#then I felt bad bc my mom liked the perfect picture fakeness

[allofuswantgwinam]

it’s funny to me that I only know Billy Joel songs based off the ones my dad sings 🤣🤣 he’s singing one rn on the Grammys *billy Joel, I wish my dad 🤣🤣💀* and it’s makin me miss when i was 5 years old and my parents were together and things were normal

[celestialrry]

gold rush

3.3k

summary: Enemies to lovers, inspired by the lovely Taylor Swift’s Gold Rush!

warnings: mention of alcohol consumption, reader and Harry being bitches, angst, and a good ending bc I can't seem to leave anything on a bad note

If someone asked you to list off everything you hated about Harry Styles, you were positive that you would be talking for a solid 10 minutes.  He was the epitome of everything you despised. To be more specific, you despised people who acted “deep”, people who acted humble, people who pretended to be different from the general population, people who acted like they didn’t know millions would drop to their knees with a simple wave or smile, and people who acted perfect. And as far as you knew, that was everything that Harry Styles was. 

A famous rockstar and millionaire who comes back to his hometown, which happens to be yours as well, and acts like he wasn’t any different. He pretends to blush when someone would compliment him and ask for a picture, like he hasn't been asked for pictures millions of times before. He waves his black amex card around and buys one fucking coffee with it. You hated him, because everyone loved him.

And of course with your luck, a few years ago when your mom had met his mom at a neighborhood get together, they became best friends, and had made Christmas Eve dinner a tradition between your family and his. That’s where you met him, and that's when your hatred began. You knew who he was and had been a big fan of One Direction (Harry was even your favorite), but after you had had a conversation with him? Let’s say your excitement was diminished. 

So here you were, driving through the snow in your rental car to your mom’s house a week before Christmas. Your playlist had changed songs and before you knew it you heard the familiar guitar strums. You couldn't bring yourself to change it, in all honesty you loved Harry’s first album, and most recent album Fine Line. Even though it came out 5 days ago you had it on repeat. As much as you hated Harry Styles, you would always love his music.

After you had arrived at the house you grew up in, said hi to your family and got settled, all you wanted was some coffee. You said your goodbyes and promised to be home soon, and drove through town to the coffeeshop, bundling into your sweater, jacket, and scarf before stepping out into the snow and making your way inside. 

The bell rung as you swung open the door and almost immediately you spotted a familiar face, partially covered by a beanie and a scarf. Wonderful, you thought to yourself. You made your way to the counter and ordered a hot coffee and a scone before sitting down at one of the tables on the opposite side of the cafe. Anything to avoid him. 

You heard your name phrased like a question and looked up, your eyes following from the Chelsea boots on the tile, to the trousers, then jacket covered sweater, scarf, then his face. Your chest clenched in frustration. “Harry.” You nodded back, making it obvious you wanted nothing to do with him.

He definitely did not get the hint because almost immediately the seat in front of you was taken over by his presence. “I didn’t think the Grinch would be n’town so early.”

Your cheeks burned and you quickly shot back. “And I thought Scrooge was dead by now but I guess I was wrong,” You rolled your eyes. “Also, are you sure I’m the one out of both of us who’s the Grinch, look at your sweater.” You added, eyes trailing down to his light green hairy sweater. 

“If we’re basin’ it off looks then yes m’sure you would be the Grinch.” Harry retorted, scoffing. 

“Wow Harold! You are just absolutely hilarious, are you sure you went into the right industry?” You raised your brows and gave a fake smile, knowing he could see right through it. Before he could answer, a waitress had brought over your coffee and scone, setting it down on the table. 

She looked up at you reciting your order and giving you a smile before she did a double take at the man sitting in front of you. Oh god. “I’m so sorry, but are you Harry Styles?” the girl asked, eyes practically turning into hearts before you. 

“Yes, I am, and y’name is?” He asked cheekily, extending a hand for her to shake. She looked like she was about to die as she gently grabbed his hand and shook it, reciting her name like she had attempted to memorize it the night before.

“Well, it’s very nice t’meet you, would y’like a picture?” He asked and you swore you couldn’t roll your eyes back further into your head. 

“Oh! Um,” her eyes darted over to you as you sat back in your seat, sipping your coffee. “I wouldn’t want to interrupt anything...” She trailed off as if she was asking for your permission.

You wanted to say she already had anyways, but there was no reason for you to be upset at this girl. You would act like her too if you didn't know who Harry actually was. “Don’t worry, you aren’t.” You smiled at her, genuinely. Maybe she would drag Harry away long enough so you could eat your food and drink your coffee and scram.

She let out a breath it seemed she’d been holding and pulls out her phone. You purse your lips and sigh before offering to take a photo for them. She thanks you about a billion times while Harry stands up from his seat and wraps his arm gently around her shoulders. You stand up as well to get a few decent photos of the two of them smiling and hand the phone back to her. She tells Harry she’s been a fan for years and loves him as well as his music and message and he thanks her for supporting him. That’s the one think you like about Harry, how he truly is grateful for his fans. Everything else sucked. After they get done speaking she noticed your coffee and scone are done. 

“God, I’m so sorry, would you guys like any refills or more pastries? It’s on the house.” She smiles, patting down her apron. 

You look over at Harry who had sat down again and look back at the sweet girl in front of you. “No thank you.” She nods while Harry repeats your words and head back behind the counter. 

“That was nice of you, back there. Thought the Grinch was too mean t’take photos for people.” He chuckled at you. 

“If this is your way of thanking me, you aren't doing a very good job Harold.” You said sharply, pulling your coat off the back of the chair. 

“It wasn’t m’way of thanking’ you. Y’need to be brought off y’high horse once in a while.” He shrugged like he wasn't just blatantly rude to you. Sure you both had a witty banter but it always seemed Harry took it too far, and well, that's one of the reasons you hate him. 

“Maybe apply that to yourself once in a while.” You huffed, shrugging your jacket on and pulling your scarf back on as well. 

He ignored your words and raised a brow. “Leavin’ already?”  

“Yeah actually, I came here to relax but that's not working out so well.” You gestured between the two of you. You were going to leave it like that but as you stood up you could see the girl behind the counter waving for you to come over. Brows furrowed in confusion you headed over to her. 

“I just wanted to say thank you so much for taking photos for us, and Harry looks really happy with you so, thank you for making him happy.” She said quietly so only you could hear. Your eyes widened and you opened your mouth, about to tell her there was no way in hell you’d ever date Harry but the way she looked at you with adoration caused you to smile and simply say, “Thank you.” Before bidding her a good day. 

You dug through your bag as you went to go to the door to leave, looking for your car keys when a body appeared in front of you. You stopped immediately, looking to see that fucking grin and a hand holding your keys. “Lookin’ for these?” He teased, waving them in front. You reached out to grab them and he only pulled them away and you quickly realized how this would go.

“Harry, give me my keys.”

“Magic word?” He asked turning his ear towards you. Instead you blew air in it and grabbed your keys when he was distracted, brushing past him to open the door into the freezing air. The sparks you felt as you passed him was definitely because you were cold, right?

**

Soon it was Christmas Eve and you don't think you’ve ever been dreading an evening more, other than the past few years on this exact day. It was snowing when you and your mom arrived at the Styles household. You knocked on the door loud so you both could be let in as soon as possible. 

“Sweetie, I don't think knocking that hard is really welcoming.” 

You pursed your lips and turned around to your mom, knowing this was just how she was and you bit back a snarky comment simply replying, “I’m just really cold.” 

After those words left your mouth the door opened behind you and you turned around, face to face with the curly headed man-child. He nodded at you, saying your name before calling out to your mom. She smiled and gave him a quick hug before he ushered her in the house, forgetting about you outside. Already a wonderful start to the evening, you thought, sighing as you walked inside onto the wooden floors.

You heard laughs and exclamations in the dining room, and you made your way there, knowing this house a little too well. Anne called out your name as she saw you step in, rushing forward to give you a kiss on the cheek and a hug. “It’s so nice t’see you, love. You get more gorgeous every year.” You but your lip and smiled at her, “And you get younger each year.” You softly said as she laughed and led you over to Gemma. 

“Hi Gems,” You grinned, giving her a hug. She returned it, just as happy to see you. Out of the Styles siblings, she was your favorite, obviously, but the two of you had actually become friends, not just family-friends. “Hey, love. Long time no see.” You laughed as you both pulled away. “Too long.”

Your mom had brought over some pie so she sat it down on the dining table where the rest of the food was. “Well loves, let all sit down!” Anne said, taking her seat at the head of the table. You opted to sit in the chair in front of you, while your mom sat to the right of Anne, so she was diagonally across from you.  Gemma then took the seat across from you, next to your mom. Oh no. The only seat Harry could sit in would be the one next to you. 

He looked around the table and bit his lip as if that would help the situation but he ended up sighing just loud enough for you to hear it as he plopped into the seat next to you. His hair moved with him, falling perfectly into place on his head. Of course his hair would be perfect like he apparently is. 

Everyone quickly jumped into conversations about everyone’s life, and what they’ve been doing, focusing on Gemma for the most part as you all dug in to the food. The conversation then led to Harry’s career and life at the moment. 

You zoned in after deciding not to pay attention after he started talking to hear him say, “I don’t think m’different, I just have a different job y’know?” 

You scoffed out of reflex and all eyes at the table turned to you. “Yeah, a different job that makes you known to millions of people around the world, that in itself changes a person.” You pointed out, taking a sip of your water afterwards. 

Your mom hissed your name scoldingly. “That was unnecessary.” she finished, her eyes glaring at you. 

Your eyes grew wide as you realized you forgot you were in front of your family, and the rest of Harry’s family. 

“It’s okay, Miss.” Harry spoke up with your mom’s name, looking at her for a moment with a smile before turning to face you. “We can have different opinions but y’don't really know me all that well d’you?” His captivating eyes locked onto yours and you suddenly felt small in front of him. Before you could respond Anne exclaimed, “Time for dessert, yeah?” 

As everyone went to put their plates in the sink, you trailed behind feeling unusually guilty, not how you normally felt after similar conversations with Harry.  Everyone else had picked up conversation again as they made their way back to the table, but you kept your mouth shut the whole time, only mumbling a thank you to Anne who served you your pie. Luckily no one seemed to notice you had decided to no longer talk, it would only make things worse, you believed. Except Harry.

He was talking the whole night, trying to ignore that comment you made, because well, he knew that you were only judging him on the surface level. It was strange to him though, that the assumptions hurt more coming from you than the hundreds of people who made the same ones at him everyday. He wished he could say he expected more from you, but the two of you had been at odds since the first day you met. He had absolutely no idea why you had been so nice, then 15 minutes later you weren't laughing at his jokes and rolling your eyes. he had become so fed up with it, it was safe to say he hated you. He enjoyed teasing you and pushing your buttons, but the true frustration he felt for you never went away after all these years of sarcastic comments and stolen glares.

So why was his chest clenching as he looked over at you to see you silently eating your pie and looking down at the table cover? Harry was sure that he had never seen you so resigned before, usually you had all the things in the world to say. 

He worked up the courage to softly knock his fabric covered knee against yours. You looked up at the contact, head turning slightly to look at him, but he was faced to his mom, immersed in whatever conversation they were having. An accident it seemed, that he touched you. It was the most contact the two of you have had since you met him, and only then did you shake his hand. 

Soon enough everyone finished their pie and you quickly stood up and offered to take them to the sink while they headed to the living room to have a glass of wine and play some games. As you walked past Gemma she gently grabbed your arm and you stopped, looking at her. “Are you okay?” She asked, her face etched with concern. 

“I’m fine Gems, maybe ate too much.” You laughed it off and she took your answer hesitantly before heading to the living room. You reached the kitchen and set the plates and forks in the sink, pulling up your sweater sleeves and tucking back your hair as you started the faucet. You heard the beginning of some Christmas music and knew there was no chance anyone would come back to check on you with Andy William’s voice serenading them with lyrics of “the most wonderful time of the year”. Bullshit, you thought.

You began to wash the plates with a sponge that was on the edge of the sink, and immersed yourself in the soapy water, placing plates to dry on the rack, and returning to wash the next. 

“Y’don't need t’be doing those.” 

You practically jumped out of your skin when you hear this voice. You lowered the water flow and turned to look at him approaching you on your left. “I know.” Was all you said, as you continued to wash the second to last dish. 

His eyes widened at your response. He was ready to hear, “It’s called being polite, Harold. Maybe you should try it sometime.” Or a snarky comment like that. But no. You just brushed him off. 

