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Writing to Heal

I write to understand, to learn, to heal, to grow, to accept, to find and have clarity on my experiences, living with something I didn't know I had. Writing is a form of therapy, a way to process my thoughts and emotions, to reflect on my past and to spiritually heal. Through writing my books, (piecing my life together) I have found a deeper connection to myself and the world around me. I have a sense of peace and catharsis. It is difficult to grow up with something you don't know you have and to heal.

My Books

My books are a reflection of my journey, my struggles, my triumphs and my growth. They are a testament to my resilience, my determination and my ability to overcome adversity. But most importantly, they are a reminder that healing is possible, that growth is achievable and that with courage and perseverance, we can all find clarity and have peace in our lives.

My Books can also:

– Inspire and uplift readers' wellbeing

– Provide support to those going through similar challenges

– Offer a different perspective and insight on the various topics

– Introduce readers to mental health

– To support readers on their own 'mental health' journey

–Show readers how to become proactive and to take control

– Leave a lasting impact and legacy for future generations

Thank you to those who have chosen to read my books. I hope my words will resonate with you, and encourage you to keep moving forward and remind you that you are not alone in your struggles. I also hope you find the strength to confront your own demons, to embrace your own truths and to embark on your own journey of healing and growth. And most of all, I hope you find a renewed sense of hope and purpose in your lives.

If you're interested and fancy grabbing copies of my books, you can take advantage of my Easter promotion through the following link https://www.thecpdiary.com/my-books/ – just apply EASTER50 code. Offer ends end of April.

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"I believe natural beauty has a necessary place in the spiritual development of any individual or any society. I believe that whenever we substitute something man-made and artificial for a natural feature of the earth, we have retarded some part of man's spiritual growth." RACHEL CARSON

For more inspirational quotes and blogs, please check out my site https://www.thecpdiary.com

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March 24th

March 24th will always be etched. Firstly it’s 'our birthday' and with my twin now in heaven, it was my first birthday without her, the exact same day we adopted Nelly, our golden retriever, a year ago.

I have to move forward As I notch up yet another number and year without my twin, I am reminded that I have no choice but to physically move forward without her. Nelly, our golden retriever now has two birthdays. Her adopted birthday, March 24th, which she shares with us and her biological birthday which is on the 22nd April.

Feeling empty How do I feel going solo? Empty. It's not two years yet, but it is my second birthday without her. Truthfully, empty, like an empty vessel and the void can never be replaced.

I still have the memories I still live near to where my twin lived, 3 doors down. It's time to move on. We're in the process of trying to sell, trying to find somewhere to move, so I can physically and mentally move. A difficult ask, all I will say is it's ongoing.

I'm different not out of choice

But I know Sheila will move forward with me. I'm not happy about the prospect, my health, what I've been through; tinnitus, the swollen muscle, the tooth loss, the facial pain for 10 months. It's now 15 months into twin loss and I'm different through the other end. Not by choice, but necessity.

I was a little wobbly through the lead up to my birthday. Having taken a reading and hearing from my twin, I am feeling somewhat better today.

For more inspirational, lifestyle blogs, please check out my site https://www.thecpdiary.com

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Changing the way you think

My books can change the way you think. By observing the broader changes happening in the world, I hope my books, my journey as an author, and having to navigate through these challenging times, reflects a resilience and determination to help others also make a positive impact despite the obstacles.

My books My books accompany my website The CP Diary and are good bedside reading books. They focus on mindfulness, mental health and personal growth, and are incredibly relevant in today's climate where many people are grappling with increased stress, anxiety and uncertainty. By sharing my own experiences and insights, I offer valuable resources to readers who seek guidance and support in navigating their own challenges. My decision to donate net proceeds to mental health charities I hope further demonstrates my commitment to making a difference for the lives of others. I believe that supporting such causes is crucial, especially now, when mental health issues are increasingly impactful.

My books are a beacon of hope and inspiration In a world where physical and mental fatigue is on the rise, my books serve as beacons of hope and inspiration. They provide tools for self-reflection, growth and resilience, in the face of adversity. I hope I shall always be in a position to continue to share what I know, hoping my words have the power to uplift and to empower you. I also hope that through buying my books, you will support my endeavours to support mental health charities, so that together we will make a difference to the lives of many.

