#there were goblin hordes involved too

[ibrithir-was-here]

You know how sometimes you wake up from sleep with some random phrase from the dream still in your head? Well this is the one that was in mine, to be sung to the tune of the chorus of "It's Raining Men", but with a little extra lead in to it:

🎶Bababababa Baba Yaga! Say your prayers boy its Ba-ba Ya-ga, biyah! 🎶

(The "biyah" part meant nothing in the dream it was just a little trill at the end like "hi-yah" I hope it doesnt mean anything untword in any other language 😅)

[trixcuomo]

Daily Writing Challenge, Day 3: Romance/Compromised

Another lovely talk show interview, this time with a slew of my Night Elf rogue OCs. And some fun re-caps of hilarious stuff I wrote.

Trixany: *after the Goblin pop theme music dies down* Helloooo and welcome back to DMD! Daily Mail Dalaran is an Azeroth celebrity gossip show where, if you survive the scandal, you're bound to have a good time. And I mean it. Our last episode was a little, uh fiery.

Recorded audience: *staticky laugh track*

Trixany: The stage set and all these red couches are brand new, since the uh *she itches her nose* incident. We haven't re-done the audience section yet. Some of the seats are still smoldering. *she taps her earpiece*

Oh yes, of course. I've just been asked by our producer to find a way to tastefully segue into a moment of silence for the audience members who were lost in the dragon attack from our last episode. *she stares at the camera, then goes 'oops' and bows her head.*

Man. That was so... moving. And um, silent. Now, on with the show! As an exciting change of pace, we are going to focus on something saucy today. Romance and getting so-called compromised is today's theme--haha! So, of course, I reached into my deepest bag of Horde B celebrity tricks yet and brought you... *drumroll sound effect* the entire cast of the acclaimed The Romancers fanfiction series on fanfiction.net! You guys know how I love to break the fourth wall. Alessandre, Wisthera, Opalbane, Faltheriel and the rest, get on out here!!

The Romancers: *a big group of well-dressed, waving Night Elves, two of whom look related with pale blue skin and similar white braided hairstyles, and one blonde Blood Elf in black warlock gear walk onto the stage. An intense, yet playful soap opera themesong plays involving saxaphones*

Recorded audience: *more fake applause and wolf whistles*

Trixany: Yes!! The Romancers! I'm so excited to get you all here at once. Your fic could have been called The Romancers and the Compromised, right? I mean, the mix of spy versus spy and love affairs in that story were the real deal. And I mean that's what daytime drama is all about, getting lost in another world, reading about your favorite video game when you're supposed to be working.

Alessandre: Haha, yes! *touches his black leather saber fang choker* We're all rogues, I guess. The Romancers and the Compromised... that would have been perfect.

Trixany: *fangirl squeal* You're actually here, that sexbomb Alessandre! And how does it feel, everybody? To finally get a cool interview about your years of hard work. And some crazy, steamy scenes, am I right?

The Romancers: *all clap and cheer, share hugs*

Trixany: Damn all the Night Elves here, and you too Faltheriel, are all so beautifully attractive. Hi Faltheriel! You and I actually go way back, you got me this interview.

Faltheriel: *says something sexy in demonic, in his very tempting voice* Vakka tu raxka, melin omderu prushika.

Trixany: Okay, that was hot, and creepy? How do you even do that??

Faltheriel: *the blonde Blood Elf man winks, with eyes done in heavy dark liner and eyeshadow* I won't go into certain details about my life with the Legion. All those stories were based on our real lives, you know.

Trixany: Oh? I suspected, but... really? Honestly, a lot of that was true? Wait, let's start from the beginning before I get carried away. What were your favorite, juiciest scenes from season one, the very first fic. Wisthera, Onyxbane and Priestess Feathershine, I think that was mainly you three, right?

Wisthera: Ho man, well Onyx here was the star. But I guess I'd better re-cap for those folks out there. Mind if I tell it? So, Onyx here was in love with me and a Human mage, Willypearl--she couldn't make it today.

Feathershine: She's moved on--

Onyxbane: Oh, she hates us.

Trixany: Oh? Drama already, it seems!

Wisthera: Yeah, that's the thing. Girlfriend lost her man to moi, a wiley rogue. But the twist was, ontop of all that... Onyxbane had some seriously confused feelings about his own adoptive foster mother.

Trixany: I remember that scene, when everything was kinda tip toeing around that, then he finally came out and said it. Oh my gods--

Onyxbane: Im an excellent uh, actor. So thankfully I was able to pull it off. Yeah, acting that out, that weird confession alone in the mirror was sorta gross but, like at the same time, I was lauging inside, hard. I was thinking like 'this guy is so fucked' haha! 'No matter what happens now, whoever he ends up with, Willy or Wisthera, he is so fucked.' Because it was so ridiculous, right? I mean who actually goes and does that? It was obviously just a setup, a way for me, Onyx, to get slapped in the face after all he put everyone through. His sister Opal was arrested in Stormwind, then they got dragged to Menethil Harbor and had to suffer through his sloppy not wanting to forgive Wisthera who already got arrested, kinda because of him and his family? Then they trek to Silithus and face death multiple times, and he is still flirting with all these women in their group and unable to choose any of them. That 'I'm in love with an older woman who kind of raised me too' mirror scene was just to have people laugh real good at Onyx's bad, bad mistakes.

Trixany: *waggles eyebrows* So, what happened?

Feathershine: What do you mean? I yelled at him and threw him out of my cabin on the ship after he made his pathetic love confession, of course! The writer was cheeky, but that was the point-- Onyx was obviously not going to have an affair with a priestess of Elune, a woman who saw herself as a mother figure to him. I mean matronly women are beautiful too, we deserve love. Priestesses of Elune other than glamorous Tyrande do fall in love and find love, to be sure. But in this case, it was a fantasy within Onyx's own silly himbo mind. Certainly not!

But it was so hard to keep a straight face all through Onyx trying to confess he actually saw me as a milf. And how did we go from the tragedy in Felwood to me being a priestess of Elune and a milf, I don't know.

The Romancers: *all blurt laughter*

Feathershine: It was so, soooo awful! Once an innocent teenage crush that went wrong, I guess. But that boy grew into a pervert, and I could have killed him. I guess that's why I finally snapped and threatened to in season three--or was it four? Something like that.

Trixany: Alright, so we got Feathershine and Onyx's favorite scenes I think. Wisthera, what was your favorite scene from the first fic? Give us something romantic and compromising, okay?

Wisthera: *holds Onyx's hand and leans back, laughing* Ho goddess! Um... I would say the cave scene, yes.

Alessandre: Oh, the cave scene! Yeah!! Haha--Wisthera stepped on this scorpid and then after... well, it was so good. I mean, I hated her and I couldn't have written a better scene for her. The vain, sexy Night Elf woman rogue who had it coming. But, then again, it's also how Wisthera and Onyx finally got together.

Recorded audience: Awww.

