#the perks of being online no one has to know how weird you are

[asoulwithadream]

Day 4: Reasons why you like OFMD

I'm a simple person, I have simple satisfaction requirements. The bottomline of why I like OFMD is because it's a genuinely funny and witty television show about pirates. (PIRATES) But I can go further. Of course, the representation is insane; the fact that it actually had non-traditional relationships and both realistic character presentations and depictions of a wide range of people (with some creative liberty of course) is so incredibly gratifying.

OFMD is filled with funny, memorable and emotional moments; it has loveable characters and likeable tropes actually executed well— it's a big mix of the best parts of any romcom, and actually prioritises content and quality of scenes instead of expensive visual effects (even though I can argue that OFMD is visually stunning) and easy mass consumerism. (Perks of being written by PEOPLE. PAY YOUR WRITERS).

It fits the demands of the current audience: not only are the moments within the show carefully planned out to connect, but tie in with actual history and documented events all while adding a creative spin to the story, for what I think is the better. The acting is incredible, and it looks like every cast member has genuinly connected with their own character, and that has allowed them to represent them more fully and truthfully, adding a whole new depth to each character.

OFMD is a romcom which has managed to make people giggle and kick their feet, many of who have never done so before watching other television shows.

That's why I like Our Flag Means Death.

(To join this challenge, check out this post)

[seventeenreasonswhy]

Camping with Seventeen!

OT13!Seventeen x GN!Reader

You and your boyfriend, <SVT member> go camping!

Content: fluff i guess? haha, cracked seventeen! 🤪, some members like the outdoors more than others, some mentions of alcohol

SCOUPS

Would talk a big talk about how capable he is of setting up camp. You would be hiking all day, a little farther into the woods than you’d intended because Seungcheol kept urging you to keep hiking, even though you were tired. So you end up in a weird place without much clear ground to pitch the tent on, but Seungcheol insists that it’s the perfect spot. Pretty much everything goes wrong! Your tent poles snap ? the ground is too wet for the fire to get going, it’s starting to get dark... Seungcheol ends up pouting, his pride wounded after you set up the spare tent you brought and the fire, saying he’ll only smile again if you hand feed him s’mores. 🙄

HANNIE

You don’t go camping with Jeonghan, you go camping with Hannie. Hannie looks like a princess but actually likes catching bugs and roughing it! He’s so cute camping it’s crazy. You keep turning around thinking that you’ve lost him but he’s just crouching looking at a leaf he thinks is pretty. Then you have to run to him before he touches it in case it’s poisonous! Hannie is chaotic! And adorable! He’s getting into all kinds of almost-dire situations on this trip. You end up exhausted every night trying to keep up with his fearless approach to the forest, but then he cuddles into you under the stars and you forget he ever did anything wrong!

JOSHUA

Somehow has the best equipment and knows exactly where to go and what to do! The surprises are endless with this guy! He wants to go cliff diving, he wants you to take a picture of him hanging from a really tall branch, he wants to explore a very suspicious and scary-looking cave... Joshua is a risk-taker! And the great outdoors do not scare him! He would eventually pick up on your exhausted expression but he would ignore it haha because he’s having too much fun! Only to surprise you again with how extremely cuddly and sleepy he is by the end of the day.

JUN

why are you bringing a domesticated cat into the woods! pouts about not bringing enough food, forms a hostile relationship to the bugs, stays secured inside the hood of his sweatshirt all day and into the evening until you make him some hot chocolate over the camping stove you brought and he perks right up. would get bored and want to explore the forest, which you discourage because it’s too dark now. you didn’t know what to expect camping with moon junhui, but somehow you have a singularly fun time.

HOSHI

So fun to go camping with! Hoshi is a good sport with a lot of energy, so he’s an ideal hiking companion. He’s good at staying on track, setting up camp, making the food and keeping it safely out of any animal’s reach... you guys have a blast and take a bunch of cute pictures in front of the fire. You cuddle to sleep under the stars! Hoshi loves the outdoors, especially with you!

WONWOO

He'll be the first to admit that he's not the most outdoorsy person but he also doesn’t want you to think he’s incapable so he spends the weeks leading up to the trip researching tips and good equipment/brands online. You can tell that he wants to impress you, because he keeps cutely telling you fun facts the plants on the path and what to watch out for. You tease him for acting so reluctant to go camping when he clearly ‘knows his stuff’ lol. Sweet Wonwoo would be so cute about a camping trip with you.

WOOZI

Hates this idea lol. Woozi is for the indoor girlies. It’s not like he HATES the outdoors, but he’d much rather have a quiet getaway in a nice hotel, or even a cabin. You guys would compromise by renting one of those posh Airbnb tiny houses in the woods. It’s got amenities and great views of nature, so you’re both happy and end up having a fabulous time together.

THE8

Minghao and you go camping all the time! You both love being out in the quiet of nature, and have a fun time hiking around, gently observing the good views of the forest together, and meditating by a stream/waterfall together. Very peaceful activity for both of you and you make a point to go camping together at least a few times a year!

MINGYU

Capable king. Even if he doesn’t camp that often, he is good at it. His biggest challenges are fitting inside the tent and getting scared from random noises at night. But you think it’s cute how he goes from sexy mountain man to scared little baby so fast. He wakes you up in the middle of the night because he thinks he can hear a bear. it turns out to be a cute little raccoon. but that doesn’t matter because Mingyu screams loud anyway, trying to shoo it away from your garbage. Camping with Kim Mingyu is fun!

DK

I can’t imagine a more unserious person to go camping with. He would be super gung-ho at first and react really cutely to all of the beautiful nature (pretty much all he says for the first hour or so of your hike is “Wow!!” and “YN look at this!”) but he gets more and more annoyed with all of the bugs and then gets very scared when it gets dark. Luckily you set up camp before it gets too dark out, but DK is still clinging to you for protection. He excitedly agrees to your challenge of a s’mores eating contest to distract him but he ends up complaining—saying he ate too much while pouting and blaming you. Never a dull moment with DK!

SEUNGKWAN

You initially scoffed (before you could hide it) when Seungkwan suggested that you two take a camping trip, but now that you’re here at the campsite, it’s really nice! You realized that Seungkwan’s version of camping is more like glamping, which you’re lowkey relieved about because you weren’t sure if you could handle really roughing it with Seungkwan overnight. But you end up barbequing together and getting a little tipsy—laughing and talking very late into the night together.

VERNON

Very comfortable with letting you take the lead as you hike and is helpful setting up the camp but not exactly experienced. He hasn’t been camping since he was a kid and he doesn’t try to hide it haha. Vernon is so cute. He does exactly what you tell him to do and gets really excited to make smores. His whole expression is filled with wonder, like he’s discovering the great outdoors for the first time.

DINO

Would put on an impromptu performance by the campfire (which was set up mostly by you but he insists he was the one that really got it to light). But you two make a perfect camping trip team. You’re the logistics and he brings the pizazz. You end up camping at pretty close to other people, but you enjoy the less isolated vibe as you drink and grill into the night!

[emithecharmer]

Shakespeare's Apprentice

Vampire!Hyunjin x human!reader

Warnings: One swear (kind of), vampires

"Soo.." I bit my lip nervously.

"What do vampires do exactly?" I asked, unconsciously bringing some of my hair over my shoulder.

"Stay out of sight, but you can see how that's going." Hyunjin chuckled, resting his head on his arm, turning to face me.

"Do you sleep?" He shook his head.

"Can you eat human food or-?" His lip curled up at that.

"We can, but it's not good." My jaw dropped.

"So, all of the times I cooked for you-" He perked up.

"Now, that was good. It reminded me of when I was human, your soup tastes like my mom's did." He smiled softly.

"Do you miss her?"

"Every single day. I stayed with her until her dying breath, she was a bit curious on why I hadn't aged, but..She never cared much about it." He chuckled a bit.

"Was it hard?" He shrugged.

"I think what helped was the fact she was my mom. I would hate myself for the rest of my life if I hurt her," He tilted his head to look at you, "or you." My heart fluttered and he smiled.

"Is it hard being around me?" I asked, turning to face him, although it was a bit difficult, due to us being in the car.

"Not at all. You're a breath of fresh air." I blinked, surprised at that.

"You're my mate, which means your blood has no appeal to me, only you do." I frowned.

"So, you wouldn't like me if I wasn't your- mate?" He shook his head.

"It's not that simple. A mate is..someone that we're tied to. It's someone that we protect, and that was..made for us? But not in a weird way..It's like..You know what a soulmate is, yes?" I nodded.

"It's like that."

"So we're soulmates?" He nodded at my question.

"Is it weird?" He asked, a bit self-conscious at the new ground he was treading.

"..Well, I mean, you are kind of a vampire, so besides the obvious, not really." He chuckled at my answer.

"'Kind of a vampire?'" I rolled my eyes at his teasing, gaining confidence.

"You know what I mean." He nodded, smiling.

"Your smile's pretty." I said without thinking.

"You're pretty." He replied, reaching out slowly, as if not to scare me, and grabbed my hand, holding it in his. I noted the temperature difference, but it somehow didn't bother me as much as I thought it might.

"Am I cold?" He asked.

"Yeah, but it's nice."

"You're really warm." He said.

"..Can I ask more questions?"

"Can I keep holding your hand?" I nodded.

"Then yes."

.

"What about kids?" I asked.

"I don't really know, I guess it's not impossible? But I'm not exactly an expert on the subject."

"How old were you when you were turned?"

"18."

"Do you know any other vampires?" He nodded.

"I have a coven."

"A 'coven?'" I tilt my head.

"We're basically a band of vampires." He explained in simple terms.

"Oh, right, duh, 'Twilight.' And a 'band?' Ooh, i'll buy tickets." He snorts at my lame joke.

"I'll get you a backstage pass." I smile.

.

"So, what do you do? I mean..I hope you don't do what the Cullens did." He groaned.

"Heck no, I think we'd kill ourselves doing that. I paint, and sell them online. Chris, our 'sire' or 'leader,' whatever he is, he produces along with Bin and Jisung, all online. Minho sells recipes and Felix does the same, but he's also a masked gamer on Twitch and YouTube. Seungmin is a masked singer, along with Jeongin, but both of them kind of dabble in their interests." I nod, entranced as he talks, and i think he notices based off his smirk.

"Don't make me wipe that smirk off." I warn.

"Don't threaten me with a good time." He teases back, smiling softly as he looked into my eyes. "They're gorgeous," he continues, "your eyes, I mean. The rest of you is beautiful too, but your eyes make me feel like i'm somewhere else..Like i'm," he struggled to find the words, "human."

"Ok, Shakespeare, don't go all poet on me." He laughed, leaning in.

"Forgive me, my love, I must have forgotten how small-minded you are."

"Oh really? I'll show you small minded." He laughed again as I struggled to open the car door.

"You may want to try unlocking it."

"I was testing you."

"Ah, of course." He didn't call out my lie as we both got out of the car from where we were parked in the riverfront parking lot.

"Is this how you change me, drown me and then sink your teeth in me." His eyes widen at my joke.

"I would never! But yes, drowning is typically the way we go." He said, obviously joking and making me roll my eyes. "One of these days, they'll get stuck up there."

"Damn, okay mom." He huffs, smiling, but it soon disappears as he looks up to the sky.

"What is it?"

"It's going to rain soon, we should head back, I'll drive you home."

"....Or..." He turns to me, his brow furrowing.

"What?" He asks as the first few drops fall onto the smooth rocks under our feet.

"..Well, and call me crazy if you must, but uh..We could dance." His face softens for a split second before he smirks.

"Who's Shakespeare now?"

"Uh, still you, babygirl. I'm just super-uber romantic." He smiles, walking to me and taking my hand in his, laying it gently on his shoulder, taking my other hand and interlacing it with his.

"Luckily, i am too." He smiles, and I swear my heart stops as he leans down, pressing our foreheads together.

"I'm glad I met you, Hyunjin." I say as we sway to the music that can only be heard in our hearts.

"I'm eternally blessed that you've chosen to grace me with your beauty."

"Someone call up Italy, cause I got Shakespeare right here."

"I take it back." He says, before kissing me softly.

[agaypanic]

heyyy, can I request a chase x fem!reader oneshot where they are like online friends and have grown to like eachother so much to the point he invites her to the island. He's boasting about it but no one believes him until she shows up. Chase is giving her a tour and some of the guys try to show off how powerfull they are and shes not impressed, she's only ever blown away when chase starts to talk all genius-like (Because intellegience is such an aphrodisiac). Its a little based off that one episode where hes defending himself from the others saying how he has talked to girls and that he has an online friend who is possibly a girl.

Smart's Considered Superior (Chase Davenport X Reader)

Masterlist

Request Something!

Summary: Chase decides to invite one of his online friends to the island. Everyone’s shocked to find that this person actually exists, and even more so when it’s a girl. Chase’s brothers try to impress her with their bionics, but she’s too focused on Chase’s intelligence to even spare a glance.

A/N: in this, chase helped donald make leo’s bionic leg for plot purposes

***

Chase was known to be a perfectionist. Being the most intelligent man in the world gave the boy a superiority complex. He needed everything to be his way, and his way was always above and beyond anyone else’s standards.

So no one was too surprised to see him running around the academy to make sure everything was spick and span, and everyone was on their best behavior.

“Chase, what’s up with you?” Bree asked as she watched her brother frantically clean up the Mentor’s Quarters they shared. “You're being weird.”

“Weirder than usual.” Adam corrected.

“I have a friend coming over,” Chase answered shortly.

“A friend?” Adam, Bree, and Leo looked at each other for a few seconds before bursting out in laughter. Chase rolled his eyes and walked out of the room, heading to the common area. His siblings followed him, still amused. “Very funny, Chase.”

“I’m serious,” the genius hissed, stopping in front of the hydroloop’s doors. “She’s on her way right now.”

“She?” Adam’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Now I know it’s a joke.”

“It’s not a joke. You can see for yourself.”

“Oh, I’d love to!” Adam settled into a chair by the window, keeping a watchful eye on the hydroloop station. Bree and Leo quickly joined him.

Chase shook his head before turning back to the hydroloop. No matter how much teasing he would endure from his family, he was determined to enjoy today.

After about a minute, Chase’s siblings were waiting for him to drop the act. Nothing was happening.

But then suddenly, the hydroloop car could be heard zooming into the station. Everyone perked up, waiting for the doors to open to see who would be on the other side.

“Oh my god.” Bree gasped as she watched someone step out of the hydroloop. “It is a girl!”

Adam, Bree, and Leo watched in disbelief as you stepped into the common area, smiling at Chase. He reached out for a hug, which you eagerly returned. In a flash, the three siblings were out of their seats and standing close to you and Chase, observing the interaction curiously.

“It’s so great to finally see you- Oh!” You were talking to Chase when the sudden presence of the three others surprised you. Chase sighed.

“Y/n, these are my siblings; Adam, Bree, and Leo. Guys, this is my friend Y/n.”

“You’re friends with a girl?” You couldn’t help but laugh at Adam’s question. Chase sighed and rolled his eyes, clearly less amused. “How did you even meet her?”

“Online,” you answered simply before deciding to go into the long explanation of it. “Well, I went to Mission Creek High, but Chase and I had only interacted a little bit. And then you guys got busted for the whole bionic thing and moved here, so we fell out of touch, but then we found each other again online. We’ve been talking for, like, months before Chase finally asked me to come over here.”

Adam, Bree, and Leo stared at you, processing what you had just told them.

“No, this has to be a prank.” Leo decided, much to Chase’s chagrin.

“Come on, Y/n. I’ll show you around the academy.” Chase gently but quickly guided you away from his siblings, who were hot on your tails.

***

“And this is the training center,” Chase said, taking you to the last stop on the tour. There were a few students scattered around, talking or sparring with each other. “Once a week, we have bionic battles so the students can move up a level. But besides that, they just come in to show off to each other.”

“Hey, Y/n!” Adam called out from across the large room.

“Like now.” Chase rolled his eyes, and the four of you looked at the eldest Davenport. 

“Watch this!” With an excited smile on his lips, Adam bent over and easily picked up a large medicine ball. “This is like a thousand pounds, and it feels like holding a baby. Or Leo.”

“Shut up, Adam,” Leo whined at the comment. Meanwhile, you looked only slightly impressed at Adam’s abilities. Leo shook his head and turned to you. “You know, I’m bionic, too,” he said with a smirk.

“Really?” you asked, slightly surprised. From what you could remember from going to school with the Davenports, Leo seemed pretty normal—well, normal for Leo.

“Just his arm and leg,” Chase corrected, and you turned to look at him curiously, silently asking for more information. “Well, our bionics are microchips implanted in our necks and integrated with our nervous systems. But Leo’s right arm and left leg were destroyed in different incidents, so the damaged pieces were replaced with bionic technology.”

“Oh wow,” you said, completely fascinated. Not with Leo, even though the conversation was about him. It was Chase, and the way he talked made it seem like he was an expert in the subject, and it was easy to recall any piece of information. You suppose that that was true about any subject in the world. “Who did all that?”

“Well-” Leo tried to reenter the conversation but was cut off by Chase.

“The arm was made by Douglas Davenport, who, long story short, is our biological father. And the leg was made by me and Mr. Davenport.”

“You made a bionic leg?” You asked, stepping closer to Chase in your excitement. “How?!” 

Chase smiled, quickly falling into a spiel about how he repaired Leo’s leg with bionic technology. Every now and then, Leo would try to say something, or Adam would try to get your attention by lifting a few thousand pounds. But they quickly realized their attempts were futile because you hung on to every word Chase was giving you, completely captivated by his knowledge and the charisma that radiated off of him because of it.

