#the sweater caused me some stress but I figured it out in the end lol

[wigglebox]

Suptober - Day 3;

Digital

[mamamittens]

Well, we have a game plan but the coming weeks will be quite illuminating about if we'll need to take out loans to consolidate pre existing debt.

The "Oh Shit Sale" is still ongoing btw, which basically means half off commissions and the chance to sponsor a chapter of a fic I haven't updated for $20 bucks (ABSOLUTELY A LAST RESORT FOR ME AND NOT IN ANY WAY GOING TO CONTINUE ONCE I FEEL COMFORTABLE IN MY CURRENT FINANCIAL STRIFE).

I will be very glad to announce the sale has ended but for the moment, it is still very much active.

Anyway, time for something less depressing! Like rambling about my new pokemon OC until I feel able to go to sleep!

So, I have a very definied look for Edna during work hours. Very... Althetic chic? Idk, she's wearing leggings and sleeveless mock turtleneck, it's very much A Look. So I was trying to figure out what her 'comfy' wear would be.

Personality wise it would make sense for her to prefer comfy, soft fabrics. She doesn't like conflict despite being very fit, as her workout routine is stress relief, which is why her normal outfit is so athletically inclined. My roomie suggested sweater dresses? But I'm not committed yet.

Whatever style it is, I want it to be cute and very... Soft? Like, cuddling would be so fucking amazing. Perhaps sweats and thick sweaters. Like a lazy librarian?

And her hair... It's already down for her main look, save random braids from her Pokemon friends. And that much hair would be heavy as shit so idk if she'd pull it up. Doubt she'd bother wearing her Togapi beanie though. Maybe one big braid with little braids throughout since she has time to let them actually do her whole hair. Just a thick, chunky braid lol

I also put some thought into how her job works. I doubt they'd be so slave driving she'd drop off a package and immediately return. She'd likely have a bulk delivery to a region she needs to complete in a certain time frame and as long as she's not late, it's fine. So in her off hours she'd likely be cleaning out whatever housing she owns in the area of her aunt's personal affects, saving them for her folks when it's sentimental or donating. I like to imagine her ordering local, sometimes with her most recent troublesome client as an apology for making her jump through hoops to deliver a package THEY ORDERED.

I imagine all of her aunt's properties are decked out for housing pokemon and eggs. So she's well prepared for the shenanigans her aunt's charm brings.

As for why she doesn't do pokemon breeding, well aside from ruining the egg gag if it's on purpose, she just doesn't have the eye for it. Edna really loves pokemon so she wouldn't have the heart to critically evaluate a Pokemon's worth the way her aunt did. She could absolutely do it if given time, but she'd just end up adopting all the 'failed' attempts, which isn't viable. She also wouldn't be able to stand people that would pay for such services as they'd likely be very dismissive of any perceived lack in a pokemon.

For sleeping arrangements, Yolky has preferential treatment as a rule. And also because they wind up as the smallest in her party, even by Togepi/Togetic/Togekiss standards, being slightly smaller than the smallest known measurement. (I may fudge numbers a bit cause it's infamously unclear how tf these professors are measuring these pokemon, so maybe Yolky's final form is measured by wingspan?) And Baby and Danny sleep nearby depending on where they are. For storms, Danny likes to keep watch with Helper (who never really sleeps to begin with, literally keeping ghostly vigil and watching over any eggs) and Baby likes to sleep on Edna's legs if Danny is present. Particularly once they evolve into an alpha Sylveon (as yet another joke on Yolky's expense, he's so mad about that).

Parcel has insomnia so they often stay up with Helper but do enjoy napping as they travel on trains and such. If they can manage, they like sleeping against Edna's back/hair.

As part of the universal weirdness concerning people casually carrying around incredibly heavy pokemon, there are many times where Edna doesn't even notice one of her Pokemon are asleep in her hair, using braids as footholds or securing points. Usually Yolky, especially once Danny starts braiding her hair with his poison spit to prevent frizz. Accidentally boosts all of their poison resistance with this stunt but he's not sorry, just embarrassed.

If it's Yolky in her hair, he's often mistaken for a massive bow, not helped by his unique, shiny-bred appearance.

Ah, for reference, Baby is a shiny Eevee that evolves into Sylveon. Danny (Cadenza) is a shiny Toxitricity. Parcel is a shiny Delibird (from work, she doesn't hatch or find this one). And Helper (Little Helper) is a shiny-bred Chandelure from her aunt that she inherited with many properties and a 'Happy Egg Charm' that unbeknownst to Edna, spawns increasingly rare eggs on top of determining viability of eggs, compatibility of two pokemon, and if an egg is shiny.

It's the main gag, it's a whole thing and I'm having a blast imagining it.

Edna usually gives the Pokemon or eggs to local professors, fueling a massive conspiracy in every region about how tf she gets these rare eggs. Only the professor from her home region knows the truth cause he's familiar with her family and aunt. But he just never seems to get the chance to explain. Whoops.

[akingdomofswordsandstories]

Unrequited

azriel (acotar) x reader

Summary: takes place during acofas, you and Azriel are mates but he doesn’t know it yet, angst, fluff, and everything in between

*Also this is my first imagine ever so I'm sorry if it sucks lol! There will be a part 2 to this, but I am still working on it!!

word count: 3927

---------------------------------

The winter solstice was in a few days and you weren’t sure what to get some of the inner circle. You walked briskly down the streets of the Rainbow, chilled to the bone due to the wind. You had made the dumb mistake of rushing out of the townhouse - to avoid any questions of where you were going - without taking your scarf. Your current outfit, which was a chunky knit blue sweater with leggings and boots, wasn’t enough to keep the chill away. But the cold wasn’t the most important thing on your mind. You had already bought presents for Rhys, Feyre, Amren, and Elain, but that left Cassian, Mor, and Azriel. Mor and Cass would be pretty easy to buy for, but you put it off knowing they would look through your room trying to find their solstice gift. But Azriel, that would be much harder.

Every waking hour, the shadowsinger haunted your thoughts. Something you had come to conclude was unrequited.

You had realized the mating bond between you two before he did.

It had clicked a few months ago while on a diplomatic mission. The aftermath of Hybern had left things chaotic, and if you were being honest, it still was. Rhys decided to send Cassian, Mor, Azriel, and you to travel to some of the other courts to bring back reports on the recovery after the war. However, traveling did have some dangers. While you were on your way back to Velaris from the Winter Court, your group was ambushed by a group of Hybern soldiers who had been hiding out in the mountains. Had it not been for Azriel’s wings shielding you from the initial arrows, you would’ve surely been dead, and that’s when it clicked for you. But like an idiot, you didn’t say anything.

You had thought if the bond had clicked for you, it would've clicked for Azriel too. You realized your mistake when Azriel hadn’t acknowledged any change between you two. You hoped that he would figure it out in the coming weeks, but he didn’t. You knew the same sort of situation happened with feyre and rhys so you still held out some hope. But as the months went by, and you realized the bond still hadn’t clicked for Azriel and it felt too late to tell him.

At least that was the excuse you made up. Truly, you were also afraid of the rejection that could have followed. You weren’t a fool, you knew him and Elain had some sort of connection, and that shattered your dreams even more. The possibility that he wouldn’t accept the mating bond to be with the fair skinned, doe eyed fae. Everytime Azriel was in the same room as Elain, she was the only thing he would pay attention to. During gatherings, you would plaster on a smile and act as if you were happy, but Cassian and Mor, your best friends, could sense your discomfort. They tried to ask you about it, but seeing as you would shut down anything they said, they decided not to pry too much. Amren ended up figuring out the source of your discomfort had to do with Azriel, but kept your secret until you would be ready to share it.

You came to the conclusion that distancing yourself from him would be the best option, so that's what you did.

You walked down the street till you got to one of the finest seamstresses is Velaris. Since you were an artist like Feyre, you decided to draw out a dress and have it made for Mor. The color was blood red, her signature. It was a silk slip dress that would come down to her mid-lower calf and it would be embroidered with a brilliant gold thread. You drew out a pattern of the sun, stars, and moon, which you hoped she would like. To go along with Mor’s dress, you got a jeweler to make a custom necklace and bracelet set to go with it. You designed more dainty jewelry that had gold stars with diamonds, since she was a dreamer.

You decided to design Cassian’s gift as well, creating a beautiful silver and black dagger with a moonstone on the hilt. It was a beautiful dagger, but you also made sure it was usable, because you would hate for it to go to waste. To add onto the combat theme, you also decided to buy him new fighting leathers with touches of red embroidery to match his siphons. Lastly, you bought Cassian a bottle of fae wine, which definitely wouldn't last long.

The last thing you got for all three of you was a friendship necklace. Although that sounds corny, the two of them had become such a positive force in your life and you couldn’t imagine life without them. Keeping with the celestial theme for the friendship necklaces, you bought a sun, a moon, and a star. The sun for Cassian, the moon for Mor, and the star for you. Although they are opposites in some ways, all three need each other, just like the three of you needed each other.

Now that you had gotten Mor’s and Cassian’s solstice gifts figured out, it was onto Azriel’s gift. You honestly had no clue what to get him. Due to distancing yourself, you weren’t sure if there was something that he wanted. You were positively stumped. Lucky for you though, you ended up spotting Mor in another shop a few stores down from where you were, most likely getting the rest of her solstice gifts. You decided to sneak up on her as a friendly prank. Grabbing her shoulders, you yelled in her ear, making her jump.

“Oh mother above, it’s just you, y/n! You scared the life out of me” Mor said.

“Doing some last minute shopping?” you asked. “I could ask you the same thing”. Giving her a playful smack on the arm, the corners of your mouth curled upward, even the simplest remark from her could make you smile.

The two of you were currently standing in front of a jewelry shop, looking at the collections of necklaces and earrings through the window. “Wow” you breathed out “These are all so beautiful”

“Indeed they are, although they’re quite pricey”

“How pricey is pricey?”

She whispered the amount in your ear and you stopped breathing for a second, “Holy Mother wow, that is quite the price tag. At least we can admire it from a far”, you laughed out. Even though you got a very generous salary from Rhys, you still felt guilty spending so much money on materialistic things.

After a moment you said, “Actually, since you’re here, I do need help finding a solstice gift for Azriel”, softening your voice at the end, “Any ideas?” you asked, drawing out the syllables.

“Well, I always get Azriel some cool towels, clothing, or a dagger!” Mor said. A small scoff came out of my mouth as I shook my head and raised my eyebrows. “Fine!” she exclaimed, “I may have overheard him needing a new leather sheath for Truth Teller.” grumbling towards the end. “Oh that sounds great, thank you for the help! Now let’s go off to the closest leather goods store and find a sheath!”.

“y/n! I still have shopping to do” a scowl appearing on her face. “Fine, I guess I’ll just call Cassian, cause his judgement might be better than yours, when it comes to knife related things of course” you said, baiting her.

“Ugh, I hate you y/n”

“I hate you too Mor”

“Fine, let's get going before I change my mind” she grumbled. Then we took off down the streets of the Rainbow to find a sheath.

The task was easier said than done, for you at least. Being indecisive and a major over thinker, you had looked through close to 100 sheaths, but none of them seemed good enough to hold the blade that Azriel never let anyone else touch. Except Elain.

While you were lost in your thoughts, you laid your y/c eyes on the perfect sheath. It had a bright cobalt blue stitching to match Az’s siphons. Along the tip and lining the top of the leather was a thin coat of silver plating with little sapphires embedded in the metal. You quickly snatched it up and paid a hefty price for it, but it was perfect.

“Thank god you finally picked one, it felt like we were in that store for centuries”. Mor sighed, probably a sigh of relief for getting out of the store, “But y/n, it’s perfect, I know Azriel will love it”

“Do you really think so? I just want it to be the perfect gift and I’m scared he won’t like it because what if it’s too simplistic and what if-”

“Hey! It's perfect! Don’t stress too much y/n. And for the record, I think that you’re an amazing gift giver - the amount of thought you put into gifts make it all the better.”

You could feel a blush creeping up your cheeks and mumbled a small thank you.

“Anyway while we’re here do you need to get anything to go with your solstice outfit?”

“Oh Actually, I was so stressed about getting everyone’s solstice gift that I forgot to buy my dress” your voice falling off at the end. You felt yourself being yanked to a harsh stop and the saw Mor’s face staring at yours, mouth gaping and eyes wide.

“Are you crazy?? Solstice is in 3 days and you still don’t have anything??? Oh honey, our shopping isn’t done yet.” And with that statement you found yourself being pulled into the nearest dress shop. After trying on nearly 20 dresses you finally found the perfect one, which Mor approved. It was a light blue silk dress that was more fitted at the top but flared down at your waist. It had a cowl neckline, a slit going up the side to the mid upper thigh, and accentuates your curves beautifully and has a slight shimmer to it. You looked ethereal in it

---------------------------------

After your exhausting day of shopping, you couldn’t wait to get out of the cold. You swiftly walked back to the townhouse. Once inside you made your way to your room to set down the gifts, change your clothes, and grab your book. Then you quietly headed down to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of tea and sat on the couch to read. The house was quiet since all of the others decided to go to Rita’s tonight. You decided to stay home for some much needed relaxation. You opened your book and started reading. After a few hours, you felt your eyes drooping and eventually, sleep consumed you.

The loud noise of the front door caused you to stir and your eyes fluttered open. You were too exhausted to look so you just laid your head back down and tried to go to sleep. You could hear Mor whispering something and then felt yourself being lifted off the couch and being held close to a chest with your blanket still draped on you.

“Cass?” you whispered hoarsely along with a string of incoherent words

You heard a slight laugh “Not Cass but It’s ok, go back to sleep”. Then you felt yourself being gently placed on your bed and the sleep hit you before you could mutter a thank you.

---------------------------------

The sun was setting towards the sea as you sat in the sitting room of the town house. You were in your blue silk dress with a glass of wine in your hand. Rhys and Feyre were by the mantel, quietly talking while Mor and Amren were across the room. Near the window I saw Elain, and from the corner of my eye I could see Azriel making his way towards her. My face fell but I quickly plastered on a smile, not wanting to concern anyone. Especially since today was also Feyre’s birthday and we had planned a surprise for her. Feyre thought she could slip her birthday past us, but we hadn’t forgotten. After a few minutes, Cassian made his way from the kitchen with the enormous cake.

You floated towards Feyre and gave her arm a light squeeze. “Happy Birthday, make a wish before the candles melt!”

She blew out the candles and then we ate cake before opening up the presents.

---------------------------------

Rhys snapped his fingers and piles of brightly wrapped bags and boxes filled up the sitting room. Amren was the first to open her presents. Naturally, everyone got her something jewelry related. Amren opened mine and you saw a wide smile set across her face, she picked up the diamond necklace and nodded a ‘thank you’ your way. You returned the gesture back, a small smile forming on your face.

Next, Cassian handed Mor her present from him and she pulled out a-. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. He bought her red lingerie. Your face turned slightly red, but the Mor said “Don’t let him fool you: he couldn’t think of a damn thing to get me, so he gave up and asked me outright. I gave him precise orders. For once in his life, he obeyed them.”

Then, you heard one sharp knock at the door.

Nesta.

You saw Cassian tense up a bit. Nesta walked in, linking arms with Elain. She got a glass of wine before heading to sit in a chair in the back of the room. The silence was deafening. Finally Varian started talking and the present opening resumed.

From Amren, you received a new calligraphy set. It was so beautiful and you loved it. From Rhys, you got some books. It was perfect since you loved to read, and they were ones that you had been wanting to read for a long time. From Feyre, you received a painting as well as a new paint brush kit.

Cassian made his way to you and set a gift down in your lap. You opened the dark blue box that Cassian had placed in your lap. He had gotten you a sky blue hardbound journal with a gold embossed star on it. You desperately needed a new one, and this was perfect. You walked over and gave him a hug, whispered “Thank you, I love it.”.

Next you opened Mor’s present. You nearly choked when you saw what she got you and your whole face heated up. She got you a matching navy blue lingerie set like the one Cassian bought her.

“Yeah, I wasn’t too sure what to get you so I thought we could twin”. You looked around the room and saw the others holding in their laughs. You could’ve sworn you saw a tinge of red on Azriel’s ears. You just smiled and mouthed a silent “I’m going to kill you, but thank you” at her.

There wasn’t anything from Azriel. Your heart twinged. Had you not been important enough? It was just a present you reminded yourself, fixing your composure before handing Cassian his present.

He ripped it open like an animal, squealing when he saw it. A promising reaction given the amount of thought you put into it.

“Did you design these? They look amazing!”

“Yeah, I’m glad you like it. It took a long time to figure out what to get for your dumb ass”

“You mean my cute ass”, you smacked his arm and then got up to give Mor her present.

You closely watched her reaction as she opened her dress and jewelry, a large smile spreading across her face.

“You really buy the perfect presents y/n, I love it”.

“Oh Cass, Mor. One more thing.” You pulled out the small boxes with the friendship necklaces and bracelets handing it to them. “This was just a little something extra I thought of, I hope you like it”. You knew you would have started stuttering and crying if you had said the meaning to them, so you just handed them notes instead. They read over them, eyes glossing over, and pulled you into a hug.

“This is the only time I’ll wear jewelry” Cass stated, causing you to chuckle

Then Mor said, “I am never taking this off” causing you to laugh again.

Finally, Azriel opened up his presents. He had opened up all the others. All that was left was yours and Elain’s gift to him. He found his way to your present first, opening it.

“A new sheath for Truth Teller. I heard you needed a new one” you quietly said.

He held your gaze and smiled, “Thank you, it's great”. Suddenly feeling exposed, you quickly gave him a nod.

Then he went to open Elain’s gift. “It’s a powder to mix in with any drink.” she said.

Silence.

Elain bit her lip and then smiled sheepishly. “It’s for the headaches everyone always gives you. Since you rub your temples so often.”

Silence again.

Then Azriel tipped his head back and laughed.

You hadn’t heard him laugh before, and mother above it was gorgeous. You had never heard a sound so deep and joyous, a sound which made your heart clench. A part of you wished you were the reason he was laughing. You forced on a smile and spent the rest of the night drinking away the slight pain in your chest.

You were exhausted by the end of the night, sitting on the couch with Cassian and Mor, Azriel and Rhys seated on the opposite side of you.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw movement towards the door, and craned your head to see what was going on. It was Nesta making her way to the door. You felt the couch lift next to you.

Cassian. He had swiftly pushed past Feyre and went after Nesta. This wouldn’t end well.

---------------------------------

Cassian had come back quiet and brooding, walking straight to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of liquor. You got up off the couch and followed him straight into the kitchen.

“Cass, let’s take a walk, yeah?”

“I just took a walk”

“It wasn’t a question”. You grabbed a white shawl and his hand and led him outside. “What happened?”

“What’s there to talk about? It was like all the other times. Why did I have to fall in love with someone who doesn't even love me back. Who looks at me like the Illyrian born bastard I am. Who hates the idea of being in the same room as me.”

You grabbed Cass’ hand, lightly squeezing it. “Don’t say that. Nesta, she,” your voice stopping for a second “She’s different. The way she handles pain and copes is different. Give her time. She just needs time. I know how much that may pain you, but you can’t rush healing”

You pulled him into a hug

“And for the record, I know the feeling more than you know” you quietly said “unrequited love”, head pointed at the ground.

Cassian tilted his head down to look at you, his face painted with confusion. You could tell he wanted to know more, but didn’t want to pry too much.

You hesitated before continuing, not sure if you wanted to reveal your closely guarded secret. “I-“ your voice faltering, “I found my mate”. The words seemed to have rushed out of your mouth and tears pricked your eyes as you said that. After months of hiding it, you had finally gotten it off your chest.

Cassian stood shocked, staring at you. “You found your mate? And you didn’t think to tell any of us? How long ago was this”

“I-, I found out who he was around the same time Rhys sent us on that diplomatic mission. And I didn’t tell anyone because he doesn’t even know yet.”

“That was almost 6 months ago, and you didn’t say anything?”.

The tears had started flowing at this point, “I thought he would figure it out. But by the time I realized he wasn’t going to figure it out, it was too late. He had already set his eyes on someone else. And I know I could never compete with Elain, even if I am his mate.” the last part slipped out without you realizing.

“Elain? What does she-“ his eyes widening “Does that mean Az is-“

You slowly nodded, tears welled up, threatening to spill out.

“Oh, mother…”, he pulled you into a tighter hug and that’s when the gates broke. You couldn’t hold back your tears as you sobbed into Cassian's chest, his hand stroking your back.

you must have been there for 15 minutes before you realized the other might start getting suspicious. Regaining your composure, you dried your tears and tried, to the best of your ability, to hide that you had been crying.

Looking back at Cassian, you gave him a slight smile before muttering, “Thank you. I’m sorry for dumping that on you, but please promise me you won’t tell anyone. Please.”

