#then i eventually kind of actually got worried cuz he didnt even show up on the last day of school..

[rulanarinrush]

d/r/dt rewatch ch2 part 1! Please do not interact with this if you find it

episode 1:

phrasing is interesting. "it's my job" huh eden

"im sure everyone will wake eventually" SHOWS OVER GUYS

"sometimes, i really envy how easy it is for you to be kind"

"tried to kill?" wdym eden one of them actually committed murder lol(nothing against min)

"but maybe I'm worrying about nothing since you seem to be the same as you ever are. I guess someone super brave like you is doing just fine."

i should just screen record the beginning part of ch2 this convo is crazy

is it wrong, should i be more emotional, is basically what he's seeing in fewer words

"part of the reason I'm cooking is to distract myself. working calms my nerves"

"I've never been good at grieving, I'm just gonna copy them"

"grieve how you normally do"

"then im not doing jack shit lol"

this convo gives me hives it's so good and creepy

"I cook all the time"

"for everyone else?"

"no cuz im alone. and that's good"

eden is confirmed to have parents, and she loves them -> it would be upsetting to be disowned

Levi: my father, my mother, my brothers... bad influences on each other

disowned is a euphemism that does a lotttt of heavy lifting lol

Levi: i wanna be a good person eden: already are! me: ::sweatdrops::

ay ay ace don't call eden a dumbass she's not even my favorite and i still feel primal rage at those words /j

teruko has a bunny charm now huh

Oh I'm guessing David either couldn't sleep after the trial, or he's a heavy sleeper. Either one isn't good lol

"im a people too!" ? Maybe that's an intentional mistake

i didn't realize arturo was the first to insult the paper cutouts lmao and the ugly voiceline got me. arturo mr ultimate arts and crafts guy

2st?? what's going on with this episode lol

J, Arei, Ace, David, Eden, and Veronika all have bad reactions to their (given) secrets

Veronika's "how interesting" line made me giggle lol. i need therapy

AUGH FUCK MY EARS I SOMETIMES WATCH SHOWS WITHOUT THE AUDIO WHEN IM AROUND OTHER PEOPLE I DIDNT KNOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN

Whit: we shouldn't be sharing our secrets david &arturo: acksually

arei: you look different from what i remember! (So does that mean that she used to look very feminine in the past?)

"isn't that a common name? nu uh!"

Stupid bitch! these voicelines are so funny

"hid your beauty behind that rough, boyish look" is what triggers her huh inchresting

J-> does not find the spotlight particularly nice, and is generally disdainful of her mother for constantly showering her off as a prized hen. "vain and artificial" are her adjectives huh

While what he did was pretty fucked up, they do get over J pretty fast lol

arei: there's *definitely* worse secrets, got nothing to hide tho lol levi: tru bestie! no sharing arei: bitch

teruko: i have no one and nothing to live for. and since i ain't want to leave neither r u

metaphors huh veronika

oof in chat 4 charles...

episode 2

4 rooms, elevator only way to get between floors

there's a sewing machine in the dress up room

"you haven't been in japan in years"

giant scar on back(that i forgot... oopsies!

"misfortune is inevitable, I've long since stopped questioning it"(so i forget my own pain)

prescriptions question means he did not ask t/eruko or hu beforehand. but that medication they need is provided only for them

whit-- cannot sleep with light. tv light is covered

wait i just realized the haircut made her hair shorter but it's somehow even grayer lol

"I used to be the most judgemental of him" huh... i don't remember this

"Don't say that I'm a good person, bc it'll only make me feel bad that im not"

Teruko's first instinct is to try to help, though she tries to suppress it.

She took all the drinks and food but where's she storing it?

Ace takes the resistance band(to spite Levi? maybe he needs it for smth i missed)

Levi: help me teruko uwu teruko: ditch the guy he's gonna die anyway. besides, all ppl abandon me and i suppose it will be the same 4 u ace: wtf... you know you guys didn't mute the discord call right?

nico: does not realize they are blunt until teruko points it out

the fish are specifically minnows, and stressed out

social norms and "common" thinking/phrasing nico finds difficult

IMPORTANT *automated misting system turns on overnight, making the turf sticky -> implies footprints will show, carried out of room

turf absorbs water

this room closes at 10 pm and reopens at 8 am, when things are *definitely dry*

swing is slippery, ground is soft

*GROUND IS MADE OF SAME STUFF AS TURF. MENTIONED AS SPONGY*

mono designs are associated with fear

no one except ter/uko remembers a past killing game. no sufficient evidence to prove

a. if she's been in a killing game before b. if she remembers watching one c. if she remembers the hope's peak one in 2010

ceiling fans like in the gym, which rotate CLOCKWISE. why are they circulating warm air around the room instead of cold? hu knows...

episode 3:

caulk the bathroom

the w in woogle is so sloppily edited it makes me laugh (positive)

*important killing game building was not originally designed for a killing game. "meant to be occupied by humans" the design of the building is still totally garbage cuz there's no fire exits lol

"you don't have friends anymore LOL"

favorite color of monot/v: blue or yellow (whit and j? or whit and eden)

mon/otv: runs the tv show, but does not know which of the human classmates orchestrated this

cannot answer "how to end the killing game?"

teruko never asked "why" tho...

im guessing the blood phobia got worse after seeing Xander's corpse

in a lot of medical debt. has no identifying info, went to big schools that didn't track individual students. steal a uniform tho is interesting, since this takes place in a U.S. similar to the one in 2010... does this mean one of the social changes is that most public schools require a uniform in 2080? i would think it wouldn't occur so often for it to be a problem for her

gives teruk/o his given motive bc he knows that he might become incapacitated

charles: "whit is not someone i can rely on to sacrifice someone for the greater good"

charles: we went thru reverse character development bestie teruko: nah charles: fuck xander tho teruko: no more xander

