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#the sweetest Alice there ever was
jarofalicesgrunge · 7 months
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Alice In Chains at Backstage Autograph session with Suicidal Tendencies. Sydney, Australia, October 28, 1993.
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ithinkitstimetonap · 4 months
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todays party was my favourite of all of them omfg
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alucardstears · 2 years
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aliciasfantasyxox · 1 year
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@itadori-yujiii I luv you<33
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amourcheol · 1 year
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i have a few things to say and first of all i’d like to say how dare you? genuinely, how dare you? you are absolutely insane
the way i went through an entire rollercoaster of emotions that went from pure despise to shedding actual real salty tears is sickening, i want to yell at you fr
to repeat myself: how dare you? how dare you write such a fic that left me in shambles, on my knees, crying in a walmart parking lot, going through as many divorces as txt did for lovesong, bawling my eyes out, throwing myself against a wall and did i mention i cried?
jesus christ dear god goodness gracious holy mother mary i am NOT okay, it is 5am and i need to work tomorrow (more like getting up in 1 hour to leave for work) and i just could NOT stop reading your cheol work, i HAD to know how it ends, i could physically not handle not knowing how it plays out
first of all id like to say that the way you write is pure poetry, the words and descriptions you use are so rich in detail (like the paintings hehe) and gave your fic so so so soooo much life and depth, your writing style is just so mwah mwah 5 star michelin level, i can not stress enough how incredibly good your writing is
and the plot???? i saw 41k words and was legit like 👁️👄👁️->🫥->🤨-> 🥶 because i have the brain capacity of a fly that just flew against a window at full speed but OH GOD reading it was SO worth it and let me tell you, the plot was so good ???? like never did i ever even think about skipping a paragraph ahead
also, the way you wrote the characters is so good i don’t know if i want to throw something at you or smooch your brain, you really said enemies to lovers and not:
person a: “i don’t like you.”
person b: “fine i hate you too”
person a : “shall we still kiss?”
person b: “okay”
you legit said you’re whipping out a steven spielberg quentin tarantino oscar worthy plot i’d pay for to see in a movie because DAMN the characters (especially cheol lmao) were so well written and had SO much depth to them
next up, the scenes, THE SCENES
i hope you know you took my heart, shredded it, let birds pick it apart, threw it into the smoothie mixer and blended it, cut it with a chainsaw and then made it combust with that scene with cheol and his uncle talking about how he is in love and risking his career
also, the way you gave the nickname so much depth???? how did you even come up with that like??? your brain is built different, i swear if you were to take an x ray it’d be heart shaped because WHAT i SOBBED and i CRIED like actual water in my eyes down my cheeks, that was so cute, so precious and so tooth rotting sweet i want to run into a streetlight i could not handle that part of the plot i am still in shambles i want to sob every time i think back like ?????? (not spoiling anything specific here BUT AH THIS WAS SO KSKSKSKS)
in conclusion, i’d like to throw something at you for attacking the entire fandom like that BUT i would also like to wholeheartedly thank you for putting so much time and effort and thinking and love and brain capacity (yes your heart shaped brain, prove me wrong!) into that fic which is so so long but so full of plot and plot twists and lovely details and in total so lovingly written, your writing style is so nice like ???? the whole fic is a giant piece of art for real, thank you so much for blessing us with this, i wish you all the best and someone like the cheol you wrote to be your special someone, you deserve someone kind and caring and loving and only wanting the best for you because that is what you deserve
also i wrote this in a rush of emotions it is 5am my brain is dead and there might be typos grammar mistakes anything of the sort but i’d like to say i don’t know you but i love you sm for putting this out i hope i gets the appreciation it deserves and mwah i hope you’re having a great day
oh my fucking god this ASK THIS FUCKING ASSKKKK 😭💖💖🩷🩷💖💖😞😞😞💖😭🩷🩷💖 CURRENTLY SCREAMING CRYING INTO MY PILLOW SHITTING MY PANTS GIGGLING EXPERIENCING RESURGENCE OF GIRLHOOD
TXT DIVORCES SCR E AMMMING GGG G what i like to do is HURT BITCHES ☝🏼😍 WAIT SCREAM 5AM ??;£;£: OH MY FOD I HOPE U WERENT TOO SLEEP DEPRIVED RHE NEXT DAY IM SO SORRY 😭😭👹👹👹👹👹
5 star Michelin level 😞😞😞💖💖😞💖💖😞💖💖😞💖 PLEASEEE im so glad u enjoyed the paintings description!! the art whore in me is very very happy 😞😭
A STEVEN SPIELBERG QUENTIN TARANTINO STAWPPPPPP ITTTT STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY I WILL KISS YOU 😞😞😭😭🥹🥹🩷 i was so nervous about pacing their hatred/love because I didn’t want them to just fall in love w each other quickly cause it wouldn’t be realistic at all !! thank u for appreciating that 🥹💖
SCR E WAMINGGGG UR WAY W WORDS ARE MILES BETTER THAN MINE ?;£:!3£33 UR TOO FUNYN LFMAOA I’m glad I had this much of an effect 😍🙏🏼 i will take being thrown shit at for my work LMDAO
HEART SHAPED BRAIN 😞💖💖😞💖 I’m so so happy u enjoyed the nickname bit cause idk nicknames are such an important aspect of ur identity and cheol is such a cute fucking nickname i feel like shitting screaming crying over it whenever I see him so i needed to express that 🙏🏼🙏🏼
OH GOD UR LITERALLY SO INSANELY SWEET??? I could only hope i find a man as insanely kind, beautiful, endearing as cheol (me and him would eat each other alive)
thank YOU for the kindest words, your ESSAYYTT of a review 😞😞😞💖💖💖💖 i honestly wasn’t expecting anything like this when I released cheol fic, but it’s people like you that make posting worth it 🩷🩷💖
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mxliv-oftheendless · 2 years
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Okay hear me out: Hart to Hart AU with Arisu and Usagi but they’re platonic soulmates in a QPR that go around the world having fun together and occasionally have to solve murder mysteries.
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moonstruckme · 8 months
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Remus is the type to keep a rubberband or a scrunchie on his wrist for his s/o
I believe that he started keeping it when sirius's hair got long in 4th year and he used to forget a hair tie everywhere.
When remus started dating reader he began keeping one particularly in their favorite colour but never let anyone know.
I can just imagine reader at a house party going around asking each girl for a rubberband cuz she forgot hers and he just pulls one out of nowhere and hands it to them wordlessly (or just holds his wrist in front of them and their eyes light up)
Would be awesome if you write smth abt this <3
Thanks for requesting :)
cw: alcohol, reader has hair long enough to tie back
Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 560 words
Remus’ eyes track you as you ping-pong around the party, stopping to talk to people for only a handful of seconds before finding another target. He’s not trying to be a creep, but you’ve reached a stage of the night where a bit of supervision is necessary. Your eyes are alight and your smile comes easy, and when you pivot and a bit of punch sloshes onto your hand you don’t even notice. 
You go from Lily, to Sirius, to Marlene, to Alice, back to Lily, and then aim for the kitchen. 
“Hi, sweetheart,” Remus intercepts you, setting a hand on your shoulder and steering you discretely away from any potential refills. “Having a good time?” 
“Mhm.” You grin up at him, distracted by the movement of his hand up your shoulder to cup the side of your neck. You shrug and tilt your head, squishing his hand between them, and Remus indulges you by poking your dimple with his thumb. You giggle, delighted. “I’m looking for Mary. Have you seen her?” 
He thinks for a moment. “Not lately, no. Want help looking?” 
“Sure.” You catch at his other hand with both of yours, intertwining your fingers messily. “I just need to ask her something.”
“What’s that?” he asks as you start to tug him towards the kitchen. 
“I’m sick of my hair.” You blow a piece of it away from your face, vexation twinging in your features. “I wanna know if she has a hair tie I can borrow.” 
“Oh, wait.” He stops, pulling you closer before taking his hand from between yours. “Hold on a second.” 
You look up at Remus curiously, not protesting when he turns you around by your shoulders and begins gathering your hair in his hands. He takes care to comb the errant strands around your face and the nape of your neck up with the rest, confining it all to a loose ponytail. 
“S’that alright?” 
“I didn’t know you carry a hair tie,” you murmur, almost to yourself, as you go towards a small mirror mounted on the wall. “Remus!” Your voice goes up an octave, elated. “It’s my favorite color!” 
“I know,” he says, a bit smug. It only worsens when you spin around and throw your arms around his waist. Remus hums contentedly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, and you tilt your head back, chin digging into his sternum as you beam up at him. 
“You’re so good to me,” you gloat. “How long’ve you been carrying that around for?” 
“A while,” he says vaguely, because Since you told me your favorite color makes him sound like a loser and in your current state he’s not entirely sure you wouldn't start crying. “I’m used to having one for Sirius anyway, so it was really just a color adjustment.” 
Your eyes go all soft and smitten, your bottom lip jutting out a bit even through your smile. “You’re the sweetest boy I ever met,” you tell him, sincerity coating your words like honey. 
Remus rolls his eyes to dodge the compliment, opting instead to take your face between his hands and squishing your cheeks together. You let him without complaint, your smile going mushy. “You make me do sweet things,” he says. 
You hum like you know the truth but you’ll let him get away with it anyway.
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alice westergaard + voice
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ACCENT: “country” / “backwoods” / “sailor” / “upper class” / “city slicker” / foreign speaker / refined
ELOQUENCE: educated / self-taught / uneducated / doesn’t use conjunctions / shortens words / omits entire words on occasion / mixes up words / just makes up their own words / archaic english / dependent on mood or setting / doesn’t use contractions
TONE: loud / soft / room volume / high pitched / low pitched / seductive / velvety / speech impediment / abrasive / gruff / shrill / booming / matter-of-fact / toneless / husky / gravelly / breathy / nasal / barking / chatty / condescending / musical / suave / world-weary / brash / authoritative
HABITS: refers to self in third person / incorporates different languages/terms/sayings / uses gender-specific terms / adapts to audience / changes pitch around animals or children / shifts tone when lying / gives others nicknames / uses terms of respect towards others
OTHER BITS: alice speaks fluent norwegian /danish/finnish (whichever scandinavian tongue they speak in arendelle and the southern isles) and relies on that at home on the isle and later in arendelle. hans taught his children to speak the isle’s common tongue as well. that’s why she speaks more like a noblewoman than most on the isle do. that being said, the roughness of the isle has it’s place in her voice as well.
VOICE CLAIM REFERENCE: josefine frida petterson ( link to post about it here, with audios) 
tagged by: @songeurame​
tagging: VIEWERS LIKE YOU!!
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cranberryjuice-posts · 8 months
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Abby Anderson modern day head-cannons
Parings - Abby Anderson if the apocalypse never happened
Tw- some nsfw at the end
An- this is both In general headcannons and relationships
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Abbys father is a neurosurgeon so mans is loaded bro 😭- abby def went to one of those hella expensive private schools.
She’s kinda old and new money
So Abby can go three ways ok
The typical basic blonde IT girl
Straight girl on the weight lifting team
Muscular masculine lesbian
I think we all know which one makes the most sense.
Abby wouldn’t come out to her father about being a lesbian until like high school
I’m pretty sure her mom died in the beginning of the apocalypse but it could be safe to assume that she’s also a doctor in modern day
Abby would of gone to a really good university and become a neurosurgeon like her father
While in medical school she met Nora and Mel - they knew Owen and manny and that’s how the group all met
She would of definitely done sports - so sports Abby did would be
Weightlifting
Basketball
Ice hockey
She’ll go online and see the thirst edits and comments about her and laugh because she’s not only flattered but she’ll find multiple women who are her type and like their comments.
HEAVVVYYY against college parties like girly is a student athlete and on a scholarship for her medical degree — she’s always studying and doesn’t want to do anything to ruin her scholarship
After she gets her degree she works in a well known and high paying hospital
Got a German Shepard and named her Alice
Graduated top of her class
A big football fan and if her school has a football team she would go to every home game.
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You and Abby most likely met in college.
you two met after both taking a same extracurricular.
she had to actually prep talk herself into actually going up to you and talking to you
once she actually asked you out she was freaking out over wether or not you actually liked her (she had Nora help her pick out an outfit)
after a few dates she awkwardly asked if she could be your girlfriend. You said yes of-course
At first you thought the relationship would be hard since Abby’s always busy but much to your surprise she always made time for you
After like a week together she took you to meet her parents, you were anxious as her parents were well known medical professionals but they welcomed you with open arms
Once she introduced you to the friend group you knew you were stuck with her.
Is overly protective of you- a guy hits on you she’s passive aggressively getting into his face. Some girls are starting drama with you - she’ll tell them to fuck off . A teacher is refusing to take your paper late - Abby will go have a one on one possibly bribe the teacher to take your paper.
If you did well on exams she’ll take you out to a nice resturant however if you did poor she’ll reassure you take you to a comfort food restaurant and help you study next time.
Outside Abby’s the sweetest most gentle person you’ve ever seen however in the bedroom it’s completely different
Abby is the type of woman to take her time devouring you. She would spend hours between your thighs with her tongue on your clit and her thick fingers pumping in and out of you painfully slow
She can either be soft and loving whispering sweet nothings into your ear taking her time with you compaired to when she lost an important game or is stressed out about exams she’ll fuck you like no tomorrow, denying you your orgasm and degrading you, with her thick strap deep into you
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damn-stark · 2 months
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Chapter 15 I was born something
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Chapter 15 of Moonlight
A/N- Soulmatism is both being called to power at the same time, one shrouded by darkness and the other illuminated by bright flames.
Warning- Swearing, talks of pregnancy and sexual harassment, ser gwayne (not bad I just want to say he's in this chapter tehe) angst!!, fluff!!, SPOILERS, LONG CHAPTER.
Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader
Episode- 2x05-and the very beginning of 2x06
(If you want to be tagged let me know)
————
He listened to your breaths as they came and went. They’re calm, and the most sweetest song.
Worry once plagued him, it clashed into him the moment he saw you falling under that fainting spell, he was lucky to have been so close otherwise, you would have hit the ground. Yet he didn't take that as a sign of luck at that moment. His worry brought out the worst of his anger he is willing to admit, but why shouldn’t he be upset?
He saw you fall, you could have been dying, and there’s nothing that he could’ve done to prevent death from taking you away from him, so all he knew how to be was desperate. There was no other emotion that would’ve felt right, not even as the maester was checking you.
Did it help in that situation? No, you would have told him that, his mother would have told him that, but he didn’t care, he was terrified until the exact moment the maester revealed you were with child with twins. He felt a bliss wash over him at that moment, like the sun breaking through dark clouds made by a raging storm.
Yet his worry was all but gone, it lingers even still, like sprinkling rain after the worst of the storm. He admires you as you sleep, he admires the way the sun kisses your soft skin making you illuminate even more divine than you already are. He takes note of the way your eyelashes kiss your skin, and the way your lips gently rest on each other. He could watch you for hours on end, his peace in the chaos of the world, his way of life; without you, life would be dull, lifeless, bleak, black and white, boring, and almost pointless.