He was about to open his mouth and tease you a bit more, just to hear the you that he knew but you beat him to it. “I’m sorry, Harry. About what I said earlier, and... everything before that too.” You mumbled, focusing your attention on scrubbing the last dish that was definitely clean already. 

“Oh! Um, thank you.” Was all he could muster out, his heart beating a thousand times a second, as his cheeks turned red. This was odd. 

You waited a bit, in the silence, for him to say more but he didn’t, You sighed, putting the last dish on the rack and wiping your hands dry on the towel before turning to him fully. 

“Really? I just apologized for like, everything, and you can't do the same?” You asked, looking up at him exasperated. “I’m not the only one here who has been an absolute asshole, it goes both ways.”

He furrowed his brows and looked at you, the wheels visibly turning in his head. “M’sorry too. I mean it. It’s fitting how y’apologized first though, because y’know, you started it.”

He really needed to stop talking.

You glared at him incredulously. “I started it? When I met you, you didn’t even bother to look at me, not even halfway through our introduction you left to talk to someone else. It was like that the entire day, sue me for reacting like any normal person would.” You said, you gaze now focused on his chest. You deflated a bit, after admitting that to him. It was terrible, meeting someone you had adored for years, only for them to leave and not even finish listening to your name.

His mouth formed an “o” shape as his frustration dissipated. Harry couldn't even argue with you on that, because he remembered that night. One of his mates had called for him and he sped off, leaving you in the middle of one of your neighbor’s backyards during a little get together. 

“I-I’m sorry. I remember that, y’didn’t deserve that at all, I was a proper arse.” He managed to get out, his lips turning into a line at the tension. 

“Yeah,” you laughed a bit. “Every year I’d just hate you more and more, because every time I saw you it seems you hated me more than the last.”

“The same f’me too, y’know.”

“What?” You looked up at him. 

“I hated y’cause I thought y’hated me.” He pointed out, his lips turning up into a grin. 

You laughed, your head falling into your hands. “I think we should’ve had this conversation years ago,” You said, looking up at the man who didn't seem so bad anymore. “Do you wanna start over?” You asked. 

“No, let’s treat it as a bump in the road, y’know? Kiss and makeup.” He grinned, looking up to the ceiling. 

You followed his gaze to see a little brach of mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. “That’s an odd place for mistletoe.”

“Doesn't matter, y’have t’follow the rules.” He said cheekily. 

He stepped forward as did you, and you brought your hands up to his shoulders. You leaned up and kissed his cheek instead, plush lips against his stubble. You pulled away and smiled at the visible blush on his cheeks. 

“You tease.” He laughed, wrapping his arms around you in a warm hug, and in that moment, you finally understood why everyone would die to feel his touch.

 low-key hated this ending but its fineee. thank you for all the love <3

[huangbae]

oo can i please request nct dreams reaction to their s/o denying them cuddles and kisses?

a/n: thank you sm for requesting !! :) hope you enjoy <33 btw i didn’t proofread so if there’s any errors i’m sorry D:

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

˗ˏˋNct Dream’s Reactions To... ´ˎ˗

you denying them kisses/cuddles <3

< mark >

you and mark were cooking because your mom was coming to meet him

he was flipping through the recipe book and giving you instructions

he was taking the whole thing very seriously

he was wearing an apron and one of those white chef hats

even though he refused to touch what you were making it because he didn’t wanna mess anything up

you thought his dedication to this whole thing was cute

so after you finished making dinner

and you both got dressed for the occasion

“so, how about a celebratory kiss?”

you laughed at his attempt and told him to wait after your mom left

he was pouting the whole time

even when your mom came by

but you made sure to kiss him after she left so

thumbs up emoji

< renjun >

both of you were attending a party being held by chenle

it was 2 am and you were ready to go home

but renjun was having a good time

so you didn’t wanna ruin his fun so

you tried staying up

a notification from your phone made you jump in your seat a little bit

so you checked it

and it was a text from renjun telling you to meet him in the kitchen

so you got up and walked groggily to the kitchen

the loud music blasting into your ears

which made you kind of annoyed

when you saw renjun he grabbed your hand and asked you for a kiss

you rolled your eyes and started walking back to your seat

but renjun caught up to you and complained to chenle

“my s/o is getting cranky, they don’t even wanna kiss me anymore, i think they’re ready to go”

classic sassy renjun

10/10 would recommend good job y/n

< jeno >

jeno was playing with his cats the whole day

and you were bored

and cuddle-deprived

so you were just a little bit sad

jeno noticed and try to crack some jokes every now and then

to no avail

while you were grabbing a water bottle from the kitchen

he walked up behind you and back hugged you

“stop ignoring me :(“

you rolled your eyes playfully

and told him to get off

he didn’t

so you gave him a quick kiss and ran off into jeno’s room again

he just stood in the kitchen

shocked

for a good 2 minutes

until he ran to his room

and begged you to do it again

< haechan >

after a day of walking through the park with you

his legs were tired

so while you guys were sitting on a bench waiting for the bus to come pick you guys up

he sits on your lap

and grabs your arms and wraps them around his waist himself

he gets mad when you take them off his waist

turns his head around and starts complaining

he took what you did personally

“if you want to break up, just tell me now, y/n D:”

starts fake crying

even though theres other people at the bus stop

and when you get embarrassed he gets even more dramatic

“oh wow. now i’m embarrassing. i can’t believe you’d do this to me, y/n.”

doesn’t speak abt it after you guys get on the bus

lesson learned

don’t mess w haechan

< jaemin >

ever since jaemin got a new job he’s been so preoccupied

you’ve been doing school too so its not like he has nothing to complain about

but still you guys missed each other

you’ve been sitting at your desk the whole day

clicking the keys on your keyboard

but then you heard the door open

and footsteps towards the office you were in

before you could even think about it

jaemin crashed through the door

you don’t know how he has so much energy after working 12 hours at a tiring retail job

but he kneeled down to the chair

hugging your knees and placing his head on your lap

“y/n, i demand attention.”

you declined, saying you needed to finish a paper for your history class

but before you got to finish

he started pulling your swiveling office chair out of the room

and into your shared bedroom

he’s so extra all he wanted was some attention from his favorite person

he’s so pouty though how could you resist

< chenle >

you were scrolling through his instagram

more specifically

the pictures he posted of the both of you

you also looked through the pics he posted of himself

he was already behind you

waiting for the perfect moment to catch you in the act

he put his hands on either of your shoulders

“BOO”

started laughing at how scared you got

you pouted and told him that the pictures were special to you

he looked at you and smiled

“come here, you sentimental idi—”

he comes closer to you with his lips puckered up

you stop him by holding a hand up to his face

and you start running away from him

“this is what you get for making fun of me, zhong chenle.”

chases after you

rolls his eyes

he catches up to you

makes you kiss him

but actually this time

< jisung >

you and jisung were watching a movie on netflix

his head was on your lap

and you were playing with his hair

you could tell he was blushing

a few minutes later

he turned his head and asked if he could kiss you

you decline just because you wanted to pay attention to the movie

you felt bad though bcs jisung looked embarrassed

he even apologized which made you feel even worse

so you tapped his shoulder

and kissed him on the cheek

he covered his face and didn’t talk to you for like a solid 20 minutes

the cheek kiss + the hair play literally rendered him speechless

you called him cute and he literally had to excuse himself

jisung has to be so cute when he’s flustered

man.

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

thank you sm for reading !! i hope you enjoyed :D feel free to request something if you’d like :]

~ with love, huangbae :)

[libraryofloveletters]

Could I request a fake dating with Hotch where you’re upset bc you’re nervous about going to a friends wedding bc you know your semi recent ex will be there so Hotch comes with you as your plus one. But obv you both like each other and you never acted on it before and get together for real at the end?

Cover For Me

Aaron Hotchner x Reader 

Warnings: fem!reader, cursing 

Category: fluff 

Word Count: 1.5k

Author’s Note: I wrote this at like 4am oops, hope you like it sweets! 

----

The pretty yellow envelope sat on your desk. You knew exactly what was in it, an invitation to your friend’s wedding. You didn’t want to go but she insisted on you being there. Your ex was going to be there and although you ended things on good terms, you weren't ready to see them just yet.

Everyone had left for the night, it was just you and Hotch at the office. He was headed out when you went to throw the envelope out. “Are you okay l/n? You were done with your work hours ago. Why are you still here?” he seemed genuinely concerned. 

“Just throwing out some stuff” you smiled at him 

“That’s a bright envelope” he chuckled, glancing down at the envelope in your hand. 

“Yeah just an invite, but I'm not going.” you told him 

“Where aren't you going?” he asked you 

“My friend’s wedding. She wants me to bring a plus one but everyone’s busy. Spence’s going to see his mom, JJ and Will have a party, Emily has her annual ‘sin to win’ weekend and Penelope’s going with her and Derek’s going out with some girl he met. As for Rossi, everyone’s just gonna think he’s my sugar daddy and I’m not in the mood for their judgement” You explained to him your lack of a date

He chuckled, “Maybe I could go with you? If you don’t mind of course and well, if you’re even going” 

You were shocked he offered to go with you, you knew he spent his weekends with Jack. “Are you sure? I don’t want to make you cancel your plans to go to some wedding with me.” you looked at him, he smiled. “I didn’t have any plans, Jack’s with his grandparents this weekend. What time should I pick you up?” 

“Is 3 alright?” 

“3 is perfect. I’ll see you tomorrow” he gave your arm a little squeeze before heading out leaving you in the office by yourself. 

----

It was now 2:57 and you were waiting for Aaron to come pick you up. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t nervous. Your boss offered to be your date and also because your ex is going to be there, with their new partner. 

You took a look in the mirror, adjusting the front of your dress. It was a black silk dress Emily had convinced you to buy a while ago. It was floor length and backless, it fit your body like it was made just for you. It had red embroidery going down one side, from the shoulder to right above your hip. 

The doorbell rang, you took a deep breath in before opening the door. Aaron was wearing all over black, the two two buttons on his shirt undone. There was no denying that he looked handsome.

“You look beautiful” He smiled at you.

You chuckled “Hello to you too Mr. Hotchner” 

A red tint spread across his cheeks, he smiled “Hi y/n” 

“You don’t look so bad yourself” you leaned against the door.

There had always been this unspoken level of attractiveness between the two of you. You opened the door wider for him to step in, “give me two minutes to find my shoes and I'll be ready” he nodded and shut the door behind him as you walked over to your closet. You pulled out a pair of black heels and slipped them on before walking back to Aaron. Even with your heels on, he still towered over you by a few inches. 

“Ready ?” he asked you, looking you up and down. “Yeah, I'm ready”

---- 

The service was beautiful, your friend was the ideal image of a blushing bride. Everyone was at the reception and Aaron had stepped away to take a phone call, leaving you with the chance to get yourself a drink. 

“Uh, a rum and coke please” the bartender nodded as you leaned against the counter. Your ex made their way over, you looked away praying that they wouldn’t come talk to you. 

“Y/n! It’s so good to see you” They smiled at you 

fuck fuck fuck, this is what you wanted to avoid. 

“Hey! Good to see you too” you gave them a fake smile. Where the hell was Hotch when you needed him. You glanced around hoping you’d see Hotch and excuse yourself but he was nowhere to be seen. 

“How have you been ? Oh! Have you met Sam? They’re my partner” 

“Mhm nice to meet you Sam” you gave the two of them a fake smile. Aaron had seen your ex once or twice from pictures so he knew who was talking to you when he walked back over to you. 

You felt his arm wrap around your waist, his hand on your hip rubbing it softly. “Hey baby, I'm sorry it was work” He gave you a kiss on the cheek. 

You smiled at him “It’s alright. Oh, this is (ex’s name) my ex” Aaron looked at them and nodded, not saying anything. 

Your ex stood there trying to make a conversation with you but Aaron kept whispering in your ear. It wasn’t anything important, just stupid little dad jokes which made you giggle every time. Your favourite song came on, your ex glanced at you. 

“Dance with me sweets? I know this is your favourite” Aaron asked you. You were surprised he knew your favourite song. “Of course I'll dance with you” The two of you walked to the dance floor hand in hand leaving your ex behind. 

Aaron’s hand rested on your hip and the other was holding your hand. The two of you swayed to the beat, not a care in the world. It felt as if the two of you were the only people in the room, in the world. The world and everything in it melted away as the two of you spun around the dance floor. 

Before you knew it, the song was over and the two of you were still standing there, holding onto each other. 