OUGHHH THE CACTUS SCENE THE ONE THAT MADE ME NOT GIVE UP ON THIS SERIES OKKKK his cactus accent is really good.

dreams of bringing a knife to reassert power and to control her trauma rather than it just never happening

is fully aware that someone made xander do it

the drawings on the floor lol

"you're the last person i want to be friends with, because when your heart shatters, I don't want to break too"

"im not optimistic because I'm dumb or naive, i know this world is cruel. but I'll prove you wrong and that being kind isn't a weakness. not caring about others is the worst way to live."

i really want to know why the fans r clockwise tho. whats up with that

[tears-of-boredom]

My kind-of-therapist can be so annoying like I know that I'm beating myself up for no reason, I know that, but while there isn't any evidence to suggest I suck, there isn't anything to suggest I don't suck either. I know very clearly objectively that a classmate of mine at least had a crush on me. But when you think about it...if it was a prank, per say, it would be a pretty funny one, wouldn't it? Yes, maybe a bit cruel, but I did get immideatly addicted to the slightest bit of attention I got, and isn't it kind of funny in a sadistic way to watch someone absolutely deteriorate because you simply didn't interact with them? Isn't it really enjoyable to see that you can control someone's feelings that easily?

[obsessive-ego]

Beetlejuice cant tie a tie

I got a little off topic, but we get to it eventually

Musical beetlejuice x reader

Nsft mentions and bonus

A day off like any other, your phone buzzes to life at 11am, you groan at the sound, but you cant sleep all day, even though you really want to. As you shift to turn off your phone, you feel the familiar dead weight, you huff.

"Beetlejuice"

Ever since you let the ghoul into your home he has made it a habbit to sneak into your bed with you, at first he would leave before you woke, but now? He just makes himself at home, claiming that your bed is so comfy and warm, and way more lovely then the couch, honestly you didnt mind, his pajamas were clean, and he kept his hands relatively to himself, and lets be real even if you protested he'd still do it, just something you got used to over time, and enjoyed, as much as you wouldnt admit it, sleeping with another person did help you sleep at night, but you weren't exactly ready to open that can of worms.

You nudge the demon

"Beetlejuice let go"

The ghoul had you trapped in his arms, wrapped tightly around your waist, as his face was buried in your hair, his legs tangled with yours, the demon was spooning.

You squirm again, this time a tad more aggressive.

"Keep wiggling like that sugar and you'll give me a boner" he groans, more mockingly then anything else.

"Let go so I can turn off my alarm and start my day" you huff

Beetlejuice tightens his grip around your waist.

"No can do sweets"

"Beej please, I need to be an adult today"

"Oh babes, you can EASILY be an adult in bed~ but fine, if you must" be dramatically let's you go fawning hurt, you simply roll your eyes as you take your new freedom and leave the bed to reach your beeping phone on the table across the room.

Following your example, beetlejuice gets up too, and with a simple snap of his fingers his black and white pajamas were replaced with his trademark suit, the ghoul straightens him self out, adjusting the jacket and tie as if he had somewhere important to be.

You couldnt help but feel a tad jealous at that, to be able to get ready for the day in a second, something like that could shave a good amount of time off your mornings before work routine.

You usher the demon out of your room stating you needed to get dressed, though he did plead to stay and help, as always, you only replyed that youd take a rain check.

Reemerging from your room, dressed and ready to enjoy your day off, you head to the kitchen to make some coffee, your morning routine was simple, normally beetlejuice would chit chat with you as you made breakfast for the two of you, but it was strangely quiet, you havent seen the ghoul since you ushered him out of your bedroom, normally this ment he was hiding and getting ready to scare you, a regular occurrence.

Now something as simple as making toast and coffee now had you filled with anxiety, why did he always do this? You know why, he thinks it's funny. Your anxiety was short lived when a little note flutters down from the ceiling in front if your face, instinctively you grab it

'Babes, off scaring, saw you got new neighbors, be back soon~ xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo'

You sigh in relief knowing that bastard wasnt gonna mess with you today, yet you couldnt help but smile at all the xs and os, corny, but that was him wasnt it.

Like any other day off you try to catch up on house hold chores, and with beetlejuice out and about you can actually get stuff done, nothing against the ghoul, hell you loved having him around, it was just hard to be productive with someone so chaotic under foot.

...

Your day off went by pretty productive, you here you were, enjoying the peace and quiet, with a cup of hot tea and a book you've been meaning to read.

"HONEY I'M HOME"

Beetlejuice appears from literally nowhere in the center of the room you were currently residing.

you nearly jump out of your skin at the sudden outburst, no matter how many times the ghoul burst into your home that way, it always startled you.

You regain yourself, and with a small laugh you sigh "welcome home B"

The tips of the demon's hair turn a soft pink, something as soft as 'welcome home' from your lips sent him, how lame, a big bad demon from hell, getting all warm and soft from just a little breathers kindness, yet, he wouldnt want it any other way.

The ghoul is quick to slide next to you on the couch "ya miss me toots?~" he cooed leaning in and making an exaggerated kissing face, you snorted out a laugh and gave him a shove.

"Knock it off B, and yes I missed you, but I was more productive without you, so~" you laugh

"OH Y/N you are so mean, you would rather me be away so you can do boring breather stuff, then have fun with the sexiest dead guy you know? How cruel" the ghoul pretends to be hurt.

You laugh again "Beetlejuice, you're the ONLY dead guy I know-"

"Therefore the sexiest" he countered giving you a wide toothy grin

"You got me there I guess" you laugh and give beetlejuice a shrug.

As the laughter dies down you notice how roughed up your friend really was, more so then usual, more dirty, shirt slightly untucked, new holes in his jacket and pants, his tie undone, loosely hanging around his neck. Yes the ghoul was messy, but it looks like he lost a fight, and hell with his powers he could clean up in a second, maybe he hasnt noticed?

