#the way Dazai def did not do that

[sad-emo-dip-dye]

They’re crushing her dreams yall

[raitonsfw]

𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚒𝚝 '𝚝𝚒𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 | 𝚍𝚊𝚣𝚊𝚒 𝚘𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚞

synopsis: Dazai has gifted you many things in the years that you’ve known him. Jewelry, books, clothes, lingerie… Anything that he thought suited you. When you wear one of his gifts to the agency without thinking, it was just supposed to be another day at work. But little did you know that the reason why Dazai bought you the black dress was that it was for his eyes and his eyes only. And not to mention the matching set that you wore underneath it practically sparkled in the luminosity of the office.

warnings: 18+ mdni, fem!reader, smut, exhibitionism, embarrassment, lingerie, fingering, dirty talk, teasing, slight degradation, dazai's a little mean, petnames (sweetheart, baby, darling, dear), use of honorifics.

a/n: dazai basically fingers the reader on the train ride home cuz he just couldn't wait. my friend gave me this idea and it was so fun to write. nice to write fem!readers again after writing character ships for so long. defs needed a breather. wc: 2.2k. m.list

divider credit: @benkeibear

The train wasn’t too busy, though to you it seemed like everyone and their mother took this exact train in order to spite you. You don’t know why Dazai had insisted on taking the train from the agency today, the hurriedness of it confusing you even more. Normally the both of you would walk the streets of downtown Yokohama in order to get home, stopping to sightsee and shop a bit along the way. Sometimes he’d buy you dinner on the edge of the river, other days he’d bring you to your favorite bookstore.

But today he was absolutely restless to get home, with quicker footing than usual and a hush to his voice. You were filled with concern because of this. He was never quiet, the boy was like a walking radio to you as he’d chatter (or sing) away the afternoon about anything and everything. When you both reached the station and past the people that crowded it, his lips were bitten red and he kept a hand pressed against your lower back, ushering you into the train carefully.

Fortunately for you, you both had ended up on the last train where barely anyone sat. Most of the people you had pushed through earlier sat up near the front of the train car and onwards, filling the spaces with awkward silence. Dazai snagged a seat to your left, next to the divider of the sliding doors. He leaned into it as the train made its way down the tracks, crossing his leg over his other with his hands folded neatly in his lap.

“Dazai-san, are you okay?” You asked, your voice a bit dry as you hadn’t spoken much since you left the agency. Putting a hand on his thigh to soothe his bouncing leg, he turned to you with a slight flinch but quickly registered your hand’s warmth and gave you a small grin.

“Never been better,” Dazai said, the fakeness of the smile evident. “Why do you ask?”

“You’ve seemed quieter than usual.”

“I just can’t wait to get home.” He sighed out gently, whimsicality etching his tone.

One of his hands had come to rest on yours and he rubbed it lovingly. He seemed calmer than before, but something was still bothering him. You decided to backtrack the day in your head; you two didn’t do much today at the agency.

You had looked over some of the papers Kunikida had assigned to you, ran a small errand with Atsushi, and watched Dazai successfully manage to steal a sweet from Ranpo without him knowing. Nothing else out of the ordinary stuck out to you and you frowned a little, still unsure as to why Dazai was being so weird.

“You can tell me if something’s bothering you.” You frowned at him and it looked like he almost caved, his mouth falling open to speak. But you second guessed yourself as he shut it quickly, his eyes falling past your lips.

Something was bothering him, but he didn’t have the heart to tell you. He didn’t have the heart to tell you that the dress you put on exposed your lingerie in the most discreet of places. The agency’s lights did you no justice, making the crimson colored set pop out underneath the dusky sheerness of your dress. Perhaps if he had been walking behind you in the evening glow of the sun, he would’ve had to fuck you behind a bush on the way home.

No one else noticed it, too preoccupied in their work to even give you a glance other than to say hi and if they did...well Dazai would’ve known. He watched you like a hawk all day, making sure no one mentioned it to you, partially in fear of embarrassment but mostly because he didn’t want you to change.

But yeah, something was bothering him and that was his dick.

The entire day he was hard, was aching for you to look at him and realize what you did to him. He curled up in the corner of the couch with his knees almost pressed to his chest, hiding the bulge as much as he could for most of the day. But you were too busy to pay attention to him being the hell of a worker you are; of course you couldn’t possibly have noticed his predicament– the predicament you caused.

Not even when he pulled his overcoat over his lap when you talked to him about past missions, you didn’t bat an eye. Not when his sentences faltered a few times during a meeting with Fukuzawa, did you even think to ponder why. And definitely not when he dashed off to the restroom more than a few times (only to come back with a bit of an attitude), did you realize that you were the cause of his pressing situation.

He couldn’t quite catch a break today, could he? You walked into the office, knowing damn well he gifted you that dress with a mischievous smirk plastered on his face. He even wrapped the bow on the gift box neatly, paired it with little explicit intent that it was for him. And not to mention that matching set you were wearing, also courtesy of his lust for you. The red lace peeked out just enough from the cut of the dress and he had to hold back the gasp that left his mouth when he recognized what lingerie set it was. You were decked out in his finest picks, innocently running around the office with papers falling from your arms whilst sucking up to Kunikida’s hellish requests.

“Y/N-san, you wore the dress I bought for you.” He pointed out, a bit uncertain of how to explain to you that it was sheer. “It’s beautiful on you.”

Your face lit up at the compliment. “I am! To be honest, I had nothing else to wear and I decided this would be a nice change. Instead of my regular pantsuits.”

“Would I be an asshole if I tell you it’s see through?” Dazai decided to come straight out, chuckling lightly. He watched your face fall and he immediately regretted telling you. Maybe he should’ve waited until you guys got home.

“No way, it’s not!”

“And that red number you’ve been wearing is...” He continued in a seductive whisper, leaning closer into you. “Why do you think I bought it, sweetheart?”

“I wore it in front of the entire agency, Dazai-san!” You hissed out, the embarrassment reddening against your neck and you attempted to hide it beneath the collar of the dress. No wonder he gawked at you the entire day, no wonder he stumbled through his sentences, no wonder he rushed you to the train station, no wonder he-

“Oh, please. Someone would’ve told you if it was extremely noticeable.” He could turn this around. He was an expert at that, his fingers tracing up your delicate sleeve. Dazai brought your hand to his lips and pressed a light kiss on the back of it, his eyes louring as he looked at you from his peripherals. “On the other hand…I wish I told you sooner.”

“I’ve been holding back all day as you dumbly walked around the office like you damn near owned it." His right hand slipped underneath your dress, latching onto your thigh. “Thought of so many positions I could fuck you in…if only the supply closet was enough for you but you hate dark places. Maybe the president would’ve let us leave early, then I could’ve bent you over the-”

“Not so loud.” You shushed him, trying hard not to relinquish yourself to the warmth against your thigh. It was too late though, your arousal had you wrapped around his pretty little finger, yearning for more.

Dazai dropped your hand on his lap, pulling it over the bulge of his trousers. You palmed lightly at it without much thought, feeling the curve of his erection within its confines. “Look what you did to me, baby…Had me almost humping my hand with how good you looked. Not like you cared though since you were so busy with Atsushi-kun today.”

He huffed out a small whine as you pulled your hand away quickly, peeking around the corner to see if anyone saw his action. Everyone was still peering towards the front of the train car, idly scrolling through their phones or listening to music that was much too loud in the ear. The divider covered almost all of Dazai’s lap, a basic blind spot, but you were still nervous.

The feeling of his fingers grasping against your inner thigh shot you from your thoughts as they mingled upwards to the heat of your cunt. You were already dizzy with excitement but this couldn’t happen. Not in such a public place, the strangers amongst you would definitely hear your soft whimpers. Though the thought of that made you see stars, the adrenaline rushed in your blood and directly down to the pit of your abdomen. The heat pooled there, lingered as his lithe fingers pulled at the thin lace covering your clit.

“There’s people at the front of the train, we can’t just-” You whispered, trying to move away from his hand but he had already felt the wetness that collected against the naughty material. His fingers pushed through you delicately and you shuddered at the feeling, a quiet gasp leaving your mouth.

“I don’t think I can wait anymore, darling.” He pleaded quietly in your ear, nipping at the soft shell of it. He left a kiss behind your ear and gave you a small hush as a whine got stuck in the back of your throat. “If it makes you feel better, I can lay my coat over you.”

You nodded quickly and mere seconds later, his discarded coat was thrown over top of you to shield the neighboring passengers. His hand found its way back between your legs, in the exact position he had it before and you brought the sleeve of his coat up to your mouth to muffle your moans.

“D-Dazai-san…” You breathed out as his ring finger circled your clit whilst his pointer and middle plunged into you with no remorse. He kept a shallow pace, thrusting in and out slowly to avoid extra noise (though he wouldn't have minded hearing the way your slick sounded as you became wetter with each press of his fingers). His other hand held his phone out in front of you on your lap, scrolling mindlessly through social notifications– to distract the people around you. In case you got caught. Sneaky bastard.

“Look at what Kunikida-kun posted today on our website! He’s so savvy, isn’t he?” He beamed at you and you couldn’t even respond back, pleasure swirling around in your head as Dazai continued fucking his fingers into you. Changing his pace to unabating pressure that nestled against your clit, you squirmed in your seat. Your legs threatened to close against his arm but you forced them to stay open, near silent whimpers pouring from your mouth.

Dazai wanted to hear them, those pretty moans that he forced from you, but he picked pretty bad timing to teeter you off the edge of pure ecstasy. He loved the way you clenched tightly around his fingers as he found your sweet spot– your face contorted with a slight furrow to your eyebrows and you panted into his coat sleeve like it was your source of oxygen.

“Looks like there’s rain tonight, guess we can’t go on that walk anymore.” He pouted innocently and you felt your nerves screaming at you– faster, closer, so close you squeezed your eyes shut harshly at the growing pleasure. A moment later, you were falling apart against his fingers, desperate to keep quiet as your whole body shuddered in his palm. Your whole body tensed up as you let out a rather loud moan, much louder than you thought, though it was talked over by Dazai’s glorious distraction. He didn’t stop moving as you fluttered around his fingers and you gripped onto his bandaged wrist with a weak hand.

He slipped them out of you as you calmed down, a quiet sigh resonating through the fabric of the coat. You felt him wipe them off against the inner material of it and he stood up, stretching his arms up. Throwing on his coat smugly, he looked at you and offered his hand out. “Our stop’s coming up, dear.”

You knew you’d look like a deer in headlights if you stood up, still flushed from moments before. You took his hand though, wobbling as you gained your footing while the train decreased in speed. As you smoothed your dress down you remembered the reasoning why this all happened and you cleared your throat, a sheepish smile coming to light in the corners of your mouth.

“Let’s get you home quickly before the rain comes.” Dazai said as the train halted to a stop, the doors sliding open. He moved you in front of him, his palm flush to the small of your back again. As you stepped off the train, he leaned down to the shell of your ear to murmur something.

“Keep the dress on for me when I fuck you properly.” Just a reminder what’s his and his only.

a/n: wanna get tagged in future writing posts? join my taglist!

