small comforts that sustained them amidst their trials.

Ezra's gaze shifted to the temperature gauge on the tent's control panel, noting the steady drop in temperature as the night approached.

"It's getting colder out there as the turns go," he observed aloud, more to himself than to Number Two. "We'll need to conserve our resources."

After stripping to their thermals, Number Two moved silently to a corner of the tent, where their sleeping cots lay neatly arranged. He settled onto his cot with practised efficiency.

The nights were bitterly cold on the alien moon. The temperature would plummet leaving Ezra and Number Two shivering in their flimsy tent.

Their makeshift shelter, equipped with an air filter and a meagre stash of tasteless sustenance, did little to stave off the icy chill that crept in through every seam and crevice. The cold descended with such a ferocity that Ezra, accustomed to the stark conditions of space for many rotations, still found unexpectedly biting.

Ezra perched on his cot, teeth chattering despite his efforts to keep warm. The blanket he had was woefully inadequate for the freezing night. Across from him, Number Two lay still, silent as ever, seemingly impervious to the cold.

“Shit, it’s colder than a witch’s tit,” Ezra muttered, rubbing his large hands together.

He glanced over at Number Two, his face still obscured by his helmet’s visor. Peculiarly, he often slept whilst still wearing it.

"Don’t you feel this damn cold?" Ezra grumbled, his voice tinged with frustration and a touch of desperation.

He longed for any sign of shared chagrin, but Number Two offered no response, leaving Ezra to shiver alone.

Ezra sighed heavily, acutely aware of the necessity ahead, though a subtle unease tinged his resolve. He knew he had to do it - he needed to keep warm, and that meant taking action despite any discomfort it may bring.

“Well, friend, desperate times call for desperate measures,” Ezra said, more to himself than to his silent companion.

He traipsed to Number Two’s cot, his breath visible in the frigid air.

Number Two laid unmoved, but his posture guarded and forbidding. Ezra could sense the unspoken warning in the set of Number Two's shoulders, the subtle shift that spoke volumes of his reluctance to share such intimacy.

But Ezra was undeterred. He had faced down adversaries far more formidable than a reticent companion on the Green moon’s surface.

With a calm demeanour that belied the urgency of their situation, he stepped closer, careful not to invade his space, but intent on bridging the divide between them nonetheless.

"Survival demands sacrifice," Ezra continued, his tone retaining its calculated calmness. "We both know this."

Ezra's breath formed misty wisps, each exhale a visible testament to the inhospitable conditions they faced. He didn't fully comprehend why he persisted, why he was compelled to press forward, or where he summoned the fortitude. He'd been solitary for as long as he could recall, and he possessed nothing left to forfeit for a favour.

"We're not allies by choice," Ezra acknowledged, his voice lowering slightly, laden with an air of veiled threat. "But we’re bound by necessity now. Share our warmth or face the consequences."

Without waiting for a response - knowing none would come - Ezra lifted the edge of Number Two’s blanket and simply slid in beside him.

The cot was narrow, forcing them to lie close together, but the proximity brought an immediate, albeit slight, warmth.

Ezra could feel the furnace radiating from Number Two’s body, even through his thermal undergarments, and he hoped his own eventual warmth would provide some relief in return.

“There, that’s a bit better,” he said, settling in and pulling the blankets tightly around them both.

Number Two did not react, his steady breathing the only sign of life. Ezra tried to ignore the oddity of the situation, focusing instead on the practical necessity of not losing any extremities.

The silence stretched on, the only sound the faint hum of the air filter working to keep their atmosphere breathable.

Ezra found himself talking just to fill the void, as he often did.

“We’ve been through a lot, you and I. It’s kinda funny, isn’t it? How things turn out.”

Number Two’s breathing was his only answer, but Ezra took some comfort in the shared warmth, the unspoken camaraderie that had grown between them despite - or perhaps because of - Number Two’s perpetual silence.

The cold had become unbearable, and even the most stoic of men could not resist its relentless assault.

In the dim light of the tent's interior, Ezra watched with keen interest as Number Two, with deliberate and uncharacteristically hesitant movements, soon reached up to unfasten his helmet.

The hiss of decompression broke the tense silence, and slowly, the helmet was lifted away, revealing the man beneath.

Ezra's eyes, usually narrowed with suspicion and calculation, widened in genuine curiosity as he beheld Number Two's features up close for the first time.

The man's visage was a study in contrasts - his skin unmarred by the harsh environment they navigated, with a pallor that bespoke long hours spent beneath protective gear.

High cheekbones and a strong jaw framed a face that, while youthful compared to Ezra's, still bore the marks of experience and resilience.

Number Two was a man of elusive elegance, a contrast so stark to Ezra that it verged on the ludicrously inexplicable. Though only marginally younger - perhaps in his late thirties to Ezra’s mid-forties - Number Two possessed an aura of ageless composure that defied the harshness of their shared environment.

His hair, a subtle marvel to Ezra, retained a softness that seemed impossible amidst their gruelling circumstances. Where Ezra's own hair lay perpetually slicked with the grease of sweat and grime, clinging to his scalp in unkempt tangles, Number Two's locks fell in gentle waves.

There was a delicate lustre to them, as if they'd somehow evaded the clutches of the moon’s pervasive dust and unrelenting sun. It was a detail Ezra found himself ruminating upon, wondering how such softness could be maintained in such an unforgiving place.

Ezra's fascination didn’t halt at Number Two’s hair. His face had an almost serene quality that Ezra found both perplexing and attractive.

But it was Number Two’s scent that truly unwound Ezra as he breathed in at this close proximity; a sensory anomaly in their otherwise fetid and stale world.

Where Ezra himself was perpetually ensconced in the odorous amalgam of sweat, metal, and the acrid bite of his stagnicity, Number Two exuded a fragrance that was subtly intoxicating.

It was not the harsh, synthetic smell of antiseptics or the overpowering scent of days without a charge under the refresher, but rather a delicate, almost ethereal aroma.

There were notes of something faintly floral, perhaps reminiscent of far-off fields untouched by industrial hands, intertwined with a clean, crisp undertone that suggested a natural purity.

This enigmatic cleanliness, an olfactory oasis amidst their shared desolation, only deepened the mystery surrounding Number Two. Ezra could not fathom how, in the midst of their endless toiling and survival, this man could retain such an air of immaculate tranquillity.

"You've been secluding more than just your voice, haven't you?" Ezra muttered, his tone a mixture of bemusement and grudging respect as he looked into the man’s dark eyes, reflecting his own hawkish features back. "A man of many secrets."

Number Two's gaze met Ezra's, and in that silent exchange, there was a recognition of shared burdens and mutual reliance. For all the mystery that surrounded him, there was a depth to Number Two that spoke of untold stories and unspoken alliances.

Ezra, ever the observer, noted the subtle lines around Number Two's eyes, the faint hint of weariness that belied his composed exterior. There was a strength in his silence, an unyielding resolve that mirrored Ezra's own, albeit expressed in a vastly different manner.

"Well," Ezra continued, his voice softening to a near contemplative murmur, "we've both endured our share of hardships, but your resilience seems far more appealing than mine."

The cold may have driven them together, but in the quiet space between breaths, there emerged a fragile understanding - a tacit acknowledgement of the bond that had formed amidst the unforgiving expanse of the lunar landscape.

In a moment of uncharacteristic tenderness, Ezra reached out.

His hand, rough and calloused from years of hard labour, moved slowly, hesitantly, as if crossing an invisible boundary he dare not cross, but did so anyway.

He touched Number Two’s face, feeling the smooth skin beneath the ghostly whorl of his fingertips. His thumb traced the line of Number Two’s jaw, moving upward with a kind of reverence until it reached his plush lips.

Ezra’s thumb brushed gently across Number Two's mouth, the touch both tentative and intimate.

The softness of the lips contrasted sharply with the hardness of their reality, and for a moment, the cold, the danger, the betrayal - all of it faded into the background.

"So soft... you're full of surprises," Ezra whispered, his voice almost inaudible, laden with an unexpected lust.

Number Two remained still, his eyes locked onto Ezra’s, the silence between them filled with a thousand unspoken words.

Ezra began to withdraw his hand, the touch too brief, the moment too fragile. Perhaps he had crossed a bound he would not be able to recover from.

But before he could fully retreat, Number Two's hand moved with surprising swiftness, gripping Ezra's wrist with a firm, unyielding hold.

Ezra's eyes widened in surprise as he felt the strength in Number Two's grasp, a silent message conveyed through the pressure of his fingers.

Without breaking eye contact, Number Two brought Ezra's thumb back to his lips. Ezra could only watch, mesmerised, as Number Two parted them and took the thumb into his mouth.

The warmth and wetness of his mouth enveloped Ezra’s digit, a stark contrast to the cold air that surrounded them.

The intimacy of the act was palpable, charged with an electric tension that neither of them had anticipated.

And he saw the soft smile splayed on Number Two’s face, filling him with a comforting warmth. Ezra’s breath hitched, his heartbeat quickening as he felt the gentle suction, the soft caress of Number Two’s tongue against his skin.

It was a moment that spoke volumes, a wordless exchange that conveyed abject need, implicit trust, and a burgeoning desire.

Ezra’s mind raced, caught between the surprise of the act and the undeniable arousal it stirred within him, a heavy ache forming between his legs.

He had always prided himself on his ability to maintain control, to navigate even the most treacherous situations with a calm, determined demeanour. But now, in the confines of their tent, with Number Two’s mouth sucking on his pollex, that control wavered.

"Deeper," Ezra groaned, watching as Number Two sucked his thumb all the way down the hilt.

Number Two’s eyes, dark and intense, never left Ezra’s. There was a challenge in his gaze, a silent question that hung in the air between them.

It was a moment of raw honesty, and Ezra found himself drawn into the depths of it, unable and unwilling to pull away.

The seconds stretched into an eternity, each heartbeat echoing loudly in Ezra’s ears. And then, just as suddenly as it had begun, Number Two released his grip, allowing Ezra to reclaim his hand, his thumb slick and shiny in the dim light falling from his mouth.

Ezra’s thumb, now freed, tingled with the cool sensation of Number Two’s saliva. Ezra’s desire was a complex amalgamation of longing and intrigue, a stirring he hadn’t felt in years.

His desire was not just physical; it was entwined with a deep-seated need for connection in the vast, isolating expanse of space. Ezra had always valued his self-reliance, his adeptness at navigating through life's challenges independently.

But now, lying next to Number Two, he felt an undeniable yearning for companionship, for the hot comfort of his touch, for the solace that came from knowing he wasn’t alone.

Chill fingers meandered in an enticing path up and down Ezra’s vertebral column, from the base where his gluteal cleft commenced to the nape of his neck, before exerting a gentle tug on his hair, compelling him to bow and dissolve.

He shivered from the intrusion of frigid air permeating the tent, yet his dermis felt akin to a conflagration. It felt as if his skin were ablaze.

Each point of contact from Number Two sent molten currents through him, incinerating him from within.

However, this was insufficient. He craved more, he needed more.

"Do you trust me enough?" Ezra pressed on, his voice a whisper now, laden with a mix of challenge and invitation.

Ezra’s fingers brushed lightly against Number Two's arm, a gesture both reassuring and insistent.

"Speak to me, if not with words, then with a gesture, a sign. Anything, if you don’t long for this.”

The quiet that followed was charged with anticipation, Ezra’s heart pounding with the weight of his own anticipation. He had laid bare his need for connection, for understanding, and now, in the stillness of their makeshift sanctuary, he awaited Number Two’s response, hoping that his words had pierced the veil of silence that so resolutely shrouded his enigmatic companion.

Number Two’s gaze, deep and inscrutable, met Ezra’s with a lingering intensity. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, he nodded, a subtle yet unmistakable affirmation.

The nod was a silent capitulation, a gesture that conveyed understanding, trust, and an unspoken agreement to bridge the chasm.

The moment the nod was completed, Ezra moved with a sudden, almost predatory swiftness.

He closed the remaining, yet minuscule, distance between them, his movements fluid and determined.

His hand, once resting gently on Number Two’s arm, slid upwards to cup the back of his head, fingers entwining in the soft waves of his hair as he rolled himself on top of his steadfast companion.

Ezra’s other hand found its way to Number Two’s waist, pulling him closer until their bodies were crushed together.

The warmth of their shared breath mingled in the scant space between their lips before Ezra closed that distance, capturing Number Two’s mouth in a fervent, possessive kiss.

The kiss was a conflagration of pent-up desires and unspoken words, Ezra’s lips moving with an intensity that mirrored the depth of his longing. He felt Number Two’s initial hesitation melt away, replaced by a tentative yet growing reciprocation.

Their mouths moved in a synchronised desperation, exploring and claiming, each oscillation of tongues a silent affirmation of the unspoken bond they had just forged.

Ezra’s hand slid down from Number Two’s hair to his cheek, the roughness of his fingers a stark contrast to the smoothness of Number Two’s skin.

Number Two’s hands, once passive, now moved with a determined grace, one finding its place on Ezra’s back, the other threading through his oil-slick hair. The touch was both grounding and electrifying, sending shivers down Ezra’s spine.

The melding of their bodies and the silent exchange of trust and desire, created a cocoon of warmth and intimacy amidst the cold expanse of the night.

Humping with fevered intent, rolling his hips against Number Two, desperately chasing that burst of tingly friction when their cocks brushed, collided and rubbbed against one another.

Back and forth, back and forth, building up a dizzying sweat under the stifling itch of the blanket now smothering them.

As they pulled back slightly, breathless and flushed, Ezra’s eyes met Number Two’s once more. His taste was intoxicating. Ezra felt the sinewy strength of Number Two’s body pressed against his own, a juxtaposition of softness and solidity.

And he observed the snicking smile splayed over Number Two’s face, enveloping him in a comforting warmth. His moist tongue darted out to lick a long, languid line up Ezra’s jugular.

And then, oh sweet Kevva... the sound reverberated through his bone marrow, a low growl came from his chest that sounded acutely animalistic.

It took everything Ezra had not to unload his balls there and then at the sound of Number Two's desire.

Their breaths mingled between them, swollen and kiss bruised lips with tongues swabbing the insides of their cheeks - each desperate exhale a warm promise of what was to come.

Ezra's hands roamed with determined purpose, exploring the planes and contours of Number Two's body. His fingers traced the hard lines of muscle, feeling the strength beneath the smooth skin, a stark contrast to his own roughened hands.

Number Two responded in kind, his movements mirroring Ezra's urgency. Their bodies moved against each other in a synchronised dance, a rhythm driven by the primal need for closeness and connection.

The friction of their forms created a heat that banished the cold. Blunt, dirty nails clawed and left marks, skin pinched until it was raw. Gasps were swallowed into the back of throats.

Number Two grappled at Ezra’s behind, pulling until he was breathless with the heavy crush against his chest.

The sensation of their hips grinding together, the pressure of their chests colliding, sent electric shocks of pleasure through Ezra. It was a physical dialogue, a conversation held in the language of touch and movement, each shift and slide conveying a thousand unspoken words.

The cot beneath them creaked with their combined weight, the confined space amplifying the intimacy of their encounter.

Ezra's breath hitched as Number Two’s thigh slipped between his, creating a delicious friction that made his nerves sing.

The grinding became more urgent, their bodies seeking not just warmth but a deeper, more hungry need.

Ezra's mind, usually so sharp and calculating, was lost in the sensory overload, each touch and grind of their cocks together through the fabric of their thermals burning away the layers of control he usually wore so effortlessly.

Number Two’s hands, strong and steady, found their way to Ezra's hips, guiding and pressing, creating a hedonistic rhythm that both followed and led.

The sensation of being both in control and relinquishing control was a heady mix that left Ezra panting wildly.

Ezra's arousal was palpable, an insistent throbbing in his cock that demanded attention. He felt the hardness pressing against Number Two, that was both exhilarating and overwhelming, the intensity of it threatening to consume him entirely.

As he pestled against Number Two, he felt the reciprocation, an equal hardness that spoke of shared desire.

“Can’t get enough, hmm? Greedy…”

His whispers were laced with curses and mutating corruption warming in the conch of Number Two’s ear.

“Are you sure this is pertinent? Can’t be starting something you don’t have the balls to finish, friend."

A simple pull of Ezra against him convinced him that Number Two was determined in his need. Something stirring in the very lucid centre of his core, something hot, all consuming.

Smirking, Ezra found himself contemplating the dynamics of their interaction. Would Number Two yield to his lead, deferring to Ezra's experience and assertiveness?

Or did the silent companion harbour a strength of will that might guide their decisions, regardless of Ezra's outward dominance?

He felt Number Two shift, fingers unravelling the drawstring of Ezra's thermal undergarments and pushing them down, affirming the gravitas of his intent.

A firm grip harboured around his balls left Ezra trembling from the compromising position, the ease with which he surrendered confounding him further.

“Kevva… oh shit, oh shit. Oh shit.”

Number Two curled his hand around Ezra's fat cock, letting his fingers caress the swollen head, a fingernail dipping slightly into the slit, smearing the slick precum down his painfully throbbing length.

Enticing moans spilt from Ezra’s lips, as he rocked into his hand desperately.

Soon, their bodies were free of constricted fabrics, nothing but the blanket huddled over them both. This time they were both slick in Number Two’s hand, both heads of their cocks gliding through his fist.

Ezra looked down at him in wonder as Number Two guided him closer, a moment of pause, reflection perhaps, before he pulled him down, chest to chest as they locked at the lips and Ezra could only yield with a muffled sigh of relief as he fucked Number Two's fist.

His lips traced a path across Ezra’s weathered skin, mapping out the contours with gentle precision. Lingering on the spots that gave him the most pleasure, he tugged at the skin of Ezra’s neck with his teeth making the older man hiss as he felt him out - hard cocks weeped into his palm as he stroked them both.

“You don't need to show shrewd gentleness with me.” Ezra gasped and then smirked as Number Two gripped around him tighter.

“Hold it like you love it,” Ezra remarked watching as his cock slid through Number Two’s affirmative grip singularly now.

“Ah, yeah…” Ezra grunted as his cock was pumped.

Number Two picked up his own cock too, embracing them together again as he jerked them succinctly.

Grunting at how good it felt, his balls clenching with every stroke, Ezra bucked his hips, fucking further into Number Two’s grip. He glanced down to marvel at the swollen, flush pink heads that oozed together.

An unruly, dark thatch of curls at Ezra’s own groin felt springy and damp with sweat as he took over and pumped them both together.

The feel of his own cock squeezed against Number Two’s felt Kevva sent and he struggled to find words to verbally describe it.

Instead opting for a slew of low grunts that punched from the back of his constricted throat. Ezra, with his weathered frame and a hint of paunch, wavered in contrast to Number Two's lean and toned physique as he stretched beneath him.

A pang of inadequacy cut through Ezra's pleasure as he mentally compared himself to his companion. He had always prided himself on resilience and adaptability, yet now he couldn't shake the feeling that he was falling short.

His frame, once wiry and agile, now bared the subtle signs of sagging with age. How he must look to the younger man, sat atop him like this for him to see and scrutinise bleakly.

But the intrusive thoughts were blown away into stardust as he glanced at the thick and pale pink cock pulsing against Ezra’s own ruddy swell.

He watched in rapture as his dick seeped unperturbed on to the head of Number Two’s.

His balls rested on the thick shaft, coiled dark hairs tickled softly on the underside of his dimpled thighs and ass cheeks as he knelt over his silent companion, looking down at him hungrily.

Ezra felt him squeeze around his hips, the subtle overhang of fat moulding around his fingers, and it didn’t deter or disgust Number Two as he looked up at Ezra with a quiet determination as he dug into his flesh keeping him there.

There was so much precome leaking from them both, filling Ezra's palm as it slipped around their lengths.

It left sticky, thread-like strings over Number Two’s stomach, and the urge to taste them compelled Ezra to do just that as he leant forward, legs sliding back down the cot to run his tongue through the drippy mess.

Hands were felt rummaging in his scalp, as Number Two grunted as Ezra’s tongue found its way down Numner Two's thick shaft.

He sucked the leaking head into his mouth, licking over it, and heard how Number Two released a torrent of low grunts in response.

