#their kids are def the holy terrors

[leiawritesstories]

You did rowaelin teenagers, you did lysaedion teenagers, we all know this series won't be complete without elorcan teenagers...

then prepare yourselves for boy dad!Lorcan 👀👀

word count: 2,239

warnings: lots of language (they're Elorcan's kids), exhausted parents, injury

enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I swear to the ruttin' gods--" Lorcan grumbled, swinging himself out of his truck and striding across the parking lot, clicking the key fob to lock the doors. It took him less than a minute before he strode through the automatic doors, their quiet swish completely opposing his scowl, and approached the desk. "Salvaterre."

The curly-haired lady blinked. "Are you Salvaterre, or are you here for Salvaterre?"

Lorcan suppressed the foul thing that threatened to come out his mouth. "Sorry. I'm Lorcan Salvaterre, here for Daric Salvaterre. I got a call saying he'd been brought in?"

The receptionist typed a few things into her computer. "Ah yes, Mr. Daric Salvaterre was brought in by someone who said he was a friend. May I see ID, please? Just a formality." Lorcan handed over his driver's license. She glanced at it and nodded. "All right. Daric is in Room 27, go on back."

"Thanks." Lorcan took back his license and headed through the doors into the clinic, the sterile smells of cleaner and medicine hanging in the air. He followed the signs until he reached Room 27, where he knocked a couple times on the door to make sure he wouldn't walk in on a doctor talking to his son.

"Come in."

Lorcan opened the door, his eyes immediately shooting to his oldest son. "'Ric, you alright?" He crossed the small room in a step and a half. "Shit, kid, what happened?"

"Calm down, Dad," Daric protested, though he made no move to bat his father away. "I'm fine."

"That godsdamn boot says otherwise," Lorcan retorted.

"Fair enough." Daric shifted, wincing slightly. "Shit!"

"Shit," Lorcan echoed, instinctively catching hold of his son's shoulders. "Kiddo, you're scaring me."

"I'm not a kiddo," Daric grumbled, lips twitching. "I promise I'm gonna be fine, Dad, the doctor said nothing's broken."

"Then what's wrong?"

The boy sighed. "I had a...small accident at practice?"

"Bullshit." Lorcan raised one dark brow as he sat himself down in the uncomfortable chair. "What happened?"

"Ugh, shit, you see through everything," his son complained. "It was just during a scrimmage, I got a little too tangled up with my man and we both went down, but my skate caught on his and twisted my ankle."

Lorcan winced. "And they sent you to the damn ER for that?"

"Trainer referred me," Daric explained. "Said he couldn't be sure without a scan and there's sure as hell no X-ray machines or any of that shit at school."

"Okay." Some of Lorcan's raging stress subsided. "So someone drove you here and they got a scan and said it's just twisted?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Daric affirmed. "I just had to wait here 'cause I'm only sixteen and they won't let me check myself out."

"Cause you're still a kid." Lorcan half-smirked. "Right, is the doctor coming back?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Right on cue, there was another knock on the door.

"Come in!" Daric called.

Sure enough, it was the doctor, a couple of forms in his hand. "Mr. Salvaterre?" he asked, looking to Lorcan.

"That's me." Lorcan shook the doctor's hand. "I'm this uh...rash youngster's father."

"Dr. Hesper," the man replied. "I'm sure your son's already told you, but the injury isn't as serious as it could have been. It's sprained, and he shouldn't put weight on it for at least two days and definitely shouldn't be skating for at least a week, but as long as he keeps to those guidelines, he should be back on the ice within a couple weeks and back to training and competing in a month."

"Well, that's a relief." Lorcan flashed a half-grin at his son. "Any other instructions? Medicine, whatever else?"

"We're not prescribing pain medication," Dr Hesper replied. "It's not that serious of an injury. He can have ibuprofen, Tylenol, the standard over-the-counter pain relievers, and if it starts to swell, elevate and ice for twenty to thirty minutes on and thirty minutes off."

"Okay great, thanks again, doctor."

"Of course!" Dr. Hesper shook Lorcan's and Daric's hands again, told Daric he needed to use the crutches for a week, and headed out of the room. "You're all good to go, Salvaterres."

Lorcan helped Daric get situated with the crutches and took the forms, walking beside his son as they went back out to the truck. At the door, Daric stopped, unsure quite how to swing himself up.

"Give me a hand, Dad?" he finally asked, a little grumpily.

"Course." Lorcan took the crutches and boosted his son up on his good leg, helping him swing his injured leg into the truck so he wouldn't put weight on it.

"Thanks." Daric took the crutches back and leaned into the seat, closing his eyes.

It was a rather quiet drive home.

~

"Holy shit!" Elide yelped, practically sprinting out of the house and out to the pickup the second she saw her oldest son on crutches. She was at Daric's side almost before Lorcan could blink, brows creased with worry. "What happened?"

"I'm fine, Mom," Daric mumbled, hopping along.

Elide planted herself in front of her son and folded her arms across her chest. "Don't you give me that crap, Daric Callum Salvaterre. What. Happened?"

Her son gulped, the use of his full name very much communicating how serious his mom was. "I sprained my ankle at practice, doc said if I follow his rules, I should be back to playing in a month."

"So...not too serious?"

"No, Mom, it's not too serious," Daric huffed. "Can I go in now? I want to sit down."

She chose to interpret his curtness as him being in some degree of pain and stepped aside. "I'll get you some ibuprofen." And she did, bringing him the medicine and some water once he was settled on the couch. "Here."

"Thanks, Mom." Daric flashed her a soft smile, exhaustion written all over his face.

Elide reached out to brush the dark hair out of his eyes. "How long until you can get back on the ice?"

"I'm on crutches for a week, so a week until I can do anything at practice and probably two until I can actually go on the ice." He sighed, frowning. "Don't fuckin' like it, though."

"Language, son." She huffed a soft sigh herself. "I know it sucks, 'Ric, but please--"

"You don't know!" he interrupted, scowling now. "God, Mom, I get you want to be sympathetic but you don't bloody know!"

Arching one dark brow dryly, Elide merely sat down on the other couch and raised her right leg, pulling down her sock to expose the scar tissue at her ankle. "Oh?"

"Shit," Daric mumbled, his cheeks flushing. "Sorry, Mom, that was stupid of me."

"I forgive you," she murmured, standing back up and ruffling his overgrown hair. "Think before you speak, son of mine." her lips curled into a little grin. "Hungry?"

"Oh yeah, I--"

"DUDE!" A slightly younger dark-haired boy burst into the living room, staring unabashedly at his brother's boot. "Dude, that's DOPE, can I sign it?"

"Matt," Elide groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose, "are you serious?"

"What?" Matthias Salvaterre, fourteen years old and his big brother's biggest fan, shrugged. "Taran said Ric had a boot!"

"Good gods above," Elide sighed. "Matt, leave your brother alone for now, I'm sure you can sign his boot after dinner."

"Ugh, fine," Matt grumbled, turning around and loping back out towards the kitchen. "DAAAAAD! What's for dinner?"

"Why don't you find out?" Lorcan's amused rumble sounded from the kitchen.

Elide chuckled. "I'll go control them. You just call out if you need anything, k?"

"Okay." Daric resettled himself and grabbed his laptop from his backpack. "Thanks, Mom."

"Love you." And she headed to the kitchen to make sure her husband and second son weren't actively burning anything down.

~

"Gods burn me now," Lorcan groaned, stripping off his shirt in one motion as he nudged the bedroom door shut behind him. "Remind me why we ever thought three boys would be a good idea, El?"

"Pretty sure you're the one who needs to remind me," she teased, "given that it was you who made them, babe."

"And I'd do it all over again," he purred, sliding his broad arms around her waist.

She laughed softly, leaning into his warmth. "Don't tempt me, Salvaterre."

His low chuckle rumbled in his chest. "We never had our baby girl, El..."

"Oh no you don't." She extracted herself from his embrace, strolling coolly into the bathroom. "I know we agreed we were done, but gods, Lor, you tempt me far too much."

"Not half as much as you tempt me, babe." He kissed the top of her head. And yawned, his jaw cracking.

She smirked. "Getting a little tired, babe? Age catching up with you?"

"'M'not old," he grumbled.

"Uh huh," she drawled, giggling as he playfully lunged at her. She dodged his grasp and returned to the bedroom, where she settled herself into bed and waited for her giant hulking husband to join her.

Which he did, curling himself into her side, his arms around her waist and his head leaned against her shoulder. She slipped her fingers into his loose hair, drawing a contented purr out of him as they both drifted into sleep.

Only to be awoken at some bloody unholy hour of the night when their door creaked open.

"D-Dad?" Their youngest, Taran, stood in the doorway, rubbing his eyes blearily. "Dad? Mom?"

"What is it?" Lorcan cracked his eyes open, half-propping himself up.

Their eleven-year-old son bit his lower lip. "Ric's talking in his sleep again and he doesn't sound okay."

Elide pushed herself out of bed in an instant, hurrying over to Taran. "What do you mean?"

"Hey." Lorcan slid his hand into Elide's, comforting her. "Let me go, you go back to sleep."

"I--"

"I'll be fine." Lorcan kissed his wife's forehead. "I promise. Go back to sleep, El."