[cheriiyaya]

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ In all the time you've know dazai, he's just never let himself near you...

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ Contents: dazai x fem!reader, NOT PROOFREAD, touch starved and emotionally constipated dazai my beloved, hurt/comfort, descriptions of blood and injuries, dazai can't take care of himself for shit, established relationship, use of pet names, lil angst, dazai gets injured, reader and dazai aren't to far in their relationship, slight religious imagery near the end, just yeah

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ W/C: ~2k

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ A/N: yeah this DEF probably lost the poll but i had such a good idea for it so im doin' it >~&lt; @chuuyrr and @ruanais my lovelies here u go <3

When you heard dazai had gotten injured, you were sent into a worried frenzy. Yosano tried her best to reassure you, consoling you with the fact that his condition was stable as you clung onto her. Thankfully his wounds weren't that bad as to warrant a hospital visit, so he was sent home right on time.

It didn't matter to you that you technically didn't live with him yet- you'd only been with him for a month or so-you stuck next to him and went to his dorm that day with him, even as he told you it was no worry.

"It's really nothing, I'm fine." The way he chuckled out the words sounded strained, like it was a plea of sorts. You shook your head, holding out your hands for the keys. He glanced at your outstretched palm and chuckled. "Why, it seems you doesn't even trust me to open my own door." He pouted but placed the key to his dorm door in your hand.

"I do, I just wanna take care of you." You slid the key into the lock, twisted it, and opened the door and stepped inside. Dazai followed in quietly.

"...You really don-" You shot him a look and he quickly stopped himself from saying more, a sheepish smile on his face. As he entered his dorm you went behind him and pulled off his tan coat and flung it on a chair. As you did so, you noticed...

"Is that blood? oh my god osamu-" he cut you off with a short kiss to the lips, chuckling a bit as he pulls back.

"Love, it's old blood I'll be fine. Just lemme clean up, 'kay?" Those reassurances did nothing to soothe your worries. There was ruby-red stains of blood on his shirt right by his left shoulder blade and the visible bandages on his neck and wrists had a smattering of blood on them. Noticing your worried look dazai curled a finger under your chin, pressing his lips softly to your forehead as he smoothed down fly-aways in your hair. "don't worry." And with the lingering words of that whisper against your ear he went into the washroom, closing the door with a soft click behind him.

You don't know how long he took in the washroom, but either way you found yourself standing in front of the door, listening carefully at the shuffle of shoes scuffling on the floor and light sighs that dazai would emit. It sounded like he was fine, but you couldn't escape that lingering feeling in the back of your mind.

So you knocked, very gently against the wooden door.

"...osamu? You alright? You've been in there awhile." Silence, the a voice from the other side responded.

"Yes, I'm fine, don't worry about it." there was an edge in his voice, one that caused you to tense in worry.

"are you sure?" more silence followed you slightly panicked voice.

"yes, love I'm fine so plea-" a muffled hiss of pain was heard, then a sharp intake of breath. "...please don't worry." his voice was quiet, as if he knew you wouldn't listen.

"Do you want me to come it?" You couldn't hide the shake in your voice. after a minute or two of no response, you debated in your head whether or not you should just go in and check on him.

the door creaked open and you carefully stepped inside, gently calling out his name. dazai turned and looked at you, leaning against the counter shirtless and the bandages that usually serve as almost a protective skin loosely wrapped around him. Your heart dropped when you saw the open gash on his left shoulder blade, dripping sticky mahogany down his back. He smiled crookedly, a smile that made your heart throb in fear and worry.

"...I swear, it's not as bad as it looks. It just opened a little..." He trailed off, taking in a shaky breath as he saw your expression. "Don't look at me like that." You took careful steps before him, prying your eyes off the wound on his back.

"that needs to be stitched up. Let me do it."

"do you even know how to?" He chuckled a bit.

"Yosano taught me how to stitch up a wound once." You opened the cabinet under the sink. "Do you have a suturing kit?" dazai shook his head. you sighed, reaching in and moving around some rolls of bandages and such until you found a small container with needles and a roll of dental floss. you bent the needle into an arch-like shape, carefully emptying out the container of needles-far enough out on the counter that you knew none of the needles would fall onto the floor- and filled it with steaming water before dropping the arched needle into the water.

"Dental floss? You're gonna stitch me up with dental floss?" dazai chuckled.

"Mhm. It has less of a chance of breaking than regular thread." You washed your hands and fished out the needle, threaded the floss through it's eye before looking back up at dazai. "Can I...?" You motioned to the loose bandages on his torso and he slowly nodded.

You went behind him, pulling away and unravelling the sullied bandages and letting them drop onto the floor. Now that his entire torso was bare, you saw not only the gash, but multiple scars that ranged from tiny cuts to gunshot wound scars to long gashes. Swallowing, you wetted a towel and cleaned the blood off the wound and his back.

"Okay, I'm gonna stitch it up now..." Dazai hummed and offered a small smile.

"Oh yeah? be gentle if you're gonna kill me-you know I hate pain." You pierced the needle through his skin, feeling dazai's back tense and hearing him release a pained hiss. "Ow! Bella' that hurts!" He whined and you clicked your tongue, pulling out the needle and pushing it back it.

"stop whining." You couldn't help but smile even as you scolded him. You stitched up his wound and somewhere along the way his whines died into short grunts and hisses of pain whenever the needle pieced flesh and tissue and whenever it left.

"Stay here, alright?" You didn't wait for a response before leaving the bathroom and returning with a clean white button up. When you came back, dazai was trying to bandage himself up but you could tell that with an injury like that, it wasn't easy to. You set the button up down on the counter and gently pried the roll of cotton from him, looking up at him. "Let me. Please osamu." He hesitated before sighing, reaching out to cup your cheek in his hand.

"Alright..." He let his thumb brush against your cheekbone before letting it drop to his side. "After all, how could I deny my lovely girl when she asks so nicely for something?" He joked and you felt your lips curl into a smile.

"...there's that pretty smile." He said softly as you began to unfurl the roll. You wrapped it around his arms, probing him by asking if it was too tight-to which he always responded that it was "perfect". As you wrapped him up in spools of cotton you noticed how he unwillingly shivered each time your fingers grazed his skin, how he'd tense as your knuckles pressed against raised, scarred skin.

"Do you not like it when I touch you?" You murmured, pausing as you awaited a response.

"Why would you think that?' He smiles at you, cocking his head to the side.

"Just...nevermind." You began to wrap him again, but his voice stopped you.

"C'mon, what's wrong?" He turns around to face you, smiling a bit. "I wanna know what's going on in my darling's pretty little head." He poked you in between your eyebrow and you whined in response.

"It's just...You always flinch or just find some way to stop me whenever I touch you." It's true-dazai would always find some way to escape even the most innocent of your touches yet he was always fine with showering you with his sweet affection.

He chuckled, cupping your face up and he kissed the area he poked.

"I dunno what you're talking about, love." You rolled your eyes, poking his shoulder, and huffing out a soft "turn around", which he complied to and you continued wrapping his up as you spoke.

"Don't lie to me, you know damn well you do." You stopped bandaging him when you reached a particular scar on his shoulder. "Why do you do it?" You lightly traced the tip of your finger down the scar, causing him to tense up and try to move away. You squeezed his bicep as he tried to escape your touch. "Stay, please." He chuckled, turning his head to face you to say something before you cut him off with pressing your lips softly against the scar.

"Darling please-"

"I've been saying the same thing over and over again, and you haven't listen to me. Now you will listen to me." You pressed another kiss to the nape of his neck, rubbing comforting circles into his shoulder with your thumb.

"Please tell me why you keep hiding yourself from me." You whispered against his neck, the warm air of your breath raising goosebumps along his skin.

"I just...bella'." He sighed, looking at you through the mirror. Once he saw your expression, that pained expression on his darling girl's face he just had to say it, the words couldn't stay in.

"...I don't deserve you." That was it. The answer was simple and curt, yet it left a gaping hole in your heart and thousands of questions.

You were silent as you finished wrapping him up.

You wanted to make him happy, you really did.

So why did he feel undeserving of you?

You thought of it as you watched dazai lay on his futon, staring blankly at the ceiling after refusing to eat. You crouched beside him and sat on the floor, brushing his messy, dark bangs out of his eyes.

"Osamu? Can...can I stay the night with you?" You swallowed, your voice quieter than you would've liked. He nodded and you hesitated before laying beside him. "Move a bit."

You curled up beside him, feeling him tense up again before tentatively putting a hand a hand on your back. Dazai's eyes widen as he watched you sit up, hovering over him with a pained expression.

"...'donna?"

"Why don't you think you deserve me?" You trailed your fingers down his face, tracing every single one of his beautiful features as they contort into a sad smile.

"You want to know? It's because you're a delicate, pure thing and such things do not suit a blackened heart like mine."

"why not?"

"Because, my dear. You're an angel."

"And you're not?" You brushed your fingers through his hair. "Even if you weren't, the devil himself was once god's most favored angel."

He chuckled softly, leaning his head further into the pillow. "Ah, love, you have such a way with words; I don't suppose you could find a way to poison me with them?" You sighed and cupped his face, tilting it up before brushing your lips and fingers over every place and every curve of his features.

"Don't. Relax. Let me give you what you deserve." You whispered against his skin that had taken a pink-hue under your care. You kissed every part of his face and neck you could reach, peppering his skin with traces of love. Once there was no more room to fill with love, you moved to kiss every crease and scar of his calloused, blood-drenched hands as if to cleanse them of sin. His lips caught yours in a tender kiss, lithe fingers sliding into your hair and pulling you down to him. You left multitudes of promises with him, burying deep into his heart with every breath that the two of you took.

Dazai Osamu was yours, he'd always been. You were dazai osamu's, you'd always been.

Just like adam, you'd pluck the forbidden fruit if he asked you to simply because of the foolish thing called love. Even if you'd get cast away into hell you knew that he was the sought-after paradise-

Even if he didn't believe so.

©Cheriiyaya 2024

[ma3mae]

Hello!! I hope you are doing well, wanted to say I love your work !!

Can I request how the BSD boys (Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Chuuya, Fukuzawa etc) would react to gf!fem!reader saying “I am just a hole” after they did something attractive? Something fun and suggestive ehehe~

No brain, just horny!