[silverflqmes]

heyyyy, can i request a cute modern au fake dating prompt with kazuha where he’s the reader’s pretend boyfriend in order to get a free dessert at a restaurant? the reader is his close friend btw. in headcanons please!!

໒⦂ 𝐅𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐂𝐒.

note. hello anon! tysm for requesting, here is your modern au fake dating headcanons with the leaf sniffer himself, enjoy✨

genre. fluff + crack

kazuha kaedehara x gn!reader.

⌗ kazuha.. yk, he’s pretty easygoing, goes with the wind and all of that shit, so normally he’s down with whatever his best friend ( you ) may come up with

⌗ but when you come up to him and ask for him to pretend to be your boyfriend.. for a free dessert, that has his brow raising

⌗ “let me get this straight — you.. want me to be your boyfriend.” he would repeat, and you nod so he continues, “for a dessert..”

⌗ “and that’s so out of the ordinary how?” you would fire back, to which he would throw his hands up in defense.

⌗ to him it’s completely unheard of, but he knew your love for sweets, and wouldn’t want to deny you of what made you happy; he was your best friend after all, and he did have feelings already to begin with..

⌗ playing the role of a boyfriend was a once in a life time opportunity, and it maintains your friendship without you being weirded out by his feelings — it was a win win situation!

⌗ besides, who wouldn’t want free food???

⌗ “alright, alright.. i’ll be your boyfriend for this dessert of yours. what kind is it anyway, for you to get worked up this much?” he’d chuckle, loving the way your features would perk up. you were just too precious to him

⌗ “that’s just it — the menu is a mystery! but there are different options to choose from and whatever we pick is free! it’s an ideal situation if you ask me.”

⌗ and ideal it was.

⌗ the following day would be the day kazuha becomes your boyfriend.. for a free dessert

⌗ the minute you step out of the gates to your university, his mannerisms and attitude take a one-eighty as he reaches for your hand and steps closer to your side

⌗ it takes you by surprise, knowing your best friend to be rather respectful of space, not as touchy as he was being now — but you didn’t mind it, it sold the act after all

⌗ and it felt.. nice

⌗ but you couldn’t help the comment on your tongue. “initiating first, are we? seems like someone wants free dessert after all!”

⌗ a hum left his lips as he looked up at the sky. “something like that, i suppose. but i would think you’d want to convince the staff of your totally real relationship.”

⌗ the bickering jabs would continue all the way to your destination, where kazuha would open the door for you — though he’s done that before. he’s polite, after all.

⌗ says the whole “after you”, which just has you giggling and smiling upon entry.

⌗ the two of you are eventually seated and you ask for the couple’s special.

⌗ a kind employee would then explain the requirements to receive your free dessert, which came as a surprise to you.

⌗ in the ad online there was nothing on requirements, only to have a significant other — but it seemed the workers really wanted to put the both of you to the test..

⌗ it made sense, though. they couldn’t just give free desserts out for nothing — and surely many people would pretend to get free food!

⌗ there was no going back now.

⌗ and so you accept the challenge.. which is none other than the classic kiss of proof.

⌗ as fake couples would likely hesitate, and maybe even try to work around it.

⌗ kazuha stiffened at first, but was still determined to get you that dessert. cold feet would only decrease your chances at getting that dessert you wanted.

⌗ he looked into your eyes, searching your take on the criteria, and found you nodding just slightly — consent.

⌗ and so kazuha did what any boyfriend would have done as he leaned in to press a quick, yet gentle kiss on your lips.

⌗ they felt soft, against his own — his very first kiss, and with his best friend no less..

⌗ stuck in a daze, the two of you just stared at one another for a moment, processing your actions — the feelings a singular kiss stirred up..

⌗ until a plate of the dessert you’d ordered was placed between you.

⌗ “enjoy~!”

notes. i realize this is my first time writing something for kazuha so hopefully he wasn’t too ooc.. anyway hope you enjoyed and that i was able to fulfill what you wanted in your request<3

↳ return to main masterlist . request rules . send an ask

[stevethemomharrigton]

Kurt’s Number One Fan

A/N: So, I am trying something different. I am expanding to different fandoms. 

Summary: Kurt has two followers, a kid named Bobby, and a girl by the username FuckMyLife. FuckMyLife, would like almost all of Kurt’s videos, and that made him think she liked him, and made him think they were in a relationship. He found out where she lived, by her ending up as one of his passengers.

Warnings: Stalking, Non-com, Smut, Kurt being weird, NSFW, Cam Sex, Somnophilia, Unprotected sex, DarkKurt, 18+, and break in.

------

Y/N was waiting on the sidewalk for her rideshare to arrival. She was standing next to this other girl, who told her that her name was Jessie Adams, and Jessie seemed shocked that Y/N didn’t know her, nor did she care who she was. Soon, they hide someone shout out their names.

???: “Jessie! Y/N!”

Both girls looked over to the voice, to see a man sitting his head out of his car window. He smiled and waved at them.

Jessie: “Is that our Spree driver?”

???: “Hey, Jessie! I’m your guy’s Spree driver, Kurt! Hop in!”

Y/N recognized the name Kurt from anywhere. She opened her mouth to say something, but the back seat window, rolled down and another head popped out of the car. The man smirked at both girls and looked like one of those fuck boys.

???: “Yo, girls, what’s up!”

Jessie cringed and Y/N rolled her eyes.

Jessie: “Yeah, no thanks. I’m out.”

Y/N: “I’ll get in. If only I get to ride up front. There is no way I’ll give in the back with that creep.”

The man in question looked shocked, as if why any girl would say that about him. Kurt just grinned and nodded his head. So, Y/N hopped in the front passenger seat.

Jessie walked away, but Kurt followed after her. He honked the car horn and Jessie looked at him confused and annoyed.

Kurt: “Jessie! Hey, hey, listen. I’m a five-star rated driver-”

Jessie: “I already cancelled, thanks.”

Kurt: “Listen, I can already see where you’re going. It’s right around the bend. It’s on the house. Just get in the car, it’s on me.”

Y/N sighed and pulled her phone out of her pocket. She opened up twitch and got on Kurt’s live to see that he had a good number of followers, which shocked her. Since it’s mostly just her and Bobby that watches Kurt’s streams.

Jessie: “But, like, I cancelled so-”

Y/N cringed at that, because who uses the word “like” like that. Y/N typed in chat in chat and used a donate so her message would come up. And just like she predicted.

FuckMyLife: “Who uses the word “like” like that. It’s cringy as fuck.”

Kurt perked up to this and got all happy to hear that users name. But his attention went right back on Jessie.

Kurt: “Oh, that’s okay. I don’t mind. I’m Kurt, by the way. “

Jessie sighed and opened the back door and hopped into the car. The man in the back, eyed both her and Y/N’s bodies.

Kurt: “Hope you guys like the music! I made it KurtsWorld96, official track.”

He suddenly turned it up, and Y/N covered her ears. Jessie did the same thing. Kurt backed out of the parking lot. The gross man started speaking.

Gross man: “Do you two, like, have threesomes?”

Y/N glared at the gross man, but Jessie didn’t hear him. So, when she asked for him to repeat what he said to her, he glared at Kurt.

Gross man: “Dude! Can you just turn off your shitty music!”

Y/N got upset at that, because she liked Kurt’s music. 

Y/N: “Hey, Kurt’s music isn’t shitty! If you actually listened to it, you would know. You just have shit taste.”

Kurt looked at her shocked, but also happy, that someone liked his music other than his online “girlfriend”

Gross: “At least can he turn it down?!”

Kurt: “Oh, yeah. But you were just telling me how much you liked it.”

Gross man looked panicked to this and shook his head. Y/N rolled her eyes.

Gross man: “Yeah, no I wasn’t. It’s shit, um-”

Kurt: “So, jessie! Y/N! I already told him this, but I got these cameras in here set up for everyone’s safety. Full disclosure. FYI, I’m totally and completely transparent.”

Y/N typed in chat, and the donate came up.

FuckMyLife: “And he loves to stream. But don’t you date judge him. He’s good at it!”

Kurt smiled at this, and looked quite happy, that his online “Girlfriend” gave him praise.

Kurt: “Thanks FuckMyLife!”

Y/N cringed when he read her username out loud. Jessie and the Gross Man looked shocked by the username. Y/N typed in chat again.

FuckMyLife: “Kurt you may use my real name. Y/N.”

Kurt froze and looked quite shocked. He looked over at Y/N and he looked like he was about to explosd.

Kurt: “Wait, YOUR FuckMyLiffe?!?”

Y/N cringed again, but slowly nodded her head. Kurt was way so happy, about this. To have his online “Girlfriend” in his car with him for the first ever time.

Bobby: “Cool Kurt. You now have met your “Online Girlfriend” You can now lose your V-card!”

Y/N looked shocked by that, and Kurt blushed. He whispered something to his camera, probably talking to Bobby about what he just said. Gross Man seemed annoyed that the attention wasn’t on him.

Gross man: “Okay, enough of this. Jessie, Y/N. Watch out for this guy. He’s a fucking psycho. But like I was saying. My name is Mario, and, uh, you must be Jessie and Y/N. But you guys can call me whatever you want when we’re in bed together.”

Jessie and Y/N cringed, and Kurt glared at Mario for flirting with his “girlfriend” in front of him. Jessie then snorted and pulled out her phone. She scooted closer to the door.

Jessie: “He has ears. And eyes. And three legs. And rabies.”

Mario laughed, and Y/N just looked bored as hell. This worried Kurt.

Mario: “Hey you’re fucking funny girl. Wait, hold up. I KNOW you!”

Jessie looked shocked and annoyed by that, and Y/N looked confused on how he knew Jessie.

Jessie: “No, you don’t.”

Mario: “Yes, I do.”

Kurt: “Hey, Mar-io Mare-io, or whatever your name is, just grab a water and chill out. Stop bothering her.”

Mario: “Shut the fuck up. Yo, she’s a comedian!”

Y/N looked shocked, since she knows most comedians, and if Jessie is this popular, how did she not know about her, or heard of her before right now? Kurt looked shocked by this.

Mario: “Yeah. No, you do the uh “Hey everybody look at me”

Y/N looked confused about how was that funny. 

Jessie: “It’s “All eyes on me”

Y/N was still confused on how that was funny. 

Mario: “I fucking knew it!” Yeah, yeah, you’re like. All eyes on me, All eyes on me. I said all eyes on” I fucking knew it.”

Kurt looked excited, and Y/N rolled her eyes.

Y/N: “Okay, we get it dude. You know her. Can you shut the fuck up now?”

Mario looked upset that a girl told her what to do. But his attention went right back on Jessie.

Mario: “She’s got a mega following!”

Kurt looked even more excited by this.

Kurt: “That’s amazing! How did you grow your audience?”

Jessie: “Um, I’m, like, funny.”

Y/N rolled her eyes since that isn’t helpful information at all. On top of that, Jessie doesn’t seem funny to her. She typed that in chat.

FuckMyLife: “That’s shit advice. On top of that, who says that?! “Um, I’m like, funny.” can you please use the word like, right?”

Jessie looked shocked by that, that someone doesn’t find her funny. Kurt looked over at Y/N and frowned. He kicked himself in the ass for making his “girlfriend” jealous.

Bobby: “Damn girl! You love picking fights with everyone?!”

FuckMyLife: “Yes, yes, I do Bobby. Mostly you for how you treat Kurt.”

Bobby: “But’s he’s so annoying! How can you deal with him?”

FuckMyLife: “Because I am his FRIEND! You are just a child. Shut it.”

Bobby: “I am not a child you bitch!”

Kurt wanted to get the attention back on to what they were talking about, and not his “girlfriend” and Bobby fighting. In truth he got jealous of Y/N giving Bobby attention and not him. He sees that as her getting back at him for making her jealous.

Kurt: “I mean, having a big following...I can, I mean, yeah, all those notifications coming in. I mean, I get it. I do, too. So, Jessie, it’s cool to meet you. Follow for follow, and if you post anything on my Spree, just make sure to tag me. I’m KurtsWorld96.”

Jessie busted out laughing, and Y/N didn’t get what Kurt said was so funny. 

Jessie: “Sir, are you a Twitter bot, or is there a real live human boy in there?”

Mario laughed and tried to throw his arm around Jessie’s shoulders, but she threw it away from her.

Jessie: “Don’t touch me.”

Mario: “Yo, Jessie, I got to say, you were...you were one of the better sets that night. Just very pro I thought.”

Jessie: “Wow, thank you. Thank you so much. glad you think I’m pro, even though I was doing a professional gig.”

Y/N typed in chat.

FuckMyLife: “That was a professional gig?”

Jessie looked shocked, and Kurt let out a snicker.

Bobby: “Wait...you went to her set? You went OUTSIDE?!”

FuckMyLife: “Yes I did Bobby. I do have a life.”

Bobby: “Cool, I didn’t know.”

FuckMyLife: “Shut it child!”

Mario pulled his phone out and started recording.

Mario: “Yo, yo, what’s up?! It’s your boy, Mario, and we are out here. Guess who.”

Y/N typed in chat/

FuckMyLife: “A gross toll man that likes to perve on girls in the dark of the night.”

Mario glared at Kurt’s stream, and Kurt almost busted out laughing.

Bobby: “You can say that again. This man reeks of desperate. More than Kurt does.”

Mario: “No you bitches!”

Kurt tensed up, not liking what Mario called his “girlfriend” and Bobby.

Mario: “It’s hot chick comedian, Jessie Adams, in the house!”

Jessie covered her face, not liking how Mario was recording her, without her consent. Y/N got annoyed by that as well.

Jessie: “Stop! Do not point that phone in my face!”

She tried to slap his phone out of his hand, but he pulled it away from her.

Jessie: “What is wrong with you!?”

Kurt: “Yeah, point it at me, your driver, KurtsWorld, uh-”

Mario: “You shut the fuck up!”

Kurt: “KurtsWorld96!”

Mario completely ignored Kurt and pointed his phone back at Jessie. She covered her face again, getting really annoyed.

Mario: “You come on. Give me a little smile, girl.”

Jessie: “Oh my god! Are all the tanning oils getting to your head?!”

Y/n started freaking out by all the yelling, and she was trying trouble breathing.

Jessie: “I thought all you frat boys didn’t like black people?”

Mario’s face fell and he lowered his phone and stopped recording. He glared at jessie.

Mario: “What the fuck!? Why would you say that?! That’s not fucking true! Now I can’t even post this!”

Kurt looked shocked by this, and Y/N freaked out even more.

Jessie: “You know what. Squirt’s World, just let me out here.”

Mario: “What? Are you serious?”

Kurt: “Honestly man. I’m about ready to drop you off on the side of the road, okay?! You’re pissing off my girlfriend! Just grab a water and get ready to call another Spree.”

Mario looked shocked and upset that he was being told to get out, and not Jessie.

Mario: “On the side of the fucking highway?! Are you nuts?! No, no, I’m not! And you know what? You just got yourself a one-star rating, bitch. And you, you should really use those beautiful smiles a little more often, huh?”

Jessie looked at Mario annoyed, and Kurt looked upset that Mario was going to give him a one-star rating.

Jessie: “Oh, God. Okay, right!”

She held up her phone and started recording Mario, just like he did to her.

Jessie: “Hey, guys. I’m stuck in a Spree Social with THIS defective clown. He’s been nagging me and calling me fucking slurs. He’s a disrespectful little shit. I you see him on the street, just cross to the other side, smile. Or just push him into traffic. That’d be better for everybody. He goes by the name of Mario-”

Kurt: “Hey, everyone, what’s going on.”

Jessie turned the camera over to Kurt. He smiled, happy, to be on someone else’s recording.

Kurt: “KurtsWorld96, here. Follow me for “The Lesson” links in the bio. And I always follow back-”

Jessie: “Oh my god. Why do I keep doing this to myself? I’m a fucking Spree Social to save three bucks. For THIS headache? This ever happen to you guys? Oh, and Kurt, you might want to check on your girlfriend.”

With that she ended her recording and posted it to her story on Instagram. Mario didn’t like this at all. But Kurt got worried about what Jessie said about Y/N and looked over to see that she was freaking out.

Mario: “I’m just going to say, that becoming Insta famous has really gone to your head, because you’re a total bitch. That girl up front as well. She hasn’t spoken a single word to me!”

Kurt slammed on his breaks, which freaked Y/N out even more. Jessie and Mario looked at him shocked. Kurt glared at Mario and pointed to his door.

Kurt: “Out.”

They looked shocked by that.

Mario: “Me?! They’re the ones being all fucking mean and shit! What, you’re protecting your girlfriend!?”

Jessie sighed and unbuckled.

Jessie: “Nope, fuck this. I’m getting out.”

Kurt looked shocked and panicked.

Kurt: “No, no, no, wait! Are you sure?!”

Jessie: “Yep, certain.”

With that she opened the door.

Jessie: “Fuck you *Pointing at Mario* and you *Pointing at Kurt* Reel it in a bit, buddy. No one says “Follow for Follow” out loud. And if she’s your girlfriend. You’re doing a shit job at taking care of her.”

Kurt looked shocked and upset that Jessie said that about him. Jessie grabbed a water bottle, and Kurt was happy that she took it. He wanted her to die, for what she said to him. Jessie slammed her door shut. 

Mario: “Hey, bitch, maybe don’t be such a bitch next time!”

Jessie glared at him and stormed back over to the car.

Jessie: “Oh? How’s this for being a fucking bitch?!”

She splashed the water in Mario’s face, threw the bottle back in the car, and then stormed off. Kurt droves away but looked down at Y/N who was clenching her shirt, but she was sleeping. He sighed in relief to this.

(Time skip)

Kurt dropped Y/N off home, and she quickly took a shower, and got dressed.

She went to bed and passed out.

