#the return of paddywhack

[backtothefuturefan88]

A NEW COMIC

Darkwing Duck: The Return of Paddywhack (issue #2)

Part 1

Drake Mallard’s paranoia is starting to get to him; but perhaps it is for a good reason?

[bbbutterfingers]

i would love for you to know that whenever i get into my soul eater hellhole home time from time to time i ALWAYS always end up thinking very fondly of your drawings . you are my icon . i aspire to make art as adorable and heartwrenching (in the best possible way) as you do . i look up to you as an artist and i LOVE YOU and im happy you're still drawing even if its been years !!!!!! i hope you're having a great day !!!!

thank you so much!!!!! i still stand by soul eater, what a weird, funky, unique, bizarre collective fever dream. maka is the best shonen protagonist ever, basically, and i feel like crona inspired generations of nbs. i had soooo much fun drawing and being in the soul eater fandom, too, so its heart follows its fans :3

[abbythegamergirl]

controling them like her puppets. {some concept idea for a epic yarn fanfic sequal! gift for @vanaristorm ^^}

feel free to reblog

[hecallsmehischild]

Recent Media Consumed

Books

The Road to Wigan Pier by George Orwell. First, I actually appreciated the foreward to the “Left Book Club” copy, even though it says that anyone who is not a member should disregard it. It gave an interesting rebuttal to parts of the book. That aside, I’m not totally sure what to make of the book. On the level of descriptive writing, I rarely find something this richly penned. But it’s loaded with concepts and lingo and even a monetary system I’m unfamiliar with, and that hampers my understanding of the points. I get the general gist, but all the finer points are very lost on me, simply because I’m an American millennial.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson. I’ve seen the “F*ck” series titles floating around here and there, and I’m intrigued by a couple of them. The idea of this one is that people give way too many f*cks about everything, and that you really need to pick where you give your f*cks in life and never give a f*ck about anything that doesn’t line up with your values (in a nutshell). It’s an easy and interesting read. It’s interesting to me that, in the wake of what I hear was many years of positive-mood and high self-esteem type self help books (most of which I’ve only heard of and never read, were they before my time?), we’re getting a backlash of “Yes, life sucks. Yes, life has pain. Dealing with pain and failure appropriately is a part of life. Accept that, or lose yourself to complete entitlement” type self-help books. I’m curious what this trend produces in people over time. I’d also like to highlight that this book has the best discussion of dividing “fault” and “responsibility” that I’ve ever read.

Shows

Loki. WHAT EVEN. WHAT EVEN. WHAT. WHAT THE. WHAT THE. FRESH… THE FRICK FRACK PADDYWHACK???!!!

Mushi-shi. So, turns out the first time I watched this I somehow started on Season 2, and my source cut out before the season end… no wonder I was pretty confused. So I started re-watching this and… I remember how incredibly unsettling this anime is. It’s equal parts gentle wonder and soft horror, a blend that is very difficult to describe unless you’ve seen it. Much like Mushi themselves, eh? I think I’ll balance this out by ending each watch session with an episode of Log Horizon rewatch. That’ll keep the emotional balance intact.

Claymore. I ended up dropping this one halfway through. It has an interesting concept, but the “things that bug me” points mounted pretty fast. In the early episodes, everything is so dark that it’s hard to see what’s going on. There’s a huge amount of monologuing and info-dumping IN monologue, and this goes on even mid-fight, and even CALMLY mid-fight. Yes, this isn’t the only anime that does this, but it decreases my enjoyment. It’s difficult to take the story seriously when the big bad yells, “Why can’t I defeat you?” to the weakest-but-somehow-also-the-strongest member of a team, and then have a colleague of the team member calmly explain to the big bad exactly why he’s unable to land a blow, then they take off his head together. This show has a lot of that sort of thing. I’ll read up on how the series ended, not interested in slogging through the other half.

Elfen Lied. This is a re-re-rewatch for me. I stumbled on this anime when I was newly inducted into anime-watching and, well... given that Princess Tutu was my very first anime, this one was a real shock to my system at first. By all accounts I should have dropped it and run screaming at the time, but I couldn’t. There was something about the sheer tragedy of the story that called to me. Plus it was VERY short. So I returned to it from time to time. Now that I’ve developed more of a feel for what I do and don’t like in a story, how does this hold up? The relationships are terrible, imo, and the whole thing about diclonius is never explained enough (and I still don't understand the ending) but it's STILL hard not to be pulled in by the sheer tragedy of the series.

Movies

300. I haven’t seen this movie since college. Is it weird how much I enjoyed it as a romp? Yes, there’s death and tragedy, but the dry humor and utter gung-ho-edness of it is infectious. It’s a good flick, I’m really glad I went back to see it. And I also finally understand Leonidas telling the traitor, “May you live forever.” Damn, man. No wonder he flinched.

Weathering With You. GORGEOUS. I need to see more by this animator… LIGHT. WATER. FOOD. I hear they’re calling this person the new Miyazaki? I CONCUR. And the story is sweet and beautiful and just yes. Yes. Oh, look, he made something else before this movie…

Your Name. Okay so I have mixed feelings about this one. On the one hand, fantastic story and, once again, gorgeous animation that all makes me want to track with this creator in the future. And the twist definitely socked me in the gut, I didn’t see it coming. On the other hand, I feel like this movie hits an extreme of “show, don’t tell” in a way that comes awfully close to a negative. I didn’t think that was possible, but this movie switches timelines, POV, points in time, etc, so rapidly that it becomes difficult to keep track of what’s going on, properly. I could not imagine watching this movie in theaters, it has to be watched with a remote in hand to pause, rewind, rewatch, discuss what the heck just happened. It’s like watching Mystery Skulls videos, with that level of rapid fire little details that are incredibly important to the plot, but for a feature length film. Also, after some discussion, I came to see (and agree) that there’s a foundational issue in the main relationship that doesn’t bode well for the future, as much as I rooted for them to be together. Still, it’s an incredible movie and I can see why it was the highest grossing movie for Japan a few years back.

