#the worst part is that everone falls for it

[strwberyhearts]

People who can't comprehend that sometimes you have to spend money on things are the worst people I have ever met. Especially the people who act like the massive amounts they spend on shein temu and amazon is the only way they can afford clothing.

[epistaxen]

The biggest hypocrite

Today turns out to be one of my darkest days. I was caught cheating.

I started this blog after getting hurt so bad. It helped me ease my pain and it gave me something to vent out on. But how do you do this if you're the one causing pain? I always take pride of the fact that I want to do good and be a role model to others. And for some time, people look up to me and thanked me for fixing their issues. What do you do if you end up being the person you hate the most?

I ended up destroying something precious due to my selfishness. I can't explain why I do it. Why can't I be satisfied and settled? Why do I want to seek more? Why am I so fucked up?

I'm inclined to think that I'm a narcissist in denial. There's nothing wrong with loving yourself but if other people start to get hurt, that's where one ought to draw the line. I hate myself for being so selfish. I did terrible things to my partner. I lied, I cheated, and forced other people to lie for me. And all she wanted was to love and be loved solely in return. Fundemantally, that's all anyone can ask for. What happened to me?

And the worst part is, I felt numb. I wanted to cry but tears didn't fall out. I'm devastated for what I did but I can't explain why I couldn’t cry. I'm not happy about this. Nobody should. But why can't I cry knowing full well that the other person is crying nonstop? What the fuck is wrong with me?

And then she said it. Those word suddenly sank my heart - "I love you but I am so hurt". Suddenly, tears started to fall. And it does still why I type this. What have I done?

I know she will forever be scarred. This is not the memory I wan't people to remember me by. But I have to man up and face what I did.

I feel that this can still be fixed as she was giving me hints. But I know that it will never be the same. She'll always be paranoid. And she has every right to do so. And I hate making her think twice. She has suffered enough. I didn't want things to end but I know she deserves to be treated better and to love without fear.

I am so sorry to everone who looked up to me. I'm so sorry for disappointing everyone. And most importantly, I'm so sorry sweetie pie for being such a terrible partner. You gave everything your best and treated me well. You were the perfect partner. You were somebody that people ought to settle down with. I am so sorry if I fucked things up. And moreso how you may never end up trusting other people again. I am so sorry I ruined you.

In a perfect world, I would get down on my knees, apologize, be a better person and fix us. But I know you'll forever be haunted by this. You deserve some peace of mind.

Ironically, today is independence day. In a few hours, you'll get to see random facebook posts about independence and freedom. I know for a fact that this is not something I'll be celebrating. And I won't be riding happily towards the sunset. I need some alone time. It's good that I'm working from home now. It would give me more time to think and reflect.

I've been to many breakups in the past. Pain is an old friend. But I never thought it would be worse to be on the hurtful side. Because you have no one else to blame but yourself. You have no one else to hate but yourself.

If people judge me, so be it. I deserve it. For being a terrible person.

I cheated on my girlfriend. I am so sorry.

I need help.

[marvelsimp]

The New Kid: Arrived

The New KId Masterlist

Ch. 4

Genre: Fluff, Angst Pairing: Peter x Lesbian!reader (Platonic duh), Avengers & Reader Warnings: swearing, nerdiness, mentions of homophobia and being kicked out, panic attack, Description: Y/n's birthday continues. Reader’s Powers: Healing, telepathy, and empath. Word Count: 2,217

“Cupcake, please.” says a small voice, Morgan.

This causes the room to erupt in everyone’s laughter including your own.  The group then sings “Happy Birthday” to you and as you blow out the candles you wish that one day your parents will love you enough and that if that doesn’t that you will be okay.

“Morgan,” you say calmly, “You get to pick the first cupcake since you asked so nicely.”

She smiles and jumps up and down. She takes a second but finally picks one. You decide to take the one from the top and very happily take a bite.

“Hey, before everyone splits off,” Peter says, “Let’s get Y/n to open her presents!”

Presents? Seriously? Today was honestly enough. You open your mouth to protest but Peter stuffs your cupcake in your face and leads you to a chair that’s surrounded by gifts. He forces you to sit down just as you get the last bit of icing off of your nose.  “You guys seriously didn’t have to get me gifts, today was enough.”

“Shut up,” Peter retorts.

