#the setup. the suspense. the way you think he's not actually gonna do it

[masteraqua]

also the calypso's birthday episode ruled for a lot of reasons but stede murdering ned low? that ruled the hardest

[itsdappleagain]

WOOHOO! Let's kick off #csweekly!

I think I'll dump all of my thoughts onto one post as we go along...and I have a lot of thoughts so sorry this is gonna be LONG

Firstly, before I start the episode, AAA I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS!!! I haven't actually truly rewatched CS in sooo long

Okay, let's go. Why don't we ever talk about the intros? Like the grabbing of the hat and then later that as part of the black and white/red intro sequence? MWAH.

Chase's headlights illuminate spots on the screen when they turn towards the "camera!"

I love this introduction to the entire show. It really makes us feel like we're part of this mystery, investigating this thief with Chase and Julia (until...well...everything gets directly told to us via flashbacks 8 minutes in..). It tells us everything we basically need to know about how Carmen operates in like 30 seconds.

Let's take a moment to appreciate the art style of this show....oh my gosh. The lighting the texturing the lineless agh its so good

I guess I haven't thought about it for a little while, but I guess Chase slamming on the breaks is supposed to fake us out thinking that he has seen Carmen's shadow. It sets up how idiotic of a detective he is, while Julia is observant and actually makes connections. I really like this early (VERY early) setup to how their relationship is going to work. However, at the same time, the show is really gunning for us to root for Julia when she starts infodumping. Chase is clearly the asshole. I can't help but wondering, though, if the show undercuts the importance of Julia's research by IMMEDIATELY cutting away to something "more interesting" (Carmen) as soon as she starts talking. What do you think?

I like how Carmen just shoots out of the alleyway and looks at them for a solid minute. She's just like 👁️👁️ i mean we KNOW it doesn't take her that long to use her grappling hook. She was just watching them

LA FEMME ROGUE

Chase's damage of cars starts at not even 2 minutes into the entire show <3

anyway

CARMEN'S DRAMATIC CHARACTER INTRO MY BELOVED <3

ALSO another shoutout to the SCORE OH MY GOD RELEASE AN OST CS TEAM

when you think about it does player's character intro ever seem a little clumsy to you? ooh yeah its player glad to hear he's on board girl you've known him for years girl. girl. he's always on board.

i love player's robots and machines everywhere <3

YEAH SORRY. SCORE AND ANIMATION AGAIN WHEN SHE'S RUNNING ACROSS THE ROOFTOPS. FRAMED BY THE MOON? OUGH

she's so unnecessary <3 you did not have to swing that grappling hook around like a whip but im so glad you did girlie

i adore how her usb is disguised like a lipstick as if subtlety was ever her thing ever. like when on earth would someone catch her in the full red coat and fedora and then be like "oh ok well there's nothing suspicious here other than the grappling hook, hang glider, and taser so I'll let you go ok

PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR LIKE YOU REALLY DONT CARE ABOUT THIS RANDOM OTHER SIGNAL THAT COULD GET YOU KILLED

OUGH THE LIGHTING WHEN SHE'S DROPPING DOWN FROM THE CEILING

just. just move. you could have just moved out of the way

her hat bending upwards when she's listening against the fake atrium <3

i love carmen's jokes about player being a little internet cave troll do we ever get more of those?? i feel like we don't and I wish we did. their dynamic is so fun when its just the two of them, which is like. never again

sorry. gina's vocal fry when she says "job." that is all

the elevator gag is actually so funny

imagine not taking the stairs 5-9 at a time. chase doesn't skip leg day smh

i love the feeling of suspense this safe cracking gives us paired with chase running up to arrest her. its fun because she gets to show off and have a lot of fun with him. but at the same time, we rarely get this feeling of suspense again when it comes to confrontations- only big boss battles like Coach Brunt, Shadow-san, and cold weather

chase used his whole entire face to ram through that door

the bag tightening is so iconic i can only be grateful that she does it again later on in the show

chase: ive never had one run AT me before

does anyone ever hear the sound that chase's hair makes when it gets slicked back? because it is a SQUISH. his hair is. so saturated with gel that his hair SQUISHES

i like how it takes chase a sec when she's reading his name from the badge I like to think he thinks he's just THAT well known of an agent that she knows him

i also like that he just stands there for a sec after she grapples through the ceiling like shit now what

free him

carmen is funny i will give her that. she can also FLY apparently because she' jumping like 25 feet no problem

the grabbing of her hat as she jumps off backwards and the backwards smirk and the oh my god im so gay ok

also julia. and the horror on chase's face dhfas

dark carmen let carmen be mean, hot, and speak other languages more and that is why i want her to come back please

chase what in the goddamn fuck

ever think about how chase landing on this car right now eventually led to julia joining acme because i do

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CARMEN SANDIEGO (TITLE CARD) (THEME MUSIC). YES BARK BARK OUGSHDFH BARK

see chase can be smart but like that one tumblr post he can be blindingly intelligent for a minute a day and he does not get to choose when that is

CARMEN CHANGING AS THE TRAIN GOES BY INTO HER CIVILIAN OUTFIT IS SOOO ICONIC

chase continuing to ruin the car as he drives along and keeps failing is the funniest fucking thing. the comedic timing of the airbag.

THE DOUBT ON JULIA'S FACE WHEN CHASE CALLS HER "JULIA" AND COMPLIMENTS HER KILLS ME EVERY TIME

driving aggressively, of course

chase is responsible for 85% of carmen's stupid nicknames on the wiki and i love him for that

i think its half funny and half sad that carmen doesn't do anything to defend herself when gray aims the crackle rod at her. its a trend with people she thinks she can trust: she still sees him as her brother, not someone who would kill her, stun her, etc.

i love the dramatic dropping of the bag just because gray esentially gave her the equivalent electric shock of rubbing a balloon against your hair

something i dislike about carmen's character is that whenever it matters carmen is ALWAYS one step ahead of whoever doing whatever. they couldn't have had us start off by seeing her as flawed but competent, cocky but still human by having gray track her here. it would have immediately set VILE up as a real threat. but instead its just the girlboss badass gray is an idiot moment. idk

i like how they had to do the match cut but they also had to make black sheep excited so they just had blacksheep go >:) and then as soon as coach brunt used her vocal cords she went :D !!!!

why is the program only one year is my question

where does coach get all of the phones to dramatically smash

black sheep, at this time knowing full ass well that she has a contraband phone when brunt smashes one: U👄U

she said SNATCH

gray laughs with all of his teeth out

they gave black sheep insecurities about her past with gray solely so they could show us black sheep having those insecurities about her past with gray to gray by black sheep

google says it takes roughly two hours to go from poitiers to paris by train. just a fun fact

hang on why was carmen going to paris by train? they didn't even have indonesia scheduled until she got there. why didn't she take zack and ivy to poitiers?? why was their rendezvous two hours away?? why didn't ivy have ANY TIME AT ALL TO GET ZACK A SNACK?? WHY DIDN'T ZACK HAVE TIME TO GET A SNACK

the biggest nesting doll has some weird inconsistency with the burn design- sometimes its there, sometimes it isn't. i wonder why carmen never ever brings it up though?

little black sheep is so cute

actually though these are some of my least favorite parts- the big long flashbacks. in my opinion, it would have been interesting to find out about carmen's past as we went along...maybe through ivy or something, or just little tidbits. like we'd get some basic information- that she used to be with VILE- but we would uncover the details with the detectives and her team. idk. little me when i first watched this show was SO confused by the flashbacks but then again my comprehension for shit is SO BAD. i literally had no clue what was going on

that nanny just standing by as carmen smears an entire tube of lipstick on the walls

LITTLE CARMEN IS SO CUTE

its very interesting how they wash out black sheep's hair when she's in VILE spaces to fit with the color schemes that are such a prominent part of this show.

little carmen was also an asshole wheeze

THEY ARE D I V I N G OUT OF THE WAY guess they learned from notyourpants guy

girl i dont think your legs are supposed to do that

why is the captain just putting claws up like what were you going to do maul her

the poor captain got the short end of the stick every single time

carmen stole someone's wedding ring so true

the crop top with the overalls is my FAVORITE outfit of black sheep's omg

carmen, like every single other teenager, drew giant eyeballs on her papers

absolutely incredible that carmen who has at this point pressed a few buttons on a phone once knows how to text and call no problem

player, calling random places: what is your full name and address please. well i know your address but what is your full name

ALSO player's room accumulating all that stuff in the years that go by is so cute

can you imagine. player just usually gives out his real name and the only reason he didn't this time was because carmen had a weird ass name

"thats a thing" HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A HACKER IS

also how does she know what right and wrong is

lets imagine for a second player called some faculty phone line or something and professor maelstrom got this ten year old asking to aid the biggest crime network in the world just because he could and also knew nothing at all

kinda cool that they put in the weird...sewer grate or whatever that carmen later escapes out of in the shot where she's on the beach

maelstrom changes hand positions from when he asks black sheep why she requested an audience (hands clasped with thumbs up and touching) to when he says to enroll (villain steepled fingers) and then he goes back to the first on the wide shot

i admire how organically they introduce the names of all the faculty in this scene

appreciation for "the gurl is fehhahhral"

AND THEN HE GOES BACK TO STEEPLE FINGERS

i enjoy how harsh the lighting is in the faculty room. its just white on the characters

i LOVE rewatching these episodes with the lens of shadowsan's REAL motivations mmmm

i also like how black sheep really thinks about shadowsan's words

MAEL WENT BACK TO THUMBS UP CLASPED HANDS ITS ok whatever

why don't the music notes line up with the faculty raising their hands after two or three sob

where does shadowsan even walk off to. is there a door over there or does he just awkwardly scoot off and through the big doors

what the hell are even in front of black sheep's dorms a tennis court??

also i thought those dorms were where her room was where is she moving from

she tied her whole globe up with rope to walk 100 feet

mime bomb being in the background for all of this <3

i like all of the VILE Class's introductions. EL Topo is kind, Le Chevre is a bit dismissive but courteous, and Tigress is...well she's happy until she says her name and then she's a bitch about everything forever and ever

"but were you seeing things from my point of view" actually what other perspective are you giving him here

get rekt aussie boy

so upset they changed this design. the eyeliner, the fluffy hair, the red hair clip. they're so good. she's so cute. all of the young designs are cute actually

they didn't have to animate sheena's ass swaying like that

he's from australia??? really????

i like how gray was just working the soundboards one day and his pay was so bad that he was like "fuck. yeah man I'm breaking every single law. ever."

where the hell did the black on that sheep origami come from. the paper was white on both sides??

shadowsan has the best damn view on the island look at that

cleo's dress. cleo's voice. cleo's

why do they market as an import/export company if they immediately begin training as thieves. why does "villains international league of evil" matter at all

shadowsan has the only class that uses other students. the rest of the classes are main character only. so sad

my favorite part of carmen sandiego is the way they one moment don't allow the characters to say the word kill but in maelstrom's classroom he has human bones and a whole ass brain on display and then they shoot a man dead

no idea how maelstrom dropped his briefcase so that it landed on the other side of tigress's

also i love how they set up some of the two most used concepts in the entire show here: bait and switch and always protect the face

gray is blind we love him for that. she is holding a phone and gas earbuds in.

where did she get earbuds from

point and laugh

so true of le chevre to kick off the stilts the show should have let him win that one, not bs

the poor captain has gone entirely white-haired from this yearly encounter with a child

rita moreno bee cosplay

el topo's laugh is so genuine <3

what was their detention anyway? sit and talk? come up with codenames? seems more like a reward to me

imagine if gray named himself power failure and everyone called him failure

gray is a giraffe

i love the dig at old witwics with the puns for names jkdsghdsa

le chevre is very comfortable on that pole

mime bomb. that is all

class of vile, after a year of sharing a dorm with mime bomb: who the fuck are you

he's iconic

all of the different teacher rooms are sooo cool i love their designs. and once agains color theory coming through with shadowsan's red room!!!

i also like that students get to take exams with their operative gear, as it plays into how effective they will be in the field. however, what happens if someone doesn't graduate?? what happens to all their specialized gear??

she sacrificed a leg for ass. sad :(

i like how tigress acts like a cat

GET SLAPPED TIGRESS

that scrap of fabric flew SO FAR

that little wink tigress does <3

i like how shadowsan has another coat ready and waiting. who's hurt him in the past. he learned

black sheep no don't walk into the camera wait blacwfhghgfh

gray after black sheep failed so hard that she blew the entire year's worth of schooling: damn girl you're so good. best ever actually

i like how they all have to trace their names over to see if they passed like what are you getting lost on the way also getting these grades is exactly like seeing who got cast for the school musical

rip to the random background ops who failed

gray's face is actually just D:

the dutch angle dolly zoom is SOOO GOOD

tigress is still a high school mean girl. elementary school, even. the big kid's table. no children allowed

"looks like someone needs to turn in their stealth suit" black sheep she/they confirmed and sheena respects pronouns

"COME ON LET'S GO PLOT A CAPER" that is so funny to me because vile operatives as we see later NEVER, EVER PLOT THEIR OWN CAPERS

why is carmen's nose so tiny

anyway

seeing black sheep look so short next to shadowsan is so sweet considering she's almost as tall as him later <3

"are you accusing a criminal, thievery, and breaking the law teacher of cheating"

mime bomb for goodness sake. i love the animation of his face emerging from the shadows though

HOW DID SHE SNEAK ONTO THAT HELICOPTER I WILL NEVER KNOW

does anyone know whether CS uses 3d elements for some of their bigger objects like cars, helicopters, the vault door etc.

i like how vile school is completely entirely out in the open not disguised at all

gray: bye bye black sheep black sheep, from the shadows: HAVE YOU ANY WOOL

THE CREDIT MUSIC <3

OKAY so that was my post on the first episode. will they all be this long? who knows. probably. maybe. i'm so excited for this

[lady-fey]

Don’t Abuse Suspension of Disbelief

Today, at 11am GMT, the Bank of England was robbed, a massive prison break occurred at Pentonville Prison, and someone helped themselves to the Crown Jewels. How did the thief do it? A computer program that can break through any security system.

None of this actually happened, btw. It’s merely the setup for The Reichenbach Fall, the season finale of BBC’s Sherlock’s second season, which will serve as today’s object lesson for a thing that I occasionally come across. A thing that you really should avoid at all costs: taking advantage of suspension of disbelief.

If you know even a little bit about computer security, you know that the above setup is total BS. No such program could possibly exist. Application code varies wildly, so it’s impossible to have one program that can hack any application. Even though you know that, you’d probably still be fine watching this episode because you’re willing to ignore reality for the sake of a good story.

That willingness to ignore reality is called ‘suspension of disbelief’ and it’s a vital part of the bond between writer and audience. The audience knows that your story is fiction, not fact, but they’re willing to play along and believe your BS because they assume that the BS is needed for the story to work. Which is why the ending of The Reichenbach Fall is such a massive writing error. For those who haven’t seen the show (and I don’t recommend it), this is the twist: There is no key, DOOFUS!... You don’t really think a couple of lines of computer code are gonna crash the world around our ears? I’m disappointed.

That’s right, the twist of The Reichenbach Fall is that we weren’t supposed to suspend our disbelief. The thing that couldn’t actually exist doesn’t actually exist and how silly were you for thinking that it could?

I should now note that there is no point in The Reichenbach Fall where hints are dropped that the code doesn’t exist. It’s treated as a real threat right up until the twist, meaning that the twist only works because it’s jerking us back to reality and saying, “Get out of fantasy land, this thing obviously couldn’t be real!” 

This is terrible storytelling for two reasons: it insults your audience and it makes your story feel pointless.

The audience never actually believed that the code could exist in the real world, but they were willing to believe that, in your story, such a code could exist because everyone was acting like it could. When you drop the bomb that the story world works by real-world logic, you aren’t pulling a shocking twist. Instead, you are making fun of your audience for trusting you because the only reason they believed the BS was because they thought that you needed them to for the sake of the story.

You’ve also ruined your story and made your characters look like idiots because the audience is left wondering why anyone ever believed in the computer code. How did no one know the real way that the robberies were done? Surely there had to be an investigation? Why did the Sherlock ever think the code could be a thing? He’s supposed to be smart, right?

All of the above is why I strongly encourage writers to avoid this type of twist at all costs. If the big reveal is that your fantasy world follows real-world rules, then that needs to be something that the story tells you because the audience is there for the story. They’re there to play pretend with you and part of your job as a storyteller is honoring that. If you're not dropping hints that set up the twist, then you've failed to tell a good story.