For more inspirational, lifestyle blogs, please check out my site https://www.thecpdiary.com

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“Reading is a conversation. All books talk. But a good book listens as well.” MARK HADDON

For more inspirational quotes and blogs, please check out my site https://www.thecpdiary.com

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Christmas Eve Thoughts

Dear Readers,

It's that time of year again when I take time to reflect on my year with The CP Diary. It's been a difficult year for us all, for me also, as it's the first year without my twin as I continue my life without her.

My message will read differently this year as I didn't want this year's message to be all 'doom and gloom.'

For me, Christmas is a time to reflect on the past year. It's a time to pause, to appreciate the little things. It is also a time to give back, to spread kindness and to remember those less fortunate. This year has undoubtedly been challenging for many of us. We have faced hardships, chronic illness, loss and uncertainty; but we have also shown that we can have resilience and strength.

Gratitude and compassion is also important. It is the little acts of kindness that make a difference, like the smile we offer to a stranger, or the phone call we make to check in on a loved one. It is important to cultivate these qualities in our lives, not just during Christmas, but throughout the year; also for us to come together, to support... to help those who struggle because they're dealing with mental health, or they deal with a physical disability. To be helpful because you can make a difference.

Finally, I would like to express my deep gratitude, to you my readers for reading the blog. Thank you also for your support through the year, for your kindness, and for being a part of The CP Diary community. I value and appreciate each and everyone of you.

I wish you and your loved ones a peaceful and happy Christmas. May it be a time filled with love, laughter, and memories for you to cherish.

Warmest wishes,

Ilana x

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Blue Zones Diet

The term 'Blue Zones' has been coined to refer to the places in the world with the healthiest, longest-living populations, including Okinawa; Japan, Sardinia, Italy; Nicoya, Costa Rica; Ikaria, Greece; and Loma Linda, California.

On the blue zones, people eat a wide variety of garden vegetables. The best longevity foods in the blue zones diet are leafy greens such as spinach, kale, beet and turnip tops, chard, and collards. Studies have found that middle-aged people who consumed the equivalent of a cup of cooked greens daily were half as likely to die in the next four years as those who ate no greens.

Researchers have also found that people who consumed a quarter pound of fruit daily (about an apple) were 60% less likely to die during the next four years than those who didn’t.

Many oils derive from plants, and they are all preferable to animal-based fats. Olive oil is the oil most often used in the blue zones diet and evidence shows that olive oil consumption increases good cholesterol and lowers bad cholesterol.

The following simple guidelines reflect how the world’s longest-lived people ate for most of their lives.

Here's a summary of the key points:

Plant-Based Diet

Some 95% of blue zone diets food come from a plant or a plant product with animal protein limited to no more than one small serving per day.

Emphasis on vegetables, fruits, beans, nuts, seeds, and whole grains;

Leafy greens like spinach and kale are highlighted;

Consuming a cup of cooked greens daily and a quarter pound of fruit daily has been linked to better health outcomes.

Studies have found that middle-aged people who consumed the equivalent of a cup of cooked greens daily were half as likely to die in the next four years as those who ate no greens. Researchers have also found that people who consumed a quarter pound of fruit daily (about an apple) were 60% less likely to die during the next four years than those who didn’t.

Many oils derive from plants, and are all preferable to animal-based fats. Olive oil is the oil most often used in the blue zones diet and evidence shows that olive oil consumption increases good cholesterol and lowers bad cholesterol.

Limit Animal Protein

Animal protein intake is restricted to small servings, with meat consumption limited to twice a week or less;

Fish is a common source of animal protein, consumed in small portions, usually two to three times per week;

Dairy products, particularly cow's milk, are minimised, with alternatives like sheep's or goat's milk products occasionally consumed.

Limit animal protein to twice a week or even less, in servings sized no more than two ounces cooked and avoid processed meats like bacon or sausages.

In most blue zones diets people ate small amounts of pork, chicken, or lamb, eating small amounts of meat, about two ounces or less at a time, about five times per month. Neither beef nor turkey figures significantly into the average blue zones diet. It is thought that any harmful effect was counterbalanced by other food and lifestyle choices.

