#the last of us 2 oc

[saintgoths]

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ

CHAPTER ONE - JACKSON, WYOMING

WORD COUNT - 2,369 WORDS.

RATING - G

She stood in front of them, arms protectively in front of her children who stood frightened and dishevelled behind her, there were three kins, each of them gripped onto the limbs of their mother, affrighted of the guns that were pointed towards them.

The woman’s eyes were wide as globes, as she was ready for her near end, she wanted to speak and urge the people to give them a chance to take habit in the Jackson community, withal, the woman’s eyes softened as a woman who held a shot-gun become hesitant the moment she noticed the three off-springs who stood terrified and clutched onto their mother as if she were their life source.

“It’s okay,” the woman put down her shot-gun and reassured her men, “let them in.”

The family of four underwent a dawn of relief as the gates loudly creaked and scraped open, allowed the four of them to enter the growing community. The children still latched adjacent against their mother scoped the surroundings with their eyes, remarked the warmth the community breathed that gently parched the cold condition they were in.

The mother, named Isabella Rosalind, a widowed fourty-two-year-old woman was set into a cabin large enough for her and her youngest daughter as her two kins lived in their own cabins that were opposite of hers. It’s been partly two days ever since Isabella’s arrival with her children; and the widowed woman was able to quickly settle in her new place, her skill of adaptability. Though, she was unsure about the rest of them, as the worrying matriarch she is, Isabella has attempted to check on her two oldest children, Ivy and Robin but they consoled and soothed her that everything was going to be fine.

Her youngest daughter, Venus, Isabella was certain that Venus struggled to settle, howbeit, Isabella couldn’t rush her youngest child as it has barely even been a week.

The day was new, and Isabella knew it wouldn’t do good if she imprisoned herself in her new home, the woman was able to comprehend that many of the citizens of Jackson were very close with one another and Isabella wanted them to warm up to her.

Venus waited for her mother, sat down on their large wooden deck, eyes settled against the complicated words of a book she found comfort in, Isabella didn’t understand it. Well, she understood the book but couldn’t find herself understanding why her daughter found comfort in such a sanguinary and murderous book, that was way before her time.

“Hi Mrs Rosalind!”

There were two young women who made their way towards the Rosalind matriarch, Isabella observed that they must have been around the same age as her daughter Ivy. She also observed that it has been a long time since she has been called Mrs Rosalind, people usually just called by her name, Isabella. Isabella remarked that it must’ve been the dark-haired teenager that called out to her, she was brown skinned, cute with dark eyes paired with thick eyebrows with light dusting of freckles on her face.

The other one had auburn hair, bright green eyes, fair skin with freckles, the mother noticed that there was a scar on her eyebrow and she seemed way less optimistic than the girl she came with.

Isabella smiled at the two young women who made their way towards her porch; Venus barely rose her head to look at the two older girls who greeted her mother, uninterested with the encounter, Venus, continued to read her book, blasé to join the situation.

“Hello,” Isabella greeted the youngsters and she was sure the dark-haired teenager forced the quiet girl to come along with her, “is there anything you guys need?”

“Yes, your children,” the dark-haired child lightly joked as she attempted to lighten the atmosphere and Isabella couldn’t help but force herself to smile at the girl’s poor joke, “Ellie and I want to show your children around the community,” the young lady hopefully expressed, “I guess the other two are in your home?” She cocked her head to the side to check if there were at least anyone in the cabin.

Yet, before Isabella could say anything else, Robin’s cabin door derived open and there came out Ivy with Robin behind her. Ellie and her friend faced the oldest Rosalind siblings with a sense of curiosity. The siblings had a flair of mysterious energy that matched the younger girl who barely acknowledged anyone in the situation, just like Venus, Ivy and Robin scarcely sanctioned Ellie and the dark-haired girl that stood next to her until they heard Isabella cough and interrupt the conversation the two siblings shared.

“Hi, I’m Dina,” the dark-haired girl introduced herself to Ivy, her right hand open for Ivy to shake. There was a hint of interest within Dina’s dark eyes that almost everyone acknowledged the growing tension between the two teenagers remarked.

Ivy gently beckoned her head before she shook Dina’s welcoming hand, “Ivy.”

Ivy was around five foot seven, and Dina couldn’t deny that she almost looked like a complete replica of Isabella. Ivy’s hair was dark and long as it was styled of a wolf-cut, intense brown eyes Dina couldn’t help but commend. She wore black clothes, a long-sleeved tight shirt that was gloved yet revealed her fingers, she was clothed in black trousers and black shoes, her grim and dingy appearance made Ivy appear way more engaging than she wanted to.

When Dina finally let go of Ivy’s hand she turned to gaze at Robin, a fifteen-year-old-boy, who barely looked like Isabella so Dina guessed that he must’ve looked like their father. His hair was messy but curly, some of the curls fell in front of his face but that disorderliness seemed to be a part of his character. He was handsome, and tall, at least had to be the tallest one in the conversation, his eyes were hazel, lashes long, lips full and skin tanned. He wore a grey hoody, with black trousers paired with grey sneakers, his set of clothes complimented his grungy appearance.

“Robin,” he kindly introduced himself, was the first between Dina and him to gesture the handshake which the dark-haired happily agreed to.

Dina looked back at the young girl who buried herself in her book, she didn’t feel insulted that Venus barely engaged with their conversation, she genuinely understood that it wasn’t going to be easy to settle in quickly. They lived in a cruel world and in a world where they have to live in survival mode. “And you must be?”

Isabella nudged Venus with her foot and silently encouraged her daughter to introduce herself, Venus glanced at Dina and felt everyone’s eyes fall on her. Venus looked towards Dina uncomfortable but for the sake of her mother, Venus played along and introduced herself to the young girl she ticked off as inquisitive. “Venus.”

“Like the planet?” A new voice emerged into the discussion but it was from a person that stood there since the beginning, Venus looked briefly towards the owner of the voice, Ellie, who seemed fascinated and engaged with the name choice.

Venus flashed a smile towards the auburn-haired girl before she echoed after her, “like the planet.”

Venus looked like Isabella along with her father she barely remembered. Her hair was long and curly, and if you looked at Venus properly, you’d notice she certainly looked like her brother Robin with Ivy’s imminent stare, her style was quite preppy, as she clothed herself in a white long sleeved buttoned shirt, over-layered with a black jumper. She wore dark grey school-shorts that stopped at the top of her knees, paired with knee-high black socks and white sneakers. Ellie couldn’t help but think that Venus reminded her of a private school kid with her attire.

“Dina, has kindly offered to show you guys around the community,” Isabella mentioned as she leaned against the ledge whilst she watched Ivy and Robin silently agree to Dina’s offer just as Venus submerged herself back into her book, silently denying Dina’s offer as the others loaded themselves to be shown around Jackson by Dina and Ellie.

“Venus, are you coming?” Robin attentively inquired his younger sibling who shook her head in response.

“Go inside,” Isabella compassionately ordered Venus who didn’t think twice before getting up to her feet, she scurried back into the cabin she shared with her mother as Isabella bid the young group a goodbye, she couldn’t help but notice a man watch Ellie from afar on his porch deck. His cabin was opposite Isabella’s but in a diagonal angle, his cabin was bigger compared to other houses she has seen in the Jackson community, Isabella thought he must have been someone important within the society.

Isabella recognised that he watched Ellie in a vigilant and guarding manner, and Isabella couldn’t deny the fact that he was attractive, she considered him a fine man, with a heavy and muscular strong build. His hair was short with a few grey streaks in them, a full and abundant beard that matched the shade of the hair on his head.

Isabella must’ve stared at him for too long, as a result of his eyes looked into hers, the expression in his orbs seemed disgruntled and out of embarrassment Isabella clumsily smiled as she gracelessly waved at him. “Hi,” she clumsily greeted and felt even more awkward when the man didn’t share the inelegant humour she had.

“I’m Isabella,” she stiffly introduced herself whilst she forced herself to smile through the painful moment as he gazed at her, bored, “Isabella Rosalind---it’s nice to meet you---”

“Joel Miller,” he bestowed himself, irritated and remote, he then turned away from her and sipped a substance from a mug he held.

Isabella was not an idiot; she could tell when someone did not want to have a conversation with her. Discouraged, Isabella gently clicked her tongue, she therefore pulled her hands away from the wooden rails her hands were wrapped around and accordingly made her way back into her home. Her amateurish and bulky conversation with Joel disheartened her from meeting up with other citizens of Jackson. Feasibly, she believed today was not the day she should strike conversations with other individuals, as she was still settling in this new community, she believed people would be understanding why it’ll take her quite a while to start putting herself within the society.

Maria, who was the lady who allowed the Rosalind family to take place in their organisation, with how beat up her and her children looked, Maria didn’t force questions down Isabella’s throat and encouraged her to take her time to speak about what must’ve happened prior to their arrival.

Maria also had a husband, who went by Tommy and Isabella couldn’t help but regard the similar features Tommy and Joel shared, Isabella wondered if the two might’ve been related, it would have made sense because of the large house Joel owned.

The cabin Isabella had two floors, plainly, the second floor held the bedrooms, there were at least four in the cabin which Isabella aided that if Ivy or Robin wanted to stay over the night, they were more than welcome to. The matriarch hauled herself up the staircase to spend time in her chamber but a small sniffle stopped Isabella in her path and she altered the route to Venus’ room.

The moment she entered Venus’ room the young girl cowered in anguish and dejection. Isabella scanned Venus and immediately realised that her shoes and high knee socks were off and there exposed on her lower left leg was the two-month-old profound bite mark that seemed to be the cause of Venus’ distress.

“Venus!” Isabella whispered in shock as she hurried towards her, urged her daughter to put back on her socks. “Venus, what if someone was here?” Isabella emotionally cried out whilst she helped her young kin pull the fabric up her legs but Venus didn’t respond but drowned in her silent misery.

Her child’s lack of vocal correspondence caused Isabella to stop what she was doing and pulled Venus into a loving embrace. What her daughter least needed was having her mother nag about covering up the bite mark in a time of expressing her emotional thoughts, “what if I do turn?” the young girl muttered scared for what was to come for her in the future.

With her chin against the crest of Venus’ head, her embrace around the young girl tightened, “it only takes two days for someone to turn into an infected,” Isabella factually stated, understanding of Venus’ fear, “you have been bitten for two months and nothing has happened to you, you’re not going to change into one of them.”

“But what if it’s different for me?”

Isabella shakingly sighed, she wished that this conversation didn’t occur as much as it did, yet, Venus was a thirteen-year-old kid, she would get scared easier, be way more fearful, she had so much of life and the world to explore and the thought of the bite turning her into one of those harmful beings has restricted Venus from being happy and living in the moment.

Isabella remembered the girl Venus once was, and how that incident easily fashioned Venus into becoming isolative and despondent.

“It won’t happen, okay?” Isabella robustly briefed her youngest child as if she attempted to force Venus to believe that the aged bite was not going to transform her. The girl’s silence lingered, her head against her mother’s chest, her eyes swelled from all the tears she liberated; Isabella’s fingers mildly raked through Venus’ curls in the act of lightly shushing her to sleep.

Shortly, Venus’ eyes grew tired and Isabella’s mission of sending her child to sleep was successful. In the midst of the placidity, Isabella did contemplate about a scenario of someone finding out about Venus’ bite mark, would they tell others? Would they attempt to kill her? Withal, Isabella silently promised to herself and Venus that if someone displayed themselves as threat, she would have to handle them, even if the outcome was to execute them. 

liking, commenting and reblogging would be appreciated!

[evgar]

w- women 😳

[s-4pphics]

click!: in frame. 2 (e.w.)

SYNOPSIS: you crave redemption more than love. [idk au]

WORD COUNT: 11.5k

WARNINGS: professionalphotographer!ellie, strugglingartist!oc who’s black, ANGST!!, daddy issues, SA/victim blaming :(, homophobia LOL, anger issues\violence, bad parenting, anxiety, joel standing on bidness, FLUFF!! :3, SMUT… MDNI, ellie bottoms YAAAS, virginity mentions, jealousy😂, dubcon (they’re high), more fingering, brief mentions of cunning lunning, squirting, mult. big Os, err dassit

A/N: YYYYAASSSSSSSS hi… bye 

APRIL, 2014

Happy birthday, babe, you whisper in your girlfriend’s ear, arms wrapped around her neck from behind. Ceniyah’s giggly thank yous fill your ears and heart as you press smacking kisses on her cheek. 

I made you something… You reach behind and grab the rolled-up poster paper sticking out of your backpack, making sure Ceniyah doesn’t turn around. She seems giddy and your heart soars. You hope that all-nighter was worth it. Please, you pray to yourself, please love it. 

Close your eyes and gimme your hand, you say and she listens, palm open in front of your face. You place the scroll in her hand and she gasps. She whips around to face you, shock written all over her, and you giggle. She unrolls the painting and her head instantly falls back, tears jerking behind her glasses. 

Are you seriously crying right now! You pull her tight to your chest and she sobs into your neck, C’mon, baby, stop cryin’! S’okay. You coo and her arms tighten around your waist. 

D-D’you like it? Your face burns when you whisper. 

Are you fucking serious! She squeaks into your neck, It’s beautiful, baby, I love it. T-Thank you—

I love you so much, you mumble, and she says it back. 

You haven’t slept at all. Your body’s going to collapse soon. You hope it’s not during this phone call. 

You ogle at the small card in your hand, pressing the digits into your device before hitting the call button. It rings twice before a bright voice answers. 

“Hello, this is Lisa Meyers speaking. How can I be of service?”

… Interesting intro. “Good morning, um, Professor Meyers?” 

“Yes, how can I help you?” 

“I… we spoke at the coffee shop yesterday. About the… assisting art professors alumni thing.” 

“Oh, of course! How are you, dear?”

“I’m good. Um… I was wondering if you’d have some time to speak with me about it... If that’s cool.”

You can hear her wide smile through the line, “More than cool! Would you be able to come into the office tomorrow?” 

An extra day in the city wouldn’t hurt (it would), “No problem. What time were you thinkin’?” 

“My mornings are always open! How does ten sound?” 

“Sounds like a plan. Uh, thank you,” you say with twitchy fingers. 

“Course, hun! I’ll put you in and I’ll see you tomorrow!” 

You never expected to end up back here. 

The campus art studio looks exactly the same, only now the old portraits, sculptures, ceramics that were lined up on shelves of the display case are all replaced with new, nameless ones. You’re not used to seeing projects that you couldn’t attach a name to in the classroom. Your university years never feel that long ago, but the randomly placed structures are proof of your long-term absence. 

Time is an illusion… Or you’re getting old as fuck and about to be lowered into the ground. Freshmen make you sick(affectionately). 

Professor Meyers explained the position well enough for you to manage on your own. The work you’re doing isn’t difficult: oversee, assist in grading, oversee some more, oversee, and guide. You’re practically getting a check for being the already observant individual that you are. It’s a steal! 

The position only lasts around a month, but Professor Meyers was convinced that it would only take someone as talented as you (her words… although you agree) a week to get on her toes. You vowed to bring your sketchbook every day from here on out, both to yourself and to her, in case you get the inkling of inspiration that you desperately need. 

The job’s a small win. That’s all you could ask for right now. 

Fuck all that shit you said at the start of the week. TAing fucking sucks. And you still haven’t had any inspiration despite all the efforts from the students! Whenever you pick up a utensil, you stab through your paper. You’ve officially lost your touch. You’re a regular bitch with no talent! What the fuck is going on! 

You’ve had numerous breakdowns in bathroom stalls since Monday, and you’re bound to have another one in the next fifteen seconds. Why the fuck did so many students leave their filled water cups on the fucking tables. Guess who has to clean all that shit up! You! Fuck freshman(unaffectionately). 

You’re so happy the halls are empty in between rotations. No one needs to watch you sobbingly wipe down tables splattered with paint. 

After Professor Ronson’s room is tidy, you start prepping the board for the next rotation of students. They’re learning about anatomy today; There’s bound to be at least three students that scribble tiny dicks in the corner of their starter pages. You hate it here. 

You open the drawer to retrieve all the sharpeners, only to find the container completely empty. You’re sick of the animators not putting shit back. You begrudgingly make your way back down the hall and into Professor Lacey’s room… You should’ve never left.

Your lungs constrict with your gasp and you almost drop your keys. 

A just as shocked Ellie gawks back at you, laminated name tag with YEARBOOK dangling from the camera strap around her neck. 

What the fuck.

Ellie’s either hallucinating or dead. Yeah… She has to be dead. The haunting of your email was too much and she died and now she’s seeing shit—

An angel disguised as you is staring back at her, fist clenched under the sleeves of your sweater, brown eyes just as stunned as hers. Ellie barely has time to gather words before the chains hooked onto the pockets of your jeans jingle as you step out of the room and scurry down the hallway. Ellie’s feet are flying before she can even register their movements, hot on your trail as her camera bounces on her chest. 

She manages to get close enough to grab your bicep, ignoring the stuttering in her heart when she sees the former light in your eyes replaced with something darker. The flourishing storm in your pupils is uncontrollable. 

Ellie drops your arm when she realizes you won’t run, “W-What are you doing here?” 

Your gaze is locked onto the tile squares on the ground. “I-I’m, uh… just enjoyin’ the weather— “

Ellie’s brows pull downward, eyes flicking towards the badge wrapped around your neck. Do you work here? “We’re indoors.” She mumbles dryly. 

“Nothin’ like… the spring rain hittin’ the windows, am I right?“ You huff with a nervous smile, eyes flitting around the hallway as you search for an escape. Ellie’s not having that. 

“We needa talk.” 

You sigh, “I can’t. I’m working.” 

“So am I. Take your break,” Ellie grabs your wrist and drags you back down the hallway, leading you to the bathroom and pushing you into a stall, locking the door behind her. 

Her voice is quiet when she presses, “The fuck are you doing here?” 

Ellie expects you to snap, to push the same questioning back onto her, but you don’t. Your mouth gapes like a fish as you stumble over words. Ellie’s eyes soften when she sees a shaky hand come up to pin a loc behind your ear. You’re shaken up and she instantly notices something off. Your demeanor has shifted immensely since she last seen you and it’s making Ellie’s stomach twist with discomfort. She's never seen you this stunted. 

“What.” Ellie asks when you mumble to the floor. 

“I’m sorry about the email,” You sound winded, “I thought… I dunno. I’m sorry about everythin’.” Your lip starts to quiver as you ramble, “I would’ve never come if I knew, I’m sorry— “ 

… What the hell are you talking about? And why are you crying? 

You sniffle and wipe your tears with your sleeves and Ellie’s fingers itch to comfort, to dry your face herself, but she doesn’t. She watches you weep into your palms for what feels like hours, the air of the restroom suffocatingly tight. 

“I didn’t mean to ruin anything you h — had going on, okay? I’m sorry… I’ll leave right now! You’ll never have to see me again— “

Your sobs are stressing her, “G-Gimme your phone.” Ellie blurts. 

You're already digging in your pocket for your device to unlock it, “W-Why— “

Ellie snatched it from your hand, heart pulling when she sees a photo of younger you being carried by a woman shoved in your case. The same face that was littered all over your apartment, “You wanted to talk so bad, right?” Ellie presses her new number into the pad and calls herself, “You have my number. My…” 

When she looks up, her words get swallowed up; Your eyes still manage to glow under the… horrific bathroom lighting, glittering like stars in the late night. She clears her throat to catch herself, “My shift ends at four. Call me any time after that.” 

Ellie hurries to unlock the stall before leaving you in the bathroom, heart in her throat as she heaves all the way down the hallway to the lounge, shaking her hands to get the jitters out. 

She knew she should’ve never accepted a call from the alumnus association. Fuck the yearbook. 

You clock out with a heavy, anxious heart. 

Three students came up to you and asked for advice on their starter shapes. They were a bit upset when their circles didn’t come out perfect, and you almost cried. It was too sweet. Your bag bounces off your back as you descend the staircase to exit the building. The droplets hit your hood with fever as you skip to your car. You jump into the driver’s seat to turn the heat on, teeth chattering from the evening breeze. 

You check the time on your dash and… it’s way past four. You hope Ellie’s willing to meet. You dial the most recent number and tremble as the phone rings. She answers after the second tone. 

“Hello?” 

She sounds so relaxed, and your shoulders unlock, “… Hi. It’s… me?” 

A lengthy pause, “… Me who?” 

You hide a snort, “Um… ex-roomie?” She chuckles lightly. “Hi.”

“… Hi.” You whisper, “Did you, um… still wanna talk to me?” You think you hear the click of a lighter. 

“Mhm. I’ll send you where I stay at.” 

“Okay… I’ll see you soon?” 

“Yup.” And with that, the line goes dead. Ellie’s location delivers not even a minute later. Her hotel isn’t far from here. . . and fuck, it looks like wealth. Your nerves are nowhere near settled after your last attempt at reconciliation, and paranoia is itching beneath your skin. 

You open your GPS and blast your screamo playlist, hollering your way down the street with your windows down, rain be damned. 

You’re burning holes through Ellie’s hotel room door. 

You haven’t knocked, you haven’t rang. . . you're not even sure if your text of arrival went through. You just stare at the peephole with a clenched jaw. This big bag of Cool Ranch Doritos is doing an excellent job as a stress ball. It’s bound to pop from your grip soon.

