#the way its usually adapted into a southern accent in english

[spatio-rift]

i love translation workkkkk i love seeing how translators adapt the text to another language. they decided to make hayakawa rhyme everything he says in french instead of showing he has trouble pronouncing r sounds. do i think its good. not necessarily but it certainly is an interesting way to show he has a very particular way of speaking (that others comment on often)

[admirableadmiranda]

Hi! I have an perhaps silly question!

I am currently reading volume 4 & 5 of the official translation. Up till now, I didn't have that many problems with it (mostly because it's been years since I read the fan one and since I don't speak Chinese and English isn't my first language the only thing I noticed at first was that it... read ? Better if that makes sense? It was easier at least.

But I have. Concerns. Does Wei Wuxian truly say fuck (or whatever equivalent there is in swear words) all the time? Because I noticed it in vol 4 and now I keep seeing it! I know he's supposed to be pretty informal, but that + the way he speaks sometimes ("I know I've got a bad rep" ??? "What are you doing on my turf"???) keep taking me out of the story xD idk if it's because I took a break in my rereading and got used to fics modifying his speech patterns... but given that when I'm writing mdzs fics I usually make sure to... idk adapt the speech patterns so they're not too modern sounding? Am I overthinking this? Should I let wwx say fuck all the time?? XD

Hope this doesn't bother you and thank you in advance for your answer!!

Hi! Hello again! How’s it going?

So full disclosure I have not read the official translation in full yet, but uhh… yeah I’ve seen more than enough of Suika’s prose to know that there’s something off about the way she translates WWX that just eliminates an important element of his character.

For what you’re saying between ExR and Suika’s translations with Suika being easier to read, I get that. ExR has a lot of trouble with tenses and plenty of times they use a word that’s not quite what they actually want it to mean, so it takes more work to read what they intend to say over what the text says, but Suika’s text only really is improved by being cleaned up, @kimalysong and @jiangwanyinscatmom have a lot of posts on text either vastly altered from the intent or lines just flat out missing, if you’re curious about going down the rabbit hole of the official translation.

Now WWX does swear on occasion, especially when he’s younger and using the rougher Yunmeng dialect, but the other lines you’ve quoted tend to have Suika’s usual problem of making lower class characters speak roughly and often with southern accents regardless of how they sound in Chinese or with consideration to the character at hand. Wei Wuxian has an incredible grasp of language and literally switches linguistic registers depending on who he’s talking to and what the situation is and given some of his lines that I’ve seen in the official translation compared to stuff in exr or that my friend has translated for me, it seems like Suika has flattened all of that out in favor of her usual style of handling lower class characters.

I think you’re noticing it because it’s at odds with everyone else’s translations and grasp of WWX. While ExR has its own troubles with grammar at times, you can still see the strength in his language usage, to say nothing of Fanyiyi and Taming Wangxian’s translations which are much more solid on that front(@mxtxfanatic has posts comparing the language uses between exr, Fanyiyi and Taming Wangxian if you’re curious) and really lay out a well spoken character who can adjust his speech as needed (and drop the occasional precision fuck strike when needed).

I am not impressed by Suika’s way of translating characters speech especially as it pertains to Wei Wuxian, and I think you’re right to say that it feels weird. Don’t follow her style of speech, continue to write a WWX who absolutely understands the tangled web of a world he lives in and adjusts his language for the person at hand consistently.

[sourcandivs]

ㅤೀ     𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐎𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 !      LEYLA AYDEMIR  sets sail to new adventures . the  TWENTY FOUR  year old is known to be  GULLIBLE  , but makes up for it by being  MAGNANIMOUS  . you can usually find  HER  listening to  ALL I WANTED by PARAMORE  ; might be a way to cope with  HER FIANCE LEADING A DOUBLE LIFE AND HAVING ANOTHER FAMILY  .     ﹕     ꒰   cemre baysel, cis woman, she/her   ꒱

  basics.

full name: leyla aydemir

nickname(s): n/a

age: twenty four

place of birth: istanbul, turkey

hometown: savannah, georgia

ethnicity: turkish

nationality: turkish - american

gender: ciswoman

pronouns: she/her/hers

orientation: pansexual & panromantic

occupation: vet assistant

language(s) spoken: turkish & english

accent: southern american

face claim: cemre baysel

hair colour: mid back length when naturally curly, mocha brown with caramel highlights

eye colour: green

height: 5′3″

build: slim

tattoos & piercings: HERE

clothing style: HERE

positive traits: adaptable, benevolent, affable, magnanimous, altruistic, gregarious, staunch, jovial

negative traits: gullible, impatient, indecisive, over critical, timid, fanciful, circumspect, transparent

hobbies: calligraphy, collecting vinyl albums

habits: nail biting

about

leyla was born to a single mother in istanbul, turkey on july 13th 1998. leyla’s mother and grandparents were decently well off and her father had never been in the picture nor ever expressed a want to be in leyla’s life, and from the stories her mom has told her over the years its probably for the best.

when leyla was only eight months old her family decided to immigrate to the united states, georgia in particularly due to a book her mother had read in her childhood. she moved with her mother and grandparents into a decent neighborhood in savannah, where she’s lived since.

as leyla grew older it became apparent that she was a social butterfly. always making new friends and talking their ears off. once she was old enough to be in school she excelled well in art classes, science classes and literature classes while she struggled with math.

she met her future fiance in high school, an assigned math tutor to help her through her difficult math classes. of course he was a senior when she was a sophomore and she had a massive crush on him but he ended up moving away for college after he graduated and leyla thought she was never see him again.

after graduating high school decided to attend school to become a vet tech, as she had always had a soft spot for animals. she works at an animal hospital in savannah and she couldn’t be happier with her job.

about two years ago leyla ran into her old tutor. quite literally actually, and they began to hit it off and it didn’t take long for her old crush to return... except this time they were both interested in each other. they began dating about two months later. leyla fell hard and fast, her first real relationship outside of flings in high school and college.

within a year he had proposed to her and as far as leyla could see they were well on their way to a happy marriage. as leyla began taking more time off to plan for their big wedding, she noticed some shifty behavior from her fiance. he was being more secretive, running off in the middle of the day for hours and hours, always leaving the room to take phone calls.

leyla quickly got into her own head about it and thought the worst. and her instincts would prove right. after following him one afternoon she followed him on one of his daily trips and was shocked to learn that not only did he have a secret girlfriend, but said secret girlfriend was also heavily pregnant.

leyla confronted him and ended the relationship so quick her own head was spinning. heartbroken and alone, she moved back in with her mother and aunt. her aunt heard about a cruise for heartbroken passengers from a co-worker and suggested leyla buy tickets. she used the saved up money from the wedding towards her ticket. leyla’s goal for this cruise is to let loose and take more risks (something she has always had a problem doing).

personality

affable ;  friendly, good-natured, or easy to talk to. / leyla has always been good at making friends. she’s kind and easy to talk to and can make you feel like you’ve known her over.

over critical ;  excessively critical; hypercritical. / leyla has always been hard on herself to be better at her job, or to be the best girlfriend, or to be the best best friend she can be and most of the time she can be too hard on herself.

staunch ;  loyal and committed in attitude. / sometimes leyla can be a little too loyal. most of the time to a fault. she can put blind faith in her close friends and it’s not uncommon for her to get hurt in the long run.

magnanimous ;  generous or forgiving, especially toward a rival or less powerful person. / never one to hold a grudge leyla can sometimes be too forgiving when it comes to people who have wronged her. every time it goes badly she swears she’s going to be tougher and put boundaries up, but she almost never follows through with it.

circumspect ;  wary and unwilling to take risks. / leyla can also be a little bit... predictable. growing up with an extremely over protective mother has rubbed off on her but she’s really trying to work on her unwillingness to step out of her comfort zone.

transparent ;  having thoughts, feelings, or motives that are easily perceived. / have you ever met someone who just wears their heart on their sleeve and their faces betray every little bit of emotion? that’s leyla. 

leyla’s wanted connections. 

[youneedasoultraveller]

Is Nicky the only one headcanoned by people as bad with languages or are Nile and Booker seen the same way too (Andy is of course excluded from that due to her age and Joe is universally depicted as skilled with languages) ? I would expect Nile to be seen as bad with languages due to the American education system but it doesn’t seem to be the case.

Hello! Post-response me would like to apologise once again for the length of this post :(

I have personally not found a single fic where either Booker or Nile were depicted bad with languages; at most I found fics where Nile cannot speak languages other than English yet and you have the rest of the Guard routinely teaching her this and that idiom.

So, no, in my experience the only one that I saw people actively headcanon as bad at languages is Nicolò. Even though exactly as you point our if we want to go by stereotypes the one that should have been hc’d as such should have been Nile precisely because the large majority of Anglos are monolingual and the way languages are taught in their educational systems is horrendous to say the least (I will never forget my experiences studying Arabic in a Canadian university).

As it stands, Nile is shown using a couple of words of Pashtu, and if I remember correctly it is mentioned that she speaks Spanish in her presentation card, but if it’s the average American knowledge of Spanish “mi casa es su casa” then I would not call that speaking it. But these are just suppositions :)

So canon doesn’t give us much, that we know. And this is where headcanons come in. Like I was saying, usually people would not write Nile as multilingual but as someone who is in the process of learning several languages.

No one is indicated that she is bad at it, although if you ask pratically anyone in the world they will tell you that Americans and Brits are the worst at both learning and speaking other languages, because in those cultures there is a deep imperialist bias engrained – whether they are aware or not – that everyone in the world speaks English, so they can spare the effort to try to pronounce properly another language, or, God forbid, learn it at all. Nothing indicates us that Nile butchers or not other languages, and no one ever takes it into account.

As for Booker, he is French so normally Anglos would have also made fun of his way of talking if it had not been for Matthias.

And now I reach my point. The main reason why Nicolò is consistently depicted as terrible at languages is because of Luca’s Italian accent, and the fact that you can see he is not as fluent in English as Marwan and Matthias are, who are like him not native speakers. This even though the man speaks five languages.

I am not going into the whole mess with interviews with native English speakers who treated him as if he were dumb just because he could not really understand their accent (I myself often have to slow down and ask for a repeat, because some accents are just not as immediately intelligible as Anglos think), given that it has been discussed at length.

The only thing I want to stress is how this headcanon is extremely imperialistic, condescending and plays once again into the harmful stereotype of the dumb, illiterate Southerner.

Linguistic discrimination is a thing, and it’s a thing everywhere. By linguistic discrimination I don’t just mean that against people who cannot speak a major language (or the “official” language of the country they are in), but it also affects accents.Accents have everything to do with geography and class: it is a marker of where you are from, and plays into prejudices linked to the social standing and the class usually associated to that accent. Now, languages are a natural process, in continuous evolution and adaptation, whereas standardised languages (including a standardised pronunciation) are artificial choices. Just think of British vs American English: they are both theoretically the same language, but they diverge in several instances in terms of both vocabulary and pronunciation.Whip this up to the max when it comes to speaking a language that is not your own. The sounds and grammar structures of your mother tongue have an impact on the way you process a different language. That’s why it’s difficult for Spanish-speakers to pronounce S + consonant at the beginning of a word, or why Slavic languages have a harder H sound (again at the beginning of a word). Even when you have the grammar and pronunciation down to a T and are virtually indistinguishable from a native speaker, it does not mean that people who lose their accents and speak like a BBC tv host are any better at languages than people whose accent is still noticeable, or whose speech flow may be slower.

Having an accent does not qualify the level of fluency in a set language. Not speaking like a dictionary does not qualify the level of your intelligence (and I cannot believe I have to even say that).

And yet having an accent is politicised for classist and racist purposes. If someone does not blend in 100% with the majority, it means that something is lacking in them: usually it means they do not have the same level of education, which means they probably come from a lower class, or that they also are foreigners. So they are less than, just because their speech is deemed as not up to par with that of the majority.

@lucyclairedelune meant this when she brought up the example of Gloria from Modern Family, saying “you don’t know how intelligent I am in Spanish”. I want to make an example that is closer to my heart. Elena Ferrante in her wondrous Neapolitan Quartet described the life of a girl who was trying to escape from the material and psychological misery of the slums of Naples in the 60s. To do so she migrates North to study at one of Italy’s most prestigious university: here, however, she is bullied for her accent that clearly marks her origins and (prejudicially, since people of the South were in general poorer) status, class, and, finally, categorises her as less intelligent. Just because of her accent when speaking standard Italian. As a Southern Italian woman, I have often felt like I had to mask my own accent, both in Italy and abroad, to be taken seriously. This regardless of my academic qualifications or how many languages I speak. 

When people describe Nicolò as bad at languages simply because Luca has an accent and speaks English slower and less fluently than his co-stars, this is the context that this treatment plays in. Subconsciously (or consciously) it adds to the image that a big chunk of the fandom is painting of him as dumb and ignorant. No one else. And the fact that (luckily) no one ever uses Nile’s monolingualism as a marker for being less intelligent is also because being American is still taken as the standard, as well as the fact that unfortunately Nile (like Yusuf) is going through positive discrimination by which she cannot have any complexity or flaws (starting from hardly ever acknowledging the fact that she herself was part of an invader/occupying foreign force which has bombed and killed civilians in Afghanistan, and was in the midst of a military operation exactly in this sense). 

