#the trend of me putting lyrics of the song continues as it's easier than trying to think of something fun that's not just JANCE ASFGAHJKL | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ddaenghoney · 4 years

Text

chapter twenty; finale.

masterlist link in blog description.

As a successful songwriter, you want nothing more than the acknowledgment that the chart-topping musical pieces are your own creations. But contracts, relationships, and the difficulty of facing the stakes involved head on, keep your mouth shut until pressure builds too much.

Pairing(s): Park Jimin x Y/N, Min Yoongi x Y/N

disclaimer: any characters depicted do not represent the actual personality of the respected idol in real life.

Series warning(s)/genre(s): Chapter-based written fic, Slow-burn relationship(s), Fake-dating, Unrequited love, Songwriter/producer!oc, idol!Jimin, idol/songwriter/producer!Yoongi, friends with benefits, drama, romance, smut, angst, fluff (updated as needed)

Chapter warning(s): none.

Word count: 5558

if you enjoy please, please let me know!

“SoundWave Disclosed” trends within an hour the article releases. Briefly mentioning Jimin cracking the company’s glass by his brash statement in front of the most popular summer festival, the reporter you spoke with made sure to leave no detail forgotten. Like a proper interview, the article is not focused on literary conjecture, but instead the words you said verbatim. Unaltered, remorseless, and eloquently you state the bigger picture of the truth.

“When I think back on it all now, I’m angry at myself. I’m angry that I didn’t give my efforts the value they deserved by giving away my name. I shouldn’t have ever allowed myself to lie, but when I wanted to tell the truth, so many other careers were held over my head to keep me quiet. Either way I went wouldn’t be painless, but at least now people can decide for themselves what they think of me with the facts out in the open.”

You look at the public’s commentary with this reveal. Wanting to face the results head on, regardless of positivity, you scroll through various feeds, peruse videos, let the words find you in the height of spreading smoke. Wandering through the volume of opinions blindly, you believe it easier to find your way about when this article is unabashedly your perspective.

The frustration and petty verbiage thrown in your way clogs your ears, but the ground you step along is smooth like each step will undoubtedly be solid beneath your feet. It’s the apologies of YouTube idol news accounts that speculated on your intentions with Yoongi, the comments giving SoundWave’s manipulative dealings proper attention, and the familiar voices ahead of you calling for you to keep walking that let you feel confident in your strides.

You wear a cap and keep the large plaid shirt lent to you close to your skin while you sit with dangling legs. A bright pink type of flavored lemonade is half full in front of your loosely crossed arms. Namjoon’s voice speaks incoherently in the background behind you as the streaming site playlists blurs the ambiance of his cafe into a state of lulling energy.

“To be honest with you,” Seokjin’s finger scrolls the web page depicted on his phone that’s flat atop the bar. “I wish you took a picture for the article. I would’ve gotten you some kind of designer jacket or something so you could really tell everyone ‘fuck you’-- I’m the best of your friends in that regard, you know?”

“I already have people following my social media because of that article, I’m sure they can just see some pictures of me on my Instagram.”

“Admit I’m the best of your friends-”

“I think the one whose dorm room she crashed in for two years straight in college deserves that title, Jin.” Namjoon grasps his glass of water when he returns to you two. You huff as Seokjin nods his head admittedly in silent agreement. A sudden scowl escapes Namjoon’s lips when his neck arches to get an upside down perspective of the words Seokjin reads on his phone. “Don’t encourage her to look at comments. Lots of idiots out there.”

“A lot of people think I wasn’t the worst of the whole situation though.” You smile at Namjoon, and take a quick sip of your drink when he narrows his eyes at you with an unsatisfied gleam in them. You swallow the beverage and glance to Seokjin who swivels in his seat to look towards the front windows. A tiny nod brings you back to Namjoon and you meekly speak, “But I shouldn’t have been staring at them all for hours yesterday. You’re right.”

“You called me saying you made the worst decision of your life-”

“In her defense, she was four glasses deep in wine when she called you to say that.”

You point a finger to Seokjin’s sentence and nod. “In my defense.”

“All I’m saying,” Namjoon lightly chuckles as he leans against the counter behind him. “Worry less about them. It’s going to be crazy for at least a couple of weeks, so try not to look up all the commentary like you’ve been doing.”

“Yeah, go on dates with your boyfriend instead. Can’t he rent you a boat to cruise around the river on or something?”

“I could rent a boat.” You roll your eyes, shrugging. “Actually, that’s not a bad idea. He’s been pretty stressed between my problems and figuring out all the aspects of starting up the company with Hoseok.” You rest your jaw on your hand, staring absently at your drink with pursed lips as you consider the option of a relaxing evening spent on the river.

“Just take a fishing rod with you for him. He sucks at fishing, but he likes it a lot.” Seokjin says, glancing back at a small group of young adults that chatter amongst themselves as they go to a table. After a moment of assessment he faces back towards you and Namjoon who look at him with narrowed eyes. “I was just making sure they weren’t stalking-”

“How did you become friends with Yoongi in the first place?” You blurt out in bewilderment, while Namjoon nods in agreement with your question. “You were friends with him before I even knew him, but never mentioned how.”

“He happened to be on the same fishing boat with me like a year ago.” Seokjin shrugs, reaching for his fork to continue munching on the half finished slice of cheesecake. “I may have knocked his expensive sunglasses into the ocean.”

Namjoon bursts into laughter as you raise an eyebrow. Seokjin ignores you both to stuff a large bite into his mouth.

“And you somehow befriended him instead of making him hate you like I probably would’ve if that’s how we met?” You ask with a tilt of your head, and Seokjin takes no time to properly swallow his food before speaking to you again with one cheek stuffed,

“Clearly, I have a way with people, Y/N.” You smile and shake your head, accepting the answer as you go back to sipping your drink. While Namjoon presses for more details, you click onto the internet typing in a search for evening rental cruises. Staring at the various options available and filtering them to a short notice, you can’t help smiling softly as the idea of an exuberant date goes through your mind. Such a public endeavor as well, though there would be ample space between the two of you and spectators, you won’t have to worry about any of them seeing the two of you. The simplicity of it feels relaxing on its own.

A startling familiarity enters your ears. Like ballads sung before the ambiance is similar, but lyrics new as you recognize the voice playing from the cafe’s speakers as Jimin. You look up from your phone, looking nowhere in particular, but focus on the words-- the song he wrote on his own from you with a hopeful intent of somehow putting it onto radios somehow. You bite your lip as the bittersweet melody crosses your senses and the gentle request he sings, “I want you to be your light,” brings a tightened and tiny curl to your lips.

“I could change it.” Namjoon speaks up and takes you out of the moment. You shake your head, refraining from any laughter at their worried expressions as they gauge your reaction to the song.

“No, it’s a nice song.” You say softly, meaning your words.

Jimin’s career is entirely up in the air at this point. With the release of this very song as a rebellious act towards SoundWave and him admitting that he hadn’t written any of his other songs, he finished the festival to receive a surprisingly loud applause from the crowds, you heard. Nonetheless, the internet itself isn’t as optimistic as the evening was for Jimin. You’re hopeful despite it all, but you can’t over estimate the ability of SoundWave and Jimin’s simultaneous scandals to beat every odds against them.

Though you avoid dwelling on the worry, knowing ultimately that you’ll find out through the media, and can simply hope.

---

You sit criss crossed on your desk chair, perusing a boat rental agency leisurely and without much interest for what’s before your eyes. Your mind is further away, pondering words in your head in a medley of arrangements. Hoping some combination will strike you into an inspired mood, you simply scroll onwards on the page of various yacht sizes and at this point the action becomes more robotic than conscious.

Your head perks downs the direction of your front door beyond the wall where you sit in your studio. As you glance to the clock at the bottom of your screen, you refrain from gasping at the ten o’clock reading, having not realized how much time went away from you in the monotony of the day after leaving Namjoon’s cafe.

“Angel?” Yoongi’s voice calls out as you hop off from your chair to greet him.

“I’m in my studio!” You say out in return while shimmying your second foot into the pair of slippers and heading for the doorway. You open it fully from its ajar state and exit, but immediately scuff the floor as you halt to a stop so as not to bump into Yoongi. “Oh-”

“Careful-” Yoongi says, reaching for your arm so you don’t hit it against the framing, then chuckles softly. “Guess I interrupted something?”

“Not really,” You say sheepishly and sigh softly. “I just didn’t realize it was already this late.” You admit as you collect his hand within yours to lead him back into the studio space. “I was going to try and mess around with lyrics, but couldn’t think of anything, so I was trying to do something else while I mulled it over, but Joon keeps getting on me about looking at social media too much--” You shrug, turning to him to mumble admittedly, “Which he’s right about, I guess.”

“Guess,” Yoongi repeats with an amused smile as you ignore the teasing tone to sway your hands between you. He hums, glancing beyond your shoulder to the large monitor displayed on your desk. “Thinking about becoming a boat captain?”

“Oh!” You quickly turn from him to click an exit on the internet window, “What boat?”

Yoongi laughs, sliding into your desk chair as you click around to open up a clothing website instead. “I was looking for clothes, actually. An ad must’ve come up for yachts-” You sentence cuts off from a tiny squeal escaping your mouth as Yoongi pulls you back to sit atop his lap.

“That’s a pretty luxurious ad, babe.” When you whine in disagreement, Yoongi simply smiles a small kiss against your cheek. “Okay then. Ad then. I’ll pretend to believe you.”

“Pretend to be surprised if you ever end up on one for an evening too, please.”

“Okay.” Yoongi hugs you while you giggle from the ticklish ministrations he dances along your jaw. “Hey, guess what.”

“You’re going to let me keep this flannel?” You voice murmurs before placing a sweet, chaste kiss to Yoongi’s lips before he has time to react to the silly request. When you pull away, he glances down to the attire of yellow plaid worn on your figure and his head tilts contemplatively.

“Because it looks nice on you, I’ll let you keep it for now.” Your pouting lips used to plead do nothing to stop Yoongi’s warm smile as he kisses you again and says quietly. “Hoseok and I decided on a building.”

“Really?” The tone of your voice rises as your eyes widen with a happy surprise. Yoongi nods with an utterly bright smile adorning his face, accepting the quick peck you place against his expression and continuing on with bubbly interest, “Where at? No-- actually, what’s the name going to be anyways?”

“The building’s actually only a couple of subway stations from Namjoon’s cafe, so I guess you can visit him more often than now.”

“He’ll get sick of me.” You say, shrugging off the tiny shake of Yoongi’s head so you can press on with the subject at hand. “I can’t believe you both found a place so quickly.”

“Well, maybe that’s the easier part. Figuring out everything else will take awhile still, but a couple of investors are interested, and I think I’ve found a person that can do a better job at leading everything overall than Hoseok and I can.”

“So you’re both not going to fight for the CEO title?” You ask, fiddling with the hair on the back of his head as Yoongi just scoffs gently at the teasing inquisition. He shakes his head while his hands situate on your sides to help shift you on his lap as you turn slightly to better see him.

“That’s not something I’m interested in, no. I just want to make music.”

You smile at Yoongi fondly, unintentionally causing a little flush to peek on the tips of his cheeks. Considering the option to be in joint-leadership over the entirety of their company is so obviously available, you find it slightly jarring that Yoongi doesn’t feel any need to reach out for the position. Though you think his answer best suits him, especially when you remember that the manipulation of his image is what stopped him from being the musician that he had wanted to be for so long now.

Squeezing your waist with his hands, Yoongi kisses you softly. A hand of yours falls to his shoulder while the other remains interweaved in his hair to hold him close as the kiss lingers. Breaking away after a minute, Yoongi’s head tilts, appearing curious as he gently inquires, “What are you thinking, baby?”

“I’m just really happy for you.” Your voice trickles simply, though the sincerity causes Yoongi’s lips to tighten into a bashful smile while he just nods and lets his eyes glance downwards from the radiating endearment in your eyes. You take note of more pink decorating his skin, and just hug onto him tightly, mumbling sweetly against Yoongi’s cheek. “You’re so cute. I can’t wait to see whatever you produce next.”

“You should help me with a couple of the songs, angel.” Yoongi murmurs while smiling at your actions, rubbing his hands along your sides as you squeeze onto him. “I really liked working together.”

“We’re a good team, I think.” Yoongi hears the twinge of a bashful hesitancy in your words, making him have for force back an endeared sigh and replace it with a nod as you start to continuously press tiny kisses against his face to further yourself from the embarrassment you feel for the mushy words.

“I think so too-- what is your face so red for?” He laughs outright, not allowing you to hide away your rosy expression by catching your jaw gently with a hand. “You’re flustered for no reason.”

“It just felt like such a cliche thing to say-” You barely manage to mumble the sentence before Yoongi’s cutting your lips off with his own against them. Humming in thought as he pulls away and ignores the small pat of your hand against his chest for teasing you, Yoongi speaks with a smile,

“But it’s the truth, so it’s okay. You can be a Hallmark card all you want, and I’ll still love you-”

“Don’t tease me.” You attempt to sound firm, but nonetheless smile at the soft admission at the end of his sentence. Yoongi bites back any further jokes that you’re sure he’d enjoy to say, instead of giving you the quiet moment to wade off some of the meadow on your skin. “Can’t believe you came here at ten in the evening, by the way. When you’ll just have to leave soon to go home-”

“Who said I was going to leave soon?”

“Who said you’re allowed to stay over?”

Yoongi chuckles, reclining so that his back rests properly against the chair as you try to maintain your defiant expression. It’s utterly useless considering how there’s a playful smile etched into your face, so Yoongi just shrugs. “Tell me to leave then, baby,”

Refraining from laughter you instead bite your bottom lip, and cross your arms while Yoongi’s head tilts to wait for your reply with a coy gleam in his irises. Instead of a verbal reply for the moment, you scoot off of his lap, beginning to walk past him as he spins casually on the chair for his eyes to follow your movements. “If you’re staying, then you’ll have to sleep on the couch since I don’t have a guest bedroom.”

“You’re so,” Yoongi exhales like bits of laughter, shaking his head as he gets off the chair to catch up to you before you’re able to dip around the corner. A small squeal leaves your lips as Yoongi’s arms wrap around your waist to pull you back against his chest. Immediately he lays a buttery trail along your cheek as you laugh at his reaction and place your hands over top of his wear they fiddle with the buttons of his shirt that you wear, “If I’m staying on the couch, then I want this back, sweetie.”

---

In early February a small celebratory party causes Seokjin’s club to close its doors to the public. Though Yoongi told him over and over that the gesture was unnecessary, his worries were ignored by Seokjin who stated that he wanted to help give a nice evening to his friends and recognize the accomplishment of the official opening of Sope Ent. that would occur at the end of the month.

The employee pool was nowhere near the size of SoundWave at its peak the years earlier, but everyone working for Yoongi and Hoseok’s company were hand-picked and a feeling of camaraderie flourished throughout the months beforehand of work to become organized. The building was mostly finished, but a handful of office spaces and studios were still in the process of being completed, leading to you and some others opting to work from home while all the preparation continued on.

Because of your home studio being the location where you did practically all of your work originally, you had little care for the fact that you’d find your way to the building later than the majority of employees. The excitement of working with the artists that signed so far was a far more important focus to you, and in some instances surprising like when you noticed Jinsol’s name appearing on a list of accepted trainees (though Namjoon was more surprised as it meant he would need to find a replacement for her part-time position at his cafe).

Ultimately, you’re enshrouded in anticipation for future months and beyond of working as a recognized songwriter and producer. Yoongi’s unoften worried mentions that he’s apologetic to the fact that you’re in some regards starting from the bottom up are easily squashed by your vibrant energy assuring him that you’re nothing but happy to be able to continue working with the career you had always wanted.

Beyond that, you’re proud of Yoongi and Hoseok’s ability to get everything together in a considerably short stretch of time. Though it meant Hoseok’s plan of releasing music was pushed back so that it could be released under their company’s name, the wait ended up being worth it as it allowed media to cause an interest in what would come.

The weeks immediately following the article you released caused a dramatic shift in SoundWave’s perception in the public. With your name getting dragged early on for participation despite the manipulation, so many people decided to stop supporting the company and artists by association that they went through understandably hard times. Every group and soloist offered apologies, but the currents changed only when Yerin publicly apologized and stepped down from her position as CEO, with the board of directors promising for change.

You realize she was simply a scapegoat because the board did have a larger hand in what went on throughout SoundWave, but you manage to find satisfaction in this method, because the majority of artists came out with their careers still intact. Though trust has to be regained, at least they were able to have the chance.

The name you’re still curious to hear about in the future is Jimin. It was late in the year, only days before Yerin resigned, that news of him leaving SoundWave circulated loudly in every social media site available. More than anything, fans expressed utter sadness, demanding an answer from SoundWave to understand why he left when the majority of the public sided with him after his public apology acted as the first crack in the company’s secret crumbling. Which is why everyone, including you, were nothing but confused to hear that his leave was completely at his own discretion with the company evening expressing that they attempted negotiation to keep him.

“It just felt weird for him to be there.” Jeongguk told you during a small friendly lunch between him, Hoseok, Yoongi, and you. “With all of the history that went on.” You recall him biting back further information on that statement for the sake of the present. “Anyways, I’m sure he’ll be back to music eventually.”

As you look on from the bar stool you sit on, you smile as Yoongi finishes a speech egged on by the crowd of happy employees enjoying the evening. Hoseok cuts in with a cheery tone and his glass raised high in the air, while Yoongi remains beside him for the moment and simply sends you a glance that tells you he’s at minimum shy of all the attention currently on him. All you can offer is two thumbs up to which you watch him bite back a sarcastic smirk.

“Your speech was good.” You assure him with a grin as Yoongi returns to you after the loud cheers mark the end of the melodramatic speeches and the restart of music. He shakes his head at your words and takes the seat beside you,

“Thanks. I don’t know if I believe you, but thank you, angel.” Yoongi says with the usual gentleness of his voice making you so much more fond in that moment, especially as you take in his hand finding yours without hesitation to entwine the fingers. “You really look beautiful.”

“You said that already.” You comment though your heart beat skyrockets from the genuine tone he speaks with. Softly, he smiles and nods his head, finally finding your eyes again,

“And I’m probably going to say it again at least ten more times tonight, sweetie.” Yoongi’s teeth peek with his grin as he fondly watches you avert your gaze to the two of your glasses left on the bartop when he went to go speak. “Look at me, please.”

Inhaling quietly from all of the emotions amplified in your chest from the evening’s joyful ambiance, you eventually cast a glance back to him with enough time to see the sweet light in his eyes before he kisses you softly. Where your hands hold together, your free hand encapsulates the top of his hand to gently squeeze as Yoongi lets the kiss linger on a few seconds longer than you’d expect from him with the surroundings somewhat crowded.

“I know it’s only been a few hours, but can I take you somewhere?” Yoongi asks against your lips, so quietly that you almost miss it with the music that plays all around you. Though it takes you only a couple of seconds to respond, your mind captures a considerable amount of wonder for where exactly he intends to lead you to. Still though, you simply peck his lips once more to earn a smile from him as you nod,

“Yeah, wherever you want.”

Despite what you expected, Hoseok simply only grinned and waved the two of you off when Yoongi mentioned you would both head out. Seokjin similarly smiled as you told him a thank you and goodnight as well, and considering those two of your friends are quite close with Yoongi, you don’t stop yourself from a playful question as he settles his coat around your shoulders upon exit of the nightclub.

“I’m guessing they already know about where you want to take me to?”

“Well, it’s no fun to give any kind of hints, angel, so you’re not getting them from me.” He says, letting you hug onto his arm while using the other to hail a cab. “It’s kind of different leaving Jin’s club this time around, isn’t it?”

“A good different.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi nods as he opens the door to the taxi, smiling down at you before letting you enter inside. “Really good different.”

Outside of Sope Entertainment, you can’t help lifting up your head to take in the view of the small tower that you’d be working in from now on. Yoongi exits the vehicle after giving a tip to the taxi who drives off once the door slams. You turn your attention to Yoongi as he takes hold of your hand once again to lead you inside the sparsely populated building.

A security guard allows the two of you in after the flash of identification cards, and by the time you reach the elevator you’ve begin rubbing Yoongi’s arms to fuel circulation and warmth. Your actions result in a fit of chuckles from his lips as the elevator doors open wide to allow the two of you inside.

“I’m not that cold, angel.” He assures, but does nothing to stop you from hugging onto him as the elevator shuts. Shimmying the two of you a step forward he manages to finally click a floor number as your body clings onto his to give warmth.

“Please, you hate cold weather.” You retort and place a kiss on the underside of his jaw. “Is this where you take me up to the roof and we look dramatically off at the city?”

“No, it’s way too cold for that.” Yoongi quickly admonishes the idea, causing you both to laugh at both the severe way he spoke, but also the implication that he is more cold than he lets on. “But maybe in the summer or at least the spring that would be a fun idea.” He says, watching the floor number climb as he rubs little trails on your back and your cheek settles against his chest. “C’mon, angel; this is the floor.”

You pull away from him to look at the number and know it to be the name one his and Hoseok’s studios are on. You exit out of the elevator with him quickly pressing a switch opposite of the elevator to turn the hallway lights on.

“Oh, is this about the song you’ve been telling me about lately?” You ask with a growing smile that’s excited from the idea. Yoongi huffs and pouts as he turns his head to look down at you,

“I said it’s no fun getting hints, angel.” His high-pitched rumble makes you laugh gently as you squeeze his hand. Coming closer to his studio, you hum and reconfigure a guess of what he wants to show you despite his protests, “Is it that you decorated your studio finally-”

“Hey,” Yoongi calls out as he stops a pace behind you to bring a halt to your stroll. Turning towards him, your eyebrows knit in confusion because his studio is a few more steps down. The confusion builds more as Yoongi just smiles before flicking his head to gesture to the room you both stopped in front of.

Turning to look in the direction, you see a door just the same as all the others and you’re about to question the significance of it before your eyes catch the polished metal plaque with your name engraved on it. In your stupor, you release hold of Yoongi’s hand to turn with widening eyes towards the door. Taking a step, you feel words escape your mind as you can only think about the obvious insinuation of the plaque, and turn your head back to Yoongi as though silently asking him to verify.

With a proud, soft smile he nods his head, stepping beside you to press a series of numbers into the lock on the door. “It took a little while longer than I expected to get it set up, especially without you realizing considering you walk down this hall so many times.” He chuckles only a little before pushing the door open to hold it ajar with his hand. Yoongi returns his gaze back to you as he happily admits, “But this studio’s yours, Y/N.”

After a moment to let his words sink in, you take another step to press your palm against the richly stained wood of the door and push it wider to enter inside. Following behind you, Yoongi presses the switch to turn on the lights that illuminate the rectangular space that you walk further into. A desk is already positioned on the far wall with monitors and equipment all arranged similarly to the way they are at your home studio. Shelves around the room are empty, and the couch against one side is free of pillows or throw blankets. The space is completely fresh to personal touch, but the door alerts anyone who reads it that the room is your own creative area as an acknowledged employee.

Turning back towards Yoongi who’s quiet yet clearly eager from his position beside the closed door, you walk to him and trust him to catch you as you practically jump into a hug that his arms catch you from tightly.

“Thank you so much.” You mumble against the fabric of his shirt, clenching wrinkles into the clothing on his back as well. Yoongi smiles as he rests his chin on your head, rubbing soothingly against your back as a tiny whimper leaves your lips.

“You’re welcome, angel, but this is really something you deserved all along.”

“But,” You pull your face from his chest to look up at Yoongi despite the tears welling in your eyes from gratitude. “Without you, I wouldn’t have gotten here the same way, and I wouldn’t have been able to do everything with someone like you to be beside me through it all. Yoon, you’ve really helped me do so much and everything was so crazy to get here, but I’m glad that it happened how it did, because I really love you. I can’t believe I got to meet you and fall in love with you.”

Cupping Yoongi’s face, you pull him down into a kiss as he moves his hands to better hold you against his chest. Following the kiss, Yoongi can’t help but lean his head against your shoulder, for a moment overcome by emotion due to your admission. You smile, rubbing his back as he squeeze you a bit tighter and exhales.

“You know, angel, if I hadn’t ever met you I’d still be practically a puppet to my old management team.” He kisses your cheek briefly before straightening up to properly look down at you. “I love you so much too. Whether you realize it or not, you really inspired me to finally fight back against them too, sweetie. I really am so proud of you and everything you’ve done.”

Yoongi kisses you gently once more, finding himself completely content as your arms wrap loosely around his neck to hold the two of you in place. When he thinks about it, receiving the recognition you deserved really was the only suitable outcome for everything that you’ve been through. Everything feels correct, even if realistically there are still trials to overcome where the company itself is concerned. At least there’s undeniable optimism in the future.

You hold his hand as you break apart to walk back around the studio space and explore the room. Coming up to the computer you go ahead and turn the power on just to see it and be shown that everything is as real as it seems to you. Yoongi stands behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist to rest his chin against your shoulder. The computer brightly flashes with a screensaver already saved to a picture the two of you took on an evening boat date months earlier. You laugh at the sight of it and turn towards Yoongi whose eyebrows furrowed in confusion,

“This is what I get for letting Hoseok plug everything in for me.” He mumbles as you press a sweet kiss to his cheek. “You should change the passcode from what it is so he can’t come in here whenever to spam your studio with pictures or other pranks.”

“If I change the passcode, maybe I’ll keep it a secret from you too.” You ponder aloud, earning an expected poke in your side to tickle you from Yoongi. As your body jerks from the ticklish feeling, he simply hugs you tighter, pressing a kiss against your cheek in retribution. You eventually sigh as you smile and relax back against his chest, admitting softly, “But honestly, if Hoseok’s going to print out cute pictures like this one, maybe I’ll just keep the code the way it is.”

“Angel, the code is 1111. Please don’t do that.”

if you enjoyed please, please let me know via ask, comment, rb with tags– however ! i’d just really appreciate feedback 🥺 i hope you enjoy the series, i worked really hard on it! And if you’ve read thank you so much! below are some fun facts and final words about the series!

tag list: @jaiuneamesolitaiire @tsvkino-usagi @xionysus @baebyjoonie @honeyoongles @betysotelo18

Fun facts:

Jinsol, Seulgi, and Jihyo the only non-bts named character that are supposed to be their real-life counterparts (from LOONA, Red Velvet, and Twice respectively)

To be honest??? I picked the name Yerin because it sounds so pretty to me

This series is as long as NOVEL! Deadass a fucking NOVELLLLL! like what??? I can’t believe I managed to write roughly 100k words wtf.

Seulgi was initially going to be considerably more important as an antagonist, but then it felt like it was going to be feeding too much into Hoseok’s character than help the actual story progress so I did away with her history with Yoongi (and Hoseok)

The spotify playlist for the series is actual set up into three different parts (four songs, an interlude, four songs, an interlude, four songs) and the purpose of this was to separate the songs into characters. The first four songs are about Jimin’s character growth, the second set of four songs are about Y/N’s, and the third four songs are about Yoongi’s. In some ways, if you looked at the lyrics for the song you may have been able to gauge a lot of the plot that way.

The name for the series, Veil, comes from the idea that something is covered by a cloth that is not completely opaque, but still blurs the perception of what is beneath it.

I don’t remember exactly how I got the premise for this idea, but I knew that I wanted to make a Yoongi story. So that being said, this was always intended to be a Yoongi story, I wasn’t swayed in one way or another to pick the ending couple.

Although, my friend told me recently that after hearing about my plans for Jimin’s character in the last few chapters that she wanted him to end up with Y/N LOL; I think that’s mainly because, in this story’s universe, the song Jimin released at the festival was Promise, and in this story he wrote that song with the intention of supporting Y/N and also telling her that he wants her to be her own power source through all she’s gone through (I want you to be your light, baby, you should be your light)

Because I’m actually really fond of Jimin’s character, I was thinking about making a one-shot prequel about him and Y/N’s relationship long before Yoongi.

The Audi that Yoongi drives costs about $200,000. I needed to tell you that, just like I needed to give him that expensiveass car. Why? It’s h*t.

I couldn’t rationalize Yoongi or Hoseok becoming the CEO of the company they made together, because ultimately they still want to be performers lol. They’re more like founders, and have a lot of say in the board.

Jeongguk, in this story, is a part of a band with Yugyeom, Mingyu, and Minghao. What a combination lol.