---- 

He drove you back home, still playing the part of the boyfriend. He opened the door for you, holding your hand and helping you out of the car. You smiled at him as he walked you to the front door. 

“Do you want some coffee or something? I have cake in the fridge” you look at him, back against the door waiting for his answer. 

“Coffee sounds good” 

You unlocked the door and walked in, he followed you in and shut the door. You pulled off your heels and left them by the door before heading to the kitchen. When Aaron got to the kitchen, his jacket was off and his sleeves were rolled up. 

You could feel the butterflies in your stomach, something about him had always made you want to be close to him. Tonight didn't help your feelings at all, everything felt so normal, so domestic. 

Your coffee maker beeped, snapping you out of your dream world. Aaron was filling water into the machine, “sorry, I was supposed to do that” you said to him. “It’s alright, you zoned out for a second there. Are you okay?” he asked, leaning against your counter. You hopped up onto the counter beside him and he turned to face you. 

“Tonight was nice” you whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear 

“It was, I had a good time” he said back 

You fidgeted with your fingers, his hand rested on top of yours. “y/n, what’s on your mind?” he asked you, he shifted closer towards you. You shook your head, “I’m fine, why do you ask?”

“I know you, you only fidget with your fingers when something’s on your mind or if you’re upset.” he admitted to you. You took a breath in, depending if you should tell him how you really felt. You knew either way, he’d figure it out eventually but you wanted to tell him, you should tell him. 

“I didn’t thank you for being my date tonight” you looked down at your lap, he smiled. “You don't have to thank me, y/n. I’m glad I could go with you” 

You rested a hand on his cheek, unsure how he’d react. His head leaned towards your hand, nuzzling his cheek into your palm. 

“I like you Aaron” you whispered, looking up at him. You could feel him smile against your palm, he turned his head to press a little kiss in your palm. 

“I like you too. Honestly, I thought I was over my feelings but tonight showed me that I wasn’t” he told you, stepping forward to stand between your legs. His hands cupped your cheeks as he leaned forward, you leaned closer as you felt his lips touch yours. The kiss was gentle, but passionate.

There was 4 years of chemistry in that one kiss. 4 years of small touches, over the shoulder glances, pining, lust and want poured into this kiss. This was magical and for the second time that night, you felt as if the whole world melted away. 

[luvspence]

prom night

synopsis: you and spence both never got your own prom, maybe this makes up for it

{a/n: i’m projecting a little bit bc i missed my prom, but i hope this isn’t too cheesy}

——-

the east coast was your home

born and raised in dc, school in new york, work in virginia

you wouldn’t have it any different

except for the fact that you lived less than 20 mins outside your childhood home

you loved being able to be close to your family, but it had its downsides

“y/n can you pick up your brother

y/n can you run to the store for me

y/n can you pick up my dry cleaning”

and it was like you were in high school all over again

on one occasion you were at home with your mom and your baby sister, delaney, she was 17, so not much of a baby anymore

“so what’s the hot gos” you said taking a bite out of your gronola bar and looking your sister down

“ew”

“dont ‘ew’ me”

“well i got asked to the prom yesterday”

your mom nearly dropped her pan

“NO WAY”

“yes way, is it so hard to believe that someone would like me? i’m not y/n for crying out loud”

you gave her a light punch on the arm

“NOT FUNNY”

she wasn’t far from wrong though, you were the classic “nerd”

15 years ago when you were in her place, at the exact same high school, you were never asked to prom, you were too busy in math olympiad or physics club to ever want to attend prom

but that was 15 years ago, now you lost the braces and the acne, got 2 degrees, and had a very lovely boyfriend of your own

“it is though, you’re lucky you found spencer, two dorks made for each other” she said taking a sip of her water

“you’re such a bitch”

15 year age gap aside, you were still very much, sisters

“y/n, do you mind chaperoning? that way we don’t have to pay for a ticket” your mom asked

your sister blurted out “oh my god NO”

you were laughing so hard, usually this is the kind of thing you’d pass on, but it torturing your sister was so so so worth it

“okay i’m game, see you prom night”

——

“spencerrrrrrr” you trailed on as you sat next to spencer on the couch, staring deep into his hazel eyes

“yes my love?”

“do you love meeeeeeee???”

spencer rolled his eyes, he knew this is how you asked him for a favors

“to the moon and back, why??????”

“okay look, my baby sister, delaney, is going to the prom and i’m chaperoning her, and she called me and you dorks so we have to get back at her by embarrassing the hell out of her at her prom”

spencer laughed

“you’re no better than a petty 17 year old”

you rolled your eyes “so can we?”

he looked at you, than his eyes trailed from the calendar to his watch to you again

“of course”

“yes!” you gave him a hug and planted a kiss on his cheek

“i love you so bad spencer reid!” you said as you ran around the apartment

“even more!” he replied

—

“incoming call from spencer reid”

“hey y/n?”

“yes love?”

“what color dress are you wearing tonight?”

“green, why?”

“no reason...”

he said before he hung up

you laughed to yourself “what a dork”

you continued to brush the mascara on your eyes, getting ready for your very first prom night

you came running down the stairs in a dark green ankle length dress, while spencer waited to pick you up

he was wearing a suit with a matching bow tie to your dress

“that’s why you asked the color! you look dashing by the by”

you said as you leaned over and gave him a cheek staining kiss

“and this” he said as he handed you a beautiful green corsage arrangement

“spencer! for me? this is gorgeous”

you said as you slipped it onto your wrist

“yeah, penelope knows a guy”

“of course she does, and thank you! i can’t believe you’d go through all of this for me on fake prom” you said as he started driving toward your parents house

“hey this prom is not fake at all to me, i’ve never been to prom before”

you shrugged “me neither, i always thought it was dumb anyway”

“this is sort of embarrassing” spencer said scratching his head

“come on spencer it’s just me”

“okay, you know i went to highschool very young, i hadn’t even gone through puberty. i was the smallest guy in the class and that wasn’t purely based on my age. i was scrawny. but i had this grand idea of going to prom with the most beautiful girl. and i’d be all tal and handsome at that point, and i’d walk into that dance and stick it to all my bullies”

“that not embarrassing! i wish i wanted to go to prom like that. i guess i was too pretentious to go, i was an all star intellectual, there was no way i’d show my face at an event like prom”

“yeah, so i guess we both get do overs. and i get to live my prom dream. now i’m tall, and i have a beatiful girl by my side” he said as he smiled at you

“have i ever told you i love you?”

“not enough” he smiled as he pulled into your parents drive way

you got out of your car to wait inside with your sister for her date to arrive

eventually a tall girl with a equally as beautiful corsage in her hand ended up nervously swaying on the front door and she rang the door bell

spencer answered

“hi!”

“h-hi, mr. y/l/n” she said in a nevrous tone

spencer laughed out loud and you went to intervene

“oh my yeah he’s just my boyfriend, hi i’m delaney’s older sister y/n. no need to be nervous, there’s no dad around here. just a lot of siblings, my mom and my boyfriend!” you said as you welcomed her into the house

delaney went to take the corsage from her date, melanie

your mom lined you spencer and your sister and melanie up for what felt like 800 pictures before you finally decided to get into spencers car to the dance

in the car you turned around to the girls

“sooooo, how’d y’all meet”

delaney burried her head into her knees in embarrassment while her date explained

“well she was in my physics class, and it all went from there”

“physics!!! i love physics, is mr. scott still there?”

“yup he’s our teacher”

“sick” you said to yourself, reminiscing about your days in high school

eventually you pulled into your highschool parking lot, hooking arms with spencer as you walked toward then gym

“god does this bring me back”

you said to him

your sister whispered to her date “god she’s so old”

“HEY DELANY I HEARD THAT”

she gave you the stink eye and whispered in your ear

“please get as far away from me as possible”

all you did was nod as you watched the two of them skip into their dance

you looked up at spencer

“god you’re so cute, i wish i had you here in high school”

“i’m sure you had your boys”

“from the physics club? right”

you walked into the fully decorated gym, wandering around from the punch bowl to the photo booth, you and spencer watching the floor of kids dance to their hearts content

“i think i know why i skipped this in highschool”

spencer laughed

“ i would have killed to be in this very position when i was in high school”

you wrapped your arms around his neck and looked him in the eyes

“killed to be in prom in the first place or to be here with me?”

“with your of course”

he said as he met your lips for a kiss

obviously bringing spencer was a bad idea for your sabotage delany plan, because you got way too distracted with spencer by your side

you spent the entire night talking to him, dancing with him to the slow songs, taking funny pictures in the photo booth

high school stuff you guess

eventually when all the kids were slow dancing, you looked up at spencer

“wanna make a break for it?”

he didn’t know what that meant, but if it was with you he’d do it, so he just nodded and followed you outside

you buried your head into his shoulder as you walked around the campus you grew up on, pointing to the points of interest

you pointed to a big oak tree with seat like roots under it

“that’s where we used have physics club meetings”

then you pointed to a hidden patch behind all the bushes

“this is where i traded homework for money”

he just nodded as you told the stories of your high school experience

you pointed to some old looking railings with a tree standing view it

“that’s where i had my first kiss”

“HUH! i thought you said you got no boys, physics club and all”

“yeah you’re right” you said as you settled on one of the bleacher, overlooking the field and the night sky, spencer joining you

your fancy dress hitting the dirt of the baseball field, the cold april night making you shiver, and spencer putting his blazer coat over you

“you’re right, i didn’t get any boys in high school” you sighed as you cuddled into his arm

“my first kiss was with dylan watson, he was mr blue eyes blonde hair, baseball and perfect social status. and you know i was, braces glasses and physics”

he laughed as you continued to tell the story

“but yeah one day he slipped me a note, i figured he just wanted homework. but he said to meet him there after school. so i did, and he confessed tht he loved me, and wanted to be my boyfriend. and of course i said yes. and the he kissed me. it was the best moment of my life up until then. but as soon as he pulled away he yelled ‘you got that?’”

“oh no” spencer said, listening intently

“oh yes, his buddies had be filming, then they put me on plays all around the entire school, showing the video to everyone. so yeah, that’s why i never want to the prom. i guess it might have been bc i was a nerd, but also because i never wanted to show my face to those kids anymore” you said as you sighed

“you know, i had a similar experience where a pretty girl told me the same thing, but instead the entire school stripped me to my underwear and tied me to a pole. it was awful”

“oh my goodness that’s terrible” you said

“well i guess high school bullying makes great profilers?” yoy laughed

“maybe. i think it also develops character well i’m general too. and hey! you got your first kiss out of it”

“yeah, but high school was the worst, i wish i could tell my 17 year old self that it would get better”

“me too” he said

he said as he tucked his chin into your head and looked up at the stars, faint music echoing from the gym and the sound of your cold shakey breath

“y/n, i’m just glad we got to spend our prom night together”

[yikesharringrove]

Changing the theme a bit, since I saw you dont hate Jonathan thank goddd, maybe Jonathan having to ask Steve and Billy for tips because he's aro or ace? Or something he knows Lonnie wouldve actually killed him for, which Billy gets and Steve is fully willing to help soft Jonathon be a THING and they are just his gay mentors and mayhaps. Nancy just doesnt get it and it gets messy and Will just stands up for his brother in full anger and slams the door in her face and hugs jon so tight he falls

Steve is sex-positive ace, Billy is sex-repulsed, and Jon is greyace bc I’ve gotten so many messages about how many people were affected positively by showing ace diversity in that one drabble I wrote, so we’re keeping this goin’ because you’re ALL VALID. 😤

-

Jonathan had been crashing on their couch for a week and a half and has yet to say anything about the situation more than Nancy and I had a fight.

Billy and Steve didn’t know what the fuck to do about it. Jonathan was obviously fucking heartbroken over whatever the fight had been about, but they didn’t wanna pry.

“Thank you guys for taking me in. I’m sorry, I’ve probably been cramping your style.” Steve just shook his head, serving three plates of eggs and toast.

“There’s not a lot of style going on in this apartment for you to cramp.” Steve smiled at him as he placed the plates on the table. Jonathan gave him an odd look.

“What do you, what do you mean?”

“We don’t really fuck.” Billy was always the blunt one. Jonathan’s fork clattered to the table.

“You don’t, why not?”

“Neither of us are really into it.” Jonathan looked like he could fucking cry.

“Me neither. That’s what the fight was. Nancy kept asking why we don’t have sex, and if I stopped loving her, and I do! I love her so much, but I just, sometimes I feel that way about her, but I usually don’t, and I’m so fucking confused.” Steve reached out, placing a firm hand on Jonathan’s arm.

