#then I was struck by thoughts of the ‘not my type’ thing

[sleepybluecyclops]

SoN trio + reyna

[xcziel]

weird mile thought that just occurred to me: so mile has said he'd been asked to take other bl roles before right? and never really expressed any hesitation about taking one - like he was confident that it'd be his choice even though he wasn't a known actor, hadn't ever had an actual acting role before? and i was wondering at like this casual assumption that he'd be able to do a role, like he was almost deigning to take it rather than being insecure or worried about being good enough. and while i realize some of that is just mile (and the life experience of being rich and good-looking lol) i think some of it probably would also have been to do with the kinds of things he'd been offered?

i was thinking: someone described mile as kind of like a thai kim kardashian because he previously was sort of famous for being basically a rich socialite-type. and one thing you learn about thai bl shows if you pay even a little attention is that they love a cameo guest role from other bl actors or cps. there are always these little moments where some random encounter with a walk-on background character in a bl show seems to be dragged out a bit and given a confusing amount of time and significance where later you'll see everyone going crazy in the chat "omg it was so&so from last year's drama! they were the couple at the fashion show!!!" etc etc.

so how likely is it that the "roles" mile was offered were of that kind - attempts to take advantage of his celebrity and followers to bump the viewership of a bl drama with a cameo turn by "extremely handsome restaurant patron mile" or "extremely handsome businessman mile " or maybe even "extremely handsome suave beach-goer mile"?

it just seems very likely, considering how celebrity can function and also mile's kind of supreme confidence about picking and choosing from among offers.

but what i love, and what i realized might have been a little bit of an "f* you" on mile's part for the implied assumption that he maybe couldn't pull off a real role, is that he decided to go in and actually audition for kinnporsche when he heard about it, not for some kind of gravy star cameo, but for the full leading role, when he hadn't acted before.

like we all laugh that he heard it was based on himself and saw a chance that apo might be involved and jumped at it, but seriously. seriously, think: if kim kardashian one day just decided to audition for a genuine movie/tv role in idk succession or something - not a gimmick part, not a walk-on as "herself" - what would the reaction be??

do you think most celebrities could handle a full lead role like that? just ... decide to do it, and then not only pull it off, but do a brilliant job?

just, with all the sort of interpersonal stuff with daemi that's been sort of an avoided discussion and the way mile has said he'd read yok's work before, i'm speculating that going for a much bigger and more demanding role than maybe what he'd been offered before was a way for mile to make a kind of statement of his own, staking his own worth as an actor not just some 'pretty face with nice tits' (which is kind of how i feel like sometimes the whole cast got treated by the writers)

and that fills me anew with a kind of gleeful appreciation for his style and boldness.

[trashbatistrash]

,

[sugume]

YOUR BIGGEST FAN — GETO SUGURU

✧･. on vacation with your family, you discover that your biggest fan may not be a mystery after fall.

( TW ) f!reader. camgirl!reader. stepbrother!Geto (in a plot device way, no nii-chan and stuff.) unprotected sex. cream pie. phone sex. squirting. fingering. mutual masturbation. cunnilingus. deception. mentions of bullying. misunderstandings. hurt/comfort. explicit content.  

word count - > 6.6k

authors note. can you see I wasn’t creative with the username? I have a love-hate relationship with this fic because I feel like it goes from 0 to 100 real quick lmfao. This is heavily inspired by the book Eyes on Me! 

“I bet you look handsome.” You smile at the black screen with the default profile picture floating in the middle. 

‘Nah.’ User @Sssman72  types into the chat the takes up the left half of your computer. 

“Stop! Don’t say think bad things about yourself,” You laugh, making sure your tits jiggle in the flimsy red lingerie you're wearing. “I know your handsome baby.” You reassure your favorite client. The man who alone gives you 50% of your income. He’s the one who bought you this pretty lingerie set you're wearing.  

‘You look tired babydoll...how was today?’ He types. 

“I’m fine, I promise, just had a long day, was on a few other private chats with some other customers the entire day.” You confess. In all honesty after this call you were planning to pass out and try to get a few hours of sleep before you had to fly out to your family's vacation home. Today on your live stream, you told your followers you were going on vacation for the next two weeks and wouldn't be online. You didn't plan to get on a call with @Sssman72 but he had texted you as you were getting ready to go to bed that he had a bad day and wanted to see you. Before you had a chance to protest, he spent you 500 and said it would only be 30 minutes. You gave in because first he was your biggest supporter and you wanted to be there for him in some way with all the money and gifts, he sends you and second, you didn’t mind chatting with him, you thought he was the sweetest and you struck lucky the day he joined one of your lives.  

‘I’ll let you go then, I want you to get some rest before your flight, sorry for keeping you up beautiful just needed to vent about my ass job.’ 

“I’m always here for you handsome, I'll make sure to send you those pictures you requested through the week.” 

‘Make sure you enjoy your break babydoll, don’t gotta worry about me. Goodnight.’ 

You say your goodbyes and end up falling asleep in the lingerie bought you as soon as you shut your laptop. 

— 

“How’s college y/n?” Your stepfather asks when you slide into the back seat of the car. Your mother fitting the last of your luggage into the trunk.  

“it’s fine, some of my classes are difficult but nothing I can't manage.” You answer as you buckle in. 

“Oh yeah? Thats good. You mom tells me you started a job a few months ago, how's that working out for you?”  

You tense under the small blanket you’ve thrown over yourself. 

“u-uhm yeah its good—yeah it’s been fun.” 

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I don't remember what you mother told me you did again.” He chuckles. 

“Uhm—I'm a bartender, m-my friend works there and got me a position.” You tell him the lie you've rehearsed hundreds of times. You start to sweat under the blanket. Did he buy it? What if he and your mom found out what you did? Are they planning to ambush you when you get to the house? They're going to make you drop out and chain you up in the basement when they find out. You throw the blanket off, suddenly too hot and alert. Guess that nap you were planning on taking during the drive wasn’t happening. 

“Oh, that’s fun sweetheart, I remember I bartended awhile when I was in college, got fired for stealing the alcohol though,” He laughs at the memory before turning to look at you. “You wouldn’t do that though, you’re a good girl.” 

You nod, thankful that your mom decided now to take your stepdad's attention away and get in the car. 

“Alrighty were good to!” She cheers. Your stepdad turns back around in his seat before starting the car. 

“Finally, thought we were going to get a fine parked here another minute.” 

“Oh, shut up! Y/n are you excited to go back to the vacation house? You haven’t been in years!” You mom asks as you guys pull out of the airport.  

“Yeah, I can’t wait to, I missed the hiking trails and the waterfalls. None of that in the big city.” You answer truthfully. You did miss the silence of the secluded house you vacationed at every summer since your mom married your stepdad. It was the company that you hated. As if your mom heard your thought, she says something that makes your heart drop. 

“Suguru feels the same way, we didn't even have to blackmail him to come! That boy...” 

“Suguru is coming?” You scream.  

“Coming? Sweetie, he’s already arrived this morning. I’m so excited were all together as a family again.” 

“Are you fucking serious mom? Turn the car around and bring me back to the airport!” You screech. You were not going to spend the next week with your bully of a stepbrother.  

“Y/n!” You mom gasps. 

“Sweetheart, he’s changed.” Your stepdad tells you as if that's going to make it better. 

“That’s what he wants you to think! He’s the worst human being on planet earth, please don’t make me spend the next few weeks with him, please mom,” you lean over the consul. “Please dad.” You pout at your stepfather. You know he gets weak whenever you call him dad. 

“Sweetheart...” 

“No! You aren’t sweet talking your way out of this, he’s changed. He isn't the same teenager with a chip on his shoulder, he’s matured. He even told me the reason he’s coming is to apologize and bond with you y/n.” 

“He’s lying mom! He doesn't care about me; I wouldn't be surprised if he told you that just so he could drown me in the lake. You guys own the land so nobody would find my body!” You start to tear up. You were going to jump out of the car if your parents didn't turn back around. Your stepbrother was your biggest tormentor since the day you met him. From picking on you at home to getting the girls to bully you at school. He made your life hell for four years. The day you left for college you screamed how much you hated him and told your parents that the four of you would only be in the same room again when you lay in a casket. 

“Oh, don’t cry sweetheart. Your mother is right, he’s changed, I wouldn’t have allowed him around you if he hadn’t. Give us a week and if you want to leave, I promise I'll drive you back to the airport and you’ll never have to see him again, please?” 

“No.” You cross your arms and look out the window despite knowing that they’ve won. You can’t jump out of the car now that you are on the highway, and you didn’t bring your own car to drive yourself back to the airport. 

“We’ll give you the master suite, the whole attic floor to yourself.” They bargain. You act like you’re thinking of accepting the offer. With the master suite taking up the entire third floor you could lock yourself up there and ignore Suguru. You could also film videos and even go live because the room is soundproof. You perk up at that. You could just spend your vacation on stream and chatting with @Sssman72. He’s somehow always free for you and told you that if you get bored you could call him. He’ll make up for your stepbrother’s awful behavior. 

“Fine, I’ll take the master suite.” 

— 

“Okay that's the last of your luggage, we’ll be having dinner in a few hours on the dock.” 

“Kay, thanks.”  You watch your stepdad shut the door. Once he does you release the tension in your shoulders. You lock the door before running to throw yourself onto the huge king bed. You sink down. You didn’t see Suguru when you arrived, you mom told you he was probably in town. You hope he stayed in town for the next two weeks.  

After laying it bed thinking about how much you hate Suguru with a passion you pull out your phone and open the porn app. You click on messages and open your chat with @Sssman72. 

‘Hey...I know I told you I was on vacation but I already wanna go home. You don't have to answer lol.’ You send. He immediately starts typing.  

‘Of course, I'll answer you babydoll. What’s wrong?’  Your face heats at the pet names. You wish you knew what he looked like, all he told you about himself was that he was in his twenties and worked for his father's company. You want to know more, what he looks like, what he sounds like. If the messages he sends make you sweat, you wonder what’ll happen if he spoke to them to you. In your head he’s a handsome bachelor who just so happened to find you and deem you worthy of his time and money but hell, he could be lying. He could be some old rich man in his eighties who likes young girls like all the rest of your viewers. The romantic part of you ignores that and is convinced he is who he says he is and that one day you’re going to meet in person and fall in and have a bunch of his babies. 

‘You know that stepbrother I told you about?’ 

“Mm, that asshole who bullied you?’ 

‘Yep, that asshole. Anyways I bet you won't guess who's here on vacation with me?’ 

‘Are you serious?’ 

‘Dead serious...my parents didn’t tell me until I was already trapped and now, I have to spend my vacation away with a man who hates me for no reason.’ 

‘Wow that’s crazy lol. Did your parents tell you why he chose to vacation with you if he doesn’t like you?’ 

‘Apparently he’s here to make amends...he’s probably here to kill me so he gets all the inheritance.’ 

‘Well, what if he’s really there to make amends baby?’ 

‘You should've heard the groan I just let out. I can’t believe you’re on his side babe. When I tell you that he too evil for that I mean it.’ 

‘Hey, you know I'm always on your side babydoll, I'm just giving you a man’s perspective on it. Maybe he realized he’s fucked up and he feels back so he wants to apologize for all the wrong he caused you’ 

‘Yea well from a women's perspective he’s an asshole who doesn’t care about anyone else but himself!’ 

‘Don’t say the baby...hypothetically what would he have to do to get you to forgive him?’ 

‘Hypothetically he's going to have to get on his knees and beg for my forgiveness every time he sees me until I deem, he's forgiven. And he’s also gonna have to send every dollar in his bank account to me AND be my slave for the rest of his life...hypothetically.’ 

‘Lol you never know babydoll, he just might be willing to do anything for your forgiveness. I know I would.’ 

‘That’s because you’re perfect and care about my feelings...now I'm gonna go get some sleep before having to eat with the devil. Pray he doesn’t poison me and I survive the night.’ 

— 

You sit at the dinning room table waiting for Suguru. Of course, he’s late, he doesn’t care about anyone's time but his. You say so to your parents. 

“Y/n stop being so harsh and give him a chance please.” You roll your eyes and go back to scrolling on social media.  

“Sorry I'm late.” You jump at the deep voice before whipping your head to the left where your stepbrother stands looking so...so different. 

“Suguru! No need to apologize! Come sit.” Your mother points to the empty seat opposite you. Suguru glances at you and smiles before walking to the seat. You gasp. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile at you or anyone else. Actually, you know he hasn’t smiled at anyone, he was know for being so stoic. You watch intensely as he pulls out the chair and sits. He looks like a different man, his hair is long, down past his shoulders, the black shirt he's wearing stretches around a huge chest. He looks like he spends half his day in the gym. And those eyes—those eyes that always had heavy eyebags and glared at everyone that looked his way, look at you with gentle look you can’t place. They even crease with the smile that he’s wearing. Your eyes widen, he has a fucking dimple. He looks like a gentleman, he looks handsome. You can't stop staring at his smile. 

“Y/n? You alright?” You Stepdad breaks through the haze you were in. You look at your parents and back to Suguru who all have concerned expressions on their faces.  You feel your entire body heat in embarrassment.  

‘Uhm—yea I'm fine.” You look at your parents, refusing to look back at that smile.  Suguru has different plans. 

“Hey y/n, it’s been a long time yeah?” Suguru says in that deep voice that has your heart beating faster.  Out the corner of your eye you watch as Suguru reaches over the food, holding his hand out. Does he really think you’re about to give him a damn handshake?  

...Are you seriously thinking about shaking that huge hand? No, you won’t. 

You purse your lips and cross your arms over your chest. You swear you see him glance down at your cleavage but the next second, he's holding eye contact. You blink and look away with a ‘hmm’. He lowers his hand.  

“Alright guys let's eat, okay?” You mom breaks the tension. Everyone grabs their share, and you eat in silence for a while, nobody brave enough to speak and you simmering with anger at Suguru. You throw glare at him every time you look up from your plate which happens more times than you’d admit.  

“You got something there.” Suguru points the sharp end of the fork at you. 

“What?” You ask. 

“There,” He grabs his napkin and starts to reach for you. You tense suddenly locked in place. Suguru brings the napkin to the corner of your mouth and wipes it. “There you go.” 

You stare at him like he's grown three heads. Maybe he’s dying and wants to make amends? Why else would he be treating you like this. Maybe someone took over his body? That has to be it. 

“Uh thanks?” You mummer, unsure what to say. 

“You're welcome little sis.” You choke on your spit. What the hell did he just call you!? He must be messing with you; you’re suddenly filled with rage. You glare at him, hoping he disintegrates with the sheer force of your stare. 

“You’ve grown up.” Suguru says after another blinking contest, you lost. 

“Yea, have you?” You snarl. He stops smiling. 

“I have,” he says seriously, setting his fork down. “I want to talk about—” 

“I don’t care.” 

“Please—” 

“No!” You slam your hand on the table, and he goes silent. You’re overcome with guilt before you remember that he bullied you for a year, that he told the entire school to bully you after he graduated. Fuck him. 

— 

You slam the door the door of your room speed walking to the bathroom. You strip your clothes before turning on the tub. You finally breathe when you settle into the scolding hot water. You needed to wash his gaze, his touch, off your body. The entire dinner after your conversation was awkward, your parents didn't really speak, and you refused to glance back up at Suguru who wouldn't stop staring.  

You hated him. You hated him. You—you can’t bring yourself to hate him. For some unknown reason you can’t bring yourself to hate him despite everything he's put you through. Why? You shake your head. You don’t want to think of Suguru while you're trying to relax. You phone dings. You pick up and a smile replaces your frown. @Sssman72. 

‘How are you babydoll, you alive?’ 

‘Yes, wish I wasn’t though.’ 

‘Why what happened during dinner?’ You sigh and send him voice message detailing everything that happened. 

‘Oh wow.’ 

‘I know.’ 

‘You gonna give him a chance to explain?’ 

‘I don’t know I don’t want to but also, I want to hear his explanation...can we call I really don't want to type all of this out?’  

‘Course, give me a second. I'll call you.’ You wait a few minutes before you hear the familiar ring. 

“Hi handsome.” you smile at the blank profile. Right now, you’d do anything to see him, to hear him comfort you, to be in his arms. He could be the ugliest man in the world, you wouldn’t care. 

‘HI beautiful. Talk to me.’ He types into the chat box. 

“I don't know. like I said I want to hear him out but also, I don't want to hear it because what it it’s bad, what if it doesn’t excuse it? But also, what if it does and I feel like shit for being mean back—it's just so stressful.” 

‘I know babydoll. I wish I could be there right now and hold you. I would do anything to take that hurt away. I'm sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.’ 

“Stop, don’t apologize you didn’t do anything. If anything, I should apologize for using you as a therapist when you paid to see me naked.” You laugh. 

‘Beautiful girl—I would rather pay to hear all your problems and be able to comfort you than see you naked again.’ 

“Wow you don’t want to see me naked, I'm hurt. Just kidding, thank you for saying that handsome.” You feel your heart skip a beat at his message. Maybe you can convince him to turn his camera on tonight. 

“I kinda wanna take my mind off everything right now.” You murmur into the phone before turning on your camera. You hold it above you and smile so he can see everything.  

‘So, fucking beautiful, prettiest girl in the world. You gonna give me a show?’ 

“hm,” You use your free hand to tap your chin. “Only if you do something for me.” 

‘And what is that?’ 

‘Can you turn your camera on? And before you say no, you don’ have to show your face—maybe you can just show your dick or something else. We can masturbate on the phone, please handsome please.” You whine giving him your best puppy face. You watch as the chat bubbles disappear and reappear. You’re about to back out but all the sudden you’re looking at a dim lit room and a huge cock between a big hand. Your eyes widen and the sight. 

"Y-you probably won’t be able to type and jack off at the same time” You suck in a breath. Please turn your audio on please... 

‘I’m gonna turn my audio on but I won’t talk, okay? Think you can get off on my moans babydoll?’  

You nod. 

‘Good girl now show me that pretty pussy, make it squirt for me.’ 

You lift yourself up to sit on the corner of the tub, propping one leg on tub and spreading the other that rests in the water. You flip the camera so your mystery man can watch you finger yourself. You hear him groan and spit onto his hand. 

You moan softly at the sound, teasing your entrance. You wish he was talking to through it, but you’ll settle for this for now. One day... 

“Mmm, wish you were the one fingering me right now,” You circle your clit before gliding your fingers out your cunt. 

“Wish you were here, holding me n' fucking me.” You curl your fingers into your g-spot and moan. You look back at your phone, watching your stranger play with the tip of his long cock. It looks so big compared to his hand, you know you’ll struggle to take it. Your pussy clenches around your small fingers that do close to nothing compared to your dildos at home.  

“Wan’ your cock in me so bad, it looks so big you’ll have to force me to take it, you’ll have to hold me down and make me take it.” You cry out. You watch as he squeezes his hand up and down his cock. It looks painful. He grunts louder. 

“M’gonna cum for you handsome, m’gonna give you what you want and make a mess,” You speed up your fingers to match how fast he slides his fist up and his cock. You moan louder, thankful that you got the suite and aren’t in the room next to your stepbrothers, how embarrassing it would be if he could hear you pleasuring yourself.  

You clench harder around your fingers. Your stranger starts to grunt and groan louder. You shiver at his deep voice on the edge of cumming. 

“Please please let me cum please! Can I come for you please?” You cry, your pussy starts to squelch, spurts of liquid coming out. 

“Yes, cum for me.” Your mystery man groans in an all too familiar voice but before you have time to think about it, you’re squirting, the grip on your phone loosening and falling into the water. 

“N-no!” 

— 

“Yes, this phone is done for, your mother and I are heading into town we can try to find a company that sells phone, but you know how small towns like this are.” You stepdad stares at your phone that’s been sitting in a container full of rice since last night.  

“Fuck, I need it for work! What am I going to do?” You look up at him in distress. 

“What do you need your phone for bartending?” He looks down at you incredulously. 

“My boss is sending me some important email and I didn't bring my computer.” You lie. 

“Well, you can use Suguru’s laptop, I saw him using it this morning in the sitting room. Think he left it there before he went on his run.” Your stepdad points down the hall as your mother rounds the corner.  

“Ready to go honey?” She asks your stepdad. 

“Coming! Use Suguru laptop to check your email, if we come back and you haven’t got the email you can use my phone. Bye! Have fun and be nice!” Your stepdad waves before following your mother. You wave back. 

 Of course, you had to use Suguru’s laptop. Maybe you can just log in, tell your stranger that you’re okay and that you won’t be able to contact him until you get a new phone and then delete the history before Suguru comes back from his run. It’ll only take a few minutes...you hope he doesn’t a password.  