According to that specific discourse, Nicolò is being given every single possible flaw, in order to be opposite to Yusuf. Again, because this fandom, with its Anglocentrism and Puritan incapacity of overcoming black-and-white oppositions, cannot seem to accept that we have a beautiful interracial, interreligious same-sex couple of complex individuals, who can both be smart at the same time. I myself think that Yusuf historically is better at languages than Nicolò, as he was a merchant (and an artist), and I love this difference about them, but conflating intelligence with proficiency in one single language (because it’s only proficiency English that we have been discussing, let’s be honest, if the show had been shot in German we would not be talking about Luca’s issues with the language probably) is an utterly imperialistic, condescending and ridiculous thing to do.

I probably lost the train of my thought (and I had two beers in the meantime, so I am too tired to reread), but what I mainly wanted to highlight is that this mocking attitude towards Nicolò is rooted in both a  wider downgrading trend of his character, and on a general approach towards non-English speakers that Anglos have virtually everywhere.

[magaliemagpie]

The Wheel of the Year

The Wheel of the Year is celebrated (usually) by Pagans and looks at the annual cycle of seasonal festivals. It includes the solstices and equinoxes, as well as the midpoints between them. As the festivals are based on British Paganism from the mid-20th century, there are Celtic Fire Festivals (or “Cross-Quarter Days”) which count for 4 of the festivals altogether - if you don’t want to celebrate these, then it’s perfectly alright not to. The Wheel of the Year is cyclical and so follows the idea of life, death and rebirth. Also, just because you practice witchcraft, doesn’t mean that you have to follow the Wheel of the Year - Witchcraft is not a religion, but a practice.

However, I follow the Wheel of the Year and so that’s why I’m putting this out there!

So to start, we’ve got our Solar Festivals;

Yule (Winter Solstice)

Ostara (Spring Equinox)

Litha (Summer Solstice)

Mabon (Autumnal Equinox)

The Solar Festivals celebrate the peak of each season and are decided by where the sun is in relation to the Earth.

And then there’s our Celtic Fire Festivals;

Imbolc/Bride

Beltaine

Lughnasadh/Lammas

Samhain

The Celtic Fire Festivals are the “entry” to the season and are seen to have tons of seasonal energy. This energy is usually released with a bonfire being lit. They’re like the midpoints between the Solstices and the Equinoxes, and can be called “Cross-Quarter Days”.

The Wheel of the Year isn’t the “End-All” or “Complete Collection” of festivals that you can celebrate, but it gives structure to the year and so most witches adapt to it. If there’s a holiday that you have and love, add it in and have some fun!

Samhain

"The end and the beginning of the Celtic Year” - L. Lister

In the Northern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from October 31st to November 1st

In the Southern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from April 30th to May 1st

So, I pronounce this like “sow-en” but I am Irish so it’s that Gaeilge accent coming out of me. This is also known as “Halloween” to those that don’t follow the Wheel of the Year, or “All Hallow’s Eve”. When we look at the cyclical nature of the Wheel of the Year, it stands for that in between moment where we stare and anticipate death. During this festival, the veil between the Living and the Dead is thin, and so it’s about remembering those that have passed before us.

Typically, witches will work with the dead and try to communicate with spirits and wandering ghosts.

Yule

“Festival of rebirth, midwinter, the shortest day and longest night of the year” - L. Lister

In the Northern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from December 20th to the 23rd

In the Southern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from June 20th to 23rd

Pronounced exactly how it looks, Yule is also called “Midwinter” commonly and “Alban Arthan” within modern Druid traditions. It’s the turning point of the year where we celebrate the fact that the sun is coming back and with it the life of the Earth. Basically we’re sick of winter and want summer back.

Typically, witches celebrate with warm drinks, Yule logs and evergreen trees decorated for the spirits of winter.

Imbolc/Imbolg/Bride

“The Earth’s awakening” - L. Lister

In the Northern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from January 31st to February 2nd

In the Southern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from July 31st to August 2nd

This festival has a lot of names, in case you couldn’t tell. Pick whichever you prefer and vibe with it - it honestly doesn’t really matter which you choose because they all mean the same festival in essence. So Bride isn’t pronounced how you think it is, it’s “bri-ja” like the word “bridge” but stretched out. It is not pronounced like a groom and bride!

Imbolg celebrates the return of spring, and is originally a festival that celebrated the goddess Brigid, later turned into Saint Brigid through Christianisation.

Typically, witches will light torches and celebrate using fire in every form, symbolising the light that is coming with Spring.

Ostara

“The first day of Spring, day and night are equal” - L. Lister

In the Northern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from March 21st to 22nd

In the Southern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from September 21st to 22nd

This festival is attributed to Eostre (an Old English Goddess/ Anglo-Saxon Goddess). Basically, it’s about how excited everyone is now that spring is here. Ostara is now Easter - hares and eggs are the symbols of Eostre. The Equinox is all about fertility, new life and the idea of harmony and balance. Light and dark are equal, and the light is only growing stronger. Bluntly put, Ostara is the run-up for Beltaine (the prep work kinda?), since it’s all gaining the favour of a fertility goddess which is then put to the test at the next festival .

Typically, witches will paint eggs and basically dedicated the festival to celebrating fertility.

Beltaine

“ Heralding Summer, festival of fertility” - L. Lister

In the Northern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated on the 1st of May

In the Southern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from October 31st to November 1st

So I’m cheating on this one..... Beltaine (”bell-ten-aah”) can be spelt Bealteinne, Bealtaine and Beltane, but I’m Irish so I use the Irish/Gaeilge spelling and pronunciation.

Beltaine is the first day of summer and was celebrated by people jumping over fires to ensure their fertility - it was symbolic and the idea that if you cleared the fire with no problems, then you’re definitely gonna be fertile and conceive super easily. The veil between the world is thin during this time, and so it’s perfect to communicate with spirits - human and not.

Typically, witches have a lot of sex and go for nature walks.

Litha

“Summer’s height, the longest day and the shortest night” - L. Lister

In the Northern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from June 20th to the 23rd

In the Southern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from December 20th to 23rd

At the Summer Solstice, the sun is high and bright in the sky and is at its peak for the year. It can be called “Midsummer” as well, as after it the dark starts to creep back into our days.

Here’s a fun fact, so June is blessed with the Mead Moon or Honey Moon, and as June was considered super lucky, couples would get married during it. Newlyweds would have to drink mead all day for a month after their wedding for tradition and so this period of time was known as their “honeymoon”, and is where we get the term from!

Typically, witches will eat fresh fruits and experience the power of the sun through meditating outdoors, going for a walk, and charging spells, crystals, and herbs. Divination is practised at night during this time!

Lughnasadh/Lammas

“Festivals of gratitude and marriage” - L. Lister

In the Northern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from July 31st to August 1st

In the Southern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from February 1st to 2nd

So this is a bit different..... this festival has two names coming from two different origins and this can affect how you celebrate (you can also choose to just not care about that too, either-or really). Lughnasadh is an old way of spelling it, but the modern Irish way is spelt Lúnasa (”loo-na-sah”), if you prefer one way of spelling over the other then choose that one (they’re pronounced the same btw!).  Lammas is the Anglo-Saxon version and translates to loaf mass, whereas Lughnasagh was dedicated to the Celtic god of fire, Lugh.

It’s the festival of the first harvest, so things like baking bread and eating fruits, handfasting and just having a great time on a hill or a mountain (this is something people did for Lugh but I’ll go over that another time).

Typically, witches will bake bread in the shape of a man and eat it, drinking wine (personally, I like rosé) and all around just doing things that relax you.

Mabon

“Festival of harvest, when day and night are equal” - L. Lister

In the Northern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from September 20th to 23rd

In the Southern Hemisphere, it’s celebrated from March 20th to 23rd

This.... This right here..... This is my favourite festival. It’s also known as Meán Fómhair (”man” - “foh-er”/”fore” - depends on dialect) in Irish/Gaeilge and is about sharing the last of the harvest amongst others. There’s a lot of bread baking for this holiday as well and I am absolutely enthralled about that. It’s got all the vibes of spiced apples, cinnamon sticks and pastry pies rolled up into one.

Typically, witches will bake apple pie and bread, do some autumn house cleaning, and decorate using acorns and corn.

And that’s the Wheel of the Year! I’ll have a more in depth post where I go over each festival to the point of tears, but for now this is the bare bones of it all!

Thanks for coming to my Witch Talk xx

[demivampirew]

Don’t judge a book by its cover chapter 2.

A Cap. Syverson story.

Triggers: talking about xenophobia, white privilege, crying; cursing; slang words; stalking, panic; metion of assault

Synopsis: Rebeca is an Argentinian girl who a few months ago moved to the USA (Washington D.C) to study in university thanks to a scholarship that she was granted. She’s lonely. People don’t treat her well. Some could be understood but most of them just hate her for being a foreigner. She meets Syverson because he’s a man from the South and she has not had a good experience with people from there, but she may find out at the end that she shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.

Chapter 1

Tag: lunedelorient

- So, what does a man from the South do in Washington? You're far away from home, cowboy. - Rebeca joked after asking the question as she handed him a cup of hot black coffee as he requested.

- Cowboy? Do I look like a cowboy to you? - he asked, amused.

- You certainly sound like one to me.- she replied

- You haven't been to the South, have you?

- Nope.- she said as she took a sip of coffee with milk.

- I must say, for someone who's pre-judge for being an outsider, you're pretty judgy yourself, have you notice that? - he pointed out as he raised an eyebrow

- Maybe, but you have to admit that I do have my reasons to be judgemental.- she reasoned. Then she sighed and continued- I was a really nice girl, truly. I was just a young woman living her dream of studying abroad, in the land in which dreams come true. I was given once in a lifetime opportunity based on my high grades in my university in Argentina. I heard about the programme that the embassy offered to students with high grades and decided to apply without even believing I would get it, but luckily I did. I couldn't freaking believe it. I came here excited to have the experience of a lifetime and found that life here is not like in the movies. The sweet lady I used to be had to be replaced by a living zombie. What I'm trying to say is, that I had to be tough to resist a lot of shitty things that happened to me here, but in the same time had to be as nice as I could to anyone, because even if I'm the "privileged Latina", I'm still a Latina, meaning I'm part of a minority and my actions count. It's hard, I won't lie. I'm still trying to adapt to this life in which I matter my own business...I work every day, weeks on the grocery store and weekends as a Spanish tutor; I study hard so I keep my high grades, the main reason I have my scholarship. I try not to bother anyone, so anyone will bother me. They still do it, though. - she sighed again.- The hardest part of all of this, and this is going to sound pathetic, is that I'm all by myself. My family is far away. I call them as much as I can, but in the same time I try to avoid them a little bit so they won't find out about everything that's going on, they would not be ok with staying here if they knew how things really are. And, on top of that, I have no friends. Being a "smart ass" wasn't much of a problem at my university. On the contrary, everyone wanted you around so you could help them if they had troubles understanding something. I think is mostly because people in the UBA - University of Buenos Aires - are mostly adults. There are people of all ages, but there's a lot of people in there who study and work, so you know that they take things seriously. Here, I came to find out, it's exactly like high school, just full of rich kids that only want to party. Most of the people at my classes never worked a day in their lives. The parents pay for everything, so they party all night, sleep all day. Then, the day of the exams come and they remember that they need high grades or their daddies will cut off their allowance or, in cases like Trevor, who's the captain of the football team, they could prevent him from continue playing. Is in those days that all the sudden, I became someone worthy of their attention for other things than scream "go back to your country" or "in this country we speak English" when they hear me speak to someone in my native language over the phone.

- Is that why he was bothering you today? - Syverson asked

- I assume so, yes. Every time there's an important test, he comes to me and tries hard to make me do his exam for him. I always tell him no, of course, I don't want to risk getting caught and losing my scholarship because of that.

- Has he ever tried to hurt you before? - he asked the was anger on his voice.

- No. He's always more into pranks than punches. He broke my window twice. I found dog's shit on my doorstep many times and one time I found a dead mouse on my bag. But he never went that far, probably because I always act nice. But today I was tired of his crap, so I defied him. He said something stupid like "Isn't weird that your parents named you Rebeca being Latina?" and I replied " Isn't weird that you have a brain a never use it?" and he got angry. As I said, I usually play nice, because I know he's bad news; but this time, I was fed up. And I almost ended with a black eye or a broken nose if it wasn't for you. So thank you for saving my ass.- she concluded with a smile.

- You have nothing to thank for. - he replied smiling back at her. - Do you have a pen and a piece of paper? - he asked.

- Ye...yeah, sure. - she said confused by the odd request and looked for what was asked for in her bag and then handed them to him. He wrote a number in the paper and gave it to her.

- That's my number. You call me next time someone messes with you or you're in trouble.- he told her. It sounded more like an order rather than a suggestion. He was clearly someone used to command; the authority in his voice was undeniable.

