#the only place that feels like home (kara) ↭ sam

[bostrichidae]

screaming without the v.

so. guess who just watched my adventures with superman season 2.

AUUUUUUGUAUGHHGH (/POS????? I THINK??????)

SPOILERS BELOW CUT

i love kara. i love the way her character was handled, i love her realistic mix of naivety and maturity beyond her years. i'll talk a bit more about her later.

the representation of krypton is beautiful. from kara's point of view, she sees the kryptonian empire as this utopian place where all was well in the world, but clark knows better. he's seen the truth of krypton from a mostly unbiased perspective, and could probably make the connections between krypton and similar empires on earth. he understands that the beauty of a so-called perfect world comes at a devastating price. of course kara didn't know about the destroyed planets due to her brainwashing, but even after she found out she denied it because krypton is perfect, because why would the planets have to get destroyed in the first place? why wouldn't they want to become part of this perfect world?

and clark. aurgh, clark. i stand by my belief that this is the best characterization of superman. his fear of hurting others, his fear of being a weapon, his constant fighting to protect the world from devastation and to unite all peoples within our nation even if the powers of that world reject him for existing. and when he became his worst fear, when his body became a weapon turned against earth, he still fought. he fought to protect his family, his friends, his home. he fought against himself, his origins, and everything he was supposed to be. by breaking free of brainiac's control, both kara and clark claimed their own identities. they separated themselves from their predecessors and ancestors, allowing the kryptonian empire to truly fall without the pillars of the next generation holding it up. i have so many fucking thoughts about the generational trauma of krypton but i won't get into that right now.

now back to kara and her relationship with brainiac. she was a sheltered, manipulated child, and her situation absolutely reeks of stockholm syndrome. she's aware that brainiac isn't her biological father, but he raised her. he saved her from that escape pod, she taught him to be strong. every time he called her weak, beat her, scolded her over small mistakes, he was only helping her get stronger! her father was never wrong, when he called her weak it's because it was true and he wanted to help her be a warrior!

right?

clark is an outside influence, a foreign entity, an unpredictable variable getting in the way of their relationship and helping her to open her eyes. but after everything, after brainiac is revealed to be the kryptonians' murderer, she still despairs when he dies. she feels sorrow for the man who nearly killed her cousin, who wiped out her people, who brainwashed her into acts of genocide. who raised her, who cherished her as a daughter, who shaped her into the warrior she is today. i think it will be fascinating to see how she copes with brainiac's death and her different environment in season 3, especially because we saw she kept part of her father abuser with her. she's a wonderful character they could never make me hate you kara from my adventures with superman. i think rät by penelope scott really works well for her and her life with brainiac, give it a listen if you haven't before.

other stuff i really liked about this season:

lois and sam, how their past together is revealed as their future together constantly shifts trajectories. two lanes diverged, amiright fellas... hahah... yeah. i love how lois still carries her father's lessons with her, even after everything he did. how yes, he was a shitty father, but he truly did care about keeping her safe. that he's a flawed character with problems of his own- and she acknowledges that, and recognizes why he does what he does. but still doesn't forgive him. this show is SO FUCKING GOOD at complicated relationships i swear

livewire and heatwave power couple? fuck yeah. monsieur mallah and the brain returning? hell yes. STEEL??? HELL FUCKING YES.

silas stone cameo and somewhat important role in the first half of the season, hopefully we'll see more of him soon... (hopefully we see victor. im a little bit not normal about victor stone. in a non simp way.)

kara and james is so cute... love me some healthy straight ships in my silly show about a himbo and his emotional support goblins. clois and jara double date RIGHT THIS INSTANT I DEMAND OF YOU

the alternate world where clark was raised on krypton... i kind of want to see more of that. like a short episode released independent from the storyline showing a bit more of kryptonian culture and what it would've been like to grow up there. i just think it'd be really neat

lex. calm down buddy. ur like 12. you don't need to go bald yet. sees season 3 first images LEX. PUT THE WEAVE BACK ON THIS INSTANT.

speaking of season 3... KON EL!!! HE'S ARRIVED!!! i'm actually tweaking out rn i need season 3 to be released. i need to know!!! fanfiction will only indulge my fantasies for so long.

clark and kara doing spiderman kisses with lois and jimmy thank you for coming to my ted talk.

cat grant is such a theater kid... she definitely played patty in a production of grease at some point.

if you've made it all the way to here then thank you for reading my essay(?) on why maws s2 is peak superhero media. and thanks for listening to me as i scream without the v anyways go watch this wonderful show

[natalievoncatte]

There had been a time when Kara was almost relieved when she lost her powers to a solar flare. The silence was like a lover's kiss to her ear, the peace like the embrace warm maternal arms. It was almost like being home. When her powers were active, the sounds and sights and sensations were always there, just around a corner made of concentration, beyond a door made of discipline. Kara could never tune out the cacophony. She could only tame it, bend it to her will.

Now the world around her had shrunk, it seemed, to a span of twenty or thirty feet, occupied by her sister, Samantha Arias, and a bedraggled, harried Lena Luthor. Kara could barely tear her eyes from Lena. Her best friend looked like she'd been through something terrible, bloodshot eyes wide, the tracks of tears still fresh on her face. One hand was stuffed firmly in her pocket, clutched firmly around what was probably a gun.

Alex, by contrast, had her sidearm out, held in the low ready position, scanning the mists around them with seeking eyes. Kara turned slowly, feeling as boxed in by her lack of superhuman sight as she was by the oppressive silence of this place.

"Where the hell are we?" said Alex.

Sam cleared her throat. "We're not going to find that out standing here."

Alex looked at her. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right."

She gave that little roll of her neck, the way she did when she knew that they were in trouble, and smoothly holstered her gun under her jacket.

"My car is gone, somehow, so we're going to have to walk. Which way?"

They were standing in the middle of a road, maybe twenty feet wide and paved with smooth cobbles, slowly being swallowed by the mud beneath them. The road was lined on both sides by dense forest, mostly pines with a few bare deciduous trees clawing their way up between the dull gay-green branches. Between the trunks was a deep and dense thicket, with thorns as long as the smallest of Kara's fingers. They weren't going that way.

Lena tilted her head, pointing with her chin the way she sometimes did.

"That way. I think I see lights."

Kara stepped up beside her, peering into the mist with her natural Kryptonian eyesight. Her vision was more acute than that of a human, just as her skeleton was denser and had more bones and her muscles had different attachment points and denser fibers, all of which made her about fifty percent heavier than she looked. She still had strength. She could still protect Lena, and the others.

There was a little flutter in her chest. There always was.

"Lena," Kara said, turning to her. 

"Not now. Let's get home, then we'll talk," Lena said, a tremor beneath the professional chill in her voice.

"I'll go first," said Kara.

"I'm the one with the gun," said Alex. "Kara, maybe I should take point."

Kara shot her a sharp look and started forward. Lena hesitated for a brief moment, then took up position just behind Kara's left shoulder, so close that Kara thought she could feel the other woman's presence.

As she walked, Kara chewed her lip, fighting the urge to look back and try to strike up conversation again. It ended up a kind of walking fidget, with Kara worrying at her palms with her thumbs.

She's mad. She must be furious. I should have told her. Why didn't I tell her?

"Did you hear that?" said Sam.

They all stopped. Alex turned.

"Hear what?"

"I thought I heard... laughing," said Sam.

"I didn't," said Kara, "but then again, I don't have my powers."

That wasn't true. She had this maddening sense that it was all there, just out of her reach somehow. She scanned the mist again, feeling her frustration mount.

"I hear voices up ahead," said Lena. "Look."

There were lights ahead, swaying gently as in a breeze. Kara squared herself up and led them all ahead, chin down, ready for a fight. She had to make sure they were all okay. 

The lights grew brighter. As they grew nearer, they began to flicker more clearly. Candles, or gas lamps. Shapes resolved in the mist, first the vague impression of vertical members and timbers, but as they grew nearer, Kara saw they were trellises and there were lamps strung between the uprights, swaying gently over rows of long picnic tables, each covered in an elegant silk cloth that must have cost a fortune. On the tables, a feast was laid out, half-eaten meals still on fine porcelain. Tall wine glasses stood still with their contents remaining, some half drained, the odd one here and there stained by the blush of wine or lipstick.

"Where is everybody?" said Alex. "I don't like this."

A larger shape formed in the mist as they walked between the tables. Kara glanced back and froze.

"That wasn't there before."

"What?" Alex started.

They all turned. There was a wall behind them, a high stone barrier topped with foot long wrought iron spikes, a tall barred gate in the center. Kara took a moment to work out the worked iron letters cresting the arched gate, as she was seeing them backwards: DURST MANOR.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Agentcorp. After Lena finds out kara is supergirl she leaves. She leaves the company to Sam and sells her penthouse and cars and is just gone. No one knows where she is and no one can find her. But Alex doesn’t give up, she’s tracks and search’s and after like a year she finally finds her in some small beach town somewhere across the world. And when Alex see how happy lena is, she has to debate if she she should go to her or not. She wants Lena happy but she loves her so much. You choose ending

It surprises Alex, how much she feels Lena’s absence. In their joint work on the harun’el, she’d gotten used to having an unexpected friend in the building. She knows now that only happened because she’d erased her memory of Kara being Supergirl. Every prior instance she and Lena had shared a space, the secret had hung like a sword between them, just waiting to drop. Only in those scant, confusing months had Alex been able to be completely open with her.

Alex misses it.

It takes weeks for her to stop looking toward her lab expecting Lena to be there, hunched over a microscope. Every time she goes to the coffee stand she remembers Lena’s order. Occasionally she catches herself thinking what Lena might say, what looks they’d share when Brainy was being, well, Brainy.

But where Kara’s grief is loud and blatant and visible, Alex keeps hers close. Her sister is the one who lost her best friend, after all. Alex only lost… what? A coworker? An almost-friend? All she knows is that it’s easier to focus on comforting her sister’s loss than to examine her own.

So she listens to Kara mourn. She dries away Kara’s tears and plys her back into sister nights with enough pizza and potstickers that she can barely stand the taste of either. All the while, she mourns in her own way– namely, by using DEO resources to scour every video feed, uploaded picture, and internet post for any sign or mention of Lena Luthor.

When Lena’s name pops up on a land registry in Santorini, Alex doesn’t stop to think. One travel site search later, she’s on a plane headed across the Atlantic. Upon landing, reality sets back in. What the hell is she doing? Flying halfway across the globe on a whim to track down a woman who doesn’t want to be found? Who doesn’t want anything to do with her, or her family? Who likely now regards her only as the sister of enemy number one?

It’s so far from anything Alex has done before that she feels completely unhinged– yet she flags down a taxi anyway.

Winding through the streets of Santorini towards Lena’s address, Alex quickly understands why Lena chose this place. It’s far enough from the tourist center to be quiet, yet near enough to the sea that the sunset takes Alex’s breath away. Alex stares at itso long that she nearly loses track of their destination.

Just before her driver makes the final turn onto Lena’s street, Alex asks him to stop. She’ll walk the rest of the way. She knows she’s made the right decision the moment her boots crunch on the cobbled lane. She need the grounding, the chance to stretch the anxiety from her limbs.

Armed with nothing but the overnight bag on her shoulder, Alex finds Lena’s new home and pauses at the end of the walk. The white walls and blue shutters of the small cottage somehow feel more imposing than the Luthor mansion outside National City– creepy Lillian portrait and all. She swallows thickly, her heart pounding in anticipation.

Before she has a chance to steel herself enough to brave the short walk up to the door, the blue slab of wood unexpectedly opens. Lena herself steps out, a woven straw bag over her shoulder. Her hair is longer than Alex has last seen it, left straight and relaxed against her shoulders. When she turns, Alex discovers she’s foregone her trademark lipstick, and has instead gone natural to complement the golden tan that makes her skin glow.

Lena stops short at the sight of her. Behind her sunglasses Alex watches the woman’s gaze bounce somewhere behind Alex, before lifting briefly towards the sky. Belatedly, Alex realizes who she’s looking for.

“She’s not here,” Alex assures her.

Lena regards her without betraying a single emotion. “I have to say,” she says, “you’re the last person I expected to come find me.”

Lifting one shoulder in a shrug, Alex lets her head tilt to one side. “I’m full of surprises.”

Silence hangs between them for long moments. As each second passes, Alex’s sense of displacement eases, setting her back on solid ground. For the first time in a year, something akin to happiness sparks in her belly, and she knows it has everything to do with the woman standing before her.

Lena looks… relaxed. Peaceful. At ease with herself and the world.

Too late, it occurs that her arrival here could very well ruin all of that.

Removing her sunglasses, Alex shifts nervously on her feet. “Can we talk?”

For a long moment, Lena says nothing. She doesn’t move, only studies Alex with an inscrutable gaze. But then, just as Alex opens her mouth to apologize and leave, Lena turns around and opens the same blue door she’d just closed minutes before.

“Come on in.”

//prompts are closed

[luthordamnvers]

I'm very curious about your Enchanted spinoff for Rojarias and the TWH - Dansen AU fic… If you want to comment further

The Enchanted Rojarias spin off, starts in the scene where Andrea uses the Obsidian Lenses, and she sees herself having dinner and Sam arrives and call herself her girlfriend.

Thing is, that whatever she was seeing via lenses, everyone else in the room was seeing too, because they were testing the tech. And that's how Sam figured out Andrea's feelings for her. Within the original fic, I just mention details, about their relationship. How Andrea had been pinning for Sam, but she never made her feelings known because Sam is married (for plot reasons), and how by the end of that fic, after some time has passed, they are actually together.

This fic is meant to fill in the gaps. However, I do have another rojarias fic, I want to finish first. Anyways, HERE, a enchanted spinoff snippet that I was going to paste here but it made this ask extremely long.

The TWH - Dansen AU was an idea that came from the SYNOPSIS of the way home when the show was first announced. I had really no idea what the show was about but i said DANSEN. Tbh, I only have the general outline, because this one will, very likely be a multichapter.

It starts with Alex being more of a MD than DEO agent, she does meet Maggie, they get engaged, they do have the fight about the kids, and Alex just like in the show just goes with Maggie's wish to not have kids. They get married, but as years pass, Alex gets more and more depressed about having kids. And now is Maggie who relents, and they decide to adopt.

Just like in s4, they get called about this young woman who was giving her yet to be born baby to the couple, and Maggie gets more and more anxious about the kid thing. Birth mom gets an scare, think Braxton Hicks, and Maggie has just a break down about how much she doesn't want to have a kid. And they both get hit by the realization that it could never work, they would always resent each other. The adoption agency is like look, birth mom wants a couple, so you can't adopt this kid, but we have this alien kid who we've problems with because she doesn't like anyone & she escapes all of her foster homes, etc, etc, and Alex have experience with aliens (because DEO) so maybe you can talk with her?

Enters Esme, the 5-years-old with an attitude and powers she can't really control. So Alex gets a foster kid, and a divorce happening in the background. Esme gets in all kinds of trouble because of her powers, & Alex starts flaking at work to take care of whatever mayhem the kid creates. Kara's like 'i want to help you, but every time i get closer to her she loses control really quick' taking her powers. Alex considers power dampening tech, but instead quits her job and moves with her kid back to Midvale. To a calmer place so Esme can learn about control.

Her relationship with Eliza is strained, to say the least. She's not all on board with the job quitting and the divorce but she helps Alex find a job at the local tiny hospital, and she's great with Esme.

Esme starts opening up, but she also starts having nightmares and panic attacks… It's a tiny town, so mental health facilities are lacking, but there is this therapist that just moved in a few months back.

Kelly is looking for a fresh start after her fiancée died. She takes in Esme, and they form a really strong bond. To Esme, Kelly's a friend

Kelly really cares about the kid too, and Alex starts seeing her like a friend too, instead of her kid's therapist. They get into this weird moral dilemma of 'there can't be anything more than this, it's unethical.' But to a 5 years old kid, that doesn't exist. And she's determined to get her mom(!) to date her best friend(!) Kelly.

It gets more complicated when Maggie shows up still without signing the divorce papers but willing to try with their relationship. Alex's like ‘I have a kid now, you cannot waltz back into my life and then leave again because you changed your mind. They decide to try couple counseling with the one (1) therapist in town.

Meanwhile, Esme is pissed about Maggie, showing up to romance her mom, and ruining her 'operation'. She regresses to her 'bad behavior' and she's suspended from school. Eliza picks her up and at work, Esme gets the power from a time traveler alien... More drama.

Like I said, it would TOTALLY have to be a multichapter, which is why I have not written it yet, because I'm scared of it.

ANYWAY, thank you for asking, darling.

[WIP game]

[reignthem]

@danviers said: 24. a kiss on the shoulder.

sam, who has always been an architect at making a new place a home ( no matter how uprooted it might be ), has never had a thumb inclined for greenery. she adds a touch that says sam was here in a playful knick knack like a ceramic dog with his tongue lolling out by the front door or a chalked-up bucket list in bubble letters by the kitchen. these things are easily replicated, inexpensive, offbeat enough that it's perfectly sam.

but she doesn't so much as adorn a corner of the house in national city with a bamboo or stud the windowsill of the apartment in star city with a cactus.

( once, she'd purchased a row of seedlings from a nursery only to drown them in overwatering. she'd tried again with a fuscia-bright flower only to find it browned, withering no matter how much she'd desperately carried it to light or nursed it with nutrient-rich soil. after that, she'd given up on nurturing any living thing other than her daughter, who seemed resolute on thriving like a weed despite any circumstance. & that was enough. )

so, when the weeks after kara's funeral roll by, what feels like a desert is so bereft of life, drained of color, sapped of the simplest flash of color, she is despondent at trying to help it back toward growth.

she tries to tend to what has now amounted to a badlands of grief, but there is no simple way to coax the weight of it away with a smile or gentle touch. blue valley is a fresh start, like repotting, but even that seems to be bereft of blooming in the wake of sam's futile tryings.

but she makes up for it with persistence ( or she tries ) & patience: she does the laundry, scooping up a forgotten pair of sweatpants from the side of the bed, cobbles together lopsided blueberry pancakes that come with too much syrup. alex might have laughed, sopped it up before, sticky-fingered & giggling. the grim flat of her mouth makes sam know that they must taste like sawdust in the void of loss.

( she aches for missing the crinkling at the corners, the intangible twinkle that comes with a dash of personal mischief or true enjoyment. it's here where she realizes that death takes more than the life of one person. )

she leaves for work in the morning with a fresh cup of coffee on alex's nightstand & a tender love you whispered into the heap of blankets trundled over her wife's shoulder.

each day, the blinds are open to let the sun in. every friday night, an offer to watch a bad action movie. she keeps looking, too, for a symptom of green, a floret that says things are getting better. it's hard. she's determined, but tired, missing what happy looked like.

it comes one day, months in, like a slat of dawn peering through a slate grey sky.

she's on the sofa with a glass of wine at her elbow & a file stuffed with month's end reports, pen tucked behind her ear with ink tippled into the callus at her middle finger.

the little verdant sprout appears like a blessing. alex is behind her, merlot uncorked & topping off her glass. i love you, is said with more weight than three words can hold, & a brush of lips along sam's collar comes with a reassurance squeezed into her shoulder.

it's simple, new, & shouldn't be exciting for everything they've shared together. but in the bleak, barren landscape that comes after death, it feels like a victory. there's still life ahead.

