#the tedtalk i would give if i could

[thunderon]

“long hair on guys doesn’t make them less masculine. think keanu reeves, jason momoa, danny trejo, or the guy at your local dive bar who rides a motorcycle”

*the crowd nods*

“so long hair doesn’t necessarily determine masculinity”

*the crowd, more hesitant, still nodding*

“butches can have long hair—“

*GUNSHOT*

[bloodfreak-boyking]

let’s be so fr right now John is definitely not homophobic bc that would imply a level of care about something that isn’t related to finding what killed Mary, which he doesn’t have the mental space for bc he’s on a decades long mission/grief spiral to hunt down what killed her and ruined his life. In this essay I will-

[gifti3]

Lucifer confessing to mc has me wondering if that would make sense with mcs with certain personalities

U could apply the whole "opposites attract" thing sure but...idk!

like for me, i feel sparks would be flying...as in metal scraping against concrete

[rubberbandballqueen]

since i just rb'd a poll abt high school grades now's probably a good time to drop one of my many million-dollar ideas for how to run a high school classroom, which is that i think that at the start of a quarter/semester kids should be asked if they want hw to count towards their grades or not bc i was So Fucking Bad at submitting hw in high school, but my test scores were really good, so i'd rather have not had hw count towards my grades. but obviously there are a good number of kids who are either bad at taking tests or anxious abt their grades dropping and are diligent abt turning in hw, so letting hw count towards their grades would give them some padding in that situation.

[average-cosmopolitan]

Cyno Content bc there’s not enough Sub Cyno on this site

This is literally just my horny ramblings but I do plan to release a genuine Cyno fic soon I promise. ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW PRETTY HE IS ANF DJDBDBDBDHEBSLS—

Flirting with him in public will always end badly because this man could say the dirtiest shit with the straightest face and most dead tone imaginable. This is one battle you are not winning I’m sorry 🙏

On the flip side, dirty talking in private when you can actually feel him and and squeeze his waist and thighs while you do it and MMM I swear he would get so flustered. He would try to hide it but he can’t help the little gasps that escape his lips when you suddenly grip his thighs tight and pull them apart.

As for his.. choice in clothing, I don’t think he’s actually trying to rile you up on purpose… it’s just a nice side effect to having HIS WHOLE FUCKING CHEST EXPOSED SHDBDB. He deals with really hot weather so you can’t blame him, but that does mean you get the right to feel him up when no one’s looking.

Going on a desert expedition with him just to play with his cute lil nipples at night when you’re supposed to be asleep. Him complaining that you’ll both be tired tomorrow because of this. Squirming and complaining but not making any move to stop you.

It would take so long to break him down (kind of like Xiao) but when you finally do it’s so rewarding. Fucking him for hours nonstop until he doesn’t have the mental capacity to make his stupid jokes (because yes he will still make the stupid jokes even as you fuck him silly.)

Getting a “W-Wai—AAGH~~!” Or a “C-can’t- hnngh- I” from him would be just UGHDBRDB

Please. Please blindfold this man. For the love of all that is holy. He’s always working so hard, he needs the chance to relinquish control and let someone take care of him. He's a little nervous about it at first (combat brain, you always want to be able to see) but soon enough he’ll be such a good little pillow princess!

if you don’t though, he’d be so dutiful about whatever you ask him to do. Suck your cock? His mouth is open wide. Eat you out? Of course, he’s ready for you. Beg? On his knees, looking at you through thick lashes, pretty words spilling from his lips. Don’t cum yet? He’ll do his best… but you’re just too good at this, please don’t make him wait too long!

Once you make him a drooling and whining mess, though, have a little mercy on him. He can barely think, let alone listen to what you’re telling him.

In the morning, please pin him to the bed and don’t let him up. He WILL try to leave at the crack ass of dawn, and he WILL try to make you breakfast while his legs are still shaky and giving out.

He’ll learn to let you take care of him eventually, but it’ll take a little while. <3

honorable note: The difference between Aether and Cyno having their midsections exposed is that Cyno had a valid reason. Aether is just a whore who likes showing off his waist. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

[mixterglacia]

WARNING: VIVZIEPOP CRITICAL, STOLITZ CRITICAL CONTENT.

I get fairly mean in this one, you've been warned.

I am so sorry, Viv. You can't convince me to see Stolitz as anything beyond a toxic, doomed to fail, train wreck.

I'm SO down for a good toxic ship.

In fact, I found their pilot dynamic far more interesting than the current writing seems to be depicting.

