STAY AWHILE. steve harrington
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summary: meeting the one who could make your heart stop whilst simultaneously being the reason why your heart beats is rare, and steve just so happens to be one of the lucky ones who found them during a slow monday in family video.
warnings: no major s4 spoilers, just a love-sick steve. gif credits to @emziess
word count: 4.3k
steve groans in despair.
it was barely a busy day in family video. it usually wasn’t during mondays.
he throws the stress ball against the wall and lets it bounce back into his grasp. robin was out back, it was her turn to rewind tapes and place them back on their respective shelves while he was stuck at the counter.
when he doesn't manage to catch it, he doesn’t bother getting up to grab it. instead, he calls out, “hey, robin?”
without waiting for her response, he eventually decides to meddle in his coworker’s love life. “do you know what i just found out about vickie today?”
there was a pause. a beat, just before robin responds, “yeah? — actually, no, i don’t think i want to know.”
“she,” he stops for a bit of a dramatic effect. “returned fast times paused at 53 minutes and 5 seconds and—“
“so? m-maybe she realized that she didn’t like fast times exactly at 53 minutes and 5 seconds so—“
“and do you know who pauses fast times at 53 minutes and 5 seconds?” he asks, waiting for a reply. but when it doesn’t come, he swivels in his chair and answers himself. “people who like boobies, robin!”
“ew! gross. don’t say—“
“boobies!”
“—boobies.”
“and it’s not a big deal, okay?” steve reassures, sending her a knowing grin. “i like boobies. you like boobies.”
“vickie likes boobies. definitely.” he exclaims, swiveling around in his chair again as the overhead bell notifies him of a customer. “it’s… boobies…”
and that was when he caught sight of you; headphones on as you twirl the wire, heading straight towards the romance section. there was a glow that seemed to follow you, and if you were going to ask him, it wasn’t because of the shitty lighting of family video, it was because he thinks you’re an angel.
steve’s breath got caught in his throat and he believes that his heart was just robbed out of his chest. he slowly puts his hand on his chest, just right where his heart is supposed to be, and surely enough, it is still there, gradually beating rapidly as he continues to stare at you.
“…teve… steve… steve!” he snaps out of his trance when something hits his head. his gaze falls on the ball bouncing on the floor. he looks up to see robin looking at him with a question mark above her head.
“are you even listening?”
steve didn’t even bother responding to her as he started making his way towards you. he could still faintly hear music playing from your headphones around your neck as he stopped by beside you.
“uhm, busy night?” he questions, awkwardly posing by the shelves. he leans all of his weight against it, bicep rippling, but it’s a beat before he realizes how much he’s performing for you — he’s downright smitten and downright cringing.
from the counter, robin frowns as she looks at you and then at her best friend. “damn it, steve,” she mutters, walking back to the break room as she mumbles something about how it should have been her instead of him.
“uh, yeah, you could say that,” you respond, letting your eyes linger a little longer in the romance section as you head straight towards the new releases. “i mean, if you count eating a tub of ice cream whilst escaping the cruel reality of real life type-of-busy, then yes.”
“well, if it’s any help, i would recommend-” he plucks a random movie from the shelf and looks at the cover. “ah, the breakfast club. this is a must-watch. it’s filled with romance, friendship, and a little bit of a high school adventure.”
you look at his name tag then back at him with a grin, and he swears he could melt into a puddle right then and there. “and you’re sure i’ll like it, steve?”
“oh, no, sweetheart, you won’t like it. you’ll love it.” he doesn’t know where the pet name came from but the way it easily rolled out of his tongue convinces him that it feels just right.
you ignore the heat rising up to your cheeks as you snatch the vhs off his hands. “and if i don’t end up loving it?”
“well, then i guess i’d have to make it up to you,” steve shrugs, feigning nonchalance. “but if you do end up loving it, then… then the new diner downtown sounds good for a first date, right?”
you purse your lips trying to hide the smile that threatens to spread as you make your way towards the counter. “you better start praying to the stars, steve, because i’d be really disappointed if i wind up hating it.”
he grins at your words, making his way around to ring up your selected films. as soon as it was bagged up and ready to go, neither of you felt like saying goodbye yet but alas, you had a movie to critique.
steve walks you to the exit and opens the door for you, like the gentleman he is.
“i’ll see you around, steve.”