(With Kurt)

It was night when Kurt made it to Y/N’s house. He just killed Bobby, and kidnapped Jessie. He thought of taking her to his house, but he opted to taking her to Y/N’s house instead.

Y/N’s house looked similar to Jessie’s house. So, Jessie didn’t question it. So went through the front, and Kurt went through the back.

He made sure to stay hidden as Jessie went through the dark house. She walked up the stairs and made it to the bathroom. While she was in there, Kurt used a chair to lock her inside.

He then snuck into Y/N’s room and walked over to her bed. He had his camera and everything.

Y/N wasn’t using her blanket, so this let Kurt see her night gown. He nearly fainted at the sight of her small black night gown. 

Kurt: “Hey!”

He didn’t get a response from Y/N, meaning she’s a heavy sleeper. He turned on her lamp and harshly swallows. He was nervous. He looked at his stream to see his chat was going insane.

Kurt: “This is my girlfriend Y/N. This is our first time doing something like this. I’m so nervous.”

He propped his phone on Y/N’s dresser, pointing it right at the bed. Getting a good view of both of them. Getting a good angle, that it will show both Kurt and Y/N. Not just Kurt.

He slowly got on the bed and moved Y/N’s legs apart with his knee. He scooted to sit between her legs and lifted up her night gown to show her black panites. He smirked at this.

Kurt started grinding on Y/N’s leg, making him groan softly and low, since he didn’t want to wake her up.

Kurt: “You're going to be a good girl for me, Y/N~? My fans are going to enjoy this~!”

Kurt heard the shower turn off, meaning that jessie was done with her shower. Kurt knew he needed to get done quick before Jessie broke out of the bathroom.

So, he quickly lowered his hand to Y/N’s V and pulled down her panties. He then used his middle finger to find her slit. Soon he found her clit and started rubbing it. This caused Y/N to moan. He smirked at this.

Kurt: “Oh, do you like that~? You love it when I rub your clit~?”

The chat was going haywire to this. Someone donated.

PuppiesSuck: “Make her moan louder Kurt! We can’t hear her!”

Kurt snickered and nodded his head. He pushed his middle finger into Y/N’s aching hole, and she let out a louder moan to that. He started fucking her with his finger, letting her moan loud.

DildoRocks: “Wow, she’s loud!”

Kurt smirked at this and nodded his head.

Kurt: “Yeah, she is~! I wonder if I can get her to go louder~?”

He pushed another finger into her, and she moaned even louder. She clung to her bedsheets. The chat was going crazy over this.

TimeLord: “Kurt, Jessie might hear, and break out of the bathroom! Just fuck her already!”

Kurt knew that TimeLord was right. He didn’t need Jessie stopping him from having sex with his “girlfriend”. So, he pulled his fingers out of her, and she let out a small whimper. He smirked at this and unzipped his pants and reached in them.

He pulled his cock out, and spit onto it, as a form of lube. He smeared it on his cock, and then lined it up to Y/N’s aching hole and then shoved his cock into her.

Kurt:” *Groans* Oh, do you like that Y/N~? Chat, do you think she likes it when I shove my cock into her~?”

The chat was going crazy.

Pieapple: “I think she does Kurt!”

CrazyDog: “I think you should give her more pleasure!”

Kurt liked this idea, and reached his hand between their bodies, and started rubbing her clit again. Y/N cried out in pleasure and let go of her bedsheets and wrapped her arms around Kurt’s neck.Kurt gasped as he felt Y/N’s walls tighten around his cock.

Kurt: “*Groans* Shit, I think she just came~!”

MarvelQueen: “Did it feel good?”

Kurt: “God, yes~! God, Y/N~! Cum on my cock like the dirty girl you are~!”

He quickken his pace, making Y/N’s bed shake a little bit.

Kurt: “*Groans* God, she’s so wet~!”

FairyTittles: “So wet for you!”

Kurt moaned and nodded his head. He placed his hand on Y/N’s waist, straightened his back, as he fucked into her. He threw his head back.

Y/N: “K-*Moans*”

Kurt looked down at Y/N and smirked. 

Kurt: “*Groans* Oh, where you about to say something~? Chat, did you *Groans* hear that~? She was about to *Groans* say something~?”

God: “She was Kurt. She was about to say something.”

Kurt: “*Groans* Come on Y/N~! Say it~!”

Y/N: “K-Kurt~!”

Kurt’s heart exploded. Happy, that she was saying his name, and thinking of him, while having sex.

Tittles: “Kurt, she’s probably having a dream of you fucking her!”

Kurt was happy, to hear this. Happy that his “Girlfriend” was thinking of him in her sleep. He then suddenly hears a bang down the hall and knew that was Jessie.

WorldDestration: “Kurt, hurry up! Jessie is about to ruin your sex time!”

Kurt didn’t want that to happen. He quickly moved his hands on Y/N’s waist and picked up his pace. Y/N moaned out and clung onto Kurt. Chat was going insane.

EndOfTheWordl: “Kurt, you should cum in her!”

OOOOO: “Oh ffuck yeah! That might get you more folowers!”

That got Kurt’s attention, and he thought about it. He sees Cumming in someone a form of connecting their souls together. He wanted to do that with Y/N, and this was his chance to do so.

Y/N K-Kurt, fuck~!”

Kurt: “*Groans*: Yes~! Scream my *Groans* Scream my name~! Chat, you love this~?”

ChatGod: “Yeah we do Kurt!”

Kurt felt Y/N’s walls tighten around his cock again, and he groaned out. Chat was eating this shit up.

Kurt: “*Groans* God~!”

AThrone: “Did she cum again?”

Kurt: “*Groans* God yes~!”

OfDawn: “That means she loves it, Kurt. Keep going!”

Kurt picked up his pace, on both thrusting into her, and rubbing her clit. 

AndDagger: “Make her cum again!”

Tim: “Yeah, that was hot!”

Kurt loved pleasing his chat, so he thrusted into her harder. This caused her to moan louder, which Kurt knew Jessie could hear this point. Y/N came again, and Kurt moaned out loud. 

Kurt: “Yes~! Cum all over my god damn cock~! Chat, *Groans* do you think she wants my CUM~?”

Rogers: “Yeah Kurt. She does!”

Kurt felt this cock twitch and he knew that meant he was close. He could hear Jessie beating on the bathroom door, trying to break it down. Probably think her grandmother was getting fucked.

Kurt: “*Groans* God~! Y/N, baby~! I’m close~!”

SteveKiller: “Cum in her!”

Kurt: “*Groans* God, I will~! Y/N, I’m going to cum so deep in you~!”

Buk: “And she’s going to take it!”

Kurt: “Hell yeah she is~!”

Y/N cried out as she came, and Kurt picked up his pace. With the snap of his hips, he shoved his cock so deep into her.

Kurt: “*Groans* F-FUCKEN HELL!!!”

He pants and slowly pulled out of her. He then used one of her shirts to clean up his mess. He put his cock back into his pants, and slowly left Y/N’s room. He let Jessie out of the bathroom but killed her.

He dragged her body out of the house and tossed her in the truck of his car. He then drove back home.

[terrence-silver]

Would terry have more trouble taking beloved who is famous/ a celebrity?

---

-"In 1983,"- Demetri holds up the old, tattered gossip periodical they've fished out of Mrs. Moskowitz's attic stash of dusty trinkets and forgotten keepsakes, reading carefully, wide eyes following every line, every word like it was lifechanging --- like they could find the Yeti or the Sasquatch hidden somewhere among the many columns, Hawk perched up beside him on the squeaky floorboard surrounded by boxes, scoffing, clearly not appreciating the great mystery they were so close to uncovering together. -"After their subsequent movie one hit wonder one the Red Carpet, the dazzling career of one of Hollywood's and LA"s aspiring sweethearts takes a sudden nosedive nobody foresaw coming."-

He acutely feels Hawk's amused eyeroll burning a hole in the back of his head.

How was this not exciting for him!?

Binary Bros, uncovering the puzzle behind a 80's mega-star slipping into obscurity?

Practicality overnight!?

Sus.

-"Reports on retiring from public life took the jet-set of Hollywood by storm."- He narrates on, the article, admittedly, being incredibly and annoyingly vague. Offering no real intel. Only suspicious amounts of formality. Followed by pictures of aggrieved fans circling the streets of LA in front of MGM studios strewn all over the glossy page. Maybe it was easier to disappear back then. No Internet. No Instagram. Nobody slipping into a celebrity's DMs. Just speculations and handwritten fanmail. Landline phones at best? He continues, practically out of breath, finding a quote. -"'Our goal is privacy and civilian integrity. Just that. We ask to be respected in our decision.' Beloved, as affectionately nicknamed by their fanbase, not wanting to give any statements had their acting manager explaining, having no further comments."-

Beloved? He supposed that was a stage name of sorts? Like Cardi B? Weird.

But that bit of dialogue by their manager ---

If that didn't stink, Demetri didn't know what did.

Not even extensive True Crime Google searches or sifting through Missing Person reports gave him more clarity than what they right right in this celebrity gossip magazine from, like...what? Thirty years ago? Forty? Man, his parents haven't even met back then. They were both still kids!

-"C'mon. It's just some ancient, unconfirmed conspiracy theory from back when the dinosaurs were still roaming the planet."- Hawk shrugs and Demetri turns the page, finding sudden epiphany. -"No, no! Listen to this, though!"- He perks up, tugging at Hawk's forearm, nearly jumping on the attic floorboard with the flashlight he was holding in his hand. Wasn't even dark. He was just doing it for the spooky vibes, to be honest. He found it! Found what he was looking for! Photographic evidence, receipts and all! -"Pictured with Corporate Business Moghul, Charity Entrepreneur and one of LA's most eligible Billionaire bachelors, Terrence Silver."- The description under an image says and how did he not find this online? Was this just conveniently fine-combed off of the web? -"The young starlet's colorful choice of date, deemed controversial by some still declared the most photogenic Red Carpet couple of '83."- There he was, Ponytail Sensei --- Sensei Targaryen --- eons younger, dark haired for contrast, looking like one of those shiny, perfect Ken dolls, hand in hand with the object of their research. They were a thing! Like, together-together. -"I knew it!"-

He holds up the tabloid, pointing at it vigorously, feeling victorious.

Gloating just a teeny, tiny bit.

It was The Valley's very own unsolved urban mystery!

-"You nerd."- Hawk laughs from where he was sitting, knees bent under him, chilling on the busted parquet that has definitely seen better days, still skeptical. Okay, alright. Demetri saw how it was. His amazing talents and privately investigative research in tandem were clearly not appreciated around here. That was his thanks then? -"Yeah, some asshole from the newspapers retiring like a million years ago and dating some Bond Villain who hasn't changed his hairstyle in decades. Spooky."- He shakes his head, wiggling around his fingers and pursing his lips for emphasis, clearly unimpressed, taunting him, making fun of the whole concept, about to get up and climb down from the attic and just about ditch him. Call quits on this whole project. -"You and your head in the clouds, I swear."-

A realization hits Demetri like a train at full speed.

-"What if he like, you know, went all Fatal Attraction?"- He grabs Hawk by the elbow, stopping him in his tracks, whispering like the walls suddenly grew ears. -"What if, there was a kidnapping involved and he scooped them up, got his Doctor Evil scheming and Scrooge McDuck connections to erase all traces of them and has been keeping them in some crazy mastermind lair all these years? You know, like a hostage? Made it seem like it was just some out of the blue retirement?"- Demetri lets it all pour out, without filter, saying exactly what he was thinking no matter how insane it sounded and it kind of did sound insane, admittedly; feeling himself fall into a frenzy of rambling regardless, all his long weeks of thinking and thinking, trying to figure the mystery out and it all so suddenly made sense. Cobra Kai's current new Sensei, no matter how surface level nice he seemed, had more than one skeleton in the closet and this was one of them. But, if that was the case, just how powerful was this guy? The frozen intensity in Hawk's eyes matches his in the darkness of the attic illuminated only by their flashlight and for a second, Demetri thinks he's believed and then --- Hawk snorts loudly. Then he chortles to top it all off, grabbing him by the shoulder, startling him. Very funny. Hilarious.

-"Yeah, wow, okay, I don't believe that. Nobody can pull that off."-

He pats him on the back, leading him downstairs.

[soursvgar]

Levi (is being the stan culture unofficial bf you may or may not have always wanted and) drags you to an adventure in the human world, you drag satan into this and yall end up wet ?! not clickbait

gn! reader, once again with the poly, a short fluffy fluff

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"I can't believe you talked me into this." you grumble, nestling deeper inside your thick coat. Leviathan had convinced you to accompany him on a trip to the human world because he just had to be the first to score concert tickets of his favorite human world idol girl group, and who knows better about the human world antics other than you? Albeit the adoration of your expertise in how to socialize with your own species, Leviathan had forgotten to mention one tiny detail. You had to line up outside the entrance of the store along with other fans, in minus some degrees. Something your fragile human body wasn't too used to, specifically not after spending a good couple of months in the very depths of hell.

"Hey, it's not like I'm enjoying being out of my room either. If I could do that online, I would. But their fans crashed the servers on the day of the online sale, so this is our only option." Leviathan shrugged, unbothered by the low temperatures. After all, being a supernatural entity comes with its own perks, having a hardy body is only one of many.

"Your only option." You corrected, your shivering becoming more unbearable by the hour.

"What I can't understand is-" Satan unwraps his scarf from around his neck and gently ties it to yours, supplying you with at least some degree of comfort. "What am I doing here?" He heaves a sigh, kicking a pebble on the ground. Satan was promised a delightful trip to a famous cat cafe in the area, with plenty of fuzzy felines to pamper. Not camping in the cold weather with a bunch of strangers- and Levi.

"Well... I needed a responsible adult in case Levi gets approached by a human and says something weird, or decide to attack them over polarized opinions about their favorite member of the group." You fumble with the ends of the scarf, nuzzling your face into the soft fabric.

"And you thought Satan of all demons will be your guy?" Leviathan sneers, earning an exasperated look from his younger brother.

"He was the easiest to convince... with the exception of paying Mammon, but I feel like it would've been even more chaotic with him around." The two of them look at each other and then at you, defeated. They definitely have no argument to contradict that statement. "And I did mean to go to the cat cafe! I just didn't know we will have to be standing here for hours before we can get those tickets."

And then without a warning, the deafening rolling of a thunder booms and the heavy droplets are not late to follow. The rain is pouring cats and dogs (but not literally, to Satan's disappointment), drenching the three of you from head to toe. The shop owner announces the delay of the sale, requiring the now displeased attendees to leave the premises.

"This is so unfair! Who cares about a small drizzle? I need my tickets or I will simply combust." Leviathan whines at the failed attempt.

"It looks like a big storm is approaching, we should find a shelter." Satan exclaims and grabs your arm to lead you away while Leviathan trudges behind the two of you. You pass a few full cafes before stumbling upon a small, cozy looking book cafe. "This will do!" Satan asserts, definitely without a bias. You wriggle your way inside the cafe through the crowd of umbrellas, finally able to take the soaked garment off of you.

"This might not be a cat cafe, but it has heating for our shivering human so I guess that's good enough." Satan offers you an apologetic half smile. "I'll go get us some hot tea; you find us a place to settle down."

"Well, I always thought about the human world but you know, the devildom isn't exactly the worst." You return the smile, hoping to lighten up the mood.

"I mean... a place for us to sit, y/n. But I will take note of that comment." Satan chuckles, appreciating the sentiment. You then scope your surrounding in hopes to find a vacant table, spotting a fireplace across the room. Naturally, you walk over and place your hands in front of it to regain back some of your body warmth.

In the meantime, the shadow of one particular loner is quietly following your footsteps all the way to the fireplace, waiting until the two of you are secluded from the rest- and from a certain blonde haired demon. Leviathan practically clings to your arm to stop you from advancing any further.

"Hey, aren't you forgetting something? I mean, I know it's just me and I'm not worthy of anyone's attention but... your exchange is making me feel kind of... disposable." He gushes all at once. "I'm sorry if I made it look like the tickets were more important than your health, it isn't!! not to me! it's just that I've been wanting to watch their concert for so long and since it's a human world group it's not like I can see them whenever I want- augh, my point is, I'm really sorry. Please don't be mad, you're my best friend in the whole three worlds except Henry and-"

You peek at him, his cheeks are flushing as he keeps slurring his words incoherently, obviously too nervous for his own good.

"Levi!!! calm down. I'm not mad." You respond loudly enough to halt his word vomit.

"Woah what a reli-" And before he manage to complete his sentence, you pull him close, squeezing him in a tight hug. He would blame it on the heat omitted from the fireplace, but the sole reason behind his rosy cheeks is the heat of your body enclosing on his own.

Still jittery, he pulls away when he hears a cough. Satan had returned with three cups of green tea, placing the tray in front of you.

"I see you two were having fun... are you all nice and toasty by now, y/n?" He hums, sitting near you. Despite his nonchalant attitude, you sense the pang of jealousy in his voice, knowing you'll be trapped in a sticky situation if you make the avatar of wrath angry- or the avatar of envy, envious. Most definitely if it takes place in a small cafe in the middle of the human world. You decide to act quick, switching to sit in the space between the both of them.

"Hey Satan, I'm sorry we didn't get to go to the cat cafe... but at the very least, there is a cute cat in this cafe."

"Where??" Satan looks around frantically, is it possible he had missed such a majestic creature laying around this wee lodging? Laughing, you reach your hand to tuck a loose lock of gold behind his ear, lightly scratching behind it before you place a fleeting kiss to his forehead.

"Right here."

[scifrey]

NINE-TENTHS

Part Five

You remember what I told you about the Inciting Incident? Well, this is where it matters.

Because that alarm clock?

