#the more I think abt this season the more holes I poke in it

[romantichopelessly]

no because you’re telling me that Jesper and Nina were present for Kaz’s final confrontation with Rollins, where he discusses his past and NEITHER of them talked to him about it later?

sure, Nina barely knows him here. I can get that. But Jesper? His best friend Jesper? Nosy Jesper?

But of course, why would they spend time on a scene between Kaz and Jesper, one of the most interesting dynamics in the series, if there wasn’t some romantic undertone. Obviously Kaz can only have solo scenes with Inej and Jesper can only have solo scenes with Wylan.

[carmenized-onions]

Howdy! I’m here to do the thing. Gotta be honest I was nervous that it would be too much but I trust that you will tell me to go away if it does. I have a Monday deadline!!

- We’re at the diner! Oh the callbacks.

- “You stopped being an EMT to take up the handyman shit, then?”

- Oh man, I didn’t realize that this was an assumption that was made by Syd that Tony corroborated. Could that mean it’s not true???? Ring the alarm I have a conspiracy. In my reread I realize this might not be true. Ahh unless??? Nah..UNLESS

- Hasn’t even poked at you for vanishing. Though you have a feeling it’s coming. If not from him, from someone.

- The foreshadowing is delicious. You’re so smart!!

- Richie and you both know that his hotfix handiwork has absolutely contributed to this penultimate mess you’re in now, but you’re both letting that go quietly for now. “You charge by hour or service?”

- I’ve been coming back to this a lot. This feels like such a management/owner question and it shows that although Richie isn’t a partial owner of the restaurant, he is 1000% fully locked in. He cares that his previous mistakes could cost The Bear more money when they are already in the hole with Uncle Jimmy. I dunno, it’s very special to me.

- The Tina/Tony beat is also so special to me!! I can’t even pick out a stand out line because it’s all stellar. Tony is shown that she is cared for and missed, like a “I missed you when you were gone” message anxiety brain dismisses all the nice things to hyper-fixate on the “you were gone” and enters in more self hate. Oh my heart.

- “Is Carmy fine?””I feel better””no the nickname” had me rolling! Top tier comedy gold.

- You nod down at the dish. “Do the thing.” I have to give you so much credit for the way you write food, I know you’ve mentioned that it is something you work really hard on, and it totally pays off. Go little rockstar.

- The care and attention that is put into the individual coffee orders. Ahhh there is so much love there!!

- “I know you’re a Michelin star fuckin’ big deal but like, me personally, I can’t name a thing I got perfect the first time I did it.” This is so special to me. I have tears in my eyes.

- “Your opening night was definitely a bummer from being in a freezer— But be honest with yourself, would you have let yourself have a good night if you weren’t in there?” READ HIM FOR FILTH TONY.

- “Ah, don’t worry ‘bout that, your brother already covered it.” VERY SNEAKY.

- Ah. There it is. For a Bear, she sure knows how to poke one. FANTASTIC WRITING.

- “You’re a real lifesaver.” It’s not Tony’s job to save everyone!!!! Grown people make their grown choices. I will die on this hill. Oh but it’s such a hard message to internalize. My poor heart.

HERE TO DO THE THING HAAAA GOT MEEE. You're never doing too much!! Holy shit that's another chapter!! we're both geniuses!! Anyways, let's JUMP IN doin a keep reading i forgor last time

I won't confirm or deny anything, but I will say, Tony does what she can to not lie. Sometimes she's sneaky. but she's genuinely in my opinion a canonically bad liar, so the only way she can do it is by omission. BUT WHOS TO SAAYYY, UNLESSSSS

Yes to everything abt Richie!! That mf is big on fixing his mistakes, it's absolutely one of my favourite traits about him. That bitch RIGHTS HIS WRONGS!! I wish so desperately he was given a portion of the ownership. Maybe season 4.... maybe.

I wish there were more times I could fit Tina/Tony in. I have in my own brain what their relationship was/is, and I think it's displayed very well in the small moments that they have together, but this one from chapter 2 where they really get to sit in it--- God I love em. I think it also in comparison to future chapters displays the way it takes Tony a second to find her groove again, not knowing how she slots in yet.

SO I HAVE TO ADD-- I don't know if you've read something to do, yet-- If you haven't, close your eyes. so I wrote that break the ice moment to directly mimic the is carmy fine misunderstanding, i really-- i loved so dearly mimicking their first interactions in that

OPEN YOUR EYES AGAIN. I'm so thankful the food writing is worth it. This brisket was based off of the pork brisket a friend made me, basically just like this-- fucking incredible, marone, my GOD. but every time i do michelin shit? I'm in hell. i'm sticking with le pavillion from now on, I can't handle thomas keller's bullshit.

It was fun for me as the writer to consider everyone's coffee orders, a lot of love from me for these characters!! I feel like they all fit p well. if they ever do a coffee run in the show and my orders aren't accurate bro. it's so OVER for me.