He spat, so lewdly and loud, a thick globule of foamed spit hitting Number Two’s cock and sliding down it. Ezra licked it up, up all the way over the veined ridges, and over the bulb of his head, taking him into his mouth.

The salty tang hit his taste buds making his cheeks tingle in delight.

A hand was felt on the back of his head, telling without words that Number Two wanted more.

Ezra took him as far as he could go without straining, a slight prod at the back of his throat warned him it was far enough, but Ezra had always been a greedy man.

Plump balls rolled around his fingers as he sucked deep, and his hair was tightened in knots as Number Two yanked on the roots.

He wanted to take him right there and then, claim his hole with his cock bare and covered in nothing but their secretions. Wanted to feel the weight of his balls flush against Number Two’s ass as he buried himself deep inside him.

Wanted to unleash carnal ferocity as he felt him clench and twitch around his cock and begged him to never stop filling him.

Those thoughts all gathered at the end of Ezra’s own cock as he pulsed and gulped around his mouthful.

As his cock popped out of Ezra's mouth, soaked with his saliva, Ezra nuzzled into Number Two’s hand. His fingers stroked through the blonde wisp at the forefront of his head with some tenderness that rendered Ezra docile.

Traversing back up towards Number Two’s mouth, his bottom lip became entrapped between Number Two’s teeth.

He wanted to know what it would feel like as he brought the younger man to the precipice. That first moment he’d break through the tightest ring of muscle and watch as Number Two lost his grip on reality.

The slide of their genitals against one another again became all too entrancing, and Ezra felt his completion draw near.

“Are you faring close? I fear my composure may be sullied too soon.” Ezra whispered.

Nothing but another fervent nod came from Number Two between his low pants and gasps.

“Do it. Come for me.” Ezra instructed as he pumped Number Two’s cock with vigorous fervour. "Give it to me."

He was loud when he came, the tension in Number Two’s neck exploded out of his throat into deep, caustic roars as plumes of semen defied gravity.

Ezra came so hard after a few quick tugs on himself, that he drew blood from his own lips, the metallic tang burned on the end of his tongue as he panted.

His eyes rolled so far back into the furthest reaches of the cosmos as he painted Number Two with his thick, warm spend.

The pearly puddles decorated Number Two’s chest, splashed over pink, puckered nipples and coated the wiry, sparse hairs down the muscular plane of his chest.

Ezra's usually racing thoughts slowed to a tranquil pace, captivated by the enigmatic post-coital silence that enveloped them.

A conjoined lump of skin, gazing at Number Two, Ezra began to see beyond the surface - a man of null words, yet a repository of strength and unwavering presence.

For once, Ezra could find no words of his own to satiate the situation.

The silence that often separated them now became a bridge, tethering the gap between their differences and revealing a shared resilience forged in the crucible of their lunar odyssey.

For Ezra, accustomed to navigating the complexities of human interactions through dialogue and negotiation, this newfound appreciation of silence was revelatory.

Ezra found himself drawn into the depths of Number Two's gaze, a place where words were unnecessary and understanding seemed to flow effortlessly. Number Two's eyes, as they stared back at him, held a depth that Ezra couldn't fully decipher yet instinctively trusted.

"Are you adequately warmed?" Ezra enquired, receiving once again a solitary, fleeting nod in response.

He dipped his fingers in the pearlescent sheen and tasted their mix on his tongue, murmuring in fatigued relief.

He contemplated the potential for a deeper connection between them, sensing the unspoken currents that bound them together.

Yet, Ezra recognized the delicate balance they had already trod, realising that he’d already pushed the boundaries of their unspoken understanding as far as he should for this night. Despite his body screaming for a long, intense fuck.

As he began to roll away, he felt the firm grip of Number Two's hand on his shoulder, a touch that conveyed both restraint and something deeper.

He turned slightly to look at Number Two, whose apple-cheeked face revealed nothing but a steady gaze.

"Stay," Number Two whispered, the word barely audible, yet carrying a weight that resonated in the quiet of their tent.

Ezra's breath caught in his throat, his body tensing slightly as he registered the sound of Number Two's voice for the first time.

It was a moment he hadn't anticipated - a breach of the unspoken barrier that had defined their interactions since they first landed on this auspicious moon.

"All right," Ezra replied softly, his voice betraying his astonishment as he settled back into place. "Number Two, I'm all for trust and camaraderie, but don't misinterpret it as anything more than what is simply between our bodies."

Glued together by the warm spend, he spread himself over Number Two’s chest despite his warning.

Number Two didn't waver, but there was a flicker of amusement in the way his eyes traversed over Ezra’s shined face as he made himself comfortable on top of him in the confined space of the cot.

Ezra couldn't help but chuckle softly, a mixture of surprise and relief washing over him.

"Well, Kevva be damned," he said, shaking his head slightly. "You do talk."

In the soft glow of the stark morning, as the first tentative rays of sunlight pierced through the fabric of their tent, Ezra and Number Two stirred from their shared warmth.

The intimacy of the night lingered between them like a fragile, unspoken secret that could shatter at any moment, yet neither dared to breach the frontier that now enveloped them.

"Eyes to the horizon, Number Two," Ezra's voice broke the quiet as he strapped on his gear, his tone casual, but with an underlying tension.

Number Two nodded in acknowledgment, his expression unreadable once more behind the visor of his clunky helmet.

Ezra continued to busy himself, checking the status of their equipment with meticulous care, his movements precise and deliberate.

The weight of their unspoken encounter hung in the air, an unacknowledged presence that shaped the morning's routine.

He could still taste Number Two around his gums. Still smell his cock all over him.

"We'll head west today," Ezra said finally, breaking the silence again. "There's that ridge we need to investigate. Might happen upon something of promise there. It’s clear of Sater territory, I'm certain."

Number Two adjusted his gear in response, a subtle shift that Ezra noted with a mix of relief and a lingering sense of uncertainty.

"We'll take it slow," Ezra remarked after a while, more to himself than to Number Two, feeling the tightness of his lower back register, coiled from the precarious sleeping position on top of his companion all night. "No need to rush. We'll cover ground, but we'll do it right."

As they set about their tasks, Ezra stole occasional glances at Number Two, searching for any sign of discomfort or hesitation.

Yet Number Two’s physicality remained usually impassive, his focus unwavering on the work at hand.

It was as if they had silently, but collectively agreed to compartmentalise the night’s events, to preserve their fragile equilibrium in the harsh landscape.

As Ezra ambled, he absentmindedly fiddled with the tube of his tether under the unrelenting hot glare of the morning - as if the freeze hadn’t happened - a nervous tick he'd never encountered before.

His mind kept circling back to the subtle memories of the night. Each branding touch, every shared breath with Number Two, seemed amplified in the stark light of day.

The sensation of their bodies pressed together, the warmth exchanged in the cold confines of their tent, lingered like an ember in his thoughts.

He couldn't help but replay the intimacy, the electricity that had crackled between them, stirring a heat beneath his suit that had nothing to do with the suffocating environment.

His fingers trembled slightly, the memory of tracing the contours of Number Two's body and cock sending a surge of sensation through him.

The image of Number Two's face, contorting with pleasure, flashed vividly in his mind, making Ezra's cheeks flush beneath his helmet and his dick twitch involuntarily as it filled fat with blood again inside his suit.

Perhaps he would slip into the cot with him again, see where the night would carry them in its embrace as he found himself an abode inside of his willing counterpart.

As they scanned the horizon for any sign of valuable resources, Ezra’s earpiece suddenly crackled to life with an unexpected transmission.

The voice was faint, distorted by the harsh lunar environment, but unmistakably human.

“...distress beacon active... stranded... requesting immediate assistance…”

Ezra’s eyes gleamed with a mix of excitement and calculation. This was their chance, an opportunity to escape this barren moon and its endless challenges.

He glanced at Number Two, his mind already formulating a plan.

“Number Two,” Ezra spoke in a low voice, his tone laced with a hint of urgency. “Did you hear that? A distress signal. Someone’s out here, needing help I reckon.” He grinned insidiously.

Number Two’s helmeted head turned slightly, acknowledging Ezra’s words without a spoken response.

“We could use this to our advantage,” Ezra continued, his voice taking on a persuasive edge. “Imagine our gain if we purport to rescue them. Resources, equipment, maybe even a way off this pisser of a rock.”

Number Two’s body language shifted imperceptibly, a subtle indication of consideration beneath the layers of his suit.

“We move fast,” Ezra declared, his eyes narrowing with determination. “Head towards the signal. If they’re in trouble, they’ll be grateful. Grateful enough to be… convinced.”

With a nod from Number Two, they adjusted their trajectory, each step a deliberate move towards their newfound objective. Ezra’s mind raced with possibilities, plotting the encounter ahead.

They would offer assistance, gain trust, and then leverage their newfound allies for their escape. It was a strategic opportunity, a calculated gamble that could change their fortunes.

With cautious steps, Ezra advanced across the rugged lunar terrain, his senses keenly attuned to any sign of movement or danger.

And then through the underbrush, he spotted it. The figure ahead stood solitary, dressed in a worn blue suit that seemed incongruous against the stark green landscape.

Despite Ezra's approach, the figure startled.

Ezra's eyes narrowed slightly as he drew nearer, observing with a mixture of curiosity and wariness.

As Ezra prepared to speak, the figure raised a hand in a gesture that halted his words pre-sentence.

The man's voice, unexpectedly calm and composed, cut through the tense atmosphere.

"I've only just arrived," the man stated casually, addressing Ezra and Number Two with an air of nonchalance. "Just passing through when I spotted this old dig..."

Ezra exchanged a quick glance with Number Two, their unspoken communication conveying a shared sense of caution.

The man's presence raised more questions than answers - his calm demeanour and the mysterious mention of an "old dig" added layers of intrigue to an already enigmatic encounter on the bewitching moon’s surface.

"Curious," Ezra uttered, his voice soft, but tinged with a keen intensity that belied his suspicions.

He studied the man standing before him, aware of the nuances in his posture - the slight shift of weight, the avoidance of direct eye contact, the subtle hesitation in his speech.

Ezra's dark gaze sunk into the man with a scrutiny born of experience. He sensed that the stranger was concealing something, a falsehood woven into the fabric of his seemingly casual words.

“Well, if you guys need anything like a filter or some food-” The man began.

“Don’t see too many kips around these ways anymore.”

“Got word of the fade, couldn’t resist one last quick job.” The man said, a quiet tension lingered on his stance that Ezra recognised only too well.

"Not a kip, a returner…" Ezra remarked, his tone tinged with whammy as he processed the implications of what he’d just heard.

Ezra's brow furrowed slightly as he contemplated the significance of the revelation - the man before him was not merely passing through, but had returned to this remote outpost for a specific reason.

“I cocked it up for a time during the peak of the rush.” The man spoke and then noticed Number Two rummaging through his belongings with a relentless intensity that betrayed familiarity.

This wasn't the first time Number Two had engaged in such thorough rooting. He’d done this before with a practised ease as he pilfered.

“What’s he doing?” The panic rose to the back of the man’s throat.

“Is that a serious question?” Ezra pertained with some mirth.

“I told you, I just arrived. I don’t have anything!” The man protested.

“I believe you, gentle man.” Ezra glanced down at Number Two stripping the man’s pack diligently. "But my partner always needs a little convincing," Ezra continued, a wry smile playing at the corner of his lips. "He'll just kill me if I let you go without a thorough search."

The man, his expression a mix of resignation and understanding, met Ezra's gaze steadily.

"I never caught your name, friend," Ezra prompted, his tone implying both a desire for camaraderie and a subtle reminder of their roles in this tense exchange.

He was the arachnid and the man was the fly. It didn’t take a genius for them all to work out the stranger was immensely fucked.

The man sighed in defeat, eyeing Ezra with guarded uncertainty.

“It’s Damon.”

Ezra sighed too, a mixture of weariness and tentative relief escaping him like a breath of stale air. His shoulders relaxed imperceptibly as he extended a haughty chuckle in greeting.

The outcome of this exchange would be interesting.

“Nice to meet you Damon, I'm Ezra.”

Thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed this story, as much as I did writing it. If you did, please give it some love by re-blogging so others can enjoy it too. Thankies so much! 🖤

MAIN MASTERLIST | EZRA MASTERLIST

[abiatackerman]

Wine and drunken whispers

The air in Levi Ackerman’s office is thick with tension, as always. The slight reddish light of the afternoon is filtered through the dusty window, casting shadows on the wooden floor. Levi is sitting behind his desk, doing paperwork. His eyes are roaming over the papers as you knock.

You know Levi doesn't often call for someone in his office so you curiously open the door after knocking. You don't bother for his permission since you know he's already aware that you're coming, by the sound of your footsteps.

"You called?"

Levi looks up from the paper he was reading, hearing your voice. His expression betrays nothing as usual, but there is a flicker of something in his gaze. A brief moment of weakness before the walls slam back up.

"Close the door. Sit."

Levi speaks in a commanding voice as you nod and close the door. You walk towards his desk and sit on the chair in front of him.

"Don't tell me you want me to be your partner. For the ball, which will be arranged by Erwin tomorrow."

Levi raises an eyebrow at your words. He leans back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest as his gaze rakes over you, taking in every inch of your body.

"Is that a request or a demand?"

He retorts, his tone low and almost mocking. You laugh.

"I don't mind being your partner though. You're probably the only man who can control his own hormones."

You say, crossing your legs as Levi's eyes romas over your legs for a bit. Then his gaze returns to your face, his gaze intense and focused.

"You'll be right on both accounts. And you're the only woman worth taking."

He says, a hint of possessiveness in his tone.

"It's settled then. We'll join the ball together."

You say, looking right into his eyes, crossing your arms.

"Don’t be late."

The day passes in a blink and now the night has fallen, and the ball is in full swing. The hall is filled with the clinking of glass, the murmur of conversation. Soldiers and officers are mingling with each other, dressed in their crisp formal dresses and finery.

Levi is waiting near the entrance, dressed in the most formal black suit, white shirt and pants he has, the silver cloth of his cravat gleaming under the candlelight. He is leaning against a wall, his gaze scanning the crowd, waiting for you to arrive.

As you enter the mess hall, Levi's eyes widened a bit. He has never seen you like this... With the prettiest shade of red lipstick on your lips, eyeliners on your eyes, looking elegant and beautiful in that damn gown of yours. After staring at you for a bit, he finally snaps out of it as you approach him.

"You're late."

He says, not bothering to hide the gruffness in his voice.

"No, I'm just in time... Let's go."

Levi "Tch"s at your words but doesn't argue. His hand rests possessively on the small of your back, guiding you through the crowded room. His touch is firm yet gentle, a silent claim on you for all to see. You two make your way through the room, drawing glances and whispers from the other officers and soldiers. But as usual, Levi ignores them.

"Seems like everyone is shocked to see you with a date... Sorry I mean with a beautiful woman."

You say smugly and Levi lets out a huff of amusement.

"Can't blame them. I don't exactly have the reputation of a 'gentleman'."

Levi says in a dry tone. But the possessive gleam in his eyes tells a different story.

"What they don't know is... You are a gentleman... A huge one.'

You say softly and Levi shoots you a sidelong glance, his eyebrow raises slightly at your words. He opens his mouth to protest, a sharp retort ready on the tip of his tongue, but the arrival of Erwin and Hange cuts him off.

"Well, this is a sight I never thought I'd see."

Erwin asks, his gaze flickering over the two of you, taking in the sight of Levi's possessive hand resting on your waist. He raises an eyebrow.

"I thought you knew that Levi and I were coming tonight?"

You ask with a smile.

"Let's just say, Levi isn't exactly known for his charm and social skills."

Hange chimes in, elbowing Levi in the side. Levi grunts, shooting them a glare, but his grip on your waist doesn’t loosen.

"I know that too....  Anyway, now what do we have to do? Meet with the MPs? I hate those fat pigs.

Levi can't help but smirk at your words, a flicker of amusement in his eyes. Hange laughs loudly.

"Unfortunately, yes. We have to mingle and keep up appearances. But try not to insult them too badly."

Erwin says, his expression serious. Hange just laughs, clearly enjoying the situation.

"Say that to Levi... Not me."

Levi "Tch"s at your words, his expression darkening slightly.

"I'll behave if they do."

He mutters, glaring at nothing in particular. Hange snorts, clearly not believing a word he says.

"Yeah sure"

You reply sarcastically, rolling your eyes.

The ball continues, Levi and you spend the evening mingling and making small talk with the other officers and MPs. Despite Levi's initial reluctance, he is on his best behavior, trying his best not to insult or scare off the other guests. However, he can't help but keep a hand on your waist the entire time, a silent claim on you that none of the other men in the room can miss.

"Let's drink... I'm done with mingling."

You say as you both finish greeting everyone in the party. Levi nods in agreement, his grip on your waist loosening slightly as he leads you towards the nearest table where bottles of wine and other alcoholic drinks are served.

"I've had enough of the polite conversation for one night."

He mutters, grabbing two glasses and filling them with wine. He hands one to you, his gaze lingering on your face for a moment, taking in the way the lights from the chandelier above you cast shadows on your skin. Especially on your red lipstick.

"Thanks."

You smile and take off your heels and take a sip of the wine.

"I'm eating dinner and leaving."

You say sighing as you relax on the chair. Levi remains silent as his eyes roam over your body while you keep staring at the people of the ball. As a maid brings you both your dinner you furrow your eyebrows.

"Is that Erwin? Dancing?!"

You speak in a shock voice as Levi follows your eyes. His eyes widened a bit too when he notices Erwin dancing with some blonde woman, flawlessly.

"Probably someone from the noble family, Erwin couldn't refuse the request."

Levi comments as you nod and you both start eating.

"You wanna dance too?"

You ask playfully as you wink and Levi scoffs.

"Don't wanna ruin my reputation, or this party."

Levi says as you laugh and sip your wine.

"Don't worry, I can't dance too."

After you both finish your dinner you walk around to bide goodbyes to the people. You do the most talking as expected... Levi just accompanies you resting a possessive hand on your back. The whole time you were occasionally sipping your drink and since you're drinking after a long time, you got drunk easily.

"I think I'm.... hic.... drunk."

You say as you stumble on your foot on the way to your barracks. Levi grabs you by your arm and steadies you.

"Clearly."

His expression softens as he speaks. He picks you up in bridal style.

"Come on, lightweight. Let's get you to your room."

He says softly looking at your face. You wrap your arms around his neck and giggle like a kid.

"You know, Levi, you're not scary when you're not yelling at us."

You say as you lean against him.

"I'm not here to be scary."

"Why are you here then?"

"To make sure you don't trip over your own feet."

Levi says as he keeps walking like you weigh nothing. You laugh.

"You know.... Hch.... You're kinda cute when you’re not scowling."

Levi scowls at your words and looks at your face.

"And you're annoying when you're drunk."

He says as he reaches your room and opens the door with one hand, still carrying you. After entering he kicks the door shut and tucks you into bed. He removes your heels, and covers you with a blanket. But you kick the blanket off your body.

"Take my dress off first, it's hot!"

You speak and pout like a kid as Levi looks at you with disbelief. He flips you over and you gasp at the sudden movement. Your face is pressed in the pillow as you hear Levi unchaining your dress. Then he reaches your legs and tugs the dress down with a swift movement making you flinch. Before you can say anything he covers your body with the blanket.

"Stupid ass!"

Levi speaks in an annoyed tone as he folds your dress neatly and places it in your drawer. Then he turns to leave but you reach for his hand.

"Stay with me?"

He sighs at your pleading tone and puppy eyes and sits beside you, brushing hair from your forehead.

"Fine. Just this once."

[peppertoastuniverse]

pep reads: gojo satoru – long fics (pt.2)

Part 1 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ ☆ The Theory of Relativity by LuckyGh0st [AO3] [status: ongoing ◦ 11/13 chapters ] #gojo just loves you so much in this one You've lived your life without purpose. It's always been simplicity - sugar, flour, butter, mix, sugar, flour, butter, mix, simplicity, stability.

Everything changes when you find a man, bloody and beaten half to death, laying discarded in the snow.

or, Gojo Satoru is transported into a world where he doesn't exist, where you stand to change the course of everything with nothing but a kind smile and a generous hand.

