#there is no competition if you truly love yourself and that's something I wanna try and do

[renjunphile]

kiss, cry, fall in love ☆ jung sungchan

୨♡୧ WORD COUNT: 19.3k ୨♡୧ PAIRING: riize's jung sungchan x female!reader ୨♡୧ TAGS & WARNINGS: figure skating!au, skater!sungchan, skater!yn, friends that kiss to lovers!au, secret/hidden relationship, fluff, angst, mentions of anxiety and skating-related minor injuries, lots of pining, lots of internal monologuing, lots of making out descriptions but no smut!, non linear narrative ୨♡୧ SYNOPSIS: jung sungchan is completely, utterly and hopelessly whipped for the struggling skater who keeps him at an arm's length, yet loves the feeling of his mouth on hers in every corner of the globe.

୨♡୧ NOTES: im sorry this is SOOOO long and its just y/n and sungchan being so cute and head over heels for each other. it's kinda a self-indulgent fic and i didn't really explain the figure skating terms, but i think you can make do without knowing what they mean (ask me anything if you wanna know tho!) pls enjoy this cute piece :) anyway, miss u seunghan!!!

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SKATE AMERICA, OCTOBER 2023

Your first love will always be figure skating. There was something about the way the cool air kissed and then smothered your face as you stepped onto the ice, and something about the way your sharp blades screeched as it cut through the top layer. There was something about the way the lights around you reflected on the glossy surface and the way you felt like you were most yourself while cutting through the air.

Your first love is figure skating, and everything to do with it- from the 5am call for training, to the sleepy drives all around the country and the world to get to your competitions, to the cheering, the gasps and the booing from the audience, to the gifted plushies making their home on your couch in your living room, to the stumbles and the landings, to the kiss and cry and most of all, to the skating.

Figure skating was also your first heartbreak- one that you were still trying to get over.

The arena you were competing in today was a familiar one, since you'd completed competitions in both the junior and senior circuit here a couple of times. Over the years, your nerves had truly eased up a little - never totally, of course, but you were always more excited than nervous no matter how well you thought you'd fare.

Still, the familiarity of the layout and the size and the ice was no help towards the pit growing in your stomach that you hadn't felt in competition in years. No matter- you woke up with that dread every single day for months now.

The stands had fallen into a hitched silence when they announced your name over the speaker. You had opened the barrier to the rink with a deep breath and one last forlorn look to your coach, who diverted her eyes quickly from you after a tense smile. It was weird; this was one of the loudest crowds in the grand prix circuit, but for you- last to skate in the short- you could hear a pin drop.

This time last year, you were on top of the world going into your first assignment of the season. You were fresh off the back of an amazing run at your very first Winter Olympics, helping your team secure gold medals in the team event and yourself a silver for your own effort. You had been skating in ice shows left and right in the midst of creating new routines for the new season, and you were on a high in life.

The season had passed well- you won gold, and then silver at your grand prix assignments, cruised through the grand prix final and then swept your discipline at nationals. You medalled for the 4th year running at 4 Continents and then all that was left was worlds.

Easy right? All you had left at the end of the best season of your career was the World Championships against all the skaters you had been consistently beating for years.

Anyway, back to the present.

You continued inhaling and exhaling consciously and intentionally for a while and it felt like forever before the first notes of your music began to boom into the arena and you could make your first move.

All eyes were on you.

It took you a split second to snap yourself from the sudden stage fright that had come over you. For a second there, you had thought that your feet refused to move from their starting position and had anchored themselves to the ice, but thankfully your brain and muscles had connected after a brief pause to send you on your first lap around the rink.

You had a few seconds to compose yourself and perform some intricate arm waving before your very first, and most difficult jump- one you had been rigorously training over and over and over again since the end of the last season when it had sabotaged your Worlds free skate.

When on the ice, the faces of the audience blurred into one continuous mass. You were thankful for this, otherwise you would be staring at the anxious expressions of hundreds of people that would bury and make home in your already fluttering stomach.

You sighed heavily to yourself before beginning the lead up to your jump. You told yourself that even if you didn't make it, it wouldn't affect how the rest of the routine went- you wouldn't let it.

You made the dreaded turn to start skating backwards and counted to 3 in your head before you turned again to take off forward, throwing your arms around yourself and launching your body in the air. You wish you could say that you knew what happened afterwards, but all you know is that you landed on the correct feet and the arena burst into cheers. You prayed that you landed your triple axel, but who knows at this point.

You let out a sigh of relief and continued with the rest of your programme that was ingrained in your mind. You were pretty much running on autopilot, which was not always what you preferred to do in competition. You wanted to be more in control, but honestly whatever got you through this skate would be okay.

The rest of the skate flew by and with each jump and element, you began to loosen up and the cloud in your mind began to dissolve. By the end of it, you could clearly make out the relief and pride splattered on your coach's face.

She gave you a tight squeeze when you opened the gate once more and cooed into your ear how proud she was of you, not that a blip in your routine would make her any less proud.

"Let's go to the kiss and cry and then i'll treat you to whatever you want," your coach Lina squeezed your hand with a reverent smile.

"Well now it sounds like you're bribing me to skate well," you grabbed a Keroppi plushie from one of the attendants that had cleaned up after you, giving her an appreciative smile.

"I always believe that you'll do well," she uttered back.

She sat you down in the middle of the bench and you gave smiles and waves to the camera pointing at you. You finally got to review yourself on the screens showing the live feedback of the broadcast and you were elated to find out that you had in fact landed your triple axel perfectly, instead of just a double.

The score blared out your season's best, just cause it was the start of the season, and it was on par with your scores from the start of last season, so you quickly celebrated and made your way to the media area and the changing rooms.

"Y/N!" you were greeted with a familiar squealing voice and were quickly enveloped in a tight hug.

"Sho! I didn't know you were coming!" you were so happy to see one of your friends around.

Shotaro pulled away and you noticed a towering figure beside him, holding a small bouquet of your favourite flowers, tulips.

"Sungchan," you smiled softly, "Hi."

His eyes were as sparkly as you always found them to be, his lips challenging the pinks on the flowers he was clutching.

He gave you a shy smile back and offered out the bouquet, "Taro and I got this for you. Congratulations on your short."

You wrapped your fingers around the stems and admired the vibrant orange and pink, "I bet you guys were holding your breaths. I know I was."

"It was incredible, as always," Sungchan assured you.

"Every skater goes through this, Y/N. We always know you're giving your best and we always believed you would recover," Shotaro hummed sincerely, "Anyway, we came because a lot of the gang is skating tomorrow. We begged our coach to let us come to this assignment and surprise you and the boys."

Shotaro was the first friend you made outside of your skating club in the junior ranks. He had approached you years and years ago, telling you he admired your skating and offered to be skating friends. In a career that was sending you everywhere around the world with never any stability, it was good to be friendly with people that could end up in the same assignments with you.

He had introduced you to the boys he had befriended himself and that was something you were so grateful for after you stopped finding yourself lonely in the cities you were drawn to.

You recalled seeing Anton and Wonbin drawn to this assignment too, but you hadn't had the chance to see them in their practice or otherwise.

"I'm gonna talk to a few reporters cause I can see my coach giving me some death stares to do them right now, but wait for me and we can get dinner? Or are you seeing the boys?"

"Toni and Bin have practice just after this and the others are watching, so we can get dinner just us and then we're hanging out in Anton's hotel suite after if you wanna join," Shotaro explained, "But yeah, go!"

You gave them both smiles and turned around to make a beeline for the press area, trying to ignore the booming feeling in your heart seeing the tall brunette for the first time in months.

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WORLDS, MARCH 2023

"Last to skate, Y/N Y/L/N."

You set off into a lap around the rink before settling in your starting position. You were well poised to walk away with the gold medal this competition, after ending up second in the short program and the competitor above you falling out of her combination in her free skate just before you. It wasn't that you prayed for the downfall of others, it was just that you had to take advantage of all you could.

Still, you were incredibly nervous. Your warm up and public training yesterday hadn't gone so smoothly considering you under-rotated your triple axel and landed your other quads shakily. You didn't know what was wrong with you- you were rounding off the best season of your career so far and this was just one last programme before you could have time to relax for a bit.

Lina gave you an encouraging thumbs up from the side and mouthed a good luck. You gave her a nod and waited for the music to start.

You had polished this routine to perfection, having performed it for two seasons already, so you were able to hit every piece of choreography perfectly as you led up to your first jump.

It was weird, the minute you began the lead up to the axel, this unfamiliar feeling began to nestle itself into your stomach and your mind and you didn't even have a split second to shake it away before you shot up in the air.

Then something snapped.

It felt like time had stopped and you were frozen mid spin in the air. The world had gone quiet and you could suddenly see the faces of everyone contort into worried gasps in slow motion. You didn't know how many times you spun in the air. It should have been 3 and half, but maybe it was 5 and maybe it was 2. It seemed like the laws of physics were non-existent as time suddenly snapped back into motion and you were on the floor the next moment.

You had no idea what was happening. Your mind had completely fogged up as you pulled yourself up. In the replays of this moment, you'd later see your coach in the background motioning for you to stop your skate and retreat, but you had bit your lip to stop the tears and continued your skate.

It was as if you blacked out for the rest of your free skate. All you remember was spinning around and around and trying your hardest to get back on track, but that was incredibly difficult when you had popped out of your quad lutz and fell again on your triple-triple. The audience was stunned, watching in silence and shock as the most likely contender of the competition was skating the worst in her entire career. Even in your junior years, you had never placed lower than 5th and you had certainly never popped out of your jumps before. You could probably count on one hand how many times you had fallen in competition, and this skate was obliterating that statistic.

You received your score in the kiss and cry stoic and unmoving. As soon as the cameras switched, you bolted to the halls of the arena while your coach shouted behind you. It took less than a minute for you to lose her as you navigated the maze of the 'backstage'. You were running on your skates (protected, of course) and you were running on some kind of adrenaline that was currently preventing you from breaking down. It would run out soon enough.

You had finally run into a corridor where the lights weren't activated until you stepped into them, so you had felt safe enough to hide in one of the rooms in the hopes they were empty.

The one you had barged into was a small dressing room, but evidently it was occupied by some people judging by the skate guards on the coffee table and the Team Korea jackets thrown on the couches. You didn't care as long as it was empty.

The silence dawned on you after the ringing that had been plaguing your ears since you came off the ice. It was then that all your emotions erupted and you fell to the floor in body-shaking sobs.

You had no idea what had happened at all. Nothing in the world could explain it and you had never felt like this skating ever again. In fact, skating always made you happy- it was the one thing in life that felt like it was for you. You never belonged anywhere else doing anything else. Skating was it.

So why did that happen?

You had heard of a phenomenon in gymnastics- the twisties. It was the sensation of losing yourself in the air, with your mind and body disconnecting in the middle of an element. It was one of the scariest things that could happen to a gymnast, and maybe that was what you had experienced.

Your tears were falling like a rainstorm on your sequinned dress and you felt the creeping of a throbbing and thunderous headache as you cried into the couch.

That was probably why you couldn't hear the door opening and a tall, young figure skater strolling in with a hum before he stopped in his tracks, noticing you on the floor, "Uh-"

Your eyes snapped to the leaning figure and you couldn't even make out who it was through the tears.

"Y/N?"

That was a voice you knew anywhere.

"Sungchan."

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SKATE AMERICA, OCTOBER 2023

"Where's your next assignment again?" Shotaro mumbled out through his mouth full of noodles. The three of you were in a hole-in-the-wall ramen restaurant downtown in the city, somewhere that one of your club-mates had recommended.

You grimaced, urging him to finish his bite first before speaking, "France. So soon."

"That's my first event," Sungchan hummed, sitting diagonally across from you.

Sungchan was one of the quieter ones around you. Of course, that possibly didn't reflect his usual personality around his friends while you were absent, but you'd noticed that in a large group, he tended to flitter on the outskirts and just listen.

"I'm off to Canada in a few days and then to Japan," Shotaro added, "I keep telling the federation to invite some lower ranked skaters to give them Grand Prix experience, but they keep including me in their domestic picks."

"Oh what a shame! You're popular in Japan!" you rolled your eyes playfully and chuckled at him, Sungchan joining along with you.

"Yeah, whatever. I want to experience other assignments. You know i've never been seeded to France?" Shotaro grumbled, "But yeah, I guess a home crowd is always the best crowd."

"The only time I experience a home crowd like that is for nationals, where all my competitors are also the same nationality. Then no one has a home crowd advantage," you mused, "I hope I make it to the final though- I haven't been to Italy in a long time!"

"I believe in you," Sungchan cheered timidly. You returned his musings with a gummy grin.

"Thanks, Sung. After Worlds I stopped believing that phrase, to be honest, but I think I'm getting better at internalising it."

"Ah yeah," Shotaro hissed, "A lot of the guys haven't seen you since. I don't know how much you want to talk about it; do you want me to tell them not to ask?"

"Thanks for being considerate, Taro," you said, "But I think i'm okay to talk about it if they ask. I think I'm coming out the other side of that dark tunnel now. And my therapist says talking about it is the best way to get over it. I guess she's paid to talk about it with me so maybe she just says that so our appointments aren't filled with silence."

Your best friend gave you an understanding nod and continued digging into his bowl of ramen. A comfortable silence fell between the three of you as you finally stopped chattering and were able to divulge into your food. You made small talk about the bowl in front of you- how good the broth was, how chewy the noodles were and how tender the meat was.

After the bill was split three ways, you huddled into the back of a taxi that was taking you to the hotel that most skaters had booked for the competition. You were squished in the middle, thanks to your shorter stature compared to Sungchan and Shotaro, but in an effort to not make Sungchan uncomfortable, you tried to scoot closer to Shotaro. It was pretty much a futile attempt considering the way Sungchan's broad shoulders sprawled over his seat and yours.

Still, you sneaked some glances over to the quiet Korean, who was peering out of the window and watching the busy streets of downtown Texas. His side profile was one you admired, with his enviable nose bridge and plump lips that were pulled into a somewhat pout as his eyes followed the people and the lights outside.

"Hm?" Shotaro poked you with a whisper, "You okay?" You didn't even know that you had dissociated and were staring expressionlessly out through the windshield.

With this, Sungchan snapped his head to you, eyebrows pulled in concern as you dismissed them with a wave, "Yeah i'm fine guys. Just thinking about stuff."

"Well don't plague that pretty head of yours. We're here tonight to help you take your mind off things," Shotaro was well aware that you still had some anxiety about skating and competing, and he mainly dragged Sungchan along to Texas just to help you through your first competition since your disastrous World's run.

Sungchan hummed along, agreeing with Shotaro and soon enough, the taxi was pulling up in front of your hotel. You rolled your eyes when Shotaro pressed on the penthouse button in the elevator; Anton often booked the most expensive suite at his competition hotels, claiming his environment had to be perfect or else it would affect his performance. Whatever, all the more space for all of you to hang out.

Sungchan produced a keycard from his pocket and you could already hear some commotion from the other side of the door. As soon as you heard the beep and the click of the lock opening, you felt a stampede of footsteps running towards the door.

"Noona!" Anton beat everyone to wrapping his arms around you, "Haven't seen you in forever."

"Yeah, I know. I've been a recluse these past few months. I missed you guys though," you giggled into his neck.

"Congratulations on the short," Eunseok hummed as he hugged you.

You received the same sentiments from the rest of the boys before you were being dragged over to the plush L-shaped sofa that they had begun to make their home at, judging from the blankets and jackets and snacks.

"Are you guys excited for tomorrow?" you asked Anton and Wonbin, recalling that the men's short program commenced in the afternoon.

"Excited, nervous; it's all the same emotions," Wonbin shrugged, "I kind of hurt my knee in practice today so hopefully it's okay tomorrow."

You winced at the prospect of an injury. It was so difficult to gauge how much certain bumps and grazes could actually affect you until you're on the ice and giving your all.

"Don't hurt yourself, okay?" Seunghan nudged his friend as he nuzzled into the corner with his blanket.

"Yeah, trust me, you don't want to make it worse," Sohee groaned. He had been dealing with a knee injury for a better part of 6 months and he was praying it would miraculously heal itself before his first assignment in one month.

You plopped down in the middle of the couch and to your surprise, Sungchan took his seat next to you. You tried not to make a big deal out of it, meeting his eyes for a brief second before turning your attention to Eunseok and Shotaro rock-paper-scissoring over who was choosing the movie. Shotaro won and the rest of you groaned, knowing that he was about to subject you to Studio Ghibli film again. For as long as you knew the boys, which was a long time, but you hardly saw them, you had cycled through the whole roster maybe 3 times over.

"How about we don't watch a movie and just chat shit instead?" Seunghan murmured sleepily from his position, "Like to start with, how's everyone's love life going? Any updates?"

You threw a pillow at him, knowing the question was directed at you. The 7 boys were attached to the hip in Korea, all training at the same rink (how the coaches managed that, you don't quite know) for the majority of the off-season. They knew everything about each other.

"Yeah, Y/N, how's your love life?" Sohee teased with a shit-eating grin.

"Non-existent, as always," you rolled your eyes, "I literally don't interact with any guys outside of the 7 of you in this room and that's even a stretch. The only man in my life is my cat at home."

"Why don't you date one of us then?"

Sungchan erupted into a coughing fit and you all looked at him strangely before deciding to address Wonbin's crazy suggestion.

"Sorry, swallowed my spit wrong," Sungchan avoided your eyes and chugged the water bottle he had snatched from the coffee table. He was thankful that everyone moved on from him.

"Wonbin, what the fuck?" you turned back to the long-haired skater, "Are you in love with me or something?"

"Psh, you wish," he dismissed, "But i'm just saying it makes sense. We've been friends for years, you trust us, you can't be bothered to go look for a man and i'm sure the thought of dating even just one of us won't kill you."

"Shut up, Bin. Did you hit your head or something cause that's some crazy allegations there," you defended, "You can't skate with a concussion, you know that right?"

"I'm legit fine," he rolled his eyes and began annoying Eunseok who was sat cross-legged next to him.

Your relationship with these boys was somewhat complicated, you would say. They were your closest friends in the skating world, but you also barely saw them and befriended each one on different levels.

You knew Shotaro better than everyone and you considered him a brother to you, meanwhile Sohee and Anton felt like your children since they adored you so much. Seunghan and Wonbin were your drinking buddies in whatever corner of the world you could find them in and you found yourself museum-hopping with Eunseok more often than not.

And then Sungchan. Ah, Sungchan.

Sungchan was just a consistent and quiet presence in your life. You didn't know much about him but he always appeared in the most random times. You weren't sure if Sungchan just treated you nicely because he felt obligated to because of your friendship with the others, or if his considerate but small gestures were out of his own friendly affection for you. There were phases that you convinced yourself that Sungchan disliked you and merely tolerated you for the sake of the others, but he would always prove you wrong otherwise in ways that you like to cast out of your memories.

Sungchan remained pretty quiet for the rest of the night, only chirping in when he felt like he could add something to the conversation, but the warmth radiating from his body next to yours gave you constant comfort. You would say the two of you were friends, but it was hard to quantify and label what you and Sungchan were exactly.

Eventually, Anton and Wonbin began dropping hints that they were tired and needed to rest up for their skate tomorrow, so you began to usher the boys into their rooms. The two competitors were sharing the three-bedroom penthouse, but with the surprise from the boys, they were having to squeeze 7 to the suite. Of course, Anton and Wonbin needed their beauty sleep, so the rest of them were cramming themselves into the 2 king beds in the third bedroom.

The two skaters bid their goodbyes first and you gave them good luck hugs, promising to watch the event tomorrow if you were able. This left the other boys and you standing around the coffee table looking at each other with no purpose.

"Uh, Shotaro and I are going to the gym," Wonbin began.

Sungchan perked up at this, "Oh! Let me co-"

"No!" Shotaro cried out suddenly, "You're not invited! Sorry! C'mon Bin let's go get changed," he dragged the smiling boy towards the spare room in the suite.

You looked around in confusion, noticing Eunseok, Sohee and Sunghan looking mischievous, "We're going to get chicken," Sohee declared, "I know you don't eat fried chicken so close to competition, right Channie? So why don't you walk our dear Y/N to her room? It's dangerous out there, you know?"

Their intention must have flown over your head as you furrowed your eyebrows together and shook your head, "It's okay Sungchan, I can go by myself! It's only a few floors down and you should rest. Must have been a long flight."

He mirrored your action as he reluctantly tugged on your arm, "It's okay; I'll walk you. I wanna get something from the vending machine anyway."

You gave him an unsure look, but relented when he returned a confident smile. You said good night to the boys who were slipping on their jackets and followed Sungchan out of the suite.

"I'm sorry they made you do that and they all just left you," you scurried after him. His long legs were definitely no match for you, "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything so you can just go down to the machine!"

"Hey," he interrupted your ramblings as the two of you entered the elevator, "Don't worry. We're friends, right? And I would hate if something happened to you on the way down. You have a pretty crazy fanbase, you know?"

You grimaced, thinking back to the time that a couple of fans had stalked you around Toronto when you had competed there once. Sungchan was right, in fairness- you never know what information people have access to.

"Thanks, Channie," you reluctantly called him by his affectionate nickname that the others loved to coo at him, "I also think they decided that you're the most eligible bachelor for me, considering they all dipped and left you behind."

"Ah, they're crazy," he rolled his eyes, "Ignore them, please!"

The two of you had reached your floor and you were glad that your room was close to the elevator. You took out your keycard from your jacket pocket and opened the door. You hadn't had time to unpack before going to training the day before, so all that was in your room was your free skate dress hanging in the exposed wardrobe to let the wrinkles drop out, and your closed suitcases in the corner of the room.

"Well, uh," Sungchan scratched the back of his neck, "Goodnight, Y/N."

"Sungchan?"

He looked up at you with glimmering doe eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to come in?" you moved aside to give him the choice to.

He chuckled in amusement, "Yeah, I do."

He stepped foot into the room and kicked off his shoes while you peeled off your jacket. As soon as the lock clicked shut behind him, Sungchan snaked his toned arms around your waist and attached his lips to yours.

Okay, confession time.

Your relationship with Sungchan was incredibly, incredulously complicated.

It all started 3 and a half years ago when your high school boyfriend broke up with you over the phone between your short and free skate in Canada. Sungchan had been the only other one of the group who was competing at the same assignment and although the two of you weren't close, the boys sent him to your hotel room with chocolate, tissues and a picture of him to rip up or stab with a pen.

You had embarrassingly cried your eyes out all over his training shirt and then pathetically asked him to distract you from the heartbreak by making out with you. You couldn't say that 18-year-old you was very smart or emotionally available. Well, to be honest, you still weren't particularly any better.

Anyway, the next day, the two of you decided to never talk about it ever again, swearing to never tell the boys anything and decided to continue with your semi-awkward acquaintanceship.

That was until the two of you stumbled into each other months and months later at a fellow skater's birthday party halfway across the world and ended up making out again in a coat closet for a good amount of time.

And then it carried on like that- finding places to make out around the globe, swearing not to say anything to anyone and then not talking about it ever again.

"We should really stop this, you know," you panted against his lips.

"You say that every time," Sungchan muttered, slotting his tongue between your lips and snaking his smooth hands to your throat, "But totally, yeah. We should stop this."

"Okay, this can be our last," you decided, as he led you over to your bed and pushed you gently down.

To be honest, you would say that you didn't know much about Sungchan despite making out with him 2 or 3 times a year because it was a correct statement. The two of you never really did anything else other than blow off some steam by making out. You never shared meals together or cuddled in bed indulging in pillow talk. It was always a transactional thing. It was weird in your head- all that the two of you did, but Sungchan was too good of a kisser for you to care about all the details of it.