It sucks. 

Stu was right, and I couldn't tell when the light got bright. I am stupid-lucky my brain wakes up on its own, shouting something is wrong! It takes me thirty solid seconds of staring at the display to figure out what 'something wrong' is. 

I am very late.

I freaking run to Beanevolence, throbbing head down, gulping on air to keep from puking because I am so very hungover, and hoping I don't bowl someone over. I'm envisioning a line of pissed off suits waiting by the door, tapping expensive shoes on the filthy pavement. Or Hadi writing out a pink slip. She'd do it, too, even if she had to go buy the pink paper specifically for the dramatic gesture. 

Rounding the corner, I'm both relieved and horrified to see there's only one person waiting. Shit. I've totally screwed the morning rush. That's hundreds of bucks Hadi is out.

Then my stomach swoops, because it’s him. The guy I’d thought for a hopeful split-second had been at the bar last night. 

Now is not the time to be kicking yourself.

Now is the time to open the goddamn door, and make some coffee, and steal some of the weapons-grade painkillers Hadi keeps in her desk. Hangover Headaches are the worst. The fact that I did it to myself makes it even worse-er. Worser? Whatever, I hurt too much right now to care whether that's a real word or not. 

He’s in his usual uniform: a tailored-within-an-inch-of-its-life waistcoat, button-down, and dress pants combo, this time the yellow-and-hunter green check. Flattering, but not my fave. The newspaper under his arm is in French today. He looks slightly desperate for his caffe tobio. That’s a short pull of espresso doppio'd into drip-coffee. Hard core. If I didn't know what he was, I'd say it was a macho drink ordered to intimidate, like dudes who eat hot sauce that's too spicy to look cool. But who knows what caffeine does to people like him? Maybe coffee alone isn't enough to give him his morning perk. Maybe he just likes the taste.

"Sorry," I say, as I swoop in.

The split-tongue steps back, gesturing to the door. This close to him, I can tell he's got that weird aftershave on. It's smoky-amber, with musky deep undertones of fermenting grapes that one field trip too many to peninsula wineries has tattooed on my brain. 

"You're late—" he starts, and I shouldn't call him a split-tongue, even in my own head. He doesn't lisp. 

What he does do is talk in a skin-tinglingly precise accent that’s British in the vowels and hard Canadian on the consonants. It’s arresting, and lyrical. He even rolls his 'r's a little and, okay, I have wondered how you get a forked tongue to do that. The point is, it's the kind of accent no one else has had in decades. Maybe centuries, I don't know. 

I mean, I have no idea what the dude's name is, let alone his age. Kind of a rude thing to ask. 

"I'm aware," I grunt.

"Allow me—" It takes me a second to realize he's trying to get at the door to, what, open it for me? Like some sort of romantic hero?

Oh, no.

No.

That's cute.

That will not do.

I can feel his body heat , and my brain is seriously not online enough to separate last night's fantasies from reality, and arrggggh. 

"I got it," I say, a bit stronger than is polite. 

His eyes snap wide. This close, the sunflower yellow of them is flecked with sparks of warm amber. He blinks a few times, the gold-leaf freckles that dance across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose getting lost in a mortified flush. 

Shit, I'm being an asshole. 

"Sorry," I say again. "Can you just… let me actually open first?"

He stands there, all handsome and forlorn. "I thought you might be ill—" 

I drag my under-caffeinated gaze from his mouth—this close I can see that the upper peak of his lips are so perfectly shaped they look like they've been tattooed there. I don't think I've ever seen his elegant face composed into anything except a politely thoughtful expression of near-nothingness, sort of like if resting bitch face had a refined older brother. But now he looks hang-dog.

I want coffee. 

I want him to back off. 

(I want to kiss him.) 

I'm so hungover. 

He is so pretty in the morning light.

I'm being so uncooly feral. 

What is wrong with me today? I bet if I'd actually gotten laid last night I wouldn't be staring at him like he's the last donut. 

"Fine, come in."

He heads for his usual front corner table. He must know he looks good sitting there. Possibly he likes this table because he likes his back to the wall, and a full view of the street. Hadi painted the support columns of the old black building the same blazing bronze as her logo, and they do frame the view nicely. And him. Or maybe he just likes the warmth from the windows—it could be a cold-blooded lizard thing. But honestly, I really think he's doing it just to torment me.

'Cause when the sun hits the front of the building just right, it sparks off his spun-copper hair, lines his high cheekbones and beaky nose in gold, gilds his shining freckles, and lends a flush of warmth to his otherwise cream-pale skin. 

(What? I’m still a writer at heart. I’ve already decided exactly how I'd describe him on paper. Don’t judge me.)

God, I'm thirsty. 

I lie to myself and pretend I mean I need something to drink. 

The fact that I can almost hear the syrupy anime love theme every time I look at him is the unfairest kind of bullshit imaginable. I am a trashperson, lusting after him when the most we've ever spoken before today was the time he miraculously asked for a second caffe tobio (he'd had bruises under his eyes like thumbprints. I'd wanted to ask him if he was okay, but he was back to his table so quick and—) 

Maybe Gem is right and I do need to lay off the romance novels. 

(Never.) 

Thirsty. Focus on the coffee.

Right. 

Maybe I need a glass of ice-water instead. 

Maybe just a whole-ass cold shower.

Previous Part | Next Part | Read on Wattpad

[yourdeepestfathoms]

what’s up, it’s ya girl, Lizzie, back again with another original book idea

so, Security Breach got me hooked on the concept of an innocent person being mind controlled into being an serial killer, but the franchise did NOTHING with it, so i’m taking matters into my own hands

the book is about an eighteen-year-old girl named Lori living on her own in an RV at a beach town. Lori picks up this ANCIENT game at her local antique store. it’s of this old, absolutely unknown game called Carousel (a filler name for now). Carousel comes with this actual mini carousel that you’re meant to plug into your computer (similar to a Skylander portal, if that makes sense). once the carousel is plugged in, you can add character figures onto it that give you different perks (still working the whole thing out, but the carousel IS plot revenant).

Carousel is a pixelated game about this this failing circus. it opens with a cutscene of the circus doing poorly, and the five Ring Leaders (still deciding their names) have a conversation about creating a new attraction. their solution is to create a Circus Freak—or a Chimera, a creature so incredibly bizarre that NOBODY will want to miss glimpsing it. the player character (named Lyle) then has to go out and collect body parts from different encounters with different beasts (a rather gruesome plot point that is largely glossed over in the game itself).

Lori spends days playing, until she finally completes the Chimera.

but when she tries to give it power and finish the game, she gets a notification that reads: “Requires Blood Sacrifice.”

and she’s like, “okay, i guess i gotta do another quest!”

except she can’t find ANYTHING that will give her blood in the game.

she looks online, but because the game is so unknown by most people, she can’t find anything there either.

after a few days of confusion, she finally starts to put the pieces together.

but it can’t be…

what kind of game mechanic would that be?

how would that even work?

well…might as well see if it’s right…

so, Lori cuts her finger, drips a little blood onto the carousel, and…

and it works.

the Chimera’s creation is complete.

Lori is so freaked out that she shuts off the game.

the next day at work, she starts to feel really weird.

she notices that the corners of the store she works at are beginning to, like…bug out. you know how screens will distort and entire pixels will disappear? it’s like that, but…in real life.

when customers call out to her, they look pixelated. and text boxes appear in thin air to lay out what they’re saying.

naturally, she blacks out.

and when she wakes up, there’s a voice in her head. a voice that doesn’t belong to her.

he simply calls himself Al.

it’s later learned that Al was one of the creators of Carousel, but in one way or another, he was quite literally banished into the video game. and now that he’s free (or partially free), he NEVER wants to go back.

so, he requires a vessel.

and since Lori was so good at making a Chimera the first time, surely one more won’t hurt…

except this time, it’s not video game characters she’s having to cut up, but real, living people.

[thementalillnessstore]

weird

I feel weird.

I probably made you feel weird too when I texted you. Nine months of no contact and then bam, I’m back in your DMs telling you that you were on my mind. We’re both in college now but my loneliness makes me do weird shit like texting you.

I think I have an addiction to you. To texting you, to your voice in those voice memos, to having sex with you, to getting hurt and broken over and over and over again by you. That definitely feels kinda weird. I liked hearing about who you’re seeing and who you’ve made out with and how I don’t know them at all. I liked hearing about how you love taking the metro and how your school is full of entitled rich kids who pay nine hundred dollars for box seats at baseball games and how your friend-but-more got so drunk she had to go to the ER and how a pretty boy perked up when you got called out. Isn’t that so fucking weird?

I definitely have an illness. I mean, I know I have a couple, that’s why my psychiatrist put me on meds. I think I told you that, right? Well, if I didn’t, now you know. But I have some other sort of affliction, I think, that makes me think about you at night and reread our texts from a year ago where we made fun of your ex and talked about Phoebe Bridgers and Moses Sumney, and I invited you to my birthday party and when you said you couldn’t go because you misunderstood my text, I had a twenty four hour long mental breakdown and wanted to kill myself and was a zombie all day until you realized your fuckup and told me you could actually, in fact, attend while I was in the makeup department at Nordstrom and I couldn’t stop smiling or wanting to cry, because I knew how weird it was to be that upset over some guy I fucked a couple times.

I still check every story I post to see if you viewed it, and I still refresh my DMs to see if you texted me and Instagram just didn’t tell me. It does that sometimes. But it’s been over a week and your little DM slot says “Seen last week” and then I just get this weird angry-sad feeling where my heart seizes up and aches, and I want to throw my phone out my window. Just like last time, and the time before that too. I still think about how every story I post might be the one to make you remember I exist or how it will affect you, as if you’re doing anything more than just clicking aimlessly past.

I still think about how sometimes it feels like you’re the only person who’s ever been attracted to me or thought I was pretty or worth kissing or having sex with. I still get shocked when I realize that you’ve wanted to text me or see me naked, and then it makes me want to turn myself inside out so you can see my guts and what they really mean and how fucked up in the head I am sometimes (Holden Caulfield, eat your heart out). I still get so nervous that you think I’m weird or annoying or clingy. As if you even think anything about me anymore.

I’m so lonely. You’re the only person who has ever touched me and it’s been almost a year since the last time that happened, and now I feel like I don’t have any friends and I’m almost jealous that you get to go have fun and get high and have a bunch of friends while I sit alone in my room, listening to my sad playlist and writing about you at one in the morning on a Friday night. You told me to just put myself out there if I wanted casual sex and that made me feel so weird because I hate putting myself out there and I hate casual sex and I don’t know if I want to do it with anyone else. Which is weird because you were a blip and it’s not like we even really cared about each other. Right?

Weird is still being attached to a boy you kissed at sixteen. Weird is almost killing yourself because college is scary. Weird is realizing you don’t know where home is anymore. Weird is living vicariously through other people who are having way more fun than you. Weird is getting Kit-Kats every night. Weird is being chronically online. Weird is wearing a sweater in seventy five degree heat. Weird is always being there but never getting it in return. Weird is watching people fall apart at two in the morning. Weird is texting you on a Sunday night and then unsending the text.

I hate feeling weird.

[bloodpenned]

I personally really want more content after Kylar kidnaps you, that whole scene is just chef’s kiss, so... I guess you could call these headcanons for other interactions?

cw: implied noncon, forcefeeding, just max jealousy kylar being max jealousy kylar. fucked up.

Your marriage ring hangs on a necklace, instead of around your finger. Since your hands are still bound behind your back, neither of you would be able to see the reminder of your bond. They would release you, but... Kylar is honestly a bit worried that the drugs scrambled your brain, because all you’re doing is trying to hurt them when given the chance! You love them, so, clearly you’re not acting the way you normally would. Who knows, when left on your own devices, maybe you’d even hurt yourself? Really, they’re doing this for your own good. (And, while they won’t tell you as such, the thought that you can’t go anywhere is more comforting than any promise you could make.)

Staying in the same position for so long is hard on your limbs, though. They’ll get you out of the chair at the end of the day, laying you down on an old matress they dragged into the basement, and get to ‘massaging’ your limbs around your bounds. It’s painful every time. Your arms and legs are stiff from disuse, swollen from bad blood circulation and Kylar doesn’t actually know what they’re doing. They read some tips online and bought some oil, sure. But that doesn’t change the fact all they’re doing is rubbing circles onto your skin, over and over and over again. Without fail, they get excited touching you this much. Panting, face flushed, fingers trembling, cooing your praises when their lips aren’t fluttering over your skin. Their tongue laps up the drool that slips past your gag. There’s no reason for them to hold back anymore, is there? You’re theirs, bound by marriage as their dearest spouse, and completely at their mercy. Their promise of fucking you every day will hold true. 

They hate that they can’t stay with you always, but Kylar still has to go to school. If someone found them suspicious, there would be no one to take care of you. (And they still have their objective in mind, their goal of ruining everyone who has ever laid eyes upon you. Their hands itch for their knife.) Since boredom would drive you crazy otherwise, they put their laptop on a table in front of you, leaving you movies to watch in your favourite genre, or a playlist of youtubers you enjoy. Before leaving, they kiss you goodbye with an apology, telling you they’ll be back soon. Even if it’s for a few minutes, they’ll return to your side during lunch break to feed you. 

Speaking of food, they make sure each and every meal they make is handmade, and stuffed full of love. They’ll feed you every bite themselves. Kylar had been sure you two would end up living together one day or another, so they had already started practicing to cook in advance! It paid off, as they can make decent meals without a fuss. But if you refuse to eat as some kind of protest, the way their heart aches is the least of their worries. Their heart starts to pound. If you stop eating, you’ll just get weaker, and weaker, and weaker, and then you’ll- They’ll start with pleading, tears threatening to spill. That by hurting yourself like this, you’re killing them too. That all they’ve ever wanted is for you to be safe, for you to be able to love each other in peace. Their words come out choked.

They’re forcing you to eat, if they have to. After cutting the food in tiny pieces that won’t get lodged in your throat, they’ll squeeze your nose shut. All the while, they’re mumbling apologies under their breath. Whether you want to or not, after a bit, you’ll open your mouth on pure instinct. Kylar takes this chance to shove in a bite, and then force your jaw shut until you swallow. It takes ages before your meal is finished, and their nails leave crescents on your cheeks as your food gets saltier and saltier. For your health however, they’ll do it.

They sneak into the basement every night to sleep with you in their arms, to nuzzle their face into your hair. The fact their bed is much more comfortable barely crosses their mind. It’d be weird for a married couple not to share a room together, right? They’ll tell you stories of their day, soft murmurings that might have lulled you to sleep if it weren’t for their contents. 

Robin doesn’t leave for History class early anymore, instead wandering the halls asking everyone who’s around if they’ve seen any sign of you. A missing person poster hangs on their lemonade stand. Sydney mentions you in their prayers, wishing for your safety and coming to school late more often than ever. They perk up every time the library door opens, but it’s never the face they’re hoping to see. Hell, even Whitney took your name in their mouth once, commenting on how annoying it was for such a convenient slut to just dissapear. Someone else will now face the misfortune of making up for your lack of presence. 

In any other scenario, Kylar wouldn’t want to sully your thoughts with reminders of them. Now, however, they can smile against your skin as they pass on their observations, revelling in the knowledge they aren’t being suspected and the distress of people you used to know. Because they know they’ll never see you again.

[1kook]

kissanime & foreplay

this is part of my netflix & chill collection !

summary; You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans. warnings; mentions of hentai yes u read right, kook leads most of it, cunnilingus, masturbation (f), oral (f), use of a sex toy, fingering, nipple play, face sitting/fucking/riding idk (f), praise kink, hints of dumbification, cum eating, jk is like passive aggressive in this one, 4 (f) orgasms, this is the kicker: sub kook at the end😳, like 2 sec of dom yn lol, & u get 0.002 sec of adams apple kink misc; more dumb story lines, made up sex stores bc my creativity knows no bounds, Jungkook plays nice but is actually mean for the majority of it, once again doyeon plays a pivotal role in the furthering of women empowerment, internal love monologues about jk best boy<3 wc; 8.2k

notes; back when kissanime was offed I remember looking at this fic in the drafts like what the hell we gone do now.. n almost deleting it but I was like yknow what this isn’t a 1kook fic unless there’s smthn weird going on so here we are. also yes I know ohshc is on Netflix shut up!!!!! 

HAPPY BDAY MY LOVE AND MUSE JEON JUNGKOOK !!!! 🥺💜

—

The good thing about getting your own apartment is that you finally have a place to call your own. There’s no limit on how many potted plants you can squeeze into a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment, and if there was one, you’re twelve in and no one has said anything to you yet. You don’t have to share the shower space with anyone, label all your products with a hastily scribbled name. There’s a bathtub—something you haven’t had the pleasure of using during college—and a fairly open living space. There’s so many empty spots to fill with useless decorations and family heirlooms and that ugly plastic rooster Jungkook won you at the summer kick-off fair last month.

The bad thing about having your own place is that the entire world and their mothers seem to know now. Despite graduating from college, you still keep in touch with your trusted graduate mentor Kim Namjoon, who is still very much in school, and has made it his mission to bring you a new plant every week, hence your growing collection. Your childhood friend comes over every Saturday morning to lounge around after her Friday nights out. Jungkook, although the only one who is ever actually invited, runs through your strawberry scented body wash like a madman.

And of course, Doyeon.

Your beloved college roommate of four years, Kim Doyeon, has been the bane of your apartment experience so far. Unlike you, who had slaved away for four years, saving every penny you made during college for this moment, Doyeon was a big spender. She blew every dollar she ever came across, which is why she’s going to be stuck living at her parent’s house for at least a couple more years.