Healthy Fats

Oils derived from plants, particularly olive oil, are preferred over animal-based fats;

Olive oil consumption is associated with improved cholesterol levels.

Moderate Egg Consumption

Eggs are eaten occasionally, typically two to four times per week;

Eggs from free-range chickens are preferred for their nutrient content.

Reduce Meat Consumption

Meat is consumed sparingly, about two ounces or less at a time, around five times per month;

Processed meats like bacon or sausages are avoided.

On the Blue Zone diet you can eat meat twice a week or even less in servings sized no more than two ounces cooked and avoid processed meats like bacon or sausages.

In most blue zones diets people ate small amounts of pork, chicken, or lamb, eating small amounts of meat, about two ounces or less at a time, about five times per month. Neither beef nor turkey figures significantly into the average blue zones diet. It is thought that any harmful effect was counterbalanced by other food and lifestyle choices.

Fish Consumption

Fish intake is encouraged, with small portions consumed regularly, about two to three times per week;

Emphasis on selecting fish that are common and abundant and not threatened by overfishing.

You can eat up to three ounces of fish daily which is equivalent to about the size of a deck of cards before it is cooked. Select fish that are common and abundant, not threatened by overfishing. In blue zones diets, fish is a common part of everyday meals, eaten on average two to three times a week.

Please consider ethical and health considerations involved in including fish in your diet. In the world’s blue zones, in most cases, the fish being eaten are small, relatively inexpensive fish such as sardines, anchovies, all species that are not exposed to the high levels of mercury or other chemicals that pollute gourmet fish supply today. People in the blue zones don’t overfish the waters. There is no blue zones diet evidence suggesting and any particular fish should be eaten.

Ethical and Health Considerations

For example:

Inclusion of small, relatively inexpensive fish species that are not exposed to high levels of pollutants;

No specific fish is recommended, and overfishing is avoided in Blue Zones.

Dairy Reduction

Minimisation of cow’s milk and dairy products due to lactose intolerance issues;

Calcium and protein are obtained from plant-based sources like kale or tofu.

Minimise your consumption of cow’s milk and dairy products such as cheese, cream and butter. Cow’s milk does not figure significantly in any blue zones diet. In terms of the human diet, dairy is a relative newcomer, introduced about 8,000 to 10,000 years ago. Our digestive systems are not optimised for milk or milk products and now we recognize that a significant number of people have some difficulty digesting lactose.

While western diets have relied on milk for calcium and protein for decades, in the blue zones diet people get these nutrients from plant-based sources such as kale or tofu, both of which provide as much calcium as a cup of milk.

Small amounts of sheep’s milk or goat’s milk product are eaten in a blue zones diet and goat’s and sheep’s milk products figure prominently in the traditional diets of both the Ikarian and Sardinian blue zones.

Eggs Consumption

Eggs are considered acceptable for consumption, providing complete protein and various essential nutrients;

Eggs from free-range chickens are preferred.

Eggs are consumed in all blue zones diets, where people eat them an average of two to four times per week. As with meat protein, the egg is a side dish, eaten alongside a larger portion of a whole-grain or other plant-based feature.

Eggs in the blue zones diet come from chickens that range freely, eat a wide variety of natural foods, do not receive hormones or antibiotics, and produce slowly matured eggs that are naturally higher in omega-3 fatty acids. Factory-produced eggs come to maturity about twice as fast as eggs laid by breeds of chickens in the blue zones.

Eggs provide a complete protein that includes amino acids necessary for your body plus B vitamins, vitamins A, D, and E, and minerals such as selenium.

Other foods on the Blue Zone diet include beans, nuts, sourdough bread. When it comes to beverages, you should drink between 6-8 glasses of water a day. It is okay to drink tea, coffee, and red wine in moderation

In summary

The key principles of the Blue Zones diet include focusing on plant-based foods, limiting animal protein intake, consuming fish in moderation, reducing dairy consumption and enjoying eggs occasionally. By following these simple guidelines inspired by the world's healthiest and longest-living populations, you can improve your overall health and well-being. (Source: bluezonescom)

For more inspirational, lifestyle blogs, please check out my site https://www.thecpdiary.com

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“Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion. Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning and purpose to our lives.”  Brené Brown

For more inspirational, quotes and blogs, please check out my site https://www.thecpdiary.com

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Covid hasn't entirely gone away

Everyone has different areas of interest and concerns. It is important for me to write about the things that matter that I am passionate about but also have concerns about. I hope there will be an audience who will resonate with my writing, and who will continue to support.

