#the older people in your life probably still feel that craving just as strongly as you do

[13eyond13]

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[kagetsukai]

OTP ship questions

So... this ship questions list has been making the rounds, and since I’m neck-deep in trying to finish up the story for Sam and Benji, I’ve decided to fill out ALL OF THEM. In one go. I’m extra, sue me.

(under a cut cuz I actually like you people) :P

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

1. How did they first meet?

Sam moved to Wayhaven and into Benji’s apartment complex. They didn’t start talking until Sam was getting mugged while on her run, Benji jumped in to help her, and then she punched him on accident. Benji does like to call it “love at first punch”

2. What was their first impression of each other?

Total heart eyes on both sides. They are both total cuties and they were eyeing each other before they actually started talking. Benji thought Sam was a little withdrawn and grumpy, while Sam thought Benji was really weird for grinning like a maniac all the time.

3. Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

I mean, Tina was the driving force from the very beginning and super invested in those two idiots getting together. Once it was apparent how cute Sam and Benji were together, the entire damn town wanted them to get/stay together. Sam’s cousin Liz was like “please enjoy yourself with the man”. Hell, even Benji’s ex was happy for them!

4. Who felt romantic feelings first?

Benji. The man wears his heart on his sleeve AND is incapable of holding back. He also has more experience with knowing what such emotions feel like so he can recognize them quicker. He’ll also claim that he fell in love with Sam the moment she punched him, so there’s that.

5. Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Both of them, actually! There’s a time limit on how long Sam will be staying in Wayhaven so both of them knew falling in love was a very bad idea. But they are so well-suited for each other that it was inevitable.

6. If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

I think there would be an overwhelming “hell yeah!” on both accounts, because of how strongly they feel for each other. Sam would feel a sense of relief, because she grew up hearing stories of how her sperm donor (aka bio dad) just impregnated her mother and left her behind, so knowing Benji would actually stay and love her would be a happy news. Benji would be ecstatic to know Sam is his soulmate and would probably tell everybody who stopped long enough to be told. Deep down, he’d still doubt himself and the knowledge, because he has a long history of abandonment. Even with regular reminders, he’d still be afraid that Sam would decide one day that there had been a mistake and leave.

7. What would their lives be like if they had never met?

Sam would become a bonafide workaholic with a limited number of friends - to Liz’s constant frustration. If she managed to find someone that she liked well enough, she’d probably settle down with them eventually, but maybe not feel a great passion for them. Just a decent, average life in California.

Benji would have gotten together with Felix and have a happy, fulfilled life with him. He’d probably get turned into a vampire at some point, too.

GENERAL

1. Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

Benji initiated it. Sam rejected the idea of dating at first, but after some cajoling, she agreed to keep going out with him.

2. Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

The first date was very casual and not really an official date - they went for dinner at a crab shack. Their second date was a little more dressy, with a dinner and a movie, and they both put in more effort into everything.

3. What was their first kiss like?

Amazing. Sam got a little tipsy and decided to leave a lipstick print on Benji’s neck as a way of “flirting”. Since the man is a slut for neck kisses, he took that as an invitation to have proper kisses and smooched her senseless right there and then. Sam did NOT complain.

4. Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

Sam had never had sex with a man before Benji (only had experiences with women), so it was a big deal when it happened. Benji made sure to take it slow and gave her a fantastic first-time experience.

5. What’s their height difference? Age difference?

Sam is 5’10 and Benji is 6’3, so there’s about 5 inches of difference between them. There’s about 2.5 years of difference between them in age.

6. What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

Sam ends up having a decent relationship with Rebecca, after some time. It’s a little difficult to interact with someone who is barely around, but Sam tries to be nice all the same (since it’s important to Benji). She definitely has a much closer relationship with Benji’s found family, Tina and all the older ladies who appointed themselves Benji’s guardians. They all love Sam dearly and the feeling is mutual.

Benji has a fantastic relationship with Liz and her husband/kids. The kids in particular looooove hanging off Benji and using him like a jungle gym. Benji and Liz have this pact of sorts where they would murder a bitch in order to protect Sam from harm - and be each other’s alibi, too. They did start off on a slightly wrong foot, but it got cleared up quickly. That being said, Benji is not fond of Sam’s extended family - they can be challenging.

7. Who takes the lead in social situations?

Benji, always. He’s the resident extrovert and will behave like a shield for when Sam feels overwhelmed with crowds or situations.

8. Who gets jealous easier?

Benji. He rarely acts on the emotion, though. At the beginning of the relationship, he’d just get quiet and in his own head a lot; later on he’d casually bring it to Sam to make sure he has nothing to worry about. 

Sam still gets jealous, though it’s not as common. After all, her man is fucking sexy and *of course* women would want to poach him. Gotta stay vigilant.

9. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

They are BOTH culprits of that one. Very often those are VERY explicit things, but mostly it’s just passing comments or even just sexy glances. Those two are *into* each other.

LOVE

1. Who said “I love you” first?

Sam, strangely enough. Having your life flash before your eyes sure makes you more willing to take chances with love ;)

2. What are their primary love languages?

Sam

Give: Acts of service, touch Receive: Quality time, touch

Benji: Give: Quality time, touch Receive: Touch, quality time

3. Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

Benji, hands down. He’s a cheeseball.

4. How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

As often as they can get away with it. They are both touch starved idiots with a variety of abandonment issues, so being glued to each other is a natural state for them.

5. Who initiates kisses?

Benji, more often than not. He craves that physical reassurance from Sam ALL the time.

6. Who’s the big and little spoon?

Benji will want to be the little spoon as often as he can get away with it. He loves being held and having his hair played with, so settling half of his body into Sam’s lap is literally his favorite thing. That being said, when they sleep, he’s usually the big spoon.

7. What are their favorite things to do together?

Hiking and being active. When Benji was recovering from his stint at the hospital after Murphy, Sam would go with him on hikes to make sure he wasn’t pushing himself too much physically. Then they never stopped. Benji loves going places to photograph Sam for the millionth time. They will also go to the gym together, if their schedules align. They also love doing the couch potato things together: watching movies/Netflix or him playing video games while her feet are draped all over him as she reads her current murder mystery.

8. Who’s better at comforting the other?

Sam might be just a little better at it than Benji, but only because he has shitty impulse control and often will blurt out things he shouldn’t. Sam will generally sit and listen to Benji, cuddle him, pet his hair, etc. Benji will do similar things, but his need to crack jokes about inappropriate things gets him in trouble relatively often.

9. Who’s more protective?

Benji. He would NOT hesitate to murder a person in cold blood to keep Sam safe. It’s not exactly a healthy thing, but we all know the man needs therapy.

10. Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Benji is a cuddle monster and would be wrapped around Sam 24/7 if allowed. That being said, since Sam is a little reserved about verbalizing her feelings for him, anytime she says “I love you” first, he feels absolutely ecstatic.

Sam’s family wasn’t a very outwardly affectionate people, so she’s not used to either type of displays? That being said, since Benji is always a walking furnace, she absolutely loves when he gives her cuddles. It’s her favorite thing.

11. What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

*opens up their playlist*

Camila Cabello - Easy Amber Run - I Found Dermot Kennedy - Power Over Me X Ambassador - Unsteady Hozier - Work Song

12. What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

Benji calls Sam “baby” all the time. She usually just calls him Benji, but also occasionally “mi carino” or “my love”. Pretty sure he dies every time she calls him “my love”.

13. Who remembers the little things?

I feel like they’re both pretty good about remembering the little things. Sam is better about remembering significant dates, but that’s because she has a digital calendar and isn’t afraid to use it :P

DOMESTIC LIFE

1. If they get married, who proposes?

Benji is the one who proposes. It happens on a random night while getting ready for bed, while they’re both in the bathroom in their bedclothes. It’s adorable and very them.

2. What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

The wedding would most likely happen in Wayhaven. I can’t imagine either Benji or Sam wanting a huge ceremony, but since they’ve become the town’s favorite lovebirds, it kind of goes out of control. Once some of their supernatural friends get involved, it really goes a little crazy. It ends up happening at a city park so it can fit all of the attendees. Some of Sam’s family flies in from out of town. Tina is Benji’s best “man” and Liz is Sam’s matron of honor. Benji absolutely loses his shit when he sees Sam in the wedding dress walking down the aisle and totally disrupts the ceremony to try to kiss her out of turn. Other than a ridiculous number of people there (seriously, probably at least half of the town shows up), it’s a pretty chill party, with lots of remembrance of Sam’s mom and Benji’s dad. Let’s just say it was a good day :)

3. How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

There are a few AUs for these dorks, but in most of those they have two kids: a girl and a boy. Ella is precocious, outgoing, clever, and energetic. Liam is a giant cuddle bug with a gorgeous smile and a big heart, who prefers to tinker with things in a workshop than get involved with his older sister’s shenanigans.

4. Do they have any pets?

They eventually end up with two dogs that they take on their hikes. They only have one dog for the longest time because apartment living isn’t exactly conducive to pet ownership. Once they get a house, they expand their menagerie. There might be a stray cat they sorta adopt, too.

5. Who’s the stricter parent?

Sam, hands down. Benji is a giant pushover for his wife and children, and would let his kids climb all over him, as long as they were happy.

6. Who worries the most?

That really depends on what about. Benji is perpetually worried about keeping his family safe and provided for. Sam has anxiety about a variety of small things and it’s not hard for her to worry about random stuff.

7. Who kills the bugs in the house?

Depends on the bugs. Benji loathes spiders so Sam’s in charge of removing those. Sam absolutely cannot deal with centipedes and roaches, so Benji gets to kill those.

8. How do they celebrate holidays?

When it’s just the two of them, they either go visit one of their friends in town and spend it with them. Once kids arrive, they do holidays at home and tend to go big in the food department. Rebecca is always invited, but it depends on whether she can make it that time or not. They like it when holidays are warm and filled with happiness/laughter.

9. Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

Benji. If he’s not working that morning, he would not want to leave the bed and would do everything in his power to keep Sam in there.

10. Who’s the better cook?

Sam. Benji isn’t terrible at it, but Sam is so much better that he rarely bothers with it. Also, Sam tends to treat cooking as stress relief (chopping veggies is great anger management), so he lets her do the thing in peace. That being said, if she’s too tired to cook, or it’s been a long day, or the kids are demanding her attention, Benji feels comfortable enough in the kitchen to take over and make dinner.

11. Who likes to dance?

Sam, hands down. Her mom loved to dance so she grew up around it. Unfortunately, Benji has two left feet so she doesn’t have many opportunities to flex those muscles (outside of occasional slow-dancing in the kitchen). She will occasionally drag Tina out for a night of dancing and go to a salsa club. It can really hit the spot.

[luna--reading]

[PICK A CARD] WHO IS CURRENTLY MISSING ME?

Hello lovelies~ ♡

This is a pick a card reading for “Who is currently missing you right now?” This is a timeless reading and you are meant to see it right now! Please do find peace if it doesn’t resonate with you~ ♡

So take a few minutes to mediate on these 3 piles:

Left to right: 1 - 3

Once you’re ready, just scroll below to find the reading that you have chosen!

You can always leave a comment or simply like the post if it resonates with you, thank you so much~ ♡♡♡

Pile 1: Enlightenment (43)

Okay, to start, I’m feeling a strong sense that this person finally sees or understands your importance in their lives. It’s kind of like they have gone through some kind of awakening and they realise how important you are to them. So, this can be an ex or just someone who previously didn’t appreciate you (very strong feelings for both) but either way, we’ll see what the rest of the cards say. But I feel like this person suddenly realises how much you meant to them and that’s why currently they are missing you right now. So this is a very strong no-contact situation and it could be someone that you have previously cut out from your life. But let’s move on with the cards:

Tarot: 5 of Swords, The Moon, Ace of Swords, The Emperor, Page of Pentacles, 6 of Swords, Ace of Wands, 3 of Wands, 3 of Pentacles, 7 of Pentacles, Queen of Pentacles

Oracle: LION // DOLPHIN // OTTER // WHALE // POTENTIAL - “Think Big” for your Future // PEACOCK - Raise your Standards // Affirmation for Healing the Heart // The Present (12) - Gift, treasure, revelation of own value, now-ness // LIGHT DANCER (24) - Illumination, the radiant self, shining soul // THE PATH OF THE GODS (2) -  Decisions, meetings, future plans

So, continuing from the beginning, I strongly feel like this person is someone who didn’t appreciate you in the past. I feel like there has been conflict with this person, there has been some untruthfulness within this connection. Whether or not you guys were in a relationship or it could be just like a friendship or with a family member, I’m feeling like you got tired of it. It’s like you have been giving in this connection but you aren’t receiving anything, and in fact, you aren’t being appreciated by this person. So, you just decided to be back in your own power, and you’ve cut off this person from your life.

I’m seeing that as you regain back your own power, this person starts to realise your worth. This person starts to regret how he/she treated you in the past, in the sense I’m getting that this person could be older than you (significantly) but he/she is acting a lot immature than you are. And in a way, he/she could be someone who is very prideful, someone who is very vain and only thinks of him/herself. I’m not necessarily seeing narcissism but this person takes you for granted is something that I see strongly in here.

Now, this can be someone who has broken your heart or just someone that you might have found yourself in a third-party situation, this is a general reading so do take what resonates. But the main characteristic of this person that I’m seeing is that they see your worth right now, they are reminiscing the past and they are actually hoping for a new beginning with you. Or just somewhat new communication, clarification, they want to bring you back into their lives (is what I’m hearing) and of course, you have the choice whether to accept or reject if they truly come back.

Because I do see a possibility that they are going to come back with a gift, with an offer, a very small offer but they hope that this might work out. It’s entirely up to you if you want to accept them but I’m just seeing that this person does see you as someone who can bring in joy and happiness into their lives. Now, this can be someone who you are working with, I’m hearing “boss” as I read the Emperor card but it can just simply be someone who is older than you but in general this person is just presenting him/herself as rather immature in regards to how they view and deal with relationships.

I feel like this person who is currently missing you right now really does see a potential with you and that in a way, I feel like they thought they would never have lost you but in fact, they did and now they are regretting and that they are hoping for a new start, a new beginning with you.

