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#their faces arent quite right
freakurodani · 2 years
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🌻☀️🌟
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kittenmoth · 1 year
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Gotta love the awkward lanky lizard phase amirite
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time a flat circle why the hell am i usin the same loafers i bought for one cosplay of my fave antagonist for another fave antagonist
#snap chats#can i even call it cosplay. why are police sirens going off in the bg oh my god shut UP#anyway yeah ill elaborate. Super Snap Stalkers will remember my p4 era and will remember the time i did in fact do an adachi cosplay#i deleted the og post like an hour later. plus that blog's gone. but im sure some freak can find it if they dig hard enough#ew i think i was 17/18 in that pic (not at all that long ago) ok anyway.#i use the same loafers for my aoki outfit. and yeah i do Regularly wear my rgg outfits i TOLD YOU its functional cosplay i QUIT#just funny that like.... damn everything always goes back to square one LOL#these busted ass old ass loafers still rockin with me years later#if im feeling cheeky i think i will post all my rgg outfits actually. for halloween#hang on gotta be depressed and cringe for a moment#cause ive always liked cosplay but whenever i did it it never felt. Good Looking#like i always just felt like my face never worked for the charas i wanted to portray and so thats why i say with a heavy heart#that aoki's round-ass square-ass head is perfect LOL it makes me wanna throw up looking in the mirror#i got the same weird lips. ok not that squished Similar but Its Awful that he makes me feel comfortable with my face now#at least my eyebags arent double deckered... i at least look like i get sleep.. some days.#breaking !!!! objectively one of the most vile bitches in this franchise makes you feel comfortable with your body and existence#NAW to continue from last post if i had a webcam i prob coulda done a cosplay y7 stream LOL thatd be funny#anyway since this tag ramble is just pure cringe let me round it off with a final bit of cringe#the Forbidden Mention of my trans masato hc cause one reason why i have a Teehee over the thought is how raspy his voice is#and i only really now realized how right i was tonight because my prof called on me to speak and when i tried speaking DAWG.#the forbidden acknowledgement of Myself GROSS#BUT DAWG MY THROAT WAS FUCKIN CRUSTY it felt like sandpaper EW?? WATER FOR YOU?? christ. i hope that was just a one-time thing#ok im leaving now BYE
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waloeders · 6 months
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almost done jupe reference (wip) but i am. getting sleepy.
you too can get a funky cloak from the certified Not A Cult of Susurrus' worshippers!
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bhaalsdeepbat · 8 months
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doodling mercy's face and lovingly telling them "you probably got your lips tattooed black my little edgelord"
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strwbrymlkshake · 2 years
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ohh I do want to pass away why am I so stupid
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#mine#🎸#why am i such a terrible person 😇 genuinely what the fuck#me when i want to cry and tear my skin off over a minor mistake ufhdshdjfjg can i stop being fucking stupid for once#crying over a mistake right NOW actually everything is so difficult i dont know what im supposed to do in these situations!!!!!!!#i get in trouble for not knowing what to do in social situations then i have to apologize and i didnt know THAT either.#bashing my head against the wall violence maiming killing death torture bloodletting slicing tearing defenestrating murdering annihilating#me anmd my epic autism powers. shouldnt i know better why csnt you understand!!! who is at fault here! i dont even know#ashshsjdksjfklsfke im wanna cry so hard everything sucks right now im too busy for this shit. for Emotions#why are you punishing me do you hate me?! did you never even like me at all are you trying to make me mad!!! why#im so tired and frustrated i want everything to go perfectly but its not nothing can be perfect in this terrible world he is going to hate#me now. hell why do i have urges like this it always ruins everything im being so selfish arent i aren't i arent i !!!!!!!! why cant we#be FUCKING compatible and perfect snd everything what is the problem am i the problem?!?? why cant you understsnd what im trying to tellyou#maybe it really would just be better if i died nothing good has happened or is going to happen to me since he probably hates me and#my life sucks!!!!! my face hurts from crying i cant cry properly it hurts it feels so hot why cant it end already!!!!!!! why cant#we be perfect like we are supposed to why cant you UNDERSTAND it seems easy to understand to ME whwueh i am mortified my throat hurts#my head hurts i hate this world why couldnt i resist why did i have to be vulnerable id be better off if. well i dont know#i do want to crush bones and flesh beneath my hands to be honest i dont KNOW i thought it was going well i thought it was good#the thread i am hanging on by is quite thin actually why do i care so much why do i care so little im going to explode right meow!!!#my mood is so ruined i dont know if im even used to this whole thing i cannot get in particular moods im so. rgrhrhggr none of this post#is going to make sense i just need to say words while crying then itll be fine probably#this is just another one of god's little tests i think that everyone will hate me no matter what in the end so i have to enjoy it while#it lasts. no matter how hard i try everything always ends up the same way. all this started because of my mistakes and itll end with them
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harmcityherald · 1 year
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Cancer is a monster.
but I'm a monster slayer.
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neonacidtrip · 1 year
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[image ID: a screenshot of a discord chat with username “wenge (when-gay)’ carrying out a one-sided conversation expressing her reluctance and fears regarding driving at 1:08 a.m. the other person in the conversation’s responses are not shown]
#when your boy politely suggests you move to the next difficulty level in driving#we were both speaking but i was typing my answers because i dont have my voice right now#i think in order he said 'you need to learn to drive faster' & when i asked how fast he said first 25 (wont kill me) then 40 (will kill me)#he then said we move from 40 to 65 to which i hit him with 50 50 50 what happened to 50#the keysmash happened when he told me to drive to his house#in other words you can see the moment my brain short circuited#i normally feel bad sharing text conversations but i dont feel bad here because its only my responses#the only one being blasted is myself for being a cant drive gay#i get that there arent many 30 zones but 25 to 40 is a lot okay#i went on a 40 road exactly once and it ended quite terribly. scared the driving instructor#why do highways have to exist why do highways have to be 60+ zones why me just why#i said merging because i thought that would be the next difficult skills to tackle and he was like um no#and hit me with the 'you need to learn to make turns at more than 2mph before you worry about merging lanes neo'#25 to 40 is a lot and im not even on 25s yet i am still in 10mph zones. i have to graduate up to 25 still#we started on 25s and he was like hmmmmmmmm maybe i over estimated you lets go to the 10s#like a disappointed teacher discovering the kid who bragged about ice skating actually cant ice skate at all#i cant drive i cant dance i dont know karate.... face it... im never gonna make it#neo rants#photo post#i know i need to drive and not hide behind mcr references but i just really dont like driving#i will get there slowly but surely but that doesnt mean i cant whine and cry about it on the way there#like sailor moon intended#also i took 3d6 psychic damage because after all the fighting about the plans for the car he suggested my own original idea to me#my idea was to leave the car with my mom and now hes presenting this idea the very first idea i suggested as if he came up with it#i cant live in this society
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crescentmp3 · 1 year
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hi please pray for my math exam to go well. please......... this->🐛 is me
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homoeroticvillain · 16 days
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sketch of og geist and his crew which will probably get semi overhauled tmrrw between colouring and me not being 100% happy with some of their designs
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arcturianview · 3 months
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Just finished SoJ.... man I miss when Ace Attorney was good.
#its just like... man. this case was almost extremely enjoyable. the case logic was good the mystery was satisfying#there was even the dhurke twist that swept the rug out from under me in quite an enjoyable way#i managed to figure out all the other twists heading into the final case but we'll be generous and call it good forshadowing#but i just feel like so many of these narrative beats feel hollow bc nahyuta is so thoroughly unlikable and his switch feels unearned to me#and then dont get me started on the crappy mocap. it undercuts several moments that should be dramatic or emotional#and man just imagine if we had known any of this about apollo before. how much less stapled on it would feel?#and then the whole theme they point to at the end about students and mentors could have been compelling... but imagine how much more#compelling it would have been if phoenix and apollo werent jockeying for screen time for the past three games and instead apollo actually#got to have something. but no...#but i have to say the thing that really left a sour taste in my mouth was the conversation between Phoenix and Thalassa at the end#if there was EVER a game where Trucy and Apollo's familial ties should have been revealed. it should have been this one.#this game has a whole case that deals again with the Gramarye legacy in a way that feels like its teeing this convo up#not to mention all the stuff about Apollo's family and history it dives into.#this SHOULD have been the game they told them.#but no. instead we get a vauge conversation at the end just to remind the player that no! the developers haven't forgotten!#they arent just ignoring the fact! they're shoving it in our faces and telling us to remember that they're ignoring it#it just left the game on a really poor note for me#especially because i would hope the the writing out of Apollo leaves space for Athena to shine#but if they want to resolve the siblings plot which they are very pointedly reminding us of.. that requires bringing Apollo back#and i would think warrants at least the length of a case to deal with the emotional repercussions#but whatever#man i hope dgs is as good as people say it is cause right now im just pissed at this game.#ace attorney critical#spirit of justice critical
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miya-rin · 2 months
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“what the fuck do you two think youre doing?”
shit, you think, you didnt notice the balcony door had been slid open until you heard the voice of one of your brothers. you start to pull away from suna’s lips which earns you a small whine from his end, his grip tightens around you and honestly it its quite cute the way he is trying so hard to savour the moment. “come back later, we’re kinda busy.” the boy mutters before trying to move your face away from the distraction so that he can kiss you once more.