“Jon, it’s okay. I mean, I don’t think we’ve had sex in like, a year?” Billy nodded.

“It was before we actually talked about how we both felt about it.”

“And is that-” Jonathan trailed off, but they got it. Is that like me.

“I don’t mind sex. If I’m with someone who wants to have it, I can be cool with that, but I don’t always get off, and it’s more about making the other person feel good, or using it as another way to be like, intimate. But I don’t really think about it, and I can definitely go without.”

“I actively don’t like fucking. I kinda think sex is, is fucking gross. I mean, you do you and all that, but like, every time I had sex it just, it made me feel gross.” He pulled a face.

“I just, I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel for her, honestly.” Jonathan ran a hand down his face. “Sometimes, sometimes it just feels like a fucking chore. And she just, she kinda confronted me about it, and I probably could’ve worded it better, but she got so angry, and hurt, and we just, we decided to take some time apart.” He pushed the eggs around his plate. “And there are some situations that I just, I want it with her so badly, but most, most of the time I just, I just want to be with her, like just spend time with her. And she, she’s never been very good at being sensitive about things, or, or, sympathetic, and she just, she made me feel fucking broken. Like there was something wrong with me.”

“First of all, fuck her for making you feel like that.” Billy had one eyebrow raised.

“Bill-”

“No. Jonathan, you are not broken, and it sucks she made you feel that way. If she can’t be in a relationship that respects your boundaries, then she is not the one.”

Steve sighed.

“Jon, Bill’s right. A relationship should be safe. She should be more mindful of your boundaries and feelings, and should not be making you feel bad for those things. I’m not saying you should like, dump her-”

“I am.” Steve batted a hand at Billy.

“-but, if you have an open conversation with her, and nothing changes, then you are always welcome here.” Steve squeezed his arm again.

-

The talk with Nancy had been bad.

She had taken everything really personally, said that Jonathan needed to sort out his priorities and to let her know when he’s attracted to her again.

And he tried, he tried so hard to explain the way he felt, that it all comes and goes like the fucking tide, but she had put her foot down.

So he showed up back to Billy and Steve’s apartment with two more suitcases and tears in his eyes.

“I just, I know I can fake it when I need to, I don’t know why I didn’t.”

“Because forcing yourself to do shit like that sucks. Fuck Nancy for being a bitch. Figure yourself out, and then find someone who respects your boundaries.”

Billy was pacing in front of the sofa, talking sharply, pointing at Jonathan a lot. Steve had one arm over his shoulders.

“You deserve respect, Jon. And you deserve to feel safe and happy in a relationship.”.

-

He couldn’t sleep that first night.

The fight was circling in his head, over and over and over and over-

He heard the bedroom door open, and someone creep out through the living room and into the kitchen.

He looked over the back of the couch, saw a bleary eyed Steve filling a glass of water for himself, wearing one of Billy’s faded band shirts, and a pair of panties.

Jonathan laid back down before Steve could see him looking.

-

The next morning, he found himself staring at Steve.

He had put shorts on, and even a chunky cardigan while he made breakfast, but Jonathan knew.

“Can I, can I talk to you about something?” Steve smiled brightly at him. “I, um, I noticed you coming out here last night.” Steve just nodded, a look of recognition in his eyes.

“You wondering about panties?”

“Um, yeah.” Steve shrugged. “I just like ‘em. And it’s not like, a sexual thing. Sometimes they make me feel sexy, but that’s not what it’s about. I just like them. Have a lot of women’s thing.”

“What about them do you like?” Steve shrugged again.

“It’s hard to describe. I’ve never felt like, super masculine. Like, big macho tough guy, I wanna hunt and never talk about my feelings.” Steve put on a stupid-sounding deep voice for his macho man. “And I mean, not all men are like that, but that’s kind of how you’re expected to be. And women are expected to be pretty and delicate, and I’ve always related to that more. Women’s clothes help me feel that way.”

“I’ve, um, I’ve always felt that too. Not necessarily the kinda, pretty and delicate part, but the, not feeling connected to masculinity and like, what’s expected from you.” Steve set down a plate of eggs and bacon in front of Jonathan, putting one down for himself as well, and one in Billy’s empty space.

“Hold that thought, I’m gonna grab Billy. He doesn’t like it when I yell for him.” Steve patted him on the arm, and was gone for a few minutes before he returned with Billy in tow.  “Okay, Jonathan. Please continue.”

“Well, not much to say. I feel like my dad kinda always shoved that like, macho man shit on me. Would take me hunting and stuff and I just never liked it.”

“Jesus, mine did that shit too. Not with hunting, but he was all about men having their place, and women having their place.” Billy took an aggressive bite of his bacon.

“Mine was too! I got sad once when I shot a rabbit, and he called me a pussy for like, a week.”

“When my dad was layin’ into me, if he ever saw my cry, it would just get that much worse.” They were nodding at one another, trading shitty dad stories back and forth. “He would like, get mad if I helped my mom cook and shit, too.”

“God, it’s like we had the fuckin’ same dad.” Billy raised his mug at Jonathan. “It’s hard to break outta that shit, even though he’s not in your life, anymore.”

“I think so, too. I haven;t seen him in years, but every time I do something he would’ve thought was too soft, I can still hear him in my head. And you know, that’s one of the things I like about Nancy. She’s really hard, and tough, and never expected me to be that way.” And he knows that in the end, Nancy was bad news for him, not being able to love and accept him, but that aspect of their relationship was so nice, so easy.

“There doesn’t always have to be both. I mean, Steve’s more outwardly soft, but we’re both real mushy at our cores. There doesn’t have to be a big tough one and a sweet soft one. Sometimes you have elements of both and you make it work.”

“You just have to find the balance within yourself, I think. And learn to embrace the parts of you that are soft and the parts that are hard.” Jonathan was nodding vigorously at Steve. “And it’s always different. I love getting to feel soft and pretty in a dress or something, whereas Billy finds ways to be soft by taking care of things, like me and all the plants.”

“Do you think, do you think you could help me? Find that, I mean.”

“Of course! Just think of the things you already feel, things that feel right when you do them, and that’s a good starting point. And maybe that’s your photography, and maybe it’s something else.”

So they let Jonathan experiment with things to find his softness.

He would help Billy tend to the fucking garden they had on the balcony, or bake with Steve. He took a million pictures, and Steve was thriving under the camera, would put on make up and something pretty and pose around the apartment.

It was just nice.

Getting to live with these two, and train himself not to be ashamed, it was nice.

Will would come and visit quite often, and he and Jonathan spent a wonderful Saturday evening coming out to each other, and validating the ever loving shit out of one another.

Billy and Steve came home to the two brothers hugging one another on the couch and trying to hold back tears.

Steve had inserted himself into the hug while Billy patted each one of them on the head and started making dinner.

But he figured of course this would happen.

His perfect little cocoon would crumble apart at some point.

Will had come over, and Steve and Billy had gone out to dinner together, leaving the two of them to order pizza and have a movie night.

It was great, hanging out with his brother like when they were little, not a fucking care in the world.

There was a knock at the door.

“Jon, it’s me. It’s Nancy. Can we talk” Jonathan’s heart stuttered to a halt in his chest.

Will was staring at the door like maybe he could set it on fire if he glared hard enough.

Jonathan sighed, opening the door to face his fate.

“Are you seriously still mad at me?”

“Yes.” She huffed.

“C’mon. Come back home.”

“Nancy, I can’t. Not if you’re not going to respect me.”

“We were fine. I don’t know why we can’t just go back to the way we were-”

“Because I was forcing myself to do things I was uncomfortable with just to make you happy.”

“Relationships are compromise, Jonathan.”

“I know that, but when I brought up to you what wasn’t working, you refused to listen. I was the only one forfeiting my boundaries and comfort in that relationship, and I deserve more.” She rolled her eyes.

“Jesus Christ, Jonathan, this is-” Will was shoving Jonathan back, stepping between the two.

“Nancy, he’s done talking to you about this. Unless you can respect that he doesn’t always feel that way, then move the fuck on.” He slammed the door right in her face. “You don’t need her.”

Jonathan was gobsmacked. Will had never spoken to anyone like that, at least not that Jonathan’s every seen.

“Why did you...?” He trailed off, still staring at the door.

“She was pissing me off. You’re right. You compromised everything in that relationship and she couldn’t even give you the bare minimum.”

Jonathan swept Will up, hugging him as tight as he possibly could.

“Thank you.”

“You deserve better than her.”

“Yeah, I do.”

[apparentlynotreallyfinnish]

Yo. Appa. Real talk. Do you or anyone else want to write a fic about RandL finding the Blood Oath? Like in Link’s mom’s attic or something in NC. Bc I would die & honor my existence to you. ❤️

I took a stab at it. Not sure if this is what you had in mind. Probably not.

—

Rhett was holding the haphazardly taped up envelope in his hand like it was a holy relic. He rushed inside throwing his backpack on the floor as he hurried to the kitchen and grabbed the first knife that caught his eye. With a trembling hand he slowly cut the envelope open and tilted it to slide out the contents. A worn wallet dropped on the counter. Rhett’s fingers softly brushed the soft leather. His breath caught and he had to swallow down a sob.

When he’d gotten the message, he’d ignored it. Lots of peoples sent him messages on Instagram. Sometimes he read them; most often than not, he didn’t have the time. Thankfully, this person had been persistent and when Rhett got the fifth message he actually read it.

I bought an old wallet from a thrift shop. It had a piece of paper inside. I think it might be your blood oath.

Rhett had read the message, sighed and smiled a little. They both got messages like this once in a while. Enthusiastic fans who thought some old paper might be the long gone blood oath. People had even faked oaths to show them. Rhett didn’t think they actually meant any harm; they just wanted to be noticed. Link took it harder than Rhett did. Decades had passed and Link still felt bad about losing his wallet and the only remaining oath with it.

But then Rhett had seen the pictures. It was a timeworn piece of paper; yellowed with writing that was almost entirely worn off. The words were barely legible but Rhett didn’t need to read them to know he was looking at the real deal. The little brown stains at the bottom of the paper told him everything he needed to know.  

The finder of the wallet was more than happy to send it to Rhett. He wouldn’t even accept his pleas to pay a finder’s fee or at least reimburse him for the postage.

It’s yours. It belongs to you guys. Knowing it’s going home is enough for me.

Rhett cried that night. He cried for the little boys standing in a field all those years ago, holding a dirty shard of glass, amping each other up for the cut. He cried for two best friends in a small town with big dreams. He cried for the years after; school, girlfriends, college, wives, children, mind-numbing jobs, the Thursday nights, the commercials, the music, the videos, the cross-country move, the company, the team they build, their own little empire. He cried for a dream realized and for the friendship that had carried through all through their lives. 

Rhett saw the little boys with bleeding palms in his mind as if it had happened yesterday and more than anything, he wanted to go back in time, gather them in his arms and tell them their dreams eventually came true.

—

The episode was the old silly game show format they hadn’t done in ages. Link had been confused about the change in schedule but it had been explained to him with plausible lies and half-truths. 

Rhett was nervous. He laughed too loud and messed up his lines too many times. Link whispered his concern during a break and Rhett waved him off blaming a sleepless night. Link continued to look at him with worry threaded in his eyebrows but the filming went on.

Rhett’s palms were sweating as they got to the last round. Link had to get this question right to win the prize. Rhett gave all the hints he could and to his infinite relief Link actually got the point that brought him victory.

“Here,” Rhett squeaked as he thrust the mystery box into Link’s hands. Link frowned a little.

“I thought I can choose between this and the dollar?” he said with a smirk at the camera.

“You’ll want this,” Rhett just said. He couldn’t sit still anymore. His leg was bouncing and his heart was almost painfully thumping against his rib cage. Link’s eyebrow hitched up, but then he shrugged and opened the box.

“What’s this then?” he asked and picked up the wallet showing it to the camera.

Rhett wrung his hands and drank in the expression of his best friend as the realization slowly hit him. Link stared at the wallet and then at Rhett. His mouth had opened to a perfect little o-shape. He said nothing; he just turned the wallet over and over in his hands.

“Look inside,” Rhett prompted, never before as impatient as he was now. Link’s eyes shot to him again and he looked like he was on the verge of tears.

“No,” Link whispered staring at Rhett.

“Just look,” Rhett pleaded voice as shaky as his hands. He dragged his palms against his thighs; it was simultaneously a desperate way to dry them and a lackluster way to self-soothe.

Link’s hands were visibly trembling as he opened the wallet and pulled out the thin slip of paper. His fingers worked slowly and meticulously as he unfolded it and smoothed it out against the table.

