#the-dread-doggo

[crystalvfae]

guess who's sliding back in your DMs

[mxmorbidmidnight]

How is patch doing recently? Deeply troubled. I didn’t know dogs could have that much existential dread god bless.

[jelliclejack]

[hitomisuzuya]

hiiii! hope you've been doing well and having a good christmas season time!!!💞

not sure if you're comfortable with writing this or not but what about wanderer with a s/o who gets overwhelmed and cries very easily during that time of the month? i just really need some fluffy fluff and you're the best at writing it 🥹

wanderer (scaramouche) x fem!reader. fluffy fluff fluff. period woes. comfort. soft scara

aww merry christmas and happy holidays to you and everyone around the world❤️ i cry very easily during that dreaded time 😭

before this happened, wanderer didn't know he would be thanking himself for having incredible foresight to buy one specific thing for you.

ah, your period. wanderer knew he wouldn't quite fully understand the monster (as he liked to call it) that was your period. he hates that he can't just purge it like he could unruly slimes screwing around too close to sumeru city.

wanderer is frozen with wide eyes. there you are, sniffling and crying with a closed light novel in your lap. he'd in a way sensed when your time of the month is coming, but it still gave him whiplash how the symptoms could suddenly rear their ugly heads at any given moment.

he couldn't imagine what it did to you.

your period also genuinely freaks him out. you are bleeding all the time, therefore you are dying. and you are always in so much pain that it hindered even your movements at times.

"why are doing that nonsense?" wanderer bristled, taking your hands off your face so you would look at him. "stop it," he hates seeing you cry. hates it. he can barely handle it.

"bu-but, the main character died at the end," your words wobbled as you sniffled, uselessly brushing tears away only for more to fall from your eyes.

"did you really like the main character that much?" he asked, glancing down at the light novel in your lap. "what was so great about him?" he was going to try and get to the bottom of this, even if he wasn't the best at expressing himself sometimes. he knew he ran the risk of sounding like an insensitive asshole and making things worse.

"no, not particularly. it's just.." you sniffled again, trailing off as your lower lip trembled.

"hm?" wanderer knew he absolutely had to be delicate in approaching this. please, just tell him how to fix it. it's always hard on him seeing you cry.

"his dog must be so lonely now. the main character promised he would come back, and animals have feelings too. i can't imagine the lonely sadness his poor doggo felt realizing his owner, who cared for him since he was a puppy, wasn't coming back," you are crying more tears now. "the main character is an only child, and his parents are dead. who would take his dog and care for him and love him now? it's just so sad," the words came tumbling out of your mouth.

you buried your face in your hands again, and wanderer let you. he knew you didn't like him seeing you cry.

as wanderer slowly processed what you said, he suddenly knew exactly what to do. he immediately turned and strode to his little hidey spot for gifts he'd gotten you. this one in particular was originally to make up for him being an asshole to you earlier in the week. who knew it would come in handy double like this.

you felt something tap the top of your head. "why don't you ask him yourself? he's right here," you opened your eyes to see wanderer holding a soft, plush dog that looked incredibly similar to the dog you are crying about in your book.

"aw, scara he is so cute," you cooed, taking the plush from him and putting it's nose against yours for a moment. wanderer is incredibly relieved that you instantly stopped crying.

"there, now he isn't going to be lonely or sad. see? he looks happy already," wanderer couldn't believe he was referring to an inanimate object like it was actually alive.

but it sure made you smile.

"he can keep you company while i run out and get some things for you. you need a new heating pad, right?" he hated how hooded your eyes looked from being in pain from cramps and body aches. he was already making a checklist in his head. pads, a heating pad. disgusting chocolate, both kinds.

"i can go with you," you started to get up.

"no. no, just stay where you are," he abruptly held up a hand to stop you from getting up. he could tell it hurt you to even move. he wasn't going to have that. he glared at you a little when you opened your mouth to protest.

sighing, he looked down at the stuffed dog in your lap as he grabbed a blanket to put around you. you would be in less pain while he was gone if you were warm. the concept of heating pads taught him that. "ask the mutt to hold down the fort for me," he knew he sounded incredibly silly, but it was worth it to him to see you smile softly up at him and nod.

before he left, you gave him a quick kiss. "thank you, scara. i love him, he is so cute. you are the absolute best," wanderer's vision on his chest lit up.

[lou-struck]

Not me thinking about... Puppy-Parent Katsuki Bakugo being absolutely terrified to bring your new puppy to the off leash dog park near your home. Even though your pup finally has all their shots and are big enough to run around and play with all the other doggos. 

Even since you brought the little furball home, your living room has been its obstacle course, Katsuki used to complain about the way she would leap off the back of the couch and chase its reflection into the floor length mirror, but as time went on he could barley muster up a scowl when talking about them. 

Getting him into the car with you this morning was a feat, in his state of concern, he kept trying to delay the inevitable by hiding the leash, treats, and poop bags. At first, you thought you were losing your mind until you heard the jingle of your car keys in his pocket and he came clean about everything. 

Your reassurances got him into the passenger seat where he now looks down that the little furball shaking with anticipation on his lap and cannot stop himself from petting the little thing. The motion is calming to him, but it cannot cease the sense of dread that is building up like plaque on his heart. 

Unaware of her fathers fear, she preens under his attention and when your little family pulls into the parking lot, her tail starts to wag excitedly when it can see all the other dogs running free. 

Dogs that are much bigger than she is…

Dogs that look like they could just tear her into shreds…

Glancing over at Katsuki you see he is a white as a ghost. You tell him again that everything will be fine and he shrugs it off lamely saying that he doesn't know what youre talking about

But you both know better...

You walk through the gates into the huge park and shut it behind you, you are holding everything your little pup needs, while Katsuki clutches her leash with a death grip. Although it's time, he doesn't want to unclip his little princess. 

The big strong Pro Hero looks to you for comfort as he gathers up the courage to unclip the leash. As soon as the pink leash embroidered with skulls hits the dirt, your little thing takes off in a sprint towards a large pack of dogs completely unafraid.

He doesn't breathe as he watches them race around trying to sniff all the butt’s they can. His palms are sweatier than normal but you still hold his with yours to ground him. 

You watch over them carefully and are relieved to see that all the dogs are playing together nicely. 

There is no big bite

No one is even growling…

Pretty soon the little furball who has captured both of your hearts is leading the pack, chasing the other dogs around like a boss.

You turn your head to say something to Katsuki and although he would never admit it to anyone, you see that there are tears in his eyes.

[cry4mina]

Granite - Part 2 - (Remastered)

Take Me Back To Eden - Nayeon x fem!reader

Word count: 5.2k

Angst/Attempted fluff met with....angst

Summary: Reader is struggling with the emotions that come with uncovering some uncomfortable truths about their relationship with Nayeon.

Tw: Mentions of drinking, reader has unhealthy coping mechanisms, reader is a little stuck in their head (very stuck in their head), spiraling, nausea, cursing, flash backs, food, cheating, panic attacks, crying, Dahmo is present again, a quick mention of Chaeyoung, doggos (the 10th member of twice and his brother make an appearance) If I missed anything pls let me know!

A/N: This NEEDED to be re-written so bad. Like…soooooo bad. Nothing about the story changed! Just sentence structure tweaks and maybe some more descriptive words!

I hope you enjoy! 🖤

The smell of bacon wakes you. Reaching to your right, your hand lands on a cool slick wooden table instead of your soft sheets.

You are immediately upset that Nayeon isn't next to you.

When you open your eyes you’re met with an immediate headache and the realization that you aren’t in your own bed. Vision blurring through morning light, much like the last 12 hours. Colors and shapes that aren’t distinct but there’s a familiarity in the patterns seen by your hungover eyes.

Usually waking to the sweet sound of Nayeon humming in the kitchen to herself, your chest hollows out remembering the simplicity of the previous morning.

Her showering you with affection from the minute you opened your eyes, her switching coffees with you so you could have the perfect cup, the giggles and glances while bathing together…your heart was dissociating down the spiral of what you had with Nayeon.

Physically shaking those thoughts out of your brain like an etch-a-sketch causes the dull ache behind your eyes to sharpen into a searing burn between your temples.