“suna you get your hands off of her right now, i dont give a fuck that its your birthday.” osamu pipes up, he looks furious and a little bit disgusted, if it hadnt been for the situation youre in right now you would think its kind of funny.
“samu lay off him, it was a mutual agreement, im just as guilty as he is ok?” that does not seem to help the boys understand, if anything they seem even more angry with you both.
“what the fuck do you mean it was a mutual agreement? are you two hooking up or something? yn he just turned 18 a few hours ago are you forgetting that?” atsumu says, he is rambling on with every excuse he can think of as to why this is “so wrong”, from the corner of your eye you can see suna trying so very hard to hide the grin that is creeping its way onto his face, his hands still all over you despite the fact that you arent alone anymore.
“listen, it was his birthday wish ok? i swear it didn’t mean anything,” sunas grip begins to loosen ever so slightly, “i just though it would get him off my back and get him over his little crush on me.” suna’s facial expression shifts but you choose to ignore it, you have bigger problems to deal with at the moment.
“no this is not ok, how would you feel if me or samu kissed one of your friends because it was their birthday wish?”
“that’s different, why would my friends want to kiss either of you?”
“excuse me? ill have you know that many women want to kiss me! and dont think youre getting off the hook either suna, ill make sure you never-“ you dont even want to hear the threat that is about to come out of his mouth, you just want to get out of this shitty situation.
“boys please, just give us five minutes to talk and then we will be back inside ok? i promise.” your efforts to plead with your brothers finally work.
“…fine,” atsumu mumbles, “but this better be a one time thing. im not gonna deal with you two being all lovey dovey around me.” and with that he lightly tugs on osamu’s sleeve, signalling him to walk back inside and continue the party. he closes the balcony door but not before bringing two fingers up to his eyes and then pointing them at the two of you. its a warning.
you turn back to suna and notice the sad look on his face - he looks kinda cute like this, “so, what do-“.
“did you really mean what you just said to them?” the poor boy looks heartbroken, after waiting three years to finally have a chance with the girl he loves wants the moment is ruined like that? “did you actually just do that so i would leave you alone?” his hands fully leave your body now and he takes a step back to put some distance between you two.
“well i mean sort of yeah… ive never looked at you in any way other than my brothers best friend if im going to be honest, i dont know if thats because of the age difference or what but ive never thought we could be anything.” the look of hurt is prominent on his face no matter how hard he tries to hide it, normally playful banter would have been thrown back and forth between the two of you but rintarou just stays silent, an indication that youve fucked up.
“listen suna i dont know what you want me to say, i wasnt really thinking when i said that to atsumu it just came out. i am 4 years older than you and many people would not approve of us if i decided to give you a chance.”
“who cares? i could treat you so right if you would just let me. i have waited entirely too long for this moment, all im asking for is one date.”
“you said that about the kiss too, one thing is never enough with you is it? you always need more.” a playful smile creeps onto your face which is outshined by the one on sunas, he knows that your smile means that you agree to go on a date with him.
“i really hope you arent fucking with me right now, that would be so cruel, especially on my birthday.”
“oh give the birthday excuse a rest now will you? you dont need to keep on at me you have already got what you want.”
“mhm i absolutely have,” he walks closer and once again wraps his arms around you, placing a hand under your jawbone to make you look up at him, “and i couldnt be happier.” he states as he pulls you in for a passionate kiss once more <3
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flamingoofeathers · 2 months
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𝗔 𝗣𝗜𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗘’𝗦 𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗧 || 𝗝. 𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗞
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pairings: james hook x mermaid!reader
part 2 -> VK GONE SOFT || J.HOOK
summary: the times that hook came to see you and the time he didn’t. A forbidden love between a royal and a rebel, a pirate and a mermaid.
one shot; wc: 1.8k
genre: angst, fluff
main masterlist j.hook masterlist
a/n: you can imagine the reader as young Ariel or the daughter of Ariel, it doesnt really change much.
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James tried to be as subtle as he can, cautiously looking around incase any one of the vk's were to see him, he wouldn't want to imagine what would happen. Dont get him wrong, he doesn't care about what anyone thinks, but this is his friends, the VK'S, dangerous people, that would hurt anyone who gets in their way.
Finally reaching the woods far behind Merlin Academy, he walked calmly through the forest, whistling as he neared the enchanted lake. No one comes to the lake during the week, since it's quite far from campus, but it would be filled with student wanting to take a swim during the weekends.
His chest filled with glee when he heard the splashing of water, grinning to himself, as he rushed to get to the lake faster.
When he arrived, the view he saw made all his problems go away, there she was, in all her glory, swimming around, humming a song.
The girl didn’t noticed him arrive, too busy in her own world to hear the sound of his chained boots.
He walked closer to the water, leaning into it "Hello there, my Princess" he said in a low voice, reaching his right hand towards the startled girl "James! You came!" The girl cheerfully said before swimming towards her beloved pirate.
Now face to face, Hook carefully touched her chin before leaning in, giving her a tender kiss.
Pulling away, hook asked "i hope you havent been waiting long for me" as he stood up, carefully taking off his clothes, leaving only his boxer before diving into the water.
"I haven’t, dont worry, at least you're here now" y/n replied as she hugged her lover.
"Good. Bridget pissed Uliana off again and it took a lot longer than expected to calm her down" Hook said hugging her back, thinking about Uliana was starting to stress him out again and his girlfriend noticed it.
"Well, dont think about her now, think about me instead" she said flirtingly, causing the boy to chuckle before kissing her again.
Y/n didnt like Uliana at all, while she wasn't a target of her bullying, she felt really bad for poor Bridget, who just wanted to be friends with her, but instead get made fun of. Other than that, she didnt like the fact that she always stresses her boyfriend out.
The sun was already setting when the couple got out of water and put their clothes back on.
They layed on the ground cuddled up, y/n leaning on James chest as they watched the sunset.
"You think we'll be able to date freely, one day James?"
"One day, we will."
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The next time Hook was about to sneak away to meet his lovely mermaid, he got stopped by Maleficent.
"Mali- hi! Why arent you with Hades?" Hook chuckled nervously.
"Drop the act, Hook." Maleficent sneered.
"Wat are you talking about?" Hook was getting more nervous by the second.
"I know you're off to meet that little mermaid of yours, you're not slick" she scoffed.
"I have no idea what you're talking about"
"Im not dumb, i see you staring at her every time she's around." she scoffed.
"I-"
"-and i'm not the only one who noticed, Uliana is getting more suspicious every day, i suggest you stop seeing her, James, just for a little while." Maleficent said, her voice getting softer the more she observes her friend.
If Hook was nervous then, he was panicking now.
"What? No- i cant possibly-" Hook stumbled upon his words.
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"James, i have no problem with you seeing her, if you're happy with her then I'm happy for you, but you know how Uliana is, she finds out and she'll make her life a living hell before she makes yours one too. It's just until Uliana stops suspecting" Maleficent pats his back before leaving him alone.
Hooks stands at the exit of the Academy as he stared in the air, conflicted.
Y/n was getting worried, its been hours since she and Hook was supposed to meet, she's been out of the water since well before, just sitting down, staring into the forest, wondering if maybe Hook was just a late, bc of Uliana again, but as the sky got darker, there was still no sign of him.
Disappointed, she started her way back to the Academy.