☆ beyond the unending night by @stellamancer [AO3/tumblr: long one shot] [status: completed ] #the intensity of this fic omg

it is october 31, 2018— halloween in shibuya.

and you are trapped.

(you are unfortunate enough to be trapped in shibuya on october 31, 2018 in more ways in one. after many trials and many errors, you come to the conclusion the only way out is seeking out the man named satoru gojo.)

☆ you are not a god (jus the man i love) by haveuseenthis [AO3 ] [status: completed ◦ 2/2 chapters] [slowburn] [tw!ptsd] [friends to lovers] #SUPER SOFT SATORU

they said gojo satoru was a god. unreachable. faraway. meant to be alone. but you knew better.

☆symptoms and causes by @lostfracturess [AO3/tumblr] [status: on going ◦ collection of fics 13/?] [professor gojo x med student reader] [smut!] #pep is OBSESSED wit this AU he's arrogant, self-centered, and he's your professor. renowned for his brilliance in neurosurgery and infamous for his allure. too bad you have to work with him on this research team. now you're stuck with dr. satoru gojo, delving into the complexities of both the brain and the heart—and of how far you'd go for a love that could destroy not only him but you as well.

☆out of the shadows by @extralively [AO3/tumblr] [status: completed ◦ 50/50 chapters + extras! ] [slow burn] [eventual smut!] [original female character] #pep's fav OC character #the CHEMISTRY?

No one had expected Gojo Satoru to form a friendship with the unknown girl that joined school in the same year he did. Not even Gojo Satoru, or Yura herself, especially considering he’d been an asshole to her the first time they met. A complicated friendship was born, one that would last years to come no matter how many headaches the white haired menace would give her – he was like gum in your hair, she mused, too much work to cut it out so why even bother trying?

☆ gods, monsters, monkeys by yuzudrops [AO3: ] [status: completed ◦ 23/23 chapters + extras!] [SUPER slowburn] [eventual smut!] [original female character] [student gojo!teacher reader (but they get together like 10 YEARS after)] [angst] #pep binged this so hard #complex/strong oc

“I thought it’d be you, if I’m being honest.” “It’d be me who what?” “Who’d go mad. Who’d go on a killing spree. Who’d just wake up one day and decide none of us are worth anything.” “Damn, sensei. Didn’t think you thought so little of yourself.” Didn’t think you thought so little of me simmers beneath. She wonders how Gojou, of all people, knows which lines can’t be crossed when his entire Cursed Technique is full of asymptotes.

A grossly under-qualified graduate of Jujutsu High is hired to teach a class of Special Grades. They learn there is more to power than strength. It doesn't end well.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ

bonus! satosugu!

☆ to feel is to love by cj_ackerman [AO3: 10/10 chapters] [status: completed] [satoru x suguru] [tw!ptsd] [college!AU] #this was so so so cute #soft sugu x soft toru

In another universe, instead of his eyes being the most powerful asset, Satoru is blind. Because of this, he’s mostly alone, unable to be the star child his high-ranking parents wanted him to be.

It’s Suguru Geto that makes him believe he deserves to be loved, and that he is seen. Suguru learns that to feel, is to love.

[asteracaea]

We clowned for a Jerklie split. They were together in Mumbai.

don't fret, anon! i'm not so bothered by this stuff anymore because i honestly believe it's what they have to do to keep their real private lives hidden. i wish they could do it without the beards but it seems that they don't believe that would be possible right now. i don't like seeing it so i try to avoid stunts, but i have faith that it's just part of the game. don't forget that they are masterminds!

[justagaycryptid]

Ngl I/Me/Myself is the absolute WORST song that could have gone viral for Will especially on tiktok of all places because it is an incredibly nuanced song and tiktok users are not particularly known for their understandings of nuance

[ms-demeanor]

You posted about adhd and I was hoping to follow up to clarify something. I’ve explained to my partner a million times about how the borderline-hoarding mess of his space is very mentally draining to me, and he understands but we’ve both essentially accepted he won’t clean his mess because he can’t because of his adhd. You’re saying he’s actually being a shit head?

This isn't necessarily an issue of him being a shithead, but it also isn't a sustainable situation. It's not good for you and there's a level of clutter that's probably not good for him either.

Large bastard is a lot more clutter-y than I am. The solution we've come to is trying to keep our messes at least isolated from one another; he can have his messes and I can have mine, but he can have those messes in his spaces, not all over the place. Sometimes those messes migrate, and that's when it's important for him to make the effort to rein them in rather than trying and failing to make a daily effort to keep our entire shared space tidy.

I think when you say "we've both essentially accepted he won't clean his mess" what I'm hearing is resignation; you're not happy about this but you don't know what to do so you've thrown up your hands and he feels helpless and unsure of what to do to improve the situation. This is the kind of "it's fine" that isn't really fine.

I think it would be worthwhile for you to each separately think about the mess and talk about it together. Are there areas that YOU *need* to have not-messy? Both for utility and your mental health? Are there areas where you can tolerate more mess than otherwise? Are there areas that are going to be harder for him to keep the mess out of than others? Are there things he doesn't *know* about cleaning up the mess?

I'm obviously a big "communication communication communication" person so I'm going to recommend a lot of talking about stuff, which is probably going to mean a lot of thinking about and interrogating stuff. I'm going to say "talk to him about why the mess bothers you" which means you also have to really articulate to yourself why the mess bothers you (for instance I'm not actually *bothered* by a messy kitchen, but I know it's going to reflect badly on us - and me specifically b/c of presumed gender roles - if someone pops by and the kitchen is a disaster, AND a messy kitchen is going to be harder to use). Genuinely, sometimes knowing *why* something is a problem might make it easier for someone with ADHD to do something. And it's not that he doesn't care that it upsets you, it's just that "Oh if I don't wash my breakfast dishes Anon won't have clear counterspace to make lunch" might be stickier in his brain (and less hard to look at emotionally) than "this thing I forget to do upsets my partner so I should do it."

For the record, I think that people with ADHD should read up on Demand Avoidance and see if it might explain some of the issues that they have in their day-to-day life; I've seen some really unfortunate situations with friends where trying to do things that their partner needed became the subject of demand avoidance. *I* have experienced negative outcomes of demand avoidance. The solution to that, however, isn't to stop making attempts to do the thing OR to simply try harder to do as they're asked/told (which reinforces the demand), it's to work on setting up a situation where the partners' needs are not interpreted as a demand. This is fuck-off difficult and requires a lot of patience and care and many attempts to succeed and will be different for each person and relationship.

(Also for the record demand avoidance isn't *super* strongly linked to ADHD and it's not a definitive symptom; like Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, it is something that occurs in some number of people with ADHD and can be a useful lens through which to examine various behaviors; you don't need to have DA or RSD to have ADHD, and having DA or RSD also doesn't invalidate your diagnosis; they're symptoms. For me, DA often feels like "if I don't look at it, it can't get me" - If I ignore all the messages I've got they aren't real and don't have real consequences so I'll just ignore my texts. If I don't look at the vendor email about the order, the problem with the order isn't real and it won't get added to my task list. If I don't look at the requests in my inbox I can't let people down when I don't do them. It's a self-protective coping mechanism but it's *maladaptive* and I can't just ignore the vendor email or all my texts. I need to work on a way of doing the stuff that I'm avoiding in a way that makes it less stressful and doesn't hurt the people relying on me. That takes a lot of effort, personal insight, trial and error, and )

But before I dive into specifics I want to be really really clear about one thing: sometimes people are simply incompatible. Sometimes one person has such a low tolerance for "mess" and the other person has such a high threshold for "mess" that it can't be reconciled. It sucks that this can end up being a thing that people break up over, but it is MUCH better to acknowledge incompatibility as early as possible instead of spending years and years building resentment.

There used to be a great forum called MiL's Anonymous that I spent a lot of time on. It had a lot of people in a lot of difficult situations struggling to get by and hold their relationships together. The question that was used as a litmus test to approach each situation was simple: If you knew today that everything about living with this person would be the same in five years, would you stay?

Because you can't control your partner. You can't control the future. You can only control yourself and your proximity to situations that are harmful to you. If you knew, 100%, that things wouldn't get better in five years, would you be okay with staying in this relationship? If the answer is "no," then that's that. Don't worry about questions of whether or not your boyfriend is a shithead, start the process of ending the relationship because there's a good chance the situation is going to be exactly the same in five years.

If the answer is "yes," and you'd stay in the relationship regardless of whether or not things changed, then it's time to take actions to improve your life within the context of the relationship.

(No judgement on that yes or no, btw. If you would hate living like this for another five years, and you would feel like you'd wasted your time and hadn't done the things you wanted to with your life, get out. Bail. Go. It will be better for you and better for your partner if you split instead of spending half a decade building resentments and and problems that you'll have to spend another half a decade healing from.)

Also, a note: you describe your boyfriend's mess as borderline hoarding - is the issue *mess* or is the issue *clutter*? I have friends who are very tidy, but whose homes are very cluttered. They like things, they have many things, they keep many things around, but their houses are always clean and well-dusted and orderly, just with a tremendous amount of *stuff.* I am addressing all of this as though the issue is mess, not clutter. If your boyfriend's situation is clutter (the space is busy and packed with things but it is functional and clean) and your issue isn't with *mess* (things out of place, things not having a place, things that need to be cleaned up gathering in stacks, falling behind on regular chores like laundry and dishes and taking out the trash) then you definitely need to assess whether or not you are compatible.

For instance here's a room that is messy but not cluttered compared to a room that is cluttered but not messy:

That first room is a *mess* but it would be very easy to clean up in under an hour. The second room is fairly tidy, but would take significant effort to pare down and declutter. BOTH of these can be difficult to live with but the second one is not dangerous or threatening to anyone's health. (The second one is QUITE cluttered and if every room in a house looks like this it can be overwhelming to live with; this is actually harder to deal with in a relationship than the first one in a lot of ways. I don't have a lot of advice for what to do if your partner is a high degree of tidy-but-cluttered because I don't actually think it's a problem or wrong to have thousands of books or bins full of lego or a million kitchen appliances as long as you have the space and can keep it safe and well-maintained; this is a really significant compatibility issue)

Okay, all that out of the way, here's the hard work.

Talk about this shit

Talk to your partner and define "mess." Make sure you are on the same page about what you mean when you're talking about what a messy room looks like versus what a tidy room looks like. Gather reference pictures. DRAW reference pictures.

Explain not just that the mess upsets you, but *why* and *how* it upsets you. In this context don't think of it as your boyfriend's mess, think of it as an unpleasant roommate. Discuss this using "I-statements". "When I have to pick up laundry all over the apartment, I feel like a parent more than a partner." "When there are piles of miniatures all over the table, I feel like I don't have anywhere to do things I'm interested in." "When there are dishes in the sink, I feel frustrated because I have to clean before I can feed myself."

Discuss, frankly and openly, whether he knows how to clean. I'm not trying to make excuses for him here but a lot of people with ADHD have a lot of stress and avoidance around cleaning because they spent a lot of time getting yelled at for not knowing how to clean properly.

Discuss your needs, be firm about what you require but willing to compromise. You *need* some spaces to be clean, and some spaces may be harder for him to keep clean than others. It may be MUCH harder for him to keep a bedroom tidy than it is to keep a kitchen tidy; if you need a clean and empty bedroom with everything put away and he simply cannot do that, that is a compatibility issue. But perhaps you need *your* side of the bedroom to be very orderly and can tolerate a moderate level of mess and clutter on his side. Maybe you're really really bothered by a messy kitchen, but it doesn't bug you if the dining table is covered with projects and papers. Figure out something more workable than "his mess goes everywhere and i live with it because he's incapable of cleaning" because he probably is not incapable of cleaning and you deserve to have places in your home that are comfortable for you.

Reduce friction for cleaning

Sometimes the problem isn't cleaning, the problem is the many many steps before cleaning, or not knowing where something should go when you are done cleaning. One of the absolute best things I've done for myself for cleaning my space is getting a broom holder and mounting the broom to the wall. Sweeping is now essentially thoughtless. I don't have to find the broom or pull it out from a pile of fans or go scrounging around for a dustpan it's right there on the wall, frictionless. So here are some ways to reduce the barriers to cleaning:

Make sure you and your partner both know how to use your cleaning supplies and know where those supplies are. When I switched dishwasher soap I had to re-show Large Bastard where I was storing it and how it was used, because to him what happened was the dishwasher tabs just vanished one day and he didn't know what I was putting in the machine or the process I used. He sometimes puts tools away in places that I can't see (he's more than a foot taller than me) so sometimes I can't get started on a maintenance project until he shows me where he put the battery pack for the drill.

Consider making a how-to chart to or having him make a how-to chart to keep someplace accessible so he can reference it while cleaning. Goblin.Tools Magic ToDo is great for this. Basically a lot of the time people with ADHD have trouble knowing what to do from step to step even if they've done something before, so having a step by step guide can make it easier (I have notebooks full of step-by-step guides for everything from paying for my tuition to removing licenses for my customers to weeding my yard)

Remove obstacles; don't keep cleaning chemicals in the garage in a box that's behind a stack of parts, keep them in the room you'll be cleaning. Don't keep the cleaning supplies that you use to clean the bathroom in the kitchen. Sometimes this means buying two bottles of bleach solution and two scrubbers and two sets of cleaning gloves but having fewer steps (fetch the windex, fetch the paper towels, fetch the gloves) is often the key to getting things done (open under-sink cabinet and grab windex, gloves, and paper towels that are there instead of in the kitchen).

This sort of overlaps with the next category, which is:

Create Dump Zones

One thing that I've found that seems very different between people with ADHD cleaning and neurotypical people cleaning is that neurotypical people are good at getting to a point where the cleaning is "done." They have checked off their tasks and they have finished and it is over. There are *SOME* chores that are like this (taking out the trash is a binary state, the trash has been taken out or it has not) and some chores are perpetual (horrid cursed dishes) but I think with people with ADHD, some chores that are binary for neurotypicals are actually perpetual chores. For instance "clean off the counter" is not a one and done for me. "Clean off the counter" may involve a three day reorganization project. "Clean off the counter" does not mean "wipe down the tile and put dishes away" it means assessing whether or not I need to make vegetable stock and bleaching three tea containers and reconsidering whether or not the sharps container should live somewhere else and going through the mail and figuring out what needs to be responded to and taking out the recycling and on and on and on.

We have had company at the house for the last two weeks, so I asked large bastard to clean off the dining room table, which is largely a project zone for him. Cleaning off the dining room table meant putting away his meds (and since he's a transplant patient that involves a 30 gallon rubbermade tote), throwing away some trash, and totally reorganizing his workshop. It also incidentally involved picking up a table from facebook marketplace and moving my plants, which has now involved moving my former plant rack outside (moving buckets, finding and organizing planters and gardening tools) and taking the former table to the thrift store (not done yet) and cleaning the rug that was under the former table. So "either the table is clean, or it isn't" isn't really true for us.

HOWEVER "hang on we can't eat until the table is clear so let's drive to Pico Rivera to get that console table right now" isn't a workable plan, so you create dumpzones as areas of holding between the start and the finish of the chore.

A dump zone can be a laundry basket. It can be a craft bin. It can be a back room or under your bed. It is a place to put things that you are going to deal with later because if you deal with them now it is going to derail the thing you are actually trying to do, which is set the table for dinner.

Dump zones are vital to cleaning with ADHD and I recommend them for day-to-day cleaning as well. The day-to-day dump zones might be more for you than for your boyfriend. For instance, Large Bastard works with bullets and he sheds bullets all over the house. I used to get stressed when I found bullets when I was cleaning because are these work bullets? Are these recreational bullets? Are they in testing? Do they need to be pulled? Do they go in the workshop or the office or the garage or does he need these today so they have to stay on the counter? And the answer now is "that's not my problem naughty bullets go in the jar." Which is perfectly sensible because he gets to say "mystery yarn goes in the bin" and "art supplies go in the bucket."

I feel helpless when cleaning a lot of the time. I'm frustrated and lost and I don't know where stuff goes and everything I pick up spins off into three projects in my head and every step feels like a wall to scale. Dump zones help me with that when there's pressure or a reason for cleaning beyond day to day home maintenance. People are coming over? The bedroom is a dump zone, I'll deal with that later. I'm just cleaning up because I need to? Okay I can find a permanent home for this new dish soap.

AS A VERY IMPORTANT COROLLARY TO THIS:

Active projects do not go in dump zones while you or your partner are cleaning. This may mean designating a project sanctuary area like a corner of the table or one particular chair in your main room where a project can be placed so as not to be disturbed. (if my current crochet project ends up in the yarn bin, that may mean that I don't pick the project up for another three months, it lives on the windowsill behind the couch because that's where it'll get worked on)

Do not put things away for your partner, put them in the dump zone for your partner. Your partner has to be the one to put their own stuff away in a way that works for them. I tend to find that this naturally puts a limit on the time stuff sits in the dump zone, because eventually you'll go "hey where's my thing?" and will put stuff away. If that doesn't happen, it's still generally better to have stuff in a dump zone than all over the home.

Do not decide you know what things go together from your partner's stuff and try to "put like things together." The neurotypical urge to put like things together is the mindkiller(j/k). You do not know which things are "similar" in your partner's organization schema and attempting to organize things on your own is going to end up with all of the things "organized" being functionally lost forever from your partner's perspective. Large Bastard's mom would do this and it was infuriating, she'd say "oh I put all the electronics stuff in one box" and she would mean soldering irons, transistors, ham radios, HDMI cables, and cellphone chargers. We are *still* going through boxes of stuff that she "tidied up" when he was hospitalized in 2020 and 2021.

To prevent the need for quite so many dump zones over time, you can work on setting up landing zones and "homes" for projects and tools.

Landing Zones

Landing zones are places where things go when you come inside from doing various things. Sometimes your landing zone only needs to be a tray for your wallet and keys, sometimes your landing zone needs to be a place to take off muddy boots and put a trowel and gloves down before you shower.

To make an effective landing zone, consider what behaviors you're trying to minimize and whether the people using it are ACTUALLY going to use it. For instance I was tired of the corner of my hearth getting cluttered with random junk so I hung up some hooks and put a shelf and a basket there and it became a really effective landing zone for my bag and keys and the mail, but it was VERY ineffective for Large Bastard because it's by a door that isn't the primary door he uses to enter the house. As a result I always know where my keys and bag are but he has trouble finding his keys and wallet. He tends to enter the house through our bedroom and has an overloaded valet next to the door and that's usually where his wallet ends up. Mounting a shelf to the wall above the valet and putting a basket and a hook on it will be a better place for his stuff to land. It's not that he's not using the first zone because he doesn't know that it's there, or because he doesn't care about lost time when I'm searching for my car keys after he borrows them, he's not using it because it's not by the door he uses. That's all.

I have a landing space for when I come in for gardening that's different than the one when I come in from grocery shopping. I have a landing space for when I walk into the dining room instead of the kitchen when I get home.

Landing spaces prevent stuff from piling up all over the place because they are a limited functional space that should be used frequently. Mail ONLY goes in the landing zone. If you have mystery mail or if you're not sure it's safe to toss, you put it in the landing zone. You can't let the mail get piled up too high or you won't have a space for your keys. You can't let the change in your wallet tray get too deep or your wallet is going to slide off, etc., but you also don't just put change on the coffee table or your nightstand because the landing zone is right there.

Homes for items are just what they sound like. They're the place the item goes. It lives there. My meds live on my nightstand. You would not believe how poorly I did with taking my meds on my vacation because they weren't on my nightstand. A while back large bastard lost one of his sets of sorted meds and we tore the house up looking for them because he couldn't find them in his nightstand, which is where they live. *I* found them in his nightstand because I emptied out the entire top drawer (he had only looked on the top layer) and found them underneath a radio and a hammock. Even though they were *hidden* they were in their home, so they were findable. I recently needed ink for an art class. Art supplies live in a dresser by my desk. Ink lives in the art bin or the top left drawer. The ink was not in either of these places (it was on a cabinet in the dining room behind a teacup) so it took me weeks to find it.