Trixany: I have an idea! And it is seriously the best idea. Clips up on the big screen there are one thing, but we have you all here, live! Let's act it out right here. Let's do a scene!

Onyxbane: *raises his white eyebrows* Oh?

Trixany: Yes!! Guys, get on the floor, right now. Let's see how the most romantic, hottest part of the uh, The Romancers series went down. No shame, no judgment. Just go for it, live!

Wisthera: *blushes, stands up from her seat, then thinks carefully and stands on one leg, balancing* Okay, so Onyx? Let's say the stinging scorpid was here and I just stepped on it. Maybe you come in from this side and carry me off in your arms to the cave?

The Romancers: *awkward silence*

Feathershine: *simmering rage as she looks down at Onyx who is kneeling nearby, and has placed his hand on her leg.*

Onyxbane: So... We're not doing this scene? You said we were doing the hottest scene. *turns red* Trixany, you said no judgment!

Feathershine: GET YOUR HAND OFF MY LEG RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN!

Wisthera: Onyx! We're married now, or so I thought. What the fel is wrong with you?

Onyxbane: I got confused, or excited--excited to do the scene, I mean!!

Opalbane: *in her spooky, impassive shadowpriestess drawl* This just in, my brother Onyx is still a pervert. This time for real.

Feathershine: Onyx, I thought we got through this phase. I raised you, you freak! I'm your mother!

Onyxbane: No, I already had a mother. She died back in Felwood when I was a teenage boy and grown. But then this hot older priestess of Elune shows up, named Feathershine, and she tries to raise us--

Feathershine: Right! I adopted you, I'm your foster mother!!

Onyxbane: *hobbles over to Trixany while still on his knees, dodging blows from his female relatives* She's a milf. Why can't this woman accept she's a real-life milf? She's way too hot for her own good. That's how all this really got started--OW!

The Romancers: *all watch Onyx get smacked with couch pillows, then larger furniture, then get chased around the DMD studio.*

Wisthera: Pervert!!! You wanna get compromised? I got two poisoned daggers with your name on them, Onyx!

Trixany: Well, folks. *raises a red couch pillow as a shield* I can only apologize. This episode of DMD got waaay out of control...

Feathershine: Hooligan! I knew all along it wasn't acting because, you hack, you can't act ontop of everything else that's wrong with you!! *runs around and smites Onyx several times with her holy spells*

Trixany: What can I even say? *she laughs, watching the chaos unfold* Tune in next time for more of 'When keepin' your fanfic real goes wrong', here on DMD!

@daily-writing-challenge

[warcraft-lore-archives]

Shadows Rising Lore Facts

Character Histories

Saurfang’s late wife’s name was Remda [pg. 79].

The name of Thrall’s young daughter is Rehze [pg. 130].

Flynn Fairwind won a boat known as The Prowse in a dice game and renamed it to The Bold Arva after one of his old first mates who died tragically in a harpooning accident [pg. 112, 118].

Flynn also once had a parrot named Bong-bong, although he lost the pet in a card game to a goblin known as Krazzet the Bishop [pg. 120].

Flynn’s mother, Lyra Fairwind, was a thief. When he was but a child, she was caught and hanged [pg. 156-157]. Before Shaw, Flynn had never told anyone about his mother [pg. 166].

Mathias Shaw’s grandmother, Pathonia Shaw – infamously known as the “Silver Cutpurse” –, was also a thief. She was caught three times and eventually given the ultimatum of either joining the Stormwind Guard or hanging for her crimes. Valuing her life, Pathonia agreed to work for the crown. She would eventually pass her trade skills down to her daughter – Shaw’s mother – and Shaw after her when his mother died [pg. 205-206]. Pathonia was known to wear an inordinate number of rings, although for some reason, she bore only a tied red string on her right ring finger [pg. 206].  

Shaw likes to spend his free time whittling bird statues [pg. 204].

Shaw once had a small private cabin in the Arathi Highlands [pg. 204].

The Zandalari

Noble houses with connections to the crown’s former spymistress, Yazma, were punished for their ties to the traitorous priestess. That said, families who could prove that they had not been involved in Yazma’s schemes were absolved of any wrongdoing [pg. 63].

Apari, the leader of the rebellious Widow’s Bite organization, is Yazma’s daughter. She was once one of Talanji’s closest childhood friends and was held to be more desirable than the princess herself [pg. 99, 189]. Despite her familial ties, Apari sided with Talanji when news of Yazma’s treason came to light, only to regret her decision when the princess inadvertently left her trapped under a pillar that had fallen on her during the Battle of Dazar’alor [pg. 191, 227]. The injury she sustained from the pillar wounded her grievously, preventing her from bearing children [pg. 188].

Neither Talanji nor Apari ever wanted to have children [pg. 189].

Loa draw their power from worship [pg. 145, Quest: House of the King]. Destroying the shrines and idols of a loa can weaken them severely [pg. 145].

Because of the bond her father made with Bwonsamdi, as the loa weakens, so too does Talanji [pg. 145].

Although the Necropolis may appear somewhat small on the surface, many tunnels run below the great mausoleum [pg. 150].

New Zandalari mothers traditionally bring their infants to the Great Seal to sit among the waters there, which are said to be formed from Rezan’s own tears and capable of blessing one with health and longevity [pg. 188].

The prison in Dazar’alor is made of gold, much like the rest of the city [pg. 202].

While many of the details surrounding blood magic are still vague, Apari and her followers were able to power and command a magical storm using the blood of a lone Zandalari troll they ritually sacrificed as fuel [pg. 100, 190].

Miscellaneous Lore

The Void naturally seeks out and reveals deception in others [pg. 87].

With the power of the Void at her disposal, Alleria can sift through another person’s memories and thoughts, although the process proves to be quite painful for the person having their memories plumbed [pg. 92-93].

The Old Gods are said to be able to use the smallest thought to drive any person mad. They can also wrench any information they want from anyone, no matter how willing the subject [pg. 92].

Shaw despises sailing [pg. 113].

When the armistice was signed between the Horde and the Alliance, the Alliance ceded control of their encampments on Zandalar and abandoned them [pg. 161].

The Proudmoores have a gallery in their keep that hosts a grand collection of maps, charts, sea-faring gizmos, nautical artifacts, and even oil paintings depicting members of the Proudmoore family and beloved friends, including King Anduin Wrynn [pg. 168].

The Pandaren from Wu-Song Village have a saying – “the oldest ginger is the most pungent” [pg. 177].

Thrall can understand Thalassian [pg. 172, 183].

Shaw knows some Zandali but is not fluent in it [pg. 203].

It takes approximately four days to sail from Zandalar to Stormwind on a Zandalari vessel [pg. 264-265].

Although all souls now head directly for the Maw, Bwonsamdi has the power to seize and save the spirits of his followers, which he did with King Rastakhan [pg. 217, 259, 279-280].

[belliesandburps]

Suggestion: Maybe something with the Prefect feeding Idia while he’s in the middle of an intense gaming session? That, or something involving Idia getting comfortably stuffed and pampered, because the poor muffin deserves it.