“Of course y/n, and don’t apologize, if it makes you feel better, it helped to take my mind off of Nesta and my own problems, which I desperately needed” he chuckled out.

With the smile still on your face, you linked arms with Cassian before saying, “Oh mother above it’s freezing, let’s get back inside before we turn into popsicles!”

He let out another laugh before the two of you made your way back into the house.

---------------------------------

You walked into the house and your sliver of happiness was crushed as you saw Az and Elain sitting at the table smiling and laughing quietly to themselves. Elain had her sketchbook out, showing Az her plans for the garden.

Your distraught had been clear to anyone who saw your face, and you were too tired to realize you weren’t able to hide it fast enough. Not being able to view the scene anymore, you quickly got up, muttered happy solstice, and grabbed your coat and purse before heading out the door to your apartment.

While walking home, you were consumed by your thoughts. You hated the pangs of jealousy that coursed through you. You often found yourself jealous of her soft spokenness and kindness. You also found yourself jealous of her effortless beauty. It was something that kept you up at night. She was so likeable and easily approachable, something you wished you were.

You were so drowned in your own thoughts that you hadn’t noticed a male following you till it was too late. One of his hands clamped on your mouth while the other grabbed your waist and pushed you into the nearest alleyway.

The male pulled out a knife and your tears started to fall. You were terrified about what he would do to you. This could be the last time you would have seen your family. You were struggling and kicking against him but it was no use. Your senses were groggy from the alcohol and drowsiness.

You had been so stupid to walk home alone at 2 in the morning. No matter how angry you were, you should’ve just stayed at the town house.

Before you could realize what was happening, you felt a sharp pain shoot through your side.

The sound of a clatter.

Receding footsteps.

A crimson stain blooming.

Your body crumpled to the ground and your vision started blacked out. This was it. Nobody could hear you and nobody could save you.

[nebulablakemurphy]

Safe House

Fred Weasley x Muggleborn!Reader

Requested by the lovely @wand3ringr0s3 I hope you like it! 💕

Summary: Y/N goes into hiding with the Weasleys and misses the life you had before.

Request: Hello! I love your fics so much. I saw your thing about comfort fics and honestly I’m really not doing to great recently. If you don’t mind could I request a Fred Weasley x reader fic with mental/emotional comfort. This whole COVID situation has caused me a lot of stress lol. Also family and school ain’t helping. You can decide what the plot is :) Thank you so much <3

Words: 1k+

You can’t recall the hour, it must have been sometime in the early evening. Fred had insisted you two be the last on the dance floor at Bill and Fleur’s wedding. You remember the feeling, the crisp summer air. You remember where you were standing, who you were looking at, the champagne flute you were holding in your hands. The day that life as you knew it, skittered to a halt.

News that the ministry had fallen didn’t come as a total surprise. There’d been corruption within it for years. Mr. Weasley entrusted you with that information, once you were of age. They’d always treated you like family, even after a rather short lived break up between Fred and yourself.

Ron, Harry and Hermione disappeared, into thin air. Death eaters materializing, from all directions. Fred pushing you behind him, prepared for battle. Eventually abandoning the burrow.

You remember the dress, your favorite color; the dress that took his breath away. The material tattered and torn, when you finally reach the designated safe house.

Now, everyday is nearly the same. You wake up, in the bed you share with Fred. He’s either fast asleep, or some nights, you suspect he hasn’t slept at all. If you’re both feeling up to it, you’ll make love. Taking the small bit of comfort the other has to offer. You shower and ready for the day, then head down for breakfast, going through the motions.

The radio stays on, the only assurance that life exists, outside your tiny bubble. Mr. Weasley listens to the static, crackling, voices nonstop. Mrs. Weasley doesn’t like to hear it at all. That was the difference between them, the one who wants to know, and the one who can’t bear to.

Ginny leaves for Hogwarts in the fall, part of you envies her. The larger part is worried, it’s supposed to be safer there. You pray it is.

Your parents are muggles, they don’t understand, not really. You tell yourself it’s best that they don’t. Even when your extended family voices their concern because you ‘dropped out of school.’ In their minds, you’d run off to live with your boyfriend and work a dead end job.

Fred keeps your spirits up, keeps you grounded, centered and safe. Although he’s clearly struggling himself. His mind is beautiful; bursting with ideas, that have no where to go.

You want to help, but it’s impossible when you’re drowning in...this. Whatever this is.

“Good morning.” Fred greets you, snuggling against your back. His cool feet brush over the arch of your own.

“Good morning,” you yawn, lazily toying with the fingers that are draped over your waist.

“Planning on getting up anytime soon, lazy bones?” He hums.

“What’s the point?” You murmur, turning your face farther into the pillow.

“Hey now, don’t go talking like that!” Fred shifts his weight to his elbow. Trying to get a better look at you. “You’ll bruise my ego. Spending time with me is the point.”

“But I can spend time with you here.” You point out.

“The family driving you mental, after all?” He presses a kiss to your shoulder.

“It’s hard to explain.” You purse your lips. “My body is rested, my mind is tired, and it makes me feel like I’m going to come out of my skin.”

Fred nods, “here I thought it was just me.”

“Do you...feel it too?” You wonder, turning over to face him.

“Every bloody day!” His wide eyes find yours. “We’re locked up here, Gin and Ron are out there. Your family’s out there, Hermione, Harry, all of our friends. Diagon Alley‘s been taken over by death eaters, the ministry has it out for muggleborns; and Mum! I love the woman dearly, but all she does nowadays is feed us. I’m trying to keep my figure here.”

“Your figure is fine,” you manage a smile. “Mine on the other hand-“

“You’re beautiful, just as you are,” Fred quiets you. “Truth is, it’s you that’s keeping me going. Not knowing how long we’ll be here is the worst of it. Can’t even count down properly, there’s no end in sight.”

That was part of it, the uncertainty of when it would be safe to leave. The yearning for what was; what might never be. “I just want to wake up the morning before Bill and Fleur’s wedding. I want to have that feeling again. I want to have hope.”

He sighs, deeply, “you will have that feeling again. You’ll be surrounded by your family, all of our friends. The sun will shine so brightly, you’ll need to block it from your eyes. The wind rustles the tree branches, and all the birds fly low, chirping just for you.”

“They better not poo on me.” You crack a grin.

“It’s good luck, sweetheart.” Fred laughs. “I only wish you told me sooner.”

“Seems wrong to complain when people are dying.” You confess, twisting a lock of red hair around your finger.

“It’s never wrong to feel the way you feel. Suffering isn’t a contest,” Fred mutters.

“I couldn’t manage this without you.” You sigh, he always knows what to say.

“You give me too much credit. You can weather any storm, all on your own. You’re resilient and brilliant and strong. When you put your mind to it, anything you want is as good as yours.” His eyes shine brightly, full of renewed enthusiasm.

“I want you.” You still can’t imagine going it alone.

“You have me. So long as I live, it’s me and you.” He kisses the tip of your nose.

“That doesn’t sound half bad.” You grin.

“Half bad?” Fred gawks, rolling you onto your back. “Not half bad?” He repeats, ticking your sides.

“I’m sorry! It sounds good.” You amend, howling with laughter. “So good!”

“That’s what I thought you said.” Fred joins in, you’ve missed that sound.

You stop fighting, when his teasing turns to kisses. Letting Fred bring you to life, the way that only he can. Reminding you what it feels like to be filled with passion. The way things used to be...before. Perhaps he was the only bit of that life you get to keep; somehow that‘s alright. Things can still be good here, if you allow them to be.

Taglist: @bforbroadway @summer-writes @lupins-sweater @chaotic-fae-queen @a-mexican-waffle @obsessedwithrandomthings @siriusly-addicted-to-writing @firewhisky-kisses @haphazardhufflepuff @peachesandpinks @iliveiloveiwrite @the-hufflefluffwriter @masterofthedarkness @fific7 @poppin-potter

Twins Taglist: @susceptible-but-siriusexual​

[velvetkisscsxx]

I wish I were Heather.

Pair: Reader x Draco Malfoy

Summary: How you wish you were Heather.

Warning: light cursing, a LITTLE bit angsty (for me lol)

A/N: i wrote this when i was bored so it’s not as good😔 and this is the “based-off-a-song-or-lyrics” type of imagine if you know what i mean. and if you see me use “oh i...” instead of using words based on third person pov, just imagine like you are saying it in your heart LMAO😩 and i know using “Y/N” is kinda cringy but i have no option left😔 and can you please give me some comments about my writing? i got really anxious when people read them but didn’t say anything about it. thank you and happy reading bubbas <3

Picture is from Pinterest

Playing “Heather” by Conan Gray

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater. You said it looked better on me than it did you. Only if you knew, how much I liked you.

“Here, Y/N. I’m sorry I forgot that you were next to me” Draco passing his green sweater to you. He spilled some tea on you while you guys were eating. Forgetting that you sat next to him. It smelt like him. The smell of comfort. The smell that you have been looking for whenever you feel depressed. The smell of someone that you want when you are touch deprived.

“You know... you should wear my clothes more often. Looking real good in them, eh?” he cocked his eyebrows, laughing at your blushing cheeks. And he left, left with butterflies all over the room. You smiled to yourself, feeling more in love with the Slytherin prince. No one knew... no one knew how much he means the world to you.

But I watch your eyes as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes. Brighter than a blue sky. She’s got you mesmerised while I die.

Heather. The new transfer student. Her beautiful face. Her green eyes that caught everyone’s attention. Her smile, sweeter than honey. Her kindness, is really out of this world. No one can get their eyes off her. How ethereal, and how much of a goddess she is. Everyone loves her.

And so do your favourite blonde boy. He looked amazed.. by her beauty, by her everything. Oh... did I hear my own heart breaking? Shattering in pieces?

It should be me instead. I am the one that should caught his eyes. Why her? God, take my pain away. Take me away.

“Draco!” he didn’t move. Oh...

Why would you ever kiss me? I’m not even half as pretty.

Our tongue fought for dominance. His tongue slides in my mouth. The way our mouth fits each other perfectly. The way we savoured each other in hunger.

Oh you wish this will happen willingly. Oh you wish this will happen when you both are actually in love with each other.

“Draco... how about Heather? You love her, don’t you?” you asked, hoping that his answer will match yours.

“This is a one night thing. Please, Y/N?”.

Oh no. I was blinded, by his love. I melted, under the Slytherin’s boy words.

You gave her your sweater. “It’s just polyester”. “But you like her better” “I wish I were Heather”

You watched her walking through the Great Hall. You noticed how familiar the green sweater that she was wearing. Isn’t that the one that Draco once gave me to wear?

“Draco, isn’t that your sweater?” you looked at him. The way he looked at her. His eyes were full of love.

“Draco?!”

“Oh what, Y/N? Oh yeah. It’s mine. Why?”

“You once gave it to me. I thought...” Man. You have no idea how many times he wanted to break your heart.

“It’s just polyester, Y/N. Don’t be dramatic” he laughed it off. His grey eyes were still on her. Eyeing every inch of her body. Looking at her in awe, wishing she were his.

“But you like her better. I wish I were Heather...” you whispered under your breath, hoping he will understand what you are feeling, hoping he will know how much pain he has caused you.

Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand. Put your arm ‘round her shoulder, now I’m getting colder.

It was a trip to Hogsmeade! You were super excited to spend your time with Draco! Going to Honeydukes or spending some times at The Three Broomsticks. You have been waiting for this day to happen.

You walked to the place where students were told to wait before actually going to Hogsmeade. You eyed every corner of the big hall, trying to look for the Slytherin prince. And you saw him...

“Oh...” you watched them, with Heather, holding their hands together. They were laughing and giggling; like the they are the only person in the world. And he looked as happy as he ever been.

You heart started to shatter in pieces, again. The same pain that you felt when you saw him staring at her started to take over you body. You let out a quiet sobs, just hurting from all the pain.

“Y/N, are you okay?” a ginger-haired boy asked. Ron Weasley. He looked around, trying to find the reason why you were crying. Maybe someone teased or bullied you but his eyes were fixated at the ‘lovely’ couple.

“Come here, love. You can follow me, Harry and Hermione to Hogsmeade! Let’s spend time together, shall we?” Ron dragged you away from the happy ‘couple’ there, not wanting you to be a broken piece of figure during the wonderful day.

“Thanks, Ron”

But how could I hate her? She’s such an angel. But then again, kinda wish she were dead.

“Y/N. Please, stop thinking about them, okay? He’s a prick anyway” Hermione tried to convince you. You played with the ring on your finger.

Yes. He is a prick. But not to me. He was always nice to me.

The hatred that I have seeing them being happy together is out of the world. It should be me instead! It should be me from the first day! Why her out of sudden?!

“Oh hey, Y/N!” you heard a voice that you recognise, the voice that once made you have butterflies in your stomach. You looked to your side, seeing them holding hands together, still.

“Oh busy with them, huh? K then” a sigh came out from your mouth. You know how much he hates the Golden Trio. You once hated them too but they are not bad, at all. They are super nice.

“Oh, darling. I’m so sorry...” Hermione hugging your broken figure, trying to make you feel better. Without you realising, your tears fell down to your cheeks.

Why does love hurt so bad?

“I wish I were Heather”

“Oi, Y/N? Why were you hanging out with them on the Hogsmeade trip?!” Draco pushed you to the wall, jealousy burning through his body.

“What the fuck, Draco?!” Ron shouted from far, running his way to you and Draco, pushing Draco away.

“Shut up, weaselbee. You fucking blood traitor” Draco spat.

“Shut it, Malfoy!” you screamed. Everyone around you guys were shook, their eyes widened.

“You have changed, Y/N! You didn’t like them back then?! And now? You are defending this them? What happened to you? Are you out of your mind?!” Draco gaze turned to you. His focus is all on you now. You can feel his anger burning up in the air. The air was thick and the tension between you and him is making you stressed out.

“Yes, Malfoy! I do hate them but it was when you blinded me with your shits. And what the fuck do you mean by I have changed?! You were the one who have changed now, Malfoy. Your focus are now all on that new student, Heather. And not me. Draco, can’t you see it?! I noticed the way you look at her, Malfoy. Your eyes are always full of love when you are with her. I noticed the way you treated her, Malfoy. I saw everything. You were the one who chose to spend your day at Hogsmeade with her! I didn’t want to ruin your fun, Malfoy. You, now, have the audacity to say shits like?! Can’t you see it? I was in love with you. But I just realised how toxic it is being in love with you! I hurt myself just to have all your attention. I hurt myself so that you can feel the love that you once wished you have. And you said this to me?! Go, Draco. Fucking go. Go have a little life with her. I hate you!” you said, giving zero fucks at everyone that was staring. You walked away, far away from the love of your life.

“Good game, well played, Malfoy” Ron clapped his hands, running to reach you after that.

Draco kicked his bag that was on the floor, knowing that he fucked up so bad. He should have known. He should have seen the way you looked at him. He was blind. Now, all he can do is regretting his decision. Losing you was one of his biggest fear. So, I guess it’s a “check” on his list of fears.

-end-

[farfromsugafanfic]

Heartbreak Weather

Genre: Weatherman!Jin, Metropolis/loosely based off comic books, Rivalry, soft Enemies to Lovers

Pairing: Jin/Male Reader

Warnings: all the sexual tension lol, hurricanes

Synopsis: The rival weatherman at Channel 5 just so happens to be Kim Seokjin who you just so happened to have had a thing with in college. Sort of. When a hurricane brings the two of you back together again, the forecast calls for love and dredged up feelings.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

"Will you please turn that off?" you asked, taking a sip of your coffee. Normally, you took it with a little vanilla-flavored creamer, but much like that morning's coffee, you were bitter.

"Aw, why? Seokjin looks so cute in his turtleneck this morning," one of the writers said, fawning over the Channel 5 weatherman. "Maybe you should start wearing turtlenecks. It might boost our ratings." 

You rolled your eyes as the red light came on indicating that you would soon be on camera. You set your coffee to the side and stepped in front of the green screen. 

"Good morning, Metropolis," you said. "You can expect some light rain on your commute today. It should clear up by lunchtime though and it will be partly cloudy for the rest of the day. You watched as the map viewers saw at home shifted as you shifted the topic. "As you know, a hurricane is forming a few hundred miles off the coast. We are currently predicting landfall early next week. I will be traveling to Diamond Beach as the storm approaches to give you the most recent updates. Thanks for watching Channel 4 News, now here's Andrea with traffic."

The red light switched from you and onto Andrea's camera on the other side of the studio. You let out a sigh and walked back to your desk away from the main set. 

"You went to school with him, right?" the same writer asked, still watching Seokjin on the screen. His station gave him more screentime because he was so well loved in the city, often they pan to him coming back from commercial breaks and whenever there was a view question or poll. 

"Yeah," you said. There was only one university near Metropolis that offered a robust meteorology program and most of the city's weather people came from it. You and Seokjin had gone through together, even graduating at the same ceremony. 

"Wow, was he still so stunning in college? Like, I don't think I could've focused if he was in my classes."

"Depends on who you ask."

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

5 Years Earlier

"Having trouble focusing?" you asked Seokjin as you noticed his dark eyes were no longer looking down at the computer screen. 

"Hmm, it's a bit hard when you look at the screen like that," he said, smirking and turning around to lean against the desk. "Tell me, what's a guy gotta do to get you to look at him like that?"

"Be a warm front." You watched as a warm front moved towards the city while a cold one moved simultaneously from the other direction. 

"What if I'm a hot front?" He turned to face you, his hip still leaning against the desk, but his body was close enough that it brushed yours as he moved. 

"Seokjin, stop." You clicked a few more times and turned to flip through your textbook. "It's a storm for sure. A thunderstorm or tornado. Shit, it could be anything, how are we supposed to figure this out."

"Its the weather, not heart surgery. We can be wrong fifty percent of the time and still good at our job."

"But, if we're wrong fifty percent of the time, we'll fail this class."

Jin sighed and crossed his arms as his eyes lingered down your body. "Listen, Y/N. We both know that you're going to stress about this for twenty minutes and then figure it out like you always do. Now, come on, let's take a break."

"And do what?" you asked, letting out a breath between your teeth, not tearing your eyes away from the screen.

"I don't know. I have a few ideas though" His breath was against your ear and his body heat radiated against your own. 

"Seokjin, this can't happen."

"Why not?"

"Cause I need to focus on school. I'm here on a scholarship. I can't risk distractions."

Jin sighed and looked down at the weather map on the screen. "It's a thunderstorm," he said. "The currents aren't strong enough for a tornado and based on the patterns, its the most logical." 

You quickly wrote down the answer and his reasoning, realizing that he was right. How he surmised the answer so quickly, especially when he was barely paying attention baffled you. 

"All right, now, come on," he said. "I'm taking you out for lunch and you can't deny me that. I know you're hungry."

"Fine," you said, shutting your textbooks and allowing the computer's screensaver to come on.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

Just hours later that same night, you found yourself looking up at the ceiling of Jin's bedroom. Soft cotton sheets wrapped around your torso and they felt softer than even the best sheets you'd ever owned. His shirtless form was turned away from you and you resisted the urge to reach up and run a hand through his dark hair. He'd let it grow long recently, the ends of his hair beginning to grow onto his neck.

"Stop staring at me," Seokjin said, you could hear the smirk in his voice. He turned around to face you. His eyes were calm and soft like the sheets, but you couldn't help but feel the sadness. The knowing.

"How'd you know?" Your voice was small.

"I could feel it. Your eyes hurt, you know?"

You did know. You knew how much it hurt Jin to see your eyes wander down the shape of his torso. That the way you always reached to push his ill-fitting glasses up the bridge of his nose hurt. That knowing he couldn't reach out and sneak his fingertips underneath the hem of your sweater.

"I'm sorry."

"I know, it's okay."

"It's not, Seokjin. We need to move on. Forget about each other. It's best for our futures."

"You know that's not true."

"Seokjin, we both want the same things in life. We'd be competing with each other for every job. We'd rush to get the story before the other. It wouldn't last."

"We don't know that unless we try."

"Seokjin, I don't want to give myself the chance to hate you."

You got up from the bed and buttoned your shirt, pulled on your trousers, and tied your shoes. Seokjin watched you, didn't try to stop you as you headed towards the door. Gripping the doorknob, you walked out and back down to the sidewalk below. 

Following that day, you didn't see Seokjin again. Sure, he still sat a few rows in front of you, he still presented in class, you glanced over his name in the paper when it was announced he was taking over the weather position for Channel 5. You saw him on billboards and on Reddit posts. Yet, you never met allowed your eyes to meet his again. Unless it was through the warm, freshly printed Metropolis Daily.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

Nearly no one was heading east towards Diamond Beach. Westbound traffic was full of cars heading into the city to weather the storm, while eastbound only consisted of a few cars. Mostly media and others who couldn't drop everything and run from the hurricane. 

You could just make out the Channel 5 van ahead of you. Focusing down on your laptop which was tracking the conditions minute by minute, you tried not to focus on the fact you would likely run into Seokjin. 