You put your hands saying, ‘ok fine.’

“Open mine first!” yells Carol.

You blush, you honestly forgot you were still holding it.  You open the bag and inside is a Captain Marvel plushie, you let out a chuckle and get it out of the bag to show everyone. There are a few laughs and aww’s around the room. You look up at Carol who’s grinning and give her a nod of approval which she seems to enjoy.

You next grab a small box it reads ‘The Starks’ and you open it, it’s a bracelet. Tony tells you about its functions and how to use it.  Most importantly, you can get her to send messages although you can’t hear Friday through it.  

The next gift is from Nat and Clint, it’s a few sets of training clothes. She informs you that in a week you’ll start basic combat training, you aren’t too excited but it's better than dying.  That training will also help teach you about the present from the Starks.

Next is a gift from Scott, Hope, and Cassie it’s a beautiful Captain Marvel necklace. You look up at Peter, “So you told EVERONE.”  There are a few nods around the room, and you can feel carol trying not to laugh.  You blush a little harder.

Next is a gift from Sam, Steve, and Bucky as you open it you let out an evil laugh, there’s around Spider-Man pillow. You quickly pull it out of the bag and smack Peter in the face causing him to fall on the floor.  There is an eruption of laughter. “Okay, I like her!” Sam yells.  You look back in the bag and there is a set of matching Spiderman PJ’s.  You get them out and toss a pair to Peter, who is still on the floor.  There were a few ‘awws’ to that one.

“Well,” I’ve got to put this one to bed,” Pepper said standing up.

Morgan pouted.

Pepper picked her up, dismissing Morgan’s protests. “I might come back down once she’s asleep. Happy Birthday, Y/n!”

“Happy Birthday,” waved Morgan who was still very annoyed that she had to sleep.

“Sweet Dreams,” you tell Morgan waving back.  As they get on the elevator you pick up a tiny bag that’s from Ned, when you open it you discover a Deathstar keychain. You tear up a little bit and explain to everyone how you met Peter.  (In case you don’t remember, Y/n first messaged Peter after he posted a picture of the LEGO DethStar.)

Next, you open it from MJ, it has three books in it.  MJ is quick to explain that she wanted to share her favorite but couldn’t pick just one.  You thank her you know how important books are to her.  

Next is a rectangular box from Thor ‘and Loki’ seems to be added later.  In it is a simple yet beautiful dagger, it leaves you a little confused, but Nat offers to teach you how to use it and you accept.  

You still three gifts and one card left. You decide to go on ahead and open up the card, it’s from Rhodey. You open it and it’s just a simple Birthday card signed Rhodey and $20 falls out when you open it.  “Like I said I didn’t know until this morning and I had to come from the west coast.”  His defense makes you smile, and you assure him that you’re pleased.  

Next is a large gift bag from Wanda inside is a large amount of “spa day” items, bath bombs, face masks, candles, etc.  You tell all the teens, including her, that there has to be a spa day.  The girls accept pretty quickly while Ned and Peter are a little more hesitant but accept anyways.  The next gift is from Bruce, it’s a decently large box.  

You start to unwrap it and discover it to be a microscope, you let out an excited gasp.  “I saw yours this morning, it looked ancient so I thought you might enjoy a newer model,” Bruce explains, “We do have some more powerful ones in the lab, but I thought that you might enjoy your own.”  You’re like a kid on Christmas, excited to try out all of your new gifts.

“One more,” Peter smiles handing you a bag.  It’s from him, obviously, you take out the tissue paper and there are two toy lightsabers one has “Peter” engraved on it and the other one has “Y/n.”

“Haha, you nerd!” you giggle out.  You grab yours and toss Peter his. You stand up and turn on your saber. You pause for a second, looking for his approval.   He nods in return.

“I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire.”

“Your new Empire?” Peter replies in the worst British accent you’ve ever heard.

You can’t contain your giggles, neither can Peter or Ned.

“Don’t make me kill you,” you say trying to contain your smile.

Tony has his hand on his head, you can hear him mutter, “Dear god, not another one,” under his breath.

“Anakin, my allegiance is to the republic, to Democracy!”

You start to carefully walk around Peter, “If you are not with me, then you are my enemy.”

“Only a Sith deals in absolutes.  I will do what I must.”

