#the mtv interviewer getting annoyed

[monkee-mobile]

Get ready for it…

Get ready for it…

!!!

[bredforloyalty]

the last few years have been a nice detour* but i think it's time to get back to being cringe

*: not that i wasn't cringe recently just that i need to crank it up and lose followers also

[partycatty]

i need more dark star johnny IF U CAN 🙏🙏

or! therapy <3

dark star!johnny cage > nobody else

expanding on this post, specifically when i mention how unfair he is regarding attention from others

warnings: again, abusive relationship. johnny being annoying. smut w degradation and sadism (not explicitly consented to)

notes: guys i'm starting to think we can't fix him...

masterlist &lt;3

part 1*/ part 3* / part 4* / part 5* / part 6*

•dark star!johnny cage, as previously mentioned, loves having you hang off of his arm like a pretty handbag. you're his accessory on the red carpet and he prefers to keep it that way. he'll strut and pose while you stand behind him and look pretty.

•you guys are getting ready for the red carpet event that leads into a cast interview for ninja mime 3.

•"i can't have you looking too good, sugar. you'll take all the attention." he says as you twirl around in your fancy dress, one that's sure to match his outfit. when you guys are in public, you need to match. it's like his only requirement. it's not a hard task either, since this man's wardrobe is DIVERSE. he's got that stupid coat in all colors

•god that coat is so stupid and dumb and oversized he's such a cornball but GOD DO YOU LOVE FUCKING HIM WHILE HE KEEPS IT ON LMFAO SORRY ANYWAY

•johnny's hand rests confidently on the small of your back, though he's doing it to guide you rather than comfort you. he discreetly uses it to move you along, but stops in his tracks at a young girl holding an MTV labeled microphone. she looks to be about nineteen, maybe twenty. she smiles, batting her lashes at your boyfriend and pays minimal attention to you.

•i should say, you have your chunk of fame, but it's from being johnny's girlfriend. only his real fans know your name. it's always been "johnny and his latest fling," "cage's match," "johnny and that one girl." this was fine with you. your boyfriend would prefer it that way.

•back to the girl, though. she stands, a little nervously on the carpet waiting to catch actors, and ended up scoring the lead star. she introduces herself and opens by saying she won an MTV raffle to interview celebrities on the red carpet. she's awkward, but her smile is bright and her body is defined under her little dress.

•johnny makes an obvious effort at showing his interest in her, lowering his sunglasses down his nose and drinking in her view top to bottom and back again. you can't argue back. you won't argue back. not in public. smiling a sweet smile, your fingernails dig into your palms.

•"aren't you the cutest little thing?" johnny says, grabbing her face and leaning in close. "could just eat you up." and the girl almost collapses at his advance, knees buckling as she anxiously reads through the bland interview questions. johnny smirks that classic smirk and answers in his typical fashion, referring to himself as "sexy face" and "the boom" as he rambles on and on about how much work it takes to be as perfect as he is.

•as he's enamored with this complete stranger, you feel a hand on your bare shoulder. you spin around and see one of johnny's co-stars! he greets you with a grin and says you look great, putting a hand on your arm to show his sincerity. it feels warm, it feels genuine. for a moment, it feels better than the love that johnny gives you, if you could even call it that.

•the thoughts are abruptly ejected from your mind when johnny reaches across from you and grabs a fistful of the co-star's dress shirt, holding him in place. honestly, this man probably looks like a peacock rn, showing off his feathers by standing tall and wearing that dumb blue coat. sillies aside, the co-star immediately tenses up and puts his arms up in a surrender pose. johnny pauses and looks around, people are horrified at the sight and what could've come of it. his eyes lead to you, and he groans to himself, releasing the other man and grabbing your wrist, not hard enough to raise eyebrows but enough to tell you he was fuming. his giant sunglasses conceal his furrowed brows and glaring eyes. if there's one thing he'd save, it'd be his reputation. the last thing he wants is an assault charge on a co-star, so who better to take it out on than his girlfriend?

•johnny pulls you away from the cameras and ogling eyes, slamming the door to the women's bathroom and locking it. almost immediately, he's towering over you, holding you by your shoulder against the door and pointing in your face with the other.

•"you're a fucking whore," he says with a nasty tone. "you enjoy getting men's attention, don't you? you just love pissing me off." he grabs your face, squishing your cheeks but it's nowhere near a cute gesture. "who do you belong to?"

•"you—" you muffle out, afraid to look at him when he gets like this. the sunglasses make it easier. that is, until he tucks them into the collar of his shirt to get a better look at you. his eyes are animalistic, wildly infuriated that you even bothered to give another man a smithereen of attention. "i belong to—"

•SMACK. johnny backhands you, the ring sending a nasty red streak across your face. you whimper, legs weakening. it's just a damn shame you're a masochist, huh?

•"speak up," he commands, now caressing that part of your face. "i'm only asking one more time. who do you belong to?"

•like some kind of sick and twisted game, johnny's hand lifts one of your legs, holding it up by your thigh. before you'd get the chance to use your voice properly, his hand expertly lifts up your skirt enough to swipe two fingers across your shamefully wet panties. you yelp out and grab hold of his sleeves to stabilize yourself. he chuckles breathily, momentarily forgetting to be angry.

•he watches your face contort as he applies pressure with two rough fingers on your pulsating clit. it's like he's trying to make responding difficult. you put a hand over your mouth to muffle your noises of protest, but johnny removes your hand and pins it above your head. he uses his legs to divide yours, the closeness now intoxicating with his expensive cologne. you can feel his hot, hard cock on your thigh, but we'll get to that later.

•"not... not here–" you try to protest, but end up involuntarily moving your hips to relieve the pressure he's putting on your clit. johnny, still mad but now also amused, leans into your ear.

•"you wanna be a whore? i'm gonna make you one, whether you like it or not."

•johnny removes his hand from your panties and admires the shine on the pads of his fingers. he chuckles and forces them into your mouth, which you lick reluctantly, looking downward.

•"eyes on the prize," he purrs, making you look up at him through your lashes.

•"i'm sorry," you mumble out, a trail of saliva from his fingers dribbling down your lips when he pulls them away. "i belong to you, sir."

•"fuckin' prove it then," he replies in a deep grumble, one his other hand to push you to your knees by your neck and the other fumbling with his stupidly large belt. his cock springs free, and you swear that thing is never not hard. homeboy's probably gettin ED at 39.

•both good and bad johnny strike me as a 7.5 incher, cut with a pink tip and a slight curve. and yes, he waxes. of course he waxes, have you looked at the fucker?

•should also mention, when it comes to sex, he is entirely focused on himself. very rarely will he eat you out or rub your clit as he fucks you, unless he's trying to prove a point that he can treat you better than any other man. tragically, he's treating this instance as a need for a punishment, where you need to serve him.

•he holds your pretty hair together like a ponytail and pushes you forward, pressing his flushed tip against your pillowy lips. he doesn't even need to say "open," you do so willingly and hold your tongue out the way he likes.

•"you gonna take me like the slut you are?" johnny asks with a little groan as his tip smacks against your tongue. all you can do is nod before he thrusts, his shaft being caressed by the fleshy insides of your mouth. you curse yourself mentally for not fixing that gag reflex he hates so much as you do indeed gag on his dick while it hits the back of your throat. you silently wish he got into the habit of easing himself in rather than shoving full force.

•even though dark star!johnny is more dominant, he still whimpers, even if he hates to admit it. when the tip kisses the back of your throat, he lurches forward a tad, letting out a sweet whimper before composing himself again.

•also i'm so glad the mk fandom just all agrees he whimpers isn't that so funny

•"you gonna start sucking, or am i fucking that pretty face myself?" he asks through gritted teeth, thrusting a little deeper to warn you. you gag again and try your hardest to shake your head.

•"good girl, for once," johnny mumbles. "sit still."

•johnny removes his throbbing cock from your throat, only for a moment. still holding your hair back, he gently thrusts his tip repeatedly against your lips, shuddering when he feels the groove of the head pop in and out as it catches on your lips. his salty precum coats your tongue, which you kitten lick up straight from the slit. his lips part to let sweet moans drip out, eyeing you down and pleased with his actions.

•he pulls out fully for a moment, fumbling in his front pocket to grab his phone and hitting record with the camera aimed down at you. he smiles wickedly, biting his lower lip.

•"you better suck me off nice and good, doll, or the whole world is gonna see what a little slut you are," he growls, reaching down to grab your chin and angle you upward. you make eye contact with the camera and open your mouth, letting your tongue loll out. johnny places a thumb on your tongue and presses down, admiring the view. his hand moves back down to his cock, stroking it a couple times before smacking it on your cheek.

•"what if someone hears us?" you whisper out, eyelids fluttering. johnny scoffs and rubs himself against your warm tongue again.

•"then they'll know i own you," he replies with a smile. "open." and so you open your mouth even more, and johnny thrusts himself into you again, this time at a less than sweet pace.

•since it's not the first time, you're sure to look up at the camera as he uses your mouth relentlessly. johnny's hand pushes down hard on the back of your head, forcing you to take his full dick down your throat for a couple of seconds. you gag again despite your best attempts to hold your breath, and his head leans back as he lets out a long, breathy moan.

•"you're fuckin' killin' me here," he moans out, head still thrown back. "ohh, you know i hate doin' this to you, but you gotta know not to toy with me. gotta learn your lesson, yeah? yeah?"

•as he asks you, he places a crisp, firm smack on your cheek again with his dick still inside, making you yelp again. the vibration of your voice rattles his shaft and it makes him twitch, his thighs buckling inward. you have to hold onto his hips so you don't topple over.

•after some time of ruthlessly throatfucking you, you feel his thigh muscles tense up and his thrusts grow increasingly more staggered. his cock doesn't reach the back of your throat as rhythmically as it did and he was starting to lean over you, pushing his hands on the sides of your neck to keep him upright. his delicious moans and groans start turning into breathy whimpers as he desperately chases his release. you feel yourself getting lightheaded from the lack of breathing, only able to get gasps of air in between his cock stuffing your mouth. you look straight ahead for a moment and stifle a laugh at a ring of your lipstick painting the base of his dick.

•pocketing his phone momentarily, johnny uses a hand to pull the bottom of his shirt up to his teeth, biting down on it and revealing his gorgeous, glowing torso. his eyes clench shut as he leans forward again with the bundle of cloth in his mouth.

•"— ngh — 'm not having you ruin th' shirt, was expensive — oh, fuck —"

•all you can do is let out pathetic gurgling noises and gasps as you're used like a fleshlight. johnny starts to struggle holding the phone upright, so he hands it to you with shaking hands.

•"hah... you record," he commands breathily, shoving the phone into your palm. at this point too cock-drunk to protest, you flip the camera and angle it toward yourself like a high-angle selfie. you bat your damp lashes as prettily as you possibly can given the circumstances. johnny wipes your dripping mascara with his thumb.

•on a home stretch, johnny picks up the now brutal pace and you try hard to not scrape your teeth along his shaft but it gets increasingly difficult to angle your mouth properly. he bites down hard on the shirt, face scrunching up as he reaches his orgasm.

•leaning over your body, johnny lazily thrusts into your mouth and you feel his hot, sticky semen coat the walls of your throat. he lets out a little gasp at each pulse of his cock, and you take his moment of vulnerability to suck him dry, feeling him throb hungrily. when he's fully emptied, you remove yourself and swallow, confirming the action by opening your mouth and showing the camera. johnny's tip leaks even after pulling out, twitching upward as he rides the final waves of his high.