She sighed. "Okay."

Lorcan knelt down in front of his youngest. "What's Ric saying, kiddo?"

"I dunno." Taran's dark eyes were wide with concern. "I woke up to pee and heard him talking in his sleep and I think he said something about needing to skate."

"Shit," Lorcan muttered. "Alright, T, how about I get you back to bed and I'll go check on Daric, yeah?"

"Okay." Taran looked like he was on the verge of shaking, so Lorcan picked him up, letting the boy wrap himself into his father's hold.

"Dammit, kid, when did you get so big?" Lorcan mumbled.

"'M'growin', dad," Taran mumbled, his voice muffled in Lorcan's shoulder.

"Well, stop that," Lorcan chuckled. "Y'all growing up too fast." He got Taran settled back in his room, left the door cracked open, and went down the hall to Daric's room.

True to what Taran had said, Daric was mumbling in his sleep and rustling around in bed. Lorcan placed his ear to the barely-opened door, picking up mostly incoherent mumbles and a hint of ow shit hurts shut wanna play damn ankle.

He pushed open his oldest's door and went in, kneeling down by the side of his bed and gently shaking his shoulder. "Hey. Hey, wake up, Ric, you're scarin' me."

Daric jerked awake, disoriented, shaking himself as he realized that his dad was in his room. "Huh?"

"You're talking to yourself."

"Shit," Daric muttered. "Thought that was just dreams."

"Yeah, well, we heard you." Lorcan pressed the back of his hand to his son's forehead. "Shit, kid, you're damn warm!"

"I'm fine," Daric grumbled. "Just sleep hot, you know that."

"Fine." Lorcan raised his brows. "How's the pain?"

Daric didn't respond.

"How's the pain?"

"Not great," the boy mumbled.

Lorcan exhaled slowly. "I'm gonna get you a couple more ibuprofen, okay?" He ducked into the bathroom and grabbed a couple of the pills and some water, bringing them back and handing them to his son. "Here. Take 'em, I'm not leaving until you do."

"Thanks." Quietly, Daric took the pills, swallowing them down. "Ugh, gods, why'd this have to happen now?"

"Couldn't tell you." Instinctually, Lorcan brushed Daric's messy hair off his forehead. "You need anything else?"

"Uhh...can you--never mind, I can."

"Mm, no, tell me."

"Can you get a couple pillows under my leg?" Daric asked. "Doc said I should try elevating it when I'm sleeping if it starts hurting."

"Of course." Lorcan grabbed a couple of extra pillows and helped Daric get his boot situated atop them. "How's that?"

"S'great," his son mumbled. "Night, Dad."

"Night, son." Lorcan closed the door behind him and returned to the master bedroom, tucking himself back against Elide.

She shifted to face him, tracing her thumb across his cheek. "How is he?"

"He'll be okay," Lorcan murmured. "Gave him some more medicine and got his leg elevated."

"Good." She was silent for a moment, the worry in her brown eyes slowly dissipating. "Gods, Lor, it scared me."

"I know," he whispered, sliding his hand along her back. "Scared the hell out of me, too."

She hummed in agreement and curled into his side, her breath fanning softly against his skin. "You're the best damn dad, Lor."

He huffed. "I wouldn't say the best, but I try."

"Love you," she mumbled, her words slurring with sleepiness.