“You will try.” That’s when the very epic battle began, as you fought you both making noises like “Vruummummm” or “Schvrmmmm.”  

You could see Bucky’s concerned/confused face that Steve seemed to be amused at.  You also saw Steve lean down and whisper something in Bucky’s ear which seemed to calm him.  Finishing the battle, you jumped up in the air as Peter pretended to chop off your limbs.  

He laughed and reached his hand out for you to get up.  You accept and he pulls you up.  The crowd is laughing and a few of them are clapping so you and Peter bow which causes them to clap a little louder and a few cheers.

“Imma guess that you’ve never seen Star Wars,” you say to Bucky as you go to reclaim your seat. He just shakes his head.

“Well, that’s a problem,” laughs Peter.

You nod, “That means a movie marathon sometime soon.”

Over the next two hours, the group just hangs out.  You disperse back into smaller groups.  Rhodey and Carol have to leave about 30 minutes after the battle.  They both wish you a Happy Birthday and go back to the west coast or space.  

You’re with the teen group, Wanda and you are the only two who are done with high school, Peter, Ned, and MJ still have a year and a half while Cassie has two and a half left.  Wanda is nice, she could snap any of you in half if needed but you know that she wouldn’t.  Cassie is pretty goofy like her dad; she and Wanda aren’t nearly as nerdy as the rest of the group, but they know enough to keep up.  

“Ok so why do you like the sequels better?” Peter asks, he already knows the answer but wants you to say it.

You let out a nervous laugh.  “Come on, Pete.”

He grins waiting for your answer.

“Fine,” you say lowering your head a little bit in shame. “I don’t like the others as much because of how they sound.”

“What?” Ned breathes out.

“I know! It's just… they sound so weird and fake. I hate it.”

Wanda giggles at your answer, which causes you to smile.

“Y/n, I don’t even know what to say,” giggles Ned.  “Seriously, that’s the reason?”

MJ looks down at her phone, “Oh, shit I got a curfew.”

Ned’s eyes widen, “Me, too!”

You hug them both as they wish you Happy Birthday again.

“I kinda wanna put on my PJ’s,” says Cassie, she, Scott, and Hope are staying the night.

“Yeah,” you say looking at Peter, reminding him of your matching PJs’.

As you and Peter go down the hall to go to your rooms, Peter takes you into his room. “I have one more gift for you,” he says smiling a little. He grabs a box from his desk and opens it.  It’s a lesbian pride flag, you smile and wrap your arms around him.  You’ve never had one before.

Peter shoves you out the door after you separate from the hug. He tells you to put on your PJs.  When you walk into your new room you set your new flag on your desk.  You quickly head to your bathroom and change.  When you step back into your room a surge of emotions rush through you.  You’re so happy that you’re there but all that you want to do is tell your parents.  On your bedside table is a picture of the three of you, it’s one of your favorites.  You pick it up.  It was taken on your first day of high school and you all look so happy.  Why couldn’t they just be here? Why did they have to kick you out? Why? Why did they not love you?  You see your tears drop onto the picture.  

Your angry, you’re so angry that they’re not there.  You just want to hug them and tell them about how great your day was and how fun it was.  You want to just want to be able to collapse into them because of how exhausted you are, but you can’t.  You can’t because they are not there.  They’re not there because they kicked you out.  And they kicked you out because they don’t love you enough to have a lesbian as a daughter.  And do you want to know the worst part of it? You still love them.

You throw the picture against the wall, causing the glass to shatter.  Why couldn’t they just love you are you are? You didn’t decide to be this, you just are.  You can’t breathe. You can’t get any air in it's like the world is You let out a sob.  What parents would decide not to abandon their child because of who they love?

Peter enters with some of your gifts.  He sees the picture on the floor and picks it up, putting it on your desk.  He drops the gifts he is holding and rushes to your side.  Steve and Bucky are behind him with gifts in their arms as well. They were smiling at first but now they’re concerned.  Peter sits down on the bed next to you, his eyes are asking you what’s wrong.  Steve and Bucky quickly set down the rest of the gifts and leave.

“Y/n, what’s wrong?” he looks concerned, sad.  “You gotta breathe.”

“They don’t love me,” you explain in between sobs.  