[solarastro]

“This isn’t about love.” (e4)

love sentence starters | @moralstood

    the words hit sam hard in the chest. she’s not sure she can argue with that. she doesn’t know what love even feels like. she doubts she’s even felt it for a fraction of a second. sure, she’s had a few friends over the years, but it wasn’t love it. it was convenience. she certainly didn’t love her foster parents growing up or her foster siblings. the best she could hope for was a bed where the door stayed closed the entire night. she certainly doesn’t love her employees who work the truck with her. that’s business. she loves her food truck, but that’s not something that can love her back. that’s hard work and determination. that’s her putting all of her into one thing. 

       so when kara says it, when she mentions love, sam goes stiff because what the fuck does that even mean. maybe she’s opened up a little bit. maybe she lets her stay. maybe she cooks her breakfast sometimes. maybe she drops off food at her work when she knows she’s not taking care of herself. but that’s just what she does. she keeps people fed. there’s no love behind it. it’s work. it’s good for business. her cards left behind with the platter of food she brings to S.T.A.R. Labs. 

      love isn’t a factor between them. she refuses to think about waking up and watching her sleep because it seems like the one time kara seems at peace – her features soften in the early morning light. she refuses to think about how often she thinks about her. how many times she opens their text messages and then closes right back out. because needing someone around never ends well. sam knows this. it’s why she doesn’t let people in. people are a disappointment. she’s a disappointment. but little things start to slip out. 

      she finds herself sharing about her life and asking kara about hers. she’s so curious and she files everything away. a special folder that says don’t look in here because she’s afraid of laying it all out. because maybe she’s been foolish with this woman. it was just sex, only sex and nothing else. it was clear from the beginning. but sam swears the lines have been blurring and not just from her end. she swears kara feels it too, but neither of them brave enough to take the first step because who would rush into heartache first. 

       then anger hits her square in the chest because sam didn’t fucking ask for this. she didn’t ask for kara to come to her food truck and hit on her. she didn’t ask for her to message her again. didn’t ask for her to stay over and sleep in her bed. and certainly didn’t ask for her to keep dismantling all her walls. she didn’t ask for the moments of softness followed by lingering kisses. none of this was what she wanted. she would be fine inside her truck cooking empanadas and ropa vieja and every other thing that comes to mind. but no, kara kent showed up and threw her entire world into a tailspin. 

       the rubber band inside her almost snaps as she thinks about the few times she’s almost told kara about ruby as they lie in her bed talking softly. she thinks about how love must feel like this – safe. safe when it’s just the two of them alone in the dark. she thinks she’s read about intimacy like this and now her stomach rolls. she’s weak. 

       drawing up to her entire height, she looks down at kara and shrugs her shoulders. “as if i would know what to do with love anyway.” but she does. she thinks she’s always hoped for it. not even in the romantic sense. just someone else giving a shit about her. stupid and foolish. “who can love a broken thing anyway.” 

       whatever armor she’s wearing is weak. she doesn’t want to push this issue. she doesn’t want to collapse. she doesn’t want to ruin things or maybe she does. maybe she wants to destroy this. her heart hammers wildly in her chest and she knows kara can hear it and hope she doesn’t push the issue. 

      “we should probably stop this anyway.” a smile finds her lips and curls them upwards. she’s sure she looks like a monster. she feels like one. “aren’t you tired of me?” she opens the door and jerks her thumb over her shoulder. “i have things to do.”

[searidings]

hi, i just love you and your writing

can i suggest something - you are in love (taylor swift) and supercorp

i cannot listen to that song without going yeah, that's them

(also on ao3 if you prefer)

Five years from now, Kara is going to reach across the table at Noonan's and take her hand. She's going to look deep into Lena's eyes, biting her lip as her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena's palm, and her voice will barely rise above a whisper when she asks, “When did you know?”

And when she does, five years from now, Lena will think back to this moment.

This moment, which is as close as Lena's come to happiness since she'd woken up ziptied to a chair in her brother's office. This moment which, despite the fuzzy feeling of her unbrushed teeth and the pungent aroma of burnt toast filling the air, is perfect.

Kara, bed-warm and sleep-heavy, is gazing beseechingly down at the charred remains of a slice of a bread as though if she only pouts hard enough, its edges will un-blacken and its corners will stop smoking.

“I'm so sorry,” she says as Lena rounds the screen separating Kara's bedroom from the rest of the apartment and perches herself on a barstool, tugging her borrowed sleep shorts a little lower down her thighs.

Kara's tone is mournful, her face so forlorn she looks to be one deep breath away from tears. “I wanted breakfast to be perfect, since it's your first time staying over and if it's terrible you might not want to stay again and I, I really want you to stay again, but I don't know why you would since you probably have a private chef waiting for you at home and I can’t even manage toast—”

“Kara,” Lena interrupts, biting at the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing as Kara's bottom lip trembles. “It's fine, really. I once set fire to my dorm kitchen trying to boil an egg. And besides,” she winks as blue eyes meet hers. “I like to give my personal chef the weekends off.”

Kara huffs out a relieved chuckle, her face brightening. “Oh, well, in that case,” she grins, a sparkle returning to her eyes. “I'd better feed you up before you go home. Never let it be said that I don't look after you.”

Lena can't help the smile that pulls at her as the warm bright feeling in her chest grows and grows. She tugs the sleeves of Kara's sweatshirt over her hands, fighting the urge to fidget as the blonde orders a frankly obscene amount of food from the brunch place on the corner.

She feels exposed like this, face bare and hair sleep-mussed, unshowered with unbrushed teeth, huddled inside borrowed clothes after the impromptu invitation to stay over when last night's movie marathon ran late. It's a far cry from the regimented composure she fights so hard every day to project, and something in her chest twists anxiously.

Kara is a reporter, after all, and National City really doesn't need any more reasons to hate Lena right now. The darkest corner of her mind – the one which has been waiting for the other shoe to drop, for everything to come crashing down ever since the whirlwind of Kara's too-good-to-be-true friendship had come blazing into her life – still worries that this may all be an elaborate ruse. A trap, a way to get close to her in order to assess her weaknesses, to bring her down with an inside scoop.

But in their six months of friendship, Kara's never given her any reason to believe she has any kind of ulterior motive. And despite the suspicions and anxieties hammered into her by a lifetime of hurt, Lena knows now that even if this is a trap, she'll take the bait willingly. Especially if it means Kara will keep looking at her like there might just be something in Lena that's worth her time.

"Hey,” the blonde says gently, leaning back against the counter opposite and pinning Lena with a searching look. “You okay? You kind of zoned out on me there.”

Lena jumps, blinking back into herself with a start. “Yes, sorry. I was miles away.”

The blonde only smiles, flicking on the coffee machine at her elbow. “You sleep okay?”

“Very well, thank you,” Lena answers, fighting to lessen the formality of her tone, to soften the edges her harsh childhood had sharpened into a fortress to keep the world at bay. “Your bed is surprisingly comfortable. I had a great night's sleep.”

"Perhaps the company had something to do with it,” Kara winks as she turns to pull two mugs down from the hooks at her shoulder. Lena thinks back to the smell of Kara's sheets and the soft pulls of her breathing, to the warmth of Kara's ankle against her calf and the strong fingers that had wrapped themselves in the sleeve of Lena's sweatshirt in sleep, anchoring them together. She blushes.

Kara only smirks, pouring their drinks and grabbing the milk from the fridge. “Well, the food's all ordered, it should be here soon,” she says over her shoulder, the waterfall of her golden ponytail mesmerising in the bright rays of morning light filtering in through the vaulted windows. “And you don't need to head off in a hurry, unless you have plans—?”

She glances back at Lena, who shakes her head. “Great!” she grins. “’Cause I was thinking, maybe we could check out the botanical gardens, since it's such a nice day? Oh, and there's a new bakery right across the street that I've been dying to try—”

Lena listens to the blonde's excited rambling with an endeared smile plastered to her face, feeling happy and warm and wanted with every fibre of her being. The feeling is new but so welcome she could cry, and Lena wonders – not for the first time – how she ever got so lucky.

Kara's presence in her life is like sugar in her coffee; meant only to sweeten that which has always been bitter.

Lena's always taken her coffee black. Softening the blow was never much her style.

But here, now, perched at Kara's breakfast bar with her hands wrapped around a steaming mug the blonde has brewed to perfection, sunlight streaming in and highlighting the angles and planes of Kara's face, the way she’s smiling at Lena like there's nowhere else in the world she'd rather be, she realises her reasoning is twofold.

Sugar isn't just appetising. It's addictive. And now that Lena's had a taste of sweetness, she's hooked.

In this moment, Lena knows. She's in love.

-

Four years from now, Kara is going to reach across the table at Noonan's and take her hand. She's going to look deep into Lena's eyes, biting her lip as her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena's palm, and her voice will barely rise above a whisper when she asks, “When did you know?”

And when she does, four years from now, Lena will also think back to this moment.

This moment, which may well be one of the lowest of Lena's life. And she's had some doozies.

The two bottles of wine she'd managed to mainline between Sam leaving to orchestrate damage control at L-Corp and Kara arriving and attempting to confiscate her glass have well and truly caught up to her now. She sways heavily on her stool, the room spinning. Tears sting her vision and guilt scorches her throat as she presses a hand over her eyes so she won't have to look at Kara's face anymore.

“Please, just— just, stop believing in me, okay?” she slurs, heart full to shattering with the faces of lead-poisoned children. “I am not worth it.”

She hears Kara sigh, and the room falls silent for a long long time. Lena drops her head fully into her hands, fighting the nausea that's taken root in the pit of her stomach. It could be the booze that's causing it, of course, but it could also be the incessant headlines baying for her blood, the bullet James had taken for her that she'd fully deserved, the curse of her family finally fulfilling itself.

The guilt, the worry, the crushing disappointment of the knowledge that despite her very best efforts, she'll never be anything but a monster— it's too much to feel. It's too much to bear.

So, Lena drinks.

She drains her glass. She pours another. Kara watches, silent and disapproving, fingers twitching against the granite countertop between them.

Lena finishes her glass. Splashes the last dregs of the bottle into it, blood on ice. Still Kara watches, motionless and mute. It's only when Lena's swallowed the last of the red and is lurching unsteadily to her feet to source another that she moves, a hand reaching out to encircle her wrist.

Shame ignites beneath her skin and she pushes Kara away. Snaps at her to go home, to learn to recognise a lost cause when she sees one and just give up already. Kara refuses with a stoic shake of her head, and Lena sighs.

They repeat the same routine three times en route to Sam's wine rack, the blonde shadowing her every step. Each time, Lena wobbles, head fuzzy and room spinning. Each time, Kara steadies her, and Lena flinches from her touch like her palm is a brand, snarls at her to leave, to cut her losses, to just fuck off. Each time, Kara refuses.

She eventually retrieves the wine after a number of unsuccessful attempts but overbalances on her toes, bottle slipping from her grip as she sways dangerously. And then Kara is there, glass bottle caught a split second before it can shatter, a firm arm at her waist that will not be rebuffed.

Lena struggles, shoving and protesting, but this time Kara does not give in. “Enough,” she says quietly, firmly, blue eyes burning a mere inch from Lena's own. “Lena, enough.”

Lena's unsteady legs buckle further and Kara’s basically holding her up now, walking her slowly over to the couch and she shouldn't be this strong, surely, shouldn't be lifting Lena onto the cushions quite this easily. But it's such a minor concern when weighted against the fact that Lena is personally responsible for the hospitalisation of children that her mind brushes over it, forgets it immediately.

"Please go home,” she slurs as the blonde arranges her on the couch, as she stashes the unopened wine far out of reach and sets about finding blankets and pillows in various cupboards. “Please, just— leave me alone.”

“No,” Kara says, almost snaps, glancing back over her shoulder. Partially hidden in the linen cupboard, her face is cast deep in shadow, a splinter of half-concealed truth. “I made you a promise, I gave you my word. I'm your friend, and I will protect you. Always.”

She crosses back to the couch, soft blankets and pillows held out in invitation. When Lena refuses the offering Kara sighs, draping a knitted throw over her anyway and perching on the cushions beside Lena's hip. “I'm not going to leave you, so you might as well stop asking,” she hums, softer now, a hand reaching toward her that Lena no longer possesses the strength or coordination to bat away.

Long fingers make contact with her cheek, with the mussed curls tangling in her eyelashes, and Kara sighs. “You are not your brother,” she murmurs, fingertips grazing Lena's cheekbone, sliding back to thread into the fine hair at her temple. “And you never will be. There's too much light in you to allow for that kind of darkness, so put that fear down, Lena. Let it go. Be free of it.”

Tears spring unbidden to her eyes. “I poisoned children.”

Kara tilts forward and Lena wonders if it's just that her vision has upped its spinning, but then warm lips are pressing against her forehead, soft and delicate as gossamer wings. Kara's mouth moves against her skin, breath damp and sweet and unmistakeably her. “You saved the world.”

Neither one of them moves. When Lena speaks again, the words hit the elegant hollow of Kara's throat. “I don't deserve your kindness. I don't deserve you.”

Kara's lips are still on her forehead. “I don't care.”

Lena feels as if her throat is splitting open, every last fear and hatred and worry and insecurity gushing out of her in an unstoppable stream. “I'm scared.”

“I know.” Kara's lips press once more, and then withdraw. They watch each other in the dim light from the kitchen. Lena's vision is beginning to blur at the edges. Kara's hand is still in her hair.

“You will get through this,” the blonde whispers, so earnest Lena almost manages to believe her. “We'll figure it out. Together.”

Heart in her mouth, tongue sticking behind her teeth, Lena's eyes slide closed.

The sweetness of Kara's words, her gentle touches, seep inside her like honey. She doesn't deserve it but God, she wants it. She wants to be worthy of Kara's faith in her more than she's ever wanted anything in her life. She wants Kara more than she's ever wanted anything in her life.

And it's telling, she knows, that she's just lost the trust of all of National City, that she has no way of easing those children's suffering and no way to prove that she isn't the cause of it, that she's finally living up to the Luthor name she's been running from ever since she'd learned what it truly meant and yet in this moment, with Kara's hand in her hair and the ghostly imprint of her lips on Lena's skin, none of it seems to matter.

In this moment, Lena knows. She's in love.

-

Three years from now, Kara is going to reach across the table at Noonan's and take her hand. She's going to look deep into Lena's eyes, biting her lip as her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena's palm, and her voice will barely rise above a whisper when she asks, “When did you know?”

And when she does, three years from now, Lena will also think back to this moment.

This moment, which stands alone as an oasis of calm in the turbulent tumult of the past days, weeks, months of chaos. Lex's escape from custody, Eve Teschmacher's betrayal, James’ shooting, the Harun-El serum, the whole shitty totality of it all has been weighing Lena down like an nth metal chain around her neck.

And Kara, Kara hasn't been around. The one person who has always managed to ease Lena's suffering has deserted her when she needs her the most and it feels like she's been sliced open, cracked in two.

She tells her as much, when Kara at last comes to see her. Tells her she's missed her, tells her she needs her, all but begs her to stay. And what does Kara do? She leaves.

And when she leaves, Lena is gripped by a panic so intense she fears she may never breathe freely again. So terrified is she that Kara is gone for good, that she's forced away the best thing that's ever happened to her, that almost before she knows what's happening she finds herself at Catco with apologies dripping from her own tongue.

Anything to get Kara back. Anything to keep her.

Lena apologises. Kara apologises. Lena cries, and Kara holds her, and tells her that the decision to help her brother when he was dying of cancer doesn't make her the monster she now believes herself to be. And standing on her office balcony with Kara's fingers wrapped around her biceps, with her own tears spotting dark on Kara's blazer, Lena manages to believe her.

When she's collected herself, smoothed away the wetness coursing down her cheeks, she speaks. “I really want to help you with your investigation on Lex.”

Kara's face lights up; Lena's whole world along with it.

“I'd love that,” Kara says, voice quiet and still a little tentative in the wake of their new truce. “But first— would you, um. Would you like to have lunch with me?”

Lena blinks. “Don't you want to get started on the exposé?”

“I do. But—” Kara's face is still painted that earnest shade from earlier, when she'd smoothed her hands over Lena's shoulders and whispered you are a brilliant, kind-hearted, beautiful soul against the sensitive skin of her neck. Lena feels her cheeks heat up at the memory, at the intensity in the blue eyes still roving her face.

Kara shuffles her feet but her gaze is clear, unwavering. “But you were right. I've spent too much time recently prioritising the wrong things. So, I want to work on this exposé with you, and I want to bring your brother down. But first, I'd really just like to have lunch with my best friend.”

Lena's heart trips in her chest. “I'd like that too.”

So, that's what they do. Kara asks her to wait, which she does, idly tapping out a few emails on her phone. And then the blonde is back, far quicker than should have been possible, with her arms full of takeout bags from the café on the third floor and she's taking Lena by the hand and leading her to Cat Grant's private elevator. She presses the button for the roof and Lena's gaze jumps to her face but Kara only smiles, and squeezes her fingers. “Trust me, it'll be worth it,” she hums, her excitement infectious. “You'll be safe with me.”

And Lena believes her.

That's how she ends up sitting at the edge of Catco's roof on a clean sheet Kara had borrowed from the builders on the second floor, heels kicked off, Kara's red blazer draped around her shoulders. It is worth it, she'll admit; the view from this high is phenomenal. The sun burns bright in a cloudless sky, glinting off the glass-sided skyscrapers of the business district, the glittering waters of the bay beyond.

Kara had picked up Lena's favourite salad, some flatbreads and dips, and they drink kombucha and eat strawberries in the sunshine. They talk and they laugh and they catch up and there's no more fighting, no animosity, no megalomaniac brothers or backstabbing secretaries or worlds needing to be saved. There's only them, she and Kara, and it feels like all she will ever need.

The blonde's hands are braced behind her on the rooftop and she looks happy and carefree as she regales Lena with stories of her upstairs neighbour's antics, and Lena feels the tight knot of tension that had taken up residence in her chest begin to unfurl.

"Hey,” Kara hums, pushing up straighter as Lena licks strawberry juice from her fingertips. The motion brings them closer, their shoulders brushing. “Look up.”

Lena does. High above them, a huge murmuration of starlings whirls and swoops through the air. Thousands of birds move together as one, a vast wave cresting but never breaking against the blue canvass of sky.

“Wow,” Lena gasps, awed.

Against her side, Kara hums. “Yeah.”

They watch the birds for a long moment, captivated by the ceaseless swirling and diving. When Lena at last tears her gaze away from the sky, Kara's eyes rest intently on her face. "Here,” the blonde murmurs, reaching out. The pad of one finger makes feather-light contact with her cheek. Lena's breath catches in her chest.

Kara holds out her finger, proffering the stray eyelash she'd captured with a smile. "Make a wish,” she whispers, her fingertip an inch from Lena's mouth. Her eyes never leave Lena’s.

Lena looks from Kara's face to the eyelash, and back again. From somewhere deep inside her heart, the truth bubbles its way to the surface. “I don't need to.”

Kara smiles, a brilliant, beautiful smile, and Lena knows. The stresses and anxieties of their current crisis feel far away here, harmless as birdsong. She's meted out forgiveness, received it in return. For the first time in her adult life Lena has communicated an issue with a loved one and been heard, understood. She has admitted her own mistake without having it spell out the end of her relationship.

Lena smiles back. The weight of the world sublimates into nothing beneath the bliss of a simple picnic in the sun.

In this moment, Lena knows. She's in love.

-

Two years from now, Kara is going to reach across the table at Noonan's and take her hand. She's going to look deep into Lena's eyes, biting her lip as her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena's palm, and her voice will barely rise above a whisper when she asks, “When did you know?”

And when she does, two years from now, Lena will think back to this moment.

This moment, which has sapped the both of them to the bone. Another fight, another screaming match, another quick-fire back and forth of accusations and recriminations. Another night of cursing and crying and choking on all the things they never said before this, on all the things they can't now that Kara's secret has detonated in the shrinking space between them like a nuclear bomb.

Another round of bloodshed, and for what?

Lena sags against the arm of the couch, exhausted. Her face is hot, scratchy with salt from the tears still drying on her skin. She's dehydrated, probably, and half hoarse from shouting, tongue blistered with the bitter sting of betrayal.

Across the no man's land of her living room, Kara slumps against the floor-length windows, drops her temple to the cool glass. She's breathing heavily, cheeks wet, posture battered and eyes dark-bruised beneath the force of Lena's wrath. As Lena watches, her eyes slide closed.

It's been three months since Lena found out. Three weeks since Kara found out that Lena had found out.

Every night since, they've done this. Every night, Kara has shown up on her balcony and begged, pleaded, apologised, cajoled, defended, rebuffed, and sobbed. Every night, Lena has unleashed the hollow agony of Kara's deception masquerading as anger in her chest, incinerating the both of them in the fires of her desolation.

She would have expected the wounds to have cauterised by now. To feel some kind of release, the relief of catharsis. Or at least, to have expended some of her fury after all this time.

She hasn't.

They've been at this for three hours already this evening, and gotten nowhere. Kara's skin is pale above that fucking supersuit, face drawn and complexion sallow.

Lena knows how she feels. The singular exhaustion that is her rift with Kara has sapped her in every way imaginable. She can't sleep. She barely eats. She's no longer interested in work, research, friends. There's nothing in her life that isn't tainted by the shadow of the lies her best friend told and kept telling, every day for four years. Lena doesn't know how any amount of screaming and crying is ever going to get them past that.

