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#the manager isnt gonna be there tomorrow
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I'm gonna throw up rn thinking about work tomorrow 🤪
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silouvertongues · 3 months
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IM SO COOOOOKED
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du-hjarta-skulblaka · 5 months
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So yeah avoiding my phone didn't work and also meant I sat on the kitchen floor staring into space for about 3 hours before Alfie woke up but hey at least I didn't break anything
Them being around is helping a little but they're also struggling and it fuckin sucks bc I know we're both just. Rotating money stress in our minds
#like. i went out earlier to get bread#just bread bc we cant afford anything else#got just enough in the bank to cover the work thing but since management stjll hasnt gotten back to me on HOW to pay it its like#our electricity is already in debt lol it has a thing where you can go £10 into debt before it switches off#and it usually wont switch off over weekends#presumably bc all but 1 places nearby thst we can top it up at are shut on weekends but anyway#so we're like. okay. it MIGHT last today and if it does thst SHOULD mean itll last till monday.#but then itll be at least a tenner in debt#then we only have to last till thursday but its. do we keep this money thats for The Thing that is once again unclear on how urgent it is#or do we spend it on the Soon To Be Immdiately Urgent thing#and thats not even CONSIDERING food lmao we. i got 2 loaves of bread so we can at least survive on toast for a few days#we got 3 maybe 4 meals worth of stuff still in the kitchen#like...at this point i dont even care if i have to go a few days without eating at all to make it to thursday but its.#its so fucked up those are the terms im thinking in#and this isnt asking for more donations i really cannot take that today im at the fuckin bottom of my barrel#and already feel hopeless and useless and an active drain to everything around me#but its. like. how. why. why is it still like this. why is it looking extremely unlikely its ever gonna change.#whats the point if its all for a few scattered handful hours of actual peace and comfort never mind happiness#tldr yes i am once again suicidal but small s#like in the sense of i would feel immense relief if a truck came at me on my way to work tomorrow and would not step out of the way but#dont have it in me to actually consciously act upon
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girl-bateman · 3 months
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Feeling sick! Like emotionally and whatnot
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risingsunresistance · 11 months
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feels weird to not have much to post, i feel like i basically disappeared off social media compared to how i used to post but. there is simultaneously so much going on (things that are boring/heavy and not fun to post about) and nothing at all going on (i have not been able to play anything very much and havent been watching anything besides random documentaries i stumble across), leading to me having nothing to say lmao
i did finally write down a bunch of hypixel worldbuilding headcanon junk instead of having it only be word-of-mouth between me and ark lol. only 1700 words, i can do better 👍 it was literally only about admin magic, what exactly it means to "hack," what a server is, and limbo kjgfhk. i might make a big post about the limbo section one day :]
#things that arent worth having their own post bc it's boring normal life stuff#I LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!!!! i've only worked one day but i had a lot of fun#and i like my coworkers. im scared of tomorrow tho bc my manager who has been guiding me around isnt gonna be there#so second day in and im already on my own DFGHKJG it'll be fine.........#also I GOT MY DESK ORDERED LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO. SOON I WILL BE BACK ON THE GRIND I WANNA PLAY SKYBLOCK SO BAD#i've only been able to play on weekends or at ark's ;-; pain and suffering i need somewhere to sit#also fun fact. remember how the house was full of mold. well there was ALSO a gas leak for the past couple weeks#my existence is a miracle#im blaming all past behaviors on this. im normal now dont worry 👍👍👍#i think i already mentioned this but my snes power cable is missing and i need a new one Pain And Suffering#on the brighter side of my old games. i found by gbc! AND THE BATTERIES STILL WORK SOMEHOW LMAO#i can finally do a miserable gen 2 shiny hunt yippeeeeee#trying to find my gameboy copy of tetris attack but i dont see it anywhere 😔#uhhhh yeah that's about it i guess. been busy with sorting out work stuff and money problems and Everything Else#currently taking care of health stuff i havent done in years. time for dentist today wahoo#gonna try to get an eye exam soon. it's been like. a decade-#im not sure my vision is still 20/20 im having trouble reading some things digitally#billboards are fine. electronic ones are not those are just smudges#i dont know enough about eyes to know what that could be#chat
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monsterbisexual · 1 year
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if i call in sick to work i shld tell them im having symptoms of emotional turmoil, physical agony n excessive bleedinfg so im gonna stay home bye
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#ay ay ay. now that the soul crushing project is done ive elected to spend the week managing data#which is decidedly more chill than what ive been doing for the last month but also isnt not doing anything and it isnt getting stuff done#for when i have to move. so thats annoying. and ive been drawing again at least but i can feel the escalation in my controlling behavior#so its now very frustrating trying to draw anything. coloring is gonna take a million years rip.#also suddenly everyone wants to b social rn? like tomorrow my boss is organizing a thing with an old lab mate and this weekend a#collaborator is having a retirement party. and next week my lab mates wanna do a trivia night. and i kno that i should go to these things.#and i will try but i really dont want to go to any of it. mostly for driving reasons but also im a husk of a person rn. but the more#devastating thing is that uh next week one of the kids i grew up with is getting married to a rich girl lol. and like we werent that close#bc i was and am such an asocial freak but after the wedding my parents r picking up their new camper and camping their way across the#country with my sisters. and im sure someone probably told me the dates of these things at some point but if u tell me dates i will#instantly forget them. so thats. ya kno. happening over basically the next 2 weeks while i have to kill myself over measurements for a#different study i dont care abt. and like. its fine. ill see them mid may for a different planned trip. it just makes me kinda sad#a product of living halfway across the country i guess. im just inherently more disconnected to everyone. i would suspect thsts semi#intentional subconsciously. u cant b upset abt not being able to connect with ppl if you create enough physical distance that u never see#them in the 1st place. u cant misunderstand me if i make myself absent and unknowable. idk. i was explaining to my mum that i didnt realize#the timeline and she was like. understandable whatever u wanna do! and idk y that upsets me so much. i guess its just that i dont want to b#doing this. its causing me pain but dont kno how to articulate it in a way that makes sense. whatever. my mouth hurts. my lips r so chapped#that the irritation is spread past my lip line. probably doesnt help thst i keep rubbing at it lol. anyway things r still annoying#less soul crushing thsn last week but still frustrating#unrelated
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jemamore · 2 months
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🫥
#blerghhhhhhhhhhhhhh i really cant face going to work tomorrow#the entire time ive been at this job its been a nightmare#but i dont get to move on from it because i gave everyone a bad impression and its just stuck and im fucked im just so fucked#im in extended monitoring its 8 weeks till i lose my job and i havent managed to get any of my training signed off#and ive tried but im in 3 days a week and no one has capacity to help me and its like hgggggggg im gonna lose my job bc no one has helped me#i keep going between making peace with it and then being in utter panic about it and im in the panic part today#i cant quit because its really hard having a gap in employment when applying for other jobs bc they need references to fill that time period#if i apply for anything else now i get a shit reference but i dont have the mental strength to start a new job for the 3rd time in 12 months#if i get dismissed then its all the fucking worse bc i have to explain to future exployers that ive been dismissed and have shit reference#i feel so sick about it all just constant state of fear#i fucked up from day one for my mental health being in the toilet and being surrounded by toxicity in the team#my mental health is still in the toilet but the people they were the worst about have rotated out of the team#i still cant really deal with the casual racism but i dont feel like i can say anything because anecdotal evidence isnt enough#mannnnn idk what to do#i just really hope that the lass i used to work with hires for christmas this year so i can just go sell stationery
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oflgtfol · 11 months
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god this SUCKS i cant redo the mat to cover it bc that was the last sheet of that color that we had in stock and the scrap left behind from when i originally cut it earlier, is just 2 inches too small to be used for this. so i cant use it. so i have to deal with this. and the way/side it tore means that it casts a shadow so its even more noticeable. gawd almighty
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#i still have to complain about work so sorry besties#so the owners (its a small business a couple owns) live in another state#so they come back here every once in a while and visit all the locations while they're here#since they cant be here in person otherwise#they were supposed to visit my store over the weekend. great for me bc i dont work weekends#they didn't come. manager said they're still in town for 'a few more days'#i dont know what that means! i work today and tomorrow 9-5 but the store is open till 7#are they still gonna be here Wednesday???? so i could miss them??? are they gonna come after 5???#or by 'a few more days' does he mean they're leaving tomorrow so they're coming today???? WHEN????#lets hope they come either after 5 or after tomorrow. omg.#ALSO#my ingredients still aren't here 😐#i finally told the manager. hes not mad at me but like. i barely have anything to do without these things#he called. and someone said smth about when i put them on the order log i didn't add the date#which im 98% sure is not true. there was one little mix up where the dates could've been deleted but idk#apparently its been ordered now..... when its coming...... idk!!!!!#but i loooooovvveeee how they tried to make it my fault i love that#i think the manager isnt mad. he said hed tell the owners it wasn't my fault if they say anything.#but still!!!!!! AAHJHHH#also. he 'reminded' me AGAIN to greet customers#and ive been telling myself id say smth about my anxiety if he brought it up again#but i had already used up so much anxiety and energy talking about the ingredients :(#so i still didn't say anything#i have stuff to keep me occupied today. maybe some of tomorrow#but if my ingredients dont come in tomorrow idk what else to do#i can make some things that haven't been ordered which im not supposed to do#i can clean. but ive cleaned this bakery SO MUCH over the last few weeks i really dont know what else to do lol#im sure someone would say its still dirty#but theres only so much i can do like!!!!!!#im gonna eat lunch now lol everythings fine everythings FINE!!!