How could other people find a way to love someone else? Sure he seeked company in someone, it’s his greatest sin and he will never commit it again. Not even if you die. If it was his responsibility to have more children to secure his succession then he would do his duty, but he wouldn’t love her, he would think of you, your smile, your laugh, your beauty, your touch, and your enchanting song because he knows no one would ever love him like you love him.
It’s pretty foolish of you to love him after what he’s done to break your heart, but for some reason, you keep clinging onto him like when you were young. You had a chance to escape, to laugh and point with the others, but you never did, and you never have. It’s perhaps the only weakness in you, but he’s grateful, blessed, and glad that you continue to love him unconditionally.
It’s why he has to protect you. You and your son—your children.
“Aemond.”
He hears the call and looks at the intruder who barged in without warning; seeing his mother walking in with worry filtered in her big brown eyes.
“How is she?” She asks.
Aemond returns his attention to you in hopes you’ll wake soon and continues to stroke your knuckles with his thumb as he refuses to let your hand go.
“The maester said she will be fine,” Aemond shares. “It was her grief and the fact that she did not eat.”
Alicent walks down the two steps that lead to the bed and watches her son and his refusal to miss a single breath that escapes you.
“How did you tell her?” She asks with a hint of judgment clinging onto her. “I hope you did not just blurt it. She may be on our side, but the others are still her family that she loves, you need to be careful when you share such dark words.”
Aemond huffs and turns his head to pass her a brief glare that she misses as she watches you.
“Did you know?” He asks and chooses not to comment on the fact that he knows how to talk to you, he’s no imbecile. “She’s with child.”
Alicent’s brown eyes find him and he quickly looks back at you. “Yes, Helaena told me last night. She just found out, which is why I warn you that you need to be—”
“I know,” he cuts his mother off impatiently. “I know how to talk to her. I’m no fool. I’m not…mhm,” he chooses to leave Aegon out of the conversation.
“Twins, Helaena says,” Alicent chooses to ignore what was at the tip of his tongue and reaches the foot of the bed to watch Aemond and his short-lived bliss. “Congratulations. You must be happy.”
Aemond tilts his head, making his hair cascade over his shoulder and hide the faint smile that tugs on his lips, and stays while he reaches his hand over to caress your belly with a feathered touch.
Before he can express his joy, or give any positive reaction at all, he takes a deep breath as if the next words that are coming out of him are going to hurt to say, causing his happiness to dimishness as worry makes itself plain to see.
“One…twin is smaller than the other the maester says,” he says in a voice that’s so rare for Alicent to hear nowadays. “What does that mean?”
He looks over at his mother for help, for reassurance that it will be fine. As if her words were the salvation.
“Just that,” she tries to comfort Aemond’s worry that begins to ache her own heart even if she tries hard to fight it. “Sometimes it tends to happen with twins, one takes more than the other, but,” she breathes out deeply and looks at you with more worry than she offered her son. “It’s still early, it will resolve.”
Aemond’s eye stays on his mother to take in more comfort but when he finds none his eyes return to you and tries to believe the little help his mother offered with a faint smile—No, he smirks now and this time Alicent doesn’t miss it.
“This war will take a lot from us, but my children will be the future of my house. I will make sure of it,” he says, making Alicent’s lips twitch to a frown while her eyebrows knit together with conflict brought by his choice of words.
A gleam proceeds to catch her eyes and when she locates where it comes from, she sees Aegon’s Valyrian steel dagger strapped to his belt as if it was a trophy he won and needed to show off to everyone who had eyes.
“Be easy on her,” Alicent musters as she breathes out her conflict. “And don’t involve her in your warpath, Aemond.”
He scoffs but doesn’t counter, he instead interjects softly. “She won’t be happy about it.”
Alicent chuckles breathlessly. “No, she will not, it seems she inherited her ferocity from both parts of her family.”
He hums and slides his hand away from your belly to cup your hand with both of his large hands to be able to bring your hand up and kiss your knuckles.
“She won’t wake,” Aemond mutters ever so softly with a hint of desperation that escapes as if asking for help without outright expressing it at this moment where it’s just her and him.
“Give her time,” she offers him some console. “The maester said she will be fine, so she shall. She’s lost a lot in a short time…it’s not easy. “
Aemond answers with silence whilst he brings your hand down to rest it on the bed without letting it actually escape from the security of his hold.
“My Prince,” a third visitor interjects in the silence and steals the attention of both Aemond and Alicent. “King Aegon’s carriage is approaching the city.”
At the mention, Aemond sits up straight, and that softness that his features were cast under slowly hardens just as he gives the guard a response. “Let me know when he’s reached the Red Keep.”
Alicent watches the guard take in Aemond’s demand without hesitance before he takes off, leaving her troubled by her conflict as she watches her son act too unbothered by what befell his brother.
He should be furious, but his rage is missing. He should be overcome with worry that his King and older brother was wounded in battle, but his worry is just placed on you and you alone.
——
*YOU*
She was there, the day you touched the clouds for the first time. She was there when you knew nothing was better than being a part of the never-ending sky. She was there because the first dragon you ever rode was Meleys.
“My mother was seven years old when she first took to the skies,” you remember pointing out with disappointment because you just turned seven and you could not mount your dragon yet. You were too young, your mother said.
You never realized then that she was just protecting you, after all the sickness that plagued you since you were a babe had barely been expelled from your body, she just wanted to make sure that nothing took you from her just as she was assured you would live a long life after all.
Nevertheless, that disappointment was short-lived, your grandmother had made sure of that.
“Actually I talked to your mother and guess what?” She began to tease you while you caressed Meleys’ snout much to your dragon's jealousy.
“What is it?” You’re too impatient to play.
A smile brightens her face before she gives you the answer. “You can fly with me. I know it’s not the same as flying your own dragon, but that time will come soon. As for now, we can mount Meleys together and we can take to the skies together as a name day present from me.”
You remember the joy that overcame you at that moment. Sure you still wanted to mount your own dragon, but her offer did satisfy that desire. It is like having a snack when you’re hungry, it does not fulfill you but it does keep you satisfied for a while. That’s how it was. You were satisfied at that moment, you were happy to be in the sky. It was the best moment of your life, you knew you would die happy if death had chosen to take you that day.
It was an exaggeration, of course, you realized that not long after, but you were only seven then and you were in the clouds for the first time. You could finally stop imagining how they felt because you could feel the moistness soak your fingertips as you tried to reach them while Meleys ascended higher. And when she was lost within the fluffy white clouds, the water soaked your face, but you did not care. You were carefree.
Nothing occupied your mind at that moment, nothing worried you. You felt as weightless as the clouds, and you beamed as bright as the sun in the sky. Your dreams hadn’t come true yet, you needed to take to the skies on the back of your own dragon, but the gift of flying for the first time was all thanks to her. She gave you that experience, she made you happy at that moment and never failed to make you happy as you got older. She never stopped protecting you…but…you did fail her.
You’re in King’s Landing for a reason, aren’t you? To report to your family the war plans, the comings and goings of the most valuable members in the Green faction, the decisions that are made around the council table, and any other plans that the Green council may have. You’re here to warn your family so they can get an advantage, so they can get closer to the throne, so they don’t run such a high risk of getting wounded or dying. But your grandmother died regardless.
You failed her, you failed them. You failed at the one thing you were supposed to do and now you lost someone else you love. And the crazy thing is that you don’t hate or blame Aemond for what happened, you blame yourself.
The weight of guilt lies on you because you couldn’t do the one thing you were supposed to do. Because no matter how hard you try you can’t be something valuable. That’s all you wanted, that’s why you left in the first place, to prove to your mother that you could be reliable, that you can be a fierce warrior, that you aren’t just a princess in a castle, and that you can be so much more. You wanted to be so much more, prove to her that you can be important, valuable, and fierce. That part of you is there, you wanted to show her that, but your grandmother died, and with her lies that fight. You feel like nothing now…
Daemon would be so mad…and you shouldn't care what he has to think about you, but how can you not after you failed so miserably? After your grandmother died and her dragon along with her?
You’re mad at yourself—no, you’re furious at yourself. If you had been better perhaps she would still be alive.
“Ready?” You tug yourself away from your train of thought and focus on Aerion before you grab a raw piece of meat from the bowl beside you, and place it down in front of his hatchling.
“Shrykos, <Dracarys>,” you command.
Shrykos tilts her little head before blinking and glancing at Aerion as if waiting for the okay. But your son can’t answer, he just watches Shrykos, and the hatchling watches him.
“Shrykos, <Dracarys>,” you repeat the command, making the hatchling now look at the piece of meat in front of her before she opens her mouth and lets out a small blast of fire.
Aerion watches the fire engulf the small piece of meat, the way the flames come out of his dragon's mouth to cook the meat and he can’t help but giggle and wave his fat little arms.
“<Good job, Shrykos,>” you praise the hatchling.
Aerion’s head turns to you and he coos, making a smile spread on your mournful face. “Shrykos,” you repeat to your son, making him study you before he coos after you as if trying to say his dragon's name too.
“Yes!” You clap. “She’s your dragon. Shrykos.”
Aerion coos the same way again and his dragon this time scurries over to him to sit in between his legs.
“Your mother would be delighted to see the way he interacts with his dragon,” Vanessa comments, making you smile wider.
“She would,” you muse and reach over to try and caress your son's head, but you must have reached out to him too quickly because suddenly Shrykos snaps her head towards you and shrieks out at you.
“<Whoa,>” you gasp in surprise yet also awe because she’s grown to be so protective in such a short time. Jacaerys was right, having Aerion bond with a dragon can protect him in ways some guards can’t.
“<It's okay. Calm down, girl.>” You try to ease her worry. “<Calm.>”
The dragon’s eyes don’t leave you for a solid minute, she watches you carefully until Aerion starts to cry.
“She meant no harm,” you assure him as you’re able to grab him now and bring him up with you as you stand to your given height, causing the hatchling to flap her delicate wings to perch herself on your shoulder and remain close to Aerion.
“It’s okay,” you continue to try to console him before you wipe away his tears and press a kiss on his cheek.
Shrykos watches the interaction and stretches her neck out to coo softly at Aerion as if trying to mimic you in calming him down.
“See? She’s just worried about you,” you tell Aerion, and he sniffles just seconds before his attention focuses on the pendant that you found around your neck after you woke up.
“Of course,” you mutter with an amused smile and watch him grab your pendant before he yanks it back towards him, pulling a gasp out of your mouth. “Gods.”
Aerion pulls the pendant to his mouth but you grab his hand and shake your head. Yet before you can pull the pendant away, the doors open and snatch your attention to your husband walking in and coming to an immediate halt when he sees you on your feet.
“Aemond,” you greet him with a faint smile.
Said man takes a step forward and his eye studies you hard as if making sure you’re really there, that you’re not some ghost set out to bid a last goodbye; while also trying to figure out if your smile directed at him is real or feigned. After all, you both know who brought down Meleys and your grandmother. It wasn’t Aegon you both knew that.
Yet no matter how hard or how long his eye remains fixated on you, that sweet smile doesn’t falter or fade, that smile on your face turns to a grin actually.
“What is it?” You break him from his stupor whilst also trying to tug your pendant away from Aerion’s mouth.
“You…” Aemond trails off and finally breaks away from the cast your mere presence put him under to close the distance that keeps you apart. “You should be abed. Not on your feet.”
You roll your eyes and approach Vanessa to hand Aerion to her, causing the little hatchling to disembark your shoulder and instead fly over to Vanessa’s.
“I’m fine,” you direct at Aemond as you turn to face him and find your body moving toward him. “I ate, I—”
“Vanessa,” Aemond snaps at your handmaiden with a glower that you get in between.
“Stop, don’t snap at her, talk to me,” you ease the worry you see weighing down on him.
Aemond’s eye flickers to you, but he also wants to scold Vanessa for not keeping you abed where you’ll be safe so he parts his lips to argue, but you finally meet him halfway and grab his arm, focusing all his attention back to you as if you were the center of the universe.
“Leave her be. I stood up, you know that. I am not an invalid, I just should've been more careful,” you add to your case. “But I ate. I’m feeling stronger already.”
His chest rises high as he takes in a deep frustrated breath before he lets it all go and is left with worry.
Before you can continue to address the matter at hand though, you turn your attention to Vanessa. “Take him to Helaena and Jaehaera, she has Morghul out too, he and Shrykos can bond.”
Vanessa nods and doesn’t linger behind, she leaves your quarters rather quickly, leaving you to face your husband and slide your hand down his arm to grab his hand.
“I’m fine,” you tell him one more. “The news just didn’t settle well, plus I was on an empty stomach, it all just overwhelmed me, but I’m fine…we’re fine,” you finish in a whisper and pull his hand toward you to press his palm against your belly.
“I’m sure the maester broke the news,” you continue with a proud smile that he misses because he watches your intertwined hands caressing the spot where your twins are growing.
“Twins,” he whispers with no worry clinging to his voice, it's soft and full of awe just like his eye.
“That’s why I haven’t been feeling hungry, and why I’ve been uncomfortable,” you address the matter. “They’re the reason.”
Aemond’s eye goes to you and now endearment also accompanies the already sweet feelings his eye expresses. You want to follow up with more, but your lips part, and a single breath escapes past your lips as you stand there feeling seen, appreciated, and loved under his gaze, but also feeling worry and guilt strike your heart as he looks at you.
You want to share it, you want to spill out what troubles you, but your words get caught in your throat when Aemond goes down on one knee and presses a gentle kiss on your belly before he rests his forehead against it.
Now at this very moment, the tension of war is forgotten completely. You exist only in your bliss.
“I wanted to tell you. I had half the mind to fly to Rook’s Rest the moment I found out to tell you, but I resisted my urge,” you share as you swing your arm around his head to caress it gently as he keeps his forehead pressed against your belly. “So can you just pretend I told you and that the maester didn’t ruin it?”
He chuckles softly and tilts his head up to meet your gaze as he remains on one knee. “He also told me about one of them being smaller than the other.” He brings up and the blissful paradise comes crumbling down as the guilt and the worry return.
“Yes, he told me too…” you trail off and gulp. “I-I don’t know what that means. He said he’ll monitor me, but…I’m scared.”
Aemond pushes himself up to tower over you again and grabs your face with a gentle touch as if he's afraid he’ll break you if he's too rough.
“My mother said it happens,” he now comes to your aid even if he doesn’t really know either. “They’ll get stronger and be equal after a while.”
You don’t find comfort in Alicent’s words, you need to hear them from your mother or read her own words to feel completely comforted.
“Ok,” your voice trembles. “Aemond,” you say and grab his hands. “I’m sorry.”
