#the smart part of me recognizes that is probably a very bad idea

[ruth-posts-pokemon]

You would not believe your eyes

If a hulking red Dhelmise

Went silly mode as you gave it beans

… Basically any Pokémon can be cute under the right circumstances or given the right motivation and there is absolutely nothing that can make me think otherwise. Little guy or perhaps even little fella vibes, just size XXL. I am not biased at all whatsoever in this assessment

[allllium]

Heyaaa, I have a request! If it's not too much trouble, have you listened to too sweet by Hozier.. that song with the tf 141 boys (if it could be Ghost, it would be great!!)

Thanks in advance!!! And it's perfectly fine if you don't wanna!

Too Sweet for Me

~ I'm really sorry this took so long, I have not been feeling great but here it is. I hope you like this because honestly I am terrible at comprehending songs but I think this fits pretty well :)

~ If you're not happy with this for any reason please let me know and I will happily redo it with your advice <3

~ Fluff, WC: 1,189

~ Ghost seems to think you're too sweet for him

You have a crush on Simon Riley. You know this, and so does everyone else, including him. Despite the very obvious adoration on your part he's never said anything about it.

You honestly have no idea how he feels about you and you're not sure you want to know. You do tons of little things for him and he does things for you, but that's all your relationship entails.

You are both so different it's not like you could ever fit together so perfectly, right?

I take my whiskey neat

“Here you are Lt.” You slide him a drink across the table. He makes a face behind his mask that you now recognize as his scowl. “Don't make that face at me.”

“You can't even see my face,” he replies, in his signature thick accent. “And I don't need you buying me drinks.”

“Well that's too bad 'cause’ I did. Don't tell me you're gonna let good whiskey go to waste.”

His deep brown eyes stare at you for a heavy moment before picking up the drink, lifting his mask just enough to show his cut jaw and full lips.

“Usually this is where I get a thank you.” You taunt him, trying not to let your gaze linger on what you can see of his perfect but slightly messed up face.

“Don't push your luck, Sargent.”

My coffee black…

“Oh dark like your soul, ain't that right Lt.” You gesture towards his black mug of black coffee.

Simon takes a deep breath as he takes in your words, his chest rising and falling in annoyance. He shakes his head silently, apparently not wanting to pleasure you with a response.

“Seriously, how do you drink that?” You put your hand on his perfect arm to push him out of the way of the coffee pot.

“Oh let me guess you take your coffee with a pound of sugar.” He rolls his eyes at you, in more of an attitude than you appreciate.

“Incorrect. I'm sweet enough as it is.” You smile at him while you turn around to stir your drink.

“Maybe a little too sweet don't you think?”

“Only to you.” You mutter under your breath.

…And my bed at three

“Oi Lt, what are you doing up at this hour?” You take amusement at the way this giant of a man jumps slightly at your voice.

“Did you just say oi?” He asks as if he didn't just hear you say it.

“Yes I did, do we need to get your hearing checked?” You make fun of him for the hundredth time that day.

“Why?” His gruff voice cuts through the air.

“I want it on record that I don't appreciate this attitude of yours. And I said "oi” because I'm becoming more like you.”

“I don't say oi.”

“I don't believe you. You sound like you say it.” You shrug and take a seat on the couch next to you.

“What does that mean?” He sits down next to you but he seems like he doesn't want a real answer.

“Your voice.”

“What's wrong with my voice?” This time it seems like he actually wants to know what you think.

“Oh nothing. It's a nice voice but it just gives me oi vibes.” He stares at you like you're crazy.

“I have a nice voice do I?”

“Don't let it get to your head.” You lay your head.on his shoulder.

No one speaks for a while but eventually Simon sits up. “It's three in the morning, we should get to bed.”

“Yeah that's probably smart.” You give him a big smile when you stand up. “Goodnight Lt.”

You're too sweet for me

“And here you are.” You take a dramatic bow as you hand Simon his gift, acting as if you just delivered the most important thing in the world.

“What is this?” He asks with a tone of impatientence.

“A gift.”

“It's not a holiday-” You quickly cut him off.

“Or your birthday I know, but I remember you saying something about it and got it for you”

“How do you know it's not my birthday, I've never told you that.” He pauses for a split second before continuing, “Did you look at my files?”

“That's not important, open your gift.” He shakes his head but opens the bag you've given him.

Quickly, he pulls out a mask just like the one he's currently wearing. A mask you've handmade just for him.

“What is this?” He instantly demands.

“That is what we call a mask sir. I remember you told me about that one having an annoying hole so I thought I'd help you out. Originally I was just gonna patch the hole but then I figured that mask has been through a lot so you deserved a new one.”

He loudly clears his throat. “I hope you know there won't be a gift in return.”

“I don't expect one, simply doing a nice thing.”

“Well thank you Sargent.” You smile at his thanks, feeling how much he means it.

“Anytime.” Is the only word you get in before he runs off.

You're too sweet for me

“You know this is basically our third date.” You randomly blurt out. You're sitting with Simon in a coffee shop off base. You don't know what you were expecting with Simon off base but one thing you never thought about when inviting him out is his absence of the mask.

Obviously wearing it would draw more attention than usual but now you're sitting straight across from the face of the man you're practically fawning over.

“This is not a date.” He defends roughly.

“Yes it is, our first was dinner and second was the bar so that makes this the third.”

“Those weren't dates, just outings between friends.” He runs his eyes everywhere but your face.

“Aww so you admit we're friends.” You can't help but tease. “But I'm being serious Simon. You can't deny it forever.”

“Yes I can.” He fiddles with his drink as you continue your mini interrogation.

“No you can't. I know you like me, Lt. Why won't you say it.”

“You're different.” He begins.

“If you start to say I'm dumb you're getting punched.”

“No! Of course not. You're different from me and I don't know if we would work.”

“Bullshit. Spill it.”

“Fine, you're too sweet.” He spits out as if it was fire coming out.

You can't help the bubbling laugh that spills out your mouth. “Too sweet? What does that even mean?” You ask him, still laughing.

“I don't know. You're too sweet to me, you give me things and you say all the right things and I don't think I could give all that back to you.”

‘I don't want you to give me anything back. I want you to give me you, you're too sweet for me too Lt. Even if it is in a different looking way.” You slide your hand across the table to lay on his. He returns your hold and gives you a smile that is uniquely his. This is all you need.

[lurkingshan]

10 Things I Love About 3 Will Be Free

I am very late on this one, I know it! But this week I finally sat down with @wen-kexing-apologist and binged the whole thing, and had a grand ol’ time doing it. @waitmyturtles the verdict is two enthusiastic thumbs up. This was such a fun romp, and here are a few of the things I loved most about it:

SHIN MY BELOVED

Guess who has a new blorbo!! In hindsight it is absolutely absurd that it took a Tay Tawan girlie like me so long to watch this show, because Shin is an instant entry on the all-time fav characters list. I love his sad gay ass. He’s sensitive, he’s lonely, he’s repressed, he’s far too susceptible to Stockholm syndrome, and I would protect him with my life.

Mae

A working class trans character with an actual plot?! Thank you for your endless gifts, P’Jojo. Sure, my girl Mae made some questionable choices (just a little light murder!), but listen, I support her, in the words of @wen-kexing-apologist, embracing her feminine rage. And in the end, she figured out exactly the right target for her rage and lived her best life.

Miw

A Survivor. Gets shit done. Absolutely will kill a man if he forces her hand. Loyal to her boyfriends even when it would probably be smarter to ditch them. Also, she so pretty.

Neo’s tanks and crop tops

I never claimed not to be shallow.

Neo and Shin’s backstory

Episode 5 was my favorite of the show and the moment it really clicked for me. I loved getting a glimpse of Shin’s lonely and dejected teen years (I just wanna talk, Ken 🔪🔪🔪). I loved that the basis of Neo and Shin’s relationship and initial attraction was the way they played together. Shin laughed more in his few days with Neo than he probably had in the several years preceding them. I loved that Neo gave him his first kiss and that Shin treasured those memories so dearly.

The Worst Criminals Of All Time

Truly remarkable these three are still alive by the end of the show. Their ideas were half-baked and their execution was severely lacking. They never had a plan they thought all the way through and they never had a single scheme that went off without a hitch. Luckily, the bad guys chasing them were also thoroughly incompetent, so it all evened out. The only smart person in this show was Miw’s mom, who knew the only prudent move was to stay the hell out of this mess.

Miw and Shin’s friendship

I just love that these two developed their own bond, even though they’re not into each other the same way they’re both into Neo. They both risked their lives to save the other. They tease and joke with each other. Shin literally wanted to bring his new bestie home to live with him. They’re adorable.

This weird little guy

Toptap. My guy. What are you doing here and why are you being so strange? Are you good, are you bad, are you chaotic neutral? Who can tell! Certainly not me. But I enjoyed every moment your weird ass was on the screen.

There's a polyamorous relationship, and it’s depicted onscreen!

Okay, here’s the part where I admit my expectations for the poly romance in this show were a liiiiiiilttle off base. I must gently rib the fandom for leading me to believe this show would have any actual sex in it (or really a focus on romance at all) and once again recite to myself a universal truth: gifs removed from context are so misleading. At the same time, I also must acknowledge how groundbreaking it was at the time to depict polyamory at all. I would have loved a bit more time spent on the actual relationship dynamics and the emotional complexities of this triad they formed, but I recognize that’s not really what this show was about and appreciate they included a polycule in the first place. Now that it’s 2023 and he’s been give a lot more freedom, I look forward to Jojo’s further exploration of sexy polycules in Only Friends.

Against all odds, these crazy kids got their happy ending

When this show started I did not see any way for them to come out of this in good shape. I was going to be happy if they simply survived. But not only did they survive, they are thriving! Shin has inherited his dad’s legitimate business and discovered he looks hot in a deep V. Neo and Miw are living that beach life they deserve. Everyone loves each other and everyone is at peace. A+, 10/10, would watch again.

[beansandsprouts]

Enough

Chapter 4

Dean winchester x fem reader

Chapter 1

Previous chapter

Summary: A case takes you to your hometown where you have the displeasure of running into a very shitty ex boyfriend. Dean doesn't seem to take this too well.

Warnings: cursing, violence, suggestions of domestic violence, suggestions of sexual assault

You were in your room reading a book when Dean knocked on your door and peaked his head in.

"We got a case."

"I'll start packing." You grinned.

You still mostly did cases on your own, but every now and again you and Dean would team up. You enjoyed spending time with him, he was funny and charming, though he could be a tad immature at times. And he was an excellent hunter, you two seemed to read each other's minds, working together seamlessly.

You'd been on the road for half an hour before you asked Dean the details of the case.

"Definitely a werewolf. Three people dead, all missing their hearts."

"Pretty cut and dry. Where exactly are we going?"

"Greer, Arizona."

You felt yourself tense. If you'd known that's where the case was you'd have never agreed to go.

Dean glanced at you, "Whats the deal?"

You bit your lip, it was a small town so there was no way you wouldn't run into people you knew. You could only hope he had moved on.