Rhett’s chest swelled and his vision blurred by a film of tears. He wanted to say something. He wanted to explain to Link. There was a speech; things he’d wanted to say, things he wanted Link to know as if he already didn’t. 

No words came out. 

Rhett was transfixed by the rigid form of his life-long best friend. Link sat there, motionless, staring at the faint words and the overlapping stains pressed onto the page all those years ago.

They still had the cameras to remember; they had content to think about. The beasts would love this.   

“Link,” Rhett murmured trying to get Link’s attention. 

What he didn’t know was that Link had been swaying on a precipice; he’d been teetering on the edge of ruin and his name spoken by the soft timbre of his partner pushed him over the cliff. 

Link crumbled. He fell towards Rhett who barely had time to gather him in his arms.

Link clung to him, hands bunched into fists, the back of Rhett’s shirt gathered into them in a pursuit for something tactile to hold on. Rhett pulled him in, held him close and buried his face into the crook of his neck. 

Link smelled like peppermint and coffee. He smelled like long hours and laughter. He smelled like harsh words and sincere apologies.  

In Rhett’s arms was a little boy turned adult but never grown up.

Link’s tears stained Rhett’s shirt and drenched his shoulder. He didn’t care. He was working on his own little creek of salt water near Link’s collarbone.

“We did it,” Link whimpered against the wet fabric. Rhett nodded vigorously refusing to back down even an inch. He held on still, keeping Link in a tight embrace, hoping that his body pressed against his could convey all the things he wanted to say but couldn’t.

“We made an oath. How could we not?” Rhett whispered, voice wet with tears. Link let out a snotty chuckle and pulled Rhett even closer.

Neither remembered the cameras anymore. The crew was quiet. There was a reverence for the moment. Everyone knew they were privileged to witness this and no one would dare to disrupt the scene unfolding before their eyes.

It took a while for them to separate. They moved slowly apart, like they had to fight the pull of each other’s bodies. Rhett’s thumbs rose to Link’s face and brushed away the lingering tears. Link smiled and did the same to him. They sat still for a beat, holding each other’s faces, their foreheads pressed together. 

Always almost too close for comfort. That was how they worked. The blood on the paper had dried decades ago but the blood in their veins still moved by hearts beating in the same rhythm. Always awesome. Always creating.

Always together.

[trashinaglass-archive]

Love

Tom comforts y/n after she reads hate comments

Request: Hi gorgeous!! :) I was wondering, could I request something where the reader has been seeing/getting hate from fans just because she’s dating Tom? And he comforts her/makes her feel better? Maybe he even posts something sweet about her too? Thank you so much if you do end up writing this!! 💕💕

A/n: This request gives me Dirty Dancing vibes bc nobody puts Baby in a corner

Idk if that’s what the scene is about, I haven’t watched the movie for real. Just seen scenes from my mom watching it. But I assume something not nice is happening to Baby for a line like that.

“She’s so ugly”

“He could do better, let’s be honest”

“Try laying off the makeup next time”

“She looks so fake”

You felt your heart sink at the comments under the post. TMZ posted a photo of you and Tom leaving a restaurant after a lunch date. Tom had warned you beforehand what it would be like dating him- paparazzi, traveling, fans. He told you that people would make rumors and say mean things and that if you saw it to not dwell on it. He warned you to stay away from the comment sections- they do more harm than good.

But you couldn’t help yourself. You wanted to know what people were saying about you, good or bad. You had told yourself time and time again that you’re a good person and you treat Tom well so his fans would love you. That was far from the truth though. They despised you even though they didn’t know you. They spent so much time on each platform you were on sending you hate messages one after the other.

“Hey, love,” you heard Tom say as he walked into your apartment. You closed your laptop, putting on a smile and walking to greet him.

“Hey,” You said, hugging him. You pulled away after a second and kissed him before letting him go to come into your place. “I had some pasta left over from lunch if you want some.”

“Thanks, darling. I’m starving,” Tom replied as he headed straight for your kitchen, opening the fridge to find the box of food. “Had an eventful day?” He looked at you as he began eating.

“Not really, just been online,” you said with a shrug, not wanting to talk about it. You wanted to lie and say that you hadn’t spent the day reading all the hate comments, but you were the worst liar. You knew if he asked you wouldn’t be able to hide it.

“Anything interesting?” He coaxed you to tell him more. You looked at your phone, giving a shake of your head, not really answering. “You okay, love? You’re acting a bit weird.”

“What do you mean?” You said with a laugh, still not looking at him. You knew exactly what he meant, but you weren’t about to face the music.

“You’re never this vauge. Did you read something about you? What did it say?” His full attention was now on you. You bit your lips lightly as you tried to figure out how to deal with the situation at hand.

“Well, you know. Shit happens,” you began to pull words out of the air.

“No, y/n, tell me what you read,” Tom insisted. You took a breath before looking up, finally facing him.

“It was fangirls on an Instagram post talking about how I’m not good enough for you and just shit,” you fessed up. “It’s not a big deal.”

“No, it’s a huge deal. Why didn’t you tell me about it?” Tom asked, moving from where he stood behind the kitchen counter to stand in front of you.

“Because I knew you’d act like this, and I didn’t want to bother you,” you told him, your voice soft.

“But if something is bothering you, I want to know,” he began to explain to you. “Especially if it’s something I could fix. You need to tell me about stuff like this, love.” You nodded your head, telling Tom you understood. He reached a hand out to you and pulled you into him for a tight embrace. You rest your head against his chest and closed your eyes tightly as you felt your eyes watering slightly. “Why don’t we put on a film in the living room and just chill out on the couch?” Tom suggested.

“Yeah, that would be perfect,” you told him, your voice breaking slightly. You pulled away from him and looked at your stash of movies, picking a few that you wanted to watch. You handed them to Tom, and he began working on getting the tv set up while you went to grab some pillows and blankets. You walked back in to find the tv on the film menu and Tom laid on the couch with the remote beside him.

“Bring that ass,” he said when he saw you walk back into the room. You shook your head at his words and plopped the pile of bedding on his lap, making him let out an ‘oof’.

“Water? Beer? Wine? Liquor?” You began to list off, walking into the kitchen.

“Beer, please,” he replied. You heard him moving around, getting the blankets and stuff in place while you grabbed a beer for Tom and poured yourself a drink. Walking back into the living room, you handed Tom his beer and set yours down on the coffee table before laying on the couch with Tom as he pressed play for the movie to start.

He slouched against the arm rest with his legs spread out along the rest of the couch, and you laid your head against his chest, your hand resting on his stomach. One of your legs was out straight next to his while the other was hiked up over his thighs, one hand resting on your leg while the other rubbed your back.

You began to watch the movie but soon gave in to the comfort of your position and fell asleep. Tom looked down at your sleeping figure and began to feel bad about the hate you were reading and receiving. You were a princess- the sweetest girl he’d ever met, and you didn’t deserve the words they said about you. Trying not to wake you, he pulled his phone out of his back pocket and opened it to his camera, snapping a picture of you resting on him.

“I wish you guys could feel the love and positivity y/n has to give. I’ve never felt anything more special. She is the light of my life, and I want all of you to love her just as much as I do”

Tom posted the picture and immediately put his phone down, his attention moving back to you. He placed his hand back to your thigh, rubbing his thumb gently across your skin.

“I love you so much,” he whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of your head. “And they will too- one day.”

[roseamongroses]

Antithesis: “what do you have? “ I have a kNIFE” “NO”

[Specific-Summary]: They should expect growing pains. For not everything to feel right or make sense. That doesn't mean it'll always hurt, nor does it mean they can't have fun along the way. It's senior year. Everything may be different. It won't be senior year for long. Everything will be okay.

[General Warnings]: Implied Emotional Abuse, Implied Physical Abuse, Bad Parents are Bad Parents, Mild Sexual Content/jokes,Mentioned Homophobia, Mentions of underage drinking (backround), Some Catcalling,Cursing , Self Hate,implied pregnancy talk/inability to become pregnant, adults arguing where the “kid” can hear it, adults drinking,

[Tags/mood:] highschool au, ��fluff and angst but its all good, chat fic, teen stress, its flordia no snow we die like men [Pairing:] Roceit (Roman Sanders/ Deceit Sanders), hinted future/possible logince/roloceit/loceit [Characters]Roman Sanders/Deceit (Dmitri) Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy (Sleep) Sanders, Nate Sanders, Dragon Witch (Diana) Remus “The Duke” Sanders (minor/brief)

(Ao3) (Previously)

(8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15)

(16) (17) (18) 

L: I May Have Lost Roman

V: nice

P: not nice :)

V: i feel vaguely threatened

Rem:@L how the fuck did you manage that Rem: nvm i know how just give me details

L:I don’t know ? One second we were at check out L: Next minute he was Gone and Nieve is looking suspicious

L:Hold on lemme ask Dmitri

V: why is he there

L: I mean he’s actually pretty chill L: But he dropped Roman off and Nieve got attached L:I’m...not sure if she’s planning on letting him go?

V:logan, my friend, my buddy, V:the only person in this chat with basic reading comprehension

Rem: that’s pretty fair

P: it really is tbh

V: Send. Pictures.

L: Okay L: Slight Issue

V: you lost the snake too

L: I lost Dmitri too and Nieve is not spilling

Rem: oh they’re defeinately fucking

L:...Where? The bathroom?

Rem: Don’t knock it till you try it ;)

V: not to be that guy but im vetoing this discussion V: cause thats a Yikes even for you Remy

L: Alright time to find them

Rem: check ;))) the;))) bathrooms ;;))))

L: Remy.

Rem: alrighlright too far ill stop

L: Thank you.

V: keep me updated V: i only have silence and physics homework as company

L:Huh L:Found them

L: Roman….found a katanna…

V: im sorry WHAT V: Why The Fuck Does He Have A Sword

Rem: drop the location of that store man

L: 1) It’s a Katanna L: 2)I will certainly Not. L: 3) He’s trying to convince Dmitri why he should have it

L…..and Dmitri looks more amused then concerned

V: if I can't have a tarantula he sure as hell cant have a sword

L:I told him it was probably fake/ poorly made and that he should take the time to invest the proper skill in money in a real one

V: goddamit logan you cant logic roman.

L: It worked. He put it back. L: So I say I can do what I want with roman

Rem: some spicy takes from the chats only brain cell ;)

---

“So you’re turning eighteen, in a few months. ” His aunt said, dabbing her cheeks with a napkin. She still managed to hold an air of prestige despite getting utterly shitfaced the night before. Her appointments have been going well.

Dmitri looked up, masking his surprise and holding his tongue.

Dr. Montag looked over, quieting the running water and placing the dish was he was cleaning down, “Really?” he said, brushing his hands, “You got any plans?” he asked, Dmitri.

“Oh we usually do something small,” His aunt interjected, “But seeing as he’s my father’s favorite grandchild,” Only grandchild, “He’s is flying from Paris to join us. And he was never a man of modesty so I’ve been thinking about doing something special for the occasion.”

Oh.

Dmitri fought the smile creeping on his face, ducking his head. He shouldn’t be surprised that she remembered after all if his grandfather was visiting. It’s how he got his phone, laptop, his car.

It’s probably why she puts up with him, to begin with. Cause it wasn’t guilt.

“--We should get your hair cut,” She continued, and Dmitri snapped out of his thoughts, “Maybe invite Diana--he’d like her,” she murmured.

“Diana and I a-” He closed his mouth, and his aunt’s eyes shot over.

“You broke up?” She narrowed her eyes, examining her nails, “Huh, makes sense seeing as...” she gestured at him vaguely, “So who have you been sneaking around with?”

“I’m not sneaking around with anyone,” Dmitri said, meeting her gaze. And technically he was right, it’s not sneaking if she just hasn’t been asking. And he’s given up on telling.

Dr. Montag’s eyebrows knitted together confused,” Well that isn’t true,”

Dmitri’s eyes went wide, stomach sinking.

His Aunt’s grin spread, “Oh really?”

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck--

“He’s been helping me out, hon,” Dr. Montag set down a glass of water and pills beside her plate, “You’ve been so stressed lately,” he looked guilty and produced some tickets, “I thought I’d surprise you.”

Her face softened and like that the tension left the room. Those two got to linger in whatever lovey-dovey spell had taken hold of them in the last few months, but Dmitri was still on edge.

She still kept him on edge, but he could get her back. Even the playing field. Anytime he could leave this—Anytime he could flip this switch and put her on edge and make her—

He stopped eating, setting his plate aside.