•johnny lets out a long sigh, running a clean hand through his hair and fixing what strands were stuck to his forehead. his cheeks are flushed and his mouth is agape as he catches his breath. when he feels okay to speak again, he doesn't even look down at you.

•"if... i catch you like that again," he lazily threatens, head tilted back and eyes on the ceiling. "i won't be so nice. are we clear?"

•you swallow the last bit of saliva mixed with his fluid and nod before replying with a clear "yes, sir." johnny looks back down at you, pleased by your once beautifully done hair now ruined from his doing. your mascara ran down your cheeks and your lipstick was barely clinging onto your lips.

•"brought your makeup?" he asks, stuffing his half-hard dick back into his pants. you nod and pull out the makeup you needed to touch up. "good girl. get yourself fixed up, we've been gone a while."

•you lean forward in the bathroom mirror without a word of protest, wiping your face with your fingers and reapplying your makeup to not raise suspicion.

•johnny towers behind you, smoothing down your hair with two hands as he admires you in the reflection. his hands wander a bit, squeezing your breasts from behind as he presses his hips into your ass. he was always uncharacteristically touchy and sweet after intimacy, as if it was a shitty apology for his roughness. he kisses your shoulder, trailing up to your neck and then your cheek.

•"you know i love you, right?" he asks into the soft flesh of your cheek. "nobody else can have you like this. i'll kill anyone that tries. you're mine, sweet thing."

•he wraps his arms around your waist and rocks you gently as you touch up your makeup. he seems pleased that you got your lesson of the night, even though johnny's co-stars were now scouring the red carpet to relocate him. you two just hoped that your flushed cheeks and damp skin disappears before someone started knocking.

•"if you ever try to pull anything with another man, i'm posting that video," he whispers with a sickeningly sweet tone, kissing your cheek and parting from your body. "now come on. i have an interview."

[retnym]

WORLD TOUR- .01

"Gosh, you just couldn't keep our names out of your mouth."

Flashing lights, loud talking, humid air, crowds full of paparazzi; all screaming to get you to look their way. My breath hitched as I stood up straighter, feeling the fabric of my dress finally move down as it had been tight against my torso. My manager thought it’d be a good idea to go with a tight red dress for the premiere of my new movie. Something I highly wanted to decline but I didn’t know until the last minute. 

“[Name]! This way!” A dark-haired lady calls me, her microphone in hand. This was someone that my friend, Emma warned me of. Heading over to her, she gives a quick side hug and has us stand so the camera sees both of us. “How are you, you look amazing!” 

How am I? Well to be serious, I am horrible. This dress is squeezing me in what feels like all the wrong places. The flashing lights, it feels like I’m going to go blind with only seeing dots for the rest of my days. The screaming, having to look everywhere all at once. And last but definitely not it, missing home for this movie. Missing my best friends in Germany for America. 

“I’m wonderful, seeing so many familiar faces, it’s great." Lying straight through my teeth here. "How are you?”  Obviously putting it back to her I start to space out, the loudness of it all being the cause of it.

I wonder what Bill, Gustav, and Georg are doing. Hopefully thinking about me. 

Glancing around the lights are still bright. I wonder if their fingers ever hurt from clicking that button repeatedly. 

“[Name]?” My eyes flicker to her face. 

“Sorry, everything is so overwhelming. The shouting.” I explain, bringing back a smile onto my face. A fake one, of course. “Oh, I totally get it.” She laughs an obnoxious laugh I’m sure everyone hears and finds just as annoying as I do right at this very moment.

“So, how does it feel being away from Germany?” This question makes me raise my eyebrow for the splitest second. It was like she read my mind. “Well, it’s pretty normal to be away just due to all my productions being away or my tours being in the United States. Only thing I will say is I truly miss my best friends.” I tell in a sad tone, at the end though I bite my buttom lip. Picking the dead skin off of it as a nervous habit that most of my fans have even caught on to. 

She does another phoney laugh for the viewers. Gosh, if Gustav was here he’d be subtly hitting my arm or squeezing it as he tried not to laugh. 

“And your best friends, aren’t they in a famous German band. What are they called again?” She questions the name of my best friend's band? If you’re going to interview me that’s the one thing you should know! It’s all I talk about, Jesus Christ, this lady lives under a rock. “Tokio Hotel,” I say in almost an irritated tone but I caught myself in time to stop it and not make her embarrassed or have this end up on MTV. 

“Right, I knew that.” And again with the laugh. Its excruciating.

“How do you know them?”

How do I know them!? It’s all over Myspace! Look on Twitter! Look on Youtube! We have repeatedly told people, over and over and over! 

“We’re childhood best friends! Mine and the Kaulitz twin's parents also grew up together. Bill is my absolute best friend, he literally knows everything.” I laugh, talking about them gives me so much happiness, a nostalgic feeling even though we’re still around each other.

“What about the other twin, Tom?” My face faulters a tiny bit.

“Oh, he’s a friend as well. Growing up together how couldn’t we be?” I save myself from a lecture from my manager. She never understood our hatred for each other and because of that both of our managers told us to keep it off screen. 

The rest of the interviews were just questions about the movie or about my dress. It was like almost every interview. Most didn’t ask about Tokio Hotel because if they did I’d probably sit there for hours.

By the end of the night, after watching the movie I had gotten into my limo by myself. 

I didn’t want to stay with everyone else or go to after parties. I was getting ready to go back to the hotel, change into some comfortable clothes to go back to an airport.

Heading back to Germany, it will sadly take almost 11 hours on a plane. I also get to go back to my kitty, Springroll or Frühlingsrolle. I couldn’t bring her this time since it was just a week's experience so I left her to the twins. Hopefully, Bill didn’t leave her with Tom for too long she might’ve been starved or neglected for too many hours.

Mentally rolling my eyes, we pulled up to the hotel. I lazily got out of the vehicle to another swarm of camera flashes and screams asking me about the night. This paparazzi you can not say a word to. They will twist everything you say. They’re nasty monsters. 

I just want to go back home. 

“I missed you guys so much!” I laughed, hugging my best friends as they were gathered outside the Kaulitz’s house. “Dude we missed you too.” Georg pulls back, all of us following suit. Bill was still grabbing onto my arm with a wide grin. “We saw every single interview. Gosh you just can’t keep our names out of your mouth?” He teases, the other two guys laugh. 

“Did you see-”

“Oh we saw, we saw the one lady.” Gustav cuts me off, and my eyes gleamed before bursting into a fit of laughter. “You guys have no idea how awful that was!” I shouted tugging on Bill as he agreed. We all talked about what I missed or what they should’ve seen while I was in America. It was all pretty wild.

My mother being from Detroit Michigan we go sometimes every now and then. The twins would join sometimes but they’ve never seen every state like I have. 

“We have pictures of Tom with Frühlingsrolle while he was sleeping. He will never admit it but they bonded quite well when you were gone?” Georg explains, pulling out his phone to show me the pretty blurry pictures of the other twin with my all-black kitty laying on top of his chest while he slept. His hat was in his hand as his dreads actually laid down.

I smirk, my eyebrows raised in amusement just as the angel of a man spoke, one of the devil's children came out with my cat in her crate. 

“Here’s your brat of an animal.” He grumbles, dramatically handing it to me causing all of us to snicker. “What?” He scrunches his nose in confusion. “My brat of an animal?” I repeat.

Bill was practically cackling at this point. 

“Yeah? That’s what I said.” He was not getting to what we were saying so Georg takes out his phone again and shows the picture. The boy's face slightly dropped as we all laughed.

“That doesn’t mean anything.” He crosses his arms.

“It doesn’t?” I frown in a sarcastic way making him punch my shoulder. “Aye, unnecessary.” I shove him back.

“It’s okay to be a pussy lover, Tom.” Gustav lays a hand on his shoulder, I shake my head and Tom just plays with his piercing to cover the noticeable smirk he has to attempt to hide his laughter. 

“Oh, I’m a pussy lover. Just not [Name]’s.” He flips me off, I nod. “You could never get it even if you wanted to.” I roll my eyes. 

“Oh really?” He comes closer and I straighten my posture. “Yup.” I glare at him. 

“Never say never,” He shoves me backward a little bit but Bill was behind me to make sure I didn’t stumble further than I could’ve. Before I could say anything else, Tom was making his way back inside. 

After he left it was a tad bit awkward. Usually how it goes. Either we go into full blown fights or tiny weird arrangements like that. We couldn’t stand each other if it saved our life. Surprisingly that was longest we’ve been in area together without cameras or outside people and didn’t fight until the last second but still. 

A World record for us.

Later than I wanted so I apologize for that. I will try to have the second chapter out tomorrow. I hope everyone enjoyed this, it's fun to get back into writing like I used to:) Also the chapters will be longer:) this is just the beginning.

[foxes-that-run]

Dear angry anon,

Below I have some reading suggestions for you instead of my blog, while you read these I recommend listening to Treat People With Kindness.

This ship has been used to bully, makes it difficult for the subjects and distracts from the many talented LGBTI+ artists we are blessed with.

Thank you and all the best.

28 times 1D said Larry is not a thing.

"On the phone to my sister [...] :) she's telling me about 'Larry Stylinson' hahah!!" H on Twitter November 2010

In 2011 Louis said he had a girlfriend in nearly every interview

“originally they were making little fan fiction but then it turned into so many people. Some people genuinely believe Harry and I are in a relationship. We started off just saying really good friends” have you kissed? “No.” Muchmusic June 2012

"This is a subject that was funny at first but now is actually hard to deal with as I am in a relationship. Me and Harry are best friends, people look into our every move. It is actually affecting the way me and Harry are in public." “We want to joke around but there seems to be a different rumour every time we do anything.” LT MTV July 2012

“Hows this, Larry is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard. I'm happy why can't you accept that.” LT Twitter September 2012

“Still months on reading ridiculous conspiracy theories. It's upsetting that I have to read them daily. Thank god for the lovely people on here. People like you reflect so badly on our incredible fan base. Go and waste your time somewhere else. unfortunately mate people like that are a lost cause and can’t stand to see me and Eleanor happy. Shame really!” On Twitter September 17 2012

"I just think it’s really degrading towards her." LT Chatty Man September 2012

"That is a conspiracy fan fiction that's made up between me and Harry." "Well it gets pretty graphic, it's just, apparently me and Harry are together and my girlfriend isn't real." LT Late Late Show October 2012

“But a lot of them are so wrapped up in the conspiracy. Let me tell you now, they'll find a way to put some twist on this interview. I think it's pretty obvious when you see me and Eleanor together that it's real. Think of the amount of time I spend with her. It's crazy that I even have to say it's genuine. 'The truth is, these people aren't our real fans. That's the way I like to look at it.” LT ET November 2012.

"Harry was the initial boy who set us up, Louis and Eleanor as well" Liam i93 Dallas June 2013

"That's photoshopped." So there's nothing going on? "No." H Sunrise October 2013

“The psychology behind the theories are very interesting. That's a fucking annoyance. I wouldn't say it was impressive. I'd say it was f***ing annoying." Louis sugarscape 26 November 2013

“The fact that you work for such a 'credible' paper and you would talk such rubbish is laughable. I am in fact straight.” LT Twitter November 2014

"People think of the Louis and Harry thing, which is absolutely nuts and drives me insane. It's like when you know the ins and outs of what is going on with people it's so annoying when it's so stupid. It becomes like a conspiracy or a cult, the people who watch them and think that every move they make is a gesture toward them being together, and I know it's not true and it makes me mad. It's so funny to be on the inside of it because you know what's what and then you hear all these crazy theories," Liam to Altitude September 2015

"Have a bit of respect for the baby." LT Refinery April 2016.