Your bladder almost lets loose when the door gets pulled open, nostrils instantly hit with wafts of that forbidden flower. You’re pulled through the small crack by a strong grip before the door is shut and locked behind you. 

Ellie faces you, bare arms on display, and leans back against the door… in those fucking grey sweats. After all this time, they still cause damage to your soul, “Sorry. I don’t wanna get kicked out.” 

“It’s… you’re good.” You point behind her, trying not to gawk at her tattoo, “How’d you know— “

“You breathe loud.” She says simply, tone hushed and raspy. She nods behind you, “Sit down.” 

She follows you to the lounge chairs that face each other. You sit, still tense, suddenly back in therapy, “I-I brought you somethin’.” You push the crumpled bag of chips towards her as she relights her joint. 

Her pink, doe-eyes flit between yours and the bag before she mumbles, “Thank you.” 

“No problem…” You awkwardly set them on the windowsill, swallowing your guilt and deciding to take initiative, “I… I know you have a lot of things going on and I don’t wanna take up too much of your time… I’m just…” 

The loud splattering of raindrops is nerve-wracking, “I wasn’t… I didn’t treat you well. College was a very hard time for me and I didn’t really know how to deal with it without being a bitch—” 

Carbon leaves her nose, “Is that your excuse?”

“N-No, no! I’m not… I’m not tryna avoid blame. I was terrible and you — no one deserved what I put them through… I-I’m really sorry, Ellie… From the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry.”

Ellie’s silent. You have no idea what she’s thinking; She could be plotting to get you kicked out of her room right now and you wouldn’t know. Her stare isn’t angry, it isn’t anything… she just watches you. Every squeeze of your hands, bounce of your knee, every tic photographed in her memory. Just like before. 

“Why're you back on campus?” 

You exhale the breath you’d been holding, “Um… I gotta, like, TA job, I guess. With the art profs.”  

“Still doing art, then, I guess.”

You stare down at your lap, “Yeah. Trying to.” You croak. 

“Trying?” She asks, brows furrowed. Your shoulders bounce in a shrug. “I, err, hadn’t made anything in a while so… yeah. I thought it’d get me back into it.” 

“Are you?” 

“Hm?”

“Are you back into it?” 

“I don’t know yet.” 

“Why were you so upset when I moved out?” Ellie’s tone shifts into something much more delicate, ready to crack and bleed open at any given moment. You can’t tell her, your brain bellows over the pleads from your heart. You can’t tell her how much you missed her!

Your jaw slacks dumbly as you search for a believable explanation, mind blanking under her scrutinizing stare. 

“I was drunk. I-I don’t remember…” 

“You were drunk and don’t remember.” You cringe at her tone. 

“Ellie… I don’t wanna— “

“Don’t wanna what? Actually be fucking honest?” Your babbles are silenced as she rants. “You reached out to me and you can’t even answer one question honestly. Why’d you even come?” She seems so disappointed in your response, but what can you do? Tell her how every part of your body yearns to be next to her? How you almost collapse when you saw her for the first time in what felt like an eternity? How manipulative would that be after everything you’ve done?

Ellie’s index finger jumps on the armrest as silence takes over once more. She’s deep in thought, it seems, teeth nipping at the skin of her lip. 

“Ellie— “

“When I moved out…” She repeats sternly, “you told me you didn’t want me to go. Why did you say that?” 

It’s on the tip of your tongue: because I’m weak and I like you! I’m sorry I didn’t fight! I’m sorry, I'm sorry, I’m sorry! 

“B-Because I didn’t want you to go…” You whisper between sniffles, wiping your nose with your sleeve. 

“Why's that?” 

“I… really liked having you around…” You chose your words very carefully, but they’re not a lie. “You’re… you’re really nice.” 

That seems to satisfy her a little, “I’m really nice?” Ellie’s brow quirks, a tiny smile blossoming on her face. 

“And funny.” You sob, “Like, I laughed a lot.” 

“You’re funny, too,” Ellie says awkwardly while scratching her ear. Your heart pulses. 

Her eyes search yours, “I didn’t know how I would react when you got here. The thought of seeing you really… fucking freaked me out.” She scoffs to herself, and your shoulders begin to droop. “But… um...” She pauses and your pulse pounds in your neck. Tears brim in your ducts. This is when she tells you to leave. To fuck off. To drop dead, for fucks sake—

“I’m glad you reached out.” 

You gawk in disbelief before your bottom lip trembles, “Really?” You ask meekly. She simply nods. 

“Me, too.” You’re really trying not to cry right now, but the softness in her gaze isn’t helping. She’s too sweet. You change the topic before you say something you’ll regret. You point to the bag of chips, “I really hope you like that flavor. I just grabbed it because I was overthinking.” 

“I don’t know why you bought those. I still owe you a bag from what I remember,” She grabs them, squeezing the end until the other side pops open. She grabs four ships and crunches them all at once before extending the bag to you. You follow her lead and munch to your heart's content. 

“I was never mad at you, y’know.” Ellie sets the bag down and reignites her roach. “I wasn’t, uh, innocent, either. We both fucked up,” She puffs and hands it to you. You've never smoked bud before, only stole a couple of Abby’s edibles a while back. She vowed never to smoke with you since you’re a tweaker. 

You accept the charred-to-hell baby jay and stare at it. You shrug, “Wasn’t worse than me. How do I do this without burning my finger off?” 

“Err… just breathe in and hold it.” She instructs. “Have you never gotten high?” 

“I have. I don't— “

“Oh, yeaaah. Non-smoker. Sorry.” 

“It’s fine,” you mumble before bringing the remnants up to your lips and sucking in. Nothing happens. Ellie snickers, “Not like that. It’s not a fucking lollipop. Just, like, fill your cheeks up and hold it.” 

… Are you an idiot? “I don’t know what that means.” Ellie cackles like a witch at your lost expression, nearly falling over in her chair. Your cheeks burn and you try again, cheeks expanding to fill in the smoke. The second you inhale, you start choking, eyes bulging out of your skull from the burn in your chest. 

Ellie finds your near-death experience fucking hysterical as she hollers from her seat. Tears stream down your face and the veins in your neck are bulging as you gasp for air. You’re never doing this shit again. Your lungs finally decide to spare you when Ellie passes you water from her dresser. You gulp that shit down like no tomorrow as Ellie’s giggles dwindle. 

“What the,” cough, “fuck— “

“Fucking baby lungs,” Ellie mumbles with a grin. “You’ll be fine after a couple tries.” 

You chug more water, “Girl… fuck you.” You gasp. Ellie’s grin turns cocky when her head tilts. 

“Fuck me?” Her voice lowers and goosebumps rise on your skin. Your heart stops in your chest and your gaze falls to the floor as your tummy swirls in delight, cheeks fiery. You stand and Ellie sits up at your sudden alertness. 

“Um… Like I said, thank you for taking the time to talk to me today. I really appreciate it.” Ellie stands to grab your arm when your feet slowly start backing towards the door. 

Her smile drops, “I-I’m sorry. I was just kidding—” 

“No, it’s fine! It’s not you! I just, uh… y’know what I mean?” 

“… No.” She mumbles, “You don’t… have to go yet. You just got here.” She chuckles weakly. 

“I just… don’t wanna… pry.” You whisper like it’s shameful. Ellie’s head shakes in denial, “You’re not! I’m… inviting you.” 

Your eyes beg her to understand where you’re coming from. It’s not like you don’t want to, but the two of you just got back cool three seconds ago. The last thing you want to do is force yourself back into her life. Your relationship needs time to marinate and heal before anything else happens… if she allows it. 

“I… I still miss Pickle?” You suggest with bright eyes, and Ellie’s soften despite her confusion. “Would it be okay if I see her?” You ask quietly. 

Her mouth turns upwards, “How long are you in town?” 

“I don’t know… These hotel bills are runnin’ my credit in the fucking mud.” You sigh. 

“She’s with my dad right now. Come this weekend. I’m outta here on Friday, anyways.” She suggests, cheeks glowing in the dimming room. You hope Ellie doesn’t notice your dejection at the mention of her father… It still stings. Her eyes are so hopeful, meadows flurrying with excitement… and you can’t say no. 

“…Okay.” 

“Yeah?” She confirms, smile widening. You nod. “She misses you like crazy.” Ellie notes and tears get to cooking. You think about Pickle every day. Little munchkin. 

“I miss her, too.” You sniffle. The hand that rests on your bicep slowly slides down your sleeve, closing around your wrist. Not strong, but her hold is steady. Ellie whispers your name. 

“Hm?” 

“I’m glad we’re… okay.” Your heart soars with adoration. Her eyes explore your face in admiration, and your body glows. 

“Me, too. Thank you.” Ellie’s gentle gaze drops to your lips and you stiffen. Your hands clench when she moves an inch closer. It kills you to move away, and an inkling of hurt overcasts in her forest. She lets you go and backs away, “Sorry— “

Your head shakes desperately, “S’okay, I just think we should… move… slower?” You never fail to sound like an alien who just arrived on Earth, but Ellie seems to get it. 

“Yeah, I… yeah.” Ellie stares at her sock-covered feet, red dusting her cheeks. You try to hide a smile while she walks you towards her door. She opens it for you, propping up against it. 

“See you Friday?” You throw over your shoulder and Ellie grins. “See you Friday.” She parrots. You can’t stop cheesing even after she closes the door. You make your way back into your driver’s seat, heart bleeding with relief. 

MAY, 2014

Her record is clean! I would’ve never expected this from such a great kid, your professor says to your father, But violence, especially to this extreme, is completely unacceptable—

What about what he did to me! You shout, and your father glares at your tone, He put his hands on me first! H-He—

Your body shudders in disgust at the recall of your classmate touching you the way he did. You were on your way to class when hands enclosed around your chest in a tight squeeze, all oxygen leaving your body. It was abrasive and made your skin crawl, and you swung. Your arms moved on their own until you were on top of him, his nose gushing blood while his friends attempted to pry you off. 

There was laughter when he groped you. So many people — students that you see every day — all watched it, and no one came to your defense. 

Your principal sighs with his palms up, I’m just trying to get to the bottom of what happened—

No, you’re not! I already told you what happened and you’re tryna make it seem like I’m lying! You stand and grab your bag off the floor, stomping towards the door to the office, Y’all can choke—

Your dad calls out for you, and your fingers twitch at his tone, but you keep walking, pushing past the double-doors of the school and towards the bike rack. Tears flood your eyes when the double doors slam shut, your father berating you about making a scene in public. You unlock your ride, blocking out his rampage that draws the security guard’s attention. 

He put his hands on me, dad! You shriek as loud as you can between your cries, He put his hands on me! Why’re you yellin’ at me?

I’m not yelling at you! I’m yelling in general! You scoff and swing your leg over your bike, strapping your helmet on, I’m tryna understand what happened! You broke his goddamn nose! They’re boutta suspend you! 

Imma be at Maya’s, you say, monotone. I’ll see you later. 

Amaya isn’t even home. Your dad’s hollering his lungs out as you ride down the sidewalk, but you block it all out until the wind fills your ears like a monsoon. You’re not sure where you’re going, but it’s somewhere. 

Hopefully somewhere you can cry to yourself without disturbance. 

-

-

-

It’s your first day back at school since being suspended. Fuck everybody… except Amaya and Ceniyah. You probably would’ve switched schools if it wasn’t for them. You can’t wait to see them during lunch and tell them how fucked up it’s been staying at home. 

Today has been weird as fuck, to say the least. Friends that you’ve grown used to talking to in the hallways have either disappeared or ignored you. It’s quiet around you, now, and you’re on edge. What the fuck is going on?

Walking into the cafeteria is frightening. It’s always loud, rowdy, hectic, but the minute you step foot inside, everything seems to stop. You grip your tray so tight; you think it’s about to snap, frantically searching for your girlfriend. 

But your two favorite people are nowhere to be seen. You wander and come up empty-handed. Where the fuck are they—

Your thoughts are cut when a shoulder shoves right into yours. You throw your tray onto the nearest table. Laughter surrounds you before a snarky voice shriek in your ears.

Watch where the fuck you’re going, 

No, you watch where the fuck you’re going. Dumb ass bitch, You spit. You're about to get suspended for knocking this broad out. Who even is this? 

Coming from the slut who cheated on her girlfriend! Are you sure you’re a lesbian? Or are you going back to dick? 

The entire room seems to collapse from top to bottom, crushing you beneath clutter in attempts to suffocate. You freeze when everyone turns to stare at the scene, some standing to surround you, hoping to see a fight. You release a shuddering breath as your fist clench. 

… Cheated on your girlfriend? You love your girlfriend. You’re in love with your girlfriend, and she’s in love with you! What the fuck is this bitch talking about. 

I think she’s going back to dick! One of them laughs, and the rest follow, and the entire room glows red. 

Your knuckles are drenched in the color when your dad comes to pick you up. 

PRESENT

Maybe being a TA is helping. You’ve finally pulled your sketchbook out of your work bag. 

The point of your fine liner hovers over a blank page of your sketchbook. You can’t stop thinking about Ellie, and you don’t have many distractions. 

It’s been so long since you’ve created anything, and frankly, your ass is clenched with anxiety. Never in your life would you think that creating art would wrack your nerves in such a way, but your insecurities are working hard. Probably the hardest they ever have. Once upon a time, your sketchbook was your safe haven, and now the feeling of blank pages feels like needles. 

What if you’ve… lost your talent? You can see everything you want to make clearly in your head but your pen isn’t moving. The attempts at reigniting your passion would be pointless if you can no longer fucking draw. Your fingers are itching. 

Maybe you should try that corny shit from the movies where they close their eyes and move their utensils on pure muscle memory… Maybe you should do fucking shrooms! Visuals always peak on psyches, according to the experts. At this point, why the fuck not— 

“Son of a fucking — this is fucking stupid, bitch, jus’ fuckin’ draw,” you mutter to yourself in agitation. Just fucking draw! You do this! You do this, you do this!

Minutes pass and your paper is mussed with smudged, small ink marks from constantly moving your pen around, trying to find the right angle. Another piece of paper gone to waste. You fucking suck. You slam your pen down on the table. 

You stand and start to pace, “Positive affirmations only,” You remind yourself aloud, “You got this shit, like, what the fuck. Everything’s gonna come back to you. You’re in a funk and tha’sit. It’ll pass, it’ll pass— “

Whoever your hotel neighbor is… Praying for their sleep schedule. 

It’s going to be a long night. 

“Hello?”

“Hi, kiddo. Sorry I missed your call. Your pet knocked out on my hand.” 

Ellie giggles, “It’s cool. How ya been?”

“Fine… She’s a rascal, ain’t she? I found her head first in one of my flower pots. Her tiny legs were wiggling tryna get herself out,” His chuckles are like warm hugs, “How’s work?”

Ellie’s cackles calm, “Also fine… Err…Um… speaking of Pickle…” 

Her dad hums, and Ellie sighs, “Remember when I told you about how I found her?” 

“Yeah… You and that girl found the poor thing freezing to death outside… Why?”

“… Would you believe me if I said we somehow reunited by the grace of God and she’s coming back with me tomorrow?” Ellie squeaks, and her confidence drops when he exhales. It sounds heavy. 

“Um… for what?” 

“To see Pickle…”

“…Alright.”

“What’re you thinkin’,” She nips at her nails. 

“Nothin’…” 

“Dad…” 

“I dunno what you want me to say, darlin’… Everything you’ve told me about her so far wasn’t… great to hear.” 

Ellie rolls onto her back, “Yeah… I dunno. Something’s different about her now.” 

“How so?” 

She can’t tell him how badly your shielded eyes have taken a toll on her. How desperately she wants them to revert to the shining rivers they used to be. How badly her chest ached when you left her room last night, “I dunno. It just is…” She mutters weakly. Another heavy sigh. 

“I mean… You’re an adult. I can’t tell you what to do anymore.” 

“Don’t be like that, please.” 

“Not being like anything. I can only accept.” 

Ellie’s hand drags down her face in exasperation. The rants she relinquished onto her dad about you are making her nauseas. 

“Just… be nice to her, please.” He hums begrudgingly. 

“Dad, I’m serious. I feel like we… could be friends.” 

“Friends… Alright.” He sounds skeptical, but he isn’t combative. She hopes he’ll keep it together when he sees you, “How should I plan for this friend when she gets here?”

Ellie smiles sadly, “Make eggplant parmesan…”

Her dad snorts, “… Since when do you like eggplant?” 

Ellie grins, “I don’t.” 

Why can’t black roses be real? 

Ellie doesn’t seem like a flower girl, but she has a gigantic leaf imprinted on her arm for the rest of her life; She must appreciate the autotroph kingdom. Your mother always told you how fucked it is to enter people’s homes empty handed. Walmart usually pulls through with the awkward housewarming gifts, but they’re slacking in their garden selection today. Fuck your life. 

You’re forced to settle on peonies… They’re pretty and all, but you’d prefer alliums for her. Maybe even a carnation. Plus, Amaya always told you to never buy flowers that sound like penis. 

Amaya… Are you really about to break down in the frozen food section? Maybe. It’s time to go. You're shocked to find out you have more than ten dollars on your card. Fuck hotels, from the depths of your soul. 

You set your purchase in the passenger’s side and pull up Ellie’s pinged location. She left way earlier than you. You would’ve carpooled, but you couldn’t miss these hours for this paycheck. How are you a struggling student and not even in school? 

The drive is going to be long. 

At least you have time to scream out your frustrations. 

“Hey, Siri.” 

… UH HUH?

“Play This Cold Black by Slipknot.” 

PLAYING THIS COLD BLACK BY SLIPKNOT. 

Your head thrashes as you back out of your parking spot. 

“WELCOME HOOO— “

The ride wasn’t long enough, actually. Ellie’s dad’s house is right there. Like… right fucking there, and your voice is almost gone. Clouds are beginning to roll in over the neighborhood. The universe is fucking with you. Great. 

You dump the last bits of water into the thirty-dollar, peony-stuffed vase before exiting your car, backpack strapped over your shoulder. You climb the brick staircase with a pounding heart. 

“Okay,” You croak, “Hi. Nice to meet you, Mr. Miller. I heard my — our cat was with you—“ You rehearse and cringe. Why are you pressing him about a cat in his domain? 

“Fuck, okay, wait,” You try again, “Hi, Mr. Miller, I’m Ellie’s, uh, friend. We were roommates some time ago— “ 

Some time ago? Who the fuck are you? Shakespeare? Emily fucking Brontë? Get a fucking grip. 

You almost drop the fucking vase when the door opens. Your coughs are uncontrollable when you see Ellie, eyes flicking between you and the ring light camera. Why the fuck does she look so good? Cartier watch, black button up and slacks, hair… neat. She’s about to trigger your asthma! 

“Uh… you okay?” She questions flatly. You’re still choking on your own esophagus, but you send her two thumbs up anyway. You’re great! Terrific! Immediately scared shitless when a… big ass man holding a black furball creeps up behind her. He’s not as dolled-up as Ellie and it makes you less insecure. Why the fuck do you have this hoodie on? You should’ve at least worn some trousers! 

“Nice to meet you.” His voice sounds like grovel. Gravel? You can’t fucking think right now! He adjusts Pickle in his grasp so he can extend a polite hand out to you, “I’m Joel. I’m Ellie’s father,” He sounds courteous, but there’s something simmering beneath his pupils as he stares at you. 

His grip is strong when you accept it. You’re going to vomit, “I-I’m — I mean, hi, I’m, uh… Me’n Ellie used to live together—“ You sound like a frog who just learned how to speak. 

“I’ve been told.” He hums.

Meow!

You almost start bawling at your baby’s cry. She's so big now and her coat is so shiny! She’s eating well. Ellie accepts the flowers with dusted cheeks before stepping aside and allowing you entry. You’re instantly hit with the smell of garlic… Can the whole bloodline throw down in the kitchen? 

“Nice home!” You crack and cringe. You cringe so fucking hard. They both say thanks in unison, but her father’s is gruff while Ellie’s is delicate like petals. She can’t stop staring down at the flowers. Joel finally sets Pickle down so he can head back into the kitchen, and she follows him without hesitation. 

She doesn’t remember you. Your heart shatters. 

“Thank you for the flowers,” You hear Ellie say from beside you. You swallow the lump forming in your throat with a smile. “No problem… You look, um, great.” And you smell like heaven. Like clouds before the rain. 

Her face gets redder and she grins behind petals, “Thank you. I got called in today. For… editing and whatnot.”  

You snicker, “Whatnot?” 

“Shut up. C’mon.” You follow her into the kitchen where she sets the vase in the middle of the dining table before waddling towards her dad, who stands over the stove. You stand back and watch as she playfully punches his upper arm while he stirs the simmering pot, cracking jokes amongst themselves while Pickle paws at Ellie’s calf. Your doting smile vanishes at their laughter; What a little happy family. Are you breathing? 

You turn to face the living room and breathe in as deep as you can, eyes glued to their maroon couch. You crack your knuckles and release the wind in your lungs before repeating. 

“You’re okay, it’s okay. You knew what it was before you came,” you whisper to yourself. Ellie mentioned how close her and her dad were way before you got here, so why is the pain in your chest so sharp? 