So I’m getting very strong FIRE energies (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) as well as strong EARTH energies (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) so these can be in your chart or in this person’s chart but I’m seeing someone who has very strong pride and someone who tends to not admit their mistakes because of their pride.

But in this case, I feel like as they come in, they might present themselves as indifferent like they might be a little reluctant to let down their pride to admit that they were being unappreciative towards you and I’m getting a vibe of them just simply taking you for granted (like honestly, it’s not a very positive vibe but do take what resonates) because I’m seeing that they expect you to take them back but of course, it’s entirely up to you. But darling, this is the person that I’m seeing who is missing you right now~

 Pile 2: Ask Your Soul (16)

Okay, so what I’m getting from this card is that this is possibly someone that you are missing as well. Like I’m getting a sense of mirroring vibe, whereby this person who is currently missing you is probably the person on your mind. And I’m feeling that the both of you do have some strong spiritual connection. But let’s move in further with your cards to find out who is currently missing you right now:

Tarot: 3 of Pentacles, King of Pentacles, Death, The Devil, The Chariot, 3 of Swords, 9 of Wands, 6 of Wands, Strength, 6 of Swords, The Moon

Oracle: COSMIC EGG // BEAR // FIREFLY // LETTING GO - Learn to let go // Listening to Wisdom // Accept Love // SANCTUARY (28) - Privacy, inviolate personal space, respected boundaries and taboos // TIME AND TIDE (18) - Oceanic spells and rituals // THE HEALING TEMPLE (1) - Restoration, cure, safety

So, I’m getting a very strong karmic relationship. Now, I’m getting that you met this person for a very strong spiritual reason and that this connection is meant to teach you something valuable in life. Now, I’m honestly getting very strong ex vibes for this, or just someone that you might have almost gotten into a relationship with, but it’s just somewhat toxic to be honest. Or this can be a friendship or a family member. I’m getting a very toxic relationship but it’s a connection that you just can’t seem to help but go back to every time.

It’s like this person gives you the support you need and the stability that you wanted but there was constantly something that was hurting you or this connection. I’m getting that you realise that you have to move away from this connection for you to find yourself. And that is why there is this no contact, no communication at this point in time. Honestly, I feel like there is a possibility that you might find this person because there is a very strong emotional attachment here to this person and you just can’t seem to cut off completely from this person.

Darling, I want you to know that it is important for you to set healthy boundaries, if you find yourself in a situation that is no longer serving you, you have to leave in order to protect yourself, to protect your energy. You don’t always have to be around someone for security or stability, because you yourself are the biggest support system for yourself.

I see that this karmic connection is really here to teach you to learn to let go of people, of things that are no longer serving you. In fact, I feel like the angels have been constantly giving you signs on what it is that you have to let go of but you just find yourself stuck in this vicious cycle. But darling, you have to understand that this connection is meant for you to learn to let go. You might find yourself thinking about this person at this point in time because you seem to crave for that support and stability that this person can give you but then again, the angels want you to look within yourself for this particular support and stability that you are yearning for.

It’s not going to be easy to let go of this person because emotional attachment is something that we can’t seem to cut off easily but the angels want you to know that at this point in time, when you are in no communication, no contact with this person (or even if you are still in contact with this person), start by learning to set healthy boundaries. I’m really seeing that you are asked to regain some strength, to find back your strength, and to preserve as you let go of this connection.

Okay, I know I’m supposed to be describing this person that is currently missing you but I’m getting a strong message about the whole situation. So darling, I’m getting very strong Scorpio, Capricorn as well as Pisces and Cancer for this person (but do take what resonates) But darling, this person that is missing you, I feel like they are someone who can be very extreme on both ends. On one hand, this person might be someone who gives you that stability and security that you want, and that they seem to promise you a lot of things that you want but on the other hand, I feel like this person is just merely giving you false promises and that they aren’t really taking any actions.

Actually, I’m also seeing that this person kinds of have 2 sides to them, like they might appear to be very bubbly or cheerful or just outgoing to others but they might actually be mysterious, or introverted when it comes to you. On one hand, they might seem to be very confident, to be very passionate but on the other hand, this person might be faced with fears and doubts of themselves. So, it’s a very imbalanced kind of energy that I’m getting from this person.

And I feel like as of now, if you still feel very strongly for this person (especially if it’s romantic wise), I do see that you are asked to at least allow this person to heal and restore balance in their lives before coming into fruition for this connection.

Pile 3: Awakening (2)

Okay, so I’m feeling like this person that is currently missing you right now is going through some sort of awakening at this point in time. And I'm getting that this is some sort of spiritual awakening that has been called upon when they met and interacted with you. So, in a sense it’s like upon meeting you, they were called to get in touch with their higher selves and, they are currently going through some sort of transformation in their lives as they are missing you. So I’m getting a very strong soulmate, strong soul ties with this person. But let’s see what the cards have to say:

Tarot: King of Swords, 8 of Wands, 3 of Wands, 8 of Wands, The Hierophant, 7 of Cups, The Devil, 9 of Cups, 5 of Swords, Queen of Cups

Oracle: ELK // FISH // BEE // FRIENDSHIP - Nurture your relationships // MOVING FORWARD - Get ready for positive change // Learn from life // Tears of joy and sadness // AIR (26) - Breathing deep, entering into life, exchange of life-bringing energies // DIVINATION (15) - Prophecies, fate, destiny, future fortune // CORAL’S WISDOM (31) - Colony, delicacy, fragility, works that are created over great periods of time // THE ANGEL GATE (9) - Cleansing, protection, blessing // AURORA GARDEN (10) - Beginning, initiate, origin // MOUNTAIN LIGHTS (29) - Light beings, portals, subtle energies

So, as I was saying, I strongly feel like this person is someone that has a very strong spiritual connection with you. Almost like the both of you had some kind of soul contract in your past life for the both of you to meet one another in this life. But I’m getting a lot of moving energy so this person could be living at a distance from you, or maybe there is some kind of situation that is preventing a physical meetup, but I’m getting that this person who is currently missing you wants to come forward, and to meet you physically.

Okay, so I’m seeing that this person might have some sort of conflict with you in the past, or just feeling like they are pretty inferior or unworthy of being with you. I feel like they see you as someone who has a lot of choices and options and that you won’t even take a glance at them and it’s kind of like I feel like there is a lot of unhealthy thoughts within this person, but upon meeting you, they go through some kind of awakening and now they are changing for the better.

I’m getting a very strong transformation from them and that they kind of want to present their better selves to you. I feel like if this person is someone who you previously were interested in and that there seems to be a possibility but everything just came to a halt, it’s because the angels are protecting you as this awakening is something that is meant to happen in this connection. And that by delaying the beginning, it is meant to protect the both of you as each of you are working on yourselves and being the best of yourselves for each other.

So, this person can be a friend, someone that you already know or even someone that you might have been interested in. But I’m just seeing that you bring in so much happiness into this person’s lives. Also, you might have work or study with this person but I’m getting more of a work environment, so it might be a co-worker or a colleague or even a boss.

But what I’m seeing is that this person who is currently missing you is going through a transformation and I do see them wanting to come forward. And in fact, I feel like they will come forward because it’s like you complete them. But instead of being two halves to come together as one, I’m seeing the both of you as a whole person, coming together and complementing each other.

So darling, this person might have strong Taurus or Capricorn in their charts (or it could be you) but honestly, I’m seeing all kinds of signs. But this person is coming off as the masculine energy (regardless of male or female) or it could also just represent their desires to come forward and take action towards you. So darling, I’m seeing a change in this connection (if you know who this is) and it’s going to be a positive one, if you don’t know who this is, then just keep a lookout and understand that things are changing for the better in your relationships as well as social connections.

[quickspinner]

Alright tell me why my dumbass didn’t realize you had a load of stories on AO3... tell me why I’ve been moping around because I had no Lukanette to read and it was sitting right under my nose! Excuse me while I fall down that rabbit hole.

LOL tosses down a rope and yells “Don’t forget to eat and hydrate!”

I try to make sure everybody knows where to find all my stuff and keep things organized. I was just thinking it was time for another housekeeping post so thanks for the excuse! Here goes, and I’m gonna be extra thorough this time! I apologize up front for my wordiness, I don’t even fight it anymore, so for the TLDR folks I’ll try to bold the important stuff.

Just so you know what you’re getting into, my work is pretty much all Lukanette all the time and I like to think the sodium content is pretty low (I’m gonna level with you guys I am getting really sick of all these ‘Oh, if only there were Lukanette fics that weren’t mean to Adrien, but alas! they do not exist’ posts I’ve been seeing. Insert Will Smith gif here).

All my work on tumblr can be found under the tag quickspins and everything that’s part of a series has a series tag, and I try to link back to the other pieces.

Here’s my AO3. I personally think it’s the easiest place to find my stuff if you’re looking to binge, and some of my older works from there are not on Tumblr yet, which include:

I’ll Give You the Stars (which I’m currently in the process of posting here)

Second Chance (which is queued up next and pairs well with IGYTS) 

Finding Harmony (which is probably my favorite piece to date, honestly, sort of my mostly-unsalty fix-it for Season 3) (does it count as salt if it’s Lila acting like Lila?) 

All That’s Best of Dark and Bright (my very first Lukanette fic)

Can’t Stop the Pain (just a quick little thought piece mostly)

Until It Doesn’t Hurt (because who hasn’t written a post-puppeteer fixit at this point)

A Time to Every Purpose (the sort of sequel)

Take a Chance (a college AU that I did for the first week of Lukanette September)

Okay, that was more stuff than I realized, wow. I’m pretty sure everything else is cross-posted. The only thing on tumblr not on AO3 that I can think of is Payback and the April Kisses pieces I’ve been doing. However it will all end up on AO3 eventually so if you are worried about missing something, you can subscribe to my author updates on AO3 and get ALL THE THINGS.

Go nuts, leave me as many comments as you feel like! I promise my reaction to an inbox full of comments is not eek a stalker it is always OMG BEST DAY EVER. 

If you run out of my work, because I do have to sleep sometime, check out my AO3 bookmarks for other awesome Lukanette writers (and actually a few really good LS fics too believe it or not, I have been known to venture out of my niche once in a while). There’s a little bit of everything there so even if you find some that aren’t to your taste keep clicking, I promise there’s good stuff there. 

Links are in my blog header too if you lose this post, and you can also follow me if you’re looking for Lukanette because I try to reblog most of the Lukanette content I find. We’re all in this little ship together and I love to share other people’s work as well as my own. I strongly believe in supporting other content creators so love to all of you out there, even if you haven’t been brave enough to hit that publish button yet.

Please remember also that authors crave your feedback so try to leave some when you can. I try to answer all of my AO3 comments and anything that comes in my ask box; it’s a little harder for me to respond to replies in the notes here for some reason but I still love them just as much, and I love it when people leave some love in the reblog tags too. So, don’t feel bad if you can’t, but if you can, I’d love it if you did.

My ask box is open too, so if you have questions or can’t find something or you’re just curious, I promise that in real life I am seriously uncool and nobody you should be afraid of, so if you’re thinking about dropping me a note please feel safe and loved doing so. 

[selfshippinglover]

all of the self insert development questions for your harry potter s/i >:3

AWWW THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH MAGNUS!! i’M PROBABLY LATE BUT YESS!! I’M EXCITED :DD

1. Does your insert have a name that’s different from yours? Does the name reflect their character in any way, or is it just because it sounds nice? How did you come up with it?

Nope! I mostly just stick with my own name just cause I like it to feel more like me in world :)

2. Does your insert have a very strong relationship with a f/o, maybe more than one? Tell us a little about the dynamic they have! This can be a bond that’s romantic, familial, or platonic, anything - even an enemy would count as a strong relationship!

~So, Hagrid and I have a very strong friendship before the whole dating thing! :DD I met well he was caring for a mythical creature and we bonded quickly just talking by it tbh :))

~McGonagall and I are best friends! we bond pretty quickly once the school year kicks off! As I’m a newer hire to the school, I’m still getting used to how everything works(I end up going via Hagrid’s recommendation!) and she actually helps me in between classes if I have any questions. We both care strongly for the lives of our students and are annoyed by the ones that are disruptive. So yeah, we also are fast friends :)

~I have a great deal of respect for Dumbledore despite his uhhh, “method” of teaching sometimes being straight up dangerous to others. Sometimes it’s even begrudging respect! I love the way he run things but I wish he’d put the students in less danger >:/ Still, I know I can feel safe to talk to him whenever I may need.

3. Who in their canon are they closest to? Who would they drop everything to come help, if anyone? Who’s the person they’re least close to? Who would they most likely not get along with, if anyone?

~I’m definately closest to Hagrid and McGonagall. I’d drop everything if even one of them was in danger.

~I mean, the only people I don’t really like ar the ones serving Voldemort....and Gilderoy =-=

4. Does your insert have a backstory? Tell us about it! How does their backstory, if any, define who they are? How does it reflect their relationships now? Their hopes and dreams?

~My backstory is very basic: I’m just another wizard in the world. Timid, unsure of what I wanna do with my life, and lowkey craving adventure.(boi does life deliver on that  one fkhjhsjg) One day while walking through many of the forests in the Wiarding Worl, I meet a half giant. We become friends very quick and he shows me around his home as well as educates me on mythical creatures. I find out that he actually works at the most well reknown school in all of the magical world and they have a slot open! I’m anxious at first but decide(after much coaxing and the reminder that he’ll be there if I need him) to give it a shot. I end up making the cut and officially and becoming an assist teacher! I go around as many classes as I can and help out :33 

~The only way my relationships are affected is by becoming closer and making new ones really.

~After having no big dreams, my dream becomes to learn how to help as many students as I can to reach their potential and to feel good about themselves! I always to preach to them about good mental health, remind them to drink often, and be aware when teachers and students aren’t feeling well. I offer to take their place if it’s a magic I know well enough.

5. Does your insert have any magical talents or otherwise special abilities? Are they passive, like the ability to befriend animals, or dangerous power that the villains want? Or if theyre evil - any powers the heroes want to stop?