"This could cause like Global World War III! But I I have to say something. No, Larry's not real," Liam to KDWC 101.3 May 2017

"I think if you really listen to the lyrics, I think you can work out if it's really about that or not, and I would lean towards no." H to Teen Vogue May 2017

When Louis blocked the word Larry on instagram and posted his middle finger. Buzzfeed September 2016

Roman camp asked if Harry’s hand is in Louis MV “not that I’m aware.” Harry Roman Kemp May 2027

“It took away the vibe you get off anyone. It made everything, I think on both fences, a little bit more unapproachable. I think it shows that it was never anything real, if I can use that word.” Louis The Sun July 2017

"yeah so what was that like anyone who wants to write any rubbish about um the relationship between us, but that's just evidence right there you know what I mean when it matters" Louis Lorraine July 2017

"People can believe what they want to believe, but I just think it comes across sometimes a little bit disrespectful to the ones that I love. You know, like Eleanor. And, it's like anything. If you Google "conspiracy" on iPhones - You're gonna get a conspiracy. So, I think it's one of these things that people just love to buy into, But in reality, obviously there's no truth to it, obviously." LT Big Biz Quiz August 2017

"It was a kind of confusing thing to me as I have always been pretty open about me and my girlfriend. But hey, you know." … "They all think that my girlfriend is employed, these people who believe in that conspiracy." to Andy Cohen 7 August 2017

"I can categorically say that I was not contacted nor did I approve it." Twitter July 2019

“Can you imagine,” he says, “going on a second date with someone and being like, ‘OK, there’s this corner of the thing, and they’re going to say this, and it’s going to be really crazy, and they’re going to be really mean, and it’s not real.… But anyway, what do you want to eat?’ ”H to Rolling Stone 22 August 2022

“You start by realising all these ridiculous childish theories and conspiracies are wasted time and energy and then just throw the chicken in the oven to be fair.” Louis Twitter November 2023

"what are you most proud of?" "Freddie" LT Twitter November 2023

“they will not see the truth for what it really is. I'm sure many people look and find all these little conspiracies that happen in life interesting. I'd be lying if I said it didn't irritate me” April 2024 to G1

Seriously, it’s time to use this energy to

Support Queer Artists

[hellcheer-heaven]

Slippery When Wet

Chrissy and Eddie are all set to go see Bon Jovi in Indianapolis. She’s beyond excited to see one of her favorite bands. Eddie is happy that he’s going to a concert with her, but why did it have to Bon Jovi? Out of all the bands that are touring right now, why them?

The trip to Indianapolis would be another hour or so, and Chrissy was having the time of her life belting it to Bon Jovi’s Livin’ On a Prayer. When the band had listed the cities that they would be touring months ago on MTV, she practically begged Eddie to get tickets. Her wish was his command and he made sure to wait at the ticket booth at Starcourt. He wasn’t at all surprised by the long line, this was just customary when it came to the experience of going to concerts. Whether if he was going on his own or with his friends, going to see a group of talented musicians was one of the few things in his young life that made things feel a little easier. From Alice Cooper to Ozzy to Metallica and hopefully more in the near future. Still as much as he could appreciate rock and metal, Bon Jovi was the last band that he ever wanted to see.

Bon Jovi, Poison, Cinderella, and Def Leppard were the bane of his existence. Oh hell, even Mötley Crüe’s music sounded so dumb to him. He tried to give each of these bands and others a chance, but if their discography didn’t click, that was it. As soon as one of those bands played on the radio, his lightening fast reflexes turned to a different station and it was nice to not have to hear them. Of course that all changed once he learned that Chrissy adored Bon Jovi, especially if she ever saw one of their music videos or listened to Jon answering questions during an interview.

Chrissy flipped her locks and sang into her imaginary microphone. “Whoa, we’re half way there! Whoa oh, livin’ on a prayer! Take my hand- Hey! I was listening to that!”

“I know, and we’ll hear it at the concert pretty soon,” Eddie retorted as he ejected the cassette tape.

She pouted, “Eddie come on I want to finish it.”

He shook his head, “Nope, I want to take a break from Jon and listen to Ozzy.”

She crossed her arms, blue eyes glaring at him, “That’s not fair! We listen to your stuff all the time and I don’t complain about it.”

His hand was prepared to put in the tape, but Chrissy was quick to snatch it back. “Eddie I want to finish my song first.”

He breathed slowly through his nostrils, “No way, we’re gonna hear every one of his songs tonight. Besides you’ve been playing his music nonstop this whole week.”

“So?”

Eddie’s brow rose, “Chrissy, look, you gotta understand something about rock and metal music.”

She rolled her eyes, exasperated at his tone, “Oh no Eddie, not another speech. Please not tonight-”

“No, I’m totally serious this time. Bon Jovi isn’t metal, they’re not rock. They’re just a bunch of pretty boys posing as rockstars. Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, Heart, Jimi Hendrix, and The Who; they’re actual rockstars. Hell, Bruce Springsteen is a rockstar!”

She scoffed before speaking up, “Eddie did you take something before we left?”

“No Chrissy, I didn’t take anything. It’s just… I mean…”

She leaned over, “Yeah? Go on.”

How on earth was he going to put this in words? Chrissy’s cold glare was like an ice pick to his chest. He gently gnawed the inside of his cheek. Well Munson, you got yourself into this mess, you’re gonna have to get yourself out.

“Well? I’m waiting Edward.”

Ooh, referring to him by his birth name. She would only ever call him that when she was very much in love or when she was annoyed with him. The former was certainly not the case. His stomach felt as if it were doing back flips while his heart pounded against his rib cage. He felt so stupid! There was no way she would take him seriously after this.

He sighed, “I just… don’t like him, okay?”

“You’ve already made it clear that you don’t like their music. What else is new?”

He tapped his finger tips on the steering wheel, “No baby, I mean… I don’t like Jon.”

She listened and considered his answer, the gears in her mind turning until something had clicked. Her eyes widened as a little smirk pulled at her pink lips, “Are you jealous?”

His cheek felt so hot, his voice going up just a bit “No! No, no, no, no! Absolutely not!”

She snickered, “Oh my god, you’re jealous Eddie. You’re actually jealous.”

He tried to sound mad, but he couldn’t get through as she giggled. “I am not jealous of that stupid pretty boy! You’re crazy! Seriously it’s not funny.”

Her giggles turned into snorts, trying her best to cool the engines of her laughter, “I mean, it kinda of is. Just a little.”

He rolled his eyes, slowly letting out a long drawn out sigh through his nose again, as he gripped the steering wheel. “Whatever, just put your music back in. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

He handed back Slippery When Wet and she held it in her hands. Her eyes went from the plastic tape to his face. He seemed defeated, his eyes focusing on the road ahead. They stopped at another red light, the silence was deafening, not even the outside noise of cars passing by on the other side of the road could be heard. Chrissy reached out and brushed back a curly lock behind his ear.

“Eddie, I love you baby.”

He believed her, she would never lie about admitting how she felt about him. And she was right, he was jealous and he felt so idiotic for feeling like this. Who was he to tell Chrissy what she could and couldn’t listen to?

“I know.” He looked at her loving smile, “I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

She bent forward and pecked his cheek, “I’m sorry for yelling too. And maybe I could take it easy with Bon Jovi for a bit.”

He smiled back at her, “No sweetheart, you play whatever you want to.”

She tugged at her blouse, erasing the wrinkles from the material with her newly painted black nails. He fished through his locks, digits lightly scratching at his scalp. He wanted to say something else, but the words wouldn’t come to him. Chrissy thought for a moment and decided to break the silence.

She placed a supportive hand on his thigh, “You know Eddie, if the world ended tomorrow and I had to choose between him and you: I would spend my last day with you.”

He almost didn’t believe that to be the case, still he was curious, “You would?”

“Absolutely. Pretty boy rockstars like him are a dime a dozen. I want you, just you. Only you.”

His heart felt as if it was going to burst, his eyes starting to get a little watery. Eddie wiped away the tears before the light changed. And so they continued to follow the band of vehicles on the highway, passing by the next series of exits until they found the one that they needed.

The luminous spot lights hit the skies in a heavenly glow, the traffic was becoming denser the closer they got. Thank god they left when they did, otherwise they would have missed the show. Getting a parking spot was a bit hellish to find in the giant city parking structure, but they were lucky to find one. As they made their way to the stadium, Eddie had noticed that there were a number of young women in groups ranging from two to five to ten, possibly even more if they were waiting for the rest of their party. A fair amount of guys were here as well, but he wondered if they were in the same boat as him; still it was possible that maybe they were fans as well. He was so used to seeing guys at concerts that forgot that women enjoy attending as well.

Chrissy was all starry eyed and filled with glee, clinging tightly to Eddie’s arm. “Oh my god! I can’t believe it! We’re actually going to see them!”

He tried to sound enthusiastic, he didn’t want to ruin this night for her, “Yeah, this is gonna be fun.” A bold faced lie, but still there were one or two songs that he liked. Yet he couldn’t let Chrissy know about that, at least not yet.

“Eddie, I can’t thank you enough. My first real concert, and I get to spend it with you.”

He stopped walking, “You’ve never been to a concert?”

The secret was out, Chrissy gulped, her cheeks glowing, “Well, I mean… my folks would take me to those um, religious concerts that preached about jesus.” She rubbed the back of her neck, “I wasn’t allowed to go to actual concerts Eddie. My parents, well my mom, told me that girls who go to concerts are bad. And they’ll be corrupted by the ‘devil’s music’ or something stupid like that.”

Eddie couldn’t help himself when he busted out laughing, “Shit, can our town by anymore like Footloose?”

“No, god I hope not,” she snuggled into his chest as she came in for a hug. “Do you think I’m a poser Eddie?”

Eddie pecked her forehead, “No Chrissy. Tonight’s gonna be a great night. And you what? I’m glad you told me that this your first concert.” He held her close, brushing through her long strands of strawberry blonde hair. “I just want you to be happy and enjoy yourself.”

“Thank you Eddie.”

He took her hand, “Come on, let’s get you a t-shirt!”

“Right now?”

Right, she doesn’t know the basics of concert expectations and etiquette, “Absolutely, if we wait until after the show, then we’ll never get one. Let’s get you a poster too!”

The lines went along, everyone showed their tickets and made themselves comfortable within the impending building. As soon as they made it past security, Eddie hurried to get her to one of the merchandise booths. She picked out a white shirt with a photo of Jon taken from the shoulders up. His handsome smile and piercing blue eyes captivated her, hair beautifully quaffed with about half to a full can of hairspray, and he was adorned with a black button up. Two buttons were left open, two necklaces rested upon his hairy chest. He stood before a hazy purple and magenta background, with the band’s name in bright red letters above his hair. She picked out a poster of the band looking at the viewer, all of them gorgeously posed wearing the most bright and colorful clothing that most bands like them had worn nowadays. Jon being the front man presented the goods, his shirt unbuttoned and his face, like the rest of the members, made him look so enticing.

Chrissy hugged and kissed Eddie to no end, the merchant having to let them know that it was time for them to head to the next available register. With the time that they had left, they were able to find the bathroom and grab something to eat. Eddie offered Chrissy sips of his beer as they looked for their seats. To her surprise, Eddie was able to get them pretty close to the stage. The only thing standing between the audience and the stage was the protective barrier and the security guards.