[soulterri]

Ryan tuerck s13 bashbar

He put the KA turbo in and started driving it at the local events out west. So he bought the 24 Hours Of Lemons car that me, Tony, Vaughn and Chris all went in on. Well, not destroy it, but take it out to smash bumpers and corner panels and everything. Me, Tony Angelo and Chris Forsberg pretty much started it. Chris was actually the first one that decided that he was gonna buy a crap car and just destroy it. I think it was kind of like a co-op thing. What’s going on with your missile car? Who do you think started the whole North American missile crisis? Larry: Okay, so now onto my favorite car. I don’t think I’m gonna find anything quite like that, but I’ve got some other ideas that can be equally as entertaining and fun to watch. I went to him to try and see if I could rent the property and his insurance company shut me down. The venue I used got purchased by somebody. Larry: So, are you planning another off-season video? Hopefully it will be 100 percent ready to go by then. Next week at East Coast Bash will be the true test. I pretty much haven’t driven that car since the off-season. I originally built it for another car, but since my motor was grenaded I just said screw it, I’m gonna put this 1Jz in the car. Luckily I had a 1Jz just sitting around from another car that I purchased and everything was just ready to bolt in. He grenaded the whole engine on me when I was at SEMA. I had an SR in there for the off-season video, and my buddy borrowed it and destroyed it. The lip and over-fenders really shows everything off. I really wanted to build an eye-catcher and I always wanted deep-dish wheels, so I got the Works on there. I wanted a nice paintjob on it and I didn’t want to worry about getting it destroyed from drifting. The concept for my black car was just to have a super clean 240 that’s not for Formula D. You were actually laying fresh tire marks. I loved that there were not a million tire marks on the ground. I remember seeing it in the off-season video. But if I had those options, I would definitely consider that if I could put the right sponsors in place. So It would be very costly and a NA is definitely the best way to go as far as affordability and reliability. But that would require some of those super-expensive Garrett turbos and changing them literally every two events. Ryan: Yeah, because I’ve never driven an anti-lag setup and I’m thinking it probably would be on a par, the amount of torque and that you could get out of it. Larry: Wow, really? Versus building a naturally aspirated car? I always wanted to do a really cool turbo setup with some legit anti-lag on it… Ryan: If I built one from the ground up? I don’t know, if I had an option to do different things I would think about doing maybe a turbo engine, depending on what kind of budget I had. Larry: So, what would you do differently if you built one from the ground-up for competition? I never had that kind of stuff on a 240 before.įrom a competition standpoint I had high-end parts when I was driving for Gardella but I’d never had that before on a 240sx, so it’s one of the best cars with that particular chassis. We got some really good suspension parts from KW on there, and Part Shop Max hooked us up with their rear-drop knuckles that helps out with the bump-steer correction. In fact it’s probably one of the best 240s I ever drifted just from the simple fact that it’s got a lot of really nice parts on it, a good engine and a great transmission. I applied all my knowledge into that car, you know? After drifting all these years I’ve learned a thing or two about the 240sx chassis. Ryan: Yeah, I definitely took it under my wing. I’ve taken it upon myself to adjust the suspension as well as other things myself and I’ve made the car competitive this year compared to how it has been in years past. Ryan: The competition car… That’s the only one that I don’t personally own, but I guess you can say it’s mine as I do most of the work to it. Larry: I see you have brought all three of your drift cars. Would the real Ryan Tuerck please stand up? I had a chance to sit down with him to talk about the three similar yet very different drift machines. Ryan Tuerck is leading a triple life at the moment, with his Formula Drift persona mirrored by his off-season hooning and missile car madness – the latter ably abetted by Tony Angelo, Chris Forsberg and Vaughn Gittin Jr. Ryan lives just a half a day drive away from Wall Speedway so when Formula Drift came into town he decided to bring all three of his drift cars along.

[writeouswriter]

You know what, I’m not an editor so maybe my opinion doesn’t matter too much, but I am a reader and after all these years I’m going to say it: I don’t think having your characters waking up or starting their day is necessarily a bad way to start a story, especially one in which your protagonist’s whole world is about to change but hasn’t changed yet.

Every writing advice site and their mother will always tell you to “start where the story actually starts,” but that doesn't mean anything because sometimes, the story starts before the story starts. That’s the whole point. The protagonist is going through their daily routine because the protagonist doesn’t know something is about to go down, but you do. You know this is a story. You know this is the last time they’ll wake up like this, thinking everything is fine, maybe the last time they see their home, the last time they talk to their parents, the last time they have a semblance of a normal, quote unquote "mundane" life. But it’s only mundane until it’s ripped away from them. And you don't know how or when that's going to happen.

Remember a little thing called setup? Suspense? You can’t shake up the status quo without first establishing said status quo, right? Sure, you sprinkle in little hints about what's to come, but it's nice to also show a hint of what came before, to say this is what the ground looks like, now this is what us breaking the ground looks like. Personally, I like to see the transition, I like to be pulled into the story and mystery at the same time as the protagonist. I like to be able to find my footing in the familiar while still knowing that I'm standing on the edge of a perilous, crumbling rocky cliff of the unfamiliar. I mean, you’re not gonna start when Wile E. Coyote is already halfway off the cliff looking down at the canyon, are you? You’re gonna start right before he runs off. Just like you’re not gonna start with the punchline of the joke before the setup.

Of course, I'm not saying this applies to every piece of writing. In media res and starting mid-action and etc. can be a super effective tool if that's what you want, too, (Emperor's New Groove, anyone?), but I'm saying the alternative is not always inferior despite what they lead you to believe, and like anything, it can be handled successfully as well as poorly.

[reynie-muldoons]

'The Dance of the Celestial Orb' liveblog!

for real this time lmfao

book and show spoilers below

I'm ✨nervous✨ please let our children be okay

0:10 this Sticky arc hurts me so kuch

1:35 this music is BUMPIN

2:22 I just wanna know how she got under there without the dude seeing her

2:47 "all systems go" for the Improvement.... yikes 😬😬😬

2:55 she didn't wait even 5 seconds after they left, the door was still closing when she popped up 😂 can you imagine if one of them doubled back right at that moment

3:18 they look like the dudes from that veggietales movie, I think it was Esther- the island of perpetual tickling?? Anyone??? 😂😂😂

4:00 Kate vented.......

4:51 "not a rat" yeah no shit

5:07 if not for the suspense, I would be jamming out lmaooo

6:10 Mr. Benedict is looking at the shoreline, is he about to watch Kate dive in???? Because I mean that's where she's gotta be going

6:20 "memory challenges"? Is Rhonda talking about Milligan's amnesia, or has short term memory been affected as well??

6:29 .....thank you for answering so efficiently 😂

6:42 "I buy it. I completely.... buy it." RHONDA THAT'S NOT HELPFUL AHSKSHDJKD

6:56 can you imagine seeing your friend go down in a sub then hours later seeing the sub float up in fucking PIECES

7:06 KATE! KATE! KATE! KATE!

7:06 please let it be reunion time

7:25 oh hello that's a drop

7:38 *to the tune of Bezos I* come on Katie u can do it pave the way put ur back into it

7:51 she craves that mineral

8:06 Sticky, my child

8:20 oh my gosh they went out and LOOKED FOR HER I care them 😭😭😭

8:23 SHE KNEW HIS DREAM SHE KNEW HIS DREAM TELEPATH TELEPATH TELEPATH

8:34 STICKY STOPPPP

8:40 "jumping to conclusions is a failure of character" wow that really is something Curtain would say

8:52 angry Reynie. He is in rare form

8:54 "and you helped put her there!" OOOOOOOH I SCREAMED

9:03 "I shouldn't have yelled" okay but you kinda should have Sticky needs a wake up call

9:06 "dont apologize. I like this side of you." IS THIS THE START OF REYNIE AND CONSTANCE HAVING THE BEST SIBLING RELATIONSHIP

9:22 "if you really cared about me, you'd want me to be happy instead of standing there telling me who I am" oh Sticky my dude I am NOT digging the manipulation

9:36 Reynie pulling out the BFF card!!! Also Reynie digging in his feet because he knows he's right!!!! That's great setup for his arc as a strategist later

9:48 "I'm telling you, Kate's fine." Narrator: Kate was not, in fact, fine.

10:03 "they'll notice." Sticky has made one (1) good point.

10:11 oh dear god are they fingerprinting this bitch

10:19 all this equipment, has no one walked up to the cliff and looked down???

10:23 HAHAHAHA WAIT THEY ACTUALLY HAVEN'T

10:27 "we've been out here all night" that means Kate has been clinging to a cliff by her fingers and toes ALL NIGHT????

11:04 babe I know it's been a long night but maybe wait a second for them to actually leave before you climb back up

11:15 BUCKET NO

11:22 she has to go get it. There's no way someone wouldn't find that shit, it's in plain view

11:37 "WAS"???? WHY ARE WE SAYING WAS????? NO PAST TENSE HERE MILLIGAN'S FINE

11:43 "I only wish we could've known him better" NOOOPE NONONO WE'RE NOT DOING THIS

11:47 Rhonda back at it as the voice of reason!!!!!

11:59 "I have never met a more competent swimmer" throwback to "the baaAAAYYYY"

12:10 MR. BENEDICT'S FACE HAHAHAHA HOLD ON LET ME TAKE A PICTURE IM DYING

12:11 NUMBER TWO, NOT HELPING

12:14 RHONDA'S FACE HAHENDJDKDN

12:33 "we will go rescue him" because of COURSE he would

12:36 Rhonda is his best wingwoman omfg she's so consistent

12:54 MISS PERUMAL??????

12:56 MISS PERUMAL!!!!!!

13:00 SHE KNOWS HE'S RIGHT GAKSHDBDHEKSNND

13:09 "how hard can it be? It's an island!" PFFFFT

13:16 oh SQ baby boy please get out of there

13:25 "I certainly have my own suspicions" he said, looking at SQ why are you looking at SQ like that

13:31 SQ GET OUT OF THERE PLEASE IS2G

13:36 here we fuckin go

13:43 the captions have the f in forest capitalized like it's this special place

13:43 new hc that the Forest is a magical place like pixie hollow

13:57 TWO THINGS: 1. YES stand up for yourself baby!!!! 2. Shepard Quaid? Interesting! I don't think we ever got SQ's full name in the books, I hope TLS made that decision!

14:08 your "father hat"??? Oh my gosh shut the fuck up right there don't even continue

14:16 oh yeah real fuckin cute put on your "steward of this institution hat" and call that a good reason to be a shit person

14:43 "No." GOOD FOR HIMMMM GOOD JOB SQ

15:03 Kate's struggling right by the shore where a certain someone would be returning after a very hard swim, it would be a great time for a meeting wouldn't you think

15:09 KATE THE GREAT

15:11 "THE TRAPESE GODDESS" I WILL REFER TO HER AS NOTHING ELSE

15:26 sorry but that green screen of her falling was kinda funny

15:28 soooooo is someone, a very certain someone, gonna catch her...??????

15:36 YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

15:43 IS THIS IT????@?@?!?

15:46 awww poor baby girl you can tell how tired she is

15:46 just putting this out there- they look so good in frame together

15:46 the actor who plays Milligan is fucking huge in stature so I wasn't sure how that would go but it looks so good

16:00 THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT HER WITH HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER I CANT DO THISSSSS

16:20 "keep going." 😭😭😭😭😭

16:23 "you dont understand." Ohhhh I think he does

16:25 "I think I do." What did I tell you, he's got your back babygirl

16:45 I'm so glad she's talking this out, and with Milligan of all people

17:01 it makes so much sense for Kate to feel alone in that situation, and when Kate feels anything less than positive she goes and does something, whatever that something is.

17:05 "So.. I...." "fell off a cliff and nearly died." Thanks for putting things into perspective Milligan

17:05 Milligan is such a good dad stop

17:19 "most of the way" is an understatement LMFAO

17:29 I'm so glad we know the intimate details of Milligan's illustrious swimming abilities 😂 out of all the new things wfrom the show that one wasnt on my radar

17:52 leave it to Milligan to come up with an escape plan off of an island with no water vessel with four kids in tow

18:08 THEYRE SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭

18:08 lowkey I'm super surprised they didnt take this opportunity to have Milligan's arduous swim force his memories out and have the father daughter bonding time they deserve. I hope they give that moment ample time to flesh out.

18:13 BUCKET!!!

18:13 wait that shot is so artsy hold up lmfao

18:13 this looks like someone's photography final hahahaha

18:26 THE TENDER MUSIC STOPPPP 😭😭😭

18:41 Sticky is still on that jumping to conclusions bs he got from Curtain

18:44 WETHERALL'S WIDGET 😭

19:31 "Kate... she's in danger..." NO SHIT SHERLOCK

19:36 "and it's all because of me." Not just because of you but love to see you taking responsibility

19:52 once again I am asking WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS IN THE OPEN

20:26 "Kate. She has changed." "Not really. She's always been who she is." "Her clothes. She changed clothes." PFFFT HAHHAHA they really took a moment of self-reflection and made it so much better

20:55 AYYYYY KATE'S DEPENDENCY ARC CONTINUESSSSS

21:35 yikes yikes yikes

22:16 I love that Mr. Benedict got closure in telling Miss Perumal that her words stuck with him

22:40 the way she just knows Reynie took the position of leader 😭😭

22:54 SHE WROTE HIM A LETTERRR

23:02 "Would it be possible to get this to him?" Ma'am what part of undercover spy don't you get

23:54 it's still really weird that we are now in a position where Reynie is the one who is not trusted and Sticky is the one in Curtain's favor

24:13 and here we see Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues shining through

24:21 "the little things matter. Every minor detail, it all matters!" CALLBACK TO MR. BENEDICT TELLING THE CHILDREN THAT THEY ALL MATTER

24:55 "I can tell with complete accuracy when a person is lying." first of all, no. second of all, I cannot wait for him to talk to Constance.

26:33 why is Mr. Benedict graphically explaining the children's potential trauma so funny to me

26:40 "you're catastrophizing." "Yes. I am. Quite severely. Thank you." WHY IS THIS FUNNY

26:58 MADGE!!!!

27:16 she's so prettyyyyy

27:33 GOOD JOB MADGE!!!!!

27:36 wait did she just take the LETTER??? she's delivering the LETTER?????

28:05 WHAT DOES "OKAY FINE" MEAN??? REYNIE??????

28:22 it's sad because it's true 🥺

28:24 "I miss my teacher from the orphanage" the best lies are the ones rooted in truth 🥺🥺🥺

28:48 roll credits

29:16 Reynie honey Orion's Belt isn't on the ceiling

29:29 the way he was so confident that he had it right 😑 Curtain Stop Being a Pretentious Fuck challenge

29:52 our babygirl is so smartttt

29:55 did Milligan plant his prints 😳 oh no OH NO

29:57 MARTINA???? WHATSUEJHDKD

29:57 is this the replacement for when they pin cheating on her????

30:03 THE KEY CARD!!!!

30:11 MADGEEEE

30:21 "one attacked me as a small child" honey you are a small child

30:24 "it did not win," she said, smiling menacingly

30:40 "so we dance again" WHY DID THE MUSIC REV UP WHEN SHE SAID THAT HAHAHAHA

31:01 ✨woodworking is a passion✨

31:58 "was it functional?" "Well I guess that depends on how you define functionality" RHONDA'S FACE IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHA

32:10 OH HEY MARTINA

32:17 wait 🥺

32:22 that has to be SQ :)

32:28 hi sweet boy

32:34 please tell me they did that shot of the sandwich because Madge is about to take it

32:39 LMFAOOOOO

32:44 hi good girl!!! Enjoy your snackies

32:50 oh god oh no the LETTER

33:25 oh wow we're doing this NOW??

33:52 and here we see another example of Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues bubbling to the surface

34:10 hey what if you uhhh weren't such an asshole

34:33 that man's voice is buttery

34:52 REYNIE'S TRYING TO TELL SQ????

35:02 and they're talking about this right in front of the office door, WHY??

35:24 AND THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE OFFICE DOOR, WHY????

35:55 he's letting him go 🥺🥺🥺🥺

36:14 why does that look like a body bag

36:17 oh my gosh it definitely is a body bag, hey Martina

36:25 yep, that's about what I expected

36:36 "whoever did this to me, they're gonna pay" oh girl do I have some bad news for you

37:12 ahhhh, so Martina is the burnt out gifted kid who keeps going out of spite and sheer force of will

37:12 everything makes much more sense now

37:30 ohhhhh my gosh feelings time

37:44 "I think it's awesome." "Yeah. I know you do." THE SHIPPERS ARE THRIVING

37:54 THEY REALLY WANT TO MAKE THIS AS PAINFUL AS POSSIBLE HUH

38:10 "it's the least I can do" that's an understatement 😬

38:14 AAWWWWW SHKSHSLSBDK

38:20 "I don't know what I'd do without you, Wetherall" STOPPPPP

38:30 HEY BUD UH MAYBE CLOSE YOUR DOOR???

38:38 he's been writing letters to her every night and now he finally gets one back 😭😭

39:34 so Miss Perumal wrote this letter with the intention of it being sent to him, right- why did she write it like that?? 😂

39:34 they've gone to such lengths to communicate in code but the letter kind of undermines that- it was written in such a way that an onlooker would know Reynie was a spy but wouldn't know what he was doing or why. No wonder SQ was pissed

39:41 KATE!!

40:10 BREAKING NEWS: local bastard man treats everyone like shit

40:15 ohhhhh SQ bud please be careful

40:30 "always have time for my son," he said in a clipped voice that implied that he does not have time for his son

40:35 ohhh he's getting RIGHT INTO IT HUH

40:41 you mean to tell me he's never asked about Mr. Curtain's work?? Ever???? Somehow that doesn't seem right to me

40:57 hey uh what if you didn't talk down to SQ at every opportunity

41:02 "would you care to reconsider that answer, son?" "No." DIG THOSE HEELS IN SQ!!!!

41:22 I'm really not digging that Curtain is using the guise of openly expressing his feelings to communicate his anger and his unasked question. Not cool bitch head

41:33 the fact that he didn't answer SQ's spoken question kind of also answers his unspoken question

41:45 "I knew there was something off about that girl. But espionage?" "How do you so convincingly fake a tetherball obsession?" I love that this entire conversation could be about Martina or Kate interchangeably

42:34 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

42:36 IF IT WAS THAT EASY TO FIND WITH BINOCULARS HOW HAD THEY NOT BEEN SPOTTED UP UNTIL THIS POINT?!!?#? HOW????