I refuse to feel bad for a man that caught feelings for a childhood """friend""" so hard he ruined his own life. Blitz owes NOTHING to Stolas. He agreed to fuck him so he could run a business that is barely discussed, even though it was the original point of the show.

Does it suck that Stolas had to deal with an arranged marriage that he never wanted with a mean wife? Yeah.

You know what else sucks?

THAT STELLA HAD TO MARRY A MAN SHE NEVER WANTED, AND HAD TO GIVE BIRTH TO HIS CHILD. ALL WHILE HAVING A FUCKING CREEP OF A BROTHER. ALL WHILE BEING TREATED AS A MONSTER BY THE FANDOM THAT CAN'T UNDERSTAND HYPOCRISY IF IT BIT THEM IN THE FACE.

Like yes, she's a cantankerous bitch. But you can't seriously pretend like she isn't also suffering in this relationship. The only difference is she turns her pain into external anger, where as Stolas has been turned into uwu soft bird who can do no wrong.

Even though he destroyed his family in an extremely public way. Octavia is going to have to live with the impact of her father's decisions for the rest of her life. You can't seriously expect me to feel bad for a man that is the agent of his own destruction.

You also can't tell me that Blitz just needs to get over himself just so he can be with a man who's father BOUGHT HIM FOR HIS SON AS A PRESENT.

To reiterate. If this was meant to be read as a terrible toxic arrangement that just keeps happening? I'm down for that. But this is not, and will never be cute or healthy.

Blitz doesn't owe Stolas anything. He keeps up his end of the bargain. It's purely sexual, and just because Stolas can't accept that doesn't make it Blitz's problem.

Stolas needs to learn how to accept rejection and move the fuck on. He knew he would catch feelings and considering he basically has Blitz on a leash, that doesn't make this any less gross.

The fact that he knows Blitz will leave if he's given the power to go to earth on his own proves it.

Blitz has frankly done very little IF ANYTHING to warrant being subjected to this level of obsession on Stolas' part. He's just trying to make a living.

Frankly, if you wanted us to actually think Blitz was interested, you've totally missed the boat with that one. This should have been worked on ages ago and it makes it feel exceptionally rushed and out of character on Blitz's part.

At this point I'm starting to think Fizz and Ozzie are a fluke of good writing in a sea of godsawful shit. Charlie and Vaggie felt like a literal afterthought in their own show. Husk and Angel are so rushed it felt like watching a relationship at double speed. Are we even supposed to think Pen and Cherry are actually a thing? Because if I was Cherry I would have punched Pen for that shit.

Christ. I don't drink but Viv makes me feel like starting.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

[heavenlyvision]

pls continue, what do you think liu kang and kenshi are🎤‼️‼️

you picked two men i am SO normal over >:) ty ty

Liu Kang (Big Tit God) likes to overstimulate, i think he'd touch any part of your body that's sensitive to him and if it isn't, he will make you sensitive. That man would pull you apart from the very fibre of your being and smile smugly to himself while he does, he'd coo at you like he doesn't understand what's wrong, while full well knowing he's fucked you so dumb you can barely think let alone talk. I see him grabbing at your thighs alot but i think mostly he'd do that just to keep you open wide for him, make the overstimulation so much worse by keeping you completely exposed

Kenshi likes to put his hands all over you, for different reasons though (i think he would be big into overstimming too) he likes committing all of you to memory, he could be gentle about it and sometimes he is,,, but sometimes he's touching you to ruin you,,,, also lowkey highkey gives me big tit man energy, he would cum on your tits just to spread it with his hands and grope you, he'd make your chest all sticky and suck on your nipples after (please ignore me, kenshi does things to me)

:3 thanks for returning to my TEDtalk

[i-am-thedragon]

Sodie Snakification Modifications!

Buckle up because I have a LOT to tell y'all about the making of this one.

From the beginning I knew I wanted the new Sodie snakifications to be based more on the liquid drink itself rather than the straws and can it comes in. I knew that would involve some playing around with new materials, but I had no idea the ordeal I was in for.

Initially I had dedicated a very small unused area of the Sodies' texture maps to a transparent colour that would be used for the 'liquid' parts. I first tested it on a placeholder head part and it worked just fine. But when I went to use it for the limbs, there was no longer any transparency. This confused me.

And so began a several days long search for the solution to this, which involved custom materials, testing different geometry, and even messing with xml and irrlicht files. Unfortunately nothing worked. I knew my textures and materials were not the problem because transparency worked on the head part, but for reasons I couldn't fathom it only worked on the head part. And I knew transparency was possible on limb parts because the Hunnabee parts use it.