He draped his arm around her, “What do you think? Pretty rad huh?”

Her eyes examined the small amount of feet between the two of them and the platform. Her cheeks began to glow a shade of light pink, her heart beating a little quicker. Her very first concert with the love of her life, and she was that close. She was going to remember this night forever.

“Thank you so much Eddie.”

He wrapped her up, “Anything for you baby.”

The concert was truly an incredible display of lights and music. Each member contributing their part to make it as spectacular as ever. For every city that they visited, each performance was going to leave the audience in awe. Chrissy’s eyes, like everyone around and behind her, focused on the group giving it their all. The booming vibrations travelled from the soles of her shoes to the top of her head, making her feel as if she were on a never ending rollercoaster of sound. She didn’t realize or notice just how loudly she screamed when Bon Jovi stepped out in all their glory. Everyone was beyond ecstatic to see the boys from New Jersey take on Indianapolis. Eddie may not have been a fan, but seeing Chrissy so happy made his heart flutter. He couldn’t hide his smile and his joy when he watched the way she sang and danced.

The songs had changed from bombastic and lively to slow and romantic. Eddie and Chrissy held one another during the band’s gentler tunes, pressing her cheek into his shirt and smiling as Jon’s vocals made beautiful music with the microphone. Eddie softly cradled the back of her head, pressing his lips to her forehead. Her tears of happiness cascaded down her face, closing her eyes as she hummed at the feeling of Eddie’s lips on her skin and Jon’s voice in her ears. Jon had then addressed the audience, talking about how great it was to be back in Indianapolis, how the tour has been, and how beautiful the ladies were; creating the loudest collective of ear piercing screams that Eddie has ever heard.

Jon flashed his boyish grin, “I bet every one here is having a pretty good time right now.” His eyes went down, blue ocean met blue skies, two pairs of smiles meeting in the middle. “You, yeah you Red, I’ve been keeping my eyes on you babe.”

Eddie’s hands protectively tightened around Chrissy, yet she couldn’t help but stare in awe. Slowly fluttering her lashes and he did the same. Eddie’s lips tightened, a part of him wanted to toss his beer at the singer, but he didn’t want to spoil this moment for her.

Jon stepped closer to the edge, whispering to one of the body guards before looking back at her, “How about you come on up here? You wanna do that?”

Chrissy was already at the barrier before the security guard offered to help her through. Eddie felt his heart sink, this can’t be happening! Chrissy bit her bottom lip as the audience cheered for her, the guard escorting her backstage and over to Jon.

He wrapped his arm around her, “What’s your name honey?”

“Chrissy!” She answered enthusiastically, vibrating with glee.

Jon chuckled, “Chrissy, what a pretty name. You havin’ fun?”

She nodded quickly, she honestly couldn’t believe that she was actually standing beside him. My god he’s so handsome! She felt so lost in those hypnotic eyes of his. A pleasant shiver crawling up her spine as his thumb caressed her shoulder.

She leaned into the mic, “This is my first concert ever! And I’m here with my boyfriend Eddie! Hi Eddie!” Chrissy waved at him, and he had to force a smile as he waved back. “He’s the best! He got us tickets as a graduation present!”

His hand made its way to her hip, “Oh yeah? What school?”

“Hawkins High!”

Jon’s side smirk was still evident, “Oh, high school sweethearts. Just like me and Dorothea.” Jon pointed to Eddie, more or less aware of the seething hatred coming from the metal head. “Eddie, guys like us are lucky to have ladies like them in our lives. Treat her right man.”

In any other context, the phrase “Treat her right” would have sounded great from Wayne or Steve; hearing it from the pretty boy front man sounded like a joke and Eddie was certainly not laughing. He could feel his eye twitch, he was more than ready to hop over the barrier and punch that little shit right in the mouth. Unfortunately Jon’s mouth aimed straight for Chrissy’s lips, thankfully she turned away in time and was gifted with a single peck on her cheek. The stadium roared with applause, Chrissy felt that if she died right there she would be a happy woman; but the clock was still ticking for her.

Jon was about offer another, but she was already making her way off the stage with the guard. She turned back and gave him a wave and blew a little kiss to him before following the large man back and regrouping with Eddie. That desire to fight him was still present, but having Chrissy hold him tightly allowed for that need to slowly, very slowly dissipate.

Jon bowed before his adoring fans, giving his bed room eyes to her once more before standing tall. “Alright, let’s give it up for Chrissy and Eddie everyone!”

After everyone applauded them, the lights dimmed low and they started up their next song. The pounding of the drums, followed by the wailing of the guitar, mixed with the melancholic bass, and finally the haunting vocals of the lead. It’s was one of Chrissy’s favorites (and Eddie’s as well): Never Say Goodbye. As the chorus was sung, Chrissy looked up and held Eddie’s face. Her thumbs drawing little circles upon the apples of his cheeks. Tears began to flow once more, her smile as radiant as the moonlight. He couldn’t stop his own tears from falling, his hands traveling along her back, one making base at the nape of her neck. One kiss is all they shared, the music and the crowd were muffled in that moment. The world had stopped, time was no longer present. All they could touch, hear, smell, and taste were each other. Lips locked in the kind of embrace that could only ever be written in a romance novel. The departure from one another was slow and steady, a tiny line of saliva still connecting them as they opened their eyes. There it was, his smile so full of wonder. Her smile was filled with hope.

The last few numbers were played and then the encore. The band stood proudly before the adoring crowd, standing side by side and giving them a bow. Waves and blown kisses were given before they made their way backstage. The real fun was set to begin in the dressing room and all they had to do was play the waiting game. The more ardent and dedicated fans were invited to party with the boys. Everything was prepared: Booze, cigarettes, weed, and condoms. Jon’s only poison for the night was a bottle of beer. He had a good laugh with Richie, discussing how they had another successful concert in the bag. Once they were ready, security brought back a group of excited fans more than willing to spend the evening with them. The band mates whispered amongst themselves, already deciding who they wanted. Jon’s eyes looked at the line up, his smile fading momentarily. Where did she go?

The old van followed slowly through the busy traffic. Chrissy was trying to fight the need to sleep, her mind replaying everything that she experienced tonight. She couldn’t stop talking about how amazing the concert was. Eddie smiled, he remembers how he felt when he went to his first concert with Wayne. The same amount of enthusiasm and passion was all there.

“I’m glad you had fun Chrissy,” he noted, taking her hand and kissing it. “It’s gonna be a while before we get home, try to get some sleep.”

She giggled, “I can’t Eddie! I’m just so happy!”

“Trust me, getting a little shut eye is necessary,” he stated calmly.

Chrissy was about to speak, but a yawn tumbled out first, “But I’m… not… tired. I’m wide awake… Eddie.”

Eddie batted his lashes, “Just close your eyes for a few minutes baby.”

She slowly nodded, another yawn soon followed, “Ok, just a few minutes.”

He looked and saw that she was out like a light some moments later. Eddie reached around and grabbed an old blanket, spreading it out and tucking her in. Chrissy shifted a bit in her sleep, nuzzling her face into the warmth of the material. Eddie’s eyes were focused on the road ahead, the busyness of the traffic had eventually calmed down. Within a matter of miles, more and more cars made their way off of the highway and main road. The world had changed as Eddie continued to drive, greeted by the familiar stretch of land decorated with corn fields and old trees. He wasn’t sure what time it was, all he knew was that in the wee small hours of the morning, the stars looked as bright as ever. The moonlight illuminating the dashboard, his hands, and Chrissy’s sleeping form.

Uncle Wayne was visiting a friend that night, so they had the place to themselves. Eddie unbuckled her and kept the blanket securely wrapped around Chrissy. Carrying her inside and easing her onto his bed. He bent down and kissed her lips once more before he locked the front door and removed his shoes. Chrissy’s footwear was next, easily slipping them off and placing them aside. He grabbed himself another blanket and snuggled close to his sleeping beauty. Holding her close and playing with the loose strands of hair.

“Edward…” she mumbled.

His whisper quiet voice rang softly in her ears, “Say goodbye. Never say goodbye. Holdin’ on, we gotta try. Holdin’ on to never say goodbye.”

[paolachatters]

At first the daddy thing was a bit funny but also annoying, then it became exhausting and kinda gross, now it just feels absurd and insulting.

Unless you're a white english native or white from a european country we all have challenges when it comes to representation in media. Latinx people have historically been the "dumb hot character" from using our accents as a joke, to assigning stupidity as a main character trait for us, both men and women being used as the sexy ones people get to objectify without shame, usually in undervalued jobs like maids, plumbers, gardeners etc.

And this "representation" has lead to horrible things, I had to go through things like CBP officers asking me as a 13-14 year old if I was traveling to become a sex worker at the airport (and this isn't a dig at sex workers but I was a literal child). So it just fucking sucks that as roles for latinx people have started to change and diversify the media is refusing to let go, to let us be something else.

Pedro has been the lead in 2 huge shows this year, he is by far in the lead to win best actor at several award shows and TLOU is also in the lead for best show in general. He has been cast in several really cool projects and yet I click on an interview and I can't go 3 seconds before hearing the word "DADDY", all this success, all these incredible things and yet THIS is the main topic for him, THIS is the go to. It's so frustrating specially in an ACTORS ROUNDTABLE which isn't a damn mtv fun little interview but something that's meant to be bigger and more serious.

[stradlinnikki]

Nikki x FEM interviewer reader

*your an interviewer for MTV and you notice a certain someone trying to catch your eye*

Warnings:

none!

Includes:

eye contact, flirting

Song for this post:

enjoy <3

I take a seat in front of the famous, Nikki Sixx. David the camera man tells me that the camera is now rolling, making me smile and look at Nikki. "Good Morning Nikki, how are you?" I say while making eye contact with him. "Good Morning __" he says with a smirk. "I'm good, how are you?" I reply back with 'good' and look at the first question.

"So Nikki, how do you feel about your bands new album 'Shout at the Devil' and the feedback your getting from fans?" I ask while looking into his eyes and smiling. He smiles back, keeping the eye contact before answering the question. "Well I've noticed that not many people like the name of the album. They think its 'Shout WITH the devil', when its 'Shout AT the devil. Its quite annoying to be fair." He answers honestly.

I continue to go down my list of questions before it comes to an end. "Well thank you Nikki for coming down today and answering my question, the fans will definitely appreciate this." I say to him while smiling. "Its my pleasure __, thank you for having me." Just as he says that the cameras cut.

After the interview I walk over to the stand where there is water. As I'm getting a bottle of water, Nikki walks over to me and asks If I want to go to the Whiskey a Go-Go with him and the band tonight. I accept the offer and he kisses my cheek as a goodbye.

NOT PROOF READ

~

motley crue master list!

have a good night / day xx

[adultswim2021]

Tim And Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! #26: “Jim and Derrick” | September 1, 2008 - 12:30AM | S03E06

One of the all-time greatest. It’s somewhat of an in-joke; in that a literal first-time viewer might not pick up exactly on what’s going on (you’d hope the more observant would at least be able to infer it’s satiric nature). This episode of Awesome Show presents, without fanfare or even any preamble, an alternate-universe version of Tim and Eric named Jim and Derrick. Jim and Derrick are basically the versions of Tim & Eric whose post-internet career paths had them so desperate to get on television that they became willing to bend to every network note ever given to them. It's as if Tim & Eric’s artistic vision was easily compromised by MTV money.