“see you later… alligator.” it was then that steve realized that he never caught your name. he spews out silent curses as he closes the door, but nevertheless, he runs straight to the break room and steals the marker in robin’s hand.
“hey!”
YOU SUCK - IIIIIIIIIIII
YOU RULE - I
“no way!” robin exclaims at the tally. “i will never believe that you just made that happen.”
“oh, you better start believin’, rob, cause i’m back in the game, baby!”
steve runs straight into the family video’s entrance, dramatically opening both doors with a bit of force. his hair flops up and down slightly as he pants, “anything yet?”
robin pops her head out of one of the shelves she’s been organizing. “nope.”
steve lets out a heavy sigh. with every day that you don’t return, his heart that he once thought was stolen was slowly countered in small damaged boxes. no bubble wrap, no fragile warning, nothing that would ensure that it was handled with care. “it’s nearly been a week, robin.”
“well, if it’s any consolation, i think you’re a great guy, steve. it’s her loss anyway, who in the right mind would miss out on the opportunity to go out with king steve? especially with that babe-slaying hair.”
“very funny.” steve mocks a sarcastic laugh, rolling his eyes. he goes over to robin with a drag in his steps. “it’s just that- i really thought she would be the one, you know? there was something about her that just… pulled me in. she’s not like any other girl i’ve ever seen, robin.”
“she’s- she’s a goddess. an angel. it’s like she was made to make up for the world’s imperfections, like every flaw in humanity does not matter because she graces every ground she walks on,” he continues. “it’s hard to believe that we’re even breathing the same air as her. it’s-“
before he can go on with his poetic spiel, keith leans against his office doorway and says, “i knew it was your dulcet tones i heard, harrington.”
steve and robin simultaneously roll their eyes, getting back to organizing.
“a girl dropped by the other day looking for you, by the way.”
steve freezes. “girl? what girl, keith?”
“dunno, was a pretty one though,” he winks, munching on his cheezy chips. “if she didn’t nearly bite m’head off, i woulda kept her for myself. anyway, there’s some shit she left for you, it’s in here with the tapes i told you to rewind decades ago-“
before he could even finish, steve runs towards his office, effectively knocking over the human-sized cardboard cutout of phoebe cates.
and just as keith said, the breakfast club vhs, alongside the other films you picked, was neatly stacked in the corner of his office. there was a folded beige card taped on top of it.
—— ✦
I.O.U. a date.
redeemable for… a romantic milkshake for two at kelly’s diner on the 21st of may. 7 pm sharp.
to: steve (with the killer hair)
from: y/n (sweetheart)
p.s. don’t be late, romeo :-)
—— ✦
steve blinks. and then again. and once more for extra measures, just to make sure he wasn’t making it up. he reads your name, and then aloud as if testing the way it rolls on his tongue. he’s never seen a name that suited a person like it did with you.
steve feels robin’s presence beside him before he sees her. “you see this, too, right?”
she hums.
“… and do you know what this means?”
robin groans.
YOU SUCK - IIIIIIIIIIII
YOU RULE - II
it takes steve a while to realize that today is the 21st of may. he blames keith for his lack of preparation. what is he supposed to wear? something simple? casual? smart casual? he knows kelly’s milkshake shack was straightforward, but nothing too bad for him to worry about.
he was worried about how to impress you. what type of flowers do you like? do you even like flowers? what type of chocolates do you love? do you love the milky ones? dark chocolate? the one with almonds? what if you’re allergic to chocolates? but even then, steve thinks flowers and chocolates aren't enough for you.
you deserve the world, the stars, and the moon. you deserve it and more. but what a pity it is that this gesture of adoration and worship is what the world would deem unreachable. unrealistic. superfluous.
nothing is superfluous for you, he thinks. despite that, steve decides to stick with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. nothing could go wrong with that now, could it? he questions himself as he starts his trek to the flower shop a few blocks down.
the first thing that he notices is the soft music playing on the record player. the second thing he noticed is how every flower is blooming and twinkling, not a fading one in sight. the last thing he noticed was the lack of a clerk at the counter.
“uhm, hello?” he calls out hesitantly.
muffled but still coherent, he receives a response from the back room. “one second!”
there was something about her voice that sounded familiar, and yet he couldn’t pinpoint who it could be. he shrugs it off. whilst waiting, he takes a look around the shop, criticizing which would be the perfect pick.
“what flowers do you have in mind?” the voice calls out once more. he could hear some shuffling on the other side.