"Beej? What were you up to today?" You ask shyly, you didnt exactly like to butt into what the demon did in his spare time, mostly because if he wanted to share it with you he did it with gusto.

Beetlejuice freezes for a second, the shrugs

"The usual, messing with your neighbors, why?"

You gesture to his messed up clothes

"OH,  yeah, new guy down the hall fought back, you should have seen it babes-"

You sigh, not that you needed too, but you worried about beetlejuice, what if he got into a jam he couldnt get out of.

"What's up sugar?"

You flinch, beetlejuice must have caught in to your expression.

"Do you need a hand straightening up?" You mentally slap yourself at that suggestion, he can magic himself back together why would he need your help?

Glancing back up to the demon's face you swallow hard, plaster across his mug was a love sick dopey grin, his most and beard now sprouted pink patches.

"Please~" he purred, a word you rarely herd from the ghost.

You nod, slowly you start with the tie, grabbing on to the two pieces, you swear you saw the demon flinch, slowly but surely, you tie a simple tie, years of doing it for yourself for forced formal occasions, guess the info stuck.

You gently strengthen the knot, paying more attention to what you were doing, rather then who you were doing it for, if you were paying attention to beetlejuice you would have saw his wide eyes staring so intently on you, both hair and scruff completely pink, a soft smile plastered across his face.

"You know babycakes I would just LOVE to have you yank on my tie more often~" he purred

You flinch at the comment, being brought to reality by that delightful gravely voice of his, you stutter out a soft noise, unsure how to respond in your frazzled embarrassed state.

The demon continues "have ya drag me around, mmmhmmm, have my sweet little breather in charge"

You unable to think of a response, just sit in front of the demon, hands still gripping his tie, staring back at his face.

"I have to say I've thought of it often"

You DID yank the ghoul by the tie alot, to make a point and or get him to your level, him being taller then you.

"My little y/n riding me, using my tie as a leash, you being fully naked, while I'd be full clothed, sounds like fun maybe we should- urk"

That was a step too far for you, as hot as the idea way, it was till too much and too embarrassing, with a quick movement of your hand you tighten the ties knot around the ghoul's throat, as if to strangle him, not that he needed to breath, it did shut him up though.

"Harder baby" he croaked

At least you thought itd shut him up.

You let go of the tie and get off the couch, taking a step back.

Beetlejuice laughs, his soft pink hue shifting back to his default green.

"Oh sugar we done already? Not only are you kinky, you're also quick to finish" he snorts out a loud laugh.

"Cant we have one nice moment?"

"No"

You sigh, little frustrated with the ghoul's ability to ruin just about any moment, as if the ghoul sensed your mood, he was quick to jump to his feet and pull you into a side hug, you huff, still being a tad annoyed with him.

"Alright sugar, ya twisted my arm, not more dirty stuff tonight, I appreciate your help with the tie, how bout I return the favor?"

You quirk a brow, return the favour without saying something dirty? You didnt think the demon COULD do such a thing.

"Heres what I'm thinking doll, me, you, and the new neighbor down the hall, I'm gonna show you how I got messed up to start with, and play your cards right babes and I'll let ya tie me up again~" the ghoul winks at that last line, regardless of the innuendo you smile.

"Alright BJ I'm game"

The ghouls gives you a wide toothy grin

"Its showtime".

Nsft bonus

Later that night when you were dead asleep beetlejuice couldnt help but dream of you sitting on him wearing nothing but a coy smile as you rode him, he being fully dressed with his cock freed from it prison and being buried in your warmth.

You bounced up and down, yanking his tie, half for balance half cuz of the sound he made.

With a delightful dream like that, the ghoul did not last very long,

[normal-thoughts-official]

I.t.a (Identity thief anon)

I thought I had replied (if I did and you just hadn't post it it's 1000% fine ahshs)

I love Elliott so much!! And his crush is so cute (but also looking at the bigger picture is hilarious that I killed his would be father in law lmao) also awfullest thing pixelberry did was making me choose if I wanted to be his legal guardian or if I wanted him to be emancipated only to not have to do any of them since, you know, our grandpa was still alive...

Also I thought about it way too much for a choice (with no actual impact) in a game ahshshshhs, emotionally wise I'd have wanted to be his legal guardian but I think it'd make more sense (legally) emancipation because he would still get government help but there wouldn't be a risk of someone taking him away of in case I wasn't a successful guardian, and he could apply for scholarships more easily while I worked or something lmao I was just excited in that part.

I know there are some books in which you can be poly but the only I remember was moty (mother of the year) which was a better than expected book (to be fair I didn't goof have expectations) and in that one I started to date the three love interests <3

How far along are you in endless summer, who are you romancing, what do you think of the classmates + lila and what do you think about the story in general 👀

u hadnt replied!!!! hi i missed you!!

i didnt know u could be polyam in moty! i might try it out then, i never gave it a shot cuz i hate the idea of having kids 😬 but anything for rep i guess

and YEAH I KNOW DIDNDIDNDO i love elliot so much and him and robbie are SO cute together but damn his in law straight up tried to kill us huh. like robbie deserves better than bobert or whatever his name is and im glad to have killed him but

also okay im in the middle of the second book idnfidndidndo around the part where the arachnids show up for jake. my opinions so far are kind of messy but uhhh

grace and raj are my faves, hands down. craig is a close second

i like almost everyone except for jake because hes just military propaganda in a trenchcoat with that annoying wahh im too conflicted to care about anyone white boy complex, and aleister because he was a dick to grace. idc how much he simps for her now she deserves better than him. and Quinn is kind of whatever. like her whole personality is uwu and its kind of annoying but i dont hate her or anything

the story is such a fucking mess?? udndidn i have NO CLUE whats going on 😩 if they manage to make everything make sense by the end ill be REALLY impressed cuz damn wtf is going on