What we get is a frenetic nightmare of rapid-cutting, sweaty, shallow signifiers of easily digestible coolness, fad-chasing, and lowest-common denominator humor that sells itself with attitude rather than anything inspired. Jim Heckler and Derek Whipple host the show from an MTV-style faux-industrial studio with a DJ and a corporate sponsor in Turbo Fuel. Turbo Fuel is an energy drink that is immediately shown to have negative effects even in the cold open spot (a man vomits with ‘tude towards the camera, and we see blood trickling out of his nose post-chug).

Jim & Derrick are coarse and lazy; so much so that they come off as heroin addicts or something like that. They speak in all manner of embarrassing/trendy vernacular. It screams early 2000s in a way that their show usually doesn’t. They do segments about buying bongs (with Tim’s quotable line “plus, I like frogs”), skateboarding, tattoos, and they frequently cut away to other things that have little to do with scripted sketch comedy.

The only thing that actually qualifies as an in-universe bonafide comedy sketch in the whole thing is cheap and dashed-off, and co-stars a guy who just screams “dude on the writing staff”.* The “sketch”, ends with Jim saying “that’s wack”, then a back-patty musical interlude with a bunch of comedy-related buzz-words rolls out (including Tim & Eric’s favorite: “RANDOM”). They both declare “You’ve been sketched!” into the camera. The entire sketch is encased in a metal border. It gives the impression that the Jim & Derrick Show was at one time way more focused on scripted comedy, but then that aspect shrunk so much that sketches became once per episode, and they eventually started shrinking the screen to diminish the sketches even further. It's a physical manifestation of the comedy being "contained."

*”dude on the writing staff”: It’s LA comedy stalwart Joe Wagner, who did indeed hold similar jobs on a lot of shows, some good, even! I remember he posted on a message board I was on and he hosted a podcast that I remembered being good, even though I don’t remember the name of it. 

Other touches include an announcer who is the same guy from the then-current Carl’s Jr. ads, which were very bro-ey and usually featured Playboy models eating large drippy hamburgers. There’s also transitions that look like they came directly from VH1’s I Love the 90s, featuring internetty imagery like folder icons and whatnot. There’s also frenetic cutaways to a “creepy” old man who makes googly faces at the camera with fake old-timey film effects covering it, to telegraph nasty jokes like when Derrick says he wishes Elisha Cuthbert was his daughter in a gross, suggestive way. 

She’s in this, by the way. Jim and Derrick interview her and it does not go particularly well, with Jim and Derrick rudely cutting her off when she’s about to actually get to say anything of substance. She rolls her eyes and says “great” seeming genuinely annoyed. This is an incredible bit of acting, because a significant number of people believed that her annoyance was genuine, and that the wool was pulled over her eyes. I vaguely recall (but unfortunately don’t have) a video commentary for this episode that aired on Adult Swim’s website. They assured the audience that she was in on the joke, and indeed, if you seek out the blooper reel for this season you’ll see the first time Tim cuts her off in the same manner, she bursts out laughing. 

Speaking of guest stars, John Mayer is in this episode during the fake commercial. I remember Tim & Eric discussing this almost as if they put him in here via process of elimination. Mayer wanted to be on the show and they had a little trouble finding a place for him. He also filmed a “you’re watching Jim and Derrick” bumper that didn’t wind up getting used. 

The commercial is for a GF Spooner, which is basically like a baby bjorn that you strap your girlfriend into. It comes with fake arms that she can cuddle with, keeping your arms free. It’s purpose is to wear at concerts so you can double-fist Turbo Fuels, and hold hands with your male friends. The woman in the commercial was vaguely familiar to me: She plays one of Howard’s girlfriends in the criminally underrated program Austin Stories. I remember Tim trying to make Doug Lussenhop squirm during the video commentary, suggesting that he tried and failed to hit on her during production. When Doug doesn’t take the bait, an exasperated Tim suggests that he’s just looking for ANYTHING to talk about that’s even a little bit interesting. AGAIN: I wish I had it!

Another segment of note is Bradley Needlehead, in the Viral Clip of the week. This is an alternate version of David Liebe-Hart, singing a song about being a crazy guy that believes in aliens. It seems to satirize the lack of respect an MTV-style network would have for a guy like DLH. Though Tim & Eric’s “respect” for DLH is a little questionable, I do agree that they are kinder to him than most would be. In that video commentary, they said DLH directed that segment himself, dashing any expectations of him being blindsided by it. To be a fly on the wall during that session. There’s no footage of this shoot on the DVD. 

Holly Brown makes another appearance on the show; her bit is sorta slight, and I’d wager that it was a gift they were giving her so she could put it on a reel to try and get on-camera announcer work. Her presence fits with the whole vibe; many of these shows will have hot women as correspondents or hosts. The main comedic takeaway from this one is the concept of Tordos Flavor Dust, which has little to do with the actual scene.

The show ends with Jim & Derrick doing a Turbo Boost chug contest, where a hot, but uh, artificial-looking woman, smiles and sprays a keg tap of Turbo Boost into both Jim & Derrick’s mouths. We eventually see blood coming out of their eyes and ears, and they succumb to the toxic beverage and collapse dead on the floor. The woman never stops smiling and spraying Turbo Boost. DJ Drez doesn't stop the beats, either. Then we get a slideshow of fake production logos, including, most memorably, Gregg Turkington saying “Egg Zackly” as a parody of their own “Abso-Lutely” 

This one’s not just in the pantheon of great episodes, but it also joins the ranks of episodes that I’ve watched over-and-over again, so much so that they sorta lost most of their power, so I have to go off memories of how good it was. I recall telling somebody that I laughed so hard at this episode that it caused me to punch stuff that I own while watching it. It’s only with that kind of hindsight that I can recognize that some of the sketches are a little more potent in their satire than others. But the whole thing works incredibly well, and even the weakest bits have inspired jokes and ideas.

A welcome respite from an otherwise lackluster season. Say what you want about season three, but one will forever be able to point to this episode and say "at least that season had Jim and Derrick".

EPHEMERA CORNER:

Jim and Derrick at Spring Break

I forget exactly when and why these were produced, but Tim & Eric did additional Jim & Derrick "spring break" sketches. It would make more sense for them to have been produced for Spring Break 2009, but I'm putting them here for relevance. I don't think they repeated Jim & Derrick on Awesome Show itself.

[tvandfilmconfessions]

Perhaps the prospect of shooting an eight-member K-pop boy band could be a new professional challenge instead of something to bemoan.

The 2024 Met Gala should have been a strictly star-powered triumph for Stray Kids, when the current faces of Tommy Hilfiger set a historic first at fashion‘s biggest night out. Yet amid the glamour, Stray Kids fans — and, possibly, some of the members themselves — were left with the experience marred by their disrespectful treatment by red-carpet photographers, highlighting the systemic barriers still faced by non-Western artists in Hollywood.

The eight-member Billboard 200 chart-toppers attending the Met Gala marked the first time an entire group has hit the glitzy gala together. Making their Met Gala debut in custom-designed suits alongside Tommy Hilfiger himself, members Bang Chan, Changbin, Lee Know, Hyunjin, Felix, Han, Seungmin and I.N arrived at the Metropolitan Museum of Art collectively in navy jackets that would soon reveal the custom ‘fits in various shades of the clothing brand’s signature red, white and blues underneath.

But a few feet away, amid the flurry of camera flashes that surrounded all sides of the Gala entrance, derogatory comments from on-site photographers groaning about the group’s “robot” demeanor, annoyed that the reveal took place with their backs to one group of photogs, and thinking the band would only understand Korean reveal the thinly veiled prejudices that still plague the industry.

As The Daily Mail noted, some paps said people would get “confused” because the group took photos with their coats on and off — a racist stereotype that people of Asian descent are challenging to differentiate visually. One photographer can be heard making his peers laugh after joking that viewers would think “two K-pop bands” attended the 2024 Met Gala. (From this reporter’s findings from the last 48 hours, no one has made that mistake.)

The incident shed light on the unfair challenges international celebrities like Stray Kids face navigating less familiar territory in pursuit of global success.

Despite instances where SKZ easily and comfortably adapted to the American media landscape via live interviews like BUILD Series or People TV, last year’s MTV VMAs, or various Fashion Weeks, the singers still face barriers and a dismissive attitude toward their presence. It reflects a lack of understanding while underscoring the need for greater cultural sensitivity and inclusivity in entertainment.

Most of the Kids’ media experience is with Korean and Japanese events, which have systems and red carpets structured differently than in the States. At a typical K-pop event, press conference or awards show, there is a platform for artists to pose for photographers who are all collectively shooting together during a dedicated photo time. Guided by an MC, host or team leader like Bang Chan, the artists almost always coordinate their pose to their left, center and right for everyone to get a range of angles and shots. After that dedicated time, photogs are left to their own devices to get the best pics.

With this context, Stray Kids did attempt to show love to all sides of the photographers on the Met Gala carpet by staggering themselves so four members were more forward toward one side of the cameras and then turning around so the other four were more forward for the second group of photogs. Also of note: While the photographers knew Stray Kids were a K-pop act, members Bang Chan and Felix grew up in Australia and Seungmin spent some time living in Los Angeles; assuming that an English comment would slide past them (including “What’s Korean for ‘right’?,” which elicited laughs from the paps) is incredibly closed-minded.

While it is important to understand that photographers need usable and workable photos to fulfill their livelihoods, the diversity that Stray Kids bring to a function like the Met Gala should be celebrated rather than marginalized. Perhaps the prospect of shooting an eight-member boy band could be a new professional challenge instead of something to bemoan.

Korean artists have been attending the Met Gala for over a decade, with guests like PSY and Siwon of Super Junior attending more than 10 years ago and, more recently, seeing the likes of BLACKPINK‘s Jennie coming for her second Met Gala this year. Considering fashion’s consistent and growing affinity for K-pop partnerships, even more K-pop groups are likely to attend in the future.

Whether the comments were heard or not, Stray Kids moved with grace and poise on the carpet, and their presence alone reminds us of the importance of inviting and embracing different cultures, people and perspectives.

From the reality show that created their group in 2017, Stray Kids have had an unwavering determination to defy expectations and rise above adversity. Despite obstacles, the band’s overarching talent, humility, and tireless spirit to continue forward are not only recognized by one of the world’s most prestigious events but increasingly felt across the different Billboard charts. As they continue to break boundaries and challenge norms, Stray Kids can show how they won’t just make waves in the music industry, but help reshape long-held perceptions and inspire greater change. 

[dankusner]

Good ole boys

Neil Tennant on Dr, Dre's homey, Liza's hubby and disgusting myths about gerbils

BOYS TO MEN — Chris Lowe, left, and Neil Tennant will drop the flashy theatrics when they perform Saturday night at the Bronco Bowl.

By DANIEL KUSNER  | May 31, 2002

It's a whole new Pet Shop Boys — no wigs, no eyeliner, no lipstick.

"We're not even having video. This time around, it's all about the music," Neil Tennant says in a carefully articulated Northern British accent. "In fact, this will be the first tour where I won't always have to stay in specific places because of all the onstage theatrics."

The Pet Shop Boys' frontman is describing how the gay pop-duo's new organic sound will translate into their live shows.

Now that Tennant and bandmate Chris Lowe are each comfortably in their 40s, they've stepped off the dance floor, picked up acoustic guitars and have struck a refreshing chord in their 18-year career.

Apparently, as champions of the synthesizer era, the Pet Shop Boys were ready for some modifications.