"Better make it worthwhile, huh?" he peppered kisses down your neck until he reached the spot that had you putty in his hands. Sungchan knew better than to leave marks that your friends would definitely not let go of, so he just bit and sucked for a short time before connecting his lips back to yours. Your shirt had creeped up your torso, exposing a sliver of smooth skin that Sungchan attached his large hands to while he laid waste to all your emotions by kissing the breath out of you.

You didn't know how long had passed until Sungchan pulled away with blown out pupils and a pant. A small smile tugged onto the corner of his lips, which you couldn't help but poke, "What's with you?"

He giggled, "Nothing, nothing. You're beautiful, you know?"

A blush rose up to your cheeks and you broke your eye contact with him. It was weird- Sungchan seemed so confident when he was alone with you, but the moment he stepped out of the confines of your little situationship, he returned to being quiet and mysterious. You wished that you could get to know who the real Sungchan was.

"Shut up," you dismissed, cupping his chin and bringing his face down to yours. Sungchan stopped himself until your noses touched and he nudged his against yours sweetly before kissing you once again.

Kissing Sungchan felt like the world stopped spinning and it was only the two of you. All your worries disappeared and every stress left your body when Jung Sungchan's was on yours. He had this amazing power of making the world tilt on its axis the minute his lips touched yours and frankly, you were addicted to the feeling of him.

Your heart was completely and hopelessly beating out of your chest with the way his lips melded perfectly between yours and it was times like this, alone in a hotel room in a city you'll only ever see the ice rink of, that you forgot what your relationship with Jung Sungchan was.

"You should go," you murmured, halting his actions, "I have training early tomorrow."

"Yeah," he untangled his limbs from you and gave you a limp smile, "It's good seeing you again, Y/N. We haven't spoken in a while."

You internally cringe, thinking back to all those nights you sometimes contemplate texting him, only to realise you really don't text or speak at all outside of the groupchat. You think the last time you spoke was when you greeted him a happy birthday over text, and even that was a very fleeting exchange.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Channie," you felt the emptiness rise up again in your stomach as you walked him to the door. You were back to acting like nothing had ever happened between the two of you and as if walking you to your room was the only thing he did, "Thanks."

He bid you a soft goodnight and disappeared around the corner. Your hands rose up to your swollen lips and you sighed.

What were you actually doing?

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JUNIOR GRAND PRIX FINAL, DECEMBER 2017

"Urgh," you kicked the vending machine in anger as it withheld your drink in its clutches. It was a futile attempt as it sat on the edge of the shelf, taunting you. You gave it a few more hopeless kicks and groaned in frustration.

First, your triple salchow in your program was a total mess and definitely under-rotated, and now the vending machine wouldn't even disperse the drink that you paid the last of your Japanese coins for.

"Do you want some help?" a soft voice called out to you. You turned around and came face to face with who you presumed to be a skater judging from the pass hanging around his neck. He looked kind of familiar, you thought, but you couldn't put your finger on it.

You tried to give your politest, "Sure," but he could probably tell you were annoyed.

He enveloped the vending machine between his two sprawling arms and gave it an abrupt shake. You sighed in relief as you finally saw the melon milk can tip over and fall into the hole.

"Ah, thank you," you crouched down to take the drink, "I'd buy you a drink for that but I just used the last of my money."

He gave you a dashing smile, finally meeting your eyes.

Ah, wow.

He was certainly an attractive boy, with light brown fluffy hair and eyes so big that it made you swoon. This guy was almost two heads taller than you, but he was still built from the soft definition of muscles you could see from his short-sleeve top.

"It's okay," he assured you, flashing you the coins in his palm, "I was gonna buy myself a drink. I'm Sungchan, by the way. I'm a skater from Korea and I'm competing tomorrow."

It clicked in your head suddenly, "Jung Sungchan? Shotaro's friend? I'm Y/N!"

He smiled sheepishly, "I know who you are, of course," he motioned to your ensemble consisting of your competition dress, "You literally just came off the ice, you know that? Plus, Taro talks about you all the time."

You looked down at your costume and your feet that were still in your covered skates, "Oh, yeah. It wasn't my best out there. Anyway, sorry for not recognising you- Shotaro also talks about you guys a lot but he never shows me pictures. It's my fault though- I know I've probably been at numerous assignments with you guys since I've known Sho."

Sungchan popped open his can of strawberry milk, "You're quite harsh on yourself, you know that? Shotaro always says that about you. It was an amazing skate and you swept your competitors. Even if you made a small mistake, it doesn't take away from the rest of your incredible elements. You should always be proud, because those who watch you always are."

You tilted your head at him, a near-stranger offering you some comforting words, "Ah, I've never thought about it like that. I guess I'm harsh on myself because I want to do this for as long as possible. My dream is to win an Olympic gold."

"You're probably the closest out of all of us. Your skate in Norway was out of this world!" he chided. It was true- you already had a Winter Youth Olympics medal, but that was never really a predictor for the real thing- wait, he was at Norway Youth Olympics. Maybe that's why he looks so familiar to you?

You fought the smile arising, "Well, skating's an unpredictable sport; you never know what can happen. You just have to hope for the best," Sungchan opened his mouth to reply, but you could see your coach appearing around the corner, "Ah! I have to go- my coach is coming! It was nice meeting you, Jung Sungchan. I'll definitely see you around and good luck for tomorrow!"

"You too, Y/N," Sungchan watched as you bounded over to your coach, happy to see that you were in a better mood than when he first encountered you. That feeling did something funny to his stomach.

⋆｡°✩

GRAND PRIX DE FRANCE, NOVEMBER 2023

You're on top of the world, and then suddenly you're not. That's the feeling you get when your blade collides with the ice so abruptly, shooting the pain all through your body as you fall on your triple axel again.

You think that you don't even breathe for the rest of the free skate, just running on pure adrenaline pumping through your muscles to get you out of this situation. Fight or flight was really taking over, but you knew that you could never step foot on the ice again if you decide to leave halfway through.

Your coach fussed over you as soon as you stumble out, shell shocked and delirious, but not yet crying.

"Y/N?" she snapped her fingers in front of your face, "Are you okay? Go to the medical team and get that checked out now," she ordered you.

They're satisfied that you didn't sustain any injuries with that fall; you think your mind took the worst of it. You're hunched over on the examination room bed, blanket around your shoulder and shivering.

All you need right now is someone to hold your hand and tell you everything's okay.

"Sungchan?" you whispered into the phone when the call finally connects.

"Y/N! What happened? Where are you?" he sounds breathless, as if he's been running around.

"I'm in the medical room," you looked around the empty room, thankful they gave you the privacy you needed to process, "Can you find me?"

"I'm coming, don't worry," he assured you, "For now, just breathe okay? Just make sure you're breathing. In and out, okay love?"

Love.

Sungchan doesn't bat an eye on this or even try to correct himself. It's something that slips out so naturally to him and that gets your mind going at another 100 miles per hour. Well, at least you weren't thinking about your skate.

It took Sungchan a few more minutes to find the medical room, having asked two staff members along the way. The whole time, he stays on the phone, making sure you're still okay.

He knocked twice and entered the room, finding you in the corner, just staring at his contact information on your phone. Sungchan pressed the hang up button and sighs in relief as he finds you.

Reluctantly, he approached the stiff bed and wrapped his arms around you. The second he does, you melt into his embrace and he's more confident to squeeze you tighter.

Your body begins to shake with sobs and Sungchan feels his shirt become damp, so he places his hand on your head and gave reassuring pats.

"Ah, let it out, Y/N. I know how hard that must have been for you," Sungchan whispered, hoping and praying he was saying the right things.

Falling was nothing new to Sungchan. He fell every day, even. But the immediate feeling you get after it never gets any better. You just have to get better at dealing with the aftermath. He knows you've fallen countless of times before, but after a nearly-traumatic competition all those months ago, he understands why nearly 8 years into your career, you're starting to deal with these new anxieties.

"You're okay, Y/N, you're safe," your sobs let up after a while, but he can still tell that you're still crying, "This is nothing. You're still in the Grand Prix Final and you're still the most amazing skater in the whole world."

You pull away and gave a half-hearted smile through the tears, "Just cause I'm having a breakdown doesn't mean you need to lie to me."

Sungchan is in awe at how beautiful you still look despite the tears rapidly falling. He tucks the hair in your face out of the way and tried to wipe some of the tears, "I'm not a liar. You're my favourite skater and you always have been, ever since juniors."

"Have a crush, do you?" you teased, sniffling and trying to finish up the release of emotions.

"And how bad would it be if I did?"

You tried to ignore him, you really did. You tried to ignore the way his words sent impulses straight to your heart and brain and made you dizzy.

Look, you weren't stupid. You were nearly friends with benefits with this guy and you knew how that usually ended- lovers or enemies. You had been suppressing any emotion all this time to postpone finding out which one you and Sungchan were gonna end up as.

"Y/N?" he called, pulling you out of the trance.

"Hm?"

"Come to Paris with me for a couple of days," Sungchan hums, taking your fingers and playing with them, "I'll help you take your mind off it all."

"Just you and me?"

You think about Eunseok and Seunghan, and how they had expressed their desire to come to Paris after the competition.

"Just you and me," he stated, "Let's just- keep it between us. A healing trip."

"What are you healing from?"

He brings his face close and nudged his nose against yours, "Seeing you cry breaks my heart every time, but I'm glad you come to me."

⋆｡°✩

Sungchan holds your hand the whole 3 hour drive to Paris the next day. While you were feeling better, and watching him skate to a gold also made you happy, you were still fighting your inner thoughts. You look over to your companion, his head resting on his shoulder with his pink lips slightly open as he let out deep breaths. He looked so pretty sleeping, you thought to yourself.

You felt like you were in a romantic film, to be honest. Outside the windows were the sprawling countryside of France between Angers and Paris, and his hand was intertwined with yours and you were sharing an earbud each from his wired headphones connecting to his phone.

You wish you could fall into a slumber like he had, so you wouldn't have to be faced with these thoughts about the two of you. Since your arrangement with Sungchan started, you refused to think about the possibility of anything more between the two of you, convincing yourself that friends was the only title you were destined to bear. When you think about it, you're actually in a much dire situation than you wish to be in. You know you'll have to confront these feelings soon enough the more that Jung Sungchan entwines his life with yours.

Then again, Jung Sungchan has always been in your life.

The minute after you met him at the Junior Grand Prix final when you were 16, you suddenly began to notice him all over the world. He was at nearly every grand prix assignment, every challenger series you participated in and every corner of the world. He was always just there and you never really realised that until recently.

It started off as shy smiles between the two of you and 'good luck's' in passing, and then happy waves and asking each other how you were. When you finally turned 18 and had more freedom at the competitions, you were able to explore town with the boys, Sungchan always in tow since the world loved to put the two of you together.

You didn't know everything about Sungchan but he had already seen you at your worst and at your best. That has to mean something, right?

"We're almost at Mr. Jung's requested destination," your driver cleared his throat, breaking you out of your spell.

You thank him quietly and face the task of waking up what you believe to be the most beautiful sleeping boy in the world.

You reached up to his eyes, pushing the hair out of the way and you cup his warm face with your cold hands. His eyelashes began to flutter, until he woke up at your touch.

"We're almost here," you told him.

He squeezes his eyes shut adorably as he stretches out his body, never breaking his hold on you, "Ah, I fell asleep? Sorry, I didn't mean to!"

"It's okay," you shrugged, "You must be pretty tired considering you had the whole competition and you were last to skate at the gala. You did so well yesterday."

You thought back to how you also met up for drinks with the other boys that night and didn't get into your hotel until 2 in the morning.

"I wanted to spend some time with you, though," he pouted and your head spins at the thought of wanting to kiss the pout off his face.

"We have a few days," you reminded him, "Speaking of, where are we going?"

Sungchan pulls his lips into a sheepish grin, "You might hate it but give me a chance, okay?"

He's right in saying that you absolutely hate the thought of it the second you stepped foot in the building. You pleaded him to do literally anything else in the world as he paid for the tickets and led you past the barriers. You're slow in putting on the equipment and grumbling as you meet him by the gate.

The ice rink is busy, bustling with teenagers, families, couples and everyone alike.

"Give me a chance," Sungchan echoed as he extended his large hands towards you. You nearly laugh at this gesture, considering the two of you were definitely the most experienced skaters on the rink and the possibility of falling was nearly 0, but then you look up at the other couples and groups on the rink, all holding hands as they tried to keep themselves upright.

"We've just spent the last week going around and around the ice until we were going crazy," you began as the two of you set off on a leisurely lap, "And your very best idea for our so called 'healing' trip was to do the same thing?"

He looked at you pleadingly, "Look, I know I can't change the way that skating makes you feel instantly in one day. But I want to get to know you a bit more- find out why you love skating in the first place and hope that I can help you in your journey in falling back in love with skating."

You're struck silent by his explanation, mouth agape. Sungchan smiled softly, tugging on your hand and doing some more intricate steps as you followed. Looking around, there were people of all abilities- adults stumbling and adults gliding, teenagers falling and teenagers spinning, and little children across the whole spectrum of abilities. You awed at the little girl who fell, but got back up immediately, cheeks flushed but expression determined.

There was some couples that you could make out- one partner would be hobbling, holding onto the railing, and then every so often, their more gifted partner would catch up to them in their lap and make conversation, usually grinning and laughing together despite the disparity in ability. You could see the couples holding hands, reassuring each other that they were supported and they weren't gonna let the other fall.

"I was already 9 when my parents first put me on the ice. I fell so many times that my legs were bruised and bleeding up and down both sides and they had to stop me from skating because I was tracking blood and it was a biohazard," Sungchan began, "I hated skating so much at the beginning because I was so bad and I hated being bad at things. I begged and begged my parents to put me into lessons and I was determined to be the best. I hit a stump when I was 13 and puberty hit. I hated how all the easy jumps I could land were suddenly the most difficult thing in the world and it took me a while to find my balance again since I grew so tall in a short period. The time that I hated skating made me realise all the more how much I loved it because it was just showing how much I was willing to give to the sport. That's it, that's my story."

"That's your whole story?" you let go of his hand and skate around him, holding eye contact.

He shrugged nonchalantly, "That's all there is to me. Once I started skating, nothing else mattered. All I do is hang out with you and the boys, and get on the ice at every other time. What's your story, Y/N?"

The two of you skate around an adorable child clutching onto a penguin aid and join again at your hands as you reminisced, "My older cousin loved to skate, so when she would babysit me, she would take me to the rink. At first, my parents hated the idea of that since they didn't want me to get hurt, but I took to skating immediately. It became my life too. School was hard- I was always leaving school early or coming late because of practice and I would be missing days at a time for competitions. I never made many friends at school because of that, so skating was my only friend. I loved everything, but I guess I'm hitting my stump now."

Sungchan hummed and nodded along, "Do you know why?"

"I know it's all in my head," you affirmed, "Me and my therapist agree. I know I can do these jumps and I know that I still do love this sport deep down. I think all the pressure is mounting onto me- you know, continually being the best? But it's all I have and it's driving me crazy. It's the only thing I can take pride in and I think I need something new alongside skating."

"Like what?"

"You're definitely helping," you admitted, looking down, "Not just you. Spending time with you guys is giving me a bit more purpose in life- striving to form better friendships. But you've helped me a lot."

Sungchan grins down at you, surprising you by planting a kiss at the top of your head. He had never been affectionate in public, considering the two of you were keeping a secret from the world, but in this small rink in the outskirts of Paris, he felt like he could shout to the world how he felt about you.

"I don't want you to dread competitions or tear yourself up over your falls. I know there's nothing I can personally say or do to help you, but I just wanna be here for you," Sungchan's words are nearly a confession, but you push that aside as you come to a halt by a little girl falling in the middle of the rink.

"Hey," you coo in your best French, "Are you okay?"

The little girl grabbed your hand with her little fingers and you swooned at how tiny she was. Her eyes are brimming with tears as she tries to find her feet again, so Sungchan grabs her other hand and helps her to stabilise.

He looks over at you, fondness in his eyes as you try to set off the little girl into a slow routine. She's giggling when she is finally able to skate on her own and she thanks you in a cute little voice when she does.

"What's the likelihood that she's gonna be a figure skater when she's older?" you lean against Sungchan's frame, watching her shoot off into the bend.

"Hm, pretty high. You just showed her that if someone's there to pick you up after you fall, it's all gonna be okay."

⋆｡°✩

GRAND PRIX FINAL, DECEMBER 2023

"Song Eunseok," you greeted your friend with a tight hug, and turned to the other, "Park Wonbin! Haven't seen you in a couple of months."

Wonbin affectionately nuzzled his head into your neck, "Did you miss us?"

"I don't know if miss is the right word. Maybe, noticed your absence is better," you teased back, "Isn't this exciting?"

The three of you took your seats right in the front row of the area you had reserved, you in the middle as you watched your best friends warm up on the ice. The other 5 were all participating in the grand prix final, having had the best results in their assignments of the season and were about to compete in the free skate to determine the medalists. Yours had just finished in the slot before, but you were still awaiting the awarding ceremony, hence you still in your costume.

"I would like to be on there with them," Eunseok grumbled, waving hello to a passing Shotaro, "But getting to watch with you isn't so bad."

"There's more seasons to come," you nudged his elbow, "Everyone's on top form this season."

"Especially you, our newly crowned Grand Prix Final gold medalist," Wonbin excitedly clapped, "Three in a row, how does it feel?"

"Like the pressure is still crushing me," you dismissed, "But thank you, Bin. I'm happy."

You steer the conversation along in a different direction, talking about the boys' program and what you were looking forward to see. Anton had a mean quad combination, meanwhile Shotaro's dance elements and step sequences always blew everyone else out of the park. Although you had watched these routines time after time each season, you never got tired of how talented your best friends were.

"Ah right, you went to Paris right? After your assignment there?" Wonbin asked you suddenly.

Your face flushed beet red immediately, "Oh, how do you know?"

"You posted a picture of the Eiffel Tower on your Instagram," Eunseok butted in, "Who'd you go with?"

"Ah, no one you know. Just stopped by on the way to the airport," you lied through your teeth and you hated that you had to do that, but it was your decision anyway.

Sungchan was nearing your side of the stands, and he slowed down significantly as he sent the three of you a wave. You hadn't seen him yet since the end of your free skate that crowned you gold medalist, since he had to prepare to be on the ice immediately afterwards.

"Something's up with Sungchan these days," Wonbin began, eyes trained on the tall figure skating away.

"What makes you say that?"

"I'm not sure," he replied, "But he's like, uh, happier these days? But also more secretive? He's always on his phone and smiling at it and he always sighs when we mention setting him up on a date. Do you think he has a girlfriend he's keeping from us?"

Eunseok nodded along, "I've been noticing that too, actually. What do you think Y/N?"

Your ears flushed red and you prayed they wouldn't notice as you kept your eyes on the boys warming up, "Why are you asking me? You guys spend the most time with him. Plus, why don't you just ask him yourself or wait for him to tell you?"

In all honesty, you were burning with guilt about keeping such a huge secret from the boys, but you and Sungchan were suddenly treading into new territory that you wanted to navigate together first before anything else.

"When we ask him he just changes the topic," Wonbin answered, "To be honest, I thought he had a crush on you. We all did."

"Me?" you exclaimed, looking between the two of them nodding.

"He always talks about you and we thought that was so weird considering you two didn't even seem that close. Channie always asks Taro how you are and we're like: 'why don't you text her yourself?' and then he gets all shy and flustered," Eunseok rambled, "But I guess not."

"Yeah," you trailed off the word, decidedly ending the conversation as the boys evacuated the rink for the first skate.

The thought of Sungchan asking the boys about you made you feel some way- happy, maybe? It was so adorable that he thought of you and that texting you made him shy. You weren't stupid- Sungchan made his intentions clear towards you, but the two of you drew a line and stayed behind it, so you weren't sure what to think. These days, it seemed like Sungchan was destroying that line inch by inch.

Anton was first to skate, so the three of you focused your attention to him instead. A grand prix final with 5 of your best friends was definitely conflicting, but the boys all agreed to never get angry or too competitive with each other and just cheer for each other. Whoever won, won and that was that.

You were glad that all the boys were making it through their programs cleanly and the scores were all in such close proximity to each other that it was actually unclear who might win. Sungchan was last to skate by luck of the draw and by the time it was his turn, you were nearly biting your nails off in anticipation.

While you try not to have favourites between the boys, considering them all to be equally talented in their own ways, Sungchan just had a way of skating that spoke to you. You determined this even before your arrangement.

For a skater his height, he was incredibly graceful with long limbs creating beautiful lines and silhouettes. Despite his abnormally broad shoulders, his jumps were well balanced and tight, and his athleticism made all of them look so easy. His choreographer and coach really used all of his features and abilities to create the most visually stunning and technically superb skate.

"Hyung's been on fire this season," Wonbin muttered beside you, in awe of his friend that was so magnificently treading the ice.

"He's incredible," you agreed softly.

Sungchan was incredibly passionate about figure skating. Of course, you all were since it was your careers and if you didn't love what you were doing, you would quickly burn out. He just had this fire in him that you hadn't seen reflected in other people in a very long time, and that's what you admired about him.

Pushing your own feelings for him aside, you watched him intently as he led up to the most difficult skill in his arsenal- the three of you in the stands all linked arms and muttered prayers and pleadings. It felt like you were on the ice instead- you couldn't breathe until it was over.

"1, 2," you counted under your breath as he took off into his quad lutz. It was almost as if you watched him jump in slow motion, counting every turn until he landed, switched sides of his blades with an euler, before taking off into his triple flip.

You were still holding your breath when Wonbin and Eunseok dragged you up as they jumped up to cheer and whoop at the clean landing and combination. Jung Sungchan was truly one of a kind.

"He's so good," Wonbin squealed as you sat back down to watch him finish off his program, "Crazy good."

You're completely captivated by him for the rest of his skate and it even takes your coach multiple tries to catch your attention to tell you to come down to prepare for the victory ceremony. You plead to wait until Sungchan finished his skate and she just clicks her tongue and gives you a knowing smile.

The rest of the event goes by in a whirlwind, accepting your medals and flowers and taking pictures with your fellow medallists. You speak to some media and change into your comfier clothes, relaxing in your self-prescribed dressing room, which was just an empty room with a table and a couple of chairs.

A knock at the door snapped you out of your trance thinking about your program, and you shouted for them to come in.

"My gold medalist," Sungchan grinned over at you from the door as you jumped up to greet him. He's holding a gorgeous arrangement of flowers in his arms, extending it to you once more, "A gift from us."

You took the flowers, admiring the colours and the smell, before placing it down with the other gifts and your medal, "You guys are always so sweet to me. Congratulations to you as well; that was one of the best programs i've seen in my life!"

"Thank you, Y/N. And Taro says you're our only ice princess so we should spoil you," Sungchan chuckled, slowly approaching you closer and closer, "Anyway, they asked me to come and get you so we can go and get dinner together."

"They asked or you volunteered?"

A smirk took over his face, "Now why would I want to get you alone?"

"Who knows?" you teased as his large hands cupped your cheeks and guided your face to his. All tiredness left your body as you melted into his kiss and you wished that time would stop so you could do this forever.

He captured your lips with his own soft and plump lips, nibbling and kissing so softly and delicately, as if he would break you. It was worlds away from the way you two would make out ferociously in dimly lit hotel rooms after competitions ended at night. It was intentional, sweet and utterly heart-clenching.

"My gorgeous champion," Sungchan murmured against your lips, connecting them again passionately as he snaked his arms around you.

"Channie, we talked about this," you whispered, "We're just getting to know each other still."

Sungchan playfully rolled his eyes and left a fleeting peck before he pulled away, "I know, I know. Let's go before the boys get suspicious?"

He offered out his hand after you picked up all your things and you laced your fingers together and walked out side by side.

⋆｡°✩

PARIS, NOVEMBER 2023

November in the city of love and enlightenment was certainly a chilly ordeal. You were wrapped up in infinite layers, face red and tucked behind a wooly scarf and hat. You would think that since your profession was being around literal ice all day that you would be acclimated to the cold, but Paris was tearing you a new one with its weather.