Blinking rapidly to clear the haze in your sights, you let out a groan at how bright the sun is beaming through the large windows in front of you.

You recognize the living room from the neutral tones of the furniture, the Twice posters framed in black hung perfectly, the fireplace roaring to beat out the chilly air, and the hints of light pink everywhere.

Not even needing to see the dog toys scattered throughout the room to know that you’re in Momo’s living room.

The uncomfortable couch you had fallen asleep on was good for sitting and not for sleeping. Shifting around, trying to sink a little deeper between the blanket someone placed on you and the firm cushion below you but the scream of your lower back was enough to keep you placed right where you were.

The sizzle of the bacon gets louder by the second and the clicking of nails on hardwood floors are now present throughout the house. You hear Boo barking for a piece of bacon followed by a loud hiss.

“Shh!” Followed by a hushed ”Y/n is still sleeping…we’ve got to let her rest- Boo! You better share with Dobby!”

“Don’t worry, I’m awake!” Groaned with a soft smile.

Reaching for your phone on the coffee table next to you and attempt to open it but your screen refuses to flicker on.

“Great” Clamoring to yourself, tossing back on the table in frustration.

“Good Morning, my love” Hearing Momo greeting Dahyun in the kitchen followed by the sound of a quick peck and a sigh; you feel the knot in your chest and the lump in your throat grow.

Hearing the way love is laced within the words Momo speaks when addressing Dahyun makes your skin burn with dread.

A deep ache that could only be filled by who you thought Nayeon was.

Who she might have never been.

The hushed conversation over the sounds of breakfast being made continues as you spiral.

Endless thoughts running through your brain as you try to file them away in their proper place. An attempt to process the feeling of betrayal. You can’t believe you’re even thinking about her doing such a thing.

“Nayeon? Cheating? She couldn’t…could she?” The woman who would threaten the Sun if it burnt you, the same woman who was so gentle with you, always making sure you felt safe and loved.

It feels like acid is eating away at your frontal lobe while the knife twists against the memories that flooded back to you. A melting brain trying to talk you out of accepting what you saw in her wallet.

Dehydrated.

Hungover.

Heart broken.

A triple threat.

While you try to derail the train of thought that was plaguing your mind, the sound of nails and the shifting of floor boards as someone walks over to you gets louder with each second. The dogs run ahead to jump on the couch and greet you, laughing as they try to lick your face giving them equal attention without rising from your position.

“Good Morning, Y/n-nie,'' Averting your eyes from the dogs to see Dahyun smiling down at you on the couch with a bottle of water raised up by her face. She gave a little shimmy and posed with the bottle to try to get you to smile.

“Good Morning, Dahyunnie” The dogs jump down when they hear the sound of Momo placing food in their bowl, scurrying off rapidly to their respective spots for breakfast.

Sitting up while Dahyun holds her hand out with some medication, patiently waiting for you to pop them in your mouth before handing you the glorious bottle of water.

“You are a saint,” while cracking opening the bottle, only to chug half of it before coming up for air, gasping at how great the cool liquid feels going down your throat.

Sitting down next to you, she waits for you to say something…anything at all. She doesn’t want to push you into more discomfort than you are already experiencing.

Eyes scanning the coffee table to see an empty tequila bottle, your dead phone, and 3 empty glasses. A sigh leaves your lips. Not being much of a drinker at all, you’re surprised at yourself for the amount of alcohol you ingested to void yourself of feelings entirely.

The problem with that, is that now you weren’t numb. Arms feeling heavy at the weight of the emotions you are carrying, the couch you are sitting on feels like it’s swallowing you whole as you sink slowly into the void of absolute devastation.

Jaw tensing as your eyes start to water.

The way her voice shook when she told you it wasn’t what you thought it was, echoing in your head, reverberating against your hangover and swollen eyes.

“Has she ever lied to you before? How long has it been going on? Did...did she really let someone else touch her?” Your body felt drenched in filth and in need of a shower.

Staring boldly into the fire as you navigate your deep dejection, you watch memory after memory rush into your mind’s eye.

The earlier attempt to fend them off, failing miserably.

A gray washed melancholy glazed over your facial expressions contouring your usually cheery demeanor into a desolate fog encapsulating the sun and giving more life to the deep shadows that mirror what’s in your soul.

Dahyun watched all your emotions sulk their way onto your face.

“Do you want to talk about it?” quietly inquired, trying to shake you out of the hopeless spiral you found yourself on.

“I don’t even know what to say. I have so many questions but Nayeon…” Flinching at the name as if someone just poked your tender heart with a sharp sewing needle

“…and this “J” person, only have the answers.” Another wave of gray as you realize what you’ve just said.

Hearing it in your own voice allowed the pieces to settle one by one. Pulling heart strings from the knot that was created over a flimsy piece of paper.

A single tear falls from your eye as Momo saunters in with 3 plates of food, handing you and Dahyun one before sitting down on the other couch, opposite you and her girlfriend.

“Thank you.” You can hear the cool slated tone of your voice as you try to hide the emotional turmoil you were drowning in.

“Thank you for letting me stay here and for being there for me. I’m really happy to have friends like you.”

They both smile empathetically with their mouths full as you take a bite of the salty strip of bacon.

—

With breakfast finished, Dahyun and Momo started to pack. Twice would be heading to Japan that afternoon for their schedules and wouldn’t be back until the middle of the following week.

Sitting at the foot of their bed and helping them decide which outfits to bring, you catching and folding the clothes that were thrown at you, tucking them neatly into the suitcases.

You lightly sigh, trying to not bring attention to yourself as you reminisce in silence about the last vacation you took with Nayeon. It was almost the same routine you were experiencing with Momo and Dahyun in the moment.

The chaos that was Nayeon packing was one of the most unorganized things you’ve ever experienced. The first time you watched her try to get everything together for a trip you had to stop her 5 minutes in as she was sitting on a suitcase of shoes trying to close it enough to get the zipper to budge.

She hated packing and would just throw the jumbled mess of clothes into a case and call it good which drove you insane even if it was cute watching her try to close that over stuffed suitcase.

When you started living together, all of that changed.

Sitting down on your bed and watch her showcase outfit after outfit to decide what to wear. You loved being able to help her decide between the colors and fabrics because it meant spending time with her.

She seemed to hate packing less too. Wondering how she’s fending trying to do it by herself as you redirect your attention to Momo while she speaks.

“Y/n, I know you know you’re more than welcome to stay here while we are gone,” Momo pulling a black sweater vest with a turtleneck off the hanger and tossing it to you without looking.

“I know you’ll probably go back to the apartment but I want you to know you don’t have to stay there if you don’t want to. Our guest bedroom is always open to you…or you can sleep on the couch again, if you prefer.” Side eyeing you, she knows how much you hate sleeping on that couch.

You all share a laugh while you neatly fold the garment and place it on top of the already organized stack in the massive suitcase.

“I think I'll pass on the couch, but I might take you up on the offer for the guest bedroom depending on how everything feels at the apartment. I need to get a change of clothes and some stuff either way.”

Momo nods her head, “You know where the spare key is, if you need it.”

—

Damp soggy streets and the sounds of cars passing is what fills your drive home. Fixating on the sound of rain tapping the windshield and the slosh of the tires in the puddles splayed out over the roads.

Anxiously heading back to the apartment, muscles tensing throughout your body as you get closer and closer to your shared home with Nayeon.

Hoping she’s already left for the airport so you don’t have to have the uncomfortable conversation just yet. It would be better to wait until you’ve fully processed what’s happened and gather your thoughts, right?

You do want to hear what she has to say but you need to be calm in order to react in a way that is best for you and your needs, just in case you have to only rely on yourself again.

Stopping at a red light, you patiently wait for the bright green to flash again as if it carries you home. The drive isn’t a long one but not knowing what’s waiting for you is creating what feels like a long time on the commute.

Looking down at your hands and fidget with the dry skin, something Nayeon would lightly swat at your fingers for doing.

If she saw you anxiously tapping your leg, touching your hair, or scratching at the sides of your fingers she would scoot closer to you, placing her hand on your thigh. Tracing small hearts, your initials and her initials, among other patterns, to get you to fixate on something else.