While crafting material for their new album, "Release," Lowe and Tennant retreated to a remote country house to avoid outside influences on their creative process.

"I put the chord changes for the new songs down on guitar rather than keyboard. And Chris started programming drums. Using real drums rather than electronic beats. It all just started to change," Tennant explains. "Besides, we didn't really want to do dance music. We both thought there's so much dance music nowadays. That it would be more original if we just concentrated on the melody and lyrics, and slower tempos. Writing songs is what we do best. And frankly, dance music these days is not really about songmanship."

By taking this so-called "more mature approach," the Pet Shop Boys are hoping to draw attention to their intelligent compositions and their ironic sense of humor.

In a flash of clever brilliance, they recently penned "The Night I Fell in Love," a gorgeous ballad about a gay boy who falls for a famous rap star backstage at his concert and follows him to a hotel room for a "private performance."

"MTV played the song for Dr. Dre. And he laughed and said, '[Eminem] is going to fucking kill them!' But he seemed pretty good-humored about it. I don't see why he shouldn't be. The song is really sweet and warm," Tennant says.

"It was just taking the oldest issue of Eminem being homophobic, which I don't think he is, really. Eminem says he plays characters. And he represents the homophobia in America, which I think is a very strong argument. Everything he does is in character. So I thought I would adopt his method. I'm not suggesting Eminem is gay because evidently, he isn't. It was just kind of rating the possibilities of exposing a homophobic rapper for being gay."

Sly references about the rap world are nothing new for the Pet Shop Boys.

Many suspect the band's name is a humorous take on the nasty urban myth about "gay men and gerbils."

Tennant insists that was never the intention.

"I actually used to get really annoyed with that myth, because people are stupid enough to believe it," he huffs.

"In the early '80s, Chris had two friends who worked in a pet shop in West London. Everyone used to refer to them as "the pet-shop boys." We used to say that they should start a rap group called the Pet Shop Boys because at the time there were all of these rap groups.

"Like the New York Citi Peech Boys and the Beastie Boys. A lot of rap groups were 'boys.' And we thought it sounded like a weird rap group," he continues.

"The first interview I ever did as one of the Pet Shop Boys was when 'West End Girls' was released. A journalist said, 'So, Neil, what about the name? We all know what it means' She told me about [the gerbil myth], and I was absolutely furious. Anyway, I've learned to live with it.”

Working on the new album sadly kept the Pet Shop Boys from attending the marriage ceremony of the century.

"We were invited to Liza's wedding. And we even bought wedding presents from Tiffany's in New York. But we had a single coming out two days later in Britain. And we had all this stuff to do. But we saw her the following week because we were booked on the same London TV show. And then we went to see her in The Albert Hall two weeks later, which was great by the way," Tennant says of Minnelli whom the Pet Shop Boys collaborated with in the late '80s.

And as for Liza's husband, Tennant offers a diplomatic opinion.

"I don't know. My gaydar says that he seems like a manager to me. I didn't really get a gaydar reading from him. But then he always wears dark glasses. So it's hard to tell," he laughs.

Perhaps humor is the best medicine when it comes to guessing about other people's sexuality.

Last year Tennant poured an enormous amount of time and energy into Wotapalava, which was supposed to be the first all-gay music festival.

Unfortunately, it was cancelled when an erratic Sinéad O'Connor withdrew at such short notice.

"We put the whole bill together. And then, the day before it was announced, Sinéad O'Connor pulled out for personal reasons because she was getting married. I guess her gay phase didn't last very long," he laughs. "We thought we could go ahead and get another co-headliner. But, in fact, that proved very difficult. The promoter started getting a bit twitchy about it. So we decided to pull it."

Tennant says there's still talk about mounting Wotapalava this fall. But right now his plate is already full.

"It's a possibility. But there's no definite plan," he says. "It was very interesting — the enthusiasm we got from the promoters. You'd sort of think that the rock business is kind of homophobic in a way. But it was the opposite. Because so many people were really keen to do this. At the moment, however, we're really just concentrating on getting this theater tour going."

The Pet Shop Boys perform Saturday, June 1 at 8 p.m. at the Bronco Bowl Theatre, 2600 Fort Worth Ave. Tickets $35-$50.114-943-8088.     

[signalwatch]

Material Watch: Madonna: Truth or Dare (1991)

Watched:  07/22/2023

Format:  BluRay

Viewing:  Second

Director:  Alek Kesheshian

It's probably a cultural bellwether that the biggest name in music right now is Taylor Swift, who is a fine singer/ songwriter and who is about as challenging as a pair of fuzzy socks.  Like, I get that she speaks to the suburban experience like no one's business, but she's not exactly out there getting angry notes from the Pope.

But not so Madonna circa 1990 when this documentary was shot and subsequently released.  The Material Girl was not poking anyone in the eye, but she was giddily pushing the envelope enough that she was constantly getting free publicity from outraged pearl clutchers.

I was something of a secret Madonna fan around the time this movie came out.  Attempting a persona as a fan of music which sat outside of pop and the Top 40, I didn't advertise that I knew all the words to La Isla Bonita.  That said, it was expected you'd seen Madonna's videos and knew her songs as both were inescapable through the mid 80's to the mid-90's.  And I wasn't avoiding Madonna.  She, uh, was not funny looking, and her songs were catchy, and on the radio, fairly non-threatening.  And, right out of the gate, she started with Like a Virgin, which always felt like it should be dirty, but you had to make it so, and so it landed on regular MTV rotation.  

By the time the Blond Ambition tour happened, Madonna was a household name.  She was famously coupled with famous womanizer Warren Beatty, and in some ways - this spot from 1990 through about 1994 would mark the absolute peak of Madonna's power.  She was regular news in the paper and on national news, having harnessed the power of the easily duped media machine who loved nothing more tan a good pearl clutching.  

If she'd been outrageous to some pre-1989, her twin decisions to sign on to do a Superbowl Ad with Pepsi and then make an erotic-Jesus/ awkward blasphemy video for Like a Prayer wound up in wacky legal troubles and condemnation from religious leaders.  Mostly it reads like a very expensive student film.

All this to say, Madonna's whole brand at this point was "sexy controversy".  Which, when you're 15, is amazing and something one gets very onboard with (and, of course, the video for Express Yourself just destroyed any reservations you may have previously held).  

Now, in this same era, I was the age where I'm trying to maintain a brand, and it was not pop stars.*  But Madonna *mostly* got a pass.  I do remember borrowing a taped HBO concert video of Blond Ambition from a pal and a mutual high-fiving.  And it took zero sale to a different pal who was mostly into Ministry and whatnot to go see Truth or Dare (1991) in the theater.  

Honestly, my memory of that viewing, which was likely early 1992 at the North Oaks dollar theater, was that Madonna seemed way less cool than I was hoping for.  I mean, back then, you only knew musicians through interviews and videos and the paparazzi's relentless pestering.  

The Madonna of this film is narcissistic, bullying and endlessly manipulative.  She claims the role of "mother" to her tour company, but the film also starts with her basically saying "I'm already over it and the emotion everyone else felt here and you'll see expressed here is something I've moved past" actively delegitimizing the experiences and feelings she cultivated herself.  And then we watch for two hours as she works to build an illusions of intimacy with people who mostly seem to annoy her.   

Part of me gets it:  she's the thing at the center of everything.  She literally does not have time for nonsense.   But at the same time she wants everyone to love her.  Even the idea that she wants to be a mother-figure is complicated by the later-investigated reality that she never knew her own mother.  There's no model there.

Watching the movie now, I don't think teen-me was necessarily wrong.  But I'm older and wiser, and while I believe the film is a true documentary of something, I'm less confident that Madonna wasn't putting on a show for the cameras at every opportunity, and that the director didn't play along.  After all, Madonna financed the thing herself and is listed as the Executive Producer.  Nothing in the doc is not something she didn't want people to see.  This is not journalism.  It's Madonna propaganda.  And, honestly, that's fine.

But it also has some of the same misfiring that has plagued Madonna on and off during her career, making some things noteworthy and approaching controversy, and other things just feeling a wee bit cringey.  Ie: Madonna is not always as ahead of everyone else as she believes.  But they all live in a world where it's agreed that if Madonna talks, everyone shuts up and listens.

The film includes bits that are almost confusing in their intimacy and leaves other portions on the table.  Why is the scene included with the awkward reunion with a former childhood friend that mostly seems to focus on humiliating this person?  Why do we linger on Madonna rolling around her mother's grave?  But then - why doesn't her brother Christopher ever say a word to Madonna or to the camera?  He's constantly around, but it's not clear what he's doing other than wrangling his sister.

What I'd forgotten, because we were offered up fresh Madonna on a regular basis at the time of the film's release, is that the doc contains lengthy, in-color, bits of performance from the Blond Ambition tour.  And then you remember why people adored Madonna.  On stage, she's amazing and all the things she says she wants to be - artist, provocateur, den mother....  And while the comparison (the doc portions are black and white) is obvious, it's weird that Madonna propaganda intended to humanize makes her less sympathetic.

The movie is broken down into the starting portion in Japan and the difficulties of getting the show going and forging of relations, etc... and then the US/ Canada portion which looks at the cast in part and Madonna's relations with people around her outside of the cast.  And winds up in Europe where it attempts to finally define how Madonna interacts with her cast, and then a sequence intended to make her seem like an ethereal, unknowable mystery with multiple facets.  But she doesn't feel that way.  It's people who are very young working through their brush with Madonna and her fame-mongering and inability to maybe see other people as people.

At the time and to its credit, the movie was very progressive for its time, candidly showing Madonna's dancers as the gay men that they were - still a rocky topic in 1991.  Especially as the AIDS crisis continued to fill headlines and devastate the LGBQT+ community.  In many ways, at the time, this earned the movie a lot of kudos and legitimacy.  I wouldn't ever want to take that away from the film or its fans, because I very much remember this era, and to see gay men portrayed openly and honestly was highly unusual.  Further, I know much ado is made about Madonna co-opting "Vogueing", which is a fact.  But, also, it mainstreamed a little known bit of gay culture, forcing open some doors.

I don't really know what to make of the film.  It is what it is.  It clearly thinks its about family and community in this weird little world of Madonna's sideshow.  But she also states it doesn't matter at the outset, that it's already over, and you - the audience - missed out.  And for all the inclusion, this is still a Madonna who rolls her eyes at well-meaning people paying her compliments and who reacts to a report one of her team has been roofied and raped with a shocked laugh.  

The only person who seems to have a grasp on what was happening here was Warren Beatty who successfully sued Madonna to have parts of his appearance removed from the movie, and who points out that having a doc crew around all the time is probably dumb, and only really fulfills Madonna's need to be recorded.

In 2016, btw, a documentary was produced that wondered "what became of those dancers?"  We'll seek it out, maybe.  

Is this "the truth" as promised?  Certainly it's *a* truth.  Was I a little disappointed in Madonna then?  Yes.  Now?  I dunno.  It's beyond me, even if I find her a bit unpleasant.  But knowing how much control she had over the film, and this is what she wanted to show almost raises more questions than it answers.

*I've long ago mended my ways, and will be happy to talk Kyle Minogue

https://ift.tt/tWgPpNa

from The Signal Watch https://ift.tt/3dHg1u7

[fastlikealambo]

Bloodsinger: Vampire! Eddie Munson x Black Reader Drabble Part 1/5

Summary:

Out of every news source in the country, the one and only lead singer of Corroded Coffin and self proclaimed vampire Eddie Munson has decided to do a sit down interview with The Hawkins Post. Instead of your boss, you’re sent to a mansion on Halloween Night and you’re in no way prepared for what’s in store.