The next day, during her free period, she roamed the halls of the school, in search of James, knowing he skips almost all of his classes. They barely ever meet within school grounds, too scared to be seen by others.
She stops as she notice a hooked figure sat against one of the trees in the courtyard, happy, y/n walked closer as she yelled "james! Where were you-" she stopped herself when her dear boyfriend, saw her and instead of greeting her, he rushed away from her.
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Weeks goes by and everyday, y/n slowly lost hope for them. Everytime she tried to talk to him and waited for him, her heart broke a little bit more.
As Bridget sang around the courtyard, giving out cupcakes along with the two new kids, Chloe and Red, she sat on a bench melancholically.
"What?" The girl watched with a broken heart as James disappear from her view.
As the VK's made their entrance, y/n stared at her boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend now, she assumes, with longing eyes.
On the other hand, Hook was trying not to look at her, afraid he might break and rush to her.
As Uliana chased Bridget and Ella out the courtyard with everyone else following, he hesitated, finally staring at his beloved mermaid, making eye contact with her after so long.
He watched as y/n stood up and started approaching him.
They stood face to face with each other, not saying anything.
"I- i'm so sor-" Hook raised his hands to cup her face when a familiar loud grunt was heard.
"you need to go, please." Hook managed to push her away before Uliana and the vk's saw her.
"SHE'LL PAY FOR THIS" was the last thing y/n heard before she left.
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The night of Castlecoming arrived and y/n didnt even want to go, but the dress she bought for this night was too expensive for her to not come. It was a dark red color to match Hook's suit for the night, it was supposed to be a surprise for him, her wearing his favorite color, but right now she regretted it.
She walked past happy students chatting about how excited they were, she wanted to roll her eyes at them, but she knew she was just bitter so she just sighed.
She didnt know what to do, she just stood there in the middle of the crowd not engaging with anyone, until Bridget came with Ella and greeted her.
"Y/N! Did you go with somrone?" Bridget said very happily, and hugged her, as if they were close, but she knew that was just how Bridget is.
"Oh! Hi, Bridget! Hi, Ella! And uh, no, no one asked me to be their date so im free for the night" y/n said, trying to hide the disappointment, but failed as Bridget noticed her expression.
"Oh...it's alright y/n, no one asked me too, i came here with Ella, you should hang with us" Bridget offered as Ella nodded her head.
"Oh no no, i wouldn't want to impose"
"You won't be, you'd make this night more bearable for me, trust me" Ella said jokingly making the other two laugh.
"Ask her to dance later" Maleficent whispered to him.
The three chatted for the whole night, y/n had fun just chatting with them, not even noticing a certain hooked man entering and staring at her from across the dance floor.
"What?" Hook asked confused.
"Ask her to dance later, dont worry about it" Maleficent smiled.
"What about-" Hook started.
"We'll take care of Uliana" she winked.
"We?"
"Yeah, 𝘸𝘦" Maleficent nodded her head towards Hades and Morgie, who nodded back at him with knowing smirks.
Hooks smiled back at them "Thanks, Mali"
As the night comes to its end, a final dance is presented to the students.
Hook went back to staring at the mermaid girl, with a new found feeling.
The dancefloor got cleared, only Charming, the crowned prince, remained as a slow song starts playing.
𝘚𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦
Everyone waited expectantly for him to approach someone.
Charming approached the three girls. Bridget and Y/n pushing Ella towards the prince.
𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘦
𝘐'𝘮 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘨𝘭𝘰𝘸, 𝘮𝘮
"Ella, may i have this dance"
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸
Y/n looked at the newly formed couple in the middle of the dance floor with so much happines yet envy. As she stared at them, she noticed a pair of eyes staring at her from across the dance floor.
"Yes" Ella said as charming lead her in the middle of the dance floor.
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘦𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦
It was as if the world stopped and it was just the two of them
All Hook could think was how beautiful she was, in that dress, in his favorite color.
Maleficent noticed his stare "go" she whispered.
Hook looked at her and she smiled at him, before turning back to the others.
"This is so boring, Uli, lets just go before i die of boredom" Maleficent groaned.
"Exactly, i wanna rip my ears out, this song is awful" Hades complained as he wraps his arms around Maleficent
"Yeah, Uli, i thought this was gonna be fun but it's just torture" Morgie whined.
"You're right." Uliana rolled her eyes before she turned away and went for the exit not caring who follows her.
"Go get her" Hades patted his back before leaving with the others.
No one else went to the dance floor, all endeared by the unexpected pair, thats why everyone gasped when the one and only James Hook, invaded the dance floor but his eyes was only set on one person, his beloved.
Y/n stared as Hook approached her.
The two stared at each other.
𝘪'𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘺
"May i have this dance, my love?" Hook asked in a soft voice.
Y/n just stared at him with an open mouth, before Bridget nudge her.
"Yes." She let out a breathe.
Hook beamed as he kissed her hand before leading her to the dance floor.
The two stared at each other with so much love and longing.
𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘭𝘦
"I love you, y/n l/n" Hook whispered.
"I love you too, James Hook" y/n said back with no hesitation, before they share their first kiss in front of everyone.
𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧
They didn't care when everyone gasped at the even more unexpected pair, all they cared was they were finally in each others arms again.
There's still so much they need to talk about, but that can wait for tomorrow, tonight is for them.
"So...this is love"
James said as he stared at her.
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starlazergazer · 4 months
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Figure Something Out
Pairing: Anakin x Reader
Request: I was wondering if you could make a enemies to lover where Anakin is madly in love with reader but wont admit it since he likes to mock and annoy her but the reader doesnt, like there are but they arent as strong as Anakins. So as time passes she starts to catch feelings for him and ends in fluff but its a little angsty too yk
Warnings: Swearing, Anakin being a bit of dick
Word Count: 7.5k (sorry not sorry we love a slow burn enemies/academic rivals to lovers)
A/N: Check the blog for a little update if you want but I really hope this was worth the wait! As always please please let me know what you think!
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Your eyes bounced fervently back and forth between your master’s and Anakin’s, not even bothering to hide the shock you were sure was etched into your expression. “You can’t be serious”
“Do I look like I’m joking” came your master’s quick reply, his tone alone enough to scold you for your loss in decorum, your posture snapping up reflexively as you schooled your face back to a more natural expression, unable to keep yourself from getting defensive.
“I just mean-“ the hurried deflection rolled off your tongue before you could stop it, your master’s unamused glare enough to keep the words from fully coming out. Taking a deep breath, you tried to better control yourself before you continued. “he’s a padawan, same seniority as me how could he train me?”
“He’s also standing right here” Anakin’s gruff voice proved he was just as thrilled about this assignment as you, though you barely spared him a glance, keeping your gaze locked onto your master’s, a silent plea for him to take it back.
“Padawan Skywalker is the best padawan with a saber by leagues I think he could be of great help to you” And you knew that tone your master used here, one he reserved to tell you he was done discussing the matter.
Dejectedly you finally let your gaze slip over to Anakin’s, offering him a tight-lipped smile “I appreciate your help Padawan Skywalker” you nearly choked on the words, having to force them out of your throat.
Anakin in response said nothing, his arms crossed defensively over his chest as he let his eyes rake your figure quickly, letting your words hang uncomfortably in the air until your master finally broke the silence.
“Truly padawan Skywalker we appreciate everything you do for us” He offered a small nod, clapping Anakin on the back.
“Of course master Koon” and you didn’t miss the way he offered your master a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, nor the way he was happy to return a comment to your master’s thanks but not your own. The two of you were already off to a great start to what was bound to be a very short apprenticeship.
With a small nod back in return Master Koon took his leave, leaving you and Anakin alone in the hallway, you looking up at the padawan expectantly, him pointedly avoiding your gaze as much as possible.
“Look” you drew his attention back to you with a sigh “neither of us want to be doing this so how about we just forget this and go our separate ways?”
He raised an eyebrow up at you in response, clearly unimpressed by your proposed solution “I told Master Koon I would help”
“And how noble of you to do so” you replied with a huff, crossing your arms over your chest to match his posture “but since you clearly want to spend as much time with me as I do you this felt mutually beneficial”
“I’ve seen you fight” he responded back with a small shake of his head “you very obviously do need the help”
“Believe me you’ve made it abundantly clear what you think of my fighting skills in training” you replied with a bitter laugh.