Self soothing now feels like a chore, you want to allow your spiral to run its course, sucking you into the disheveled thoughts occupying your headspace and filling your lungs with sharp cries.

The bright green of the traffic light reminds you you’re driving as you push the clutch in with your left foot, lifting your right off the break and accelerating with the gas. Clutch in again, shift to second, the balancing act of a stick shift car was almost too much today.

Too many thoughts swirling and you wished you didn’t have to pay attention so much. Though it was probably for the better as safety is allegedly important.

You roll your eyes as traffic stops you from proceeding. Just wanting to go to a familiar place and sit still with yourself in safety and these cars are blocking up the roads.

The entrance of the front office to the building being crowded by people with cameras. The car in front of you being halted by a security guard so the people congesting the roads don’t get hit.

Quickly realizing what’s happening, your eyes focus on the grooves of the woven leather on your steering wheel. Fiddling with them to try to distract yourself from all the commotion outside of your vehicle.

The camera’s clicking and can see the flashes in your peripherals tempt you to look up.

Temptation wins…you momentarily look up to get a view of Nayeon from your car window. The tints aren’t dark enough to shield you from her but the camera flashes might blind her enough to not see you.

She’s wearing a loose wrinkly sweater that belonged to you, sweatpants, white sneakers and a pair of dark black sunglasses. Her makeup doesn’t appear to be done and her hair is tucked into a messy bun.

Your heart bursts into flames at the sight of her.

A tear trickles down your cheek. You want nothing more than to embrace her, to feel her on your skin again, to feel the safety of your partner.

Remembering the note, the singular initial repeating in your head, remember what…or who, brought you to this emotional state in the first place.

Not allowing the visual of her to comfort you, not this time.

She’s waving to the cameras and doing hand hearts while walking towards the black SUV that’s there to take her to the airport when she sees your car.

Watching the revelation click in her head, she immediately stops walking and looks through the crowd to see you through your not tinted windows, trying to hold yourself together.

Mouth ajar and sadness creeping into her skin. Making eye contact for what feels like hours before she composes herself, cameras still blindingly flashing as she gets into the SUV.

Hearing the door close, you see the window in the back seat roll down, opposite of the crowd. The bigger car pulls out of the entrance to the complex and right up next to you.

Heart beating at an alarming pace as she sticks her head out of the window and removes her sunglasses. Her eyes are red and swollen with bags under them. She definitely didn’t sleep last night.

Realizing that she’s motioning for you to roll your window down, you comply quickly, hoping that it’ll be brief.

“Hey…Is your phone dead?” Barely louder than a whisper, sniffling through the short sentence.

Nodding your head slightly, you have trouble making eye contact with her, not wanting to face what she’s done…even if you aren’t really sure what that means yet.

A beat of silence drums between the two of you as you awkwardly shift in your seat. The stiffness of your lower back proceeding to yell at you again from a combination of sleeping on the couch and the stress you were under.

Choosing to break the silence with exactly what you expected.

“Can we talk when I get back?”. There is a glint of hope in her voice.

It hurts to hear.

You hadn’t blocked her, you rolled your window down, and you haven’t pulled off yet (not that you could with traffic) so you’re still present in some sense.

Nodding your head again, you agree to the hard conversation.

Smiling softly at you, her cheeks rising up as she goes to speak again when you hear the driver husks “Miss Im, I’m sorry to interrupt but you do have a plane to catch.”

She nods her head at the driver then brings her attention back to you.

“I left you something on the counter and there’s dinner in the fridge for you…I didn’t know if you’d be home and wanted to make sure you remembered to eat... I love you, y/n” as the SUV slowly starts to drive, picking up its pace quickly as it continues down the street.

—

Once the crowd dissipates and the smoke clears, you pull into your designated parking spot with haste. Quickly pulling the E brake and putting the car in neutral so you can take in what just happened. Not many words were shared, but you felt every single one of them echoing in your mind.

Grabbing your keys as you replay the “I left you something on the counter and there’s dinner in the fridge for you. I love you, y/n” in your head over and over again as you make your way up the elevator.

Walking up to the door, you hesitate to open it. The thick dark wood is intimidating as it glares down at you belittling your right to walk through it. Shiny golden numbers reflect the bright lights back at you as you reach for your keys hanging from your hip.

Skin prickling as you register that she won’t be on the other side of that waiting to hug you after a long day. The usual routine that happens when arriving home isn’t the same.

Bracing yourself, slide the key into the lock and turn. Hearing the mechanism click as the cog turning inside, turn the knob in tandem to reveal your kitchen.

Closing the door and locking it behind you, you absorb the atmosphere around you. The lighting is dark due to the overcast sky and lack of lights. The silence is loud as the room breathes around you. Your eyes pan over the room to find a bouquet of roses in a crystal vase on the counter.

Originally purchasing that vase to fill with flowers for her, now she was returning the favor. You take in the way the crystal shimmers with little to no light and the refractions of red coming off the sparkling corners that were etched into the filigree carved into its surface.

Flicking the lights on to reveal the spotless granite countertops, you realize that someone might have been stress cleaning. You remove your jacket and hang it on the rack on the back of the door hesitant to take your shoes off.

Your eyes hit the ground when you realize that the once sanctuary doesn’t feel safe. Pushing through the feeling, you put your shoes in their normal spot next to the door.

Gliding through the kitchen with an ease you were forcing, you search for the comfort you once had, plugging your phone into the charger on the counter.

The soft smell of roses permitting the room. Admiring them, you notice an envelope with your initials and a heart scrawled on it in bright red ink next to the vase.

Picking up the envelope, you stare at it tracing the edges of the thick paper with your fingers.

Would she write the answers to your questions here? Or would she wait until you asked? There’s only one way to find out, and you were sure you were too sober to pull the trigger.

Going into the cabinet, you pull out a wine glass and immediately turn for the fridge. Searching the shelves for the bottle that was already open. You pull the container of food out that Nayeon made for you, immediately getting nauseous at the idea of eating so you place it back on the shelf.

Realizing that the bottle is missing, she had done exactly what you did the night before.

Drank the pain away.

Biting the inside of your cheek knowing you and her both were going through discomfort, a realization you had yet to face.

You grab the unopened bottle of white win out of the door of the fridge and close it firmly behind you.

Pouring yourself a glass and chugging it quickly. You pour another while making a face, swallowing the bittersweet liquid.

Walking over to the trash can to throw the foil out, still feeling guilty about not being able to comfort Nayeon, you toss the small frail metal into the can when something familiar catches your eye.

The tattered paper from her wallet lay on top of the empty bottle you were searching for moments ago. The letter ripped in half, one side of it facing you- the signature present in black ink.

Rage shoots through you like hot liquid metal when you see it. Remembering that she could have actually betrayed you and here you are being upset that you weren’t there to comfort her?

Yeah okay, Y/n.

Eyes flickering back to the envelope she left for you…hesitating for a moment.

“Nope.” Said out loud for no one to hear.

Your phone starts vibrating endlessly, you run over and turn it on silent knowing the amount of notifications you were about to receive.

Grabbing both the bottle and the glass of wine, you head for the couch to get drunk and watch your favorite comfort movie.

—

The first night back, you decided to sleep on the couch.

Ultimately, sleeping there for another 2 full days. Only moving to go to the bathroom and get some water, allowing your body to rest and recover.

The bed seemed tainted and would probably smell like her, you didn’t want your body to relax into the false sense of safety it had been used to.

Not answering your phone or even look at the notifications, pretending it did exist and basking in the solitude. By day three you realized people might start to worry about you if you didn’t reply to them. Usually replying pretty quickly so it would be off if you didn’t say something to them.

Filtering through your notifications, you answer everyone but Nayeon. Momo had checked in with you and called you a few times leaving voicemails that got more threatening since you weren’t replying. Immediately calling her back to let her know you were breathing.

“Thank god you’re okay! I was going to head to your house straight from the airport if I didn't hear from you before we got back!”

“That’s very sweet of you, Momo-ssi. I’m doing alright just trying to take it day by day…or minute by minute, rather.”

“I understand. Have you talked to her yet?”

Hesitating to reply, knowing that you’re avoiding communication with her in fear of what the truth could be. Momo notices this almost immediately and nods her head as if you can see her.