You and Sungchan were taking a stroll by the River Seine, people watching and basking in each other's quiet company. The thing with Sungchan was that you felt comfortable with him; you's been friends for 6 years anyway, but all this time, you had kept him at arms length in order to protect your heart. Sungchan was still somewhat of a mystery to you- all his thoughts and all his feelings unknown.

"I heard that at night in the summer, they have people play live music here and people will dance along all night," Sungchan sighed, watching the couples stroll by with arms and hands interlocked, bundling together tight to warm each other up.

"That really sounds amazing," you replied, trying to stop yourself imagining dancing with Sungchan by a twinkling river on a cool summer night, "I want to come to Paris again when it's warmer and fully explore it!"

"We should do a trip," Sungchan said and you don't even ask if he meant as a group or just the two of you.

"Y/N?" he called again.

"Hm?"

He stopped to lead you to an empty bench, sitting with a considerable gap away from you before he made the bold move to shuffle closer. Sungchan stared you in the eyes with a longing gaze, "How come you trust me so much? How come you let me stay through your vulnerable moments when I know you don't do that with the others?"

You paused to think momentarily about his question that you'd pondered yourself during sleepless nights many times, "You're always just there. Whenever I end up in a situation like that, you somehow always find me like you have some spider-sense that i'm breaking down. And your presence calms me; you don't even need to say anything," you talked through your thought process slowly, trying to make it make sense in your head as well, "I feel like you understand me well whereas others may feel like I'm self absorbed and selfish for freaking out over such minor mistakes. And I can just feel in my heart that I can trust you. Thank you for always being there for me, Sungchan. I hope I don't burden you with my own breakdowns."

Sungchan smiled shyly, taking your gloved hands between his, "I'm really thankful that you do trust me. Don't ever think that you burden me because I do want to be there for you. Me and the boys hate seeing you so upset, so whatever I can do to help you through is nothing for me; we're in such a demanding field that it's important to have a good support system."

"You guys have really made my career. I don't know how I could have lasted this long without all of you," you emphasised the 'all', hoping he would catch on to your allusion of how special he was to you.

"You know, Y/N," he began, voice suddenly shaking and nervous, "I've been meaning to get some time alone with you in the daytime to talk for a while now."

You chuckled anxiously, "Did you take me to Paris to break up with me? Break up as in end our arrangement?"

"I like you, Y/N," he deadpanned, dismissing your pessimistic comment. Your heart started beating fast instantly, "I really like you and I can't carry on what we have until I tell you. We can move forward however you want: we can end the arrangement or just carry on as we are, but I just wanted to tell you."

His words don't shock you much. You think Sungchan has been confessing in his own little gestures and actions for some time now, but he finally threw the ball in your court.

You looked down at your intertwined hands, smiling softly and exhaled a puff of white frost, "We were bound to fall for each other, right? I just don't want to to hurt you since I've been in a bad place this past few months. I'm slowly getting out of it, but I just don't want to drag you down with me."

"I just want to be by your side," Sungchan whispered gently, "I just want to be able to kiss you in front of the world and call you mine."

"In front of the world?" you teased, ignoring the way your heart was swooning at his sweet confession.

"I know it's selfish of me, but I don't want to hide you forever," Sungchan voiced out, "I want to text you how you are and not feel like I'm overstepping and I have so much more of myself I want to give you."

You finally met his eyes again, "Let's make a deal, Jung Sungchan. Let's get to know each other well and more intentionally over the rest of the season and try that out. When it ends, we can think about what's next."

"I like the sound of that," Sungchan grinned, "I can still kiss you though, right? I think I'd die without it. The months between Worlds and your first assignment was hell for me."

"You're so dramatic," you rolled your eyes playfully, nudging your shoulders against his.

"Y/N?"

"Yes, Sungchan?"

"Does that mean you like me back?"

You let out a laugh that Sungchan swears is the best thing he's heard in his life, and you pulled him by your entwined hands, telling him you want to go see the Eiffel Tower.

⋆｡°✩

SOUTH KOREA, APRIL 2024

Shotaro is smiling happily as he placed the orange juice pouch in front of you on the sand. You're sat on a blanket, knees tucked up to your chest as you watched the waves crash against the rocks peacefully. You think it's a good time to swim since the tide might be too strong later.

"Thank you," you coo at your best friend as he laid down beside you, flicking his sunglasses over his eyes.

You pierced the pouch with the straw and let out a happy sigh as the freezing cold juice invaded your taste buds. Late April in the south coast of Korea was thankfully warmer than the previous weeks you spent in Seoul with a new choreographer, piecing together your new program for the upcoming season.

The beach house behind you does very little to block out the sun, considering the sun is shining the opposite way and down to you, so you had made sure to lather up in sunscreen before relaxing on the beach. You had read half your book before Shotaro woke up from his short post-breakfast power nap and decided to join you on the sand.

"I think Anton and Sohee are still asleep cuddling," Shotaro laughed. You had tried to wake up the pair for breakfast, but they had both grumbled and sent you on your way back to the kitchen, nestling into their shared bed even more.

"They can be in charge of lunch then," you huffed, "When's everyone else coming? What time is it?"

"It's only 11:30," he told you, "I think the other 4 are all arriving together soon- maybe around now."

You, Shotaro, Anton and Sohee were able to make it first to the beach house that you all booked for a peaceful week and a half trip. You had already stayed the night, but the other boys had commitments that meant they could only come now. It was all fine, since you were there for a pretty long time anyway.

A comfortable silence fell between the two of you as Shotaro closed his eyes and took in the fresh sea breeze.

"How have you been since Worlds?" Shotaro broke the silence.

"Better, but I'd hate to find out if my happiness only stems from redeeming myself at this year's Worlds," you recounted. The last time you had seen the boys previous to the trip was the Worlds Championship the previous month, the same competition that caused a year-long spiral down into near insanity. Thankfully, you managed to escape scot-free and with a gold medal around your neck.

"How does it feel now stepping onto the ice? Does that dread still overcome you?" Shotaro asked softly.

After your worst skate on the world stage, it had taken you nearly a month to step back onto the ice since every time you attempted, you were instantly tossed back into that moment. It took another month before you even tried attempting your signature triple axel again. At your first assignment, you had felt fear instead of excitement as you began.

"I don't think so," you said lowly, afraid that if you said it with anymore confidence, it would come back to haunt you, "I think i'm on the other side completely. I have you and the boys to thank for that."

Shotaro smiled proudly, grabbing your hand and squeezing it tight affectionately. You missed speaking like this to your best friend, just the two of you- on rooftops, beaches, cafés, ice rinks, diners- spilling your hearts and confiding in each other. You hated that you were still keeping such a big secret from him.

"Hyung? Noona?" you heard a soft voice call out behind you. You turned around to find Anton peeking only his head out of the double doors at the back of the house overlooking the beach, "The others are pulling up!" The two of you shot up, picking up your blanket, your book and your trash before skipping through the sand to reach the house.

You were nervous, quite honestly, but the good kind, which was new for you. You hadn't seen Sungchan since Worlds (though you've stayed much more connected than in the past when apart) and all you could think about was the agreement between the two of you to revise your arrangement once the season had ended. And it has.

However, the talk was still pending.

You joined Sohee and Anton watching from the wide open front door as the boys were getting their bags out of the car trunk and rolling it up the driveway.

"Vacation time!" Seunghan whooped, dancing into the house with his suitcase in tow and a plastic bag filled with clinking glass, "We're going to get fucked up this week!"

"Well hello to you too, Hannie," he approached you with open arms before you were pulled away into another hug.

"Hmph," you were taken by surprise as Wonbin crushed your frame.

"Haven't seen you in ages," he said sadly. He wasn't at Worlds since he had injured himself slightly at 4 Continents before that, so it had been a while.

"How are you?" you poked his arm, "How's the knee?"

"It'll be totally fixed up before the season starts," he dismissed, grinning at you before going to greet the boys. You quickly hugged Eunseok and turned your attention to the last one through the door.

"Sungchan," you quickly enveloped his waist in a tight hug and he wrapped his arms around your neck and leaned down to your ear.

"Hey there," you could feel him smiling, "Missed you."

You pulled away quickly, trying to not be obvious in front of the boys, simply giving him a smile of reciprocation as you all migrated to the living room.

"D'you guys claim rooms already?" Eunseok looked around at the interior of the beach house.

"Hm," Sohee nodded sleepily, "Anton and I took the double bed on the right of the stairs and there's a room with another double across it."

"My room has a single bed and a double so two more of you can stay with me," Shotaro explained, "Then our princess Y/N gets the master bedroom all to herself."

You grinned teasingly at the boys who affectionately cooed at you and your overpacking. Your clothes were all currently sprawled out everywhere since you dug deep into it to find your pyjamas the night before and didn't bother to unpack properly.

"Dibs on the single," Eunseok rushed out, to which the other boys groaned at, "What? Shotaro likes to cuddle at night and I get too hot for that."

"I'll cuddle with you, Hyung," Wonbin said cutely, wrapping his arms and leg around Shotaro's side. Shotaro chuckled and fondly agreed.

"Yay, we're roomies!" Seunghan tugged on Sungchan's arm, "What are we doing today?"

"How about relaxing?" Wonbin groaned, "Sleeping?"

"Yah, you already slept the whole drive down!" Eunseok protested, "We can unpack and then grocery shop?"

The others seemed to decide that was a good idea so you also headed up to your room to sort out your clothes. Normally, you never properly unpacked in the countless hotel rooms you stayed in, since you only every brought your skates, your costumes and a couple of comfortable sweats to lounge in in between skating sessions. However, since you were staying for a while and doing activities (Shotaro made sure to book a place far from any ice skating rinks), you had to bring a lot of clothes.

Leaving your door open as you sat on the wooden floor and arranged your clothes into piles, you saw Eunseok and Wonbin drag their suitcases up the stairs and onto your wing of the house and they peeked in.

"Wow, noona this room is so nice," Wonbin expressed, "You're so lucky."

"Yeah I deserve not having to share with you guys. You're all pigs," you threw a sock at him that he threw right back.

"Guys, come look at the master," Eunseok craned his head and called over to the other boys bringing their bags up. Eunseok and Wonbin crossed the landing to their room to make space for the approaching Seunghan and Sungchan.

"Wow," Sungchan gasped in awe as he traversed the room and past you, "A bay window looking out at the sea?" He clapped happily as he stretched out across the cushions on the bay.

"Yah, get off! It's mine," you pouted, getting up from the floor to check the view outside. Since you arrived after the sun had already set, you didn't get to see what the view was like before and in the morning, Shotaro had dragged you straight down to the kitchen without even letting you do so much as brush your hair.

You could see from the corner of your eye that Seunghan had turned around and closed the door behind him, which left you slightly suspicious.

"Why did he close the door and leave?" Sungchan frowned, sitting up and patting the cushion next to him for you to have a seat. You sat down, twisting your body to examine the view. It was so peaceful and you couldn't wait to see how the sunset would illuminate your room in vivid colours.

"Beats me," you shrugged, "Did you tell them anything? They've been suspicious that you've been dating someone since grand prix final!"

"Yeah, I know. They keep bugging me about it," he rolled his eyes, "But I haven't said anything!"

"Hm," you hummed, "Anyway, how was the drive up?"

"I called shotgun then Eunseok demanded that I stay awake the whole time to keep him company," Sungchan recounted, "Seunghan and Wonbin were completely knocked out in the back, but it was a nice and smooth trip. What have you guys been doing here?"

"We all just explored the house and then went to bed last night pretty quickly, but Taro and I had breakfast and sat on the beach for a bit before you guys came."

Sungchan shuffled over, his hips bumping against yours, "Mhm, sounds nice! We should take a walk on the beach later. A nice long walk on the beach."

"Just us?" you inquired, brow raised.

"To be honest, I'm not really sure how to get you alone without the others being suspicious. This is probably suspicious enough," he pointed at the door, "They're all probably on the other side with their ears pressed against the door."

"We could just tell them," you suggested cautiously, "That we're getting to know each other?"

Sungchan dropped his head onto your shoulder and sighed, "I like keeping this to us. Our own little secret. It's fun for now, but maybe when we get a bit more tired we can tell them. We'll find a way to spend time with each other a little bit, but I guess it's a group vacation after all."

"Yeah, let's not stress," you agreed. Sungchan started playing with your fingers, twisting your rings and measuring up his large hands with yours before he entwined them together. He peered up at you from your shoulder and reached up to press a kiss along your jawline. You rotated your head to look down at him and before you know it, he had stolen a kiss from your lips.

You nudged him off of your body playfully as he tried to lean in for another kiss, "Go unpack! Hannie's gonna get suspicious!"

He feigned displeasure as he got up and stretched high, nearly touching the ceiling, "Mhm, okay, whatever you say. I'll see you later, love."

You bit back a grin, "Bye Channie."

⋆｡°✩

Sungchan is pushing one of the shopping carts as Shotaro and Sohee trailed behind him. In reality, they should be ahead, but they stopped far too often to point at random things and Sungchan was getting impatient. The three of them were on snack duty, while you, Eunseok and Wonbin were on ingredients duty, as you were the best cooks. Anton and Seunghan had skipped away the second you all arrived and every so often passed by and dumped an armful of things in the cart.

"What kind of crisps should we get?" Shotaro placed his hands on his hips and examined the vast wall of options in front of him. He picked out a few, Sohee following also and placed them in the cart.

Sungchan spotted a rare flavour to find, "They have truffle flavour! Let's get this. I think Y/N likes these."

"How'd you know that, hyung?" Sohee questioned, not interrogatively, just nonchalantly.

"Uh- I think she's mentioned it before," Sungchan stammered, "Let's get drinks."

Shotaro shot him an unsure look, but skipped ahead of the cart anyway to find the beverage aisle. From a few aisles down, Sungchan could hear you laughing with Wonbin and Eunseok and he wished he was by your side.

Eventually, you all converged at the checkouts, carts full and wallets about to be emptied, metaphorically. You had chosen a bunch of meats to grill on the patio down to the beach and lots of ingredients to make side dishes and other random things. The three in charge of cooking followed their task diligently, whereas Anton and Seunghan had produced a pool floater, a bunch of water guns and so many hangover sticks that you were all worried about how much Seunghan was going to force everyone to drink.

You returned to the house in two cars, the same groupings as how you came to the house and rapidly unpacked everything.

"Today, Eunseok, Wonbin and Seunghan are in charge of lunch for everyone," Shotaro declared, "We'll take turns making food each mealtime!"

Everyone made noises of agreement, slowly dispersing through the house as the cooks brainstormed what to serve.

"Does anyone want to go on a walk on the beach? I haven't seen it yet," Sungchan queried to no one in particular. Anton and Shotaro had turned around guiltily from where they were crouched under the TV. You could see that they were fiddling with some wires and powering on the console that they brought to the house. Ah, boys.

"Gonna play FIFA," Shotaro held up the game case sheepishly, "Maybe later?"

"I'll come with you now," you offered slowly, "I love the beach!"

Sungchan gave you a knowing smile and turned to Sohee, "What about you?"

Sohee looked up at you and Sungchan and then down to Anton and Shotaro, who had widened their eyes in order to communicate with him. He opened his mouth and spoke hesitantly, "Uh, I wanna play as well. Is it okay?"

"Mhm, suit yourself," Sungchan shrugged, happy on the inside that he had found a way to be alone with you.

The two of you slipped on more suitable footwear and grabbed a few snacks before heading out onto the beach.

(Meanwhile, Shotaro, Anton and Sohee were smirking in the living room, delighted that their own devious plan to get you and Sungchan together was coming into effect.)

"That was easy," Sungchan chuckled as you chose a direction to walk down.

"Surprisingly! You know how much Sohee loves the beach!" you frowned again but shook out the suspicion, "Whatever. I'm happy to spend time with you."

The second you were far enough from clear view from the house, Sungchan had interlaced his fingers with yours, happily swinging your conjoined arms between you. With his other hand, he ran it through his fluffy brown locks and basked in the soft breeze of being down by the ocean.

The beach was fortunately pretty deserted of people, since it wasn't terribly hot in climate yet, but there were a couple of people dotted around closer to the water.

"This is definitely what a healing trip is made of," he sighed contently, "That was a hard season."

Facing your own challenges didn't mean that the boys also weren't experiencing some hardships of their own. You know that Sohee was taking it hard with some injuries and Sungchan had only introduced his hardest combination the season just past, which is never easy.

"We all deserve a little break," you agreed, "To spend time with each other and definitely not talk or think about skating at all."

"What a dream," Sungchan was too elated being on this trip and it had barely begun, "Here with my best friends and my best girl."

You had stopped in your tracks and punched him softly in the chest, "Don't say that!"

He lowered his neck to meet you at your eye-level, "Why? Did it give you butterflies?"

You scoffed, pushing him away from you, but he decided to wrap his arms around you instead and sway your bodies around.

"You're too bold now, Jung Sungchan," you huffed, "Where's the boy that never speaks whenever we're around people? And the boy that blushed every time we kissed in secret?"

"He found out that the girl he liked likes him back and was giving him a chance to woo her off her feet!" Sungchan poked his tongue out at you and finally let you go, returning to your linked hands and continuing to walk.

"Woo?" you laughed at his teasing.

He nodded affirmatively, "Yeah, woo. Have you been woo'ed?"

You looked away for a second, hesitant to be so candid with him, but you figured that if he was so bold, you couldn't let this chance slip away.

"You're my ideal man, Sungchanie," you admitted quietly, "I like everything about you. I like having you by my side."

His face heated up so suddenly, so far removed from the confidence that was radiating off him just seconds ago. His heart was beating out of his chest as he tried to utter his words as casually as possible, "Enough to make me your boyfriend?"

You nibbled on your bottom lip to stop you from freaking out and smiling like a maniac, "Is that a confession? Is this our evaluation?"

"You already know I like you," he affirmed softly, "If you're ready for a relationship and if you're ready to have me in that way, you're in control."

You were still walking, barely looking at each other and too shy.

"Ask me."

"What?"

"Ask me the question," you whined as he seemed to play dumb.

Sungchan grinned down at you, his bambi eyes sparkling in the sun as he shook his hair out of them. He paused your stroll momentarily, turning to face you and closing the distance between your feet.

He nudged his nose against yours, a favourite move of his as he took a deep breath, "Y/N," he began slowly, "Please can I be your boyfriend?"

"Sungchan!" you laughed suddenly, "The question is 'will you be my girlfriend?'"

"That's not enough to express how much I want to be your boyfriend though," he pouted, "Doesn't matter, just give me an answer."

You threw your arms around his neck, still giggling, "Of course you can be my boyfriend, Jung Sungchan. I'm sorry you've been on trial period for like 5 months now."

Sungchan connected his lips to yours, giving you a soft peck, "Don't be sorry. I just wanted to show you how much I wanted to be there for you."

"And thank you for that. I couldn't have gotten through this season without you," you proclaimed gently.

He bumped his shoulders with yours as he took your hand again, "Don't get too sappy. You'll probably hate us by the end of this trip."

"I swear, if you guys don't clean after yourselves and leave the bathroom messy and dirty, I'll kill you all!" you remarked.

Sungchan laughed heartily- a sound that you had grown to adore over the past few months when you would share hushed conversations getting to know each other over the phone at night and calls whenever your schedules aligned. The two of you walked a little further, just talking about your plans for the trip and pointing out the cute, but also the endearingly ugly, dogs that were running around the beach. Eventually, Eunseok had texted you that lunch was nearly cooked and for the two of you to start heading back.

You couldn't believe that you left the beach house in a situationship and came back as a girlfriend! In fact, you probably still hadn't processed the fact that the Jung Sungchan was finally your boyfriend after all these years of creating boundaries and drawing lines to protect yourself and your heart.

All this time, Sungchan was your right person, wrong time, but you were so happy to be able to say that he stayed by your side long enough to become your right person at the right time.

⋆｡°✩

You were breathless and pliant in Sungchan's hold as he pressed feather-light kisses along your neck. He peppered them across your jaw, ending at the corner of your mouth before pulling away.

"Just kiss me," you begged as he smirked above you. Sungchan loved seeing you like this and now that you were officially his, it ignited a new spark in his heart that had always beat for you anyway.

It was past halfway through the beach trip and you had spent the past week lounging around on the beach and exploring the seaside town together. You spent mornings taking walks with the boys, the afternoon sunbathing and relaxing under parasols on the beach and the evening huddled around a bonfire just talking, singing and reminiscing. You were hard-pressed to find time alone with Sungchan, but you didn't mind since you came with the intention to hang out with your best friends and the new season wasn't going into full effect for a few months anyway.

Despite that, Sungchan had been sneaking into your room either before the others woke up or after they went to sleep, usually just to say goodnight and pillow talk, but sometimes to also make out like you were doing now.

Light flooded into the room from the expansive bay window, bathing Sungchan's face in sunlight. His twinkling eyes against his golden skin made you want to stare in them forever.

You were snapped out of your daydream when you heard a door click open and then close behind someone, and then footsteps on the hardwood floor. You pushed Sungchan off of you and he rushed over to sit at the bay window while you straightened out your bed and your clothes to give the illusion that your boyfriend hadn't been attacking you with his lips for the past half an hour.

You could hear a few more doors open and then close, before a knock on your door sounded out. Gingerly, you shuffled to your door and peeked out to find a sleepy and dishevelled Seunghan.

"Noona, have you seen Sungchan-hyung? He's not in bed," he was blinking slowly, as if trying to adjust to the natural light in your room. As he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, you opened the door wider and pointed sheepishly at the missing boy.

"Hey, I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep so me and Y/N were just talking and planning the day," Sungchan hummed as casually as he could muster up, "Do you need something?"

You let Seunghan inside your room and he immediately collapsed on your four-poster bed, sighing as he felt the soft sheets hit his head, "Nah, just wondering where you went and if you guys suddenly all decided to wake up and do something without me."

"You know everyone's so hard to get up in the morning," you mused, "Sungchan and I are the only morning people."

"You must have got closer then," Seunghan mumbled to himself, eyes fluttering shut, "That's good, noona. You weren't always as close to hyung."

You sat criss-cross next to his body as you shot Sungchan a pointed look. Was this the time you were going to reveal your relationship to the others? Sneaking around for the past week had been exhilarating, but it did weigh on the two of you to keep such a big secret from them. 

"We're going to the fair today, right?" he carried on, breaking the tension between you and your boyfriend.

"Mhm, so you better get up and wake the others up so we can have breakfast and get going," you told him as he groaned. Sungchan was just smiling at you lazily from the window, watching your sweet and maternal interaction with the younger boy. You prodded Seunghan a few more times before he finally rolled away and off the bed and Sungchan followed him out of the door, giving you a small wave goodbye.

You slowly got yourself ready for the day ahead, knowing it was going to take a while before all 7 of the boys could wake up and get refreshed enough to leave. By the time you were done, the youngest ones were preparing breakfast in the kitchen, singing along to the song on the radio perched on a floating shelf.

"Need any help?" you cast your eyes over Sohee and Anton who grinned happily as they saw you for the first time.

"Mhm, no," Sohee assured you, leading you to the already set dining table and pointing at the food, "We're nearly done so you can just wait for us or start eating if you want."

For the duration of the entire trip, it seemed like the boys were determined to not let you lift a finger. Although you were happy to help in cooking and cleaning, every time you were on the rotation, whoever was with you would work hard and take a lot of your work off you. Then again, the boys had always been sweet to you. Of course, they were funny, teasing and ridiculous, but at the core of it, they treated you like their little sister even though you were older than most of them. You really think that you couldn't have lucked out more with a friendship group and found family.

Anton served an over hard egg on your plate and you noticed that the rest on the serving plate was filled with sunny-side up eggs. See, they even paid attention to your food preferences.