You run to the sitting room, but you don’t see a laptop anywhere. Dammit, he always has to make things hard for you. You walk up the round staircase and down the hall until you're standing in front of Suguru’s room. You look around, as if Suguru's gonna pop up out of nowhere and attack you from going into his room. You shake the thought off and open his door. You stop and stare at the bed, you feel like you've seen that duvet. You chalk it up to a bunch of man having the same bedding before turning to scan the room for a laptop. You quickly spot the laptop on his desk and run to it. You sigh in relief when it opens to the last tab he had opened. Thank you Suguru for not caring about who gets into your shit. You click new tab and start to type in the name of the website you use before you freeze.  

You only need to type in three letters before the website popped up in top hits. You stop breathing. No... He couldn’t know what you do. Is that why he came here? Was he going to expose you to your parents? Was he acting nice to butter you up before crushing you? Your vision starts to blur. All boys watch porn, maybe he just happens to watch porn on the same website you film on. You can block your account from him so that he never finds you. You swallow before clicking the tab. You shakily move they pointer over to the search bar before you spot something in the left corner that makes you dizzy.  

Right where the username of the viewer is supposed to be is the username @Sssman72. Your heart stops and you feel wetness hit your hands. This can’t be real. You move to chat and cry out when you see your username. The last text he sent was asking what happened. No—this is a dream; you’re going to wake up and this is going to be a bad nightmare. You refuse to believe the man you’ve been slowly falling in love with over the last six months is your stepbrother, your bully. The man you confessed all your darkest secrets is the man who never showed you an ounce of kindness. Is this a part of his master plan? Is he going to blackmail you and hold all the nudes you’ve sent him and all the secrets you’ve told him over your head. You’re going to become his slave, doing whatever he wants of you until you die. You curl into yourself and cry harder at the thought.  

“Y/n? What are you do—” Suguru stops when he sees what's on the screen. “Let me explain please baby.” He reaches out to touch your shoulder. You flinch away from his touch.  

“D-don’t call me that,” You sob staring at him with such heartbreak in your eyes he wants to drop and beg for your forgiveness. “You-you, it was you the whole time.” Your voice breaks. 

Suguru nods slowly trying to reach out for you again. You take a few steps away. “Was this some masterplan to hold me under your thumb for the rest of my life!?” You scream at him. 

He’s grateful your parents went out of town; this would be an absolute shitshow if they were here.  

“No babydoll—” 

“I said don’t call me that you asshole! Stop pretending. I hate you Suguru! You win okay, you win!” You tell him before you run out of his room. He curses before running after you, you run up that stairs and into the suite but before you can shut the door Suguru shoves it open. You drop to your knees to pull your suitcase from under your bed. 

“Please listen to me y/n. I wasn’t faking—stop packing and let me explain.” Suguru pleads as he watches you throw your clothes into your suitcase. 

“Y/n, baby, please listen to me please” He grabs your arm, and you try to fight him, but he pulls you down onto the bed with him. He hugs you around the waist and you push in this chest trying to break free. His heart aches. He hates seeing you hurt, he hates that he was the one who made you cry like this. He hates that you only associate him with the version of himself that he created to stop anyone from seeing what he was truly feeling. He hates that you won’t accept the real version of him now that you know it was him. He holds you tighter as you scream and cry. He whispers sweet nothings as you whisper how much you hate him. At some point you stop fighting and wrapping your arms around his neck. You sniffle into his neck, and he rubs your backs and rocks you.  

“Why?” You ask hoarsely after all the anger leaves your body. Now you feel numb, like you're watching your life from a third perspective.   

“I never hated you, I never lied, and I never planned to blackmail you—I know you don’t believe me baby but everything I've ever told you on that app was real. Everything I feel for you is real.”   You pull your face out of his neck and stare up at him. You don’t believe him. 

“I have never hated you y/n. I swear it. I hated the fact that my father replaced my mother with yours not even a year after she died. Baby, I never fucking hated you. I was just a teenager who didn’t know how to express my emotions so I took them out of the person I knew I could hurt the most. It was bad I know; I feel like shit to this day. When I graduated and got away from my father, I realized how bad I was to you, and I got into therapy. I wanted to be better for myself, for you, for everyone around me. I didn’t know that the bullying continued when I left. I didn’t know how bad people had taken it until that day I came back home. When you told me off about it, I was so confused. I’m so fucking sorry. I want to reach out and apologize for everything and the day I planned to do it Satoru—my best friend, you remember him—well he sent me the link to your account and so I made an account and it all just spiralized out of control after that. I was too embarrassed to tell you it was me and then we started to form a connection, a real connection, and I didn’t want our conversations to end so—fuck I'm sorry. Everything I told you; I meant it. I fucking meant every word.”  

You sit there stunned, trying to comprehend everything he said. You never knew about his mother. You thought she had passed away long before your mom and his dad had met. But you remember when your stranger told you that. God, you remember when your not so mystery man told you about his family the seemed so familiar to yours. And he didn’t tell all those people to bully you after he left? Did he mean every word? Every word of affirmation he gave you. Those times when he told you that you were capable of being loved and that you were going to find someone who would love every part of you, the good and bad. Was that the same Suguru? You try to wrap your mind around the fact that the man you love is your stepbrother. 

“I know it’s a lot of information.” 

“It is.” 

“Do you believe me?” He looks at you with furrowed brows. You do. Despite everything you find yourself nodding. He sighs and you feel the tension release from his shoulders that your arms are wrapped around. You suddenly realize the position you two are in and feel your face heat. Your arms are wrapped around his neck and your legs are on either side of his thick thighs his cock, the cock that you saw last night, is right underneath you, if you lower yourself an inch, you’d be sitting on it.  

Suguru grips your waist with one hand, the other cupping the right side of your face. You look up at him and sniffle. He leans down until your foreheads are touching.  

“If you give me achance, I'll treat you like the queen you are. I’ll love you the way you’re meant to be loved. One chance is all I ask for.” He mummers rubbing your noses together.  

You hesitate, one part of you wants to run away with him because he’s the man you’ve wanted for the last six months. The other part of you wants to run away from him, he’s your stepbrother, he lied, and you don't know if he would’ve ever told you the truth. But isn’t that what he came here to do? Can you blame a little boy for being mad at the people who replaced his mother?  

You give him his answer by grabbind his neck and push his lips towards you. If this does go to hell at least you’ll have a story to tell your feature children.  

Suguru kisses back before standing and pulling you off him. “What—” 

“You said you wanted me on my knees, didn't you? I’m ready to serve you in any way you want. I can have my savings transferred to your account by tomorrow night.” He says as he drops to his knees. You stare at him with wide eyes as he holds your legs and starts kissing from knee to right where your pussy starts.  

“Suguru—” 

“Shh babydoll let me take care of my girl, show her how sorry I am for hurting her.” He mummers before dropping your leg and picking up the next one. He repeats this a few more times before finally asking you to lift your hips so he can pull your leggings and panties off. Suguru throws your pants behind him before standing up to pull your tank top off. You reach behind to unbuckle your bra and toss it on the floor with your other clothes. Suguru chuckles, reaching up to kiss all over your face. 

“Take your clothes off too Sugu.” You giggle, reaching for his sweatpants. You get a firm grip and yank them down. His thick cock bounces out. Your mouth goes slack. The phone call didn’t do it justice. It somehow looks bigger than before and if you weren’t wet before, you are now. That thing is going to be inside you soon.  

“Like what you see beautiful?” You nod dumbly as you watch Suguru step out of his pants and take his shirt off with one hand. He’s so fucking sexy.  

He drops back down to his knees and pulls you until your ass is hanging off the bed. “Lay down and let me please you.”  You comply and watch as Suguru lifts your legs up and buries his face in your cunt. Your hands fly down to his long shiny hair. 

“Suguru!” You moan as he licks you from asshole to clit. He sucks on your clit before biting both lips. Your pussy clenches. “Feels s’good Sugu!” You grind down on his talented tongue. Suguru hums into your clit before setting one of you thighs in his shoulder and bringing his fingers to your entrance. He teases you, only pushing his fingers into the joint before taking them out. You cry out in frustration before pulling on his long hair when he finally slides two big fingers into you. 

Yours definitely don't compare to his long thick ones. Your back arches off the bed as Suguru fingers jackhammer into you all the while his mouth sucks on your clit.  

“S’good Sugu! Don’t stop!” You scream letting go of hair with one hand to cover your loud mouth.  

“Don’t hide those sweet moans from me babydoll. If you want my cock, you’ll let me hear you scream my name as you cum on my fingers and mouth.” 

You bring you hand back to hair and grind hard as you get closer and closer to orgasm.  

“Gonna cum! M’gonna come!” You cry, as you release all over Suguru's face. He moans and sucks even harder before adding another finger. You cry at the sudden intrusion. It doesn't take long before you’re coming all over again, this time liquid shooting out of you and onto Sugu’s chest.  

“Yes baby, that's it—what a good girl,” He praises as he slurps up all your juices. “Such a fucking good gril f’me.” 

“Gimme a kiss.” You say between heavy breaths.  

“Does the pretty girl want kiss?” You nod, pulling Suguru down with you by the shoulders. 

“Want you to kiss me while you fuck me for the first time. Want it to be special,” You confess shyly. Suguru leans down and pecks you on the forehead, then the nose, and then both of your cheeks. 

“Don’ tease meanie!” You laugh when he kisses the corner of your lips. 

“M’sorry baby, can you forgive me?” He pouts.  

“Hmm��I’ll forgive you only if you kiss me right no—” You don’t even finish your sentence before Suguru shoves his tongue down your throat. You kiss him back and your tongues fight for dominance. Suguru wins and smiles into the kiss. You can’t believe this is happening. Your bully, your stepbrother, your mystery man is kissing you right now. Your about to make love with said man. 

“You okay babydoll?”  

“Mhm, just can’t believe this is all happening.” 

“Me too beautiful, you sure you want to do this right now? We can always wait.” 

“No, I want to. I want you.” You raise your hand to tuck his hair behind his ear. He smiles, showing you that adorable dimple. You kiss it.  

Suguru kisses your lips once more before he grabs his cock, rubbing it up and down your cunt. 

“Fuck—I don’t have a condom.” 

“I’m on the pill—please Sugu.” You beg, frustrated from all this foreplay. You’ve been on edge since last tight in the tub.  

“Alight beautiful,” He pushes the head of his cock into you. “Fuck me—you feel so good. Always knew you would.” You feel his fist guide his long cock into you. You moan. He fits you perfectly.  

“Sugu—feel’s s’good, want more!” You cry, fisting the blanket’s underneath you.  

“Does my baby want more—does she want to orgasm on my cock?” You nod watching Suguru lift your legs to his shoulder. He leans down, bringing your feet to the side of your head. You whine at the stretch. 

Suguru groans as he pulls his cock in and out of you.  

“S’too much!” You moan into his shoulder. He just laughs and picks up his pace. The fancy headboard above the bed starts to slam against the wall. You watch with blurry eyes as the stock photos hung on the wall shake.  

“Said you wanted more baby, ‘m giving you more.”  he says before biting into your neck. Hard. You scream, back arching at the pain. Your hands fist the sheets even tighter, knuckles turning white. Suguru unlatches his jaw. Lifting his head to admire his mark. Now all your customers will know you belong to someone. To him. He kisses the mark. 

“Sugu, It’s too much. Hurts! m’gonna cum!” You cry, tears soaking the blanket breath you. 

“Oh, don't cry baby—shhh—you’re so beautiful y/n. So damn pretty.” He whispers, coaxing you to orgasm. Your eyes roll to the back of your head. You stop breathing for a second as your pussy contracts around Suguru's cock. Suguru follows in suit, spurting his cum deep inside your pussy. 

“Fuck,” he draws out, collapsing onto you.  

“T-that was—” 

“The best sex ‘ve ever had.” 

“Same.” You smile before wincing. 

“What’s wrong babydoll.”  

“You're about to break my damn hip if you keep my legs up any longer,” Suguru lefts himself enough to bring your legs to his sides. “And you probably ripped a chunk of my neck off with that little trick of yours.” You grumble. 

“It’s not bad, promise.” He kisses the bite mark softly. 

“And all the pictures fell of the wall.”  

“I’ll put ‘em back up baby,” He laughs into your ear. “Just let me hold you for a second.”  He kisses your cheek before snuggling deeper into you. You throw your arms around his shoulder while you both try to wrap your head around everything that happened.  

[jimmy-dipthong]

I’ve been having trouble putting this idea into words so you’ll have to bear with me, but I was struck when I saw a Japanese news program interviewing foreign tourists in Japan, and some australian women were dubbed over with a stereotypically feminine speech register (lots of のs and わs), and my first thought was “they weren’t speaking that femininely in english”.

A friend of mine from the UK recently mentioned that he noticed that australia has a generally more masculine culture than england - he felt that everyone is a bit more masculine here, including women. This kind of confirmed to me that my impressions of the dubbing were right - the tourists were speaking in a relatively (internationally) more masculine way. Yet their dub made them sound so much more feminine.

It made me wonder. When translating something, do you translate the manner of speaking “directly”, or “relatively” in terms of cultural norms? Maybe this graph will help me explain the question.

A direct appoach in this case might appear to a Japanese person to result in an unexpectedly masculine register, but preserves how the speaker's cultural upbringing has influenced their speech.

The news program translators chose the relative approach - I think I would prefer the direct approach. I think I prefer it because I believe translation should be a rewriting of the original utterance as if the speaker was originally speaking the target language, and the direct approach compliments that way of thinking the best.

Actually now that I type that, I’m second guessing myself. Does it? It does, if for the purposes of the “rewrite it as if they spoke japanese” thought experiment, we suppose the speaker magically learned japanese seconds before making the utterance, but what if we suppose the speaker magically grew up learning japanese - then maybe they would conform to the relative cultural values. But also, maybe they would never have said such a thing in the first place - their original utterance was informed by their upbringing and cultural values, so how could you possibly know what they would have said if they had known japanese from birth? Maybe my initial instinct was right after all?

If you work in translation, I’m very interested to hear if you have come across this problem and how you deal with it 🙏

Further reading: I think this question also ties into this problem I’ve been struggling to answer for a while.

[writingouthere]

neighbor!Sukuna x singlemom!reader. In the aftermath of your apartment flooding, Sukuna makes you a deal that is too good to pass up. You don't fully know what you're agreeing to, but if you did would it have really changed anything? Reader POV

cw: Sukuna may seem like just a nice guy stepping up but really he's a red flag you're just too tired to see. It's hinted reader has not been treated well in the past but no specifics.

You hadn't known what to do when you woke up to the sound of rushing water. You had acted on instinct and grabbed your daughter from the room next to yours and stood in the kitchen, calling your landlord from the number on your lease to no avail. Your daughter was starting to get fussy and after the fourth attempt with no answer, you felt lost.

Your ex hadn't exactly been the reliable type and he probably would have just contributed by cursing and complaining about shitty landlords and even shittier affordable housing but that wouldn't have helped then and thinking about it wasn't helping you now. Single, alone with your daughter who was growing more disgruntled by the minute.

You hated to even consider but, there was someone who you kept coming back to that you thought could help.

Sukuna.

The tattooed man across the hallway hadn't struck you as the friendly type, but he had proved you wrong in the few months since you moved in. He looked like the type of guy you would cross the street to avoid, but he always had time to stop and talk to you when he saw you. He also always made it a point to say hello to your daughter and listen to her rambles, even when they didn't make sense to you.

Your other neighbors had warned you about him. Stories that included threats and assaults you just couldn't connect to the man who had taken you and your daughter to the aquarium when your piece of shit ex bailed on you both, again.

You had googled him afterwards and what you saw was pages and pages that included things like attempted, suspected and scarier words like murder, hospitalized and other things that just didn't fit with the man you were still getting to know.

The water was still falling and once your daughter started waking up, you called it and went over to the maybe scary man across the hall, who never scared you.

Within ten minutes, you found yourself in Sukuna's guest room while he stayed behind at your apartment to figure everything out. When was the last time someone told you, "I got it." You were always the responsible one. You were the mom friend, the girlfriend people liked to introduce to their parents. You had basically parented yourself!

But now, there was someone who told you that, "I got it."

So who could blame you for going along with what came next. When the next morning came and Sukuna told you that your super had come too late and the apartment was damage and you couldn't stop yourself from putting your head in your hands as your daughter happily munched on the pancakes he had made you both.

"What am I going to do," you groaned and you couldn't help but lean in when Sukuna placed his hand on your cheek.

"He said he would put you up in a hotel until it can be fixed," he said gently and you sighed. You envisioned the next several months in some shitty motel with no kitchen, sharing a lumpy bed with your two year-old, disrupting the routines you had been trying so hard to build as a single mom. No more afternoon trips to the park that was less than a block away. No more feeding the ducks with your leftover veggies or sharing pick up duties with the other moms at the daycare by your work.

"This sucks, I don't want to have to build my life all over again." And you really didn't. This was so frustrating and over what, a little water damage?

"Well," Sukuna started and he tilted your head so you were looking at him. "I do have the guest room. You could move some of your stuff over here and camp out until it's fixed. Pocket the hotel money, use it for something for the kid."

"Oh, I couldn't impose on you like that-"

"I wouldn't offer if it was an imposition," he said, his eyes glinting and for just a second you could see a little of the danger your neighbors had told you about, but then it was gone and he was leaning over you to take another pancake from the serving tray and putting it on your daughter's empty plate.

"It's not just for you, I would-I would feel a lot better knowing the both of you were taken care of. I doubt the hotel that-" he cut off looking over at your daughter, "you know is putting you up in is going to be the safest place for the two of you."

You couldn't believe you were considering it but you were so tired. You felt like life had just become a series of less than ideal circumstances you were forced to deal with just because you didn't want to settle for the wrong guy or give your daughter less than she deserved.

"I would pay rent," you said and he looked ready to argue but you held up your hand. He smiled, amused and gestured go on. "Just until they can fix the apartment and if we get to be too much tell me. We can tough it out in a hotel. We've dealt with worse," you added and he frowned before nodding.

"Deal." He turned to look at your daughter and smiled. "You hear that bug, you and mommy are moving in." Your daughter giggled and clapped her syrup covered hands.

"Temporarily," you reminded him and he smiled at you.

"Right, let's go grab the stuff you'll need while you're here temporarily." He went grabbed a towel and wiped your daughters hands while she kept laughing and chanting "move in, move in!"

Is it your fault that you didn't know that your circumstances were anything but temporary?

[starsofang]

thinking about johnny being completely smitten with an extremely reserved reader <3

johnny was head over heels from the very beginning. he couldn’t pinpoint when it had happened, but maybe it was when you first joined the force. at the initial greeting, he’d struck you with one of his bright smiles, only for a blank canvas to stare in return.

you hadn’t said a word, not a peep, and while others would be turned off by such reclusiveness, he was in awe.

an enigma, you were, and johnny was someone who loved a good puzzle.

you were cold and distant, but not in the way that was cruel and unnerving. you didn’t throw out snarky comments, you didn’t show a single bit of rudeness when somebody’s ticked you off. you weren’t hard headed, nor did you pitch a fight. you were a calm sea with peaceful waves lapping at the shore. a light rain on a dry day, one where in ancient times would’ve been a blessing from the gods. as cold as snow, but the kind that layered the ground in a fresh sheet of white right after a blizzard, painting the earth with powdered beauty.

if anything, you weren’t cold at all. you were just so incredibly awkward that johnny couldn’t help but be smitten by it.

you were that type of awkward where social cues were nearly impossible for you to comprehend. jokes didn’t land quite right whenever somebody made them, and you’d give a blank look to whomever fell victim, added on with a dumb “what?” because you didn’t understand it.

johnny’s been an unfortunate victim on many occasions. he’s always the type to nudge you on the shoulder with a crooked grin as he spilled out whatever joke ghost had told him over comms, only to be met with your complete and utter confusion.

that never stopped him, though. if anything, it made him much more determined to search up more jokes on the screen of a burner phone, reading through every single one and noting them in the back of his mind.

you were also as stone-faced as could be. some theorized you were a robot, others thought you were a demon in disguse. an experiment, placed into 141 as a trial run.

really, expressing yourself just wasn’t your thing.

you felt emotions, sure. plenty of them. you could find the humor in the occasional bar night with the force, amused at the linger of carefree conversation that carried between the men. you just didn’t show it.

it wasn’t something you realized until johnny had made the point of asking you if you ever smiled. thinking back on it, you recalled never directly doing so. you’d do it in your head, but when it came down to it, no, no you didn’t.

johnny was determined when keeping a goal in mind, and found himself ruthlessly running towards that goal of seeing you smile. he was enamored in the thought of seeing the slant of your lips when they curved upwards, in seeing your eyes crinkle and glimmer with delight, and he’d go through every single joke website in order to make it happen.

it took him an approximate year of you being in the force to get it to work.

it was lame, really. hardly one of his best jokes, he’d drunkenly slurred out, “what rank are all cats in the army? corpurrral,” with a tongue roll effect to go with it.

you had burst into laughter, filling the bar air with ringing church bells that he swore made the drunken state of his mind believe he was truly on his way to heaven. the gates had opened, inviting him in. he was levitating, slowly floating his way to the clouds.

your smile was like a breath of air — refreshing. it filled his lungs with such purity that all the cigarettes he’d smoked over the years of being in the force seemingly melted the thick layer of tar away, leaving him clean and refurbished.

it was like a drug, and johnny found himself seeking more out to get another taste, even if it took him another year to do so.

this is lowkey self insert bc this is my personality offline and i think other people who are so painfully awkward with socializing are cute and deserve love. wrote this with no sleep and a dream, silly ramble before i go to bed

i also just really love johnny, goodnight

[wilchur]

I've seen a lot of people talk about how the game doesn't give you any leeway when you play The Dark Urge, how it makes it very clear that Durge was A Bad Person, but I haven't seen it pointed out that Sceleritas seems VERY well versed in gaslighting the hell out of them and steering Durge away from any doubt or guilt in regards to their actions. Makes me think that they've probably had those types of conversations before because Durge actually always had a soft spot, only it got smaller and smaller in time. I have not had the opportunity to see the Heal cutscene yet, but I've got the butler in my camp now and he had some interesting things to say, like

[Durge: Can you tell me the worst thing I ever did?

