#their newer stuff never really grew on me idk

[mercymaker]

girlie is pulling out the evanescence discography, we're really in it now

[waddleonmywaywardducks]

Something I would just like to get off my chest...

Literally I just want to talk my shit. This is just SOME of the shit I'm tired of seeing in my community.

I grew up in a extremely god-fearing Christian home. Most of my childhood years where spent in a church or with my nose stuck into a Bible. It was horrible. When I was 10, I was opened to the world of magic and slowly I realized that what I was reading could be true. I began to research as much as I could and now here we are. But anyways, as I began to expand my craft, I start to find myself with people who also practice!

My first experience with the shit talk in my community was from a witch who came from a long line of witches and claimed they were more powerful then me bc of that....I've never seen them practice or even attempt to practice....and their mother is a wiccan....ok yeah sure ☠️ like first off, literally I don't care, I don't care if your mother is a witch, I don't care that "you are the granddaughter of the witches they didn't burn" ☠️☠️ you can miss me with that. Second off, because they claimed to be a more powerful witch they said they could "mentor" me and teach me the "right ways" and when I said no they then told me I would never be powerful and that they would curse me....where's that curse at girlie???? I do not care for power. I do not care for control. I just want to find harmony with myself and the world.

The second experience I had, AND I KNOW EVERYONE. EVERYONE. HAD THIS HAPPEN TO THEM, was the "I've been practicing for x amount of years so....Im actually better then you" I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I do not give a fuck how long you have been practicing. Here's a real question, why do you, a "experienced" witch, feel the need to invalidate new witches, when your practice is all your own? Are you really practicing if you feel the need to scare and fearmonger newer witches? Why not help them?I remember I was at such and loss starting out because no one would tell me, they would be like "how could you not know that?!?!" Or "I would NEVER make that mistake" it's ok to make mistakes, fuck man 8 years later and I still make mistakes. Also, Witchcraft communities have always been about communicating, when looking for where to began, young witches would TURN TO THEIR ELDERS. Why have we driven away from that? Idk I just feel like if you feel the need to invalidate newer witches, you aren't actually secure in your own practice. So are you really better then me? Or are you just worried I'll become more "powerful" then you?

And I know we've all gone through the "I have the most expensive herbs so my spells are way more powerful" just say you love capitalism ☠️☠️ LMFAOOO the witches I see on tiktok are like the over consumption final boss like holy shit. I literally get everything I need from the forest outside my house, I literally haven't bought anything for my practice in like months because I put my time and energy into what I create for my deities, spells, and rituals. And honestly, Ive had way better results because of it. You don't need all this big fancy stuff, just get started with what you have. Make it your own.

Instead of doing all this, mind your business, stay to YOUR craft, and if someone asks for help you can give them what you can. Literally just be a nice person Jesus fucking Christ. Just be a nice person. The entire reason I made this blog was for witches who needed someone to push them in the right direction. This post was me talking shit, if you feel called out....then consider this a sign to try to be better, there's always a chance to start again. And also, in no way am I bashing witches who come from a long line of witches, that shit is cool as hell, I'm just saying when you use it just to be cool and not practice, bc i hate to break it to you but if you don't practice like at all, not even attempt to start, then you aren't a witch my guy im sorry being born into a witch family doesn't automatically make you a witch, you have to carve that shit out for yourself. But anyways it's 1am I'm tired I honestly have no idea why I wrote this. Ok bye.

[theemporium]

the idea that reader is racing to help out at home??? AWESOME

Maybe like she has little siblings that she takes care off cause her mom walked out or smth

Maybe she comes from lower class family and having food at the table was a treasure at one point and maybe she doesnt want her siblings to experience that??

i just know that reader got her passion for cars from a family member idk who

but maybe she didnt get it from a family eber and maybe she was shamed for liking such boy things

and thats why she kept her identity a secret maybe she wanted to be respected

-☀️

THERE IS SO MUCH POTENTIAL WITH IT

or like here me out!!! its gonna get sad but oh well!!

maybe reader lost her mum but she has younger siblings. maybe her dad remarried and they are technically her half-siblings or something but she cares about them like they are her own. maybe her mum was a mechanic or an engineer and so she grew up loving cars

but her mum died when she was young and her step-mum never cared about her. she despised her and always berated her for liking "boy stuff". maybe her dad became useless and was a shitty, neglectful dad. maybe both of them don't really care about her siblings so she takes over and acts like their mother in a way

she's good with cars. so damn good and she can make such good money through racing, even if it's dangerous and she can get caught but that is just a risk that she has to take. they live in a crappy, small apartment but at least she can get then food on their plates and nicer, new clothes (even if it means she can't get herself newer or warmer clothes when the winter months come in)

and maybe some of the street racers are dicks to her because she is a girl but she's used to that. she can deal with that, as long as she gets her money at the end. and she never planned to fall for anyone, but the boys are charming and she's falling and it scares her because her priority should be her siblings' happiness, not her own🫠

[tealcaste]

hey guys its time for my (not so) daily licorice cookie rambles uh

why am i writing this at 2 am my sleeping schedule is FUCKED

anyways cut off cuz this is.. long erm

anyways so you. you guys know how lico was never taken seriously and so he turned to. black magic n allat SO LIKE if i recall correctly he was first studying to be a wiscard or smth and so. what. what if he WAS taken seriously when he was younger

obviously he would b a wizard and stuff (yahoo! good for him!) BUT i can't help but wonder if he would still act as arrogant and egotistical as he is now... OR wouls he have a change of heart of smth and b the sweetest most kindest person ever.....

i once did make a silly little design of him if he was liek. redeemed or smth idk. how to word it but that deisgn is so old and i. hate it..... so.... i may make a newer deisgn for him and. share it erm

anwyays back to the other topic i personally think that he would..sorta be still the same if he was redeemed. depending on how long he had been recognized for if that makes sense.

IF he was recpgnized from a very young age, then i can imagine hed be somewhat really different to how he acts now.. he'd probably be a lot more thoughtful n considerate with others..

however, IF at first he didn't get any recognition but then had some sort of miracle or smth that eventually GAVE him recognition, he'd probably act a too similar as how he is now. Is it due to a constant need of validation? Possibly. Is it due to jealousy of others? Yeah probably that as well. BUT in the end he would've matured enough and he wouldnt be that worse as his current arrogant self is.. or maybe hed be the same but just keep it in his mind idfk

Okay first option may seem a little out of character of him but like. it sort of make sense at the same time?? like just one tiny thing eventually grew into something bigger and that completely changed his life.

if that small thing (that is his lack of recognition) had been taken care of before it became practically unfixable, lico wouldve 100% have had a complety different life...

or. maybe in the end it all goes downhill and then he becomes the exact way he is now. LMFAO

also btw im not trying to say that his current self is bad, i love his current self dearly, but i genuinely cant help but wonder about how different his life would've been if he had been taken seriously...

speaking of this if he was redeemed n stuff or just. became a wizard or whatrver he was determined to be (im half asleep and relying on my memory cut me some slack plea), i feel like he'd. be great friends with starfruit... no specific reason why i jist. have that feeling..

if i do make his design ans make a little story for him does. does this count as an auGETS SHOT

i wouldve made this longer but my brain isnt braining right now so erm

[mushangaa]

5 and 20 for the artist ask game! Hope your day is good!

5. What piece of art are you still proud of to this day? (Show or describe)

Easy. This one. "Listen" 2010/03

It is 13 years old, I was 19 when I drew it. That was the year I moved out of my childhood home and moved into my first flat. A lot of struggles were had that year. I was so young. I had a different name. I was a different person. And this image takes me back to being so young and unsure of myself and the world around me. There is so much of me in this picture, so much emotions I felt at that time and while it is not the most elaborate piece compared to what I can do these days it was very complicated to pull off for past me. Get the lines in the background just right to keep the flow and emotion I felt. My fingers were stained with graphite by the end of getting the lines down and it took ages to line them. I have often contemplated on doing a redraw of this one but deep down I know, even if I could do better I will never reach that feeling and emotional beat that went into the original; so I don't. I simply cherish this one as is and when I look at it I feel peace and a sense of accomplishment because like I said. I was a different person back then. I was so, so young but this young person turned out okay. This young person grew and stood up again and again and handled itself better with each punch life threw and eventually became me. This piece is like an emotional time capsule to me. However I am working on another piece currently, and while it is a rendition of a Gustav Klimt artwork "Judith II" the emotions currently going in this one already tell me it shall be added to the roster of all time favourites. The stage it is at currently already pleases me deeply. I am playing a bit more loose with my interpretation as the key elements that I really wanted to hit with this rendition is especially the hands. The hands of the original artwork just do something for me the way she holds them the way the fingers are curled like claws. Also the way the body is bend. I really wanted these elements in there the most. Also it is a good piece to pull forth my love for detailed little elements that I often use in backgrounds and can throw here in the dress and all that.

The characters in both pieces are mine by the way. In the first, that is Eve, from one of my older stories that experiences a bit of a hibernation as my focus shifted to newer projects. I have around 20 stories to bounce back and forth between and a lot of characters populating those so like... can't do all at the same time. For now I told myself to focus on two, one of those is The Unicorn Paradox of course. The other is "Raptamei" a found family type of deal but with pirates and the lady in the Judith II rendition is Ila (green peacock), she is part of that story.

20. What motivates/inspires you artistically? (topics, emotions, etc)

A lot of things. Music, Movement, Nature, People, Emotions. It depends on my mood and time of day and what is going on in my life in general. But like... it can be out of left field stuff like me zoning out at a river and the light hitting the surface right and suddenly I have an idea. I once chilled out at the bottom of a lake because it is very chill and quiet down there and muted and green and blue and the sun dances on the surface of the water and you know what water is kinda a big thing for me in general to let my mind wander and get inspired. Sometimes my mind just cooks things up when the music is just right. I heard a song recently - instrumental - that essentially wrote an entire scene for The Unicorn Paradox that has not existed prior and changed the direction of the story a bit in a way I have not thought of by then because I had an intense film reel popping off in my head in time to the beat of drums, dramatic violins and I think trumpets? Idk.

And of course emotions are a big thing. If I am not feeling it it ain't happening. Can I draw pretty stuff just because? Sure. But I myself can always tell if I drew something with feeling or just because even years later after the fact. I approach things different too for artwork I do for others depending on either how I feel about the person I draw for or how their works make me feel, and I think it shows`. To me it does at least. And in general, all my stories are tied to specific emotions and those bleed into the lines and colours. If I may refer back to the Unicorn Paradox - that story is born from grief but also hope and healing and it could've been entirely original (kind of) for sure but it popped up on a whim when I drew a cowboy and a sad horsegirl and I was like... you know what yeah. Yeah. Because in a difficult time of my life I became active in the fandom and it brought me relief and a sense of peace during even my off-days and then it kinda became "nah it has to be tmnt actually. it could be original but also not. Not really"

So mh yeah, lot of things do inspire me, sometimes the most random things that only make sense in my head on how they tapped a button in my brain but the biggest thing is Emotions. Music too but that invokes an emotional response so we go back to Emotion mainly. Thank you for asking <3 My day has been fabulous. I hope you had a lovely day as well Wren <3 Feel booped.

