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appreciatethefoolishness · 4 years

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BUNNY TROUBLE | 06

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07

― pairing: jeongguk x reader

― genre: mostly fluff, softness, jungkook dancing lol, disgusting romance!! bunny!jeongguk, (kind of) hybrid!jeongguk, magical wishes, taehyung!best friend, tae being kinda a bitch, swearing, crack/humor lol i tried, more swearing, a tiny bit of subtle angst and SMUT; fat cock!jungkook, handjob, blowjob, subby!koo, whining, whimpers, dry humping, virgin!jungkook

― word count: 4k

― summery: a quick decision to save a hurt bunny on the side of the road might not seem like a big deal to many people. y/n doesn’t think much of it either and decides to take care of the little male rabbit but what she doesn’t expect is when he one night turns into a human and hell breaks loose…

― a/n: I made a playlist for this series!!

― OFFICIAL PLAYLIST

posted on: April 13, 2020 don’t post/copy my work without my permission ©

You could feel your phone falling out of your hand as Taehyung’s words echoed in your head. The sun rays hitting your face didn’t feel so warm anymore and it was almost like a cold stream washed over you as you sat there, frozen.

It really was like a wave with emotions hit you and as you looked over at the sweetest boy snoring beside you, you felt your heart break a little. He looked so peaceful with his eyes closed, his long lashes hitting his soft skin as his chest heaved up and down. You wondered quietly how it will feel in a few weeks when your bed will be cold and empty without him...

Bird’s song outside the window made him stir in his sleep and yawn as he slowly opened his puffy eyes. As soon as he saw you a heartwarming smile broke out on his face and for a few seconds everything in the world was meaningless except this.

“Goo’ morning,” he mumbled, his hair a total mess around his head as he reached for you. He embraced your hips as he tried to drag you down with him. You shrieky laugh escaped your throat in surprise as you landed on his chest, he rubbed his nose against your cheek before kissing it. “Mhmm, my noona,” he mumbled while pecking your soft skin.

His raspy voice and lovey-dovey actions made you flush, "my googie," you mumbled back, "did you sleep well, sweetheart?"

He seemed to keen at the pet name and arch his back as you let your finger run through his silky locks. He hummed and buried his face between your shoulder and throat and before you could react he had already begun sucking on the sensitive area.

A soft gasp fell from your lips by the feeling of his mouth on your neck and his warm body pressed against yours. You hadn’t really had the time to think through what happened yesterday, everything from kissing Jeongguk to him fingering you in one of the bathrooms in the club. You almost thought you had ruined your relationship but by the way his lips moved against your skin you calmed down a bit

Eventually, he pulled away, his big hand cupping your cheek as he stared into your eyes. His were sparkling with warmness and something you couldn't pinpoint as he leaned in, his hot breath tickling your lips before he closed the remaining distance between the two of you. His kiss was nothing like your first, this time it was soft and slow almost like he didn’t want it to end. With your eyes closed you began moving your lips against his with just as much gentleness, feeling his heart against yours.

All your worries and thoughts about future heartbreaks disappeared with him. It was like magic, the way he just captured you and everything felt good again. His soft lips and steady hands as he let them roam down your back and hips, making you break out in a sheepish big smile. Jeongguk only mirrored you and soon your stuipd grins had broken the kiss as you just smiled at one other. A laugh escaping you.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, almost for himself, while brushing his long fingers through your hair. Petting your head as the stars in his eyes gleamed at you, “really, why are you so bewitching, noona?”

You felt your cheeks heat up, “Bewitching?” you repeated, a humorous grin playing on your new-kissed lips, “Where can you possibly have learned that word, guk?”

“Ehm, on a k-drama?” he said, the tips of his ears turning a shade darker.

You snorted softly before framing his face in your hands, cupping his rounded cheeks and following his lip line with the tip of your thumb, “But you’re wrong, cause’ there’s only one bewitching person in this room and it’s you Jeongguk. The most gorgeous man I’ve ever met.”

Silence emerged between you two and slowly Jeongguk’s blinding smile faded away. “Man?” he repeated your word in a whisper, “D-did you just call me a man?”

“Yeah, I did...” you said suddenly afraid you might have offended him but before you could apologize his whole face lit up and he turned you over making you laugh.

He giggled as he kissed you again, his hips planting themself between your legs letting you feel the very obvious morning boner he had working for himself. As he kept biting and sucking your lips you could almost swear his were made just for you. So sweet and soft and while you let your finger tracing the scar down his naked back he started grinding against you.

He moaned quietly as you locked your legs around his hips forcing his hard cock to get friction against your clothed core. His sweaty back muscles tensed under your hands and the warmness steaming off his most intimate part.

“Ah, please…” he whimpered and thrusted against you, his eagerness very apparent, “touch meee…”

His words went directly down to your cunt, making you clench around nothing and feel how your panties started to get damped. You kissed his neck, the place under his earlobe and he yelped as his dick twitched in excitement. Almost on command your fingers wandered down his chest to his crotch, palming the bulge over his pyjama pants feeling how thick and long he really was. Your eyes bulged out in surprise, you knew he was big but not this huge.

“Oh, what a big cock my baby boy has,” you purred right in his ear and he cried out in shock as you slipped your hand inside his boxers. Fingers wrapping around his girthy length as you pulled his underwear down, leaving his cock to stand proudly against his stomach showing off all the mouth-watering veins and precum leaking from the angry tip. “Pretty,” you whispered before and began stroking it up and down in a faster pace than what he was used to.

His whole body almost went slack at the intense pleasure from your hand but before he could crush you, you turned him around still with your fingers pinching the tip of his cock making him choke on air.

“I-it f-feels so go-ood,” he whined while pounding up in your cupped hand, his hefty balls jerking as he neared his end. “Ah, don’t stop!” he closed his eyes and spread his legs wider for you to use his cock however you’d like.

“Yeah, it feels just as good as when you were grinding against me in your sleep? Huh?” you sneered, tightening your grip around him causing a loud whine escaping his sinful lips. “Yeah, I know what a dirty boy you are, gukkie, I was awake.” And like the knowledge of you knowing what he did in his sleep made him even more desperate to cum now.

“I’m s-sorry, noona,” he cried as you jerked him off, the wet sound of your hand’s fast movements filling the room, “I-i couldn’t help it!”

“It’s okay, baby,” you cooed, tugging on his hair forcing his neck to be exposed, he gasped. And like you had expected was it full hickeys from the night before, gleaming with a thin layer of sweat. “Just be a good boy and cum when I let you,” you smirked and it was like you couldn’t control yourself from licking it all the way down to his abs, feeling the soft skin over the hard muscles. You kept sucking while bringing your tongue out to taste his salty skin until you face to face with his thick cock. You licked a fat strip from the base to the tip, cupping his tight balls in your other hand as you started sucking on the head, tasting the sweet taste of his precum.

“AHH!” he actually squealed as you sucked in your cheeks and began bobbing your head up and down his shaft. You knew this was his first blowjob but you couldn’t help yourself from being a little mean. Instead of letting him trust up in your throat you laid all your weight on his thick thighs so he couldn’t move. “I’m cumming noona…” he breathed, his face scrunched up in pleasing pain and you lifted your head up to smile.

“Then cum.”

He threw back his head against the pillow, a piercing cry leaving him as he let himself reach his orgasm. You kept stroking the rest of his leght you couldn’t fit in your mouth as the heavy shoots of cum began to fill you, and you were quick to swallow it all, milking him to the last drop. It was a lot, Jeongguk cum never seemed to stop painting the inside of your cheeks white but eventually it did.

Slowly, you removed your lips from his sensitive cock, his whimpers toning out while you wiped your mouth. “You okay?” you asked as you returned by his side, caressing his long bangs away from his eyes.

“Yeah,” he breathed, a small smile creeping on his lips while he unhurriedly opened his eyes. “Thank you.”

You giggled before kissing him again, taking his face between your hands and letting yourself feel the love he was radiating.

“Noona…” he eventually mumbled, his voice sounding a little uncertain, while pulling away, “W-what are we now?”

His chest was still heaving up and down from his climax and his face flushed with bashfulness.

“You mean like in our relationship?” you whispered, not breaking your intimate eye-contact. Jeongguk nodded, nervously biting his lip but you wouldn’t allow that, “It is whatever you want us to be,” you simply said and gave him another soft kiss making him smile. “You decide.”

At last you had taken Jeongguk to an amusement park and to say he was happy would not be enough to describe his excitement. It was the sound of Jeongguk’s joyful laughter that woke you up from your daze. Even though you tried not to think about it— Taehyung words from your fight or his text had been filling your mind the last few days. Even when you were with Jeongguk, you couldn't fully appreciate him as you didn’t know how many days left you had with him. So taking him to the carnival that he’s been talking about for weeks was just a little thing you could do.

Jeongguk had just finished one of the bigger rides of the park, his messy hair and his flushed cheeks making it obvious for anyone to figure out. And by the sight of his happy state, you couldn’t keep yourself from smiling.

“How was it?” you asked as you handed him his cotton candy.

You two had already ridden that roller coaster earlier but as the overexcited soul he was— he had wanted to go for another ride and then another until you told him to do it alone, otherwise you might actually had spilled your guts out.

“It was soo fun!” he grinned and sat down beside you on the bench, his nose crinkling so adorably as he took a bite of the sweetness off cloud in his hand. And his Bambi-eyes lit up at the sugar taste, “wow,” he whispered in awe.

You scoffed at his cuteness, it really was like taking a child to the festivals for the first time. Jeongguk’s liveliness made your heart ache, how could someone so pure and kind have to go back to being a bunny in the end of this month? Jeongguk kept chewing on his cotton candy and even offered you some but you gently denied, you had eaten it before.

“Oh, noona, can’t we also do that?!” he asked and pointed toward a couple that was taking cute selfies with each other. “Taking pictures, I mean?” he added as he saw them kissing each other making him ashamedly look away.

You snorted softly before taking your phone out. “Sure,” you laughed as he quickly wiped the sugar away from the corners of his mouth. As you raised your phone higher in the air to fit both of you in the frame Jeongguk leaned in and you started taking pictures. One was with you two just doing silly faces, another with you smiling and the last few with you kissing his cheek and him smiling shyly.