Taehyung is a lawyer for idols generally, but he starts to work more for Yoongi and Hoseok’s endeavors by the end.

In my mind, Jimin eventually went on to get signed at the same company Jeongguk and Seulgi work at. He would’ve been pretty successful there.

Also, I doubt that Y/N’s royalties with her songs at SoundWave would’ve been kept by the end of the series. Realistically, she would have to be credited, but she would no longer receive money for them, so she really did have to start over in a way.

Yoongi’s hair was always blonde until that scene where he went to dye it back to his natural hair color; this was a very freeing moment for his character.

In Y/N’s conversations with Yerin and Jimin, Yoongi was consistently just..,.,,,.,. chilling in the background..../., in the case of Jimin conversation he was making pancakes lmao. What a guy.

Again, if you’ve read this whole story thank you SOOOOOO MUCH! You’ve basically read an entire book in reading this fic, and that is unbelievable to me who never would’ve figured I’d have been able to make this entire thing! Thank you again so much for reading! See you in the next story! 🥰❤️

#yoongi #yoongi imagines #yoongi series #yoongi au #yoongi fluff #bts #bts imagines #bts series #bts au #bts fluff #all #series veil

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way-veee · 4 years

Text

yan yu

rating: m

genre: romance, fluff, comedy, wayv being absolute crackheads

word count: 1.5k +

pairing: reader x wayv

pt. 6

“okay, sure, has the osaka part of the report been sent in yet? the editors need it by friday, also can you get me an estimated time for the cover photo and staff member list?”

you roll your eyes as your manage asks you a multitude of questions over the phone due to the change in arrival.

“yes i sent in the report yesterday and the cover photo will be taken on the last day. everything’s fine, don’t worry i got this.”

you hear her huff through your phone.

“okay that’s great. i read part of the preview you sent over last week and it seemed pretty good. keep up work like that and the report will be trending in no time.”

you nod into the phone.

“listen,“ you start, “ i was wondering. what would happen if maybe i covered wayv in a not so unrealistic light. what if i focused more on their struggles and issue with their company-”

“y/n” your manager snaps, definitely upset. “if you do that you’re fired. do you hear me? we don’t need our company getting shit on by sm or their fans because you wanted to have some political coverage to make you feel authentic or whatever. if i see anything like that i’ll fire you right on the spot. i swear to god.”

“okay i’ll take that as no. nice talking to you as always.”

“you too” she responds flatly.

she hangs up a second later and you pocket your phone, ready to go out.

you try to push probably being fired from your job out of your mind and enjoy the day.

wayv was at the studio again today, practicing their choreography and finishing lyrics. you wanted to get more coverage on the process for the report so you decided to go as well.

the boys left earlier in the morning than you, and not wanting to wake up at 6:30 to sit in a cold practice room, you had declined.

you go to the cafeteria and get a latte and bagel for your breakfast. you tuck the bagel in your purse for later and walk out the front exit of the building to get to the bus stop.

it was cold while waiting for the bus so you put on your hat to keep warm. the bus came fifteen minutes later and you gladly boarded, taking one of the only empty spots beside a girl that looked about your age. the bus took off with a jolt and you leaned back into your seat sipping your vanilla latte.

“hey i know you!”

you look over at the girl surprised, you didn’t think you knew her.

“you were in my vocal class senior year!”

you inspect the girls face more thoroughly. her sloped nose and clear skin jogged your memory.

“ohhh i remember you! you’re nene, the one who sang adele for their final exam.”

(not very well if you recall correctly)

“ya! that’s me!” she responds cheerfully while looking you up and down “and you sang....”

“i didn’t.” you reply embarrassed, looking past her at the highway falling behind the bus window.

“riiight, that was when you ran out of the exam and threw up in front of the science classrooms!”

you nod desperately trying to forget when you were too nervous to perform and vomited in front of your classmates.

“then the principal came but you wanted to come back and-”

“how’s the singing going now?” you cut in, slightly annoyed.

“oh great!” she replies with perfect teeth and rosy lips.

“i’m still doing auditions but i have a feeling something big is coming my way. plus i’ve already achieved something better!”

“what’s that” you reply, losing interest in the pretty girl from high school that you remembered was also quite boring.

“i’m dating a celebrity!” she yells.

everybody on the bus slowly turns to look at us, mostly annoyed at us being loud. you shrink down wanting to disappear from this conversation.

“oh, that’s so cool...” you say not wanting anything more to do with this girl.

“do you wanna know who it was?”

“no that’s okay, you probably shouldn’t tell people anywa-”

“they were in nct 127!”

“what” you say a little too loudly.

“you heard me” she smirks definitely liking your shocked reaction.

she disinterestedly plays with a pink charm on her purse. she was going to make you ask to her to tell the rest of the story. you had to know a little bit more because wayv and nct 127 were both sub units.

you hated girls like this.

“nene, can you please tell me a little more? if you can, i understand if you can’t but-”

“okay, it was like 5 months ago and i was at one of the recording studios downtown doing backup vocals for this really cool band called the rain and as i was going to get a snack they literally walked right past me.”

she retells the story so perfectly and without skipping a beat. you figured she was telling the truth.

“and i totally make eye contact with taeyong. like eye contact” she emphasizes making big eyes at you while continuing.

“the recording manager said that they’d be on a break in 20 so i waited outside and when taeyong came out he says hi to me. and we talk for a little bit and he gives me his number! his actual phone number.”

“wow” you say trying to sound enthusiastic. maybe this was just a boring story and you shouldn’t have asked about it.

“so then a week later we set a date at the dorms... and you know” she says smiling cheekily at me.

“he was super sweet too, he told me this funny story of when mark went on a date with a reporter because she kept writing bad articles about them and she totally thinks that he likes her and that they’re like dating or something. anyways, when i got there..”

your jaw dropped. it made sense now. why they were nice to you and became your friend so suddenly.

god you were so dumb,

why didn’t you think that the managers of wayv would also get the rough drafts of your report too. they definitely told the boys about what you had initially said.

it was apparent now that they were just using you so you’d write a positive report based off of friendship not truth.

“hey y/n?” nene says pinching your arm with her pointy nails. “oh...” she says while definitely trying to suppress her smile. “i forgot, aren’t you are reporter too?” she tilts her head looking at you bemusedly to see how you’d react.

“this is my stop” you say while gesturing to the red flashing light announcing the street that the dance studio is at.

“bye y/n!” nene screeches from inside the bus. “you know where to contact me!”

you wave meekly as the doors shut and the bus passes by you.

while walking to the studio your sadness of being deceived turns into anger and embarrassment. you hated celebrities and vocal majors and cold days and bagels.

you walk into the building and find the room number you had written down on a piece of paper. you walk up two flights of stairs and down a large hallway with closed doors.

finally, you bust into their room to see them by the full length mirrors practicing formations.

they saw the pain and anger on your face and were frightened by how different you seemed.

“y/n, are you okay?” kun asks getting up off of the floor visibly concerned.

you knew that you shouldn’t do this here for so many different reasons. but you felt like you had too. wayv meant too much to you for it all to be fake.

“is this real.” you ask, staring at them and their confused expressions.

“y/n what do you mean-” kun starts

“is this real. is our friendship real?”

they look at you quizzically. why were you bringing this up now.

“yes, we’re friends now. remember we got past the whole hating eachother bit and banded together to make music and you were gonna write the article-”

you cut ten off sharply

“are you just being nice to me because of my job. because you want me to write something nice about you guys.”

they stay silent as you feverishly try to push back tears. the buzz of the room is so loud in your ears.

“i know this is dumb because we haven’t known eachother for long. but i thought that we were friends. i thought you guys- you superstars liked me for who i was. i- over this week i was really happy working and talking with you guys. i’m so stupid to think that you would actually like me.”

you started to get really nervous for speaking your thoughts to them in a rom-com fashion. you wanted to crawl into the floors and disappear.

everyone is quiet for a moment. thinking over what you said as you clutch the cold bagel in your purse trying not to cry.

“what about the song? do you think that was fake? or that we do that with every reporter?” lucas asks.

you look up at them.

“do you know what yan yu means?” yangyang asks

“of course” you reply. “ it means to speak”

“that’s going to be the name of our new title track.” he replies

you look at yangyang wanting him to explain.

winwin steps forward slightly looking at the ground.

“we called it yan yu because you allowed us to speak. because of all that you’ve done while you’ve been here. the thing we care about most isn’t the article, it’s having our own voices. we want to tell the world- through our music that we’re ready to be heard because we finally have something we can say that’s ours. this is all because of you, we can speak now because of you.”

you look into his eyes as they soften in the corners. you know that what winwin said is real because he never liked you enough in the first place to make up such a heartfelt lie.

you start to melt a little as you continue to process the words.

“if we wanted you to write a positive article we would’ve just seduced you.” hendery says. “it’s easier and probably has faster results especially if there’s more of us-”

you run and hug hendery before he finishes. you smile in his arms as he hugs you back. you pretend that you’re not crying but his shirt is probably wet now, so they’ll find out very soon.

what they said was so sincere and nice. you were now convinced that what you had with the boys was real to them too.

all of your worries from early dissipate into the stale air above you. you felt someone hug you from behind only to feel lucas’s warm chest against your back. you smiled bigger as you felt the other members join your hug, feeling warmer and warmer each time a member joins.

a moment later when they were all silent you spoke, trying to not let your voice crack from your crying.

“you deserve to be heard. you guys have so many important things to say and a lot of music that needs to be listened to. i’m glad i could help you all become the fantastic artists you’ve always been.”

you feel the hug tighten around you and you swear your heart smiles within your chest.

how were you ever going to phrase this in the report.

“no, xiaojuns arm is too far above lucas’s it looks weird.”

“are you sure that’s not what the video looks like?” ten questions walking over to inspect the boys formation.

“no shes right” he says moments later after glancing at the laptop screen.

he adjusts their arms and they slowly runs through the next steps as you try to compare them to the video they had given you on one of their laptops.

you stop them seconds later, “lucas coming down from the high kick you were behind by a few seconds and henderey you need to extend your leg more.”

they run the moves again as you enjoy your newfound power over the boys. they had been practicing a new intro choreo for their music bank performance for a little over two hours.

you had agreed to help them because you thought it would be good to add how much hard work and dedication it took to just perform a two minute intro for your article.

okay, another part of you also felt bad for barging into the practice room, accusing them of being fake friends and thinking that they were influencing you so you’d use the little power you did have to make them look good. maybe a little more of the second, but they didn’t need to know that.

“wait stop! did you guys change that cross formation there or was it in the second half.”

“um,” ten says while sweating and breathing vigorously from the nonstop motion. “we changed the triangle formation in the second half to the diagonal line. this is the cross formation.”

“okay, i wasn’t sure, i’ll mark it down. also lucas and yangyang you guys need to fix your levels on that cross because it looks unbalanced” you say while scribbling that down on the stage direction sheet.

“jeesh” xiaojun whispers to the boys, “she’s worse than our choreographer and that’s his actual job.”

the boys chuckle while glancing over at you as you wrote the note down.

“well we’ll be out of here faster and the performance will be good.” kun shrugs while trying to hold back how tired he really was.

lucas pokes kun’s shoulder with one of his long fingers and he goes tumbling down to the ground. the boys laugh hysterically.

“you won’t even be able to walk by the time we do have to perform!” lucas yells in his face while laughing at the tiny amount of pressure that had sent him tumbling to the ground.

“okay we’re gonna take it from the top one more time!” kun yells at you while trying to get up off the ground as the boys continue to laugh at him instead of helping him.

you nod and rewind the video. you had a few more notes but wasn’t sure if they could handle it today. kun seemed pretty tired so reluctantly you just pressed play and let the music run.

you watched the boys in such fascination at how fast and expertly their bodies moved. it was insane to you how some of them couldn’t even dance before becoming trainees but now were better than some professional dancers.

the boys were hard at work on this sunday afternoon. practicing the same painstaking motions over and over again until it morphed into art. to this day i will never understand how idols can turn such mundane actions into a performance piece worthy of national acclaim. for now i have only one solution, i believe there is something inside them that is extraordinary.

part 7 will be linked down here:)

#wayv #lucas #xiaojun #hendery #yangyang #ten #kun #winwin #wayvxreader #wayvsmut #wayvxy/n #slowburn

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crowdedimagines · 5 years

Text

One Night - pt. i (david. d)

an// one night stand turned into so much more with one little happy accident. just for the sake of the story the best friend is named beth, it’s too hard to do it nameless.

“Y/n, are you finally ready? We need to leave like right now” My best friend encourages me to come with her to a club tonight.

“I’m coming!” I yell back putting in my earrings as I walk out of my bedroom.

Last minute we decided to go out tonight. It wasn’t exactly out of the norm for us to go clubbing, but it definitely wasn’t a regular thing. I don’t always like going out, being recognized gets annoying. Beth still thinks it’s really cool whenever it happens.

“Alright, I’m ready.” I turn in a little spin so she can get the full look.

“You look amazing, now what would you do without me?”

“You’re right! What would I do without someone pounding on my apartment door late at night and demanding to go out?” I roll my eyes and she just shrugs with a proud smile.

We take an Uber to the club and hop to the front of the line, my name being a nice plus to the fame.

“This is going to be a goodnight, I can feel it.” Beth grins.

We grab a couple of drinks before making our way to the dance floor. It’s busy tonight, there’s lots of people crammed in the small space. After several songs it’s too much.

“I’ll be back, I need a second to breath.” I yell into Beth’s ear.

She nods and gives me a thumbs up, she’s been talking to a guy for a couple minutes so I’m sure I’m leaving her entertained.

I find a booth on the edge of the dance floor and slide into it.

“Well that’s a bold move.” A voice calls out.

I look over and across from me in the booth is a guy with shaggy brown hair, a proud smile plastered to his face.

“Sorry, I thought the booth was empty.” I admit, I start to slide back out when he holds up a hand for me to stop.

“No, please stay.” He insists, “You’re Y/n right?”

“That’s me.”

“Well, I’m David.” He reaches a hand forward to shake mine, I laugh and reach my own hand forward too.

“Nice to meet you. Thanks for letting me invade your booth, it was getting just a little to hot and crowded out there.”

“Yeah, I don’t blame you. Dance floors are the worst.” He shakes his head while looking out over all of the people.

“Then why are you at a club?” I can feel my brows furrow when I ask this.

“My friends. Plus, I can usually get some content, but tonight I’m having no luck.” He holds up his camera for me to see.

“Youtube?” I ask, referring to his job which he nods to.

“Yeah, I make vlogs.” He rolls his eyes, he’s obviously not proud of the title.

“That’s cool.” I smile.

“Not as cool as bring an artist.” He smirks, “I can only imagine how cool it would be to turn on the radio and hear your own voice.”

“It’s definitely an odd feeling.” I nod with a laugh.

David and I talk for a while, I only leave for a minute to find Beth and tell her I’m hitting it off with some guy. She was thrilled, she was already looking for me to tell me she was going home. David and I continued to talk, his friends came back to the booth a couple of times. It seems like David is their ride, but he doesn’t want to leave yet.

“Do you want to come back to my house?” He asks, suddenly interrupting as if he was trying to get the sentence out as fast as possible. “It’s just my friends want to head back, I’m their ride. We would all be going back as a group.”

I agree and we leave, David makes everyone crowd in the back and lets me sit in front. I introduce myself to everyone and they do the same. All of them admit that they knew me before, except for Jason.

The entire ride we crack jokes and sing and dance to songs. David stuck his camera on the dashboard of his car, but no one is focused on it. The previous song stops and I look over, David has an evil grin on his face while he looks down at his phone.

“What are you up to?” I ask, not bothering to hide the smile creeping onto my face.

“Nothing.” He bites his lip to try and hold back his grin from growing wider.

Before I can say anything back about that being bullshit, a song starts playing. One of my songs to be more precise.

“David.” I groan, I bury my face in my hands. Everyone in the car is belting the lyrics, most out of tune and screaming, but it makes me laugh anyway.

“You’re such a dork.” I roll my eyes.

Soon enough we pull into a driveway and David leads me to the front door.

“This is your place?” I ask with shock.

“Yeah, probably not as nice as yours.” He gets a blush on his face for the first time tonight. He looks cute, I hope it isn’t the last time.

“I have an apartment.” I laugh loudly while looking around the house, “I’m on tour or in the studio so often I haven’t really invested myself in a house yet.”

The rest of the friend group pours in, we all talk and play games as it gets later in the night. David and I have been glued to each other's side the entire night on the couch, his hand on my thigh with my head resting on his shoulder.

“Well, I’m out. It’s getting late.” Scotty stands up, pulling Kristen up with him. This starts a trend, soon enough everyone is gone. Natalie wishes us a goodnight and heads off to her room.

“And then there were two.” I turn to look at David.

“I think I like it better this way.” He gently pulls me onto his lap, “I don’t like sharing you with everybody.”

“Oh, is that so?” I look down at him teasing.

“It is.”

David reaches his hand around to the back of my neck to pull me down closer. Once our lips connect his hand slides down to grip my hips. My hands find his curls and I tug on them slightly, eliciting a moan from him. The kiss keeps getting hotter, I move his head to the side so I can press my lips all down his neck. I pull away to catch my breath and he decides to repeat the actions I just did.

“Wait.” I pull back and press my hand to his chest. He lets out a few breaths and pushes a piece of hair back behind my ear.

“What’s up?” He tries to act casual, but it doesn’t work with the swollen smile and red face.

“We can continue this-” David leans in to connect our lips once again, it takes me a couple of seconds to realize I wasn’t done talking, “But, I leave for tour in two weeks. Whatever this is, is only for one night.”

“One night.” David hesitates for half a second before he agrees.

That’s all it was. One night spent together in his bed, making way too much noise, laughing together at awkward moments, enjoying each other for several rounds. Just because it’s one night doesn’t mean it has to be one time.

I wake up first in the morning, the sun casts a golden light all over the room. Scattered all over the floor are our clothes. I get out of bed to grab my dress quietly only to find it’s been ripped. I don’t remember that happening last night, but I’m not surprised by it.

I tiptoe over to grab his black sweatshirt off the floor, it comes down far enough so I settle for that. I look back over my shoulder, David is still passed out, he hasn’t even loved a muscle as I gathered my things. It feels weird leaving before he’s woken up, but I don’t want to be the girl who stayed. I rarely do anything like this, it all still feels new.

“Goodbye, David.” I press a kiss to his temple and walk back over to the door. I pull the door as quietly shut behind me as I can, my Uber just texted that he’s outside the gate.

“You know he’s going to be sad you left without saying goodbye.” I look over to the kitchen to see Natalie with a bowl of cereal.

“I don’t want to be the girl who stayed.” I admit while looking down at my feet.

“David wouldn’t see it that way. He doesn’t do one night stands, that not who he is.” She gets up to walk over to me, “You don’t have to leave.”

“It’ll be easier this way.” I put on a fake smile, “Thank you for everything, will you just tell him I-I don’t know. Nevermind.”

She nods and crosses her arms over her chest, a polite smile on her face.

“Bye Natalie.” I barely know this girl and I will probably never see her again, but I pull her in for a hug regardless.

“Goodbye, Y/n.” She lets out a laugh and pulls me in tight.

I push David and the rest of group out of my head for the next seven weeks. Other than when I noticed he followed me on Instagram. He hasn’t done anything other than keep up with my tour posts. Tour is an amazing distraction from the boy I left without a goodbye. It’s wonderful until my period is late. Like late late.

“Hey, Amanda.” I walk up to my manager to grab her attention.

“What can I do for you?” She asks without even looking up from her clipboard, she’s running over everything for my show tonight. She’s amazing, she makes sure I’m amazing at what I do. Without her, I wouldn’t be able to perform like I do.

“Amanda, this is like a big thing.”

Finally she sets down the clipboard, I have her full attention.

“I need someone to get me a pregnancy test.”

The color immediately drains from her face.

“And I need it before the show, because if I don’t have it that’s all I’ll be able to think about.”

“What if it’s positive? How are you going to be able to perform with this new information?” She looks at her watch, “You have an hour and five minutes until you’re on stage.”

“I know, just please get someone to go.”

I go back to my dressing room and wait as patiently as I can. I’ve never been in this position, never actually had a pregnancy scare.

“Miss Y/Ln.” Someone knocks at my door.

I swing it open to meet an unfamiliar face, someone who must work with the venue.

“I was asked to get this for you.” She hands me a brown paper bag.

“Thank you.” I look down at the bag in my hands, “You can call me Y/n by the way.”

She smiles and runs off to do some other mission for the show tonight. She isn’t as affected with the weight of the bag like I am.

I take it to the bathroom and for the first time in my life I have to pee on a stick. The waiting is the worst part, worse than waiting for the test to show up. Three minutes. Three minutes and all I can hear is my heart beating in my chest. That is until the timer on my phone goes off. I place my hands on each side of the sink and take a deep breath. I look up in the mirror, I can hardly recognize the girl who’s shaking slightly.

“Either way, I will work things out.” I tell myself and before I can doubt myself I flip over the test.

Pregnant.

y’all know i’m doing a part two as long as you guys love this as much as i do

#david dobrik imagine #david dobrik x you #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik x read #david dobrik imagines #david dobrik smut #david dobrik #david imagines #david imagine #davids vlog #David's Vlogs #vlog squad imagines #vlog squad smut #vlog squad #natalie mariduena #jason nash #scotty sire #kristen mcatee #one night only

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flowerspecial · 5 years

Text

I.M falls in love with another artist

Being brand new into this industry, you didn't really know what to expect. You had never expected for your career to blow up like this. Your mother had pushed you to send a video of you singing to a local record company. And here you were. One of the hottest new artists of the year. You had to relocate to America, so you felt somewhat lonely. Uprooting your life is never easy, and adding the enormous gamble of whether you will actually make it or not. Your heart had been on edge for a while now.

Your manager had booked you into what seemed like hundreds of interviews and talk shows. Your promotion was huge. Your manager had put a lot of money and time into making you a known name in every household. Every interviewer had told you that you were a breath of fresh air coming into this industry. Your voice was deep and strong, it resonated through any arena that you performed in. It's almost as if your voice was that bridge between musical theatre, and jazz. You had this Aretha Franklin vibe going on, and it was greatly received by the public.

Normally at the end of an interview, you are requested to sing a song for the audience. It's a great way for people to get that little taste of who you are as a performer. Your most recent interview was with none other James Corden. James Corden was your favourite talk show host, so you wanted to make this interview better than the others. As the interview proceeded, James began to ask you rather basic questions, such as, how did you get discovered, what's it like living in America etc. But James being James, he’s always going to throw in a cheeky question here and there. That’s just in his nature.

“So, is there anyone on the scene?” James asked you, smirking.

“I’m afraid not.” You replied, shrugging your shoulders slightly to the camera. “I’m not that lucky in love I’m afraid.”

“But you write songs about heartbreak, so surely there must be something there?” He said quizzically.

“I mean I’ve watched my friends experience heartbreak. And I’ve seen enough heartbreaks on tv to know the essence of one. You don’t have to have direct experience with the thing you are writing about it. It's all about embellishment.” You’ve rehearsed this answer so many times, it reels off like an automated response. James did have a fair point. You do tend to write songs that are more melancholic, but that's just because those types of songs show off your vocals the best. Also, you’ve always had quite the sad, dramatic heart. So you found writing lyrics that are more on the sad side much easier than writing about sunshine and rainbows.

“Is there anyone in the industry that you would like to collaborate with?” James asked.

“I mean it's still early days for me. So honestly if anyone reached out, I’d probably say yes. But I would love to work with a K-pop group. They are all dominating right now so it would be cool to see their process to creating music.”

“So BTS?” James said, which elicited a deafening roar of applause and cheers from the audience.

“BTS are a definite. But also groups like NCT or Monsta X. I love Monsta X, so that collab would be a dream come true.” You spoke like a true fan girl, clutching your chest when you mentioned Monsta X. You had been following the group since they debuted, and so if there was any chance in the world that you could do a collaboration with them, you were down.

At the end of the interview, you began to prepare yourself for your performance. When you are on stage, you tend to stand off to the side. This is because you love having dancers be the focal point. You have always said that dancing accentuates the points that the singer tries to get across with the lyrics. You also preferred your lighting to be quite dark. The darkness matched with the soulfulness of your voice, which helped transport the audience into this almost eerie but nonetheless beautiful place that you tried to emulate.

The following day, you woke up to a frenzy of notifications buzzing on your phone. The light dazzled you slightly, but you saw that all of your friends were telling you to get onto twitter pronto. On twitter you saw that your name was trending, but it wasn't just your name. It was your name and Monsta X that was trending. Confused, you click on the hashtag and began scrolling through to see what everyone is going on about.

Your eyes practically doubled in size when you saw that you had been mentioned on Monsta X’s official Twitter page. You dropped the phone in astonishment. Your heart was beginning to race as you could possibly think what they had said. Maybe it was to say thank you for mentioning them? Or maybe it was to say that they hated you and wanted nothing to do with you? Okay, so you realise that maybe you were beginning to run away with yourself. So you picked up the phone to read the message:

We love you too! We would love to work with you sometime! Message us - Changkyun

Was this real? You thought to yourself. Was this actually real life? Did the real Changkyun from Monsta X genuinely just tell you that he is down to work with you? You honestly didn't know how to process this information. So you just sat upright on your bed staring blankly at your phone. What was the protocol here? Should you actually message them? Or were they just being nice for the sake of their image? You was conflicted about your next move but thankfully that decision was taken out of your hands as a notification had popped up that you had a message.

We are working in the same studios that you work in. If you are free at all today, maybe you could come down and we could talk about the collaboration? - Changkyun

You smiled at yourself and thought it was cute that Changkyun was the one who messaged you and mentioned you on twitter. But maybe that was just because he was one of the strongest in English. You didn't want to make a mountain out of a molehill.

After reading the message you sprang off your bed and began to rush around your house. You needed to have a shower, brush your teeth, have breakfast, get dressed, the list was endless. And you know that phenomena that when you are in a rush, everything goes wrong and things keep slowing you down? Well, that was indeed happening to you. It took you ages to finally get out of the house, but thankfully the studios were only a short drive away.

Walking into the studios, you felt nervous in a way. People always say that you should never meet your idols. What happens if they are actually all horrible people? Or maybe this is just one big joke to humiliate you. You pushed the door of your studio slightly, and you sighed in relief as you saw Changkyun sat in there.

“Hey, it's nice to meet you.” You bowed slightly trying to show your respect. But you felt a tad awkward, so you also put your hand out for him to shake. He laughed at your cute little introduction but took your hand anyway.

“Likewise. Your performance last night was amazing. I was stunned.” Changkyun said smoothly. You cursed yourself inwardly as you began to feel a bit hot under his gaze.

Trying to look anywhere, except at Changkyun, you looked across the room. But something didn't seem quite right. “Wait, where is everyone else?” You hadn't noticed it when you first walked in, but now you had realised that Changkyun was alone.

“Oh, the others have something right now but they are coming later!” He sensed your body shift slightly. “Is that okay? If not we can just wait for them to come! I just thought that you and I could get started now. Besides, the other boys don’t really speak English that well so it would be me doing all the talking anyway.”

“Yeah it's fine with me! It just seems strange with only one of you being here. I’m used to seeing all of you together.” You giggled slightly at the end. You took a seat on a chair near the recording deck and patted the seat next to you for Changkyun to sit in. “Now, is there anything you definitely do or definitely don’t want out of this collab?”

“I would like to do something that shows off your voice. You have the best voice I have ever heard. It's so soothing yet powerful. It's like nothing I’ve ever heard before.” As Changkyun confessed, his eyes captured yours and he held them hostage. You was flattered by his sweet words. Due to your rather sudden success, you had grown accustomed to compliments. Many of which you could tell were not said sincerely. But you felt touched by Changkyun’s comments. You could tell that he was speaking from his heart.

“Thank you so much, I’m flattered. I’ve been a huge fan of yours since you debuted. I am honestly shocked that I even get to be in the same room as you!” You replied, prying your eyes away from his. What you didn't notice, as you had looked away, was the faintest of smiles that danced on Changkyun’s lips. He studied the features of your face as if he was about to take an exam in them. He could stare at you all day, and one day he intended on doing just that. But for now, he remembered why you two were here in the first place.

“So I’m thinking, to go with your aesthetic. We could a slow song but with a good beat in the background. That way me and Joohoney could rap. We could even get the other boys to harmonise with you!” His eagerness to appease you was charming.