His eyebrows pinch together so you quickly respond to his confusion. “If being with child is an inconvenience right now. Everything is so chaotic, I’m sorry if I have become a burden—”
“Quiet,” he cuts you off and pulls you to him. “Shut up. You are the furthest thing from a burden or an inconvenience. Don’t apologize. Don’t torment yourself. We are blessed. That’s all. The risks you’ll take are just fewer now, but it seems you and Helaena have found more comfort in each other so you won’t be bored here.”
You blink and that worry falls, he helped resolve it. The guilt has diminished as well, but now you’re completely baffled by what he says.
You won’t just sit by the fire, you may be with child, but you will not just sit idly by while he risks his life, while your brother is out there, and while your family still needs you too. Just because you’re expecting doesn’t mean you have to sit and wait like a trapped princess in distress!
“No,” you spat and let his hands go. He sees the fire already engulfing your eyes so he pouts in annoyance whilst he lets your face go too.
“I will not—”
“I will not sit here and wait for you to come back,” you cut him off lividly. “I have a dragon, I have skill! Just because I’m with child—”
“That’s exactly why!” He argues back with quick-growing frustration. “Do you really expect me to send you to fight while you’re expecting?! Do you really think I can just watch you in the sky knowing your state?! It’s like you said…”
You shake your head and turn away as he continues.
“…it takes one arrow, a dragon's jaw, or fire…”
Your eyes shift at the last mention and you almost want to rebuttal with the truth of your…fire resistance, but that would take you down a rabbit hole that you don’t want to fall into at this very moment. You need to make a point and win.
“I would never forgive myself if something happened to you or the twins,” he tries to lure you into the trap using sweet words that usually work. “I would not feel comfortable sending you out to battle now.”
“That’s the difference between me and you,” you counter right away and twist around to face him. “I will wear armor! I had armor made for me, I can protect myself! My dragon will protect me! I will not sit here and do nothing while you are out there! While Sunfyre and Aegon are now indisposed!”
Aemond strides to you, and you stand your ground and challenge him with your enraged glare alone.
“I don’t care what you want or don’t want, you are not going to fight on dragonback or on the ground,” he counters back spitefully with his nose flared and his glare piercing right back at you. “If you try I will lock you in here with a hundred guards. Or I will take you to a tower where you can’t reach your dragon and you’ll be miles away.”
You part your lips but you can’t argue back, you’re caught in disbelief because you know he would be capable of doing that. You’re also too enraged that your words turn to ashes in your mouth by the stupid tears that come to your eyes. Thus instead you snap around to give him your back as you approach the hearth keeping the room warm, and watch the dancing flames with your arms crossed over your chest.
Aemond sighs deeply and leaves the room silent for a moment as he lets his frustration and impatience leave his body before he approaches you from behind.
At first, he breaks the silence with the soft utter of your name before he makes the mistake of brushing his fingertips on your hip, causing you to flinch away out of fear that it was someone else.
“I’m sorry,” he mutters in confusion to your sudden jolt.
You realize what you did and take a deep breath, realizing that your rage gets snuffed out like dying fire.
At first, you did not think you wanted to tell Aemond what Aegon did, but he’s here now, you look at him now; the confusion on his face. You look at your best friend, your husband, and the man that you love, and the words crawl up your throat like bile.
“Aemond,” you whimper and his confusion is lost and replaced by concern once again.
The sound of your lips parting fills your chambers, but a breath is all that comes out. You can’t be outward with it, you’re too afraid, too ashamed, so you close the distance and bring your lips to his ear.
He does look at you completely puzzled albeit that soon diminishes and slowly transforms into livid rage as you whisper the words in his ear. After that, you only pull back when you try to plead your case as if he didn’t believe you right away. He did, you just need him to know desperately.
“I told him to stop, I did, I promise, but he wouldn’t leave me alone. You have to believe me, Aemond.” You cry and he sighs, but that anger doesn’t die, he just musters the softness he can to gently cup your face before he slides his hand down to stroke your chin.
“I believe you,” he whispers so you can hear, and presses his forehead against yours.
“I wanted to fight back,” you keep trying to tell him. “I promise. I…I.”
“Shh, it’s okay,” he coos and brings his hand back up to cradle your cheek and use his thumb to stroke it. “You will be okay.”
He suddenly rips himself away from you and stomps away. You turn to not miss a step and notice him grab his sword while he gets away in a rage, thus you interfere because you know he’s letting his anger steer his thoughts. “Aemond stop!”
He doesn’t falter in his pace, he keeps storming away.
“Aemond!” You cry out. “Stop! Aemond! Please,” you beg and it’s that quiver in your voice that stops him.
“Do you really expect me to stay here knowing what—”
“Stay with me,” you cut him off to tell him what you need the most. “Please don’t go. Just stay.”
Aemond slowly turns around and when he faces you he sees how hard you’re pleading with your teary eyes, and how much you need just his company. Not his rage, not his revenge, just his comfort. His anger does want to get the best of him, but he beats it down with a deep breath and rests his blade against the wall to go to you and immediately wrap you in an embrace.
When you’re surrounded by nothing but the security of his warm arms you let yourself melt in his embrace because you know that nothing and no one can hurt you there.
“Let’s take a bath, hm?” He suggests as he kisses the top of your head. “Me and you.”
You nod softly and after depleting him of all the comfort you need, as the sun leaves the earth and lets the moon and the stars shine, you have a bath drawn where hundreds of candles enlighten the room with their soft glow. Where a soothing incense fills the room, and the warm flames from the hearth near your bath is a warm third body that keeps you company while you relax against Aemond.
“And that one is my favorite song, there’s a certain eeriness to it, but also an enchanting melody that I love,” you muse as you cross one leg over the other.
Aemond hums. “Those have always been my favorite for you to sing,” he muses.
You smile widely, and slither your fingers over his gently caressing your knee, welcoming a silence to the room that causes Aemond to grow uncomfortable yet bold enough to ask one question he’s been holding back out of fear that you will admit that you hate him now, or that you’re only here because of Aerion.
He doesn’t want to hear rejection or see you turn your back on him. He still needs you and he doesn’t want to face potential abandonment. But he also can’t sleep peacefully not knowing how you feel after what he did.
“Can I ask you something?” Aemond brings up quietly before saying your name as if there were more people in this chamber. But there isn’t, it’s just you and him.
“Mhm,” you let him continue and lay your head back on his shoulder to look at him from the corner of your eyes.
“You know it was not Sunfyre or Aegon who brought down Rhaenys or Meleys,” he hesitates to say but he does speak it out loud, and right away he feels how stiff you grow.
“I…know,” you breathe out and slowly sit up, losing contact with his fingers, and causing his fingers on your knee to slip off. “I could read it off you. You weren’t so discreet you know? Maybe you should be a little less smug if you’re going to let Aegon take the win.”
He hums and sits up to press his hand on your back before gently wrapping his arm around your neck to speak by your ear. “Do you…hate me?”
How could you hate him when it’s yourself that you hate for failing her?
There’s no point in thinking. No debate needs to be had, it’s an easy answer that comes from the depths of your wounded heart.
“No,” you whisper, leaving no time for him to doubt your response. “Should I?”
You turn to face him with sincerity bringing tears to your eyes. “I don’t hate you.”
Aemond’s arm slips off you and his eye falls on the water, but rather than trying hard to find his gaze, you actually find his reflection in the water and see a frown on his face; one brought by sorrow and torment over your response.
It’s like he almost wants you to hate him.
“It’s different this time,” you try to explain without bringing up the real reason behind your logic. “She wasn’t a messenger, she wasn’t trying to get away, it was a battle. Death is never fair for people like her, she did not deserve to die, but her death was different because I know that she wouldn’t want to go out any other way. She went out like a dragon warrior. I know she fought hard until her last breath.”
Aemond’s eye climbs up your body and finds your attentive gaze, letting you see his eye clouded with tears and that weight not ease off his body, so you drag yourself in between his legs to cup his cheek and offer him a faint assuring smile.
“I do not hate you,” you assure him and hold his gaze so he can read that you’re being sincere.
When he has the confirmation his heart needs he lets out a deep breath that makes that tension lift off his chest.
“Now,” you change the subject before you start crying, and slide your hand down to hold his knee and gently shake his leg. “You are going to be Prince Regent.”
His lips tug to a faint flustered smile and his eye once again falls on the water.
“Grin, my love, all your hard work will pay off,” you flatter him with a beaming grin. “All that time spent in books, learning from great minds, and working tirelessly will be rewarded.”
Do you really think he has the mind to rule?
Maybe if he hadn't gotten his eye taken out, or if he had seen his father care for him after being maimed then he would be the ruler the Greens need to win, that the kingdoms need, but he’s fueled with anger. His ego is inflated because he never got told that he’s so much more than he knows, so he had to rely on his large dragon for power.
It’s not to say you aren’t proud of him, because you are. He’s worked hard, he’s leaned into his books to gain knowledge. He has a military mind and good swordsman skills. He's the one keeping his family alive, and he has much more logic than Aegon, but a good ruler needs to be more than that.
A good ruler needs to listen to his people, they need to be just but also need to know when to put their foot down. They need to control their emotions even if sometimes they get tested by idiots or people being too daring. They need to know when to pull their blade out to fight, and when to use harsh words instead. Can he do that?
You can’t be sure. To be honest, you are not sure he can, but it’s why he can be the key to getting your mother on the throne.
Is he something important, something so much more that people don’t see? Yes, a hundred times yes. You don’t doubt that, you genuinely are happy that he’s being seen, that he gets to finally prove himself because you know that there’s so much more to him that people don’t see, that they ignore because he’s a second son, and he’s more quiet, like a shadow.
He’s not scary or just intimidating like he lets people believe, he’s smart, he's gentle, he’s so much more than people see and you have always known that. You have always supported that. And that’s what you’re praising, because after all this waiting he’s no longer in the shadows. A light is shining on him. He deserves it.
“Maybe,” Aemond mutters with his smile faltering. “There’s also my mother. She’s Queen Dowager.”
You sit back on your legs and your confusion is clear. “But,” you genuinely argue. “Your mother ruled in a time of peace, and she has no military mind. They couldn’t really consider her. It’s you they’ll pick.”
Aemond meets your gaze and sighs deeply. “I cannot be sure until the morrow.”
You hum and avert your gaze to think if the men around the table will really pick Alicent over the next heir in Aegon's line of succession. It would be pretty stupid to pick Alicent when they’re working hard to remove your mother.
“Well, I'm sure they’ll pick you,” you express your genuine opinion. “They’ll be stupid not to. And you have an heir, maybe more on the way. Perfect choice I’ll say.”
His lips tug up to a soft smile, and your more negative opinions falter at the sight of that smile alone.
“And you,” he piques your interest whilst he leans over to capture your chin in between his thumb and his pointer finger. “You’ll be Princess Regent.”
You gulp nervously and shake your head. “Helaena is alive and healthy, I couldn’t be Princess Regent.” You contradict him, but he continues to press his side.
“My sister is sweet and good, but,” he sighs. “We all know she has no mind to be Queen, she’d rather be outside with her bugs than be anywhere near court, but you…you’re smart, fierce, attentive, and you have the mind to be a good Queen. The people love you and you care for them for some reason. You’ll be good.”
And there it is, your foundations shake at the sound of those sweet words that work like bait like magic to enchant you.
He would consider you, and that makes you consider a change of thought…
Like getting drunk, slowly your mind and your body start to lose yourself to its rich power.
“You think so?” You mumble softly with your eyes full of desperation to be told you can be so much more.
“I know it. You and I would be a powerhouse everyone would respect,” he doesn’t take back his opinion and it’s a dangerous thing. He needs to stop.
Stop.
Stop…
But you can’t help but smile like an idiot as your heart gets fed more of that addicting honey it can never get enough of. It’s all you ever wanted deep down. it’s a dream you even shared with Cregan and Arra…
But…no!
No! No…
——
*THE NEXT MORNING*
“They will name you regent,” you try to reassure him as you fix the collar of his leather vest. “I know it. So head up high and deep breath.”
He holds your gaze as he lets out a deep breath, making you giggle as you slide your hands down to pat his chest.
“I love you,” you don’t fret to send him off with sweet words that make his heart swoon.
“I love you too,” he doesn’t hesitate to return before he leans in and presses a kiss on your lips.
Before he can back away you steal one more kiss from his thin lips, causing him to leave with a faint smile.
After a few minutes of lingering in the spot where he left you, you scurry out the secret door and trudge through the secret tunnels to reach the shadows of the Small council room and be part of the big debate that will change the Green fraction one way or the other.
“The armor was Valyrian steel,” Maester Orwyle shares with the council. “But his Grace suffered grievous burns over much of his body. He has many broken bones. I fear there are more injuries within, injuries we cannot see.”
He can die for all you care.
“We are grateful for your works, Grand Maester,” Alicent interjects after you catch her take in a deep breath. “Has he woken?”
“No,” the maester doesn’t try to be assuring, he’s bold so no one gets any hope he might survive. “I must admit, I’m not sure he will ever wake. I have piled my crafts to their fullest extents. Our king's fate lies with the gods now.”
And may the gods be ever so merciful to give him death.
“A king cannot rule in his sleep,” you hear Alicent say after a few seconds of silence. “The realm will have noticed his absence. Let them hear of his great deeds at Rook’s Rest. But now we must name a regent to take his place until he recovers…or does not.”
You lean your ear closer to the gaps on the wall and wait to see if Aemond is right.
“A wise strategy, Your Grace,” you recognize Lord Larys’ pestering voice. “A regency will assure the people of the stability of the crown.”
A silence follows and you wonder why it’s so awkward in there when the choice is plain to see.
“Did you have a candidate in mind, Your Grace?” Ser Tyland asks.
“I myself served in this role for my husband, I am well-prepared to do it again,” she proves Aemond right, and if you would have bet you would have lost.
“You played your part admirably in a time of peace, Your Grace,” Lord Jasper weighs in. “But circumstances have changed.”
“And here I had forgotten,” you catch the sarcasm in Alicent’s voice which does amuse you.
“The King does not lack for heirs,” Lord Jasper continues to argue against Alicent. “The obvious choice is his immediate successor, Prince Aemond, who has his own heir in his son, strengthening the line of succession.”
“Agreed,” Ser Tyland comments, making your heart skip a beat for Aemond.
“Aemond is young,” Alicent immediately rebuttals, causing your eyebrows to furrow because you all know there’s been younger Kings. “And his lack of restraint has already cost us dearly.”
A third silence follows and you suspect it’s because she wants people to agree with her, but it doesn’t seem like anyone does. Which is awkward, you can feel that tension from where you are.
“It is an experience that offers the surest path to security,” you hear the maester give his opinion. “Queen Alicent ably shouldered the duties of the realm when her husband's health failed him.”
Once again in a time of peace, it doesn’t seem like she has a military mind. And someone could argue that your mother doesn’t either, but you know her, she’s smart and leans on her books. She doesn’t need her father like Alicent needed hers.
“Experience is valuable, yes,” Lord Jasper interjects. “But the Dowager Queen is a woman.”
You almost have to laugh but you hold it in. It’s so poetic really.