A hand comes down on your shoulder and you jump, “Sor — fuck, sorry — “

“Are you okay?” Ellie asks, concerned. 

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine! Jus’ looking around,” You laugh shakily and note the large paper crane on the TV stand. You point at it, “That’s so cool! Did you make that? I love origami.” 

“No, my dad did— “

Fuck, “Oh— “

“Yeah, um— “

“D-Do you have a restroom?” 

She observes with worry, “… Yeah, right down that hall, to the left— “

“Thank you, BRB,” You’re practically running to the fucking bathroom. The door closes and locks and you pace. They have a nice shower curtain: black and white stripes. You count them all from top to bottom. 

“Your dad’s dead, fucking relax, it’s been like that, it’s been like that,” You exhale shakily, tremors building in your hands, “You’re fine, you’re fine, calm the fuck down.” You unzip your hoodie and ball it up before shoving your face in it. Your screams into it are muffled. 

You come up for air and stare into the mirror, “You’re fucking fine. The food smells good as fuck and you’re gonna eat and you’re fine.” You open the door and… kitty’s staring at you. She’s sitting pretty and inspecting your disheveled appearance. 

“Hi, baby. Remember me?” You squat and stick your hand out to her. She sniffs curiously before nipping at your pinky. “Ow,” you coo with a smile. 

“She remembers you.” 

Ellie’s leaning against the wall with her arms folded over her chest. You need her to stomp the fuck out of you with affection; She looks so fucking good, fuck—

“I hope,” you squeak and cough. It scares the shit out of Pickle and she runs. 

Ellie’s gaze lingers on your bare arms. “Can we talk for a sec?”

“Yup.” Sound casual, you think. You sprinkle a shrug in there. She nods before heading down the hall and entering the last door. You can’t hide your shocked expression at the scenery. 

Every inch of the room is covered in posters, most of them about galaxies and all their intricacies. There’s a red racecar bed covered in Regular Show sheets and pillowcases and a bunch of stuffed animals, dresser covered with discarded sticker papers and seemingly empty polaroid cameras. There are fairy lights dangling from the ceiling before coming down and around the bed frame, across the closet, and finally slung over her dresser. There’s little action figures and trinkets everywhere. 

The door closes behind you, “… Is this your room?” 

Ellie snorts, “It was. Not anymore.” 

You laugh, “I’m fuckin’ with it. That bed is crazy, though.” Ellie joins in, scratching at her ear. She takes a few steps until she’s in front of you, still at a distance. Thank God; Any closer and your celibacy goes down the drain. 

“Sorry I only brought flowers. I would’ve brought fucking… cake or something if I knew y’all were gonna cook.” Ellie waves you off. 

“The flowers were pretty. Thank you.” 

Your entire face is on fire, “Y’know what I mean…” You cough. 

“Um… I just wanted to talk to you about something. About my dad.” 

There’s a hole in your chest that’s expanding. She takes your silence as attentive, “He can be really overprotective… like, he’s kinda stubborn.”

“Oh… I see where you get it from,” You laugh weakly, clearing your throat when Ellie doesn’t. “Sorry.” You mumble. Ellie looks down at her feet, “Does he not… like me?” You ask quietly, embarrassed out of your fucking mind. 

“It’s not that, he’s just… I told him a little of what happened between us. Not everything, just some of it!” 

“The… bad part, I’m assuming?” Her silence is enough confirmation. 

Ellie looks like Pickle when she’s guilty. You remember when she hopped onto the counter and knocked over your water cup, eyes large and pleading for forgiveness over the mess she caused. 

“M’not mad,” You mumble, “I probably would’ve done the same thing.” Probably is used very strongly. 

“I’m sorr— “

“It’s okay— “

A knock comes from the other side of the door. 

“Come eat, you two!” 

“Coming!” Ellie yells back before rubbing her hands together. “I’m really— “ 

“Ellie, it’s fine,” You reassure her with a light slap on her bicep… It’s quite hard. “C’mon, uh… I’m hungry?” You brush past her and head towards the door, holding it open for her. “After you?”

Ellie reminds you of a strawberry milk squishmallow when she eases past you, trying to hide her smile and pink cheeks. Your cheeks puff as you release the air in your lungs, shutting her door behind you. 

This is the best eggplant parmesan you’ve ever tasted in your goddamn life. Too bad you can’t enjoy it due to Ellie’s hardcore mobster dad sending you deadly glares from across the table. He hasn’t said a word this entire meal, and you’re not anticipating the minute he does. He’s going to blow a gasket. 

“D’you like it?” Ellie says lowly from beside you. You nod your head with two thumbs up. You can’t hide your smile when you notice all the gooey cheese and noodles eaten off the pieces of eggplant. 

“It’s delicious. Thanks Mr. Miller.” 

“Don’t mention it.” He sounds like he means it. Your heart drops and Ellie scowls at him. Your fingers clench around your fork and you scarf down what you can. It’s so good and you’re so scared and you want this meal to be over. 

You're the last to clean your plate so you stand in a rush, gathering all of the plates and spoons off the table before scurrying to the sink. 

Ellie pads close behind you, “Oh, you don’t have to— “

You cut Ellie off with a nervous laugh, “The least I could do.” The dishes clatter and you grab a sudsy sponge. You waste no time, scrubbing the living hell out of these dishes. 

“Go sit down, Ellie.” 

The hairs on the back of your neck stand at his stern tone, “Wha— “

He slices through her refute, and still manages to sound calm, “Go.” 

You continue to scrub, sighing at Ellie's descending stomps. Joel creeps into the open space in front of the sink, grabbing a dish and another sponge. 

“Ellie told me you’re an artist.” He mutters over the running water.

“Yeah. Sorta.” You reply as calmly as you can. 

“What are your intentions with my daughter?” He gets right to it, it seems. You scrub harder. 

“Just… tryna make things right between us.” 

“Why's that?” 

Word vomit. You can’t help yourself. You’re so fucking nervous. “I-I fuc — sorry — I screwed over someone that was… really great. Your daughter’s a sweetheart and I feel awful with how things left off.” You stumble with a heated face. You catch the arch in his eyebrow and back pedal, “Not like we were — we weren’t dating or anything! Like, not like that! We just — “

“I was a student once upon a time. I know how these things go.” He snickers humorlessly. Your shoulders relax a smidge before he asks, “Why now?” 

“Hm?” 

“Why’d you wait so long to talk to her? The two of you graduated forever ago.” His tone is much calmer than it was seconds ago, but anxiety surges in your gut at his questioning. 

“I didn’t wanna reach out without being in the right headspace. I had… a lot going on and I had to handle it. Therapy’s hard as fu — heck,” You sigh, “I still don’t think I’m doin’ a good job, but… I dunno, it earned me a Michelin star eggplant parm. Must be doing something right.” 

You don’t expect Joel to laugh, but he does. It’s hearty and deep. Very dad-esque. Your heart crushes to dust all over again. 

“Look, kid,” Joel sets the clean plate in the rack before grabbing another, “I wasn’t gonna say much, but Ellie seems to like you… a lot. More than most people.” Your heart flurries back into shape at his observation. You want to ask what a lot means exactly, but he continues. 

“She’s… she gets very attached to people. I know it’s hard to believe but she’s very… sensitive,” His voice is low, but he’s not bullshitting in the slightest. The protective aura has returned and it’s radiating back onto you, pushing you back. Keeping you at a distance from him. From Ellie, “I’m never gonna shit on anyone’s journey, but frankly… if you’re not here to stay, I’d suggest leaving her alone now.”

This is definitely a threat. But you don’t feel threatened. You feel… sad. Joel is doing what any great dad would when faced with an outsider: armoring his cubs by any means. Something you’ve never experienced. If meeting Joel has shown you anything, it’s been what you’ve missed out on your entire life. Little does he know the last thing you want to do is separate from Ellie a second time. Another breakdown is bound to crash into you very soon. You forgot where the bathroom was. 

You’re not going anywhere. Your heart won’t allow it. “I’m— “

You’re interrupted by a loud rumble, instantly followed by the heavy droplets of pouring rain. It sounds like pebbles are being thrown at all windows of their home; Is it hailing? 

“Holy shit,” Ellie calls from the living room window, “Was it supposed to storm tonight?” 

“Yeah, it was on the news,” Joel confirms. Ellie rushes over and points her eyes to you. 

“You’re not driving in that.” She breathes out. Your heart fist pumps, but you maintain nonchalance. 

You shrug awkwardly, “I don’t wanna pry— “ 

“Nah, she’s right. We have a guest room.” Joel sighs, “Ellie, show her where it is. I’ll finish up in here.” 

Ellie’s hand closes around your wrist before guiding you down the hall. The bathroom’s right across from the guest room. On the left side, you note. 

“Fuck a guest room. You’re staying with me.” She mumbles and opens the cupboard. She grabs you some sleep shorts and presumably her father’s sweatshirts. You try to convince yourself that the strong pounds in your chest are from fear of the storm, and not at all from a lesbian slumber party. 

… Fuck. 

The storm is roaring outside. And Ellie’s chiefing in neon astronaut jammies. This feels like a fever dream. 

“They glow in the dark.” Ellie hums around a cloud of smoke from where she sits across from you on the bed. You pause your gawking, “Huh?”

“My pjs glow in the dark. Wanna see?” Her eyes sparkle and your heart sprouts legs and sprints around in your ribcage. 

“Fuck yeah.” You gasp. Ellie’s teeth shine before she puts her joint between her lips and leans across her bed to shut her lamp off. Every fiber of your being tries to not lock onto the smidge of skin that appears from under her sweatshirt when she stretches. The room goes dark around the neon pink and green outlines of the design. You choke out a laugh at the pigmentation; How the fuck are they so bright!

“Sorry if this is boring. I’ve never had a sleepover before.” 

“Shut up, that’s cool as fuck! You gotta battery pack in there or somethin’?” Ellie giggles out a no. A smile stretches wide across your face when you look up at her, hers just as bright. “Are you sleepy?” You ask. 

“Not at all,” she hums as she switches the lamp back on. 

“We could play a gaaame,” You suggest sing-songy. 

“Oh, fuck. Like what.” Ellie huffs a laugh. 

“Truth or dare is a sleepover classic— “

“I’m not licking a toilet seat.” Ellie states flatly. Laughter explodes from you at her face. “I’m not a crazy dare-er like that. The most you’ll have to do is prank call an ex or some shit.” 

“I don’t have an ex.” 

“Oh… Well, a family member.” Ellie nods in acceptance. “Can I ask first?” She asks. 

“Mhm. Lay it on me.” 

“Truth or dare?” 

“Dare.” 

“Show me what’s in your backpack.” 

“…Fuck.” You sigh, and Ellie cackles. “Were you planning this shit?” You ask and stand, walking over to the dresser where your bag sits. You grab it and hand it to her. She wastes no time, stubbing her joint out before rummaging through your shit, sifting through loose-leaf paper and markers used for coloring. You plop down onto her bed and she pulls out your sketchbook. 

“Is it okay if I look?” 

“I dunno,” You smirk, “Can I finally see your fucking portfolio?” 

“Come home with me tomorrow,” she says instantaneously, “It’s there. You can see it.” 

“… Then yes.” 

She flips through pages and pages of visuals you’ve created before your father’s passing. They range from sloppily scribbled orchids, to immaculately shaded depictions of eggplant farms. Ellie giggles when she finds a small comic of Pickle playing with her favorite mouse toy. 

“She still has it.”

“Good,” you whisper. You watch as she studies each page to her heart’s content, fingers dragging across lines that catch her attention. “You’re so good,” she says softly, awestruck and eyes sincere. Your gaze drops to your lap. 

“Thanks,” you match her volume. She hums and flips to the next page. You eye the ashtray on her bed before snagging it, snatching her lighter and igniting the joint. Ellie eyes you like a hawk. 

“I watched a tutorial on how to become a professional pothead… I think I got it down.” 

“Show me.” She whispers and your stomach jolts.

Smoke leaves the lit end of the J and you flick the lighter off. You bring it to your lips and puff your cheeks full of smoke, inhaling as deep as you can before your lungs squeeze. You cough and heave tearfully and Ellie leans in to rub your back. 

“That was better.” She says softly. “I was gonna dare you to hit it anyway.” Your coughing fits calm and you swallow. 

“Shit,” You say. Ellie takes the joint from you and hits it like a fucking pro. She's much closer than she was seconds ago. You examine how her lips curl around the roach, cheeks expanding around carbon before inhaling, allowing the remainder to leave in a bunch of circles. 

“You really blowing O’s right now?” You think you hit it right this time. The jitters you’ve had all day are beginning to dwindle. 

She smiles mischievously, “Mhm.” 

“Truth or dare?” You mumble.

“… Truth.” 

“Did you think about me… after you left?” If you were to lean forward an inch, Ellie’s nose would touch yours. Nose hug. Her face spots are so adorable. 

“Yeah. A lot.” She passes the J back to you and you accept it boldly. You’re releasing your stress with every exhale. Ellie was right; Smoking does feel good. 

“What’d you think about?” 

“Isn’t it my turn?” 

“No.” You smile. 

She shrugs, “I dunno. Just…” Her gaze falls onto her stuffed tabby cat. 

“I feel like you’re boutta say something nasty.” You snicker. 

“Wha — no! The fuck— “

You mock her, rubbing all over yourself, “I thought about your hands, ooo, aaa— “

Ellie smacks your arm a bunch of times before pushing you back onto the bed. You’re howling laughter over her whining, “Bitch, that’s you! Don’t think I forgot about that shit you pulled in the car!”

“You have nice hands! What can I say,” You slur with a dumb grin, “You have, like… classic lesbian hands. All you need is some Hot Topic rings and all the hoes gon’ flock to you.” You take one last toke before the lit end can reach your fingers, stubbing it on the ashtray. 

Ellie seemingly ponders with the theory, “… Is that why a milf ate me out at the club?” 

Your neck almost snaps when it cranes to look at her, “What the fuc— “

“Yeah. Craziest experience I ever had. Like, in my life.” 

“Fuck, Ellie…” Your head flops back onto her Lightning McQueen blankets. “Was it good?” 

“I… I guess. I came.” 

You stare at the star stickers on her ceiling. “You guess?” She only hums. 

“But…”

“Hm?” You urge her to continue. 

“She didn’t… kiss me.” She whispers like it’s dirty to say out loud. You slowly blink at the opaque walls. “I mean, she did, but it wasn’t a real one.” 

“Shame on her.” 

Ellie maneuvers so she’s lying on her back beside you. “Yeah…” 

“Ellie?” 

“Hm?”

“Were you a virgin before I touched you?” 

You expect her to slap the shit out of you again, but she doesn’t. She takes one deep breath before muttering, “Yes.” 

You stop yourself from melting into her bed, turning on your side and propping yourself up on an elbow, gazing down at her. Her eyes are wide as saucers as she looks up at you. You can see her fingers twitching around her pillow, squeezing the fabric of the case. Right on Rigby’s nose. 

“A-Are we still playing truth or dare?” She whispers, her breath hitting your face. She smells like oranges. You shake your head, tongue rolling over your lips. “No.” Your free hand lands on her hip and squeezes. Her jaw slacks around a gasp.

“… Oh.”

“Oh?” You want — need to kiss her so badly. Steal all the oxygen from her lungs so that she has no other choice but to breathe from you. Only you. Your vision is hazy with each travel over her face. She looks so soft, so pliant, so ready and prepared for you to take from her. Just like you hoped. 

Your hand travels, pushing her sweatshirt up just above the waistline of her pants, fiddling with the knot right under her bellybutton. 

You pull at the string until it loosens, “She gave you head?” 

“T-The milf?” 

“Yeah. The milf.” Aggravation seeps through your tone. Ellie’s hips twitch. 

“… Yeah?” She coughs. You hum and hook your thumb under the band and inch them down. They aren’t even off all the way and you can tell she’s naked underneath. 

“How good was it?” 

“I don’t… know?” 

“Yeah you do. How good was it?” You snip, and Ellie winces. “I-I squirted.” She trips over her words and your clit jumps. You don’t say anything, and she seems sad. 

“… Are you mad at me?” 

“No.” Your tone says otherwise. You’re not mad. You don’t know what you are. You don’t like what she’s telling you, though. Fuck milfs… You love them with your entire heart, but fuck them. 

… Yeah. You’re high as shit. 

You sit up and she moves to follow you, but you push her down and she goes limp under your touch. 

“Don’t move. Just lay there.” 

She pouts and you almost kiss it, “Don’t be mad.” 

“I told you I’m not.” You swing a leg over her waist and she sighs dreamily. “How many times did you come.” You’re not asking; She’s going to tell you. You raise her sweatshirt up over her breasts. 

“T-Two — Two.” She moves to throw her sweatshirt over her head but you snatch her wrists, pinning them right on the cushiony mattress. She doesn’t fight you. 

“I want you quiet. Your dad’ll kill me if he hears you.”

Her eyes go glossy and twinkle, “Okay— “ 

“I mean it. Don’t say shit.” 

“M’not gonna,” She whines before her mouth clamps shut. You give her overlapped wrists one last threatening squeeze, watching her fingers go lax before releasing her. You cup her tits and her eyes flutter shut, teeth sinking into her lower lip. You mouth at the valley between her tits and her back arches to follow each swipe of your tongue. 

You kiss all over her ribcage, almost feeling each erratic thump of her heart under your tongue. She keens when your tongue flicks over the rising bud of her nipple, thighs squeezing around your hips. Your mouth latches onto the skin right above her areola, teeth sinking into it before sucking. Her hips raise and she’s breathing like she’s about to faint, and you grin like a fox. 

You don’t let up until a wet maroon mark is left on her tit before swiftly switching to the next one, leaving a much harsher spot on the raised skin. An eager hand scratches down her torso until it brushes the patch of hair that peeks out from under her pants. 

You shove your hand beneath the light cloth and your fingers are drenched in seconds. Your walls squeeze around nothing when you feel her clit jump in excitement. Her squishy lips spread around your middle and index fingers, her throbbing bundle of nerves cinched between them. She keeps making fucking noise and the walls seem to shake. 

“What’d I say.”

“I — m’sorry, can’t h-help i— “

“Be quiet, Ellie.” Your fingers slip over her messy clit in slow, teasing circles. You release her skin until it’s blistering and bruised, quickening the pace of your fingers and she pulses in your hand. Your tongue swirls around her nipple once more, cheeks hollowing when you suckle. 

Your eyes search for hers but her head is thrown back, neck strained and veins popping from beneath her skin. Your lips release the skin and your drippy hand leaves her pants. Your nipples harden under your tee when she reaches for your retreating form, fingers digging into your sweats. 

Her pants are yanked down and tossed across the room, her toes curling in her rainbow-striped socks when your hands hook under her knees to push them up to her chest. Her arms entangle under her bent legs to hold them out of your way. 

“I could fuck you right now with no problems.” You exhale in a daze, “S’fucking drippin’.” You envision how good her pussy will swallow whatever pops in, how easy it’ll stretch around something thick—

Ellie’s eyes shine like you offered her candy and her hole clamps down hard. You chuckle. “You want that?” 

Her head bounces off the pillow in rushed nods. If your mouth wasn’t so fucking dry, you’d be slobbering all over her pussy. “Remember what I said?” You remind her, and she plants a heavy hand over her mouth. You kiss her ankle in appreciation. 

Your fingers move on autopilot, massaging her clit a few more times before inching down, your index pushing past the tight, gripping muscles. Your finger’s swallowed whole in an instant and Ellie’s trying her hardest to mask her squeaks. “Fuck me,” you sigh when she takes another finger with no hassle, walls engulfing your digits in wetness. Her scent is surrounding you and it’s intoxicating. 

“Missed you s’bad— “

“Missed you more, baby. Missed this pussy,” You’re pussydrunk and you’re slipping. That spot in her cunt becomes plumper with each press of your fingertips, “She fucked you better than me?” 

Ellie’s denial is convincing, but that sick part of your brain doesn’t believe her. She loved being touched by someone, wanted by someone. Someone who wasn’t you, and you’re livid, “Nooo— “

You slice through her whine, “No?” Your smile is sadistic and your fingers are relentless, “You said her name like you said mine?” You grit and her eyes cycle into her skull, her hair sticking to her forehead. She’s trying to keep her voice down when she whispers how she only thought about you when she made a mess. She wanted you there, she says, she needed you there to take care of her. 

“Y’fuck me s’good, fuck— “

Your eyes are dead, “I’ll hurt you. Be quiet.” 

Fear flashes beneath her desire and she listens, keeping her sobs to a minimum. The sloppy, wet sounds of her pussy overtake the entire room the harder you fuck in, her nails tearing into her Pikachu stuffie on the corner of her bed. A string of drool dribbles from her bottom lip to her sweatshirt, her eyes glowing under the dimly lit lamp. 

Her walls shake and throb on you, “Gonna cum, baby?” You grin manically at her dumbed-out expression, cheeks wet and eyes droopy. You coo at her and force in as deep as you can, curling your fingers up, fighting against the tight contractions of her walls. 