“I like it. But I don’t actually mind doing something a bit more uptempo. My manager did say it would be good to have at least one song that is different from the rest. That way I can test the waters, you know?”

The afternoon continued as you bounced ideas between each other. In the end you had settled on a fast-ish paced song. Something that really hits hard. We are talking Shoot Out times a thousand. Lyrics was something you always found quite easy to come up with. And working with Changkyun made it even easier, if that was even possible. You seemed to constantly be thinking on the same wavelength. You threw lyrics out left right and centre and Changkyun just had this undeniable talent for making them all connect. As you worked, you sat very close to each other, your shoulders touching. Changkyun would forever be leaning into your personal space to read what you have written. Not that you minded of course.

Changkyun suggested that you should go into the booth and have a mess around with some of the vocals that you might like to feature. That way he could really get a feel for who you are as an artist. Messing around, he told you to go full on Christina Aguilera. And you did just that. The songs that you produce don’t necessarily require that type of singing. You need to be strong in your voice, but you don’t really need to do a lot of runs or belting out. So it's nice to actually see if your voice is capable. Changkyun was truly mesmerised by your talent. He'd only suggested singing like that as a joke, and yet here you were making a joke out of him. You shocked him every way possible, and he loved it. You took your headphones off for a second, just to get a drink.

“We are definitely using that in the song!” He exclaimed, using his hands to show his undeniable excitement.

“Are you sure? I don’t think it sounds that good.”

“You are joking right?” Changkyun stands up and places a hand on each shoulder. “You know I’m just saying this because you are stood in front of me. I truly think you are the best singer I have ever heard! You make everything seem effortless and I could listen to you for hours. You need to show the world that you can sing like that!”

“I guess I could do it once. Just to try it.” Before you or him registered what he was doing. Changkyun embraced you in tight arms and lifted you off the group slightly. He thought you were the most endearing person he had ever met.

“Well excuse me, looks like we are interrupting something.” A voice said. You jumped away from Changkyun in embarrassment. You looked over at who was speaking, and you saw the rest of Monsta X stood before, smirking at you both.

“Oh no, nothing is happening here. We are just working” You quickly spluttered out. You rubbed your arms in comfort and looked at the floor awkwardly.

“Clearly,” Minhyuk began. “Hey Chan, why don’t you hug me like that when we are working?” He asked suggestively.

“Please shut up.” Changkyun mumbled to his older member, clearly mortified with what he was insinuating.

“Okay, okay. Well are you at least going to show us what you have been working on. It seems like Channie here wants you all to yourself.” Minhyuk said.

“I thought you had meetings earlier? That’s why you couldn't get here.” You asked confused.

“Nope. Chan told us this time.” You tried to look at Changkyun but he was looking at the floor with bright red cheeks. “Clearly he didn't want us to ruin the moment.”

Looking at Changkyun, you decided not to press on it further. The boy looked like he would feel this humiliation for days. So instead, you went to the desk and pressed play to show the rest of the boys what you two had been working on. The boys left cheeky comments here and there about Changkyun’s obsession with you. The boys were eager to tell you that he had watched every video and interview that you had ever been on. And they were sure on telling you that when you mentioned on TV that you were a fan, he all but fainted on the spot.

When it was time to leave, the boys filled out of the room quickly, leaving you and Changkyun alone once again.

“I’m really sorry about what they said earlier. It's true, I am a huge fan of yours, when you said you’re a fan of us, I may have screamed a little. So I understand if you think that I am coming on too strong. Or was sneaky for wanting to spend some time with you on my own…” Changkyun rambled on. The best way of shutting him up that you could think of was to place a tender kiss on his cheek. It worked wonders.

“You know, I think it works perfectly that I’m a fan of you and you're a fan of me. It shows we both have excellent taste in music.” You winked at him, causing him to giggle slightly. “But it also means that you will have my best intentions at heart. It means that you will care for me and nurture me when I need it. It means that I think you and I should go on a date sometime.” Changkyun struggled to contain his elation at your comment. He grabbed both of your hands and kissed the back of each. He pulled you in close to his chest, and said softly.

“Well, what about now?”

#monsta x #monsta x imagines #monsta x changkyun

39 notes · View notes

breakyrlegs · 5 years

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The 80 Best Albums of 2018

80. Beware the Book of Eli- Ski Mask the Slump God

For someone who has spent so much time living in the shadow of everyone’s (least) favorite Soundcloud rap quasi-martyr, Ski Mask the Slump God is one of the more audacious technical virtuosos out there. There’s no time to lose on Beware, so every second is a product of Ski anxiously shredding through ways to get your attention. There is no flow he’s afraid to try, no sound he won’t make.

79. 7- Beach House

Beach House have monopolized a space in the indie-rock sphere for about a decade now. Their dominance is no fluke, but after a few hard-hitters, I was worried that they might make the same album over and over again. However, just a week after the almost too obvious Depression Cherry, they dropped Thank Your Lucky Stars, a more lucid affair. It marked a new chapter. 7 sees them continue to be done with making dream pop for sweet, peaceful dreams...they’re now making music for all dreams, especially the ones that linger into the morning, the ones you have to ask around about to make sure they weren’t real. Corny? Maybe, but it’s nice to see a stubborn band add even more dimension to their seasoned sound.

78. El Hombre- El Alfa

What does it mean to be “el hombre”? There’s no straight answer but if I had to take a crack at it, I’d say it‘s when you spearhead an entire genre so hard that when you venture out of said genre, people complain about it, even though the song features Cardi B. It also could be when you make yourself sound like the most obnoxious cartoon mouse imaginable, yet still manage to spit out a slapper. He may be the king of dembow, but El Alfa can’t be pigeonholed. Whether his voice is a sputtering tour-de-force or a comically nasal squelch, this album is a celebration of the ridiculous. In the end, the best songs are peak dembow, where a cloying sample of El Alfa’s voice works itself into a tornado and thumps for what could be forever.

77. 777- KEY! & Kenny Beats

Kenny was a prodigal son who left hip hop with dollar signs in his eyes and his tongue sticking out, tempted by the call of #REAL #TRAP #SHIT. Key! was an artist who had existed on the periphery of the scene, paying his dues while earning the most visibility when tacked onto the end of a Father song. They are the type of match that would slip under the radar until you realize that not only do they bring out the best in each other, but they also tap into something quite glamorous. The beats bump, the melodies stick, the energy is so high, and Key! treats this like his magnum opus. He’s expressive, dynamic, and Kenny lets him do it without any gimmicks.

76. Soma 0,5 Mg- Taconafide

Maybe I’m a little biased, but I can’t understate how much this means to me. A Polish rap album that doesn’t draw on trends that fell out of favor eight years ago? One that is building its own lane and not just tangentially existing on the sidelines of the American scene? One that has not only one moderately funny song but a whole pack of well-thought out, extremely catchy bangers? No way. It’s too good to be true. Taco and Quebonafide carry themselves like they know that this is the album of a generation, that millions of Polish kids living their lives peering across the pond finally have something that is distinctly their own, and, more importantly, distinctly Polish. Dawaj dawaj!

75. Shadow On Everything- BAMBARA

It’s hard to talk dirt on an album that has all its instrumentation down to a tee. Sure, you can’t get by on technical efficiency alone, but when bellowing drums translate into something so menacing and a flurry of guitars create such a haunting ambient presence, you take no detours when you’re propelled into the darkness. These songs are packed with enough action to tell stories but really, they just set scenes. That’s for the better. BAMBARA circumvent all the pitfalls of making post-punk in 2018 by putting passion into everything, ramping up the chaos as much as they can.

74. Doomsday Clarion- Airport

The world of fragile, noisy Soundcloud electronic collages is a pretty funny one, but rarely does the humor feel as sharp as it does on Doomsday Clarion. Miranda Pharis compiles sounds that never cease to keep me amused, intrigued, and, most importantly, spooked. They also find a way to tie them together so that it feels like non-stop commentary. Halfway through this thing, when we are exposed to a tangent about how one of the songs excels at putting an unnamed Youtube commenter’s rabbit to sleep, at first it’s like “LOL random”, but then it starts to feel like a snarky dissection of underground culture performativity...and it makes me wanna keep reaching as hard as I did there. It’s the type of record that wants to make you sound like a fool, yet Pharis doesn’t scoff as much as they embrace and pay homage. These turbulent compositions are all the more essential for it.

73. Nasty- Rico Nasty

There’s a few things you learn on Rico Nasty’s thunderous entrance. Apart from her sixth sense for broke boys and fake bitches, the observation that hits the hardest is that she’s pretty...well...nasty. She’s also not even close to being interested in apologizing for her fame, and anyone who thinks she should because she’s done it by making extremely aggressive (and borderline mean) bangers is full of shit. If Nasty proves anything, it’s that nobody is going quite as hard as this, and even though that would be enough merit to rest on, she’s not going to stop there. The more tender and spacious tracks here are shockingly the ones that bite the hardest. For an album that builds so much tension from brash exclamations, that’s quite a flex.

72. Negro Swan- Blood Orange

For Dev Hynes, the transition from indie’s best networker to its most multifaceted social commentator has been a successful one. However, I feel like that label minimizes him, because his albums are not trying to tell you anything, instead acting as abstractly pointed containers for ideas and chunks of culture that mold together into something triumphant. His albums have always been celebrations that cut deep into the complexity of blackness, queerness, and history. Negro Swan is his most on-the-nose and also his most unapologetically happy. However, it’s not the concise statements that make the album but the gorgeous, subdued melodies that take charge before you can even touch them. It might lack the explosiveness of Freetown Sound, but there’s hardly a moment on this record that isn’t radiant or holds back on any of its charm.

71. In Another Life- Sandro Perri

It doesn’t take long until the title track on this album finds the groove that it will spend the next 24-minutes delicately unraveling. It is a dainty, sweeping groove based on a simple keyboard arpeggio that invites every other sound in the vicinity to flourish with it, like it’s hosting an open picnic. It paces around, disintegrating and advancing with time, but by the end, it’s exactly where it started. That’s the beauty of Perri’s work; to say he can milk an idea is an understatement. He can milk an idea to the point where you can’t even tell an idea’s being milked, silently highlighting the beauty that emerges with prolonged exposure.

70. Aura- Ozuna

It should come as no surprise that the most stacked summer album came courtesy of reggaeton’s most profitable powerhouse. It’s not even the extent to which these tracks go, but the sheer force with which Ozuna can continuously spin out them out, over and over again, like it’s absolutely nothing to him. For over an hour, it sounds like he’s doing no more than acting on his impulses, tapping into non-stop melodies and rhythms with confidence that it will all stick. Of course all these songs exist in the same vein, but there’s no comparing the twinkling romance of ‘Ibiza’ with the glitzy flexing on ‘Única’ or even the thumping pulse of ‘Sigueme los Pasos’, where he gloriously joins forces with reggaeton’s other king. There are 20 bangers on here, and the album only kinda drags. It can’t be this easy.

69. Famous Cryp- Blueface

It’s actually hilarious watching people get worked up about Blueface. “He can’t even rap on beat! How hard can it be to rap on beat?” Lmao, if you think rapping on beat is a prerequisite to making hip-hop, you’re as bad as the people trying to keep the impressionists out of art galleries just because they weren’t making hyper-realistic Jesus art. Yeah, I said it. Blueface is rap game Renoir. For real, it’s so much easier to rely on conventional technical ability than to tap into something that actually expands on a style of rap that should’ve been out of ideas a long time ago. Most importantly, if Blueface is such a hack, then how come he makes it sound so fucking good? How does he manage to rap like he’s racing the beat to the end of each bar, with his voice cracking every chance it gets, and still churn out songs with so much momentum? Why the fuck would he rap on beat? So he can sound like every wholesale G Perico/YG out there? Smh.

68. ASTROWORLD- Travis Scott

It would almost be irresponsible to leave the most quintessentially 2018 album of 2018 off this list. If you didn’t hear ASTROWORLD within a week of it dropping, you might as well have been watching telemarketing that whole week while 60,000 feet under the ground with no phone service. For all its lyrical gaffes, lack of personality, and unreasonably quiet NAV features, this album is pretty sick. We always knew Travis Scott was something of a curational master, with a taste for crafting rap albums that aren’t about him as much as they are apexes of the mainstream scene. However, when he came off as hollow before, ASTROWORLD has such an abundance of quality that you can’t even deny it. His ambition is easy to poke fun at until you find yourself returning to these songs again and again, marveling at each extravagant beat change or “STRAIGHT UP!” like it was your first time hearing it.

67. SR3MM- Rae Sremmurd

Just a note, I’m not referring to two solo albums that came with this (sorry Swaecation) because for all their charm, those were a bit harder to vouch for. Instead, I’m talking about the nine-track banger platter that got overshadowed by all the noise surrounding the “triple album.” Somehow, SR3MM was stealthily the well-rounded, adventurous album the boys had been promising us this whole time. Perhaps it’s because it is filler-free or because both of them (Swae Lee especially) have become absolute masters of their craft, having made so many seductive, irresistible tracks that at this point they could do it in their sleep. Or maybe it’s because there are so many imitators and it’s nice to have a burst of authenticity. There is hardly a moment on this album that isn’t an integral part of a refined rap song. They have so much more fun together. Sure, Swae is eclipsing, but I really hope they don’t break up.

66. Loma- Loma

When Cross Record established themselves as sublime folk masters on Wabi-Sabi, I didn’t think they needed the not-so-trendy and very, very normal input of Shearwater’s Jonathan Meiburg. I guess I was wrong. Turns out where they were once comfortable soaking in the hushed splendor, they are now compelled to be a bit more ambitious, to venture into louder places with more confidence. Thankfully, the newfound grandiosity does not come at the expense of any beauty; the vocal acrobatics sink into the spectral sheets of instrumentation just as smoothly as they did before.

65. Pastoral- Gazelle Twin

Gazelle Twin is a hard sell. There’s really no reason this uber-spooky electronic project where a woman in a mask chants and roars over industrial beats should be good. The look is cool and all, but this shit can be really off-putting if you’re not willing to have a little fun. Thankfully, the vibe is backed up by the production, which seems custom built to fill these songs with the bloodcurdling energy they project. If she’s not pounding her shrillness into you, she’s catching a sample at its most disorienting and looping it into further oblivion. It’s overwhelming yet so effective.

64. QUARTERTHING- Joey Purp

Now, I'm no purist who lives their life cowering under "DEATH TO MUMBLE RAP" bullshit, but if the status quo of hip-hop today can be critiqued for one thing, it's monotony. In a time where Drake can drop a 25-song album with, like, only ten songs where he actually sounds interested in what he's saying, it's refreshing to hear Joey Purp attack each verse like it's his last, with each hook falling into its groove like he was told at gunpoint to think of something catchy. If Joey Purp makes a song about something, he's going to approach the topic with purpose, almost likes he's aiming to make the definitive song about that thing. Here, he uses this essentiality to flex his versatility. QUARTERTHING is a record of confident experiments, songs that wander into unknown territory with purpose, capturing lightning in a bottle most of the time.

63. Le Kov- Gwenno

Gwenno is the type of vocalist who gets swept up by her songs rather than situating herself at the eye of storm. Her voice is a soft whisper most of the time, but the reverb on the drums accentuates each snare with a room filling quality while every dash of organ lingers and sustains. It’s baroque, it’s timeless, and, most importantly, it’s in Cornish, which I definitely thought was an extinct language. She could rest on that monopoly and still be fine, but she indulges instead. It’s an ideal combination of originality and refinement of an age-old style.

62. Drip Harder- Lil Baby & Gunna

When they’re not together, Lil Baby and Gunna aren’t that good. All of their solo albums at this point have been coated in filler, and when there’s a standout track, they usually both show up. That’s why it’s not surprising that the Young Thug proteges find their niche on Drip Harder, but it’s still shocking just how sharp, cohesive, and vital this sounds. The duo are moulding expressive, abstract melody-driven hip-hop in a way that hasn’t been as notable and of-the-time since Thugger and Rich Homie Quan did it in 2014. That pairing was more unlikely and exciting, but this one is more natural. Every moan, confession, and groove on here is impossible to resist, and the beats are some of the most intoxicating of the year. RHQ and Thugger crashed hard as a duo after they peaked, but I hope these two either stick together or use this as a launchpad for artistic growth. There’s so much room for it to grow, but for now, it’s more than enough to watch them carry each other’s weight.

61. Another Life- Amnesia Scanner

The hyper-saturated industrial dance music of Amnesia Scanner has now turned into hyper-saturated industrial pop music. As bizarre as that is to say about songs that are almost all led by grating synthetic vocals on the brink of becoming a deafening screech, there’s something conventionally attractive about the way these hooks form. Whether it comes in the form of a stuttering refrain or a massive #drop designed to elevate any scrapyard rave into the impending cyber-apocalypse, the pleasures here are simple.

60. Magus- Thou

It’s getting harder and harder for fans across the metal spectrum to agree on a canon. So much metal is being churned out at such a high rate, it’s becoming more of a task to pick out the gold from the clutter. Thou make a name for themselves with unmistakable grandiosity. Their sound isn’t the most challenging; the snarls have a soothing, ASMR-esque texture to them and the riffs are clean-cut, progressing with grace. For a band this prolific, it’s notable when they come out with something this refined. You can hear the effort in every idea, the precision in every new path they take. Magus might be the best entry point for metal’s most consistent stalwarts, a band who are much more interested in perfecting their distinct ambiance than embarking on well-meaning but slightly muddled genre-fusion.

59. abysskiss- Adrianne Lenker

As if Big Thief weren’t intimate enough. Adrianne Lenker takes her band’s prime descriptor (either “intimate” or “delicate,” depends on the day) and sees just how far she can push it before it gets uncomfortable. The staring contest that ensues on abysskiss is what you’d expect from one of the most hushed, intricate vocalists breathing into your ear with no more than a guitar backing her up. She definitely has the talent to get away with a mood piece, but no, abysskiss is home to some of the most devastating songs in her arsenal. At her best Lenker is lulling you into woozy trance, with songs that pack the visceral explosion of secrets. Such a sparse record has no right to be this intoxicating.

58. FM!- Vince Staples

You wouldn’t trust an elegant craftsman like Vince Staples to actually make an album that’s “no concepts, no elaborate schemes, just music.” He’s rap’s smuggest pundit, as well as the brains behind some of its most captivating music. So even though FM! is brief and blunt at its core, it still can’t resist being super clever. For starts, although Vince’s albums are often personal, they are seldom embedded with this much unshakable geography and West Coast inside humor. FM! is designed to sound like it’s playing on FM (get it) radio, and every time he cashes in on the gimmick with a new Tyga or Earl Sweatshirt snippet, his grin becomes more radiant. FM! thrives as a reminder that Vince can hop on any slender beat and ride it with ease, his listenability being the spectacle with the observations fattening it up.

57. Cellar Belly- Wished Bone

Those who know me might be shocked that a lo-fi twee album of any kind made it on this list, but Wished Bone are onto something. Sure, I’m a sucker for those staticy, soothing vocals and the delicate clicks and hisses that adorn them. If you’re going to celebrate the whimsical, you better make a full send. However, the beauty of Cellar Belly is not just the alluring sound but the amount Wished Bone are willing to do with it. There’s a sex jam called ‘Pollinate Me’ where they literally go “I am a flower, you are a bee.” Elsewhere, when ‘Seed’ abruptly turns into an itchy swing jam, I’m floored. Shouts out to delicate phantasmagoria; this is haunting in the cutest way.

56. mouth mouse maus- emamouse x yeongrak

This album is a colossal headache. Of course, anything that picks from the most lo-fi strains of nightcore and 8-bit is likely to make you feel a bit queasy, but mouth mouse maus is actually mesmerizing with the extent to which it sounds like a malfunctioning carousel in clown hell. Sure, this album is difficult to listen to and if you’re tuning in casually it’ll probably sound like erratic sludge. Yet there’s something heinous about just how fun it is. It’s not just fun in the random, unpredictable way but more so because it has you on the edge of your seat. This album tests you but you’re going to want to keep going, just to catch a glimpse at whatever tomfuckery comes next.

55. Elysia Crampton- Elysia Crampton

Although she likes to keep it short, nobody has epitomized the vanguard of electronic music in the past few years as confidently as Elysia Crampton. It’s like her sound is caught in this furious web where everything collides, with snippets of trap tripping over sturdy breakbeats that are embellished with a whiff of punk. It’s like an information overload themed fever dream that creates a world so dense it hurts your brain to think about. But it sounds so good with no frills. It’s a language so tempting to imitate, but even her peers can’t come close to this breathtaking chaos. This time, the grooves are as adventurous and subtle as they have ever been. It’s just as easy to be drawn in and just as hard to look away.

54. Freedom- Amen Dunes

Freedom is one of those rare sonic wonders that seems removed from any modern trends yet pushes the envelope far too much to be shrugged off as revivalism. Sure, Amen Dunes have influences and many of them come from a clearly defined school of rugged, classic Americana. However, Freedom is too musically nuanced and personal to function as any sort of nostalgia trip. It’s the album where a mastermind songwriter fully finds his voice after nearly a decade. Damon McMahon has made great albums before, but none of them have the urgency of Freedom. In that sense, it feels like it came out of nowhere, even though that couldn’t be further from the truth. The loudness with which he projects, this unmistakable need to be heard is what’s new; Freedom is an album that screams self-acceptance, magnifying the affirmative catharsis that comes after years of internalized trauma. You can’t deny the power of that, but even if you do, you have more than enough splendid melodies to gawk at.

53. Chris- Christine and the Queens

I get too close to putting Chris in a box. Impulse has me wanting to write about how this a masterclass in “queer pop,” because it’s so easy to oversimplify queer artists and bunch them together under the same umbrella. Although identity is at the core of her art, Chris is not an embrace of an identity as much as it is a rejection of the need to clearly articulate your identity or to have an identity that pertains to a set of rules. Chris finds eroticism in confusion, and in that sense, it is a stellar non-statement, with each sentiment drilled into your heart via Chris’s enveloping voice and the record’s colorful, addictive production. Vulnerability is rarely this convincing.

52. Now Only- Mount Eerie

On the surface, Now Only feels like six leftovers from the most gut-wrenching musical diary entry about death ever made. That would be fine, but this is so much more. Now Only exhibits a new lens with which Phil Elverum views his devastation. He knows he will never accept it, but allowing himself to grieve helps him approach a semblance of peace. The confessional approach is just as tear-jerking as it was before, but instead of lingering in Genevieve’s ghost, we are hearing someone who has found deeper meaning in this therapy. Musically, Now Only is more vast and ambitious, but the sentiment is just as awe-inspiring. It takes a lot of genuine pain to pull off songwriting like this, and after the mass catharsis that touring A Crow Looked at Me must have been, it’s fascinating to witness the depth and growth of some of the most intense emotions one can ever feel.

51. Only Love- The Armed

Maximalism and enigma is a tricky cocktail to pull off, but if there’s a place for it, it’s definitely in the hyper-saturated world of metalcore. There’s only a few ways in which these types of outbursts can go down, but when you’re doing as much as The Armed, it ends up being pretty spicy. This album is a non-stop catharsis where everyone is putting all the effort they possibly can into whatever noise they’re making. It seems spontaneous and turbulent, but there’s no way something this constantly earth-shattering isn’t carefully orchestrated. I would call this all-over-the-place, but all the action is streamlined and compressed so that, for all its shrieking and pounding, Only Love ends up being a pretty nice listen. That’s only from a sonic perspective though, because as an emotional experience, this is gut-wrenching, borderline hard to sit through. If you give it the attention it demands, Only Love’s childlike expression defies trends and subverts expectations.

50. Rich As In Spirit- Rich Homie Quan

What do you do when you fall off? It happens to pretty much everyone eventually. I don’t judge those who decide to cash in or rely on publicity stunts to get back into the public eye or even those who just stop trying. But Rich Homie Quan made one promise to us, didn’t he? He goes in on every song. He’s still goin in. He will never stop going in. Rich Homie Quan has been eclipsed by most of his former peers, but on Rich As In Spirit, he does exactly what he needed to do; stop worrying and hone his craft. You can hear the effort and emotion on just about every song. Rich Homie knows he’s gifted and doesn’t need to prove it. He’s always had a vastly underappreciated melodic grip and a penchant for churning out the most energy-fueled, heartfelt bangers. Rich As In Spirit magnifies that. Putting in effort doesn’t mean overdoing it. It’s refreshing to hear someone sound so much less jaded than his contemporaries, quietly outshining them in the process.

49. X 100PRE- Bad Bunny

Bad Bunny’s bellowing baritone used to be a couple things, but now it’s everything. As one of the most potent voices in pop music, his debut album was liable to slap, but X 100PRE concisely shows off the versatility that his singles hinted at. To say he stays in his comfort zone would be irrelevant because his comfort zone is so wide. He came up off the Latin trap wave, but now his prowess shines strongest on his ballads; the inspired optimism of ‘Estamos Bien’ or the sensual nocturne on ‘Otra Noche en Miami’. When he links with Diplo on ‘200 MPH’, it is just as mammoth as you’d expect, not because of Diplo but because the refrain is so fucking sticky. Even the songs where he does the most are far from tacky; the seamless switch on ‘Solo de Mi’ and the hilarious entrance of El Alfa on ‘La Romana’ show his curational eye. It’s one thing to have great ideas but it’s another to execute them so tastefully. Bad Bunny is Puerto Rico’s improvement of Travis Scott; his albums have the same sights and sounds, but twice the personality.

48. A Whole Fucking Lifetime of This- American Pleasure Club

You never know what you’re going to get from a Sam Ray project. One of the great gifts to have comes with the passing of time is the bleeding of Ricky Eat Acid’s mesmerizing ambient music into Ray’s lo-fi emo outlet Teen Suicide, which has now rightfully rebranded as American Pleasure Club. The cynicism has shed off with the name; A Whole Fucking Lifetime of This is still despondent and stressed out (I mean what do you expect with that title), but it’s a lot more genuine and the thrills it holds are a lot more heartfelt. It’s hard to think of a way to channel your emotions that Ray won’t try. This album mostly consists of illustrious sad ballads made from ingredients so delicate that it seems like the foundation could collapse at any time. That’s not to imply that it is unsturdy but rather that these sounds are strong enough to break free from the glue holding them together. Elegance has become Ray’s forte, but he makes sure every goosebump is earned.

47. KTSE- Teyana Taylor

The last and least anticipated of Kanye’s Wyoming albums ended up being the easiest one to love. Teyana Taylor had been sitting on a bed of potential for years before this dropped, but her most visible moments came in the form of uncredited features, reality TV, and Kanye music videos. Kanye’s gold mine of minimalist, sample-based production feels most at ease when it’s elevating R&B, and Teyana has the ideal disposition to lead the charge. She’s confident, unashamed, and empowered. These songs articulate pleasure in a way that is proudly hyper-sexual, but even though its lyrics read like erotic literature sometimes, the result is tasteful. Taylor composes herself on this album like a star waiting to burst, her raspy yelp stealing the show every chance it gets. But this album will forever be associated with Kanye, and in fairness, that’s fine. He saved the most sultry, glimmering beats in his arsenal for this, and it pays off on an album that unravels with masterful pace.

46. Kwaidan- Meitei

I haven’t heard anything else like this and I promise I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t mean it. Kwaidan is an anomaly, an album that orchestrates the most befuddling atmosphere without getting lost in its abstraction. Rhythms emerge from dust and the spoken-word croak (you’ll know it when you hear it) rides them with the grip of an MC. The juxtaposition of ancient and futuristic emerged when Meitei moved to Kyoto, a city where he knew nobody, and wandered around until the mood overwhelmed him. The bite of Kwaidan is rooted in this immersion; there’s no way you can make music this precise, creative, and original without fully buying into your surroundings. Many artist have tried (and failed) to capture the oh so fetishizable “Lost Japanese” aesthetic. Kwaidan epitomizes exactly what they were chasing. It’s hard thing to do right, but holy shit, it is rewarding.