Seunghan was next to come down, more wide awake than when you saw him last and seemingly energised by the prospect of food. He sat on your right, quickly scooping all of the dishes he wanted but stopping himself from eating until everyone came down.

Wonbin and Shotaro descended next, complaining about how long each other took to shower and get ready, but Eunseok came right behind them hair still dripping, to your chagrin as he made the floors slippery. Sungchan finally came down just moments later and took the empty seat next to you.

"Yay, let's eat!" Anton clapped his hands together as you completed the table.

"Wonbin-hyung, you'll go on the rides with us today, right?" Sohee crunched through his sausage.

"No, you can't force me to do anything," he grumbled and the rest of you chuckled at the man you knew to be so scared of fast and high rides, "I can watch over our stuff if you do go."

That was exactly the coversation you were having 2 hours later as all 8 of you stood in front of the tallest and fastest rollercoaster at the fair. In all honesty, it wasn't even that big and scary considering it was only a small fair that moved around, so the rides had to be simple to deconstruct. Even still, Wonbin planted his feet on the ground and firmly shook his head.

"But there's an uneven number of us," Shotaro whined, tugging at Bin's arm, "C'mon, just this once?"

He pouted and batted his long eyelashes as Anton sighed, "It's okay, I'll stay with hyung. I don't feel that good after that hot dog anyway."

Looking around, all of you had accepted defeat, so you joined the short line for the ride and immediately began grouping yourselves into pairs. At the one amusement park you had joined them at since you guys became friends, you stuck by Shotaro's side the whole time as you were still opening yourself up to the others. This time, you didn't really mind as Sohee linked arms with your boyfriend.

As the line progressed and you were at the front, Eunseok made his way to the back of the pack with you and helped you into the cart before sitting by your side. The climb up was decently steep and you could hear and feel the vibrations of the rails under you. You could also see Sohee still clutching Sungchan's arm and Seunghan and Shotaro preparing to raise their arms up when the ride plummeted.

As it slowly approached the peak, Eunseok cleared his throat, "You guys are pretty obvious, you know?"

You snapped your head so fast that even this rollercoaster couldn't give you the whiplash you gave yourself, "What?"

The ride was so rickety and loud that the boys in front of you couldn't hear you as Eunseok smirked, "You and Channie. Well at least to me you're obvious."

You opened your mouth to say something along the lines of you had no idea what he was talking about, but suddenly the ride dropped and a scream erupted from your throat. From beside you, Eunseok was nearly doubling over in laughter at how he caught you so flustered and shocked.

"Yah, don't run away from me," Eunseok laughed, calling after you as you gave him a pointed stare and ran ahead to catch up to Wonbin and Anton first.

Sungchan with his long strides reached you quickly, "What was that about?"

Anton and Wonbin's eyes were trained on you, so you merely waved your hand and dismissed it, "Nothing, just some nonsense."

You were grateful that Eunseok didn't say anything else when he arrived at the fence the others were waiting at, but for the rest of the fair, he would give you teasing smiles whenever you got so much as remotely close to Sungchan.

The sun was about to set and you were all nearly tired enough to go home. Between the big rides, the boys put on their competitive hats and kept challenging each other to the stalls that were known to be scams. They were probably blowing all of their prize money between them, but you had to keep walking back and forth between the fair and your cars since they were accumulating far too many plushies to hold.

"Just one more," Sungchan pleaded so cutely that you were resigned to say yes to, "Then we can go home after! Song Eunseok! Do this one with me!"

He was tugging on your arm, pointing at the basketball booth before slinging his arm around Eunseok's shoulder and dragging him along. Behind you, the youngests were happily munching on long churro sticks that Shotaro had bought for them, meanwhile he was conversing with Wonbin behind them.

"Loser has to grill all the meat later," Eunseok bargained. It was the two of them on main dinner duty once you returned to the house.

"Well what if we both win?" Sungchan huffed.

"Doubt it," Eunseok chuckled, as he handed over his bills to the booth manager.

You rolled your eyes at their antics- everyone knew that the basketball hoops were oval shaped and the chance of getting a ball in was slim. Even still, they both paid for the highest amount of balls in order to have the chance to win the biggest prize. If they got three balls through the hoop, then they could pick from the large prizes.

The boys finally caught up to you guys and sighed at the competition they saw in front of them. Eunseok was very passionate about basketball and Sungcham was very passionate about winning.

"No cheating," Sungchan swatted at Eunseok, who narrowed his eyes playfully.

They both began, the rest of you cheering them on. Both of them missed their first two shots, and they had to make the last 3 to win the big prize. Surprisingly, they also both were able to shoot the next two together, and were staring each other down as they picked up the last basketball.

"You're going down, Song Eunseok," Sungchan taunted, sticking his tongue out. Eunseok rolled his eyes and decided to shoot first at the hoop. You all watched in anticipation as the ball hit the rim... and then bounced off. Eunseok screamed in defeat and all eyes were turned to Sungchan.

He carefully examined the hoop and decided to just go for it. You were all shocked that it went in!

Sunchan whooped in glee, taunting Eunseok before throwing his arm around your shoulder. That was a pretty normal thing for the other boys to do to you, but it certainly wasn't the way Sungchan used to interact with you.

"You can choose the prize, Y/N," he grinned down at you, pointing at the array of large animal plushies attached around the booth.

You gasped as you laid your eyes on the most perfect choice and you leaned into his touch as you pointed it out, "That one!"

The booth attendant took it off its hook and handed it over to you. Gleefully, you held it up to Sungchan and cooed, "It looks just like you, Channie!"

Sungchan was smiling so dorkily at how the large baby deer plushie was making you so happy, and you were both too busy cooing at the plushie to notice the boys, jaws dropped and watching you.

"Uh," Wonbin uttered, "What's going on here?"

The silence that fell caused you and Sungchan to turn around, and upon realising their reaction, you jumped away from each other, still both holding the plushie.

"What do you mean?" Sungchan scratched his neck awkwardly, "You all got a prize for Y/N earlier. I wanted to as well."

Seunghan nodded slowly, "Okay, okay. Sure. But we just got small prizes."

"Is it my fault that I was good at this?" Sungchan retorted as he began walking your group towards the car park. You scurried behind him, hugging the deer close to your chest.

You fell back a little from Sungchan and slowed your footsteps since the boys behind you started whispering to themselves.

"I think Operation Sung-Y/N is working!" Sohee whisper-hissed. You raised your eyebrow at that. There's no way, right? There's no way that they were doing a whole scheme to set you up together with your boyfriend- not that they know that.

You decided not to confront them and joined Sungchan's side again. He had turned to talk to you, but saw you had slowed down so he had stopped in his tracks and waited for you. Sungchan sighed to himself as he watched you bound over with the plushie. He wished he could be in your embrace the way that plushie was connected to you. Frankly, he should have just told everyone else right then as they got suspicious, but he had a feeling you wanted to do it more lowkey.

Later on that night, Sungchan was lying on top of your sheets as you played with his hair. It was his turn to hug the deer- the only one that made it to your bed as you banished the other plushies the boys gave you onto the windowsill.

The others were all downstairs, either preparing the side dishes and preparing the grill or fighting each other on the playstation.

"We can tell them tomorrow," you sighed happily. his hair was so soft and bouncy that it instantly bounced back to its spot after you ran your hand through it, "And then we'll have 2 days here to act like a couple."

"Ah, two days," Sungchan sighed, "When am I going to see you again after that? I want to take you on a proper date, finally."

You gasped to yourself, bringing your hands to your mouth. Sungchan sat up quickly, eyebrows stitched together in worry, "Oh, what's up? What's wrong?"

You began laughing to yourself and Sungchan looked at you like you had grow two heads, "I forgot to tell you guys completely! I have some news for you all!"

"Ah, what is it?"

"I'm going to train in Seoul this season!"

Sungchan yelped in surprise, suddenly attacking you in a hug down onto the bed, "Oh my gosh, really? Are you serious? It's not a joke right?"

You giggled happily as he attacked your face wiyh kisses, "You know my coach Lina? Well, she's pregnant and she asked if I would be willing to relocate to Seoul so she could be around her family and her husband's family! She wants to receive maternal care here, so," you trailed off.

"Oh my, I'm so happy," Sungchan breathed out, "You mean I won't have to wait months in between competitions to come and see you? I can see you everyday?"

"Hey, you have a skating career too," you poked his chest, "Make sure you focus on that. But if it works, then sure! I'm going apartment hunting as soon as we all drive back up to Seoul!"

Sungchan was so elated, dreaming about all his favourite places that he would take you, "Ah, I think there's an apartment empty in our building. Do you want me to ask our management team?"

The boys all lived in the same building, some of them sharing and some of them living alone since there were various apartment layouts. You recalled that Sungchan lived with Shotaro on the 7th floor of the building, but you had only visited twice before.

You had a thought about declining his offer. Maybe it was moving too fast for you if you moved into his apartment building, but then again, the rest of your friends were there too and it wasn't like you were moving into his room. The thought of having all of them around often and being able to guide you through the city comforted you, so you just gave him an appreciative smile and nodded, "Mhm, that would be nice."

A happy sound escaped his throat and you're certain that moving to Seoul was the best move for you at this stage. Sungchan flipped you around so he was below you and you hovering over him. He brought his hand up to your face, tucking your hair out of your eyes and settling his large palms on your soft cheeks.

He guided your face down and you could feel his breath ghosting over your mouth. Sungchan connected his eyes with yours, "I really, really like you, Y/N. Thank you for giving me a chance."

Stealing his move, you grazed your nose against his, "You tell me that everyday, baby. I really, really like you too. I'm excited for this new season."

It wasn't just a new season of figure skating where you were going to debut new programs. It was a whole new season in your life. It felt like you could finally release yourself from the shackles of the bad moments of your past and start anew- a new country, and a new boyfriend.

He craned his neck up to softly touch your lips together, but he hadn't made any other moves, so you slid your arms around his neck and melted into his chest, parting his lips with yours and deepening the kiss.

You have always loved kissing Sungchan. His kisses seemed to heal every pain and suffering in the world and made you forget even your own name sometimes. He was always a passionate person, tending to your whines and requests whenever you got frustrated and he was teasing you. You don't know how, but since becoming his girlfriend, kissing him felt even better than it did before.

You were so engrossed in each other that you hadn't even heard the footsteps coming up the stairs, or Seunghan's soft calls for you, or his knocking on the door, or the way the door creaked as he opened it.

"Yah!" his scream caused Sungchan to sit up so hard and fast that you fell off of him and onto the floor, "My eyes!"

Sungchan smoothed his clothes out in a panic and yelped in apology as he helped you up from the floor. He scowled at his younger friend, "Do you know how to knock?"

"I did!" Seunghan exclaimed, throwing his hands up, "I even called for you, noona! Ah, I'm so traumatised! How can I get that out of my head?"

Your face must have been as red as the way it flushes when you get drunk as you just watched silently against the bed.

"Hey, what's going on? Hurry up, we wanna eat!" Wonbin appeared behind Seunghan who was still rubbing his eyes, unable to believe what he saw. Wonbin looked at him, confused by his reaction and the yells, "What happened?"

Suddenly, the other 4 boys all came out of nowhere too, crammed in the small hallway and looking between you on the bed, Sungchan closer to the door and Seunghan just on the other side.

"I caught them," Seunghan dramatically screeched, throwing his arms around Wonbin, "I caught them!"

"Caught them doing what?" Shotaro frowned.

"Making out!" Seunghan screamed, to which the rest of the boys started yelling in surprise too, suddenly firing questions at you and Sungchan, who was looking worriedly and apologetically at you.

"I knew it!" Eunseok smirked.

"Oh my God?" Anton gasped quietly and Sohee was mirroring his reaction.

"Are you guys fucking?" Seunghan was still dramatically wailing.

Sungchan scoffed, offended, "No! Well-" he looked at you, giving you the choice to give as much information.

"We're in a relationship," you revealed softly, laughing at their dropped jaws, "Well, only since the trip. We've been getting to know each other since Paris."

"Paris?" Wonbin gawked, "Paris? So when we asked you who you went to Paris with and you said no one, you actually were with Sungchan-hyung?"

"Yeah," you tilted your head and scratched the back of your neck, "Sorry for some white lies we've had to tell. We just wanted to keep it to ourselves for a bit, navigate new territories and make sure it doesn't affect our friendship with you guys."

Shotaro stepped into the room, huddling over to give you a hug, "Well we're all happy for you both. Besides, we were all conspiring to set you two up this trip."

"We were so proud at how well it was working," Sohee cried out, "Turns out we're the fools!"

You think back through the trip at the instances they created to get you alone together, whether it was taking quick trips to the grocery store because they 'forgot' an ingredient, or just leaving you two behind whenever you were walking and relaxing on the beach. You were thankful the boys were so silly to create a plan like that, otherwise you couldn't have spent so much time with your new boyfriend on the healing trip.

"It's okay guys," Sungchan grinned lopsidedly, "It was funny to watch." "Um," Seunghan interrupted, "I actually came up cause I was coming to tell you that dinner was ready."

Eunseok nodded, turning on his heel, "Yeah, I'm really hungry. Can we talk about this over barbecue instead?"

The rest of the boys nodded in agreement, making their way down the stairs. You sighed heavily, looking at Sungchan who placed a loving kiss on your hair, "That was so chaotic. Are we okay, though?"

You smiled up at him and took his hand pulling you up, "More than okay. They were bound to find out and they're all so happy about it."

Sungchan splayed his palm against yours and then locked your fingers together, "Ah, wait til you tell them about moving to Seoul. They'll forget this news instantly!"

You let the grin invade your face as you happily imagined the way they'd cheer and instantly bombard you with outings to do and places to visit together in Seoul. You were definitely certain now that your relationship with Sungchan wasn't going to change your friendship.

"Lovers, come on!" Eunseok yelled up the stairs, "The food is getting cold so stop making out!"

Well, maybe a little bit. But as long as you were able to call Sungchan yours, you were sure you could endure anything.

--------------------------

a/n: thank you for reading:) pls let me know what you think<3

[hongcherry]

tie again || c.sc (m)

"When you show off your skills of tying cherry stems with your tongue, Seungcheol is determined to do the same."

🍒 Pairing: Seungcheol x Reader (afab)

🍒 Rating/Genres/AUs: M(18+); Fluff, smut, humor; Established relationship

🍒 Warnings: Lots of teasing and laughing, very lighthearted tbh aha, Seungcheol's competitive (wbk), oral (f. rec.), names (darling)

🍒 Word Count: 1.2k

🍒 Author's Note: Spontaneously wrote this after tying cherry stems today LOL. Also, I want to start writing without all the worries I usually have when writing, so if you see any errors... No, you didn't 😃 and plz ignore how the coloring doesn't match in the pics, i got too lazy im sorry

seventeen masterlist | main masterlist

“Hey, wanna’ see something?”

Seungcheol glances up from his phone, eyes scanning your body to lock onto what you want to show him. However, the only thing he spots is what seems to be a cherry stem.

“Are you going to make it disappear?” he teases, a corner of his mouth raising in an annoying smirk.

“No,” you huff and sit down next to him on the couch. He makes no attempt to move and instead grabs your legs to drape over his.

“Alright,” he says, “show me.”

You smile and plop the stem in your mouth.

Seungcheol’s gaze drifts down and watches the way your mouth moves slightly as you do something with the stem.

After a couple of seconds, you stick your tongue out—a tied cherry stem resting on it.

Seungcheol raises an eyebrow at you.

“Showing off your tongue skills, darling? You know, you could’ve shown me in another way.”

You take the stem off your tongue, laughing and nudging him. “Sicko!”

He chuckles with you and leans in to give you a quick peck.

“Impressed, though?” you wonder and hold up the tied stem.

He takes it from your fingers to examine it. Once he’s done, he sets it down and holds out his hand.

“Let me try.”

“It’s not that easy, Cheol,” you reply. You know it’ll stir his competitive side and although you truly love him, you’re excited to see him struggle. You tell yourself you’re not being mean—simply helping him learn a skill in the way you know will work. Competition.

Seungcheol grumbles and taps on your legs.

“Fine, fine,” you say as you get up to retrieve another stem. After rinsing and eating the fruit, you present Seungcheol with his challenge.

Seungcheol adjusts you so you’re in the same position as before on the couch, then puts the stem in his mouth.

You suppress your grin as the minutes pass.

His eyebrows become more furrowed the longer he struggles.

“Babe, just tie it,” you tease.

Seungcheol throws you a glare, tongue still moving inside his mouth. After another minute passes, he finally admits defeat.

“You gave me a flawed one!” he whines.

“No, I didn’t,” you giggle—not because it was flawed, but because he’s simply too cute.

“Let me get one this time,” he says and slides from under your legs.

You watch him travel to the kitchen and back before placing the stem in his mouth again. Like earlier, he ends up with an untied cherry stem.

“It’s okay, Cheollie. You can’t be good at everything,” you coo, taking his sulky face in your hands and wiggling it.

The act causes him to whine more, and you can’t help but kiss his puckered lips before leaving him on the couch to watch some YouTube in the bedroom.

The next day, Seungcheol comes home with two bags of cherries.

It takes him twenty minutes to get it after doing some research. Though, he’s not satisfied. You tied the stem in seconds while he tied his in minutes.

So, Seungcheol sits on the couch, a bowl of washed cherries in front of him as he practices. Days pass until he’s finally getting the hang of it. A few seconds is shed off his record time with each stem he uses.

Two weeks later, he’s sitting you down on the couch.

You stay silent as he holds up the stem for a moment before taking it in his mouth. A few seconds later, he shows you a tied cherry stem on his tongue.

“Look at you, babe!” you cheer, clapping your hands enthusiastically. “Good job!”

Seungcheol’s mouth breaks out in a big grin, dimples on full display. It makes your own lips lift.

“Do it again,” you insist giddily and hand him another stem from the bowl he has.

He complies and like before, ties it within seconds.

“You got it!” you exclaim.

Seungcheol just smiles. You know he loves compliments, but he won’t admit to it.

“Now that you’ve accomplished tying a cherry stem, what other skills have you improved on?” you ask suggestively.

He smirks at you, eyes darkening as he considers entertaining your idea.

“I bet you’re dying to know, hm?” he questions with a deep voice.

You smile. “Of course I am. I want to support you and all your talents.”

He chuckles and before you know it, you’re laying down with your shorts and underwear off.

Seungcheol’s tongue is circling your clit while his hands knead the softness of your thighs. After a few jerks of your hips, he descends lower. The tip of his tongue presses your hole teasingly before gliding up between your slicken folds.

“How am I doing, darling?” he asks.

“I-I think you can do better,” you taunt even though your voice is slightly shaky. Seungcheol catches the quiver but entertains your bratty attitude anyway.

“Let me try harder then,” he hums before lowering down again.

This time, he flattens his tongue as he slides it up your slit before quickly kitten-licking your clit. Your hips buck up at his quick pace while you tangle your hands in his hair.

He smiles against you and then uses two fingers to spread your folds so he can tease your hole with his tongue.

You’re whining his name, throwing your head back against the couch cushions, and begging for more.

He adheres to your pleas and slides his tongue inside.

“Feels s-so good, Cheollie,” you praise.

The comment makes his movements go faster.

The familiar feeling in your tummy builds up until you’re coming around his tongue, legs shaking and hips rising from the intensity of your orgasm.

Seungcheol emerges from between your legs, lower face glistening. The sight has your heart racing again. You need to taste him. To feel him fully.

Seungcheol laughs as you pounce on him, though the end of it gets cut off when you kiss him. He wraps an arm around your lower back while his other rests behind him to steady you both.

“How did I do?” he smiles once you pull away.

“You’ve definitely improved,” you commend.

Seungcheol’s smile grows when you kiss him again. “So, did you have an ulterior motive when you showed off your little tongue trick a few weeks ago?”

“No, but it sure had a nice outcome, didn’t it?” you giggle.

Truthfully, you just wanted something you could brag about to Seungcheol. You knew he’d want to learn how and that he couldn’t turn down a challenge. The thought of something more did cross your mind, but it wasn’t your goal. However, you aren’t going to complain that it happened.

“You’re a little sneaky one,” he chuckles. “I’ll have to keep an eye on you.”

“Only one?”

“True. I’ll have to keep both eyes on you, but that won’t be hard to do.”

You tilt your head in questioning. “Oh?”

“Hm,” he confirms. “You’re too stunning not to look at.”

A pause, then, “Simp.”

“Shut up,” he huffs before bringing your face to his, crashing his lips against yours even though you’re laughing, and he can’t kiss you properly. Though for some reason, it just makes him fall in love with you all over again.

A/N: Can anyone tie cherry stems with their tongue? 😋

For my “shy/silent” readers, I’ve created a feedback form where you can share your thoughts on my fics in a more anonymous and private way. ^-^

©️hongcherry // DO NOT REPOST OR MODIFY Please consider reblogging if you liked this work to show your support. Feedback/commentary is always welcomed.

[baileypie-writes]

hii so can you do a velvet x fem!reader where reader is #2 artist on the charts and velvet expects her to be super competitive but really, reader just admires and idolizes velvet and they get together over time. pretty please and thank you :) <3

A/N ~ Sure! Hope you enjoy!

~In Love with my Idol~

Velvet x Fem!Pop Star!Reader

Part 2 here!

Fandom: Trolls 3: Band Together

Relationship: Friends to romantic

Synopsis: Velvet was expecting to meet her rival, but as it turns out, you idolize her.

Warnings: None!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, I finally get to see you in person, huh? You look pretty much the same in your pictures.” Velvet thought as she spotted you from across the clothing store.

You were the second most popular pop star. Your songs were always right under her’s on the charts. Velvet thought you were a pretty good singer, but obviously not as good as herself. Who knew she would see you in such a random place?

“Shoot, she saw me. Is she gonna come over here? Oh god, she is.” Velvet silently panicked a bit. She prepared herself for a less-than-friendly conversation with you. After all, anyone would be rude talking to the person who always beats them.

“Oh my gosh, hey Velvet! It’s me, (name)! Wow, I can’t believe I get to finally meet you! And here, of all places.” You laughed. Velvet was thrown slightly aback by your enthusiastic greeting.

“Oh, uh, hi.” She greeted back, trying to seem cool. Your eyes sparkled in admiration.

“I um… I just wanted to say that you’re such a big inspiration to me!”

What? “A big inspiration”? Where was the passive aggressive comment?

“Oh, really?” Velvet’s ice cold exterior was slowly melting away at your warm aura.

“Yeah! You’re the main reason I got into making music in the first place.” Your face turned a bit red, and your expression became more shy. “Ok, this is kind of embarrassing to ask, but can I get your autograph?”

That was the last thing Velvet expected to come out of your mouth. But nonetheless, she happily obliged.

~~~~

It’s been a few months since your meeting, and your relationship has only gone uphill. The two of you had become very close friends.

Velvet was still a bit shocked at your lack of competitiveness. Whenever her song was, once again, number one on the charts, you’d be the first to congratulate her. And there wasn’t a hint of bitterness. You even occasionally asked her for some advice, and Velvet loves being your mentor.

Velvet often found herself thinking about you at the most random times. And whenever you two locked eyes during concerts, whether it’s hers or yours, she found that she didn’t want to look away.

~~~~

You two were hanging out in the lounge backstage, just about ten minutes before you had to go on. You were visibly nervous. Your hands were shaking as you tried to apply the last of your makeup.

Tired of watching you struggle, Velvet took the mascara from your hands, and applied it for you.

“I’m surprised you still get nervous before concerts.” She teased.

“Oh, it’s not the concert I’m nervous about.” You said.

Velvet raised an eyebrow, and put the mascara down on the vanity. “Then what is it?”

You prepared yourself, taking a deep breath. “Okay.” You whispered to yourself, before speaking directly to her. “Velvet, I think you’re awesome. You’ve been, like, my idol for a long time, and thanks to your advice and support, I believe I’ve truly improved. You mean a lot to me so…” You look another deep breath. “Do you wanna go out with me?”