“Make a mess on me, baby, I gotchu, c’mon— “

A long, drawn-out moan escapes Ellie’s lips, and you’re so hypnotized by the heavy spray of juices that lands on your thigh that you don’t even bother to shut her up. She’s drenching her sheets and blankets and you and it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. You’re fucking wave after wave out of her and she’s practically riding your hand, groaned curses and dazed squeaks of your name bouncing off the walls. 

It feels like minutes pass when her orgasm slows, inner thighs drenched and dripping with slickness. Ellie’s entire body shakes and her thighs squeeze around your hand as she attempts to catch her breath, but you’re not done. You’re not satisfied. She didn’t give you enough. 

You climb onto her and your lips connect in a simmering kiss, her wet mouth smacking against yours. Her cold hands land on either of your cheeks and your hips roll downward on hers. She whines into your mouth and tries to meet your hips but you force them back onto the mattress. She yanks at your shirt in attempts to rip it off but you don’t let up, lips slipping down to connect with her neck. 

Your wrist twists downward until you're met with her sticky bush once more, spreading her lips apart and shoving your fingers back inside her. She chokes a wet gasp when they hit right where she needs, her arms wrapping around the back of your neck to hold you close. You’re babbling nonsense in her ear as you work her, telling her how she’s stuck with you, how you’re never leaving her side again, demanding that she says you're the best she’s ever had. And she does, and either you’re fucked out of your mind, or she means it. 

You barely catch how your hips move like you're fucking her, driving into her as hard as you can and she takes it, stretches her legs wider so you can reach the spots she’s never been able to on her own. She’s saying your name like a prayer, like it’s all she’s ever known, and it’s breaking you down, only to build you back up so you can crash back into her. You missed her so fucking bad and you’re unleashing all of your feelings on her body and she eats all of it. How could you leave her when she fucking needs you this badly? You’ll never forgive yourself. 

She’s warning you, crying about how you’re going to make her squirt again, begging you to slow down because she can’t take what you’re giving her, but you feel so good and you know she does, too. You can’t stop even if you want to. You want to drain her, live inside her for the rest of your days on Earth. You’re forcing space for you inside her.

Her nails dig into your shoulders as she cums. She’s unapologetically loud and it flows directly in your ear, and your own noises leave your mouth and land onto the clammy skin of her throat. The jets of fluid that leave her are stronger than the last, and you laugh. Laugh in ecstasy and joy and pleasure that you can’t even feel, but it’s there. Right in your chest. 

You’re not done. You’ll never be done with her. 

The night evaporates with you in between her legs, slurping every bit of cum and stress that you may have caused since knowing her from the source until the sun shines through her blinds, drinking from her like you’ll die without her taste on your tongue. She lets you do whatever you need to feel satiated, but it’ll never be enough now. 

You’ll never be done with her. 

Ellie’s naked form jolts awake when ticklish breaths hit her shoulder. 

You’re beneath her, slumped, pantsless legs entangling hers and arms twisted every which way as you slobber and snore. A smile grows on Ellie’s face at your peaceful expression; She’s never slept that good in her own bed. She doesn’t want to wake you, but she has to pee so fucking badly. 

She shifts in her position and instantly cringes at the soreness in her legs. Warmth coats the crests of her cheeks when she sees the discarded sheets and pillowcases that were changed only hours ago on the floor, head plopping onto your shoulder to hide in your neck. Your snoring gets cut by a guttural cough and Ellie laughs to herself when your snores pick up again. 

She’s not a morning person in the slightest, so why the fuck is she so happy? Is this the post-sex glow that her friends always tell her about? Is she still considered a virgin if you only used your fingers and tongue? She doesn't feel like one… Sex rules are fucking dumb. She stops stressing before she ruins her morning. 

The pangs in her bladder are getting on her nerves; She wants to cuddle. She sighs and shifts on top of you, trying her hardest not to disrupt your deep slumber. She manages to separate and clothe herself before waddling down the hall and into the bathroom, trying to ignore the aches in her thighs. You wrecked her shit… What the hell. 

The second she leaves the bathroom, she smells coffee. Her dad’s up. She might vomit. 

The two of you weren’t that loud. Definitely not. He couldn’t have heard. He didn’t hear! Ellie’s stealthy as she tiptoes through the hall… until the fucking floorboards croak from beneath her and she nearly faints. 

“Come out, dipshit. I know it’s you.” 

Her eyes squeeze shut and she curses to herself. She reluctantly appears from behind the wall, her dad sitting comfortably on the couch with a filled mug and newspaper, Pickle napping on his lap. He peeks from above his reading glasses. 

“Think we needa talk.” 

“… Fuck me.” She whispers before shamefully limping into the living room. She flops onto the couch and glues her eyes onto the decorative rugs under the coffee table. 

“She seems nice.” Her dad sips his mug. Ellie’s face burns. 

“She is.” She mumbles. You took such good care of her after last night. You got her in the shower, brushed her teeth for her when she was damn near sleepwalking, watched her down two bottles of water. Her heart flutters at how soft your eyes turned when you kissed her to sleep. 

“Is she your girlfriend?” 

“… I dunno.” He hums and sips. 

She doesn’t know. You’re not dating, but Ellie thinks you like her… She thinks. She likes you… a lot. She bites at her nails. 

“You like her?” He asks lowly; She knows he knows. 

“Yeah…” Ellie whispers, cheeks rising on their own. She covers her face when he smiles. 

“Just… take your time.” Joel advises gently, “Did she tell you she’s in therapy?” 

Ellie’s ears perk and her brows furrow, “No.” She sits up. Her dad’s gaze softens, “Wait til she brings it up, then. Y’all should talk before things get serious. It’s only been a couple days.” 

Ellie knows her dad is right, but it’s hard to control herself when she’s around you. She naturally gravitates towards your aura; It’s comforting and she doesn’t want to lose it again. 

A gentle clatter comes from her bedroom and she stands. You’re awake. 

“I love you, kiddo,” Joel says, and she smiles softly. “Love you, too.” 

She scurries down the hallway and enters her bedroom, seeing you sprawled out on the floor, all wrapped in sheets. 

Your eyes are droopy when you croak, “Hello.” Ellie snickers. 

“Hi. What happened.” 

“I was reaching for, like… an orb in my dream and I guess I did it in real life,” Your voice gets so raspy in the morning, and it tickles her ears. Ellie can’t stop laughing. She helps you stand before kissing your cheek. 

“Good morning,” she wraps her arms around your neck. 

“M-Mornin’,” You squeak, eyes flitting around, “Uh… How'd you sleep?” 

“Good.” She’s lost in your brown eyes. They’re warm like the sun. Why won’t you look at her? 

She follows your line of vision down to your fiddling hands before whispering, “You okay?” You simply nod. Ellie’s heart stutters nervously. 

“Do you still wanna come over later?” 

“… Yeah.” Your attempts to disguise your stiffness fail. Ellie feels a lump forming in her throat when she detaches from you, and you search for the new pair of pants she gave you before you went to bed. Ellie watches silently, crestfallen. Something she did triggered your aloofness, so she turns to leave the room.

Her voice cracks, “I’m gonna… shower again— “

“Ellie.” 

She turns, “Yes?” 

Her fists clench when you walk until you’re standing in front of her, warm hand coming up to hold her cheek before kissing her. It’s soft and makes Ellie’s fingers thrum with excitement. It only lasts seconds before you pull away, and Ellie chases your mouth.  

“I’d love to come over. I think we… should talk about some things.” You say quietly, and Ellie silently agrees. You let her go and she wants nothing but for you to pull her in once more, shrouded in your warmth. 

You’re making her bed when Ellie leaves for the bathroom, body falling against the door to calm herself down. You’re not upset with her, and you want to come over… to talk, whatever that means.

The hot water burns her skin; She spends her entire shower thinking about how she can make you as happy as she feels. 

taggiessssss :3 @dyk3ang3l @ellieloml @inf3ct3dd @fromminaa @womenofarcane @sawaagyapong @mina-281 @aouiaa @bbglmfao @i00rii @sakiigami @starologist @southelroys @diddiqueen @trackinglessons @ellieswhorcrux @villainousbear @p4ison1vy @tohoko @yuckyfucky @dollyfleurs @elsbunny222 @sevsbimbo @amiorca @alittlextrahoney @gato-chino @topiatwin @r3wbeef @elliesatchel @muthafuckingstargirl @callmewhenyoukan @macaroni676 @draculurasblog @ellieaesp @@gravygranules @elsblunt

[softpascalito]

I To Dig a Grave I Chapter 1 I

Summary: Twenty-one years after the outbreak, you come to Wyoming looking for something and end up in Jackson after a stranger saves your life.

But he doesn't stay a stranger.

Turns out Joel Miller is looking for something too. It feels like a fresh start. But when bad luck seems to follow you, Joel is the only one to turn to, forcing both of you to confront your feelings about your pasts- and each other.

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader Rating: Explicit / MDNI Word count: 7k+ Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Age Difference, Smut, Explicit Content, Grief/Mourning, Mental Health Issues, Canon-Typical Violence, Chose not to use Archive Warnings, Tags to be added

AO3 LINK // Series Masterlist // Playlist

notes: this work has been quite a while in the making and im very excited to finally share the first chapter! a huge thank you to the wonderful josie for being my beta reader and listening to all my rambling <3

this fic will deal with heavy topics. please note that it doesn't use archive warnings and tags will be added as we go in order to avoid spoilers. each chapter will have detailed warnings in the end notes on ao3.

Chapter 1 - The Before

‘‘I will be very sad to leave here’, Yves said, suddenly. ‘I have never been happier than I have been in this house.’ ‘I have been very happy too. I wonder if we will ever be so happy again.’’  - Another Country, James Baldwin

You’d been on the run for what felt like weeks but could only have been days when you found the gas station next to an abandoned mall. It had looked promising, the half-rotten advertisements plastered to the walls, reminding your stomach that it had gone far too long without a proper meal, or any meal for that matter.

Maybe if you hadn’t been so starved or so tired, you would’ve heard them coming, the Infected that stormed through the back door practically the moment you slipped into the building. A yell escaped your throat, your hand instinctively reaching for the knife you kept buckled to your leg. You didn't even get the chance to pull it out of its makeshift holster before the creature was on top of you, pinning you to the floor with what felt like inhuman strength.

“Fucking- get off-” you grunted, but even if the thing on top of you had been one that listened to commands, your thin and shaky voice likely wouldn’t have impressed it.

So this was how you were gonna go out. In a town you couldn't even name, somewhere in the snowy mountains of Wyoming, after finally escaping the life you’d been stuck in for so long. You hadn't even made it a month.

For a second, you considered trying to reach for your gun, still tucked into your pants and pressing into your back uncomfortably. You could feel its outline against your skin, a pain shooting through your spine as the Infected seemed to double its effort to reach your neck with its mouth, half-rotten teeth close enough that you could recognize the foul smell of death.

Then, the gun went off. Or you thought it did. The unmistakable sound of a gunshot rang in your ears as the Infected collapsed on top of you. But the feeling of your pistol pressing into your back was still there. It had been a gun. But not yours.

“I got her!” a voice above you bellowed out, an unmistakable southern drawl. “Tommy, give me some cover here, goddammit!”

You hadn't even noticed the second man, who was now aiming his gun at another runner storming towards him. He fired, once, twice, and the Infected let out a howl before its body hit the tiled floor with a thud.

“Hey, you with me?” The man above you leaned down, shoving the Infected that had been on top of you to the side unceremoniously. He was dressed in a worn jacket, jeans and boots, the latter two splattered with blood. His right hand, covered in a weathered leather glove, was stretched out towards you, an invitation to, well, you weren't exactly sure.

“She good?”

The second man approached the pair of you, your eyes flying over to him for a split moment. He was dressed similarly, except that he looked a little younger than his partner. He shouldered his rifle and tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear. Your gaze flew back to the man in front of you, to the brown eyes that carried an unexpectedly gentle look, not quite matching the gruff way he looked. Shaking slightly, you placed your hand in his, and the next moment, he was pulling you to your feet.

“There you are.”

You nodded, a motion that looked more like your head was jerking on its own accord. But the man seemed to accept it. As the other one stepped towards you, the taller of the two men spoke again.

“You clean?” When no response came, he pressed on, his tone getting a little more impatient. “Did it bite you? Scratch you anywhere?”

The other one gently placed a hand on his chest, forcing your attention onto himself. “Can you walk? Our horses are two houses over, we've got a place where you can rest, get some food-”

“I'm not going anywhere with you,” you blurted out. You'd had your fair share of people, of men offering you ‘help’ and it never stopped there. There was payment, always. In this world, it was stupid to think there wouldn't be, that anyone would help you out of the kindness of their hearts.

“You're not going anywhere else by the looks of it, either,” the man with the gloves muttered, more than loud enough for you to hear. “You won't last a week.”

“I've lasted longer, asshole,” you shot back, suddenly angry at the stranger in front of you. He didn't know you, he didn't know the things you'd gone through to get here. So what if he had saved your life? It didn't give him the right to predict your death.

The other man nudged his ribs, extending his hand to you as well, though it was more of a formality this time. 

“Name’s Tommy. The asshole is my brother Joel.”

He paused for a moment, clearly thinking about how to approach this the right way. “Look, I'm sure you've been traveling for quite some time. We can give you a place to recover. You can leave anytime, I promise.”

You eyed him carefully. It did sound too good to be true. But it also did sound- good. A roof over your head, warm food in your stomach- two things you'd been craving for quite some time.

“Okay.”

The man who had introduced himself as Tommy gave a short nod and led the way to the horses, following tracks in the snow the two men had left while coming to your rescue. Joel pulled up the rear and you had a feeling that his eyes were trained on you, watching carefully, maybe for a twitch or anything else out of the ordinary. Again, you weren't sure why, but it made you angry.

“I told you I wasn't bit,” you repeated in his direction as Tommy began untying the horses. 

Joel raised a brow, clearly surprised by the attitude in your voice. “‘ts what they usually say.”

“Well, I'm not,” you replied, turning your back on him and focusing on his brother instead. Tommy pretended not to have heard either of you but somehow you were certain he had.

“C’mon, you can ride with me. It's not too far.”

Not too far turned out to be a good hour, the crisp autumn air making you shiver, and you were thankful for the warmth of both the horse and Tommy. But what the ride lacked in temperature it made up for in views, the sun coming out just as you passed the first sign that read ‘Jackson County’.

You didn't even mind Joel's occasional glances towards you as much, finding that with the sunlight playing in his brown curls, his look screamed less of danger and more of concern. Whether it was concern for Tommy or you or something entirely different, you weren't sure.

The answer came to you in the form of your housing arrangements. After getting over the first shock of riding up a busy mainstreet in what looked like an actual, functioning town, a thing you hadn't thought possible anymore, you had made use of what must have been the first functioning toilet you'd seen in months. You felt like a child being steered through the crowd at a busy carnival, if the food hall, the functioning plumbing and electricity and the music drifting from one of the smaller shops was any indication.

“You know we ain't got any unoccupied places and Maria and mine’s no good with the baby screaming all night,” Tommy muttered urgently and you frowned a little. The two men were standing a few feet away, clearly unaware that you were already back and you awkwardly shoved your hands in your pockets, considering going back inside for a moment. But then Joel opened his mouth and you couldn't help but listen in on their conversation. The older man seemed as much a mystery as the entire scene around you.

Tommy piped up before Joel even had a chance to argue. “It's just for a couple of nights. I’m sure Ellie and you will manage. You take her in, explain the basics and as soon as we got a place, you can go back to shutting yourself off from every goddamn person in this town-”

“I don’t-” Joel interrupted before shaking his head, a low grunt leaving his throat.

“Fine. Until Thursday, no longe-” He broke off at the look on Tommys face, one that was aimed directly at you. You shyly nodded in his direction and closed the distance between you in a few quick steps. 

The younger man cleared his throat, giving you a reassuring smile. “Find everything okay?”

“Yeah, thanks,” you replied politely. You hated how forced the conversation felt, already regretting listening in on it at all.

“Joel here’s gonna get you settled for the night, you let him know if you need anything else. I'll stop by in the morning and introduce you to Maria, she’s-”

“The boss,” Joel finished for him, earning a small glare from Tommy. 

“One of our elected leaders,” he corrected, another smile playing around his lips at the mention of what you assumed must be his wife. “Well, I'll leave ya two to it.”

Joel took you home. He still gave you that look, and with Tommy gone, you could be sure that it was actually aimed towards you. It was like he was still on guard but whether it was of you or something else, you couldn't tell.

“Here's how this is gonna go,” he started as he fumbled with the front door of the house clad in white. “You get a quick check-up, a shower, some fresh clothes- you get the idea.”

“I get the idea,” you repeated as he led you into the hallway, unable to keep yourself from glancing around for a moment, catching a peek of the dining room. “You live here by yourself?”

“Why?”

His question hit you out of nowhere and you stuttered for a moment, racking your brain for a good response, “Just- I was making conversation. Jesus.”

“Right,” Joel nodded, his gaze softening a bit. He placed his bag onto the floor and tapped his right thigh absent-mindedly. “Come on, follow me.”

He took you into the upstairs bathroom that smelled faintly of soap, reminding you that you hadn't had a proper wash in more days than you cared to count. There were a few small containers, mostly re-used mason jars, that were labeled ‘shampoo’ or ‘body wash’, sitting orderly on the small shelf next to the tub.

You felt more than heard Joel shift behind you and turned to meet his gaze. He was still watching, arms crossed, seemingly waiting for something.

“Do I- shower?” you asked softly and he sighed a little at that. 

“I need to check you for bites.” His voice was low but still carried a small note of sternness in it. 

Oh, right.

“I didn't agree to that.”

You could see his hand twitch, the handle of his revolver still sticking out the back of his jeans. “You're bit.”

It was more of a statement than anything else, like he already knew what was waiting for him under your clothes, maybe a bite on your leg, a scratch on your stomach. Joel had dealt with enough people that had been marked for death like that to know the signs of it. The thing was, he was wrong.

“Is this what it is?” you asked, quietly, trying to keep your voice from shaking.

“Excuse me?”

“Is that why you go outside, save people? So you can bring them back here, get them to take their clothes off for you-”

“Whoa-” Joel held up both hands, shaking his head very slowly. “I think we got off on the wrong foot here. I need to check you for bites, it’s protocol.” His voice was still deep, that southern drawl you heard earlier in the gas station still present but somehow softer. His features had shifted, seeming genuinely surprised by the turn of your conversation.

“Now, if you want someone else to do it, I can get a lady and let her look you over. We just want to be sure we don’t bring Infected in, that's all.”

“That's all?” you asked as he kept his eyes trained on you, his hands still up in the air and his expression soft.

“I swear, that's all. If you can show me you're not bit, I'll get you that shower, some food, you name it.”

You gave a small nod at that, your body deflating a little. It had been an incredibly long day and the man in front of you seemed genuine. If he wasn't, you could still try and bail.

Joel turned slightly under the pretense of grabbing a towel from below the sink but you knew he was attempting to give you a bit of privacy- even though he clearly didn’t trust you enough to fully turn his back on you. With shaky hands, you began to strip, holding back a wince as you forced your bruised body to move. The fabric of your shirt clung to your skin, dry blood forcing another whimper out of your throat.

You felt Joel's head snap towards you at that but ignored him, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of showing quite how uncomfortable you felt about going through this with him next to you.

He was quick and professional, his large hands brushing over your skin as he made sure you were clean.

“All good,” he commented shortly when he was satisfied, his shoulders relaxing a bit as he reached for a stack of folded towels. Then, his gaze rested on your head again, more specifically, on your matted hair.

“You want me to get someone to cut that for you? Might be easier than-”

“No,” you quickly piped up. You knew your body was malnourished and likely had a dozen other things wrong with it. You didn’t want to lose your hair too.

Joel nodded, his hand absent-mindedly trailing over a particularly nasty knot. “I think I got some soap conditioner in the closet. You want to give that a try?” 

“Yeah, that’d be great,” you responded curtly and Joel disappeared from the room for a few moments. He came back, as promised, with a soap smelling of jasmine and cotton. 

He didn’t seem as hesitant, now that he knew you weren’t bit. At least that’s what you assumed had caused the shift in him. It didn’t occur to you that it might be the fact that you were sitting on his bathroom tiles, shivering, assuming the worst in him, in men, hell, in society. That you looked like a wounded deer, ready to take off at the slightest notion of danger, no matter how badly you were already bleeding.

Joel was a lot more gentle than you would have expected a man of his build to be. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing, reaching just far enough to cover your entire hair, but never letting any conditioner run down onto your face. It made you wonder if he was a father. Then you remembered his brother had mentioned a girl earlier, Ellie. Still, you knew better than to ask. You’d likely be gone in a few days anyway.

But, there was one question that you couldn’t keep from slipping out of your mouth.

“Why did you think I was bit?”

Joel paused for a moment, his fingers slowing down ever so slightly as he seemed to think about his words.

“You weren’t fighting hard enough. To stay alive, I mean. You were acting like someone who knows that their time is up.”

An uncomfortable silence settled between the two of you. You felt his hand brush over the crown of your head, lathering the matted mess that was your hair with soap in small, circular motions.

“I thought it was,” you whispered, honestly. You couldn't bring yourself to lie to him. But you couldn't bring yourself to explain it either.