Trigger Warnings: violence, gore, blood k!nk ,  a tinsy bit of cardiophilia if you squint, 80s workplace sexism

Inspired by: The Vampire Chronicles, Lost Boys, Vampire Diaries, Twilight,  honestly every single vampire trope and cliche is in present and accounted for in this fic. 

minors dni, I check.

I couldn’t stop myself guys, this is so cheesy

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.” You grumbled in front of your boss.

“You better believe it cupcake, they’re sending a car in 15 minutes.” He grumbled right back, blowing smoke directly into your face.

“ Not only did you give my story away to Nelson, you’re sending me on the Munson piece without any preparation? This is supposed to be your story, the one to put Hawkins on the map, why am I doing this instead of you?”

“Because I gotta take my kid trick or treating and we figured sending a girl would open that freakshow up a bit. “

“You can’t possibly think he’s a real vampire? Vampires don’t exist, this is nothing but a gimmick to sell tickets.”

With a barking laugh, your boss shoves a notepad, a camera, and tape recorder into your arms.

“Well I guess you’ll just have to find out for us, won’t you? That band is the biggest thing in pop culture right now and that thing in the mansion is going to save what’s left of this newspaper.  I don’t care if he’s the easter bunny, you’re going to smile, unbutton a few of those buttons,  and get this story.  Do I make myself clear?”

Somewhere close, a car beeps.

“That’s your ride sweetheart, run along and make me proud.”

A man in a suit awaits you when you finally get outside, clearly annoyed.

“ Please get in, Mr. Munson is waiting for you.” The driver said in a monotone voice.

Before you can do so, the driver slips the camera off your shoulder, throwing it to the ground, looking far too pleased with himself to see the shocked look on your face.

“Mr. Munson has a strict no photography rule, I hope you understand.”

“ And I hope I’ll be reimbursed so this doesn’t come out of my paycheck.”

The drive is silent but short as you look over the questions your boss chose while the last bit of daylight fades away. Before you know it, you’re outside of a glorious mansion surrounded by iron gates and a crowd cheering and booing.

The driver opens your door and leads you through the crowd of people, one of which grabs your arms before you can step through the front gate.

“God be with you child, for the dead travel fast.” He whispered, slipping a cross necklace into your hands before the driver yanks you inside and into a sitting room.

“He’ll be but a minute, try not to touch anything.”

There was nothing for you to touch, standing in the completely dark room, arms wrapped around yourself to brace against the chill. 

A sudden gust of wind blows the door open and out of politeness you close it, the crowd having grown in the moments since you arrived.

Yeah, nope, I’m out of here.

“You didn’t sound this beautiful on the phone.” A voice drawls from behind you and you turn to find the room suddenly lit, candles on every surface, a roaring fire in the fireplace that you could have sworn wasn’t there before the door opened.

Straddling a chair in front of the fireplace, guitar in his lap is the one and only Eddie Munson. You’d seen him before on MTV and some concert footage here and there but nothing could prepare you for the truly handsome man in front of you.

“Well it wasn’t me on the phone, my colleague was unable to meet with you so they sent me instead. If you’d like to reschedule with him I can-

“I’d much rather do this with you, please, come closer.” He beckoned with ringed fingers, patting the chair across from him.

You clear your throat and straighten up, all business as you sit down and force yourself to meet his eyes.

“I’ll keep this short and simple Mr. Munson. I know you’re not a vampire so I’ll skip the vampire related questions and just focus on the promotion of your band’s new album, you get the publicity you want and I’ll get out of your hair in less than an hour. We’ll start with some softball questions-

In one fluid motion, he puts his guitar to the side and pulls your chair closer to his.

“And what makes you think I’m not a vampire, baby?”

“Because vampires aren’t real and I’m not your baby.”

You’re temporarily distracted as the crowd outside has grown louder, more people have joined the group, some even in halloween costumes. 

“Who are all these people outside, your fans?” You asked, gesturing to them but he only shrugged.

“Some are, some think they’ll catch a glimpse of the devil if they stick around long enough.”

“And do you think you’re The Devil Mr. Munson?”

“ You know you can just call me Eddie, right? Would it be easier for you to believe I was the devil and not a vampire?” He asked with a smirk.

“Neither exist. I thought I was the one asking the questions here?”

That makes him laugh, echoing throughout the home.

“I like you, for someone alone in a room with a vampire you’re not afraid. Most would be.”  The rocker leans forward in his seat with a mischievous smile at your exasperation.

“I’m not afraid because I’m not in the presence of a vampire. I don’t get it, your music stands on its own, gimmicks are beneath your band’s hard work. Why prop up your art on cheap ploys for attention?” You ask,a bit more sharply than you mean but he just stares at you in curiosity rather than anger.

“Have you always had a heart murmur?”

“Excuse me?”  That question brings your banter to a halt and you put your pen down.

“ Have you always had a heart murmur?” He repeats, cocking his head to one side.

“I was born with it.  You know, stealing medical records is a felony in all fifty states so I think it might be best if we pretend this interview never happened. I should go.”

Before you can stand, he takes your wrist in his hands,  lips hovering over your pulse point.

“I know that because I can hear it. Just like I can hear that pretty little bra of yours scraping against your skin, just like I know that I touch you in three very special spots, I can have you soaking wet all over my hardwood floors.”

“You are way out of line! I don’t know if this is some weird shit rich people do to pass the time, but I don’t want any part of it. I’m not something to laugh at and neither is my job. Good night Mr. Munson.” With that you rip your wrist out of his grasp, gathering up your things. You shouldn’t have come here.

“Wait-”

The sound of the window exploding behind you cuts off what you hope is an apology.  For a second the room seems to tilt and twist until Eddie’s face is right above yours, a large piece of concrete in one hand, you in the other.

You can hear the screaming dispersing crowd and sirens in the background but you’re a tiny bit distracted at the sight of a particularly large piece of glass lodged in your shoulder.

Oh this night just keeps getting better and better.

“ Do you trust me?” He asks, quickly lowering you to the ground, softly stroking your cheek.

“No.”

“Yeah, thought as much. Take a deep breath in, on the count of three. One, two-”  You open your mouth to remind him the first rule of having pointy objects lodged inside your body is not to remove them until help comes but you let out a pained cry as the glass is in his hand before he even gets to three.

There’s a sudden wetness soaking your shirt and Eddie’s hands, and everything starts to get a bit fuzzy but not fuzzy enough for you not to miss seeing Eddie’s eyes narrow and his canines elongate.

 As he licks your blood from his fingers, peaceful blackness finally creeps into your vision and the last thing your eyes focus on is not his face but the portrait hanging above his fireplace.

A portrait of a woman who looks a lot like you. 

[julessworldd]

If you have time, please could you do one with poly guns where they go out drinking after being in the studio and get arrested but she was so worried about them that she's mad when she finds out and let's them stew in the silent treatment?

Warnings: drunk behavior, cussing, arguing, jealousy, kinda toxicish? Depends how you read it. Anyways enjoy <33

The boys were working on there double album before they started touring again. I was so happy for them and growing success, I was their #1 supporter! I was at home trying to deep clean, Duff and Izzy usually help me but they’ve been so busy. Billy Idol’s White wedding was finishing up as I rubbed the counters down. 12AM, the stove clock read, “I really hope they’re not piss drunk”, looking at the freshly mopped floor. I grabbed a Coke out of the fridge, before sitting down in the living room.

Skid Row was being interviewed on MTV, I watched it for a good while before dozing. 3:45AM, Tv was playing gray telling me it was too damn late. I looked at the door, not one pair of shoes weren’t there. “What the fuck?” I groaned, something wasn’t right. The phone rang, making my stomach drop. “Please don’t be in the hospital or jail. For the love of God!” “Y/n, baby! Thank god you’re awake. We need you to be bail us out” Duff said, I could tell he was drunk but slowly coming to. “God damn it! What happened?”, I sighed. “Too much liquor, just hurry please”, Duff said. “I’m gonna murder you, idiots”, I hung up. I got dressed and grabbed some bail money.

“I’m here to bail Guns N Roses out”, I sighed. “They still have 2 hours until they can leave the drunk tank. But you can pay the bail now”, the lady officer smiled. “That’s fine. Can you tell the big blonde that if this happens again at least tell me it’s gonna be a good while. Acting like he’s gonna be traded for smokes”, I rolled my eyes. Lady grinned, “Do you want some coffee, love?” “Please. If you don’t mind”, I sat down.

“Y/n, oh thank god you came!”, Duff said. “Y/n, baby!”, Axl grinned. “Let’s go, I’m exhausted!”, I walked towards the car. It was 6:48AM when we got home and I wanted nothing more to sleep until 5pm.

“Good night, don’t bother me! Unless you’re bleeding and death is gripping you tight”, I said walking upstairs to my room. I haven’t slept there in 3 yrs. Sleeping with one of the boys always. But I was beyond pissed. “We fucked up”, Izzy said.

It was 4:30, when I I woke up or felt like seeing those idiots. I walked downstairs to the kitchen, Slash and Duff were at the table with notepads, “Hey baby” Slash said. I grabbed my cup down and a couple tea bags(your choice of tea). “Y/nn”, Duff sang. I walked out to the pool, ignoring them. I walked back inside as Steven and Duff were cooking dinner. “We’re making your favorite, sugar”, Duff said with a smile on his face. I slammed my door, deciding to call Nikki. Motley was back in town for a bit, Nikki was like my older brother. “Hey Nikki, are you busy?”

I threw a pair of leather pants, hunter green crop top, Doc Martens on. Teased my hair a bit, finishing my winged eyeliner. “Perfect timing, baby. Here’s your plate”, Duff. “Later”, I skipped to living room, shutting the door as Nikki pulled up. “So what’s bothering my little peanut?”, Nikki asked. “The boys got arrested last night for being too damn drunk. It was 3am when Duff called begging to be bailed out”, I sighed. “I’m sorry, should have called me I would have got ‘em”, Nikki smiled. “I still would be pissed, Nik but thank you for the offer”, I replied.

“Just wish they would stop acting like kids at times. It’s getting annoying dealing with them piss drunk, I have five drunks to control. God, you think Axl’s ego and attitude is bad when he’s sober. Fuck me, it’s worse when he’s plastered, Izzy isn’t better. Duff’s seven foot ass with my 4 foot ass”, I ran a hand through my hair. “I’m sorry, Princess. Just breathe, enjoy the ride”, Nikki said patting my knee. Nikki pulled up to the house, “Hey call me if you need me to come get you. I got a huge empty house, you know?”, Nikki smiled, hugging me. “Thanks Nik, you’re the best!”, I kissed his cheek. It was 10:30pm, everyone would be up still. Might as well face em, might not be as drunk as last night.

Five heads spun as I opened the door, “Care to enlighten us on why you pulled up with Nikki?”, Axl asked. “Care to enlighten me on why caused you guys to end up in jail last night?”, I spat back. “We were having fun”, Izzy said. “Same here”, I walked upstairs, slamming my door. 15 minutes later, I heard a knock. “What now?” Duff opened the door, giving me “I’m sorry for fucking up” smile. “Michael”, I said, shutting my calendar. “I’m sorry for last night and making you bail us out. I should have controlled us better, just that we’re so close to finishing the albums. We got happy and went over board”, Duff said sitting on the bed. “Ya think, McKagan?”