"Love you too," he whispered, twirling a lock of her soft, dark hair around his finger as he let himself fall back asleep.

~~~

TAGS:

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[uncannyoceanz]

day 6.draw one of the Crp clowns/jesters! + Headcanons! (Candy Pop)

He is 7’2

Loves eating candy.

Will have psychotic sugar rushes sometimes and then pass tf out.

Yk he has that man spread ass sit bro💀💀

Honestly really childish 

Long ass tongue…

Ayo what can that tongue do 🤨😏

Def likes Jason in that way.

Bisexual…AND BIPOLAR!!!!

ADHD. 

Likes to annoy, scare, and piss people off for fun.

Careless, reckless, ruthless and sadistic. 

Masochist?

Prankster + jokester 

Kind of narcissistic / over confident.

Kinda hard to offend/anger.

Doesn’t like people seeing him in his night terror form.

100% horny 80% of the time.

He doesn’t really care about gender. If he can fuck he will fuck.

Whore. absolute fucking slut. Cock slut. Loves pussy. Loves cock. Sluttiest thot in this motherfucking bitch. Cunty thotty slutty whore.💀💀💀💀💀 (I can’t take myself seriously bro)

Doesn’t wear make-up. That’s legit js his face.

Sharp ahh teeth like boy-

Waaaaayyyyy too over protective of his sister, Candy Cane.

One of the best bff’s you could ever have, Nathan is Lucky.

Ofc his bestie is Nathan, it’s literally Canon!!!!<3

Kinda gets jealous easily? Mostly when he doesn’t get attention or gets attention absolutely stolen from him.

Loves to be the center of attention 

He uses black magic, dark magic, demonic magic, voodoo, witchcraft, whatever cursed/dark magic you can think of, he does it or has done it.

List of things he loves: #3. Jason. #2. His sister. #1. His hair!!!!

He loves his hair more than anything, a bitch even think about touching his hair he will backhand them so motherfucking hard they forget how to speak.

He doesn’t really like judge angels. Why? Because most things related to a fucking angel, he hates. He has never really met her though so….He just always judges a book by its cover honestly. 

Him and LJ fight a lot, but they can get along together sometimes.

His father figure? Oh hell yeah, y’all know it’s Papa Grande. Fuck slenderman, ain’t nobody like that old bitch.

Upside down crosses everywhere. <3

He likes bright colors.

Jason will have this man in a corset sometimes like holy shit???!

He’s a mini fashionista and also Jason’s model/inspiration sometimes.

Coming in contact (touch) with some holy objects or angels will cause him 3rd degree burns😘🩷  and he just doesn’t really like holy water, but it won’t burn him.

Bibles and some holy shit makes him weaker, but in a more painful way. Which usually makes this man screech in pain<3333 I’m such a sadist 🥰😇

He doesn’t like angels or people in most religions 

He likes to play dress up/other games with sally, sometimes LJ and Jason will join too! 

Whenever playing Alice in wonderland with Sally, he’s the Cheshire Cat.

He’s a top obvi!!!

he can enter and exit through mirrors as he pleases. 

He can teleport

He/They/it

Likes to hang around the pasta kids because they lure in unsuspecting worried adults (aka free prey for Candy ;))

Candy, Pop, Poppy, Night, Poppyseed, C.pop, whore, Hatsune Miku, Raspberry fairy demon, Hatsune Miku demon jester, fairy princess jester demon, Slut, bestie, clown, raspberry, creepy blue clown bitch, night terror, night terrors, cluster demon, the collector, emperor of the dark, dark emperor, the dark omen, demon from the abyss, abyss demon.

He can steal other people’s powers, supernatural strength and speed, he can jump high, adapt to his environment quickly, really good sharp senses, enhanced visuality, and can phase through walls (ghosting)

Manipulation, teleportation, dark architect, power gifting, mind control, mastermind, nightmare manipulation, shapeshifting, magic (mentioned b4), levitation, invisibility, soul absorption

[peepsibo]

omg omg omg omg omg omg can u pls do a billy x reader but like , instead of finney it was u that got taken and he spoke to u through the black phone 😧

i can def try TT

(platonic)ghost! billy showalter x gn! reader (implied to be more masc than feminine due to the grabber kidnapping only boys)

tw: kidnapping, angst (?)

Time seems to have changed since being down in that grimy basement. Has it been an hour? Maybe even a week, hell if you knew. What was once an already shitty day turned even worse in the snap of one's fingers. Getting your shit rocked when you tried helping your friend, Finney, from his bullies, getting picked on by your math teacher, and the cherry on top, getting grabbed by The Grabber.

Ring!

Here goes that phone again. It seems like every five minutes that damn phone goes off, no matter how much you ignore it. After being irritated by the rings one too many times, you finally picked up the phone.

The static rings throughout the receiver, which makes you feel unease as you look down to see the wire on the phone not connected to the wall.

"Hello?" Silence. You wait a minute for an answer. "What do you want?" Another silence. As you go to hang up the phone, a voice you never thought you would hear again.

"Don't hang up." Billy.

Billy was your neighbor, and childhood friend since diapers. Your mothers were close so it only made sense you two were close. In more recent years though, Billy busy with being the town's newsboy and you having volleyball take up your time. When your mom came up to you to tell you Billy went missing, you felt your stomach drop, terror filling your senses.

Now here you are, hearing the voice of your missing childhood friend.

"Billy? Holy fuck is that you?" You inquired the voice.

"I don't know."

"You don't know? You are Billy Showalter, I have known you all my life, you're the damned paperboy!"

"Don't call me that... name." Billy was uncomfortable at the mention of his name.

"What should I call you then?"

Silence. "Call me Paperboy."

"Paperboy-- got it. Why are you calling? Where are you calling from?" You started to question.

"From the same phone you are using." You felt dread fill your body as he said that, the only way possible for that to happen was...

You gulped, and before you could think you said, "Did he.. The Grabber, you know..." You trailed off at the end of the sentence, but Billy-- or Paperboy-- knew what you were trying to say.

"Yes, and I am here to make sure you don't end up like. Like the rest of us."

"Are the others with you? Is Robin with you?" You didn't want the answer to that question, but if Billy was dead, Robin had to be too. You could only imagine Finney's face when finding out what happened to Robin.

"Look, I do not remember a lot, or your name but I do remember my... feelings about you. I remember being happy, and laughing and like a kid. I remember ice cream cones and water guns and... I don't want you to end up like me. I know it will be hard, but I know you can do it. You have so much to live for."

"So did you PB."

"Well the difference between us is that you will. You have been the only one to hear the phone, you have an advantage that we didn't."

After some silence, you finally answer, "What do I need to do?"

Billy, in the afterlife and the basement, put his hand onto your shoulder, but all you could feel was a sudden coldness.

"Listen to the calls and use what we give you."

[fizzingwizard]

Episode 13! I don’t have all that much to say about it. But there were three things in particular I really liked!

Sorato moments! It may be small (I mean, they’re kids and they’ve known each other for like a day), but no one will be able to say Sora and Yamato didn’t have any development in this season!

Sora Getting Shit Done! She’s as cool as Yamato. Scratch that, she’s cooler than Yamato. She’s honest and compassionate. She’s brave like Taichi, values her friends as much as Yamato, AND she can get along with both of them. Bahahaha.

SO MANY adorable Jou&Gomamon moments this episode. Like seriously. SO MANY.

I’ll just tack some here:

More below!

So our two groups are still separated! Jumping ahead, but next week we’ll see MegaKabuterimon, and that rounds out two episodes for each group. But that still leaves Zudomon’s appearance. Just a hunch, but my guess is we’ll see him the episode after which will be the reunion episode too. If not, I suppose the groups are gonna stay separated longer, but this is my guess.

So, once again, our kids have been in this world for Not Very Long At All. It doesn’t seem like they’ve had to stop and sleep so far, though they’ve eaten a bit. Probably it’s still the same day in digital world time o.o It’s completely plausible that they’ve been sleeping and we’re just not being told about it though. This is a kids show, next week Koushirou could be like “we’ve been walking for a week!” and we’ll just have to roll with it lol. But until that happens, I’m going with it’s been about a day and almost everyone’s easily got two evolutions under their belt. Evolving is much easier in this season - Taichi and Yamato even got a Jogress already - so it’s definitely past time to throw out old concepts of how evolving work. The kids clearly have Crests, but they don’t know what they are, which means that’s a thing we’ll be seeing in the future. In spite of that, they can evolve to higher levels. So, maybe something else is in store for them when the Crests become important. Very interesting.

We are back with the trio who’s got their shit slightly more together. Except for Jou’s stomach. Was really amused by Yamato using binoculars. I assume Sora brought them. I’m so used to Taichi’s telescope, but it only makes sense that each group should have some working gear!

Also par for the course, Yamato looking at what’s ahead while Jou’s being sick and Sora’s in between helping them both :P

They find this thing. The hive of brainwashed mecha soldier bees. The person who wrote this episode has definitely had a bad run in with suzumebachi.

As they try to escape, Jou immediately falls off Birdramon.

Me: “Oh no! Someone go help him!”

Gomamon:

Me: “NO NOT YOU”

Like I know they’re partners... but Gomamon doesn’t even have hands. xD All he can do (and all he does do!) is fall together. They’re partners so it’s not surprising, but still... Wheeeeeee!

Honestly though it is just so adorable to me how useless Jou is and how hard Gomamon tries for him... even though Gomamon has a lot more excuse for being useless. I mean, he’s made for a water habitat.

Gabumon: “Jou’s with Gomamon, so he should be okay...”

-___- You know nothing, Jon Snowmon. You know nothing about how much trouble Jou can get himself in

See!?!?!?!??!?! DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THEY’RE OKAY TO YOU, GABUMON??? EAT YOUR WORDS!!!

This is what happens when you try to too hard to make a bee cute. So overdesigned xP It’s like hitting me on the head saying “I’M CUTE, LOOK AT ME!! I’M CUTE!!!” like chill dude, it’s ok. just chill

I guess it works on Sora though, she’s as concerned for this cutie pie as she is for Jou... maybe more.