The warm weather

The warm weather has reduced the spread of the virus, which means we've been able to go about our lives with relative ease. Going into the winter months, Covid is still a reality, and it hasn't entirely gone away.

There is a new strain

There is a new strain, therefore it is important to continue practicing good hygiene habits such as washing hands regularly, wearing a mask indoors and crowded spaces and maintaining social distance wherever possible.

We also need to be mindful

We also need to be mindful of our actions and how they may impact others, particularly for those who are more vulnerable. This can be a difficult time, but it is important to continue to follow guidelines set out by health authorities, because those haven't changed, to keep ourselves and those around us safe.

Here are some key things you can continue to do to protect yourself and others from Covid:

Wear a mask in indoor public spaces, particularly if you are in an area with high transmission rates or with people who are not in your immediate household;

Practice social distancing by keeping at least six feet of distance from others;

Wash your hands frequently with soap and water or use hand sanitiser when it is not available;

Avoid large gatherings or crowded spaces, especially if you are in a high-risk group or have not been vaccinated;

Stay home if you are feeling unwell or experiencing any symptoms of Covid-19. Our collective efforts can make a big difference in slowing the spread of the virus.

It's important to remember that we're all in this together. By taking care of ourselves and each other, we can help to slow the spread of the virus and work towards a brighter future, with less risk to health.

It would be interesting to hear your thoughts on the pandemic going into the winter months. Do you still mask up in public spaces, do you worry about the virus and/or do you still practice social distancing?

For more inspirational, lifestyle blogs, please check out my site https://www.thecpdiary.com

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Carrying Others' Karma

As I continue to blog about the things that bring understanding and may resonate, I hope they bring understanding and can resonate with you too. Karma isn’t always easy to understand.

When we talk about 'living other people's karma,' we're referring to the idea that individuals can be influenced or impacted by the actions of others, either positively or negatively. Honestly, we're all living and carrying others' karma, collectively and personally in one way or another.

Brexit

The economic downturn in Britain, can be seen as a consequence of the uncertainty surrounding Brexit and its impact on trade, investment and financial markets. Similarly, the freedom of movement loss, is a direct result of the decision to leave the EU's single market and customs union.

The Pandemic

The pandemic is another situation where people are collectively living others' karma. 4-years in and the politicians' decision to lift all precautionary measures is leaving the vulnerable even more exposed and even more isolated. Although the vaccine helps, with it you can still catch and spread the virus. The physical protections should still be in place to protect the vulnerable.

Here are some more perspectives on karma:

Interconnectedness

Some belief systems emphasise the interconnectedness of all living beings, where the actions of one person can have a ripple effect, influencing others in a web of interconnected relationships. This leads to the idea that we are all part of a collective karma, and our actions contribute to the state of the world.

Family and Community Dynamics

The actions of family members or community members can shape an individual's values, beliefs, and behaviours. Growing up in a loving and caring family or community can instil positive values and promote healthy behaviours. Being exposed to negative influences or engaging in harmful behaviours within the family or community, can lead to the adoption of negative or unhealthy habits.

Additionally, it can also directly affect the wellbeing and development of an individual. Positive actions, such as support and encouragement, can create a nurturing environment that promotes emotional growth and success. Negative actions, such as abuse or neglect, can have long-lasting harmful effects on an individual's physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.

Empathy and Compassion

Understanding and acknowledging that others may be experiencing the consequences of their actions can foster empathy and compassion, but it can also foster judgment. On the other hand, it can also encourage individuals to approach others with understanding, recognising that everyone is on their own karmic journey and dealing with the consequences of their past actions.

We all have a collective responsibility

The concept of living other people's karma needs to highlight the importance of collective responsibility. In society, individuals need to be responsible for their own actions, although from what we're seeing innocent people are getting caught in the consequences of collective actions, such as political decisions, environmental policies and societal norms. It is important to be mindful of the impact on the collective karma of communities and of society as a whole.