Sometimes the reason that ADHD spaces are so messy is because objects have been assigned homes in places that are visible and if they get moved they get lost. This is a genuinely difficult problem that requires a lot of effort to solve and can involve a lot of trial and error for creating a tidy living space. For some people, open shelving and visible storage might be a good solution. For some people, assigning a VERY clear home and inculcating that location by habit is the only way to clean up a space. For some people one very cluttered corner to at least isolate the chaos does the trick (for me and large bastard open shelving doesn't work because anything in one place for too long becomes invisible; that means that I rely on assigning things homes and large bastard relies on having contained chaos and a general idea of where to search but what that DOES NOT mean is that he is clean or tidy. His spaces look like an explosion. But he can mostly find his stuff and do what he needs to do and as long as that's limited to specific places in shared spaces I can live with it; the dining room table can be a disaster, the kitchen cannot).

People organize things differently. It often takes a while for neurotypical adults to settle into an organizational style that works for them and ADHD adults may need to settle into a new system every few months for it to continue working. The cleanup and declutter is most likely going to be a permanent project that is always going to demand some level of attention from everyone in a shared space, but "my ADHD means I can't do it" is not really going to fly. Maybe his ADHD means that he can't keep his space tidy, but it doesn't mean you can't move stuff from shared spaces into dump zones or that he can't do stuff around the house.

If he's insisting that his ADHD means that he can't clean it is possible that he's not being a shithead, he just feels helpless and doesn't know where to start and has adopted the belief that he's a useless piece of shit who can't even keep a tidy space like a grownup because he's internalized a lot of shitty attitudes (hello, my internal monologue about keeping a clean house). But it's also possible that he's just being a shithead.

It's something that's worthwhile to investigate with him. If he's unwilling to make an attempt, then he's being a shithead.

It is also not your responsibility to rehabilitate another person. If he wants to clean and it's something he feels bad about and needs some help and support with the way that someone might need help or support for learning to use a mobility aid, that is fine but you don't have to be the one who gives him that support if it's detrimental to your health, and you don't have to be the one to teach him that stuff if it's not something you're capable of. And if he is NOT interested in working on making your shared living space more accessible for you, that is not your suitcase to unpack and you just have to ask yourself the question from the start: would I stay with this person if I knew the situation was never going to change?

IDK, I'm sure a lot of this reads like "anon you must take on the emotional labor of training your partner to be an adult" but it's really meant to be more of a way of assessing yourself and your relationship. If you created landing zones do you think he'd use them? Would he get angry if you assigned a laundry basket as a dump zone for his stuff while you tidy the living room? Is living with him long-term going to be comfortable for you if nothing changes? Do you have enough of a shared definition of "mess" that you're at least in the ballpark for what counts as a clean house?

anyway good luck, and a reminder to folks that I'm compiling a bunch of adhd resources and other information on my personal website, ms-demeanor.com. It's coming along slowly but it will eventually include stuff like ADHD cleaning tips and how to tackle a hoard, so maybe keep your eye on that space.

[weirdrandomtina]

So, I experienced some deju vu during this scene in Trolls Band Together:

John Dory grabs his backpack, says he's leaving (I'm done, YOLO, etc.), and then the last thing he says is "Goodbye Forever!", followed by Branch's distraught face, and the next thing Branch knows, all his brothers have left him and he never sees them again.

I was trying to figure out why that little snippet stuck with me, then it hit me:

Trolls Holiday in Harmony, when Branch is trying to figure out a gift for Poppy. He's worried about doing the wrong thing, disappointing her or freaking her out, and says "I CAN'T let that happen". He illustrates his point with Poppy packing a suitcase, and what does she say right before she runs off?

Really brings his abandonment issues into the light😢

I've seen a few comments of people being annoyed when Branch said to Poppy "aren't you going to leave me anyway", but they clearly don't understand how trauma affects people's mental and emotional state.

He knows Poppy loves him and doesn't actually believe she'd leave, but after a lifetime of being alone, even though he's happy and loved now, there's still that subconscious fear that he'll end up alone again. Poppy means everything to him, and he can't bear the thought of losing her too, especially as a result of something he's done (his grandma died to save him, and he believed his brothers leaving was his fault because he 'ruined everything' at the concert).

Sometimes this results in Branch trying to push Poppy away, which seems conflicting, yes, but again: trauma messes with your mind. He was already heartbroken and angry at his brothers, so he wasn't thinking clearly and blurted out his hidden main fear.

And when he says "everyone else [leaves me]" I hear "everyone in my life has left me so I must deserve to be alone, so you might as well leave me too."

And that's probably why Branch was so hesitant to be open with Poppy - 1. I might scare her away, and 2. why bother expressing my feelings to someone when I'll likely just lose them anyway. Plus he's still getting used to having someone to confide to in his life. Keeping emotions bottled up for years is a hard habit to get out of.

[prettyboykatsuki]

✮ tags ; gn! reader, established relationship, fluff, alcohol.

"Shouto,"

"Hm?"

"You're drunk,"

Your boyfriend leans his head on your shoulder and makes a noise in the back of his throat. "A bit."

More than a bit, you think. In actuality, you don't think you've ever seen him this drunk before. He's okay with alcohol, usually - but tends to stay away from drinking too much. You think the last time you saw him get actually drunk at all, you were both twenty and he was barely tipsy then.

He doesn't like getting drunk, he's told you before. A few times. The lack of control and hazy memories make him just slightly anxious, so he's careful around liquor.

You've been dating for years now, and unless he's living some double-life (a different one than being a hero) - you've never seen him get this wasted. Ever. To everyone else in your surroundings, it probably doesn't look that way.

But you've spent enough time to know him, and he's not like this usually. Nowhere near as absent minded he is now, at least. He hasn't been able to sit still since he downed that last bottle of shochu. He went to go play with Bakugou's cat, Momo and you couldn't find him afterwards. You lost sight of him for about half-an-hour until you finally found him in the living room while everyone else was outside, feeding Momo some treat that squeezes from a tube.

(You still don't know where or how he found where Bakugou kept the treats, but you decide it's better you don't ask. Plausible deniability, or something.)

You're both grown-ups, and you're not one to worry about his liquor intake. Still, though - you're worried. Even if it seems like he's not different to everyone else, you can tell. And it's bothering you.

"Shouto," You call out to him, your hands reaching to pet the back of his neck. He's a head taller than you, and a little heavy. Palms smooth against the prickly ends of his hair - tapered and neat. He presses his cheek to your shoulder. "Shouto, love."

"Oh," He says, suddenly remember where he is. He stands up but doesn't back away far enough to give you space. You're in a far off empty corner. Most people are in the backyard but Shouto wanted some air - so you're crowded against a wooden fence and wall with your boyfriend locking you in out by the entrance. He smells nice, you think - clean with a soft touch of aftershave. You look up at him. "Hi,"

"You're drunk," You repeat, watching him blink rapidly - bleary eyes and the faintest line of a smile whenever he glances at you. He's bent over, staring at you hard. "Is something wrong?"

His expression is the same as always. Unchangingly neutral with a strong and uncharacteristic rosiness to it. Your boyfriend is handsome, alarmingly so. You're aware of it constantly, but this new face knocks the air out of your lungs.

He's... pouting you think. But not fully. His lips aren't drawn together, it's subtle like most expressions on him.

But it's...there. You're not imagining it - the soft furrow of his brow, the press of his lips. His expression grows warmer and it only makes you more confused. He shakes it off, all of a sudden, a micro-expression that fades just as quickly as it appears.

"I'm okay."

"Are you?""

He blinks slowly at that. Concern aside, you can't help but think he's cute like this. His ears are pink enough to stick out against his skin, cold air making them flush even darker.

"I'm okay," He says, then looks at you. He sobers up if only for that moment. "Had something on my mind."

"Something you can't tell me?"

"It's supposed to be a secret," He mumbles. He's really drunk. You realize this late. "So I don't know if I can."

"Mm," You reply. You feel like doting on him suddenly, so you do, petting the back of his neck before hugging him a little. "That's okay."

He follows up with a light groan. You've never heard him complain like that, so you laugh. "But I want to tell you."

"I promise I'll keep your secret at least."

He smiles at you more fully that time.

He pauses for a minute, thinking it over. You don't do or say anything in return. A beat passes of you two standing and swaying with silence where Shout to grabs your hands from in front of you. You think he's being affectionate again, wanting to hold them.

He draws your hands to his pocket though. The angle is awkward, makes you bend your wrist on the inside of coat pocket until you feel something hard and square touch your fingers. It's velvet from the material. A box of some kind.

...A box?

Shouto guides your hand again, this time out. When you pull it out, his palm is over yours. It's a jewellery box. You blink a few times, confused. Shouto hasn't let go of your hand.

"I keep missing the timing," He says, hiccuping. The lack of sobriety more clear than ever from the slight slur in his words. "It's been in my pockets for a while."

Your eyes go wide open. You can feel your own confusion and excitement twist and tangle inside of you, frantic to get a better read on the situation. He smiles down at you, disarmingly and then closes his eyes. His forehead is warm as it touches yours.

"...I thought you didn't want to married. Not really, at least." You whisper.

"Me too," He says, a wetness to his laugh that tugs at your heart . "It was on a whim. I wanted to talk to you about it. But." He frowns a little "It's tough."

You chuckle, a sudden wetness to your voice too. "I bet it was,"

He smiles at you, big and stupid. "I love you," He closes is eyes and presses his forehead to yours more. "Thank you for everything."

"Shouto," You repeat, unsure of what else to say. "What brought this up?"

"Mm," He shrugs, getting sleepier by the minute. "I thought giving you my last name would make you suffer." He admits, soft and unsure. "But taking yours. That felt...okay. Felt nice."

"You're silly."

"Yes," He says, not denying it. "And I love you."

"And you love me." You repeat, a grin splitting your face. Big tears at the corner of your eyes, making your vision sting and your cheeks ache. You look up at him again. "Enough to marry me?"

He seems almost sheepish that time. "If you'll have me."

"Are you sober enough to even remember this?"

His embarrassment makes him blush and laugh again. "My heart is beating so loud I'm a little afraid of it. So yes. I'm sure I'll remember." He admits.

"Let's get married, then." You repeat to him, so achingly happy you think you could die. You wonder when to tell your friends. Bakugou will be pissed you did at his place. "If you'll have me."

He smiles. "I'd like too."

You lean up to press a kiss to his mouth, and Shouto holds you there to kiss you longer than you expect. When you're done kissing, he's smiling.

"Anymore secrets?"

He thinks on it, then hums.

"We should get a cat."

[aakeysmash]

prompt:

sukuna skipping gym to sleep in and later on does his workout in their living room, using her as a weight when doing push ups, may turn heated hehe

college Sukuna's masterlist

turned this into a college!sukuna drabble lmao sorry!! no smut this time, i wanted to elaborate a bit on sukuna's protectivness toward yuuji :)

You're humming a song from your studying playlist when you hear someone knocking at your door. You look at the clock you keep on your desk near a plant Yuuji gifted you last week. On the terracotta vase there's a scribbled note in the obvious handwriting of a child.

To: baby peach, but no more annoying screams when we play, please!

You smile. He always chooses to be baby mario when you play Mario Kart together because he doesn't want you to feel alone in case you're the only baby character. He's such a cute kid, you're lucky to have him as one of your almost-roommates.

You get up (it's still pretty early anyway) and stretch your back, hearing it pop. You open the door, and standing in front of it is the same kid you were thinking about.

"Hey," you wave at him, a happy tilt to your voice. You look at him shuffling and avoiding your gaze.

"Is everything okay, Yuuji?" you start getting worried. He mumbles something you don't hear clearly, so you make him repeat himself. He juts his lip out, then looks straight at your face.

"Can you take me to school please?"

You raise your eyebrows. Usually, this is a big brother kind of duty: where is Sukuna? Yuuji takes your silence as rejection and starts backtracking.

"Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you, I can just go alone-"

"Sure, let me grab my purse and we can go," you stop him, changing your expression to one of calmness, ruffling his pink, unruly hair.

"Are you sure it's not a bother?" he asks you hesitantly. "Big bro closed his door and I can't seem to be able to wake him up... and I'm supposed to be accompanied by an adult..."

"It's not a big deal, Yuuji. I'll take you in my passenger seat, okay? We'll be there shortly," you reassure him, nodding.

"Thanks," he says, blushing, giving you one of the biggest smiles you've ever seen him do. Your heart melts a little, and he looks at you like you've physically hung up the sun shining outside.

When you get back home, you're not even able to get to your room when you find yourself being squished between the nearest wall and a hot, rapidly rising and falling chest.

"Where the fuck is my brother?" Sukuna grits out his teeth, breathing down your neck. You wince. He's controlling his strength, but he's still a mountain compared to you, and your ribcage is starting to hurt.

"Get off of me right now or I'm calling the police, Itadori."

He notices he must have been too rough and takes a step back, mumbling an apology while still looking at you menacingly. You pat your clothes, making sure there are no wrinkles before answering him.

"I took him to school. He told me he was being neglected by his own caretaker, so I had to intervene," you shrug.

"He did not say that. He doesn't even know the word neglect," he says, sighing. His shoulders drop and he takes on a more relaxed appearance.

"What's wrong with you? You've never gotten up later than 6 am," you ask him, trying to sound nonchalant, walking toward your fridge to make yourself a toast. The truth is, you're starting to get attached to him. In the last couple of months, you've created some sort of bond, and it's probably also thanks to Yuuji and his stubbornness in making you do things like you're a family. Just last night, he forced you both to make cookies with him because apparently his friend Megumi was coming to play this afternoon and "he wanted to make a good impression".

Sukuna, on the other hand, can be a lot. The majority of the time he nudges you to get you to move out of his way (he just does it to see your annoyed face, but he's not going to tell you that), huffs in your face when you say he hasn't cleaned his dishes from the night before, and flips you off whenever you try to have a civil conversation about who's turn it is to choose the film on Friday night. But he's also pretty attentive. It's not like he makes you notice it, but he does feel bad for you when you get out of your room after an all nighter because of your studies. He thinks you're annoying because you're always trying to pry into his private life, but when you're not home Yuuji always asks of your whereabouts. Yeah, that's definitely why he can't stop thinking about you laughing with the boy he literally raised. The boy whose disappearance was driving him insane this morning.

Because sure, Sukuna tells Yuuji he's a brat 95% of the time, and the kid yaps way too much for his taste. He also manhandles the kid badly, telling him he's way too weak to be called his brother, and more often than not Sukuna tells him he's adopted and that he'll kick him out as soon as he can. But you've seen the way he prepared soup every night when his little brother caught the flu in December—he's just full of shit. He'll never admit how hard it was to raise a brother he didn't want at 13, alone and broke. But he'll make sure the child never doubts of having someone to fall back into like Sukuna did since he was much younger than Yuuji is now.

"Didn't sleep well and I missed the gym," he responds, munching on an apple. You hum in acknowledgment, not turning around from the stove.

"You know that pilates class you suggested to me last week? I found their videos on YouTube. I was thinking of starting them today," you quickly change the topic. You know you won't get more than that; him admitting he didn't sleep well was already a win.

"Wanna start them with me, chipmunk?" he asks you. You turn around to slap his arm slightly.

"I told you to stop calling me that," you say rolling your eyes.

"No."

You whine. "Yes, by the way. I want to see you suffer like the men I see on TikTok."

"Come be my weight and I'll do pilates with you today," he suddenly says. You're biting your toast and you're so caught off guard that you start coughing up crumbles. He hands you a glass of water while telling you you're too fucking dramatic.

"What does it mean to be your weight?" you tentatively ask him when you can breathe properly again.

That's how you find yourself sitting crisscrossed on his back, gripping his shirt as hard as you can, while he does pushups and tries not to laugh every time you scream about him moving too much and almost making you fall.

[joontroverted]

of course other women want your boyfriend

pairing: nanami kento x reader

tags: nanami is 34. is that a warning? lol.

"your dad's kinda hot."

the bar isn't too full, just the regular crowd, and then some. of course there were other college kids, none that you knew. well, except this one.

you've seen aiko around, always at the back of the class. not that that's worth shaming, you ended up back there too often due to sleepy mornings to be looking down on her.

no, it's the constant bitching and laughing during class that pissed you the fuck off. not an ounce of respect or decorum for the rest of you depressed losers just trying to make it out of class with notes that made sense, or the poor professor, who has long since given up on admonishing her. so maybe you did once tell her off in the middle of class a week before finals. just once. or twice.

and here she is, having tapped on your shoulder as you were sipping your drink, bitching and laughing with her friends hanging behind her, snickering along.

"that's not my dad," you reply, ticked off.

her eyes widen in faux shock. "even better then! I didn't wanna make it too messy for you. what's his instagram?"

you laugh, bunching up your shoulders, finally putting down your drink and getting up. you're usually not the jealous type, and you're not even feeling jealous right now, more like a bubbling irritation.

"he doesn't have an Instagram. he's thirty four, what instagram do you think you're gonna be hitting him up on, huh?"

"thirty four? he looks forty plus at least! I didn't know being with a stuck up bitch like you would age a man like that, but makes sense!" she scoffs, looking you up and down.

"so you can pick up on social cues! I was wondering how you couldn't figure out that he's my boyfriend from the kiss he gave me or, perhaps from the way he was holding me, but turns out you're just a rude bitch who wants to slather her fingers all over my boyfriend!" you snap at her.

that makes a few people around you look over, and as much as you wanted to smack her across her face, you needed to maintain your standards.

"then where is he now? where's your boyfriend? and which forty year old brings his little girlfriend on a night out to a bar like-"

"there you are, sweetheart."

kento slides his arm around your waist, slipping into the seat next to yours.

nanami kento. thirty four. food critic! 6' 1", honey blonde hair slicked back, but a few pieces spill out on to his face, deep brown eyes that are both soft and sharp. his white shirt's sleeves rolled up to his elbows showing his thick forearms, veiny with light, golden hair. the bar and the girl in front of you almost fade to the back of your mind when his cologne hits your nose, sending you into a daze.

almost.

"ken!" you breathe.

"did i keep you too long? you know satoru, refusing to get to the point," he frowns, dropping a kiss on your forehead. "what's got you all worked up?"

"hey!"

his eyes leave yours to look at aiko. "yes?"

"how come she doesn't bring you around more often? she's always all by herself, in her own little world! so shy, really! i'm aiko, we go to class together!" she smiles at him, all cute and bubbly like.

"what are you trying to do?" you ask, shouldering youself between kento and her. "you trying to swoop in and show him a better life or something? do you need attention that bad?"

"oh my god, you guys, look she's getting all bothered!" she gasps to her friends around her. "no babe i didn't mean it like that, i just meant it like i am personally, SO happy that someone like you's found love, you know? even if it's with someone who is SO different from you, you're finally out of your shell, and clearly, there is someone for everyone!" she gushes, and then looks over your shoulder at kento.

"why are you looking at him, look at me," you interject, something finally snapping in you. kento can sense the change in you, and places his hands on your waist.

"sweetheart, i think- "

you appreciate it, but you can handle this, you're FINE.

"no no," you repeat, "look at me! because do you think he's gonna treat you the way he treats me? do you think he's gonna keep up with your bullshit, and your little friend group and not see you for the pathetic attention seeking loser you are? you think he's gonna buy you the stuff you want and take you to all your raves and whatnot? this man goes to sleep every night by eleven thirty! you don't see him at parties because he's thirty four fucking years old, and his definition of a night out is wine and fine dining, with ME! he treats me like this, and buys me whatever the fuck i want, because i'm me, he's not gonna treat you like that babe!"

"don't get all worked up!" aiko spits "we can just be friends, you know!" she twirls her hair, her eyes still on kento.

"what are you twirling your hair for? he's not even looking at you, the only thing that that's gonna do is make you even balder. spending all your time trying to poach another bitch's man the whole time your bald spot's been making direct eye contact with me."

she gasps, and deep down you know you would never say that to a girl unless she absolutely deserved it, and aiko has been begging for it.

kento squeezes your waist, standing up, towering over you from behind.

"baby, she said she just wanted to be friends, didn't she?" he asks. "why don't you give her my instagram?"

aiko chuckles, seeming to have recovered. she pushes her phone into his hands, instagram open, and he hands it over to you diligently.

you scoff and type in his username, pressing the follow button and shoving it back to her.