Games

Diablo II. I’m really happy. I live in a house with my husband and his best friend, and in the past year or so we’ve begun playing games together. This is the sort of game I would never have gone to on my own because I actually need someone in the room who I can ask, “Hey, how do you assign attacks again?” or “Hey, is this piece of gear better than the piece I’m wearing?” I don’t like playing the number game on gear so much, but I let the two of them dress my character up and then I back them up in a fight and enjoy myself. Looting and exploring for treasure is probably my favorite aspect (says the person who plays Breath of the Wild just to forage for mushroom and herbs), although as a level 20 Amazon I’m now shooting out waves of 8 arrows at a time, and that’s pretty epic too. It’s a special kind of joy to find out you actually like a type of gaming as long as there’s people there who can explain things along the way and who don’t get annoyed at re-asked questions. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m having a blast playing Diablo II in a group. And as for the other game we play together as a group…

WoW Classic. I covered this before, but back then I was a lowly level 17 Dwarf Hunter. Now I’m a lowly level 36 Dwarf Hunter. With a mount! I have epic skills like explosion traps, poisonous shots, and multi-shot. My wolf has gained a ton more skills, too, and is (or so I’m told) a pretty effective off-tank. I have been told I am an effective DPS person, which makes me very happy. I really enjoy this kind of gaming, but specifically when I’m in the same room as the people I’m gaming with. Communication is a lot easier and we work really well as a team that way.

[kats-randomology]

Do you plan on making more Paddywhack related stuff in the future? Truth be told, it’s how I got started into liking your work.

I honestly want to, as I have cooked up a bunch of fun ideas for em (and now I get to work in my little bat mime too which is gonna be great 🤣🤣)

And I had this whole plot bunny of Paddywhack returning to St. Canard which his posse, declaring a city wide lock down-- ahem, i mean PARTY, with the sole game of

"Whoever Brings Me Darkwing and/or Quackerjack First Gets to Choose the Second Game!"

"....that's kind of a long name, Boss."

"It's a working title!"

And of course, DW shows up to put a stop to it but he was NOT prepared for the Troupe and ends up caught pretty fast XD

So its kinda role reversal with Quackerjack and Megavolt stuck with LP and Gosalyn trying to save him (begrudgingly for some) in order to get rid of the demons. And Paddywhack is content toying with DW while the others are off hunting them down.

[hunter-the-sad-skeleton]

Me and @abbythegamergirl started throwing angsty AU ideas back and forth, and one of them was one where Paddywhack returned and possessed Hunter to get revenge on Quackerjack for “Being a bad playmate”, originally, the idea here was that “Hunter”(Possessed by Paddywhack) pulled Quackerjack into a hug and stabbed him, but I can’t draw hugs, so I did the aftermath instead! Hunter watched while she took shelter in Mr. Banana Brain, but she couldn’t move or do anything, so she couldn’t stop Paddywhack! Afterwards, Paddywhack leaves, letting Hunter get blamed for it!(Reblogs appreciated!)(Can ya guys TELL I’m obsessed with the new “Count The Ways” song yet?)

[nightcoremoon]

there's a big difference between angsty music and music about trauma and addiction and mental illness, and I'm real tired of people not knowing the difference.

now, take korn. we all know korn, right?

now I know they have a lot of lyrics that might come off as super angsty out of context. "get the fuck outta my face, NO!" "shut up, shut up, shut up I'll fuck you up" "dubstep noise" "knick knack paddywhack give a dog a bone, this old man came rolling home" "I'm feeling like a freak on a leash, feeling like I have no release" "I'm gonna cut myself and watch the blood flow down" "I'm never gonna love again, never, never" "actual dubstep" "shut the fuck up and get out" "I can see I can see that I'm going blind" "all day I dream about sex & fucking" "I can't control myself I fucking hate you"

yeah... that sounds like the scrawlings of a 12 year old who wouldn't eat carrot sticks and so he couldn't have a twinkie after dinner.

except the lyrics of korn are written about and inspired by a kid who got bullied for allegedly being gay, got molested, got addicted to drugs he used to self-medicate for depression anxiety and insomnia, etc. all these songs are written because of trauma and mental illness. it's not just angst. he's not just crying about dumb shit, he actually had a couple emotional breakdowns trying to perform some of these songs. oh yeah and then his wife overdosed and died last year. korn has legitimate reasons behind why all the songs are full of variations of fuck you and fuck off. and yet some ignorant people decry korn as being just angsty nu metal (even though they along with RatM and deftones CREATED nu metal off the back of faith no more and primus). it was limp bizkit, kid rock, and staind who made all the angsty trash music. not korn.

three days grace, that first album WAS angsty to the max. but one-x was written mainly about adam's struggles with drug addiction. and then the third album went back to angst again and they never returned until matt replaced adam and they started making songs about mental illness and trauma again. (saint asonia is still angsty except when sully from godsmack made a good song for them).