This certainly wasn't the first time a hurricane or tropical storm caused you and Seokjin to collide like convergent fronts. Every year you found yourself at Diamond Beach trying not to watch his broadcast from a few meters down the beach.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

Two Hours Later

"Hello, this Y/N Y/L/N reporting for Channel 4 news. Hurricane Roke is expected to make landfall later tonight. Most of Diamond Beach and the surrounding areas have been evacuated as Roke is currently a category four storm. I will be monitoring the storm and providing updates through Twitter throughout the night and I'll be back on the beach at 5am. This has been Y/N Y/L/N covering Hurricane Roke. Now, back to the studio."

You felt Jin's eyes on you as you gave your report. He was about two hundred feet down the beach. He wore a similar coat to your own and even with his hood pulled up you could feel the way his eyes cut through you. 

Once the red light on your camera went off, the one on Seokjin's came on and he began his report. It was nearly identical to yours, Seokjin adding his own flair and charm. Like you wished you could. 

Seokjin finished his broadcast and your filmographer began to pack up. "I'll see you bright and early in the morning?" she asked, her hair catching in the wind and obscuring her face. 

You nodded and helped her pack up the camera and other supplies, working quickly to prevent it from getting damaged from the wind or rain. Walking up the beach and back to the hotel felt like it took forever, especially with the heavy filming equipment. 

Your filmographer had already checked in earlier and headed to her room, carrying the camera and filming equipment. You kept the portable meteorological tools, already anxious to set it up in your room. Jin and his filmographer came in just as you got to the front desk. 

Giving them your name, you handed them your ID and the company credit card. The receptionist furrowed her brow and glanced up at you. 

"It looks like your room was accidentally double booked," she said. "I apologize, but due to the current situation, would you mind sharing?"

"Uh, sure, that's no problem. Who am I sharing with?"

The woman squinted at her computer. "Kim Seokjin."

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

"You're not even going to look at me?" Seokjin asked as the two of you set up your computers. He'd let you have the desk while he took the counter of the kitchenette. 

"Not until I get this setup."

Seokjin sighed and pulled out his phone. Service was already finicky, but he managed to pull up Spotify and got music to play. It was soft, as not to disturb your neighbors in the packed hotel. 

You smiled as you heard the familiar tune "Dancing Queen". Jin was a fan of older music and the two of you used to listen to ABBA's Greatest Hits when studying together. 

"You still listen to this?"

"Of course," he said. "It makes me happy."

It made you happy too and when you finished setting up your computer you peaked out the window. The storm was still a couple of hours from landfall, but the trees were already swaying wildly. 

"It's going to be a big one," Jin said, glancing at you and catching your eye. It was the first time you'd truly looked at each other since the day you'd left him on his own. It felt like a lightning bolt skewered you in half. 

"Yeah," you said, sitting down on the bed. "It is."

You traced the seams of the comforter with your index finger. The song switched and this time it was "Can't Help Falling In Love With You". 

Jin finished setting up his computer. Your screen and his looked nearly identical showing a map of the coastline and the storm approaching. He sat down beside you, closer than you would've thought an acquaintance would sit. 

"We should go to bed. Early start tomorrow." His voice commanded you to look at him. "Let's not fight over the bed." Placing down the two extra pillows down the center of the bed, he went to the bathroom to change.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

The storm was in full force when you made your way outside. The four of you: you, Jin, and your two filmographers tried to get onto the beach, but the sand cut your skin. Various debris already littered the beach. Mostly seaweed and tree branches, although you noticed a few shoes and patio furniture from the nearby condos.

"The hotel said we could report from outside," you said. "It'd be safer."

Jin chewed on his cheek and glanced out at the beach. The two filmographers began to set up their cameras and you did you best to ensure your hair didn't fall into your face. You stood away from the wind, finding it hard to breath with it blowing onto your face. 

"Seokjin! Stop!" His filmographer yelled, abandoning his equipment, he rushed towards the other man. You turned to see that Seokjin had taken off towards the beach, seemingly want to report from there no matter the circumstances. 

You looked over at your coworker and she gave you a curt nod, ensuring that she would watch over the equipment. She dragged both cameras inside the lobby one at a time. Giving her an empathetic look, you took off running towards the beach, hoping to catch up with Seokjin before he got entirely soaked. 

When you came to the edge of the beach, you saw that Seokjin was already halfway out, his filmographer not far behind. You sighed and continued out, knowing he was determined to give the report from as close to the middle of the storm as he could.

The filmographer neared the middle of the beach, fearing going any further. When you caught up to him, you stopped to catch your breath, even though it was nearly impossible with the wind. Your breath was swept away as soon as you drew it in. 

"He's crazy," the other man said. "I have no idea why he's doing this." 

"He always has to go the extra mile," you said, rolling your eyes. "Even if it's stupid and dangerous."

Seokjin turned back to look for his camera operator, only to see him halted halfway up the beach. Seokjin was three-quarters of the way up the beach now, reaching dangerously close to the rough tide. He noticed you still running towards him and smiled before a gust of wind knocked him off his feet.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

Your chest constricted when you saw Jin get thrown off his feet. He landed a few feet away in the sand. You ran as quickly as you could, falling to your knees beside him. 

"Are you okay?" you asked, looking him over. 

His eyes looked up at you, obviously taking in your features. Yet, his lips said nothing. 

"You crazy bastard! What the hell were you thinking? Rushing out here like that? You of all people should know how dangerous that is." You could barely catch your breath between words as you placed your hands on his arms to help him sit up. He didn't budge, however, his eyes just locked on your face. 

"What are you doing?" you asked, sighing and dropping your hands from his hands, looking down to meet his eyes for the first time.

He smiled when you finally met his eyes and leaned up to connect his lips to yours. It was brief due to the circumstances, but it felt like lightning coursing through your veins. 

"I ran cause I knew you would chase me."

[uncrownedqueeen]

Alone (Dani x Jamie)

Summary: Dani is a yearning gay mess for Jamie (aren’t we all lol). The fic is set in Bly before it all goes to shit.

Warning: SMUT (smut used to be my shtick around here, it has been ages tho and it was all straight, now i wanted to bless the gays, but this sucks, i honestly need to get my hang of this back again) ANYWAY, IF YOU  ARE NOT  INTO THIS.... just don’t read it mate.

Words: 2,8k

“Are you sure you don’t need me to go with you? If you could wait for just a five minutes, I could go grab my bag and-,”

“I’m positive.” Owen’s interruption struck Dani as a surprise, but as she blinked at him with her eyes wide, she was only met with an assuring smile.

“We’ve done this a plenty of times together, haven’t we?” He checked, hitting the roof of his car to get the kids’ attention as they were playing a tug of war over the new comic issue, which had arrived into their mail box just this morning as a favour from their ever absent uncle.

“Oh, yes indeed. Owen used to take us to the town all the time when Ms Jessel was here,” Flora answered and her smile seemed to falter a little. It was hard to tell whether it was because of the thought of her late babysitter or the fact that Miles won their little fight and was now comfortably seated with the comics opened on his lap.

“I will bring them back in one piece. You needn’t worry. Everything will be alright.” Owen said while putting a box of old children’s clothes into the boot of the car.

Dani shook her head instantly. “No. No. It’s not like that. I know you will take an excellent care of them.” There was not a single ounce of doubt in her body. Since she had arrived here, she got to see how much they all cared for those poor children. “I…. I feel bad putting my work on your shoulders.  You don’t need to do this.”

“I know, but I want to,” Owen insisted. “I think we both need this. You’ve been working every day and I…” He didn’t need to say much more than that. It had been only a couple of days since his mother’s funeral, and Dani had noticed how much time he spent around here lately. She didn’t blame him. She knew how suffocating it could feel to be alone in a space you had once used to share with someone so close. It would do him good to have the children around him, forcing his focus onto something else than all those what ifs that must have been undoubtedly occupying his mind.

“Thank you,” she smiled at him in the end, nodding her head just a little, letting him know that she understood. “It will be nice to have a day off for once.”

 There was a part of her which felt bad about this. If it wasn’t for the difficult time Owen was just going through, she wouldn’t be able to make her way down towards the greenhouse and spend more than a couple of minutes here and there during the day with her. Dani couldn’t help but feel silly when noticing the excited bounce in her step. Was this how it felt to truly like someone? Was this how Eddie felt when approaching her?

Thankfully enough, she didn’t get to get too deep into this since the sight that appeared in front of her as she entered the greenhouse erased any cohesive thoughts she could have.

“Oh god,” she stammered, her eyes stuck on Jamie’s half-naked figure in the corner.

“Nope. I’m afraid it’s just me,” Jamie chuckled, apparently under no stress that Dani walked in on her while she was changing her clothes. In fact, Dani could swear that there was a smug smirk playing on her lips.

It was only then that she pulled herself together and hurriedly glanced away. “What are you doing?” she exclaimed, carefully examining one of the hanging plants next to her.

“Mining gold, obviously. What does it look like I’m doing?” Dani rolled her eyes at the sarcasm and looked over to Jamie again. “I had to run some errands before coming here so…,” Jamie explained, motioning her hand to her work overalls and the small pile of regular clothes on the side. 

“I heard some noise from the driveway. Is everything all right?” She asked, already moving around and setting the things she had just brought to their proper places.

Dani’s eyes followed her every step, she moved with such a confidence and ease. She knew this place and everything inside it like the back of her hand. Dani could spend hours sitting here and watching her do her thing.“Huh?” Dani’s eyebrows shot up when Jamie suddenly stopped in her tracks and sent her a curious look.

“I asked you what’s going on. I heard a car outside,” Jamie tried again and then her voice picked up a rather playful, almost teasing tone.  “You seemed to have frozen for a little while. You know, I would have understood this if I was still half-naked but…”

“The kids are gone,” Dani blurted out, smiling a bit. “Hannah asked Owen to take some things to the charity shop in town, and he took Miles and Flora with him. They’re going to stop at the bookstore, get some ice scream.” Her voice was cheerful, and her feet brought her closer to Jamie, who had just got back to putting things in order.

“Oi! That’s sweet. What you gonna do?”

“Well, I came here…” She took a step closer and got in Jamie’s way. If anyone else had tried to do this, especially when her arms were full with the huge bag of the soil conditioner, they would most probably got cussed off. That rule did not apply to Dani though, and they both knew that. “I thought we could talk,” Dani added with a wide, innocent smile which Jamie naturally had to mirror to some extent.

The smile grew as Dani took the bag from her, doing her best not to show the surprise and the struggle with the weight while she put it to the side.

“Where’s Hannah?” Jamie asked to which Dani only shrugged her shoulders.

“Haven’t seen her since breakfast, where she prepared the stuff for Owen to take away. I’m not sure what’s been keeping her so busy lately, but I can barely see her when the kids aren’t around.” It wasn’t clear who made the first move, but soon their hands were locked together, and they were pulling each other close.

“So we are completely alone,” Jamie concluded, already leaning her head to kiss her. It was difficult for them not to smile into the kiss because honestly, it’s been a while ever since either of them has felt even remotely this happy. If someone asked Dani, she wasn’t sure if she ever felt even just a pinch of this excitement. Her heart was pounding so fast it could have easily jumped out of her chest and she couldn’t get enough of the sweet taste of Jamie’s lips.

“You didn’t really come to talk, did ya?” She exposed her amusedly in the middle of the kiss.

“I mean… We can talk! But I just thought…,” her voice seemed to shake not only due to the lack of oxygen.

“How about you just show me instead?” Jamie interrupted her nervous stammering and stole yet another kiss from her.

Dani didn’t reply. How could she when she could already feel herself melt into the kiss? She let go of Jamie’s hands and placed hers on the gentle curves of Jamie’s hips, making her take a few steps back until her back was pressed against one of the glass walls. Their mouths and tongues continued to taste each other, savouring every moment while Dani’s hand crept up Jamie’s side until it got all the way up to her breast. She pulled away just enough to look into the warm brown eyes that were staring up at her. She said nothing, but Jamie read the question in her expression correctly and nodded her head ever so slightly, encouraging Dani to unbutton the buttons on her overalls. A fond smile was playing on her lips as she watched her trembling fingers work. She definitely didn’t make it any easier for her once she leaned her head and traced her lips over the soft skin on Dani’s neck.  Feeling Dani’s cold fingers move lightly over her chest sent shivers down her spine. Dani’s pull on the fabric of her clothes made Jamie lose her grip on her behind, and she helped Dani with pulling down the sleeves of her overalls.

The two smiled at each other, their cheeks flushed. Not only due to the excitement but also because of the heat they were both feeling now. Jamie slid her hands under Dani’s sweater before her head leaned back, hitting the windowpane as her eyelids fluttered close. Dani’s hands were keeping a good hold on her waist. Almost as if she was afraid that Jamie was going to go away. There was nothing that could make her do that, though. Never, not even in her craziest dream, she had allowed herself to fantasise about feeling the au pair’s lips on her body the way she got to experience now. Feeling her tongue soothe the small marks Dani left on her skin, an intimate path formed by small nibbles and bruises caused by her sucking on the skin too hard, which curved from the side of her neck all the way to her bra. Her hot breath tickled her, luring a quiet giggle from her chest.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” she was quick to say as Dani looked up to her face and kissed all the other potential excuses away from her lips.

“I haven’t been able to think about much else ever since then,” Dani admitted in a hushed voice, making Jamie’s lips curl up into a smirk.

There was no room for her to come up with any teasing remarks, though, since one of Dani’s hands slid down her stomach and disappeared under her underwear. Her touch was gentle and exploring for a while before it settled on the one particular spot. The gasp which had escaped Jamie’s lungs provided Dani with all the confidence she was possibly lacking. Even with how unexperienced she was in this type of lovemaking; she had never felt nervous or scared.

Everything about this, the sweet scent of another girl’s body right under her nose, the warmth and softness of those curves in her hands, the sound of moans and shaky breaths next to her ear, the heat and wetness around her fingers… It felt good. Great was actually a more accurate way to describe it. Everything about this felt absolutely right. Jamie’s chest was rising heavily as Dani continued to stroke her clit in swift circular motions and she used her hands to cup Dani’s face, bringing her up so she could kiss her and use her to muffle the whimpers she wasn’t able to hold in for much longer. They were making out before, during, and even after the orgasm had taken over her body and made her weak on her feet.

“I was hoping to hear you moan,” Dani confessed against Jamie’s lips when she pulled away a little to catch some breath. Jamie’s eyes opened to catch the sight of her as she felt her hand slip push further in the between her thighs. “We are alone now…,” she reminded.

A moment later, Dani pressed her index and middle finger against her entrance. She kept her eyes locked as she guided them inside. The way Jamie’s expression changed with every small move of her fingers inside her was a magnificent sight for sore eyes. As soon as the two fingers inside her curled slightly, Dani got what she came for.

She would have never guessed that bringing pleasure to someone else could make her own body feel so good. She never wanted for this to stop. Dani had to release her other hand from Jamie’s firm hold so she could push the sporty bra she was wearing down a bit. She closed her lips around her nipple and then flicked her tongue over it just when the fingers she had buried deep inside her picked up their pace. Dani looked up, satisfied to see the blissful frustration in Jamie’s face as she tried her best to bring her over the edge once again.

This time there would be nothing keeping her from vocally expressing herself. All the breathless profanities, moans and Deity’s names coming all at once. Just like Jamie did.

“You’re going to be the death of me, I swear,” Jamie stated once she got her rapid breathing under control.  

“Well, I definitely hope you won’t. That would be an awful shame.” Dani smiled, stroking her bright pink cheek.

“Not yet. Don’t worry,” she assured her playfully, her hands settled on her sides. They slid down to her thighs so they could slip under the fabric of her skirt. She pushed against her, nodding her head towards the counter beside to let her know what her plans were.

Considering how open she had been only a couple of minutes ago, it was adorable how flustered Dani suddenly seemed when realising what was going to come next.

“What? Don’t tell me you did not think of this.” Jamie didn’t even try to hide her amusement, but she did attempt to tone it down at least.

“Of course, I did…,” she scoffed and attempted to smooth her skirt, almost as if she didn’t realise that Jamie’s hands were right under it.

“Then you know that there’s not gonna be much of a use for this.” Dani let her hands fall to her sides again and gulped at the feel of her underwear being pulled down. Jamie didn’t let it fall drop to the floor. She helped Dani to get out of it and pushed the thin piece of fabric into one of her pockets.

She didn’t get back up to her eye level, instead she made herself comfortable down on her knees. The hem of Dani’s skirt got promptly lifted to her waist, leaving the lower part of her body fully exposed. Dani could just barely feel Jamie’s lips on her thighs with how light their touch was in the beginning. She kissed every inch of her skin while her hands stroked small circles on the sides of her hips. Her body shivered once Jamie’s tongue paid extra attention to the insides of her thighs and her mouth sucked on the sensitive skin. She had to remind herself to breathe as she moved closer to her core.

What a great disappointment it was when instead of dragging her tongue over her heat, Jamie planted a couple of sweet kisses right above it. The annoyed sigh might have left Dani’s mouth without her realisation, but it did not slip Jamie’s attention, making her smile into Dani’s lap. To get back onto her good side, Jamie traced the wet trail paved by her kisses on Dani’s thigh until finally reaching her wet folds. She glanced up to check on her as she drew her hand over her slit and then pushed her middle finger inside. Her ring finger was soon to follow, this sensation accompanied by the non-stopping shower of kisses near her hipbone.

No one, except the two of them, would get to learn about the love-marks Jamie left on her skin while she moaned above her oh so sweetly. The two fingers kept pressing against her insides in a perfect rhythm, making her entire body feel on fire. Dani’s thighs tried to clench together in a reaction to the approaching orgasm but Jamie managed to keep her in place, choosing this moment, out of all them, to be the right one where she would move her mouth to Dani’s clit. This was the last push she needed to come undone.

Words couldn’t describe how content she was when Jamie’s face stayed right there between her legs, making the bliss last even longer. Dani brushed the dark hair away from her delicate face before opening her legs wider and bashfully, trying to guide Jamie’s head to move in the way she wanted. Jamie was more than happy to oblige, enjoying the cute moans Dani was making while she was eating her out. It was too easy to get herself lost in the pleasure, and her hips seemed to grind against Jamie automatically. However, her mind was in way too much of a haze for her to be embarrassed and worry that this was not the way how she was raised to behave. There were only two things she could focus on.

Ultimate, indescribable joy and Jamie. Her eyes remained stuck on her, even as her fingers curled and her breath got stuck in her throat, even as Jamie looked up at her and their eyes met. She got to see her while she cleaned her up, peppered her inner thighs and her lap with sweet, caring kisses before standing up, her face all flushed but smiling from ear to ear.

“Got anything else you want to talk about, Poppins?”

[im-whatchamccallit]

Risking It//Mark Tuan (Got7)

Part 2|Masterlist|Rules

Request: YAY I’M SO EXCITED THAT YOU’RE BACK!! I hope you’ve been well (: I’ve missed you and your writing! May I request a college boyfriend Mark Tuan story! You can write it about whatever you want I just love the idea of Mark as a college boyfriend he gives me those vibes. Please make it fluffy and smutty if you’re feeling adventurous ;) Hahaha thank you so much! Have a wonderful day 😁😁😁

Pairing: Mark Tuan x Reader

Genre: College! AU, fluff but mostly smut (sorry, the hoe in me took over)

Warnings: sexual content (oral sex, fingering, mentions of overstimulation), kinda poorly written because I’m scatterbrained and couldn’t find a perfect concept lol

Words: 3.9k

You bit your bottom lip as you tried to focus on what your professor was saying, writing notes from the words she spoke in fear it’d be on a future pop quiz, but you couldn’t focus with the pair of eyes boring into you. You were trying to ignore Mark but he refused to look away, wanting you to look at him as he sat by idly at your teacher’s desk.

You weren’t sure what to expect when Mark was announced as the TA for your class, but you didn’t expect him to be, well, himself. You figured he’d try to be professional and fair, giving everyone equal amounts of attention and help whenever necessary, instead he’d always find his way to you, cracking jokes and even flirting. You were doing extremely well in this course, not needing the extra help which upset him a bit, so during times when he couldn’t talk to you up close, or text you in case your teacher saw, he’d stare, hoping to have a silent conversation with you to ease his clingy nature. But you weren’t catching on, his lips threatening to form a pout as he looked away.

“Mark.” His head snapped upwards as your professor called him, his body standing as he waited for her instructions.

“Can you hand out the graded test please? They’re on the corner of my desk.” He nodded, mentally cheering as he prepared himself to speak to you for the first time today.

Despite your professor speaking, you tuned her out, watching Mark anxiously as he went to each person, congratulating those that did well and telling others they can retake the test another day to salvage their grades. You were nervous. You weren’t as confident in this test as you were others and the idea of getting anything less than a 100 made you want to cry. You couldn’t even find ease in the way Mark was approaching you, the smile on his face might be because you did well or because he just wanted your attention, your mind screaming for it to be the former.