Sceleritas Fel: There was one time you gave a beggar some coin while we were en route to the Devil's Fee.

Sceleritas Fel: You didn't kick him or spot on him or anything! I was so shocked I almost fainted!

Sceleritas Fel: I still have nightmares about it to this day. But I'm sure you only did so to lower the suspicions of the Flaming Fist. Surely?]

and it struck me because tossing a coin to a beggar is a bit of a thoughtless act isn't it? You don't put much thought into it, you just see someone in need and you do it. Out of empathy, generosity, something The Murder Incarnate should not be capable of. Sceleritas' uncertainty of Durge's reasoning for it totally convinces me it was NOT intentional. A simple act of kindness that slipped out.

ALSO

[Sceleritas Fel: The only way for a Butler to die is if we are not of use to our Master. But you have always needed abundant assistance.]

They always needed abundant assistance. Why? Because they kept slipping out of Bhaal's grasp? We know they did at least once, with Gortash. Maybe it was not the first time, maybe there are more "Letters of Forgiveness" tucked away somewhere.

To me pre-tadpole Durge is just terribly mindbroken and indoctrinated person hooked onto the sense of safety, purpose and acceptance of their dark side that the cultists and their father give them. Yeah they enjoy murder, gore and all that. That's the curse of their blood, but I don't think they were ever entirely consumed by it. Morality, guilt and empathy have always been there on the edge of their mind. Losing their memories (depending on player choices I know, but bear with me) was what they needed for them to be finally brought forward.

[dilatorywriting]

Monster Mayhem: Siren's Song [Part 1.5]

Gender Neutral Reader x Vil Schoenheit Word Count: 4.6k

Summary: There is a little, annoying human trapped in this bay with him. And he's going to eat them. (Vil's POV)

[PART 1] [PART 1.5] [PART 2] [PART 3]

There was a little, raggedy human staring up at him from the sand, and Vil had never felt so miserably persecuted in all his years.

The thing had been bound to him in a mess of ropes and frantic, bipedal flailing, and he’d honestly thought that it had drowned. Hoped that it had drowned. But no, apparently he couldn’t be quite so lucky. None of his pod’s raids had ever gone so terribly, and normally he was better able to keep his head about him. But it had been Epel’s first attempt at sneaking on board one of the grand, creaking, human vessels, and maybe he’d been a touch concerned about it. Like a fretting parent sending their guppy off to the deep for their first solo-swim. And perhaps he’d struck a bit too quick and sharp when he saw things headed South. Not taking the normal care he would to assess for traps, or weapons, or stupid humans and their equally stupid, fraying ropes.  

But none of that mattered. It was hardly a crime to want to protect your family. It had happened, that was the end of it. There was no changing things. And now he was here. In this cove. With that thing.

You pedaled backward in the sand like those two legs of yours hardly worked at all, and even though it looked like you were retreating (rightfully so, at least you were smart enough to realize this was a lost battle), Vil still bared his teeth in a challenge. Because he was angry, and sore, and at the moment you were the cause of every, single one of his problems in the world. He tossed his tail in the surf, splattering stinging bits of ice water into your face.

“Stop! Stop!” you squawked, wheeling away like he was dousing you in acid rain rather than a bit of pissy water warfare. “I get it! I won’t come near you, jeesh! I wasn’t planning on it to begin with!”

“Of course you weren’t,” he spat. “From the looks of you, you don’t plan much of anything at all.”

You didn’t respond to his scathing insult, only kept scooting yourself back against the sand on legs that still apparently refused to work. Or maybe you’d simply forgotten about them. You seemed like you could be the type.

He ground his talons into the damp sand at his hips and felt the ridges of the fins along his spine prickling tight and painful, trying to puff out in a predatory display that they simply couldn’t because he was still bound in the godforsaken rope.

“I don’t know what your little plan was,” he hissed, “but you’ve done both of us a disservice. And while I’m sure you’re used to disappointment, I am not going to tolerate this.”

More silence. You looked—not confused, per se. But definitely not particularly keen on following his very justified rant against your person. Your gaze kept darting from his vicious glare, to his claws digging up the shoreline, and then to his lips. He could see your own mouth moving a bit alongside his, like you were trying to echo the shape of the insults flying off his tongue.

“Listen here, you fleshy rat,” he snapped, jabbing a black talon in your direction. “You’re going to tell me the course that your ridiculous ship had set so that I can return to my pod at once. Do you understand? And if you’re lucky, I won’t crawl my way up there to bite off your fingers one by one. How’s that sound?”

You blinked back at him with no comprehension, like his marvelous depiction of having your bones gnawed on for snacks just wasn’t a vivid enough picture.

The rage in his chest bubbled bright and hot, and the age-old magics in his veins zipped through his blood like a stroke of lightening.

Insolent brat.

Fine. He’d make you listen then.

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” you said, and oh, you were a nuisance. He was going to rip your nerves out from the depths of your useless, human limbs. Feast on your bones until the marrow had been picked clean and leave the scraps for the gulls—

He parted his lips and sang loud and sharp—letting that familiar lull roll off his tongue like the sweetest poison. His Call had always been the strongest in his pod, after all. That’s why it was his job to keep them safe, to ensure that no one was lost in a hunt that was meant to be so simple just because they couldn’t keep their purple-headed curiosity under wraps long enough to not to be caught—

Vil turned his sneer back your way, fully prepared to see you kowtowed before him with your nose buried in the sand. And—

You were just sitting there. Butt in the muck and just as wide-eyed and brainless as before. Staring back at him with a startled sort of expression on your face and nothing else. Normally there was a sort of tether between him and his victims. A call, an answer. Simple principles. And while he could never see the tangible net of his influence tightening around their brains, he could always sense it. Or at least something like it. But this time, there was just… nothing.

Vil snarled, swallowing around the spiky pinch of something in his gut that he refused to call panic, and canted his head back to sing louder.

The shallow dregs of the cove rippled at his hips with the force of it, and he could feel the swell of his influence curling out further and further. Digging its claws into anything and everything it could reach. He could feel one tether spooling out and grabbing after the other, feel the familiar pull of subservience from the very sea itself. And—

“I can’t hear you!”

Oh, you mocking piece of—

He widened his mouth until his jaw was creaking and his tongue was going numb from the sharp bursts of arcana snapping from throat.

“It’s not a challenge!” you wailed, hands cupped over your mouth to try and shout over his howling song. “My ears literally, actually, do not work, you fucking overgrown anchovy!”

His mouth fell closed all at once, the Call cutting off so abruptly that the returning wave of snapping magics almost made his head spin. The power of it hung along his nerves like the zipping prickle of electric eels, and the water at his hips churned and bubbled.

“There,” you huffed, like someone who’d just been horribly inconvenienced by a gust of wind ruining their hair, rather than a human bearing the full weight of a siren’s fury. Brushing off some of the most powerful magics in the ocean like it was nothing worse than a bit of sand in your trousers. It was… unnerving. And it had something uneasy curdling in Vil’s stomach.

He dug his claws into the sand, fins flaring along his sides in a defensive display before he could help himself. Your eyes tracked the way the muck gave way beneath his talons and he watched your throat bob. Good. You should be afraid of him. Because he refused to be afraid of a human like you. No matter how the hair at his nape prickled or the fins at his ears pinned against the sides of his head.

“Well…” you said after a long moment, awkward and stiff. “I should get going, I suppose.”

And then you were stumbling your way to your feet to venture deeper into the crags of the small island. Vil smacked his tail against the surf, loud and sharp. A plaintive ‘good, begone,’ if ever there was one. But you didn’t even flinch, let alone turn around to witness his grand ‘fuck you.’ He wasn’t sure why he was expecting you to.

He watched you crawl your way up a mess of boulders and old shells, eyes narrowed and that same, unpleasant prickle running through his nerves. Once you were well and truly out of sight, he returned to his fins and started doing all he could to assess the damage. The sooner he could deal with this setback and set out into the depths of the ocean, the sooner he could return to his pod. And the sooner he’d be away from you, and all your strange, human ways.

.

.

You returned maybe an hour later, only a few minutes after he’d given up on trying to pick the horrid mess of twine from the wounds along his tail. His claws weren’t made for such delicate work, and the poisoned tips of them weren’t doing his shredded fins any favors.

He turned on you with a snarl that would have sent any other sentient creature scurrying for cover, fins pinned and canines on full display. But apparently you had less self-preservation than even the brainless, teeny, rock crabs burrowing hurriedly into the sand.    

“Hello,” you said. Like that was any way appropriate.

“Get lost,” he snarled.

You nodded back, simple and sage, and then pointed to the mess of your ropes twined along his fins.

“I can get that off if you promise not to eat me.”

Vil sneered and surged forward to scrape his claws through the muck again, hoping his demonstration of what he would do to your face if you stepped near him was clear enough to get through your head.

“Touch me and you’ll be lucky if all I do is eat you.”

You blinked back, and he watched the way your eyes jumped across his expression. Trailed to his mouth, his brow, his teeth. Reading whatever you could see there. And then you shrugged again, unbothered by his spitting threats as before.

“Alright. Your loss, I suppose.”

There was a keenness to your gaze though, a sharp, pointed consideration that had his hackles rising all over again.

“If you think that you can be rid of me that easily, you’re solely mistaken,” he spat, smacking his fins into the shallows until the water was churning wild and angry. “This is all your fault, and whatever ridiculous plot you’re considering, I’ll gladly return it tenfold.”

Your face pinched like you had any right to be annoyed by this at all, and then promptly turned away from him like you’d lost all interest in his theatrics. You meandered around the shore, scooping up the battered remains of some of the fish that had stranded themselves during his failed Call. Then you sat yourself well away from the water’s edge and pulled a knife from your boot, running it along the fish’s scales and clearing out the muck.

“Thanks for the food!” you chirped petulantly, making long, pointed, eye contact as you did so. Like that little blade of yours was supposed to be any sort of a threat. Perhaps he could use it to pick the leftover bits of you out of his teeth.

Vil turned up his nose and returned to carefully grooming the shredded ends of his fins.

“You’re an obnoxious brat,” he growled, wincing as his claws caught over a frayed patch of scales and began to bleed all over again. “And I’m going to drown you.”

Naturally, you did not respond.

.

.

The rope burned, and he knew he wasn’t helping himself. The twine of it was frayed, poor quality. And combined with the tacky, salt-sticky damp of the waves, it made the worst sort of web. Vil threw himself around in the shallows like a pup stuck in their first net. And he knew—knew—this wasn’t going to make things better. But the more he worked to free himself and the less progress he made, the angrier he got (Not afraid, angry. He wasn’t afraid. He wasn’t).

A tight bit of fibers snagged along the delicate mesh of the fins at his hips and gave a shrieking riiip that had him collapsing into the sand bed with a bitten off noise that he refused to call a gasp. But Sevens, it did hurt. He pressed his face into the shallow pool of warm water beneath his chin and forced his breath to calm, to dig his claws into the grit beneath him rather than his own scales. Because this wasn’t working. And he—he needed to fix it. On his own. Because he was on his own. And he was going to manage, just like he always had.

There was a noise off on the shore—the tumbling of pebbles against stone as you shifted around in your little, makeshift hideaway. And he refused to look up to meet your gaze. Because surely you were staring. Humans were always so happy to watch his kind suffer, flailing about in their traps and bound in nets like a garish display. And he wasn’t going to give you the satisfaction of knowing he’d been seen like… like this.

So he forced himself to go still and silent, ignoring the pain biting into his sides like the teeth of a shark and the panicked, clawing thing in his gut that kept screaming that he was going to die here.

.

.

The next morning, you were wandering the shoreline, scrounging after the remains of various crabs from the day prior. Vil refused to look at you, and spent the time pointedly running his claws through the tangles in his hair and primping himself like he didn’t have a care in the world. Because if a stupid, lowly human fit for nothing but an after-dinner-snack could thrive in these circumstances, than surely he could do even better.

There was the soft, wet sounds of your footsteps behind him, and Vil turned on you with a roaring snarl—fins pinned and spines perked, defensive.

“What?” he snapped, beating his tail.

You awkwardly held up one your pickings—a round, red crab with fat claws.

“I don’t know if you all eat fish or whatever, but…”

Vil fought the urge to gawk. Were you offering him one of—but why would you—

He bit through his surprise with another sneer. “Firstly, crabs are crustaceans, not fish. You’d think any self-respecting creature that spent their days on the ocean would know something as obvious as that. Secondly, why would you even think that I would share a meal with you? Even I didn’t think humans could be that stupid, but you’re certainly setting a new bar.”

Your mouth twitched at his very sharply enunciated ‘stupid’ and he fought a smirk.

“Oh. Know that one, do you?” he cooed, all mocking.

“Look, do you want it or not?” you snapped, irritated, and his fins flared up again—wide and defensive.

Vil crossed his arms on an exaggerated, pointed huff and turned in the other direction. A clear dismissal. “I’d rather starve.”

“Whatever,” you griped, voice canted sharp with your foul temper, and then there was a crack and a yelp.

Vil turned back to see you reeling away, hand over your mouth to catch a mix of blubbering, wincing curses and a shattered crab shell clenched between your fingers in the most obvious show of stupidity he’d perhaps ever seen. He burst out into laughter before he could help himself, and you stormed away with warm cheeks and pieces of jagged, red shell still clinging to the corners of your lips.

.

.

That night he fought the ropes even harder, ignoring the way they pulled, and tore, and dug into places that he knew they should not. And maybe it was self-destructive, stupid, but if he didn’t get himself free of this horrible mess his fins would never heal. He’d never be able to swim properly again. And he’d never be able to leave this cove, never return to his pod, his family. Never—

A shell walloped him in the back of the head and Vil turned with a shriek so vicious it nearly startled even him. Because there you were—the bane of his existence. Standing at the edge of the water with that ridiculous, deadpan look on your ridiculous face and already scrounging about in the sands like you were looking for something else to throw at him. He didn’t even know what he was screaming at that point, absolutely brought over the edge in rage, and pain, and fear, and it was all. your. faul—

Then something in your expression snapped and you were storming forward towards the surf—absolutely incensed.

“Look, fish face! You were the one who attacked me! You!” you shrieked, stomping in the sand and nearly pinning the longer, trailing ends of his fins beneath your heels. “So stop acting like I’m some scheming shithead who was planning to trap you like this from the start!”

“You trapped me!” he howled, outraged. “You were going to kill a member of my pod! Who’s barely out of his pup days! And he was my responsibility, and you were going to attack him!”

Magic zipped along his tongue, demanding that you kneel. Show your throat and be done with it. But when you just kept glaring back—absolutely stone-faced and seething with indignation—Vil forced himself to take a breath, and then another.

“Epel,” he spat, low and exaggerated. He saw your eyes flicker to his lips, trace the outline of the word. “Epel,” he said again, sharp and angry. And when your own mouth began to subconsciously follow the shape of it, he was off and running again. “He’s my responsibility. Epel. He—” Vil pointed at the pale, lavender creases at the base of his fins. “His hair is like this. You saw him. You spoke to him. And you were going to tie him up just like you did to me.”

Your eyes narrowed, sharp.

“That kid,” you said after a moment, lips twisting in a frown. “You attacked me because of Purple Head?!”

“Epel,” Vil spat again, smacking his fins into the surf to douse you in a mess of seawater. “Not some kid. A pup. Barely of age. And you were going to—”

“You—” you hissed, scrubbing the salt from your eyes with the back of your hand. “He was still attacking us first! He was going after my friend!” you snapped, kicking your own wave back. It splattered along Vil’s hips, barely a sprinkling in comparison to his own tidal waves. “You don’t get to act all noble and protective, and like any of that makes any difference when you all were going to eat us!”

Vil snarled, and the twist of it left a bitter, rotten taste on his tongue. It wasn’t the same. It didn’t matter what you wanted, because you were just some human. Humans were vile, and cruel, and good for nothing but filling their bellies. And this was his family. So what if you claimed you were just standing up for your own brood? It wasn’t the same. It wasn’t.

So he turned back to dive into the shallows with as much force as his aching, crippled fins could manage. Sinking to the bottom of the cove in a huff of bubbles and clawing his way through the muck until he was well and truly hidden in the murky, sandy depths. He smacked his tail against the mess of pebbles and rocks until every creature beneath was scurrying for safety—fleeing outwith the flailing, destructive force of a Siren’s tantrum.

Was that why he was here, then? Bound and gagged on some hellhole of an island because of his own mistakes? Because you’d just been aligning yourself with the moral high ground he’d been riding this whole time? Saving your kin at the cost of your own, fragile skin. Dragged overboard to fight the monsters trying to devour your family whole. Ridiculous. He wasn’t going to let himself feel bad for the slighted prey in a hunt gone wrong. Sharks certainly didn’t regret the fish they chased, nor did the great black-and-white whales that pursued those sharks in turn. This was just the way of things, the circle of life. And he wasn’t going to feel guilty about the tight, protectivelook on your face as you shouted him down about defending your own pod at all.

.

.

You were curled up by the same rock the next morning, sleeping soundly against the rough hewn edge. It looked hideously uncomfortable, with your chin tucked up against your chest and your head pressed against half-a-dozen layered, jagged ridges. Vil had always heard that humans were used to luxury—soft, plush blankets made of foreign fabrics and great, stuffed squares of bedding that could put even the finest woven siren nests to shame. And there you were. Scrunched up with a shell clearly embedded in your cheek.

He frowned, fins rippling awkwardly at his sides where the majority were still knotted up in twine.

He needed to leave this cove. As soon as possible. And get away from… all of this.

It generally wasn’t considered the best of ideas to Call openly across the sea. Lone sirens were prime targets for all sorts of nasty scavengers. Human hunters, rival pods, even other rogues looking for a fight. It was dangerous to mark one’s position so openly, let alone in a manner that made it obvious of the less than stellar situation they had no doubt found themselves in. It was also a nasty toll to try and Call so far for so long, on himself and the environment around him. A screeching, horrible thing that he’d only heard a few times in all his years. It was a terrible idea for everyone involved, himself and his fellow castaway most of all. But, well, desperate times, and all that.

Besides, it wasn’t like you’d be able to hear it anyways.

So began his endless song.

He’d sing, and sing, and sing—feeling the ripples of it carrying across the surface of the water and shivering through the air. And then, after he’d worn his throat ragged, he’d pause. Just long enough to swallow around the sting and tilt his head to listen. His fins would flare out against the side of his head, and he’d wait. And then, when there was no answer to his Calling, he’d circle back and do it again. A part of him hoped there would be none. He’d taught his pod better than to do something so foolish—to put themselves at the mercy of all the monsters of the sea. And… if they didn’t answer, perhaps that just meant they were searching for him. Using his own, ridiculous harping to trace him down. And if not that, then at least that they were off somewhere safe. Somewhere far, and hidden.

He swam and sang until he was too exhausted for either. Bound fins a heavy, leaden weight at his hips and head barely cresting above the water.