slipknot, that's not really either. it's a bunch of dads in halloween costumes who realized they had fans and started making music FOR those people.

evanescence, that's kinda on either side. amy clearly lets her meatloaf influence show in her super hammy dramatic ballads in bring me to life, my immortal, everybody's fool, hello, etc. but then you look at whisper, my last breath, going under, and taking over me- oh yeah and their fucking death metal cover, torniquet- all really serious, grounded, down-to-earth songs about, you guess it, trauma and mental illness (and suicide). and then she let the fame get to her head and started treating everyone around her like shit, but whatever; head from korn is a dick too.

bullet for my valentine: angsty to the max. it's their fault we have pierce the veil, sleeping with sirens, black veil brides, escape the fate, and the dozens and dozens of other edgy bands. (in pierce the veil's defense their third album is fucking top-notch and a clear triumph of post hardcore, and in black veil bride's defense they went for more of a traditional heavy metal sort of approach and clearly put most emphasis on their musicality especially when they got zakk wylde on their kiss cover).

linkin park: good golly gosh it's trauma and mental illness yet again. mostly. chester had that aspect, mike was kinda flexing his flow and production even though they're both mediocre at best. he knows that without chester they're just fort minor 2.

I'm sure I've painted enough of a picture

[sternerstufftoys]

Don’t Kickback In Anger

The year is 1985. England have somehow won the Ashes. Supergran has been unleashed on an unsuspecting nation. In the charts Dead or Alive are spinning right round right baby right round like a record baby. And the Decepticons got a little creepy crawly...

The Insecticons were always there. They were a stalwart, a reliable background troop of mooks for the baddies to fall back on when the big names weren't enough to carry the day. Much like the Constructicons (who debuted around the same time) Kickback and the gang never quite rose to A-list status despite a few notable appearances. For me, as always, it's the Marvel comic which has left the strongest impression, with them acting as enforcers for Straxus on Cybertron and getting all sneaky and bug-like when they arrived on earth. But mostly there were there to fill out the numbers, and the ability to clone themselves used in the cartoon was presumably considered a workaround for the perennial problem of the Decepticons being horribly outnumbered. Turns out good-guy toys sell better, who knew?

But then everything above could be said about any of the three Insecticons. What's Kickback got that the others don't? Bombshell can take control of your brains, Shrapnel can shoot lightning... these are some hefty superpowers right there. Kickback... kicks. I mean, he's good at kicking, don't get me wrong. But alongside Professor X and Thor, Eric Cantona is looking a little out of his league. He didn't even get the fun little speech quirk that Shrapnel got. Yeah, objectively Kickback is the least effective of the three Insecticons, which is something of a shame considering his bio makes him out to be a smooth-talking con artist that makes friends easily, even among humans. That would have been great to see! Ah well.

Luckily, in toy form Kickback has a lot going for him, especially in this Titans Return incarnation. The only one with translucent bits, the only one with a flip out chest/pilot seat and the most poseable of the bunch by a country mile. Despite his small size, Kickback has a striking figure, with well-proportioned limbs and a headsculpt that stands out for just how cool he appears, in a 1985-version-of-cool kind of way, of course. Wraparound shades will never go out of style (until 1986 when The Dark Knight Returns put them out of style forever). No accessories, which for the other two wouldn't have been such a problem, but makes it all the more important that Kickback Paddywhack gets in close to deliver a swift knee to the clangers of his enemy, otherwise he's not such an imposing presence on the battlefield. I kind of imagine him as more of a civilian liaison for the Decepticons, recruiting fresh cannon fodder on Cybertron and negotiating with various ne'er-do-wells on Earth, and only getting involved on the battlefield when he has to.

Transformation is a lot less fiddly than Bombshell and doesn't have the super-stiff joints of Shrapnel, and so long as you can get his arms to form the insect butt you're well away. He's not a bad little grasshopper all told, despite the cheeky cheat of having the robot head just snuggle down inside the insect head. While it's hardly a very poseable beastie this is probably for the best. Young'uns won't remember the days of Beast Wars bugs having ball joints at every opportunity, and inevitably buckling under the weight. A harrowing reminder that articulation doesn't always lend itself to poseability.

The translucent robot chest becomes more of a feature in this mode as well, flipping up like it did on the G1 toy to reveal a cockpit... which inevitably is far too small for titan masters to sit inside, and operates more like a saddle than a cockpit. Or, if you're feeling retro like me, plonk a Diaclone pilot in there. The Waruders are reborn! It would have been nice to have had a proper cockpit, as the rest of the legends size class could comfortably seat titan masters and close up after them, but it would have come at the expense of a big chonk of a robot belly, so we're probably better served this way.

Okay sure. Kickback may have been poorly served in the superpowers department, but he's definitely come out on top in terms of toy representation. Bombshell's colours and insect legs don't match up to his brethren, and Shrapnel's big solid yellow chest feels a bit lacklustre next to Kickback's gleaming transluscoguts. It would have been nice to have got an Energon cube to stash away in there though, something which has still eluded mainline transformers. It's just a little plastic cube. It's not the most complicated thing to manufacture, I'm sure. Oh well.

[psychosistr]

maybe you sould do errm the backstorys of the fearsome four in the steven universe au? it might be cool ;o

Well, I’ll do the backstories for Quackerjack and Liquidator since I had them in the RP.

Liquidator:

•A tear-drop cut royal-blue Lapis Lazuli.