- I don't want to bother you. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.

- You won't bother me. This is the reason why I joined the forces. I didn't only want to fight for my country, I wanted to help and protect people. Believe it or not, the second being the main one. And you are clearly someone that needs to be looked after and since you don't have anyone else, I'm glad to take that job.- he said and smiled.

- Tha..thanks -she finally accepted. Rebeca wasn't used to asking for help. She always tried to manage everything by her own, as well as she could, but she had to admit that it was nice to know that someone was willing to help her if she needs it to. - So... - she said, returning to the beginning of their conversation - You never told me what are you doing in Washington?

- I live here- he replied

- Have you lived here for long? - she asked, curious.

- A few years. I used to live in Georgia, but after my mother passed away so I didn't have anything else for me back there and, at the time, I was seeing a woman and she wanted to move here, so that's what we did.

- So you are married. - she pointed out and he laughed.

- No, ma'am. I'm not. We were together for some time, but then duty called again and she didn't want me to go, but I had to go. I had to. They needed me there. She couldn't quite get that so she left. It's been only me since then.- he explained.

- Sorry to hear that.

- Don't worry, I had time to get over it. - he assured her and finished his coffee and got up from the couch - Well, I better get going. You probably need to rest.

Rebeca walked him to the door and he reminded her to call him if she needed him and then left.

The next few days were quite normal. Everyone in college heard about what happened with Trevor, which make some people hate her more, others started to like her a little bit and others were scared of her - well, they were scared that "Rebeca's boyfriend" would beat the shit outta them if they messed with her. She barely knew Syverson, but she didn't bother correcting them. If that helped her get some peace, so be it, let them believe she's Sy's girlfriend. She surprised herself more than once thinking about him and using Sy instead of his full surname.

On Friday, she had to work until late to cover for the hours that they allowed at work to take the test that she missed because of the incident with Trevor. Luckily, the people at the university received a note sign by a high range officer at the police station to use as proof that she spend the day testifying about the intent of assault, so she was able to take the exam another day. She left the grocery store and started to walk towards her place. It was twenty blocks away. She usually worked until 8 pm, but that day she worked until 11 pm - the store was always open until midnight. After her shift, the owners would take her place. Rebeca knew well the way back home and there was usually some people on the streets when she went to her place after work, but this time the streets were completely empty. Not a single soul was there and it was completely dark. She started to walk at a really fast pace, wishing to get to the house as soon as possible.

After walking for a few minutes, she noticed two men, both around 25-30 years old. They were walking in the street across her but then crossed to her street. They were at a block away distance from her. She tried not to panic. Maybe those guys just needed to be on that block, that's all. When she reached the corner of the street, she turned and continue walking for another street. She knew it was risky because she didn't know the place well and she could get lost, but she needed to know for sure that was just imagination. At the corner, she saw in a car's mirror that the two guys had also turned in the same street that she did. It wasn't her imagination. She was indeed being followed. Trembling, she grabbed her phone from her coat pocket, trying to maintain calm so they wouldn't notice that she knew they were following her. Without even thinking, she searched for a number in her contacts and presses the dial button.

- Hello? Who is it? - Syverson answered with his thick Southern accent

- It's me, Rebeca. - she mumbled; she didn't want them to hear her speak

- Rebeca? I can barely hear you. Are you ok? - he asked worriedly

- I'm being followed.- she said fighting the tears of fear.

- What?! - he questioned even worrier- Tell me where you are? Who's following you?

- I don't know. There are two men around 30 following me. I was on my way home after work and I saw them and I suspected but then changed my route to see if the still followed me and yes, they are still walking behind me, a block away distance. - she explained as well as she could, almost whispering and he could hear the terror on her voice.

- Ok. Keep walking, don't stop walking. I'm on my way.- he said as he grabbed the car keys and left his house- Tell me, what street are you on?

- I don't know the name.

- Look for a street sign or something I can use to track you down. - he ordered her and she started to look, as nonchalant as possible, for any clue.

- I see a coffee shop in the next block, next to a flower store. - she informed

- Is there a house with pink roses on the entrance on the corner of the street? - he questioned

- Yes.- she replied.

- I know exactly where you are, sweetheart. Continue walking, I'll be there soon. I have to hang out now. Be brave, you're gonna be ok, you heard me?

- Ok.-she try to sound calm by she was in full panic. She continued walking as fast as she could, even though her legs felt like jelly.

Syverson put back the phone on his pocket and turned on the car and went to her rescue. He ignored several red lights and over speeded, but he didn't have the time to care about that, he needed to make it on time. He had his gun with him. He hoped he didn't have to use it, but he was no going to let anyone hurt her.

Rebeca peeked at the men trough another's car's mirror and to her horror, they were even closer. Her legs were starting to give in. She was so afraid that her body was shaken and she was starting to feel paralyzed. It was only her survival instinct what was keep her going. Moments later, she saw a car light coming from the opposite direction in which she was walking. The car started to slow down the fast pace and then she could finally see it. It was him. It was Sy. He stopped the car and she started running. He got out of the car as fast as he could. She ran directly into his arms and hugged him as tight as she could and the started to cry because of the fear and because she was happy that he was there. She was safe now. The two men started to run back in the direction that they came off as soon as they saw Syverson and his gun. He wanted to run after them, if they were predators, they could look for another victim, but his priority at the moment was Rebeca. She was trembling and crying and he needed to make her feel safe and ok. He hugged her and caress the back of her head while telling over and over "It's ok, I'm here now. You're safe. I promise".

[anvrchists]

INFORMATION AND STATISTICS FOR JONAS MERCER

including an in-depth personality analysis

BASIC INFORMATION

Full name: Jonas Mercer, formerly Alexander Buchanan Marlo Nicknames: None Age: 36 years old Date of Birth: May 29th, 1984 Hometown: Scarsdale, NY Current location: Paradise, NV Ethnicity: Caucasian Nationality: American Gender: cisgender male (he/him) Sexuality: Pansexual, Panromantic Religion: Atheist Political Affiliation: Liberal Occupation: Business Owner, Anonymous Hacker Languages spoken: English, Irish, Spanish, French, Italian Accent: Un-pinnable Southern, hints at New Orleans and East Coast

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Face Claim: Boyd Holbrook Hair Colour: blond, in this style Eye Colour: blue Weight: 188lbs Height: 6′2 Build: Athletic Tattoos: TBD Piercings: TBD

PERSONALITY

Label: The Lothario Positive Traits: + intelligent, confident, adaptable, observant, charming, gregarious Negative Traits: - elusive, selfish, detached, superficial, flirtatious, dishonest Goals/Desires: to survive Fears: deep open waters, losing everything he’s worked for, claustrophobia, drowning/suffocating Hobbies: plants, cooking, reading, hunting, music

FAMILY

Father: alexander buchanan marlo i. 66. Mother: esme marlo (martin). 64. Sibling(s): none Children: open Pet(s): bernese mountain dog, murphy.

EXTRA

Zodiac Sign: Gemini - “Despite their unfair rep for being two-faced, once a Gemini is in your life, they’re loyal for life—but they aren’t afraid to voice their opinion if they feel you’re doing something they disagree with or if they perceive you as not being loyal to them.” MBTI: ESTP-A - The Entrepreneur. “ They love exploring interesting ideas, both in discussion and by going out and seeing for themselves, which means that Entrepreneurs always seem to have some fun activity hidden up their sleeves. At the same time, Entrepreneur personalities are easy-going, tolerant, and charming, making them naturally quite popular.” Alignment: True Neutral - "A true neutral character does what seems to be a good idea. He doesn't feel strongly one way or the other when it comes to good vs. evil or law vs. chaos. Most true neutral characters exhibit a lack of conviction or bias rather than a commitment to neutrality. Such a character thinks of good as better than evil after all, he would rather have good neighbors and rulers than evil ones. Still, he's not personally committed to upholding good in any abstract or universal way.” Enneagram: Type 8 - The Challenger. “Although, to some extent, Eights fear physical harm, far more important is their fear of being disempowered or controlled in some way. Eights are extraordinarily tough and can absorb a great deal of physical punishment without complaint—a double-edged blessing since they often take their health and stamina for granted and overlook the health and well-being of others as well. Yet they are desperately afraid of being hurt emotionally and will use their physical strength to protect their feelings and keep others at a safe emotional distance. Beneath the tough façade is vulnerability, although it has been covered over by layer of emotional armor.” Archetype: The Joker - “Light hearted, sociable and fun to be around.” Celtic Tree: Hawthorn, the Illusionist - “Just like Gemini in western astrology, the Hawthorn from the Celtic tree astrology isn’t all that it appears to be. Their exterior world can be completely different from the inner landscape and they can show a new side to you each day. If you hang out with Hawthorn signs too often, you’ll see that they put the term “never judge a book by its cover” to the test.” Temperament: Sanguine - “The sanguine temperament is fundamentally spontaneous and pleasure-seeking; sanguine people are sociable and charismatic. They tend to enjoy social gatherings, making new friends and tend to be boisterous. They are usually quite creative and often daydream. However, some alone time is crucial for those of this temperament.” Hogwarts House: Slytherin - “Slytherins tend to be ambitious, shrewd, cunning, strong leaders, and achievement-oriented. They also have highly developed senses of self-preservation. This means that Slytherins tend to hesitate before acting, so as to weigh all possible outcomes before deciding exactly what should be done.” Primary Vice: Pride - “[Pride] is identified as dangerously corrupt selfishness, the putting of one's own desires, urges, wants, and whims before the welfare of other people..” Primary Virtue: Prudence - “The ability to discern the appropriate course of action to be taken in a given situation at the appropriate time.” Element: Water - “They “go with the flow,” but don’t flit about like Air people. Their movements have a definite path, albeit an often unexpected one. The Water person’s open heart makes [him] generous, and [his] empathy can make [him] quite social, although not all Water people are “bubbly.” [He] is often very dreamy, and can be mystical.”

[uberfluss]

1-100 go on ;)

1. What is you middle name? McKenna

2. How old are you? [REDACTED]

3. When is your birthday? end of November ish?

4. What is your zodiac sign? Sagittarius

5. What is your favorite color? all of em

6. What’s your lucky number? 3, 49

7. Do you have any pets? an eel a couple bettas a community tank some goldfish 2 cats 2 dogs and a guinea pig

8. Where are you from? Mannhiem

9. How tall are you? 5'5

10. What shoe size are you? 8

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 5

12. What was your last dream about? probably my own death

13. What talents do you have? cutting hair, guitar ukulele

14. Are you psychic in any way? empath and medium

15. Favorite song? Bad memory K. Flay

16. Favorite movie? new movie: birds of preyold movie: Beetlejuice

17. Who would be your ideal partner? not sure

18. Do you want children? yeah

19. Do you want a church wedding? god no

20. Are you religious? yes

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? I'm a regular in the ER and the nurses know my face

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? treaspassing

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? if Trixie matell and Sven Ghoulie count

24. Baths or showers? baths

25. What color socks are you wearing? I refuse to wear socks

26. Have you ever been famous? yes

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? yes becuase the money I'd earn I could use to do good

28. What type of music do you like? metal? alternate?

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? nope

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 4

31. What position do you usually sleep in? on my stomach

32. How big is your house? 4 bedrooms 2 bath but only 3 people live here and one of em is barely here so the spare room is my plant room

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? a sip of juice and my meds

34. Have you ever fired a gun? yes

35. Have you ever tried archery? yes

36. Favorite clean word? welp

37. Favorite swear word? Fuck

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 47 hours

39. Do you have any scars? many

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? no they're all very open

41. Are you a good liar? terrifyingly

42. Are you a good judge of character? very

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? yes I can dona thick southern drawl and a midwestern

44. Do you have a strong accent? I have a German accent but I usually hide it with a midwestern

45. What is your favorite accent? russian

46. What is your personality type? INFP-T

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? my 100 dollar demonia boots

48. Can you curl your tongue? yes I can also make a clover

49. Are you an innie or an outie? innie becuase I don't have weak abdominal muscles

50. Left or right handed? I was right handed but I became left handed out of spite and now my right hand can't do shit

51. Are you scared of spiders? only if they're smaller than a quarter

52. Favorite food? I don't really like food

53. Favorite foreign food? ^

54. Are you a clean or messy person? messy to a point then I get anxiety and have to clean

55. Most used phrased? I'm an idiot

56. Most used word? is a keysmash a word?

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 10 minutes

58. Do you have much of an ego? more pride than I'd like to admit but not in a vain way

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? suck

60. Do you talk to yourself? sometimes

61. Do you sing to yourself? yeah

62. Are you a good singer? I don't think so but ive been told I am

63. Biggest Fear? not being trusted and abandonment

64. Are you a gossip? not really?

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? no clue

66. Do you like long or short hair? from my perspective long, as a beautician, short

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? yes

68. Favorite school subject? english

69. Extrovert or Introvert? introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? no

71. What makes you nervous? everything

72. Are you scared of the dark? not really

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? if its enough to bother me or it could potentially endanger them

74. Are you ticklish? Yes

75. Have you ever started a rumor? no

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? frequently

77. Have you ever drank underage? no

78. Have you ever done drugs? yes

79. Who was your first real crush? my best friend

80. How many piercings do you have? 9

81. Can you roll your Rs?“ yes

82. How fast can you type? no clue

83. How fast can you run? no clud

84. What color is your hair? naturally dark brown nearly black, presently peachy orange

85. What color is your eyes? split down the center blue and green with grey lines like mountains

86. What are you allergic to? gluten dairy sugar corn cauliflower most oils

87. Do you keep a journal? only a food log

88. What do your parents do? Oracle DBA and an engineering manager

89. Do you like your age? eh

90. What makes you angry? people giving me shit for no reasin

91. Do you like your own name? I mean I need to change it so....

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Jasper, Ophelia,

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? honestly boy

94. What are you strengths? I'm adaptable, I work well with kids, I'm outgoing, I have a way with words sometimes

95. What are your weaknesses? I get overwhelmed quickly

96. How did you get your name? my mom wanted to name me Friday my dad said it was stupid so I got my dead name after a candy.