“I take that as a no, then?”

“Yeah…I just- I don’t know, I’m scared of what happens next.”

Momo sighed empathetically.

“Sometimes you just have to take the next step, no matter what it brings.”

She was right so you tried to deflect.

“How is she?” your mouth utters before your brain could catch up.

“She seems off. You can tell she’s doing her best to try to keep it together. Less bubbly. Chaeyoung mentioned your name and she immediately went pale and changed the subject.”

Pressing your lips together, the back and forth of feeling guilty for not being there for Nayeon and feeling sorry for yourself was getting old and you were exhausted from the strain you've been putting on your nervous system.

“Momo, can I let you go? I guess I have to read these text messages.” begrudgingly said through a sigh.

“Yeah, good luck! Call me back if you need to talk about anything okay?” saying your goodbyes and hanging up.

No longer ignoring the task at hand, you open your text messages to read the 3 days worth of messages. At first they’re all panicky. A lot of begging for you to answer the phone, a lot them just simply saying your name.

They soon delve into “I miss you”, “I love you”, “Please come home” and “You mean everything to me” texts. A few of them were unintelligible, definitely sent after all the wine she consumed.

Some from the day she left for Japan, asking how the dinner was and if you read the note. A few more “I love you”s sent throughout the last few days.

Placing your phone on the table, you run your hands over your face, keeping your fingers over your mouth.

Opening your voicemails, put your phone on speaker and start to go through the ones from Nayeon. They’re all really hard to listen to. The first few especially.

“Y/n, please answer the phone! We can work through this! It’s not as bad as it seems, I swear! You are the only person I want to be with. Please call me back.” Sobbed into the microphone.

Heart cracking at the shakiness of her voice and the sadness dripping through your phones speaker.

Through the voicemails you can start to hear her words slur. The memory of how you were accepted by her members floods back into your brain again.

However, this time the joy is absent from the flashes of love. Only sorrow sits. The last voicemail she left you was from the morning of the day you came home. More of the same contents, but with sniffles instead of sobs.

You sit for a second to collect yourself. The envelope on the table, patiently waiting for you to rip open it’s seal and explore the contents.

Taking a deep breath, you pick it up. Slowly run your thumb between where the paper is stuck together, being sure not to damage anything inside. A pink slip of paper is neatly folded inside. You discard the envelope on the table and unfold the bright page and start reading.

“My Love,

I need you to know that you are so important to me. You are my safety. My guiding light. I’ve never felt as loved as I do when I’m with you. Please know that I am sorry for everything and I will explain when I get back. I hope you’re still home when I return.

With all the Love,

Nayeon”

Your heart sinks.

What do you mean you’re sorry for everything? What is everything? More questions and no answers.

Picking up your phone to call Momo again and vent about the apology you just received because all of the context is missing.

The phone rang once, twice, and the third ring was interrupted with a familiar voice.

“Hi Baby,” Freezing immediately, you are unsure of where to go from here.

Deciding to use the emotions you’ve been hiding as courage and ask the questions you’ve been holding onto for the last week.

“How long?” Cold. Stern. Angry.

Silence fills the other side of the phone as you wait patiently for the answer.

“Do you really want to do this right now? Can’t we wait until I get home so we can talk in person?“

“No, we are going to do this on my terms. How long?”

Nayeon sighed as you heard a door close through the phone as she separated herself from the rest of Twice.

“...it only happened once…a few years ago…it was a few weeks after you asked me on our first date.” Flinching when her voice cracks.

Tears silently trickle down your face as you focus heavily on the admission of betrayal.

“It hasn’t happened since. I messed up and I realized that. Please know I wouldn’t ever ever do something like that again.”

Heart is racing as you feel your cyclical emotions take control again. Anger, nausea, fear and betrayal dance around your chest as the words spill out of your girlfriend's mouth.

“Why was the note in your wallet?”

“I just switched wallets, it was in the black one I was using last week and I just didn’t throw it away.”

“Nayeon, Who is J?”

A long pause as you wait for her to say the name of the person who helped defile your relationship. She sighs heavily, you can hear her shaking.

“Can we please just talk in person tomorrow when I get back?” she pleads.

“If you’re not going to tell me, I’ll hang up. I don’t need anything else from you besides that information.” Voice overlaying in thick ice as the shards of what she broke fly out to hit Nayeon’s chest.

This is agonizing for both of you and you aren’t going to wait around for her to decide it’s time. You were the one who got cheated on, not her.

Never even thinking to do that to her so you would not be extending any grace.

“Y/n…”

Silently waiting for your answer that she is refusing to give.

“I’ll see you around, Nayeon.” As you move the phone away from your ear to end the call.

Faintly hearing her protesting but you hang up without fully hearing what she was trying to say.

Slamming your phone down on the coffee table when you feel the adrenaline release, chilling your veins down while your breathing starts to shallow and quicken. Switching your breathing into manual as you try to stop the panic attack before it gets worse.

Long deep breaths only get you so far. Your hands and lips start to tremble as your chest tightens. Feeling the need to stand up and run out of the building but are too light headed from the hyperventilating, you’d just fall over if you even try to stand.

Catching a glimpse of your phone lighting up from a text message. Lifting your phone to read who it’s from.

Momoring: I’m sorry, I didn’t see that she grabbed my phone when you called. Are you okay?

Momoring: Nayeon just walked back into the room crying...

Starting to type a response through trembling fingers when another message banner drops down, catching your attention.

It’s Nayeon.

Reading the text to yourself, mouth gaping when you realize this is the information you had asked her for on the phone. Shooting up out of your seat in a pure rage.

“Oh, You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”

[fallenangiefnaftrash]

I don’t care about Poppy Playtime that much..buuuuuut. I’m not gonna lie Ch3, was without a doubt, gives the feeling of Dread and major creep factor. And I love this Doggo and Cat

[backfromotterspace]

The original orb and dagger mage, the fearsome Dread Doggo

[midnightfries]

Fuck it we ball

Alphys (and flowey) centric au intro, ill draw it soon enough, it doesn't have a name yet!

Things are inconsistent here but i wanted to get it out so im forced to think about it more, anyway here you go

_____

Undyne told her to try and evacuate as many as she could, and so she did. She didn't wait, got out of the lab and showed her face to a larger public than she had in a long time. The human would not have access to the lab unless she gave it to them and she would not, but.. Only so many could fit there. And some were not very easy to find, so it was not only that.

But she did know there was more space she was not showing them. She did not want them to come out of this even worse, with the knowledge that their families were.. In that state. Not that some would, residents of Snowdin had dusted without ever finding out. She did feel guilty. That there was more space she just was not showing, that she could bring in more people like she told Undyne she would, but she was nothing if not a coward, so after she did all she could, she went to the locked lab herself.

She watched the human on their journey, killing monsters who might have been safe if she had just opened this place up for the others to see and judge. She felt strange, not having spent all that long down here for a while.

She saw one of the Amalgamates, the doggo family. It approached her without initiating a FIGHT, and let out a disjointed whimper, pressing one of its heads against her, probably sensing her anguish. She gave it a pet, whispered an apology to it- to them, and kept watching the screens anxiously.

There was another feeling she couldn't categorize, but she chalked it up to dread from this whole situation.

Then the human stopped.

The world went black.

*Alphys! Wake up! Stay determined!

[bloedewir]

Thinking about the "Fen'Harel" naming it seems truthful Solas got it as a mockery. A wild animal among Creators, Keepers and Gods. Even Ghilan'nain isn't just a halla but Mother of hallas. I like the idea. Anyhow it still sounds cool and frightening

Yet in dai it was mentioned previous translations could be wrong and it's not a "Dread" Wolf but quite possibly a "Rebel" Wolf (Codex entry: The Rebel God)

Impressive title too. Especially after the Fen'Harel rebellion story revealed in Trespasser DLC. It sounds inspiring and something something but if it's really the Rebel Wolf.. it means disobedience, right?

So. Evanuris called Solas a bad doggo.