You smiled at the selfies of you and him on your phone.

The hour before the amusement park closed it supposed would be a performance there. You and Jeongguk had decided to not watch it as Jeongguk had noticed the subtle sadness that painted your face when he wasn’t looking. He was worried but before he could ask you why the loud bass of a song a few meters away from you two made you both stop in your tracks. Even though you were near the exit you looked over to the stage where a large group of boys were dancing to the song “Rainism” by Rain and Jeongguk apparently recognized it as well.

“Oh, I know this!” he exclaimed and before he knew it, you had dragged him toward the show.

Jeongguk had spend a lot of his time these months watching and practicing k-pop dances in front of your TV so when this opportunity came you wouldn’t let him miss it. Jeongguk started dancing and moving with the beat, surprisingly confident about the dance moves of the official dance. These type of performances were mostly famous for inviting random people up to dance with them so it wasn’t that shocking when Jeongguk was dragged up.

He obviously loved it, by judging of his smile and laugh as he just fitted perfectly in with the other professional dancers. At the end of the dance Jeongguk hurried to run to you, lifting you up in a hug so affected by his excitement.

“Noona, did you see that?!” he yelled over all the loud noises and spun you around.

“Of course, you were so good!” you blurted out and hugged him back.

“Hey, excuse me!” a guy, with silver colored hair, in your age said beside you. Jeongguk gently let you go and turned to the new guy. “You were amazing man, are you a dancer?”

Jeongguk, a little taken back that a stranger was taking to him, shook his head. “Eh, no I just do it for fun…”

“Well, damn,” the guy laughed, “I’m Park Jimin by the way,” he said and reached for a card in his pocket. “And I work for an agency that’s looking for new back up dancers, give us a call if you’re interested!”

You three talk a little more before parting, Jimin really being sure to praise Jeongguk for his sharp and precise moves before saying goodbye. On the train ride home Jeongguk couldn’t stop smiling and holding your hand, it was like the sun rays were shining on him even though it was dark.

“Thank you for taking me there,” he eventually mumbled, his nose rubbing lovingly against your temple before kissing it. “I really enjoyed today with you noona.”

“Yeah, me too.” You laughed. “That guy, Jimin, even recognizes your talent for dancing. How do you feel about that?”

“It was perfect.” He whispered and he was right. Too perfect.

“Wait, he invited you into his apartment?!” you gasped as Mina quickly hushed you with a finger against your lips.

“God, when you say it like that it makes it sound like something totally different!” she mumbled and closed the cap of the copier. Her blonde hair was tied in a loose bun on her head making the rosy blush on her cheeks, she always had when she thought about her neighbor, even more obvious, “He just felt bad that I was locked out of my apartment. Nothing happened, we just talked.”

“Uh-huh,” you smirked and wiggled your eyebrows, “Talked about what?”

“Well, if you must know, we chatted about our professions and apparently, he’s a doctor—,”

“Ohh, what kind of doctor?” you asked but before she could answer a loud cry made you both turn around.

A girl, one of your many co-workers you hadn’t had the time to get to know, ran the fastest she could in her heels down the long hallway. Not only was tears streaming down her face as she tightly held her blouse together but her hair and makeup were ruined.

You and Mina quickly exchanged looks, you clearly more surprised than what she was.

“What was—?”

Mina just sighed as she collected the newly copied documents for the next meeting. “Lee Howon-nim’s second secretary for the mouth,” she began explaining and you followed her suit as she started walking back toward the room where the meeting was gonna take place. “You know he’s that type of boss who hires young girls to use and then later fires them when he’s done with them.”

You furrowed your brows in disgust, not only was he an asshole but also a shameless pervert who abused his power for sexual pleasure in his workspace? You shuddered.

“And, God, I wonder if he also did that when he had a wife, wouldn’t surprise me,” Mina kept going as she handed you half of the stack of the papers to place out.

“How have you even managed to work for him for so long?” you asked and she just shrugged.

You two finished up getting the room ready but unexpectedly your phone rang. Normally, you would be surprised as not many people called you that often, only your parents or Taehyung, but as you had taught Jeongguk how to use your landline phone a few days ago you couldn’t help but smile as you saw the contact name.

“Hi, googie,” you greeted him with a little too sweet voice for Mina not to notice.

“Noona!” you heard on the other side of the line, “I miss you!”

“You just saw me this morning,” you laughed and bit your lip, clenching your thighs together as flashbacks from this morning filled your head. He whined at that, his tone revealing how much he hated when you teased him. “Plus, I told you not to call me until my lunch break.”

“I’m s-sorry, but my reason for calling is important!” he exclaimed, “You forgot your lunchbox at home!”

That had actually happened before but then you would go down to the mall and buy something but now when Jeongguk officially was okay with going outside in public places and you missed him— you had an idea.

“Oh, did I?” you mumbled and scratched the back of your head as a small smile was tugging on the corner of your mouth, “Then maybe you could come here and eat with me and bring my lunch with you?”

“Can I, really?” he asked and you could almost hear how much he was smiling into the phone. You hummed as a reply making him giggle excitingly, “Okay, noona! I’ll be there in about an hour, bye!”

You snorted, amused, as you hung up and put your phone away. Those butterflies in your stomach were back as you shyly brushed a strand of hair behind your ear trying real hard to get into working mode again. But the sound of Mina clearing her throat made you look up.

“Googie?” Mina repeated the sappy nickname, forcing your already flushed cheeks to grow even hotter, “What did he want?”

“He said that he’ll just bring my lunch box here, apparently I forgot it.”

Mina smiled, “You know, you and your boyfriend are really cute.”

“Thanks,” you said in a small voice, and this time you didn't have to feel bad about her words, Because this time it was kinda true.

Jeongguk was thrilled as he neared the building where you worked. He didn’t really have time the last time he was here to admire how wide the etrence was or how clean the big glass windows in the lobby were. But the one thing he remembered and still did; was that damn dog.

The same freaking dog that scared the living out of him the first day he turned human. The dog was sitting outside with a leash attached to a pillar, showing off the brand new spike collar around its neck. But surprisingly, Jeongguk didn’t run away when the wolflike creature sneered and growled at the people walking by. The dog now loudly barking, reminding him of pictures of excruciating pain in his back and blood, so much blood and cold, freezing cold- making him shiver. No, he shook his head, he wasn’t a small bunny anymore but a man.

With his head high, Jeongguk strolled past the aggressive dog and headed for the elevator with your lunch in his bag. He was smiling so big and when someone else also entered the elevator and met his eyes they probably thought he was crazy. Which was true. He was a maniac for you, only having fond memories of you and your beauty.

As the elevator door dinged he walked out, the warmness inside of him only expanded as he laid his eyes on your form. You were typing something on your computer, with that adorable scowl between your brows, as you focused on whatever task you were dealing with and like you were expecting him you looked up and found his gaze on you. Just as he was about to wave, a familiar stone faced man dressed in a suit walked past him making Jeongguk freeze up.

Even though it was just for a few seconds, Jeongguk had seen enough to recognize the guy’s face— he could point out that face in a dark room and still know who that was. Like a shower of cold water hit him, Jeongguk turned around on the spot, lips formed into a straight line as he stared at the back of the man’s head as he headed for the elevator.

Scenes of his worst nightmares flashed before his eyes, it was him as a rabbit— living a peaceful life but that man hurt the only one that gave Jeongguk food and eventually made that kind soul flee, leaving Jeongguk alone with that monster. He was the same man who let his beast to dog use a bunny as a toy and just laugh at it. The man who was now smirking as he talks with someone over the phone, his big nose and small crooked eyes the same as the day Jeongguk last saw him.

His last owner.

On the other side of the room, you had noticed Jeongguk’s obvious distraction and before you could reach him, he started running as the door to the elevators closed . Running toward the staircase and without any hesitation you dropped whatever you were doing and followed him.

“Jeongguk!” you yelled as you bolted down the many steps of the stairs. “Wait! Where you going?!”

But he didn’t answer because his focus was only directed on reaching the ground level where he knew the elevator with the man would stop. So he ran, his longer legs carrying him quicker down than yours as you tried to keep up.

Eventually, after a lot of rushing and sweat, you both reached the lobby— Jeongguk a few meters in front of you as he kept running to catch up with Lee Howon, all the way to the parking lot.

“Jeongguk, wait!” you called with your breath uneven, “What are you—,”

Jeongguk barely turned around, eyes black with termination as he still stared at the man who was not leaning against his expensive car, “That man. Who’s he?”

“Lee Howon-nim? He’s my boss, why—,” you began but he didn’t stay to hear the rest as he began running again. And you couldn’t do anything but watch while he grabbed your boss by the collar and smashed his clenched fist the hardest he could in Lee Howon’s face.

Oh, fuck, how would this end?

― taglist: @serendipity-secrets @beach-bitch-bitch-beach@badbyeyoongi @bookoffracturedescapes @jeonsbbgirl @asanjms@io-is-lame @rapmonster2000000 @minyoongi-infiresme@straypop @mrcleanheichou @yeontanie21 @xanny91 @irissilujm@vanghaeg @1796p @babelleerr @virgokosmos @mercy-thesinner@adelina1299 @babybluebisexual @miraisnotavailable @dabi-da-hottie @somewhereinthestarss @cherrycolaonherlips @multiviens @impradaandurnada @actor-ksj @beyondthewriting @taehyu-ung@taehyungvx @starrynightsandcandlelights @yeethee@ggsmashgg @larenelizabeth @canyounotkaia@wordsturnintostories @yeetaeyong @goldengguky @these-lives-are-ours @sippinpeachtea @shortpeoplemattertoo @rynite@theyoungestschuylersister @heartfeltscribblings @brandi-sykestw@yunyimyg @fantasyjoon @smut-wars @sopseokjin@oxymirror @xsmilebitesx @sylnyexne @bereavedswallow@eltrain80 @sockie-the-dumbass @zerah561 @mini-miez@wherearethepinappless @timestandstillalittle @ccmemoirs@doctorwhoolagin @newtsobrienss @jiminiessipabo@unicorntrooper @purplelady85 @kookiekinz @aduky @sno-leopards @talkfastang @diamondteardropsblog

@peterrogers15 @feel-the-sunset @atwistofme @fivesecondsofsarang @theawesomekungfupanda @princessbabybootie @dru-shadow @hoseokslefteyebrow @sleepyje0n @bella-victoria002 @brandi-sykestw @hytibm @suhappysuho @nyugalaxy @nameisnotok @bryvada @barbikatherine @samariakeeper @skylavsp @bangtanbabyboyz @cecereads @slinekyu @bishuthot @bewitch3dforivar @batrazmanchronicle @annoyinglyhopefulcarrot @abigailbustamante @talkfastang @sugieswaghat39 @grace1852 @pastle-devil-06 @lalachichu @hogwartschoolofheros @fandom-addiction-queen

im so sorry, the taglist is closed! and some usernames don’t get tagged for some reason, sorry about that! ;( (maybe your account is private and that’s why?)

#jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jeongguk smut #jeongguk fluff #jeongguk angst #jeongguk x reader #bunny!jungkook #hybrid!jungkook #jungkook rabbit #babyboy!jungkook #sub!jungkook #sub!jeongguk #BUNNY TROUBLE #smut jungkook #fluff jungkook #angst jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #taehyung angst

928 notes · View notes

greekgrad07 · 4 years

Note

favorite things about your mutuals? its positivity hour, go!

it would be a fucking honor 😭 i tried to get all my mutuals this time but i’m sure i forgot people. i’m sorry if i did pls don’t hate me 🥺

this is in no particular order btw

marisa (@skaterbeth): my fellow short asthmatic <3 i love you bruh 😭 i remember being nervous to message you at first bc i thought you would find me annoying. now look at us 😌 i can message you without fear bc i know you find me annoying 🤍you’re so talented and beautiful and incredible. i love your enthusiasm and you’re so funny. every time i get a notification that you’ve sent me a meme on instagram i get excited (and idk how but there’s one almost every morning when i wake up. i’m not complaining though)

erica (@skateryue): MY TWIN ILY 🤍🤍🤍 i forgot to tell you this but i took a which female atla character are you quiz and i got yue and thought of you <3 you’re so sweet and supportive and deserve all the love! i’m glad our mutual love of the parent trap, our mbti types, and how we’re both jeff goldblum brought us together lol. the vibes are immaculate 😌

adi (@bitcheusjackson): adi you are so smart. THE TAGS I LEAVE FOR YOU ARE WELL DESERVED! you’re such a good writer and your love of musicals is so cute! i also love getting to be an annabeth simp with you (as we all should). you’re also a talented artist! i know you don’t post a lot of your art but when you do i’m always blown away <3<3<3

fátima (@deepestempathllamalawyer): my adopted child 😌 i love you sm 🥺 you’re so sweet- like seriously, i appreciate every self help posted you tag me in and every cute animals post as well. i absolutely love seeing you in my notifications! you’re also the reason i became a malconnor shipper to thank you 😭🤍 (also i still have no idea wtf your url means but at this point i’m too afraid to ask)

ashna (@silenabeth): fun fact, you were the first “big” pjo blog that followed me and i absolutely lost my shit so there’s that <3 you’re such a talented writer and editor bruh i don’t tell you that enough. also, the queen who brought us connabeth i will forever stan 🤩 you’re so funny and one of the most supportive people ever <3<3<3 (also love all of your call out posts about marisa 😌)

sarah (@perseusjackkson): i told you that you were too cool to be following me and i stand by that. you’re so chill and funny, i vibe with you sm. really, your blog is full of so many different fandom and i vibe with almost all of it. you really made your blog for the people <3 i love reading your tags on the things you repost bc they are usually hilarious. also, i couldn’t be more supportive of your engagement to my twin 🤍

regina (@bisexualzia): regina you’re so sweet and genuine and funny and the fact that you associate me with cookies still makes me 🥰 and idk why. your tag has 🔥 by it and i told you it’s bc of ouat. idk if you get that but it’s my favorite show and one of my favorite characters is named regina so <3 also i’m glad there is someone else that can agree suki is superior 😌

zitz (@four-names): another reason why i ship malconnor <3 lol you send the most random asks and they always make my day! and your tags are everything btw stop hiding them 😂 you’re not afraid to speak your mind and you’re a very genuine person :)

drew (@cubanpercyj): you are so caring and passionate! i love your replies and tags to my posts and i’m glad we agree that percy can’t swim lol. you’re super chill and i vibe with you very much. and i’m sure you’ve heard this a lot but i love your aesthetic. the water header is so pretty <3

kayra (@awkwardteenwriter): you are so sweet! and YES ofc you have a tag bruh. i remember when i first tagged you in a post and you said that it made you happy aljdkhagf i tag you in like everything now i’m sure it gets annoying. you’re one of the most caring people ever though! one of our first interactions was you sending me a virtual hug during a hard time for me and i’ll always be thankful for that 🥺🤍

jaina (@jainadurron): you are so nice. every interaction we’ve had has been nothing but absolutely lovely and i’m glad that you joined the pjo fandom! you like almost all of my posts and i love seeing you in my notifications. also! i forgot to tell you your new avatar is so cute 🥺

haania (@padfootno): i love you and i’m sorry the fic isn’t out yet pls don’t hate me 😭 you’re literally the sweetest and most helpful person ever! i’m so thankful for your help on writing hijabi silena and ever since you’ve been so nice! i also love when you tag me in posts :)

@perca-beths: you give me such good vibes idek how to describe it. also, you’re insanely talented! i found your fic on a03 and when i realized it was you who wrote it i was blown away. anyways you’re awesome and i can’t wait for your next update :)

@percabethica: again, YES you have a tag 😂 you’re so nice! i remember i asked to be on your taglist for your fic and you were so kind. speaking of your fic, i loved it i loved it i loved it! you’re incredibly talented. i always end up seeing your reblogs from me on my dash before seeing it in my notifications and there’s always a second after i notice it where i’m like “omg that’s me. i posted/reblogged something she liked.” also your aesthetic is so pretty, i love it

gray (@bbyannabeth): idk why you’re following me. what do i have to offer? when i tell you i binged your masterlist after you posted it i’m not kidding. you’re so talented and seem so chill. also i just saw that you posted a new fic and bruh, i’m about to create a reblog that has so many tags

@ohmydamgods: i’m not above admitting that i’ve stalked your instagram. your posts are so fucking funny and so are you! i also see people posting your textposts on instagram and i’m always like “*gasp* does she know?” and then i see you’ve commented and it’s all good 😂 also you’re so nice :)

@mydramaticflare: YOU ARE SO TALENTED! when you comment on my fic there’s no time to unpack all of that i lost my shit bc your fic Quiet Moments inspired me to write a percabeth sleepover fic in the first place. also you seem so sweet and you show up in my notifications a lot :)

brin (@skatersuki): first of all, suki supremacy <3, secondly, you’re so smart like wtf. every time you go off about photokinesis and all that i’m like 😐😣😐 also every time i see the book circe by madeline miller i think of you bc you’re the first person who i have seen recommend it

teriza (@wasithard): we haven’t really interacted but we have a lot of the same mutuals so i know you’re cool. lol fr though you do seem very nice and fun and chaotic in the very best way, plus you’re blog is awesome

kayla (@eggplant-avenger): hi kayla :) we met through the connabeth agenda and you are super chill. also i hope that you know whenever i read your tag i hear chris mccarrell’s voice singing ‘being a half-blood, it’s scary, it mostly gets you killed in very nasty ways’

charlotte (@sonofsallyjackson): you are the most supportive person ever. every time i read one of your comments on my fics, my heart swells. you’re too kind for this world <3

taylor (@saltyypercy): another one of my connabeth friends 🤩 speaking of connabeth, your memes are everything! you’re hilarious and your content is awesome

@getwokescullyy: you are such a talented writer!! and you’re so nice and supportive! :) we also have a lot of the same hc’s for post canon percabeth 😌 super excited for your next update btw!

olivia (@thegraystreaks): you are so talented idk why you’re following me. it had to of been a mistake. if, so pls don’t leave 🥺 you’re such a supportive person and seeing you and liz interact is so funny. fr i love your writing sm and i’m obsessed with your url 🤩

aya (@percasbeths): again, WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME? seriously i have some of the most talented writers following me and idk why but i’m not complaining. all of your au’s are beautiful and i’m always blown away <3

@judoflipped: you introduced me to Apartment 305 so i’m pretty sure i owe you a kidney or something now lol. fr though you were so nice to me during our first interaction <3 you’re so sweet and you seem super chill

emma (@jasongrape): first a foremost, a superior url. you’re posts are hilarious, especially the ones of you and ash going back and forth lol.