Summary: No one cared about you being down bad for you bfs since everything's mutual, right? (Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Fukuzawa)

Genre: fluff, maybe crack, def suggestive themes, maybe a tiny tiny bit of smut. Who knows 💀

Warnings: yall gonna be horny after this 🤓

A/N: was kinda difficult to think of fitting scenarios but i had fun writing this!! Also thank you for loving my work, anonnnn 💕💕💕💕

Part 2

Dazai Osamu

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAAAAAAT 💀💀💀💀

HES HORNY 24/7, DONT EXPECT HIM TO HOLD BACK LMAOO 💀💀😭😭

okay okay so lets say yall are at the ADA office

hes done with annoying the shit ouf of kuni and now hes just sitting on the couch, literally bored out of his mind

Kuni tells u to tell "that dumbass idiot of a boyfriend🤩" to finally get back to work so u go up to him

u know that scene where he leans his head back onto the grave and slowly tilts it back down and opens his eyes while having that soft smile on his face? oda's only purpose was him dying so we'd get that scene, crying fr 😭😭😭

Yeah hes doing exactly THAT as he notices your presence infront of him, flashing you a smile and only for it to spread even further as he notices your dazed face 💀

"Oh, bella? Too lovestruck to talk to me, I see. Can't help it that I'm just so hands-"

"I'm nothing but a hole for you"

I DONT KNOW HOW SOMEONE COULD EVEN SAY THAT 😭😭 THATS SUCH A WEIRD THING TO SAY AND SO DUMB BUT NO ONE CARES 🥲🥲🥲

AND HIS HORNY ASS DOESNT GIVE TWO SHITS EITHER 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

his eyes are fking bulging as he hears you say that infront of him

ACTUALLY shocked that you had the guts to legit say that outloud and luckily no one rly heard that except him he wouldnt mind if the whole ass office wouldve heard that, we KNOW 💀

you manage to get a good laugh out of him before he just shoots you that god awful handsome smirk before he suddenly stands up

Towering over you, he leans in and whispers "Never thought you'd be so dirty to say stuff like that during working hours. Not that I'm complaining! I'm glad to have such a strong effect on you, bella~" got me blushing fr😳😳😳

Its too late to realise what you've just said. Your fate has been sealed.

OFF TO HORNY JAIL YALL GO 💀💀🗣️

no jk but nah nah he wont stop there

Youve awakened the fking horny beast in him and how could he refuse his love offering herself so blatantly while your coworkers were literally in the same room?? 🤩😋

He just takes your hand as he proceeds to leave the office

Kuni just yells "Oi, where the hell do you think you're going?! Only told you to tell him to work! Not join his stupid shenanigans!! 😡😡"

YOU KNOW that ur bf just turns around and shoots him that annoying ass smirk, only to say

"But Kunikida, we are off to work actually! Nothing you'd be able to do anyway. Tell me when you've found something interesting in all that paper work of yours! Can tell you that our job will definitely be more fun than that~ 😁😁"

You can only give poor kuni a sheepish smile as atsushi just deadpans at the both of you, muttering a "good luck 😐" towards you as your bf just drags you to his car because your job's gonna be too loud to do at the ada and going home wont be an option since dazai's not patient in that sense 💀💀💀

Already sending prayers to you for having to go back to "work" while being sore af and dazai looking like he got out of a 10 day wellness vacation 😭🥲🥲

dazai's actually gonna spare our poor kuni by kinda doing some paper work but our man will be forever traumatised bc hes not oblivious 🗣️

Especially after seeing your neck littered with hickeys 😭😭 u cant hide them, youve got a damn mosquito as a bf 💀

kuni just tosses a bottle of water your way without looking at u bc he thinks its not modest to shamelessly look at them 😤 I LOVE U KUNI

"thanks, i guess" is all you'll hear from him bc at the end, you DID get dazai to work but at what cost 😭

Kunikida Doppo

Flabbergasted. Shocked. Disappointed. Shamefully not too hard to turn on. 💀

His first reaction is gonna be like u just told ur mom u forgot to do the laundry 😭

DEF gonna scold your ass off for saying such things in such an inappropiate setting

its not your fault hes being so hot during work 😤😤😤😤

Tell him off for being so handsome!! 🤩

Wont stop his scolding but u cant take him serious when hes fumbling over his words

Still manages to thank you for ur compliment even though its embarassing af 😭 no way would he refuse such kind words from his love 😋

So anyway it could go two ways with him

The first would be if yall wouldnt be alone at the ADA

You go up to him to ask him about a report you need help with

Ive never seen kuni tie his hair up but... imagine catching him doing that...

With the hair tie in his mouth as he pulls his hair back and like...

It makes u think of the times you'd yank it back during yk what 🤭

So he notices you gape at him and is all like "🤨 are you alright?"

Cue to you just uttering "Damn, kuni. You only gotta ask. Am just a hole for you anyway" out of nowhere

LMAO you can just hear dazai cackling from the couch as your bf just looks at you like 😳 with his mouth agape and everything

Dazai just walks up to you to pat your shoulder

"Kunikida, you've got quite the daring girlfriend!" "SHUT YOUR ANNOYING MOUTH UP"

kuni just quickly ties his hair back and BROO he nearly feels so violated and exposed 😭😭😭😭

Why would u do this to him AT WORK 😭

Ngl u and dazai prob team up to annoy him to death like hes just so fun to TEASE 😤

Anyway he just tells you to get back to work and when u tell him you need some help, he begrudgingly does it bc its important but you can still his hands shake a bit and his face is red as he tries to give you advice on ur work skskksks 💀

Be ready to get scolded for HOURS when yall are on ur way home 🤓

But dw u know how to shut his beautiful mouth up 🤭😋

But if you do the whole thing while yall are alone at work bc kuni decided to stay a bit longer then THATS a different story

Lets say he does the same thing again as above ^ and u say the same thing

He'll def turn a bit red and tell you that you cant say stuff like that during work!

"But kuni, we're alone and no ones gonna come back anyway. It's nearly 8pm after all."

The sun's setting and the only light that softly illuminates the room and it just steals ur fking breath bc 😭 hes so gorgeous with his hair open 😭😭😭

But u can still see his gaze on u, making ur knees weak bc BROO

horny jail for kuni too????? 💀💀💀

jk but he'll clear his throat and just say "a work place is still a work place so i cant let this inappropiate behavior just go like that..."

You're like standing infront of him and he grabs you by your waist, softly kneading it as he tells u to sit on his lap 😭

"Will teach that mouth of yours how to behave. Maybe after this you'll be a bit more tame. Think that idiot has been a bad influence on you like he has with everyone but don't worry. I'll be sure to teach you everything again."

I'll let you imagine the rest here 🤭🤭

Edogawa Ranpo

man just wants to eat his candy in peace, get ur horny ass away from him 🤨🤨🤨🤨

u thought dazai's a whole bitch???? Nah nah this is a MAN CHILD right here

This man wont give u what u want, nah he'll let u suffer alone LOL 💀💀

if this happens at work then 🤷 honestly depends on what mood he is i think

its a hot day in yokohama and the air conditioning is not rly helping yall

so u kinda wanna go grab some ice cream during ur break and u dont need to think twice about asking ur bf to go with u

fr he'll be SO annoying if u dont take him with u 💀 but dw he obviously knows why u r approaching him rn 🤩

but he takes a while to catch on why u just stopped and looked like a fish rn like a combo of this :0 and 😳

he just goes "🤨"

"Damn, the bathroom's close. 'am just a hole for you anyway so let's go" u legit go 😨 after realising what u just said

How no one hears that, idk but this hoe DEF heard u well

U r even more scared bc he just sits there and doesnt react but oops

only needs some sec before he opens his eyes and smirks at u 🤭

"Eh~ You've got guts, Y/N. Saying naughty stuff like that during work hours. Not that I mind though. Just shows how smitten you are by the World's Greatest Detective~"

"N-"

He just waves a finger at u like you're a lil kid getting scolded rn 💀

"Ah ah ah, don't try to refute that fact. Can't blame you for your reaction after all. It's still funny to me that all it took was me losening my tie, gliding a hand through my hair and open up a button of my shirt. ~ "

He just gets up and gives you a peck on your cheek before walking ahead

"I still want that ice ream though! If it's good then I'll give tending to your needs a thought!" 💀 THIS BITCH

but dw he'll make sure to show u how smitten he is after that bc ur mouth just tastes better after some sweet ice cream, right 🤓??

but u know whats the best combo with saying that sentence?

a jealous ranpo 🤩

like ok quick scenario

lets move this outside of work, ok?

So yall are walking around and some random dude decides to hit on u and hello 🤨cant he see that u r legit holding hands with the world's greatest detective??

u kindly tell the man to fuck off but nah hes not letting u chill

wraps protectively his arm around ur waist, clearly showing him that YOU. ARE. TAKEN.

"with that scrawny lookin dude???" bro hes got a death sentence 💀

time for ur bf to show him his skills 🤭 which means threatening him to expose everything about him

immediately tells him where he lives, what he does for a living, where he likes to shop, where his parents live. E. V. E. R. Y. T. H. I. N. G

he just smirks and puffs his chest slightly out as that dude just fking runs off bc id be terrified too 😨

He deserves it tho ✋

"What a fool! Thinking he could challenge ME?! The greatest detective to ever live! See how terrified he was!" hes fking cackling before stopping as he sees ur face

brothers and sisters, we are LOVESTRUCK

and that hoe cann see that right away 💀

"Thank you..." like should we say how hot that was???? maybe 😳😳???

"And?" AH obviously he got us 😭

but we too embarassed to say smth but NICE, theres a nearby alley so u know where hes dragging us 🤩

Pressed up against the wall and hes just centimeters away from u as he asks again

"That wasn't everything you wanted to say, right~? Of course you find me" hot" but just wanna hear it from you, love."

"FUCK, am just a hole for u" 💀😳

goes wide eyed for a sec before chuckling and saying "Well, that wasn't what I wanted to hear but I'll let it count!"

His eyes travel down your neck before finally saying "Hm, I've got an idea in how to make everyone know that you're taken. I deserve a little treat after having saved you, no?" 🤭🤭🤭 got me blushing fr

Anyway problem solved, no one made moves onto u after that and it might turn into a habit before yall go out for the next times 🗣️

But no one's complaining hihi 🤭🤭😳

Fukuzawa Yukichi

oh god where do i even begin 💀

i gotta hold myself back from getting off topic when it comes to HIM 😭

honestly this man has seen and experienced so many things, u gotta do a lot to catch THIS man off guard 💀💀

bro he had to deal with mori's ass in his 20's for too long and STILL deals with it till this day 😐😐😐😐😐

not to mention the agency is like his fking orphanage at this point 😐

Already enough that his first child is still a child with his thirty years of living on this damn planet 🤓

lets say u work at the ADA as well and now yall r holding a meeting to go over some details for a random mission

Idk if its just me but... the way he sits there and is leading that whole shit, telling em what to do and how they could handle it the best way, while encouraging everyone to work hard n stuff... idk....

Its just so HOT 😳😳😳🤭

like hes so charismatic, fuck dazai, yall cant compare ANYONE to this man 😭😭😭😭😭😭 no wonder everyone follows him, id lick his shoes too 😭😭 HORNY JAIL FOR ME?????

anyway he dismisses everyone and the both of you are the last ones to be in the room bc u r just sitting at the table and staring at him like 😳

Dw my girl, hes been noticing the way you've been looking at him the whole time

"Is everything alright, my love? You've been staring at me for quite a while now."