Across the room, Kara sighs. It might be the saddest sound Lena has ever heard.

“Should we keep doing this?” she asks after an interminable silence, voice rough with tears still building. Her eyes are still closed.

Lena manages, with exorbitant effort, to raise her drooping head. “What?”

“Is there a point to all this?” Kara asks quietly, hunched body sliding a little further down the glass. "The explanations, the fighting?”

Blue eyes blink open. The weight of the sadness in them is unbearable. Lena struggles to find it within herself to care.

“Lying to you about who I am is the single biggest mistake I have ever made, and if it will make even one single shred of difference I will apologise to you every day for as long as I live,” Kara says into the aching chasm between them. “But I can't keep doing this. Not if it won't change anything. I can't— I don't want to keep hurting you.”

An hour ago, Lena would have scoffed at a sentiment like that. Would have parried back with some piercingly dry comment about how the blonde should have thought about that before she decided to betray Lena's trust as soundly as she possibly could.

Now, though— now, she's just too tired.

“So, should we keep doing this?” Kara whispers, throat working. “Or— God, Lena. Should we just— should we give up?”

Green eyes meet blue, two shattered hearts haemorrhaging between them. “Is that what you want?”

“No.” Kara's voice is loud, fiercely determined in the face of Lena's hesitant whisper. “God, no. Never. I don't ever want to give up on you, Lena. I don't ever want to give you up.”

Kara straightens then, with a strength Lena cannot imagine mustering herself. Perks of being a superhero, she supposes. Perks of being Kryptonian. The thought stakes another shard of ice through her bleeding heart.

“But I know that I've spent four years calling the shots for both of us by keeping you in the dark,” Kara continues. “I've taken away your agency. I've taken away your choice. I won't do that again.”

She sucks in a deep breath, a little of Supergirl's regality seeping back into the defeated slump of her shoulders. “So, I'm doing what I should have done from the start. I'm being honest with you, and hoping that you'll be honest back. I'm asking what you want.”

Kara's fingers twist anxiously before her, bottom lip bleaching white beneath the nervous pressure of her teeth. “Do you think we should keep doing this? Or do you— fuck.” Her voice cracks, the tears brimming in her eyes once again breaking free. “Do you want to give up?”

Jesus Christ. Lena never knew that the prospect of doing the right thing could hurt so much.

“Fuck,” she mutters as she kneads her knuckles over her closed eyelids, digging in until white lights starburst across her vision. “Fuck, Kara.”

“I know,” the blonde whispers from across the room, brittle and broken. “I know. I'm sorry.”

Lena slows her assault on her own eyelids, pinching thumb and forefinger hard at the bridge of her nose instead. “I want to give up,” she mutters, and in the taut silence between them she hears the blonde gasp, watery and thick.

Lena blinks open her eyes to find Kara's face crumpling, every facet of her seeming to fold in on itself even as she visibly fights to keep herself upright.

Lena sighs, and hates Kara, and hates herself even more. “I want to, but— I can't.” She sucks in a ragged breath, hating the truth that's just fallen from her lips, hating the lies that had necessitated it. Hating everything and everyone and most of all, hating just how much she's hurting. “I can't give this up.”

The tiniest spark of hope flares to life in Kara's eyes. Lena hates that she notices, hates that she cares, hates that the sight eases the tight knot of devastation clawing at her ribcage just the tiniest bit.

She also knows that this was inevitable. She knows that, though she hates Kara, though she's nowhere close to forgiving her, though she has no idea how they can rebuild from here or even if she truly wants to try, a question like Kara's could only ever have one answer.

In this moment, Lena knows. She's in love.

-

One year from now, Kara is going to reach across the table at Noonan's and take her hand. She's going to look deep into Lena's eyes, biting her lip as her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena's palm, and her voice will barely rise above a whisper when she asks, “When did you know?”

And when she does, one year from now, Lena will also think back to this moment.

This moment, which is barely even a moment at all. It's more like a dream, warm and faded and fogged in darkness, seconds stolen when sleep should have long since claimed them.

Kara's nightmare had woken them both. In the month since they'd pulled her out of the Phantom Zone, she hadn't slept alone once. Often, she stays with Alex, curling into her sister's side the way she would when they were just kids after one too many late-night horror movies. Once, she stays with Nia, tucked up snug in a borrowed pair of puppy print pyjamas.

Mostly, she stays with Lena. It's natural and unspoken and easy as breathing, the way Kara will show up at her place after a Supergirl save or Lena will let herself into the blonde's apartment after a late night in the lab. They cook dinner and watch Celebrity Masterchef and brush their teeth elbow to elbow at the bathroom sink and when Kara is inevitably tugged screaming and sobbing from her night terrors, the way she presses her face to Lena's neck and her hand over Lena's heart is natural and unspoken and easy as breathing, too.

Kara's racing pulse has calmed a little, her grip on Lena's body beneath her losing some of its urgent desperation. After a long moment of Lena's hand stroking her hair, of gentle reassurances and lips pressed to her temple the blonde pulls back, just enough to rest her head on the pillow facing her.

In the dim light filtering in through the bedroom window Kara's pupils are blown, her face solemn. There's something in her heavy gaze that Lena can't identify; something weighted and potent that prickles goosebumps up the length of her spine.

"Feeling better?” she whispers into the inch of warm air between them, reaching out to tuck a sweat-matted curl reverently behind the blonde's ear.

Kara catches her retreating hand and holds tight, twining their fingers together on the narrow swathe of pillow between them. If either of them were to move so much as a millimetre, their clasped hands would press against their lips.

The blonde nods and sure enough, the soft heat of her mouth brushes the back of Lena's knuckles. She shivers.

Kara is still watching her, the intensity of her gaze causing Lena's heart to thud hard in her throat. She squeezes lightly at the fingers threaded through her own. “What?”

A pause, heavy and sweet as overripe fruit. Kara blinks once, slow. “You're my best friend.”

Lena swallows down a sudden swell of emotion. The blonde nudges closer and when she speaks, the wet seam of her lips catches on the angle of Lena's bent knuckles, painting her skin with the words.

“You're the most important person in the world to me,” Kara whispers, breaths skating fire-flashes across Lena's fingers, voice muffling out past the mouth pressed to her skin. “You know that, right?”

Lena's voice deserts her in the wake of the quiet words. She leans forward instead, presses her lips to Kara's fingertips where they rest against the back of her own hand. It's answer enough.

She hears Kara's breath catch, feels the disruption mirrored in her own chest. Both their mouths are pressed to the joined hands clasped between them. If they were to move their fingers down even just a fraction, there would be nothing separating their lips but a promise, a prayer.

Kara's eyelashes flutter in the semi-darkness. The tip of her nose brushes Lena's own. Neither one of them moves their hands.

They only gaze at one another a long moment, and Lena wonders if the blonde is memorising the planes of her face the way she's memorising Kara's. She could look at her forever, be happy here with her forever, and in this moment, Lena knows. She's in love.

For the first time, she wonders if she might not be the only one.

-

Right now, Kara is reaching across the table at Noonan's and taking Lena's hand.

It's been three weeks since they'd taken down Lex for the last time. Three weeks since Kara had stormed into the Tower's med bay to cup Lena's bloody, bruised face in her hands; since she'd brushed her thumbs feather-light over Lena's split eyebrow and purpling jaw and growled don't you ever scare me like that again. Three weeks since she'd leaned in and pressed her lips to Lena's.

It's been two weeks and six days since Lena, confined to a gurney but utterly uncaring thanks to the warm Kryptonian curled against her side, had pressed her aching face to Kara's shoulder and first whispered that she loved her. Two weeks and six days since Kara had first said it back.

It's been two weeks and five and a half days since Nia had walked in on Lena in Kara's arms, lips pressed to her neck and hands wandering beneath her sweatshirt, and promptly shrieked the place down. Since their friends had exchanged pointed glances and relieved sighs and congratulated them on finally making it official, their expressions ranging from overjoyed to exasperated to plain exhausted.

It's been two weeks and four days of she and Kara dating; of morning kisses and shared showers and the perfect partner at game night and all of Lena's wildest dreams coming true.

It's been less than a minute since Kara had admitted, hushed and wondering, that she'd known she was in love with Lena ever since she'd found herself suddenly prepared to poison National City's entire water supply rather than let Lena fall. That she hadn't been able to fully it admit it to herself until she'd found herself suddenly prepared to alter the course of all of history in order to get Lena back.

And right now, Kara is reaching across the table at Noonan's and taking her hand. She's looking deep into Lena's eyes, biting her lip as her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena's palm, and her voice barely rises above a whisper when she asks, “When did you know?”

And now that she has, Lena is sure of her answer.

The highlight reel of her relationship with Kara lays itself at Lena's feet, each precious memory between them stretching out like a roadmap of her growing affection, with every hard-won step leading her right to this moment.

And in this moment, Lena knows. She's in love with Kara. Really, she always has been.

[from-a-reckless-writer]

RE: the tags about being tempted to post a half finished fic and guess the ending, well you are a reckless writer for a reason

this is long overdue, so here have a fic.

It has come to the point that nothing fazes her anymore.

A kidnapping? Been there, done that. It means calling Sam Arias to intimidate the board of members into temporary submission.

An explosion at the office? Just a typical Tuesday. It means relocating to the 23rd floor and sharing the desk with two other interns for 2 months tops.

An assassination attempt? It means bracing herself for at least 3 deliveries of donuts and coffee for the two following weeks that Kara Danvers would be protectively hovering over L-Corp, until her boss snaps and shoos her away back to CatCo.

She’s seen it all, endured it all and she sure as hell is prepared for it all. She’s got three different ironclad statements ready to publish for whatever PR disaster will most likely turn up that week. She’s got contacts from the FBI, DEO, CatCo, Daily Planet, Gotham Gazette-- hell she even has Lillian’s personal cell (just in case the Luthor matriarch ever tries anything y’know? ) and yes, even the number of that 'Mexican place at 5th and Spring, you know the one Kara likes, Jess?'

She’s got two pairs of heels, a raincoat and four sets of outfits neatly folded in a duffel bag, at the back of the office, reserved for any emergency that requires a change of clothes.

The point is, she is an independent Asian-American woman who has worked her ass off for the better part of the decade and has long learned to take no shit from anybody.

Not even stupid superpowered Kryptonians.

See, it takes a lot to be her. It takes unlimited patience to put up with a woman like Lena Luthor, not because she’s a terrible person. Oh no, no, the complete opposite, actually. She is so overwhelmingly kind to a fault, and she doesn’t want nor let anybody see it. It’s infuriating to see sometimes. Okay, fine, she sides with the Krytonian on that one matter. But oh, ho, ho, not today. Today, she’s mad.

She’s livid, actually and it’s all Supergirl’s fault. (and Lena Luthor's too.)

Jess has had her fair share of ‘I-Should-Not-Have-Been-Here’ moments, like that one time she forgot to knock and stumbled unto Lex mid-yell with Lena whose eyes were shimmering but was still keeping a rigid posture.

Or that one time when she thought her boss had long left the office, only to be greeted with quiet sobs and an empty bottle of scotch rolling on the floor. Or that time she happened upon Lena, skirt and sleeves on fire with fumes rising from a green solution.

Apparently, her staff from the lab refused to let her in after three days of their CEO holding herself in isolation with the experiment. Lena had gotten the great idea of smuggling the chemicals to her office instead. Luthors are nothing but determined. Jess still remembers the adrenaline rush of holding a fire extinguisher—as if she were the chosen 5th grader for a school fire drill—and shoving her boss out of the way.

Like she said, nothing fazes her anymore she’s seen it all, except maybe, this one. Yep, definitely this one. This one just made a hot ball of fury unfurl at her very core. This one might just take the cake.

Jess was just going about her day, returned from a hearty lunch and feeling reinvigorated from that dose of sunlight and fresh air. It was a quiet day today, she noticed, which should’ve been a foretelling.

Nothing really is ever quiet. Well, when it comes to L-Corp, at least.

She’s been sitting on her desk for about a good fifteen minutes and finished with screening a few papers from their new contractors, when it occurs to her that the latest blueprints from R&D are still on her desk instead of already being reviewed by her boss.

She grabs the drawing tube and quickly makes for her boss’s private office. They’ve spent enough time with each other that Jess could just come and go as she pleases, instead of having to knock each time. Saves both of their time, that way.

Although, usually, she buzzes through the intercom first to double check, but it was 1:20 P.M and she knows Lena doesn’t have anything scheduled after lunch. So, she pushes the door, confidently strolls in and promptly stops in her tracks.

Jess stops breathing for a moment, blinks once, twice, stares at the scene before her.

Lena Luthor sat atop her work desk; blouse open, eyes closed, cheeks flushed, neck currently being ravaged by Supergirl with legs wrapped around the waist.

She probably should’ve just turned and left while they haven’t seen her yet. That would’ve been the smart decision, right? Yes. Yes, it was so very clearly The Right Decision.

Of course, she doubts she could look Lena in the eye for the next few weeks after that, but at least she wouldn’t know that Jess walked in on them during an er- make-out session? Office tryst? Oh God, she shudders internally. It sounds even worse.

Incident? Yep. Yeah. She’s sticking with incident. Indecent incident sounds more apt really.

She should’ve left. Would have left, if her eyes didn’t just land on the desk—well, more like Miss Luthor’s as- backside—and felt the stirrings of rage make itself known. Because there, underneath Lena’s ass (Backside!! Jess, that’s your boss!) is the squished—probably crumpled—pages of a contract.

A contract they’ve spent 5 months securing!!

Jess decides to do what everyone else would have done in a situation such as this; she clears her throat. Loudly.

Classic move.

Supergirl’s head immediately shoots up and Lena’s eyes snap open.

“Jess!” Supergirl squeaks and she sees the exact moment the realization hits Lena. Her eyes widening at her girlfriend’s exclamation, whips her head to the side, spots Jess, hands scrambling to a panic to close all the buttons of her blouse.

She hears Lena hiss, “Fuck, shit. Oh my God. Shit. How did she even- You have superhearing!!!” as she pushes Supergirl—who lets herself be pushed, stunned by the intrusion, face redder than a tomato.

Lena gets off the desk, fixes herself all the while to futile results. Her hair is tugged down from her usual ponytail, her neck and chest is marked, her lips swollen.

Supergirl's hands twitch at the sides and Jess sees her gulp as blue eyes frantically dart to Lena and her, and then Lena, and then back to her.

Lena finally turns around after those few awkward beats.

"Jess," she begins, clearly trying hard to put on her business bitch persona, but come on, there's a hickey under her jaw for fuck's sake.

"It's not what you-"

Jess doesn’t let her finish, she stomps her way across the office and forcefully puts the drawing tube on the desk. It makes a hollow thump.

“Jess I-”

“Supergirl, do you know how long it takes to finalize a business proposal, pitch it to the board, persuade the board and finally have a contract drawn?”

Supergirl gulps again. Lena’s eyes are wild next to her, she doesn’t like not knowing what the next best move is, Jess knows this all too well.

“Uhhh- no?”

Jesus Christ, you’d think after years of shadowing Cat Grant, she'd had at least learned a thing or two. Then again, if somebody is full on glaring at her after getting caught red-handed, Jess doubts she could answer coherently too.

“That’s right,” Jess says, “You don’t.”

“Jess,” Lena repeats pointedly. She knows that tone. It’s a warning.

“Ms. Luthor.”

A period not a question mark. It’s a challenge.

"I've spent all my evenings working late on that, do you know how many dates I've had to cancel? Just so I can secure a meeting with Qatar and simultaneously sync it with Beijing's time? My boyfriend hasn't seen me in two weeks!” Jess bursts out.

“Two weeks, Supergirl!” She gets close enough to jab a finger to the Girl of Steel’s chest. A feat she will gladly tell all her coworkers later when she’s calmed down enough.

“Not to mention, the 10 other people who worked their ass off trying to make sure that Miss Luthor's presentation is airtight, bulletproof and waterproof!” Lena has the decency to look a little guilty at this point, nothing big though, just a slight tug at her lips, but it was enough for Jess.

“IT TOOK ME 3 FUCKING MINUTES TO PRINT THAT GODDAMN CONTRACT WHICH MIGHT NOT SOUND LONG—” Jess raises a finger in emphasis, “BUT BELIEVE ME WORKING IN L-CORP? A 3 MINUTE DIFFERENCE CAN MEAN AN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT OR PSYCHOPATH PRESS!”

Supegirl of all people should already know this! For fuck’s sake!

Jess’s chest is heaving. She takes a deep breath, kneads her knuckles to her eyelids, “So, please if you're gonna have sex in the office, please, pleaseeeee clear the desk first. And at least, lock the door.”

She stares them both down, till Lena gives her a solemn nod; cheeks and ears still red. Supergirl squeaks out an, “U-understood, Ma’am.”

“Good. Glad we’ve come to an agreement.” Jess gives them one final nod before finally fulfilling what she came in here to do, “Miss Luthor,” She turns to Lena, “here are the R&D blueprints. Good day, to you Supergirl. I'll be going now. "

When she finally goes home, tells her boyfriend, and wonders aloud if she’ll still have a job the next morning, he tells her she’s such a badass.

And well, Jess can’t disagree with that.

*****

"Did I just- Did I just get yelled at by your secretary?? D-did she just chew us out?"

"She did, and she deserves a raise."

[mrs-bartowski]

Brace for impact y'all cuz my brain is being Extra Rude this fine Sunday. OKAY, so...

What with Lena's new unemployment status, obviously we have all these hcs about her being unable to afford the penthouse and moving in with Kara.

Then of course we have all the accompanying hcs about Lena's time in the apartment between now and when Kara gets back (blanket sniffing, inability to sleep in Kara's bed, ready-to-pack corner of belongings so as to not alter Kara's home, and all those other super fun things that make me wanna cry).

I see all of those (and love them) and I raise you one: the Mxy tapes.

So, we see right after Mxy leaves when Kara picks up "The One Where Lena Decided To Work With Lex" which is what, in combination with her realization that telling Lena the truth always has "huge" consequences, motivates her to make that super OOC decision to absolve herself entirely of her guilt and tell Lena she'll treat her like a villain if she works with Lex, yes?

Now, what if that wasn't the only tape Mxy left behind? What if he left a recording of each of those alternate timelines because, after seeing Kara twist what she learned to fit her frustration over Lena's continued cold shoulder and hearing what she said to Lena, Mxy decided she might want to watch them again at some point to remember the real takeaway: she's fighting for the relationship that saves the world...

Kara found the tapes stacked on the coffee table when she got home, with a note that said "You found the magic. Now don't lose it." She wanted to get angry, but instead she just put the tapes in a box on the shelf under the TV and tried to forget about them.

----------

Lena's hand shakes slightly as she slides the key into the lock, feeling the ghost of Alex’s hand rest gently on her shoulder as it had when she’d pressed the cold metal into her palm a few hours earlier with a silent offer and an encouraging nod. The door swings open slowly, and Lena is hit by a sudden wave of cold. Not temperature, but energy. It’s too quiet - no NSYNC on the speaker or Bachelorette on the TV. It’s too empty - no smell of fresh (slightly burnt) bread or yarn strewn all over the counter from Kara’s various crochet projects. It’s too...Kara-less.

Lena shakes off the feeling and slides her bag off her shoulder in the corner by the bookcase, careful not to knock Kara’s favorite cinnamon candle off the stool beside her, as she tells Alexa to play Nina Simone. She zips open her bag to pull out her favorite copy of Mrs. Dalloway and finds it missing. Realizing she must have left it in her desk drawer at LexCorp, Lena makes a mental note to send Brainy in after it tomorrow with the promise that he can change all of Lex’s passwords one more time before they leave the game for good.

Lena stares at the blank TV screen for a moment, dreading the thought of watching anything in this room without Kara’s head on her shoulder or in her lap. So, she crouches to look at the shelves of the TV stand, hoping to find at least one of the books she’d gotten Kara for her birthday last year wedged between the latest issues of CatCo Magazine and the recipe books Alex had gotten her in the hopes of spending less money on pot stickers every week.