"That's uh-thats my hometown. So people will recognize me."

"That may make things a little more complicated but we can handle it. You might need a new badge though." He frowned.

"Not to worry, I have one with my real name on it. You never know when you'd need it."

"Smart girl."

You grinned. Dean had gotten more comfortable with you the last few months, hed even started using pet names with you. Itd been a little strange at first, but you didnt mind it. Actually, it seemed they'd all started to accept you as part of the family. It made you feel good, to have people who cared.

The two of you talked for awhile during the drive, you made the mistake of asking about that doctor TV show he loved so much. He went on and on about Dr. Sexy.

Soon enough you'd reached Greer, you looked out the window, familiar sights passing you. The memories were coming back.

Sneaking out into the woods at night with your friends, seeing who'd get scared first. Spending your Friday nights at the diner. You tried to push away the bad memories that kept trying to pop up, but it was hard to forget the things he'd done.

You pulled into the parking lot of one of the local cabin places. The town didn't really have a motel, so you'd have to rent a cabin. Dean approached the man at the front desk and you turned to browse some pamphlets by the front door.

"Checking in?" He asked, offering a smile.

"Ah no, we wanted to ask if there was a cabin we could have for a couple days." Dean answered.

"Oh I'm sorry we don't really do last minute reservations. Maybe try another place?"

You recognized that voice, you turned around.

"Jessie?"

"Holy shit, y/n. Is that really you?"

"Uh yeah. Wow it's been forever."

"No kidding. What? Eight, nine years now?"

"Yeah, how are you?"

"Its been...mixed. Mom's letting me run this place now. But uh, Des, Minnie, and Robin. Well...they were killed."

"Wait the deaths are them? Oh my god. Me and my partner are working that case right now. I had no idea."

"Partner? Case? You a fed now?"

"Yeah. FBI."

"Thats...wild. I knew you'd wind up doing something cool. You weren't suited to staying here in this tiny town."

You smiled, "It's mostly paperwork honestly. But I enjoy it."

"Well it's good to see you. Let me see what I can do for you."

"You're a lifesaver Jay."

"The only one available is a one bedroom. Everything is booked up, you know how it is this time of year."

"That's fine. We'll figure it out. Seriously, thank you."

"No problem. Let me know if I can help with anything. Oh, and Liz is working at the police station now so she'll probably be the one to talk to for the case."

"Sounds good. I'll see you later."

"Sure thing." He said, handing you to the key.

"You know where the Eagle Cabin is right?"

"Yup."

"Good luck then."

"Thanks!"

You and Dean made your way out to the car and back to the cabin, "Guess I'm glad I took you and not one of the others."

You chuckled, "Guess so."

The two of you made your way into the cabin, dropping your things on the kitchen table and then taking out your suits.

"Dibs on the bathroom!" You called behind you as you rushed into the bedroom and then into the bathroom.

"You little minx!" He shouted, but you could hear the grin in his voice.

A few minutes later the two of you were ready to go, on your way to the police station.

"Desmond Jones, Minnie Smith, and Robin Elward. All of them found dead, with their hearts ripped out."

Liz gave you a list of where the crime scenes were, as well as the addresses of the families and of the victims.

You and Dean interviewed the families, as well as Robin's roommate. None of them could really give you anything of use, except for Robin's roommate, Alyssa. She said something about them all falling out with Jessie, but she didn't know why.

"So, you think it's this Jessie guy?" Dean asked.

"I want to say no, he was such a sweet guy when we were younger. Kind and considerate. But being turned changes you, it's entirely possible he's a completely different person now."

You bit your lip, "It's getting late. Why don't we get some food and pick it up in the morning. We can interrogate Jessie and his girlfriend."

"Sounds like a plan."

The two of you returned to your cabin and changed back into your everyday clothes before heading to the diner.

At the diner you were recognized by a few of the staff and other patrons, chatting with them before sitting down at a booth.

"I remember their burgers being pretty good. Their country fried steak ain't too bad either."

"Both sound pretty good. I think I might get-"

"Hey y/n."

The voice made your stomach drop. You looked up, and there he was. Evan. The boyfriend you'd left behind when you'd ditched this town.

"I see you're back. You didn't come see me." His voice was cold, his eyes were blank.

"I uhm-"

"It was pretty bitchy of you to leave like you did."

"My parents had just died-"

"Do I look like I give a shit?"

You swallowed and stared down at your hands in your lap. Suddenly you were back to your 20 year old self, terrified and submissive.

Dean looked between the two of you.

"Who the hell are you?" He asked.

"I could ask you the same question. Are you her new boyfriend? You know she's not worth shit right?"

Dean's jaw clenched, "I think you need to walk away now."

"Or what?" Evan sneered.

Dean stood, getting right up into Evans personal space, "Or I'll take you outside and kick your ass so hard you'll wish you were dead."

Evan stared at him for a second before backing down, he turned to you.

"Watch yourself y/n. Wouldn't want something to happen to you." He hissed.

Once Evan was out the door Dean say back down and looked at you.

"Y/n who the hell was that?"

"My um-he was my boyfriend back when I still lived here."

"What'd he do to you?" His tone was hard.

"Nothing." You answered quickly. Too quickly.

"Bullshit it was nothing. You're shaking and I've never seen you so...scared. You can talk to me sweetheart."

He was right, you were shaking. Your anxiety had risen astronomically since Evan had shown up.

You looked about at Dean, you could see the concern in his eyes as he looked at you. You took a deep breath.

"He um. He got kind of physical when we fought or if I did something wrong. And...and he was um touchy."

"I'll kill him." Dean stood, ready to stalk out the door after Evan. You stood and grabbed his arm.

"No! Don't. Please. It was a long time ago."

"He still did it. And he should be punished."

"Dean." You pleaded, he turned to look at you, "Please."

He frowned, "Fine. But if he shows up again I'm beating his ass."

You sighed in relief as you both sat back down. Soon enough your waitress came by and you ordered.

You were fiddling with your straw wrapper while you waited, carefully avoiding eye contact with the man across from you. You were ashamed and embarrassed. You didn't want him to think of you as weak.

"Hey." Dean cleared his throat.

"I know you can take care of yourself, but if something like that ever happens again you tell me alright? I'll handle it."

You gave him a half-hearted smile and nodded. That seemed to be enough for him as he nodded and sat back in his seat.

When your food came you two were quiet at first, until Dean asked you about that movie you'd tried to get him to watch the other night.

It quickly pulled you out of your funk, telling him about the characters and how well written it was and how much you loved the costumes the actors wore.

Dean was relieved to see you smiling again, to see your eyes lit up. The you he'd seen when Evan approached you was a you he never wanted to see again.

----------

If you want to be tagged when I update let me know!

@ladysparkles78

[youngerfrankenstein]

hello can you introduce us to some of your ocs 👀

THANK YOU!!!

For the most part all my OC’s are from a specific story or story idea but unfortunately(? Maybe just how it is) the main two who live in my head rent free have had their story become more and more nebulous over time (still have a supporting cast though lol) Perhaps someday I will iron things out so they can pay for their stay, but also I just like having them around as imaginary friends.

Jules!

Juliet, but only her dad really calls her Juliet anymore. Mother was a Shakespeare scholar, passed away when she was four, hit her dad really hard. Cheery, energetic, friendly to just about anyone. And it’s only slightly forced at this point! Became a Shakespeare nerd herself and is actually a bit snippy about it. Can speak at least English, Spanish and Irish Gaelic (probably also French?) Has a tendency to not swear in English as to not get caught. Curious and enthusiastic perhaps beyond the point that’s good for her. And perhaps overly optimistic, though that’s largely a choice. A lot less blind to things than people tend to assume. Also a shorter temper. (And I have at this point made the executive decision she’s a big G1 Transformers fan because weirdly it suited her well? Helped her feel less awful about being called a robot due to being very unemotive until age like. 10 or 11. At which point she chose violence for a year or two. Followed by actively deciding the kind of person she would become.) She’s also just generally quite smart, though she also tends to miss the details. And also play up the goofier side of her personality to keep people a little less on-guard.

Sebastian!

Very, very angry teen when he and Jules met. And he was a grouch and a half to her. Basically an angry boy with a crush he had no idea what to do with. But weird shit happened and they became friends. Tends at least early on to lash out and just insult people. He keeps insulting people he just becomes a lot more clever and witty about it. It’s basically part defense mechanism, part a want to see how people react to different things and part he just finds it funny. Voice of an angel. Pianist and kind of a music nerd, taught himself on an electronic keyboard he fished out of the trash and from what theory books he could find at the library. Actually really good at reading people and could be the most charming man you’ve ever met if he didn’t have more fun being mean. That said he’s really not a bad guy and over time becomes a little more willing to be selfless and even hopeful, though he does tend to think the worst of people (he had a really shitty mom). He also becomes way more comfortable in his own skin. Honestly happy Jules never recognized his crush as they are way closer now than they would have been if she had.

(I, kind of have this thing about him where his absolute most hated thing in the world is an untuned grand piano. Since it means the person has the cash to buy one but no love for music or even respect for their own possessions, they just want a status symbol.)

Often they just hang out in my head. Sometimes with random other fictional characters lol. This feels like a dull way to put them but… they mean a lot to me okay? Almost as much as they mean to each other.

[marley-manson]

gotta rant at least a little after watching those videos on james somerton lol

the thing that really gets me about somerton after watching both hbomberguy and todd in the shadows' videos, is that he had millions of views somehow??? tons of subscribers and patreon supporters? people respected him as an educator and expert on queer history?

idk i've seen posts that are like, 'oh the point is that plagiarism is insidious and rampant and you have to be vigilant' and like, sure, i'm sure youtube is full of plagiarism and bullshit and there are probably plenty of people who are better at hiding it, but for the record one quick and easy way to cut a big chunk of it out of your viewing experience is to like, simply not watch people who present themselves as important sources of information and eminently qualified to educate, and yet have no credentials and cite no sources as they state "facts." Not to mention the absolute statements, blatant appeals to emotion, and obviously biased opinions presented as fact.

like way too many people apparently watched him say that eg fitness became an obsession in america because americans were (homoerotically) jealous of nazis and didn't go 'uh wait what the fuck?' like, you don't need a solid basis of knowledge on the history of fitness to recognize that that's a bizarre claim.

I get maybe watching one or two of his videos and shrugging and taking his knowledge as fact I guess because you don't care enough to consider it, or respecting him without watching his videos and just assuming he knows his shit because others say so, but the idea of regularly watching him and being a fan is genuinely p baffling to me.

i've seen a lot of comments on those videos that were along the lines of 'wow i occasionally got bad/confusing vibes from somerton but i ignored that and watched anyway because he seemed smart, thanks for revealing all this' and like, oof. schools need to be teaching critical thinking skills man.

the other thing that floors me is how many viewers he had considering he has the most annoying speaking cadence i've ever heard lol, both when he's awkwardly stumbling over plagiarized paragraphs he didn't write and that weren't written to be read outloud, and when he's very smugly and overdramatically making shit up. iirc I watched part of one video of his ever (queer horror i think) and quit in like 5 minutes because I couldn't stand how he spoke. I might have different standards than many others, I'm sure there are people who can't stand the youtubers I watch, but I truly can't comprehend how millions of people sat through his videos. That Illuminaughty account too tbh, awful, awful presentation even without the plagiarism.