43:05 Kate advocating for Martina with the Society 🥺🥺 the interaction I didn't know I needed

43:58 "I definitely don't like to leave anything unfinished." "That's true, I've seen you eat." PFFFFT

44:05 YESS YOU GO STICKY USE YOUR ACCESS FOR PRIME INTEL

44:19 "well, you can't succeed without me, so..." baby girl you have no idea how right you are

44:28 please let that be Milligan PLEASE LET THAT BE MILLIGAN

44:32 YEAAAAAHHHHH

44:35 I simply adore him

44:45 "would you mind helping me down, please? I'm stuck." Your honor I would die for this man

44:54 oh shit, Martina's tryna sleuth it out herself.. this can't end well

45:04 is she about to find Kate's marbles or something?? Callback to the book?

45:26 the absolute MURDER in her eyes

45:31 FUCKIN YIKES

45:41 "the clothes of someone who had given up" ASEJDGEIDNDLFK

45:47 well that's not good

46:00 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

46:04 PLEASE let them be on their way already, please

46:14 THEY MADE A BLIMP????

46:17 Goodyear is QUAKING

46:35 why the fuck is Number Two in red, that's upsetting on principle

THEYRE JUST ENDING IT THERE???? goddamnit!!!!

How surreal is it that next week is the finale?? Idk if I'm ready for that????

[razorblade180-heated]

Warmth

[Smut! Also I’m aware of the canon, and? Read my tags]

Nice guys finish last, a common phrase tossed around to any dude with dipshit friends that clearly fumble their way into relationships. At least that’s what Ilia thought. She also wondered why it was just guys? It’s not like they’re the only ones striking out or being told to act rude. She should know. Unfortunately, she’s been both the worry wart, and the dipshit. You would think romance had clear instructions by now. After all, love comes for everyone given enough time. Even her, but there lies the problem. Ilia couldn’t admit it. Not to the only person that it matters to. Ilia could fight grimm, be a terrorist, a good person, and stand outside a hotel room an entire kingdom away with luggage held tight like she is now, but for the love of everything not annoying, Ilia couldn’t tell one nice guy that he makes her feel like she’s walking on air.

It had been several months since her and Sun got a little more serious. The emotional soul searching definitely took time, and every choice felt like do or die for her, but Ilia was finally in a place emotionally that truly felt good. Most of that was thanks to Kali. The woman was always there to lend an ear. All that searching though put several things temporarily on a back burner. One of those things was visiting Sun. Expenses to Vacou was one thing, but Ilia didn’t want to visit him while feeling completely out of sorts. It wouldn’t be fair to him. That didn’t stop Sun from blowing up her scroll with facetime messages. That dork worked out a time zone schedule and everything. It was sweet; the kind Ilia wasn’t used to but definitely wanted more of. It had been far too long since she saw that cheeky monkey boy in person.

Ilia stared down the door as she psyched herself up. “Don’t be nervous. Dooooon’t be nervous.” She muttered to herself. She finally knocked on the door and waited in brief suspense as the door swung open aggressively. Ilia was effortlessly pulled into the room and more importantly, into a hug. It took her a moment to realize she was less than an inch away from pecks and wrapped in warm arms. She tilted her head up to see shiny white teeth smiling at her.

“Hey Ilia. Have a safe trip?”

Her freckles turned a little pink and she pouted. “We’re skipping over the fact that you just surprised me? How’d you know it was at the door?”

“Ummm you were mumbling out there for a few minutes.”

“Oh…” Ilia lost the nerve to look at him and choose to hide her face in his chest. How much did he possibly hear!? It was too embarrassing to think about. “How’ve ya been?”

“Oh ya know, missions. Scarlet had a party yesterday, obviously things got out of hand.”

“Fire?”

“No it was actually bandits. He didn’t help fight. Him and Neptune song Toxic while Sage and I handled everything.”

Ilia looked back up at Sun. “That sounds awesome! Man, I should’ve booked an overnight flight!”

“Yeah we could’ve used another fighter.”

“We both know I would’ve been drunk onstage with them.”

“Listen, you could’ve let me dream.” Sun said, laughing gently. It was criminal to be this endearing. Ilia wasn’t sure how Neptune or anybody could deal with this brightness so easily. However, Ilia would love to learn.

“Uhh, Sun? You’re still hugging me.” Ilia stammered.

The boy's face turned a little red and he quickly let go. “Whoops! Hehe, my bad. Got a little carried away.”

“That’s nothing new.” She jabbed at him. “Wearing your heart on your sleeve is what you do best.” Ilia stepped further into the room. “Or maybe it’s picking rooms…”

The hotel room had a glass door on the other side that led to a balcony to look out at Vacou’s desert beauty. A huge couch was smack dab in the middle of the room that faced a wide screen. Sun clearly brought his own things. Wires from the bottom went down the wall and connected to a game system with tons of things to play and watch. Ilia walked to the back of the room to a door that led to another big room. This one had dressers, a door that most likely led to the bathroom, and a massive bed that looked softer than a cloud and covered in pillows.

The thought of sleeping in it was both heavenly l, and a little too much to deal with. It was a big bed, and the only bed. Ilia jumped a little as she felt Sun poke her back to get her attention.

“You alright?”

“How much did this all cost!? This is Atlas grade stuff right here.”

Sun folded his arms and smiled with confidence. “Funny you say that. This is the room Weiss gets when she’s here. I asked very nicely for her to let me use it. The missions I went on for the company definitely helped with a discount.”

“Discount?”

“Yeah Weiss said she isn’t paying for room service.” Sun let out a sad sigh. “Weiss said it’s the only way we wouldn’t order nothing but lobster.”

Ilia was soul crushed. Weiss was right but that didn’t make it better. Lobster is great. “I don’t blame her, but I’m offended. I was gonna go all out.”

“Well now you can do that, but on a budget.” Sun walked back to grab Ilia’s bags. “Feel free to take a shower. I still have things I wanna set up.”

“Alright, thanks.” She grabbed her things from him and went to the bathroom. It was much bigger than she expected. Ilia was used to a bathroom the size of a closet. Not another room! It was half the size of the bedroom and magnificent. The entire thing was tile and the tub was deep. With a removal shower head and other things Ilia couldn’t begin to know what they were for.

“Really glad he didn’t pay full price for anything.” A heat rose to her cheeks. Sun totally would’ve paid full price if it came down to it. Nobody is worth this much effort. Then again, Kali would beg to differ. She would think going all out would be just enough. How Ghira surpassed all expectations is beyond her.

xxxx

Sun finally finished his set up of movies and games and was ready for the hard part. Not screwing things up. Hanging out came naturally to him but it was much harder when he could tell Ilia had a lot on her mind. Maybe he was trying too hard. Should he ask her about it, or give her space. Months to think about this and he let it slip through his fingers. “I wonder if she’s reading me as much as I am her? Huh, maybe I should stick to being straight forward?”

“How’s the set up going?” Ilia called from behind him.

Sun started to turn around. “I’m finish-fin...umm.” He had lost his train of thought. Ilia had derailed it completely by walking around in a white bathrobe with her hair down. Sun’s eyes drifted to her toned legs and didn’t leave them.

Ilia noticed the distraction and blushed. “Ahem!” Sun snapped out of the daze, embarrassed and rubbing his head in embarrassment.

“Sorry, caught me by surprise.” Not that he was complaining. By any means, and his tone made that very clear to her.

Ilia sat down on the couch and carefully kept her legs crossed. “Don’t get used to this. My hair always ruins my clothes when it’s wet so I’m letting it dry is all.

“You know I never noticed, but your hair and size is kinda like Weiss. It’s kinda fortunate. Don’t think that bathrobe would work for me.

“You’re shirtless all the time. All you need is a towel.” She looked passed him to see his setup. “Games or movies first?”

“Choice is all yours. I’m perfectly fine owning you in all of these games.” He boasted. Ilia wasn’t gonna take that at all.

“Famous last words, banana breath. I’m about to be eating lobster and kicking you but for the rest of the evening! Pass me a controller.”

Sun laughed confidently and tossed her one. She seemed to be in a better mood than before. Deep conversation can wait. Now was the time to enjoy each other’s reunion. “Winner decides the movie.”

Ilia grinned. “You’re on!”

xxxx

“Rematch!” Ilia declared, for the tenth time. She was not about to admit defeat and watch Speed Racer. Though at this point the amount of food she ate would probably knock her out before the halfway point.

“I think you gotta accept the loss here. I don’t know why you thought you’d beat me in a fighting game finally. Should’ve chosen racing.”

“Whatever. It’s no fun if a bet is one sided. I totally would have won though.” Ilia let out a sigh and handed her controller over, shooting him an evil look at his victory. Sun could only smile. “That’s a weird response to a glare.”

“Can’t help it. I’m just really glad you’re having a good time with me.”

That was sudden. Ilia blinked twice then began to play with her hands. “Why wouldn’t I…?”

He shrugged. “Earlier you looked a bit spaced out. Like your mind was somewhere else. Couldn’t tell why. I almost asked why but you know, trying to be better at letting things go at their own pace. Being a leader doesn’t mean I have the most tact hehe.”

That was an understatement. It never mattered what was happening, if Sun was a part of it then he was all in. Helping, fighting, everything. True, it made things feel a little overwhelming at times; but it was a pleasant change for people like Ilia. Having a person that was always in your corner was a stark contrast from her time before the White Fang and during it. Blake wasn’t even always around. Not that it was a problem. But Ilia would be lying if she said she didn’t used to wish that would be the case between her and Blake. Oh well. Life goes on.

Ilia leaned closely to Sun, then flicked his forehead hard.

“Ow!” He flinched.

“Blame yourself. Your brain needed a jumpstart apparently. I could’ve sworn I told you not to hold back around me once upon a time. Be greedy, stay outspoken. Even if I seem sensitive about it.” Ilia knew she had a bad habit of putting up walls. That’s why she was thankful for her friends. The only tactful person was Blake. Everybody else would just try crashing right through any wall. A crude approach, but Ilia knew herself well enough to admit she doesn’t leave people many other options. “What did you wanna ask me?” Being caught up in lecturing Sun, Ilia had legitimately forgotten her little crisis outside the door. Knots in her stomach hit hard the moment she remembered. “Me and my big mouth!” Ilia screamed, internally.

“You were outside my door for a good while. Then it took you some time to process the hug. I wasn’t sure if you were worried about seeing me or if there’s something in general that had you distracted. Heh, I guess you can say I got worried about you worrying. So, what was on your mind.”

“Oh you know, things…” her voice trailed off and it was hard to look at him again. Why was this so hard! Ilia hated this. Confessions weren’t anything new to her, and yet Ilia genuinely felt scared to even work up to it. Her skin changed between gray and pink constantly as the room went painfully silent. Sun was waiting for an answer and Ilia was left with her throat feeling dry. She came all the way here to get this off her chest in earnest and now it felt like she was being crushed flat by it.

Ilia continued to be mad at herself for saying nothing as she felt Sun take her hand and rub his thumb across it. Amazing how simple touches like this could change the atmosphere. Against his, Ilia hadn’t realized she had been shaking. She looked up to see Sun staring at her, concerned while remaining patient. It wasn’t fair, those eyes. The way they built her up and disarmed her all at once. Ilia never wanted them off her.

“Take your time with it.” Sun said with reassurance. It was easy to see he was anxious as well from the way his tail couldn’t keep still behind him.

“I...it’s….” she gripped his hand tighter. “I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of this. Us. I’m scared that if I tell you exactly what this means to me, it’ll end. I don’t know how or why but I know no matter how badly I wanna say the words I want you to hear…” she holds her head down and clenches her robe. “I probably sound so stupid right now huh?”

“I wouldn’t say so. Listen, I know that no matter what I say you’re gonna beat yourself up about this. Me being understanding or not, wasn’t gonna change that fact; and you know that I was going to understand.”

Ilia let out a small pity chuckle. Sun tilted her head up gently. Even with misty eyes, Ilia remained completely beautiful. “I don’t hear the words, but I’m smart enough to know they’re there. I haven’t said them, but do you think for a second you don’t know how you make me feel?” He placed her hand on his heart. Even he couldn’t escape the uneasiness of this situation. Sun could feel the heat go to his face and could do nothing but gently place his forehead against Ilia’s. “You know how I feel, right?”

The gray from her skin went away inch by inch, only leaving pink and red freckles. “Of course I do.” Her voice trembled. Their eyes didn’t remain sad, but switched to something equally intense. Pleading. Ilia’s expression softened. Her hand let go of her robe and found its way to Sun’s face. His own hands rested on her hips and he began leaning forward because of Ilia until she was on her back. The trembling didn’t stop from earlier but it was okay. She was okay.

“How many times have we’ve found ourselves like this?” She asked, rubbing his face.

“Not enough.” Sun whispered. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, so much. You...are beyond word to me.” Ilia couldn’t wait a moment longer. She closed her eyes and was met with Sun’s lips, tenderly pressing on her own. Ilia carefully bit his bottom lip as he pulled away, aiming for her exposed neck. Ilia let out a gasp at the contact. Her hands began rubbing up and down his back from the inside of his shirt. Her own legs instinctively parted in order to draw him in closer. Each nip and kiss was brutally slowly and methodical. As if he was letting her know the depth of his feelings.

Ilia kept exploring his back torso. Every groove felt like magic. Muscles were never something she was into on anybody. What really had her was the honest fact the body on top of hers belonged to the person that had completely captured her feelings. His hands slipped into her robe and made her body shiver. He never stopped being gentle but somehow was firm enough to let Ilia know how badly he wanted her. She was absolutely defenseless against the way his left hand groped her chest. As for the right, it wasted no time drifting to her wet folds, continuing the trend of slowly rubbing Ilia’s body; before she felt his middle finger open her up.

“Mmmph~” her nails dug into him a little. She could feel him curl his finger as he pumped in and out.

Sun could feel Ilia squeeze tightly around the digit. Her chest started to rise higher, her breath becoming sharper by sucking in air through her teeth. Sun finally let her neck free and kissed her, adding another finger in the process. His movements became faster and hid her face the crook of his neck the moment the kiss ended. She couldn’t stop her legs from fidgeting and the girl tried her best to repress her whimpers by any means. She even bit down on his neck briefly. All the while, Sun kissed and breathed on her very red ear.

“Let me hear your voice Ilia…”

He made it sound so easy. Ilia couldn’t stand sounding so needy, even with him. It just wasn’t her to give in and he knew that. “You’re the worst.” She whined. Her eyes shut themselves and her body clung to him as if she was falling. His fingers split from each other. Ilia could feel them press down as they went in, before sliding up to the top and pulling out to the entrance, connecting and splitting apart to touch everywhere.

“Mmmmm aaaahhaaa~ Sun!” Ilia couldn’t hold that one back at all. The first of many, until she had no will left but moan as her face turned beat red. He really was the worst. “Suuuun~ aaha!”

“I knew you could do it.” He managed to make her free himself enough to be able to kiss her face and neck again. His labor bore the fruit he wanted as Ilia kept moaning freely. Her body finally caved from his touch when she arched her back and Sun felt both fingers being squeezed tightly. Ilia’s entire body was tense and she couldn’t even make a noise until her body went limp on the couch. The breath hit heavily against his body as she tried catching it.

It didn’t take too long because she quickly went back to kissing him passionately, even moaning into it. If there was anything she loved most, it was kissing. It didn’t matter how skilled a person could be in anything else, a kiss had a way of showing exactly how much the other person really cared. There was no dying a spark when it was there. She learned that the hard way.

Sun could feel Ilia’s tongue all but dominate his own as he tried to do the same. He couldn’t help but groan from the pleasure. Ilia’s leg presses against his erection, stoking the flames further, but it was still only second compared to their lip locking. A subtle warmth hit his cheeks. Sun reluctantly pulled back to see why and witnessed Ilia panting,tears falling down her face. Sun put his hand against her face and Ilia pressed into it. He traced over the tear track and kissed the path of the other one away. “You okay?” He said quietly, earning a nod.

“Yeah. I’m just...you’re so warm, safe. I can’t remember feeling this...happy.” Her own words threatened to make herself shed more tears. He was looking at her again. That same gaze that never failed to make her heart jump and want to continue growing if it meant being even closer to him. “Please,touch me deeper.”

Sun’s face went redder. He sat up briefly and officially took off his shirt. His pants came next. Ilia tried removing her bathrobe but Sun quickly took her hand. “Wait, I uhh really like you in it.” He confessed, embarrassed. “It suits you.”

Ilia felt her heart flutter again. Sun’s infatuation with her legs and hips was flattering for sure, but Ilia never imagined how much. “Well, if we’re doing things that excite us.” She reached for his red boxers and slipped her hand between the seams, fishing out Sun’s hard six inch shaft. A simple grab had him throbbing and breathing deeper. “Having you like this is more my style.” Keeping underwear one while having sex just felt more intense and made Ilia ache. “Need me to get you slick enough.

“You tell me?” Sun pressed the tip of cock past her entrance and was welcomed with Ilia’s body dripping at the touch. He pressed further in to be guided with ease. She more than wet enough on her own. He was already halfway in and still felt no real resistance. Only Ilia spreading around him before clamping down. “Gods, your pussy is so wet.”