Mark gently handed you the booklet like test, your eyes immediately landing on the 98 that sat on the top of the front page, the pressured feeling in your chest not leaving even as an audible sigh left your lips while his hand rested on your head, causing your eyes to meet his.

“Good job.” You couldn’t help but give a small smile, finally giving him what he’s been wanting to see all day.

“Professor Ahn,” One girl, Yeeun, spoke up, everyone’s attention falling to her as she stood.

“Considering your TA is the one who graded the test, and is also (Y/n)’s boyfriend, don’t you think there’s a bit of bias on his part?”

The way she looked over at the both of you as if she had won some battle didn’t sit right with you, your eyes narrowing into a glare while Mark only smirked, continuing passing out the test as your professor sighed heavily.

“Ms. Shin, Mr. Tuan made me aware of his relationship with Ms. (Y/L/N) the day he arrived, which is why I personally grade all her test myself. In other words, the score (Y/n) received is not only valid but the only one to reach over 90% in this class, so I suggest you focus on your own grades instead of worrying about those two.” Mark wanted to laugh at the way she sat down in such a defeated state, scowling at the 73 on the paper as if it were a nuisance.

Professor Ahn repeated Mark’s words, reminding everyone that retakes would happen for the next two days during her free periods and after school before officially dismissing everyone, your body moving a bit slower than everyone else so you were left behind, Professor Ahn heading into her personal office just behind her desk while you approached Mark, his face in a cute pout.

“You didn’t look at me today.”

“I was nervous.” You responded, reaching to cup his face before bringing him into a soft kiss, pulling away before he could take it any further.

“What’s your next class?” He asked, reaching for your hand to lead you out of the room.

“I’m actually done for the day. And, I know you’re free too, so I figured we could just hang out.” The look you gave was hinting to something that could only spell trouble, yet he was hoping it was exactly what he was thinking, his lips forming a smirk as he stepped closer to you.

“Alright, and just where are we heading exactly?”

“I’ll give you a hint; we’ll be at my place, in my room, on a desk.” He didn’t waste a second dragging you down the busy halls, that hint more than clear for him to understand.

Yet he didn’t understand. Well, it was more like you tricked him.

By ‘on a desk’, he was hoping for something with you laid out beneath him with a lot less clothing involved and more x-rated touching. Instead, you were still in the baby pink high waist skirt and white sweater you wore for class earlier, the once seemingly normal and innocent outfit driving him crazy now, the only touching he received were pokes to the temple of his head whenever he read a question from your graded test unenthusiastically, obviously bummed by how the situation turned out. To think not scoring a perfect 100 would bother you so much that you’d make him study with you until you were ready to retake the test.

“Come on, the faster we do this, the faster I can learn what I got wrong.”

“(Y/n), you don’t need to retake the test. You have the highest score of your class, professor Ahn said so.”

“Yeah but what if someone retakes it and does better than me?”

Mark sighed, knowing how stubborn you were when it came to your grades, but he didn’t like the competitive side of you that came with it. He admired your persistence, but watching you drive yourself crazy over something so miniscule was heartbreaking, like when your calculus 3 teacher refused to let you retake his quiz and you couldn’t do anything but cry for days because that was your hardest class and you knew you could do better. But how could he force you out of a habit that he admittedly fell in love with? It was a complete contradiction.

“(Y/n),” you shifted your gaze from the notes and test in front of you to look at him.

“What are three cyanobacterial species?” Your eyes wandered from him, so many words crossed your mind, trying to find the right answers to the sudden question.

“Nostoc commune, nostoc punctiforme, and nodularia spumigena… I think.” You said slowly, watching Mark pull the packet open and flip to the third page, showing you the exact question he asked, an ‘X’ right next to your answer.

“The reason you didn’t get a perfect score is because you missed this one question. You didn’t get it right because you’re always freaking out. But now that you know the answer, and know that you always panic at the idea of not doing well; do you think it’s wise to retake the test and aim for a 100, only to possibly freak out again and end up with the same score or worse?”

You wanted to argue with his logic but it was reasonable, and he was right. You were freaking out for nothing and were honestly surprised you hadn’t dropped dead from all the stress you had, wanting to laugh at how ridiculous you’d been. Mark noticed you staring off into space, probably still scolding yourself like you always do. He didn’t mean to kill your confidence, but what else could he do to make you snap out of your “no mistakes allowed” tunnel vision?

“Baby,” He called, your eyes finding him once more, noticing his arms open and waiting for you to settle into his lap, which you did without hesitation, his hands cupping your face so you couldn’t look away.

“I know you’re smart, and that you could get a perfect score if you tried harder, but you can’t always push yourself like this. It’s okay to not be the best and, sometimes, you’ll learn there are people out there that are the best of the best and you can’t compare.” He said, your lips curling upwards as you released a giggle.

“That was such a backhand compliment.” His laughter mixed with your own, hands easing from your face into your hair.

“Yeah, I could’ve worded that better, but you need to relax. Stressing yourself out won’t make you perfect. Okay?”

You rolled your eyes, feeling a little disparaged but knowing he meant well, truly worried for you and rightfully so. You were a hard ass, you knew that and just couldn’t help it. Maybe that’s why you loved Mark, he was responsible yet relaxed. He had it all figured out and, even when he didn’t, he was nonchalant until he did. It was one of the traits you wish you could take from him and have for yourself.

“Okay, then show me what I should do to relax.” You said, a smirk similar to the one you gave earlier on your lips, his finger darting out to poke you in the center of your forehead, a stern look on his face.

“I should just leave and make you take a nap for tricking me into studying with you. But I have manners, so get on the bed.”

You eagerly climbed out of his lap and followed his orders, removing your top on your way there, not wanting to waste any more time. As you watched him approach you with his eyes taking you in hungrily, you couldn’t help but think of the position you were in.

He’d be busy for the next two days helping students from Professor Ahn’s four classes retake their test. Her other three classes held 60 or so students, a little over double the amount of your class, and the likelihood of everyone from the other classes failing was damn near impossible, but her course was hard so it’s a good possibility almost half the class would want a retake, and thinking of potential students from your own class doing the same, that’d mean Mark and Professor Ahn would have roughly 110 test to grade by the end of the two days. Even if they split the grading load in half, Mark would be busy days later helping her while simultaneously maintaining his own grades, meaning the two day period you thought nothing of would really be four to five days of barely being together, so you were going to bask in this moment.

“(Y/n/n),” Mark called, gaining your attention.

Your eyes darted towards him and noticed he was between your legs, face close to your heat that was now exposed as he tossed your panties away not too long ago, your skirt bunched around your waist as he patiently waited for you to answer, hoping you weren’t uncomfortable and suddenly having second thoughts.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. I just realized it’ll be a few days before we can be like this again.” You admitted, unconsciously placing your hand in his hair and stroking it softly. It was still pretty soft despite bleaching and dying it so many times.

“Think about it this way,” He started, placing a small kiss to your inner thigh, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you tried to resist the urge to close them, his lips ticking your skin as he continued moving closer to your core.

“Everything I do today is a precursor for the next time I come over.”

You wanted to make a snide remark to keep your banter going, but the way his lips finally connected with your folds made your head spin, any thoughts you had were gone as the foreign yet very familiar and dearly missed pleasure hit you. You can’t remember the last time Mark went down on you, your schedules leaving the both of you available for only quickies in unoccupied classrooms just to make it to your next class on time. But taking the time to go slow and actually savor the pleasure was making the experience a million times better, any memory you had of his tongue being buried within you was replaced with this moment, his tongue taking it’s time to taste you as if you were the best meal in the world.

“Mark,” You breathed out, his head moving back just slightly so his tongue was visible, your eyes locked on the way he teasingly flicked it around your opening while staring straight at you, expertly dragging the pink muscle up to your clit before covering it completely with his lips sucking harshly so that you cried out.

He knew exactly what he was doing and what buttons to push, taking two fingers and rubbing them along your slit to lubricate them before easily sliding them inside, your body nearly jumping away at the feeling. He felt you contract around him, surprised that you might already be so close considering he just started, but that only encouraged him more, his mind running with the thoughts of exactly how long he could make this last and how cute you’d be once you were completely spent from him actions.

You were gripping onto Mark’s hair desperately as your other hand held onto your pillow for dear life, your back arching at the familiar motions of his fingers, simultaneously thrusting into you while drumming against your g-spot, sending small waves of gratification through you. Those little jolts were enough to distract you from Mark moving up your body, kissing from your belly button to your bra cladded breast, his free hand slipping beneath it easily to toy with your nipples, already so hard despite the fact he had only begun stimulating them.

You struggled to crack your eyes open, looking at the man above you as a breathy whine interrupted your seemingly endless moans. His eyes were concentrating on each contorted muscle of your face before finding your eyes, smiling softly at you as if he wasn’t pinching and rubbing at your breast while using his fingers to scissor your pussy. Any words you wanted to say came out almost like squeaks, your hands speaking for you as they moved to his chest, slowly trailing down until they reached the slowly growing, but clearly there, bulge in his black jeans.

He watched in amusement as you impatiently undid his pants, tapping his thumb on your clit to watch you freeze momentarily in an attempt to regain your composure. He was like a sadist but the humane kind. Mark couldn’t help the groan he let out once your hand slipped into his boxers, wasting no time stroking his member at the same pace his fingers moved into you, his eyes squeezing shut as his face dipped into your neck, teeth sinking into your shoulder to control himself from going any further. The juices you let out were making such lewd sounds, and the harder his thumb rubbed against the sensitive nerves just above your entrance, the more your hips rolled into his hands and your walls tightened around him, actual words finally leaving you as you let out a soft ‘please’. It was all becoming too much for him, but he didn’t want to give in just yet.

“Mark,” You called out to him again, his head finally lifting to look at your face. Even though your eyes could barely stay open, your lips trembling as you whimpered pathetically and your breathing labored, you looked amazing.

“What’s wrong?” He asked gently, slowly bringing his fingers to a stop to allow you to speak, the bubble of pleasure you felt fading away.

“I want more. Please.” You continued to pump his cock from inside his briefs, the urge to fuck himself into your hand hard to ignore as your thumb played with the beads of precum leaking from his tip, your hand working faster knowing he was so close to giving you what you wanted.

Instead, he reached between your bodies to grab your wrist, reluctantly pulling it away from his throbbing and needy member and bringing it up to examine it, precum visibly sticking to your thumb and palm.

“I’ll give you everything you want, but you have to be patient.” He warned you, reaching for the hand resting on his chest to bring them above your head, holding them in place so that he could get back to his main objective.

You wanted to scream as he began to move his fingers again, not starting off slow like he usually would but going knuckles deep, his thumb now finding a good pace on your clit as well. It was clear he was trying to get you off first. It wasn’t uncommon for him to let you get your release before him, but this felt different, weird even. He was rough but precise, your g-spot being hit no matter how deep and fast his appendages plunged into you. And the pressure on your clit wasn’t helping either, only making the strange feeling increase.

Your back arched as you moaned loudly, unsure if your roommate was even home but you couldn’t care less about that now, your legs kicking against the bed as if you wanted to escape the way his hand was fucking you but so curious where this feeling was leading and just how good it’d feel. Mark’s cock twitched at the sight of you, every time your hips lifted from the bed he’d see a wet spot forming from the juices dripping from your cunt and his hand, making it obvious that you came already but he wanted to see you orgasm, knowing you were close as you incoherently cried out, begging for him as your thighs clenched together in an attempt to slow him down even though you didn’t want him to stop.

“Look at me.” He said in a soft voice yet stern enough to remind you it was a demand.

You shyly faced him, vision hazy as you focused on his features. You felt his hand leave your wrist before creeping down to comb through your hair, easing to the back of your head and pulling you into him, bringing your lips to his to capture every sound you made. If it wasn’t the way his hand continued to assault your core as it convulsed violently, or the way his teeth nipped at your bottom lip in the middle of your heated make out session, or even the way he pulled away to speak filthy words to you to encourage your release, the thin line of self-control and submission you were walking was gone, your body falling fast and hard into the latter.

Mark’s fingers dug into your scalp to hold you in place, a few moans escaping his throat as you clenched around his digits, pleasured cries falling into his mouth as you no longer focused on your kiss. Your lower half jerked almost painfully, his fingers slowly moving into you to draw out your release, his face pulling away as he felt a bead of your orgasm rolling down his fingers and palm and onto his wrist, the once small wet spot now a puddle beneath your body, your fluids leaving the room and sheets a distinctly sweet smell.

You shut your eyes in relief as Mark finally pulled his hand away, trying to catch your breath as he moved from the bed. You could feel the stickiness on you, your thighs closing to keep the cool air from hitting your sensitive core, the sound of your skin pulling from the sheets making you cringe. No wonder it felt so weird, you squirted for the first time ever and, now, your mattress was ruined. You were contemplating if you should just rest now in your own filthy release or properly clean everything, not having time to form an answer as Mark climbed above you, instantly connecting his lips to the shell of your ear and your neck. You turned to look at him, noticing his pants and boxers were off, his rock hard dick on display between your bodies.

“W-wait, I don’t think I can do that again.” You admitted, your face hot at the thought of being overstimulated, Mark’s gaze meeting yours. His eyes were so dark and clouded, your core unwillingly pulsating again with arousal despite your words.

“If you need me to stop, I’ll stop. I did promise to give you whatever you want earlier.”

The room fell silent as he waited for your answer, your eyes looking away in embarrassment as you opened your legs for him, cursing yourself for being so needy despite what happened only a few seconds ago. Mark smirked and placed a gentle kiss to your cheek, easing his body forward until he was poking at your entrance, preparing to thrust into you but not before he spoke in a definite tone.

“I’m going to make sure you’re too tired to think about the retest and, if I even see you going to take it, we’ll do this all over again.”

And it was a promise. You knew Mark never bluffed, especially when it came to sexual rewards and punishments, so you could do nothing but take those words to heart. Although the next day, after dragging your sore body from the soaked bed you both were too exhausted to flip, and getting ready as normal, you crept your way towards Professor Ahn’s class.

It was her second free period of the day and currently Mark’s accounting class, meaning there would be fewer students there for the retest and he would be out of sight and out of mind. You slowly crept into her classroom, looking to the twelve or so students working silently, Professor Ahn nowhere to be found.

You knew she’d never leave a class unsupervised during a test, so she was most likely watching from her office to see who would or wouldn’t cheat. She was clever that way so it only made sense.

You eagerly headed to the door, knocking gently before hearing an uninterested ‘enter’.

“Sorry for disturbing you Professor Ahn, but I was hoping I could do the retest to-“ You froze.

Professor Ahn and Mark’s eyes left the test and answer sheets around them to stare at you. During her first free period, over sixty students came, leaving your professor overwhelmed at how much grading she’d have to do if she waited until the last minute, her first instinct was to call her TA in for help which he easily accepted, knowing that missing one class wouldn’t hurt him. So the two sat in the once comfortable silence, grading roughly thirty test each. You thought you had it all figured out but didn’t plan for a random setback like this, and neither did Mark, his eyes boring into yours despite you trying to avoid his gaze.

“You were planning to do the retest, (Y/n)?” Professor Ahn spoke up, dropping her red pen and searching for a clean copy of the test from the folder next to her, your eyes widening as you frantically shook your head.

“No! No, it was nothing. I’m sorry for stopping by like this.” You said, preparing to leave but the call of your name from an eerily calm source made you stop, an inaudible whimper leaving you as you turned back to your boyfriend, a seemingly sweet but truly sinister smile on his lips.

“I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

You were fucked, pun intended.

[emptypringlescanister]

New Perspective: Chapter 1

I told y’all I was gonna post more lol.

Tom Nook x Reader

Slow Burn

Warnings: Spoilers for Animal Crossing: New Horizons

Words: 2.7K

Links: Prologue  -  Chapter 1 (You are here)  -  Chapter 2  -  Chapter 3

Chapter 1

             Dreams could be thought of as like an escape from reality, right?  Well then for you, it must be the complete opposite. Stuck in a never-ending loop of trauma really puts a damper on the whole escape thing.

“We’re here! We’re here!” the cries from the small tanuki children roused you from your slumber with a start. Confused with post awakening haze, you looked around the cabin of the plane you were in to see the kids with their faces pressed to the window. Wiping the drool from your face scratches against your skin as you sit up and stretch. “Wake up!” Tommy nudges you excitedly, shy demeanor shoved aside to make way for enthusiasm. “Come look! It’s our new home.”

           You smile, their eagerness bleeding into your own as you look out the window as well. Green stretches out, blending in with the pure blue of the ocean below. Fish jump out of the water, speckles of light flying off and glinting in the air. Your gaze fixates upon a small dock breaching out into the ocean from a sandy beach. “Wow” you mutter under your breath.

           The speaker in the cabin crackles to life. “Attention passengers, this is Captain Wilbur of Dodo Airlines speaking. Dodo Tower has just informed us that we are due for touchdown November Oscar Whisker, so sit down and buckle up cause this Dodo is coming in for landing!”

           Landing was a bit of a bumpy affair, so once the light for the seat belts turned off, both Timmy and Tommy raced out the doors, eager to leave the cramped interior. Resigning yourself to the fate of being the bag carrier, you turned to get your luggage. You were stopped though, as the aviator-wearing pilot entered the cabin. “No need to do that now! My brother Orville will be taking your luggage to the square in just a bit. No need to stress.” Grabbing your one backpack, you thanked him and exited the plane as well. Passing briefly through the airport lobby, you stepped out into the brightness towards your new home.

           Timmy and Tommy were standing on the dock, Timmy chatting eagerly to two others while Tommy took his place slightly behind him. Back to his shy ways, you noted to yourself. Turning your attention to the two new faces, you are greeted with a nice-looking penguin talking with Timmy, and on another part of the deck, ignoring everyone, was a hamster lifting weights. Tommy notices your approach and nudges his brother, who turns, abruptly ending his conversation with the penguin. “You’re here!” He turns to address everyone on the dock, his helpful customer service springing into his voice and presence. “Now, I know you must be incredibly excited to explore your new island home, but I have one small request.”

Tommy steps to stand beside him. His small voice loudening briefly, he addresses you all as well. “Would you please join us for a short orientation in the nearby plaza? Our-“

Their voices join together, “-fearless leader,-“

“-is giving a presentation, so I’d hate for everyone to miss it.” Timmy finishes, clasping his hands together. “We’re heading there right now so feel free to follow us!”

           They take off , Timmy in the lead, Tommy’s paw wrapped firmly in his as they run towards the middle of the island. Looking over at the others, you all shrug and follow the children who had disappeared over the hill. Lagging behind the others, you walk more slowly, taking in the views from all around you. Soft green grass tickles your ankles as you walk, a light breeze swaying though the trees. Some of them even bear fruit, you notice. They look like peaches, but this is a new land, so it could be some fruit that just looks like peaches. Twigs litter the ground along with copious amounts of floral weeds. You turn in a small circle, taking everything in. It was so... fresh. So pure. It seemed like a new beginning. A new horizon if you will.

           Cresting the hill, you come upon a sandy area, occupied by the two newcomers, Timmy and Tommy, and an older tanuki man. A tanuki in a yellow sweater and aqua jacket. ‘Dear lord,’ you think to yourself. ‘Did he pick out his wardrobe blind?’ Despite his odd clothing choices, you study him a little closer. He has vaguely the same markings as the kids, which leads you to believe that he may be related to them in some way. He had a weighted figure, more of a dad-bod, but his eyes were really the factor that drew you in. Tired blue eyes locked onto yours as you entered the area, and your breath stopped. His gaze seemed to rake you up and down, and you bless your luck for a day that was hot so that you could blame the blush staining your face on the heat.

           “Alright is that everyone? Let’s see,” He says, his rich voice speaking out. “Is Flo here?” The penguin raises her flipper and smiles. “and Hamlet?” The hamster pauses in his weightlifting and waves over at him. “Good good. Let’s see,” He gazes at the paper a moment before his gaze lifts to yours. “And you must be _____.” Pointedly ignoring the blush on your face, you wave. “That’s me,” you confirm. He smiles, and oh lord you see the way his eyes crinkle at the corners and your heart thuds against your chest.

           “Welcome everyone!” His voice snaps you out of your trance and you force yourself to pay attention. “Welcome to your new island. My name is Tom Nook, and I’m the founder and president of Nook Inc. Yes yes!”

           “Today is the first day of your new life on this pristine, lovely island. So, congratulations! And this is a package deal, hm? As such, Nook Inc. staff will always be here to support you and ensure your comfort and safety. But first things first, yes? I’d like each of you to choose a spot of your own. It’s the first step to putting down some real roots! I’d like you to dream big – I do have certain connections in construction and real estate, and…” Timmy and Tommy nudge him at the same time, startling him from his rambling. You giggle as he sheepishly rubs his head.