She’s just zeroed in on The Color Purple when she notices a box she doesn’t recognize laying across the tops of the books on the other shelf. She reaches for it on instinct, then hesitates. She hasn’t touched anything of Kara’s since their falling out, and what if Kara’s “what’s mine is yours” rule no longer applies to her now? She considers leaving it alone and waiting for Kara to get back and explain, sliding The Color Purple toward her without taking her eyes off the box, before her curiosity gets the better of her and she caves, tossing the book onto the coffee table.

She opens the lid and starts at the sight of VHS tapes. Hasn't she taught Kara better than this? They'd converted all her old tapes to DVDs months into their friendship ("Kara, these things deteriorate so easily and the picture quality becomes awful, don't you want something that will last?"). She picks up the first tape and reads the label on the side: "The One Where Lena Doesn't Make It Back In Time." Her brows furrow as she stares, unblinking, at the title - demanding answers she knows only one person can give her.

She glances around, but doesn't see a VHS player anywhere, so she sets the tape on the floor beside her and picks up the next one. "The One Where Lena Can't Save Sam Or Herself." Lena shoves down her growing horror and discards the tape, hoping the next one will be less ominous. She picks it up and chokes back a sob as she reads: "The One Where There Are No Survivors."

Lena can't wait for answers anymore, so she gathers the tapes back into the box, grabs her purse and Kara's key, and heads to the closest library. Lena finds the old CRT sitting on a rolling cart in the back corner of the library, tucked between the stacks of kids' books. She pulls the first tape out of the box and slides it carefully into the slot.

30 minutes later, with tears and too-cheap eyeliner streaming down her face, Lena picks up the last tape. "The One Where Lena Was Never Your Friend." And here she'd thought things couldn't get worse. Lena takes a deep breath as she inserts the tape.

At the sight of the ruin that meets Kara and Mxy, Lena stifles the urge to laugh. Of course this is what a world without her best friend looks like. This exactly how it feels now, and she's only been gone a few weeks.

Lena's breath catches as she hears herself ask "who's Kara?," the mere thought of a world where the reporter had never believed in her, never cared enough to love her, almost too much to bear. Her hand drifts absent-mindedly to her chest as she watches herself reveal a kryptonite heart, and for a moment she can hear the sounds of her own screams as her mother's experiments rob her of the last of her humanity.

She presses her hand closer to her heart, sure that it's stopped beating at the sight of Kara on the ground, in pain at her hands but still refusing to fight her. Feels it shatter when her worst self says exactly the same words she'd said to Kara in the Fortress when asked why she had pretended to be Kara's friend for so long.

And she thinks it might kill her, this agony that's filling her body like acid. She wonders for a moment if this is what kryptonite feels like to Kara. Because it sure feels like her skin is getting seared off her bones and there are nails in her blood and it sure seems like she won't survive watching herself kill her best friend as she lies helpless and desperate on the floor.

And when Mxy pulls them out, Lena's breath returns full force until she's hyperventilating because Kara is gone and she doesn't know how long it will be until they get her back; and she was terrified of what she'd become when she lost Jack but she survived because of Kara; and if this is what losing Kara without ever having her in the first place looks like, Lena has never been more afraid than she is as she realizes what will happen to the world if she doesn't get Kara back. What she'll do to the world if it dares to take Kara from her.

So, when she gathers the tapes and goes to return them to the box and finds a note at the bottom that says "You found the magic. Now don't lose it," Lena promises herself that, for as long as she lives, she will do everything in her power to keep the magic that is Kara Danvers in her life.

----------

Alex knocks on the apartment door three days later and finds it unlocked. She pushes the door open and her hand drifts to her gun, but relaxes as she sees Lena's sleeping form curled up on the couch. Alex approaches a box she knows the contents of all too well and finds it open and empty on the table before she notices the VCR player and tapes strewn across the floor. She smiles softly as she recalls the image of Kara in the exact same position months earlier. And, as she carefully plucks the handwritten note from Lena's clutched fist, she smiles at the knowledge that, once Kara returns, no force in the world will be able to keep them apart again.

UPDATE: Ask and ye shall receive

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

[thornedrose44]

Prompt: "Do it. Take a chance, I'm begging you. You don't want to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been."

Read on AO3

“What is it?” Kara huffed out, her frustration finally reaching critical mass.

“What’s what?” Alex replied, playing dumb by pretending to study the DEO’s monitors far too intently considering Kara had literally just dispatched the rogue villain of the week.

Kara crossed her arms, hip cocked forward slightly as she leant against the central console, blue eyes observing her sister's profile closely.

“Whatever you’re not telling me because you think it will upset me.” The superhero clarified bluntly, her social hesitation and uncertainty having dampened over the last few years.

She had learnt the hard way how important it was to never shy away from the truth and avoid speaking around the heart of the matter. It was a lesson she had absorbed completely, and it was one she refused to forget - needing to prove she had evolved, had bettered herself from the version that had required teaching in the first place.

“I’m not…” Alex refuted, shrugging dismissively but keeping her gaze trained forward, “There’s no-“

“Look, I’m asking you out of courtesy,” Kara cut in, “but you and I both know that I could just as easily ask Nia, and she would fold almost instantly.”

Alex grumbled irritably under her breath - Nia still had yet to build an effective resistance to Kara’s puppy dog eyes and this particular weakness had caused no small amount of trouble for Alex over the last five years.

“It is Lena related, right?” Kara checked, though it was completely unnecessary.

For Alex to actively try and keep a secret from her, it couldn’t be about anything else. And it had been more or less confirmed by her sister's reaction to her threatening to go to Nia.

“Just because I’m keeping a secret, doesn’t automatically mean it’s to do with Lena.” Alex tried, though the conviction behind her statement was weaker than wet tissue paper.

The redhead side-eyed her and Kara merely had to arch an unimpressed eyebrow in return for the DEO director to deflate.

“Okay maybe it’s a little to do with Lena.” Alex admitted with a wince, rubbing the back of her neck in defeat.

Kara threw her hands up in exasperation. “It’s been over five years, okay? I’m fine!”

Her bellowed declaration of stability, made the nearby DEO agents look over with a mix of curiosity and concern. Kara grimaced at the reaction and as such didn’t resist when Alex grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the central room and into her private office.

Alex turned to face her fully, lips pressed tight together and hands firm on her own hips (it had always annoyed Kara that Alex managed to make her signature superhero pose far more intimidating than her own attempts).

“Yelling I’m fine, definitely helps your case.” Alex retorted, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Kara had the good grace to look suitably embarrassed for a moment before launching into the same variation of the speech she gave every time there was a morsel of Lena news to be had. “I screwed up, okay? Big time screwed up - ‘regret it for the rest of my life’ screwed up!” Kara declared prompting a beleaguered sigh from her sister who knew the blatant lie that was coming next. “But I’ve made my peace with it. I won’t spiral into another depressive episode when I hear how happy she is.”

Alex shook her head, not even remotely convinced - not that Kara could blame her, the last time Alex had been pestered into telling her a Lena update, Kara had spent a weekend on a drinking binge that had successfully proven that there were limits even for a kryptonian.

“I don’t think-“ Alex began.

“What is it?” Kara demanded. “Is she getting another medal from the president?”

Alex shook her head, jaw clenching and unclenching. “Kara, you don’t want to know this.”

“Her and Kal save the world again?” Kara barrelled on, her lips curling into a jealous snarl. “The greatest Luthor and Super duo continue to make the world a better place?”

That particular news article had been printed and burned by Kara’s heat vision more times than she dared admit to anyone.

“Kara, please-“ Alex begged, expression crumpling as Kara relentlessly pushed.

“Tell me, I can take it.” Kara proclaimed, voice coming out high pitched and strained. “Is she dating someone again? Another famous actress? That Olympic male gymnast? What-“

“She’s getting married.”

A bomb must have gone off, Kara thought to herself.

A kryptonite bomb.

It was the only thing that could explain the ringing in her ears, and the way everything just… hurt.

A shard of kryptonite must have pierced her chest and cut her heart into jagged pieces. That was the only thing that could explain it.

“What?” She questioned, barely above a whisper. She didn’t quite recognise her own voice - it sounded shattered and unfamiliar. She also didn’t know what she was asking.

Didn’t know what ‘what’ was all about.

What just happened?

What did you say?

What post-apocalyptic reality are we living in now?

“Next week, she’s getting married.” Alex explained, giving Kara answers she no longer wanted. “Sam, Ruby, Kal and Lois are invited.”

She knew it should sting. Not being invited even though they hadn’t spoken in nearly five years. That she should feel something about the fact that Lena had omitted Alex, Brainy, Nia and J’onn as well - it further reinforced how Lena believed them to be Kara’s friends and never hers (which was one of the things Kara regretted most - how her poor treatment of Lena had infected and destroyed everyone else’s friendship with the youngest Luthor).

“To who?” Kara asked, tone cold, hollow… empty.

“Kara,” Alex murmured softly, reaching out to comfort her sister, “this clearly isn’t good for you.”

Kara jerked backwards so fast that the papers on Alex’s desk shot into the air, fluttering down around the sisters like snow.

“Just tell me!” Kara ordered, hands turned into white knuckle fists at her sides that would be capable of tearing through the strongest of metals. Her eyes heated but she managed to stave the fire in them as she glowered at her sister.

Alex slumped back, leaning heavily against her desk, running a frantic hand through her short hair. “Does it matter?” Alex muttered defeatedly, brown eyes filled with pity and sympathy as she stared up into Kara’s eyes.

“Of course it fucking matters,” Kara snapped in outrage before she had a chance to stop and think , “because it’s not me!”

The admission hung heavy and rotting between them. It wasn’t a revelation to either of them, though the fact that the intensity of Kara’s feelings hadn’t dampened despite the separation of half a decade was.

“Kara…” Alex breathed, standing back up and moving towards the blonde with the obvious intent of hugging her.

“I should get back to CatCo.” Kara mumbled, cheeks a fiery red with shame. She stepped hurriedly away from her sister and was already halfway out the door before she halted, turning back to call out a sad yet sincere. “Thanks for telling me.”

Xxx

“I genuinely don’t get why you love these films so much.” Lena remarked, hands cupping her just made cup of cocoa, nose adorably scrunched up as she snuggled back down on the sofa beside Kara, who didn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around her best friend’s shoulders.

“They’re sweet and romantic.” Kara replied with a happy sigh, turning to nuzzle into the side of Lena’s head for a fleeting moment as the film’s lead started her joyful march down the aisle. “It makes me hopeful.”

“Hopeful?” Lena repeated curiously, leaning away slightly so she could meet Kara’s blue eyes.

Kara shrugged, ducking her head bashfully, “It’s stupid.”

“Hey,” Lena murmured gently, freeing a hand from her mug so that she could interlace her warmed fingers with Kara’s, “you could never be stupid, especially not about something like this.” Her best friend asserted, before asking seriously, “You want the classic big white wedding?”

“Uh…” Kara blushed, cheeks pinking as her mind struggled to kick into gear.

She didn’t know how to tell Lena that the reason she loved weddings more than any other event is because they so closely resembled Kryptonian Bonding ceremonies. That the exchanging of rings, polished everlasting metal, reminded her of wonderfully crafted bracelets clasped on wrists. That it was an occasion for family to join together across generations, for the rare flashes of art and music on Krypton to take centre stage over cold science.

She didn’t know how to tell Lena that after being alone, abandoned and lost - ripped away from her home in the cruelest of ways - that the idea of belonging to someone else, of having a home in someone else regardless of time or location was what Kara wanted more than anything else.

She didn’t know how to tell Lena because it would require admitting the truth of who she really was, it would require taking accountability for years of lies.

She didn’t know how to tell Lena without losing her forever.

“Yeah.” Kara coughed awkwardly, “I want the whole thing. Beautiful dress, surrounded by family… the love of my life at the end of the aisle. Everything.” She shot Lena a side-long glance, “I’m guessing you don’t?”

“Never really been my thing,” Lena admitted readily and Kara’s heart twisted at how Lena didn’t hesitate to bare herself, how she gave all of herself when it could be argued that Kara - at best - only gave half, “probably because I can’t imagine I have enough people in my life to invite and feel ‘surrounded’.” Lena pursed her lips thoughtfully, “I also don’t get the need for the spectacle. Just the idea that there’s someone out there that would want to…” Kara watched her best friend deflate, expression wistful and pained, “be with me, love me like that… that’s more than enough.”

Kara’s eyes stung with barely suppressed tears at how little Lena thought of herself. Whoever had the privilege of marrying her best friend would be the single luckiest and most fortunate person in the universe and Kara wished Lena knew that, wished she believed it. But when she opened her mouth to say it, to proclaim it, her breath faltered and her courage abandoned her… like it always did with the youngest Luthor.

“So no white dress?” Kara muttered instead, voice meek and lacking the lightheartedness that should have carried the question.

It didn’t matter, though, Lena let out a quick exhale that resembled something on the edge of laughter. Kara’s escalating heart rate settled at that, however, it did little to alleviate the pang of regret that was steadily accompanying all her interactions with the CEO.

“Well, I guess I could be convinced by someone special.” Lena teased, shooting Kara an overtly salacious wink that wouldn’t - on the surface - be considered genuine.

“Anyone that marries you will have to be special.” Kara replied, the statement tumbling out instantly.

It wasn’t the heartfelt confession that Kara wished it to be and it wasn’t quite light enough to be dismissed as a friendly reassurance. Instead, it was yet another thing that fell into the ethereal greyness that lied between them, something to tuck away and think back on late at night when they tried to work out if the other meant it the way they wished they did.

“Yeah?” Lena whispered, piercing green eyes studying Kara’s face closely.

Kara swallowed thickly, “Yeah.”

Xxx

Lena found out less than six weeks after that movie night. They defeated Lex and Kara had been on the edge of breathing easy, of being able to simply relax back into her life when it all came crashing down.

They had been at Games Night and Kara had been antsy, waiting for her best friend to arrive. The thought of pulling Lena into a hug had been what she had been looking forward to most all day.

Kara was at peace, laughing and drinking with her friends - her family - when Lena had arrived. Kara had beamed up at her immediately and for a second Lena’s entrancing green eyes lit up in return before turning dark and distant.

Kara’s smile faltered, crinkle appearing between her brows when-

The wine bottle smashed into the wall behind Kara’s head.

Deathly silence fell over the area.

Kara looked into hollow, emptied out versions of her favourite green. She would have preferred anger, fury, rage… the defeated nothingness staring back at the Kryptonian was far worse.

Lena turned and left, grinding Kara’s heart to dust and taking the sand particles left with her.

She knew.

She knew because Lex had told her.

She knew because she had gone to stop her brother, intent on saving the world like always only to find out that those she was saving the world for didn’t view her as their equal. That the people she treated as family had kept her on the outskirts. That her best friend had lied, had manipulated, had-

xxx

It was Lois that found out everything from Lena.

When the fallout had happened, as Kara and the Superfriends realised what they had lost, the blonde hero sent notice to her cousin that his identity was probably known as well (mostly because she remembered how hurt she had been when Kal shared her secret without her consent). Kal and Lois had arrived almost immediately, frantic and terrified (especially with baby Jon to consider) at the concept of a Luthor knowing their identity.

Kara, joined by all the Superfriends, quickly put their minds to rest, sharing Lena’s actions from before, her dependability, kindness and inherent goodness. Kal and Lois were convinced their secret was safe but they were horrified to hear how Lena had been isolated and kept at arms length after her considerable good deeds. Alex and the others had squirmed uncomfortably and tried to weakly talk around their hesitancy.

Kal and Lois had simply looked at Kara for an explanation but she had none. Yet again the words would not come.

It was Lois, therefore, that had sought out the youngest Luthor and through her incredible tenacity was able to gain access where everyone else was rebuffed and harshly rejected.

It was Lois that comforted Lena, gave her support and sympathy.

It was Lois that relayed Lena’s demand that they give her space.

It was Lois that suggested Lena return to Metropolis - presenting it as a way to celebrate how L-Corp, after Lena’s repeated sacrifices and heroism, was fully rehabilitated and ready to reclaim its once home.

It was Lois that encouraged Lena and Kal to work together becoming an unstoppable force that Kara and Lena had always danced on the precipice of.

A Luthor and a Super. Saving the world.

xxx

Kara did as asked. Gave Lena space. Or at least the semblance of space.

She checked in constantly, hovered nearby throughout the days and nights leading upto L-Corp’s departure and Lena along with it. She followed Lena’s jet to Metropolis, a sentinel ensuring safe passage.

She kept her distance for three months. Three months of stony silence before she broke.

Snapped, more like.

Landing on Lena’s new balcony in Metropolis that had been specially built for Superman this time - not for her, though Kara, at the time, had hoped that she had been considered consciously or unconsciously as well.

Kara couldn’t remember the exact words.

She remembered crying from beginning to end.

Remembered ‘I loved you’ - past tense.

Remembered finally breaking through Lena’s cold, hardened shell to the raw, bleeding wound hidden underneath and regretting it almost immediately.

Remembered how seeing Lena’s agony was worse than kryptonite, worse than watching Krypton burn…

Remembered Lena saying she needed time to heal, for Kara to stop hovering nearby - because she knew, she sensed Kara’s presence even without seeing her once - and to give her time to stop thinking of Kara and feeling only pain when she did so.

Remembered promising to do just that.

Remembered a timer starting to count in her head - the seconds that she would be condemned to purgatory.

Remembered the hope that just refused to go out - the hope that whispered give it time, give it time, give it time with every beat of her heart.

Remembered thinking that given enough time Lena would reach out and they would get the chance that Kara had almost destroyed for them.

Remembered flying zig-zagged and dangerous to Alex where her endless stream of tears returned to full flow as she sobbed into her sister’s shoulder using words and phrases like ‘heartbroken’ and ‘I love her’ and ‘I can’t survive this pain’ and ‘what do I do?’ and ‘I can’t breathe’.

Remembered a hollowed out shell of Kara Danvers moving through the motions for a year, for two, three, four… five...

Remembered taking up drinking to excess whenever she saw Lena’s life flourish and grow - not because she didn’t want Lena to be happy, that was what Kara wanted and wished for more than anything - because she wasn’t there with her for those life-changing events.

Remembered Alex and Kelly’s worries growing with each occurrence, intervening more and more to such a degree that they encouraged Kara to consider AA meetings - she did eventually, and found destroying entire junkyards to be a healthier coping mechanism, external destruction rather than internal.

Remembered Brainy at the behest of Alex, setting up Kara’s phone and computer to prevent searching for any keywords affiliated to Lena and to alert Alex if Kara ever managed to stumble upon a news article.

Remembered listening to Kal and Lois skipping large parts of stories where it was clear that Lena was involved - it was nice in some way to know Lena was getting the credit she deserved, but it hurt when Kal’s stories started to involve gaps at Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year (events that made Kara’s loneliness even more acute and her longing intensify).

Remembered her life without Lena.

Remembered regret and guilt and loss.

Remembered-

“She’s getting married.”

xxx

Kara shouldn’t have been there. Shouldn’t be anywhere in the vaguest vicinity of where she currently was.

The bride was dressed in a simple silky white shift, sipping intermittently from her champagne glass as she stared contemplatively up at the designer white dress hanging off the door in front of her. Raven locks were pinned up, so tight and intricate that it made Kara wince sympathetically at how it must tug and pinch at the bride’s scalp - she’d always preferred it down, loose and curling… soft and inviting. The bride’s make-up was artistic with a dramatic edge that would captivate but made her look… not like herself in Kara’s opinion.

Or maybe after five years it made Lena look more like herself - the version of herself she had become once free of Kara and all the pain she brought into her life.

She was hovering outside the dressing room window, trying to work out how far she was willing to take this. If it would be better to leave without saying anything, to try and leave some part of Lena’s life unspoiled.

It was the fear that she had always given into when she was best friends with Lena that made her decision for her. Like speaking her truth and learning to ask for what she wanted - Kara had also promised herself that she would never allow that bone deep fear to stop her ever again.

The window was open and it was as good an invite as Kara was ever going to get.

“Lena?”

The beautiful bride-to-be jerked in her place, champagne glass nearly tumbling to the floor but saved at the last second.

She didn’t turn around for a beat… then two…

Kara was just about to escape back through the window when Lena exhaled slowly and pivoted round to meet her.

“Kara?” Lena breathed out, green eyes closed off and wary.

The kryptonian studied the love of her life for a moment, taking in every little detail - soaking it all up as if accepting that this would be the last time she might ever get to see it again. That the timer that had counted past five years would stop after this moment, the hope powering it gone forever.