Eventually, I got an answer from the Young Horses developer Kevin on the official Young Horses Discord server. Apparently, all I needed to do was copy a line of XML from the Hunnabee definition file to the definition file of my Bugsnax of choice. Honestly I'm not sure how I'd missed that in all my previous efforts. The name of the value I needed was "InventoryHasTransparency", maybe the "inventory" part threw me off? Anyway, I have to give my greatest thanks to Kevin for once again saving my mod (the first instance was right at the beginning)

So I had working transparency on the limbs, but at that point the limbs were just flat-coloured without any bump/normal detail. The space the limbs occupied in the UV layout was far too small to put any meaningful detail in.

The thing with Bugsnak UVs is that the eye UVs take up (in my opinion) a lot more space than they need to. One could optimise the texture space significantly by overlapping identical eyelid, pupil, and eye UV islands. I could do this easily, except the animated models of the bugs themselves us .X (DirectX) files instead of .obj files. I have had zero(0) luck with working with DirectX files in Blender. The importer breaks animations, and every exporting option breaks them further.

However, I had a cheeky solution. You see, DirectX files can be opened in Notepad++ and have semi-comprehensible blocks of text data. This includes texture/UV layout data. So if I could import the Sodie's DirectX file, ignore the broken animations, change the UVs, and re-export it (once again ignoring the broken animations), I could theoretically just copy the modified texture layout data from one to the other.

The only problem was that I was exporting as an obj or fbx file and then using FragMotion to convert it to a DirectX file, and Fragmotion insists on triangulating any tetragonal polygons. This, for some reason, absolutely breaks the result of my attempted data transfer. Thankfully I found an online converter that converts fbx files into non-triangulated DirectX files, and my convoluted UV data transfer plan ended up working perfectly.

With that, I had plenty of space to put a much nicer bubbly liquid texture, and use that for the limbs. Anyway, I'm running short on time today, so thanks for attending my TEDtalk.

[novelizt]

ENDEARMENTS ☁︎ ANTHONY LOCKWOOD

GENRE ➺ fluff, established relationship

WC ➺ 1.4k

SYNOPSIS ➺ lockwood doesn't understand why you bend when he uses terms of endearments on you.

DISCLAIMER ➺ implied non-brit! gender-neutral! reader. + usage of an assortment of pet names (they usually call each other 'bee')

NOTE ➺ to any brits out there—yes, us normies are heavily affected by 'darling' and 'love'. thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

He knew that he shouldn't abuse his power like this but he didn't have much of a choice. You had been ignoring him for the past five hours . . . over serving your morning coffee in the wrong mug.

Lockwood was a brave guy. You, alone, had the ability to make him scared of approaching you. He hoped for the best when he had strut up to you in your reading chair and wrapped his arms around you.

You stiffened in his arms but he persevered, placing his chin on your shoulder. He saw your lips turn taut, ready to frown and shoo him away, until...

"I'm sorry, my darling. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

He wasn't sure whether it was the apology or the overplayed endearment, but you had laxed in his hold. Allowing yourself to lean into his chest and kiss his cheek.

"It's okay, bee. I'm not mad anymore."

He had a hard time believing that, but when you put your book down to give him full body hug? He forgot all about his worries.

—

It wasn't everyday that Lockwood allowed himself a vacation. So, when you won a free trip to Rome, you had to bring him along.

What you didn't expect was for him to be so enthusiastic about living the tourist life. He had even bought a camera for the sole purpose of capturing your moments.

Travi Fountain was something you've been dying to see for ages but a run-in with a scammer had soured your mood. You were cross-armed and pouty-lipped for most of your walk-about.

"Come on, bee, just one picture. You've been telling me about this place for months now," Lockwood reasoned. He took your hand, stubbornly holding on.

"I'm not in the mood, bee," you grumble, shaking your linked hands. He wouldn't let go of you, even if you tried.

"We'll see about that."

"What was that?"

"Nothing," he said sweetly, then raised the camera to his eye; adjusting the focus to capture you, your linked hands, and the opulent fountain. "Smile for me, angel."

The frustration on your face melted, giving way to a timid smile that instantly brightened your face. He wasn't content yet. Lockwood was trying to coax his favorite smile out of you. "My love, I need you to show your pretty teeth, please. Oh— yes, smile just like that. That's exactly what I was looking for."

He mirrored your radiant smile. He couldn't help it. He took a few more shots and basked in your laugh for a few more glowing moments before lowering the camera.

"You got what you wanted now, Mr. Lockwood," you stepped closer, clearly in a higher spirits. You even pressed a chaste kiss on his chin as he viewed the photos.

"That, I did." He grinned, skin golden from the sinking sun. He placed a gratifying kiss on your temple then one on your knuckles. "You're perfect as always, my darling."