@clr-stan: we haven’t interacted much but your posts are so good!! and you seem super sweet :) also, you’re right. if the pjo movies weren’t based on the books i would have been invested

@writinglettersaddressedtothefire: i’m pretty sure you’re also a mutual of fátima’s which makes you awesome. plus your writing is so good! also i see that you’re having a great time with taylor’s new album coming out so i’m glad you seem to be doing good 😂

lexi (@multifandom-420): one of the other three malconnor shippers on this cite 😭 you seem so sweet and your posts are top tier

@esistkeinponyhof: you are literally always in my notifications and it’s so fun lol. we’ve never really interacted but i’m glad that you like my blog :) also you’re a fellow directioner which is amazing 😌

@himbolin420: how does it feel to have a canon url? apart of the bolin defense squad and connabeth nation? we have no choice but to stan <3 i remember you kept a count for all of your mutuals when i first followed you and i thought that was absolutely precious lol

@twilight-hours: you’re in my notifications a lot and i'm not complaining. lol you always reblog the funniest stuff and i love seeing it on my dash. i know we haven't really interacted but i know we would vibe

#so anyway #i love all of you and i’m glad you’re here <3 #anon thank you for suggesting this <3 #it’s always positively hours on this blog 😤#anon ask #mutuals tag

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blueathens · 3 years

Note

hi bby g,

let me tell you, these haters are really just ignorant, bad blooded people who have nothing better do with their lives other than trying to bring other people down. they thrive of it, they think it makes them look “cool” but really it’s just damn embarrassing. it’s just background noise my love, keep focusing on what’s important. when someone tries to say something negative to you, just think of it being background noise and slowly move on with your day.

ignore them my angel, they are just saying those things because they’re so jealous of you. they don’t deserve your time or your energy, focus on anything else that makes you happy. you are one of the sweetest, kind-hearted, funniest (like fr omg, i wish i was as funny as you) i’ve ever met. you’re everything my love. you are one of a kind. i love you, stay strong and keep being the absolute best <3

its just shit cause i wanna know what i did to piss them off and such, like why fucking spread hate? just be an adult and talk to the person who you have a problem with and sort the issue out

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jtrbluv · 4 years

Text

“F 2020!” - TXT

it’s 3:30am and i’m 2 lazy to make a header so here’s yoongi, i promise i have nicer handwriting

wow, i literally have no idea where to start. it’s almost my three year anniversary of being on this hellsite, but i think i can definitely say that 2020 has probably been one of my favorite years by far, and i am really grateful for it. i think 2020 was a year i was able to improve a lot in my writing despite not producing and releasing a lot of content. quarantine finally allowed me to actually sit down and focus on writing more than i ever have before, and shit, it felt good! it finally felt like i was able to write for myself and not just to please others, and it felt so rewarding rawr (•̀ᴗ•́)و

to all my followers, thank you all so so much. each and every single one of you are a huge reason as to why i’m still here and continue to write. all the likes, reblogs, comments, asks, and more mean the absolute world to me and other writers as well. i think as content creators we can all say that we all go back and scroll through all your messages. thank you for continuing to support me and hopefully i can manage to gift more fics to you this year! luv u all so much <33

to all my mutuals, whether we’ve talked once, twice, never, or a lot, thank you so much for letting me into your world! i really appreciate and luv each and every one of you and always enjoy seeing you all around my dash, we love 2 see it!! i wish you all the best and pls never hesitate to talk to me, i’ll always be here through but especially to support you and hype you all up!! >:) <33

i was going to tag people, but i don’t wanna risk missing anyone T-T. hopefully, you all know who you are :)) just know i luv u fr

lastly, here are some sappy ass luv letters to some of you in particular, sry in advance 🥶🥶

@koushiningg - yeah, of course your ass is going first. hey jae bae, bestie 4L, partner-in-crime, the one person who’s read every, and i mean EVERY single one of my fics. it irks me how much you’re always able to write out your feelings towards the people you care about, bc i SUCK at it! so yes, thank you so much for just being you, i’ll write u a sappy long letter for ur grad email but for now, thank u so much for putting up with my dumbass, listening to me ramble abt the ideas i get at the asscrack of dawn, reading my fics, supporting me in everything that i do. i love u sm fr. here is to the year that we’ve been waiting for, 2021. let’s make it our year.

@taehyungieskith - mika bae........ to think that you were still a local this year is so silly to think abt, i still remember us in the 400s and me giving u song recs in the band room GAHAHDHAJ. i love the little book club type shit we be doing, i always love ur recs duh wtf. thank u twin for always hyping up my stuff and thank god u arent on wattpad anymore mhm love u twin jumi #2 fr

@viopera - VIO!!! we’ve met recently but it feels like i’ve known u for awhile now. literally i’m so happy cuz i remember telling u to write fics and u were straight up like “no.” and now here we are RAWR! u should know this by now and u probably do but i will always be ur #1 supporter and eternal beta-reader. i hope you’re feeling better and ily my fav corpse stan and bad bitch!!!!

@bangtans-peaceful-piegon - AHH PIDGE!!! if i can remember correctly, you were one of the first people i actually talked to on the fic hub server and wow you are just the cutest and literal sweetest thing. we clicked so easily and the vibes u give off are just absolutely impeccable. i love u and i’m always here for u !!! <33

@sugacouture - AYO MEI!!! istg we literally just started talking frfr like a couple days ago but it’s like i’ve known u for years, like wtf. we literally have the same humor and vibes and it’s been rly swag talking to u. i am also more than happy to be ur eternal beta-reader and header helper if that wasn’t already clear duh <3 yeah you are so cute and you write so well that it’s unfair. mhm. unfair. *inserts that one taekook photo* love u, i’ll kidnap u and we’ll get boba and pho <3

@dreamystuffers - RACH!!!!!! rach you truly mesmerize me bc you are so freaking multi-talented, it leaves me in awe. i’m so happy you’ve continued to do what you do luv!! i will always be here and supporting u thru whatever u do!!! luv u sm!! <33

@tatastaetae - marria bby! hi!! ik we don’t talk that much but when we do you’re always such a joy to talk to! the range in ur fics is insane and i always love 2 see it! love u sm and i’m always here for u luv (i swear i’ll be more active on servers wjdjsjjds)

@pjmsdior - bella!!! we haven’t talked for that long either but i always love meeting fil moots!!! you are the sweetest thing and just know that i’ll always be here for u if u need anyone to talk to!!! if i was rich, i’d buy us both new phones in a heartbeat bc our phone literally hate us and for WHAT. kk luv u bella mwah <3

@suhdays - MO! oh my i rly do mean it when i say that u have got to be one of the sweetest and most genuine ppl i’ve met so far this year on this hellsite. ty for making me feel so welcome on the discord servers and networks despite me not being super active on there. when i do get money, i do wish to buy from your etsy shop T-T ,, you are literally the best and deserve the world mo, love u !

@jinpanman - mai! hiii!!! i know we don’t talk much but i’d just like to thank u for the sheer kindness and sweetness you’ve always treated me with! on the occasions that we do talk, you are such a sweetheart omg. ur fics are absolutely to die for and ilysm bby <3

@softguks - AHHDHJE LAUR! when i save u best 4 last <3. we’ve honestly barely interacted at all but you are the most sweetest thing ever, you make my heart full!!! i hope we’re able to interact more in the future and that u come back soon!

- ur local laur luvbot

my secret admirer, hi! i’m not sure if you’ll see this or not since i obviously can’t tag u, but i rly do appreciate u and all the messages u send 🥺🥺 sometimes i go back to them and read them over bc they’re actually so sweet and this is my first actual anon interaction rawr ;w; like always, i wish u nothing but the best and pls take care ☀️ anon!!! <3

sending luv and good vibes to all of u for the new year, always <3

— love, jumi (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃

#happy new year!

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mafia-chae · 4 years

Text

Sentimental Saturday (Pt. 1)

@hanjisung-bot - You were literally my very very first friend I ever made here and I’m always gonna remember the time I sent an ask to Kai about making friends and you sent me a message from the wrong account and then had to send me a new one kajajahjsk but seriously you’ve always been here for me and we’ve been through plenty of stuff together but we’re still close and that’s because we’re just that cool. I honestly appreciate you so much and I’m sorry I constantly freak out to you about you know who but thank you for putting up with me and I love you and PLEASE START GOING TO BED EARLIER

@5sosxjieun - My goose and my hoe and my bbgorK. I was so scared to make friends with you for the longest mf time because you were really popular and I was intimidated but now I know that you are an entire mf circus and there was nothing to be afraid of so I’m glad we’re friends now hehe. Fr tho even tho most of our conversations are unintellible fucking nonsense and it’s just us keyboard smashing or screaming or making bat noises or discussing what the guys each of us are with smell like, you’re one of my closest friends and I love you to death. I’m glad we got our tattoos because now you’re stuck with me and that’s exactly the way I want it ajgdhskdhj. You’re the one person I can count on not to judge me or make me feel weird bEiNg mYsElF and I love that about you

@shinhaneul-oc - Literally one of my best friends in the entire community. I don’t even remember how we became friends but I’m really glad we did because we’ve helped eachother through pretty much everything. Every time I feel bad about myself you manage to make me feel better and a lot of people come and go, but you’ve always been right by my side. I can always count on you to be my absolute rock and you know you can always count on me and we’re gonna keep getting through things together even if it feels like we can’t sometimes. I can always trust you to offer face masks and/or alcohol if I’m feeling down, and I’m so so lucky to have a best friend like you

@empress-jiaqi - You are my WIFE and my fucking SOULMATE and I will say that until the day that I die. I know you would chokeslam someone for me and I would do the exact same for you if anyone hurts you they’re going to mf knife jail. I think the fact that we’re in complete opposite time zones but still managed to co parent our children and wife eachother up says a lot about how cool we are. but honestly I can always rely on you to be there for me which is something I can’t say about a lot of other people. It’s a good thing both of us have fucked up sleep schedules so we can talk because I would probably die without you :D but fr I love love love you my wife

@demon-nct - This part isn’t just for Tae but it’s also for ADMINNIE. Admin we haven’t talked that much but I really love and care for you and lot and I’m sorry for all the pressure being put on you. You’re a genuinely sweet and amazing person and a fantastic writer and I want you to know I’m always here if you need anything and you can always take care of yourself or take a break without feeling bad. That being said, I genuinely hope you can see all of the good parts of our community, because I want you guys to stick around for a long time. You deserve to see this community when it’s at it’s best again. Tae.. you already know what I’m gonna say probably and I can’t go into too much detail because you’re definitely gonna clown me for this later but... I like the way you make me feel and that’s all I’m gonna say. I’m a simp sO

@sweetandsleepyjamie - My gorgeous and absolutely amazing mom who is genuinely the most iconic and caring woman and role model I have in my life. Gonna try to keep this short despite the fact that I could deadass make a whole post about all the ways you’ve helped me and made my time here so great and maybe I will sometime ajshadhja but you are such a good listener and you’re so caring and kind and have an absolute heart of gold like it genuinely impresses me how caring and genuine of a person you are. You’ve helped me through so much and always encouraged me and helped me be strong when I don’t feel like I can sometimes so thank you

@madmanwoodam - I know you’re an a break for the weekend so you may not see this for a little bit but I can’t make a sentimental post without you in it. My dadddddd who I love so much and who I can always always count on. You always make me feel loved and seen and when you just message me randomly to check up on me or to tell me you love me I just uWU so hard and I know you’re like a madman or whatever but you’re also one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met in my life and you would genuinely do anything to protect me which isn’t something I’m used to. I’m so lucky to have you in my life and be a part of your family and idk what I would even do without you

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evie568 · 3 years

Text

Work in progress

♫ ♪ Spotify playlist : Ella changed the Name — Previously named : Cut ; by eviewivi

Date of creation : December 2017 — 3h6m

Let’s start from the beginning.