Elgar'nan was literally like: hey boy, don't go in dat dayymn watehh I'm o'erhere, don't go you gawn got wehht! ayeeee ain't gun take you howme, awww come ownnn.. he got his daymn feet weht now shit- dawg (original)

[skellymom]

Possible "Vagabonds" fan fic future excerpt

With a eulogy to "Tiggy" the Space Doggo

For reference, this might possibly fit in a future installment for my ongoing series "Vagabonds" To read for more context:

https://www.tumblr.com/skellymom/738467105361494016/vagabonds?source=share

There is an extremely personal message at the end of the excerpt. Been sitting on this news for several weeks and needed to get it out. Opened my word document to find this excerpt. Had written it MONTHS ago. So here goes:

Warning: Very brief violence and talk of death.

Background: Wrecker and Tech are on the Marauder with the newest group of child refugees they rescued from the Empire. Unfortunately a nosy pirate looking for a bounty reward sneaks aboard. (Hunter and Echo are away on the Dread Beldame with Mad, Sil, and Love.)

The pirate advanced on the crew of the Marauder, pointing his weapon and threatening everyone aboard.  Several of the children started to cry out of fear. 

“Ehh, you’re scarin’ the kids!” Wrecker angrily pushed back. 

The pirate smiled creepily, licking his lips. 

Tech kept his cool, quietly watching the situation.  He looked like he was waiting for...something. 

“Whattaya lookin’ at, ya goggle eyed Gungan?”  The pirate snarled. 

“Your speedy demise.”  Tech sassily quipped. 

The toddler pointed to the dark brindled shadow quietly creeping up behind the pirate, “Tiggeee Goggeee.” 

Tech stoically gave the command: “Ra’mor!” 

She was upon the pirate in a flash. Took him down by the back of his neck, shaking furiously. He didn’t last long. Wrecker grimaced and grabbed the toddler in his arms while pushing the rest of the children behind him, shielding them from the sight. 

“Let slanar!” Tech barked.  

Tiggy released the mangled pirate.  

“Briik laam.” 

Tiggy immediately ran to and healed at Tech’s left side, clacking her pearly teeth excitedly. 

“Jate Tiggy. Wrecker, please dispose of the body immediately. As far away from the ship as possible.” Tech held his hands out for the toddler, which Wrecker dutifully handed over. 

“Awww...I ALWAYS get the dirty work!” 

“Wrecker, you are the best man for this job. Remember, no shallower than 6 feet. We don’t want his companions to find him. Come children...we are safe now.” 

"Tiggy" was based on my Amish rescue "Petunia" I obtained from work. For those of you who don't know, I am a certified veterinary nurse and work at a 24 hour veterinary ER. She came to us sick and injured at 4 WEEKS old.

Attacked by her own mother and possibly needing corrective surgery for necrosis of that wound, it looked dire. The Amish don't spend a lot of money if they don't think they can recoup the investment. Her heavily infected wound burst open all over my scrubs. She was TINY and helpless. I couldn't say no.

We kept her until she was a year: paid for medical care, orthopedic surgery, vaccines, meds, training, spay surgery, the works. Unfortunately, due to her being a high drive Dutch Shepherd, we could not keep her. This breed is known for their mercurial nature and sometimes aggression. I knew there was a VERY slight chance we could keep her, especially with 2 geriatric dogs in the household. She wasn't my first rescue, either. Petunia spent time at a shelter for police and military dogs, and was evaluated for bite work. Unfortunately, she passed from the wave of respiratory "Doggie Covid" that is sweeping the US right now. With some dogs medical treatment works...with some...they don't rally from the infection. We feel sick about this and sadly miss "Looney Petunia."

She now lives on in a galaxy far, far away. Love rescued her and she fiercely defends that Force sensitive teen, their family, and The Batch. She will forever track prey with Hunter, ride on Wreckers shoulders, snuggle with Omega, lay at Crosshair's feet while he polishes his rifle, listen dutifully to Tech's commands...and steal Echo's prosthetics.

She LOVED to watch TV too!

PLEASE like, comment, and/or REBLOG!

IF YOU WISH TO BE ADDED OR DROPPED FROM MY TAG LIST, PLEASE MESSAGE ME! Don't just comment as I might miss it. Thanks!!! <3

[fafnirhumgy]

another error message.

marmalade sunk back in his seat with a sigh, the ever dutiful gamma bringing him refreshments to clear his mind. for all that yuuki adhered to the traditional makeup of any general reyvateil, there were just as many aspects where he didn't. some were obvious - he was a boy rather than a girl - and some were rather genius - his telomeres were quite reinforced, possibly explaining why his need for diquility only extended to pain relief and not life support - while others were obtuse by the means which his existence was possible. on paper, the redirect from a traditional cosmosphere to the genometrics was a good idea. in practice?

well, if the weird visual on his screen of a weird tree wrapping its roots around a pillar of metal was any indication, it was just a bit more complicated than he was prepared for. and the less said about the weird beastly parts in his h-waves, the better.

then again, though he didn't know the exact details about those strange mutations, he did at least know what they were. and that, he could work with.

"..."

unfortunately, that wasn't much either.

another sigh.

"well, gamma, i'm big enough to admit i'm lost on this matter. looks like i have no choice."

his metal companion tilted his head as the professor sipped the offered drink and reached for a barely-used rotary phone. it was the phone, the one he always dreaded using. he had an inkling as to what was about to happen next, but it still warranted asking:

"what will you do, professor?"

"...i have no choice but to ask them for help."

a few short whirs of the wheel, the softly ringing dialtone of the phone, and the seconds-long wait that felt like an hour began...

---------------------------------------------------------------

"oh yeah, we're free! we'll take a quick pit stop at the town we're at and we'll fly right over. see ya!"

click.

betel looked down at the giant canine monster he was perched upon, his prosthetic arm checking its vitals and sending back all green. well, it was pretty disingenuous to call the beautiful creature he was on a "monster", but that was the scientific term, so what can ya do. his cohort, the "song-beast" draco, was keeping the big doggo occupied by yapping its ear off about something... related to sea shells?

"hey kiddo, you can stop with the seafood talk, you're making me hungry over here too."

a playful raspberry. huh, he was getting pretty good at understanding the song language draco's kind used. seriously, would it kill anyone else to put in the effort to learn even a little bit of the language and what these people called themselves?

the pink dragon perched on his shoulder and switched to common, for his sake. "so, boss, where to next?"

"sage's island. we're finally coming come to nrc!"

"oh yeah, you told me all about that place... isn't it where all the stuck-up douches li-"

"NOT just the douches, i know a few cool people there."

"right, i remember! your childhood crush!"

"yeah! you re-"

betel's face goes flush as he begins sulking.

"let's just go, okay draco?"

"hehehe! you're the boss, boss!"

with a great jump, the small dragon suddenly morphs into a very big dragon, large enough for betel to perch on their back.

one, two, three wingbeats, and they were off to night raven college like a pink winged comet.

-------------------------------------------------------------

crowley sneezed.

"...why do i get a feeling my precious budget is crying?"

[lesbianwyllravengard]

HI LETO!!! 11 for freydis and josie, 14 for marian and Her Dreadful Little Polycule, 3 for inquisitor chantry bomber anders and dorian :)

YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE <333

Ask game

3. What is something that always reminds them of their partner?

Again I think books in general just remind Anders of Dorian. But also snakes. And anytime he sees ice he thinks of Dorian's eyes even tho Dorian would hate that. And then cats remind Dorian of Anders

11. Have they said "I love you"? If so, when was the first time?

Yes, absolutely, they say it all of the time. Freydis said it first and she said it before the game's canon of during the duel for Josephine's hand but Josie didn't take her seriously until then. It was always "I love you" when Josephine would make Freydis laugh so Josie kinda thought Freydis was saying it like you would to a friend 😭 that's why during the duel scene Freydis is like "??? Because I love you!!!" like girl I've been saying that this whole time. Now, when one of them says it the other says it back, but Josephine tries to say it randomly to surprise Freydis bc usually Freydis says it first and Josie thinks it's cute when she's caught off guard

Freydis: so this afternoon we have a meeting with the-

Josephine: I love you

Freydis: oh. 😳. I love you too 🥰

14. Do they have any pets? If not would they consider getting one?

They have TOO MANY pets 😭 Anders and Merrill love cats so much and Merrill somehow comes home with a new cat following behind her like every other day. She doesn't even do anything they just sense her beautiful vibes and follow her home. Not all of them end up staying but for the most part they stay in the area to get fed when needed. Isabela insisted on getting another mabari to keep the Hawke dog company, Anders was a little frustrated at first bc having two mabari scares all the cats but soon they warmed up to the doggos and now they're all a big happy family. I think Merrill also brings home a little ferret for Isabela and it only likes the two of them, often hiding in their sleeves or on their shoulders. And Marian only cares about keeping her three wives happy but the mabari are her favourite pets.