"now that that's done," sighs kento, holding you. "it's getting a little hot in here, isn't it honey? let's get this scarf off of you."

his hands unfasten the scarf that you had tied around your neck, that you're sure aiko just attributed to poor fashion sense. despite the previous chaos, your eyes follow his thick fingers as the open the knot, and unloop the scarf from around your neck, causing the scarf to slip out and leave you neck bare in the deep v neck top you had put on this morning.

deep red and purple bruises litter your neck, all the way down to your breasts, disappearing off behind the lace borders of the neck of your top.

kento stares at you, smug and unclouded desire clear on his face. he slides his hands up and holds the sides of your neck firmly, squeezing slightly. he pulls you closer and your lips meet in a deep kiss, his thumbs rubbing slow circles on your cheek. the kiss leaves you breathless as he pulls away and leans back in to place on more kiss on your wet, parted lips, taking you by surprise.

"that's perfect," he thumbs on one of the hickies, eyes never leaving you. "my perfect girl."

warmth floods up your chest and face. a smile can't help but spread across your face as you lean into him.

"let's go, love. dinner, wine and that eleven thirty nap time awaits us," he chuckles, taking your hand, gathering your bag and turning away to leave, not a single glance given to aiko.

aiko!

you turn to her, a lazy, easy grin on your face, glancing to her phone open with kento's instagram, and then back up at her. "happy stalking!"

aiko and her friends are sure to spend the night pouring over kento's instagram, which is filled to the brim with pictures of you, you and him, food, you, travel and his girlfriend, you.

DO NOT REPOST

yay first fic!!!

likes, reblogs, comments HIGHLY appreciated 🩷

[caxycreations]

Okay, I've been nerd sniped, I'm sorry

NOTE: If you're going to reblog just to say "not reading that" or some other rude shit, DON'T. I've seen so many notifications of people just saying they couldn't be bothered to read it. I don't know if it's just that they don't see how incredibly rude and disheartening that is or if they know and don't care, but either way it really hurts to see, so please don't reblog if it's just to tell me you won't read it.

So let's go through the canonical likelihood they could each beat Goku. For the sake of keeping canon, we'll keep groups/pairs together if they would never reasonably be apart for something like this. Long post below the cut.

So first up are the ones I see that would, without a doubt, beat Goku.

Saiki K

Saiki is an omnipotent psychic/psionic with quite literally every single possible power out there. Now, this on its own isn't enough to beat Goku. Versatility doesn't mean everything, but Saiki is also powerful enough to rewrite the genetics and reality of everything within range, and his range is, so far, "Earth".

So this, on its own, would allow him to rewrite Goku's biology to make him Human. Bye bye zenkai boosts, bye bye Saiyan transformations. And Saiki, with his powers, has no trouble beating a Human of any caliber if he truly wanted to. And for those who ask "Why would he ever fight Goku?"

One simple reason: Goku would sense his immense power, and be excited for a fight. Goku is respectful enough to not force one if he's refused, but he's persistent enough to badger Saiki until he's given a chance. And Saiki, being Saiki, would simply take off one of his limiters, or both, and rewrite reality as such: "Being an alien isn't possible", thereby making it effective immediately that Goku must be lying/insane, and he is, in fact, Human. Easy win for Saiki.

And for those who would argue against this, bear in mind, the funniest way to beat Goku in this instance would be to simply make him weaker than Saiki, and Saiki is a gag character from a gag series, and it's already been shown in the world of Dragon Ball, and again in Dragon Ball Super, that Goku is incapable of defeating a gag character regardless of that characters canonical ability.

Saiki could win without gag character status, but even in the instance of Goku "beating" him, the gag would turn out to be that Saiki only pretended to get beaten, and is actually entirely unharmed because it was the easiest way to get Goku to leave him alone. Followed by a reveal that Goku will still show up now and then to ask for sparring matches, to drive the point home.

Popeye

Gag character. Would get beaten handily, crawl his way to spinach, and then be exactly as strong as he needs to be to take Goku down in however many hits is funniest.

Bugs Bunny

The gag character to end all gag characters. Someone on this hellsite once described Bugs as a "Trickster God who traps us in our own societal expectations" or some such. Like convincing Thanos to remove the Infinity Gauntlet by establishing a security checkpoint with a metal detector and shaming him into cooperating by telling him there's others waiting.

He could beat Goku in a billion ways, and each and every one of them would involve some shenanigan like Goku throwing a spirit bomb, Bugs showing up behind him holding it, saying "Ehhh, can you hold this for a second?" and as soon as Goku takes it and Bugs is off-screen, it would explode and Goku would be a pile of ashes with blinking eyes. Bugs would win because Bugs' gag is that...well, he simply can't be beaten.

The Warner Trio

Gag trio. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot would snark, sass, and sarcastic-joke their way into the scene, and they would spend the entire time poking fun at him, roasting his look, being unfazed by his attacks because "Nice laser show but we didn't bring our glowsticks." and just being too unbothered to care.

They would undoubtedly annoy Goku into admitting defeat simply to get away from them.

Road Runner

Gag character. Would force Goku to chase him, Goku would fire some blasts, chase him around, and inevitably be led right into the path of a blast he fired earlier to be disintegrated by it.

Pop Team Epic

I know nothing about this series except that it is a gag series. They are gag characters. That means Goku is inherently incapable of beating them.

ASDF Guy

Gag character. Could beat Goku with a simple "Hello, Mine-Turtle!" or "I like Trains."

Heart Diagram

Goku was literally killed by a heart virus in Future Trunks' timeline. This is one that has actually canonically already killed Goku.

Chowder

Gag character. Would likely be after S-Cells for some recipe and need to take Goku's as he's "The only Saiyan in this episode!" or some such, thereby ending the fight with a shot of Chowder wearing Goku's Gi for comedic effect while Dahl stirs raw Super Saiyan aura in a pot to hint that Chowder killed Goku for his S-Cells.

Force Ghost Trio

Gag versions of serious characters, and also ghosts. Goku is canonically unable to beat ghosts or gag characters, and these guys are both.

Those are the ones that would, without a doubt, beat Goku.

Now, let's go over the ones that could, potentially, be it likely or unlikely.

Kirby

Kirby is often considered a gag character, but he isn't. He has a very specific level of power, even if that level of power is "fuck you" levels of power. Kirby has beaten Gods, but so has Goku, even more often and with greater ease. However, Kirby has absorption and power-theft. Kirby could, potentially, absorb Goku (he isn't the brightest and Kirby has his unassuming appearance on his side) and take on his strongest form, including its powerup, and given Kirby in base form is likely more powerful than Goku in base form (Goku needed SSJ to scare Supreme Kai, Kirby beats Gods in base), it's possible Kirby would be more powerful than Goku with the same power up.

Kevin McCallister

Okay, hear me out.

Kevin is technically a gag character, BUT. He is not TRULY a gag character. He just happens to be a comedy character.

So he isn't guaranteed to win, but he could still possibly do so. How you ask?

Goku has been somewhat injured or lightly shaken by the following: planet-shattering attacks. Punches that rock the universe. Energy blasts so potent they would destroy entire galaxies.

Goku has been rendered inconsolable from the pain of the following: chest pain and a half-heartedly, boredly tossed pebble.

It is canon that when Goku and the other fighters in the series are expecting an attack or primed for battle, they are protected by their ki, like armor. It's how they're able to knock away attacks that would destroy planets, or put their "bare" hands on plasma energy that would normally burn the skin off you from a mile away let alone touching it.

This is why when Krillin threw the rock at Goku, it left him in agony and bruised him despite Goku being in Super Saiyan form at the time. This is why Chi-Chi is able to injure Goku regardless of how strong he gets.

So, how does this relate to Kevin being able to beat him? It's everything. It's critical information.

Kevin McCallister's entire M.O. is unexpected attacks. You open a door, you see a bucket fall, think it's over, turns out no, second bucket pulled by the first, second bucket is full of paint and open, you're blinded, you get your bearings, you take a step and feel cars, you smirk and step over them only to find marbles, you slip, you land on the cars which turn out to have been rigged to break easier to let loose a single thumbtack which is now firmly stuck in your back or butt. You bolt upright only to slam your head on a 2x4 that was rigged to hang down from a rope when you fell because your impact shook things enough to make it fall from a precarious perch above.

You get the idea. Every time you think it's safe to let your guard down, that's when the next wave hits. So you say "well he would stop letting his guard down" right? You fool. You know nothing of Goku. He would never put his guard UP. This is a human child, Goku can sense his pitiful power level. His strength? His speed? His ki? Weak. Pathetic. Nothing. A scouter wouldn't even register his power it's so low.

Goku never raises his guard to Chi-Chi, or to Bulma, or to Hercule. He does not raise his defense against normal, powerless, non-combative humans.

"BUT KEVIN IS COMBATIVE" No. He isn't. Goku can sense intent, power, and location. But Kevin isn't actively intending to hurt Goku. He's intending to protect himself and his home. He's not actively wanting to hurt Goku, he's just wanting Goku to leave. He doesn't have power to threaten Goku with, so Goku won't pick up on any threatening aura. And while Goku could simply instant transmission to Kevin and do what he will, we're not talking about how Goku could win, we're going over the fact Kevin could POSSIBLY win.

Enough injury and Goku is down for the count. Otherwise, Goku leaves to avoid further injury, and thereby admits defeat. Both cases, Kevin wins.

Shedinja

This one took me...quite a while. I had to do a lot of extra research for this. So, my immediate thought was Shedinja is a Ghost type, so ghost rules, right? Nah. Bug and Ghost type, and they are the physical shell left behind that has been reanimated. So they very much are physical beings, and given their ability to faint in the games and show they are capable of being physically damaged.

But There's a real case to be made for Shedinja beating Goku.

It can learn Ghost type moves, which operate on ghost-logic, and therefore are a canon weakness Goku is known to have. So things like Shadow Ball, Hex, Curse, and the like would all effect Goku regardless of Ki or form.

It also has access to Wonder Guard, which renders it "immune to all damage types that are not Super-Effective". For those unaware, we can actually attribute Typings to Goku's moves based on attributes and traits they share with Pokemon moves. His melee is, by nature, Fighting type, which Shedinja is immune to. In fact, Shedinja is immune to ALL attack types except Flying, Rock, Ghost, Dark, and Fire type moves, which are all Super Effective.

Goku's most common methods would actually fall under Fighting and Normal type attacks. "But his Ki blasts-" would be Normal type moves. You want proof?

Focus Energy is Normal Type. Quick Attack is Normal Type. Self Destruct is Normal Type. Techno Blast is Normal Type. Tera Blast is Normal Type. These are all energy based moves similar to ki blasts. Know what other energy based move is Normal Type? Hyperbeam. Which is almost identical to the Kamehameha and every other beam attack in DBZ.

Those few attacks Goku has that aren't going to be Normal Type will be Fighting Type.

Shedinja is Immune to all Normal and Fighting Type moves. Goku literally can not damage Shedinja, but Shedinja can damage Goku through Ghost Type moves. Shedinja can beat Goku. But why is it not "absolutely will" beat him? Because Goku can also transform his Ki and if he finds out Shedinja is vulnerable to fire, he can and will use that to his advantage.

That's who could potentially beat Goku. Here's who absolutely could not.

Saitama

I forgot to go over Saitama originally so here's the edit that features that analysis. Bear in mind I am saying this as someone who has seen Seasons 1 and 2 of the show AND is aware of some of the events of the manga.

A lot of reblogs over Saitama claim he is a gag character. But there is a case to be made that he is NOT. What is that case you ask? Well, for the sake of fairness, here is how I am handling gag characters: if their gag is in effect in 100% of all cases (such as looney tunes like Bugs or Road Runner) or if the gag is triggered in 100% of all cases (such as Saiki K or Chowder) then they are a True Gag Character and will insta-win.

However, if their gag has failed (such as Wario, or, yes, even Saitama) in ANY case, then it CAN fail again, and the fairest fight is one against two non-gag characters, so we can safely apply non-gag Saitama here since his gag has failed and Goku meets the conditions to cause it to fail again, which I'll explain.

So, first off, how does his gag fail? Well, his gag is that he kills everything instantly in one hit, unless he actively chooses not to. So we can safely say his gag fails if any of the following are true: he fails to instantly kill an enemy with a single hit while intending to do so, OR if he fails to kill an enemy with a serious hit intended to kill.

He meets both of these conditions. Boros survived for several seconds AFTER Saitama hit him with a Serious Punch. It was a single hit that intended to kill...But he didn't kill Boros INSTANTLY with it. Another example of his gag failing, if that doesn't satisfy, is Garou. Garou, in the manga, has survived MULTIPLE Serious Punches with intent to kill. This, on its own, is proof Saitama's Serious Punch does in fact have a limit to its output. It also proves his gag can, and does, fail against certain opponents.

So the next thing we need to look at is similarities between Garou and Boros to identify what they share that could possibly allow them to get around Saitama's gag, or to nullify it entirely. First similarity is that both are determined to have a good, satisfying fight. Boros crossed the stars seeking one, and Garou sought to become a true Monster powerful enough to force every hero, every do-gooder, to unite under one banner just to take him down. They both seek a battle to end all battles, even if Garou's intention is to end it in his favor, not simply enjoy the fight.

The second similarity is that they have incredibly unique circumstances, even by OPM standards. Garou is a man who has always felt love for the bad guy, he looks to the monsters as inspirations, as the misunderstood and the victimized by those claiming to be heroes. He's trained by an S-Class hero, and has developed into a being of unimaginable power in the pursuit of his dream. Very much a true foil to Saitama, who looked to heroes in comics as inspirations, as the righteous and unshakably moral, self-taught through and through and developed into a being of unimaginable power in the pursuit of HIS dream. Garou is, in this way, a reflection of Saitama, the Tails to Saitama's Heads, the dark to his light.

Boros on the other hand is an alien, forced to become strong by his homeworld's unforgiving conditions, developing a level of power necessary to survive and then some, and on realizing he was far too powerful for his own good, he sought purpose, meaning, and when he heard he may find a worthy opponent, he did everything he could to achieve that future, to realize his dream of facing a foe that would give him a true challenge.

So what are the similarities we can identify? Notably unique circumstances even by OPM standards, sharing strong similarities to Saitama's desires or dreams (Garou dreaming of becoming the greatest Monster vs Saitama dreaming of becoming the greatest Hero, Boros feeling lost in life and seeking a worthy foe vs Saitama feeling bored with living and wishing for the sensation of a real fight again), and the desire for a serious and ultimate battle.

Goku fits ALL of these conditions. He is an alien sent to Earth for his protection, grew up in hostile conditions (surviving on his own for most of his childhood, constant battles with Nation-level threats throughout his teen years, constant battles with world or universe-level threats throughout his adulthood), trained extensively until he was the best of the best, has the ultimate dream of a truly satisfying battle (a dream he routinely seeks out by facing down powerful foes), and being entirely bored with mundane life because there's absolutely no challenge to it, not to mention the fact he has the ultimate dream of becoming the strongest, something he shares with Saitama's pre-OPM self.

Since Goku fits ALL the conditions needed to make this battle exempt from the gag, we will NOT be considering it, as Saitama is not a True Gag Character, and Goku fitting conditions for nullifying it means we can assume actual power limits and such.

So let's look at feats of power. Saitama's Serious Side Hop technique allowed him to create AT LEAST 60 after-images (based on the manga panel) which, when compared with Sonic's 4, means Saitama was moving 15x faster than Sonic in that moment (bare minimum). An afterimage like that is created by moving at least 572mph, stopping in each position for at least 1/255th of a second (any less and the human eye can't pick up on it), so by moving from position A to B for 1/255th of a second and back to A, going 572mph between the two, you create the afterimage.

Sonic creates 4 simultaneously, meaning he needs to move to 3 positions and then back to starting position, or go from A to B, B to A, A to C, C to A, A to D, and repeat.

This means Sonic, to move into each of these positions in less than 1/255th of a second, would need to be moving ~4x faster than the speed for one afterimage. That puts him as moving at 2,228mph while creating those 4 afterimages. Given he is capable of Mach 5 speeds (he's said to be hypersonic) this feat is easy for him, as Mach 5 is 3,805mph. I assume, just as it's easier to move at top speed in a straight line than at sharp turns for a normal person, it's likely more difficult to create such consistent afterimages and so the difficulty that makes it his best attack is from the technique and reaction involved, not the speed itself.

In any case, if Saitama made at least 60 afterimages, putting him at 15x faster than Sonic's speed while creating 4, that puts Saitama's speed at 33,420mph just to account for the 60 we can count in the manga panel. This means 33,420 is the MINIMUM speed we can assume for Saitama's max ability. To be generous, given he wasn't winded after doing that and given he was able to react incredibly easily to the near-instant directional changes, I'll be kind and put his maximum speed at 10,000x this number.

That puts Saitama's speed at 334,200,000mph, or 49.8% the speed of light. We'll be kind again and say 50% the speed of light, round up that last .2%

So we have a speed value for Saitama. Now what about Goku? Well, let's look at Goku on Namek, for a moment. Base form Goku, at the start of his fight against Freeza. Goku, BEFORE his super saiyan transformation, was moving at 3.26 (we'll round down to 3) times the speed of light. How do I get this number? Buckle up, it's involved.

The Namekian ship Bulma, Krillin, and Gohan took to get to Namek made it from Earth to Jupiter in "seconds". That means less than a minute, so we'll say it took them 1 minute just to lowball it and to have a solid starting number. Jupiter, when the two planets are at their closest to each other (assuming shorter distance for slower speed, another lowball), is 365,000,000 miles from Earth. This means the Namekian ship moved 365mil miles in 1 minute.

That puts the Namekian ship at a speed of 21.9 billion miles per hour. They made it to Namek in 30 days of travel. The ship Goku took to Namek made the trip in 5 days. That means Goku's ship is 6 times faster than the Namekian ship. Don't worry, the ship speed DOES matter in this, I promise you.

So Goku's ship moves at 131,400,000,000mph. That's 131 billion, 400 million miles per hour. Or 195x the speed of light.

Why does the ship speed matter so much, you might ask?

Because King Kai could visually keep up with the ship. He was able to track Goku's progress with ease, and could see his ships movements without problems. This means King Kai's eyes and brain are capable of perceiving and processing things that move at 195x the speed of light.

Why does that matter? Because Super Saiyan is canonically a 50x multiplier to ALL base ability. Strength, speed, durability, etc.

And Goku, in Super Saiyan, was moving so fast King Kai stated he could no longer keep up. King Kai, capable of seeing and processing the input of vision on a ship moving 195x the speed of light, could not see or process the input of vision on Super Saiyan Goku.

We'll lowball it, and say Goku only needed to move 1 mph faster than 195x the speed of light for King Kai to lose track of him. So whatever value we get, we'll add 1mph to for Goku's base form speed.

So 195x the speed of light +1mph. 195/50=3.9x the speed of light. That's 2,616,900,000mph, adding in the extra mph makes it 2,616,900,001mph. So Base Form Goku moves at ~3.9x the speed of light, ON NAMEK. Super Saiyan is a 50x multiplier, putting him at ~195x the speed of light. Super Saiyan 2 is a 100x multiplier to Base, so 390x the speed of light. Super Saiyan 3 is a 400x multiplier, so 1,560x the speed of light. Super Saiyan God is a 20,000 multiplier so 78,000x the speed of light. Super Saiyan Blue is a 1 million times multiplier, so 3,900,000x the speed of light. And lastly, Mastered Ultra Instinct is a 300 billion times multipler, so 1.17 trillion times the speed of light.

Why did I bother going through all those multipliers? He wins in Base as of Namek saga lol. Anyway, continuing on to strength now that we've established Base Goku on Namek could move 3.9x faster than the Speed of Light while Saitama could only move at 0.5x the Speed of Light.