•A powerful and interesting variant of regular Lapis Lazulis with a body made of water instead of light like a regular gem. This makes him harder to poof, but, when it does happen, he can reform fairly quickly if set in a large enough source of water.

•Doesn’t have a weapon that he summons like most gems, instead he just transforms his body parts into sharpened ice or controls large bodies of water around him.

•Works under Blue Diamond as one of her top terra-formers. He is also one of the elite, upper-class gems that she calls upon for specialized missions.

•Has been partnered with Bushroot for many missions over the years and has feelings for him that he doesn’t quite understand thanks to homeworld’s limit on expressing emotions, especially for elite gems.

•Is very protective of his friends, especially Bushroot since the other gem doesn’t like/feels like he can’t fight well. This can also manifest in jealousy if he feels like someone may possibly take his place of importance in the group (read as: if Bushroot may like someone more than him, he will instantly hate them and try to show them up at every opportunity).

Quackerjack:

•A one of a kind pink malaia garnet with flecks of orange in his round-cut gem.

•There are only ever one cut of his gem per court due to rarity, meaning he’s very strong and unpredictable to most gems.

•Main weapon is a mallet, but he can summon all sorts of toys from his gem to fight with. Can also shapeshift, store things (and people) in his gemstone, and control the speed of his jumping to the point of floating.

•Has an unfortunate habbit of fusing with other gems if he feels particularly close to them, resulting in many accidental fusions (most frequent and recent one is Goldy Quartz, his fusion with Megavolt). Most gems judged him for it harshly, but Pink Diamond encouraged his ability and told him it was a sign of love and friendship, making him feel much better.

•Was a member of Pink Diamond’s court and served as her favorite jester as well as one of her guards. Her previous jester was his best friend Paddywhack, who had to return to homeworld when Quackerjack took his place.

•During one of the last few battles in the gem war, he was poofed and had his gem was cracked. Some homeworld gems put him in a mirror in order to get information about the rebel army’s base, but he couldn’t tell them things he didn’t know. He was left behind during the evacuation and stayed trapped for centuries until he was freed by Liquidator, Bushroot, and Megavolt.

•Adimantly refuses to believe that Pink Diamond was really shattered, but seems unable to tell anyone why he thinks so. He’ll also often talk about someone named Claire with the same reverence and adoration as his diamond, but not about how they met or who she was- though it’s clear they used to be together.

•He’s very playful and tries to laugh and smile through the pain he feels over losing so many people close to him and seeing what happened to Paddywhack, as well as the general state of homeworld since his return.

@abbythegamergirl you can do the profiles for Bushroot and Megavolt

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

How would the Toy Czar episode play out with Little Jacky?

Well, since we have to adjust for the fact that Little Jacky is a 10 year old and not a near 40-something year old destitute old businessman, then the underground Toy Kingdom would have to be minorly adjusted...

I suppose first off, the plot would be adjusted to be more about Little Jacky trying to get the other kids to play with toys instead of video games, going as far to convince them all the ditch school to hang out in his Toy Kingdom (which remains fundamentally the same, perhaps remnants of the old toy factory that may have been part of a family business or something, I'm still working out his backstory a bit *check bottom of post for a minor suggestion*).

And then he won't let them leave for fear of abandonment or something (like he doesn't have many friends, and this is the most people who's ever hung out with him at once, and he hasn't met the Fearsome yet), maybe even just as simple as he's not done with "playtime", or maybe he's getting angry that they aren't following the "rules" of the "game", and it quickly becomes a kid scale of a hostage situation where he has toy soldiers patrolling the exits and chatterteeth trained to find and return any escapees quickly and efficiently. Perhaps trapping any of those said escapees in cardboard jail boxes that are easy to get out of, but the chatterteeth are stationed as guard dogs there so it's much advised to not leave the box if you're put there.

Like, remember that "Codename: Kids Next Door" episode with that kid who was king of the sandcastle and all that?

We're talking that sort of level of domination. Little Jacky is going to be the Toy King, whether you want him to or not. And Mr. Banana Brain is going to be basically the "snitch" against all the other kids, seemingly able to relay information to Little Jacky when it shouldn't be possible ("Mr. Banana Brain here tells me one of you is planning on leaving when my back is turned. Who was it? First one to tell the truth will be my new best friend and you'll be allowed to play with the bestest toys in the whole kingdom!")

By the time Darkwing arrives, it's pretty much the same antics save for a few where it's clear that Little Jacky can't physically pull off (such as the Grim Reaper bit because the scythe would be way too heavy for him to safely hold, and he'd have some difficulty in pulling off the Puppet bit, since Darkwing would be far heavier than him, so there has to be another way to trip him into the block castle).

New bits added to compensate for that, perhaps maybe a large rideable toy train set chase scene (with them both having a "battle" that is basically Little Jacky kicking Darkwing in the shins repeatedly while in top of the train, and jumping around to avoid being grabbed) that ends with the playset's bridge being out and them having to dramatically jump off about three feet to the ground as the train goes off the track and inexplicably combusts when it hits the ravine about two feet off the bridge despite the set being electric powered. No one mentions the train set again and it's significance is never noted.

Or, maybe the small explosion of the train set sets off a chain reaction of a single marble rolling away and activating a Rube Goldberg Machine-esque of unbelievably conveniently placed objects toppling into each other and ending ultimately with a set of dominos falling over to finally bump into the wood block castle (during with, they both stare at it in unison), which Little Jacky recognizes as a problem to the structural integrity of the thing and starts to book it well before Darkwing realizes its starting to fall.