You avoided eye contact with Velvet, preparing yourself for a possible rejection. But instead, you got a lighthearted chuckle.

“Looks like you finally beat me at something.”

Your heart rejoiced, beating twice as fast as before. You took a step closer to hug her, but your action was interrupted by the door opening.

It was your manager. “(name)! You’re on in two minutes!”

“Oh, ok.” You turned towards Velvet, giving an apologetic smile.

“It’s fine, we can talk later. Go on.” She lightly patted your shoulder.

You nodded, and waved goodbye before exiting the room.

You’d never thought you’d say this, but you couldn’t wait for your concert to be over!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~baileypie-writes

[nayatarot777]

{who’s secretly trying to compete with you?} • pac

spirit told me to do this reading so there must be some shady bitches around my collective. let’s expose them 🙃

• pile one •

cards:

{tarot}

5 of wands

3 of coins

the high priestess

{oracle}

sadness - “allow yourself the space to feel miserable. mourn what has been lost or what cannot be. if you don’t take the time now, your sadness will catch up with you later when you’re least expecting it.”

faith - “loving and then letting go is not only one of the most challenging things we can do, it’s also the bravest. take big deep breaths and know this is right.”

the dragonfly - “be light-hearted, finding out, things coming to light, adapt, change, heal”

heart with a key - “welcoming love, meeting the one, open your heart, getting together, perfect”

since the five of wands came out, this person is definitely competing with you and the high priestess indicates major secrecy on this person’s part. you could’ve gotten into conflict with this person in the past. they do not want you to know what they’re truly thinking and feeling. i’m hearing that they’re afraid of you finding out. this could be someone who you work with - a coworker or someone who does the same type of work or hobby that you do - however, you do this 10x better. they see you as major competition to the point where your progress and your success with whatever this is could be making them so angry and so upset. they’re actually sad that they can’t compete with you because the high priestess is a card about unattainability. they cannot attain your throne. they cannot attain being on the same level as you and they’re mad. big mad. i’m seeing a sickle and this is representative of this person wanting to cut you down. whatever they create or develop, it’s nowhere near as good of a quality as your creations, and I feel like this person could actually be planning or trying to sabotage you. if this is a work situation then i’m hearing that you are highly favoured above them. thanks to your quality of work. i’m also hearing that they’re angry and confused about how you’re even doing what you’re doing. they feel like you know some type of secret knowledge or something that they just don’t know. for some of you, this person could have requested to collaborate with you but you rejected the request for whatever reason. maybe you’re focusing on your own thing or maybe you just didn’t wanna work with this person. it’s almost like you rejecting the request to collaborate or to teach this person some type of valuable skills that they wanted to learn from you has turned you into competition and an enemy - in this person’s mind. if you guys work as tarot readers, astrologers, mystics, witches, or practitioners of any sort, this is another practitioner or another tarot reader, or another mystic. this person - especially if they’re a witch or a mystic - is so upset about some type of negative energy or blockages that they tried to send your way not affecting you. it’s like it doesn’t even affect you at all. they feel weak compared to you.

the “heart with a key” oracle card is just confirming that this person is so sad and upset that they could not collaborate with you because the key phrase “getting together” is sticking out to me. they couldn’t work with you or learn from you and this has them so triggered. the dragonfly card is confirming that this person will be exposed. this will come to light. this could be someone who you feel like you actually get along with, someone who you have basic respect for, or someone who you just feel like you could be cool with. this person is very unhealed and envious. this person could be very easily upset and triggered. they could handle rejection so badly. they don’t know how to handle any sense of rejection or perceived rejection. maybe you guys didn’t even outright reject this person because i’m seeing that for a lot of you, this is someone that you feel like you’re cool with. so if you did reject this person directly, it must’ve been for a good reason. perhaps for a reason completely unrelated to them, but they’re salty. they have some type of weird entitlement to your time and your skill and your energy and what you can teach them - it’s really weird. if this person is a mystic or a psychic in any way, they’re upset that your faith in spirit is clearly stronger than their’s. they could be upset about your manifestations. they’re also upset that you clearly have faith in yourself to even create whatever you’re creating because i’m hearing that the lack of quality in their work is because they don’t even have confidence in what they’re doing. this could be someone who’s trying to copy something that you’re doing but failing miserably. they could be a fake tarot reader, a fake mystic, etc. and because of that, their shit ain’t popping. and you’re at fault for that? crazy🙃😂

advice from spirit is just to take this as light-hearted as you possibly can. when you do find out who this is, do not stress. don’t worry. have faith that you will meet people who will replace this person who are actually rooting for you instead of secretly competing with you. with this “faith” card, i’m hearing that this person is not meant to be around you clearly since they don’t operate by faith. they operate with envy and insecurity so…fuck them 🤷🏾‍♀️

• pile two •

tw: very brief mention of abuse

cards:

{tarot}

7 of swords

10 of cups

temperance

{oracle}

worthwhile - “life is not about being taught a lesson for getting something wrong - it’s about having an experience that adds richness to your life”

sadness - “allow yourself the space to feel miserable. mourn what has been lost or what cannot be. if you don’t take the time now, your sadness will catch up with you later when you’re least expecting it.”

^^*this card also came out in pile one

karmic relationship - fleeting, triggers, turmoil, resentment, lessons, letting go and loving you

ascending - transcending obstacles, learning, expansion, new phase, preparing for union

pile two, this is someone who is salty that you’ve finished learning whatever lessons you needed to with them. they’re salty that you’re moving past challenges (that you’ve probably faced because of them) and now they’re resenting you because you decided to move forward with your life. with the karmic relationship card, I feel like for many of you, this is an ex or an ex dating partner. this definitely could be a friendship too though, because karmic relationships aren’t just romantic. you can have a karmic relationship with anyone in your life tbh, but this is someone who triggered you a lot. there was a lot of pain - maybe even trauma - I heard “abuse” so this could be somebody who abused you. so now that you’ve learned the lessons that you needed to with them, and it seems like you’ve ascended onto the next stage of your life, you’ve gained a lot of peace with this temperance card. and with the seven of swords, this person wants to come and disturb your peace or whatever dream life that you are living. because a lot of you are living a very emotionally fulfilled life. this person cannot let go of you although they hold a lot of resentment towards you. they haven’t learned the lessons that they needed to learn which is why they’re stuck in the same place that you left them in - especially mentally. I also just heard that this person is fake as fuck. they will try to portray themselves as being peaceful with you - supposedly wanting nothing but good things for you, despite the fact that you’re no longer friends or in a relationship or in contact with them as a family member, or whoever this is - when secretly I feel like they’re wanting to bait you with something. or trick you with something. this person pretends to be more mature than they actually are, and that could be the reason why they’re trying to portray themselves as unbothered when they are the complete opposite. they are completely bothered about the fact that they feel like you’ve reached new levels in your life, while they’re stuck in the same place.

i’m also hearing that this person in general just does not learn lessons. this person could be a perpetual victim when things go wrong. they don’t try to think to themselves “okay, how can i improve this situation and what can I learn from it?”. instead they keep themselves in a victim complex. this person could always be sad. they could always be crying. but not actually helping themselves. this is someone who tried to keep you stuck in between a rock and a hard place with them. they could have coerced you or tried to “subtly push” you into something with them. and I’m also hearing that they wanted to steal your dreams. maybe this is an ex-friend or an ex, or someone else in your life from the past who felt like if they stuck around you, they could benefit from your peace. from your emotional abundance. from all of the abundance that you’ve acquired for yourself because you actually listen to spirit. you actually listen to your intuition and you actually learn the lessons that you need to learn. this person doesn’t. you could have seen this person go through a bunch of karmic relationships themselves, and the reason why they’re stuck in karmic cycles is - again - they don’t learn their lessons. this person just gives me very victim complex, lack-of-common-sense energy with this 10 of cups being here. this person could be delusional in many ways, this person could also lie about the way that they feel - going back to the message of them trying to appear more mature than they actually are. so they’re trying to act like they’re not bothered when that’s not the truth.

this could’ve been someone who kept you in a lots of sadness or they were energetically vampiric. they drained your energy and you may feel like you’ve wasted your time with this person. however, spirit would like to tell you that nothing can be a waste of time. you learn from any experience that you can so you guys also need to let yourself feel upset about whatever this person put you through. you may not want to dwell on the past, especially since your life is changing for the better, but you need to let yourself feel. I’m also feeling a lot of anger, so maybe you guys aren’t even feeling sadness at this point. I mean, anger is always a secondary emotion to a primary one. let yourself feel the anger first so that you can reach the sadness and eventually process that too, but just know that you’re on a higher level - a much higher level - than this person. you don’t really need to do anything to protect yourself. I feel like you’re so above them that they can’t even reach you. and i’m feeling like a lot of you don’t even speak to this person anymore, but they’re still bothered by you. still trying to compete with you because they see how you’re making moves in your life while they’re not doing shit with their own. know that you are worthwhile. remember to not spend your energy on someone like this again. this person with the seven of swords could also be a liar and you know that, even if they didn’t admit to their lies. even if you don’t have proof of them lying. you’re intuitive enough to know. the best advice that you’re guides are giving you is just to keep on doing what you’re doing and make sure that you process emotions. do not let them build up. especially negative ones because they will eventually come out in one big explosion if you do. I hope that this helped, pile two.

• pile three •

cards:

{tarot}

8 of wands

the sun

the world

{oracle}

richness - “search further. the deeper you explore this issue, the more truth you will find. it will be well worth the effort.”

discretion - “friendships are fantastic when there is equality in the relationship. maybe it’s time to undertake a quick audit of your friendships to ensure they’re reciprocal.”

the grim reaper - “the relationship is over, no second chances, grow and transform your life”

the butterfly - “relationship evolving to the next phase, healing the inner child, growth”

just to give some personality traits of this person: this person could be someone who is very impulsive. i’m also hearing that they’re very destructive for no logical reason. they could be very egotistical. this person might want to be put up on a pedestal and be revered as an idol of some sort or this person is just constantly wanting to be in the spotlight, in some way. this person could be very self focused, and with the world card, I feel like you’ve completed a cycle with this person. they could be very extroverted (seemingly) and I’m hearing that they have a very strong ego. they’re prideful. this could also be someone who is closing out a cycle in their own personal life. perhaps when it comes to money or career. for a lot of you, this was a friend that did not give you the same energy that you gave them and that definitely supports the selfish energy that i’m picking up from this person. The Grim Reaper is here as well. yeah, this person knows that your connection with them is completely over. they know that there’s no second chances with you. they know that you’re all about growth and changing the things in your life that you don’t like, especially when it comes to friendships, relationships, people that you keep yourself around, so this person knows that you’re not gonna give them a second chance. but with the butterfly card, I’m hearing that they want this connection to evolve. they want to spark it back up but obviously you’re not letting them - whether they’ve asked to come back or not. they know that you would not wanna give them a second chance. i’m also hearing that you shattered their illusion of themself. perhaps they’re just lacking so much self-awareness that they didn’t realise just how selfish they were. and I feel like you were the one to just directly communicate with this person what they were doing and how unfair their behaviour or expectations were. the eight of wands is about very fast, direct communication and considering it’s before the Sun card, I feel like this was communication about their ego. something to do with them being egotistical and only focusing on themselves. i’m hearing that you stood up for yourself for the first time to this person.

this person is very wishy-washy because I’m seeing that they could’ve been the one to end this friendship or this connection because of the fact that you stood up for yourself and put in boundaries and demanded more freedom from this person, but they’re secretly wanting to come back. that could be another reason why this person hasn’t reached out for a lot of you. because they’re the ones who ended this connection or this friendship because their ego was bruised, but clearly you’re the one who was healing this person in some way. and helping them grow. now that you’re gone, they’re stagnant. you could have really questioned this person as well, and they did not like that. you were digging too deep for their liking. you were seeing who they truly were for the first time, and letting it be known. you used your discernment. the reason why they’re competing with you is because if they’ve cut you off from a group of people or certain communities or places, they wanna appear to be better than you to these people/places. and I feel like this is because you’ve seen the mask slip and you see who they actually are as a person. it’s something to do with who they truly are being exposed to people and I feel like, again, if you had mutual friends or mutual connections, it’s like they’re trying to compete with you because they wanna convince people that you’re the problem and not them. and that they’re better than you. because I feel like there are mutual people who still hold you in high regard, so they’re trying to “take your place” when you’re not even around. even though you’re not around them, the mutuals that you have are still favouring you. that bothers them to the fullest extent. this person is also trying to compete with your confidence. you guys are naturally confident people (or at least you’re perceived that way). you guys are naturally direct, blunt people. and this person could be trying to compete with that type of personality trait that you have. but it’s coming across as being big-headed and rude and bitchy. because this is not truly them. clearly they’re someone who doesn’t show people who they truly are so as soon as someone sees beneath the mask they have to put on a front. this person plays a character and they’re trying to gain the love, the recognition, the support, and the admiration that you have from other people because they feel like if they do, they’ll be abundant in someway - just like the way that they perceive you. they’ll be abundant in attention. I’m hearing a lot of people talk about you behind your back, but any mutuals that you have with this person who talk about you behind your back talk about nothing but positive (or most of them do at least) and they don’t like that. I’m hearing that they feel like you’re untouchable in a way and that they want to take your spot. they want to be favoured in the same way that you are. this person might not like you getting any type of attention, recognition or shine. for a lot of you, they’re competing with you by changing their physical appearance, but that just shows me how stupid this person is. because the people favour you because of your personality which they’ve tried to copy (but failed to successfully do) so now they’re thinking “if I just look better than this person, people will like me better”. that shows me everything that I need to know about this person. this person is superficial, they could focus on the most super superficial things. they could be obsessed with their physical appearance while paying no attention to themselves internally which is why they’re so messed up. they’re trying to be “perfect” to outdo you, but it’s never gonna happen.

this person could have tried to blind you to a truth of a situation. but your spirit guides are saying that the more that you think back to the situation, the more you read into the actions of the things that they’ve said, their demeanour when they were confronted by you - just everything - the more truth you will find. this person was never a true friend or a true supporter. they just wanted to take from you. this person could’ve even copied you throughout this friendship or relationship. they don’t understand that the reason why people like you so much is for you, your personality, your mind - not because you pretend to be a fictional character like this person does. I hope that this resonated, pile three. thank you for reading :)

[spidernuggets]

Hey, I've been reading your stuff for a while and I was wondering if I could request number 16 from the quote prompt list. Once again I think this will be great as usual <3

Jason Todd x Reader

Notes: HBOTitans!Jason Todd based while he was still Robin

"Why do you care? You could've just walked away"

You and Jason never got along really well. You hated his guts but at the same time, you didn't.

Ever since you joined the Titans, you and Jason began this extremely competitive rivalry. Who can knock the other one fastest during sparring. Who can come up with a better strategy. Christ, who can get to the bathroom the first in the morning.

You don't really know when this started. You knew Jason had a tendency to judge people before he got to know them. But you wanted to be his friend when you first met.

And you couldn't doubt that Jason was real attractive. Even when he was trying to one up you in everything, you couldn't help but admire how skilled he was.

Sure, you'd somehow show your appreciation to his abilities, but it's been over a year, and he still hates you. So you hate him, too. You don't know why he hates you. You didn't do anything wrong to him when you joined, but sometimes these things happen. And you told yourself not to let it get to you, but he can be so aggravating sometimes, and you hate that you don't truly hate him as much as he may hate you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright, and Jason and Y/N, you two will be paired together to scout the area for the wanted convicts." Dick demands during the current debriefing.

A mishap occurred in Gotham Prison, and a load of felons and criminals escaped, scurrying all over Gotham. Dick gathered a meeting with the other Titans to round up these convicts and return them to the prison.

"Hell no," Jason said. "Pair them with Rachel. I'll go with Gar or- or anyone!"

"Love ya too," you bite back sarcastically, rolling your eyes.

Dick sighs in annoyance. "Listen, the two of you need to get along. These are just a couple of convicts. You'll be fine. You'll improve with your training if you learn how to fight together without fighting each other! We're not switching pairs, and that's that." He says, walking out of the room before Jason could complain again, the other members following suit, leaving you and Jason remaining in the debriefing room.

"Hey. Stay out of my way, or I'll throw you in Gotham Prison with the other convicts," Jason threatens.

You threw your hands up in defence. "Ooh, so scary. Don't clip a wing out there, birdie," you snarl as Jason storms out.

You rolled your eyes. Not even an hour into patrol, and Jason ran off on his own.

"Holy shit," you whisper, looking at the dark, isolated streets below.

A group of criminals dressed in prison uniforms, about 12, were spread across the gloomy streets, drinking booze that the most likely have already stolen.

Suddenly, a fight breaks out. You squinted your eyes and saw a familiar red and green figure, kicking some of their asses.

"For crying out loud, is this guy allergic to a plan or something. One of them could literally pull out a flamethrower from out his ass." You complain to yourself, watching Jason in action.

You can hear his cocky voice in the back of your head tell you that you're overthinking this, followed by some pet name he always gives you.

Impressively, Jason seemed to have it under control. You wanted to either sit back and watch or simpmy walk away. But he's still one guy against twelve. And he's still your teammate.

"For fuck- UGH," you groaned, jumping after him, joining the fight.

"Late to the party, sweetheart," he says, earning a scoff from you.

Most convicts seemed inhumanly buff, others quite lanky, but still able to pack a punch.

Luckily, both you and Jason were well trained and already knocked out almost all of the men.

"I got seven down!" Jason remarks, panting as he punches out another guy. "Might wanna catch up, babe," he yells over to you.

"Would you shut up for 5 minutes, Robin!" You yell back, kicking the ass of another criminal, marking your 4th knockout. "You know, you don't have to be an asshole about everything!" You bark, turning to face him. "You're better than me, okay?! Is that what you wanted to hear? Well, there you go!"

Jason stood a distance from you, speechless. He joked around many times to make you say that he was better than you. But he didn't mean it. He always thought you were better than him. You were barely trained when you first joined, and yet you fought so well. He admitted to himself that you were badass and that he wanted to be as a fast of a learner as you.

You scanned around the area, out of breath after your quick rant. But then you pause. "Eleven," you whisper.

Jason looks up at you. "What?" He asks.

"Eleven. There's- There's eleven here. There were twelve convicts. Where's the last guy??" You say, beginning to panic.

Jason's eyes widen. "Behind you!" He screams. You swiftly turn, and you're met with a tall, very muscular and gruff man, charging towards you. He runs past you, heading towards Jason.

With his keen reflexes, Jason throws one of his Rs, aiming for the leg. It lands perfectly as the man screams in agony, falling over. Jason stabs another R blade into the other leg, proceeding to kick him in the face with his boot, knocking him out completely.

"Shit," Jason sighs, looking around at the scene. Before he was about to link in with the others through the comms, he notices you in the distance just standing there, your back facing him.

"S/n?" He calls out, but you don't reply. He sees your arms move in front of you, and his eyebrow raises in confusion.

Your arms fall limp to your sides, and in one hand, you hold a long, bloody knife.

"S/N!" Jason yells out, running towards you, holding onto you tightly before you could fall to the ground.

Jason stutters out a string of curses, trying to apply pressure to your wound. "You're- You're gonna be okay, Y/n... Okay? I- I already called Dick and the others, they'll be here, just- just stay awake! You can do that, yeah? You're so strong, just stay awake, please!" He begs, his clothes drenching in your blood.

"I.. I can't, Jay," you weakly whisper out, muffled by your painful whimpers. Your eyes started to get heavy, and all the noise began to fade. All you could hear were the other Titans running up to you and Jason's voice yelling at you to stay awake.

You thought you were dead. You felt dead. But your eyes open to a very bright light. You groan, blinking away the burning sensation in your eyes.

"Sweetheart? Shit, okay, you're okay," a voice says in relief.

As your vision unblurs, you can make out Jason's face hovering over yours.

You groan something to him, and he repeats a few confused "what? What did you say?"

"Jesus, take this thing off me," you repeat, referring to the oxygen mask on your face. Jason complies, removing the mask and gently rubbing your face, smoothing out the red dents that the mask left on your skin.

"Shit, how long was I out for?" You ask.

"Two days," Jason replies, sitting in the seat beside your bed.

"My everywhere hurts, and I can't feel anything at the same time," your voice was rasp, and your eyes were tired.

"I could've handled them myself, babe. What were you even thinking?" He said, slightly annoyed but didn't want to stress you in your current state.

"That you were my teammate, and that it was my job to help you," you weakly reply back.

Jason just stares back at you. "Why do you care? You could've just walked away."

You let out a dry laugh. "That was my initial thought. Look, I know you hate me, but at least give me some credit here."

He looks at you dumbfounded. "I don't... I don't hate you.." He admits.

You face slightly scrunches up. "What? I... Then why are you always trying to beat me in everything? I tried- I wanted to be your friend but- but you just..."

"You started it!" He childishly says back. "You kept showing off at how much better you were at fighting than me ever since you got here."

Your face softens. "I just... I just wanted to impress you," you quietly tell him. "I saw you sparring with Gar while you were blindfolded. You were so amazing, and- and I just wanted to be like you," you confessed. "I don't hate you either."

Jason's shoulders slumped. All this time, he thought you were trying to show that you were better than him. But you were trying to impress him? You were admiring him?

He understands the situation if Dick were in his place. Hell, everyone looked up and wanted to be like Dick. Never in his life has someone told him that they wanted to be like him. To be like Jason Todd.

Jason sighs. "I'm sorry, babe." He says, his head hanging low.

You lightly shook your head. "Nah, it's okay. But please, kill it with the pet names."

Jason laughs. "Why? Careful, sweetheart, you might make yourself look like you like like me," he teases, trying to get a reaction out of you.

But you only turn your head away from him, not answering. You thought this was a subtle reaction, but it got Jason raising his brows and leaning forward.

"Do you actually?" He asks genuinely.

You shook your head. "Forget about it. It was just a thing." You try to push away the topic.

He pauses. "Would it just be a thing if I said I felt the same?" He carefully asks.

Your head faces him, eyebrows knit together. "What-"

You're quickly interrupted as Jason stands from his chair, hovering over you and placing his lips against yours, one hand cradling your fave as the other holds him up above you.

You were too tired and weak to raise your hands to his neck, but strong enough to kiss him back, your lips perfectly synchronising with his.

I feel like i made that ending a little rushed, but the scenario was playing on repeat in my head and really wanted to add it in!!!

ALSO, it really makes my day knowing that you've been reading my stuff for a while, Anon!!! Hope u enjoyed your requested fic!!! 🙏🫶

[ccaramel-llow]

Can I request tadc reader where they're very sweet and nonchalant with people even when they're mean to them?

TADC! Cast x reader

Warnings ; Cussing, Bullying, Jax, Not proof read, Obsessive behavior, Death threats, Holding hands before marriage? smh.

Genre ; Fluff + Romance

Pairings ; Queenie/Reader, Kinger/Reader, Kaufmo/reader, Pomni/Reader, Ragatha/Reader, Zooble/Reader, Caine/Reader, Jax/Reader

Queenie

, The competitive x The sweetheart.

, She's overprotective of you and cusses out anyone who's rude to you.

, Beautiful scary guard dog x The kind sweetheart, Literally punches anyone if they made you cry

, She never does it in front of others although, She makes sure your distracted because she doesn't wanna lose you.

, Gets flustered as you boost up her ego if you complimented her when she finished one of caine's bullshitty challenges

, Always gives you a kiss on the forehead and tells you how proud she is of you and how much she loves you after finishing a challenge.

, She likes to hear you rant about stuff you like and nods her head whenever you make a statement

, She adores hugs, Hug her pretty pretty please :3

, Tries to teach you how to defend yourself but fails, And when she does that literally just makes her pull out a resting bitch face.