“When it takes your opponent less than a minute to get your saber out of your hand it’s hard to keep my comments to myself”
“It does not-“ and you cut yourself off before you could properly blow up, Anakin always having this weird affect on you, pushing you over the edge with little more than a tap. You weren’t letting him get to you that easily this time. With a deep breath you tried to collect yourself “Fine, when do you want to start?”
Anakin paused for a moment, doing nothing but survey you, probably curious as to why you hadn’t started biting his head off yet, but nonetheless continued “after dinner tonight, now come on we have battle strategies with master Kenobi”
“You were asked to help me train with my lightsaber, doesn’t mean you have to walk me to class from now on” you huffed but followed him down the hallway nonetheless.
“Then start jogging and we’ll call this training too” he answered with a shrug.
-
You sat back trying to listen to Obi-wan’s lecture, finding yourself for the first time ever in this class unable to pay attention to the lecture, instead your focused was solely on the person next to you.
Anakin has spent the last several years making his feelings towards you abundantly clear. If the chiding remarks, the mocking comments, the downright insults were anything to go by then you could easily say that he didn’t seem to like you that much. And you had to say by this point the feeling was mutual.
He’d spent all of his time in this class in particular sitting on the other side of the room, pointedly the chair that was just about as far away from you as possible, something you were sure the rest of the padawan’s had picked up on by this point. And that would explain why now that he not only showed up to class with you in tow but took a seat next to your usual one the entire rooms attention seemed to subtly shift in your direction.
Not that the room’s attention wasn’t usually in his direction if you were being honest. Anakin was the jedi council’s golden boy, the prophetic child that would bring balance to the force, as well as being a hell of a fighter with his light saber, and if you were being totally objective he wasn’t exactly hard on the eyes. All of this meant he had a natural sort of charisma that seemed to draw the unconscious attentive weight of a room in his direction, a weight that now sat squarely on your shoulders as well.
This new attention combined with Anakin’s incessant knee bouncing meant your focus was on just about anything but the lecture at hand.
“You know you don’t need to babysit me in every other part of jedi training” you whispered over to him, Anakin’s knee bouncing harmlessly against yours as he leaned in to listen and you fought the urge to pull your own back. Afterall this was your desk you weren’t about to contort yourself so he could be more comfortable.
“Is this why you need my help?” he responded with an annoying smirk, leaning in even more as he whispered “because you struggle to pay attention in class?”
You narrowed your eyes back at him in response “I’ll have you know-“
“Padawan Y/L/N, Skywalker” Obi-wan’s unamused voice broke through your whisper sharply, freezing you in place, your face now uncomfortably close to Anakin’s as every eye turned towards the two of you “is there something you would like to share with the class”
“no Master” Anakin answered quickly, righting himself just as you did.
“Perhaps some insight on the battle then?” Obi-wan goaded, gesturing to the holomap before him, amusement sparkling in his eyes as he watched his padawan squirm beneath his gaze.
“Well I-“ you could hear the lost tone in Anakin’s voice as he desperately searched for something to say, you having half a mind to let him sit in the hot seat before you let your eyes roam over the map, happy to see that you recognized the battle Obi-wan was walking you through.
“The republic’s army comes from behind” you offered before things could get too awkward, feeling Anakin’s gaze snap in your direction as you spoke “on that ridge over there, flanking the enemy forcing them to surrender”
Obi-wan’s gaze turned to yours with a warm smile as he nodded, no doubt knowing you would know the answer even if you hadn’t been paying complete attention, before he flicked it back to his padawan, raising his eyebrows slightly as he spoke “very good padawan Y/L/N”
He held Anakin’s gaze for a moment longer, an unspoken conversation happening between the two of them before Obi-wan continued lecture like usual, turning back to face the rest of the room.
Taking the opportunity you leaned back towards Anakin again “if there’s one thing I don’t need your help with, it’s this class”
The smirk made another appearance on his mouth as he looked down at you, but this one felt different than before, warmer somehow, as he nodded “noted princess”
-
Whatever confidence you had bolstered from battle strategies quickly left you the minute you got to saber training.
Anakin was already in the center of the room, feet planted squarely on the mat as he spun his saber effortlessly around his body, concentration etched onto his face though you could tell even from across the room that he was just having fun with it. What you wouldn’t give to be able to whip your saber around with such precision that it seemed almost careless.
“You gonna come fight or having too much fun back there enjoying the show?”
You detested the amusement in his voice as you realized you’d spent much too long staring at him from the doorway. Unable to think of much of a response, you immediately cast your gaze down to your shoes, blindly making your way towards the mat, unclipping the saber from your belt.
“What no training sticks?” You asked with a bitter laugh as you turned on your lightsaber, giving it a half hearted twirl in your hand as you set your stance.
“Don’t worry I’ll try not to hurt you” he winked back as he did the same, making you fight the urge to roll your eyes.
You waited for him to make the first attack, the two of you spinning in a circle around one another, each waiting for the other to strike first.
Not once did that stupid smirk fall from his face, frustration rising more and more within you with each step until you couldn’t take it anymore, deciding to suck it up and make the first move.
Swinging your saber down at him Anakin deflected the blow with little more than a flick of his wrist, barely moving from his original position no doubt in an attempt to show you how easily he could win if he wanted to. Fine, if that’s how he wants to play it.
You barely gave yourself time to recover before making another swing, Anakin deflecting with another simple movement, but you were back at it. Blow after blow Anakin’s saber met yours at every thrust effortlessly, but still you push forward, kept getting closer, not even noting that Anakin never bothered to take a step back. Not noticing how close you got to him until his empty hand shot out mid swing, capturing your wrist and disarming you with a twist, your saber now held tightly in his hand.
Before you could even comprehend what had happened he yanked hard on your arm, twisting you wildly until your back came crashing against his chest, one arm holding your saber and wrapping around your waist to pin you against him the other pressing his blade right up against your throat.
You could’ve screamed in frustration, at how easily he had pinned you, at how effortlessly he seemed to be able to block everything you threw at him, at how close and vulnerable you were now that he had you now pinned against him.
“What is this some game for you? Are you just toying with me?” You spat back at him, not bothering to hide the anger in your voice.
You heard a deep chuckle from behind you, could feel it ruminate up through his chest as it pressed you even further into his chest before he spoke, voice low and right in your ear, his breath tickling the shell of it with each word “I’m teaching you princess. Now use that big brain of yours and figure something out”
And you could’ve laughed at his so called advice, at how easy it is to tell someone to figure something out when you didn’t have a saber against your throat.
Instead you decided you were done fucking around.
Picking your foot up you slammed it down hard on the jedi’s left foot at the same time rearing your head back harshly to make contact with his nose, both attacks catching Anakin enough by surprise that he released his hold on you, stumbling back and releasing his grip on your saber enough that you could slip it from his grasp, pivoting on the spot and pointing the tip of the blade right at the jedi’s throat.
Anakin in response held his nose in his hand, pinching the bridge of it as he completely ignored your saber pointed at him, giving you a disappointed glare from overtop of it.
He sniffed and wiggled his nose before shaking his head and bating off your saber with his own half-heartedly “you know that trick won’t work anywhere but here”
“Good thing I don’t need it to work anywhere but here” you returned with a smirk, stepping back a few feet before dropping back into a fighting stance.
Anakin offered nothing more than a disappointed sigh before he dropped into a stance of his own, giving his nose one last check before he launched forward to attack.
You had no problem dodging each of his blows, your body always out of the way of the arc of his saber. The issue arose when it came to deflecting them. Swing after swing your saber was always there to meet his but the effort of stopping each of the jedi’s much more powerful swings had your arms shaking after mere minutes, your feet scrambling back to try and avoid the brunt of each blow as much as possible.
Anakin, however, seemed to zero in on your weakness immediately, never relenting as he swung again and again. You in response started to try and redirect each blow, hoping that redirecting the power of the swing would take the load off your arms.
That was until his saber seemed to hit yours at just the right speed, just the right angle, that the force of it reverberated down to your hands, your grip faltering for just a second but it was enough to have the cool metal of the hilt of your saber slip from your grasp.
Anakin hit immediately with another blow, effectively knocking your saber out of your hands.
You watched dejectedly as your saber slid out from your grasp and flew across the room. With a small sigh you held your empty hands up defensively ready for Anakin to sheath his saber and start listing off all the things you did wrong.