He really knew how to push her buttons just right. Her body betrayed her mind by gripping him even tighter for his choice of words. “I hate that word so much. It’s-mmmmph! Ahhh! S-Sun!?” He couldn’t wait any longer and hilted himself inside her completely. His hips began thrusting on their own and Sun found his way into Ilia’s arms yet again. Unlike her, Sun had no shame in letting her hear just how good she made him feel. His groans and grunts invaded her ear willingly, and passionately.

“Mmmmgh ahhh~ fuck. Ilia…” Sun couldn’t keep his thoughts straight anymore. All he wanted was to feel her and let Ilia feel him. He panted roughly and did his best to satisfy the woman beneath him.

Ilia was more than being satisfied. There wasn’t a moment she wasn’t feeling full by how wide his cock spread her apart. Her moans came back in full force to sing with his own. Ilia’s legs felt their strength drain from them and could only react to Sun’s hips. They once again kissed deeply and Ilia’s right hand was pressed against the sofa by Sun’s left, interlocking tightly with each finger around one another. It wasn’t long before Sun held the other one as well. The stimulation made Ilia feel alive with energy that was dead set at reaching its peak. They hadn't been going any longer than nine minutes by her guess, but yet they were near their limits already. Neither could help it. Today, it was nothing short of what they wanted. There wasn’t one touch or look that didn’t shout “ I love you with everything I have.”

“Ilia! I’m-“ he couldn’t contain himself long enough to speak. Ilia wrapped a leg around him as he came inside her. The feeling of it all knocked her past the point of no return and Ilia came as well; her body squeezed all it could as she cried out in pleasure. Sun’s hips rocked slowly to draw out the ecstasy of it all until they were left tired. Both found themselves staring yet again, smiles plain to see.

“Am I still the worst?” Sun chuckled.

“Without a doubt.” Ilia jabbed. “Kiss me again already will ya?”

Sun playfully rolled his eyes. “So needy.” He gave her what they both wanted and more. After all, he had a lot of love to give.

xxxx

They must’ve gone at it at least three times. The sun had set, food was ordered once again, and Speed Racer played for Sun’s viewing pleasure while Ilia slept peacefully. The boy was on his side while his girlfriend’s arms remained around him, her head resting on his chest. Sun couldn’t help but brush her hair out of her dreaming face and remain connected to her. Every so often she’d laugh quietly in her sleep.

“Always up to something. Even in your sleep.” Sun was only proven right by her body holding him closer.

“Mmmmmm love you.” Those words stopped Sun in his tracks. He had no choice but to look down at her once again and kiss her head. “I love you too.” A confession neither of them would officially remember, unburdened by the fear or memory. When it was right, they’d both say it. And what a day that would be. Until then, there was no rush.

[emilywatchescursedshow]

S1 E19 - Provenance

Director: Philip Sgriccia Writers: Eric Kripke, David Ehrman

These two are def gonna be murdered by this painting which I’m in favor of.

Yes they are getting murdered by the painting

Dean getting digits we love to see it

Lmao I stopped watching this episode like 2 weeks ago now I’m back baby jetlagged and can’t work so here we are back at it

Dean is smiling very uncomfortably and bringing two beers to a table that already has two full beers on it

“What’s that supposed to mean” i think the meaning was pretty clear

Dean is... hungover?? Why is he asleep in the car? This is not explained its just supposed to be funny ?

License plate “the krip”

“It’s like a garage sale for WASPs if you ask me” Dean pretty sure you’re a wasp man, unless you were raised Catholic ??

Dean has some attitude in this episode I like it, eating just everything he can get his hands on

Oh was the setup of Dean getting a woman to contrast with Sam trying to get this woman with his brains and charm

This painting looks ugly AF.

Gross she’s giving Sam wistful looks for literally just that??

Oh this is a choice of hotel decor

Sam is very uncomfortable he looks like a baby. Wow this was the lipgloss era huh

What is the thing with the wine list “I’ll have a beer” girlboss moment

Why is she so quick to give up all this information abt her mom?

We are spending so long on this scene. Ok it’s over now

The lighting in this hotel scene is pretty good, very nice half illuminated faces

we are 10 minutes into the episode this cannot work but this is very good 90s era hacker scifi breakin music/pacing/lighting

It is so bright in my room and I cannot see anything

Yeah it’s a pretty hideous painting

Oh they have to destroy the frame ?

I guess this is how they figure out the painting is still around and this is such an awkward scene Sam trying to act through Dean crushing his story is very funny. “OH MY GOD” cannot contain himself at seeing the painting freaks completely out. Wow this girl has a lot of patience

OHH WE HAVE MORE PAPER PROPS YESSSSS THESE WERE SO WELL DONE BEFORE AND THEY ARE AGAIN NOW!!! Love this librarian too, very excited about the murders and the lore this is me about the paper props

Dad sold the painting again

Dean is actually trying to be a good older brother here what a sweetie. I did forget that Jessica was a thing. Ok so we don’t get an explicit explanation of what “the main part” is

Why would someone actively try to get that painting

She’s just standing by while they pick the lock oh no she’s here too

Is she going to be a regular on the show?

We love Dean standing by forcing Sam to do all the heavy lifting. Why does sam only have one tone of voice.

“Sam. Marry that girl” she’s having some real girlboss moments here.

Wow those pants are so low waisted we hate the 2000s. Another lipgloss moment

“We don’t get paid” big mood

Oh no is it gonna actually get romantic between them? WOW SHE JUST STRAIGHT UP ASKED HIM good for her. This is a lot of progression in one episode after they literally just met. Oh he’s telling her that his girlfriend died. Ok two data points don’t make a curse Sam. “Very sweet and very archaic.” WOW ANOTHER GIRLBOSS MOMENT. She’s really bursting through all his walls at once after knowing him like 3 days. She also lost her mom so this seems a little insensitive on Sam’s part “oh boo hoo my gf died it was so sad” well her mom died and now she wants to bone down after being sad for a year.

I hope it turns out that she’s playing him and leaves him after they fuck that would be so girlboss of her.

It was the little girl the whole time her soul is in the doll that’s a nice twist.

Pretty sure they’ve used the “low sodium freaks” joke before

YES CREEPY LITTLE GIRL

We need to know how they figure out where her soul is which is why they keep flashing to the doll

“That is just so wrong” great line

THEY LITERALLY KEEP FLASHING TO THE DOLL oh it’s so Sarah can have another girlboss moment

I keep calling these girlboss moments but it doesn’t really count as such I’m sorry

GO DEAN GO

oH NO Sarah is going to have to fight by herself now another girlBOSS moment

Yeah you moron literally just shoot the glass in

Suspense

Wow the hair really lit up didn’t it

Why is she bleeding oh who cares Sam is touching her finally

Oh I was genuinely hoping they’d kiss bc I’m a freak.

Oh no a touching goodbye. No Dean, we only thank you for getting out of the way so it can be Sam’s episode. SHE WANTS TO FUCK HIM SO BAD lmao that’s sweet.

Oh is she gonna run out and kiss him are we gonna get that no he’s coming back to do it literally stomping on her girlboss moment.

Gross Dean look away.

[allywrites360]

Red Shoes - Analysis/Review

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world… whether my eyes are open… or closed.” - Merlin

““But I’m still that Merlin inside.” - The one who grew. The one who changed, and learned to love himself and others for more than what’s on the outside. I know Snow is the main example of self love in this film, but Merlin provides a great example of this; something we don’t often see in male characters.”

--

So this film just released in North America, and I thought I’d share some thoughts and overall themes/metaphors from this film. But first, I’d just like to encourage you (if you haven't already) to go and support this film. It pretty inexpensive, and was made by an independent animation studio, which I think is absolutely amazing. Now onto the analysis!!

Love the concept of everyone being an adaptation of a fairytale character; adds to the society being shallow and appearance focus as a whole, as fairytales were traditionally focused on dichotomy and physical beauty.

The lighting, and really animation as a whole, is phenomenal for a film made by an independent studio. The shading and colour grading is a real standout, though. And the landscapes!! They feel really three dimensional, and gorgeous.

[ID - A shot of a sunrise, beautifully lit behind a belltower - End ID].

Scoring/motif for the main villain is amazing.

Introduction to the protagonist is really not setup well. Did she actually get sent away from the palace? How long was she gone? How desperate is she to save her father? All of these questions are left unanswered, and no prominent character traits are shown through her first scene. She could be clever? All she did was change her hiding spot, so even that’s a stretch.

I hate the king’s narration. The dialogue is choppy, and repetitive in a completely irrelevant way.

The lore around the tree is really unclear. Why haven’t the shoes worked for Regina? Why do they work for Snow? Will they not regrow?

Love the transition scene to the dwarfs; makes it feel as though they’re just been walking listlessly since the spell was cast. Which, y’know, more or less true.

[ID - A shot of the seven dwarfs walking together through the centre of a forest in midday, looking slightly dejected - End ID].

Love the fact the mirror points out that ‘wisdom’ and ‘kingdom’ don’t rhyme; I paused to point that out.

I will say that the action scenes are really well directed/choreographed. The camera flows really nicely, and always follows our protagonists (ooh, tying into the dichotomous nature of fairytales overall?), which makes the stakes and emotions feel higher/more personal.

The villain’s voice acting and dialogue is really sharp and entertaining. She feels like a real threat (and also uncannily similar to Gothel but).

Love the wooden front on their house disguised as a castle. Really nicely done metaphor for them clinging on to a cheap version of their pasts; refusing to move on, which is torn down when she arrives. Also ties in to the “what’s on the inside outweighs what’s one the outside” moral.

[ID - The seven dwarfs’ house, which is a cave, with a wooden cutout shaped and painted like a castle sitting in front of it to give the illusion of a grander living space - End ID].

Can I also say I love that her first reaction isn’t insanely positive to her new appearance? In general, she just notes there’s been a change, which is a really nice subversion of the ‘overweight people have to be unhappy at the outset’ trope.

Her facial expressions are also really animated, which is something I’ve always loved (see Ariel, Anastasia, etc.), especially her eyes. Really well designed. Actually, all the expressions suit the characters’ personalities really well. Great job, animation department!

The fact that all seven dwarfs are names after popular mythical characters is really inventive (much more so than simply naming them after a character trait), as well as having their diverse fighting style be built from that, which I loved. Could even be allusions, but I don’t know enough about the original stories to say.

Hate the electric guitar of Prince Average. Highlights how much he doesn’t belong in this movie. His name is horribly uncreative, and his pop culture references break the forth wall, and aren’t funny, as they aren’t used properly. With him as the involved antagonist for most of the film, I can’t take the threat seriously. Other comic villains have been done so much better, such as Prince Charming from Shrek. The only valid line he has is about ‘dwarfs’ vs. ‘dwarves’; I never know which to use. “Finally, the big guns, thank you!” One more fourth wall break from this man I swear.

Love the added detail of the shoes not being able to be removed once you place value on the beauty they give. It’s hard to let go of that temptation; and if you don’t, you won’t be seen as your true self. It also highlights how she loves herself at the outbreak of the movie, and is therefore able to remove them freely. Also gets rid of the the deus ex machina of her shoes coming off freely in the water.

Wish we could’ve seen her doubt grow as she realizes they wouldn’t have helped her in her original form. Feels like we were a bit disconnected from her emotions. Which might not be a bad thing… if we assume Merlin in the protagonist.

Nice foreshadowing to her father being the bunny; if you know to look for it.

References such as ‘#blessed’, or ‘Pablo Picasso’, don’t work in the slightest. They serve no purpose, and aren’t funny simply because most would recognize them.

Normally I would make a note about Merlin and Snow having really standard, basic designs, but one, this animation studio is small, and on limited resources, and two, it, again, relates back to the shallow, uninteresting societal expectation of beauty that refuses to be unique.

Ahh, nice that apples are what trip the guards up in the chase scene through the market. Symbolic.

Love that she’s willing to defend the dwarfs even when she realizes they won’t help her in her original form. Again, wish we could’ve seen her emotions pertaining to that a bit more, although the reflection shot in the mirror (reflected from the shot at the start of the scene) was nice. Speaking of that, the broken, fragment reflection of her ‘fake’ self, is beautiful, because it isn’t a representation of herself, however at the end of the scene, we see the reflection in the same manner, but with her original self, but due to newly inflicted self doubt, we get a split second of that reality being fragmented too.

[ID - Snow White frowning as she looks into a shattered mirror leaning against the wall of an alleyway in her society-dictated “beautiful” - End ID].

[ID - Snow White looking into the same mirror, frowning, and having removed the shoes, restoring her to her original appearance - End ID].

The three bears (I’m assuming an allusion to the Goldilocks mythos) don’t really serve any plot relevance… however they are cute, so make of their inclusion what you will.

Again, the scene where she exits the dwarfs’ home; it would’ve been great to see a shot of her internal conflict before she submits herself to giving up her freedom for Merlin and Arthur’s. Relating to that, I have noticed that the hostage situations have shockingly low stakes in this film. For instance, at the end, Merlin is simply held in a branch, and a second later, Snow is willing to give up her life to set him free.

The movie didn’t end up using this (which was a nice subversion of expectations), but if Merlin had used all his spells in the final battle, and needed just one more shot, it wouldn’t have been a deus ex machina, because we establish previously he has the one Snow gave him for luck. I assumed it’d comeback again, but turns out they just used it as a symbol (for having the flower, a symbol of outside beauty, float out of his hand), for him letting go of his shallow mindset.

[ID - Snow White (wearing the shoes which change her appearance) smiles at Merlin, in his dwarf form. In his hand there’s a paper flower she folded from one of his spells - End ID].

Really love the joke about the mirror being hurt by smoke. Get it? Smoke and mirrors? Now that reference is funny; and also ties into the theme of false fronts/illusions. But not gonna lie, all that was an afterthought. It genuinely made me laugh.

Love that they rebuild the house too. It’s not beautiful, at least in a traditional sense. It’s cracked, uneven, but personal to them; they did it as a family. I’ll give the writers credit for so fully entrenching the theme into every frame and action. Nothing is meaningless in this film. Well, at least surrounding the protagonists.

Ooh, ooh, I could forgive the use of pop as their love motif if at the end, when there are no facades, it’s replaced by original scoring. I don’t remember that scene in all that much detail though.

The tree thing is… strange, I’ll admit, but considering Regina puts all her stock in the beauty which comes from the magic tree, it makes sense it’d be rooted into her magic in some way. The apple details are cool (notches shaped like seeds on the trunks), if nothing else, considering the scene with the three attacking is not investing the slightest, beyond some inventive attacks from Merlin (the action and attacks surrounding him aren’t executed all that poorly).

The directing in general is phenomenal in this movie; which is something I’ve been trying to put a bit more attention on lately.

Love small details like Merlin holding his back after the fight, circling back once again to the fact these characters are more similar than they realize (if you remember, that’s what she used as a cover when she first woke up).

[ID - A shot of Merlin running, pressing a hand against his back as he does so - End ID].

Okay, I can suspend my disbelief for a lot of things in this movie, but when Snow dives into the lake, that surface tension would’ve seriously hurt her. If even some waves would’ve been added, it would’ve not only added suspense to the scene, but made it a bit more grounded as well.

“Who do you like more, Snow White or Red Shoes?” “Easy, it’s Red Shoes.” “Who does Red Shoes love more?” “Easy, it’s me. Wait… no. It’s you.” That line is by far my favourite from the film. I love that it shows his guilt. She’s chosen to love him despite his appearance, but he won’t do the same for her. And now he has to look in the mirror at that ugly part of his personality.

[ID - At night, Merlin in his dwarf form stands beside Merlin in his human form. The dwarf version of him looks irritated as he looks up - End ID].

(Assuming Merlin named the rabbit, and if I’m being honest I didn’t pay attention to that) It’s sorta fitting to his character that he named it ‘Long Ears’ - a notably physical attribute.

While I do like that, just because the climax called for it, the sword didn’t suddenly lift from the stone, I really dislike that it was broken out by sheer force; which goes goes against the entire magic system/point of the sword and who gets to hold it.

Kronk as the magic mirror is hilarious. I want to credit the screenwriters for his lines… but I have a strong feeling it was mostly improv. Well done whoever is to credit for that.

Now this action scene, with Merlin being attacked by the tree roots, is insanely well done. For maybe the first time in this movie, I feel the suspense I’m intended to, and the setup and just character movement in general is really inventive. You feel his emotions and breath in this scene, which takes serious talent.

“How could she possibly want to save you more than she wants to be beautiful? Did you cast a spell?” - On a related note, I’m proud of this movie for not falling into the traditional ‘misunderstanding breaks up characters before the final battle’ (they technically do split up, but it’s the fault of Merlin’s unresolved selfish intentions rather than a petty matter) through Snow seeing the love spell, and assuming the worst even though Merlin never uses it.

The vines could be a metaphor as well; in this battle, they’re the shallow desires holding him back, while he, with the assistance of others, has to break his own way out (as shown by him using his lighting to crack a small hole in the doors (or exit) of the room.

[ID - Merlin is running towards the “camera”, however, he looks surprised as a vine grabs his waist, and attempts to drag him back into the castle - End ID].

“I’m sorry, Snow White.” That’s the first time he uses her name; and he does it mentally; in a voiceover. It isn’t to impress her, or win a competition. It’s how he truly sees her now. Also, so beautiful how his motives go from being self centred, to focused on her; he changed because of her influence. It’s been done before, but that doesn’t make it any less meaningful here.