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

this is a very venty post don't mind me :D

that nintendo direct was so horrible.

it was literally like 80 percent remakes and remasters.

never in my life have i seen an announcement video exist just to say "every game you've ever known since the 90s is being remade/remastered, sorry, we ran out of originality".

literally like all the video game market is anymore is remakes and the movie industry is just as bad.

the nso releases are fine because they're not like, remakes taking up full game slots. they're old games that are being made accessible and that's great... but there's no need to remake this many games when they can do that. remakes used to be rare. remember stuff like the wii u shop and stuff? with all the games they had on those things? now it's a tiny selection and everything else is a remake :/

also I feel like a lot of new rpgs are just like... lowkey fe knockoffs now instead of original rpgs.

i'm happy for like... two existing remakes, but one of them is mario rpg which people wanted waaaaAAAAAYYYY before the remake and remaster era, and the other is baten kaitos which im not actually happy about remaster-wise (the updated ui is trash, they took out very specific charms of the original ui), just happy that it will get more recognition/notice from people since it was never popular.

they also completely removed the english voice acting which like okay yeah it wasn't always that great but the voices fit perfectly and it wasn't as bad as fans meme on it for! it just sounded like they were talking through a tube and that was actually the worst part of it lol.

someone suggested to me that they may have just lost the data for it, but idk. i wish they'd just admit that somehow if it was the case, because it bugs me that the english audio is just completely gone when ultimately i really liked it. i wanted the game to be accessible to newer players, sure, but i also wanted the english audio there. ig that's because i grew up with it and i liked it, but it's still such a bummer for me!

paper mario being put on the nso and tyd getting a whole remaster does make me sad tho bc it feels like they're leaving the original in the dust when it was so good. if you're gonna do tyd, at least do them both.

good for innersloth though, i'm sure they never imagined being on a nintendo direct. they're the real winners here.

[banghwa]

he has spoken about not liking lie before -> twitter(.)com/hopekidoki/status/1182945190710874112 i think it could be a mixture of wanting to show a more positive side to the world + having to record lie at the peak of his eating disorder and struggles with perfectionism and whatever else was going on in his life. but then he also did face which imo is just as dark (his own father thought the album was too sad), filter is even more self-revealing, i think he probably just has some bad memories around it and wasn't ready to show himself as flawed back then?? idk

that is soooo crazy why did i never know this :0 that makes so much sense tho now that i think abt it, 2016 was such a rough time for bts in general but esp jimin. more than anything its probably bcs of how close-hitting and vulnerable the song is, and even if he grew to enjoy performing it its still like. really uncomfortable and tied to a lot of hard moments. which is whats rly crazy to me given thats a theme he definitely leans into more now. and i think. in a way those complicated emotions are part of why face and filter are the way they are. bcs he had to essentially force himself to like a song that was so emotionally exposing and yet it wasnt rly taken as that at the time. i think that sort of paradox is rly evident in his newer stuff and its just so wild how strongly it shaped his artistic voice...

[polyamorouspunk]

legimately feel bad for gen z, never grew up with privacy and stuff like that. I know that one anon ofc very clearly stepped outta line n I made the joke anon msg about how u gotta tell me all ur info so I can call u a faker, but like legimately it's sad seeing kids put all their info online and when they're available or not etc etc, lotta gen z didn't grow up with properly privacy and the newer generation has it even worse. I hope the kids will be alright n we can push them into having more anonymity and privacy.

I said this in the tags but honestly if someone genuinely asks me a question about myself, I will answer, honestly sometimes even if it’s something I want to keep private. Recent events have reminded me that literally anyone can see this blog and follow me and I have no idea who they are. My Instagram isn’t private when a lot of people I know have theirs private but also I don’t really tag anything from where I live, the most I do is post pictures from my house but not with the town or anything. But I mean you can easily find where I work on here (like the exact store) if you tried, I’m pretty sure I’ve posted my full name multiple times on Savvy’s blog because I think I also grew up in that era where online privacy wasn’t a thing. I mean of course I got the “creepy men might be behind the computer screen catfishing you” but like idk I’m not saying I haven’t done things like that, they’re just mentioned conversationally not in a pinned post. I mean you can find my full first name on Savvy’s blog, obviously I don’t go by that and she prefers to go by Savvy because both are a bit more gender neutral and just more comfortable for us but. I have absolutely learned how to manipulate people to call them out for things I don’t like about them… mostly when they’re like exclusionists but if I really tried I’m sure I have the technical skills to like “cancel” someone for something they didn’t even mean out of context. I learned that by growing up in the internet age. How to take things out of context. That’s not really what you’re talking about but just another thing that came to mind. Like how much easier it is now to fake things and how 1. we are less trained to spot them and 2. they are deliberately made to be harder to spot as fakes. I mean I have had penpals though, I did just send out a shirt to someone who Savvy is mutuals with so like I have their address and they have mine. It’s a fine line. But I mean I used to listen to a stalker podcast (and by this I mean a literal podcast where two people interviews victims of stalking and told their story) and some of the stuff I heard on there was WILD. Just listened to a case I finished like half an hour ago about a woman who catfished a man into thinking he was dating her dying niece who the government and doctors were trying to kill and people ended up dying from the situation all from her charade of having multiple phone numbers and being able to fake personalities of characters she made up really easily. Just wild stuff. Had an assignment due last night that was a discussion board in biology and someone brought up technology and I was like we have the technology to literally change your bone structure and shit. Not the same as social media obviously but just like wild shit. Even at thanksgiving hearing one of my cousins was constantly talking to a boy in her class but my family said in class they like never speak to each other and I’m like that’s so wild. You don’t speak face to face but you see him every day. But you talk to him for hours every night. Just stuff like that is such a cultural shift. Such a fine line too as a parent between not trying to be overbearing and like read your kids text messages but also make sure they’re being safe. Can’t imagine how to navigate that as a parent. Like how do you know your child isn’t sending photos of themselves on Snapchat. Without like invading their privacy and reading their messages and stuff. Just wild.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw mention cocsa, parental abuse

looking for someone to listen about my story, also questions at the bottom

I was abused by a kid my age when I was really little, ive dealt with all sorts of symptoms bc of that (and other traumas ive been through.) my parents were abusive as well as an ex and my parents stood up always for my other abusers saying maybe they were victimized and I was the bad guy...

there have been some occasions my parents have straight up admitted to abusing me growing up and it felt really good hearing that, still feels really validating even though they didn't mean to validate me they did.... they didn't apologize but they change their story up so many times by saying I was at fault, then saying their abuse was justified (admitting it, YAY), then implying their abuse WASN'T justified (even more YAY) bc they will get defensive and scared saying things like "I was never a bad mother! I tried! cut me slack! im tired of you acting like im so horrible" which idk if you mods agree or not but in a way she's showing she feels guilt and shame bc she knows her abuse towards me wasn't justified....?

also, ive started to do my research and recognize somatic and emotional flashbacks ive been dealing with, some I can relate to specific traumas, I usually try not to think of any of my memories or abusers

but rare times when i decided to think hard about a specific abusive scenario I went through with a specific abuser and I went into this sort of horrible emotional/phsycial state along with somatic experiences with some of my five senses re-experiencing I guess things I don't remember too well about the event usually goes on for half-hour to 3 hours. some of these are new and scary.

im glad in a way to be experiencing these things bc I grew up believing my abusers that I was abusive. but my reactions to being abused were completely valid and normal...

sometimes if I think about specific trauma events I start feeling physical sensations like my whole face becoming flush and hot, heart racing. but it goes away quickly sometimes. idk what that is but the memories feel like dreams and its kind of validating when I experience that stuff bc I know its real when strong, scary emotions and physical sensations are attached to the memories, esp newer ones I keep getting...

and I get auditory hallucinations which scare the living shit out of me. I feel like I get into states of fear for my life. idk if thats a flashback or not?? idk if im psychotic or not?

I also have a question? is it normal to feel "obsessed" with your abuser or preoccupied with arguments in your head with your abuser? is that cptsd symptoms or am I just weird for that? seems contradicting bc I try not to think of the abuse, and get irrited with intrusive thoughts about it, yet sometimes obsessively choose to think about arguing w my abuser and I get so heated....

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been through. It sounds like you've endured a lot of painful and isolating experiences that can be incredibly challenging to grapple with, and please know that you're not alone.

It can be especially frustrating and isolating to experience your parents immediately siding with your abusers instead of considering your perspective or feeling protective over you. It seems that their abusive behavior towards you over time explains why they don't support and care for you in the way you deserve.

I can understand how validating it can be when our abusers admit to what they've done. But sometimes they mention these things in a nonchalant or unapologetic way because they fail to recognize the gravity of their actions, and perhaps they haven't changed. It's important to remember that there is no excuse or justification for abuse, and it's common for abusers to construct reasons to avoid accountability. It's possible that the way your mom responded could suggest that she feels guilt, but it could also just be an attempt to justify her actions instead of take responsibility for them or feel guilty.

It sounds like you may have been experiencing flashbacks when you described the sort of sensual and emotional state that lasted for several hours. It's understandable how it can feel validating to experience this when your abusers have been painting you as the abuser and playing the victim themselves (aka DARVO). But alongside these other physical sensations such as a racing heartbeat and a hot face, it's important to find a healthy balance between allowing yourself to experience these physical symptoms and validating your trauma in less distressing ways.

Feeling obsessed with your abuser and preoccupied with arguments with your abuser in your head can be a part of rumination. Please know that you're not alone in experiencing this and it doesn't make you weird at all. There are many reasons why trauma survivors do this, and sometimes these thoughts are intrusive. Rumination can be especially difficult in the case of CPTSD, because a trauma survivor with a string of traumatic events has multiple different things to ruminate on, and it can be hard to ruminate about one aspect of the trauma without starting to think about another.

These could be things to bring up with a mental health professional such as a therapist, if you can access or afford it. A therapist can help you process your trauma, work with you to explore these symptoms and discover where they may be coming from, as well as finding healthier ways to validate your trauma.

If anyone would like to make any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[transmandrake]

Find it kinda funny but also interesting that the reason i dislike gen 6 of pokemon and the reason i like gen 4 of pokemon is basically the same reason, in that both I feel are the biggest 'potential' generations.