Instead you watched as Anakin stayed rigid in his position, lightsaber still held in front of you, knees still bent ready to strike.
“I get it, you win, I’ll get ‘em next time” you pushed mock enthusiasm into your voice as you started to make your way off the mat in the direction you saw your saber go when a blue column of light swung down just in front of you, barring your movement.
“So in an actual battle your plan is just to give up when you lose your lightsaber?” Anakin’s chiding voice had you gritting your teeth as your head snapped in his direction, little more than an amused smirk on his face as he talked “maybe offer your neck to the sith for an easy decapitation”
“No I’ll-“ frustrated words died in your throat as you sought an end for your sentence. You were tired, sweat had your robes sticking to your torso uncomfortably and every muscle you had burned, now was not the time for his mind games.
“You’ll what?” he pushed forwards, retracting his lightsaber so it now was held in that defensive position you were now all to used to seeing him in.
“I don’t know I’ll figure something out” you shot back, crossing your arms over your chest.
“Then figure something out” he goaded with a raised brow before striking, his saber moving slightly slower than you knew he was capable of, giving you plenty of time to side step out of the way.
“Okay I get it” you called back to him as you dodged another swing, taking a step back towards the edge of the mat “you’ve made your point”
“I’ve made my point when you stop thinking of this as just training” he shot back with another swing of his saber, pushing forward forcing you to take another step back “this isn’t just to get through training so you can advance in the jedi ranks this is about survival” another swing, another dodge and another step back “this is about making sure you stand a chance out on the battle field” you felt the floor beneath your heels start to give way, your toes balancing on the edge of the mat “this isn’t some game Y/N”
You felt your irritation grow within you with each word. You knew this wasn’t some game, you had been outside of the walls of the temple, you had been on a battle field, you knew you needed help with your fighting skills but who was he to decide after one day that you weren’t taking this seriously enough.
You watched as he set up for his next attack, as his foot landed far out in front of him as he lunged forward, the whole world seeming to slow around you as you side stepped the saber, Anakin’s hand sailing past you effortlessly. Without a second thought you seized his wrist, giving it a small twist in the wrong direction as you pulled him forward with it, effectively knocking the jedi off his balance.
Before he could realize what was happening Anakin was sailing forward, past you, to the ground below as you pivoted around to face him from atop the mat, his lightsaber now clutched firmly in your grasp.
Spinning slightly in the air so that his shoulder first made contact with the floor Anakin slid a few inches on the ground, coming to a stop on his back and looking up at you only to see his own lightsaber pointed down at his throat.
“Do you want to offer up your neck for an easy decapitation now?”
And to your surprise you heard nothing back but a laugh. A sound you didn’t think Anakin Skywalker was even capable of.
“That was good Y/N”
You felt your feet faulter beneath you, your knees nearly giving out, was that a compliment?
Your mind was still reeling as you shut down his saber and dropped it to the ground next to you, because Anakin Skywalker did not compliment you. Tease, chastise, bully sure he did all of those things but never compliment. And he certainly didn’t smile at you like he was doing now.
It was a weird sight to see, Anakin grinning from the ground below you, eyes twinkling slightly as his whole face changed with it, and to your horror you found a part of you liking the way it looked on him, as he extended his hand out to you.
Before you could even think better of it you reached out and grabbed his hand, helping to haul him to his feet, ignoring the slight tingle his touch left on your skin, blaming the way your cheeks felt hot beneath his gaze on the exertion of fighting him.
“You may never overpower your opponent but you’re fast” Anakin continued on as if nothing had changed, dusting himself off, the hint of a smile still playing on his lips as he talked “use that, dodge until you have them making sloppy attacks then strike as soon as you can”
It took you too long to notice that he was waiting for you to say something, little more coming out of your mouth than a half-hearted “yeah” that had his brows drawing in confusion.
Stooping slightly, he came down to your eyelevel, nose nearly close enough to touch your own, and for a brief moment staring deeply into each eye before shaking his head softly “that was probably too much for today wasn’t it”
Still you didn’t respond, not sure if you could’ve if you tried, for some reason unable to pull your gaze from Anakin as he looked at you, fluffy hair framing his face perfectly as if you hadn’t spent the last two hours dueling, as if you weren’t drenched in sweat.
Anakin frowned back in response, a single hand coming out to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear before he could think better of it. Then bending down and picking up his lightsaber from where you had dropped it “get some rest princess”
He spoke softly, softer than you had ever really heard him speak before he started to make his way towards the exit, leaving you standing on the edge of the mat, before he called out “I mean it, you did well today”
It was only after he left that it dawned on you, he had used your actual name.
-
Maybe it was naive of you to think that things could change so quickly.
That all it took was one decent lesson from him and the two of you could seamlessly slip into a weird sort of friendship.
Maybe you just wanted to believe you could put everything behind you so easily that you assumed he wanted to do the same.
You’d heard people gush about Anakin Skywalker before. About how helpful he could be, how nice, how charming.
You never got to meet that side of Anakin Skywalker, the man locking that part of himself from you practically the moment he met you. But you had really thought you were starting to see it these past few weeks.
The teasing comments had started to disappear, or they at least lost all their edge, coming off as more inside jokes than anything. He walked you to class every day, some days going out of his way to find you before he started to head in that direction. Your personal space found itself being invaded by him more and more, Anakin no longer going out of his way to put as much distance between the two of you as possible. Lingering touches, wandering eyes, inside jokes that had the two of you seeking out each others gaze in crowded rooms to silently revel in what was just said in a way only the two of you would understand.
Anakin Skywalker was quickly becoming your friend.
It was why when you got notified you were heading out on a mission to track down a bounty hunter with him for the first time ever you weren’t dreading the experience.
No you were actually excited.
Excited as you clipped your saber to your belt and headed out of your room.
Excited as you rounded the corner to head to your transport ship.
Excited as you stepped foot on the entrance ramp.
Excited as-
“I just don’t understand why she has to come with me”
It was as if a lead ball had dropped into your stomach. The excitement evaporating on the spot as a numbness took over and your step faltered, your body freezing in place just steps down from the ships entrance.
Because you knew that voice, but even worse you knew that tone. The anger, the contempt, the annoyance.
All it took was one simple phrase and you were ripped back into the same existence of just weeks ago before you had fallen for all of Anakin Skywalkers tricks.
“I agreed to train her and I’ve been doing that why does she have to hijack my missions now”
And you wished you could say his words didn’t affect you. Afterall just a few weeks ago you would’ve expected to hear them from him, you’d practically grown up hearing this resentment for merely existing in his vicinity.
Then why did they hurt so much now?
Why did they have a painful lump starting to grow in your throat?
Why did they make you wish the ground would swallow you whole on the spot?
Why did you ever think you could be friends with Anakin Skywalker?
“Yes master”
Anakin’s final words snapped you from your daze but still you had to force your legs to move you forward slowly, making sure that as Obi-wan exited the ship you were an appropriate distance back from the entrance.
He gave you a kind smile as he exited. As easy as it would have been to resent Obi-wan due to his proximity to Anakin you could never bring it upon yourself. “May the force be with you Y/N” he offered you with a small head bow.
“Thank you master Kenobi” you responded easily, mirroring his bow.
And he looked like he wanted to say more. Perhaps apologize for his padawan, perhaps offer parting words of wisdom, instead he seemed to swallow them, giving you one more slightly tense smile before departing, leaving you with no where to go but up the ramp.
Anakin’s eyes were on you the second you came into view, his face morphing too easily into a soft, friendly smile. “Hey, you ready?”
And it was the way he could flip the switch so easily, act so flawlessly that everything was okay, so effortlessly at ease.
Weeks ago you would have bit back, would’ve offered back some scathing comment, some backhanded remark. It was one thing that kept you from outright hating the young Skywalker. For every insult he spat you always had one to hurl back at him. He could insult you, berate you, belittle you, but you always came back swinging.
Right now though you didn’t have it in you.
You offered nothing more than a small nod of your head, not missing the way his smile morphed into a frown at it.
Maybe he was expecting you to say something, maybe he was gearing up for a fight, maybe he really thought you hadn’t heard him.
You couldn’t bring yourself to care what was running through his head at this moment.