“C’mon, team!  We didn’t push our way through two hours worth of Fire Goblins just to give up now!  The boss is just one dungeon away!”  Idia growled through clenched fangs into his gaming headset as he intensely mashed his keyboard repeatedly to have his warrior slash through a horde of skeleton monsters.  There were about twelve players in total on-screen all hacking and slashing their way through the same swarm of monsters.  Humorously, Idia’s avatar was a large, bare-chested paladin with fiery blue hair, pale skin and more muscles than a bodybuilder.

Someone was definitely compensating for something, but you elected not to tease Idia when he was so in the zone.  Gaming was one of the only instances the sweet but terribly anxious young man ever seemed really energized, but sometimes, Idia was TOO in the zone, judging by how intensely his stomach growled.  He winced with discomfort, but just gritted his fangs and kept on powering through the battle.  You told him he really should eat something, as he and his guild had been at it for hours, but, without even taking his eyes off the screen, he shook his head and said, “Later.  If we defeat this boss, we’ll all unlock the Blade of a Thousand Centuries, which we can use to defeat the boss monster of Mount Terragorn during the Blood Rain event next week.”

...

......Yeah, that was all gibberish to the rest of us too...

Well, either way, you simply watched as Idia plowed through what seemed like an endless horde of monsters.  They kept on attacking, but Idia was too quick on the button mashing, dodge-rolling and summoning temporary forcefields to protect himself from incoming projectiles.  There was so damn much happening on screen at once that you couldn’t personally keep up with it...then again, there was a reason the only games you were ever good at tended to involve little speedy blue hedgehogs and rings.

But as Idia’s poor tummy growled in protest, you could see the look of strain on Idia’s face as he tried his damnedest to ignore his hunger pangs to slash through the monsters and make his way to the dreaded boss of the level with his guild.  During an especially loud rumble from his middle, Idia squinted with discomfort, providing one monster the window needed to land a hit on his character.  Idia snarled angrily and slashed the demon to ribbons, cursing to himself for giving the enemy an opening like that...

That was the cruel thing about online gaming that millions of parents would never understand...there is no pause button when playing online...

So, you decided to help your zoned-in boyfriend while he was going at it.  You spent some time in the kitchen, leaving Idia to fend off the last bit of the demon underlings.  By the time you arrived, Idia and his guild had finally breached the walls, and made it to the main chamber of the dungeon, where upon they were greeted by the sight of a giant smoky figure with a black, draconian skull for a head, purple flames in its eyes, a beefy, oil-drenched body spewing smoke, and a massive axe.  The demon bellowed with laughter, vowing to cleave any fools who would dare to venture into his domain. 

Idia scoffed into his mic and said, “The only cleaving he’ll be doing is prying our swords out of his smoky butt!”  You snickered to yourself.  Idia was a surprisingly good trashtalker...but, something about him trash-talking the AI was funny to you.  The pre-boss fight cutscene was still taking place, showing all of Idia’s guildmates and his own avatar draw their weapons, vowing to end Lord Volgamyr’s reign of terror to a close. 

You used that non-interactive period as an opportunity to sit down next to Idia, who sniffed the air and, for the briefest of moments, turned to see you had warmed up an entire pizza.  His eyes widened at the sight.  You explained that he really should eat, especially since you guessed this was going to be a long boss fight.  But before Idia could protest, you suggested actually feeding him as he played.  That way, he could stay in the zone and help his guild take “smoky butt” down and his rumbling tummy wouldn’t keep distracting him when playing.

Idia’s brow furrowed for a moment in thought, then, with a grin, he said, “...Th-that would be great actually, thank you!”

You grinned, as the battle finally began.  The demon lord let out a deafening roar and caked the screen in thick smoke.  You took the first slice and held it up to Idia’s mouth, which was wide open, baring his many, pearly white fangs which he used to take a big, hefty CHOMP out of the pizza slice, chewing vigorously as he and his team summoned beams to pierce the smoke from the boss’ attack.  Never taking his eyes off the screen, Idia chewed vigorously for but a few seconds.  Even with such a hefty mouthful of pizza, Idia’s fangs were sharp enough to make very quick work of the stuff.  He swallowed hard, causing a sizable lump to protrude from his slender, pale throat and vanish behind his collarbone before he opened his mouth to receive more pizza.  With a smirk, you pushed a considerable amount into his mouth for him to bite into, leaving only the crust, which he promptly snatched up shortly after swallowing the rest of the pizza.

Idia chewed rigorously, letting his fangs do all the work then squinted his eyes as best he could without closing them and leaving himself open to attack as he gulped he crust down.  A golf-ball-sized bulge pushed down his throat in the process as you heard it audibly squelch from where you were sitting, that combined with the cute little huff Idia let out when he worked that first slice down made your cheeks heat up slightly.  Idia was so in the zone, that he was already opening up for his next slice without delay.  The poor boy was a lot hungrier than he may have realized, but mercifully, there you were to satisfy his poor, empty tummy. 

The fiery-haired lad just narrowly dodge-rolled away from a massive sweeping attack that some of his other guildmates couldn’t avoid.  Fortunately, Idia was fast to summon a healing spell that burnt through a sizable chunk of his mana to replenish some health for his wounded allies.  “Omph, c’mon, guys, we-munch-nomph, have to be on our...*GLLLUUUUUULLK*  guuuh...our A-game!“ Idia mumbled in between bites of his pizza before eventually swallowing down his current mouthful and opening up for more, which you promptly delivered on, slipping more cheesy, pepperoni goodness into his maw.

Idia was completely in the zone.  His stomach grumbled almost pleasantly in response to finally being fed as you continued to feed the young fiery-haired man cheesy goodness galore.  Without ever taking his eyes off of the screen or losing focus on his control patterns, Idia took in one hefty bite after the other, vigorously slamming his fingertips onto his keyboard while his fangs broke down each cheesy, hefty mouthful before swallowing it all down.  In between his calls for support from his teammates, they could all pick up on the sound of him sloppily and rigorously chewing away over mic, but when it came to Idia and how laser focused he could get on his games, that wasn’t something his teammates weren’t well used to at this point.

All the while, as you kept on feeding your hardcore gamer boyfriend, you took notice of how that normally flat stomach of his was now pressing out considerably with a pleasingly rounded shape to it.  Idia’s belly had bloated out by a little over a foot from the sheer quantity of pizza slices he had taken in.  At no point in his gaming did he note getting full, and you just kept on feeding him slice after slice, so you didn’t really catch on until now.  Feeling your face heat up, you just kept on feeding him while Idia and his guildmates continued fighting the boss.

...All this time later...good lord, they really did design these games to be a grind and a half, didn’t they...

Idia was too focused to notice how utterly heavy his belly was starting to feel, but he did appear visibly groggy as he gamed on.  “Urrf...oh man,” Idia grumbled before a look of discomfort took hold.  His face tightened as he played, causing his head to sink into his neck slightly before lurching forward and letting loose with a deep burp.  “Hur-BOOOOUUUUURRRRUUUUPH!!!  Guh...whew...sorry, guys, just ate some pizza and I...ooooOOOOOoooorrrruuuuh-HUUUUUUUUPH!!!  Oh man...” 