He felt sick.

---

R:helllloooo R:anyone up R: sigh R: allll by mySELLLLF

L: Roman?

R: the one and lonely yes hello human contact???

L: Are you alright? It’s 3 am why are you still awake?

R: why are YOU up mm????

L: My parents have newborn twins. What’s your excuse?

R: well fuck got me there

R: i was texting dee but he was rlly tired and i stILL can’t sleep

L: Any particular reason?

R: u m

L: Private chat?

R: please

- [TheTruthAboutTheMoon]

TheWalkingMouth: Okay shoot

Cowboy:it's stupid

TheWalkingMouth: I’ll tell you if it's stupid or not just say it

Cowboy: i just….like Cowboy: it's all kinda….hitting me a ll at once and i Really don’t like thinking about it but i cant bottle shit up either like you bastards so i feel like the human equivelent og a washing machine with too much laundry in it

TheWalkingMouth: Then don’t? TheWalkingMouth: Even if it's too ‘stupid’ for me I’m sure Dmitri wouldn’t mind

Cowboy: yeah but i feel like im going to say something shitty to him i Cowboy: like we should talk about it Cowboy: and i will Cowboy: but not now--later when it's not too stressful for either of us

TheWalkingMouth: Why would you say something shitty?

Cowboy: idk id jst get frustrated trying to explain it Cowboy: like hes smart as hell and probbaly get it without me saying anything but like Cowboy: I have neither the patience nor articulation right now to explain like a civil person and he doesnt need me being shitty about it

Cowboy:like,,,,,for example,,,,, if he fucks up in school, he’ll get recommended a tutor and teachers would assume hes doing his best and hes such a sweet and quiet boy

Cowboy: like he is sweet!!but hes a little shit too!! And gets away with it!!! Half those pranks he pulled on virgil, as Iconic as they were he never got in trouble for them!!!

Cowboy: when i fuck up i

Cowboy: god it's stupid

TheWalkingMouth: Might not get a second chance? Yeah I get it.

TheWalkingMouth:Remember when I first transferred here? None of the teachers would take me seriously bc of my accent and if they did, they were afraid of me. I could repeat something another kid said word for word and still be told I had an attitude.

Cowboy: god i remembered that Cowboy: you answered his yes or no questions in a fuckin montone, quiet ass voice and he legit called in the office cause he got scared of a goddamn freshman

Cowboy: But ye when i fuck up Cowboy: im suddenly the lazy ass brown kid who should spend less time corrupting youth with my feminine hips and curls Cowboy: like it's not like a lot of them say it outright but it feels like if im not perfect im fufilling all the stereotypes

TheWalkingMouth: Ah okay, rant away

Cowboy: OK like like like im not like virgil right?? in a lot of ways and it fuckin shows

Cowboy: he’s been planning on going into engineering since sixth grade meanwhile i only got my shit together in highschool

Cowboy: and like now that im here/???what now??? My mother expects me to have my shit together meanwhile im over here freaking the fuck out over whether not it's worth it to even try Cowboy: like yes mother i want to go to an art/or librel arts school that may or may not accept me that we may or may not afford to find a career in who the hell knows because if i have to sit in a healthcare class or a applied mathmatics class like you did i miight actually shank the professor????

Cowboy: that i dread the thought of not trying to explore my options outside of this fucking state but i dread the thought of going bc i cant stand the thought of being away from home but i cant fucking find a reason to stay cause everyone i love is leaving or planning their own life anyway???

Cowboy: like remys gunna fuck off to who knows where regardless of whether or not he has a plans or money, pattons gunna take care of his grandmother whereever the fuck a canada ,moms moving in with tia, virgils already mentally flipping me off ready to fuck nasa , and i only fucking hope dmitri even getss the chance to choose where he goes but hes g o n e and i die from yearning behind a screen like the gay victorian i am , and you….i actually dont know

TheWalkingMouth: Teaching for either biology or physics

Cowboy: huh it fits but what about chemistry??

TheWalkingMouth: Fuck chemistry.

Cowboy: oh thank god we’re on the same page

TheWalkingMouth: Anyway, I assume you’re more worried about whether you should apply rather then if you could get in?

Cowboy: i think so

TheWalkingMouth: Well if my opinion means anything to you

Cowboy: more than you’re assuming but yeah continue

TheWalkinMouth: Wait

Cowboy: nothing nothing continue

TheWalkingMouth: Okay-- I think you should go for it but you don’t need to dive head first into it and commit to everything 100% like virgil did.

TheWalkingMouth: You’re allowed to keep your options open, to have backup plans for back up plans

TheWalkingMouth: It doesn’t mean you’re not passionate about your art. Doesn’t mean you’re inevitably going to get a office job and abandon all your dreams. It means you’re being smart and not backing yourself into a corner

TheWalkingMouth:It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay not to have it all figured out

TheWalkingMouth: Nobody does.

TheWalkingMouth: Even if no one else gives you a second chance at least give yourself a second chance.

TheWalkingMouth: It’s perfectly normal to be afraid to fuck up and get fucked over TheWalkingMouth: That doesn’t mean you will everytime TheWalkingMouth: And it certainly doesn’t mean it's the end

Cowboy:

Cowboy:

Cowboy:

[...Cowboy is typing…]

---

@daflangstlairde

@ace-anx

@cataclysm-al

[emikvs]

﹤𝙽𝙰𝙽𝙰 𝙺𝙾𝙼𝙰𝚃𝚂𝚄, 𝚂𝙷𝙴 / 𝙷𝙴𝚁, 𝙲𝙸𝚂 𝙵𝙴𝙼𝙰𝙻𝙴﹥; * - hello EMIKO " EMI " SATO. long time no see. i know a lot about you. like how you're TWENTY ONE, how you're a CLASSICS major,  and in fact.. how you LIE AND TELL EVERYONE YOU STUDIED ABROAD FOR A YEAR WHEN YOU WERE ACTUALLY IN REHAB. would be a shame if it got out, wouldn't it ? so let's play a game. 𝚃𝚁𝚄𝚃𝙷 𝙾𝚁 𝙳𝙰𝚁𝙴 ?

*itzy vc* hey hey hey ! SDBJWBDJW what’s up......its xan aha ... this is gonna be the biggest mess ever ...just winging it as i go. and u know what ? thats on on brand babey ! lets get it ...TW: drug use/mention, accidents/hospitalization ( just in case)

backstory

virginia born and raised babey ! she’s the youngest of five siblings and ...it shows. SJDBJWBDJW growing up would have been pretty chaotic had it not been for the fact that her dad was a pretty well-respected police officer in their town ! him & her mom were high school sweethearts which made no damn sense to emiko considering they’re still happily married...the concept just seems fake to her </3

while her parents had a lot of  mushy love for each other, when it came to their kids they opted to take a more emotionally distanced kind of parenting style bc they didnt wanna like spoil their kids or anything but.....it wasnt exactly the best plan ! emi and all her siblings just learned to be very good liars JDSBWBDJW as kids with strict parents do

being the youngest emi took a while to get into her rebellious phase. for a while she’d just watch her older siblings sneak out and party and do walks of shame and all that jazz...and while she was always down to help them get out of trouble none of them ever really trusted her ? since she was the baby they figured she’d be the most likely to snitch which just made her really ///: bc she wanted to be included so bad

flash forward to senior year of high school and finally emi’s like . okay fuck this it’s MY turn ! her dad had recently decided to get into politics with some encouragement from the police chief so he was busy with his career and her mom was busy helping him. it was the perfect time to do what she wanted since it was less likely she’d get caught

so she goes to this graduation party.....and it’s BAD like she gets fucked up & carried away so she calls her oldest sister ( who had come back into town for emi’s graduation ) to come pick her up & on the way to get emi from this house party, her sister ends up getting into an accident 

she didn’t die though JSBJDSBBWJDBWJDBJWDW just broke some stuff and ended up needing surgery ): and emi obviously got busted that night by her parents which ... wasnt pretty at all especially bc they low key blamed her for her sister’s accident which just made emi feel like pure shit babey ! 

visiting her sister in the hospital is what kinda sparked her fear of hospitals ! bc emi was like super guilty and paranoid that maybe her sister was gonna die or her surgery would go wrong and she’d essentially be at fault...it was just a lot of anxiety that turned into a genuine phobia of hospitals after that

but her sister made it she was okay and her dad used all the buzz and tragedy around his family to kinda boost his political career....which was ugly. her sister had been prescribed some pretty heavy pain killers for the pain & thats where things got.....messy

emi isnt sure when exactly it started but between the guilt she was harboring over her sister’s accident, the stress from her parents as her dad got further and further into virginia politics as well as college anxiety since she was about to start at the universoty of virginia.....she stole some oxy and thats what started what would be a very messy and tumultuous addiction  

as soon as she started college, emi felt as if some of the weight had been lifted. she was living away from her family for the first time and dorming so she promised herself she’d take these four years to grow and figure out who she is......except that didnt exactly happen. instead of exploring herself in a healthy way, emi was using drugs as a sort of escapism from her “old” self. she’s extremely smart and she loves her major, but her professors would often comment her papers had the energy of a “rambling and troubled mind”. by the time she was about to finish her sophomore year she was getting so high people would find her literally passed out in the dining hall. but no one was that worried bc for a good two years, she was a pretty high functioning addict. 

cue the summer after sophomore year when emi overdoses at a party. she woke up in a private hospital room with only her father sitting on the couch, the look on his face something she’ll never forget. while him and her mother knew exactly what happened to emi, they hadn’t told any of her siblings. or anyone at all, for that matter. instead her dad had informed the university emi would be taking a year off to privately study abroad and told emi that’s what she was going to tell people bc he’d just decided to run for mayor ! he essentially guilt-tripped her into thinking telling people the truth would be a selfish act, and one that would basically ruin the family reputation and make everyone really miserable JSDWDBWBDJW he also tells her she’s gonna be shipped off to rehab ! 

so she goes to rehab for a good seven months. everyone at school thinks she’s studying abroad in italy, and emi is literally just counting the days til she can go back home to her dorm bc she’s lonely !!! in rehab !!! and she gets that she should take it seriously but shes just so mad at her dad and herself and the world too ig ... just some good old fashioned angst ! but she finishes rehab and her dad got elected as mayor of her hometown in virginia and shes like good for u can i go back to school please JSBDWJDBJW and he says yes

so she’s back ! ready for the universe to give her a break.....ahaha.....

personality + tidbits

so emi......my baby......she’s a strange one. she’s that bitch that’s super nerdy but in the weirdest way like the stuff she’s into is so specific and just....generally stuff literally no one else would care about but to emi it’s like holy shit this is the coolest thing in the world JSBDJWBDJWBJD she knows a little about a lot so she has the tendency to come across as pretentious if you don’t know her outside of class when in reality she’s just read one too many random facts. also weird in the sense that she’s a STRONG believer in the paranormal and in aliens and in witchcraft and stuff like that as well as believing in things that seem “logical”. it can be confusing to people who view that stuff as silly that someone so smart would be into it. 

speaking of smart.....she’s a polygot which basically means she can speak a bunch of languages ! she’s self-taught, and since she’s a classics major some of her favorites to study include greek and latin ( dead language who ? ). she’s pretty chill about it though and if you wanted to learn she’d be the type that’s 100% down to teach you. she always learns the curse words first just you know....for the fun of it ! she probably has very specific “pet names” for everyone in the friend group in random languages 

anyway she’s also stupid. ASDJWBDWBJDBWJDWJD i mean like in the way that she makes the most .... impulsive decisions that usually have negative consequences. she’s the type to convince herself she knows exactly what she’s then come up with the worst plan you have ever heard in your life. an example of a dumb decision emi has made ? your girl ate a pot brownie the day after she got back in her dorm after rehab bc she convinced herself it was a good way to de-stress. some other dumb decisions include various drunk tattoos ( which thankfully haven’t been too bad save for the words eat me tattooed in small font on her ass ). also owns a stick & poke gun so she’s for sure tried to tattoo friends while intoxicated despite.....not being a tattoo artist ... she’s not even an art student .... SJBDJWBDJW....but she’s very very good at convincing people to join in on her dumb antics so be weary

big on photography !!! she loves taking pictures. always that one friend who reminds you to document the moment and you get annoyed but then when you want to post a picture on insta you’re thankful she was there <3 she has the energy of like .... the dad friend when you need support JSDBWBDJWBDJW she tries to be caring but it just turns into like ... emi high off her ass putting her hand on your shoulder and being like “you know fuck it man you’re amazing” not that good at the emotional stuff like she really wants to be but she legit doesn’t know how.......kinda accidentally turned into an emo kid bc she channels her feelings though some kick ass playlists and the notes app in her iphone instead of talking to people JSBDJWBJDBWJDBJ 

she’s high key struggling but she’s the type to be like no its fine this is fine life is a ride babey better hold on ! tries to keep things flirty and fresh 99% of the time but then you’ll witness the rare emi breakdown which.....involves a whole lot of tweets that will all be deleted within 24 hours and emi will in fact deny they ever existed

really a laid-back girl but the chaotic energy is there folks......she can also very easily get into her youngest child complex if she’s upset which just involves emi being a pain in the ass and everyone having to deal with it JSBDWBDJWBDJWBDJW  she likes to make it hard to say no to her.....not exactly manipulative but sometimes she can get close /: not listed in her fears but she is in fact scared of genuine love and affection ! it’s like she craves it so much she’s terrified abt what will happen if she ever gets it.......so she makes sure she’s never in danger of that by never getting into anything serious.....but then at night shes like damn . kinda want a freak to hold my hand rn and tell me they love me ... JSDBWBDJWBDJWBJDWJDW it’s all fun and games.............

ok thats it im done rambling.................this is so long..............and for what !!!!! i made her more of a clown than i intended but thats okay (: JSDBJWBDWJDBWJ emi might hate clowns but im embracing them ! 