You brushed past him towards the cockpit not missing the way his eyes never left you as you did so, not missing the way his hand hovered just over your arm, not missing the way he so hesitantly followed you.
You just had to get through this one mission and you could go back to ignoring Anakin Skywalker.
You weren’t as excited for that prospect as you thought you would be.
-
An involuntary hiss slipped past your lips the second your left foot hit the ground, your weight quickly shifting back to your right to avoid the pain, overcorrecting just enough to knock yourself off balance, all weight balanced dangerously on the edge of one foot as your arms reached out half-hazardly seeking anything solid to steady yourself.
Just before you could tip over another body slotted itself beside you, shoulders fluidly depositing themselves beneath your arm as another arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into Anakin’s slide as he swore quietly “I told you to stay put”
You laughed bitterly at that, forcing yourself to lean back away from him as much as possible even as the arm on your waist tightened, his other hand clipping his saber to his belt so that it could come up and grab the hand he had thrown around his shoulders, effectively pinning you to his side as he started to drag you back to the wall “Yeah sure so you can just leave me”
You felt him still at your words, the grip on your hand and waist slackening for a second as your words seemed to hit him physically, your position keeping you from properly viewing his face as his voice came out softer than you had ever heard him “I wouldn’t do that”
His tone caught you by surprise. If there was one thing you knew about Anakin Skywalker it was that the man was loud, the way he carried himself, spoke, hell the way he flew reeked of confidence to the point of arrogance. Anakin was anything but the soft, almost vulnerable tone that just left him.
And you felt a part of you already starting to reach out to him, ready to pull him into your side and assure him that you knew that, assure him that you knew he was a good person, to tell him that you trusted him.
But another part of you couldn’t give up the way he tried bench you. How after everything you had been through: all the training, the way he seemed to go out of his way to be nice to you lately, how everything seemed to be looking up, he still thought you were nothing more than a nuisance, a less than.
Less than capable, less than a good jedi, less than an apt fighter, less than worthy of his trust.
His motion continued after the brief pause, the two of you finally reaching the wall and Anakin taking care to slowly set you down against it, a hand supporting your calf as you squatted down, careful to keep your foot off the ground.
“You’re right that’s probably a touch too far even for you, so instead you want to what scold me for getting in your way? Tell me I’m a shitty jedi for getting myself injured? Pull my hair and call me ugly?”
Anakin only sighed in response, one hand coming up to tangle his fingers in his hair as the other planted on his hip, Anakin doing nothing but looking down at you in your position on the floor. “why are you always so determined to see the worst in me?”
Again the softness in his tone gave you pause, the sincerity in it something you had only gotten used to in the past few weeks. “Anakin that’s all you’ve ever shown me”
“not lately” his reply came out rushed, a note of exasperation crawling its way onto his voice “lately we were good. At least I thought we were good”
You debated your next words for a second, debated how much vulnerability you were ready to show to the man who has been nothing but hot and cold with you for the past few weeks “I thought we were too”
“so what happened?”
“You tried to get me kicked off this mission” your answer was quick and blunt, eyes immediately picking up on the way his brow furrowed “don’t even try to deny it I heard you-“
“No that’s not-“ he cut you off quickly, letting out a frustrated sigh before continuing “I was trying to do the right thing”
“The right thing?” you echoed back now furrowing your own brow.
“You coming here was an unnecessary risk-“
“ah so you still don’t trust me” you interjected quickly, watching closely the way his entire body seemed to recoil at your words.
“What no-“
“we’ve spent weeks training, you’ve given me good advice, I’ve gotten better you’ve said so yourself. So I don’t get why you still don’t-“
“it’s not that-“
“So then what you still can’t stand to be alone with me for that long?”
“Y/N!” he finally cut you off with a small shout, crouching down in front of you close enough that he nearly occupied your entire field of vision, physically forcing you to pay attention to him rather than let your mind run any longer. “I was just trying to protect you”
Your eyes bounced back and forth between his for a moment, trying to decern the truth, trying to find the underlying meaning. “I don’t know why you think I need your protection. I can handle myself”
Another dejected sigh from Anakin, neither of you moving for a tense few seconds before you heard a muttered “forget it” underneath his breath as he pushed himself up to a standing position.
“we need to get out of here” he offered a hand to you, helping you stand though kept his gaze planted on the back door of the building “we’ll stick to the alleyways and use nothing but blasters if we have to, the sabers will be a dead giveaway”
And though you wanted to push the subject more you knew he was right, get yourself through this mission and you could go back to avoiding Anakin Skywalker. It had quickly become a mantra for you.
You let him pull you softly out the back door, Anakin carefully checking around each corner before ushering you forward, helping you hobble on your one good leg slowly back towards your ship. That was until you heard an eerily familiar voice around the next bend.
“Find the jedi scum and bring them to me. The separatists have plans so I want them alive do you understand me?”
Anakin didn’t hesitate before pushing you back against the nearest wall, using his own body to try and shield yours from view as he pinned you against it, one arm bracing himself against it just over your head.
You looked up at him with wide eyes as the two of you listened intently, footsteps slowly drawing much too close for your comfort.
From this distance you could clearly see the set in Anakin’s jaw as he kept his eyes planted at the nearest corner, muscles tense ready to pounce at a moments notice. That was when the thought struck you.
“Quick kiss me”
Anakin’s entire body froze at your words, his eyes snapping to meet yours blown wide in confusion and shock.
“Come across two people kissing in an alleyway they’re certainly not going to expect them to be jedi so quick” You explained in a harsh whisper, giving his robes a quick tug.
Anakin, however, stayed rooted in place, elbow on his arm planted on the wall locking in place to prevent him from getting any closer to you, wide eyes cemented on your face as his chest didn’t even rise with breath.
“Ani quick” you hissed, trying to snap him out of whatever trance he was in.
The footsteps continued to grow louder, the soft drag of a heel against the pavement your only indication that they were steps away from your hiding spot.
Anakin still didn’t respond, gave no indication that he had heard you after your first command. To no avail you tried to silently beg him to move with your eyes.
“Hey what’re you-“
That was all you let them get out before you made your next decision, grabbing for the blaster on Anakin’s hip you aimed and fired, the shot hitting them square in the forehead sending the hunter to the ground before they could even finish their question.
The blaster noise seemed to finally snap Anakin out of it, a soft shake to the Jedi’s head being the only indication that anything had been wrong as he wordlessly pushed himself off of you and snapped his gaze down to the dead man before you.
“What the fuck was that Anakin?” You hissed, giving his chest a small shove.
Anakin’s eyes, however, never strayed from the unconscious body beneath your feet, his chest heaving with each breath as he kept his jaw locked in place.
“Anakin” you tried calling his name again, another push to his chest, still his eyes never strayed from the ground, his body staggering slightly as he let you push him “you blew our cover and because what? You’re so disgusted by me you can’t put up with one stupid kiss for half a second?”
Finally you got a reaction, his stark blue eyes finally snapping up to meet yours, a steel hard gaze you weren’t entirely prepared for, eyes that begged you to drop it.
You couldn’t help but laugh bitterly at his look, limping a few steps back from him as you shook your head, the heels of your palms coming up to dig tiredly into your eyes “Even after all that’s happened you really still hate me so much you’d jeopardize the mission to get out of a kiss”
“It can’t happen like that” His voice surprised you, the words in of themselves confusing but his tone throwing you off more than anything, an almost pained ring in it sending you sparling.
“What?”
A quiet swear from under his breath as he started to pace “Our first” he called louder, as if that were an  explanation, his hands clenching at his sides “It shouldn’t happen like that, it can’t”
And you could feel the frustration start to rise within you, the anger from his inaction ebbing to confusion “Ani slow down what is happening right now”
The nickname seemed to have the desired effect, his pace slowing to a soft stop, eyes snapping up to meet yours once again, an almost guilty expression on his face as he stood before you, Anakin Skywalker looking almost small before you for the first time ever “Do you know how many times I’ve thought of it?” he asked you softly, an anxious hand running through his hair as his eyes broke to look at anything but you “How many times I almost just-“ and he cut himself off with a sigh, a soft shake in his head as he looked down at his shoes, a small scoff escaping before he continued “to think that the first time it would happen was to maintain some stupid cover. That it didn’t mean anything. I couldn’t do it”
A part of your brain was lighting up with realization, another part pushing it back down with denial. He couldn’t be talking about kissing you, not now, not after sending you years of signals that said otherwise “Anakin what are you saying?”