“Don’t marry them, please.” Kara requested, no flowery language, no build up. Just the honest truth.

“What?” Lena’s jaw dropped and the champagne glass didn’t survive the second shock, crashing to the ground - released by trembling fingers.

“Don’t marry them.” Kara repeated, uncaring of how the carpet below them soaked up the amber liquid.

Lena’s expression flitted through an array of emotions before settling on indignant rage, “And why the hell not?!”

Kara didn’t flinch, didn’t retreat, instead she stood taller, the crest of her super suit catching the early afternoon light. “Because it should have been me. It still should be me.”

Lena scoffed in disbelief, “You can’t be serious. Now? You’re doing this now?”

Kara pursed her lips, fighting back the regret that always came with the reminders of countless missed opportunities. “Yes.”

The straightforwardness of Kara’s answers seemed to be throwing Lena, leaving her wrong-footed, clearly expecting the blonde to talk around and hint and imply like she used to.

But Kara had learnt. (The lesson had been too painful not to.)

“You had years, Kara!” Lena argued, “Years where I…. I threw myself at you. Practically begged you to love me… to trust me…”

“I know.” Kara replied sadly, wanting desperately to reach out when Lena’s pretty green eyes began to glisten with unshed tears. “I know. But I’m here now.”

“I don’t want you to be.” Lena muttered, arms crossed over her chest and head ducked downwards to hide her expression.

“I know that too.” Kara assured, fingers twitching with the desire to make contact, to comfort and coax - even after all these years her body remembered, the pathways of hardwired instinct related to her best friend were still there, still active even if temporarily closed for service.

“Then why are you here?” Lena murmured, voice barely above a whisper.

“Because I’m in love with you.”

Lena’s head snapped up at that, green eyes like saucers.

Kara’s single biggest regret was that she had never said those words to Lena before, had alluded and pointed at them during their final interaction but had never outright said them. And Lena had deserved to hear them then and deserved to hear them now to forever vanquish the doubts that had always been with her.

“Because I’m in love with you and we didn’t get our chance.” Kara affirmed, taking a half step closer to the bride, her red heeled boots and Lena’s bare feet meaning the younger woman had to tip her head ever so slightly back to maintain eye contact. “We didn’t get our chance because of me. Because I was afraid, I was so afraid of losing you. Of doing even the slightest thing that could mean you weren’t in my life. And in the end every action I took out of fear of losing you ensured just that. I’ve spent five years without you, Lena, and I can’t bear a single day more.”

“Kara,” Lena whispered, “I’m getting married.”

“I know.” Kara smiled sadly before adding, “Don’t.”

“What are you suggesting? Seriously?” Lena sighed, shaking her head mournfully and Kara knew she was losing her then.

“I’m suggesting that we have our chance now before it's gone forever.”

Gathering the small amount of courage Kara had left, she tentatively let her hands nudge forwards, brushing against Lena’s cool, pale fingers. That small contact was everything. Made it easier to breathe, made the colours of the world more vibrant, made everything just more.

“I let fear hold me back from the person that made me happiest in the entire universe and I won’t let it hold me back again.”

“Kara…” Lena whimpered, glancing back over her shoulder at the closed door that her wedding dress was displayed on, though she didn’t pull her hand away from Kara’s touch, didn’t flinch or retreat.

“Do it.” Kara pleaded, stepping across that final slither of distance between them, her forehead leaning forward to rest gently against the side of Lena’s, “Take a chance, I’m begging you. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been.”

Lena inhaled shakily, head returning to forward facing - foreheads pressed against one another, breathing in the same air - and then… and then…

Lena’s hands slipped fully into Kara’s, fingers intertwining together.

[captain-josslett]

Broken Melody - Part Sixty

Masterlist

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 7.1k

Warnings: ⚠️ Suicidal thoughts ⚠️ Angst, fluff.

Pairings: Alex Danvers x Sam Arias, Kara Danvers x OC

This Part: The Superfriends come together to try and help Emma out of the pit of depression she is in.

Apologises for the late post. Things have been a bit tough here but my writing has helped keep me going. Please let me know what you think as it does mean soooo much to me.

Remember, you are loved, you are enough and you are important.

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.

Taglist: @finleyfray, @life-is-hella-unfair, @natasha-danvers, @supergirl-writingz, @camslightstories, @inquisitive-nix, @thinking1bee, @aznblossom, @checkingoutforheroes, @mmmmokdok, @certainkryptoniangeek, @starmako26

Emma is sitting with her legs laid out on a sunlounger on the patio, sipping a mug of hot chocolate while she watches the colours of sunrise brighten the dark sky and listens to the morning chorus of birds. She leans her head back against the upright chair, remembering how she thought yesterday was her last sunrise. Parts of Emma still wishes it had. Lily lays sprawled on her lap and nuzzles her head against Emma’s thigh, letting out a soft whine, obviously sensing Emma’s turmoil.

The blonde lowers her hand and gently strokes the white German Shepherd's head. Grateful for her non judgemental presence, especially with what is planned later today.

She had spent all of yesterday with Alistair and Lily, only taking breaks to use the bathroom or for her Mom to bring them drinks and food. And even though Emma trusted Alistair, it took her some time to open up to him.

– – –

Emma sat with her head lowered, unable to make eye contact with her therapist. The clock in the office ticked loudly in the room, making Emma acutely aware of the seconds ticking away.

“Please Emma, tell me how you are feeling.” Alistair says softly, the warmth of his voice slowly eases Emma’s tension.

‘I don’t want to.’ Emma admits quietly in her mind.

“Are you worried about what I will think?”

‘Kind of… More thinking it out loud to you will make it more real.’ Emma shifts uncomfortably on the sofa, causing Lily to move from Alistair’s side and jump up onto the sofa to lay her head on Emma’s lap.

“That is understandable, but there is no judgement here.” Alistair says reassuringly and Emma takes a deep breath. “Tell me what’s been happening since I was last in contact with you. From what I remember you were happy with Diana and doing shows with Robyn’s band?”

Emma nods and tears fill her eyes. She sniffs heavily and feels the tears slowly fall down her cheeks.

“It’s okay Emma. Take your time.”

Emma crumbles forward, placing her head in her hands and her body shakes with her silent cries. Lily sits up and places her head on Emma’s shoulder and nuzzles her nose against Emma’s cheek, trying to comfort her.

This makes Emma cry harder and she allows herself to cry freely and openly, using many tissues that Alistair passes to her. She mourns and grieves about her failed relationships, of her mistakes and her failings. To feel things she should have felt a long time ago and not buried into the depths of her soul.

Though her thoughts jumbled together Alistair had understood her perfectly and his kind eyes reassured her while he listened.

Slowly the heaviness that had been crushing Emma started to lift from within her, like she was able to take a breath and feel life enter her lungs again.

“And what happens now? Will you stay in Midvale forever? ”

This made Emma pause. The thought had crossed her mind.

‘But what would I do? I can’t stay hiding here forever.’

“Why not? You have the money too.”

‘I do love Midvale, but it isn’t my home.’

“And where is your home?”

Lena fills her mind and Emma’s eyes widen in shock.

“I see.” Alistair clears his throat. “I do believe it will be beneficial for you to communicate with Lena. Even if you just remain as friends you need to get some closure.”

Emma lowers her head and nods in understanding. Lily lifts hers and gives Emma’s cheek an affectionate lick. Making Emma nuzzle her face into the loveable dog causing Lily to cover her face with more licks.

“Will you communicate with Lena soon?” Alistair asks with a slight laugh at Lily attacking Emma’s face with kisses.

‘Yes.’ Emma’s mind quietly answers.

“And what about where you would go? Would you head back to National City or move somewhere else?”

A deep pang hits Emma’s gut. She knows staying in Midvale would not be the right choice. But where would she go?

Her mind wanders to the little villages she saw in Europe, how she could see herself settling with-

Emma shakes her head and focuses again on Alistair.

“I think NC would be the obvious option. I mean, I still want to be close to my sisters.

“Would you move back into your old apartment?”

Emma freezes and her breath hitches.

Glowing red eyes fill her vision and Emma feels a weight settle on top of her torso. Recognising it was Lily from the slight panting near her ear.

“Emma?”

‘I’m here.’ Emma manages to call out while her body shakes in fear.

“That’s it, stay in this reality. Nothing is going to harm you here.” Alistair says soothingly. “Well, maybe being licked to death by Lily.”

Emma manages to smile and blinks. The office materialises around her and she breathes in deeply.

“So by your reaction, getting a new apartment would be more beneficial?”

‘Yes.’ Emma reponds and motions for Lily to lie back on her lap, which she immediately does.

“That’s understandable, however I think it would be a good idea to visit the apartment again. Maybe treat it as an exercise for when you feel able to.”

Emma nods, although the thought makes her feel physically sick.

“First we need to take the small steps in helping you gain control of your life. Thinking about moving back to National City is one of them.”

‘And to learn about my powers?’

Alistair smiles warmly at her. “Yes, I was going to recommend that too. Would you want to become a hero?”

Emma shakes her head. ‘That’s Alex and Kara’s domain. Yes I want to learn how to control them, to keep everyone around me safe.’ Emma runs her hands gently through Lily’s fur. ‘But I can never see myself doing what they do, fighting crime, being a hero.’

“What is it you want to do?”

Emma swallows. She is already feeling the itch to get back into the recording studio. Maybe as a producer and songwriter. She remembers how much she enjoyed working with Robyn and creating music.

Alistair nods at her thoughts. “Do you think your voice will come back enough to sing again?”

Emma fiddles with her hands at that question, causing Lily to nuzzle her cold nose into them to get her back to stroking her head.

‘I don’t know. I hope so, but-’ Emma pauses and her eyes become misty with tears.

“Better not to get your hopes up?” Alistair asks and Emma nods sadly.

They continued communicating until they realised it had gone midnight. When Alistair got up to leave he suggested that Lily stay the night with her and bid her farewell.

Emma remained in the office a little while longer, feeling utterly drained from the marathon of a session. But she started to feel something she hadn’t felt yesterday.

Hope.

– – –

After having some time to think about it there were seemingly many roads and options that lay in front of her. But fear seemed to be holding her back. Making her heart ache and stutter at the thought of trying to move forward.

“Just let go.” Lena’s voice whispers softly in her mind.

Emma sighs heavily. Hoping the action would rid her of the nervous energy she is harbouring. Especially with the approaching group session that Alistair wanted to do with everyone. Thankfully Ayla had offered to entertain Mary and Ruby, giving the chance for Emma to be truthful and honest with how she is feeling.

Although Emma thinks it is a terrible idea.

What would everyone’s thoughts be? Would they reject her? Be offended? Figure out she isn’t worth the effort?

Lily lifts her head and whines again. Staring soothingly into Emma’s eyes as if telling her everything will be okay.

Emma lovingly strokes Lily's face, gratefully that she had stayed by Emma’s side all night. She had been surprised when Alex and Kara said they were going to sleep in their beds instead of with her. Explaining that Alistair had said she may need some space. Emma nodded and headed straight for bed. Lily had then trotted behind her and lept onto the bed, flopping heavily on one side while she waited for Emma to join her. Making Emma’s right lip pull up in a small smile. Lily had even kept to her side when Emma had sat on the patio lounger outside, where the pair stayed for a while.

A creak on the bottom step makes Emma turn to look through the window, she sees Robyn entering the back room and downs the rest of her drink.

Emma looks at Lily and points to the floor. Asking her to get down, which Lily does immediately and follows Emma back into the house.

“Good morning.” Robyn says softly while turning the kettle on for a cup of tea. “How are you?”

Emma shrugs and sits on a stool, but she doesn’t make eye contact with her best friend. Instead she focuses on her hands, feeling unable too.

“Em, please look at me.” Robyn’s voice cracks, making Emma’s head lower and Lily starts pawing at her pyjama covered leg. “I’m not angry at you. Really I’m angry at myself-”

Emma’s head snaps up at that and she stares in disbelief at the brunette.

“I noticed you weren’t yourself, that something was wrong, but I got so caught up getting to know Lucy I didn’t do anything about it and I’m sorry.”

Emma deflates and bites her lip. “No, I’m sorry.”

Robyn walks around the island and hugs Emma close. She kisses her best friend’s head. “You know I love you right?”

Emma nods and narrows her eyes slightly at Robyn’s hesitant tone.

“Okay good, cause I think you may want to have a shower before everyone else gets up, you a bit stinky.” Robyn jokefully swats her hand in front of her nose.

Emma rolls her eyes and lightly pushes Robyn away from her. But takes her advice and gets up to use the shower. Lily trots behind her and insists on sitting on the tiled floor, despite Emma signing for her to stay outside the bathroom.

When Emma finishes she heads into her room and finds Robyn laying on her bed with her new guitar.

“Have I told you how much I love this thing?” Robyn asks, Emma makes a mock face and shakes her head dramatically. Even though yes, Robyn has told her countless times how much she loves her new guitar. “Bitch!” Robyn laughs and Emma starts drying herself. “I was going to call her Emma, but now I will rethink.”

Emma voicelessly chuckles and puts on her underwear and a loose pair of jeans. She runs a hand through her wet hair and suddenly has an idea.

“What’s that face for?” Robyn asks with a tilt of her head.

“This may be cliche, but could you shave my hair?”

Robyn’s eyes widen like dinner plates. “All of it?!”

Emma shakes her head. “I am thinking of an undercut, probably up to here?” She draws the line high above her ear.

“Wow, that’s a lot of hair! I mean, you have a lot anyway and could get away with it, but it is a big commitment. To grow it back you’ll prob need to shave your hair or get a pixie cut like me.”

Emma nods and motions for Robyn to stay there. She quickly rushes to the bathroom as Lena goes to enter.

“Oh do you need-” Lena starts to say but Emma gives her a quick smile before ducking in and grabbing the box from a cupboard. She places it under her arm and signs to the raven haired beauty.

“Thank you, all yours.”

“You’re welcome.” Lena whispers as Emma zooms back into her room.

Robyn sits on the edge of the bed, absentmindedly stroking Lily. “Are you really sure about this?”

Emma nods again and puts the hair she doesn’t want to have shaved in a high bun. Next she grabs her towel, wraps it tightly around her shoulders and holds it with one hand. Plopping on a chair she gazes up at Robyn with a small, excited smile.

��Okay.” Robyn breathes out and plugs the clippers in. Emma pulls out the number 1 clipper guard from the box and holds it towards the brunette. “You don’t wanna try maybe a 4?”

Emma shakes her head and places the guard in Robyn’s hand.

Robyn takes a deep breath and clips it in. “Do you wanna record it?”

Emma’s eyes flash brightly and she reaches for her phone. She opens the camera and starts recording.

“Here we go-” Robyn turns it on and it immediately starts buzzing. She quickly turns it off and asks again. “Are you really sure?”

Emma scoffs and nods, she rolls her eyes at the camera, making Robyn chuckle.

“Okay, okay. Don’t try this at home kids.” Robyn turns the clippers back on and starts from the back of Emma’s neck.

Emma shivers from the sensation and is able to see Robyn’s work from the mirror behind her. She grins and takes a deep breath in.

Soon over half of Emma’s hair was gone and was sprawled across her bedroom floor.

“There.” Robyn declares and wipes Emma’s head and neck with the towel to make sure she got everything.

Emma beams at her and reaches up to touch her newly shaven undercut. She absolutely adores the soft feeling and turns her head to look at the result from different angles. Blowing the camera a kiss she stops recording and undoes her still damp bun.

“Oh of course you can’t tell what you’ve done! I seriously have hair envy!” Robyn jokingly complains and Emma aims the blow dryer at her. Robyn squeals and quickly exits the room with her guitar while Emma begins drying her hair.

She plays with different partings even sweeping it over to one side and enjoys the look. However, her hair naturally parts off to the right and she lets it fall that way.

Heading to her wardrobe she grabs a plain black t-shirt and puts on her Supergirl hoodie, knowing she needs all the courage she can get.

Emma plans to wait in posting the video of her head being shaved by Robyn. Maybe after the session ends.

Butterflies start zooming around Emma’s stomach at the thought of what could happen later.

She glances down at her floor and notes the mass amount of cut hair that Lily is currently pawing at. Due to the length Emma is able to easily gather it up and put it in the bin. She sits on the floor against the bed and pats her lap, summoning Lily over to her. They wait a little longer until Emma hears Alistair come back into the house as he is being greeted by her Mom.

Taking a deep breath in, Emma stands and makes her way downstairs with Lily by her side. She can feel her anxiety growing with each step and her hands become increasingly clammy. But before she enters the back room Emma halts and leans against the wall.

“Hey, you okay?” Sam comes up from behind her and Emma tries to breathe. “That’s it, just take nice, deep breaths.” Sam says calmly and motions with her hand for Emma to follow. Lily whines and nuzzles Emma’s legs.

“Emma?” Alistair’s voice calls from the doorway.

‘I’m scared.’

“That is completely understandable.” He says softly and motions for Sam to head into the room. She does so and Alistair focuses back on the blonde. “I’m not going to lie and tell you this is going to be easy or fix everything right away, but it will be a step in the right direction.”

Emma nods but her body still shakes, causing Lily to stand on her hind legs and hug her.

Alistair gives Emma a moment before gently placing his hand on her shoulder. “Are you ready?”

‘No, but let’s do it.’ Emma thinks and helps Lily get back onto her front paws. She lowers her head and they enter together into the back room.

“Morning Sweetheart.” Her Mom greets her by the island and Emma falls into her arms. Eliza rubs her back and her hand instinctively reaches up to her head. “Emma? What have you done?”

Emma takes a step back and lifts her hair up into a bun.

“You… You shaved it?” Eliza asks dumbfounded.

Emma bites the inside of her lip, worried about her Mom’s reaction.

“It suits you!” Eliza smiles brightly at her daughter and Emma sighs in relief.

“Okay everyone, welcome.” Alistair gives everyone a kind smile and motions for Emma to sit on the settee near him.

The sofas have been moved to allow everyone to be in a circle but there is a noticeable gap around Emma. The blonde guesses it is so everyone can see her properly.

Emma sits down and Lily lays by her feet. Emma reaches out for a pain au chocolat from a box of pasties on the coffee table and a plate.

“As I discussed with you all yesterday, today will be about clearing the air.” Alistair starts to explain and Emma shifts uncomfortably, making Lily lift her head upwards. “However, the main goal will be ensuring Emma can move forward and start rebuilding her life.”

Emma lowers her head and continues chewing on the pastry, although it is starting to taste like cardboard.

“I have discussed this with J’onn and to help the flow of this session, I propose that my wife be an interpreter.” Alistair pauses, naturally noticing Alex bristling and opens her mouth to speak.

“She has signed all the necessary paperwork.” J’onn adds, halting whatever the redhead was about to say.

“She had to even before I met Emma. We both support each other and talk openly and honestly. She’s my rock.” Alistair says with a smile, making Emma raise her head up to look at his expression.

A pang of grief hits her stomach and she puts her plate back on the coffee table. Alistair turns to her with a sympathetic expression.

“Of course it is your decision, she will be able to read your mind and emotions.”

‘Like you can?’

“Yes.”

‘Already got two mind readers in here, what’s the harm of one more?’ Emma thinks and reaches for a glass of orange juice. Despite her slight hesitation she understands how beneficial it will be for everyone. Mainly whoever has to interpret her signs won’t be able to be fully in the moment.

Alistair smiles reassuringly at her and sends a message on his phone. He places it back in his pocket and glances at everyone in the room. “I presume all ways of communication are turned off?”

Some get their phones out to check or put them on silent, the others have seemingly already done so and nod.

“Only our communicator with the DEO.” Alex says as she crosses her arms. Emma’s stomach tenses at how hostile Alex is looking right now, she can sense the apprehension rolling off of her sister. Thankfully Sam seems to sense it too as she reaches for Alex’s hand to hold it, making the redhead uncross her arms.

“Which will only happen if it is absolutely necessary.” J’onn adds.

“Good-”

A knocking sounds behind Emma and Alistair gets up to open the back door, revealing a black woman Emma thought looked like Karen, the choir leader. However, instead of grey dreadlocks, Alistair’s wife’s hair colour was velvet black and her eyes were a warm walnut brown.

“Good morning everyone.” She greets the room kindly.

“Please allow me to introduce my wife, Fayola.” Alistair beams and leads his wife to the empty seat next to Emma, the Superfriends nod in greeting. Kara gives her a little wave.