97. Were your ancestors royalty? nope

98. Do you have any scars? quite a few

99. Color of your bedspread? blue and brown plaid

100. Color of your room? cream white and blue with red fucking floors? it's janky and it honestly makes me depressed I wanna paint it stark white

[derryleadera]

             @korezni​ said : ' there is no end to our story . '

he’s no stranger to being haunted   ------   of having the memory of a person constantly hovering over his mind   ,   making it damn near impossible to focus on his other pursuits. georgie had haunted him for most of his life ever since his untimely death  ,   but this   ?   was it possible to be haunted by someone who was still on this earth   ?   its been almost a year since he last found himself on a sound - stage   ,   the adaption of his most recent book   ,   joanna   ,   the latest addition to his growing collection of works. it’s been a year since he’s found himself in california   ,   currently traveling around the globe for his book tour   ,   busying himself with signing copies of his new book   &   doing press conference after press conference. it’s been almost a year since that fateful day in nikolai’s apartment   ,   where they had shared wine   ,   pizza   ------   a dance   ,   the memory of his warm   ,   sweet lips on his skin enough to cover his arms in goosebumps. even after all this time   ,   that evening still manages to take his breath away   ,   remembering it fondly like it happened over a decade ago rather than a year. christ   ,   there’s so much that bill regrets in regards to his life   ,   many of them revolving around his younger brother georgie   ,   but oh   ,   he regrets the lack of action he took during that last day before the ravkan heir left back for his home country. the setting couldn’t have been more perfect   ------   bodies were already close   ,   feelings they both obviously shared for one another practically laid out in the way he kissed his temple   &   cheek so sweetly. bill remembers how his heart damn near had a heart attack at such sweet   ,   lovely actions  ,   unsure the last time anyone’s ever been that deliberately slow   &   sweet with him. in the world of money   &   hollywood   ,   it was all about getting through things as fast as you can   ,   move on to the next best thing while you still could. bill was more than used to this sort of pace   ,   it’s probably why spending time with the ravkan royal was so appealing in the first place. hell   ,   he finds his cheeks burning as the memories of the past few years begins to take shape in his mind   ,   many coffees   &   dinners shared along with lots of laughs   ,   the two at ease whenever in each other’s vicinity   ;   unafraid. bill hasn’t felt that sort of freedom since nikolai left   ,   &   if there was any way he could go back in time   ,   go back to that fateful night they danced to the soft   ,  crooning voice of that andy williams record  ,   then maybe   ,   just maybe   ,   he could have convinced him to stay. he could have been man enough to tell nik just how much he wanted him here with him   ,   how much he wished he could just share a place with him   ,   a place they could make their own   ,   have pizza   &   wine almost every damn day if they wanted. if he could change the way that night went   ,   rather than watch him leave his life   ,   he would have reached for that leather gloved hand of his   ,   pulling him into that long awaited kiss movie audiences yearn to see   ,   really sending it home how much he cared   ------   how much he loved him.

                                                christ   ,   he really   ,   really loved him   ,   didn’t he   ?

even with nikolai now back in ravka   ,   they still managed to stay in contact with one another to some degree. there’s been phone calls here   &   there whenever nik was granted a chance   ,   the sound of his voice filling the author with a pleasurable relief   ,   like a refreshing breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. nik calling him meant he was okay   ,   that things were   ,   in a general sense   ,   okay in his country. but as much as he loved hearing his voice   ,   english now perfected with an accent still laced around certain words   &   vowels   (   something bill can’t help but find utterly attractive   )   ,   it wasn’t the same as having him physically here. bill missed having him only a few minutes away   ,   able to visit him whenever he pleased or have nik visit him on set   ,   usually with the intention of whisking him away. they’ve done that together so many times over the last few years   ,   that bill didn’t realize how much he took those moments for granted. without a movie to be made   ,   there was no chance for them to do those things anymore   &   hell   ,   what he wouldn’t give to go back to the simple life all over again. well   ,   as simple as it could be for them anyways. at least his own life was busy with his book tour   ,   the writer unsure how he’d be able to cope with it all if he wasn’t consistently working day in   &   day out. thankfully   ,   a silver lining in the form of good news from susan was the opportunity he was waiting for. his latest book   ,   joanna   ,   was picked up by warner bros.   &   preparing for production in the fall   ,   with bill meant to write the screenplay. gosh   ,   when bill heard the news   ,   he was damn near elated   ,   ecstatic   !   he almost kissed susan right then   &   there   ,   it was such wonderful news   !   bill could care less about the fact that they were planning on churning out another movie based on one of his stories   ,   but maybe   ,   just maybe   ,   this could mean that a certain someone might return from his country’s pursuits   ,   diving back into his love for western media   &   movies   ;   his love for bill’s books   ,   which was what brought them together in the first place. bill could only hope that this meant they would see each other again. please   ,   he remembers thinking   ,   damn near praying every night a few days before the first filming day. please   ,   come back. please come back to me.

bill had tried to call nik about the movie   ,   but had been left with his answering machine almost every time. this wasn’t completely out of the ordinary   ,   considering just how busy he tended to be   ,   but it did leave the author a tad bit worried. maybe he’s too busy with his country’s work   ,   began a thought   ,   too busy to worry himself with another stupid american movie. it was a total   ,   logical possibility   ,   one that made bill sick to his stomach. christ   ,   the thought of not seeing nik   &   having to go through this whole production hell all on his own   ?   well   ,   fuck that   ,   he thought quietly   ,   but he couldn’t lose hope. not yet   ,   anyway. so he would wait   ,   wait patiently until that fateful day he’d find himself back in the southern part of california   ,   nerves buzzing in his stomach as he steps back onto that fateful sound - stage once more   ,   not at all prepared from what was about to unfold. a few familiar faces were found as he ventured deeper onto the lot   ,   bill offering smiles   &   polite waves as he passed   ,   happy to see them of course   ,   but   ------   they weren’t who he was looking for. it was early in the morning still   ,   &   bill had already looped around the lot twice with no sight of the ravakan royal   ,   a fact that made his heart grow heavy   ,   his face drooping with disappointment   &   growing sadness. he cares about his country. he knows where his responsibilities lie   ,   came a thought in his head   ,   &  while bill completely understands   ,  there’s no hiding the pain he begins to feel radiate deep in his chest. he’s about ready to give up   &   go back to work   ,   ready to meet the new director for this production   ,   when he turns   &   notices a familiar   ,   tall figure   ,   standing just a couple of feet away from him. his black coat was hard to mistake even from this distance   ,   black gloves covering his hands   ,   hair perfectly done with perfect features so distracting   ,   you hardly noticed the scars that were littered across porcelain skin. bill feels the air damn near get knocked out of him just at the sight   ,  having to lift his glasses   &   rub his eyes   ------   assure himself this wasn’t some sort of mirage or illusion.   &   thank god it wasn’t   ,   lenses returned over his eyes to see that the prince   ,   king   ,  whatever he was   ,   was still there   ,   bright   ,   beaming smile ever present over his features   ,   drawing bill in as he finds himself moving over to him   ,   determination now set in. nikolai opens his mouth to speak   ,   saying something damn poetic   ,   ‘   there is no end to our story   ,   ‘   or whatever   ,   but bill barely hears it. he’s been waiting for this moment for what feels like a long time. he’s hoped   &   prayed for some small chance that he’d see the royal once again   ,   &   he told himself the minute he did   ,   he planned to do what he couldn’t do in that nearly empty apartment almost over a year ago. nikolai talks   &   bill is determined to silence him   ,   hands reaching for either side sof his face   &   tugging him down to meet his height  until their lips finally greet each other in a long awaited kiss the movie audience has been waiting for.

the whole action is a little clumsy at first   ,   bill slightly stumbling into him a little as the sensation almost makes the writer fall over like some love - struck teen   ,   but he manages   ,   the king’s support enough to keep him steady.   &   then he finds himself melting into him   ,   nik kissing him back   ,   giving bill the courage to deepen it   ,   even go as far as let his tongue brush along his bottom lip. what a bold man he was   !   it didn’t matter to him that they were in the middle of the production lot where everyone could see them   ,   both men were never the type to shy away from their loving affection   &   bill’s sure the rest of the crew had been waiting for this moment to happen for a long   ,  long time. lungs cry out for air   &   bill finally parts away from the royal   ,   emotional tears beginning to bud in his eyes   ,   making the blue color in them spakle as the fondness grows into love   ,   has always been love   ,   as he gaze at him.   ❝   you came back   ,   ❞   bill manages to say   ,   voice breaking a bit as he kisses nikolai again   ,   very briefly before pulling him into a tight embrace   ,   arms wrapping around his shoulders   ,   uncertain if he could ever bare to let him go. he definitely couldn’t.   ❝   you came back to me.   ❞   god   ,   bill realizes he must look   &   sound like a complete mess   ,   but he didn’t care. this was their moment   ,   their perfect movie moment   &   he was going to enjoy this for a long as he was able.   ❝   gosh   ,   nik. i’m sorry. i’m sorry i let you go. please   ------   i don’t want you to go away again   ,   okay   ?   stay this time   ?   ❞   as he pleads   ,   he keeps the royal in his embrace   ,   arms loosening slightly to allow him the choice to move if he so desired. hopefully   ,   this would be the movie to make nikolai stay once it was over. bill isn’t sure how he is meant to go on without him   ,   not if he wasn’t by his side.

[citizenscreen]

Out of the blue I watched a new-to-me movie the other day about a retired Army Colonel who takes on corrupt politicians in his hometown in Georgia. The movie’s title is Colonel Effingham’s Raid, a 1946 comedy directed by Irving Pichel starring Charles Coburn as the title character. Colonel Effingham’s Raid has a lot going for it with charm high on its list of attributes thanks in large part to Coburn, the Georgia native with a talent for comedy and an English accent. It was then that I decided to dedicate an entry to him because I enjoy him so…and…lo and behold, this week would have been his birthday.

Charles Coburn (June 19, 1877 – August 30, 1961)

We have an embarrassment of riches in the character actor department of classic films. There are numerous memorable actors who deserve praise for bettering films simply by their appearance no matter how small a role. One of those is Charles Coburn who enjoyed a popularity many of the other character players did not. Indeed, thanks to Coburn’s 3-decades-long screen career during which he appeared in nearly 100 movies and television shows, his name recognition rivaled that of the stars whose names appeared above the title. Coburn was also highly regarded critically receiving three Academy Award nominations for Best Supporting Actor, taking home Oscar once for his delightful portrayal of Benjamin Dingle in George Stevens‘ wartime comedy, The More the Merrier (1943). More important than awards, however, was Charles Coburn’s undeniable ability to delight greatly with his talent.

Charles Douville Coburn was born in Macon, Georgia on June 19, 1877 and grew up in beautiful Savannah. He was the son of Scotch-Irish Americans Emma Louise Sprigman and Moses Douville Coburn who were not entertainers, but that didn’t stop young Charles from taking odd jobs at the local Savannah Theater starting at the age of 14. He was bitten by the entertainment industry bug early and did everything from handing out programs to being the doorman to theater manager by the age of 18. Failing to make his mark in Georgia, Charles left for New York at age 19. Although Mr. Coburn didn’t hit the big time immediately, his Broadway debut in 1901 was an inevitability as was his forming The Coburn Shakespearean Players in 1905. His partner in that endeavor was another actor, Ivah Wills, who became Mrs. Coburn in 1906. The two had six children together.

In addition to managing the Coburn Players, Charles and Ivah starred in and produced many plays throughout the decades during which the troupe traveled to college campuses across the country and appeared on Broadway. The couple met when he was playing Orlando to her Rosalind in As You Like It. They continued to work together until her death in 1937 performing Shakespeare and French and Greek dramas and comedies. In her book, Greek Tragedy on the American Stage: Ancient Drama in the Commercial Theater …, Karelisa Hartigan mentions how the Coburn Players would give over 100 performances every summer mostly outdoors. The popularity of their performances created an interest in outdoor theaters with other companies following their lead. Charles Coburn played most of the male leading parts with Ivah, billed as Mrs. Coburn, playing the female leads. The productions were often called “amateurish” by critics, but the performances were always praised. These scholarly productions likely led to Charles’ English accent despite being a Southern gentleman.

