#their karma is what go them there | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

onedemoniclilly · 2 years ago

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Inspired by prompts by corvase

(TW: mentions of Hiromi’s child abuse, canon-type injuries/violence (kinda) (no big deep details, it’s a ramble after all), Karma’s arc is also mentioned (cliff thingy) and although its not a big big spotlight on it ig its a trigger???)

They’re in high school but it's not like they (class 3E) never talk to each other - none of them would dare not to. Not after everything they went through together. But things are getting busy, university entrance exams are approaching and they’re throwing their everything into this cause the whole point of a second knife (and a third, a fourth, a fifth…) is not to use it - it’s to push forwards with your absolute best until you break every single barrier in your way and you succeed. It’s to keep going forwards, keep striving up what seems like an endless uphill path cause you are the only one who can keep his memory and life for him.

Some of them are dating, the obvious couples got together at the beginning - some splitting because although the initial spark was there, they quickly realised it was built on the painfully sharp memory of their sensei and not any substantial feelings. Kanzaki actually asked Sugino out first, but unlike Chiba and Hayami nothing tangible actually came out of it. There was definitely something between Isogai and Maehara but neither of them had officially announced it however others could speculate whatever closer relationship they had needed to be shoved between the cracks of time between work, school and family.

Nagisa and Karma… well the less said about those two the better. In the beginning, there was the whole mess with Nagisa and Kayano - as much as Kayano wanted Nagisa, no one could tell if he was too dense, not interested or busy mooning over Karma. And then there was another entire thing going on between Gakushuu and Karma. People swore up and down the walls that they were dating: “Nothing going between the two- pshh, I swear they were practically sitting on top of each other- I don’t care that they were having a go at each other you can’t deny that there’s something!” And there were always rumours going about over the friendly ‘chat’ the boys had during their Kyoto trip and if Karma was really pulling one over them or not.

One could argue that, unlike Isogai and Maehara, neither of them had a part-time job, nor the pressures of their family disapproving of any single relationship they had. They just had university to worry about and although many couples had agreed to take a break or give each other more space during this time, with the foundation Koro-Sensei had given them and their previous experiences with working to the point of exhaustion despite their results, they weren’t as stressed nor lagging behind in their work. Nagisa’s mother… well their father had caught wind of the whole situation and in a surprising ownership of backbone, had driven from Nagoya back to Tokyo. The anime can say all they want but drugging your son because he won’t listen is not alright and the unnamed father at least can recognise this is blatant child abuse (even looking past the obvious physical, emotional and psychological abuse towards Nagisa).

Hiromi dodged a mental facility but is mandated with a restraining order and obligatory therapy sessions and Nagisa lives with his father now. And although it was a result of some incredibly stressful and terrifying events, Nagisa can’t deny that he does like the freedom his father’s guilt gives him.

Does he care about his appearance? Yes, he cut his hair the moment he got out of his mother's clutches and despite the crawling feeling over his skin every time he feels the ghostly swish of airy fabric over his thighs, he does appreciate the confidence and power a pair of well-fitted jeans, blouse and wig give him when he can turn around and talk back to whatever stuck-up egoistical person decided to hit on him for the night and not worry about the learnt fear a woman has or the fact that they would recognise him next time he walks by with his school friends.

Karma’s parents just don’t turn up ever. There’s the occasional postcard and good job sent via email in response to his latest report card but those are rarer than a successful purchase during the Sunday markets or a cool day during the hot humid days in August.

But there was a wedge driven between the two. Nagisa attends the Keisetsu Daigaku Fuzoku High School whilst Karma returns to his stomping ground at Kunugigaoka High School, having fun antagonising Gakushuu and the school staff because, honestly, who didn’t know about the massive highlighter-yellow sentient octopus up the hill.

But that doesn’t matter right now. All that matters is Nagisa was walking back at 3 am to Karma’s and not his dad’s place. He had been drinking with friends cause who doesn’t try it at high school - especially with his friend group at the high school with his newfound confidence in both his own skills (academically and physically - come on they all must excel at gym class now) and his appearance. He’s dressed in a pair of black jeans, the straight leg hanging over a pair of well-worn boots and a graphic t-shirt tucked into the waistband. It would be a well-put-together look for a casual get-together with friends to destress before the final month in the run-up to their exams but a bruise was starting to bloom on his upper shoulder and the back of his jeans was sticking to the back of his calf. His dad would freak at the sight of his injuries and that’s why he was walking the slightly longer trek to Karma’s despite the fact that the only form of communication they’d had in three weeks was over text.