He should have taken a photo of you then, all red-cheeked and sun-kissed, but that would have to be a memory just for him. He had no qualms about that.

—

"You should be asleep," he tutted. His voice was low but his tone was reprimanding. Beneath that was a hint of petulance, like a child that didn't get his way.

You worked in the dining room under a lamp you had bought from a yard sale, like you routinely do. Not usually at ungodly hours like this. Judging by his pout, he wasn't pleased.

Lockwood had gone to bed hours ago, expecting you to follow soon after. Now, the hours were closer to the morning and your side of the bed was still cold.

You looked up, giving him a weak smile to try and placate his attitude. He looked so soft with bed-disheveled hair. You could see a sliver of pale skin as he lifted his shirt to scratch his belly. You absolutely melted while he softened at your sunken eyes. Only you could look so cute and sleep-deprived at the same time.

You lifted your notes to show him how much research you'd covered. "I can figure this out. I feel it. Just a bit more."

"Angel, baby," he started towards you. The terms had caught your attention. Your body faced his and your hands fell away from the case files you sprawled all over the place. "you need rest."

"I still have energy," you replied. You tried to resist his charms but you ended up giving in as he held his hands out.

He helped you to your feet, keeping one hand entangled with yours and the other drifting to your waist. With a sleepy smile, he requested: "Dance with me, my heart."

Lockwood claimed he didn't have much of a voice but, that night, he carried a tune like he was made to. The melody of 'Once Upon A Dream' drifts about you as he waltzed you across the kitchen, seducing you into a state of calm.

Your heart soared, you hummed along and you found yourself falling into the abyss that was Anthony Lockwood. As time danced on, you stepped closer and closer; your feet began to slow, and you finally set your head on his shoulder. Slowly but surely, he lulled you to sleep.

When your eyes fluttered shut and your weight shifted, he brought a careful hand under your knees and picked you up. With the litheness of a feather, Lockwood took you to bed and blessed your head with a kiss before he turned out the lights. He wished you a wonderful dream then drifted off himself. Content to be resting with you in close proximity; Your hands curled into his shirt to keep him close while his slipped under yours to feel the warmth of your skin beneath his fingertips.

When the sun broke through the curtains, he made sure to cover you with his frame and uncharacteristically asked George and Lucy to take the morning off so you could catch a few extra hours of sleep.

In his groggy haze, his hands drifted higher beneath your shirt, resting on your upper back to pull you even closer. You tucked your head under his chin, and, in that moment, all was well in the world.

—

It became clear to him how weak you were to his endearments.

You nearly dropped your morning coffee when he called you 'my darling'. You tripped on air when he asked you to pass him a note after he called you 'my love'. Your face did an endearing sort of pout when he called you 'my heart'. But he found that you're weakest when he calls you, "dearest."

Your attention was snapped away from your favorite book. Your eyes swirled with question and also elation—like a child on Christmas day. A smile was on your lips for no apparent reason and he couldn't help but smile back.

"Yes, bee?" you inquired innocently, your rapt attention on him. You looked every bit like a fantasy come to life, and you hadn't even brushed your hair. It's was a blessing that he could capture your heart with a simple term.

"Nothing," he said, smile growing. "You just look beautiful, heart."

He took the space beside you. You leaned into his side like it was second nature. His arm draped over your waist and his chin propped on your shoulder, ready to read along with you.

"Thank you," you replied. After a moment of contemplation, you add, "dearest."

It felt like an arrow was shot through his heart. His vain attempt to back a kiddy giggle was the least of his worries. It striked him then, why smiling seemed to be your first reaction to an endearment. When they came from you, it made his heart do ludicrous things. He was weak for you, and by the looks of it, he was too far gone to turn back.

Not that he would turn back. He'd like you to call him 'dearest' again. Preferably, for the rest of his life.

NOTE ➺ He's been haunting me lately. I've already have another fic in the works—he won't leave my mind!!

Any who, feel free to leave feedback and don't feel shy to reblog!! Bless the world with more thoughts of Anthony Lockwood ✨

⌠ @novelizt 2023 ⌡

[lenaperseveranceoxton]

Listen, I know I said in this post from June 15th that Emily is perfect as a civilian, and I was vindicated when the Invasion story missions dropped and showed that Emily is holed up in some bunker in King's Row with omnics and bigots alike.

but Blizzard, PLEASE, I need more Emily content. I am starving. She deserves to be given a canon voice like Iggy in the Underworld mission. She deserves to have a canon last name. She deserves the world.