— —

· Who am I?

My name is Evie.

It was not my given name. I chose it myself. I always wanted a long name, like “Isabella” or “Elisabeth”, but I was given Eve. So I decided to add another letter to it to make it longer (age 4/5).

Some of my diplomas say “Evie”, and others say “Eve”. My passport says “Eve” whereas my social insurance card says “Evie”.

It’s a bit of a mess.

— —

I was born in 1995, in London and moved to the South of France with my family (age 8).

My parents are both English (although they enjoy saying they’re French since they have duel nationality now). I have 2 older sisters and 1 older brother.

At the age of 8, I remember that I could count up to 30 in French and say “Bonjour”. That was about it. I was put in a French school straight away and it was scary at first.

— —

Learning to speak French came naturally as I was young. The grammar was a little harder, and I still have difficulty with it today.

I actually have difficulty in English too. I often make mistakes.

Being born in one country and moving to another can sometimes be confusing.

“Are you French?” Not really…

“English?” Neither…

“So what are you?” Good question.

You often get asked the same questions.

“Do you think in English or French?”

“Do you dream in English or French?”

“Do you prefer England or France?”

I don’t mind it though, they find it interesting.

— —

· What happed?

This is a difficult question. I’m not too sure as I am still discovering things everyday.

I am not writing this, cured from my mental illness. I am writing this, still going through tough times, trying to get better everyday.

I am writing this as a sort of therapy, to help myself and maybe others.

To understand myself better, for family and friends to understand me better and maybe for people to relate to.

Writing has never been my strong point but whether you are good at it or not, I do find it helps. You get to express yourself freely, like dancing, or painting or creating music… any form of art really.

— —

So back to the question : what happened?

In 2018, I was diagnosed with a mental illness I had never heard of before in my life : Borderline Personality Disorder.

— —

· How did this all start?

After finishing a Sound Engineering course back in 2015 (Montpellier, FR), I went back home to my parents house to look for a job in the music industry.

It was very hard to find a job with no work experience at all. It was a catch 22 situation : I needed a job to gain experience but couldn’t get a job without any prior experience.

I would end up playing The Sims everyday in my one piece pajamas. Drinking Desperados in the evening while dreaming of moving to Sydney.

My parents quickly noticed I was not being very productive, and gave me a speech.

I would often check Facebook and see my best friend at the time, having the time of her life as an Au Pair in London.

I was jealous.

— —

In October 2015, I took a plane to London to become an Au Pair.

I was an Au Pair for about 2 years in London, and it was so much fun.

I made friends with other Au Pairs from all over the world that were so lovely. We would go out to bars, concerts, parks, museums, festivals and so much more.

— —

Then I met Julien.

This part is difficult to write about as it is still very painful and I have forgotten a lot.

My therapist told me it’s hard to remember what hurt you so much. I find that to be true in this situation, but I’ll try my best.

— —

I’ve never had a boyfriend in my life. And I was 22 years old.

My brother created an online profile for me on a website called OKCupid. He told me that it wasn’t just for dating, but you could also make friends.

I met Julien on OKCupid. His username was “JulienB26” (his last name started with a B and he was 26… I know, very creative…). Mine was “BurnTogether” (the name of a music album I was OBSESSED with at the time)

He was not my type at all, but sent me the sweetest, most personal message I had ever received, so I thought “why not?”

We met in a rock bar in Camden Town called The Worlds End, and it was fun. We got on straight away and it was my best first date ever.

Long story short we ended up dating.

After only about a month, I left my Au Pair family and moved in with him in Notting Hill. He met my family and I met his.

My parents adored him! He seemed so perfect. He was cultured, dressed nicely, polite, had a good job, a nice and tidy apartment…

He wasn’t that perfect though.

— —

He smoked a lot of weed, was addicted to online video games and extremely jealous.

I remember one time when I was typing to my friend at the time, he snatched my phone out of my hands to see what I was writing. It was quite aggressive and I did not like it at all.

— —

My Au Pair friend Pri invited me one day to spend time with her and our new Au Pair friend to go out to pubs near London Bridge.

I refused, as Julien didn’t want me to go. He didn’t like Pri.

We (Julien and I) went to the rock bar we first met at instead. It was not fun. We didn’t have much left in common.

I felt the relationship slowly dying and there was a lot about him I did not like anymore. But breaking up with him was not an option.

I got drunk. I often drank. I liked it so much and would drink too much, too often.

The following day I saw about 5 to 10 messages from my friend Pri.

There was a terrorist attack that very same night at London Bridge.

She managed to escape but unfortunately our Au Pair friend, did not.

— —

Pri asked me to spend the day with her, the day we found out that our friend had passed away and, of course, I went.

We drank wine together and cried.

She didn’t want to spend the night alone and asked me if I could stay with her.

I agreed and asked Julien if it was okay with him. But it was not.

It was a problem for him and he refused.

I left.

— —

Julien had been acting strange for a couple of days.

I didn’t really know what to do and didn’t want to be egocentric and assume it was because of me, but I did.

Maybe he was thinking about his father who passed away?

I didn’t know, and he wasn’t telling me anything.

— —

One day, as I came home from babysitting, and had enough. I needed to know what was wrong.

He put down his joint, told his online friends on Discord that he needed to leave and turned around from his computer to face me.

— —

This part is very hard to remember.

He told me I didn’t deserve his love as he couldn’t love me to the fullest.

He wasn’t sure whether or not he wanted to end things and needed some time to think.

Our age difference was a problem for him. He thought we were in two different phases of our life.

— —

I didn’t sleep that night.

I watched Netflix and cried until I saw the sun rise.

The next following days were difficult. It was the same pattern everyday.

I woke up sad, left for work angry, came back confused and went to sleep sad.

I didn’t deserve this.

No one deserves being with someone who isn’t sure they love them and needs time to think.

So I decided to leave.

I took a train to Paris and never came back.

— —

My brother who studied art in Paris, decided to spend a year of his education in Bergen, Norway. So he had an un-used flat in Paris for a year.

I asked my parents if I could stay in the flat while looking for a job in Paris.

They agreed.

— —

I felt fresh, like a new chapter of my life was starting. I didn’t know anyone (besides my brothers friends, Julie and Yolo).

I bought healthy, organic, vegan food and bought a membership to a gym that I would go to everyday for an hour.

Things were looking good. I felt positive.

— —

I quickly found a part-time job as a receptionist for a company involved in cryptocurrency.

It was so much fun.

I loved saying hello to all the staff that walked passed my desk in the morning.

My life was good, and it got even better.

— —

I went to the company’s seminar in a grand chateau outside of Paris.

One evening, we had special places to sit for dinner. It was a way of mixing all different employees from different services to connect.

I was sat at a table with one of the Vice Presidents of the company.

He was very kind and asked me what I do outside of work and what I would like to do in the future.

I had a couple of Desperados and told him that I originally wanted to join a company in the music industry and work my way up, but since working for the company, I had fallen in love with the it and would actually like to work my way up in this company.

This was not a sneaky plan or anything. I’m not that smart.

Fortunately though, the President of the company heard my tipsy conversation and called me over.

He asked me if what I said was true. I was astonished he knew my name!

— —

About two weeks after the seminar, the Vice President of Sales approached me asking if we could have a chat.

He had heard from the President that I wanted to join the company and offered me a position in the Sales department.

I had no experience whatsoever in sales, but accepted with great pleasure.

— —

My personal life on the other hand was not going so well.

I was drinking a lot and started cutting myself with broken glass as a punishment for drinking.

But I didn’t tell anyone or do anything about it as I felt in control of the situation.

I was on OKCupid again but comparing every profile to Julien.

In the spring of whatever year it was (2018 maybe?), I went back to London to see Julien as he had some of my belongings to give back to me.

We talked and walked in Hyde Park for about two hours. I wore his favorite dress.

I told him about my amazing new job and friends I had made. I was subtly bragging about my life. I wanted him to regret letting me go. And he did. He cried so much and felt very regretful. I felt happy even though I was suffering inside.

Towards the end of the walk he told me he was seeing someone new.

I did not expect that. I was shocked.

— —

I remember taking the underground back, and crying like I have never cried before while listening to Taylor Swift.

I felt that something inside of me had changed. Something bad.

— —

After returning back to Paris things got worse. I was drinking more and cutting deeper and more often.

Julien was still texting me at the time and I was not responding as I wanted to cut the cord with him.

He didn’t understand why and I remember telling him that I had never felt this bad in my life. I had never hated myself so much and needed space.

He told me that I needed to seek professional help.

I said goodbye and blocked him.

— —

On the day of Gay Pride 2018 in Paris.

I was drinking alone.

I didn’t eat anything that day and drank a bottle of white wine alone in my flat.

I remember grabbing a glass and smashing it on the floor, collecting the sharpest piece of glass I could find and cutting and cutting and cutting.

My friend Yolo came over and saw the pieces if glass all over the kitchen floor and saw me on the floor crying and bleeding.

She called an Uber and took me to a psychiatric hospital.

I was so desperate for help that I would have gone anywhere she took me.

We had to stop the Uber half way there so I could throw up and then continue on our route.

— —

Once there I remember talking to a professional, crying, about suicidal thoughts I had.

I remember doing a lot of research at the time and discovered a website.

It had all the information I was looking for on it.

I spent a night at the hospital Saint Anne to sober up.

The following day, they let me go.

— —

Even though things were bad, I still felt 100% in control of the situation.

I would self harm and drink almost daily.

I continued doing research about suicide and the sharpest object known to man.

One day I decided to order a pack of scalpels off of Amazon. They arrived quickly.

I was so eager to try them but had to go to work that day. So I just did a small cut on my arm and wow.

I didn’t press hard at all but bled. It was so satisfying at the time.

— —

On my friend Julie’s birthday I remember coming home from work, going to the closest shop to my flat and buying two 50cl cans of Desperados. I could tell the cashier was judging me, but I did not care much.

I put on a stand up comedy show on Netflix and proceeded to drink the beer.