"N-No its nothing 😳"

nah no need to hold back bc we know our knees r gonna buckle the second he takes ur hand

AND HE DOES 🤩🤩

his eyes slightly crinkle at the end as you can see amusement dance in them

"I know that look when something's on your mind. I'll respect your decision to not tell me but I'd like to know what it is."

honestly your red face is already proof enough whats on ur mind but how can u hide it when hes just looking at you with such an intense gaze UGH I LOVE THIS MAAAAAN 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"W-Well the way you just handle everything with ease even though its a lot of pressure and i dont know...it's just really admirable but also hot when you tell them what to do. wouldnt mind you doing that in the bedroom too, you know. id be a hole for u anytime like this... "

u tryna mumble that shit out of embarassement but he clearly heard you 💀

And he does go wide eyed out of surprise because DAMN thats still pretty straightforward and was kinda the last thing he'd thought you'd say but honestly... he doesnt mind it 💀

in facr hes liking it a bit too much for himself 💀💀 but who is he to complain? Especially when his lover is being so honest with him?

" So you want me to be a bit more authoritative in the bedroom? I-It might be a bit awkward for me to do so but if it's something you desire then we'll gladly try it out together. We should be done with the mission around the evening but if not then..."

you feel his hands gently cup your face as he presses his lips against yours before pulling a bit too soon for your liking

"Then I hope this will suffice until then. I'll be sure to thank you for your patience after everything's over."

THE ONLY THIINNGG

THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO IS SAY YESSSS 🤩🤩😭😭😭😭😭

IDC IF IM NOT SPEAKING FOR EVERYONE BC

We WILL wait for him OKAY 💀💀✋✋✋

he just strokes your hair lovingly as you try to hide ur face bc hes just too blinding

anyway as the both of u get ready to leave, yall just hear quick shuffling behind yall bc OOPS

THE DOOR WAS OPEN 💀

THE KIDS DIDNT LEAVE LOL 💀💀 THEY HEARD EVERYTHING

"😳☺️🤭😏" u can choose which ADA member would make which face 💀💀💀

ngl u prob sometimes call them ur children and BRO

ranpo actually annoys u for some candy ngl 💀

u once punched dazai's gut bc yk he'd ask the stupid question like

"if you're our mom, would that make you a milf?"

send him back to the MAFIA trash can he came from 🤩🤩

jk but might write a oneshot about him even tho hes difficult to write 💀

will def do a part 2 of this bc it gives me an excuse to simp for these men 💀

[chocsra]

general chuuya hcs bc hes bbg

he has long ass natural eyelashes and gets insecure cus of it (since he feels uncomfy bc of his height and feminine proportions), so he tried to rip them off once but koyo stopped him

i think its canon but genuinely practices in the mirror for anything and EVERYTHING AND ITS SO FUNNY

his smirk is 50/50, its either really attractive or really cringe (isa joke)

wears robes at home

hes awkward w kids

when he watches movies he overexaggerates everything and is extremely overdramatic

self conscious ab his fashion will ask for advice all the time

hes really fun to be w and most of the time he asks like an ass (affectionate)

^^ likes calling friends/subordinates affectionate insults like "dumbass" as u can see w dazai and mackerel

sometimes he can get rly mean tho 😒

hit him w the "why are you so mean to me"/"dawg what did i do to you 🙁" and he'll instantly feel bad

enjoys banter and finds intelligence attractive

wears elevated shoes

i feel like the way he talks can come across as flirty to some people, so like hes not a womanizer hes just being nice in a cocky way so its like, "hey ya look nice in that, wear that more, yea?" so sometimes yall just be talking and ur like "what are we"

his music taste is either romantic jazz or rock.

cracks his knuckles a lot

also always has back pain from his horrid sleeping positions??

hes a messy and chaotic sleeper

likes taking pictures of the sunset

his social media account is surprisingly normal - he def posts the most on instagram

^^ his captions to his posts would be smth corny like "what a wonderful evening"

sings when hes drunk to you

knows how to moonwalk

teen chuuya hcs:

tried to be a streamer when he was 15

collects jordans

caresses his motorcycle randomly

told everyone he was gonna start collecting wine and noone believed him

prefers calling over texting

before koyo knocked some sense (and fashion) into him he gave frat boy energy

genuinely loves guitar (electric or acoustic)

WILL SERENADE YOU

music is like one of the only things that can calm him down

but not like just the calming music, yk how sometimes theres sm noise so you need to put really loud music to drown it out? thats him

[smuttysunny]

[ADA]Osamu Dazai NSFW Alphabet!

Genre: Smut

Synopsis: NSFW alphabet for our favourite bandaged suicidal maniac!

Contains: Overall GN reader, regardless of sex! Refrences to bdsm, public sex, pregnancy and breeding kinks, sex toys and more overall sexual stuff 😭🙏 there's way too much in here for me to list

Warnings: Not proofread‼️ English is also not my first language so there might be grammatical errors cuz despite me being fluent, i'm dumb asf!

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Ngl... May seem a bit ooc but I imagine him actually being really sweet after sex, that is if you two are like together and not just a hook up or something lol. He'd praise you and tell you did so good and def help you clean up and take a bath/shower afterwards. Maybe even order food if you two feel up for it.

I imagine he'd also be pretty cuddly, holding you tightly as he nuzzles his face in your shoulder. Moments like these where he shows his vulnerability to someone yk?

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

On himself, probably his eyes or hands. He just loves looking at you and watching all your adorable reactions! And with his hands he, of course, gets to touch you anywhere and everywhere!

On you, the fav is either your face or thighs. Your face of course because of how it can twist and contort in pleasure! Again, he loves your reactions very much. As for thighs, he just loves grabbing and holding them, thin or thick, doesn't matter to him! He loves caressing them, kissing them, licking, biting, leaving hickeys on them, you name it! He also ADORES how your legs try to close when giving you head! Squishing him to death between your thighs truly seems like a great way to go!

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

Cummin on you. This fucker definitely loves coating you in his cum. If you can get pregnant he'd definitely be against the idea of cumming in you if you're not using a condom, he is NOT ready for the responsibility of raising a kid, sorry breeding kink people.

But if you can't get pregnant then he's more than willing, he still prefers to see you coveres in his load tho, it's just hot to him, yk?

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I think he'd have a liking to purposefully walking in on you changing, just seems like the type of guy to ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Oh boy this man is def experienced from all the sleeping around he does 😭🙏 for all sexes too, not just afab ppl.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

Following on from the hc from earlier, any position where he can see your face will have him satisfied! Although I don't think he'd be particularly picky, just would prefer to see your face.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

I'd imagine him to be quite silly while not ruining the mood, unless he's absolutely tired and done and needs something to let his frustrations out, ofc, but even then after he starts relaxing he'd def go back to his usual teasing and cracking jokes here and there!

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He'd do the bare minimum grooming 💀🙏 listen, he's too occupied living to really care about his hair down there but ig in some way the carpets would match the drapes because no matter how unkept he has his hair, it still looks shampoo commercial worthy so probably same thing down there aswell. Would occasionally give himself a trim tho, not fully unkempt.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)

Depends on his mood and what it is. Quickie? Maybe less intimate as it's just meant to be a quick fuck but if it was proper sex at home he's def be on the more romantic side, unless again pouring his frustrations out on you, and even then, the way his eyes shine looking at you would still reveal the love he holds for you so <3

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)

This cunt has the sex drive of a teen boy so he'd def be jerking off often, maybe like at least 2 or 3 times per week? Although he can hold himself back pretty well. I can also imagine him absolutely obliterating No Nut November just because he thought it'd be funny.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Can of worms... Which we will be disecting and studying as if its our finals hitting!

For starters, def maintained some of the less healthy kinks he had from his PM days like sadomasochism and gunplay, but at least now it's more of an overall roleplay/bdsm kink with no actual danger. Speaking of which he would LOVE to get tied up or tie you up, same for choking but more on the receiving end. Both giving and receiving for edging and orgasm denial too. Probably also has a big thing for being dominated; he doesn't mind domming but he'd absolutely LOVE to be stepped on and get his brains fucked out!

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He's shameless but not entirely. As far as he'd go is semi-public places like an alley or his car. As for favourite place, peobably the ADA office LMFAO particularly when it's empty because there's a risk of getting caught!

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

As mentioned previously, this guy has the sex drive of a horny teen so even the smallest touch could accidentally set him off.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would NEVER hurt his partner on purpose. Even for his more extreme kinks he'd make sure you're okay with it first and foremost before anything. Also ik dacryphillia is a big thing in these kinds of fics but if you ever started properly crying he'd stop IMMEDIATELY.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

I think he'd prefer giving slightly more than receiving. He just loves being in between your legs, you know? And again, would love to get choked to death by your thighs <3

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends. If he's making love he'd 100% go slow and sensual, but if it's a quickie his pace would def be fast, a bit rough too but unintentionally! If he's fucking though... Walking privileges will 100% be lost from how rough he'd be lol

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He LOVES them. Legit cherishes them as if they're god's best gift to man, and to be honest to a man like him they sure are.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Seeing as how he'd be more than willing to fuck you in his car he'd def enjoy risks here and there, with consent of course(minus pregnancies goodness gracious, if you two are at it without a condom he'd immediately rush you to take your morning after pill afterwards). Again, he would never hurt his partner on purpose and if risks aren't your thing he'd be more than understanding

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

His stamina matches his horniness. If it were after him, he probably wouldn't stop till the sun rises so really it's up to his partner for how long sex will go lmfao

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Ohhh he'd love toys. Most likely owns a fleshlight for when you're not there to please him lolol

And don't feel left out! Because he'd love using toys on you too! Be it vibrators, dildos or something more obscure!

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

King of teasing™ will not miss a minute to joke about how desperate you are for him or any of the sort

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Loud but he does it on purpose just to add to his teasing. Also because he enjoys annoying the neighbors and if he'd doing it in a semi-public place, adds to the risk

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)

Loves getting pegged.