“I’m no stranger to rule or to sitting at this council,” Alicent argues. “Aemond is a fearsome dragonrider. His skill is best employed in the field, but my experience is needed here, at this table—”
“No offense was meant, Your Grace,” Ser Tyland cuts her off as she’s growing frustrated. “But at a time when we must show strength.”
“Lord Larys,” she tries to garner the man’s support.
“I agree, Your Grace, it must be Prince Aemond,” he contradicts her. “What would it say if, in response to Rhaenyra’s crowning, we raised up a woman of our own?”
Oh sweet, sweet karma.
“But, um…the Hand speaks for the King’s voice, Ser Criston what say you?”
You start to fiddle with your hands as a smirk tugs on your face.
“Aemond is the next in line,” he adds salt to the injury. “It must be him.”
You can’t help it, you grin.
“It’s agreed then,” Aemond finally breaks his silence before you hear the sound of him rising from his chair and his heels clicking around the table.
And just like that he is now regent, Alicent has now been treated the way she treated your mother. The Green fraction has changed to a more Ironfist rule. You can be certain of that.
“What is our standing in the Riverlands?” Aemond jumps right into business, proving already to possess a better mind than Aegon ever did.
“Uh, the banners of House Tully are in disarray, Your Grace,” Ser Tyland is the one who gives Aemond the answer he sought, and the first one to call him your Grace, which brings a chill down your spine. “Prince Daemon has little hope of fielding an army or any, for now.”
Why do they doubt Daemon so much? Is it just that they hope that their negativity will help him fail?
You don’t like him, and you know he has the power to gain that army, you know he will.
“We would do well to send word to young Oscar Tully,” Lord Larys follows up with his comment. “It’s only a matter of time before he inherits his grandsire’s mantle.”
“Tell me, Lord Strong, how I can trust the counsel of a man who leaves the jewel of the Riverlands to be plucked by our enemy?”
You wait for the response from the Lord, but he gives none, and you couldn’t be more smug that he didn’t and that he’s most likely intimidated by Aemond.
“Your brother's host can meet Daemon,” Aemond changes the subject to now speak to Ser Tyland. “He should quicken its pace and check the Rivermen while their banners are in disarray.”
No matter what you can’t help but be proud of Aemond. Command suits him.
“I shall send Lord Jason encouragement,” Ser Tyland assures Aemond.
“What else?” Aemond probes.
“We might turn our attention to the smallfolk here in King’s Landing,” Maester Orweyle says. “They have grown weary of the Sea Snake’s blockade.”
“So have we all,” Aemond says nonchalantly.
“Many are fleeing the city,” the maester continues. “Spreading word of their fear and unrest.”
“Mm, then let the gates be closed,” Aemond picks the wrong choice which proves you right too. “No one is to leave or enter, save with our consent. Merchants, so forth.”
And that’s how you get the smallfolk to hate you. He’s supposed to assure them, feed them, and give them something to hope for, not fear and disdain. Hopefully, your mother can work that in her favor.
“Ser Criston,” Aemond calls out. “I need you to pick three of your best and most trusted men. I shall have two guarding my son and heir, and a second guard protecting my wife. She’s with child, I don’t wish to leave her vulnerable.”
Your breath catches and your heart skips a beat.
It is going to be harder to just be around the Red Keep, but you are happy he didn’t forget about you or Aerion.
“Go to your tasks,” Aemond then abruptly ends the meeting. “We shall meet again at first light. Oh, and someone cut down the fucking ratcatchers.”
Finally! You thought it was never going to be taken down, it’s such a nasty display.
Nevertheless, now to report to your mother. And since Aemond did mention he was going to be busy after the Small council meeting, you have time to take the message to Astraea so she can go take it right away. Plus there’s another matter you need to entrust your mother about because she's the only one you trust to give you comfort.
Which is why in the second letter you write, you make sure to direct to your mother.
“Dear Rhaenyra,
As you know I am with child. The maester assured me of that not long ago, but he also told me something else. He said that one twin is smaller than the other, and honestly, that frightens me. Alicent said it could be fixed in time, but I don’t trust her, and I don’t know what it really means. I just want to know if they’ll be okay. I need them to be okay.”
You don’t sign your name, but there’s no one else who would write to her so there’s no need to really sign your name. Hopefully, this time they write back though, or send anything in return so you’re not left worried. You made sure to point that out so hopefully they listen.
And! Hopefully, Jacaerys’ nosy ass doesn’t read your personal letter to your mother!
He would dare, he would be so protective about it, like, “come home now!” It’s a surprise he didn’t fly after you when he found out you left! Sure you feel bad for leaving him behind, but he has Baela, he won’t be alone. He’ll just be worried about you, annoying too because he wants to hear any news from you, and he will also probably be attentive to any sighting of Astraea in hopes to hear any news from you, so maybe you should write a warning to keep him out.
You should, but you don’t, just like you don’t take the secret tunnels to the cove where Astraea is resting. You’re simply going to the cove behind the castle to visit your dragon, that's all! If there’s eyes on you they won’t find you suspicious, you’re not flaunting the letters; you have them hidden, and you have your sworn protector trailing behind you. There’s no need for alarm or whispers to be spread or given to Aemond, it’s a simple visit…
You just need to secure something on her horn.
Yet as you’re trying to secure the letters, she suddenly slips her head away and starts to growl at your sworn protector in the shadows.
“<Astraea, calm girl,” you assure her. “He’s a friend. He’s my sworn protector. It’s alright.>”
Astraea doesn’t listen; she pushes herself closer to the man, making sure to block your path with her large neck.
“<Astraea,>” you warn her. “<Stop.>”
Her growling gets louder and you see her opening her jaw, pushing Ser Jason against the wall with panicked breaths.
“It’s alright Ser,” you try to assure him. “She won’t harm you. She’s just wary, but <he’s a friend>,” you address the last comment to Astraea, but she has a mind of her own. She corners the man and you watch her nostrils flare as she sniffs him.
“Astraea,” you call out and try to inch closer, but the moment she hears your feet shift she moves her neck against you and starts to snarl until she then suddenly grows quiet, and her neck starts to move away from you, letting you see her close her mouth, and blink as her pupils dilate while she looks at the panicked man before her.
Instead of calling her to back away, you watch with growing curiosity as she then begins to coo at him.
Ser Jason notices the hostility slip away so between pants and with wide eyes he slowly raises his hand and carefully reaches out for her scaled nostril.
You expect your dragon to move, but she remains where she is and lets the man pet her, pulling a surprised breath out of you.
“You,” you huff with relief that she didn’t kill him. “Must be special.”
Ser Jason’s blue eyes snap to you and his eyes almost pop out of his skull before he shakes his head. “No—I mean I am a—”
“She likes you,” you cut off his nervous rambling with a sweet smile. “Funny way of showing it, but she does. She let you pet her. There’s only a few people who aren’t of Valyrian descent that she lets pet her.”
Ser Jason’s eyes slowly drift away as his hand slips off Astraea, letting her back away and turn her head towards you to focus on you.
“<You naughty girl,>” you taunt her and watch her lips spread up as if she’s responding to your comment and smile with a smirk. “Sorry,” you direct at Ser Jason. “For the fright.”
The knight lets out a deep breath to relieve himself of that fear that he was just hit with, and with a breathless laugh, retorts, “I can finally say I have touched a dragon. It’s fine.”
You hum softly in return and once and for all attach the letters to your dragon's horn before you throw your arms around her in an attempt to embrace her. But she’s too big now, your arms don’t go around her anymore, they're just spread out against her in an attempt.
“<You know what you must do, my girl. Remember just my mother, Jace, Baela, or my grandfather can grab the letters. No one else. Don’t delay and be careful.>”
Lady Arra Norrey always poked fun at you for talking to your dragon like you talk to a person, but dragons understand more than commoners know, and Astraea understands you at a deep level.
“<Now go.>” You send her off and don’t move away, you approach the shore to watch her ascend the skies.
It’s once she’s high in the clouds that you return inside, and this time rather than having a clear path, you’re interrupted just at the last courtyard before you can reach the doors. Thankfully it’s on your way back to your quarters though and not the other way around.
“Princess,” Ser Gwayne Hightower brings you to a stop, making you take a deep and annoyed breath before you turn to face him with a plastered smile.
“Ser,” you greet and watch him bow his head at you before he finishes approaching you to be closer. “You returned.”
That’s all, you’re not glad he did, you’re not surprised either, he just returned, it’s that simple.
“Thanks to your favor,” he retorts smugly, making you scoff.
“Me or a few other pretty ladies?” You remark, making him flash you a charming grin before he chuckles and nods.
“Oh yes many did give me their favors,” he doesn’t remain modest, he’s blunt and that makes an amused smile twitch on your lips unwillingly. “But only one worked in my favor. The only one close to the gods, yours, my Princess.”
You hold his gaze as you nod in comprehension before you hide your flattered smile by looking at the ground.
“I heard you are quite a spectacular singer,” he continues trying to work his charm on you. “The Siren of Driftmark. I have wanted to hear if it’s true that your voice is as enchanting as they say.”
You draw in a deep breath and clasp your hands together before you roll your eyes up to look at him with a mischievous smirk that he starts to take in his favor. Yet…
“Was it your idea to parade around the head of my grandmother's dragon throughout the city?” You bring a cold end to his flattery and make that ever-so-charming smile fall.
“No,” he clears his throat and shifts back, making your own smirk deepen. “It was Ser Criston Cole’s.”
“Our good Lord Hand,” you both say in sync and with the same level of sarcasm, bringing a silence where you both share a teasing smile as if you were friends sharing gossip.
“He may have a good military mind,” he shares with you after a small genuine smile. “But may the gods help him with political matters.”
You hum and nod. “It seems the realm was in better hands with your father as hand and Ser Criston as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.”
“I’ll say.” He doesn’t shy away from agreeing. “Uh, I heard of your accident, I do hope you are okay.” He changes the subject smoothly, causing you to blink in surprise and find yourself answering without disdain.
“Quite, being with child just takes a toll. Thank you, Ser.”
He bows his head and just as he parts his lips to add more, a third voice cuts in. “Uncle.”
You both look at the incomer and notice Aemond with his eye locked on his uncle.
“Nephew,” Ser Gwayne greets Aemond with a smile, unlike Aemond who seems bothered—“I was just talking to the Princess. You have quite the pretty pearl here.”
You swallow back nervously and watch Aemond’s chest rise whilst the corner of his lips twitch to a forced smile.
“And you are expecting!” Ser Gwayne brings up and leans toward Aemond to pat his arm. “Congratulations, nephew.”
Aemond offers him a stiff nod of his head so you cut in. “Thank you, Ser. He is the most delighted.”
Aemond hums and remains cold and bothered so you cut this conversation short before you’re swallowed by the awkwardness that begins to build. “I hope we get to see more of you before you’re off again, maybe you can meet our son, Aerion.”
“Ah, yes I would be delighted, my sister speaks fondly of her grandchildren. I will have to see them for myself,” Ser Gwayne says in return, letting you offer him the first genuine smile before you turn and head inside with Aemond who keeps his jaw clenched and his eye narrowed.
“What…were you talking about?” Aemond tries to hide how jealous he is, but it's a futile attempt considering it’s written all over his face; in his flared nostrils, in the darkness in his eye that is brought up by annoyance and anger, and in his raised chest in attempts to try and insert his dominance over you.
Any other time you would find it amusing, it's his uncle and he can’t help but be jealous, but right now you’re bothered by something else entirely that you won’t let go unheard of.
“<The nasty parade that took place while I was abed,>” you take your opportunity to bring up without actually deflecting because it’s true, the topic was brought up.
But of course, he doesn’t answer, do you let it go though? No, you don't back off even if you see him wanting to avoid the topic, you press the matter with growing frustration.
“<When do people stop fearing gods, Aemond?>” You ask rhetorically. “<When they see gods bleed. They saw that dragon's head being paraded around the city and saw that they’re just like every other animal.>”
“<They're not,” Aemond scoffs back in High Valyrian, just like you. “<They can test it if they like, let’s see what fate awaits from them then.>”
You share a dry chuckle and only counter when you’re past the doors and inside the Red Keep. “<Don't underestimate the power of the people, Aemond. They can find power in rage if you give them the right spark. And that display…>” you trail off but don’t ease off him, you don’t use your anger either, you let it go with a deep exhale and instead, try to work this in your favor with the simple power of your enchanting voice.
“<No qualified Hand would have allowed that to happen, or even given it any thought. Dragons are the power of our house, they are sacred creatures. You know that. He doesn’t understand; he did something stupidly foolish that could cost us a lot.>”
Aemond finally looks over at you as if captured by your words, or as if he agrees too.
“<He’s our Lord Commander of the Kingsguard,>” he brings up, but that doesn’t work in anyone's defense. You use that.
“Exactly.”
Aemond studies you to try and get in your mind and read your running thoughts, finding that the words you just sang are haunting his mind instead, like a melody one can’t forget.
“I’m not saying he’s not a qualified man,” you add softly as you climb up flights of stairs to head to your room. “He may not be my favorite, he may have quite a reputation, but he still has a good mind for battle. That I can say. Maybe his skills will be best displayed trying to take Harrenhal, hm? The longer that gets left alone, the more time Daemon has to gain power there.”
“I thought you didn’t like him,” Aemond brings up and glances ahead.
“No,” you scoff. “I don’t, but,” you sigh. “He’s smart. He has experience. I can admit that. We have to admit that to ourselves.”
Aemond hums and you look at him as he looks ahead. And after knowing you said all you needed to say on the matter without being pushy or suspicious, you finally shift over to a matter that brings a bright grin to your face.
“So?! Tell me, are you Regent?”
Aemond’s eye falls and a soft smile slowly starts to grow on his face before he lifts his head and meets your gaze, showing off that smile that gives you your answer and makes you squeal before you bring the both of you to a stop atop the stairs when you throw your arms around him.
“I told you! Congratulations, my love,” you praise him genuinely since you know how much he wants to prove himself. “I knew you’d get it.”
He can’t help it, he wants to grow smug, but he grows flustered instead and only makes that smile grow warm.
“You deserve it,” you whisper so only he can hear.
Aemond wraps his arms around you and presses a kiss on the top of your head, keeping his lips and nose pressed against you as he takes in the praise that you alone have given him.
“Thank you,” he mutters against you.
You hum and pull your head back to meet his eye. “Really, I’m proud of you,” you whisper with no sign of deceit, your words come from the bottom of your heart because now people can see what you see, what you have always seen; that he’s so much more, that he is something.
“I…” he trails off and his eye turns glossy, while a breath catches in his throat and a fondness and awe paints his face. “I love you.”
You bring one hand up to caress his cheek, making him lean towards your touch right away as if instinct to seek your warmth and comfort.
“I love you too,” you redirect softly and press a gentle kiss against his lips.
“You are my Princess Regent,” he whispers against your lips, making you scoff and gently smack his chest before you pull away from his grasp to continue to your shared quarters.