im romancing sean!!!!!! what can i say, i have a type and that type is self sacrificial idiot. he has a heart of gold and he deserves better and aaaa 😭😭 u idiot man stop putting ur life in danger as the instinctual reaction BLEASE. i just want to wrap him in a blanket and make him take care of himself for once

i also like estela a lot but im not really that interested in romancing her ig? i enjoy our moments together but my feelings for her are more casual ig

i rlly want to like lila but i cannot stand her simping for discount tony stark my god. please lord just make it end

i rlly like everyone's dynamics???? its so nice to see how the group has been growing together more and more. i love them ❤️

i LOVE the vaanti. every last one of them. my beloveds. if they tried to kill us it's cuz theyre valid

varyyn and diego are the greatest couple this game has ever given me i am SO grateful for them. i just got to their first kiss and aaaaaa it was so sweet. upset at choices for not giving me art of their kiss when i had to watch aleister and grace's but 😩 its fine im fine. holding onto hope that ill get art of them eventually but i dont want to look it up and risk spoiling myself

i actually like craig and zahra as a couple a lot too which i didnt expect. i still dont fully understand what happened between them but i really hope they work it out :(

on that note i love zahra. anticapitalist queen. cant believe she fucking hacked wall street. id die for this woman even tho she wasted tiramisu

tbh i dont wanna get off the island. like what for? to go to college? when i could stay with the cool vaanti culture and be happy and not have to worry about capitalism and have sick ass tattoos? lets just kill tony stark and stay there besties

really like how they made the MC's past a mystery? like yeah we have absolutely zero past and backstory as per usual but this time it actually is an integral part of the story that we dont know that we were born in la huerta or basically anything about ourselves truly (even tong stinky didn't so like?). and it was nice to see that being a part of the story rather than just this weird feeling of detachment from the MC

the MC is so stupid and i love him

sean and craig are gay for each other. michelle and quinn are gay for each other. i diagnose everyone with gay

i literally dont have a single theory as to what the hell is going on like not one. and i have gotten almost every clue/idol/file but like i literally have no idea how to tie all of this together. this is such a mess didndkdndkdndidn im kind of excited to see what happens because ES seems to be so popular in the fandom i can only imagine the plot is gonna blow my mind, but im kind of afraid of being disappointed

and thats all ive got so far i think? udndidjd god

[cosmosrival]

👀 Does Kama like to peg Ash? 👀

u know what... ? u know what ?

KamAsh headcanons (AND NSFW HEADCANONS) time!!!!!! i don’t care anymore i had fun writing the kama*master ones 

so have these !!!!! might also become a character analysis and trivia because i cannot stay consistent when im talking about them !!!!

reminder bfore i start: ITS FINAL ASCENSION KAMA. NOT THE OTHERS. 

ok we’re good now

i think kama tops by default in every relationship they’re in, but their true strength resides in the fact that they are vers. and i believe that ash is ALSO vers. because flustered kama is a luxury and super cute and delicious and BECAUSE YOU WOULDNT LET YOUR GOD OF LOVE TOP YOU ???? ARE YOU SURE ??? YOU WOULDNT LET URSELF BE PAMPERED BY UR GOD ? ARE U REALLY SURE ?

ash is very cute because he’s gap moe, his respect for parvati shows that he’s not just a rage machine and can very much think normally like ur regular gold hearted delinquent anime boy !!!! god i Love him... anyway, i think he respects kama enough to look out for them and worship them like a proper God!! i believe that ash would call kama things like ‘your divinity’, ‘your grace’ (and if u have some jp knowledge, i think he’d add “-sama” to their name) because they... are god? (i think arjuna and karna also call them like this !! polite mahabharatan warriors are good boys)

since ash never married in the epic, i like to think that it’s because he was very much focused on his duty and ALSO because his participation in the war was out of loyalty towards king dhritarashtra and hastinapur so he was... perhaps planning on getting married once the war Ends ??? HE WAS OUT THERE FIGHTING !!!!!!! but we all know what happened to him (sheds a tear) 

anyway i think he’d be a bit of a masochist. (the room falls silent and you all look at me)

SORRY THAT WAS VERY HARDCORE ALL OF A SUDDEN but hear me out, FIRST OF ALL this man was able to endure an immortality curse until lord krishna eventually decided to free him so he’d join the throne and SECOND OF ALL, in his interlude he speaks of looking for ways to repent because he regrets what he’s done. and since we’re kinky over here, i’m gonna throw gentle femdom in the mix bc i think it fits them and its cute. especially because kama is literally the best person he could apologize to. and the only person who’d make his repentance pleasurable (because its their mcfreakin talent !!!!!) even if it technically wasnt his fault, i think his need to atone would just... overpower that and he’ll want to do anything kama wants, just to earn a crumb of forgiveness (without being desperate about it because... HES GOT AN EGO STILL, COME ON)

i like to think that he’s tried to apologize properly before... in a tense moment when they’re both more calm and alone. but kama stopped him because it’d just make things worse. if kama loses the need to have a grudge, will they even be useful as a servant anymore ? would they forgive themself for being so lenient ? forgiving their murderer’s protégé when they havent even had proper revenge ? kamadeva might have been a benevolent god before, but now they’re a lot more malicious (mara...) and this pointless anger would just make them look like an idiot (because servant shiva doesnt exist (YET?)). and i think ashwatthama would understand. 

so he won’t say the words “i’m sorry” because it’d just hurt them. 

THO WILL HE STOP LOOKING OUT FOR THEM AND SPOILING THEM ? no he will not

kama would find him interesting because he’s perfect bullying fodder but as i said before, it doesn’t work on ash. HE’S A WARRIOR ??? A CURSED IMMORTAL ? DO U THINK THAT PETTY PRANKS LIKE THE ONES KAMA DOES WOULD AFFECT HIM ? “are you bored ?” he asks while they’re trying to surprise him from behind and jumpscare him, without even turning to face them. kama groans in defeat.