Idk, I hope people who were fans of his take this as a lesson for what red flags to watch out for in the future, at least.

[sophieswundergarten]

Uhhh respectfully with regards to your post complaining about how Susan is said to be bad at school, please be aware that you basically saying that Susan being bad at school = they say Susan is stupid. There are LOTS of reasons why very intelligent people are bad at school. Including but not limited to learning disabilities like dyslexia, neurodivergencies like ADHD, PTSD, etc. It's ableist to equate "bad at school" to "stupid" so please just be aware of that for the future! Thanks so much! I really loved everything in that post of yours except that one thing that made me kind of uncomfortable and I thought you probably didn't know so thought I should let you know.

Thank you for your concern, Anon! I really appreciate how politely you worded this instead of outright yelling at me.

The irony of this situation is that my sibling and I actually have struggled with school over the years due to various neurodivergences/disabilities like dyslexia, dyscalculia, and OCD tendencies. And I am incredibly insecure about this!! Because I am very new to actually being a part of a community where I can talk about this stuff, and I have worked really hard to hide all of those things my whole life.

I almost went in another direction with the post, and suggested different things Susan may have struggled with, because I wholeheartedly believe she was NOT stupid. But my own anxiety took command there.

My initial idea was that the teachers and adults who were observing her from the outside wouldn't have recognized the reasons she was "no good at school". Either because they didn't have the context of what happened in Narnia, because she worked hard at hiding it because she felt the pressure to be a "good girl", or just because in that timeframe people didn't know about as much about learning disabilities!

Because the idea behind that post was about how the people in England/"our world" misunderstood Susan, and how she had to decide between playing the part people expected of her (Which may have included being pretty over smart) and choosing to be herself.

But, as I said, I chickened out and kind of skimmed over the topic. I didn't mean to imply anything, and I'm sorry for how that may have come off.

Thank you for pointing that out to me, because I hadn't realized how my own nervousness about speaking to something I deal with can come off as ableist or insensitive. The line between being honest and objective and sounding like I'm complaining or begging for attention is something I am incredibly wary of, and I don't have a lot of experience with conducting myself correctly around this topic.

Once again, I really appreciate how kindly you mentioned this and explained it to me. I will work to be aware of this and be more careful in the future.

[rubykgrant]

Sorry this is vague, but I had a WEIRD afternoon... I came across a bad interaction I had with somebody from years ago while looking for a different post. They had been really rude and antagonistic, so at the time, I decided to just avoid them, never saw anything with them or thought about them again. Finding that post made me wonder what happened with them, and after a brief glance at their blog, I saw that they were not doing well, having a really hard time with personal problems.

It made me think to myself- people can be really hurtful and not care about what that does to others. They can also have a lot of their own problems, because life is complicated. I didn't want to be all "oh I forgive you" or sound like "let me tell you what to do with your life", but I figured I'd try to offer something nice or motivational, a message of "keep trying to be a better person". I've had to deal with depression and self-loathing, and I've also had to deal with other people treating me with cruelty. I still need to live with myself and try to be better, too. This person's life is none of my business, but I could spare a few kind words...

The thing is, after that I saw a little more about them, and the MASSIVE amount of that same rudeness and antagonistic attitude was so intense. So many people who didn't deserve it were mocked and insulted, it went on for years before I interacted with them, and it kept happening after. I guess I was so good at ignoring them, I literally never noticed it anywhere. I never knew how much this was going on. They invested a LOT of effort into putting other people down. The other thing was, just taking a glance through the blog, how often I saw this person get very close to recognizing how hurtful they were being; how much they hurt other people for no reason, how much they hurt their friends without realizing it until it happened, and how much that was all hurting themselves. They still didn't stop, though. They have spent so much of their life dedicated to, simply put, being mean. Over and over again, more than a decade of trying to hurt people and then laughing at them. (this also gave me look into parts of online social circles I have not had to deal with in a WHILE, the kinds of people who think racism and homophobia are OK as long as you do it in a "clever satirical" way, and and anybody who thinks differently is a "stupid SJW")

I am definitely not going to get all invested with the drama surrounding this person, it is a lot and I've been happy not being part of it. I'm also not going to dig up dirt about them, or have some weird parasocial connection, or anything like that. I'm not going to insert myself in their life, like somebody who will "show them the errors of their ways" (I don't have a savior complex), and I'm not going to go on crusade where I prove them wrong (though I have to say, just a few minutes going through their blog genuinely upsetting). I'm not going to coddle somebody unpleasant, especially if they refuse to see how hurtful they are.

If I had looked at them more, I probably wouldn't have sent a message at all, but I still keep thinking about how easy it is to hurt somebody and then not care about it. Without sounding preachy about... sometimes you have to try to care enough about yourself and other people to finally recognize when you've been doing something WRONG. It is embarrassing and frustrating to admit that, especially when you've made it your mission to fight so hard against everybody because you thought THEY were wrong.

I really wish this person had never been so rude and antagonistic to anybody, I can't even imagine how many people have been hurt by some "jokes" that get treated as "correct ideas". Like, this is some genuinely hateful stuff that spreads different forms of bigotry like it "makes sense" if you're smart enough to understand it. How many people had to hear this stuff as insults in the real world and online? How many people saw this and repeated it? You can't be responsible for how everybody feels, but you can make the choice to NOT intentionally hurt people.

I guess I'm just overwhelmed, because a random "Oh, this person was mean to me one time, I guess they're having a bad time, I'll try to say something nice as a way to move on" turned into "OH this person hurt a LOT of people, and is STILL behaving like that". I got a little emotional thinking about what it means to hurt somebody and not care, and then whiplash from seeing so much intentional, mean-spirited actions. I truly hope every person they ever insulted is living a life where they are comfortable and happy. Even though I'm so appalled by this person's behavior, I also hope they can really take the steps to being a better person... for the sake of yourself, and everybody in your life, it is worth making that kind of change.

[asukamood]

Birthday mess (Sweammare)

Happy birthday to Dream and Nightmare! If my memory serves me right, they should be 125 this year-

So here’s a little one-shot to celebrate that and well, I hope you guys will like it!

The continuation

***

Warnings: Alcohol use and kissing, like, a lot of kissing.

Synopsis: The villagers organized a party to celebrate Dream and Nightmare’s birthday who both just turned 18. Liquor is in the party and both get slightly tipsy…

***

The 21st of December was a well-known date in the village of Dreamtale. Despite being a few days after Christmas, everyone knew what event was to be celebrated.

It was Dream and Nightmare’s birthday, even though they all only memorized the Dream part.

This year, they would turn 18 and the villagers had convinced dragged Dream to try on alcohol. Nightmare had followed them to the surprise party to make sure none of them would try anything fishy such as drugging and sequestering him somewhere or something like that.

You may think that he’s being overly dramatic and paranoid but he didn’t trust the villagers as he knew what kind of manipulative and selfish jerks they were. Dream could barely stand them either but he, contrary to his childhood friend, was able to at least act civilized around them which made them think that he liked them.

As he followed the group, lurking in the shadows, he recognized the girl who had confessed to Dream not so long ago in the mass. His eyes narrowed, he was even less trusting now.

She had gotten rejected immediately right away and, as if it wasn’t bad enough, Nightmare had snuck into her house in the dead of night to make sure she wouldn’t try to pull that again.

He has known Dream for far longer and so, he deserved the right to confess first. He had tried, a couple of times actually but unfortunately for him, this man was denser than a rock so any sign he gave him was lost in translation and Dream never got the hint.

He swore under his breath that he was going to keep a close eye on these people.

***

A few hours in and Dream was completely wasted, babbling nonsense under his breath that most people wouldn’t be able to decipher as smart as they were.

Against all odds, he was finally left alone by the villagers who dumped him to go dancing instead.

As for Nightmare, he was still watching him quietly. The only problem was, he was completely and utterly intoxicated too.

Now you may wonder how that happened, it’s pretty simple actually. He was keeping an eye on the group as he had planned to and since he was sitting at the bar, he got curious and decided to try out the forbidden beverage that was alcohol.

Little did he know that his alcohol tolerance was about as good as he was tall.

It did not help that he gulped it all down like a soda instead of taking little sips like you were supposed to so here he was, completely drunk.

He took in quietly Dream’s unusually slumped figure on the counter before he noticed a person standing not too far from him, seemingly debating whether or not they should go talk to him.

For some reason, that pissed him off to no end. For all he knew, that person may just want to tell him to go home lest unnecessary trouble comes his way but Nightmare, who really couldn’t think right, saw that as a threat.

That’s when a terrible idea appeared in his head. Sober, Nightmare was already very impulsive and could hardly control himself but drunk? He was ten times worse.

Without thinking about it twice, he stomped toward his best friend who had already stood up, most probably aiming to go look for the other.

He had started walking away but before he could take another step, he felt someone grab him by the wrist. He frowned and turned around, only to meet familiar violet irises.

“Nightmare—“ Before he got the chance to say anything else, Nightmare pushed him up against the counter, his lower back hitting the wooden material so harshly he gasped.

His shock was further amplified by feeling the other’s lips crash on his own, his hands gripping the counter on either side of his body, successfully trapping him there.

He didn’t know why exactly but he kissed back, pulling him closer. The bartender behind them had the face someone would show when noticing their parents talking to their teacher at the mall. They were thinking that they were not paid enough for dealing with this mess every time someone would get drunk.

Luckily for them though, Dream and Nightmare decided that the tavern was too crowded for their liking and left their birthday party without looking back.

***

The second they got back, their lips met again, this time more tenderly than the last time.

They were probably on their 10th kiss when Dream pulled back, pushing Nightmare slightly away. “Night, wait.”

He looked disappointed but didn’t try to force it. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just-“ A sigh. “We should stop.”

Nightmare opened his mouth to say something but before he could even ask what he was referring to, Dream spoke again.

“If anything’s gonna happen between us, I want to be sober for it.”

Nightmare vaguely wondered if he should take an appointment to know if his heart skipping a beat is normal.

***

The next day, a groan escaped from inside the mess of limbs that was tucked in the sheets. That deep voice belonged to none other than the purple gremlin, I mean, Nightmare.

It was just after dawn when the sunlight would just start to seep through the curtains and illuminate the dark room. When some rays managed to get in his eyes, he let out yet another exasperated grumble as he pushed deeper into the soft tissue underneath him.

It’s only when said tissue whined that he realized that it was not, in fact, a pillow. His previously half-lidded eyes snapped open as he jumped to the left, a horrible headache making him regret that decision almost instantly.

Holy fuck. Had he been holding onto Dream like that the entire night?? You’ll tell him that it was not the first time that this happened, and you’ll be right. They were stuck to each other’s hips when they were kids but now, it was… different.