He didn’t ask.

Neither of you spoke again until you were curled up in his bed, him insisting to take the couch for the night. He’d fed you some soup, relieved when he saw that your stomach could handle that. He’d warned you that it might not, after getting so used to going days without food. You’d gotten some worn but warm clothes to wear after the shower and now your body was sinking into an actual mattress. It was more than you’d dreamed of just that morning.

Joel paused in the doorway, his hand tapping against his jeans, a habit you had already picked up on. It was like he didn’t know what to do with his hands when they weren’t holding a gun.

“You don’t have to leave,” he said quietly. “You know that, right?”

Your mouth went dry as you tried to keep your tone nonchalant. His expression told you that it wasn't exactly working. “Who said I was leaving?”

“You look like you will.”

Again, a quiet fell over you and you shook your head softly. “What, you were a psychologist before or something?”

He smiled weakly. “Contractor.”

After a short pause, he went on. “I know it's hard to- to trust. When ya first get here. I felt the same.” 

You felt a small breath leave your throat at that. “But it gets better?”

“There's hot water, three meals a day, fair working conditions. I don't think it gets much better out there,” he pointed out softly before giving you a small nod.

“I'll be downstairs if you need anything. Good night.”

27 months later

The almost-empty soap sits on your bathroom shelf, the one that’s screwed to the wall just above the worn-out bathtub. You’ve gotten it refilled every few months, sometimes sooner if you wanted to allow yourself a little treat. It still reminds you of your first day in Jackson, of the safety that you so quickly felt in every room of Joel's house.

You still have some time before you have to head to work and the blue sky promises a cold but clear day so you decided to go and check if you’re in luck with any available refills today. Stock always changes throughout the week and while there’s usually something available, you prefer to get your chosen products if possible.

No such luck.

“Sorry, we’re all out. Think patrols cleared out the store that had these a while ago,” the woman behind the counter says apologetically. “We have some others if you’d like to try a new one, there’s-”

“I’m good,” you quickly insist, giving her a small smile when you notice you may have sounded a little harsh. “I’ll just wait and see if some more comes in.”

In one quick motion, you turn around and head towards the door- only to run face-first into a broad chest draped in a thick, brown coat.

“Whoa.” The deep voice above you immediately sends a gentle warmth through your body and you take a small step back to be able to squint up at the man you bumped into.

“Sorry, Texas, didn't see you there.”

“I told you to stop calling me that,” Joel mutters weakly, fumbling with the small bag he is carrying before handing it over to the woman behind the counter. She thanks him and quickly begins to sort the items he has brought back from patrol. He’s wearing the thick coat you see on him whenever it drops below freezing, his dark boots leaving small pieces of wet mud on the floor of the small store. He’s been doing the creek trails then, most likely.

You’ve rarely been on patrol yourself, focusing your energy more on tasks inside the community. If it hadn’t been for Joel, you know you probably would have taken off in the first few days, maybe stolen some food and been on your way. But he’d gotten you to stay. With him, for a few days. Then they had found space for you in a small guesthouse close to the mainstreet, to be shared with a young woman not unlike yourself that had offered up her vacant bedroom.

You’d taken an instant liking to Lane. Joel had dropped you off at your new home, with the few things you owned, and you and her had both stood in the small kitchen in awkward silence, racking your brains for a good conversation starter. Of course, you’d come up with the one she probably heard every other day.

“I like your hair.”

It wasn’t a lie. Her hair was cut short but thick, and most importantly, it was blue. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen colored hair. It seemed to fit her though. The roots were brown and the overall color a little less vibrant than you’d seen in magazines of people before the outbreak. If anything, you liked this more.

“Thanks,” she said lamely, twisting her hand around the small cup she was holding. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I’m the worst at social shit,” she finally blurted out and it looked like she was half glad to admit it and half afraid of your reaction.

“Don’t worry. Me too,” you admitted, a grin spreading over both your faces, the silence seeming a lot more bearable now. She shrugged towards the counter, half a dozen muffins sitting on it. “You like blueberries? A friend let me nick these.”

She paused for a moment, brushing a strand of blue hair behind her ear. “I mean, technically they’re not real blueberries, the ground here is too dry for those. I think they’re called juneberries, but we never call them that.”

You figured she’d be a solid roommate if she’d just met you and was already sharing her sweets. Half an hour later, when you had vomited the blueberry muffins back up in your shared bathroom, Joel’s warning about solid food still ringing in your ears, when she was standing beside you, holding your hair back and handing you a washcloth when you were finished, you knew she’d be more than a roommate. She’d be your friend.

She had also been the one to get you into teaching. You’d been fascinated when she first told you about her job in town, teaching the children of Jackson practically every subject she could. Neither of you had been in school before the outbreak so it was all the more impressive, the way she managed to control a class without the need to get loud or hand out punishments.

You’d taken a liking to the classrooms of Jackson as well, reminiscing on the last summer before the world had gone to shit and the way you’d looked forward to being in school, learning all the things big girls did. Not getting to sit in a classroom, and you didn’t count those at FEDRA as actual classrooms, had been only one of so many things you felt you had missed out on.

So it felt even more special now when, after you got Maria to assign you as teacher alongside Lane, you spent your days in the colorfully decorated classrooms, teaching a variety of subjects and a variety of ages. It was similar to life in Jackson, not without its fair amount of challenges. But, just as Joel had promised the first night, you learned to trust and the more you did, the easier it was to let yourself be. Above all, to let yourself be happy.

Joel steps outside alongside you, his head jerking back towards the small supply store. “Did ya get everything?”

His voice is soft, and you like to imagine that he sounds a little more gentle when speaking to you compared to the others. Not that you see him talking to a lot of people either way. You're pretty sure it's why he prefers the patrols, less people to bother him and less voices to listen to. Even though you had a feeling, about a year after you arrived in Jackson, that he also preferred being paired up with Esther, a pretty woman who took care of the horses and frequented the patrols. Especially those with Joel.

You had almost hoped for them to end up together, to drive the images of Joel alone at his too large dining table out of your head. But they didn't and the images stayed. You had him over for dinner, every other month. It started as a thank-you for helping you through your first days and quickly developed into a rare but regular thing. Ellie or Lane joined you occasionally, happy to get a nice home-cooked dinner and some of the wine Joel usually brought along.

You didn't see too much of him outside of your little gatherings, only the normal occasions that presented themself around town. But it was nice to know that he was there, that he would bring his wine and compliment your cooking and make small-talk and listen to the new developments of your life.

“It makes sense for you to be a teacher,” he’d agreed after you’d updated him on your new position, causing you to raise a brow. 

“What is that supposed to mean? Think I can’t handle myself out on the group patrols?”

His face slowly changed at that, Joel urgently shaking his head, “I didn't mean-”

You cut him off with a small laugh, no longer able to stay serious at how panicked he looked. “I’m messing with you, old man. I know what you meant. I think it makes sense too. I like it.”

His shoulders relaxed slightly as he leaned back against the kitchen counter, grumbling a little under his breath.

It's Joel's voice that brings you back to the present. “I asked if you got everything?”

You shake your head to get rid of the thoughts, then it turns to shaking your head no. “They’re out of conditioner. But it’s fine, I can stretch mine a bit longer and maybe they’ll get some next week.”

“Ya still using the same one?” Joel asks, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat and you nod. It's sweet that he remembers. It's been over two years, after all.

“Yeah. Liked it, never saw a reason to switch,” you explain lamely. He only gives a short nod, motioning for you to follow as he starts walking. 

You do, though perplexed. “School’s in the other direction.” “Thought your class didn’t start until ten today,” he points out. It never appears to you to ask how or why he knows this. When your steps slow down and your thoughts speed up simultaneously, he nudges you along.

“You want your soap or not?” he grumbles and your face lights up a little at that. 

“You got some?” 

Joel gives another quick nod. “Brought them back a few weeks ago. I would’ve given them to you if I knew ya still used them.”

You trot beside him like a puppy, making your way down Rancher Street and up the flight of stairs that leads to the small house clad in white. The noise of the wind chimes tied to a beam above his front porch drifts over to you, the gentle breeze creating a slow melody.

You haven’t been in his upstairs bathroom for years. It’s odd and it feels too intimate, seeing the place where he brushes his teeth in the morning, where he washes himself after a long day. You don't belong in a space this personal. You don't belong to him.

It felt different when you were curled up on the same white tiles, letting him check your bruised and battered body for signs of Infection. For a split moment, it did feel like you belonged, in a way.

Joel's hand brushes over yours as he hands you the soap, the one smelling of jasmine and cotton and safety. 

The rest of the day is a blur of lessons and grading, but the smell of the soap seems to linger, the comforting feeling in your stomach getting you through the work day. It doesn’t end until seven with you staying behind to tutor some kids for an upcoming exam and then to finish preparing said exam. The smell of food fills the air as you open your front door and you smile as you poke your head into the kitchen, “Smells good.”

Lane is seated at the table, a few papers in front of her. Likely an exam of her own, you think to yourself. Even after the world has ended, finals season still exists.

“My mum made that pasta you like so much today. Figured I'd save you some,” she says, nodding towards the tupperware sitting on the counter.

“You're an angel.” You whistle as you head deeper into the house, putting away your jacket and bag, fishing the soap out of the latter and placing it on the bathroom shelf. It makes you pause for a moment. You give a nod to yourself at the sight of the refilled container and make a silent vow to treat yourself to a nice bath today.

An hour later, your stomach is filled with warm pasta, the bathroom damp with steam and your hair soft, smelling just the way you like it. The clock in the small hallway reminds you that it's already past twelve and the knowledge that tomorrow is another day filled with teaching makes you want to crawl into bed fairly quickly. But you're thirsty.

Lane is still in the kitchen, her blue hair a little messy and crowned with a pair of headphones. The music spills out a bit, enough for you to be able to hear the low, steady humming of a song that seems mildly familiar.

You do remember a few songs from before the Outbreak- mainly the ones they played on the radio. But you know that Lane doesn’t, being a few years younger than you, meaning that she barely has any memories of the before.

You're already in your pajamas, shuffling to the sink to pour yourself a glass of water. Somehow it always tastes better at night. Or maybe your brain is playing tricks on you.

“Hey, you remember Joel is coming over for dinner on Sunday, right?” you ask with your back to your friend. When no response comes, you gulp down the last bit of water and turn around, giving a small wave in the air between you. 

Lane sits up a little more, pushing one side of her headphones back just enough to free her ear. “Hm?”

“Dinner with Joel, Sunday,” you repeat, a yawn escaping you. 

After a moment, she nods. “Right, I remember. We’re out of blueberries again, by the way.”

“I’ll make sure to restock this weekend then,” you agree, already halfway across the room. You give another small wave and finally head to bed. It looks exactly the same way you left it this morning, the blanket tucked into one side, the pillows arranged against the headboard.

“It's so good to be home,” you mutter to yourself as you crawl under the covers, stretching your body a little. Your left hand reaches for your nightstand and finds the book you've been reading, hoping to get just a tiny bit further tonight. With all the work and the winter festival coming up, you’ve barely made progress, the wooden bookmark still sitting near the front. You put it aside, glancing down at the finely carved piece of woodwork for a moment. Joel gave it to you for your first birthday in Jackson. Then you open the book properly, the worn-out spine cracking slightly. Just a couple of minutes.

But your eyes start to droop after just a few pages. After half a chapter, you're in a deep slumber, the book slipping out of your hands and onto the wooden floor below just as the front door slips shut.

if you enjoyed the chapter, please consider reblogging/sharing and commenting <3

[dungeonpuppykai]

Dating Joel Miller

Pairing: Bf!Joel Miller | Reader.

Warning(s): Age gap (reader is in their 20's), allusions to mature activities, mild d/s dynamics, fluff, cg!Joel, Daddy kink, begging, making out. I'll be safe and say minors do not interact.  

Setting: TLOU 2.

He's definitely an experience. 

Single-handedly rocks your world in more ways than one. 

So, so laid-back it's fucking sexy. 

Definitely tames the brat out of you. 

What he says goes because he's older and knows better. 

Or?

You live to learn he was right. 

So smug when that happens.

Not very vocal about his feelings but cares for you so much. 

The littlest of things that can easily be missed, Joel makes a point of remembering.  

Won't ever openly admit it though. 

Tough love in an endearing way.

From your favorite snacks to your preferred clothing, to the kinds of flowers or things you like to collect to getting you food whenever he does for himself and picking out the condiments you dislike to being mindful of the drink you prefer with it, he's got it all covered. 

A total ass when it comes to training and you best believe he doesn't hold back on it. After everything that's happened, he wants you to be prepared for anything and everything. 

Only rolls his eyes and shakes his head when you're being the kid that you are with Ellie and Co. 

Simply snorts when you all tease him for being a geezer. 

Because he knows that all it takes him is one certain look if it goes too far. 

And you are whimpering into your place like a puppy yanked by their leash. 

Besides, you can act all high and mighty as you want, Joel knows that the one who will have you all whiny, grabby and mushy underneath them will be him.

Whenever he wants. 

You're down so bad for him, oh my God. 

He knows it, and that's exactly why he doesn't get riled up when foolish little boys try their luck on you. 

Well, that is, not usually.

Loves to tease you and make you beg after you've acted out all day. 

"Oh, but I thought I was an old man who 'just didn't get' y'all, huh baby?" And you're a quivering, panting mess with your limbs tangled in his. 

Great. Fucking. Kisser.

Hot, sloppy, wet, sense melting, passionate kisses while his calloused hands roam all over you, occasionally squeezing the parts that cause you to make such a huge mess in your pants that he tuts when he feels it through your clothes. 

"Noooo, Daddy…" You're literally aching. 

"Tell me what you want, baby. Say it for Daddy and he will give it to ya" you are a writhing mess as your hips grind against his and you hump yourself on one of his thighs. 

"Please, Daddy… Need you so bad, Daddy… Please use me~" it depends on his mood how he treats you in bed though. 

Some days he could be the most tender lover with gentle caresses, featherlight touches, cotton-soft pecks and passionate love making. 

Other days include him pressing your face down into the mattress as his huge cock hammers in and out of your leaking slit, rough bites littering your skin as you struggle to breathe through the animalistic fucking. 

Nothing gets you to cum harder than when he sometimes wraps his hand around your throat, features stern with all that's taking him not to just obliterate you. 

Some days though, he likes to combine the two styles. 

Eats you out like a starved wolf.

But can take his sweet time with that as well.

Lets out the deepest, most throaty grunts when you suck his dick.

Has a couple ways of reprimanding you if you're too clumsy and neglectful with yourself. 

No one else is allowed to give you any shit though. 

Isn't overbearingly domineering at all.

He knows you're young and dumb and will need to make some of your own mistakes to learn.

Always there for you with open arms to console you when you do.

Your silly little friend group definitely knows when to make themselves gone when Joel decides that he's had enough of sharing you for the day and wants you all for himself. 

It's always subtle; like a gentle caress on your shoulder or a soft nudge in your side. Sometimes it can be a claiming hand on your lap. And then everyone knows that it's time to scurry out. 

Doesn't always play voluntarily. 

But when he does, it's for you. 

Especially if there's a storm, or you're extra sensitive from playtime, or just emotional in general. Sometimes he's just feeling affectionate.

Will usually deny it like his life depends on it but there are certain songs, a specific range of lyrics and a peculiar sort of tunes that he plays only for you. 

Every now and then you crawl into his lap after an intimate session and ask him to teach you how to play a song or two. 

Then hours pass with you two just huddled into each other, strumming melodies to life as your naked back presses into his strong chest, your ass fitting perfectly in the crook of his abdomen as he rests his chin on your head and revels in your scent.

Sometimes he slowly cockwarms you in that position as well. 

Cannot sleep without you. 

He wasn't always like this.

But there's no going back now. 

Joel is sure to keep tossing and turning until you're locked up close in his arms. 

Your safety and well-being is his top priority.

Always. 

.

Playing TLOU again and boy am I needy for this grizzly bear. Also I haven't watched the show but I love Pedro so yeah. Feedback and reblogs are much appreciated <3 

[rui-drawsbox]

Comm for @ SproutAstro :3c

[palilious]

Trey is pretty lenient when it comes to jewelry in the work place

[robinismywifee]

straight girl || e. williams

pairings ellie williams x fem!oc/reader

summary maria sends a straight girl with a boyfriend and ellie williams, a gay girl with a girlfriend, to go on a trip together but an unexpected storm traps them in a cabin. takes place in jackson, one bed trope? 19 y/o ellie, no spoilers, 3rd person pov, ellie has a crush on oc

warnings NSFW, fingering (r. receiving), scissoring?, pet names (babe, good girl), cheating, slight masturbation??

a/n be aware that aime is an oc and dont feel insecure or anything if she looks nothing like you, youre literally beautiful trust me, also you can always find my oneshots on my wattpad, also feel free to request stories 💕

wordcount 5.8k

ellie has always felt different towards aime. ever since she was 14, right when she first layed her eyes on her, she never took them off.

how she always walked around with a hudge smile on her face, her smile was so perfect, and her uneven white teeth only made it more perfect

when they first met, she had a soft pitch voice, and had soft features, making her face look so innocent and adorable, but as the years went on, her voice got deeper and more raspy, making her more captivating and euphonic, she still had softer features, but they almost shifted in a way to make her more elegant

along with her face and voice changing over the years, ellie noticed her body changed too, she grew more curves, her stomach always layed flat but her breasts were full, and from what you could see when she wore her laced tanktops she loved, they sat perfectly too..

something about her and her sandy blonde hair was just so alluring to ellie.

ellie wouldnt say she had a crush on her, the only time they would talk was during patrol, exchanging simple words and short sentences, or if they walked by, aime would make sure to smile at her and wave, but they never failed to make ellies mind freak out—

am i talking too much? is my hair okay? shit she looks so fucking hot. how do i make her laugh without making it seem like im trying too hard? what? did she just complement me? holy shit i think im gonna pass out. how can someone look so goddamn hot while doing literally anything?

—are typical things ellies mind would be yelling.

aime was well known around jackson, well known for being pretty, nice, happy, and hardworking

her looks never failed to amaze people, practically all the teenagers of jackson has asked her out, and she was really nice, if she knew your name and if you werent rude to her or other people (who dont deserve it), she would make sure to smile at you walking by, which is why anytime she saw ellie, she would give a warm smile, she also liked complimenting people, seeing there faces brighten up from a simple comment made her face brighten up, and all her compliments were always genuine, she would never lie and say she liked a shirt on someone if she didnt, which is also why she would compliment ellie, ellie was easy to compliment, she was so beautiful and nobody talked about her enough- plus ellies reaction everytime made aimes face yank a big smile, ellie would always get blushed cheeks and flustered

aime only ever did hard and dangerous work, she did patrols a lot, keeping the bad away from her people, and she was talented on trips, if for any reason she got kicked out of jackson, she would survive. she had great agility, knowledge, it wasnt her thing but she knew how to track and hunt, she scavenged better then others, she wasnt the strongest, but she definitely knew how to win a fight, usuing her smaller size to her advantage. she was smart, and she was genuinely a happy person.

"i know aime is like, really good with trips, ive gone on them with her before, but just the two of us? i mean seriously?" ellie complained to dina, "i don't get why your angry, shes a nice girl and shes a good person to go on a trip with" dina shurgged, dina and aime were actually good friends, not close per say, but they hung out when they could, if aime didnt constantly drown herself in work she would have more time for friends and dina, but for the past two months it was either work or daniel

ellie stayed silence at dinas remark, so dina continued, "you know.. before her and daniel started dating, you liked her, always coming home from those patrols ranting to me about how she complimented you and was super hot as she killed an infected, but now that shes dating him you hate her? why?"

this caused ellie to stop packing her bag and look up to dina, "dina, her dating some random guy i dont know has nothing to do with this! i just dont want to go on a whole ass trip alone with her, its gonna be awkward!" ellie defended, but they both knew that wasnt why ellie was so mad, "the trip youve known about for 2 days? really? thats weird, considering you've been mad and annoyed at her for the past 2 months"

"its just- you and her use to go on those 'friend dates' or whatever you weirdos call it, like every month, and now that she has a boyfriend she cant make room for you? or any other of her friends? like, if you walk by her, shes with her stupid boyfriend, holding hands and giggling like, what can he say to make you laugh like that? probably some stupid joke that isnt even funny, i dont even get why she likes him, hes ugly with his ugly hair and he's completely useless, he does nothing and he probably isnt even dating her for her!" ellie ranted, throwing things into her bag for the trip

dina laughed.

ellies head shot up to her, "what? why are you laughing? you asked!" ellie said frustrated, "you're totally jealous, arent you?" dina smirked, "what? jealous? dina shut up! you know im dating cat!" ellie said, growing more and more frustrated by the minute

"okay yeah, but you have liked aime for wayyyy longer then cat" dina remarked, "i dont like aime! i just think shes hot, and literally everyone else with eyes thinks that so shut it" ellie groaned, zipping her bag and running out of her door, dina laughed some more, "wait up!" she said through her laughs

-

the sound of the horses feet clacking on the ground filled the empty forest.