Nothing wrong with that, of course, if she wasn’t the most maniac online shopper in existence. It hadn’t been a problem in college because she was always good old pals with the students who worked the mailroom. If they saw something questionable, they’d let it slide as long as it was under Miss Kim Doyeon, Room 229.

The reason it became an issue for her now is because it’s poor Mrs. Kim who signs over the package from Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! one Tuesday afternoon as it is delivered to their suburban home.

So now she’s taken to ordering all her freaky stuff to your new apartment, where the small cabinet by the door has quickly become home to her impulsive shopping habits. Truthfully, you don’t mind accepting Doyeon’s weird packages, and have long since grown used to the uncomfortable looks the mail carrier gives you.

Jungkook’s supposed to come over today and you really hope he doesn’t ask about the state of your hall cabinet. Now that you work at a small company outside of your degree to make ends meet, time with Jungkook has been significantly decreased. You weren’t in college anymore, so you didn’t have the luxury of dropping by his house whenever you wanted to in between classes. Of course, it’s mostly your schedule that conflicts with your planned hangouts, because Jungkook is still working his dream job from home.

However, because Jungkook is quite possibly the most amazing person on this planet, he’s started coming over every Saturday night to make sure you’re still alive and not dying. And so weekly media binges are a thing, and it’s currently week four.

He gave up on showing you the Marvel movie franchise last week, after you had asked where Wonder Woman was three times in a row. Since the Barbie Movie Debacle of last month, you’ve found a nice medium between who picks when. Jungkook picks most of the time, because most of the time you don’t really care. It’s become a running joke between the two of you that movie binges are usually just terribly masked excuses to go to town on each other, so you don’t mind missing an entire 15th Century French Revolution documentary if it means Jungkook is deep in your guts by the time King Louis XIV gets beheaded or whatever they did to him. Is it too obvious you didn’t watch the documentary?

Occasionally, there are instances where one of you genuinely does want to watch something, in which case you have an intense match of rock-paper-scissors to decide who’s picking that night. Most of the time, Jungkook wins. But for every match Jungkook wins, he promises you’ll pick the next one so you’ve long since stopped trying to actually beat him.

Long story short, last weekend you sat through a two part Ancient Aliens episode on the connection between aliens and American presidents.

It was the most god-awful conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of, but Jungkook ate up every minute of it. By the time the two hosts announced their conclusion you were just about ready to rip your own ears off and single-handedly fist fight every producer on the channel for allowing the production of such an atrocious show.

Anyway, because you had so bravely sat through the entire evening without complaints— well, no complaints towards Jungkook’s terrible taste; the show, however, was not safe from your wicked tongue —Jungkook has so graciously allowed you to pick the media for this weekend.

You’ve been telling him for the longest time that you were going to hook him on anime. It was one of the few interests you always believed Jungkook should possess, being a weeb and all, because it was only fair that he had one questionable trait to balance out the rest of his perfection. Liking anime isn’t bad— if a hottie like you enjoyed it, then it obviously had its perks. However, you know a lot of other people are turned off by anime-enthusiasts due to preconceived notions of the genre and the viewer-base.

Now, it was a widely known fact that you always had ulterior motives. So maybe turning Jungkook into a weeb was just a ploy to turn other women off from him and keep your jealousy at bay. Sue you, your boyfriend was a walking wet dream, and you’d do anything to keep him to yourself.

After long deliberation, you’ve decided on introducing Jungkook to anime with a classic: Ouran High School Host Club, a god among anime, a true Beyonce among shoujos. The only problem was that you absolutely refused to pay Crunchyroll or Funimation when you could so easily find the entire show on KissAnime.com, home to only the finest of hentai ads and Are You a Robot? questions.

He sends you a text when he’s outside your building, and five minutes later there’s a rap against your door.

“Hi,” you smile up at him, heart fluttering in that same trademark way it did whenever Jungkook was within a five foot radius. He smiles back softly, leaning down to peck your lips as you step aside for him to enter. He’s got on those cotton sweats that you love, the ones that send your brain into a censored frenzy. But he’s also got that soft curl to his hair that lets you know he came here straight out of the shower in his hurry to see you. How you managed to bag a dream boyfriend like him was beyond you.

You bask in the overwhelming feeling of unannounced love for all of ten seconds before Jungkook is lifting up a square package you hadn’t seen at his hip. “Mailman gave me this,” he says, waving around the signature bright pink packaging of Sexuality Unleashed. Jungkook, for all his politeness and respect, seemed to falter in those categories when it came to you. He turns the box over, reading the big fat name of the company on the side. “Since when did you start buying sex toys?” he asks rather loudly in the hallway.

You yank him inside, hurriedly slamming the door shut before any of your neighbors can come out into the hallway and get a peek of this avid sex toy consumer. “They’re not mine!” you hiss, standing still when he uses you to balance himself as he tugs off his shoes. You snatch the box out of his hands, turning it around to make sure it is actually addressed to your home. Sure enough, it’s for you. Couldn’t there have been some other sex toy fanatic on this floor?

With his shoes off, Jungkook wastes no time enveloping you in a hug, the Sexuality Unleashed box tumbling to the ground. “It’s okay, baby, no need to be embarrassed.”

You groan, leaning your forehead against his shoulder as he continues to pat your back like you’re actually embarrassed to be caught buying toys— you’re not. You’re embarrassed he caught you with a sex toy you simply can’t put to use. “Whatever,” you sigh, “your gross popcorn is in my bedroom and it’s probably stale.”

He releases you, not before pulling you into a slow and languid kiss that has you clutching tightly at the front of his shirt. He pulls away with a soft smooch, right eye falling into a wink. “Bring the box, gorgeous,” he teases, before sauntering off in the direction of your bedroom.

You groan loudly. “It’s not mine!” you repeat, but for some reason do as he says.

Not only do you have no idea what’s in this package, but you’re frankly not too keen on finding out. You’re more interested in Jungkook’s reaction to one of your favorite animes of all time. The package is tossed onto the end of the bed, where Jungkook has already stripped himself of his socks and cuddled beneath your covers.

Your laptop has gone dark from inactivity so you slam down on the space bar to bring it back to life. Your first mistake was pressing anything at all. It flickers back on alright, but you forget that you are working with a minefield of ads ready to explode. You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans.

“What the hell is this?” he asks in a tone that screams he has never had to fight viruses off his computer just to watch something at two in the morning.

You ignore him, cuddling into his side as you hurriedly type in the title of the anime before another annoying ad can intercept you. “KissAnime,” you answer for now, accidentally clicking down on the mousepad with the heel of your palm. Another tab opens up to some sketchy credit site. You huff.

“Baby, I swear I just saw like twelve viruses,” he says. “And what even are these?” he scoffs, jabbing a finger at one of the many ads that lines the perimeter of the website. “Animated teacher porn?”

By the grace of god, you somehow manage to get onto the episode selection screen without having another tab open on you. You smile in relief, turning the power of your excitement onto Jungkook… only to find his eyes narrowed in on the square advertisement for some hentai website. “What? You wanna watch hentai now?” you snort, placing the laptop on his legs as you cuddle into his side.

Jungkook sputters, cheeks tinting red at the mere insinuation he would ever consume such media. “No,” he glares, releasing the arm around your shoulders to huffily cross them over his chest. “I am not going to watch anatomically incorrect illustrations of a woman teacher relieving herself, ___,” he says rather matter-of-factly.

You snort, repeating, “a woman teacher,” mockingly and in a high pitched voice that, honestly, doesn't sound anything like him. You click play on the video box that appears after only about twenty more pop-up ads. “Silence, you nymphomaniac, the episode is starting.” Jungkook pulls you close with a displeased expression, finally quieting down when you put it on full screen and the ads disappear from his view.

You’re beginning to wonder if Jungkook really is the script and plot dissector he claims to be, or if he just lives to get under your skin. He doesn’t make it three minutes without finding something to critique. First it’s the quality of the frames, and then it’s the characterization of the lead character. He nitpicks everything about the best anime in existence, and by the end of the first episode you’re considering breaking up with him.

“Oh my god,” you groan, tearing yourself away from him. He’s all laid up against your mountain of pillows, tongue prodding at the insides of his mouth in that ridiculously attractive habit of his. Usually, you’d be tripping over yourself to kiss him, but you’re about two seconds from ripping his head off. “I mean this in the nicest way possible, baby,” you sigh, picking up his hand in yours. “You gotta shut up.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I have to shut up?” he asks in a scandalized tone. “You sang through the entire intro, off tune may I add.”

At this rate you’re getting nowhere, so you just snatch the laptop back up before you actually hurt his feelings. You escape the full screen, met with those hentai ads that are slowly becoming the bane of Jungkook’s existence.

“Who actually watches those anyway?” he mumbles, covering the sidebar full of naked cartoon ladies with his palm for you, a real gentleman if you ever saw one. “Really?” he says, knocking his pointer finger against a particularly raunchy ad with the caption Be a Good Boy and Let her Play beneath it.

You snort. “You are such a baby,” you tease, pinching his cheek much to his annoyance. “What? Can’t handle seeing some anime titties?”

Jungkook shoves your hand away, leaning back to become one with the pillows as you continue onto the next episode. “They’re just weird,” he admits. “And make unrealistic faces.”

“Unrealistic,” you repeat, finally giving one of the ads the time of day. There’s an adorably drawn character making the most perverted expression, knees hiked up to her chest. Her face is twisted up, drooling like a dog and with her eyes crossed in ecstasy. You shrug. “Just because you can’t get those faces out of me doesn’t mean they’re unreal.”

The second the words leave your mouth Jungkook is letting out a scandalized scoff, sitting up to level you with another glare. “First of all, I can get you like that,” he defends, tapping his finger against the ad on screen. “In fact, I can get you like that without even trying, so let’s not say anything too drastic now, okay?”

His sudden bout of defensiveness makes something playful in you switch on, laying back down beside him with a smirk. “Oh, you can make me all stupid like this?”

Jungkook scoffs. “Yes.”

“Uh huh,” you drawl, tracing a finger up his chest teasingly; Jungkook knocks your knuckles away, obviously still butt hurt about your comment. That’s fine, because a slightly riled up Jungkook was always the best Jungkook. You sit up and lean in close, letting your hand slip beneath his hoodie, palm running over his bare shoulder and around the top of his back. You give his nape a light squeeze, lips pressed against the shell of his ear. “Why don’t you prove it to me, Jungkookie?” you purr, before pulling away.

His jaw twitches at the nickname, one shapely brow unconsciously arching as he regards you with a calculative expression.

The thing about Jungkook was that, after almost a year of dating, you know just how to push his buttons. He has a rather calm and collected exterior to him, the same one he’s had since the day you met him, but beneath it all was a childish competitiveness that raged with the heat of ten suns. He disliked being taunted like you were doing now, especially when his credibility was at stake.

Honestly speaking, you don’t doubt Jungkook can make you look as goofy and messy as those hentai ads. In fact you’re rather confident he can. Either way, him being right or you being right, you would still get some fun out of it.

“Hm?” you add, tracing your hand up to dance over the skin of his cheek, pads of your fingers running over that stiff jaw. “Are you scared I’m right and you’re wrong?”

A hand snaps up to catch your wrist, fingers tight around your skin until you’re shivering against him. “Oh baby, I can make you cum until you cry,” he murmurs, his usual sweet and lilting tone dropping to a low vibration that makes your pussy throb beneath your panties. Your heart leaps in your chest, lips falling open when he ducks down to brush them against yours. It’s too light, just a simple touch that makes you follow his mouth when he pulls back.

With one firm shove, the laptop is tumbling off the bed, thudding loudly against your bedside rug. Jungkook leans over you, his usual trademark doe eyes zeroed in on you with the focus of a laser. “Have a little faith in me,” he teases, and when he presses close you can feel his fattening cock flush against your thigh. Your body is begging to be touched, every brush of his fingers against your skin searing trails in their wake.

Suddenly, he’s drawing back. “Kook?” you frown, barely biting down on a childish whimper when he snuggles back into your mountain of pillows, one arm stretched behind his head.

He flashes you a smile. “Go on,” he says, arms behind his head. “Show me how to get you like that.”

“By myself?” you ask, shifting onto your knees anyway. Jungkook nods, a soft jut of his chin as he gives you another one of those easy going smiles of his. His goal seems a little unclear, but you had a ridiculous amount of trust in your boyfriend that whatever he had planned was certain to be good. With one final skeptical glance his way, you sink down onto your bum, knees spreading and giving him a clear view of your little pink boy shorts, elastic band hugging your waist.

The material of your t-shirt is guided away, held to your chest by the hand currently not traversing the length of your stomach, gliding across soft skin, over your belly button and past that band until it slips beneath. You chance another look Jungkook’s way, only to find his eyes wonderfully downcast in the direction of your core. That smile is gone now, replaced with a somber look as he watches your hand move mysteriously beneath the fabric of your undergarments.

The first brush of your forefinger against your swollen button makes you twitch, back arching at the sensation that is magnified by his watchful gaze. “Mmh,” you bite down, hand twisting in the material of your shirt. Jungkook’s eyes glare a molten path across your skin, from the comfy bra that peeks out from beneath your rumpled shirt to the wrist slowly working beneath your panties.

A hand falls over your thigh, tattooed fingers giving the skin a light squeeze as you get to work swirling your bud around. The sight of his inked skin on yours makes something warm blossom in your lower abdomen, your eyes following the inky swirls up, up, up. They lead you to the face of your very handsome boyfriend, long lashes fanning across his cheekbones as he watches you play with yourself. “Wanna take these off for me?” he says, the tip of his pointer finger wiggling beneath the fabric of your shorts.

You nod hurriedly, wiggling around on the bed until you’re on your back, legs bent in front of you. The shorts come down your legs; the simplest press of your thighs makes something quiver in your abdomen. You toss them off to the side, and just as you go to sit back up, Jungkook places a hand on your knee. “Stay like this for me,” he says, sitting up from his mountain of pillows to glance down at you. You melt into the plush mattress beneath you, staring down at him between your legs. He’s got that adoring look in his eyes, the one that makes you feel so warm and in love, it’s only natural your hand slips down to play with your bare clit again. “That’s my girl,” he smiles, rubbing a hand down the outside of your thigh, urging your legs to fall open.

There’s this overflowing vat of arousal that builds up inside of you everytime Jungkook is around, like the moment your eyes land on him you’re reminded of every position he’s ever had you in. You remember the soft brush of his hands on your body, the way his lips feel on yours, the soft tickle of his hair when he gets too close. It makes your heart lurch in your chest, like if you don’t grab onto him tightly this feeling will slip through your fingers and out of your life. So you were crazily in love with your boyfriend— now what?

A puckered set of lips meets the inside of your thigh, the action ripping you from your overly gooey, overly soft inner rambling. Your hand trails down your quivering pussy lips, collecting your dripping wetness as you go. At the same time, Jungkook kisses down the inside of your thigh, soft smacks of his lips against your skin filling the air with an emotion that makes you bite down a whimper. Your hole puckers at the brush of your fingers, anticipating an entrance that you yearn to give into soon.

His mouth is on you before your finger can go deeper than a centimeter in. But Jungkook doesn’t brush your hand off, doesn’t shove you away to prove his mouth was undoubtedly better. He places a kiss over your knuckles, before swallowing up your significantly smaller hand with his, that of which he clasps together over your navel.

You groan, head rolling from side to side. “Don’t be so soft with me,” you whine, leg twitching when he presses a kiss against your engorged bundle of nerves. “Push me around like that one time, you know I like it.”

Jungkook grins, mouthing over your clit with practiced ease that has you releasing all kinds of whimpers and sighs. He’s got his other hand wrapped around your thigh, strong arm pulling you closer to that devious mouth and tongue that lavished attention on your clit. “Need me to be mean to you, baby?” he purrs, curling his tongue in such a way that it makes your entire body tense up, muscles pulled tight. “Want me to push you around like the stupid little girl you are?” You moan, head bobbing up and down at the ideas he stuffs in your mind. As he moves down the length of your cunt, that round nose you love brushes against your bud, and the cheeky shit takes an obnoxiously loud sniff of it, a soft groan breathed against your lower lips. “But isn’t this better?” he hums, languidly molding his lips against your lower ones, much in the same way he does with the ones on your face; he moves slowly, slips his tongue in every few seconds before eventually diving in head on. “Slow... and so easy.”

“Kook,” you mewl, getting this overwhelming urge to cover your face with your hands. But you can’t, because he’s knotted one hand with yours and his fingers only tighten when you try to yank them apart. Instead you’re left pressing one knuckle against your mouth, brows pinching as he begins slowly fucking his tongue into your cunt. “F-Faster,” you beg. He, of course, ignores your plea.

The wet mass moves past the clenched muscles around your hole, nose brushing against your lips with every intrusion. Every few cycles he stops to press a kiss against your pussy, so hard and wet that it hurts when he pulls off. You’re left writhing and moaning, your heel knocking against his shoulder when he pushes your leg up closer to your chest. “It’s enough,” you cry, your entire body shivering.

Jungkook pulls off with a loud pop, lips glistening with your arousal. He’s got this glint on his eyes, like he’s thoroughly entertained by your reactions. He shuffles around to get comfortable, finally releasing that grip on your hand. Immediately, your newly freed hand jumps forward to tangle in the hair above his ear, tracing down the delicate curve of his cheekbone. Jungkook turns his head, pressing a soft peck against your open palm that makes your heartbeat thunder in your ears.

As he moves around, his leg bumps against something that has both of you pausing. It sounds out of place next to your shallow breaths, and both of you glance down only to catch sight of that stupid package from Sexuality Unleashed teetering on the edge of the bed.