Peter’s concern turns into anger, he can’t believe that someone’s parents would kick out their wonderful daughter just because she likes girls.  “Fuck them,” he says pulling you into his chest as you sob.  “You are incredible, Y/n. You deserve the world, but they are too stupid and too blind by their stupid ass beliefs to see that.  You are one of the best, kindest, most intelligent people I know and if they don’t see that as worth it then fuck them.”

You let out a small chuckle.  He tells you to follow his breathing and you do.  After a few minutes, you’ve calmed down.  “I still love them.”

Peter pauses for a second.  “Of course, you do,” he sighs, “You’re allowed to love them, they’re your parents.  But that doesn’t mean that they didn’t hurt you or that you can’t hate them.  THEY are in the wrong, not you.  You never forget that you did absolutely wrong and you are not wrong.  You are perfectly you.” He pauses for a second, not because he doesn't know what to say and not because of what he is going to say, he's told you a million times before so it isn't new.  But because of how important it is that you hear it.  “And I love you, I’ll love you enough for both of them and more, Okay?”

“Okay.”  

“Come on,”  Peter says wiping his eyes.  “Let’s go watch a Pixar movie and eat some ice cream.”

Next Chapter

Arrived - deleted scene

[magicalyaku]

I finished reading Dark Rise and uh boy what a ride! 8D I like it. And honestly, I'm still laughing when I think about it. Like when you make a rollercoaster trip in an amusement park and are scared and screaming and thrilled and when you come out you just can't stop laughing? Maybe? I don't do rollercoasters, so I wouldn't know. I actually preordered the book for its cover ("because give me that pretty androgynous boy who looks like a dark prince" was my actual thought process). Yes. But afterwards I read Pacat’s other books and liked them quite a bit, so expectations grew. uAub

Do you know the feeling when at some point while reading you think to yourself "Wouldn't it be funny if ..." and then 200 pages later just that happens? The good way predictions work, not the boring way. It's also pretty nervewrecking when everyone's loyalty and beliefs get challengened every other minute. And literally everone's. Everyone suffers. In a good way. I like pretty boys who suffer prettily. I also really dig stuff like standing up to fate and overcoming the worst enemy by pure power of your will. That part reminded me a lot of good shounen manga. Haah. Suffering, despair and then overcoming it all with your willpower (and friendship possibly)! I love that.

One thing that really struck me was that whole "Let's go all out"-vibe. We have warriors light, so make them superstrong and superbeautiful! And they need a Prophecy and their Destiny! How many times can you say Dark King? Dark King! Dark Kind! And descendants oder rebirth? Let's take both!! And what? You have Lions, so you want a Unicorn, too? Here's one, walking and talking and immortal! I have mad respect for this kind of boldness.

And last but not least, there's the same kind of smart writing and story composition that I already enjoyed in the Captive Prince books. Pieces getting set up and falling into place much later. I approve. I had a great time reading. I hope, volume 2 comes out soon. They better go super saiyan there.

[hiehgiuhdkgdfjhdf]

skank. ☄️💗 vasily 🤕 arden

hi 😳

vasily;

☄️ Does your OC believe in fate and destiny or do they think it’s a load of garbage? Would they ever get this fortune told? What would a fortune-teller tell them about their future?

oh im going to be real im kinda blanking on this but summed up shortly they dont believe in that stuff at all. its a ver "you make do with your own shit" kind of worldview if that makes sense lol theyd think its ur own responsibility not like, a higher power's

i think a fortune teller would look at their future and either go "what the fuck is up with you, man" (if its pre canon) or "oh i see. faggot" (if during canon)

💗 Relationships? Who are their friends, their family relations, lover(s), foes? What sort of personalities really tick them off and what others do they like? Is there anything that’d ruin a friendship for them?

oh im gonna go off topic before getting into their actual relationships for this one im dying to let everone know about vasilys character arc. anyway

prefacing this with YES theyre a terrible person sometimes but they get better. dont worry about it. anyway vasily didnt ever rly bother making any sort of lasting profound relationships (neither platonic or romantic) as a product of how they were raised (family full of hunt avatars and all that) + they didnt care that much anyway. so self inflicted isolation (kind of) + being a hunt avatar makes them super apathetic to most ppl lol. along with the no real humanity/human emotions thing that comes with being an avatar sometimes. which. that changes as they get a group of people they regularly see and actually enjoy being with and it gradually culminates into (vasily staring at himself in the bathroom mirror) oh fuck i have feelings? real?