Gen 6 is so frustrating because theres so much stuff that goes completely unused (those doors in the I think desert? Haunt me.) or evidently shunted to the next generation (zygardes whole quest in sumo!! Wtf!!) But generation 4's kinda the opposite in that its wierdly empty in places... it really feels like Baby Gen 5 with the vibe of the plot. The needlessly complex world creation story, the sheer amount of legendaries with the their own little story (which they kinda stopped doing) its a super wierd generation. It gives you so much to think about.

So I dont quite get why I dont feel the same about gen 6. AZ and the fucking town laser life sucking machine? Fucking amazing. There was a pokemon war? Hell yes, what are they going to do with this. But man. It just... doesnt go anywhere! Team flare is so boring and have the flimsiest motivation! Aaaaargh the setup is so good on the backstory but the main gameplay doesnt match it at all!!! Its not even that I want them to go full horror on the implications of Pokemon But War, but gen 5's main plot is so philosophical and intriguing without being at all unchild friendly. Like, they clearly can do a darker/more nuanced plot without pushing the series's tone too far. Mystery dungeon is right there too. Like, gen 4 doesnt really go places with its plot either, but idk, at least spear pillar is climactic, even if it feels like it gets dropped and never mentioned again. But pretty much every games post-plot but pre-elite 4 is a wierd limbo so. Idk.

Itd obviously get tiresome if every game did it but wough, gen 5's ending where it isnt beating the champion is so good. Gives you that little bit of unfinishedness to incite you to keep playing.

Maybe its just the games themselves. Its so sad bdsp werent proper remakes because, again, along with 6 its the most undercooked generation. And im saying that as someone who grew up with it. It needed the hgss treatment more than any other generation. *sigh*

Its so bittersweet that I grew up on gen 4/5 which are, in hindsight, complete outliers on having a fairly complex/serious plot, and actually the plots in the newer games are, if anything, a return to form. I guess gen 2's plot with the rival and the rockets gets close to that? But that's kinda it.

Sumo is also wierd. I forget it exists because I dont want to think about how much of a relief it was that they werent going to do the same thing over and over forever. *sad noises* Its the perfect generation, tonally, for what a pokemon game should be, even if it isnt my favourite or what I want.

[a-wild-things-rambles]

hi the post above finaly got me to wright down alot of my thoughts to do with john and the community's hes been part of and how that affects him [through my eyes as a younger person in alot of the same community's, looking at the people who have lead similar lives- minus the occult stuff[mostly]] its long but there is a tldr

[for context my tags on the post: #especialy “John wouldn’t probably own a bisexual flag ever or have any pride memorabilia”#that really made something click im my mind for john#alot of they way i approach john is through the lens of an old punk#idk how to explain but you have these people that are subtely off from the norm but normal people cant quite put a finger on#and you could never tell from looking that they say go to all the protests and riots and sing for the tories to die#theres people who wear it proudly#and people who hide it because of others reactions#or just cause its personal and not strangers buisness#i feel john grew up with people having enough reasons to put him down. hes not handing them more#but also theres a difference between pride in part of your identity and showing other ppl and strangers it#some stuff is very personal- im p out and proud queer but there are some other apects of my identity that im very proud of#but dont want to shout from the rooftops#cause its personal#and i think thats how john feels about his bisexuality#its part of him and i dont think he hates it#but its just. a part of him#sorry for the long tags tldr your right and i hadent thought about it like that but it makes alot of sense#john constantine]

I always feel it’s important to look at the character and the history, and not ascribe newer ideas and things to older characters- i think there is a lot of value in looking at how john would approach it differently than lot of people now- especially looking through the groups has been part of, the people I know like john [northern, working class, dysfunctional family situations, bounced around alternative groups and subcultures] sexuality isn’t really a big thing? people are accepting of queer people but. it’s just not a thing that’s announced, gender roles are being broken by most people anyway and there’s just this acceptance and disregard of labels that tends to come from being in the mixed community of all types of people who have all had millions of different labels - I found out that two of the people I consider my aunts are both bisexual cause my mum was joking about how they can pick anyone but neither have had a long term relationship. it’s just so casual, you love who you love, and you are who you are and it’s not really anyone’s business- i found out an old friend of both my parents was a trans woman- unfortunately I never met her before she passed- but I wasn’t told until years after I came out as trans because it wasn’t a big thing, just one part of the identity of an old friend. I think it’s hard for a lot of queer people to see someone talk about 'oh we don’t care about the labels' and how it’s not that important, but the way it is now and was seems to be the true ideal of that idea- no one cares about the labels- if they turn you down they turn you down, if they correct the pronouns they have corrected the pronouns, "be who you wanna be do who you wanna do". You’re the captain of your fate.

I mentioned bouncing around groups and labels, and it’s something I see a lot of irl and very much informs my view of john, I am part of a community of people who have all been through different subcultures and groups- rude boys and metalheads and hippies and punks and travellers- all having stood against the mainstream but found no one label fits them. most of the people I have met at the gatherings have very complex identities- rude boy to punk to post punk- hippie to punk and so on, the mixing and combining of subcultures to make something that’s the best of all the things you love and are- I know we talk a lot with john about him being punk/expunk- but he was a hippie for a while and has been part of many subcultures- to view him as a binary- punk and then post that, seems reductive- I know these days people have ideas more solid borders on subcultures, you’re a punk or a goth, rude boy or hippie- disregarding the long history of people being part of both or multiple groups- and the groups that form from those overlaps. so yea I think it important to acknowledge that john has been part of many subcultures and that informs him- especially the identity issues due to not being wholly one thing, it’s why my community is great- no one is simple, it always a mix- folk and punk, ska and folk, dub sets played on fiddles and banjos- it’s about celebrating our defences, and coming together in our differences to appreciate and celebrate the complexities and contradictions of others, and the things that come from that. one love and all that.

we are the sum of our experiences- and we should celebrate that!

but it comes to a point where you get tired of breaking down all the influences and your just you. are you punk? are you buy? are you a rude boy/girl? are you gender queer? you get tired of the labels and boxes and are just you- after all YOU are the sum of your experiences. other people can look at you and try an analyze you but that’s their thing- your you and the labels that used to matter don’t as much- your comfortable being you, you like some of the music some people do and some music others do- you dress like this but also like that. labels and trying to be a certain thing can get tiring, it’s easier to just be you. it’s a long road to get there- and a hard one to- but as much as I revel in being part of a group of people with the same experiences as me- it can get tiring having the only parts of my identity they engage with be the part we share- god knows I’ve made lots of friends through queer solidarity but sometimes I want to be me not the labels, to be looked at in three dimensions, its why there is a community of people whose best answer to most questions is 'it’s complicated'

ok that ran away from me but that’s why I think johns identity is complex and his queerness isn’t a big thing he shows of.

tldr: often people who go from subculture to subculture trying to find something that fits them get to old and tired to make themselves into the latest thing and no longer can be asked to care about labels and end up content being them and if u wanna try and break them down into all the separate identities then that’s your thing but it’s a bit weird mate. And that’s why I agree that johns not loud about his bisexuality.

[disneylanddilettante]

The Disney Renaissance Killed the Disneyland Star

This post has been brewing and stewing in my brain for some time.

We here in the Disney theme park fandom are prone to lament the modern attraction design philosophy that says everything must be based on a movie. Aside from spectacularly clueless comments about “a random mountain in India or whatever” and misuse of the term “barrier to entry,” the reason behind it seems to boil down to: That’s what guests want. On the one hand, this is very clearly an excuse to do what Marketing wants (because film IPs are proprietary in a way that broad concepts are not, and can be merchandised accordingly), but on the other hand…it seems to be…kind of…true? The vast majority of the public, in my experience, does think of Disneyland (which I am going to use as synecdoche for all Disney parks, because it’s the one I grew up with, it’s easy to say, and because I can) as a place where you see Disney characters walking around as if they were real, and go on rides based on Disney movies, and anything else there is just to, idk, fill space until they can think of a cool movie makeover for it.

I have spoken to people online who quite enjoy Disneyland, but also think the Enchanted Tiki Room should become a Moana attraction, Tom Sawyer Island should be something to do with The Princess and the Frog, and the Matterhorn should be turned into Frozen. When I challenged them as to why, they didn’t seem to understand the question—what did I mean, “why?” Isn’t it self-evident? A couple years ago, one of the Super Carlin Brothers (I don’t remember which one; anyway I couldn’t tell them apart if you put a gun to my head) made a video expressing bafflement over the use of Figment as a mascot in Epcot because “He’s not from anything.” As if a ride in that very parkwere nothing.

So there is something to the assertion that film IP tie-ins are what regular guests expect and want. But the question remains as to why they want that—after all, it didn’t used to be that way. Costumed characters and rides based on movies have always been part of Disneyland, of course, but in past decades, the most elaborate and promoted attractions were the ones based on unique concepts that had nothing to do with the movies. The reasons to love Disneyland were things like the Haunted Mansion and the Mark Twain and Space Mountain…not so much the chance to meet Mickey Mouse. So what gave the public the idea that it was all about movies and characters? I’m sure there are several reasons, but I’m going to focus on one that I don’t see brought up that often.

I’m going to blame the Disney Renaissance.

Let me give you some personal background. I’m a young Gen-Xer, born in 1977. I was a child of the 80s…and in the 80s, Disney wasn’t doing so hot. Feature Animation had dropped to a cinematic release about once every four years, the live-action division was even less productive, and the corporate raiders were pawing at the door. In those days, when I saw a Disney movie in theaters, probably four times out of five it was a re-release of an older classic. (Anyone else remember when that was a thing?) There wasn’t much new at Disneyland either. The biggest thing to happen in the first half of the decade was the remodel of Fantasyland, which added one new ride—based on Pinocchio, a 43-year-old film—and otherwise just rearranged and refined what had always been there. On the other hand, the big Imagineering projects of the 60s and 70s were mostly still going strong.

The upshot is that if you were a Disney fan in those days (there weren’t many of us, even in my age cohort), you were a fan of the older movies and/or the parks. And for all its genuine quality, that stuff was showing its age. It was made in decades past, and there was a corniness and a quaintness to much of it. Most of the kids my age considered Disney “baby stuff” and were eager to put it behind them. It seems to have been a widespread phenomenon, because I don’t remember the park being very crowded when I was a young kid. Queues for even the roller coasters tended to top out around 45 minutes and it was very rare that we didn’t have time to do everything we wanted on a given visit.

And then, the year I turned 12—the year my age bracket hit puberty and could definitively be said to have outgrown cartoons altogether (except for the weirdos like me)—The Little Mermaid hit theaters.

Two years later, we got Beauty and the Beast.