Tony fuckin' took Carmen to task, this chapter-- Which is so funny in retrospect. It makes perfect sense why she did-- but it just makes me think of like, if Tony watched someone else get fucking BLASTED in her place in Just Dropped--- BROO,,,, SHE WOULD'VE BEAT HIS ASSSS

I'M A LITTLE SNEAKKKYYY, I'M A LITTLE SNEAKY LITTLE BEAR POKING SNEAK!!!

And 100% very much so it aint Tony's fuckin responsibility, and I hope one day this saviour complex bitch will get that lesson. fingers crossed on the keyboard, truly.

[suncaptor]

why is it so distressing for you to think about cas and balthazar? just asking cos you're the only person i've seen with strong feelings abt balthazar at all

I really view Cas killing Balthazar as one of the worst things he’s done because there was no point to it. Cas was feeling horrifically betrayed and decided the correct thing to do was stab his friend in the back.

I think part of this is just... Cas has so many times in which he is attacked or betrayed by his family. Like this is pretty consistent throughout years of his characterisation. He never wanted to kill other angels like that is not something we see him take pleasure in. Consistently, he tries while fighting and killing them to try to get them to stop. This is often while they are an active threat, engaged in combat. 

Now, we often don’t actually see how close Cas and other angels are, but with Balthazar, it is quite noted they are close friends. Not only this, Balthazar clearly knows Cas. He knows Cas in a way that pokes holes in Cas’s plans in a way that is actually in fact logical as well (rather than say Dean who is mostly just reacting off feelings of betrayal). Balthazar sees that Cas is lying immediately, when Sam and Dean didn’t the entire season or whatever, not being he trusts Cas less, but because he knows Cas, so he knows Cas is a bad liar. Like there is actually a depth of intimacy between the two of them that is quite rare for Cas to experience outside tfw. 

Balthazar’s betrayal of Cas is not out of malice towards Cas, but honest concern for what Cas’s plans are and the knowledge that when (he believes) Cas will fail, it will destroy Cas anyways in the process.

But when Cas kills him, he is working completely emotionally, and in fact, (if anything) misdirecting the emotions. He stabs Balthazar in the back, and he does so after Balthazar has already effectively betrayed him. There isn’t any real reason for it, and Balthazar is not expecting it. Like he goes on the assumption that betraying Cas is putting his life at risk and he logically sees how it could end in his death, but he is 100% shocked and not prepared for that reality when it occurs.

I also really do like Balthazar and would have loved to see more of him and Cas interact tbh, but I think the reason it’s so distressing is that Cas really did literally murder a close friend/family for no logical reason, just an emotional response of being hunted and betrayed by everyone closest to him.

[toxicsamruby]

your thoughts are all so interesting!!

i'm an eldest daughter (🙄 not saying there's anything special about that. i just don't have the younger sibling experience) but I've always related to sam and i think it's because for a long time, self-esteem issues defined me. i felt like i was rotten to the core, but never could decide if me being fucked up is my fault and i could change with sheer willpower, just by myself, or if I'm just inherently evil and this is my nature (hurting others, being a failure) and I'll never change. i think a lot of people who had periods in their lives when they felt like monsters will see sam being chosen by lucifer and condemned for his sins and starting to believe he should be condemned and see themselves in sam

also in s1 and 2, sam's resentment towards john and his rage is v much like mine?? :/ it might make sense for the younger sibling who sort of had their older sibling as a shield, who was protected in certain ways, to see the abuse or at least the unfair treatment from a parent and run away and be angry at that parent right up until they die. but it's not a younger sibling specific experience to have with your parents lol all i'm saying is, this is a thing to identify with, no matter your place in the family

so i would say people can relate to sam as much as they relate to dean, it's just easier to see dean as whoever you want to see him. or something

no yeah absolutely that makes a lot of sense and thank u for sharing! that first part about self esteem and monstrosity has always been one of my favorite conflicts integral to sam's character like more broadly the idea about evil being innate and all the social and philosophical baggage that comes with is a really important and interesting one that (imo) is never explored as much as it should be (although i have NEVER seen a show that went so out of its way NOT to explore it). thats also why sam is shafted in the later seasons bc there's no way to genuinely explore him as a character without seriously exploring that idea and to seriously explore that idea pokes a massive hole in the entire premise of the show.

re: what u said abt very early seasons dean isnt able to stick up for himself until after his abuser is already dead whereas sam is vocally angry and acts in ways that are destructive to the family unit. i am of course not passing a value judgement on either of these responses but that anger makes sam a less than perfect victim. which is relatable to many people! but it's also something that a lot of people hold against sam and i think there's something slightly romantic (for lack of a better word) about dean as a perfect victim that fans can then use to project any other ideas or feelings abt victimhood they may have. i dont know! i dont know

[axelsandwich]

no I don’t feel like I can’t speak my true opinions. let’s break this down.

i think it’s always important to recognise the kind of comment you want to make & your expectations around the responses to them.