Then the ending is pretty much the same, except there's a likely chance Mr. Banana Brain isn't a grenade, and maybe the emergency Inflatable Bobo Punching Bag doesn't actually do the thing it does in episode proper, but probably is a defective model that he can't get to work, so Darkwing is able to apprehended this child and take him back to the orphanage.

**Suggestion in mind for backstory: His family owned the toy factory before something happened that left the factory abandoned and Little Jacky eventually residing the orphanage. Details not specific, because I want to have room to tweak things more until I'm satisfied, maybe his parents are MIA, or maybe he's not the only one who's seen Paddywhack's box before..? Ideas, ideas, I need more time to really work things around, you'll see~**

[slashandburnpod]

Ep 100 - Frick Frack Paddywhack Cracker Jack - Revisits

This week on Slash and Burn IT'S EPISODE 100! With the help of listener Ruminavi, we revisit updated stories from past episodes!

Join us as hosts Kera, the fanfiction veteran, and Steve, the lovable noob, read and discuss updated fanfiction we visited in past episodes. We have stories from fandoms such as One Piece, Transformers, Bangtan Boys, and more!

As always, there is explicit content not meant for most adults, let alone children. You've been warned.

itunes libsyn

Featured Stories

Fatty Piece I’ve Had Enough Sleepy Gary Returns Just (Not) Another Girl A Poke-Breeder’s Assistant

[backtothefuturefan88]

FIRST PAGE TOMORROW

I have the first page of chapter 2 done! 🥳

I’m going to draw the second page probably tomorrow, and hopefully I can write more of the story from where I left off in my notes.

I’ve decided to just concentrate on chapter 2 of the story for now, but maybe I’ll go back to redrawing part 1 every once in a while.

But for now, how about a refresher on chapter 1? 👇

[rebellingstagnationblog]

“Silver Bells” by Michael Bublé (Day 9 of 31)

For @historian-in-pearls who can never get enough Negaduck. 

Strictly speaking, walking through the Breakdown wasn’t the most direct route to the Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice Bakery.

But it wasn’t the first time Negaduck’s curiosity had gotten the best of him. Nor, did he suspect, would it be the last.

It was surreal, to walk through town and not be recognized. He was in disguise, but all the same. Not a single flinch, no eyes widening in terror, no one ducking away or breaking into a run. A part of him wanted to be offended (suit, hat, mask, and cape or no, he’d worked hard for that fear), and another was relieved in the freedom of the anonymity. He’d garnered some sort of reaction from people all his life. He’d adapted to the attention and even craved it at times.

But he’d never realized the benefit of walking around unnoticed.

Maybe there was something to this secret identity thing. Not that he’d ever voice that aloud. But it was a thought.

Because walking around the main downtown area without anyone recognizing him gave Negaduck the rare gift of time.

No one raised an eyebrow when he slowed his pace to see all the shop windows decorated for the season.

People paid him no mind when he circled around the tree that had been placed in the middle of a business square, massive colored bulbs illuminated with syphoned electricity weighting down the branches.

Everyone walked by, business as usual, while he looked upward to study the garland stretched across the roads. The large red bows tied around streetlights. The wreaths (where had they found wreaths?) mounted atop building entrances and on doors.

This was Christmas in the Negaverse.

Now.

This was Christmas in the Negaverse now. After their supreme lord and ruler had been absent for three years.

They would never have been so brazen before. Their decorating would have been simpler, more candid, so that Negaduck wouldn’t find it and incinerate it.

But three years gone and there were ten foot tall trees and garland and wreaths.

He wasn’t mad. He couldn’t be. The Negaverse had merely done what it always did: it had adapted. This time it had just adapted to Negaduck not being there.

Which sounded worse than it was. In a way, Negaduck was proud of them, deciding to so boldly go against his rule despite his return.

And this embrace of the season was so clearly sanctioned by Gosalyn, so he really couldn’t even be frustrated at the holiday encroaching on his rundown city. She loved this damn holiday; it had only been a matter of time before her enthusiasm spread to the populace.

And he didn’t completely hate the holiday himself. Not anymore.

So he’d let all these decorations stay up. Pretend he’d never been here and, thus, claim ignorance.

Hence his disguise.

Honestly, he’d just wanted to see it. Confirm with his own eyes just how much his world had changed without him in it.

Gosalyn had done well. Clearly divided the city so villains were on one side and law abiding citizens on the other. The citizens were safe in their space and the villains could be themselves, free to wreak havoc on the town without repercussions.

Negaduck wouldn’t have been able to so clearly divide the town like that. He never would’ve thought to do it. But it worked. Functioned as both a villain’s paradise and a citizens’s society.

Snow started to drift across the city, giving Negaduck his cue to get on with it.

As he approached the edge of the Breakdown, he assumed his identity once more, ditching the trench coat and baseball cap in the newly falling snow.

He’d had his fill of peace. Chaos needed to return. All he had to do was confirm that he’d successfully rebuilt the bridge between the Negaverse and the Prime Universe.

For the third time.

He was getting real tired of doing that over and over and over again.

At least he’d been able to use Gosalyn’s Duckburg portal to go back and forth this time. Repairing the portal from both sides instead of hoping and praying it would work was a lot less nerve-racking.

His Fearsome Four losers along with Steelbeak, Moliarty, Splatter Phoenix, Ammonia Pine, and Paddywhack had been stuck in the Prime Universe for the past few months as Negaduck had repaired the portal.