And the hits kept coming. Suddenly, Disney was the hottest thing in entertainment again. Not just kids—by this time the generation that would come to be known as Millennials—but their parents watched these movies and went wow, this is really good. Disney is better than I thought. Maybe we should rent some of those older movies that I remember from when I was a kid. Maybe we should go to Disneyland… Unlike in the past, when families went to Disneyland because it was advertised and known as a family destination, families went to Disneyland because the kids were going gaga over the new Disney movies and the parents wanted to make them happy.

So a whole new generation of fans flocked to the parks, most probably never having been before, or not recently. They didn’t know what to expect. They just knew they loved these new movies with their endearing lead characters (so much more full of personality than Snow White or Alice or Pinocchio) and their big bombastic Broadway-style musical numbers (so much more in line with current musical tastes than the Tin Pan Alley ditties from Cinderella or Peter Pan or The Jungle Book). That’s what they wanted from Disney, whether they were paying six bucks a head plus popcorn, or fifty bucks a head plus lodging.

And that would have been fine but for the fact that endearing characters and big bombastic musical numbers are really hard to build traditional dark rides around. What you can do, though, for people who want to meet their favorite characters, is build dedicated character meet-and-greet spots. What you can do for people who want to sing along with Academy Award-winning songs is create huge colorful parades and stage shows that feature those songs. Best of all, if you are certain people who shall go unnamed, these sorts of things are much cheaper to create and operate than rides. Corporate was more than happy to meet, rather than try to exceed, the expectations of this new wave of fans.

The newer guests got used to seeing more-or-less verbatim (condensed) film content in the form of these shows and parades. The classic dark rides began to look decidedly odd to them—why are the movie events out of order? Why doesn’t the main character show up more? Why don’t we get to hear all the songs? And no one was there to explain it to them, because the older generations of fans had largely drifted away and the internet wasn’t quite a household staple yet. Rides that weren’t even based on a movie seemed even odder—what does a Wild West roller coaster have to do with Disney? What does a submarine ride have to do with Disney? I thought this park was supposed to be for kids, but my kids don’t recognize this stuff! They should build a Lion King ride! They should build a Toy Story ride! That Snow White ride isn’t suitable for kids; they should do something about that! I didn’t pay all this money to stand in line for an hour and a half and go on a ride that my kids don’t get!

The pattern was set. IP tie-ins were what the people wanted, and they closer they hewed to their source material, the more guest approval they got, simply because people didn’t know any different. And it has snowballed from there. The Disney Renaissance was amazing for the art of animation, but I think it was a net negative for the art of theme parks.

Tl;dr The Disney Renaissance changed guest expectations for Disney entertainment products in ways that were incompatible with classic Imagineering principles.

[ehbunnehsblog]

Hello and howdy peeps it is yo girl again with another post but this time its dolls yeah that's right dolls! Okay but really I just wanted to do a post about discontinued dolls because I thought it would be nice and fun and since I haven't posted in a while I thought it would be a good thing to come back with and well here it is.

Numbah 1. Novi Stars

I didn't have these dolls as a kid and I didn't really like the look of them although now I think they look really rad and honestly alien dolls? Amazing idea! I am not sure but I think these came out near the end of Bratz. They were made in 2012 and didn't last very long and ended in 2014 and like I said as a kid I didn't really like the look of these dolls so I can understand why kids didn't really flock to these dolls maybe since well where would they fit in like with me I played with Bratz with other Bratz i never played with another doll and a Bratz doll it just didn't feel like it fit in that universe but anyways the doll line only had 20 dolls and the names they came up with are very smart and I really think it's cool. If these were to come back I would probably buy them as long as it's a reasonable price. I can't see these coming back anytime soon but hopefully one day they will but since they I assume weren't as influential or popular as Bratz it will probably take time for them to come back to the world.

Numbah 2. Lalaloopsies

These tiny (and big) dolls also came out around the end of my doll phase or I guess the best way to put it is when I was not getting into the newer dolls and toys. Lalaloopsies were these plastic ragdoll type dolls by again none other than mga entertainment they came in small and in some series big some also had hair and some were just plastic hair. I had some although I didn't play with them much but they were very charming and different from the other dolls I really like this era of dolls because they weren't meant to be humans they were just whatever like above aliens and just really whatever. These dolls also came with super adorable playsets and little pets just like another doll I will be talking about later on this list. Pretty sure I had almost all of the Lalaloopsies in this photo but I do not have them on me. There are at least 156 residents in Lalaloopsy land and 88 of them are tall, 39 are mini and 35 are little there are 150 females and 8 are males. They also have a or had a show on Netflix. Do I think these dolls could come back? Absolutely yes.

Numbah 3. My Scene

My Scene were a doll line from 2002 made by Mattel. They look like the popular Barbie doll but with larger heads and have more similar fashion to Bratz, Mattel and Barbie's enemy/rival and have 3 movies (also is it just me or does the art style remind me of the show 6 teen?) Later through the years they had a decline and sadly they were discontinued. Do I think these dolls can come back? Difficult I feel like they could as long as the clothes are from good fabric and stylish and a part of me feels absolutely not. Mattel has had a really good kid friendly image with Barbie and I feel like a lot of parents would freak if they saw these doll. I didn't play with them as a kid actually I didn't even know about their existence AT ALL! But since I was really into Bratz I could totally have seen myself playing with these dolls as a kid i think their fashion is amazing and again I would love to see them make a comeback.

Numbah 4. Bratzillaz

I know this should be criminal to have Bratz under a Mattel doll I apologize but I wanted to save the best for last. So Bratzillaz are Bratz but they are witches with magical powers and were made to compete with Mattel's Monster High Dolls at the time. They were made in 2012 but later discontinued while Bratz were being rebuilt since a lot of parents didn't like the look of the Bratz. These dolls were meant to be the cousins of the Bratz and they also had a web show. I had quite a few of these dolls maybe one day I will make a post about the dolls I had idk it will probably be a mini post but these dolls were pretty cool. I loved how the legs, hands and arms could move and the fabric they used was pretty nice. Do I think they could make a comeback? Eh maybe one day but I think MGA should just focus on the Bratz when they can before these dolls.

Numbah 5. Yummi Land

Okay alright so I know this photo only shows one doll and that's because I had this doll. Her name is Mindy Mint Chocolate Chip and she smells like mint and like every Yummi Land doll they smell like what the character is named. This is yet another MGA doll line one I would absolutely love to come back why? Because I feel like they weren't around for a long time and I think they are absolutely lovely and different and I although I have said I didn't flock to many dolls that were different I feel like this is one I could see younger kids loving and I would totally buy them. These dolls were introduced in 2006 with a movie called Betsy Bubblegum' Journey through Yummi land. The doll lines included Soda pop girls, creme soda pop girls, candy pop girls, flower pop girls, ice cream pop girls, smoothie pop girls, sundae pop girls and a holiday special doll named Paris Peppermint Creme and another called birthday pop girls. I do not know how many of these dolls there are but just like Lalaloopsies they come in small and big. The doll I owned was a big one. What I loved about these dolls is that they came in bottles idk if anyone else gets interested by how things are packaged but for me I love it so these dolls coming in bottles were just really cool and if they ever made a comeback I hope they keep the bottle idea which now I will answer, do I think these dolls can come back? Yes. They are cute and I think a lot of people especially kids would love them because they smell nice and are just really pretty even the small ones could come back I think. I don't know how small those ones were but Barbie Peekaboos and Polly Pocket have been a thing therefore I think these dolls could make a return.

I grew up with a lot of dolls and I think some of them had really cool ideas and were different and I think that's cool. I really like how some of them were really girly and just cutesy and I think little girls would absolutely love Yummi Land dolls. I wish I had more growing up but I only had one although I remember another girl who was older than me as a kid getting one too I think she had blonde hair with all that said I will have the linkla below and I will see you next time

Yummi land info:

Lalaloopsy info:

Bratzillaz info:

Novi Stars info:

☆Thank you for reading this post if you like what you saw please give me a follow and a like I post about nostalgic stuff a lot☆

[notnctu]

to jisung, my family friend ♡

To All The J’s I’ve Loved Before Series by notnctu ♡ park jisung x fem!reader  ♡ genre - fluff ♡ wc - 2.2k ♡ warnings - none ♡ synopsis - in which you guide a lost freshman to his lecture ♡ taglist - @colpen ; @cestmoncoeur ; @hyucksberry ; @lexiluness ; @lovelycharm05 ; @dearlyminhyung ; @classic-antifood ; @pikijaemin​ ; @whorefortaeyong​ ; @jaeismytamtation​ ♡ a/n - let us know if you want to be on the taglist for the next ones!

Jisung,

I’m already laughing at myself writing this letter, but it has to be done. You’ve grown up so well, I think it has to be a good four years since I’ve seen you in person. I can’t tell whether or not you're a stranger to me.

Our moms are literal best friends and I think we could’ve formed the same relationship if they didn’t try to force that on us. I’m reminiscing about our many play dates we had together as I write this.

We were such awkward kids, I mean, you still kind of are. Word of advice as your upperclassman, don’t wear your freshman lanyard. It’s too much of a tell that you’re a freshie, not that you don’t already look like one being lost on campus or clumsiness bumping into people on your way to class.

Jisung, I can’t help but look at you differently. When did your shy smile light up the room? You really grew into your features, because I don’t remember you having such a sharp jawline. I questioned my thoughts for you as we laughed together even after all these years. Your personality was still the same, maybe more mature now? Like someone hurt you in the past. Like your eyes grew sadder.

But honestly, you’re the most innocence I’ve experienced being in college. You showed me a type of love that could develop beyond a kiss or devious acts. I thought I’d never come across that again.

It was like an epiphany, like my cheeks felt warm whenever you acknowledged me. Your silliness never sold itself short, I could laugh for hours with you. There were no consequential thoughts between the two of us, like a refreshing love that is so pure and full of warmth from sunshine.

There’s a lot for you to learn and experience. I won’t rob that from you, given that I’ve experienced plenty after all these years. But there is such a compelling feeling within me to shield you from any negativity, to guide you in being the best version of yourself. I want to help you find yourself and maybe, grow with you since we have been absent of that during our teenage years. Maybe this is what should’ve been of our relationship a while ago.

If I had tried to notice you sooner, we could’ve saved each other from all the pain.

-from your mom’s favorite, y/n

“Honey, do you remember Jisung? You two were best friends when you were younger?” The phone call with your mom had droned on for more than you had anticipated. It was one of her I need a favor calls that could not wait until later.

The loud chatter and background music of the store caused your lack of attention to what she had been going on about. “You mean, your best friend’s son who you tried to force me to be best friends with when I was younger? What about him? I haven’t seen him for almost four years now.”