Aemond of course doesn’t hesitate to follow at your side and presses what he said. “I can make you that if you want. You and me.”
You shake your head. “It can’t happen. Helaena is Queen, and,” you hesitate and he knows that so he uses it in his favor.
“You don’t want it?”
You want to say no, but you part your lips and you can’t bring yourself to counter or deny. Instead, once again there’s something dark and hungry that plagues you…
And it doesn’t let you answer
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” you retort and flash him a feigned smile. He wants to counter, but you leave him no room to answer because you pick up your pace to finally get off the stairs.
Once you reach your quarters you find Vanessa with Aerion and Shrykos. You see Aerion happy with his little hatchling, you see him get even happier when he sees his father and you can’t help it, all your mind focuses on is spending time with your family. You watch as Aemond interacts with Aerion and his little hatchling. You see how much Aerion loves spending time with Aemond and vice versa. You cherish the moment, you live in it because of what lurks outside your safety walls.
Even when you see Astraea return to the city, you don’t let your attention drift away. This stolen moment is where you find joy, where you find awe as you see how easy Aerion falls asleep when he’s laying on Aemond’s chest as the three of you just spend time on the bed with Aemond’s head on your lap, your fingers messaging his temple, and your eyes interlocked as if sharing hundreds of words in the silence.
Soon there will hopefully be more of you, you and Aemond will be outnumbered, but nothing will ever lessen the love you give your son. You may love each other selfishly, and Aemond may put you over everything, but that will never impact how much you love your children because he doesn’t want them to feel lonely like the way he felt when you were gone from his life and no longer there to be the hopeful light in the darkness. He knows that for certain, just like you know for certain that you would not mind living in this peaceful moment forever.
Yet the peace gets interrupted by Ser Criston requiring Aemond’s attention to take a look at the men he chose to protect you and your son. And since the moment was already interrupted you find your chance to go to Astraea and check for any notes.
And this time there is a note from your mother that you read in the safety of your room since Aemond will be gone for a while.
“I hope you find yourself well. I thank you for your sacrifices, it must not be easy having to sneak about the Red Keep, so thank you, my Sweet. Astraea will grow impatient, and someone will suspect if she’s gone too long so I will get to the point. With the help of the Mysaria, I have sent Elinda to King’s Landing to help with a secret plan to gain the favor of the smallfolk. By the time you get this, she should be at the west city gates by nightfall, she will stay with a friend. I hope you can send someone you trust to see her in the city, she will share what we have planned—”
You pull your eyes off the paper and glance over at Vanessa as she’s the only one you can trust to do what your mother wants of you.
“—As to you. I would really like it if you came home now, I would feel more comfortable with you being taken care of by a maester I can trust. Please come home, leave Vanessa there to help Elinda, and relay any plans the greens have, just come home.
Love, your mother.”
Come home?
It's true that you would feel more comfortable there regarding your twins, but when you go home what will you do? Just sit around the table and listen? Sit and do nothing while a war rages around you?
You already failed her, failed them all once, you need to prove yourself. That’s why you’re here because you wanted to prove to your mother that you can be useful, that you can be something. You can do that here, not there trapped like a bird.
You can’t go home. No matter how much she wants you back, no matter how much you do ache to return, you can’t leave yet. Thus you stride towards the hearth and throw the letter in the fire so it’s not discovered.
Once the paper and all the words are ash you lift your nose in the air and call out to your handmaiden. “Vanessa could you let Ser Jason in, I need to speak to the both of you.”
Vanessa doesn’t wait or question you, she beckons your sworn protector, and once he’s inside and they both stand a few feet behind you, you slowly turn to face them with confidence so they feel it too.
“I need you, Vanessa to go into the city,” you share without dragging it out just in case Aemond does come soon. “Elinda is on her way to the city and I need you to help her inside. I need you to help her for me. Be my ears, my voice with what she needs.”
Vanessa’s dark eyes slowly drift down as many thoughts cross her mind. Many doubts you’re sure. The city is dangerous nowadays, and there’s no guarantee that her whereabouts won’t be caught, but you need her to run the risk because you can’t. She has a higher chance of being in the city undetected, you not so much.
“I know I'm asking a lot, but you are the only one I trust with this,” you try to make her feel comfortable. “My mother does too, if you don’t feel comfortable helping, just let Elinda in the city and walk her to where she’ll stay, okay?”
Vanessa lets out a deep breath and after a few seconds her eyes slowly scale up and she finds you, letting you see the sense of determination painting her pretty face. “I will do it, I’ll help you, the Queen, and Elinda. With whatever they need.” She assures you with a nod and a gentle smile, making you flash her a grin before you now address your sworn protector.
“As for you Ser, I need you to accompany Vanessa, protect her like you do me while she’s out in the city. She is my dearest friend and I don’t want anything to happen to her.”
Ser Jason glances at the woman beside him and swallows thickly before he looks back at you and doesn’t hesitate, he nods in agreement.
“I will protect her as I do you, my Princess,” he says with a sense of confidence that strikes him too. “I am also friends with the Gold Cloaks, I can convince them to let your friend in.”
You sigh with relief and nod in comprehension. “Good, I’m glad. Now go before Aemond gets here. And ser, don’t walk so tense, pretend you’re…taking the lady out to the city, hm?” You suggest, making his cheeks grow furiously red. “I’m being serious.”
Vanessa glances at the timid man and snickers before she approaches you and looks at you with concern and sorrow. “And you? Will you light the pyre alone?”
Your eyes flicker down, but you quickly blink and look back at her with a faint assuring smile so she doesn’t have to worry. “I’m no stranger to grieving alone. I will be fine, I know how to build a pyre.”
“It is raining,” Vanessa argues in an attempt to have you wait for her to light your grandmother's funeral pyre. “Maybe tomorrow—”
“I will be fine, I already know which courtyard to use. Go, I will be fine.” You interrupt her so she can stop worrying. “I’ll see you on the morrow hm?”
She hesitates now for the first time, and as if she was a caring older sister she pats your cheek and offers you a sweet smile.
Before she can go you grab ahold of her hand and welcome her comfort for a lingering moment before you let her go.
Once you’re alone, and Aerion’s wetnurse arrives to take care of him, you put on a beautiful blue velvet cloak and direct yourself to the courtyard you told Vanessa about; one close to the throne room, one with a spiral roof that welcomes the thick drops of rain through the gaps that usually welcome the sunlight on a clear day, or the moonlight on a cloudless night, but not today.
Today the rain is like music against the stone ground, the rain is a mess and puddles around your feet, soaking the ends of your gown and cloak. Lighting and thunder accompany the sheets of rain today, which would add an ominous feeling in the darkness of the night, but the bright fire that lights the shitty pyre you built, burns away the menacing presence of the lightning and thunder.
Now one would wonder how a pyre is still lit with how hard the rain hits the earth, but the center of the courtyard offers a roof that protects the fire and keeps most of you dry. That’s where you stand, that’s where the fire eats away at the wood in peace, and where it’s allowed to glow ragefully; basking the entire courtyard in its red and orange hue as if it was like a wildfire with the power of a thousand suns, and engulfing you with its illuminating hue that makes the grief and sorrow on your face look angelic.
Or that’s what poets would write, what bypassers would think as they watched how the raging light kisses your face and makes those tears on your cheeks glimmer like shining crystals, but you feel anything but divine, you’re grieving alone again. Just like how you grieved your father six years ago.
You shouldn’t be a stranger to grieving alone, but here you are again, away from your cousins, brother, mother, and grandfather who loved your grandmother and Meleys. You’re alone again in front of a funeral pyre bidding a last goodbye to someone you love, and no one is here to hold your hand or embrace your shaking shoulders. You’re alone grieving a grandmother you failed.
Maybe if you had written that letter faster, or sent that warning before, then she would still be alive. If you could’ve done what you were sent to do right she would be victorious or perhaps left with her life, but you failed her, you failed your Queen; your mother, and those who loved your grandmother. You amounted to nothing, but maybe that’s what you’ve been all along?
A simple girl with a luxurious title who dreamt too big and wanted too much. A selfish girl who thought she could get the world, but can’t get a scrap because no matter how hard you try you can’t reach those stars to amount to anything. You can’t feed the hunger inside you. You can’t be anything…
But…
As you stand there in the silence of solace, as you hear the fire crackle, the rain patter, and the thunderclap in the sky, there’s something that you feel calling you, something in the fire.
Something that has always called out to you since you could remember, but something that you have ignored, that you want to ignore now as you mourn your grandmother.
Yet the hot flames dry your tears and its heat embraces you tighter, but like every other time, its embrace, its kiss, and its touch is not uncomfortable like it is to everyone else. It’s welcoming, it’s nice like a friend…that’s been with you since you can recall.
No matter how hard you try, its whispers grow louder, but never desperate, it’s calling is charming, and like many other times, it entrances you.
The longer you stare at its beauty, the more it promises, swears that it’s empowering but only if you embrace it back.
You try to look away regardless of what calls for you, but how can you turn your back on what’s feeding your starving soul?
Fire kills the girl and awakens the dragon.
You can’t look away. You can’t ignore it. Not anymore.
Thus you mindlessly shrug your cloak off and let it drown in the puddle around your feet. You kick your shoes off because you are mindful of how much you love your shoes, and get closer, but it almost feels like you aren't the one controlling your body, it’s being controlled by the power of the trance. It moves you and you let it.
You raise your hand from your side and reach for the flames as if reaching out for an inviting hand.
You don’t show hesitation or fear, a malicious smirk tugs on your lips and the confidence, pride, and malice that washes over you gleams in your eyes like the illuminating fire because there’s never been anything to fear about the fire. It's why you don’t think of pulling away, you embrace the fire like securing your grip on an inviting hand.
Yet just as you raise your foot to step inside the calling flames, a hand suddenly grabs a hold of your wrist and you’re yanked back harshly under the rain.
When you look at the intruder you meet the gaze of your husband, your Aemond looking at you with horror. Yet that emotion slowly fades away as he lifts your hand and sees that you’re unharmed.
Now instead of fearing that you were going to jump in the fire to hurt yourself, he’s left flabbergasted and confused. You could explain it to him with words, but at that moment you can’t muster a single syllable, so instead you pull away and show him.
Aemond wants to stop you again. It’s an instinct, but when you put your hand in the fire and don’t wince, or make a sound of pain, as he sees that the fire doesn’t hurt a single perimeter of your flesh he’s struck with awe that leaves him paralyzed where he stands. It’s not horror or disgust. You walk under the rain again and study him closely to make sure, to know if you should be ashamed, but no matter how much you search his face or dig your gaze in his, there’s nothing you see but awe, admiration, a bit of confusion, and more adoration for you.
He sees you with the opposite of what you feared, with love and fascination, and you feel seen.
There in the darkness you are cast in is your light and you feel…like…you can be something important under his eye, with him because he sees you.
Sure you could have shown your mother, your brother, or even Cregan that the fire doesn’t hurt you. It’s your friend, you're immune to its violence and that’s your gift, but you didn’t share that with them and they didn’t see, but Aemond does. He sees you now, he looks at you like you are something more than you thought you could be and you’re relieved
You have yet to fully be embraced by the flames, but at last, someone knows and someone loves you for it. Someone sees your value and your power. Then again in some ways he always has, now he just sees all of you.
“Come with me,” he whispers, and thunder cuts in from the distant sky.
He offers you his hand and you don’t hesitate, you place your hand over his, and secure his grasp. Before you leave though you slip your shoes back on and pick up your cloak drenched with water.
At first, you expect to be taken well anywhere else but the throne room. Yet much to your surprise, you’re now embraced by the darkness of the glorious hall with only the night's hue casting in a natural light, and the occasional shots of bright lightning flashing an ominous light.
“They would love you,” his voice oozes out like honey. “I know that. Even now they love you, but imagine then, hm?” His words travel in your ear and they make a chill crawl down your spine.
“We—even before we married, when we were just kids…” he says and walks around you, making sure to bring his hand up to press his palm down on the back of your neck, making the hairs on the back of your neck rise, and those goosebumps to spread as he brings his lips close to your ear and lets his breath unfurl over your skin.
“…we were a lot more than my sister and Aegon. We valued our traditions, we value them even now. We are what all Targaryens rulers should be because we always wanted it.”
…he…
“Can’t you see it? Can’t you see us?” He whispers against your flesh, tempting you to tilt your head to try and meet his lips.
“Be Regent with me,” he offers again, but this time in a soft and almost pleading voice that makes your body move so you can be face to face and interlock gazes.
“I hear your protests,” he adds and glances at your lips only inches away from his. “But Helaena has never wanted what she has, you have…”
He…
“You and I will be the best of them,” he continues and continues to grow this realization. That’s what it is, a realization in the darkness of the room.
No matter how much you have tried to deny it, how hard you have pushed it down and brushed it off, it’s always been there. And it was never a darkness, and that hunger for more was never a plague. That’s a lie.
There was this desire, this need always within you. He knows that he sees that like no one else has. And just like the fascination he had for you when he saw you unhurt by the fire, now you return that fascination for him and his offer.
“You and me,” you whisper and those silent words travel over the sound of thunder because you can feel the warmth of his lips basically embrace yours.
And instead of answering with words, a malicious smirk tugs on his lips, and his awe only heightens for you, drawing him to smash his lips over yours just as you lean in at the same time, and bringing you both to forget where you are.
The rain patters harshly against the windows, against the roof, the thunder booms, and the lightning strikes the earth and flashes its bright light, but neither of you give it a second thought or any thought at all. It’s just you and him, basking in the passion brought by your selfish desires come to life. Because that's what it is, selfish on your part. It’s not selfless, you did not accept his offer for her, you accepted because you wanted to.
But Daemon pushed you here, didn’t he?
And Aemond sees you, he sees something in you. You can be something with him. That’s all you want, that’s all you have wanted.
——
*SOMETIME LATER*
“He dares to summon me!” Aemond barks with rage after reading a demand from Lord Jason Lannister. “With haste?”
He throws the crumbled letter to the side and leans over the table to glare at the brother sitting at your right side.
“Are the Lannisters so diminished that they cannot march from the Tooth to Harrenhal without an escort?”
You clasp your hands over the table and slowly drift your gaze to the blond man avoiding Aemond’s seething glare.
“There is a large dragon in the Riverlands, Your Grace,” Ser Tyland defends his brother's choice, which makes sense, but also sounds a bit like an excuse. A pretty pathetic excuse. “My brother's army is strong, but it does seem—”
“I am the Prince Regent,” Aemond reminds the man. “Not a dog to be called to heel. Tell your brother that if he does not deliver his host to Harrenhal, with ‘haste’,” he mocks. “Daemon’s dragon will become the least of his worries.”
A smirk tugs on your lips that you can't hide, that you can’t shame either. Aemond is right to be angry, and right to project his anger in that way, or else they won’t listen. Besides, you do have to admit you like it when he’s angry, and this new role of command suits him well.