One of his teammates complained that Idia was being too noisy and gross while a few others started laughing and rating his burps. 

Your face heated up at the gaseous rumblings from your boyfriend as you instinctively slipped your hands under his hoodie and shirt, then started caressing his bloated, burbling belly with both hands.  Idia’s own pale cheeks darkened at this sensation.  He couldn’t help but groan a little as he played, prompting one of his teammates to ask what in the name of Hades was happening on Idia’s side of things. 

Idia took a moment to mute himself as he moaned with delight at the feeling of your fingers kneading into the sides of his soft, rounded middle.  Your thumbs pressed into the rounded mass of flesh, forming little circles while the rest of your fingers grasped the middle of his belly, gripping the bloat itself in a soothing compression; pressing your fingertips into the center of Idia’s belly and slowly tracing them down to the sides.  His stomach burbled pleasantly in response to the treatment while Idia practically melted in his seat.  

In between you kneading and caressing his belly, Idia took a moment to grab some Mountain Doom, unscrewing the cap with one hand while the other firmly stayed on his keyboard to keep on fighting. Then, he brought the full bottle to his lips and started chugging, all while never taking his eyes off of the game.  You heard and saw his throat ripple as it throbbed heavily, taking in gulp after gulp of the fizzy beverage.  His Adam’s Apple bobbed in and out rapidly as he glugged that carbonated drink down like he hadn’t had a drop in ages, sucking down a good portion of it in record time.  With your hands on his bloated stomach, you could actually feel the soda filling him up, and feel the stomach bubbling intensely in response to the influx of carbonation.

He set the bottle down, gasping breathlessly as he did so, and literally a second later, you felt a DEEP churning erupt from Idia’s belly, which prompted a gurgling in his gullet that steadily rose up his throat until...

“BRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAARRRUUUUUUUHHH-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAPH!!!!!!!!”

A HUGE belch exploded past Idia’s blue lips, exploding throughout the entirety of his dorm for a good six seconds straight and never once letting up in its sher volume.  You could actually feel the gas evacuating from his gut as it erupted, prompting you to instinctively press into Idia’s belly to force more of the pressure out.  By the time that monster had ended, Idia gasped breathlessly, before you slapped his belly and prompted another throaty, carbonation-fueled belch to erupt from his mouth immediately after.

“HUUUUUURRRRROOOOORRRRUUUUUULLLPH!!!!!!”

This one wasn’t as long or as loud as that last beast the young gamer unleashed, but you’d personally rate it a ten anyway...

When it ended, Idia gasped breathlessly and had a blissfully relieved look on his face as he mumbled, “...Haaah...hah...excuse me...phew...” before unmuting himself.  All the while, he and his team were still chipping away at the Demon Lord while you were rubbing away at Idia’s round, burbling tummy.  It took some doing, but at long last, Idia and the others finally slayed the monster.  The Demon Lord roared with agony before he slumped over, cursing the players, which Idia interrupted with a MASSIVE burp he was still holding in after all that soda.

“Sorry, guys, lotta pizza and soda, y’know?” Idia mumbled, feeling another burp rumbling up his throat (thanks to you kneading into his belly at that moment).  this time, he brought a fist to his mouth and stifled the big, rumbling belch in his closed mouth, causing it to rumble deeply into his mic again before he puffed breathlessly and let out a cute little afterburp.

Eventually, with the boss slain, Idia and his guild were all rewarded with the “Blade of a Thousand Centuries.”  It was actually kind of adorable seeing Idia’s eyes light up at the prized possession he and his online friends had worked so hard to unlock.  For how intensely Idia gamed, it was nice that he actually still seemed to get some joy out of it.

His guildmates all asked if the team was up for taking down the next boss now that they had what they needed.  But as you continued caressing Idia’s belly, the blue-flame-haired boy groaned pleasurably and muttered, “Y’know what, guys?  I think I’m gonna pass for now.  How about we finish the next quest tomorrow, same time?”  After signing off, Idia slumped back in his seat, groaning happily while you pulled his hoodie up and continued running your hands all across his rounded tum. 

Your palm rubbed slow, soothingly small circles into the center of his belly, using your thumb to knead right around his bellybutton, which made him quiver with sensual delight. 

Idia had conquered the smoke demon, now, it was your turn to conquer his bloated, pizza and soda-filled belly. 

And sufficed to say, you were winning too...

...

......

.........Okay, one day, you were going to have to admit that Idia’s nerdiness was starting to rub off on you.  But today, you were just gonna focus on that nerd’s belly and not think about that...

...But the instant you use the word “pwned”...you were seeing Sam about some potions...

[vintagerpg]

As much as I consider myself a 2E D&D person, I tend to turn my nose up at later 2E products, particularly those with the black “generic campaign setting” borders. There is good reason for this – as the 90s progressed, TSR increasingly published a lot of crap and that didn’t really abate when Wizards of the Coast took over (looking at you, Diablo sourcebooks). However, this snobbery has resulted in me missing a number of diamonds in the rough. Reverse Dungeon (2000) is one of them.

Videogames were increasingly on the minds of RPG makers who saw them as cutting into their market (theater of the mind is always going to be wobbly up against particle effects, I guess). I already mentioned the Diablo sourcebooks. Reverse Dungeon shares a whole lot of DNA with Dungeon Keeper. Unlike the Diablo books, though, this one doesn’t suck.

Instead of playing adventurers, the players take the role of monsters defending their dungeon from intruders. There are three phases of this. The first involves a goblin settlement dealing with a number of raids from a nearby village. If the PC goblins are successful, increasingly powerful adventurers come calling and will eventually penetrate to the vault level, where players will then take the roles of the menagerie of abominations collected by an evil mage. These include some classics, like a beholder and mind flayer, some unusual ones, like a mimic and some straight awesome new ones, like a badass anti-paladin. Beyond the vault level is the mage himself – now a lich – and his undead horde, and a few more surprises for players.

I love the role reversal, especially since it doesn’t ask much more of the monsters than is required of them when they’re the enemies in a traditional dungeon. That’s all this needed to be great, and that’s all it is.

A lot of the appeal is comic artist Dennis Cramer’s illustrations. Love the clean ink work, love that mirror mimic, love that anti-paladin. The cover features an early Wayne Reynolds, too, which is a novelty!

[365days365movies]

March 1, 2021: The Hobbit (1977) (Part 1)

In a hole in the ground, there lived a Hobbit.

When I was 9, my school let us read a very special book, originally meant for kids, but beloved by everyone. My folks and I went to Borders Books (FUCK ME, I miss Borders), and we got an illustrated copy of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit. I can’t find that book, but if I ever find it again, Imma buy it IMMEDIATELY, I tell you what. And...oh shit, it’s on Amazon for $12? 