           “Ah, but I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s just get started with a simple tent, shall we? Please collect a tent from either Timmy or Tommy and then choose a spot to place it.” He finishes with a smile, stepping back to allow the boys to pass out the tents. They run up to you afterwards, Tommy handing you your tent as Timmy eagerly asks you about the island. After spending a few minutes with them, they wave you off with your tent. Unbeknownst to you, your interaction with the boys are watched by the older tanuki, who smiles at the sight of them acting so happy with you.

           You had only been walking for a few minutes through the trees before you came to a small clearing flanked by a river. Sunlight filtered in through the leaves on the tree, casting a glow onto the spot. ‘This is definitely it...’ you think to yourself. Setting up your text requires an extra level of brainpower that currently seems inaccessible to you, and you are soon sitting on the ground fuming at your failed attempt to put together your temporary home. “This sucks!” You groan out, tossing a pole to the side.

           My my, it would seem like you’re having a bit of trouble!” An undignified squeal leaves you as you’re started by a voice from behind you. Scrambling up and turning, you see Tom Nook standing there, hands in his jacket pockets as he observes your failure lying crumpled on the ground. You groan again in embarrassment and bury your face in your hands. “Is it obvious that I’ve never put together a tent before?” Your muffled voice causes him to laugh loudly, his head thrown back and you peek at him through your fingers. “I think it’s possible that you could use some help,” he chuckles, walking over to the mess of fabric and poles on the ground and beginning to untangle everything.  “Thanks,” You say, leaning down to help him. With his gentle instruction, the tent goes up in no time.

           “Well then, that wasn’t so hard now, was it?” Tom claps his hands together. You smile gratefully at him. “Thank you, really.” You admit. “If it wasn’t for you, I’d really be sleeping under the stars tonight.” “Now now, I wouldn’t let that happen.” He reassures you. His voice softens slightly, “I see that my boys have taken quite a liking to you! They’ve already blessed me with the details of your trip here, and I would like to thank you for keeping an eye on them.”

             “It was really no problem, they’re sweethearts. You’re lucky to have them as your sons.”

           “Oh yes,” He smiles at you. “Though we aren’t blood related, they are my sons, and I’m blessed to have them. “

           Silence spans between you briefly, and as he opens his mouth to speak again, he is interrupted by Timmy and Tommy running up to both of you through the trees. “Sir!” Timmy exclaims, “The other villagers have finished setting up their tents and are waiting for you in the square!” Tommy stands beside you, leaning against your side and you cradle your hand against the side of his head as Timmy eagerly explains his plans of a celebration to take place later in the evening to celebrate the move in.  “Yes, that sounds like a wonderful idea Timmy! Go ahead and start those preparations with Tommy. _____ and I will take care of the food and firewood for you. You look up as your name is mentioned.

           “Yes sir!” Timmy salutes, and drags his brother off. “So, a celebration huh?” you ask, walking along with Nook, who had begun to gather twigs from around the area. “A celebration to commemorate all of us on our new beginnings, is what Timmy said, “ He chuckles. “He’s not wrong.” You laugh along with him. Spying some low hanging fruit from a nearby tree, you pick some off the branches. “These are peaches, right?” you ask, inspecting the fruit in your hands. Nook walks over and takes it from you. His fur brushes against you and you marvel silently at how soft it was. He sniffs it and confirms your question with a grin. “They sure are! They’ll make some wonderful drinks and snacks for tonight.” You agree and turn to collect more as Nook finishes his task of collecting firewood.

           Reaching things turned out to be within the list of things that were causing you difficulty today, as a peach just out of hands reach hung from its branch, mocking you. You were on your tiptoes, straining as much as you could but reaching didn’t seems to be adding any inches onto your height. Resigning yourself to cruel fate, you gave up. Before you could turn around however, you felt two strong arms wrap around your legs and lift you up, causing you to gasp in alarm and grab onto whatever was lifting you. Which turned out to be Nook. “Um, hi?” You say questioningly. “it seemed like that peach was just out of reach,” Nook teased, hoisting you to sit on his shoulder. Oh. Oh. He was strong. As in, you could feel muscles under there, strong. Be still your little beating heart. You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak without stuttering. However, after you had gotten the fruit, he didn’t put you down, instead choosing to walk to the main area everyone had been in before, both of you chatting the entire way there.

 _______________________________________________________________

           “Now then, let us start the festivities!” Nook exclaims, lighting a huge bonfire in the middle of the main area. You clap along with everyone else, reveling in the decisions that led up to this moment. “Now, since this can’t exactly qualify as a deserted island anymore, I feel as if it is our duty to name our new home! Yes, we’ll put it to a vote. Everyone think of a good name for this island!”

           As Flo and Hamlet split off to talk together, you stand and think to yourself. Many names came to mind but nothing seemed to fit the best. Until one name came to you.

“Avviare”*

           Heads turned to look at you and you flush red as you realize you said it out loud. “We love it!” Flo and Hamlet exclaim, clapping eagerly. Nook smiles, “Well then, if we are all in agreement,” He turns to check with Timmy and Tommy, who nod happily, “Then it seems like we have an overwhelmingly positive response to the name Avviare! How splendid!” Taken aback by the response, you smile and give a small bow. Nook gazes at you, a twinkle in his eye. “_____, since you have proven yourself by naming this island, I’d like to rely on you for other critical decisions we’ll need to make along the way. Yes yes, I hereby name you the Resident Representative of Avviare!” Cheers erupt from the others as Timmy and Tommy rush to hug you. “Say a few words!” Tommy urges you.

           “Um well… You can count on me!” you declare, slightly overwhelmed by all of the attention. Ever your savior, Nook hands out drinks to everyone and declares a toast. “A toast!” You all raise your drinks, “To Avviare and the happiness of its residents!”

             “Cheers!”

             The sky has long since grown dark as you all sit around the fire. Crickets chirp in the background and a breeze flows through the air. You lean back while sitting on the log serving as a bench and your gaze wanders over to Nook. The firelight casts shadows across his face, highlighting his features and giving him an air of relaxation. He takes a sip of his drink and your eyes lock yet again. He smiles that all knowing smile and walks over, sitting beside you. “Having a good time?” At your quiet nodding, he chuckles. “This all must be a bit much for you, so if you feel like taking a rest in your tent, by all means, go ahead.”

           “You go to deny but a yawn sneaks out, destroying any chance you had for an excuse. “maybe I’ll go do that..” you admit, standing with a sheepish look on your face. Nook stands as well and offers you his arm to take. “Let me walk you back to your tent. You look dead on your feet.”

           The walk back to your tent is carried out in comfortable silence, and all to soon the tent comes into view. “Thanks for walking me back Mr. Nook,” your arm is still interlaced with his as you turn to look at him. “Oh please! Call me Tom. There’s no need for such formalities now.” His eyes meet yours. “Well,” He sighs, “We’ve got another big day ahead of us tomorrow, so rest up as much as you can tonight. “ he steps back, and you silently mourn the loss of contact. “Sweet dreams, _____,” He lingers a moment, acting like he wants to say something, but decides otherwise. He gives you a wave as he walks off back through the trees. You watch as he goes.

           Stepping inside your tent, you are greeted with a sleeping cot, radio, and lantern. A smaller place that what you were used to, but this was a tent so that was a given. Your suitcase had been delivered as promised so you dug through it to find your pajamas. Laying in bed sounded like a wonderful idea and you plopped down as soon as you had finished changing. You could still hear the wind and crickets outside creating a natural ambiance.

           When coming to this island, it was in your plans to just pick a spot and try to live with as few dramatics as possible, but it seemed that life just loved to throw curveballs your way. ‘This one, however,’ you thought as sleep began to take you, ‘doesn’t seem so bad.’.

 ____________

(*) Avviare- Italian translation of ‘to begin’

________________________________________________________________

And there we have chapter 1! Y’all don’t know how much fun this actually is for me to write haha. Don’t forget to read the prologue if you haven’t already, the link is up at the top.

If you want to be added to a tag list, let me know! 

I’m not sure if I’ll have a consistent upload schedule but i’ll try to upload as often as I can now that summer break is coming up.

Aaaand, I think that’s it. Let me know what y’all think!

[syms-things-5]

Clear The Area - Chapter Fourteen

Previous Chapter HERE

Warnings: Language, NSFW Language

Tags: @jennmurawski13 @kelbabyblue

Note: Apologies, this is a repost from yesterday for reasons I won’t go into now. i hope you enjoy this chapter!

Chapter Fourteen

Sarah jostled with the mail as she entered their building, trying hard not to knock over the newest fresh plant currently adorning the entrance. They usually took it in turns to handle the post and whatever parcels the Supervisor had signed for that day but she was starting to feel a little short-changed as Shanna had consistently more post coming her way these days. Sarah realised she needed to get out more. Carting everything up the stairs was starting to become its own workout. Today’s treasures involved two Nasty Gal packages, a package from Pottery Barn, a box from Amazon, and what appeared to be a free sample of a Louis Vuitton fragrance. Sarah might just keep that last one to herself.

Jocelyn had sent another care package of sorts her way but it only served to remind Sarah that she had not called her folks in over a week. Ever since the accident, Jocelyn had been so consumed with worry that she had taken to sending Sarah articles ripped form magazines and gift cards for relaxation therapies. Despite Sarah’s many protests to the contrary, Jocelyn was sure Sarah was struggling with some form of undiagnosed PTSD. She’d read about it in a magazine. “If affects upwards of half a million American every year, honey.”

After successfully dodging the neighbour’s schnauzer, she eventually reached their floor and was just about to turn her key in the lock when the door swung wide open. Before she had time to react, she was brought face to face with a stressed-out Shanna, hair dripping wet from a shower. Not her favourite Shanna it had to be said. Not even in the Top Ten.

She grabbed Sarah by both shoulders. “I don’t know what I’m going to wear, Sarah! I’ve got less than an hour!”

“And hello to you, too!” Sarah smiled broadly, almost comically so, before Shanna lowered her head in embarrassment and moved out of the way so Sarah could physically get into her own home. She held the packages up. “Maybe there is something in here?”

Shanna shook her head. “No, they’re more summery. More formal.” She’d started fluttering around Sarah in a panic. “Do you still have that leather midi skirt? Do you think I could fit into it?”

“Uhh yeh it’s in the back of my closet somewhere.” she remembered. “Might be a bit warm, though? What are you gonna wear with it?”

“Well it’s a punky kind of bar, think it has live music and stuff so I thought maybe that Rolling Stones t-shirt and the maroon boots? Keep my hair down and casual?”

“So basically all of my clothes?” Sarah retorted. Shanna pressed her hands together in prayer and gave her the best pitiful smile she could manage, one she knew Sarah couldn’t resist. Shanna seemed to genuinely like this guy and if this guy was as charming and as smart as she told her he was, Sarah was sure she would like him, too. Hell, he’d be best friends with Scott and Chris in no time so long as he enjoyed football, Sam Adams, and didn’t put points on Shanna’s licence.

“Give me five minutes and I’ll see what I can pull together. Do you wanna borrow that heart necklace of mine? If you’re wearing your hair down, it’s probably best you avoid wearing earrings unless you want me to cut you out of them again.” Sarah shouted as she walked into her room unaware that Shanna had followed her closely behind.

“Oh god I hadn’t even thought that far. You know what, I might just cancel. This is just too much right now and I’m not even sure if he really likes me as anything more than a friend.” She feigned a dramatic flop onto Sarah’s bed, one arm landing across her forehead. Sarah delved through her closet to locate the desired items. If Shanna was threatening to cancel the date already, it must be serious.

“How many of you are going to this club?” Sarah asked, emerging from the closet doorway.

“Don’t know. Think three or four from my department and another couple from his?” she responded, hopelessness evident in her voice. Shanna never did well with vagueness where guys were concerned; everything had to be black and white with her.

“Come on, you’ve still got time.” Sarah encouraged as she carried some clothes and a couple of pairs of boots towards the bed. “Dry your hair and we’ll figure this out, OK?”

“Have I told you how much I love you lately?” Shanna pouted and Sarah tried to shrug off the pit growing in her stomach from her words. Shanna used every ounce of energy she could muster to get up and drag herself back into the bathroom leaving Sarah shaking her head.

It was only a rare occasion when Shanna took less time getting ready in the bathroom. Sarah had fond memories of shouting through the door back when they were at college and deciding to move in together required a complete 180 degree shift in her expectations. Still, in less than half an hour, here she emerged fully dressed, primer and foundation applied, and hair dried accordingly. It was a miracle of epic proportions and if she hadn’t shoved some false eyelashes into Sarah’s hand, Sarah would have snapped a photograph to send to the family as evidence that their little girl was growing up.

Thanks to her professional, steady hand, Sarah was always the eyelash-fixer among their group. While fixing a couple of lashes to the corners of her eyes, Sarah’s phone buzzed. It buzzed a couple more times in quick succession and she would have managed to ignore it had it not been for Shanna’a roving eye.

“Looks like someone wants you.” she murmured, trying her hardest not to move as Sarah held the glued lash in place with some tweezers.

“It’ll just be Audrey probably.” Sarah responded in no rush to check for herself, keeping a firm hold on what she was doing.

Shanna tried glancing to her side one more time to catch who it was but couldn’t quite make it out. It buzzed again. “I’d hate for you to miss out on a date with Greg on account of helping piece my pathetic love life together. Oooh maybe we could double-date!”

Shanna’s exclaim nearly caused Sarah to lose her grip on the tweezers but a sharp intake of breath convinced Shanna to give up the inquisition. “Sorry. Sorry.” she held her hands up as an apology before feeling Sarah’s hands relax as she moved across to the other eye.

Sarah was pleased to see Shanna eventually leave their apartment. Not because she wanted the peace particularly but just because it was nice to see her get excited over a guy that wasn’t Ben. She looked gorgeous, too. Sarah was quite proud of her work. If it wasn’t to be a proper date, it definitely would be after tonight. Robbie would be an absolute fool to miss out.

It was only when she slumped dow onto the couch and spent the next hour or so flicking through television channels that she remembered her phone had buzzed earlier on. She reluctantly peeled herself off the sofa and retrieved it from where it had originally landed on her bedside table. Honestly, it was like Shanna had taught her nothing.

From just two messages, Chris had attempted some mild flirtation with her before asking her if she knew what in God’s Name Penhaligon’s was.

Sarah 8.19pm: Perfume I think. Pretty old school brand. Why?

Chris 8.23pm: Mom wants it for her birthday. Never heard of it before. Scott thought it might be some kind of scarf??

She googled the name to make sure. Last thing she wanted was to end up ruining Lisa’s birthday celebrations with a present she absolutely did not want. Her birthday was something she took with increasing seriousness as each year passed by and her children and grandchildren grew older in front of her eyes. There was always a party of sorts, a massive cake, perhaps a theme, and a “suggestion list” for possible gifts. Well, they say “suggestion” but rarely did anyone dare deviate from “the list”. Sarah hadn’t yet considered buying a present but if Chris was already looking, she would no doubt need to catch up.

Sarah 8.34pm: Yep, pretty certain it’s a perfume. Pretty pricey. Good shout.

Sarah started scanning through her phone as another couple of messages caught her eye, some she had accidentally missed from earlier in the day. One from Audrey. One from Greg that she was not expecting.

Greg 7.02pm: Great news! 29th is set up. All you need to do is say the word! Don’t know how long I can hold the spot open so let me know as soon as you can. Have a great evening x

It took her a moment to register what he was talking about.

Chris 8.37pm: Cool THX What are you wearing??

Sarah stared down at the phone. She felt light-headed. There was far too much going on for this time of the day. She wiped at her forehead with her sweater sleeve and took a deep breath.

Sarah 8.41pm: You wouldn’t be interested lol

Chris 8.42pm: try me..........

He had a surprising habit these days of cheering her up.

Sarah 8.46pm: Nah I look a mess. Get out while you can.

Her phone started ringing almost as soon as she’d pressed ‘send’, Chris’ name flashing on her screen. She contemplated not answering now that her mood had taken a turn but she knew he would work out something was wrong and immediately dive over.

“Hey,” she answered, trying for a jovial tone but coming up just south of delirious.

“Hey you,” he smiled through the phone, happy to hear her voice. “In all the years I have known you, Bernette, not once would I describe you as looking like a mess.”

She laughed down the line. She made the right decision.

“...you are far too cute to ever be a mess. Do you know that? Like, I can already picture you with your sweats on, your hair tied up, soft skin...” he trailed off with a low sigh that she was sure was filthier than he intended it to be. “Man, that really does something to me.”

“You really know how to charm a girl. Have you figured this Penhaligon’s thing out yet? Was I right?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

She laughed again. “Sorry. Sorry. I’m not great with flirting over the phone. You should know that by now.”

“Then do it with me in person.” he proposed as if it was the easiest solution in the world. As if she wasn’t going to be distracted with thoughts of work and studies enough to not focus on him entirely. And he didn’t deserve to be second best.

It would have been all too easy to allow him to come over. Forget about overthinking things again. There truly was no one better at making her feel good about herself these days. Like, honest, through-the-bone good about herself, whatever that entailed. Goosebumps raised on her skin at the thought.

“I’m pretty whacked to be honest and...”

“What’s going on? Are you feeling alright?” he asked, concern evident in his tone. Whatever he had been pottering about with in the background had stopped all of a sudden.

“Yes! Yeh, I’m fine. Just...I dunno, boring. Plus, it’s Friday night! You should be out with the guys or whatever. Shan said Scott is having issues with Zach again. Is he OK?”

He laughed at her second lame attempt to deflect. He knew something was going on and he knew she knew he wouldn’t give up easily.

“Is Shanna there?” he asked.

“No, she went out with some friends.”

“So why don’t you ask me to come over and I’ll make you feel better than fine?”

She was lucky she was sat down or that her legs were crossed underneath her as she lounged on the couch, her back against the arm rest. His tone was causing her to feel things she shouldn’t be focussing on. What must it feel like to always be confident of your effect on people?

“Do you wanna come over?” she asked, treading lightly, not entirely anxious should he decline.

“I’ll be there in twenty.” He ended the call almost as abruptly as he had dialled it.

She remained where she sat for a moment, Greg’s text message still lighting up her screen. She wasn’t expecting for things to suddenly be so easy for her and it was strange how opening herself up to more possibilities could cause her to feel so immobile.

She would need to move at some point and as a helpless and as confused as she now felt, she knew it would look far too obvious to Chris if she bid to make herself up. She also didn’t really have the energy to do so. Lord, Chris really should have taken the out when he had the chance.

“Have I just walked into a teenage girl’s bedroom?” Chris asked, taking a look around as he entered the apartment not long afterwards. He clearly found the scene amusing although Sarah couldn’t under stand why. It was partly Shanna’s home after all. He should be used to girly mess. “What’s going on?”

“Shan has a date. I was helping her to get ready.” Sarah replied, humourously holding up the hairdryer like a trophy before dumping it back in her bedroom. “Sort of, actually. She doesn’t quite know if it’s a date date or a friend date.”

“I was told those didn’t exist.” Chris smirked, reaching for a bottle of water from her fridge.

“Well, she’s dressed up for one. Looks gorgeous.”

“I think you look gorgeous.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Chris, you don’t need to make any more effort, OK? You’re already in the apartment.”

“I think it bears repeating is all.”

He swallowed half the bottle of water before fixing her with a semi-quizzical stare. He tried to figure out what was going on as he watched her potter around the kitchen table, swiping something away into a cupboard, phone grasped in her hand. “What’s going on? You sounded weird on the phone and now you look like it as well.”

“Nothing’s wrong.” she answered far too quickly and tried to shrug it off but his body language told her he wasn’t buying it. She wasn’t sure what was bothering her more in this moment; him knowing her too well, or that he knew he knew her too well.

“OK, alright, well, it’s Friday night and I’m happy just hanging out and doing whatever but you can also talk to me as well. I’m not a monster.”

“It was her turn to look back at him, unsure of her next move or indeed his. she wondered if he was very likely regretting his decision to meet her now when twenty minutes in the opposite direction would take him to one of his favourite downtown dive bars. Instead, he rested against the side of the kitchen doorway, arms folded, a softness still present in his facial expressions. He seemed hesitant of what to say and she didn’t like the slight awkward air surrounding them. She didn’t want to venture into work-territory either.

“Do you want me to go, Sarah?”

She looked back up at him after a short spell spent staring down at her feet. “No. I don’t want you to leave. I’m just...there’s something...” she paused to re-evaluate her words. “You know what, it’s find. It’s nothing major. Of course I’m glad you’re here now.”

He pushed himself off from the counter and moved towards her, accepting of the greeting smile now covering her face, the bottle of water still in his grip. “Cool. Shall I follow your lead then, or...?”

“Do you wanna watch a movie or something?” she suggested, more casually than he would have liked. She didn’t know what to say to him now that all of her brain space was taken up with possibilities and wanting to call Audrey with the news. Chris hadn’t factored in watching a film but she seemed like she wanted a little peace and quiet and he had pretty much dived into the apartment as soon as she gave him the green light, eager as he was to see her without threat of Shanna walking in at any point.