, She know's when something's up with you. So if your showing any signs of negative behavior, She tries to comfort you by telling you how strong you are.

" You're trying Lovely, But I'm afraid you're also failing. But that's okay, You're perfect to me in all ways possible. Now may i please have a hug from you my dearest? "

Kinger

, He literally glares at anyone who makes fun of you, He feel's bad for your well being and tries to defend you but fails.

, Drags you to his impenetrable fortress just for him to distract you from negative thoughts when your sad, He distracts you by playing with your hair as he asks you what kind of stuff you like while cuddling

, Hold's your hand when Jax bullies you and when Jax is gone he attempts to try and comfort you.

, He doesn't understand why you're so nice. He always thinks you would get mad and start lashing out but you never do. You just reply with a soft, Kind compliment.

, Stares at you with lovey dovey eyes every time you're near him. He compliments you when you're next to him. He fiddles with his hands while looking at you too.

, Shy loser x Over sweet loser

, Death glare's at anyone who attempts to make fun of you until they go off, He's always pissed when someones mean to you and starts ranting on how you dont deserve such bull shitty treatment.

" (Name), You gotta learn how to fend for yourself!- Yeah you're right actually i suck at fending for myself too. BUT STILL!- You need to actually fight for yourself!... I give up never mind lets just go." drags you to his impenetrable fortress

Kaufmo

, Literally says an offensive joke about anyone who bullies you and then it starts a cat fight.

, He asks if your alright all the time after being yelled at, Bullied, Etc.

, Smooches your hand while cuddling in his room to comfort you if you say no.

, He paints you!! He gets flustered when you ask why he drew you. He uses "B-because you're super kind!" As an excuse with a wobbly smile because he knows he sucks shit at lying.

, When he found an exit, He got so excited because he could show you and you'd be so proud of him!! And you were. And you didn't even take it as a joke.

, He loves how you genuinely love his humor, Even if it's dark.

, Definitely doesn't dream about you both getting married.

, Whenever you laugh he starts to get sweaty and nervous, Because your laugh sounds so genuine that it truly makes him happy, It makes him even more in-love with you.

" Wait.... You... Love my humor? R-really? Uhm.... Of course i'll say more jokes!! F-for you!!"

Pomni

, She's so confused. But she finds you so beautiful.

, Why are you so kind? Are you even real? Are you perhaps an angel sent from heaven to guide her?

, She always freaks out around you and blushes a shit ton.

, Glares at anyone who disrespects you and harsh-fully insults them to the point where the bully bawls their eyes out.

, Asks if you're okay after being insulted and holds your hands as she tells you how great and sweet you are if you say you aren't to reassure you that you're an amazing person.

, She likes to bring you with her while she tries to find a way out the circus, You being her all-time favorite person.

, She drop kicks jax and runs away with you if jax tries to bully you.

, She nods at every statement you say, Not really caring about how stupid your idea is but following it anyways because she's so happy that she gets to be near you.

" (Name), (name)!! Would you like to uh.. Uh!-... COMPLete-! this challenge with me?"

Ragatha

, She's just like you! You're just like her!! You two are basically soulmates sent from heaven.

, Though, She gets mad often and you genuinely are a nonchalant person who's usually calm all the time.

, She defends you from jax and glares at anyone who dares to harshly pick on you.

, Drags you away from the toxic person and asks you whats on you're mind today to distract you from negative thoughts.

, Likes to smooch your cheek after you finish a challenge, Ranting about how proud she is of you.

, Ragatha tends to be passive aggressive when people are being rude to you, For example she says a comment that sounds nice but is extremely offensive to the victims ears.

, Likes to take you to her room so she can braid your hair.

Zooble

, This Ambiguous fuck attacks ANYBODY who messes wit you.

, They comfort you by ranting angrily at you by saying how pretty, Handsome, Sweet and cool you are.

, Will try to teach you how to fend for yourself. But then fails.

, They like to receive attention from you, For example compliments, Praise, Or hugs.

, Cheer's you on when you do something not giving a dog's ass about what others think of it.

, Shit talks the person who talked smack about you.

, Get's in trouble daily for you.

, They like to drag you to their room so they can rant about stuff as they slowly get flustered on how you look and listen to them so intently.

, They also get nervous around you, Pretending that you dont exist and usually pretends to cough to cover up a compliment, When you ask what they said they just said they coughed.

, Likes to rant about you while your listening.

" (Name), You let that little- you know what...? Come on sweetie were gonna do some defensive training. "

Jax

, He literally teases you alot.

, Bullies you but he knows when he goes too far so he stops.

, Bullies the person who talked bullshit about you as if he wanted them dead, because he does.

, Will say death threats to the person who bullied you. Not including himself.

. Can And will throw a fight just because someone criticized you.

, Calls you "Sugar" because of how sweet you are. And also calls you his saint for personal reasons.

, he likes to ask you for a lot of stuff, But plot twist, He asks for kisses, Praise, Etc.

"Hey toots, Mind kissing me right here?~"

Caine

, Bitch was confused on why you were so calmed when you first arrived, But soon later developed feelings for you after the first 2 year's you stayed.

, He honestly was surprised you lasted this long but then remembers he shouldn't because Hoo Hah exists.

, Is VERY chatty when your around him. He likes to rant about stuff while you're just there listening to him speak gibberish.

, Glares at anybody who shit talks you and sends them to the cellar with a sheer look of dissapointment.

, SPIN HUGS WHEN YOU FINISH A CHALLENGE AND YOU WERENT FEELING GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF. HE PRAISES YOU SO MUCH. RAHH.

, When your sad he takes you to your room and your both just cuddling while your sleeping and under big fat soft blankets and he plays with your hair.

" How dare you criticize my dearest you li-"

Likes + Reblogs are appreciated.

i spent 2 hours on this bitch smh

[punkpandapatrixk]

❣️Healthy Love ☆ Timeless Tarot Guidance

Elements/Signs in this reading are calibrated to all aenergetic placements. Feel free to read as many Elements/Signs as you feel called to at this point in your spiritual evolution♡

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

I think, in order to know healthy Love, a lot of people need to be exposed to the complete opposite of it first. I dunno; it seems to be a psychopathic Game created by the Higher Beings…for the purpose of teaching us the true value of Love. How can you know fully what Love is if you never know its opposites?

So yeah, if you’re young and inexperienced, it’s perfectly OK not to be so hard on yourself when you make mistakes in matters of Love and infatuation. We’re all learning to overcome each and all of our crazies. Ultimately, what’s really important is that we develop a stronger psychology and make swift decisions to disengage from whatever relationship/situationship/even friendship that makes us unhealthy and miserable♡

You’ve got this!

☆♪°・. aenergetic companion PAC ☆♪°・.

[PAG Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Healthy Love for 🐞Fire Signs – Green Alchemist (Nicolas Flamel)

4 of Cups, 4 of Pentacles, 6 of Cups Rx

When it comes to Fire Signs, loving is a passionate business. There could often be a desire to pursue something until the end just to prove yourself the victor in a competition. In this sense, are we sure we’re actually in it for the Love for that other person? Or is it just about winning and feeling very special because we’re the Chosen One? XD Fire Signs often don’t even realise that they’re in it just for the thrill—just trying to fulfil some fantasy because daily life is often boring.

If your Love ain’t true, you can’t properly give to the other person. That’s not healthy or fair. Careful you’re not blind to the selfishness of desiring a partner only for that person to fulfil a role in a fantasy of your making. If you must love a person, I hope you love from the heart, with a passion for making that person happy. I hope you love sanely and feel free enough to give and receive.

And also remember that in a true love setting, you don’t act as someone’s saviour in a co-dependent manner. We all can be a healing presence for our dearly beloved who’s been hurt in the past, but we’re not responsible for the healing of someone who doesn’t want to live in the present moment or look towards a better future. Love, is a mutually healing connection, whether in romance, friendship, or familyship~

Oracle Guidance for Fire Signs🔻❤️

🐏Aries – Priestess of Ambition

🦁Leo – Priestess of Prosperity

🎠Sagittarius – Priestess of Love

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Healthy Love for 🐍Earth Signs – Silver Magus (Merlin)

2 of Cups Rx, II The High Priestess Rx, Queen of Cups

Ahhh omaigaaa you’re quite intense when it comes to loving, aren’t you? Earth Signs are not worldwide-level recognised for their passion because you guys are such tsundere. But you care a lot when you’ve fallen in love, so much so, you’re willing to sacrifice even your health for those you prize. I hope you don’t go too far with this kind of tendency. Because if giving too much makes you bitter, in the end, you could flip 180 and turn very selfish instead. Extremes are not healthy, baby. You wanna go back to balance and love sanely <3

But you know what’s even more important when it comes to loving? Honest, real, raw communication. To actually put your feelings, thoughts, emotions, as well as intents into words, so that the other person can VIEW you clearly. That’s your problem, isn’t it? You’re so afraid of talking about emotions because vulnerability is cringe, but in reality, you always have so much to tell someone. Vulnerability with the right person is sweet, not cringe XD

After all, someone who’s truly grateful for all that you’ve done for them, for all that you ARE, will view everything about you as lovely. Why not be lovely back to them? Love is lovely LMAO Love isn’t addictions or obsessions. Real healthy love is sometimes silly, cheesy, but most of all, sweet and lovely XD

Oracle Guidance for Earth Signs🔻💚

🐂Taurus – Priestess of Integrity

🧘🏻‍♀️Virgo – Priestess of Luxury

🐐Capricorn – Priestess of Luck

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Healthy Love for ⛲Air Signs – Green Magus (John Dee)

King of Pentacles, 8 of Wands Rx, XIV Temperance Rx

I think it’s a lie when Air Signs say they don’t feel too much or don’t value feelings over logic. If you’re this type of an Air Sign, you’re probably just unaware of how much you feel for someone. I mean, the fact that you can’t stop thinking about the person you like…isn’t that fuelled by a desire to feel something? XD Air Signs are the cutest when you’re in love, but what’s unhealthy about your style is how much you fookin’ LIE. I dunno, do you lie because you want to impress? Do you lie because you’re embarrassed?

What’s tragic about Air Signs is how you struggle with delivering your real honest thoughts about someone when Air is literally the Element of Communication and Networking hahahah Maybe it’s because you often don’t even facilitate your own emotions and thoughts to exchange information. The head and the heart not agreeing with each other because they aren’t sure what’s going on? You know, the left brain and the right brain synchrony? It’s like you have completely separate departments for feelings and hard facts and they don’t even come into contact with each other.

This is actually kinda the reason why you often feel unbalanced when you have fallen in love with someone. You tend to feel pulled in just one direction which feels wrong and uncomfortable. Ultimately, for being an Air Sign, this is part of your character development to balance yourself in the way you perceive romance and relationships, even friendships. Hard facts and objectivity are crucial to maintain a just society, but remember as well that the Human Experience is a subjective experience. When you’ve grown up and spiritually glowed up, your perspectives on things will be super valuable to this often desperately-in-love society~

Oracle Guidance for Air Signs🔻💙

👯Gemini – Priestess of Good Fortune

⚖️Libra – Priestess of Ritual

🏺Aquarius – Priestess of Faith

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Healthy Love for 🐝Water Signs – Green Astronomer (Nicolaus Copernicus)

8 of Swords Rx, Knight of Wands, 4 of Swords Rx

Oh gosh, respect, freedom, just this feeling of actually being free and still safe in the arms of someone you love—isn’t this the ideal for Water Signs? Water Signs are all about feelings and empathy, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have your own identity outside of the relationship you’ve devoted yourself to. And for the most part, and maybe you’re not always honest about this, you don’t like being restricted or suffocated in a relationship. Yup, not even the Scorpios. But you like doing this to the other person, which is a really unhealthy and unfair XD

You don’t own a person. You can’t expect that. You shouldn’t even expect to be owned by your significant other. That’s actually a really big soul lesson for all Water placements. Possessions, obsessions, you think only Earth Signs struggle with these? Water is the opposite of Earth, so~ When Water Signs attempt to own a person, you want to own their soul, heart and mind; whereas Earth Signs want to own and control the person. Passion isn’t possession, OK? If you must share a passion, let it be one of Love and Respect <3

And ultimately, I hope you take very seriously your own spiritual healing so that you know how to be a sane lover. Of all the Elements, Water is actually the most psycho of all lovers LMAO You tend to use your intuitive empathetic ability to trick and manipulate emotionally, that’s why. If you must be addicted to anything at all, well, I hope you become addicted to the feeling of being safe, respected, nurtured and nourished by a someone whose heart reflects back all that’s good in you~

Oracle Guidance for Water Signs🔻💛

🦀Cancer – Priestess of Innocence

🦂Scorpio – Priestess of Healing

🎏Pisces – Priestess of Inspiration

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[notroosterbradshaw]

slow dancing in a burning room - two

word count: 5.3k

warnings: nsfw 18+, language, smut, fluff.

part of: The Boyfriend Experience universe

a/n: thanks to those who read, reblogged and commented on previous chapters. you’re doing god’s work. I know this series is a bit different to what you’re used to from me, so I hope you keep reading. I truly appreciate all the effort you make to show your support x

one.

Your phone started ringing just after you’d showered and your last lesson of the morning session. Wrapped in a towel and shivering, you saw Bradley’s smiling face as the phone vibrated. “Hey,” you answered. “This is an early call, sweetheart, what’s happening?” you asked, hoping the demand didn’t sound as deliberate as it felt. “Everything okay?”

“We’re at the beach, come join us!”

“You’re at the – ” You frowned, checking your watch. No, it wasn’t playing games on you. “It’s the middle of the day, Bradley.”

“I know,” he laughed. “Mav has us down here doing something he’s calling  ‘defensive football’. It’s kinda crazy but… kind of fun,” you could hear him cover the receiver and muffle something back. “Natasha said you have no excuses and to get down here.”

You giggled quietly, heart exploding with his joy. It sounded so good to hear him so positive and happy. “Well, I just showered. Lemme go home and get some stuff, okay?”

“Awesome. Can’t wait to see you, love. Can you wear that…” he paused and whispered. “Can you wear that white swimsuit?”

You laughed, covering your face. “Bradley, no – ” That was strictly for his eyes only.

“C’mon, please? Just for me?” he grovelled. “I wanna show you off.”

Blood flushing through your system as you roasted with embarrassment, how could you say no? “Lemme see what I can find.”

“You’re amazing. I’ll see you soon. I’m getting called back.”

“You’re so fuckin’ whipped, Bradshaw!” you heard someone screech past as you laughed.

“You are so fuckin’ whipped, Bradshaw,” you mocked. But you were allowed to. He was in love with you.

He huffed a laugh. “You’re evil. I love it. See you soon.”

“Okay, see you soon,” you replied, your grin so wide and you so happy for him. You were excited to go see him in his element, having fun with his friends, laughing, joking.

You found yourself at the beach about an hour later, spotting Bradley and his squad thunder across the sand and shoreline, golden brawny shoulders covered in sunburn and sand, running in circles they his team tossed, tackled and laughed jovially. Bradley and Javy looked absolutely ridiculous in their jean shorts (what?!), and a few of the pilots were in full-length jeans. They could only have been so uncomfortable. All were far too competitive for their own good. Your eyes fell on Mav, and gosh… it had been so long. You didn’t want to go over and say hi, knowing how tentative things were with Bradley. 

Moments had to be picked precariously these days.

“Hey,” Penny smiled as you dropped your towel on the sand a while away, not wanting to interrupt them. You wandered up to chat with her, the joy of small business accounting fresh before her, calculator, pen and pad scribbling and furiously making notes. “Haven’t seen you around in a while. Let me guess, too busy playin’ house with Rooster and forgetting the rest of the world?” she teased lightly.

You laughed quietly, toe-thumbing the warm sand but it was hard to argue – you had been spending an inordinate amount of time shutting off the rest of the world together. And while you loved your friends, getting lost with Bradley Bradshaw had forever written all over it. “Something like that,” you admitted.

“Your mom was talking about you guys moving in together! That’s a big step.”

“Yeah,” you said bashfully. “Bradley got the keys to his parent's place so we’re gonna give that a go,” you tried to downplay it.

“The one on the beach? That is just lovely for you both.”

“Still lots to do – I mean, he will be away and I have work but he wants to try and do as much as he can.” The thought of Bradley Bradshaw: handyman had crossed your mind once or twice since you’d decided to move in together.

“That is the sweetest thing,” she teased gently as a football plopped at your feet. “Incoming.”

Placing your foot on the sandy leather, a low growl met you as Bradley’s hands wrapped around it and then surrounded you a moment later. “Hey, Penny,” he said, gently pressing a kiss into your temple. “Here’s my sweet girl.”

“Who’s winning, Rooster?” Penny dared ask.

“Uh, not too sure,” Bradley admitted, his sandy palm sneaking under your white linen shirt and resting on your hip. “We kinda lost count, I think.”

“How many times have you tackled Hangman?” you murmured as he chuckled darkly.

“Definitely lost count,” he said, that hint of arrogance seeping through.

“You two are really so sweet,” Penny said. “I can see why your mom is so excited by this,” she pointed between you as Bradley tenderly kissed your hair and you wrapped your arms around Bradley’s strong waist. You heard his small moan made only for your ears.

“This is really special, you two,” she admitted, as she looked beyond you and nodded towards… Mav.

“So strange to see him back here,” you admitted. “Haven’t seen him since I was a teenager.”

Bradley hummed, you weren’t sure if Penny picked up the clipped shortness in his tone, but you sure did as he whispered he’d be back soon. Remembering Carole’s mantra, ‘if you’ve got nothing nice to say, say nothing at all’, he bit his tongue for Penny’s benefit only.

“We’re not going to talk about the jean shorts?” you called after him.

“They’re jorts!” he retorted, throwing a grin back before dashing back to the game. God, he looked so good, even if he was wearing jorts.

“Oh, that makes it all better…” you muttered to yourself, not sure how the fashion crime still made him look like he’d just walked in PFW as Penny grinned. 

“Oh, girl. He is so in love with you. I have never seen Rooster Bradshaw like this before. Hearts breakin’ all over Miramar today,” Penny teased as you tried to hide your smile, but it was next to impossible as you kept your gaze on him. The way his body moved, his muscles, the gleam of the sun off his tanned skin.

Divine, and all yours. You were mesmerised by him and if everyone could see how in love with you he was, you wondered if you were able to keep it low-key for how you felt for him. You never expected to be so in love, fall for someone like him. He just moved people… but no one knew the way he could move you.

“I’m really happy,” was all you could tell Penny.

“I know, darling heart. I can see that but won’t tell anyone,” she winked. “Go, watch those half-naked aviators show off for a while. I’ll bring some drinks out when they’re done,” she said, collecting her stuff and heading inside the bar and you wandered back to your gear. You carefully took off your shirt and folded it neatly in your beach bag, grabbing your towel and laying it out –

“You’re just pathetic,” Natasha sidled up to Bradley, following his gaze to your form.

“So fuckin’ pathetic,” he agreed as he watched you pedantically flatten out your towel and get to your knees and move to your tummy, eagerly grabbing your book and tossing yourself into it. He didn’t see you read often, he knew that was because probably of him and how he’d imposed in your life these days, but watching you in the sun, completely at ease – Jesus Christ, he was so lucky. Could easily hang his own team out to dry to share his time with you.

You weren’t wearing that swimsuit he quietly pleaded for, but it was fine by him. Your curves, the flashes of skin? You were sexy in his oversized, ratty tees, messy morning hair, and grumpy without your coffee. There was no time you simply weren’t perfect to him… for him.

He chewed his lip, knowing he’d softened in ways he’d never imagined he could. Dropped his walls for the woman who deserved the world and more. He’d changed for the better, and he hoped you would always be proud of him for how he loved you.

Struggling and as hilarious as the bet to wear the jorts was, he felt like he was wearing cement but, in this case, was probably for the best.

“You’re gonna marry her,” Natasha decided, snaking the ball from him in his stupor and dashing off for the other end of the beach, his teammates raising his arms in victorious touchdown fashion. Bradley didn’t even care. 

“Probably,” he agreed, a small smirk quirked at his lip, before adding, “Hopefully.”

Meandering back to your apartment later that evening, Bradley held the bags on one side and your hand in the other, the sun starting to set. He felt good, loose, a few beers in his system, Mav survived another day (even if he’d again fucked Cyclone right off. It wasn’t lost on anyone when the Admiral chased down Mav on the beach in the earlier afternoon) and had to even credit the old man, things between the squad had been tempestuous at best and it had really brought them together.

He'd go to the grave with that.

“You good?” you asked, interrupting his thoughts as he turned to face you, his glasses tangled in his wild, messy curls, a small smile on his face, a dimple threatening to reveal itself.

“Just needed today. I didn’t realise how much,” he confided. “Thanks for coming along.”

“I’m glad you asked, it was fun to see you all unwind even if it was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen,” you replied as he stopped and dragged you back to him. He dropped the bag at his feet and took your cheeks in his rough palms.

“Love you,” he murmured, laying one of those lazy kisses on your lips. You moaned against his mouth as he giggled quietly. It was just one of those kisses that had the ability to render you stupid and he loved that he had that power over you. His strong palms drifted down your sides and wrapped around your waist, bringing you closer again. “Let me take you home. We shower and then I just make you cum and cum with my tongue until you tell me to stop. Wanna taste you all night, love.”

Giggling against his mouth, you pushed him back lightly. God, he could be so filthy sometimes. You’d never know anyone so confident in making the dirtiest of promises and dutifully fulfilling them until you screamed his name over and over. You’d give him anything he ever wanted. “I love you,” you told him honestly and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to love anyone like this again.

You waited for Bradley impatiently the next night. When you finally heard his bag hitting the floor at the entry and the door closing over quietly, you weren’t surprised when he didn’t mutter a hello before hitting the makeshift liquor shelf. You went to him and surrounded him as he still forced the alcohol down his throat, and he kissed you barely.

“I heard,” you told him as he nodded solemnly. “Are you okay?”

“I’m angry,” he admitted, his raspy tone rough.

“I’m sorry, baby. What can I do for you?” you smoothed your palms down his back, the rage within him radiating off his hot skin through his clothes. “Are Bob and Nat okay?” you asked gently, moving your hands to his chest and pressing your hands into the firm muscle, your eyes desperately searching his unreadable face.

The new theme… every time you thought you’d seen him angry? The next night he’d come home worse. And he hated it, because he knew you were on tenterhooks around him, and it killed him that he couldn’t control his emotions after hours, on your time, when he should be his best self, your best selves together. He would try and take out as much tension as he could on pads at the gym before he came home, but his head couldn’t tune out the rage that each day brought with Maverick… even Hangman was at his fucking worst and nothing made sense.

“They need to stay in overnight for observation,” he said softly as you caressed his torso.

“Okay. That’s the best news we could hope for. I’m glad to hear that.”

He sighed, finally meeting your eyes. “I don’t really wanna talk, baby. I’m sorry.”

“Do you want to be alone?” you asked, dreading his answer as he shook his head.

“I know I’m not great to be around at the moment, but please stay with me?”

“If that’s what you need, sweetheart…” you told him and poured yourself a glass, feeling as empty as the glass appeared. He apologised gently. You poured him another glass too and raised yours. “To Iceman.”

“Ice,” Bradley sighed, taking a warming sip this time. You stayed quiet with him for a long while, the loss of Ice compounding what was already a rough day. “I love you, sweet girl. I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you.”

You gave him a light smile. “I’m not going anywhere, Bradley,” you promised him. “Come here, let me hold you,” you told him softly as he put the glass down and breathed long through his nose. He took you in, his dark eyes starting from your bare feet, your legs to the curve of your waist. His palms moved to rest on your hips, his long fingers pressing into the flesh as he rested his forehead against yours. He melted into you, his strong nose pressed against yours and dragging down past your lips and his forehead slipped into the curve of your shoulder. “Love…”

You knew how much he needed you, he need comfort, he needed shelter, but first, he needed to surrender. He had been on his haunches since Mav walked into his seminar last week and he had barely a moment to unwind since. “I love you,” you pressed your hands into the firm muscles of his back, wound so tight, coils ready to explode. He needed to unleash and lose himself and his mind a little bit.