We make a quick switch to group number 2 who are finally living up to my expectations for how nuts they are. Koushirou’s connection is turbulent, to use the lingo Tumblr always pisses me off with!

Mimi offers to help. “My grandpa can get you a better one!” She... she tries.

Taichi offers to help too. “Times like this you just gotta whack it!” Koushirou looks appropriately terrorized.

I’m so relieved to know Taichi and Mimi are both still batshit.

Yamato and Sora hatch a plan to save Jou by getting themselves captured too. Honestly the show doesn’t spend enough time on the cool stuff like hatching this plan! It just happens! It def got me thinking how brave and cooperative Sora is. Like, we already know Yamato is cool, and he has more experience in the digital world than the others. But Sora just rolls with it. She’s not freaking out, she’s thinking things through, and she can help strategize. 99 Adventure was like “Girls don’t need to do things like pedal swan boats or take watch at night!” This ones like “Girls can definitely do those things! As long as they are pink when they do them!”

Jou and Gomamon arrive in the hive where they are immediately separated... and Jou is thrown out with the trash. BAHAHAHA. GEEZ this show will not ease up on Jou!!

by the way... Gabumon... ARE YOU EATING YOUR WORDS YET!?!?

Sora and Yamato make it inside and hitch a ride on Garurumon...

... They both jump like this when they need to get off so Garurumon can evolve. With jumping style like that, Sorato is a ship made n heaven.

Fuck everything I said about Gomamon working best in his water habitat, IT WAS ALL A LIE. First swimming through sand, now this. Jou has LITERALLY NO EXCUSE for being as useless as he is anymore

also Wolverfish is back, I am some day going to make one of those old geocities shrine sites just for Wolverfish

They are surrounded on all sides though, so what should we do? “Go down.” Yamato, DID YOU FORGET WE ARE IN THE AIR.

Once again Sora is A-OK with all of this! Jou’s the only one having a normal human reaction to A HOLE OPENING IN THE FLOOR OF AN AIRBORNE VESSEL

Gomamon T____T Jou would be mince meat without you

It turns out that Yamato’s shitty plan wasn’t so shitty after all, because either he and Sora talked about what they’d have to do if the couldn’t stay inside the hive, or Sora is psychic. Or just that good at cleaning up after hot-headed men. Anyway yeah Birdramon to the rescue.

For a hot second there it looked like Yamato was going to be like “We don’t have time to save those Digimon” again. Which, I thought we worked through last time, so I was confused. BUT it turns out he only wanted Sora to know he’s got her number. He’s figured out she’s not the type who can turn her back when someone needs help, even if she’s got her own priorities to think about. Sora’s selfless. Yamato clues into that. AND HE TOTALLY SUPPORTS HER <3

Urrrk can Yamato do anything that isn’t Cool

I just love the way he holds them.

Sora faces off with the hive... who’s blast causes a volcanic eruption or something!

Birdramon fights back!

It’s not very effective!!!

Now as much as this is supposedly a Sora episode... she’s had some cool moments but it doesn’t feel like Her Episode as much as last week felt like Mimi’s ep, or the weeks before felt like they belonged to Taichi and Yamato. So actually, that makes it strike number two for Sora, although this episode is definitely better than episode four. It’s not fair. I’m just glad we got some new stuff for her this time, but the writers seem so determined to make her the “good girl” that they forgot character development needs to involve some stakes. So, in place of that, they just do another montage.

First Sora reflects on how useless Jou is.

Then she reflects on how hot Yamato looks when he’s totally helpless.

Then she thinks about how the two of them remind her of pitiful baby bees.

The result... Garudamon!!! Always my favorite Ultimate evolution.

It’s a laaaaaaaser battle!!!!

Yamato’s like “Holy crap I’ve got to get with this girl”

We then set up the intro for next week’s episode, with Koushirou’s computer starting to work again, though not completely. I want it to not work at ALL so Koushirou can be like “i’m no longer useful to my friends, woe is me!” and his friends can be all “Koushirou you’re my best pal no matter what!” and then he saves the day using his noggin. If it was good enough for Mimi’s grandpa it’s good enough for you.

I’m also amused to learn that in spite of apparently selling computers, Mimi’s grandpa too is an advocate of hitting them to make them work.

Agumon mimicking every adorable thing Taichi does is adorableness overload.

Taichi once again offers to smack the computer, like the Taichi of my childhood. However, he claims he’s joking. He’s a 21st century kid after all.

Agumon tells him hitting the computer will hurt his hand, so he should let Agumon do it instead T___T omg that’s the cutest thing EVER I’d give this episode ten stars for this moment alone

but ignoring adorable Taichi/Agumon and Jou/Gomamon moments, I’ll give this episode a 6.5/10. It was almost there! It really needed more Sora though! You know, the spotlight character of the week??

I just don’t feel her as convincingly as the others... which is in part intentional, I think, because that’s Sora. She doesn’t talk about her own feelings so much, she’s private, but she cares very deeply about those around her. I absolutely am with that, but I think that’s really challenging to write, and it wouldn’t bother me so much if we were getting more development in small ways for all the kids all the time. Instead the primary way is these spotlight episodes. We had them in 99 Adventure too, but there was more dialogue between the kids. Watching this episode, I had a thought like “This reminds me of a formulaic Pokemon episode.” As in, there’s someone to rescue, we rescue them, it has little to no consequence for us on a personal level and next week we won’t even mention it happened. At least this episode, they did mention Neemon’s group, to show how this is a pattern for Sora. I’m gonna cross my fingers that means Sora’s going to come out big in the future, we just gotta believe in her and wait. That being said, I’m not trying to be negative, I am also happy that we got these bits for her at all, and especially that we got it confirmed that Yamato sees through her as much as she sees through him!

Next week’s preview...

Kabuterimon: koushirou, you are helpless without your computer, never forget that!

... x’D not

Totally stoked for a Koushirou episode. I hope it kicks butt. Even if it doesn’t, we still get a good helping of my boy Koushirou. <3

[flatstarcarcosa]

@autistic-council-spectre

@therailwayarms

OKAY SO, it hit me the other week, like. thematically, right? zuko + regaining honor.........dishonored. hello??? 

but i had to go deeper and holy fuck did i ever??????

so for starters, it’s defs one of those au’s where instead of like a creative split of media, it’s just. “dishonored but the main characters are the atla cast instead of corvo and them”. 

the outsider has taken an interest in our royal fire family. he acts as if the affairs of humans mean nothing to him, but if anyone bothers to do the research, you can see he’s marked others in the family tree. 

azulon, notably, was not marked. 

sozin was, and used the powers of the Mark to start this setting’s take on the 100 year war. i have a background lore HC that he also marks a lot of the ‘airbenders’, and that the concept of an ‘avatar’ is something only they have, and it has to do w/ being marked. (the windblast power is clearly a placeholder for airbending, yfm?)

anyway. 

iroh was marked for a while, secretly. he went from being a normal commander to suddenly The Hero Of The Nation thanks to it, and no one aside from himself, the outsider, and his son knew. 

lu ten’s knowledge of his father’s mark is what got him killed. overseer’s mistakenly thought he was the one with the power due to his knowledge, and they murdered him for it. 

iroh killed about half of those responsible before he realized that not only is it not going to bring his son back, it’s also only going to reinforce the views the overseers have.

he piled his runes and his bone charms at a draped altar and sat in the candle light smelling burning chamomile until the outsider showed himself, and he renounced him. 

he gave up the mark, and the power, and he was the first human to ever do so. 

meanwhile, ozai has been watching his brothers successes from the sidelines and growing ever more frustrated with being unable to match it. 

one night, he awakens to a world balanced on end and awash in blackness, and the outsider taunting him by asking what would you do if you suddenly had the power to achieve your goals? 

he hides his own mark, for a time. he’s unable to completely hide it from ursa, and she is unable to accept it. she is unable to truly accept that the outsider is real and not a children’s fairytale designed to make kids behave, and she agrees not to involve overseers in exchange for ozai ‘banishing’ her and releasing her from a life she never really wanted. (she loved him ((because fuck what the comics say)) yes, and she loves her children moreso, but she never wanted to be royalty.) 

they swear to each other one day, they will reunite. perhaps not as partners, but maybe as free souls. and perhaps friends. 

he promises to care for the children. 

it is the first promise he breaks. 

ozai is plagued by the outsider. 

tortured. 

every time he closes his eyes, the black eyed bastard is there. 

is this all you can do with my gift? he asks. 

you were a dark soul all along, you just needed the proper push, he says. 

ozai suffers for years from exhaustion. he is unable to stop the outsider from visiting his dreams, and when destroying every shrine his soldiers find does not help, he resorts to refusing to sleep. 

it drives him mad, and will eventually lead to his downfall. 

at the height of his father’s madness, zuko is banished for speaking out of turn at a war meeting. his father holds him down into the smoldering embers of a fire in his office, and banishes him from the lands. 

the second night of his banishment, zuko awakens to a word balanced on end, and awash in blackness. 

“this is not the first time i have been with your ilk,” says the outsider. 

he marks zuko in spite of his protests, and it is here zuko learns that his uncle once carried the gift. 

“he calls it a gift,” says iroh sadly. “but really, it is a curse. i am sorry he has paid you visits.” 

iroh is now the one that begins to lose sleep. 

the outsider’s mark did not turn him into a maniacal tyrant, but he knows he chased the glory of being the dragon of the west because of it. he knows without the mark, he would not have slaughtered dozens of men in a blind rage. 

he knows the mark turned him into the worst version of himself, and he loses sleep with abject terror of what the worst version of his nephew could possibly be.  

in the end. 

he had no reason to worry. 

zuko turns out to be the one who should have been marked the entire time. the one who can turn the curse into a gift. 