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

As a non dick haver I actually had to search a bit for this bit-

Uhhh maybe just a little above average idk??? Maybe like 6.2 inches or smth? I o ly rlly have a vague image of him not really being too thick but making up for it in lenght so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I'll just leave this one up to your guy's imaginations 💖

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Already mentioned it like 5 times but omd he gets so horny so often you might aswell assume he's a rabbit

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Although I hc him to have slight insomnia because of depression, probably after sex is one of the only times he can actually fall asleep rather quickly. Just snuggle up to him nice and warm and he's out like a light in approximately 3 minutes. And he def sleeps like a log too lmfaooo

[fyodorloveclub]

FLORA please . . . thinking abt dazai n fedya locked up together makes mi think of a threesome w them 🤭 how rough do u think they would be :O r they fighting over who gets to fuck ur pretty cunny ! ! giv mi all da deets teheheh :3

coco!! hmmmm ok i've been thinking a lot abt this hehehe sorry for how long it got 🤭

okey this could go so many different ways i could write an actual dissertation but. im going to come at this as if u are fyodor's lover hehehe

so. fedya is typically very gentle and sweet with his lover, esp in bed (unless you ask for otherwise) but... he hates dazai, and would rather die than let him have anything of his, especially u. so if u somehow stumbled into a threesome with them, it would be a lot djfjsjdj the way i see it happening is dazai purposely pushing all of fyodor's buttons abt how beautiful and sexy you are and how bad he wants you, probably taunts fyodor and says that he doesn't satisfy you ,,, and usually fedya can ignore dazai easily but when it comes to u and saying some shit like that he absolutely loses his SHIT and is like you're gonna watch and see how good i fuck her, how she falls apart over my cock

and he's very right!!! u do you def do. plus you've always thought dazai was kinda sexy so u agree to go along with their stupid game

so it starts out as just u and fedya while dazai watches, likely starting out w just missionary/ nearly mating press. he immediately jumps to what he knows makes you whine and moan the most, like fucking u right at the angle he knows feels the best, not too slow but not too fast, hips meeting flush with yours as he massages your clit and presses sweet kisses all over your face and lips. bc to him, this isn't just abt showing dazai how good the sex is, anyone can make sex feel good, he wants to rub it in his face too how much u just fucking love him and want him to be inside u not just cuz of how heavenly it feels, but bc u need to be that close to him. dazai fists his angry red cock, massaging himself to the sounds of your whimpers and cries and just how hot u look getting fucked.

when fyodor spills his cum inside you is when he decides its ok for dazai to take u next, smirking bc now he has to deal with the fact that he'll be fucking fyodor's cum right into you. u cant lie tho, dazai is really fucking talented. he's taking you from the back, ass high in the air as he shoves his desperate, needy, neglected cock so deep inside you it kisses your cervix and makes ur eyes roll back in your head. dazai is kinda losing it himself, absolutely mesmerized by the way ur cunt stretches and pulls with each thrust of his cock, the cream that's dripping down ur thighs and gathering onto his length. fyodor's the one watching now, irked that dazai's making you moan but is confident enough to know he could never be as good. he can't stay away for too long tho, sidles up next to u as dazai continues to fuck u as he sticks his hand in between ur thighs to rub your clit and suck on your nipples, and to say you were overstimulated was an understatement. your senses were so overloaded and on fire as they both had their way with you, but goddamn did it feel fucking amazing. it was the best orgasm you had had in a long time.

one of the hard and fast rules fyodor set was that dazai was by NO means allowed to cum inside u, and if he did it would result in very unsightly consequences. dazai doesn't rly listen to rules but he knew fyodor did not fuck around when it came to u. so he settles for flipping you over so he can cum all over ur tummy, using his fingertips to spread the seed all over you and squeeze your breasts. fyodor slaps his hands away. ur incredibly out of breath and fucked out at this point, a tiny bit of drool pooling at the edge of your mouth as you tried to catch ur breath, but things weren't over yet.

dazai wanted to know what ur mouth felt like, and weirdly, fyodor was ok with that. let him experience how good you suck dick and have to live knowing that fyodor is the only one who'll ever get to experience that. sat on fyodor's lap with your back to his chest now, his cock buried deep inside you as a reminder of who u rly belong to, dazai is sat on his knees next to you so you can suck him off. now he's the one whimpering and moaning as you take him into your mouth and skillfully use your lips and tongue to give him the best head of his life, and fyodor only smirks as he watches and feels u very slowly rising and falling on his own cock, subconsciously chasing the familiar feeling. and with a good massage of dazai's balls, he's cumming down your throat with a hearty groan -- he almost immediately gets hard again when he watches u swallow every single drop easily, licking ur lips afterwards with a smile.

in the end, fedya is right. dazai would forever be jealous that fyodor is the only one who ever got to have you. and that's how i think a threesome would go :)

[spacexseven]

Demon Chuuya and dazai as a pair is terrible but imagine fyodor and dazai,The worst combo,Dazai is still whiny af but fyodor is just lowkey scary,like he just follows you around unlike dazai who clings to you,he just kinda stares,doesn’t talk??😭 it’s super creepy,and he’s always trailing behind you wherever you go

And fyodor was def considering killing you when you first accidentally summoned him,Also they would like horribly clash because they literally hate eachother unlike Chuuya and dazai😧😧

actually, dazai's constant presence may be what ultimately brings fyodor to you.

he's just curious at first; whatever did you do to get a demon so insistent on being with you all the time? but seeing how embarrassing of a job dazai's doing at being a demon, fyodor decides to step in. it's a lot more fun seeing humans squirm and cry in fear, after all—and seeing dazai cling on to you and whine makes him feel disgusted.

it's more than terrifying having fyodor around; if you thought you might get a break from dazai, fyodor is just as bad in a different way. he doesn't cling onto your leg and beg you not to leave, but everywhere you look, you swear he's standing there, watching you with that cold look in his eyes. when you try to sleep, the only thing that frustrates you more than dazai smothering you is the constant flurry of nightmares you're receiving, all featuring a very eager-to-kill-you fyodor. there's no negotiating with him, either. dazai stopped being all evil with you when you promised to let him be as annoyingly clingy as he liked, but fyodor doesn't want that—he just wants to give you a fright. he doesn't reply when you talk to him, except to insult you, and doesn't let up until you're on the brink of exhaustion.

all of this, of course, makes dazai his enemy. how dare some other demon try and take his human away?! (a part of him rejoices—all the suffering you're undergoing will surely convince you that he's the best demon to have around, right?) but it also convinces him to start spending even more time around you, thinking it'll ward off fyodor.

it does not. what it does do is spite him, and consequently have him become more interested in you.

[glitch-karma]

hello! can i request the headcanons of bsd boys (ADA, port mafia, guild, DOA, and hunting dogs) playing genshin impact? i wanna know what is their fav characters/elemental/region hehehe~ thanks in advance!

I LOVED writing this one

Dazai

I can see him liking Pryo characters the most

Someone who plays for fighting and building, not for lore and quests

HIS TEAM IS SO CRACKED LIKE BRO GO OUTSIDE???

I can see him maining Klee/Diluc

Definitely, the type to brag all the time

Joins people's worlds to steal stuff then leave like an asshole

I can see his main team being Diluc, Xiao, Ganyu and Xingqiu

When playing with ANYONE he'll pull out Klee and burn the grass to annoy tf out of them

Kunikida

No.

Played it maybe once cause Dazai forced him

Did not understand the point in it

Ended up uninstalling it literally an hour later

Ranpo

Has been playing it even before Dazai

Has almost every character (and ALL of them are built)

Mains Heizou for Obvious reasons

Likes swirling electro the most

Likes to humble brag but in a mean way

"Yeah I mean, I only play it on occasion I guess I'm just good!"

He's lying

In reality, he spends way too much of his and Fukuzawas money

Definitely still not so patiently waiting for Dansleif to be playable

Atsushi

Dazai got him into the game

He plays it mostly for the story quests so his characters aren't very built

LOVES Anemo and Dendro

He was so excited when Baizhu was announced

He cried really hard when he did the Chasam quest

Mains Kazuha

He LOVES Collei so much

When he first started the game he was confused why Barbra wasn't doing any damage

Cyno reminds him of Akutagawa

Yosano

Got into it from random ads

Mains Beidou and Yelan

Has been pulling for Shenhe for so long but still doesn't have her

LOVES Inazuma

Fav vision is definitely Electro

She has played through all of Shonens quests

Poe

Ranpo forced him to play and he likes it

Ranpo helps him with domains and farming

Enjoys the lore and how it's written, specifically Khaenri'ah lore

Is also waiting for Dansleif to be playable

He's an Albedo main

Relates a lil too hard to Sucrose and Xingqiu

Chuuya

Played to try to surpass Dazai

He wants to out-damage Dazai so bad but..

Poor baby doesn't know how to build correctly.

like he gave a physical build to Yanfei

Chuuya LOVES Cryo

He definitely at one point was a Kaeya main

He freaked out the first time he did 2k damage

Joins Dazai's world and says "You suck" Then leaves

Akutagawa

Only plays it because Dazai plays it

Has tried to get good characters to earn Dazai's approval but he ALWAYS loses his 50/50's

Gets on calls with Dazai to try to show how good he is

"...Why did you put blizzard strayer on Diluc." "..."

Trys to get every character Dazai has

Honestly, he doesn't know what he's doing

Fyodor

Bought an acc from someone with insane stats

Bullys kids on the internet with it

Nikolai

He plays unironically (Unlike Fyodor)

Definitely does that ritual of throwing characters off cliffs before wishing

DEF a Hutao main

Has Fydor to actually play but always fails

That trend where you change the models of your characters? He's ALL about that

Changed Klee into a cursed model of a duck

Sigma

Mains Layla because he loves her

It's his comfort game after a long day at the casino

He plays for the lore and character design

Ango

He doesn't really have time for games

Jouno

Genshin, unfortunately, doesn't have accessible playing for him

I don't think he'd play either way but oh well

Tetchō

He saw a picture of Itto and Immediately installed it

Doesn't understand the cooking function

Is also confused about the look of the food

After meeting the Adepti he actually tried eating flowers

Jouno stopped him

Likes Xiao cause of the sticker of him eating snow

Tachihara

Thinks it's a stupid anime game

[prasiddhibirb]

Dazai, chuuya, fyodor and kunikida with a s/o that has severe social anxiety?😭 I just had the most embarrassing episode ever in public today and some comfort would be nice, thank you!!😞💕

Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor and Kunikida with a s/o that has severe social anxiety

author’s note(s): aww I’m so sorry that happened to you.. I hope you feel better. This was very interesting to write, thank you for requesting! Warning(s): dark in fyodor’s part (I’m so sorry I couldn’t imagine Fyodor comforting anymore)

-> Dazai

doesn’t really know how?????

he doesn’t really know how to relate to people so he’s not the best for comforting people

he’ll try and hug you more and reassure you when you are having doubts about yourself

when something embarrassing happens to you (according to what you find embarrassing), he’ll TRY to comfort you in the moment or drag you out of that social situation (only when he really needs to tho).

sometimes he steps in and talk for you when you are too embarrassed to

he regularly reassures you that everything is okay

tries his best to put you in more social settings for you to get used to it and try to get better at talking

until it worsens and he tries to get you in more quiet places where social interaction is kept to a minimal💀

He’s always ready to offer a hand for you to hold or a hug for when you are too stressed

will try and respect your boundaries in public but sometimes he can’t help but cling onto you

Def tries his best to not ‘embarrass’ you in public

There may be times where you just stand there awkwardly waiting for Dazai to stop talking to the person and your anxiety spikes istg-

you guys sometimes do night walks (if you are okay with being out at night with him)

in conclusion, Dazai isn’t the best when relating to others but, he’ll try for you.

-> Chuuya

will think you are being over dramatic at first

until her realizes that your social anxiety is so much worse than he thought

now he tries to get you out of as many social situations as possible

that means him being ‘overprotective’ in a way

I can see him giving more gifts to you after a stressful event, hoping to make you feel better in way

what’s good is that since Chuuya is a high ranking of the port mafia, you have lots of respect from the mafia members and they won’t try and mess with you (unless they have a death wish)

Night walks are also things that you guys do often

he tries to be present wherever you are since he is always worried about you

whenever you are stressed, he will try and comfort you (even if they don’t seem like comforts)

when you don’t know what to say, he’ll come to your rescue and talk for you

doesn’t quite relate to your social anxiety but he’ll try to talk in a softer tone with you and try to not get as mad as he usually does

-> Fyodor

Literally the first thing he noticed about you

You actually don’t get to outside very much (as you are Fyodor’s lover and you probably already know about his job anyways) nor did you really enjoy going outside anyways

He enjoys toying with your social anxiety

He’ll ignore you on purpose and be cold to you to toy with your anxiety

It’s all for entertainment, right?

perhaps,,

but now that you are his s/o, his toy, there’s no escape.