Then I remembered the scalpels in my bedside draw.

I had promised myself not to self-harm anymore before the summer holidays as I would be around my family in t-shirts and shorts.

But I wanted to so badly. So I did.

I said to myself that it would be just one cut on my thigh. But it had to be satisfying enough.

So I cut my thigh.

— —

I forgot that it was a scalpel and in my mind it was just a piece of broken glass.

Big mistake.

I cut too deep.

I remember seeing the white fat through the cut in my thigh.

It didn’t hurt though.

Then the blood started to flow. There was so much.

I tried to close the cut with my hands, but blood got everywhere.

I panicked.

I didn’t want to disturbed Julie on her birthday so I phoned her boyfriend (who was also my work colleague).

He calmed me down and phoned the emergencies who arrived very quickly.

— —

I went to the hospital and had to have ten stitches in my thigh.

They also made me speak to a therapist there who told me I could go home.

So I went home.

— —

I was seeing a psychiatrist for a while (since the Gay Pride event)

That told me after the 10 stitches incident that I was depressed.

I still remember the feeling of her telling me I was depressed. I was shocked and didn’t want to believe her.

I had everything under control!

She suggested I take antidepressants and I accepted. Paroxetine 10mg

— —

I worked for the company for about a year.

It was amazing.

I traveled to Berlin and London. I also attended a “Blockchain Cruise” from Barcelona to Monaco to Ibiza.

I could bring whomever I wanted from the company.

I chose Jacques.

He seemed nice.

— —

On the cruise, there was a party going on and of course, we both attended it. I was a little bit tipsy and kissed a guy on the dance floor.

I remember seeing Jacques really angry and went over to talk to him.

We were talking near the main bar on the boat.

He seemed very drunk.

He tried to kiss me but I pushed him away.

He tried again and I had to push harder.

Someone felt the need to intervene and asked me if I needed help.

I told them that everything was okay and walked Jacques back to the room.

— —

After the trip I wanted to forget that side I saw of Jacques.

So I did.

I wanted to be his friend and he wanted to be mine.

— —

One evening we were having drinks with work colleagues in a whiskey bar.

I asked Jacques, as a friend, if he wanted to spend the night at my flat.

I felt very lonely and was a bit tipsy.

I didn’t want anything to happen between us, but I understand now how he thought differently.

— —

As we were going to bed, he tried again, like on the cruise to kiss me.

I pushed him away but he was stronger.

He then proceeded to take my pajama trousers off.

I pulled them back up. He pulled them back down.

I remember his fingers inside of me. I tried pushing him off of me but he grabbed my wrists.

He then, finally, saw that I was not happy.

So thankfully, he stopped.

I pulled my trousers back up and stayed in a foetus position until I fell asleep.

— —

The next morning we walked to work together.

I didn’t feel right. Something about that night felt wrong.

I phoned Julie and told her what had happened. She was in Greece at the time.

I sent an email to my boss telling him that I didn’t feel well and asking him if I could have the day off.

He accepted and I left with my friend Yolo who met me at work.

— —

We had a lovely day. We went to the cinema, went and got massages, and later on that evening, we were at a café and my friend Julie appeared out of nowhere!

She had taken an early plane back from Greece to come and see me.

I was so happy to see her!

— —

The next week, at the end of the day at work, round 7pm, my boss asked if he could talk to me.

He told me that the President of the company had heard that I slept with a married colleague.

This has never happened and I has shocked and embarrassed.

I told him this information was not true and he believed me.

He told me to tell him if anything ever happens between me and a colleague.

I felt the need to tell him that Jacques took advantage to me. And I did.

My voice was shacking. He was angry.

After our chat, I left and went home.

— —

I don’t remember this part very well but I remember going to see my therapist very drunk with a bottle in my hand to my appointment.

She called the emergencies and they took me to a psychiatric hospital, La Maison Blanche.

— —

It was very strange at first seeing all different kinds of patients, with all different mental illnesses.

(the person is drinking water from a puddle, not praying)

— —

I stayed for about 15 days there and made some friends.

It wasn’t as bad as it first seemed.

— —

My siblings were aware of what was going on with me. But once again, I still felt under control of what was happening.

They didn’t think so, and they were right to think that.

One day I ran away of the hospital and drank cans of beer in the side walk.

That is when my siblings decided to tell my parents what was going on.

After going back inside the hospital, one of the nurses told me that my mother was on her way to see me, she took a 4h train to come.

She had no idea what was going on before. It must have been a terrible shock for her.

I felt so scared and embarrassed for her to see me in this blue outfit they had given me but they refused to give me back my clothes.

— —

It was extremely difficult to balance my work and personal mental health.

I was coming to terms with my depression and accepting that I was, in fact, never in control of anything that was happening to me.

— —

After leaving the hospital, I went back to work.

It was very awkward at first.

The President of the company asked to speak with me about my long absence.

I didn’t want to go into details, so I just mentioned that I was at the hospital without saying why, or what kind of hospital…

Later that same day, someone from human resources also asked to speak to me.

She was asking is everything was okay and I told her what my therapist had told me to say, that I had a really sore throat.

Now looking back at it, I know that she knew exactly where I was. In a psychiatric hospital.

The papers the hospital were giving to my company to cover my absence, had the address on them.

So she knew…

— —

One day, my boss got fired out of the blue. He was such an amazing person and work colleague. He didn’t deserve this.

Later that month, my other Sales colleague, also got fired.

Cryptocurrency was not doing as well as it was before, and the company was slowly dying.

I was next to get fired.

It was the day before my birthday.

I remember my new, less cool boss, asked me to have a word with him and a person from HR.

I honestly thought at the time that I was getting a raise. Lol.

The conversation was very awkward, it lasted about 15 minutes. I don’t remember much of what was said.

They told me to leave straight away and not mention to anyone that I got fired.

I told my friend/colleague on Slack before leaving the building.

He was worried he was next to get fired.

So I sent him a brief message saying “turns out you were right about the Sales team getting fired. I have to leave now. Please don’t tell anyone.”

I left and went home.

— —

As I got home I lay on the sofa staring into oblivion.

I wanted to cry. I said to myself that this is a situation most people would cry.

But it was so hard to shed a tear.

I felt numb.

— —

I phoned my mother and told her what had happened. She was worried I would do something bad.

I invited my friend, Alienor, that I made from the hospital over, and we drank beer and took cocaine.

My father phoned me.

He could hear by my voice that I had drank.

My parents contacted Yolo to come pick me up and take me back to the hospital by Uber.

I felt obliged to go with her, so I went and Alienor left.

I only stayed one night or maybe two. I don’t really remember.

— —

I continued living in Paris for a couple of months, without a job.

I would drink everyday. Cans of Heineken beer.

I would wake up and drink straight away, while watching BoJack Horseman.

Then I would fall asleep around 6pm.

Everyday was the same pattern. Beer and BoJack.

— —

I had stopped self harming, as I had promised myself since the 10 stitches to never start again. But suicide was still a big subject in my mind.

The website I had discovered, has the most common methods of suicide in order of success rate. And hanging myself seemed like an okay technique.

I wanted to test it out without actually killing myself.

I know it sounds weird.

I wanted to try and see if it was doable without actually doing it all the way.

——

I took the cotton belt off from my work trousers. I thought to myself that I wouldn’t need it anymore, as I don’t have a job anymore.

I tied a knot around my clothes hanger in my wardrobe, and tied the other side around my neck.

Then, I very gently bent my legs (as I could touch the floor).

The next thing I remember is waking up with the belt around my neck, in my wardrobe.

Saliva was all over my mouth. Snot was dripping from my nose.

It scared me.

I couldn’t undo the tight knot around my neck so cut it off with a pair of kitchen scissors.

I threw the belt in the bin and laid in my bed in a state of shock.

I phoned a friend at the time, and told him what just happened to me.

He came over and we talked about it.

— —

I liked him, he promised not to tell anyone and let me drink.

Yolo and Julie where more worried and protective. They would judge how much I would drink, and I didn’t really like that.

— —

One day, a colleague/friend of mine was organizing a small party at his house with about 8 people.

Julie, her boyfriend, Yolo and I all went along with other ex-work colleagues.

I got drunk quickly. And when I drank, I would talk too much.

I told a friend/ex-work colleague that I tried to hang myself the other day just to try it out but ended up fainting.

— —

Later that evening, I went home to my flat and fell asleep.

Around 3 in the morning, my door bell rang.

I didn’t know who it was, but opened the door all tired.

It was Julie, Yolo and another friend.

They were really worried about me.

What I had said at that party has gotten out, and everyone knew about it.

They told me I needed to go back to the hospital.

So I did the very next morning.

— —

I went back to The Maison Blanche, and stayed there for 12 nights.

One of the male nurses saw me and asked why I was back, again.

I told him what had happened and he was very nice. He gave me advice and listened to me.

He mentioned that we should go out for drinks once I get out of the hospital. I agreed and gave him my number.

— —

We texted that night, while I was in my hospital bed.

Our text messages were very flirtatious.

The next following days we had sexual relations in my hospital room, and in the storage room.

— —

Once I left La Maison Blanche, I invited Alienor over to drink and take cocaine.

And I told her about my romantic affair I had at the hospital.

She didn’t seem surprised. She told me that another female patient had sexual relations with a nurse there too, and she wondered if it was the same nurse. So did I.

We sent a message to the girl in question and asked her to describe the male nurse she had relations with.

It was him. Paul. And she was 17.

— —

This suddenly felt wrong and I had to tell someone. So I told my mother about Paul and also Jacques.

She was really angry. More so about Paul the nurse than Jacques. But I felt the opposite.

I didn’t feel taken advantage of by Paul. But Jaques really hurt me.

My mother wanted me to report both of them to the police, so I did.

— —

My parents didn’t trust me living alone in such a big city so far away. I needed help.

In May 2019 I want to Rehab for alcohol and cocaine addiction.

I spent one month there. It was much nicer than the hospital. They had a ping-ping table, a chess set and many more activities.

I spent a month in Rehab and it was really nice to be away from alcohol.

Alcohol affected me in bad ways.

I would say so many things I regret. I would hurt myself and make bad decisions.