The moment you see it, it’s like you’re transported into an omnipresent view of the scene, the next few hours flashing before your eyes as Jungkook snorts. You know he’s going to reach for it in two seconds, and you know he’s going to tear the hot pink packaging apart with his bare hands. He does so with a scary amount of power, the industrial tape not standing a chance against him. A box roughly the same size as the package falls out, and before you can kick it away and save yourself from suffering beneath Jungkook’s teasing antics, he’s snatching up the box.

“The Bullet Bestie,” he reads aloud, dark eyes flying across the text with lightning speed before that box is also being ripped open. (Briefly, there’s a voice in your head that thinks of Doyeon, but you’re not sure why.) Out tumbles a little pink bullet with a strap on one end that bounces against your thigh and an even smaller remote.

“Baby,” you rush out, the sight of the tiny toy making your heart thunder in your chest. “We can look at it another time,” you try, hands coming up to brush against his face again. “Why don’t you finish off here?” you ask, a sickeningly sweet politeness dripping off your tongue as the knot in your tummy fades into the background of his attention.

Jungkook ignores you, picking up the remote with a wondrous look in his eyes. Before you can try to persuade him back between your legs, a quiet click cuts you off and the little bullet whirls to life. You yelp at the sudden vibrations against the inside of your thigh, so close to your throbbing core. The jump of your thighs has it falling onto the mattress below you, wide eyes snapping back to the smirk that grows on his face.

“No,” you say slowly, sitting back up, “no, no,” you try, your usual assertiveness melting into a whiny cry as you try to wiggle away from him and the nefarious ideas infesting his lust-addled mind. You’re barely turning, ready to make a run for it and hand him his victory by forfeit, when Jungkook is catching you by the waist. Your hips get pulled up, arms clawing uselessly at the sheets beneath you as he drags you close to him. He’s fast, already having moved onto his knees behind you, and when he yanks you up, you can feel every hot plane of his body aligned with your backside. “Kook, please just make me cum,” you gasp.

There’s a smile pressed against your shoulder, lips still wet from before, kissing along the side of your neck. “Look at my girl,” he murmurs, and you nearly jump out of your skin when something smooth is traced along your thigh. One hand slips beneath the material of your shirt, soothingly rubbing circled against your skin. This hand also holds the tiny remote between two fingers, and every nerve in your body is on edge waiting for it to be used. “Where’s that smartmouth now?”

“Jungkook,” you try to warn. But there’s no bite to your words, only an anticipation that grows the closer he moves that damned toy between your thighs. “Baby, we-we can play another time, okay? Just please—“

A soft click, and suddenly your spine is giving out on you, upper body flopping forward as Jungkook runs the vibrations over your clit. Of course Jungkook follows, never letting you slip far from his reach. A loud moan spills from your lips, lower lip wobbling at the unreal amounts of pleasure he bestows upon you with such a small toy. “W-Wait,” you sob, the coil from before suddenly magnified tenfold. It makes your orgasm loom over you bigger than ever, a wave that threatens to spill over and drown you in one go. “No-please.”

His mouth presses against your ear, hot breaths fanning against the skin there. “Hey pretty girl, does it feel good?” he husks out, kissing just below your ear. “Aw fuck,” he groans, something stiff pressing against the cleft between your cheeks, “can’t even see if you’re making that stupid face right now.”

You are, but you don’t even have the words to tell him that. The moment the vibrator had made contact with your already ravished clit, your eyes had rolled into the back of your head. You don’t doubt you look like those silly ads you’d laughed at earlier, mouth opening and closing every few seconds as he circles the toy around your bud. You settle on a high-pitched whimper that has Jungkook laughing meanly against your ear.

It ends too soon, the stimulation from Jungkook eating you out for a few minutes combining with the bullet to form a powerful duo that swallows you whole. An embarrassingly loud moan rips itself from your throat, hands twisting in the sheets beneath you as it washes over you. It’s so powerful, it blinds you, pussy spasming. Jungkook’s name is repeated about a thousand times in between, your body eventually melting back into the mattress as the final shocks run through you.

The vibrator clicks off just as quietly as it turned on, your harsh breaths filling the room in its place. “Good girl,” Jungkook praises, raining down a parade of kisses against your shoulder. You mewl in appreciation, still awkwardly shoving your face into the mattress, and your hips in the air. From the corner of your eyes, you watch him set the glistening toy off to the side, and you’re just about ready to thank the heavens for such an experience with your boyfriend, when said boyfriend hits you with a curveball.

The gentle pecks against yours shoulder dissolve into harsh kisses, rough hands trailing up your waist. The t-shirt gathers around his knuckles, pushed and pushed until he’s got those same hands cupping your breasts. “Did you like that?” he asks, biting down against your shoulder; the sensation is dulled by your shirt being in the way but it still makes you whine. You moan softly, nodding against the mattress as he gets to kneading your breasts over your bra. “Mm,” Jungkook sighs, “my pretty girl was so good for me, wasn’t she?”

Those deft fingers run back down, crawl beneath the elastic of your lounge bra and push it away until your breasts are bouncing out of their cage. “Kook,” you sigh, eyes fluttering shut as he traces circles around your nipples. “W-Wait,” you whimper, suddenly reminded of the swollen cock pressed against your backside when he leans closer.

“Shhh,” he soothes, tweaking your nipples. “Relax for me, sweetheart,” he coos, flicking your hardened nipples with his fingers. You can’t relax, not with your body still so sensitive and him playing with you. Still, the low intonation makes something soft and warm settle in your chest, the kisses against your jaw making your eyes fall shut. “That’s it,” he says, giving one nipple a playful twist that draws a high-pitched moan from you.

Just as you’re beginning to fall into the rhythm of Jungkook’s caresses and voice, he releases one breast to traverse his hand down and over your tummy, to your sensitive pussy. You gasp, biting down on your lip as he teasingly flicks your clit with his fingers. “Bet you could come again now,” he murmurs, taking the tip of your earlobe into his mouth and nibbling softly. You groan, shoving your face into the sheets as if that will save you from your doom. “Bet your pretty little pussy can cream itself just like this, isn’t that right, sweet girl?”

You whimper, hips bucking back against him when he begins nudging your bud, lewd sounds reaching your ears. His other hand remains on your breast, no longer toying with your nipple but simply holding it almost comfortingly. There’s a smirk pressed against your skin, that pearly white smile you usually adore so much teasing you as he circles your nub.

“Come on,” he encourages quietly, kissing up the column of your neck again. You moan, thighs quivering as he strokes a second orgasm out of you with no struggle. Your eyes and throat burn at the heat that washes over you, and you release a hoarse scream into the mattress— Jungkook chuckles at the sound, egging you on with that low voice until your muscles go limp a second time.

When he rolls you onto your stomach again, you try desperately to cover the tears that blur your vision, turning away from him like a child when he tries to look. “Crybaby, crybaby,” he sings teasingly, prying your hands away to capture your mouth with his for the first time that night. “Lemme see those tears, baby,” he purrs.

He tastes like you, tongue dripping with that sweet tang of your pussy, and he smells like you too. It strokes the flames of you ego, arms eventually wrapping around his shoulders as he settles above you. He pulls off with a curl of his tongue against your swollen lips, brown eyes lazily staring down at you. It’s embarrassing how well kept he still was compared to your half-nude state of dress. His skin is all glowy and pretty, not a single tear track in sight, and his grin is still too relaxed for your liking.

Jungkook’s body feels so warm and comforting against yours, muscles keeping the heat trapped between your bodies. You go to brush a hand through his hair, needing to feel the familiarity of those silky locks, before he’s suddenly leaning away. He shuffles onto his knees again, glancing down at your thoroughly abused cunt with a quirk in his brows.

“God,” you groan, knocking your foot against his side. “Just fuck me already,” you huff despite your earlier fatigue. You could only go so long without feeling Jungkook’s fat demon cock inside of you.

He snorts at your snappy tone, cutely tilting his head to the side to move his hair out of his face. His jaw looks sharp from this angle, facial features covered in shadows the lamplight behind him can’t touch. “Can’t,” he announces, and you could pull your hair out from all this unnecessary build up.

Truth to be told, you and Jungkook were both equally as unrestrained when it came to each other. Most of the time, the lead up to actual, penetrative, key-in-lock sex included a couple minutes of heavy petting from his end, and maybe a half assed handjob from you. Sometimes if you felt extra attentive, he’d eat you out and you'd him off. But for the most part, the two of you jumped straight into it after an orgasm, like horny teenagers despite the two of you being twenty-three now.

The most adventurous you’d ever gotten up until the point was maybe two orgasms bestowed upon you by a crazed Jungkook. And, well. You had hit two orgasms now. You were ready for his monster cock.

“Kook,” you whine childishly.

Jungkook shakes you off, placing a palm on both your knees. Slowly, he spreads your thighs apart again, eyes zeroed in on the glossy folds that come into view, the sparkling pearly cum that leaks out of your hole. “I can’t, baby,” he says, almost pained. “I gotta clean you up first,” he insists, and before you can tell him how counterproductive it is to lick you clean of your arousal before fucking you, he’s diving face first into your cunt.

But the biggest surprise doesn’t come from Jungkook going in for thirds, but from the hands he clasps around your thighs, the sheer strength he uses to roll you over (ignoring the shriek you let out) to sit you on his face. “No, no,” you yelp immediately, “I-I‘ll break you,” you cry, trying to escape from his hold.

From beneath your thighs, dark eyes peering up at you daringly, you can see the clear warning on Jungkook’s face. It’s a look that loudly says don’t you dare fucking move, shapely brows sending a jolt of genuine fear down your spine for a moment. “Jungkook,” you fret, trying to ignore the arousal that only continues to blossom as his tongue laps against your folds for the second time that night. “I’m, I’m,” you stammer, hands burying themselves in his hair as he ignores your cries. “I’ll break you,” you try again, spine arching when he slurps your clit into his mouth. “I-I’ll—“

He pulls off with a pop. “Fuck my face, baby,” he says, as if he hadn’t heard a single of your concerns at all. His nose nudges against your clit, a whimper catching in your throat. Briefly, his hand disappears from around your thigh, and when it returns, that tiny bullet vibrator from earlier is pressed against your thigh. “You got that?”

You nod, internally torn apart by your fear of crushing him and your need to drag your cunt all over your boyfriend’s handsome face. You glance down at him, watch him slip that vibrator into his mouth for just a second and lewdly coat it in his saliva, before he’s reaching around to shove it past your pussy lips. They’re still swollen and puffy, but have long since relaxed enough for him to slip it in. “B-But what if—“

“You won’t,” he cuts off, readjusting himself closer to your cunt again, “come on, pretty girl.”

The reason you think you and Jungkook click so well was because he was able to bring that vulnerable side out of you every now and then. He knew you liked to parade around with that huge superiority complex, and he loved it. But he also knew there were things you liked and disliked, and sometimes it took a little pushing for you to reveal them.

For a second, that horny cloud over his irises lifts, and he gives you one of those cute, sloppy winks as he taps your thigh gently. “Fuck my face, sweetheart,” he whispers, “drag that pretty cunt all over me until I can’t breathe.” A gasp catches in your throat, hands unconsciously curling against his scalp. He notices, and flashes you a lazy smirk. “You can do that, can’t you?”

Something akin to adoration blooms in your chest, and before you can blurt out something embarrassing—like I love you—there’s a soft click that has The Bullet Bestie revving up inside of you. You gasp, the sudden vibrations deep inside your pussy making your hips snap forward, clit rubbing against Jungkook’s nose.

“O-Oh,” you cry, and that’s all it takes for you to lose it. Your hips start off slow, at first just savoring the wet drag of his tongue against your lips, his nose against your clit. He sticks his tongue out for you, and part of you wants to tell him he’s a good boy, that corny hentai ad flashing in your mind, but you doubt you’ll survive the aftermath of that. Once you find that perfect pace, your hands are practically yanking at his hair, pushing him further into the mattress as you ride his face like he’s nothing but a toy. “Kook, Jungkook,” you pant, grinding your lower lips against his all too eager mouth.

It feels oddly weird being over him like this, using him like this. You like to think you and Jungkook have equal power in the bedroom, but you will admit that more often than not, he assumes control by default. You’re not particularly bothered by that, because you doubt you’d ever come up with the crazy ideas Jungkook did when he was horny (okay, a lie, because you definitely have thought of crazy sex schemes before).

But, this moment…

The power was quickly going to your head. “Fuck,” you sob, roughly dragging the length of your pussy over and over his face. The hands around your thighs are pressing against your skin with a strength that would hurt were you not blinded by arousal. His eyes are shut, lids fluttering open every now and then as he watches you buck wildly over his face like he was a pillow in high school and your parents were gone for the weekend.

It doesn’t help that the rhythmic pulses of the vibrator inside of you are doing their job well, the tongue that slips into your pussy joining together to form a powerful combination. It’s ultimately what has you halting your manic thrusts, instead falling into a slow grind over him. Your hips circle, eyes squeezed shut as you lose yourself in the lapping of his tongue against your dripping hole. “Mmmf,” you mewl, biting down on your lower lip as the wet muscle prods against a delicate spot within you. You hear feels light, view of the gorgeous man beneath you obstructed by the eyelids that can't seem to stay open. “N-No,” you cry, pulling his hair more roughly than you intended to in order to redirect him. “There, there,” you whimper, holding him tight against your pussy.

Beneath you, Jungkook exhales harshly against your lips, hands moving frantically over your thighs as he works his tongue inside of you alongside the bullet vibrator. If you weren’t so caught up in your own pleasure, all kinds of sounds spilling from your lips, you would have heard the quiet moans that fall from his. Alas.

It takes a few more pulses from the toy and a few more licks from Jungkook until you’re coming for the third time that night, features twisting up as your pussy clenches around his tongue before spilling down his mouth. Your back arches, a defeated moan escaping you as you release the same mess he’d claimed to clean up onto his lovely face. You can barely breathe afterwards, mouth dry and head dizzy when Jungkook finally pops back out from between your thighs. You barely have enough time to lift yourself up, pussy lightly brushing across his Adam’s apple as you stop yourself from crushing his windpipe. It makes you twitch.

“Good girl,” Jungkook praises with a cheeky smile that distracts you from the bullet toy he retrieves from your quivering cunt. His face is absolutely glistening from your arousal, skin warm and flush. He’s looking up at you like you’re some mythical goddess and he’s but a humble villager coming to pay his respects at the temple that is your body. Fuck, were you okay? You don’t think you’ve ever felt this good in your entire life, and Jungkook’s mushy gaze was doing things to your heart.

He presses a kiss against the inside of your thigh before helping you off of him, laughing meanly when you flop limply down beside him. He’s still fully clothed, a fact that irks you when he leans over to kiss you with that glossy face of his. “D’you like it?” he mumbles, kissing softly down your face. You nod, legs twitching from the aftermath of that wild ride. “I saw it, y’know,” he says suddenly.

“Saw what?” you mumble, mindlessly rolling your head to the side and exposing more skin when he begins kissing along your neck.

Jungkook says nothing, just rolls over you. Part of you thinks he’s crazy, but you’re suddenly hit with the realization that while Jungkook’s drawn three orgasms out of you in the course of an hour, you hadn’t done anything for him. Before you can dive head first into swallowing his cock, he’s kissing you softly. “That stupid face,” he smirks, slotting his mouth against yours. “That weird, now realistic face,” he tacks on.

You huff out a laugh, throwing your leg around his waist comfortably. Jungkook smiles, kisses you one last time before settling in your arms, face cutely pressed in between your boobs. “Hey,” you call, “don't you wanna cum too?”

He shakes his head, a soft sigh filling the air. “Nah,” he says, cuddles closer into you. “Rest now, baby.”

You roll your eyes. “I can feel your dick against my thigh,” you point out, wiggling your pelvis upward to brush against his throbbing erection. Jungkook holds you down in an effort to stop you. “Fuck me.”

He groans against your collarbone. “No, you’re tired,” he tries to convince you, but his skin is warm and flushed in the way it always gets when he’s riled up. “Sleep.”

With the leg around his hip, you pull him closer. “Fuck me, Jungkookie,” you purr, using the hands in his hair to turn his face up towards yours. His dark eyes are drawn down cutely, pouty lips too. “Use my body,” you suggest, “I’m yours anyway.”

His eyes flutter shut, a quiet whimper falling from his lips. “Don’t say that,” he sighs, “makes me wanna do very mean things to you.”

You smile. “You can do whatever you want to me, don’t you know that?” Another groan, his head falling forward until he’s hiding in your neck. Still, there’s movement from below, he sweats slipping down at his hips until that throbbing cock is pressed into the tiny crease where your thigh meets your pelvis. There’s a moment of hesitation, and you wonder if this is what he felt like earlier when he’d managed to get you to sit on his face. “Inside, Jungkookie,” you murmur, reaching down to line him up with your sensitive entrance. He whines softly, arms wrapping around you as he pulls you close. “Good boy.”

Despite your earlier belief that you’d never survive an encounter with Jungkook after using such a term on him, the result is much different from what you had anticipated. He visibly melts into your arms, cock slipping past your folds easily. “No,” he says, his voice feathery and whiny against your ear. “I can’t.”

You soothe a hand down his back, eyes fluttering shut as he begins slowly rutting against your swollen lips. “That’s it,” you encourage, tugging softly at his wavy hair. Jungkook moans wantonly against your neck, rolling his hips harshly against you until his arms are the only things keeping you from jostling out of his hold. “Do you like this pussy?” you ask, purposefully clenching around him, tummy tightening at the stimulation you keep packing on.

Jungkook shudders, pace growing slipping inside of you. “Yes,” he pants, “s-so wet… creamy.”

“Yeah?” you huff, pressing a smiley kiss against his forehead. “It’s yours.”