among his journey, zuko discovers that while the outsider can visit whomever he chooses, and invade the dreams of mortals, 

so too can his family line. 

there is something inherent in this royal family, they can wander into the void when they sleep in the way that others sleep walk. 

ozai drove himself mad thinking the outsider was tormenting him, when in reality, he was the one trespassing in the other’s living room, and getting mad at the outsider being present. 

ozai’s control over, and power with the mark wanes the more mad he drives himself. 

zuko’s strengthens with every lesson he learns about the magic that enriches his lands. 

[okaybutlikeimagine]

okay how about hopper being really fed up with Billy’s bratty behavior and maybe yelling at him and maybe overreacting and acting a little aggressively and billy saying sorry sir and hopper realizing he messed up and quickly try’s to comfort billy

ohdeARR okay i think about this so often?? Bc Hop is def not a stranger to getting a hand on someone (re: everyone who dares cross him in all 3 seasons)(Jim “I’ll Punch Your Lights Out” Hopper) nor is he a stranger to getting a hand on a kid (re: S2 when Mike shoves him and Hop grabs Mike’s collar and gets all intimidating)

And I LOVE Hop w/ my HEART and SOUL and don’t believe for a second he’d ever in his life harm a minor/someone so much younger than him, but i most definitely think that he’s seen So Much Shit and is under so much pressure so often now with fuckin MONSTERS terrorizing his town that he gets a real short temper and just?? loses his head sometimes. A little tough love…? He never means to actually harm anyone.

So that means when Billy comes home dangerously drunk, after a long week of being a liitle shit on and off, and after a long long day for Hop, things don’t go over too well. Hop thinks it’s a good thing El is out with Max bc he’s pissed.

Billy’s eyebrows are furrowed a bit, but otherwise he’s clumsy and stupid and cracking jokes about Hopper’s weight and his mustache and the “horrible curtains on the windows”.

Hopper does his best to ignore it bc what he’s really pissed about is that the kid keeps throwing his life into danger by driving drunk. And then he’s even MORE pissed off that Billy gets so bitchy about saying “someone else actually drove me home tonight, old man.”

And not only that, but Billy is pulling that weird, casually destructive shit (re: S2 where he’s legit just pulling down the “decorations” at that Halloween party) and is messing with the house with no thought to it. He’s watching his boots scuff the floor over and over, making nonsensical patterns bc he’s fascinated by it. He casually pulls out a bunch of stuffing out of the pillows on the couch. He picks at the peeling paint on the wall even as he’s being yelled at to stop.

And Hopper is boiling, words not getting through, when he yells:

“Holy shit, kid, can’t you quit acting like a feral dog and just sit down?”

Billy turns angry eyes onto him.

“Well sorry Chief, but last time I checked this wasn’t my house.”

“And what does that mean?”

“It means I’m a dog and this is the pound, right?”

Hopper rubs a large hand down his face in exhaustion.

“Can you please just-?”

“And no one’s coming to adopt me, huh?”

“I adopted you.”

Billy’s not listening, swaying as he walks towards Hopper.

“Maybe you’ll hafta put me down.” Billy barks as he reaches his hands out and shoves, too weak in his real drunken state to really do much damage bc he’s tripping over himself but Hopper is livid right now.

So much so that he grabs a hold of Billy’s collar and spins him around and pushes him against the wall and puts a large, authoritative finger in his face and glares down at him and-

And…

Billy’s eyes are wide with fear. He’s staring up at Hop and that snarl is gone. He’s shocked, shaking like a leaf.

And in a split second Billy drops his head, tilts his cheek up and to the side a bit, breathes fast, eyes screwed shut.

“Sorry sir.” He says under his breath and looks like he’s waiting for something.

Waiting to be… holy shit he’s waiting to be hit. Waiting to be put down.

“Fucking…” Hopper mumbles under his breath as he backs away, looking at his hands like he’s expecting blood on them or something.

How could I...? When I know...?

He looks up at Billy then, who’s hard eyes have shifted up to to look at Hopper, but the surprise is still there, eyebrows twitching a bit.

Billy stands up straight, fixes his shirt a bit, and mumbles just loud enough for Hop to hear: “All done, Chief?”

“Billy, I’m-”

“Don’t lose sleep over it.” He’s still picking at the hem of his shirt.

“Billy I’m serious-”

“So am I.” Billy mumbles, voice sounding weak. “Don’t get your panties in a twist.”

“C’mon son.” Hopper starts walking towards him and Billy flinches at the sound of the boots on the ground. Hopper reaches out, placing a hand on one of his shoulders as gently as he possibly can. “I… I would never hurt you. I swear.”

“Right. Everyone swears.”

Hopper’s heart is in his stomach. But Billy won’t move. He’s not trying to leave, he’s not trying to skirt around Hopper to get to bed, he’s leaning up against the wall and staring at his boots and swaying a bit.

Hopper guides him to the couch, goes to make some hot chocolate bc Billy loves the stuff, and sits heavily next to the boy when both mugs are ready.

And they sit. In virtual silence. Like Billy is a scared cat in a new home and Hopper is trying to gain his trust; trying to prove he’s safe here. He puts on a couple records bc music calms Billy down. They talk a little bit, but Hop doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’ll have to ask Joyce…

And by the end of his second cup of cocoa, Billy’s asleep on Hop’s shoulder, drooling and snoring slightly, and Hopper makes a vow to never ever ever let anyone put an aggressive hand on this kid again. And maybe it’s a silly vow to make- the boy is a firecracker of boiling emotions -but Hopper just sees a kid who needed a strong hug instead of a harsh hand and if he can make this boy feel comfortable in this home with this little broken family they have now… then Hopper is the happiest man in Hawkins.

[mccoys-killer-queen]

tagged by @paper-sxn holy shit you’re right this is coOL

“What do you have in common with your favourite band members?”

Lepps. Who else?

Sav: curls, only having one pose/dance move, has two other siblings, loves Queen, almost had a different career path

Viv: Irish heritage, dog lover, found myself in too many different cliques to count over the years, flips people off a lot, has that ONE guitar bit I can’t seem to play, knows when I have been treated unfairly

Joe (sorry there’s gonna be a lot): whenever any small amount of money comes my way it goes right to the record store, the true mom friend that is not actually called “the mom friend”, long legs, eyes that are a shade of green, loves shoving my taste in music in everyone else’s faces, extroverted, would always try to incorporate my music taste into my art projects at school, thought of a cool band name but is not in a band, thinks I’m shitty at guitar, tried to write songs at a young age, remembers specific dates of things, worked in a dreary place that had no natural lighting as a late teen, “and everything I had to know, I heard it on my radio”, gets too close to the camera, dirty jokes all around, supports the killing of rapists/pedophiles, Dimple™, talks too much, fashion sense on crack

Pete: poses with my guitar in the mirror to look cool, has probably been given too many second chances to get my shit together

Rick: also curls, filled with rage as a child, artist, “crucifies meals in the skillet”, has been referred to as a “ray of sunshine” before

Steve: always down for bullshit humor, not 100% mentally okay, temporary intense stage fright that immediately dissipates when I get on stage, growing up in a troubled household, pale as all fuck, also long legs, can give off gay energy if need be

Phil: one longtime neighborhood childhood friend, gained a Terror Twin when I got involved with Def Leppard, grew up in a rundown area that was seen as shitty but enjoyed it there, only travelling done as a kid were short road trips to the same place, my closest friends are all younger than me, can give off gay energy if need be

this one’s really fun so I’ll tag people @interstell-a @lemon-grass-idk @classic-rock-roller @hysteria--when--youre--near

[miss-cinereo]

my thoughts on good omen ep. 1, written as I watched it

starts off well with god being a woman and Eve and Adam being black

aziraphale giving his sword to Adam!! and being embarrassed to tell Crowley but still telling him because he wants assurance I'm!!!

I'm 5 min into the first episode and this is already my favourite thing

how did they not know each other's names a minute ago but they're already sharing secrets, joking, and shielding each other from the weather

THE INTRO SEQUENCE!! the music! the paper cutout style! death on his horse! the fucking guillotine someone's carrying with them!

I'm less familiar with Gaiman's writing but I def recognise some delightful Pratchett vibes in this

these other demons taking things so seriously is fucking hilarious to me for some reason

ah, of course, never forget the paperwork

lmao that is a chaotic gay walk if I ever saw one

I mean sure I love demons and sassy bitches but aziraphale litterally shows up on screen and I squeal... he is so precious

(his completely nonplussed "it's sushi" says so much about how he too has been affected by living on earth without being as blunt as "he's been up here for too long" about Crowley)

I don't like Gabriel

there are going to be a lot of jokes about angels and miracles isn't there?

these satanic nuns are going to fuck up the baby exchange won't they??

lmao I wrote satanic nuns like 2 seconds before she said it

wow what a useless man "good luck" is not what you tell your wife as she's about to give birth to your child.

"baby A, baby B, and the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Prince of This World and Lord of Darkness" is such a good joke and I hope they run with it for a while

"a regular Y-chromosomed boy" wow this fucker would absolutely deserve to be handed the antichrist instead of his own kid. jackass.

ah what a wonderful mess of miscommunication and coincidence

LMAO who tf agrees to name their child WARLOCK when they even had a name fucking planned out?????? poor kid

and the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings and whatever else there was is landed with Adam because of course he was

fucked yourself over shutting down all those phonelines did you crowley?

also, his reaction to basically starting armageddon is swearing a bit before calling his boyfriend.. that's cute

Aziraphale's face when Crowley starts mocking him about all good classical composers being in hell is fucking amazing

((is it actually called gravlax in English?? another nordic dish to be proud of?))

them not knowing if the reign of terror was heaven or hell says a lot about both places tbh