When the sun set over the horizon, Vil let himself roll in alongside the surf to rest in the sand, boneless and sore. His eyes slipped shut with the encroaching darkness, too heavy to hold open at all. He hadn’t seen much of you today. Occasionally you’d wander down to the shoreline, head popping up over a cluster of rocks to shoot him a look that he couldn’t quite decipher, but for the most part you’d stayed hidden away. Out of his hair, at least. Perhaps you’d finally learned what was good for you, and that keeping as far away from the beast lurking in the shallows was the only way you’d be getting out of this alive.

And then his eyes were snapping open to a field of stars overhead and the moon hanging fat and low in the sky like a fruit ripe for the plucking.

And there you were, hovering over him with that laughably small knife of yours.

Carefully and gently working the rope away from his tattered fins.

Your fingers were delicate, precise. Every time those woven fibers tugged in a way that could even begin to hurt, you were softening your touch and muttering reassurances under your breath. He wondered if you realized you were doing that at all—chattering quiet, rambling nonsense like a nervous tick. ‘Ack, don’t twitch so much, it’s just going to cut deeper,’ and ‘sorry! Sorry! I didn’t think that would move like that! Just—just stay still and it will all be done way faster and then you can swim off, and—’ You were exceptionally careful over the areas of rough, beaten scales along the dip of his tail, wincing in sympathy at the raw, raw skin there. The blade never strayed anywhere it wasn’t needed, and you never touched any part of him that wasn’t in an effort to work another tangle of knots free.

Vil kept himself perfectly still and his breaths even and deep. He watched you through the low, golden dip of his lashes, eyes tracking your fluttering hands and quiet mumblings.

The last of the rope fell away with a wet, heavy plap in the sand and when you sighed there was a smile in your voice.

“There,” you muttered, soft. “Now he can swim home again.”

He froze, startled, and something dropped low and tight in his gut.  

Because humans were cruel. Humans were food. Humans were nothing more than vermin crawling over the surface of his ocean in their hunkering, wooden vessels and finless feet. They didn’t deserve sympathy, or anything of that ilk. And—

Your gaze met his and the spark of horrified realization didn’t even manage to settle properly in your wide, wide eyes before he had you pinned in the sand.

It was easy—far too easy. Compared to him you were so small, so fragile. No heavy, bulk of muscle and scales to help keep you alive and fighting. Just fragile limbs and lungs that were good for nothing. He dug his claws into your shoulders and felt the warm prick of blood curl up beneath his talons—could see you wince with the first pinch of acrid poison sharpening the wound. He was going to rip you apart, just like he’d said he would. Even if you hadn’t been able to hear him, he’d show you. Because humans were vile, and no matter what you’d claimed, you didn’t deserve anything better than an end beneath the points of his fangs. Fuel for the journey back to his pod and nothing more.

‘There. Now he can swim home again.’

He reeled back, nose scrunching and teeth grinding in his jaw.

You were still beneath him, blinking up in shock but not fighting. Like being flipped onto your back had been startling out of principle, but not unexpected. Like the idea of dying at his claws was just something you’d been expecting from the get-go.

And yet—

‘Sorry! Sorry!’ you’d been rattling. ‘Ah, if you squirm it’s just going to hurt, you stupid, overgrown fish—'

Vil reared back with a snarl that had goosebumps racing all along your arms, and then he was diving back into the shallows—swiping the tip of his fins against your nose as he went in a sharp crack that he hoped would have you yelping and stumbling away from the ocean’s edge.

He paced along the edges of the bay, newly freed fins slowly uncurling in the lull of the tide. And he felt free. Sore, certainly, and aching in ways he never had before, but free.

When he popped his head back out of the water, you were sprawled out in the sand like a dying starfish, absolutely out of your mind and babbling nonsense about ‘captains’ and ‘collars’ under your breath.

‘Good,’ he harumphed, diving back into the shallows to twirl along his unbound tail. ‘Maybe that would teach you to stay out of the water.’

.

.

[TAG LIST - CLOSED]

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[sunonyoreface]

One Cot - Simon “Ghost” Riley

Hi there, this story is a one shot about Simon Riley. I haven’t played COD before and I don’t know much about his character, but I love the thought of tough men being soft.

Summary: You help Ghost on a cold night and he returns the favour.

Word count: 2398

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader

Warnings: none, fluff.

Crews like task force 141 aren’t the type to pack extra cots. They don’t need them. Because crews like 141 don’t make a habit of bringing home extra bodies. There’s only ever one scenario when they have extra cots. Luckily for them, tonight’s not one of those nights.

For me, however, that means another night on the floor with my ankle cuffed to the bottom of one of their cots in case I try to run.

 Although I’m deemed non-violent, I’m also a flight risk. According to them at least.

 According to me, I have no clue where we are or how I’d even survive away from them. I’ve got no money, no ID, no map or compass, or even the slightest clue how I’d escape. Regardless, the cuffs stay on.

 My wrists face the same fate. But my hands are free enough to rake them through my damp hair, working them through the tangles. It’s a soothing feeling of normalcy in this strange place.

 In his cot on the other side of the room, Soap waits for one of the other boys to return from the showers and trade off babysitting duty.

 One thing I can say is that chivalry is not dead, because they allowed me to shower first. Not that it matters all that much. There’s no hot water anyway so there isn’t much of a benefit in going first. But it’s the thought that counts.

 Ghost is the first one back. It’s strange not seeing him wear layers upon layers of tactical gear. Instead, he only wears dark jeans and a black henley. And the balaclava too. I’ve yet to see him take it off. I wouldn’t be surprised if he showered with it on. I don’t know that the other guys have seen him take it off either. They make comments sometimes, little jabs and jokes about how it never comes off. Ghost hardly notices though. Or maybe I should say hardly reacts. He’s stoic through it all, preventing any emotions from breaking through.

 Soap leaves without a word. They understand their positions. So well, that half the time I think they’re communicating through their thoughts.

 Ghost places a duffel bag on the cot I’m cuffed to. I sit cross-legged on a blanket on the floor as he ruffles through it.

 His strong form towers over me two feet away. Ghost doesn’t make eye contact as I watch him search through the bag. He’s less threatening without the bulky gear and a gun in his hand. But that mask is still terrifying enough to find its way into your dreams.

 However, it's not the mask that sets me on edge around Ghost, it’s his eyes. They’re cold and unwavering, giving away nothing. They’re the eyes of a killer. Of someone who enjoys inflicting pain. Of someone whose been in so much pain himself, his only release is passing it on to others.

 He hasn’t bothered me that much since my first day with them all. Back when he was ready to put me down like a lame horse. I was a loose end that needed to be tied up. Still am, if I’m being honest. Price stopped him, but if it was up to Ghost, I’d have been dead for days now. Even now, I’m sure part of him wants to kill me knowing it’s the more logical option. But until then, he’s under orders to keep me alive.

 “Anyone ever tell you that you’ve got a staring problem?” His rough voice breaks the silence. He rarely acknowledges me so for him to speak up must mean I’ve struck a nerve. My mouth suddenly feels dry.

 “Just you,” I say. “Sorry.”

 But I don’t look away. I continue to watch him search through the bag. I don’t know what he’s looking for but he can’t seem to find it. The tight sleeves of the Henley hug his strong arms. Even through the fabric, I can see the defined lines of his muscles. His posture is nearly perfect and his movements could almost be considered robotic.

 “What’re you looking for?” He doesn’t seem like the type of person to misplace his things.

 “Nothing,” he responds bluntly.

 “Maybe it fell behind the cot. I can check for you?” I offer.

 “Negative.”

 “Are you sure beca-“

 “Stop talking, y/n,” he snaps. I flinch at his response. As he says this he finally makes eye contact with me and I regret ever looking at him. There’s an anger in his eyes that no man I’ve ever met has been able to match. A deep-rooted hatred for the world and all of its inhabitants. It’s not a look that you’re born with. It’s one that’s carved from years of pain and betrayal. He’s witnessed the type of things that would break most people. The intensity of his gaze is too much. I break eye contact to stare at the floor.

 Fine. I won’t try to help.

 I lean against the cement wall and try to think about anything else. I press my hands to the inside of my thighs in an attempt to warm them up.

 When they found me I was only in ripped shorts and a ratty tank top with nothing else to my name.

 Since then some of the men spared me a set of long johns, a long sleeve shirt, and a pair of thick socks. I’m not allowed shoes in case I try and take off. It’s better than what I had but the warehouse is cold and the cement floor seems to suck out any heat my body produces.

 Ghost angrily zips up the duffel bag and tosses it on the floor at the other end of the cot. I watch the bag skid for a foot before finally coming to a stop.

 He climbs onto the cot with a dissatisfied grunt. Ghost sleeps with his head on the far side of the cot and his feet at the end I’m cuffed to. He doesn’t take his shoes off. None of them do. In fact, I’m surprised he isn’t sleeping with more gear on. Some days they’ll all sleep in their tactical gear as if they’re waiting to be attacked. Part of me is relieved they don’t feel as though that’s a threat tonight.

 I can hear voices echo down the halls. Some of the others must be done in the showers.

 I lie down on my makeshift bed: a pillow and a blanket that I fold in half to act as a mattress and duvet.

 When I lie down, however, something shiny catches my eye under Ghost’s cot.

 It’s a tiny chain. A necklace.

 On my hands and knees, I crawl under his cot to grab the necklace.

 “What’re you doing?” Ghost mumbles above me. I hear him shift his weight against the rough canvas fabric.

 When I back out from under the cot, he’s sitting with his legs off the edge. Suspiciously eyeing my movements. His right hand is in one of his pant pockets probably wrapped around a knife in case I try something.

 I kneel in front of the bed beside his legs. My damp hair clings to my neck and the tip of my nose is red and cold.

 I raise the chain up to Ghost. His eyes latch on immediately.

 “Is this it?” I ask. He eyes me suspiciously. I see him searching for any signs of deceit. Maybe I lied to him and hid the chain from him. Maybe I pickpocketed him before he went to shower. But I didn’t do any of those things. I hold his eye contact this time. His brows soften ever so slightly. It seems to be enough.

 Ghost doesn’t say anything. Instead, he simply grabs the chain from my hand. His fingers brush against my palm as he scoops it up. He examines it a moment before slipping it over his neck and tucking it under his shirt.

 I don’t know why but I was hoping for a thank you. Or at least an acknowledgment that I’d helped. But Ghost remains silent. At the same time, the voices reach the room. Roach and Gaz round the corner from the hallway.

 At their entrance, I turn back to my makeshift bed and pretend to sleep. It’s not that I don’t like them - although I don’t, in fact, I don’t like any of them - but I don’t have the energy for more questions from them tonight.

 I hear Ghost shift in his cot and it seems our thoughts are on the same track.

 As hard as I try, sleep doesn’t come. They shut off the main lights over an hour ago, yet I still haven’t calmed down enough to drift off. It doesn’t help that I can’t stop shivering from the cold.

 The warehouse remains utterly silent except for the light snores and breathing of the men. Only the emergency lights fill the corners of the room with dim, orange light. They’re almost comforting in a way.

 I pull the single blanket tighter around my shoulders and ball up even smaller if that’s possible, but nothing helps. My bones shake and my teeth rattle. If only I had another blanket.

 The cot next to me creaks as Ghost shifts in his sleep. It creaks some more and then I notice he’s sitting up.

 Ghost spares a glance in my direction as he rummages through his pocket for something.

 Something silver glints in the light and I realize it’s a key. He wordlessly tosses it in my direction and by some stroke of luck, I catch it mid-air.

 It’s the key to the cuffs. I spare an uneasy glance in his direction. He wants me to uncuff myself?

 Ghost doesn’t react. Instead, he watches as I process my thoughts, as I push through my weariness and unlock my ankles first before freeing my wrists.

 I reach to pass the key back to him but instead of grabbing the key, his large hand wraps completely around my wrist and tugs me in close.

 I’m face to face with him as his other hand wraps around my jaw so I can’t pull away.

 “If you try to run, I’ll kill you,” his low voice is barely above a whisper. The edge to his tone makes the threat feel all the more real.

 “Okay,” I nod in response. My heart is racing and I feel the blood rush to my cheeks.

 “Come here. Bring your blanket,” he motions to the cot. I spare a glance at the narrow bed. Surely he doesn’t want to share it with me? There’s barely enough room for one person let alone two.

 “I don’t know,” I whisper back as though it’s an option. I don’t know where he’s going with this suggestion and I don’t think I trust him.

 “That’s an order, y/n,” his response does nothing to ease my soul, but I grab my blanket anyway and crawl onto the cot.

 It’s now he notices my hesitancy. How I purposely leave space between us on the bed. That I’m unsure of why he wants me up here. The fogginess of his intentions.

 “I can't sleep with the sound of your teeth rattling in my ears all night,” nothing changes in my expression so he tries again, his tone softer this time. “You’re safe, y/n. I’m safe. Nothing’s going to happen.”

 I sigh in relief but don’t say anything in response. He knows.

 “C’mere,” he lifts the blanket for me to slide in. The warmth immediately welcomes me into the space.

 The cot is more narrow than a twin mattress and leaves little to no wiggle room for two people. I’m pressed tightly into Ghost's chest as his arm wraps around my waist, pulling me closer and preventing me from falling off.

 I thought I’d be tense but the heat under the blankets completely relaxes me. I nuzzle my face into the crook of his neck. His balaclava is soft against my cheek. I hear his breathing pick start to pick up. I can feel his chest expand deeper than before.

 “Thank you,” my voice is barely audible, but I know he heard.

 As I adjust to our proximity, I breathe in the scents that linger on his skin and in his clothes. I can smell the same standard citrusy shampoo on him as myself and the rest of the crew use. But there’s also a remainder of smoke and gunpowder from the day’s work. There’s something else more unique to him and yet I can’t put my finger on it. I take a deep breath and allow myself to revel in the calming smells. This shouldn’t be comforting and yet it is.

 Nothing about this situation should be comforting and yet I feel safer than I have in weeks.

 Wrapped in Ghost's arms, I know nothing else in the world can get to me. My only danger is the man who holds me. Yet I know in this instance after he’s sacrificed his space and his bed for me, that I’ve got nothing to worry about.

 Ghost shifts against the canvas again. This time pulling me on top of him as he spreads out across his cot. He wraps his arms around my back he readjusts for the final time. I feel so small on top of him. Ghost spreads a hand out across my lower back and it feels as though it takes up the entire width of the space. His thumb soothingly brushes back and forth along the arch of my spine.

 I lay my head on his chest and listen to the thrum of his heart. It beats strong and steady like a bass drum. I feel myself relaxing even more as my breathing starts to match his. I feel myself start to drift as my head lulls with his chest when it rises and falls.

 For the first time in a long time, I don’t worry about what tomorrow brings. I’m so content in his arms that I don’t think about what’s next. All that fills my mind is the strength of his heartbeat and the distant scent of gunpowder. The last thing I think about before finally nodding off is the feeling of his thumb brushing up and down along my back, letting me know everything is going to be alright.

Edit+A/N: I have never received this much attention on a story before so thank you!! When I have time should I write more for Ghost?

Fic based on this concept:

[lilacstarx]

Written In The Stars

Jing Yuan x Wife Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings ⚠️: Reader is called wife, Dad jing yuan, reader and yanqing have a close relationship, family, Abit dramatic, slight angst-Fluff, mentions of deed

To avoid confusion yangqing is green and jing yuan is blue

Author’s note: dilf jing yuan that’s it he got me hooked from day one🫶

“Its so thoughtful that Qingni asked the palace of Astrum to help her for Mother's Day this year” you mumbled, which Fu Xuan clearly heard and that made her eye brow raise.

 

It was a nice day to begin with the streets of xianzhou luofu filled with flowers displayed for people to buy and the huge sale for chocolates and gifts.

Which leads you here today with Fu Xuan drinking tea at Starkiff Haven, drinking tea by the bridge, where Mr. Xiyan also shares stories.

She doesn't think it's a good sign when she sees a slight pout on your lips, and you've been sighing so many times that she's lost count.

And how you keep mentioning todays agenda mother’ day.

Just a few hours ago, you dragged her off to the divination and asked her for a stroll to clear something in your mind.

You didn't speak about it but instead looked at the flower shops and families that passed by with sad eyes. 

Fu xuan felt bad

“Did something happen at home with the general? ”She asked, hoping to get this off your back and rant it open to her.

As your mood went unpleasant, the teacup returned to the saucer with a loud thud.

"It's just some men are very ignorant and suddenly they don't have time for you" you exclaimed out to Fu Xuan.

"But I guess it can't be helped afterall we all grow apart" you grumbled again before wrapping it up and thanking Fu Xuan for her company, even though you dragged her.

She watched as your form dissapeared from the crowd. Normally, she wouldn't engage in the affairs of the general and his wife.

But perhaps she could turn your day frowny to bright-eyed. She only needed to give someone an earful of scolding, and Fu Xuan knew exactly who it was.

———

Tracking down the general was the easiest thing considering all he does is stay in one or two places. She might thank Lan for giving the luofu a laid-back general.

"Jing Yuan!" She huffed and gave the general a frustrated look, shocking the general who was finishing the last pile of papers of the day.

"I must be in deep trouble lady diviner what do i owe the pleasure-"

"How can you be so neglectful to your wife!"

Neglectful? Was that how you felt over the previous few days? Is that why you stayed up all night and wait for him?

though perhaps he has been busy and forgot his husbandly duties, but he did greet you last night before dozing off and greet you earlier this morning with roses and a delicious breakfast in the garden, which you appreciated and smiled at him.

What has he done to make you this sad and cause the lady diviner this angry.

"I spent the morning with my wife, diviner fu, and waited until the clock struck 12 to greet her. Did I miss anything?" Jing Yuan was puzzled.

———

You walked till your feet ached, seeking to clear your mind from today's event, which couldn't be helped as you went by others who acknowledged today's agenda

Well i guess it can’t be helped

Perhaps ending this night with a warm bath and a glass of wine wouldn't hurt. You deserve it. You patted yourself on the shoulder before walking back home.

Something feels odd. There were rose petals around your home and a few lighted candles. The lights were turned to a warmer tone to suit the ambiance.

"Jing Yuan, are you home?" You spoke before following the trails of roses when you got no response and entered your shared room with your husband.

There lays the dozing general partly naked, one hand holding a bottle of wine and the other holding two empty glasses.

“Yuan what is this?” You asked strangely looking at your husband. You knew he was a romantic guy, but he wouldn't generally do this type of thing at home.

Especially if yanqing is near

Oh boy, he walked in on you two doing the deed and didn't speak to either of you for a day straight.

"Shhh, my beautiful wife, how about you relax yourself and let me do all the work?" The white-haired man spoke standing up and handing you the bouquet of flowers sitting on the bedside table.

"Yuan, you didn't have to do this. You already spoiled me enough today with the breakfast at the garden, not to mention you bought me gifts" you smiled, tucking his fluffy hair behind his ear.

That bewildered the man in front of you. If you were so pleased today, why did Fu Xuan upsetly scold him for an hour straight and tell him to step up his game with you.

"What's with the long face, Yuan?" You said, tilting your head, wondering what he was thinking.

“I thought you were mad at me”

“Yuan why would i be mad at you?”

"Lady Fu Xuan visited me this afternoon after you had tea with her” he said, soothing your face so that you could make eye contact with him.

"Yes, I recall texting you that beloved” you murmured.

"She said you were saddened by today's event; do you want me to host a big party for your wife?" Jing Yuan questioned with concern, his hands leaving your face and tracing little circles all over your back.

"No, it's not that I wasn't able to make it clear to Fu Xuan before; it has nothing to do with you, dear; you treat me so nicely, why would I be angry at you?"

"Nevertheless, my wife, I apologise if I make you feel neglected. Please tell me, wife, and I will fix myself for you" Jing Yuan said as he kissed your knuckles and nibbled your wrist.

A deep flush appears on your face, followed by his name and a light scolding for him. Oh, Jing Yuan, he knows what he's doing.

You watched as he sat down on the bed and pulled you to sit on his lap, burrying himself at your neck. "Now that I know you're not upset at me, may i know what's got you riled up, wife?" Jing Yuan mumbles at your neck before glancing at you and giving your chin a peck.

"Now that you mentioned it” a slight pout appears at the corner of your mouth. "Yanqing" you chirp.

"Yuan, have I been a bad mother?" Your voice is pleading and your eyes are getting glossy.

“My wife you will never be a bad mother infact our yanqing adores you-“

"Stop sugarcoating Yuan, if he adores his mother so much, he should be making me a card or saying happy Mother's Day mom" you ranted tiredly before pressing your forehead on Jing Yuan.