I drank so much that when I didn’t, I would uncontrollably shake and feel faintish.

Rehab made me want to stop forever.

— —

My mother would visit me often and it was lovely to see her. She was very supportive.

After leaving Rehab, it was time for me to leave Paris forever and move back in with my parents down South of France.

I needed to not be alone. I needed help.

— —

I moved back into my old bedroom with my vinyls and The White Stripes posters. It was comforting.

I was now taking more medication : Paroxetine (20mg) and Abilify (5mg).

And it was making me feel better.

My mother wanted me to see one of the best therapists in France.

So I started seeing a new psychiatrist in Bordeaux, FR (1h away by train) every two weeks.

At first we did not get along.

I wanted him to help me forget about my ex, but he explained that it was not possible to forget the past, you must accept it as part of you, like a scar.

He wanted me start writing about my feelings in a journal. I was not good at it and did not enjoy it. But I did it anyway.

— —

A few months later, I was starting to feel much better and stronger.

My therapist was really helping me, and so was my family.

I decided it was time to find a job near my parents house.

In October 2019, I found a job as an Exhibition Assistant for a company in events.

I was saving up to move to Sydney, Australia. To start a new life far away. To a place I’ve always wanted to go to.

I’ve never been to Australia but didn’t care.

— —

Working for this company was not fun, and a lot of pressure. They wanted to me make a minimum of 200 phone calls a day. And I hated being on the phone.

I told my therapist about my job being very pressurizing and he told me to quite and move to Sydney sooner.

That sounded like a great plan! I was so happy about this decision.

I went home and bought myself a Working Holiday Visa.

— —

My psychiatrist decided it was time to stop my medication as I was doing really well.

So I stopped them gradually.

The withdraw effects were a nightmare.

I was sweating, felt nauseous, had diarrhea, felt extremely emotional…

But that only lasted for about 2 weeks.

I was so happy that I wasn’t taking any medication anymore!

I felt on top of the world.

— —

For New Years Eve, I decided to go see my old friends from when I was doing my Sound Engineering course.

I told them about what had happened to me, and I could see it made them sad. They told me that I was such a happy person before. That I didn’t deserve this.

I told them I was fine now and that it was in the past.

I didn’t drink on NYE and they respected that. But I felt odd. I felt numb for some reason. They loved me so much and expressed it. But I didn’t seem to feel the same way. I used to. But not anymore. I didn’t feel love for anyone and that worried me. I felt like a ghost.

— —

My mother picked me up and could tell that I was different.

I went to work the following day and did not feel well at all.

I could feel it all coming back. I was so scared and ashamed of relapsing. But I knew I was.

I told my boss that I wasn’t feeling well and she let me go home.

I got back home and told my parents : I think I’m depressed again…

— —

I saw my therapist again and every session he would read what I wrote.

This was the last time I wrote in my diary.

He closed my black book and called my mother in.

He told me I needed to go back to a psychiatric hospital.

— —

My parents drove me back home from Bordeaux after that session and we packed a suitcase and went to the nearest psychiatric hospital. La Candelie in Agen.

I remember hearing my therapist on the phone to the hospital telling them I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I had no idea what that was.

— —

I arrived at La Candelie and spent 7 weeks there.

I was not in a good state of mind.

I tried hanging myself multiple times there in the shower but couldn’t let go of all of my weight by bending my legs. I just couldn’t.

I cut myself often and managed to bring in Vodka.

It was a mess.

— —

They put me in the isolation room for one night.

The isolation room was horrific.

They gave me paper pajamas that would rip with the slightest movement.

The door was locked and I had a bucket to pee in.

I was not allowed a pillow or a blanket. It was so cold and my pajamas were ripped everywhere.

The next morning, I saw a psychiatrist from the hospital and told him that I was fine and just being dramatic. I did not want to go back there.

— —

After 7 long weeks I was finally allowed out.

It was a long time.

I was now on even more medication : Paroxetine, Abilify, Tercian, Alprazolam and Mirtazapine.

I felt so numb. Better, but numb.

Australia was not an option anymore. Not for a while anyway.

— —

Once I left the hospital, I was obliged to have a nurse come to my parents house every morning and evening to make sure that I take all my medication properly.

I also had to go a psychological-medical center once a week.

I got tired of explaining what happened when, where and why. It was hard to remember. So I decided to write all the bullet points down on a piece of paper.

— —

· Where am I now?

Today is the 13th of May 2021. I still suffer from my mental illness even though I wish it was all in the past.

I’m currently taking Mirtazapine, Abilify and Alprazolam and only see a nurse once a week to restock on medication.

My therapist appointments have been elongated to once a month.

I haven’t self harmed in about a year.

I do however still have episodes with suicidal thoughts, but they are less severe.

My therapist from Paris once told me that you will have ups and downs, but with time the ups will be less up and the downs less down.

It’s starting to make sense now.

I currently live in a small city called Agen (30m drive from my parents house) with my boyfriend Yann. He’s the best.

We met through an old friend of mine that I reconnected with last year.

I still don’t have many friends where I live, as they are all over the place (Montpellier, London and Paris)

— —

My mother took an online course about Borderline Personality Disorder, which I really appreciate. I feel like maybe she understands a part of me more.

— —

Julie left Paris and moved to Montpellier to become a Yoga instructor. She and her boyfriend are still together, building their new life in the South of France.

— —

Yolo is still in Paris, she recently got a job as a video editor for a cool company. She’s doing great.

— —

Pri is still in London, not as an Au Pair anymore but as a chef by day, and an Art Salon organizer by night. She’s always been very productive and I admire that.

— —

Alienor unfortunately is back in the hospital in Paris, La Maison Blanche, as she tried to commit suicide by jumping off of a bridge above train rails. She lost both of her legs and one arm, but thankfully survived.

— —

The criminal cases concerning Jacques and Paul the nurse, are still going on. It’s been a very long process but I hope it ends soon.

— —

I don’t have any news at all regarding Julien and do not plan on having any.

— —

· Why am I writing this?

Like I wrote at the beginning of this, longer than expected text, about my mental health, I am writing this for me, my family and friends and hopefully others who may relate to it and seek help if they need it.

I often mentioned that I felt under control of the situation, but I was wrong. So maybe someone reading this might make the decision to seek help.

I have no words to describe how thankful I am to the people who helped me.

This is not a suicide note, it’s the opposite. It’s a “life” note.

A note to remind me that some days can be nice and happy, but others can be very, very hard. But you must go on. You must keep on fighting. It might seem like an endless battle but it gets better.

Sometimes that’s hard to see. But I see it now.

#borderline life #borderline personality traits #bpd #borderline personality disorder #mental health #mental illness #addiction #love #love story

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chatwithchuu · 4 years

Text

💕National GF Day💕

🤖 So I’m gonna start this appreciation post for my beautiful android waifu @androidryujin. Wow, we go way back. Before you even created this account and all the other accounts, during the time we first met back in that groupchat. If there’s one thing I’m thankful for when it comes to that gc, it was meeting you. I’ll be honest, you lowkey intimidated me because we didn’t talk much and you were a much bigger chatbot acc than me (tho to be fair, I was intimidated by a lot of the people in that gc 🤧🤧), but I couldn’t have been more wrong to be intimidated by you. You’re literally the sweetest, most kind and caring person I’ve ever met. You’re always so supportive of others and have our backs. Literally every moment spent with you is so fun and laid-back, and I couldn’t be happier to have you in my life. Thank you for the good times and the good memories, and I’d love to make many more ☺️ My dm’s are always open for you, so please never feel like you have to hold your emotions in (no matter how big or how small), bc I care about you dude and your feelings and opinions matter to me. I love you so much my android waifu. Also no matter which acc you’re on, you’ll always be my boop buddy, so.. y!boop @you 🥺

🧬 My cute science babieeee @urjooie 🥺🥺 You were my very first child, and an og in this gigantic, chaotic family that I love oh-so dearly 🤧. You’re such a funny and sweet person, and I’m so honored to be your mother 🥺. I still remember our chaotic beginnings when you’d try to flirt with me, and you even kabedonned me one day. When we still lived in that dingy apartment, until I murdered the landlord and we got lucky off his lottery card 🤪. Those times are dear to me, and I’m so glad you were a part of them. My dm’s are always open for you, and I love you so much, my precious child 🥺💕✨

💗 My dearest @blackwidowjennie, one of my og children. We’ve been together for quite a while now, through when I first killed the landlord, to hwall 👁👄👁, to screaming SA CLASSROOM MAY BATAS, to domming Kendall 🤤 on roblox. Thank you for all the laughs, late-night roblox sessions, and good times. I love you so much, my cute, chaotic little spider babie, and I care about you lots. My dm’s are always open for you, love. Mahal kita my precious daughter 🥺💕✨

🧀 My aninomate, kim chiu lover, and fellow cheese escucero fanatic 🤩. Words cannot express how much I appreciate and love you, @your-roseanne. You’re such a sweet and funny person and when I’m with you, I’m always laughing and smiling. Thank you for all the roblox sessions, domming random girls on roblox, and just in general making my life so much brighter. Mahal kita, aninomate 🥺💕✨

✨ My bling bling tía @phoenix-chae 🥺🥺 From the time that I’ve known you, you’ve always been so sweet, loving, and supportive of others. You care about each and every one of us in the family, and you’re truly the best tía I could have ever asked for 😭💕. Your loving nature is seen in all the things you do, such as how you always have our backs, always try your best to cheer us up, and that beautiful letter you wrote for our flamingo familia all that time ago. You’re so precious to me and I’ll be here for you always, supporting you and letting you know you’re loved. Te amo muchísimo tía 🥺💕✨

🐸 Yooo, our tadpole and cutest evil maknae @yeojinsheight 🤧🤧. Honestly, it was really funny how we met. Immediately we went at it with each other, joking around and picking fun at one another. I laughed a lot because normally I’m not like that with people when I first meet them, but it was refreshing and it made me feel comfortable when I was with you! Like we were already friends even though we had just met ☺️. I love you lots my duck buddy and tadpole, and don’t tell the other maknaes this, but you’re my fav maknae 👀🤫