The phone receiver buzzed before she continued hesitantly, “I gave him your number.”

The box of pasta fell from your hands at her sudden statement. The strangers around you watched as your anxious hands recovered it from the ground. “Why?” The annoyance in your cadence was nothing surprising.

“He got accepted to your college, sweetie! Isn’t that great? You can guide him around campus, help him transition to college life. No one is forcing you two to be friends anymore. But it would be an amazing favor for me and your auntie. You know, she has been saying how she wants to pitch in to buy you a new car.” Coercion. Rolling your eyes, you aggressively packed your groceries in your reusable bag.

“How could I ever say no to her when I’m her favorite person?” It was a double edge sword with your mom. She never really gave you many options to work with and expected you to follow through as her very obedient daughter.

“That’s what I like to hear!” After the strenuous call, messages from an unknown number sat patiently in your inbox.

(127)-127-1271: hi (Y/N)!! idk if you remember me, we haven’t talked in awhile but it’s jisung! I’m going to be attending ur school in fall and I was wondering if you can help me with some housing stuff????

you: hey bud, congrats! Yeah, you can ask me anything you need to know, everything is very confusing when you first start out :)

The least you could do was act friendly. Jisung never did anything wrong and if anything, you two were oftentimes in the same awkward boat during your childhoods.

Talking to him again reminded you of all the holiday barbecues spent at his house and running away from the adults to play games with his cousins. The many sleepovers where his mom made him sacrifice his bed for you and he’d end up sleeping on their blow up mattress. Fond memories that were definitely lost in your present. You no longer remember how this boy even looked like.  

Summer slipped from your fingers faster than you could blink. Another school year of newer experiences, yet without the aid of being a lost freshman. Everything fell back into a schedule as classes began. The floods of college students rushing to their next lecture. Students working in study rooms or at the outside commodities. The lost freshmen with their dangling lanyards who walk too slow and bumped into people.

There was one tall, shy boy that caught your eye. He wandered outside the building, checking the lecture hall number and scanning the enormous facility. The sheer panic in his expression when he looked down at his phone in his iron grip.

His features were clearly recognizable, but Jisung had grown incredibly older. His jawline was wider and he had several inches stacked above you. As you approached him, his infamous pout appeared as he rapidly scrolled on his dark screen. His cheeks weren’t entirely slimmed out.

“Jisung?”

Jisung was quick to see who could have possibly known his name at this new institution. He tilted his head when he finally laid his tired eyes on you. He knew there was no way he could have recognized you on his own. Not that you were absolutely different, but the whole aura that surrounded you embodied a college upperclassman. You were no longer the loud, weird middle school girl who wore her hair in wacky ponytails.

“(Y/N)! Wow, it’s been so long. I almost didn’t know who you were.” The deepness of his voice took you aback. His hand retreated to the back of his neck out of shyness. His high cheekbones marveled in the autumn afternoon. The boyish charm was very prominent, but his eyes seemed a bit lifeless, a bit sad. There was no gleam, loss of fairy dust that glimmered.

“I can recognize a lost freshman anywhere. Let me walk you to class.” You offered and his cheeks turned slightly pink from embarrassment.

A small side smile appeared when Jisung handed you his phone to see what building he was struggling to find. “I was trying to not be obvious, but the campus is so big. I really haven’t gotten used to where my classes are.”

A laugh escaped your lips when you gave the boy his phone. His wide eyes grew concerned, afraid you were mocking him. “It’s already the third week and I never noticed you were in my class. Let’s go, I’ll finally have someone to sit with.”

A sense of relief washed over his entire body as he followed your lead. The curious boy remained astonished as you two walked side by side on the large campus. He was barely taking in the massive structures, long roads, and the volume of people. His whole face lit up, with tiny sound effects whenever he was amazed by something.

“How could you ever get used to a place like this? I feel like there is so much to explore.” Jisung tried his best to match your strides to avoid losing you in the stream of hurried students.

“Yeah, it loses its luster after a few months.” Looking up, you noted the drop in his smile. Guilt filled your system at lowering his spirits. “But with the right experiences, you’ll fall in love with it more.”

Just like that, his rectangular smile rested well on his small face. “Thanks for answering all my texts over the summer.” His eyes averted to the ground as he held his backpack straps.

“I’m happy to help. C’mon, Jisung. We go way back, you’ve helped me escape many horrible adult encounters during your mom’s get togethers. The least I could do is return the favor.”

“Oh, we’re bringing up the past? Are you still afraid of the dark?” He raised a snarky eyebrow and you were surprised at the random attack.

You scoffed dramatically, and pretended to seem offended. “Says the one who had the night light in his room growing up.”

His hearty laugh surrounded the air around you two and you giggled lightly at how cutely he reacted. As his melody came to a descend, he analyzed your facial expression before saying, “talking to you is so natural, like we didn’t have a long pause on our barely developing friendship. I’ve been waiting to encounter a conversation like this since I got here.”

A strange, inexplicable feeling burned across your chest. Were those the butterflies that you felt so often around a boy you found the slightest potential? Long stares at Jisung’s profile had you admiring his strikingly handsome features. You shook off the unusual thought, “what about your roommate? You two haven’t hit it off yet?”

Jisung shrugged and looked around as if expecting his roommate to be wandering around him. He relaxed and stood by your side to wait for the lecture doors to open with leaving students. “Not exactly. Chenle’s a bit loud, a little weird too. He sleeps on silk pillows with his initials embroidered on them and has fancy cutlery.”

Laughter and more laughter filled the gaps with Jisung. It was the most refreshing feeling to be around, something you never knew you missed. Everyone was too busy being adults or experiencing wild, mature adventures. There was no room for innocence or child’s play. For a brief moment, you forgot about the stress of your future and wanted to bathe in the smiles that Jisung provided.

After the long boring lecture and a whole hour of Jisung performing pen tricks, he practically begged you to walk him to his next class. Given that your schedule was a bit more free today, with the spin of your heels, you were off giving him random tips about surviving his first year.

“Make sure you avoid walking to class through the center of campus on Wednesdays, unless you want to be harassed by clubs.” You cringed remembering the fateful encounter with your orientation leader from your first year, Jeno, that happened not too long ago. And how he still managed to flyer you after catching up.

Jisung did nothing, but nod aggressively to your advice to mentally note them all. He was overwhelmed, in a good way. However, knowing that he had you by his side, it made him feel all the more better. The realization that you two could actually be friends hit him like bricks. He wanted you to be guiding him, teaching him, bettering him.

“Hey homie!” A familiar, taunting voice called after you. You both perked up and watched as your best friend, Jungwoo, danced his way over to you.

You chuckled at your silly friend, “when did you ever call me homie?”

“When I noticed you standing next to a new friend and I don’t want to be too mean by calling you a loser.” Jungwoo’s happy smile bloomed as he stuck his hand out for Jisung to shake. “I’m Jungwoo, 2nd year Chemical Engineering major.”

Jisung stared at his hand, unsure how to even begin at introducing himself to other people. His only instinct was to throw scissors to Jungwoo’s extended palm, like he was playing a game of rock, paper, scissors. Jungwoo erupted with giggles and jumped at his hand being sandwiched between Jisung’s fingers. You, also, laughed at the awkward boy’s action.

“I like him.” Jungwoo patted Jisung’s stiff shoulder, causing Jisung to smile at his statement. “First year?”

“What gave it away?” You asked, eyeing Jisung with a matter of fact attitude.

“The lanyard dangling from his back pocket.” Jungwoo crossed his arms and joined you at your side. Jisung quickly stuffed the rest of his exposed lanyard into his pocket to refrain from being a first year stereotype.

The lecture doors opened with a bustling blast of people pouring out. You gave Jisung a warm touch on his arm, which he blushed unknowingly at. “Welcome to college, Jisung. We’re hanging out tomorrow because I said so.”

It was almost difficult for Jisung to stop smiling around you. He nodded and waved goodbye to both you and Jungwoo. A small thanks was all you heard before he disappeared inside.

Sighing, you and Jungwoo began heading towards any source of food. “Jisung, first year and undeclared major. He’s a family friend of mine.”

“He’s cute. You two look great together.” He winked. You pushed at Jungwoo’s arm playfully to rid any romantic thoughts. Though, it would be an absolute lie you weren’t already having some of your own. Maybe not entirely romantic, but more in a sense that you endearingly cared for him more than you had anticipated.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[a-libra-writes]

Steady - Stannis x Wife!Reader

Hi, no one asked for this shit but hERe I AM WITH IT. I swear we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled imagines and alphabets after this hahaha. Thanks for being patient while ive been recovering, i finally feel human again :p

Summary: idk its smut and domestic fluff and some backstory i just. This stuff gets away from me, yall. Takes place just a year or two after Robert was crowned.

Y/N finished her cold drink with a speed that was quite unladylike. She at least refrained from releasing a heavy breath as she set the goblet down. Her handmaiden gave her a look of understanding and a handkerchief to pat herself down.

“Shall I bring you another drink, my lady?”

Y/N wanted to say yes, but drinking this much honeyed ice-milk probably wasn’t great for her stomach. The sweetness was going to catch up to her. She patted her brow with the handkerchief and said, “Just water, if you please.”

The handmaiden bowed and exited the room. The woman’s face had only the slightest pink on her nose and cheeks, and she still looked cool in her simple clothes. She probably didn’t sweat until she walked at a brisk pace.

Y/N was the Lady of Dragonstone, sister-in-law to the king, and yet she felt far less elegant sweating like this in her parlor. She’d braided her hair and wrapped it high in a bun to give her neck some relief; coincidentally that was also the fashion in the South. The only jewels she could manage to wear were simple and light, and most of her Northern wardrobe was changed out for beautiful yet thin dresses of linen.

Her father would’ve balked at her wearing them, but he wasn’t the one withstanding this Southern summer. The ocean air coming from Blackwater Bay and these damned iced drinks were her only reprieve in the day.

At least in the evening, the air was blissfully cool and smelled of the ocean, although she had to be careful of the direction of the wind – she still wasn’t used to the more rancid smells of King’s Landing, and she likely wouldn’t ever be. She’d rather sweat to death in her own skin than invite that filth into her room.

She moved to the cushioned seat below a great window that overlooked Blackwater Bay, and as she opened the window, she saw the water peppered with all manner of boats, ships and sails. There was nothing like watching the sea and ships to help pass the time, and they were often her companions when she read or wrote.

She had brought her book and only read a few pages before she became distracted. One of the sails looked familiar, and it reminded her of one of the first nights she’d arrived and marveled at the bay, and the beautiful view right here in her chambers.