Because the only thing he remembers from last night was seeing Dream get drunk before he did too like an idiot and who knows what could the drunk them do.

As Dream rolled to his side in an attempt to get some more sleep, he held his head with one hand and thought extremely hard about what the heck happened last night.

His eyes furrowed in concentration and the harder he tried to remember, the more painful his headache was. He pushed on anyway and eventually, he did manage to remember a fragment of his drunken state.

He saw himself pinning Dream down to the bar counter, his cheeks tinted red with blush. That got him to choke on his spit, and he choked even harder when the memory of them making out back at home seeped through.

His cheeks were flared up and he probably looked so dumb right now. Suddenly, what Dream said the previous night echoed inside his head.

“If anything’s going to happen between us, I want to be sober for it.”

His hand found its way to his mouth. Was he overthinking it? Did that mean anything special?

A groan from next to him snapped him out of his trance. He turned around so quickly that he swore he heard something crack.

He watched as Dream slowly rose, his dark hair messily sticking to his forehead. He rubbed his eyes in an attempt to wake himself up, much like how Nightmare did a few minutes prior, wishing said one a good morning.

“Hey.” He greeted back, trying not to let him see his flustered expression. “You okay?”

A sigh left the other who fell back into bed. “No, my head is ringing and I’m pretty sure I’m going to throw up.”

“Felt.” A pause. “Hey uh, Dream?”

The other’s eyes focused on him. “Yeah?”

“Do you remember anything from last night?” Nightmare still didn’t dare look Dream in the eye and instead focused on how his fingers fiddled with one another in anticipation. He held his breath and the time the other used to start answering felt like an eternity.

“Last time?” Dream frowned, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked up at the ceiling. “I don’t think so… Why? Did something happen?”

Truth be told, Nightmare was disappointed by that answer. His shoulder shrunk as he let out a small sigh. “No, I’m just asking because I don’t remember either.”

“Oh alright, I’m sorry for not being able to help more.” Nightmare brushed it off with the back of his hand as he stood up.

“Don’t be, it’s the alcohol’s fault anyways.” Jesus, hangovers don’t feel nice. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom, see you later.” He stepped out of the room without looking back, missing how Dream’s face had become completely red.

Oh what a filthy liar Dream was.

[paramorearchived]

June 27, 2007

Transcript:

redemption. it's a long story.

re-demp-tion |riˈdemp sh ən| noun 1. the action of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil : God's plans for the redemption of his world.

there is something that has been on my mind for a while, now, pertaining the song, "Misery Business". i haven't really known what to say about it or how to say it... but honestly, after talking to the guys about it, we feel like what's important is that we try. (whether it sounds "cool" or not). it might get a little personal but here goes nothing.

(in a week or so, i'm going to take this next paragraph down... so read up while you can, if you like details).

"Misery Business", like we've explained before in interviews - and even in past LJ posts - is a true story. the song was written at a time in my life that i felt very bitter towards a girl, who i still haven't forgiven, for a lot of things that she did a few years ago. until this person came into mine and my friend's lives, i had no idea what power someone could have over another. i watched her use sex to manipulate one of my friends, in particular, to the point that none of us - in our little circle of friends - recognized him. he went from being someone so innocent and joyful to becoming someone who was shut off from everything. needless to say, it hurt. not only because he was a close friend but because i felt that i was in love with him. (i know, you can't be in love when you're this young.. right? whatever). either way... the pain that i felt, i decided to hold inside. i thought that if people knew how hurt, angry and bitter i'd become, they'd think i was a bad - or worse, a weak - person because of it. (now, to keep this from getting any longer or any more personal, i'll finish this part of the story by saying... he eventually decided that the relationship had nothing to do with love and after that discovered that our friendship was becoming something different. we sorta fought it for a while because we figured it wasn't smart to start dating so young, especially after what all had happened, but fighting it just made it harder and the next thing i knew, we were an item. (no one uses that term anymore, really...)

i can remember exactly where i was and what everything looked like around me when i was writing the lyrics. i forced myself to relive some of the very vivid memories that i have of the times he dated her. i don't think anyone can understand how awkwardly dark those times were at such a young age. but i do. to finally explain my side of the story and feel freed of it all... well, i was so angry and so happy at the same time. every word i wrote was like a thousand weights lifted off my shoulders. no more burden. what i didn't realize, as i wrote some of those lines, was that while i was escaping one burden, i was also giving myself another.

"but god does it feel so good... to steal it all away from you now. and if you could then you know you would. cause god it just feels so... it just feels so good."

i'm ashamed to say that, although i'm a believer in Jesus Christ and i claim him as my God, when i wrote those lyrics i wasn't addressing him. i was using his name casually. in vain, to be blunt. if you know much about the Christian religion (which i'm not too fond of addressing my faith as), you'll probably know that one of the ten commandments is "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord your God in vain"... it goes on to say, "...for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain." As a believer in Christ, that last part scares the hell out of me. i don't want to be held accountable for being the cause of so many people using his name in vain. you don't have to believe in what i believe and no one in Paramore is ever going to go around forcing our faith into people's lives... but believer or not, i might have led some of ya'll to believe that i take my saviour lightly. and i don't.

God brought me through everything that i say in "Misery Business". i believe that i am a stronger person because those things happened in my life. through that situation, i learned so much. when i sing that song now, i'm not the same person i was when i wrote it. when i sing those lines that i used to sing in vain, i mean them in a different way. i don't want to opportunity to be held responsible for causing a lot of people to use my God's name in vain. so, whether or you not you believe in Christ. whether or not you care if it means something when you say God. just know that as for me, when I am singing those lines, i'm telling God that it feels good to stand up for myself and be victorious after long months of confusion and pain. i don't hurt the same way anymore.

sorry this was so long winded. i know we don't usually speak out about our faith. mostly, because our faith is personal to us. but i really felt like i needed to say something, before it was too late. thanks for reading. the guys aren't responsible for whatever mess this post could possibly get us into, hayley

[rubyroboticalt]

https://www.tumblr.com/rubyroboticalt/727267145704259584/the-current-final-page-i-dont-really-have-any?source=share

I NEED MORE OF THIS??? PLEASE tell me about this au omg

OH BABY I WAS SAVING THIS FOR WHEN I HAD THE BRIAN FOR IT! including bolding and italics for easier reading on my part

i am SO fond of my witch in the well au. the connection was between witch!lying and witchcraft smp being, well, witches. the basic concept was one of the witchcrafters accidentally summons/awakens an old power, which freed lying from the well. originally it was actually going to be scott who freed them, by trying and failing to contact an ancient power, but then joey literally fell into a well. and that was just too poetic to ignore. i think lying was going to be a fear witch specifically.

>i dont have significant plot beyond the comic, which is why it's ended (tentative, if i get ideas i may continue), but i and some friends did have ideas for interactions beyond it. if it had continued, joey was going to make some deals with the witch for more power. to quote my own discord msgs on it, "maybe he does want to be the supreme witch, but is it worth this? lying makes him uneasy. he can't help but feel he's in danger, whenever he's around them. like there's something off" (mar 2023). so joey ends up in an uneasy sort of alliance, in part because after he escaped the well by digging/building out (not bound by the magic lying was, free to move and craft as he pleases), they look very much like a wet cat.

>cleo would recognize that dealing with the fear witch is a bad idea, but also treats them more as a nuisance than a threat until given evidence to the contrary. she also antagonizes them a little, because cleo in witchcraft (and in general) refuses to be intimidated even when given good reason, and the witch is all about intimidating people.

something something slapfight between the fear witch trying to intimidate and cleo's refusal to be scared. cleo doesn't tend to overestimate themself, so how well that slapfight goes for her depends on if she realizes it won't go well for her and plays cautious or if she leans in to the slapfight and sees what lying is capable of. if it's the latter, they probably get taken out of commission long enough to preserve the critical mistake moment for others. lying, to cleo, seems a little like a jokey thing and there's a significant chance she underestimates them.

part of what makes cleo and lying's interaction/slapfight so interesting is both of them spec'd into defense and retaliation instead of offense, meaning there's a tense waiting period to see who strikes first. there might be social tension because witch!cleo and lying the witch are similar, but cleo has friendly allies and lying has only the hesitant alliance with joey. that could be dug into and inspected closely for good plot points.

another angle that was discussed was cleo, being the time witch, may have met other lyings/at least be aware of them, giving her a reason to be wary. if she has, then she probably plays cautious, and during the crux of the intimidation slapfight she makes an escape. she honestly may have been friends with other lyings in other timelines!

and, tbh, from what ive seen and heard of lyings in general, they are mostly posturing and intimidation. witch!lying has gotten their ass kicked both times ive seen an actual fight (priest!lying, maid!lying, for example). they have a lot of defensive power but there's not much to back up that posturing. in contrast, cleo is closer to 70% posturing, but has power to back that up. the witch is scary and smart, but cleo is on a server with a bunch of maniacs who kill each other for fun (civil war, house war, demise, turf war, whatever the hell season 8 was, tag, decked out 1 & 2, demise 2, etc) where the witch was on a server where folks killed in self defense or to settle scores. this means the way they approach conflict differs!

>cupquake keeps her distance because the trees give her a quick psa to Stay Away From That Thang, depicted in the comic as the trees becoming more storybook horror gnarled branches the closer cupquake got. another funny quote from the outline for the comic "for once it is the trees who speak for the lorax" (mar 2023). iirc i may have written stuff in the branches but idr? ik i wrote things in the fog but the fog was specifically lying luring ppl in to free them. cupquake nopes out and plays avoidance hardcore, bc what i recall from watching her as a kid is while she has a lot of magic power once she gets into the midgame of botania, she's also very easy to startle/scare.

>an interesting point brought up is the ravens, tameable ravens from the modpack! el had a conversation with one in her first episode and shelby tamed one. the witch can see through ravens' eyes iirc. el thinks they're crows but based on how they're tamed they're bewitchment ravens. i didnt go too deep into this one for the comic but theres potential there.

>i never fleshed out the end of the story/plot regarding the supreme witch but i imagine the goal is getting the witch back to their home server or something. maybe they partake in the competition to be supreme witch, maybe they dont. honestly feel free to riff off of what i have written! witch in the well was made collaboratively and id love to see how other folks play in the universe!

[dismalzelenka]

Someone commented on Freefall today to ask if Miri's class was bard, and it really got me thinking about how different her life would have been in her canon timeline if the people in her life recognized the skills that came naturally to her instead of forcing her into the Taveric family legacy. She spent so much of her life in the shadow of her sister who is seven years younger than her and inherited their father's gift for wizardry. Her older brother is following in their father's footsteps as an artificer to eventually take over the family business. But Miriam? Her grandmother is from a nomadic tribe in the Anauroch that migrated south several generations back and currently reside near the Alamir mountains in eastern Calimshan. Magic runs in their blood too, and it's raw and unfiltered and, most of all, taught in a very, very different manner from the structure of the life she was given. And out of the three Taveric kids, she's the one who inherited her grandmother's artistry and wanderlust and desire to create for the sake of creating.