It was silent, Duff laid his head on my lap, tracing my thighs. “Can you ever forgive us? I hate when you’re upset with us” “I guess, I understand you guys are happy and can’t wait to tour again. But you guys are in your late twenties, you gotta grow up some. It’s getting exhausting taking care of you guys piss drunk and high as a fucking kite”, I sighed, playing with Duff’s hair. “I promise to do better and grow up some for you. I’m sorry we’ve treated you this way, you are an Angel for putting up with us much as you do”, Duff kissed my tummy that was showing. “Apology accepted, D. Sorry for missing dinner” “it’s okay it wasn’t as good without you here. Did Nikki feed you at least?”, Duff asked. “Yup, gremlin was fed before midnight”, I giggled. “Damn he remembered”, Duff kissed my thighs.

[daydreamrry]

Well, I'm a communication student, and I'm a bit sad for Harry.

He's 27 nearly 28, I'm sure he wants a more mature fandom. I mean, I was watching the lives from the BBC for HS1, and I was like, stop screaming like little girls please, I just want to enjoy the show. (after it went better).

I know he's a grown man. But I'm not sure that he's involved in the all-long process of the communication, of course, he has words to say, but in the end, it's not his job, that's why Full Stop mgmt and Sony are here.

But, from what I see, it feels like, they want him to stay with a young fan base. I get why. They will jump into everything H does, always be on his side even if he does smthg wrong. But they take the humanity of H away. It's easier to get money with them, and it's not a critic, it's normal, (but I won't get into the sociological part, but it's quite interesting)

This is what I'm hoping for him:

- Get back to his roots and find another mgmt maybe in the UK, Ik the US is easier 'cause this is where everything happened, but it's also very toxic. Maybe, find another label record too, an independent one?

- Maybe, do more things like NPR, there are others that he can do like ''Colors'' or even in France there's some kind of concepts like this (yeah I'm French that's why), or the MTV unplugged because it shows the artist that he is and not the image that his team and the media want to paint.

- Same for the interview, I'm sure he's a smart guy, and he can find interviewers/media where they speak about music and other stuff around without bringing every time his private and love life. Be more deep. It will help him, get more relaxed, maybe letting go a bit and get away from the image of the "womanizer" man. And definitely, it will help him get a more mature fandom and be seen by the gp like a grown man and not like a 16 years old boy.

I believe that an artist can be where he is right now and where he might want to be without doing all this shit. It will take more time, but I think it's worth it.

I came because I like Harry's music and 'cause I think he is very talented and has something that he needs to develop. But there are so many gossips, which is annoying, and it covers a big part of his creativity and talents. It's sad for him.

You can hire me if you want lol (but not too long 'cause I want to be a singer lol)

Sorry that was soo long.

🤯

[thesibfiles]

Courtney going on tour right after?

Theres a misconception that after Kurts death, Courtney went straight on tour right away. This is false. The album was already set to release a few days after and they couldnt change that on such a short notice. Promotion for the album was cancelled and she pushed back the tour 4 months.

“Live Through This was supposed to provide Love an opportunity to step out from her famous husband’s shadow. “It’s annoying now, and it’s been annoying for nine years, Love said in a 1999 Jane Magazine interview of always being connected to Cobain. Released four days after Cobain’s body was found, the album’s promotion was put on hold. Rather than retreat from the public eye, Love openly mourned and helped fans of Cobain and Nirvana make sense of the singer’s death. She sat with grieving teenagers gathered outside the couple’s Seattle home and recorded a reading of parts of his suicide note that was played at the singer’s memorial that gathered near the Space Needle. In the days following his death, Love showed a very raw and emotional side and admitted that, like many fans, she didn’t have all the answers. 

It was, and still is, impossible for people to discuss Live Through This without noting the irony of the album’s title. Love has said the name was not a prediction at all, but instead a reflection of all she had endured in the months leading up to its release, including a very public custody fight with the Los Angeles Department of Family Services over daughter Frances Bean. Rumors suggested that Cobain had written much of Live Through This (it’s Miss World, not Mister, just FYI). “I’d be proud as hell to say that he wrote something on it, but I wouldn’t let him. It was too Yoko for me. It’s like, ‘No fucking way, man! I’ve got a good band, I don’t fucking need your help,’” was Love’s response to critics in Spin’s oral history of Live Through This. Love and Cobain often shared notebooks and lyrics with each other, and while there is talk of Cobain’s influence on Love’s work, or the writing of all of it, less is mentioned in the press of her impact on his lyrics and music. Rather than sucking all the life out of Nirvana or threatening the success of the band, like many assumed she would do, she inspired Cobain. Fun fact: In Utero, Nirvana’s last album, was named after a line from one of Love’s poems.

Sadly, songwriting rumors would be replaced by other rumors. Women are often vilified and condemned for the deaths of their male partners. Love, like all women, was supposed to save her partner from death and addiction. Fans of Cobain projected all their anger and resentment over the loss of the Nirvana front man onto Love, and soon she was blamed for not only his addiction but also his death. There are even two movies devoted to the theory that Courtney killed Kurt: the awful Soaked in Bleach (2015) and the equally awful Kurt & Courtney (1998). If you think we’ve come a long way, baby, sadly we haven’t. 

One year after Anthony Bourdain’s death, Asia Argento is still being blamed, and in September 2018, Ariana Grande had to take a break from social media after fans blamed her for the death of her ex Mac Miller. A few months later, she would be blamed for new beau Pete Davidson’s mental health and addiction issues. It’s amazing she finds the time to write hit songs what with all the dude destruction she has going on. When women are not being blamed for the deaths of the men in their lives, they are being attacked for not grieving properly. “She wasn’t crying. She’s got $30 million coming to her. Do you blame her for being so cool?” a hospital staffer said of Yoko Ono following John Lennon’s murder in 1980. 

About four months after Cobain’s death, Love went on tour to promote her new album. Some questioned and judged why she would go on tour so soon, but Love has said it was a necessity. She had a young daughter to support. She needed to work. She also, sadly, still needed to prove herself. “I would like to think that I’m not getting the sympathy vote, and the only way to do that is to prove that what I’ve got is real,” Love told Rolling Stone in 1994.

Twenty-five years later, Cobain’s death still hangs over Live Through This. In the days leading up to the anniversary of Cobain’s death, former Hole bassist Melissa Auf der Maur wrote an open letter to music magazine Kerrang saying she “would not stand for Kurt’s death overshadowing the life and work of the women he left behind this year.”

“We were extremely well designed for each other,” Love has said of her relationship with Cobain. In a letter reprinted in Dirty Blonde: The Diaries of Courtney Love, she calls him “my everything. the top half on my fraction.” The two had similar upbringings, both came from broken homes and spent childhoods shuttling between relatives and friends. They both grew up longing for love and acceptance. When we tell the story of Kurt and Courtney we talk about drugs and destruction, but we don’t talk enough about love.

The two also shared an intense drive and ambition. “I didn’t want to marry a rock star, I wanted to be one,” Love said in a 1992 Sassy interview. Evidence of her drive can be found in the many notes and to-do lists she kept, some of which are collected in Dirty Blonde. There are reminders to send her acting résumé to agencies, to write three to four new songs a week, to “achieve L.A. visibility.” A scene in the documentary Kurt & Courtney features an ex of Love’s reading from one of her to-do lists, which has “become friends with Michael Stipe” as the number one task to complete (not only did Love do this, but he is her daughter’s godfather). This ambition is not surprising from a woman who, when she was younger, mailed a tape of herself singing to Neil Sedaka in hopes of getting signed. Love knew what she wanted at an early age, and what she wanted was fame.

She was certainly living by the “do not hurt yourself, destroy yourself, mangle yourself to get the football captain. Be the football captain!” motto she championed in the 1995 documentary Not Bad for a Girl. Ambition is often a dirty word when it is used to describe women and Love is no exception. She has been repeatedly described as calculating and controlling when she should be rewarded for her blond ambition and viewed as an inspiration. Critics and the press often call her a gold digger who only married Cobain for fame and money. They fail to mention that when the two met Pretty on the Inside was actually selling more copies than Bleach, Nirvana’s debut album. Even post-Kurt, Love’s intentions were always under scrutiny. On the Today Show to do press for The People vs. Larry Flynt, Love refused to talk about her past drug use, despite the host’s repeated questions, saying the topic was not an appropriate fit for the show’s demographic. She was right, but it didn’t stop a writer from describing the move as “calculating” in a 1998 Spin piece.

Cobain was ambitious too; he was just much slyer and more secretive about it. He was known to call his manager and complain when MTV didn’t play Nirvana’s videos enough, and he would correct journalists who misquoted the band’s sales figures in interviews. While success is typically celebrated and rewarded for men and it certainly was for Cobain, he also had to be mindful of the slacker generation that loved Nirvana and greeted success — and especially mainstream success —

While female celebrities like Love are criticized for their rebellion, male celebrities, like Cobain for example, are celebrated and mythologized for it. Cobain and Love both struggled with addiction, but it is Love who is repeatedly vilified for her drug use. “She was vilified for being a mess, for being a drug addict, for not being a great parent — in other words, all of the things we expect in a male rock star,” said Bust magazine in a piece in the magazine’s 20th anniversary issue, which featured Love on the cover.

We make jokes about the drug antics of male celebrities from Keith Richards to Charlie Sheen, idolizing their debauchery and depravity. The new Netflix/Lifetime movie by Jack Daniels, The Dirt, about Mötley Crüe, takes the band’s excesses to almost comic levels. Check out crazy tourmate Ozzy Osbourne snorting a line of ants by a hotel pool! Such zany antics! I would love to see Lindsay Lohan try to get away with that. We never allow women to live down their arrests and their addictions, but we repeatedly allow men to have a redemption arc. Robert Downey Jr. was in and out of jail and on and off drugs for much of the mid to late ’90s, but we rarely, if ever, talk about his past.

When Love isn’t being attacked for her addiction issues, she is being judged for her parenting. Love’s first unflattering press was “Strange Love,” the much publicized 1992 Vanity Fair profile by Lynn Hirschberg. While the piece talks at length about Love’s drug use and constantly questions her parenting ability, it doesn’t paint Cobain in the same light. “It is appalling to think that she would be taking drugs when she knew she was pregnant,” says one close friend in the piece. Hirschberg relies on many unnamed sources and focuses often on the tabloid-like aspects of Love’s life and addictions. “Courtney has a long history with drugs. She loves Percodans (‘They make me vacuum’), and has dabbled with heroin off and on since she was eighteen, once even snorting it in Room 101 of the Chelsea Hotel, where Nancy Spungen died,” she writes. “Reportedly, Kurt didn’t do much more than drink until he met Courtney.” (Even when it is reported by Kurt and Krist that Kurt tried heroin in 1989, way before Courtney, It was also known that he smoked weed and used caugh syrup to get high in 1989 and 1990.)

This double standard was common in coverage of the couple. In Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck, the 2015 documentary by Brett Morgen, Love asks her husband, “Why does everyone think you’re the good one and I’m the bad one?” Later in the film we see a scene of Frances Bean’s first haircut. The child sits on Cobain’s lap while Love searches for a comb and scissors. The camera shows Cobain nodding off, and while he maintains that he is just tired, it’s clear he’s not. The scene is painful to watch, especially because those around Cobain carry on like nothing in wrong, giving the feeling this is just like any other day in the Love-Cobain household. The scene is a reminder of how the press treated Cobain’s addiction when he was alive. They just carried on like nothing was wrong, instead directing all their judgement at Love.