But now.

They’d come back.

Be officially under his supervision once more.

Christmas was all about giving. And he was ready to give himself full control over his minions again.

The city was even decorated. As if encouraging this homecoming and the chaos it would inevitably bring with it.

Christmas really wasn’t so bad after all.

[abbythegamergirl]

“well megavolt was your biggest fan” quackerjack said.

*“quackerjack” looked at his jack in the box, seeing that.. HE was the MONSTER*

{facts: “quackerjack” is paddywhack.} mostly based on the duck knights return.

[doodliedoo]

Today’s Story: Adventures in Babysitting

I am the designated caretaker in just about every facet of my life. With my friends, I am the mom friend (there’s a few of us, but that’s of little importance). With my family, I am the advice giver (why my mother comes to me for parenting advice for my siblings, and why my older sisters and younger brother– who have dated more than I have– come to me for dating advice, I will never know). At all parties I attend (my mom’s wedding, football parties, and any get together involving parents and kids and usually alcohol), I am the babysitter: I watch the kids until they fall asleep, and then I go make sure their parents don’t eat someone’s pet (goldfish has happened, turtle was a near miss). Naturally, I take babysitting jobs for some cash as well, and I never really run out of referrals unless the parents at the party were too drunk to remember me sober (which is rare, but has happened). 

So there is one occasion where I go to a babysitting job, it is my stepdad’s friend from work, and I am watching his two kids and his brother’s two kids. The oldest is seven, a boy, and thinks he’s too cool for this. There are two five-year-old twins, a boy and a girl, both amicable and very good listeners. The youngest is a four-year-old girl who is shy but also bossy. There is also a humongous, mixed-breed dog. All are adorable. The parents order us pizza and leave it on the counter, tell me the kids have a bedtime of 8:00, 8:30 at the latest, that they would really appreciate if I could give them a bath and help them brush their teeth, and head out for the night.

At this point, the kids are all playing outside in the front yard on a playset, or with their little electric kid cars. All is good. Then the neighbors show up. In the span of around three minutes I have gone from babysitting four kids to babysitting ten, but no parents run out screaming so I assume they have permission to be there. I’m nowhere near out of my depth, but wrangling ten kids is a handful, so I round them up with a game of hide and seek and that tires them out pretty quick. At sunset, or 7:00, I tell the neighbor kids they should head home before it gets dark. I get grumbles, but I have earned their respect and so they grudgingly head home.

Inside, I go to start dishing out the pizza from the box on the counter and find the box on the floor. Empty. The dog sits across the kitchen with a guilty look on his face. I am not one to give up easily, so I begin to look through the pantry– and of course I’m in one of those “trying to be healthy but not really committed to it” houses, so there’s some poptarts, but nothing else ready-made. Not even bread for sandwiches. Who the frick-frack-paddywhack-crackerjack-godsmack-tic-tac doesn’t have sandwich bread!? Anyway, I find some tortillas and cheese and a weird butter-ish variation, so I’m like “Who wants quesadillas?” and all of them are like “ME!” So I feel a little better, at least they’re not heartbroken over the pizza-- actually, they all start asking for strawberries, so I cut some up in between quesadilla cook-time. They’ve been watching the Angry Birds Movie this whole time, and by the time dinner is ready it’s ¾ the way through and 7:40, so I let them eat and watch TV– I saw them snacking on the couch when I arrived, so I know the parents are okay with it. The quesadillas taste weird from the butter-ish variation, and go mostly uneaten, but they eat a lot of strawberries to compensate, and enough of the quesadillas to be full. There’s dinner. Not as planned, but dinner.

By the time the movie was over, it was around 8:00, and I’m sort of panicking because they should have been in bed already. I would have skipped the baths, except the kids were sort of filthy from playing outside, and they needed baths. So, I put the girls in one bath, and the boys in the other, and I start the water in both. I’m trying to get them to wash themselves, but there are two problems: one, they just want to play, and two, there is no soap in the whole damn house except for the little bit of body wash in the bathtub with the boys, and some expensive shampoo in the bathtub with the girls. So I use the little bit of shampoo for the girls and some of the body wash for all four of them. I’m also trying to find towels and their pajamas for them to change into afterward. All in all, I am frantically running between bathtubs with towels and clothes and soap containers, telling them things like “5 more minutes, and then you have to get out.” I probably looked like a loon. The girls get out first, getting quickly into their pajamas and heading to the kid’s room, which all four of them will be sleeping in. The boys get out second, slowly and with abundant giggles, they insist on letting the bathwater drain first and then having me leave the room for them to change. This whole process takes until 8:25. They still had to brush their teeth, which took around five minutes instead of two or three because the two cousins had no toothbrushes and I had to show them the trick where you use your finger, and then all the kids wanted to use their finger, but eventually it did get done. They were clean and ready for bed.

At bedtime, I read them a book I brought with me, The Sneetches by Dr. Seuss (it’s a favorite that I read to all the kids I babysit). They girls say they’re ready to lay down and sleep. The six-year-old boy is saying he has an erection that hurts very bad, and that he needs to wear a pull- up. I can see he doesn’t have an erection, because he is wearing tight-fitting pants, and I tell him that he doesn’t need a pull-up for that, and that they wouldn’t fit him anyway. The five-year-old boy, who is the only one amongst the four to wear pull-ups at night, says he peed, and needs to switch out his pull-up. I ask if he needs help, he says no, I say ok, and he goes to the bathroom, changes, and returns. By this time the girls have decided they both want to sleep on the bottom bunk of the girl’s bed, and the boys insist on following suit. At this point I am getting tired, so I’m like “You’re probably gonna be uncomfortable, but ok.” I say goodnight, and I leave. The six-year-old is still trying to tell me he needs a pull-up for his erection, he still doesn’t actually have one.