“Movie sounds good.” He bobbed his head in agreement, content in their surroundings for now.

*

At some point towards the end of Searching, Chris quietly excused himself to go to the bathroom. Realising something was about to happen and not wanting to have to explain it to him after he returned, Sarah put the film on pause and headed into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. She had held him at an arm’s length for most of the night, the couch seeming longer somehow, but was now feeling a slight chill despite the thick sweater reaching midway down her thighs. He would no doubt have been cosy to snuggle up to but she was still pondering Greg’s message and couldn’t concentrate on much else.

Her demeanour hadn’t gone unnoticed by Chris. A couple of times he caught the glare from her phone screen illuminating her face from below and wondered who had gotten her attention this evening. He stopped himself from making an obvious joke and was disappointed that she hadn’t noticed him glance across at her several times during the movie. He wasn’t much interested in watching it. Telling the truth, he’d seen it via a DVD screener Matt had sent him months earlier but she’d mentioned she was looking forward to watching it and in all honesty, he had figured they would curl up together and he would have still gotten something out of it.

“Chris? Do you want a cup of tea?” she hollered from the kitchen doorway. No response for what seemed to be a long, long minute. She switched the kettle off and began pouring him one anyway. She could always drink two if he didn’t want it.

“Chris?” she shouted again.

She walked into the lounge to place the cups down and clocked the bathroom door ajar and seemingly empty. Maybe he left without telling her. In all fairness, she wouldn’t have been surprised or annoyed. She’d barely given him a moment of attention for the last two hours.

She wandered slowly down the hallway first passing Shanna’s bedroom before reaching her own and finding him stretched out across the bottom of her bed. She giggled and leaned on the side of the doorway. He looked rather comfortable. A little too comfortable. Maybe he wanted some company?

“What are you up to, Evans?”

He tilted his head up to find her standing there. “I was wondering how long it would take for you to notice I was gone.” He leaned up further and rested on one arm to fully take sight of her. His eyes appeared a little dopey, a thing that always seemed to give away his nefarious intentions. From the angle he was now lying in, the size of his bicep looked ridiculous. It could not have been an accidental move and she’d be lying if she said it wasn’t working for her.

“Are you bored? You can absolutely go if you have a better offer, I promise I won’t mind.” she offered by way of an apology but he stayed looking at her, not moving or responding to her offer. Being caught under his glare like this was unnerving to say the least. His hair looked a little messy from where he had been lying down yet he still made zero effort to move at all.

“I’m not bored.” He finally spoke, sincerity lacing his voice. “Are you? You seem distracted tonight.”

She didn’t know how to respond except to say he was right and to apologise again. She hadn’t figured out what to say to Greg yet so explaining her thought process to Chris wasn’t going to get her very far. It was times like this, when he was looking at her like that, that she wished she had the confidence to try and shut him up the old-fashioned way.

“Come here...” It was barely a whisper and she would have doubted he had spoken at all if it wasn’t for the hand he was now holding out towards her. He didn’t blink once.

She couldn’t refuse him and moved slowly to stand in the middle of his now-parted legs hanging off the end of the bed as he sat up. She watched as he closed his eyes when he felt her fingers smooth through his hair. There was something so calming about her touch, the deliberate graze of her nails sending little shocks down his spine. He wasn’t normally fussed by a woman playing with his hair even if occasionally he liked it when they pulled on it but something about her slow, tender touch was unlike anything he had felt before.

He moved his hands to the side of her thighs before pulling her legs down to either side of him. “I love looking at you from here.” he whispered, wrapping his arms around her waist making sure she couldn’t get away from him.

She moved in to kiss him, softly at first before she felt his tongue glide along her bottom lip, a wordless request for her to open up. He paused for a second, taking her in while she caught her breath before kissing her deeper than before. She pulled his t-shirt up from the hem and he reached up over his back to grab it and whip it off in record time. Not one of his proudest moments, it caught on his watch as he tried and failed to fling it to the side of them and he made a mental note to try that move again when he felt her chuckle against the side of his neck. He didn’t much mind being a dork in front of her. She knew he wasn’t as cool as he made himself out to be.

His hands found their way into her hair as he caressed the strands out of her face. He loved how silky it felt between his fingers and how faintly it smelled of coconut, her signature smell by now. Her hands gripped his wrists before slowly moving up his biceps and grasping at his shoulders while he pulled her down onto him to allow her to feel how hard he was becoming from her touch. He wanted to know she was only thinking about him. She felt him push up into her core and arousing her even more. His breaths were getting shorter while his hands moved down her sides in an attempt to hook into her leggings and drag them down and off her body. She moved a hand away from his shoulders to help him with his mission but a tapping sound soon broke her from her reverie.

“Wait.” she was still holding on to his arms to steady herself until things went quiet and his hands froze on her waist. Their breathing levelled out quickly and Chris threw her a confused look. “Do you hear something?”

“What?” He gasped. “No, nothing.” He grabbed the back of her head and pulled her back down to kiss him hard. His hands firmly gripped her ass until she was putting pressure back where he wanted it. She quickly forgot what she was thinking about while he moved her slowly along his growing length. He moved one hand up her side, dragging her sweater up with it so his fingers could finally feel her skin underneath. Her hands were pushing down on his chest a bit harder and in a moment that took her by total surprised he quickly flipped them over so she was lying underneath him, completely encased by his strong forearms.

Kissing her was so easy he couldn’t believe he hadn’t done it sooner. Her lips were soft, some of the softest her had ever touched. He figured she kissed like she wanted to be kissed, and he wanted to kiss her back like no boy had ever kissed her before. It was soft and hot and breathy and turning him on immensely. Neither was trying to win a battle but rather seeking and enjoying their closeness, the sharing of this one single sensation, outside world be damned.

The prospect of being uninterrupted was giving him all kinds of ideas. Her breathing was hot against his skin and he knew she was in the zone with him. They’d never particularly been slow and up until this point, he hadn’t much minded but he knew there was some part of her she was holding back and honestly, it was thrilling to him that he was determined to figure her out.

Pinning her underneath, one hand reached down and grazed the inside of her thigh. A little more pressure just over her clit caused her breath to hitch with a sudden squeak ever so slightly until they smiled back into their kiss, tongues massaging together. Honestly, he could carry on doing this for hours if he knew for sure there would definitely be another time they had this opportunity.

She opened her eyes to find him resting so close above her and evidently relishing the way she was lightly tickling the back of his neck with her fingers. Another languid kiss followed before he caught the side of her neck between his teeth and pushed himself against her core, her wetness increasingly apparent to him. She was growing accustomed to his need to tease her like this that she almost missed the scraping sound that had returned, only this time it was louder and sounded like it was coming from just down her hallway. She would have loved nothing more than to continue focussing on the hot breath now ghosting across her neck and shoulders but, panicking, she grudgingly pushed him off her.

“Fuck, what is that?”

Helpless and slightly dazed, all he could do was watch her get up from the bed to stand by the door. With an ear close to the gap, she listened out for another sound. Quieter than before, she swore she heard what sounded like shuffling followed by something being dropped on the ground.

Spying him about to protest, she shook her head. “Nope. Nope, that’s definitely something.” She proceeded to tiptoe out of her room and down the hall towards the kitchen, her bare feet treading ever so lightly and managing to dodge the one creaky floorboard. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting to find but felt a brief surge of confidence knowing the vision of Captain America might alarm whoever was attempting to break in to her home and presumably try to murder them both. He was 6 foot and built like a tank, he could absolutely save them both if push came to shove.

Of course, no one was there that she could immediately see. Maybe something had fallen off the wall instead, or perhaps had been knocked over by a strong breeze coming in via the open window in the lounge? Maybe she was hearing things after all or maybe it was a burglar but they got startled and ran away when they heard footsteps inside. Maybe it was just their neighbour moving around next door but it sounded a little too close for that. She resorted to the only thing she could think of in that moment and picked up a spatula just in case.

Chris was reluctantly putting his t-shirt back on when he followed quietly behind her, shaking his leg to relieve some of the tension in his boxers. Something banged again but this time she was sure it was coming from outside of her front door. He could now hear it as well but wasn’t entirely sure what she was hoping to accomplish with a plastic spatula in her hand.

She held her finger up to her lips to stop him from making any noise and peered through the peephole. She couldn’t see anything. Gingerly, she decided to open the door and jumped backwards when there, on the ground hunched up and leaning against the door frame, was a rathe intoxicated Shanna. Her bag had been emptied in a hurry like she’d been trying to locate her keys, and her coat was falling off her shoulders. She was half-asleep.

Chris snorted from somewhere close behind Sarah unable to contain himself, instantly familiar with the view in front of him. Sarah exhaled with some kind of relief that they were safe from a mass-murderer.

“I don’t believe it...” she spoken quietly.

“I do!” Chris could barely stop the laughter coming out now.

She and Chris moved to help her into the apartment, each grabbing her under one arm. Chris bared the majority of her weight while Sarah carried her bag and as a many contents as she could find. They managed to manoeuvre her into her bedroom where she promptly fell forward, head first, onto her bed,

“Fuckin’ waster,” he laughed heartily before Sarah punched his arm to stop him  from waking her. the room fell silent for a moment before the unmistakeable sound of Shan snoring took over. Chris closed the door behind them before following Sarah to the kitchen where she collected the remaining items that had fallen out of her bag. Picking up her phone, she checked for scratches.

“Well at least she didn’t lose it this time,” she held up the mobile to him but noticed he couldn’t stop grinning. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” he shook his head. “I just wish I’d taken a picture of her. Scott would have a heart attack. Always told her she couldn’t handle her drink!”

“i don’t know how you’d explain getting hold of a photo of her.”

“Oh yeh, good point.” he chuckled in reponse. They regarded each other for a moment, Chris clearly hopeful they could pick up from where they left off.

“I think you should go,” Sarah thought apologetically.

He paused before answering, expecting her to have been joking. “Why? She’s passed out on her bed. She’ll be asleep for hours. Do you have any idea how many times I have seen her like this?”

“Have you any idea how many times I have seen her like this? She’ll wake up in the middle of the night and get into bed with me and it’d be a lot easier to handle if I didn’t have to explain to her why her bother was also there.”

“Sarah, we could throw a rave and she wouldn’t wake up.”

He was making no effort to move, instead fixing her with a stare waiting for her to recognise how ridiculous she sounded. His hands pinched at his hips and he looked a foot taller than before

“Seriously, Chris, you’re just going to have to leave.”

He took a couple of steps towards her, bare feet padding along the hard, cold floor. “I haven’t see you all week.” He moaned, hands reaching out for her hoping the memory of where they had been would be enough to convince her he should stay.

“That’s not true. You saw me the other day.” It was a weak response. Even she knew that.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

She offered back nothing. She had no response. He was disappointed and equally as frustrated with his lack of a decent comeback. He should definitely stay. He should be rocking her world right this moment and whispering filthy things into her ear but instead, all he could do was stand there and shake his head in defeat. When he made eye contact with her again, she looked somehow smaller in some way and he found it hard to continue being frustrated with her. He understood what she was doing as much as he didn’t want to.

Resigned, he shuffled towards her and embraced her in a hug. She felt him semi-hard against her tummy, briefly doubting her choices. It stirred something exciting inside her to think she could make him feel that way and mentally chastised Shanna for cock-blocking her. She felt bad for kicking him out like this.

“I promise I’ll make it up to you.” she whispered.

He loosely pulled away from their hug and looked down at her. He playfully raised an eyebrow and looked down at her lips, still pink and swollen, before chastely planting a kiss on them.

“I am absolutely going to hold you to that.”

*

Shan finally made an appearance the following morning looking like death warmed up. She’d somehow managed to remove her clothes but had a pyjama top on backwards and her hair was sticking out in all directions. She had Sarah’s expert eyeliner and a false lash smudged down one cheek.

Sarah was eating breakfast and checking the news on her phone when she saw the creature from the black lagoon emerge into her kitchen. Stifling a laugh at the sorry sight standing before her, she felt a pang of sympathy seeing every step cause her pain. Shan just pouted at her before taking a seat at the kitchen table, resting her forehead in her hands while Sarah fixed her a glass of juice and some aspirin. She took it gratefully before groaning.

“Remind me never to do shots again.” she stressed. Sarah knew it wouldn’t last, not with that Boston blood coursing through her veins. “Was Chris here last night?”

Sarah froze, a sudden ring clouding her ears. “Erm, no, he wasn’t.” She turned to put her bowl in the sink and tried to hide any blushes. She didn’t know who felt more like shit in this exact moment.

“Oh I could have sworn I heard him is all.” Shan said, more to herself than to anyone else. “God, it’s good he wasn’t. He’d have a ball game seeing me in that state. How awful was I?”

“Not very,” Sarah lied again.

“How did I even get home?” she asked, trying to piece together the flashes of memories that kept racing through her mind.

“Um, I think your friends dropped you off in a taxi and you somehow managed to get up the stairs but then I guess you couldn’t find your keys...?” Shan managed a puzzled look. “You were slumped against the front door.” She refilled her glass with juice. “You’ve been in bed for, like, twelve hours.”

“Shit, we must have started early.”

“Well it happens to the best of us.” Sarah sat next to her and pushed a loose piece of hair out of her sweaty, red face. “Your hair looks OK! I don’t think there is anything stuck in it this time.”

Shanna laughed for the first time before her head panged in revenge.

“So? Did anything happen with Robbie?” Sarah asked, a cheeky grin crossing her face. By the look on Shanna’s face, the answer was a resounding “no” but it could very well have been the alcohol-induced hurricane currently running though her head.

“Well, it was a great night regardless. You’d love the bar. I think we ran into that guy, the porter from your hospital? Pat something? Did you know he plated in a band?”

“Um, no, not at all. Wow.” Sarah was trying to picture Patrick with an array of different instruments to see which suited him before remembering the awkward time he attempted to drum Phil Collins’ ‘In The Air Tonight’ with two scalpels. “Actually, he does seem the type. I’ll have to let Audrey know. She’ll love this.”

“He sounded pretty decent. It’s not just punk music or heavy rock. I think we should all go one night. Maybe as part of Mom’s birthday week.” Shanna perked up a little, proud of the idea that had materialised in her head against all odds. “It’s amazing what people can do when they put some effort in. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Where you might be now if you just took a chance.”

Following a night of heavy drinking, Sarah wasn’t expecting such an existential conversation at this point in the day. But it was a good point regardless. She grabbed her phone from the table and typed out a message to Greg.

“Yes. I’m in.”

*

[omgokiguess]

i’m like sort of planning shit to be ready for my boyfriend to come here and move to florida. he’ll be here in like 4 days and i made an appointment for a wax and an eyebrow thread so that’s out of the way. and either tomorrow or monday i’m gonna go out to the northwest and get my hip repierced (one of the piercings has been out for like.... months ugh). and i’m like cleaning my apartment, almost done with that as of today, and throwing a bunch of shit out. i really am gonna end up throwing out a lot of clothes. like i don’t need all these sweaters and shit in florida. my dad said i could take the desk that was his mom’s and i’m gonna take the couch, and the tv and tv stand. i’m throwing out all the kitchen stuff (which is like no kitchen stuff because most of it broke during the Really Bad Two Person Addiction Spiral time), and i’m throwing out the guinea pig cage and just getting a new one, and i think i’m throwing out the coffee table. i think i will bring like one pair of sheets and this comforter, but the mattress folds up into the wall and came with the place so i don’t have to deal with that. other than that like, there’s not really anything in here just some random junk that i’ll throw out. but yeah we’re probably not leaving chicago until march 31 once he gets here so like, whatever i have plenty of time. i have to figure out what to do about the DMV though. like court is no issue but i think i want to reinstate my license here and then get a florida license and then buy a new (used) car down there. we’ll see i guess. but whatever i know what to do. i need to buy some duct tape so i can tape certain shit together lmao

idk though the DMV is what is stressing me out the most. they charge me $500 to reinstate my license and like.... i can do that..... but also in florida they might just make me get a florida license. and there is no good way to figure this out except for staying on the phone forever with the Florida DMV. which like i’m gonna have to do i’ll just accept that. cause i know if you’re moving states Florida makes you do the driving test anyway so like, if they don’t care about the $500 fine that illinois would need then that would save me well... $500 lol

[miss-musings]

A Hellstrop look at 4.03

Going through it scene-by-scene:

Opening scene, these two are looking domestic AF -- outside, sharing some coffee (presumably), which makes me think of their matching coffee cups at the airport at the end of 3.05. I also find it interesting that they’re plotting their day together, rather than with the rest of the Soul Squad. Just reiterates what I said earlier -- Eleanor and Michael are co-leading (or co-parenting) this Good Place Experiment 2.0.

So, then. Eleanor brings up what a dork Chidi is, which Michael also laughs pretty heartily at. It’s when she remarks on how much she loves him, that Michael changes the subject. 

“It’s so great he erased his memory,” Michael says... almost like he’s happy that he gets to spend less time with Chidi and more time with Eleanor. But, then he sees the look on Eleanor’s face, and he quickly remarks how he’s always cognizant of how Chidi electing to erase his memories has caused Eleanor pain. He specifically says that he always thinks about it and he’s respectful of Chidi’s sacrifice. Hmmm....

Then, when Chidi approaches, all chipper and blissfully unaware of who exactly they are to him, Michael is practically beaming.

In the office scene right after the ‘coffee date,’ as it were, Michael -- who has known Chidi through 803 reboots and during his two-year reboot on Earth in the new timeline, says that he’s never seen Chidi so relaxed before. Huh. And, then of course, he -- very rightly, I will clarify -- says that Chidi needs to be tortured in order to become a better person. OK. Eleanor’s on board with it, and she’s very gung-ho about using her ‘torturing ex-boyfriend skills’ for Chidi’s betterment.

I also find it interesting that Michael (and Eleanor) decide to turn to Jason for help in torturing Chidi. Wouldn’t they be afraid that Jason could accidentally give the whole thing away? Also, Jason seems to like Chidi and says himself that he’s coming off the heels of a rough break-up and maybe isn’t the right person for the job. But, of course, they know exactly how effective Jason will be at making Chidi miserable enough to decide to better himself, so they pursue it anyway.

I think the whole crux of the episode, as we’ll talk about more later, is that Eleanor is acting kind of petty with this whole ‘motivating Chidi via torture’ thing. While everyone -- even Michael -- says it’s time to let up, she’s like no, let’s keep going until he’s straight-up miserable. It’s almost like that whole “If I can’t have you, no one can.” Eleanor has grown a lot, but she’s still clearly vindictive toward her ex-boyfriend for “abandoning” her, even though he did it in an act of self-sacrifice.

When Michael and Eleanor visit Stressed!Chidi, they’re wearing matching sweater / bow tie. So cute!!! When they wear matching blues and pinks and purples, it’s usually pretty subtle. But, this was VERY obvious, thanks to that bright shade of yellow. I wonder if any of the residents ever wonder if these two Architects are a ~couple~. Like, they don’t know how Architects’ lives work. Maybe. Who knows?

Also, Michael seems to be very happy to see Chidi being tortured again. And then of course the little fist-bump between them. :)

At the luau, Michael and Eleanor are wearing matching leis!

So... who’s idea was it to create the helpful Magic Ants? Michael seems to have control over them, since Eleanor tells him to call them. Also, even though we didn’t get the scene, I would’ve loved to have seen Michael and Eleanor drinking champagne in their shared co-Architects’ office, because they are the co-parents of this neighborhood. But, damn, Chidi’s torture is to the point where Michael’s saying they need to ease off and Eleanor’s even more gung-ho. And I love the little touch of Eleanor moving to Michael’s side whenever Chidi comes into the office. Rather than moving closer to Chidi, she moves closer to Michael.

And then THE ANTS SHOW UP! Did Michael already mentally summon them with his demon powers???

OK, so for the Chidi-almost-confesses-and-Eleanor-breaks-down scene:

I know I’m not the first to point this out, but I love how, even when Michael is facing Chidi and talking to him, his body is still pointed at Eleanor. I feel like I remember some random tidbit back in my hardcore dating days. If you’re standing in a group (circle or semi-circle) of people, and you want to see who someone’s the most interested in, look at where their feet are pointed. I feel like this is actually kind of worthless when it comes to trying to figure out whether your crush actually likes you or whatever, BUT, I think it’s a point worth making here.

And, of course, their blocking reinforces everything this season has given us so far. Eleanor is in charge; Michael is her ‘assistant’ / co-Architect; and Chidi is THEIR subject now. He’s no longer an equal. Michael and Eleanor are really the equals here, even though Eleanor and Chidi are supposed to be our couple. It’s sad, really, and as much as I love Eleanor and Chidi, I’m very curious as to how the show is going to give us their romance again considering they now have a very unbalanced dynamic. (Unless they somehow give Chidi his memories back, which I’m not sure if that’s even possible.)