"I'm just saying we're losing Yanqing, and who knows if he still sees me as his mother" you whisper, a tear forming in the corner of your eye.

It was silent, but it felt nice to have the love of your life hug you and soothe the sobs you let out, never telling you to stop.

———

Jing Yuan put you on the bed an hour after you cried out to him about your worries. He makes sure to speak with Yanqing in the morning, but tonight his main focus is on you.

He watched as you dozed off on the silky pillows, your face a little swollen from sobbing, but Jing Yuan adores every version of you. And he wouldn't have it any other way.

A small knock on the door interrupted his thoughts, snapping him back to reality. He carefully stood up, making sure not to shift the bed and wake you up. 

There he is the mastermind behind your tears yanqing

"Oh" Yanqing said, not expecting Jing Yuan to open the door. "Oh indeed my child, do you need anything?" He chuckled quietly.

"Is Mom there?" I made a card for her as promised, and I won't stop giving her cards for every occasion." Yanqing stated clearly unaware of the circumstances.

"Yuan, who is there?" You questioned, voice sluggish. You seemed woken up by the conversation, and he then opens the door slightly for you to see Yanqing.

"My baby" you sat up fast, watching him make his way to you and giving you a card he drew with the words "Happy Mother's Day" written on it.

"Happy Mother's Day, Mom," Yanqing said, hugging you warmly "I thought you forgot about me”

“Never mom i love you more than the general”

“You do know i’m here yanqing?”

———

Bonus:

Jing Yuan yawned, sitting on the floor, his head resting at the corner of the bed. He watch as yanqing take his bed space while you two slumber warmly.

"Maybe next year, Jing Yuan” he whispers to himself. They say jealousy is a ugly thing.

[multifandomlover01]

Not Technically Mine…But Still Unequivocally Mine

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (not AFAB specific)

WC: ~2.9k

Warnings: reader is undercover bait, very scummy suspect, very uncomfy situation and dialogue, touching, Spencer is concerned for her safety, biological male reaction mention, strangulation mention but not depicted, the b word is used to describe the reader, he spits on her too

Summary: (based off a post by @hereforhalstead and fic semi-requested by @ribbongrll) Reader has to go undercover as bait to lure in a suspect, and Spencer is not happy about it. He’s very protective and almost caused the mission to not be completed

Note: I envisioned post prison Spencer for this so it’s like S13-15 (JJ and Luke are in here), also third person and idk what’s happening with the tenses. Also a bit repetitive? Bit annoying?

Spencer absolutely fucking hated it whenever he had to be in a club or a bar for a case. It didn’t matter how much time he had to spend in the building. He got anxious and overstimulated very quickly. The only thing that made it worse was when some guy flirted with his equally as anxious female coworker (who was also his best friend who he was also in love with). Every time a guy would flirt with her while she just stood there, uncomfortable and silent, his heart broke. He’d glare at the guy and if he still didn’t take that hint, say something. Luckily, this usually took care of any further interaction.

Apparently the only thing worse than some guy flirting with his best friend/crush was her being bait for a suspect. She was his exact type, physically speaking and personality wise. Spencer almost immediately objected when he saw the form fitting and revealing dress that JJ had helped her pick out. But he doubted he’d be able to convince Prentiss and Rossi to ditch the plan. It was the best one they had. At least Spencer got to go undercover with her as her date…although he didn’t know if this actually would make the situation better or worse.

He didn’t even notice that his hand was brushing against hers the whole ride. He also didn’t notice that he was sweating a little bit.

“You’d better not do that in the club…you’ll give us away.” She teases and he doesn’t know what she’s talking about until he is suddenly physically aware of the perspiration.

He chuckles. “I won’t. Don’t worry.” He takes a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabs his face and neck.

They arrive at the club. He gets out of the vehicle and helps her out. He suppressed a groan when she tugs on her dress to futilely get it to cover more of her thighs. He gingerly grasps her hand and leads her inside.

“Remember…be your shy sweet self but not too reserved and reluctant because we need-”

“The suspect outside, yes, I know, Spence. We’ll be ok.” She chuckles as she looks at him.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.” He frowns.

“You think I want to get hurt.” She furrows her eyebrows.

“Of course not.” He shakes his head, smiling some. “But it’s my job to protect you and…I don’t wanna fail.”

“I have to let him get me outside, isolated and alone so that JJ and Luke can apprehend him. You can’t protect me once I’m on my own with him.” She states what he was trying not to think about. She was right, though, of course.

“Just…be careful, ok?” He squeezed her hand.

“I will, don’t worry.” She squeezed his back. “Hey, I’ve done better for longer on my field training that you have, remember?”

“I remember when you had to help me pass my test to still be qualified to carry a gun and be in the field.”

“And now you don’t even need my help. You’ve gotten better and I’m proud of you. There’s always room for improvement…even for me. I’ll be fine. I promise.”

Spencer still wasn’t sure about this whole situation as they took a seat at the bar at the club. There was only one seat available. Spencer thought about letting her take it as the lady while he stood but then an idea he liked struck him. He sat down on the bar stool, took a hold of her waist and hoisted her up into his lap. He held her tightly to him as he had his arms wrapped around her waist.

“What’re you doing?” She asked, slightly confused by his behavior.

“I’m your date. I’m being…friendly.”

“That’s not why.” She huffs slightly.

“Alright…I’m protecting you, then.” His breath tickles her ear.

“Do I have to be in your lap?”

“I would say that…yes, you do.” He said rather definitively.

They ordered drinks (he made sure to order her a virgin cocktail so she had no actual alcohol in her system, not only was this regulation for an undercover agent, but he knew the last thing he wanted was for her cognition to not be at 100%). They sipped their drinks as she remained in his lap.

Spencer remained vigilant to his surroundings when she had to be more subtle about it to maintain her “oblivious” undercover role. He was grateful that it made sense for a girl’s date to want to ward off any potential girl stealers. He was not so grateful that the suspect did not care about that (even if the whole point of being bait and undercover as a couple was to lure him in to apprehend him).

It didn’t escape her notice that he’d tighten his grip around her whenever any guy got particularly physically close to her for whatever reason (even if it was as innocuous as standing beside her at the bar to order drinks) even if they didn’t even glance at her, let alone talk to her.

“You can relax some, you know. The suspect is going to be much bolder. You don’t have to spike your poor heart rate over every little thing.”

“I care about you. I won’t have you getting hurt.”

“We went over this. I’m perfectly capable of-”

“I know, I know you are, ok? It’s not…it’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s-”

“Excuse me…” An overly charming and soft voice says, cutting Spencer off.

Their eyes immediately flit over to the man that had suddenly appeared. Spencer’s blood runs cold when he realizes that this is the man that matches the descriptions that the bartenders and patrons had given.

Spencer tenses, gripping her hips tightly as he holds her to him.

“I was just at that table over there and couldn’t help notice this…vision of loveliness right here.” He smiles as his hand rests on her knee. She cringes. Spencer’s blood boils.

“Don’t touch her.” He says in a dangerously low tone.

“Oh come on…I’m not gonna hurt the little lady. I’m merely…admiring her.” He steps ever so closer.

“Back off.” Spencer says, or rather…he grits it out. His grip on her hips tightens and she’s starting to wonder if they’ll bruise if he grips any tighter or if he does so for long.

“Oh come on…don’t be such a hard ass. What do you say, darling? How’s about…you and I…ditch this guy and I’ll show you a real good time.” Spencer wishes he could punch that stupid smirk off his face and break his hand as it slides further up her thigh. She’s squirming in his lap, pressing back into him (which doesn’t help another situation).

“You won’t. She’s clearly uncomfortable. You should take a hint and piss off.”

While she is in actuality very uncomfortable around this man, she knows she needs to get him outside.

“Well I…” She forces herself to scoot a bit off of Spencer’s lap and closer to the man. Spencer doesn’t loosen the grip on her hips and pulls her back against him.

“See? The lady here does seem interested.” His smirk hasn’t disappeared as his fingers are now at the hem of her dress.

Spencer has to fight between his instinct to get her as far away from this man as possible and his recognition of the mission. He just glares at the man. Reluctantly, he keeps his mouth shut.

“That’s it…listen to your girl here. Come on, honey. He seems like a real fun guy but…I promise to show you a night you’ll never forget. You’ll feel things you’ve never felt before.”

She scoots off Spencer’s lap a bit and he reluctantly loosens his grip. The man wastes no time sliding an arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him. She lets him lead her away. Spencer’s knuckles turn white against the bar counter as he sees the bastard caress her and then sees his hand move lower and squeeze her ass.

He just prays that she can keep herself safe with her training. She couldn’t wear a wire or anything. But he had one to inform JJ and Luke that they were on their way out to them. All he had to do was wait. He heard the confirmation that they’d made it outside and had been spotted by the agents placed there in the alley.

“Guys…tell me what’s going on.” Spencer murmurs into the mic.

“She’s fine. Just sit tight, Spence.” JJ tries to calm him down. It doesn’t work.

“Don’t tell me to just sit tight, JJ. I…I can’t just sit tight knowing she’s out there with that monster. You’ve got eyes on her. Please tell me she’s ok.” Spencer says pleadingly.

“She’s handling herself, man, ok? She’s capable.” Luke now tries to assuage Spencer’s fears. This also is not successful.

“That’s also not what I asked, Luke.”

Spencer hears Luke sigh. “He’s got her up against the alley wall, ok?”

“Well what’s he doing to her?”

“Spence-”

“What’s he doing?” Spencer insisted.

“Well he’s…fondling her…kissing her neck.”

“Jesus Christ…when are you guys gonna apprehend him? What if he hurts her?” Spencer is starting to get very concerned.

“We have to wait.”

“For what?! For him to strangle her?!”

“We need to wait until there is probable cause for an arrest. She’ll fend him off and he’ll push too far.”

“But how far? Does her dress have to be ripped? Does she have to be humiliated coming back in here?” Spencer was getting angry at his friends. They knew how much he cared about her. He didn’t often get like this.

“Just another minute or so, then we’ll go, ok?” Luke says, hoping again that this’ll calm him.

“Ok…only that…no longer. You can’t leave her with him for longer than that. Please…please protect her.” Spencer says softly.

“We will, Spence. We promise.”

“Thank you.” He sighs in relief.

It is indeed only another minute or two before go time, with JJ and Luke revealing themselves to the suspect. He is startled when two FBI agents with guns come out of the shadows. But before he can get angry and lash out at them, he turns that anger towards his potential victim.

“You…bitch!” He seethes, spitting in her face, causing her to gasp. This causes Luke to push him against the wall as he handcuffs him.

“Alright. That’s enough, buddy. We’re taking you in now.”

“You set me up? This was a set up?! I didn’t do anything! You pigs set me up!” He yells as Luke wrestled him over and into a squad car down at the end of the alley.

JJ comforts her briefly as she stands shaking slightly against the wall.

“Go back inside. Spence is quite anxious to see you.”

She chuckles. “Yeah, I bet.”

She wanders back inside the club, tugging her dress to get it back in place, wiping her smudged lipstick off, wiping the spit off as well.

Spencer is out of his seat like a rocket and bounding towards her the second he sees her enter the door she’d exited out of. He doesn’t say anything as he engulfs her in a tight embrace.

“I’m so glad you’re ok.” He whispered softly in her ear.

“I’m always ok.”

“You don’t have to be. It’s ok to not be ok.” He caressed her back.

“I know. But I’m ok.”

“What if…what if I’m not?” He holds her tightly to him. He buried his face in her neck.

“Why would you…not be ok? I’m…I’m fine.”

“You don’t understand, hon. This whole thing…has been near torturous for me. Watching that man…talk to you…flirt with you…touch you and knowing he was…” He’s shaking now and he doesn’t even realize it.

She caresses his back. “Hey…hey…it’s ok. I’m ok. It’s all over now.” She whispered softly.

“I just didn’t want you to get hurt. If that monster had hurt you…”

“Why don’t we get out of here, huh? I think we should go.”

“Fucking finally.” He groans as he wraps an arm around her waist and swiftly makes his way with her to the front exit of the club. He takes a nice deep breath once he’s exposed to the cool night air. He didn’t even realize how suffocating that environment was to him.

He helps her back into the vehicle as it’s brought around and still keeps her close to him as they head to the hotel to decompress for the night.

Once in the calm peaceful safety of the hotel room, he grabs his sleepwear from his bag and then gets hers for her as well. She had retreated to the bathroom to remove her makeup and take the dress off. Spencer enters the bathroom without knocking. He gets an eyeful of his best friend in her underwear and his face turns red.

“Oh um…I’ll just…leave these here. Sorry.” He puts her sleep wear on the counter and turns quickly to leave, shutting the door behind him.

He changes outside the bathroom in the room, still very embarrassed about his faux pas. He should’ve knocked. He just had so much on his mind at that moment that he’d completely forgotten to do it.

He occupied himself with a book as he sat up on the bed. His head lifts when he hears the bathroom door open. As beautiful as she’d looked in that dress and makeup, she looked infinitely more comfortable in her sleep wear and with no makeup. And because she seemed so comfortable and relaxed now, she somehow seemed even more radiant to him.

“Hey.” He says softly as he smiles at her. “Feeling better?”

“Much better. Thank you.” She smiles back at him as she sits on her own bed.

He looks over at her as she gets her own book out to relax. She goes to put her earbuds in her ear and he stops her. He knows she’s going to listen to music.

“You don’t have to put those in. You can just…play it from the phone.”

She looks over at him. “Really? You’re sure? I dunno how you’re gonna feel about some of the music.”

“It’s fine. I’ll listen to whatever you wanna listen to.” He shrugged. He very much wanted to relax and listen to music together with her instead of it seeming like they were doing it separately.

“Ok. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, though.” She chuckles as she puts her earbuds away and turns the volume up on her phone to prepare to play her music.

“It can’t be that bad.”

“You say that now.” She smirks as she presses play.

Classical music starts to play.

“What do you mean you warned me? That’s just Mozart!” He exclaimed.

“For now.”

“Oh for now.” He chuckles, shaking his head. “What’s next…Wagner? Don’t get crazy now.”

“Oh you just wait, Reid…just you wait.”

“Don’t tell me you have Hans Zimmer on there. That’d be really crazy.” He joked.

“Something wrong with movie and tv soundtracks?”

“No, not at all! I love them too. I’m merely amused at what you consider crazy.”

His smile falls when metal music starts playing. She laughs at his confused expression.

“I told you I warned you!”

“Now I’m concerned about what you consider relaxing.” He raises his eyebrows.

“I can always put my earbuds in.” She offers, pointing to them.

“No…no. It’s fine. Then I’d just be concerned for your hearing.” He shakes his head.

“You’re awfully concerned about me a lot of the time.” She notes, pausing the music.

“Of course I am. You’re my best friend. I care about you.”

“Well yeah but…how much?” She queried.

“What do you mean?” He cocks his head.

She scoffs. “You know what I mean, genius. Now answer the question.”

“Well…um…I suppose that…the answer is…a lot.” His gaze is averted from her.

“Spencer…look at me please.” She requests softly.

He obeys and his gaze lifts to meet here. “Yes?” He asks softly.

“Enough to almost blow our chance of catching that scum?”

He chuckled sheepishly, remembering what he’d done. “Yeah…that much.”

She puts her book down and stands up, going over to his bed. He looks up at her as she stands in front of him. She smiles down at him as she reaches up to cup his face. He smiles back up at her, letting her touch him. He wasn’t bothered by her touch.

“You were really scared, weren’t you?” She asks softly.

“I was terrified.”

“Even though I can handle myself?”

“I know you can. That wasn’t the issue. The issue was…” he trails off and his gaze averts briefly.

“Yes?”

“I couldn’t rationalize it in my mind. I knew you could handle yourself but that didn’t seem to matter. I was still scared. I couldn’t calm down. All of my nerves were on edge.”

“But why? If you knew I’d be fine…why worry?”

“Because…I care about you…because…because I think I love you. No…that’s not…I-I know that I love you.”

“You love me? Really?” She smiles.

“Oh absolutely.” He smiled back. “I think I have for quite a while now, I just…I just didn’t know how to express that to you. I could never…find the right words.”

“You couldn’t find the right words?” She chuckles lightly.

“Believe it or not, no. But I’ve…I’ve never been very good at expressing my feelings.”

“Well…the great thing about feelings is…you don’t necessarily need words to express them.”

“You don’t?” He looked at her quizzically.

She shakes her head. “No. You don’t. Actions work just as well.”

“Act-”

She cuts him off for the first time ever by leaning down to kiss him softly. He smiles softly and presses into the kiss. He’s waited so long to feel her lips against his. And it’s just as wonderful as he imagined it would be.

[soapoet]

A letter from your future spouse

like & rb if it resonates ♡

01.

Hello,

You must be up to something, because I cannot get you off my mind. Day and night you haunt me. I type away on my computer, answer phone calls, and I could swear I saw you in the corner of my eyes. At night as I begin to drift, I hear your voice and jolt up, only to be met with an empty room entirely void of you. When you're really here with me in the flesh, I look at you only when you look away. Will I be punished for these stolen glances? You and I, are we forbidden, and if so, who will be the judge?

I thought my life was stable, and in many ways it was. Though it was painted grey, dull. I lived dreary mondays every day of the week. I chased after new experiences, new achievements, new opportunities, new things. New, new, new, new. But it was not until you walked into my life that I truly felt the warmth of the sun and the rain on my skin. Was I colour blind all along? Because you show me colours I never even knew existed. You were truly new. A new light in my life that shines so brightly, but never hurts my eyes. Still I look away. It's not proper, is it? I've been caught up in the crossfire, amidst a battle between head and heart. You're in my heart, you have it in your hands, but didn't I say you are constantly on my mind too? It seems then, my dear, that this battle has a victor, and now I must prcoeed to gather up the courage to speak what I've so carefully kept hidden.

Oh, but you're so observant. You already know. You knew all along, didn't you? You so innocently sat there, knowing I'm a moth to the flame, and that come hail or shine I would find my way to you. You're a mastermind. An architect, the keeper of the blueprint to our tale. I am in awe of you. You were supposed to be a problem, a silly crush I could get over and never act upon, but now I'm thinking of things borrowed and blue. The first day that I saw you lightning struck. It marked the beginning of the end for many things in my life which I had kept around because it was fine. Not perfect, just fine. Suddenly I saw all the cracks and flaws, saw that which I would tolerate, go along with, even when I really didn't want to. You shook me to my core. In many ways, you ruined my life. For the better, I am sure. But for a moment there I wondered what horrors you had unleashed upon me. With your face so sweet and innocent I thought surely you would be unable to trigger earthquakes. And that even if you could, surely you were much too sweet and much too kind to do such thing.

Yet here I stand, amidst the rubble of what I used to call my life. Everything came crashing down because none of it was as stable as it should've been. I'm rebuilding, slowly, and could use some guidance or inspiration. What's your favourite colour? Would you like these tiles for the kitchen? I want to build my life up to look like the perfect home for you. I wish to keep you safe. You've weathered storms just as I have. Had to grow quickly, like dandelions through concrete. You're tired, and I don't want to see you quitting so I am building you a shelter. I promise to keep watch while you get some rest in my arms. When you're healed and strong enough I will provide you the space and time so you can chase your dreams in peace. You can use our home as the foundation for your castle. I know the power you hold, and I will be there to help you wield it.

Sincerely, your future spouse.

02.

Hello,

Coincidentally that is exactly when I knew. "You had me at hello" is such a cliché, but I swear that it is true. I always know trouble when I see it, and you are quite the nightmare indeed. I hope you take no offence to my words. I say what I mean and mean what I say. That typically results in problems, but to me it's another one to toss onto the existing pile. I have a lot of baggage, but if you don't mind, I won't mind yours. Maybe we could get a big storage locker and shove all our baggage in there, lock the door and toss the keys, skip town and never return. It'll all be auctioned off one day for somebody else to deal with. Wouldn't that be nice?

Where was I? Right. Hello. That's when I knew. I always do. I fall very quickly and passionately. Really I leap off into free fall all by my own judgement, sometimes perhaps lack thereof. I know a pretty thing when I see it, though pretty isn't enough, is it? I've learned that the hard way. As I've learned most things. Behind me lays a trail of burnt bridges and broken hearts, though most of those pieces are my own. Most people are unable to tell. I have a reputation, but I think the judgement is unjust. Wholly unfair. I have developed trust issues. Betrayal cuts deep. You know that, don't you? I keep people at bay, and guard my territory fiercly. I am very loyal and I am known for my equal bark and bite. I want to be your guard dog. I swear I will lunge for the jugular if anybody dares cross you. I am protective, albeit a little reckless. I have a lot of scars to prove it.