I mean, as a wizard, I’ve got plenty! i try to have a decent array of everyday use kind of spells, lots of healing focu spells, and self-defense based ones. (I learn more offensive stuff at the school)So yeah, pretty passive.

6. Do they fight? What’s their weapon of choice? Do they stay on the sidelines? What would it take for them to get off the sidelines? Revenge? Saving a loved one? What’s the motivation for them to fight, or to stay OUT of a fight?

I really prefer to not use violence/engage in confrontation and will avoid it by sticking to the sidelines and only intervening when the students fight. If it were to be two professors, I’d probably stay out of it... ^-^’ the big thong that would push me out and/or through my fear would be if someone I cared about was stepping up to the plate/in danger. I can’t let others get hurt!

7. What kind of clothing style do they like? What would they never be caught dead wearing? What’s likely in their closet right now?

~I like a variety of aesethics but my insert ends up sticking to more formal attire sense it’s a school.

~I don’t really like wearing things that show a lot of skin so that really.

~Looots of formal attire, a few dresses, protective gear, enchanted clothes,  and very casual clothing.

8. How do they fit into their canon world? What’s their role to play, if any? Do they have a big destiny? Or do they more live as a side character that’s helpful for the protagonists/antagonists?

I’m mostly a side character that has her own personal arc about feeling good enough in that place and stepping up against my personal fears to help others.

9. Their favorite foods? Colors? Activities? What do they enjoy in life? How do they express their joy for things they like?

~Magic foods are freaking weird so I stick with the most looking stuff XDD

~Red and Pink are still favorite colors, hang out with the other teachers, patrol campus, learn about mythical creatures, take day trips to the shopping districts, read the newspapers, and hang out with my friends :33

~She expresses joy by sharing with others, stimming via movement, and just being all excited when talking about it :33

10. Their least favorites? What don’t they enjoy in life? How do they deal with being presented with things they don’t like?

~just don’t like the usual stuff, anger, confrontation, jerks, being forced into things you know, the usual.

~I just have a  fear reaction to most things so I try to avoid it and/or deescalate things.

11. How easy is it to make your insert angry? Sad? How easy is it to twist their emotions into negative things? By contrast, how easy are they to cheer up? What can brighten a bad day?

~As a sufferer of fear and depression, being sad comes easily. Anger is an emotion reserved for very few evil acts. I’ve learned to cope a bit better at that point so I don’t immediately fall into sadness but a few more pushes or crazy things happening would overwhelm me fast.

~I’m a bit hard to cheer up if I’m suffering a depressive episode but way easier if I just feel bad. Distraction works perfectly fine in that situation. I really just need downtime and my friends faces.

12. Is your insert a loner, or do they prefer crowds? Do they warm up easily, or do they tend to take longer to befriend others? What kinda people do they get along with? Who are they likely to be uncomfortable with?

~I’m pretty sociably flexible as long as there aren’t large crowds. (Though I don’t like meeting groups of new people cause it makes me anxious) I find it easy to befriend others since I treat others like my friends from the start. I can be nice to anyone, ya know? It mostly depends on my energy level that day tbh.

~I’m only really uncomfortable with angry people, people that boost their own ego at the cost of others, people that commit horridly evil acts, and people that are super narrow-minded about things.

13. What are your insert’s goals? Their hopes and dreams for the past/future/present! Do they intend to achieve no matter what? Could anything stop them, big or small?

Nothing big, just exsist happily and not suffer through their terrible mental struggles all the time. Later on though, she decides she wants to help and protect everyone to the best of her ability; no matter the situation. She is very easily pushed into doing things unless it’s for others so uhh, once all the bad stuff happens, the situation and fear for her students and peers pushes her into action.

14. Does your insert have any family relations? How do they get along? How do they disagree? Is it a biological family? Adopted? Or is it found family? How did this family come together, if it was one of the last two?

Not really, no? Well, idk yet. Kinda questioning if McGonagall could be an older sister.

15. Does your insert have any enemies? What’s that dynamic like? Why are they enemies? Did they ever get along in the past? Is patching up differences out of the question for the future?

I mean, the only people she has anything against are people that try to hurt the ones she loves and well, that’s self-explanatory on its own.

16. Free question space! Ask whatever you want to know!

No one asked but Luna Lovegood is underrated as hell and the movies did her dirty!!

[dungeons-and-divination]

WARLOCK FIEND Patron - TIEFLING Baalzebub heritage - City watch (Investigator)*

I know, a tiefling with a fiend patron is kind of cliché, but that’s what my random generator gave me. I just embraced what the tarots decided later on too. I think people that like to play grayer character will like this one, because if you have to go for cliché, might as well go all in, right? (PS: anybody notices a pattern with the tarots in the photo? Or is the quality too crappy?)

Name: Djitha (28 yo)

TAROTS

Mind: Seven of swords (upright) A card about mental manipulation as “mind” is a pretty harsh introduction. But I know some players enjoy very much playing these “on the line of being a bad guy” kind of characters. Anyway, despite that first impression of lies and trickery, let’s not forget that there’s as well an undertone of adaptability and sharp wit connected to this tarot. So despite it all, Djitha is very clever in the way she deceits people. She plans, she tries to always be a step ahead of the game, which is probably how she gets away with her bad deeds.

Body: Eight of cups (reversed) I usually relate this card to a low of self-esteem, but in Djitha’s case I feel like it’s more likely that all of the manipulating she does kind of made her forget to actually focus on her own emotions. She might be the kind of person that hides behind her lies for fear of being rejected,sure that there’s nothing interesting about her true self. So, at the end of the day we actually come back to some latent self-esteem issues in a roundabout way… For some reason I also had this very strong feeling that she would be the kind of person that strongly dislikes any kind of physical contact.  

Spirit: Knight of cups (reversed) And we even get an explanation for her “body” issues. A broken heart by another manipulator, someone that got her in a very unhealthy relationship and broke her “spirit” to the point that she decided that she wanted to become just like them so that nobody else would play her like that ever again. Full circle back to “mind”. This card also tells me that sometimes Djitha jumps to conclusions and has tantrums, so despite how smart she is and how much she plans… well, maybe she isn’t that wise after all.

Past: Five of pentacles (upright) Not surprising that in the past of poor Djitha there’s a tarot that is very much about hardship, bad luck and breakups. It’s pretty obvious that her life was not easy in the past but her background connected to this tarot and to her tendency to lie, made me really think that she had both a hard childhood, a nasty abusive relationship in her teen years, AND some kind of scandal related to her work when she was a grown up because of her manipulations and lies.

Present: Two of pentacles (reversed) This card just confirmed my suspicions. The poor decisions she has made in the past probably left poor Djitha in a bit of a pickle financially speaking. And for a person like her that really likes to feel like she has control of everything, even a little setback is kind of a big deal that would make her spiral even more in tantrums and uncontrollable fits of rage for the things she doesn’t know how to control. She’s probably in the “trying too hard” phase after that mess. Which would probably mean lying a lot but in a very careful way (so, not a lot of speaking, really), lots of brooding and thinking way too loud (but overall a lack of actual organisation), and maybe a short fuse on those tantrums.

Future: The Moon (reversed) Once again, full circle and right back to the top. She will get out of that funk in the future, but it kind of seems it could go in two ways: either by deceiving even herself that everything is gonna be okay because her lies have already been discovered and she can build some new one on the ashes of those, or by actually admitting the truth and living with the consequences of her actions. Still, the major point of this tarot is that she’ll soon be dealing with mental issues. And I already pointed out how many Djitha has, of course. So, my suggestion is that whatever ends up happening while playing, this decision on which path to follow should also very much be related to how much her fears and issues are explored with the other members of the party. 

FULL BACKSTORY

Djitha was pretty much rejected from birth by her family. Her parents were both humans, and despite having two older sisters, Minea and Lahrysa, she was the only member of the Elair family of infernal heritage. Her father Haluk especially blamed Djitha for the sickness that made her mother Riette die prematurely when Djitha was just three years old. Haluk somehow also found a way to blame her for their life on the street, despite that being the way they always lived, dirt poor since Djitha had memory. Despite the hate she received from her family, Djitha was easily loved by others around her, especially because she quickly learned how to be a people-pleaser and how much she could gain if she just smiled a little bit even to those she didn’t necessarily like. It also helped to keep a semblance of peace with her father, who was pleased when she brought back food or some coin when she begged in front of shops. When she was around fourteen, her father pretty much abandoned her because he thought she was adult enough to feign for herself. Already used to a life of begging, Djitha was convinced that she could become a thief, but she was quickly caught red handed; like always, it was her attitude of manipulating the truth and people that got her out of the situation. She convinced the chief of the city guards that she could be more useful working for them, investigating the less reputable areas and reporting back suspicious activities, since she was so well know and loved. Because of her job and the sense of fulfillment she felt when she helped the guards to catch criminals, Djitha got involved with a man, Temithope Paquet, a bit of a celebrity of the local criminal syndicate (almost a criminal right under the nose of the guards that could not be caught because proof against him always had a way of being misplaced). He was way older than her, but Djitha was sure that she couldn’t be fooled by him. Either because Temithope was very good at persuading people, or because she was very young and lonely, Djitha actually fell for him pretty quickly and became his pawn that would give information on the guards activities so that the syndicate could do whatever they pleased. It only took a couple of months of abusive relationship filled with demeaning comments, before eavesdropping on one of his conversations with someone else from the syndicate made Djitha decide that enough was enough. Djitha finally saw how empty all of Temithope’s promises of easy riches and power were, and decided that she would no longer be his plaything. Trying to seek revenge, Djitha actually convinced the chief of the city watch that she had been trying to play the long-con with Temithope and gave them a bunch of proof of all the nasty things Temithope been doing in those months. With her abuser finally behind bars (despite him promising revenge for it), she was allowed to become officially part of the investigation team. At first Djitha thought that she would find a new purpose in her career. But she soon found out that she was still considered a nobody and that trying to do things “the right way”, by following the rules wasn’t gonna get her anything (especially nor riches neither power). Unlike breaking them, which she had somewhat positive experience with overal (she could actually order around people when she was under Temithope’s protection). So she started, once again, working with the criminals in the city. Djitha was sure she was doing alright; people in the guards were happy with her tips on meaningless goons while she protected people in high places in the criminal hierarchy. Everything was fine, and she was starting to grow a reputation again, until, during a massive investigation with people undercover, she was finally sussed out. Desperate to get out of town and find a way to keep being hidden, it was easy for Djitha to accept the offer her patron made her to give her the power she so desperately craved and that surely would keep her out of jail. She had things to do for her patron now, after all, it was in her patron’s interest to keep are hidden…

SUGGESTION CORNER

Suggested features Ability scores: High Charisma and Intelligence, Low Wisdom and Strength Skill proficiencies: Deception, Intimidation. *Instead of Insight from the Investigator Background, talk with your DM and ask if you could go for either Stealth or proficiency in thieves’ tools; I feel like it fits better with the complete story of being involved with criminals so much. Others: I suggest either pact of the Chain or pact of the Tome. I do think this character would be a very nice multiclass wizard, but spellcasting multiclass is kind of a pain, so I get why you might want to stay away from a thing like that. I decided not to go into details on the Patron. It’s very much a matter to be discussed with the DM in my opinion, so I kept as vague as possible on that matter.

Suggested Characteristics Trait: I think money is the true measure of appreciation and affection. Everything else is talk or an act. Ideal: Money and power can be gained more easily with a fake smile than a real opinion. I plan to gain as much as possible. Bond: My past mistakes cost me dearly. I’m actually, maybe, a little on the run for a crime. Flaw: People who can’t take care of themselves get what they deserve (something she actually “learned” from that abusive relationship and VERY MUCH applies to herself most of all).

[lovemesomesurveys]

Have you ever had a computer virus before? Not with any of my Apple laptops, which I’ve been getting for over 10 years now. Prior to that, I did have a few issues with viruses. Not fun.

Are you dependent upon anyone? >> Of course. Everyone’s dependent on someone, even if only indirectly. <<< True. I’m also very dependent upon my family, especially my mom.

Are there any book characters you’d like to portray? Uh, I don’t want to portray any character. I’m definitely no actor.

Who did you last text? My dad.

Is there anything on your bed right now? Yeah, several pillows, my bedsheets, my throw blanket, a few stuffed animals, a coloring book, a couple sets of colored pencils, two little pencil sharpeners, a little notebook, a book, an Nintendo Switch, my laptop, my phone, the chargers for aforementioned electronics... lol my bed is also my desk since I spend majority of my time in bed.

When was the last time you went to the grocery store? Back in early March. Prior to this quarantine/lockdown, I went with my mom twice a month. Since all that began, she’s just been going. We’ve been using the online order thing. What way would you like to die when it’s your time? Peacefully.

What are you most afraid of in the world? Death, diseases, violence, losing loved ones... Have you ever been caving? No.

Do you do well in math related things? Noooo. Me and math never got along.

What is your favorite fruit? Bananas. 

If you had to choose, which sibling would you live with? My younger brother and I already live in the same house.

Do you have any tattoos? Nope.

Are you planning on getting any in the near future? No.

When was your last date? Four years ago.

When did you get Facebook? Sometime in 2008.

What was your first pet’s name? Buster.

Are you good when it comes to computer issues? Uhh, depends what the issue is. If it involves the hardware itself then no.

Are there any people at your job who absolutely hates you? No job.

What was the last book you read? Don’t Tell by Willow Rose. I’m just starting, The Girl and the Hunt by AJ Rivers, which is the 6th book in a series.

Have you ever read any books in one day? Yeah, several.

What was the last thing you bought? A couple shirts and masks from Young and Reckless. The masks are black and say, “Keep your distance.” The shirts are black and say that as well in tiny font on the upper right side and on the back it says, “Thank you for staying away” in big font. I got one for my mom as well because it seemed like the perfect shirt for her to wear to work lol.

What are your plans for tomorrow? Nothing out of the ordinary.

Is there any jewelry you wear constantly? Nope. 

Are your fingernails painted at the moment? Nope.

Do you prefer cool, warm or neutral colors? >> I like a variety of colours for different reasons. <<<

Have you ever taken art classes? Just an art history class in college.

What’s the most boring movie you’ve ever seen? Hmm. I’m blanking.  Do you know how to work a cash register? I’ve never used one.