The problem is, that trait skipped a generation, and she spends her youth relatively shut away from her heritage because her mother ran away from her culture and never looked back. And the irony is she may have made a pretty fine artificer if she'd just been allowed to learn via the fuck around and find out method, but her introduction to the Weave was steeped in theoretical magic and memorization, and she just doesn't grasp it because she isn't wired that way.

So she grows up thinking she's broken. That maybe the powers her family members wield so easily just passed her by, and she's never given an alternative to her future.

Now, a big part of her later arc deals with the fact that she does have sorcery in her blood, and after she gets involved with her pact and starts exploring magic more freely, she begins to learn how to use that power. But at that point she doesn't know it comes from within, because the idea that she does have it in her is so foreign to her at this point that she doesn't even consider it within the realm of possibility. So even when she does develop those skills, she's convinced they're tied to her patron, and ofc her patron goes ahead and lets her think she's nothing without the power he grants her, because he's got a vested interest in her feeding his power in return with every kill she racks up.

But what if she's been allowed to indulge her instincts growing up? If her magic had been encouraged in the way she needed, or even if she'd been allowed a bardic pursuit early on? If someone would have told her it's okay to be undisciplined and wild sometimes, it's okay to be distracted by the color of the sky or the sound of rain hitting the paving stones? To tug at the magic that feels right instead of constantly inscribing spells that never seem to stick in a spell book she's constantly misplacing anyway? Bard or sorcerer would have been the natural choice, and if she'd been allowed that she probably would have been seen as an equal to her sister instead of held up as a cautionary tale. Instead, she runs away from her responsibilities, falls in with a dangerous crowd, and makes choices that are objectively bad but also narratively consistent to the idea that everything she does is fueled by a need to prove to herself she's better than what people have told her she is.

Anyway in the end I feel like she and Gale getting involved is a bit like lighting a match next to a puddle of gasoline. Suddenly he's got someone validating everything he's been second guessing. She's got someone who's encouraging her deranged ideas because what's discovery without a little risk? They have broken the brake pedal off of the clown car and are passionately making out on top of the accelerator. Nobody is holding their leash; in fact, it's lying shredded in a ditch as we speak. They're going to Do Things and they aren't going to necessarily be Smart Things but by the gods they're gonna be the Most Characters of all time or die trying.

[snake-snacc]

↪ Found you on the internet

↪ Pairing — Chifuyu Matsuno x Kazutora Hanemiya ↪ Warnings — swears/bad words, Kazutora being a horny dick, Chifuyu being way to nice ↪ Notes — Inspired by the song "Found you on the internet" by HAVEN. I´ve been listening to this song since weeks and I couldn´t get the thought out of my head, that this is a Kazutora thing. So I used little Fuyu to suffer for my enjoyment

Even after hours of deliberation, Chifuyu's fingers hung unsteadily over the keyboard. Should he really take the first step and text a complete stranger? He had to make the first move if he wanted them to eventually meet! And at least he hadn't signed up for nothing. He wanted something like broadening his horizons and getting over people who obviously already had someone in their lives. But maybe putting that exact same description in his profile wasn't that smart. It sounded desperate and that was really the last thing he wanted, but apparently it had worked. At least someone had expressed interest to him. Only by giving the profile a like, but it was something! Also, Chifuyu's minute-long profile stalking of the apparently interested person would have been in vain if he didn't text the person! After all, the guy himself seemed desperate or rather looking for revenge when the blonde thought of the sentence "Since my boyfriend apparently confused being in a reformatory with breaking up and got a stupid bitch, I'm apparently single" . Chifuyu wasn't looking for anything solid. He was just looking for a distraction from the guy who lived in the same house with him. 

Also, he didn't find the part about the reformatory as repulsive as he might have done. It probably came from his own rebellious days or the thought that certain black haired guys might get there too. Another plus was that the stranger didn't seem to live that far away either, so the chance to meet was there.

It took another 27 minutes until Chifuyu finally used the keyboard and wrote a first message. 

"Hello Hanemiya-san..."

That was a good three weeks ago and Chifuyu was very proud of himself that from then on he wrote to the guy almost every day. They talked a lot about hobbies or what the other was doing or wanted to do in the future. The blond quickly found out that the other had a very interesting sense of humor, mostly obscene or sexual, at times very sinister. That he got very upset and was extremely direct and honest. It wasn't uncommon for Chifuyu to read messages like "You're annoying me" or "I'm jerking off for a moment". It definitely took some getting used to, but Chifuyu didn't mind getting used to it. 

Once they'd even managed to talk on the phone for a few minutes and he vividly remembered how cold he'd gotten while waiting for someone to answer. How each beep had made him more and more nervous. And Chifuyu remembered perfectly how everything had slipped into his pants at the first sound of the new voice. He hadn't imagined it to be so soft and melodious, rather a bit higher and in the midst of it´s voice breaking. At least that's the impression Hanemiya conveyed via text.

Chifuyu stood in front of a small snack bar with his phone in his hands nervously and waited there. Even still somewhat in disbelief that he was really meeting the new acquaintance. When asked how Chifuyu was supposed to recognize him, he only got a "You will” . 

His turquoise eyes searched up and down the street. Again and again, looking for someone who would catch his eye. Someone who might also be looking for someone or waiting alone in front of the snack bar. 

There were often moments when Chifuyu thought he'd finally found him, but it always turned out to be nil. 

His shoulders were already slightly slouched, he looked back at his cell phone, checked if he had a new message, but there wasn't any. Slowly he began to toy with the idea of ​​being pawned. Hanemiya himself had given a very interested impression. But maybe the fact that Chifuyu didn't even know his first name wasn't a forgotten question, but a tactical way of not letting him get closer. With a sigh, he tucked his cell phone back into his jacket pocket and put his hands also in to it. He had already been waiting for 40 minutes, so he might as well just leave. His gaze wandered to the ground for a moment and a smile formed on his lips. What had he expected from a sometimes strange guy like Hanemiya.

"Excuse me," he heard, the blond raised his head and was literally killed by the golden eyes that were far too close. He took a step back, frowned slightly, and spoke up.

"Yes?"

"I'm looking for a guy, hopefully handsome. I think he was blond and the name was something with Fuyu, but it could also be something completely different.” The person addressed needed a few seconds to combine the somehow familiar voice with what was being said. Then it clicked.

“C-Chifuyu! Chifuyu is my name,” he then got out. Internally very relieved that the other hadn't stood him up and he didn't have to text him. Chifuyu's eyes wandered over the guy in front of him. His oversized shirt, the loose, slightly torn dark jeans, the obviously oversized jacket and the tattoo. Chifuyu's eyes lingered on the tiger tattoo for a long time and the blonde couldn't deny that it was really attractive. Only then did he look, hopefully, Hanemiya in the face. The big eyes, the pale skin, the birthmark, the wildly colored hair made a look. A look that Chifuyu really liked. In addition, he had a pretty face and the gentle smile on his lips made the blonde smile too.

"I said something with Fuyu," were the next words, which were still spoken with that gentle smile and afterwards the blonde wished that his counterpart had been quiet afterwards.

"You're really pretty, but you can get prettier. Something about your face bothers me, it seems so… punchable”, the taller one continued and the smile remained on his lips. Even got a little wider, like he'd just made the other a compliment or something.

"Thanks...?" Chifuyu asked, very confused and before he could say anything else, the other walked past him, gave him a wink and grabbed his hand. Still confused, Chifuyu just let himself be dragged along. He would ask later, if ever. Maybe he didn't even wanted to know if the statement had a deeper meaning.

"Hanemiya, right?"

"Kazutora is enough~"

The two sat down at one of the free tables, hung their jackets over the backs of the chairs and ordered something to drink until they agreed on the food. Chifuyu ordered an iced tea, even though he had momentarily hesitated over a hot chocolate. Kazutora, on the other hand, ordered an iced coffee with 8 sugar cubes in it. The blonde smiled at that, hadn't thought of the other as someone who liked to drink sweet things.

While waiting, they didn't speak much, although Chifuyu had several questions.

“Why were you late?” was one of them and an important one for him. He knew he was usually there a little earlier than necessary, but better that than being 40 minutes late.

"Oh," Kazutora began, leaning on the table, resting his head in his palm. With an almost innocent smile he looked into Chifuyu's eyes and he even seemed lulled by the gentle gaze. In fact, he was almost certain that he would soon get a reasonable explanation and he could wave it off with a smile.

"I wanted to see if you were waiting for me. If I am interesting enough for you~”, Kazutora purred and suppressed a smile at the blonde's expression, which wasn't enthusiastic. Really not enthusiastic, after all, Chifuyu had just expected to get a proper explanation. But somewhere, deep inside the blond, he found the statement charming again. Not good but charming.

"Joke. I wanted to sleep for another hour, but then my mom came in and woke me up. So I got up, read your message, whether my train was late, and then I quickly went to the gas station for cigarettes. If I'm late, 10 minutes more won't make a difference now either.” 

Chifuyu's expression didn't get any more enthusiastic. He questioned all his decisions at that moment. He couldn't even be sure if Kazutora was making a bad joke or if he was being completely serious. Both were possibilities, and he didn't like either of them. The just charming impression was gone immediately. Left a trail of "Why am I sitting here?". 

"I was about to leave when you came," he said dryly and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms and letting the other know he was angry with his eyes. At least an apology or a simple sorry would have been expected. Kazutora, on the other hand, just raised an eyebrow, sat back down normally and shrugged. As if it was Chifuyu's loss, if he would have left. The taller of the two didn't seem to care that the blonde was angry, just as he let his eyes wander through the room and now and then had a smile on his lips. In the end, his golden earthen hung on more important things: the waitress's ass. 

Only when Kazutora noticed in the corner of his eye that Chifuyu was about to get up did he turn his attention back to the blonde. He grabbed his wrist, leaning far over the table and looking up at it from below. A loving smile on his face like he hadn't done anything wrong or like Chifuyu was the only thing he would lay his eyes on. For a fraction, Chifuyu also felt like he was the focus of the meeting, but that was really just because of the well-acted look.

"Hey, stay. I'll pay as compensation too, okay? Sit back down, okay? I was so happy to finally get to know you properly Chifuyu” And Chifuyu sat down again. Hated himself for how much he loved the sound of his name coming out of Kazutora's mouth. Hated himself for how the other's soft voice and very likely not 100% true words made him faint for a moment. He kept the wall up for a moment and gave his opponent the cold shoulder before giving up with a sigh and returning the smile he was given. Maybe it would still be good. At least the blonde really hoped so.

