#the vibes have been spectacular since day one

[strxnged]

I LOVE DEADHORSE BY DIRT POOR ROBINS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[kitasgloves]

hii!!um can you mb do comforting your bf pt3?If you can include sunarin or kei. I know you have more requests n probably personal work so,of course ,no need to hurry !! <3

comforting your insecure bf

part 1 . part 2

— ♬ NSFW, MINORS DNI, gn reader, based on this post

— ♬ hi anon thank you for requesting i hope you like it !

— ♬ Suna Rintaro

Suna Rintaro's first encounter with you wasn't anything spectacular. There's no spark, no butterflies in his stomach, no reaction. He just viewed you as another human in the world. You were friends with the Miya brothers so it was inevitable that one of the brothers was going to introduce you to him. It was through his best friend Osamu Miya that he met you.

He thinks you're cool, he doesn't expect anything from you. Suna only saw you as a friend, right? Well, that was before he began spending more time with you. In the beginning, it was him, Osamu, and you. Sometimes Atsumu joined. Then all of a sudden the Miya twins were out of the equation and the two of you started hanging out.

You matched his vibe perfectly. You shared the same sense of humor, you were clever and quick with rebuttals to his remarks, and you had a sweet side that made his insides feel like mush. Before he knew it, Suna was hanging out more with you than his best friend and he gets teased for it.

"I think yer fallin' in love with [Name]"

Yeah, right. It's not true. You only give him the prettiest smiles and the most contagious laugh. The playful glimmer in your eyes, the way you would reach for his hand when you're nervous, how you lean on his shoulder when you're getting sleepy when watching a movie, he can smell your perfume, your shampoo, he can feel your warmth, and see the color of your lips...oh shit. Osamu is right, he is falling in love with you.

But there's no fucking way he's going to admit it. The way Suna sees it, you're too good for him. He's an asshole, a mean and sarcastic piece of shit. You're a special and genuine person that he doesn't deserve. He's been thinking about his feelings for you lately up until the Miya twins' birthday.

He deliberately planned to get wasted, maybe find somebody else to make him forget about his stupid crush on you. But his attempt was futile because, in the crowded room, his eyes still searched for you. And the fact that you immediately meet his eyes was so unfair, you make him so weak. Yet he doesn't crumble. He stubbornly avoids you.

"Rin! Hey! Why are you avoiding me?"

"Fuck off, [Name]"

Suna slurred as he tried to get away from you, terrified that if he lets you reach him he'll confess. He finishes his cup of alcohol when you finally catch him, as he gazes at you, his blood goes cold. There were tears in your eyes and you were gripping his arm.

"Why are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?"

You asked, your tone desperate and Suna's heart just shatters. Jesus, he is a certified dick. Even in his drunk state, he tries to keep it together to tell you that you haven't done anything wrong.

"Really?"

"Yeah, M'sorry [Name]"

"Oh thank god"

You hugged him, incredibly relieved. Suna was quick to return the embrace, burying his face against your neck, almost feeling his eyes go wet. And in a spur-of-the-moment or his fear of almost losing you, Suna pulls away and crashes his lips against yours in a silent confession. There was a muffled squeak from you. He thinks he's dreaming when he feels you kiss him back. Suna thinks he's incredibly drunk when he ends up going home with you.

"Babe, are you listening?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry. I was too busy staring at your pretty face"

"Ugh, fucking cheeseball"

You laughed and smacked his shoulder. Ever since the kiss, the two of you hit it off. Suna wouldn't have expected to be with you, but he's over the moon. Romance wasn't his strongest suit yet you made him feel like it is. He has never wanted to kiss someone so bad every day in his life. Never he has experienced being so head over heels for someone that it's ridiculous.

Everything felt so right. But Suna begins to think it's a lie. He's convinced that he doesn't deserve to be with you after everything. You and him weren't a perfect couple, you would have arguments that would start from something so minuscule into fully serious. Suna would find himself intentionally hurting you with his venomous insults, but you were strong and unwavering. It would be a while until Suna's self-sabotage brings out the worst of him.

He has hurt you, this time he did. He fucked up bad when he sees your wide eyes as tears gradually built up. But this time, he doesn't apologize, he lets you walk out the door and think it's over. He ends up alone in his room quietly crying to himself, gazing at his pathetic reflection on his mirror. On the least of his expectations, you return.

"Rintaro?"

Suna loved the way you called his name but he doesn't face you. He's filled with shame and guilt and you coming back to him after the shit he told you was a testament that he truly doesn't deserve you.

"Why the fuck are you here?"

"Please, let's talk, Rin"

"I don't wanna"

"Please, I want to fix this. I don't this to end"

You see the way Suna's lip wobbles. You carefully walked over to him and hugged him from behind, sharing your warmth with him. Suna blinks away the tears as he leans against your touch.

"I don't deserve you, [Name]"

"Rintaro..."

"I'm nothing but a stupid fucking asshole"

"Rin, you're not"

"For fuck's sake [Name]! I made you cry!"

"I know you don't mean it, Rin"

You nuzzled your face against his neck. Suna sighs, it was hard trying to resist you.

"I'm sorry, [Name]..."

"It's okay, babe"

"I...Are you sure you don't want to break up with me?"

"Yeah, want me to prove it to you?"

You said. Suna raised a brow, unsure of what you meant until he felt your hands tugging on the hems of his pants. In a span of a minute, he's moaning in front of his bedroom mirror with his cock out and your hands around it. You carefully pumped his length, purposely edging him.

"[Name], ah! Shit!"

Suna hissed. He hears you chuckle from behind. You planted butterfly kisses from his shoulder up to his neck.

"[Name], fuck"

Your boyfriend moans. You slowly begin to jerk him off faster, he throws his head back and whines.

"Rintaro, I love you so much. I love every part of you"

"I love your cheezy jokes, your sweet smile, and even your big and mean face"

"I love your eyes, your hair, your face, your lips, and especially your cock"

Suna groans, his face heats up from the compliment. Gently, your hands went to cup his balls and he drools like a fool drunk on lust.

"Hnngh, [Name]"

"I will love you forever for who you are, even with all the bad parts"

"[Name]"

He calls out for you in desperation, desperate for his sweet release. As your hand trailed back to his cock, you started to pump him swiftly. Suna's hips bucked forward as he watched himself lose to the pleasure in front of the mirror. His hair was sweaty and messy, the precum dripping down on his length was nasty, as his moans grew breathy.

"Are you gonna cum, Rin?"

"Ooooh yes! Fuck yes!"

"Come on baby, let go. I'm all yours"

You softly told him as his eyes rolled back. Suna convulsed as he cums around your warm hand. His cum shoots out everywhere, on his abdomen, your hand, and even his pants. Suna felt like he died and went back to life. His chest rises and falls as he meets your sweet eyes through the mirror.

"Holy shit"

"Are you okay, Rintaro?"

"More than okay, babe. That was fucking hot"

You laughed. Suna pounces on you to kiss you, he towers over you on his bed as he starts whispering 'I love you' to you with every kiss. Everything was all sweet and romantic until you can feel his cock hardening as it rubbed against your leg. You gulped as Suna sent you a devilish smile.

— ♬ Tsukishima Kei

Tsukishima Kei had no room for romance in his life. He only poured his focus on his work and volleyball. He occasionally hung out with his friends so he wasn't some miserable and workaholic man. He thinks the universe loves shitting on him when he was constantly surrounded by couples wherever he went. On the way to his work, in the museum, at the grocery store, and even scrolling on the internet. The persistent image of lovestruck couples irritated him to no end, especially when one of his friends recently came out that they became an official couple (thank god one of them went back to Brazil and the other migrated to Italy).

Tsukishima was waiting for all of this bullshit to die down until he was reunited with you. Great, just what he fucking needed. It was a dark secret that he had a fat crush on you back in high school, you were his senior then. You were popular because people were drawn to your beauty, kindness, and alluring personality. Tsukishima felt ashamed for falling victim to your charms. Admittedly, he tried to subtly pursue you then but ultimately stopped after you graduated high school and went to university. And here he thinks he's over you.

"Oh my god, Kei is that you?"

Shit. You have spotted him at the museum. He awkwardly stands there and lets you run to him with that big smile of yours.

"It's been so long!"

"...It has"

"I didn't know you worked here! How have you been?"

You and Tsukishima briefly caught up with each other's lives. It was true you and him go way back and were close, and it still feels like it to this day. Tsukishima hates to admit how he missed talking to you. Something about your genuine demeanor pulls him back to you.

"Do you want to go grab drinks later?"

Say no

"Sure, I'm free after my shift"

Oh you fucking idiot

"Great! Let's meet at the bar nearby!"

His heart skips a beat when he sees that beautiful bright smile on your face. It kept appearing in his mind as he continued on his day. Tsukishima grew impatient as he constantly glanced at his watch, wishing that time would go by faster. After his shift at the museum, he rushes to the bar and finds you waiting for him there.

The two of you ate and drank beer, swapping stories and sharing jokes. Being here with you reignited his attraction to you. Tsukishima couldn't help but notice everything about you. Your hair, your clothes, the smell of your perfume, god, he felt like a creep. It was getting late and both of you got fairly tipsy. You finished your cup of beer when you smiled at him with flushed cheeks.

"You know, I used to have a crush on you back then"

You admitted. Tsukishima nearly choked on his beer as he gazes at you wide-eyed and his glasses tilted.

"...Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, you were handsome and not to mention a smartass, I'm pretty sure everyone had a crush on you"

You shrugged. Tsukishima ignores the way his heart skipped a beat, he swallows nervously and looks at you.

"Didn't think you'd genuinely have a crush on me, I thought you think I'm an asshole"

"Well you are, a handsome asshole"

You chuckled and looked at him in the eye. Tsukishima knew this was his moment, to tell you how he's been in love with you for a long time. He sucks in a breath.

"You know, I know someone who's got a big fat crush on you for a long time..."

"Oh? Who?"

"You know him and he's an idiot"

"Hmm, is it your best friend Yamaguchi?"

"No"

"How about your other friends Kageyama and Hinata?"

"Nah, those two just became a couple"

"Oh, congratulations to them! Who could it be?"

He waited for you to guess right but it never came, much to his heart's disappointment.

"Are you lying to me, Kei?"

"No...ugh, I give up"

"What? Just tell me who it is!"

"It's me, you dumbass!"

You went silent and it made Tsukishima's stomach drop. The look of shock on your face scared him. How will you react? He has no clue what will it be. And then you laughed.

"Oh my god, are you serious?"

"Yeah..."

"And here I thought my feelings would never be reciprocated"

"Huh?"

Tsukishima looked at you dumbfounded. You sighed and reached to touch his hand across the table.

"I've been in love with you too for a long time, you dingus"

Suddenly, Tsukishima has room for his romantic life with you. Before he realizes it, he's just like those disgusting couples he gets surrounded by everywhere he goes. It felt so surreal to hold your hand while you two walked down the street. It seemed so unreal when you shared a kiss under the moonlight. He believed he lived in a dream when you told him you loved him. Because the truth is, Tsukishima thinks he doesn't deserve it.

The reason why he didn't have room for romance is because he's convinced he's unlovable. That on the surface is just a smart guy with a massive height, athletic abilities, and a smug attitude, and beyond that, he's nothing special. Tsukishima knows he's an absolute jerk who doesn't back down on rebuttals and insults. He's got a sharp tongue and an intelligent mouth. Why would someone love a guy like him?

Tsukishima distances himself from you since he formed those insecure thoughts. He gradually drifts away from you to the point that he refuses to meet up with you. He tries to return to his life before. Maybe you'll take the hint and replace him with someone better, someone who's significantly kinder than him, someone who's lovable.

There's a sudden bang on his apartment door. He groans and drags his feet to the door, when he opens it, he sees your enraged face.

"Why the hell are you not answering my calls and messages?!"

You shouted at him. Tsukishima takes a step back, surprised by your sudden appearance. You jabbed a finger at his chest.

"I've been worried sick about you! I thought something bad happened to my boyfriend!"

"Stop yelling, you're disturbing the neighbors"

"Not until you tell me what the hell is going on!"

You placed your hands on your hips and glared at him. Tsukishima holds back a groan and runs a hand down his face, he shuts the door behind you as he tries to lie about everything he's been through.

"I was sick and I didn't want to disturb you"

"You could've sent me a quick text then I would've understood. Ghosting me all of a sudden is so immature of you"

"I understand, I'm sorry"

You exhaled as you both sat on his bed, you crawled behind him to give him a loving embrace. Tsukishima could feel his heart racing at the tender act.

"I want to know if something's bothering you, Kei. I want you to be honest with me please"

You said quietly. Guilt floods his heart as Tsukishima debates whether to admit the truth. He didn't want to make you feel bad so he decided to be a man and tell you everything. He expected you to make fun of him or look at him differently but instead, you accepted him with open arms.

"Kei, baby, you're not unlovable"

"Oh please [Name], I'm a fucking jerk"

"And that's why I love you"

"Can you stop lying, [Name]?"

"I'm not lying!"