"this is purely social" so.. hanging out (which they've clearly been doing for centuries at least) is fine, but actually cooperating is a no no? or is stopping armageddon a no no? which part is the issue here aziraphale?

the family went home after only 24 hours? I don't know a lot about childbirth but that seems way soon

trying to pronounce french words before giving up and saying it in english is,,, relatable

okay, disobedience was the issue (should have known, he is an angel) but yeah he's hardly been a puritan so far so....

wow I wish it was that easy to sober up for humans

Crowley is pretty decent at this demon, tempting/manipulating business isn't he?

wow agreement immediately followed by flirting huh? is that what we're doing

what the fuck is that lullaby

ohh, crowley going down into that mirror image was cool!

I don't like Gabriel

"don't lick the walls" ???

an 11yo who thinks he's too cool for dinosaurs is like the least relatable person ever

Crowley trying to hint at murder and aziraphale just. not. getting. it. is brilliant

poor aziraphale, no one appreciates his magic tricks ):

poor them, realising they've spent a decade with the wrong kid and probably fucked everything up..

dog is a great name, and the lovely description of what kind of dog he wanted let the hell hound know exactly what it should be. how practical

also, "the sort of growl that starts in the back of one throat and ends up deep in someone else's" is a very good line

"somethings changed" "its a new cologne" "not you, I know what you smell like" - gayyy

holy shit this is very good! (Im probably going to keep doing posts like this cause I have to express my thoughts but I don't wanna spam people with them)

[spaceymcspaceship]

twenty eight

the lodger

circa 2010

apparently this is the only episode in season 5 that is actually set in the year it came out??? like the other present day eps r slightly in the past or in the future

weird i love this show

in watching some of these eps for the first time i really enjoy seeing the doc do shit that i’ve had them do in fanfic and then clearly it was done on the show but i didn’t know that bc i haven’t actaully seen all of it? idk it makes me feel very much on the right wavelength even though making the doc build a sciency contraption out of household objects in their bedroom is not that hard of thing to guess the doc would do

the doc trying to be human is always a+ content

can we please use that telepathic trick again where he just knocks his head into craig’s bc that is top tier and i like to think that whenever the doc gets impatient they could just have that in their back pocket

i’m sorry the doc doesn’t have another name for the football team but introduces himself as captain troy handsome to the ship without hesitation 

night terrors

circa 2011

doctor who making ordinary shit creepy since 5ever

the episode was Good like i feel like there are a lot of takes on Nightmares and fear in this show but this actually felt really refreshing and interesting and not all rehashed

closing time

circa 2011

i completely forgot about this episode and how much of a delight it is

leave it to doctor who to do an episode that’s basically two men and a baby and a cyberman

there are too many good moments craig and 11 r underrated and i probably ignored them in high school bc i was too distracted by when we were going to see river next

speaking of which

river in academic robes is uhhh doing things to me

the wedding of river song

circa 2011

‘what happened to time’ ‘a woman’ HOW DID THEY GET AWAY WITH THIS STUFF

a wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff episode

river’s you are loved and by none more than me speech :’)

L E T  R I V E R  M E E T  H E R  W I F E

i genuinely can’t remember what happened to the silence arc...is this the last of it?

dalek

circa 2012

excited to go back to 2005′s version of 2012

why r we in utah again

the scene with 9 and the dalek is SO good like the reveal in the dark immediately into 9′s absolute viciousness and hatred and taunting and the no holds barred violence just holy shit eccleston 

god ROSE just ROSE

they did such a great job making the dalek truly terrifying

no offensive to classic who but daleks and cybermen r just not actually that scary by themselves they absolutely have to connect them to what they stand for

you would make a good dalek oof

i forgot how unbelievable this ep is def one of my favorite season 1 stories 

fear her

circa 2012

time to go back to 2007′s version of 2012

creepy kids has been a theme today

actually this plot is very similar to night terrors like a stray child of the universe who doesn’t want to be alone 

so many little rose/doc moments? her telling him to not eat the olives or whatever in the kitchen?? she points and he holds her hand in the tardis???

any actually canon relationship with the doc is an entire hour long sub-section in my Let 13 Kiss a Girl powerpoint

that ending is such cheese with the doc lighting the olympic flame and only this stupid show could make me still feel something with that because it’s so brazen and so doctor who

‘they won’t ever split us up’ my GOD rose u can’t just say that

the bells of st john

circa 2013

damn time is flying it seems i was just finishing up with 10′s present day which is Old nuwho to me and now i’m already onto clara’s present day which is Recent nuwho to me

i dunno why but clara genuinely not knowing about wifi is hilarious to me

okay when did clara’s theme start making me emotional?? 

‘you can always skip ahead to breakfast’ may officially be one of my fav 11 lines for personal reasons

so i totally see why clara immediately had a crush 

other than her first almost dying 90% of what they’re doing is like first date shit like drinking tea and talking to each other under the stars and zooming around london on a motorbike and getting breakfast together

wait when did the tardis interior change??? wut??? did i completely miss that???

rings of akhaten

circa 2013 (maybe???)

i love clara

i love everyone in this bar but i’m about to be on the clara train

WOW another line that i basically wrote in a fanfic not knowing it’d been on the show when the doctor is talking about how the elements were built in stars and then flung out across the universe i mean again not a stretch for the doc to say that but still

storiessss again i love one (1) thematically consistent show

just goddammit smith another killer speech and this time he’s just so tired

it does kinda bother me that if the god was the planet and they extinguished the planet then they just kinda gravitationally fucked up the entire system GUESS WHAT GRAVITATIONAL MASS WERE THOSE RINGS ORBITING U FOOL

whatever this is doctor the moon is an egg who

so much progress, and tomorrow i’ll have day of the doctor coming up!!

[mixtapekings]

Listen Review of Run The Jewels’ ‘RTJ4’ Album by djbooth.net

“…a shotgun blast to the face.”

Run The Jewels thrives on the spirit of rebellion. The duo, consisting of Atlanta rapper Killer Mike and New York rapper/producer El-P, has grown from indie one-off to one of the most impressive second winds in rap history. Their music finds the middle ground between cartoonish purist rap thrills and anarchic grit. At their very best, Mike and El-P will have you ready to burn everything in sight.

While RTJ’s music has always maintained an anti-establishment bent, the aggression on their 2016 album Run the Jewels 3, in particular, was channeled through the prism of revolt. In the wake of the deaths of Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown and the election of the 45th President of the United States, RTJ’s lawless spirit made them, however unintentionally, uniquely suited to address a world coming apart at the seams.

In the face of Armageddon, RTJ’s message hit differently. Four years later, with another wave of protests taking place in response to Black death looming large over the world, Run the Jewels are offering their fourth album, aptly titled RTJ4. 

The public needs music directly speaking to the times. Mike and El’s timing is perfect; the stakes have never been higher. Let’s see if the Jewel Runners are up to the challenge.

In usual 1-Listen fashion, the rules are the same: no rewinds, pauses, or skips—a straight shot through followed by my gut reactions. Let’s ride.

1. “Yankee & The Brave (ep. 4)”

Killer Mike opening with DaBaby speed. Man, these drums are THUMPING. “I’mma terrorize the actors playing like they want some drama.” No holds barred. Mike and El-P play rap hot potato like no other. El is floating. “I’m ready to mob on all these charlatans.” The beat sounds like a John Carpenter score stripped for parts and hooked to some boomers. “I can’t let the pig take me, I got too much pride / I meant it when I said it, never take me alive.” This exact energy is what I was hoping for. Revolt music right off rip. No brakes, all nitrous. “Yankee & The Brave” is how you open an album.

2. “Ooh LA LA” feat. Greg Nice & DJ Premier

Did El-P source his drums from fucking mortars? These boys are monstrous. El’s beats are big enough to walk through. I don’t like this hook. Greg Nice’s voice is grating. “When we usher in chaos, remember we did it smiling.” They may be smiling, but Mike and El sound pissed. “Ooh LA LA” isn’t playful music; it’s angry. This song doesn’t leave me shaking the way “Yankee & The Brave” did, but it’s still a nice jolt of catharsis. Premier scratches are always a plus. I’m glad he’s still so revered by rappers across generations.

3. “Out of Sight” feat. 2 Chainz

El-P made a beat out of jumping vocal cuts that would sound at home on a post-apocalyptic workout tape. He never fails to impress. I love hearing references to Public Enemy’s “My Uzi Weighs A Ton.” Mike and El are trading off lines. “I’m only doing what I want by hocking loogies at the swine.” I see why they wanted to push this project up two days. Forget “F*ck The Police,” this is FUCK THE FUCKING COPS. Mike caught a CRAZY flow and held onto it forever. The energy is stabbing me in the chest. If you’ve ever downed a bag of Pop Rocks with nails inside, then, and only then, will you understand the power of “Out Of Sight.” Here comes 2 Chainz. One mention of growing up in poverty, but the rest of his verse is just soulless flexing. It’s not 2 Chainz’ fault, but I’m not tryna hear his verse right now.

4. “Holy Calamafuck”

A reggae sample to start things off. And everything just devolved into a 404 error. The beat is actively falling apart. A line about jacking Supreme jackets and calling out hypebeasts. Are those record scratches or Windows 95 program glitches? I can’t keep my head straight. A line about drones and time elves. “Every other goddamn year I’m brand new / It’s been 20-plus years, you think that’s a clue?” TALK YOUR SHIT, EL. Since the Def Jux days. Mike and El stood the test of time, gotta respect it. These two were born to rap together. “PTSD, streets did the damage.” Mike is pouring his heart out. If the streets run red with blood, “Holy Calamafuck” will be the soundtrack.

5. “Goonies vs. E.T.”