Strength. Okay. This one is harder to gauge, but we CAN gauge it. We'll go in terms of level of damage, so human level (would be on-par or less than peak human ability), town level (small towns), city level (large cities), nation level (an entire nation, less than a continent), continent level (one or more nations that span an entire continent), world-surface level (the surface of an Earth-sized planet), Planetary (capable of destroying an entire Earth-sized planet), Solar (capable of destroying a solar system), Galactic (capable of destroying a galaxy), multi-galactic (capable of destroying many galaxies), Universal (capable of destroying an entire universe), Multiversal (capable of destroying multiple universes).

We'll start with Goku this time. Goku's punches are, as of the Battle of Gods arc, strong enough to match Beerus perfectly to nullify the shockwaves of Beerus' attacks. Mind you, the mere shockwave of Beerus' attacks are enough to rip and tear the fabric of the universe itself, as stated by Elder Kai. This puts Goku's punches as being powerful enough to tear the fabric of the universe in when he first obtained Super Saiyan God. Why does this matter for Base Goku? Because Base Goku retained his SSJG power, as stated by Beerus.

So Goku in Base, post-battle of gods, is physically capable of punches that can tear apart the universe from the aftershocks alone. This is important to note because Elder Kai could physically feel the shockwaves from the World of the Kais. This makes Goku Universe-level in strength. This means Goku, post-BoG, in Super Saiyan is 50x stronger than what's needed for Universal, while Goku, as of current manga canon (assuming he didn't actually get any stronger since BoG and is simply more powerful due to new transformations) is capable of a form (Mastered Ultra Instinct) that puts him 300 billion times stronger than minimum Universe level strength.

And Saitama? Where does he fit here? Well, I thought this gap would be bigger honestly? But after researching, it seems the gap isn't all that big. Saitama has, canonically, with a Serious Punch, snuffed out an entire cylinder of stars and presumably every planet, moon, asteroid, and more, at a distance surpassing that of our solar system, and with a diameter surpassing it as well. This puts Saitama's power (if we lowball it MASSIVELY) at Solar. He could, in a single punch, destroy our entire solar system, and he wouldn't even need to be serious to do it. It's worth noting this is coupled with Garou's own Saitama-level Serious Punch, so we can assume this level of power is double Saitama's own.

So how do we determine the specifics? Well, he cleared an area large enough to cover, presumably, half the area of stars destroyed in the path of his and Garou's serious punches.

Through future revelations in the series we learn they didn't "destroy" every star in that path, but likely only several were destroyed, and possibly a galaxy, while the remainder of the void left behind was from the shockwave forcing every other star within range into a new position, creating a void in space that all stars had been moved from, save the few that were in the DIRECT path of their attack.

Another theory is that the Serious Punch^2 simply distorted the photons in the area, resulting in the appearance of a massive void, and this theory is based on the angles in the manga and comments made by other characters that paint Earth as the only thing in real danger from the power of the attack.

To be fair to Saitama, where we would lowball Goku, we'll highball Saitama, and say the Serious Punch^2 outright destroyed every star in the area. That level of power would, naturally, have shockwaves that push nearby stars out of the way AND distort photons in the area, resulting in a massive cone of destruction surrounded by a large cylinder of force.

This puts Saitama at, quite easily, multi-galactic level of strength.

But why did I say this gap isn't as big as I expected? One simple thing. Saitama has canonically punched his way into a different dimension in the manga. That means he's capable of brute-forcing his way out of the bounds of his universe. He is capable of physically destroying the fabric of the universe.

Meaning Saitama's strength is, bare minimum, Universal in close proximity. That puts him, strength-wise, on par with Goku, who through training has become stronger than Super Buu (who was so strong he could shout his way out of the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, a dimension separate from our own), meaning Goku is also Universal in close proximity.

So...while I expected Saitama to be ~Planetary, MAYBE he'd be Solar at most...Research indicates he's actually Universal, or near-Universal, meaning the fight may not be too far a gap after all.

Goku may have Saitama beat on speed (given recent manga events in OPM, I'm willing to allow that Saitama is faster than light speed, but Goku having as many forms as he does (Kaioken, which he can combine with other forms and can hit a multiplier of x100 on top of whatever power he currently has, SSJ1-3, SSJG, SSJB, MUI) means even if Saitama matches Base Goku, he's likely not going to stand up to his stronger forms).

But on strength, I'd wager they're close enough for this fight to be one hell of a battle.

What about Durability? After all, all the strength in the world won't save you if you're as easy to kill as a simple bullet to the head, right?

Goku has withstood universe-ripping punches (from Beerus, the God of Destruction, and based on comments in the manga he's one of the stronger Gods of Destruction too), dimension-tearing attacks (from Goku Black, pre-Fusion), energy blasts that even the Gods of Destruction were nervous of (from Jiren during the Tournament of Power), and he survived multiple blasts from Granolah post-wish buff, who was renowned for his sniping power pre-wish, and post-wish was as powerful as he would be if he had spent every single second of the next 147 years training non-stop with the absolute healthiest amount of rest and physical care, making him, presently, as powerful as he would be at the END of that time, with the price paid being that he only had 3 years to live as he lost 1 year of his lifespan for each power boost.

It was also clear that Granolah was the strongest in the universe...at the time of his wish. Goku and Vegeta, who were already on their way, were not as powerful as Granolah even with their transformations. They became stronger during their fight with him, and stronger still during their fight with Gas (who was more powerful than Granolah after Gas transformed and mastered his transformation).

So we can safely assume Goku is Multiversal in Durability, as he himself was able to output Universal damage with each punch, and he was able to survive hits from beings drastically stronger than himself.

What about Saitama? Well, Saitama was able to survive the force of the Serious Punch^2 and he was able to casually bust his way into another dimension. So his Serious Punch, if he wanted it to, could easily destroy the barrier between universes or dimensions.

And given he survived the force of two of them impacting each other, I would put Saitama at, bare minimum, Universe-level durability. But given he was able to survive prolonged battle against Garou, who is a Power Mimic and has shown Saitama-level strength, we can safely assume Saitama is BEYOND Universal-level durability, and so we can put him right there with Goku at Multiversal durability.

So what do we have so far?

Goku has speed equal to, in Base Form, 3.9x lightspeed, and 1.17 trillion times lightspeed in his most powerful form.

Goku has Universal level strength in Base Form, 300 billion times that in his most powerful form.

Goku has Universal durability in Base Form, Multiversal durability in his most powerful form (300 billion times his Base Form's durability).

Saitama has speed equal to, at minimum, 0.5x lightspeed, and at maximum, if we highball it, 2x lightspeed.

Saitama has Universal strength.

Saitama has Universal durability at minimum, and Multiversal durability at maximum.

At this point, I'm convinced the speed difference between Base Goku and Saitama means nothing. Saitama's durability means even with Base Goku moving at his top speed, his impacts won't be enough to beat Saitama. At top speed Base Goku may be putting out Universal damage, but he's not putting out enough to actually BEAT Saitama. Only injure.

Making me rethink my "Goku wins in Base lol" claim earlier, how dare you!

Anyway, at this point, Goku would HAVE to transform to beat Saitama. His ability to sense power and Saitama's evident inability to suppress it (as evidenced by multiple characters sensing his ungodly power even while Saitama is completely relaxed) would mean Goku would know, right away, he needs to transform for the fight.

Saitama's durability means Goku would likely need Super Saiyan 2 or 3, or, more likely, SSJG. Super Saiyan God's multiplier to Granolah-arc Goku, after all of his training with Whis and Vegeta, would most likely be enough to beat Saitama. And given SSJG is enough to "most likely" beat him, then Super Saiyan Blue (aka Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan, the form above SSJG) is surely enough, and Mastered Ultra Instinct (a form drastically more powerful than SSJB) is absolutely more than enough to beat Saitama.

And given Goku's mastery over the Kaioken technique, and he's been shown to enter Kaioken x 20 while in Super Saiyan Blue for fair amounts of time as of the Moro saga, meaning even if SSB wasn't enough, given MUI is overkill, it's possible SSB x10 or x20 would be.

The point being, Goku wins this fight due to a combination of technique, experience, and power from his transformations. Given Goku is faster than Saitama and would sense his power as Saitama doesn't know how to suppress it, nothing Saitama could do would be a surprise attack to Goku, meaning Goku would have ample opportunity to react to everything Saitama does.

And given the relatively similar strengths the two bear, Goku would recognize he needs to transform to beat Saitama's output.

And given Saitama's greater durability than Base Goku, and greater durability than even what Saitama himself can put out, Goku would see he needs to transform to have enough of his own output to beat Saitama's durability.

Conclusion: Goku would absolutely win this fight, BUT...I'll give Saitama credit where it's due.

Out of everyone on the entire list, Saitama is the fairest matchup here, and the one most likely to give Goku a truly satisfying fight, given it would be a battle on par with those Goku has enjoyed most.

Kingdom Hearts Mickey

K.H. Mickey has a clear power limit and ability set. He is not strong enough, fast enough, smart enough, or durable enough to beat Goku, but he is just enough of a threat for Goku to actually put his guard up, which is why K.H. Mickey would lose; Goku would see it as a fight, unlike with Kevin.

Crash Bandicoot

Crash isn't nearly powerful enough to be a threat to Goku, but he IS insane enough to push Goku to hostility. Goku would feel the need to put effort into getting him away and that is his downfall.

Hatsune Miku

Goku would assume she is a Red Ribbon android and fight her on assumption she's trying to kill him or bring harm to Earth. He would hit her full force expecting her to tank it and she would keel over dead instantly.

Wario

Everything he could possibly do, the Red Ribbon Army has tried and done better, and they've never beaten Goku. Neither would he.

Sans

Lost to a child with slightly above average human determination, and standard human strength and speed. He does not beat Goku.

And just because you specifically told me not to @ you, have this :)

@that-one-enby-onyx

[astonmartinii]

reluctant cupid | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem bff!reader

you could set your bestie up with a driver or you could confess your feelings? lando norris is dumb.

based on this request: Could you write something about being best friends with lando and he tries to help set you up with another driver you have a crush on, but then he realises he actually likes you so he has to sabotage all the wingmanning he’s done and you end up together Idk if that makes sense 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 -@mbappesleftthigh

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 49,340 others

yourusername: someone please save me from the grips of hinge and this oh so lonesome life

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user1: girl knows the whole f1 paddock and looks like that and is still alone there is NO HOPE for me

user2: this post might have thrown me over the edge

landonorris: "i'm so lonely" "why don't you approach that guy" "no too scary"

user3: that's so real though

yourusername: thank you!

landonorris: how do you expect to find a boyfriend when you don't like to talk to anyone and treat hinge like a gameshow

yourusername: i didn't come here for actual advice let me commiserate in peace. god, can women have anything these days?

landonorris: ???

yourusername: oh! idea! pretty please set me up with one of your friends? they have to be great otherwise you wouldn't be friends with them, right? RIGHT?

landonorris: i guess...

yourusername: please lando, i've never asked for anything before

landonorris: i can feel you pouting through the phone

yourusername: so you'll consider ?

landonorris: fine...

user4: bro either gotta admit his feelings now or be condemned to be in the plot of a weird romantic comedy

user5: i personally don't think i can wait until the third act break up with this side character LANDO ACT NOW

oscarpiastri: you'd really trust lando's judgement?

yourusername: he's friends with me, he's got good taste?

oscarpiastri: touche

maxverstappen1: whatever you really wanna say oscar, you gotta keep it in, these idiots will figure it out eventually

yourusername: ???

landonorris: ???

user6: the grid are so done with their asses i can't 😭

user7: but what if the universe doesn't intervene and lando really has just lost the girl forever?

user8: bestie we can't be thinking like this

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 812,047 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: being back home means being bothered by her (and whatever is her newest hyperfixation - it's sylvanian families this month if you couldn't tell)

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user9: i am so sorry but they are so in love

user10: it's cute in the movies, but these blind bitches are starting to piss me off

yourusername: THEY CAN HEAR YOU, BE A BETTER DAD

landonorris: they're not my children

yourusername: you take that back right now, you LOVE them

landonorris: you spent my money on them yes

yourusername: that's fatherhood, buddy. buckle up

user11: whoever he sets her up (if he's still dumb enough to do that) is gonna be the biggest third wheel in history

user12: who would willingly sign up for that

user13: me. i would. i have two working eyes and have seen y/n

maxverstappen1: who are these funky little critters and how can i procure some for p?

yourusername: finally a man with sense, literally any grocery store or toy store

maxverstappen1: perf

yourusername: if lando stops being mr. grumpy i'll ask him if i can come to a race and p and i can play animal families

landonorris: i am NOT mr. grumpy

maxverstappen1: you kinda are dude. is it the set-up is it stressing you out?

landonorris: nO

yourusername: then why are you putting it off !!! lando i might die from terminal yearning !!!

landonorris: i have an interested candidate

yourusername: really? do you think they'll actually like me? like this isn't a pity date right?

landonorris: nope!

user14: lando is typing through tears as we speak

user15: if y/n does go on a date with someone from the paddock i actually hope it goes well, as one lonely girl to another, it's tough out here we need one win

f1wagupdates

liked by user18, user19 and 11,043 others

tagged: yourusername & carlossainz55

f1wagupdates: turns out lando is a bit of a cupid as his childhood friend y/n y/ln was spotted out and about with carlos sainz.

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user20: HE ACTUALLY DID IT

user21: that moment when you're so down bad for a girl that you set her up with your best friend

user22: that moment when you're such a wimp you can't admit your feelings and set up the girl you like with a literal GREEK GOD

user23: i am so bamboozled by this move he literally looked like a kicked puppy on his stream bro this is your doing 😭

user24: she's a lover girl she's going to get her heart broken :(

user25: this has mess written all over it

user26: she's literally described herself as a terminal yearner i feel like she'll throw herself in and will get hurt

user27: UNLESS! this is all part of the plan? what if lando set her up with a messy guy like carlos so he can be the shoulder to cry on and that's how he slides in?

user28: that's very convoluted, very rom-com but i'll take it if it means we get lando and y/n together in the end

user29: i know this probably won't last long but can we all appreciate how hot this couple is?

user30: lando and y/n runs rings round y/n and carlos

user31: lol lando is a bad friend for setting her up with CARLOS him and charles are THEE red flags

user32: i hope y/n is prepared

user33: also lando hasn't thought it fully out if his plan is to be the shoulder to cry on because he's just opening her up to be called a homie hopper or a paddock bunny

carlossainz55

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 702,554 others

carlossainz55: productive weekend with my girl

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user34: well that's not y/n

user35: that finished faster than i expected

user36: lando DO NOT quit your day job

landonorris: call me bro

carlossainz55: si, cabron

user37: i don't think they'll be cabrons after this call

user38: maybe this is all just going to plan?

user39: yall gotta give up this conspiracy theory maybe these people are just as dumb and mean as they seem to be

user40: soooooo... what did we all do this weeekend?

user41: i broke a girl's heart @carlossainz55 twins 👯‍♂️

user42: AHHHH???

maxverstappen1: oh that's not-

yourusername: you're so chronically online :(

maxverstappen1: you're alive?

yourusername: yes. coming at you live from the bed i'm currently rotting in

maxverstappen1: not going to say i didn't warn you?

carlossainz55: really? in my own comment section?

yourusername: one second, we're having a conversation here

maxverstappen1: yeah carlos, gosh.

carlossainz55: i'm so confused

user43: okay power move to just start a conversation in his comments?

user44: the power of confusion is simply unmatched

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 56,309 others

yourusername: certified boy hater

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user45: a ferrari boy will do that to you

landonorris: feeling hashtag victimised rn

yourusername: obviously doesn't include you girlypop. but you seriously need to reevaluate your judgement

landonorris: carlos is attractive?

yourusername: he ghosted me?

carlossainz55: i am right here

yourusername: blocked.

landonorris: did you actually just block him?

yourusername: yes 😀 !

landonorris: god this is a nightmare

yourusername: not if you'd take a GOD DAMN HINT

landonorris: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

user46: yall this is a public instagram comment section

user47: don't say that, this is their argument in the rain moment

user48: lemme grab the popcorn 🍿

maxverstappen1: this better not include the real number one girlypop here

yourusername: of course not pookie

oscarpiastri: you gonna continue the lil spat above this?

yourusername: no?

oscarpiastri: well some people (max and i) would like to listen so please continue

yourusername: no, i don't think i will

oscarpiastri: GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE INSUFFERABLE

maxverstappen1: what oscar said

user49: oscar and max are so real

user50: they can't leave us on this cliff hanger

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,043,788 others

landonorris: some snaps from '23

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user51: have we just been thirst trapped?

user52: i don't think it was intended for us

user53: this has "i am hotter than carlos sainz" written all over it

yourusername: posting tits on main, brave.

landonorris: i came second in singapore.

yourusername: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. modesty, ever heard of it lan?

landonorris: slutshaming isn't cute y/n

yourusername: you kinda have to pull to be a slut lan. you are under qualified for the position

landonorris: if you keep being mean to me i will call your mum or my mum.

yourusername: try it. i see cisca more than you, i have faith in her

landonorris: the line is busy. are you on the phone to MY mum right now?

yourusername: maybe.

user54: we're so close to them getting their heads out of their asses

user55: don't get my hopes up

danielricciardo: i hope this works lol

landonorris: you don't think i'm sexy?

danielricciardo: it doesn't matter what i think

landonorris: i'm not sexy :(

danielricciardo: you're baiting me but yes, you are sexy.

user56: i'll fight anyone who made this man believe he's not beautiful

liked by yourusername

user57: I SAW THAT 📸

user58: someone just lock them in a cupboard at this point

oscarpiastri: noted.

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 89,034 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: yeah, yeah. you can stop yelling at us now.

view all comments

user61: LET'S FUCKING GO

user62: it was worth all that yelling. i expect an invite to the wedding now.

user63: wedding? girly they only just realised their feelings after a DECADE

maxverstappen1: it was about fucking time

yourusername: okay miss ma'am. some people are EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE AND NOT VERY GOOD AT PROCESSING THEM

maxverstappen1: you must've been emotionally constipated because this was painful

yourusername: it was painful for me too

maxverstappen1: so painful that you dated CARLOS

yourusername: one date! ONE!

maxverstappen1: carlos said can you unblock him so he can be mean to me?

yourusername: fine.

carlossainz55: STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A BAD PERSON. YES I AM NOT THE BEST AT RELATIONSHIPS BUT LEAVE ME BE

maxverstappen1: lol

yourusername: lol

user64: unblocking carlos to hit him with the lol max and y/n might be more iconic than lando and y/n

landonorris: not on our relationship announcement post 🤨

user65: OOP.

landonorris: i love you doofus

yourusername: i love you too muppet

landonorris: how much was the betting pool for your family?

yourusername: it got to over £300

landonorris: ours was £750

yourusername: are we dumb?

landonorris: no!

oscarpiastri: two dumbass girls saying 'yass' to each other

yourusername: LEAVE US BE

landonorris: oscar :(

user66: not their own families betting on when they'd get together 😭

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,430,778 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: first win, hopefully not my only one.

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user67: MY BABIES

user68: i feel like i've been on this journey with them

oscarpiastri: thank god you guys got your shit together, i was THIS close to jumping out the nearest window if i had to watch lando mope around like a kicked puppy when y/n had the lil thing with carlos

user69: so it wasn't some grand plan?

oscarpiastri: no he's just dumb enough to actually set up his first love with his best friend

landonorris: OSCAR!

oscarpiastri: am i wrong?

landonorris: no... but! i got there in the end

oscarpiastri: good thing you're faster on track

user70: the grid being just as done with them as us is killing me

maxfewtrell: finally this unnecessarily long and overly convoluted saga has come to and end, lets never do this again!

landonorris: i'm locked in for life bro no worries

yourusername: awwwwwwwwwwwwww i love you too bubs

maxfewtrell: stop being sappy under my comment

yourusername: you just complained we didn't sort out our shit fast enough and now we're too sappy?

landonorris: STICK TO A STORY BOZO

maxfewtrell: now you're even more ride or die... can we go back?

yourusername: nope!

landonorris: nope!

maxverstappen1: i for one am very happy for you both

yourusername: thank you max !!

landonorris: not so fast, he had the biggest bet on us in the paddock

yourusername: get that bag sis

landonorris: ???

yourusername: we can't fight it anymore, let them have their jokes, we actually have each other now :)

landonorris: yes we do :) xx

user71: golly gosh this is so fucking cute

fin.

note: i hope this is what you were looking for and that you all enjoyed!! i'm just waiting on my tester sticker sheets for my small business @badlydrawnf1cats on here and on instagram, if you wanna give it a follow x tHANK YOU FOR READING MY LOVES X

[hero-the-meep]

Why is the Doctor making Donna a cup of coffee so significant?