ANYWAY moving onto the actual question. sorry

vasily has a kind of weird relationship w their parents its. complicated. but as far as siblings or cousins go its fine. his boyfriend is avery <3 they love her a lot even if they have to be fucking constantly vigilant bc she runs off into dangerous shit. as ive said they care abt her a lot but that also goes for their friends but vasily would like, never admit that he'd rather pull his teeth out

judas is vasilys best friend (unfortunate on judas' side) that they stabbed one time but its fine now. they joke bully eachother and hunt together its all good and fun and sexy <3

i used up all my energy to talk about the off topic part of this question sorry everyone

arden:

🤕 What is the worst injury your OC has ever suffered? Do they have any scars or lasting physical reminders of it? Do they get sick often or have any lasting medical conditions?

oh arden definitely has a bunch of cuts and scrapes just bc hes always active n always was as a kid. has a scar on his arm from falling off a tree as a kid. also wears a wrist brace sometimes. but really theres is no "worst" injury ans even if there was he wouldnt acknowledge it arden would just keep on fucking going. someone make him sit down

hes very resilient no one has seen him come down with anything aside from like one day long nausea in years. its a mystery to everyone

avery/judas belong to @/svpportclass (GRABS YOU)

[nightsspentthinking]

How Do You Know - Part 2

A/N: I FINALLY WROTE PART 2 AYEE! Are y’all proud of me now? I’ve just been so busy with school and I didn’t have time. I’m probably gonna fail my test tomorrow cause I wrote this instead of studying but oh well I wanna thank everone that messaged me and requested a part 2, you’re a real one! I suggest reading the first part so this whole thing makes sense. Here’s the link: Part 1. Fun fact: I tried uploading this like 4 times but my laptop kept crashing before I could save the draft so that’s great :))) Anyways, I hope you like this one!

It was as if time had stopped. Jonah couldn’t move, couldn’t talk. He only stared at the kitchen door where you had been standing just seconds ago. Confusion and shock were written all over his face, making it clear he had no idea of what was going on. Your words rang through his head, loud and clear, while he was trying to put the pieces together. And then it hit him. “…break up with (Y/N)” That must have been what set you off. That little part of his speech must have been the only thing you had heard.

Suddenly the room started spinning. Jonah’s vision turned blurry, his ears were ringing and his breathing came out shallow. He saw the guys talking to him but his mind couldn’t comprehend what they were saying. When did they even come in here? It was as if someone had taken over his body, making him lose all senses. His thoughts were racing, going a million miles per hour. He tried to stop his body from shaking but to no avail. Tears were streaming down his face, making it hard to see. There was a deep ache in his chest which finally pushed him over the edge. A hand trying to grab him was the last thing he saw before everything went black.

You were curled up on your couch, surrounded by tissues and stared at the wall blankly. You had run out of tears after crying for hours straight. Now the only thing that was left was the dull pain. You tried distracting yourself but your mind seemed to only focus on the one thing you desperately wanted to forget. You kept telling yourself that you were okay, that this was for the best but you knew you were lying. How could you be okay? You loved this boy with everything you had. The hurt you felt when hearing his words seemed humanly impossible. It was as if your whole world had fallen apart, destroyed by the one person that had made it complete. Jonah was your everything, your forever and always, your first and you thought he would be your last too.

“How could you be so stupid?” You were angry. Angry at Jonah for doing this to you, angry at the boys for playing along but mostly angry at yourself for letting him wreck you like this. You wondered how long he had felt this way, how long he had been faking it. Maybe it was never real to begin with? You thought back to all the memories you had made, the day you had met, your first date, going on adventures in the middle of the night, him teaching you how to play the guitar, slow dancing to random songs in your small dorm room, all the inside jokes, all the laughs you shared, every hug and every kiss. No. That couldn’t have been fake. You knew Jonah better than anyone, you could read him like an open book. You remembered how his face would light up whenever he saw you, the small smile he would wear when you were talking and the love in his eyes whenever he would look at you. Thinking back to the incident, you remembered how excited he had been when he saw you and the way his face fell when you started screaming, the confusion clearly prominent on his face. He didn’t want to break up with you.