“And this is the Universe getting back at me” -- not the Universe, buddy. Just a bitter ex-girlfriend.

And that fact that Chidi thinks that Eleanor is God (or the God equivalent of this afterlife) just further reinforces how much I feel like we’re not really going to get Chidi and Eleanor as a real couple again. (Unless, again, they give him his memories back.)

So, as Eleanor’s having her little cry, Michael stands by her side, gives her a box of tissues, explains away her remark about how she’d promised to take care of him. And his dialogue again points out that this is Eleanor’s neighborhood. SHE’s the Architect. He’s helping her, sure; but she’s the one calling the shots now. Then, I love how he basically tells Chidi that Chidi’s pain is Eleanor’s pain, and then basically tells Chidi that he will blow up whatever the problem is. LOL

Like “OK, anything that’s causing Eleanor pain is going to get blown up. So, just tell me what it is!” Of course, Michael’s in on the whole thing, but it’s still kinda funny that that’s how he frames it to Chidi.

AND THEN, when Chidi tries to offer his apologies and comfort Eleanor for causing her pain, Michael LITERALLY SHOVES HIM OUT OF THE ROOM!!! “She’ll be fine [as long as you’re not around]!”

LMAO, you guys

So.

Now we come to the “Eleanor figures out why she’s been acting so vicious” scene.

Want to point out that it looks like Michael’s pocket square matches Eleanor’s sweater.

Michael points out that Eleanor & co. were only torturing Chidi because they had to. He basically gives her an out. He says what they were doing was necessary for the experiment, but -- because Eleanor’s grown so much -- she has to verbalize exactly why she did what she did without being prompted.

As we saw with flashbacks in earlier seasons, one of Eleanor’s biggest insecurities was people leaving her. In relationships, she always wanted to be the dump-er not the dump-ee, to the point where she reads Sam’s emails to his dad just so she can get the drop on him before he has the chance to leave her. This time, though, Chidi was the one who left HER, and she was angry, as she says.

Eleanor points out that Chidi is the person she talks to when she’s angry. But, we’ve seen her talk to Michael when she’s been angry, namely in 3.06 when she has her emotional outburst saying “I wanted that mom!” And, just like there, we can see why she prefers to go to Chidi instead of Michael (when she has the option, which wasn’t the case in 3.06), because Michael doesn’t understand human emotion.

“You’re often happy when you should be sad, and angry when you should be happy.”

But, just like last episode, Michael is the one there, comforting her, telling her to get her shirt together because they have work to do, and she’s the only one who can lead them right now. He tells her that she’s entitled to be a little angry, and that she’s on a road to work through it. Which is a much better response than he had for her during her little outburst in 3.06. So, Michael’s growing too, and learning what Eleanor and the rest of the Soul Squad need from him, even though he’s not human and doesn’t understand their emotions.

:)

P.S. Also, after rewatching that clip of the hooded figure making their way to the Good Place experiment, I’m thinking it’s either Shawn or Vicki in the Michael!SkinSuit. It seems to be a person of a taller, broader build, and they seem to be wearing more formal looking shoes. But, that could just be a stand-in and not actually representative of whomever it actually is. But, Vicky-as-Michael seems like the best bet right now, considering that was brought up in the 4.01 “previously on” and hasn’t really been mentioned since. I feel that like that’s a shoe that has to drop at some point soon.

[dillion-langdon]

I Fell out of Heaven to be with You in Hell Part 2

Sub!Michael x Reader

Summary: Reader experiences traumatic flashbacks of Michael’s past when they are intimate, so they consult his Ms. Mead. Little bits of humour in the beginning. The sex starts closer to the middle if you just wanna skip to that part. lol

First part can be found here.

Warnings: sub!Michael x Reader, young!Michael, fem!reader, smut, fingering, sexual intercourse, mention of post traumatic stress, mention of disassociation, talk of Christianity and demons, dirty talk, sexual tension, humour, fluff.

Word count: 4K. 

Side note: I based the sex part off of my own personal experiences with boyfriends(two that is) I was in love with. Even the post traumatic stress part. My first boyfriend had an episode in the middle of us doing it and it really sucked... Anyways! *sigh* Can you tell I’ve been single for far too long? Cause I can lmao *I need help*

________________________________________________________

One late night, in your room, you and Michael were in a pretty heavy make out session, when all of a sudden you were seeing flashes of a little blonde boy inside of your head. He was holding a bloodied, mangled cat and he was crying.  An older lady, you assumed who was Constance, was scolding him but you couldn’t make out what she was saying. As if on cue, Michael abruptly pulled away, eyes wide with fear and shoulders tensed.

“I-I’m s-s-sorry! I didn’t know that was inside of me.”

You gaped. This never really happened before, you seeing intimate, hidden memories of his past. Memories he chose to bury deep. Memories he had long forgotten. You remember him telling you once, how his childhood was a blur, how it was too painful for him to deal with and how he somehow forced himself to forget most of it. This broke your heart. You loved Michael so much and couldn’t bare to imagine him in that much pain where he basically had to disassociate with it.

“Baby, it’s okay,” you soothed. You caressed the side of his face and lovingly took his hand into yours. It easily engulfed yours and you gave it a reassuring, affectionate squeeze. His shoulders relaxed.

“Why is this happening to me, (Y/N)?”

You paused. Ever since you two became sexually involved—which was months after you guys started dating, you would see instances of him when he was younger. They happened abrupt enough where you could only see flashes of his face and that was it. Never like this. This is was a full on scene and this was the first time you saw someone else, and Constance above all.

“Mmm, maybe it’s because—you know, that we’re intimate now?” You wondered out loud.

“But I don’t wanna remember those things,” he weakly spoke. His eyes started to water and his bottom lip quivered. Your heart sank. You scooted closer to him and wrapped both of your arms tightly around Michael, right away he buried his head into the crook of your neck and started to lightly sob. His body shaking against yours. You could feel his pain. It was too overwhelming. All you could do was to hold him close and tight. And you never wanted to let go. You absolutely hated seeing this beautiful young man of yours being rendered into a hopeless, broken little boy.

“Please make it stop,” his voice was muffled by your neck and it hitched as he sobbed harder. You felt so utterly helpless. He was in ruin.

“Shhh, it’s okay, Michael,” you kissed the top of his head and started to gently rock him back and forth. “We’re gonna figure this out, okay?” You felt his long arms hug you harder, as if he was holding onto you for dear life.

“I love you, (Y/N),” he was still sobbing into your neck, his tears soaking your sweater. You had to figure this out, whatever it took.

The next morning, the both of you sat nervously at Miriam’s kitchen table. Despite breakfast being his favourite, strawberry French toast, Michael didn’t touch his food. He coyishly played with his fork, knowing that he had to talk about something embarrassing with the one person he considered the closest thing to a mother.

Miriam sat down across the table and quizzically looked from you to Michael, who was clearly not scarfing his food down like usual. “What’s the matter? You love French toast, more than my first husband did.”

You apprehensively put your arms on the table and started playing with your fingers, not knowing where to start.

“Uh, we sort of have a problem...” you spoke hesitantly.

Miriam’s eyes bulged and she exclaimed, “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

“What! No!” You and Michael both shouted in unison, quick to defend the obvious. You turned to Michael and he looked scared shitless. His face was pink. Clearly his dear Ms. Mead must of found out about the two of you having sex.

“Oh, dear Dark Lord!” she rolled her eyes and sighed heavily with relief, hand on chest in exasperation. “I know there’s supposed to be a backup, but that’s not for years, not until after you won the witches—”

“We keep seeing flashes of my past,” Michael cut her off. You could see him shifting in his seat, not wanting to say exactly how and when these flashes occurred. You took notice and cleared your throat.

“When we… er, are together-together,” you did air quotes, not wanting to say the dirty word in front of her. After all, she was your close friend and you were technically banging her adopted son. “We end up seeing memories of his childhood, the ones he forgot about...” You darted your eyes back down to your hands, closely examining the dark nail polish that was chipped.

Miriam was quiet. This made you nervous so you quickly looked up and she was deep in thought. She suddenly stood and walked around the table to her altar. You could hear books and trinkets being shuffled around until you heard what sounded like a heavy thud and something hefty being pulled out from underneath a heavier object. You turned and saw her holding a large, threadbare book that was titled in Latin. You only spoke English so you had no idea in hell what she was reading. She flipped through a few pages until she came across something that made her go, “Aha!”

Michael grabbed your hand under the table and squeezed hard, you gave him a reassuring look, hoping his Ms. Mead found the answer.

After she was reading, she explained how is father wanted him to remember his past. How it would fuel his powers and make him stronger, and the only way this were to happen was by being with you. When she said that you blushed. You knew Michael was special, but you? What’s so special about you?

She continued on about some Christian mumbo-jumbo that you had trouble following, but what you could get out of it, was that somehow you were the incarnation of Lilith or Awan or one of those demonesses; you were put here on Earth to shepherd Michael, the Antichrist towards full reign and terror of the Apocalypse.

You were stunned into silence. Michael was still holding your hand, albeit they were sweaty, he still held on tight. With the book still in hand, Miriam made her way back around the table and took a seat. Her head turned from you to Michael, then back to you, awaiting a response. She slapped her hands down on the table, startling you both.

“Well, I think that solves that there kiddos.”

Still nothing. Just shock.

Miriam heaved her chest, “C’mon, it’s not like I didn’t know what was going on!” Your cheeks flushed harder. “It was bound to happen, I just wasn’t sure when.” She laughed and you could feel Michael’s horror.

His mouth fell open, and shaking his head, he quickly said, “It’s not like that,” he suddenly stood up and you were forcefully yanked out of your seat as Michael still had a Terminator grip on your hand and you awkwardly stood up, trying to find your balance. “We love each other.” That last bit came out louder than he intended and his voice cracked mid-sentence.

You and Michael loved each other. You just never told anyone.

Miriam’s whole face beamed with joy at those words and before you could react she was hugging you both, her one hand in Michael’s hair as she playfully ruffled it. This was literally the most awkward sex conversation you ever had. You normally pride yourself on being comfortable with your promiscuity and sharing details with others, but this, this was weird and uncomfortable.

As soon as Miriam let go of the overly enthusiastic embrace, she grabbed her coffee mug and left the room, humming to herself. You and Michael—with his now messy hair, just stood there, gaping at each other. What the hell just happened?

It wasn’t until later that Miriam mentioned to you over coffee, how she found a condom pack in Michael’s jeans one day when she was doing laundry and how it made her smile. You spat out your coffee.

What the fuck.

You had to gently put it to her how yes, you two are close friends but discussing you and Michael’s sex life was off the table. She just laughed at this and said, it’s not like she bore him when he was a child. You had to sigh and just remind yourself to be, very, very vague about these things around her. The last thing you wanted was to picture Miriam standing in the corner of the room as you and Michael went at it. The thought of this made you shudder in horror. Why did you guys have to go to her? Why couldn’t you just pick one of the other Cardinals at the Church for advice? Ugh.

Unfortunately, this whole incident put sex off the table for a few days.

A few nights have passed and Michael was over watching Netflix with you. He was laying on the couch with his head in your lap and his hand conveniently resting on your thigh. You guys were watching The Omen 3, Michael had insisted on it. He was eager to devour every bit of pop culture that detained any reference to the Antichrist. You thought this was so adorable. He also insisted you do the same, after all, you were put on this earth to solely serve him. This gave you all sorts of warm fuzzies.

He was the Dark Prince and you were his companion. His partner in crime, as cheesy as it sounds.

And your dark prince was being mischievous. As he was slowly rubbing his hand on your thigh, it was gradually getting closer, and closer to in between your legs. You had no intention of stopping him, as this little abstinence period had you craving him more than ever. A dull ache had grown down there and you could feel your panties getting damp.

His pace was torturous so you moved his hand with yours up into the spot where you desperately wanted to be touched. With his head still facing the TV, he smiled.

“You’re such a little shit,” you teased and this only caused his smile to broaden.

You slightly parted your legs to make room for his large hand and he eagerly stroked you, lightly grazing the fabric of your underwear with his fingers. You tilted your head back and closed your eyes, stifling a moan. You swore you could just cum right then and there just by his simplest touch.

Michael continued to gently caress your heat, feeling it get hotter and more moist with each delicate stroke. He was reveling in this. Your eyes scanned his body and you could see a thick bulge form in his black jeans. You ran your fingers through his hair and tugged. He was so good to you.

He suddenly stopped and you pouted. His head turned up towards you and with a breathy voice he said, “Take off your panties.”

While still sitting down, you hitched up your skirt and slide them off in one fluid motion, not wanting to waste any time. Michael sat up and just as they were off, he scooted himself next to you and his hand was back on your thigh. His soft, cushiony lips crashed into yours and it was like the first time all over again.

The same zap of electricity washed over your body, and you could literally feel the chemicals inside of your head crashing in waves. It was ethereal.

You pulled away slightly, your parted lips grazing his as the heat radiated between you. Catching each other’s breath in your own, you hovered your lips over his, taking him in. You let a hand rest on his upper arm, feeling how long and lean it was, how the veins seemed to protrude. It never ceased to amaze you just how hot Michael was.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Michael breathed. This sent shivers down your spine. He always made sure to never let you forget just how beautiful and hot he thought you were.

You moaned at those words and sank your lips into his in a passionate exchange. His hand roughly squeezed your thigh, marveling at your softness. He started to stroke your leg, inching closer to that certain spot. All of a sudden you could feel his fingers slide delicately in between your folds, revering in your hot wetness. You let out a long moan into his mouth. Michael was always so eager to please you. When the two of you first started having sex, he was so eager it was almost aggressive. You had to stop and chide him, telling him to slow down and how his eagerness was hurting you. You had to teach him, which was expected since you were his first (and by the sounds of it, his last), how to pleasure you properly. He was a fast learner . His eyes would go big and hungry like, earnestly drinking up every ounce of criticism you offered.

Now he was such a good boy to you, you didn’t even have to tell him. Also mind you, he started to develop his telepathy around this time so he was obviously using that to his advantage. You didn’t mind this, since it served you well. You’ve had a number of sexual partners in the past, but they all paled in comparison to Michael.

Michael was phenomenal in bed and partly because you were madly in love with each other. You knew that being in love always amplified sex to a whole new level. You’ve been in love a couple of times, but never like this. Michael was your twin flame. He was your person.

The kissing started to become more wet and sloppy, and fast as he quickened the pace down below with his fingers. He was fondling your clit and you could feel your arousal heightening. Not wanting to climax so soon, you put your hand over his to stop him and pulled your face away.

His mouth was still parted, his lips slick with saliva, red and swollen with lust. He slowly opened his eyes and they were so dilated they almost looked black. Without saying a word to each other, you both went upstairs. You took his hand and guided him to your room. All the lights were off except for a string of pink Halloween lights that strung above your bed. You laid your hand on his chest and softly pushed him onto the mattress. He moved to where he was sitting with his back against the headboard. He knew too well that this was your favourite position.

You suddenly straddled his lap, lowering yourself onto his still clothed erection. A pulse of energy shot between your legs and up into your core. You aggressively moaned and you could feel his whole body shudder with pleasure. Michael wrapped his strong arms around your waist and up around your shoulders, greedily burrowing his face into your chest. You gently rocked your hips and you could feel him sigh with ecstasy into you.

Arching your back, you pressed yourself deeper into him, letting his hard length stroke you through his jeans. His breathing hitched. The friction was making you so wet, you could feel the fabric of his pants become soaked with your juices. Michael gently lifted your sweater above your head and removed it, leaving you only in a thin t-shirt. He nipped at your breasts through the fabric and the tender area around your nipples, eliciting a cry of pleasure from you. Your hands found his hair and you affectionately pulled on his curls, letting him know how good of a job he was doing. He softly growled, you were all his and he wanted nothing more than to be suffocated by you.

In between nibbles he would look up towards you for approval and you would reward him with a deep, lustful kiss, your hips still humping him with an intoxicating pace. You could feel his member start to twitch. You stopped and removed the last upper article of clothing, exposing your tender breasts to him. He aggressively cupped them with his mouth, obscenely moaning with hunger for you.

The only sounds in the room was of the bed squeaking and two of you panting heavily, with the occasional sound of a wet, sloppy kiss.

You sunk your lips into Michael’s when all of a sudden you saw a flash of red, then you saw a beautiful, older lady—sprawled lifelessly on a couch, with a scotch glass loosely in her hand and a cigarette in the other. Then you saw what looked like Michael, but he was dressed much differently, he wore khakis and a colourful striped shirt. He was holding the older lady and crying for her to come back, how he was sorry. Constance?

You stopped and opened your eyes. Michael’s eyes were still closed and tears were spilling down. He didn’t open them and with such vigor that you never experienced with him before, he pulled you in closely. He kissed you with such tenderness it made your head start swimming again with chemicals. You felt this pain but you also felt this enormous gratitude he had for you. Even though he was suppose to be the antichrist, the amount of incredible warmth and love that was radiating out of him was absolutely divine.

Michael never kissed you like this before. No one ever kissed you like this before. It was on such a different level, the gulf between you and reality was palpable. You felt like your whole being was levitating into the heavens and Michael was right there with you. Or more like hell, if you may.

“Thank you,” he whimpered into your lips, his voice sounded different. It was needy and wounded and grateful all at the same time. You could feel his body shaking with emotion. Despite all of this, neither of you wanted to stop. You and Michael were too far gone and wrapped up in the moment.

Still having your legs around Michael, he shifted your bodies where he was laying on top of you in the missionary position. Your second favourite position.

In between heated kisses, Michael removed his shirt. You slid a hand down his smooth chest, across his abdomen and onto his now soaking wet jeans. Despite the emotional turmoil, he was still rock hard. You squeezed the shaft of his member through his pants and his jaw slackened as a loud moan erupted from him. He buried his face into the side of your neck and started softly gnawing on your skin, leaving the faintest of bruises. He nipped and kissed his way up to your ear, where he nibbled the earlobe. You squirmed under him. He knew all of your weak spots down to a T. You could loudly hear his heady breath in your ear and it only made you want him more. You couldn’t take it.

“I want you inside of me, Michael,” you exhaled. With that he gave you a long, profound kiss before he slid off his jeans and boxer briefs. His erection sprung out and was drenched in a combination of your wetness and his pre-ejaculate. He dug into his jeans and pulled out a condom. Without breaking eye contact with you, he slipped it on. He lined himself up at your sultry, swollen entrance, gently pressing into your opening just the way you like it. Your head fell back onto the bed, mouth opening and closing. Michael cradled your head in his arm and pressed his forehead into yours. While looking deep into yours, his eyes bore those same holes as they did when you first met him, down right into your soul. His hips bucked forward and he slid into you, filling you right up with a burst of sensation.

“Michael!” You loudly gasped, no matter how many times he entered you, you were always taken aback by the severe amount of pleasure and how he seemed to fill you up just perfectly. As if you were made for each other. Two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together.

With unwavering eye contact, he slowly pumped himself into you, making sure to feel every inch of your innermost walls. He began to pant and whine with each thrust. Your hands wrapped around his smooth, soft back. You could feel how his body temperature was rising. Sweat slicked his hairline and a bead of moisture fell onto your face. You opened your mouth, letting yourself taste him. The taste and smell of his pheromones inebriating you.

The tip of him hit your cervix and you yelped with delight, your fingernails digging into his porcelain skin. You dragged them down his back, making sure to leave scratches. Michael arched his back and obscenely groaned. He loved it when you marked him, it always gave him loving reminders how he belonged to you.

Michael pressed his mouth into the side of your face and panted, his voice hitched with ecstasy, “Can I go faster, baby?” You nodded and as he quickened his pace, you let your hands slide down to his ass and you clutched his cheeks, wanting to feel his hips buck in and out of you with each push.

Your bodies were entangled with each other in perfect harmony. Each breath, each kiss, each stroke of his penis sent you closer over the edge. Now all you could hear were the wet, pounding sounds of your bodies, laboured breathing, and the smell of each other’s sweat. His moans turned into blissful whines as he was nearing his climax. There was not a sweeter sound in the world.

“You’re such good boy, Michael. I want you to cum for me,” you exhaled. Your voice heavy with lust.

Just as you spoke those words, your whole body tensed and your vision blurred, you were seeing stars. Your whole body was on fire and you could feel this thunderous wave of energy course through your being. You tightly wrapped your legs around Michael and squeezed your inner, spongy walls around him. Feeling this enormous amount of energy being released from your core and into Michael, your orgasm was so intense, not a sound was to be heard, despite having your mouth wide opened. All you could do was hold onto Michael and ride out this high with the man you love.

Right as he felt you clench around his length, Michael’s jaw slackened and his lips parted further, making a perfect O. He buried his face into the crook of your neck and you could feel the vibration of his groans inside of your body. Both your bodies tensed with rapid concessions of pleasure.