Fayola sits and focuses on Emma, who watches her very closely. “It’s wonderful to meet you Miss Danvers.” Fayola holds out her hand to her.

The blonde hesitantly reaches out and shakes it. ‘Likewise and please call me Emma.’

“Okay Emma and please call me Fay.” The woman leans back into her chair and studies Emma intently. Emma can’t help but be mesmerised by her eyes, like a pull she can’t get out of. Fayola tilts her head and grins. “You are very fascinating.” Her smile grows at Emma’s confusion in her mind. “My abilities go deeper than my husband’s, a different sense if you will.”

Emma nods and bites her lip.

“You have nothing to worry from me, little one.”

Naturally Emma’s eyes flick to Kara’s and her sister gives her a small smile.

“Okay, so let’s start with some ground rules, do any of you have any suggestions?” Alistair asks.

Alex raises her hand and Alistair motions for her to continue. “To not talk over each other.”

“Absolutely.”

“To allow honesty and authenticity.” Nia pipes up, making Alistair nod.

“Yes I agree, this session will be pointless if you aren’t all honest with how you are feeling.” He suddenly feels a surge of nerves from someone in the room and pinpoints it on a certain raven haired woman. “Any other suggestions?”

“Everything that is said stays in this room.” Winn offers as he anxiously taps his glass.

“Very good, this is a safe space and you can talk freely here.”

“To be respectful of others’ opinions and feelings.” Kara says and reaches up to fiddle with her glasses. “Even if we don’t like it.”

“That is key.” Alistair glances around the room. His eyes linger longer on Lena, making her uncharacteristically look away, unable to keep eye contact with him. “If any of you need to take a break at any point, just say so and we will pause.”

Emma feels her chest getting tighter with worry, causing Lily to sit up and place her head on Emma’s lap.

“Emma? Are you okay?” Fay asks and Emma nods, keeping her head lowered while she strokes Lily’s fur.

“Are you sure?” Alistair asks softly and Emma nods again. “Okay, Fay will speak out your words if you don’t want to sign.”

‘I understand.’ Emma thinks and feels slight relief at not needing to sign.

“Would you like to explain what happened the other day?”

Emma takes a deep breath in. ‘I got overwhelmed.’

Fay speaks her words out, her voice conveying exactly how nervous Emma was feeling.

Emma runs a hand through her hair and continues. ‘I know you all love me, I know that. But-’ Emma leans forward and places her head in her hands. Lily immediately jumps on the sofa and rests her head on Emma’s shoulder.

“It’s okay Emma. Take your time.” Alistair says softly. He gazes around the room at the saddened expressions of the group as they watch Emma.

‘But I can’t help but hold onto what has been said to me, the cancelled plans, being a nuisance, a distraction, in the way-”

“That’s not true!” Kara yells passionately but Emma flinches at the sudden noise and curls into herself.

“Kara, please let Emma finish.” Alistair says smoothly. “Continue Emma.”

‘When the attack happened, my whole world fell apart. It was like my life was put on hold. My music. My purpose. I felt like I was paralysed. All my plans, everything was just… gone.’ Emma sits up but still keeps her head lowered. Unable to meet anyone’s gaze. ‘And I get that life goes on. No matter what happens to you, the world keeps on turning. But I felt like I was being left behind. No matter how many messages I sent or tried to get anyones’ attention.’ She leans back against the sofa and looks, noticing the cobwebs in the corners of the high ceiling. Lily moves so her head rests on Emma’s chest and the blonde welcomes the reassuring pressure. ‘When I left, I felt ashamed. A failure. Unloved and uncared for.’ She feels the room ripple in shock and hears a few sniffs of silent tears. ‘Like I wasn’t enough. Like it was all an illusion.’

“And what happened yesterday?”

‘The pain I’ve been carrying, it never went away. I pushed it down so far and I ignored it.’ Tears start rolling down Emma’s cheeks. ‘But when Dia-’ Emma’s head rolls forward as she tries to hide her face and stop herself from crying.

“Emma, it’s okay.” Alistair says soothingly. “Let it out.”

Emma sobs and Lily moves more onto her. Trying to give Emma reassurance and keep her grounded.

Soon Emma is able to take back control and Lily moves back a bit. Allowing Emma to continue.

‘When Diana left, it was like the dam broke and everything just became too much. All my fears, my feelings of not being enough just boiled over and-’

Emma takes a deep breath, knowing what she is about to say will hurt her family and friends.

‘And I didn’t want to be here anymore. I didn’t have the strength to keep living. I’m sorry-’

Emma starts rocking, her face scrunches up and tears stream down her face.

“Alistair please.” She hears her Mom beg and soon Emma feels Lily jump down and her Mom wrapping her arms around her.

‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-’ Emma keeps repeating and clings to her Mom.

“I’m here, I love you baby girl. My sweetheart.” Eliza coos and feels her heart breaking for how far her daughter has fallen. ‘It’s my fault.’

“No, it isn’t.” Fay says compassionately. “We need to make one thing clear. This is none of your fault, granted you could have handled things differently. But, the only ones to blame are the League of Shadows.”

Emma swallows and lifts her head off her Mom’s shoulder. Alistair offers her a tissue and she shakenly takes it to wipe her tears while her Mom rubs her back soothingly.

“Eliza, I know it’s hard, but please go back to your seat.”

Eliza places a kiss on Emma’s head and goes back to sit down in her seat. J’onn takes her hand and passes her a tissue.

“Thank you for being honest with us Emma.” Alistair says softly and Emma fiddles with her hands, feeling as if she is going to throw up.

Lily jumps back onto the sofa and rests her head on Emma’s shoulder. The blonde refuses to meet anyone’s gaze, feeling too shameful at what she has just admitted.

“Now, I know that would have been difficult for you all to hear. But you need to honour Emma in her honesty in telling you how she is feeling.” He gazes around the room and hears the pained thoughts of the Superfriends. The tears gathered in their eyes and sorrowful expressions. “This session will not magically make this better, however it will help lead us in the right direction.”

He glances over at Emma who still keeps her head lowered, her hair acting like a curtain and hiding her face from her loved ones. “Emma? If you feel able, can you lift your head for me?”

‘Do I have too?’ Emma’s mind whispers out.

“No, but it may be more beneficial if you look at those responding to you.”

Emma takes a deep breath and slowly lifts her head up, but her eyes are kept lowered to her hands.

Alistair nods at Fay and looks at the group. “Who would like to go first?”

Kara raises her hand and a tear slips from her eye.

“Go ahead Kara.” Fay says encouragingly and Emma shifts in her seat.

“When I first came to earth I felt like my entire world had ended. I mean, it had, figuratively and physically. I saw Krypton explode-” Kara swallows, her throat constricts and she clears it. She watches as Emma’s bloodshot eyes lift and connect with hers. “When Superman brought me here, I suddenly had this other family that I didn’t ask for. I was terrified and I felt so alone.” Kara sniffs heavily. “But there was a little blonde child who refused to leave me alone. She showed me all her toys and introduced me to every one of her cuddly toys, even allowing me to choose a few for me to cuddle at night.” Despite her tears Kara smiles at her sister. “People say I am the paragon of hope but really, I was only able to hope because you shone your light into my darkest moments. You still do. You show people how they can shine theirs and I hate to think how dark the world would be if your light was no longer shining in the world.”

Emma’s face scrunches up as more tears fill her eyes, truly touched by her sister’s words.

“And I know you say you feel you don’t have the strength to keep going, well, if no one else will, I will hold you up and go on this journey with you.” Kara says passionately and others nod with her.

“You’ve said that before.” Fay speaks out while Emma keeps staring mournfully at her sister.

“We made mistakes.” Alex admits quietly and wipes the tears from her cheeks. “And I can’t promise you that we won’t make them again. But you are not a failure or unloved or uncared for-”

“And I am so sorry we made you feel that way.” Kara sobs out and Ben places a comforting hand on her back.

“Ben?” Alistair asks and Ben’s head whips over to him.

“Me? Okay, erm, it’s pretty similar to Kara really. Although I haven’t been introduced to your cuddly toy collection.”

A few chuckles sound around the room and Emma even manages to pull the corner of her right lip up.

“When I met you, I was in a really dark place and-” Ben takes a deep breath in. “I was in a similar boat as you are now. I’d even written my Nonno a letter, saying goodbye and that I was sorry. But you, you didn’t even know me, yet you showed such beautiful kindness. You supported me and I was able to get through the darkest time of my life. Please let me, let us, support you now to get through your darkest time.”

A few tears roll down Emma’s face and she nods. Lily eagerly licks away the tears and Emma tries to move her head away. She lets out a muffled laugh, causing Lily to jump in surprise and stare at her, tilting her head to the side as she studies Emma.

The blonde strokes the gorgeous dog and kisses her head. She touches her throat having felt a stronger vibration from her vocal chords.

“It’s getting stronger.” Alistair states with a smile and Emma nods, taking a deep breath to calm her stuttering heart. “Progress, step by step.” Alistair reminds Emma and Lily gives her cheek another affectionate lick before settling her head back on Emma’s lap.

Emma breathes in another deep breath and her eyes finally search the room. They settle on Lucy who is actively avoiding her gaze.

“Lucy.” Faye calls to the brunette who sniffs heavily.

Lucy turns back to Emma but keeps her eyes lowered. “I-” She coughs as her words get caught in her throat and runs a hand through her hair.

“Take your time.” Alistair says softly.

Lucy sits up straighter and finally gazes into Emma’s eyes. “Do you remember when I messaged you about my break up with he who must not be named?”

Emma nods, watching the brunette intently.

Lucy fiddles with her hands and swallows deeply. “I… in a moment of grief and feeling like my world had imploded, I had gathered all the medication I could find and I was gonna end it.”

The room stills at Lucy’s confession and Emma feels her heart break for her friend.

Lucy sniffs and tears fill her eyes. “I was so ready to check out, I was so done. I even wrote a note to Lois.” Rubbing her hands on her thighs, Lucy takes a shuddering breath as she begins to cry. “But then there was a knock on my door and I hid the pills and the letter. I opened the door and you were standing there-” Lucy breaks down and Emma goes to get up to comfort her, but both Fay and Alistair motion for her to stay seated. “You were standing there with a mountain of my favourite foods, films and booze. You just came over, I didn’t ask you to but you came anyway.” Lucy wipes under her eyes and takes a shuddering breath. “Do you remember what you told me?”

Emma shakes her head, but does remember how distraught Lucy had been.

“You pulled me into your arms and said that no matter what happens, you were there for me. And I want to say the same to you. That no matter what, I am here for you, you are not alone in this. Not anymore. And I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” Lucy’s voice breaks and more tears roll down her cheeks, causing Robyn to take her hand, giving it a slight squeeze.

One after the other the group tell Emma stories of how she helped them, how the world would be a darker and gloomy place without her. For all of them their eyes misted over and they voiced their genuine thoughts.

It pained Emma greatly that she put them through this but Alistair reassured her that it was a good thing that she was hearing it.

“Thank you Winn.” Alistair says encouragingly after Winn manages to calm his sobbing cries. “And finally, Lena.”

Emma feels her stomach twist and her heart drop, her eyes slowly move to Lena’s mournful gaze and Emma wishes she could run.

“Emma?” Fay asks and Lily sits up, sensing Emma’s distress. “Take deep breaths.”

Emma does so, but her lungs feel like they aren’t drawing enough air in.

“Lena? Do you want to say anything?” Alistair asks kindly and Lena nods. Although Emma can see how uncomfortable Lena looks, despite her blank expression. The vein on her forehead was protruding and despite how Lena is trying to look relaxed, Emma could see Lena’s body was tense.

“I am truly sorry for what I did to you. I know no amount of words will ever repay for what I did and it shouldn’t.”

Emma’s breath shudders and her heart starts to crack and break at the sincere tone in Lena’s voice. How her eyes and face soften.

It starts to become too much for her as Emma remembers the level of hate and annoyance in those eyes from all those months ago.

“And I just want to say, if you ended your life, I wouldn’t be able to go on. Because despite what I’ve said in the past, you are my world and it wasn’t an illusion-”

Before Emma registers what she is doing her body has already jumped to its feet and she races for the door.

She hears her name being called and the sounds of movement as they go to chase after her.

“No, wait.” Alistair orders and Emma gets stopped by Lily on the porch.

The blonde tries to move past Lily but she wasn’t having any of it.

“Emma.” Lena’s voice says softly behind her. “Please, communicate with me. I know this is selfish but I want to make this right, even if you never want to see me again.”

Emma sighs heavily and turns around to face the raven haired beauty.

“Thank you.” Lena says sincerely. “After I left you, the morning before-” Lena falters and inhales deeply. “Before I broke your heart, I was summoned to see Lillian. I went to see what she wanted, knowing I had plenty of time to get back for our… for the date.” Lena crosses her arms and shivers, feeling the chill of the winter air. Emma holds a finger up to ask for a moment and quickly grabs one of her hoodies from a stand by the door. She doesn’t look at the others but immediately hands it to Lena, who looks touched by the gesture. “Thank you.” She puts it on and Emma notices Lena relaxes a bit more.

“There’s no easy way to say this but Lillian and Lex were waiting for me and they told me they heard the Shadows were after you. That you were a prime target due to our relationship and if we broke up, you wouldn’t be harmed.” Lena lets out a dark chuckle. “And I fell for it, I fucking believed them and look what happened. When I saw you on that bridge and realised you were the target, I knew I had been played a fool.” A sob breaks from Lena’s lips. “I wanted to protect you and I did the opposite. I caused this! I am so sorry. I know I broke your heart and I am so, so sorry.”

Lena breaks down and Emma instinctively wraps her arms around her. She closes her eyes at how warm her heart feels hugging Lena. How, despite everything, it feels like home.

“I’m sorry.” Lena repeats over and over as she clings to Emma, her cries being muffled by the top of Emma’s chest.

Emma rubs circles in Lena’s back, wishing she could somehow reassure her. Deciding to try, Emma swallows and opens her mouth.

“Lee.”

Lena immediately stops crying, unsure she really heard her name. Her head snaps up and she stares at Emma with wide eyes. “Did you?”

Emma nods with a sad smile. “Lee.” She whispers again, her voice is cracked and husky but the joy of hearing it sends both women into a hysterical state.

Kara and Sam come rushing out and the others follow.

“Say it again!” Kara demands.

Emma opens her mouth and whispers again. “Kar.”

Alex steps forward beside Kara.

“Al.” Emma croaks and coughs.

“Sweetheart.” Eliza cries out.

“Mom.” Emma answers and finds herself surrounded in a big group hug where everyone is laughing and crying all at once.

– – –

When the group calms down it is decided they will have a break for lunch and then they will continue on with the session.

After eating and feeling utterly drained, Emma curls up on the sofa with Lily and takes a quick nap. Only being woken half an hour later when Fay takes Lily outside for a bit, but Alex quickly takes Lily’s space and holds her.

“I’m so proud of you.” She says softly and Emma snuggles into her sister. The heaviness surrounding her heart and mind was slowly fading and Emma felt she was able to breathe more clearly for the first time in a very long time.

“Love you.” Emma husks out, causing a bit of discomfort in her throat and she coughs. She hears Alex sniff heavily and pokes her head up to see what’s wrong.

“I love you too.” Alex whispers back and rubs the shaved parts of Emma’s hair.

Soon the group are called back to the sofas and Emma has to begrudgingly let go of Alex. She sits up and Lily jumps back onto the sofa by her side.

“Okay everyone, we had a great session this morning and I imagine we are all feeling a bit depleted but it would be wise to keep going.” Alistair encourages the group and they are given the chance to say anything more and they discuss how they can move forward. Together.

“Lena?” Fay asks, catching her attention. “Do you have anything else to add?”

“I do.” Lena shuffles in her seat. “I wanted to apologise to all of you too. I kept the truth of what was going on a secret and I will regret it for the rest of my life.” Lena looks intently over at Emma. “I know we still have a way to go and if you are willing, maybe we could have some sessions together?”

Emma nods slightly. ‘I’ll think about it, I want to have some time to process what you told me. I am angry, sad and frustrated, but I want to give you a chance.’

Lena nods and looks slightly relieved at Emma’s response.

“If I may say, it sounds like a wonderful idea to give you two a chance to hear each other out properly and rebuild.” Alistair says encouragingly before looking at the group. “I would suggest we all meet again soon after we leave Midvale. Maybe in a month’s time?” Alistair asks and everyone gives nods of approval. “Now, I think it may be a good idea to share the steps Emma and I were talking about yesterday. Firstly, where Emma is going to stay.”

‘I cannot go back to the apartment, so I will need to look for a new place.’

“We can look for you, if that helps?” J’onn asks but Emma shakes her head.

‘I would like to look into it myself, get the feel of each apartment and I can stay in a hotel or something in the meantime.’

“Why don’t you stay with us?” Sam asks and Alex immediately nods.

‘Are you sure?’

“Yes of course!” Sam says, almost outraged at the question. “We have a spare room that you can crash in.”

“Although the lady above us in the penthouse is really loud.” Alex says jokingly, causing Emma to tilt her head and Sam to look confused.

“Oh yea! She is extremely vocal, plays a lot of music, sings terribly in the shower and snores like a banshee.”

“I do not!” Lena yells, enraged at the couple’s teasing.

However, this makes Emma frown deeply.

“We moved into a new building and Lena moved into the penthouse above us.” Alex explains and Emma slowly nods in understanding.

‘Why?’ Emma asks in her mind and focuses on Lena.

“Because I kept seeing you everywhere in our apartment.” Lena answers simply.

Emma’s eyes shift to the necklace chain, partly hidden by the hoodie and feels a flutter in her stomach.

“Okay, so we have a plan in place of the living arrangements.” Alistair jots a few notes down.

“And if you ever want to come over to mine, you are more than welcome.” Kara offers and Emma smiles at her in thanks.

“Excellent. Also, I would advise that Emma starts to learn and train with her powers. Even if she doesn’t use them, this will help protect herself and those around her.” Alistair says mainly to J’onn and Alex.

“I couldn’t agree more.”

They start discussing logistics and Emma listens, but her mind starts wandering while stroking Lily’s fur.

Part of her was ready for these next steps, but it felt so daunting at the same time.

She didn’t want to die, not really, but the fear of the unknown still made her want to freeze and curl up into a ball.

However, while Emma gazed around the room at her family and friends, she started to feel the hope inside her start to burn a little brighter.

(Sixty One)

[supercorpkid]

Back to the present.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader, Sam Arias x Goddaughter!Reader, Alex Danvers x Niece!Reader

Word Count: 2350

You fall on your butt with a loud thud, in Lena’s office. Hilariously, like some fate or destiny, Lena and Sam both fall on the couch, while you and Kara fall on the floor. It’s ok, you’re not hurt and thankfully they’re not either.

It takes a minute for any of you to speak again. As your entire life flashes before your eyes, and memories flood your entire system, almost in an overwhelming way. Everyone seems to be experiencing the same thing, you think, being the first one up.

“Momma?” You ask, giving Kara your hand.

“Oh, hey little one.” She accepts your hand and stands up. Lena seems to shake off the feeling when she stands up too.

“Sam? Can you bring me the monthly financial analysis report?” It’s only when Lena speaks that Sam seems to shake off the memories away.

“Of course! And then I have to go pick up Ruby at the airport.” Sam looks at all of you with a smile and a blush on her face. “I’m so excited!”

“Oh! Speaking of which. I have to go to your house meet Jamie and organize the welcome party. And you will ALL be there at 5 sharp, right?” You get agreeable nods from all of them, but you fixate your look on Kara.

“Ay ay, Captain!” Kara salutes, as a joke, and move to Lena’s balcony to fly away. “I wouldn’t miss our family finally being complete in months for anything!”

“Yeah.” Sam says with a soft smile. “Finally.”

“Sam, report?” Lena bobs her head, in question.

“Right, right! I’ll go get them in my office.” Sam leaves the room, and you look back a Lena. She is also smiling softly to herself.

“What?” You come closer, holding her chin so she can look at you. “Why are you smiling like that?”

“Nothing.” Lena raises her gaze at you and lets out a happy sigh. “I just love working with Sam. And I’m happy Ruby is coming. I love how right this feels.”

“Me too.” You kiss Lena’s cheek, then go to her balcony as well. “And I can’t wait to meet the baby.”