“i was actually hoping you could help me out.” steve replies somewhat bashfully. “maybe something that’s simple but breathtaking? like nothing too extravagant but something… ethereal.”
he wasn’t sure if they caught what he just said, but before he knew it, the curtain separating the rooms was drawn.
“busy night?”
steve stops shuffling through the vinyls and spins on his heels. “oh, yeah, scored a date with the prettiest girl in-“
you grin at the astounded boy in front of you, eyes wide and jaw slack. you delicately push the bouquet of pretty pink chrysanthemums and yellow dwarf sunflower in his hands, grinning up at him like a tease. “you were saying something about scoring a date with the prettiest girl in hawkins?”
“i- wha?”
“chrysanthemums symbolize devoted love, loyalty, happiness, and these lil sunflowers symbolize adoration.” you state. “i love the sentiment, by the way.”
“you work here?” he finally speaks, watching as you step back to organize the lone stems by the counter.
“i mean if it isn’t obvious,” you shoot him a pointed look.
“y-yeah, right, right.”
“my aunt used to own this shop, but she said she couldn’t take it anymore after some supernatural shit kept happening in this town apparently.” you huff. “i think she just needs to take her meds on time.”
“yeah, probably.” steve chuckles nervously before clearing his throat. “so, uhm, i don’t really remember seeing you around until a few days ago, is this your first time in hawkins?”
“save the getting-to-know questions for the date, harrington.” you smile up at him. “anyway, how about you pick me up two hours from now, i’ll forget that you ever bought me flowers from my own flower shop, and then we can continue this over some sweet milkshakes?”
“yeah,” he nods, his reply was barely even a whisper. there was a look of adoration in his eyes, a dopey lovelorn smile on his lips. “sounds like a plan.”
before steve gets in his car, he pauses by the door, looking back at you with one last glance before he gets stuck with the question, is this what love at first sight feels like?
steve never wants to lose that feeling.
and surely enough, steve is back two hours later with the bouquet in hand, hair styled to perfection, and the feeling of love at third sight stuns him.
steve looks at you like it’s the very first time he’s seen you, and he feels like his heart drops. every
he stares at you and there is an indescribable sensation in his chest that he couldn’t express. it gives him an urge to try every pick-up line in the book; make himself look like an idiot by asking whether you fell from heaven. because steve genuinely believes it. is that so silly of him to think?
there’s a warm fuzzy feeling deep within that void. it’s the type of feeling that makes him want to tell his friends all about you, his mom even, to the world if possible.
there was a pep in your step as you make your way toward steve, noting how handsome he looks in his shirt and corduroy jacket, jeans seemingly well-ironed. his hair is gelled – you’d have to ask him what hair products he uses later – and it makes you want to run your fingers through it.
“looking as gorgeous as ever, sweetheart.” steve compliments you with his ever charming smile. he gives you the bouquet that he’s been hiding behind his back. “these are for you.”
you take it from him and take a whiff of the sweet smell. “wow. these are beautiful, steve. i wonder who picked them for you.”
“oh, you know, just the cute little owner who works in the flower shop.” he grins. “oh, wow, would you look at that. we’re actually standing in front of it right now- oh, and good god, here’s the cute little owner i was just talking about.”
“dork.”
“what flavor do you want?”
“strawberry-chocolate has always been my go-to.”
“really?”
“what’s with the judgemental look? it’s heavenly!”
“but that’s so… so basic. i’ve pegged you to take more on the crazy flavors.”
you playfully roll your eyes at him as he guides you to a booth, hand respectfully placed on the small of your back. you look at him with a teasing grin. “i bet you love vanilla, though.”
steve scoffed, sitting in front of you. “i do not.”
he does, but he wasn’t going to admit that.
“you totally do,” you snicker before busying yourself with the menu.
“what can i get y’all today?”
“we’ll get a large strawberry-chocolate milkshake,” steve quips, looking at you for a moment before, like clockwork, adding, “with two straws, please.”
ignoring the rapid beating of your heart, you shake your head at him, “you do this with all the girls you go out with?”
“nah, only the ones who like basic ass milkshake flavors,” he grins, leaning back against the couch. “been reserving all my suave moves just for you.”
you scoff playfully, putting a hand on your chest. you can feel your heart beating as you take in his appearance under the neon lights of the shack. “should i be honored?”