I’d be remiss not to mention that although few know her name, Ivah Wills had a long list of credits in her own right both as an actor and producer in a career that spanned 35 years. Ivah garnered positive reviews along with her husband and both were highly regarded members of the acting community. To put it in perspective, consider that George M. Cohan was among the honorary pallbearers at Ivah’s funeral.

Cobrun and Wills in The Taming of the Shrew

Ivah and Charles

After Ivah Wills’ death, Charles Coburn moved to Hollywood to start a movie career. He’d already appeared in a 1933 short film and in The People’s Enemy, a crime drama directed by Crane Wilbur. However, the roles that would cement his legacy as a screen star began in earnest in 1938 with comedic performances far removed from his classical training, but roles in which he excelled. Coburn’s best movie roles are the ones where he perfectly balances the high-brow snootiness with a touch of bumbling fool. Roger Ebert described him as a toned down Charles Laughton and that’s exactly right. Coburn paved the road to stardom at the age of 61 and became a steadfast presence that could be counted on for his comedic timing as charming old men with affected manner and accent – always with a monocle, which he removed only to eat, and sometimes chomping on a cigar. One cannot help but smile when he appears on screen.

Clarence Brown‘s Of Human Hearts (1938) offered Coburn his first substantial role alongside a first-rate cast led by Walter Huston, James Stewart and another terrific character actor, Beulah Bondi. Although that film is a Western, Coburn played a doctor, the type of professional role along with several judges, business men, a couple of “sirs,” and rich guys that he enjoyably brought to the screen throughout his career.

Charles Coburn’s memorable big screen credits are too numerous to list, but he made important contributions to such enduring classics as John Cromwell‘s Made for Each Other (1939) and Garson Kanin‘s Bachelor Mother (1939). A personal favorite of mine, Preston Sturges’ The Lady Eve (1941) wherein Coburn plays “Colonel” Harrington, father to Barbara Stanwyck’s Jean Harrington, a duo of card sharps adept at swindling the rich, would not be the same without him. The actor followed that Sturges gem with his first Oscar-nominated performance as an irascible tycoon who goes undercover as a shoe clerk at a department store to try to uncover agitators trying to form a union in Sam Wood’s The Devil and Miss Jones (1941). Starring Jean Arthur, Robert Cummings and a slew of fantastic character actors like Spring Byington, Edmund Gwenn, S. Z. Sakall, and William Demarest, you must make time to watch The Devil and Miss Jones if you’ve not seen it. It is bewitching fun.

Coburn and Jean Arthur in THE DEVIL AND MISS JONES

The 1940s served several standouts for Charles Coburn who appeared in 4 to 5 pictures a year in the early part of the decade. Of course, his Oscar-winning performance in Stevens’ World War II comedy The More the Merrier stands tall above the heap. Opposite Jean Arthur and Joel McCrea, Coburn is wonderful as the retired millionaire who finagles his way into a room during the wartime housing shortage. Coburn’s blustering but endearing manner in this film typifies the greatest gift he brought to the movies, by my estimation, and it is hard to resist. Variety agreed with me as of this movie they wrote, “A sparkling and effervescing piece of entertainment, The More the Merrier, is one of the most spontaneous farce-comedies of the wartime era. Although Jean Arthur and Joel McCrea carry the romantic interest, Charles Coburn walks off with the honors.”

Another worthy 1940s turn for Coburn was Ernst Lubitsch‘s Heaven Can Wait in 1943. Here he plays another grandfather and another millionaire with usual memorable flare alongside a stupendous cast led by Gene Tierney and Don Ameche. Once again I must mention Pichel’s Colonel Effingham’s Raid in which Coburn co-starred with Joan Bennett and William Eythe and several other veteran character actors like Donald Meek and Cora Witherspoon. This was a fun discovery.

Charles Coburn received his third Academy Award nomination for what TCM’s Robert Osborne described as a “rip-roaring performance” as a gruff but loving grandfather in the coming-of-age tale told in Victor Saville‘s The Green Years (1946). Following that performance, Coburn’s big screen appearances slowed down significantly. He had signed a contract with Columbia Pictures in 1945, which required only four films in two years. This meant that the actor had more time to return to the stage and to dedicate time to television work, which he did with gusto starting in 1950 as a premiere guest on many anthology series. Still, Coburn made a few notable pictures in the 1950s delighting audiences with a comedic millionaire performance as Sir Francis “Piggy” Beekman in Howard Hawks‘ Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953), a role that could have easily been creepy portrayed by anyone else. He also played against type in John Guillermin‘s murder mystery, Town on Trial (1957), which I must get my hands on.

Coburn with Jane Russell and Marilyn Monroe in a publicity shot for GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES

Coburn’s final screen appearance was in The Best of the Post, an anthology series adapted from stories published in the Saturday Evening Post magazine. The March 1960 episode is titled “Six Months More to Live.” That seems a somber ending to a stellar career, but one to be proud of for many reasons not the least of which is that Coburn appeared in five Oscar Best Picture nominees: Kings Row (1942), The More the Merrier (1943), Heaven Can Wait (1943), Wilson (1944) and Around the World in 80 Days (1956). Only the last of these won, but they were all improved by the Coburn brand.

At the time of his death Charles Coburn was married to Winifred Natzka who was forty-one years his junior. The two were married in 1959 and had a daughter together. The actor’s final acting role was fittingly on stage in a production of You Can’t Take It With You in Indianapolis, Indiana a week before his death at the age of eighty-four. The previous year he had been honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame located at 6268 Hollywood Boulevard. If you ever pass that address be sure to look downward at his star – it was well earned.

A Tribute to Charles Coburn Out of the blue I watched a new-to-me movie the other day about a retired Army Colonel who takes on corrupt politicians in his hometown in Georgia.

[imwithmars]

Flaunt Magazine 2004 interview

David Fincher – “It goes kind of like, ‘How   can you tell when Jared is lying? His lips are moving.’”

Rock & Roles –

Flaunt Magazine, by Shari Roman

December 2004

“This is fantastic,” murmurs Jared Leto as the relentless Moroccan   sun sears destiny into his bronzed, bare skin. He is sweating under his tight  armor. His dark horse, Mateo, quivers beneath him and paws the ground nervously. A signal is given.

Leto howls a great animalistic yowl straight from his belly to the ears of   the gods. There is another howl, then another. Thousands of voices fuse into   one animal cry. A legion of alpha males surges forward to meet the enemy, Leto,   blond hair hair streaming past his shoulders, muscular thighs gripped bareback   on his galloping horse, rides hard into the thick of a bloody combat. His sword   cuts through all who oppose him.

This is the filming of Oliver Stone’s Alexander and the legendary battle of   Gaugamela, Alexander’s greatest victory over the Persians - a turning point   in his conquest of the known world. Stone’s sweeping historical saga charts   the life and the legend of one of the greatest figures in world history. The   story is an epic that is a daring and ambitious as its subject, a relentless   conqueror who, by the age of 32, had amassed the greatest empire the world hade   ever seen.

Through the clouds of dust, Leto can see Colin Farrell as Alexander the Great,   his massive blade slicing into flesh and sinew. There is the director, Oliver   Stone, shouting, moving rapidly behind the camera line. There are hordes of   men bellowing, bleeding, bodies everywhere. On the fringes lurks famed military   trainer and Stone cohort, Captain Dale Dye. Today, the Captain isn’t wearing   his favorite T-shirt emblazoned with the motto: “Pain is weakness leaving   the body,” but Leto needs no reminders.

Leto has always propelled himself into physical extremes to live inside a character.   As the champion runner Steve Prefontaine, he bled his feet to the bone. In the   drug-fueled Requiem For A Dream, he reportedly swore off sex (with then girlfriend,   Cameron Diaz) and lost 28 pounds to play a junky. Then there was Fight Club   (he’d been recommended for the part his friend, fellow pretty boy, Brad Pitt.),   in which he begged to have his angelic face beaten to a pulp by a jealous Ed   Norton to prove his fealty. Suffering, pain, causality, creation through transformation.   Leto has pledged himself above and beyond to those epithets years ago.

“Killing people face to face for a living, that was their job,” explains   a laidback Leto a few months later from a low-key restaurant in Southern California.   It’s early afternoon. His clothing is relaxed and he looks pleasantly tired.

“It’s not jet lag. I’m over that. I just couldn’t sleep.” It’s not   due to time spent with his (purported) new, luscious It-girl Scarlett Johansson.   He’s been concentrating on working on some new songs for his band, 30 Seconds   To Mars, taking meetings between rehearsals before he heads off to New York   and South Africa for three months to play another aggressor of sorts - an arms   dealer - in the film Lord of War, with Nicolas Cage and director Andrew Niccol   (Gattaca).

He is still pretty tan, making those pioneering blue eyes even more startling.   His long, blonde warrior-god locks are gone now, dyed and clipped into a light   brown Erik Estrada-style shag for the new movie. But there is still a trace   of the Irish lilt he took on for Alexander. (Aside from gearing it toward Farrell’s   natural tones, Stone’s rationale for the accent was that historically, the Macedonians   were to the Greeks what the Irish have been to the English.) Most of the 15   pounds of muscle weight that he strapped on for the six-month shoot has slipped   from his slim frame. Even so, the intensity of that experience is still on his   mind and in his body.

“The film has plenty of f***ing and fighting and killing and death and   blood. My job was to murder people and stand by Alexander.” who, according   to history, was his best friend since childhood, and his lover.

“Hephaestion, the character I play, and [Alexander] have a really special   connection. It’s a strong, strong relationship. I don’t think there is a term   we have today to define their relationship,” he says, deliberately muddling   around the oft-asked erotic question.

Farrell says, “There was no term for 'bisexuality’. It was just the way   society was. People made love to men and women. It was only later on you had   to pick one side of the fence.”

“But I promise you, in the film,” Leto teases, despite the magnetic   charms of Farrell, and costars Rosario Dawson and Angelina Jolie, who play Alexander’s   wife and mother, “the only kiss I gave out was to my horse. My one true   love.”

He takes the tape recorder and places it gently against his chest, which holds   within it the soul of a man who many have tried to reveal before. “I always   tell the truth. What else do you want to know? What do people really want to   know? What is the truth?” His face is a pure cheeky choir boy dare. “When   have I ever not told you the truth? How can you tell that I’m lying?”

I remind him that the last time we met, he told me he owned three Uzis, that   the first girl he kissed was a 47-year-old tranny named Jorge, that he was 19,   raised by circus performers, and that he studied art at the American University   of Paris for a semester, but was booted out when he wouldn’t give in to the   attentions of the headmaster. And he wouldn’t back down to any of those “facts”.

He laughs. “Really? As Ronald Regan used to say, 'I have no memory of   saying such things.’ ”

Says producer/director David Fincher, who worked with Leto on both Fight Club  and Panic Room, “When it comes to his acting, he is beyond method. He gets  into this whole image of his character. It is interesting how that kind of pain and sacrifice can translate. I mean, look at Requiem. I wish I had 100 Jareds   working for me. He was amazing.

"Jared definitely strives not to be a victim of his genetics. On the films   we did together, he was the guy who is constantly curious, the one you couldn’t bottle up. The one who wouldn’t hit his mark. He was like, 'Hey, I’m living it! Over here!’ But he does like to tell stories. It goes kind of like, 'How can you tell when Jared is lying? His lips are moving.’ ”

Leto, who prefers to see his playful fibbing as a way to keep his private life   private, was born the day after Christmas, 33 years ago, in Bossier City, Louisiana. His mother was an artistic soul, and with his father out of the picture, he and his brother, Shannon (who is also in 30 Seconds To Mars), traveled a great deal while they were growing up. After a stint at New York’s School of Visual Arts, he says, he came to Los Angeles around 12 years ago with a couple hundred bucks in his pocket, no friends, and nowhere to stay. For awhile, he slept on Venice Beach. Then kaboom! a role on television’s My So-Called Life (opposite Claire Daines) and for the next few years, he reigned as a teen pinup - a tag   and a look he has been successfully living down ever since.

According to Leto, “Luck is the residue of destiny.” It’s a phrase   he’s heard which he likes very much. He feels it means that we can get caught up in so many things, but the world has what it has for us. That, in our natural state, everything is the way it’s supposed to be - free and joyous - and that our own insecurities get in the way of all that. It’s an idea which could be   applied to his early life.

“When I was young, all that traveling was exciting,” says Leto. “You   do develop an ability to read people more quickly. You have to learn to adapt to whatever comes along, to survive. Maybe the way I grew up is why I’m drawn to acting, to different characters. From film to film, I’m constantly finding myself, reaching different places outside and inside myself. I want to change, to morph into something else.” To be able to do that for Oliver Stone is a gift, says Leto. “He is one of my f***ing heroes. He is a great man. Present, connected, very physical. I find his way very endearing.”