Fact or fiction novels? I’m more of a fiction gal.

Have you ever suffered from depression? Yeah, it’s been an ongoing battle for as long as I can remember, but these past few years have most definitely been the worst. Depression won.

Do you think you’re a clingy person? I can be when it comes to my mom. 

Do you enjoy kisses on the cheek? Uhh depending on who it’s from.

Have you ever been in a physical fight before? No.

How often would you say you disagree with your parents? We definitely have our disagreements, but I don’t know how often I’d say they are. A lot of them are about the same things.

What color shirt did you wear yesterday? >> Black.

Do you have a job? If so, do you like it? Nope.

Have you ever been called a slut before? I’ve had friends say it as a joke.

What’s something you’ve been craving? A day at the beach. D:

Have you ever slept with your window open? Yeah.

Can you play violin? I took lessons in 4th grade, but I didn’t enjoy it. Just wasn’t my thing. I stuck it out for the whole year, though.

What was the last desert you had? Brownies.

Have you ever had a wild animal as a pet? No.

Do you know anyone you talk to on Facebook but won’t talk to in person? No.

What color are your mother’s eyes? Brown.

Do you have a best friend? If so, how long have you been best friends? All 30 years of my life.

Do you cry easily? Yeah. Somedays I’m just on the verge of tears all day and anything can set it off. 

Have you ever been into a court room? I think during a field trip in elementary school.

How many necklaces would you say you own? Hmm. Maybe five.

Do you plan on being strict towards your children? I plan on not having children. I’m going to be 31 soon and feel strongly about not having children and I just don’t see something super drastic happening that makes me change my mind. But I’d be even older if something drastic did happen, so probably not even then. I’m meant to have doggos. (:

Do you own any tie-dye shirts? Yeah, a few.

What would you say is your favorite day of the week? They’re all the same for me, really.

Do you ever wear lipstick? I haven’t in a long time.

Do you own a pool? Nope.

Do you have a Tumblr account? Never heard of it.

Would you say you’re overweight? No. I’m actually too underweight.

How many colors are in your hair? Well, it’s mostly red, but my roots are starting to grow out. It’s not too bad, yet.

Do you flirt with a lot of people? I’m not a flirtatious person in general. If I flirt, it’s with someone I’m interested in and have been talking to. I don’t flirt with everyone or with people I don’t know.

How many bank accounts do you have? Just one.

Have you ever been falsely accused of starting drama? Yes.

How old are you? 30.

Do you attend church regularly? Not physically, but a local church uploads their service every Sunday to watch or listen to and I’ve been watching that even before the lockdown/quarantine. Since then, they’ve been live streaming since they can’t meet in person.

Have you ever found a song that describes your whole life? There’s a lot of songs where the lyrics just speak to me as they say and I really relate to them.

What time did you wake up this morning? I haven’t gone to bed, yet, but I assume I’ll get up sometime between 1 and 3 since that’s how it’s been the past few months.

What time do you plan on waking up tomorrow morning? ^^^

What kind of car do you drive? I don’t drive.

What kind of car would you like to have? Not something I’ve given much thought.

Have you ever been to Dairy Queen? If so, what’s your favorite thing to eat from there? Not since I was a kid. I remember liking the blizzard things.

How old did you turn on your last birthday? This is just another way of asking how old I am, which you already asked me.

Ever felt like falling apart? Oh yes. I’ve felt like I’ve fallen apart and like I’m going to fall apart, just barely hanging on. I’m always just trying to keep it together. I’m like Humpty Dumpty who couldn’t quite be put back together again.

Have you ever been in an ambulance? Yes.

Do you tend to worry a lot? Yepppp.

How old were you when you lost your first tooth? Like 6, I think.

Do you remember your first time on the internet? It was when I was 9 or 10.

Which website do you email from? Yahoo.

Do you enjoy receiving souvenirs? Sure. I love getting them myself when on vacation and I’d certainly appreciate if someone brought me something from theirs.

Do you get angry with people easily? Not angry, but irritated and frustrated. 

Do a lot of people dislike you or is it the other way around? I feel like I’m just not even on the radar for most people.

Have you ever had the flu? Yes.

What about strep throat? Yes. It’s been a longggg time, though.

Have you ever been to a psychologist? No, but I need to.

What’s the worst part about school? For me it was that I just got so overwhelmed and stressed out so easily.

Do you normally have a lot of homework, if you’re still in school?

When was your last vacation? Back in early February. I can’t believe that even happened this year because quarantine/lockdown has felt like 84 years.

Would you ever consider going on a cruise? I’ve thought about it and they do sound fun, but... I don’t think I could.

What did you last buy from the store? A few Starbucks Doubleshot energy drinks.

Would you say you enjoy being single or in a relationship more? All I really know is being single, so I can’t really say for sure. I do miss being interested in someone and talking to someone in that way, though, and the very little experience I do have with dating. It’s best for me to be single, though.

Do you try to stay busy a lot? I spend my days with my usual go-to distractions. I wouldn’t call that keeping busy, though. I don’t feel like spending all day on various social media platforms, watching YouTube and TV, reading, playing Animal Crossing, and lounging is “busy” if that makes sense. I think of productivity when I think about keeping busy. To me the things I do are just distractions and things to pass the time. Just something to do, ya know? *shrug*

What’s your favorite quote? “Blah.” ha.

Do you lie a lot? I’d be lying if I said I never lie, but I’m not a pathological liar. 

Do you still act childish most of the time? I sure can be stubborn, moody, and whiny like one.

Did you ever enjoy gym class? Nope.

What is your biggest insecurity? I have a lot of insecurities. 

Have you ever painted a room alone? Nope. Or at all.

Speaking of which, when did you last paint your room? Never.

What’s for dinner tonight? I don’t know, it’s only 3 in the morning.

Do you ever drink alcohol? Nope.

Have you ever had a terrible hangover? Ugh, yes.

Do you ever get migraines? No, but I get terrible tension headaches.

Do you know how to garden? I don’t do any gardening. Not my thing.

What was the last thing you plugged into an outlet? The egg cooker thing to make hard boiled eggs.

Do people consider you to be a funny person? I have my moments.

Do you have any bad habits? Oh do I ever.

Do you like children? If not, why is this? Sure, in small doses. haha.

What is your favorite snack? Deviled eggs. Super random, but they make a delicious snack.

Do you own any gaming systems? I have a Nintendo Switch. I use my brother’s PS4 to access stuff like Netflix or watch DVDs in the living room.

How old were your parents when they had you? Early and mid 20s.

Is there a big age difference between you and the person you like? There’s no such person, currently.

Do you trashtalk people a lot? Nah, just myself.

What is the most amusing thing on the internet, in your opinion? TikTok has been pretty amusing.

Does the future excite you or scare you? It terrifies me.

Have you ever been to Disney World? If so, how many times have you been? No.

Do you try to spend a lot of time with family? I spend a lot of time with my immediate family. We’re very close, but we also live together so we’re able to do so. I don’t see my extended family very often, and not at all since the quarantine/lockdown.

How often do you shower? Every couple of days.

What would you say is your favorite genre of music? I like a variety of music.

Do you need to clean your bedroom? It could use a little straightening up.

What do you plan on doing with the rest of your life? I don’t know. I don’t want to keep going on like I have been the past few years... 

Do you enjoy Chinese food? I like some. I haven’t had any in quite awhile, though. I’ve actually been really wanting potstickers.

Do you smile a lot? *shrug* I give a lot of half smiles.

What is your favorite movie from the nineties? That’s tough. I love a lot about the 90s.

Which decade were you born in? The 80s, albeit halfway through the last year of the decade. 

Are you good at giving advice to people? I think I used to be. Not now.

How many huge secrets do you have? Wouldn’t you like to know? Maybe I have a lot. Maybe I have none. Like the Tootsie Pop owl says, “the world may never know.” Oooh, I’m so ~mysterious.

How many people know these secrets?

How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once.

Do you ever floss? Once in awhile, but no not usually. 

Have you ever been in a long-term relationship? No.

Ever considered suicide? If so, did you try to commit suicide? Yes. No. Is there anyone out there who makes you feel completely useless? No, I do that to myself.

Do you like texting or calling people more? Text. I don’t like talking on the phone. I don’t a lot of texting either, though.

What’s your favorite band? Linkin Park will always be one of them.

Do you have a lot of friends? I don’t have any friends.

Have you ever painted something and been impressed by it? I don’t paint.

Would you rather go out to eat or stay in? Oh, I’m not going out to eat anywhere anytime soon. I don’t care if dine in is slowly becoming an option again. Things are starting to open up again in phases, but please don’t mistake that to mean we’re in the clear and it’s perfectly safe to do so. We’re still very much in the midst of this pandemic. Please don’t be lax about your outings or start going all over the place. 

When did you last babysit, if ever? Not since my brother and a couple of my cousins were kids. They’re all adults now. 

Do you have any younger siblings? Yep, just mentioned my younger brother.

Have you ever thought of someone as useless? I don’t think of others that way, just myself.

Have you ever considered bleaching your hair? Yes and I do.

Do you drink vitamin water? I was super into Vitamin Water back when I was in high school. I haven’t had any in quite a long time.

Do you ever straighten your hair? It’s been a few years since I’ve straightened it myself, but when I go to get my hair done the lady who does my hair straightens it.

What’s the best way to end a conversation? Uhhh it depends? 

Are there any old movies you absolutely love? Yeah, there’s several.

Have you ever had a Big Mac before? Many times. I’ll get a craving for one every now and then.

Do you think you attract the opposite sex at a reasonable rate? Haaaaa no, not at all.

Where is your favorite place to travel? Beachy places.

What is your goal for the next few months? Getting through the summer somehow. Next week we’re having a few triple digit weather days.... it’s not even summer, yet. I don’t know how I’m going to do it. I can’t even escape to the beach this summer. D:

Can you count to ten in another language other than your own? Sí, en Español.

Do you own a lot of shoes? A few pairs.

What is your favorite season and why? Fall and winter. I just love everything about it--the cold weather, the holidays, the smells, the decor, and just the coziness of it.

Does photography interest you at all? >> Not really. I like looking at photographs other people have taken, though. <<< Yeah, it interests me in that way but I don’t have any interest in taking up photography myself.

Have you ever played on a sports team before? If you have, what was that sport and when? Nope.

Have you ever filed a lawsuit on someone? No.

Do you think you’re a good singer? Nope, I know I’m not. Doesn’t mean I don’t do it anyway at home to myself, though. 

Would you rather wear jeans or sweatpants? I’ve only been wearing leggings the past few years.

Do you think you have a good sense of style? I like what I wear, which is all that matters.

Do you enjoy reading often? Yes, I love reading.

Ever had food-poisoning before? Yes. Not fun.

Where did you last eat dinner at? We got Wingstop takeout last night if that counts. I haven’t physically been out to eat in months, though.

Have you ever shot a gun before? Yes, once. I went to a shooting range with friends and learned how to hold and shoot one. I don’t know what type it was exactly, but it was a small handheld. It actually made me quite anxious doing so and even just being in that environment, so yeah it was just that one time. 

[iaal]

Illumi Dirty Alphabet

Ah fuck I finally finish it, I feel so light! Hisoka’s one is here and Chrollo’s here.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

You'd be the one doing most of the aftercare and he'd merely let you. He'd take you in his arms but don't expect a big reaction if you're affectionate afterward without asking him directly what you want him to do.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Illumi is nothing but practical and despite that he wears his hair very long, I mean did you see how shiny and silky his hair is? He obviously put a lot of effort in his routine. He loves his hair, you can cut one of his arm and it'd be like any other monday for him but cut a strand of his glorious mane and he'd unleash hell on you. For his baby's factory partner he's attracted to overly feminine figure, big boobs and wide hips.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

His cum is white, runny and doesn't tastes good at all, not that you'd taste it often, Illumi wants to cum inside almost every time.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He lost his virginity to a maid a bit older than him when he was a teen, a few years later he'd learn she was sent by Zeno to keep his hormones in check so it wouldn't interfere with his training. Illumi still sees it as a failure on his part to maintain a perfect control over his body at that time.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Not really experienced, him sleeping around doesn't benefit the family in any way so he doesn't see the point but he knows what he’s doing. He's met very few people catching his interest strongly enough to want to have sex with them but if he doesn't consider them as a partner he usually doesn't act on it. As an assassin he knows everything about the human body and finding the most pleasurable spots is easy for him but most of the time he wouldn't make much effort.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Nothing too acrobatic but a position where he could restrain you easily with minimal effort or move you around easily would have his preference. Pushing your legs on your chest during missionary and grabbing both your wrist with one hand for example is something he would do often, he just likes to have you completely malleable under him.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

You don't joke around in bed with Illumi, actually you don't do anything without authorization. You can try to push your luck but you'd probably be gagged and restrained if he's feeling lenient, worst case scenario he'd stop and prepare a new training to teach you how to behave.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

It's not a concern for him, his hairs are thin and he's not hairy at all, he goes all natural.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Everything with Illumi is about carrot and stick and he knows exactly what words you want to hear, not that he doesn't love you or that he'd be reluctant to be affectionate but he'd use it at the right moment to have the maximal effect. When you'd be particularly obedient and didn't make any waves for an extended period of time he would be extremely tender and reminds you everything he loves about you, he'd also be more focus on your pleasure and chose more intimate position, you would feel loved with every inch of your skin. He'd use this method to guilt-trip you if you were thinking of doing something to displeased him too, he would know even before you'd do anything and he prefers to not have to punish you if it can be avoided, making you afraid to lose his love is more efficient for him.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

A few time a year and he's only doing it because it's better to take care of it sometimes than just ignores it completely. When he masturbates it's not because something aroused him too much but usually just because he have some free time and that's part of what he sees as his body check up. Illumi doesn't take his time nor search for his pleasure, he just jerks off fast to be over with it quickly, usually in the shower, he doesn't need any mental images either he just knows how to touch himself to cum fast.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

A big pregnancy kink but he wouldn't admit it, for him it's just natural to want to put a baby in the woman he loves and he doesn't see how extreme he is about it. He's 100% a dom but I couldn't call his kink “master-slave role playing”, there's nothing playful about it, same with bondage, it excites him but there's no rules, that's the real deal.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

A room with a comfortable bed and fresh sheets. He can sleeps in holes in the ground but that doesn't mean he doesn't love being comfy.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

If you talk about wanting to be pregnant chances are that he'd want to get started right now with way much enthusiasm that he'd ever shows. Illumi is turns on by obedience but after a while it would simply be something expected from you, on the other hand being repentant and begging for his forgiveness after being punished for something you did will never stop to arouse him. He loves to reaffirm his control on you and bend you to his will once again.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

DON'T. TRY. TO. DOM. THIS. MAN

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He prefers to receive, he’d eat you out but it's something he'd rarely do, a treat given to you as a reward for your good behavior or if he wants something for you and needs you to be in good disposition towards him. He finds it enjoyable on occasion but it doesn’t especially turns him on.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Whatever he wants at the moment. Illumi is pretty selfish in bed and he’s concerned about his partner pleasure only when he decided to uses sex as a reward. His preference is for a fast steady rhythm when he just want to cums but he can take his time and be more sensual when he genuinely missed you after a long mission or when he feels a craving for intimacy.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Time isn't something he has an abundance of, so quickie would happen pretty often for practical reasons.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Nothing you could come up with would even compare to the tamest torture he’s experienced, if you can argue your case well enough and it has nothing to do with having him submissive he wouldn’t refuse trying something new.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Virtually he could go forever but he doesn’t have plenty of libido and time so he doesn’t last very long. I said he was selfish in bed but he does know that intimacy and bonding during sex is important, he’d find the time to have have a proper fuck day(s) where you would be fucking till raw. Coincidentally it’s almost always around your ovulation period.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

This man has a sex dungeon. He’s calling it a training room but it’s a fucking sex dungeon.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Illumi does have playful mood sometimes and likes to tease a bit, the only problem is that his playfulness could turn into full blown sadistic play really quick and he’d be really into orgasm denial and overstimulation. He can tolerate a bit of tease too but he’d let you know clearly when he’s tired of it.  