You huffed from behind him, glaring at him through the mirror before his bed. You wanted to knock some sense out of your giant boyfriend and show him how lovable he was. Tsukishima sees you smiling through the mirror as your hands grab the zipper of his pants.

"Oi [Name]! What the hell are you doing?!"

Tsukishima wants to deny it. To deny how fucking good it felt when your hand wrapped around his cock. He goes hard immediately when you stroke him a few times. You bite your lip as you played with his slit, earning a groan from him.

"[Name], ah fuck!"

You went to grab his ballsack and massage it. The pleasure erupts all over his body. When he stares forward, he sees his wrecked expression in the mirror. His blonde hair was disheveled, his glasses sliding down his nose bridge, and his pants sliding down his thighs to his ankles.

"Look at yourself Kei, god you look so fucking hot"

"Shit! Oh fuck, [Name]"

Tsukishima lets out a breathless moan. When your hand returns to his dick as you start to pump him at a fast pace, he opens his mouth and lets out a high-pitched moan.

"Oh, you like that, babe?"

"[Name], please"

"I need you to stop thinking you're unlovable because you are not"

Your pace slows down. Tsukishima meets your gaze in the mirror with your hand softly stroking his cock, his face goes red.

"Kei, I know you're handsome and smart but you're considerate too"

"You're not some heartless jerk, I see how you show that you care"

"You make efforts for me, you make me happy and it pains me to know you think you're not special because you are to me"

Your pace around his length quickens and he gasps, taking in your words and accepting them in his heart.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Kei. My sweet, smart, and hot boyfriend"

"Shit, [Name]! I'm going to cum!"

"Cum for me Kei"

You commanded and he met his orgasm in a shocking wave. The electrifying pleasure shoots all over his body that he momentarily loses his breath while his cum coats your hand. As the high subsides, Tsukishima blinks at you through the mirror.

"Don't you feel better now, Kei?"

You sweetly asked and suddenly he grew shy, avoiding your eyes with a tinge of pink on his cheeks. For a huge man, he sure is adorable. You giggled and kissed him on the cheek, and the blonde sighed.

"Thank you, [Name]"

"Aw, you're welcome baby"

"How about I return the favor, I want you to be good and take your clothes off now"

It was your turn to blush as you stuttered, Tsukishima looked at you with his eyes clouded with desire. You knew better so you obeyed him and got naked as he sweetly returned the favor.

©kitasgloves (do not steal or copy)

[bluegiragi]

Two things I've been curious about for a while and that I haven't seen mentioned in descriptions of all your wonderful art,

Do you have any headcanons for how tall everyone is? I've mostly seen people cite Ghost as 6'4 but also 6'7 on one occasion, and Soap from anywhere from 5'10 to 6'2. Or do you go more for vibes in relation to each other (if that makes sense)

Do the Monster 141 and others have any weaknesses related to their hybrid heritage? Like does Graves have issues with sunlight or is Soap more susceptible to silvered items?

And once again, your art is amazing and spectacular, my friend and I drool over every new piece you drop <33

I absolutely go for vibes over any sort of accurate height chart. In my head from tallest to shortest of the cast so far it goes: Konig > Ghost > Price > Gaz > Soap > Horangi.

Graves can go out in the day just fine, but he's weakened under direct sunlight. It doesn't bother him too much since he has a bunch of thralls at his beck and call to keep him comfortable. For Soap, silver is toxic and will burn to the touch. So you can imagine how painful getting shot by a silver bullet might be.

also thank you! I'm glad I can provide some entertainment for you and your friend <3

[theficblog]

HEARTS [chapter one]

CHAPTER ONE: WHAT ARE WE?

Pairing: Jeno x Reader [ ft. Jaemin, Haechan, Chenle, Renjun ]

Prologue: Jeno is just another friend, is all that you have been thinking, denying your feelings. It’s better to shut the emotions of the heart than to lose him. What happens when he learns a secret?

Genre: Friends with Benefits AU + Suggestive + Fluff + Angst 

Wordcount: 2,547

Warnings: Suggestive Content [ rough + angry sex + nudity + biting + making out + moaning ] Language

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And perhaps falling off a bridge would hurt lesser than falling for a friend. Your head and your heart would ultimately be confused and conflicted by an enigmatic companion. - The morning was unconcerned with the impending alarms, the warm yellow rays of the sun rising above the horizon were concealed by the heavy black curtains. An aura of sloth, sultriness, and wilderness floated in the room like the aroma of a freshly baked cake. The only source of light was the mood lamp that had been projecting the same seductive crimson and tuscany hues since the previous night.

Jeno hovered over you, placing kisses as he worked his hips just right. You gripped his face with your hands, soaking up every pleasure he gave you. It felt as though the world was dying since the two of you had been going about this business for so long and the only thing on your minds was getting each other to scream and react physically. You were familiar with every inch of his body like a road map that you had memorised, and you were also aware of the vital spots where even a light touch from your flesh would send him into a fit. Jeno was skilled in the same domain.

"How the fuck did you manage to cover me in so many hickeys?" Jeno voiced as he rolled over his side, engulfing you in his arms as he nuzzled his face into yours.

"I don't even like biting but there's something about you, I can't control myself." You replied, letting out soft moans as he brushed his fingers against your naked body.

"Why is it so soft?" He gushed, bringing himself nigher. He started to place kisses all over your bare arm.

"You really like my moisturizer, huh?" You made a joke, which caused the boy to giggle softly yet deeply.

The alarm went off, signalling it was too late and better for you to be out of bed. Yet, it was difficult to come out of the dreaminess of addictive acts with Jeno.

"You ought to go." He twisted his legs around yours and tightened the grasp after hearing what you said, which made him pout.

"Can we not just stay like this? I love it so much." Jeno tried his best to earn a yes from you but even after domestic dynamics between the two of you, what you had with him was still not bound by any official terms of a relationship.

"Lee Jeno, think of skipping one more class and you're dead meat." You declared, pushing him away by the chest. He finally got up, his back offered you a spectacular view as he put on his hoodie. He was hot.

-

The classes began as usual. The vibe of the weekend could be felt and seen on everyone's faces as they walked towards their lecture halls. College was about to end soon, unlike the day that would turn out to be a long one. 

Jeno came sprinting from behind, tapping you on the shoulder. "Lend me the notes from the past week. What did we do?"

You handed him a folder as you both kept walking. "Only if they taught football." He thanked you. 

"Even if they did you'd barely come to class." You commented as you took his hand in his. He wore a plain blue shirt over a white tee and that was enough for the rest of the onlookers to feel jealous of you. 

-

Business Majors was as dull as it sounded.

Where had the last three years gone? It would sound cliche to anyone but it in fact did feel like yesterday that you bumped into this athletic guy, the exchange of glances and phone numbers gradually led to things heating up between you. Matters started to range from baseball games to bedrooms.

-

But who was Jeno? A lover? A friend? An acquaintance? That's the complicated part. Friends with benefits. 

What everybody else thought was contrasting. For them, you two were the hottest couple on the campus. After all, you did everything a couple would do and the best thing to do when unfounded rumours keep coming up like a creeper is to ignore them and take pleasure in the drama.

-

"Had you been three minutes late I could've won a new pair of headphones?" A young boy who had donned a red jacket with fluffy brown hair, seated right in front of your row cried.

"Don't you already have more than enough?" You questioned seating yourself and placing your supplies on the desk.

"Renjun, explain." He elbowed the other one beside him.

"He made a bet. Lost again, of course." Another boy in yellow explained. He didn't seem to be in the mood to skip the lecture and squander it engaging in the gossip and petty bickering that you and your friend loved.

"Haechan! Grow up!" You jokingly hit his head.

"Over there!" With a harshness in his voice, the professor snapped his fingers. "Lee Jeno! Explain this." He called him out as he pointed toward a phrase on the screen.

Jeno, who was seated to your right, glanced at you momentarily in an attempt to pick up a cue, but the timing didn't seem appropriate.

"This.." He began. "I kind of don't know." He earned a roar of laughter from the rest of the class, every single one of them but you.

"Out!" The professor shouted, his brows wrinkled.

You turned to face Jeno once more, this time with worry reflected in your eyes, but he did the exact opposite of what you expected. He gave you a wink and grinned as he slung his empty backpack over his shoulder and exited the hallway regretlessly.

This made you think about the Jeno you met three years ago, he wasn't at the top of the class, but he did secure one of the highest grades, never missed a class, and turned in assignments on time but that only lasted for a semester or two. It was like slow poison, it would start to spread slowly and gradually, taking its time in the best way possible until one day would come and everything would cease. Serene yet explosive.

This was what had you concerned.

There were other occasions when people criticised you, saying that you were ultimately responsible for doing this to a sincere young man like him, that you were taking advantage of him, and that it was not for the talks, but the fact that they did, in fact, ring true to you was onerous. 

Given your social and financial status, you didn't think much of college and didn't care if you passed or not. If you fished a decent job placement or not. If your professors liked you or not and this was what had been going on ever since you could recall memories, things that appeared to be a hard-earned necessity to others were insignificant to you.  There were a dozen more methods, good or evil, to do things, and if you didn't succeed, your family would step in and fix them for you. This was how life went by; the only reason you went to this esteemed university was to have it documented on a piece of writing that you put some work into. Worse things may be anticipated in a society where paper was valued more highly than the human conscience. Money was paper, after all, it sure was different from the other kind of knowledge-stuffed papers the others applied with, but well, it was paper and your family did not mind spending racks to fit you into an image that was not yours.

-

"Y/N? The class got over ten minutes ago." Haechan attracted your attention by abruptly waving his hand in front of your eyes.

"Oh, yeah." You murmured. 

"This is why they say people go crazy in love." He commented.

"Shut the fuck up!" You were annoyed. Picking up your bag, you left the class, still in deep thought.

Life did not make any sense at that point and your heart was not helping either, you were a walking puzzle.

-

Love was not what you two shared.

Together, you did spend days and nights. Every time someone else looked at him, you grew envious, and Jeno too. You'll never forget how he pouted whenever you spent time with someone who wasn't him. There was a natural sense of belonging that you two had developed for one another, but perhaps that's what friends did. Every time Haechan brought in new acquaintances, you did experience jealousy; it wasn't as strong or as intense, but it was enough to persuade your heart. Only if hearts came equipped with remote controls would the world be a simpler place to live.

The one time you could not control your heart was when you told Jeno you loved him, drunk.

"I love you too, Y/N~" He replied back, not even in a sense of distinguishing colours or shapes, let alone feelings.

Because you were certain Jeno had no memory of it, and because you knew it would be terrifying to dig out the dead, you gave up trying to think about that time. Losing a friend as valuable as he was was not on your list because the only ghosting that could occur was from his end to yours.

This took you back to another night in your bed. You and Jeno were cuddled up, wrapped in blankets as he laid his head on your tummy, trying to watch Netflix but the only thing you could ever do was smile at each other's face, for no reason whatsoever.

"What?" You giggled, interlocking his hair in your fingers, trying to focus on the screen projected in the front.

"Can't I just stare at my-" He cut the sentence halfway, turning his face away to the movie. A scene of love confession was going on, the two main leads were oblivious, still in a denial, and you could swear that watching porn instead of that would have been way easier for you.

At least five times, if not more, Jeno looked up at you in the hope that you would say something, but you chose to ignore him like life troubles, as if they went away with your ignorance. And wasn't romance trouble too? You thought to yourself. No matter how bad you wanted Jeno, the more you thought of confessing, the more you denied your feelings.

No, it would still not count as love.

-

"Be careful where you go!" Someone's screams jolted you back to reality. "I'm sorry." You walked away.

"Y/N!" You turned your head toward the source, Jeno. He was already outside, waiting for you.

"Here!" He shouted.

You began to move in the direction of the blanket, pillows, and woven basket of food that he had already spread out on the floor.

He patted on a spot, asking you to take a seat.

"Jeno, this is a study date." You asserted while raising one of the soft pastel green pillows loaded with fur.

"Because of the way the brain functions, we need to get some rest before engaging in any kind of mental training." He laughed.

"How do you plan to sleep here, it's 11 am?" You pushed him away, laying beside him.

"Hmm because you kept me from getting any sleep last night." Right near to your ear, he whispered.

"I could say the same." You exhaled.

"Yo! Lovebirds, and then you guys say you are not in love." You cocked your head to the side only to see Chenle.

"Come, sit." You said getting up.

"I'm in a rush, Jeno I needed you to help me." He declared.

"With?" You questioned.

"You already forgot? Do you need a second invitation?" Chenle teased you while you were still confused.

"I told you I'm throwing a party tonight, nothing too fancy." 

"Will there be booze?" Haechan jumped into the scene, startling you. 

"Everything, Jeno!" He pulled him by the arm until he succeeded in taking him away.

"Hmmm." Haechan hummed.

"What now?" You questioned.

"I don't know what kind of kinks you have but sleeping under the open sky here at the campus is definitely a bad idea." The only thing holding him up was his elbow, he said as he laid down.

"You don't get to speak crude things just because you're single." You flicked at his forehead.