“yeah,” steve nods fervently. “i’m actually glad you went out with me, meaning we don’t have to worry about your bad taste in men, too. i would have been really concerned.”
you laugh at him, and steve beams. you throw a balled-up tissue paper at his face, effectively snapping him out of his little inner dialogue about how your laugh was one of the best things he’s ever heard. “you literally love vanilla milkshakes and you’re trying to call out my apparent bad taste?”
“not vanilla,” he shoots you a glare, the curl of his lips failing to keep up with his act. he throws the tissue back at you. “seriously.”
you raise your hands in defense, trying to prevent the laugh threatening to leave your lips. before either of you could say anything else, the milkshake was served.
steve scooches closer towards the table as he places the milkshake in between you. he thanks the waitress and dips the two straws into the drink.
“just a fair warning though,” steve warns, moving closer to take a sip. “you might get enchanted by my pretty brown eyes with this close proximity, i was told you can get lost in them.”
you continue sipping with a smile, eyes momentarily flicking down at his lips before looking back up into his eyes. his eyes are pretty, you will let yourself willingly get lost in them if you can.
steve does the same, and as his eyes settle back into yours, the two of you let out tiny hushed laughter after the sudden eye contact.
“tell me if you need a map,” he sips, letting out a soft groan at the taste of the milkshake. he’s beginning to understand why you love it so much. “i think you’re starting to get lost.”
“did the heart eyes give it away?” you grin.
the conversation easily flowed like a river after that. secrets, and smiles, and laughter were shared between you two and it lasted for hours, more than what the two of you have signed up for. but neither of you was complaining.
steve learned a lot more about you than he ever did with anyone else. he learned that fleetwood mac, starship, and queen were the artists that claimed your top three. the breakfast club instantly became your favorite after his recommendation. and that you really, really want to learn how to rollerblade.
you, on the other hand, learned steve’s music taste was all over the place, but he secretly loves billy joel after seeing his parents dance to his music when he was younger, a vulnerable memory that he loves to preserve. he tells you all about dustin and the gang, and how the former was like the little brother he never had. he told you about how he was a bit hesitant about getting himself out there again after nancy, his ex, because she was the first person he’s ever loved and apparently it was all bullshit.
you both knew each other better than anyone else, not even your friends nor his knows about the things you told each other. and before you know it, you find yourselves in lover’s lake after getting kicked out for staying after closing — neither of you realized that the two of you were the only people left, save for the staff who kicked you out.
you look up at the starry sky with a content sigh, basking in the chilly air, the soft music from steve’s car, and well, steve.
“i don’t think i’ve had as much fun as i did today,” you say.
steve tilts his head to look at you, a small smile pulling at his lips before he teases, “good to know.”
“stop,” you push his face away. “i’m serious.”
he laughs, settling with a soft smile as he answers, “me, too, sweetheart.”
you look at him, and purse your lips. “i’ll be staying awhile, y’know?”
“what?” his eyebrows scrunch up in confusion. you want to give it a kiss.
“you asked me, earlier today, why you’ve never seen me before,” you recall. “i’m planning on staying for a while, just until i have everything figured out.”
“yeah?”
“yeah,” you nod. “i wasn’t going to, originally, until i found a reason to stay.”
steve smiles, he’s been smiling more than he ever did his entire life, and it’s not one of those flirty smirks or small smiles, they were the genuine and contagious ones. he’s convinced that his jaw will ache from all the muscle movement but he doesn’t mind, not when you told him prior that you loved his smile.
“yeah?” is all he can ask.
you hum in approval.
“what, our ever so beautiful hawkins, indiana doesn’t offer you enough?” he teases.
“well, your ever so beautiful hawkins, indiana so happens to offer the best milkshake,” you shrug nonchalantly. “i guess that’s enough reason.”
he gasps dramatically, putting up an exaggerated act by clutching his chest with a pained groan. “you offend me, woman.”
you laugh. “fine, you, too, pretty boy.”
“me, too, by the way.” steve murmurs after a while, ignoring the thumping of his chest. you feel some shifting from his side, so you look down to see him closer and his palm facing upwards, as if offering it to you. “maybe… maybe we can figure it out together?”
you look up at him, taking another moment to appreciate his beauty, before interlacing your fingers with his. “i’d like that very much.”
“thank you for tonight, steve,” you say, unbuckling your seatbelt as he puts his car in park. he gets out of the door and around the vehicle to open yours. “seriously.”