They started talking and both couldn't deny that seeing each other made them smile. Chifuyu talked about his wild school days and how often his mother cursed him for it. He laughed again and again, a little embarrassed. Kazutora initially talked about his time in the reformatory without context as to why he was there. At some point, the topic swayed to "How shitty my ex is". A name was never mentioned, however, words such as son of a bitch, wanker or cock sucker were very often used. After some of the stories, Chifuyu didn't know anymore whether he should feel sorry for Kazutora since he really seemed to have problems, or whether he should feel sorry for his ex. He couldn't imagine that Kazutora was a good partner when he listened to the stories and these were told by himself, where you actually present yourself better, especially when it came to make your ex-partner look bad. Maybe the better representation wasn't good. Chifuyu also noticed that the other had an urge to talk a lot. Revealing a lot of private information about himself or others, things that were probably told in confidence and that no third party should actually know. In addition, the blonde had clearly noticed the wandering looks while his own stories. So he couldn't really listen either.

The drinks were brought and it was Kazutora who interrupted their conversation and thanked them, throwing a smile at the waitress. With a clear look at the waitress's breasts, which wasn't short either, but at least with a thank you.

"You like women too?" the blonde asked and took a sip of his iced tea. He had now looked at all the interested looks of the other long enough to be able to answer the question himself, but it didn't cost anything to ask. Maybe Kazutora would also notice that Chifuyu noticed the vulture and stop it. After all, they had met and Chifuyu felt more like an excuse not to sit alone at the diner or to pull the "I'm gay" card .

"I'm into anything, I think. Why do you ask?"

"You look at the waitresses very lasciviously," the smaller one replied honestly and put down his glass. He kept his eyes on the pretty face of his counterpart and observed every movement in it.

"Really? Just thought for a moment if a boob job from her would feel good, but if that bothers you so much, then I'm happy to keep my attention on you," he said, and for a moment it seemed like some kind of apology. Especially with the gentle and almost sad look he gave Chifuyu. Before he spoke any further. 

"Then I can start to think if that's a big pimple on your forehead that you're trying to cover up with your hair or if you have a rash," he added and took a sip of his iced coffee, which Chifuyu was sure of , that there was way too much sugar in it and secretly hoped that Kazutora would get diabetes from it. The blond was confused and taken back by the words again, maybe even really pissed off again. He even caught himself briefly attempting to fix his bangs. Actually, he really appreciated honesty, but Kazutora's honesty didn't have to be. Chifuyu just decided not to say anything. Would be the best and would certainly avoid arguments as well.

A few minutes passed in which Chifuyu tried hard not to twitch his eyebrows too conspicuously as he watched Kazutora look at a group of high school girls four tables away. Maybe looking was the wrong term. He stared, vulture, and Chifuyu wouldn't be surprised if he put his hand in his crotch. 

Their eyes met as the taller one looked back at Chifuyu and took a sip of his drink, then smiled softly and kindly again. After that he put the glass away and stood up, leaning over the table and thus directly into Chifuyu's personal space.

"I'm just on the toilet. Trying to think about you, Fuyu~”, he whispered and then stood up straight. Chifuyu hesitated at the acronym of his name for a moment, then ran the words over in his head and was just speechless. His eyes followed Kazutora and at the other's choice of words, he couldn't help but look further down and, after blinking several times, rolled his eyes. He really didn't know what to say anymore and was ready to just walk away. Without any understanding he looked at the empty space in front of him. Finally, he sat on his cell phone for 20 minutes and informed the waitress that they would not order any food. She had looked at him almost pityingly, as if she had followed the whole thing from the beginning.

There was silence for a few minutes after Kazutora came back. The smaller one thought twice about just saying that the other guy was an asshole. However, every time Chifuyu looked at the other, looked into his eyes or observed his face as a whole, he completely forgot those words. Kazutora kept giving him a gentle smile, looking at him with such interest that Chifuyu really hoped the meeting would get better, even though it wasn't possible anymore. Still, it was the looks of interest that made Chifuyu sit still. Maybe Kazutora was just like that and it wasn't Chifuyu's fault. 

After the blonde had calmed down a bit and seemed more relaxed, Kazutora's nice looks stopped almost automatically. After a while, the taller one kept looking at the glass in his hand and had to smile. It felt very familiar if he was honest and made him grin and get an idea. With a charming smile, he pushed the iced coffee across the table, next to Chifuyu's iced tea, and then let go of the glass.

"Try it, tastes really good," he said, resting his head on his palm again. He watched Chifuyu's every little movement as he reached for the glass, cupped it, and then took a sip. His nose wrinkled at the really too sweet taste, but he smiled. Apparently Kazutora was trying to make an effort after all. At least that's how it seemed to the blonde and the thought made him smile. He said nothing about the taste. You could probably tell from his face that he didn't like it. 

Kazutora's eyes were fixed on the, for him, really nice hand of the blonde. The way it clasped the glass and released it after setting it down. He didn't pay any attention to the other's face for a second while a small lump formed in his throat and his thoughts were elsewhere. At best, Kazutora should keep the little bit of new information he'd just gotten to himself, but the urge to tell Chifuyu what he thought to his face was far greater than keeping a secret. If only he'd known that fact earlier in the restroom, things would have gone faster.

"Your hand would look really good on my cock"

"What?" Chifuyu just asked confused, not quite following and quite taken back by the sudden words. 

"Has the same circumference as the glass," was the reply he received with a dreamy smile. Like it's the best performance Kazutora could have. 

It was enough for Chifuyu. He really had put up with the other's behavior long enough and tried with all his might to remain nice, after all he was really happy to meet Kazutora.

"You really are a son of a bitch," the blond escaped while he sat straight and looked blankly at the other. His tone was serious, perhaps a little harsh. Kazutora looked at him confused, not sure if he understood correctly. He blinked several times, trying to see the other's expression.

"Sorry-" he started, but was immediately interrupted by Chifuyu.

"No. No apologies. You're late because you'd rather sleep. You insult me ​​from the start. Got your eyes on every ass or tit in here. I can see from here you try not to show your boner too obviously. Squeeze your glass in my hand to probably jerk off to the performance later and honestly: your pretty face doesn't take away what a motherfucker you are! I'd already given you a second, maybe even a third chance, but no!” Chifuyu gushed out, fighting back his complete abusiveness. He was really annoyed by Kazutora's behavior and no matter how much he wished this meeting would go well or get better, the fact was that he was fed up. The guy ignored him, paying attention to everything else but him, and then had the gall to ask Chifuyu to stay. Not a single apology or anything. 

Kazutora just looked at him, listened to him and then leaned back in his chair, relaxing his entire posture.

“Wow Chifuyu. Wow. I thought you'd appreciate my honesty and being upfront about what I think. Doesn't seem like it, but what do I expect from someone who's radiant, that they desperately need someone's attention just because their crush doesn't want them," he began, then took a deep breath, leaning across the table and looking the blonde straight in the eyes.The look at the beginning almost empty, before a certain menace was found in it.

"I didn't actually want to demolish your visage, but you're making it really difficult for me not to use your head for destroying glasses… but maybe you'll look better then," he added before standing up, hands on the tabletop to steady himself and lean slightly over Chifuyu. Chifuyu just looked up, taking the threat seriously, but didn't let that intimidate him, he was so done with Kazutora, 

"Then I guess I'd better go before I slam your face to the wall", the blond spat back, standing up as well, leaning forward, very close to the face of the taller one and didn't change an expression. No matter how menacing Kazutora's gaze was. He ignored the hot breath that came against his lips at the close range. He was much more careful not to lash out and break his opponent's nose for all the cheekiness.

"Okay, go back to the bathroom and jerk off, but I really don't need someone like you. I really regret that I wrote to you or that I didn't go straight away when you were late”, were the words with which Chifuyu turned around and thus didn't even notice the very impressed look of the other. 

He left the snack bar, leaving the other man sitting on the bill and taking a deep breath in the fresh air. For a moment, he wanted to smack himself for even briefly contemplating kissing the other when their faces were so close. He really wasn't allowed to differentiate between his looks and his character. While one was truly wonderful, the other was a complete misstep. Chifuyu would never look for anyone online again, in the end Kazutora was just the tip of the iceberg. He preferred to stay single and later became a father to 10 cats or so. 

Anger still boiling inside him, he headed back home. Once there, the feeling of disappointment spread. Chifuyu had clearly placed too much hope in this meeting. He wasn't looking for anything permanent, but maybe a good friend, someone who would keep him company for a few hours. After seeing the bigger one, he wouldn't even have minded meaningless one night stands! But for all that, did the blond wanted to give himself this terrade again, just for a few, maybe, good nights? No. Chifuyu had dignity and a clear idea of ​​how a meeting, a date, should go.

In the evening he checked his phone, really trying to understand if he hadn't been clear enough at noon as he read Kazutora's message over and over. 

“You're a real freak, but it was hot that you were fed up with me. Can I just kiss you next time you want to leave or talk too much to me?"

Next time? Chifuyu was sure that he had made it clear that he didn't want to see the other anymore. why? For the nice smile and the way Kazutora said his name? Everything around it wasn't worth it and the smaller one was certainly better off without him. So his answer was a simple "No and there will be no next time". He was about to put the phone down again when he was already answered. Rolling his eyes, he looked back at the message and shook his head at the sheer stupidity of the question. 

"So next week, same time, same place?"

He didn't bother to elaborate, he was done with Kazutora. He'd probably rather die than see the guy again.

A week later, Chifuyu was intentionally 50 minutes late for the diner and was surprised to see Kazutora waiting for him.

[lady-fey]

Tropes are the Building Blocks of Story Telling

True Love's Kiss breaks the spell. The detective solves the case. Superheroes wear tight spandex and have superpowers and/or cool gadgets.

All of these things are tropes. Some people would have you believe that means that these things are bad.

Those people are wrong.

It's nearly impossible to tell a story without using at least a few tropes. That's why pretty much every semi-popular piece of media has a TV tropes page and I'm just gonna give you that website's definition of a trope because it's spot on:

A trope is a storytelling device or convention, a shortcut for describing situations the storyteller can reasonably assume the audience will recognize. Tropes are the means by which a story is told by anyone who has a story to tell...

[Tropes] may be brand new but seem trite and hackneyed; they may be thousands of years old but seem fresh and new. They are not bad, they are not good; tropes are tools that the creator of a work of art uses to express their ideas to the audience. It's pretty much impossible to create a story without tropes.

Part of being a good writer is embracing tropes and not being afraid to use them to your benefit. That doesn't mean that you can't do something outside of the standard mold or that you have to use tropes that you hate, but when you ignore a trope, you should do it with a purpose beyond "I don't want to use tropes". Tropes are not your enemy. They're often your best friends because tropes exist for a reason. That reason is often that the trope is the best way to go about telling a certain story element.

For example, say that you hate the one best friend trope. That thing where media gives the lead a single best friend, which you find unrealistic. Many people have large friend groups and you want to reflect that, so you give your lead five best friends. Then you start writing and realize, oh, all of these characters serve basically the same role in my story and my audience is probably really struggling to remember which friend is which because each one only shows up once ever couple chapters and they all read very similarly. Is this why so many stories just give the main character one bestie even though that's not the most realistic thing?

Yeah. That's why that trope exists. Same goes for the single smart person trope. They're both all about sacrificing some realism for the sake of readability because character counts should always be as small as you can manage.