45. Nothing 2 Loose- DJ Healer

There are three types of tracks on here. First, there are the more standard ambient ones, where lonely synths tread through densely layered pops and crackles. Then there are the ones which are led by a melting vocal sample (often a vocoder) channeling something disorienting and alien. However, the big guns come out when the record takes an absurd sample, whether it be a melodramatic melody or some ridiculous rambling about how “this is God’s creation...isn’t it beautiful,” and loops it over some equally theatrical breakbeats. This shit can be so funny, and it’s hard to tell if the hyper-spiritual aesthetic is tongue-in-cheek or completely earnest. Either way, it drills itself into the record enough to justify whatever it is trying to be, regardless of whether it’s a punchline or naked sincerity. This is one of the more haunting, incisive ambient techno albums in recent memory, built on ideas that are not only clever but extremely immersive.

44. Grid of Points- Grouper

Nobody has spent this decade cultivating a more distinct, mesmerizing aesthetic than Liz Harris. Grouper has become one of the most reliable operations in modern music. You know that you’re going to get little more than reverb-soaked piano and breathy vocals, but you also know that the wave of emotions will be overwhelming. Harris records these songs in a room alone, and I don’t think it could be done any other way. It’s astonishing how she is able to consistently do so much with so little, and I know that’s a cliché but fuck it. The warmth and comfort that radiates from these songs is priceless. Grid of Points is not as haunting as past Grouper, but it’s more ethereal and, as a result, more conventionally pretty. This type of allure is a undeniable fit. It shows a new angle of a simple formula that will suck you in with every last breath and smother you with its seclusion.

43. Daytona- Pusha T

Who is the 2018 Clipse? Rae Sremmurd? (lol I like this analogy already) Let’s ride with it. Daytona is like if Swae Lee, 12 years down the line, actually found a more compelling way to sing about going to the Bahamas and dunking a girl in a pool. Obviously, in this case, the Bahamas and pools are replaced by selling coke, but you know what I’m saying. Basically, Pusha T has every right to have peaked already, but instead his coke aficionado character has only grown stronger with age. Like, I can’t believe it took him this long to come up with the line “fuck it, brick for brick, let’s have a blow off.” However, it’s not really Pusha T’s words that form this album’s backbone; as the entry point to Kanye’s prolific (and pretty great) Wyoming Sessions, the real catch is how Pusha T is able to merge with these stuttering, soulful backdrops to turn coke-rap into razor sharp poetry. Pusha’s dedication to developing one thing over the course of his career has made his imagery as potent as ever; but the brevity and minimalism here will not waste a single moment. In a year where he temporarily took down pop rap’s radio Jesus, his true legacy builder was far more modest but much more premeditated.

42. Golden Hour- Kacey Musgraves

You ever think about, like, how there’s northern lights in our skies, plants that grow and open our minds. It’s kinda crazy that in Tennessee the sun’s going down and in Beijing they’re heading out to work. This is a real thing. Kacey Musgraves writes lyrics like she is a child realizing everything for the first time and marvelling, jaw agape, at how it makes her feel. All cynicism aside, it’s refreshing to hear someone so enthralled with it. Golden Hour is a collection of earnest meditations on the most simple phenomena, shit we take for granted. And while it’s easy to poke fun at the parts of this album that sound like earnest marijuana-fueled banter, it’s a lot harder to escape when the music is so beautiful and the sentiment is so genuine. There are moments on here where Musgraves underlines things like temporality of our most cherished relationships or how euphoria is always dissolved by the shock that it’s all going to end. This is some of the purest lyricism that exists, an album that frees itself from the alienating shackles of its country aesthetic to become one of 2018’s hardest things to argue with.

41. Slide- George Clanton

If you openly exploit the “vaporwave” tag for Soundcloud plays while lightly disowning the genre, you must be quite a cunning fucker. You better make sure that the music you’re making is not only post-vaporwave but a capitalization on the aesthetic that resonates with millions but earns the scorn of the critical masses. Slide is just that. It feels grand and important, like it’s the apex of the more cyber-persuaded strain of electro-pop lurking around the memescape. George Clanton is a meme god, an artist whose ambition justifies the more eye-roll inducing, needlessly fetishistic aspects of the subculture. The motifs in this album are not just extremely well thought out but all the more effective when they emerge in the form of blustering, explosive melodies. It’s very hard for them to fall into the background not just because they are beautiful but because you can tell he’s having fun. Slide ensures that there’s a wholesome time hiding behind every cloud of reverb.

40. Momentary Glance- Lisa/Liza

During a phase of grief, any creation is worthy of praise. The lore of Momentary Glance is clear-cut; overwhelmed by tragedy, Liza Victoria persevered through a biting winter to record these six songs. The despondent trance she falls into as she strums and chants is hypnotic, not just because of the prolonged intimacy but because the compositions are presented with all their raw imperfections, embellishments that suck you in instead of taking you out. Victoria’s vocals on this album act as a well of hope in the face of despair. There’s no right way to cope and no glory in suffering, so praising this album’s open wounds seems counterproductive. But when an aspect of your livelihood is snatched from you forever and you can’t bear how much you miss someone, an album that gets it like this is a warm blanket in a freezer, a beacon of empathy in the face of debilitating turmoil.

39. KIDS SEE GHOSTS- KIDS SEE GHOSTS

I’m not sure who needed this most. Was it Kanye, eager to balance out his ugly, legacy-ruining 2018 by making people finally talk about his music again? Or was it Kid Cudi, the tortured autotune godfather whose albums over the past decade had ranged from forgettable to holy shit i don’t even wanna think about it? Either way, KIDS SEE GHOSTS was the apex of the Wyoming sessions. It’s as if all the urgency spun into one concise project, where every segment showcases two genuine masterminds trying to bring out the best in one another. Kid Cudi especially treats this like the album he was destined to make, exhibiting warbles so seductive that you forget they were ever grating. He lends this album its emotional cruciality, with skyrocketing hooks that ache so hard and a tone so spot on it’s like he was saving it all for this.

Kanye takes this as an opportunity to showcase his curational genius. For a seven song album, many of these tracks feel like interludes not because they shrug off responsibility but because they take a form so unconventional that it’s almost distracting. Even the boldest ideas on here leave a great taste in your mouth, but in the end the dearest pleasure is Kanye’s rapping. Every time he opens his mouth he does so with vitality, something we haven’t seen to this degree since Yeezus.

38. 2012-2017- Against All Logic

Nicolas Jaar is a sonic virtuoso. While he’s proven many times that he can twist and fiddle through his most complex compositions, simplicity bears the most genuine rewards. As you may have guessed from the title, this is a compilation of sorts. It suggests that Jaar has been taking a crack at more conventional house music on the side for most of this decade, and needed an outlet to release it without disrupting the much darker, denser expectations of the Nicolas Jaar brand. It’s no surprise that he pulls it off. It’s hard to think of another producer who has a more nuanced grip on how grooves work and how to find glory in texture. That being said, I did not expect something this casual and accessible to reveal itself as Jaar’s forte. Jaar really is one for the intersection of soul and house. These songs all follow a similar formula where an old-school sample gets worked into a modest yet riveting pulse. However, what he taps into suggests that some of these sounds are much more compelling with the context flipped around. For the scribblings of a mastermind, this is unreasonably presentable.

37. Stadium- Eli Keszler

The moment on Stadium that has me sold iss not one of the ingenious blends of shuffling percussion and jittering plucks that come to define its sound. It’s at the end of a song called ‘We Live in a Pathetic Temporal Urgency’ (lol), where the thuds dissipate and we are left with a natural sound recording of what sounds like pop music playing on the speakers of the mall. It’s like it is beaming from a different planet, simultaneously grounding the album and inverting it into a much stranger endeavor. Keszler has orchestrated a platter of ear candy, sound porn disguised as psycho-jazz. Sure, the odd time-signatures and abundance of texture might grab the headlines, but the real kicker here is the lull that actively rests behind the music. I wish all glitzy technical showcases doubled as ambient mood pieces.

36. The Recurrence of Infections- bod [包家巷]

There’s an ennui that not enough people make art about. Nicholas Zhu (aka bod) would call it “the quiet hours of laborious coping that fall into the areas between work and sleep,” but I’d probably call it “chill time”. The Recurrence of Infections is a lot of high-strung aesthetically driven gobbledygook, but it’s fucking awesome. I actually buy into it pretty hard. Forget the fact that it’s a masterclass in sound design and think about what “laborious coping” would sound like. You probably can’t think of much, but that’s because you can’t realize your vision as well as Zhu can. Pianos that turn into crashes that turn into distorted growling that turn into robotic warbling...these are not the type of things you remember, but can easily relax with, if you tune out the real pressure. It’s a joy to watch this album unravel. It’s the type of thing you’ll want to tell people about without being able to explain why. But that’s ok. Come hang sometime.

35. The Invisible Comes To Us- Anna & Elizabeth

Anna & Elizabeth make musical period pieces. It doesn’t take long until you realize that this isn’t just a folk throwback; these are actually old folk songs, shit that was popping off in, like, the 40s. While the whole “old songs for new audiences” thing is wholesome, the magic is in where they go with it. The Invisible Comes To Us is exhilaratingly strange to listen to. Adorned by a seemingly ancient aesthetic, you’d think a modernization could get away with slapping some synths and beats on there and calling it a day. However, Anna & Elizabeth are interested in how this music would sound if its spirit was still alive today, if people still had good reason to write lyrics like “tell me jovial sailors, tell me true/does my sweet William sail among your crew?” but had the technology to throw some electronic embellishments on there. Every song sees a comically traditional tune come to a screeching synthetic halt, and even though that combination should wear thin, the execution is passionate enough to be chilling.

34. Whack World- Tierra Whack

The strongest gimmicks are usually the most frustrating. Whack World is a harsh epitome of this; it’s a project that suffocates itself with originality, but would it really ruin the illusion if some of these songs were a couple minutes longer? It doesn’t matter, because this album and the visual spectacle that came with it was enough to fit right into our zeitgeist and run laps around anything less casually ambitious. Of course, part of the appeal was seeing Tierra Whack trimming a poodle, prancing around a cemetary with muppets, and snipping the strings of balloons while snarling in a Southern accent. However, an album’s stellar presentation doesn’t always translate into such addicting songs. Whack World is fifteen great ideas taken at face value so that they never lose momentum. These tracks seem designed to get stuck on repeat, always finding a groove and savagely leaving cravings unfulfilled.

33. Twin Fantasy- Car Seat Headrest

It’s weird to throw this on here because these songs have existed for such a long time. However, newer resources sparked an overhaul we didn’t even know we needed, and boy, did it work out. Twin Fantasy is one of those records that is so painfully personal you feel almost uncomfortable. Immersing yourself in its tales of infatuation and self-awareness to the point where you’re basically watching Will Toledo gut himself and everyone around him shouldn’t be this fun. It doesn’t gain a new audience by straying away from the lo-fi, but rather by accentuating the musical and conceptual turbulence. The best songs on here are eager shapeshifters, growing bigger and bigger until they pop, or in the some cases, they reach the ten minute mark and start gyrating. Eventually, he’ll start doing things like convincing himself that he can’t be evil, not because he’s good, but because “evil” is a phony construct. It’s a drastic leap from fondly recalling Skype calls to declaring that he is incapable of being both human and inhuman. Or is it? Car Seat Headrest has mastered the smug grin that does bad job of holding back the tears, hitting you with enough unhinged emotion to justify its performativity.

32. Sorpresa Familia- Mourn

Mourn have had a lot of burdens to shake in the wake of Sorpresa Familia, and it almost feels like they could only have made this album with something to prove. It makes sense as the product of a fight for financial justice, as it also sees Mourn viciously slithering away from the buzzwords people use to define them and the marquee names writers like me automatically liken them to. However, they don't do this by changing their sound, but by upping the ferocity in their energy, the complexity of their arrangements, and the stickiness of their melodies.

The commitment to quality makes it easy to forget the label drama that birthed this record. However, Sorpresa Familia would not exist in this form without the rage and hunger for justice that marked its creative process. "At 19 years old we're signing our divorce," they growl at one point. Anyone who has gone through it knows divorce often becomes a blissful catharsis for the victim. Sorpresa Familia doesn't merely mark this catharsis; it proves that Mourn needed to loosen the shackles to make the most fully-formed record of their career.

31. Lush- Snail Mail

It’s odd to hear someone younger than me (I’m 20) rock a style that shouldn’t have too many ideas left in the tank. That being said, it’s especially wild when they do so with such grace, sounding like a seasoned vet in their prime. Lush isn’t brimming with new sounds, but somehow it manages to be the most refreshing indie rock record in recent memory. Maybe it’s because the songwriting is simple at heart but captures something so universal and captivating. Lush dissects the ambiguities of young love, both the frustrating rush of being swept away and the strength it takes to realize that the exasperation may not be worth it. It resonates with me, and I can’t imagine these sentiments falling short on anyone, at least when they are delivered by Lindsay Jordan’s absolute powerhouse vocals. The more emotional bits come in like a sustained avalanche, knowing exactly what to emphasize and what not to overdo.

30. Devotion- Tirzah

We’ll talk about Tirzah in a second, but let’s take a minute to gawk at Mica Levi. It takes a seldom-seen skill set to create some the most weirdly accessible pop records of the early decade and then go on to get an Oscar nod for a movie about Jackie Kennedy. Yet now, having produced Devotion, she’s ready to give her tasteful, haunting minimalism the charismatic voice it has always deserved. Mica Levi was never the best frontwoman, so enter Tirzah, with a sultry, conversational voice that can mutter and howl in the same breath. This is a partnership that has been bubbling since early childhood, and you can tell just how well these two understand each other’s creative boundaries. Mica will take a sparse loop and spread it wide enough for Tirzah to spit out vulnerable bars like nobody’s watching, like she’s catching herself in a scary moment of candor and embracing it.

29. Sweetener- Ariana Grande

Ariana Grande’s music had always one-upped her public person. She had been in marquee relationships before, but none as inescapable as this. It’s weird to look back on Sweetener, which was dropped during peak Grandsonmania, as this happy, beam of light sticking out after she witnessed a bonafide tragedy unfurl at her now-infamous Manchester concert. It was the sound of an icon in full control of her narrative, choosing to show resilience and overdose on bliss. Instead of being distracted by her newfound spot at the top of the A-list, she was inspired by the spotlight. That being said, context doesn’t make Sweetener. Ariana Grande has always had a penchant for the most irresistible, immaculate pop masterstrokes, and Sweetner is home to so many of them. Her vocal capacity has become practically superhuman at this point. Whether she is howling on ‘breathin’ or unleashing a phantasmagoric coo on ‘R.E.M.’ it’s hard to imagine a delivery that would suit these songs better. She has perfected the ballad, but she has also perfected the bop, and Sweetener shows that she can effortlessly blend the two.

Of course, tragedy struck again in the death of her ex-boyfriend/best friend Mac Miller. She broke up with Pete and unpacked everything with her biggest song yet. However, Sweetener will always stand out as one of the most crucial and enjoyable bubblegum pop records of our time, one that, for all its lore, continues Ariana’s tradition of putting the music first.

28. New Bodies- Tangents

I’m never one to judge an album primarily by its capacity to make me go “whoa!”, but if I was, New Bodies would probably top this list. Simply put, this is a technical masterstroke. The type of music Tangents make is pretty hard to classify; its sprawling instrumental flexing suggests jazz but the ingredients are electronic. It’s impressive enough to pull off something so unorthodox but to do so in a way that manages to summon emotion while simultaneously dropping jaws...that’s a whole new level. New Bodies rejects the need to find a groove, fidgeting and sputtering to a point where it can either unravel or chase a massive crescendo. More often than not, it chooses both. This album flaunts its pace, but the real calling card is the texture, which is product of rattling percussion that manages to stay so varied and complex while providing a sturdy backbone. It shouldn’t be possible to scatter strings, cymbals, beats, and samples so haphazardly onto each track and come out with seven genuine odysseys.

27. Galapagos- Wednesday Campanella

Wednesday Campanella aren’t quite subverting stylistic norms. Galapagos is chock full of drops, albeit interesting ones, and the songs rely on tried-and-tested formulas to drill the melodies in. However, skipping experimentation lets Wednesday Campanella to get straight to the point: unadulterated sonic bliss. Also, please don’t get me wrong. Wednesday Campanella don’t really sound like anyone else, even in the far-reaching, dense world of J-Pop. It’s hard to find any band that is so adamant on cramming this many glistening sounds into their music yet so capable of dodging busyness or being busy in the right way. Yet, for a group that does so much, it’s wild that they manage to have each element crafted with precision, whether it be a glittery synth sound shooting out of a vibe that would have never have called for it, or the vocals, which are always so high up in the mix that each breath is magnified. Sure, it’s not the most uncanny, but Wednesday Campanella stay surprising you with their audacious choices.

26. Room 25- Noname

Room 25 is birthed out of an entirely new set of circumstances. While Telefone was a Chicago album through-and-through, Room 25's namesake comes from the geographic ambiguity of two years spent living on the road. She sums it up nicely on "With You" where she raps "shared my life on Telefone, room 25 and 306, and 809 became my home.” Being thrown into the cutthroat touring process for two whole years is a unique and inherently transformative experience, and Room 25 captures this transformation in all its push-pull nuance, without sacrificing Noname's sharp eye for her surroundings. In this sense, Room 25 is excitingly personal. In the past, Noname the character has taken a passenger seat to Noname the narrator. Now she opens things up and focuses on her journey, and there's a lot of growth to be exhibited. It's an album with purpose, a moving snapshot of a coming-of-age worthy of all this great music.

Yet, for all the personality and reflection that comes out on Room 25, Noname's eloquent observations make for some of the stickiest moments on this album. When she ponders the hypocrisy of eating Chick-Fil-A "in the shadows" on ‘Blaxploitation’, she doesn't do so with a stern finger-wag but an onomatopoeic overcoming of sensation -- "mmm, yummy, tasty" -- kickstarting a flow that unwinds with her confronting the "thinkpiece" nature of her music head-on. However, these songs aren't thinkpieces. These are acute contemplations from someone with a lot to chew on. Room 25 sees a brilliant writer finding her outlet, taking in the world around her, and spinning it into her own extraordinary web.

25. Safe in the Hands of Love- Yves Tumor

Yves Tumor never seemed interested in stepping out of his mystery bag approach to making albums, mixing 8-minute long exercises in ambient noise with simple, concise soul jams. However, nothing he ever tries is derivative. Safe in the Hands of Love has too much distorted screaming to be labelled his crossover lunge, but now he seems ready to take his sonic ingenuity and apply it to something less abstract. Maybe that’s what happens when you get picked up by Warp, or maybe that’s just what Yves Tumor was planning this whole time. Either way, it doesn’t sound like any compromises are being made. Even the more anthemic songs like ‘Noid’ or ‘Lifetime’ reek of despair and restlessness, and the orchestral overtones that give the tracks their oomph aren’t exactly inviting either. More electronic tracks like ‘All the Love We Have Now’ and ‘Economy of Freedom’ are nods to past successes, but for all their electrifying grooviness, they embrace the same menacing grandiosity. The notion that nothing is off the table is all these songs abide to. Either way, these are some of his best.

24. OIL OF EVERY PEARL’S UN-INSIDES- Sophie

Sophie never seemed that interested in feeding into the consumerism celebration/critique/caricature her PC Music contemporaries so loudly owned. For every robotic bubblegum pop hook she crafted there was an avalanche of emotion bubbling underneath. OIL takes that emotion and puts it front and center, revealing the dynamic human behind the once elusive machine. Sophie is no longer milking the hyper-synth + squeaky balloon + pots & pans combo into oblivion, but when it shows up here, it’s stronger than ever. ‘Ponyboy’ and ‘Faceshopping’ make previous career highs feel staticy, and there is now a lot more space and fluidity in Sophie’s barrage of beats. While these tracks will pounce on you, the real glory emerges in the most fully-formed moments of Sophie’s career. ‘It’s Okay to Cry’ will wind you with its earnest sensitivity, ‘Is It Cold in the Water?’ is built off a synthline that is borderline heavenly, and ‘Immaterial’ illustrates her identity with elegance that can only be described as career-defining. Music can be a lot of things, but at its very best it is an outlet to channel your truest self. OIL epitomizes this phenomenon, amping up the excitement as Sophie continues to explore.

23. The Smoke- Lolina

When you first hear the tuneless, off-kilter wobble of The Smoke, it becomes clear pretty fast that this album isn’t that interested in sounding “good.” Inga Copeland sounds detached from the music, her voice approaching a mumbling groan while the plodding keyboards and beats don’t sound especially happy to be there. It’s about nothing, it feels nothing, and it doesn’t want you to feel anything either. But, *surprise*surprise*, it’s fascinating. Unlike her close collaborator Dean Blunt, Copeland doesn’t rely on confusion to make the gag work but uses it to carve out a world for her tracks to awkwardly flourish. The first two songs are basically weed out tracks, testing even those most committed to adventure. Once you’re sucked in, the real drama goes down. The husting, solemn ‘The River’ has such a firm grasp on its momentum it practically feels like a set up. The next two songs are particularly stunning, stepping outside of the pervasive flatness to embrace something far more delicate. It’s hard to find an album that rejects aesthetics so much but transcends being just kinda interesting. In that respect, The Smoke is a rare success.

22. Veteran- JPEGMAFIA

Peggy comes close to wearing out his welcome a few times on Veteran. Instead, he just exasperates you, like a jester who bites and claws before he scampers away. It’s hard to even know where to begin with his music, but the elevator pitch is in the instrumentals. They frequently tease you with stomach-churning samples that seem borderline impossible to turn into a beat until they hit their stride and become obvious. On ‘Real Nega’, it’s a guttural sample of Ol’ Dirty Bastard croaking and on ‘Baby I’m Bleeding’ it’s a echoey computer crash of a stutter that paces around for a whole minute before turning into the banger it is.

JPEGMAFIA ensures that listening to him is like tripping down an Internet rabbit hole, issuing somewhat agreeable hot takes about how Morrissey/Tom Araya/Varg deserve to die, how Pitchfork supports abusers (until it wasn’t cool), and...well...how he wants a bitch with long hair like Myke C-Town. He toes the line between sheer abrasion and accessibility, and the songs that do this best (‘Thug Tears’, ‘Macaulay Culkin’) seem destined for crossover success, because when he’s not hollering, he can sing about as well as anyone in Brockhampton. However, the most exciting thing is the notion that Peggy is a rapper who reflects music meme culture as much as he is a product of it, erasing the wall between the lurkers on 4chan and the artists they stan. #Edgy? Definitely, but I dare you to turn it off.

21. Joonya Spirit- Jaala

The most notable quotable I have read from Jaala is that the 4/4 time signature can go “fuck a dead donkey.” You’d think such a blatant contrarian might try a bit too hard to hit you with compositional gymnastics, and while there’s definitely some of that on Joonya Spirit, there’s a lot more passion. It’s rare to see something this proggy get caught up in such visceral vulnerability, with songs that confront anguish as the snide beast it is. One song has Cosmia Pay drained, wound up after being pet “like a dog.” Another takes the bare facts of a break-up and transforms them into a swaying hook. But between these outbursts, Jaala try to find the most convoluted way from A to B, constructing a self-imposed obstacle course. The journey bears gifts, to say the very least. While this can be a hard album to track, it’s elevated by an understanding of how to make the most out of its detours, with the complexity becoming a tool rather than a distraction.

20. Cocoon Crush- Objekt

Electronic music is progressing so that the machine engages in a tug-of-war with the human. Some artists even use their platform to pitch a manifesto where there’s no reason humans should make better music than artificial intelligence. It’s a valid point, but it undervalues a virtuosic understanding of sound as a sensory experience, as if an algorithm can spew out music that is meticulously crafted to make you feel. Texture isn’t all it takes, but when Objekt’s music spreads itself out like the satisfying percussive ASMR it is, I nut. It’s not like his music is milking its benevolence, but it brims with life. The callbacks, the vividness, the rattling fiber...it’s designed to evoke. As an album that fully appreciates the artistic potential of technology, Cocoon Crush rejects techno’s anatomy and builds its own habitat.

19. The Wolf of Grape Street/God Level- 03 Greedo

It’s much easier to think of 03 Greedo’s output as this flurry of spontaneity, surfacing in eagerly explored ideas and a landslide of hard work and charm. Nobody has earned his spot on this list more than 03, an eager poet who packs all the turmoil he’s ever experienced into each nasally, autotuned whine. He’s also shockingly talented. Amidst the nearly 50 songs on these two projects, which are admittedly super bloated, there are really only a few duds, all of which suffer on the basis of being undercooked, not misguided. What makes up for it even more is the notion that the excess is probably the point. Greedo makes bangers that range from the devastated (‘Prayer From My Lost’) to the needy (‘Bacc to Jail’) to the combative (‘Basehead’) to the absolutely savage (‘Run For Your Life’).

It’s all infectious enough to shock you with its productivity, and that’s probably for good reason. Shortly before God Level was released, Greedo was sentenced to a maximum of 20 years in jail. It was technically on gun and drug charges, but it felt like he fell victim of a system that always put him last. Seeing him pour his heart out so urgently can only tug at the heartstrings.

18. Double Negative- Low

Not gonna lie, I would have never put my money on Low to craft an album that sounds so ahead of its time. Maybe I was ignorant...when you spend your whole career being the face of your own niche, especially one as fragile and poignant as slowcore, you can only waltz towards perfection. Double Negative may be just that. It’s ambitious, creating most of its backbones from waves of static. But how the fuck do you sound so relevant after years of sounding so worn down? Where did this need to deeply innovate and challenge come from? Whatever they did, Double Negative discovers a whole new language within its glitches.

Low have completely overhauled their sound, but only emphasized their essence. The vocals cast themselves like heavenly beams of light onto these suffocating drones, the type of clash that is built to overwhelm. Double Negative takes strokes of such vehement abrasion and tweaks them until they sound exquisite. It’s hard to find an album so unique yet so logical, obscurely branching off from an exhausted genre towards a practically euphoric display of textural understanding.

17. Compro- Skee Mask

It’s not easy to penetrate the traditional IDM canon these days, especially now that Aphex Twin is still active, but fuck me if Compro doesn’t try. This doesn’t position itself as one for the purists; instead it’s a confident progression of an age-old form, an album that knows what ingredients make this experimental techno shit work, but has no interest in indulging. A Skee Mask song will set itself up with a gravity-shaking rhythm that bulges with enough texture so that when a groove comes to nest, it is punctured and complex, even if its beauty comes in conventional forms. The twinkle of the melody on ‘Rev8617’ or the icy, distant synth on ‘Soundboy Ext.’ are cast over ripples and breakbeats. It doesn’t feel like he’s creating a juxtaposition as much as he is balancing these sounds out, as if their splendor is highlighted with containment.

16. Cold Devil- Drakeo the Ruler

It shouldn’t surprise you that someone who has been taken to task by law enforcement based on the perceived authenticity of his lyrics prides himself on his intensity. It’s hard to keep up a shtick for this long, rambling about apparently miscellaneous characters like Mr. Mosley and Pippi Longstocking, while never forgetting to underline how you have your dick out like a “pedophile” or how you’ve been strangling snakes and you bathe with the apes. All the while, you end pretty much each track with a minute-long tirade where you take in your surroundings. It’s a lot, but for an album of seemingly low-stakes shit-talking, Cold Devil packs a ton of depth.

Crafted during an 11-month jail stint, Cold Devil projects the charisma, isolation, and precision that can only arise from such introspective circumstances. Yet, while tapped into ultra-realism, the most captivating part of sees Drakeo’s imagination running wild. It’s like he used the time to construct his own emotional lexicon, and while it’s the type of bogged-up conceptualism that you can’t really articulate, he’ll be fucked if he doesn’t try. What comes out is a whirlwind of ideas, each flourishing, albeit concisely, through a swamp of imagery and excellent rapping. Anyone who views this as a confession must be kidding themselves; it’s a vivacious expression that even the most observant couldn’t untangle.

15. You Won’t Get What You Want- Daughters

Anger, despair, dejection...these are all emotions that might sound contrived, especially in a context where they’re almost taken as given (*cough*cough*noise rock*cough). Fortunately, nothing feels fake about Daughters. Spreading their wings after eight years of silence, You Won’t Get What You Want sounds like the pinnacle of a decade of anguish rolled up into a ball and fattened up to sound as big as possible. You’ll notice a few things right off the bat: the drums sounds massive, the vocals are almost always approaching a scream, and every instrument seems to have the color tuned out of it. Daughters play like they are making themselves dizzy, launching into climaxes with brute force. Yet for all its density, it’s a wonder how music this outwardly menacing can transcend the bluntness of its elements to become somewhat inviting. That being said, there is nothing wholesome about the darkness that dominates this record, but Daughters make sure to tweak their pain into the most suffocating beast they can so that it’s almost conventionally beautiful. It’s hard to find a record that executes its niche so perfectly, an ambience that can only be approached after years of marinating in your ache.