It's so infuriating that the Lena and Emily spray even gets censored in Play of the Games and highlights. I mean, I get why (and you can ask the winners of the 2023 Overwatch World Cup if you don't) but damn it!

I am SO sick and tired of seeing people ship Lena with men, whether it be self-ships, generic nude models in Blender, or male playable characters. (If you fall into one of those categories, please let me know so I can block your disgusting ass.)

I need the cishets to know- to have it absolutely drilled into their skulls- that Lena is dating Emily Overwatch. Give me a voice line about her in the Hero Gallery. Give me a weapon charm version of the Lena and Emily spray, or at least a weapon charm of an orange heart that says "Emily" in the center. Give me a victory pose where Lena is bridal-carrying Emily. Anything.

Also, this is going to sound very weird, but the "Caught you staring!" voice line still makes me uncomfortable every time I hear it in game. I get that Lena is a playful person, but did we learn nothing from the Over the Shoulder controversy in 2016? (Even the current Over the Shoulder victory pose makes me uncomfortable. It's one of the few victory poses I don't have favorited in the Hero Gallery. Why would Lena be striking a pose from a WW2 pinup poster?) I remember hearing complaints that it's unfair that Lifeweaver, Baptiste, and Mauga get to flirt with each other while our lesbian characters don't get to flirt with women, but Lena is in a loving relationship. I think she should be able to express an aesthetic attraction towards female characters (like Sombra saying "You're cuter up close" to any gender like the bisexual icon she is when getting a melee kill), but she should not be alluding to her butt whenever you use all three Blinks. The internet is so quick to objectify Overwatch characters, and it's disappointing to see Blizzard fueling those flames.

Rant aside, I also want to point out that Lena tells Emily to let the omnics in the bunker know about Null Sector.

I remember joking in a Discord server with friends who don't go here but know Lena "Tracer" Oxton is my lifeblood about the idea of Lena having paparazzi that write articles such as "The Rumour Come Out: Does Tracer from Overwatch is Gay?" after seeing them casually plan to meet Emily at the pub in London Calling Issue 1. Does everyone in the bunker just know Emily is Lena's girlfriend? Either way, I love to imagine the conversation that would ensue.

"So, omnics, I've gathered you here today to discuss some important matters. As you may or may not know, Tracer from Overwatch is my girlfriend, and uh... A majority of the omnic population in Toronto has been abducted and possibly even had their minds wiped. Overwatch was late, so they couldn't do anything about it. Sure, Null Sector could very well be breaking into this bunker in no time at all, but Overwatch is prepared now! We're going to be okay... I think."

I'll finish this off by saying that, if she can't come to Watchpoint: Gibraltar, Emily should at least be added to the Miscellaneous section of the Intel Database.

Thank you for listening to my TEDTalk.

[queen-freya0]

I wish Nintendo would drop this thing were Link is supposedly a connection between the game and the player, a mere avatar so whoever plays would feel like the hero. It doesn't make sense anymore.

I consider he stopped being some sort of avatar since Majora's Mask, bc that game's story is his. Not Hyrule, not the Zelda's, his. And since then, little by little, we've witness how Nintendo gives him some sort of personality but.... not at all at the same time.

We know our boy is playful, he likes food, he's intrepid, likes to help people and protect them, he's a one-man army, I bet he doesn't even know where the hell he got all that strength and skill from.

But we still barely see him show any emotions. Thankfully we got an explanation for that in botw, but I don't believe for a second he holds this face -_- after the calamity, not in totk specially, and not when in Creating a Champion they confirmed Link became more laid-back after his slumber. SS Link is the most expressive Link ever, I wish they'd kept that. But we don't know what he's thinking at all. How he feels. We can just guess and even the signs are so subtle we have people fighting now whether Zelink live together or not instead of just... Nintendo confirming it....

And don't misunderstand me, I'm okay with him not talking. That's fine. I don't think I want him to talk aloud ever. But what about the Adventure Log?

In Japanese, they made the whole freaking log on his pov, we could see how silly he is, what he thinks of the stuff he finds, how he jokes to himself. And all of this was removed on the localized versions. Why???? Why can't we, as in the rest of the world, get to know the real Link???

I haven't checked totk Japanese log yet, but I wonder if the same happened.

For me it seems Nintendo wants to evolve Link and the game's story in general, like we've been seeing slowly over the course of time, but at the same time is afraid to do so.

And thanks for coming to my TEDTalk y'all lol

[ynbabe]

Lockwood & Co. Incorrect quotes, pt.6

Before Lucy 

Y/n: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks! Anthony: Why would I do that? Y/n: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free!