To work with Stone, he traveled to Morocco, where the oncoming sunset had turned the world orange, into the color of dark rust. But the sky was growing dark, the golden scorpions were scuttling under the rocks, another sandstorm was moving toward the camp, fast.

Within moments, Leto, wearing his usual training gear - a T-shirt, tight shorts,   boots covering his calves - couldn’t see two feet ahead of him. The sand whipped raw against his skin as he made for his tent. Inside, he tightened the flap and listened to the wind howl. He had switched off his cell phone, his e-mail. He hadn’t spoken to anyone in the U.S. for months. Apocalyptic fantasies crowded his brain. Many in the cast had already been horribly sick. There was a virus in the dust. His tent was next door to the latrine and he could hear cast and crew heave by the dozens.

One night, Leto got so sick, he thought he was going to toss a spleen.“I lay in bed for a couple of hours staring at the stars, just breathing really   slow, willing it away. I fell asleep dreaming strange, surreal dreams. When   I woke up, it was gone. That’s the desert.”

Says Dawson, “It was beyond primal, all those men bonding - horse training,   fighting, all buffed up wearing nearly nothing. And as soon as a woman came   on set, the energy was so damn erotic.

"One time Jared came to visit the hotel [where women stayed]. He was so   happy to be there. He got to take a shower, have some proper food.So he’s talking, sitting there, and just sort of adjusting the package, not sexually, but in   this slow, languorous way, like there was no one else around.It was all suited   to his character, but I was like, 'Hey dude…’

"And he was like, 'I’m sorry! We’re out there in our underwear and boots   all the time… maybe it’s got us a little too relaxed.’ Maybe. But it was all   good.” She bats her eyes.“It was wonderful being around that kind of really masculine environment.”

“Oh, Rosario,” responds Leto, “she is so beautiful. Such a great   woman.” He drops his head, smiling, not exactly asking for forgiveness.“Working on Alexander was an amazing experience. It’s all about connectivity. There is an old saying that the greatest leader is the servant of them all. Meaning, you are the most powerful when you are giving.”

“I think that as an artist, in any kind of expression of creation, that   you must have to be in love with the process. It is the most exciting part of the work, and that if you have a desire for greatness, you will have to be willing to f***ing bleed. I think it’s true for me.That’s what drives me.”

He claps his hands over his face. “F***. People are going to read this   and think, 'What the f***? Is weirdo Leto on crack? Hitting the old acid tab again.’ But honestly, it’s what I believe. One of my favorite things about getting older is that my intuition is often wrong.To me, it means I’m uncovering something   new about the world.

[whiiskeys]

— STATISTICS

“APPROACH THAT ONE AT YOUR OWN RISK. SHE SHOULD COME WITH A CAUTION SIGN.”                                       — A WISE BASTARD WHO LEARNED THE HARD WAY 

BASIC INFORMATION.

FULL NAME: Virginia May Crowder — nicknamed NIA since childhood.

NICKNAME(S): To those who are familiar to her, RYE is her chosen name. Otherwise, she’s strictly WHISKEY or MS. WHISKEY (depending on how formal the situation is). To a lucky (very) few, she’s Nia. If she allows you to call her by her given name, you’re in.

AGE: Thirty-eight.

D.O.B.: March 7th, 1980.  

HOMETOWN: Dertosa, California.

CURRENT LOCATION: Detrosa, California.

ETHNICITY: White (primarily Irish) on her father’s side. Black on her mother’s (Ethiopian).

NATIONALITY: American.

GENDER: Cisgender female.

PRONOUNS: She/her.

ORIENTATION: Bi(romantic/sexual).

RELIGION: None. There was no mention of God in her household, and she sees no reason in crawling to him on her knees now.

POLITICAL AFFILIATION: Independent, though she seldom participates in politics.

OCCUPATION: Co-owners of Vices (and, by extension, Forbidden Vices).

LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: Lives in a comfortable loft in the city. She likes the bustle, the energy, the noise, and would be hard pressed to give that up in favor of the seclusion of the suburbs. She grew up in a house with quite a bit of property, and she now associates the quiet with unnerving memories — namely, the one that got her father taken away from good.

LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: English, a small amount of Spanish.

ACCENT: The slightest hint of a Georgia twang, picked up because she mimicked her father when she was younger. Because she lived a relatively sheltered life, only exposed to California kids during school hours, she learned to speak like her Southern parents.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.

FACE CLAIM: Ruth Negga.

HAIR COLOUR: A deep, near-black brown.

EYE COLOUR: Chocolate brown.

HEIGHT: A misleading 5′2 (her presence makes her appear much larger).

WEIGHT: A sinewy, muscled 120 lbs.

BUILD: Strong and sturdy, like a gymnast. Her muscles are short-twitch, compact, made for sprinting. She can pack one hell of a punch, and her kicks could definitely knock a jaw off its hinges. There’s nothing diminutive about her.

TATTOOS: None.

PIERCINGS: One in each ear.

CLOTHING STYLE: If she’s trying to project an air of professionalism, she’ll go for something simple but with a bit of flair — like a dark suit with a bold shirt underneath, or a classic suit in a vibrant color (since she doesn't mind some attention). Otherwise, girl vacillates between dresses and beanies, between jeans and a fringed motorcycle jacket and something a little more girly. Her Doc Martens and moto jacket are definitely her prized possessions, however.

USUAL EXPRESSION: Relatively neutral. She’s not an asshole right off the bat; more than anything, she’s efficient. She’s not going to waste time on small talk, and you better not waste hers.

DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS: The beauty marks that spot her face, like a smattering of stars. The free way she walks, hips swinging. Her voice, which is loud and commanding without any effort. Her stare, which can morph from warm to ice-cold within seconds (a trick she inherited from her father).

HEALTH.

PHYSICAL AILMENTS: Only the occasional splits in her knuckles or pulled muscle from running or boxing (her two chosen exercises in order to remain strong enough to defend herself).

NEUROLOGICAL CONDITIONS: None.

ALLERGIES: Cats. Get those fuckers away from her.

SLEEPING HABITS: Consistently sleeps about five hours a night. There’s simply too much to be done, too many dreams that need capturing, too many ideas that need to be implemented. She can’t afford to waste nighttime hours — the day is short enough as it is.

EATING HABITS: Much more irregular. Often she foregoes meals in favor of something on-the-go, or something in liquid form (i.e: her favorite dark beer, or even a cabernet if she’s feeling fancy). However, she is partial to a good mac and cheese — her mother’s was her absolute favorite as a child.

EXERCISE HABITS: Runs six miles each morning, every day, without fail. Similarly, she tries to get a couple matches at the boxing gym, or at least knock a few out on a bag. She has a lot of frenetic energy, and a lot of aggression that she tries to keep at bay, so the physical activities are necessary parts of her day.

EMOTIONAL STABILITY: Rye probably ranks a 10/10 on emotional stability, whereas Nia herself is somewhere around an 8. She has her moments, but she generally manages to keep herself neutral, mild, and unaffected. In truth, she’s father sensitive about certain things, and she’s definitely got a soft interior when it comes to her fellow Drinks. She is joyful when around them, and loves to witness their happiness. Anything happens to them, and she’ll go into efficient Amy-Dunne-frame-a-motherfucker-for-my-murder mode. She’s capable of it, too.

SOCIABILITY: Rye is truthfully a social being, though that doesn’t necessarily extend to everyone. Again, it’s her fellow Drinks that she most prefers (and a select few in particular). Though she doesn’t necessarily tell them, she certainly demonstrates her love for them. She’s a total mama bear.

BODY TEMPERATURE: Despite all her energy, she’s usually cold. It’s like her body knew she would constantly be running around, covering this problem or that, and so gifted her with superhumanly cool blood in order to keep her from sweating profusely. When she’s stationary, her body goes into shock — it demands a blanket, heat, something. She likes to curl up around a fire.

ADDICTIONS: Does moving count? She can’t stop and sit still. Other than that, nothing. She doesn’t allow herself to get too addicted to anything — everything is okay in moderation.

DRUG USE: None, besides the occasional melatonin when her mind simply won’t cease buzzing.

ALCOHOL USE: Regular, but nothing excessive. Definitely not beyond the one-drink-a-night on average, despite her work.

PERSONALITY.

LABEL: The Ambitious, The Mafia Princess, The Pariah, The Loyalist.

POSITIVE TRAITS: adaptive, creative, committed, efficient, determined, flexible, honest.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: aloof, bull-headed, blunt, obsessive, rude, disinterested, distant.

GOALS/DESIRES: To continue to run Vices efficiently, providing a good working environment for her employees (and a positive experience for her customers). Additionally, she wants to expand business, make it even more of a spectacular — she has a few ideas about some underground operations, but she’s keeping that hush hush so far (until she can sway Moonshine over to her side — quite a feat)

FEARS: Failure.

HOBBIES: What are hobbies? Girl is always working.

HABITS: Picking at her cuticles. Absently gnawing on her lip. Leaning her head against her hand; cocking it sideways. Going glassy-eyed when someone bores her (she can’t help it!) Stopping people when she feels they’re wasting her time. Speaking bluntly, which can often come across as rude. Cutting to the chase. Smacking people who are close to her on the shoulder, or otherwise getting physical with them. Laughing too loud.

FAVOURITES.

WEATHER: A warm seventy-five degrees. Alternately, nighttime and storming. She loves a moody sky, smeared with dark blues and grays.

COLOUR: She doesn’t really have a favorite, but blue’s a good one. Purple, too.

MUSIC: Classic rock. Give her some Nirvana and she’s good to go.

MOVIES: The movies from her childhood. Other than that, she doesn’t really watch TV.

SPORT: Give her MMA and she’ll go hog-wild. She’s also partial to Basketball (go Golden State).

BEVERAGE: Despite her name, she rarely enjoys a whiskey. Instead, she’ll opt for a simple Belgian beer or a Cabernet.

FOOD: Mac and cheese. That is all.

ANIMAL: Dogs. She wants one of those fucking Labradoodle things in spite of herself.

FAMILY.

FATHER: Virgil Joe Crowder / Seventy-eight / Infamous Dertosa crime lord (currently imprisoned with over a dozen life sentences).

MOTHER: Aisha Dawit / Sixty / Housewife.  

SIBLING(S): Julius Beau Crowder / Forty-three / who the hell knows? Not Nia.

CHLDREN: N/A.

PET(S): N/A.

FAMILY’S FINANCIAL STATUS: Wealthy and then, just as swiftly, impoverished.

EXTRA.

ZODIAC SIGN: Pisces.

MBTI: ESTP.

ENNEAGRAM: The Achiever.

TEMPERAMENT: Sanguine.

MORAL ALIGNMENT: True neutral.

PRIMARY VICE: Greed.

PRIMARY VIRTUE: Diligence.

ELEMENT: Fire.

[sundownermusic-blog]

How To Sing Bluegrass

The Best Way To Learn Bluegrass Singing

Bluegrass singing is a type of American roots music but has many elements similar to American traditional folk music. The Bluegrass musicians, though, consider themselves to be Roots musicians and this genre is basically a more modern form of American folk music. Bluegrass singing was named by the legendary Bill Monroe, the father of Bluegrass, and he also named his band, ‘The Blue Grass Boys.’ Some other great artists include Alison Krauss and the Union Station, Lester Flatt, Earl Scruggs, The Stanley Brothers, etc.  

This style of singing developed in the 1940s and has been very popular since. It usually involves the use of acoustic stringed instruments. Mandolin, acoustic guitar, banjo, and harmonica are some of the most commonly used instruments. It adapts its style from various genres including the Appalachia style, English folk, Scottish folk, Country, and other such genres. The influence of all these genres was due to the fact that Bluegrass singing developed in the Appalachia region where the English, Irish, and the Scottish settled thereby, bringing their own form of music from their homeland. The mix of these newly introduced styles with the one that developed locally gave birth to Bluegrass and in spite of many contributors, this style of music came out as distinct and catchy.

Understanding the essentials of Bluegrass singing

To learn and to master Bluegrass singing, it indeed becomes important to understand what constitutes it and what makes it different as a form of music. It does not exclusively apply for this genre but to understand the subtle differences between the different styles of music, it becomes necessary for a musician to learn the elements of a particular genre. Even the greatest never stop learning and by knowing about the music someone is interested in, it only increases creativity, understanding, and improves rhythm.

·       Bluegrass singing has its very own phrasing, frequently with words sung ahead of the beat. Phrasing is simply the act of fitting words into the lines of a song. The beginners often commit the mistake of singing the song on the beats because they rely too much on the verse and do not actually listen to the song. It is important to listen to the song and if possible, a vocalist should try copying the singer before introducing their own variations to the song.

·       One of the most important elements of any genre of music is the pitch. It is the frequency within which a vocalist sings. The Bluegrass singers do not really need to vary their pitch from time to time but this element does not lose its essence, nonetheless. They are required to sing in a louder voice with their pitch in control.