He finally walks up the apartment stairs, sweat beading on his forehead at the exertion and pain he’s in. He considered calling the other boy at some point but ‘why make him wake up just to help him up a couple steps’ he thinks. He stands outside the door, the white paint matching every other apartment along the block debating his options before he lets his head fall forward, a loud and long triiiiiiiiing ring out from the doorbell.

He stays like that for a moment, having managed to shift away from the doorbell and onto the spyhole by the door - unconsciously hoping his blue hair gave him away.

On Karma’s side of things, he’s awake but close to drifting off to sleep. As much as their time in 3E had given them good study habits and he was confident enough in his own abilities to pass the upcoming exams, the amount of revision material his teacher provided that he had to slog through, otherwise prompting an unnecessary video call between his parents and teachers, was a stupidly large amount. And so he was here, a Saturday night, hoping to work early into the morning before passing out for 6 hours, waking for a quick dinner and then sleeping straight to a Monday morning he knew there was a high likelihood he’d skip anyway.

Well, he had let his eyes shut for another moment, enjoying the rocking motion and sweet bliss of nothingness sleep deprivation gave him before his incredibly unexpected doorbell went off.

Now Karma could be your average Joe and go “Now who could that be?” but this is Karma we’re talking about and he goes something more along the lines of “Ughhhsahdhsaarghhhh” cause not only does he have to actually stand up but he has to walk to the door, open it and engage in some random socialisation at…. 3 am????

Now does he spot Nagisa’s strikingly bright hair colour in the spy hole? No. Cause who goes and checks that first before actually opening the door? Instead, he opens the door and gets a tumbling Nagisa tripping over the doorframe into his hallway and himself too.

At first, he’s really really confused cause why is Nagisa here, why at this time, why did he not make the excellent decision to sleep earlier and why- Why Is There Blood Soaking His Jeans.

“Why is there blood soaking your jeans?” He says, admittedly softer (no less concerned) than his inside thoughts. He doesn't receive the answer he really wants but he does get a frustrated huff against his neck (‘So fucking warm- omg Akabane Karma no you should not be thinking about this’) and a “My jeans?” from the smaller boy now in his arms.

They somehow make it to his living space, Nagisa on his sofa (wow it’s used for more than the gaming nights he has with his friends) now half jean-less and Karma inspecting the wound. They haven’t talked yet, just the sound of clothes rustling and the occasional huff of pain as the disinfectant is applied and the injury dressed filling the empty presence of the early morning silence as the sky starts to shift in preparation for the 4 am dawn.

In the end, it’s one of Karma’s intrusive thoughts that managed to make its way to his voicebox and into the living room audio. He doesn’t realise it at first, but he does find out pretty quick that it probably wasn’t something for this moment and time when Nagisa looks up with a quick “What.”

It’s cold, and exactly like the jagged edge of a serrated knife and Karma starts to backpedal (which is pretty hard when you don’t actually know what you’ve said)

“I uh- take that back? Just an intrusive thought, didn’t mean to say it out loud-” And he realises he sounds absolutely delirious but that doesn’t matter all too much to Nagisa right now and here.

“You think… You think I can’t handle myself? Karma you know-”

‘Ah fuck’ Is all Karma could think. And yet, his mouth kept on running stupid stupid words.

“No you can’t! You can’t say that not when you’re on my couch with bloody tissues over in a pile and a bruise over your arm and shoulder.”

“And what gives you the right to lecture me about my choices and my skills and my abilities” cause damn Nagisa spent so long shackled to his own worries and anxieties eating away at him over Was He Good Enough, Would She Be Mad, What Do I Do, to stand being accused of this. “What about you, and how you came in with bruises and cuts, how you got sent down the ladder because you-” and now he’s pouring salt into old wounds and attacking it with a scrubbing brush now, “-because you basically Fucking Asked For It!” And he’s sitting up, one leg still in his jeans, the other he’s trying to keep still and relaxed ‘less the dressing loses its hold and his wound reopens.

“And if I’m a hypocrite, then what about you?” The logical side of Karma’s brain starts to just Go and the more emotional side (maybe its cause wow the guy I’ve been pining over for years is injured and I don’t like that, or maybe it's just can’t he just know that I’m concerned - but there’s zero worry for his own choices Nagisa is accusing him of (he’s accepted his own consequences a long time ago)) takes over.

“You just keep coming back to these things, you’re worse- it’s been going on for Years.” The azure-headed gestures to his own injuries, “It’s not just that- it’s…”

“It’s what?”

“The cliff.”

And the two words start Karma spiralling. But he doesn’t spiral in silence, Karma just keeps talking and talking and the emotions keep building up underneath the rushing memories of falling and darkness and the crashing relief of Alive.