“(Y/N),” he whined as the last wave of his orgasm washed over him. He went limp in your arms and rested his face on your chest. Both of you panting and trying to catch your breath. You could feel his heartbeat race a mile a minute through his chest, like gears of a clock. You ran his hands through his soaking wet curls and kissed his damp forehead.

“That was incredible!” Michael gasped after he finally caught his breath. His arms were loosely wrapped around you and he just basked in the glory that was you.

After several silent minutes of lying in a tangled mess of sweaty limbs and crumpled sheets, the two of you properly got under the covers for the night. Michael was worn out and had his back to you, already fast asleep and snoring softly. Usually he never got this tired after sex, but considering the traumatic recollection of the night, him crashing out completely was a given. You snuggled up to him, wrapping an arm tenderly over his waist. You kissed his shoulder.

With a smile you said, “Goodnight, my antichrist.”

[solariseclipse]

Virgil needs Help™

I know this won’t get very far (what with a grand total of 15 followers) but I wrote a depressing ass fanfic so enjoy I guess lol

Prompt: “Did you do all of this to yourself?”

Word Count: About 1.5k

Ship: Moxiety (wow this is a first)

Warning: Cutting (not too descriptive but possibly triggering), crying, and the rest is pretty much fluff (please tell me if you think I should add more)

Virgil rooted himself in the ground, dressed completely naked spare for his underwear, staring at his reflection in the full-length mirror. His broken reflection. He hated looking at himself, but it was a beautiful horror- he couldn’t look away if he tried.

His eyes roamed his body, decorated with scratches and scars, some new, some old. He winced each time he caught sight of a recent scratch, and his otherwise completely still hands twitched.

He couldn’t emphasize enough how much he hated himself, but his body received the most loathing. He was ‘too’ everything. Too skinny, too pale, too scrawny, too short, too ugly, too scratched. Too broken. Everything about him was broken. The scratches didn’t make it better. Some now healed, others… not so much. The last time he did it must’ve been… three nights ago? He didn’t know why he did it, and that only made him feel worse.

He supposed, if he really had too, it was for the horrible combination of dilemmas his life contained. Representing Thomas’ anxiety, that was the emotion he experienced the most. And too much stress could kill someone. Then, there was the never-ending problem that was, in every form, Patton Sanders. The man had single-handedly managed to cause Virgil to second guess anything he was certain about (his inability to love - how could anxiety love? - his certainty that no, he was most definitely not touch starved, among several other ‘truths’) - leaving Virgil a raging dumpster fire of a mess. He managed to ruin Virgil’s life, whilst simultaneously cuddling him, comforting him, and making him feel so many emotions he never had before. And it was absolutely wrecking Virgil. The people who ruined him always managed to woo him - although he wasn’t sure which of the two came first - and that, Virgil decided, would be the death of him.

So, without any other outlet, Virgil took it out on himself. And since mentally wasn’t doing anything except ruining his mental health (because duh), he took it out on himself physically. And yes, that involved cutting (although that seemed much too harsh of a word), and yes Virgil knew how bad cutting was, but maybe everyone was lying - how could something that felt so good be that bad? Besides, he didn’t have a better option. It wasn’t like he could talk to any of them- the other sides- they didn’t need his problems on top of their own.

And still, he didn’t use a knife, or a razor- that scared him too much. A physical blade swiping his skin made him flinch,  worse than anything else ever did. So, he used scissors. Even safety scissors were sharp enough. Anything was sharp enough if he tried.

His eyes wandered,  spotting the mostly faded cuts on his stomach, the month-old ones on his arms (that weren’t completely faded, but still caused concern if spotted), and the freshest ones that ornamented his legs, trailing from his ankle to his inner thigh, up by where his underwear ended.

Tears threatened to fall, but he refused to cry. Because crying meant he didn’t like the scratches- but he did. He liked the sight of the blood prickling at the cuts, bright red contrasting his near white skin, and didn't mind the pain that resulted from them. So he watched. And watched and watched an-

“Kiddo!” Patton burst into his room without warning. Virgil’s fight or flight reflexes kicked in on instinct, and he just managed to throw on a sweater lying on the floor before Patton refocused - momentarily distracted from bursting in and adjusting to the lack of light - and saw the scratches.

“Oh, kiddo.” Virgil winced and looked down at his exposed legs. He didn’t have any pants on.

“Wh..why’d you come in?” Virgil asked, squirming under Patton’s intense gaze. It wasn’t cruel, or mean, but Virgil wasn’t used to so much attention. Especially when he knew exactly what it was for.

“Uh…” Patton faltered, eyes making their way back to the ashamed expression taking form on Virgil’s hollow face, “R-Roman was baking, and burned himself. I just knew you’d burned yourself before, so I figured you’d know what to do. I didn’t knock or anything because he, uh, burned himself pretty bad.” Virgil looked up, thankful for a change of topic, even though he knew how short-lived it would be.

“But Logan’s with Roman,” Patton continued, “so he’ll be okay. But Virge…” Patton’s tone turned compassionate once more. “Why did you… how did you…” Seeing Virgil quickly become overwhelmed, Patton slowed down, “okay, let’s do this slowly and calmly. Firstly: are you...y’know...okay?”

Such a simple question. Four syllables. Three words. But it hit Virgil right in the gut because nobody’s asked him that in so long. Virgil fell to his knees, crying out less because he was ‘emotionally touched’, and more because he landed right on the cuts- and wow that really burns really really bad. And it wasn’t long before tears were falling down Virgil's cheeks, and it doesn’t usually hurt this much, does it?

Immediately, Patton was on the floor too, eye level with the crying side.

“Virge, can I…” Patton hesitated, carefully choosing his words, then took a deep breath, trying again, “can I touch you?” Virgil looked up at him, at precious, sweet, amazing Patton, who was trying so hard, not only to make him feel better but to respect his boundaries, and wow, Virgil really didn’t deserve him, but Patton wasn’t going away any time soon and Virgil’s never loved anyone more in his life. Choked by the whimpers he refused to let slip, he only nodded. This time without hesitation, Patton wrapped his arms around the larger of the two.

No longer able to contain his sobs, Virgil let out a heart-wrenching cry and buried his face in the crook of Patton’s neck.

“Shh, Virgil.” He comforted, doing everything he could to calm down the anxious side. He rubbed small circles around the small of his back, remembering that that soothed him. “I’ve got you, it’s okay. It’s okay to cry- everyone has to cry sometimes.”

Virgil (not so) gladly obliged, bawling into Patton's shoulder,  entirely ruining Patton’s sweater - but not to worry, he had several more, as constantly reassured.

After fifteen minutes of purely crying, Virgil sniffled and pushed himself away from the father figure.

“I’m… I’m okay now.” Patton only frowned.

“No, Virge, I don’t think you are.” In a more hushed tone, he breathed, “Can I… can I see?” Virgil pondered for a moment, considering his options. He could either say no to Patton, which would probably break him (though he wasn’t sure which him he was referring to), and show Patton he was capable of lying to him- which was the worst reputation you could make for yourself with Patton- or he could say yes, seeing as Patton had already seen them, and maybe, though he couldn’t get his hopes up, maybe find someone to talk to. Because, for the love of god, all Virgil wanted was someone to talk to.

Finally making a decision, Virgil nodded and shifted his position so his legs were clearly visible (he was sitting on them before) and Patton’s eyes widened at the tons of cuts that covered both his legs.

Tracing them with his finger, Patton couldn’t help but sympathize for Virgil - no one deserved the pain that he went through. When will people learn that he’s more than just an anxious troublemaker? In a tone so quiet he could barely hear himself, Patton whispered, “did you do all of this to yourself?” It wasn’t like he didn’t already know the answer - he did - but he was so afraid of it, and gosh, he’d never wanted to be this wrong before in his life.

Tears still trickling down his face, Virgil slowly nodded.

“Oh, Virgil.” And Virgil paused because no one’s ever said my name so sweetly before, and maybe scratching isn’t such a good idea after all. “You don’t understand, Virgil.” What? “If not all of us, Virgil, I care about you so much. Virgil,” Gently, Patton cupped Virgil’s chin, gently, as if it would break under the lightest of pressure, “I love you - and I know this isn’t the best time, but I just thought…” Virgil watched Patton with a curious gaze, eyes still glassy from crying. He loves me?! “I don’t know, I just really hate to see you do this to yourself. I…” Virgil filled in for the words Patton couldn’t find.

“I love you too.” It was Patton’s turn to be surprised.

“You…” Virgil nodded, smiling a small smile, but Patton filled with pride all the same because no one gets to see that smile except for me. And it was hard for both of them, because of the pain each was feeling. But still, pulled in a tight hug, embraced by him who loved the other most, they, unbeknownst to each other, shared the thought,

I’m the luckiest man in the world.

[testosteronetuesdays]

one from every category for whoever you like: 3, 26, 50, 72, 89

oh boy. 

idk who you are but you took the bait and now i’m NEVER gonna shut up

3 What is the meaning behind their name? Do they have any nicknames?

oh this is going to be fun as most of my characters don’t use their actual name to avoid the government 

Nox

her name is the same as the roman goddess for night she doesn't have any nicknames yet other then Nox. unfortunately I haven’t figured out what her given name is yet lol

Bai

her name means white. cause she’s albino. ha.ha. i’m so original 🙃 her nickname is little boy blue or lbb on missions or fancy pants when out and about

NotBa

his name means not your dad. :^) his real name is Ezichiel.

Massa

her name is the same as the location for the first Mosque in Africa with the last 2 letters dropped. Her given name is Yusra which means ease or comfort

Hansen

his name means son of Hans. his nickname is Diao which can mean a lot of different things, cool guy, artful, bird of pray.... dick. oh Diao... the twins may have given you this name but that doesn't mean its free of malice...

The Twins

Bigs and Lil’ both are nicknames made up by Bigs about who’s the older sister. (hint: it’s not Bigs) their actual names are Lilly or Baihe (Lil’) and Camillia or Chahua (Bigs)

Alma

her name means kind soul or little girl. she has no nicknames. too pure too good. can’t go on recon missions I love her.

Pegan

their name means that they are a godless heathen just the way they were meant to be. that is their name now. fuck you if you want to change that.

Glitch

see Pegan

Camp

see Glitch

26  Are they aware of their flaws?

Nox

unfortunately no which really stresses her out 

Bai

Nope. sister is clueless but when she does become aware she works her best to correct them

NotBa

He’s painfully aware. it’s killed people in the past.

Massa

she is mostly unaware of her flaws and often thinks she is peak person but if Nox ever actually gets out of her own head to point them out she’d start working on them in a heartbeat

Hansen

surprisingly yes. does he know how to solve the issue ? no. is he stuck in a screaming loop of self hatred over this ? who knows. he’s not gonna tell you.

The Twins

acutely, they are both kids still and haven’t had much time to self reflect but i’d say they are both well on their way to being the most well rounded individuals

Alma

she is perfect. what are you saying ? 

Pegan

yep. that’s why they need others around to balance it all out.

Glitch

see Pegan.

Camp

see Glitch.

50 How would you describe their style of clothing? How would they describe their style of clothing? 

Nox

Nox wears an interesting assortment of shitty clothes you could probably find at hot topic in the scene section but only if you excavated it from a 100 year old dumpster and then hit it with your car. she loves wearing yellow but needs to wear darker colors to sneaky better. she’s a thief at heart and half her clothes are either cut up with a knife to help with the summer heat or stitched together to help with the windy winters

she’d describe her style as one that gets the job done. 

Bai

Bai wears a sort of neo-ming dynasty style. A lot of the clothing is very flowy and reminiscent of one of the last great chinese empires back when their culture was “without corruption”. a political fashion that evolved from Beijing specifically to raise national pride post war as part of their cultural growth efforts. her favorite colours are soft blues accented with purples.

she would describe her style as elegant and modest.

NotBa

NotBa wears patched up clothes, often pieces of his old peace corps uniform that are well worn and soft he has a sweater that he absolutely loves to death. Cable knit and comfortable as all hell. he’s almost always wearing his Kippa and tzitzit. his favorite colours are dark green and cream colours

he would say his style is a reminder to him about his past and his promises for the future. except his sweater. he fuckin loves that sweater

Massa

Massa wears clothes that are more so something you might find in the 90′s dull pinks, blues and purples accented with her turquoise scarf that she pulls up for prayer. she often wears pull over fleecy sweaters with a zipper that ends around her chest. you know the one.

She would describe her style as functional but colorful

Hansen

Hansen wears yoga capris he stitched pockets on to create cargos. that’s all you need to know about him. he is horrible and every day I have to spend thinking about him is a day robbed from me.

He would say he has the best style. functional, comfortable and unique.

The Twins

Bigs wears a worn out backwards baseball cap (cause she is a cool 90′s kid and a little bby buch lesbian) almost always while rocking that good old blue rainboots, shorts, sweater combo. Lil’ has a hair clip with a plastic flower on it (again think 90s for these kids) she at least tucks her zip off cargo pants into her pink rainboots but makes up for her common sense by leaving her coat tied around her waist almost always so she’s running around in a tank top all the time. Bigs loves wearing blues and darker colours while Lil’ loves pinks and softer colours.

they would both say their styles suit them just fine and if you have anything to say about it they don’t care.

Alma

Alma loves flowy skirts and stripes, she often wears a striped long sleeved shirt paired with a tea length skirt and work boots. she often wears thermal leggings to fight off the cold because of this but she doesn't care. she feels cute. she loves to wear soft and light greens and darker colors or black. a pencil is almost always tucked into her braids and if she hasn’t already added pockets to her outfit she’s wearing her pocket belt. made from an old army jacket.

She would discribe her style as not very practical but pretty.

Pegan

Pegan learned how to sew as a child and oh my god. you can tell. think punk queer trash meets high fashion but make it functional. They love to take formal wear rip it apart and add fishnets or a tear away skirt or just mix men's and women's fasion. They are a drag performer after all. Pegan also wears heavy heavy makeup most of the time to help fool the facial recognition technology littered throughout the city.

They would discribe their style as incredibly practical and calculated. Everything they wear has a reason

Glitch

Glitch wears a lot of black accented with neon blues. Think scene but also hacker geek chic and you have glitch. Zei also have to make a lot of zeir clothes comfortable to wear while using a chair and Pegan is usually more then happy to help.

Zei would discribe zeir style as being very fasion and not to much function. Zei are all about the aesthetics

Camp

Camp wears a lot of loose clothing especially pants but prefers a tighter shirt. turtle necks are also a big thing in his wardrobe even if it's a sleeveless one.

He has no idea how to discribe his style he's blind. Comfortable for him and it makes all the wrong people uncomfortable which is just a bonus to him.

72 would they rather have stability or comfort?

Oh fuck

Nox

For her it's the same thing. To be stable is to be comfortable

Bai

Comfort. She's stupid rich. She dosen't know what instability is.

NotBa

Comfort. Stability can follow but he just wants to rest. This man is so. Fucking. Tired.

Massa

Stability. See Nox.

Hansen

Comfort. He has had one of the more stable up bringings having been with Notba the longest and would like to feel some of that sweet sweet comfort.

The Twins

Stability. They are the newest to the haven and are still getting used to it all

Alma

Comfort. See Hansen.

Pegan

To be comfortable is to be stable. They are one in the same.

Glitch

Comfort. For glitch having all their acess needs met with less work would be much more welcome then stability any day.

Camp

Stability. He had some of the most unstable upbringings you can imagine. He'd like to feel what it's like to have both feet on solid ground for once.

89 what is their dnd alignment?

Ok now I KNOW who sent this...

Nox

True neutral I'd say. She's ok with doing stuff with the law if it fits her situation but she has 0 issues breaking it too. Has no strong feelings about the government as she dosen't really have time to think about it. She just needs to survive.

Bai

Chaotic good. This girl grew up sheltered but then someone pegan told her what crime was and she has never looked back she goes hard for the resistance and gives no shits that they were resisting her like 3 minutes ago. Fuck the system.

NotBa

Lawful good. This man. He is so tired. He will turn a blind eye to your crimes and pretend he has no idea what is going on but you can not pay him to commit a crime. Lit.er.ally.

Massa

Chaotic nuteral. She does what will benefit her the most while causing a little chaos along the way. As a treat.

Hansen

Lawful neutral. He does what will benefit him and his family and will do so in a way that causes the least amount of trouble.

The Twins

Chaotic good. These girls know what is UP. They hate the government. They want it to go DOWN they will break every law they can on the way to doing it.

Alma

Lawful neutral. She can not legally commit a crime except existing I guess but she has no strong feelings either way about the government. Mainly because she spends almost all of her time in the haven

Pegan

Chaotic good. You can fit so many felonies into this bad them. *slaps ass like a car hood* Pegan helps lead the resistance. They love crimes and being a criminal. Everything they do is a crime. Their clothes? Stolen. The money they have? It's from sex work. The bagel they are eating? Made in an illigal bakery that follows religious laws which are illigal with the money that they got from doing illigal things. Gay rights !

Glitch

Neutral good. Won't go out of zir way to commit a crime and prefers to play it by the book but also fuck the government you feel ?

Camp

Lawful neutral. If pressed will commit a crime but frankly it makes him anxious and he would really rather stay home and make soup.

[inkofamethyst]

December 25, 2018

ALL THESE COLLEGE ESSAYS REALLY MAKIN’ ME RECONSIDER MY FUTURE GOALS

oh and merry christmas

BUT FO’ REAL THO

I GOT TWELVE ESSAYS DUE JANUARY FIRST AND THEY’VE CAUSED ME NOTHING BUT MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF GRIEF AND SELF-DOUBT AND STRESS

NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT THEY’RE ALL JUST HOT, STINKY GARBAGE ESSAYS

...except the one that uses DnD as an extended metaphor.  I like that one more than any essay I’ve written, I think lol look at that now I’ve jinxed it and that one is probably gross too.

anyway

I got a new laptop for Christmas.  It’s cool-lookin’ and powerful but big and heavy.  Hopefully I won’t be one of those kids who ends up carrying around their laptop everywhere because mine is way too big for that.  It’s not like I’m going to be an engineering major, but alas, I didn’t have to pay for it, so I can’t really complain about it.

I also got a leather-bound journal and I love it.  It’s lined with a designated area for the date and it’s got a little leather string thing that wraps around it twice and I love it.  I love journals.  I’m nearing the end of two of them (that’s never happened before!) and I’m super excited to start a new one.  The only problem is that beginning a new journal is a Big Deal because you have to have the right First Page and the right First Entry and everything needs to be good about it.  You know, I also want a journal that looks like a spell tome from Skyrim.  It doesn’t have to have the symbol on it, but I want a hardcover journal that looks magical and fantasy-ish.  That’s my the aesthetic that I want to build.  Fantasy-ish.  Yeah...

I got some cash and also a dice bag that’s slightly bigger than my previous one.

Did I mention that I got a scholarship for choice 8?  It’s a state school, sure, but everything helps.  Can’t remember if I mentioned it earlier, but I found out about it on Sunday.

I also found out that my choice 4 could release decisions as soon as January 17, rather than February 1, two days after the decisions for choice 2 are released.  Boy, that’ll be a week, won’t it.  And then choice 9 could come out a full week ahead of the scheduled February 1.  Incredible.  I mean, it’s still a long time to wait, especially because I applied EA/priority, but it’s nice that it could be ahead of schedule.  Everything so far except choice 3 has been ahead of schedule, actually.  That’s nice.

One of my friends got me a super fuzzy brown blanket and it’s so fluffy and warm and I love it.  Ugh!  I love being warm so much during the winter.  Just so cozy.  Thank you, my Beyonce-friend.

Oh and I got this cute white sweater that I love!  It’s sort of cropped and it has a wide v-neck and I just really like it.  It goes well with my skin tone and shows off my collar bone (I love my collar bone omg).  Also it’s soft and that’s required of any sweater that I wear from now on because itchy sweaters are a thing of my youth.

I got other stuff but that’s the main jazz.

I’m torn between reading a book and listening to Critical Role.  On one hand, I really need to catch up on Critical Role.  On the other hand, I’ve got this stack of used books that I desperately want to finish reading.  And I never have time to read for fun while school is in session... so I’ll probably read.

You know how people do those one-person a capella compilations?  Well, I want to do one of those.  I would really love to sing all most (I can’t beatbox) of the Pentatonix parts to one of their Christmas songs because those arrangements are incredible.  The only issue would be the bass part.  I could probably take it up the octave, but I don’t know if that’ll impede on the alto part?  Anyway I’d figure that out.  But yeah, that’s something that I’d like to do.

Today I’m thankful for the fact that I am fortunate enough to receive gifts on Christmas day.

Yo I can’t wait to get those stupid essays submitted tomorrow.  I literally never want to ever read them again after tomorrow.  And then I’ve got a few days before I have to submit more essays for scholarships... ugh.  This process is killing me.

I also can’t wait for my last four decisions to roll in.  Good times.

Night y’all.