Well. I just made that purchase, I guess. But yeah, I loved that book when I was a kid, and this was during the same year that Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy began, with Fellowship, of course. And I wouldn’t end up watching those until a few years later, but I loved those too when I saw them. And I’ve NEVER seen the abridged version, by the way, I’ve only ever seen the extended editions.

Although, I can’t call myself a hardcore fan. I’ve never read the Silmarillion, for example. Although, weirdly, I wanted it as a kid at some point, so I was almost there. But no, I ended up getting into comic books hardcore instead, so I can’t tell you the history of Tom Bombadil, but I can tell you about at least one of the fuckin’ 87 tieles that the Legion of Super-Heroes has been involved in. I’m not gonna like it though.

...Yes, I will, who am I kidding, I love the Legion. Anyway, I’ve still always been a fan of the franchise, and I was extremely excited when Jackson announced that he’d be doing an adaptation of The Hobbit! Seriously, I WAS FUCKING PUMPED, you have no idea. I re-read the book, I was super-excited...and then Harry Potter changed EVERYTHING. Kind of.

See, Harry Potter’s development as a two films made from one book seemed to kick off a trend. Breaking Dawn and Mockingjay are the two that immediately come to mind, as does this film. However, to be fair...that’s probably a coincidence. Yeah, this film was originally developed as two parts, WAY before Deathly Hallows got that treatment. And even then, Jackson and Del Toro had difficulty breaking it up into two parts, and three ended up being easier. Still...the change from two-to-three does feel a little connected to that trend.

Anyway, in celebration of that decision, I’m gonna break this review into three parts! Yes. Really. I want to see if it works. And so, let’s talk about the other most famous adaptation of this book by talking about its creators.

Yup. Rankin-Bass did 2D-animated cartoons, too! And this was one of their most famous ones, dating back to 1977. But wait! There’s more! This was followed by Ralph Bakshi’s version of Lord of the Rings by a different studio. You know, this one?

Yeah, that one. It was only based on the first two books, Fellowship and Towers. But it was technically unconnected to the Rankin-Bass version. Which is why it was REALLY weird when Rankin-Bass came out with an adaptation of the third book, Return of the King, right afterwards!

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE. Because both of Rankin-Bass’ specials were animated by a Japanese studio called Topcraft, who’d actually worked with Rankin-Bass for years. But then, they went bankrupt a few years later, and was bought by Isao Takahata, Toshio Suzuki, and...Hayao Miyazaki. And it was renamed as...

So, this is a Hobbit adaptation produced by the Rudolph people and animated by the people who would eventually become Studio Ghibli. Well, uh...holy fucking shit. Let’s DO THIS BABY. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/3)

As we’re wont to do in this story, we head to Hobbiton in the Shire, where we meet Bilbo Baggins (Orson Bean). A simple Hobbit in a simple home, with a happy and simple life. But one day, he’s approached by Gandalf (John Huston), who seeks a burglar to help with the mission of a group of dwarves, led by Thorin Oakenshield (Hans Conried).

We also immediately start off with two songs from the original book, and I have to say that I like them a but better in the Jackson movies, but they’re still well performed here. Anyway, after dinner, the true goal of their quest is given. Beneath Lonely Mountain, the ancestral home of the Dwarves, there was a kingdom ruled by the King Under the Mountain, Thorin’s grandfather.

Through reading the lyrics of the song “Far over the Misty Mountains,” Thorin tells the tale of the takeover of the Dwarves’ great golden hoard by the dragon Smaug. Bilbo is tasked to help the Dwarves steal back the treasure stolen from them. And, while he’s extremely reluctant to be a part of all this, Gandalf basically forces him to, the pushy bastard. And Bilbo’s Greatest Adventure now lies ahead!

Speaking of, here’s the song “The Greatest Adventure”, sung by Glenn Yarborough, who is the living personification of vibrato. Fuckin’ seriously, this guy’s voice is ridiculous, but I love it so much. As the night passes underneath Glenn Yarborough’s hypnotically shaky voice, and uncertain, Bilbo stares out at the moon. Once it’s over, we’re on our way to the Misty Mountains.

Bilbo’s having a tough time with the long journey and rough weather, and it doesn’t get much better when they encounter a trio of trolls. They send out Bilbo to try and steal some mutton from them, but he’s IMMEDIATELY a failure, and also manages to tell the trolls that the dwarves are present. Nice one, Bilbo. The trolls catch all of the dwarves, although Bilbo manages to escape. 

The trolls argue about how to cook the dwarves, but before they get to do anything, Gandalf shows up and summons the dawn, turning the trolls into stone and saving the dwarves. While they’re initially quite frustrated by Bilbo’s failure, he makes it up by discovering a horde of goods and weapons stolen by the trolls. This is also where Bilbo gets his classic weapon, Sting.

Gandalf, cheeky bastard that he is, suddenly reveals a map that he’s kept secret from Thorin, its rightful owner. Bilbo, a classic cartomaniac, is able to interpret the map. But there are also runes that they can’t quite read. And so, Gandalf brings them to his friend, Elrond (), who’s wearing a sick-ass glittery tiara that’s hovering off his head. How come Hugo Weaving didn’t have that?

Anyway, Elrond identifies the swords that Thorin and Gandalf grabbed as Orcrist, the Goblin-Cleaver and Glamdring, the Foe-Hammer, because FUCK YEAH, BABY, those are some fuckin’ NAMES! WHOOOOOO!

Anyway, he also points them in the direction of the mountain, and shows them hidden features to the map. They head through the mountains after this, and rest in a cave. Unfortunately, this cave is on Goblin territory, and the group (sans Gandalf, who’s disappeared to make out with Cate Blanchett or whatever) is quickly ambushed by a group of now-horned Goblins, who chant their song as they go “Down, Down, to Goblin-Town”. Which is a song that I love, unironically. It compels me to sing along.

The Goblins nearly kill them when they discover Orcrist in Thorin’s possession, but they’re saved by the sudden appearance of Gandalf with the glowing sword Glamdring. He kills the Great Goblin, and the group run out with the Goblins in hot pursuit. Well, except for Bilbo.

Yeah, Bilbo falls into a cavern below the mountain, and the dwarves think him gone for good. However, he’s miraculously safe on the ground, having landed in an underground aquifer, in which lives THE GREATEST CHARACTER IN THE MIDDLE-EARTH FRANCHISE FUCKIN’ AT ME I DARE YOU

And just so we’re clear, I’m not talking about the film version only, I’m talking about Gollum/Smeagol in general. Granted, I don’t want a film starring him or anything (coughCruellacoughcoughMaleficentcoughcoughClaricecoughcough), but I love this dissociative little dude so much. He’s one of my favorite fantasy characters in general, and is also maybe the best example of a sympathetic villain, in film at least.

OK, to be fair, I love Andy Serkis’ version of the character a LOT, like a LOT a lot, and it’s a great version of the character. OK, so what do I think of this version? He’s...interesting, actually. If I’m honest, I kinda like him. This is similar to how I always pictured Gollum when I was a kid.