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

*The Squad is eating dinner* George: Can you pass the salt? Anthony: *throws Y/n across the table*

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

George, after Anthony did something stupid: You should have realised, Anthony, if Y/n didn't kill you, I would have.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: When will Ted himself...finally show up to the talk? Anthony: The final boss. George: You guys know TEDtalks stands for technology, entertainment, and design talks, right? Y/n: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer!

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony, in love: How do you do that? Y/n, after having done something dumb: I'm fearless. George, having introduced the idiots and now regretting it: When we were kids, I saw you run from bees. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad. Y/n: I'm mostly fearless.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: My aesthetic is "would be sentenced to the chair by DEPRAC."

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: Who hurt you? Anthony, always on the edge of a mental breakdown: *snorting* What, do you want a list? Y/n, pulling out ALOT of iron/silver weapons: ...Yes, actually.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?! Y/n: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long line of violence. Anthony: Oh... George, from across the room: *from across the room* I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: It’s not gonna work, I’m not a snitch. George: Fine, let's try something else. Tag a friend you recently committed a crime with. Y/n: Lmao, @Anthony.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony: I hate you. Y/n: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony, after a fight with Y/n: The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was changing her name to Y/n.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n, grave-robbing: I’m going to hell. Anthony, there for a case: Probably. Y/n: I'll pick you up? Anthony: *nodding* Carpool.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony, pissed : Y/n! I thought you were dead! Y/n, back after running away for a year: No, just in deep cover. Anthony, about to lose his mind: ...But it was an open casket. Y/n, little scared now: It was very deep.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: Hold on, I can explain! Anthony: Really? Can you now? Y/n: I can if you give me a minute to think of a convincing lie.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Since Lucy

George, trying to joke: Hey, Joe said he's coming over this afternoon. Y/n, expecting a ‘delivery’: Cool. George: Do you know who Joe is? Y/n: JOE MAMA! Anthony, not even looking up from his phone: Damn, that backfired.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n, just back home: Do you cook? Lucy: I made a cake once. Anthony: Yeah, it was good. Lucy: Really? Anthony: Don’t make me lie twice, Luce.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n, back from sneaking around for state secrets: Anthony! For the love of god, please turn down that music. I have a hangover. Anthony, pissed at her: *blasting the mii theme at full volume* That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony: For most of human history, vehicles had automatic collision avoidance and could even take you home if you were asleep or drunk. But then we got rid of the horse. George: You complete moron. You stupid fucking idiot. "Cars would be better if they could bite and shit" – that was you just now, dumbass. George: "Wouldn't it be cool if cars could piss? Wouldn't it be cool if cars could fuck?" Fuck off. Y/n: It would be cool if cars could fuck. Lucy: We... We still have horses.

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Anthony, to Y/n, since they’re sharing a room,: I'm leaving for the weekend, so I hid 100 dollars in your side of the room for food. Clean your side and you will find it.

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Lucy: It’s funny how well you and George get along. Didn’t they hate you at first? Y/n: George hates everybody at first. It’s their way of reaching out to people.

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Y/n: I just found out from Lucy today that when I ‘died’ and George threw my weapons in the grave, Anthony said, “You should aim one at the coffin to be sure.”

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Y/n: I give up. I am so tired. George: Get the emergency supply! Lucy: *carries Anthony and throws him in front of Y/n* Anthony: *smiles* Y/n: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

[blorbocedes]

inspired by @sionisjaune's tags and THIS nico in glasses art by the incredibly talented @movieboyfriend

Becoming a sports psychologist had been easier than Nico expected. 

All he needed was a bachelor's, which he already had, and a Masters' degree which took 18 months and submitting a paper on eating disorders to achieve. Board certification was annoying, Nico just doesn't have that kind of time, but the workaround was simply calling himself a 'performance enchancing counselor.' A corner office in Monaco, a shiny plaque with his name on it, and a star studded roster of athletes and C-list celebrities he'd hosted parties for during his influencer days for potential clientele, he was all set.

F1 hadn't been the goal but at the same time... who better than Nico, who knew exactly how motorsport could chew you out? His karting dreams were long over, but the smell of gasoline and burnt tyres and the roar of the crowd is still his forte. It just so happened Formula One decided mental health awareness was totally in style now, and one of their main sponsors held an event on mindfulness and how it can be achieved drinking more Heineken. Having a father for a World Champion is helpful, when it means one has lifetime passes, and this had been a prime networking goldmine; not for the drivers themselves and their fragile egos at the implication of psychological help -- but sliding his practice's embossed gold card in the suit jacket of one Toto Wolff.

