#theladwhoisweird

[theladwhoisweird]

the poetical urge to own a classic typewriter without actually using it but because it's "essential" for your dark academia experience.

[theladwhoisweird]

I'm in the wind, You're in the water.

Nobody's son, Somebody's daughter

[theladwhoisweird]

See You Next Valentine's (Sonnet VI)

Another Valentine's Day that you're not with me

You're happy with someone else then so do I

I'm wishing loudly in silence, "That should be us, be we!"

You both look pretty together and it hurts, I won't lie

I'm might be hopeless romantic though I'm bitter

You're everything in this town and I'm literally no one

Then there he is, I'm losing it cause he's better

He's instantly there when you wanted to be saved by someone

He's the perfect valentine and the perfect lover

The lord who can buy you a houseful of flowers

I'm the perfect broke debacle, the perfect loser

The peasant who forgot a couple thousand showers

Happy Valentine's Day still, my darling, I'll see you

I'll see you when it's already free to see you

[theladwhoisweird]

Pov: You Searched Theladwhoisweird Aesthetic On Pinterest...

It's hard to rummage down your gallery to look for Pinterest worthy photos when phone's camera quality isn't Pinterest worthy while your life isn't pinterest worthy as well... ☀️🌇🌻🌄🌉🪶✏️📖📜📚💌☕🎧📒🌈🍋🪩🖍️🖼️🎬🎭🎥

[theladwhoisweird]

"And Soon My Life Begin"

When would it start, the need I long For a generation or so that I'm lacking The current of time is billowing strong So strong that you found me here panicking

When would my heart beat and my blood run This mortal shell is just as good as a stone I died when I was born, I was never some one No trace of hair to be seen neither a bone

When would it happen, the embarkment The embarkment of something worth the wallow Craving for the long overdue excitement Wanting to be something best, not fallow

When would my delayed soul arrived The essence of one's survival throughout the course So I can finally call myself alive So I can finally go through without remorse

When would the laughs show before it turned to grieve Would I be gone ere I go the distance A man should fear never beginning to live Good old Marcus Aurelius said those words once

When would my own fulsome time appear Could I possibly start a life at twenty one Isn't it too old, too late and too doom, I fear It should be settled before we could say it's done

When would the listless clock's hands tick Time would pass anyway but I still remains lifeless Waiting for nothing after nothing until grow sick Waltzing with impatience, turn hopeful or stay hopeless

When would I came before I actually departed Everyone is a passerby in this universe of all goodness We couldn't end something that's yet to be started It's impossible to destruct the void and nothingness

When? I'm always asking. When? I'm dying to know I'll try harder to continue merely existing with no actual win To the hundreds of self-doubts and self-ends, I would just say "No" I'm sure my fate is there and soon my life begin

[theladwhoisweird]

"Threshold to a New Chapter"

Everyone's on their path with firm finality

And are already striving for the promising tomorrow.

When would it knock, my own golden opportunity,

That would unclosed the portal so I could go?

Falling in despair but wanting to rise in desperation.

I need that insurmountable strength to rout diffidence.

Learn some fate-stirring things then move or end up to life's expiration,

Hoping experience could wean me enough out of dependence.

Hankering for lucent ingress to flee out of the pallid trap.

Fly, shine and face the society to augment this small-town life.

In this run of adversity, I'm sprinting from each mishap

I would rest but I won't balk instead I'd rev up the strife.

Is my destiny still amorphous and I'm the one who'd write it along the course?

Who or what would found me and how?

When would I be brought to the next stage?

Vestibules to fresh starts, chances to unlock thousands of doors,

Continue the pursuit a robust verve to begin another page.

[theladwhoisweird]

"Yellow Person"

The sun in the shape of a human being

As sweet as honey and as bubbly as bees

Appreciates every sightly scene they're seeing

The flowers in the meadows, the canopies of the trees

Jolly in every way and are immensely amiable

Thoughtful creatures and careful to one's heart

Most of them are extroverted while some ain't that sociable

Can be artsies or literary geeks that always love art

Sunrise in their eyes, sunset in their souls

They're the rays that glint in every manner

Comedy on the run, now, let the fun rolls

No contest but each of them is always the winner

.

Have soft spots for almost everything they touch

Fluffy-hearted and loyal and benign and affable

Caring to little things with softness, tenderness and such

The warm wafting scent of homemade goodness on the table

Sunflower as people, shoes instead of pots

Giants or dwarves, in the garden they're all blooming

Like brightly colored comfortable blankies with cute tiny dots

Drying under the sun, the vibrance aglowing

If they're wizards, they belong to the house of the badger

Cozy rooms, herbs, lumos solem and the smell of the kitchen

You would fall in the secured hand of a safe stranger

If you already knew one, you're sure they're a one call away friend

Exudes optimistic energies to each of those who surrounds

Flashing contagious smiles, field-wide, calmly ardent

Stimulating golden radiance in the stint air that bounce

Humble mortal that could embrace so homely, so benevolent

Living in xanthophilia, loving a hue of delight

The light lambenting from them are for ever mellow

Kindness is what that matters to be on the side of daylight

Pleasant things are here cause the color is yellow

[theladwhoisweird]

"Year Since Started"

For it's July again. One outset something that helps pass the hours. It was a year ago. Took the courage though it isn't that risk. Should that be counted as a step to something still ambivalence of? It was exactly on a late brother's ninth birthday.

It was on purpose. Grey and solemn like the lyrical goddess with her elegy and trilogy. The sound was from a country who once colonized mine saying to find the way.In there, it's telling a tale about a pathway and destinations and tomorrows. 'Twas crafted at the January of the same year a month after a tragedy.

Two decades yet never moseyed on this stage, they're portraying as a rock. Can't be one's self own playwright either, no creative control. On wood and lead, it's trying to improvise but heedful not to fall off script. On bound papers, it's struggling and staring 'til a thought merge from nowhere.

A year since started of an act mediocrely do but love. Between those two dates, bounty of wake teardrops, a long season of dementors. Though surprisingly, gained and still gaining wits from literary creations. Already pinned countable papers and would pin further through and through.

[theladwhoisweird]

Few nights ago, you were in my dream, I almost forgot to tell.

I carry you in my arms and out of the water. What does that means? More important question is, "Why are you there?"; knowing that we never met in flesh.

[theladwhoisweird]

I Just Want To Be Free...

I just need to be free. To be free and to breathe and to be in my own space.To be not worrying about someone stepping on me while sleeping or dad who have the temper of a volcano would possibly beat me for real or even mom would yell at me to the lamest thing.I just need to be free. To be free and to move around without hesitation and to be left staring at the ceiling unperturbed.To be alone and to be in my solitude or to let my messy things lying around without being rearrange by others or even walking on the floor clothless and bare.I just need to be free. To be free and to be able to lax my restless body and to be seated and to be secured in my own bed.To be at peace or to be in tranquility or to be in a quiet golden place far away from any disturbances.I just need to be free and to be free or to be free.

[theladwhoisweird]

Someone asked "if you could name this chapter of your life, what would it be?"

Mine:

"Chapter 20, Act. No. XX: Thought This Time is the Start of a Life but It's Just Another Run of Suffering"

[theladwhoisweird]

"Mom, I'll Just Keep Myself Alive"

Mom doesn't like the image of me dead yet she keeps on doing things that make me feel not to be alive. She didn't want me to be in danger but she didn't realize it's on her? She should be a home cause she proffers one. a healthy environment. a habitat where I should grow. But no... I want to flee to somewhere safe.

- theladwhoisweird