14. Some Rap Songs- Earl Sweatshirt

It makes perfect sense to make music that sounds like what your friends’ make, but when the long-awaited Earl Sweatshirt album came out sounding like a logical follow-up to MIKE’s recently released Renaissance Man more than the sequel to I Don’t Like Shit I Don’t Go Outside, it was a little confusing. However much Earl may drown in his modesty and aggressively try to understate the potency of his music, his brand of cooped-up gloom comes with a midas touch. It’s hard to say whether Earl was hard at work for these past three years, or whether he spun out these 15 vignettes in a stroke of manic genius, but it doesn’t really matter either way. They’re here and it’s captivating as fuck.

Earl the operation is an outlet for Thebe the person, who is still easing himself into stability after an adolescence where he became something of a martyr to millions of kids (#FREE EARL). Of course, this is punctuated by the death of his estranged poet father, a disconnect that Earl has always struggled to grapple with. However, Some Rap Songs is wary of romanticising anything for the sake of a narrative. Instead, it jumps from dusty beat to dusty beat, a flurry of understatements that rarely stay around for longer than two minutes. Earl has always been eager to find his niche after a couple of regrettable teenage choices that risked contaminating his artistry. Even if the inspiration he takes is obvious, his energy can’t be channelled by anyone else.

13. The Whole Thing Is Just There- Young Jesus

For a band who could easily be described as a “philosophy bro jam band,” Young Jesus make it pretty easy for you to like them. This is a controlled exercise in pensive, intellectual emo, an album hellbent on making sure each groove throbs like it’s had its young recently ripped from its arms. The riffs don’t emerge as hooks but rather weave themselves through tunnels, fueling each crescendo. At the apex of it all is a shuddering plea for attention. Young Jesus channel the same catharsis as the emo revivalist except they don’t take the easy way out; their forte is their creativity and their pulse is their sensitivity.

All six songs here manage to fit in both moments of anthemic infection and utter disarray (the glorious kind). The segments that accentuate this album are defined by their space and tenderness, taking poignant philosophical observations and highlighting their consequence with emotional outbursts. It takes a style bent on nostalgia and pushes into an entirely new place, a feat that very few artists can pull off, especially with such volume and precision.

12. Have fun- Smerz

Smerz are like if an artist with talent, charisma, and pop smarts was approaching a fork in the road where they could pursue Top 40 glory or use their resources to lead the vanguard and make challenging, deconstructive electronic music. Guess which one they choose? The melodies that soar over the gritty, distorted beats could have been lifted from the bridge of a #1 R&B hit. Instead, they are spread over a tattered landscape, like a safari where you’re not gawking at animals but taking in an exhibit of quirky synth sounds and samples of speech that sound like they are lifted from a 3 AM drunk voicemail.

Have fun bounces between ethereal dizziness and stark percussive minimalism, but when the two combine, it’s a goosebump-inducing juxtaposition. Floating above the instrumentals-- which honestly could have been released on their own and still have made the lower-end of this list-- is either a deadpan cheerleader chant or a fluttering vocal harmony. Whatever Smerz do, they can’t stop creating music that the words “haunting” and “hypnotic” must’ve been invented to describe. They construct such an exclusive bubble where experimental techno and pop intersect, a fusion that needed to happen, that other artists have tried to do and came-out contrived. It pulsates with mystery, which is funny because most of these songs are about getting fucked up or, as Smerz would put it themselves, “basic bitch problems.” Their ominous gaze turns this charm into a manifesto. And why shouldn’t it? Music this serious yet unpretentious is a rare delight.

11. Honey- Robyn

Everything Robyn does, she does with conviction. She’ll look back on the empty spaces her lover has left behind without fearing her resentment. She’ll invite you to a beach party with casual assurance (“come thru, it’ll be cool”), but boldly winks to suggest that it might be the most transcendental night ever. She’ll demand forgiveness without begging for it, embracing submissiveness while knowing the absurdity of her demands. Is forgiveness even real? Is nostalgia hollow? Is it OK to be heartbroken? These are the types of issues Robyn deals with on Honey, an album that packs eight years of growth into 40 minutes, as if Robyn has been contemplating the scope of her influence and brainstorming the next best step.

Of course, Honey isn’t that calculated. It’s a record of audacious sensitivity, dissecting the simplest phenomena and matching them up with the perfect backdrops. The sex song (‘Between The Lines’) skips with a seductive sway, like a lab-constructed aphrodisiac. The club song (‘Beach 2k10’) is an anomaly, but walks with the confidence of a nightlife staple. However, the best tracks are the most fully-formed, tracks like ‘Honey’ and ‘Human Being’ feel like quintessential Robyn on steroids. It’s astonishing how good she is at this, and even when the record treads new water with suave, captivating disco cuts, Robyn owns whatever space she’s in.

10. Vibras- J Balvin

J Balvin is not the most emotive, distinctive, eccentric reggaeton artist, nor does he have the best voice or the most dominating presence. But he might be the most ambitious, and the most adept at making effortless smash hits, a thing he does on Vibras pretty much every time he tries. In a world where the top tier of Urbano Latino can get billions of views on YouTube and compete internationally with the biggest American superstars, J Balvin is the artist most excited to lead the movement, the most well-versed in its potential.

As the title suggests, Vibras is a record of concrete vibes. J Balvin is aware that a lot of his listeners will not go through the trouble of translating his lyrics, so he makes sure that even people who didn’t take Spanish in high school will grasp what he’s trying to do. All you need to know about ‘Mi Gente’ is found in the now-iconic stuttering vocal sample that starts the song, and the crux of ‘Cuando Tú Quieras’ is a similar sample being flipped into something sultry and seductive, functioning at just as high a level. Vibras seems masterfully curated, even if lots of the songs are anomalies. However, these anomalies don’t just stand out but elevate the power of the straighter, simpler reggaeton songs. ‘En Mí’ is a lovelorn ballad, ‘Brillo’ finds an unlikely pairing with ROSALÍA, who is at the peak of her melodic prowess, and ‘Machika’ ends the album with an almost overly lit EDM crossover. Everything works and it’s wonderful.

9. Bark Your Head Off, Dog- Hop Along

When Frances Quinlan unleashes her raspy, crackling yelp, you know important shit is about to go down. Hop Along have always specialized in a very particular type of drama. They have a penchant for telling stories with a candor that makes it feel like you’re eavesdropping, like you’ve stumbled upon a goldmine of gossip that you shouldn’t be hearing but are far too morbidly curious to plug your ears. The juiciness can come in the form of bureaucratic academia scandals, sexual overtones in the Bible, or the ever-so-relatable struggle of watching Watership Down expecting a kid’s movie, but observing a bloody festival of rabbit slaughter instead. The twists and turns are spot-on and frequently hilarious. If Bark Your Head Off, Dog’s ideas were expanded into prose, it would be a top-tier collection of short stories.

Amidst all the motifs surface nine expertly crafted rock songs that worm around with the utmost purpose, with each chorus/bridge/coda packing enough zest to fuel the whole track. Quinlan’s grip on these melodies is first-rate, as if she’s being swept up by something bigger yet going to painstaking lengths to ensure every tonal phase is spot-on. Bark Your Head Off, Dog is consistent to the point of near-perfection. It doesn’t take long for it to sink in that every song is a highlight, a beacon of emotion that capitalizes on every glimmer of melodic brilliance. Yet somehow, it’s impossible to predict where these songs will go. Often, strings or screams will emerge from out of nowhere, other times are doused in pure, saccharine pop music. Hop Along have mastered spontaneity to the point where nothing feels tacked on. There are so many dimensions to their sounds/stories that you’ll unpack something new with each listen.

8. Nothing Is Still- Leon Vynehall

Leon Vynehall is a practical musician. His last album was, literally, “designed to dance”; a myriad of songs at a streamlined, club-ready BPM that progressed with the pace of a night out. His fascination with multi-dimensionality in house music is abundantly clear. He’s always going to find a new way to be inventive, always ready with a brand new purpose.

Nothing Is Still tests house music’s limits with biography, each song representing a “chapter” or “footnote” in the life of Vynehall’s grandparents, particularly their emigration from England to New York City in the 1960s. Of course, this music is instrumental, so the introspection is all atmospheric, a hard thing to pull off. Thankfully, Vynehall comes up with some sky-scraping, impassioned music, channelling something very vivid. The ambient pieces on this album are textured and passionate. They must be immediate illustrations of the flood of emotion Vynehall experienced in the wake of his grandfather’s death, when he was fully gripped by the narrative, and decided to go down the rabbit hole. It’s oddly tangible, and even without the backstory, the distant grooves on this album could overwhelm you. It’s a bold feat to try and soundtrack something you didn’t directly experience, but the emotional depth packed in this electronic period piece can only be the result of extensive research and nights of curious catharsis. Taking your craft seriously is one thing; creating a record that brims with such sensitivity and personal importance without saying a single word is something else.

7. Harutosyura- Harunemuri

Whatever is being fused on Harutosyura, whether it be pop-punk and rap or hardcore and electronica, yields intense results. It’s not your standard foray into J-pop; Harunemuri are sure to make compact bubbles that writhe and spin before they burst, leaving behind a barrage of glitzy choruses and whines that sound like they’re at the end of an exhausting a potentially lethal chase. It’s chaos, but it’s also rich and entirely unique. Some songs will wear out a stunning riff before collapsing in a fit of aggression; others prefer to reach a screeching halt out of nowhere, only to come back stronger than ever to provide a new angle on their beauty. They will confuse you with the effortless strides they hit, especially because they sound like they are trying to cram every emotion they’ve ever experienced into one note. It’s too dramatic not to be entertaining and too action-packed not to constantly revisit. Even the most animated could only dream of channelling the flux of Harutosyura.

6. A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships- The 1975

It’s been steady growth for The 1975. In their early days, they were a subtly good indie-rock boy band who mostly sang songs designed to get teenage girls a bit too excited. I probably hated them without having heard any of their stuff. Then, they became this overly ambitious 80s glam-rock monster, packing many standard pop bops on their sophomore album, but filling the space between them with tracks that sounded like shoegaze/post-rock/gospel parody (to be clear, I thought it was brilliant). Now, they are one of the most outspoken, monumental bands of our generation, still silly, but absolutely drowning in good ideas. Without hyperbole, I think they are the most exciting thing to happen to the band format in a long time.

Their main thing is that they do the most. Even when the pleasures are simple, Matt Healy is yelling a bit too close to your ear, throwing out commentary that masquerades as ill-fitting until you realize it’s actually super clever and eloquent. The main draw, however, is how every time they turn the page, they land on a song that immediately traps you. Additionally, all these ideas are fresh and essential. The centerpoint is ‘Love It If We Made It’, a tabloid-esque collage of cultural commentary that woos you with its timeliness as Healy throws his entire voice towards a scream of “modernity has failed us!” The rest of the singles range from the best 80s-movie pool party throwback of the year, a rainbow of soothing horns and romantic ennui, a finger-wagging burst of 29-year old wisdom, and a smugly confused radio song. Deeper in the album lie cautionary tales on Internet death told by a robot, Bon Iver-ian swaths of autotuned warbling transformed into high-tier experimental techno, a nocturnal barroom jazz track...I could go on like this for paragraphs lol. The point is, everything they try works and everything that works sticks with you. For an album where a bunch of millenials spend an hour obsessing over the “digital age,” A Brief Inquiry has too much charm.

5. Knock Knock- DJ Koze

If I have to hear someone call DJ Koze some variation of “house music’s biggest prankster” again, I swear to god (haha). I know he can be pretty goofy, and there are many moments on Knock Knock that project this goofiness. Some of the vocal samples (“I need a little light here!”, “I know the future better than you know the past”) are kitsch for sure, but there is no understating this man’s profound talent. He will find a sample, find another sample, and mix the two into something hypnotic. I don’t know if he stumbles upon these grooves or if they are vastly premeditated through some process where he hears an old record, his ears perk up and, poof, a full-fledged house banger surfaces in his mind. He’s always been willing to push the envelope, but on Knock Knock he fully embraces his versatility and distinctiveness. Even the most random sounds he throws into the blender make absolute sense in the sugary, hyper-charged context they’re presented.

Not all of this will sink in quickly, but there are some clear hard-hitters. ‘Pick Up’ floods into the mix like a warm embrace from a long-lost friend, creating a vibe that could and should continue forever. Yet all it does is chop up two 70s soul songs and loop them into oblivion, carrying such a heavy emotional load while staying relatively stagnant. The fat, throbbing bassline on ‘Bonfire’ makes Justin Vernon sound dreamier than he ever has before. ‘Illumination’ is a steady build to an ultimately glorious release, a masterclass in the sly emergence of its drop. It’s all so glistening and nostalgic. There’s sniffs of rap, folk, R&B, techno but none of the paths diverge from the cohesive sonic wonderland. Some prank lol.

4. Aviary- Julia Holter

When do you decide to make your magnum opus? How do you figure out that, after your most accessible album and a whole decade of building your own distinctive take on baroque, your next project would be 90 minutes of the densest, most sonically ambitious music you’ve ever released? Aviary is the type of album you wouldn’t want to put out until you are totally ready. Thankfully, Holter has every reason to be confident in her abilities. She knows when to sustain a wall of noise and when to interject with a mutter or an instrumental collapse. She knows how to pile reverb-drenched choirs onto light orchestration and how to let her voice soar while maintaining the necessary space. To pull off a sprawling, abstract project like this, you need to be some kind of genius. I don’t use that word lightly.

Aviary is meditative. Crammed with songs that linger for as long as they do without hitting a conventional stride, the dynamism is contagious. You genuinely have no idea where each song will go and there is such an abundance of feeling that it’s practically impossible to take it all in. It’s a world that you can untangle, plowing deeper and deeper into it and getting lost in the spectacle. At one moment it’s stressful, and in the next, it’s meditative. The declarations are profound. It’s a rejection of cynicism, and a full-fledged embrace of the simplest, most overpowering emotions, taking pride in the capacity to be swept away. Have you ever fallen in love? Sometimes love can be bitter and toxic, but other times, it is something worthy of a welcome parade, something that will make you loudly weep while you’re clutching onto it. That’s the scope of Aviary, a record that has no qualms about melting into gibberish, as long as it is fully evocative.

3. Be the Cowboy- Mitski

Mitski writes songs with such a penetrating, inhospitable gaze that she practically begs you to feel uncomfortable, even if she radiates warmth and empathy. She’ll come thru with a track about how much she loves her non-existent husband, how for all of eternity it will just be the two of them together, how they are doing better...it goes on until you’re pressed to think it’s a joke, but if it is, then why are you on the verge of tears? Then you sit, ponder, and start considering what it means to “be the cowboy.” Is cowboy swagger one that swoops in on a literal horse, becomes an all-or-nothing imposition of hyper-dominance, and carries itself like it’s the only thing that matters? Or is the one that takes you to a diner after years of silence, Blue Diner to be precise, and suffocates you with a lull while quietly reminding you that it will always keep a part of you? Vulnerability is Mitski’s forte. Whether it’s cloaked in sarcasm, painfully earnest, or deeply internalized, hers is a narrative so potent that you can’t help but unload all your emotional burdens alongside it.

Be the Cowboy is the moment when you’ve revealed so much about yourself to someone that for a second, it’s actually terrifying how quickly and easily they could undermine your whole existence. It’s naked but unconcerned, taking pride in its ability to crumble. Somehow, there’s nothing forced about the painstaking introspection; Mitski is fully committed to baring her soul without simplifying it or suffocating in self-righteousness. It’s equal parts defensive and dejected. You can only be reminded about the impossibility of idealization so much before you start to get confused. But when it’s as outrageous and tortured as this, it stops being a statement and becomes a full-fledged celebration. It painful to to watch, but it hurts even more to turn away.

2. El Mal Querer- Rosalía

Sometimes an album comes along feeling like such a pinnacle of a movement while deifying any categorization. It’s like Rosalía as a concept has been around forever, taking in influence from so many times and places and feelings...but nothing has ever really sounded like this. “Flamenco-pop” is a feeble label for something that so frequently whirls into a trance, belting out unhinged cries of fervor and then, on the next song, lifting a melody from Justin Timberlake. It’s like everything is being re-contextualized on here, and the result is a record that exists in its own time and space, refusing to branch out in favor of planting its own garden.

Rosalía lives for melodrama, which could be cloying if she didn’t justify it so well. It’s like her voice is always on the cusp of breaking out into a 30-second howl, which holds even when she coos a top nothing but a faint drum or a car engine noise. It takes a deep appreciation of your culture and history to be able to sound so universal without simply pining for an older vibe. Rosalía is constantly finding a way to go beyond that, subtly slipping autotune into a crevice that traditionalists would leave uncontaminated, developing sticky hooks without basing the whole song around them. When your core is a developed movement like flamenco but your crowd is the Spanish mainstream, you need more than a pinch of experimentation. El Mal Querer goes beyond that, not leaving any strand of its influences unexplored. Rosalía examines the age-old beauty of the form from every angle she can, shaking it up and seeing how it explodes.

1. Die Lit- Playboi Carti

What does it take to be the album of the year? Well...clearly not lyrical substance, or curt editing, or biting social commentary. The prerequisites for quality are getting harder and harder to pin down. All I know is that Die Lit feels like the album that all the over-saturated glut was building up to/the culmination of the ideas set forth by boundary pushers like Future or Young Thug/the logical conclusion to the intersection between lean-soaked hedonism and fine art. Don’t quote me, but we might not do any better than this. At the end of the bloated tunnel, there’s Playboi Carti squawking into oblivion, deconstructing the style that birthed him over beats that could’ve been produced by, like, Oneohtrix Point Never or Ricky Eat Acid or something.

Playboi Carti is a trailblazer. The most common critique of him is that “all he does is ad-libs, he honestly can’t even rap, and what’s good with all that autotune?” Back to my point about this being the logical conclusion of trap; removing the filler between the ad-libs is a fucking genius idea, an assured embrace of what you do best. I mean, imagine if Migos just went “uhh!” and “mama!” and didn’t have Quavo’s uninspired autotune weighing them down...it happens sometimes, and it’s beautiful. Carti’s ad-libs can be as simple as “what?” or “bih!”, and they are usually presented like a highly calculated flick of emotion, like the mechanics for a precise accentuism. Plenty of guests show up on Die Lit, and none of them have any trouble carving a space in Carti’s world. This makes sense when it’s Thugger or Travis Scott, but it is especially potent when it’s Nicki Minaj and Bryson Tiller, people who rarely delve into this type of experimentation on their own. Carti is so infectious that everyone is eager to step in his space and explore how they can dismantle their own form.

All of it is a daring experiment, especially in the moments where Carti tests the limits of his style, seeing how long he can hold the silence before getting swept into a verse, measuring how layered his voice can get before it crumbles and melts. Give Carti credit where credit is due, but Die Lit would be nothing without its producers, especially Pierre Bourne, who constructs a hazy, awe-inspiring fever dream whenever he hops behind the boards. Not only does this steer hip-hop into the direction it needed to go; it takes notes from the masters of ambient techno, blending snippets of overwhelming synths or vocals into beats that any lesser rapper would have no idea how to ride. When you’re on the forefront of the most widely consumed genre, it’s a lot of responsibility. Die Lit is one of the most forward-thinking statements in the hip-hop yet. At this point, Carti and his team are incapable of producing a song that doesn’t test boundaries or warp seasoned assumptions about what works.

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theoriesontheory · 3 years

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The Making of - ‘Disney’s Hyperfantasia’ - Sal Viejo

How do you (or I) write a cathartic song? The more I look at this question the more it becomes increasingly simple and complicated in my mind. On one hand, I know how to do it. I’ve done it for three years as Sal Viejo, listened to cathartic music from other bands and watched performances that sent waves of catharsis through the room. You just do it. On the other hand, saying “you (or I) just do it” is an answer that is unsatisfying, and I know that there have been times where I have been unable to write a cathartic song where the advice “just do it” would have sent me into a rage. So, I decided to write a cathartic song, as I have done before but this time, using autoethnographic research methods, explore my process not only documenting what I was doing but reflecting on the parts of my real life that went into the song.

Catharsis as a feeling is difficult to define, especially from an academic perspective. An interesting note from some of my reading into music therapy is that the music we listen to shapes our lives and experience. (Barnes, 2013) Continuing from this idea, Barnes points out a case where a neuropsychologist was struggling down the side of a mountain with a broken leg and eleviated some of the mental strain and pain by focusing on a song. (ibid.) Looking specifically for references to catharsis I found an explanation of the phenomenon in a film text, “Catharsis is Aristotle’s term for the experience of audiences at the end of tragedy – overwhelming feelings of sorrow, pity, or some other strong emotions caused by the representation of tragic and piteous events… Aristotle and most of his commentators agree that catharsis, whatever it is, occurs to the beneficial effect of the audience.” (Plantinga, 2009) I feel that mainstream media has changed the meaning of the cathartic experience, in that rather than leaving stories on tragic endings, the trend is to send the crowd home happy. There has been a trend in media to end stories on more tragic notes recently, in my view closer to how things end in real life, Breaking Bad is a great recent example. Tying the two ideas together now, when looking for information on catharsis through music, there proved to be some gaps in the literature. There are discussions of how works have been performed in contexts that have made them cathartic, (Ansari, 2013) how communities use musicking to cope with their economic and social stresses (Stamatis, 2015) and even how music is being used in physiotherapy sessions, showing the role of psychology in pain treatment and management. (le Roux, 1998) My approach to this question hinges on creating a song that provides some level of catharsis, either for me or the listener. Despite my reading, coming to a clear and understood definition of catharsis seems difficult and thus, I think it makes sense to g to the original, Aristotelian definition as provided by Plantinga, overwhelming feelings at the end of a tragedy.

My understanding of autoethnography as a research method comes from some time considering it in the course of my honours and masters study up to this point. One of the core elements that draws me to it is my understanding that at the core of the research is the individual and their creative work (in the context of creative autoethnographic projects). Adams, Jones and Elis describe autoethnography as practice that; uses a researchers personal experience in describing and critiquing culture, acknowledges and values the reasearchers relationships, uses reflexivity – reflecting on the way the individual interacts with the world, shows “people in the process of figuring out what to do, how to live, and the meaning of their struggles”, balances emotional and intellectual work and strives to make the world better. (2014)

I was inspired to write in this way by David Carless whose paper Throughness was the first autoethnographic study of song writing that I came across. In reviewing the literature there were many papers focused on performance or composition of art music pieces but when looking for contemporary song writing used as autoethnography the field was sparse. In this paper Carless asks many of the same questions I face myself,

“How do we write songs as qualitative research? What kinds of processes matter when writing a song? What can we do to support and nurture these processes? What might we draw upon when writing songs about our own or another’s life? And how is it that culture, politics and personal biography can become so powerfully entwined in a song?” (2018)

In answering these questions Carless submits a series of Diary entries that they call a story that details the specific moments where the creation of the song was happening as well as their personal reflection on their own song writing process. In a similar way, I have been drawing from a journal I use specifically to write thoughts I have when I am in a negative mental headspace for lyrics and ideas and building songs up around them. Unlike Carless’ work, I will be covering not only the song writing process but also the process of cutting together a demo version of the song for release on Bandcamp. In putting together my story I will be including transcriptions of events based on my personal notes and my memory, images from my journal and other writing and personal reflections, some of which will touch on themes of self-harm, depression, and suicide. Please read in a safe mental place and look after yourself. If you need help, please seek it:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 Beyond Blue: 1300224636 Suicide Call Bank Service 1300659467 Process: In late July of 2021 I found myself experimenting with chords in open D after having uploaded a cover of Hot Mulligan’s I Fell in Love with Princess Peach. Open D feels like such a powerful tuning, so easy to get big brash sounds. I have been avoiding writing in alternate tunings because the idea of tuning on stage stresses me out, but I have a show coming up and want to play that Hot Mulligan cover to impress someone I think might be there so to justify the tuning I figured I would try and write another song using it.

I always have way more chords or instrumental parts for songs before I have lyrics. I find that I will often even have a vague melody line that I can hum or make random syllables around while I play the parts on my guitar. I have been trying to just say the first thing that comes to mind, trusting the part of my brain that knows what good lyrics sound like to figure something out under pressure, but I have found this process works best with some stimulation.

My mental health is something I have struggled with, largely in silence for my life, since probably my mid to late teens. I was on medication for a while, it didn’t go so well (see twelve) and since then have been trying to come to terms with my mental health through mindfulness, mediation, and introspection. PLEASE NOTE I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL AND DO NOT ADVISE THIS. GO AND SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP BEFORE UNDERTAKING ANY CHANGES TO MEDICATION OR TREATMENT. One way I have done this is by having a specific journal to write in on nights where I feel I am having particularly negative thoughts, the idea being that when I have these thoughts, I find they tend to circulate inside my head and writing them down is a way that I can get them out of my head. Additionally, it allows me to go back and reflect on the patterns of thinking and try and figure out where they come from. On one night, I’m going to guess late June, early July based on my memory I was having negative thoughts that led me to write down this across two pages

Transcription: Im sick of all my friends being worried.

No matter how hard I try I can’t see what comes next Static the cards the stars everything Static

I wish I could still dream, maybe I could if there was a future to see

Why do I keep seeing myself in a carcrash?

When I drive around at night I think about driving into the side of the road. Not really thinking about it but it just happening. I feel Like I’ve done it. I feel like I am doing it. It’s beautiful, its silent. I am calm. No more thinking.

I DON’T WANT TO DIE YET (the word “breathe” is written five times through the lines underneath the statement)

One day at a time -Next Page- (a crude single line drawing of a sunset over an ocean above the margin)

I clearly need to go talk to someone

Most of the time i feel like I look normal –

Everyone is suffering, its easier to pretend Its harder to tell the people you love youreinpainbecausetheycant… (I can’t read what I wrote) Head feels like static

Trying to fill the noise Beniah knows too

Amy asked if I was doing ok I said yes I don’t think she believes me anymore I hate the Look in their Eyes when they See me Everyone knows youre sick Can’t have them know… (I can’t read what I wrote) I think Im doing ok now

I feel like I am good at adjusting to how I feel. Didn’t go for a drive

Remembering parts of this night I know that I didn’t write all of this at once. The first page was written largely at the same time, the second page in bursts, idea by idea, sometimes writing new ideas in and around older ones, writing more frantically. I feel like there are two stories being told here, on the first page, an internal negative feeling, I have never told anyone about the car thing until releasing this song. The second page, the negative feelings growing and being self-aware about wanting to appear ok around my friends and housemates and feeling that pressure.

So now I had a couple of pages of personal emotional outpourings, some chords that I like the sound of and a quest to make a song cathartic. More important to me than how cathartic the song is, as with all my song writing, is that it was honest so in sorting through my scribblings I wanted to put together an accurate representation of my mind at the time. I first jotted down what felt like the most unique imagery to me, the false memories of being in a car crash and coming to terms with that. I am not sure what it means, but it is scary at times. I thought that because it is such a unique experience that detailing might be an interesting part of the song and thus the pre-chorus and chorus were put together. I had the melody of the chorus on a voice memo on my phone when working on the guitar part and I remember thinking to myself, for such happy chords the melody was lending itself to something almost being howled out, it felt like a question almost. After I had written the pre-chorus and chorus the next thing that felt natural to do was to frame the response to that statement which is the second verse. Reflecting on the pages, a lot of my worries on the second page seemed focused on how my friends and the ones I care about perceive me. I think this is a common feeling for people who struggle with their mental health and something that I am less concerned with when I am not in a negative mental space. The lyricism in the second verse is intentionally a little frantic, I wanted it to mimic in a small way how my mind can jump from idea to idea. I always find opening songs difficult; I think it’s important as a songwriter to have an impactful first few lines, especially in a song that is being made with the intent of an emotional experience in listening to it. I decided to borrow the writing style from some of my favourite US mid-western emo bands who often frame difficult to swallow truths in upbeat melodic phrasing and whimsical turns of phrase. A quite extreme example can be heard on The Front Bottoms’ “Father” which opens with some quite graphic imagery and is about the lead singers strained and complex relationship with his father, but I have seen people cheer and sing and dance along when the song is played live. And so, I decided to be very honest about the background of the feelings, maintaining some semblance of the narrative that I am ok while showing really that I am not, heading into the pre-chorus. The bridge was the last section to come together, both musically and lyrically. The rest of the piece was pretty much put together and being fine polished as far as vocal phrase lengths and how I would play the guitar part. The lyrics for the bridge started as what could have been a verse, describing the images but I decided that the pre-chorus was a more functional way of doing that, introducing the idea in a semi-palatable way. I knew I would close the song with the bridge (potentially put a chorus at the end) and decided to add some weight to the end of the work, almost like a Shakespearian tragedy, everyone dies at the end. I don’t think I make it feel like there is death at the end of the piece but the way I stack the layers of the pre-chorus and bridge sections before cutting right at the end to the first line of the pre-chorus was designed to add to the emotional impact at the end. Initially the guitar part for the bridge was more complex, I wanted to try and show that I was a good guitar player and had been practicing. This led me to retuning the guitar to Open D to come up with a pretty and impressive riff. I had a few ideas but in the context of playing solo and recording a demo I want the core guitar part, the part I play, to be something that I can do while I sing and give an overall engaged performance, which I’m not quite good enough to do with impressive guitar bits yet.