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Almost entirely silent, you'd need to know him really well to notice the change in his breathing to pick up what really has an effect on him. He would be louder if you play on his pregnancy kink.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He’s not big into roleplay at all but there’s a scenario he likes to play out often when his partner rp as one of his mark and beg him to spare her life in exange for sexual favor. It’s actually sometimes that happened a few time during his missions and he never took on the offer, he’s a pro after all, but the idea of accepting did get him hard.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Illumi’s dick is very long, just around 21 cm, a bit under average in width, straight and smooth, cut with an oval head.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Low the vast majority of the time, he can spend weeks without touching you and be perfectly fine. When he fucks you has a way to manipulate or reward you it has nothing to do with his own desire though but he has rare moments when he can’t get enough of you and would insist on fucking you 5 times a day because he genuinely is super horny.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I don’t think Illumi sleeps more than a couple of hours, when his body needs it he’d sleep longer but he’s a well-oiled machine and he gets enough rest with little sleep. I can see him staying in bed longer to cuddle with you until you fall asleep but it’d be extremely rare to see him fall asleep before you or even to wake up before him.

[ifbrd]

Who should know their secret identities: A Huggy and WordGirl Relationship Analysis

Let’s take a moment to discuss WordGirl/Becky and Huggy/Bob’s relationship. To label it, it seems to be an interesting mix of friendship, mentor/mentee, and parent/child. Today I want to specifically talk about the parent/child aspect of their relationship. I want to talk about a rule of Huggy’s that may not be best for Becky.

Like any decent parent, Bob obviously just wants what’s best for Becky. But sometimes what a parent or guardian thinks is best for the child, is not what is really best for them. For our favorite heroine and her sidekick/mentor, I think this is the case with their secret identities. Bob seems to be very strict on this subject, while Becky has shown a desire to share her secret with a select few people. Of course, Becky is protective of her identity too, but on more than one, on-screen, occasion she has wanted to share this secret with her best friends and family, while Bob continues to object to the idea. And there’s reason to believe this conversation comes up a lot more off-screen than we may have realized, which further brings into the question whether or not Bob’s perspective on the matter is the right one.

Let's take a look at some secret identity sharing (or almost sharing) moments, shall we?

The first incident was in WordGirl Makes a Mistake. Whilst feeling self-conscious about her mistake, Becky decides to confide in her dad and brother. Notice Bob’s reactions to this.

He abandons pizza. Bob. Abandons. Food. He never does that, even during the most crucial moments. At best he takes the food with him or scarfs it down before leaving. But he feels so strongly about this that he completely abandons his food.

Then he tries to discredit her in a panic. When she shares her secret with her family, he can’t look and once it’s all said and done, he looks very annoyed and disapproving. He doesn’t let up on this until he realizes neither Tim or Tj believe her.

Now let’s turn to Becky to see her perspective on the subject. Aside from the fact she was willing to tell her family, she states that she’s been “Holding this back for a long time…” clearly showing that she truly does want to tell them she’s WordGirl.

Next, we’ll examine The Good, the Bad and the Chucky, when Becky seriously considered telling Violet, and almost went through with it.

When the idea is brought up, Huggy immediately protests and is grumpy the rest of the episode. When Becky starts to tell Violet, Bob makes one last attempt to convince her not to. Becky doesn’t pay any attention to him and keeps talking, and Bob goes into full-blown panic. He even faints.

Again, compare this to Becky, who truly wanted—yearned — to tell Violet. Remember this episode defined yearn as being something stronger and deeper than a want.  Not to mention her reasoning says a lot about how much she wants this. “She’s my best friend, I tell her everything, and it would be such a relief to totally be myself around her.”

This episode also gives us some insight into how often this conversation comes up and how it usually plays out. When WordGirl first brings up the idea of telling Violet and Huggy objects to the idea, she frowns and rolls her eyes. She does this as though she’s heard this a thousand times and is tired of hearing it.

An even better episode to help us realize how this conversation goes is The Invasion of the Bunny Lovers. This is the episode where Scoops finds out Becky is WordGirl. Bob is under mind control the entire episode, and doesn’t find out about the incident until the end when Scoops calls Bob “Huggy.” The screen immediately shows WordGirl who looks extremely nervous and signals Scoops not to bring it up. 

Scoops doesn’t get the message and WordGirl then gives Bob a very nervous smile. This is similar to how a child acts when they are in huge trouble and want to either get on their parents’ good side or not even tell them to stay out of trouble. 

The next thing she does is fly away from Bob, again much like a child trying to avoid trouble.

After Huggy finds her, her expression quickly changes to a look of dread, like she’s about to get the lecture of a lifetime. Meanwhile, if we examine Huggy’s body language, he’s clearly mad and she certainly is getting the lecture of a lifetime.

Going back to my point about this being like a child in trouble with her parent, and how this shows us how the secret identity topic usually plays out, I see this whole interaction as being similar to family’s putting an emphasis on grades. Of course, the child wants good grades, but perhaps the parents are very strict about them, and when the child gets a less than satisfactory grade, she might try to hide it or wait for the right time to tell her parents, because she dreads the reaction they will inevitably have. The secret identity rule is such a strict one with little to no room for debate that Becky acted like a child with a bad grade when the secret got out.

And of course, this makes perfect sense. Becky was so young when she discovered her powers, she was at an age when most children want to show their parents every cool thing they can do. And at age 9-11, Becky has been shown to be very open with her parents, so of course she too would have wanted to share her abilities with her parents. But she clearly didn’t because…ya know, they don’t know about them. What would have stopped a censor-less toddler with not yet the brain capacity to think “maybe I shouldn’t tell mommy and daddy what I can do”? It was Bob.

Bob told her not to tell anyone from a very young age, and Becky listened to him because he was someone who loved her, took care of her and someone she trusted. But now she’s getting older and starting to think for herself and questioning whether Bob is right when he says “you can’t tell anybody you’re WordGirl.”

And maybe she’s right to question it.  There’s no doubt in my mind he’s just telling her she can’t tell because he believes it’s what’s best for her, but is it really what’s best for her? Granted, Bob probably has this rule so strict because the more people who know, the greater the odds a slip up could happen that lets the secret out to the world, which would undoubtedly be terrible. That and anyone who knows her secret would be worried about her in battles.

But is telling a few people worth the risk of all this happening? First, let’s look at how bad Becky wants this. “I’ve been holding this back for a long time” “I yearn to tell Violet I’m WordGirl.” Second, let’s remember why she wanted to tell the people she did. With Violet, it was because she was feeling guilty for not having told her and craved the ease for not having to hide herself from her best friend. And she told her family because she was having a hard time as WordGirl and her family started to notice.

Which leads me to my next point my most important point because this isn’t about what Becky wants. It’s about what she needs. In the case of her family, she needs to be able to go to the people who care about her and want to help her most. As much as Bob loves her and will do whatever he can to help her, he can’t solve every problem she has. Not to mention sometimes it’s not even that she needs their help and advice all the time, sometimes she might just need an ear to vent to that’s not Bob’s. And her family deserves to know what’s going on with their daughter. They deserve to know she’s worked up because she made a word mistake in battle, or that she’s acting rude because she’s been spending one on one time with Ms. Power. Her parents want to help her, but they obviously can’t if they’re not aware of that part of her life. And wouldn’t Becky’s life and crime fighting be easier if she didn’t have to lie to her parents to go do her job? Wouldn’t it be easier for her to say “I missed family dinner because I was fighting Two-Brains and the Energy Monster,” then to get punished for doing her job? I won’t even get into the fact that keeping secrets—that dictate a huge portion of your life—from your loving family is probably emotionally unhealthy.

As for her friendship with Violet: that had many problems that were because of the WordGirl secret. I won’t get too much into this here because one day I want to do a whole analysis on it, but in many episodes leading up to Rhyme and Reason, Becky and Violet were starting to have a rift wedged between them. And it always was because Becky had to leave to fight crime when Violet needed her. I’m not sure when these issues started, but if Becky had told Violet when she wanted to in The Good, the Bad and the Chucky, it likely would have gone differently than in Rhyme and Reason. This not only would have fixed a lot of problems in their friendship either before they started or before the problems had gotten bad, but also would have resulted in less drama. Most of Violet’s betrayed feelings were from the fact that Becky never told her, and she found out by accidentally photographing it. This would have saved Becky a lot of unnecessary heartbreak. Maybe not all of it, but a lot of it.

These are all fine reasons to tell the closest people in Becky’s life, but Bob’s perspective on this subject is still important too. More people knowing means the secret could get out easier, everyone who knows will be worried about her in battles and probably other things I’m not thinking of. The question is: Is it worth risking all that for the benefits of Becky’s friends and family knowing? There is not a definite, crystal clear right answer, it all depends on Becky and what’s right for her and her life, and I think as she gets older, she’ll start to question what the right answer for her is. Bob, however, is stubborn and I can’t see him changing his views on this subject very easily. I don’t want him to suddenly change is mind and let her tell whoever she wants, but I do think it’s important that he considers his perspective on the topic, might just be the wrong one. But I don’t know what it would take for him to consider that idea. I feel like it would have to be something extreme, like Becky having a mental breakdown from not being able to tell her parents things.

None the less I do think this conversation has been coming up more and more lately and will continue to be brought up more and more as Becky gets older and starts thinking more for herself.

[dailydoseofbeautiful-image]

1) IT’S OKAY TO FAIL

I’m not sure how other 34 year olds feel when their 35th birthday is coming up. As for me, I felt like my failures grew more apparent. Celebrate what you HAVE accomplished and be grateful for another day.

2) CRAVE TO BE A BEGINNER AGAIN

I’ve been wanting to try something new for a good minute. Like point number one, it’s okay to fail at something! This goes hand in hand with being a beginner. I strongly believe in being a student of life. I always wanted to learn a new language.

3) LOVE YOUR PARENTS

We are often so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old! If you needed a reminder to call your parents, this is it. Do it now! My mom is my world. She was my worst enemy as a teenager but now my best friend as an adult <3

4) MOVE AT YOUR OWN PACE

Fuck what everyone is doing on Instagram. Fuck what your high school friends are doing. Fuck what your college friends are doing. Live your life at your own pace. If you had kids or want kids before marriage, fuck it. If you chose your career before a man, FUCK IT. You will move at the pace that is meant for YOU.

5) SO LIVE THE LIFE AND TAKE EVERY CHANCE TO BE AS HAPPY AS YOU CAN BE..

Being true to yourself takes guts. First, you’ve got to face everything around you and figure out what is important; what you think really counts ;). second, you’ve got to interact with a lot of people who may see things differently.

6) RELATIONSHIPS

No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater... The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. and that’s the key. it’s like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot.

7) SOULMATE

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah.. too painful. soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then Leave.

8) 30S ARE BETTER THAN YOUR 20S

It’s the same! Except we’re still young enough to have fun without making dumb decisions. We’re also more mindful financially! We always have experienced and seen things and know what not to repeat. I feel a little more at ease at 30. I’m caring less about what other people think. I really don’t have energy for it anymore!

9) WEAR THE FUCKING SUNSCREEN

My mom always told me to wear sunscreen on my face. I never listened. I have a lot of sunspots on my face now! Wearing sunscreen helps protect you from skin cancer, wrinkles and sunspots/freckles. If you aren’t listening to ya mama, listen to me! lol I wear Glossier’s Invisible Shield, but they’ve been sold out for a good minute. So, I’m currently using Super Goop’s Sunscreen Moisturizer. So far, it hasn’t made me break out!

10) TAKE OFF YOUR MAKE UP BEFORE BED

At the very least, keep some make up removal wipes beside your bed! I know we’re tired af at the end of the night, but you’ll be doing your skin a huge favor in the long run. Just know that make up wipes don’t take off everything, you’d be surprised how much is still on your face! So always try to go further and do your skin care routine.

11) LIFE

This Life is what you make it. no matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes. it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girl’s will be your Friends - they’ll act like it anyways. but just remember, some come, some go. the ones that stay with you through everything- they’re your true best friends. don’t let go of them. As for Lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And i hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if yoi give up, you’ll never find your soulmate, you’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will? so keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.

12) GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT

Everyone on social media posts their highlight reels but only a few share the grit and grind behind it all. Don’t forget to give yourself credit even for the smallest things that you don’t think is “post worthy”. Pat yourself on the back!

13) BE MORE SELF AWARE OF HOW YOU REACT TO OTHERS

I strongly believe in the butterfly effect. How you treat others can leave a positive or negative effect on them. I always try my best to be kind to others. If I can’t be kind, I’m very quiet! Even if people are mean to me, I think deeper like are they having a bad day? Maybe my kind act can help them change their mood.

14) BE NICE AND EXPECT NOTHING IN RETURN

Best recipe to live by. So many people offer a lending hand but expect so much in return.

15) DON’T FORCE THINGS – LET IT FLOW ORGANICALLY

Someone who forces shit to happen is ignorant & aggressive. You can’t force relationships or friendships to work out. It doesn’t work that way if it’s ONE SIDED. Sometimes, TIME helps a situation out. Let it play out, what’s destined to be yours will be yours!!! All relationships should be bloomed organically. Always try to understand one another. Some people don’t move like you and that’s okay.

16) YOU DON’T TOLERATE PEOPLE OR SITUATIONS LIKE YOU USED TO

Enough said. Ain’t no body got time for that.

17) IT’S NORMAL TO SEE A THERAPIST

You don’t have to be “crazy” to see a therapist. I did and it was life changing. There’s a huge stigma with mental health, but it’s actually more common than people think. People struggle with it daily but hide it because of the stigma. I also found out that students who are trying to become a therapist offer free or very affordable services to those who don’t have insurance! Check out any college and I’m sure you’ll find something fitting!

18) MEDITATE.. DO THAT SHIT PLS

Practice your breathing too! Headspace is really helpful app that concentrates on various subjects: anxiety, depression, stress, etc. I don’t meditate long! It can be as little as 3 minutes. Taking a moment to find yourself again can help you in the long run.

19) NOW’S THE TIME TO SEE THE WORLD

BITCH, you better be planning to travel!!!!! I can’t emphasize this enough. If you’re a woman reading this, we MUST DO IT NOW. Before you have kids, just do yourself this favor. You won’t regret it. Seeing parts of the world has broaden my perspective immensely!

20) MARI KONDO THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR LIFE: CLOTHES, BOOKS…PEOPLE

I’m at this point in my life where I’m looking at everything and everyONE and ask myself, does this spark joy?! It’s completely necessary for you to start fresh and say thank you to things and people who no longer serve a purpose in your life.

21) IF YOU DON’T HEAL WHAT HURT YOU, YOU WILL BLEED ON PEOPLE WHO DIDN’T CUT YOU (@THEASLAYWAY)

You can’t rely on someone else to fill the void you were supposed to heal yourself first. Don’t be selfish and make sure that you are completed healed when moving on to the next partner!

22) DO WHAT YOU WANT, POST WHAT YOU WANT, LIVE HOW YOU WANT!!!!

WE AINT GIVIN A FUCK IN 2019 & MOVING FORWARD. Go ahead and post what you want. We’re not living for the validation of others.

23) DON’T LIVE SOMEONE ELSE’S DREAM

Currently trying to get through this right now. lol

24) MENTAL HEALTH IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS YOUR PHYSICAL HEALTH

This goes with 17 & 18. If I sound like I’m repeating myself, then it’s because I really am adamant about it! I didn’t always have GAD, but when I realized I had it, I learned to take the necessary steps to control my anxiety. I realized working out in the gym is not the only “exercising” I should be doing. I should be practicing affirmation, gratitude & meditation.

25) BE CAREFUL WHO YOU GET CLOSE TO

Some people really just in it for the gossip. Keep your circle tight and you’ll be aiite. For me, being in the social media industry has led me to meet several people. It’s rare to meet someone genuine, so I always make sure I keep my distance but still always show respect and give them an opportunity to open up.

26) OTHER PEOPLE MAY BE TOXIC IN YOUR LIFE, BUT MAKE SURE YOU’RE NOT THE TOXIC ONE

As you get older, accountability will help you grow. Owning up to your actions towards others can help you realize how you react towards others or situations. Before pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. I’m a strong believer of what you give this world is gonna come back to you.

27) PLEASE DON’T WORK OUT ON ONLY BOOTY AND ABS

I remember signing up for the gym and telling the membership counselor my goal was to grow a bigger butt and get abs. I’ve learned that your body works as a whole unit, not in isolation! Overall strength over aesthetic is the wave! I love being strong <3

28) RESEARCH HOW YOU CAN IDENTIFY PERSONALITY DISORDERS

You’ll come across people in your life that you can’t see eye to eye with. It could be family, your partner or your friends. I think it’s important to grasp a better understanding of personality traits/disorders such as narcissism, bipolar, emotional abusers, psychopaths, etc. They come or are in your life more often than you think! Not only do I suggest to gain insight on it, but also I recommend researching how to DEAL with it. I promise you things will come to light once you do.

29) LOVE YOURSELF – YOU CAN’T SERVE FROM AN EMPTY VESSEL

Your 20s are your selfish years. Remember to put yourself FIRST. We cannot love someone successfully without loving ourselves first. Our first love should be ourselves to know how WE want to be loved. We must feel secure before stepping into anything serious. Live life for yourself, be gracious and love yourself wholeheartedly.

30) BEFORE YOU ARGUE

Before you argue with someone, ask yourself, is that person even mentally mature enough to grasp the concept of different perspectives? Because if not, there’s absolutely no point.

31) NEVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

never take responsibility for ppl not seing your worth. There was nothing u could have changed them. No perfection would have made them loyal. No sacrifice would have them made committed. Stop taking blame for decisions that aren't yours

32) Success is never owned.. it’s rented, and the rent is due everyday. -pacman

33) SOMETIMES

I care too much, I trust too much, I think too much, I love too much, everything about me is just too much. But even so I wouldn’t want to change that about me. Just holding onto the hope that one day my “too much” will be everything someone could ever want.

34) FROM GOOD THINGS TO BAD THINGS

From good things, we learn to be a thankful person. From bad things, we learn to be a strong person. Remember that everything will not go the way you want it to. It's a matter of learning that life isn't handed to you. Stop worrying about what others want. Think about what you want, if you listen too much to what people say about you, you will never be who you really are.

[lesbianarcana]

could you just... like... answer all of those questions at once? I can't pick one but I wanna know all the things

Oh God okay

[[MORE]]

1. When did you start playing?

Oh a long time ago...over a  year ago I’d say? The main 3 were only up to uhhhh the Hermit book I think. I remember I stopped playing after that gross fetishy Asra CG came out.

2. What got you into the game?

The beautiful art and the tarot theme. This was before I knew what I know fdjhksd

3. Who was your first route?

Julian!

4. Who is your favourite route?

Honestly Muriel is shaping up to be my favourite so far. Before that, I loved Asra’s route.

5. Who is your least favourite?

So far, Portia’s. Don’t get me wrong - it’s nothing to do with Portia herself. It just feels a little stagnant and flat.

(I bet you expected me to say Lucio, didn’t you? Well, you’re wrong).

6. Who do you play in Heart Hunter?

Chibi Chandra!

7. Who is your favourite to chase in Heart Hunter?

Portia or Muriel!

8. Who of the not playable LIs do you wish you could romance?

The baker. Selasi route when?

9. Opinion on Asra?

Asra is often mischaracterised imo and held to an unfair standard that a lot of the other characters aren’t. I’ve seen many of these arguments and I’m tired.

Asra is not jealous, possessive, creepy, manipulative or shady. Not once does he act possessive towards the MC in any of the routes including his own (a possible exception could be made for the Reversed Ending, but what do you expect? That’s after the MC literally enables that behaviour).

Being sad or cautioning the MC against Julian is not being jealous or possessive. The way he talks about Julian it’s pretty obvious he felt more for the man than he realises, even if he doesn’t understand that himself.

Asra keeps secrets from the MC because canonically trying to remember too much too fast harms the MC. This has been established. In his route, he literally tells you that he hates keeping secrets from you. He takes you into his own personal gateway - an expression of trust and a willingness to open up to you. Does he do these things in the other routes? No, but that’s because you’re not spending that time with him.

I also see people angsting about how sad Asra is going to be when you tell him about Lucio in his route. Lucio harmed his parents and has been cruel to Asra so like idk what you expect. The MC doesn’t know this of course, but you do!

I think we also forget that Asra took a considerable amount of time and effort to rehabilitate the MC, care for them and reteach them basic tasks as well as magic.

Is Asra a perfect person? Of course not. He’s probably overly cautious, he can be a little distant and he reacts badly when in a crisis (see the deal he made with the Devil). He’s not always brave and not always strong, but why should we expect him to be? He’s a human being and he’s bound to have faults, but he has a generous nature and is remarkably well-adjusted considering the trauma of his childhood (don’t tell me that suddenly losing your parents is not traumatic).

10. Opinion on Julian?

I once said that Julian is likely hypersexual and I still maintain that. (For those of you who don’t know, being hypersexual is like..a tendency to engage in compulsive or self-harming sexual behaviour, sometimes as a result of trauma). I think Julian craves affection and associates sexual interest or sexual contact with his worth as a person. I don’t think he does it deliberately or to be manipulative, but because he has a definite self-esteem problem. I honestly see him as bipolar like me.

I think the way the fandom treats him as this dumbass uwu subby boy is kind of annoying. A lot of people I feel erase his bisexuality either by just ignoring it or by making homophobic jokes where the punchline is ‘ha ha he likes dick like you do!!!!’ like no shit, he’s BISEXUAL. But he’s also hard-working, brave, clever, pleasant and good-natured, and once he starts to really come into his own, he’s cheerful and optimistic. He has so many more good qualities than just ‘submissive and kinky’.

11. Opinion on Lucio?

This may surprise y’all but I actually don’t hate Lucio that much. I love to hate him as a villain.

I think he, like all of us, is a product of his environment. He grew up in a clan with a strong martial culture; his clan were warlike and frequently made war on his neighbours. We’re all influenced by our upbringing and I don’t think he’s an exception. I draw the line at saying he ‘just didn’t know right from wrong’ though. He’s not a baby.

But the differences between Lucio and the other LIs like Portia, Asra, Muriel etc is that Lucio’s life and his fate and the hardships he’s faced are almost entirely due to his own choices. It was he who decided on the eve of his eighteenth birthday to kill his parents. He sought out Vlagnagog with the intention of making a deal. He chose to continue to make deals. He knew he carried the plague and he chose to carry it across the continent including into Vesuvia, causing the deaths of thousands. He murdered and blackmailed his way across the continent. He wouldn’t have even needed to bargain for a new body if he hadn’t caught the plague that he brought into Vesuvia himself after making a deal etc.

Do I think he is a sort of cackling, villainous cliche or unrepentantly evil? No. I think he’s a person who has made deliberate choices that he is facing the consequences for and IMO it’s important that he face those consequences. I do think his main issue is entitlement and a profound lack of self-esteem (I don’t think he really believes any of the stuff he actually says about himself or other people; even Lucio’s not delusional).

I mean that’s about as generous and objective a take on Lucio as I can give you. I’ve made my feelings clear on him, but I don’t want to give the impression that I don’t actually understand him as a character, hopefully the above will prove I do haha.

12. Opinion on Muriel?

Out of all the LIs I think I relate most strongly to Muriel because of a few reasons: trauma, touch-starved, lonely and wants to connect but afraid of getting hurt (physically or emotionally).

Now that I’ve gotten personal, I really hate the way Muriel is treated by the fandom. He’s either called bland or boring, or he’s treated like he’s an animal, called feral and animalistic. He’s none of those things.

Muriel has a big complex about being alone. He was literally given away by his parents and left in Vesuvia on his own, to fend for himself on the streets. Being abandoned by his parents and not knowing why, not remembering is traumatic enough, but because of his size he’s often characterised as aggressive and strong when he’s always been gentle. Later in his life, Muriel was forced to fight and kill people against his will. I don’t think a lot of people get just how traumatic that is; not only being forced into doing Lucio’s bidding, but being forced to violently take someone’s life. I don’t blame him for leaving to live at his hut and resist connecting to anyone. It’s common for traumatized people to withdraw and isolate themselves, because the thought of getting hurt again is more frightening than being alone. But everyone needs human contact, and I think Muriel struggles a lot between wanting connection and contact (physical or emotional), between not wanting to get hurt again, to not feeling like he’s worth the effort. That struggle is something very close to my heart and that’s why I’m attached to him.

13. Opinion on Nadia?

Nadia has the biggest youngest sister complex and it’s almost amusing because I, too, have the same complex (even though I’m actually the older sibling!). Nadia, like me, feels like she’s always been compared unfavourably to her older sisters, and has felt like she has to work harder to prove she’s their equal.

It’s probably because she’s a Cancer like me. We have dual natures sometimes; the caretaker and the ringleader, who feel like we have to take it all on ourselves to get the job properly done, but who have moments where our self-doubt takes over.

I do find some aspects of Nadia’s route to be sort of odd, where it’s mentioned that the people of Vesuvia find her to be a tyrant. There’s literally no evidence to suggest that, so the only reasoning I can find next is she’s a woc. But race doesn’t matter in Vesuvia apparently so...what else could be the reason? Not to mention she’s been asleep for the past three years, so the people haven’t even seen the Countess in that time.

I feel like we didn’t really get to understand a lot about Nadia even from her route-why did she fall asleep? What on Earth did she see in Lucio? Why did she let him do all those bad things in Vesuvia before he died? (My initial thought was Cancers can be sloth-like and passive, so that could be why).

14. Opinion on Portia?

Of all the LIs I feel like it’s Portia I know the least about despite having probably the most appearances. Sure, she’s quirky and fun and cheerful, and that’s cute, but...what does she want? What does she fear? How does she feel about her brother being on trial?

I’m hoping we get to expand more of her personality in her route. I know her patron Arcana is the Star, so her route will likely be about learning to have faith in other people, but who knows.

15. What is your favourite Arcana card?

Justice. The Empress is a close runner-up.