Yet not everyone agrees, especially not his mother. She glances over at you in search of aid, but you just meet her gaze and flash her your smirk as you lift your nose in the air and sit back; because now you too carry this sense of cockiness, this rise in your ego that comes with your new title that the Lords around the table had to oblige to out of fear of Aemond.
If it were up to them they wouldn’t have allowed the daughter of Rhaenyra to sit amongst them and listen to their war plans, but you are now the Princess Regent in a time of war, you are needed around the table to listen mostly. And yes that bugs you, you still want to do more, and you hope now that Aemond discovered your immunity he’ll let you do more, that he’ll let you fight like you wanted to, but you don’t know. You haven’t talked about that night and the fact that he saw that the fire is not harmful or deadly to you, you haven’t had time, and even if you know you saw the love and awe in his eyes you still fear what he has to say on the matter, so that also why you haven’t really tried to talk about it.
You’ll talk about it soon, you have to, right now you’re just relishing in the fact that you’re around the table and that you have a more important title. You find pride in it, and more power than you’ve had before.
It’s intoxicating.
“Your irritations are justified, Aemond,” Alicent tries to do what she wanted you to do. “But it does seem—”
“I have a task for you, as well,” Aemond cuts Alicent off as he begins to stalk around the table. “Ser Tyland.”
Alicent’s brown eyes once again find you and pass her confusion for her son's sudden cold shoulder towards her, and even if you know what brought this on, you don’t offer her sympathy or pity, you look at her blankly before following Aemond with your eyes and watch him land behind Ser Tyland, like a predator scaring its prey.
“We will make an alliance with the Triarchy,” Aemond continues. “I've had enough of this cursed blockade.”
“My Prince,” Ser Tyland tries to bring up an argument. “You cannot mean to treat with the Free Cities. The captains of their ships are dangerous mercenaries, little more than pirates—”
“They are a stone's throw away across the Narrow Sea,” Aemond cuts the man's argument off as he steals a glance at you to let his gaze linger on you before he drops his eye on the man under him. “Lannister and Hightower ships will take months to arrive. The Triarchy will delight in the chance to terrorize the Sea Snake again. Let them weaken his blockade while our true allies make their long journey east.”
“The Triarchy may play at accepting terms but they are not to be trusted,” Alicent tries to reason with Aemond. “Your father knew this. What has come of our letters to the Greyjoys?” She drifts to a different matter in the same territory.
“They have been to no avail,” maester Orwyle gives the Dowager Queen the answer she seeked.
“The Red Kraken waits,” Lord Jasper interjects. “Seeking his best advantage. Though we may draw him in with honey. If it comes to it. An offer of marriage, perhaps to the Dowager Queen?”
You snicker in amusement and Alicent glances at you as she protests. “Out of the question.”
“You’ll have better luck breaking the Ice Wall,” you break your silence with knowledge you harbor from your past in the North. “When I was ward to Lady Karstark, the Greyjoys would send raid parties to Stony Shores, so to make them stop Lord Bennard Stark sent a proposal, one of his sons to one of Lord Greyjoy's many daughters,” you scoff and slowly lean forward.
“Lord Greyjoy sent back a nasty and bloody reply to deny the proposal. The raids did not stop until Lord Cregan Stark became lord because the Greyjoys’s answer with violence. I would suggest letting them sack some town close to their shores to gain their favor.”
“A bloody proposal but it might work,” Lord Larys actually says in your favor.
Alas Lord Jasper counters with discreet disagreement.
“We would have to think about it, and think of which shores they can attack.”
And that’s another way of saying no. You’ll tell your mother then, or Daemon, they’ll listen and gain their favor instead.
“The Dowager Queen spoke wisely, Your Grace,” Ser Criston cuts in. “Even if the blockade could be broken, are we to invite these alien raiders into our waters, so close to King’s Landing?”
“It’s time you set out for Harrenhal, I think,” Aemond pays his thought no mind and actually does as you told him. Which only works to feed that already heightened cockiness.
“Your Grace, if Daemon prevails in the Riverlands I no longer have the numbers to challenge him,” Ser Criston rebuttals, making you bite back your smug smile as you sit back and instead let your cockiness be shown in the way you sit, and the way your nose is slightly perked to touch the air, welcoming the sunlight to kiss your face just perfectly and only make you look that more regal.
“We lost much at Rook’s Rest,” Ser Criston makes sure to share while his eyes follow Aemond as he sits on the edge of the table beside him. “As you well know.”
“The longer we wait, the more chance he will prevail,” Aemond rebuttals using a variation of what you told him not long ago. “Lannister will march from the west. Take what strength we have and force Daemon and his Riverlords to fight on two fronts.”
You fiddle with one of your many rings on your fingers and watch the man seem almost hesitant to do as he’s told.
“His Grace speaks wisely,” Lord Larys says, but Ser Criston argues.
“We would do better to await the Hightower host and set out in good time.”
Aemond’s gaze drifts to you and you lock eyes but say or motion for nothing. You remain as prideful and smug and just hold his gaze until he returns his attention to the man beside him.
“There is no time,” Aemond counters. “It’s a fortnight's march to Harrenhal. We must strike before his army is raised.”
“And you yourself?”
Aemond tilts his head up and once again shares his smugness on the Daemon matter. “I will fly out to meet you when the time is ripe. My uncle is a challenge I welcome…if he dares face me.”
You could laugh at that. You could laugh at the many things Aemond says about Daemon because he thinks that Daemon is somehow scared, or at his level, and sure Aemond is threatening with Vhagar and his swordsman’s skills, but Aemond doesn’t have Daemon’s experience yet, once he does then you can say they could see eye to eye.
“I have some concerning news to share,” Lord Larys interjects and earns everyone’s attention. “I have just heard that Lord Cregan Stark leads an army of two thousand older men.”
You blink and that overpowering arrogance falters at the mention of Cregan, at the mention that he’s on his way to fight for his Queen after he said he couldn’t march so soon himself.
He’s actually coming down and that thought excites you more than it should. It makes your heart swoon more than it should. Yet you don’t display the smile that threatens to spread on your lips, you don’t let your heart show your pride or joy through your eyes, you remain nonchalant and ignore the attentive eyes of Lord Larys as he tries to catch any reaction, but you don’t give him the satisfaction.
“A measly army of old men that will be brought down quickly,” Aemond brushes Lord Larys off, but that's what the Lord expected, he just wanted to see how you would react, but you don’t fall for his trap.
“Now, I see we’re all agreed,” Aemond brings an end to the meeting after a moment's silence whilst he returns to his seat across from you.
“Your Grace,” Ser Criston says after he stands up.
The other bodies around the table don’t linger behind, they rise from their seats and walk out, you do the same but rather than walking out right away, you make yourself around the table to press a kiss on Aemond’s cheek that he welcomes by leaning over to meet your lips.
“My love,” you offer him sweet words before stepping back to walk around his seat with your fingers brushing over his shoulders.
Before you can lose touch, he captures your hand and brings you to a stop.
“Mother…a word,” he calls out before Alicent can leave the perimeters, all while he never once breaks your connection, and sparks this quick-growing tension that makes your heart begin to race with excitement.
“You,” he directs at you. “Eat. Don’t think you went unnoticed when we broke fast.”
You sigh. “I have found it more difficult this morning, they did not like what I ate,” you refer to the twins inside you. “Even now the thought of any food makes me want to vomit.”
Aemond hums and lets your hand go to caress your belly. “I’ll talk to the maester. You talk to Vanessa, have her make you some tea.”
You offer him a soft smile and give his mind some peace by nodding in agreement.
Aemond caresses your belly one more time with a faint smile before he grabs your hand and sends you off with a kiss on your knuckles.
As you walk away you don’t leave in silence, you pass Alicent and give her your last word. “Mother.”
Her eyes follow you and you can feel them on your back as you stride out with a teasing smirk because you both know that you meant that mockingly.
Now to the Godswood, where you won’t be alone, no, now rather than one guard there’s two watching over you now; Ser Jason, and Ser Cane Clegane; The Blood Hound as he’s popularly known, a thirty-something-year-old man who is rather stoic, with broad shoulders, built like an ox, and carries a deep and almost rocky voice. You are wary mostly because of your own indiscretions, but from what little time you have had with him he does look rather trustworthy.
Then again Aemond did personally inspect him and even tested his worth, so he is reliable if your life is ever threatened.
You hope you’ll have to wait and see.
Regardless, no one interrupts the peace you instantly find in the Godswood. You find comfort in the smell of the red leaves that swirl in your nose thanks to the gentle wind that howls in your ear. You feel bliss as the warm sunlight peeking through the gaps between the red leaves kisses your face. And not counting the shadows lurking in the distance, you don’t feel alone as you lose your eyes on the weeping face carved on the weirwood tree.
Eyes stare back at you, but it’s not a piercing gaze, it’s not judgmental, or heavy with intimidation, they’re gentle eyes, caring, and attentive. They admire your smile as you can’t help but think of Cregan marching down with his men to fight.
You shouldn’t be so happy, you need to knock your joy and pride down a peg or two after all, it’s unlikely you’ll see him, but you can’t help but feel…happy at the thought after you were certain that he would not dare come so soon.
And it’s not that you want to hop on your dragon and meet him halfway, no, the thought doesn’t cross your mind. You’re just happy to hear he’s coming with his army of men.
“Princess.”
And just like that your peace is broken, and by no other than Alicent who seems quite distressed when you turn to face her.
Why? What could she want?
.
.
.
.
.
A/N- Abbey by Mitski is yours and Aemond's anthem period in this story period.
Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @lauftivy @winxschester @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @patdsinner33 @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin @todoroki-slut @snh96 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @nifujiswhore @sweethoneyblossom1 @kaetastic @lightdragonrayne @squidscottjeans @oh-you-mean-me @wallacewillow0773638 @icefrye19 @thescottpack @fiction-fanfic-reader @crazymusicgirl104 @r-3dlips @strangersunghoon @just-pure-trash @ethereal-athalia @missyviolet123 @callsignwidow @xunquish-blog @tabathastan
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worldofkuro · 5 months
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Painted Smile
Painted Smile V
<- Previous Chapter | Next Chapter ->
Pairing: Alastor x Reader
Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.
Notes: I think I wrote more for this chapter. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter dear readers. Let me know what you think about it.
“ You look.. dishearten, my friend”
You sighed as you looked at your friend: Alice. She was one of the first female friends you made 6 years ago at school. She was one of the sweetest girls you have ever met. She had long blonde locks with beautiful sapphire eyes, her voice sounded like a siren’s song. You were proud to be her friend, almost all of the boys who laid their eyes upon her were almost falling to their knees ready to propose to her. 
“ I have no idea what to do for Alastor’s birthday.” you sighed “ no idea of a present.”
Alice clapped in her hand with a big grin and you couldn’t help but scoff at her radiance. She always loved when you were talking about yours and Alastor’s relationship. You didn’t really know why but she wanted to meet him.  Well… yes, you knew why. Alastor was … He was…
“ How old is he ?” she asked you as she drank her cup of tea.
“ Well, he is going to turn seventeen. So I want to make him something special.” you sighed once again as you laid your cup of hot chocolate on the table. 
“ How long have you known each other ? “
“ Almost eight years.” you smiled fondly. Eight years. You’ve been friends with Alastor for eight years and you have loved every single year. You looked into your cup of hot chocolate, the colour reminded you of Alastor’s eyes. Alastor wasn’t a little boy anymore, he had become taller. Taller than you, his frame was more muscular thanks to his hunting trip, he had become more teasing, sneakier, and cunnier but the biggest problem was… He had become so handsome. He lost his chubby cheeks, now his jaw was sharp, his eyes were even more intense than before when he was interested in something, he was–
“ Should I let you alone with your chocolate~?” you jerked your head toward Alice who had a teasing smile on her lips. You chuckled while shaking your head, blushing a little. You daydreamed again ! “ Why do you not want me to meet him, I really want to meet your beau, you know? I have never seen you like this, never did someone make you react like this.”
“ Listen… He is.. an important childhood friend and he can be … intense sometimes. I don’t think you could handle him.” you said as you sipped your drink. You didn’t feel comfortable making Alastor and Alice meet. You knew that Alastor could be an ass sometimes and Alice was too sweet to … understand it ? “ But back to the topic, what should I give him for his birthday …”
“ From what you told me, he seems to really care about you, and with this war going on, I’m sure he’d rather you kept your money.” she smiled at you as you bit your lips. That was the problem. Alastor was going to be 17 years, next year he would turn 18. That means he … would be taken to war right? You felt yourself getting paler as many scenarios went inside your head. 
The only good news was that his father had been dragged to war, unfortunately just like yours, meaning that Alastor and Marie were finally alone in their house.  After the hunting’s trip’s accident eight years ago, you’ve never trusted his father again. Many times you went to Marie’s house and each time her husband was home you could feel the tension lingering in the air. When he was here, you and Alastor would go outside, play with Husker, play tag or hide and seek. 
Alastor never really talked about his father, but you could sense that he hated him. But you didn’t know why and one day, you tried to push on the subject, you wanted to help him in any way possible. 
This was the first time Alastor had raised his voice at you. 
“ Are you okay?” you lifted your head toward your friend. “ He won’t go to war, from what the paper says, it seems like it’s going to end soon!” she smiled at you as she took your hand in hers. You sighed, praying that you would never have to send Alastor to war. Alastor has tried to reassure you by saying that if he were to go to war, he would be an amazing soldier.
War is like a big hunt.
“ Yes, yes… I think I’m going to go home. I need to finish some homework and I don’t want to leave my mother alone.”
“ Did Delilah steal your work again?”
“ I think, but who cares, I’ll just do it again… Well, your beautifulness, might I walk you home?” you bowed as she laughed and you began to walk toward the richest quartier of New Orleans. You gossiped with Alice about what happened during this school’s week. She was so sure John was interested in pursuing a relationship with you. You rolled your eyes at her, she always liked love’s story. 
You did too, you weren’t going to lie, but when you thought about your future with a husband… You thought about–
“ Well, here we are! Are you sure you don’t want to stay here, I made cupcakes this morning!” she exclaimed with a big grin. You smiled at her, saying you really needed to go home. 
You waved her goodbye and walked home. You tried to make your way home quickly, if you were lucky, a letter from your father would be waiting for you at home. You had prayed each day that once the stupid war was over, he would come back alive. You opened your house’s door and went inside, hurrying toward the living room.  Did your father sended you a letter ?
“ Look who’s here~”
You turned around with a big smile, feeling your heart thumb loudly in your chest. How could he make you react like this everytime?
“ Alastor !” You hugged him before kissing him on both cheeks. Alastor had stopped flinching when you were touching him, even more surprising , he was very clingy with you. Always being in your personal space like he owned it. 
“ Seems like someone drank hot chocolate but didn't bother wiping her mouth.” he wiped your bottom lips with his gloved hand. You flushed as he stared at your mouth, keeping his finger on your lips. You could see your own reflection in his glasses. Unlike before, you couldn’t read Alastor as easily as when he was a child, unless you were alone together and mister decided to be “vulnerable” with you.  But you… You always felt safe and most of all, you felt seen.