👑 @yourchungha may I just say... bucket hat and voice queen PERIODT. 😌 You are genuinely such a funny and sweet person, you’re always there to cheer me up when I’m down and I appreciate you lots 🥺. I cannot even begin to describe how ecstatic I was when I heard the song you wrote me— I honestly squealed bc it was so cute and omggg I love you so much 😔🥺💕. Also I still remember back when you had the Oli acc— fr that made me laugh so much and I was 🤏🏻 close to getting fucked by you, tho idk if it was Lisa’s admin in control at that time or yours. Regardless, it was funny asf 🤧🤧

🥀 @mafia-lili you are the sweetest, most precious angel. Not to mention gorgeous, talented, and a wonderful personality. You’re so loving and caring toward those that are dear to you, and to many, you’re a reliable person that people can turn to for happiness and security. I love you, and hope you know you’re precious and so appreciated 🥺💕✨

💌 My dearest sister, other half, and my Jekyll @yourcupidchuu. You are one of the sweetest, caring, and cutest people I have ever met. You always love on others, support them, and help them cheer up when they’re feeling down. Those messages you sent during our early days in the flamingo fam, the cupid letters, were so sweet and precious. I love you lots and want you to know that within our family, you are so loved and appreciated. And I swear, if anyone tries to hurt you, I will pull up with my love and affection so fast it’ll give you whiplash 😤🥺💕

🌙 To my beautiful sister @hunter-chaeyoung. You are such a caring and wonderful person. You’ve been around since the start of this wild family, and you’ve always been so cute, loving, and caring towards its members. If you ever need someone to vent or talk to, my dm’s are always open. I love and appreciate you lots sis 🥺💕✨

Anyway, I love you beautiful women so much and my dm’s are always open for y’all ☺️. Also plEASE dumblr has not saved my draft so many times and it’s 3am and I swear to fucking god I’mma bout to raid their headquarters if this bullshit keeps happening

#my waifus #flamingo fam

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prismaticquartz · 5 years

Text

So, new decade huh!

TIME TO GIVE SOME SHOUTOUTS TOO AAAAALL MY BITCHES THIS YEAAR YEEEEAA BABY!!!

(they’re under the cut since theres a lotta folks-)

@sol4r-eclips3

YES HELLO khkjlfshakljhLKJ- ok but fr suns I love you so goddamn much!!! When I first met you I really wanted to get to know you and be friends. You were and still are the funniest and rowdiest fuckin person I’ve met in a loong time!! And yet you’re so understanding and patient and honestly, there aren’t many people in the world like you, which makes me so happy that I found you. Tough, fiery, strong, funny and caring I love you more than words can describe!

@nebulanudibranch

MY GOD you are such a sweetheart nebs you really are. Smart, sweet and so wonderful in so many ways. We have so much in common and that makes me feel a lot less alone in the world. When you joined the shit squad I never really knew what to make of you (PFFT I thought you were 17 for some reason and thought you were a compleTELY different person from quirky watercolors JHLKJDF), but meeting you again in shmeeps and in hell and other personal servers I really wanted to make a good impression!! And I really wanted to become closer! AND HOOLY SHIT DID THOSE DESIRES BECOME A REALITY AND I AM SO HAPPY THEY DID HDSFGKAJ!!!! I love you man I do!!! you make me so happy you sweetie!!! I hope for the best of things for you in the future!!

@jackie-from-the-seafloor

*GRABS YOU* JHKJH ok but we have such a long history together nauti and I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. You’re such a vibrant and funny personality, you radiate such a vibrant and colorful prescience wherever you are and it lifts the mood of any conversation!! your art and stories are a majesty to behold and a testament to your colorful personality!! You’ve always been honest and dependable and there for me whenever I need you most.. and I can’t thank you enough for that. I love you my gay fish fillet!!!

@glitch-betch

dani devitoooooo you are a fantastic person to hang out with!!! Your stories and art have been getting better and better and better every time I lay my eyes on em!! You were there for me at a period of uncertainty.. I cut ties with my old friends and was unsure about the future.. but you, tony and simon helped me so much more than all 3 of you could ever even know. You’re funny and smart and just- a treasure to hang out with!!! I hope I can bring you the amount of joy that you brought me chick.. I love you!!!

@jsab-fujii

hello :thot: you’d better not be surprised to see yourself here JHKLJF BUT ANYWAYS YEAH DUDE YOU’RE SICK AS FUCK!! You’ve always got my back and I promise I’ll always have yours!! You bring such a calming atmosphere everywhere you are and are a trustworthy and intelligent friend!! I can also confide in you to talk to about anything and you’ll listen and understand!! Thats something I really value!! You’re so chill and hjdhkajhdkj!!! you’re fuckin epic bro gosh bless,,,

@mother-of-thots-returns

EHE hi- I know we haven’t spoken all that much until recently, but honestly bro, you are a gem!!! An actual gem!! Your writing is superb, you’re one of the sweetest people on the face of the planet earth, you’re talented, charming, *COUGH* gorgeous, and you bring such a warm prescience and are overall just fantastic to talk to!!! From the moment we started chattin, I’ve been wanting to know more and more about you and become closer!! And I hope that we can in the new decade!! Love you mot, gosh bless,,

@hexaforce678

YEAH YOU’RE ON HERE TOO LITTLE HEXAGON COME HERE- Since we met in shmeeps I’ve been interested in gettin to know you bro!! And I’m SO HAPPY I COULD YO!!! You’re a rabid feral knucklehead and I couldn’t be happier to have you around!!! And honestly bro, I’m super proud of your work with Out Of This World. I’m not much into jsab anymore, but you’ve done something not alot of people have done yet, took an idea, made a story and made it real!! Alot of peoples passion projects have been worked on for years and only some have really been released, but you? You’re crushin the game!!!! And thats a rare, sight!! And I’m so proud of you!!!! I hope for more attention to OOTW in the coming years bro!! (if ya start sellin merch tho you gotta give me 20% off cuz we’re friends :thot:

@natto-axolotl

HAHAAAH YOOOOU!!!! Before we added you to the group chat all we could talk about was how much of a delight you are!!! You’re talented, kind, funny and creative and we HAD to throw you in there!!! I know we’ve not known each other for long but I can tell that we’re only gonna become even better pals into the future!!!! Whenever you pop in everyone is always so happy to see you!! And why wouldn’t we be?? You’re amazing!!! And I hope that life will be even more amazing for you in the next decade!!! godspeed you funky axolotl,, godspeed,,

@myserbale

*SCREAMS AT YOU* I STILL CAN’T GET OVER THE FACT THAT I WAS ABLE TO MEET YOU IN THE FLESH!!!!!! Mys I still have those drawings you made hung up on my door and so long as I HAVE a door they will STAY hanging there,, because getting to know you was a fuckeeen trIP!!! I see this breathtaking artist with an interesting jsab blog on my dash, give them a follow then I get a message from nipp saying they’re freaking out because they know about me too??? DUDE I WAS SCREAMING!!!! And even through some rough ass drama related shit you were always there to have mine and our friends back through it all!! All leading up to that magic day where I could give you a bear hug and wander around the museum with you!! Me and my dad couldn’t stop talking about that experience!! He said it was almost like we’ve known each other since kindergarten!!! I really hope to meet you again.. gosh bless Mys.. you funky man,,

@charmed-wonder

Ahh yes the 8th wonder,,, You’ve done nothing but bring comfort and joy you funky mongoose. You’re super funny (and horrifyingly cryptic at times-) and sUUPER talented!! I’d absolutely adore hearing about your original stories n shit bro!!! And I’d love to be able to get to know you better and talk more!! And I hope we will in the new year!! You’re epic as fuck bro!!!!

@krys-lil-corner

Ah yes, the serotonin woman, right here right oon time. That my friend is my thought process everytime you enter a room!! Seeing how supportive you are of so many people?? Honestly I have no fucking clue how you do it?? Either way, I’m so happy to have been able to talk with you!!! I’ve seen you around for a long time, but actually talking with you was a delight!!! I hope that one day you’ll be given as much support for your original series and other creative projects as you’ve given me and so many others. You really deserve it!!

@4n4kin

YOUNG MAN- It’s been pretty tough, I recognize that, but I’m glad that I was able to get in contact with you!! I’ve actually known about you for some time!! But like with many people, I was nervous,, and really intimidated. But after getting to know you it’s been confirmed in my mind that you are actually a mASSIVE DORK!!! It makes me really happy to get a message checkin in on me every once and awhile!! It always reminds me that you do genuinely care!! I thank you so much for our conversations and I hope that we’ll have many more on the road ahead!! bless you!!

@oddlyoglingowl @suna-bara

HEY MOM!! HEY DAD!! JHKJHSK- No but fr you two are actually such parent friends gosh bless- Hanging out in the server with you \two has been such a great time!! The minecraft shenanigans, the voice chat shenanigans and more have always been such memorable things to me and I thank you both so much!! Rose!! I’ve been so intimidated by you for the longest time and when we spoke my brain just lit on fire djhkjAHK- I was stoked to be friends with such a sweet and awesome creator!!! Playing minecraft with you that day was such a wonderful time!! I hope we can do it again sometime!! And yOU Lecter!! Your voice acting is sooo goood!!!! I’d really like to do something like a comic dub of some kind together!! That’d be fuckin epic!! You are such a lighthearted a goofy guy and I hope for more shenanigans to ensue!!!!

HOOLY FUCK THAT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO TYPE I NEED TO STOP JDFHLKAHFLKJASHFLKJ

There are a lot of people I missed here, but if I were to include everyone I’d be typing for another TWO hours hjfdslkjf- To everyone, friend, foe, or mutual.. thank you all so much for making this year what it’s been. From last November to present day I can say that I’ve been living in a golden age!! I’ve experienced things that I could have never DREAMED of experiencing before. All of this feels like life has rewarded me for pushing past the strife I’ve faced, the ignorance and ineptitude I held, and the knowledge and wisdom I’ve gained. Thank you so much to you all, these past months I will never EVER forget.. And thats a promise. To everyone, even those I don’t talk to as much, thank you for everything you’ve taught me, and for the memories you’ve gifted me. I love you all, each and every one of you.

#GAHAGHGAHGAHG #HAPPY NEW YEAR #WOOO

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