“no need to thank me, sweetheart,” steve smiles, tucking a stray hair away from your face. “i had fun with you tonight.”
you stop yourself from feeling the warmth of your cheeks, instead, you move a bit closer to him. “although, there’s one thing missing...”
steve frowned, his hands hovering just above your waist, hesitant to touch you. “what is it? — agh, i knew i should have gotten you the — robin said it would be too much and i —“
“steve,”
“hmm?”
“it’s not whatever you think it is.”
“oh… what is it then?”
you loop your fingers around his belt loops, tugging him closer to you. steve gasped softly, hands finally settling on your waist. “a kiss.”
“oh,”
you hum, moving your arms up from his torso and looping them around his neck. he could feel goosebumps rising in the wake of your warm touch.
your noses brush against each other, lips teasing as they barely leave a featherlight touch.
steve, getting impatient, pulls you impossibly closer, smashing his lips against yours. it was a mix of soft and desperate as if he’s been thinking of what it would have been like to kiss you. it was. if not, then it was even better than what he dreamed of.
you smile against his lips, fingers tangling in his hair. your mind is clouded; you’re drunk on his sweet strawberry-chocolate flavored kisses, the scent of his musky perfume, and the smell of his hairspray.
you slowly pull back only to have steve chase your lips again for a quick peck. “you’re a great kisser,” he murmurs.
“i know,” you tease, pulling him back down for another kiss as you can’t help yourself, only pulling away on the account of actually needing air to breathe.
“good night, steve,” you pull away slowly, his hands slipping away from yours as you walk up to your front doorstep.
“i miss you already!“ he calls out.
“go home, pretty boy.”
“good night, sweetheart!” he grins.
“drive home safe, farrah fawcett.”
“hey! i told you that in confidence.” steve exclaims, unbothered by your screaming neighbor yelling profanities at him. it was late.
you look back at him with one last smile before disappearing behind the door, you lean against it, grinning from ear to ear as you squeal in the safety of your own home. you walk around the shop-apartment with your giddy smile never faltering even once.
unbeknownst to you, after making sure you got in safely, steve is punching the air, whooping, and jumping on his feet as he did his own little celebration. he looks back once more before getting into his car, playing a billy joel song.
it frustrates him beyond belief how a woman could easily make him weak in the knees, how you, with one look into your eyes, accompanied by a glint of a smile, could make him feel as if he could crumble into lovesick wreckage, how your featherlight touch could effortlessly yield him into submission — but he supposes that he does not mind because you’re not just any woman nor is this just any feeling. he made a promise to himself that he would never fall in love again, never will he accept the risk of getting his heart broken once more, but for you — when he’s with you — he would risk getting his heart broken time and time again if it meant being in your presence. he’s never felt so seen, so loved, so adored, until he met you.
he’s willing to patch up a broken heart if it means loving you.
it’s dizzying, it’s so overwhelmingly beautiful — the feeling of being in love. the feeling of being in love with you. and in two years' time, the whisper of those three little words, those of which are common amongst those who love and are loved, and yet it holds a special meaning that no one but the two of you can understand.
it’s a promise. an oath. a secret that you will continue keeping that no matter what, it will always be you and him against the world, that even if everything else fails, your love for each other is what will keep you going.
because you did not end up staying a while, you stayed with him, and you’ll stay with him until forever falls apart.
© milkiane 2022. I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO MODIFY OR REPOST MY WORKS ON ANY OTHER PLATFORMS.
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Entertaining the possibility that Mike’s struggles with Will and El are exactly what was shown to us on screen
i.e. looking at Mike's perspective through the lens of his insecurities rather than internalised homophobia. This is going to be long, but I've tried my best to properly articulate and connect all my thoughts!