·       Another essential element is the tonal nature of one's voice. Though it entirely depends on the person’s characteristic voice, it can be varied with great practice. Some of the greatest vocalists are born with a great voice or they mold their voice into perfection. The tonal quality required basically involves a bit of nasal sound as well.

·       As songs are meant to convey something, they must be articulated well or there is no use of singing it in rhythm. Articulation refers to the clear utterance of words. Since it is entirely different from various genres such as mumble rap, the Bluegrass singers need to be articulate and should be able to convey the lyrics to the audience. This form of singing developed in the rural areas and hence, a southern accent can make it sound very authentic.  

These form some of the basic elements of Bluegrass singing and other elements such as the volume of singing, style, etc. can be learned through experience. Once a vocalist is thorough enough with the basics, they will know how to bring variations and yet keep the authenticity of the genre.        

How to sing like a Bluegrass singer?

There are a few people on the internet that can be very useful when it comes to genuine singing strategies. Various online tutorials, guides, music channels and Bluegrass singers themselves can help in learning a lot. That being said there are a few things to remember. Partially, a person’s hereditary qualities will tend to influence where their vocal rangelands. With training and proper method, one ought to almost certainly broaden their vocal range in both the directions; however one cannot simply reach a louder voice range from a lower range. Hence, it really does not matter in whatever range a person sings, they should practice hard enough to strengthen other essentials and they will do well enough.

What certainly matters is how well a person is able to enunciate the words. Many Bluegrass singers have focused more on the articulation of words that range. Del McCoury naturally had a high voice and many try to sing like him but they cannot and there are others who try to forcefully copy the southern accent and fail miserably. Other legendary singers like Bill Monroe used a high falsetto sometimes but also sang in his natural voice which was in the lower range. Vocalists like Lester Flatt and Clyde Moody had a calm tenor voice. Hence, it all comes down to practicing range and pitch and being articulate. Enunciation plays a great role in Bluegrass singing.

Therefore, in spite of its distinct nature as a form of music, Bluegrass shares most of its elements with other forms of music. It holds great value as it forms a part of the roots music which ran concomitantly with the American folk music revival. Roots music is known by its name because it gave birth to many modern forms of music genre, and the old genres which importantly form the Roots music still hold great value in the hearts of music enthusiasts. If a person is on the journey of understanding and learning this type of singing, they will learn a lot about music as this classic and mostly, chirpy music has a lot to teach and also, it has a lot left to be explored.        

[jmuo-blog]

New Post has been published on https://jmuo.com/a-guide-to-sherry-varieties-everything-you-need-t/

A Guide to Sherry Varieties: Everything You Need t...

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[Photographs: Vicky Wasik, unless otherwise noted]

Spain boasts some of the world’s most renowned drinking traditions. Depending on where you are, you may be enjoying a gin and tonic, tomando un vermút (“taking a vermouth”), or sipping the country’s other beloved fortified wine, sherry. And if you’ve been to an American cocktail bar in the past five years, you may have noticed that sherry is all the rage this side of the pond as well.

What Is Sherry?

The word sherry is the English name for the Spanish Jerez, which refers to Marco de Jerez, the viniculture area in the westernmost region of Andalucía, in southern Spain, where grapes for sherry are grown. Sherry production is regulated by Spain’s Denomination of Origin (DO) system—equivalent to the protocols that exist in France for Champagne, or in Italy for Chianti—to ensure that only fortified wines made within a specific region, following specific procedures, are labeled as sherry. In addition to specifying the region in which the grapes must be grown, the DO ensures that the wines have been aged using a solera system (we’ll get to that later) within the famed “sherry triangle,” the vertices of which are the cities of Jerez de la Frontera, El Puerto de Santa María, and Sanlúcar de Barrameda.

A vineyard in highly desirable chalky albariza soil. [Photograph: Courtesy of the Consejo Regulador de las Denominaciones de Origen]

Before we get into the specifics of sherry production, though, let’s start by clearing up a major misconception: Not all sherry is sweet. Though you may be most familiar with cream sherry, the syrupy, old-school post-dinner drink is just one of many sherry styles, the majority of which are actually dry, sometimes verging on savory. Drier varieties, like Fino and Amontillado, have more in common with wines than with digestifs, while sweet sherries, like the delightfully raisin-y Pedro Ximénez (PX), are complex sippers (I also enjoy mine splashed over some ice cream). I’m hard-pressed to think of a sherry style that doesn’t make an excellent addition to cocktails.

“What’s fascinating about sherry is that there’s so much range,” says Chantal Tseng, a Consejo Regulador–certified sherry educator and bartender at The Reading Room in Washington, DC. “You can’t think about sherry without thinking of 3,000 years of history, time, place. You can go from town to town and see that each town has so much of its own personality [bound up] in sherry.”

Tseng explains that all sherry is made using only white grapes, with the dry styles coming from palomino fino grapes and the sweet styles using moscatel and Pedro Ximénez grapes. Sherry wineries, called bodegas, age wine in one of two ways, depending on the characteristics of the grape and the intended result. Fino and Manzanilla sherries are subjected to biological aging, in which flor, a layer of naturally occurring yeast, creates an anaerobic environment that reduces glycerol content and boosts savory notes of almonds and herbs. Meanwhile, Amontillado and Oloroso sherries—which often employ heavier, fuller-bodied musts—undergo oxidative aging, in which the wine comes in contact with the air, allowing for a subtle sweetness and generally darker color.

[Photograph: Courtesy of the Consejo Regulador de las Denominaciones de Origen]

Once the intended type of sherry is chosen, the producer uses a strict aging structure known as the criaderas-and-soleras system, which involves a pyramid-like stacking arrangement of the aging casks based on vintage: The oldest tier of wines is on the bottom, and the newer ones are on top. Some wine is periodically removed from each of the various casks and replaced with new wine in a fractional blending process of “taking and adding,” thereby blending various vintages at different points in the aging process to create consistent bottlings.

But the allure of sherry isn’t just its quality, or the intricacies of its production; it’s the drinking traditions associated with it. “Sherry hour is a way of life,” says Tseng. “You walk in and you have your Fino, your hams, and your olives. You’ll snack and talk for a wonderful amount of time. It’s something places in the US often try to re-create.”

Ready to dive in? We asked Tseng to break down the major styles and share her picks for each category.

Fino

The driest of the styles, Fino is biologically aged under flor (the yeast that forms a layer to prevent oxidation) and matured for at least two years in barrels, usually oak. The best Finos, bottled at between four and seven years, are pale in color and typically offer strong notes of minerality, with hints of almond, oak, and sometimes even vanilla.

Valdespino “Inocente”: Tseng calls this unique sherry her go-to for its “overall luscious, savory, and bright mouthfeel.” Valdespino, one of the oldest bodegas in Spain, does things the old-school way: The palomino grapes are sourced from one high-altitude vineyard, and the wine is fermented using indigenous yeasts in 600-liter wooden casks of American oak. The minerality and salinity are higher than in other Finos, while the acidity is lower.

González Byass “Tio Pepe” Fino en Rama: Tio Pepe is one of the most popular sherries in Spain, and the world. This limited release of the flagship is meant to highlight the wilder, direct-from-cask expression of Fino sherry: crisp, dry, and bursting with bready aromas. “The term en rama refers to minimal fining or filtration and cold stabilization before bottling so that the wine is as direct from the cask as possible,” says Tseng. “Typically released in the spring, when the flor is at its strongest, this sherry has a very bright, floral nose, with a much fuller body of herbs, bread, and apples.” Because of its minimal filtration, this sherry has a cloudy quality.

Manzanilla

A close cousin of Fino, Manzanilla is produced in roughly the same manner, with one exception: It must be matured in the seaside city of Sanlúcar de Barrameda. This proximity to the ocean and its saltwater winds often gives it coastal qualities, including higher salinity and a lighter body. “The way the winds come off of the ocean affects the breakdown of yeast in the wine,” explains Tseng. “There’s stronger growth of flor in the barrel-aging of the wine. It eats out the sugar, oxygen, and glycerol, so you can get a very light-bodied wine.”

La Cigarrera: A standard-bearer for the Manzanilla category, this fine sherry is aged between four and five years and offers lots of salinity, with notes of citrus fruit and apple, accented by a smoky edge. Given the small size of the family-owned bodega, only 11,000 cases of La Cigarrera Manzanilla are produced each year. Pro tip: If you’re ever in Jerez, Tseng suggests paying the bodega a visit for excellent tapas to go with your sherry.

Hidalgo La Gitana “Pastrana” Pasada: One quirk of sherry is the range of intermediary styles. This one, a Manzanilla Pasada, is a Manzanilla that’s aged a bit longer, about 12 years, breaching oxidation—the point at which flor can no longer survive—to start becoming an Amontillado. The result is a Manzanilla with more yeasty, bready notes and a bit more body and structure. It’s also unique in that the grapes used are sourced for a single, acclaimed vineyard, called Pastrana, located between Jerez and Sanlúcar de Barrameda.

Amontillado

Amontillado is what happens to a Fino or Manzanilla when it continues to age after the flor dies off, at which point it can interact with oxygen. As the sherry base oxidizes, it takes on a nuttier character and a fun savory element—notes of peanuts and hazelnuts are good indicators—along with a dry, salty-caramel quality.

Lustau “Los Arcos”: “This is the first sherry that made me fall in love with Jerez,” says Tseng. “This is on the fuller side of the category, with an almost Christmas spice and brown, nut-bread character.” Lustau is one of the most recognizable sherry brands stateside, and its Amontillado is an excellent exemplar of the style. You’ll find a copper color with notes of almond and dates. Serve it chilled with roasted nuts, cheese, and cured meats for a picture-perfect tapas hour.

Hidalgo La Gitana “Napoleon”: Fragrant and evocative of its seaside aging, this pale-amber-colored sherry offers Fino dryness with coffee notes and a briny quality that stands up beautifully when paired with heavier meats and, of course, aged Manchego cheese.

Valdespino “Tio Diego”: Tio Diego is a standard in the Amontillado family, made with grapes grown in chalky soil from the Macharnudo vineyard. Fuller in body, with a long-lasting finish, it spends almost 10 years under flor and another five to six years aging oxidatively. “I find this wine so adaptable with so many cuisines, with its bolder nutty and savory notes,” says Tseng.

Oloroso

Oloroso sherries are aged primarily without flor. They go directly into the solera system with a higher alcohol content—a level at which flor does not grow—and are sweeter and fuller-bodied. Oloroso means “fragrant,” and, true to their name, these sherries are bursting with aromas and flavors that range from dried fruit to leather, tobacco, and wood. Though less dry than the Fino and Amontillado varieties, Olorosos are still dry overall, but with a rounder mouthfeel and light sweetness.

Emilio Hidalgo “Villapanés”: According to Tseng, nearly 20 years of age on average gives Villapanés “more octane and dense structure, with a very dry and long finish.” Produced with grapes sourced from a historic family estate, Villapanés is aged briefly under flor before its oxidative-aging period. The resulting sherry has a rich mahogany hue and notes of almonds, figs, and caramel.

Gutiérrez Colosía “Sangre y Trabajadero”: From the Atlantic Ocean–facing El Puerto de Santa María, this sherry is aged around 12 years on average. “In many ways, this is my ideal for an Oloroso,” says Tseng. “The body has structure and warm, nutty layers. The flavors are rich and nuanced and assertive.” The sherry comes from the town of Jerez; the name, “Sangre y Trabajadero,” nods to the butchers and working-class folks who drank it in the 19th century. You’ll find dried apple and hazelnut within its fragrant dryness.

Palo Cortado

Another in-between category of sherry, Palo Cortado is the least defined and trickiest to nail down. Often described as having the nose of Amontillado with the body of an Oloroso, Palo Cortados typically have aromatic nuttiness, a honeyed quality, and a thicker texture than an Amontillado. But they’re still dry, with less than five grams of sugar per liter.

Hidalgo La Gitana “Wellington” VOS: Sourced from wine once intended for use as Manzanilla sherry, this sherry offers a nectar-like quality with a creamy texture and a delightful palate of sea-salt caramel, toffee, dried apricot, orange blossom, and honey. The average age is 30 years.

González Byass “Apostoles” VORS: Apostoles is a richer, older, and sweeter blend of Palo Cortado and PX sherries. “If the Wellington is nectar, the Apostoles is ambrosia,” says Tseng. Expect a full, nutty, honeyed complexity laced with notes of dried dates, figs, and cocoa in this dark-amber pour.

Sweet Sherries

Sweet sherries are known by their grape varietal rather than a specific style. Pedro Ximénez sherries make up the lion’s share of this category, with a few Moscatels here and there, as moscatel grapes prefer a different, chalkier type of soil. Pedro Ximénez sherries have a higher natural acidity and sugar content due to their fuller, plumper, and thinner-skinned grape. After harvest, the grapes are left to dry out and become raisins. These concentrated sugars are then fermented, which converts them to alcohol, and the resulting wine is blended and aged oxidatively using the solera system.