Personal Accountability

While external factors influence our lives, philosophical traditions also emphasise personal responsibility and the idea that individuals have the power to shape their own destiny through their actions and choices.

While many view karma as a cosmic justice system, others may see it as a guideline for ethical living. The idea of living other people's karma invites contemplation on the interconnected nature of human existence and the serious impact our actions have on others and ourselves.

While it may be tempting to assign blame or responsibility to certain individuals or groups, understanding karma encourages us to view these events as reflections of collective choices and actions. The bottom line is that we are all interconnected and the repercussions of our collective decisions affect us all.

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Tips for Reflective Practices

Reflection is how I get to write in depth material on my personal blogs, with a little research thrown in on my more technical blogs, just to make sure I'm on the right tracks.

Reflection is what saved my mental health. I would recommend it to anyone. I've always been deep. Reflection is a valuable tool for personal and professional development. By building regular time to reflect on certain situations, you can plan your time more effectively at the same time as working on your mental health.

Reflection involves deliberately thinking back on experiences, events, or situations and analysing them to gain insights, learn from them and to make improvements.

Here are some key ways in which you can use reflection as a tool:

Self-awareness

Reflection allows individuals to become more aware of their thoughts, emotions and behaviours. By reflecting on past actions and experiences, individuals can identify their strengths, weaknesses and areas for improvement.

Learning

Reflection helps to consolidate and integrate new knowledge and skills gained from experiences. By reflecting on what worked or didn't work, individuals can identify the strategies or approaches that were successful and those that need adjustment.

Problem-solving

Reflection provides an opportunity to critically analyse challenges or problems faced so that you can explore potential solutions. It allows individuals to assess the effectiveness of previous strategies, consider alternative options and to develop new insights and approaches.

Goal-setting

Reflection can also help in setting meaningful goals by evaluating past achievements and identifying areas that require further development. It enables individuals to clarify their aspirations and align their actions with their desired outcomes.

Decision-making

Reflection also allows individuals to evaluate the decisions they have made and their consequences. By analysing the factors that influenced their decisions, individuals can learn from their past experiences, enabling them to make more informed decisions.

Emotional wellbeing

Reflection contributes to emotional well-being by providing an opportunity to process and understand emotions associated with experiences. It can help individuals gain perspective, build resilience and reduce stress.

Dedicate time and space

To effectively use reflection as a tool, it is important to create dedicated time and space for reflection, adopt a non-judgmental and open mindset and use prompts or questions to guide the reflection process. Regular reflection can lead to continuous improvement, increased self-awareness, improved decision-making and personal, spiritual and emotional growth.

It would be interesting to hear from others on how you resolve your own issues. Do you use reflection, or do you find another method works better?

For more inspirational, lifestyle blogs, please check out my site https://www.thecpdiary.com

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A Poem about Living

I counted my years and found that I have less time to live from here on than I have lived up to now. I feel like that child who won a packet of sweets: he ate the first with pleasure, but when he realized that there were few left, he began to enjoy them intensely. I no longer have time for endless meetings where statutes, rules, procedures and internal regulations are discussed, knowing that nothing will be achieved. I no longer have time to support the absurd people who, despite their chronological age, haven't grown up. My time is too short: I want the essence, my soul is in a hurry. I don't have many sweets in the package anymore. I want to live next to human people, very human, who know how to laugh at their mistakes, and who are not inflated by their triumphs, and who take on their responsibilities. Thus, human dignity is defended, and we move towards truth and honesty. It is the essential that makes life worth living. I want to surround myself with people who know how to touch hearts, people who have been taught by the hard blows of life to grow with gentle touches of the soul. Yes, I'm in a hurry, I'm in a hurry to live with the intensity that only maturity can give. I don't intend to waste any of the leftover sweets. I am sure they will be delicious, much more than what I have eaten so far. My goal is to reach the end satisfied and at peace with my loved ones and my conscience. We have two lives. And the second begins when you realize you only have one. Credits: Mário Raul de Morais Andrade (Oct 9, 1893 – Feb 25, 1945) Brazilian poet, novelist, musicologist, art historian and critic, photographer

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“Anger is really disappointed hope.” ERICA JONG

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What does grief feel like?