"You are also single." He was obviously on something today since everything he said struck you right in the heart; if it weren't for the luxury of being your closest friend, he may have gotten into trouble.

"Whatever." You shrugged him off.

-

You were in your room later that evening, contemplating what to wear to the party. Other significant life decisions were open questions for someone who struggled to make decisions about their clothing.

You saw a text from your mother when the phone's alerts appeared, but you chose to ignore it. Knowing what it would be, the wisest course of action was to ignore it once again.

Haechan also phoned, but because you were adamant that nothing would spoil this evening and Jeno was on the way, the two of you chose to go together.

KNOCK KNOCK! The door signalled a visitor, your favourite one.

"Jaemin Na—who the hell is he?" Before you could even see Jeno's face, he hissed. You were taken aback. How did he know about him? You never told him, did you?

"What- who told yo- Jeno what?" You sounded muddled.

"Come inside, let's sit down and speak about it." You suggested it after noticing the others in the hallway, and he stepped in.

"Who is he?" Jeno was tearing up, gripping you by your arms. Meanwhile, you thought of a thousand different excuses. There was no way you wanted Jeno to know who Jaemin was. 

He was sobbing when you glanced up, but he was in a subtle rage. Why? Not as if he was yours. The two of you had nothing official, only lingering feelings and this would be the complete opposite of whatever was, and would happen between you and Jaemin.

You kissed Jeno impulsively, not knowing what else to do. And he kissed you back, roughly.

Two bodies breathing heavily, crying, yet never breaking the tongue contact. You were so mad at him, and surely he felt the same.

You pushed Jeno onto the bed, his eyes never meeting yours as you straddled him, sitting on his lap, forcing him to lay on his back.

"This is all because of you." He grunted.

"Oh, so now you are going to say this too?" You bit his neck, earning a groan from him. His hands rushed up and down your waist all the way back.

You ripped apart his black shirt, and moments later his pants met with the same fate. 

You kissed and bit every part of his body like some bloodthirsty vampire, with zero control over yourself. The bed was a weird mix of fluids, including the sweat from the heat and the tears from the pain. Maybe they were right when they said sex was a great escape mechanism. 

"Fuck you!" Jeno cursed, you had not seen him like this anytime before.

"You literally will." 

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[champagneher]

❝𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒔❞ —𝐤𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐚𝐞𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐠

pairing: kim taehyung x reader

based on: reader is in paris and taehyung's an incredible supportive lover.

genre: drabble, fluff, idol au.

warnings: making out, little suggestive, cursing and tae just giving boyfriend material vibes.

a/n: so... i'm back with this little drabble. hope you enjoy it and you can always send your request! lots of love. :) please go easy on me, english is not my native language. so, i apologize for any mistakes and please let me know!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Paris never looked better in your opinion. The night was falling, the stars were beginning to shine in the sky while the young people went out to have fun with their friends on this summery Friday. You weren't far behind, you had your fresh nails, your long eyelashes, your hair recently dyed a light honey brown that contrasted the colour of your skin perfectly, and of course, it was combed in a perfect bun.

You hugged your light shirt closer to your body while you watched the big city from the balcony of your -temporary- home that offered a spectacular view of the greatest attraction the city could offer you, the Eiffel Tower.

You looked at the time on your phone when it lit up with the incoming message.

Tae: I hope Paris is treating you as you deserve.

You smiled.

Me: Of course it is. It always has.

Tae: I miss Paris Me: You should come visit Paris Me: And me, of course Tae: Obviously. Why else would I go to Paris for? Tae: Oh wait Tae: There may be another reason. A good reason Me: Oh yeah?

Tae: Yeah

Me: Care to tell me?

Tae: There is this ballet dancer, who dances beautifully Me: A ballerina who dances? Me: I'm a little surprised that you like ballet. Who would have thought Tae: You're annoying. Tae: But yes. Actually, I like everything about this girl. Hopefully, I can see her soon. I met her in a café when she spilled all her coffee on my white pants and Gucci shoes Me: That's tragic

Tae: No, not at all. I got to know her and since then we have been very close. Very

Tae: I love to fuck her Me: Okay I have to go now Tae: 😊 Tae: Rehearsals? Tae: What time do you go on stage?

Me: In about two hours, 9pm, so I have to run to the theatre and keep rehearsing Tae: Hope everything goes well. I know you'll dance amazing as always just don't be too surprised

Me: Why would I be surprised? Haha Me: Talk later?

Tae: Of course baby, see you soon xx

You shook your head slightly, smiling as you locked the screen of your phone and then turned to take one last look at the incredible view from the balcony.

You could get used to this, you thought. But you missed your life in Korea. Life there as a foreigner could be incredibly difficult in time to time, but you had also built relationships with incredible people and appreciated every beautiful moment lived. You also couldn't deny that you enjoyed it more because it's where one of your favourite people was.

How you met Taehyung was definitely embarrassing, but at the same time you were grateful because otherwise you wouldn't be on the verge of collapsing from everything you felt for him. He was annoying and charming at the same time. You had never been in love, and you didn't want to be either because of your career that demanded a lot of your time. Shit. Tae's was even more demanding, you never imagined that you could be head over heels for an idol who could make you laugh until you cry in a moment and then fuck you until oblivion in the other.

You didn't have a title. You weren't officially a couple, but it was no surprise to his and your circle that you both did almost everything together. Not only that, but you could be in each other's company all day and still yearn for more time together. It was reciprocal and pure. You had met someone with whom you couldn't say a word and still feel comfortable.

Tae loved every second shared with you, he had met the person who understood him and put herself in his place without the need to ask. You both had busy schedules, which worried him a lot when he realized that he couldn't spend much time away from you, but that stopped thanks to the fact that you worked to continue sharing moments without feeling forced.

He introduced you as his, and you introduced him as yours. Still, the little pinch in your stomach that said he would never make anything official was still there, bothering you day by day. And not to mention when the opportunity to dance in one of the most prestigious theatres in Europe presented itself to you, and you made the decision -which was very hard- to go to France for 5 months to be part of one of your biggest dreams. It was a unique opportunity and although Taehyung supported you in your decision and was every step of the way here, it was difficult. For almost eight months you had not spent more than two days away from each other, and now you were separated by hours and hours of distance.

4 and a half months passed, the end of your contract was approaching, and it was bittersweet. Bitter that your moments on this stage with your new friends would end, but sweet that you would be coming home to him. You also loved every second lived here. Although it was difficult, and it wasn't necessary, it must be emphasized, you were always faithful to Taehyung. Your heart belonged to him.

You were about to return to the stage for the finale when one of your new friends walked up to you with a full smile and sparkling eyes.

"I'm about to pass out," she whispered, half screaming. She took your arm in her hands and shook it slightly.

"What's happening?" You laughed, seeing her unable to stay still because of the small movements and tiny dances she made with her body.

"You little shit, someone came to see you and I think if you don't make him yours, I'm going to steal him." She raised one of her eyebrows. She watched you look at her confused and frowning, she dragged you towards one of the panels to sneak a bit and get the public view.

"What the fuck-"

"____! You're going in 60 seconds."

"Oh, go, go," your friend pushed you back into line to go on stage.

In all the time you were out there you hadn't seen him, you weren't one to watch the public either but shit if you hadn't stood still for a few seconds after seeing him there, sitting in the third row carefully observing the performance.

Butterflies burst in your stomach and your nerves went over the top. You took a deep breath to come back to yourself and keep giving your best out there, even more so because Taehyung was there. You were happy.

You were dragged into a more private part of the place by a bodyguard, and there was no doubt it was to see Tae. The audience had gone a little crazy when they realized that one of the BTS members was present in the among them, making the exit a bit difficult, but the happiness of the dancers and the entire crew was amazing. They were all talking to each other and congratulating each other on attracting one of the biggest celebrities of the world to see them.

"I can't believe this," you managed to let out a laugh before being wrapped in a pair of arms, causing you to crash into his chest and choke your words on her neck. "What are you doing here?" It was your turn to wrap your arms around his waist closing your eyes to better breathe his perfume.

"Missed you so much," he murmured with his eyes closed. It was no secret that Taehyung was really sentimental, and when he loved, he loved hard. "You were amazing," he smiled with a heart, showing his teeth, pulling away from you a bit to look into your eyes, taking your face in his hands, your arms still around his waist.

"You think?" You asked timidly with hope in your voice.

"I don't think," he kissed yours lips softly and quickly. "I know."

Your smile grew even larger and heat consumed your face. Still you looked around you to confirm no one saw you both share tha sweet kiss. You knew it could burn the whole world if people knew Taehyung came all the way to Paris to see you.

"You're crazy," you laughed out of breath, that man really took your breath away the moment your eyes met.

"For you," he mumbled, "what about we leave and go to dinner?"

"Dinner in Paris? Sounds fancy," you started to walk away from the crowd trying to get a glimpse of Tae, but thank god, they couldn't even see him and more importantly, you. Luckily you had already changed into your jeans moments before leaving in search of Tae. You didn't want to draw anyone's attention to what you got for throwing on a black hoodie and your flats. Although your makeup and hairstyle were still intact. The bodyguards followed you as you led them out to a more discreet place where no one could disturb you.

The stars were shining in the sky above you, the wind moving your hair in a light and not overwhelming way. The sound of the living city was heard slightly below you, away from the hotel balcony where you were.

Taehyung had taken off his suit vest as well as his tie, the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows and a few loose buttons to his chest. His curls were messy from the strokes of his hand. You, on the other hand, had the opportunity to change into a light white dress of a light and shiny fabric, accompanied by small heels of the same colour as your dress, courtesy of Taehyung who had thought that you would not have enough time to change later of the show. It was lucky for you, he had taken you to a beautiful and elegant private restaurant, and you knew that without the change of clothes you would have been very out of place. You were grateful, you had a beautiful new Gucci dress, you had delicious food for dinner, and now you found yourself looking down on the city with the man your heart so dearly loved.

"Beautiful…" Taehyung mumbled resting his elbows on the concrete railings as he watched you not so discreetly, though you didn't notice. "Right? This city never ceases to amaze me," you smiled as it was your turn now to watch him. "Well, I wasn't exactly talking about the city, but yes… it's also beautiful." His left arm wrapped around your waist pulling you closer to him. Damn, if your heart didn't want to come out of your chest. With all the control you could have of your body you brought your right hand to his lower back and rested your chin on his shoulder. "Thank you for tonight, it really was perfect."

Taehyung gently cupped your face in his hands leaning back slightly to get a better look at you. It was a lot for you so you couldn't help lowering your eyes to avoid feeling that your soul wanted to leave your body for the moment you were living. "Please look at me," he requested in a low voice, almost a whisper. With your lips slightly parted you raised your gaze to connect with his again, this time feeling an extreme calm that you didn't know if you had known before. His eyes the purest and deepest brown you've ever seen, his flawless skin and his crimson lips. "Would you be mine?" His words left his lips as soft and slow as only he knew how. Your eyebrows rose in surprise, your smile appeared without your control. Was he really asking you to make it official to be a couple? Did he really want to be yours? "What?" you laughed under your breath.

"I said, ____, would you be mine? Please?" His eyes full of hope seemed to reflect the stars in the sky, his hands trembled slightly and he felt a tingling go up and down his spine. He was about to lose him if you didn't say you wanted what he wanted. He longed to be able to share those small moments full of intimacy that only a couple could share, he wanted to tell his friends that he couldn't make it because he already had plans with his girlfriend, he wanted to politely reject other people because he was already taken, he already had a girlfriend whom he madly loved. He wanted to apologize for being late because time got out of his hands for being with you, or arriving at his parents' house with your hand in his ready to introduce you as his girlfriend and partner. He wanted all of that and more.

"Do you really want to be mine, Tae?" You murmured still feeling on a cloud high in the sky but afraid that everything would be a joke.

"Am I not obvious enough, ____? You are the one I flew across the world for just so I could hold you in my arms. And what more romantic place to ask you to be my girlfriend than Paris. The city of love can now be ours… so what do you say?"

"I say you're crazy," you sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck, your fingers gently stroking the hairs on his head as you gazed at him lovingly, "and I'd love to be yours on the condition that you're mine too."

"I would want nothing more than to be yours, love." With those final words, he connected his lips in a soft and slow kiss that reflected all the emotions that were invading them both at that moment. It had really happened, you were already a couple and ypu could not be more in love.

"We will always have Paris, it will always be ours from now on. Just you and me."

[billthedrake]

GOALS (PART SEVEN)

Story idea by and collaboration with top son Turner (bimgm36@gmail.com).

TWO YEARS LATER...

[SCOTT]

The fourth day of the hike was the most spectacular. It made the longer day worth it. It helped that Austin and I took lots of breaks. Mid-afternoon, we were resting on a rock for a water break.

"Tough for a Tennessee boy to admit," Austin said. "But this beats the Smokies."

I laughed. I took off my ball cap and wiped the sweat out of my hair. Austin liked my hair medium-length in that executive cut. So that's how I kept it, neatly and professionally trimmed, the silvery gray predominating these days.

It had been that way with my gym time, too. Austin guided me into focusing on the things that turned him on more... chest, arms, and ass/legs. I'd gotten some of my midsection padding back, and turns out Austin was into that, too. He kept me motivated and in shape for an old guy, so I was happy to do what made him happy.

It had been an adjustment. The move to Phoenix two years ago, embracing divorced life, and living with another man. The ups and downs of a relationship. I was going to be working a few extra years, but my compensation was great, and it was worth it to be able to treat Austin to a nice vacation like this without pinching pennies.

"Hiya," came the voice of a group that walked from behind us. Four younger dudes in their early 30s. "Mind if we take a break here as well? Looks like a nice spot."

"Be our guest," I gestured.

We made small talk. The guys were doing some bachelor-party trip.

Austin congratulated the groom to be.

"Bachelor parties have gotten a lot more involved since I had mine," I grinned.

"Vegas?" the shorter dude asked with a chuckle.

"New Orleans," I said. "Steakhouse, and a strip club. And too many hurricanes."

"Jason here didn't want the typical shit." The blond guy speaking was cute, I had to admit. Not Austin cute, but I realized I could appreciate a man in a way I didn't five years ago.

Jason took a sip of water then turned to us. "What brings you guys here? Just a regular vacation?"

I spoke up. "My son and I like to do a big hike once a year. Kind of our tradition," I smirked over at Austin.

"That's cool," one of the guys said. "My Dad isn't walking more than to his car in the mall parking lot."

The shorter dude was getting impatient. "Ready to get moving, guys?" They all had a type-A vibe, and he clearly had motivation for a fast pace.

"Yeah," the blond dude said. I felt a little guilty feeling a sexual attraction to him. But while I'd sucked Austin first thing that morning, I hadn't gotten off that day.

We watched them take off, though, and took one more minute to enjoy the view. "Guess your old man is holding you back."

"You kidding, Dad?" he asked. Then softly. "I still can't believe we're doing this."

I had a rule: we only did the roleplay in the bedroom or in a context where we'd be anonymous. But it was a trip to see the effect of the latter on Austin.

I winked and pulled my cap back on. "Let's get going."

This day was our longest, and I was exhausted when we reached out campsite. It made me feel better that Austin was visibly tired too. Silently we set up our tend and didn't waste time making our dinner.

Normally, physical exertion kills my libido, but I was behind in the count and sex was on my mind. And I enjoyed seeing Austin in his scruffy, sweaty hiking mode. We'd held off shaving for the week, and while my scruff was mousy gray, Austin's made him look older and more masculine.

I was getting used to this too. Austin had that almost baby-faced jock next door look when he first started training me, but he was looking more and more like a man entering the prime of his life. That turned me on, too. I felt like I had the best of both worlds, a young stud who could rock my world in the sack, and a thoughtful young man who was becoming more mature by the year.

"Tough day, huh?" Austin spoke. We'd packed a flask of bourbon to toast our last night, but it seemed like a good idea to dip into it now for a sip. He raised his plastic cup toward me to toast.

I took a sip. The air was getting cooler now that the sun was getting lower. "I have a goal, Austin," I said. It was an idea that had occurred to me the last few days. "I want to do this at 60."

He shot me a playful smile. Like one of those he'd give me in the gym when I was doing well. "This hike?" he asked.

"Not this one, but a challenge. It's special doing this... with you."

He smirked. "Not with that that blond dude from earlier?" he teased.

So he'd noticed. I blushed and stammered. "Come on, Austin..." I felt bad for being caught in my lust for another guy but also peeved that Austin was calling me out on it.

"It's cool, Scott... you're a man not a robot," he said thoughtfully. I wouldn't say he was happy I was into another dude, but he seemed relieved. Instinctively I knew it was because he looked at other men all the time. "I've seen you look at women, and it's cool to see another side of you."

"It's like you're encouraging me," I said, frustrated. I had reconciled a lot in this affair and relationship with Austin. I was still getting used to being with another man. But this kind of talk made me uncomfortable. It reminded me of my own cheating history, and made me insecure in Austin's attraction to me.

He shrugged and spread his legs as he took another sip. His legs were amazing. I loved all of Austin's body, but his tree trunk thighs may be ranking up there with my favorite turn on. They were big and knotted and had gotten furrier. The rounded calves were just the bonus.

"For a while I thought you were less a bisexual and more an Austin-sexual," he smiled. "Not that there's anything wrong with that," he chuckled.

I had to laugh, too. Austin had a way of winning me over. I'd have to examine why I hard time being upset with him, but for now I enjoyed the content feeling I had with him and around him.

Then Austin got a real quiet, intent look on his face, his eye contact heavier. "That was real hot earlier, by the way, Dad," he almost whispered. We were some distance from the next tent, but maybe caution was a good thing.

I felt my dick get firm. I wanted Austin in the worst way right then. The whole intimacy of this trip together and the fact he wanted me too was going to make me rock hard.

"I figured you liked that," I said back. "....son."

"Can I pay you back, sir?" he asked.

I nodded. "What do you have in mind?"

He flashed me a toothy grin. "Let's get in the tent, sir, and I'll show you."

For all the upheaval in my life this was the payoff. The ease and excitement of sex, regular sex. I kept waiting for this phase to end, but the sexual chemistry was still off the charts.

We got into the tent and zipped it up. Slowly we stripped down. Sweaty, but that's just how sex would be this week. Our naked bodies connected as we made out. Our stubbled softly scratched each other's as we got into it. I let Austin get on top of me and he seemed to get real excited as he kissed me and humped me and pawed at my body. He was getting his second wind after a long day's hike.

"This is for you, Dad..." he growled against my neck. "Love you so much." Then he began kissing down my hairy body. I sometimes had to remind Austin I loved getting head, too. I knew he liked getting serviced and I loved servicing him. So I didn't need equal. But I got excited that this perfect young man was taking the initiative in going down on me. And not a rush job, either, but nice slow up and down bobs on my hard dick.

"Oh Austin," I gasped, "Son... suck me."

I looked down at his handsome face burying itself in my crotch. I worked my fingers through his matted hair. I thought back to the first time Austin blew me, how that felt like my first real blowjob on so many levels. I thought about the future and hoped there would be many more times. My son, bringing me off... Austin's fantasy, but increasingly mine.

"Son!" I gasped, my word cut off as my orgasm started. Austin moaned around my dick as he drank my seed.

[AUSTIN]

I tried to talk Scott out of the week of the resort tacked on to the end of our hike. But he was right. The relaxation felt like a great reward. We played golf every day and enjoyed relaxing with drinks and dinner with mountain views in the evening.

Besides, that was our division of labor. I took the lead in the bedroom and Scott made the big planning decisions. Not without my input, but I enjoyed him in that "dad" role. It made the fucks that much hotter.

The second day was the first time I'd beaten him at golf. Ever. I was on cloud nine when we got back to our bungalow, but the big surprise was how happy he seemed to be. Scott's pretty competitive when it comes to golf.

"Big day for my boy, huh?" He muttered as he tossed his ballcap on the table and turned toward me. His gray hair was disheveled with the day's sweat and he was getting tan lines and raccoon eyes from a week and a half of being outdoors. The man simply looked amazing.

"What do I get for winning?" I smirked.

He shook his head. "I've blown you every damn day of vacation, boy," he grumbled with a hint of a smile. "What more do you want?"

I undid my golf shorts and slipped them off. I was throwing hard from the anticipation and Scott's gaze made me firm up more, especially as I slid my boxer briefs off. "Take a wild guess."

He flashed a lusty grin and stepped up to me, reaching out to grab my bone. "Let me get ready," he said huskily, then met me for a kiss.

I gave him a good head start but when I heard the shower run, I grabbed some lube and went to open the bathroom door to join him. "Let me help you," I said as I stepped into the shower.

"Uh oh," he joked. "Last time we didn't make it out before getting off."

"Would that be such a bad thing?" I asked.

I pulled his wet soapy body to my own warm muscle. Scott loved my build and as much as he did his best to match his build to my desires, I got off on how much he loved my younger, harder bulk.

It had been over a week since we'd fucked. It just hadn't been practical at the backcountry campsites and the hike had been physically draining on me as well as Scott. We'd even been too tired on arrival that first day at the resort. I was always happy with his blowjobs and I'd enjoyed giving him several as well. But this felt overdue.

I reached to where I'd put the lube and squirted a bunch into my hand. "Turn around, Dad."

He nodded and I watched him step out of reach of the shower spray so I could grease him up deep between his buns. "Every time is as hot as the first," I said as I worked two fingers inside him.

"I spoil ya kiddo," he said as I now put a third inside him. He pushed his ass back to meet my probing hand, urging me to work him open. To prepare him.

"Yah, you do," I grunted. Scott knew my buttons all right and knew how and when to push them.

"You gonna let your dad spoil you some more?" His question was deep and husky. I imagined the voice he used in board meetings and my dick spurted some pre cum onto the shower tile.

I lined up behind him. Between the water and soap and lube, he felt real wet. "Yeah, Dad, I'm gonna let ya spoil me."

I thrust into him. I let out an excited cry.

"That's it, buddy. Hit your daddy's spot." He braced himself on the shower wall. The water was spraying our sides. We'd had shower sex before but this was off the charts. "Only my big boy knows how to get the job done."

I gave steady deep motions of my cock past his p-spot and plunging into his tight bowels. I held on to his soapy wet muscle, that dad muscle and fucked faster. "God, Dad!" I hissed. For all that I'd been the one to urge him to do the dad/son play and to be verbal, sometimes I was too overcome with excitement to do it well.

Scott, meanwhile, was on fire that day. "You beat me fair and square today, son.... how bout you get me off hands free?" His arms were still up, and though I couldn't see his dad spike I knew Scott was rock hard.

My blood pulsed in my brain as much as my cock. One button after another, and Scott was pushing 'em. "You think you can do that for me today, Dad?" I grunted, slowing my thrusts to a slow grind and nibbling at his ear.

"I want you to teach me, son," came the husky reply. "Teach this old dog some new tricks."

I pushed up into him. My cock felt slick now from it all. Like I was already cumming in him, though I wasn't. "Yeah, Dad, let's do it."

I pulled back and wiped the water from my face before holding his hips and pumping him again. The slow and hard trick.

Scott reached down and jerked, but just for like three seconds, to prime the pump. Then he pulled back and braced himself on the tile.

"You there yet?" I asked excitedly. I was surprised he didn't stroke more and figured he was ready to cum already.

He shook his head. "Not yet, son.... I feel so turned on though... your cock in me... fucking me."

I watched him start to reach down again. Only he resisted temptation. I heard his soft deep voice. "I want you to get me off son. Just your cock.... think you can do that buddy?"

My voice was heavy with lust. Scott made a big deal about me showing him what sex with men was about, but he was opening me up to this. "Yeah, Dad, I can do it." Of course I had doubts we'd be able to get him off just like this, but the boast was for Scott's sake, and my own. I was getting crazy turned on as I pumped into him steadily.

I knew this would take longer than our usual fucks, and it did. I had nowhere to go, but I shut off the water and enjoyed the slick sounds of our mating. And Scott's soft deep grunts urging me to fuck him. Seeing and feeling the hard, more mature dad muscle in his shoulders and back as I boned him. Seeing his arms quiver as he started feeling it.

"You feeling it, Dad?" I asked, excited. I always loved feeling Scott's ass gripping my cock, but the idea of fucking the cum out of him was even hotter.

"Yeah, son," Scott growled. I could hear that pained wanna-cum sound in his voice.

I fucked with extra hard jabs, holding him tightly. "Come on Dad!" I grunted. "Come for your boy. Make me happy... I know you can do it...." My hips were now a blur. "You love pleasing me... don't fucking stop now."

That tripped the man's wires. His 54-year-old body seized up and his cock shot hard against the shower wall.

"Fuck, Dad!" I cried. My own prick was ejaculating now, too, slickening up his insides.

I took a beat to recover my breath and feel my cock pulse, then I pulled him up flush to my wet chest and kissed the side of his neck. "What do I get if I win tomorrow?" I growled.

"I don't know," I heard softly. "Maybe the green light?"

I held him still. I knew immediately what he was talking about. Scott knew I would marry him in a heartbeat, and he also knew I had hang ups about being the one to propose. "I thought you didn't want to get married again."

Scott slipped from my grasp. Turning on the water again, he stepped under the spray for a final rinse. I followed suit, then we turned off the water and began toweling off. Our senses coming to us as the sex endorphins wore off.

"Logically, I still don't think it's the right thing. But emotionally..." he said. "I wanna make you happy Austin."

I reached up and ran my finger along his chin. "Well, maybe I need to learn from your logical side, Dad. And your experience. I won't rush things."

Scott looked at me with a conciliatory look. "Maybe we can just enjoy the honeymoon phase for a bit." He had a sly look as he gestured down. "I think you were pretty worked up just now, Austin. Your cum's running down my leg."

Holy shit, it was. I'd had some mind-blowing sexual experiences in my years, but that made me bone up again, fully. Scott gripped my post-fuck renewed erection and gave it a soft, teasing stroke.

"We'll take care of this bad boy after dinner, whaddya think?" he said. "I'm starving right now." Casually he got a washcloth and wiped up my excess sperm from his leg and crack, then padded out to get dressed for dinner.

I ogled him as we both slipped on some shorts and polo shirts. "Don't know if I can keep my logical side in charge," I admitted.

Scott chuckled and pulled my hand so that I stepped toward him. "You don't think I can't read you like a book, kiddo?" he growled. "Come on, another kiss before dinner."

"Yessir," I mumbled seconds before my lips met his.

THE END

[highfunctioningflailgirl]

10 mg of Truth

Cas approached Dean’s hospital room with a mixture of trepidation and misery pulling on his heartstrings. On the one hand, he was incredibly relieved that Dean was alive and would make a full recovery. On the other hand, Dean was in a lot of pain, and Cas knew he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. He’d depleted his grace saving the hunter from those five rabid demons who’d tossed him about like a football. For the time being, there was no juice left in him to heal the numerous fractures Dean had suffered, and it would be hard to have to watch him heal the old-fashioned, painful way.

Cas steeled himself before knocking softly on the door and entering Dean’s room.

He was awake - or as awake as someone on a high dose of morphine could be. Drowsy green eyes blinked at Cas from a face mottled with bruises. Dean’s right leg was in a heavy cast, his left arm immobilized in a sling to protect his broken collarbone. The thin hospital gown, Cas knew, was hiding a spectacular swath of bruising across Dean’s fractured ribs.

“Hey,” Cas greeted him softly.

“Hey…” A loopy smile tugged on Dean’s split lip when he recognized his visitor. He blinked again, as if those long, thick lashes of his were too heavy to keep his eyes open.

Cas’ heart did a sweet, painful little flip. He stood awkwardly by the side of the bed.

“How are you, Dean?”

That was what one asked a recuperating human, right?

Dean lazily clucked his tongue. “Peachy. Good as new in a few weeks. Hell, better than new!” He nodded at his leg. “They put hardware into me. I’ll be friggin’ Robocop!” He grinned, revealing his somehow adorably chipped front tooth.

Surprised, Cas couldn’t help but smile. He’d expected an angry, impatient Dean in a get-me-out-of-here temper. He’d expected a clenched jaw and the white-knuckled denial of pain. He’d expected the classic Winchester bravado on full display.

What he hadn’t expected was cheerful, drugged-to-the-gills charisma, and it was making him a little dizzy.

“I’m sorry that I can’t speed up your recovery,” he said, remembering his earlier woe. “At least not yet. I hope my grace refuels swiftly, so that, when we have you home–”

“Nah,” Dean interrupted him, flapping his good hand. “Don’t worry about it, Cas. You saved my ass. At least most of it.” He shifted with a goofy, crooked expression on his face. “Got a boot print on my left tush the size of Kansas, ‘s far as I can tell. But I’m alive, an’ those motherfuckers would’ve ganked me if it hadn’t been for you.”

Cas didn’t know what to say to that. But he didn’t have to, since Dean continued his hopped-up rambling.

“‘Sides,” he slurred, mischief in his eyes, “the nurses are really nice to me. And they’re hot. Well, most of them. Should’ve seen the one who took my temperature this morning. She was…” He gestured a “chef’s kiss” and smacked his lips. “Not as hot as you, though.”

Cas blinked.

What?

“Course, no one could beat that angel vibe you’ve got going on,” Dean continued, unfazed and chatty. “‘Holy’ my ass. You, Mr. Hot Accountant - “ Dean winked at him. “- were made for sin.”

Cas, struck dumb, felt his cheeks flush and his heart somersault in his chest. He’d felt attracted to Dean for so long, had hidden it as best as he could, badly, but determinedly, certain that, in spite of their special bond, Dean would never feel the same way about him. And now this - a medically induced, uninhibited flirt?

“Ah, yes- I mean, no!” he stammered. “Thank you, I -...” He struggled for words. He didn’t want to break the moment, desperately wanted to know if Dean meant this, or if it was just the meds talking. But he also didn’t want to take advantage of someone who was clearly off his head with pain meds and who, most likely, wouldn’t remember a single thing he’d said the next day.

“Cat eat your tongue?” Dean asked, his grin drooping sleepily.

Utterly confused, Cas looked around. “There is no cat.”

Dean huffed, wincing a little when the movement jarred his ribs.

“Cas,” he said softly, losing the fight against his heavy eyelids now. “I love you, man. Never change.”

His unencumbered hand searched and found Cas’ arm and slid down his sleeve against Cas’ palm. Castiel grasped and held it.

The angel had no idea what to say. Or what to think. How to correctly interpret Dean’s words. Chaos in his head and hope surging in his chest, he just stood there, Dean’s warm, calloused hand in his, and watched the hunter close his eyes and drift off to sleep.

[ryehouses]

heeeeyyyy

if it's not an indscretion... i saw that you had planned a jedi!din fic... and that it may not come to light... so if i could ask, what would it have been about?

thx even if you don't wanna answer xo

howdy!

fortunately for you i've never had any discretion ever!

i'm not gonna say that it will never see the light of day, because i keep things in my wip folder for years and years sometimes, chipping away at 'em little by little, but! on the off chance (or slightly more than an off chance, given my current self-imposed project workload) that i never get it up to posting quality, the rough idea:

i kind of incepted myself with force sensitive!din while working on a simple thing and put a little brainworm in the back of my head: ast!din is not force-sensitive enough to have been picked up by the jedi prior to the clone wars, but what if he had been?

the fic would've been (maybe will be?) kind of a season 1 retelling where, instead of being a traumatized mandalorian bounty hunter, din is a traumatized ex-jedi initiate who was out on the gathering during order 66, and subsequently managed to survive the initial purge. he's been bouncing around the galaxy ever since, doing all kinds of things to both a) stay alive and b) stay out of the empire's way.

post-empire he's kind of at loose ends; jedi aren't being hunted any more, but din doesn't really know any other way to live, so he keeps doing what he's doing and ends up on nevarro, looking for work, at the same time as some big, rude mandalorian warrior in blue and yellow armor picks a fight with what looks to din like the entire nevarran bounty hunter's guild, and hey, wait, is that mandalorian carrying master yoda?

cue din and paz's reluctant adventures across the galaxy as they run from the empire -- which, din is less than happy to find, is still hunting jedi -- and search for other jedi. it is the world's most awkward co-parenting arrangement, because paz is an asshole and din is emotionally stunted.

some miscellaneous vibes:

din has a kyber crystal, but no lightsaber, because he and his cohort were attacked leaving ilum after their gathering

din somehow still has the razor crest, not paz. din won it in a card game

din still doesn't know much about star wars

had the clone wars not hit, din would have wanted to go into the agricorps, not the jedi temple; he has a spectacular green thumb

baby jedi!din took one look at mace windu vapaad'ing all over the place and went "!!!! yes!!!"

he did know yoda -- yoda always made time to visit with the younglings and initiates -- and is really weirded out that yoda, or someone from the same species, was capable of producing a smaller yoda

the fic title came from some noah kahan lyrics, so you know it was going to be at least twice as melodramatic as it needed to be

so! who knows. i'd love to work on it some more some day!

[jgroffdaily]

Excerpts

Stars Jonathan Groff and Karan Soni and director Roshan Selthi on the joy of making “A Nice Indian Boy,” joking: “An independent film needs a famous white person to get made.”

When Jonathan Groff met with director Roshan Sethi about a role in the romantic comedy A Nice Indian Boy, he asked Sethi to cast Karan Soni as his love interest. Groff assumed Soni was straight, but he’d seen the Deadpool actor in Sethi’s first movie, 7 Days, and liked his vibe. As it turns out, Groff’s request had already been granted: Not only is Soni gay, but he’s been dating Sethi since 2018. Sethi thought he’d have to work to court Groff—“An independent film needs a famous white person to get made,” he half-jokes—when in actuality Groff was already envisioning the exact film that now exists.

To hear the trio talk about A Nice Indian Boy is to hear tales of kismet and glee (Groff pun intended). “It felt like an emotional throuple,” Soni tells The Daily Beast’s Obsessed, also half-joking. The movie unleashed its charm at the SXSW Film and TV Festival on Tuesday, capping off an intensely personal experience for Sethi and his cast.

A Nice Indian Boy, initially a play by Madhuri Shekar, is built on a meet-cute at a local temple. During prayer, down-on-his-luck doctor Naveen (Soni) catches the eye of a dreamy photographer named Jay (Groff), and soon his wish for romance has been fulfilled. Jay was adopted by an Indian family and immersed himself in their culture, but he’s far more comfortable in his sexuality than Naveen, who avoids introducing Jay to his folks (Zarna Garg and Harish Patel) until they’re engaged. It’s Meet the Parents: Hindu Edition. But not only is he bringing a boy home—he’s bringing a white boy home. With that, A Nice Indian Boy goes from a romantic comedy to a comedy of manners to a spectacular wedding comedy.

Together, Sethi and Soni wrote 7 Days, a straight rom-com co-starring Geraldine Viswanathan. That was a warm-up act for A Nice Indian Boy, a movie that begins with one dazzling Indian wedding—that of Naveen’s sister (Sunita Mani)—and ends with another. When producers sent Sethi the film script adapted by Eric Randall (In the Dark), it was like clouds parting. Here was something he and Soni had contended with their entire lives: being gay in a culture that loves elaborate marriage rituals as long as they don’t involve two men or two women. If 7 Days was like their senior year of high school, Soni says, A Nice Indian Boy was their freshman year of college, full of new liberation.

“Halfway through making the movie, Roshan was like, ‘This might be the most personal thing we ever do, so we should really soak it all in,’” recalls Soni, whose other credits include Miracle Workers and Always Be My Baby. “This checks so many boxes of our experience, and to do it together is so rare. I remember him saying, ‘We should experience and feel everything,’ which is also Jonathan rubbing off on us, because that’s all this man does. He is in the moment. He’s never on his phone in between takes. He loves to talk about things. We want to be more like Jonathan.”

Groff says he picked up the no-phones-on-set thing from Keanu Reeves, who would strike up conversation between takes while they were shooting The Matrix Resurrections. Jay is the more sanguine character in the film, so Groff’s grounding presence was life imitating art. But even if the Broadway veteran helped to secure the project’s financing, he wasn’t the biggest celebrity around. That honor belonged to Garg, the comedian, podcaster, and TikTok superstar who recently opened for Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s tour. During the Vancouver production, locals stopped their cars in traffic to catch her attention. “It was harder for her to go places than anyone,” Sethi laughs.

Not everything was uplifting, though. Sethi reached out to various Hindu religious leaders to find a consultant for the wedding scenes. Not a single Vancouver priest—including one billed as “the most liberal pundit in Canada,” who apparently sent Sethi a homophobic slur in response—agreed to participate. However crushing, such reactions underscored the importance of a film that’s very much about internal and external acceptance. Sethi and Soni eventually enlisted a priest based in Malibu who FaceTimed them from his stylish convertible.

For Groff, aspects of A Nice Indian Boy were like an analog to Looking, the swoony HBO series that also featured amorous walk-and-talks. “I could kind of be transparently myself while playing the character and not feel inhibited," he says. "Karan talked about that, too. When we get to do something gay, there’s this feeling of extra freedom. When it’s a gay story, it feels ultra-personal.”

Independent filmmakers like Sethi are reinvigorating a genre that has long attracted gay audiences without featuring them in principal roles.

“Even though there were financial and logistical obstacles that kept cropping up, it was an experience of pure joy,” Sethi says. “Halfway through, I was like, ’Maybe it will never be this good again.’ We did it with people we love about a subject we love.”

[emsuemsu]

@hprecfest day 29: post-canon

I had such a hard time to come up with recs for this! I feel like I say that about each and every one of these prompts 🥵 Like I could've had a field day with some good drarry content, but I wanted to talk about some of my favorite next gen/cross gen fics! These are not Cursed Child complaint I guess, since I don't really regard that as canon. Does anyone??? I don't read next gen as much as I'd want to, but these stories have a piece of my heart with them:

oh, i'm gonna let the future in by @thealmostrhetoricalquestion 🩵 41,480 words, scorpius/albus

Al doesn’t know what he’s doing. Not just with the new apartment, but with his life in general, and it doesn't help that his family quietly looks down on him. It feels as if they’re always waiting for him to do something spectacular, but without actually expecting it of him. They’ve given up on expecting anything of him. Al only speaks English, and he sings in the shower, badly. He likes tea, and he cleans when he’s stressed. He sees a therapist. He has a total of two friends, and one of them is his cousin. He isn’t smart; he’s simple. He wishes that could be enough.

🥹 it's been a while since I've related this much to a character in any form of media as I relate to Albus in this fic. And reading the comments to this story it seems like I'm definitely not the only one. That makes me personally feel pretty warm, like okay I'm not the only one who feels like a walking human dumpster fire at times. This is one of my all time favorite fics, I always come back to it for some comfort. It's so real and touching, the first time I read this I had to throw my phone away and sob just finishing the first part of the first chapter. It’s serving some certified middle child vibes. Lovelovelove this.

Brighter Than the Sun by @goldentruth813 🩵 12,842 words, draco/james sirius

James Sirius Potter is gorgeous. He's also half Draco's age. Getting emotionally involved with him would be a complete and utter disaster. Fortunately for Draco, he's had a lifetime of practice compartmentalizing his feelings. Draco can definitely handle fucking James—young, beautiful, rash James Sirius Potter—with no strings attached.

Now when I said I've read smut so good I've cried this is one example of that. This fic is so fucking hot in all the ways and more, I adore both Draco and James in this so much. And it’s not only the smut that gets you good in this fic – it’s the feels also. I’m absolutely wrecked by this fic. Now unfortunately the goorrggeeoouuusss art by @mzuul is no longer available for some reason, I have some hazy memories of the pieces and I’d give my hypothetical first born child to see them again 🥺

[tacomanarrows]

Decided I want to post this big project I did back in late May/early June! This was made to celebrate the 5 year anniversary of the release of Owl City's album Cinematic, on June 1st! It'll be a long post, so just be aware of that lmao

Since I started listening to Owl City again earlier this year, Cinematic has become my favorite album of his and one of my all time favs in general alongside Abandoned Pools’ Humanistic and Beat Crusaders’ EPop Making!

So with that, I wanted to draw something based around each song! With 15 songs on the album (not counting alt versions), they all translated nicely into pieces for this project! I also included a film border around each piece to tie them together, as well as due to the fact that on the album itself, each song is about a different experience or memory Adam Young has had throughout his life. He's said that he felt like writing these songs was like watching scenes from a movie, hence the name Cinematic!

As a sidenote, 4 of my characters (Shep, PBnJ, Rye and Pumpernickel) are in a cover band together called Let's Get Back!, and in addition to just celebrating Cinematic, this would also sort of be a cover album by them, hence why it says "Let's Get Back! presents" on the banner :] I'll post more abt Let's Get Back! down the line, but if you'd like to read about them now, you can check out their info hub! These pieces are almost all just Shep, despite Let’s Get Back! being a 4 member group. But since Owl City is just Adam Young, having most of these just be Shep made more sense haha

Piece by piece/song by song breakdown below the cut :]

Track 1: Fiji Water!

A song about jumping into something new and going wherever the ride takes you, since it was about Adam’s experience with signing onto a record label. The water slide vibe just felt rlly fitting here and was really fun to work with!

Track 2: The 5th of July!

Considering I was born in January rather than July like Adam was, I wanted to make this one as young Shep enjoying the fireworks, as they’ve always been something that’s fascinated me :]

Track 3: All My Friends!

My second favorite song on the album!! It’s so joyous and fun I love it so much! Of course, had to draw Shep with all his friends! This piece by far took me the longest out of all of these at more than two days lmao. It features (from left to right): Starburst, Rye, Luau, Shep, PBnJ, Pumpernickel and Wilkołak!

Track 4: House Wren!

Another joyous song about looking for a new house and having a song to sing while doing so. Just Shep listening to the house wren sing it’s happy song, simple yet effective :]

Track 5: Not All Heroes Wear Capes!

A really sweet song Adam wrote about his dad. To capture that sort of innocent admiration, I drew something Shep would have drawn for his dad at 8 years old and I think it came out super sweet <33

Track 6: Montana

I love the feeling of grandeur in this song, with lyrics about how enchanting and spectacular the landscape of Montana is! I’ve never been there myself, but I’ve seen pictures and yeah, it’s definitely amazing! So Shep is out there enjoying the amazing scenery

Track 7: Lucid Dream!

A much more abstract song to balance out the others, I wanted to capture the very, floaty starry vibe of this song for lack of a better term haha. I really like the simplicity of it! I also love the line in the song about being a light sleeper, but a heavy dreamer

Track 8: Always!

This is the one song on the album that doesn’t quite hit the mark for me, and that’s because it’s a song centered around faith. There’s nothing wrong with that of course, I’m just not a religious person. So I decided to interpret the meaning as always having a person you can love and count on to always be by your side, hence why I did it with Shep and PB, who in addition to being bandmates, are also bfs hehe :]

Track 9: Cloud Nine!

Another one of my favs, this is such a PBnShep song <3 What I went for here was a look like they’re outside stargazing and Shep is telling PB how much he cares about him while pointing out some of the amazing things in space

Track 10: Winners Never Quit!

A nice and cheerful song about never giving up and keeping on! I love the message of this one and it’s sort of retro chiptune vibe. Pretty straightforward here, just Shep with a big checkered flag for reaching your personal finish lines!

Track 11: Madeline Island!

My personal favorite out of the three travel related songs on the album (this, Montana and New York City), this one has the same feeling of grandeur that Montana does, but even more so! I also love the story of a camping trip to this island in Lake Superior, so I decided to do that! I also stylized it a bit with colored lineart for the landscape and I rlly like how that came out! Another piece that's up there as one of my favs from this project hehe

Track 12: Be Brave!

A song about the night Adam met his girlfriend at the movie theater, this is another very sweet song with a message about believing in yourself and well, being brave! Shep tends to get flustered and nervous sometimes when meeting up with PB, especially early on, so this song fits him well

Track 13: New York City!

The boys take a trip to NYC and look up at the spectacular Empire State Building! Having grown up about an hour outside of NYC my whole life, I don’t quite have the same ethereal view about it that others might, but I won’t deny it’s impressive! The Empire State Building especially is one of my all time favorite buildings :]

Track 14: Firebird!

A song about growing up, this is another one I really love. I feel like a staple of childhood is sitting with your friends outside at a wall or something similar and just talking abt life and enjoying each other’s company, so that’s what I went for. It’s another simple piece that I really enjoyed making as well as the final result!

Track 15: Cinematic!

And the grand finale!! Cinematic is my favorite song from the album and my second favorite Owl City song overall, just behind Rainbow Veins!! After all of these songs that Adam wrote from his experiences, this song feels like a magnificent culmination of that and a passing of the torch to us to go and be the stars of our own movies and lives! It’s such an amazing song with a fantastic message and I can’t get enough of it! I also used some new brushes to make the film strip and I’m actually super happy with it!

So all in all, Cinematic is my favorite Owl City album and one of my all time favorites in general. Every song is unique and brings a great message and story. This project, although very time consuming, was an absolute blast to work on and brainstorm around. This album means so much to me and I really hope I was able to showcase some of that here. Please go give it a listen if you’ve never heard it before, or even if you have and it’s been awhile! I know there’s a lot of people who don’t like Owl City’s newer stuff, but give this one a fair shake! (Coco Moon is a fantastic follow up too btw hehe) So overall, thank you Adam for making such fantastic music for so long now and I can’t wait to see the show in Indianapolis later this year!!

[yellowocaballero]

just rereading your reverse robins au...i have to say, i don't think anyone understands tim drake like you do. by far the most superior reverse robins au to ever exist. and it's not like tim is the only character you understand either! you get them all! it's earthshattering & spectacular.

I would love to demur and go "oh, surely I'm not the only one who understands Tim Drake and writes a suitably unhinged Tim just as unhinged as in the comics -"

No. I am. You guys need to shape up about writing Tim. What is with this sadboy 'I just want a family' 'where's my coffee' woobie stuff. Go back and read the comics. This man is fucking insane.

I've talked before on this blog about how I finagled writing a Tim who is very much unlike any Tim, but who still feels the same. The man REALLY canonically has an addictive/obsessive personality (complete with deeply escapist tendencies and disregard for if the object of addiction is dangerous/bad for him - it is the profile of an addict). We feel that, because it's his personality in the comics, and even though no sane person would write the kid with a coke addiction we still vibe that it fits with what we know of him. Sometimes choosing to write somebody DRASTICALLY out of character can get down into the core of the character better than anything else.

In fanfic people write Tim as perpetually seeking a family, and I think on one level it's true - he LOVED Dick's (guilty.) attention and brotherhood. But I don't think he really had a father relationship with Bruce and I don't think he really wanted it. Man literally tried to falsify an uncle so he wouldn't have to suffer adult supervision. Bruce kept him at an emotional arms length because of Jason. When his dad tried to reconnect with Tim as a teenager, Tim did love him and felt guilty for the discord he caused, but he just straight up wasn't emotionally invested in the relationship(and not really for abuse reasons - comic split between bad parents/abusive parents is uhh ill-done, but I think Jack is almost never written as an abusive parent with authorial intent, which imho is the important thing). Tim holds adults and family figures at arms length. He's close with Young Justice, but they never even know his ID - he loves them, but he's not intimate with them. He is a cold person and he never really tries for anything different, when he has something different he has NO idea what to do with it, and I don't think he really wants it. But like that doesn't fit Batman sad baby adoption narrative soooo

I think at the end of the day what Tim is defined by is loss and absence, and it can never be defined by presence because Tim is no longer a person who can accept that. He is the single most interconnected character in the Batfam (DC was pushing for a lot of #teenheroes at the time and he was buddies with ALL of them), but all of those relationships have an absence where Tim is pathologically incapable of vulnerability. His life is comedically, comic book sad - he has lost a dad, a mom, a step-mom, an adoptive dad (400% PARENTAL MORTALITY RATE), a girlfriend, a best friend, and another best friend. That is NUTS. And cuz comics are kinda whatever about things, he just goes on his way. Comics don't acknowledge these things. But what you end up with is a Tim, who one way or another is always alone, and who always accepts that.

I couldn't quite express everything I wanted to express with Tim in the prophetic spring, but by the Cass story I had improved as a writer enough to show what I wanted to show. Tim is an old character with a lot of stuff going on, so I could basically pick any emotional throughline I wanted, but I picked for me what I think has defined his life. Tim's story was about a child who had been depressed since he could remember. Tim is the story of a lot of victims of emotional neglect and who live their lives in deep depression that is never acknowledged. He is never vulnerable for a second (even with Cass - and that's what Cass struggles with during that story, how vulnerability isn't knowing but saying), and the depression is sublimated/repressed and never acknowledged cuz Bruce does the same damn thing and he didn't notice lol.

In a way, in that story, Tim's mental health and drug addiction spiral is a good thing. Tim loudly and publicly developing a drug addiction was his way of asking for help, his way of finally screaming that he was in pain. Worst possible way. But it was kind of the only way he could, because Tim didn't know how to ask for help, because he didn't know how to be vulnerable. He could only figure out how to be push everybody away and try to violently throw them out of his life and how to be cruel to them, and it's fucked up that it was his way of asking for help - but Cass knew, and Cass understood. And Cass wasn't going to ignore it anymore.

There are a lot of insanely reliable things about me and it is that I CANNOT shut up when I talk about Tim. Thanks for reading this long-ass diatribe jakldfjlasdf.

[gotlostonmywayhome]

Girl Back There Valentine's Day Self-Rec List

I've been kind of going through it with my physical and mental health over the last several months. I haven't been doing a whole lot of creating as a result. I attempted to do something for Valentine's Day, a ficlet, a drabble, a moodboard, something, but I've been lacking the time and motivation.

While I'm working on not letting that get me down, I thought I would at least do a self-rec list to put out work that I have done in hopes that I will get back to my creating ways someday. I've only written one fic that is Valentine's Day themed, but I do have a few soft, squishy fics for you to enjoy the holiday with.

A Holiday More Meaningless than President’s Day (Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton, Rated M, 5k)

Clint has a minor problem. Despite seeing all the advertisements and heart decorations everywhere, Clint hasn’t thought about Valentine’s Day. Now he is wondering if the Russian spy/assassin/all-around-badass he has been secretly banging like a faulty screen door for the last few months wants to celebrate the holiday. Since Bucky wants to keep their thing a secret, does that mean he doesn't want to celebrate? Would Bucky be upset if Clint treated today as a normal Sunday? Does Clint want to treat today as a normal Sunday? And even if Bucky does acknowledge the holiday, how does one handle this day with a fuck-buddy? Clint is nowhere near psychologically mature enough to handle these things.

Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet (Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Rated M, 6.2k)

Bucky doesn’t know how his mother managed to Jedi mind trick him into dropping off Becca at summer camp this year, but she somehow did it. Despite his grumpiness at the unreasonable hour in which he was wrenched from his nice and cozy bed, Bucky is glad for this time with his little sister. Becca spends their time talking about the activities she got to do last summer that she hopes will be back again this year, all of which was organized by Steve Rogers. After she came home from Camp Marvel last year, all Becca could talk about was Steve Rogers, one of the counselors for her team, The Howlies. Steve Rogers was an amazing artist. Steve Rogers participates in all of the competitions despite his asthma, scoliosis, heart arrhythmia, and various other medical issues. Steve Rogers totally drinks his respect women juice. Bucky would be worried about his sister may be developing a crush on this Steve guy, but after meeting him, Bucky is more preoccupied with the crush he's developing on Steve. So preoccupied in fact, he ends up signing on to be a camp counselor for the summer.

The Sunrises in Wakanda (Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Rated G, 2.8k)

The sunsets in Wakanda are unrivaled if you ask anyone lucky enough to see them and Bucky agrees. They are truly spectacular, but Bucky prefers the sunrises. The start of a new day in this life he managed to carve for himself since the fall of Hydra.

(More after the cut)

In a room full of art, I'd still stare at you (Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Rated E, 9.6k)

The blond grabs his chest and throws his head back, laughing with his whole body. Bucky can hear the sound from where he is across the gallery. The sound is far deeper than Bucky could have anticipated on a man that small. Bucky can feel the sides of his mouth curl upwards at hearing that laugh. As if his thoughts called out to him, the blond looks over and catches Bucky staring. Bucky should look away, he’s being rude and creepy, but he can’t. Those startling blue eyes have him snared.

Animal Husband(ry) (Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Rated T, 1.2k)

Ear scratches, man, they are the best.

Vibe Check (Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Rated T, 1.1k)

Harley and Peter worked too hard to get their dads together for Tony to forget to give Steve flowers.

Love You Latte (Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Rated T, ≤1000)

Clint’s favorite customer strolls in at a quarter to eight. Exactly on time and looking as delicious as ever with the no tie, open collar look. It nearly leaves Clint tongue tied.

Coming Home (And Finding You) (Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Rated T, 1.4k)

Phil has a rough mission. When he gets home, Clint has all of Phil’s favorites ready.

The Universe is Ridiculous (Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Rated T, 1.3k)

Phil should know better and be careful about what he asks for. Or at least be very specific as to what he asks for. The Universe has a wicked sense of humor and will likely do exactly as wished.

[asecretvice]

I was living my life normally and unSupernaturally until yesterday when my mother, soon turning 60, admitted a previously untold dream of visiting New England in the fall before she’s too old. Suddenly I was dropped into a Ratatouille-esque flashback with the words Summer always made Dean restless echoing in my head.

In short, do you have recommendations on where to visit? Is Maple Hills based on a real town? Before relying on influencer guides to plan, I remembered how well you conveyed the ‘vibes’ and wondering if you had any advice. Appreciate this is a very random ask, so no worries if not!

Ahahahahahaha! Sorry-not-sorry for ending your streak of living normally and unSupernaturally ^_^

Well obviously, as I'm sure is already a factor in your mother's untold dream, if you're going to New England in the fall you must see the TREES. They will call you leafers! How spectacular the colors are depends on the weather during late summer and early fall, in my experience. Also it's been several years since I've been out there, and I'm sure climate change has altered the calendar, so to speak. There are maps that indicate when they expect "peak colors" to occur in different latitudes. Those won't come out until closer to time, so keep this in mind.

As for the rest of it...yes, Maple Hills is based on a real town, but as I think it would reveal to much about my brickspace life I hope you understand why I won't say which. However, lovely small towns are dotted all over the place, so you won't be left wanting.

And ye great and terrible gods, PLEASE do not rely on influencers to plan your trip!!! Instead please accept both my regional and basic trip-planning advice.

Also, disclaimer. Although not considered New England, upstate NY is also an option [matt lucas controversial!!! dot gif]. I will therefore mention it from time to time.

STEP ONE: WHAT ARE YOUR INTERESTS?

It is important to prioritize things that appeal to you. Should you use travel to try new things? 100%. But you don't want to overextend yourself either.

Do you like...NATURE and THE OUTDOORS? Congrats, there's lots to see! From the aforementioned gorgeous woodland, to various mountain ranges, picturesque farms and vineyards, and of course the incredible coast, you're bound to find a piece of nature that speaks to you!

Just in it for the visuals? For mountains, the great Appalachians go all the way up to Maine with some subranges and ranges that might not be subranges but I'm not a geologist so bear with me. Look up vistas of the Adirondacks, the Catskills, the Greens, the Whites.

For water, look up the coasts of Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Connecticut. There's also beautiful Lake Champlain shared between New York, Vermont, and Quebec.

I'll be real. You want to drive along windy hills and find a cute little dairy farm with their happy (not so) little free range dairy cows around every corner? Vermont.

The woods? Mostly the northern states: NY, VT, NH, ME. In the latter's Acadia National Park, you can take a trolley through and get immersed in its beauty...and incidentally see where incredibly rich people live deep within or near it, like Stephen King (who is of course always inspired by the area).

Want to actually get all up in it? For a region that's known for its skiing in the winter, you bet it's well known for its hiking opportunities as well. The Appalachian Trial is all over the place, but of course there are plenty of popular day hikes or expert level shit, like Maine's 100 Mile Wilderness. New Hampshire's Mount Washington--I have double-checked this--is indeed the highest peak in the region. If hiking is not your thing but you still want the views, it's a popular tourist destination that provides a train up to the top and things to do and such.

For boating, sailing, what have you, you're definitely gonna find it all up and down the coast, and Lake Champlain, and the Finger Lakes in NY, and--depending on where you're going to fly in and how far you're willing to drive--there's also Niagara Falls, though that is of course stretching the New England mandate (if you're not familiar with the area, it's basically Buffalo, NY, in the western part of the state and abutting Ontario). You can in fact take a ferry service in it called the Maid of the Mist.

As for beaches, you can find all sorts. Sand, rocky, city piers and such. Go Maine if you want fewer people around.

And don't forget that most important of coastal structures, LIGHTHOUSES. Incredibly famous and lovely lighthouses all up and down the coast! Don't neglect them!

What about animals?? Sadly I think you will be too late to go on a boat ride to see our lovely puffin friends, but of course where there's North American woods there are various birds, bears, deer, and butterflies to be seen and admired, so look up what's in the region for your animal of choice. (Seriously, Vladimir Nabokov was studying butterflies all over the place in the area.)

Do you like...FOOD AND WINE? As with every region of this glorious world, you are in for treats!

Are you all about that dairy? My friend, my friend, my friend, verily you cannot skip Vermont. Your local stores and restaurants will have the good shit, but why not go out and find a nice dairy to tour (Vermont cheddar! My kingdom for Vermont cheddar!) or treat yourself by going to the Ben & Jerry's factory in Waterbury, VT.

What about maple syrup? Vermont takes tops in my opinion for this as well, but upstate NY will also have great places you can go if you'd like to try tapping trees yourself, or see how it's made, or simply sample their delicious wares.

Don't forget about fruit! Fall season is orchard season, baby!!! Especially find those apple orchards and enjoy picking your own apples, drinking their apple cider, or eating those delicious fucking cider donuts. Man.

Like some wine? Finger Lakes region of NY is well known for its excellent quality vineyards and wineries.

What about beer? I'll be real. Boston. Boston has flavors of Sam Adams the rest of us can only dream of.

Seafood? Your coastal states again. Maine of course is well known for its lobster. The region for its clams...I'm sure there are many individual states, towns, or stretches of coast that lay claim to the best lobster rolls or clam bakes or clam chowders or how it best prepares their quahogs or other seafood...I am not a seafood person myself so I don't have a particular opinion, but those are some of the dishes to look into if you are!

What about farm fresh in general? You could probably find that most places.

Do you like...CITIES? While Boston is a must-see city, you've also got Providence and Newport RI, Burlington VT, Concord NH, and Portland ME. And yo, don't forget Montreal QC!

They all have a variety of vibes that might suit you, from fancy restaurants to university campuses to lake or ocean coastline. As with any part of New England, layers of North American/United States history abound. Boston especially, though, is expensive. But let's talk about some perks!

In Maine, your biggest city is Portland. Some quirky and local Maine color, like if you're an outdoorsy person maybe you appreciate LL Bean gear; they've got the flagship store there. But it's got great amenities and sits right on the ocean. If you want to be on the Maine coast with maybe fewer people, well, a lot of rich folks have felt the same way. If you want to see some cute towns along with eye-popping mansions, consider Kennebunkport (famous summer home area of the Bush family) or Cape Elizabeth, neither of which are too far from Portland. If you'd like to venture further north, I recommend Bar Harbor; that's the place to go to see Acadia National Park, take a boat out to puffins at certain times of year, go whale watching, a cute small town with (at the time of my having been there) less of the old money contingent.

In New Hampshire, I've mostly driven through but I have seen Concord (its capital), which had some great buildings and some good food. It was fun to walk around and not a bad place to center yourself if you're looking to take trips to various areas, from the ocean to the mountains.

In Vermont, Burlington is right on Lake Champlain, so right away you've got those great water views and activities. It's also fun to walk around Church Street Marketplace, that multi-block pedestrian area rare to find in the US. Also, it's a less than two-hour drive up to Montreal, which is one of the jewels of Canada! (Alas, I have not been myself; I have however discovered that the further north you go, the more likely you are to walk into a place and they'll casually be speaking French. Très cool.)

Connecticut I can't really speak to at all, as I've never been there, but they've got a lot of major college/university areas like Wesleyan, Trinity, and of course Yale.

I haven't been to Rhode Island either, but I hear much more tell from those who have. Providence is said to be great, and between Brown and RISD you're bound to find great museums and fun things to do. Newport is where you want to go for a seaside vacation, the type of place with a lot of history, pretty buildings, and incredible piers for the boating types. It's also an area for the old rich, like the Kennedys. Food scene's supposed to be good, too.

BOSTON. I mean...it's expensive but it's great! I loved walking along the river. But my favorite thing was walking the Freedom Trail! If you're unfamiliar, it's a path marked throughout the city that stops at historically significant places, like the site of the Boston massacre, Paul Revere's house, Old Ironsides, and some graveyards with very, very old dates (relative to the country's founding). But I won't lie, one of my favorite parts was that, walking through one of the neighborhoods it takes you through, it was the only time I heard someone speak with a true Boston accent. Utter delight. Be still, my heart!

Anyway, if you're into the things that colleges and universities can offer you, Harvard and MIT and whatnot will have you more than covered. Plenty of others in the area, like Tufts, Boston College, and so on.

Boston is also home to wonderful museums! Not only the Fine Arts Museum, but the Gardner Museum that was subject to an infamous art theft, the Museum of Science, and all the college museums, etc.

And finally, sports! If you like pro sports, Boston hosts many of the local and New England teams with their own rich histories. The Red Sox, the Patriots, the Celtics, the Bruins.

Elsewhere in Massachusetts, for your obligatory rich person hangout because it's breathtakingly gorgeous: Cape Cod, including the islands of Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard, is your area.

Do you like...TOWNS? There are so many.

Massachusetts and New England in general have a wealth of higher learning institutions, many of which are situated in towns of various sizes. In MA alone, you've got Williamstown (Williams College), Amherst (Amherst, Hampshire, UMass), South Hadley (Mount Holyoke), and Northampton (Smith). Vermont's got Middlebury (Middlebury College), Maine's got Brunswick (Bowdoin), New York has Poughkeepsie (Vassar) and Ithaca (Ithaca College and Cornell). And that's just off the top of my head!!! These places are smaller but have to host kids and their families, and they're old, so you get beautiful campuses, quirky eats, and lots of brochures telling you what entertainment is to be had. And because many of these places and some I'm sure I haven't named belong to the colonial colleges, the ivy league, or the seven sisters, they will be thrilled to tell you all about the famous people who graced their halls.

If you want to chill in the Adirondacks in upstate NY, and you want tiny towns, I have a friend who often travels to the Keene area. The pictures she sends me are exquisite. Otherwise I would maybe just find places close to where you're going to headquarter yourself for the trip.

Do you like...HISTORY and HISTORICAL FIGURES? New England! Is! North American and United States history! And more!

First, acknowledge and seek out the First Nations and their tribes. You've got a lot to choose from, such as the Wampanoag, who have their own version of the Thanksgiving story to tell. Off the top of my head, some more are Mohawk, Oneida, Mohican...not sure how far east the Iroquois Confederacy stretched.

This naturally leads into early European colonization, mostly Puritans from England and the Dutch in the early days. This will lead you to the French and Indian War, the Revolutionary War, the War of 1812, and so on. I won't exhaust the list of what you can see, but if you have any interest in those periods of history, look up what battles or other places intrigue you, and figure out what is on offer in the modern day.

Past the colonial era and more into the later waves of immigration, there are old and famous enclaves of Irish, Italian, French, and Portuguese immigrants. If their cuisine or history are relevant to you, do some research (I've a friend who grew up bilingual with an old dialect of French still spoken in RI). Of more modern waves of immigration I know little.

What about specific figures? I've already mentioned a couple presidential families, but you'll also find a ton of artists and writers from New England, or who made NE their home.

Once again, off the top of my head: Washington Irving ("The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" "Rip Van Winkle"), Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Louisa May Alcott, Elizabeth Bishop, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Herman Melville, James Fenimore Cooper, Phillis Wheatley, Anne Bradstreet. Lol, those are just writers. Who else...shit, of course, all the civil rights stuff! Frederick Douglass did a lot of his work in New England; consider also the big names in women's suffrage, like Susan B Anthony. Utica is a good city to think of if you're into the conferences where activists like Douglass were active for both abolition and suffrage; it was also a stop on the Underground Railroad.

I think we've covered all the major categories of interest, so let's move on to step two.

STEP TWO: NARROW IT DOWN

I hope as you read the first section you were writing down ideas, and have since discussed them with your mother. Now you have to consider

--How much time can you take off for the trip? --How much money are you willing to spend? --How much, and how, are you willing to travel during the trip?

For example, maybe you're the type of travelers who are happy to spend one day in a place and move onto the next. Or maybe you find that exhausting, and want to stay in one small area. Or maybe you like to split the difference, pick a headquarters, and go on some day trips.

How far away from New England do you live? If you have to fly, the cheapest flights are likely going to be into a big city; in my experience even flying somewhere like Burlington will cost you a lot extra (again, depending on what airlines you have available and how close you are). The area is served well by trains. Because there are lots of towns and big cities to travel to, you can often find shuttles from the towns (especially college towns) to and from the big cities. Obviously it's the US, so cars work well.

Rank interests. If the leaves in fall rank number one, you should probably cross off the southerly states now. But consider if you also might want lakes, oceans, what type of mountains. What other outdoor activities you might like to do, etc. See if there are more historical places you're interested in connected to one town over another. Get what I mean? If you're only going to be gone for a week, I wouldn't suggest staying at more than two places if you really want to dig your toes in.

Also, between the two of you...or your mom and whomever she's going with, make sure the compromises are good. Each person should have a highly ranked item accessible to them wherever you go.

Now, it's time to get into the real research.

STEP THREE: THE REAL RESEARCH

I kid you not, the first website I go to whenever I'm going somewhere completely new is wikivoyage. If you're unfamiliar, it's the travel subsidiary of wikipedia. It's absolutely fantastic, because it gives you overviews of everything and has current and correct links to associated websites. Like if you've never been to Boston, maybe you don't know the pros and cons of getting there. It'll talk to you about how to get there by car, by plane, by train, by bus, by boat. It'll talk about the different neighborhoods, list local foods you have to try, all the museums and places of interest, etc. It will link you to the appropriate websites for public transportation, and in Boston's case, tips for riding the T. Let's be real, it also discusses areas where it's safest for tourists to be. And it does this for everywhere. Here's the link for the New England wikivoyage page.

This is an excellent first stop because it links to real resources, and gives you a good overview of any of the places you're interested in. Jump straight into that rabbit hole!

That way, if you know you have to fly in, you can look at all the main airports of the region and start working from there.

Also consider where to stay. Wikivoyage will give you an overview of that, but consider associations and things that will help you make sure you're staying at a good place. I know airbnb is the rage, but consider, if you're able, a) inns and such are subject to more laws and regulations meant to protect you and b) they can be so quaint or so grand! Peruse the Historical Hotels of America, or New England Inns and Resorts, both organizations meant to help and support such places, many of which are locally owned and operated.

Also, wikivoyage will give you overviews of the weather of where you're going and at what time of year. Consider accordingly.

STEP FOUR: ONLY PLAN 50% OF YOUR TIME

So. You've decided where you're going to stay and how you're going to get there. Now it's time to narrow down your activities.

Only plan 50% of your time. I am so serious. This will create so much less stress and conflict. Only plan half of each day. Or if there's an activity that is a full day, don't plan anything for the next day if possible. That way there's room to, you know, be late to things because life is as life does, or if something gets canceled you can try the next day, AND it leaves space for things that you won't know you'll want to do until you get there. Like maybe you've never been to the Atlantic before, and once you see it all you'll want to do is sit and stare at it. Which is LEGIT. So leave yourself time to do things like that, hey?

STEP FIVE: FIND A REAL MAP. PLEASE.

Friend, I hear you already. "But I've got gps on my phone/in my car!" Well, I don't care!!!! I know this tech has come a long way since then, but I swear to you when I was in Maine several years ago, we had to rely on my map reading skills for half the trip, on a real map. Accurate, current real maps are getting so much harder to find now, especially if you're not in the target region, but please take the time to source one. You really never know...and ALWAYS use common sense before blindly following gps. Literally have known people who drove straight into lakes in Vermont -_-

Also expect cell service to be spotty in less populated places. Again, having a real map on hand will be peace of mind.

If you are taking any driving trips, plan out your route beforehand. Look up pictures of your destination online, especially streetview, so you know what to look for. Also, popular destinations will have good directions on their own websites.

In my fic when I say there are no roadsides in much of New England? I meant it.

STEP FIVE: PACK LIGHT AND PACK RIGHT

I swear you don't need all that. You pack it, you carry it.

Again, look at the general weather, and then closer to time don't neglect the actual forecast.

If you're going hiking or out on the water, look up the typical weather patterns for that trail or coast. They're often fickle.

Leave room for new books ^_^

STEP SIX: ENJOY

The hard part's already over. Relax and have fun! And then, if you're going along anon, come back a few months hence and tell me all about it!

I hope this has been helpful. Feel free to ask whatever else.

Bon voyage!

[itsmyregularcat]

In honour of US Tour 6 sadly, but triumphantly, rolling up the proverbial sidewalks, I just wanted to give a general thanks to all of the actors and everyone involved with the production over the past two years or so. These casts were 'my' casts, in the sense that they were the first ones I ever got the opportunity to see live (and subsequently meet) since joining the fandom years ago. There is a loose connection with them that I will always cherish.

I was lucky enough to see the tour a total of five times in three cities between the two non-equity casts, and I loved every second of the days dedicated to seeing driving, seeing new cities and areas, or being giddy about Cats in general.

I would like to do a small 'lookback' post about the days I saw the tour and present a few signed things I got along the way:

The first city was two spectacular nights in Ottawa at the National Arts Center, including my first time ever seeing the show. I was able to meet almost the entire cast at the stage door over both nights, and I will always be thankful for being able to chat with some of them for a few minutes who chose to stop. Shout-outs to Michelle and Zach specifically.

There was something so beautiful about seeing the musical live for the first time, especially at that venue. Little has ever been so captivating as experiencing the show and Jellicle Ball in person.

Here is a nearly full cast signed bag from those nights.

The second city was the only night in Hamilton, Ontario (which was as close to a hometown show for me as the tour could be), where I saw the second cast for the first time. My mind is still blown by how good that show was. It was utterly amazing (and re-reading through the messages I sent to friends about it reaffirms my level of excitement from December). Especially about Yuka as Vic.

I would say that I think was the best overall show I was able to see out of the five. I described it as magical that night, and I still stand by that.

As with before, a nearly full signed bag from that night.

As a preface to the third stop, I have get a bit sappy. The best part of this fandom has always been the opportunity to meet and interact with people from all over the world who love this show. Specifically, I have been blessed to have had Cats introduce me to someone who has become my best friend over the past three years, as well as a few others that I chat with regularly.

Probably the most special stop out of the three, or at least the most spiritually rewarding, was the third one. The last city was all the way out in Binghamton, NY (for me, who drove over 6 hours from southern Ontario to attend) to meet up with real-life Demeter @munku-collar to see the show together.

The fulfilling experience of sitting beside someone and just becoming engrossed in the show in a totally different way than the other times was amazing. The singing along, the loud cheers all throughout, the tears (for real) at times, and all the little dances in our seats made both nights wonderful. The energy and vibes were simply impeccable. Enough that the cast themselves were giving us a bit of extra attention and love while on stage. I am not making that up either, we were actually told that by certain actors afterwards.

It was something we promised to one another would happen, and it was even better than I could have imagined. Especially the second night when she went in full cat. I will never forget the attention or the excitement of the audience reacting to the cosplay, and the joy it created for a lot of them. Being privy to it was something special.

Anyway, talking with Hank (especially) and Brian after the two shows was incredible too. Both of their welcoming demeanors and down to earth attitudes made it feel like I had known them as friends in a small way rather than as a dumbass fan. (I am not even remotely their friends, and will never claim that I am, just to clarify. It will assuredly be the last time I ever talk with them). Either way, I really appreciated their kindness then, and I still do now. They are good dudes.

Regardless, huge huge shout-out, thanks, paws-in (yep), and appreciation to Broadway In Binghamton for gifting me not only an A4 promo poster that I got signed over both nights, but also one of the big-ass show posters straight from the outside lightbox when the show closed.

Below picture for perspective, as the thing is huge, about 5ft x 3ft in size.

I hope that the US Tour returns in some fashion sooner rather than later. The tour represents something greater than just singing and dancing kitty cats to not only the fans but also some of the actors. It is the physical link that reinforces the fascination for fans of course, but also allows for a mutually rewarding experience and even support for those on either side of the stage in my opinion. It is just too special of a show to have it end for long. The people need their kitties.

Thanks for all the good memories US Tour 6. Now and forever and all that. Bring an Electra next time please.

[girlreviews]

Review #365: Madvillainy, Madvillain

This is such an interesting, unique record. Madvillain is (was) comprised of Madlib and MF DOOM, and it’s their only studio album. 22 songs, most of them under three minutes and none feature any kind of traditional structure like choruses or hooks. Despite this it’s cemented itself as not only one of the greatest hip hop records of all time, but also albums of all time in general. I feel like maybe it was lightning in a bottle for this one – although both artists have an incredible and respectable discography on their own.

The story of this record is just as interesting and unique. Madlib and MF DOOM had been collaborating on it for a few years, with DOOM responsible for the lyrics and flows, and Madlib responsible for the beats and production. Seems like it was a match made in heaven, really. MF DOOM is sort of unmatched in his word skills. Seriously though, there’s really plenty of write ups and deconstruction of his style and remarkable abilities, and the guy was absolutely out of this world good at what he did. I’m not particularly well versed in the ins and outs of creating good hip-hop or rap, but I do know that anyone making use of so many different literary devices in their music is some kind of genius. It kind of blows your mind to untangle it all, because it’s hard to comprehend someone being just that talented, but also that clever. If you’re a lover of words and language in general, then you will enjoy a lifelong love with MF DOOM. Or rather, you can, if you look in alternative spaces for exceptional wordsmithing.

Madlib has a really unique and specific sound incorporating really obscure samples from really jazz and soul, which at the time was sort of different, but I imagine is less unexpected now, since Madvillainy set the tone for future music. He also pulled from Indian and Brazilian music. Honestly, just as above, you could spend your entire life poring over all of the details, sounds, and samples and you’d never get bored and never cease to learn. Isn’t that fucking spectacular? That these two particularly unique and gifted artists created a single record together that can provide a lifetime of learning and admiration? And that it almost didn’t happen: just over a year before its release, a demo version of the record was leaked publicly and the duo were so disillusioned from the experience that they stopped working on it for some time. Thankfully, they eventually resumed and released it and now there’s life before Madvillainy, and life after it. I wonder if they knew what they had created before they released it. That public leaking of unfinished work is always such a devastating situation for any artist.

I had been introduced to this album in 2013 when several tracks showed up on various playlists made for me by others. One of them also featured Jai Paul’s BTSTU. His debut album suffered the same fate as Madvillainy, and his promising career was seriously derailed. He remains a bit of an enigma to this day, although he is actually playing live shows in 2024, and I’m excited to be going to one of them. I don’t know, it’s always a really strange thing to happen to a record and sometimes it cements its legendary status and sometimes it destroys the creator.

They created it quite separately and with very little communication. Madlib recorded the majority of the beats and music in Brazil on a cassette tape, sent it to MF DOOM who then added his lyrics. They collaborated without really collaborating and it stands out a lot throughout: MF DOOM was in tune to the sound and incorporated it into his words – take Accordian. The accordian sound on loop throughout comes from Experience by Daedelus. But the final line in the song DOOM makes mention of it:

“Your first and last step playing you like an accordian”

It's simple when you consider it, but that they put this together without actually discussing it and just providing their own individual contributions and vibing off of one another makes it that much more unbelievable that this record was the result. They themselves described the process of creating these songs as “telepathic”, without “a lot of talking”. Two artists with a one-time joint creative mind. I don’t know, I find it hard to put into words just how bananas this all is when you listen to it.

Something that I find fascinating about Madvillainy is the way in which both Madlib and MF Doom incorporated their alias persona’s into it. There are song credits that feature MF DOOM and Viktor Vaughn – the same person delivering the words – but towards each other and from differing perspectives. It’s sort of mind-boggling how this was done: Madlib gets into it with his own alter-ego, Quasimoto on America’s Most Blunted, and DOOM creates a weird love triangle between himself, his girlfriend, and Viktor Vaughn in Fancy Clown. Why? What was the point? Well, why not? And didn’t it produce one of the greatest records of all time? Maybe more artists should get this creative and ridiculous with their work. Pitchfork called Fancy Clown “a brilliant concept” and hailed it as “hip-hop’s first schizophrenic self-diss track”. Think about what they’re really saying there. It’s really, really, very cool.

To be able to give my normal descriptions of what it sounds or feels like, I’d have to listen to it another 100,000 times at least. I find it so dense and overwhelming – in the best way – but there’s nothing to do here but to listen to it. No amount of description from me or any other person reviewing it will adequately convey the magic of it. It’s just really that fucking good. Overlook it at your own expense. Enjoy.