Well, he is trying to impress her, to get her to travel with him again – like he tried to do by using the TARDIS to make it snow at Christmas the first time he asked her to travel with him.

But he got that attempt wrong. Donna doesn't like Christmas, and the Doctor having the power to make it snow "scared her to death."

A cup of coffee, just how she likes it, is (on the surface of it) a smaller gesture to show that he remembered the little details about her. A cup of coffee is what brought them together all those years ago.

But it's what Donna told the Doctor about what Lance making her that cup of coffee meant to her that the Doctor really listened to and remembered.

"I was temping. I mean, it was all a bit posh, really. I'd spent the last two years at a double glazing firm. Well, I thought, I'm never going to fit in here. And then he made me a cup of coffee. I mean, that just doesn't happen. Nobody gets the secretaries a coffee. "And Lance, he's the Head of HR, he didn't need to bother with me. But he was nice, he was funny. And it turns out he thought everyone else was really snotty too. So, that's how it started, me and him. One cup of coffee, and that was it."

Donna fell in love with Lance because he made her a cup of coffee. So used to being unnoticed and uncared for, something as simple as an 'important' man taking the time to make her a cup of coffee meant everything to Donna.

She thought it was a sign that he was kind, that he was nice. She thought it was a sign he noticed and cared for her.

And the Doctor sees how it devastates her to learn the real reason why he was making her coffee was to drug her for his own ends. Despite their differences, he's gentle when he breaks it to her. And it connects her to him in a shared grief.

So when the Doctor makes her a cup of coffee after she regains her memories, he's not just telling her that he remembers the little details about her like how she likes her coffee, but the big things too.

He's showing that he sees her, that he cares about her thoughts and feelings, that he wants to care for her after all these years when he couldn't. That he knows how important this is to her.

But that's not all.

In the alternative timeline, Donna never meets Lance. And yet, when she is upset, and afraid, she asks Rose Tyler for a cup of coffee. Steam rises from her mug as they stand around the console inside the dying TARDIS, and have the most honest conversation they've had yet about the Doctor and their feelings towards him.

In the proper timeline, the person we see Donna drinking coffee with is Wilf. In moments of joy and moments of upset they bond over coffee. Before she finds the Doctor again, Donna brings Wilf a thermos to escape Sylvia's criticisms.

Wilf is the only person in Donna's life who she can be herself around, who has unconditionally cared for her, and who she takes joy in caring for back.

Even in the alternative timeline, Wilf has held onto not only the telescope but the exact same thermos Donna brings him coffee in when he's up on the hill.

For the Doctor to remember how she takes her coffee, we know they must have had moments together like this off-screen too.

So when the Doctor makes her a cup of coffee, just how she likes it, he is communicating he remembers not just the small details of her but that he remembers all these things that she associates with making someone a cup of coffee – kindness, acceptance, being noticed, caring for someone and being cared for, home, and family.

It's possible, for the Doctor, there's an apology in that cup of coffee too.

But wait, there's still more.

Did Donna spill the cup of coffee on the console on purpose?

The slight of hand was rather obvious. And it came at a time when Donna was trying to convince him not to leave her, to come back home to her, if only just for a visit.

He'd not said no, but she'd easily seen through him the first time he lied about coming inside to have dinner with her family that first Christmas, and likely saw through him again – the avoidance of eye contact, fiddling with the TARDIS, the wane "yeah, maybe."

She also rather clearly wanted to go on another trip with him (she never wanted to stop in the first place), and was only saying no because of her obligations to her family. It's possible she was buying time by spilling the cup of coffee – just one more than one last trip, without it being her "fault."

She had, after all, just dropped a cup of coffee on a computer and lost a job she'd probably hated, knowing Donna. And before things had gone really wrong, she'd definitely been enjoying herself.

It's also possible she's still quite angry with the Doctor, but unable to fully verbalise this yet.

He connects the cup of coffee to remembering every detail of her. She has not been able to remember any detail of her life with him. The last time they were standing around the console together, he took her memories against her will. He says it killed him; but she – or that version of herself, the one she actually liked – was arguably the one who was killed.

And she might be remembering Lance, another man she truly loved and trusted, and how a cup of coffee seemed like a kindness but was in fact a lie, a violation.

The Doctor quite possibly also suspects something like this is what might have happened, given his level of anger at her.

Despite the fact that this Doctor is more able to admit his feelings, we don't see what happened between them when he took her memories ever properly resolved in words.

Instead, there are a series of proxy arguments that stand in for it – Donna's anger that she gave away all her money because of him, that he sees taking the slow path, living a life day after day as such agony when he made her do it, his anger at her faith that he will know how to defeat the Toy Maker.

And their most emotional proxy argument of all – who is at fault for stranding them at the edge of the universe? Is it Donna, who spilt the cup of coffee, or the Doctor, who she couldn't stop from wandering off?

Thematically, however, there is some resolution. The Doctor lets Donna decide to regain her memories, even if it means she'll die. The Doctor knows Donna enough to save her from being left to die alone, even if it is at the very last moment. The Doctor admits he used to think he knew everything, but now he knows he doesn't.

Donna gets to tell him it's not all about him saving her, gets him to stop, finally gets him to come home with her.

And in their last scene, it's the Doctor who is having the cup of coffee.

[yuki-world]

刃 | BLADE ; DRUNK

summary | you get drunk; words that shouldn't be said come spilling out. blade indulges, no matter how how annoying he finds youー or so he wants you to think.

tags | nsfw (smut), fem!reader, drinking/alcohol, fingering, clothed sex, vaginal penetration, creampie, 2.3k words

a/n : basically i have inappropriate things to say about blade

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

"is it in your nature to be this annoying?"

"what? you're no fun," you pouted, retracting your hand holding the shot glass. "don't tell me... you can't handle hard liquor?"

blade grumbles, crossing his arms. "don't be ridiculous."

it was supposed to be a celebration for the end of you and blade's mission, but it seems like he wasn't too into these sort of things. you were quite the opposite of him. outgoing, extroverted. he's coldー exactly like ice. it's not the easiest trying to have a conversation with him, it's almost like he shuts you down in an instant with a one-liner every time you try. however, he has more or less opened up to you compared to the first time you joined the stellaron hunters.

blade finds it weird how he naturally gravitates towards you. everyone knows he likes to keep to himself, it's just how he is. but somehow, he was entertaining you and this silly celebration of yours which he has told you multiple times that it was unnecessary. you just make him feel so... welcomed, is the only way he could describe it. though you can be quite annoying at timesー or all the time, he doesn't find himself mad at you.

even now, when you're drunkenly babbling nonsense, he's still entertaining you. even you find it weird. that thought lasts no longer than a few seconds though, as you downed the shot that you had poured for blade prior.

you're handing him a shot glass again, and your face is so... red. you looked so vulnerable, a sight he's never seen before. were you drunk? it seemed so, with the way you were swaying, pushing that shot glass in his face. how annoying, he thinks. you couldn't even handle a few shots without being drunk? "just one? c'mon, blade."

fine, he will. only because he wants to drinkー not because he thinks you're too fucking cute with that pout on your face begging him to down one together with you. definitely not.

and so, he does. he takes the shot glass from your hand, and he feels the heat radiating off your skin; a pleasant kind of warmth. he downs it in one go, and your eyes light up immediately. "so you can take hard liquor," you chuckle, clapping your hands.

"i never said i couldn't," he sighs, setting the empty shot glass down.

you've been pouring him glass after glass, matching every shot he takes. at this point, you're already more or less at your limit from the way you're speaking with no filter. to be honest, he's not really interested in whatever stories you have to tell. he's more so worried from the way you're clumsily spilling the liquor everywhere.

"enough already. you're drunk," he says, but you don't think so, at least not yet. you can still think. "i'm not," you try, hands reaching towards the bottle yet again.

"don't bother trying to convince me," he says, taking the bottle away from you swiftly. "bladeー"

"don't 'blade' me," he stands up, glancing in your direction. "get up, we're going."

you shake your head. "please, just a little longer," you plead, pulling on his sleeve to prevent him from leaving. "i have something to tell you."

"save it for tomorrow. stand up," he says, unmoving. he sees you stumbling as you try to stabilize yourself, holding onto the table for support.

his attempt to support you proves futile, with you falling backwards onto the couch and dragging him down with you. he's on top of youー in such close proximity you feel his breath fan against your face. non-drunk you would've been blushing profusely and pushing him off, but partially-drunk you couldn't be bothered to be embarrassed about this position. before he has a chance to get off you, you blurt out the words, i want you.

"nonsense," is the first thing he tells you. noー you probably don't mean it. it's just you spilling out drunken nonsense again. what do you even mean by that anyway?

it's when you shake your head, repeating the same three words, even adding a 'really' before 'want', that for a split second, he thinks it might be genuine. it all happens too fast, he barely registers you grabbing onto his shirt, and before he can say anything, you're pulling him down for a kiss, slamming your lips onto his.

there’s no hesitation; he relaxes into the kiss immediately. you taste like pure alcohol from the drinking session just a while ago, but even so, there’s an underlying hint of sweetness on your lips. he finds it hard to pull away, you’re just so intoxicating. he wants more, more of youー more of everything from you. you can tell he does, just by the way he’s slipping his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss even further.

you feel so hot, so warm, almost as if someone turned off the air conditioner. you pop the first few buttons of your top open, revealing just a little bit more skin. subconsciously, your knee starts rubbing against his crotch, and he breaks away from the kiss immediately.

“and what do you think you’re doing?” he asks, making you freeze. “mm, nothing.”

“nothing?” he repeats, moving your knee away. “you’re drunk," he says for the umpteenth time tonight.

“then tell me to stop,” you boldly demand, moving your knee back to the same position, grinding against his crotch once more. you don’t miss the way he lets out a soft exhale, the bulge in his pants growing bigger each time you rub against it. “tell me you don’t want it.” your hands glide across his chest, finger hooking onto the neckline of his top. “tell me you don’t want to fuck meー tell me."

…he won’t. he won’t tell you to stop. to say he’s been waiting a long time for this was an understatement. he wants you, so, so bad. he’s not going to let an opportunity like this slip away, for it might not happen again. in fact, he might not even know if any of you would bring this up after; you might not remember. but for now, he’ll make this worth his timeー and especially worth yours.

large hands pry your knees apart, slotting himself in-between. “oh, i’ll fuck you alright,” he assures, pulling your shorts down, rubbing his thumb against your covered cunt. you’re absolutely soaked. he couldn’t wait to see your bare pussy in all its glory, and of course, his dick inside it. he grinds his clothed bulge against you, eliciting a gasp from you.

he doesn’t bother to take your panties off, it wasn’t necessary. after all, blade is an impatient man. he's not going to waste anymore time removing those pesky undergarmentsー he needs to feel you now.

he slides your panties to the side, slotting two fingers into your cunt. you take them so easily with how wet you are. it squelches embarrassingly each time he pumps his fingers in and out of you, but you're too focused on how his fingers are making you feel to be ashamed. "blade," you moan out, his fingers curling inside you.

too good. his fingers felt too good. his thumb rubs circles on your clit, your back arching into his touch. were you just super turned on, or was he just that skilled? not that it mattered, you felt like you were in heaven. you don't even want to imagine how skilled he would be with his cockー you're just drooling thinking about it.

"too loud," he complains, but he fucks a third finger into you anyway, as if you wouldn't moan louder. it's the middle of the night, door locked; no one's going to hear. he knows that very well, but he's not going to admit that he wants to hear more of your moansー it's more fun that way. your moans go straight to his cock, making it twitch and throb against his pants. he's so mean, you think. always says one thing but means the opposite.

his fingers pull out of your sopping wet cunt, translucent strings following as he pops his digits into his own mouth. he lets you watch him; his tongue slurping your juices off his fingers, making sure he gets to savor every taste of you. fuck, you taste so good, it has his head spinning. how? he could taste you for the rest of his life.

he would go straight for the source of your delicious taste, but he doesn't have the patience for that right nowー he's sure you feel the same. his fingers are eagerly undoing his pants, pulling them down slightly to pull his cock out.

"what? stop staring," he grumbles, but how could you not? the length and girth of his cock had your jaw dropping. it honestly intimidated you a bit; it'd be a challenge to fit it inside you. "i'm not staring! just..."

he spits in his hand, rubbing the liquid all over his cock. he catches the way your eyes flicker between his face and his cock in worry, and he can't help but give you some reassurance.

"i'll make it fit. you just lay here andー" he starts, rubbing his cockhead around your hole. he slowly pushes in, your hole opening up and swallowing him in immediately. "ーtake it. fuck."

"ahー blade, nnh," you whine in satisfaction as pushes more of himself inside you, your legs spreading open on its own to take more of him. he leans down, letting you wrap your arms around his neck. he pushes your legs further back, finally bottoming out inside you after what felt like ages. he lets you take a short breather, before he starts thrusting.

blade isn't the type to go slow and let you adjustー he fucks you as fast and hard as he can from the beginning. it's not like he doesn't have the stamina to back him up. he wants to hear you scream in pleasure, to fuck you dumb until you can't say anything but his name.

but he can't exactly do that when you're squeezing around his cock like that. it was clear from the start how tight of a fit it would be, but he didn't know it would feel this tight. he doesn't know if you're doing it intentionally, but you clamp around him every single time he thrusts, and it's driving him crazy.

"shitー stop clenching," blade says, licking a stripe up your neck. "or i'll really fuck you 'till you can't walk tomorrow."

"is that supposed to be a threat?" you chuckle, and he grunts. you wrap your legs around him, pushing him deeper into you. he shudders.

you make him so hard, he wants to blow his load in you, on you, everywhere. you're not hisー yetー but he wants everyone to know that you are. "annoying... even when i'm fucking you."

he pulls his cock out until only the tip is left, before slamming his entire length back into you. you cry his name out again and again, the room filled with nothing but moans and groans, skin-against-skin slapping. he's pounding the air straight out of your lungs, you find it hard to breathe. you find yourself kissing him again, this time, sloppily, as he continues thrusting into you.

blade flips you around so that you're on top of him. his fingers grip your waist tight, guiding you up and down his cock as you ride him. you grind against the base of his cock occasionally, letting his cock rub against your cervix. where did you learn this from? who taught you how to please a man this well? fuck, don't get jealous now.

"so close, blade, i can't," you're whining, hands on his chest for support. you're panting, and your legs feel like jelly every time you try to lift yourself up. you're so fucked out you can barely catch your breath, but you need to cum so bad. "i knowー shit, stop moving."

and you do. you sit prettily on his cock, letting him fuck his cock up into your sopping wet pussy. you take it, take it so well for him he can't help but pull you down into his arms. you're so good to him.

you're definitely drunkー drunk on his cock. you're drooling on his shirt from the way his arms are tight around you, his dick drilling deep into your insides. blade pants in your ear, one hand reaching down to slap your ass.

"make me cum, please, pleaseee," you whine into his chest, coming out muffled. but he hears you loud and clear, and he flips you around yet again. "yeah? you wanna cum?"

his fingers furiously rub against your clit, and you arch your back in response. maybe the alcohol in your system was intensifying every sensation, but for a moment all you see is a flash of white, and the knot near your stomach snaps. "blade!"

you cry out his name as you cum, your nails clawing into his biceps, body twisting around. your orgasm makes your pussy squeeze around his cock to the point that his cock starts pulsing inside you. he couldn't stop himself from cumming, you felt too good.

"oh fuck, cummingー" he's stuttering as he nestles his cock deep inside you, releasing his warm cum all inside you. you tighten around him again at the feeling, milking him for all that his worth. he pulls his spent cock out of your hole instantly, rubbing the dribbles of cum on his cockhead against your folds. you pout at the loss of his cock filling your insides. you're so tired, your eyes are closing.

it takes only a few seconds before thick white globs drip down your ass, ultimately staining the surface the both of you were on. "why did you pull out?" you asked lazily, relaxing your body.

"what, you're not satisfied?" he questions, playing with the mess at your entrance. "i'll stuff you full againー if that's what's you want."

...

"...y/n."

too bad you don't hear him; you're already fast asleep, tiredness overtaking your body. you looked somewhat peaceful.

"annoying," blade mumbles to himself.

but he thinks you’re cute.

ー @yuki-world

[kamiversee]

➶-͙˚ ༘✶ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁*𝘾𝙆 𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏

✧.* CHAPTER 4 || The Power of Lust

[ { SYPNOSIS } ] ➤ A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt. Sounds easy enough, right?

[ { CHAPTER CONTENT } ] ➤ language, a tinge of smut, & sexual tension.

[ { WORD COUNT } ] ➤ 5.2k

[ { PAIRINGS } ] ➤ jjk men x f!reader. gojo x f!reader. geto x f!reader. toji x f!reader. choso x f!reader. sukuna x f!reader. nanami x f!reader.

[ [ chapters mlist } ]

——IT WAS ALMOST AS THOUGH twenty-four hours had gone by in the simple blink of your eye. The day of your date with Geto arrived much sooner than you anticipated.

You had expected the hours to be long and for every second to be excruciating. These expectations of yours quickly went down the drain when you found yourself at the front door to Gojo and Geto's apartment the next day.

Fiddling with your fingers, tugging at the bottom of your violet-shaded dress, and tapping your foot on the floor below due to an excessive build-up of nerves. Your heart is pounding. Why? Because the dress you're wearing is far too short and tight, it reveals an unnecessary amount of cleavage, and having your back exposed doesn't help much either.

Of course, it was Gojo who'd bought the dress for you. He told you that Geto would like it on you so, here you are.

You insisted with Geto that you'd meet him at his place at 7 o'clock but here you are ten minutes before seven trying to pull yourself together. After all, the date itself isn't exactly important. It's seducing Geto and convincing him to have sex with you as soon as possible that is.

A hand has been raised to the door of the apartment time and time again but never did you knock. You refused to. Given how worried you are, you stand there rehearsing how you expect this night to go mentally.

It should be simple; greet Geto, go out to a nearby restaurant, get to know him enough while flirting with him, and ultimately... fuck him by the end of the night.

Easy.

...

Right?

No. Not even close. There's absolutely no way you can do this. You got lucky with Gojo; he already wanted to sleep with you. Geto is a whole different story, hell, he's literally a stranger to you. Nine times out of ten, your words will fall off your tongue the second you lay eyes on him.

But then again, just maybe it won't go so bad. The trick to flirting is simply being quick and witty with your responses. Just lure him in. It won't be hard.

With a deep breath and a small friendly smile, you finally tap your knuckles against the door.

It takes a few minutes but after your knock, instead of Geto opening the door, it's Gojo who flings his front door open.

That smile of yours drops instantly as you meet those annoying blue eyes of his.

"Satoru, what the hell?" You whine.

Naturally, you're bothered by the way you had finally managed to get somewhere only for Gojo to open it.

His bright white locks of hair are noticeably wet, his eyelids low, his shirt nowhere to be seen, and his black sweats just barely hanging off that oddly attractive waist of his. That stupid smirk of his that he usually gives you is missing but his face is reddened and he looks slightly out of breath.

With a head tilt and leaning his body against the door frame, Gojo speaks to you in a startlingly low tone. "Thought' I told you to call me when you got here...?" He huffs.

You roll your eyes, "Why would I call you when I'm not here for you? And are you okay? Why's your hair wet?"

For a minute, Gojo is unresponsive. Not because he wanted to be rude or anything but because the man was far too distracted taking in your appearance. Your hair was done nicely, he swears your face is glowing in perfection, and the way you look in that tight dark purple fabric only makes Gojo furrow his brows as he focuses on it.

All his attention goes to the way the dress clings to you, the way it shapes you, and even that faint but pleasant scent of perfume that radiates off your skin.

With no response from him yet, you loom forward a little, "Satoru? Hello?" You call out. His gaze is slow but it eventually settles on your eyes again after you raise a hand to snap your fingers at him. "Are you okay??" You repeat.