Lyrics: I feel well adjusted, sometimes I feel fine, or I lie which I know I shouldn’t do to my friends But we all pretend, because it’s easier than admitting how scared we are Have I told you about the weird thing that happened the other night in my car?

I’ve been seeing pictures, almost like memories in my head Of me losing control, on the free way And it plays in slow motion And the strangest thing about it to me always is

I don’t scream I don’t scream

I know I worry you, I’m worried too don’t think I want to die yet Look at the sunset, take a deep breath, hold on for one more day I’m ok, that’s what I say but I don’t think you believe me Static on the TV, looks like my tea leaves, Don’t worry about me

I’ve been seeing pictures, almost like memories in my head Of me losing control, on the free way And it plays in slow motion But the strangest thing about it to me always is

I don’t scream I don’t scream I don’t scream I don’t scream

As I watch bumper meet divider, Sparks and metal fly up Into the night sky I wonder how it would feel I wonder how it feels to…

As I watch bumper meet divider, I’ve been seeing pictures, Sparks and metal fly up almost like memories in my head Into the night sky of me losing control I wonder how it would feel on the freeway I wonder how it feels to… And it plays in slow motion But the strangest thing about it to me always is

As I watch bumper meet divider, I don’t Scream Sparks and metal fly up Into the night sky I wonder how it would feel I don’t scream I wonder how it feels to…

I’ve been seeing pictures, almost like memories in my head

Once the song was structured, I began practicing it, getting ready to cut a demo to put out into the world. In practicing it, I found the song easier to engage with on some days rather than other. I make recordings of me playing new songs so I can remember how they go at later dates but also to watch back and think about melodic choices and I found on one particular day while I could technically perform the song ok, I know I had played it better in the past. I have this relationship with most of the Sal Viejo songs that are about hard things from my life. I can perform most of them at the drop of a hat, but I know the performance is better when I am in the right mental place. I find it is a fine balance between being where you were during those hard times, but still able to perform. I feel like ‘Sal Viejo’ almost acts like a mediator sometimes, an outside observer who can sing about these things because they didn’t live through them, they saw them happen.

Heading into the day of recording I was a little stressed. Not only was I recording something still pretty fresh with the intention of sharing it to the world, but I also had just moved, had just gotten out of quarantine due to a secondary covid contact, was working a new job and had lots of uni work to do. I started the day by going and getting a coffee, thinking about the song as I went on my morning walk. My thoughts were mostly about the melody, the chords, the rhythm but also, I was beginning to make some mental adjustments to get me to the place I felt like I needed to be. When I got home, I had the intention of going slowly, setting up at my own pace and warming up but I felt the compulsion to just get it done. I started with guitar tracking, taking a signal from a mic set up near the body of the guitar and a line from the guitar, through an acoustic reverb pedal. It was during the guitar tracking process that I realised I had to simplify the line in the bridge. To get the timing right, I was playing to a metronome and singing to myself to figure out where the chord hits were and realised that I couldn’t actually play the part and sing, making it useless for live shows. After I finished the guitar did a quick mix and took lunch. I decided that I would try some vocals, but I didn’t know how they would go. I started singing and quickly realised that the phrasing would prove difficult and so I would have to punch in some of the sections. I found this really challenging because a part of the emotional engagement with the song comes from singing whole phrases, not just particular lines. What I decided to do was do multiple, full length takes, each one hitting the entrance of a section and cut it together. This meant that I could stay in the right emotional place while performing for recording and worry about the engineering side later. I wanted the mix to be fairly transparent for the demo, wanting people to hear the emotion and the story without too much distraction. I cut the vocals together and did a mix that I felt like let the vocals pierce through enough while still feeling tied to the guitar. There is a charm in the small amounts of string buzz and mic popping in the demo for me, in the mixing process I tried to get rid of some of it but decided that macro level edits would take away some of the human delivery. One decision I did make at this point was editing the lryics. The original lyric in the bridge was, “I wonder how it would feel, I wonder how it feels to die” I thought that the impact of that phrase would be increased if that word was censored, as subtly as possible but in a way that leaves listeners hanging on what the end of the phrase is. There are clues in the rhyming structure and content around it and you can figure it out if you listen to it, also I don’t know that I necessarily want a song in the world where I am explicitly asking what death feels like, I don’t know that I am at that level of openness as a songwriter yet.

In the rush of creative energy, I also cut a DIY, proof of concept music video which I attached the master of the song to which can be watched and heard here.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Sal Viejo (@sal_viejo)

Reflections: Digging into my song writing process has proved an interesting and at times challenging experience. In many ways I think I was fortunate to already have the bones of the song together before I started approaching the writing and making of the song as research as I don’t know that I could have been as honest in my lyricism knowing that I might have to explain where it came from. One observation I made is, through digging through the emotional distress that lies at the heart of this song, I found myself having cathartic emotional responses, forcing myself to consider where my songs come from. Also, as I practiced I found that having the research idea and the goal of catharsis beneficial as I made performance choices. I am unsure whether or not I have definitively answered the question, ‘how does one write a cathartic song?’ But in conducting this autoethnographic study of my process of writing a song with catharsis in mind I think I have answered, here is one way that I can do it.

References:

Adams, T. E., Holman, J. S., & Ellis, C. (2014). Autoethnography. ProQuest Ebook Central

Ansari, E., A. (2013) “Vindication, cleansing, catharsis, hope”: interracial reconciliation and the dilemmas of multiculturalism in Kay and Dorr’s Jubilee (1976). American Music, 31 (4), https://go-gale-com.saeezproxy.idm.oclc.org/ps/retrieve.do?tabID=T002&resultListType=RESULT_LIST&searchResultsType=SingleTab&hitCount=1&searchType=AdvancedSearchForm&currentPosition=1&docId=GALE%7CA401094780&docType=Critical+essay&sort=RELEVANCE&contentSegment=ZEAI-MOD1&prodId=EAIM&pageNum=1&contentSet=GALE%7CA401094780&searchId=R1&userGroupName=saeinstitute&inPS=true

Barnes, H. (Ed.). (2013). Arts activism, education, and therapies : Transforming communities across africa. ProQuest Ebook Central

Carless, D. (2018). “Throughness”: A Story About Songwriting as Auto/Ethnography. Qualitative Inquiry, 24(3), 227–232. https://doi.org/10.1177/1077800417704465

le Roux, F. (1998). Music: A new intergrated model in physiotherapy. South African Journal of Physiotherapy, 54(2), 10-11. doi:https://doi.org/10.4102/sajp.v54i2.593

Plantinga, C. (2009). Moving viewers : American film and the spectator's experience. ProQuest Ebook Central

#CIM406.1 #Creative Inquiry #diy #emo #midwestern emo #music #new music #music video #academia #research #autoethnograophy #australian #canberra #musician #producer #process

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robindluzenwriting · 3 years

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“The MCA Blows It” in Visual Art Source

by Robin Dluzen

Diane Christensen and Jeanne Dunning with Steve Dawson, “Birth Death Breath,”2016, inflatable opera. Installation view, Elmhurst Art Museum, Elmhurst, Illinois "The Long Dream" Museum of Contemporary Art, Chicago, Illinois, continuing through May 2, 2021

Wrapping the corner walls of the entrance to “The Long Dream” at the Museum of Contemporary Art Chicago are the names of the more than 70 local artists exhibiting work in the exhibition. Some of these names belong to my friends and colleagues, and there are others I don’t personally know but greatly admire. Rather than feeling vicariously buoyed by reading these names, and appreciating the institutional recognition of a segment of Chicago’s arts community, I instinctively flinched. It should be noted that I did not come to the MCA on this day in possession of the optimistic curiosity with which I typically approach an exhibition. The MCA and “The Long Dream” are at the center of a labor crisis, as extensively reported by Kerry Cardoza in The Chicago Reader (March 3, 2021). With my facemask and timed-entry ticket, I came to find out what happens to a show, stockpiled with excellent and timely work, when site-specific ethical turmoil takes over as context. My flinch at the threshold of the exhibition was the result of knowing that the artists whose names are on the wall must feel involuntarily complicit in the controversy. The curatorial statement of “The Long Dream” explains that the show, which borrows its title from the Richard Wright novel, highlights artists whose work “offers us ways to imagine a more equitable and interconnected world” — an institutional attempt to acknowledge the revolutionary zeitgeist. That would be all well and good were it not for the fact that MCA staff (organized under the moniker MCAccountable) has been calling on the museum to address its own racism, ableism and poor labor practices, especially in the midst of operating during COVID, only to face layoffs twice — the latest round in January, coinciding with a sickly hypocritical article by MCA Director Madeleine Grynsztein in Art in America (January 22, 2021) bragging about diversity practices at the MCA and how “[w]hen most institutions were furloughing their front-facing employees, we went in the opposite direction.” Cardoza pointed out, however, that “[t]he day prior, the MCA laid off 41 employees.” MCAccountable’s open letters from July 16 and August 21, and one from the artists in “The Long Dream” presented to the Director on March 11 outline the museum’s offenses, and the demands made by the artists and staff.

Some of the artists slated to exhibit in “The Long Dream” — Maria Gaspar, Aram Han Sifuentes, Folayemi Wilson and the For the People Artists Collective — withdrew in protest before the show even opened. Initially, I worried for the artists in “The Long Dream”: that the show’s context had been proven a sham, and subsequently, that powerful work about racial justice, disability activism and LGBTQ+ equity would be grievously undermined. Indeed, the pretense that the museum was in solidarity with these causes was shattered, and an atmosphere of irony, sadness and outrage over the current situation envelops the show. But the convictions within the works reverberate.

Artworks that hinge upon elements of vulnerability thrive in the exhibition’s shifted context. “Birth, Death, Breath,” an installation by Diane Christiansen and Jeanne Dunning with Steve Dawson, features a collection of seasonal, inflatable lawn ornaments: snowmen, ducks dressed in hunting gear, and parts of various animals frankenstein-ed together. All rise and fall as their air supply fluctuates in cadence with original songs. The artists take advantage of how these colorful, smiling forms bob, almost lifelike when filled with air; and the ominous way that they collapse when their supply is cut. Lyrics like “I will not survive / Where am I going / Where will I be” underscore threads of fear and uncertainty — feelings that have become all too familiar, especially during the pandemic when crucial lifelines and livelihoods suddenly became tenuous. While Christiansen and Dunning keep us at a conceptual arms length as we watch a narrative play out, Derrick Woods-Morrow closes the distance between the audience and the work. In “How much does this moment weigh for you?”, the mangled mass of a compressed police car is suspended from a steel frame by chains. The rusted heap no longer bears any resemblance to a Crown Victoria, but the police spotlight, aimed head-height, is unmistakable. In the darkened room, the sudden, blinding light stuns and disarms. Stepping away from the spotlight, it’s easier to focus on the disembodied voices in the room: two men tentatively discussing race, queerness, law enforcement and their shared memories of childhood. Woods-Morrow doesn’t simply tell a story here, he puts us right in the middle of it, both physically and emotionally. The sensation of being in someone else’s shoes takes us one step beyond mere awareness, and closer to understanding.

Amanda Williams, “What black is this you say?—‘You thought getting Obama elected meant you could take a break from blackness’—black (study for 08.09.20),” 2020, watercolor on paper, 7 x 10”

But the piece in “The Long Dream” that resonates the most, in light of the collapse of the exhibition’s original intention, is Amanda Williams’ “What black is this you say?” series of watercolors on paper. Her series began in response to “Blackout Tuesday,” the social media event of June 2, 2020, in which Instagram feeds were flooded with blank, black squares by individuals, institutions and corporations alike, in what everyone thought was solidarity with Black Lives Matter. Quickly, it was realized that these posts stifled the crucial communication that was taking place online with the #blm hashtag, and people everywhere seethed at the superficiality of the gesture. Williams, known for her mastery of color in form and concept, began her own Instagram project that day, coupling abstractions of varying tones and palettes of black with captions that added humanity and individuality to a trend that was otherwise populated with flatness and sameness. The artist translated her posts into the small, intimate paintings seen here. And, with the addition of handwritten inscriptions, such as “I cain’t go swimming today, I just got my hair done black”; “Obama break from blackness black,” they capture the best aspect of social media — the window into someone else’s everyday — while infusing it with the slow-paced contemplation of abstract painting.

A portion of what Williams so adeptly addresses in this work is in close parallel to what is playing out at the MCA and beyond: jumping on the chance to show public solidarity in theory, while continuing to actively harm individuals and disregard their experiences. There have been other major exhibitions in recent years in which artists have withdrawn work in protest of morality issues at the institution. The 2019 Whitney Biennial is one example. But the hypocrisy of “The Long Dream” is particularly explicit. The museum fails on the precise grounds by which the exhibition was conceived. In bringing together 70 artists with the most concrete of convictions, how could this NOT have happened? In hindsight, it seems inevitable that the museum would try, and fail. I checked my Twitter feed on my walk back to the El on the Friday afternoon of my MCA visit. The algorithm brought me Kerry Cardoza’s Tweet from several hours prior: a link to the open letter from the artists, with the announcement that 57 of them would be withdrawing their work from the exhibition. This story is not yet complete. But hopefully what started as an exhibition will be remembered as a sea change, with artists and workers serving as the catalyst.

#visualartsource

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no-zaku-boy · 6 years

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IT’S THAT TIME AGAIN

1:What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? Visited Austria and went to a concert in another country, climbed a (small) mountain, did disaster relief volunteering, played on average more than one video game a month, ate natto (I guess I'm nasty because it wasn't that bad), annnnd was in a BABY/AatP con fashion show.

2:Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I think I did pretty well. I made mostly "keep working on it" type resolutions, and I kept up with most of them. I'll continue this trend for 2018 because it seems to be working well.

3:Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope.

4:Did anyone close to you die? Squeeze. I’m so, so sorry. I wish I’d done better by her, and I wish her last few days had maybe been easier (through the fault only of the vet), but I know she spent most of her years well-loved in a happy home and that she lived a long and good life full of lap pets from an amazing hoomin whom she adored. I may not really believe in a people afterlife, but I sure like to think she’s out there flashing her high beams on the twilight seas of wherever is next for kitties.

5:What countries did you visit? Austria and the Czech Republic.

6:What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? Discipline is always a good answer, and more confidence.

7:What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? It's always moments rather than specific dates. Wasteland Weekend, yet again (probably forever). Despite the fact that I was terribly sick, being in Spokane with my best dudes is easily a major highlight of the year. Seeing Miyavi live and the moment he first started going wild on that guitar.

8:What was your biggest achievement of the year? Gaining more stability. Getting a steady job, engaging even more with things I have always loved like reading and video games and cosplay, and coming to terms with the fact that I shouldn't be trying to play catch up for the time I've lost in order to be impressive to other people and should instead focus on genuinely doing what makes me happy. Yeah.

9:What was your biggest failure? Not pushing myself harder.

10:Did you suffer illness or injury? I was sick as fuck this year, son. It seemed like I was constantly coughing or running a fever or SOMETHING. I'd better not be sick at all in 2018, is2g. I also had that random back injury that really messed with me for almost two weeks. Ugh.

11:What was the best thing you bought? Travel and event expenses, like the last couple years. I'm content with this trend.

12:Whose behaviour merited celebration? A lot of my friends for being kind, generous people who try to make the world better for the people around them and more.

13:Whose behaviour made you appalled? A relatively small number of atrocious customers and everyone involved in/who voted for the people at the center of the circus that is US politics.

14:Where did most of your money go? Travel and living expenses.

15:What did you get really, really, really excited about? Video games and a few potential projects I've been kicking around, travelling both abroad and domestically, Wasteland this year and MAX HYPE for next year, the three or four cosplay groups I got to be part of, and picking up Japanese again more seriously than I've done in years.

16:What song will always remind you of 2017? Ngl, Richard Spencer getting sucker punched to Born in the USA has been running through my head pretty much constantly since January. I also feel like ABBA and Neil Cici have really dominated this year for me.

17:Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? Happier, maybe slightly thinner, poorer.

18:What do you wish you’d done more of? Studying and putting myself out there. I also wish I'd spent more time acting with authenticity rather than being concerned with external pressures (for instance, wanting recognition and, as a result, wondering if my actions are merely performative even if they do have some practical effect, or at times choosing comfort over conviction). I know I'm being hard on myself here, but in 2018 I'd like to Do More and Do Better. (And yeah, I'd like to have it be noticed, I'm only human, but I'd also like to work on caring less about that, too.)

19:What do you wish you’d done less of? Worrying and wasting time.

20:How did you spend Christmas? With family and friends, playing games, getting weird (still not sure where some of these bruises came from), and having good food, good conversation, and a good drive. <3

21:Did you fall in love in 2017? Here and there~

22:What was your favourite TV program? Of the new-to-me things I picked up, Brooklyn 99 and Boku no Hero Academia were top of the pops.

23:Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Who has that kind of time?

24:What was the best book you read? Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett was probably my fave of the year. I wish I had finished Atlas Shrugged; as much as I disagree with a lot of Ayn Rand's philosophy and the presentation thereof, she's a damn good author. Gonna finish in 2018.

25:What was your greatest musical discovery? Screaming sky cowboy. Also, I'm grateful that someone clued me into Wednesday Campanella.

26:What did you want and get? A bit of direction and focus, and the motivation to resume studying a language in the first time in a long time.

27:What did you want and not get? I'd wanted estate stuff to be over and done with completely this year, but alas.

28:What was your favourite film of this year? Get Out was so, SO good, and Thor: Ragnarok really surprised me, so probably one of those two. Special mention to Blade Runner 2049 (I still have some genre-typical beef, but I find more things I liked about the film every time I reflect on it).

29:What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Time with loved ones for sure, and gaining more confidence in my abilities and my future re: jobs. And being more "selfish" with my time and energy, to be honest. I feel guilty that I'm not there for everything or everyone like I usually pressure myself to be, but prioritizing myself more often rather than routinely making my desires secondary to pleasing others has made me a much happier person over all.

30:How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? I had to wear business casual most of the time (I did manage to put together some semi-stylish work outfits, though, and got a lot of compliments on the work wardrobe I built up over the year) and spent most of my free time in pajamas. I had a pretty cute but relatively basic office look going most of the time and would like to play with it a lot more in 2018, and I'd like to be less lazy fashion-wise during my days off. I'm thinking about returning to the side shave hair cut to inspire some bolder choices, but we'll see.

31:What kept you sane? Boything was patient through a lot of weird highs and lows (mostly highs) this year, which I really appreciate, and having a solid routine helped balance me and keep me on task once I adjusted to it. Frequent skype nights with my best dudes and finally building at least one more solid friendship here in Austin also helped quite a bit.

32:Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I guess those good, good McElboys took up a disproportionate amount of my attention span. Also, Chris Fleming, if only because I've hated my hair most of this year and every time I've looked in a mirror, I've started internally singing, "Just because I have bad hair doesn't mean that I'm polyamorous."

33:What political issue stirred you the most? I'll admit it, I got burnt out very quickly this year and only did my part in little spurts. I'd like to be more active next year. But I guess just the general trend of politics in America has had me somewhat riled, and I was probably the most outspoken about condemning white nationalism and white passivity in the face thereof.

34:Who did you miss? Everyone who was too far. ]:

35:Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. Having a regular sleep schedule is invaluable. Getting up fifteen minutes earlier to enjoy a cup of coffee and do some reading is always worth it. It's okay to choose yourself. More personally, I'm starting to accept the idea that people value my company and my input, and that I shouldn't shy away from sharing so often because I do have insightful/interesting things to contribute, or at the very least, I can usually get a laugh.

36:Quote a song lyric that sums up your year THE BEST (THE BEST THE BEST) PART OF WAKING UP IS FOLGERS IN YOUR CUP

#personal #let's fuck it up in 2018

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sciencespies · 4 years

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The 10 Best Wellness Trends Of The 2010’s

https://sciencespies.com/news/the-10-best-wellness-trends-of-the-2010s/

The 10 Best Wellness Trends Of The 2010’s

With the sun having set on the 2010s, what are the top wellness trends to take into the New Year … [+] 2020? (Photo: Getty Images)

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Every chocolate eclair has a golden lining. While the 2010’s have had its share of bogus and bad wellness trends, it’s also had its good ones. On the last day of the past decade, I covered for Forbes the Top 10 worst wellness trends of the twenty-teens. Let’s use the New Year to cover the really good ones. Now without further doggie-doo, here are the Top 10 best:

10. Athleisure, activewear, and eco-friendly apparel

“Athleisure” or “activewear” clothes are more comfortable but also stylish garbs that you can wear during athletic activities as well as others such work, going to school, attending parties, and getting arrested at protests. It’s basically melding sportswear with everyday wear, making it easier to meld physical activity with everything else. Why not? After all, many classic office-wear clothing items make about as much sense as the lyrics of the song Ice, Ice Baby. For example, neckties have little practical purpose, except to dab the tears in your eyes from your dreams being slowly crushed by your boss.

Then there are eco-friendly clothes, those that are less likely to pollute the environment. For example, they may be made out of natural fibers rather than petroleum-based clothing, which can be a source of microplastics, making oceans look like a bedazzler gone overboard, so to speak, as I’ve covered before for Forbes.

More clothing lines emerged that merged athletic activities with other activities. (Photo: Getty … [+] Images)

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9. More flexible work hours and more attention to family leave policies

While I was in medical school, an anesthesiologist once told me, “the best thing about anesthesiology is that you get into work at 6 am and then.” Everything sort of went hazy after he said that, because, to borrow a quote from the movie Jerry McGuire, he definitely didn’t have me at 6 am. Even if he had continued by saying,”they provided gold bars and sushi,” that workday start-time basically ruled out anesthesiology as a career option for me.

Fortunately, the 2010s saw increasing recognition that not everyone operates best at the same hours. On one end of the spectrum are night owls, who prefer later-to-rise-and-later-to-bed hours. At the other end are people whose sole purpose is to make night owls miserable: the early morning people, the larks. Then, there is a whole continuum of people in between. Over the past decade, more and more workplaces began offering more flex hours, allowing employees to better tailor their “on times” to their own personal working styles.

Another trend was paying more attention to having more reasonable family leave policies. Note that the words are “paying more attention to” and not actually changing them. While some organizations have responded by offering longer family leave, not all are allowing mothers and fathers much time with, you know, those living, breathing, peeing, and pooping things that have appeared in their houses and apartments. As John Oliver pointed out in this 2015 episode of Last Week Tonight, the U.S. still lags most of the world (except for perhaps Papa New Guinea) in this area:

8. Doing something about the sitting problem

Is sitting literally the new smoking, as some began claiming that it is? Not exactly, unless you are doing something really weird with your bottom. What this saying is supposed to highlight are the dangers of sitting around too much, which can lead to an increased risk of obesity and other non-communicable diseases (NCDs). The 2010s saw various trends aimed at decreasing your sitting time, such as standing desks, conducting meetings while standing, desk cycles, computer screen reminders to periodically get off of your butt, and the movie “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” to get you moving more or out of your seat. Not all of these will necessarily sit well with time though. Standing too long has its perils too, such as back and foot issues, and people asking you to stop blocking their view in the movie theater. And if you’ve got a standing desk, you’ve got to be real careful when propping your feet on the desk.

Standing desks became a thing in many workplaces. (Photo: Getty Images)

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7. More plant-based diets

Eating more plants and less meat can be better for not only your health but also the environment. Fruits and vegetables are naturally lower in saturated fat and sodium and can be higher in sodium and many types of nutrients and antioxidants. Plus, meat production can add lots of carbon and other types of pollution to the environment, and it’s not just from cows farting. The past decade did see an increase in plant-awareness and plant-based options. Heck, there is even meat-free haggis now, which is a bit like Game of Thrones without the killing and the sex. Keep in mind, though, plant-based doesn’t automatically mean healthy. Some plant-based dishes can have plenty of bad stuff added such as saturated fat, salt, sugar, and artificial ingredients. Also, if you are vegan, don’t go acting like the Todd Ingram vegan character in the movie Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Being vegan won’t automatically make you better than others, as this tweet references:

6. Waking up to sleep problems

What you do in bed matters, a lot. No, not that the stuff that takes on average 5.4 minutes to do with a range of 0.55 minutes to 44.1 minutes, based on a study of men in the Netherlands, United Kingdom, Spain, Turkey, and the United States published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. Instead, I’m referring to what you usually do in bed, which is sleep or, at least try to sleep. Getting less than seven hours of sleep a night is linked to increased risk of obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes, coronary heart disease, stroke, frequent mental distress, and death. And if you are dead, you can’t do that other stuff in bed, at least you really shouldn’t. A study published in the February 19, 2016, issue of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report found that more than a third of Americans regularly fall below this seven hour threshold. While many of these sleep problems have not yet been adequately solved, at least there seems to be more awareness for now.

The increasing use of smartphones and other devices may be affecting sleep. (Photo: Getty Images)

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5. Meditation and mindfulness

And Zen there’s this trend. It isn’t a completely new trend. In fact, various meditation and mindfulness practices have been common for hundreds of years in many parts of Asia. What’s new is these practices are becoming more mainstream in the U.S. For example, my previous article in Forbes covered how the NBA has incorporated such practices into its Rookie Transition Program. Being more in touch with your mind, your feelings, and your environment can’t be a bad thing. Maybe mindfulness can help counteract another trend that’s happening on social media: mindlessness.

Here is a video from the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (NCCIH) on the origins and traditions of meditation:

4. Personalized health, nutrition, etc.

Surprise, surprise. Everyone is not the same. You all don’t have the same bodies, the same minds, and the same circumstances. You all don’t like to dab. For too many years, too many people, whether its medical researchers, people trying to sell stuff like diets and medications, or people making policies and guidelines, have overlooked the individual and tried to lump people together into gigantic buckets. The 2010s saw increased realization that this just doesn’t work, that you actually have to, gasp, get to know someone before making many judgments and giving advice.

3. Talking more about mental health

If you have a bleeding arm, would you ever try to hide it or fear that someone will say, “ha, ha, that’s the bleeding arm guy, look at how bleeding his arm is.” Similarly, hiding mental health issues for fear of stigma and social and career implications makes little sense. You can’t address an issue if you don’t know about it. The 2010s had a number of athletes, movie and television stars, and other celebrities be more frank about their mental health challenges. For example, in this Today show segment, celebrities Carson Daly, Kristen Bell, Ryan Reynolds, Kevin Love and Michael Phelps discuss their anxiety, depression and other mental health challenges:

2. Efforts to increase sports participation and make it more inclusive.

Physical inactivity has become a major worldwide problem that’s gotten worse in the 2010s. Sport participation, especially among kids, dropped in the 2000s and much of the 2010’s with sports becoming too expensive, too competitive, and too inaccessible to play for many and a range of more sedentary activities like social media and putting Tide Pods in your mouth competing for attention.