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jovine · 1 year
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oh god hardest exam in 20 min shits myself
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irl-fire-and-flame · 1 year
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Fuck yeahhh, I'm not staying here all day again
Probably because I complained about the fact of what the fuck happened
Which apparently wasn't approved of by the manager, because it's illegal
Know your rights, folks. Drop kick someone if you have to.
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orcelito · 1 year
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Curry chicken for BREAKFAST
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theblueflower05 · 11 months
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Mi Ti’ong(In Bloom)
A/N: Usually I try to keep my readers pretty ambiguous so that everyone can envision themselves, but this ones gonna be a little more distinct. If that isnt your jam, please dont read! No use of Y/N. Reader nicknamed Flora. Based on the character from Winx Club! And this art!
Word Count: 6k+
Warnings: Size difference kink.Mature Language. Smut. Overstimulation. Oral sex(female receiving) Neteyams a munch, it’s canon now.
Summary: Neteyam can have anyone and yet he only wants you. A small human who can usually be found among the flowers. Neteyam x Human! Reader
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Sugar, honey, iced tea. Bumble bee on the scene.
Yeah I’d give up my bakery to have a piece of your pie, ugh!
-See You Again, Tyler the Creator.
The forest is alive, the beating heart of Eywa felt in each and every leaf among the trees.
Every glowing piece of flora and fauna, every creature whose calls echo through the vastness.
This time of year is special and it's as though it is known. Deeply and primitively by all. The rains had come and gone, nearly a month of bruised skies that had bogged down the village and its daily life.
But as they always do the skies cleared, and the sun made its reappearance. Glittering and glimmering- triple rainbows breaking out in kaleidoscope like figurations. Beaming down with all of it’s warmth and vitality.
The earth is well fed and fertile, the soil rich and blooming with new life.
It’s that new life that brings the talioang(water buffalo like beasts) back. The creatures return in great migrations to the lush pastures of sweet new grasses to have their babies. The fish swim upstream, battling the roaring rivers, to spawn. The fruit hangs heavy and ripe in the trees. All around there is nothing but full bellies and joy.
This period of abundance is the Great Mother’s gift to her children.
It had always been Neteyam’s favorite time of the year.
Everything lush and bursting with life, the excitement a low constant hum amongst the tribe. The Great Hunt is coming and his father had given him the okay to take lead.
In his nineteen years, he had never been appointed with so much responsibility.
Jake tells him it will all be fine, nothing but easy smiles. This will be good. A fantastic way to show the clan that he’s ready to take on the title of Olo’eyktan once his father steps down. Although he manages to keep is calm and cool demeanor in public, he’s so fucking nervous he can barley function.
It’s why he’s here, trudging through the branches.
The village is buzzing with excitement. Everyone wants a moment of his time, their voices overlap as they wish him good luck.
Question his competence as head of the hunt.
Subliminally hint that hunters twice his age have never gotten the chance to do what has been so freely handed to him.
Remind him that their daughters are pretty. Unmated. Makes the best steamed Teylu. Are fertile and willing to give him strong children-
Fuck.
The moment he could, he’d slipped away. Disappeared into the foliage and had booked it deep into the trees, desperate for a moment alone. For a moment of silence and the peace of being away from prying eyes.
He doesn't even really know where he’s going.
Only that he just needs to be away. If only for an hour. He needs to recharge his ever draining social battery, to get his head on straight before tomorrow's hunt.
Neteyam has always performed his best under pressure.
Things that made others balk and cower ignited something in him. A need to fight. To prove himself- it’s not the prospect of high adrenaline and stampeeding hooves that makes him squirm. It’s all of the attention its garnering.
He know’s fully well that being the next Olo’eyktan means that attention comes with the territory. But that doesnt mean the thought of everyones focus on him doesnt make his indigo skin crawl.
He’s leaping aimlessly between vines when he remembers his sisters earlier proposition.
“Come with me and Flora to the watering hole today! The waterfalls are so pretty during this season- We’re going to go swimming!”
It’d been tempting this morning, and now it is even more so. He could use a dip in the cool waters and Kiri was always an ear to vent to when he got overwhelmed. He’d clear head and then leave-
He wouldn't get stuck staring at you.
Again,
No.
He can't pinpoint exactly when this happened.
It was like one night you were just another human at the Outpost. Another familiar alien face he’d grown up around. Just like Spider you’d stuck close with the Sully children. Your cheeks always flushed beneath your exo-mask and your fingernails always dirty and caked with mud from the hours and hours you’d spend tending to any and all plants that came in your line of vision. You were always so soft. Too soft for his liking sometimes. You’d cry at just about anything whether it be one of those old Tawtute movies the scientists played at the lab or the sight of an injured shimmyfly.
And then suddenly gone was that snotty, teary little girl he’d always known. And in her place was…you. A woman grown. Beautiful and bold- and there was strength in your softness now. You’d proved him wrong so many times- made it clear that you weren't another responsibility he’d have to shoulder-
“I can take care of myself, Neteyam” you’d insisted, never letting him carry your heavy baskets or tend to your scraped knees.
It’s maddening, the way that you shrug off any and all of his advances drives him fucking insane.
Neteyam approaches the secluded bank of the watering hole that his family loves best slowly, keeping in the treeline. Just out of sight. Just like he’d expected he finds you and Kiri on the familiar sands. Kiri is lounging in the sun, eyes closed and humming a pleasant tune to herself-oblivious to anything around her. He’d have to chastise her about her complete lack of situational awareness later.
You’re knee deep in the lake- tending to the water lilies that grow close to shore. Your back is to him but he bets your nose is all scrunched up, just like it always is when you’re around anything green and growing. His eyes drink you in greedily. All of your sun kissed skin is on display in the tiny faded pink panties you don for swimming.
He’d never found humans particularly pretty before you. The intense differences in their bodies had never appealed to him-
But Eywa, are you something to look at.
Time had been kind to you, and as you’d grown your body had morphed into something goddess like. You’re a real looker, his father had claimed. Would’ve been a total knockout back on Earth.
You’re all plush curves. Your breasts are pert and sit like rip hanging fruit on your chest, your hips wide and thighs jiggly and thick. And your waist…he’s sure if he put his much larger hands around them, his fingers could touch. He could cage you in his hold.
That thought has him biting his tongue, hard enough to taste metallic. You turn a bit, your laughter chiming over the glittering water like soft wind at some dry joke Kiri made.
Your hair color is light, lighter than any Na’vi’s and falls down around your shoulders in thick waves. He can only make out the side of your face but your full lips are pulled into a coy smile and your light jade eyes sparkle and all hell. Neteyam is so gone on you.
You’re like nothing he’s seen and definitely nothing he’s had.
And since his Iknimaya he’s had his first pick of the women of the clan.
He’s tasted passionate huntresses and flexible dancers alike and none of them satiate his thirst. None of them are able to replicate what he can only imagine you might taste like. It’s almost pathetic how many women he’s had and how many times he’s almost called out your name as he emptied his seed.