These drums and synths were sourced from space. Mike and El are rapping for their lives. “Goonies vs. E.T.” is pure fucking chaos. How did they keep their heads together recording over this beat? E.T.’s healing touch couldn’t help them. The hook’s not doing much for me—it feels like dead space—but the beat is breathing. Man, this shit is manic. I’m on a sugar high. “The revolution is televised and digitized.” All facts. Mike has one of the most potent rap voices. I can’t see his face, but I know there’s fire in his eyes. “This is people with an attitude in Beverly Hills.” Making people uncomfortable is progress.

6. “Walking In The Snow”

A nice crunchy guitar riff to incite more chaos. The beat just cracked open, and now it sounds like a fucking Tesla coil. I feel more compelled to type the word “fuck” than I ever have during a review. “All oppression’s borne of lies.” El has been talking that talk all across this shit. El sounds like a preacher. “Just got done walking in the snow / Goddamn that muhfucka cold.” Who’s rapping on the hook? OH SHIT, IT’S GANGSTA BOO. Nice surprise. OG needs more love. “Every day on the evening news, they feed you fear for free.” Mike is laying everything out. “I can’t breathe.” That line really hurt. “The most you get is a Twitter rant and called a tragedy.” He’s just talking at this point. Brutal. I know he was fighting back the tears rapping this one. The beat is mutating like crazy. I can’t keep up—breathless rap music at its finest. I love love LOVE this song, holy shit.

7. “Ju$t” feat. Zach De La Rocha & Pharrell Williams

It’s the famous four-count! Pharrell must’ve had a hand in production along with El-P. Pharrell’s voice doesn’t fit into the cracks of this hook; it’s distracting. “Look at all these slave masters posing on your dollar.” Mike is doing call-and-response with himself. He’s talking about corporations co-opting marijuana and pedophiles in high places. “Confuscious say you’d better thug out.” That got me. El has a thing for turning voices into drum patterns. These beats are fun but they will also turn around and rip your throat out if you try them. Here comes Mr. Rage himself, Zach De La Rocha. His voice cuts through everything. I love how analog his voice sounds. He sounds fired up. I’ll take another Rage Against the Machine album, please. Without Pharrell, “Ju$t” would be close to perfect.

8. “Never Look Back”

A little techno bounce to start “Never Look Back.” All I can see in my head is Tron light cycles burning digitized vapors. Was that a Pop Smoke bar? His death still hurts. Mike and El managing to rap about current events and not sound lame is amazing. No other rapper their age could pull off a TikTok bar. Mike is rapping about his mother. Did she pass? Man, that’s heavy. So that’s why it’s called “Never Look Back.” “All that matter is gratitude. Gratitude is everything.” Who’s speaking right now? Can’t make it out. El is talking about how he never saw class or race as a child. Mike follows with, “Never look back, you’ll only be bitter / If you get bitter, you’ll never get better.” They’re confronting demons. RTJ4 feels as immediate and punchy as Mike and El’s respective solo work. Ending with a ticking timer, always coming through with the relief.

9. “The Ground Below”

Is this nu-metal I’m hearing? These guitars and smashing drums are super silly, even by RTJ standards. They rapping, though. “Screaming fuck the world and you can drink what’s coming from my urethra.” El always knows how to rap familiar shit differently. “Not saying it’s a conspiracy but you’re all against me.” Funny. A weird melange of sounds and images, and I’m not sure what to make of it. The raps are crazy, and the beat is kinda growing on me. Easy to believe them saying, “The money never meant much” when they’ve been giving out their albums for free since 2013.

10. “Pulling The Pin” feat. Josh Homme & Mavis Staples

Okay, last two tracks. If you’re gonna name a track “Pulling The Pin,” there’d better be an explosion. Ominous marching and some warbled vocals. “These old foxes got a lot of plots to outfox us.” El hit that Aesop Rock flow real quick. Those chorus vocals are ghostly. Josh Homme is a name I haven’t heard in a long time. Shout out Queens of The Stone Age. “Every cage built needs an occupant.” Is that Mavis Staples? It is! Her vocals are so rich. Staples finding space in this interstellar mayhem is wild. Mavis is my favorite feature so far. There’s much less frivolous shit-talking this time, especially from Mike. “Kicking and screaming while watching the demons collecting the gold and the diamond residuals.” Career-best rapping from Mike. More Mavis, thank God. “There’s a grenade in my heart.”

11. “A Few Words for The Firing Squad (Radiation)”

RTJ4 has been a ride. Ending with the firing squad can’t be a good sign. El starts with a short tribute to his wife. Touching. Mike back to rapping about asking his mom to cling to life. His kids, his wife, and his craft have made him a better man. These are death-bed confessions set to music. Mike and El must be rapping blindfolded, standing in front of the wall and the firing squad. Heartbreaking. “Last word to the firing squad was ‘Fuck you, too.’” Kicking and screaming. It sounds like we’re going out with a big instrumental explosion—saxophone, brass, and reverbed synths and choirs. This is BIG.

Where do Mike and El find the energy to keep expanding their sound like this?

Oh, we’re not done yet.

A narrator is laying down the story of two rebels forced together by the odds. They’re still running with this Yankee & The Brave angle. It’s playing like an end credits song. So… The whole thing’s been a TV show? I’ll admit, this takes away some from the immediacy of Mike and El’s message.

Final (First Listen) Thoughts On Run the Jewels’ RTJ4:

Run the Jewels dropping their fourth album in the middle of a global pandemic and a nationwide uprising is perfect.

The duo crafted a potent mix of braggadocio and political and personal reflection set to beats made for video game boss battles. Both Mike and El deliver career-best work behind the mic, and El-P’s production has only grown more expansive.

Golden-era boom-bap (“Out of Sight,” “Holy Calamafuck”), and murky synth-scapes (“Never Look Back”) are flayed and split open to create digitized warzones. They’re as frantic and restless as the rappers pushing them to their limits.

From beginning to end, RTJ4 is a shotgun blast to the face; an album to turn up to 11 while the precincts burn. Pent-up emotions shoot through every bar, every beat, and every second of breathing room. The anti-police sentiment couldn’t be more timely.

The only time the momentum drags on RTJ4 is when other voices cram into the frame. Several features are either inappropriate (2 Chainz on “Out of Sight”) or distracting (Pharrell on “Ju$t”).

Unintentionally, the running motif of the Yankee & The Brave TV show stifles some of the immediacy from Mike and El’s best verses to date. Maybe the TV show angle will age better in a world where the president didn’t just declare war on his fellow citizens.

Minor missteps aside, Mike and EL understand the stakes at hand. RTJ4 mixes the punchy and the profoundly personal with cartoonish zeal, EPMD by way of Adult Swim’s Superjail! 

Politically and musically, Run the Jewels are done asking for favors. RTJ4 is five-finger discount rap at its finest.

from Listen Review of Run The Jewels’ ‘RTJ4’ Album by djbooth.net

[prophetic-duck-drawings]

Cute HCs with new ships, part 1!

(AKA I’m unashamedly aboard the TorBeo ship and nobody can stop me)

Avogadro and Mars going because Mick gets word that neither of them have gotten to go before. EVEN BETTER, MICK AND HEATHER SURPRISING THEM WITH IT.

(Gadro loves it so much he’d want to honeymoon there but he would never admit it because he is the most stubborn person ever.) OMG AND MARS SUSPECTS THIS AND HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO TAKE HIM SOMEWHERE ELSE BUT THEN SURPRISES HIM AND TAKES HIM THERE

Avogadro taking Bear with him though in a little carrier and little kids keep on coming over and asking to pet him :D

ALSO IMAGINE GADRO AND MARS ON THEIR HONEYMOON WITH BEAR AND SOME LITTLE BOY IS TERRIFIED OF  FLYING AND GADRO LETS HIM GIVE BEAR WATER AND PLAY WITH HIM AND SUCH TO CALM HIM DOWN AND THAT’S WHEN GADRO IS LIKE “Maybe someday we will try this whole parenting thing…”

Mars took SO MANY PICTURES of that whole event and talked with the kid’s mother about their respective husbands.

Later they would offer to pay for the small family to stay at the Grand Floridian hotel (which is so fucking gorgeous) and make sure that their trip is magical too

(Avogadro would totally dress up like Flynn Rider though)

Mars INSISTING on going on the Tower of Terror together and Avogadro screams at the top of his lungs the WHOLE TIME but also loves it.

THEY WOULD GO ON STAR TOURS RIDE AT LEAST TEN TIMES IN A ROW.

And they would definitely hit both Toy story rides (Buzz lightyear and the one in Entertainment Studios) and would get all competitive with it and the winner would definitely owe the loser kisses.

(Avogadro always loses. No matter how many rematches he insists on XD)

This is off-topic, but imagine Mars being the first to have the idea to propose and he goes to Mick about it because Gadro’s parents are dicks and Avogadro is SO STUBBORN about wanting to propose and Mick and Heather and Inca and Pilot are just trying to get him to wait to propose while Mars is preparing his but Gadro is too stubborn about it so they both end up trying to propose at once XD

“I want to be his fiance!” “Just… wHY DONT YOU WAIT A LITTLE BIT LONGER”

(Avogadro would plan it by attaching the ring to Bear’s collar and calling Bear in and acting all “confused” but he’s a terrible actor of course. BUT THEN BEAR WOULD JUST RUN AWAY BEFORE GADRO CAN GET THE RING OFF HIS COLLAR AND AVOGADRO IS JUST LIKE “BEAR WHY” XDDDD.) (Mick probably planned that somehow tbh XD)

IMAGINE LOCKE AND JASON AND SANTANA TAKING RAS ON SPACE MOUNTAIN WITHOUT TELLING HIM IT’S A ROLLER COASTER AND RAS IS AT THE TOP OF THE FIRST HILL AND JUST WHISPERS “you lied to me” BEFORE THEY DART DOWN

Ras is totally scared of roller coasters but he is converted into a rider after he tries it out.

Also, imagine them taking Lev and Lev’s one aspiration is to be Peter Pan so he wears a little costume and gets all excited to meet Peter Pan XD

Honestly Santana and Ras would have like the weirdest dynamic ever just because he’s such a pussy and he does not take ANYONE’S shit so she would constantly be like “IT’S A FUCKING HORSE GET OVER IT” I LOVE IT

Jason: “Are our S/Os going to get along?” Locke: “O...one way to find out…” Santana: “IT’S A HORSE. FOR FUCK’S SAKE IT’S NOT GOING TO EAT YOUR CHILD” Ras: “They’re EVIL”

Also, Gio and Abri JUST WANt TO GO ON BIG THUNDER MOUNTAIN but it ALWAYS BREAKS DOWN AND THEY ALWAYS GET SALTY ABOUT IT (this was me freshman year lmao XD) BUT OBERYN IS SECRETLY GLAD BECAUSE PEOPLE DIED ON IT MULTIPLE TIMES AND PRETENDS (POORLY) TO BE BUMMED OUT