I mean, listen to this description from the book, yeah?

Deep down here by the dark water lived old Gollum, a small slimy creature. I don't know where he came from, nor who or what he was. He was Gollum - as dark as darkness, except for two big round pale eyes in his thin face...He was looking out of his pale lamp-like eyes for blind fish, which he grabbed with his long fingers as quick as thinking.

I dunno, that does sound more like this version of Gollum to me, just saying. Anyway, while Gollum is off fishing in the water, Bilbo gets up on the shore, where he finds a little golden ring Not important, just a ring, definitely means nothing at all, NOTHING AT ALL, NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

The hungry Gollum (Brother Theodore) happens upon Bilbo, precious, wonders if Bilbo would taste good, and is basically about to kill him for his sweet hobbit meat, before Bilbo takes out Sting. Now afraid, Gollum offers a game of riddles. The two make a deal: if Bilbo wins at a game of riddles, Gollum will show him the  way out. But if Gollum wins, precious will eat him raaaaaaaw and wrrrrrrrrrriggling!

The riddles commence, in a super-fuckin’-classic moment, and also ends with maybe the most bullshit moment in all of fantasy lore. After clever riddles with answers involving eggs, wind, and time, Bilbo’s last riddle is “What’s in my pocket?” The fuck, Bilbo, that’s absolute BULLSHIT!

Not that it matters. Bilbo wins, but Gollum goes to find his ring to show it to Bilbo before he takes him away. Thing is, though, that’s what was in Bilbo’s pocket, which Gollum quickly figures out, my precious. He’s about to kill Bilbo to get back his birthday present, precious, but Bilbo discovers the secret trick of the ring: it turns the wearer invisible, AND THAT WILL NEVER BE A BAD THING EVER.

Gollum thinks that Bilbo’s escaped and runs after him toward the exit. This, of course, leads Bilbo towards the exit inadvertently, and he follows Gollum, then jumps over him to get back. To which Gollum screams the following:

Thief! Thief! Baggins! We hates it! Hates it! Forever!

I hear you, buddy. I hear you. Well, once Bilbo escapes, he reconvenes with the rest, and shares his adventure in the cave, but leaves out the ring. And Gandalf seems to know, based on his dialogue. And I checked, and he figured it out in the book and Jackson movie, too. And I gotta say...WHAT THE FUCK GANDALF

I mean...DUDE. CHECK UP on that shit. Do you wizard job, man! If you’d been like, “Dude...you didn’t find a magic ring that turns you invisible, ight, because we’re FUCKED if you did”, NONE OF THE LORD OF THE RINGS WOULD’VE HAPPENED, AND BOROMIR WOULD STILL BE ALIVE

Everybody talks about the fuckin’ eagles, but WHY DO I NEVER HEAR ANYONE MENTION THIS SHIT? Gandalf the Grey: Middle-Earth’s most irresponsible asshole, I swear...

This seems like a good place to pause, actually. See you in the next part!

[secret-engima]

(1/2) I just had a random thought whilst trying to run away from the massive FFXV AU that I Do Not Have Time For: can you just IMAGINE if you could, not exactly tame them, but calm down daemons with music, just long enough to get to safety. Not most music, but like old folk music or traditional music or smth. Like some poor kid gets stuck outside at night with only their little pan flute and their nervously playing some Arcane Solheim lullaby they learned Somewhere and daemons come out only?????

tina-nina said: (2/2) they're not attacking??? they look confused?? So the kid just keeps playing, terrified out of their mind and the daemons STILL AREN'T ATTACKING so they speed walk to a haven and when the song finishes they scramble to play another and the things keep following cause pretty music until he gets there and then they scamper cause Oracle Magic. but the kid makes it back to their family and the story spreads like wildfire and suddenly there's a way to survive the night that doesn't involve

tina-nina said: (3/2) battle training, that anyone can learn, even those too young or sick. It's not a fix by any means, but it is a start. This got too serious, I started this thought with the image of big scary daemon sitting and listening to Pretty Music played by Smol Child while everyone else freaks out in the background. I will go back to running from my massive FFXV AU I Definitely Do Not Have Time For. I may have only one (1) other WIP, but that WIP is Kingdom Hearts so it is already Enough.

Me:

OH MY WORD I LOVE THIS IDEA????? Just- smol child playing his/her tiny flute and the daemons just- slowly rocking back and forth in time to it and NOBODY UNDERSTANDS WHAT’S HAPPENING.

And while I like the idea of other people picking up the habit as a defense, I also REALLY like the idea of it being just Smol Child who does it because who would believe the rumor that folk music will literally sooth the savage beast?

Imagine if it’s like- an orphan child. A child with nowhere to go and no one to take care of them, who gets USED to traveling through the night, serenading the daemons with song and dance and lyric because better the monsters you know than the ones disguised in human skin that orphaned them in the first place.

And maybe, somewhere in their deep, warped minds, the daemons begin to remember Pretty Song and associate it with the Smol Child. And maybe someday Smol Child will be running away from humans, either traffickers or Nifs or just plain bad people and dusk is setting in, night is just forming, and the child RUNS into the wilds with pursuers right behind and sobs-

and suddenly hears the familiar creak-squelch of daemons forming.

A LOT OF THEM.

The Horde rises up, hearing the voice of their Pretty Song raised not in Pretty Songs but in the terror and distress that usually attracts them and makes them ravenous. And the Smol Child cries because this is it, they have no breath to play or sing and their pursuers are RIGHT THERE-

The Horde descends on the pursuers, screaming and roaring and snarling in even more fury than is natural for their kind, and the Smol Child watches, gasping and shivering, as most of the daemons pass right by and the ones that do linger (a trio of Master Tonberry) have their backs to him, watching the carnage almost as if they’re keeping watch.

When the pursuers are nothing more than bloody shreds, the Horde slowly turns back to Pretty Song and there is a pause where the air is tight and fate is uncertain. Then Smol Child smiles and hums a soft thank you to the melody of an ancient lullaby and the daemons all go passive. Smol Child shakily pulls out their pipe and begins to play a simple, ancient folk song as they limp away for the nearest Haven and the Horde happily trail along behind, swaying in time, spread out like a vanguard for Pretty Song. The Master Tonberry array around Smol Child in a near military formation, swinging their lanterns in time to the song like a religious procession while the Iron Giants form a steady beat with their feet as they guard the rear and the Naga and Nagarini hiss and bob their way in the front while the goblins and imps scout ahead and the bombs light the way, swaying and bobbing unmistakably in time with the song like will o’ wisps out of some twisted nightmare version of a fairy tale.

Imagine if this procession crosses the road on their way to the Haven, picking up more and more daemons as they go along until it is a veritable parade, an army of the daemons all trailing along behind and around this one Smol Child who is visible in the crowd only because of the Tonberry lanterns and bobbing  bombs.