"so howd you sleep?" aime asked, trying to spark a conversation. they had just left, and it was awkward between the two. ellie had been avoiding aime- for the past 2 months- changing patrol partners and running behind corners when she saw her to prevent that spark she felt in her stomach when she smiled at her

"fine" ellie mumbled, "oh, well, better then bad" aime remarked, "mhm" ellie hummed dryly, they rode their horses side by side in silence for a little, "i havent spoken to you in awhile, how's your life been?" aime asked, looking over to the girl, "the same" ellie said, looking down at the horses mane, aime looked away from ellie, down to her horses mane, trying to think of ways to get her ranting like how she use to to her

"can you tell me more about astronomy?" aime asked, thinking back to how she told her about it a few months ago, "uh.. why?" ellie said blankly, "sorry.. just thought you liked that stuff, and its fun to talk about stuff you like, you know?" aime explained, cheeks red embarrassed

aime was confused of why ellie was acting so different from usual, usually ellie would be cracking jokes and puns, telling funny stories, ranting about things she liked.. and ellie did seem to disappear for awhile, did she do something wrong? i mean, ellie wasnt even looking at her, it wasnt weird for ellie to avoid eye contact, she actually did that alot, but she wouldnt even glance in her direction.

while aime was trying to figure it out, ellies mind kept on repeating over and over and over again, aime and daniel stupid kissing and 'i love yous' right before they left.

"hey ellie" aime said, first time speaking in at least 2 hours, "hm?" ellie hummed, "did i do something wrong? because im really sorry if i did, but could you tell what it is that i did? i would never do anything wrong to hurt you on purpose, ever, in my whole life, and i sorta just spent however long we've been out trying to figure it out and i cant" aime ranted, which was sorta out of charater for aime, and aime apologizing for something that isnt her fault made ellie finally look over at her with sad eyes

it wasnt aimes fault that she felt like this, it was her own fault for letting something so small get to her, and she just wasted hours of aimes time for her to try and figure it out. thats what ellie though, and it made her feel like shit.

aime was suprised ellie was looking at her, and confused of ellies emotion displayed on her face- it looked like guilt.

"you didn't do anything aime, dont be sorry, im just tired" ellie said to her, hoping aime would believe she was just tired, but aime didnt believe that it was that, somethings going on

-

"hey, theres the cabin tommy was talking about, like a few miles up ahead, should we take a rest and eat there?" aime asked ellie, looking down at the map unfolded out infront of her while still riding the horse

"yeah, its getting dark" ellie agreed with her, looking up at the clouded sky, it was pretty sunny yesterday, this morning it was partly cloudy, and now all you could see were clouds, aime didnt think too much about it since last she checked they were bright white ones, but as she watched ellie looking up at the sky she did too, now noticing the clouds turning grey

"you think it will start raining before we get there?" aime asked, folding the map away and sliding it in her pocket, "i dunno.. im more worried about how long its gonna last, if you look more east the clouds are really dark, it might be a bad storm and we would have to wait it out" ellie explained her thoughts

"true.. but atleast we're gonna have shelter, could you imagine how bad it would be if we weren't by the cabin?" aime smiled, trying to brighten ellies mood, "yea, that would suck" ellie scoffed, aime, smiled a little bit more, happy that ellie gave more emotion instead of blankly humming as a response

"so the cabins just east?" ellie asked, looking over at aime for an answer, aime still smiling, now smiling because ellie was actually looking at her, maybe she was just tired.

"yeah, no sharp turns or anything i dont think, as long as we keep going straight it'll come into view" aime nodded, "perfect.. straight towards the storm" ellie mumbled, "it probably wont be that bad, ellie" aime tried to reason, but ellie was caught off guard by aime using her name

"y- yeah.." she stuttered

-

ellie and aime pushed the bookshelf infront of the front door of the cabin, their clothes dripping wet, the thunderstorm whistling and lighting jumping, the sound of rain dropplets slamming against the windows

"shit" ellie panted, "its way worse then i thought it'd be" she said, catching her breath, "yea.. its pretty bad" aime agreed, also out of breath, the rain had started about half a mile before they got to the cabin, and when it was in view it started pouring, then it get even worse with hard rain and loud thunder, they had to run and tie up their horsed in a shed, and run into the cabin as fast as they could to prevent getting even more wet, but here they stood, soaked

ellie looked at amie confused, "what? do i look bad with wet hair?" aime asked, pushing the hair that stuck to her face behind her ears, suddenly feeling insecure under ellies gaze

"bad? no you can never look bad, i just didnt exepct you to agree on me with that instead of trying to convince me happy things" ellie explained to the girl, aime smiled at ellies compliment, which ellie didnt even realize she gave

ellie turned her head to look around the cabin, she immediately spotted a mirror, she walked over to it, taking out her tangled bun, pushing her hair behind her ears and started messing with her bangs

aime watched her doing it, if i was a guy id have the biggest crush on her, aime though, walking over to her, standing shoulder to shoulder, ellie stopped fiddling with her hair and started fiddling with her hands looking down

"you're really pretty ellie, cats lucky to date you" aime smiled looking to her, ellies head stayed down, but aime noticed a blush creep onto ellies face

ellie felt like she could collapse at her calling her pretty and using her name, but the though of cat made guilt consume her. how can she date someone but think about anyother person way more? or how can she get crazy butterflies in her stomach when some random girl calls her pretty but doesnt really feel anything when her own girlfriend does?

ellie did like cat, she did, but ellie was starting to think she didnt really like her. she was fun to be around and she made her smile, she also liked how cat didnt care what others thought of their relationship, but everytime her and cat would go by aime, ellie would always pull away from cat, untangling her hands from her, putting them in her pocket or pretending to scrach her arm until aime was out of view.

"did you bring any extra clothes?" aimes voice snapped ellies thoughts away, "uh.." ellie looked up at her, "i dont think i have any pants since they would fit in my bag but everything else yea" ellie thought, "i think i only have a tanktop and boxer breifs" aime mumbled, taking her bag off her shoulders and turning around-

she was too focused on watching ellie she didnt even have time to look around, and ellie was too focused on making herself look presentable to look around

ellie turned around too, the cabin was really small, they already knew that from the outside but it seemed smaller on the inside

there was one big bed, queen size maybe, a small kitchen and a two person dinner table, a big carpet, and a fireplace, there was also a door by the kicthen, probably the bathroom

okay, good, theres a comfy bed for us, aime thought, before walking over to the kicthen, setting her bag on the counter before opening ir and pulling out her clothes. she didnt mind sharing a bed at all, she shared beds with whe friends all the time, even with twin sized ones, it wasnt weird

ellie stood there with widened eyes, the thought of sharing a bed with her made her feel warm, but she shook her head and walked by aime, setting her bag down next to her and looking for her clothes

while ellie was trying to find her socks, she saw in the corner of her eye, aime slipping off her jacket, which was whatever, but then she pulled off her shirt and reached for the buttons of her pants, ellies face went red, she tried to focuse herself on finding the socks in her bag, but her peripheral vision wasn't allowing it, so she mindlessly shuffled through her bag making it seem like she didnt notice

but aime knew ellie noticed her changing, aime watched her face go pink as she slipped off her pants, she smiled to herself, shes so cute, if i was a guy i'd have the biggest crush on her, aime thought to herself

"you finding your clothes okay?" aime teased, ellie felt her face get even hotter, shit shes so hot- "u- uh, yea, just fine" ellie stuttered, moving her back so aime wasnt in her peripheral vision anymore so she could actually focus on finding them

aime got completely nude, as the rain had soaked through her clothes and her underwear and bra were soaked, slipping on white boxer breifs and a white V cut tanktop, her bag was really full and these were the only clothes she could fit as they were thin and tiny

aime walked over to the fireplace, sitting infront of it. once ellie had her clothes layed out, on the counter, she peeked her head thinking aime was still behind her, but she wasnt, so ellie looked over her other shoulder to see her on her knees trying to started a fire, ellie watched as her damp hair dripped down her back, going through her thin white too and down to her shorts, ellie couldnt help but stare at her ass.

aime felt eyes on her, she peeked her head over her shoulder to see ellie immediately moving her head away from her, aime smilied to herseld before going back to the fire

ellie turned her back to face aime, before getting undressed, placing her heavy wet clothes next to aimes, as ellie got changed, she stared at aimes light pink laced bra that layed on the counter, she started to get butterflies as she pictured what aime would look like in it, she shook her head feeling grossed out by herself and turned around now clothed

aime heard ellie walk over to the now lit fire, she moved her head to look up at ellie, aime didnt know it but her face went a shade of pink seeing ellie in a thick strapped white tanktop, it was tight but long, covering half her underwear- her underwear being greyish purple and sort of boxer breifs like aimes exepct hers were a lot shorter.

as ellie sat down next to aime, aime pulled out two cans of chef boyardiee ravioli, she passed ellie a can along with plastic forks, the only noises being heard was the fire crackling and the heavy rain- followed by thunder almost every minute

"so how are you and cat?" aime asked, eating the now warmed ravioli, ellie stayed quiet for a minute, "we're good" ellie shortly replied, aime nodded, "i really like the tattoo she gave you, you look super good with it" aime smiled, making eye contact with her

ellie got red from that (again) "so.. uhm.. how are you and daniel" ellie asked, trying to return the question, but her voice came out bitter, aime didnt realize ellies tone, now stuck in thought if her boyfriend she didnt like, aime shrugged, "i dont know"

ellies eyebrows scrunched, "what do you mean you dont know?" she asked her, watching aime as she stared into the fire, trying to stop her eyes from going down to her cleavage, "uh, its nothing, i do like him but hes just very needy and- touchy" aime tried to explain without outting herself for not liking him at all

"how so?" ellie asked, now invested, she thought they had the perfect relationship, "he basically moved in with me without asking, he complains that i work too much, and like.. he always tries to get me to do it with him, but i don't want to yet" aime said, she whished she wanted to, but everytime he would touch her she just would squirm away and would feel gross

ellie was dumbfounded, "wait? you guys havent done it yet?" she really thought they did it like every night, aime shook her head, "have you and cat?" aime asked, placing the empty can to the side, "maybe" ellie simply replied, aime nodded, "i figured" she said, taking a sip of water

"whats that supposed to mean?" ellie asked, "like every couple of jackson does it im the only one" she shrugged, ellie sipped water, "well, you and kaleb definitely did it" ellie almost mumbled, "what? no we didnt?" aime asked confused, kaleb was her ex boyfriend, they were together for about a year and half, before she found out kaleb had been cheating on her for almost a year.

"uh, you guys were together for over a year" ellie said, confused, "yea, i know, thats why he started doing it with other girls behind my back" aime replied, "he what?" ellie raised her voicd, growing angry at him, even though it was years ago when they broke up, the reason the broke up kaleb and amie told people they both just lost feelings

"oh shit- i didnt mean to say that, ellie please dont tell anyone, please-"

"i wont, but what the fuck?" ellie questioned, "next time i see him hes gonna kiss my fist" ellie said angry, "ellie! its not a big deal and it was years ago, who cares?" aime asked confused of why ellie randomly got mad

"who cares? you dont date someone and go fuck other people because they werent ready for it!"

"no, trust me ellie, its fine, i didnt even really care when i found out, i didnt really like him" aime shrugged, "huh? whyd you date him?" ellie asked, "i- im done talking about this" aime said, unsure of how to reply

they were silent for a few minutes, just staring into the fire- well aime was, and she thought ellie was too, but ellie was staring at her

ellies eyes trailed from aimes eyes, to her nose, to her soft plumpled lips, to her slightly wet neck, almost dry from the rain, to her full chest, to her damp white shirt, her shirt was damp enough that you could see her shape and her nipples from her not wearing a bra, ellies eyes trailed even ferther to aimes bottoms, flickering back to her breasts. her mouth began to water, she thought about what her lips would taste like, what her skin would taste like, how perfectcly her hands would cup her breasts, how her pussy would taste- ellie tried to stop her thoughts but shes been holding them back for too long now, and they kept pouring into her head, ellie wondered what her face would look like, what noises would come out, she thought about her screaming her named-

ellie felt herself grow wet, she couldnt stop it, "im gonna go to the bathroom" ellie mumbled, standing up and walking to the door in the kitchen, she entered the bathroom, it was small, just a toilet, a sink, and a standing shower

ellie locked the door and sat on the toilet cover, she felt butterflies in her stomach, thinking of how aime would look riding her, how her wavy hair would drape over her naked body, ellie pressed her theighs together, "shit" she whispered, allowing her hand to go to her underwear.

"hey" aime smiled, ellie was bright red, i cant believe i just fucking did that, ellie thought to herself, slapping herself in her mind for doing that to not only cat but to aime

"hi" ellie said, standing up looking down at aime who still sat on the ground, "we should probably get to bed?" aime questioned, ellie looked back at the bed, shit i forgot theres only one bed, "uh- yea, probably" ellie nodded, "you okay?" aime asked, "yeah why?" ellie quickly said back, "you just seem, flustered? i don't really know"

aime put out the fire, the moonlight lighting the cabin, and held out her hand for ellie to help pull her up, which ellie did, once aime was up, she didnt let go of ellies hand, she smiled looking up at her, "can i ask a personal question?" aime randomly asked, still holding ellies hand, "uh, sure?" ellie said confused, "how many people have you.. done it with?" aime asked, hoping it wasn't too weird, but they were both 19 so aime wanted to compare their numbers.

"only cat" ellie answered, aime nodded, looked down to her feet, "how many have you?" ellie asked, "uh.." aime hummed, "im not like- gonna judge you or anything" ellie tried to comfort her, which it worked, "none" aime mumbled, "none?" ellie asked, making sure she heard it right, aime nodded, "oh" ellie said, which caused aime to look up at her, "i didnt mean that to sound like i was judging or- something- i meant oh as in just like that i was suprised" ellie corrected

aime laughed, "its okay, you can judge, ive had three boyfriends, im 19, and still a virgin"

"three?" ellie asked confused, she only knew of two, "oh, yeah, it was before you came to jackson" she shortly explained, "who? do i know them?" ellie asked, "uh.. lucas, but it was only like for 4 months and we were 13 so it doesnt actually really count" aime explained, which caused ellie to laugh

"well why havent you?" ellie questioned, "just dont want to, anytime the touch me i feel gross" aime shrugged like it was normal, "uh.. okay?" ellie said confused, "and if im being honest.. dicks are disgusting" aime whispered, which caused ellie to laugh again, "what? first of all, ive never heard a straight girl say that, second of all, did you just swear?!"

aime laughed, "oh shut up! everybody thinks theyre gross they just dont say it!" aime dragged ellie behind her as she made her way to the bed, ellie giggled as she crawled into the bed with her

"i should of brought a blanket" aime mumbled, the bed only has a sheet and two pillows, the blanket was nowhere to be seen

"yeah? how would you have brought that" ellie questioned, "uhh.. i would of figured it out!" aime said with a smile, they were both of their sides facing eachother, "yeah right" ellie laughed

ellie kept on flickering her eyes to how pretty her body looked, she needed to stop she moved and layed on her back

it was silent for awhile, ellie thought aime went to sleep and aime didnt know if ellie was awake or not, "ellie?" aime whispered, the rain still pouring, ellie turned her head and looked at aime, suprised she was awake, "yeah?" ellie asked, "im cold" aime said, her hands on her arms trying to warm herself up, ellie looked down at her and noticed her nipples poking through from being cold- "uh.. me too" ellie said, unsure of how to respond to that

"can we.. you know.." aime tried to say without saying it, "huh?" ellie asked clueless, "uh, i dont mean to sound weird or anything, i only mean it platonically but.." aime said nervously, ellie finally realized what she was getting at

ellie opened her arms up motioning for her to go there, aime smiled at the girl, and scooted till she was presseda against ellies said, she then rested her cheek against ellies chest, wrapped an arm around her waist, ellie closed her arms around her, hugging her gently

they layed in silence for a few minutes, aime warmed up a bit but her legs were cold, so she lifted her knee and placed it between ellies legs, ellie almost instinctively brought her hand to aimes leg, just above her knee, and pulled it up more so that her knee was only a few inches away from her heat, aime moved her hips to try and get closer to ellie, but since they were already touching ellie, and since aime's hips were in between ellies theigh, it only made aime's core brush against it, unexpected butterflies swormed aime but not in her stomach, and it felt good.

she sat in silence, her mind repeating how she felt when she moved her hips from a few minutes ago, she opened her eyes and looked up at ellie, but ellies eyes were closed and seemingly asleep. so aime pressed herself to ellie theigh, and moved her hips up, she let out a shakey breath, suddenly turned fully on- this is the first time she was every turned on with someone else in the room.

aime's eyes looked to ellies body, before she sunk her hips back down slowly, causing her to let out another breath as her clit rubbed against ellies skin, slightly gripping onto ellies fabric

she stopped herself, what the fuck am i doing? im straight, i have a boyfriend, and ellie had a girlfriend. what the fuck is wrong with me? i guess since daniels always in the house i never have time to touch myself so now that hes gone i wanna? she tried to reason

"whyd you stop?" ellies voice achoed the room as aime froze- "hm?" aime hummed, "you know what i said" ellie smirked looking down at the girl, but the girl had her eyes closed hoping she was dreaming completely embarassed, "stop what?" aime asked trying to sound confused, "don't play dumb" ellie said, moving her hand from aimes leg to her chin, she pulled her chin to look at her, aime looked anywhere but her eyes

"look at me" ellie ordered, aime scooted herself up more, hovering over ellie face to finally look at her in the eyes, they didnt speak anything, the sexual tension was so thick you could cut it with scissors

aime couldnt help herself, she was so turned on by ellie, her body, her face, and her voice, she without any thoughts slammed her lips into ellies, ellie immediately kissed back, putting all the anger she had for herself and for daniel into the kiss, ellie had her hands onto ellies waist, and aime just did what felt right, aime had one leg outside of ellies, the other in between ellies two, her hands holding ellies face

ellie leaned herself up, moving her hands more towards aimes hips, pushing them to help her move agianst them like how she was doing eairler, aime let out a moan through the kiss, which made ellie melt

aime started grinding her hips more to ellies theigh, "do you want me?" ellie grunted, aime only hummed in response, "i need words" ellie said, making lovebites on her jaw, "mh- i- i want you ellie" she moaned, she never felt this good in her life, she felt like she was in heaven, "good girl" ellie whispered

ellie gripped aimes hips, causing them to stop, she brought her lips back to aimes lips, kissing her with tongue, aime tried to move her hips but ellie was stronger then her and she couldnt

aime brought her hand to herself, trying to rub herself but ellie pulled away and gripped her wrist, "did i say you could?"

"n- no" aime whined, ellie licked her lips before she brought her face to aimes cleavge, she kissed it a few times before she pulled away, pulling aimes shirt over her head, ellie felt herself grow even wetter at the sigh, she stared in awe for a moment, before she started to taste her skin and message her boobs

"ellie- please" aime moaned wanting more, as much ellie wanted to tease aime more, she was teasing herself, ellie pulled away, looking at the marks she just created,

ellie grabbed aimes hips and lifted her up, before pulling her leg up too, and pushing her to sit back down on her so now she was straddling her instead of being in between her legs

ellie then brought her middle and ring finger to her clothed slit, rubbing her slowly, watching as she squirmed, she could feel her wetness seeping through the fabric, "youre so wet" ellie grunted, she moved her hand and pulled the waistband of aimes boxers, she sunk her hand into them, letting her wet lips come in contact with the pads of her fingers, "is this all for me babe?" ellie moaned, "only you" aime moaned

ellie began to drag her two fingers up and down her slit, as they slopply kissed, "i need you in me ellie" aime moaned, those words alone made ellie moan, so she sunk her fingers deep inside of her, aime bit her lip muffling her moan, "let me hear you" ellie moaned, jamming her fingers even deeper then before, aime let her jaw hang as she moaned, and began to grind her hips onto ellies fingers, "you look so pretty on me" ellie whispered as she began to pick up her paste

"tell me how good it feels" ellie moaned, starting to curl her fingers, "mmpfh- it- it feels so good ellie!" aime whinned, "good girl" ellie whimpered, "i- im gonna" aime tried to make out a sentance, but she cut herself off with whine, her stomach tightened, she arched her back onto ellies fingers, but ellie kept on pumping, overstimulating her as she dripped onto her fingers

"you did such a good job" ellie complimented, pulling her fingers out, aime didnt know what was to happen next, but ellie shoved her two fingers into aimes mouth, watching as aime complied, sucking on her fingers and twirling her tongue around them

"good girl" ellie whispered, she pulled her fingers out of her mouth, ellie pulled aime and turned her around so now aime was on bottom, ellie pulled off her underwear and pulled off aimes

she pressed her lips to hers, making out with eachother there tongues tangling. ellie then moved so that her left leg was under aimes, and that her right leg was over her others, pressing their clits together, aime let out a whine as ellie started to grind, there slits grinding against eachother

as aime gripped onto ellies leg, she leaned her head back and let out a whine, "fuck- ellie" she moaned, moving her hips grinding along with her, "daniel could never make you feel like this, huh?" ellie groaned, "no, only you can ellie" aime moaned, bringing her hand to ellies tanktop, lifting it up she could see her body

"thats it- good girl" ellie moaned, aime felt as if her ears had been blessed with the sound of her moaning, she wanted to get more of her noises out, aime brought her hand to her boobs, squeezing them and messaging them, "ugh- fuck- you're so hot" she moaned, leaning her head back grinding harder, "im gonna cum ellie" aime was able to pant

ellie felt her stomach tighten at her words, she rolled her hips once more before her and aimes moans were combained, ellie leaned onto aime with their chests pressed together, ellies head in the crook of her neck, both panting together.