Neteyam’s more discreet about his romps than his brother, that’s for sure- but still. It’s a known fact that he’s an unmated male at his prime and that comes with a certain appetite. He can have anyone he wants, any Omatikayan woman would be glad to spend a night with him.
Yet somehow he’s lurking, hiding in the bush. Watching you longingly. Simpering like a pre-teen and pining over the way that the sunlight plays in the strands of your hair.
He shakes himself from his embarrassing reverie.
No one would be able to tell that just moments before he’d been debating on stroking his cock to just the sight of you, lurking in the trees like a creep. No. As he approaches its with his head held high and a sharp smile on his handsome smile.
“Brother!” Kiri grins, sitting up once she clocks him.
“What are you girls up to?” Neteyam greets. Cool as a cucumber.
“Nothing much, just been here since dawn. The waters so high this year!” Kiri picks up a fruit from beside her, peeling at its tender meat “everyone’s been out here today-on the other side, but no one knows how to get to this spot so we’ve had the beach all to ourselves”
You’re coming in from the lapping shore, beaming at him “Look at all the paysul(waterlily) that’ve bloom! I’ve never seen this many- isn't it amazing?”
“They are very beautiful. The rains were hard this year. I’m surprised the flooding wasn't worse” Neteyam tries not to focus on how tiny your chest covering- the bra as you call it- is. He turns his attention to his sister instead.
“Where’s Tuk, I cant believe she’d miss a chance to swim with you guys”
“She’s with mom, stuck on weaving duty since she tore grandma’s favorite tapestry” Kiri snorts because her baby sister had thrown a complete fit when she had been told she couldn't come “What about you? I thought you we’re too busy to hang out with the likes of us”
“I was able to make a little time for my favorite girls” Neteyam jests, amused by your eye roll and Kiri’s scoff “Plus, Lo’ak told me you need some humbling. Seems you forgot who’s the best diver in the family”
“Oh, you’re on, Teylupil(penis face/dick head)”
After stripping down to only his cloth, his cumberband and com left on shore, he slips into the cool refreshing water with a pleased “Ah”. Enjoying the gentle current against his skin-only to be tacked under the surface by Kiri and all of her bony lanky limbs moments later.
The sun soaked afternoon is filled with laughter and splashing. It’s exactly what he needs.
The three of you play in the river like children. Neteyam and Kiri go at it like the always do- careful to be gentle with your smaller form as you join in. It’s easy to forget the looming pressure of the hunt while he’s jumping from the rushing waterfalls and racing his sister, discreetly preening when he wins and you cheer him on with little claps.
Eventually you all tire.
Kiri floats on the water and goes to that place in her head that she so often does. Completely at peace to be surrounded by nature. She claims it’s when she can best hear Eywa.
Neteyam keeps a bit of an eye on her to make sure she doesn't randomly fall asleep again. Hoping she’d have the sense to get back to the beach before that happened.
Water floods his face and goes right up his nose.
His head snaps to you, spluttering and wiping at his eyes, “What the hell?”
You just giggle innocently before disappearing beneath the surface.
Neteyam’s tail flicks with interest.
He decides to let you get your little head start. His heart speeds up with the promise of a hunt before he starts his chase.He might be bigger then you but you're quick and slippery. Your mask giving you the advantage of not having to come up for air like he does.
When he grabs your ankle, so sure he’s got you, you all but kick him in the face to get away.
You little shit.
Fine.
If you want to play dirty, then he’s game.
He allows you to think you have a chance. That you may be winning the little game. You’re heading for the waterfall, planning to hide behind it.
He’s bigger and more trained than you could ever hope to be.
It only takes one well planned move and you’re done.
He yanks a hold of you, secure. He holds you then, your back against his chest and his strong muscle corded arms wrapped around you from behind before propelling the both of you through the pounding waterfall and into the small, closed off cave behind it.
“Neteyam!” You whine, squirming in his hold like a fish and he just laughs because honestly. He can barely feel it. You’re trying to escape with all his might and he’s holding you the way he might hold a child throwing a tantrum.
He leans in close, burying his face in your wet hair, close to your ear “I win, Sylaung(flower)”
He feels you shiver in his arms and it just makes him hold you tighter. He could keep you like this forever, if you’d only let him. Instead he can feel without you even saying so how hesitant you feel about this
“I think I deserve a prize” he pushes on even further and you give him a confused, side ways look. He so graciously allows you to turn in his hold until your chests meet, face to face.
“Like what?” you wonder and you’re too cute. You’re looking up at him, struggling to treading water with your smaller legs- Neteyam lifts you higher, until you’re bracing your hands on his broad shoulders and he’s holding you above the current. Supporting you totally.
“Well what can you give?” His inquiry is almost condescending and you shrug.
“I’m fresh out of gold stars” you tease and he barks out a laugh. Do you think he can't tell? That he can't see the way your cheeks flush and your pulse hammers beneath the delicate skin of your throat?
“What about a kiss” he offers offhandedly and your face scrunches up in a glare automatically.
“You don't want to?...”
“Why do you make fun of me like this, Neteyam” It’s not often he hears your voice this hard, soured by embarrassment and self doubt.
“I’m not making fun of you” he insists with a sigh “I don't know why you always say that. When have I ever given you the impression that I’d do that?”
You won't meet his gaze. Your green eyes flick, anywhere but on him. Zeroing somewhere behind his back. All too interested on the rocky cave wall.
“If it wasn't for this damned mask” Neteyam husks, low and sincere “I’d kiss you right now”
Even still, you don't seem convinced. Won't look at him until he takes your face in his hand, his fingers gentle but insistent. They grip the mask at your jaw, forcing you to look at him. “Why don't you believe me?”
“I’m nothing like the Omatikaya women you’ve been with” you say plainly like it's so obvious. Like it's a problem.
“I know”
“You didn't even like me growing up. You thought I was annoying”
“That isn't true-”
“It is” you insist haughtily “you’d make fun of me for talking to my plants”
He doesn't mean to laugh, really he doesn't. It’s not the time for it and it just pisses you off even more. He doesn't let you out of his arms even when you swat at him. “Listen, I’m sorry. I think it’s very sweet the way you talk to your plants. I want you to talk to me just like that, please”
That earns him a little giggle and he feels very pleased with himself.
You play with his hair often, most times it's mindless. A way to distract yourself. Your small deft fingers twirl along his adorned braids. He craves the scritch of your manicured nails on his scalp.
“How do you want me to kiss you? If I have my mask on” The interest in your hair is only just veiled. Your attempt at being nonchalant fails.
“Hmm” Neteyam feigns thinking, face screwed up “I think I could come up with a few ideas”
A few thousand more like it. You were the star of all of his fantasies. You, twisted and contorted into positions that would surely make you blush. You, with your mouth hanging slack in pleasure. Screaming his name-
But you hadnt agreed to that. You only, just barely, agreed to let him kiss you.
When he leans in its slow. Slow enough to give you time to push him away.
The waterfall roars in the background, white noise, but even it can't drown out the thunderous beating of your frantic heart.
Then his lips are pressed against your throat, gulping in the sweet scent of you. He cant kiss your mouth, but he can kiss the sweet, smooth column of your neck. Your clavicle. Your quivering shoulders. The heavy flesh of your breast. His kisses are open mouthed, his rough textured tongue dragging over your skin, leaving saliva trails in their wake-
You gasp sharpley when drags the skimpy fabric of your bra down so he can get at your pebbled nipple. He’s just about to suckle, when the moment is broken.
“Guys! Where’d you go?!”
It’s Kiri. Obviously awake from her nap like meditation time.
Your eyes go comically wide and Neteyam reluctantly releases you. Not wanting to get caught with an armful of pretty, half naked human. He’s thankful for the cold water and the way that he can hide the hardness tenting his tweng.
He catches you by the wrist before you can dip beneath the falls-
“We’re not done here, Sylaung” the promise leaves his lips fevor laced and full of heat.
You can only gulp and nod dazed, “I still owe you a kiss” your sweet voice reminds, before you’re ducking back under the water.
Leaving him dazed and buzzing for a moment before he gets it together and follows.
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Days later he still hasn't gotten his prize.
Although he’s celebrated by his clan, praised for his successful hunt, he feels like something is missing.