Y/N wondered how long she stayed sitting on the roomy windowsill, propped up by her pillows, watching them all. It must have been some time, because her newly wed husband approached her of his own accord.

“You’ll want to close that window before you sleep,” Stannis said. He had to lean down a little, as to not completely tower over her. “There’s all sorts of foulness in the air here.”

Y/N nodded, she’d already smelled it as she arrived. “I was just watching the sunset, and the ships. I love how the water sparkles under them.”

He said nothing, and Y/N had grown used to that in the short time they’d been married. She rather liked it, as she was not much of a talker herself. Too much of her childhood was her father forcing her into the circles of well-to-do ladies with eligible sons, and then in her maidenhood, being forced to talk to the sons themselves.

She had pointed out into the sea, toward a large vessel. “I’ve only seen that sort of ship twice. What is it?”

Stannis stepped closer, enough that she could pick up his body heat, and his tall body leaned over her to look out to the bay. “A Myrish trade ship, likely the property of a spice merchant. Do you see the scorpion on its sail? That’s common for Myrish ships. It’s either reptiles or insects, or coins. The thread embroided on that sail is gold, I’m sure of it.”

He grew up on Storm’s End, after all, watching the coast of Shipbreaker Bay, and his current seat was the island of Dragonstone. She wondered if Stannis Baratheon had ever been away from a coast for more than a few weeks.

Likewise, Y/N had never been away from her mountain home until she married. As horrid at the heat of the South was, she could tolerate it if it meant she stayed by the sea.

“I love it,” Y/N said, and meant it. She smiled at him like she smiled now, remembering the distinct color that rose to her husband’s cheeks that evening. It was strange how the court talked about him, how they had such distaste for what they considered a rigid and cold person. She hadn’t seen him that way.

True, he was always tense, but that’s because he was always thinking about far too much, far too often, concerning himself with this or that issue with the realm. It was his job as part of the small council, after all, but he seemed to carry a heavier burden than the others. Y/N wondered about that.

Lady Y/N was so lost in her thoughts, she forgot her handmaiden was returning with water. She thanked the girl and asked, “Would you happen to know when the small council meeting will finish?”

“Perhaps not for another hour, my lady.”

She had some time, then. Y/N returned to her book and leaned against the cool stone wall, glancing at the waves now and again. Again, she began to neglect the words on the page and let her mind wander.

From the beginning, Stannis was different. He traveled all the way to the North to formally ask permission for her hand. He wanted a proper courting period, but being the relative of the King and having a duty so far away, he had no such luxury – not that her father would dare split hairs about tradition when it came to a king’s brother.

Still, he took her hand in the foyer of that cold, frigid castle and apologized for not giving her a proper courtship, one a lady of her standing deserved.

At that moment, Y/N realized that she had never been apologized to. She was certainly never given one by a lord.

He was sincere, Y/N could tell. She could always remember the suitors who lied, who made empty promises to her father and emptier ones to her. Her father sniffed them out eventually, often too slow for her liking, and threw them into the cold. It wasn’t for her sake, not really - he wanted a powerful alliance with an older house, to give standing to their relatively newer name.

They had money and a beautiful daughter,  and what name was more deserving of both than the one that held the throne? Y/N should have been humiliated by his brazenness, but with Stannis, she could keep her dignity. All in all, Y/N could have done much worse.

She was never foolish to fancy what her marriage would be like; it wasn’t a luxury she allowed herself. Still, Y/N’s heart hurt at the thought of not marrying in a Godswood, as true Northern women ought to do. It was during this whirlwind courtship that Y/N asked, “My lord, is it true there’s a Godswood in the Red Keep?”

“There is, but it is no true Northern godswood,” Stannis said. “It is an acre of fine trees that are centuries old, but the heart tree is not a weirwood.”

He won’t lie to me. She thought. Not even to spare my feelings.

She always tried to keep her expressions even, to never betray her true emotion, but she must have shown something. Stannis added, “The ceremony will be in the Great Sept. It is a grand building, with seven towers. Many a bride would wish to marry there.”

“Many a Southern bride, perhaps.” Y/N said. She would be honest, too. “Still, I’ve heard much about the Great Sept’s beauty, and its seven towers and stained glass. Are they as grand as everyone says?”

“Yes.” Stannis responded curtly, and they stood in silence for some time. He suddenly continued. “The heartree at the Red Keep is not a proper weirdwood, true, but is a great oak. Tall as some towers, covered in old vines that try to curl into the wood. The gardeners have grown bright red flowers underneath, to honor the weirwoods in their way. It is not a proper Northern godswood, but it is a vast and well-kept wood in its own right. The ceremony can’t be there, but afterward, you can visit it anytime you like.”

He was trying to comfort her, Y/N had realized. He will try to spare my feelings then, in his own way. What a peculiar man.

When the day arrived, the Great Sept was indeed beautiful, unlike anything she’d ever seen. All seven towers glittering rainbows down in the sun, and inside, the beauty of the marble and statues of the Seven stole her breath. Even if they were not her gods, this was their place, and she felt their presence and humbled herself.

The stained glass shone bright across the marble floor, a motley of dancing colors, as though the gods were glad of their union. She ascended the tall steps in a dazzling gown of white silk and diamonds, Myrish lace and a train that followed long behind her. Stannis waited for her at the top, looking as still as the statues of the Sept, but she saw his eyes fill with softness as she took his hand and he helped her to the top step.

His fingers brushed her shoulders gently as he removed the cloak embroidered with her family’s sigil. With just as much gentleness, he wrapped her in a cloak of gold and black. His rough fingertips brushed her bare shoulders during the exchange, and it made her shiver a little.

The Great Septon spoke many elegant words, and Y/N was thankful she faced away from the crowd for most of the ceremony. She was positively sweating from the silk and warm Sept, but she kept her head high. She could feel a nervous energy radiating off Stannis, even without looking at him, although she stole some glances. He cut a good figure in his own groom’s clothes, although he stood as though he weren’t used to it.

A week after the ceremony, when she still struggled to adjust to her new living quarters and the Red Keep itself, Stannis suddenly asked her to accompany him. She took his arm and wondered with great curiosity where they were going. Then she understood.

It was an acre full of Northern trees, the godswood he had mentioned some time ago, and the great, stately oak was before her. It had more twisting, knotting branches than she could count. Two large men could hug the trunk and their fingers wouldn’t touch, and it was covered in a blanket of soft ivy vines, with a swath of red and white flowers growing under it. It was far more beautiful than he said.

Y/N couldn’t find her words, and she gazed at the heart tree until she heard Stannis ask, “Is it acceptable?”

As if either of them could change it if it wasn’t. This godswood had existed since the Red Keep had, after all. She spoke honestly. “It’s far lovelier than I could’ve thought. What an elegant heart tree.”

Stannis was pleased, she could tell. He didn’t tense up when she squeezed his arm and stood closer, or when she slightly pulled him down to kiss his cheek. “Thank you, my lord.”

“I did nothing deserving gratitude,” Stannis said, although he didn’t speak with his usual assuredness, and he glanced away from her.

He was terribly awkward with women, she knew, and even months later he was trying a very methodical way to approach their marriage. It was what he knew, and that comforted him in this strange, new territory. Y/N understood, but she liked to trip him up when she could.

In fact, she was quite fond of doing so. One could say Y/N was fond of him. It was a novel idea, being fond of one’s husband, looking forward to toying with him, and being quite amused when he tried to please her.

More than that, she liked seeing his cheeks or ears turn red when she thanked him for helping her, praised something he did or gave him sweet affections. It seemed he was unused to such things, and didn’t know how to respond to them – and Y/N wasn’t a woman of conceit, but she was confident her beauty only contributed to his reservations.

Recalling these fond memories and thoughts, Y/N decided she wanted to fluster her husband a little more, and she was growing frustrated that he wasn’t here. Finally, she heard doors opening in the parlor room, and the shuffling of a chair.

Being the brother of the king, and a member of the Small Council, Stannis was given fine dwellings inside of the vast Red Keep. The apartment was made of several rooms - a parlor for entertaining that often went unused, an office for Stannis that included a small library, a bathing area, a dressing room, their shared chambers, and so on.

Y/N noticed both she and Stannis preferred to hide away in their apartments when the court was becoming too much, as it often did in the Red Keep. She set aside her book and found him by the large table in the center of their parlor, mulling over papers and books that likely didn’t fit on the desk in his office. Had he carried all of these here? Y/N recognized a star chart, and a diagram of a galley.

First, she pushed aside several curtains to give the place more light. Then she walked toward the serving table, already stocked before Stannis arrived, and poured two goblets. She set one down next to Stannis, then she sat next to him on the settee. He didn’t look up.

Hearing a sound she didn’t like, Y/N scooted closer to her husband and gently took his hand in her chin.

“What–?” Stannis startled, nearly knocking a goblet off the table. Before he could speak, Y/N ran her finger along his jaw.

“You shouldn’t do that,” She said, speaking softly as not to disturb the peacefulness that had settled over the room. “Your jaw will ache by the evening.”

“I know,” Stannis said briskly, but he touched his jaw where her fingers were a moment ago, and there was color rising to his cheeks. He really didn’t seem to notice how often he ground his teeth, and Y/N noticed him wincing and rubbing his chin.

It was amusing that just a small touch like that, or their shoulders brushing together, or her adjusting his doublet in the morning or offering to unbutton it in the evening; all would stir the stern man to blushing silence. It’s not that he disliked her, Y/N was sure. He just wasn’t always sure on how to proceed, and besides, his mind was often occupied with work.

Even if she admired the work ethic, sometimes she worried about the toll it took on him. Y/N smoothed his shoulder, sorting out a wrinkle in his grey doublet. Stannis’ dark blue eyes darted straight to her hand.

“The council ran late today, didn’t it?” She said, using words to distract from her touches. “Perhaps you should take an early supper, and continue this work afterward. You could use the respite.”

Stannis responded how she expected. “It’s important that I get the fleet up to shape by the end of the year. Renly has been dodgy with the standards of quality, and Littlefinger still needs to find the coin for the sailors and shipbuilders.”

From what she understood and heard around the Keep, Stannis was often at odds with the small council, but especially his younger brother Renly. They were of a different generation, years apart in maturity and experience, not to mention how the King favored Renly’s more lackadaisical governing. Y/N understood being in the middle of strong personalities. She nodded, “Indeed, but you’ll find yourself in dire straits if you don’t nourish your body or rest your mind. I could have your dinner brought here.”

Stannis considered it. “You would be dining alone in the great hall.”

“Yes, I want to avoid that, so I’ll dine here as well.” The king’s courtiers could be far too rowdy, and gods forbid if Y/N had to spend another evening pretending to enjoy the queen’s cloying smalltalk.