When you land in front of Aunt Alex’s house, you don’t even have to knock, and Jamie is already opening the door and yelling at you.

“My God, finally!” She rushes you in. “I don’t know what’s with you Supers and being late. You have superspeed, and still.”

“I’m not late!” You defend yourself, looking around. “I can organize this place in a flash.”

“Then do it!” Jamie can be very bossy when she wants to. You don’t care. You know what’s going on with her even if she doesn’t say it. “The banner looks a little crooked. Can you move that part up?”

“Fine.” You fly a little bit to make it look better.

“Now the other part is too low, can you-?”

“Oh my God, Jamie, chill!” You land back on the floor and go to the fridge, grabbing yourself something to drink and ignoring her loud huff behind you. “I’m sure she won’t notice it is an inch lower.”

“It’s just-” Jamie starts. And you know this. You know what she’ll say next. You know what she is thinking and everything that can possibly make it out of her mouth. You know her like the palm of your hand, maybe even better. “It has to be perfect.”

You look at the banner she did. ‘Welcome home Ruby and Davey’. You let out a smile, and you squeeze her shoulder gently, like her mom usually does, to calm her down.

“Ruby is going to love it. And Davey is a teeny tiny baby who can’t read. So you’re safe.”

“You don’t get it.” Jamie huffs. Except you do. But you let her vent anyway. “When mom and Sam got married, I was six, and Ruby was in college already. We never really had that much in common, because the age difference-”

“Was absurd.” You finish her sentence, knowing exactly what she was about to say.

“But now I’m old enough. And Davey can really-”

“Bring us closer! And I can have the sister I’ve always wanted!” You finish again.

Jamie rolls her eyes at you, upset. “You’re a pain.”

“Listen, dipshit. One, you have the sister you’ve always wanted. Exhibit A.” You point at yourself. “And two, Ruby loves you. You know it’s true. She talks about you like you’re the most incredible person in the universe, which is far from true, so it can only mean she loves you.”

You get a punch in the arm for that. But you ignore it, obviously.

“Besides, I bet Davey’s head smells really nice, so I’ll be hogging him at all times.”

“No you won’t. I will! I’m his aunt!” Jamie yells and laugh. “Oh, wow. I’m an aunt.”

“So, anyways. Now that we’re done with this.” You move to your backpack. “Can we work on our art project?”

“Oh, sure! I have some ideas.” You and Jamie move to the table and start doing the homework, instead. “Another A for the Danvers cousin, for sure.”

“Eh, it’s not even exciting anymore.” You look at your phone ringing close-by. “Julie and Liv want to hang out. I’m gonna text them we’re busy.”

“Yeah, can you imagine them getting here and seeing Brainy in all his green glory?” Jamie wheezes out a laughter and you join.

“Or Supergirl landing in the backyard?” You roll your eyes. “No, thanks.”

When Sam finally arrives with Ruby and Davey, everyone is already in their living room. Kara brought the cake without any major accidents. It has a little dent in the corner, that she blamed it on the landing, but you’re sure it was her little finger for a small taste. Alex picked up some more food and rushed there, afraid to miss it. Brainy and Nia showed up with donuts -you can’t wait to dive in in those-, and J’onn came alone because he left M’gann patrolling the city.

“Surprise!” You all whisper-yell when they open the door.

“Aw, thanks guys.” Ruby says, baby in arms, smile on her face. “Thanks for not yelling too. He just fell asleep on the car ride here.”

“Can we see him?” Jamie whispers, a little shy.

“Of course, Aunt Jamie. Why don’t you come here and pick him up?” Ruby says with a smile. You smile too. She hasn’t changed one bit, still looking a lot like Sam. But you’re still very surprised to see her as a 30-something woman.

“Really?” Jamie comes closer. Ruby kisses Jamie’s head first, then slowly puts Davey in her arms.

“Be careful, honey.” Alex’s heart is beating so fast in her chest, as she tries to help them with the transition.

“Don’t worry, Alex.” Ruby says, reassuring. “She got him.”

“Look moms, I’m holding my nephew!” Jamie smiles from ear to ear, looking at Sam and Alex like she can just fly away in excitement.

“Yes, I see that, sweetie.” Sam comes closer to kiss Jamie’s head as well. She plays with Davey for a second, before putting her hands behind Jamie’s back as she points to the living room. “Why don’t you go sit on the couch, baby?”

Jamie agrees, making her way to the couch with you in her tail. You don’t even care about the rest of the party. You even forget the donuts, before Sam sneaks one in your hand and gives you a wink.

“Before they’re all gone.”

“Thanks godmother.” You smile excited, shoving an entire donut on your mouth, so you can keep slowly caressing baby Davey with a finger. “He is so tiny and cute.”

It’s not long before Ruby picks him up to feed him, and your moms convince you that it’s time for you all to leave. Actually, they don’t quite convince you as much as they make you, claiming Ruby and Davey have to rest and that you have school first thing in the morning.

“Where is she?” You hear Kara’s voice from downstair, in the morning. You’re almost ready for school, but you got a little late because Jamie texted a picture of baby Davey and you were drooling over his cuteness.

“She never needs us to wake her up.” Lena completes Kara’s concern, but you rush downstairs.

“I’m up, I’m up.” You kiss them both good morning. “Jamie sent me a picture of her nephew and I fell a little behind.” You look at your watch. “But I’m not late, anyways.”

“Always the first to arrive and the last to leave.” Kara smiles, peaking your cheeks. “Never seen someone love school so much.”

“Oh, well. I’m a huge nerd. Blame it on mom.” You kiss Lena’s forehead, so she knows you’re joking.

“Nope, no blaming on the Luthor, ok?” Lena jokes and you smile.

“By the way, is today the day when I can finally tell everyone in the school that I’m a Luthor?”

“NO!” Kara and Lena yell at the same time. You furrow your brows and roll your eyes.

“Eleven years of school I’m still just Danvers. I. Don’t. Get. It.” You punctuate your words with eye rolls. “Jamie gets to use Olsen-Danvers. Why don’t I get to use Luthor-Danvers?”

“Trust us, it’s for the best.” Kara kisses your cheek. “Just be a Danvers out there. Is that so bad?”

“No, of course not. I just-”

“Baby, we all know you’re a Luthor. You don’t have to yell at everyone in National City. You know how much they love Luthors in this universe.”

“Well, I don’t know about them. But I love THIS Luthor very much.” You hug Lena, kissing her head one more time. “And I don’t care what they think, because I’m very proud to be related to you.”

“Baby, I love you and I really appreciate what you’re saying. That doesn’t change things, ok? No one in school should know you’re a Luthor. That’s the rule.”

“Fine, fine.” You let go of her. “Come over here, Danvers.” You hug Kara too, who lets out a happy sigh when in your arms. “I love your name as well.”

“Good.” She kisses your forehead. “I love you, little one.”

“Ok.” You get down from the stool, making your way to the front door. “Bus is almost here. I love you two very much. See you out there, Supergirl.”

“Not if I see you first.” Kara answers with a smile.

“See you later at L Corp, mom.”

“Have a great day, babygirl!” You hear Lena saying as you close the door. Oh, you will. You always have a good day at school. You get on the bus as soon as it stops, close to your house.

“Hey Marshall! Hey Ted.” You walk past them, waving hello. “How’s your sister, Barney?”

“Doing better.” He answers.

“Great!” You make your way to your seat waving hello to everyone on the bus. “Hey! How’s it going?”

“Hey Jules.”

“Honestly, you sound like a politician saying hello to everybody. Why don’t you just run for student body president already?” Julie says when you sit next to her.

“Nah, too much trouble. I already have some better extracurricular activities.” You look behind yourself with a smile. “Hey, Miss Rose.” You raise an eyebrow at her.

“Miss Danvers.” Maya answers quietly, keeping her eyes glued to her book.

You get a punch on the arm from Julie. “Give up.” You know she’s talking about Maya, and you smile unbothered, because how can you give up on the nicest, smartest, kindest, prettiest person you’ve ever met?

“Will never.”

As soon as you’re out of the bus you meet Jamie and Liv, getting out of their bus as well. The four of you get together, making your way inside the school.

“Hello! Can I see both Danvers in my office?” The principal says as soon as you step in. God, that woman loves you so much, she keeps calling you in her office. “Jamie, we need you to win the volleyball game this week. We’re this close to finally beating Central High School.”

“Yeah, I got it Mrs. Goodwin. Don’t worry.”

“And you-” She looks back to you with pleading eyes. “Please consider entering the debate team again. We really need you out there.”

“Sorry Mrs. Goodwin. My extracurricular activities don’t leave any time for that. Thanks for checking in again, though.” You hear the school bell. “Oh, that’s our cue.”

You make your way out of her office with Jamie right behind you.

“Our best students.” You hear the principal saying and you smile to yourself. Nothing new here.

When school is over, you say goodbye to your friends and make your way to L Corp. No one knows which extracurricular activities you take. They can’t know you have your own lab at L Corp because you’re a Luthor. And also they can’t know you’re Superkid, so those are the secrets you keep. Which is basically the biggest chunk of your life.

When you walk in your lab, some light flashes blue and you see a projection of yourself. You furrow your brows. What the fuck, you don’t remember doing that.

“Hi. I am you from the past. And we need to talk.”

“Show-off.” You roll your eyes at the hologram. Just a video would’ve been fine.

“If you’re back here, this means your trip to the past was a success.” Hologram-you say, and you frown harder. Trip to the past? “It’s quite possible you don’t remember any of it.”

Are you always so annoyingly sure of everything?

“So I’m here to tell you about my life. One that you might have unconsciously changed. Or maybe consciously, I don’t know what was going on in your mind. Or, also, those three moms you took with you might have done things and changed everything.” Hologram-you raises a fist, and you see the bracelet you’ve been wearing since yesterday, for some reason. You also noticed Kara, Lena and Sam had one too. Three moms. It checks out. “It’s time to talk about your life. Your real life.”

[oreoambitions]

46 for agentreign please

Anon I'm sorry this took me a thousand years, but here you go. This gets wildly NSFW after the cut. Enjoy!

/// The first time it happens, Alex figures it's a fluke.

There are, after all, extenuating circumstances. She's not sure how many glasses of wine she's had because every time she turns around Sam has topped her off again, and maybe she should stop indulging but the wine is good and the company is better and this is the first day off off she's had for so long that it's hard not to let go a little. Kara's been keeping the showtunes coming all afternoon, a little louder than her old bluetooth speaker can really handle but it doesn't matter because Spotify is really just an excuse for Kara and Sam to sing at the top of their lungs. Alex is not participating, but she is appreciating. Appreciating because it's nice to see her sister laugh and smile like maybe things are getting better and maybe things are going to be okay. And also appreciating because, well, Sam. It's hard not to appreciate anything and everything Sam.

The activity of the afternoon is ostensibly the production of baked goods for a fundraiser related to Ruby's soccer team. Alex says 'ostensibly' because the reality is that it's been more than three hours and they haven't gotten the first batch of cookies into the oven yet. There's flour all over the floor, and she's pretty sure Kara got butter stuck to ceiling before Sam took the mixer away, but sometimes that's just the cost of a slightly raucous afternoon well spent, isn't it? And they'll have it all done in time anyway. In fact, Sam is just now finishing up the first batch of cookie dough in the confiscated kitchen aid when Alex, perhaps inebriated or perhaps just feeling emboldened by the domestic comfort of the whole affair, lunges for the beater.

This, it turns out, is either a mistake or the best decision she's ever made in her life. Her hand does contact the beater. She does come within a few seconds of pure raw cookie dough bliss. But Sam is faster, and in a flash Alex finds herself pinned between the counter and Sam's hips, one wrist wrapped up in Sam's fingers, the beater now soundly out of reach in Sam's other hand.

"Mine," Sam growls, but her eyes have dropped to Alex's mouth and for one disorienting moment Alex thinks she might be about to kiss her, thinks maybe the word 'mine' has nothing to do with the beater at all, that maybe they've crossed into some alternate dimension where there's a future for her and Sam that doesn't involve a lot of politely smiling and politely never mentioning one another's romantic entanglements or the absence thereof.

And the thing is, Alex thinks to herself, contemplating the heat of Sam's gaze and the fact that she literally cannot move beneath Sam's hips, this is... attractive. This is very attractive, in an immediate and throbbing sort of way that would be frankly embarrassing approximately half a glass of wine earlier in the afternoon. But that can't be right, because Alex doesn't like to be pushed around. Alex is the one who does the pushing. Isn't she? Sam's grip tightens around her wrist and Alex's lips part of their own accord and-

"Oh for heaven's sake," Kara says, snatching the beater out of Sam's hand. "It's mine, because you two are both being ridiculous." She rolls her eyes. "I hate being the only adult in the room."

It was a fluke. That's what Alex thinks to herself later that night when she wakes with a start from a just-dozing-off dream featuring the immovable nature of Sam's hips. They were drinking and it was a long afternoon and everyone was a little wound up and a little giddy and Alex has been single for a long time. That's it. That's all it was. That's all it has to be.

///

It's harder to write it off as a fluke the second time, but she manages.

James is in town and so it's game night. Not their monthly game night as scheduled, but an extra at-the-last-second game night, and Alex is on call. Which is fine. She can count on her fingers the number of times she's had to handle something in the middle of the night while on call for the DEO, and she's not particularly worried. But it's a problem because she can't be drinking, which means she's sober when Sam corners her in the kitchen.

It's been a long night. Not in a bad way. Just in the sense that things have been a little more risque than usual, what with Nia falling over herself trying to make it clear to Brainy that she'd like to sleep with him without actually making it clear, and Lena shooting those long smoldering looks at a characteristically oblivious Kara, and then there's Sam. Alex can't stop looking at Sam in that shirt where it sits a little too tight across the shoulders, can't stop tracing the line of that necklace to the place where it disappears just below her collar, can't stop following the meaningless movement of her fingers as she absently fiddles with a beer that wouldn't have an effect on her even if she drank the whole case. She wonders idly if it's for the aesthetic or if Sam just likes the taste of a craft IPA.

The trouble is that every time Alex catches herself looking at Sam, she also catches Sam looking at her. And so, upon dragging her eyes up once more from Sam's fingers to find Sam staring back at her, eyes dark and expression unreadable, Alex decides it's time for a drink after all. One beer won't hurt, even if the world decides to consider coming to an abrupt conclusion in the next hour or so and it turns out to be her responsibility. It's just that her mouth is suddenly dry, and the room is suddenly too loud, and she needs something to roll between her fingers the way Sam is rolling that IPA back and forth and back and forth and- Yeah. Just one beer will be fine.

She slips into the kitchen while Nia is yelling about how they should all do a TikTok together. It's quieter here, and a cool breeze through the window over the sink raises goosebumps across her arms. She pops the fridge open, pulls a beer at random, leans up against the counter. Maybe she doesn't want a drink after all. Maybe she just needs a minute.

"Aren't you on call, Ms. Danvers?"

Sam. Alex pouts. "What are you, the party police?"

Sam steps up close, takes the beer from Alex without so much as looking at it. "Aren't you the alien invader police?"

That's a dumb line and it doesn't remotely reflect Alex's actual job description, but she laughs anyway. "It's just one beer. Like 4%. I can handle it."

"I know," Sam murmurs.

Alex thinks she's forgotten how to breathe. Sam's eyes are on her mouth and those hips are pressing into her again and when Sam slips one arm around her waist and one hand into her hair a sound comes out of her that might have been a whimper. There's an inevitability to the way Sam leans in, to the way Alex's lips part as Sam tilts her head back with a firm tug. There's a moment of hesitation, a lingering, an opportunity to say no. Instead, Alex whispers, "Please."

Sam obliges. She kisses her slow, languid almost, holds her firm against the counter as she licks into her mouth and Alex is thinking that maybe she's going to come right here just letting Sam kiss her like this when Sam presses a thigh between her legs and she gasps, grinds down hard without meaning to.

Sam chuckles into her mouth, drags one hand around to her throat, traces feather light kisses along her jaw, tugs on her earlobe with her teeth. "Good girl," she whispers.

Alex isn't sure if it's the heat of Sam's breath, or the praise, or the way she's been casually immobilized, but she shudders, and Sam chuckles again, lips against her ear, and that only makes it worse.

"Fuck," Sam says. "If I had my strap with me I'd rail you right here."

Alex is pretty sure that would kill her. She's pretty sure just the thought of it is going to kill her. Just the pad of Sam's thumb dragging across her throat as she kisses her again, just the roll of those hips, that thigh pressing hard into her, that deep ache coiling tighter as Sam pulls back just far enough to meet her eyes and-

"Hey, Nia wants- Oh!" Lena stops short just inside the kitchen door. "I'll just." She plucks a bottle of wine from the counter. "Take this and tell her that you've uhm. That you're busy."

"We'll be right there," Sam says. She straightens Alex's shirt with a tug and a smirk. "Wouldn't want to miss the TikTok dance."

"Nope," Alex chokes out. "Wouldn't want to miss that."

It's a fluke. Alex takes a long shower when she gets home, and she takes care of the lingering ache that's now outlived not one but two TikTok dances, and she thinks about texting Sam. She falls asleep with her phone in her hand and if she has dreams about a tall, handsome, strong woman railing her against a kitchen counter, well. That happens sometimes. Could happen to anyone. Doesn't mean anything except that Alex has been single for probably too long . She downloads Hinge in the morning and considers explicitly mentioning in her bio that she's the one who wears the strap.

///

The Hinge profile lasts about three days. Alex scrolls through a ridiculous number of women, all of whom are... fine, before she comes to the conclusion that the problem is that none of them are Sam. She's sitting on this stupid app pedaling her stupid profile and all she wants is the woman whose attention prompted her to download a dating app in the first place. And she can't want Sam because it would never work. They're fundamentally incompatible. This bedroom ain't big enough for two tops. It's not going to happen.

But the words if I had my strap with me I'd rail you right here are as stuck in Alex's head as that Lady Gaga song Brainy won't stop playing over the speakers at the DEO. She can't stop thinking about it. Picturing it, even. Dreaming about it when her mind should be anywhere else, on anything else. And she'd just avoid Sam, just look the other way until her hormones sort themselves out, except that Sam is virtually impossible to avoid.

Kara doesn't make it any easier when she calls on Friday night to ask her about a movie night at Sam's apartment.

"Ruby's on a school trip, so it'll be just the four of us," Kara says over the phone. "I'll bring snacks, and we can order whatever you want for dinner. Please? Lena's never seen Star Wars; we have to do something."

Alex doesn't know how to say no. No, I won't come to what feels suspiciously like a double date movie night at Sam's apartment, because Sam's strap is at Sam's apartment, and I'm not sure that she isn't going to try to fuck me on the bathroom floor, and furthermore, I'm not sure that I don't want her to. Instead she says, "Any Star Wars? That's a crime. Which movie are we starting with?"

It's probably a safe bet anyway. Kara and Lena will be there the whole time; Alex and Sam will never be alone. All Alex has to do is make sure that she leaves when everyone else does and they can avoid the awkwardness altogether, and no that is definitely not anticipation she's feeling in the pit of her stomach, and she certainly does not spend an extra half an hour in bed on Saturday morning keeping herself busy with the thought of offering to stay and help clean up, of finding herself pinned against the refrigerator door while Sam takes her from behind. That absolutely does not happen because that would be ridiculous, undignified, untoplike behavior.

Alex is certainly feeling ridiculous, undignified, and untoplike standing outside Sam's door that evening, anxiously smoothing out her shirt with one hand, a case of that IPA from game night in the other. She's arrived a carefully calculated fifteen minutes late just to be absolutely sure Kara and Lena will get here first, but she didn't spot Kara's car outside, and so she isn't particularly surprised when Sam opens the door with a warm smile and welcomes her into an empty apartment.

"Kara and Lena?" she asks as Sam takes the proffered beer.

"Lena got held up at the office," Sam replies, already disappearing into the kitchen. "They're running late. An hour or so. Told them we'd wait. Do you prefer an IPA or a lager? I don't have any stouts in the fridge right now. Might be a decent sour in here somewhere."

Alex lingers in the entryway, that not-anticipation feeling thrumming through her veins. She could follow Sam to the kitchen. Kitchens do seem to be their Thing. But Sam returns with two lagers, her question unanswered, and nods her head towards the living room.