His eyes connected with yours again, a pained expression and a small tilt of his head telling you to stop pretending you didn’t know, begging you to move past faking obliviousness.
But still a part of you was reeling back, sending a huff of air through your nose as you shook your head “How many times could you have really thought about it, you just started being nice to me a week ago”
“Years worth” the words came out on his next exhale, a small shrug in his shoulder as he answered “at least since we were nine”
But that didn’t make any sense, that couldn’t possibly be true “This isn’t funny”
A small bitter laugh escaped him in response, a soft shake of his head as he spoke “believe me sweetheart I’m not laughing”
You barely registered the words, your mind already reeling as it went over every thing he’s ever said to you since then, “you’ve been nothing but mean to me since I’ve met you” your words were soft, spoken more to yourself than to him but still Anakin opened his mouth to respond, your voice cutting him off before he could “always criticizing me in front of the masters, mocking my attempts to learn, making me doubt my own abilities”
“I’m sorry”
And some part of your brain registered that those were not words Anakin used lightly, knew the weight those words held for him. Another part knew it still wasn’t enough.
“You’re sorry?” You scoffed “you made me dread every moment I had to spend in your presence for years and the best you have is I’m sorry?”
Anakin had no response to that, his jaw visibly clenching as he fought to maintain eye contact with you, but no words came, he had no excuse, no real way to make up for it, and you both knew it.
“Why?” and the question shouldn’t matter to you, the ends didn’t justify the means, they couldn’t, but still you needed to know.
Anakin took a second, drawing in a deep breath as his gaze shifted to your feet, a small shrug of one shoulder before he answered “I wanted to get your attention”
And like that you were ready to start yelling again, because surely it wasn’t that simple, surely Anakin wasn’t that stupid, that childish. Instead, he continued on.
“I don’t think I realized that was what it was at first, just knew I liked it when you got in my face and pushed back, liked when you got so wrapped up in me that the rest of the world ceased to exist for a little bit” another pause, another deep breath “then once I figured it out I knew I needed to shut it down, the code meant I couldn’t get close, couldn’t form attachments. Pissing you off felt like a good way to keep you at arm’s length while still getting you to notice me”
A million different emotions swirled around inside of you, each trying to claw their way to the surface. You wanted to yell at him, tell him how stupid that was, berate him for having the emotional regulation skills of a child. You wanted to stay silent, let him stew in his miserly, in his guilt. You wanted to cry, the catharsis, the confusion, the mix of conflicting emotions all welling up inside of you, overwhelming you.
Instead, you spoke softly, your voice sounding almost hollow on your own ears “you know when you first came to the temple all the other kid’s thought you were weird”
Anakin’s gaze shot up to meet yours, a slight furrow in his brow as he tried to figure out where you were going with this.
“Looking back I think they were just jealous. You came in later than the rest of us but you already had a master, Obi-wan Kenobi at that, and you already had the councils attention, so they all tried to stay away from you” you took a deep breath, swallowing down the slight shake in it “I thought that was dumb and that I was going to be your friend so I went up to you and I was nice. And at first I thought you were nice. Maker I was so excited to make a new friend and then the next time I saw you it was like a switch had been flipped” Anakin’s disappointed sigh barely registered as you continued “so I tried to be funny, then entertaining, then chill. I tried everything I could to be someone who was worth your time”
You could practically hear Anakin’s teeth grinding as he clenched his fist at his side, leaning back to slump against the wall as he thought for a moment before speaking.
“When I first got to the temple I was scared.” He admitted softly, gaze casted out blankly to the wall on the other side of the alley “I had just lost Qui-Gon, the council didn’t seem to like me, I missed my mother. Then out of nowhere this beautiful girl my age came up to me, took my hand and told me that it was going to be okay, that I was going to be okay, and she said it with such conviction that I couldn’t help but believe her”
You waited with bated breath for him to go on, for him to fill in the gaps of your own story.
“Then what the council said to me about fear hit and I became ashamed of having been a coward, ashamed of needing someone to hold my hand, ashamed of being weak”
You couldn’t have stopped the small chuckle from escaping if you had tried “Anakin you are a lot of things but weak isn’t one of them”
He finally met your gaze at the sound, the corner of his lips tilting up in response “I certainly made sure it appeared that way”
Another silence blanketed the two of you as you each digested the others story, Anakin finally breaking it with a soft chuckle “you were an intimidating kid you know that?”
“I was not” you denied it with an easy shake of your head, barely giving the statement any thought.
“you were” he persisted nonetheless “you were the perfect jedi student, Obi-wan was always on me about being more like you. Listening to him better, meditating better, paying more attention in class”
“Bet that didn’t help the whole hating me thing” there was no resentment in your voice, a soft understanding if anything.
“Don’t you get it sweetheart” he smiled sadly “I’ve never hated you. I’m not sure I could if I tried”
You shook your head softly at that, eyes casted out over the alley around you, speaking after another short beat “come on Skywalker, let’s get back to the ship”
Anakin stayed leaned against the wall for another moment, giving himself a pause to study you before he pushed himself up and offered you his arm to help you walk with a small nod.
You hobbled further down the ally with his help, nothing but the sounds of your deep breaths until you spoke in little more than a whisper “you know you were so busy ‘not hating’ me I don’t think I ever got to know the real Anakin Skywalker”
There was a slight pause in his step at your words, his eyes shooting to the side to meet yours as he raised a brow “are you sure you want to?”
“If he’s anything like the man I’ve been around for the past few weeks” you answered with a small shrug “then yeah. I really do”
Anakin’s face broke out into a wide grin at your words, and you found yourself admiring it once again, for the first time your own mind remaining quiet as you did rather than chastising you for it as usual.
“I’ll try not to disappoint Y/N”
You chuckled softly at that, “Given your previous experience you’ve set the bar exceptionally low” you pointed out giving his shoulder a playful shove “ but I’ll hold you to that”
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stevie-petey · 8 months
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pretty girl
“Unfair. I was at least–” he breathes out sharply as you begin to suck lazily just below his jaw. “I was gentle, pretty girl. This just, fuck, this feels like torture.” “Shush and let me kiss you, Stevie.”
Summary: steve has to get his daily kiss quota in somehow, right?
Rating: general, makeout session, cursing
Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, slight neck kink if u arent into that, mild makeout session (so so so mild tho) - not proofread, i just kinda wrote so pls ignore typos lmao
Words: 1.1k
Before you swing in: hello ! i was in a bit of a lovey dovey mood, and while i adore writing come home, i simply couldnt bring myself to write more repressed feelings tonight. so, heres a quick lil boyfriend!steve blurb. it isnt at all correlated with come home (although if u squint ... maybe) its just me being so engrossed in my current crush and needing to be severely kissed. rip. anyways, enjoy !
-
Every night, Steve throws rocks outside your window. 
The rocks pang softly against the glass, one after another, as they bounce harmlessly on their endeavor to get your attention. 
Every night, you answer. 
“What ails you tonight, Harrington?” You’ve opened your window now, leaning your head out so that you can see the boy standing below. 
He winks at you. “The usual.”
“Hm,” you rest your elbows against the wooden panel encasing your window. “How many do you need this time?”
“Hard to say, but if I had to guess… A million, honestly.”
You laugh. “A million, huh?”
“Maybe even more.” Steve smiles up at you, admiring how the moonlight frames your pretty face, making it even softer than he ever thought possible. It takes his breath away for a second, knowing how the face staring down at him is the same face that stares up at him whenever morning comes. 
“Give me five minutes, lovely.”
Steve smiles at the nickname, letting it warm his face as well as his bones. “I’ll go warm up the car.”
You wave, blowing the boy a quick kiss, before closing your window to go over to your dresser. The top drawer has long come to contain your nighttime adventure outfits with Steve. A simple pair of sweatpants and his hoodie that you stole years ago but never gave back. 
He knows you have it still, but you know he secretly loves seeing you wear it. 
As soon as you’re ready, slippers and all, you quietly run down your stairs so you don’t disturb your parents and unlock the front door. The lock clicks harshly against the night’s quietness, but with one smooth turn you manage to undo the lock and open the door. 
Steve, true to his word, is waiting in his car with the heat blasting, just the way you like it. 