Alastor always had a glint in his eyes when he was looking at you. You’ve never seen him look at something or someone else like this… And you liked it. Was it selfish to crave his attention… maybe not. You both were friends, special friends, childhood friends… But, Oh Lord, sometimes you craved more, but you didn’t know what. If Alastor was looking at you like this as a friend, how would he look at his future wife? 
“ Oh my dear, you look starving.”
You gasped as you took a step back while Alastor was smirking at you, his arms folded behind his back. You stuck your tongue to him, like you used to, you were maybe a young lady now, but with Alastor you were… yourself.
“ Young lady ! Didn’t I tell you to stop sticking your tongue ! I’m sorry, Alastor.” said your Mother while Marie, who was just behind her, was laughing behind her hand. “ Good Lord, when you both are together you are back to being children, God preserve me.” she sighed as she went into the kitchen.
“ Yes, listen to your Mother. Keep your tongue inside your pretty mouth.” teased Alastor as he sat on the sofa with his usual mocking smile. “ Now my dear, do you have news to share with me?”
You sat on the other side of the sofa and began to gossip as you usually did. There weren’t any microphones or notes like when you were children, but it was the same as your broadcast like you used to do in his bedroom. Just you and Alastor, gossiping about your daily life.
“ And then Alice said that John was interested in me but I think he just–”
“ Should I be alarmed ? It’s not the first time I heard this name ?” teased Alastor as he took off his glasses to clean them with a tissue from his chest pocket.
“ Which one? Alice? She wants to meet you…” you mumbled and tensed when you saw Alastor’s smile.
“ Well, why didn't you say so! I would be delighted to meet the darling that blesses my sweet little friend with her presence when I’m not here!” he exclaimed as he stood up. You jumped off the sofa as you forced him to sit back down. 
“ No Alastor !”
“ Oh come on my dear, do you want to keep me all to yourself ? How bold.” he smiled as he watched you struggle to keep him sitting. You groaned and decided to just sit on his lap to keep him from standing up. So there you were on your knees on each side of his thighs. You heard him inhale deeply, his hand gripping the sofa. Don’t blushed, don’t blushed, don’t blushed…
“ How bold, indeed, dear…” he stared at you, without his glasses. There it was. That glint. The one who made you… Feeling strange. You didn’t know if you were scared or…or what? There was something lingering in the air... He opened his mouth but you cut him off.
“ What do you want for your birthday ?”
His body tensed for a second, staring straight at you before he relaxed himself and laughed, tilting his head backward. He shook his head as he rolled his eyes.
“ Well, just like always. Celebrating with you and Mother. What could I ask for more?” he smiled at you but as you tried to stand up from his thighs, he grabbed your waist and pulled you near his face. “ Should we invite John?”
“ Who–? Wait, John? Why?” you frowned as you looked at his smile which seemed tense. He was grabbing your waist tighter now. His grip should hurt you but.. it was oddly comfortable. Why did he suddenly change–?
“ Wait… Are you jealous?” you smiled as you saw his smile twitched. “ Yes, yes, you are. Haha !” you laughed hoping you sounded mocking, but even to your ears, you almost sounded pleased, relieved. You squeaked as he pinned you to the sofa and began to tickle you. You squirmed as your laughter was getting louder and louder, gasping for air.
“ Do you remember the rules, dear?” he asked with a cunning smile, knowing perfectly that you couldn’t answer right now. “ Rule number one:  Never drop your guard.” he stopped tickling you “ Go on dear. Rule number two?” he tilted his head toward you, staring at your red and teary face.
“ You are the strongest here.” you gasped as you tried to wipe your tears that threatened to stream down your face but Alastor holded both of your wrist in one hand.
“ Rule number three.” 
“ I give up…” you breathed as you closed your eyes. You felt his head next to yours, his lips almost touching your ears. 
“ Give up yourself to me.”
Your eyes opened suddenly, feeling your body being hot. You looked at Alastor who was above you but he seemed confused. He tilted his head as he watched your expression.
“ Are you okay, you look almost as red as Eamon ?” he laughed at you as he stood up, putting his glasses back on.
“ What did you just say?” you asked, your voice a mere whisper.
“... You look almost as red as Eamon?” you shook your head as you sat up and stared at him. He seemed really confused, did you imagine this? Is it what you wanted to hear? You groaned as you hid your face in your head, it was because of Alice’s stories, your mind was playing tricks on you now! “ By the way dear, it seems like you have a letter.” he said as he held a letter to you. It was from your father ! 
You took the letter from his hand with a happy grin, the letter was already open, surely your mother, and read what your father wanted you to know. He was okay, he missed you but mostly there were rumors about how the war will be soon over. you sighed in relief. Your father would come home. You just knew it. You looked at Alastor who was observing your face.
“ You still have no news from your father?”
“ No, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had been killed for insubordination.” he said with detachment as he looked at his nails. You nodded before turning your head toward the entrance where you heard a knock. You stood up and went to open the door and froze.
“ Alice ?”
“ I’ll be quick, you forgot your bag at the coffee shop.” she smiled as she held your bag toward you. 
“ How… But… You went back to the coffee shop?”
“No, no, a gentleman came to my door and asked if the bag was mine.”
“ Alice… A man came to your door with my bag and you are not worried ? How did he know where you lived ? Does that mean he followed us?” you forced her to enter your house, looking outside “ What does he look like?” You squealed as you were jerked inside the house by your dress. You turned to see Alastor who was staring at you, with a pissed expression, his smile still present.
“ Are you dumb? If there is a man who is following you, why would you show your face, confirming that you are living here.” he asked you coldly. You closed the door quickly. 
“ The man isn’t here for me, if he is here. He didn’t follow me, he followed her.” you pointed to Alice. “ You can understand that, I mean, look at her.” 
You watched as Alastor looked at Alice. You couldn’t see his face but you saw Alice’s who seemed to try to make herself even smaller than she was. He shook her hand with his usual charming smile you guessed.
“ Quite a pleasure to be meeting you, I’ve heard a lot of you. You seemed like a clever woman, I would have never guessed that you would walk down the street with a soon to be stalker at your feet, bringing this man to my dear friend’s door!” 
“ N-nice to be meeting you, sir. I’m.. I’m sorry..?” Alice stared at you, begging you with her eyes to do something. You sighed, you have told her Alastor was intense.
“ No, no, No need to be sorry. It is not your fault, but the gentleman’s one. You both shouldn’t stay outside alone.”
“ Alastor, maybe we are overthinking. Maybe he was a nice gentleman–”
“ Oh my friend, hush.” he turned to Alice “ What did he look like?”
You watched as Alice described the man’s appearance. You were dumbfounded. Did Alastor just shush you? You crossed your arms on your chest as you pouted, watching both of your friends talking. They looked good together… You bit your lips. No. Alice wouldn’t be able to stay an entire day with Alastor. You stomped your foot on the floor and you clapped your hand together.
“ Well, dear friends of mine, go into the living room, I'll go with some drinks.”
“ No, no, I won’t bother you any longer. I’m going home.” 
“ I’ll accompany you.Stay here.”
You stared in shock as Alastor went into the kitchen where your mothers were. Did he just say what you thought he said? Alice came closer to you and winked at you.
“ He seems like a good man, keep it up.”
Alastor came back with his jacket on, he opened the door for Alice and left without kissing you goodbye. You stared at the closed door. Did Alastor fall for Alice, like every boy she met? You ran to your room, and jumped on your bed, burying your face in your pillow. Did he really leave, leaving his mother? you threw your pillow on the wall.
“ To hell with him ! I don’t need him.” you said as you wiped the tears that you haven’t even felt falling down your cheeks. You went to the bathroom, ignoring your mother and Marie’s question about your teary eyes. You washed up, put on a nightgown and went into your bed. You stared at the wall before closing your eyes. You couldn’t fall asleep, you were imaginiting Alice and Alastor walking down the road, hands in hands. You felt tears whelming up in your eyes. You didn’t care! You didn’t! 
You didn’t know how long you kept thinking about it but you were still awake when you felt a hand stroking your cheeks. You sighed , nuzzling your cheek against the hand. You guessed your mother was coming to comfort you even though she didn’t know why you were upset.
“ Dear friend, why are you crying?”
You sat up immediately and stared at the person in front of you.
“ Alastor…Why are you here?” you asked as you held the cover against you. You didn’t want him to see you like this. Crying over him. You were too proud. And you weren’t crying for him! 
“ Well, I came to give you your kiss, dummy.” he approached his face toward you, staring at your eyes. “ But why are you crying? Is it because of the man?” his eyes went cold, his smile widened but there was no warmth like usual. He seemed.. menacing. “ Did he come here? Did he touch you? Where?”
 You just stared at him as tears were falling down your cheeks. It seemed like seeing you cry made him more and more upset.
“ This bastard was here? I fucking walked your little friend home so I could see if someone was lingering around here and that bastard had the nerve to come and–”
You didn’t know what came over you, you covered his face with your blanket and you kissed the place where the blanket covered his lips. He froze. You pressed your lips against the tissue and then slowly, stepped back.  You stared at him, his face still covered…
“ No.. I was just… afraid that you would leave me for Alice.” you whispered looking at his frame. Seeing that he didn’t remove the blanket, you understood that… he knew that both of you would not be talking about what is happening right now. “ She is a beautiful lady, and she is interesting, sweet… a perfect lady you would say.”
“ Don’t put words in my mouth dear.” You chuckled as he moved his hand toward your cheek, wiping your tears away. “ So, you thought she was going to take me away from you? How absurd. Nothing could tear me away from you, not even yourself.”
You stopped breathing at this confession, your heart beating even stronger. You didn’t know what to do with all of your feelings. You were just so relieved that Alastor saw your friendship like you did.
“ Can I take off your blanket now?”
You laughed and uncovered his face, his warm smile was back, his glint in his eyes even more present. You looked away, fidgeting with your nightgown. You needed to erase the tension quickly.
“ You look like an absolute mess my dear friend! I’ll let you rest and please, do get your beauty sleep unless you want to crack every mirror you shall see.” he laughed as you tried to hit him with a pillow. He kissed you on the forehead, giggling before leaving your bedroom. “ See you soon, doll~!”
You fell on your bed with a big smile and hid your face into your pillow.
You didn’t know what happened but it made your feel better.
Tag List: lukneetoonz @martinys-world @littlepoetnova @sirens-and-moonflowers @eris-norwega @tiredflame132 @mo-0-o @vvollerie
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jarofalicesgrunge · 2 years
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Layne Staley
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buckrecs · 1 year
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2023 𝙗𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙘 𝙧𝙚𝙘 3
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masterlist | ✨- fav fics | status - completed
All of them are COMPLETE Series.
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1. Galavano by @ichorai
Bucky x Reader
a series that follows the hero galvano through the events of the mcu!
2. Time (D)rift by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor
Dark!Bucky x Reader Apocalypse AU
The end has come and gone as you keep waiting for your own.
3. Uncontrollable by @fictional-affairs
Bucky x Widow!Reader
The year is 1992. The Winter Soldier is under HYDRA’s control, and the Red Widow is under Dreykov’s control, but when they find out their organizations are working together to have them kill each other, they decide to make a deal.
4. The Lake House by @rustytricycle
Dark!Bucky x Dark!Reader
You decide to spend the summer before Freshman year of college with two of your girlfriends at one of their parents’ lake house. It turns out that Captain America and his two best friends are staying next door. Bucky thinks you might be his perfect girl. But are you too perfect?
5. turn a blind eye by @sergeantxrogers
Bucky x Reader
The Winter Soldier was cold. Brutal. Unflinching. A machine formulated to comply. Bucky Barnes was the sun warming your skin, your happy pill. Loving him was like bittersweet liquor, sickeningly sweet when you sip, harsh and burning when you swallow.
6. Rooftop Sessions by @forever-rogue
Bucky x Therapist!Reader
Y/N is a therapist that works with war veterans that ends up meeting a mysterious stranger who asks for her help.
7. it’s all fun and games, until you catch feelings by @prettyyoungtragedy
Bucky x Reader
You’re pining after Steve and Bucky is pining after Nat, what better way to distract yourself from those two perfect humans than to distract yourselves with each other?! Fuck buddies it is then.
8. oh my delightful heart by @prettyyoungtragedy
Sequel to it’s all fun and games
Bucky Barnes is the sweetest dumbest most adoring boyfriend any girl could ever ask for... 
9. Follow My Lead by @ciarawritesmarvel ✨
Bucky x Reader
You and your new friend Wanda are enjoying a day together at the Avengers Tower, her giving you a tour around the place when you both run into the infamous Bucky Barnes. Moments later, he’s introducing you to Sam as his girlfriend and placing a kiss on your temple and you’re not sure you’ve ever been so confused in your life.
10. The Maid of Mr. Barnes by @disasterofastory
Mob!Bucky x Reader
You get a job as Mr. Barnes's maid. You heard about the notorious gangster, but since you desperately need money and a place to live, you are not in a position to be picky.
11. Guiding Light by @wkemeup ✨
Bucky x Avenger!Reader
It was supposed to be a simple mission. Get the intel and go home. Until everything goes wrong and you’re taken captive by Hydra. While you struggle to stay alive and hold your sanity, Bucky begins to lose himself to a darkness and gives into the soldier because he doesn’t know how to breathe without you. Not until he brings you home. If he even can.
12. Home | Better by @softlyspector ✨
Bucky x Reader Modern AU
Bucky comes home from his second tour overseas, after a long time away from the reader.
13. Mad For You by @i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend
Bucky x Reader Modern AU
Nat hosts a costume masquerade. Bucky meets the Alice to his Hatter. Shenanigans ensue. 
14. Sanguis Sanguinis Mei by @captainscanadian
Vampire!Bucky x Vampire!Reader
It took Bucky Barnes two centuries with the blood of his blood to realize how much he loved her. This is their story. 
15. Another World by @sinner-as-saint
Alien!Bucky x Reader
In a futuristic world - a millennium from now, you and your team rescue and care for stranded and hurt otherworldly beings; who are held captive and kept on Earth against their wills. You save them from the bad guys who exploit them. You help them adjust to your planet’s life, and give them their freedom back. Then one day, while on a rescue mission, you come across a human-like extraterrestrial being; in a cryogenic chamber, with a missing arm. And nothing is ever the same again…
16. Picking Up The Pieces by @gogolucky13
Bucky x Reader Modern AU
Bucky chooses to stay in his tumultuous relationship knowing you’ll be there to pick up the pieces, until finally you’re not.
17. Knight In Rusty Armor by @revengingbarnes ✨
Knight!Alpha!Bucky x Queen!Omega!Reader
For the sake of politics and to get rid of you, their omega daughter, the King and Queen of England marry you off to the King of France. Settling into an unfamiliar monarchy is a tedious process all by itself, but a new problem arises soon after your arrival at your new home. One of the Knights turns out to be your true mate. Your Alpha. The one you are meant to be with. But you’re mated to someone else. And that someone else is the King of France.