Before Stannis could protest, Y/N added, “I won’t be in your way. I’ll eat here in the parlor, while you take the office, or whichever works. Perhaps I’ll watch the ships.“

Stannis still had a thoughtful expression, considering her words. Y/N took the opportunity to place a surprise kiss on his cheek. She could feel the taller man shift a little in surprise.

“You won’t hear a sound from me,” She said sweetly, her lips still ghosting next to his skin. She felt him shiver, too.

She knew what the courtiers and lords whispered about them. They had the nerve to pity her, as though she’d made a poor match.

“That will keep,” Stannis finally spoke, now looking pointedly at his papers and not her. "You don’t have to … stay in another room. We can supp together.”

Pleased with his answer and her progress, Y/N stood slowly, ensuring their bodies brushed together a little, and making sure he could see how her dress clung to her hips. “Then, I’ll leave you to this for now. I’m going for a walk.“

She left the parlor, hoping he was watching her go as the thin dress fluttered about her legs and swaying hips.

She was sitting upon the bay window and gazing out at the Blackwater again, as she did in the evenings, but it was exceptionally late. Stannis thought she had gone to sleep after they shared supper. Most of the candles in the chamber were extinguished, save for a few on a tall table beside the window. The flames danced sharply when the sea breeze came in.

“You’re still awake,” He said, speaking quietly as though their voices would waft out of the thick stone walls and wake someone. “Did you sleep?”

His lady wife was in a nightshift made of thin cotton, specifically the one that hugged her waist tightly and dipped to expose her chest. Those features, plus how it pooled at her feet even when she sat, made it seem a bit inconvenient. He’d say as much to her, but often he was distracted with how the fabric slid along her body.

She smiled at him, and it was comforting to see that at the end of a tiring day. He found himself looking forward to it more and more. He wouldn’t consider the Red Keep his home, nor was Dragonstone, but something about Y/N gave him that feeling.

“Oh, I woke up and thought I would wait for you.”

“You don’t have to do such a thing. You ought to sleep and keep away from the window,” Stannis said, but it came out much less stern than usual. Y/N noticed how his broad shoulders weren’t as stiff as they usually were, and when he removed his boots it seemed to take more effort than it should’ve.

Y/N glided off the windowsill, as graceful as a ghost, with her skirt flowing behind her. She promptly began removing the fasteners on his doublet. Stannis wanted to tell her it was unneeded, but his energy immediately went to stifling a yawn. It came out as a harsh breath, instead.

“You deserve to get some proper rest,” Y/N said, using that tone. Combined with the graceful fingers that had already opened the doublet and touching his chest, he shivered. He bent his knees so he could slide the doublet off his shoulders, and Y/N set it aside carelessly.

Her fingers pressed against his chest and nudged him in the direction she wanted. “It’s the dead of the night, dawn is only hours away, and you’re still up. You should look after your health, dear.”

Her sweet endearments and worry was completely at odds with how her lips kissed at his neck and her hand traced downward. He must’ve been more tired than he thought, because when she held his face in her hand his chest squeezed as though she held his lungs instead. Y/N kissed him and he leaned against the wall behind him, pulling her in closer.

He leaned into her touch, yearning for it, something he didn’t know he needed right now. Y/N broke their breathless kiss but quickly went back to kissing along his jaw, making his stomach flip with each one. When their lips met again, his hands squeezed her waist and the other ran down her hips. He could feel her warm, flushed skin perfectly through the thin nightgown, and didn’t want to admit how much he loved running his hands down it.

He may have been much stronger, but Stannis didn’t resist as Y/N lightly pushed him properly against the wall. She was lovely, soft and warm, and he was helpless when she was like this, running her hands up her chest and wanting him - he hoped it was want, even affection, anything other than duty and obligation driving her actions.

Stannis pulled her closer, grasping her hips, hearing her become breathless again. A moan caught in Y/N’s throat as his strong grip squeezed her, and his burning face pressed against her sweet-smelling neck. His feverish kisses were firm and made her squirm against him. “Y/N.”

“Come to bed,” She shuddered as he moved down to her collarbone. Her order was followed eagerly. Stannis easily gathered her in his arms, her nightgown slipping up her legs. She still planted kisses on his face and neck that made it difficult to navigate the dark to their bed.

Stannis tried to set her down easily, but her warmth and touches were distracting, never mind his own arousal. Before he could make sense of the darkness, Y/N was tugging on his shoulder to bring him into another kiss. He found her waist and pulled her close.

Y/N slipped her legs up his sides, her dress falling easily and his fingers made up for the chill that touched her skin. Stannis slid up the fabric until it pooled at her waist. In the candlelight, she could see how flushed he was, and his blue eyes had darkened enough to almost look like the bay.

“Not tired anymore, hm?” Y/N teased.

In spite of their current position and what they were just doing, Stannis felt himself flushing anew. Bluntly, he responded, “No, not at all.”

She giggled in a way that made him want to steal even more of her breath, so he did, kissing her neck and feeling her skin tremble under him. His other hand ran up the leg that was already hooked at his waist.

Stannis pressed himself against her, grunting at the friction. He was surprised at his own desire to stay here and not pull away, even if his damned trousers needed to be dealt with. He was bombarded with a myriad of lustful thoughts, especially as he touched Y/N’s thighs. Of all the thoughts, a distinct one kept surfacing: He wanted to lick them.

Maybe if he wasn’t sleep deprived and in a lust-addled haze, he’d be scandalized. It seemed like a perfectly normal thing to do right now, reasonable, even. Y/N had wonderful legs. They should be kissed and appreciated like the rest of her.

His thoughts were interrupted when she impatiently tugged at his arm. “Stannis, touch me. Please.”

It was then he realized the candles were fast going out, and it was mostly shadows in the room. He wanted to see her face so badly.

“Y/N, I ... I want to taste you,” He stumbled out in a mess of words, his breath coming short.

Y/N’s hips rolled up and grinded against his, making him groan and quickly pin her down in place. She always moaned from his rough tough, like now, and her legs nudged him. “Then do it,” She said, her impatience laced with lust.

With that consent, Stannis pushed her long nightshift aside so roughly, he thought he heard threads rip. He slid down and kissed her legs, relishing in how hot they were. He kissed her thighs, tasting their delicious warmth, and grabbed her calf as he pushed her open further.

“Ah, gods-!” Y/N gasped. She squirmed again, so Stannis gripped her legs harder, feeling how his fingers sunk into the soft skin. She was so beautiful. Stannis had seen pretty women, objectively beautiful ones, and heard how men lusted and admired after them. He’d never understood until now, and he was sure Y/N couldn’t compare to any of them. They must’ve not, if he hadn’t felt this way until now.

He kissed the inside of her thighs, feeling her quiver under his lips. She arched into him as he kissed just outside her smallclothes. She was soaked through; he could smell her warmth and even feel it. There was still anxiety in the back of his mind, the fear of doing something wrong, as he often seemed to do with women… Although he hadn’t ever thought of doing these things to them.

Stannis slipped off her smallclothes and let them hang around her ankle. The anxiety still climbed up his chest, and he wished he could see her, not just the shadows of her lovely body.

He ran his thumb over her clit, feeling how wet she was, hearing her instant reaction. Y/N’s thigh flexed under his other hand’s firm grip. “Ah! Stannis, please …”

Having his sweet wife beg under him was almost too much, so Stannis didn’t make her wait. His tongue ran up her cunt, pressing against her clit, tasting all of her wetness. Having her warmth around his cock was much different than this. If Stannis stopped to think about it, he might enjoy this more - but he couldn’t think anymore.

Y/N arched back sharply and raised her hips, so he had to hold her down again. He may have been more slight than Robert, but he still had a man’s strength, and Y/N whimpered as he used it.

Stannis took a heavy breath. He tasted her on his lips. “Am I hurting you?”

“N-no, you aren’t. Don’t stop, keep like that.” Y/N quivered. Her heart is beating quickly, but she knows his is probably thumping like a rabbit. Just to please her, her husband gave a tight squeeze to her hips with both his hands while his tongue lapped at her.

Y/N didn’t try to quiet her moans, and she said his name and praised him. Stannis’ hand slipped up from her hips to up her stomach, feeling her flushed skin. He wanted to focus on her pleasure, something to think about so he wouldn’t come undone so early.

Her fingers found his hand and she squeezed it before bringing it to her lips. She came as she kissed his fingers, her lewd voice filling up the room, and for once Stannis didn’t worry about anyone overhearing. The sensations of her warm breath, soft lips and wet core were taking away all his attention.

Y/N enjoyed the feeling of his strong fingers around her’s, still rough in spite of him being a lord. Coming down from her high, she playfully licked a few of his fingertips and said in a low, sweet voice, “Thank you, Stannis. It felt so good~”

“Y/N,” Stannis almost stuttered her name, and felt foolish for it, but he was buzzing while she was still coming down. He found himself pressing his body against her smaller one, his heart hurting and his cock aching at the same time. She reached for him, and he more than eagerly pulled her into his grasp.

She wanted him to be close, she wanted him. Stannis kissed her neck and when she ran her hands down his broad back, he almost buried his face in her shoulder to hide. It was too much, she was too much. He wanted to think straight, for just a moment, but he could still taste her juices on his lips and he wished it wasn’t over so quickly.

The stormlord felt fingers running through his dark hair, nails gently scratching along his scalp. The other hand traced up his back and made him shiver.

“Come here,” Y/N still had some breathlessness in her voice, but she was ready to keep going. Her desire hadn’t cooled off, if anything, it was stronger. “Stannis …”

With her sweet words, the strange feelings in his chest - panic? - kept swirling. Stannis remembered his own arousal, and moved his hips against Y/N’s, effectively pinning her underneath him. She sighed and wrapped those legs around him, bringing him closer.

“Please,” She said, and that was all it took for Stannis to set to awkwardly removing his trousers. They were a damned prison, and he was glad to be rid of them.

He grasped her hips again, his fingers pressing into bruises he already made earlier, but she still melted and moaned under him. An anxious thought tried to pull him away, telling him to be careful – but that became an afterthought as she spread her legs and he easily sunk himself in. If her skin was on fire, then her core was an entirely different heat that he wanted desperately.

Stannis bit at his lower lip harshly, knowing he wouldn’t last long. Y/N met his thrusts by rolling her hips, digging her nails in his arm and gasping words he lost track of. He heard his name several times, and when he picked up his pace, she stumbled over it in the most wonderful way.

For a few minutes, the sound of their bodies and breathes was the only noise, until Y/N cried out and her moans faded into whimpers. Stannis felt her squeeze around his cock, and for the dozenth time he wished for light so he could see her wetness drip around him. He wanted to clean her with his mouth, he thought instantly.