The ringing phone next to you brought you back to reality. Zach’s name along with a dumb picture of him flashed across the screen. The boys had been calling you non-stop since you got home but you declined every call. This time though something told you to pick up. “Hello?” Your voice came out quiet and shaky and you mentally cursed yourself for sounding so vulnerable. “Oh god, (Y/N), you finally picked up!” You had never heard Zach sound so stressed like he did in this moment. There were a lot of different sounds and voices in the background, making you wonder where he was. “Listen, Jonah, uhm he- he had a panic attack. After you left he got so quiet and we tried talking to him but he wasn’t responding and then he started shaking like crazy and collapsed onto the floor. We’re at the hospital right now and I’m just- I’m so scared. (Y/N/N), you need to come please. He needs you. We need you” The last part came out in a whisper but you still heard him loud and clear. “I’m on my way” was the only thing you said before hanging up and jumping off the couch.

Zach’s words hit you like a bus. You felt everything and nothing at the same time. Your emotions were going crazy and there was no way to control them. Quickly, you threw on a hoodie, some shoes and grabbed your key on your way out. You didn’t even bother checking your appearance, knowing you looked like death. You sprinted to your car, Jonah the only thing on your mind. Driving as fast as you could, not even bothering if you hit any red lights, you made your way to the hospital. When you walked in you already saw Zach and Daniel waiting at the door for you. Catching their attention immediately you ran over to them and wrapped them in a tight hug. You could see the worry on their faces and their tear-stained cheeks made it clear that they were as scared for him as you were. The three of you walked to Jack and Corbyn and once they saw you approaching, they got up and hugged you too. That’s when the tears started falling again.

You had been sitting in the waiting room for what felt like hours, trying to get comfortable on those chairs. Your crying had stopped but the atmosphere was still tense. “Are you here for Jonah Marais?” Hearing the voice, you all jumped to your feet and looked at the doctor. You only nodded your head, unable to form words. “You don’t need to worry, he is stable. Mr. Marais had a panic attack due to huge stress and passed out. I believe you all know what had caused the stress in the first place. Anyways, he woke up about ten minutes ago and is now ready for visitors. But be careful, don’t overwhelm him.” The doctor gave you a little smile and turned around, leaving to go see another patient.

You just stood there, awkwardly staring at the door. Zach gave you a little push and nodded his head, signalling for you to go in first. You closed your eyes, taking in a huge breath and walked towards the room. You entered and closed the door behind you.

Jonah heard the door close and looked up. Once he realized it was you a huge smile made its way to his face. But it was soon gone when he remembered the events from earlier. He looked at you carefully, wondering what you were doing here. You walked further into the room, stopping directly in front of the bed he was lying in and surprised him by bending down and wrapping your tiny arms around his shoulders. Jonah didn’t hesitate for a second and pulled you down so you were sitting next to him. He nuzzled his head into your neck and breathed in your scent. He didn’t know when he would get to hold you like this again so he wanted to savour this moment.

He pulled away when he felt something wet making contact with his shirt and when he looked at your bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks his heart broke a little. “Don’t you dare do this again, Marais, do you understand me? Do you have any idea how worried we were? We didn’t know what was going on, nobody wanted to tell us anything. I was already preparing myself for the worst. And the boys were so scared, I mean, they wouldn’t admit it but I could tell by the looks on their faces. We thought we would lose you!” He just stared at you, taking it all in. He looked at your cheeks that had red dots all over them from your salty tears, at your nose that was red from blowing it too much earlier, at your lips that were quivering, into your eyes that were still glossy, at your hair that was hastily thrown into a bun and had a few strands falling out and at your fingers that were playing with the hem of his sweatshirt out of habit. He knew he had to tell you. It was now or never.

“I love you.” You froze. Looking up you were met with Jonah’s eyes staring at you. Did I hear right? You thought you were dreaming but judging by the hopeful look on his face it was real. Tears started to make their way down your face again but this time out of happiness. You let out a little giggle and leaned forward “And I love you.” That was all it took. Jonah placed his lips on yours, pulling you into him again. You both smiled into the kiss and only pulled away when you heard cheers coming from the doorway.

“I can’t imagine my life without you. It’s you and me forever, princess.” “I know, Jonah, I know.”