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

Since it’s February and the dreaded Valentine’s Day is coming up (no valentines lol) do you have any Valentine’s Day headcannons? Like who would be a pair or what a state would give as a valentines or what they would do together? :)

>:3

NY: would as you to go do parkour with him or go skateboarding or just simply take a walk in Central Park with hot cocoa

Louisiana: he’s taking you to his favorite bar and then taking you to his favorite place in the swamp. y’all probably carve your initials into a tree too (dw about why he has a knife on him just shhhhhhh….)

Texas: Ofc he’s gonna take you horseback riding to his favorite flower field (and his doggos tag along too) so that y’all can watch the beautiful sunset together

Gov: he’s dragging you to the Smithsonian National Museum and then taking you to get drinks and food after (don’t you dare think of even ATTEMPTING to pay)

Mass: he’s going to aggressively throw a heart shaped box of assorted chocolates along with several other gifts through your window at 3am with a note saying "do ya wanna go get dunks in the mornin’….?"

New Jersey: you bet your sweet ass that he’s taking you to go meet the Jersey Devil and you bet your sweet ass that J.D. is gonna give you the shovel talk <3

[arcandoria]

if anything bad happens to dread doggo I'll kill everyone in the room and then myself

[cry4mina]

Take Me Back To Eden - Granite (Part 2)

(Nayeon x fem!reader)

Take Me Back To Eden - Choke Hold - Part 1

Word Count: 5k Angst/more angst/attempted fluff met with....angst Summary: Reader is struggling with the emotions that come with uncovering some uncomfortable truths about their relationship with Nayeon.

Tw: Mentions of drinking, reader has unhealthy coping mechanisms, reader is a little stuck in their head (very stuck in their head), spiraling, nausea, cursing, flash backs, food, cheating, panic attacks, crying, Dahmo is present again, a quick mention of Chaeyoung, doggos (the 10th member of twice and his brother make an appearance) If I missed anything pls let me know!

A/N: Thank you for all the support on Part 1 of this fic! If you haven't read that yet, it is linked above for context. There will be a Part 3 in the works, shortly! Thanks to @saiiidahyunee for always listening to me ramble as I organize my thoughts and coming through with the suggestions<3 Reminder: My asks/requests and DMs are always open!

-

You wake up to the smell of bacon. You reach to your right, but your hand lands on cool slick wood instead of your soft sheets. You get immediately upset that Nayeon isn't next to you.

When you open your eyes you’re met with an immediate headache and the realization that you aren’t in your own bed. Your vision is blurred much like the last 12 hours. Colors and shapes that aren’t distinct but there’s a familiarity in the patterns seen by your hungover eyes.

You usually wake to the sweet sound of her humming in the kitchen to herself. Your chest hollows remembering the previous morning.

Her showering you with affection from the minute you opened your eyes, her switching coffees with you so you could have the perfect cup, the giggles and glances while bathing together…your heart was dissociating down the path of you and Nayeon.

You shake those thoughts out of your brain, causing the dull ache behind your eyes to sharpen into a seering burn between your temples.

You blink rapidly to clear the haze and let out a groan at how bright the sun is beaming through the large windows in front of you. You recognize the living room from the neutral tones of the furniture, the Twice posters framed in black hung perfectly, the fireplace roaring to beat out the chilly air, and the hints of light pink everywhere.

You don’t even need to see the dog toys scattered throughout the room- , you’re in Momo’s living room.

The uncomfortable couch you had fallen asleep on was good for sitting and not for sleeping. You shift trying to sink a little deeper between the blanket someone placed on you and the firm cushion below you but the scream of your lower back was enough to keep you placed right where you were.

The sizzle of the bacon you just smelled and the clicking of nails on hardwood floors are now present throughout the house. You hear Boo barking for a piece of bacon followed by a loud “Shh!” Followed by a hushed ”Y/n is still sleeping…we’ve got to let her rest- Boo! You better share with Dobby!” You give a soft smile and yell “Don’t worry, I’m awake!”

You reach for your phone on the coffee table next to you and attempt to open your phone but your screen refuses to flicker on. “Great” You clammer to yourself tossing back on the table as you hear Momo greeting Dahyun in the kitchen.

“Good Morning, my love” the sound of a quick peck and a sigh; you feel the knot in your chest and the lump in your throat grow. You hear the way love is laced within the words Momo speaks when addressing Dahyun. It makes your skin burn with dread.

A deep ache that could only be filled by who you thought Nayeon was. Who she might have never been. The hushed conversation over the sounds of breakfast being made continues as you spiral.

Endless thoughts running through your brain as you try to file them away in their proper place. An attempt to process the feeling of betrayal. You can’t believe you’re even thinking about her doing such a thing.

“Nayeon? Cheating? She couldn’t…could she?” The woman who would threaten the Sun if it burnt you, the same woman who was so gentle with you, always making sure you felt safe and loved. You felt like acid was eating away at your frontal lobe while the knife twists against the memories flooding back to you as your brain tries to talk you out of accepting what you’ve seen in her wallet. Dehydrated, Hungover, Heart broken. A triple threat.

While you try to derail the train of thought that was plaguing your mind, you recognize the sound of nails and the shifting of floor boards as someone walks over to you through the hallway. The dogs follow and run ahead to jump on the couch and greet you. You laugh as they try to lick your face giving them equal attention without rising from your position.

“Good Morning, Y/n-nie,'' You avert your eyes slightly from the dogs to see Dahyun smiling down at you on the couch with a bottle of water raised up by her face. She gave a little shimmy and posed with the bottle to try to get you to smile.

“Good Morning, Dahyun” The dogs jump down when they hear the sound of Momo placing food in their bowl, scurrying off to their respective spots for breakfast.

You try to sit up as Dahyun holds her hand out with some medication waiting for you to pop them in your mouth before handing you the bottle.

“You are a saint,” you say while opening the water bottle. You chug half the bottle before coming up for air. Gasping at how great the cool liquid feels going down your throat.

She sits down next to you waiting for you to say anything. She doesn’t want to push you into more discomfort than you are already experiencing.

Your eyes scan the coffee table to see an empty tequila bottle, your dead phone, and 3 empty glasses. You sigh. You weren’t much of a drinker to begin with but you needed something to numb you.

The problem with that, is that now you weren’t numb. Your arms felt heavy at the weight of the emotions you are carrying. You feel as though the couch you are sitting on is swallowing you as you sink slowly into the void of absolute devastation.

Your jaw tenses as your eyes start to water. Remembering the way her voice shook when she told you it wasn’t what you thought it was. It echoed in your head, reverberating against your hangover and swollen eyes.

“Has she ever lied to you before? How long has it been going on? Did...did she really let someone else touch her?” You felt filthy and in need of a shower.

Staring boldly into the fire as you navigate your deep dejection, you watch memory after memory rush into your mind’s eye. Earlier attempts to fend these off failed.

A gray washed melancholy glazed over your facial expressions contouring your usually cheery demeanor into a desolate haze.

Dahyun watched all your emotions play out on your face.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she quietly inquired, shaking you out of the hopeless spiral.

“I don’t even know what to say. I have so many questions but Nayeon”

You flinch at the name as if someone just poked your tender heart with a sharp sewing needle… “ and this “J” person, only have the answers.”

Another wave of gray as you realize what you’ve just said. Hearing it in your own voice allowed the pieces to settle one by one. Pulling heart strings from the knot that was created over a flimsy piece of paper.

A single tear falls from your eye as Momo saunters in with 3 plates of food, handing you and Dahyun one before sitting down on the other couch, opposite you and her girlfriend.