Around fifteen minutes later, I hear some commotion and head back to the kids’ room. All four are awake, the boys are giggling and the girls are telling them to shut up. I tell them, gently, that it’s bedtime and they need to go to sleep. The five-year-old boy needs to switch his pull-up again. He does, and I remind him that if he needs to pee, he can just go to the bathroom, that he should at least try not to pee in his pull-ups. The six-year-old tries to get me to let him wear pull-ups for his fictional erection again, and I remind him that he won’t fit in the pull-ups anyway.

This happens one more time before the kids finally go to bed, and by then it is just past 9:00. I have been keeping the parent’s in the loop via text (“the dog ate the pizza, I’m making quesadillas,” “Do any of the kids have food allergies,” “Where do you usually keep your bath soap/shampoo/conditioner,” “does the six-year-old usually wear pull-ups?” “kids are in bed”), but have yet to get a single response. When 9:30 rolls around– which is half an hour past when the parents said they would be home, and around an hour earlier than I expected them home, my parents text me, asking when they should pick me up. I tell them no parents are home yet, and that I’ll let them know when they are home or on the way. 

At around 10:15, the cousin’s parents come pick them up– the husband is drunk off his ass, but the wife is sober, so I let them drive off without mentioning it. The wife tips me for being late, and I thank her profusely, because you don’t get that a lot from the sober ones. At around 11:30, the parent’s get home, both hilariously drunk, accompanied by a few other adults I have never met. I text my parents, asking them to come pick me up and get no response. This one drunk pair have a conversation that is so incoherent I am laughing. They are so drunk I don’t think they noticed me. A girl hammered enough to trip on nothing tries to drive herself home, we call her an uber. Eventually only the parents are left, and the wife goes to bed. The husband tries to make awkward conversation with me in the living room. I text my parents again and get no response, I am beginning to think they fell asleep. 

The husband calls me to this weird little bar room they have to the left of the entryway and begins to talk to me passionately about how wonderful music is. I am confused and a little annoyed and I text my parents again. Then I call them; they had, in fact, fallen asleep, but now my stepdad was on the way to come get me. The husband is still trying to rile me up about music and how much you can learn about a person from music. He asks if I have a favorite song, I tell him the name of one that is very strange and obscure and usually puts people to sleep (literally, anything: dogs, cats, babies, drunk people, anyone). My stepdad texts that he is close, the husband is getting really amped on this music and he’s saying “Oh my god, this is so amazing, I have goosebumps, holy shit.” I’m beginning to suspect he is high in addition to drunk. 

My stepdad arrives at around midnight, and I am so ready to go home and sleep. When I get home, I make banana bread. 

[kats-randomology]

Shadow Tag was by far his favorite game to play. It was always good fun, watching someone fumble about in the darkness, looking around wildly for any sign of him. Bracing for an attack they couldn't predict, and watching that terror grow with every second until he finally pounced, reducing them to shrieking messes as they fought or simply lay there. Hoping for mercy, begging for it  

 Paddywhack couldn't recall having this much fun with a playmate since the little toy maker in St. Canard. Of course the two couldn't be more different in their reactions; Quackerjack was more panicked, more eager to please and go along with whatever games he'd wanted, begging and crying desperately even when it garnered him NOTHING but ridicule. Oh the fun they'd had, before that caped buffoon interrupted.

 Liu Hai though, he was different.

 His terror and panic manifested into rage and lashing out. He fought tooth and nail, shouted insults and threats, refused to give in without a fight; even when he was on the ground, he never stopped fighting back. 

He kept it up, right up until the snapping of bones. He'd devolved into unintelligible screaming after that. 

 Fortunately for him, being an immortal being/god allowed for speedy healing, but that didn't make the process any less painful, and with as little magic as he had, it was slower than he was likely used to. So he ended up just lying there, soft moans and muttered insults sounding from him every now and then. 

 It was as entertaining as it was frustrating; there had to be SOMETHING that would push him past that final barrier. Something to shatter that stubborn will. No matter how many ribs were cracked, how many times his arm was twisted or jerked from its socket, he still reacted the same. Curses and anger. 

He thought for sure the dislocated fingers would've done it, and it had gotten the toad shrieking and in tears, but alas no real terror. No pleas, no compliance. 

 He had to have SOME weakness that would break him. Something that would finally get him to crack and start playing along in the desperate hope it would earn him mercy. 

 Only then....only then would Paddywhack truly win the game.

 And then he could finally feed.

  :

:

:

 Claustrophobia, of all the things it could have been, it was as simple as that. 

 Granted, it was a combination of that, fear of the dark, and being completely isolated, that really brought out what he was looking for. The terror, the pain, the screaming.

 It was all right here. 

 He watched in amusement, unseen by Liu Hai as the god pressed against the walls. Blind to everything around him, but fully aware that this tiny room-- not even a room, just a small rectangular space, was far too small for his liking and steadily getting smaller as time went on. 