“Ffffuck,” Jungkook chokes, picking up his pace as his well-deserved orgasm reaches its peak. He’s breathing harshly now, and it’s taking everything in you to keep your pussy tight around him. But after the night he’d given you, the sounds and faces he pulled from you, it’s the least you can do. Besides, your body, after being so thoroughly pleased, still rears up for one final orgasm with him. “Mine,” he growls, bucking his hips into you. “You’re mine, baby, mine,” he seethes, ending his little tryst with a piston of his hips that makes you gasp, body almost unconsciously spasming around him. It’s painful, but so, so delicious how he manages to pull this last orgasm from you as he finally busts inside of you.

He comes with a stuttering garble of words, none of which you catch as he collapses into your hold for the final time that night. “Fuck,” he pants afterwards, leaning into your touch when he finally registers the soft combing of fingers through his hair. “That was evil.”

You laugh, pulling him closer. “As evil as you making me suffer through three orgasms before putting your dick in me?” you tease. Jungkook slips out of you, and you know it’ll be a hassle to clean your sheets tomorrow but it’s worth it.

“It’s called building the scene,” he weakly defends, blindly tugging the puffy blanket over the two of you. “I was gonna rhyme it with that horrible website you made me use but I already forgot it’s name.”

“Rude,” you snap, “it’s called KissAnime.”

“And fore-play,” he suddenly says, and you almost yank his eyeballs out of their sockets for doing that stupid thing again.

—

epilogue 

Two weeks later, your favorite website and home to hentai ads is shut down after years of piracy. Jungkook laughs at your demise, sits and actually cackles at your heartbreak, until he eventually comforts you with his flaming demon cock and a subscription to both Crunchyroll and Funimation. Doyeon spends weeks tracking down a missing package, apparently some freebie she’d gotten for being such an avid customer on Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! before eventually finding it in your drawer. And because her and Jungkook have some awkward life-long rivalry for your attention, he doesn’t pay for that. 

—

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[slow-burn-sally]

okay the last one for now: awkward Childerstrange kiss.

John doesn't usually do online dating. He's not good at putting on the thick veneer of total bullshit so many people adopt in order to make others like them and find them fuckable. John Childermass has never particularly cared whether anyone likes him or not, and has never had any trouble in the people-finding-him-fuckable department either.

After a painful breakup with a total narcissist who'd cheated on him, then seven long months spent drinking a bit too much and crying very silently in the middle of the night so no one would see it and bother him about it, he decides that maybe going out with some random bloke from grindr might not be such a bad idea.

He sees the message come in from "Jonathan". Why do people like being called Jonathan? So many syllables. So much work. John clicks on the man's profile and sees a weird-hot guy with wild, curly black hair and piercing blue eyes looking back at him.

Then his gaze drifts lower to the list of personal preferences, likes and dislikes, and he groans inwardly.

A magician? Really?

Who the fuck admits to being a magician on a website? It's so... corny. Or rather, people love seeing magicians perform live (if the magician is good), but if they're not, it gets corny fast.

He looks back up at the man's photo and notes the sexy stranger’s screen name. Jonathan Strange.

John rolls his eyes at the clearly made up handle. The message though, once he reads it, is surprisingly open and honest. 

“Hi, 

I have to admit I was at first drawn in by your photos, but learning that you’re also a leather worker, a mechanic and a part time artist? You sound like you’d be a good conversationalist. Over coffee perhaps? I’m just getting out there again after the death of a spouse two years ago, so I’m not looking for the love of my life. Maybe just someone to have fun with. 

Let me know if you’re interested. 

Cheers

- Jonathan.���

John messages him that he is indeed interested, and, preparing himself for the worst, possibly dullest night of his life, he heads to Perks Coffee Co. on the corner across from his building to meet the mysterious Jonathan Strange.

Surprisingly, they have a nice time. Strange (it really is his legal surname! and John adopts it as a nickname immediately, because how can you not?) is a touch arrogant. Bragging about his career as yes, an actual magician. He’s a good one though. He specializes in slight of hand and tricks of the eye that are so streamlined and subtle, that people mistake it for real magic, as nothing else could explain why a shower of gold coins appeared to rain down from above their heads, nor how what they’d assumed had been a fake raven had suddenly taken flight from Strange’s hand in a flurry of black feathers. He’s so good in fact that he’s had to fend off a couple of law suits surrounding claims that he drugs his audience in order to make them hallucinate, for there is no other explanation for the wildness of his act.

Strange assures John that it is little more than a relentlessly obsessive compulsive mind and thousands upon thousands of hours of practice that allow him to do what he does, and reassures John with a cocky smirk that he can’t actually do real, old school wizard magic. He’s just a man, not a sorcerer.

His arrogance would be a red flag for John if the man weren’t so obviously using it to mask a great deal of grief. John can see it radiate off of him in waves when he’s not speaking. His eyes, merry and sparkling like Caribbean waters one second, then when he looks down into his coffee, his face takes on shadows of pain. 

“Tell me something about you that you don’t normally tell blokes on dates,” Strange asks, and John is pleasantly surprised by his question. 

“Oh, well, I like old books,” he admits with a shrug. He’s leaning against the wall next to the coffee counter, looking at Johnathan Strange through the curtain of his long, undone hair. It’s a tactic he often employs when he wants to stay half hidden before letting people get to know him. “I used to work for a book dealer and he taught me a lot about old books.”

“That’s a wonderful thing to be interested in!” Strange exclaims, smiling. He’s got a pretty smile. 

A conversation ensues about John’s favorite old books, and how he’d even begun dipping his toes in restoration. 

“How did your wife die?” John asks, thought he tries to do it gently. He often loses touch of what is and is not appropriate conversation on first dates. 

“Cancer,” Strange replies, his face taking on that sad look again. 

“I’m sorry. That must have been rough,” John says. 

“It was. I’m still not really OK about it,” Strange says, which is very honest really, when you’re trying to get in some bloke’s pants. John likes that, that Strange is open about his emotional struggles. It makes him seem more genuine. Strange’s sadness also moves him in a way he’s surprised by. He’s never had a life partner before, choosing to live as an eternal bachelor. It’s easier on his wallet and his mental health. But to imagine falling in love with someone, sharing a life with them, and then losing them. That must be a mind fuck and a half. 

“Do you want to come over for a drink?” he asks, for he suddenly realizes he wants to do things to Strange to make him forget his grief... to help him relax, and those things might not be appreciated were he to do them here at the coffee shop. 

“Oh, I... yes, yes, I’d love to,” Strange’s face transforms into a slightly loopy smile. His teeth are a little bucked in the front and John finds that he likes that. It mars the perfection of Strange’s cocky, man about town persona, and makes him a bit relatably goofy looking. Which is hot. 

“Excellent. Well then, allow me to buy you a coffee and we can get out of here.” 

John pays and they both leave, walking the sixty or so some-odd feet to the door of John’s second storey flat. John lets them in and they climb the stairs in silence. John wonders if Strange is eyeing his arse from behind as the man follows him up. 

they reach John’s flat, and John gives Strange the grand tour, which takes approximately 20 seconds as the flat is tiny. They end at the bedroom of course. It’s a classic maneuver, one that’s quite easy to see through. Strange looks knowingly at the well made futon in the small side room John uses as a bedroom and smiles. He turns to look at John. They’re both standing in the bedroom doorway, each with one hand on the frame, the other hand hanging by their sides near each other. They lock eyes for a moment, then both move at the same time, closing in for a kiss. 

Only, there’s a mix up somewhere. Strange reaches out with his hand, just as John reaches out with his, and their hands collide, this causes John to yelp in discomfort and jerk his head back a little, which causes Strange to miss his lips entirely and smear a wet kiss mark across the top of John’s cheek. 

An awkward silence ensues, then Strange smirks, John grunts, and then they’re both laughing. Bending over double with their sides held, laughing at the silliness of modern day seduction and all of it’s ridiculous glory. 

As the giggles and guffaws slow and putter out, they end up looking at each other again. John watches, a little breathless from laughing, as Strange’s eyes drift down to rest on John’s lips. 

This time, it’s not nearly as awkward. There’s no knocking of limbs or missing of lips. John steps up, loops an arm around Strange’s waist, and brings their mouths together. Strange lets all the air in his lungs out through his nose, and that warm breath brushes against John’s cheek. He teases a little at Strange’s lips with the tip of his tongue and then Strange opens his mouth and shares that wet heat with John in a very explicit sort of kiss. 

By the end of two weeks, they’re properly dating. Meeting for dinner after work, shagging desperately at one of their flats, or spending long hours on the phone, talking about everything and anything. 

Looking back, John can’t believe he’d planned on keeping Strange at arm’s length. He can’t believe he’d thought of himself as incapable of falling in love again, as he’s fairly certain he’s currently half out of his mind in love. Most of all, he can’t fathom why he’d thought the name Jonathan was too long and had too many syllables. It sounds far far better when he cries it out softly in bed. 

[maybege]

Work Song

Summary: You meet once again.

Pairing: hot dad!Boba Fett x fem!Reader

Wordcount: 4.2k

Rating: E (18+ only!)

Warnings: explicit sexual content, dom/sub relationship, use of sex toys, dirty talk, consensual degradation and namecalling, multiple orgasms, double penetration, oral sex (m receiving), come play, sexting

When I was pondering which to post (bodyguard!Paz ord hot dad!Boba), I figured: why not both? So tonight I am serving you some delicious hot dad!Boba smut and tomorrow or Tuesday evening you will get the next part of The One! I am really excited to share this with you and as always, feedback is greatly appreciated and I hope you enjoy it!

masterlist | crossposted on AO3

Work was boring.

Or rather, it wasn’t boring but your thoughts kept drifting to much more exciting prospects. Like the next meeting at the motel.

Boba had messaged you that he had gotten scheduled for the midnight calls almost all through the next month and had suggested you meet on Fridays instead. But since Fridays were your yoga course days, and the only real opportunity for you to go out and meet new people and potential friends, that was not an option either. And so, you had remained on Saturdays - even if it meant he wouldn’t get to stay the night.

Even over the phone, you could see the reluctance he had to agree to it. (“I’d prefer if I could buy you breakfast the way I buy you dinner,” had been his exact words to which you had only smiled.)

So now it was Thursday, almost the end of the week, and you could not wait to get back home, to get to the end of the week and into the motel and, most importantly, to Boba.

With a groan, you let your head onto your desk in your cubicle. All around you, you could hear the tapping of the keyboards, people talking, phones ringing, the alarm of the printer going off when there was – once again – not enough paper there. Even sitting at your desk among a sea of people you never felt so alone.

“What are you thinking?” Nat, chewing a piece of gum, popped up on the wall of your cubicle, resting her chin in her hands. You flinched in surprise, looking up at her cheerful face. “Dreaming of mystery man from the bar again?”

If only she knew.

You smiled, “I, uh, I was just checking over these numbers again, I think I might have to start from scratch and ask marketing for the raw numbers.”

Nat popped her gum, clearly disappointed that you did not seem to share any details. “Well, Marketing really needs to get their shit together,” she grumbled, “I had to ask them for the full numbers – twice! – last week. can you believe that? Twice!”

“Now that I have them in front of me, it’s not that hard to believe,” you grinned, leaning back in your chair and looking up at her, “But that is not why you came to talk is it?”

“Well,” she sighed dramatically, sending you a wink, “Since you don’t let me live through your love life – you want to come for drinks this Saturday? Me and the girls want to check out a new restaurant in town, I’m sure you’ll like it.”

“I’d love to but I already have plans,” you declined, your heart skipping a beat at the thought of whom you had plans with, “Maybe next time?”

For a minute, you were afraid that maybe she would be suspicious. That maybe she would keep asking you about Boba and you would have to dodge your questions.

But thankfully, Nat seemed to have completely forgotten all about your love life.

“Sure!” she perked up, throwing a look towards the kitchen, “Wanna do lunch together? I’m starving.”

You nodded, smiling when you heard her basically skipping her way to the kitchen from her cubicle. Grabbing your phone, you went to follow her.

*

Nat kept talking about one thing or another, completely oblivious to the internal fight you were just hashing out in your head.

Never had your phone looked more menacing.

You did not know when or how exactly but somewhere in the two minutes it had taken to microwave your food, a tiny little thought had manifested itself in your mind.

Boba had asked for your wishes the last time and you had been too nervous to think about them. But surely, with the safety of a screen between you, you would be able to articulate at least some of them?

Then again, would he even want that? After all, it was not Saturday and maybe he did not want to have that kind of contact out of your agreed meeting hours?

You tapped your fingernails on the table top before deciding to just fuck it.

You: I want you to fuck my mouth.

There. It was sent. It was done. You had half a mind to switch your phone off and never look at it again, you felt that embarrassed. But before you could do so you saw how the read notification popped up and now it was like a car crash you couldn’t look away from. Boba had seen it. It was too late now. Shit, what had you done?

Boba: So princess has some dirty wishes after all.

Boba: Any more things you want to try out?

You huffed out a laugh, shaking your head towards Nat who looked at you questioningly. “My friend just sent me something funny,” you waved off while making sure no one would be able to get a look on your phone screen.

Toys. you typed out, I’ve never got to try any and I want to try them all. Want you to use them on me.

Now I’m thinking about getting you a dildo, little one. Maybe even two. One for that tight little kissy and the other to train your mouth.

The implication made you clench your thighs and you took a deep breath, hoping no one would notice how you were almost squirming in your seat.

Lunch forgotten, your eyes were fixed on your phone as the three dots kept moving on the screen. You weren’t really sure if this counted as texting per se but you had never been this explicit with someone over texts and your heart skipped a beat as the next message appeared.

Boba: Does that turn you on?

You: Yes.

Boba: Where are you?

You: On my lunch break. Why?

Boba: Because if you’d been home I’m this close to take a half-day and fuck you silly in your own bed.

You shuddered, your thighs clenching.

I’m this close to going home sick if that’s what awaits me.

The read notification popped up but you saw how he wasn’t online anymore and frowned. You tried to avoid your thoughts of how maybe you had been too forward or too awkward or maybe he thought you were weird now for being willing to go home in the middle of the workday just to get in bed with him. But the truth was you were.

Work was boring today and while you appreciated Nat’s attempts to get talking, you didn’t really feel in the mood to talk. Besides, you knew she was just out to get more info about the bar mystery man as she called him and even though you liked her you really didn’t want to talk about Boba to anyone. So yeah, the thought of being able to go home and be able to feel Boba against you instead of going through the different numbers sounded like heaven to you.

Reluctantly, you got back to your pasta salad, aware that you only had a few minutes on your break left and trying to not spend them checking your phone constantly. How much more pathetic could you be?

“Ready?” Nat asked suddenly beside you as her friends got their dishes into the dishwasher and you nodded with a smile.

“Although when is one ever ready for work?” she asked, faking a British accent and you grinned, pocketing your phone in the pocket of your dress.

“Never,” you replied, “one can just hope it’ll be over soon.”

The dark-haired women turned to you with a conspiratory grin before twirling into her cubicle, leaving you alone to go back to your desk. You stood at the entrance of your cubicle for a moment, eyes roaming over the papers on your desk, ruined with your scribbling as you tried to decipher whatever numbers marketing had sent you.

You rubbed your hand over your face, forcing yourself to smile with the hopes that it would release endorphins or some shit. You could do this. There was no need to feel overwhelmed by this. What would be the first step to make this better?

Typing the email to Brenda from Marketing should not have been as hard as it was. But your mind was swirling with trying to find the right balance between polite and insistent because you could not afford to lose any more hours of work over something that simply could not be worked with.

Just as you were ready to give up, your phone pinged.

Boba: Sorry, business call. But believe me, little one, I can’t wait until this weekend. Would you be okay with me buying some toys for you?

You smiled, answer already ready.

*

“Shit, little one, you looked so good like that. You like that?”

You gasped for breath, eagerly nodding. A thin layer of sweat had built all over your body as you knelt on the end of the bed. You were so intoxicated by these feelings, by him, it felt like everything was on fire, getting ready to burst.

As soon as he had arrived – you being the first in the room this time around – he had framed your face in his hands and kissed you until you both been breathless. And then he had shown you the toys.

That was how you had ended up here, on the bed, completely naked, moving yourself on one of the dildos he had brought for you.

“Look at you, such a good girl for me, hm?” Boba murmured, his hands moving once again and you choked, tears stinging in your eyes from the effort of trying to relax your throat and keeping your hands behind your back as he had instructed.

Boba had not just brought one toy. He had brought two. And you while you were fucking yourself on one, thighs shaking with the effort, Boba had pushed the other down your mouth. “To train you to take me,” he had rumbled with a glint in his eyes.

A particularly hard thrust down your throat forced you lower on the shaft between your legs and you moaned, tears of pleasure and despair pricking your eyes. He was still completely closed, looking as dominant as ever and you could feel your clit and y our nipples aching wanting to be touched and played with.

You whined, drool slipping down your chin and Boba showed mercy, slowly pulling the toys away from your mouth. “What is it, little one?” he asked, “What’s got you all teary-eyed, hm ?”

“My – my nipples are so sensitive,” you pleaded with him, “Please, please touch them, Boba.”

He grinned darkly, running the tip of the dildo over your wet lips. “So, touch them.”

You shook your head as best as you could, wanting to remind him of the one rule he had set for you but then he pushed the toys back into your mouth. Your back arched as you leant forwards, humming when the dildo shifted inside you and even more so when your chest brushed against the rough material of his shirt.

It was like little pricks of pleasure coursed through you.

Boba looked down at you, the blue dildo still in his hand and you felt heat seep into your cheeks. From shame? Maybe. But all you felt arousal as you saw the admiration in hid ryes.

“How desperate you look,” he mused, his fingers holding your chin, “How pretty. Just for me.”