16. Have you bought any of the official merch?

No, I refuse to give a single cent to Nix Hydra. (I really want those Tarot cards though hhh)

17. What is your favourite CG?

The one where Asra is sitting in the gondola. Squishy cheeks :3c

18. How many Arcana themed blogs do you have?

Three! This one, then I run an Ask Muriel blog at @ask-muriel-inanna and an Ask Asra blog at @ask-asra-and-faust

19. Do you draw any Arcana art? What is your favourite image you have drawn?

The cover I just did for my Arcana comic! I cant link but it's in #arcana comic and #my art

20. Self insert or apprentice insert?

Both are valid, but I have an apprentice OC.

21. Do you have an apprentice?

Yes I do! Their name is Daya

22. If there is one thing that could be made with the Arcana theme on it, what would it be and why?

Idk what this means I big dumb

23. What is your favourite ship?

Outside of the LI x MC ships I really do like Asriel and Portia/Nadia (but only if Portia isn’t her servant anymore).

24. What is your least favourite ship?

Muriel x Lucio, Asra x Lucio or Julian x Lucio. None of them would even consider ever touching Lucio with a ten foot pole and y’all know this.

25. On your first play through, what direction was your ending for the LIs?

Upright babey!!!!!

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

1. I am an INTP 5w6 female and I want to know how to meet new people, it didn't bother me before but I had a boyfriend.of 1.5years and I now miss having someone in my life, don't remember exactly what I wrote but I thought I had made a good choice and was really hopeful about that relationship and I tried hard to make it work but I couldn't deal with his bs anymore, I did for a while cause I thought he was worth it, I've been trying to build deeper relationships but didn't care before so imbehnd

2. My ex wasn't extremely manipulative but he lied and hid things from me and got angry when I complained when his stories made no sense, I left We knew each other for so long and I couldn't deal with him not apologizing for his bs and blaming me for what he was doing, I just couldn't justify the relationship even if I still loved him This lead me to believe my strategy was wrong since I thought I knew him and that he was more mature than that, no matter how high the filter this could happen..

3. It's just so disappointing, you know? That people can be such assholes after managing to present themselves as the opposite of that for so long I've never really had close friendships except for my ex, and a few friends (I guess?) I didn't care much for this before since I'm alright on my own, but I found that I really liked having someone, so I'm trying to meet new people now that I'm more or less healing, but idk how to do it, acquaintances used to fall in my lap before but not anymore

4. I'm 23 yo, about to get my degree. I do have a crush on a classmate but when I try to picture us going out it feels awkward and weird since I don't know him very well, I need to know people well before considering dating... I'm just very lost and I feel kind of behind from everyone else since I'm super inexperienced (only that one bf, and it was long distance...) and idk how to correct that at this point. I've been dressing better so people treat me better (haven't noticed, makes sense tho)

5. People do seem to like me well enough but I guess everyone already has their group of friends and is too busy to invite me places often enough that I become part of the core group, but I'm getting there, a bit (I think) I've been going everywhere I've been invited with my classmates lately but they don't really bring anyone new, I've managed to be a step up from acquaintance with a girl friend, which is nice, with older friends the same thing happens, even if we come across their friends...

6. I've always had a hard time fitting in very well, romantically I'd love to have someone at a similar experience level because I feel like I missed out on being a crucial relationship for the other person, but my ex had several gfs before and I didn't care too much then but now I do because afterwards certain things made me feel bad, but I guess I could manage anyway.I also get paranoid when I read what other bs some people manage to do like marrying someone but loving their bestfriend instead

7. I apologize for making it so long but I thought it'd be necessary to give a bit of info on myself and my thoughts, my age, what I've been trying etc I just wanna meet good people at this point in my life and want some tips on how to do that without taking extremely long only for them to be assholes anyways... I think I've managed to make some more acquaintances but I've only clicked with two girls I talk to outside of the classroom when we're not hanging out, gonna focus on them rn-----------------------

(very long response ahead)

I know this is not what you asked nor is it necessarily going to be helpful or relevant but: I would strongly rethink your type. Ti-doms and 5s are both vanishingly unlikely to drop seven asks worth of highly personal and emotionally open information in the inboxes of total strangers.

With regards to the actual question, this is really not an MBTI question (more on this at the end) and not entirely something I’d consider myself an expert on. I very much hope I am not the only person you can go to on this because I personally wouldn’t want me to be my only source of advice on this. With those caveats, see below.

I think Tumblr (and to be fair some forms of media) portray friendships and relationships as an attraction at first sight/immediate connection.

This is fucking stupid.

Because I tie everything back to my personal soapbox causes: this is why I have such disdain for the anti-small talk crowd, or people who think they’re special because they crave a deep, below-the-surface human connection. Nearly everyone wants deep connection. It’s normal and healthy. It’s also an ongoing process that nearly always involves some period of time during which you and the other potential friend are awkward acquaintances who don’t entirely understand each other and have to talk about surface-level things. You can’t speedrun intimacy.

This is particularly true in adulthood. Children do make friends more quickly, but also children are weird and fickle and a friendship can be based on little more than sharing crayons (not to knock that, plenty of great friendships started that way) while adults have a much better sense of who they are and also typically a much more narrow definition of who they want as a friend and all kinds of emotional baggage to boot.

Essentially, if you want a friendship that matches the depth of a relationship of 1.5 years it’s probably going to take close to 1.5 years to get there, and from what you said you’d known each other even longer before the romantic relationship, so add that time too. Which might not be what you want to hear, but it’s important to manage the expectation. Basically all relationships (and by this I mean romantic or platonic) start out with little connection, and you become friends through building that connection, and you can’t really rush it.

I believe in “clicking” in the sense of there being an immediate mutual interest in getting to know each other better, but speaking practically, regardless of the initial chemistry you are still basically intrigued strangers at that point. All clicking does is provide additional motivation for that process of getting to know each other. And speaking from experience, deep friendships in the long term don’t always have an initial “click”. I’ve had relationships that were initially quite intense fade away, and others slowly grow from acquaintanceship into lasting intimate friendship even if we didn’t expect it on first meeting. The myth of clicking is confirmation bias - unless there was a serious fallout, you’ll probably forget the people who you thought you clicked with if it didn’t just work out, and conversely it’s not hard to look back through the lenses of memory and nostalgia and find a single moment when a friendship or love crystalized, even though the reality is that it was merely the tipping point after considerable energy had already been invested on both sides.

In terms of practical advice, finishing up a degree is a uniquely awkward time, especially if all your classmates are in the same boat, because there’s often a mentality of “we’re all going to leave soon, let’s stick with the friendships we have.” Others in your class may not have that motivation to make a close connection, and it sucks but it’s temporary. The good news is that the larger world doesn’t feel that way. It is a bit more difficult to make friends as an adult, just because you’re not spending time with people naturally the same way as you do in school, but meetups and clubs and social organizations all exist for this reason and are explicitly there for people who want to make friends. And again, it’s going to be a slow process. I respect that it’s frustrating having to start from what feels like square one, but it’s unavoidable.

As for dating, you don’t need to do apps if you don’t want to! But you’re right. It’s going to be comparatively inefficient. Particularly if you prefer to date people you already know socially, you’ll have to put in a lot of effort going to social things and building those acquaintanceships over time and you might need to ask someone out face to face. Inexperience is fine. Everyone has to start somewhere. The tradeoff is more that you can’t screen people as well if you’re on apps, and they can be kind of impersonal but you do get to interact with many people quickly on your own terms without having to go outside and with the luxury of being able to think up witty comebacks instead of having to chat in real time.

(I do want to counter the idea that people who use apps are any less deep or anything like that. Some people are comfortable with casual hookups and some aren’t, but many people use apps to set up a date first and see if they have enough of an interest to keep things going. As with all of the above, everything has to start somewhere and if you think of the app as a way to facilitate meeting people, rather than “I must make a romantic connection with this person tonight”, and steer towards dating vs. hookup apps/make it clear you’re looking for long-term relationships, you might have more luck. The point of the first date for most people isn’t to find a partner, though sometimes that happens; it’s to find someone you enjoy enough to go on a second date with and slowly get to know).

One final thought: all this advice applies universally but I actually think considering it in the context of MBTI is more harmful than helpful, or at best misleading. For example, you say that being a 5 you take too long to check if people are safe, which whether or not you actually are a 5 also has absolutely nothing to do with being a 5, and even if you are a 5 and this is a 5 thing, you’re aware of this behavior! You can stop doing that then! MBTI is not destiny!

Regardless of type, no one automatically knows what to say in every situation, no one can read minds, and no one has discovered the secret to always being liked and never being rejected. Type can convey talent or inclination but skill requires time. Extroverts are often better with people because they have to be - they aren’t as okay with just being alone, especially when younger, so they go out and deal with people and through that process learn to make friends. But they weren’t born with it. Sites that favor introverts and/or intuitives are terrible for a lot of reasons but I find they perpetuate the ideas I disagreed with above, that friendships for introverts and intuitives must always be with people who Click and Already Get It. This is wrong and it’s limiting. Obviously don’t pursue a friendship or relationship if you don’t like the person, but don’t write someone off just because you didn’t feel a magical spark right away. That’s not being deep and sensitive - that’s being closed off to new experiences. Anything worth doing involves real-world effort and some amount of risk, and usually it involves patience and time and awkwardness and uncertainty as well.

[today-we-will-survive]

50 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @looney-joonie and should probably be writing so I’m going to do this instead 😊

1. What takes up too much of your time?

procrastinating...thinking about writing...while scrolling through Tumbr

2. What makes your day better?

talking to my ghost bestie 💜

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today?

getting to hang out with my love this evening

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

hmm I’m thinking Narnia would be fun...but like...after the wars and all that.

5. Are you good at giving advice?

I’d like to think so? I’m terrible at following it though.

6. Do you have any mental illness?

Depression/Anxiety

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

No and no thank you. I’ve heard it’s awful and hope to never experience it.

8. What musician inspired you the most?

Well, in all honesty, BTS 

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Yep

10. What’s your dream date?

read my First Date With Jimin fic to find out :)

11. What do others notice about you?

uhhh I honestly have no idea

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

I tend to crave attention...and I’m clingy...and oversensitive...and need all the hugs all the time

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

I don’t even know who I would say my first love was. I mean, I don’t really talk to many people from my past so I guess not?

14. How many exes do you have?

I don’t know who I’d say was my first boyfriend cuz like...I was a bit boy crazy in school...maybe five or six?

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Which one?

16. What instruments can you play?

I played acoustic guitar for a long time but haven’t in years so idk

17. What do you have the most pictures of?

....bts...

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

I honestly don’t know. Like I’m perfectly content staying where I’m at. I don’t really feel compelled to travel anywhere in particular. I mean, I guess if I have to choose, I think Japan would be cool. It just sounds like an interesting place to go.

19. What is your zodiac?

Gemini

20. Do you relate to it?

I have no idea. I’m not really into astrology

21. What is happiness to you?

Happiness to me is being content where you’re at, no matter the circumstance. And this is ongoing. 

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Yeah but who isn’t?

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made?

honestly I don’t feel like I’ve made many bad decisions in my life...like they all lead me to where I am now so I’m happy with it.

24. What’s your favorite store?

uhhhh I have no idea

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

I strongly believe in keeping my political opinions to myself. (stealing this answer)

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

I do! It’s pretty short at the moment but I’m adding to it.

27. Do you have a favorite album?

I really love BTS’s Love Yourself: Answer. I feel like it’s a good example of how varying their sound is.

28. What do you want for your birthday?

Oof I don’t know??

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

I don’t know but hopefully it’s good 😖

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

People usually assume I’m younger than I actually am.

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

on my nightstand.

32. What word do you say the most?

like, right, dude and seriously

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

like older than me? probably like...5 years? I feel like if there’s too big of a gap, there’s too many differences in like generations for me to be able to relate to them.

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

hmm probably the same. 5 years

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

Geez I have no idea :P 

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

I don’t have one

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

I like living in America

38. What is your current favorite song?

YOU CAN’T ASK ME THAT!! Also, surprise surprise, they’re all BTS 😂

39. How long have you had this blog for?

Since August of last year

40. What are you excited for?

HAWAII IN A WEEK AND A HALF and then my birthday :)

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

I tend to talk too much, but I’d like to think I’m a better listener

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

wrote...words

43. What do you want for Christmas?

to celebrate with my family like I do every year

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

I never really got good grades. I got okay grades. My okay-est was probably english.

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

hmmm maybe 6?

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

wife and mom are a given. Other than that, I have no idea.

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

haha I don’t know. It all seems so arbitrary now.

48. What age do you want to get married?

19 (as in, I got married when I was 19 😊)

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

author

50. What do you crave right now?

to not be uncomfortably full of food 😂

I TAG:

@dimpled-gukkie @a-romantic16 @euphoriajjkook @daisy-jeon

[looney-joonie]

50 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @bts-blackpink-bitch about 10 years ago (1 week) and I am finally ready to answer them lol

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Daydreaming about fic possibilities and what I could do with my life if I had the ability to create art.

2. What makes your day better?

Two things: my fiance and laughing.

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today?

My cat laid on top of me and purred really loud!

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

One that I have yet to put into writing.

5. Are you good at giving advice?

It depends. I’m pretty good at it in general, but each situation is unique and anyone who takes my advice knows that I have a disclaimer stating that I am not responsible for anything that happens if my advice is applied...just as a precaution lol

6. Do you have any mental illness?

No clue.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Yes and it’s terrifying!! I mean, one time I was able to make my head shake, but my fiance ignored my movement because I move in my sleep...so he thought I was asleep...

8. What musician inspired you the most?

I don’t really have just one

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Yes

10. What’s your dream date?

My dream date is my fiance. HAHA! (It’s true..) 😂

But no, my dream date is being picked up at hotel in a big city <me wearing a very nice dress, my date wearing a tux or suit> and us going out for a ‘night on the town’. We would dine at a 5-star restaurant and then walk around downtown until we came to a romantic place. My date would then ask me to dance even there’s no music because ‘the music is in our hearts'. And then he would take me back to my room and leave me at the door with a searing kiss.