Like many children lose a family member, I remember losing my grandfather as a child. Although my parents didn't go into detail, being told felt heavy, huge in fact. I think the fact they didn't talk about his death made it worse. But grief can lead to a range of emotions. It can feel heavy, it can feel numbing, it's easy to feel lost, panicked in fact.

Listen without judgment

We all want to be listened to. To listen without judgment and allow us to express our emotions. Around death, it is important to maintain a routine and provide a sense of stability.

For me it was the silence, the void that followed my grandfather's passing. It feels rather poignant now having lost my parents and losing my twin. If you struggle with grief and your emotions begin to impact your daily life, reaching out for professional support through a therapist or counsellor who specialises in grief and loss would be the right way to go.

Grief is a process which takes time for us to fully understand and to navigate our emotions. Others providing support, and understanding can help us feel safe and supported during our loss.

Using Art to cope with Grief

When it comes to children having to deal with grief, parents can provide opportunities for their children to express their emotions in safe and healthy ways. This can be through talking, drawing, writing, or engaging in activities that they enjoy. Encourage children to share memories and stories about the person who died, and help them find ways to honour their memory.

Rituals and ceremonies related to the death, if they are comfortable with it, can give children a sense of closure and an opportunity to say goodbye.

Children can have challenges around grief

Young children can have a more magical or concrete understanding of death. They may believe that the person who died can come back or that they are simply asleep. This can make it even more challenging for them to comprehend and process their grief. It is important for adults to give explanations and reassurances, according to their age, while also acknowledging and validating their emotions.

Supporting children through grief

There are several ways to support children in navigating their grief. It is important to be honest about what has happened, using simple and clear language. Encourage them to ask questions about their loved one. Reassure them that their feelings are normal and that it is okay to feel sad, angry, or confused.

It is also important to understand that children may express their emotions differently than adults. They may act out, throw tantrums, withdraw, or even regress in their behaviour. They may also have difficulty concentrating. It is important for children to have their feelings validated, to provide a safe environment for them to express themselves.

Modelling healthy coping strategies

When it comes to grief we should all be allowed to grieve in our own way and be encouraged to express our feelings. By modelling healthy coping strategies, we can learn to manage our emotions and navigate our emotions through grief.

For more inspirational, lifestyle blogs, please check out my site https://www.thecpdiary.com

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The CP Diary Stats

A few weeks ago, I put a quote out on The CP Diary which read:

"I'm so tired of waiting, aren't you, for the world to become good and beautiful and kind." - Langston Hughes

Becoming good and beautiful and kind makes the world a kinder place, a better place, a place in which we can support and deal with our experiences, deal with our mental health.

The stats on The CP Diary make for sombre reading. Mental health is largely being ignored and according to mental health charities and the WHO, it is a cause for concern.

The latest UN projections on the World's population

"The latest UN projections suggest that the world’s population could grow to around 8.5 billion in 2030 and 9.7 billion in 2050, before reaching a peak of around 10.4 billion people during the 2080s. The population is expected to remain at that level until 2100." (Source: news.un.org)

13 years of writing

In 13 years of writing for the blog, my stats are making for sombre reading. The world has seen a lot of changes and as a consequence, we've all been through a lot of mental health changes. The CP Diary will always be here to support your mental health, to support YOU on your Mental Health Journey.

Mental Health Matters

Every Mind Matters, Your Emotions Matter, Your Mental Health Matters, but first we have to recognise that we need to deal with mental health, Be proactive on our mental health. It was clear to me from a young age that I needed to step up, to deal with my emotions, deal with my mental health.

It is important to look after our wellbeing. Staying well is important if we are to continue to enjoy our lives. Take yourself down ‘memory lane’ talk about and deal with your experiences. Deal with your emotions. If you're not being proactive, please think about starting.

Talk about the memories, so you can place them and take away the guilt, if it's guilt you feel. Just imagine how much lighter and better you’ll feel once you’re through the other end. I hope you will reconsider.

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“The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It’s the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared.”

LOIS LOWRY, The Giver

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