Little birdies may warn you of me. Tell twisted tales of my exploits. I've been called toxic. Perhaps there is truth to some of it. My love burns bright and hot, but it never wavers. I crave closeness, and wish to crawl into the heart and mind of my target of affections like a spider trespassing into your home to weave its webs in the darkest corners. I want to know you better than anybody else. Know your body, mind, heart, and your soul like it is my own. You will never be left wanting reassurance, because I have known doubt, and doubt is my enemy and I will fight it on sight. You will always know that I am yours. With me you have nothing to fear. Least of all me or my commitment to you and us.

Perhaps we both had to scrape our knees as we crawled through painful loves before we found each other. Together we'll be powerful. A dynamic duo, partners in crime. Those closest to me would come forward as witnesses to my ride or die nature, and you as my life partner will be my biggest testament to this part of my character. You're not too different, are you? You would die for your people, fight with your bare hands if you had to. Together we will face the world. I'll have your back and you'll have mine, a 360° of the battlefield. We can tear down and build up whatever we want. We can build an empire, or bring them down. With you by my side, everything is possible. I would move mountains and part seas for you. Your love is an enchanted rose and I am a beast, and I will wait for you. Come to me quickly.

Sincerely, your future spouse.

03.

Hello,

I hope my words don't bore you with their simplicity. I also hope that you've been well. I have so many questions, but let us not rush. There is no finish line in love, correct? I've been alright. Y'know, ups and downs. I've kept to myself a lot. Self improvement has become akin to an occupation. I always strive to do and be better. I may not seem the kind, but I have a soft heart which I guard closely. I like old timey romance and watch sappy things when I am down. Please don't tell anybody! I am a rock, but for a long time I was but a pebble, kicked around and misplaced. I have moved around a lot and all I want is to grow roots. Would you mind sparing a little spot in your garden? I just need a little sunlight and a fall of rain to grow. I promise I won't waste your time and do my all to never disappoint you.

My affections build slowly. Too slow for many, but I hate accidents and mistakes, at least my own. I strive for perfection, though people tell me it does not exist. I see it in you, though, so they must be wrong. Sure, you have your flaws, but the glue between your cracks glisten in the light and are still beautiful to me. I really do enjoy the simple things. Do you stop to smell the roses too? I have a gentle love to offer. A kitchen bathed in morning sunlight and the smell of pancakes in the air. I'll eat the first pancakes, because the ones I bring to you in bed should be perfect, and the first one never is. You deserve so much good, and I really hope I can provide a lot of that good to you by my own hands.

I am shy, and don't always have a way with words. I will tell you through music how I feel, or paint you on a canvas in all your favourite colours. I'll help you sculpt your dreams and wishes. I'd make a great assistant. I would love to follow you on your way up ladders and mountains. I believe in you like some believe in a higher power. You can put your faith in me too. Love is a choice, and I will make the choice to love you every morning when I rise. You are the kind of fun that doesn't make me ill. The adventure I am unafraid to embark on. We can play our own roles and support each other. I'll be of service to you at every step if you need me. In return I only ask that you hold me close and never let me go.

I fear abandonment, and have known a life without guidance. I've become rigid, and hope that you'll help me bend without snapping and show me the wonders of the unknown. With you by my side I won't be afraid. My skepticism will not be a hindrance because you lead me into uncharted territory as though you have a map, and I trust that you know where we're going. And should uncertainty rise, well, I have dealt with that beast plenty, and I can tame it and send it on its way should it bother you. I will always stand by you so that never again will you need to face challenges alone. You are a promise I will keep forever if you let me.

Sincerely, your future spouse.

04.

Hello,

Have you eaten? Taken your meds? Keep yourself hydrated. Take even just a sip. I apologise if I'm fussing, but I've always been a caregiver. People depend on me. At home, at work, even my friends. I get taken advantage of pretty easily, and I try my best to keep my boundaries. Though I am admittededly prone to a bit of a saviour complex. It's not so much that I don't think others cannot get up on their own, I just think they shouldn't have to. A helping hand is often rare these days. For many, even just the day to day grind is unbearable, so any chance to take the load off another's shoulders and let them rest and catch their breath I'll happily take.

I try my best to be fair, but often lose sight of what's best for me. I want to help and support everyone who needs it, but in my quest to save everyone, I have often abandoned myself. My care is often expected and thus taken for granted. Nobody seems to understand how much it hurts. Well, until I met you anyway. You're a little fire cracker. You have a great presence despite your size. You're honest and so very clever. I was instantly in awe by your radiance, your willpower, your resilience and your strength. You taught me important lessons. I'm older than you but sometimes I feel like a student listening to my teacher preach. You're opinionated and steadfast, and have such a strong sense of justice. You call it like it is, and have called me out aplenty. Always well-intentioned. You get worked up easily, and I find it rather cute. You scold me like a parent their child when I don't take up enough space, don't hold my head high, or when I give away too much for free. You are objective and fair, never tell me I'm right or wrong unless I really am. It's refreshing. You're like a breath of fresh air.

It pains me to hear of your past. How you've been to hell and back. You face struggles even when you really can't or feel like giving up. You always get back up again, always try to find another way around when an obstacle sits in the way of where you're going. You've lived life on hardmode, and now I yearn to make things easier for you. You if anyone deserves my devotion. I know you are much too just to take advantage of my kindness and return my love in earnest. I trust you, and that says a lot as I've only ever been able to trust myself.

Would you let me be your safe space? We can build you a nest and make sure you have the nicest, softest things and plenty of snacks. I wish to provide you the space and time to really relax and let your guard down. You can safely get in touch with your inner child and heal them from all their past wounds. I will guard your sanctuary and let you be free and able to go wherever your heart desires. Let your curiosity guide you, and I will follow and keep bandaids in my pocket should you stumble and fall. You don't need to be strong all the time, and you need not be ready for battle at all hours of the day. I will take the wheel and take us in the direction of your choice whilst you rest safe and sound for as long and as much as you want and need.

Sincerely, your future spouse.

05.

Hello,

Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear, ay? Am I late, or were you just early? It seems as though you've been waiting a long time. Wasted your time kissing a whole lot of frogs, huh? Settled for good enough? Jumped from ship to ship like a pirate looking for the best loot? Well, congratulations! You made it. I'm here now! I'm just kidding, but I am, in fact, very happy now that you found me. Lots of hurdles to get over, had to crumple up many plans and ideas and kick yourself into gear on the career front. I'm far from your finish line, I am merely a little prize for a job well done. And now you'll have me by your side for the next chapters. Oh, the adventures we will have! How exciting, I can hardly wait.

Something important you had to learn before you got here is beating the status quo to the curb. You always did struggle with fitting into a neat little box and following orders, didn't you? Yet so many fools tried to bend your will and make you follow a nice little step by step pre-determined program. Hah, as if you'd ever be happy giving up your freedom like that. And I adore that about you. To hell with the status quo. I never do what is expected of me unless I myself set or agreed to those expectations. This is my life, and your life is yours. Wanna dance? Because I'll choose to court you on sight, and I hope you don't make me look like yet another fool because truly, I tell you, our dance will be an exhilarating one. We can both lead, because screw the rules!

Do not mistake my arrogance and my eleutheromania as purely egoic and a sign of wavering commitment. Though I have my admirers and my comrades, I am fiercly loyal. I do intend to flaunt you, because you are a dream come true worthy of the spotlight. I hope you're not shy, and if you are, then well, it'll be that much more entertaining for me to see you flustered by all the attention and applause. So learn to take a compliment, kiddo, because you just hit the jackpot and the prize includes a lifetime supply of praise. Along with a steadfast support system, as not only will I be at your beck and call, I fully intend to introduce you to my network of friends in higher places. Fret not, because your wildest dreams will soon appear mundane as together with some found family we will get where you are going so much faster than you've been going before.

Speaking of family, I'm not very close with mine. Perhaps neither are you, so you will understand the feeling of always having to do everything yourself and not having the kind of safety net that a family can provide. This is why I have collected friends over the years to whom I serve as family and they the same for me in return. In my anxieties of abandonment and neglect, I do everything in my power to help and support my loved ones because I know what it feels like to be without as much as encouragement on this journey of life. If you ever need some kind words, I'll be sure to whisper them in your ear and shout your name from the rooftops. You deserve the world, so pack your bags. We have tickets to explore it all.

Sincerely, your future spouse.

06.

Hello,

I pray you did not hear me talking to myself. I cry out into the void often. My mind, always abuzz with what ifs and wonder, has its way of driving me mad. Often I feel like a mad scientist, fixated on something so long I fail to take care of all my human needs. Before I know it, the sun has set and made way for the night. I recognise the passing of time only when I notice it is dark and the only source of light is the screen right on front of me. I have so many tabs open in my head I don't always notice what goes on around me. But you startled me. Admittededly I did not notice right away, but when I did I was shocked. It must've been weeks before I zoned out, watching your face as I thought of absolutely nothing. I waited for you to finish whatever it was that you were occupied with, and then it hit me. You're beautiful and I like you.

It feels easy to be around you. I can't say the same for many people, if any. I have had plenty of offers, but competing against my solitude is difficult. A race few finish, and none truly come out of as the victor. I get bored easily, and I must be honest and admit that though I may be quickly intrigued and glue myself to my newest interest, my attention is hard to keep. I enjoy the rush of newness, and yearn for a love that stays fresh and full of intrigue. And I found that in you. For you lead your own life, explore your own paths, then report back to me your newest finds. We pick apart things and situations like mechanics figuring out all the parts of a new machine. Then we go and find new things to inevitably share, and sometimes we journey together too. There is always something. I no longer feel like I am the only one keeping the conversation going. No longer the one in charge of every who and what and how and why and when and where. You pull your own weight. For once I, too, feel fascinating. And not only do I feel interesting, I find you equally interesting. It didn't drop for either of us.

Some may look at us strangely, but good heavens, are some people so easily lulled into a boring and mundane routine. Every time I would cry out my woes, I was called childish. Told that love will and should settle into a comfortable and steady routine. That it is normal for the excitement of newness to fade as you get to know someone. I refused to believe every relationship was doomed to become such a snooze. And I am glad you did too, because you keep growing as I grow and our vines they intertwine and part ways and cross again in this intricate web of possibilities. To know you is to be a student of law or medicine. Doctors and lawyers practice their craft, they're not fixed by a mere degree because neither law or medicine is fixed. It is ever-changing and developing. I pinch myself because I can hardly believe I found another student like me.

Never fear I will leave you feeling stupid. I am aware of my own merit, but never wield it against anyone, unless needed. You are very clever and you have strengths and skills that I do not. I promise to be there to listen, especially in times when nobody else will. I have known loneliness and neglect. My curiosity is a form of escapism as I run away from the eldritch horrors of my past. Please be direct with me. Within me lives a tired old hopeless romantic, whom I locked away in shame as I was told it never plays out like in the movies. But you've proved to me that it actually does. And for you I'll do anything. Though you sometimes leave me tongue tied and flustered, you stabilize me. As thanks you'll have my loyalty and devotion. I'm used to taking care of others, and I know my care won't be misplaced on you. I read people easily already, but please allow me to study your face and note down every micro-expression so that I will always be able to tell how you are feeling even when you feel unable to put it into words.

Sincerely, your future spouse.

[midnightarcheress]

woke up wanting to write something with my pretty boy kyle and this was born.

cw: nsfw. f!reader. gaz obsessing over the pretty college girl by his side. implied future stalking ig? unedited. part one | part two

someone catches Kyle’s attention on the plane.

his legs are on the verge of cramping and his breath is ragged, running to board his connection flight at the last call. after falling off a helicopter twice in the last operations, he developed an uneasiness of flying, no matter the aircraft, preferring taking the train over being miles up in the air, even if it triples the travel. but this time, he just wanted to get home the fastest way possible for a much-needed night of sleep in his own bed, instead of the barely cushioned military-issued mattress.

he hopped on the plane and made his way through the corridor, gaze fixed on the numbers under the luggage rack, attentively looking for his spot. he stopped by row thirteen, eyes darting between the number and the woman on the window seat. i could’ve sworn i marked that one when i booked? Kyle checks the boarding ticket again – row 13, seat A. it’s the right seat, why is there someone on it? 

an annoyed sigh escapes his lips, gathering the energy to speak up and reclaim his rightfully bought seat. the problem is, he gets ultimately struck when the seat-thief notices him standing and turns to face him. wide eyes meet his brown ones, immediately softening at the sight of your tempting glossy lips and delicate fingers pushing a lock of hair behind your ear. pretty little thing.

“i’m sorry, is this your seat? it was empty on the first flight,” you say, an apologetic tone in your voice as you frantically close the book on your lap and shove it in a bag, “i’ll move back for you–”

“it’s alright, keep it.” he interrupts, throwing his carry-on in the rack and taking the empty middle spot beside you. he smirks at your appreciative nod and watches you settling again on the backrest, buckling the seatbelt at the shining signal hovering your heads and paying extra attention to the flight attendant announcements, even when no one around seems to care. sweet girl, so considerate to everyone.

the plane starts speeding on the runway, and from his peripheral he views your squeezed eyes and nearly white fingers gripping the armrest, breathing quickening during the gravity push of the take off. it takes a moment for you to release your tight grasp and exhale, making his hand twitch with an urge to soothe you, tell you that you’re safe.

he shakes the sensation and leans his head back, focusing on the one thing he can do to pass the time – sleep. but he can’t keep his gaze out of you, glancing to his left whenever you make a movement, no matter how small. the rapid keyboard tapping guides his irises to your laptop screen, catching a few words in a sea of what for him sounds like an alien language. DNA strand? allele? locus mutation?

he sneaks a look through your figure and his eyes land on the familiar blue logo on your hoodie, the same one he always sees on the walk from the market to his flat. uni a couple blocks from me. do you live on campus? or nearby? that neighborhood is awful at night, full of old blokes searching the pubs for a quick fuck with a naive college girl. but you seem smart, not the type to fall for their tricks, right?

the harder he tries to avoid your presence, the more you make yourself known, almost making him feel like it’s on purpose. the way your plump lips wrap on the water bottle, slight drop scaping on the corner and trailing down your neck, your flowery perfume filling his nostrils when you shift on your seat to remove the top layer of your clothing, exposing the low-cut blouse underneath and the soft roundness of your tits. is that for me, sweet girl? need a break from studying so hard? the sudden tightness of his trousers brings him back to his senses, stirring the thought out of his brain. 

keep it cool, Garrick, he repeats over and over in his mind, ignoring the tent forming on his lap and praying to whatever god is out there that you won’t see it, even while standing up and brushing your legs on his knees to get to the corridor due the cramped space. however, he doesn’t miss how the guy by his side shamelessly ogles your cleavage when you step past him, making his blood boil and his fists clench – like he wasn’t doing the same exact thing minutes before.

while you're away, he glances at your screen again, noticing the constant message notifications from the contact ‘Marcus - DO NOT ANSWER’. already looking bad for you, mate. curiosity takes hold of him and he starts reading the texts, silently chuckling at the guy’s pathetic attempts to get your attention. what did he do to earn a cold shoulder, sweetheart? did he hurt you? didn’t he pay enough attention to you? i bet he couldn’t even fuck you the way you deserve. 

he keeps skimming the messages until the grin tugging on the corners of his mouth fades into a frown when he reads ‘you’re gonna regret leaving me’. now, who’s this prick? think you’ll get away with threatening my girl?

his body stiffens when you come back, eyes darting back to the small telly in front of him when your hand brushes on his thigh while sitting once again. he hears your irritated huff when you skim through the messages, shutting the laptop with near violence. i can take care of him for you, love. you won’t have to deal with that by yourself anymore. 

the pilot’s muffled voice coming through the speakers and announcing the landing shortens his daydreams about getting rid of Marcus. it would be a great way to keep himself busy while on leave, making sure to do it fast and secretly, of course, just to protect his sweet little thing. poor guy wouldn’t even know what hit him.

the pressure change on his ear is the telltale sign of the aircraft lowering its altitude, landing gear out to hit the lane and brake the machine. he turns to the side, watching again your knitted eyebrows and how your nails dig into the seat. this time he doesn’t contain himself and his hand gently lingers over yours, the softness of it sending lightning strikes over his body and almost making him cum instantly. 

your glinting eyes find his face with a grateful gaze, lips mouthing a sugary thank you when the plane finally stops. he helps you take your handbag out of the rack with ease, using the situation to flaunt his muscles. i can even pick you up, darling. would love to feel your pretty thighs around my waist. you wouldn’t have to walk a day in your life. 

his eyes follow the sway of your hips through the airport, heart almost bursting when you wave goodbye and flash him a timid smile. you think that’s the last time you’ll see him, he thinks this is just the beginning. a name and university? he’s used to finding people with even less information. see you soon, sweet girl.

[seancekitsch]

Hazbin Hotel—Lucifer x Reader where he’s a love struck fool for reader? May or may not be inspired by that little imagine you posted not too long ago \(//∇//)\

uhhh this kinda got away from me. enjoy!!

You’d have to be a fool not to notice how the King of Hell acts around you, even Angel and Husk told you that. But you’re not blinded to situation, you know exactly what’s going on. You rest your elbow on the bar next to Angel as Charlie gathers the hotel residents and staff, a job not unlike herding cats. Everyone trickles in slowly, waiting for the next odd trust bond activity Charlie has come up with now. Last week was heartfelt letter writing, and the three of you at the bar had not taken it seriously. You handed Husk a comedic inner monologue about how much you needed to pee, Husk handed Angel a surprisingly detailed made up story about a talking whisky bottle, and Angel handed you a list of what roles he’d cast the entire hotel in a porno.

“What do you think they’ll have us do this time?” Husk mumbles to you, topping off your drink.

“Honestly, not a fan of the way Princess is smiling right now,” you answer.

Charlie waves everyone over, and Vaggie smiles uncomfortably, ready for everyone to start.

“Okay Good Afternoon,” Charlie starts, practically bouncing, “Today we’re going to try to form new bonds!”

Immediately, she’s met with groaning and mumbling, but thats never stopped her and it won’t today either.

“So what better way to do that then having a buddy for the next twenty four hours!” She shouts, and Vaggie’s face immediately makes sense.

“I’ve separated everyone from their regular group so they can build these bonds and be open!”

“…got something you could open…” you hear Angel mumble under his breath.

Charlie gives her dad a thumbs up.

“The first pairing is… my dad and Y/n!”

The Morningstar family sucks at being subtle or lying.

“So what did you have planned for the day?” Lucifer asks while sitting beside you, his voice short and clipped, his entire demeanor like he’s on high alert. It’s cute, really.

“Ah don’t worry about it,” you shrug, “What does the areat King of Hell do with his day?”

Lucifer rubs his neck, fidgeting under your question.

“It’s not… Its not actually all that interesting,” he admits, “You’ve probably got something cooler going on.”

There’s something he’s avoiding besides your gaze, but you don’t press the issue.

You look across the lobby to Angel, who pauses his conversation with Vaggie to mouth something that looked like the word “fart” to you, and then wink.

Your art gallery. Right.

“Have you ever been to Pentagram City’s biggest art gallery?” you ask him.

Lucifer is a gentleman. You understand how he stole the first man’s first two wives from him. Sure, he’s stumbling and stuttering and a nervous wreck, but he’s holding doors open for you and asking about your thoughts and feelings about the pieces on display, he’s accidentally on purpose almost held your hand three times now. Next time he does it, you’re just going to grab his damn hand.

You stare at the sculpture in front of you, noting that you should have someone move this to a different room. In fact, there’s a few things you’ve noticed while showing Lucifer the art that you should have moved around. Maybe you’ve been neglecting the gallery a bit more than you thought now that you live at the hotel.

“Hey, Can I ask you about these?” Lucifer’s voice booms from the next room over. Sighing, you type a quick note into your V-Phone and turn.

Oh shit.

Lucifer found THAT room.

You cross the threshold into the room you never go into, the room with your own work. Honestly, it’s not even curated the way the other rooms and floors are. This is where you put anything that you think can leave your studio. He’s in front of one of your biggest paintings, and one of your newest. It’s an abstract piece about your feelings about redemption, about your past sins, about adjusting to the hotel. Which it sounds stupid when you put it like that, but it made sense in the moment and you’re proud of it.

He turns and smiles before looking back at the painting.

“Is the uh, is the artist willing to sell this piece?” he asks, his cheeks and the tips of his ears turning red.

Now it’s your turn to get nervous. You’ve never actually sold any of your own pieces before.

“I uh- I’m not gonna sell it to you,” you tell him, “You can have it.”