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world… whether my eyes are open… or closed.” That wasn’t his final line (he survives), but if it was… that would’ve been so powerful. Still is, just in a different way.

“I kinda liked the short and green Merlin.” “But I’m still that Merlin inside.” - The one who grew. The one who changed, and learned to love himself and others for more than what’s on the outside. I know Snow is the main example of self love in this film, but Merlin provides a great example of this; something we don’t often see in male characters.

And I loved that it was a hug immediately after his spell is broken. He isn’t trying to gain anything, he’s just happy to be with her, which is super romantic. 

[ID - Both now restored to their original forms, Merlin and Snow White sit on the ground just outside the palace hugging each other, both smiling with their eyes shut. The king, and a few of the dwarfs stand in the background - End ID].

Onto a few of my favourite lines;

“I was worried about you!” “I was worried about me too. But- but mostly you!”

“If you could see the real me…” “I think I can see the real you… eyes open or closed, I still see Merlin.” What a great line. What a great theme. You don’t need to know the facts about someone, or see their original appearance, to know who they are. And I think that’s beautiful.

“Someone you’l be proud to be seen with.” “I think you’re right.”

“I thought that we were both under the same spell… but I was wrong.”

“He likes you more than he likes me,��� as she looks down at the shoes.

“Who do you like more, Snow White or Red Shoes?” “Easy, it’s Red Shoes.” “Who does Red Shoes love more?” “Easy, it’s me. Wait… no. It’s you.”

“How could she possibly want to save you more than she wants to be beautiful? Did you cast a spell?”

“I’ve never been so glad to be chubby and green again.” - Because it means he’s not alone.

“I’m sorry, Snow White.” 

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world… whether my eyes are open… or closed.”

“I kinda liked the short and green Merlin.” “But I’m still that Merlin inside.” 

I’ll just say, as an ending thought, that the 2D animation of their wedding is adorable.

Overall, I’d give it 8/10. Nothing phenomenal that was entirely groundbreaking, but there’s a lot of heart to be shown here, with some truly amazing characters, even if some of their universe isn’t all that intriguing. Would highly recommend.

[protagonistheavy]

I’m just gonna randomly shoot out some things about WW84 that sucked or were weird. It might be random but it’ll be just as coherent as the movie.

I immediately sensed this movie would suck when it begins with a voice-over by Diana explaining what the first ten minutes of the movie was going to be about, and then I knew FOR SURE it was going to suck when those ten minutes go and explain the moral of the next two hours of the film. This childhood flashback has no bearing on anything happening in the present, other than to setup the message that cheating and taking shortcuts is wrong.

Which, by the way, that message is so stupid and this flashback VALIDATES how bad it is. Diana is about to win this sports thing as a kid but gets disqualified at the last moment because when she got knocked off her horse, she took a shortcut to get back into the race. You’d think craftiness like that would be REWARDED somehow, but she’s punished for it, and it sets up this frustration that lasts for the entire movie. Not a good frustration, just something that annoys you.

I hate the presentation of this obstacle course by the way. It seemed really cool for like five minutes but the race got so tedious. You think she’s going to win when she jumps for the hoop -- no, she’s diving into the water, the race is still going. She gets to land! ... No, now it’s a horse riding segment. She shoots an arrow through a hoop, and at the stadium, they release a flag with her color! ... But that’s just hoop one of several that she needs to shoot. It’s so tedious and pointless, you never get the right sense of suspense.

Okay now for the bulk of the film.

Barbara’s weird focus on heels gets so grating, I could not believe how many times they emphasized her shoes. I get that they represent something larger but they don’t do anything with it, they just keep having people comment on her fucking shoes! and then after awhile, no mention of heels, it’s just dropped, it’s so uncanny how important fucking HEELS were for like 30 minutes of a film.

Barbara feeds a homeless guy on her way home, explained that she visits this guy almost everyday. We NEVER see this guy again, except for when Barbara is first turning “evil” (GOD I gotta explain that one) where he just... RANDOMLY APPEARS! He appears just to make Barbara look more evil, and then he’s just gone. SO ANNOYING!

And they do this AGAIN with another minor character. This guy named Carl???? Okay can ANYONE explain this guy to me? For NO REASON we see that Diana has like, this assistant named Carl that she just sort of shrugs off. And then he’s never mentioned again, never seen again, until like a whole hour later -- where Diana is apparently friends enough with this guy that he takes her on a tour through some federal building? And it’s HERE that they try to give CARL a fucking character quirk, even though he’s NEVER SEEN AFTER THIS? They like try to make him seem like a buddy of Diana’s or something like we should think this scene is kinda funny or fuck at least show that Diana has relationships with people. Nope.

And I’d say that’s a big problem for me with the film, Diana has NO connections with ANYONE in this film... EXCEPT HER DEAD PARTNER THAT COMES BACK TO LIFE IN SOME RANDOM GUY’S BODY, OH MY GOD. I just have to scream about that, what the FUCK was this plot??? They couldn’t just have Steve be wished back into existence somehow, no, the plot instead makes it so a RANDOM NEARBY GUY just gets POSSESSED by Steve, and then the movie has the nerve to just REPLACE THE GUY WITH STEVE’S ACTOR! Because apparently “that’s all Diana can see.” WHAT THE FUCK!!!! She had sex with this other person’s body several times, dude!! It’s so weird, they could have done ANYTHING but they chose this WEIRD plot!

And Steve NEVER HAD TO COME BACK! Why was Steve so fucking important?! Especially when they KNEW that they’d have to kill him off again anyway! They just thrust him back into the plot because they couldn’t think of ANYTHING else that would drive Wonder Woman into a conflict other than THE MAN IN HER LIFE. Holy shit, dude. It’s literally her WHOLE motive in this dumb film, grappling with how she’s just obsessed over this dead dude for DECADES, it’s such a pathetic state for WONDER WOMAN to be in.

Okay remember when I said Barbara turned evil and the homeless guy-- yeah yeah so her “turning evil” scene? Revolves around her fighting back against a street harasser. Yeah so earlier we see her get catcalled and pushed around by this random drunk guy, you know, the classic random drunk guys we know are on the streets. And Diana saves her. Later she’s in a TOTALLY different spot and the SAME DRUNK GUY harasses her AGAIN, literally the same drunk guy in the same clothes, doing the same shit as last time, even though it got him thrown into a trash can before. Yeah they use THIS GUY to demonstrate Barbara “turning evil” because now she has super strength and throws the guy down and kicks him across the street. WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL BAD FOR THIS DRUNK GUY. WE’RE SUPPOSED TO THINK “BARBARA, NO, YOU CAN’T DO THAT!” What the FUUUUCK? Why not have her do something evil that effects the homeless guy -- THAT would be a moment in which the audience says, “NO BARBARA, NO!” Instead it just seems like she’s, like, TOTALLY IN THE RIGHT! Like yeah maybe she’s going overboard but this guy TWICE has physically assaulted her and ALL she’s doing is kicking him, BECAUSE SHE’S DEFENDING HERSELF and MAKING A POINT to this fucking guy! Hoooly shit it’s just, so wrong to use THIS dynamic as the “turning point” for an evil character.

Yeah and also, Barbara’s whole plot? It’s just shy of a fetish story. The whole thing. One day this meek nerdy woman wakes up and her body is fuller and sexier, she’s more confident, getting stronger and taller -- I’ve genuinely read fetish stories less blatant than this. It’s so fucking weird to see happen, it gives me bad vibes.

Barbara’s character is just dropped so hard. It doesn’t explore her or her position well at all despite how hard it tries to make SOMETHING out of nothing. She has no motive other than being jealous of other people and wanting power, it’s actually really dumb how this normal and sweet woman gets turned into a literal monster just for having been EVIL enough to make a fucking wish on a dumb stone, and she gets NO redemption, no explanation for where she goes afterwards when the film ends. No one even seems to care that Barbara is just gone, but I guess that’s fair because by the end of the movie, fucking, a LOT happened in the world.

Yeah the climax is that the villain can grant wishes and so everyone in the world starts making wishes, and it shows how these wishes get immediately corrupted or cause widespread chaos. But humor me this: is there not a SINGLE person that would have used their wish for, like, “world peace?” Wouldn’t that ONE wish stop like half of all other wishes? And you might think “Adam that’s dumb, a wish can’t just grant world peace” FUCK YOU! THE LOGIC OF THESE WISHES IS THAT IT CAN LET THE DEAD POSSESS HUMAN BODIES, IT CAN INSTANTLY CREATE AND ALSO DISMANTLE NUCLEAR WARHEADS, IT CAN CREATE GIANT WALLS OF STONE AROUND A COUNTRY. How the FUCK was there not a SINGLE child -- JUST A NAIVE CHILD -- that was watching this broadcast and wished for world peace? It’s just, this WHOLE PLOT IS SO DUMB!

The villain has the power to grant wishes, but only if they VERY SPECIFICALLY say “I WISH.” So he has to CONSTANTLY word-trick people into wishing for exactly what he wants them to wish for, while ALSO touching them. This gets repeated MULTIPLE times. But what pisses me off the most is that it doesn’t explain well what he GETS from people making a wish. Because the first time we see him use this power, he does it to one of his investors, and gets the investor to wish for his financial success. IMMEDIATELY after the investor makes the wish, the villain steps away and just says “Okay but in return you have to give me all your money and stocks.” And then he just walks out of the building, while the investor yells at him to come back. ??? No written agreement, no contract or anything. The villain just gets this guy to say “I wish” and then decides what he himself gets out of it.

We don’t get explained until LATER that whenever someone makes a wish, “the wish” gets to take something precious from the wisher. So what the villain basically just gets to do is grant a wish and then just DECIDE what the person gives them. He gets an oil tycoon to make a wish, and then he just takes his security team and his oil, and the security team just goes along with it, they just plain out lose their free will whenever they’re part of a wish. What the fuck man. It’s so stupid! And like not stupid-stupid, this COULD have been a cool idea for a villain, but it’s played so comically DUMB that it can’t be taken seriously at all, it never gets explored in interesting ways. It’s just him running around, tricking people into saying “yeah I wish for that thing you said.”

And the villain is like... IN MY PERSPECTIVE, the villain FEELS like he was inspired by Donald Trump. He’s a conman, he does this “thing” with his hands when he talks, he lies to people constantly, he acts rich but he doesn’t actually have any money, he just puts on a front of being rich. And like the whole film I thought that he was white, like, a white American with just a weird accent -- no, he’s like, just... NOT white apparently! We see a flashback to him as a kid (his dramatic story is that he pissed the bed as a child and his dad hit him -- I’m not kidding) and he’s WAY DARKER SKINNED as a child. He’s just a totally different person. In fact when I first saw this scene, I thought that was HIS child! We see his kid several times and he’s darker skinned, but I just assumed, “oh okay, like, this is a white guy and his partner he had a kid with or whatever, wasn’t. Or he adopted or something.” No, apparently Max Lord the villain is not white... I don’t even know what to MAKE of that, it just seems like a clear error on the writer’s part that they didn’t realize MAYBE that’d have some importance to what the grander message in the story is.

The props suck. It all looked super fake. At one point a stone pillar gets knocked over and broken, it’s the fakest looking thing, hitting the ground like it’s made of styrofoam. So much of this movie seemed like it was produced from whatever was lying around the storage room. I seriously only think the 80s aesthetic was chosen because they had lots of 80s themed props and clothes they could use on the cheap, because the movie does NOTHING else with the time period -- NOTHING ELSE. It’s just an excuse to show off 80s fashion and trends, and how Diana never had 80s hair, SUCH A MISSED OPPORTUNITY BUT WHATEVER.

Even the acting just feels so cold. The major actors all put in a contractual amount of effort and nothing more, and all the side characters just couldn’t give a shit. Why would they? The plot is fucking bonkers and their characters are worthless. The only good acting I saw was from Barbara, and that only lasts for the first hour of the film when Barbara actually has a personality. After that she’s just delegated to being a villain that wears more and more villainous clothing, until she’s just a fucking cat beast out of no where.

Yeah we get no reason for why Barbara turns into a cat woman, other than when she was making a wish, she said she’d like to be an “apex predator.” So the wish turned her into a cat woman. The only cat-like thigns we even see ASSOCIATED with Barbara until this point, is that she’s fascinated by Diana’s leopard print heels (THE HEELS! THE HEELS!) and in her office is a model of a tiger. Im probably getting these animals mixed up but whatever. It’s so fucking dumb, she’s a GEOLOGIST! And yeah she’s also generically a few other types of doctors, but she’s in this film primarily as a GEOLOGIST -- WHY DID SHE GET CAT POWERS?

Diana hypes up this fucking armor out of NO WHERE, Steve just randomly comes across it in Diana’s room, it’s just covered up in cloth and propped against a wall. Why? Why is it like this? Diana has had that armor for awhile by this point, it’s a fucking RELIC of her culture, and everything else in her fancy home is also neatly organized and displayed. This important fucking armor though, never put away. Anyway it gets hyped up as being like indestructible, but literally in the backstory for it we’re told that it failed to keep the amazon warrior wearing it safe, it eventually failed her... and then sure enough, when Diana is wearing it for a fight against Barbara, it just doesn’t do anything! It just gets ripped apart! What the fuck was the point of making Diana wear something so TACKY when she never needed it?!? You’d THINK she would use the wings to fly... but by that point, DIANA JUST HAS FLIGHT POWERS! The suit offers NOTHING OF VALUE to hear except to get ripped up!

Diana just REMEMBERS, only ONCE, that she has fucking INVISIBILITY POWERS. Yeah they get into a jet and need to fly out undetected. So Diana just pulls out some Dragonball Z power out of no where and MAKES THE WHOLE JET INVISIBLE, including them inside of it. Even though this was NEVER mentioned EVER before that she could do this... Even though she specifically says “I’ve only tried this once on a coffee mug”... SHE GETS IT RIGHT, THE WHOLE JET TURNS INVISIBLE. Okay, now get this: HOW DOES AN INVISIBLE JET HELP HER? SHE LITERALLY JUST STATED THAT THEY HAVE RADARS, THEY CAN STILL DETECT THEM, SO WHAT DOES BECOMING INVISIBLE DO? THE RADAR WOULD STILL PICK THEM UP, WOULDN’T IT? Oh my god man. Oh my god. AND IT NEVER COMES BACK UP! THEY NEVER HAVE TO USE THE INVISIBLE JET OR THE INVISIBLE POWERS EVER AGAIN! WHAT A SHITTY, SHITTY WAY TO SHOEHORN IN A FUCKING PROP, HOLY FUCK!

Okay and okay okay okay WHY WAS DIANA JUST ALLOWED TO TAKE A JET? Did I miss something? She just walks through this security clearance area with Steve... she flashes a badge, she’s let into a hangar. She walks past a plane, then tells Steve to pick one out to fly. They get into the plane, they start to take off, and BEE-WOO-BEE-WOO everyone is suddenly like “STOP THAT PLANE, WHAT’S THAT PLANE DOING?” WHAT??? Uhhhh YOU LET HER IN? She had CLEARANCE? D-Did Diana seriously just not think this far? She has clearance to go there but she didn’t ask first “hey we’re gonna use one of these jets?” WHOSE JET IS SHE EVEN TAKING? WHERE ARE THEY? This scene made NO FUCKING SENSE! I seriously MUST have missed some explanation but like, why was she ALLOWED TO ENTER the hangar but NOT ALLOWED TO FLY? And why wouldn’t she just-- HUBROUOUFBOSF

And the pacing of the film is just terrible, if you haven’t picked up on it. The first half of the film has like NO action, we almost never see Wonder Woman do anything. For an hour the cast is mostly just being introduced as well as the plot, that’s so fair, but then it ramps up to fucking eleven when suddenly these wishes just start changing the world fucking dramatically, in ways that just don’t make sense. The final third of the movie is a confusing mess of characters literally teleporting around the country, with virtually every bad thing happening at once because of fucking wishes. Nuclear missiles are about to be launched, people are wishing for each other to die, society is just crazily collapsing over the course of like three days. And then the ending is just, it just reverses everything... The ending is that everyone, EVERYONE in the WORLD renounces their wishes ... BY LITERALLY SAYING “I RENOUNCE MY WISH” OUT LOUD, IT’S SO FUCKING FUNNY ... and then things just snap back to normal. SERIOUSLY, we see shit LITERALLY REWIND at some points as all these wishes just fucking get reversed. BUT THE NUKES JUST GET DISMANTLED IN MID-AIR, THOSE DON’T GET REVERSED, THEY JUST FALL APART IN THE SKY, WHAT COULD GO WRONG.

The particle shit makes no sense... Villain has to touch people to make wishes, right? So his scheme becomes to use this broadcast that takes over EVERY broadcast in the world, which will TECHNICALLY count as “touching” people because the sattelite is spreading... his... particles? And apparently that counts, apparently just touching particles of this guy gives you a free wish. That just, doesn’t make sense at all, how the fuck are his particles getting sent around the world??? That’s now how cameras or broadcasts or sattelites work AT ALL.

At the end when the villain renounces his own wish and shit, he goes looking for his kid... He just runs out into no where and starts yelling his kid’s name. And then sure enough a minute later the kid appears, just running out of the woods apparently. It’s just so stupid. And this kid wears the same “generic kids shirt with stripes” through the entire movie, that’s funny to me for some reason.