“I want you,” he admitted.

“Just try and relax, baby,” you begged him quietly.

“I know how to do that. Getting lost with you,” he confided, the tone in his voice light, regarding you.

You reached up to run your fingers through his waves and he pulled back lightly, wetting his lips and carefully dipping to meet yours, and you kissed him sympathetically, wanting him to stay slow, stay in the moment. His fingers found the hem of your tee and raised it without questions. “Brad – ”

“Turn around, love. I need to bury myself in you, forget all about today.”

Numbly and as instructed you turned around and Bradley ran his palm over the curve of your ass, giving it a gentle grope before looping his slender fingers under the flimsy tights you wore, revealing a lack of underwear and he sucked in a breath. “Good girl,” he dragged the tights down and helped you step out of them, the tickle of his moustache against your hamstrings unfamiliar and teasing. “Take a step,” he said, nudging your legs apart, his fingers creeping around and sliding into your warm pussy. “Love, were you waiting for me?”

Not really, you wanted to admit and fell back against him as his thumb started to work against your clit. As much as you didn’t want to bandage up the day by making love, it was hard to deny him when he needed you so badly and he could make you feel so good. Maybe he could coax you through this? You’d get in the mood; you always did.

“That’s it, sweet girl,” he murmured into your jaw as you writhed into his hand. He let out a small, rough laugh. “Like that?”

You were trying to and gee, it still felt so good as you clutched the bench top so tightly you begged not to splinter yourself. His skilled fingers pressed into your pussy, warm with slick, warm with what he begged was your desire for him. One finger then two, all the way in… and the way out as you squeaked, all the way in and contorting against your g-spot.

His perfect fingers.

It wasn’t how you saw tonight, but he had a mystical way to make you give in and share the moment with him. “You’re throbbing. Don’t you have dare cum anywhere else but on my cock, you hear me?” his hot breath was at your ear now, his divine tongue tracing from your shoulder to the nape of your neck and be paused momentarily while you heard him open his belt and drop his zip.

Bradley pushed down his jeans and boxer briefs before taking off his tee, discarding it, he gave himself a few guiding pumps, his cock painfully hard and bent his knees a little as he guided his thick cock into your weeping cunt. “Oh, Bradley,” you couldn’t deny him as he pushed in sinfully slowly. Bottoming out, he breathed deeply, kissing your neck, his tongue gliding down its curve as he reached for your slit again.

“Don’t you dare cum until I say so, hear me?” he asserted, his thumb and index fingers pinching your clit. God, you loved when he proved his position in power.

You breathed deeply, gathering that he needed this so badly. Your gentle Bradley Bradshaw needed his release, most nights this week had been the same, with the exception of yesterday… it brought the best night in a few weeks – your man at his best. 

But that hadn’t stopped the strange nagging in the back of your mind. He’d been quiet, reclusive, seeking comfort in fucking to release. There wasn’t a heck of a lot of intimacy, he’d rolled over and gone to sleep most nights, but you couldn’t hold it against him. What he was putting his body through to prepare for this mission was unlike anything you’d ever heard.

From what you’d mentioned to Grandpa, Viper admitted what Bradley and his squadron were being put through was more than he’d ever put his 1% through, and more than he’d heard before.

The thing was you didn’t really feel connected, you kind of felt like a vessel for him and wondered if this was just something because he was clearly going through it, or if this would continue after this assignment ceased? Both left a nagging feeling that maybe you weren’t coping with it as well as you would have hoped for either. “Fuck,” you were so in your own head, you knew you’d lost your orgasm. Shit.

“Yes, love,” he concurred. “Just a bit more for me.”

And as Bradley rutted into you, telling you to cum when you weren’t close to doing so, you held your hand up. “Bradley,” you tried as you felt the sweat of his forehead balance on your shoulder. “Bradley,” you spoke up and his hips slamming into you stopped abruptly.

“What?” he muttered back.

You shook your head, begging him silently to ignore you and just get it over and done with. He started to furiously rub your clit thinking you just need a little extra stimulation, but it only felt uncomfortable. You sighed and just let him finish as he sped up behind you, quads snapping into your hamstrings like pistons as you braced the bench top to keep your balance. You held Bradley make a low growl behind you and you knew he’d come. He kissed the curve of your shoulder, pulling your back to his front tightly as you shrugged him off, lying about how sensitive you felt. 

“Sorry, baby. Just needed that out, you know?” he breathed, leaning his body weight against you and he slipped out of you, his cock weeping against your ass and the proof of your fucking seeping between your legs as he hummed in appreciation. “That looks so good.”

You heard him pulling his jeans back up and turning you to face him, his face soft as he chuckled low, mess dribbling between your legs and he tried to kiss you. He paused when he realised you weren’t returning his advances.

“What’s up?”

You couldn’t articulate how empty you felt and could only look at him.

“You okay? Did I hurt you?” he asked, crestfallen. “Was I too rough?”

“No, it’s fine – ”

“No. It’s clearly not,” he cut in, his calloused hands soft on your jaw as he lifted your eyes to meet his. “Are you sure I wasn’t too rough?”

“You weren’t rough… you just weren’t…”

“I wasn’t what?” he was starting to panic, he never in his worst dreams ever wanted you to be scared or upset or -

“When did it become a thing that you come home wild and just expect me to fuck you out of your piss poor mood?” you said before you could find a way to be more eloquent and articulate yourself a little better.

His jaw dropped as he stammered over words. “I… what?” he asked, lost, confused. It was all etched across his handsome face.

“Since Mav came back, you’ve been a storm in a teacup. Every single night you have come home angrier than the night before and I just feel like the only way I can get you smiling again is if we fuck.”

“I don’t – ” he tried.

“Bradley, I don’t understand in what world you think what just happened was good for me. This isn’t a consent thing, you certainly didn’t hurt me, but Jesus, I’m not just some tool, some vessel you fuck until you feel better about yourself.”

He started to frown and took a step back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t – ”

“I’m supposed to be the woman you love. Not once this week when you’ve gotten home have you asked me how my day was, you’ve gone straight for the booze, drowned yourself in a few scotches and then fucked me before barely saying another word and going to sleep.”

He kept his mouth shut this time and leaned against the corner of the bench, giving you some distance.

“And I know today was terrible. You lost Ice, you almost lost Natasha and Bob. I cannot imagine what you’re going through, but if you think for one second what just happened was just what you needed, wow, we need to really talk.”

“I’m sorry, love. I don’t know what has come over me,” he admitted softly. He felt sick. Never in his wildest had he wanted you to feel anything except his equal. He had never intended to make you feel inferior. All he could hear was the blood pumping in his ears, a disillusionment in himself he’d never felt before. “You’re the only person keeping me afloat at the moment,” he confided quietly but he couldn’t meet your gaze.

“Thing is… I know that. But does that mean I cop all your baggage as well, just for the fucking fun of it?” you raised your voice a little. He still looked stunned. It wasn’t often Bradley found himself dumbstruck, but he’d never known he could hurt anyone the way he had clearly hurt you. He looked at his feet, muffling an apology and something about not coping at the moment.

“No shit,” you told him. “I am breaking my back to bend and cater to your whim, Bradley.”

He looked up, lost, lonely, ashamed. “Love, I’m so sorry. I have just been so – “

“Angry?”

“Yeah,” he said softly. He almost wanted to smile – you got him in one.

“Preoccupied?”

“Well – ” he was surprised there was more.

“Rude, obnoxious?”

“Fuck, am I doing anything right at the moment?” he asked sensitively. He looked so utterly broken, you almost wanted to go to him, but your brain was fried. All you could think of was a hot shower, clean yourself up and go to bed. “Love...” he tried calling after you as you went to the bedroom, slamming the door in your own right. Your neighbours must be so thrilled with you and Bradley’s current door-slamming arrangements.

Not one to take anything laying down, he carefully followed you to the bedroom but already heard the water running, your clothes discarded near the hamper. He couldn’t help himself and picked up your tee, pressing it to his nose and letting your perfume try and centre him before collecting the rest and putting it away to wash.

He leaned against the bathroom door and knocked gently. You didn’t reply so he hoped walking in was okay. What he found wasn’t. You were sitting on the closed toilet, knees dragged to your chest, naked and in tears. “Oh, my God, love. I’m so sorry,” the urgency of the situation hit him rudely.

You were upset, you were devastated because of him. He moved and knelt before you but didn’t know if he should touch you although he was absolutely desperate to hold you, whisper all the endearments you needed to hear to reassure you how much he loved you, needed you, wanted the rest of his life with you. Apologise for being so completely irrational but also, he couldn’t explain how he was feeling – all the thoughts, feelings and emotions that Mav coming back had brought him. And losing Ice, a man who stepped in when Mav betrayed him all those years ago –

He hesitated to grasp your ankle, clueless as to what you needed or what you’d allow him to do. He wanted to wrap you up and remind you that you were everything, but he had never seen you so troubled and worse, because of him. He was distraught that he might have scared you, and made you doubt everything he felt because he was spiralling.

The thing was, he knew he was spiralling. You knew he was… and worst? So did Maverick. He hadn’t mentioned to you the heated words they’d exchanged when Bradley had approached him about pulling his papers. It was years in the making, and the lack of control Bradley had made his head spin. But it felt so good to finally have the question in the air.

Why did Mav stand in his way? And what was Mav’s shitty response? Bradley wasn’t ready. He was never ready for anything in his life. Losing his dad, his mother. How could Pete Mitchell take the one thing he was so certain of and suggest he wasn’t ready? 

“I’m sorry I missed that you weren’t, God, how do I say this? You weren’t into it, that I was being selfish. I know I’ve been hard to take the last few weeks, love,” he said miserably. “I’m not coping, I’m treating you like shit and hurting you. My brain won’t stop – ” he paused when you laced your fingers in his hair and he sat up to look in your eyes. Tears strained your cheeks, breathing uneasy but you pulled him into your arms anyway and Bradley Bradshaw had never felt more loved. He tenderly wrapped his arms around you and whispered, “You’re too good for me. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you.”

“I love you, Bradley. I love you so much and that is why this is scaring me. It’s too good to be true, and Mav comes back… and it’s like I don’t even know you,” you confessed to him, and he finally got it. “I’ve known you my whole life, but I don’t know this part of you. And I need to understand because if this is going to our life… I need to be a part of it. Not compartmentalised and watching you try and handle it yourself.”

“I know,” he said sadly. “I know, baby. I am not doing much well right now.”

“No. And that’s all you needed to say to me. Let me be there for you. Let me be a part of this.”

“I don’t want to drag you into my bullshit – ”

“Bradley, if this were me going through this, you would do everything in your power to fix it. Please… let me try and do the same. The right way.”

Bradley had never felt so adored and loved by someone. He knew his mom loved him unconditionally, but it had been so long that he felt that someone could try and be that person for him again. “I will, love. I don’t wanna lose you, but I just can’t do this on my own.”

You were both silent for a moment before you released him and held his face in your soft palms. Your handsome, broken boy.

“And you’ll never have to,” you gingerly moved to your feet and he did the same, and you kissed him, forcing all the love and adoration you had for him into it. And you could feel him shake against you. “Oh, Bradley,” you said, pulling him to you tightly as he buried his face into your skin. You could feel his stinging tears but he wouldn’t meet your eyes. So, you let him cry. And you cried, but it just affirmed how much you loved him and how much you needed each other.

Kissing your hair, Bradley whispered he would see you at home tonight. You nodded, gently touching his waist, not wanting to show too much affection while his squad, superiors, and friends were gathering to say goodbye to Ice.

You watched Bradley every moment of the procession while holding Grandpa’s hand, protectively from your position. They were eerily similar, stoic in training, eyes forward, strong, emotionless. “I’ll go back to the Kazanskys’ with Grandpa, Grandma and Ma for a little while. Are you able to get away for a bit?” you hoped. He gave a small shake of the head.

“I can’t, sorry, love. I’ll see Mrs K when this is all over and pass along my condolences properly. I don’t think Mav got an exemption either. It’s all too close, with everything pushed up a week and I’ll probably be late.”

You tried to hide the way your shiver could easily be constructed as plain cold fear, but he didn’t admit it if he noticed. “Can you message me when you’re on your way home?” you asked quietly.

“Of course,” he said faintly.

“Be safe, baby,” you told him as he nodded and licked his lips, kissing your temple tenderly. “I have to go. I love you,” he said, whispering purposefully into your skin, not wanting anyone else to know or hear how much those words meant to him. It felt like there wasn’t a sentence that ‘I love you’ was punctuated at the end of the last 48 hours. It reassured you and the last few days had scared you both so dearly as you nodded gently. He stopped to shake Grandpa’s hand on the way past before following his squadron back to base.

“Ready to go, sweetheart?” Grandpa asked, approaching you. He had been speaking with Maverick for a long while.

“Yeah,” you told him gently. You knew Grandpa wasn’t doing well; Ice had been one of his students and as he rose through the ranks, Grandpa had acted as a mentor as such for him. You needed to spend time with him today. He hated outliving his students. Your world was spinning, the men you loved were going through so much and you were trying, dear God how you were trying to be there for them, but you were struggling to keep your head above water too.

You reached for Grandpa’s hand as he gave a wry smile. It had been such a long time since you’d seen him in his dress blues, and the authority he demanded that day made you feel so proud that he still commanded as much respect today as he did all those years ago. As a child, this Navy shit was just a boring way to waste your time. It affected swimming, school, and regular kid shit until you got to your teens and Viper was close to retirement age, well, those years with the handsome officers in their suits… and now, with your own partner. And all the risks you’d taken for granted as a child for the families of officers that didn’t come home and the fear you felt for Bradley, his squad, for you.

You sighed, Jesus, your life was so ingrained in all this. And while you’d always known, it had never felt as precarious as it did at that moment. How quickly it could all end. And poor Ice was so sick… he’d made it as far through as far as it was written in the stars. You could only hope you and Bradley were afforded the same luxury.

masterlist.

A/N: the tag list no longer exists. To keep up to date, give @notroosterbradshaw-library a follow x

[circeyoru]

have you listened to the song "Partner in Crime" by Madilyn Mei? If not, I strongly recommend it because it makes me think of Unwanted Souls!Alastor. Specifically early days of when the reader tries to push him away

This is for {Unwanted Soul} , check MASTERLIST for the work

The one I listened to is Partners in Crime by Set it Off. But I gave this a listen and omg the lyrics are quite in sync with the story!!

Let me go on a song tangant. Stay if you wanna read.

**Heavy spoiler if you haven't caught up with this series!!!!!

You're right; this matches well in the beginning when Reader/you are trying to push Alastor away so you can go back to your little world of self-indulgence. But what happened afterwards is Alastor staying and showing you care and devotion you never had.

Now, if you keep up with everything I posted about {Unwanted Soul}, you'll know that I never planned for this oneshot to end up as a series with this much background and connections for you. So, in Part 1, it was entirely matched with the request and that long to avoid a continuation. But then you saw the results, hahahahaha~

Anyways. Part 1 never mentioned anything of a dilemma of you pushing Alastor away yet wanting him near you, the later parts did. If you piece back everything, you'll see what I mean with this song.

When you're gone I feel alone again The voices cannot hold my hand They keep me company at very best Distract me from my loneliness

Here, this is a reference to when you had that breakdown when Alastor was more than late for that grocery shopping. You hoped it work, but when it did, you just feel so lonely. Everywhere you see in the apartment, especially the living room since that's where Alastor always was. So you retreated into your room, where he barely had permission to enter. With low self-esteem and self-harming thoughts, you conjured a knife and just stabbed yourself to distract yourself from the mental pain.

Maybe I'm just an anomaly Even my demons have their families Truly something must be wrong with me To need you as much as I do

Naturally, this is a reference to your living years. You felt alienated in your life and among the people that surrounds you. Yes, you're stable and successful to the point that you don't have to worry about getting hungry or not having a house to return to. But you felt so empty with what you're doing. You wanted companionship that you can lean on. Then Alastor comes along and you tell yourself it's too good to be true and pushed him away to protect yourself from a heartache.

I was never meant to win I was never meant to win I was never meant to win Shut up!

Sidetracking, this is referring to you quitting your job as an informant for Lucifer. It's some time after you mastered the two powers you had but never used. You think it's too powerful and you're not worthy of it, so you hide it away. Then it went to thinking you're not fit to work for Lucifer, the King of Hell. Worse when you come to see him as a friend instead of your employer and superior being. It was easy to put a stop to it since Lucifer wasn't as persistent with keeping you by his side than Alastor. (haha this explained why I never put Lucifer as a love interest or show competition between him and Alastor)

Here's the reigns Take ahold of me Please don't let me go You do the talking Sew up my mouth if I can't keep it closed

This is where you basically accepted that Alastor was a yandere for you and let it progress. You know how it is with this type of character. You were just too damaged and desperate for something you longed for that you didn't care anymore. It was a good thing that Alastor saw how damaged you are by that self-harm you inflicted on yourself, better now than later when you were more firm with your feelings for him.

There's a dog barking right around the block And a big ol' whistle blow Run for it I'll keep em occupied for you Cause I love you, I love you so Left me hangin at the station But you'll be back for me soon

I'll switch the narrative here. This matches more for Alastor. This talks about the time when you sent him to the hotel to work (and leave you alone). A little interest that shouldn't be explored for or for you to personally be involved with. So Alastor does his best to keep the hotel matters at the hotel, never needing you to leave your home to investigate anything. Alastor knows you moved him out because you were caring too much and you're trying to stop it. He doesn't care, he wants you. But he'll be patient and give you time, he knows you'll be back for him. And boy was the wait worth it when he saw you fight for him.

Something tells me you aren't coming Guess that I'm truly doomed

When Alastor was nearly brought down by Adam and realized that his power wasn't enough (since it was limited by you). That moment, he was fully prepared to just teleport back to your apartment and stay there.

I'm 'bout to die Yet the only thing I find I'm worried about is you I'm 'bout to die Yet the thing on my mind seems to nearly be nothing but you

This is when, moments before your slumber, you told Alastor that you missed him and removed the rule that blocks his connection with you. You know you're not dying, maybe, but there was that slim chance. You also know that wouldn't be what Alastor thinks, and in a way, you reassure him.

I'm just a pawn in your game Not your partner in crime

You used to think that Alastor was using you for something. In fact, you looked for evidence to prove your theory. But the battles he started for you, the demons he killed for you, and the words that made up deovtion and promise to you, it all pointed against that. Isn't it all so weird?

You're slowly killing me And yet I don't mind (You were never meant to win) You're slowly killing me But please take your time

This is where you accepted that you're not gonna be able to push away Alastor anymore. So you take a back seat and let it happen. You were never meant to win against Alastor's love for you, you were never meant to push him out of your life. What Alastor's killing is the doubts and reason you have to push him away, it takes time to heal and for Alsator to find out about your past. So... You want him to take his time.

"Hey, Alastor." You smiled as you waved your hand at him to beckon him over.

"Yes, My Love?" Alastor skipped over, throwing away a demon's limb behind him comically which earned him a burst of carefree laughter from you.

In a swoft move, you pulled him to your level and gave him a butterfly kiss on the lips then stared into his eyes, "I love you, so dearly. Never leave me."

Alastor felt himself melting from your words and the plead he saw as his order to keep you forever. What ever were you thinking to suddenly say this? He won't question since you ended up demanding his attention and presence. So he smiled and nodded, "Of course. I'll never dream of leaving you. I love you too much for that to ever happen, My Beloved."

[offside-the-lines]

matt/barky "reputation"

Woohoo!!! Writing muse fairy is back and they are coming back strong!!! This got long because I don't know brevity. I actually love this. This is set right before the start of Matty's first season (Sep 2022).

~

A few drinks into the evening, Matthew feels himself finally relaxing into warm evening. He supposes, for some, the inescapable heat of south Florida would be suffocating. Not for Matthew, though. It is one of many things he had been looking forward to.

The weather and playing competitive hockey with this group of guys, as he has been parroting.

Sitting across from him, nursing a fancy craft beer, is Barkov— well, Sasha, as he had introduced himself when they met outside the restaurant. He mortifyingly stumbled over his own name because he was too busy trying to remember if Sasha has always been this big.

How did he miss it before? Because, right now, his presence and size is all Matthew can think about. He wants to know how firm Sasha feels under the oversized polo he's—

Shit— He's definitely staring at Barkov's chest again. He swallows heavily, reaches for his beer, thinks better of it, and ends up picking up his glass of water instead. When he looks up, Barkov's gaze is sharp and assessing— something else Matthew's noticed and is categorically ignoring its effects.

The corner of Barkov's lip ticks up slightly before he says, "So, Matthew, tell me. Are you going to be naughty? Or are you going to be a good boy?"

It's a miracle that Matthew doesn't die as he chokes on the water he was gulping down. As he is coughing to save his life— does he even want that because right now he feels like maybe he'd rather just die, actually— he tries to convince himself this is a language barrier issue— yep, that must be it.

"I'm sorry, what?" he splutters.

He thinks Barkov looks amused— which is better than horrified, which is how some of the other patrons are looking at him. The bastard actually waits for him to finish coughing, his eyes never once leaving Matthew. He's not sure if its the coughing or the weight of his gaze or the Florida heat that has sweat prickling on the back of his neck.

Eventually, he says, "You've got a bit of a reputation, you know? I wanna know if you're going to behave yourself in my locker room."

Matthew feels the flush spread, feels his cheeks heat and his heart— No, this is the language barrier.

"Uh, yeah, of course," he says, voice sounding wrecked and hoarse, "Always team first. Whatever you need me to do, I'm your guy. I'm normally more professional than this, I promise." He tries to chuckle, but the sound comes out wrong.

Barkov smirks at him, leaning forward; Matthew suddenly feels caught in his crosshairs.

"And what if I don't want you to be professional?" he leers, licking his lips as he deliberately lets his eyes trail over Matthew.

Oh. Oh. A truly embarrassing sound escapes from Matthew's lips before he can stop it. He still tries to rescue his image, though— he's got game, okay?— he looks up at Sasha through his eyelashes, blinking coyly.

"Why?" he drawls, "Does this voice do it for you, or something?"

Sasha laughs, a warm sound that eases something in Matthew's chest. Bathed in the soft light of the restaurant patio, he looks breathtaking.

Matthew thinks, Yeah, this is going to be good.

~

Send me a player or pairing + a word, and I’ll write a mini fic about it. (I am running on quite a backlog right now so it might take me a while to get to your request). Read other prompt mini fics!

[zzencat]

here for the free mini readings!

🥳, Libra sun, A.D

my question(s) are:

When I do eventually publish (a book), will it have a good outcome?

will I meet my Fs before next year? (I keep getting mixed signals 💀)

what should I be focusing on right now?

thank you so much for your time and energy in advance ❤️ I hope you have a great day/night.