It would be weird to take money from Lucifer, even if he is offering. You like him a decent amount and a transaction between the two of you would make it weird. It would feel like you owe him, even though your art would technically satisfy that. If he was one of the Vees or someone you dislike, you would have immediately taken money.

“But the artist-“

“Me,” you clarify, and you finally remember you don’t tag your own art. Lucifer’s jaw drops at your admission.

“I’d really like to support your work, it’s magnificent,” Lucifer insists, and you feel your cheeks burning. He turns to gesture to another piece, and his knuckles brush your own.

Fuck it. You told yourself you’d do it. You grab Lucifer’s hand in your own, a bold move.

“Just think about it as a gift,” you tell him, “A thank you for the lovely day we’ve had.”

You inwardly cringe, knowing that when you recount today at the lobby bar your drinking buddies are going to tear you a new one for that corny line. But it fits for Lucifer; he’s bringing out a side of you that you really haven’t seen in a while.

“Thank you uh, gorgeous,” he tacks on the pet name like even he isn’t sure about it, and with his hand still in yours, attempts to lean against a sculpture, stumbling as he misses it and bringing you along with him. He tugs you by the arm, jerking you closer to him. He’s majorly out of practice.

“I have a studio upstairs if you want to see more?” you offer, not really sure if you thought that through.

“More art? Absolutely!” He recovers quickly, enthusiasm dripping from his voice.

You smile as you pull him towards the hallway, butterflies in your stomach as it dawns on you that he’s going to be the only person besides you to see the studio.

You and Lucifer end up staying there until Charlie calls him the next morning.

You notice paint on his chin after you get back to the hotel.

[txt-trash]

friendly desires | choi soobin

summary: soobin is just a friend, he’s someone you talk to on occasion who you’ve struck a deal with one drunken night. if he helps you get with beomgyu, you’ll help him get with a girl he thinks he likes. what he didn’t expect was to fall for you instead when your attention drifted away from him.

➣ college au, smüt, fluff, friends to lovers

➣ friend!soobin x f!reader [she/her]

➣ 8.8k words

warnings: college, minors dni, fluff, smüt [oral {fïngering, handjob}. foreplay. breästplay. use of protection. doggy style. makeout. . honestly fluff at the end. soobin is kinda a himbo. jealous soobin. soobin is giving off switch energy. Soobin is a flirty/confident drunk.

song inspo: infrunami — steve lacy [you were right in front of me. girl, you’re the one I want]

Soobin couldn’t help but let his eyes haze over with a sort of calmness as he listened to you speak. He was drunk and tired but you were saying something that made him want to pay attention. He just looked so focused on what you were saying even with that lazy look in his eyes.

“Are you even listening?”

“Yeah,” he said as he took another sip of his beer trying to remember everything you had just told him, “You said something about having a crush on Beomgyu.”

“Oh my god don’t say that so loud,” you clung to his arm making him smirk wide enough to show one of those dimples of his as he looked around the packed apartment filled with drunk bodies.

“There’s nobody listening,” he said looking back at you. It’s true, the two of you were tucked away on a couch that had been pushed to a corner in the living room where a college party was currently being held. You released a sigh, “So? Somebody could be listening.”

“And yet they aren’t,” he whispered, still dazed from the alcohol as he leaned just a little closer to you. Finally, he got back to the topic, “And alright, you want me to help you get at Beomgyu? Fine, but I want something in return.”

Your brows furrowed, “I don’t need your help to that extent. I just want you to tell me some stuff about him.”

Soobin chuckled, “That’s lame, Y/n. What are you gonna do with that?”

You sighed looking straight forward in thought. You turned back to face him and said, “Fine. Maybe just set us up or something… but before I agree to anything I wanna know what you want first.”

“Easy, just get your friend Yuna to go on a date with me,” he said, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

You stared at him? “Yuna? You like Yuna?”

Soobin just shrugged, staring off into the distance, “I mean she’s cute.”

“I didn’t realize that was your type,” and you were being honest but not in a hostile way. Soobin was incredibly attractive but he’s not exactly your type. Or you don’t think he is anyway, you’ve never really thought about him at all like that.

“Eh, I’m trying something new,” Soobin said, slumping back on the couch, manspreading just slightly, holding his beer in hand between his legs. He looked at you waiting to see what you would say.

“She’s nice,” you said underwhelmingly so. Soobin smacked his lips in annoyance, “Too nice.”

You scoffed, “You’re such a masochist, you know?”

“Sue me, I like someone that takes the lead once in a while,” he said with a smirk that made you want to slap it right off his face.

“Um… no offense but you’re not Yuna’s type,” you chose to say instead of argue with him over the fact that he’s acting different than his usual shy self.

“What are you talking about, just look at me,” he said, making you sigh and roll your eyes as you slumped back, matching his relaxed position.

“Yes Bin you’re an attractive guy but she’s got a certain type, a complete book warm and she hates gym guys,” you said hearing him let out the loudest most dramatic sigh ever. Soobin looked down at his biceps, lifting his arm and flexing, “I’m not that big though.”

You looked at him like he had three heads. He smiled that lazy smile again as he shrugged, “Either way I’m not helping until you help me out too.”

You groaned in annoyance as you crossed your arms over your chest, “I’m not that desperate.”

He chuckled, “Sure.”

“I’m serious,” you argued with narrowed eyes as to why he was laughing.

“Yeah alright.”

With another roll of your eyes you huffed, “So what’s Beomgyu’s type?”

He released a stretched out sigh letting his eyes drift off somewhere else, “Don’t know.”

You glared at him but he pretended like he didn’t see it. He even had the nerve to yawn like he was just so bored talking to you that he was getting sleepy. You even sat forward to force him to look at you but he only side eyed you as you said, “Soobin.”

“Y/n.” He looked amused now knowing that any second you’ll go along with him. To him it’s an even trade; he gets you with Beomgyu, you get him with Yuna. Of course he won’t tell you that Beomgyu has already approached him about you, telling him you’re pretty.

“You’re really not gonna help me?” You asked now

but it’s rare for him to be making you the one nervous so how could he just give in?

“I would but I just don’t see me gaining anything from it,” he said with a shrug.

“Fine!” You gave in, bouncing in place just once as if to further prove your point, “I’ll help you go out with Yuna.”

“Perfect. Alright so Beomgyu doesn’t really have a type. Just someone pretty with a sense of humor,” he said, looking you up and down.

“That’s me,” you smiled hopefully while pointing at yourself with your thumb.

“Um sure,” he said just to annoy you because he likes when you get mad at him, especially right now that he’s drunk.

“Screw you,” you lightly hit his leg but he just smiled wanting to push you even further. “Don’t you wish.”

“Soobin, how drunk are you? 1-10?” You asked suddenly that he reacted on impulse and gave you the answer.

“8.5?”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” you said with a little scoff.

His brows furrowed, “Why?”

“Because where’s my shy bunny friend?” You asked jokingly.

“I’m not shy with you anymore…” he said and he noticed now that the head buzz was slowly leaving and he could focus more, “You just scare me but not in a bad way.”

“How—“ “Y/n! Are you ready?”

“You’re leaving?” You asked looking up at Taehyun, your dear friend who drove you to this party tonight. He nodded, “Yeah, I’ve got class early tomorrow.”

“Ugh, fine let’s go.” You said with a sigh as you began to stand up.

“Wait Y/n…” Soobin shook his head and you could make out the redness in his cheeks from drinking as he held your wrist to keep you in place, “We’re not done talking. I don’t want to be aloneeeee.”

“Text me.”

“Okay.”

To clear things up, you and Soobin are friends but you aren’t friends. You see each other occasionally and during that single class you share, you sit near each other and partner up when necessary. You’re more of a ‘we randomly ran into each other so we’re gonna talk like crazy for a couple weeks before we drift apart’ type of friends’ You’re occasional friends who happened to run into each other at the party last weekend and just so happened to spend a lot of that time drunk and scheming.

“So I told her, I said, ‘Ma’am… we don’t have that shirt in that size and if we did it would be out on display’ and then she was like ‘Well let me speak to the manager because I don’t believe you’ and I turned around and said, ‘I am a manager’ then she threw the shirt at me and stormed out!” Kai was going on a tangent. He just got off work and he’s been talking your ear off over the awful shift he had. You and Yuna just listened to him rant and get it out of your system.

You were meeting tonight with your coworkers slash friends, Yuna and Kai. You worked at a streetwear shop that sold mostly graphic tees and things like cargo pants but it was a fun place to be at. It was a big store so the three of you were all managers, unfortunately that meant you very rarely get to work the same shifts together but you’ve gotten close lately.

Soobin found out you worked with Yuna because of the time he stopped into the shop. He had recognized her right away from one of his lectures but when he saw the two of you laugh together it didn’t take him long to tell you two were friends. He didn’t know that you were currently having dinner with her and Kai until he called you.

“Hello?” You answered as you slapped Kai’s hand away from your slice of pizza that he was trying to take since it was the last piece.

“Ow!” Kai yelled louder than he needed to and laughed as he lunged for Yuna’s plate only for them two to begin a slapping war. You rolled your eyes as you waited for Soobin to speak, “What?”

“What are you doing right now?” He asked as he sat in his bedroom waiting for you to get back. He was voted and the other night you two were talking so he wanted to know if you had any plans. He just wanted to hang out with someone and for some reason it just so happened to you.

“I’m having pizza with Yuna and Kai” You said, rolling your eyes at your two friends who were still fighting. Yuna was trying hard to get Kai to let go of her pizza slice while Kai tried shoving it in his face only to annoy her now. It wasn’t even about the pizza anymore.

“Yuna?” Soobin sat up immediately, “Where? I’ll meet you guys there. Shit, I’ll even invite Beomgyu.”

“Are you crazy? It’s too soon,” you said louder than you expected and the two you were with stopped fighting to stare.

“Who are you talking to?” Yuna asked as she finally shoved Kai back and took a big bite of her slice.

“Soobin, he asked if you guys wanted to hang out,” You said with a sigh as you heard Soobin cheer from the other end of the phone.

“Let’s go to the Arcade!” Kai shouted loud enough for Soobin to hear and he immediately agreed, “Taehyun’s gonna be so jealous he ditched us to go clubbing.”

“I highly doubt that,” you said as you hung up the phone once the plans were made.

The three of you left for the arcade and three guys met up with you there after some time. You looked between Soobin and Beomgyu and Yeonjun. You were familiar with all of them just seeing them around campus and such but you didn’t talk to the others as frequently as you talked to Soobin. Yeonjun was a fashion major and the department office was next to the Art office so you’ve seen him in passing before. He’s asked for help making posters for whatever fashion show they’re doing at the moment and you’re usually the one to help.

He gave you the typical bro handshake like you were one of the guys, “I didn’t know you were friends with Soobin.”

“Friends in the loosest term,” you joked, making Soobin gasp dramatically.

“Now that’s cold, we’re friends Y/n,” he said with an annoyed scoff as he narrowed his eyes at you, “How do you know each other?”

“Just saw each other around before,” Yeonjun said with a shrug. Soobin looked skeptical as he stared between you two and finally turned to Beomgyu, “Gyu this is Y/n and her friends.”

All of you awkwardly introduced yourselves and moved along.

“Y/n get your ass over here and play air hockey with me!” Kai shouted as he dragged you by the back of your shirt. Soobin took you by the arm basically making a tug-of-war, “Oh actually, Y/n said she’s never won a game of Zombie Apocalypse and you know who has? Beomgyu.”

“Huh?” You said before Soobin’s face scrunched up practically telling you to go along with him, “Oh yeah, I always get ate the fuck up.”

“Well now it's my mission to teach you how to survive,” Beomgyu said dramatically.

“Yuna, let’s play air hockey then, it’s four players, you guys in?” Kai asked Soobin and Yeonjun after you and Beomgyu left.

“I didn’t realize you’re the Y/n Soobin always talks about,” Beomgyu said when the two of you got into the gaming booth where you sit inside with play guns and a large screen showing the game. Your brows furrowed.

“Soobin talks about me?” You asked as you swiped your playing card and held the gun, “Oh my god, he talks shit about me, doesn’t he?”

Beomgyu laughed as the game began and zombies started coming forward slowly, “No, he doesn’t. He just brings you up every now and then so I always wondered about you.”

He was being honest, Soobin did talk about you sometimes so he got curious. He’s also seen you around campus before and he thinks you’re pretty he’s just never thought more on it since he didn’t have a reason to. When Soobin invited him out tonight he blindly agreed not expecting you to be here since his friend never elaborated. Imagine his surprise when he sees you greet Soobin and then it turns into a big group outing. Soobin must’ve read his mind or something because he was very quick to throw you two at each other—not that he minds, not at all.

Soobin was ecstatic and honestly you should be too. Despite his shy nature at first, Soobin definitely knows his way around girls, it just takes him a while to get comfortable. When he first found out you were hanging out with Yuna he immediately got excited and he pushed you toward Beomgyu the second you got here. He works fast and that’s why he’s ecstatic but he’s also deeply regretting his decision.

He should’ve made sure you were close to offer him help when he needed it but you ran off with Beomgyu without a second thought and okay sure, that’s his fault but how could you? How could you just leave him to fend for himself and go have your fun, and from the looks of it you were just having the best of time running around with Beomgyu.

“What’s your deal?” Yeonjun asked after watching Soobin glare at you and Beomgyu as he handed you a bear he just won.

Yuna was across from him playing ping pong and he was too distracted to even notice. He looked at Yeonjun, “Huh?”

“Oh, um,” Soobin looked around, “Give me a second, I’ll be right back.”

You had been waiting for Beomgyu to come back with drinks for you two when Soobin came over to your side. His hand barely grazed your back but it was enough to have you screaming and about two seconds away from hitting.

“It’s just me!” Soobin yelled, letting his hand go down to your waist for support, “Soobin.”

His touch was soft but warm and it was hard for you to not notice the way he kept his hand there despite having your attention.

“Oh my god, well you don’t sneak up on someone like that!” You said holding a hand to your chest moving away from his hold. He rolled his eyes, “Whatever, it’s not my fault you get spooked easily.”

“Don’t test me,” you said and for some reason that brought a mischievous smile to his lips.

“Why? What would you do to me?” He asked, taking a step closer as you rolled your eyes deciding to ignore him.

“Anyways, what do you want?”

“Oh I need you back there. I can’t talk to Yuna, I’m too nervous,” he said, making you scoff.

He looked down at you, “I’m nervous.”

A deep sigh left your lips as you pinched your brow in a small sign of frustration, “You’ve been talking about this for weeks. You got it.”

“I know, but uh, here’s the thing,” Soobin scratched at the top of his hair shyly, “Um… you know the idea of uh, the idea of… having a crush on someone is just uh, it’s just a lot more fun than actually going and doing something about it. Y'know?”

You gave him a blank stare, “No, I don’t know, you’re the one who asked to meet up since you found out I was with Yuna.”

He picked up on a hint of annoyance in your voice. He cleared his throat looking to the group he left behind where Yuna was now just talking with Kai and Yeonjun. He licked his dry lips, “I just mean, I thought I liked her but now the thought of actually asking her out just doesn’t seem all that great.”

You gave a single nod as if trying to understand him and he looked down at you hopefully. He towers over you but you’ve got this mean mug that gets him every time and he would be lying if he said you didn’t intimidate him at times. Like right now.

“So what you’re saying right now is that you’ve spent the last two weeks talking my ear off about the girl you like only for you to not do anything about it?” You asked, looking a little more annoyed than before. Soobin’s blank puppy face wasn’t doing anything to help his case no matter how cute he looked and with parted lips in surprise he nodded his head in response.

Another deep sigh left your lips as you turned away, “What happened to that confident guy at the party?”

“Well, I was feeling a lot more confident talking to you,” Soobin said pointing an accusatory finger at you, “But you just had to bail on my and go find Beomgyu.”

“Um excuse me, you’re the one who pushed me to Beomgyu,” You told him, “You were so eager to get things moving and now you regret it?”

“Yeah bu—“

“Hey Bin,” Beomgyu said as he handed you a drink and offered a third to him, “I saw you here so I brought you a drink. What are you guys talking about?”

“About how Y/n is the meanest person in the world,” Soobin said with an angry pout.

“I think you’re nice,” Beomgyu said with a shrug.

“Don’t compliment Y/n!” Soobin yelled and you nudged him from the back because what was he thinking? Isn’t the whole point of this that Beomgyu falls for you and Yuna falls for him?

“Only I can,” he muttered under his breath, “Kidding.”

Beomgyu just looked at him suspiciously as he made an excuse to go back to Yuna.

“What’s got you in a mood?” Taehyun asked looking at Soobin who had this obvious pout on his face, “Y/n.”

“Ah, so you’re jealous,” Taehyun said, as he stood behind the register of the store you worked at. Soobin had stopped by to see if Yuna was around but he ended up looking for you instead.

“A little.” Soobin said without a thought. He shook his head, “Wait no, not like that. I meant like, I’m jealous of Y/n, not jealous because of her.”

“Why? Y/n sucks,” Taehyun said casually like they were discussing the weather.

“Because Y/n was talking to Beomgyu and she just made it look so easy,” Soobin said and he honestly doesn’t get it. It’s not usually so hard for him to get a girl, he doesn’t usually have to work for it. Yes, he’s quiet at first and can get overwhelmed but if he puts his mind on someone there’s no doubt he can get them.

Why is he struggling being around Yuna when he’s supposedly into her?

“Oh so you’re jealous of Beomgyu?” Taehyun asked.

“No! Listen, Y/n just…” Soobin started.

“I just what?” You asked so suddenly he screamed. Soobin turned around facing the entrance of the store where you and Yuna walked in from.

“You don’t work today,” Taehyung said with a scowl as he looked at you two, “Unless you plan on clocking in and letting me leave early.”

“No, not planning that at all,” you said before lifting your hands which were full of shopping bags, “We were shopping and decided to come say hi.”

You looked toward Soobin, “What are you doing here?”

“Oh uh, I just, I wanted to see if Yuna was here, I was gonna stop by and say hi,” Soobin said looking toward her. You just nodded leaving the two to it as you joined Taehyun to see if there was someone the two of you can talk shit about for a few minutes.

“The other night was fun,” Yuna said as she and Soobin stood off to the side somewhere in the store. He smiled, “Yeah.”

“Y/n and Beomgyu seemed to hit it off, right?” Yuna asked, trying to make conversation with him. Soobin just nodded looking over to where you and Taehyun talked.

“You think so?” Soobin asked with a clear of his throat as he looked back at her, “What’s Y/n’s type, anyway?”

Don’t ask him why he was curious because he doesn’t know. He just remembers when you asked him if Yuna was his type and he never asked you if Beomgyu was yours. If you asked him now if Yuna was his type he would once again say not really. She’s not his ideal type but he liked her because she was cute. He wanted to know if Beomgyu was your type or if you too were only into him because of his looks.

“Um, I don’t really know,” Yuna said with a shrug, “I’ve never really asked, why?”

“Just… you know, Y/n’s a lot to handle,” he said making her smile.

“Yeah, Y/n likes things done her way so she usually takes the lead. I guess I would say someone who’s okay following her around and being told what to do,” Yuna said only half joking.

Soobin was taken back, now he might be mistaken.

He might seriously be mistaken but that’s him, right? Practically!

He would follow Y/n around if she asked him to.

Wait, what?

“Why?”

“Huh?” Soobin asked, looking completely dumbfounded, “Oh um, just curious.”

“About?” You asked coming up behind him, making him scream just like he did early. You rolled your eyes, “Jeez, why are you so jumpy today?”

“Are you going to see Beomgyu again?” He blurred out making your brows scrunch in confusion.

Beomgyu was cute, he was really cute and you had fun with him the other night but how could Soobin expect you to know the answer right now? You haven’t even talked to Beomgyu since then and that was already a couple days ago. You can’t tell if he’s into you or not and despite following each other on social media neither one of you reached out to the other.

“I don’t know,” you told him honestly and he smacked his lips in annoyance as he rolled his eyes.

Yuna excused herself when Taehyun called for her and suddenly it was just you two and neither one of you made a move to leave. You nudged his arm softly, “Did you just roll your eyes at me?”

“No,” He said while doing it again and you scoffed.

You took a deep breath to prepare yourself to ask, “Are you mad at me?”

“I don’t know.”

“I thought it went good with Yuna but you’ve been acting weird now,” you said in a whisper as you took a step toward him, “Are you not into her anymore?”

“I don’t know!” His voice rose as he took another step closing the gap between you even more, “I mean… I don’t know. No?”

“No? What are you talking about? I thought the whole point was that you would go out with Yuna and I would try it out with Beomgyu,” you said and he just huffed.