So don't fear tropes. Embrace them, understand them, and focus on telling a good story instead of a trope-free one.

One final note, don't fear cliches either. The difference between a trope and a cliche is highly subjective because a cliches is just something that has been overused and who defines when that happens?

The audience does.

Your audience will never be the entire population of the planet. If you enjoy a story idea, then chances are that others will, too. It just won't be everyone. So don't fret when some random tumblr user complains about a trope that you love even if that post gets lots of notes. Those people simply aren't your audience and the old adage "you can't please everyone" is very true when it comes to storytelling.

Thanks for reading and, as always, feel free to send me asks or add your thoughts to this post! Good luck in your creative endeavors and may the words flow freely!

[wench-and-jezebel]

NCIS Reaction: The Curse

Wench (@scripted-downfall) reacts [with (maybe) occasional asides by Jezebel (@typicalopposite)]

Since this is apparently a running part of my reaction, today’s snack report: unfortunately paltry because I have zero appetite.  I am, however, having apple soda again, so all hope is not completely lost!

CROSSBOWWWWW

Beautiful crossbow, actually

I know he just found a body or something, but I'm still stuck on the crossbow because it was pretty

Body it is

[I bet it’s terrorists]  Ya know, we haven’t had terrorists in a whole damn episode; it probably is lksadjf;lk

Tony being good with maps gives me life

They almost left him :(

He had to run to catch up :((((

Not Tony complaining about their lack of funds again (Valid, though)

"How did he get so..."  "I believe 'mummified' is the adjective you're looking for"  Actually, my The Mummy-obsessed mind autofilled "juicy", but that's exactly the opposite end of things

[Ooffff flip phone]  I love flip phones.  Had a flip phone for years and I’d still have one if I could.

TONY, YOU'RE BRILLIANT.  BUDDY JUST SHOWED OFF HIS NAVAL KNOWLEDGE AND I AM PROUD

I can't tell whether to be happy that Gibbs remembered Tony's two-year anniversary as an NCIS officer or be annoyed that he was that dismissive of it. 

Going with annoyed given his subsequent, "Seemed like a good idea at the time"  [With Gibbs, as you’ll see in later episode, he is very protective of Tony but he’s very… I can’t think of another character to compare him to, but he does care about Tony]  

– – –

Here, we paused the show to have a “short” conversation.

Wench: Bobby?

Jezebel: If Bobby’s personality was more like Rufus.  Like Bobby combined with Hotch.  Or… Botch.  If you will

Wench: Well, that's both good to know but also... idk, maybe this is a flaw in my personality, but I always feel like constant ribbing goes too far.  Like, for a Dark Angel parallel, Max and Alec's banter might not have been bad, but it's constant and oppressive and too extensive to be just light-hearted banter.  Her initial "Alec, as in smart-aleck" isn't that bad on its own.  Combine it with everything else, it gets less haha, they're bantering and more damn, she's an asshole to him.  Here, the teasing would have been fine, but now it's kinda wearing.  And I feel like that being your work environment would suck.

Jezebel: And that’s fair. He is very much a grouch teetering towards if not sometimes full on ass hole. But man’s had a hard life and let it make him a hard ass I guess you can say. Lol

Wench: Sure, but he’s mainly only being like this to Tony.  Kate has had a few interactions like this, but not nearly as many.  And Ducky — as mentioned — has to deal with Gibbs interrupting him a lot.  But still, way more Tony than anyone.

Jezebel: Well, Tony’s the one (other than ducky, I think) who’s been with him longer.  Yes it’s normally geared at Tony. And if Tony is your favorite, I’m guessing that would bother you. Initially, Gibbs was my favorite when we first started watching again because I knew the full backstories and what was to come before watching. So I guess I just view it as Gibbs being Gibbs, and they don’t seem hurt by it so it is what it is lol

Wench: I get that, but also… idk, again, maybe I’m putting myself into character roles (not just Tony’s) too much, but that kinda.  Sucks.  Like, I ramble to people and have them walk off without paying attention, or interrupt because what I’m saying is “unimportant,” and yeah, maybe it is, but it’s still something important to me.  So I see Ducky getting interrupted/dismissed, and I know how much that can, frankly, hurt.  (I recognize that me rambling about something frivolous when we’re hanging out doing nothing anyway is different from a rant in the middle of a crime scene investigation, but it doesn’t change things that much.  The point stands.)  Or I see Kate getting disciplined for asking for an explanation, and that irks me because I completely get the importance of understanding why you’re doing something.  (And yeah, I get that sometimes you have to snap to attention and follow orders, but not all of Gibbs’ little that was an order; I don’t answer to you things are in situations that are time-sensitive to that degree.)  Or my family reunions, with nastiness hidden under “teasing.”  You don’t go along with it and you’re “not a good sport” or “too sensitive”, but it’s so oppressive that it wears, and ignoring it becomes vaguely impossible.  There’s so much that it’s not just a slightly-mean-spirited-but-still-funny-haha joke; it’s more serious than that.  (This is the Tony parallel of the story.)  And seeing these dynamics played for laughs is a bit.  Iffy.  To me.

Jezebel: And all that is fair. And is it possible that you’re putting yourself too much in the characters’ shoes, but that’s both fair and kinda a big part of shows in general. And something I don’t think writers consider. Because, iirc, it’s never touched on that any of this bothers either Tony or Ducky, and both will fight to the death over Gibbs, as would Kate (except she has repeatedly fought him on her thing 😂).  And by fight, I mean also in a sense of if someone came and was like you’re a horrible person look how you treat them. They would be like whoa ho no stop! Leave him alone

Wench: I mean… tbf, them defending him doesn’t mean that much.  Just pointing out that Dean would do that for Sam

Jezebel: Fair, but Dean also expresses things Sam does to hurt him. Again, iirc, that’s NEVER touched on here.  (Ok, maybe not EXPRESSES, but you know they do.)   Also, to this: they are brothers and Dean has been raised to do NOTHING but protect and love Sam. And to put him about everything. Tbf, Gibbs is just Tony’s boss and Ducky’s coworker (I don’t think he’s his boss).  They don’t HAVE to care so much for him. They just do.

Wench: So, tbf, that was just an example of how someone’s personal willingness to defend treatment does not automatically make it good treatment… but, r.e. your point about them not having to care about GIbbs: that doesn’t change the fact that they do.  And they largely seem to respect him.  So his judgement still matters, even if it doesn’t have to.

Wench again, but a slightly separate topic: I do think that a large part of the issue is that this is the comic relief.

Jezebel: Yes!!!  It’s very…  I can’t think of the word. The show is a serious and sometimes dark show.  I think it might get better for you as it goes

Wench (continued from above): But they only show the filler, and not much of their other interactions.  So their relationships basically come across as "Gibbs 'banters' with Tony about disrespecting him" without actually showing the parts where he does the respecting that would counterbalance it.  (yet).  Or "Gibbs doesn't care about Ducky's rambling interests and seems to think him a bit doddering" without showing the conversations where that doesn't happen.

Jezebel: Fair

Wench: And I get that's not the focus of the show, so the writers didn't prioritize it... but it's still important.  It's the difference, imo, between direct characterization and implied characterization.  This show currently is very... surface-level.  There's no need — or desire, seemingly, on the behalf of the writers — for analysis by the audience; everything important thus far is simple and spelled out.  The script more or less says that Gibbs respects Ducky; thus, Gibbs respects Ducky.  And, since the script says it, they don't need to actually write it because obviously it's true.  That's the direct characterization bit, and, until it's directly contradicted, that's just the status quo.

Jezebel: Yes, and that’s what I mean when I said that the writers didn’t consider viewers taking the banter personally and it coming across as rude instead of funny.

Wench: Whereas I'm looking at the indirect characterization and seeing nothing to support this direct characterization.  There's not much underlying respect to their interactions.  Aside from when Ducky's actually giving facts about the case, every interaction has been Gibbs shutting Ducky up.  (e.g. walking out/hanging up on one of their conversations, etc.)  So, intellectually, am I surprised that none of the team is ever negatively harmed (ostensibly, at least) by Gibbs' personality?  No.  The side of their relationships that would make it healthy are just always happening off screen or something.  I'm just saying that the characterization is inconsistent depending on whether they're talking on screen or not, and taking the on-screen interactions as a sign of how they interact off screen makes things a lot less happy-funny-haha than it's intended.

Jezebel: Yeah, that all makes sense. Just, like I’ve said before, I don’t dive that deep into stuff, so that’s why I initially don’t get it. But I get it 🙂

Wench: That sounds vaguely like I'm browbeating you into agreeing.  Plz tell the reaction viewers (and me) that I'm not doing this alkdsfj 

Jezebel: I think I’m at the point where I see that you take the characterization very seriously, judging by what you’re saying.  And I take what the script says for what it says, if that makes sense.  

Wench: Yeah, I follow.

Jezebel: But I can tell you that it’s not that deep or whatever, and you can know it’s not that deep because you see in the script that it’s not supposed to be that deep.  This is just supposed to be comic relief.  But if you’re still affected by it like it is that deep, that’s fair, and who am I to say you’re in the wrong for that, you know?  Or anyone else for that matter.

Wench: Yeah, I get what you’re saying.  And I doubt I will stop commenting on them being mean to Ducky or Tony (or maybe even Kate, sometimes, especially if I start liking her more), but I recognize (and, technically, have since the beginning of the show) that it’s not as serious a thing as I’m saying.  I know it's comic relief and a very surface view of writing, intellectually, but I still want to remark on it, emotionally.  You know?

Jezebel: Yeah that’s fair

Wench: Ready to continue?

Jezebel: Yeah, but hold on let me heat up my (normal) food

Wench: ljlaskdjflkadjf rude

Jezebel: 😂😂😂😂

Thus concludes the “short” conversation that lasted 50 minutes.

– – – 

The British side of me is annoyed by the “lootenant” instead of “leftenant.”  (No, I’m not British; I was just raised on British Isles television.)

Abby is adorable

Kate's hair being so long and unrestrained bugs me

Abby is still adorable.

Oof, poor dude being charged as a deserter :(  BUDDY WAS DEAD  [Right ?!?]

Bravo, Tony.  Research skills!

Not them being mean about his research skills :(

Okay, the conversation about GIBs vs Gibbs is kinda funny [😂😂]

"You took the easy way"  Accurate. Go off, Tony

Tony and Gibbs in chorus is rather funny, ngl, but also.  Gibbs, leave off the "if" statement if it changes nothing about the outcome alkdsjf

I do appreciate Ducky chatting to the corpses every episode  [It’s gonna be sad eventually]  Oof  [That’s all I say]

THE LIGHT BOARD IS SO COOL

Also, vaguely adorable that he remembered the case by connecting it to Gibbs

Once again, the emphasis on his rambling is a touch sad but whateverrrrr

Gibbs not listening to him even about the case tho ("No!  I just told you...")

aksdjflkasjdf "*heavy sigh*  Well, looks like we're gonna have to go to Hawai'i, boss."