Gojo nods lazily, a clear lie but you don't exactly get much time to scold him about it because the male steps forward and shuts his apartment door behind him. On instinct, you step back. His lack of words to you is odd, especially since he's normally so talkative. And this look in his eyes...

"The dress looks good on you." He compliments while taking yet another step toward you.

You swallow hard, "Thanks but can you answer at least one of my questions, I'm already nervous enough as it is and I don't need you adding-"

Gojo steps forward again, causing your mouth to close as you step back into a wall. The hallway isn't exactly small but it sure felt like it with the way Gojo had you pressed against the wall.

Again, you swallow down your nerves and narrow your eyes up at the man. He heaves out a sigh and bends down to your level, meeting your eyes at a closer range and inching toward you. The closer he gets, the stronger this scent of freshness becomes.

As his face nears yours, you notice how ridiculously clear his skin is, how he smells like soap, and it doesn't take many other signs to realize that he'd recently got out of the shower.

"Satoru...?" You whisper, "Why are you getting so close?"

Your words come out slowly, anxiety building up throughout your veins. Gojo's head tips to the side a little and he suddenly places a hand at your waist. If you weren't already nervous you surely are now.

"Y'know," He begins, voice still low, "There's no time frame on the list I gave you."

Confused by his actions and words, your face scrunches up a little. "Yeah, I already knew that. Why are you reminding me?" You ask as you carefully slip a hand over his own and try to remove his hold on you.

Gojo licks his lips and gives you a tired little smirk, "Cause', you don't have to hook up with Suguru today."

You blink. "I know but I have to at least go on a date with him. This is all a part of my plan, y'know?" You say gently, attempting to lighten the oddly tense mood.

His sights fall to your lips, "Oh, you have an actual plan?"

"Yeah? Why wouldn't I?" You huff out before moving your hands to his chest. You want to push him away a little but when you try, he doesn't budge at all.

Gojo instead only gets closer, his breath hitting your lips. The man then places his hands over your wrists and pulls them upwards to wrap around his neck.

Your brows immediately furrow again, "Satoru-"

"Can you kiss me?" He cuts off.

Your hands are already halfway around his neck but even as you comfortably wrap them, you want to tell him no. You really want to but with the way he's looking at you, how close he is, and how he refuses to look away from your lips... you couldn't get the word no out in time.

Gojo closes the distance between your face and his but he doesn't kiss you. His lips only brush over yours, "Don't make me beg for it." He hums.

You gulp, "Why... Why do you want to kiss so suddenly?"

Those pretty blue eyes of his finally glide up to your own and you can see the neediness in his gaze. "Just one?" He asks, completely disregarding your question.

"I..." You trail off. For a second, you'd forgotten what you came over for.

And it is in that second that Gojo's voice drops to a whisper, "Please?"

Who are you to decline Gojo Satoru of one kiss when he asks so nicely? Even though he's blackmailing you to do ridiculous things; his touches and his gentleness with you are what keep tugging at the strings of your heart.

Even now, the man peers down at you as if you are the very air he needs to breathe. It's like there's nothing else important to him-- not his best friend awaiting your arrival, not the list of people he's asked you to sleep with, just you and him.

Dropping your sights down to his lips and letting out a sigh, "Only one." You finally murmur in response.

It won't hurt, right? One little kiss?

You push up on your toes a little and tilt your head opposite of him as you press your lips into his. Surprise comes to you when Gojo hums against you as soon as he feels you. Hands slide to your waist and instead of a little peck on the lips, the two of you share one prolonged slow kiss.

Your lips part over his but his tongue is quick to slip into your mouth. Somewhere in your mind, you told yourself you should stop but when you have Gojo's hands all over you and when he begins kissing you harder, logical thoughts are quickly lost.

Plus, you had time before meeting Geto so you weren't worried about getting caught... for the most part.

The feeling of Gojo's hand against your exposed back makes you arch into him a bit. The two of you wet up each other's lips and his free hand goes to your hip, "C'mere," He whispers in between your lips before he tugs you closer.

Hums leave your throat as the slight groan in his voice causes you to lose all sense of thought. That's when you get into it a bit more-- sliding a hand up into his hair, pushing your chest flush against his, and slipping your tongue over his.

It's sensual and timeless. Everything about Gojo Satoru constantly distracts or consumes you. His hand is gentle against your back but the hold he has on your hip is possessive.

As though this small kiss was a reminder for you, Gojo wants it to be clear that even if you go off and sleep with every man on that list in one day: he's still here waiting for you. Blackmail or not, Gojo longs for this; your touch, your kiss, the sound of your voice, you. And it is this last kiss that he uses to tell you that.

Even though... you don't put all of that together in that moment. To you, he's just kissing you because he doesn't know how to control himself.

It's not long after the kiss grows more heated that the sound of his apartment door opening startles the two of you. Both of you tare your lips apart with a loud smack and you go as far as pushing him away a bit so that the two of you look inconspicuous.

"There you are," Geto's voice is heard from behind Gojo, "I was looking everywhere for you Satoru."

Almost like a switch was flipped, Gojo's voice is back to normal. "Yeah?" He says with a little chuckle.

Your body is blocked by Gojo so Geto hasn't exactly set eyes on you just yet. Before he moves, Gojo raises a hand to his mouth and swipes his lower lip with his thumb. His eyes are directly on yours and chills run down your spine as you watch him lick off, what you assume to be the taste of your lips, from his thumb.

With a shake of your head, you return your focus to your reasoning for being here. After which, you pop your head around Gojo's body and make eye contact with Geto.

"Oh, I didn't even see you there," Geto chuckles as he flashes you a smile.

Good lord, your predictions were right-- your mind is already scrambling for a response. Why? Because you're too distracted wondering if it's even legal to look that good. Then again, he's no different from Gojo; both men are absurdly attractive.

A long black trench coat hangs off Geto's shoulders, the grey-colored fabric of a turtle neck noticeable to you, and black dress pants. The entire outfit is fitting for the date you're going on and your attire compliments him so... Why the hell do you feel so self-conscious?

Gojo clears his throat, and steals one more full glance at you before turning his head to his best friend and smiling, "You didn't hear the knock on the door?" He asks.

"No, I didn't," Geto replies, looking slightly confused. "But it doesn't matter," He hums, shifting his gaze to you, "I'm glad you're here."

You force a smile, trying to shake off the lingering feeling of Gojo's lips over yours. "Yeah, sorry about that. I guess I knocked too softly."

Geto waves it off, his smile widening. "It's fine," He says as he glances at his watch, "You were early anyways."

Slowly, you step to the side so that Gojo is no longer blocking the rest of your body and that smile on Geto's face flickers a bit. His breath gets stuck right in the middle of his throat but he plays it off with a cough, turning his head to the side and looking away from you.

Gojo, who feels forgotten already, tries to enter relevancy by tossing an arm over your shoulder. You flinch a bit but he's casual with his next words. "She looks good, right Suguru?" He asks.

Geto inhales deeply and just barely looks at you one more time, "Too damn good," He mutters to himself before playing it off with a simple nod.

A slight squeeze is given to your arm before Gojo looks at you, "See? I told you he'd like it."

You shoot him a quick glare before pushing his arm off you, "Whatever."

Geto chuckles at the interaction between you and his best friend. From his perspective, you seem to always be annoyed by Gojo but that's nothing new to Geto. He knows firsthand how annoying Gojo can be sometimes so he understands your displayed frustration and thinks nothing of it.

"A-Anyways," You start, bringing yourself to Geto's side and smoothly slipping your arms around one of his. You then incline your head up to him, "We should get going now."

Geto glances down at you, uses every ounce of restraint he has to not look at your cleavage, and then nods. "Yeah." Looking back up at his friend, he smiles, "Bye Satoru."

You don't notice it but Gojo gives Geto a look before smiling. "Have fuun." Gojo teases, turning to head inside.

With that, Geto carefully pulls you along and the two of you head down the hallway toward the elevator. You turn back to look at Gojo one more time for reasons you yourself are unsure of, noticing that his eyes are quick to meet yours.

Gojo winks at you and you scowl, your reaction only earning a chuckle from him before he dips into his apartment.

Out of your sight, Gojo lets out a shaky sigh and looks down at himself. He's relieved that you didn't even realize the raging bulge in his sweats.

The male's back rests against the door and he tips his head back. Fuck, the way that dress looked on you was way better than he imagined it would.

You didn't know it but when you knocked on the door, Gojo had been in the middle of fisting his cock in thought of you. He'd been in the shower, water running down his toned body while stroking his length. All while replaying past events of you beneath him.

When he heard the door, he had to stop what he was doing because he didn't hear Geto answer it and didn't want you standing out in the hallway all alone for too long.

Then, when he saw you in that dress... he had half a mind to pull you into the apartment and fuck you against the nearest surface without a care in the world of your date with his best friend. The way you won't leave his mind is dizzying.

Even at this very second, his hand found its way wrapped around his cock again. Damnit, Gojo curses himself for the effect you unknowingly have on him.

Just what did he get himself into...?

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

In the elevator down, you remain close to Geto's body. He smells really good and it's only the two of you inside so you feel less awkward holding his arm. His apartment is decently high up in the building they live in, located on the ninth floor, so it takes a few minutes to get down.

And it doesn't help that the elevator is really slow, creaking and straining with each floor it passes. Around the sixth floor, you steal a glance at Geto's side profile. You just wanted a quick look at him, y'know to take in more of his appearance. Yet, you quickly forget the words you wanted to say.

Thus resulting in you admiring his looks from the side.

Your staring doesn't go unnoticed, "You alright?" Geto suddenly says, causing you to jump. Quickly, you take your eyes off him but he only smiles and turns his head to you, "I don't mind you staring but, you looked like you wanted to say something."

How did he see you staring without looking at you? You have no idea. "No, it's nothing." You say casually.

"You sure? Was there something on my face or...?" Geto questions further.

You shake your head, "Nope. I was just uhm..."

He tilts his head, focused completely on you and how you no longer want to glance at him. "Just what? Admiring me?" Geto teases.

You scoff playfully, "Yeah."

An eyebrow is raised, "Yeah?" He repeats.

"Mhm..." You nod a little, still refusing to look at him again. You can't handle the eye contact.

Geto smirks, "Why'd you stop?"

You shrug, "I was done with my admiration."

"So soon?" He teases.

The way his eyes won't leave your face is frustrating. Your brain is already all over the place, wondering if you smell alright, look alright, and even sound alright. You haven't been on a date in so long so of course you're nervous.

You try focusing on the slow change of floors as the elevator descends but it's no use. Instead, you sigh and finally glance at Geto again, "Yup." You hum.

The moment you meet his eyes he grins, "What if I wanted you to continue?"

Flirt. Now's your chance. The whole point of this is to seduce him so do that. You tell yourself before smiling a little, "Do you?"

"Yes, actually." The man replies honestly as he drinks in the sight of your smile, "I like your eyes on me."

"Is that the only part of me you'd like on you, Suguru?" You suddenly blurt out with a boldness you didn't even expect yourself to have.

Geto pauses, having not expected you to utter such a thing so abruptly. After a second, he chuckles and sets his sights elsewhere, "Cute but, we can save that for later."

Damnit. The man is almost like a brick wall when it comes to having a sexual conversation. You wonder if it's obvious that you want to sleep with him. Are you being too transparent with your goals?

Wait... is this how guys feel when they take girls out on dates just to get in their pants? Damn, who would've thought it'd be so frustrating. Only difference is, your exposure is on the line here. Who knows what Gojo will do if you somehow fail to seduce any of the men on the list.

"Actually," Geto suddenly says, breaking you from your thoughts. "I changed my mind," He voices, looking to you.

Your heart sinks a little. Changed his mind about what? Is he about to cancel this date already? Did you go too far...? Shit, did you make him uncomfortable-

"Your eyes aren't the only thing of yours I want on me," He hums, now catching you by surprise. His arm then moves from out of your hold and is placed on your lower back, startling you for the second time in a row.

A sudden tug of your body to his has your heart beating like crazy. Geto peers down at you and tilts his head again, "I want your body on me too but we made reservations, gorgeous." He says, voice deep. His body then tips down closer to you, "You wouldn't wanna be late to that now would you?"

Your head shakes slowly, almost as though you'd been put in a trance by both his smooth words and intense look.

"That's what I thought," Geto moves a hand to your chin and pushes your head up further so he can get a clear look at your face. "So, you think you can be patient for me?"

You nod and notice how he looks down to your lips.

Placing a thumb to your bottom lip, he weighs it down slightly, "Words, use them. I haven't done anything to take your breath away yet."

A subtle wave of heat rushes to your face, "R-Right. I can be patient."

"You sure?" Geto teases.

The look in your eyes changes a little and you push your lips further against his thumb as if to taunt him. "Mhm." You hum in an innocent manner.

You weren't aware of it and nor did you mean to, but you definitely just gave him bedroom eyes. The sight has Geto clearing his throat and moving his hand from your face before looking away from you.

A ding is heard as the elevator finally reaches the lobby floor. Geto lightly pushes on your lower back and you get the hint by walking out slightly ahead of him.

As you step out of the elevator, Geto's eyes finally slip up and drop down to your ass. He tells himself it was an accident and that he didn't even mean to look but he most definitely does not try to look away once his eyes are there.

Even though he doesn't look away, he regrets his sight falling so low in the first place. The dress you're wearing is nothing more than a distraction. The man was already struggling to keep his mind at bay from when he first saw you. Then when you had looped your arms around his, he felt the side of your breast press against him and it caused his mind to stray.

The question you asked a few minutes ago was no help either. How ridiculous, asking him if he wants more of you on him. Of course he does, have you seen yourself? The way your eyes get all seductive when you look up at him, those little scoffs and giggles that leave you from time to time, and practically every time you touch him or he feels you, Geto finds himself affected by you.

So as he watches you walk a few steps ahead of him, eyes glued to your ass, he keeps replaying that question of yours over. He could've answered it so many other ways, all of which would probably have taken you by surprise.

He could only imagine the look on your face if he told you his true thoughts. How his mind forced imaginations of you over him, your thighs caging his head, cunt over his mouth while his tongue fucks up into you-

God, he should not be thinking like this. Is it because he's hungry? Perhaps. Geto tries to deter these thoughts by thinking of actual food, something that won't make him horny but will instead work up his appetite. And it almost worked too, that was... until you dropped your phone and bent over in front of him.

Poor guy didn't even realize how short that dress of yours actually was until you went down to grab your phone. It was purposeful too, bending over instead of crouching down, exposing more of your thighs and even giving the man a flash of the lace beneath your dress.

As you swipe your phone up, you take the quickest peak behind you to see Geto's eyes widened ever so slightly and his focus exactly where you wanted it. You intentionally take a second to get your phone in your hands to prolong teasing the man.

Geto, who definitely knows that all your actions are deliberate, shoots his eyes upward so that he's no longer looking at you. He takes a sigh, thinking that he's managed to control himself. Yet, his feet and hands never stopped moving. He stepped right into you, almost toppling your body over.

His hands moved instinctively, grabbing ahold of your hips so that neither of you fell over. Doing so, his crotch comes into direct contact with you and you're quick to stand up.

As you stand, you purposefully arch your back a little, prolonging the feeling of your ass pressing back into Geto's crotch. After trying so hard to control himself, your actions made all his efforts go down the drain.

Hands slide up from your hips to your waist and he makes sure that you can feel him against you as he moves to your ear.

"Careful now," He murmurs to you with a deep tone, "Bending over like that..." He moves his hand a little to tug your dress down properly so that it's not hiking up your legs, "Are you trying to show everybody what's supposed to be mine tonight?" Geto utters to you in full seriousness, tutting afterward.

You glance around the lobby, seeing only a few people scattered around, none of which seem to be paying the two of you any mind. "No one saw me but you." You respond to the man.

He scoffs, "Let's keep it that way. Don't bend over in front of me like that unless..." He holds his tongue, sighing instead.

Control, he's lacking it majorly right now. He was fine when he first met you, fine when you and he texted about the date, and even fine when you spoke on the phone a little.

Your head turns to the side and you meet his gaze, ignoring the pounding of your heart, "Unless what?" You say teasingly.

Geto stares at you with low lids, you're driving him crazy and the date hasn't even begun yet. Leaning in a bit closer to you, his lips nearing your own but never connecting, "Unless you wanna get fucked in front of everyone." He tells you.

Part of you wanted to tell yourself that this was just flirting but the way he gazes at you tells you otherwise. He's dead serious. So serious that you don't even have a response to that, whatever confidence you had before freezes and you just look into his eyes.

Your little pause gave you enough time to come up with a response, "Maybe I do," You blurt out before turning your head away.

You then start walking forward, Geto's hands slipping off your body as you do so. He raises one of those hands to his jaw and rubs it a little, letting out a scoff in reaction to your straightforwardness.

The change between the woman you present yourself to be now versus the woman he first met is quite noticeable. Not that he prefers one over the other, Geto enjoyed it when you were stuttering over simple words but he also likes how upfront you're being tonight. It makes him wonder if you'll still be acting this way later on tonight while he-

"C'mon Suguru, we have reservations to get to. Remember?" You throw out to him, taking him from his thoughts as you exit the building and he soon catches up to you.

Again, he scoffs. This time Geto smiles as he follows you out. Tonight will be fun. He thinks to himself.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

The two of you took an Uber to the restaurant, the air within the ride blooming with lust. His hand ends up resting on your thigh during the ride, playing with the plush of your skin every now and then.

Each squeeze he gives to your leg makes you squirm, whispering to him that it tickles and earning a chuckle from him. As the car drives through the streets of the city, Geto's hand only plans to tease you more.

At first, it merely rested atop your thigh, but as the ride continued, he slowly slid it so that his fingers were right against your inner thigh.

He continues to toy with your skin before he leans over to you, whispering into your ear, "You plan on teasing me all night?"

You smile, "Maybe."

His hand pulls on your thigh a bit, causing your legs to part. "Think you can handle what your teasing invokes?" Geto questions, almost as if he were trying to warn you.

You laugh his question off and turn your head to look at him, your faces closer than you expected them to be. "I think so, yeah." You say half-confidently.

The raven-haired male's eyes dip down to your lips and he bites down on his lower one. That hand of his begins sliding up and you gasp as his fingers tread dangerously close to your crotch.

"Yeah? Well, I'll tell you from now, you can't." He claims.

With a roll of your eyes, you scoff and turn your head away from him, "Whatever."

Geto's hand parts your legs even wider and he pushes himself to your ear, "You could hardly handle Satoru," He taunts, moving his other hand in between your legs and pressing two fingers against you. "What makes you think you can handle me, gorgeous?"

Your body tenses and you're quick to shoot your hand down over his wrist, attempting to move him away. His fingers knead into you and your jaw drops a little as your eyes widen. The two of you are almost to the restaurant and you're frantically looking at the Uber driver to ensure that they're not paying attention.

Luckily, their focus is completely on the road ahead but that doesn't stop you from feeling anxious.

You close your legs on Geto's hand and he snickers in your ear, "Want me to stop?" He asks.

Despite his question, his two fingers rub against your underwear, taking the idea of teasing to another level. Your head nods in response but your hips push into his touch a little, causing him to furrow his brows.

"Shit, you're naughty." He whispers lowly, "In an Uber? Seriously?"

"Fuck, n-no..." You murmur, turning your head to him, "Move your hand, please?" You slightly gasp out, arousal spurring within you due to the gentle teasing rub of Geto's digits.

He does, sliding his hand away just as you requested. A mischievous smile is plastered across his face now and you're quick to realize... Gojo was right; Geto does in fact plan to have a 'field day' with you-- and this was only the beginning.

That, and Geto just confirmed for a second time that he is well aware of your intentions, probably the list you're forced to go through, and even the fact that you've already slept with Gojo.

Damn that white-haired asshole. Of course he told Geto everything, you shouldn't be surprised.

The issue is, now you'll likely have to deal with Geto taunting you about that stupid list and he may not even sleep with you tonight just to tarnish your plans.Great...

GOJO SATORU ✔︎

GETO SUGURU ☐

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