He thinks about how fragile and easy to break you are,,

about how cute and adorable you are as you lose your mind with him

while on the other hand you relish the times where you guys have a soft moment together

Maybe if you are into music, he’ll play his cello for you when he has time

so I can envision him having this thing where he gets to toy with you but if someone else tries to toy with you, they will regret it forever

whenever you try and tell him something but then stop because you find it too awkward, he’ll raise an eyebrow and order you to say it (chills run down your spine istg-)

He is the definition of “I can help this person right now but I consciously choose to only help them after they’ve suffered” when it comes to him helping you

so he basically steps in when you are on peak anxiety and stress

did I mention he will make you completely dependent on him? He def enjoys you struggling to say what you want because of your anxiety

I can imagine that he regularly reads online about social anxiety because of you

will tell you everything is alright when you are stressed

might even pull you into a hug (this is only in private tho)

words of affirmation is fairly common between you guys as he quite literally not relate to you, so he just tells you to not worry about it or smth like that

I am so sorry I cannot envision Fyodor ever really (?) comforting someone

-> Kunikida

omg (probably) the best person to end up with for your social anxiety

actually understands your social anxiety and tries to help to his best

he has definitely had dealt with people with social anxiety sooo he knows what to do

100% made a routine and list to help you

Forces you to go to sleep at very specific time, already planned out an entire diet for you and, little by little exposes you to social interactions to help you get used to people

I can imagine him just giving out a small list of tasks for you to complete throughout the week (like ex. : compliment someone or call up a friend and make plans with them to hangout, etc..)

will most likely give you medication(s) for you (only if you can’t bear it anymore) to take until further improvements show

He will most likely never step in as in his eyes, every situation is an opportunity to learn.

only steps in when he sees you really uncomfortable or on the verge of tears / in a really bad state

reassures you and supports you in your abilities

most stable person to be with 👍

[bungoustraypups]

i just checked ur dnf criteria on ur carrd and i think what you said about mori is definitely interesting! im interested in why exactly he's your favourite character, if you're okay with telling me? /gen (i personally don't like mori because yosano is one of my absolute favourite characters and i cant forgive him for what he put her through, but i swear i dont hate people who like him. im actually very interested, and i would like to expand my view of mori)

also do u ship ranpoe?

ok so first of all: kudos to you for having a reason to dislike mori that is both personal and also correct. he did terrible things to yosano and that is canon! i'm also very glad that you're open to listening since a lot of ppl in this fandom aren't (the number of times i've been accused of being a child predator for liking mori is at least 5! this is solely from twitter tho not tumblr)

also yes i do ship ranpoe. just getting that outta the way before the mori moment begins

SO

mori is my favorite character mostly for reasons unknown to me. i just love him a lot. my first bsd fanfic i posted, which is also the first one i finished in march of this year, is a fukumori mainly mori-centric fic about the two of them having a baby, and over the course of writing that i fell deeply in love with his character, both the way i wrote him and how he is in canon.

he's so very clearly (in my eyes and the eyes of other mori enjoyers) traumatized it's almost painful. combining how he is solely in canon with the experiences of the MCs of vita sexualis and the dancing girl (i have not yet read these novels but my good friend geeg has talked abt it extensively) opens up a whole new dimension to this too.

in fact, as i've stated multiple times before: of the main BSD cast, the two who i think most likely have CSA trauma (there could def be others but this is just from what i know) are probably dazai and mori (notably, separate experiences divorced from each other, meaning i 100% do not believe mori SA'd dazai or anyone else for that matter given there's no canonical evidence to support this)

he's hot. and i like characters i think are hot (and ones i think aren't but yknow this gives him more points)

he's mysterious and we know very little about him

he's so fucking tragic as a character. a man canonically full of regrets, who never considers his own feelings but uses himself for the greater good of his city and his country, who is constantly forced to swallow his true feelings because he has to appear as a strong leader all the time and can only hope to express himself even a little bit when he's alone with his own ability? the agony and hells are real

like there's so much, this is just a few reasons why i like him bc i can't think of all of them off the top of my head but i'm happy to talk about him whenever

[godshitgirl]

DILF SKK IM SORRY

Also headcanons bc I'm so normal about them

Dazai

Janky old broke hobo spiderman energy

When I say broke I mean BROKE

Will swindle his way into getting money

Absolute SLUT will sleep with someone just to have a place to stay the night

Not exactly homeless, he's more like a roach. Just kinda scatters anywhere and stays somewhere he finds comfortable even if he's not welcome (cough cough chuuyas apartment)

Giving frank Gallagher energy but if he actually tried to be a good dad (source: shameless)

Oh did I mention he's a dad

YESSSIRR HES GOT A DAUGHTER BC GIRL DAD DAZAI CANON

His daughter is actually kinda embarrassed of him

She's def the one who worries about him the most

Lives with her mom, who is one of dazais old one night stands (IT SHOULDVE BEEN ME FR)

Her mom couldn't give two shits about this man even if she tried

His daughter doesn't want to be anything like him

She inherited his intelligence tho, just not his irresponsibility

Dazai doesn't live with them, he and the mother aren't dating but they're not friends either, she just kinda accepted that he's this cockroach in her life and her daughter is a nice piece of leftover trash he can't get enough of

Don't get me wrong, dazai LOVES his little girl

Absolutely adores her

She's usually just annoyed by him

He finds it cute when she yells at him cause it reminds him of when she would throw tantrums as a toddler

But she does genuinely love her dad more than anything

It's just hard for her to show it

She's not particularly close with her mom either since she's kind of a cruel and bitter woman

Still not over how dazai treated her

He's not perfect, but he tries

Chuuya

This man is like the complete opposite of dazai

He's a single father who wouldn't leave his daughter alone for a second

Unlike dazai chuuya fell genuinely in love with a woman but she died during childbirth

At first he was angry that his wife was taken away but one look at this little girl in his arms and all the pain and anger washed away

He promised her he would give her the world no matter what

He's absolutely the best father you could ever ask for

His daughters spoiled spoiled SPOILED

Nothing but the best for his little girl🥺

And unlike dazai bro is LOADED so yeah she pretty much gets anything she wants with a snap of her fingers

But she's not a brat tho (at least, not when she's older)

She takes after chuuya in her need to be useful and independent

She's actually way more calm than he is, but she does have a little of his demeanor

Anyway enough abt her since I'm very early into the development of this au and Idk much about how I want the kids to be yet

Chuuya does bulk up as years go by cause ain't no way this child having a TWINK for a father🙄

He does also get a teensy bit taller bc I wanna throw this dog a bone, man

"I'm still growing" You know what?? Yeah you are buddy keep believing in urself😊

Still in the mafia, but since having a kid he's withdrawn a lot more from this life

He's not the type to try to get a higher position for his kid since he knows that the more involved he is with the Port Mafia, the more danger he and his family is in

Only a few in the Port Mafia actually know he's got a kid

For a while they tried to keep it a secret from mori not knowing what he'd do

Also do not leave his young daughter alone with this man

WEVE SEEN YOSANOS BACKSTORY GOODBYE

Chuuya is a lot less violent than he was in his 20s

Having a kid really softened him up

Now when he's on a mission, he doesn't kill anyone unless he was ordered to

He can see the fear in his enemy's eyes and all he can think of are their kids and what would happen to them

So unless he absolutely has to, he won't kill anyone

His job is also a secret from his daughter

He doesn't want her involved in any way whatsoever

He wants her to find her own path, to be her own person, and most of all, to be safe and happy

Wasn't gonna do this part but

SOUKOKU

Dazai and chuuya do get back together in this au

After the unofficial breakup they did have a couple nights together but after a while they drifted apart, chuuya finding a wife and family, and dazai slowly spiraling deeper and deeper into his own mess

Their lives are intertwined again upon an incident where their kids are in danger

That's when they pull a spy x family and secretly defeat the enemy without their daughters knowing about it

It was supposed to be a one time thing, after this they're back to their normal lives

But unfortunately their girls became quite good friends, so they had to keep seeing each other

They went from hanging out with their kids in a daddy-daughter tea party to absolutely destroying each other in the bedroom

Ok that's all I genuinely wanna develop this au so ask me anything! I'd love to answer ur questions!!!

[c-h-e-r-r-i-e-s]

How my men do Valentine’s Day

Choso- has baked home made sweets and definitely has been planning for a good week because he wants to be there for you in every way

Nanami - made a reservation at his and your fave restaurant like a month ago. He’s also got champagne at the house for later but didn’t go overboard. Had roses delivered to your work though. He’s busy and needed some help

Gojo - most likely threw something together last minute.. definitely paid a grand for the last minute flowers and delivery person. The card that came with them def just says I love you 💕

Geto - he probably did something like but you new lingerie but didn’t wrap it. And probably a heart felt card.

Levi - thinks this is a scam for companies to make more money (he’s not wrong) but he still got a card or something small. Did plan a dinner though because he’s sentimental.

Eren - this man literally bought the last bouquet at the grocery store. I see him probably getting diamond earrings or something though. He’s been sitting on a good time to give them to you.

Tengen - he has a whole day planned out for you and his wives. You all planned something for him too. He’s the picnic type so maybe a little adventure date? Probably got a bunch of different flowers and put them through the whole house. Will be rocking your world (all four of you) tonight.

Sanemi - I think he’s super sentimental when he gets a partner. He’s lost everything so he goes all out. Your favorite flowers, chocolates, dinner at the house cooked by him, an insane time in the bedroom. He’s gotten you new shoes too, the ones you were eyeing online a few weeks ago.

Dazai - has forgotten but when he remembers expect a heart felt letter.

Chuuya - He’s a roses guy, not because they’re your favorite but because they symbolize true love. He’s probably similar to Nanami and booked a restaurant date bc let’s face it he is a busy guy.

Giyu - he’s written out a whole admission to you about how he would’ve never been this happy in life without you. He’s probably not gone overboard with gifts or flowers but will make sure to cook your favorite meal, even if it’s incredibly difficult, he’s looking up recipes 2 weeks ahead of time.

Aizawa - seems like a card and chocolate type of guy. Nothing too sentimental but he’s planned a movie date and picked up your favorite take out. Is very comfortable in the relationship (I think it would take him so long to get into one that he falls into comfy living immediately)

Dabi - literally doesn’t care until he sees how sad you are and that you actually care about this stuff. Once you explain that it’s nice feeling appreciated he not only appreciates your body this year but makes an effort in years to come.

Toji - he’s a flowers only guy. He’s also rocking your world for sure but it’s probably going to be the patient kind of love. Also he def got a lil present for each of the kids.