[critterpdf]

we all got the go ahead to post our @heroshotzine pieces!!! so here's ellis doing some repairs on their favorite chicken/frog/whatever-animal-you-want-to-call-autobombs

check the twitter for the link to leftover sales!!! :^]

[knifebaby3000]

the wind has carried us too far, it's blown the moon down

[bxlladxnnabxtch]

Can you write Abby x Female reader with overstimulation and maybe fighting for dominance 🙇‍♀️ thank you

Abby Anderson x Reader

Her gun is neon pink and bedazzled and no one can tell me otherwise. Thanks for all the support on the last post!

Explicit content ahead!

Warnings: Swearing, teasing, fingering, getting pinned down (does that need a warning?), Overstimulation, the knee thing (this needs a warning), crying (in a good way), soft Abby towards the end.

~

Her lips collided with yours, hot and heavy as Abby held your wrists in an iron grip, forcing you to stay trapped against the wall as she pressed against you. You pressed your lips harder against hers, pushing your head off the wall as you leaned into her, desperate to take control back.

She pulled away, slightly breathless as she looked at you with an amused smirk on her face. “You done yet?” She asked, tilting her head slightly. You looked at her with determination, letting a teasing smile grace your features as you let out a soft laugh. “Not even close.” You whispered, leaning off the wall slightly before she shoved you back on. She let out a laugh at your defiance, shaking her head slightly at how childish you were being.

Her demeanor changed when you hooked your foot around the back of hers, throwing her off balance as you seized the opportunity, pushing her back on the bed. She let out a startled curse as she was thrown back, and you climbed on top of her to stop her from getting up, pinning her wrists to the sheets like she’d done with yours.

She let out a disappointed sigh, staring up at you. “You’re not very good at this.” You teased, eyes flickering between her eyes and lips. You leaned in, a smile on your face from the small victory as you watched her eyes trail you.

You hovered inches away from her, leaning back when she leaned up to try and kiss you. “Ah, ah” you tutted, watching the way she licked her lips and let out a breath of frustration. “My tur- AH” A yell left you when you were flipped over suddenly, your weight shifting faster than you could blink.

Abby pinned your hands above you, a knowing smile on her face as she watched you process the compromising position you were in. She let her other hand rest on your hip as you tried to push her off of you again, only for her to force you down further into the sheets. “What was that about not being good at this?” She asked cockily, laughing sadistically as she watched you squirm.

You tried to push up again, a futile attempt at your expense as you realized you went nowhere. You swallowed thickly, as Abby’s hand started to rub slow circles into your hip, teasing you. Your breathing became heavy, and as you looked up at Abby the look in her eyes told you that you were not getting out of this.

You knew Abby was physically stronger than you, hell anyone could tell that she could pick you up and throw you like a ragdoll if she wanted too. As you laid beneath her, you became well aware of that fact as she started down at you like she was gonna eat you alive, a raging fire behind her eyes.

You shuddered as Abby’s hand trailed slowly towards your waistband, the girl dragging it out as long as she could. She leaned closer to you, hovering above you as she watched how you reacted like a hawk, taking in every detail as your expression shifted the closer she got to your waistband.

You released a shaky breath when her hand finally dipped beneath it, Abby taking the opportunity to crash her lips against yours while your mind was focused on her hand slowly drifting south. You tried to kiss back, but your mind went offline when her fingers started moving back and forth across your clit. Your back arched, and you moaned against Abby’s lips, the girl groaning in response to your noises. She pulled away, hand still tracing along your clit as you whined, the girl pushing your hands further into the mattress as you struggled against her.

She watched you for a while, fingers deftly working their way across your clit as she watched your façade begin to crack. Your moans became more high pitched, your skin flushing an adorable shade of red, and it was all for Abby. The girl couldn’t even begin to process the fact that you wanted her as much as she wanted you, so seeing you spread open and so breakable sent her into a near frenzy.

“Abby-“ You begged, voice trembling as you threw your head back, another broken moan sounding from your lips as her fingers started teasing your slit. Your hips bucked, and the only thing more embarrassing than submitting to Abby was the fact you couldn’t fucking control yourself. She was like an abyss, swallowing up your thoughts with every touch, tease and sound until all that was left was the unwavering desire to just let her have her way with you. Even as you tried to fight her control over you, her fingers plunging into your core had you melting against her, finally giving in to the unrelenting girl.

Abby’s heart was pumping a million times a minute watching you finally melt against her, her palm coming up to grind against your clit as you let out a cry. Her cheeks were flushed, breathing ragged as she fucked you on her fingers.

You could feel the mess you were making of her hand, but with the searing pleasure stirring in your gut, you couldn’t find it in you to care. Abby didn’t seem to either as her fingers curled inside of you, the pressure of the action making your thighs tense.

Abby let out a frustrated huff, parting your thighs as she forced her knee between them, leaving you at the mercy of her unwavering fingers. The action sparked a heat inside of you, pushing you further towards euphoria. Abby seemed to notice this, her thrusts beginning to speed up as your hips grinded into her hand. You repeated her name like a mantra, the syllables coming out in broken whines as the intensity of your orgasm crept up on you.

“Abby! Abby- oh fuck-“ You practically sobbed, Abby paying no attention to your pleas as she never slowed her unrelenting pace. Your core snapped, and your whole body went rigid before falling apart. You clamped down on Abby’s fingers, the girl letting out a curse as you jerked and moaned under her.

Your release ripped through you with a vengeance, washing away any coherent thought you previously had. You were left quaking, tears welling in your eyes. Abby didn’t stop. Still splitting you open with her fingers, she leaned her forehead against yours, feeling your hot breath on her face as you panted desperately for air in the aftershocks of your orgasm.

The sensitivity set in, your legs instinctively trying to close, only to be kept open by Abby’s knee. She laughed softly, watching intently as your tears slipped down your cheeks. “You still think I’m not good at this?” She asked softly, her tone sickly sweet. You didn’t answer, you couldn’t answer, the only thought in your brain being Abby, Abby, Abby.

Your head was spinning, body on autopilot as your hips tried desperately to jerk away from her hand, but Abby didn’t falter, hand locked in place as she fucked you. You could feel your wetness soaking through your panties, and against your better judgement, you looked down.

You watched her thrust up into your aching cunt, the slick noises you made as you gushed on her fingers made a needy whine fall from your lips. “You like watching me fuck you?” She asked, a teasing lilt to her voice. You looked back up at her, taking in just how breathless she seemed from watching you fall apart on her fingers. “That’s right, eyes on me sweetheart.” She whispered, more to herself than you.

Her words sent a shock to your core nonetheless, a choked whimper being ripped out of you. More tears fell down your cheeks, the salty liquid mixing with the sweat coating your hairline. The pressure in your gut started increasing again, this time much more intense, almost painful. You trembled under the force of it, praying to whatever God you could think of that’d you’d still be conscious by the end of this.

When it hit, the world seemed to stop for a second, you were so high on cloud nine you couldn’t tell which way was up anymore as your eyes rolled back, thighs shaking. You dug your nails into Abby’s hand, desperately clawing at anything that would ground you. But as you laid there, violent trembles wracking through your body and throwing it through the wringer, Abby was there to sooth you through it with soft shushes and gentle kisses.

You hiccupped as you came down, Abby’s hand coming to a stop as she released your hands, coming down to cup your cheek. You looked up at her through blown pupils and glazed eyes, panting as you tried to get your breathing under control. She tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, looking at you in adoration.

“I take it back.”

She was caught off guard, brow furrowing in confusion.

“Take back what, honey?”

“I was wrong, you are good at this.”

[saintgoths]

joel miller the type of guy lana would sing about

[anxiously-awaiting]

crawling on my hands and knees. one ref out of a billion done and it only took like a month

[s-4pphics]

dial. 5 (e.w.)

wc;cw: 3.9k, fratadjacent!ellie, all ocs r black coded<3, angst, weed, nun crazy… yet😝😝😝😝

SEVEN MONTHS LATER 

You’re finally a fucking senior! Joy to the queer world! 

After barely surviving your last term due to heartbreak and an intense depressive episode, the future ahead of you brightened the second you stepped into your aunt's home. Your summer was the highlight of your year… maybe even your life. What had you done in your past life to be blessed with such an amazing auntie? 

She took you any and everywhere you wanted to go. You never imagined Iceland would be the home country you wished to be born in. The mountains, the bright green grass, the fucking waterfalls you only dreamt of diving into. You became a mermaid the second you and Niah jumped into the Reykjadalur River. 

Every fiber of your being rejuvenated after your much needed break, and you were ready to get through your last year without chips on your shoulder. Fuck everyone from your past!

Moving in was always the worst part of the year. As much as you loved decorating, you never fully threw yourself into it until your third week on campus. Your fairy lights would have to sit in their box until you got your schedule in order. 

You and Niah trekked back and forth from your dorm to your auntie’s truck, hauling in box after box until your arms burned. Your back was already killing you. 

“Fucking son of a bitch— “

You interrupted Niah’s exhausted exclamations, “Swear ja— “

“Bitch, fuck you! I'm grown!” She dropped the last box near your work desk before slumping onto your chair. 

“Alright, my loves!” Your aunt entered your shared room with bags of new bedding. “This is the last of it. Need help making your bed?” 

You blankly stared at your aunt, and she smiled slyly, “Don’t look at me like that! You’re my baby!” 

You shook your head, snagging the neatly wrapped blankets from her hands, tossing them to the floor and engulfing her in the tightest hug you could muster. 

“I love you,” you mumbled into her shoulder. 

“I love you, baby. You’re almost done, you got this,” she kissed your cheek a dozen times before pulling back to plant more on your forehead. And nose. 

“Want me t’walk you out?” 

“I got it. Unpack and get comfy. I’ll see you in a couple months, okay?” She bopped your nose and you nodded, embracing her one last time before seeing her out. Niah gave her a goodbye hug and watched her dodge exhausted bodies down the hallway. 

Niah helped you set up your mattress topper and stuffed your pillow cases before your phone vibrated in your pocket. 

“Dina’s having din-din downstairs in a feeew,” you sing-songed, “Come with us?” You gave Niah the best puppy dog eyes you could muster, her lips pursing as she glared at you. 

“Girl… Y’all always wanna do shit when I’m fucking tired— “

“Pleeease.”

She sighed heavily before conceding, “If that bitch show up, I swear to god— “

“Dina wouldn’t let that happen,” you defended. 

“Oh, she wouldn’t? Really?” Niah scowled. 

“Stop,” you huffed in agitation, “Nothing that happened was her fault. She did what she could at the time.” 

Niah and Dina never explained to you why their relationship rifted, but you could only assume that it was due to you and Ellie falling out. They haven’t spoken since the beginning of summer, according to Niah, and it upset you greatly. You all used to fall asleep on the phone together every night during your scheduled breaks, and now you were hesitant to have them in the same room. 

You were never against Dina and Ellie being friends, even after she blew up on you; They grew up right next to each other, for fucks sake! They’ve always had a strong bond, and not even Dina’s loyalty to you would ruin that. Niah would just have to understand. 

Your best friend rolled her eyes, but dropped the tensity in her shoulders. 

“I’m not eating.” 

You pouted. 

“I don’t care about that,” she pointed at your stuck-out lip, “Get my purse.” 

The booth you shared with your friends in the dining hall was tense. 

You awkwardly forked your pasta while Niah and Dina stared at each other. You didn’t notice any hatred in their gaze, but the fire was there without a doubt. 

This was the worst dinner ever. 

“Sooo…” you twirled your noodles, “How was your summer, Dee!” 

“Fine.” 

Your bright smile dropped at her empty response, but you tried again. 

“Cool! Did anything exciting happen? I saw you and Jess traveled a bit!”

“We did.” 

Your eyes flickered between your two friends, their eyes distant. 

“Guys, c’mon! This is so stupid!” You nearly threw your fork on your plate. “Why are y’all even mad at each othe— “

“I’m not fucking mad— “

“Ask her that— “

Both friends brushed you off in their fit of rambles, and you exploded. 

“CAN Y’ALL STOP!” 

Neighboring students began to stare at all three of you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. 

“I don’t fucking care about Ellie anymore! I’m over it! It’s a new fucking year and I wanna move on, but I can’t if y’all keep bringing it up every time you see each other!” Niah tried to interrupt, but you cut her off with a stern finger. 

“I know why you’re mad and I appreciate you for caring, but Dina didn’t do anything wrong! You’re taking your anger out on the wrong person!” You took some breaths through your nose to calm yourself.

“I don't wanna see y’all fighting over this bullshit anymore. I mean it! Or we’re…” you looked between them with a harsh glare. “We’re gonna have a problem.” 

Moments of thick silence passed before you heard a gentle snicker. Followed by a snort. 

Boisterous laughter escaped both your friends while you stared in confusion. 

“What’s so funny?” 

Niah clapped her hands in hysteria. 

“Who the fuck are you tryna intimidate— “

“She pulls one little prank and suddenly her balls dropped. How cute! —“

Your head jerked in Dina’s direction, “Wait—” 

“Oh! You thought I didn’t know about that shit? Seriously?” Dina wiped away tears, “You’re nasty, by the way.” 

Heat washed over your entire body at her smirk and arched brow, “My baby’s a fucking freak! Who woulda thought.” 

Niah muttered whores around her straw with a shake of her head. 

“… You still got the vid, or.” 

“DINA!” 

More laughter erupted from your table, and your arms folded across your chest. Dina’s hand met Niah’s from across the table in a high five. 

“She does still have it, not gon’ lie— “

“SHUT UP, NIAH!” 

The second Ellie saw you, Niah, and Dina laughing through the windows of the canteen, she hit the fastest fucking U-turn of the century. Her appetite dissipated in an instant and she booked it towards the parking lot and into her car. 

She hated the physical reaction that took over her body whenever she saw you, the only thought on her mind being run, run, run. 

After her last… encounter with you and fucking Abby, she made a request to move to the complete opposite side of campus. She packed all her belongings and was out of her and Jesse’s shared place in the nick of time, surrounded by faces she wasn’t used to. The thought of switching schools raced through her mind days after it happened, but when she realized that you hadn’t had plans to broadcast your porno across the campus’ Snapchat, she was at ease.

At least for a little bit. 

Telling Dina and Jesse was, by far, one of the worst parts of this whole experience. 

She hadn’t mustered up the courage to do it until two months later when Abby brushed past her with a mere nod of acknowledgment at a house party. Her hazy mind thought that coming clean would erase some of the guilt she felt, but it was all for naught. 

All she got was a theoretical pie thrown at her face when both her best friends' exploded into the biggest laughing fit, she’d ever seen from them. They knew she deserved all the smoke she got from you and Abby after everything she did, and despite her attempts at being prideful, she knew she did too. 

You never came along when Ellie was around for the remainder of the term, and she didn’t know whether to be thankful or full of fucking shame. It became a bit of both overtime. 

She’d only seen you once after the sextape fiasco. It was during move-out week: your face was droopy and tired—probably due to finals— as you and your family hauled box after box into a truck. 

Ellie hadn’t had a reaction to anyone like that since her first fucking girlfriend. The sweaty hands, the swirls in her tummy, the jitters of her fingers. It all came back to her and she wanted to vomit. 

Looking as cuddly as you did that day shouldn’t be allowed. Ellie knew she didn’t deserve a hug from you, but she allowed her imagination to take over anyway, her subconscious completely engulfed by your scent and forgiveness. 

Ellie’s head rested on her steering wheel, her head banging against it and accidentally sounding the horn. 

Ellie’s never been in a relationship with someone who wasn’t selfish. She allowed people to take and take and take so much from her in the past, gladly accepting their overstepping and lack of boundaries if it meant she received their affection. It went on for so long until it abruptly halted and left her destroyed and alone. Her heart iced over after her last relationship went up in flames, and she vowed to keep it that way. If there’s no love, there’s no heartbreak. 

She thought she could do that to someone else. Prey on someone as sweet and comforting as you. 

But it didn’t work. You fucking cracked her. You’re a witch, and your pussy is godsent. 

Ellie brought out that side of you and she regretted it (despite the jerks in her clit every time she reminisced about your glittery tears), and she owed you the most respectable apology she’s ever given.

Ellie reached into her hoodie pocket and pulled up her phone, messages filled with students asking if she’s around to sell. She ignored them all and searched for your contact that she selfishly never deleted. 

Her thumb hovered over the unblock button. 

Ellie’s heart is racing and she thinks she might pass out. 

She got used to hearing the small ding from the bell of the Starbucks entrance that she hardly ever looks up at who’s waltzing in. 

When she heard you and your best friend’s laughter, she almost dropped to the floor to hide behind the service counter. She was not fucking prepared to see you. Nausea and butterflies stirred in her gut at the sound of your giggles. 

H-Have a good day, she cringed when her voice cracked, scribbling the customer's names on their cup before passing it down to the mixing station. 

The minutes that passed felt like years, endless seconds of anticipation of seeing you face to face for the first time in months. Her eyes scattered to the end of the lines where the two of you stood every two seconds, observing how you inched up the line. 

Until the two of you stood in front of her, Niah’s intense glare searing through her skin and shaking her bones. She shakily asked for both your orders, but you took over, answering for you and your roommate with your classic smile. You’re too sweet for your own good; She couldn’t imagine being this cordial in public with someone who did what she did. Said what she said. 

You looked fucking adorable: hair twisted, dangly earrings, glossy lips. Her hands wouldn’t stop as she scribbled your name on your cup and cake pop baggie. 

Niah was fucking grilling her, and rightfully so. Ellie’s shocked she didn’t reach over and strangle her with her bare hands. Her presence was a threat on its own, Jesus Christ. 

You swiped your student ID and yanked a stiff Niah by the arm over to the pick-up line, the wind sitting in Ellie’s lungs finally releasing. 

She peered over at the two of you as she collected the rest of the orders from caffeine-withdrawal students, anxiety pitting in her gut when she watched you snag your cup and bag, reading the messy scribbles she left at the bottom.  

hi. can we talk when you’re ready?

You had enough courtesy to hide the baggie from an already pissed Niah, and she was grateful. It gave her an inkling of hope before you frowned, your eyes surprised, then confused. Then angry. 

Ellie almost cried at the scoff that left your mouth when you shot her a pissed glare, before you snatched your dessert from its encasing, crumpled the paper and threw it into the trash by the exit. She watched the two of you leave with a heavy heart, embarrassment overtaking her when you refused to look back. 

Ellie couldn’t shake the feeling that you experienced this same disappointment whenever she shut you down previously, and it made her feel even worse. 

Ellie started seeing you everywhere you went after that: in the quad, on the way to class, even in the fucking library (a place she never went!), but you never seemed to notice her. She hadn’t been in the study center since she was a fucking sophomore, and she instantly remembered why when she caught a glimpse of you in your own world, headphones on as you scribbled down your notes. 

Remorse flooded her gut when she remembered the time, she dismissed your proposal of listening to a playlist you made for her a couple days after you fucked a couple times. She didn’t even know what artists you liked. 

Even after all this time, she refused to forget all the times she upset you, intentionally or not. 

The twisted part of her brain was already prepared to march over and speak with you, but she had enough sense to overpower her selfish desires. 

She managed to get past you without hassle, rushing onto the elevator to find her usual spot in the second-floor corner. It was her safe place whenever she came in here; She’ll never forget when she and Dina tripped balls atop the beanbags pressed up against the window. 

Going to the library was pointless; The thought of you and your sprinkled cupcakes dominated her mind for the rest of her study session. 

It was the best part of the entire year. 

The month of October has its own presence: it’s grand and dark, gloomy, fun. Evil. You would never wear bright orange on a normal day, but during October, you might as well be a pumpkin! 

All your friends were already in the Halloween spirit, baking and decorating some of the strongest edibles you’ve ever smelt in your damn life. You were shocked that none of Jesse’s neighbors called to complain about the loud scent. 

“You wanna hit?” 

You peered up at Abby’s invitation puff from her blunt with a polite smile and a shake of your head, “You know I have to drive that one home,” You pointed out an already wobbling Niah in the kitchen. 

Abby chuckled around her next puff, “They’re gonna go fucking crazy with those.” 

“I’m scared,” You huffed, “Niah literally turns into a fucking potato when she’s high. I can never get her to move anywhere.” 

Abby giggled at your eye roll while she ashed. 

Running into Abby after what happened last year was much different than you expected. 

After you two went your separate ways at the party, you assumed she would never want to see you again, blow off any invitations you had to hang out, go back to fucking Ellie like nothing happened, but she did nothing of the sort. 

She always waved you over when she saw you sitting by yourself, greeted you with the brightest smiles and warmest hugs, texted you first. She was everything you could’ve wanted from someone. From a partner. 

So why didn’t you feel that spark whenever she looked at you with those pretty, blue eyes? 

You could always be honest with Abby, so bringing up your predicament was easy. She took it with a grain of salt and told you not to worry because she’s still a whore. It’s college! Her energy always calmed you. 