The fight scene choreography was terrible. All of the fights were just grunts being flipped into the air or into walls. They had no idea how to make an interesting fight for Diana, it’s just always random humans with guns that she has to whip the weapons away from or deflect their bullets. It’s every fight, the same thing. At one point Steve uses a dinner tray to fucking block bullets, it’s so stupid, he runs ACROSS the hallway to GET the dinner tray, then RUNS BACK to use it to defend himself, it’s so fucking stupid, it’s like they said on set while recording “uh we need Steve to do SOMETHING here, just make him grab something.”

This movie wants to have a feminist message but just fucks it all up by not at all trying to make an actual feminist message that would resonate with women. WW84′s idea of sexism is so cartoonish, it’s all drunk men on streets that catcall women and sober men that constantly say hi to women as they walk by. There’s no mention of like, a glass ceiling, no. And there’s no critique against MEN here, no no no, MEN aren’t the problem, MEN aren’t being criticized... it’s just SOME of these men, these drunk ones on the street lol. Not a societal problem, just random guys who are jerks and should be thrown into trash cans............ BUT DON’T KICK THEM UNTIL THEY BLEED, NO, NO BARBARA, NO! Not the MAN!

There’s so much focus on Diana and Steve too that it just makes me wonder, did ANYONE realize how un-feminist this was??? Like they made a whole movie where Wonder Woman’s motive is JUST... man. Just man. Want man, get man. Keep man. That’s it. Don’t want man dead. That’s all she’s about. And, classic for Hollywood, they can’t even have her TALK to another woman about something OTHER THAN MEN... There’s SO MUCH GAY SUBTEXT, and it’s STILL drenched in a heteronormative plot.

YEAH THE GAY SUBTEXT, FUUUUCK! Fuuuck man! They GENUINELY setup this dynamic that MAYBE Diana and Barbara could fall in love. Diana sees so much in Barbara that she wants, and same for Barbara. Barbara basically takes her out on a date! It just gets dropped, Diana just acts like a pretty weak friend towards Barbara and never really explains to her the importance of what’s happening, it’s so sad to see what could have been a full romance get turned into some... ridiculously pointless rivalry I guess. It’s like you can genuinely feel the producers’ hands creeping into the movie, changing the direction of things so that it checks off as many boxes as possible rather than be something NEW and change how we see Diana.

Even the visual effects just suck.......! The invisible jet, yeah as it turns out, NOT VERY SPECTACULAR LOOKING... They try hard to make it a cool scene by at LEAST having it fly through fireworks, but that’s shit I can look up on youtube! They seriously just got a drone to fly through fireworks and then put an INVISIBLE JET flying through it. Other effects just suck to look at too, Wonder Woman’s lasso looks ridiculous at times, especially when she does this like “circle” thing where she spins it really fast, just looked terrible. So many shots of Diana flying around or sliding under stuff, and it just looks so fake with how she’s transplanted over a moving background.

There was one point where to save a bunch of kids, they launch a missile that Diana uses to whip and propel herself off of to go save the kids. But because this movie is edited SO BADLY it first justl ooks like Steve and Diana see some kids playing in the street so they decide to LAUNCH A ROCKET AT THEM. Up until you see Diana whip the missile to use it to fly forward, that’s ALL you can possible assume!!!!

Seriously, this whole movie sucks, this is maybe only HALF of my grievances. It’s so stupid, I do not recommend watching it, I can’t believe how this followed up the original Wonder Woman when that movie was so DECENT. It was GOOD even, and then WW84 just shits on everything it started, it’s a whole fucking movie that feels like kids playing with toys and making up a plot as they go. I can’t even IMAGINE watching the first film now! Like, what the fuck will I think?! These two movies are so staggeringly different and not in ANY good ways. It’s such a fuck up, I feel SO bad for the people who worked on this, such a waste of their time. This is a first draft script that I think no one fully read to completion or gave a solid shit about before filming, a bunch of stray ideas cobbled together incoherently.

[ask-de-writer]

SEA DRAGON’S GIFT : Part 17 of 83 : World of Sea

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SEA DRAGON’S GIFT

Part 17 of 83

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

140406 words

copyright 2020

written 2007

All rights reserved.

Reproduction in any form, physical, electronic or digital is prohibited without the express consent of the author.

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Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users   of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may   reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information   remains intact.  They may use the characters or original characters in   my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical   compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

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New to the story?  Read from the beginning.  PART 1 is here

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She went forward, toward the galley, along dimly lit passages that she had known all of her life.  Great Dragons!  He trusts me this much?  Why?  Odd though, I think that I trust him, too.  He seems to have been completely honest with me.  I wonder what I would feel for him if I weren’t trapped in this mess?

The first rule of survival is to live.  I’ll do this job, too.  I won’t be sick.  

The worst of it is, what I told him is true.  I saw what they did to the last couple that violated the Marriage Laws.  They won’t execute me!  After the dinner tonight, nobody would believe that I was coerced. — — At least he’s not bad in bed.

She pushed open the galley door and was greeted by Jaret who was emboldened by the Captain’s absence.

“Well if it ain’t the high and mighty!” he said sarcastically.  “Quite a leap up from stores clerk to cabin-girl, ain’t it?”

Shaking inside, because she had never simply seized power that she did not actually have, she steeled herself and looked about brightly.  “I’m glad that you agree.  Looking at how you are dressed and how I’m dressed, the difference in our stations is obvious, even to you. Backing that up, of course, is where I sit at dinner and where you sit.

“Now, I need three snack trays delivered to the Captain’s cabin before the second drum of the evening watch.  We will need one with crab-cakes and puffs and a divided center-bowl with sweet sauce and sharp sauces.  The next one should be thin sliced red-weed bread with minced paddle-duck egg spread.  The last one should have crunchy fried fish puffs in an assortment of flavors and a divided center-bowl with tart and sour sauces.  We also need a large flagon of water and a pair of bowls with dried sauce bases, both sweet and tart.”

She looked brightly up at him, standing with his arms truculently crossed.  “Can you remember all of that Jaret?  You didn’t take any notes.”

“Want ‘em all you want, Chit-girl.  You ain’t gonna get ‘em.  Watch changes next drum and the galley’s already closed.”  He started to spin about contemptuously when her icy voice stopped him cold.

“That’s perfectly understandable.  I’m sure Captain Barad will forgive your ruining his evening’s entertainment.  Of course, if he should be in one of those moods, the entire galley crew on this watch could be tomorrow’s entertainment.”

Houfan, the lead journeyman cook of the watch, abruptly pushed Jaret aside so forcefully that the apprentice bounced off a counter.  Houfan had a tallow-slate in hand and a worried look on his face.

“Kurti, …” he searched frantically for a title in this unprecedented situation, “Ma’am, I thought that Jaret was taking care of your order.  I apologize for the rudeness of our heedless apprentice. What was your need again?”

Kurti told him politely and then left.  She closed the door and leaned against it listening.  “What’s the matter with you, boy?  Even if she doesn’t have the Captain’s favor, and she does — ”  There was an inaudible mumble followed by, “He’s spent more on her shoes than your shares will be for a Gathering!  That’s how I know!”  It may only be reflected glory but I actually have some power now that I know how to take it, she thought as she went back to the Captain’s cabin.

She assessed her resources and set out three nested tray tables and matching comfortable chairs.  She cleared the chart table for a sideboard, carefully putting everything away in its proper place. She dressed herself in many layers of loose clothing, the inner ones being of seductive sheers.

The cooks arrived with the food trays, water and plates that she had requested.  She was setting the things up on the sideboard when Houfan spoke up diffidently.

“Ma’am, I wonder, what will you be tellin’ Captain Barad?  About the thing in the galley, I mean?”

She smiled calmly at him and replied, “Why, that you people stayed two drums past your watch to fix these snacks just for his entertainment. Should I say anything more?”

Gratitude filled his eyes as he said, “That would be fine, Ma’am.  Thank you … What are you going to do with the powdered sauce bases that you asked for?”

“I am going to use them to add flavor to the water, Houfan.  Thank you for remembering them.”  He left, almost at a run.

She got out the Captain’s best set of Three Dragons dice, dice boxes, the counters with their boards and the gaming tray, gridded with point spaces.  She was just finishing the setup when Morgu knocked at the open door frame.

Kurti smiled at him, “Come in!  I can’t tell you how much I look forward to this game!”  Won’t is more like it!  I am just getting used to Barad.  I didn’t expect anything like this!

Morgu looked her over in frank appreciation and replied, “Well, this is a change.  I’ve never seen the Captain’s door unlocked and unguarded before.”  He leered, “Nor an openly willing cabin-girl either.”

“The Captain’s door may have been unlocked, because we expected visitors but it is not unguarded.”  Still smiling, she pulled the large Strong Skin tooth dagger from her sash.

“He lets you be armed?” questioned Morgu, disturbed by the development.

“I do,” came the voice of Barad from the door, “I chose the knife for her personally.”  He had his arm about Selked’s shoulder as they came in.  “Where do you want us, Kurti?”

“Chose the chairs and tables that suit you,” she answered, handing the Captain the knife on the flat of her hand.  “I will bring the snacks for the first round.  We have red-weed bread, crab rolls and puffs and crunchy fish puffs in several flavors.  I can flavor your water too, either tart or sweet.”  For the next few minutes she was busy setting up plates and fetching flavored water.

“This is all very nice but where is the gaming table?” asked Morgu slightly petulantly.  The Captain doesn’t let me carry a knife around him!  Why does she get one?

Why, right here,” said Kurti kneeling in the center of the group of chairs and holding out the board in her hands.  She was  grinning with pleasure at the effect that she had created.  “Gentlemen, to your dice!”

Hard cubes of Wing Ray bone rattled in their cups and bounded about the board.  Each was engraved with pictures.  On opposite faces were a skelt and a Glue Fish, paddle duck and Wide Wing, sometimes known as a Sea Hawk, and Strong Skin paired to Lesser Sea Dragon.

As the dice came to rest, enthusiastic players leaned close.

“Ha! My paddle duck eats your Glue Fish!” Morgu said excitedly.

“Yes, but my Strong Skin eats you both!” cried the Captain in childlike glee.

“If you will look,” said Selked calmly, “my Glue Fish is on 45.  Your paddle duck is on twelve and the Strong Skin is only on fourteen. Glue Fish escapes with 19!  Pay up!”  Grumbling cheerfully they forfeited counters.

“Now, Morgu,” said the Captain, “will you pay me to escape or be eaten?”

“I’m eaten,” he said, shifting a peg down one hole on the ‘food’ board that also held his counters.

The next throw and the next followed suit.  As they were preparing for the fifth throw, Kurti announced, “This is a hand throw gentlemen. Are you ready?”

They Shook their dice boxes and threw.  The Captain threw another Strong Skin.  Morgu threw a Wide Wing and Selked threw a Dragon.

She called out cheerfully, “Hand throw, no point escapes.  Dragon eats all.  Pay Master Selked the points you are on and move one down the food board.  Master Selked, move two up and receive this prize!” She untied the loose collar of her first blouse and slid out of it, handing it to the startled Master.

“I see — One at each hand throw?  To the winner?”

“Yes,” she said smiling at the impression that she had made.

Looking carefully at how she was dressed, Morgu said, “This could be a long game.”

“Unless the Captain commands it otherwise, yes, it will be,” she replied. “More refreshments?”  Dragons help me!  I am actually enjoying this.  Whatever happens later, I’m having fun now!

The game went on its wild way, long into the night. The men were amazed at how many clothes one small lady could wear and still look good. And how transparent some of the last ones could be.

At last, there was only one short, transparent gown with a little Longin Lace trim.  As the hand throw came up, Kurti said, “This is the end of the game, Gentlemen.  There will be two hand throws.  Lowest is eaten and out of the game on the first throw, and the winner of the second will have this,” she fingered the diaphanous material, “and myself in his bed until morning watch is drummed.”

Dice rattled in cups and bounded about the board, thrown one at a time, to increase the suspense.  Morgu, as winner of the last hand threw first.  A Wide Wing.   Selked threw next.  The die rebounded twice off the edges of the board before coming to rest.  A dragon.  Barad’s throw hit the side and rolled over twice.  A Strong Skin.

Morgu was downcast until Kurti put down the board for a moment and said, “You deserve a consolation prize.”  She gave him a hug and a kiss.  “Have good dreams.  The game was well played.”

Taking up the board again, she held it to Master Selked.  He was so nervous that his throw nearly missed the board.  A Glue Fish.

Ruefully, he said, “Well Captain, it appears that you have kept your beauty.”

“I still have to make my throw to be sure.”  He cast his die.  A skelt.  They stared.  Barad leaned back in his chair and laughed a big hooting laugh.  When he calmed down, he turned to Selked.  “Never give up.  Just because your cast is low doesn’t mean the other guy can’t get lower!  Have a good night, you two!”

Kurti got a robe and slippers and went with Master Selked.

TO BE CONTINUED

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[heyktula]

Fic Breakdown for Closer, Chapter One (aka, the DVD Extras)

So, chapter one of Closer, the first installment in Somewhere in Canada (the Terror kink AU)... went up today! And let me tell you what, I am hype because this is my very first longfic in the Terror fandom, and it's centered around a subject very near and dear to my heart—BDSM. It's a love letter to power exchange, the sheer joy of kink, conventions, and sex education.

Like other fic breakdowns I've done, this'll be in three parts—technical notes (like POV and stylistic choices), story notes (like characterization and kink info), and then, instead of the editing section I usually include, I'm going to talk about specific lines at the end.

I blame Edward for the line notes, tbh. I love him, but he's a himbo, and many things went unobserved in the course of this story.

(Okay, fine, it's not entirely his fault. Some of it is that he's just so steeped in kink that he doesn't think twice about a bunch of the stuff going on.)

Technical Considerations

Inspiration: So this fic is a love letter to kink, and kink education, and conventions, which in my experience can be life-changing opportunities to meet people with similar interests, and also to be able to do some exploration of your own and figure out what makes you tick. I'm pretty sure there's an AU version of me that makes their living off kink education and the convention circuit, but (un)fortunately, in this particular universe, I am a fic writer (and, occasionally, a paid one as well).

Closer is also a love letter to rough physical play. I remember sitting in my very first workshop on the topic, and just being wide-eyed that a) this is a thing, b) it looks fun. (It is, actually, fun.) There's a ton of reasons I love it—and hopefully, after Closer concludes, you'll be able to see some of the reasons why—but I also love that physical play doesn't have any financial barriers to entry. (The irony of Edward "rich boy" Little being heavily into it has not escaped me.)

Timeline:  Hilariously, I actually started this verse for a Fitzier fic—it takes place six months from Closer, at the winter version of the conference—but while I was working my way through the Fitzier setup, I was like 'fuck it, I should write a quick one-off joplittle to establish the verse', and lo and behold, my "quick one-off" turned out to be sixty k, and it runs parallel to a Tozer/Irving that I  have yet to write, but which is visible in Closer if you squint. So, uh, oops.

So this story fits into a very specific space in the timeline—that is, it's prior to Fitzjames and Crozier having met, but it's after the (second) Cracroft/Crozier breakup. (If you were wondering if that's why Francis isn't running his own damn booth, yes, that's why. He's very likely depression drinking in London at this very moment.)

Setting: I wanted to stay true to the spirit of the whole, you know, boatload of white men going to Canada and being confused, but I wanted them to go for better reasons. It's so rare that we get shows set in Canada, you know? And I feel very passionately about our winters here, in that I complain about them while they're happening, but I do also kind of enjoy the challenge, in a really fucked-up sort of a way. So I set the fic in Canada too, and then, because I was explicitly setting it here, I also got to lean into a bunch of Canadian stereotypes (like Goodsir living his best life in plaid and denim and the inevitable Tim Horton's jokes) and I actually had a lot of fun doing it, so I guess that was something I learned about myself.

Story Considerations:

Primary Kinks: So most people involved in BDSM have a "thing"—you know, the thing that they care about more than they care about any other things. And one of the most fun things for me about creating an AU like this is going through the characters and figuring out what everybody's niche is. Like, it makes sense to me that Hickey would be that edgeplay asshole that's in the kink scene specifically so he can fuck with people. Tozer having a military fetish (and also being a bit of a kink snob) totally fits with his whole "now what the bloody hell do people think that means?" speech.

If you've ever been to a fetish convention, you've seen guys like Blanky, who have been in the scene forever, and made their name handcrafting BDSM gear. They're easy to talk to, and will totally tell you about that time they ran an entire scene using only items found in their kitchen. You've seen women like Sophia Cracroft, who have a cluster of people surrounding her at all times, and who is never short of someone who will bring her tea if it looks like she's thirsty. And you've also seen guys like Ross, who are reasonably famous in their areas of expertise—the kind of guy that you see across the hall, and you're like "shit, is that James Clark Ross?" (And it is! Holy shit!)

Canadian Kink: So! I live in the prairies, and it's as conservative as hell out here. That means there's some specifics to kink culture that I'm not sure translate to other parts of Canada—and they definitely don't translate back to England. For example, every public event I've ever been to (by which I mean every event that wasn't being held in someone's house) has mandated that penetration cannot occur during the event. No toys in orifices, no bits in other bits, no mucous membranes touching, no oral, no fingering, no handjobs, no intercourse, all that kind of stuff. I'm not convinced that you couldn't have sex in a dungeon in, say, Vancouver, or Toronto, or any of the other bigger centers—but that hasn't been my experience in the prairies, and I kept those restrictions for plot purposes in Closer. (Sorry, Jopson. I promise I still love you.)