*sigh* I love my fiance, but he would ruin my dream date because he can’t keep a beat to save his life. I’m sure he’d be able to make up for it somehow 😂

11. What do others notice about you?

They tend to notice I have a huge ass. They never really mention anything else that they notice...IF they notice anything else.

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

UM - ALL OF THEM?? I mean, I have so many that it’s hard to name them. Just ask the people around me and they’ll make long lists without saying the same thing as the other. #iannoyeveryone

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

No, but that’s a good thing.

14. How many exes do you have?

Five...and yet, they never took me on a date. #losers😒

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

My largest one has over 600 songs on it...so many genres, so little time.

16. What instruments can you play?

I played the clarinet when I was in high school and the piano before that.

17. What do you have the most pictures of?

Blurry shit because my phone screen gets turned on and then I’m too lazy to delete the pictures. 😬

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

I’m not sure. I’ve always loved traveling, but have never been super passionate about just one place?

19. What is your zodiac?

Gemini

20. Do you relate to it?

Yup. I’m #twinning everyday.

21. What is happiness to you?

Happiness to me is being able to toss away all of my negative thoughts, just for a moment, and focus on something beautiful. It could be the feel of a cool breeze on a warm day. The fluffy white clouds against a light blue sky or speaking the compliments I think instead of just keeping them so myself. 

Happiness is something you continuously work towards...and sometimes you have to accept that being content in the moment is the best you’ll get for now. I purposely stop to ‘smell the roses’ and enjoy the little things because everything I know and love is in a balanced state. I want to enjoy the moments I have now so that, when things have shifted and there’s the sense of unbalance, I can look back and draw on those moments. Those little moments are so important to be able to recall so that you can continue to work towards happiness in times of sadness. (Sorry for the mini...rant?)

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Yes. I won’t get too detailed, but back in February I went on emergency hiatus because my dad has CIDP (emergency hiatus post here). He hasn’t had a treatment since February, so his ability to walk and do other things has gradually become much worse. It’s not something that many people have to live with for a long time...which is why I had my happiness rant above. Plus I’ve been trying to get a better job since I graduated from college in December 2018, but practically nobody is hiring. So that’s great.

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made?

There really is no ‘worst decision’ for me. I am who I am today because of all the decisions I have made both good and bad. So, for me to point out my ‘worst decision’ would be to say I have regrets. Which I don’t because I don’t have time for ‘what ifs’ and regrets. I only have time for helping myself and others to better themselves.

24. What’s your favorite store?

Gift shops.

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

I strongly believe in keeping my political opinions to myself.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

Mentally, yeah. But I’m forgetful, so it’s ever-changing.

27. Do you have a favorite album?

Yes. Comedown Machine by The Strokes. I bought it because it looked cool and I love every single song.

28. What do you want for your birthday?

I really want to have a full-time job! I also want these BTS Hanahaki Series pins by Wiblash on Instagram!!

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

People think that I cower at anyone who seems to be an authoritative figure as well as be a ‘yes-man’

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

Everyone has thought I look like I’m either younger or WAY older than I actually am. Everyone also assumes I have kids. And I mean EVERYONE. 😠

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

On my nightstand to prevent an accidental fire.

32. What word do you say the most?

I say um, well, and like a lot because they make it easier to drag my sentences out when I lose my train of thought.

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

It’s kind of..besides the point now that I’m getting married, but at one point I ‘dated’ a guy who was almost 10 years older than me. I DODGED A BULLET WITH THAT GUY!! With my experience, I probably wouldn’t pick someone more than 5 years older than me.

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

I’ve always liked my guys to be slightly younger than me ( my fiance is about 9 months younger than me) and all my exs except the one mentioned in the above question were either the same age as me or a little younger. I wouldn’t date anyone born after 2000. Still doesn’t matter much since I’m getting married.😂

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

Retail. But that’s only because I’ve been in customer service so long that I have a lot of mannerisms that I have accidentally brought over into my personal life.

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

I don’t have one.

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

TL;DWR - Too Long; Don’t Wanna Research.

38. What is your current favorite song?

Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard

39. How long have you had this blog for?

01/07/2019 1:55:37 AM (thanks @memories)

40. What are you excited for?

The BTS concert on May 12th!!!! And for my ATEEZ project 'When Life Gives You Lemonade' teaser to be revealed on May 15th!!

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

Both. Once I’m started, I can talk for hours, but I love listening to people talk too soooooo...

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

AHGJDSAKLGHJA UHHH, WORK ON MY ATEEZ PROJECT!

43. What do you want for Christmas?

DLCs for some software that I have.

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

Um...College Algebra and English were my best subjects.

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

About a 9.8?

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

I can see myself being an author and a mom. 😊

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

First grade when I...liked this boy so much that I would kiss his cheek at least once every time we had gym class. Then he changed schools... (I found out later that it wasn’t my fault and that he had a slight crush on me then)

48. What age do you want to get married?

23. My wedding is planned for right before my 28th birthday, so ya’ll see how well that panned out.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

Author!!!

50. What do you crave right now?

MORE TIME TO WORK ON MY ATEEZ PROJECT!!!!!! Gosh...there’s just not enough time in the day..............................................😑

I’m tagging @angstchim @ughdesighhns @parkseonghwa @gothicmingi @requestfairy @mhysaunburnt @yurakwonhoseok @today-we-will-survive @supersailorjoonie once again! If ya’ll get tired of it, let me knowwwwwww......😅

[crossandchange]

50 Questions Tag!

I got tagged by @jongin-be-my-jagi and I’m doing this instead of doing reading for my classes... 

1. What takes up too much of your time?

YouTube. Honestly their algorithm on recommending videos is scary--I read some papers on this before and it works. We’re all just manipulated by what the algorithm shows us.

2. What makes your day better?

When someone sends me pictures of Kyungsoo! 

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

The cat sat on my lap for a little bit before disappearing to her hiding spot.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

Honestly, the last time I read any fiction (other than fanfiction) was in high school, and I’m not sure if I’d want to go to any of those places...

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Maybe. It depends upon the subject. I give advice to people if they ask me for advice or if I feel really strongly about something, and if their values and thoughts are similar to mine. If someone who’s not like me is asking for advice on something serious, I decline.

6. Do you have any mental illnesses?

Did have some trauma here and there after my traumatic hiking trip, but not any illnesses that I know of.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Not sure. pass!

8. What musician inspired you the most?

Jacqueline du Pre when I was young. I saw a recording of her playing the Elgar Cello Concerto and I was amazed by how much emotion she put into her music.

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Yes. It’s great but then when it ends it sucks. Therefore my policy is just to not fall in love. Yeah, yeah, call me a pessimist all you want.

10. What’s your dream date?

Again, I usually avoid the topic of dating and romance and relationships, so I don’t really put thought into this stuff... but maybe a picnic and ballroom dancing.

11. What do others notice about you?

That I’m a short kid and that I’m indian. And that I have braces even though I’m in college. It’s not my fault that I had to have dental surgery twice! My dentist says that in his 17 years of practice, I’m one of his hardest cases.

12. What’s an annoying habit you have?

I tend to expect more from people that I love.

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

Uhhh no not really. Just a quick hi how are you sorta thing every year or so.

14. How many exes do you have?

One.

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Don’t have a playlist, I just use YouTube Mix.

16. What instruments can you play?

Viola

17. Who do you have the most pictures of?

KYUNGSOO!!!! 

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Once to Japan!

19. What’s your zodiac?

I’m a Virgo. A Tiger Virgo.

20. Do you relate to it?

A little bit with regards to the Virgo perfectionist, where perfectionism becomes their downfall.

21. What is happiness to you?

Giving and receiving love, and knowing that even though shit happens, everything’s alright.

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Depends upon what “anything” means.

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made?

My traumatic hiking journey.

24. What’s your favorite store?

TARGET

25. (HALFWAY!) What’s your opinion on abortion?

I’m pro-choice, but conditional. It’s complicated. If you really want to know, talk to me in DM.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

I have lists here and there for errands and schoolwork.

27. Do you have a favourite album?

When I was in high school and had my semi-emo phase, Green Day’s American Idiot. But now it’s probably the EX’ACT repackage.

28. What do you want for your birthday?

Haven’t put much thought into it. Actually, I really don’t have specific expectations  for the future in general. I find that life never works out as you want it to. 

29. What is most people’s first impression of you?

My friend says that I have and I quote, “big bitch energy”. Honestly, it used to bother me, but I really don’t want to change my mannerisms and my behavior so that people think differently. It doesn’t matter that much, anyway.

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

On the internet, I seem a little bit older, like in my early to mid twenties. But in person, I get mistaken for a high school student because I’m a short kid. 

31. Where do you keep your phone when you’re sleeping?

Right next to me

32. What word do you say the most?

I have catchphrases that I like to use rather than just words. And they’re usually a translation from Tamil to English, so they sound a little bit weird in English. Or maybe that’s just me overthinking it. Some of my favorites are, “we’ll see”, “it’ll be okay”, and “thanks to God’s good karma”. Yeah.. the last one is weird in English.

33. What’s the oldest age you’d date?

22.

34. What’s the youngest age you’d date?

18. 

35. What job / career do most people say would suit you?

I have no clue, tbh.

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

Is kpop a genre?

37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be?

Switzerland!

38. What is your current favorite song?

f(x)’s 4 walls. And Dean’s Too Much.

39. How long have you had this blog for?

Since December 2015.

40. What are you excited for?

Finishing spring cleaning and getting into the groove of this new schedule!

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

Listener, I think. I’m not sure. I think I’m bad at both.

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Sort through all my damn clothes and set aside some for charity.

43. What do you want for Christmas?

I don’t celebrate Christmas. Some people will wish me to have a blessed Christmas but I don’t celebrate it at all.

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

Math courses, I think?? IDK

45. On a scale of 1-10 how do you feel right now?

A 4. I’m kinda stuffed up due to spring allergies, and I’m feeling some guilt from procrastinating on reading...

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

Probably working at a company with a family. 

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

In high school, at age 15. 

48. At what age do you wanna be married?

Somewhere between 23 and 26! Yeah sure that may be young but I’d rather have kids before 30. My family has a history of reproductive issues and all my older female relatives have had hysterectomies. 

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

I wanted to be a vet!

50. What do you crave right now?

For my headache to go away.

I’m gonna tag @myforeverforlife and @trishmarieco and @littlepcy and @littlebeckybee and whoever else wants to do this!

[sayonera]

✨🌸💖🍩 & 🌈 please? :D --gottawritethatdarkshit

I CHECKED MY INBOX AAAAH SORRY FOR THE LATE ANSWER I WAS AT WORK AND THEN I DID THIS WHOLE THING AND THEN TUMBLR DELETED IT SECOND ATTEMPT love you

And thank you for the lovely ask!

✨ which fictional character (book, show or movie) do you relate most to?

You are killing me here, angel.

I am a way too big nerd and know way too many stories aaah. I have been brooding over this for over 10 minutes before deciding for a logical approach.

Moviewise I will have to go for Ana from Frozen. Hear me out. She is kindhearted, optimistic, freespirited, a bit childish and craves so, so desperatly to be loved. She also is willing to see the best in people and to risk everything to save her loved ones. But she is also clumsy af and a little mess.

Videogamewise (muhahahaha I broke the rules) I identify with Seam from DELTARUNE. To be fair: we don't know a lot about the game yet since it is only a demo. But what we have seen from the plushie character really resonates with my more quiet, more dark side. He is lost, hopeless, grim. He feels abandoned and useless and unloved beyond saving. Yet he always has a wide smile on his face, is polite, helps the protagonists and bids them good luck, if a bit sarcastic.

Bookwise I always used to identify with Hermoine until I realised that I was not half as smart as J thought. Nowadays I'd say Thalia Grace from Percy Jackson. She died protecting the two little kids she loved and even after her death she would function as a shield of safety for dozens of kids. I want to be like that one day. (And she got back from the dead and joined a group of lesbian hunters so that is neat)

And showise... I really don't want to relate myself to another main character as it feels rather narcistic but it just feels right and hey - they are made to be relateable: Steven Universe. He went from someone who was perceived as too childish to be useful or to be taken serious to a person with so many expectations upon his shoulders. He has to manage those while staying true to himself, afraid to disappoint but yet always filled with so much positivity and hope and love and kindness until the very end.

With out of those four I will have to go with Ana as the person I relate to most though, I think there are just the most similiarities to whom I usually am.

🌸 what is your favourite flower?

I don't know if I have one of those ;-; I usually am more about plants like ivy, bonsai, willows and cacty.

But I do like blooming elder trees with their tiny white flowers and roses (generic I know, but for a reason)

💖 have you ever been in love?

Yes, yes I have. The first time I was pretty young, only 13 (I know, it sounds off), but it took me two years to get over her. The others where not as strongly felt (the first time, huh?), yet they both still linger a bit while my first love has ended for me completely. In either case I have never been loved back though as I have never been loved romantically at all haha

🍩 current mood?

Not so good, I am anxious, sad and tired (which was probably noticable in some answers). It is okay though, I will be okay. Hope you are better as well as everyone reading this. I wish every single one of you happy thoughts

🌈 things I find attractive in girls/boys

Girls: have you even looked at them? I am attracted to them because they exist and bless me with that fact and are beautiful aosbeidvwibdoshdu

For real though, depending on looks alone I have no type in girls. I like it when they smile. I like it when they talk passionatly about what matters to them a lot and their eyes sparkle. I like it when they are comfortable and relax. I like bad humour. I like it when they are willing to cuddle me and even more when they actually enjoy touch of any kind, even if only so small, because I am always touchstarved (I am so sorry). I also do like marks like scars, stretchmarks, birthmarks, freckles and so on. And sure I like boobs but I also love girls with no cups at all like you are gorgeous darling 12/10 would smooch.

Boys: I guess I like tall bois? Lol. And then either slim or wider, like a bear I shall not be shamed for my crush on Stan Pines or Crowley. And with fictional characters I tend to go for older guys which I would never ever do in real life

That was it. And that was long. I am sorry. For that reason - and because I gave you an ask already so I can't do another one as thanks though we can do another round of this if you want to... I am in... here are pictures of my cats as thanks

I love you all so much and thank you for your time!

Byyyyeeeee