But there is hope. The past decade witnessed increasing diversity among professional and other high profile athletes. Events like the 2019 Women’s World Cup provided a greater showcase for women’s sports:

Kosovare Asllani of Sweden (R) battles for the ball with Samantha Mewis of United States (L) during … [+] the 2019 FIFA Women’s World Cup France group F match between Sweden and USA at on June 20, 2019 in Le Havre, France. (Photo by Marcio Machado/Getty Images)

Getty Images

The tail end of Ichiro Suzuki’s major league baseball career, the spectacular beginning of Jeremy Lin’s NBA career, and Chloe Kim’s gold-medal-winning 2018 Winter Olympic debut got more people used to seeing those of Asian descent as top athletes.

Jeremy Lin #17 of the New York Knicks in action against Jason Maxiell #54 of the Detroit Pistons on … [+] March 24, 2012 at Madison Square Garden in New York City. The Knicks defeated the Pistons 101-79. (Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

Getty Images

The 2010s also saw more Black athletes dominate in roles, such as being an NFL quarterback, that not too long ago seemed reserved for White athletes. Moreover, initiatives like Project Play 2020, which I have described previously for Forbes, launched to increase youth participation in sports.

1.Finding ways to decrease sugar and salt consumption.

Oh sugar, who would have thought that drinking sugar water would be a bad thing? In the 2010s, there was finally a whole lot more attention paid to the dangers of adding sugar to everything. This included trying to find ways to curb the consumption of sugary drinks, such as warning labels and soda taxes, and helping people better understand how much sugar is being added to food. One example is when First Lady-at-the-time Michelle Obama worked with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to add a new category to the Nutrition Facts label: “Added Sugars.” The actual implementation of this change has been delayed under President Donald Trump’s administration.

On August 22, 2017, KIND Healthy Snacks dumped over 45,000 pounds of sugar in Times Square to … [+] represent how much added sugar American children consume each day. (Photo by Vanessa Carvalho/Brazil Photo Press/LatinContent via Getty Images)

LatinContent via Getty Images

This list certainly ain’t everything that was good about wellness the 2010s. Also, some wellness trends in the decade were a bit mixed. For example, wearables really became a thing. The good thing about these tech devices is that you can wear them on your body to monitor what you do. The bad thing is that you can wear them on your body to monitor what you do. Questions remain about the usefulness of the information being collected and the impact of others knowing this information.

Alas, 2020 is no longer just name of a television show or a perfect reading on an eye exam. It is now when we are. How many of these best wellness trends will continue and expand? You may want to sleep on it.

#News

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ameliamaki-n1 · 5 years

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Blog 6# How has music changed overtime, what makes music endure?

Statement to the driving question:

Music has changed much over its time. Although changes have occured, many genres have endured. The greatest change in music since it was first introduced has come about due to the increase in technology and the ability to develop more instruments. With newer instruments, more complex sounds are able to be produced. When looking at the trends in music and its development, it is evident that music with meaning applicable to the majority seems to endure. For example, in biblical times, music was used as a means of worship. In today's society, many church denominations still use hymns and compose their own musical pieces as a means of worship. Music endures based on its popularity and the connection that it has with people. If music has sentimental value, it is not easily forgotten.

Learning in music:

This week, we reflected on the history of music how how it has developed overtime. We looked at the use of instruments, song and hymns in biblical times. It was interesting to note that classical music seemed to have endured over time whereas many pop hits of today come and go, losing its popularity at a vast rate. Throughout our workshop, we looked at reasons as to why this may occur. I suppose there is much of the same music in today's society. Most music in pop culture involves similar beats or repetition that is nothing new. The lyrics in most songs today seem to theme around adolescent behaviours and exposure to sex, drugs and alcohol. All music is developed for a purpose, whether it be a soft sound to relax with, lyrics to resonate with or with the purpose of worship or idolising. In today's culture, we are exposed to music that is not necessarily of good means. As we are bombarded with new tunes from our ‘favourite’ or ‘ideal’ artists, we seem to move quickly through our choice in the songs we listen to. Interestly, songs of worship have been around since biblical times and have continued to be re-written and revamped into the worship music we hear and sing today.

When it comes to exploring the history of music, it is important that students are able to reflect on the old and the new as this provides them with a greater understanding of how and why music is the way that it is today.

The study of music history is relevant through the curriculum however stages 2 and 3 look specifically at Australian music history and how it compares to other cultures and social backgrounds.

Stage 2: Stage 3:

Making in music:

Well this week was sure to be the hardest challenge of all. During our workshop, we were encouraged to write a song. Although challenging, I was excited to put my creativity to the test. The task requirements were as follows:

- Write four lines of lyrics, with lines two and four rhyming (oh dear!)

- Make up a melody that goes with it

As I have no instruments (other than an untuned ukulele) I thought it best to use an online keyboard. I chose to write my lyrics about trusting in God.

Here is what I can up with:

- You who gave me life

- Bring me peace this time

- I trust and know you now

- I’ve gained faith in this climb

Here is the recording of the song:

(Originally I recorded this as an audio file which YouTube wouldn’t allow. I’ve played the audio file from my computer and filmed the recording from my phone to get it uploaded here).

https://youtu.be/8_oLyvAKbpc

Reflecting and appreciating music:

This week we were asked to reflect on our journey as musicians and composers of music. The two questions we reflected on were:

At first I felt

At first I felt that I was not going to enjoy the unit. As someone with a limb difference, I really struggle to play instruments. It is something my father (who has his own band) really wanted me to pursue however I just never had the drive or interest. I felt that I wasn’t going to be able to play an instrument and never cared much to persist in this area. Having a unit that focussed on learning an instrument was at first a daunting thought. I attended a couple of on-campus workshops and felt insecure about learning an instrument alongside the class. I didn’t want people to watch me learn, as I wasn’t even sure if I could learn it. Although now part of the distance students, I still hesitated to post videos of my learning journey with the ukulele. When it comes to composing music, I was excited to come up with some funky tunes and learn a little more about written music and how to read music. I was worried that I would find it difficult to grasp these concepts but I was willing to give it a go.

Now I feel

Although I still feel self-conscious playing an instrument, I have learnt a few simple cords on the ukulele and am proud in having done this. When it comes to music history, I understand more about the use of beat, rhythm and tempo (three things of which I thought I understood before however have since learnt so much more). I feel more confident in my ability to teach music theory and am still wanting to learn more and try new instruments that may be easier for me to play with one hand. I value music and its composers much more now than ever before and feel more of a connection when participating in worship music now too.

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disappearingground · 5 years

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Interview: Jenny Lewis on 'The Voyager', True Love, and her Musical Sisterhood.

Coup de Main October 6, 2015

INTERVIEW: JENNY LEWIS ON 'THE VOYAGER', TRUE LOVE, AND HER MUSICAL SISTERHOOD.

By Shahlin Graves

There’s a red panda toy on-stage tonight - undoubtedly a first for Sydney’s Metro Theatre (after the show, bemused Australian venue staff take photos of it on their phones). The 'lil panda sits proudly, surveying its surroundings - star-spangled rainbows and bouquets of fresh flowers - looking on as JENNY LEWIS and her five-piece band impress the heck out of an adoring audience.

Jenny Jr., The Panda, (as named during our interview at soundcheck / photos here) looks how I feel - equal parts ecstatic and reverential. When the last decade of your life has been soundtracked by all of Jenny Lewis’ albums, this kind of silent shout-out is like the bucket-list item I’ve always wanted to become reality, but just didn’t know.

Hours earlier, while writing a postcard addressed to New Zealand, Jenny tells us an anecdote about her time on Mumford & Sons’ stopover tour: "I just did this Gentlemen Of The Road festival show, and they have postcards pre-stamped backstage for the artists, so that you can send a postcard to someone - but I just sent postcards to myself, and I sat there for hours writing poems on these postcards about the Jersey Shore. I don’t know if that was their intention, putting them there."

Jenny Lewis is my spirit animal - she’s unashamedly unapologetic, the epitome of big sis wisdom, and a good human; like the very best kind that exists. Whoever said that you shouldn’t meet your heroes, has obviously never met Jenny.

"Can we embrace? I feel like I need to hug you after that," says Jenny post-interview, and the feeling is wholeheartedly mutual.

"...for me, it’s all on the table. My work, it comes from my soul, I’m never writing for someone else. I write from that feeling; so there are no rules."

COUP DE MAIN: Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us today! I grew up listening to Rilo Kiley, so this is such an honour! And in celebration of your existence, as tribute, we’ve bought you a lolly-lei made out of snacks. JENNY LEWIS: Oh my gosh, you guys! Are you serious? Thank you! What are these snacks? Milk bottles?! Thank you, I’ll need these later.

CDM: Selfishly, I’m so happy that you’ve got some Rilo Kiley songs on your current set-list - I don’t think Rilo Kiley ever came to New Zealand, so this is like the end of a long wait for me. JENNY: No, and we didn’t make it to Australia. Blake [Sennett] has a fear - or had a fear - of flying, so I think that was one of the reasons why we didn’t make it in the end. It’s a long flight, it’s quite a commitment - but that’s what drugs are for. <laughs>

CDM: Well, so that you have a super good reason to come visit NZ next time you’re in this part of the world, we’ve adopted you a Red Panda from the Auckland Zoo back in New Zealand. JENNY: WHAT?! This is the best interview I’ve ever done. This is the cutest little guy ever! This is Jenny Jr.? Because I have a purse - it’s like a little mouse-purse, and I call him Gary - and I wonder if Jenny Jr. will fit inside of Gary?

CDM: Jenny Jr. and Gary can be friends! JENNY: Yes! Perfect.

CDM: After working with Ryan Adams on your latest album and then touring together, it’s rad that it just so happened that you’re on the road together again here in Australia. Is tour-Ryan any different to studio-Ryan? JENNY: Ryan is pretty consistently himself, but the coolest part about travelling with Ryan is that he travels with a pinball machine in a road-case. So backstage, there’s always pins to be played. I was never a pinball fan until I started making 'The Voyager' with Ryan, and now I’m a pretty... I can’t say that I’m very good at it, but I really enjoy blowing off steam.

CDM: Can you beat Ryan? JENNY: I can’t beat him at anything. Maybe I could beat him at making a better Grass-Fed burger or something, but that’s about it.

CDM: Girls can do anything, Jenny. Keep practicing. JENNY: Yes! But he’s a pinball fanatic. I’d have to put in a couple years - I don’t have the time to play that much pinball.

CDM: While in NZ last week, Ryan made national news after he helped rescue an abandoned kitten that he found in a cemetery. Is that a normal kind of life-event for Ryan? JENNY: Really?! Did he really?

CDM: Ryan was the #1 Trending Topic on NZ Twitter with #CemeteryCat. He was roaming a cemetery one night, happened upon this abandoned kitten, then rallied our entire nation to try and help save/adopt it. JENNY: Did he just happen upon the cat?

CDM: I assume he was staying at the hotel opposite the cemetery. JENNY: Amazing! We’ve unfollowed each other on social media, so I don’t know anything about #CemeteryCat. <laughs>

CDM: 'The Voyager' album opens with 'Head Underwater', in which you sing, "Looking out on my life / As if there was no there." A year on from the album’s release, do you still feel that disconnect with your past selves? JENNY: No, and I think that line is about the past even in the song. Like, this is what happened to me and I’ve come through it. By the end of the song, that is no longer the case.

CDM: When you look back on your life, do you visualise your past selves as Matryoshka Russian nesting dolls? Or more like pieces of a jig-saw puzzle that fit together? JENNY: That’s a good question. I think more of the Russian dolls, because that little you - that little innocent girl - is always in there somewhere.

CDM: The line, "If for just one second it helps us to remember that we like each other the most" in 'Slippery Slopes', is one of my favourite lyrics on the album. It’s so unashamedly unapologetic, which isn’t a typical narrative for female musicians in this day and age. Why do you think pop-culture stereotypes tropes of female fidelity and infidelity, pitting 'good girls' against 'bad girls'? JENNY: That’s a big question and I think that everyone’s sexuality is their own - you’re on your own path and there’s no right or wrong way to do things. I’ve been in a committed long-term relationship, and that has ebbs and flows, as any long-term relationship does. But it’s funny, 'She’s Not Me' from 'The Voyager' [album], some people have assumed that I’m saying, "She’s not me, she’s easy," as if she’s promiscuous - and that’s not the point of the song at all because I would never say that about another woman and I don’t judge women by how they choose to carry themselves in that regard. But really, it’s just about someone who’s a little easier to live with than me. <laughs> She’s easy; I’m a little more complicated, it’s a little more difficult with me.

CDM: Another of the album’s important takeaway lines, is of course, "There's only one difference between you and me / When I look at myself, all I can see: I'm just another lady without a baby," in 'Just One Of The Guys'. Do you feel frustrated with society’s gender constructs? JENNY: I do, but that line in that song is-- well, it changes from night to night, but on most nights, it’s light. It’s not entirely heavy, and I think that it’s okay to talk about those things in your work. I think there are pressures... like, you have to choose between your career and having a family - you can do both, or you can choose neither, or it’s okay to define yourself through your work rather than other humans that you’re creating.

CDM: I don’t really read album reviews unless it’s research-related, so I only read The Telegraph’s review of 'The Voyager' this week. They said, "Given Lewis’s age and retro-musical instincts, major stardom may now be beyond her grasp, but if you like your pop music grown up, she’s up there with the big boys." Every word of that sentence makes me livid, from them putting an expiry date on your career to the 'big boys' idiom. Do you think that music journalists would be judging these songs in the same way if they were Rilo Kiley songs? JENNY: I don’t know... because if they were Rilo Kiley songs, if my band were still together, I’d still be a 39-year-old woman writing pop songs. I didn’t actually read that review when it came out. <laughs> I was reading an interview recently with Meryl Streep and she said something really interesting. She said that when she turned 40, the only parts that she was offered were parts to play witches in movies. <laughs> So if someone like Meryl Streep feels it, I certainly feel it. But what she’s done, and she’s continued to do amazing work, is she’s also created a writer’s workshop for women over 40 - and it’s specifically for women over 40. So I think that kind of journalism... it will always exist, but I don’t let it affect my work.

CDM: In Kim Gordon’s book, 'Girl In A Band', she says: "For high-end music labels, the music matters, but a lot comes down to how the girl looks. The girl anchors the stage, sucks in the male gaze, and, depending on who she is, throws her own gaze back out into the audience. Since our music can be weird and dissonant, having me center stage also makes it that much easier to sell the band. 'Look, it’s a girl, she’s wearing a dress, and she’s with those guys, so things must be okay.'" Do you agree or disagree with those thoughts? JENNY: Well, I think that’s why we play indie-rock. Because we don’t necessarily have to subscribe to that. I can only talk about my own experience, and in the way that I’ve presented myself as a female up on a stage with my band or with Rilo Kiley... and I grew up and I was extremely shy - I was a tomboy until I was in my mid-twenties - and when I started feeling more comfortable-- like if you look at early Rilo Kiley photos, I was in jeans and t-shirts, and then I started becoming more confident and just feeling more attractive. And so I started wearing dresses and I started wearing hotpants, and it infuriated some of the people in the audience - some of our hardcore fans - as if I had sold out. But really what was happening, was I was growing up and coming into my own and feeling more comfortable in my own body.

CDM: Because what you’re wearing totally affects the quality of your music. JENNY: Right! But it’s so funny how no-one ever said anything about what Blake was wearing - if he had a moustache or not, or long hair or short hair, or shorts or Tevas, hat or no hat. But suddenly somehow the quality of the music declined because the length of my pants got shorter. So it’s absurd. But again, you embody your own femininity and sexuality in your own time.

CDM: 'Love U Forever' ironically voyages from the bliss of young love, to "the feeling of hell in a hallway" when a relationship is no longer shiny and new. Do you believe in true love? What does true love mean to you? JENNY: I do. I think you have to believe in true love. I think practical love is also a part of the equation, and it takes work to be in love, and I think standing in love is something different than falling in love - and I think that’s the ultimate goal. You meet a lot of people that fall in love very quickly and obsess and then it sort of ends, but just the idea of standing in it is different.

CDM: Through Rilo Kiley, Jenny and Johnny, and now 'The Voyager' album, you’ve documented your relationships in a public way over a series of albums. It would be easy to dwell on the negative aspects of that sharing, but what have been the upsides for you personally? JENNY: I learn about myself through my songs. And sometimes I write things that I don’t understand in the moment - I write songs because I have a hard time expressing myself in my own relationships, so a lot of times I’ll write something and then three years later I’ll truly understand how I felt at that time. So for me, it’s all on the table. My work, it comes from my soul, I’m never writing for someone else. I write from that feeling; so there are no rules. I never tell myself what I’m not supposed to write about. But talking about my relationship, that’s different - if I’m giving an interview, I think you want to keep some things for yourself. But once you start making rules about what you can and cannot speak to, then you could find yourself in trouble.

CDM: Do you think it’s more important to move forward or move on? JENNY: Move forward. Because, do you ever really move on? I don’t think so.

CDM: In the Rilo Kiley song, 'Love and War (11/11/46)', you asked: "Can vanity and happiness coexist?" Over a decade later, have you found an answer for that question yet? JENNY: HA! I love that line. That line is so funny, I really thought about it for so long. I think that I probably wouldn’t write that line today, because the hope is that you become more comfortable in your own skin as you get a little bit older. But if I could tell my younger self anything, it would be like, 'Don’t worry about it.' Like a 22-year-old Jenny Lewis, 'Don’t worry about it. It’s fine. You look great. Don’t worry about it.'

CDM: You worked with Vampire Weekend’s Rostam Batmanglij on 'Completely Not Me' last year, for the 'Girls' soundtrack. He’s such an extreme perfectionist, that seems like it would have been the opposite studio experience of working with Ryan Adams who is so primal and instinctual? JENNY: It’s a completely different style of working. Ryan is all analogue - yeah it’s all instinctual, but he is also a perfectionist if he has an idea about the song itself. He doesn’t let the musicians dwell on the process, but he’s very specific about what he wants to hear. Rostam is in a digital world, so things change when you’re not even in the room. But working with both of those guys I learned so much, and I actually am working on a song with Rostam right now - we just started writing something together and I always love working with him.

CDM: You’re so super all about the sisterhood. From having Z Berg perform with you on Jimmy Kimmel Live, to playing at Haim’s Sam Jam benefit show and also having the Haim sisters appear on-stage with you at Coachella this year. As sort of the Patron Saint of Valley Girl musicians, do you feel like a proud Mom watching Haim take over the world? JENNY: How do you know all this stuff?! This is great! <laughs> I am so, so proud of them. I’ve had so many amazing musicians in my band over the years, Este and Danielle Haim, Blake Mills who’s amazing, Natalie Prass was in my band last year... so I’ve seen so many people go on to do really amazing things after spending a little time in my band. I’m so lucky to have people for a short amount of time. And I’ve learned so much from the Haim girls; I’m so incredibly proud of them, and I’m always there if they need me. They were actually over at my house a couple of weeks ago and were talking about songs and writing. I’m always a resource - if you’ve done time in my band, I’m always here for you.

#publication: coup de main #album: the voyager #year: 2015 #mention: songwriting #person: ryan adams #song: head underwater #song: she's not me #song: just one of the guys #mention: meryl streep #mention: love #song: love and war #person: haim

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mzhong2014 · 5 years

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Reading digest 8/4-8/10

What It's Like to Learn You're Going to Die

“Nessa Coyle calls it ‘the existential slap’—that moment when a dying person first comprehends, on a gut level, that death is close. For many, the realization comes suddenly: ‘The usual habit of allowing thoughts of death to remain in the background is now impossible,’ Coyle, a nurse and palliative-care pioneer, has written. ‘Death can no longer be denied.’”

Ironically, this article about death made me think more critically about what it means to be alive. Death is not simply a physical experience, but also one of the soul. I believe that your soul experiences multiple deaths of the nonphysical form throughout life that fundamentally alter the Self -- the death of a romance, death of friendship, the death of a dream, etc. Although these experiences may reappear, they are never reincarnated in the same form, creating a sense of permanence of these nonphysical deaths. So long as one is still living, one is always surrounded by death.

Perhaps change, both good and bad, can only be done through the death of parts of the Self -- hence why change is so painful. But in the process of destroying and morphing the Self, one is faced with existential questions of what is intrinsic to the Self. If nothing is intrinsic, then does the Self truly exist?

“In this crisis, some people feel depression or despair or anger, or all three. They grieve. They grapple with a loss of meaning. A person’s whole belief system may be called into question because ‘virtually every aspect of their life will be threatened by changes imposed by the [disease] and its management,’ Lee has written. In a small 2011 Danish study, patients with an incurable esophageal cancer reported that after their diagnosis, their lives seemed to spin out of control. Some wondered why they had received a fatal diagnosis, and fell into despair and hopelessness. ‘I didn’t care about anything,’ one patient said. ‘I had just about given up.’”

Religion aside (which is not a trivial parameter to constrain), physical death is the ultimate destruction of the Self because it destroys both the conscience and the body. Although I have never had a near-death experience, I have had moments in my life where an essential part of my Self was stripped away, leading me to spiral into self-destruction as my perception of reality loses all grounding. During these existential crises, the Self is reduced to the physical body as foundational beliefs that distinguish us from fully functioning robots are blown up into smithereens. Death presents the possibility of rendering all meaning meaningless by denying the existence of both the conscience and body.

Given the overwhelming difficulty of conceptualizing death, I found the following excerpt particularly interesting:

“Palliative-care doctors used to think that a patient was either in a state of denial or a state of acceptance, period, Rodin says. But now he and his colleagues believe people are more likely to move back and forth. ‘You have to live with awareness of dying, and at the same time balance it against staying engaged in life,’ he says. ‘It’s being able to hold that duality—which we call double awareness—that we think is a fundamental task.’

Whether or not people are able to find that balance, the existential crisis doesn’t last; patients can’t remain long in a state of acute anxiety. Coyle has found in her work that later peaks of distress are not usually as severe as that first wave. ‘Once you’ve faced [death] like that once, it’s not new knowledge in your consciousness anymore,’ she says.”

To live in the face of death is perhaps to feel so acutely what it means to be alive because living is no longer defined in a vacuum of false immortality, but in negation with death. Using this analogy for the nonfatal deaths experienced throughout life, these moments of acute pain remind us what it means to live, and thus what it means to die. But to continuously live in agony of death is to define life as purely a shadow of death, a permanent and unconquerable state of being. Unable to continuously live in this duality, the concept of death shows the limitations of the human mind. But perhaps those who are more able to strike this balance are those who can appreciate simultaneously the concept of life and death. Just as how living makes us fearful of dying, death makes us more appreciative of life and how much we have to lose -- not just of our physical existence, but also of our soul.

He’s Your Destiny. Just Be Patient.

In every single relationship that I’ve had, I always run up against the following question: Do you just know when you’ve met the right person? Or does your partner become the right person through hard work and patience of both parties?

As someone who is a strong believer in free will but also has compulsive overthinking tendencies and is prone to identifying patterns in meaningless trends in this noisy and chaotic world, my philosophy has wildly oscillated from believing in the ability of sheer willpower to overcoming incompatibilities to trying to concoct a scientific framework of key inputs to forecasting the future of a relationship.

This article is quite fitting because it shows us the irony of life, both in creating incredibly unlikely circumstances that seem to follow the narrative of a certain trajectory, as well as in surprising us with outcomes far from what one had expected. For Stefanie, the author, this irony is encapsulated in a tarot card reading. During this reading, the author learns that she will 1) soon leave NYC, 2) face a career of unexpected turns, and 3) reunite with her ex in three years time but will have other relationships that don’t work out in the meantime.

The first two come true, and after leaving NYC for Detroit, she meets a guy named Brandon.

“I fell very much in love with Brandon. There was no lightning strike of certainty but rather a slow warming that grew into something sweet. I wanted to marry him, and I told him so. I daydreamed about painting walls and walking dogs and all of the ways in which we would build a future together.”

After two years of falling in love with Brandon, Stefanie moves to LA for her work and finds herself in the same city with the ex she is destined to be with. One can only imagine how everything leading up to this moment has been a journey towards that destined love, that all of the pain and heartbreak, learning and growing, has prepared her to reunite with the One.

“I finally wrote an email to my ex.

‘Hey’” I began casually, as if this greeting had not weighed heavily on me for ages. ‘It’s been so, so, so, so long. I live in LA now and I know you know that. I guess I’m hoping it’s finally time to have coffee and say hi? Whaddya think?’

After three years of wondering, I had to wait only a few hours for his response.

‘Yo yo,’ he wrote. ‘I appreciate the guts it must’ve taken to reach out, but I’m not really interested in grabbing coffee, sorry. I do sincerely hope everything in your world is awesome though!’

And that was that. No destiny. No lightning strike. No certainty written in the cards.”

A few months later, Stefanie and Brandon break up because they have drifted apart from each other and have become different people.

“We didn’t break up because the cards said we would, nor was it a failure of the cards that my ex and I didn’t reunite. I chose to believe in the possibility that there was some perfectly pre-written story that I was only playing a role in, but there was no pre-written story for Brandon and me. There’s no pre-written story for anyone.

And isn’t that part of the bargain we strike with our partners? That we are willing to live together inside of a story being written rather than a story already told? And that trying to see the future before it happens is just an attempt to make the terrible uncertainty about being in love, and staying in love, a little easier to bear.“

I love the ending of this article because it shows the absurdity in trying to predict the future as it unrolls, creating narratives out of disparate crumbs of faded memories and desires. It doesn’t answer the question of whether there are people out there destined for us or whether the success of a relationship is a result of sheer luck and hard work. It tells us that we don’t know, and that we choose how to cope with this uncertainty. But regardless of whether a relationship is fated to be, this does not deny the love that one feels when there is something “true and deep” between two people.

November Rain

I really love this song, and more generally, Guns N’Roses. The raw emotions in the song and lyrics capture the essence of emotional vulnerability.

“When I look into your eyes I can see a love restrained But darlin' when I hold you Don't you know I feel the same

Nothin' lasts forever And we both know hearts can change And it's hard to hold a candle In the cold November rain”

The imagery in the last two verses in this stanza shows the fragile, ephemeral, and fickle nature of love.

“And when your fears subside And shadows still remain, oh yeah I know that you can love me When there's no one left to blame So never mind the darkness We still can find a way 'Cause nothin' lasts forever Even cold November rain”

After a great guitar solo, Rose sings these verses that I find to be so magnetic. It’s a message of hope, but tempered hope. Just as love fades and dies, even darkness must eventually subside.

Putin plays judo, not chess

I found this to be a really clever analogy for Russia’s strategy in the international stage considering how judo is one of Putin’s favorite past times (how I pity Russian athletes that are pitted against him.)

“In judo, a seemingly weaker practitioner can rely on inner strength and force of will to defeat a larger, stronger foe. One basic technique involves putting an opponent off balance and taking advantage of his temporary disorientation to strike a winning blow. Mr. Putin has proved adept at seizing opportunities presented by the West’s disarray and its leaders’ indecisiveness. He had a plan to restore Russia as a great power when he took over from Yeltsin; the U.S. has had no comparable strategy in the post-Cold War era, and Russia has taken advantage against its much stronger competitor.”

AKA US needs to get its cybersecurity policy together.

Being a Law Firm Partner Was Once a Job for Life. That Culture Is All but Dead.

One of my biggest qualms of going to law school to practice law is the incentive system. Lawyers are billed on hours worked, not sales generated or results delivered. Thus, I was surprised that this article paints this shift towards a compensation model found in finance and consulting negatively. The hourly billings model creates an incentive for longer hours regardless of the quality of the deliverable, which trickles down to the associate-level and creates this poor work culture that already faces workaholic pressures by virtue of being client-facing.

Also, this shift in model doesn’t necessarily mean that being a partner is no longer a cushy position. This doesn’t change the fact that partners would still take profit sharing of retaining client relationships, which they should be able to do as long as they don’t seriously screw up anything. I also don’t think that partners should get an easy pass once they achieve this rank. If you’re making that much as your annual salary, your value-add better be worth a few million dollars.

Gun Policy in America: An Overview and What Science Tells Us About the Effects of Gun Policies

I find gun policy to be one of the most frustrating and mindboggling issues in politics. How can both sides of the aisle react so vehemently to the tragedy of mass shootings, yet have such different conceptions of what are their root causes and appropriate policy reactions? Additionally, why is this issue so partisan? Do gun issues symbolize the partisan disagreement on protecting personal rights at the expense of greater safety of the nation or clashing of personal identities between the isolated inhabitants of rural regions and the disconnected elitists of metropolitans? I’m not exactly sure why gun regulation has become so divisive, but I do know that protecting people’s lives should rise above the petty politics of partisanship.

RAND, a global think tank that covers both domestic and international policy issues, has tried to dissect these issues in an objective, nonpartisan, and analytical manner. From its preliminary research, what is clear is that there isn’t enough conclusive and rigorous research on gun policy, and that the government should appropriate more funds for researching gun regulation. In fact, “the U.S. government has spent just 1.6 percent as much on gun policy research as it has on research involving causes of similar levels of mortality in the United States, such as traffic accidents or sepsis” (Morral). I don’t know if this is because of lobbying efforts from pro-gun organizations, but investing in high-quality research is one of the first steps to fixing this issue.

A few issues with researching gun policy include the lack of reliable data sets and the inconsistent categorization of different gun policies. Data sets are limited in sample size and the availability of historical information. New policies affect only a small fraction of guns purchased every year of the population of gun owners (e.g., prohibitions against the mentally ill). The lack of historical data makes it difficult to establish a causal relationship between passing gun regulation and perceived changes in gun violence. The difficulty of establishing strong evidence for a causal relationship between gun regulation and gun violence, however, may be a chicken and the egg problem. If there aren’t enough examples of states passing gun regulation, there aren’t many case studies to draw from for analysis.

Despite the difficulty of researching gun regulation, there are a few gun policies with strong evidence of its impact on gun violence. RAND defines supportive as having three studies showing significant effects in the same direction using two independent data sets, with no other studies of comparable or greater rigor contradicting its findings.

Interestingly, studies on child-access prevention laws are able to draw from larger data sets because of a larger proportion of gun-owning households also have kids (e.g., in contrast to the population of gun owners that commit domestic violence). There is also moderate evidence that background checks reduce suicide and violent crime, and that prohibitions on the mentally ill decrease while stand your ground laws increases violent crime.

Also, just because a policy has inconclusive evidence on its impact on reducing gun violence, this doesn’t mean that the policy is ineffective. Rather, there isn’t evidence to prove its effectiveness – unsurprising, given the relative rarity of mass shootings (which is unfortunately changing as we speak).

However, it is fair to claim that even if with more conclusive evidence on gun policy, this would not bring our government any closer to a political resolution on how to effectively regulate gun ownership. For example, climate change issues have strong evidence for the relationship between manmade pollution on global increase in temperatures. However, the lack of rigorous and conclusive research makes it even more difficult to agree on any changes in gun policy, which is clearly needed to curb recent increases in gun violence.

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trentteti · 7 years

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Only a fool would predict what'll be on the LSAT. So here are our predictions ...

All right, the time is upon us. We are T-minus 2 days until the September 2017 LSAT is unveiled to a nation of law school hopefuls and, in the case of the fine people who contribute to this blog, LSAT instructors.

If you’re reading this, you’ve probably been studying for this moment for months on end. You’ve used past exams to guide your study. You’ve seen that, while there are only a few different kinds of Logical Reasoning questions, Logic Games, and Reading Comprehension passages that the LSAT returns to again and again, you never quite know which combination of those you’re going get on a given exam. The malevolent sorcerers who write this test can be quite unpredictable in that way.

So I’m going to put my LSAT knowledge and experience to the test and try to make some predictions about this upcoming exam. To try to divine, by means of reason and experience, what the logicians-who-use-their-powers-for-evil will include on the test this Saturday.

A major caveat before we begin: I’m wrong all the time. I thought this forgotten single would be Beyoncé’s biggest, most beloved song. I root for the San Diego Los Angeles Chargers, and before most seasons sincerely believe they will win the AFC West. For years, I thought the lyrics to Chumbawamba’s “Tubthumping” were, “He drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a vodka drink. He drinks a vodka drink, he drinks a vodka drink.” I use it a bunch, but I still don’t know how to pronounce “eschew.” I know a lot about the LSAT, but maybe take what I say with a grain of salt.

With that said, let’s get to speculating!

Logical Reasoning

The typical Logical Reasoning section always goes the same way. You start out with some easy to mild questions. Then, by question 14 or 15, you start to get some more difficult and time-consuming questions and, then by the question 18 or 19, you’re given tough after tough question.

What does vary from section to section is what kind of questions you’re going to get. So let’s make some semi-educated guesses about that.

The first question on the first Logical Reasoning section of the last three exams has been a Resolve or Explain question. In fact, on most recent sections, you get a lot of these two question types at the beginning of the section. I’d expect this trend to continue on this exam. So get ready to start with the ‘splaining, and ease into the section with some of the easier types of question types on the LSAT.

I wouldn’t expect to see many Soft Must Be True questions on this exam. There are usually about five of these in a given exam, but on the June 2017 exam, there were ten. I’d be willing to wager that LSAC Soft Must Be Blew through its reserve of these questions on the last exam and won’t have many to use for this one.

I do predict that there will be a lot of Strengthen questions on this exam though. There are an average of eight of those on a given exam. But on the last one, there were a grand total of three. Expect this question type to reassert its dominance in a big way. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were as many as ten on this exam.

Finally, a trend I’ve noticed on recent exams is “hidden” conditional language. Most questions that involve diagramming haven’t used the super obvious “If A, then B; but only Cs are Bs” conditional language from tests of yore. Rather, there have been a lot of instances of less overt conditional statements. Statements like “Birthday clowns are alcoholics” and “Alcoholics cannot be trusted with children.” These can be diagrammed to “Birthday Clown → Alcoholic” and “Alcoholic → Not Trusted with Children,” allowing you to conclude that “Birthday Clowns → Not Trusted with Children.” Be on the lookout for these — identifying and diagramming them will make your job a lot easier on many Must Be True, Flaw, Parallel, Parallel Flaw, Sufficient, and Necessary questions you get.

But remember, some things never change on Logical Reasoning. You’ll get somewhere between four and eight Flaw questions. You will get exactly two Parallel questions and exactly two Parallel Flaw questions. You’ll get a handful of questions that involve understanding the structure of an argument — these being a few Main Point, a few Describe, and a few Role questions strewn about the exam. Be ready for these too.

Reading Comprehension

One prediction I can make with confidence — and I say this with proverbial hat in hand — is that Reading Comp is going to be tough. As an LSAT instructor, I sometimes feel like a parent forcing a recalcitrant child to eat his vegetables when reviewing Reading Comp with my students. Everyone hates reading these dry passages on obscure topics, but doing so is ultimately very healthful. Because it makes you a better reader — which is obviously an important skill for law school — but also because it helps prepare you for the section that has only gotten harder over the years. It’s also the longest section, based on the number of questions, so you have the most opportunity to earn (or fail to earn, if you didn’t have a diet of vegetables during your studies) points.

For Reading Comp, there’s really no such thing as an “easy” passage anymore. Our company has a rating system, from 1 (easy) to 5 (brutal), that we use to rate every LR question, RC passage, and logic game. And over the past six published LSATs, there have been zero passages we’ve classified as a “1” and only two passages we’ve classified as a “2” (or “mild”). Compare that to the five passages we’ve classified as a “4” (tough) and the six passages we’ve classified as a “5” (brutal), and you start to get the picture of the horrors LSAC is putting students through on this section.

My guess is that you’ll get one or two passages of “medium” difficulty to start it off. Then the third and fourth passages will be tough and brutal. The comparative passage is usually either among the easier passages of the section or the most difficult of the bunch. On most of the recent exams, it’s been among the easier — and in the last LSAT, it was one of the toughest — so I’m going to guess the comparative passage will be one of the easier passages in this section, and will probably be first or second.

As far as the topics, the LSAT is pretty much always good for one on the law and one on science. The other two cycle through topics like the arts (almost always an obscure artist doing something unconventional), history (often having to do with indigenous people in the pre-Columbus Americas), philosophy (which is when things get really weird — think the weird passage about meta-thoughts from the last LSAT), and the social sciences. My best guess is that you’re going to get a passage on arts — they’ve done music and interior design recently, so let’s say it’s going to be on literature — and a social sciences passage on some protest movement that seems somewhat similar to the current resistance movement — the LSAT loves to be somewhat topical.

Logic Games

A little recent history on the Logic Games section: In late 2014, after many years of really only including games that involved ordering and games that involved grouping, the test writers decided to start getting weird. On tests between 2014 and 2016, they started including super weird games that didn’t quite fit within the paradigms of ordering and grouping games. Think the worksite trading game of June 2014. Or the computer virus game of September 2016. Or the trading building game of December 2016. And let me just say, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for this, LSAC. It’s been a real pleasure to, days before the big test day, console the nerves of hundreds of anxious law school hopefuls about the possibility of getting an unconventional game on their exam.

BUT … then the test writers sort of stopped doing that. On the last two exams, the games sections have been straightforward. Everything’s been an ordering game or a grouping game. Nothing has been especially difficult, provided you have the basics of logic games down.

I would expect this to continue on the recent exam. And — this is probably the point at which my conjecture becomes irresponsible, but hear me out — I think this has more to do with external pressures facing LSAC than anything else. It’s no secret that the LSAT is losing ground to the GRE, as big-name schools like Harvard, Georgetown, and Northwestern have started to accept the GRE in lieu of the LSAT. For years, LSAC had a monopoly on the test people had to take to get into law school. When LSAC lacked competition, it could do annoying things that would anger a bunch of test takers. “Who cares what the students think? They have to take our exam and pay us a hefty application fee to do so!” these fat cats would scoff. Now that they have competition, my guess is they’re less inclined to do stuff that will sour large swaths of test takers on the exam. And — take it from me — nothing sours a bunch of people on the LSAT like a logic game that people view as unfair or overly difficult.

The LSAT is already doing things to try to make the test seem more ~chill~ than it used to. You can take it as many times as you want now. It’ll be offered more times throughout the year. It’s going digital. And I don’t see any reason why this trend wouldn’t manifest in the types of games that appear on the exam ether.

As far as the types of games, I think we’re going to see one basic, or 1:1, ordering game, since there’s almost always at least one of those. There hasn’t been an In & Out game in a few exams, so I imagine they’re going to dust off one of those for this exam. Unstable grouping games are another very common game, so I bet we’ll see one of those. And I think the hardest game of the lot will likely be a tiered ordering game. But, in all, I wouldn’t expect anything too tough or crazy on this one.

That said …

Finally, with all that said … don’t take these predictions too seriously. There’s a reason why we’re making them at the last possible moment, at a point at which you should no longer be studying and instead just relaxing and recharging before the big day.

Honestly, no matter what they put on this test, you’ll have the skills and strategies to answer it. There are fundamental concepts that translate across question types and sections of the LSAT, and if you’ve mastered those, you’ll be fine, no matter what they put on the exam. Do you know how to diagram conditional statements and use them to make transitive deductions? Do you have the common fallacies down pat? Are you able to recognize causal statements, and do you know how to strengthen and weaken them? Do you know how to identify the author’s role in a Reading Comprehension passage? Can you set up both ordering and grouping games, and do you know when to make scenarios in each of those?

If so, I will make one last prediction, one I can make with absolute confidence: You’re going to do great.

Only a fool would predict what’ll be on the LSAT. So here are our predictions … was originally published on LSAT Blog

#LSAT #predictions #September 2017 LSAT #trent teti #lsat

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lifevocabulary · 7 years

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Shifting impressions and giving feel good vibes. The Margin Kings - cultivating a new culture in the UK ‘urban’ music scene.

"The whole idea behind our movement (and our music) is to bring people together. We are trying to remove barriers, and ‘they’ keep chopping social groups how ‘they' want." - Rico Marvell of the Margin Kings.

“There are enough people talking about their struggle and telling my story for me. I don’t need to add to it. I want to come from another perspective.” - Reece Rydar of the Margin Kings.

“Are we starting to get singled out? It’s funny there used to be a lot of ‘beefs’ and post-code wars. It’s funny that the era of the gangs is dying out. Cos people are like ‘yo … come here my brother … are we getting singled out and picked on?” - Reece Rydar.

The Margin Kings are a tight group of 4 individuals between 20 and 25 yrs of age. What struck me the most is how much they know themselves and their own musical style - and they’re open about evolving and progressing as a group. All from London, you have the only female in the group Selz (Selina) who is the vocalist alongside Lorenzo Storm (Leo); Reece Rydar and Rico Marvell are the rappers of the group. This interview took place in London and in person - by Serena Hussain.

LV: What do your fans most relate to? Selz: So we have this thing called FGB or GBO - Feel Good Vibes or Good Vibes Only (Listen to ‘They Know’). People like us because, we just like to have fun. Our music, no matter what it is about, is always uplifting and relevant so people can relate. It’s just fun! Sometimes other artists have songs that are very negative or with hard hitting lyrics, whereas ours is calm and fun. You can listen to it in your house or car - everyone likes to hear something that makes them feel good. LV: Was that a conscious decision? To only make feel-good music? Selz: It happened naturally. All our personalities are very fun. When we all came together, the bond was there. We 'bust jokes' and the banter was just there. When you are around people the same as you, you just gel more, and our music reflects that. So when we are like that with each other, we want to make others feel the same way with the music. LV: Is that the Margin Kings mission? Selz: Yes. And definitely with our last show. We wanted to get that mood across - for everyone to just enjoy themselves. LV: So, each one of you have your own style musically... Rico: Yeah ... mine is a more soft rap and poetic style. I’m also the looks of the group (smiling). I’m more the playful, ‘turn-up' one. LV: How is it more poetic? Rico: Because I am an emotional wreck! (everyone laughs). LV: Musical influences? Rico: Anything 2000 era. Ja Rule... Ashanti sound. LV: Any other rappers? Rico: Reece. LV: EMOTIONAL MOMENT!!! Rico: Without sounding soft. That’s a legit answer. He’s the one I listen to the most to make myself better. LV: AMAZING Reece: My style is more gritty, almost like a counter balance to Rico’s style. Rico will tell the poetry and almost tell a story, then I hit the bullet points. LV: How do you feel about Rico saying you inspire him? Reece: It’s vice versa. I will listen to him and think the same. How he switches things. We might share the same vision, but our delivery is different. Rico: Like the Turtle and Hare. We will both finish the race but do it differently. He will get there quicker but I will chop down every alleyway and road to get there. Leo: Same thing but with different language. Reece: I’ll say ‘ yesterday I went to Morleys and got a fried chicken’ and he’d be like ‘I drove for days and saw a painting before I even reached Morleys … and which one was it?’. I almost admire how he does it. That’s what I love about it. So what I bring to the table is honest, to the point, and for people to really ask ‘do you really think that?’. Yeah! In ‘So Fine’ I do think she’s ‘a spice’! I do want her to cook. I’m not gonna go ‘I need a nice girl … aromatic’. I feel like people know they will get a story from Rico and get something different from me. Even the singers do it differently. Selz: My style is soulful. Very subtle. I think I am an emotional wreck as well. LV: Aren’t we all!

Leo: I can be an emotional wreck as well - my vocal style is calm, cool and chilled. But the thing is, as a person, I am nothing like how I sing. It’s a contradiction. My style has remained the same. I think theirs has changed. (Minor group disagreement ensues - another humorous moment!). Selz: My style has changed for sure. I used to be one of those singers who would sing with an american twang and used to hold notes quite a lot as well. But I’ve worked on that. Just being more angelic, more calm. Before I used to belt out. But in terms of that, my influences were Ashanti, Brandy, Aaliyah, Mistyque, Craig David - that 90s vibe - the songs my mum listened to. Reece: As a rapper you have your own identity. Singers might feel it more. I can’t think who Rico sounds like. With singers though … you can end up sounding like others before you. LV: I suppose with rapping it’s easier to establish your own voice? How influenced are you by current sounds? Reece: Take social media. When we were talking earlier, you said something that was spot on. It’s ‘in' right now but its a trend that could go. If there’s a trend right now … we will use it. Leo: It’s like Chris Brown. Initially he sang the ‘Yo’s' and 'Excuse me Miss' and then shifted to House Music. LV: And he’s rapped too and still manages to keep his sound and style. Leo: It’s not about changing yourself, but adapting. LV: That’s quite key actually. How to adapt but still be you. How things are constantly changing but sticking to your core foundation. Yours is that feel-good perspective. Reece: And the fact that we are more than just the music. Come bowling with us! The feel good vibes is us as a whole. You can be around us and be a part of that. LV: This quality you have, comes across in your music, and face to face. That kind of consistency is rare.

Technically within the R’n’B/Hip Hop genre, the Margin Kings have a fresh more encompassing sound (with well known UK R’n’B singer Shola Ama professing how they have “...brought a new, fun, and exciting element with energy”. What struck me is how they reflect on where they sit right now within the music movement, but also their inclusive perspective when it comes to connecting with their followers and fans.

LV: Is there a need for speed when it comes to putting your music out there? Selz: If you care about your art, you'll only put music out that’s relevant. Content is important but it’s about quality, rather than quantity. LV: There’s a lot of pressure to post and publish content these days. Do you feel it? Selz: Yes there is. Especially with younger people always watching things on youtube or twitter, always expecting things. Nobody really sits down and takes the time to even read! Everyone is on social media looking for the next best thing. So if you’re not continuously putting things out, consistently, you don’t get noticed. So there is a lot of pressure because a lot happens on social media. Top labels and managers are always trying to scout for people. It does take from the creative process, but it’s part of what you have to do now. LV: If there is a lot of musical choice out there … what’s happening with your listener? Selz: If what you put out is good, then listeners and followers engage, they ask Q’s, and connect with us directly. Once they like what we put out, they want to know when more will be out. It’s a fast pace, so if you leave a long pause, people move onto the next best thing that’s coming out. Young kids always want to know what’s new. But then at the same time, it’s good to have a fan base. If you establish that first, naturally you’ll have those supporters there already. You might get people clicking through, but you want the people to stick with you and what you’re doing. I would say youtube has been good for us. Especially putting our music on ‘Link Up TV’ - a worldwide site with a big following - getting our music on there has given us good exposure.

LV: What does your listener most relate to?

Leo: The feel good vibes. It’s because of our personalities and the upbringing we have had - with regards to the music that our parents have listened to. Even if you listen to Heavy Metal, there’s something in there that makes you feel good. Some of us have got reggae, old school afro-beats, the Jamiroquai’s. Anything that has a bounce to it and a positive message for sure has influenced me. �� LV: Your lyrics are young and relative to your experience right now; like (smiling) wanting "a lady on the street and a low key freak”? (The group laughs). You put a spin on a well known lyric! Reece: It’s funny. I picked up on something when you were saying earlier how you listened to a Biggy song and appreciated the sample/reference he used. The key is how he sampled and mixed into what he was doing right then at the time. So we as our generation are listening back to music like the Biggy’s, the Ashanti’s and the Ja Rules. We like bits of that and then mix it into what we’re about right now. Our lyrics represent where we are right now, but the sound is definitely coming from other influences. LV: Funnily enough, Selz’s vocal and style reminds me of Ashanti. What is it like being the female amongst a lot of young testosterone? Selz: It has its ups and downs (smiling). Being the only girl vocalist, I offer my own style with my singing. I am not very outspoken and a lot of the time, especially when these lot are having their dramas, I give my bit and manage to calm it all down. But it’s been really good. As the only female, I just want to be empowering and make sure I stick to my own direction as well as the direction of the group. LV: Interestingly, their lyrics (the guys) talk about the types of girls they want. You almost need a track where you get to put down your own words about the kind of guy you want. I mean, they talk about how the girl has to be ‘spicy’. (Group laughs). What’s your criteria for a guy then? I don’t actually hear much from the female about what she wants in a guy … it’s always the guy dictating qualities, don’t you think? Reece: (jumping in) … can I say why though? What I have realised in this society that we live in - or this generation - that the guy has this clear idea of what he wants. Yet girls have this thing about communicating what they are about. I rarely hear a girl saying ‘I want this’. I hear them more saying ’I am this type of girl or not this type of girl’. So when we are writing our lyrics, I make sure I state what I want. But Selina (Selz) in her lyrics states what she is about. Selz: It’s almost like I counter what they are saying. LV: It’s like you’re having to react to all of this messaging. Do you find you have to counter a lot of ways of thinking in your generation? You’re all about the positive vibes but are your peers on the same page as you? Is it common for them to be this positive? Reece: That’s a good question because there have been a lot of hurdles and definitely a lot of negativity. That’s because the scene is saturated. There are a lot of singers. Everyone wants to be a musician. Everyone is almost like, when are you going to succeed? They’ll appreciate what you are doing but it gets countered with ‘you’re still not here’ (gesturing high with his hand). Sometimes it is hard, but the more you keep going, the more people see how it is going somewhere. Having to tell people who you are and where you want to go can feel challenging. LV: Do you feel like you are having to transform their thinking? Rico: I don’t think so. I think it’s absorption. You’ll gravitate towards someone that interests you. We don’t need to force it down their throats. It’s like a rave. If a rave is ‘live' you’re gonna want to go. I think that’s what we give off. LV: Do you view the current (young) culture being a feel-good vibe culture? Leo: I there there are feel-good vibes out there. You’ve got different types though. Reece: I actually think it is negative you know. I am always hearing about how people are grinding, someone got stabbed last week, the lyrics… Selz: A lot of young artists stress a lot about what is going on in life. Back in the day everyone used to love the feel good vibes and I feel like now, so many people are stressed about so many things in life. LV: Why is that? Because you guys are between 20 and 25, why is it that there is so much stress? Reece: As an example, the #BlackLivesMatter thing. Are we starting to get singled out? It’s funny there used to be a lot of beefs and post-code wars. It’s funny that the era of the gangs is dying out. Cos people are like ‘yo … come here my brother … are we getting singled out and picked on?’. Even though everyone is not working together, they are talking their pain. I don’t believe they are being negative, but they have an outlook and they want to share that message. Where we have come from is ‘yeah we might have had the same upbringing as most of these guys, however, sometimes you just want to be happy’. You want to be scrubbing your kitchen with just your boxer shorts on, listening to music and you’re smiling like YO! That’s where we are coming from. There are aspects in your life that are good. Like you said going to a rave or going on holiday with the guys and coming back saying ‘yo that was live’. Let’s put that in a song so people can feel like we have made their day. If everyone wasn’t talking about their struggle, then we might talk about our struggle. But there are enough people talking about their struggle and telling my story for me. I don’t need to add to it. I want to come from another perspective. LV: That’s really powerful. I was wondering how you feel about these campaigns … are they having an adverse effect? Rico: I think it is splitting people up even more - in my opinion. It’s another way to divide and separate. The whole idea for our movement (with our music) is to bring people together. They keep chopping the groups down to what they prefer - into social groups. And that’s what we are trying to remove as barriers. LV: Do you see that the people initiating those campaigns are perhaps older with more baggage? Whereas your point of reference is different? Reece: I feel like they are trying to teach us their knowledge and what they have learnt. To be careful. However it’s a bit of what you (Rico) are saying. The beauty of life is to walk your own path and learn what you have to learn. You know when you have a preacher for a father and you end up rebelling later. Listen, the clue is in our name. We are called Margin Kings and it is all about breaking the boundaries. What we are trying to do is make music that everyone, white / black / chinese / young / old can listen to and say, I like these guys. Stop putting people in categories. Even though we are within a specific genre of music, our music takes from all genres of music. Just so everyone can relate to us. LV: It’s interesting you should say that. I was telling Selz earlier about why I wanted to start this publication in the first place. I feel like many of us, whether you’re a creative or whatever, get put into a category or a box, and the mainstream media does that to us. I just wanted a publication showing people doing their thing without having to say this is black or brown or for an ethnic/cultural community. To show how different groups of people are relatable. Just because I had a Muslim upbringing and I am Pakistani doesn’t mean I am only about THOSE ‘thing’. I was born and bought up in London. My experience and identity is more than the ethnicity questionnaire ‘they’ get us to tick! Rico: Definitely. (All laugh at Rico’s brevity and nod in agreement)

There’s something that troubles me when it comes to viewing and valuing racial diversity. This word ‘diversity’ is banded around in a one dimensional way. We are more than our colour - we are our diverse opinions and perspectives along with our racial/cultural identities. That’s where our true diversity lies.

Recently, I’ve wanted to discuss the whole matter of ‘cultural appropriation’ within music, but in a gentler way to try to understand the grey area more. Since there is always a grey area. In my opinion the guys pretty much nailed the whole issue within a short moment... It’s about ‘giving props’ to the influence - and referencing with respect:

LV: When you’re a creative you are influenced by so many things. How can you, lets say, ‘borrow’ and be respectful? In terms of your sound and how you put a spin on your influences? Reece: I can’t even say we pick. As a creative, when you’re in that moment, writing something, or things are getting bought to the table and you’re like ‘eh!’ … we go with the moment. Even when Leo was writing something, he was referencing Janet Jackson, but it was still him. We aren’t calculated. It’s more like being in the lab and you’re cooking up something. Rico: That’s the difference between copying and being influenced. If you can listen to something and immediately hear the original, you’re copying. Whereas if you notice a reference, it’s an influence. Reece: Like our tune ‘Good Vibes Only’, Selina in the bridge had an Usher themed ending. The reason was that our rapping flow was fast and she wanted to take it slow. She didn’t want to steal it, but she went with a theme. LV: I know you guys are in a good zone with your music. But what are the frustrations? Leo: Having people understand who we are and what we are right now. When it comes to doing a show, everyone wants to come, but they also want to start to dictate our direction. Reece: People show us support and believe in the unknown because the sound we are putting on the table is unknown. But people want to compare you to a sound that’s been proven and done before. But we believe in what we’re offering and how different it is, and we just keep going. People don’t know if this will work and don’t know where it is going. So there is a bit of fear coming from them. Leo: Funny thing though, when it does work, the strangers embrace it more than friends and family. It’s sad but the truth. Rico: All we can do is be consistent. Especially with social media. People can see right through you. Just keep on going as we are now. It’s worked so far. Don’t want to fix something that isn’t broken. Leo: There is a bit of pressure though. If you disappear from social media, people will forget you. When you come back, nobody really connects. You have to keep the momentum going. Reece: I don’t know if I would be on social media if I wasn’t a musician. And that’s part of the struggle. Waking up and telling people what I’m up to today … do I have to? But it is part and parcel. LV: What about as the female of the group … doing the social media thing … do you get treated differently online? Selz: As a girl I do get more likes for sharing music. But I feel like it’s my job to relate to the female fans. I told Reece too … if I wasn’t a musician I wouldn’t share my life as much. LV: Do your fans connect to the sound or vocals more? Leo + Selz both answer: I think it’s the sound first and then the vocals and the lyrics after.

LV: Your current project has just come out (Nov/Dec ’16) and you’ve started working on new sounds for the summer? Reece: We don’t rest or sleep - we live and breathe music. The first project ‘The Waiting Room’ was to raise awareness. LV: When you started - did you want to get signed immediately? Leo: Yes for sure … when I started. But when you do music you learn your worth. (I dreamt of a big house for my mum though). There is only one thing that appeals to me about being signed. It’s the financial backing. We wouldn’t look for it if we had this ourselves. Rico: Plus labels have a bad habit of wanting to change you. Reece: And you have to promote yourself. There are a lot of aspects to learn about the music business but it doesn’t affect our music. We have a big team behind us.

Young creatives like the Margin Kings aren’t pushing any agenda as such. They are doing something much more refreshing. They are being inclusive and are a segment of a generation not given much, if any airtime at all, within the (traditional) mainstream media.

LV: How do you guys communicate with each other daily, to stay on the creative page? Reece: Whatsapp. What you’re doing now (recording audio). It’s a technology based world so we use that to our advantage. LV: Some conversations for the journal have taken place as an insta chat actually. So social media is and has been really useful, and powerful. A lot of people in lets say ‘older generations’ don’t want to share their lives on social media. But aren’t they missing out on a whole new era of sharing? Reece: 100%. I’m not gonna lie. You can pick a lot of negatives out of it. But communication has become easier. There are a lot of positives.

As there are about this group. This conversation was a light hearted but insightful one … the kinds of conversation which would be incredible as a future podcast episode for sure.

Upcoming performances: The guys will be joining a great line up of performers at ’The Legacy Showcase' this Sunday night (15 JAN 2017 in Balham, South London). Venue: The Bedford, Bedford Hill SW12 9HD, 6pm til 11pm. Tickets: https://shoobs.com/events/16351/legacy-the-showcase. AND Boxpark Croydon (22nd JAN 2017), 99 George Street, Croydon CR0 1LD, at 1pm.

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