Canadian weapons laws being what they are also means that some of the gear that's totally okay in other places (like butterfly knives) is totally illegal in Canada (sorry, Tozer. No apologies for you, Hickey.). The sap gloves that Edward is mourning are, unfortunately, one of the items that get lost in the shuffle. Sap gloves are pretty neat—they're leather gloves which are weighted with lead on the knuckles/backs of the hands. They make your punches harder, but they also protect your hands—and, for somebody like Edward, who does a lot of punching when he plays, that protection is definitely beneficial. Plus, they're a bit of a signalling thing—having a set of sap gloves hanging off your belt makes it very clear what kind of things you're into, and I think Edward is a bit bereft not having that this weekend, because he's not used to having to make those introductions cold.

Edgeplay: There's sort of a, er. Spectrum of what is and isn't considered to be "acceptable" kink, even within the kink community. Some kinds of kink are seen as more publicly acceptable, and some kinds are relegated back to the fringes and the dark corners. In the context of Closer, that means Tozer, Hickey, and Little are our resident edgeplayers. This isn't a judgement on the type of play they do (well, it is a judgement on Hickey, but we don't have time to go into *gestures* all that), but it is a statement about the way that type of play is perceived. Sophia Cracroft can, with very little finessing, put photographs of her in rope suspension onto her various social media accounts, and as long as she's clothed, it's perfectly acceptable content to just have out there, and people are going to call it artistic and Instagram-worthy. Tozer, on the other hand, ain't getting any recordings of interrogation scenes he's run posted anywhere except to Pornhub.  (The less we say about Hickey's knife-play, the better.)

Similarly, because the rough physical play that Edward does looks fairly intense from the outside (and is pretty intense from the inside), he gets to live in the not-that-publicly-acceptable area of kink. The area of kink where they usually put the crash mats at the far end of the dungeon, because that way, if you don't want to watch two people whaling on each other with their fists, you don't need to see it. This "stigma" is important in Edward's conception of himself, because on one hand, we see in his conversation with Goodsir that Edward absolutely knows his shit and, hero-worship of Crozier aside, has the knowledge base to be a fantastic educator in his own right—but we also see the subtle kinkshaming coming from both Hickey and Tozer about where Edward's place is in all this. That is to say—Edward's place is with them, in the dark shadowy spots, and not in the "socially acceptable" circles that Crozier's circle of people (Jopson included) are perceived to be running in. (There's a sense, coming from Tozer, that there's no point in Edward pursuing getting onto the org committee for the conference itself, because they won't want someone like Edward there—but, again, that's some pretty insidious kinkshaming coming from Tozer, and we could all just let that go and be better for it. Goodsir clearly doesn't feel like Edward's presence would be a detriment.)

So, yeah. I'll excuse Tozer's kinkshaming bullshit temporarily, as he needs to sort himself out. I don't think he's trying to drag Edward down so much as he just thinks Edward's being a bit delusional, and wants to save him the disappointment when Jopson invariably rejects him for being way too kinky and intense. (If Edward is moping around all weekend, he'll be in the hotel room, and how's Tozer supposed to get his dick sucked by random hookups then? "Yeah, come on back to mine, don't mind my roommate, he's a moody bastard and won't participate even if we ask." Not winning any prizes there, lads.)

I won't excuse Hickey's kinkshaming; he's definitely trying to make Edward feel like shit on purpose. I could speculate as to the reasons, but they're probably gross. (I mean, I know the reasons. Hickey's gonna Hickey.)

(There's a whole entire essay I could write about incorrect assumptions that literally everyone is making about the type of play Thomas Jopson must be into, based on his nice hair and nice eyes and nice smile, but I'll just let Jopson handle those corrections on his own, as he's very capable of doing so.)

Concerning the Chapter Title: If you were gonna take a risk, Neddo, the social was the time to do it—and you done fucked that up, sweetheart.

Tomorrow is another day. Give it another shot then, yeah?

Line Notes:

Edward looks across the hall again, cringes. “No, fuck, that’s—no, I think that’s Sophia Cracroft, Sol, I’m not—Christ. Sophia Cracroft, Jesus.”

I will never not find this introduction to Edward Little fucking hilarious, because he comes off as so competent from Jopson's POV when he's arguing with Hickey in the parking lot, and yet the moment we see Edward in his own POV, he's just a mess. I love him very much, but he's a mess. This was one of the deciding factors in the dual POV as well—I knew going in that the brunt of the story was going to be from Edward's POV, but weaving in those occasional Jopson bits lets us see how Edward looks from the other side.

(Also, Tozer three hundred percent knows exactly who Sophia Cracroft is, because he demonstrates that, like, two sentences later, meaning that he’s literally just winding Edward up here, and it goes right over Edward’s head. God.)

It’s the older guy across the hall that’s laughing his ass off, but the cutie is standing right next to him, looking down at his phone, his ears charmingly pink. 

As a reminder, Edward is wearing a white tank, and just stretched his arms out behind his back. The nipple piercings are very obvious, Jopson was three hundred percent staring, and Blanky definitely caught him and is laughing his ass off about it.

“…I know what this is about,” Tozer says, tying an orange bandana around his left bicep.

The orange bandana is a hanky code thing—which, yes, it's dated, and it's not really in use anymore, but Tozer seems like the kind of guy that would tattoo his kinks on his forehead just so everybody could see them if they would all fit. Failing to find any way to gracefully do that, we instead have the orange hanky ("anything goes") on the left arm ("top").

(Older guy, thankfully, is wearing a ring on the fourth finger of his left hand. Cutie isn’t. So there’s no obvious problems there.)

Jopson not wearing a ring indicates literally nothing about whether or not he's available, but I guess whatever makes Edward feel better about himself is fine. He's right with his assumption about Jopson, in this case, but it's literally nothing more than a wild guess, and the mental hoops he's jumping through only exist to make him feel better about himself.

(Esther usually attends these events with Blanky—but somebody needed to hold down the fort in London this time, and so she's in London at present. It's for the best, she can check on Francis every so often.)

[Hickey] sticks his hand in the pocket of his latex cargo shorts...

I won't take criticism on this fashion statement, constructive or otherwise.



So, that's it for this week! Chapter two, Aware, goes up next Friday! See you then! And if you have questions or anything in the meantime, you can always drop me an ask on tumblr or Curious Cat!

[davidmann95]

Now that it’s been confirmed, thoughts, fears, hopes for 5G? Having Jurgens laying the foundation all but guarantees mediocrity imo. DC doesn’t really have the talent to pull this off imo, far too many mediocre writers running the show there right now, especially with Snyder stepping back.

No starting gun tepid quip to kick us off this time. This is a real shitshow, folks.

The timeline - albeit still heavily redacted - properly leaked recently too, and it’s about as weird and bad as could be expected. Nothing matches up with its actual year of publication (half the reason you’d want to do this in the first place, were you to for some reason think it necessary) and is sometimes out of order even beyond what’s demanded by the still very dumb conceit of there being pre-Superman public superheroes, Billy Batson should be in at least his late 20s and definitely joins the Justice League twice, Final Crisis is of course the one obvious major thing that’s dropped, and cruelest of all, Superman got his dumb Jim Lee armor the year I was born. At least the fact that everything happening ‘now’ seems to indeed be in 1997 as rumored - not that they’ll explore any of the potential implications of that - means they can redo Armageddon 2001 like everyone’s been clamoring for, but this is pure dumb nerd bookkeeping for bookkeeping’s sake. And not the fun kind like The Multiversity Guidebook, where it mashes existing concepts up against each other alongside whole new ideas to generate something original, this is so the kind of people who think that sort of thing matters can have a big ‘ol circlejerk over at long last knowing with certainty exactly what year Damian Wayne was born, at least until the inexorable march of time obviously renders the whole thing null and void. Nothing of substance is gained, much of the thematic underpinning and a chunk of the detachment necessary for proper suspension of disbelief is lost, and they can’t even do their dumb idea competently.

As for today’s more formal announcement, paired with Generation Zero, DC really does seem to have spent the lead time this clearly had compared to the New 52 or Rebirth to calculate how to botch this as horrifically as possible while still maintaining some thin veneer of professionalism. After Lobdell tees them up, they’re kicking off their big new official history with a guy who’s written 15 single issues lifelong, the last of which was a decade ago? And of the uninspired, uninspiring list of creators, in spite of trying to maintain some myyyysterryyyyy of who’s doing what, it’s painfully transparent what the creative teams are and where they’re going. Generation Two: Age of the Metahuman (such a perfectly dumb, unevocative name, which is also untrue because there were definitely superpeople around in the JSA, that’s kind of the point) is going to be Jurgens and Reis, because Jurgens is the boring ‘retro’ guy so they’ll put him on the Silver Age chunk where he can be trusted to not dare invite any questions like “hey wait if Superman debuted the year after Kennedy died, what’s the impact on the American psyche?” and Reis is classic in a way that fits. Generation Three: Age of Crisis is going to be Williamson and Marquez, because they’ve worked together and Williamson is a Flash/continuity guy. Generation Four: Age of Rebirth is Vendetti and Hitch because they’ve worked together and that’s the period where Vendetti became a name of note. And Generation Five: Age of Tomorrow is Bendis and Janin, because Bendis is other than maybe Tynion their headman with Snyder stepping down and Johns irrelevant - plus this’ll be about new kids, his jam - and Janin has a Bendis Legion issue coming up and has made clear he’ll have something big in 5G, I expect also with Bendis.

This has neither the consistency to be a detached historical overview, nor the talent to be a proper prestige showcase. Forget nabbing Orlando, or Taylor, or Visaggio, or Bennett, or Tynion, or Yang, or anyone else who could have taken this setup and maybe dragged something clever or charming out of it: we’ve got two journeymen, Bendis when he’s mostly turned in pedestrian work lately other than his lightning-in-a-bottle work on Superman, a guy who doesn’t seem to have written a comic in a decade and almost nothing back then, and Dan Jurgens. At least the art’ll slap, but if I didn’t know better I’d almost think the intended message here is “if you’re not the kind of junkie lifer who slurps this nonsense up or the folks who stick it out through the junk to reach the gems, jump off now”; more plausibly this is DC’s equivalent to Marvel panicking post-Secret Wars with the Image creator exodus, reverting to type, and rapidly blowing all their Marvel NOW! goodwill. The circumstances are certainly ripe, with the aforementioned absences of Snyder and Johns, Orlando somewhat divesting himself, King ending his time on regular monthly books for the foreseeable future, Black Label’s launch not going as likely hoped, and Way presumably stepping back from Young Animal for the MCR tour.

5G itself? I’ll get Bendis’s Superman and/or Justice League, I’ll try that rumored John Ridley Batman, I’ll pick up whatever looks interesting as usual. But while I think that in spite of recent losses they do in fact have the talent pool and the potential new hires waiting in the wings to put out a lot of good books in spite of the setup this has gotten, do I think they will recruit and deploy said talent properly? Absolutely nothing I have seen has given me reason to believe them capable of it right now. Why should I when once again Doomsday Clock, which as a DC book had reason to act optimistic about it, assumed this would last all of 5 years? Underneath all the circumstances surrounding it this kind of bold leap forward is a daring, fascinating idea, and I’m gonna be so disappointed when it plays out as catastrophically as it looks to.

[mysterylover123]

BNHA Rewatch: Episode 60 “A Talk about Your Quirk”

mysterylover123

aka the one where TodoBaku failed. And something about Bakugou and one for all and a possible re-match…

YAY DEKU. And all class 1-A except for TodoBaku. Where is the justice that Mineta passes and they don’t.

KACCHAN NO.

Inasa no.

Todoroki no.

At least his three main love interests are consoling him.

Nice thanks Inasa. I forgive you.

Wow someone’s about to burst.

Shut up Mineta thank you Iida.

The results! Is it obsessive that I kinda wanna know the specifics.  Why did Ojiro fall so low? 94 Momo makes sense. But Deku should have more.

Wow Mera goes and lays an unintentional guilt trip on Katsuki. No wonder this lead to…something…important maybe…

Yay they have a chance to get their licenses back in an absolutely wonderful and hilarious little mini-arc that’s gonna kill me when it airs next season.

AW DEKU’S LITTLE TEARFUL FACE.

More sinister Uraraka faces. Half-shaded in the manga.

I think Aoyama has a little crush on Inasa.

Deku wants to know about Camie’s training. He isn’t even blushing. Are you no longer interested in girls like that, Deku?

CAMIETOGA! The big reveal here is pretty incredible. It makes everything so much more interesting.

“Tomura’s gonna be happy” cause I ship those two a little. Also, Toga’s shape-shifting quirk set off a nearly unprecedented string of “Toga is impersonating X” theories until we learned the true extent of how long she could use her quirk for.

All Might and All for One. Wow he’s still in his old superhero  costume.

Yeah, believe that All might. All for One’s gonna escape some day. Story needs him.

“What do you want?” I wanna know that too. WHAT IS YOUR MOTIVE AFO?!?!

“We’re not so different you and I” I guess. Maybe? In terms of stature and legend, sure.

“Why would you need a successor?” I don’t know that either. “I’m more machine now than man” stuff.  I’m curious as to why AFO doesn’t tell anyone about OFA. I’m so curious about him, dammit, I wanna know more.

Yay his theme again. I love it. It’s perfect.

You know, AFO has a point here. All Might living without any power is actually even more poignantly tragic than just killing him off would have been. You see? You can create tragedy without killing off a character.

He doesn’t confirm that Tomura is actually going to kill Deku here. I’m still kind of a Dad-for-One Theorist so I think All Might isn’t completely right here.

This cape swish here is cool. Is it wrong that this argument feels kinda petty to me, like two teen mean queens?

Well, I guess the eps over, nothing more to see here, just UA winding down from the…

Oh. Oh.

“WE NEED TO HAVE A TALK ABOUT YOUR QUIRK” Holy Crap it’s here!

Flashbacks! OMG their cute flashbacks it’s happening.

Ground Beta. Where he lost.

THE VOICE ACTING ON BAKUGOU HERE. BOTH DUBS.

Wow no music just to make it extra suspenseful.

Bakugou is smart. Though he can’t claim too much credit, because Deku told him. Deku surpassed him.  

I love the way they close-up on everything but his eyes.

Deku looks fierce here.

YEEEESSS

Bakugou, as an aside, is hot in this scene. They both are. It’s deep and tragic, but they both look fine.

“Here is my 50 page thesis on how I’m sure All Might gave you his power”.

The Music’s swelling OMG.

DAT VOICE ACTING.

Deku’s freaking face his face that face

Wow that outstretched hand. I have expected him to ask him to dance.

IT’S ON.

Episode 60 mostly just wraps up the PLE arc. It’s made up of three set pieces: The results and departure, All Might and AFO, and the DVK2 setup talk. The first is good, mostly exposition based; the second is not bad, but honestly not as exciting as the premise indicates. The third, though…that third part…next episode. NEXT EPISODE.

BKDK CORNER:

This is it. It’s starting.

1. Bakugou could’ve gone to other friends with his personal problems. He could have talked about his PTSD and guilt to anyone of his squad. But he tells Deku. This isn’t the first time he’s cried in front of him either. Deku is the person he brings his problems too.

2. Deku could have chosen not to come meet with him. He could’ve said no and Bakugou would’ve had to accept it and go on brooding. But he went. Because he cares.

3. Bakugou has been watching Deku this whole time. Close enough to see his progress. To see just how he reacted to ‘now it’s your turn.’ To notice exactly when Deku started changing. He always watches Deku, who watches him right back (“Somehow, I knew.”) They’re always thinking of each other.

4. Bakugou knew exactly how Deku felt afterwards. He gets him.

5. Deku could’ve chosen not to tell Bakugou the truth. To make up some other story. But he chooses, in his own way to let him know. Because he knows he needs it. And he can’t stand to lie to him.

6. Baku proves himself a very trustworthy confidante, as he makes sure no one can overhear them (unlike Deku, who said All Might’s secret loudly and in public where anyone could.

7. Holy crap look how much I wrote about them in only the first scene. Next recap’s probably gonna be novel-length.

BEST GIRL OF THE EPISODE: Toga I guess. She makes quite an impression here.

RANKER: Main PLE arc episodes, Ranked

7. Episode 53 “The Test”

6. Episode 54” Shiketsu High Lurking”

5. Episode 55 “Class 1-A”

4. Episode 57 “Rescue Exercises”

3. Episode 56 “RUSH”

2. Episode 59 “What’s the big Idea”

1. Episode 60 “A Talk About your quirk”

[dogcopter]

Rose is Liveblog 2020: Steven Universe Future

Rose is Liveblog 2020 Masterlist

Lion hasn’t shown up much yet in Future, but if he’s Rose that’ll likely be the business of an episode or two down the road.

Rose Buds

Lion has a cameo at the very end. It plays some suspensful music that sounds like a leitmotif I don’t recognize (I’m not good at the music but I know there’s lore involved), shows the empty space where the portrait was:

Note it was next to Cat Steven’s, who Lion has been shown napping with a few times.

Then a pic of Steven in bed with Lion sleeping at the foot.

Steven does mention him earlier when talking to the Roses, but he doesn’t appear before that. End of video. I also have some non-Lion (or Lion adjacent really) meta for you since this is a Rose lore episode.