It’s winter, early January, and school hasn’t quite started back up yet. 
The second you approach the car, Steve gets out and walks to the passenger side so that he can open it before you even touch its handle. You scoff at the overdramatic mannerisms, but blush nonetheless. 
“I can open my own door, Steve.”
He shrugs. “Sure, but you’re beautiful and I love you.”
The words fall freely from his lips, and you intertwine your hand behind his neck and pull his lips flushed against yours. He hums into it, pulls you so that your chests are engulfed together and your legs stumble and enclose around his. It’s messy, your other hand clutches at Steve’s jacket and he relishes in the way your knuckles tighten around him. 
“One down, a million more to go.” Steve whispers against your lips. 
You laugh, throwing your head back and he watches the sight of it all. How your neck lengthens as you laugh, the way your hair cascades behind you and the way your eyes crinkle shut. You put on a whole show for him, and he can’t get enough of it. 
“You really think we can get through a million kisses tonight?” You ask, nudging your nose against the length of Steve’s jaw. 
He shivers. “Got a few ways I think we can manage that.”
You pull away now, though you keep your hand at the nape of his neck. “At least take a girl on a date first.”
“I’m trying, pretty girl.” He gestures toward the car, its engine humming softly. You roll your eyes, but when Steve finally opens the passenger door, you reluctantly let go of him and sit down. “Atta girl, Y/N.”
Before you can huff at him for the nickname, Steve gently closes the door and heads over to his own driver’s side. He opens the door, the warm air escaping a bit, and as soon as Steve is in the car he tugs at your hoodie (his hoodie) and once again you’re kissing. 
It’s longer this time, languid and lingering. He brings a hand up to your cheek and his thumb strokes the high point in a fluid back and forth motion. You lean deeper into him, your own hands coming up to his chest as if you could bring him any closer to you. 
Steve nips at your bottom lip and you let him in, you always let him in. 
You gasp as he sucks on the lip and you feel him smile at your reaction. With one hand still caressing your cheek, his other hand comes up to the base of your neck. It’s warm, he’s always so warm, and his calloused fingers find their usual place, splayed across both sides of your neck. His palm settles just above your collarbones and your breath hitches. 
“Steve…” You exhale his name, as if it were a prayer. 
He pulls away a little, his eyes a molten honey color in the moonlight. “Yes, pretty girl?”
You turn your head and press a kiss against the hand still on your cheek. “Three down, 999,999,997 to go.”
“Make that four,” Steve presses a kiss to your nose, then your cheek, then to the tips of your eyelashes. “Now eight.”
You giggle as he presses another kiss to your temple and then your ear. He’s everywhere, now, peppering kisses on every inch of skin he can find. “And here, and here, and here…”
Steve goes down to your neck now, his nose trailing down the bare skin, making you shiver, and his kisses are so soft. Despite his teasing and the hold he still has on your neck, his lips leave a trail so soft and sanguine against your skin that they burn like whiskey. 
He reaches for your hand now, bringing the length of your arm up to his face, and just before he presses even more kisses against you, you laugh and pull your arm back. Steve starts to whine, unhappy with his kisses being interrupted, but you comb your fingers through his hair. 
“Seems unfair to make you do all the work, lovely.”
Steve’s lips are red and swollen from earlier, they almost distract you from his response. “Shush and let me kiss you.”
He tries to duck his head back down to your neck for more, but you stop him. “Nuh-uh. My turn.”
Before Steve can argue some more, you tug at his jacket, and because you’ve caught him off guard, he falls so far forward that his neck is open for the taking. You press your own kisses against it, connecting the moles that litter his skin with a kiss, and Steve exhales shakily as you do so. 
“Unfair. I was at least–” he breathes out sharply as you begin to suck lazily just below his jaw. “I was gentle, pretty girl. This just, fuck, this feels like torture.”
“Shush and let me kiss you, Stevie.”
Steve’s hand tightens around your neck as the other flies up to your head, pressing you further into his neck as you suck on a spot that he particularly likes. “Yeah… Fuck, okay. Shutting up now.”
-
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spyder-junkie · 1 year
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EARTH 42 MILES MORALES X READER Part 3
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4
this one was short because we’re bringing mama Rio in the next part
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The next thing you notice about miles is he is NOTT a good texter.
nonetheless, you work with him, trying your best to pick a day where your schedules to meet up.
“Dont worry about it, mami. Just be cute when I get there.” Miles’ voice rings out through the phone as you look for an outfit. You can hear the clicking of his game controller through the phone.
Its 12:00pm right now, Miles was coming to you meet you at 1:30
“Mkay.” You mumbled, putting different shirts up to your chest in the mirror.
“Ill see you when you get here.” You say, looking at the phone.
“nos vemos pronto, hermosa.” He says, hanging up the phone.
you take extra care while getting ready. You were not quite sure if this was a date, but spending the day with Miles still had your stomach in a twist.
You close the clasp on your necklace just as your phone dings with a text from miles.
You grab your bag, jogging through your apartment to the front door.
Miles bares a little smile when your eyes meet his.
“You look nice, ma” He says, stepping aside so you can lock the door behind yourself.
“Youre not too bad yourself.” You smile,
Miles leads you away from your apartment building and down the block. Its mildly warm outside, and the sun is out.
As you walk to begin to notice Miles’ hand continuously brushing yours. Then slowly his fingers crawl into your palm until your hands are clasped together.
You look over at miles, who is exaggeratedly looking at the sky and pretending to whistle with a goofy smile.
You giggle, holding his hand tightly.
You didnt even know Miles had a sense of humor.
“You feelin’ icecream?” He asks suddenly, pointing to an icecream spot on the strip.
“Always.” You reply, letting him lead you inside.
The place is cute, summer beach themed, and empty momentarily.
Miles smirks down at you as you browse all the flavors in the display case.
“What are you gonna get?” You ask, not looking away from the glass.
“Vanilla.” Miles’ answer is quick.
“What? Thats so borninggg.” You say.
“I havent really gotten into crazy flavors.” He shrugs.
You shake your head.
“Pick a flavor for me then.”
You look back at him, then at the case again.
You choose brownie for yourself, and cookies and cream for Miles.
And as soon as the woman behind the counter hands you the cones, Miles is at the counter, paying for the both of you before you can protest.
The two of you find a bench down the block to sit at afterwards, enjoying your ice creams peacefully.
“You like it?” You ask, gesturing to his icecream.
“Mhm, its real sweet.” He says
“Wanna try?” He extends his cone towards you.
You shyly take a lick from his ice cream, savoring the flavor thoughtfully.
“Its good.” You smile.
“Wanna try mine?” Miles doesn’t think too hard about it, pulling in a bit of yours with his lips.
His face scrunchs up for a moment.
“Yours is MAD sweet.” He says.
“You dont like sweet things?” You ask, turning to face him on the bench.
“I like you.” He says suddenly.
“But nah, im not huge on sweets.” He goes back to eating his ice cream
The two of you go to a park afterwards, spending the day outside.
Youre still there just as the sun begins to set.
“Its gonna be dark soon.” You say, staring up at the sky with your head in Miles’s lap. He was seated upright on the grass, you laid against him.
“Imma walk you home, ma.” Miles says, looking down at you, while you watch the sky.
“Gonna make sure there arent any more men following me?” You joke.
“That shit wont happen again, not while Ive got you.”
And he means it.
He keeps his hand in yours on the walk home, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb.
When the two of you reach your door, hes giving you a pretty smile.
“Be careful, okay?” Miles’ eyes widen as you press a small kiss to his cheek.
“Im always careful.” He says, pressing his hand to his cheek
you give him a flat stare.
“Aight aight, not always. Mi mal, hermosa.”
You shake your head, wishing him goodbye with a warm smile.
tags: @kezibear @urmotherswhor3 @ladylovegood-69 @thetoetickler @cumbermovels @cozmicwonder @yams-ley @sh-tposter2021 @vampjacinda @roadkillmeal @animechick555 @the-smut-plug @iluvdi0r @stevenknightmarc @yoashh @kitsunna @caffeine-mess @arachnenotes @erensbbg @nightshxdex @el-chiste @3alvatore @sh-tposter2021 @miatjie @agstuffsworld @ella34435 @iluvdi0r @pulling-out-my-eyes @vakiui @bigpepperpicker @swaggybae @tsukisaiki @osebb
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