Imagine if someone, who was either dumb or desperate enough to be driving at night is forced to stop for this freaking DAEMON CROSSING, all the monsters ignoring the vehicle as they plod by, and the Smol Child is visible in the crowd, serenading these creatures of torment and night that are definitely not “safe”, that are still very dangerous, but who have grown to associate Pretty Songs with Smol Child and so are, for Smol Child only ... calm.

XD Imagine if it was a van or two of Kingsglaive who witness this. Who were driving back to Insomnia and things had happened so they’re driving late but like-

WHAT IS HAPPENING???

THERE IS A SMOL CHILD IN THERE IS THAT RIGHT? ARE WE SEEING THAT RIGHT???? SMOL CHILD HAS ARMY OF DAEMONS AND IS PLAYING MUSIC???????

The more superstitious wonder if this child is a new kind of daemon that can command other ones, but some of them (coughNyxcough) are intrigued enough to ... try it. After they get back to Insomnia and the report is made (and believed only because there’s like- 20+ glaives all making the same report) and they get shipped out again, Nyx grabs his old flute and treks out of the range of the lights and starts playing Old Galahdian folk music on it.

Lib, awakened by his Nyx Senses Tingling and then later Tredd’s frantic hissing from his post on watch, looks out from the perimeter to see Nyx sitting there, surrounding by about ten imps, playing ancient Galahdian lullabies and being not attacked. The imps are just quietly swaying to the song, chittering softly in what might be confusion (this is Not Pretty Song, but the music is Like Pretty Song’s. Attack? No Attack? Music is Nice. This one is Nice Song?)

Nyx, hearing Lib’s frantic hissing, slowly stands up and plays his flute all the way back to the intensely lit perimeter. The moment he stops playing within the safety of the lights, the daemons turn violent, hissing and screeching at him, bluff charging only to shy away from the light and then flee into the night again.

Nyx is impressed with his experiment. Lib is going to Strangle Him™.

[a-lame-follower]

Prompt: Double-Date Pairings: Glimmadora, Entrapdak WARNING: Bad writing. (Hey, at least I'm honest)

If they lived through this, Glimmer mused to herself as she shifted the basket from one arm to the other, she was going to seriously consider outlawing puppy dog eyes. To some that might seem drastic, but She had proven far too susceptible to its influence in the past. This situation was just one layer of icing on a multi-tiered cake made with bad decisions and baked in regret.

"I don't know how she convinced me this was a good idea." She said, more to herself than to her companion. "It's not like Hordak ever shown any inclination or desire to connect with others before...right?"

She let her words trail off into a question. For all the negative influence the man had previously had over her life, she couldn't say that she actually knew him personally, not really. Before the planetary bioweapon snafu, the catastrophic mess that was Horde Prime, and before whatever it was that was going on between him and Entrapta, it had been simple. All she'd needed to know was that he'd murdered her father and was a threat to the peace of Eternia. Now, with her father suddenly back from the grave and Hordak relinquishing his title as number one big scary warlord, she didn't know what to think anymore. Well, she thought she'd like to go back to the good old days where things made sense. Back then, all she’d had to do was attack people who attacked her. Inconveniently, that option was no longer available for her. For whatever reason, the fates had decided she had to be "mature" now. Fate could go throw itself off a cliff.

"No, you're right," Adora said, holding a basket of her own. Her voice was a little too cheerful to be genuine. "Hordak has all the charming sociability of a rock."

"Are you sure that's not unfair to the rock?" Glimmer said, smiling and reaching out her free hand to let her partner know she valued her company. Adora seemed grateful for the gesture and clasped the young Queen's hand in her own.

"I stand corrected. " the blonde said after that momentary pause. "I guess I owe the rocks an apology.'

"You could. " she agreed, "But then you'd spend the rest of your life apologizing." She sighed dramatically. "We'd probably never have the time to be alone together again. "

"I can do both!" The taller of that two women objected, before smiling to show she knew she was merely being teased. "But, I guess that is a lot of rocks." She acknowledged sheepishly, those sweet blue eyes meeting hers. "Promise not to tell on me?"

"It'll be our little secret." Glimmer assured before filling the distance between them, standing up on her too toes to capture Adora's lips. Smiling fondly down at the young Queen’s actions, Adora leaned in closer, silently encouraging her partner to seal their pact with a kiss. She felt those gentle lips gently press against her own when-

"They apologize to rocks." A voice growled, practically dripping with condescending disbelief. "How is it that my soldiers have not defeated you?"

-They were rudely interrupted by the arrival of the two people they had been waiting for in the first place. Adora grew rigid, dropping her basket and raising the sword she had used since she'd shattered her old one. Releasing Glimmer’s hand, her body settled into fighting stance, partially sheilding Glimmer from the man’s sight. She might have attacked if Glimmer hadn’t taken that moment to gently stroke her warrior’s arm to settle her. It would help no one if they acted rashly. The princess frowned, clearly uncomfortable in the former warlord's presence.

"Hello, Hordak." Glimmer said with a peace so artificial she knew it fooled no one. She could control the wince that twisted her face as those unnaturally bright red eyes settled on her. She was acutely aware that Adora still hadn't lowered her weapon.

"No, no!" A nasal voice chirped cheerfully. "Obviously, they don't make a habit out of apologizing to just any naturally occurring solid mass or aggregate of minerals or mineraloid matter!" She moved closer to them, using her long purple pigtails to give her additional height."Otherwise, Adora would have already known the sheer magnitude of the assignment she was setting for herself and wouldn't have needed Glimmer to convince her it was a fool's errand." She hummed after a second of stillness, her gaze turning thoughtful. "Though I'm sure you both would have an excellent time spelunking in the caves beneath Bright Moon together." She clapped her hands enthusiastically. "I know I've enjoyed allmost all of my visits to Dryl's mines!"

"It's great to see you, Entrapta." Glimmer said, biting her lip. "I'll keep your idea in mind, but I'm pretty sure my dad would disapprove if I went spelunking on sacred ground with my girlfriend."

"That hardly seems fair." Entrants frowned at her. "Speleology and the geosciences are fascinating; " she waved her arms in palpable enthusiasm. "For all we know, your father could be hindering some marvel of scientific progress!"

Wary of saying something that might result in further association with the fright zone's former despot(like almost volunteering to go on a trip with Entrapta to visit said mines), Glimmer paused. Unsure where she she should take the conversation she looked to Adora for assistance. Instead, she found her lady locked in a staredown with the smirking pointy eared-eared goblin man himself. Apparently Hordak had no intention of making this easier on anyone else so it would be up to them to be obliging in addition to well-mannered.  She sighed deeply through her nose. Then she reached out to touch her protector's arm, tentatively advancing on her as one might approach an injured stable cat.

Sensing her movement, those stunning blue eyes sought her gaze and, after an instant's hesitancy, permitted the touch. Adora was stiff, but she'd expected that from her. This was harder on Adora than it was on her, after all.