“I don’t want you to try anything out with Gyu,” he rushed out without meaning to. He looked just as confused by what he said as you did. He took a deep breath, “I’ll see you in class?”

Your brows furrowed, “Wait what?”

He was already walking away as you called for him, “Soobin, you’re leaving already?”

He didn’t respond and you looked at the others very confused.

You don’t understand what just happened. Soobin seemed… he seemed jealous almost? He kept asking you about Beomgyu and the other night at the arcade too, he just interrupted you two and left Yuna behind as he thirdwheeled you instead. On top of that, you’re not sure how you feel about the fact that he might be jealou.

Were you overthinking it? What if that’s not how he meant to come off at all and you’re just overthinking it?

You also can’t seem to fathom the way your breath hitched when he had gotten closer to basically tell you he didn’t want you to get close to Beomgyu. You’ve never thought of him this way but even you can’t deny the fact that Soobin is hot. He’s making you feel things from the way he’s acting and you don’t know if you have a right to feel this way.

If he hadn’t stormed off maybe you would be able to understand better about why he’s not so sure about Yuna anymore. Did this mean she was out of the question? Did Yuna develop anything for him yet and if so what did that mean for your growing feelings?

You just need him to give you one little sign on how he’s feeling.

Soobin was young and confused, so what did a typical young and confused person do on a Friday night at some college party? Get drunk.

Yup, they get drunk and that’s exactly what Soobin is planning to do because for some reason he can’t get you out of his head. He doesn’t even know how this happened when just a couple weeks ago he only saw you as a friend. He thought he was into Yuna for fuck’s sake!

When did you become the center of his attention?

Well, Soobin knows when. It’s when he introduced you to his beloved friend Beomgyu. For some reason that bothered him a bit and he didn’t even realize it at first. Also, it was completely his fault! He shouldn’t have introduced you to each other but he honestly thought nothing of it. At first you were just a friend asking him for a favor and it became a trade.

The thing that really made him realize his mistake was the night of the arcade. He hung out with Yuna and the others yet the entire time he thought about you. He would look over and catch you laughing over something Beomgyu said and he just wanted to know what was so damn funny. He can make you laugh too.

A feeling began to set in his chest and when he went on social media and saw that the two of you were following each other now he only became more annoyed because what would you be talking about when he’s not around?

He wondered if the two of you were talking as much as he talked to you.

It wasn’t until the day at the store that he realized what was the problem. He didn’t want you to give attention to Beomgyu. He wanted it all for himself. He spent months being shy around you and not being able to get closer to you sooner that it annoyed the shit out of him because it was so easy for Beomgyu to get your attention!

It just got him thinking on this bus ride to the party tonight. He thought; Well, I just have to try harder to get Y/n back, right?

At the party he needed liquid courage to even face you but he would definitely go find you some time tonight. Yeonjun laughed at the way Soobin threw himself down on the random couch against the wall, “Hey stranger.”

“Hey,” Soobin said as he threw back his head and took another drink from his cup, “Have you seen Y/n?”

“Yeah, right there,” Yeonjun said waving at you as you made your way over with Kai next to you. Good, at least you weren’t talking to Beomgyu. Soobin loves his friend, but if anyone should be with you, it’s him, right? Beomgyu doesn’t even know anything about you! And okay, maybe Soobin doesn’t know much about each but at least he’s been to your place! Who cares if it was to study or do a project.

He did the unthinkable as you got closer. He reached out an arm to touch your waist and just like that he was pulling you onto his lap.

“Soobin,” you whined as you tried to get up but he didn’t let you.

“There’s nowhere else to sit, Y/n,” Soobin said in a deep voice that had you looking at him and his dark eyes. Confident Soobin was back.

His eyes didn’t tear away from your face as you looked around and he was right, there really was no room elsewhere.

“I’m heavy,” you complained, still trying to see if there was a way out of this before your mind started playing tricks on you again by making you think Soobin might like you.

“Where else do you plan on sitting then?” He asked with an amused smile as he looked around. He wasn’t worried for his friend Beomgyu who seemed content talking to the group he’s hanging with and Yuna was here too but off somewhere else. His little schoolboy crush on her was over the second he realized you might slip away from him. He’s not going to let you go.

You gave up on arguing with him over it and made yourself comfortable on his lap, feet barely touching the floor from the length of his legs that kept you up. Soobin’s arms were around your waist the entire time too as if making it clear you weren’t going anywhere. Maybe you both were a little too tipsy to focus on this sudden shift between you two but neither one of you was going to back down.

“Y/n! I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” Kai said as he cut through the crowd of people to get to you, “Wanna play beer pong?”

“Right now?” You asked as you looked down at the hand that was on your waist wondering if Soobin would move it away but instead he fully wrapped it around your front securing you even more to his lap.

“Where’s Yuna?” Soobin asked and you felt your heart drop just a fraction at the thought that he would prefer her. He took you by surprise when he said, “I’m sure she’d join you, Kai.”

Kai looked down at the two of you with skeptical eyes, “What’s up with you guys?”

You opened your mouth to speak but Soobin beat you to it, “I want Y/n’s attention.”

Yeonjun audibly gagged as Kai scrunched up his face cringing. Even you looked slightly taken back as you turned to look at him but Soobin just gave you that lazy drunken smile of his. Yeonjun stood, “Alright I’m leaving.”

Kai joined him and when it was just you two on the couch you made a move to get off his lap but he didn’t let you. You knew Soobin was strong because the guy worked out twice a day but whew, when he actually shows you his strength it takes you by surprise. You laughed nervously as you placed your hands over his, “Let me sit.”

“Why? I’m not comfortable enough for you?” Soobin asked with a teasing smile as he felt you relax in his hold again. He couldn’t help himself as he said, “Would you prefer Gyu over me?”

You scoffed with a laugh, “Is that what this has been about? You’re jealous?”

“A little,” he said honestly, “Don’t want you paying attention to anyone but me.”

“Really? Shouldn’t you be saying that to Yuna?” You asked and he stopped to think about it.

He remembers when you came up to him asking about Beomgyu. At first he was surprised but he was a little too drunk to feel anything. He remembers telling you to get him with Yuna but now he wonders if it’s because he really did like the girl or because you showed interest in someone else.

“I want your attention, not hers,” he said and he was being honest, “And you didn’t answer my question.”

“What question?”

“Do you prefer Gyu over me?” He asked, looking you in the eyes now as you laughed, shaking your head no.

“No, I don’t. You’re confusing me though,” you told him and he sighed.

“You’re really going to make me say it?” Soobin asked with a sigh as he ran a nervous hand through his hair, “I’m into you, Y/n.”

You nearly choked as you stared at him with wide eyes, “Since when?”

“I don’t know, a while? I just didn’t want to say it,” Soobin said, “And I’ll be honest with you. I always thought you were pretty hot but we were friends, y’know? You came to me about Beomgyu and I thought nothing of it and told you about Yuna, but I never… well I just thought she was cute. I think I only said that because you said something about Beomgyu.”

You took a deep breath as he continued, “But then I couldn’t stop thinking about you with him and I realized that I really hated the idea of you two because where would that leave me?”

He looked away from you a little embarrassed now that he’s realized the alcohol in his system was slowly slipping away along with his confidence. He couldn’t face you but he could tell your expression. Your lips were parted in surprise and your brows were furrowed in confusion, yet… you weren’t mad.

“Soobin,” you sighed, making him look down at his hands as one rested on your thigh, “I think, I think I feel the same.”

It was still a little confusing because not that long ago you considered him a distant friend. If this was happening now it’s still something foreign to you both but neither of you seemed completely against the idea of being something more.

He took you by surprise as he laughed, “Fuck.”

You looked at him as he ran his fingers through his blond hair once again, “I really want to kiss you right now, just to… um… I just want to try it.”

“So do it,” you found yourself saying and he looked at you with doe eyes trying to see if it’s what you really wanted. When you didn’t take back what you said he nodded. Without wasting another second your jaw warmed with his touch. He was pulling your face toward his and your lips touched suddenly.

He breathed out through his nose, sighing at the feel of your soft lips. His head tilted to one side as you shifted on his lap just slightly to kiss him better. He kept one hand on your waist but the other made its way to your hair keeping you in place as he pulled away to catch his breath.

You looked at each other through glossed over lustful gazes. A lazy smile appeared on his face before he smashed his lips against yours again. He dipped his head lower to deepen the kiss, his tongue swiping against your lips and it took you by surprise. Usually you were the one telling Soobin what to do but he clearly had no problem initiating the kiss. You leaned forward, back arching a little as you planted the palm of your hand flat on his thigh feeling the muscle underneath.

A loud scream pierced through your ears and you nearly jumped out of Soobin’s hold accidentally nipping his bottom lip with your teeth. He hissed at the pain and was surprised by the fact that it made him blush when you did it. He looked up at you as you looked in the direction that the scream came from.

Taehyun stood there with Beomgyu and he looked completely shocked, “You! What—Did I just,” he rubbed his eyes as if he was waking up from a dream, “Did they just kiss?”

“I think the term is made out,” Beomgyu said, not looking bothered by this at all, “And on a stranger’s couch at that.”

“You know, I had a feeling something was going on,” he said to Taehyun, “The day of the arcade Soobin was talking about Y/n so much to me but then when we hung out he kept interrupting. I just knew something was up.”

That would explain why he never reached out to you after the arcade day. You awkwardly moved off Soobin’s lap as he relaxed into the couch and man spread his legs, “Yeah, I know. My bad.”

He didn’t even look apologetic because now he was too giddy about the fact that you kissed him, bit him too. He licked at the small cut on his lip now from when you bit him and smirked, “Sue me, I didn’t want you alone with Y/n after all.”

“I’m so confused,” you said suddenly as you looked at them all before landing your eyes on Taehyun, “And why’d you scream? You made me bite Soobin.”

“I kinda liked it,” Soobin mumbled in embarrassment as he blushed trying to hide his smile.

Taehyun and Beomgyu both gagged, “You two are sick. You ruined my drunk and now I have drunk even more to get it back.”

Soobin stood up with a huff, “Fine, we’ll leave, how about that?”

“We will?” You asked as you took his outstretched hand that helped you up. He nodded with a smile.

You’re not sure what happened in between leaving the party and finding yourself on Soobin’s bed but here you were, sitting across from each other. Music played quietly in the background and he had those typical LED lights on to a shade of dark purple.

“Do you regret it?” He asked you as he played with the end of your shorts as your legs splayed over his , “Or would you do it again?” He looked up at you with curious puppy eyes that he somehow made hot.

You knew he was talking about the kiss and his shy nature seemed to come back now that it was just you two but it didn’t conceal his lustful gaze. You didn’t say anything for a moment and finally inched closer to him. He didn’t need much of an answer when you pressed your lips to his once more and there was a hint of a smile into the kiss as he deepened it, dipping his head low. You straightened your back hoping to get closer to him, your hands going to his thighs for support.

You still sat across from each other but Soobin was reaching for your hips to pull you even closer in front of him.

“Wanna keep going?” You asked, letting your hand slip down from his neck to his chest. He nodded into the kiss letting you take the lead as your fingers ran over his pecs and abs. He doesn’t care who takes control as long as you don’t stop touching him. His hands slid down to your spine, slipping his fingers under your shirt just a little bit. Your legs were crossed with his as you sat facing each other to kiss and Soobin towered over you just a bit. Your tongue slipped into his mouth massaging against his making him breathe heavily through his nose so he wouldn’t have to pull away.

You released a small grunt as it became hard to breathe and leaned back to pull away. Soobin released a quiet groan as he followed your lips making your back arch into him. Finally you held him by the shoulders and pulled back with a laugh, “Jeez, didn’t know you wanted to kiss me that bad.”

He laughed lightly, “Neither did I.”

You watched the way he slumped back in the bed using his hands to hold himself up, legs stretched out around you. Soobin looked extremely… sexy. You moved onto your knees as you leaned over him to connect your lips again.

He kissed you back hungrily as one of your hands came up to touch his chest before descending down his and again. He sucked in his stomach unintentionally as you traveled your finger down it toward the hem of his jeans all the while still making out. He brought a hand up to cup your face as he felt your fingers tug at his buttoned up jeans. He let you unzip them and lower them as much as possible in his current position.

You’re not surprised to see that he’s hard, considering you haven’t been able to keep your hands off each other for some time now. You’ve also been drinking and kissing.

You struggled to tug his briefs down barely getting them under his member and having to dig your hand into them. You finally slipped your hand over his member, relishing in the size of him as your palm ran over his tip.

His mouth formed an 'O' shape against yours at the first feel of your fingertip running along his tip already feeling some slick m. Soobin let his head fall back as he focused on the feel of your hand.

"Fuck," he groaned feeling your hand stroke his member upwards, tightening a little more at the base, before softening along his head. Focusing on his top you circled your fingers around the part under the head before stroking it with your palm.

“Does it feel good?” you asked as you brought your other hand down under his cock, massaging his balls. He gave up on control for just one second and fell back on the bed only using his elbows to keep him up. His head was thrown back as he mumbled blissfully, “Feels good.”

A groan fell from his lips as you pulled your hands away from his aching length and he looked at you displeased with wet swollen lips.

You didn’t say anything as you sat back on your haunches and reached for the end of your shirt before pulling it off swiftly. Soobin was frozen for a second as he took in the size of your chest. Another groan caught in his throat when you got up just enough to pull down your shorts and kick them off. You looked at Soobin and without another second wasted he tugged off his own clothing until he was naked. You sat pretty between his legs admiring his abs and talk figure. His eyes down your body, mouth going dry and cock twitching when you lowered yourself down toward it.

His breath hitched as you wrapped a hand around his base and took him in your mouth. Your little handjob should’ve been enough teasing, you just wanted to get him off. It didn’t take long for Soobin to set a pace of thrusting into your mouth lightly, feeling the way your tongues licked up his length each time you would pull.

Your hand jerked off whatever didn’t fit in your mouth and when he touched the back of your throat it only made more saliva spill out.

“Y/n, I’m gonna cum, fuck,” Soobin moaned as his eyes squeeze shut, his abs flexed in intense pleasure as he tried holding off just a little longer but he couldn’t. Not anymore.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” string of curse words left his lips as he released down your throat suddenly and you just swallowed it up. He breathed heavily as you slowly made your way off so as to not overstimulate him but you could see that he never lost his erection despite cumming down your throat.

You got up to kiss him softly, “You did so good, baby boy, and still so hard.”

He groaned into your mouth, he tried very hard to let you lead that moment but now he’s ready for his turn. He swiftly pulled you down to the bed until you were laying down and he was sitting on your side. You looked at him with soft eyes and took off your bra without him even needing to ask.

Soobin thought you looked like a nice little plaything for him right now. His hand ran between your breasts sliding across your left and squeezing just enough to feel the weight of them. You took a deep breath as he ran a thumb over your nipple.

It felt good to have his big hand touching your tits but what had you withering was his other hand which made its way between your legs and under your panties.

“So pretty,” he mumbled through pouty lips as his eyes scanned your naked body, tugging down your underwear until you were fully undressed too. His middle finger ran along your folds making sure to spread your slick around and coating your clit with it. You watched as he brought his mouth down to the mound of your breast, a hand pinching a nipple and another touching your wet pussy.

“Soobin,” you gasped feeling his lips circle around the hardened bud of your breast and suck lightly all the while the hand on your cunt began to rub your clit at a faster pace. You were so close and you can see his hardened dick bobbing, begging for friction. Your lips drew apart as his middle finger began to push into your entrance, hips bucking trying to get him in deeper.

He looked up at you, tongue flicking your nipple as his other hand groped the flesh of your left breast. His hand toyed with your wetness using it as an aid for an easier push of his finger into your heat. The whimpering mess you left him earlier was gone and back was a confident Soobin who knew what he was doing.

He knew you were getting close from the way your walls tightened around his finger and it made him want to stretch you further. His tongue never stopped wrapping around your nipple and tugging at it with his teeth pushing moan after moan out of you. With the stimulation of his mouth on your tits and his finger pushing through your folds to join his middle finger, you felt very close.

Your hips began to shake and Soobin sped up his thrusts making sure to curl his fingertips and push against that soft spot that had you moaning out his name. Soon enough he felt your walls tighten just before the warmth of your release coated his fingers. Not once did he stop kissing your tits and you quite literally had to pull him up by his hair to get him off.

You focused your attention on evening out your breathing as Soobin got up for a second and rummaged through a drawer. When he came back to you he patted your thigh, “Turn around.”

You were a little surprised by his deep and intimidating demeanor but did as told anyway as you rolled onto your stomach watching as he tore into the condom wrapper and managed to slide it onto his hard cock himself. Still stroking his member he crawled back onto the bed before pulling your thighs up so that your ass was more in the air and you fixed yourself into the right position, face in a pillow.

Soobin bit into his bottom lip to suppress a loud moan as he pushed the tip into your entrance. You released a moan blissfully at the stretch of his cock pushing through a familiar ring of nerves. He’s been waiting for this and he knows he won’t last long at al. That was only more reason for him to get rough.

He might let you tell him what to do and give him attitude any other time, and he might’ve let you take the lead tonight but if he’s in your pussy then he’s the one in control. He has no problem following you around like a good puppy but if he’s balls deep in your cunt then he’s going to get a little too eager to be pliant.

You moaned into the pillow as he fucked you from behind. He dropped down over your back so that you were pressed into his chest and fucked you like a man in heat.

“Oh fuck, baby,” the pet name slipped out but you weren’t opposed to the term at all. Actually, it made you lean your head back to meet his and throw an arm around his neck to make him kiss you from behind.

“I’m so close, baby,” you said back and he nearly growled into your ear, “Fucking me so good.”

The praise got to him as he slammed his hips into yours swallowing your loud cries of pleasure with his tongue down your throat.

Just like that, your body trembled as he felt your release threatening to push him out. He pulled away from the kiss to drop his head down on your shoulder and came into the condom.

It took you both some time to calm down, Soobin peeled his sweaty body away from yours, lips gulping dryly as he stared up at the ceiling still coming down from his orgasm. His mouth was dry, his eyes stung and his blond hair stuck, his forehead drenched in sweat. He was living proof of a man who just had the fuck of his life. When he was actually able to swallow and breathe properly he moved off of you, hand on your thigh as he helped you onto your back.

The bed dipped as he fell onto it next to you and your eyes met. The sex fueled haze has disappeared and all that was left was two laughing friends as he took your hand in his and pressed a kiss to your knuckles.

“Come here,” you mumbled, lifting an arm up and he crawled into the small space and hugged you from the front. His face rested on your bare chest as his tall figure huddled around you.

“I never knew you can get so rough,” you said with a small giggle that had him hiding his face in embarrassment.

“Did you like it?” He asked, throwing an arm around your side, “In bed, I mean. I would never be mean or rough on you anywhere else.”

You just smiled, “I liked it, you can be a little mean to me if you want to.”

He shook his head with furrowed brows as if the idea was so beyond his comprehension on why he would want to be mean to you.

Now he remembers when you asked him if ‘cute’ was his type and how he said he prefers them a little mean. He didn’t realize then but he was referring to you and despite your usual cold nature, you were surprisingly warm during sex and he liked both sides of you.

“You like me, right?” He asked suddenly, “I don’t have to worry about you leaving me for someone else, right?”

“Yes Bin, I like you and I wouldn’t leave you for someone else.”

“Not Beomgyu, right? I mean, he’s a total brat y’know,” Soobin began, “He would never do what you say.”

“And you would?” You asked him, making him nod his head.

“I always do what you say,” he admitted, trying to make sure you realized he’s totally fine with you telling him what to do as long as you praised him too.

He wanted you to know that despite getting a little rough during your fuck, he will still very willingly let you take the lead in the relationship. It was perfect for him, he could let loose and have sex with you while also just following everything you do and not think. He just wants someone who will tell him what to do.

“So then when should we go out?” You asked and he smiled shyly now. He kissed your collarbone, hand already rubbing at your sides as if the thought of actually going out for him aroused again.

“Tomorrow, early morning.”

“What do we tell the others when they ask about earlier?” You asked now and he rolled his eyes.

“That we’re seeing each other,” he said using that same voice he did when he was hitting it from behind, not the shy tone but the firm one that let you know that’s how it was gonna go.

His continuous switch from letting you decide and him being the one to make decisions was sending you in a spiral but you liked it too. He’s clearly a good match for you when you’re exactly the same.

Maybe he really was in front of you the whole time.

::.

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omg I’ve been writing this for over a month 😭😭ik my first two fics seem pretty soft and fluffy but I’m hoping to write something darker soon. anyway hope you enjoy.

this Soobin: