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#the usual laws of reality dont apply to me
phil-lesterfan · 4 months
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explaining to my irl that if i’m not cartoonish in nature i’m nothing
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itgomyway · 9 months
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understanding and “applying” non dualism 🪷
there is nothing to get with non dualism because YOU ARE EVERYTHING. i am being literal when i tell you that you dont gain or lose anything. you always are being. anything that can come and go with your awareness does. not. exist. YOU are the only real thing. just be.
“well how do i be?” this seems to be what people struggle with the most. theyre thinking of techniques that are usually associated with law of assumption and while not inherently wrong, its not non dualism. “doing” anything to “get” something contradicts what non dualism is about
you always are being. even “shifting your awareness” isnt a technique it is just what you do and is apart of who you are. what is the one thing your awareness stays on? YOU. no matter what you observe, u observe it through “your” pov. this is how you experience life. this is you
everything around you, whether physical or imaginary cannot exist unless YOU, the observer, is aware of it. i dare u to try to prove this wrong. believe me, as someone who loves learning i tried to think of a scenario where existence happens outside of my awareness and came up empty!
i cannot stress this point enough. no matter how many times or different ways you ask this question, the answer will always be the same. whether you believe in “non dualism” or not, things cannot exist unless youre aware of them. so what now? APPLY!
do you want a better job? okay then be aware that you always get the best job opportunities. how? you just did it. you just said you wanted a better job so now you have a better job. since everything is you and theres no separation, this happens INSTANTLY.
there is no difference between your imagination and your physical reality. none of what takes place in these perceived differently dimensions share a different level of awareness. it all comes from YOU and YOU are one. the only thing that validates smth as real is you.
awareness has no prejudice. it’s not the one that decides what is real and whats not, you as the observer do. you can really just breathe. whenever youre aware of something you dont like just observe the opposite. how? theres no “how” because theres no process it is instantaneous! life can be a game so HAVE FUN.
moral of the story? point of this post? NONE of this is real. its all temporary that comes and goes with your awareness. your creations are not your enemy, THEY ARE YOU! stop fighting with yourself and learn to work with yourself.
© itgomyway
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jealousmartini · 3 months
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HAPPY MARCH🥳
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`☆ ⋆ 。 It's the beginning of a new month! 。 ꕤ~ .
Quick confession. I didn't start the year the way I promised myself I would as a master manifester, a shifter and an art studentin college😭 plus today's the last day of my 2nd project and I will just say.. I didn't prioritise my time as well as I should have. So I'm not gonna let myself cry over wasted time along side incomplete work and lock in🤞🏽
But anyway I want to share my plan for this month. I am going to keep on top of:
☆ Journaling, Scripting and Vaulting
In my introduction, I said I would introduce myself as I would in my better current reality and really embody my drself. I'll be honest, the closest I have been to embodying my drself was daydreaming being my drself🧍🏿‍♀️ So I want to change that once and for all. I am sick of wishing I was her instead of realising I literally am her ffs.
So, I think vaulting as I am my drself and tracking my manifestation journey is an awesome way for successful embodiment. Because essentially when I am vaulting about my (dr)self, I am just affirming to myself about who I am by saying "I am this" or "I love having that" or maybe "my blah blah blah is so cute" and "I am so grateful that xyz".
☆ Practicing entering the void
Okay so I already understand that the void is nothing special (to me at least). The only reason why people think its special is because of the fact that you instantly recieve your desires once youve affirmed them when in the void (please for the love of god dont think you cant manifest instantly outside of the void. It is just a tool). It is literally just a deep meditative state. You are literally just meditating. It's the stillness state. The state of just being. Your I am-ness. So now that I have taken the void off the pedestal, I feel like I can enter the void anytime I try now and I will this march.
☆ Persistance/Loyalty to the new story
Something I've struggled with is persistance to my manifestations simply because of what I see in the 3D. Even when i've persistantly affirmed to myself for something not to happen or to get something, sometimes the opposit happens and I'll get what i didnt want.. but im content with it because it actually turned out alright, and I'll just settle for that. But whats really interesting is that Ive learned to always stay neutral to it anyway. I understand that nothing in the 3D has any meaning whatsoever. The the 3D is neutral and circumstances literally don't matter. Only I have power of the 3D and nothing in the 3D can have power unless I let it. And this applies to who i choose to identify as. Do i identify as someone who doesnt quite have everything she wants or do i identify as someone with everything i could ever want. So usually if I see something i don't like I'll just shake it off. Which brings me to
☆ Revision
Ive been in the loa community for 5 years and I learnt about revision 2 years ago through a revise your past subliminal. I didn't even know you could actually rewrite your past so this kind of opened me to really understanding the law of assumption applies to everything.
Since then I've been using revision subliminals here and there to revise certain scenarios and whatever, but I haven't really been using revision to its true potential. As I have learnt I can change the past, I will be vaulting/scripting my desired past through different eras of my life that I've already lived. So stuff like what highschool I went to and how I did in it, erasing unfavourable moments and replacing them with something better suited to me to align myself with my actual (dr)self
☆ Using general blanket affirmations and making specific affirmations that resonate with me to rewire my mindset and self concept
I already do this but 1. I don't do it as much as I'd like to and 2. I am altering the way I think about myself and everything in general. So I guess the way I used to affirm kind of felt robotic, forced and fake. So I figured I will use the generalised blanket affirmations I actually like to use and not the ones I'm told to use that I don't connect with, as well as make my own affirmations personalised to what I identify as and embody. This brings me to my next topic.
☆ Subliminals
Okay so I saw this post from another loa blogger talking about subliminals and they said that changing the reason why you use subliminals can really improve your manifestation journey. So instead of using subliminals to get something, use them to remind yourself you already have it. Use them to help you persist in in the fact that you are the version of yourself who HAS 1 million pounds or that you HAVE your dream life. Use them to REMIND yourself, you are already the version of you who has it. This goes for ANY and ALL subliminals by the way. Use your desired subliminals to repeat back what you identify as guys!
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────
MARCH IS MINE YOU GUYS DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND
Anyways Ciao!!😘
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Im so shy to tag but wtv!: @urimaginarygirlfriend @realistically-shifting @4ellieluv @faeriemarie
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firstprince-ao3feed · 5 months
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eat your heart out
eat your heart out https://ift.tt/4M3F5U1 by bestgirlever “Who? Oh, that’s Alex!” Percy loudly says. Henry knows he’s being his usual, extroverted self but he could kill Percy right about now. See, Henry didn’t have time to signal to Percy that he happened to know Alex. “Me, Alex! ‘Sup Percy?” Oh, Henry’s going to die here. “Alex! Pretty angel! I was just pointing people to my Henry, since he was absent yesterday.” Alex looks at him like he could reality TV fist-fight him if it came to it. “Yeah, he knows me.” he says simply. Oh, Henry did die he thinks. Okay… so, Alex doesn’t like him very much. Henry did know this, of course. Percy also knows of an Alex who doesn’t like Henry, and if his expression is anything to go by, he is currently making the connection between the two Alexs, which is that there aren’t two Alexs, they are the same Alex. - Because of a couple of misunderstandings, Alex kind of hates Henry. Henry gets to finally clear the air once he realizes they both will walk a fashion show for their best friends in 3 weeks. Words: 3352, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Multi Characters: Alex Claremont-Diaz, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Nora Holleran, Percy "Pez" Okonjo, June Claremont-Diaz Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Law Student Alex Claremont-Diaz, Misunderstandings, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Fashion & Couture, i dont know how else to tag this via AO3 works tagged 'Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor' https://ift.tt/fRwpedE January 03, 2024 at 12:50PM
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sistervirtue · 3 years
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okay so im seeing people get anons about this and its coming up in friend groups so i think now's actually a pretty good time to tackle the idea of religious (specifically cultic) abuse in media and how we as an audience interact with it
TLDR: dehumanization and sexualization of cult victims furthers the misunderstanding that cults "don't exist now", and RA survivors would feel much safer in fandom spaces if people acknowledged and analyzed the harmful portrayals of cults in media.
cw: discussions of cults, abuse, and sexual assault
also, if you have questions, please shoot me an ask or dm (off anon preferably, though)
let me start this with a disclaimer that i dont think every media that features ra is inherently bad. i think thats a bit harsh and as an ra survivor ive come to terms with the fact that there are going to be depictions of it in ways that maybe dont give it the respect it deserves, and trying to "what about [x]" everything will only lead people to talking in circles with themselves. what i want to address here is how you, as a consumer, respond to and parse out what cultic abuse means in any particular portrayal of it.
*also please don't harass people about their RAS status, like, if you see someone enjoying something with a less than stellar portrayal of cults, don't send them asks or dms like "well are YOU a cult survivor?" reducing the consumption of media to a yes or no game based on identity-- especially an identity that comes as the result of explicit pain and spiritual violation is not only derivative but also degrading to survivors and the people you're grilling. all we want is for people to think carefully about what they spread and portray, and how they think about those situations.
so, i think the first thing to tackle is...what is a cult? This is something that's surprisingly hard to define, especially in fictional settings with fictional cults. For example, (and pardon the use of this example, I don't feel like hunting for others), My Hero Academia has an organization in it that I would say fits the criteria for being a cult, but by and large isn't considered one by fans because it's not explicitly called a cult. (Although numerous cult jokes have been made about it). It also has an organization that IS explicitly referred to as a cult.
So, when you're dealing with how to process what is and is not a cult-- and how to make your presence safe for RA survivors, you have to be able to sift through more than just "did the narrative tell me this is a cult?"
There's a few different models people use; one of the most popular being the BITE model-- but I should clarify that the BITE model is really tailored towards religious and strictly hierarchal cults, but can be applied to other kinds of cults.
(and yes, there are cults other than religious/spiritual ones. corporate cults and wellness cults have been on the rise, and it's good to keep that in mind both when engaging with media and also in the real world.)
However, I'm a religious cult survivor, so a lot of my experience is strictly irt this, so please take what I say with a grain of salt, and know that I don't speak for every cult survivor, every religious cult survivor, or every religious abuse survivor. I am One Guy on the internet.
When it comes to media, I have a few questions I run through in order to figure out if something is A Cult.
1) Fringe Ideas. This one is one of those that most people know-- and often incorrectly use to attribute cult status to other things. However, it is worth mentioning, that you don't become a cult by following mainstream ideologies. BUT. BUT. not every group with weird ideas is a cult! Some groups are just weird and are fine being weird. It's a rectangles and squares situation. All cults have fringe ideas and behaviors, not all fringe ideas and behaviors belong to cults.
2) Hierarchies. Cults always have people in power, at least in my experience. There have been ideas thrown around about "completely decentralized cults"-- but to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about that concept, and I don't know enough about it personally to say whether or not it's legitimate. If you have any sources, hmu.
BUT. Most cults have a power structure. You're going to have leaders, usually with a handful at the verrrrry tippy top, whose word is law. This can be associated with things like religious ideas (channelling god) or being "a genius", like in corporate cults.
3) Control. I cannot stress this enough; cults are all about control. How you think, feel, behave-- they discourage critical thought, encourage snitching on each other, buddy-group behavior; the BITE model explicitly lists these models of control.
4) Us V Them. Cults will give all those that oppose them or simply don't believe them a bad name. They're uneducated, they're evil-- it varies cult to cult, but you'll see them turning the non believers into a homogenous, frightening group. They want to discourage looking outwards, and they want to viciously isolate members.
Other things of note are extremism, talks of enlightenment, harsh punishments, the cult eating large portions of the member's finances, etc.
However, this post is largely to address FICTIONAL cults. and the unfortunate fact of the matter is that fictional cults are rarely fleshed out in a way that can be held one to one to a model, and, more often, don't even afford the victims of a cult humanity.
and this is one of THE biggest issues you find in cult portrayals. the leader is usually a charismatic, or perhaps menacing, figure, one that usually our protagonists-- who are rarely cult victims, they are typically outsiders (not inherently bad, mind you)-- faces personally, with the hoardes of mindless zombies forming one giant hurdle.
Naturally, this can be...hurtful. There's nuance to who is and is not a victim in a cult (although my rule of thumb is to look at what abuses that person specifically exerts over others-- and you can be both a victim and perpetrator of abuse. to treat them exclusively is lacking all nuance), but the people are the bottom, even if they joined willingly, are people who were preyed upon. Not only that, but many media cults forget that people can be born into cults, and never really had a choice to begin with. To treat these people like they are mindless-- or that they deserve the suffering they are in because they are there-- completely erases all nuance, humanity, and understanding to the cult survivior struggle. Not only that, but it continues to sensationalize and deify cult leaders, which is doing their job for them, really.
The second biggest issue is the romanticization and sexualization of cults, religious abuse, and cultic abuse.
(yes...this is a thing.)
The use of cults as a way to make a character edgy or tragic is one thing, but there's something sinister about using it to project a certain sexual behavior onto that character-- whether it be as the subjugator or subjugated. Sexual abuse is rampent in cults, and ritualistic sexual abuse is used to justify it. To sexualize the idea of a cult(ist) raping and abusing someone is...beyond offensive to anyone who has been in a cult where their sexual safety and autonomy has been compromised. Or, in some cases, the cultist is so naive and sheltered they can be easily coerced and taken advantage of due to their brainwashing.
This is...bad? This is bad. To ignore the fact that these depictions are just as harmful as any other romanticization of abuse is to ignore the real suffering of cult victims.
Really, the larger problem is that people don't really think cults exist, not really. They're all things of the past, or things that exist solely in fiction-- when in reality, every day cults form and continue to grow. If you've ever met a mormon, you've met a cultist. The moment you begin to process and parce the fact that this isn't as bizarre and unusual and fictional as it seems, you take the steps to respecting people who have been in that situation and become better at detecting cults, cult recruitment, and are able to more clearly assess what you take in.
Once again, there's so many bad portrayal of cults that it would be...stupid to call for an immediate disowning of anything with it in it. I personally have come to terms with the idea that I will have gripes about these portrayals in most cases, but rarely do I see people other than fellow RA or cult survivors discussing these portrayals. I'm hoping people can become more aware and willing to discuss cults in a serious and analytical context and criticize how they're portrayed in the things they love.
And once again, cult survivors are NOT a monolith. If a cult survivor expresses they are uncomfortable with something I said here that I'm not, or vice versa, listen to the people who actively surround you and whom you care about.
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Ultimate Ship Meme: Azulaang
Rate the Ship -  
Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs
How long will they last? - Until I say so. I can see them being together after death as spirits.
How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Ooooh boy. Azula struggles to understand friendship. I think she'd fall in love fast and hard but take the longest to realize. Aang wouldn't let himself get attached at first because Azula is unapologetic and one of the things I like about Azulaang is how it would push Aang to deals with the nitty gritty gray, not in a The Fire Nation was right all along way but in how even Kyoshi and Roku's conflict resolution let to disagreements. I think it would take Aang longer to fall in but once they reach a semblance of common ground he'd be well aware he's falling in love and would enjoy the ride.
How was their first kiss? - Let's see my fanfics. In Blue it was awkward. In Weightless it was sweet. In Smut it was horny and hate filled. In canon I think their first kiss would be very passionate and then they snap back to reality and Aang would evade while Azula denies so they wouldn't talk about it but they'd for sure be thinking about the kiss.
Wedding:
Who proposed? - Technically Azula. As soon as Aang hears about a Fire Nation wedding, either his friends or he learns about Ozai and Ursa's wedding, his mind would be set on a wedding. He wouldn't say anything but he'd squirrel away relevant wedding information like he'd hear a song and go "I want that instrument to play at my wedding." But Azula would have her life planned out by other people and there'd be a set date where Ozai now Zuko are supposed to comb through suitor requests (it was probably Ursa's role. If she's there she'd talk to Azula directly instead of Lo and Li. I don't think Lo and Li are high enough rank to determine the suitor but I think it would be customary/expected for their input to be asked). Azula would tell Aang something along the lines of "I should be wed." and he'd agree and then Azula will spend an abnormally long time wondering if he married her because he liked her or because it's his duty until she asks him while he's discussing potential baby room colors pre wedding.
Who is the best man/men? - Sokka and Toph. Azula was going to pick Momo but he made a better flower girl. Yes she did this to annoy Zuko (and because Toph didnt want to wear the bridesmaid outfit) it's okay though Fire Lord Zuko was the guest of honor.
Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Katara, Suki, Mai, Ty Lee. Mai pretends she hates the outfit but she's secretly pleased.
Who did the most planning? - Aang did the most thinking but Azula did the most planning.
Who stressed the most? - Externally Aang. Internally Azula.
How fancy was the ceremony? -
Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.
100% Azula's fault. Aang has no clue what Fire Nation weddings are supposed to be like.
Aang: Wow I can't believe all weddings in your Nation are this big.
Azula: They're not. It's because I'm Royalty and you're the Avatar.
Though I hc that Aang wants to get married in all the different Nations and Azula secretly wants to experience a small wedding so they get married 3 more times with one of them being a very small Air Nation wedding.
Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Hmmm I'm not sure. On one hand, Ozai redemption. On the other hand, Ozai death.
Sex:
Who is on top? - Aang. Azula thinks she wants to be on top but she'd rather be pampered and Aang is more comfortable communicating and attending to needs. Aang has no strong preference either way and they do switch but this is their usual dynamic.
Who is the one to instigate things? - Azula but she denies it.
How healthy is their sex life? -
Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now
I think it's up to the reader's preference but I can see them being very private (Azula) and naturally talented (Aang) to the point where they assume every couple has sex daily. Hc that Aang and Suki talk about sex freely (ex: When I do __ should I __ or do girls prefer ___? I can never tell with Azula. Why do guys do ___ after ____ ? I've tried asking Sokka but he doesn't give me a straight answer.) Much to the fear of Sokka and Azula.
How kinky are they? -
Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head
Again up to the reader. They both like learning new things and are prodigies so I think they'd end up reading about things to try in bed (Azula) and would try things out to see what they like (Aang) until they learn what they and each other generally like/dislike.
How long do they normally last? - 
Does the Avatar State remove your refractory period? >;3c
Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - No. Aang likes overstimulating.
How rough are they in bed? -
Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.
Neither can dirty talk. Azula is rougher. Aang likes to take it slow. She sets the pace in the beginning but he decides when it ends.
How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -
No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.
Azula refuses to cuddle in public but in return they cuddle all night.
Children:
How many children will they have naturally? - hc them having twin boys at first with one firebender and one airbender because poetry. But Azula really wants a girl so they have a third child she is an airbender with Aang's charm and knack for getting in trouble and Azula's ruthlessness. Amon kidnaps her and instead of easily escaping (Aang's genes) she instead viciously mocks him the way only a preteen can (Azula's genes.) It's traumatic enough for Amon even before the parents show up. Then Aang wants another one and Azula wants another firebender so they do the do and surprise triplets! (maybe it has to do with ejaculatimg in the Avatar State lol) So 6 in total and lets say its 3 boys 3 girls with 3 airbenders 3 firebenders.
How many children will they adopt? - None. Azula is wary of motherhood and I know people like to hc Aang as adopting and while I can see him acting as a father figure to several kids I think he'd greatly prefer biological kids especially airbenders. It's a flaw that was barely touched upon and def not handled well in Legend of Korra.
Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Servants or Aang. After a kid or two Azula would be comfortable enough to change the diapers but it would still be mostly Aang.
Who is the stricter parent? - Depends on the kid. Aang is more lenient with airbenders and Azula with firebenders or girls. I can see Azula being strict with training & studies but not with sharing whereas Aang would have less rules but they'd be more heavily enforced (ex: no airgliding without supervision until you've mastered the safety course)
Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Azula. She's pretty lenient with the term dangerous esp. when it comes to firebending as long as basic safety measures are applied (ex: you can pracrice lightning as long as it's not pointed towards yourself aka dont be Zuzu) but Aang is of the mindset "How are you gonna learn airbending without dangerous stunts?" And after the first few incidents she started stepping in.
Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Azula but Aang cooks them.
Who is the more loved parent? - Appa
Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Azula. When Aang attends the teachers shower him and his kids with compliments ("You're doing so well teaching your kids the values of the Air Nomads. It must be so hard being The Last Airbender"). They do the same with Azula but unlike Aang she sees through it and manages to get an accurate assessment of how their kids are doing.
Who cried the most at graduation? - Aang was more happy than sad. Azula cried before and after.
Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Aang. He is a notorious lawbreaker. Azula would bail the kids and she could do so quicker than Aang in a few cases because of her connections but she'd be mad so their kids would rather call Aang or break themselves out.
Cooking: 
Who does the most cooking? - Tied. Aang at first but then Azula wants to learn and after Aang teaches her since she has less experience she finds more enjoyment in cooking.
Who is the most picky in their food choice? - 
Technically Aang since he's a vegetarian. Azula hasn't tried as many foods and she's used to not making a fuss at the family dinner table to the point of which Aang notices.
Who does the grocery shopping? - Both. Aang has a better eye for vegetables/fruits and Azula is better with prices (it's not about the cost it's about the value).
How often do they bake desserts? - Aang bakes them when he can/weekly. They're fruit based so if Azula doesn't want dessert he gives it to Momo or flings it at a target.
Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Gee I wonder. Aang eats salad Azula eats meat.
Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Aang but Azula tends to figures it out. Azula is more likely to plan a dinner but she wouldn't make it a surprise.
Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Aang but Azula is a close second. It would be a tie if it wasn't for the bathhouse.
Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Accidentally? Aang. On purpose? Azula.
Who cleans the room? - Servants or Aang.
Chores: 
Who is really against chores? - Azula hates cleaning up but she's neater.
Who cleans up after the pets? - Aang.
Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Aang.
Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Azula.
Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Aang.
Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Azula. In the Fire Nation Palace Aang has taken to chatting with Azula in the Royal Spa while he feeds her (and mostly himself) cherries.
Misc:
Who takes the dog Appa out for a walk? - Aang
How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Never. Once they like the room they like the room. If its an event they'll go to a different location for it or leave the Air Temple as is.
What are their goals for the relationship? -
To stay together.
Who is most likely to sleep till noon? -
Aang slept for a hundred years so I'll give it to him.
Who plays the most pranks? - Tie. They've both pulled elaborate pranks as kids.
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thisdreamplace · 3 years
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Hello how do i speed up results? I can have anything immediately theoreticly so how so i actually do that? i mean i heard about that girl who told her subconscious to grow taller and she grew like 4-6 inches or sth incredible like that OVERNIGHT! Thats crazy and shows how anything is possible but idk for me. How much faith and belief in myself would that need? im scared i'll not reach that stage of manifestig. I do get results ngl but im so tired of not having enough faith or whatever. I hope u get what I mean? In my mind i do know all this, align with god self have pure knowledge its gonna happen but... Not to be a downer, I just want to get real with u. Its not always so easy and effortless like we want. We dont always get what we want as or when we want. It sucks 😭 I know internally everything's perfect, I can and do have m desires i mean my inner-self does etc. But its not always so simple? For me at least I struggle and I want quick overnight results too. maybe im jealous of anyone who can effortlessly do it even if they get bad days. like everyone has them ik but thats not what I'm saying here. Im saying how do i make it to that level? Soon i won't have much time to devote to manifest the life I want, I can manifest small stuff easily and quickly but thats not enough is it? Do I make sense?
Hi!
To be entirely honest with you, when it comes to speedy results I'm not your gal. lmao I have gotten overnight successes, I have even gotten successes in hours and minutes. The issue is though, the times which have been intentional, is entirely hit or miss. Sometimes my manifestation comes to pass when I wanted it to, sometimes it doesn't. And overall, when it comes to the timing of my manifestations, I tend to take a rather hands off approach. Messing with time bothers me more than empowers me. So I usually don't deal with it.
How much faith and belief would you need? I like to think about this quote from the bible a lot, that says how all you need is faith the size of a mustard seed to move mountains. If you can move mountains with faith that small, surely you can manifest overnight will a small amount of faith too. I think the biggest key of all is realizing that you're the God of your reality. From that point forward, things start manifesting much quicker. I mean, I know this to be true. I've been getting day of successes lately, simply from knowing how imagining creates reality and I have that power within me. Focusing on how you're God of your reality is really important in all of this.
You're sooooo right it's not always effortless and easy like we want. You did not lie. lmfao I talk about this on my blog all the time, I try to be transparent about it. But I mean the amount of days and nights I've just crieeeeeeeeeed over everything. The amount of nights it felt like my world was ending because I felt I just couldn't apply the law right/just couldn't get what I want. There sure as hell are going to be difficult days. But it's up to us to choose love for ourselves, to choose faith, and to keep persisting. Eventually, it will be effortless and easy for all of us.
You make it to that level by prioritizing how you're the God of your reality. Build confidence in that, faith in knowing consciousness is the only reality. This isn't playing pretend, this is real. Your imagination is the creator, your 3D must follow along to your imaginal acts. Point, blank, period, it's the law. But you need to practice getting yourself out of that victim mindset. You too can be an overnight success, intend for it. Don't take no for answer. Expect wonderful things to happen to you, know how your life can change for the better at any second.
And it's not a bad thing you "won't have time to dedicate to manifesting." This isn't a technique. You don't need to make time to manifest. This is a constant thing, this is a lifestyle change. Approach it more in that way and you'll get more sustainable results.
Hopefully this is helpful! You got this! 💖
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primordialfell · 3 years
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Does the Worm Our God indulge in any of its creations in any way? Eating fruit it may grow, or drinking from the lakes it creates? Or does it only create for the sake of others to enjoy if at all?
ok so you sent me 4 of these (ty so much theyre such good questions i would die for y) so these are all gonna be compiled into one Big ask for the sake of not Spamming my dash let's start with this one LESSSGOOOOOO
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Eternatus has never been seen eating any of the things that it creates. Partially this is because when it terraforms an entire planet, it doesn't exactly create life from nothing; instead it lays the seeds for it and sows protein strands and archaebacteria around to allow for abiogenesis to happen (much like life first formed during the Cambrian Explosion) that will one day evolve into something. It finishes a planet, and then moves on.
Now, if Eternatus is adjusting the biosphere of a planet it's currently living on, it's very possible it will (unintentionally) eat one of the things it's made, but this is just because Eternatus is so gargantuan and requires such a colossal amount of food to sustain itself that it's bound to happen eventually. It only eats about once every four months and, given its size, usually needs to consume up to 415,000,000 calories in one sitting.
Fortunately Eternatus is a paracausal worm god with a hyperefficient digestive track (and fortunately it's mostly just a filter feeder), but there's a reason that the end stage of eternatus' life cycle is it exploding in a blast of bioenergy that invigorates all life on the planet for its hatchling egg to feast on before abandoning the planet for another one. One theory is that Eternatus shapes new worlds as its way of "giving back", that it understands its existence is a necessity and causes as much destruction as it does life, and that by making worlds where life can exist, it is returning life back to the universe where it takes it away.
more under the cut because i dont shut the fuck up
How does the Worm interact with space itself? Does it simply create resources from nothing, or take elements from gas giants and asteroids and the like? Furthermore, can it absorb energy from celestial bodies? Is the resources it consumes (whether for itself or for possible terraforming) limited in any way? Does it have a concept of moderation?
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So, in quantum mechanics (off to a great fucking start), information is typically understood as a property of the arrangement of particles. Effectively, take a bunch of carbon atoms, and arranged in a certain way creates graphite, while arranged in another way creates diamonds. It's nothing real or physical, just the knowledge and structures to how something is created. If you take those same carbon atoms, add them together with different atoms, and arrange them in a certain way, you'll get a person. Arrange them a different way and you'll get a palm tree.
There are basic laws of reality that apply to the universe; one of them is that matter and energy cannot be created or destroyed. Eternatus is subject to this law too. When it shapes planets and creates elements, it's not making them from nothing. It's simply reaching out and changing the information of the particles to make them into something different. The particles don't care what they're a part of or if they're making water or oxygen or hydrogen or even organic tissues; they change based on the information that makes them up. To humanity, this is basically space magic (although the concept exists; programmable matter is a legitimate sci fi concept).
Eternatus absorbs information from celestial bodies. It registers particles, atoms, waves of radiation, and all of these things to gain insight about the information in them, and in regards to how they might be changed. It carries great "stores" of particles and quantum material inside itself in the event it needs to whip something out for a planet and there isn't anything nearby--like the insides of a neutron star. This is one of the ways it avoids dying by starvation; everything is just particles and information, so if Eternatus devours rocks, there's nothing saying that by changing those particles to meat inside of itself using the information to warp their quantum structure should be impossible.
It's unclear why Eternatus is also judicious in the planets it chooses to shape. It generally avoids gas giants (however, to answer your question, they make excellent painting palettes to gather particles for reshaping), but it will change their moons. It might skip this world but focus on another. It might even give up on a world seemingly halfway through and leave for another. It's believed this might be because Eternatus is careful not to leave a trail of planets behind it in case it's being followed by something (because it is), in an effort to throw its pursuer off its trail.
However, it can't just not reshape. A gardener gardens, that's in the name, and so Eternatus must follow why it exists.
Is space utterly silent to Eternatus, or can it hear the radio emissions that planetoids give off?
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More than just that. Eternatus "hears" particles and radiation and all the information stored within. It can "hear" the cosmic background radiation of space and can hear the complex interactions of particles, electromagnetic fields, ionispheres, and magnetospheres that planets have. To us these sound like a shriek or wail of static and white noise and some people even consider them to be eerie. Eternatus regards these sounds as music. It understands the roar of the stars to be a whisper, a melody that sometimes arises out of random chaos.
It's unclear what Eternatus hears when it hears this music. It references the stars as if it speaks with them, and speaks to planets as if it says it is "persuading" them. Nobody's sure if this is metaphor or not; even someone with the Blessing of the Sky couldn't really tell. And so, sometimes, Eternatus will "sing" back to them. A roaring wail of gasps and shrieks that, to it, sound like a wonderful melody.
When asked what it's doing, Eternatus will simply say that it feels it necessary to tell someone. What it means by this is unknown.
What would Eternatus think of advanced aliens with the technology to terraform planets?
It's met and blessed several! It's uplifted some galactic civilizations before, in distant corners of the universe, arriving on primitive homeworlds and laying down seeds and gifting secret knowledges and answering mysteries for the universe. accelerating technology, lifespans, and terraforming their home systems to encourage expansions. It finds their work astounding and amazing for the limited resources that mortals have; sometimes it will touch up a planet or two here and there but it will mostly leave them be to do their own work, encouraging and aiding them from the sidelines. Eternatus has swam in the background of mighty cosmic empires that have reached out and forged alliances with their neighbors, each of them standing tall against the encroaching darkness of the universe.
Although, recently, it's a little more reticent to do this as often as it used to be when it was younger. After all, it DOESN'T ALWAYS END WELL.
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mamusings · 4 years
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Supernatural Season 2 thoughts
Continuing with my rewatch. This season kicks up several gears on season 1. Overall the storytelling is much better. There is a less formulaic approach to the even the MOTW episodes. Its inventive: you get one from the perspective of the ghost (Roadkill), two that layer in the boys run ins with the law. The first 4th wall breaker (Hollywood babylon), first alt reality (What is and what should never be) and I think the first straight up comic one (Tall Tales). This works much better. S1 episodes give you: a kill, work out the lore, find the creature and kill it right back. Instead of s1 espousing the lore and developing the brothers as a team, we now get to explore the show's moral compas and the complexity of what brotherhood means within it. I think Hollywood Babylon riffs off ditching the initial importance placed on accuracy in how Spn presented itself in it's own storyline. Yep we like story telling thank you, realism isnt really the point. The monsters and sub plots more clearly refract on the season themes and plot.
Supporting characters are another aspect of the shows blooming. They are a much more varied and interesting bunch. Gordon helps explore a key issue for the show - the distinction between being a hunter and a killer. Its significant he appears twice - it's a big issue. The psychics Andy and Ava are fun. Bank heist dude Ronald garners the right mix of derision and respect - I'm not sure spn homages to freaks and geeks hit the right note most of the time. And theres the Roadhouse crew and Bobby who really help flesh out what can become an overly confined universe.
The first third explores grief. You get the contrast in Sam and Dean's personalities in how they try to deal with John's death. But you also get the sense of them learning from each other as the season progresses. Dean tries talking. Sam tries keeping busy. Both grow while staying themselves. Nice. You also get a switch from s1 dominance of Dean's concern for Sam, with Sam's concern about Dean's increasingly high octane behaviour here and it's a nice switch. With grief you get guilt. Sam's is the easier too little too late regrets. Dean's is the motherload of guilt that John sacrificed himself for him. Given the shows dominant theology is Christian I find it hugely interesting that the focus here is on the receiver of the sacrifice. The overwhelming guilt Dean feels underpins the opening episodes, gets hammered home in Crossroads and then comes back for an even bigger bite when Dean does the same to Sam in the finale. Bobby's anger with Dean and Sam's devastation leaves me little doubt that as much as we all love that Sam is back, Dean did wrong here. Although maybe Dean's guilt comes from his low self worth. Sam might cope very differently?? But I do think the zombie episode declarations of 'what is dead should stay dead' make the point that thus wheeling and dealing with death cant be good. I personally find the idea that moral rules dont apply to Sam and Dean because of love is a weak one. I think fandom does spn a disservice by reducing something really complicated here into 'well they are soul mates'. Loving someone is not an excuse to chuck the rules out the window. But maybe the show itself descends into a moral free for all with no underpinning message and the blame lies there? I'm not sure. In a way that is what I'm trying to figure out with these commentaries.
What works better in explaining why Dean does to Sam what John did to him is the other big theme of season 2: the idea that right and wrong isnt black and white. This is the focus of lots of episodes some of which explore whether hunters are just killers. And others that explore at what stage something becomes evil and why. Both these questions are crucial in relation to Sam's destiny and how each of them should respond to that destiny. The first half of the season sees Dean trying out his fathers black/white approach and the hardening off of himself he thinks he needs to achieve in order to kill Sam should that becomes necessary. Its the mid season finale that finally answers that one for Dean. Sam goes proper bad, Dean doesn't kill him. Along the way, with Sam's prompting, Dean questions not only his father but also the morality he had assumed of his hunting so far. How Dean outgrows John is a huge theme for me. I find it fascinating because he remains the same kind of man as John. Tough, difficult etc he diesnt become Sam. What he changes ir accepts are that what he prizes isnt what John prizes, but rather the people he loves and he learns that this isnt a failing or a weakness. But it's a long long road.
Sam wrestles with the fact that he may turn evil trying to find ways to hope and ways to cope. He takes a leaf out of the Dean playbook at gets drunk. He prays. He looks for a safety net getting Dean's to promise to off him. Dean promises to save him, but the message in Heart is that sometimes the only way to save someone is to kill them. However, the other message is solving things one step at a time, making the right play for the circumstances and not drawing one arbitrary line somewhere - be it between people and non-people or even that evil acts make you irredeemably evil. Slippery stuff, but that's what makes it interesting.
One thing I really like in this season is how the brothers begin to influence each other. They are still a study in contrasts, but they try out each others approaches and they've learned to value what the other brings to the table. As Sam says in the opener they have just started to be brothers again. Their relationship is so supportive that the comic Tall Tales reminding us how much they wind each other up is a needed counterpart lest things get just too damn sweet. The disturbing siblings at the centre of 2 episodes is also sends the message that it ain't all roses too. Andy has an actual evil twin. The ending of Playthings with the sisters is filled with creepy foreboding is particular to this episode. One sister gives her life up for the other and it feels wrong. Of course its foreshadowing other famous brothers but let's leave that alone just now.
In terms of Sam and Dean, their brotherhood seems to have kicked the S1 Sam and Dean team up into formidable. Their run-ins with law enforcement moves our perception of them beyond boys hunting into being increasingly impressed as they outwit cops and feds. It also moves their interactions with outsiders beyond gratitude from victims towards validation from peers and this feels important. There's the seamless teamwork with code words and all. But more importantly trust and loyalty - Sam is unswayed under police questioning in The Usual Suspects. Folsom Prison Blues most explicitly highlights Dean's almost fanatical sense of loyalty and paying your dues.
This pays off in the final two parter. As strong as All Hell Breaks Lose 2 is, part 1 is a yawn fest. But what is interesting is that while Sam does his best to found a team, Azazel can just pluck them off one by one by appeals to each person's individual self interest. The only one of the psychics who gets that the only way to win is to stick together is Sam. In my view Sam learned this from Dean. Dean is always playing the stronger together card. At this point in the show, brotherhood is about solidarity, trust and loyalty. That's actually the message here far more than love. Of course they love each other. But that alone wouldn't have got them this far. What gets them here is sticking together. When Dean finally surpasses John in killing Azazel he gets his moment of John unqualified approval and love. But right after comes the key dialogue of the season. Sam says 'you did it' and Dean replies 'I didnt do it alone'. That seems to me to highlight what's been going on so far. Learning not to do it alone. Learning to lean on and accept others. That's where the Winchester boys outgrow their upbringing and themselves.
Addendum: the angel episode House of the Holy deserves a mention. Its so finely balanced between being about angels and not when viewed on it's own. Its only on rewatching that the effects and props leave you in no doubt that even if F. Gregory isn't an angel this episode is about angels. Its curious as to why it's in season 2 rather than maybe in s3 - no angel appears until season 4. I refuse to count Gabriel in s3 as an angel appearance as he's for many seasons yet still just the trickster. So why? Maybe it's to help us understand the significance for Sam? Angels give Sam hope - making it even more awful for him that he is the object of their suspicion. Or is it about the need for faith, which tellingly Dean hadn't got.
#supernatural #spn #sam #dean #winchester
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Is it okay that I dont see my boyfriend during this pandemic? He asks me to come over but I don't think it's the best idea to, because it's advised we isolate and my job (that I have to go to because we haven't shut down) is high risk because I'm a cleaner at a venue so I see multiple different people and clean up gross things everyday, but he says that because I can go out to work then I can go out and see him. I dont want to hurt his feelings but I dont think he's seeing the big picture
There really isn’t precedent for this sort of thing. So suffice it for me to say, but you should probably follow the laws. The county I live near just went on mandatory shelter-in-place, which generally means going out for any reason at all. If you’re in an area where that’s happening, just make sure you’re following the rules and regulations outlined by your local officials. Last thing you want is to go to meet your boyfriend and get a citation for breaking travel restrictions. 
But let’s say that you’re not sheltering-in-place. Should you still see your partner? 
I think that really comes down to preference. A cleaner isn’t inherently a high-risk job; the level of risk rises with the amount of people you’re meeting with, not just because you’re interacting with gross stuff. As long as you’re cleaning with appropriate attire on and not licking doorknobs and stuff, you will probably be fine on the front of getting sick, and seeing your partner won’t be that big of a deal. 
The thing to take into account, however, is that Coronavirus is INCREDIBLY easy to transmit. And moreover, people can be asymptomatic for a very long time, and may not show any severe symptoms at all. This means that if you’re infected, but don’t realize it, you could be a risk to essentially everyone around you. How likely is that to actually happen? Again, depends on the generalized risk, depending on way too many factors. 
It also needs to be reminded that young people are not immune to Coronavirus. Just because older folks are at the highest risk doesn’t mean the rest of us aren’t. Even if most of us just weather the virus and get on it, there are new figures rising that say young people who do get sick can get severely ill. Quoted from here:
But of the 508 patients known to have been hospitalized, 38 percent were notably younger — between 20 and 54. And nearly half of the 121 patients who were admitted to intensive care units were adults under 65, the C.D.C. reported. 
Nobody wants to get sick with this. And your boyfriend may not be taking it seriously, but it is serious. At the same time, humans need connection, and it’s perfectly natural to want to see the people that care about you. You just have to go into doing such things with the full acceptance that something bad might happen, and decide whether that risk is worth it for you. 
________
As a final note for this, because I’m sure there are many reading this who are in a similar position of wanting to see their loved ones, but are not sure what to do. I’m just going to assume that all of us are dumb monkeys with smartphones, because that’s what we are, and we’re very frequently going to make very stupid decisions in our own self-interest. 
Thus, if you’re considering or planning to visit your romantic partner while self-isolating, here is a quick rundown of things to take into account.  
First, when should you NOT see your partner? 
Are you around sick people? This applies especially to anyone working in a hospital, grocery store, or with other essential services. You’re around a lot of people. Just don’t do it.
Are you feeling under the weather? It doesn’t matter if it’s the cold, a simple cough, the flu, or actual coronavirus. If you’re not feeling well, STAY HOME. 
Have you been to a high risk area recently? This includes anywhere that a lot of people were. The beach, Disneyworld, foreign country, concert. Doesn’t matter. If you were recently around a huge number of people, STAY HOME and see if you develop symptoms. 
Does the law say to stay home? Obey the law. 
And then, assuming you ARE seeing your partner because you simply can’t help yourself, how can you make sure you’re not getting them sick? 
WASH YOUR HANDS. You should already be doing this all the time anyway, and if you don’t know how, a video is here and down below. But first thing you do when you get to your partner’s house, WASH YOUR HANDS. No hugs, no spanks, no nothing. Straight to the sink with you. 
STRIP. Man, who knew coronavirus was so sexy? But seriously, take off your damn clothes. If you drove from your house to theirs by yourself, it’s no big deal. But if you were out and about, interacting or nearby other people, or on public transit, why bother taking the risk of the virus being on your clothes? Bring a clean set of clothes with you, and change into them immediately. Leave them in a corner of the room or in your bag until it’s time to go home, and don’t interact with them. This way, if by some weird circumstance the virus IS on your clothes, you can get all cuddly without transmitting it from surface to your partner, or to yourself. Personally, being a bit of a germaphobe myself, this is the first thing I do any time I get home. 
WASH AND SHOWER. Again, this mostly applies if you were in public or on public transport, especially at your work. But go ahead and take your shower first thing. If you have coronavirus on you, it could be on your skin, on your hair, on your face. It’s invisible, so there’s no way to know. So just take a shower! Easy peasy, and you’ll be smelling great. 
SEXY TIME ANNOUNCEMENTS. Let’s be clear, coronavirus gets into the body through - usually - us dumb humans getting it on our hands, and touching our eyes, nose, mouth, ears, etc. So can you be sexy with your partner? GOOD QUESTION, and I don’t have the answer. So don’t take the risk with your dirty hands. If you want to be physically affectionate, follow the rules above: wash up thoroughly just to make sure.  The other concern is if you have the virus, and you start making out or smashing your partner, you could be spreading the virus. Again, this is no guarantee, and I’m no healthcare professional. But just be aware that this is directly putting yourself and your partner at risk in the event either one of you have the virus. Just be careful, and don’t be a hero if one person’s sick, and the other’s like, “I DON’T MIND I LOVE YOU.” Not this time, player. 
SHARING IS NOT CARING. Lots of partners will frequently share lots of things. Anything from cups and finger-foods, to as much weird stuff as toothbrushes, hairbrushes, and other stuff. Firstly, don’t share tooth or hairbrushes with people, that’s super unhygienic. But secondly, consider sharing less for now. If you or your partner share a cup of water, that’s one more opportunity for someone who has the virus in their system to pass it. Go reenact the Lady in the Tramp spaghetti scene later; right now, just use your own silverware, your own cups, your own plates, etc. 
BE AWARE OF WHO THEY SPEAK TO. The whole point of social distancing is that we’re interacting with the minimum number of people possible. If you and your boyfriend are only seeing each other, and nobody else beyond your work, that’s an OKAY scenario. Not great, but not bad. But if either you or your boyfriend are also visiting family, visiting other friends, going to their own job, etc., this should be a hard no-go.  Social distancing only works if we literally distance ourselves socially. That sucks, but it’s for the sake of everyone. If your boyfriend is visiting his other friends, his family, his coworkers, then you two should be highly aware of the web of people you’re interacting with. You’re already taking a risk by associating with one another; if you two are socializing as per normal, that’s just not good in any way.
Again, I’m not a healthcare provider. Listen to other people before me. But I know how hard it is to deny yourself contact with your significant other. It’s hard on everyone. And I know people are going to do it out of some romantic sense of love, and I can’t stop anyone from doing that. 
My goal here is to minimize the damage. PRACTICE SOCIAL DISTANCING, even when it sucks. Make sure you’re interacting with the minimum amount of people as possible while anyone around you might be sick. If that means that the sucky reality is you won’t get to see your partner very much, then that’s just life. Have internet dates, find other ways to associate. There are alternatives. 
And wash your fuckin’ hands. 
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tumblunni · 5 years
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I had a really weird dream involving Dr Maddiman. Its a shame i can barely remember any of it and also it seems i woke up before it ended? Like i just had this overwhelming sense that allll the plot threads were gonna be wrapped up any second now and then BOOM awake. So just a whole bunch of random stuff happened with no real explanation at all.
It was some sort of post apocolyptic setting i think? Humanity was in these small isolated cities fighting against some sort of invading army but we never actually saw the aliens themselves. And some part of my brain was like "it makes sense its the same rules as a hairdresser and the design takes cues from a pack of AAA batteries". I have NO idea what that means! So basically everythibg was super vague and undescribed and dream-me just had a sense of already being a long time fan of this series and knowing enough to fill in the gaps. Apparantoy this was some sort of adaptation of a thing id already seen, but id been told the ending was different and more accurate to the manga? Also i wasnt actually a person watching this show i was still the protagonist of the show yet i acted like i'd been reincarnated and relived this week a million times or something
ANYWAY the way dr maddiman comes in is that he was some sort of 'brilliant but dangerous' expert the government had hired to help our fight against the aliens. It wasnt really explained why he was.. yknow.. maddiman. Like is this meant to be that ghosts also exist in this sci fi universe? Was he a half alien hybrid instead of a yokai? Was it just human maddiman with the personality of yokai maddiman due to ptsd...? In any case he didnt seem entirely tethered to the laws of reality and nobody knew exactly how he pulled off all his scientific miracles. He was treated as the only guy who could understand the mindset of the aliens, but that also made him dangerous because he trapped in the delusion of everything being okay and fun and happy and he often did evil things by accident while having good intentions. But they didnt have anyone else who'd cracked the code of the alien weaponry so they had to put up with him. He was just sorta assigned a crack team of secret agents whose job was Be The Old Man's Friend So We Dont All Die. Dont let him realise how the world is all destroyed and such, just play along with his goofyness and try and remind him to do his important work while dancing around why its important. it was super creepy how he was locked up and gaslighted like this!! And he was all 'oh im sure when im done with my ultimate experiment i can go home to my wife and kids' and yeah it was implied here that the same backstory applied :( 'distract the old man and validate his false opinion that his family is still alive and waiting for him' :( poor sci fi madds :(
Oh also for some reason he seemed to be wearing elements of Adventure era Dr Eggman's outfit? But just the general style of the coat and the wearing goggles that he never actually uses. And he had a very warm and cuddly autumnal colourscheme
Anyway i was part of the Super Secret Grampa Cherishing Division whose job was to act as his assistant but also secretly be packing a bazillion weapons to neutralize him if he poses a danger to humanity. But i started to genuinely care for the guy and question the 'any atrocity is permitted for the sake of saving the world' philosophy of my bosses. Also it was just very weird how it was this post apocolypse alien fighting action thing yet i didnt see ANY OF IT cos this story was confined to this one laboratory. It was surreal hearing about all this stuff happening offscreen!
I think Maddiman's main project was some sort of dimensional transport thing using salvaged alien tech? It was just a door in his lab that usually led to a closet but if he got it working itd teleport us straight to the alien base and save the world. And a lot of it wasnt explained but i got this great sense that itd all come together with a great twist ending evebtually but then i woke up before i got that far. Same for the reveal of this maddiman's new sci fi backstory and soooo many other dropped plot threads. Alas!
So anyway: closet. Closet with one of those bead curtain things cos i was thinking about them when i fell asleep. It was supposed to be a teleport but when it malfunctioned it had really scary negative effects warping people's biology and stuff. I remember one of the test subjects was sent in for a five day trip to a specific alternate dimension but then when they came back itd been several years and theyd had to survive in a deadly wasteland and been mutated into a hellbeast. And maddiman had a huge breakdown because he felt like his recklessness and optimism towards this experiment had caused this mistake to happen, and he'd never realized just how awful the consequences could be. He was babbling motor mouth discussing theories for where it went wrong and there was something like 'we'd only tested it for one day trips and assumed that just programming two of them would equal two days but actually with each additional number on the screen it multiplies the days by 3" And there was something about like...the bead curtain was the machine rather than the door itself? Like trying it on a bunch of different doors around the lab to try and find a way to cure this person.
And there was some sort of artificial intelligence computer with the personality of an adorable lil girl, who helped maddiman do calculations and stuff. She missed the mistake in this calculation cos her concept of linear time and the limits of human organs was kinda undeveloped. She only existed within the realm of numbers after all, and didbt even have functionality to record footage of her human friends's faces. No idea wtf a human looks like! So maddiman was lost in his desperate grief of potentially accidebtally killing or at least mentally scarring a person and the government would probably kill them now if they saw they were a super mutant. And he was sobbing and begging this AI to help, his last resort was her maybe being able to see a brainwave that he'd missed. But she was freaking out cos she didnt even fully understand why maddiman was crying let alone what to do to fix it. Eventually she did manage to find a solution theough some simple different logic thing that she had from her perspective as a computer. And that person was saved but still traumatized and maddiman had a moment of realizing just how high stakes everything was and freaking out. He was like 'whats wrong with my head, why didnt i notice that, why was i so reckless, why cant i seem to grasp basic human logic that i need right now" Having a big existential crisis of 'wait how did i even get in this lab, where's my family and why do i seem to have superpowers'. Protagonist mission: hide all the goddamn mirrors to avoid this weird ghostgramp (...aliengramp??) from realizing he's dead (..or an alien??) and losing control of himself. And everyone was running around talking about 'containment procedures' and poor maddiman didnt know that if his panic attack continued he might just straight up be killed for outliving his usefulness. So the protagonist was desperate to help him calm down and it sucked SO MUCH cos they had to lie about his past and weave the web of deception around him again for his own safety. In the end they just hugged him close until he calmed down, and all the other employees were like GASP THEY ACTUALLY TOUCHED THE EVIL DANGEROUS SUPER EVIL MAN and protag was like 'i am 1% away from slapping the next bitch who insults this grandpa'. And it was super depressing cos once he'd calmed down he seemed to start forgetting that anything bad had ever happened?? And he was really panicking and scared cos he didnt understand why he was forgetting, and he knew he had to cling onto something important but he didnt know what. And then five minutes later he was back to haha cheerful nothing is wrong and i love doing my fun science in this room im never allowed to leave. And protagonist was crying the tears that this poor gramp wasnt allowed to cry :(
Also actually i think maybe he was a ghost AND an alien? Like he was a scientist who died in some sort of tragedy back when the aliens first invaded, but along the way he'd been infected so his body got back up as a twisted combination of human and inhuman. And this was something unique to him, like he just happened to have a genetic mutation in his blood that was totally undetectable in life but happened to mix unpredictably with this alien virus to turn him into a hybrid instead of just killing him. So the government was very interested in finding a way to replicate this and create new supersoldiers, as well as just taking advantage of this dude's confused mental state that granted him a unique understanding of alien tech that made him more effective than other scientists. And, of course, also made him easy to manipulate :(
And i also had a feeling that maybe his backstory was mixed up with Adventure dr eggman? Like here it seemed he had a daughter instead of a son, and she had a similar death to Maria Robotnik where she was assasinated by the government he worked for, and it tipped him over the edge. I think Maddiman-alien-scifi-dude originally died trying to save her from being used in some sort of experiment? Like she was already dying of a disease and thats why maddiman took this job to have access to powerful government technology to try and look for a cure. But when the whole alien apocolypse happened, the evil government decided to use her for experiments cos she was 'basically dead anyway'. Theyd just lie and tell maddiman she died of her illness. So this was how they found out that this particular family's bloodline had a mutation that let them form a viable hybrid with alien dna. They were turning this poor kid into a monster in the basement while lying to her dad about her being dead! And maddiman was about to commit suicide from having no reason to live anymore, with the hell of this apocolypse world and the false impression that his kid was already dead. But somehow monster-daughter sensed this or something and broke out of containment to try and save him, and when he saw her he was able to recognise her even in her twisted state. So when the soldiers gunned her down in front of him and fed him some lies about this not being his daughter, he just completely snapped. He tried in vain to fight back and take down as many of them as possible in revenge, but well he was just a simple round dad with no ability to fight a government. So he was unceremoniously executed along with his kid and they shoved the bodies back in the lab to continue testing. "Damn that overemotional science dad, he made us execute our most valable test subject! But at least this way we can analyze his corpse to see if the mutation is passed down on the patrilineal side." But at some point during the fight, monster-daughter's blood had splashed on her dad and gotten into his bloodstream. So the seemingly dead body suddenly got up out of the morgue and started sucking people's blood or something. And this led to the current situation where they have him locked up cos he's a valuable test subject but also hey he has 100% reason to kill all of us and we're screwed if he remembers his past. Also i think the computer AI thing was his subconcious attempt to recreate the personality of his daughter even if he couldnt remember she'd ever existed :(
Anyway at some point things escalated and there was this final showdown versus both the invading aliens and the evil governmebt guys. I think there was some corrupt greedy politician dude who stole maddiman's teleporter tech and sold us out to the aliens cos he wanted money and power or something. And probably predictably the aliens just threw him off a bridge after he gave them the thing, because seriously even this evil army thinks these government dudes are too evil!
So this big actiony event was happening and Maddiman was freaking out like 'no no no i cant leave the lab everyone wpuld be mad at me, i dont even know what its like outside this room' even when he was in the middle of being attacked by aliens. He was forced to face his repressed memories to survive, and he naturally had a massive fuckin freakout! And i think maybe when protagonist character was trying to protect him he accidentally lashed out with his powers and hurt them, and he was so horrified thinking another person he cared about was gonna die because of him. Protagonist was like 'dont worry gramps its just a scratch' but he'd already freaked out and run away into the battlefield to his heavily implied death.
BUT THEN at some sort of moment of dire need, he came back all powered up and re-memoried and was like 'i have every reason to despise humanity but im not gonna let more children die because of these damn corporate monsters (and also literal monsters which are infinately less scary)" And he did some sort of great sacrifice to save the protagonist at the cost of his own life, and it was super dramatic falling from a building into a lake of fire or something. While sobbing and smiling peacefully thinkibg "did i atone for my sins? Will i be able to see my family again?" As his smiling face sunk beneath the flames and the protagonist cried out into the abyss...
Aaaaand then i dont really know what happened in the big battle and i also never found out wtf the solution was to fixing the transporter thing or how the aliens invaded or any of the million plot points that were non gramp related.
I just remember that when we all saved the day and defeated the baddies we found that maddiman had actually survived and it was a big hugs reunion. He was like "OH YEAH i totally forgot i literally already died once and regenerated from it, and this was the entire start to my story. My bad!" *shrugs inexplicably not dead arms*
So yeah in summary im glad my brain summoned up a universe where my favourite sad granddad is literally immortal now, but also why did it torment him with an even sadder plot than his original one
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woodsens · 4 years
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Where to Find Guest Blogging Opportunities on fireinsidemusic.com
Correction Appended
On an album of bittersweet childrens tracks that she wrote greater than ten years in the past, the lady who arrived for being acknowledged only as being the piano Trainer offered what, in hindsight, seems like an eerie glimpse of her possess foreseeable future.
Im shifting away right now to a place so far-off, where by nobody is aware my identify, she wrote while in the lyrics of a tune known as Relocating.
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When she wrote that music, she was young and vivacious, a piano teacher and freelance songs writer who beloved Beethoven and jazz, sunsets and river Seems, extended walks and every little thing about New York.
On a type of beloved walks, by means of Central Park in the bright sun of a June working day in 1996, a homeless drifter beat her and tried to rape her, leaving her clinging to everyday living. Once the assault, the terms to her track came legitimate. She moved away, away from New York City, away from her previous lifestyle, and all but her closest mates didn't know her identify. To the remainder of the planet, she was — much like the additional famous jogger attacked in Central Park 7 many years before — an nameless symbol of the urban nightmare. She was the piano Trainer.
Now, over the 10th anniversary of your assault, she is celebrating what appears to be her entire recovery from brain trauma. She's 42, married, with a small child. She's Kyle Kevorkian McCann, the piano teacher, and she or he wants to notify her story, her way.
Her health care provider informed her it will choose 10 years to Recuperate, and Sunday was that talismanic anniversary. I experience my life is redefined by Central Park, she claimed many days in the past, her voice comfortable and hopeful. Just before park; immediately after park. Will there at any time be described as a time After i dont think, Oh, This can be the tenth anniversary, the eleventh anniversary?
She spoke in her modest ranch home in a very wooded subdivision within a Ny suburb. She sat in a eating home strewn with toys, surrounded by photos of her cherubic, darkish-haired two-year-outdated daughter. A Steinway grand stuffed fifty percent the space, and at one particular point she sat down and played. Her enjoying was forceful, but she seemed embarrassed to Participate in quite a lot of bars, and shrugged, as an alternative to answering, when questioned the title from the piece. She asked that her daughter and her town not be named.
She calls that working day, June four, 1996, the working day Once i was harm.
Hers was the first in a very string of assaults by a similar man on four Women of all ages around 8 days. The final victim, Evelyn Alvarez, 65, was crushed to Dying as she opened her Park Avenue dry-cleansing store, and ultimately, the assailant, John J. Royster, was convicted of murder and sentenced to everyday living in jail.
But the attack over the piano Instructor may be the just one persons look to recollect quite possibly the most. A part of the fascination should do with echoes of your 1989 attack around the Central Park jogger. But In addition it frightened individuals in a means the attack to the jogger did not mainly because its situation had been so mundane.
It didn't happen inside of a distant Portion of the park late at nighttime, but near a favorite playground at three during the afternoon. It might have took place to any one. The tension was heightened with the mystery with the piano lecturers identification.
For 3 times, as police and Physicians attempted to discover who she was, she lay in a coma in her clinic bed, nameless. Her mothers and fathers were on getaway and her boyfriend, also a musician, was in Europe, on tour. Last but not least, one among her learners regarded a law enforcement sketch and was ready to identify her from the healthcare facility by her fingers, since her deal with was swollen further than recognition. The police didn't launch her name.
The very last thing she remembers about June 4, 1996, is supplying a lesson in her studio condominium on West 57th Street, then putting her extended hair in a very ponytail and heading out for the stroll. She doesn't keep in mind the assault, although she has read the accounts with the police and prosecutors.
To me its like a reality I realized and memorized, she claimed. As though I were being a pupil at school researching historical past.
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She will not consider the man who did it. I might need been angry for any minute, although not much longer than that, she stated. How could I be indignant at John Royster? He was declared not crazy, but I guess by our standards he was.
Dr. Jamshid Ghajar, her medical doctor at New York Clinic-Cornell Professional medical Heart, as it was identified in 1996, explained to reporters that she had a ten % potential for survival. Medical professionals had to get rid of her forehead bone, which was later changed, to produce space for her swelling Mind. When her mother made a community attract pray for my daughter, thousands did.
Immediately after eight days, she arrived away from a coma, first within a vegetative state, then within a childlike condition. As she recovered, she slept small and talked continually, at times in gibberish. I was receiving mad at people after they didnt respond to these terms, she mentioned.
Like an Alzheimers individual, she experienced minor brief-term memory and would fail to remember readers the moment they left the place.
youtube
More than many months, she needed to relearn tips on how to wander, dress, read and compose. Her boyfriend, Tony Scherr, frequented every single day to Participate in guitar for her. He encouraged her to play the piano, from the advice of her Actual physical therapists, who believed she could be disappointed by her incapacity to Participate in just how she once had. Mr. Scherr performed Beatles duets along with her, enjoying the left-hand element though she played the right.
That was my finest therapy, she said.
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In August, she moved back again property to New Jersey, together with her father, an engineer, and mother, a schoolteacher. She visited aged haunts and called good friends, hoping to restore her shattered memory. I was incredibly obsessive about remembering, she reported. Any memory reduction was to me a sign of abnormality or deficit.
Her therapists considered her development was fantastic, but her two sisters protested that she wasn't the deep thinker she had been.
What bothered her most was that she experienced dropped the ability to cry, just as if a faucet within her brain had been turned off. One particular evening, 9 months following she was harm, she stayed up late to observe the John Grisham Motion picture A Time to Eliminate. Just immediately after her father had long gone to mattress, she watched a courtroom scene of Samuel Jacksons character on trial for killing two Adult males who experienced raped his young daughter.
The faucet opened, along with the tears trickled down her cheeks. I thought about my mom and dad, my father, and the things they went by means of, she mentioned. Minimal by very little, my experience returned, my depth of mind returned.
Urged by her sisters, she went back to high school and acquired a masters diploma in new music education.
Not everything went effectively. She and Mr. Scherr break up up 5 years after the attack, though they remain good friends. She dated other Adult males, but she often informed them concerning the attack immediately — she could not support it, she explained — they usually under no circumstances called for a second date.
We've got to search out you anyone, her Good friend David Phelps, a guitar participant, said four many years ago, ahead of introducing her to Liam McCann, a computer technician and newbie drummer. For as soon as, she didn't say just about anything concerning the attack right up until she bought to learn Mr. McCann, after which you can when she did, he admired her energy.
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Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who had usually frequented her at her bedside when she was during the healthcare facility, married them in his Situations Square Business. She wore a blue dress and pearls. Whilst she was pregnant, inside a burst of creativeness, she and her pals recorded Even though Have been Youthful, an album of childrens tracks that she had created prior to the attack, including the song Transferring. Her ex-boyfriend, Mr. Scherr, developed the CD. On it, her spouse performs drums and he or she plays electrical piano.
Is her existence as it absolutely was? Not precisely, however she's reluctant to attribute the differences to her injuries. Her final two piano students remaining her, without contacting to explain why, she explained. She has resumed taking part in classical new music, but basic pieces, because her daughter won't give her the perfect time to apply. As for jazz, I dont even check out, she stated.
She wish to push much more, sensation stranded within the suburbs, but she is easily rattled. She tries to be information with keeping dwelling and caring for her daughter.
Dr. Ghajar, a clinical professor of neurological surgical treatment at exactly what is now termed Ny-Presbyterian Medical center/Weill Cornell Health-related Centre, who operated on Ms. Kevorkian McCann after the assault, reported previous week that her level of recovery was scarce. Shes essentially typical, he said.
Other industry experts, that are not Individually knowledgeable about Ms. Kevorkian McCanns case, are more careful.
Regaining a chance to Participate in the piano may perhaps require an Virtually mechanical procedure, a semiautomatic remember of what the fingers have to do, said Dr. Yehuda Ben-Yishay, a professor of scientific rehabilitation drugs at Big apple College College of Drugs. As soon as brain-hurt, you are often brain-injured, For the remainder of your life, Dr. Ben-Yishay reported. There isn't a get rid of, There is certainly only intense payment.
The greater telling Element of a Restoration, in his look at, is psychological, and on that score he counts Ms. Kevorkian McCanns relationship and youngster as a major victory.
For her aspect, the piano Instructor knows she has adjusted, but she has produced her peace with it. I had been type of a hyper —— I dont know if I used to be a kind A, but I used to be formidable, she states. Why was I so ambitious? I had been a piano Trainer. I dont know what the ambition was about. I actually did return to the person Im designed to be.
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emilyl-b · 4 years
Text
10 Sites to Help You Become an Expert in best beginner keyboard piano
Correction Appended
On an album of bittersweet childrens music that she wrote greater than a decade ago, the girl who came to get known only given that the piano Trainer available what, in hindsight, seems like an eerie glimpse of her personal future.
Tumblr media
Im shifting away currently to an area so far-off, wherever no one is familiar with my name, she wrote in the lyrics of a track named Moving.
When she wrote that tune, she was youthful and vivacious, a piano teacher and freelance new music writer who loved Beethoven and jazz, sunsets and river Appears, extended walks and everything about New York.
youtube
On one of those beloved walks, by way of Central Park in the brilliant Solar of the June day in 1996, a homeless drifter defeat her and made an effort to rape her, leaving her clinging to existence. Following the assault, the text to her track arrived genuine. She moved absent, out of New York City, out of her old everyday living, and all but her closest buddies didn't know her title. To the remainder of the world, she was — similar to the more famed jogger attacked in Central Park seven many years before — an anonymous image of an urban nightmare. She was the piano Trainer.
Now, to the 10th anniversary of your assault, she is celebrating what seems to be her full recovery from Mind trauma. She is 42, married, with a small youngster. She is Kyle Kevorkian McCann, the piano Instructor, and he or she hopes to tell her Tale, her way.
Her health care provider informed her it could just take ten years to Recuperate, and Sunday was that talismanic anniversary. I feel my existence continues to be redefined by Central Park, she explained many times in the past, her voice delicate and hopeful. Right before park; following park. Will there ever be a time Once i dont Consider, Oh, this is the tenth anniversary, the 11th anniversary?
She spoke in her modest ranch home in a very wooded subdivision within a New York suburb. She sat in the dining area strewn with toys, surrounded by images of her cherubic, dark-haired two-12 months-previous daughter. A Steinway grand crammed 50 % the area, and at a single point she sat down and played. Her actively playing was forceful, but she appeared humiliated to Participate in quite a lot of bars, and shrugged, in lieu of answering, when questioned the title of your piece. She requested that her daughter and her town not be named.
She calls that day, June four, 1996, the day when I was damage.
Hers was the 1st in a string of attacks by precisely the same guy on 4 women above 8 days. The final victim, Evelyn Alvarez, 65, was crushed to Demise as she opened her Park Avenue dry-cleansing shop, and eventually, the assailant, John J. Royster, was convicted of murder and sentenced to lifetime in prison.
However the attack to the piano teacher is the one people today appear to recall essentially the most. Element of the fascination has to do with echoes on the 1989 attack to the Central Park jogger. But In addition, it frightened persons in a method the attack on the jogger didn't due to the fact its situation ended up so mundane.
It didn't take place within a remote Component of the park late in the evening, but near a well known playground at three during the afternoon. It might have took place to anybody. The tension was heightened through the mystery with the piano instructors identification.
For 3 days, as law enforcement and Medical professionals attempted to see who she was, she lay inside a coma in her healthcare facility bed, nameless. Her dad and mom have been on getaway and her boyfriend, also a musician, was in Europe, on tour. Last but not least, one of her pupils identified a law enforcement sketch and was in the position to discover her within the hospital by her fingers, due to the fact her confront was swollen outside of recognition. The police did not release her title.
youtube
The last thing she remembers about June 4, 1996, is providing a lesson in her studio apartment on West 57th Street, then putting her prolonged hair inside of a ponytail and likely out to get a stroll. She will not try to remember the assault, Even though she has read the accounts in the law enforcement and prosecutors.
To me its like a reality I uncovered and memorized, she claimed. Like I were being a student in school learning historical past.
She will not give thought to The person who did it. I may have been angry to get a instant, although not much longer than that, she mentioned. How could I be angry at John Royster? He was declared not insane, but I suppose by our expectations he was.
Dr. Jamshid Ghajar, her health care provider at Ny Clinic-Cornell Medical Center, as it had been identified in 1996, advised reporters that she had a ten percent prospect of survival. Doctors experienced to eliminate her forehead bone, which was later on changed, to create home for her swelling Mind. When her mom designed a public attract pray for my daughter, thousands did.
Tumblr media
Immediately after 8 times, she arrived out of a coma, initially in a very vegetative condition, then inside of a childlike point out. As she recovered, she slept little and talked consistently, in some cases in gibberish. I had been having mad at individuals every time they didnt reply to these phrases, she mentioned.
Like an Alzheimers individual, she had small short-expression memory and would overlook visitors when they still left the room.
youtube
Over several months, she needed to relearn ways to stroll, gown, examine and publish. Her boyfriend, Tony Scherr, visited on a daily basis to Engage in guitar for her. He encouraged her to play the piano, versus the recommendation of her physical therapists, who assumed she could be frustrated by her incapacity to Engage in the way she once had. Mr. Scherr performed Beatles duets together with her, actively playing the still left-hand component even though she performed the right.
That was my most effective therapy, she explained.
In August, she moved again dwelling to New Jersey, with her father, an engineer, and mother, a schoolteacher. She visited previous haunts and referred to as close friends, striving to restore her shattered memory. I was very obsessed with remembering, she explained. Any memory reduction was to me an indication of abnormality or deficit.
Her therapists assumed her development was wonderful, but her two sisters protested that she wasn't the deep thinker she had been.
What bothered her most was that she had lost the ability to cry, just as if a faucet inside of her brain had been turned off. One particular night, nine months after she was hurt, she stayed up late to look at the John Grisham Film A Time to Get rid of. Just just after her father experienced absent to bed, she viewed a courtroom scene of Samuel Jacksons character on trial for killing two Males who had raped his younger daughter.
The faucet opened, as well as the tears trickled down her cheeks. I thought of my moms and dads, my father, and what they went by, she explained. Tiny by tiny, my experience returned, my depth of intellect returned.
Urged by her sisters, she went again to highschool and acquired a masters degree in new music instruction.
Not all the things went nicely. She and Mr. Scherr break up up five years after the assault, nevertheless they remain close friends. She dated other Adult males, but she generally informed them concerning the attack instantly — she couldn't enable it, she mentioned — and so they in no way identified as for the 2nd day.
We have now to search out you anyone, her Mate David Phelps, a guitar player, said four many years in the past, prior to introducing her to Liam McCann, a pc technician and amateur drummer. For when, she did not say anything at all in regards to the attack till she acquired to be aware of Mr. McCann, after which you can when she did, he admired her strength.
Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who had often visited her at her bedside though she was in the hospital, married them in his Situations Sq. Workplace. She wore a blue gown and pearls. When she was pregnant, in the burst of creativeness, she and her mates recorded While Had been Younger, an album of childrens tracks that she experienced published before the assault, including the tune Relocating. Her ex-boyfriend, Mr. Scherr, produced the CD. On it, her partner plays drums and he or she plays electric powered piano.
Is her lifetime as it had been? Not just, nevertheless she's reluctant to attribute the dissimilarities to her injuries. Her final two piano learners left her, with out calling to explain why, she explained. She has resumed playing classical tunes, but very simple pieces, for the reason that her daughter does not give her time for you to apply. As for jazz, I dont even try, she stated.
She wish to push far more, feeling stranded in the suburbs, but she is easily rattled. She attempts to be material with staying residence and caring for her daughter.
Dr. Ghajar, a clinical professor of neurological operation at what is now referred to as Big apple-Presbyterian Medical center/Weill Cornell Health care Center, who operated on Ms. Kevorkian McCann once the attack, claimed past week that her volume of recovery was uncommon. Shes essentially typical, he said.
Other authorities, who're not personally accustomed to Ms. Kevorkian McCanns scenario, tend to be more careful.
Regaining the chance to Participate in the piano could require an Nearly mechanical course of action, a semiautomatic recall of just what the fingers ought to do, stated Dr. Yehuda Ben-Yishay, a professor of medical rehabilitation medication at New York University University of Medicine. When brain-hurt, you will be usually Mind-injured, For the remainder of your daily life, Dr. Ben-Yishay stated. There isn't any treatment, there is only intense compensation.
The more telling Section of a recovery, in his see, is psychological, and on that rating he counts Ms. Kevorkian McCanns relationship and kid as a big victory.
For her section, the piano Instructor is aware of she has altered, but she has designed her peace with it. I used to be form of a hyper —— I dont know if I used to be a sort A, but I had been ambitious, she suggests. Why was I so formidable? I was a piano teacher. I dont really know what the ambition was about. I actually did return to the individual Im alleged to be.
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feathersandblue · 7 years
Note
I don't think you're being fair to Madi. You're only looking for ways to make Silver look better than he is. He betrayed Flint and Madi because he couldn't stand the thought of losing her, it's not as if he really cared about anyone else. Silver did a fucked-up thing, he betrayed the woman he claimed to love and he sent her away so she couldn't stop him. And then he treated her as if she was the one who needed to "understand" what he did, like, that's some form of gaslighting right there. ---1
No. HE betrayed her, and he needs to understand what that betrayal cost her. Not only her but every enslaved person in the Americas. Silver had no right to do what he did. I hate that the showrunners didn’t address that. She should have kicked him out. He has no right to be on her island. Silver betrayed her, and I really hope she leaves him and he spends the rest of his life being miserable. —2
Nonnie, I think you’re a little too used in seeing things only in black and white. You’re accusing me of wanting to make Silver look better than he is, but the only thing I get from your aks is that you mean, I have to see him like you do. 
I’ve written plenty about Silver, his motives, his reasons, yet you’re addressing none of my arguments and basically just repeating “what he did was wrong, he had no right” like a Hail Mary of Black Sails interpretation.
Look, you dont have to agree with me, but if you send me an ask, I’d appreciate it if you took the time to come up with something that goes beyond a reiteration of “Silver is a horrible human being.”
A couple of other things. 
1. When you say, “Silver had no right to do what he did” - then I wonder what that means, exactly, because we’re clearly not talking about any kinds of “rights” granted by law here. We’re talking about your idea of what Silver should or shouldn’t be allowed to do, what kind of power he should or shouldn’t wield, and it means that you feel that his agency should come with stipulations that you, personally, impose on it, based on your own sense of morality but also on what you, personally, find especially offensive. 
This is an interesting approach, and it’s pretty easy to see how, when applied to other examples, it’s becoming a mostly arbitrary judgment of certain characters and their actions. 
Did Anne have the right to kill her crew for Max’ sake? 
Did Flint have the right to kill Gates? 
Did Flint have the right to sink that merchant vessel in 3.02? 
Did Miranda have the right to ask for a pardon without telling Flint?
Did Vane have the right to take the fort from Hornigold? 
Did Madi have the right to ask Silver to dispose of Billy?
Basically, when people say, “this person didn’t have the right to do that thing”, they are usually very particular and subjective in their judgement. 
2. “Gaslighting” is not what Silver is doing with Madi in the scene. He’s telling her what he did, and he voices the hope that she will be able to understand and forgive him. He declares his own determination to wait, for as long as it takes. That’s not gaslighting. He’s not making her doubt her own perception. He’s not lying to her (or at least not in a way that he isn’t also lying to himself). Justifying yourself to someone, and describing your actions in a way that is meant to make other people understand them and relate to you is not the same thing as trying to deceive them. “Gaslighting” has become one of these terms people tend to throw around without knowing what they mean. But in this case, it’s really not appropriate.
3. Concerning the fact that “he betrayed Flint and Madi because he couldn’t stand the thought of losing her, it’s not as if he really cared about anyone else”, that’s an oversimplification.
Yes, it was the prospect of losing Madi that was the catalyst for Silver’s decision to side with Jack and Max. And, yes, his motivation was that he couldn’t bear to lose her, and that he wanted her safe more than he wanted her to have that war she desired. But, and here’s where the text is on my side, that is not all there is to it.
 I’ve written extensively about how Flint is motivated by rage and desperation to wage this war. But it doesn’t change the fact that he has good arguments on his side for why this war is necessary, and that he sees a fundamental, systemic form of injustice and wants to fix it. Flint’s actions are both selfish and altruistic, in that he wants a better world for everyone involved, but the reasons why he pursues this goal in such an extreme and uncompromising fashion have nothing to do with altruism and everything to do with his rage and grief. 
Silver, on the other hand, is a survivor, someone who lacks that inherent ambition to change the world for the better. He gets drawn into this war for a variety of reasons, and he follows Flint’s example for the better part of season four without ever believing in his goals. For that reason, it’s much more difficult for him to determine whether it is really the right path. He’s deeply conflicted, and that innner struggle becomes more pronounced as he sees the price that other people have to pay for Flint’s war. Silver is not sure that it’s a good thing. But it’s only the experience of almost losing Madi that propels him into action,the thing that finally tips the scales. However, the underlying understanding of the war as a wasteful and horrible thing is not rooted in that - rather, it’s a a part of the way in which Silver understands the world. It’s fundamentally different from the way Flint and Madi see it. The show has made it very clear that while Flint and Madi are shaped by their history - their personal experiences - the same is true for Silver, even though his past is not revealed in detail. This fundamental difference in personality - in the way these characters view the world and their own place in it - is not something that can be the subject of moral judgment.
The conflict between Silver and Flint is not one between selfishness on Silver’s part and altruism on Flint’s, because both of them have selfish and altruistic motives. The conflict between them is as old as humanity itself - what is the price of a war, and is that price worth paying? 
For as long as humanity exists, this question has not been answered, and I expect it never will be. People who have gone through a war, who have experienced its horrors first hand, are often among those who try their hardest to prevent another one. For example, the current era of peace in Europe, brokered after WWII, was the result of an agreement that the two world wars had been so horrible that war was no longer an option. 
And yet, inevitably, there are always people who, faced with the reality of a corrupt and crumbling system of government that presumably withstands all their attempts to reform it from within, think that a revolution is necessary. Of course, these people start out with the best of intentions, but the result is often an ecalation of violence that turns countries into warzones and wastelands.
Black Sails is a show about pirates and outcasts, and we are meant to sympathize with their struggles. It would hardly make sense otherwise. And so, understandably, it spends less time showing the aftermath of a battles than the battle itself and its victories. For example, we see the battle on maroon island, and we see Flint, Silver, and Madi victorious - we don’t the women and children mourning their husbands and fathers, parents mourning their chilren, we don’t see the wounded dying in agony, we don’t see the corpses being thrown into a mass burial site. 
In season four alone, Nassau is raided twice - once when the pirates retake it from the governor, the second time when the Spanish raid the island. The Spanish invasion is shown in greater detail - the rapes, the plundering, the killing - and because it was Rogers who ordered it, who is clearly painted as a villain, we are quick to blame him for it. But in truth, the Spanish raid was only another turn of the downward spiral which several parties contributed to. 
For a US American TV show, Black Sails is actually rather good at describing the historical dialectics of revolution, counter-revolution, war, peace, action and reaction, that we can see everywhere in history - and it’s very good at showing two conflicting view points which are irreconcilable, and which are also universal to the human condition - everywhere, at any time where people disagree on how to best fight systemic injustice. In the Black Sails finale, one of these view points is vocalized by Silver, who has just gone through a personal awakening of sorts - almost losing Madi, realizing, through an encounter with the cook on board of the Lion how far he, himself, has come in turning into Flint. The importance of that scene can not be overstated - really, for Silver, it’s like coming full circle, realizing that from a person who was trying to protect himself from acts of violence, he has turned into a person who routinely engages in them; from someone who wants to escape a war to someone who brings it about. It’s the moment where Silver realizes that he has become the very thing that turns other people’s life into a fucking nightmare. The other viewpoint is vocalized by Flint, who believes that changing the world for the better requires to bring civilization down, that the only way to make progess is through a violent revolution.
There is no middle ground between those positions, in that moment, there is no way to overcome that fundamental divide. 
No matter where you, personally, stand on this issue, I think that denying the significance of this conflict between Flint and Silver, and the fact that there are valid arguments made on both side -  treating the whole thing as it if was nothing more than Silver being a selfish asshole - means doing a massive disservice to a show that has given us these wonderful, layered characters, and an excellently written storyline that includes many universal and highly difficult, complex topics, and doesn’t shy away from leaving this conflict unresolved, which is something very rare.
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cristoph00cdc · 4 years
Video
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The Irish Canadian Plague Crisis 1
URGENT REPORT TO THE PRIME MINISTER OF MALAYSIA - PLEASE STOP MY DEATH IN MALAYSIA DATED JUNE 17 2018 
 https://www.facebook.com/TunDrMahathir/
Dr. Mahathir bin Mohamad
@TunDrMahathir
Mahathir Bin Mohamad
Office of The Prime Minister of Malaysia
Main Block, Perdana Putra Building
Federal Government Administrative Centre
62502, Putrajaya
MALAYSIA
https://youtu.be/Xmulc2YN4uY
 Address
No. 1, Jalan P8H Precinct 8, Putrajaya 62250 Malaysia
Tel: +603 8885 8900
Fax: +603 8889 1166
 Director CP Dato' Wira Syed Ismail bin
Royal Malaysia Police Headquarter
Location: Royal Malaysia Police Headquarter, Bukit Aman, 50560 Kuala Lumpur
Principal Private Secretary to the Prime Minister
Prime Minister's Office 
Blok Utama, Bangunan Perdana Putra
Pusat Pentadbiran Kerajaan Persekutuan
62502 Putrajaya
MALAYSIA
 Justin Trudeau
House of Commons
Ottawa, ON
K1A 0A6
 Constituency Office Dr. Hedy Fry MP
hedyfry.ca
Community
106 - 1030 Denman Street, Vancouver, BC, Canada 604-666-0135
  https://www.change.org/p/human-rights-campaign-free-a-canadian-trapped-in-malaysia
 https://www.facebook.com/RideauInstitute/
https://www.facebook.com/FahmyFoundation/
http://www.hedyfry.com/
http://aix1.uottawa.ca/~cforcese/other/khadrrepatriation.pdf
http://www.middleeasteye.net/in-depth/features/profile-omar-alghabra-1538104858
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omar_Alghabra
https://www.facebook.com/oalghabra/
720 Brock Ave. Toronto, ON  M6H 3P2
T. 416.885.1361
F. 1.888.850.1306
https://www.probonoontario.org/
   https://www.change.org/p/human-rights-campaign-free-a-canadian-trapped-in-malaysia
  Nicholas  Rouleau etal, 
http://www.nicolasrouleau.com/
720 Brock Ave. Toronto, ON  M6H 3P2
T. 416.885.1361
F. 1.888.850.1306
https://www.probonoontario.org/
 Andrea Orlando
Ministry of Justice (Italy)
Address: Via Arenula, 70, 00186 Roma RM, Italy
Corte Suprema di Cassazione
Ministero della giustizia 
via Arenula 70 - 00186 Roma
telefono +39 - 06 68851 (centralino)
 Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace
Cardinal Peter K.A. Turkson, 
President, Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace
Pontifical Biblical Institute
Via della Pilotta 25 - 00187 Roma
 I have contacted you all, to receive urgent Legal and Medical attention, as i am dying from this ordeal. I have studied the laws that Canada is using to Block ,me from all help. The legal precedents are extraordinarily fulfilled via all the Treaty Laws - Prerogative Laws - The Human Rights codes & Laws, The Rome act and the ACTS that deal with Refugee Status - and the Laws that support that many of my fundamental Canadian Constitutional laws are broken by Justin Trudeau. 
But i am not a lawyer. But i did make a ton of notes and contacted everyone ..EVERYONE ! but i dont have much longer - i am failing but ??? 
  I am applying for Emergency Medical refugee Status - as The Kings Prerogative was used via The Maple Crown AND THE #WHITEGENOCIDE PROJECT TO KILL ME.  - I was able to start discussing this with the noted Lords and Her Majesty queen Elizabeth as the Queen of Canada. Her ability to quash this JT law or his interpretation of the Law and have my life saved. As these Legal proceedings - are lengthy and I am dying from the infection - I don't know how much Time i have left but at least I alerted everyone and that opens up dialogue when I present myself to an Embassy. At that point i will be incarcerated and without Urgent Medical treatment that i cant get here in Malaysia. At that point I am in gravest of danger. The Malaysian authorities are well aware of who I am - they are hands off - until I try to leave - they know I am ill -  they also dont want to deal with any of the paperwork and legalities  and upon my legal arrest - I wil be surrounded with over 25 Law enforcement - who cannot speak English- or understand - and I will collapse as I am in a state of permanent collapse from this infection.  
 As a result of my bad health - they will go crazy - they will start taking selfies and pictures of me - call an ambulance and as they routinely Kill their patients - the doctors i Cannot let them near me- These quacks - have very little medical training except via Google and as 
  My Esteemed - Lawyers, Policy Makers 
 I  am FORCIBLY ILLEGALLY detained in Malaysia  BY CANADA - April 2017-  to current times.DUE TO AN ACT OF BIO TERRORISM and i am dying. INFECTED WITH LEPTOSPIROSIS THAT BECAME THE PLAGUE. BRUTALLY ATTACKED.
I HAVE COMMITED NO CRIME - BUT WHEN I ASKED FOR MEDICAL HELP FROM CANADA  - I WAS SHUNNED - MY FILES WERE DELETED FROM CHC-KL AND I DEVELOPED THE PLAGUE. SOS CANADA - BLOCKED MY EMAILS AS DID ALL CANADIAN LAWYERS. THEY KNEW I WOULD DIE FROM THIS - AND WILLED ME TO DEATH. THE PLAGUE KILLS MANY NOT JUST 1.
 I was  lethally brutally attacked in Port Dickson by a crazy land lord - who had placed bedding that was infected with a known Malaysian Plague virus - that is considered 100% lethal if not treated -  and 50 -50 if treated, 
People in general are very confused by their thoughts of Malaysian - procedures - life - everything but these people have never been here - been hijacked - murdered en defacto. 
 Malaysia is a Google paradigm - its " Reality is applied through a social Media platform with very little basis in Modernity"  Google has taken the place of many standard accreditation for Medical Training. Thereby making Medical quackery - a fundamental modus operandi. The reality is that few know of Malaysia's vast corruption except has a concept and a ranking has # 2 in the world.  
 . In Malaysia for many its still 1974. Meaning that they are displaced in time and space -rendering them virtually incompetent. As well as 1 reason that the world knows nothing of this situation is it usually happens to Indonesian - Thai - Bornese - Nepalese basically immigrants that are essentially more impoverished than the Gilla Malaysians. Note it says silent killer - but ignored the other Murderer - aspect. If you are in Malaysia for any reason - as a foreigner you are in grave Danger. I have been attacked by chains - wild screaming of being killed - accusations - extortion - theft - utter madness - 
I have no idea of how I am still alive. 
 “In fact, that number continues to increase with 2,000 new cases of schizophrenia being reported every year. It is more alarming when the number of cases reported does not reflect the actual number."
  https://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2016/07/01/more-malaysians-expected-to-suffer-from-mental-illness-by-2020/#kcpvHfkRISRCEO5q.99
http://huibee.com/2017/02/statistics-mental-health-in-malaysia/
 https://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2016/07/01/more-malaysians-expected-to-suffer-from-mental-illness-by-2020/
 http://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/nation/2017/06/30/mental-illness-a-silent-killer-says-psychologist/
http://www.theborneopost.com/2017/10/25/fatimah-mental-illness-on-the-rise-in-malaysia/
 Malaysia is a filthy country -  with a ramshackle - culture - mostly uneducated and poor - dangerous through rampant alcoholism - and infections such as the Leptospirosis - Weill;s Disease - that i was infected with -  There is so much going on here - that has happened -  I live in a twilight zone - a haze of illness - 
 Port Dickson is a Village - with few modern convenience - and people that are very dangerous. 
Everything here is rancid. All the info is in my blogs v-blogs - but I am extremely ill - dying in fact. 
So if you have a hard time following - In the past 10 months- i have experienced a violent deadly infection. That made me blind -  damaged my heart - my liver - my kidneys - my brain. I had to somehow document it - blog it - to try and create a record of how I died . I am told that as Canada has disavowed my existence - and under current Consular law - Malaysia can do to me as it sees fit. If I die - My body will be dumped ad all my belongings stolen.  That is if i die in bed.
 If i die on the streets - on errands - the body is trashed - i will have no ID on me - and though the Malaysian Police know all this. It is deemed as misinformation. I will be arrested if I try to leave without court documents that prevent me from being harmed - 
As the Malaysians are so dangerous - any interactions - will result in life imprisonment here - partially due to the fact that I will either have a Seizure - a coronary --a stroke - I will blister - and be pocked - itching - and eventually - I will seize - and die - as the anaphylaxis will kick in - and i will choke to death. I have gone through all this in 2017. Why I am still  alive i do not know.
But any sudden changes that increase stress - its bye bye - and with no Hospital care - No one to translate all this - they don't speak English -  am a large man - they are small - and they will in a group attack me -  As my convulsions - etc will be seen as acts of violence. So they will think just Kill me. 
  I require several months in hospital - an MRI - A Cat Scan - A spinal Tap- and then as this disease has mutated - I may develop Leukemia - Muscular Dystrophy - Schizophrenia- Zika - HIV -Lyme disease - severe Heart Disease - Hepatitis - Septicemia- Meningitis - the list is endless all fatal if not treated. Why so dangerous - Its RAT URINE - FECES- fed on by Maggots - Bed bugs - worms- parasites and injected right in my blood stream. 
 Again my blogs have all this information. And still people think its unreal - a fantasy - or ?? This is 2018 and I am dealing with a form of the plague, a ancient disease - an ancient law - from Canada - known as the King's prerogative.  
 Canada's  consular laws became vicious - and deadly - allowing for my certain death and that of others 1400 Canadians ? are dying in many countries. Canada is so hostile under these circumstances - I have been in Contact with Canada for 11 months begging for help. Canada is well aware of my plight. Its Consular ruing - is being used to kill an innocent Canadian citizen. I am in deep PTSD - as I can not believe my little life is being suspended by the vagaries of those placed in a position of power to keep us SAFE. 
 There are many legal arguments and precedents to support the International community to save my life. Justin Trudeau has chosen a legal platform to procure any Medical and legal help that I need. He also knows that this help is in the Millions of Dollars.  I have listed many n my blogs - but as I am not a layer I can not enforce or argue legally for my life.  As for Malaysia - this will have to go to  the Yang di-Pertuan Agong Muhammad V of Kelantan
Istana Negara
50480 Jalan Tuanku Abdul Halim
KUALA LUMPUR
 No.Telefon:   +6 03 6200 1000 / 1200
No.Fax:         +6 03 6205 2121 / 2112
 (1) Canada has refused any information as to how to get Medical Help and in fact prevent all MP ( Dr. HEDY Fry) to communicate with me - Enforcing the ruling that my death is not only only inevitable - but DESIRED by Canada. 
(2) This implies a death sentence imposed on me by Canada. 
(3) I many regards Canada vis a vis Justin Trudeau - has broken many of its constitutional laws in regards to Human Rights - Canadian Citizens - Abuse - Cruelty - that result in Canada causing my death. Thereby voiding its abolitionist stance against Capital Punishment as by Canada - JT actions - I am sentenced to death.
(4) As The Queen of England is the Queen of Canada - and Justin Trudeau by being Prime Minister has assumed the Constitutional title in regards to The King's Prerogative.  Justin Trudeau has therefore by legal constitutional association - its laws and amendments its decrees has coupled Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth 2 to assist in supporting my death.  
(5) Her Majesty - is forced by  International Human Rights - And the Laws of the commonwealth to suspend - and to defend my Right to Life that both Malaysia and Canada have decreed that I die, as a result of their interpretation of their Constitutional rights.
(6) Both Malaysia and Canada have denied me urgent Medical Attention and forced me to seek  Medical Asylum in many countries. 
(7) I have invoked His Holiness Pope Francis and the weight of The Vatican laws that support all Human Rights. JT actions have put a vague ancestral law circa 1700 in charge of my life and death. The Vatican Laws - The Laws of God in all of ts forms supports my life - ? - if argued by a Court of the Magnitude - of The Human Rights courts in Geneva, The Hague ( Though Canada owns the Hague vis a vis - Deputy Prosecutor James Stewart.) The Canadian Supreme Court - The British Supreme Court - The Vatican Court - Supported courts in Sweden - Italy- France & Germany.
 (8) JT prefers you to debit my case and care against the Canadian 1 Billion $ consular fund. In all cases the payments are the Millions enough to afford the battery of lawyers - etc. 
(9) I do ask that the King's Prerogative be voided - as its largess is seen as font hat evil springs from. JT - Canada is being extraordinarily Machiavellian - and dances the Macabre in a waltz conducted by Mephistopheles itself.  
   I was/AM bed ridden for most of 2017 -2019  I am trying to save my life and let people know of the danger of Malaysia and Canada. 
 Malaysian doctors refuse to treat visitors - and  I was thrown out of many hospitals and Kliniks here in Malaysia. The doctors screamed GET OUT - 
they refused me medicine -  Finally they admitted that I will never get care for any disease here in Malaysia -  and in fact - they tell me - that Malaysian doctors often Kill - or damage their foreign patients as they are not trained.
 They- most  Malaysian medical staff -  use GOOGLE to diagnose aliments and search out recommended medication via Google - Why get a medical degree - when you can just google your patients ailments. 
All this is well documented in my many blogs - is it Cruel - Abuse - Medical Drama - Imprisonment - Death - that i am trying to avoid 
 So I have to receive urgent Medical help - with in 90 days - I am appealing for Asylum to the Vatican - Italy - France - Germany - England -  Australia - Sweden. 
Canada denied me as I am not Canadian enough -  The following are pix of what I experienced. You can see I have suffered greatly. 
 If you receive and read these posts - Please help me. If no help is provided - I am may have already been infected beyond any - means to save my life - death may be the result though medical help can delay its arrival. 
PLEASE NOTE - I HAVE VIDEO TAPED MOST IF NOT ALL OF THE EVENTS, I HAVE BLOGGED IT - VBLOGGED IT. ITS A TESTIMONY OF HOW HARD I TRIED TO SURVIVE - AND NOT LET MY DEATH GO UNNOTICED. 
 PLEASE TAKE CANADA TO TASK FOR THIS - ITS A 1 BILLION $ FUND - THAT AS A CANADIAN - IN THE MOST DIRE OF CIRCUMSTANCES - CAN ASSESS. BUT BASED ON CANADIAN ESSENTIALLY CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES AND THE BEHAVIOR OF THE WASTREL KING-  JT OF CANADA - WHO HAS IMPLICATED HIS-MINE- OUR QUEEN IN SCHEER MADNESS
  https://youtu.be/gTg5PCMa7TY
 CASE HISTORY THAT RELATES TO THIS  MALAYSIA'S LEPTO-WEIL'S -PLAGUE SYNDROME IS WELL DOCUMENTED IN THE BLOGS.
REMEMBER I AM NOT A LAWYER - I CAN ONLY AS THE VICTIM REPORT AND BEG FOR ASAP HELP AND DUE TO TE BODIES FRAILTY - INTERNALLY I AM A MESS - INCREDIBLE BOUTS OF PAIN - WEAKNESS - SPASMS - PICTURES ARE IN MANY FILES - IT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO RECORD - AS MY MEMORY IS BECOMING IMPAIRED 
    BREAKDOWN FROM THE PAIN
https://youtu.be/3uXQH_sh23I
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_prerogative
https://writerswrite000.wordpress.com/2018/01/05/requesting-a-constitutional-decree/
https://youtu.be/OJJsBjZCDPU
https://forwhomthebelltolls00.wordpress.com/2017/12/09/canadian-in-deep-doo-doo-in-malaysia-death-on-the-menu/
https://writerswrite000.wordpress.com/2017/12/03/a-hitch-in-my-giddiup-canadian-legal-system-a-world-exclusive/
https://writerswrite000.wordpress.com/2017/11/27/canadian-applying-for-urgent-asylum-canadas-deadly-kings-preoragative/
https://writerswrite000.wordpress.com/2017/10/07/dangerous-murderous-malaysia-2017/
https://writerswrite000.wordpress.com/2017/11/02/death-watch-leptospirosis-malaysia-2017/ 
https://writerswrite000.wordpress.com/2017/11/15/the-lepto-weils-ancillary-files/ 
https://writerswrite000.wordpress.com/2017/08/27/if-it-bleeds-it-leads-prosecutor-of-the-international-criminal-court-your-honor-fatou-bensouda-oude-waalsdorperweg-10-2597-ak-the-hague-the-netherlands/
   ---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Xtoph De Caermichael <[email protected]>
Date: Fri, Jan 19, 2018 at 2:59 AM
Subject: Fwd: Let me try and break it down for you
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rjhg53ji-blog · 5 years
Text
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