SEDUCTION DOESNT WORK ON HIM EITHER AND THATS SO FUNNY but thats where it becomes subtle, he grows attached to them because they’ve gotten used to eachother’s presence (and strength in battle... small things like that). love can be born out of simple things!! blatant bimbo seduction doesn’t work on him but when he comes to wake kama up, and they’re too lazy to get up or float and groggily order him to lean forward so they can hold onto his shoulders so he’ll lift them up when he straightens himself is...

he’d find it cute. they’re cute. when they reach the cafeteria it’s still quite early and he already knows what they like to eat and get their plate ready for them while they’re waking up and yawning. god... they’re cute... its so subtle and cute...

......ok time to be horny !!! (TOMATOES GET FLUNG AT ME)

i think that they’d reach this stage after a while, when kama just gives up on bothering him cuz he’s annoyingly strong (and ganesha is more fun to bother anyway) and since they’re around eachother very often, kama would grow comfortable around him. same for ashwatthaman ! they’re very nice to be around when they’re calm and just chillin. 

the only teasing kama hasn’t tried on him is being openly horny and come onto him, asking him things about himself. and ash revealing that he’s never done these sorts of things before (HES A LIL MAD CUZ ITS EMBARRASSING ... DAMN... !!!), i think it’d give kama ideas. I MLAUGHING TYPING THIS BC I DIDNT THINK OF HOW THEY’D COAX HIM INTO GETTING NAUGHTY YET AND IT SOUNDS LIKE A BAD PORN INTRO AHHHHHHHHHHH

ok yeah like i said i didnt think of the coaxing yet but knowing ash, kama could turn it into a competition and make fun of him a little and he’s ready to go. arrogant dummy. 

he’s polite but his arrogance is a charm point because he’ll def want to prove himself to the god of carnal love. imagine kama’s reaction when he actually outfucks them.

HONESTLY ? I BELIEVE HIS WARRIOR STAMINA WOULD JUST BE INCREASED ONCE HE BECAME A SERVANT. AND KAMA WAS NEVER A WARRIOR theyre a lavish and lazy god.

BUT THEIR EGO IS WOUNDED and their shocked reaction is cute and ash wants to keep holding them for a little longer

their sessions genuinely feel like hatefucking at first since they’re both weirdly competitive like that but then, guilt hits and kama feels like an idiot because they just came onto someone thats supposedly their enemy??? and they’re a bit distant in the aftermath, they almost... look a little shy. 

ashwatthaman isnt beating himself over it as much as they are tho. it felt good, he got to see a new side of them he never thought he’d get to see so intimately and... he outfucked God :) SO HE IS PROUD. but looking at them lying there, breathless and looking all sad worries him. so i can see him leaning forward and spooning them, holding their hand and kissing their fingers and it’s such a soft gesture, kama stutters and asks “Where.. where did you learn to do that.” and seeing their reaction, Ash blushes as well and explains that he saw his father kiss his mom’s hand once???? AND ITS... SUCH A CUTE AND OBVIOUS REASON. kama feels dumb for asking but it makes them chuckle. 

and i think seeing someone who constantly looks so tired and depressed, have a genuine little chuckle would melt ash right there. i think he’ll want to see more. 

AND FROM THAT POINT ON, i think kama would also get used to this... intimacy they start to share. when he wraps his arms around them he always hugs them in this protective way, as if he wanted to shield them from something. and when he holds them like that, they always feel the need to wrap their legs around his waist, hide their face against his neck and Allow him to cuddle them.

they both have an ego u know aha. so if u openly ask them about eachother, they’ll get embarrassed and shut u down. IT’S... IT’S NOT LIKE THAT (sweats)

it is. it is like That. 

ANYWAY THEYRE BOTH VERY VERSATILE and ash is pretty much into everything kama could teach him about. like i said earlier, he’s also fine with being manhandled, mostly the feeling of kama’s nails gently pressing against his skin, or being bit. i think he’d be into getting a lil feral.

a mutual once said that sexually liberated ashwatthama is hot as hell and i feel it in my bones.... kama coming onto him after a particularily short mission that got ash angry but not enough to let out some steam --> they get pounded into the mattress and they live for it because riling him up when he’s like that is actually really fun.

OBSESSED WITH THE BOTH OF THEM SLOWLY SEEING IT AS A GAME AFTER A WHILE... 

OH ash bottoming is also very cute. his first times would be awkward but kama is a pro at this anyways and i’m finally going to answer ur ask: YEAH HE GETS PEGGED !!!!! he finds out how excited he gets when kama calls him a good boy !!! and he never knew that he was into these sorts of things but holy shit it feels nice.

when kama gives him his first blowjob he almost loses his mind

what i really love about kama is that they can see how tense he gets, even if he’s having a great time, and i know they’d teach him how to relax. EVEN WHEN THEY’RE RIDING HIM, they’ll massage his pecs and his shoulders, set the pace and squeeze down on him just to hear him moan. stare at his surprised little face because he didn’t know he could make THAT kind of nois e ? ? ? ? ?

HE’S EMBARRASSED but he doesn’t want them to stop

OH YEAH i wanna come back on the whole masochist thing (I GET SNIPED), him getting repentance and being punished through sex is both very liberating and hot as hell, especially when it’s kama. ashwatthaman moaning ‘your divinity’ like it’s a prayer is also hot as hell !!!!!!! IDK i just think that they can both get very intense, and also last a while, until they’re thoroughly SPENT.