“No fuck you, I know about the bomb - you stupid martyr - I know you are capable; I saw you take down Takaoka fucking twice now but it doesn’t take away from the fact that you were ready to fight the Reaper just for an opening for us to attack” His voice just kept getting louder and louder- he hopes the neighbours aren’t awake.

“Why do you care about me? Why not care about yourself just a bit more?”

“Because I do” and that’s true, he just does. It’s a fact of life - he doesn't know why-

“But why?!”

“Because I love you!” Oh.

Oh.

They return to the silence they had held before sans the sounds of movement. The words registered in Nagisa’s brain before they did in Karma’s but both of them left the confession hanging in the air.

“...you should probably change into something else.” Karma got out, mind making the decision to escape this instead of confronting the words.

“I- yes. I’ll take a shower first.” Nagisa leaves the room, knowing his way around Karma’s apartment, one leg still in his jeans.

Unbeknownst to Karma, currently still standing in his living room, Nagisa practically crumbles; clinging to the wall as he makes his way towards Karma’s bathroom. His mind is reeling, thoughts going absolutely crazy as he peels off his other jeans leg and t-shirt and starts up the shower. The water jets out cold, the hum of the generator leading into a warm spray as he lathers up soap - avoiding his calf as much as he can - before rinsing off and stealing a towel from Karma’s cupboard.

He wanders into Karma’s room, holding his towel up in some form of privacy despite their many onsen trips, and raids his closet and drawers; pulling on a soft pair of joggers that he either has to roll up or risk looking like a penguin and a well-worn t-shirt. Despite the warm summer weather, the apartment is cold and looking at Karma’s study materials on his desk tells Nagisa that he wasn’t asleep when he came ringing his doorbell.

Before he steps into the living room, Karma’s words finally hit him. He stands in front of the bedroom door, contemplating if he’s willing to bypass the etiquette drilled into his very nature and simply just fall asleep in Karma’s bed and deal with everything tomorrow. But no, it’s Nagisa we’re talking about and so he steps into the living room and tentatively asks:

“Do you… do you want to talk about it? Or should I just take the sofa and we can talk in the morning?”

And Karma is just standing there, in the same position as Nagisa left him in and now he’s worried “...Karma?”

The single word tinged with enough concern worry, sadness??? To get his attention and Karma just sits on the couch and Nagisa pads over to sit next to him.

“I just- If you just want to forget everything and stay friends then we can just sleep and wake up in the morning and continue and ignore this-”

Nagisa just nudges Karma and it shuts up his ramble. The boys just sit there for a bit longer, before Nagisa continues, “I don’t know if it’s love for me. But it does feel very natural for me just to flow into… Something closer”

And it isn’t love yet for Nagisa, and maybe not for Karma either because Nagisa still carries the hurt when Karma drifted that one school year and Karma carries the guilt of being scared. And yes, they’ve talked about this but it's still a significant part of their lives. They’ll work things out, they’ve already talked about it once and now the topic is less hard to breach but right now Karma will let Nagisa have the option of the sofa and the bed and Nagisa will shoot a “Well the bed’s big enough for two enough, might as well make the most of your parent’s money” and they do sleep in the same bed, backs together but hearts going slightly faster before their breathing evens out.

They don’t sleep long enough to complete Karma’s plans to wake up just for dinner but Nagisa does start lunch which in turn wakes Karma. And they eat a simple lunch of rice, veg and meat then spend time looking over Karma’s revision sheets cause even though Nagisa plans to go into education in university, he’ll never turn down free knowledge cause that’s not what Koro-Sensei would have done nor wanted.

And maybe Karma struggles writing a text a few weeks later with the simple “Cafe for Lunch - Sun?” On a Saturday evening but Nagisa beats him to it with a “Sunday - Lunch/dinner???” And it's a horrid affair cause both of them are menaces to society when paired together but they leave the premise laughing and go back to Karma’s for dinner and when Nagisa leaves to head back home Karma leans against the doorway and asks “After exams, wanna go camping?”

And Nagisa knows deep down that this will all work out.

2023/10/27

#ansatsu kyoushitsu #assassination classroom #akabane karma #shioita nagisa #Karma x Nagisa #drabble #prompt #romance #odl writes #tenses? whats that???#im meant to be writing anything else but this #my october pieces are Not Done and i did this in less than 3 hours please save me #i have stories to write and this is where my muse went #all i did was browse pinterest for fit ideas for tmmrw and this happen #Not me making dialogue very very vague cause i like cannot think of anything in character for either of them to say #Did i mean to make it this long? No.#do i regret it? My sleep schedule does and also my plans to go out tonight does (plus flu jab) but I don’t :)#I dont want to write dialogue i’m sick and tired of it but thats like the whole point of this piece whyyyyyyy #writblr #writing on tumblr

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