Cesar Florido “Dorado”: “Cesar is the Moscatel king,” says Tseng. “He maintains one of only two producers in the beach town of Chipiona, where the sandy soils are ideal for moscatel.” Enjoy Dorado after a meal, and you’ll encounter flavors of golden raisins, lemongrass, apricots, honey, and white flowers.

Equipo Navazos “Casa del Inca”: Sourced from the Montilla bodega of Pérez Barquero, this bottle is full of burnt sugar, dates, and sultanas, with a rich marriage of spices and hints of saffron.

Blends and Creams

Typically pairing Oloroso with one of the sweet varieties, blends come in a wide range of profiles and combinations. It’s worth noting that cream sherries were once the most popular category of them all. To produce cream sherries, the blended wine is moved into its own separate solera system for further aging.

Williams & Humbert 15 Year Old Oloroso Especial “Dry Sack”: “This house boasts the largest warehouse for wine aging in all of Spain, and they are king when it comes to oxidatively aging sweeter blends,” says Tseng. For this “Dry Sack” recipe, the bodega blends Amontillado with Oloroso and PX—all aged for an average of 15 years. Expect Christmas spices and rich, dark-bread character. “It’s hard not to love,” Tseng adds.

Lustau “Capataz Andrés” Deluxe Cream: Moscatel meets an Oloroso/PX blend for an intriguing green-golden wine that brings together caramel, apricot, and peach aromas with flavors of spiced apple and coffee. It’s sweet for sure, but it’s rounded out with a balanced profile.

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[vileart]

Lost in Dramaturgy: Marion Geoffray @ Edfringe 2017

LOST IN TRANSLATION: A BILINGUAL JOURNEY. 

by Théâtre Sans Accents

4 - 28 August, 16:00 

Institut français d’Écosse – Venue 134

A bilingual play directed by Edinburgh-based French actor Marion Geoffray on expat life and multiculturalism

PREMIERE at the Institut francais d’Ecosse’s Vive le Fringe! 

Vive le Fringe! is presenting a new piece of theatre devised by Marion Geoffray (Théâtre Sans Accents) based on her own experience as a French expat living and working in Scotland. Lost in Translation, A Bilingual Journey is a multilingual show incorporating French, English, Occitan and Gaelic, which will take audiences on a disorienting European journey.

In her new play, Lost in Translation: A Billingual Journey, Marion Geoffray depicts bilingualism as an inner process and a personal journey across language and culture, from her native South of France to her new home, Edinburgh. Her experience is similar to that of many expats currently living in Scotland, questioning what it means to speak different languages and how each of them carries its own cultural mindset.

CAST & CREATIVE

Performer and Concept Marion Geoffray

Director Marcus Bezley

Scenography Lucile Pages  

Graphic Designer Thomas Durham 

Gaelic Consultant Ann Paterson

Photographer Ludovic Farine 

LISTINGS INFO

Show Title Lost in Translation:  A Bilingual

Journey

Company Théâtre Sans Accents

Category Theatre

Age: Universal

Date August 4- 28 August 2017 

(not 7, 14, 15 & 22) – 16:00  

Running time: 60 minutes

Tickets £8 (£6) 

Box Office 0131 225 53 66 or

www.edfringe.com  

What was the inspiration for this performance?

Lost in Translation: A Bilingual Journey is the result of my own personal and professional experience as a bilingual artist and individual living in the UK. It's mostly based on real events relating my own journey through languages and British culture up until now, residing in Scotland. I was also interested in demystifying language learning and the emotional and cognitive process of being lost in translation.

Is performance still a good space for the public discussion of ideas? 

I don't see any better place! A performance is a very sensory and intimate experience despite the format and convention attached to it. Regardless if it's good or not, a performance will stay with you and shape the way you see the world around you. I like the fact that it's a gathering, a communion and a debate all at once. I wish though it would be more accessible and fair to all, that it wouldn't be so neglected in the education curriculum and that there would be more space for discussion post shows to enable this public discussion of ideas.

How did you become interested in making performance?

From an early age, I was always interested in making stories, getting dressed up and the idea of living a thousand lives. As I grew older, I started to get involved in a local theatre group and then it became obvious that I needed to make this passion a career. It's only when I moved to the UK at the age of 20 and started training as an actress that I drew the parallel between the acting performance and the social performance that is speaking a foreign language on a daily basis. 

From that point, the two became intricately intertwined and making performance just became part of my identity. I often tell participants in my workshops that you don't dress, move, sound or even see the world the same way when you live abroad. It is something that is quite puzzling and that makes me want to explore it further.

Is there any particular approach to the making of the show?

The show was co-devised with the director, Marcus Bazley. I find devising a more organic way to approach stage work. As a non-native English speaker, it is very important for me to surround myself with both natives and non-natives to get a good grasp of the language and the culture. Marcus is English and fluent in French, I am French and fluent in English. 

Because other languages were involved in the story-making, I struggled at first with the idea to write a script and pinning ideas down. Instead, we locked ourselves in a rehearsal space for a week, made mood boards, tried ideas out straight onto the stage and just bounced off each other. We adopted a chronological approach from my childhood until now and just let ourselves share anecdotes and travel. It was draining but very fulfilling. 

In the end, we had all those blocks of life and it was just a matter of assembling them. We were very much inspired also by our (bad) school experiences of language learning with audio guides/lessons and the fact that the language we were taught had nothing to do with the real language that was spoken in the country.

Does the show fit with your usual productions?

This is Theatre Sans Accents' first production, we created the company in January 2016 with exactly this aim: producing exciting and original pieces of theatre by bilingual artists accessible for everyone. It completes and implements what we do the rest of the year with our outreach programme and workshops. 

We hope that many more productions will be created after this one. Lost in Translation... is a good example of what we do and what we are and due to the nature of the show, and will keep changing and evolving as we go along.

What do you hope that the audience will experience?

I hope that they will get lost in translation at some points and then find themselves again. The show despite being my own personal journey is very relatable. 

So far, audience members said they could relate to it and identify with the character even though they didn't necessarily understand at first the language spoken, it's more about a sensory and emotional experience. I also hope they will feel part of this journey rather than just a spectator. 

What strategies did you consider towards shaping this audience experience?

We wanted the show to be as interactive and participative as possible without turning into a lecture or a workshop. So improvisation and using audience on stage quickly became a central point of the show, we thought of it as a dialogue focusing on different ways to communicate with each other. That's why the performance in itself is a bit of a hybrid, borrowing from various theatrical genres because we wanted it to reflect the fast moving nature of language and human interactions.

From her childhood in Languedoc speaking Occitan (Romance language spoken in Southern France) to the challenge of learning Gaelic, Marion progressively finds her voice until she reaches the shores of Old Albion, where myths and fantasies meet reality. Along the way, she gets to grips with clichés and stereotypes which make up both French and British popular culture.

In addition to performing her show, Marion’s company Théâtre Sans Accents will organise theatre workshops to explore languages as a dynamic and adaptable form. It will also provide an opportunity for audiences to meet the artist and learn more about her acting techniques.

The workshops will be held from 18.00 to 19.30 on 11, 18 and 25 August in the Vive le Fringe! Bistrot (Venue 134 – 13, Randolph Crescent EH3 7TT).

INSTITUT FRANÇAIS D’ÉCOSSE 

Founded in 1946, the Institut français

d’Ecosse is the Scottish outpost of the French Embassy in the United Kingdom. It is part of the worldwide ‘Institut français’ network designed to support and promote French and local culture by encouraging cross-cultural exchange and presenting the best of French culture. The Institut français d’Écosse’s activities include French courses, talks, live music and theatre performances, film screenings, library collections, kids activities and festivals.

THÉÂTRE SANS ACCENTS  

​Based in Edinburgh, Scotland, Theatre Sans Accents (TSA) is an emerging and ambitious theatre company which creates exciting and original pieces of theatre beyond cultural and language boundaries. 

Our societies nowadays are more cosmopolitan than ever and, rich of this diversity, they create new identities and languages that are worth expressing and exploring. Theatre as a method of language learning is a relatively recent discipline that academics have been researching for the past thirty years. TSA believes that both the creative and linguistic process can be mutually beneficial to the actor and the individual and provide fast and effective results.

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[anglocubano-blog]

Sunday Afternoon Comedy in Havana

One of the things you can do on a Sunday afternoon in Havana is go to a comedy matinee at one of the theatres. We went to Teatro Mela on La Linea in Vedado. The place was packed but it was refreshingly cool and the massive converted cinema had elegant sweeps of what I assume must be simulated white marble. We bought not quite the last tickets and made our way up to the back of the circle. This had a great view of the stage in the distance. That was until the young family that had bought the last tickets sat in front of us. I had once been advised to avoid going into a Belfast comedy club that I passed with small group of fellow visitors and our host. He suggested that even if we could understand the language of the Belfast comedians, the local references and in jokes would be lost on us. So we did not go in probably because my host wanted to take us to his favourite pub instead where you do not have to pay for someone to be your amusing and insightful friend. If I was not able to cope with a Belfast accent, why should I be able to cope with in jokes about Cuban life spoken in rapid Spanish with additional Habanero slang? Had I made a bad choice in coming to this show rather than something more geared to foreign visitors? The question was irrelevant as I was now there and had to go along with the experience. I persuaded myself that it cannot be more incomprehensible than Shakespeare at its most abstruse and I have sat through and ‘enjoyed’ a few of those. The family in front also had young children with them so the show must have something in it for them to enjoy. Perhaps, there would be some visual bits or a familiar songs perhaps that would also be at my level? On the stage, there were two guitar stands and a drum kit alongside some microphone stands so maybe that was a good sign. Very quickly the show began and a well-known TV comedian Kike came on stage. His familiarity won over the audience very quickly as he delivered a topical set of jokes. He was joined by the more famous comedy band ‘Pagola la Paga’- the payment who do parodies of well-known songs as well as comedy. It would not be right to steal their act and give a verbatim account of the jokes like some reviews of comedy acts. More accurately, my Spanish was not up to reporting the actual jokes. Perhaps you had to be there or, more importantly, you had to be a Habanero. In this theatre on this Sunday evening there were jokes about the new US ruling on Immigration that now will stop the preferential awarding of US citizenship to those who reach US soil. This was repeated as a version of the pop song ‘Maria en la playa’ (Maria on the beach).There were jokes about people from Pinar del Rio. If you want to know what these were just remember any ‘Irish jokes’. There were jokes about the way that Havana Police who come from Guantanamo speak with a southern drawl. Another joke was concerned with the influx of Chinese technological goods into Cuba and Kike informed the audience that China was now assembling neighbourhood gossips, who can tell you everything about what your neighbours are up to, to send them to Cuba. This version could do this without you having to go to the back yard fence to find him or her. Maybe, that could be a localisation feature of Amazon’s ‘Alexia’ which actually exists but has not found its way to Cuba as yet as so few people have home access to the internet. The backyard gossip in English comedy was immortalised by Les Dawson and Roy Barraclough who, in turn, were copying a Northern Music hall comic of the thirties. Returning to the subject of web access, the band adapted the famous love song by Polo Montanez about a delicate and pale flower to sing about how precarious WIFI (pronounced ‘WeeFee’) internet connections can be in public places. (The big influx of public WIFI spots is noticeable and people e now adept at spotting the transmitter and finding a place with the best reception even if this means standing on a road traffic island. Later in the show Kike appears on stage as a fashion conscious young black woman and mimics various mannerisms that the audience instantly recognise including an exaggerated shrug of the shoulders and a slow loping gait. This could be a typical ‘mullata' (black girl stereotype but the Kike’s character is also confident, funny and can get her way. Wait, I think that is part of the ‘sassy girl’ stereotype as well. Another sketch mimicked a traditional Cucalambeana which is usually a verbal competition between two singers backed by country music. In this case it is a between advocates for being gay compared with being heterosexual. It tries to be affirmative and affectionate as far as I can tell, but it uses stereotyped mannerisms that would have been the staple of seventies British comedy and some gestures that would not have seen a flicker on a British screen but might have been included in performances in “working men’s clubs’ of the time. How did the young family in front of us cope with all of this? Well this was intended as a treat for the family but the limited number of tickets meant that one of the family had to sit on a parental knee which after a while became uncomfortable for parent and child. At the same time, the talk on stage just went over their heads and I sympathised. After requesting and being taken to the toilets, they found that this was more interesting than what was happening on stage so they repeatedly asked to be taken. This required some adjustment of seating arrangements so children and parents kept popping up and down out of the darkness providing my companions and I our own version of a shadow theatre. Eventually, the parents decided the central strategy to keep the children occupied was with some snacks so the elder daughter went to off with the father for copious supplies so that the parents could watch the show in peace. I always found a resource of chewy sweets was a good strategy with younger children at British pantomimes which can often fail to grab the family audience. You can make what you want of all of this. I am only telling you what I think I saw and heard. It reminded me of comedy show groups of the seventies in the UK. A bit like the Barron Knights perhaps or, perhaps, the now highly popular Mrs Brown who I have heard about but have failed to see, so what do I know? Maybe I am just being a snob about popular culture? @Mike_Blamires