Lewis saw therapy as something good and necessary, but ultimately for other people. And then Abu Dhabi happened. And then the W-13. And Toto had mentioned what Keke Rosberg's son was up to, how it could possibly help him out of his slump, and hearing that name after so long made Lewis' usual 'thanks but not for me' die at the tip of his tongue.

"I'm not going to imply whether all your issues stem from trying to make your father proud or ask you about your childhood. I would remember. I was there." Nico had smiled over his thin-rimmed circular glasses, with that knowing sparkle during their first unofficial session and Lewis was sold.

"As long as you don't expect me to call you 'doctor,' man. Jeez, who would've thought? Dr. Nico Rosberg."

After that, every week unless he's in LA, Lewis finds himself in Nico's chic Monaco office. It's not stuffy like a therapist's office; a turquoise wall and Nico's dad's helmet is on a shelf display, a German national Team jersey hanging on the wall, there's even a YouTube million subscribers golden plate. Lewis is sprawled on the bean bag, the sunlight from the floor to ceiling windows hitting in beams, and not for the first time Lewis has to reconcile the kid he knew has grown up into the adult in distinguished glasses and same golden blonde hair in front of him. Nico dresses like he's about to give a TedTalk, in his monochrome tee and blazer combo, and that somehow puts Lewis more at ease.

"The car's been so fucking shit. I'm not here to fight for, what, p10? That's not me. And the team..." Lewis rants, and it's so freeing to be able to call the car shit without adding in how they're improving bit by bit and other optimistic platitudes that don't mean shit in terms of the championship.

"And the team's been prioritizing Russell over you, I can see how that can be a source of frustration." Nico finishes.

"What? No. He's not -- the team's not. I'm saying, it's annoying enough the car isn't where we were promised it was gonna be, and now every week I'm getting asked if I want to retire, like what's this all for?" Lewis is momentarily taken aback by Nico's claim. Is that what people think? The team... well, George has adapted to the car easier and has been finishing above him but he hadn't felt any particular favouritism from the team... Although he's been the one running experimental setups and helping the team collect data while his teammate gets dubbed Mr. Saturday. The seed of doubt towards the team makes him frown.

"You don't want to retire. Not until the 8th." Nico points out decisively, getting up from his armchair to walk behind Lewis where his plants are.

"I don't. Even if no one believes me, apparently." Lewis rolls his eyes, hearing as Nico spritzes his plants. He could've sworn they were fake.

Lewis feels a hand on his shoulder, surprising him. "You're just going to have to prove them wrong. Like you always do." Nico smiles down at him with absolute conviction, squeezing it once, and then the weight is gone; Nico moving back to his chair.

The gesture was friendly, but it makes something flare inside Lewis. Something about Nico, maybe the fact he can open up to him the way he can't even with the team; maybe because Nico knew him before seven titles, before he was anyone, makes Lewis instinctively trust him in a way he rarely does with new people. But Nico isn't new, even if the glasses are. Lewis finds himself wanting to know more, wanting to fill the gap between the years.

"Now, let's go over your daily mindfulness affirmations..."

[amaranthineghost]

I NEED TO RANT ABOUT THIS WHOLE WILLIAMS THING!!!

reminder this is MY opinion so you may or may not agree! not everything I want to say is voiced in this 😥😥😥

I understand Williams feels like they have a better chance with Albon rather than Sargeant, seeing as Alex's performance has been better than Logan's, but it doesn't mean that he should give up his race!!!

It's completely unfair to Logan when he performed decently in FP1 and his teammate crashed.

That's not saying Albon isn't a good driver, anyone could've crashed. In fact tons of drivers DNF at last year's grand prix, but the main difference, in my opinion, is Alex has time that Logan doesn't.

Logan's seat isn't guaranteed because his performance hasn't been great, and I totally get Williams not being confident in his performance.

And obviously the team put Albon because he MIGHT be able to get more points, and that makes sense because they want as many points as they could possibly get.

but Alex's seat is confirmed and signed, and Logan has yet to prove himself and less time in the car won't do that.

How can he prove to his team that he deserves to be in formula 1 if he doesn't get to drive?

And this is neither Alex or Logan's fault. The team was underprepared at a track that has had many drivers not finish their race. Spare parts should have been a big thought, especially because both of their drivers did not finish last year!!!

If Logan hadn't given up his seat, I bet so many people would be calling him selfish.

thanks for coming to my TedTalk ☝️🤓

[darthpastry]

Incorrect Quotes of the Kingdom Pt. 2

Link: I'm never donating blood again. The second you walk through the door, it’s just one invasive question after another! ‘Where did you get it?’ 'Why is it in a bucket?’ I mean... do you want it or not?