Well, now they're alone together after all and Alex is feeling awkward. She settles onto one end of the couch and tries not to read into it when Sam deposits the lagers on the coffee table and settles in next to her, legs folded under her, almost too close, instead of occupying the perfectly good cushion on the other end.

"Sam," Alex tries. They should talk about this. "We should talk about this."

"Hmm." A hint of a smirk flickers across soft lips before Sam schools her expression. "Talk about what, exactly?"

If Alex had bothered to rehearse this conversation in her mind, she still wouldn't have imagined it going this way. Her eyes drop to Sam's mouth and then she struggles to look elsewhere. The records on the shelf under the window. The blank television screen.

"I-" she starts, but the words don't want to come out. The lager on the coffee table. She doesn't reach for it. "I can't stop thinking about game night," she forces out, and then she looks back up at Sam to gauge her reaction.

Sam is smirking openly now, a hint of laughter in her eyes. She reaches out to tangle long fingers in the hair at Alex's nape, the same grip she used to pull her into a kiss just last week, and Alex's arousal is embarrassingly immediate. "Really?" Sam asks. "Game night, huh? You want to know what I can't stop thinking about?"

It's Alex's gaze that drops first, to Sam's mouth again, and this time she can't look away. "What?"

"Tonight," Sam replies, close enough that Alex's eyes flutter closed, close enough that she can almost feel Sam's answer on her lips. There's probably a coy response for this somewhere in the lesbian handbook but Alex is reaching and coming up empty. She presses a soft kiss to Sam's mouth instead and feels that anticipation - there's no denying now that it's anticipation - thrum again when Sam's tongue immediately presses into her, hot and demanding.

"What's so special about tonight," Alex mumbles as Sam kisses along her jaw to her neck.

"Mmm." Sam nips hard against Alex's pulse point, smiles into her skin when she gasps. "Well, that depends."

"On what?"

"Take your shirt off."

Alex hesitates. That isn't remotely the answer to her question, but now Sam is sucking on her neck and her capacity for rational thought is rapidly diminishing. She fumbles with the first shirt button, fingers trembling, and then the second. Three undone is enough for Sam to pull the offending garment over her head. The sports bra follows, and then Sam is tugging on Alex's hips to reposition her so that she's lying back on the couch, and Alex suddenly understands what everyone finds so attractive about kryptonians, because it's effortless the way Sam moves her. She has about a half second to be transfixed by the abs peeking out from under Sam's own blouse before Sam is kissing down her collarbone and over her breast, chuckling when Alex's hips jerk underneath her.

"You know," Sam says, "I was expecting more of a fight out of Alex But-I'm-A-Top Danvers."

Alex opens her mouth to let out a retort but Sam's tongue is working a circle around her nipple and rational thought is once again threatening to fail. "Is that what you want?" She manages, struggling to sit up. "You want a fight?"

"No." Sam pushes her back again, pins her arms over her head with one hand, brushes the fingers of the other across her ribs, frowns. "No, I like you better like this."

Alex flushes and has to remind herself not to squirm, not to look away as Sam studies her in silence, drops kisses across her shoulders, traces the lines of her hip and the inside of her thigh. And then Sam reaches under the couch for a box, the implications of which are momentarily as immobilizing as the hand still holding Alex's wrists down, because Sam planned for this, planned far enough in advance to stash supplies where they might be convenient.

Alex swallows hard when Sam's pants exit the scenario, and Sam's eyes flicker over her face as she opens the box.

"How do you feel about being strapped on the couch?" she asks.

It's such a blunt question that Alex flushes again. "Uhm. Okay?"

Sam stops with her harness halfway out. "Just okay? I'm gonna need a clear yes or-"

"Yes. God. Yes please," Alex says, flushing an even darker shade. She's going to let... this... happen, but she's not going to beg. Christ. Consent granted; please let's move on before things get awkward. Sam chuckles a little at her discomfort and presses a kiss to her brow.

"Okay. But if you want me to stop you just say the word."

Alex nods, not trusting herself to speak, eyeing Sam's fingers where they're tightening the harness. And then all at once she blurts out, "Kara and Lena could be here at any moment," which she hadn't realized might be a concern until it came out of her mouth but now she can't stop thinking about it, and how embarrassing that would be, and Kara can see through walls for heaven's sake, and-

Sam chuckles. "Baby," she says, sliding herself between Alex's legs, "You're not going to last long enough to be worried about that."

Sam is embarrassingly, excruciatingly not wrong. By the time the strap is working into her Alex is pretty sure she's wound tighter than she's ever been, and she'd crack some kind of joke about how it's clearly been too long since she's had anyone inside of her but this is really not the time. Sam is pressing inexorably deeper and it's all she can do to hold her breath because otherwise she's going to come altogether undone before they've even gotten started.

Sam gives her a moment when she's all inside, waits for Alex to exhale, waits for her nod before she starts to rock her hips, and the drag of the strap is so intense that Alex loses her breath and her self control in the same instant with a groan that only deepens Sam's smirk. Alex is kind of wishing Sam would give her back the use of her hands, but that's not in the cards. She squirms instead, hips bucking of their own accord, head thrown back hard against the cushion of the couch.

"Thought about this every night," Sam murmurs, and Alex thinks she'll say since game night but she says, "Since the day I met you," which is almost as mindblowing as the pleasure somehow, incredibly, continuing to build between Alex's hips. "Thought about how good you'd be under me."

Alex shivers at that and then comes, bucking hard into Sam to take as much of the strap as she can, half aware of Sam whispering something in her ear that might have been what a good girl you are if Alex had been cognizant enough to comprehend it. She comes back down to soft kisses across her face, and when Sam lets go of her wrists she wraps her arms around her and tries to remember how to breathe, how to pull all the pieces of herself back together, how to be a competent and capable, dignified and toplike partner.

Alex runs a hand absently through Sam's hair and hums. "Do you want me to return the favor?" she asks. She doesn't have a strap with her but, well, it's not like that was ever the best trick up her sleeve anyway. She opens her mouth to make a quip about how a good top is always prepared but Sam reaches out and casually tips an untouched lager onto her discarded shirt.

Alex splutters.

"Too late," Sam says brightly. "You'll have to ask me after dinner. Lena and Kara are here."

"Lena and Kara are what-"

And there's the knock at the door. The door not ten paces from where Alex is lying in a state of naked disarray on the couch where they are supposed to be watching Star Wars. There is a moment of absolute stillness before Alex begins to scramble for her clothes.

"Bedroom is the second door on the left," Sam says, sneaking in a last kiss while Alex reaches for the underpants peeking out from under the coffee table. "Clean shirts in closet. Do pick something nice; I've been dying to see you in my clothes."

Alex scurries down the hall in her socks quietly cursing and thanking every star in the sky. It's going to be a long night. If she's lucky.

[thevoidfishsminstrel]

Lena was just finishing writing up her daily plan when Jess’ voice crackled over the intercom.

“Miss Luthor, the reporter from CatCo is here.”

Lena took a deep breath, letting her professional mask slip into place, ready to start the day. “You can let them in, Jess.”

She stood as the door to her office opened and a woman with soft blonde curls and a yellow sundress entered. She smiled brightly at Lena despite the slight nervousness behind it. Lena found her own polite smile reflecting a little of Kara’s sunshine back as she approached.

“Kara Danvers, CatCo magazine.” She moved her hand as if about to offer a handshake and Lena’s heart rate ticked up a little with dread, but Kara seemed to change the course of her movement and ended up fiddling with her glasses instead.

“Lena Luthor,” she introduced herself and getured for Kara to sit at one of the chairs across from her desk.

Kara pulled a notebook and pen from her bag. “So, Miss Luthor, mind if I ask you some questions about your latest tech?”

Kara was kind and sweet and seemed to be genuinely interested in her work, not just looking for some new angle to paint Lena as the next terrible Luthor. She listened and asked questions off of what Lena had been saying rather than just reading the ones Lena could see written in her notebook. She seemed to light up a little more every time Lena let her professional mask slip a fraction and showed some of the enthusiasm she normally tried to keep bottled for when she was alone in her lab. Kara Danvers had an uncanny way of drawing out her unmasked self until she was rambling about her work and talking with excited hand gestures that Lillian always chided her for but she could never quite suppress.

The interview was over before she knew and Jess was popping her head into the office with barely concealed surprise at the fact that Lena had almost let it run over to escort Kara out again.

But she had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last time she saw Kara Danvers.

———

Kara’s article came out a week later and Lena filled her office with flowers in thanks. Kara called her within an hour.

They arranged to go to brunch together which turned into another brunch the next week, and then a lunch date, and then trying out a new cafe, and then more interviews. Lena found herself adding calls after work with Kara into her routine and messaging Sam about how often was appropriate to text a new friend. (Sam was no help but Lena refused to give in to the urge to google it.)

Kara saved her as Supergirl and it wasn’t long before she accidentally revealed her identity and Lena sheepishly told her she already knew.

It was a few weeks before Kara visited her office without the pretence of an interview.

Lena was reading through a contract when there was a knock at her office door and Kara walked in with a paper bag.

“Miss Danvers! Miss Danvers!”

Kara looked back down the hallway with a frown as Jess hissed her name, rushing into the office after her.

Jess turned to Lena apologetically. “I’m so sorry Miss Luthor, I was only gone for a minute to get a coffee and she must have slipped in.”

Kara looked to Lena in slight panic. “Oh no am I interrupting?”

Lena capped her pen and stood with a placating smile. “It’s quite alright, Kara. I can take a short break.”

Kara couldn’t hide the hopeful way her eyes lit up but she still asked, “are you sure?”

Lena tried to counter the way her heart strained slightly as she glanced at her timed schedule with a bright smile, ignoring Jess’ mildly concerned look. “Of course.”

Kara stayed and ate amazing donuts with her while they talked and laughed for over an hour. The reminder of work was constantly in her mind but she pushed it aside to prolong the wonderful experience of sharing donuts with Kara Danvers. Until Jess informed her she had her next meeting and Kara left and the stress of her messed up schedule came crashing back down, piling up as the day went on and each item on her list for the day got pushed back or rearranged.

It was nearing 10pm when Kara found her at her desk with her head in her hands, desperately trying to ignore her headache and not let her emotions overwhelm her.

“Lena?” Supergirl landed softly on her balcony, stepping gently into her office and crouching down beside her. “Lena is everything okay?”

Lena just screwed her eyes shut tighter, unable to do anything else.

“Lena, can you take some deep breaths for me?” Kara carefully opened her desk drawer and took out the noise cancelling headphones as she softly counted breaths. She gently placed them over Lena’s ears and the incessant humming of her computer and the lights and the wind faded.

Lena slowly removed her hands from her head and blinked, still feeling sluggish.

“Will you let me take you home?”

She nodded, holding out her arms and letting Kara scoop her up into a surprisingly strong and calming grip. She let her head rest in the crook of Kara’s neck and just breathed as they flew back to her penthouse.

Lena found herself curled up on her couch, wrapped in a blanket, as she began to come back to herself.

Kara wandered over from the kitchen, gently setting two mugs of tea on the coffee table and sitting down on the other end of the couch. Lena removed the headphones and murmured a quiet ‘thank you’ as she picked up her mug.

She could tell Kara was looking at her with worry. “Did I make things hard by turning up at your office today?”

Lena stared down at her mug, heart clenching. “It’s not that I didn’t want to see you! Or that I didn’t really enjoy the donuts or anything…”

Kara sighed, shuffling a little closer. “Lena, it’s okay. I want to respect your boundaries but you have to let me know what they are so that I can.”

Lena swirled her tea in the mug as she figured out what she wanted to say. “I don’t like it when my plans change. I really like seeing you, but I like to know when. It makes me stressed to have to rearrange my plans when I’ve got a sequence of how to do them already in my head.”

“Okay.” Kara smiled softly. “Thank you for letting me know.”

———

They scheduled in visits after that and Lena found herself smiling at her desk, looking forward to each and every one of them, thinking about all the things she had to tell Kara that day.

Their lunches increased to at least twice a week and movie nights became a regular fixture too. Some evenings Kara would come over and they would just sit in comfortable silence, doing their own things, happy to be in each others’ presence.

Lena found her smiles growing and her heart fluttering around Kara. Kara could hear her affect if her shy smiles each time it happened were anything to go by.

Kara was the only other person allowed in Lena’s private lab. While Lena loved her visits down to R&D, she valued the organisation and quiet of her personal lab. Kara understood that and happily watched her work and listened to her excited explanations without interrupting.

Kara sat quietly, doodling in her notebook while Lena revised the code of one of her projects. She looked up when Lena grinned, tapping excitedly on the desk in front of the computer.

“Is the code working?” Kara stood from her seat to peer at the screen as it ran through a simulation of the code.

“Potentially.”

The program ended, perfectly completing its function, and Lena squealed in delight. She turned to Kara and threw her arms around her, basking in the deep pressure of Kara’s tight grip as she lifted her off the ground and spun her round.

“It worked!”

Kara put her down again, beaming at her. “You’re amazing, Lena.”

Lena’s heart skipped a beat and Kara’s eyes flicked down momentarily as if to track the noise, flicking back up with a blush just as quick.

Lena bit her lip, a light flush dusting her own cheeks. “Thank you.”

Kara’s eyes dipped down again, seeming to get stuck at her lips. Her voice was soft when she spoke. “Can I kiss you?”

Lena’s heart stopped all together as the air rushed from her lungs. “Yes.”

And for a moment the rest of the world seemed to melt away.

[kassies-take]

She’s Home

Summary: Reader and Lena haven’t seen each other in almost a month due to different work schedules.

Warning: Fluff

A/n: Lena Luthor deserves this

Lena Luthor x Reader, Baby Danvers

Word Count: 1350

“I miss Lena,” you melted on Kara’s couch. Your back parallel to the floor.

Alex kicked your hip and you fell into the floor. “She left for Germany two weeks ago, she’s coming back today.”

“I know but I haven’t seen her in a month. I was in Japan. Andrea insisted I should be the photographer to cover the events in Akihabara with Obsidian North’s launch there. And when I came back Lena was leaving.” You sat up messing with the Uno cards in your hands.

“Lena tells me you FaceTime her everyday,” Sam placed down a blue skip.

Sam transferred back to National City to help Lena at L-Corp, with the addition of getting tea from the rest of Superfriends. Ruby didn’t mind the move. She loved being with a family that loved her and welcomed her and her mom, Metropolis was really only her and Sam. Ruby however opted out of New Years wanting it to celebrate with her friends.  

“Yeah but that’s different than getting to hold her and -”

Alex threw a pillow at your head. She pointed with a glare and with her hand that held a beer bottle. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

“I was gonna say kiss her,” you threw the pillow back onto Alex’s head “but now that you’ve said that I mean hearing her moan my name as she digs her nails into my back.” You smirked and raised your eyebrows at Alex.

Alex groaned and downed the rest of her beer. J’onn and Kelly laughed as Nia cheered. Kara squirmed in her seat as Brainy sat confused.

“I don’t get it, what does Lena have to do with scratching your back, I have some spots I can’t reach.” Brainy looked around the room.

“Let’s end this conversation please. I do not want to hear my baby sister and my best friend,” Kara fiddled with her glasses and cleared her throat.

“Yeah well Alex started it.”

Alex raised her middle finger up to you “At least I can hold and kiss my girlfriend.” She said as she kissed Kelly.

“I’m gonna kill you.”

“With what shutter speed?” Alex mocked.

“With ISO and burn your damn eyes!” You threw your cards at Alex.

The plane dinged alerting its passengers. We will be landing in 30 minutes, it is currently 14:13 and 59°F/15°C in National City. Thank you for flying with United Airlines and welcome to National City.

You were excited to be home and a little bummed that Lena would be flying out to Germany. Once the plane landed you immediately ran through with your camera bag and passed the baggage claim area knowing you could get your luggage later. 

You and Lena had taken a few trips together for you to know where her private plane would be boarding. Unfortunately the exit that led to Lena’s private jet was not accessible without confirmation.

Your girlfriend was so well put together. You could see the bun on her head that you knew pulled on her scalp. She wore a red blouse with black dress pants, a blazer matched with Ray-Ban Aviator sunglasses and her red lipstick.

You knocked on the glass hoping she would spare a glance your way. Fortunately that caught her attention as she walked onto the stairs to the private jet. You blew multiple air kisses towards Lena’s direction and finished with a shimmy and a heart above your head.

The CEO threw her head back and held her stomach. Her eyes immediately grew wide as her arms reached for the rails to catch her balance. She had a hand on her heart, smiled genuinely and moved to blow you a kiss.

You waved until the private jet doors closed behind her. You immediately received a text from your girlfriend reading

Beautiful 💕:I’m sorry we couldn’t physically be together before I left but I’m glad I got to see you. I love you so much.

You: I love you too beautiful. I miss you already.

Beautiful 💕: Kara’s waiting for you outside. Welcome home love.

Your’s and Lena’s apartment was lonely without the other. When you were in Japan, Lena stayed with Kara and while Lena had been away , you stayed with Kara.

KNOCK KNOCK

Kara lowered her glasses and turned towards you. I think you should get it.

“Why?” You asked as you stood up.

You didn’t get an answer when you opened the door and was met with the most beautiful woman in the world. The second of shock quickly disappeared as you pulled Lena into a hug and spun her around.

“You’re home!” You placed several kisses on her cheek. “God I missed you,” you whispered and kissed her lips.

“I missed you too,” Lena whispered back and kissed you once again.

“So glad you’re home, I would’ve been stuck kissing a pillow like Kara at midnight.” Lena laughed as a pillow flew towards your head.

“Okay annual New Years tradition. One thing you are thankful for this year, what you are looking forward to for next year.” Alex cracked open a beer. 

You pulled Lena towards Kara’s kitchen island and poured her a glass of wine. The green eyed beauty already settled into her spot on the corner of the couch. You made your way over and heard the little snippet from Sam. 

“I hope she isn’t a full teenager next year.” Sam sighed.

“She’s turning 16 next year?” You questioned. 

“It’s so fast, definitely looking forward to teen angst next year.” Sam said sarcastically and rolled her eyes. 

“We can help with that when we can,” Kara smiled. 

“I’m sure Eliza had a handful with Alex and (Y/n).” J’onn chuckled. 

“Nuh-uh just Alex, all I wanted to do was to take photos whenever, where ever.” 

“I recall you moved out and stayed with me for a month because mom wouldn’t let you get a camera.” Alex smiled.

“I’m sure you all had your rebellious teen years but no one beats mine,” Lena smirked. “Should’ve seen Lillian’s face when I dyed my hair, got piercings, tattoos, and listened to punk rock.” 

“You all are making this harder on me,” Sam groaned. “Lena you go next.”

“Well I know I say this every year but I am really thankful for all of you. Luthors don’t have good relationships with family and we certainly don’t have friends. You guys make me feel like I’m home.” Awws echoed around the room as everyone stood to enclose the Luthor in a hug. “I am looking forward to more vacations.” 

“Woah, Lena Luthor taking vacations!” Nia cheered. 

“I think we are all grateful for each other,” You said and received hums in agreement. 

“And what are you looking forward to?” Kelly asked. 

“Is it a little selfish to wish it all stayed the same. I have the girl of my dreams,” you kissed the crown of Lena’s head. “an amazing family, a new amazing job.”

“New job?” Brainy questioned. 

“Oh! I’m taking a break from Catco for a bit, I got a job as DP in a feature film called ‘Control’.” 

Kara screamed. “RAO! THAT’S AMAZING! THAT IS LITERALLY YOUR DREAM!”

“Is filming going to be here in National City?” Alex asked.

“Most of the shooting will be done in Vancouver and some other places as well.”

“OMG! Is that why Lena is taking so many vacations?” Nia squealed. 

Lena blushed. 

“I told her before I went to Japan.”

“Of course, I will still be able to work, I think it’s nice to just enjoy being with my girlfriend.”

“I will cheers to that,” Alex kissed Kelly.

“I don’t mind either, home is wherever Lena is. She’s home.” 

Superfriends continued to celebrate their achievements the past year and to opportunities the next year brings. By midnight everyone, including Kara, was drunk or at least a little tipsy. Everyone was on their feet counting the last seconds of the year. When the ball dropped, Alex and Kelly kissed, Brainy and Nia kissed shortly, and you and Lena kissed while Sam, J’onn and Kara hugged each other. 

[solarastro]

⁇ (vegas)

drunk text | @moralstood

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