Hello AD!!! Thank you for joining me today! Get ready for a lot of reading bc damn…😳

Q. 1 + 3

Ok so first things first, I’m picking up aggressive energy, frustration towards this book. There’s an air of impatience and dissatisfaction. I’m getting the feeling that it’s less on creativity and more on what the public will enjoy. It sucks bc how the book gets received will bounce back and you may be prone to the negative criticism. “Is it even worth it? What’s the point anymore?” There has to have been inspiration before, but now there’s just a lot of conflict going thru your mind. I don’t think you’re going to publish it anytime soon bc there’s still a lot of dissatisfaction with it, and you’re still very stuck in a period of stagnancy and worrying. Even if you were to release it like “*shrugs* whatever- I’m just glad I got it over with,” you’re still gonna be unsatisfied with it. This could be due to the content of the book being heavily filtered or changed to fit what people would wanna read, instead of writing what you truly want to write about, raw creativity and everything you’d wanted to put in it. You’ll be struggling to find inspiration for a while and this stagnancy could last you well enough until financial issues finally get you in the gut. I have to tell you: put your soul into this project. Welcome your bouts of creativity. Anything can be as inspiration. A part of this huge bubble of stagnation is how competitive people can get in the creative industry, but don’t let that get you down too much either. Don’t worry about time, bc you will align with what you were meant to do if you truly sit down and listen to yourself. Stop worrying about the outcome and just write whatever you want. “Just fucking write.” I felt urged to say that 😂 There also has to be some kind of ego death happening in order for you to finish your book as yourself. Also, if you’re afraid of running out of time for whatever reason, don’t be. If you rush things, they’ll fall and crumble as fast as they were found. Good things take time. I’m urging you to keep that in mind!!

Additionally, if your time is reliant on financial needs, make sure you have something to support yourself on the side to gain extra.

Q. 2 + extra needed advice

Ok so the person who could be a person of love interest is possibly someone from the past (like someone you’d already had a relationship with, someone you knew of, or someone you just knew.) If this is not a returning person, it’s someone that you could’ve known from a past life. Don’t get fooled easily by people who come packed with money btw!

There are too many things atm to figure out, especially internally, before you meet a good future spouse. Otherwise, acting out of desperation and impatience to find the one will bring a worse outcome (especially someone who doesn’t take care of their finances well. Small hint.)

I would HEAVILY advise that if someone is toxic (past or new person) and you know it? Don’t chase after them. Also!!! Avoid possible swindlers or people who try to use/cheat you out of your money. Don’t make yourself vulnerable to these people, and don’t give yourself away so easily. Set boundaries and be more strict with the people around you. Don’t just let anyone in easily.

That’s about it! Thank you for taking the time to send in an ask AD!! Best of luck 😎👍

[nocturnalghoul]

How about a sweet little smth smth with Sunny and Mountain. I am deeply invested in the idea that they're best buds and cannot be left alone together because chaos will descend.

They are such an underrated duo! I love this idea and immediately decided to get silly with it. If the formatting is wonky cause I wrote this at work then oops sorry :)

~~~~

"I dunno Mount, I think we can get it bigger." Sunny mused, looking at the now 7 foot tall pumpkin in front of them. 

They had seen a documentary about giant crop growing competitions the night before while trying to find something to watch and immediately knew they had to give it a go. Between Mountain’s general earth magic, and Sunny’s atmospheric control that came along with her magic, it seemed like the perfect way to waste a Thursday afternoon. 

To be fair, they had been high when they came up with the idea. They were high now as well, but would both argue that the two facts are completely unrelated. 

“I mean we definitely already have to have broken records. Maybe we try another veggie. I can feel this one’s got potential.” Mountain finally replied, holding up a tiny zucchini plant, only as big as his hand. “Oh come on, don’t you wanna see what a big powerful earth ghoul like yourself can manage? You have the best elemental control of anybody I know, Beanstalk. We can totally do better!” She goaded. Mountain let out a deep hearty laugh as he set the plant down and walked back closer to the pumpkin. “Yeah alright, flattery will in fact get you everywhere. Let's see what we can manage.”

With that they got back to work. Now that the two had figured out the right combination of magics thanks to the sacrifice of a few “brave little pumpkins” as Sunny called them, spread behind them, growing the current test subject rapidly was easy. The other failed experiments sat scattered throughout the field in various states of monstrous deformity or overall "explodedness", and the two couldn’t help but feel like they were cheering their pumpkin brethren on. Mountain pumped slow waves of earth magic through the now treetrunk sized vine the pumpkin was growing on, as Sunny altered the heat and sun/weather patterns around it to make the perfect growth conditions. 

After another hour, and a break to go get something to drink, the pumpkin was easily doubled in size. They both sat down on the picnic blanket they had brought with them and just stared up at their creation in awe. 

“Hey, Mount? We didn’t really think about what to do with this thing now that we have it.” Sunny began, letting her voice trail off as if she only now truly realized the reality of making a 14 foot tall pumpkin. “What do ya think is gonna happen to it?”

Mountain hummed in consideration before sat up a little straighter, eyes ablaze with something curious. “Imperator will probably tell us to get rid of it, maybe have some siblings make it into soup or stuff for the next few weeks. I’ve got an idea though.”

Sunny raised her eyebrows and looked at the earth ghoul expectantly.

“When they make us destroy it, do you wanna carve a big face into it with the chainsaw and have you, Dew, and Swiss run around and act like candles inside a giant Jack O’Lantern? We could make a whole pack bonding night out of it. Maybe let you and Dew blow it up at the end?” Mountain attempted to say as evenly as possible but failing, letting a ginormous grin overtake his face.

“I thought you would never ask.”

[umlewis]

undefined

lewis hamilton is interviewed on media day [part 2], miami, florida, u.s. - may 4, 2023 (transcription under the cut)

Interviewer: "As an athlete who is obviously motivated by competition, or constantly pushing yourself to the next level, is there another event, sport... Like sometimes we hear Jimmie Johnson ran the Boston Marathon. Is there something like that, that you would like to do sometime?" Lewis: "In terms of like a marathon, or..." Interviewer: "Or a sporting event. Something else that would push your body to a different extreme." Lewis: "Yeah, I'd love to do an Ironman one day. I wanna climb Mount Everest. What else? I've tried MotoGP. I'd love to get out in a Nascar again. I enjoyed that last time. I'd love to cross over and do some training with... Now I'm part of the Broncos. I'd love to go and train with the squad there. And yeah, I think always tapping into something new. I do muay thai, boxing, for example, or I skydive, I surf. I like just mixing it up. I play squash. I like to do different things, just 'cause otherwise it's boring if you're just in the gym the whole time. And then just having a competition with your friends, in the gym or whether it's doing one of the other sports, I think is always healthy for the mind." Interviewer: "How does it help you stay motivated in your day job?" Lewis: "Doing all these other things?" Interviewer: "Doing the other things. How does it help stay motivated when you're in the car?" Lewis: "I don't really lack motivation in the car, so that's just... I'm super competitive, and yeah, it's in my DNA, so that's not an issue. I think it's being able to detach from... If you don't have these other things and you're just tunnel vision focused on one thing, you just miss so many other great things that are happening in the world, and I think it's so important to try and find a balance between work life, and your social life, and family, and so if you can click that right balance, then you're happier in your job and you're able to excel more, and so I try to arrive at my job less stressed, as hard as that is with everything we all go through, but yeah, I always make sure I take time for me." Interviewer: "So for so many years, you were the one being chased. Now that, in a lot of ways, you're doing the chasing, or the team is doing the chasing, has it impacted your perspective on your years of domination?" Lewis: "Not really. I think I lived in a time where... First two years I was competing, I nearly won the championship in my first year. In 2007 I lost it by one point. I won it by one point in my second year, then I went through a drought of bad cars, poor performances, reliability issues, for almost six years. In that time Red Bull dominated for four of those years, and basically what happens is that if you don't have the car, your perspective shifts a little bit, your focus shifts a little bit, into what you've gotta work on. Then I joined this team and everyone here-everyone in the world, basically-that was commenting on my decision said it was the worst decision I could have ever made, my career's over. But I knew what was right for me, and I truly believed in this team, as I still do today, that they had the right mentality. I think I had the good... Now, it's always good and well to say you had the foresight, but I knew this team was gonna go somewhere and I knew that I could do something with them, and we won eight team-wide titles. We've had two difficult years, and I think it's actually been... You can't always win, and I think it's been really great for us, as a team, to experience this tough time. It's meant we've had to pull together. We've had this struggle. People have had difficult times. We've all lifted each other up, and we arrive here, I think, today... Whilst we've won these championships in the past, I think, through this struggle, we've learned the most."

[syekick-powers]

Okay, Cenryx, Serkhan and Sorin: 2, 3, 4, 8, 18, 19, and 28

very fun that i get to answer these questions for all THREE of them. love 2 compare and contrast ocs ESPECIALLY when they're all different versions of the same person

2. Do they wear perfume/cologne? If so what scents do they prefer?

cenryx: he might use some kind of cologne occasionally for formal events. generally prefers something that's a little bit floral but has some undertones of a more sharp and masculine scent.

serkhan: firmly believes that the only perfume/cologne that suits him is the smell of fresh blood.

sorin: also wears scents occasionally, generally more often than cenryx but not always. generally prefers scents that are kind of herbacious.

3. Do they enjoy cooking?

cenryx: does not necessarily enjoy cooking but has a fairly decent enough grasp of it that he at least doesn't hate it. sees it as a rather mundane necessity

serkhan: about the only kind of cooking he can really enjoy is like, cooking big fucking slabs of meat. generally finds the task of cooking boring.

sorin: absolutely loves cooking and enjoys trying out all sorts of new fun recipes when he gets the chance.

4. Do they enjoy baking?

cenryx: like cooking, he doesn't find it super thrilling. he likes it a bit more than cooking and is slightly better at it, but, again, generally finds making food to be a boring necessity.

serkhan: really bad at baking. tends to ignore important parts of a recipe then wonder why the hell the food came out bad. burns shit horribly and throws a tantrum when he doesn't have Delicious Fresh-Baked Goods to eat as a result. storms off and leaves a mess in the kitchen.

sorin: absolute baking champ. could probably make it pretty damn far in a baking competition. one of his major love languages is baking stuff for people. probably knows enough about how baking works to actually successfully create his own recipes and not get discouraged if he fucks up a few times before stumbling on the right combo of ingredients and prep. you are truly blessed if he bakes you a cake.

8. Do they collect anything? If so what and why?

cenryx: to a lesser extent he collects nice outfits and makeup that he likes. not to like a hoarding extent though. definitely also has a nice sex toy collection

serkhan: has a fairly large collection of weapons that match his aesthetic. doesn't know how to use most of them in a fight but displays them as decoration in his living space

sorin: probably collects houseplants tbh

18. How easy is it to become their enemy?

cenryx: pretty damn easy. he's traumatized enough that he assumes most people are going to be his enemy before he even gets to know them.

serkhan: on one level he considers anyone who goes against ichayi his "enemy", but few people end up pissing him off enough to actually get him to think about them like an enemy who's on equal footing with him.

sorin: fastest way to become his enemy is to hurt someone he cares about. he will give you the benefit of the doubt right up to that point, but once you cross that line... you're not gonna get mr. nice guy anymore.

19. How easy is it to become their friend?

cenryx: lemme tell you if you wanna be his friend you're gonna have to be patient enough to get through 20000 layers of trauma, lying, deflection, and avoidance before you could get even REMOTELY close enough to call yourself his friend

serkhan: doesn't really think he needs friends. is too much of an absolute asshole who enjoys making people uncomfortable to even really try to make friends.

sorin: if you so much as make eye contact with him in a public place he will try to befriend you probably. absolute golden retriever type of person.

28. Are they a #gamer?

cenryx: would play some video games but probably doesn't call himself a gamer. prefers story-heavy single player games. probably a big LOZ fan. has a tendency to avoid games he perceives as "childish"

serkhan: would get so much enjoyment out of griefing people in pvp games. lives to make people tilted. teabags you after killing you. absolutely a twitch streamer but half of his viewer base seems to hate him. they still watch his streams regularly for some inexplicable reason though.

sorin: only plays relaxing life sim type games like animal crossing and stardew valley. definitely also enjoys minecraft but plays only in creative mode and spends an inordinate amount of time building huge structures. also doesn't really consider himself a gamer because he finds too much combat boring and repetitive so heavily favors games that allow for creativity and building and crafting stuff

[frogtanii]

iwaizumi was... overwhelmed, to say the least.

the past few days had been such a whirlwind of change that hajime could barely properly process, much less appropriately react to it all, so he behaved much like a zombie, saying yes when prompted, signing papers when told, and packing up what was his entire life for the past 11 months.

wow. iwaizumi collapsed on his bed as he scanned his now barren bedroom. he’d been here for almost a year and yet, all his belongings were in boxes within a couple of days.

hajime couldn’t keep the disbelieving chuckle from escaping his chest as he leaned back on his bed, dark brown eyes trained on the ceiling.

it felt like he’d spent such a large chunk of his life trapped in this house, under the foot of the woman who he thought he’d marry but in reality, he’d been in little leagues longer than he’d been in love.

iwaizumi scoffed and rolled his eyes. yeah, “in love”. it’d been about a week since his whole life started to unravel and he had hardly seen, let alone spoken to meiko throughout that entire time.

over text, she’d sworn up and down that she loved and cared about him but as she passed by him packing his things a few days ago, she’d barely spared him a second glance.

hajime wasn’t going to lie. it hurt. he’d opened his heart up to her, something he didn’t do easily, and she’d taken his trust and used it to twist him into her weapon.

he always believed he was stronger than this — he’d never forget his mother telling him so when he was younger. he had fallen and scraped his knee yet he refused to cry to keep from upsetting his mom. iwaizumi existed to live up to what his mother thought of him but here he was, completely enveloped in meiko’s shit, doing her dirty work and following her bidding like some mutt.

god, toorū was right. he really was her bitch.

“i could hear you thinking from down the hall, iwa-chan.” speak of the devil...

oikawa stood at his doorway, leaning against the frame with a posture that seemed relaxed at first glance but if you looked a little closer, you’d notice the tenseness in his shoulders and the tightness of his smile.

hajime quickly sat up on his bed before motioning for his old friend to enter. “uh, yeah,” he began, his voice cracking a little from disuse, “i have a lot to think about.”

the light haired brunette let out an understanding hum before wandering into the room, sharp observant eyes darting to look at all the empty walls. “looks like you’re all packed.”

“pretty much,” iwaizumi nodded before the room fell into an awkward silence, the two childhood friends completely avoiding one another’s eyes.

“look, i-“

“iwa-chan, i’m-“

they both paused for a moment before bursting into laughter, the sound carrying into the hall and throughout the house.

hajime wiped a few stray tears from his eyes, shaking his head at their awkwardness. “you first, shittykawa.”

toorū gasped in halfhearted mock offense before quickly sobering up, training iwaizumi with a completely serious look. “i’m sorry and before you go on some bullshit, self sacrificing rant, you’re not the only one to blame for what happened to our friendship.”

he sighed while making his way to iwaizumi’s bed, sitting down gently beside him. “i should’ve known better, okay? i shouldn’t have let my jealousy and insecurities get in between us but i guess i got swept up in the attention, yknow? meiko is actually charming when she wants to be.”

iwaizumi nodded in agreement, knowing all too well how compelling meiko could be. the room fell into a more comfortable silence as both boys escaped into their thoughts, questions about the future of their friendship flitting throughout their minds.

“oh!” oikawa was pulled out of his own head at hajime’s exclamation, his eyes moving to observe his friend dig through his pockets to procure a thick white envelope. “here. i’d like you to give this yn.”

all toorū could do was nod, his brain short circuiting at the sight of iwaizumi’s apparent kindness to the woman he tormented for so long. “uh, what’s in it?” he ventured to ask, his soft hands toying with the sealed envelope flap.

a soft chuckle came from across the bed. “don’t be so nosy toorū, just give it to her, yeah?” oikawa rolled his eyes but obliged, the bed creaking as he stood to his feet.

“so... this is it, huh?” it was like the reality of the situation was just now sinking in — they hadn’t been close in a while but iwaizumi was still his best friend and he wasn’t quite ready to let him go.

they’d been through so much together, practically growing up together and now, they’d only see each other on holidays, if even then, and then he’d never be invited to hajime’s wedding as his best man as they’d planned and he also wouldn’t be the coolest uncle/godfather of iwa’s children and—

“fuck no,” hajime scoffed with a bright grin on his face. “thought you were gonna annoy me til the end of time shittykawa. don’t tell me you’re quitting your job now.”

the hidden meaning behind iwaizumi’s words brought tears to oikawa’s eyes and before he could stop himself, he launched his body into iwa’s arms. hajime hesitated, his hands stuttering at toorū’s sides as though he’d forgotten how to hug but the feeling passed, his arms winding around his friend’s lithe waist.

“‘m gonna miss you hajime,” oikawa’s voice came out as a broken whimper, his arms tightening around his shoulders.

iwaizumi hummed instead of responding, too afraid of his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. they stood there for a moment but the honk of the moving truck outside signaled the both of them of their limited time.

hurriedly, oikawa wiped the tears off his cheeks before waving awkwardly at iwaizumi as he left the room with a friendly, “don’t be a stranger.”

and then he was gone.

toorū finally allowed himself to collapse into sobs on his best friends empty bed, his palms pressing into his eyes as he sat there and just let himself feel.

apparently, he wasn’t crying very quietly because it took only a few moments for you to find him, your soft footsteps alerting him to your presence. oikawa scrambled to wipe away what he knew was an unattractive mixture of tears and snot as you got closer.

you were one of the last people he wanted to see him like this.

“hey,” you whispered, standing a few feet away from him. “um, i know this is probably a bad time but i just wanted to thank you for apologizing? back at the awards show?”

toorū sniffed as he looked up at you with confusion written on his face. “what? you shouldn’t thank me for apologizing. ‘s common courtesy.”

you laughed softly, nodding in agreement. “well, not always. so, thank you.” finished with your piece and not too keen on lingering where you weren’t wanted, you moved towards the door but were swiftly stopped before you got there.

“um, here. it’s from iwa-chan.” you gaped at the thick envelope oikawa was handing you before taking it and opening it, a low curse falling from your lips.

inside the package was a dense wad of cash, more money than you’d seen in months. accompanied with it was a letter, written in beautifully loopy handwriting.

you shut it quickly before oikawa could see, stuffing the envelope deep within your pocket where you could access it alone in the depths of your room.

“do you wanna come eat? last i heard, bokuto and tsumu were doing a cooking competition and i’m sure it’ll be fun to watch.” you were severely thrown off by the money and letter but you were determined to show toorū that you’d accepted his apology and were on your way to making amends.

he gave you a shy nod and trailed behind you to the kitchen, the loud sounds of fire and screaming coming from down the hall. you wanted to focus on the fun and merriment but the envelope was practically burning a hole in your pocket.

later that night, you finally got the chance to open the letter and read it, your former manager’s words bringing tears to your eyes.

dear yn,

i’m probably the last person you expected to hear from. you probably didn’t want to hear from me at all if i’m being honest and i don’t blame you. i know there is nothing i can say that could make up for what i’ve done to you but i’d like to try.

i’m sorry. those words don’t nearly express in and of themselves how truly remorseful i am but they needed to be said. there’s no excuse for how i treated you — not meiko, not my stress, absolutely nothing.

you deserved my common decency and respect and i didn’t give that to you. instead, i abused my position and made your life hell. i’ll never forgive myself for that.

uh, i bet you’re wondering what the money is? i promise i’m not trying to pay you off, it’s just all the money i’ve denied you since you moved here. i have a lot of wrongs to right and this is one of them.

sorry, i’m not very good with words but i just wanted you to know that i’m very sorry for everything that i’ve done. and i’m in no place to make demands or anything but i just wanted to ask if you’d keep an eye on oikawa for me.

he’s strong but he’s also vulnerable. he might be a pain in my ass but he’s my best friend and since i can’t keep him from drowning, i was wondering if you’d do that - not for me but for him.

anyways, this letter is shit but i suppose you get the gist. use the money for whatever you want and if you’re as unselfish as i’ve heard, you don’t owe me anything. you don’t owe me money, kindness, or forgiveness.

take care of yourself,

iwaizumi hajime

℗ poker face

so... this is it

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - soooo m back :D hopefully this is the last of my mini hiatuses!! this chapter sucked to write but i’m not mad at how it turned out?? pls let me know how i did skjdkd don’t forget to feed me <3333

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @syndellwins • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saikishairclip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

[hansensgirl]

Sab!!! Happy FFF! Here’s a spicy thought for you: being a bit new in a relationship with Chris and him discovering you have a daddy kink and then using it to his advantage any chance he gets 😮‍💨

HI AMALIA BB!! happy fff!!

this thought is too good for me to not write a small concept!!

warnings: daddy kink, ddlg elements?, age gap, praise kink, smut, chain sucking, fluff, newsweek cevans. 18+ MINORS DNI!

You never said anything of the sort; you swear it. But you can’t put your lying words on your childhood stuffed animal’s life.

Chris’s cock remains inside you, and you’re beneath him with a crazy heart and sweating face. “No, no. I heard it,” Chris intones, and his chain dangles above you. You just had it in your mouth, and now it’s shining with spit. “You didn’t hear anything, Chris! I think all those days in France are really getting to you!” you ramble, and you can remember when he called you to gush about Disneyland.

“No, baby. You said, and I quote, ‘Oh, yes, Daddy!’” He imitates you in an almost mocking manner, copying your breathy words and the high-pitched tone you have when you’re coming down from your high and nearing a new one. You turn your face away from embarrassment, worried that Chris will break up with you right there on the spot.

He’s too sweet to do that, but your overthinking gets the best of you. It might not be that brutal on him, but it’ll be painful on you. You’re head over heels for this Godlike man.

“Baby, look at me,” he demands, and you begrudgingly listen to him. “Daddy loves it when you call him that,” he suddenly asks, and you can feel yourself clenching down on his cock. “Fuck, wait-” you start, but he shuts you up with a searing hot kiss. Chris begins to thrust into you again, and he pulls away from your lips.

“Say it again, please. I love it.”

You believe he’s left your Daddy kink as a sex-only thing. How naive. He hasn’t dropped it at all. Like a bad habit, Chris has involved your Daddy kink in almost everything. And truly, you cannot complain. Neither can he. He once Googled (late at night with his hard cock in his hand) a question left for him and the private browser to see.

Is it possible to have a kink for someone’s kink?

“Baby? Can I use your phone? Mine just died, and I need to open this email. I think I’m already logged in on your phone,” the older man saunters. “Of course!” you smile, and you hand him your phone. You’d do almost anything for him; you’ve got it bad. Little do you know, though, is that he’s the exact same.

Chris already knows your password. You’ve told it to him before, and you haven’t changed it since. He doesn’t open up the internet browser you use. No, not at all. Instead, he heads straight to your phone app and searches for his contact. His name on your phone goes from ‘My Chris 💞’ to ‘My Daddy 💙.’

Later that day, he rings your phone because he swears his calls aren’t going through (he hasn’t put his words on anyone’s life). When you see his contact name and the wicked wink he gives you afterwards, you’re dropping your phone and getting on your knees to give him something that’ll take his breath away.

Chris ups the ante, ever the competitive man. He has a knack for control, and he loves the effect he has on you. Maybe it’s because he’s from Boston, and the air is just different (it is, especially during fall). He uses it so much more when talking, and yes, also during sex.

“Do you think Daddy should fuck your pussy again? Or should that smart mouth of yours have a taste of my cock?”

“C’mere. Daddy wants to tell you how much he loves you.”

“Daddy’s bored, baby. Let’s go for a walk with Dodge!”

It’s the small things. The way he’s got this low tone whenever he says it and how he looks you dead in the eyes, too. Chris uses your kink as a strategy to get what he wants, and so do you.

“C’mon, Daddy… Don’t you wanna fuck my little pussy and fill me up with your cum?”

“Daddy! Say ‘ahh,’ I need you to try this. Doesn’t it taste like those cookies you bought me at that bakery?”

“I love you, Daddy.”

One day, you steal his phone. You love to turn the tables on your unassuming boyfriend. You don’t use an excuse, and you just get the job done. Your contact name goes from ‘My Baby 💙’ to ‘Daddy’s Baby 💙.’ You decide to call Chris when he believes his phone has been lost (it’s right on his desk).

When he sees the name that comes up, he chases you down and takes you in so many different ways that you wonder why you thought it’d be a good idea to deny your fantasies.

(Let’s be honest, Chris has the same line of thinking as well).