The Harvest Season and its celebrations are well underway. Every night there's dancing and singing around the large bonfires we’re fragrant spiced tailong meat roasts. Neteyam is highly decorated; feathers adorn his freshly braided hair and he's donned his most ornate cumberband. He’s hauntingly handsome
Spider and Lo’ak are sat near the main fire, laughing heartily and sharing a leather gourd full of liquor between themselves.
Spider’s obviously drunk and eyeing Kiri hungerly as she dances with Tuk- he’d never do that sober. Not with Neytiri so near. Lo’ak is lounged out, an attractive female in his lap. She giggles madly at whatever filth his little brother whispers in her twitching ear.
Jealousy bubbles acidicly in Neteyam’s belly and again, he wonders where you are. Why you arent here, in his lap. Letting him woo you.
He figures he’ll have to go to you then, if you won't come to him.
First thing to do is find you.
“Hey, Spider!” the human man is the best place to start. Spider’s eyes are glassy under his mask and still. His friend is excited to see him, greets him with a hand shake and a small hug.
“Neteyam, man! Where have you been all night?”
“Around, you know how it is” Neteyam shrugs, sitting sown on the log, accepting the gourd and taking a swig of the thick sticky sap inside. It burns all the way down.
“This partys essentially for him- I’m surprise you we’re able to get away from dad” Lo’ak shit-talks, like he always does. It’s good natured for the most part “I thought he might throw you a parade or something. Call in the clans-”
“Fuck you, man” Neteyam chuckles, shaking his head at Lo’aks theatrics. “Don't be jealous”
“Jealous of dad? Nah” Lo’ak “Now the women you’re getting? That I might be jealous of”
“Hey!” the girl in his lap, a weaver from a modest family, squrims, pinching at his shoulder “You’ve got all the woman you need for the night, sayrip”
She squeals when Lo’ak squeezes her tight around her middle and blows wet raspberry kisses into her neck.
Neteyam just rolls his eyes and shares a little look with Spider. By the next eclipse, Lo’ak wouldve moved on. He has a knack for loving and leaving.
“Why arent you out there, bro? I saw Amitsa giving you the eyes! She’s so hot and she doesnt ever give anyone the time of day” Spider juts his chin and sure enough. The woman is giving Neteyam longing looks from across the fire. She’s a pretty thing and her sultry voice is renowned in the tribe. He’d be lying if he said he wasnt attracted to her “You’re not gonna go try to get at that?”
No. He’s not.
“Uh” Neteyam scratches the back of his neck “I was actually looking for Flora, I havent been able to find her around lately”
Of course, that sets of a exactly what he knows it would.
His brothers are assholes and have teased his merciesly since discovering his obsessive crush. Spider knocks his much smaller shoulder against Neteyam’s and Lo’ak hoots with laughter.
“How someone can be pussy whipped for pussy they haven't even had is beyond me” Lo’ak snorts and Neteyam gives him a warning growl, his lips snarled up.
It’s nothing he hadn’t heard before.
Lo’ak finds it endlessly amusing that Neteyam had his eye on you, the tiny human he’d grown up so lukewarm about. It had always been his siblings; Kiri and Lo’ak and Tuk that were close with you growing up. Neteyam had never shown a speck of interest until your figure had grown curvy and supple-
“Piss off, I wasn’t asking you” Neteyam gives his best big brother stare down. His golden eyes hard and unimpressed before looking to Spider, hairless brows raised “You know where I could find her?”
“Listen man, she said wasn’t interested in hanging out with anyone tonight” the human man starts with a sigh and Neteyam’s growl is low and warning “-but I’m sure you can find her where she always is”
Neteyam wracks his brain for a moment “The Greenhouses?”
“Bingo” Spider nods, an almost sympathetic look in his eye as he watches Neteyam jump to his feet and set off.
Lo’ak sniggers and the girl in his lap scoffs and mutters something about “shameful, being that twisted up about a tawtute” but Spider says nothing.
Instead his plixr hazed eyes focus on the figure dancing close to the firelight. Kiri lets out a twinkling laugh at something Tuk says and yeah. Spider understands Neteyam. He understands being completely obsessed with something you’ve never had.
Instead of taking a note from his much braver brother, he lifts his mask and takes another shot of the acidic syrup.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
Neteyam could make the trek through the forest to Hells Gate in his sleep..
He’d spent a good chunk of his childhood retracing these exact steps, headeded for the familiar concrete fortress that made up the last human outpost on Pandora.
Neteyam had always been far too similar to his mother, for countless reasons. But his distaste for everything industrial was one of the main reasons. As he got older he spent less and less time here. Couldnt be found in the cold echoing hallways like Lo’ak and the girls coul
But even he could admit.
There’s something beautiful about the Greenhouses.
With their dome like structure, the big glass buildings are a fortress for the humans. Inside they’re as hot and humid as the Pandoran rainforests- but circulating Earth air so that the fruits and vegetables that are native to Terra Firme can grow, even on this alien planet.
Neteyam makes his way inside, plugging in the codes into the keypad and letting himself in through the pressurized doors that slide closed right behind him. His eyes are peeled, taking in all of the foreign greenery, hoping to catch a flash of tanned skin or light hair in the cracks between trees.
The Greenhouses are huge. There’s orchards of apples and oranges and long deep garden beds full of root vegetables. Enough to feed the Hell’s Gate settlement throughout the year, to trade with the People of the Omaticaya.
No matter, he’s a blooded hunter after all.
He hones in on that training as he tracks your path. Your footprints along the cement floor are light, and really you barely leave any trace of yourself at all. You float along with light steps and Neteyam truly thinks if you had been born one of the People you would’ve made a fine huntswoman-
He finds you in the shade of the orange trees. You’re up on a stool, gathering the plump fruit and humming a pleasant little tune.
You’re ethereal in artificial sunlight.
You’re something out of the books that Norm used to read to them when they were kids. His favorite had been the one about the boy who would never grow up and the island of Neverland. And the tiny golden dust covered pixi that flitted from page to page.
A fairy.
A being not quite real. Too gentle and feminine to exist.
He likes the tawtute clothes you wear. The small top that clings to your breasts like a second skin and the flowy patterned skirt. Of course if it was up to him you’d only ever wear the garments of the People- or even better, Nothing at all.
You reach too high, strained up on your tippy toes and Neteyam feels irrational fear at that. At all of your delicate skin and breakable neck-
He’s beside you in an instant and he doesn't need a ladder to reach the high hanging fruit you’d been struggling for. He grabs the fruit with one hand while the other stabilizes you, his big palm spread out across the small of your back.
You gasp at his warm touch. Your head snapping in his direction and legs going wobbly.
“Neteyam!”
“Flora” He sighs as he urges you down from the ladder, takes the heavy bucket of fruit from your hands “You really do need to be more careful”
You splutter for a moment, still shocked at his sudden arrival “I- ugh! I was fine!” you insist haughtily “It’s not like I don't do this all of the time. You didn't need to come help me, I can manage perfectly fine on my own”
“Need to help you?” Neteyam cocks his head a bit.
“Yeah…I mean. Why else would you be here?” you ask, scratching awkwardly at your arm for a moment “Tonight's the celebration. You really should be back with the clan-”
“As should you” He cuts you off firmly. Not liking the way that you’re trying to separate yourself from the tribe. From him “I have not seen you for days. Do you not want to feast with our people?”
You sigh, looking away from him. Biting at that plump ever pink bottom lip of yours. Always shy, he knows he needs to bring you out of your shell. You’ll find a way to run away from him again if he doesn't.
“I didnt come here to help you” Neteyam admits because he’s selfish and because you’re too beautiful. Even more so, since you’ve been hiding from him. Avoiding his attention.
“Oh really?” you’re not coy by nature but there's something in your eyes. In the way you’re looking up at him “Then what are you here for?”
“My kiss”
Your pupils expand, just the tiniest bit but he can see it. He can see it all. Every inch of your pretty face, unbridled by that cumbersome mask you usually are forced to don. He can see every freckle and blemish- and the way that a blush creeps across the apples of your cheeks.
“A deals a deal” Neteyam insists at the prolonged silence. At your nervous flicking gaze.
“Okay” is your sweet reply and he can only stare at your plump lips. A man with one thing and one thing only on his mind.
You don't protest when he reaches for you. When his big hands go around your waist and tug slowly until he’s enveloping you in his chest. You fit so perfectly, right under his sternum. Stare up at him with wide eyes that flutter closed the closer he inches his face towards yours.
The kiss is wet and electric and Neteyam wants to eat you whole.
Any awkwardness that comes from the size difference is soon overcome by the desire that simmers between you. You let him lead, always so willing to go with whatever flow he may give. Let him nip at your delicate bottom lip until he can almost taste the metallic twang of blood. Let him stick his much bigger tongue into your warm mouth, and then down your constricting throat.
As you make little gasping choking sounds, he imagines it's his huge pulsing cock stealing the air from your lungs instead.
You gasp for breath when he pulls away, as he trails kisses down your soft jaw. He cant stop, wants to taste you everywhere. Every inch of skin. He know it must be overwhelming- if your heaving breaths and mewls are anything to go by, he knows you’re feeling every inch of the mind spinning need that he is.
Still,
No matter how much he gropes at you with rough hands and drags spit soaked kisses over your neck and chest, youre so good for him. Such a good girl. Holding on for any ride he might take you on. Your fingers twined in his silky braids arent there to push him away, but to pull him closed.
When he grasps you by the back of your thighs and hoists- you wrap your legs around his slim waist, your ankles hooking at his lower back.
The helpless noise you make goes straight to his groin.
Neteyam lies you down on hard floor. He’d rather have you in the warmth of his Kelku, or under the stars, but at least here he can get at your maskless face. At your bare lips. Once he’s cradling your head safely and tucked in between your spread thighs he's at you again. Ravenously.
You’re so docile, so eager to let him take whatever he wants.
“Flora” he husks into your hair and you shiver.
“Yeah?”
“Flora” Neteyam brings your little body even closer.”You have no Idea. I have to have you. I need-”
You squeak needily “You can have whatever you need” and gasp when Neteyam kisses your cheek. Your lips. Your jaw. Your neck. Your nerves are on fire and your hips grind against his.
“I need this body. I need to see all of it, you drive me crazy” Neteyam armits as he tugs on your top and you help him pull it up over your head. You dont wear a bra, why would you? Your pretty rosy nipples are all on display for him. Pebbled and begging for attention, He laps slowly with his wide textured tongue at the puffy nub.
He suckles like a newborn until you’re chivalry and making hurt little sounds, until your pretty chest is covered in blooming bruises.
And then he’s dragging his wanting mouth down. Past your heaving ribs and over your soft belly. Neteyam hikes the flowy material of your skirt up high, until he can bend down and poke his head underneath.
“Oh!” you gasp, writhing a bit. Your thighs trying to close on instinct.
You’re so wet for him, the smell of it is thick and heady and he digs his nose into your inner thigh and snuffles. Its mouthwatering.
And it bit mortifying, from your end. Having the large man with his head buried under your skirt as he sniffs at your core-
When he licks a fat stripe over you, wetting up the thin material of your panties you cry out. No ones ever touched you like this and here he is, licking at your clothed pussy. Over and over until the fabric is translucent and sticky with your flowing juices.
“Please” you mewl, gathering the fabric, yanking until you can see him.
Its filthy and erotic. The sight of his hulking blue body between your trembling tanned thighs. So alien. So taboo-
“Please what, sylaung?” Neteyam taunts, his golden eyes meeting yours. They shine with mirth, and lust. So much lust. When he noses at your pink flowery panties you throw your head back, eyes squeezed closed. Unable to take the sight any longer “You want me to take care of you?”
“Yes” you sob because you’re pulsing and you can barley breathe you’re so horny “Please take care of me with your tongue”
Neteyam strips you then, out of your skirt and cute little panties and you’re lying under him. Naked and flushed and wanting.
He shoulders himself exactly back where he wants to be. Where he’s always wanted to be.
“Don't worry, I’ll take care of this sweet pussy for you”
Oh god. Your head is spinning.
You can barely think as he kisses on the jiggling fat of your thighs.
“I’m sorry” you gasp.
Neteyam hums right against your core and you can feel the vibrations throughout your entire body “What for?”
“I’m so messy” you whisper, that pink blush blooming all over your body.
Groaning, Neteyam can't wait any longer. Your flavor bursts along his taste buds. Tangy and earthy and decadently sweet. He’s had his fair share of cunt before, but he’s never tasted a humans and he’s shocked at how saccharine it is. It’s sticky and coats his mouth and throat. His lips and nose and chin as he digs in.
“Neteyam!” You wait.
“Fuck. Oh, Eywa. One Second” Neteyam sits up and adjusts himself where his painfully hard under his tweng and the ache in you deepens. You try to be good, try to be still as he leans in and licks at you again. Kisses your pussy in that same beautiful passionate way he kisses your lips.
He’s good. Too good at this. He’s had too much practice and you never had a chance againts that oversized mouth.
“Holy fuck” the words sound even more vulgar in your honeyed voice “Fucking hell, Nete. Nete. I’m almost there”
Neteyam grin is hidden between the lips of your pussy. He doubles down, letting you hump and soak his face. Then lapping back at inside of you in a repetitive and ceaseless rhythm, One that has you shaking, arching up off the ground. Your plush thighs closing, clamping around his head as you come.
Your orgasm cinches tight and rushes around you, inside of you, out of you with a gush of slick. It’s so deep. So strong, that it takes a moment for you to truly peak and it leaves you in a daze. Out side of your body as you fuck up againts Neteyams mouth like a wild animal.
You’d never come so hard in your life and it takes a while for you to recenter.
Once youre able to focus past the rushing in your ears, the first thing you notice is Neteyam’s face streaked with wet. Your blush blooms across your cheeks as you both breathe unevenly into the quiet.
“Did that feel good?” Nereyam knows it did, but still. He needs to ask. Needs to hear you say it.
You giggle, girlish and airy as your dainty hand releases his hair and cups at his cheek “So so good. I’ve never felt anything like that before”
His grin is all too feline and seeing those white canines gleam so close to the most sensitive part of you is a little alarming.
“There’s so much more to come, yawntutsyip” Neteyam promises, leading back down. His fingers play with the jiggle of your thigh- so different then any of the Omaticaya women he’s had You squirm a bit, clearly overstimulated, but keep your legs spread anyway.
Neteyams long digits prod gently at your pussy lips. You’re oddly pretty here. All red and rosy and inflamed, like that blush he loved so much on your cheeks. He spreads you with two fingers so that he can look at you inside. At your quivering pink folds and your tiny little hole that clenches when he runs his finger along it.
“You’re so small here” he whispers, completely hypnotized by it “So fucking tight. You’ll never be able to take me”
You whimper unhappily “Don’t say that. I want to- please just try”
“Shh,” Neteyam soothes your cries. Your dazed worries. He distracts you with his tongue, as it swirls over your throbbing clit. It feels a bit like sandpaper to your nerves, but you can get enough.
When his finger begins to breach you, you hold your breath.
Its big, but youre so loose from your first orgasm, so desperate to be filled that he sinks in until the hilt.
Its maddening after that and you grind the back of your head into the hard concrete under you- your eyes closed and your mouth hanging open. The sounds you make are feral and raw-
Neteyam fucks you open with one and then two fingers until its easy. Until the sweet stretch doesn't burn- instead its slippery and wet.horribly wet as Neteyam feasts on you as he fucks you with his fingers-
“Too much-Fuck” you weakly try to pull away from the assult of pleasure but he he’s too strong. Pins you down. Makes you take whatever he wants to give you.
When he lifts your hips up even higher to take a curious lick at your puckered asshole you white out.
This orgasm isnt like the first. You sink under the waves of this one. Your muscles cramp with the intensity. You cant come back to yourself, you can’t cling to anything but Neteyam. You cant even scream.
He’s everything, as he soothes you. As he makes you feel things you’ve never felt before.
“H-hurts” you whimper, eyes filling up with tears. Pussy aching.
“Just a little more baby” Neteyam huffs as he licks at you and stuffs the hand that's covered in your cum down his own tweng. It lubricates the fast and furious pumping of his fist along his rock hard cock.
He cant fuck you tonight, thats something the two of you will have to work up to. He’ll teach your tiny body to take him. To crave penetration.
But with his tongue buried in your pulsating pussy and your scent all around him its easy enough to pretend. Easy enough to imagine shoving himself into you slowly. Stretching you’re ruined. Your hole would never be the same. You’d forever gape because of him-
Neteyam comes with a roar and dirties his loincloth up like a teenager.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
Later, after he’s cleaned you both up the best he can and gathered you to his chest. After he’s taken a sip from the breathing mask and nuzzled ar your wispy soft baby hairs that are plastered against the side of your sweaty head-
That he has the urge to read that book again. The one with the fairies. As he watches your slumbering face, your nose scrunching and lips pursing, he thinks the onlt thing missing is the gossamer wings,
His own little fairy.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
AAAAAAND we’re done.
First and foremost I want to give the wonderful @oakbuggy her accolades. Her Neteyam x Flora art inspired this fic 100%. A couple months ago I actually messaged her begging her to let me right this for her because I just couldn't get over this crackship of dreams. Thank you for being so patient with me. I hope you enjoy that overstimulation, baby!
PLEASE GO CHECK OUT HER ART. It’s sooooo delish.
This was a monster to write because I just had so many different ideas of what I wanted to do with the two of them and couldn't pinpoint where exactly I wanted the plot to go. Even now its a bit messy but still. I’m a fucking sucker for Neteyam x Flora and I would be more then happy to write more of them if thats something everyone would be into.
Please give me some feedback. What did we think about this writing style? Do we like the Y/N route more?
Until next time sweet honey bees!
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jakeysbaby · 1 year
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Overwhelmed - l.h.s
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——————————————————————-
Parings - student!heeseung x studious!fem reader
Word Count - 986
Warning(s)- unprotected sex (don’t be a loner, rap your boner) | stress fucking | finger!ng l finger sucking l nicknames (love, pretty etc). l cussing | prais!ng l teasing | begging | breeding |dirty talk|. ~lmk if more~
Genre - | smut | student studious!y/n, bad boybf!Heeseung, smut. ~lmk if other~
———————————————————————
You sigh, looking at the piles of work you had all stacked up. Student conical work, Class President work, grade lead work, home work, all sorts of responsibilities set up all on your desk.
It was hard doing all that, especially when you had a boyfriend that was the total opposite of you.
Heeseung wasn’t dumb…but wasn’t smart either. He didn’t get his homework done, he didn’t join any special clubs and most importantly, he was beyond popular. He had all the schools worth of fame. Heeseung was rich, had good looks, a good personality and a father who ran the school.
So really..did he need to follow all the rules?
You think all this to yourself, pen in your mouth as your legs are lifted up to fit the desk. As you zone out your door opens, startling you to the most. It was heeseung.
You scan his body slightly as he wore a black sweatshirt with string-long gray sweats. He was gonna be the end of you.
“Hey love, what are you doing” he asked, sitting on your bed while giving you a smile. “Oh, um nothing. I was just finishing up some work, It’s pilled up lately.” You look at him, lifting up your glasses to see him better. “Mm okay. would you like to eat something, my hard working girl? I’m gonna grab some food” he asks, laying down on your bed as you laugh at his silliness. “Not right now baby, I’m busy. I have to get this completed by tomorrow and if I take any breaks, I won’t be able to do that” you say, rubbing your temple in stress. You hated school responsibilities getting between your basic quality time. But since heeseung was beyond a perfect boyfriend, he didn’t mind at all. He was just glad you were his.
“Aw my precious is stressed isnt she?” He comes up to you, taking a strand of hair and putting it behind your ear. He was the sweetest ever. you Couldn’t ask for More when it came to him. Suddenly, he comes up to your ear length, sending shivers down your spine. “You want me to fix that?” Heeseung whispers, leaving You in utter shock.
He slowly begins to kiss your ear lobe, sensitivity hitting your cunt as he places his two fingers on your pant-clothed pussy. You gasp, a moan escaping your lips while you rap your two arms around his neck. “Hee..need to get this done..” you manage to get out as the problem of work hits you. “Shush lovely, Just relax” he says, getting on his knees and placing a few kisses on your hips.
He pulls off your sweatpants, seeing the pretty pink panties you had on and how they were all soaked. “prettiest pussy” he gets out before placing a few kisses on your clothed cunt. The pleasure was unexplainable when it came to him, especially when you were left as his cumdump.
He unclothes your cunt, revealing nothing but wetness. Heeseung looks up at you, a smirk placed on his lips as he begins to take his finger and slowly makes It’s way to your pre-fucked hole. “aw dont tell me you were already thinking about me before i came into the room” he teases, putting his middle finger in your cunt. A squirm leaves your lips as he keeps it there for a second but begins to move it eventually. “fuck..all soaked for you” you say as you through your head back, sounds of wetness coming from below the chair. His pace moves faster, moans leaving your mouth as the familiar knot builds up in your stomach. “mm! Hee cumming” leaves your lips as you clench around his one digit. He leaves a few kisses on your cunt before getting up. he looks at you with seducing eyes, as heeseung’s fucked finger enters your mouth, leaving him laughing at how cute you were. “Look at you, so done for it. Imagine how pathetic you’ll look after I fuck you non stop” leaves his mouth as he slides down his grey filled pants.
He was right, you were already done for it. You couldn’t imagine how much of a mess you’d be after his length destroyed you.
He takes off his boxers, cock already hard with pre-cum dripping off his tip. “Fuck my love” he cusses, embarrassment filling his checks “I ran out of condoms, you have any?” He looks away, shyness filling his whole body.
Surprising for a guy who told you he was gonna ruin you.
“Fuck me raw” you speak as confidence felt your words. “w-what?” He stutters, looking at you dumb. “Fuck. Me. Raw.” You smirk up at him, taking his hand and putting his large tumb in your mouth.
Heeseung wasted no time, stuffing his tip in you as you hold onto his biceps for support. Eventually, his whole length was in you , tears filling your eyes due to the painful pleasure. “s’good” heeseung moans as he fucks your cunt raw and full. “Hee fuck! m-more” you yell out, eyes rolling back with pleads leaving your innocent mouth. His pace fastens, mouth open while tears fall beneath your face, most amazing pleasure coming from his cock. The knot comes back, filling your stomach as your fingers dig into your boyfriends, beautiful skin. “m’cumming” you moan, skin slapping noises slowing down by the second. His warm, fresh cum fills your cunt, breeding you in the loveliest way possible. “Mm love you” he gently falls onto you, hugging your body as it was still on the chair. You kiss his temple while playing with his hair. “ you feel any better, my love?” His face all in your neck as he questioned. “Mmm. Way better” you say, placing kisses all on his precious body while playing with his hair.
Even if you were overwhelmed, you knew just who to go to.
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xxlady-lunaxx · 4 months
Text
A gift for Mother | The Shinazugawas !
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Theme: Fluff+Angst (50/50? sorta)
Note: I was going to say happy belated mother's day but this isnt supposed to be happy
anyway, writing this bc the shinazugawa ep was released on mother's day
the Shinazugawas (im taking this off some video so it might not be accurate):
Shizu(30 smth-), Sanemi(13?), Genya(8?), Teiko (7?), Sumi (6), Hiroshi(5), Shuya (4), Koto(2).
×××
For a couple months now, they had been doing small things in order to get a little money. Since their father had died, though it had been quite a relief, it also brought about a lot more pressure on their mother. Shizu had to work a lot more often and barely saw them anymore. Sanemi and Genya were doing their best to care for the younger children while their mother acquire money for the family. Shizu appreciated them greatly, more than she could express. But she made sure to leave them small things when she was able to get a little extra money—and though it wasn't often since she was getting less money than a man would've, it was her own way of showing her love.
Sanemi and Genya tried to get her to stop buying the excess things but she said she just wanted them to be happy. She would buy them books or toys, especially for the others so they could be entertained during the day.
Because of this, however, it only drove all of the children's desire to help her in a way. The younger children admired Sanemi and Genya especially since the two had managed to get a little money from helping around the town here and there. So they all made sure to behave well as much as they could will themselves to so it would be easier on everyone.
It did help a lot and Sanemi made sure to show he was grateful for it. Eventually he brought up the topic of Mother's Day as May approached. 
"We're supposed to get her something?" Shuya had asked, confused. "Mother has a day for her?"