——————

Revali: Any idiot would know that.

Link: I knew that!

Revali: See?

——————

Revali: Could you be any more annoying?

Link: Definitely.

——————

Purah: Ew, what kind of tea is this?

Link *sipping tea cup with pinky in the air*: I boiled Gatorade.

——————

Link: Ok so, apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

——————

Tulin: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this?

Riju: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

——————

Zelda: What are you two arguing about this time?

Purah: They're always using common phrases incorrectly!

Link: Cry me a table.

——————

Link: Fight me!

Ganondorf: Ha, look at your size! What are you gonna do, kick my ankle?

*Later*

Ghost Sonia: Why is Ganondorf crying?

Ghost Rauru: Link kicked them really hard in the ankle.

——————

Zelda: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avocados get six.

Link *coming back from the store with six cartons of milk*: They had avacados!

——————

Link: Rauru, I screwed up big time.

Rauru: Link, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.

——————

Link:  *About to do something incredibly stupid*

The sages: I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.

——————

Sonia:  I have been tricked, I have been backstabbed, and I have quite possibly been bamboozled.

——————

Purah: According to the footage here, you shook the vending machine and when the shake alarm went off, you punched the glass and broke it.

Link: ... I was hungry.

——————

Sonia: Not gonna lie, I'm kind of afraid of Link...

Rauru: As you should be.

Sonia: No, for real. They're kind of-

Rauru: As. You. Should. Be.

——————

Ganondorf: Life is like Link. It's short.

——————

Link: Don't worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Yunobo: I think you mean cards.

Tulin: He did not.

Link *pulling out knives*: I did not.

——————

Link: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math.

——————

Link:  Like they say, "If you can't beat them, curl up in a ball and protect your organs."

——————

Purah: When will Ted himself...finally show up to the talk?

Tulin: The final boss.

Riju: You guys know TEDtalks stands for technology, entertainment, and design talks, right?

Link: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer!

——————

Link: Yum, thanks!

Ganondorf *puts more tape over Link's mouth*: I said, stop eating it.

——————

Purah: Didn't you die?!

Link: That was weeks ago. Things change.

——————

Purah: Wake me up...

Tulin: Before ya go go

Zelda: When September ends

Link: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

——————

Sidon: What if mayonnaise came in cans?

Link: That would suck because you can't microwave metal.

Riju: Good morning to everyone except these two people.

——————

Ganondorf: I've been expecting you, Link.

Link: How did you do that without turning around?

Ganondorf:  Let's just say the first few people I did that to were not you.

[thatsillysaurus]

Something I don't understand

That's the thing I don't understand: when people go out of their way directly to get angry at people they have never met, and likely never will, just because they are doing something strange or different. Let me give you a quick little scenario- If I was walking through a shop, and they were selling a food I don't like, I would just walk away from it, would I not? I wouldn't give it a second thought. Maybe if someone else came over and picked it up, I might at most think "dude why do you like that stuff, it's gross", but that's it. But something I definitely wouldn't do is turn to that person and start screaming at them. If I was stood in a random isle of Target or some shit, screaming at someone about how "they should kill themself for liking that, I'm going to kill you for liking that, this shop needs to be closed for selling that" I would look absolutely insane, would I not? I would be asked by a member of staff, or anyone with a brain, to leave, would I not? And yet the moment this scenario is turned on someone who is "strange" or "unusual", that view is completely flipped. It's so strange to me to think about the fact that we as a society are so adamant about "letting others be themselves" and "living our lives to the fullest", yet if someone's idea of "being themself" is different to the norm, suddenly they are the monsters for acting out, and not those delivering literal death threats and hatred to those out there just living their lives peacefully. How I live doesn't hurt anyone. You don't have to support me. You don't have to like me. You don't have to pay any attention to me at all. If you don't like what you see, we could both quite easily be contented and happy ignoring each other and going about the rest of our lives in peace. So why do you choose not to? If you don't like me, you could quite simply stay off my blog. Leave. You could even block me if you wanted. You are free to your opinions. But the moment you start using those opinions to hurt people who have done nothing wrong, that's where I draw the line. I'm fine if you don't believe the same things as me. I'm fine if you don't like the things I do. But I'm just enjoying myself without hurting anyone, so if you want to start hurting me, that's on you. And I can't as easily forgive you targeting innocent and peaceful people because they "aren't normal". Threatening minors and bullying people you know nothing about isn't "normal". Grow the fuck up and get over yourself. If they aren't hurting anyone, just let people be happy. Let me be happy. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk I guess :]