[sqquidzz]

How would the Armed Detective Agency react to you complimenting them? Pt. 1

Includes: Atsushi, Ranpo, Kyouka, Kenji

A/N: Hello readers! I kinda made up this hc topic because I was dying to write but I didn't know what I should write about. So I hope you enjoy!

ATSUSHI:

Atsushi gets flustered easily at praise, always blushing with embarrassment and hiding his face

You find it cute how easy it is to make his face flush with red

Usually you praise him after he does a good job at work, on missions or even with paperwork

You especially love it when he beams as bright as the sun, saying thank you with such excitement that your heart melts

It feels like your job to protect Atsushi's innocence, even though he had been through so much, you wanted to make him smile as much as you could

Whenever you praise him, you also ruffle his choppy hair, just to see his cute pout as he whined about his messed up hair

Atsushi just makes you smile no matter what, he is a cinnamon roll 🩷

RANPO:

Whenever Ranpo recieves praise, he always takes the chance to boast about how he is the best detective in the world

When you praise him, you also offer him some candy, and Ranpo still can't figure out how you have candy on you 24/7

Usually, you praise him on doing well on cases, especially ones where Ranpo doesn't whine about how stupid the other people are

Ranpo also likes to make a competition out of it, especially with Yosano, on who got more praises from you

Your praise also cheers him up and makes him feel better about himself anytime he feels that he's not at his best or if there is a stressful crisis

You love to praise Ranpo just to see his face light up even more as he jumps up to tell everyone that he was praised by you

This guy def has a praise kink tbh

KYOUKA:

Kyouka was devoid of affection for most of her childhood, so her showing emotion is pretty rare

But whenever you praise her, you can see her face flush and she'll give you those wide puppy eyes that make your heart melt

You usually praise her for missions done well, but you also praise her for actually taking time to socialize even though she's very shy and has trust issues

You also like to pat her head when you praise her, making her flush even more and whisper to you to stop patting her head because she's so embarrased

After she gets over her embarrasment though, she gives you the sweetest smile and whispers out a thank you

You think Kyouka deserves all the love and care she can get from everyone she considers close to her

Idk how this gurl is so CUTE

KENJI:

Now Kenji is just a ball of sunshine really (I am ignoring that part in the manga if you manga readers know what I mean)

You love praising him just to see his face light up and how his energy bursts through the roof

It seems magical whenever Kenji is happy, and to make him as happy as he can be, you praise him on anything, whether it might be completing a mission or just giving you coffee just the way you like it

Sometime the other (aka Ranpo/Atsushi/Dazai) get jealous of how much you praise him

Just like Atsushi, you love to ruffle his hair and tell him how well he did on his mission or assignment

Kenji just laughs sweetly whenever you mess up his hair, making you let you a soft aww at how cute he is

I feel like Kenji is underrated, I love this kid sm ♥

[ma3mae]

No one likes syringes!

Summary : You gotta take your weekly syringe but you're afraid of needles so how can these mfs (Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi, Aku, Chuuya) convince you to take it 🤷

Genre : bit cracky and fluff, prob lots of teasing bc u know who tf im talking about 💀

Warnings : heartattacks bc we all simp too hard for these men 🛐 maybe a bit of suggestive themes at the end

A/N : managed to inject myself for the first time (aint no drugs, need them bc HEALTH) and bro, my hands r still shaky bc fear 😭 how do ppl do this so easily 💀 also the syringe is like a pen (also for this story) but broo its still scary and i need some bsd character comforting me 😩✋✋

Dazai Osamu

Lets say yall live together and hes at work while u r home alone

cant bring yourself to do it alone bc bro syringes are scary (even if its just a pen bc NEEDLES BRO) 😩😭

So you text him and ask what hes doing and tell him if hes got time to come home asap bc we r nearly crying at this point

hes gonna be SO ANNOYING like "i was just waiting for a text from you~ dont worry, your knight in shining armor will save you"

BROO he prob knew that you gotta take them today and also knew that nothing would be going on at the agency so he couldve stayed at home but nah 😭😭 (sadistic a** fr fr)

but hes still hurrying nonetheless bc hes not that MEAN -right???-

arrives at home and finds you on the couch holding the pen with shaky hands and his heart does feel a TAD bit guilty bc fr he couldve stayed at home and u would have gotten this shit over asap

gon be all like "dw im here now, okay? Lets just get this over with and then we'll cuddle, how about that?"

homegirl is about to cry at this point bc just FREE HER from this misery

sits next down to you and takes the pen from your hands

If you do wanna try it out yourself, he'll gently guide you through it

He knows how afraid you are and teasing would just make you sob instantly bc the pressure is already too much to deal with YEAH U BETTER STFU U TEASE !! jk still love him

will try to change your mind tho by sayinf stuff like "Really? ~ i mean its brave and good of you to try it yourself but I really love helping you, you know. Want to do everything for you, darling." he knows EXACTLY what hes doing to us by saying that

Is prob gonna give us that look and whisper in our ear and shi im sorry im too down bad for this man at this point 😩

if you dont wanna do it yourself then, he'll tell you to look at him while hes pressing the pen onto your thigh or stomach

You still cant keep your eyes off of it? Sry girl, theres only one solution

He'll just click his tounge at you while having that fking smirk on his face as he says "still too distracted, I see? Well seems like theres only one way to help you"

gives you a kiss on the lips and just deepens it while looking STRAIGHT into your eyes got my knees weak for him fr

you only feel a tiny sting and as soon as a "click" is heard, he'll break the kiss and just grins at you as if he didnt trick you lol

but who are you to complain, he sees that you liked it and will def comment on that

"see, love? Wasn't so hard after all. But you still did well. Proud of you as always"

pecks you on the lips again before setting the pen onto the table and wraps his arms around your waist bc NO WAY in hell is he gonna let go after that

"i think i deserve a reward for that~" "you said you were waiting for a text so you KNEW i had to do it today, right?" ".... welp, not gonna apologize on that 🤷🤷🤷"

u can understand why kunikida has to SIGH all the time as soon as dazai opens his mouth but oh well, you're too whipped to care about at this point

wont let you go so guess you'll have to reward him 💅 no ones complaining LOL

if you tell him to help you next time before hes gone for work, he'll def do it bc he loves u but poor kunikida gotta expect him arrive at work late more often bc he wont leave home without rewards 🛐

Kunikida Doppo

You already know that he got the exact day, hour, minute and SECOND written down on when you gotta take your pen

You tell him that the day is enough and that the time doesnt matter but NOO 😤 YOU WILL take it at the exact time

If its at ungodly hours like 3am or smth, bro he'll wake you up like no mercy for his schedule 😭

If u complain to him tho then dw he will rearrange it for u bc he may love to stick to his plans but he wont ignore your needs and stuff either get urself a man who takes care of u like that 😤😤

will prefer to do it before work, so if you're not an early bird then he'll wake u up but dw you'll get a forehead kiss and bro's already fully dressed n' stuff BUT waking up to him looking at you with such a loving gaze will make u forget that its 5-6am or smth 😩

will first let you get up in peace and make u some calming tea bc he knows what will come next ✋

"Y/N, I know you don't like it but you have to take your pen today, okay?"

if we start a tanthrum then he already knows about it like bro's prepared for everything!!

"Kuni, do we really ha-" "Yes." "But you know I dont li-" "Yes and yes. I know you hate it but don't worry, I've already written everything down on how to do it and what to be aware of so its okay to feel afraid but don't worry because I'm here. Nothing will happen and I've already bought your favorite snacks so you'll feel better but dont eat too much of it when I'm gone. "

u already know he spent a night or smth just researching everything about it as soon as you told him

prob even went to a library and once came back home with multiple books in his hands, hes THAT dedicated UGH I LOVE HIM 💕

you could just sob rn bc how did the earth bless you with this man KUNIKIDA I NEED U 😭😭😭

If the pen is kept in a fridge then dw he already put that shit out for it to not be cold anymore (prob counted the minutes and seconds LOL)

he'll sit you down on the bed or couch, disinfect the place on where you'll take it (lol that sounds WRONG) and he'll give you a peck on your forehead before asking if you're alright and ready to go through with it bc no way in hell is he gonna do it while you're too shaken up for it

If you wanna try to do it alone then he'll take your hand into his as you're grabbing the pen, slowly guiding it while praising you for how brave you are for trying this and that hes proud of you IM SOBBING

will also tell you to look at him if you get more afraid by seeing it on your skin

Honestly even if you dont wanna do it yourself, he'll make sure to be there and will praise you every time you get through with it bc you KNOW he means it

Honestly makes you tear up everytime and u just wanna kiss this man fr

you thank him and tell him how glad you are to have him, he'll be smitten even more than he already is

Cup his face with your hands and kiss him bro's gonna find it really difficult to not stay at home and just be in your arms

at the end of the day, his love for you exceeds his ideals so he wouldnt mind arriving at work some minutes later if he gets to have you in his arms for a bit longer

Will arrive at work with such a good mood that hes prob gonna freak dazai out with it especially when he overlooks some dumb remarks from him the power of love YALL but who can blame him, his heart is thumping louder than dazai's rambling LOL

maybe yall will continue when hes back home, who knows 🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐

Nakajima Atsushi

when you told him about the pen for the first time, he was literally thrown off like "wait, so you have to.... stab yourself regularly with that?????"

hes just SO precious bc his heart's squeezing at you asking him if he could help u bc you just feel so comfortable and just knowing that makes him SWOON

But at the same time hes panicking bc HOW CAN HE DO THAT WITHOUT HURTING U

Ngl hes prob also afraid of needles and stuff 😭 is gonna look at u like the pic above LOL

will ask yosano or even recommend that she should do it but you're like "NO!! im sorry, tsushi but im too scared of her and i feel safe with u :(((("

you got him WHIPPED and DEDICATED bc he'll def research that shit through and through

Will ask his coworkers (prob kunikida) how to best handle the situation

has everything ready but will stumble and be kinda hastily about it at first bc hes prob even more nervous than you are 💀

either it implifies your fear more or its just so ridiculous that you're legit like "ily but im not gonna die or smth 🤨🤨🤨" you cant blame him tho 😤

hes gonna be all like "OKAY OKAY, we got this. No, I GOT this s-so no worries, okay?" bro, BREATHE. Hes just about to pass out at this point jk jk

if you decide to try it out alone, he'll be a bit saddened bc does this mean you dont want him to help you after all?? :(( was he not good enough of a choice to be of help :((( TSUSHI STFU ILY

dw just reassure him that you obviously appreciate his help and still need him to be there bc no way in hell can u do it alone without ur hubby

will tell you everything he had learned about the pen and how to use it with a bit of a tremble in his voice but he pulls through with it!!