“Thank you.” You can hear the cool slated tone of your voice as you try to hide the emotional turmoil you were drowning in.

“Thank you for letting me stay here and for being there for me. I’m really happy to have friends like you.”

They both smile empathetically with their mouths full as you take a bite of the salty strip of bacon.

With breakfast finished, Dahyun and Momo started to pack. Twice would be heading to Japan that afternoon for their schedules and wouldn’t be back until the middle of the following week.

You sit at the foot of their bed and help them decide which outfits to bring. Catching and folding the clothes that were thrown at you and tucking them neatly into the suitcases.

You lightly sigh, trying to not bring attention to yourself as you reminisce in silence about the last vacation you took with Nayeon. Giving almost the same routine you were experiencing with Momo in the moment.

The chaos that was Nayeon packing was one of the most unorganized things you’ve ever experienced. The first time you watched her try to get everything together for a trip you had to stop her 5 minutes in as she was sitting on a suitcase of shoes trying to close it enough to get the zipper to budge.

She hated packing and would just throw the jumbled mess of clothes into a case and call it good.

When you started living together, all of that changed. You would sit down on your bed and watch her showcase outfit after outfit to decide what to wear. You loved being able to help her decide between the colors and fabrics because it meant spending time with her.

She seemed to hate packing less too. You wonder how she’s fending trying to do it by herself as you redirect your attention to Momo.

“Y/n, I know you know you’re more than welcome to stay here while we are gone,” Momo says, pulling a black sweater vest with a turtleneck off the hanger and tossing it to you.

“I know you’ll probably go back to the apartment but I want you to know you don’t have to stay there if you don’t want to. Our guest bedroom is always open to you…or you can sleep on the couch again, if you prefer.”

You all share a laugh while you neatly fold the garment and place it on top of the already organized stack in the massive suitcase

“I think I'll pass on the couch, but I might take you up on the offer for the guest bedroom depending on how everything feels at the apartment.”

Momo nods her head, “You know where the spare key is, if you need it.”

—

Rain slicked streets and the sounds of cars passing is what fills your drive home. You’re fixating on the sound of rain tapping the windshield and the slosh of the tires in the puddles splayed out over the roads.

You are anxious heading back to the apartment. Muscles tensing throughout your body as you get closer and closer to your shared home with Nayeon.

You are hoping she’s already left for the airport so you don’t have to have the uncomfortable conversation just yet. You’d rather wait until you’ve fully processed what’s happened and gather your thoughts.

You do want to hear what she has to say but you need to be calm in order to react in a way that is best for you and your needs, just in case you have to only rely on yourself again.

You stop at a red light, patiently waiting for the bright green to flash again as if it carries you home. The drive isn’t a long one but knowing what’s waiting is what’s creating the time between houses. You look down at your hands and fidget with the dry skin, something Nayeon would light swat at your digits for doing.

If she saw you anxiously tapping your leg, touching your hair, or scratching at the sides of your fingers she would scoot closer to you, placing her hand on your thigh. Tracing small hearts, your initials and her initials, among other patterns, to get you to fixate on something else.

Self soothing now feels like a chore, you want to allow your spiral to run its course, sucking you into the disheveled thoughts occupying your headspace and filling your lungs with sharp cries.

The bright green of the traffic light reminds you you’re driving as you push the clutch in with your left foot, lifting your right off the break and accelerating with the gas. Clutch in again, shift to second, the balancing act of a stick shift car was almost too much today.

You had too many thoughts and wished you didn’t have to pay attention so much. Though it was probably for the better as safety is allegedly important.

You roll your eyes as traffic stops you from proceeding. You just want to go to a familiar place and sit still with yourself and these cars are blocking up the roads.

You can see the entrance of the front office to the building being crowded by people with cameras. The car in front of you being halted by a security guard so the people congesting the roads don’t get hit.

You quickly realize what’s happening and start staring at the grooves of the woven leather on your steering wheel. Fiddling with them to try to distract yourself from all the commotion outside of your vehicle. You hear the camera’s clicking and can see the flashes in your peripherals.

You glance up momentarily to get a view of Nayeon from your car window. The tints aren’t dark enough to shield you from her but the camera flashes might blind her enough to not see you.

She’s wearing a loose wrinkly sweater that belonged to you, sweatpants, white sneakers and a pair of dark black sunglasses. Her makeup doesn’t appear to be done and her hair is tucked into a messy bun. Your heart melts at the sight of her.

You feel a tear trickling down your cheek. You want nothing more than to embrace her. To feel her on your skin again, to feel the safety of your partner.

You remember the note, the singular letter repeating in your head, remember what brought you to this emotional state in the first place. You don’t allow the visual of her to comfort you, not for this.

She’s waving to the cameras and doing hand hearts while walking towards the black SUV that’s there to take her to the airport when she sees your car. You watch the revelation click in her head and she immediately stops walking and looks through the crowd to see you.

Mouth ajar and sadness creeping into her skin. You make eye contact for what feels like hours before she composes herself, cameras still blindingly flashing as she gets into the SUV.

You hear the door close and see the window in the back seat roll down, opposite of the crowd. The bigger car pulls out of the entrance to the complex and right up next to you.

You feel your heart start to beat at an alarming pace as she sticks her head out of the window after removing her sunglasses. Her eyes are red and swollen with bags under them. She definitely didn’t sleep.

You realize that she’s motioning for you to roll your window down. You comply quickly, knowing that it’ll be brief.

Barely louder than a whisper “Hey…Is your phone dead?”

You nod your head slightly, having trouble making eye contact with her. A beat of silence drums between the two of you as you awkwardly shift in your seat. The stiffness of your lower back proceeding to yell at you again from a combination of sleeping on the couch and the stress you were under.

She chooses to break the silence with exactly what you expected. “Can we talk when I get back?”. You can hear the glint of hope in her voice.

You hadn’t blocked her, you rolled your window down, and you haven’t pulled off yet (not that you could with traffic) so you’re still present in some sense.

You nod your head again, agreeing to the hard conversation. She smiles softly at you, cheeks rising up as she goes to speak again when you hear the driver husk “Miss Im, I’m sorry to interrupt but you do have a plane to catch.”

She nods her head at the driver then brings her attention back to you.

“I left you something on the counter and there’s dinner in the fridge for you…I didn’t know if you’d be home and wanted to make sure you remembered to eat... I love you, y/n” as the SUV slowly starts to drive, picking up its pace quickly as it continues down the street.

Once the crowd dissipates and the smoke clears, you pull into your designated parking spot with haste. Quickly pulling the E brake and putting the car in neutral so you can take in what just happened. Not many words were shared, but you felt every single one of them echoing in your mind.

You grab your keys as you replay the “I left you something on the counter and there’s dinner in the fridge for you. I love you, y/n” in your head over and over again as you make your way up the elevator.

Walking up to the door, you hesitate to open it. The thick dark wood is intimidating as it glares down at you belittling your right to walk through it. Shiny golden numbers reflect the bright lights back at you as you reach for your keys hanging from your hip.

Your skin prickles as you register that she won’t be on the other side of that waiting to hug you after a long day. The usual routine that happens when arriving home isn’t the same.

You brace yourself, slide the key into the lock and turn. Hearing the mechanism click as the cog turning inside. You turn the knob in tandem to reveal your kitchen.

Closing the door and locking it behind you, you absorb the atmosphere around you. The lighting is dark due to the overcast sky. The silence is loud as the room breathes around you. Your eyes pan over the room to find a bouquet of roses in a crystal vase on the counter.

You bought that vase to fill with flowers for her, now she was returning the favor. You take in the way the crystal shimmers with little to no light and the refractions of red coming off the sparkling corners that were etched into the filigree carved into its surface.

Flicking the lights on to reveal the spotless granite countertops, you realize that someone might have been stress cleaning. You remove your jacket and hang it on the rack on the back of the door hesitant to take your shoes off.

Your eyes hit the ground when you realize that the once sanctuary doesn’t feel nearly as safe. You push through the feeling, and put your shoes in their normal spot next to the door.

You glide through the kitchen with an attempted ease as you search for the comfort you once had, plugging your phone into the charger on the counter.