Sanemi nodded. "There's a day where we specifically have to show allll our appreciation towards her and all she's doing for us."
"What appre-ation?" Koto asked curiously, crawling over to nestle himself in Genya's lap.
"Ehm... Like giving her presents or telling her we love her and telling her thank you for being our mother," Genya suggested. 
Sanemi agreed. "Exactly. And you know how we have been saving up the money and not buying other things?"
"Are we gonna buy Mother something?" Sumi asked, eyes lighting up when Sanemi nodded. "We can buy her a new house!"
"...we don't have quite enough money. But I saw a kimono on sale somewhere while getting food," Sanemi said with a gentle laugh. "Tomorrow we can go through the town and look for something to buy for her after breakfast."
"Mochiiii!" Hiroshi said. "The sweet ones!"
"For breakfast or for Mother?" Sanemi asked, a smile curving his mouth.
"Mother! And breakfast!" Hiroshi said enthusiastically.
Sanemi shook his head. "Mochi takes too long to make and I don't think we have the right ingredients. Besides, it's not long lasting. We should buy Mother something that would be more helpful."
"...fine." Hiroshi huffed but didn't push it further.
Koto had fallen asleep somehow and Genya stood, cradling his brother carefully as he stumbled to one of the futons. 
"I have money tooo," Teiko said. She rummaged in the obi of her kimono where she'd apparently hidden a couple coins. She held them up proudly. "I can help buy too!"
Sanemi smiled. "Yes, you can. We'll put the money in a jar to keep it safe, alright?"
Teiko nodded and Sanemi produced a jar which he'd already put his and Genya's money in that they would use for their Mother. Teiko dropped the coins in, giving a satisfied smile at the clinking sound they made as they hit the other coins.
"Where did you get money from?" Sumi asked, eyeing Teiko suspiciously. 
"Uh... Not from a bet!" Teiko said cheerfully with a clap.
Sanemi narrowed his eyes. "Don't do that, Teiko. It's not good for habits either."
"...well I won!"
"Doesn't make it any better," Sanemi said with a sigh. "But alright. Just don't do it again."
"Yeah, yeah, fine," Teiko conceded with a frown.
The night continued onto their normal routine and they awoke the next morning with newfound energy. They were all enthusiastic at the idea of getting their Mother something as the chance was rare and all wanted to please their Mother.
They set out about town in a peculiar line as they strolled through the streets holding hands so none would get lost. Sanemi was carrying Koto in one arm and holding Shuya's hand in the other—wanting to keep track of the youngest two himself. Genya, Teiko, Sumi, and Hiroshi were in a string of children with Genya in the middle as they marched along the houses, the two at the end waving at random people as they walked. They felt particularily proud of themselves for going about and buying something for their Mother, as if they were all grown up.
They arrived, finally, at a market square which had people opening their own stalls almost every day, selling what they could. Sanemi and Genya would come here now and then to buy the necessities for the family so some of the stall owners were familiar with them and greeted them with friendly smiles—most of them, at least. 
Though the other children were tempted to go straight to the food stalls, an occasional glint of jewlery sparking their attention, but Sanemi guided them to where the clothing tended to be, searching through the early morning crowds for the kimono he'd seen a couple days prior. 
Finally finding it, he tried pushing his way through the small crowd. The stall owner greeted them as a couple people parted to let the strange parade of children through. Sanemi glanced over the clothing, barely grazing over some of them as he gazed at the racks. 
Then Teiko pointed excitedly at one stack of kimono's. "Look! That one looks like Mother's!!" she said, breaking free from Genya's hand grasped around hers to grab the top one.
Sanemi sighed but followed her. "We have to stay together, Teiko," he lectured. Then he looked at the folded kimono in her hand. It was a shade of bright yellow with printed flowers along the hem and on the obi. It looked similar to the one their mother already had—though considerably newer and in better shape. 
"Can we buy this one?" Teiko asked.
Genya, who had followed them with the other children in hand, said, "It looks nice. Mother will like a new dress, right?"
They all turned to Sanemi who, being the eldest, was apparently in charge. To be fair, he had also suggested this in the first place.
"Ah... How much does it cost?" he said doubtfully. Surely they couldn't afford such a nice dress.
The stall owner, who had been watching them was mild curiousity, leaned over then. "Buying something for your mother, then? How gracious of you. I'm sure your parents are quite proud to have such children like you," he said with a smile.
Hiroshi frowned. "Father used to hit us, though," he said uncertainly.
Sanemi shushed him, giving the stunned stall owner an apologetic look. "Sorry. I hope our mother's happy with us. Our father died so she has to work more so we're buying her something," he explained. "Can I know how much this costs?"
"Hmm, how much money do you have?" the owner asked in response.
Sanemi ratted out the number, having counted the money in the jar several times the night before. Sumi held the money jar tightly, not wanting it to drop or break and risk losing any of their so hard-worked for money.
The owner smiled. "Take the kimono for half of it."
All of the children's eyes widened—although some were mostly surprised because Sanemi was surprised. 
"But"—Sanemi glanced at the price which sat on a folded paper in front of the clothing, which he had noticed a moment before—"it costs double the amount we have in total...!"
"So? You..." the man paused, scanning them, "seven? You seven are angels, I'm sure, doing your best to help your mother. You know, there aren't a lot of children like you out in the world. Please take this a quarter of the price. Consider it like a hope that your family will fare well in the near and far future. You need not pay more than what I've said."
Sanemi was hesitant but the other children were already becoming restless with all the talk and no action so he accepted it after some seconds of consideration. "Thank you," he mumbled, handing over the money.
The man only smiled, waving to them as they left.
Teiko held the kimono tightly to her chest, skipping along the road as they went home.
"She's going to be so happy!" she said giddily, twirling around.
"Be careful," Sanemi warned. "Don't drop it or you'll get it dirty."
"When do we give it to her?" Genya asked, making sure he had a tight grip on Sumi and Hiroshi's hands as they walked.
Sanemi hummed, shifting Koto on his hip. Shuya was becoming tired from all the walking and was slowing their way home. 
"In a couple weeks," Sanemi said. "Do you think we can hide it from her till then?"
Teiko nodded. "I'm good at hiding things."
Sanemi frowned. "Are you hiding something from us?"
"...no." 
Sanemi sighed but didn't press the topic. "I'll use the rest of this money for our food if Mother doesn't come home tonight."
×××
The days came and went and the children made sure to both keep the kimono a secret from their mother and have it ready in perfect condition. Mother's day had finally come and they were vibrating with excitement.
Shizu had already gone to work when Sanemi woke up first but she had left a note promising she'd be back by night. However the day rolled by and still no sign of their mother. Sanemi made them their dinner and later told them off to bed. Only, none of them wanted to sleep, wanting to present their gift to their mother today. 
So they stayed up.
The night continued without a sign from her. Eventually, Sanemi heard something from outside. It was coming past midnight and he wondered if Shizu had finally come back home. However it was late and the streets were dangerous at night. Therefore, he ordered Genya to make sure the others would stay inside as he went to investigate himself. The youngest of the children had fallen asleep hours before and the others were close to drifting off, drowsy and only barely awake with anticipation.
Sanemi crept outside, closing the door behind him. The night air was cold and he shivered, scanning his surroundings. His eyes had yet to adjust to the dark and he blinked several times. There was a scuttle of footsteps somewhere far off and he froze, listening. More footsteps, closer now. They seemed quick, however. As if someone was running towards him. His eyes had adjusted by now and he stepped forward, out into the street. Then a sudden flash hit him and he felt a streak of pain on his face. It blinded him for a moment and he staggered. Then he heard a crash and realized that whatever had attacked him had burst into the house.
A surge of panic hit him as he saw a dark figure dart through the broken doors, right towards his siblings. The lights inside the house abruptly cut out and he stumbled forward. Was it a wolf? Its eyes glowed slightly and he could make them out in the darkness of the room.
There was a cry of terror and he spotted the wolf, which was clinging onto the cealing. It lunged at what seemed like Genya and, in a split second decision, Sanemi propelled himself towards the wolf, ignoring the pain as it slashed at him. No doubt he was a mess now, his clothing ripped and blood dripping from his wounds.