Starting off with,
Mike being unable to tell El that he loves her (4x2) because to put it simply, he’s not in love with her (anymore at least) but he loves her enough that he can’t lie about it, and neither can he let her go. He’s not fallen out of love because of El, but subconsciously because of who he’s become when he’s in a relationship with El. We see early on in season 4 that El has been pretending to be someone she is not in her letters to Mike. We see her breakdown when Mike handles the roller-skate-to-Angela’s-face situation badly because that’s the confirmation she wanted to know that Mike may not be appreciative of who she truly is. El was under the impression that she was a monster in that scene. She is not, but she was worried Mike would react negatively to her and he did. El even compares it to Brenner’s reaction to a traumatic incident she repressed and believed was her fault. What Mike said later is probably true - that he just reacted that way out of shock, but he also couldn’t tell her he loved her right after, so El heard what she wanted to hear. Pretending to be someone else wasn’t working for her anymore. If we observe carefully, we’ll realise that El hasn’t been the only one pretending in this relationship.-
-Mike has been pretending to be someone else too. Perhaps for longer. Through season 3, he acts like he’s moved on from DnD, games, hanging out with the party, and all the little things that make him his nerdy self. Everyone (Hopper, Lucas, Will, Dustin, and Max) points out that there is something off about Mike and El’s relationship - that he's keeping her to himself and that he's ignoring his friends to be with her. In contrast, we have Lucas and Max who balance their relationship and their friendships. Mike later picks a fight with Will that feels irreversible when Will calls him out on this behaviour in 3x3. That entire fight could be Mike projecting, but he was especially projecting with the “What did you think? That we were going to sit in my basement and play games for the rest of our lives?” line. When El moves away, we see Mike join Hellfire Club, indulging himself in his interests once again. We haven’t once seen Mike talk about these interests with El outside of season 1, where she ignored him:
gif by @beaulesbian
He feels embarrassed at the end of season 3 for getting excited about presents. The costume designer for s4 even confirmed that it was scripted in the Airport scene that Mike was dressing up a certain way out of his norm to fit in. All this coupled with what Mike says in 4x8 in the van - “someday she’s going to realise that I’m just some random nerd who got lucky” further proves that he thinks he’s not worthy of El unless he’s someone who is not just a random lucky nerd - which is what he was, technically in that moment (but he is also so much more, and we will circle back to that in a bit) Mike has spent so much time trying to be someone he’s not that he isn't sure about his feelings for El anymore, because-
-Mike is scared he’s lost Will -his best friend- in this process. This is the third time Mike has lost Will and this time according to him, it’s his own doing (“I feel like maybe I was worrying too much about El, and I don’t know, maybe I feel like I lost you or something.”). The fight from season 3 and the ending of season 3 are two of the Mike and Will moments that stand out before the Byers move to California. In the fight, Mike indirectly tells Will that it’s time to grow up and move on from DnD, and in the finale, Will is shown to have sort of moved on from it. He gives away his stuff and says he’ll just use Mike’s set when he comes back - that is if Mike still wants to play. And Mike for a moment feels reassured that Will didn’t take his comments during the rain fight to heart. He thinks they’re separating on good terms and that their friendship has been mended, except he’s going to realise soon that it hasn’t. Will starts to pull away and doesn’t reach out, as Mike accused him of in 4x2. Will thinks that if he has to lose Mike, he should do it quickly, like ripping of a band-aid. But Mike doesn’t know that this is because Will has romantic feelings for him and that it’s Will trying to deal with his own struggles. Mike genuinely believes that something he did (probably said, during the rain fight) is the reason he’s lost Will. And this hurts because Mike has always been authentically himself around Will.
Mike is now stuck pretending to be someone he is not in a relationship, and as a consequence, he thinks he has lost his best friend, with whom he could always be himself. And all this pretending because-
-Mike has put El on a pedestal. This could be because of her powers, or because of who he thinks he should be in a relationship with a girl because she is canonically the first girl to have shown interest in him.
The first ever character description of Mike Wheeler states that not having a girlfriend is one of his insecurities.
This also explains why Mike lashed out at Will in the most hurtful way he could think of when Will called her “some stupid girl” he was ruining the party to swap spit with (3x3). But as we’ve seen over and over again, Mike and El are just not compatible in their interests. Normally, that is something couples can easily work through together, but Mike has been trying to mould himself into someone that he thinks is compatible with El - straying further away from who he is, and El has been doing the same for Mike - both of them losing themselves in this process.
I think by the end of season 4, it’s very evident that both of them are tired of pretending to be someone they’re not. Because El got a taste of individuality. She has learned from Max and Owens and even Brenner that the choices she makes doesn’t define whether she is a monster or a superhero - but who she is as a person. She has realised that she is content in being a good person and not a superhero.
Meanwhile, Mike spent all his time away from El in Will's company in season 4, understanding that in their time apart, Will never stopped considering Mike as his best friend. Mike realises that Will is just as devastated as he is about their withering friendship (4x2, rink-o-mania fight) and that he is still able to be vulnerable and his true self around Will (literally every heart-to-heart they had in s4). Mike, for the first time in almost two years (apart from his time in Hellfire), has been able to experience what it’s like to be himself again because he's never felt the need to change himself to be around Will.