The image of her core dripping from their union and his tongue back inside it was enough to make the Baratheon shudder and groan her name. Stannis thrusted harshly and came shortly after that.

He had to catch himself on the bed, the fatigue of the day and their actions catching up at once. Y/N’s hands idly wandered up his arm, then held his face, and the darkness bothered him again. The candles had long been out. Y/N tried to kiss him, but she missed and got his nose.

Stannis flinched and Y/N giggled. Her fingers slowly felt for his lips. “Sorry, let me try again.”

Her legs were wrapped around his waist, he was still inside her, and Stannis felt a bit lost. He lowered himself, very careful not to rest too much weight on her, and let her pull him into a long kiss.

What was he supposed to say? What were the words for the thoughts that came racing back, like they always did after he and Y/N were together? He didn’t want to leave her warmth, but it was late, and his body felt heavy.

They eventually untangled themselves, and Stannis found a cloth to clean Y/N’s legs. He was willing to leave to get their nightclothes, but Y/N pulled him back and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Are you thinking?” She asked.

“Yes.” It was a strange question, but he answered simply. His tired mind was rattling off all sorts of nonsense, of the council and his duties and Y/N and their marriage.

“Try to sleep first,” Y/N said, knowing saying that was usually futile, but she knew he was exhausted. “Let’s discuss it in the morning, hm?”

Stannis didn’t want to leave his wife’s embrace, but he’d be damned if he’d fall asleep by her whilst lacking an undignified amount of clothes. After adjusting some blankets and finding some clothes, they were back to Y/N resting her head on his chest.

“Do you want your nightshift?” Stannis asked, trying to be casual about the bare body pressed against him.

Y/N hummed. “Hmm, no.”

He tucked the blanket around her anyhow. Being from the North, she claimed the night’s humidity and heat was enough, but Stannis was still convinced she’d get a chill. She eventually moved off his chest, but still stayed close, her breathing starting to even out as she fell asleep.

Tired as he was, Stannis still couldn’t rest until after her. When she was close like this, it gave him hope that she cared. Fulfilling the expecting duty of a wife didn’t have to include being as close and comfortable as a cat, but here she was. In the morning, if he accidentally woke her up as he got ready, he knew there’d be a sleepy smile for him.

Stannis frowned but fought the urge to start grinding his teeth. Intead, he pressed his cheeks against his wife’s soft hair and took in the smells of her soap and perfumes. His breath crossed her forehead, and Stannis’ last thought was wondering if it troubled her.

"I understand there are congratulations in order,” Sabitha said, getting straight to the point, as she often did. As they pulled away from a strong hug, she wasted no time in looking pointedly at Y/N’s abdomen. “That dour stag got a fawn on you. What a fine thing.”

Y/N shook her head at her old friend’s words. So direct and a bit unladylike, as always. It was good to see her again. They grew up together, their fathers and Houses being close, but then Sabitha had been married off and sent all the way to the Reach. The day she left, it was like losing a sister. Y/N was so sure they’d never see each other again.

Now, given her position, Y/N could arrange visits, especially with Sabitha’s husband being involved with trade in King’s Landing. She and Y/N planned to take in the sights and enjoy the court feasts, but more importantly, they had lots to catch up on. It had been almost three years since they last saw each other.

Their laughter echoed softly through the winding garden, and soon the two ladies arrived at the private docks that led to the back of the Red Keep. Ships rarely came here directly, but one could get a clear view of which galleys were coming into the main ports of King’s Landing.

The sea wind blew their hair and dresses where it pleased, and they ducked under rows of orange trees to get a break from it. A bench was waiting for them, and Y/N found herself absently touching her stomach as she tidied her white linen dress.

“You’re hardly showing,” Sabitha commented. She was quick to retrieve a ripe orange from one of the trees. “I can’t imagine you’ve had to let any dresses out yet.”

“Wrong on both counts, Sab. See?” Well, she wasn’t showing as much as some would expect, but Y/N definitely experienced the annoyance of digging through her closet for something to fit, then giving up and just having the royal seamstresses do their magic. She imagined she’d have to call on them several times.

"Enjoy that, and how you look now, because soon you’ll be waddling about and looking like someone strapped pillows over your stomach and tits.” Sabitha finished peeling her orange and happily bit into it.

Y/N rolled her eyes and took a few oranges from the trees for herself. After some idle back and forth, Sabitha leaned against her friend and said with a mouthful of fruit, “So, tell me the truth of it, esteemed Lady Y/N of Dragonstone.”

Y/N made a face at the mess Sabitha was making, and retrieved a handkerchief to dab at her friend’s chin. “What do you mean, most dearest Lady Sabitha?”

“Don’t be coy. Your lord husband, the king’s brother. I’ve heard things about him, but none of it interested me until now. Tell me all about it.”

"About what, exactly?”

Sabitha sighed with impatience. "Your marriage bed, obviously. That’s his fawn, now tell me how he got it on you - details, please.”

"Sabitha!” Y/N blushed, but her grin matched her friend’s. Sabitha was trying to keep a straight face, like they were discussing a dull ball, but her own facade was cracking. She didn’t blame her friend, she knew the castle was whispering about it, people she’d never met congratulating her and courtiers staring pointedly at her abdomen. Some days she just stayed in the apartments.

A pregnant lady was nothing special, not normally. The problem is the Queen wasn’t with child yet, and Stannis was, well … Stannis. His cold reputation, combined with his brother’s known affairs and the Queen’s harsh temperament made for a volley of unsavory rumors that Y/N was constantly dodging.

Thank the gods Sabitha was here to distract her. Y/N didn’t tell her friend that she’d made excuses and avoided the court for the past week. She was strong, but the North was never like this, and while Stannis would grind his teeth and harshly rebuke any rumors, sometimes it was just easier for Y/N to get away from it all.

“I mean it. He’s tall, so he’s proportionate, hm? Not too bad in the shoulders, I suppose, and if he’d just smile once in a blue moon. Anyway, how do you talk him into it?”

“Sabitha, I’m not – oh no, I’m not entertaining this.” Y/N sputtered, and gave a light shove to her friend’s shoulder.

“You were always cold with men! I’m curious!”

“That’s because Father entertained some of the most foolish men I’ve ever met, if you could even call them that. I’ll have you know, Stannis takes very good care of me, and I’m fond of him.” It was a little embarrassing to admit such a thing, but it was the truth, and Y/N felt the warm affection come over her all over again. “He works hard for the realm, and for my comfort.”

Sabitha made an undignified little snort. She was halfway through another orange. “Oh, I see.”

Y/N blushed. “What.”

“Well, well, I suppose this summer air can melt anyone, hm? This is high praise, coming from the girl who’d step all over the Manderly boy’s feet to keep him from dancing with her, and made a Glover cry -”

“I didn’t! Well, so I did, but he shouldn’t have been so brazen!”

Sabitha laughed. “He kissed your cheek! You and Lord Stannis are perfect for each other. A glacier meeting an iceberg, both melting from a lustful summer heat - Ow!”

Sabitha cried out with surprise as an orange pelted her shoulder, then another at her chest, and she was quick enough to hop off the bench and run to avoid the third. She ended up falling over and giggling madly as she hid behind the trees.

“Y/N! Just because it’s summer – that doesn’t mean you can waste perfectly good fruit!”

“You’re lucky I don’t have tomatoes!” Y/N managed to pelt Sabitha one more time, and the lady squeaked with laughter. Anyone watching them would think they’d gone mad, or were two silly girls playing, not two married ladies.

“Please, my sweet lady, forgive me,” Sabitha cooed, finding her way back to Y/N and giving her a hug.

“Hugs won’t let you get away with everything,” Y/N said, even if she was already returning the gesture. She missed her friend and her family’s Northern keep, even her silly father and busybody mother. She sighed, leaning into the embrace and not liking the idea of Sabitha going home.

She felt her friend patting her hair, like she always did. “You can’t let the court control you and frighten you into hiding, not even the Queen.”

“Stannis thinks I should go to Dragonstone.” Y/N said. She hadn’t told Sabitha this yet. She’d never seen the gloomy fortress herself, but she’d heard tales of it, and read the books. She’d seen Stannis’ face and demeanor turn dark when he talked about it. Still, it was a reprieve …

“You shouldn’t,” Sabitha said, a little too quickly. She corrected herself. “I mean, I’ve heard the rumors. Some of them are … not pleasant. I think it would make you look guilty.”

“I am the Lady of Dragonstone, technically it’s my place, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but you and your husband have been doting and cooing - oh, don’t give me that face, as much as Stannis can - and for you to suddenly be sent away? It doesn’t look good, Y/N.”

Y/N sighed heavily. The weariness was catching up to her now. She felt like she had to expend more and more energy to do the things she always did, and Y/N wasn’t sure if that was because of the baby or all this sudden attention and intrigue that was being paid to her.

“You have a point.” She conceded. “I don’t want to go. I just … gods, no one really cared before. Now the Queen glares at me with those green eyes and anytime she talks to me, it’s like the whole room is staring.”

Sabitha nodded, and the two women sat together on the bench again, stray oranges around them. The sky and sea were still glittering brightly, but the mood around them had darkened. Sabitha tried to bring up a light subject. “Have you both considered a name?”

Wanting to change the subject too, Y/N said, “Stannis seems content to let me name the child, even if it’s a son.”

“How surprising. I’d think a man like that would have some sort of stuffy family name pocketed away, or worse, he’d go the boring route and name the child after the king.”

Y/N almost choked on a laugh. “Oh, Stannis would never.”

“And thank the gods, one is enough. Can you imagine a Roberta? Though my bet is on a boy with the look of his father.”

“You think so?”

“Well, I’d prefer a pretty girl or boy with your sweet face. Oh, that reminds me. Do you remember that knight who fought in the melee at Winterfell, it was some years back, let me think …”

While Sabitha told a long story, Y/N’s thoughts were still distanced. The worry of the court had been pressing on her so much, she hadn’t even thought about what the child might look like or be like. She thought of a steady boy with Stannis’ temperament and those clear blue eyes. Or maybe she’d have a pretty girl, one who looked like her, but with long black hair.

They were funny and strange thoughts, ones that gave her an odd mix of excitement, anticipation and a little anxiety. Had Stannis thought about it too? She wanted to ask him. Maybe he didn’t entertain such things, but she wanted to know.

She smiled, already thinking of what blunt answer he may give, or perhaps his eyes would soften, and he’d tell her something new. Something she didn’t know about him. In the safety of their shared chambers, he’d talk about Storm’s End, the good and the bad memories.

The Others can take the Queen and her tittering ladies. Y/N thought with resolve. I won’t hide anymore. I’ll smile now, and I’ll smile when I hold our child in my arms.