Niah’s weight plopping down next to you broke your trance. She slumped onto your shoulder with a weak giggle of it’s October 3rd. 

You stared down at her blankly, “It’s the tenth, bonehead— “

“Shhh, shh, i-it’s October 3rd,” she sloppily pressed her index finger to your mouth. 

Abby’s laughter rang from next to you like bells in winter. 

Ellie was… sad. And felt like a fucking loser. 

She’d been lazily lying on her couch with her dab in hand, scrolling through Instagram and watching 5-minute crafts when she received a notification from Dina. 

She felt a subtle crack in her chest when she saw her best friend caption the post the ‘best time of the year 👻’. She was dawned in her usual witch's hat while Jesse had a pumpkin carving imprinted on his shirt, both decorating what she assumed to be laced sugar cookies. 

Her heart shattered when she scrolled through the slides and saw pictures of a slumped Niah, Abby with her tongue out and middle finger up, and you, eyes gentle and smile doll-like with two peace signs by your face. You looked so cozy under the yellow glow of the decorative lamp. So comfortable in the place she used to call home. 

… She’s never not received an invite to decorate edibles. Why was a lump growing in her throat? Her high was fucked. 

Another notification from Jesse’s Snap highlighted across the top of her screen. Her thumb tapped it without hesitation, and some tears fell from her eyes to her cheeks. 

It was a clip of you, Dina, and Jesse squeezing out icing from a tube onto a loudly snoring Niah’s face, snickering softly when the traces of sugar didn’t go where you wanted. 

Stick it up her nose!

Ellie’s body tensed when she recognized Abby’s low whisper in the background. That was definitely the final nail in her coffin. 

The Snap ended with Niah’s eyes peeling open like a zombie and your heavenly laughter. 

Ellie dropped her phone and sat up, resting her head atop the back of the couch, palms digging into her teary eyes. She tried to convince herself that she was angry, pissed the fuck off, ready to fight everybody, even her closest friends. But she wasn’t at all. 

She was lonely and sad, and no one was there to comfort her. 

Class dragged on the entire week leading up to Halloweekend. 

Your shoulders were heavy and slumped from exhaustion. What kind of professor assigns projects the week before Halloween? They’re pretending as if they’ve never been students before; They know you’re all getting faded soon! 

You and Niah were grinding in the library the entire week, perfecting your papers and presentations for the following week. You didn’t want anything to ruin this weekend. Distractions, be gone! 

You’ve dedicated a couple hours each day to prepping your costumes for Friday and Saturday. The excitement to adorn your fairy getup was nearly bursting through your eyes. You decorated your wings with sequins and glitter, made your own flower crown, and designed your own spirit guide by snipping and re-stuffing a Squishmallow. 

You were a little too antsy to start the weekend; Niah almost called Dina to help tape you down to a chair. 

You bolted down the crosswalk after your scheduled library visit, a bright grin on your face at the thought of showcasing your designs for your costume. Dina and Jesse are your best critics. 

You turned the corner and hit a hard chest, almost falling to the floor before a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist. 

“Lookin’ for rings?” 

Your smile widened at the all too familiar voice, “What does that mean?” 

Abby separated from you with a gentle smile, pointing at your sky-blue sweatshirt, “Blue sweater… running… Sonic— “

“Oh fuck!” You paused before a lightbulb appeared atop your head. “Oh fuck! Sonic would’ve been such a cute costume— “

“Still stressing Niah out?” Her brow arched. 

“Of course! Dina and Jes are about t’get the same treatment!” You rushed past Abby, throwing her a wild wave, “I'll see you on Friday bitch!”

Her airy laugh aired behind you before you eased past departing students and into the apartment lobby. 

It’s almost impressive how much your mood can deplete due to one person. 

You instantly recognized Ellie’s back muscles over her muscle-tee, her tattoo sleeve completely exposed as she murmured to the receptionist. The bun at the back of her head was coming loose with each nod of approval she gave. 

Anger and embarrassment and sadness battled for power in your gut as you glared through her skin and down to her bones. And she must’ve felt it.

She spun at the sound of the door shutting, and her eyes immediately glossed over when they locked with yours. She looked like a deer caught in headlights before she whispered hey.

You ignored and looked behind her and greeted the familiar receptionist, “Hey, is Jesse home?” 

“Yeah, babe! You just missed him— “

“W-Wait— “

“Cool, thanks,” You didn’t hesitate to book it for the second entrance, Ellie’s urgent calls of your name ringing behind you. You heard her following you down the hall like a horse. 

She called your name out louder, “Fuck, wait, wait— “

You frantically pressed the up button on the elevator but it was for naught. 

You felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, “Hey— “

“Ellie, don’t fuckin’ touch me, I’m serious,” you spat. 

Her touch dropped, her hands raising in the air, “Okay, okay, I’m sorr— “

“You’re sorry? Really?” You scoffed. “Fuck off, bro.” 

… Where the fuck was this elevator?! You were this close to holding the button down until the doors opened. 

Ellie sighed, “No, I’ve… I've been meaning to talk to you. Can I— “

“I don’t give a fuck about anything you’re saying, genuinely,” You harshly turned to glare into her eyes. Her gorgeous, green eyes that, for the first time, seemed so soft for you. Desperate, and not lustful. 

She didn’t seem to care about your protests, “I know I fucked up and I was… awful— “

The dings sounding from the elevator sounded like alarms. 

“Ellie, please, I’m begging you, just leave me the fuck alone,” Rageful tears flooded in your eyes. “Get the fuck away from me! Just g-go away!” 

Ellie’s small glimmer of hope died in her orbs, her body flinching at your tone as she peered to the floor with red cheeks. 

The doors peeled open after what seemed like a lifetime and you threw yourself between them, slamming the fourth-floor button like your life depended on it. You refused to look at Ellie as the doors shut, your heart pounding in your chest as you heaved, your hands resting on your knees. 

You vowed that absolutely nothing could ruin your weekend, but why was Ellie’s flushed cheeks and sniffly nose almost enough to make you fold? 

Almost. 

okkkaaaaayyyyy im switching shit up fr so excited to write the next part stay with me yall lemme cook lemme coooook

taggie waggies love yall down :3 @dyk3ang3l @iced-metal @sawaagyapong @kittnii @mariefilms @villainousbear @pick-me-up-im-scared @dragonasflowercrown @elsmissingfingers @bugaboodarling @freakumfilm @robinismywifee @ohitsjordynn @womenofarcane @inf3ct3dd @nil-eena @kaispaws @letsreadsomesins-shallwe @yuckyfucky @machetegirl109 @ximtiredx @mattm1964 @liabadoobee @tfuuka @aouiaa @lastofvenus @iove-bbb

teaser, one, two, three, four

[softpascalito]

I To Dig a Grave I Chapter 2 I

Summary: Twenty-one years after the outbreak, you come to Wyoming looking for something and end up in Jackson after a stranger saves your life.

But he doesn't stay a stranger.

Turns out Joel Miller is looking for something too. It feels like a fresh start. But when bad luck seems to follow you, Joel is the only one to turn to, forcing both of you to confront your feelings about your pasts- and each other.

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader Rating: Explicit / MDNI Word count: 7k+ Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Age Difference, Smut, Explicit Content, Grief/Mourning, Mental Health Issues, Canon-Typical Violence, Chose not to use Archive Warnings, Tags to be added

AO3 LINK // Series Masterlist // Playlist

notes: i can't tell you all how i excited i am to get this fic going! thank you for the lovely comments on the first chapter, i promise there is a lot of cool stuff to come!

this fic will deal with heavy topics. please note that it doesn't use archive warnings and tags will be added as we go in order to avoid spoilers. each chapter will have detailed warnings in the end notes on ao3.

Chapter 2 - The Patrol

‘Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is no other version of this story.’  - Richard Silken, The Worm King’s Lullaby

There is a thin sheet of ice covering the streams that are heading downwards. It crunches under the hooves of their horses that dutifully carry them up the hill and past the gas station. Joel is glad that it's Tommy next to him. He's more tense than he's felt in ages, a gnawing feeling in his stomach that has little to do with the skipped breakfast and a lot with the worry that is etched into the frown between his brows. He wouldn't want anyone to see him like this, much less try and calm him down, something he knows is a lost battle.

“They might be fine, Joel,” his younger brother says gently, just loud enough for him to hear. Tommy thinks there will be no response until one comes, a little too late for it to not be premeditated.

“She talked about leaving, sometimes. They would be stupid enough to run off-”

“And leave Jackson?” Tommy raises a brow. “Maria said their house looked normal, all their things still in place. They wouldn't be stupid enough to leave all that behind.”

Joel doesn't want to hear it. He knows, better than anyone. Knows that you wouldn't just leave, not without saying goodbye to the children you'd come to care about so much. Would you leave him without a goodbye?

He almost hopes you would. Because if you didn't leave willingly, what was the alternative? It would've been nearly impossible for someone to take you from inside Jackson with no one noticing. But he can't shake the feeling that something is off.

It’s Tommy who has to keep reminding him to ride slow, to keep an eye on the ground for possible tracks. Joel just wants to go, to spur Old Beardy on until they're galloping up the hill, despite not knowing where it is he needs to go. He just wants to find you. Preferably in one piece, happy and healthy. 

He would’ve missed it.

The small footprints leading off the road and onto a smaller path, one that's twisting through pines and further into the woods. 

Tommy nods. “Pretty sure ‘tis the one that leads to the hunting cabin.”

It only takes a few minutes for them to be sure. The wooden cabin is hidden away behind a few trees, difficult to spot if you don't know where to look. It doesn't really serve any purpose, at least not anymore. The roof at the back caved in years ago, allowing rain and plants alike to enter the dimly lit room. It’s less than five miles from the gate of Jackson, tucked away from the main road.

He can’t help but think that this would be the perfect place to run off to. Or to hide a body.

Joel is off his horse in a second, not even bothering to tie the stallion's halter to the wooden posts in front of the cabin. Without thinking, he tugs his revolver out of his waistband, using his foot to nudge the door open.

He smells it before his eyes even have a chance to adjust to the dim light. The unmistakable stench of blood. And mixed with it, creating an odor that immediately makes him sick to his stomach, the smell of gunpowder in the air.

***

The sun has been slowly rising while you’ve been flipping through the pages, trying to find the volumes you’re looking for. The library of Jackson, though rather small, has been frequented more and more, especially in the winter months when the weather doesn’t always allow activities outside and people resort to what they’ve always known: Books.

The entire place is supposed to be relocated soon, to a small store on main street. But compared to the greenhouses needing repairs and the stables being expanded, books don't seem to be a priority for most of the townsfolk.

“Books can’t feed us or keep us safe,” Maria pointed out when you brought the slow progress up to her. You politely disagree. You feel like you could live off books for the rest of your life.

Still, packing up everything means the old place, a shed tucked away behind the church, is currently a mess. Sagging bookshelves, a leaky roof and too many books for too little space means chaos. One that only few bother to navigate in its current state. You among them.

It was the crack of dawn when you slipped out of the house, deciding to let Lane sleep in while you walked through the still empty streets to the far end of the town, hoping to get the library work out of the way before the first lesson of the day.

Maria is the one that finds you, making your head peek up from between two shelves with a frown. “You changed your mind on those books?”

She gives a small laugh, one that sounds oddly like relief. Then her face becomes stern again, the look she carries much more often. “You two have some explaining to do, do you realize that?”

Now it's your turn to frown. “We two?” She pauses at that, looking around the small room. But there is no one here but you and her and the characters bleeding from the pages.

“Is Lane not with you?”

You shake your head, turning your attention back to the book in your hands. “She has the 8AM class today.” 

“She's not there,” Maria curtly responds. You can tell she's trying to keep her voice steady but there is a hint of anxiety regardless. 

“Then she overslept again,” you half guess-half ask, closing the book again.

“She's not at home either.”

An odd feeling crawls over your body. You can't remember what was in your hands a moment ago, but the question is forgotten in an instant. Maria carefully watches as you step out from between the shelves, her tone still gentle. “I've sent Tommy and Joel out to search. We thought you two snuck out.”

You feel numb as you shake your head. “No, I- I didn't see her this morning. I thought she was still asleep.” You rack your brain for the memories of this morning, of last night, of the last week even. But nothing comes to mind, nothing out of the ordinary.

“I was out late last night, finishing up some paperwork,” you mutter, more to yourself than the woman in front of you, retracing your steps in your mind. “Lane got home before me, I had dinner, we talked about blueberries-”

“Blueberries?” Maria asks, her hand already back on the doorknob. She seems restless and it's that fleeting detail that worries you more than anything. Maria stays in control. Always. 

“Yeah, we- It doesn't matter. I don't know where she is,” you finish lamely, getting up and joining her at the door. But she hasn't moved yet.

“You should stay at home. I'm sure she'll show up again soon and if she comes back to your place, someone should be there.” You nod but your mind is already drifting again. Lane’s been doing fine, good. So have you, really. Maria gently reaches for your shoulder, steering you out of the shed and towards the church, down the street that leads to the center of Jackson. 

You're passing the small graveyard that's protected by brick walls, the stones already withered, pale in contrast to the dark metal fence running along on top. The gate is ajar, but you barely pay it any attention as the information settles in your brain. It takes a few seconds for it to reach your mouth and leave your lips.

“She went out a few times.” 

“Out?” Maria enquires, raising an eyebrow as her attention shifts back to you.

“I thought she'd met someone. Cat and her were pretty close and I figured-” You give a small shrug. It's more than uncomfortable, suddenly, and absurd, that you're discussing Lane's private life so openly, with Maria of all people.

“Don't tell her I said that,” you add quickly. 

Maria nods as you reach the end of the brick wall. “I won't. I'll get back to the city hall and see if there’s any news yet. You go home.”

Your head nods as if on its own accord. Maria has already turned her back towards you when you pipe up. “Maria?” 

She pauses, her back straightening a bit. “Yes?”

“You don't think anything happened to Lane, do you?” 

The older woman shakes her head softly. “No. I'm sure she's fine. Now get home. Maybe she's already there.”

And she hurries off, leaving you at the corner of the street with a trembling body and a heavy feeling in your stomach. For a fleeting moment, you allow your thoughts to wander past the point you've been dreading to consider. What if something has happened? If Lane did sneak out, maybe with Cat, maybe alone, and got into some sort of situation? What if she's hurt?

The sky has turned from pink to a light blue, only a few clouds piling around the mountains on the horizon. You glance down at your hands, shaking ever so slightly. You decide to blame it on the cold. The cold that may be getting to your head as well. Because after a few moments, you turn on your heels, heading for the stables. It's only a few rows of houses until the large wooden wall looms in front of you, blocking out the little sunlight you could get in the morning. The wall that protects you from what lies beyond. Infected and Raiders and maybe, you think, as you slip into the stables, maybe answers.

if you enjoyed the chapter, please consider reblogging/sharing and commenting, every single notif on this fic makes my heart swell with love <3

[soulofapatrick]

Starstruck - Pedro Pascal x reader/OC

Summary: Y//N plays Eleanor Winchester in Supernatural and is on the red carpet for season 13 where she spots her heartthrob: Pedro Pascal. 

SORT OF LINKS TO Terrible at Secrets

Words: 1.3K 

Warnings: anxiety (?)

Notes: request by @princessmermaid1289​ and photos of dress and hair at the bottom. 

Y/N’s POV:

Being part of such a big show like Supernatural is always breathtaking, especially getting to meet all the other big stars and my fans. I never expected to have such an impact or make a family with J2M. Jared and Jensen immediately took me under their wings when I joined in season seven as Sam and Dean’s little sister - Eleanor aka. Nell

Being anxious and an actor is always something interesting but I have such an amazing family backing me and getting rid of any awkward questions aimed my way during conventions. I love conventions and red carpets, being able to meet my own idols of which I have plenty. I find it so much fun talking to them and getting the fans opinions on everything. My fans are my biggest critics and they’re how I improve. 

Tonights a red carpet for our season 13 with Alexander Calvert. He’s very cute and bubbly and I love him like a little brother and the fans seem to love him even more. He’s going to be big, I just know it, especially when the fans scream at him wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging me as the cameras flash.

“Heyyy Y/N,” Jensen appears at my other side, elbowing me and leans down enough he can whisper quiet enough the cameras and paparazzi don’t catch it, “Your man crush is over there, go say hi.” 

I follow his gaze to see the one and only Pedro Pascal. He guest starred in an episode but sadly I never got to see or meet him as it wasn’t with me. My character was off with Kelly and Castiel while Pedro was with Jensen and Jared and I will admit it broke my heart a little as I have always had a huge crush on the sweetheart. He looks drop dead in that crisp white suit and black bowtie. His hair is so fluffy and I just wanna run my hands through it from here. 

“Go!” Alex is agreeing and I’m being pushed in Pedro’s direction so lightly jog over, trying not to trip over my dress. It’s a beautiful thing, not my personal choice but I have to admit it looks beautiful and it makes me feel beautiful when I’m quite a rough and tough person having been around J2M for pretty much eight years. It’s black and flows, making me feel like a character from a fairytale, the sleeves off the shoulder and it sparkles in the flash of the cameras. I think it’s made from a mixture of satin and lace with how light it is despite how heavy and full it looks. It seems my stylist was going for a vintage look as my strawberry blonde hair is pinned back in light curls, it reminds me a longer version of Susan Pevensie’s hair from the last movie where Lucy becomes Susan. I feel beautiful. 

“Hi,” I place a trembling hand on Pedro’s shoulder, causing him to turn to see me. His face breaks into that contagious grin as he looks me up and down with no abash. It has me flushing a bright red, especially when he makes room for me, wrapping a large hand around my waist. 

“Hi there mama,” Pedro’s voice is like velvet and has me weak at the knees. He’s pulling me flush against the side and begin to pose for the paparazzi again, a huge grin on his face so I compose myself and do the same, putting my arm around his back. He’s a lot taller than I realise so it’s easy for me to rest my head on his shoulder and I think I’m going to go deaf at the sound that erupts from the fans as Pedro glances down at me with a look that makes me balling his jacket in the hand that’s around his back. He lips are suddenly near my ear as he whispers “Easy darlin,” while his thumb rubs soothingly at my hip. 

We have move on so Jared and Gen can take our stops and I prepare to go back to Alex as Misha has Vicki and Jensen has Danneel but Pedro grasps my hand in his calloused one. I stumble slightly but he steadies me and my mind races because this is going to be big news and everyone is going to realise I have the biggest crush on Pedro Pascal… who is leading me to the next photo spot. 

The cameras continue to blind me and I have to grip Pedro’s hand tighter as I can feel my anxiety bubbling. I usually try to do the red carpets quickly and usually Jensen; Jared and Misha there to ground me. This beautiful man beside seems to understand what’s happening and is sending one last wave at the cameras before he’s leading me towards the Entertainment Weekly interviewer. 

“Hello there mommy and daddy,” She greets us and feel myself flush again as this never happens to me. I can’t remember her name as I was meant to only talk to a tiktoker turning interviewer as I’m not as big as my on screen brothers. 

“Hey there,” Pedro sends her an amusing smile, keeping a tight grip on my waist. 

“Well this is a nice surprise, I’m a little star stuck right now,” The interviewer turns her attention to me, “I have to admit I’m a huge fan of you and your character, Eleanor Winchester for those who don’t know.” She glances back at the camera and I’m subconsciously grabbing Pedro’s free hand, hoping the camera doesn’t pick up on. 

“Oh! Well, thank you.” I’m laughing nervously, “I’m also star stuck!”

“You’re the star here,” Pedro nudges me and I can just hear all the fan edits about to be spamming my social media feeds in the morning but I don’t care because I’m currently pressed against the Pedro Pascal and he’s acting like I’m the big star, not him. Somehow I feel like royalty, even when the interviewer gets on with her planned interview with Pedro and I’ve never felt like this. I just alternate between watching the way Pedro throws his head back in a hearty laugh every time the interview flirts with me and the way the cameras are flashing blindingly. I should be panicked and breathless right now but that hand on my hip is flexing every so often and somehow it keeps me grounded and this is probably the first red carpet I’ve been able to breathe.

“Well, here’s the question I think most will be asking in the morning, is there something here?” The interviewer is asking, her question making my head snapping round so fast I’m surprised I don’t get whiplash, watching Pedro to see what he says as I try to slow my breathing. 

“I wouldn’t mind having a date with miss Y/N here but we’ll have to see.” He’s sending her wink then pulling me even closer to him and I just look at the camera and fake swoon, laughing lightly in shock. 

“I think I’m hallucinating,” I tell her and it causing everyone in earshot to break into laughter as Pedro presses a kiss to my cheek, the light drag of his beard taking the air from my lungs, “Definitely hallucinating.” 

“She says yes,” Jared’s towering frame appears behind us both, patting Pedro on the shoulders, “Of course she wants to go on a date with Pedro.” 

“A date it is it seems.” Pedro’s grin seems to get wider and I’m not really sure what’s happening right now. I might have a date with the Pedro Pascal and my two older brother figures may have set me up it seems, especially from the way Jared and Jensen high five as they walk away and the way Gen sends me a wink. 

Oh my fucking god. I’m going on a date with Pedro Pascal.