The soft smell of roses permitting the room. You look at them and notice an envelope with your initials and a heart scrawled on it in bright red ink next to the vase.

Picking up the envelope, you stare at it tracing the edges of the thick paper with your fingers. Would she write the answers to your questions here? Or would she wait until you asked? There’s only one way to find out, and you were sure you were too sober to pull the trigger.

Going into the cabinet, you pull out a wine glass and immediately turn for the fridge. Searching the shelves for the bottle that was already open. You pull the container of food out that Nayeon made for you, immediately getting nauseous at the idea of eating and you place it back on the shelf.

You realize that the bottle is missing. She had done exactly what you did the night before. Drank the pain away. You bite the inside of your cheek knowing you and her both were going through discomfort. You grab the unopened bottle of white win out of the door, closing it firmly behind you.

You pour yourself a glass and chug it. You begin to pour another while making a face as you swallow the bittersweet liquid. You walk over to the trash can to throw the foil from uncorking it out, still feeling guilty about not being able to comfort Nayeon. You toss the small frail metal into the can when something familiar catches your eye.

The tattered paper from her wallet lay on top of the empty bottle you were searching for moments ago. The letter ripped in half, one side of it facing you- the signature present in black ink.

Your anger grows when you see it. Remembering that she could have actually betrayed you and here you are being upset that you weren’t there to comfort her? Yeah, okay Y/n.

Your eyes flicker back to the envelope she left for you.

“Nope.” You say out loud. Your phone starts vibrating endlessly so you run over and turn it on silent knowing the amount of notifications you were about to receive.

You grab both the bottle and the glass of wine and head for the couch to get drunk and watch your favorite comfort movie.

—

The first night back, you decided to sleep on the couch and you stayed there for another 2 full days. Only moving to go to the bathroom and get some water. You just allowed your body to rest and recover.

The bed seemed tainted and would probably smell like her, you didn’t want your body to relax into the false sense of safety it had been used to.

You didn’t answer your phone or even look at the notifications. Pretending it did exist and basking in the solitude. By day three you realized people might start to worry about you if you didn’t reply to them. You usually reply pretty quickly so it would be off if you didn’t say something to them.

You filtered through your notifications, answering everyone but Nayeon. Momo had checked in with you and called you a few times leaving voicemails that got more threatening since you weren’t replying. You immediately called her back to let her know you were breathing.

“Thank god you’re okay. I was going to head to your house straight from the airport if I didn't hear from you before we got back!”

“That’s very sweet of you Momo-ssi. I’m doing alright just trying to take it day by day…or minute by minute, rather.”

“I understand. Have you talked to her yet?”

You hesitate to reply. Knowing that you’re avoiding communication with her in fear of what the truth could be. Momo notices this almost immediately and nods her head as if you can see her.

“I take that as a no, then?”

“Yeah…I just- I don’t know, I’m scared of what happens next.”

Momo sighed empathetically.

“Sometimes you just have to take the next step, no matter what it brings.”

You knew she was right so you tried to deflect.

“How is she?” your mouth utters before your brain could catch up.

“She seems off. You can tell she’s doing her best to try to keep it together. Less bubbly. Chaeyoung mentioned your name and she immediately went pale and changed the subject.”

You press your lips together. The back and forth of feeling guilty for not being there for Nayeon and feeling sorry for yourself was getting old and you were exhausted from the strain you've been putting on your nervous system.

“Momo, can I let you go? I guess I have to read these text messages.” you begrudgingly say.

“Yeah, good luck! Call me back if you need to talk about anything okay?” You say your goodbyes and hang up.

No longer ignoring the task at hand, you open your text messages to read the days worth of messages. At first they’re all panicky. A lot of begging for you to answer the phone, a lot them just simply saying your name.

They soon delve into “I miss you”, “I love you”, “Please come home” and “You mean everything to me” texts. A few of them were unintelligible, definitely sent after the wine she consumed.

You see some from the day she left for Japan, asking how the dinner was and if you read the note. A few more I love yous sent throughout the last few days.

You place your phone on the table and run your hands over your face, keeping your fingers over your mouth. You open your voicemails, put your phone on speaker and start to go through the ones from Nayeon. They’re all really hard to listen to. The first few especially.

“Y/n, please answer the phone. We can work through this. It’s not as bad as it seems, I swear. You are the only person I want to be with. Please call me back.” She sobs into the microphone.

Your heart cracks at the shakiness of her voice and the sadness dripping through your phones speaker.

Through the voicemails you can start to hear her words slur. The memory of how you were accepted by her members floods back into your brain again.

However, this time the joy is absent from the flashes of love. Only sorrow sits. The last voicemail she left you was from the morning of the day you came home. More of the same contents, but with sniffles instead of sobs.

You sit for a second to collect yourself. The envelope on the table, patiently waiting for you to rip open it’s seal and explore the contents.

You take a deep breath, picking it up. You slowly run your thumb between where the paper is stuck together, being sure not to damage anything inside. A pink slip of paper is neatly folded inside. You discard the envelope on the table and unfold the bright page and start reading.

“My Love,

I need you to know that you are so important to me. You are my safety. My guiding light. I’ve never felt as loved as I do when I’m with you. Please know that I am sorry for everything and I will explain when I get back. I hope you’re still home when I return.

With all the Love,

Nayeon”

Your heart sinks. What do you mean you’re sorry for everything? What is everything? More questions and no answers.

You pick up your phone and call Momo again to vent about the apology you just received because all of the context is missing. The phone rang once, twice, and the third ring was interrupted with a familiar voice.

“Hi Baby,” You freeze, unsure of where to go from here. You decide to use the emotions you’ve been hiding as courage and ask the questions you’ve been holding onto for the last week.

“How long?” You ask sternly. Silence fills the other side of the phone as you wait patiently for the answer.

“Do you really want to do this right now? Can’t we wait until I get home so we can talk in person?

“No, we are going to do this on my terms. How long?”

Nayeon sighed as you heard a door close through the phone as she separated herself from the rest of Twice.

“...it only happened once…a few years ago…it was a few weeks after you asked me on our first date.” You flinch when her voice cracks. Tears silently spill down your face.

Focusing heavily on the admission of betrayal being told to you. “It hasn’t happened since. I messed up and I realized that. Please know I wouldn’t ever ever do something like that again.”

Your heart is racing, you are feeling your cyclical emotions take control again. Anger, nausea, fear and betrayal dance around your chest as the words spill out of your girlfriend's mouth.

“Why was the note in your wallet?”

“I just switched wallets, it was in the black one I was using last week and I just didn’t throw it away.”

“Nayeon, Who is J?”

A long pause as you wait for her to say the name of the person who helped defile your relationship. She sighs heavily, you can hear her shaking.

“Can we please just talk in person tomorrow when I get back?” she pleads.

“If you’re not going to tell me, I’ll hang up. I don’t need anything else from you besides that information.” Your voice is icy as the shards fly out to hit Nayeon’s chest. This is agonizing for both of you and you aren’t going to wait around for her to decide it’s time. You were the one who got cheated on, not her. You would never do that to her so she is not going to be extended any grace.

“Y/n…” You stay silent waiting for an answer that she is refusing to give.

“I’ll see you around, Nayeon.” You say as you move the phone away from your ear to end the call. You faintly hear her protesting but you hang up without fully hearing what she was trying to say.

You slam your phone down on the coffee table when you feel the adrenaline release, chilling your veins down while your breathing starts to shallow and quicken. You switch your breathing into manual as you try to stop the panic attack before it gets worse.

Long deep breaths only get you so far. Your hands and lips start to tremble as your chest tightens. You feel like you need to stand up and run out of the building but are too light headed from the hyperventilating. You are sure you’d just fall over if you even try to stand.

You catch a glimpse of your phone lighting up from a text message. You life your phone and read who it’s from.

-Momo: I’m sorry, I didn’t see that she grabbed my phone when you called. Are you okay?”

-Momo: Nayeon just walked back into the room crying...

You start to type a response through trembling fingers when another message banner drops down, catching your attention. It’s Nayeon. You read the text to yourself, mouth gaping when you realize this is the information you had asked her for on the phone.

“Oh, You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Take Me Back to Eden - Aqua Regia - Part 3