Oof, the talk of ages  [I feel ya Gibbs]

I appreciate Tony giving shit back to Gibbs this time

Dude, his age is bound to be in his file somewhere

Tony... affectionately, shut up :)  [Tony done put him in his feelings]

Oof.  "He'll be exonerated?"  Um... 'bout that.

Damn, six years isn't bad!  Though, btw, Randy is automatically a bit suspicious.  Was he in the service?

Something about the wife's acting in this scene is also a bit suspicious, but I don't think it's intended to be.

[OH DAMN.  He died the day she was born; that sucks]

Damn, Gibbs, go off.

I will give you that Gibbs' acting does a bit to cover up the writing issues; he's clearly harsher and more serious when he's actually angry at someone than when he's bantering.  (e.g. that agent vs Tony/Ducky/et al)

This time, Tony's the one harping on a joke lakdsjf [😂😂😂]

Gotta love adrenaline-junkie!Tony coming back for an episode

BRINGING BACK ABBY’S SIGNING!!!

– – –

Okay, midpoint reaction time…

I honestly think this episode is better in the writing.  It's really ironic that we just had the discussion above on the episode (other than the pilot) that's actually been not-bad on the "teasing" front.  For one thing, it's far less restricted to one person.  Gibbs, Ducky, Tony, Kate, even Abby... they've all had moments where they're teasing and moments where they're being teased.  For another... idk, it's all hanging together better.  There are moments where each character gets to be shown as blatantly competent on screen.  Gibbs, obviously, has one as the main character, but you've also got Ducky exhibiting his stellar knowledge of autopsies (past and present), and Tony rattling off random naval/geographical facts, and Kate handling research/next-of-kin interviews on her own, and Abby doing her own awesome lab stuff.  This is the first episode — except, again, maybe the pilot — in which I didn't feel like most of them were reduced to archetypes (the mad scientist; the jester; the techie; etc)  [🙂]

Storyline is interesting — no terrorists quite yet, though — and decently paced thus far; we’ll see if that continues.  Uh... it's getting late and I'm out of things to say rn; stay tuned!

– – –

alkjfalkj Abby and Tony, the duo I needed

Damn, an actually enjoyable interaction between Kate and Tony  [☠️☠️]

Still loving Abby's fashion, lab appropriate or no

"What schmuck?"  "Our schmuck, unfortunately" alksdfj

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT RANDY BEING SUSPICIOUS [😂😂😂😂]  One of these days, I'm gonna actually solve the case before they do successfully.  (I still maintain that the last one should have been a computer virus)  [☠️😂]

Not Tony harping on the funds again alskdfj  “First class toilet?”

“How old do you think Gibbs is?”  aslkdfj

Never trust chick flicks, I swea-  YES, GIBBS, AGREED  [☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️]

[I love that after that whole “short” interaction…. You have had twenty moments of Gibbs being different ☠️]  I know, I’m crying.  I’ve made a fool of myself.  Our readers will never trust me again.  (I SWEAR IT WAS ACCURATE IN THE OTHER EPISODES OKAY)

[I’m ded at how he said Gibbs] aklsdjf

“I don’t even want to hear the word ‘curse’ out of your mouth, DiNozzo.”  “Would I say that, boss?”  “You said it to me.”  [“You said it first”]

[She’s got the smirk of a guilty person.  GUILTY]  Tis true. But also, is this your reaction!?!?!?  :)))  [*silence*]  This was a joke; please keep doing it  [😂😂😂]

… [Well shit]  Damn, she's got receipts.  Literally.

Abby and Ducky, my dears, I love you

[Not a niblick]

This is called "how many times can we say 'niblick' in one scene" [☠️☠️☠️☠️]

I like her necklace again

"... my dear"  "... my darling"  I love them

[Guiltyyyyy]

He said the word "fraternize"; that's a yes on the romance (GOmens vibes)

"That wans't in your report"  "It didn't seem pertinent"  It's always pertinent, my dude.

Oop, Tony's flirting smile makes an appearance

"Do not 'sir' m-"  [*simultaneously* Do not sir me]  Oi.  [= Tony called me old and now my feelings be hurt]  alksdjf;lkasdjf ACCURATE  [The reading part still kills me. ‘Cause same my dude. My old dude]  :(  [I have to take my glasses off to read☠️]

You can tell things are getting intense; the music is picking up

I really want it to be Randy, plz.  I called it and I wanna be rightttttt.

Abby's getting so many good scenes; I love her  [Yessss]  Like her music too, btw.  [😂]

“Speaking of big boys”  [👀 that’s why people ship you two, Tony]  I mean.... Steddie quotes…  But also, no.  I don't like it.  Please, no.  [☠️☠️☠️☠️  Hurry up and appear McGee]  Yeah, I, uh… I don’t like it.  Their characters just.  Don’t work.  Imo.

Who’s snoring?  [☠️☠️☠️☠️ That meeee.  I’m Gibbs]  alskdjflaksdjf rude.  Don't you dare.  I need you to proof this before I post  [Ok lol]

TONY'S HAIR

"I'll get them to confess" mmmhmmm

Another good Kate-and-Tony interaction

aslkdjflkasdjf "hermetically sealed" gives me Now You See Me flashbacks.  "That's it: I'm allergic to hermetic seals"  

[Ooooooh…  I hate her]  Yeahhhh  [Get her Kate]  Okay, I confess, I appreciate Kate’s passion here  [Chick fight.  Pull her hair.]

Kasjdflkasdjf THE ANIMATION OF THE CRIME

alksjdf poor Abby, getting her animation slighted.  I knew I didn't like that petty officer chick; "petty" is right

[Hinky]  HINKY.  Such a good word.

[☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  Noooooo, I’m ded]  Did.  Did they legit say that she.  Walked by.  And distracted the other servicefolk.  Because she turned heads.

ONCE AGAIN.  WHY DOES ANYONE TRUST THE NCIS ANYMORE. THEY'RE ALWAYS LYING.

[So many.  SOOOOO MANNNYYY.  Episodes end with that elevator shutting.]  aksldjflkasjf

*elevator shuts*

– – –

Okay.  Um.  I’m aggravated.  Not because the writing/acting/characterization was bad, because it wasn’t.  But because.  After I spent all that time detailing how it’s been bad in the past.  They then went: PSYCH.  And changed the handling of the entire cast and character list.  I liked it better, don't get me wrong, but those were not the characters who'd been in every past episode since the pilot.  Jezebel, please tell me you agree.

Anyway... I enjoyed that episode, so I'm pleasantly surprised.  The Abby interactions with everyone else were delightful.  The team was a bit less archetypal/formulaic.  The comedic relief was lighter, less implied-to-be-harmful-even-if-directly-stated-as-not.  I liked Kate this episode; she had a lot of Max's positive traits and very few of her negative ones: smart, capable, and impassioned, but not rude, arrogant, or logic-blind.  Gibbs was a lot more of a grouchy mentor figure (affectionate) than a grouchy mentor figure (derogatory).  And the others, of course, I loved.  I always do, though, so that's not a surprise.

And I'm realizing that you're definitely asleep or something, aren't you, Jezebel.  [*silence*]  I think that’s a yes.

Welp.

Okay, then.

This is great.

Ummmmmmm.  *nervous chuckle*  Not that I’m paranoid about posting my reactions without Jezebel beta’ing them, but I’m abso-freaking-lutely paranoid about posting my reactions without her beta’ing them.  Also, I literally cannot post this without her say-so because it has her words in it, and I have to get her consent.  But, I have work tomorrow and I kinda wanted to post this before I went to bed.  But, I’m tired.  But- [I’m awake, lol.  And 😂😂😂😂😂 I agreee (about the characters) It THRILLLS me that this happened this particular episode]  SHE LIVES!  Muahahahah, I can post on time.  This midnight conversation with myself is still staying in the reaction, however, because I find it hilarious.

Hope you enjoyed our wackiness, and the random way this show seems to thrive on proving me wrong… ‘Til next time!

[karainball]

Is it necessary to forgive insults in order to move on?

Initially, the answer to this question may seem unambiguous to us - of course. After all, how else can we continue our journey in this harsh life with such a burden on our shoulders. However, is this really what is holding us back? How much do bad memories affect our lives? And do they have any effect at all, because this is far from our only concern - to look at our scars and think what caused them.

Many argue that forgiveness is the only way to healing.

They're probably right about something. It is possible to treat damage, the presence of which you do not recognize. But this does not mean that all paths lead to the same end. In order to start working on this part of yourself, it is enough to see and allow yourself to feel the pain that was inflicted on us earlier. It is not necessary to immediately rush with noble speeches that you have already let it go and do not hold a grudge against those people at all. At the very least, this is most likely not entirely true. As a maximum, it's not really healthy, hiding your feelings, pretending that you overcame it, you deprive yourself of the opportunity to live through the trauma and, subsequently, really let go.

Forgiveness is a skill we've been taught all our lives.

The idea that holding a grudge against offenders is almost a sin is laid down to us from an early age. Many parents said the hackneyed "be smarter / taller than them" and the like. Like, being offended by fools who call you tolstoy is a thankless thing. And even if they don't teach you to tolerate such an attitude towards yourself and encourage you to defend your borders, there will always be a couple of smart guys who will immediately call you a snitch. Understanding and forgiving immediately begins to sound like a better prospect.

In adult life, the rules do not change, only the methods change. Loud name-calling turns into obsessive advice, and accusations of snitching turn into stories about your hypersensitivity. At some point, it may really seem that the efforts to explain his condition, which has noticeably worsened from such verbal sparring, are in vain. It's easier not to be offended at all, that's why the whole team is spoiling the infusion.

Forgiveness is not for those who hurt you, it is for you.

Again, how to look at it. Of course, this idea sounds beautiful. Like, I'm so conscious of losing interest in constant whining about you and flourishing in my forgetfulness. Our option is still just to let go. And what about those nights that I cried into my pillow nonstop? Or tons of ice cream, which I ate my grief with? Surely all these sacrifices are for nothing. I'm kidding, obviously. But there is a fine line between not allowing a person to treat you badly and throwing tantrums like a young child.

And what if the abuser is a member of the inner circle? After all, they will never know how much I don't like their jokes about my failed personal life. "But I should just leave it in the past. I'm doing this for myself, not for them". However, for some reason this song doesn't calm me down at all. Someone will continue to behave in this way, maybe already with someone else, if I stop all communication with them, and new people will endlessly forgive them, for the sake of the illusion of the opportunity to amuse their ego with new achievements in the practice of "empty chair".

Is it worth trying to step over yourself for the sake of peace?

Ultimately, every person is different. Someone really needs to let go of the situation, let their resentment disappear and try to forget everything. And someone needs a reminder that the injury inflicted on them is not their fault at all. That there is a culprit in the world, and he has every right not to forgive him. A kind of power, I can stop being mad at you, or I can continue, I took these reins. People don't have to heal in order to eventually forgive or vice versa. The main thing in this situation, in any case, is yourself. Your feelings have been hurt, and trust has been undermined, and what to do next is up to you.