Gio wants to wear a princess dress just because he wants to so he decides to call dibs on Cinderella, but no, Abri’s idea of a costume is just straight-up CRUELLA DEVILLE  because ABRI DOESn’T FOLLOW YOUR RULES

Ras: “Cruella Deville? That’s Santana’s job isn’t it?” Santana: “NEIGH NEIGH YOU BASTARD”

Lindsay: “Please don’t make horse noises…”

Speaking of 42, here’s room for experimentation because I still dunno what’s gonna happen here, BUT

Imagine some 42 crew Disney shenanigans- featuring a bunch of little kids thinking Whimsy is an ACTUAL princess and asking her for her autograph and cute shit

TEMPEST WOULD HATE THE COSTUME HEAD OMG XD

ALSO EZIE AS A PRINCE AND TEMPEST AS HIS PRINCESS AND HAVING TO ACT ALL COUPLEY WITH HIM AND BEING LIKE “EW THAT IS BELOW ME” AT FIRST XD

Monty would totally be HYPE about it and Eloise goes with them because Uh, hells yeah, and Beo would tag along just because he HAD to. No other reason. Why would BEO want to go to DISNEY?

That facade lasts approximately ten seconds after they’re off the plane XD

They all get stuck in the tunnels under Tom Sawyer’s Island

That is so ironic omg XD I think Wyatt can tell you why that’s not a good idea XD

Beo would totally be excited about being there and would dress up EVERY DAY but you’re technically not allowed to wear costumes in the park when you’re a certain age but Beo would find a way around it as Beos do XD

Beo and his crew would accidentally run into Torque and their sisters at one point and then Beo would be on the hunt™ But this time not in a psychopathic way lmao.

Monty and Eloise would probably try to get rid of Beo for most of it because they don’t want him third-wheeling with them lmao.

Poor Torque just wants to enjoy their time with their sisters and now they have Beo conveniently meeting up with them and singing corny love songs from Disney movies XD

Probably after some shit with Nik happened tbh because lbr I can’t condone that relationship it was not all that healthy in the RPs. XD

Fiona and Ree are dying tho. Kyria is a bit too young to really get it, she just thinks that Beo is a prince and he’s singing just like he should be.

(“That prince isn’t a very good singer Torque.” “-_- I know he’s not -_- -_-” *Ree and Fiona cackling in the distance*)

Torque would call dibs on being Belle XD Fiona would be Merida, Ree would be Aurora, and Kyria would be Anna.

TORQUE COMES TO THE PARK IN THEIR BELLE DRESS. BEO BURSTS OUT FROM BEHIND THE FOUNTAIN WITH A PASSIONATELY-SUNG, FULL RENDITION OF “GASTON.” TORQUE IS #SHOOK

Monty would definitely be Lumiere. And they would both try to get Eloise to be either Cogsworth or Mrs. Potts.

PEOPLE LEGIT THINK THIS IS GOING TO BE SOME KIND OF PROPOSAL OR SOMETHING IT’S SO THEATRICAL. TORQUE IS STILL #SHOOK.

FINALLY the last day they’re there Torque agrees to catch dinner with him and Beo is literally SO EXCITED about that. And he would do EVERYTHING to make it obscenely romantic. But Torque is TOTALLY petty enough to bask in that kind of attention so of course they would totally doll up for it and be totally pretty and extra as fuck XD

Honestly I could def see these two working out because Beo will give his S/O ALL the attention and love and mushy gushy kisses and shit and Torque would BASK in being treated like royalty because they work so damn hard all the time that every once in a while the just need to be pampered.

Alright, I’m sold XD GAH NOW I JUST WANT TO WRITE BEO BEING AN OBNOXIOUS CUTIE AND TORQUE BEING EXASPERATED BUT SECRETLY BASKING IN IT

Literally Torque is ALWAYS on Beo’s mind, always. And Beo is literally BURSTING at the opportunity to do the littlest things for them

Like, Beo will be doing homework but then get TOTALLY DISTRACTED snapchatting Torque and texting them and it annoys the fuck out of whoever his roommate in Uni is but Torque knows that they can get him back on topic with a nudge.

Literally EVERY CORNY LOVE SCENE ever, Beo’s all on that shit. And Torque always acts it with him.

But he would get INTERROGATED by Torque’s sisters because they’re super suspicious XD

Also, imagine the Careers’ reaction to the ceremonial change of the relationship status on Facebook XD Whimsy clapping and being all excited and Tempest being like “WTF?”

Beo would fight anyone that even talked about hurting Torque though so she’d better be careful what she said XD

Also, Beo would totally say “I love you” really early just because he feels SO STRONGLY. And Torque is… Well, Torque is #Shook. XD But like a good shook. But after everything happened that knocked them down a few pegs they’re not sure how to react.

ALL THE POETRY. HOLY SHIT ALL THE POETRY. BEO WILL JUST WRITE SO MUCH POETRY. AND MOST OF IT SUCKS. But when he does free prose, it’s fucking gorgeous. Those are the ones Torque will pin up to their wall (alright, and a couple of the REALLY BAD poems just because they make them laugh.)

Torque would stay up SO LATE to study with Beo because by the time they hit their two month Beo’s totally comfortable around Torque and focuses best when they’re around. Plus, Torque is pretty strict about staying on task (true story xD)

Beo’s not sure how this is going to go considering that Torque is gray ace, but soon he realizes that for once he craves affection more than sex.

BEO WOULD TEXT TORQUE THESE LONG, MELODIOUS BLOCKS OF TEXT ABOUT HOW MUCH HE LOVES THEM AND HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE AND HOW BRAVE AND STRONG AND WONDERFUL THEY ARE AND TORQUE WOULD RESPOND WITH A REALLY LAME BLURB BECAUSE THEY CAN’T BE ALL POETIC LIKE THAT XD

But every once in a while Torque will say something that will make Beo feel all fuzzy inside and he will screenshot that.

Beo’s photo roll: half screenshots of his conversations with Torque, and half selfies of him and Torque.

Beo totally cries at their wedding. XD What a softie.

Beo always initiates kisses mostly because he usually thinks about it more than Torque does. But Torque definitely isn’t complaining.

Even dating in Uni, I don’t think they’d room together just because Torque knew that if that happened, the likelihood that Beo would focus on his work/classes would just plummet.

But man, lemme tell you that Beo’s roommate, whoever that poor soul is, would have the misfortune of hearing EVERYTHING ABOUT HOW TORQUE IS DOING. And tbh that person would have to be EXTREMELY patient and not afraid to straight-up steal his phone when he gets too distracted XD

Okay, well I imagine the first trip for the Richie and Lawerence kids would be on a joint vacation where it’s ALL OF THEIR FIRST TIMES.

Numitor is far too old for Disney, of course. Yesss XD Numitor would hold that facade until they stepped into the park and then that would be it, he’d be totally excited and he would practically DRAG Alchemy everywhere. XD

Alchemy: “I knew it” and she’d be very smug.

ARISTOTLE WOULD RIDE BUZZ LIGHTYEAR OVER AND OVER AGAIN. And he would be ALL OVER Space Mountain and basically all the rollercoasters. I feel like the younger ones would have to stick with the adults, but the 15s would be able to have a little bit more freedom in the park.

Cupid, of course, is ~far too old~ to be excited about something like that. But honestly seeing Trixie all excited would just hype him up even more.

Trixie dresses like her favorite princess (hm… Maybe Elsa?) and the whole day everyone in the vacation party treats her like royalty which just tickles her to no end.

If they go to Entertainment Studios and Numi does run into Semper than those two are going to ride Star Tours constantly for the entire time they’re there XD Nerds.

Also, the SPACE SIMULATION in Epcot. That ride lowkey triggers me though xD

Aristotle would totally have an Autograph book that he would use to get the signatures of ALL HIS FAVORITE CHARACTERS.

Numi and Tot are teeming with excitement about anything and everything Toy Story.

As for Rowe, he’s definitely gone multiple times as a kid so he knows all the parks inside out and knows exactly what his priorities are every time they go.

And Henryk is the opposite, he’s never gone. Though he always wanted to as a kid.

Fast-forward to, oh, let’s say… Wiz and Sorcery and Tot’s high school graduation. The parents decide to surprise them all with a squad trip to Disney and they are all so excited.

(Henryk may or may not have cried when Sorcery told him but just low-key.)

Rowe is a MAN WITH A PLAN. He KNOWS what he wants to get done and will not stop until he is satisfied. But he could probably be slowed down by Alchemy who is probably just tired of being dragged around by her overexcited friends XD

Aristotle would want to ride the Rockin’ Rollercoaster OVER AND OVER again, he is a roller coaster ENTHUSIAST.

Also, the squad would definitely make bets about what color the monorail is going to be that they’re going to ride on. My family always did this :)

Henryk would be in a CONSTANT STATE OF “OoO” the entire time. He would always just be amazed at everything and super DUPER excited. He would totally want to meet all the characters and do EVERYTHING.

Also imagine all of them watching a fireworks show together and being all snuggly. xD

Aristotle would be down to take Wizard back in the hotel XD Honestly Rowe would be dtf too but he’s much less, um, obvious about it XD

I feel like Alchemy’s and Rowe’s first time would be someplace special, like Disney. XD Or in the normal Panem world, after some major event but IDK what…

Maybe Rowe takes the stage with UV for a song or something? Idk. I mean, if that were the case then he would be SO HYPED afterwards that he would probably be more likely to initiate it. XD Oh yeah, true XD

Henryk would be dtecawm (down to eat cookies and watch movies XD)

Henryk would probably be low-key scared on the Haunted Mansion at first because he thinks it’s a legit haunted house XD

HENRYK WOULD BE LOWKEY EMOTIONAL ON WINNIE THE POOH BECAUSE HE NEVER THOUGHT HE WOULD GET TO EXPERIENCE IT IN PERSON T.T

Also imagine Rowe making a checklist of things to do and the best order to do them all to maximize riding time XD

(Also, imagine them going back multiple times throughout their relationship and each time the list is refined more and more. Then one trip they go and Alchemy notices he doesn’t have a list but he’s still dragging her along so she goes along and he just stops and says “alright, first item of the list!” and she’s like “what?” and he hands her this tiny piece of paper that just has one box that says “Ask Alchemy to marry me in front of Cinderella’s Castle” and it’s corny but also emotional as FUCK XD) AND THEN SHE SAYS YES AND LIKE SHE’S SO EXCITED BUT ALSO WISHES SHE COULD SHARE THIS MOMENT WITH HER LOVED ONES AND THEN NUMITOR RUNS OVER AND HE’S CRYING AND HE’S JUST LIKE “We made it Al” AND PRACTICALLY TACKLES HER AND THE REST OF HER FAMILY AND SQUAD IS CLOSE BEHIND.

MY HEART WHY AWWWWWWW THE FEELS WHYYYYYYY

In the actual Panem he would definitely plan something totally grossly romantic, like some kind of dinner on the beach under the stars and out of nowhere UV members keep appearing with instruments and Rowe would sing something grossly romantic and it would be totally elaborate and planned to a T. XD