I’ll happily go either way on her, but let’s talk Shy Rose.

A meta take/theory on this episode: If the portrait being gone has more than one meaning, maybe Rose's astral projection state has changed too? Thought: Rose no longer possessing Lion? Ergo Rose really is Shy Rose after all?

Edit: I believe this now, based on thoughts from this liveblog. Shy Rose is Rose Theory Post here

It would be interesting if she is - like she’d made herself a Rose Quartz gem?  (Ethically I would prefer if Rose had like made an “empty” gemstone and is not hijacking another living thinking gem’s body for her own purposes, so we’ll see what comes of her. Is that even possible?) She did want to fit right in and play with the Amethysts. It’s not impossible she tried to find another way to do that while making a kindergarten of Rose Quartzes for her cover story. Or maybe the others were part of the process of finding the right appearance. After all, she’s the only one we’ve seen who looks exactly like Pearl’s OC - there aren’t even any others with curly hair. And the Crystal Gem Rose would be nervous to meet Steven, startled to see the others, concerned about Pearl, concerned about Steven, & she would have sworn she “wouldn’t talk about this”. All consistent, it’s still possible. If Shy Rose isn’t Rose, she’s just an emotionally intelligent stranger who’s hyper-aware of how much she looks like Rose. If she is Rose, this is like...idk...Rose nervously in the secret OC body, maybe wanting to talk to him, maybe playing it safe first to see how they react, weighing the idea of yet another false life...maybe scared to do it or not sure how. This would be a good setup for Steven corrupting honestly, if that’s gonna happen, or at least whatever mom issues-induced total meltdown Future has been building to. Yeah I still buy it. And then this:

Please don't leave like this! I'm really sorry. It's not like I don't like you or don't want you here. It's just that you look so much like her; like my Mom. I thought I was ready to move on and not have her hanging over me anymore, but I can barely be in a room with you because I still feel all twisted up about her.

Since Steven specifically mentions her appearance is triggering, both about Shy Rose personally and not the others, maybe that makes her hesitate to tell him the truth further. And he says he’s trying to put his mom behind him.

Shy Rose looks down for a second when he says he feels all twisted up about her. In this lighting, her coloration is more like Rose’s, too. Could be a guilty conscience. Steven also says something important if this is a Lion/Rose hearing about Steven’s struggles moment: 

I've been pretending that I'm fine because it's not your fault, but I'm not fine.

he admits he’s not ok. He still hasn’t done this to the Crystal Gems as of Prickly Pair, even though it’s clear, but he did tell the Roses. And if this is Rose, then some of his problems are actually her fault.

Ofc what Shy Rose says at the end seems to indicate she’s not Rose:

Your mom created us too, and got us all bubbled, just for being Rose Quartzes.

At the same time... not only is that a true statement, if she’s Rose, both talking about her own former identity with scorn & being mad at Rose Quartz is still characterization consistent with Rose Quartz; she was down on herself in We Need to Talk and during the rebellion she told gems like Garnet and Bismuth stories about how terrible Pink Diamond was... so ok, I’ll bite. It would add a layer to all her reactions in the ep if that’s so. I’d love if Shy Rose is in fact her own person and showed up again so we could see another side to her though, because looking like Rose is an interesting dilemma.

[punkscowardschampions]

Fearghal & Kaitlin

Fearghal: [So the setup is sending her a postcard pretending to be a mate visiting in England for whatever reason (could be fam you get the vibe, nothing suspect given the time this is) but giving enough info that she 1. Knows it is him 2. has the number of at least a phonebox nearby if not a phone in his care home 3. a time when he plans to first call the phonebox nearest their home in Ireland, assumedly this is some sneaky twin shit they've pulled similar enough before that she can catch on without any of the rest of the fam also doing so; only question is how long do we want it to be since he left?] Kaitlin: [3 months ish later then and they've turned 15 but only just for our ref how do we think the situation is with his dad etc like would he just be acting like he's dead cos is to him?] Fearghal: [basically my vibe was they wanted to weaponize Tabby killing herself for their gain, like make it something political even though literally not about that bar the fact her family and his family and co didn't want them together and she was a dramatic teenage girl in love (no offense but like) and so when he wouldn't go along with that there was a massive fight, actual, between him and his dad and then Fearghal left 'cos there's never any option but to do as your told with this fam and he can't lose face with all the other people etc etc and the story the dad is telling the fam etc is that Fearghal deserted them which not untrue but yeah, good enough for all the olders to disown him too so it'd be like we don't talk about him and if someone else bring him up you denounce him] Kaitlin: [let's say there's a crying baby in the background cos like in my OG post she can use her youngest sister needing fresh air as an excuse so casually left her outside the phonebox but might be able to hear her if she's going for it] Kaitlin: How ya Fearghal: K? Fuck's sake, you've not had a bastard, have ya? 's'not been that long, like Kaitlin: Catch yourself on! mind how ya ma was fit to drop, you eejit? well we're all lurred she had another girl who I'm hauling about as my cover, so I am Fearghal: [Laughs] Still easy to windup then [slight pause to take in that it's a girl and is here, like not the biggest shock but also literally no way of knowing at this time so] And go on, don't leave me in suspense, what name they burden the poor fucker with Kaitlin: [makes an unimpressed noise like fuck off] full of that good craic you are, bet the brits are buzzing to hear it. You ready? Niamh Roisin, it's a cracker, like [sighs] Fearghal: [laughs some more] Yeah, catch me on that most wanted list, obviously [makes a wincing noise like no] Christ, actually lost it fully then, has she? Made it longer than some but dunno if mentals get to heaven, haveta ask Father Quigley, like Kaitlin: [laughs herself] yeah yeah [makes like a idk noise] can you lose what you've never had? A good catholic'll find a way, to be sure, and she is that, our ma [makes a scornful noise at the mention of the priest as is standard for her] Fearghal: [makes a mm noise to agree] Suppose so, don't reckon much was said 'bout being good to 'em once you had 'em, so be alright [sighs] What have you been up to, then...How's it been Kaitlin: if it was she'd recite between the lines to keep us anyone's problem but hers, poor critter [sarcastic laugh because mum's getting no real sympathy] it could've been 3 days from when you went off for what's changed and not- [a long pause because everything's shit and we know it is] Fearghal: What's God if not top babysitter, eh? Cheaper than telly and who's giving money to the BBC [scoffs but cuts it short 'cos yep] And I'm fine too, you rude cow Kaitlin: and stand him next to our earthly da and he comes out lookin' class [chefs kiss noise] Hey now! [makes a fake noise of shock like she's appalled at the mention of the bbc] watch your profanity around me, dicko! [really long exaggerated sigh as a pisstake] a'course you are, land well anywhere, but hit me with your bars, it's no bother to hear how right I am Fearghal: If you can get him stand still long enough, like and you ain't a lad so no chance, babe [does pisstake wistful sigh] Forgot you needed protecting from the evils of this world, my apologies [coughs awkwardly then, stalling for time, fiddling with the phone in ways she can probably hear] Taking a bow as we speak, can't fit in here with me but the adoring fans are aplenty over this way, well more than there so fuck it, life's grand so it is Kaitlin: Wise up, boy, he only sways slightly of an evening on these ones lately so he does [but her voice is MAD because fuck being a girl in this fam] Did you now? Thank fuck my new lad has his uses then, like [takes a deep breath to try and calm down but exaggerates it for the pisstake because have to, god forbid they are serious rn] I went and saw your former biggest fan under that rock they've carved with protestant shite, no word on if life's grander for her now it's ended or if she's regretting she didn't send her prayers up saying she wanted another bite of the cherry, one that wasn't yours- [stops like I've probably gone a bit far here and shouldn't mention his dead ex anymore] Fearghal: Good for him [through gritted teeth like let's never talk about him thank you] Like you need a replacement protector, got how many ready and willing at home, just DYING to beat the shit out of some 15 year old kid for your honour and just for the craic of it [does it back, like and then is silent until the pips are going but he's still there 'cos they stop when he puts more money in] You'll be under some rock with Catholic shite if they catch you in their graveyard [says it much more quietly than he's said the rest] Kaitlin: [makes a noise of disgust that doesn't need to be exaggerated for the pisstake cos genuinely horrified at this fam thanks] what honour? Shame you brought down on us with what they caught you at [but her voice is softer too because didn't mean to go off and also doesn't mean any of that we know] supposed to scare me, is it? [said like I wouldn't be here to give them a chance to do it just like you weren't] Fearghal: Why you need to ask one of the others, ain't it; can't be the best looking of the bunch and the best behaved, got to leave something for 'em to do and impressing n pleasing him 's'never been high on my to-do so have at it, lads [does meh noise like this is all so casual] Called the fear of God for a reason, aye Kaitlin: [does the meh noise back and it's her turn to awkwardly fiddle with the phone/cough while she works up to saying what she does next, more quietly than she has anything else] how's it truly then? Away and everything. Free and clear Fearghal: It's, like- just shit because you realize that everything that happens in that fucking town, all the stuff that rules our lives and is all they give a shit about, no other cunt does, you know, Kait? Sure, its on the news when another bomb goes off or don't and that; but the English don't even have to think about it, their day to day ain't affected at all, no fucker but our lot cares and what's the point, honestly? Everything we were forced to at least think was important, if not fecking stupid, ain't and now I don't- [Stops to do some actual breathing to calm down] Not to mention I'm thick as shite, thanks for that and all- 'cos frees a bloody joke [laughs bitterly] I get by, now, got a place to stay so, don't haveta worry but don't be hopping the next ferry yourself, girl Kaitlin: [when you're just silent for ages because as much as you think it's bullshit you're basically in a cult rn with no chance of getting out so what can you say like] not that thick, warning me off coming to keep an eye on all these english girls with theirs on ya but no bother 'cause mind I get sea sick and class as boking on brits sounds I'd get fairly covered myself before I made any casualties of 'em Fearghal: Know enough about girls and enough about you to know the two don't need mixing, that's just school of life, that [moving away a bit and telling someone who's impatiently waiting to fuck off] Stay put [when you say it firmly like serious voice] That wain and the rest needs someone VAGUELY sane about to stand any chance, fuck me, Aislinn's already been corrupted and she's barely in double digits [kicks the box] Kaitlin: [laughs because yeah don't let her around any girls you like babe] you should know enough about me to know what giving me your orders'll do fer ya and what it'll make me do [but there's no actual real threat in it we all know she's staying for the bubs] Sane as you by that count, ain't I? [can't help genuinely sighing] Mammy's girl is Aislinn been like it since she was old enough to play house [grimaces at the thought cos never that bitch] got the rest under MY apron strings, grand they are and it goes for the stories I tell 'em every night after prayers, rest easy yourself knowing that, yeah? Fearghal: Alright, alright [hear the 🙄😏] But if you wanna be the next to bring shame on 'em, you can do better than a cheeky abortion, surely? [shakes his head] Yeah. [Pause] Yeah [Coughs again] I'm doing my bit, swear, it's gonna take a while 'til I can send you anything and I've got to work out how when I do- it ain't for them, just you lot but like I said, not cheap Kaitlin: [an outraged noise like who do you think you're talking to, of course I can do better than that etc] Yeah. [Pauses herself because again what to say, there's so much it's too much] I've got faith in the right shite, Gally [nickname ftw because feels] it'll work out. We'll work it out, like we did this Fearghal: 'Course we will, K. No other choice, is there [definitely not a question] Kaitlin: not a real question, is it? [she knows its not] Fearghal: you want me to ask you one? Kaitlin: do English girls fall for that? Fearghal: Enough of 'em, yeah Kaitlin: [makes a ugh noise] how you've got a bed, is it? Fearghal: Theirs top where mine is Kaitlin: I deeply feel that Fearghal: [makes the kinda sad 'ha' sound like 'I know'] Not all bad though, some class drugs about and you don't get kneecapped for taking a casual interest Kaitlin: [does a little hooray down the phone] Fearghal: Send you some but your phones probably tapped so I definitely won't Kaitlin: thanks or no thanks, depending who'll be listening Fearghal: Cover those bases and the baby's ears Kaitlin: nothing to be heard over her crying Fearghal: don't lie, you miss me that much [laughs] Kaitlin: fuck off [but laughs too] Fearghal: Will do Fearghal: so many English girls Kaitlin: [exaggerated being sick noise] nowhere close to a ferry and sick as a dog, don't start me any further Fearghal: You think I escaped to pray every day and fight the good fight, like Kaitlin: if you still pray you ain't escaped fuck all Fearghal: Not living on my knees for no cunt, sis Fearghal: am being haunted, for my sins, though Kaitlin: Be on track to commit more, you'll have enough ghosts for all manner of shite to get done Fearghal: No rest for the wicked on the one hand, but on the other, idle hands and idle minds [breathes out like so conflicted and confused] Kaitlin: [a change in tone because serious] She's gone, so are you. Leave it here. Leave it in this fucking town Fearghal: Not a choice Kaitlin: Can be Fearghal: Nah, s'not, boths already happened Kaitlin: Happened to you, gives you a say in how you deal with it Fearghal: Yeah Kaitlin: You've lived in one haunted house as things stand, ain't you? Miss home that much, is it? Fearghal: How could I not? Live for these lectures, like Kaitlin: [an unamused noise because you're basically calling her a nagging girl which ain't a mood] Fearghal: [the pips again] Oh shit, should robably let you go, yeah? Kaitlin: Yeah probably [but she obvs doesn't wanna that'd be clear] Fearghal: Tell the kids I miss 'em, won't ya Kaitlin: I'll even include her out there Fearghal: Try and send a picture some time, alright Kaitlin: 'Course Fearghal: You too, kid Kaitlin: [laughs but in a more genuine way] You're my twin brother, calling me kid is calling yourself a wain, you eejit Fearghal: That's alright by me, like Kaitlin: I'll not baby you, got enough noses and arses to wipe here while you're hand holding these brits Fearghal: No handholding, on me life, just good old-fashioned- [will cut him off before he can be gross] Kaitlin: [we can say she cuts him off with a very unamused noise as per like no thank you] Fearghal: G'wan then, piss off before that kid freezes to death Kaitlin: [doesn't wanna be the first one to hang up obvs] Watch yourself then Fearghal: You too Fearghal: When can we do this again then Kaitlin: When can you? It's no bother for me to slip out with this ginger whinger, needs fresh air so she does Fearghal: [laughs then is pondering like umm] Try next Sunday, after church, if I don't answer then I'll send another postcard or whatever, yeah Kaitlin: Tryin' to get a free sermon told to ya, respect that hustle if not the message Fearghal: Obviously, how am I getting to heaven from England? Kaitlin: [laughs] no angels in England is there not? You'll have been thinking on your feet for fresh pick up lines all these months, no wonder you ain't had time for me, like Fearghal: Something like that... [Trails off 'cos don't wanna tell her what's really been going on but also does 'cos not its like that and its been a lot to just deal with on his own] Kaitlin: But it's something else like what? [cos sees through you boyyy] Fearghal: It's alright now, like Fearghal: but it ain't as if the old man sent me on me way with anywhere to go, is it Kaitlin: He didn't put a bullet in your head as a send off, that's what gets me to sleep of a night, but- [trails off because she was gonna say she knows it hasn't been easy but she doesn't know how hard it's been and she's not trying to guess like let's compare struggles] Kaitlin: Yeah [another pause] Fearghal: Should've put one in his [so under his breath it's like did you mean that to be heard or] Kaitlin: You'd have to take ma out an' all, I don't reckon the broken heart myth is anything other than another story, and probably a few of us would make the cut for cute little orphans but you and me'd have to catch ourselves on quick and wise up Fearghal: Make Tara look after you all as well as Diarmaid's kids, see how committed to the family she really is [sniffs 'cos we been knew] Kaitlin: [makes an identical sound cos twinning] I'll take her out if she was bothered to try and get near 'em Fearghal: Least Owie is old enough to help out, young enough to give a clout, yeah? [genuine concern] Kaitlin: [scoffs because we know he's a bit of a knob but it's still affectionate because] Fearghal: He'll be alright [but doesn't sound as reassuring as that's meant to be 'cos like unlikely at this point] Kaitlin: He's got me, my will's stronger than god's so father Q likes to say [laughs] under his breath, a'course Fearghal: [laughs back but its less 'cos sad] He doesn't always chat shite Kaitlin: Reckon he's a soft spot for me Fearghal: [makes noise like 'hopefully not too soft' but is joking, doesn't need to be that kind of priest] Kaitlin: I don't wish you were here Fearghal: How could he not, with the charm [but just jk like] Is it better, in some ways Kaitlin: It's...[trails off cos we all know even if there's less hassle it's not better as far as she's concerned and the loneliness is a real mood] I'm buzzing you got out [genuine but her voice is sad] Fearghal: Your turn next, I mean it Kaitlin: After we get a few birthday's under Niamh's belt [pauses because it's sinking in how stuck she is for now] and the rest, give 'em a fighting chance Fearghal: Yeah Fearghal: I'll make it easier, any which way I can Kaitlin: Me too, for you, I mean Fearghal: I'm grand, honest but cheers [more pips] I am outta shrapnel though so- Kaitlin: Don't be putting honest on a lie [frustrated sigh because nobody wants this to end but she wouldn't have money] speak Sunday and like I said, watch yourself Fearghal: Love ya, K ['cos no time to take the piss for it or protest] Kaitlin: [let's say she gets cut off before she can say it back for the pain]