“Yes,” you gasped, mouth falling open as you sank down on the toys again, your nipples brushing over the harsh fabric, “J-just for you.”

“My pretty little fucktoy,” he smiled, leaning down and kissing you open-mouthed. You gasped into him, pleasure overtaking you and when his hand wandered down to your right nipple, pinching and pulling it sharply, you came. Everything in your body tightening before it felt like you were bursting at the seams, the sudden wave of pleasure making you whimper.

Where you had been so precariously balanced on top of the dildo, now you lost your balance, completely falling against him but Boba was there to catch you.

“Good girl,” he mumbled, his hand still squeezing your tit, “Think you have another round in you?”

Your eyes fell to the very obvious bulge in his pants and you nodded eagerly. Even with your legs still trembling from your orgasm, you were already carving more. More of this, more of him and the pleasure he could give you.

With calloused fingers gently wrapped around your forearm, he helped you up.

You followed willingly, letting him turn around until you were facing the bed, sheets messy where you had kneeled.

“I’m going to let you choose, little one,” he murmured into your ear, his warm body pressed against your back. You could hardly concentrate with your hands on your skin like that, one hand holding you by your throat while the other dipped between your folds. “Which toy do you want to fuck now?”

First, you were disappointed that apparently you did not get to fuck yourself on his cocks but then his finger swiped over your clit and you shuddered.

“Answer me, princess,” he growled, his hand slightly tightening on your throat, “Or are you too cockdumb already?”

“Nuh-uh,” you tried to shake your head just as much as your legs were shaking from the pleasure he was giving you. You tried to focus on the toys. The one you had used already and the one he had had you suck off. The blue one was glistening from your juices and your thighs clenched at the thought of having it inside you again.

But the other one, the purple one, was much thicker than the blue and you knew it was closer to what Boba’s cock actually felt like.

“The purple one,” you murmured, head leaning back against his shoulder and he mouthed at your neck, humming in satisfaction.

“You’re so kriffing sexy, you know that?” he whispered, planting a playful bite on your shoulders before leaving you alone in the middle of the room. You whined, pressing your thighs together as you saw him so meticulously prepare for what seemed to be the next scene he had had in mind.

With a soft towel spread on the floor in front of the armchair, Boba looked at you as he sat down, legs spread wide before planting the dildo on the towel. “I think good girls deserve a treat,” he murmured, working on his pants before getting his weeping cock out and you swore your knees were that close to giving out underneath you.

You gaped at him, practically falling on your knees with your hands placed on his thighs. The impact made a dull sound and your heart skipped a beat as he immediately leant forward, fingers gripping your chin as he searched your face for any sign of pain.

“I know you’re eager to suck my cock, little one,” he smirked, “But no need hurting yourself over it, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you breathed, feeling a little embarrassed for how needy you were being.

Boba smirked, leaning back in his seat but not before running the pad of his thumb over your bottom lip. Your eyes flicked down to his weeping cock, your mouth watering at seeing how a drop of precome had already collected at the tip.

Without thinking any further, you sank down on the dildo, mouth falling open at how it stretched you. You ducked down, closing your lips around his shaft and taking him as deep as he would go in one smooth movement.

Boba groaned loudly above you, one hand going to the back of your neck to keep you there. Just like your pussy, he filled your throat completely, your tongue feeling as if it was running out of space so you did your best to press it against the underside of him, wriggling along the prominent vein he had there.

Tears gathered in your eyes again and you moaned as the toy inside you hit a spot the previous one couldn’t. Your hips stuttered, slowly starting to grin against it in hopes of it hitting that spot again. You did not move your mouth from him.

“Fuck you look good like that,” he praised you, his free hand coming around your throat and you tried to swallow when you felt his thumb rub over the bulge in your throat. You had not even realized how far you had taken him but when you saw the grin on his face, his eyes glazed over in pleasure, you felt proud of yourself for making him feel like this.

Slowly he pulled you off his length and you followed, gasping for breath when you could. A trail of saliva connected you still to him and through your lashes, you looked up at him. Even now he was a sight to behold, jaw clenched, a glint in his eyes.

You would do everything to please him.

“Don’t think I can last long, little one,” he grumbled, lips twitching as he spotted how you still moved your hips, “Think you can come before that? Don’t want to leave you hanging.”

You nodded, rising on your knees again just like before and sinking back down, moaning when it hit that sweet spot.

“Good,” he smiled, warping his hand around his cock, “You can touch yourself how much you. Just want you to come for me, okay?”

“Okay,” you smiled, obediently opening your mouth to take him in again. Your fingers went to your clit, circling it to spread around the wetness that was already making its way to the towel. You gasped, hips jerking at the pleasure.

Boba groaned, rubbing the head of his cock along your tongue, precoma coating your taste buds. He pushed your head down again, quickly building up to a rhythm that had you choking and gagging, spit trailing down your chin, making you feel filthy and desired.

One hand came up to your chest, pinching your nipple and throwing you off the cliff. Your moan got interrupted by Boba shoving himself down your throat even more and you shook where you sat, your wetness coating the toy until all you could hear were obscene squelching sounds from between your thighs.

“Where did you want my come little one?”

“On my face, please,” you gasped.

A deep, guttural groan left him and you opened your mouth even wider, sticking your tongue out as your fingers played with your nipples. Hot roped of come splattered on your face, landing on your brows, your nose, your tongue, dripping down your chin and onto your chest. Boba continued pumping his shaft milking himself of every last drop and collecting it on his thumb before gently spreading it over your cheek.

“Did I do good?” you asked, heaving for breath.

“You were perfect,” he rumbled, scooping some of his come onto your tongue and you swallowed eagerly.

You shifted on your knees, wincing when the dildo moved inside you.

Boba leant down to you, his hand carefully holding you by the elbow as he stood up slowly, taking you with him. Your legs were shaking from the strain and your knees hurt from straightening them. You shivered.

A soft kiss was pressed to your lips and he led you back to the bed. The fabric was cool under your fingertips and you took a shaky breath. His warm hands were on your shoulders, thumbs brushing the skin as he looked down on you.

“Let me get you something to clean up, okay?” he murmured.

You nodded silently. He disappeared for a moment and you simply sat there, wringing your hands and trying to focus on your surroundings. Everything was fuzzy still, pleasantly warm from your orgasms but you also felt could now that it was over.

You heard the sink run in the bathroom and a moment later, Boba was in front of you again, a warm cloth in his hands that he gently ran over your face.

“Look up at me, little one,” he murmured and you did, closing your eyes as you tilted your face towards him. With gentle movements, he cleaned your face but you were too tired to smile. You felt drained but in a good way, like your limbs were too heavy from pleasure to really move and so you just let the feelings wash over you.

When he was finished, his hand came up to cup your cheek and you leaned into him.

Boba hummed, “Would you like to take a shower or a bath?”

“Bath, please,” you croaked, flinching as you heard how hoarse you sounded. Boba’s lips quirked up and he nodded. Slowly he guided you to the tiled bathroom, sitting you down on a towel at the edge of the tub before getting the water running.

You frowned, the rushing water almost too loud in your ears. Boba turned around, spotting you curling in on yourself and just like that he had you in his arms.

“It was a bit intense, wasn’t it?” he asked quietly, his lips brushing against your ears and you nodded, burying your head in the fabric of his flannel.

“I – I don’t know why I feel this way,” you whispered, “this … sensitive.”

“You’re coming down from a high, little one,” he explained, thumb brushing the back of your neck, “It’s normal to feel a little exposed. But I will make sure, you’re okay, okay? Anything you need, princes, you just tell me, yeah? Anything.”

“Okay,” you whispered, already feeling a bit better with him here.

You did not know for how long you stood there, but when the water shut off and Boba helped you in the tub you sighed in content. The water was just the perfect temperature and you sunk in with closed eyes, the only thing guiding you being Boba’s hands.

“I will get us some food, okay?” he asked quietly, sitting at the edge of the tub and holding your hand. You had never felt this cared for. “I will get us the same order as the last time, does that sound good?”

You nodded with a smile. He stood up but you held onto his hand, only letting go when the distance became too much. Stars, you were really fucked out good, weren’t you?

With your eyes closed in relaxation, you could only hear his low chuckle as he got ready to leave. The door to the room closed not long after. You soaked in the tub for what felt like an eternity. The water was warm and you were positively surprised by the scent of the motel shampoo. It certainly was not as bad as you thought it would be.

Slowly you felt yourself coming back to reality, feeling more energized and more awake and aware of your surroundings. Boba had not come back yet so when the water got a little too cold for your liking, you decided to get out anyway.

You got dressed in your nightgown you had taken with you – thankful that Boba had left it for you on the counter in a moment of foresight –, hurrying barefoot over the carpet into the bed.

Just as you turned on the TV, the lock of the door turned and a whistling Boba came in, arms laden full of brown paper bags.

“You got more than last time,” you stated, frowning as you saw him put down a second paper bag on the small TV desk.

“Well, I won’t be able to buy you breakfast tomorrow, now will I?” he replied, “Thought I could take care of that now and then you don’t have to worry about it tomorrow.”

“Oh really?” you asked, sitting up on your knees, not minding when the blanket fell down, so you could at least make an attempt to peer into the bag.

Boba chuckled, indulging you by handing you the mysterious food bag and immediately you took a peek. There, neatly arranged, was a croissant, a chocolate muffin and what looked like a little breakfast sandwich.

“I’d keep the sandwich in the fridge,” Boba commented from the other side of the room, already taking out the familiar smelling food containers. He did not seem to know how your heart swelled in your chest at the sweet gesture.

You knew he had wanted to be here for breakfast – he had literally told you so on the phone – but when it was clear that Saturday would remain your meeting day of choice, you thought he had just shrugged it off. Maybe it had just been a flirtatious remark?

But the fact that he had gone out of his way to somehow show you he had been serious about what he had said made butterflies appear in your stomach.

“It’s very sweet,” you murmured, looking at the way the muscles in his back moves as he fished for the plastic utensils, “You didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to,” he replied easily, still smiling when he turned around and carried the food with him, “Now let me slip under that blanket, princess, what will we watch?”

You giggled, watching this giant man carefully position himself on the bed, before stretching out his arm, offering you the food to eat and his chest to rest against once again.

“I could get used to this,” you murmured, taking a bite of the pita.

“Me too, princess,” he rumbled, “Me too.”

[wren-writes68]

Ordered Online au

<Warnings- soft vore- mention of digestion- dehumanization- cursing- mouthplay>

Tommy started pacing as his message to tubbo didn’t even go read, he picked up his phone scrolling back through the other 50 messages he’d sent, over the course of two weeks to both tubbo and eventually ranboo, neither even reading them. Everyone was worried as tommy sent a text to the group chat saying that tubbo still hadn’t answered.

Wilbur: I’m sure it’s fine we’ll head over to his house tomorrow

Phil: Did we ever get his address mate?

Wilbur: uh I’m pretty sure

Wilbur: nope nvm

Tommy: guys this is serious, tubbo and ranboo aren’t responding!

Techno: guys Tommy’s using correct punctuation, we should be scared.

Phil: guys enough. Tommy just get some food and go to bed, we’ll handle this ok.

Tommy: but phillllll

Phil: no buts it’s already 10

Wilbur: sent you some food toms it’s really good!

Tommy: thanks big man

Techno:night nerd

Tommy is typing…

[Phil] has muted this chat

Tommy sighed putting his phone down, only to pick it back up shoving it in his pocket and heading downstairs remembering Wilbur had ordered some ‘good’ food for him. As if on cue the doorbell rang, tommy walked over to the door and a teen wearing some sort of tacky ass suit, “listen man it’s the uniform ok do you want your food or not” the man said pushing a paper bag into Tommy’s arms and turning away mumbling curses under his breath at the weird looks he kept getting. “Ok then?” Tommy said taking the small bag inside and pulling out a small styrofoam container, that smelled really good, a plastic fork, and a plastic knife.

Tommy, having set everything out on the table, opened the container revealing a steak covered in different spices and sauces, the sight alone made his mouth water. He sent a quick thank you off to Wilbur, Wilbur responding with a simple “your welcome” as well as the name and location of the place. “Tiny fancy, what a weird ass na-” he stoped seeing movement in the tiny container, and pushing the steak around saw two tines crouched down behind it cowering, “Huh I guess the name does make some sense then.” tommy had to say he was exited, he’d had tinies before but his parents were big on ‘no tinies in the house,’ in case of starting an infested or something, luckily his parents were out of town so he could eat them. “Tommy!?” Or not…

Tommy looked down hearing the tiny call out his name, “how do you know my name!?” He asked trying to get a better look at the smalle borrower, “Tommy it’s me, Tubbo!” It said this time climbing on top of the steak so Tommy could see him. “holy shit, Tubbo!?” Tommy yelled making both tinies flinch, tommy made a mental note not to do that again, he held his hand towards the tiny bot sure if tubbo would be ok with being touched, but when his hand got in reach Tubbo practically jumped into it tearing up at the gentle contact of the light fist he was held in. “Um guys” the other borrower said having gotten out of the box, “oh ranboob! tommy said causing ranboo to sigh.

Tommy set tubbo back down and picked up the shitty utensils, cutting a small chunk for his tiny friends and a bigger one for him they tasted this heavenly looking steak. Turns out the tinies were the only edible thing there, “gross!” Tubbo said, throwing the small chunk of meat back in the container ranboo following suit, tommy however ate the entire thing having nothing else better at the moment. “So what now?” Ranboo asked, everyone taking a second to think before tubbo shouted “sleepover!”

Tommy grabbed tubbo and ranboo walking back to his room and putting them down on the bed with his phone which tubbo instantly started trying to play on, “ ‘m gonna go to the bathroom I’ll be back” tommy said walking away. Tubbo gave a dismissive “mhm” and went back to trying to play on the giant phone.

~~flashback~~

“Are they defective?” One on the humans said towering over ranboo and a couple of other borrowers “no sir these are the new borrowers we still need to test them” another replied. Ranboo looked around the bright, box? Suddenly a hand came down and wrapped around him tightly lifting him towards one of the scientists faces, the human looked him over before turning to his college “this one would work nicely in the food industry” the other hummed looking over a small sheet, “yea sure put him in the order with #20212215” ranboo zoned out mind racing to the fact he was going to be food “blah blah blah, Brighton order” Ranboo perked up hearing that. Brighton he was going to the UK and he was getting sent to Brighton right where Wilbur was, surly he could escape and get to one of his friends, “first put him in training the UK agency says #20212215’s an annoying one hopefully this guy will tie him down” and with that ranboo was taken off to who knows where.

“Day 8 of training the subject has mastered basic commands and has not only gotten used to getting swallowed but has mastered climbing into the mouth and inside massages as well” Ranboo paused hearing the human he was supposed to call ‘his’ but was really named Greg and was very nice to him even though he still had to do his job, ranboo didn’t feel bad giving the nice man a massage after he’d given ranboo actual food.

Greg walked down with supervisor, “very well send him” the man said walking away to do who knows what, “nice, congrats ran you’re going to be with #21202215 and you guys are heading out to one, mr. Wilbur Soot” Ranboo perked up “Wilbur hu, you know him?” Greg asked. Ranboo frantically shook his head “yea we’re friends!” Greg laughed at his excitement “that’s good cause I’d hate you go to a bad place you’re a nice little guy” he said rubbing a finger against ranboo before gently picking him up and setting him in a box “good luck then ran” he chuckled closing the box.

~~flashback end~~

“Aww it turned off” Tubbo whined “Ranboo what’s the password.” Ranboo who’d been curled up on the pillow groaned “why would I know?” “Tommy what’s your passwo-” Tubbo’s sentence stoped with a short scream as the bed shook probably from Tommy flopping down. Ranboo looked up seeing tommy face first in the pillow tubbo now snuggled in the crook of his neck drifting off “you ok tommy?” Ranboo asked walking towards the pair, tommy turned to make sure tubbo was asleep which he was, surprisingly “that steak is not sitting well” tommy said with another grand putting his head back into the pillow.

“I might be able to help with that” Ranboo whispered, “hmh?” Tommy groaned picking his head up to look at ranboo, “it uh…it was apart of a program they put me in before, this” Tommy stayed silent knowing how scary some of those ‘tests’ could be. “Y-you don’t have to, I get that it probably wasn’t a good experience” Ranboo was quick to retort “no no it’s fine. it’s actually not that bad”

Tommy tiredly pushed his lips up to ranboo making the smaller male laugh, “come-on tommy you have to do more than that” he said, easily pushing Tommy’s mouth open and climbing in “mmm” tommy hummed around ranboo licking over him and lightly sucking on him.

Ranboo laughed as the wet muscle licked over him hums vibrating throughout his entire form. Ranboo hugged the tongue as it finished licking over him and started nudging him backwards, he chuckled and pat the tongue almost instantly being pulled down by the strong, yet surprisingly gentle throat muscles. Ranboo was pulled down for a good couple seconds before being deposited into the stomach, ranboo got out a small flashlight he’d gotten from Greg and looked around. What remained of the ‘steak’ that Tommy ate looked more like plastic than food and the walls around it looked irritated, ranboo walked over placeing a hand on the irritated area before the whole stomach convulsed around him and Tommy let out a pained groan. Ranboo backed away finding a nice non irritated spot to curl up in and started rubbing the walls around him, soon the whole area vibrated a light purring coming form all around him “…tommy are your purring?” Ranboo asked chuckling as the teen in question just grumbled huffing lightly before what ranboo assumed was passing out. “Good night then” he laughed giving the walls one last pat and cuddling into the folds of the stomach drifting off protected and safe inside his friend.

Finally coming back to write, pog

(Not prof read)

Any asks for this au are appreciated since I don’t know where to go with this but I want to continue it.