18. The Escaped Bride by @marvelouslytrekking
Pirate!Bucky x Reader
Being forced to marry someone was not something you wanted, but when it turns out that it is to your best friend, who you secretly loved, things weren’t so bad. Unfortunately, good things don’t seem to last and when the worst happens, you refuse to sit around and be miserable. Will you find true love again, or will your life be turned upside down?
19. Plot Twist by @winterarmyy
Mafia!Bucky x Reader
An arranged marriage with mafia!bucky.
20. The Road Goes Ever On and On by @rocketrhap3000 ✨
Bucky x Single Mom!Reader
Life as a single mother of a three year old certainly has its struggles. But when a sweet stranger makes his way into you and your little boy’s life, a one of a kind connection sparks.
21. you’re my desire by @marvelouslizzie & @notafunkiller
40s!Bucky x Reader
Your best friend drags you out on a double date. You were supposed to be Steve Rogers’ date but plans change pretty quickly and you end up in Bucky Barnes’ arms.
22. Death Do Us Part by @sgtjbuccky ✨
God Of Death!Bucky x Mortal!Reader
For centuries, the God of Death had known two things about mortals. One, they were his job, his to collect when their days came to an end, and two, they were obnoxiously odd beings. Their purpose ceased to make sense to him. Never did he understand why they created a life for themselves, why they loved, why they loved other mortals when they knew that none of it would last forever. It was nothing but sheer stupidity, but that was until he met you. A mortal unlike any other. A mortal that would make him question everything. A mortal that would teach the God of Death how to live.
23. Lost In Each Other by @majestyeverlasting ✨
Dad!Bucky x Mom!Reader
For Bucky, one of the best things to come home to is family. Especially after a day at work. So he's pleasantly surprised when you want to show him a new dress after dinner one night. And it just so happens that little Eden and Jamie find a way to work themselves into the equation. But it all makes for good fun and memories you will never forget.
24. Fight For Me by @littleseasiren
Bucky x Reader
After years in an abusive relationship, you finally get out. When the Avengers decide to raise awareness for your Battered Women's Home, you bump into Bucky Barnes, the hottest, most complicated man you've ever met. He thinks you're too good for him, but when your abusive ex reappears, Bucky knows he has to keep you safe - by any means necessary.
25. call me baby by @cherryrogers ✨
Biker!Bucky x Reader
Returning to Brooklyn for the summer after a year of travelling from city to city, you hadn’t expected to find your best friend, Peggy Carter, hopelessly in love with a biker, and when she decided to introduce you to the rest of his club, you hadn’t expected to fall for one either — that was until you met one with pretty eyes and a habit of calling you baby.
26. Static Verse by @theconstantsidekick ✨
Bucky x Enhanced!Reader
Tony Stark's sister's a fucking badass, codename—Static. Here's her story through the MCU.
27. Bygone by @borntobewondering
Bucky x Reader
You and Peter get sent back in time, and you fall in love with someone unexpected.
28. Clockwork by @aries-writingblog ✨
Bucky x Reader
Bucky has moved on. He’s found a place in the new world of the 21st Century. Found peace. But the past is always half a step behind him, waiting to snatch him backwards- like clockwork.
29. Deny the truth, set the world on fire by @lizatill
Bucky x Reader, Dark!Winter Soldier x Reader
He knew that she was having an affair...she denies, but the love marks on her body are still there. She can't tell him the truth, it will break him - the Winter Soldier is indeed inside of him, fucking her at night and Bucky doesn't remember.
30. Carnations by @viollettes
Bucky x Reader College AU
It’s a simple concept: Students can buy flowers for each other at the carnation sale. Red flowers are for love, pink flowers are for friendship, and white flowers are for expressing secret admiration. A carnation fundraiser, an iota of possibility, and a longtime secret crush on your hot best friend - what could go wrong?
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tarasmithshifts · 5 months
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𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐃𝐑 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄: 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓
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𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐑. Almost 20 years! But time for me as a vampire is diffrent (i will explain that later lmao) 𝐀𝐆𝐄: as a vampire literally from 0-20 lmao 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒: still single butttt we are close to something lmao
「 ✦ 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼 ✦ 」
hello? how are we feeling? I AM SO BACK? i'm super happy tell what happened, but everything will go super fast until cullens and I will move to forks
sooo let's get starteeeeeeeed
「 ✦ before forks ✦ 」
𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮 - 𝓫𝓮𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓴𝓼
1989 - i become a vampire
89-97 i learn how to live as one of the cullens
97-03 me and cullens live in mountains
2003 - we move to forks
1 9 8 9 - 2 0 0 3
so there is not much to write about, it was basically me learning and living in the mountains with the cullens. That’s when i decided to stay with the cullens as part of a family 🫶 we got to know each other etc. 😋
F O R K S
in 2003 we (finally) moved to forks! AND BEFORE WE MOVE ON:
I TOTALLY RECOMMEND SHIFTING TO TWILIGHT. THE VIBE IS E V E R Y T H I N G AND I WILL NOT DESCRIBE EVERYTHING HERE BC I JUST WANT YOU TO SHIFT THERE AND SEE YOURSELF LMAOOO
the cullens are sooooooooooo sweet and nice i'm literally DYING to see them again when i shift back there!
alice is the sweetest & nicest person on earth. i love her <3
SO
when we moved in, of course me and edward, alice, jasper ,emmet and rosalie needs to go to school, and that's when it all starts!
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— ୨୧₊˚ school
it's actually pretty good there - i kept myself with the cullens, we spent whooooole days with each other and it's honestly pretty funny watching everybody from this perspective. (bella moved to forks in 2005, and i will probably skip a lot of things that are not important lmaooo). in school i "met" some of bella's future friends, and i meaaaaaaaaaan they were not giving any good vibe y'know? I JUST DON'T LIKE THEM OKAYYY
alice and edward are literally the best people on earth. THEY HELPED ME SOOO MUCH. gosh. and carlisle and esme???? the cutest oh my goooood.
actually school is pretty fun. i love going to schools in my drs (like hogwarts etc.) it's pretty fun experience!
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— ୨୧₊˚ before 2005
pretty much nothing happened before 2005
HAHAHAHAHAHA SIKEEEE
ladies and gentleman, please welcome raphael pelli. bro is MAJESTIC.
basically his father is from Italy and his mother is from US, they decided to stay in USA, they lived in New York, but decided to move to forks where his mom was growing up. AND THAT'S HOW WE MET Y'ALLLLLLLLL.
and when i tell you he just freaking appeared there. literally from nowhere (i did not script how we will met, just a little bit from his backstory, just wanted to play with it and see what will happen!!!)
so one day in 2004, around may i just walked to school, as usual with edward (we were literally spending much more time with each other by then, yk, because alice was with jasper, emmet was with rosalie, we didn't want to interrupt lmao) and we saw some boys gathering around someone, when we walked pass them, i saw freaking raphael pelli. like for a milisecond. BUT WHEN I TELLL YOUUUUUU
timothee was the greatest choice for face claim i ever made LMAO
that was the first time i saw him, later i did not see him much, sometimes our eyes crossed during lunch, but that's all. BUT
yup, there is a BUT
BUT
during one of history classes he rushed in late, apologised and after few seconds of thinking he sat next to me. DUDE
and also i forgot to tell you about on thing. ABOUT SMELL. you know, it's known that vampires smell blood and shit, but i decided to do something a little bit diffrent - scripted that i do not smell just "blood" in general. for example = bella smelled like vanilla mixed with a little bit of honey. you know what i mean? i think it's better than just "a smell of blood". so,
i scripted that raphael smelled like fresh flowers on a glade. and i just sat there, in history class, thinking about that goddamn flowers. AND AFTER THE LESSON ENDED HE TURNED TO ME.
i was like "oh shit" and he went "i'm raphael" and i was still like "oh shit" so i just said "tara." BUT WHEN I TELL YOU that when i shifted i started using vivienne instead of tara. idk why, but it is soooo pretty. so i just added "but i prefer vivienne" AND GOSH
he just asked some questions like "you are living with the cullens?" (yes) "so you are also cullen?" (yes indeed) "people are talking" (people are always talking) "would you like to do the history presentation with me?" (the history teacher always gave us presentations to do in pairs, but i have always done them alone) (i always do them alone) "oh sorry" and i was like shiiiiiiiiiiiiit i fucked up, so i tried in other way (people will think you are a freak) "'why?" (no one talks to the freaky cullens. we are weird) "oh." and we just stared at each other in silence it was sooooo awkward for a second, but THEN HE SAID "i don't think you are a freak"
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH SHFKWEHFIUHWRUFIRIUGHUG
BRO. DO NOT TALK TO ME RN. IT'S THE FIRST THING I WROTE HERE WHEN I WOKE UP FROM THIS SHIFT. IM THINKING ABOUT THIS 24/7 how should i move on.
so we talked on our way out to the parking lot (as it was the last class of that day) you know, just some silly stuff, i asked him where is he from, why his famly moved here, how he finds himself here, he asked about my life before the cullens and I moved to forks, so obv i lied that we lived in canada, but we decided to move here as carlisle received a job offer. when we were outside and i saw edward waiting for me i just said bye and left it was soooooo awkward he just said "see ya" and went to his car IM SOOO MAD AT MYSELF THAT I DID NOT TALK TO HIM MORE THEN GOSH I WASTED THE POTENCIAL
so when i got back to car and edward was just standing there and was like "what was that" and i went "what?" and he went "y'know what" and i was like "oh that. he started talking to me in class, so i didn't want to be mean and continued" and he went "sure" BRO. EDWARD. STOP IT.
i can confirm that edward was first shipper here LMAOOOO
spoiler: i did the presentation with raphael. and we actually became friends? i mean we talked a lot during our classes, sometimes after, it was greattttttt AND HE SAID HE LIKES ME? and i was like bro HOOOOOLD UP. hold onnnnnnn. he sometimes even WAITED FOR ME after some classes to go with me to the parking lot etc. GOSH
in the next school year i decided to talk to him moreeee i mean i waited for that moment for so long LIKE LET US BE TOGETHER ALREADY GOD LMAO
once i sat with him and him only during lunch break, of course after that i think rosalie told carlisle about this and carlisle maybe he wasn't mad, no, he was just overprotective and was telling me "you know it will not work like that" "be careful you are still very young" and iiiiiiiiiiiii knooooooooooooow.
but i didn't stop talking to raphael hell no LMAO
— ୨୧₊˚ 2005
in january bella moves to forks, and one day when i'm waiting for edward on a parking lot after lessons and he comes back, i caan see something in him yk??? like something changed??? so i asked him "what happened?" he didn't respond and just opened the car door. "you know i can go inside your mind without you knowing right?" i laughed, AND HE LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS CRAZY OR SOMETHING LMAO
so he just told me about bella, and that she is diffrent than others.
after that in the evening i decided to shift back <3
it was super fun i will probably do some other posts about the cullens, AN ABOUT SOME MORE SITUATIONS ABOUT RAPHAEL!!!!!!! AND ABOUT THE MURDER BEFORE BELLA MOVED TO FORKS!!!!!!!!!! i wanted to give you this as fast as possible so so that's why there is not much in here! but bare with me lmao!!!!
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Bear with me because I’ve never written a head cannon before.
Meeting you for the first time even though you’re shy
Edit: I added vampire Bella because someone said I should
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Carlisle
- You got into and accident and broke your foot
- He think its cute how you wont make eye contact with him and you mumble
- He instantly feels a connection to you and wonders if you also feel something
- He’s scared that he’s going to scare you
- He wants to make you feel comfortable around him, he wants you to trust him enough and let yourself out
- He admires how you try to be brave even though you’re shy
- You have a stutter? He loves it
- He wants to tell you everything about himself immediately but knows you might run if he does so he stays away from the topic
- He’s mysterious, checking up on you when you don’t know he’s there.
- the night after you left the hospital he stood in your room watching you sleep to make sure you were alright
- He kept watching over you intently until your foot was fully healed, even then he still was there
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Esme
- As her eyes land on you she wants to immediately bring you into a tight hug
- She met you while she was helping out at the school
- She asks if you’re lost because you’ve been wandering the halls for the past 15 minutes
- Has the sweetest laugh when you quietly ask her where a class is
- She introduces herself and walks you to the class, speaking to the teacher out in the hall so you don’t get into trouble
- She feels very protective of you, she knew you were special the moment she saw you
- Whenever she’s at the school she’ll stop by one of your classes to say hi
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Edward
- He met you on your first day at school, you were both sophomores
- He thought you wouldn’t like him at first because when he first introduced himself you shied away
- He gets to know you at your own pace and by your senior year you’re close friends
- He walks you to all your classes even if you don’t share them
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Alice
- She saw you coming and made sure she met you early
- You met at a movie theatre while you were watching your favourite movie
- She sat next to you and after the movie she asked you what you thought about it
- She listened intently as you rambled about your favourite parts, and she laughed when you looked away realizing how loud you were being
- She offered to give you a ride home since you took a bus
- Giving you her number she left, saying she’d love to hang out with you again and that she hopes you become good friends
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Jasper
- He immediately noticed you in a room of people, your emotions were so strong he gravitated towards you
- He sat beside you as you waited for a doctors appointment. He was visiting his father.
- He used his gift to calm you down and talked to you
- You wondered why you felt so calm around him
- After your appointment he was still there, waiting for you
- “I hope you don’t mind me waiting for you. You seemed so nervous I just wanted to make sure everything went okay.”
- He gave you his number in case you ever wanted to talk
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Rosalie
- You worked at a café across from the salon she went to
- She was a regular, you liked how she always ordered the same thing so you didn’t really need to talk to her
- She compliments you a lot
- She ends up giving you her number, saying how cute you were and how she wants to take you out sometime
- She likes how flustered she makes you
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Emmett
- He goes on runs (human runs) past your neighbourhood everyday
- One day it starts raining and he asks if he can stay in your house until it stops
- You reluctantly agree, you end up hitting it off
- You watch your favourite movies and end up having a great time
- It becomes apparent later that he likes you
- You like to call him a big teddy bear
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Bella (As a vampire)
- You got into a little trouble with her dad, what did you do? Just a little, teensy weensy crime. Nothing major
- Charlie thought you and Bella would be good friends so he introduced you to her
- She wonders how someone as shy as you could do a crime, even if it was little
- She admires you from afar and when you’re together
- She’ll take you anywhere you want, you remind her of her when she was human and she wants to protect you at all costs
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chelireads · 2 months
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“As the last plates were cleared, Rhaenyra begged Daemon to take her to dance. She looked and behaved like a child begging for a treat, and nothing like a woman grown and wed, much less one who presumed to be queen one day.
It was vulgar and uncalled for. A pathetic display if ever there had been one. ”
Excerpt From
Alicent IV
The Blacks & the Greens
By Sweetest Popcorn @sweetestpopcorn
[completed ver.]
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[They match each other’s freak your honor 🙌]
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