[plutonicn]

it’s nine ur second favorite sagittarius & i’m finally writing this.. my mind. here is a hopefully coherent intro to my two muses, who i lazily made polar opposites bc my skills can’t compete !! 

tw: death, drugs, illness, alcoholism, violence, uh idk aajdkf i’m so sorry if i missed something !! make a callout post and @ me in it if i did !! i’m dumb !!

JAEHWAN SIN (CAPTAIN HOOK), 23, JOLLY ROGERS

history

so jaehwan was born in daejeon, sk (uh so ..is this a krp or??). he and his parents and siblings moved to england when he was about four or so and he was a pretty average kid??? i mean he’s a scorpio so as normal as a scorpio CAN be. 

when he was twelve he unfortunately lost mom to illness, and later on his dad turned to alcohol and just kinda... skipped out and jaehwan honestly doesn’t know whether or not he’s still alive adfjksldf YIKES

they went to live with their aunt and uncle but it wasn’t rainbows and sunshine from there on out, they were strict and basically it was just about making sure they had a roof over their heads and that they were fed.

jaehwan had different ideas as he wanted to always make sure his siblings were taken care of which is what ultimately led him in to his current lifestyle. he was quick and clever and could get away with a lot so once he got into the bad stuff.. he got really good at it akdjfd

he basically finessed his way up the ranks as it’s really easy for him to outsmart people and learn what makes them tick !!

i basically ripped off the entire character of the main peaky blinders guy come and sue me netflix !!

personality

so i kinda alluded to him being smart but he really is intelligent !! (rip to me having to write a smart character when i’m a dumbass). had he used his powers for good and not evil he could’ve accomplished a lot ?? oh well get that bread jaehwan. very resourceful, always wants to be one step ahead and can’t stand it if he isn’t

stoic.. is like the perfect adjective for him.. he’s very calm on the surface and seems like nothing ever gets to him and that’s the way he wants it

ruthless bitch !! but still has a moral code that he follows very strictly ???

mostly pretty quiet and keeps to himself. no one ever truly has the full picture with him and that’s def how he prefers it

does not like to b disrespected !! he has a respect kink 

doesn’t do anything halfheartedly he’s all or nothing all the time ajsdlj

doesn’t dwell on things at all he likes 2 keep it pushin

sees everything he does as simply a job & a necessity and nothing more than that.

will do whatever he needs to do even if he doesn’t sleep bc of it aajdfs

JISOO ISIDORE MOON (NEPTUNE), 24, MERMAIDS

history

jisoo was born in london, england.

he was basically born into foster care. his mom was sixteen when she had him and her parents were not ok with that even tho they were wealthy and could easily care for them both. she couldn’t really support herself and a kid (u know how much them little crying hoes COST) so she.............left him on the doorstep of a church

how ironic considering he’s a Big Phat Sin in these streets

growing up jisoo was (and still is) obsessed with the life of luxury. his goal in life was to always reach a certain level of affluence and that’s it.

joining the mermaids seemed to be the only route that made sense to him ig, bc he felt he could best achieve his dreams that way 

personality

he comes across as a very handsome, charming gentleman on the surface

fake deep

drama queen

lives in lalaland. he just wants everything to be beautiful and perfect all the time, he lives in a fantasy world

not necessarily image obsessed but wants everyone to think his life is perfect bc it helps him to believe that life is perfect

he’s the only one that can have feelings bc if anyone else expresses them there’s an emergency suddenly and he’s gotta go

Abandonment Issues

loves the arts, big boujee hoe

self-absorbed and knows it, but wants other people to always think very highly of him so he does well to hide it

‘thank you for your advice, but i’m not going to take it’

BIG scaredy cat, doesn’t like violence, wants 2 stay inside the lagoon and drink and b fancy

a swindling hoe who will snatch ur watch & ur wallet

also just a regular hoe too :/

[ourfinalheaven]

I received a message from someone asking why I enjoy Cloti, but they wished to remain “anon”. 

I always feel like this question chokes me up because I’m not talented in expressing myself nor my emotions to others, but I figured I’d give it a try... 

For me, Cloud and Tifa is realistic to what couples go through where as other FF couples are, well, fantasy like. They’re easy, they’re in the “honeymoon phase” and they really don’t go through realistic to where it’s relate-able. Which don’t get me, it’s totally fine and isn’t that the point of shipping; to enjoy something you can’t really have in reality? 

Cloud’s story is such a normal one. I mean really c’mon? Young boy wants to impress the popular girl who he just so happens to have a crush on, but she’s always surrounded by boys who are more confident than he is? Then one day,he musters up some balls to call her out at night only to make an unexpected promise to help her if she’s in need? Totally relate able for a lot of guys in their early years. 

Tifa, like any girl would, reads the paper everyday to see if Cloud is in SOLDIER, and waits for his return. When word gets out there are people from SOLDIER coming to town, Tifa gets giddy to see Cloud, but only to be disappointed when he doesn’t show- or so she thinks. 

He hides his face in shame of not keeping his word and avoids her because of it. Little does Cloud know, at this point, all Tifa wants is to see Cloud. Things take turn for the worst, and a man Cloud looks up to destroys his town, kills his mother, hurts his best friend, and gravely injures the girl he likes.  All the anger Cloud felt in his childhood come rushing over him like a wave, and he himself is able to manage to take on this “great hero”, but pays a high price... he gets taken by Hojo to be a lab rat along with Zack. 

Five years later, Zack and him bust out of the Shinra Mansion basement only to lose Zack in the process, fighting the hang over of his mako poisoning he some how makes it to a train station in Midgar only to be found by Tifa. At this point, they’re both shocked they’ve crossed paths AGAIN. Talk about ironic or as some would say it was “fate”.  When Cloud is finally coherent, he asks Tifa for a job to make a living and tells her of stories that don’t quite make sense. Finally, when they reach Tifa’s bar Cloud realizes once again Tifa surrounded by men who clearly are fond of Tifa. 

For me personally, I feel like this is why Cloud is so “moody” in the beginning of the game. Once again, he has to fight for Tifa’s attention and that he doesn’t fit in with the new group she has. It’s almost like he’s resentful, which I find interesting tbh, anybody would. I’m sure we’ve all been there. We want undivided attention from our crush; anything to search for clues they just may like us back... 

Anyways,  one mission goes extremely south  and I find the dialogue between Cloud and Tifa interesting before he falls into Aerith’s church.  There’s a part of the dialogue that isn’t optional right before he falls (from my memory, been awhile since I played)

Barret It's gonna blow! Let's go, Tifa!

Tifa Barret! Can't you do something?

Barret Not a damn thing.

Tifa Cloud! Please don't die! You can't die! There's still so much I want to tell you!

Cloud ******I know, Tifa......*******

That right there signals to me there was something brewing between them that they both recognized. Cloud, not distracted by personal resentment of the past, was himself in that moment.  And like always, they’re interrupted.  Once again, something always getting in the way of them finally confessing their feelings.

When Cloud falls on Aerith’s flowerbed, there’s something I find interesting. He remembers his fall from Mt. Nibel. You know where the part he follows Tifa and the bridge snaps as a child?  That fall brings him back to that time. I mean it’s nothing to telling but it’s something I’ve made note of. 

Once Cloud and Aerith get of her church and he brings her back home safely, he is desperate to get back to Tifa’s bar. I think it’s cute you can call Tifa your “girl...friend”, I don’t think anyone else in the game has that option, so there’s like this build up between Cloud and Tifa that makes you want to know more. 

When Cloud does finally get to meet back up with Tifa, he went through a slew of embarrassing events to dress up like a woman just to make sure she was alright. Cloud is somewhat macho, so for him to slap a dress on, makeup, and a wig with some girly panties is truly telling to how much he cares for Tifa and would do anything to make sure she is alright.  

After several events of them leaving Midgar, the end of Cloud’s story is interesting. Tifa asks Cloud how badly she was hurt, and Cloud replies with he thought Tifa was a goner, but unprovoked he mentions how he was sadden by that thought. 

Now, let me fast forward to after Aerith death and their at the Northern Crater. Cloud mentions to Tifa that he hopes she gets to meet the “real” Cloud. It’s like Nojima wanted to insinuate that this Cloud we’re seeing a fake; not real. We end up getting separated from Cloud, but we find him Mideel where Cloud’s mental state is completely broken, and Tifa decides she’s going to watch over him thus leaving the group... 

When we finally get to the lifestream, that’s where we learn Cloud did what he did for Tifa. He likes Tifa and just wanted her to notice him. Cloud then find outs Tifa read the newspaper everyday searching for his name in it. Some people may think that’s “shallow” of Tifa but I don’t think so. She was just a girl, and at that age we get caught up in things like that.   

Cloud and Tifa finally realize Cloud was there and he saved Tifa, Cloud is able to regain his trueself thanks to Tifa.  Now what is interesting is Cloud, in the true memory, says to Seph  “ Mom... Tifa...... my town... give it back...” he never said that in his flash back at Kalm.  Nojima’s writing for the script references back the “hope you get to meet the real cloud” quote and ofc when he says this is goodbye, until meet again line, “ Yeah...... Tifa...... We finally...... meet again......” This lets us know, the Cloud we knew before, wasn’t 100% Cloud which is so, idk, it’s so realistic bc people in real life will take parts of other people’s personality and morph them into one to great “their” personality. 

 Alrighty, so with the highwind scene, I find it super classic how Square did a romantic setting with Cloud and Tifa before the final battle. You know how you hear about soldiers making love to their wives before their deployed or in movies the hero makes love to his girl before he fights the villain? I feel like thats what Square did. People will fight about how this HW scene is canon, but I don’t think it matters. The Highwind scene is the Highwind scene, Cloud and Tifa spend the night together. Period. They share a kiss/have sex/ play a card game w/e you want to imagine, they spent a romantic night under the stars before the went to fight Seph. To be honest, it was the perfect night for them to come clean. What would they have to lose? They thought they were gonna die anyways.  

They beat seph, yay game over, woot now we have COT and ACC, which really gives the realness. 

I really can see how cloti struggled with their relationship because the events they went through was awful. They’re still mourning over their fallen comrade: Aerith. Cloud is feeling guilty for their deaths. In what reality would this make for the most perfect relationship? It doesn’t, but I feel given the hints and body language cloti is forming a romantic relationship, which is hard for them. You have two people who have pent up emotions from the OG events. 

They seem to be going through their pain together but dont if that makes sense? Best way I can describe it is Tifa takes Denzel coming to the bar as Aerith showing her to  move on, but Cloud takes it as Aerith showing Cloud by raising Denzel, he can make up for his mistakes. Eventually after COT, Cloud and Tifa DO end up happy together with the children. 

However, Cloud gets geostigma and he thinks this is the planet’s way of “punishing him” so he runs off, abandoning everyone at this point, and lives in hiding.   Eventually, Tifa does find where Cloud is staying at and finally getting Cloud to realize it’s time he lets go of the past. Some people will say, “Oh Tifa’s a “bitch” for doing that, but you know what? No, she’s not. You don’t coddle your partner for forever. In relationships, there’s times you have to give your partner a reality check. It’s called tough love. There’s a time where you tell your partner it’s time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on. You also don’t let your partner cut off everyone because he/she is too scared to ask for help or see they have people who dearly love him.  