...and leave room for softness. kama gently brushing his wet hair behind his ear, leaving him breathless and a little shy. they then lean in to kiss him and he immediately melts into their touch. but then they bite his lip. and he ... he Likes it but he could almost pout.

time to get a little angsty (i lock gazes with you) i think that after a long while of sharing such a relationship, ash would almost say The Forbidden Words in a daze. and kama deeply kisses him so he stays quiet. and they’re just staring at eachother, until kama tells him that he’s not allowed to say it. and if he does, it’ll almost be a betrayal towards shiva AND themself. they’ve grown impossibly close but neither of them can say Those Words because they both feel like they’ll break something.

also bc they both have huge egos.

but i think that deep down they really want to say them. 

another variant of this is kama wanting to make him admit it, have him say Those Words. but because of his blessing and respect towards lord shiva, he cannot. both because of the guilt and that it’d end up feeling like a lie, even if his touches, his kisses and the way he looks at kama screams otherwise.

BUT REE WHAT ARE THE FORBIDDEN WORDS

"I Won't Say (I'm in Love)" Hercules (1997).

is this enough of a clue ;;);)););;;))))))) HAAHA

THEY HAVE SO MANY LAYERS TO THEM ITS UNREAL

anyway shower sex hot !! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i also think that them mutually jerking eachother off is hot as all hell and ONCE AGAIN, flustered ash who doesn’t know what he’s doing (at first) is cute !!!! cute !!

ashwatthaman LEARNING from kama is also a big fave. they’re abt to bathe in kama’s luxurious bathtub they had master buy for them and they’re removing their earrings and he silently leans forward and bites their ear and suddenly their face is red. god. huge dummy god of love. i love them soooo much its unreal

THEIR DYNAMIC IS BASICALLY.. I WONT SAY IM IN LOVE but still look at eachother like they’re newlyweds everytime they get intimate and (sheds a tear) i think theyre super married

GOOD GOD .......BODY WORSHIP IS SOMETHING THEYRE BOTH HEAVILY INTO ALSO. both giving and receiving, even if kama is a lot less obvious about it and a lot more smug.

oh, i think ash would be the loudest between the two !! THIS ONE WAS OBVIOUS. hearing him like that would also coax kama into making more noise as well so its win-win 

ok to be honest i think i should draw porn of them being soft like... THERES DETAILS I HAVE IN MIND THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO WRITE DOWN IN THE HEADCANON FORMAT and i’m too nervous about writing fics (looks away) but i have things to draw.

ANYWAY I THINK THIS GOT VERY LONG ????????? SO IM GONNA STOP HERE. IF U MADE IT THIS FAR: THANK U FOR LISTENING TO MY BRAINWORM !!!! 

[jakeperalta]

Thanks for talking to me and understanding and everything nice you said. I think Folklore is a great first step to this kind of songwriting. I dont know if that's something she wants right now or for the next album. A lot of people say they want a Folklore part 2 but she never does the same thing twice. In the future, I think she could write an amazing musical..either with an album of hers that's a full story eventually or an awesome jukebox musical. She worked with Andrew Lloyd Webber so I can dream lol. Do you think a full album with a somewhat connected story would be successful tho? Also What do you think about some people saying that something is off with Taylor? They were saying this cuz she didnt say anything about Biden winning the election. I personally dont agree with that or dont think anything but there were a lot of posts saying they are worried about her. I think maybe cuz she knew this magazine interview was coming and she wanted a total surprise. Also was the Capital One commercial supposed to be a clue to that or? Why did it show Easter eggs of Folklore?

Omg sorry I'll space this out now. What did you think of the interview? I know it happened a month ago but to me she seemed fine and pretty happy but I guess we dont know. She said she read Rebecca..I only watched the movie but now wondering if the book is worth it but I'm not a big fan of older books. Didnt you mention reading it too? Anyway I loved how it seemed mostly like a normal conversation lol cuz she kinda shared a lot, and it's so crazy that she will be as legendary as Paul McCartney one day so who knows where her career will go. One thing she said in the interview confused me though. She mentioned how she only wrote the topline of Folklore and idk what that means. I asked my sister who knows about music and she didnt know either..cuz she also said she didnt write any of the music and I always found that weird. Is that just because of quarantine..doesnt she usually write instrumentals or at least how the song sounds? Omg I just thought of a cool song idea that Taylor could do. Like a princess trapped in a castle..kinda has the theme of isolation in quarantine. It could be a part 2 or more grown up version of Love Story about how she had to break out or be free, kinda like Brick By Boring Brick by Paramore and if it was anything like that sonically I'd die. Maybe she is past songs like that about fairytales or even proving people wrong but I think it's a fun idea. Sorry this is long again..I sometimes wonder if other people read what I write and think I'm crazy lol. I hope you dont mind me talking about Taylor so much cuz you're not a full Taylor blog.

ok i’m just gonna put my answer under a read more because it got very long for people to scroll past lol

yeah i think a musical written by her would be amazing! andrew lloyd webber actually said himself that she could write a great musical so we can hope! i think that kind of album would be maybe less commercially successful (especially in the era of streaming and people listening to individual songs more than albums as a whole) but she’s definitely at the stage in her career where she can go a bit more out there creatively without necessarily worrying about sucess.

honestly i’m not worried about taylor either, she’s said herself she’s enjoying having a more private life and it’s healthy sometimes to take some time being less active on social media. she’s still popping up with various little videos for different awards/events so it’s not like she’s gone into full hiding. i have no idea what the capitol one easter eggs are hinting at but knowing taylor i’m sure it’s something!

i really liked the interview, it was nice to get a bit more insight into the process that led to folklore and just like where she’s at now! i read rebecca in the summer and loved it so i recommend, i think as far as classics go it’s pretty easily readable and doesn’t feel really outdated (and i love that taylor also read it in lockdown!). writing the topline means she wrote the lyrics whereas aaron dessner wrote the music, so he would send her an instrumental and she’d add the lyrics on top (i think with jack it’s usually a bit more collaborative in terms of lyrics/production but i’m not sure if that’s the same with folklore). i think she probably did it as a way to sort of experiment with a different type of genre and sort of try a different way of writing. i know that it was the same with cruel summer, where jack and st vincent wrote the track then taylor wrote the lyrics/melody on top. that sounds like such a good concept! i think it would be cool for her to revisit the fairytale type vibes from some of her earlier songs from like a more grown up perspective.

[pokefanbri]

I got in touch with my 1st love a couple months ago..hes a half native American & white dude, pretty pudgy now like triple the size of himself in middle school lol. Doesn't have much time left on this earth I feel for him, im glad I know now cause if I hadn't it probably would've been alot more devastating. Doesnt have to wear a mask cuz really whats the point. We met for coffee, got to hang out at the mall & he visited my work, we did talk & clear the air..got some things out that were left unsaid & i gotta say it really did help & we're better for it 😊 we're now cool & no hard feelings.

We used to be on & off in hs but the last time I broke it off with him for good reasons & also due to my mother 😒 If it weren't for him & our own experiences, & then every guy since...I would've have known how much I really love or attached I can be to someone (which has been all of them really but does disintegrate over time & going into new relationships they become just a distant memory as the yrs go by & then ur all about the new guy 🤔 basically right) or how unattached I can get when I just dont love them anymore...(of which has only happened twice)

For the record I've had 5 relationships my whole life...not counting flings..out of 2 they broke up with me.. & they so happen to be the ones i fell hard & fast for...its a common theme but they are the best ones I've experienced & I think I have a confirmed type now that I think about it lol. Im thinking too much again, but..they're top tier unforgettable.

I fell damn fucking hard this time around just like I did Thomas..don't think I got enough of him either...😤 seriously wtf is it with these charming & hilarious, headstrong, smart ass, string bean, stoner, Leo men fucking my heart up after only a few months time! What is the universe trying to tell me! I swear to God in another lifetime they would've been friends its an incredible likeness. History repeated itself it seems..I was so in love with him too, we were only 19 but omg he was awesome & we were ALL OVER EACHOTHER 🤤. He was my coworker, a red headed skinny bobblehead tho, & lived in my apt complex his best friend Danny boy did too in his own, hard core Call of Duty players I remember they high jacked my tv for optimum experience...😒 walking the tv across the parking lot was super sketchy looking lol.

Anyway after Thomas broke up with me for saying the L word "too soon" it freaked him out I guess & my brain cracked from the devastation...doctors are convinced it was the weed 😒 and apparently I ODd on Tylenol...crock of bs btw but whatever...i couldn't sleep & for days I was in a haze til I finally called my aunt for help & all of a sudden I was locked away in a psych ward for 2 weeks so they could observe what was wrong & diagnose me. Had to quit pima college & stop working, put everything on hold for my health. After I came back, Tom admitted he wanted me back but he hated my 1st love with a passion. I confessed I was back with my 1st as he was there at my side & visiting..when Tom had no idea where tf I was, me missing worried him sick. I had no clue & for all I knew he forgot about me while I was grieving over us in the hospital (I couldn't have my phone..knew a select few #s by heart otherwise he would've been the 1st I'd call), I was still dazed & super fucked up from the hospital..just outright exhausted when Thomas came to my apartment wanting to try again....yea I messed that up though regretfully. I told him the truth...I know it hurt him, hurt me too. Never saw Thomas again 😔 he was my 2nd, wonder how he is.

After I broke up with my 1st there was like a 1 or 2 month relationship with a fat Irish dude named Patrick I met from college, he insulted my mom..kicked his ass the curb 😂 yea she chased him away too just like my 1st...but an Irish version..was kinda a deadbeat anyway good riddance. I was alone for about 5 years after that til eventually met my ex-husband matt & was with him for technically 7 years & then that ended.

Long story short I was hit with another love bomb over the past year (T2.0 lol) & the fallout is taking forever to disapate lol...well good technically I don't want it to yet lmao, it feels good to love someone with a full heart except for the fact they ain't here 😔

I love genuinely & with a full heart, ive never had a problem with love, except for my abusive mother I sought approval for....never have I been with someone that didnt want it...didn't want me, until him. If someone shows that to me in a relationship it hurts me at the roots, u don't understand how much it brings out that little girl that just wants to be loved back..to be wanted. It hurts to think im not even worth that. I realize though that he may have his own issues to get past first b4 he can learn to give it back & its not my fault. I should on some things honestly but I don't blame him..not anymore. I blame my own trauma that made me so fucking sensitive & off-putting to him, going from 1 relationship to another without healing first, & not knowing how to function walking on eggshells around a new person trying not to piss them off...not knowing how to do a fresh relationship from the start again....when you've been with 1 person prior for 7 yrs.

I grew up being beaten as a kid, I have no father, my mother chose drugs over her own children, everybody in my family arent like a hallmark card far from it...its fucking tucson ok it's a hell hole. A good amount are notorious for causing trouble around the city, nobody talks to eachother..stays away & fends for themselves, or just killing themselves with drugs & selfishly hurting people around them. Very few of us are really trying to make it out & create life for ourselves but it's really hard to escape because we're all struggling. I cry because I've been strong for way too long on my own, I cry when I think im not good enough. Besides some relationships & friendships along the way for support guess who's always taken care of herself to survive, yours truly. It's a huge accomplishment that I've never been homeless, only a couple times have I had to rely on a friend or family member for a roof over my head & that was just 2020-2021,boy is it good to have connections during a pandemic phew, alot more tough to find someone willing to help. My big sis Lisa, my mentor assigned to me at 12 yrs old cuz my mom couldn't be a real parent lol...she says im a strong princess thats gone through hell & back, she's seen me do it countless times, she can attest to how much of a boss & survivor I am...she knows I deserve nothing but to be appreciated,respected, valued. I'm underestimated all the time because apparently people think they can read what kinda person I am just by looking at me or by word of mouth, hell no very doubtful screw u lol... i don't need anybody's belittling opinions of what kind of person I am ok, how about talk to me & ill see if u in the ballpark lol cuz I guarantee im a boss ass goody 2 shoes that can kick butt 😊. So listen here, I know my worth & I deserve a prince to keep me safe from the big bad world right? I need an actual shoulder to cry on not someone that'll walk away when I need them most 😔 Why tf do I feel like rapunzel & all I get is fuckin Flynn 😂 I'm a queen ok, hear me now.

This will be my 3rd own rented apartment. The 1st time I was a teen & imancipated...had that place for a few years 1st & 2nd love era, 2nd time was the escape from my mother as an adult & I moved away eventually got married. And now at another turning point in my life... escaping a very different hell & losing pretty much everything including the man that started it all, 3rd time is the charm right. Fuck my life sidewinder style. Honestly this is the best apartment complex I've found that I want as my home....its gated nothing can touch me from outside unless I say so, so at least im secure to a point.

Why am I talking and not sleeping 😐 I'm tired, it's 5am now. Yeaaaaa I'm done 💤

[normal-thoughts-official]

Idea--Shadowhunter training might not go into sex further than 'have kids' but it's brutal and rigorous. So Alec is used to hiding noises, so much so that he's quiet during sex. Magnus of course, worries. Is he doing something wrong? Why hasn't Alec said anything to him? Is he not attracted to him and just trying to spare his feelings? They do talk about it... eventually. Maybe after a smackeral of angst.

jdjdjdndidndidndi i thought you meant that shadowhunters are specifically trained to hide their sex noises im so fucking stupid dudndidndidnk i swear to god that i can read

but that's.... an interesting idea actually. i tend to think that wasnt really how it went cuz i do get the impression that once Alec decided to have sex he really let it go and got into it, u know, plus i may or may not be a lil attached to my "Alec is great at dirty talk" headcanons lmao. on the other hand.... amgst

also i mean while i do think that once Alec decided to say fuck it he really said fuck it, and that tbh he had been repressing for so long that once he got what he wanted he was all but helpless to stop himself from diving right in, there are things that eventually become second nature. that u never even stop to think about. and that shock you when you realize they can be a different way. so yeah, i could see that too, this kind of "doesnt let go of soldier mode even in a completely different setting" thing. and if i were Magnus id legit cry idndjxmxixmdk like if my partner looked kinda neutral and disinterested?? not to mention noises are some of the best parts. #LetTopsMoan2020

also u can easily throw in that sweet trans magnus angst of course u kno, like "he seemed into it at first but then he saw my body and he just.... wasn't. maybe he's attracted to me because i pass but when he gets to see my full body thats too much for him. it's fine. it's happened before. maybe if i do better he won't mind it too much - it was just the first time, i just need to figure out what he likes" so he goes on this little disguised quest to figure out what turns Alec on, and it just leaves him more confused, because alec jumps on him as soon as he gets the chance but then it's just.... the same. silent, looking more focused than in pleasure, and it just made magnus feel more self conscious of his moans and screams u know. so eventually he starts to not get into it, because it just makes him more insecure anyway, and maybe he should just offer to use a glamor or something, because clearly his body turns Alec off so much nothing he does can help it-

and meanwhile Alec just. adores his body and loves every moment of having sex with him, loves eating him out, loves the way he moans. but also i mean there's the inevitable part where he's not fully letting himself enjoy it, because he's still holding back, still seeing it as some kind of exercise. tbh we all know alec's an overachiever and he's probably so focused on giving Magnus pleasure, on doing well, on performing that he doesn't allow himself to fully get into it. he enjoys it, of course he does, but he doesn't even know that theres so much more to it than the tiny part that he's allowing himself to feel

and the thing is, Magnus knows exactly what that's like, because for the longest time he saw sex as a service he did for others, too. theres obviously the Camille sexual abuse part, the way he felt like pleasuring her was what would earn him love, affection, even respect, make up for his other flaws, for his body. but also there's the post-camille stuff, the way he threw himself into sex as a coping mechanism, to feel more in control of his own body. but he never fully allowed himself to relax and get into it and would rather focus on his partner. because it felt too dangerous to let go. because he had a role to play, and something to prove. and that's exactly what he feels from Alec right now

so they're both a little tense and focusing way too much on the others' pleasure and communicating way too little and it's all pretty ironic, but Magnus doesn't realize that until the talk inevitably happens. and it's heartbreaking, because he eventually approaches Alec to ask him if he wants him to use a glamor, and Alec is all like what are you talking about i told you i love your eyes? and Magnus has to explain and Alec is like *jazz music stops*

because he really never stopped to think about it and he didn't notice and he didnt even know that he was doing it? and it's all kind of heartbreaking because Magnus tells him that he knows what it's like and recounts all of his previous sex problems and Alec is appalled. and Magnus even kind of admits that he had been trying to get Alec to enjoy it for so long and he didn't know what to do anymore- and Alec's like i think we've both been idiots

so they agree to redo it, only taking it slow this time. long sessions of kissing and making out and dry humping and exploring each other and themselves. and you know, Alec is pretty much only confident when it comes to direct, clear verbal communication, so he starts to be all like "love it when you moan like this," "you look so pretty when you spread your legs for me," and Magnus is helplessly turned on by it and it shows and Alec goes "oh, you like it, dont you?" delighted and surprised and that only gets Magnus more hot and thats when they find out that Alec loves to talk during sex, and Magnus loves to hear him :)

and from then on things sail smoothly djdndjxn and its an amazing experience for them both, to learn (and in magnus' case, relearn) to trust each other and their bodies, to enjoy themselves, to let go. it's amazing and they couldn't be happier to do it with each other :)