You manage to do it and BOY get ready for a rant on how proud of you he is

will want to pamper you with kisses on ur face "tsushi, i know that look. Go ahead and do it, dont hold back" "really, y/n!!?" "😩 bro do it ok" will try to hold back with gluing himself onto you but how can he NOT

If u dont wanna do it urself then it will prob go like this:

its time for yk what and he sees the genuine fear in your eyes but dw he got you

hes prob gon be like "my s/o need me rn and i have to help them!!!" hes actually gonna remember everythinf he looked up and prob memorized for you bc hes AN ANGEL will put his forehead against yours and tell you to look at him "i wont let anything hurt you and happen to you. You're afraid and honestly im afraid too but you and i will get through this, okay?" gives you the most lovestruck smile ever before he looks down and counts to three

"breathe in, y/n. It will be okay" he ignores his slightly trembling hands and at the count of three inserts it. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER📸📸📸

as soon as yall hear a click, he quietly counts to three before pulling it out and BROO the relief is refreshing af

"WE DID IT, Y/N!!!" Is hella giddy bc how can he not be proud of the both of you!!!! You did it!!! will honestly pull you in a hug bc hes just so happy

prob gonna realise that he just did it without asking u and will be sheepish all like "o-oh sorry, i just got too excited" "no tsushi. We should be happy about this so dont let go!!" no need to say it twice bc hes gonna wrap his arms even tighter around you and nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck ILL GIVE U A KISS TSUSHI 🛐🛐

will he feel bad for arriving at work a bit later? Maybe but a scolding from kunikida wont hold him back from holding you for a tad bit longer

He'll be a bit less nervous for the next times and it will surely decrease with each time bc practice yk but will obviously still hold you until he made sure that you're feeling okay afterwards

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

Bro's nearly flabbergasted bc why are you making such a FUSS 🤨🤨 im sry dont sue me

"Calm down, you idiot. It's only a pen. You dont even SEE the needle."

dont ask him why hes staying with you if its JUST a needle then bc bro will prob just straight up get up and leave if you point it out 💀

will prob be the first to not even suggest but just TELL you to do it yourself aku im hurting over here 😩

will prob make an effort in atleast roughly skimming through a website about it prob smth weird like wikihow LMAO

If he does see you how afraid you really are of it, hes rly trying his best to ignore the small ache its giving his heart bc he takes no pleasure in witnessing u be so afraid✋ its still JUST a pen in his eyes at the end of the day lol

will just sigh and snatch that shit from your hands bc he cant bear to see you like this any longer are we looking that pitiful, probably LOL

But he'll be surprisingly soft with his touch, nearly just ghosting you with his hands is that even a term, nvm yall know what i mean

Hes just gonna be straightforward with it bc the faster its over the better. He wont admit that he just wants to help but cant convey it bc what even are feelings 🤷

He'll tilt your chin towards him and just say "Look at me, Y/N. Stop overthinking it. You won't get hurt from this stupid thing, okay? If smth does happen, I'll just destroy the factory thats making this."

You dont know if hes joking to lighten the mood or if hes serious bc its aku

But hes prob joking

anyway hes gonna ask you like smth rly random like "What do you wanna eat later" which will confuse you but you'll answer nonetheless bc hey hes initiating a convo!!

as you start to talk and he notices you're relaxed enough for him, welp yk whats happening

Actually makes you wince a bit bc it just caught you off guard

"Ryuu, what the f-?!" "Just bear with it." ok we have been silenced 🛐

yall hear the click of relief, he counts in his mind to three and quickly pulls that shit out

you're slightly trembling from relief from finally getting it over you and bro just clicks his tounge like "You're such a fool. Cant believe something insignificant like that makes you nearly shit your pants."

you lowkey glare at him for that bc BRO needles r spooky 😭 but dw before you even open your mouth to tell him off, he'll look to the side and say "... You did good for holding that out though... but its still stupid."

just give him a peck on the cheek or smth bc this boy is prob craving some praise after having helped you like that

"Thank you, Ryuu. I couldnt have done this without you. You're the best boyfriend I could ever ask for"

Give him a tight hug, kiss and boom you got him around your finger

he'll take a second to wrap his arms around you and will just hide his face in the crook of ur neck like our other boy tsushi

"Of course, I'd help... I'll still blow up the factory for scaring you like that."

"NO!!" jk he wont if u tell him not to but hes just trying to say he doesnt like seeing u like that we know aku, dw 💕💕

if his coworkers ask why hes arriving a bit later at work, he'll just tell them to shut up and continue with their work

If you look closely you'll see his ears turn a bit pink as he keeps thinking of you and your words 💕💕😭

Nakahara Chuuya

Honestly its gonna be a mix of every reaction possible I think

Like if you tell him about the pen, hes first gonna feel a bit pressured like "O-Oh wait so you want ME to help with it??"

Like no offense hes obviously feeling pretty happy about that you are asking him for help especially for smth important as your health

But he knows hes not the most gentle person and does have his worries that he might accidentally hurt you or smth

wont ask anyone for advice bc its his love of his life can i be that pls that asked HIM so he'll do it at the end of the day!!

but if hes feeling rly unsure then he wont mind slipping a question about it when hes reporting to mori

which means being not subtle at all

"So was that all for today's report of the mission." "Yeah." "Then do you need something or why are you still standing there?" ".... *pulls out a picture of your pen* do you know how to use this?..."

you def know that chuuya's feeling so embarassed that hes asking his BOSS but its a sacrifice hes willing to pay

mori will have mercy on him and tell him what he should be careful of and summarise on how to use it

Will prob throw in a "good luck~" bc how can u not TEASE him

anyway our boy's done his research and now comes the hard part

"Okay, dont panic Y/N." "HOW CAN I NOT WHEN YOU'RE HOLDING IT LIKE YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME" "JUST DONT PANIC, FFS"

dw as soon as he sees you trembling, he'll be softer than a marshmallow

a chuuya one

"Oi, look at me. I'll make sure nothing's gonna happen to you, alright? Will just sting a bit and thats it. Will take care of you after this so you'll forget this ever happened."

HOW CAN U NOT SWOON AT HIM 😩😩

he'll even take off his gloves so you'll be more relaxed if you can feel his skin bro the gloves are giving off doctor vibes in this scenario, will make us panic more LOL

if you really cant keep your eyes off it then well....

"Damn it, love. Stop looking at it." will just press his lips onto you for a second before breaking it and inserting that shi*

"Ch-Chuuya!" "I know, i know. Dont worry, its gonna be over real soon."

And boom thr click is heard and yall are finally done

Honestly his shoulders are gonna relax instantly, boy was tensed up even more than you skskskks but who can blame him

"OMG chuuya we did it!!" "Yeah, you did it, doll." bro's gonna latch onto you again bc that kiss from earlier wasnt enough for the both of u 😩

is it riling yall up? Probably but welp you 're already either shirtless or pantless so only one clothing to pull off less work for yall

Mori's just gonna be like "I see, you managed to get through it" and chuuya just tiltd his fedora down so u cant see his face bc he REALLY wants to ignore that his boss knows whats been holding our boy up cant blame him 🤷🤷🤷

***************

Lol that was WAY too long but honestly this was so good to write 😩 now im just gonna be sad that none of them r here to do it irl but oh welp, will just read more stuff about them ✋💅

[daz4i]

yknow what i have nothing to do and need to distract myself from *gestures vaguely* and i mentioned it a few times in the last few days so i may as well talk abt that one theory i like

first of all let me say. it's not my own original theory lol i can't remember where i saw it first but it's p common so it'd be a bit hard to trace who was the first to bring it up

second. i know it contradicts some themes or at least some messages bsd is going for. which is why i don't think it's too likely (on the other hand some elements in the story can def allow a plot point of that sort to happen without being contradictory asdfhg matter of perspective ig)

ANYWAY the actual theory:

dazai knows he's in a story and aware that he is a character

backup for that theory:

honestly not much. a minor fourth wall break for laughs (the "wow~" scene. you know the one) isn't really proof, but if it was true it'd add some depth to that scene i think!

the main thing i think is cool abt this theory is how it recontextualizes a lot of things about him;

the thing that made me think abt making this post is that collection of dazai saying "you can't kill me" at various points of the story. most of them have context for each scene (atsushi can't kill him bc nlh will nullify the tiger, fyodor can't kill him bc he has the power of friendship, etc), but the fact the same line repeats multiple times makes it stand out to me

so consider this: dazai is confident that he won't die because he knows he can't die before the story is over, bc that's what the narrative decided. that's why none of his suicide attempts ever work (tho you already know my opinion on why that is, in the context of the story itself). he keeps trying tho bc man. it's tiring to be aware

that being said! well. we know he's been suicidal from a very young age. he sees no meaning in the act of living. and, being a character in a story, knowing that your life is all fake, can certainly make one's life feel meaningless, huh.

and ofc, alienation from those around him, since he seems to be the only one aware of the story. he is quite literally separate from the human experience bc of this

also some more angst :) i do firmly believe dazai feels a lot of guilt, more for meta reasons than him really showing it. guilt is a very big repeating element in no longer human and its protag yozo, whom i think dazai is obviously very inspired by. soooooo now consider this :) guilt over odasaku's death. in the context of the story, there is no reason for him to feel that, more or less. maybe nothing beyond "if only i called ango out earlier" "if only i got there in time and got him help", he didn't actually cause oda's death, not more than mori did for example, and he did the best he could too.

buuuuuuut what if he's a character in a story. he doesn't know if the story is about him yet, but given how other people around him don't seem to notice they're characters, it must be, right? the narrative depends on him. and, in that narrative, odasaku ends up dying. if he didn't exist, odasaku could live (really interesting to think abt that in the context of beast, too)

actually since i brought it up. beastzai definitely seems to know he's a character. he knows his existence doesn't mean much, i mean his whole universe is just an offshoot of the main one, literally an au of canon. that's even more meaninglessness on top of canonzai's meaninglessness, and he experienced both of them at once. no wonder he ended up killing himself damn 😩 (sorry this is a joke. ik he killed himself for some noble reason. but also i bet this made it easier)

an awareness of this level can explain some things like how dazai knows things are gonna play out in certain ways - he knows he's in a story, so he knows the narrative has to end in some satisfying way. the main characters have to win, so the doa have to lose. fyodor can't kill him. and we're back to the start

problem with this theory:

that thing i mentioned abt themes and messages in bsd. a lot of the story seems to tell us dazai is HUMAN. having him aware of everything on a meta level, imo, may cheapen that message, bc that quite literally makes him More than others in the universe.

then again the story (and asagiri in interviews lol) also seems to show again and again that he is exceptional and knows best so eh. like i said, matter of perspective

how i think it might work:

no longer human lmao

yknow how it was said The Book was created by an ability (and that's probably why it caused a singularity when beastzai touched it). well. what if the whole narrative we're following, in a way, in the universe of bsd, can count as an ability too. like a combination of The Book and poe's ability, kinda. (i've seen some theories in the past abt how asagiri is gonna be the final boss of bsd lol and that he would indeed have an ability that's just. *gestures at everything* this)

sooooo while nlh can't take him out of the story physically, it nullifies his ignorance to the situation. in a way, he's out of the story because he sort of watches it from an angle others can't

ok i officially ran out of brain power. i might add more in a reblog at some other point but for now these are the only thoughts i have. if you subscribe to that theory as well, or even just thing it's cool, i would love to hear some of your ideas - what other parts of dazai and his story do you think this changes? what does it mean about his relationships with other characters? please share if you have any thoughts on the matter!!! :)