subjective comments: arguments around subjective views will never reach a conclusion because it’s subjective. eg. you prize a correct edge & jumping technique. that won’t convince a zhenya fan who loves her musicality enough to disregard those flaws. both these viewpoints are okay to have bc they’re subjective. you’re allowed to simply like a skater while fully acknowledging they’re not perfect (eg. kaetlyn) or without any reason (sometimes you just viscerally like/dislike them!). some people like having friends with differing viewpoints, others might only want a tlist that speaks positively of their fave and you kind of just have to accept that the latter may unfollow you. I always perceived of my tlist to be the former type and while I can’t control what others do, I really hope that’s the impression I give off, even if I sometimes may speak jokingly/hyperbolically abt eg. liking LGC. 

either way, I guarantee you’ll find other people who share your view even if they may (sometimes) be smaller in number. isn’t that better than pretending to like someone you don’t, just to fit in?

i don’t always share what I feel publicly precisely because some of it is subjective & will start pointless discourse. that’s just risk calculation. you can’t control what other people say or do, you can only control your own environment. block or mute people if you need to or save certain comments for more private, controlled environments where you trust the people involved. people who attack others are not right, but they’ll always be there. if you’re noticing that you’re consistently getting attacked despite taking those measures, either you have some really sad persistent antis or it might be worth self-examining to see if you’re doing any of the stuff below (which would - sometimes justifiably - cause people to call you out).  my policy is also to never post anything I wouldn’t say to a skater’s face and/or would be ashamed for them to read

veiled subjective comments: cause lot of discourse because it’s framed as an ‘objective’ comment but actually just thinly veiled dislike and it’s usually hypocritical or cherry-picking evidence (eg. ‘hanyu’s way too old to be winning more medals’ and never applies the same criticism to eg. kolyada). I think it’s understandable why those sorts of comments piss people off, even if arguing is kind of futile so I usually ignore them (but sometimes I can’t resist poking at the gaping holes in their “logical” arguments)

‘loaded comments’: it’s obnoxious when people engage in ‘loaded’ topics/questions (eg. X deserved to win, X was over/underscored) that go against the general narrative without substance to back up their claims or engaging with existing arguments (eg. people claiming alina won fairly w/o addressing the PCS inflation surrounding her all season. there are valid arguments to be made to offset that, but if you don’t address them, you come across as more ignorant than persuasive).  If you can’t engage properly (eg. if someone’s pulling out stats and data to argue why X is underscored and you're like ‘no X is overscored’ w/o substantive arguments of your own), it’s better not to start the fire/engage or at least start the fire in the comfort of your own home - privately - if all you wanted to do was bask in its warm glow and not have to deal with people angry that you’re starting a fire in the forest, if you’ll allow me to painfully extend the metaphor. public twitter is not a ‘private’ place.  critical comments: constructive/critical takes are generally not personal attacks so you shouldn’t feel afraid to post that, but there’s a line where criticism (even valid criticism of eg. scoring) becomes nasty. And if you’re downright wishing for other skaters to fall or being happy abt skaters’ injuries so your faves can win, that’s gross behaviour and you should expect to be called out for it if you post it publicly (and just generally just really unsportsmanlike thinking)

but if your comments are none of the above and you’re still afraid of getting bashed...find better friends tbh. if you’re hanging out with people who make you afraid to speak your mind or be openly enthusiastic for a skater or have your viewpoint dismissed or diminished just because you dare to like yuzuru (or any other skater... but lbr this mostly applies to fanyus), it’s toxic and makes me sad if you feel this way because I certainly don’t with the people I talk to, even if we may disagree on things. 

[juuheizou]

13!

13. talk about an au or story you came up with

oh boy!! so idk how done my followers are w my relentless au nonsense, but im gonna talk abt tabula rasa bc i have not been able to update it bc senior exhibitions and school things are taking up all the time i would spend writing and doing things i like to do, so i have so much pent-up excitement abt this au!!

alright so i have been bitter and done w tg:re canon since somewhere in the 80-90 chapter zone, and one fine day i was watching cop shows (criminal minds season 12 had just been released on netflix so i had to catch up lmao) and as i was watching the reid arc unfold i was like “now this is how u use amnesia as a plot device” and “man something like this would be so much cooler than what happened in tg”. 

being the avid crime/police show watcher i am, i have been experimenting w tg aus where the police element (w the ccg and all) is more cop show-ish since the dawn of time, and i had already been poking holes in the whole post-Rushima mutsuki thing in anger, so i ended up fleshing out an au where mutsuki is actually more or less innocent but between remembering things in pieces and the person behind making it seem like hes a homicidal monster being damn good at it, he has to go through hell to prove it. i dont wanna spoil my fic, but thats the idea!!

i am also kinda proud of my antagonist. tbh none of the canon villains could pull off what she does bc Ghouls Are Impractical Af (i could write an essay on this but i will spare u). i am excited to play around w a cold and pragmatic villain who is a good criminal more than a big kagune (not that big kagunes arent cool but i do think ishida can sometimes fall into a pattern of just endlessly one-upping his last big scary kakuja monster). she is terrible and i hope ppl will love to hate her as much as i do.

i am really excited to start writing it more again (probably after graduation rip) bc i have so much terrible-but-cool stuff lined up and am really eager to get to it!! 

ouch this turned out v long!! i hope that’s ok!! tysm my dude!!