 And the thought was clearly fueling his frantic movements as he tried in vain to force them back. His breathing was labored, too fast to be healthy, and even if there were light in here, the constant waves of tears from his wide eyes would have blinded him anyway. 

 "Let me out! Do you hear me you wang ba?! Get me out of this box and maybe I won't rip your head off!"

 The anger was still there, but it wavered. His voice was unsteady, clearly from his panic breaking through. 

 "I'm not playing games, let me out of here! Now!"

 He was so close, so close to the edge....Paddywhack drooled at the thought. He remained silent though, despite his yearning to taunt him. He had to be patient, after all...

:

:

:

 He’d been shouting for hours, losing bite with each one passed. The room had shrunk to barely enough room for him to sit in. When he’d had to crouch, because the ceiling had lowered too far, his rage had paused, as if realizing just how little room he had left. He’d quickly resumed, but it was there.

The true fear.

:

:

:

 When he was forced to draw his legs in, when he could no longer push back and he was trapped in his huddled state, did his shouting finally shift. No longer was it just angry words and empty threats.

 It was as undone as he was.

 "Let me out!! I know you can hear me, demon, let me out of here!"

 He drew the walls ever slightly tighter, inciting the smallest of whimpers. So close....

 "Let me out....let me...I-I can't..."

 His breathing was shallow; he could see the panicked look in his eyes, see the terror and desperation as he drew it in. His knees were digging into his throat at this point, only adding to difficulty of his breathing. 

 His voice had raised quite a few octaves the next he shouted.

 "Let me out!!! Let me out let me out, please...!"

 There.

 Finally, a please.

 The walls stopped; after a tense moment, they slowly pulled back, allowing him enough space to uncurl, but just barely. Paddywhack finally made himself known, eyes lighting up the darkness with their red hue. 

 "Ohhh I'm sorry, what was that? Couldn't quite make it out..."

 Now given some reprieve, Liu Hai's eyes regained some of their fire, though it was nothing impressive with the tears tracking down his face.

 "Y-you....you will release me...!"

 "Mmm....no, I don't think that was it."

 The walls were abruptly drawn in again, the suddenness causing a yelp to slip out as his legs jammed into his chest and throat. Paddywhack giggled as he moved closer, uninhibited by the tiny space as he was the darkness in it. 

 "Try again..."

 "You....you won't get away with this...!"

 "Ten seconds before I reduce this to a sardine can."

 "I will END you--!"

 "7....6..."

 "You won't win! You won't....stop....stop it...!"

 "5..."

 "Stop...make it....stop..."

 "4...3..."

 "Make it stop, I can't....I ca..."

 "2..."

 He'd gone silent, but just before Paddywhack could announce the last second, a tiny voice spoke out.

 "...please...please make it stop...."

 The walls stopped once more, but remained where they were. Paddywhack pressed closer, any space he might've had left reduced even further as the demon hissed out a laugh in his face.

 "Ahhh, I see...not having much fun, are we? What a shame, I'm having a great time!"

 "Let me out...let me out please..."

 "Hmm, I don't know...I'd hate to call off this game before you had any fun..."

 Liu Hai looked up then, his only method of direction being the red eyes. His eyes were fearful but lacked focus, clearly verging on delirium. His breathing was even shallower than before, chest tight, mind in a haze from oxygen loss.

 "Please I can't....I ca...breathe......please..."

 A few moments passed in near silence, save for his frantic, stuttered breathing. Finally, Paddywhack flashed a grin of sharp teeth, and snapped his fingers. 

 The walls were gone, and the light returned; Liu Hai yelped as he abruptly fell backward, hitting soft warm sand. He drew in deep, ragged breaths, unable to do anything else but. 

 Paddywhack watched him, a satisfied grin on his beak. He drew closer, uttering a soft giggle, and catching the stuttering toad's attention. His wild eyes cracked open, still adjusting to the light, to find him hovering above. He appeared to be regaining some fire, and slowly but surely a calmer state of mind. He moved to speak, but Paddywhack cut him off, pressing a finger to his lips.

 "You should save your breath."

 He glowered, but seemed to consider the statement, remaining silent. Paddywhack sneered, removing his hand to instead poke at his stomach.

 "It's a shame you lost all your girth; can you imagine the fun we'd have in that little box then?"

 Closer he moved, forcing Liu Hai to press back into the sand in desperate hopes of gaining SOME space.

 "How I'd love to see you go pop!" 

 A light blush spread as he spat out a retort.

 "You miserable, dirt eating wretch from the blackest pit, I'll rip your eyes from your skull and force them down your throat--!"

 The sand suddenly shifted, moving to cover his mouth, followed by his hands when he attempted to pry himself free. Paddywhack grinned maliciously, and lightly tapped his nose.

 "I've already tried that once, quite tasty, really. As for you...I think you need some more time in the box."

 The sand rose up, and he gave a desperate, muffled yell, fear returning as it swallowed him, pulling him down into its depths. 

 Paddywhack chuckled to himself, and took a seat on a nearby ball, mulling over various ideas. 

Maybe have him lying down this time, like he was in a coffin. That was sure to get him screaming! Even a god wasn’t immune to the fear of being buried alive. He could hardly wait to check in on him.

 Take in the adorable screams and desperate tears and wild movements as he tried to free himself. Oh, maybe nip at his feet! Really get him worked into a frenzy.

 Maybe even manifest himself in the space; being trapped in a confined space was already a nightmare. Being trapped in a confined space with something actively out for your blood and torment? Ohhh yes....

 The fun they were going to have...