Mike can’t balance his relationship with Will and El because he is two different people around each one of them.
Will’s veiled confession turns out to be exactly the way Mike wished El (or anyone) loved him - like he is their equal, and like he is worthy of the person he loves. This is why he reacts this positively to Will's words:
Except that is not El's truth. That’s not how El feels (because El has been putting him on a pedestal too) ("Everyone looks at me like I'm a monster. You look at me like I'm a monster"). They’re Will’s feelings.
Will and Mike at this point in canon, consider each other as equals while Mike and El consider themselves inadequate to be with one another.
Everything that transpires after is just an unreasonable amount of chaos for drama tbh. They could’ve made Mike be honest with El in a moment of calm and talk out his insecurities if they wanted to fix that relationship. Have him reassure her that they can fix what’s broken with proper communication, but instead, Mike’s love confession during yet another high-stakes situation is laced with half-truths and him bringing back the whole El being his superhero concept (In direct contrast to Jonathan and Nancy describing how good the both of them are as people in their 4x1 love declarations while talking in sync to Fred and Argyle). This is followed by El decidedly not talking to Mike properly for two days after that monologue nor seeking comfort in him when she's just experienced one of the worst losses in her life. Mike is still drifting towards Will at the end because now that he’s got a taste of what being himself around his best friend feels like again, he’s finding it hard to let go.
Both Mike and El seem a little done with each other just before the final byler heart-to-heart, and I can only imagine that they’re going to break up at the beginning of season 5 because both of them have realised that they deserve better and that’s it’s neither of their faults. They’re kids who are learning what they want in life and that’s okay. They jumped into a relationship when they were 13 and it didn't work out for them. For them to rebuild a friendship instead would be monumental because they truly do make a great team when they don't have all this relationship drama suffocating them.
Where does this leave us with Mike and Will in season 5? Imagine Mike finding out that the Van scene confession was from Will himself. A possibility he’s never thought of because he believes he’s not lovable just the way he is. Mike finding out that the person he feels like he can be himself around the most loves him romantically, and that the same person also feels like a mistake except when he’s around Mike, because Mike makes him feel safe. And this person is someone who has seen the ups and downs of Mike for almost a decade. I don’t think Mike is going to take that very lightly. In fact, I think it’s going to rock his entire world. Because Mike will finally realise that Will never ever gave up on them. That Will’s been secretly and silently hoping for them to be more for a long time and reciprocation doesn’t feel like a long shot to Mike because loving and being around Will is so, so easy.
I’d always been a Mike is dealing with internalised homophobia truther, but I’m starting to think that Mike might actually just be more emotionally repressed and insecure. To the point that he’s constantly pretending to be someone he’s not. I don’t think he’s scared of being perceived as a queer person (seeing as how he always stuck with Will and defended him strongly against the homophobic bullies. And how in the beginning of season 4, he feels comfortable being seen by his high school classmates as a nerd or a freak) but I think he’s worried he’s never going to be enough for the person he loves. And Will has already proven that Mike just as he is, is everything and beyond to him. Will thinks he’s a nerd(very affectionately), he’s a leader, he’s his the heart, he’s Will’s safe space, he’s Will’s go-to person, and he’s Will’s forever (“We can just play DnD and Nintendo for the rest of our lives”)(“I’ll always need you, Mike”). Mike feels the same way about Will too. He’s just going to realise that oh, all this will stay the same and maybe be even more incredible when they shift their friendship to a romantic relationship.
Mike is going to fall harder than ever once he finds out that Will is in love with him and I honestly think Mike is already halfway there. He just can’t seem to put it together because he’s always loved Will this way. Mike is finally going to realise that he can spend the rest of his life in a loving relationship with the person who understands him best. The person he understands best. Who cares what the rest of the world thinks because holy shit, Will Byers loves him (and vice-versa)
I also think it would be incredible for Will (who deals with internalised homophobia in canon) if Mike, his partner, is more confident in his queer identity because having Will by his side gives him the strength and courage to be who he is. I think it would neatly wrap up both of their self image issues. Will unconditionally loving Mike for who he truly is and Mike unconditionally loving Will, through his gay struggles and all.
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