He grabbed an axe which he had used to cut wood for the fire a couple nights ago. It had stood on its head by the doorway and had fallen down. The wooden handle splintered his hand—it was an old axe, unfit to be of use but the only one they had. He lifted it above his head, trying to hit the wolf.
The animal moved from under him and Sanemi almost fell forward, his weapon clutched in his hands. He saw it run forward a bit, its sillhouette dark from the dim light of the sun which had begun to rise. It was a strange wolf, its figure oddly distorted. 
He lunged at it, hacking at what he thought was its leg. If he let it go, it might go back to his house or to the village. He vaguely recalled his siblings' bodies laying on the floor and it froze him for a moment. The wolf was on top of him, getting the upperhand as he was caught in a moment of realization. There was something about the wolf that struck him familiar. But there was nothing of it.
A drop of his own blood fell into his eye and he blinked quickly, ignoring the tears that spilled over. He struggled to move his arms, closing his fist to attack again. To his surprise, the wolf offered little resistence, seemingly moving slower now. He took it to his advantage, pushing the axe into its neck. He rolled over on top of the wolf as the sunlight hit them both. Then he froze.
The light shone on the wolf's face. Only it wasn't a wolf. It was his mother. For a moment, he thought she would attack him again. But she simply fell back down, the sun somehow burning her skin. He scrambled back, shaking as he got to his feet. His eyes were wide and he felt lightheaded, gazing blankly into the closing eyes of Shizu.
There was a moment here when he didn't hear anything but a strange ringing in his head, his focus spinning, eyes unblinking. When he thought about it later on, he probably had heard but not registered footsteps as Genya ran towards him. Only he didn't know, then, that his brother was there until he saw him, cradling their mother's body in his arms.
"Why did you do it?! Why? Aniki! You killed her! You murderer!" Genya screamed, tears drawing shaky streaks down his blood-stained cheeks. He was trembling as he held their mother. Shizu seemed to be turning to dust, disintegrating in front of their eyes. And all Sanemi could do was stand, feeling as if all his muscles had gone limp yet he had to stay up.
His hand holding the axe had gone lax and the weapon dropped to the ground, only an inch from his foot. Then his legs gave out and he slumped to his knees, unable to process what had happened.
"MOTHER!!" Genya was sobbing. But his words were only a dim outline in Sanemi's memories as he felt his whole world crash down upon his shoulders and break into a thousand pieces.
He looked up and found that all of his mother except her kimono was gone. Her kimono. God. For one, stupid moment, all he could think of was that they had never gotten to show her what they had bought for her. The irony of the situation hit him and he forced down a bitter laugh. What the hell had happened? 
But then Genya was shouting at Sanemi again. Moving away from him. "It's your fault!" Genya cried. "You're a murderer! Murderer!! You killed her!"
Sanemi swallowed. He had, hadn't he? Yet it wasn't fair! It wasn't! He hadn't known—it wasn't his fault. It wasn't, it wasn't. It was, wasn't it? 
He drew himself up to his feet slowly. He felt numb, the pain in his face fading. Only that made it worse.
"Genya," he mumbled, starting towards his brother.
"Get away from me!" Genya snapped, terror lacing his voice. "Go away!"
The words were like a stab to the chest. Sanemi stumbled back as if he had been physically hit. He was at loss for words. Somehow, the reality of the situation had barely sunk in. But now it cut into him deeper than a blade could. His heart stung and he moved away from Genya. Then he ran. Towards his house, however. He had to see if any of them were still alive. He sincerely doubted it as he figured Genya would've stayed if they'd been alive. But he needed to confirm it. Maybe some of them could be saved.
He entered. There was no need to knock, not when the door was broken and on the floor. The lamps had been put out but they were no longer needed as the sun broke over the horizon. 
He knelt by each of his siblings in turn but there was no need to confirm anything. They were all dead. Blood was spilling from their wounds and onto the futons. All of them were gone. He turned to leave, no wanting to see their bodies anymore. Then something caught his eye. Under Teiko was the bright yellow kimono, the flower pattern sticking out from under her pale hand.
He stepped forward, nudging her aside to pick it up. He stared at it, his face blank. A drop of water splashed onto it, sinking in. He realized he was crying. The tears came out freely now and he hugged the dress to his chest, a sob breaking through his throat and into the air. 
Why? Why had this happened?
He wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball and sleep forever. But he couldn't. He turned from his house, rubbing furiously at his eyes. He would have to stop crying now. He drew in a shaky breath, then let it out. The morning air was cold in his lungs but he barely noticed the sting as he started into a slow run down the street. His pace increased until he didn't know anything more except the ache in his legs and the kimono pressed flush against his chest. As he fled, he thought he caught a glimpse of Genya, still slumped down by their mother's tattered kimono. And then he was gone.
×××
The Hashira were having some sort of party. Sanemi never bothered to attend the meetings like this. They were a waste of time. He was better off training then getting drunk and fucking around. However Tengen was quite insistent this time, though he knew not if it were for a real reason or nought. 
Tengen was in his house now, bugging him and chasing him through the halls.
"C'mon, it's only a couple hours! Besides, Oyakata-sama always says that as much as we should be working hard, that we're still human and should let our bodies enough rest. I'm slowly being convinced that you're not human, what with all your apathy and inability to be normal for once," Tengen said, poking Sanemi ceaselessly. God, he was so much like Shinobu sometimes.
"Go away, Uzui," Sanemi sighed. "I already told you that I'm not going to your useless parties."
"Don't be such a killjoy," Tengen chastised, crossing his arms. "Here—let's get you something to wear!"
He entered Sanemi's room without permission and rummaged through the closet. Sanemi growled. 
"Stop it," he ordered, trying to pull Tengen away.
Tengen jerked away from him and almost fell into the closet. When he stood, he was holding a dusty kimono. It unfolded as he held it up and for a moment the two were lost in coughs as the dust flew into the air. Then Tengen waved it away, inspecting it. It was a yellow, dull from time, small pink flowers embedded in a wavy pattern along the edges of the sleeves and obi. 
"Interesting. Is this some past girlfriend's clothes you forgot to give back?" Tengen asked, peering at it. "Or are you secretly into crossdressing?"
When he got no response, he glanced down at Sanemi. To his surprise, the man was standing stifly, eyeing the kimono with a look he couldn't distinguish. 
"Shinazugawa?" Tengen said uncertainly, waving a hand over Sanemi's face. "Should I have not touched this?"
Sanemi snapped out of his trance, blinking. He snatched it from Tengen. "That's... that's mine," he said, his voice tender. He sounded vulnerable and it caught Tengen with surprise.
"So... you are crossdressing?" Tengen asked, trying to lighten the mood.
"No. It's not mine. No—yes, it is. It... was my mother's," Sanemi mumbled, staring at the fabric distantly. Then he gasped, startling Tengen. He glanced up at him, throwing the kimono in the closet and slamming the door shut. "Nevermind. It's nothing. Fine, I'll go to your stupid party. Just go now, okay?"
Tengen frowned. He was still stuck on the first part about Sanemi's mother and it took him a moment to responded. "You don't have to go," he said quietly. "I'm sorry I went through your things."
Sanemi crossed his arms, not quite meeting his eyes. "It's fine, I said. Just go and I'll be there."
Tengen shook his head. "You don't want to be there, though, right? I won't go either, it's alright."
"...you don't have to do that," Sanemi said. He seemed quite out of it, not shouting. It unnerved Tengen.
"Well I will. Why don't we make some tea? We can just... enjoy some silence," Tengen prompted, guiding Sanemi out of the bedroom door.
"Fine," Sanemi grumbled. "Fine."
Tengen nodded, giving him an encouraging smile. "Right. Why don't you go get some tea leaves? I'll start a fire to boil the water."
"Okay," Sanemi conceded and they walked to the kitchen silently.
The kimono would be dusted and folded later and appear with a note at Gyomei's place later, in the room Genya was residing in temporarily. It would be held up to the light as memories resurfaced for another's brother. Then it would be tucked away once more, sent back to the original sender with another envelope containing paragraphs of apologies that went back years in time.
×××
« Word count: 3645 »
tell me you can never to end a writing piece without telling me you can't end one:
ANYWAY I LOVE YOU ALL AND I LOVED WRITING THIS AND I HOPE YOU CRY (/hj i'll give you a hug tho)
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