A lot of people who have never had a serious relationship do not realize that there’s times you hate your partner, you don’t know if you’re truly in love with this person anymore, you don’t open up to them, and you just think you’re better off without them. And that’s cloti in acc. They’re figuring it out. They’re pissy, they’re hurt, they’re tired, but you know what...they worked through it. They didn’t just bail and say “see ya later.”, Tifa waited for Cloud to forgive himself, and when he did look where he went? Back to tifa and the children. 

I honestly think that’s why people struggle with shipping cloti is they think or maybe don’t understand when you love someone, they annoy you, make you mad, make you cry, and sometimes don’t understand you, but it’s loving you through those bad times that make you stronger. And maybe that’s why it’s easier to ship other couples is because reality is uncomfortable and we are raised to think everything is rainbow and butterflies x.x 

Phew, this was long >.<  So yeah, TL;DR I love cloti bc they’re real and not your typical FF couple, like Cecil x Rosa or Squall x Rinoa where you don’t see the “Realness”. I feel like Cloti is that couple that isn’t on social media showing pictures of how “happy” they are when in reality they’re miserable, but the couple who keeps their relationship to themselves bc they don’t need to showcase it >.<

[babygirlgiles]

personal life rant below the cut, I guess. tw: abuse, trauma

Wow, I just??? Have so many??? Things??? Going on???

Like I’m actually sitting in bed with Chopin nocturnes on the bluetooth speaker on the brink of tears because my life has been the perfect shitstorm of everything all at once. And it would be fine?? If it wasn’t??? For my mother???

For context, in the next ten days I have four papers and three job applications due. Normally, that would be stressful and I’d be beyond burnt out by the end but yeah, it’d be manageable, I did basically the same thing earlier in the semester so I’m not too concerned. I cut my family out of my life completely about a month ago but let’s be real I probably hadn’t talked to anyone in my family for about a month before that. It’s been hard but tbh at the same time it’s bizarrely easy to bury my guilt prob because the joy and relief at not having to interact with people who abused me throughout my whole childhood, who actually had no business raising not just me but multiple children (not just bc shitty abusive people but??? poverty??? like abject poverty that).

(Let’s not all forget my therapist said last session that she was able to get in contact with the three different trauma therapy programs that rejected me and they all said it was because I was actually too traumatized. Like that shit is embedded too deep for any kind of short term program, no matter how intensive. Literally what kinda fuckin PTSD have you gotta give someone to where a program run by some place called The Victims of Crime Association is like nah)

ANYWAY. My mom used my school email (my whole ass school email that she probably had from years ago but whatever) to email me and be like “Why are you cutting me out of your life? Can you at least give me an explanation? Don’t you at least owe me that?” And like??? No. I don’t owe you anything. And I moved on.

But that night (Sunday) I had fucking rough nightmares and I mean I woke up screaming and then cried for a while and just decided to stay up until my alarm. Just reliving the actual physical pain of being beat up constantly, plus the constant fear and instability like... even writing this right now my breath got short and I feel anxious. And my dream brother said that things had only gotten worse since I’d left and that my father had broken his jaw-- which, like, I am guilt-ridden now.

Also I thought I was going to die at work today like I thought my heart was going to give out from the sheer horribleness of it all. Okay, so I’m in a one-on-one with my boss (I hate this person with an actual fiery passion, btw, and have for a while so that’s nothing new).They don’t know details but they know that I’m involved in some kind of situation that involves me being under school and police protection. For example, any information about me is on lock down. Like, a fellow student or even a professor can’t look up my school email and if they were to, for example, call the Registrar and ask, I’m immediately alerted.

Because of the actual literal protection I am under from the actual, literal government, my case manager here suggested “hey, maybe having a Facebook isn’t the best idea?” and it makes sense bc even though I never use it, even if I like accidentally check-in somewhere yeah that’s fuel to the fire. So I did what the school administration did and deleted my Facebook. So flash forward actual, literal WEEKS and I ask my boss a question. “Check the Facebook,” they say, with Facebook clearly open on their desktop (mind you this is the same boss who was two hours late to a meeting yesterday that was ultimately rescheduled to today that they were 45 minutes late to AGAIN). I say I no longer have Facebook. This does not come up again for actual WEEKS.

Flash forward weeks AGAIN. Today in my one-on-one this boss tells me I should really make a new Facebook so I can do work with it. I explain (for the 100000th time) that I cannot bc LITERAL POLICE PROTECTION. They tell me to use a fake name and use the work logo for the profile picture and like, yeah, sure, guess I could. I tell this boss that it would actually make me so uncomfortable though because, even though I know it’s safe, it would really fuck with my paranoia.

But this self proclaimed radical queer tells me that it’s an unfair distribution of labor if I don’t spend the 3 minutes making my own Facebook events and that I should then give it a try. Because fuck my peace of mind I guess. Anyway, later in the meeting they say that we should come together as a staff to help me the event I just created and organized (not with any of the space reservations or people coordinating mind you, but with the DECORATING) because it would be a fair way to distribute the labor. But it’s too much to ask for someone to make two Facebook events for me so I can keep the small thread of my sanity? I have never understood true anger until that moment. But whatever, I guess.

So yeah, I’ve felt on edge basically since. Here are a multitude of examples:

Had more nightmares last night and this morning when I was walking down the hall to the bathroom I was so scared I actually had to remind myself that I was safe over and over.

Bad OCD habits cropping back up (oh my fucking god if only I could tell you how dirty my hands have felt for absolutely 0 reason the past few days). 

Been snippy and irritable to people around me. I got drunk for the first time in... months the other night.

When a girl said something stupid in class today (and it was actually asinine, she said that white flight was “a return to community values” like okay, sweaty) I couldn’t stop myself from actively grimacing and I don’t normally have this much of an issue not being an ass.

When someone said “have a good day to me this morning”, I wanted to snap back for no good reason (when I looked a little further into this thought I turned up “I don’t deserve happiness” as the reason which is wild like classic 2011 Elliot bullshit.

But let’s be real. Okay, sure, maybe these are some small examples of little fuck ups triggered by weird circumstances but normally this shit doesn’t affect me at all. I go days without thinking about it lately, especially not having contact with these people. It’s just been the perfect shit storm of shitty papers plus shitty job plus shitty mother.

I think on the whole though I’m really happy. Like, I’ve been able to recover from a lot and create a full and meaningful life for myself. I take care of myself in a multitude of ways. I’m just gonna list some here so I can like finish this 20 page venting essay no one will read and then feel better.

I go to the gym and then exercise in healthy ways

And then after exercising in non-maladaptive ways, I eat meals to replenish

I go to sleep at a reasonable hour every night so I can go to the gym and then have a good day

I light all the candles in my room so it smells good. I also keep my room tidy because it makes me feel good

I listen to soothing music

I am studying a subject that I love and having thoughtful conversations with my professors and fellow students on the material and honestly it’s the best

I work with two researchers and not only do I #makemoney, I get to look into super interesting stuff

Also I’m loved by my friends and adults in my life so that’s pretty lit

Top surgery is basically right around the corner

So it my name/gender marker change

T is going great!!

I shower everyday which may seem like a small thing but that’s some #NewYearNewElliot shit

I take my meds (what a concept)

I don’t drink myself into a coma four nights a week anymore like wow??? Sobriety???

I’m going to finish with a degree I want, surrounded by people who love me, very soon and that’s 10/10

Anyway, this will pass and it’ll be fine so yeah.

[lifeofet]

02.25.17

This week has been a pretty decent one lemme tell you. I'm finally almost completely caught up with all the work I missed from surgery, I just have to finish the stuff from psych. Tuesday night we (kab and I) went down to Lisle to watch the benedictine game. But first we went and surprised Kara which was awesome. They were both so happy it was so good. They deserved it, i couldn't stand not seeing judy or kab or meg or dik for that long, it would be awful, so i'm really glad they finally got to see each other. I was awkward as usual lol. Then we went to the Benedictine game, which was funny but sad because they ended up losing by one in the end which ended their season. The girl who fouled at the end to let them shoot felt terrible after the game but she still came up and introduced herself to me, which i have serious respect for. Even though Benedictine lost, Randolph won!! That sent them to the ODAC banquet and they got to play in salem, which i hope happens again next year once i'm there. After the Benedictine game we went back to visit kara again before we came back to lovely GLake. Wednesday and Thursday nothing really happened. Friday was a little stressful but it ended up being a lot of fun. So Kemonti asked me to hang out and of course i was like yeah! and got alllllll excited hahah and mom and dad were like well we have to meet this boy and it has to be tonight and blah blah blah and so it turns out he had babysitting and mom and dad went out. So at like 7:30ish i was like screw this i'm not just gonna sit around so i went driving a little bit and went over to kabs house to wait until kemonti told me he was finished babysitting (which wasn't until some ridiculously late time). so he didn't meet my parents, and i hung out at kabs all night. I hung out with all the bullmans and watched some shows, and then everyone went to bed so me and kab just hung out and watched ellen and what not, I ended up falling asleep on her because in all honesty i was pretty tired so yeah i ended up passing out lmaoo. But we had some good laughs and it was nice just hanging out and doing nothing as it usually is with her. I could sit and doing nothing with her all night and it would be a fantastic time regardless. So then saturday rolls around and i end up not waking up until 12:30 because i'm dumb and took nyquil before i went to bed when i got home from kabs because i was kinda sick and i didn't wanna cough all night and i wanted some really good sleep, which i for sure got. So then me and mom went over college stuff and it was nice like being able to talk to her about next year and her really being supportive without like the yelling, which i know is her way of trying to be supportive but it just doesn't come out right. I know she's trying her best she's done a lot for me it just doesn't always come out in the best way. So then i got ready to go get kemonti, which by the way when i first pick him up he was like "come here i owe you" and we had our first kissssss it was just a couple pecks but it was still nice, so then we headed over to rileys to see everyone before the gala (but to also show kemonti off a little because i got a good one) and everyone was like oooooh he's a cutie ev you guys look good together!! And it was nice :))) I got pictures with my friends and got to see how good they all looked it was nice. And then me and kemonti weren't really hungry, but he was like "i'm sorry i was really trying to figure something out for us to do, i was thinking the whole time we were in the house, where should i take her where should we go, but i couldn't come up with anything good" and he like genuinely cared which was really nice, but anywho we were like we can't go back to my house and we couldn't go back to his, so we went to go get gas first to get his strawberry banana smoothie which they didn't have (he was so excited it was cute), and then we went over to kabs house of course HAHAHA. So he met the bullmans and they were super nice and such good hosts, and we messed around all night we like had a snowball fight with the fake ones kab has, and then we played rock band and just talked all night, and yeah maybe not the typical date night, but he's so good with meeting people and he's so genuine. So we ended up leaving kabs at like 10ish just about, and he was telling me on the way home that we could be doing anything and it would be fun because we were together and he always has fun with me, which idk how i literally found the perfect man what. Wait hold on lemme back up for a second, he was showing off his tattoos and oh my god he like half took off his shirt to show us the ones on his back and i was like UGH HIS BODY IS SO GOOD TOO OML i can't handle it i'm sure kab saw my face and how i was looking at him it was bad. one more thing, he also gets along with kab so well like when he can hang with your friends it's perfect i got to hang out with two people i very much enjoy all at once and it was so nice. okay anywho back to the car ride to his house, so we're just talking and we get there and i pull over so he can get out and what not and he's like okay gimme a hug and of course i did (he smelled really good btw) and then he kinda like loosened his grip a little bit to let me back up and he's like come here and we started kissing and it was just a few pecks again at first, but then we started making out a little bit and oh god is he a good kisser, i would've kissed him for an hour if i could it was slow and so good AH what the heckkkkkk. damn it was a good first little touch of what's to come. It's good taking it slow it just helps build up the like anticipation. Anyways so then afterwards i was like oh well the gala is over now let's see what everyone is doing and so people went over to julie's bc she was having a thing there and it was like super low key, but like there was booze lol and it was kinda lame while i was there, so i just hung out with kaitlin and we talked and chilled which was nice seeing everyone after the dance they seemed like they had a good time. and then i came home and told a half awake mom everything, and then i was so tired i ended up passing out before i got to change, and then woke up at like 1 to go use the bathroom and change and proceeded to wake my parents up so they came to bed. and so yeah that was my night, definitely a good one. Hope you enjoy this lil update of my life. Love, goodnight.