He might not have been directly involved in the appalling treatment Adora had suffered during her time in the Horde. However, Hordak had been the Horde's leader on Eternia. As such, he still represented some of the worst it had to offer. What that might entail she was still learn at. Most were quiet things she could only guess at from cryptic words and dark hints left like breadcrumbs leading to a witch's cottage. Still, Adora had voluntarily offered to tag along when Glimmer had told her that Entrapta had somehow managed to wrangle the young Queen into going on an evening picnic with Hordak. She hadn't been required to accompany her, but she'd done it anyway. Her selflessness was just another reason among many to love her.

However, she thought as she brought her hand out to touch the sword, if they were going to be playing nice with Hordak, it was a little counterproductive to have their weaponry drawn and ready for the slaughtering.

It took a second or two, but upon getting the intended message from the smaller woman’s weighted stare, a pout formed on the other girl's adorable little face. It took every inch of Glimmer’s free will not to giggle at the presence of She Ra's greatest weapon.

Fortuitously, Adora understood the value of civility in potentially explosive situations such as this and sheathed the sword before Glimmer's free will could shatter like fine china in the face of her onslaught. Still, it was a very near thing. She couldn't even muster up the composure left to resist the urge to reach up and tousle Adora's fluffy hair. She received a dirty look under thoroughly rumpled bangs as a reward for her wicked act of treachery. Regrettably, she found it endearing rather than chastising, so she let out a mischievous little chuckle that earned a small forgiving smile from her girlfriend and questioning glances from their audience.

"Do you think they've forgotten we're here?" Entrapta asked the man standing beside her in a stage whisper. "I wouldn't normally question it, but they've been silent for several minutes and keep making strange faces at each other."

"They are still quite young," Hordak answered, voice drier than the crimson wastes at high noon. "I wouldn't be surprised in the least to discover they still struggle with object permanence."

" 'They' are very aware of your presence and would prefer you not speak to them like they are children," Adora grumbled, pointedly ignoring the scoff her statement received.

"As you say."

"Anyway." Glimmer said clapping her hands together with a pointed cough. "You wanted us to join you, Entrapta?" She hoped it wasn’t obvious to anyone else how hard she was struggling to regain control of the situation before one of the more volatile members of their party said something that set the other off. If they broke ties with one another she wanted it to be for a good reason. Bombing out of polite conversation 101 was not the droids she was looking for.

"Yes!" said a grinning Entrapta. Minutes before, the older woman had been growing visibly anxious at the heightening tensions she'd inadvertently played a part in inciting. At her name, her face had broadened with her good cheer, making no attempts to disguise her delight for the possible distraction. "Well, I was talking to Hordak the other day while we were recalibrating the base's underwater thermometers after feeding the fish when I learned that he's never been on a picnic before, and-"

"Wait, so he just suddenly decided he wanted to go on one?" Adora asked, confused. “I’ve had picnics described to me before and they always sounded way less enjoyable than they actually are.”

“Um...well, I can’t speak for what you’ve heard as I wasn’t there to witness it.”  Entrapta said, eyebrows furrowing as she stared at her hands rather than make eye-contact. “ But I can say there are numerous benefits to going on a picnic.” She smiled at Adora. “If you’d like I can show you the power point presentation I made for him later.”

Glimmer stared at the former tyrant incredulously, trying and failing to think of how that might come up in conversation between the two. Or how she’d managed to sit someone like Hordak down to a lecture. Or what kind of fish lived in the fright zone. That led to wondering what fish they kept and what they might feed them, before she stopped her mind from wandering in what was very likely a dangerous area. For however long they were to be temporary allies, some things she just didn’t want to know.

"She is very persuasive." He admitted, giving his partner a side-eye, which was met with an encouragingly grin that was nearly blinding in its warmth. Part of Glimer wondered if she was only imagining what appeared to be a subtle flush of heat settling around his ears. Hordak’s eyes glanced quickly from Entrapta to Glimmer then back again. His face grew more determined, as if daring the Queen to laugh.

"I can be that, yeah." she said softly before perking up. “Especially when the data speaks for itself!”

His thin lips upturned, cautiously returning the look she had sent his way. It was a small action, but still, Glimmer had to avert her eyes to avoid letting them witness her second-hand embarrassment. Was this how kids felt when their siblings flirted with people in public? She glanced at Adora and was thankful to know she wasn't the only one feeling discomfited by this. She was not looking forward to when Frosta began considering the possibility of making potential romantic connections.

'Anyway! " Entrapta continued, oblivious to their distress. "I couldn't let that stand when the solution was so readily available." She gave them a meaningful look.

"So you...thought of us? " Adora asked, her confusion obvious.

"Well, not you specifically," Entrapta corrected with a shrug, then grimaced when her friend visibly deflated. "But I am very glad to see you here Adora!"

"That's... That's good to know Entrapta."

"I thought Bow and Glimmer would be the best people to ask since they have prior experience with acquainting and Horde soldiers with everyday civilian activities. " She turned her head to the side, briefly concealing her face with her mask and turning her body away from them. "Well, I tried to ask Bow, but er, his parents got to the line first, and... let's just say they don't approve of Bow talking to Hordak. "

Entrapta drooped further, almost seeming to shrink before their eyes, neither girl knew how to respond to the usually cheerful scientist's change of demeanor. Glimmer doubted they had said anything against Entrapta; they were both caring, empathetic men the universe was better off having. Still, she wouldn't be surprised if they had tried to warn her to stay away from Hordak. Maybe it was a little hypocritical considering where she was and whom she was meeting but She knew she would certainly have banned any child of hers from associating with people who were friends with war criminals. Those two were kinder than she was by far and any hurt feelings were doubtlessly done on accident. But that still meant there were hurts in need of mending. After everything those two had been through, emotions ran deep. She made a mental note to ask Bow about what had happened later.

Talking about what had happened had seemed to take the wind out of Entrapta's figurative sails, and it wasn't until Hordak had marched forward and almost tenderly pushed her against his chest that Entrapta seemed to pull herself together. Glimmer might have been inclined to call what he was doing a hug, had the red eyes not promised death to everything she held dear if she so much as whispered that he might be capable of sentimental feeling.

One day she going to discover his secret to making common actions seem threatening and use that dark talent for something constructive.

"Anyway, with Bow out of the picture that left Glimmer." The Queen wondered if she should be offended that she was the second choice but reasoned that out of the two of them, Entrapta had probably connected with Bow better than herself.

"Thankfully, her dad was out when I called, so I didn't have to worry about protective parenting instincts making things all needlessly confusing." She smiled at Glimmer, unspoken gratitude shining in her eyes. She took a moment to lament the fact that she was being made to feel guilty for second-guessing this trip when the person doing it had no idea she was even doing.

"I'd have taken him by myself, but, well," She could no longer meet their gazes, and seemed content instead to make herself a permanent fixture to Hordak's tunic. "I haven't been on a picnic with people who aren't... y'know... a robot in years, and I wanted to make sure his first time was his best time, so to speak."

"I didn't know who else to turn to, and I acknowledge this request is a lot to ask of you, but..." Her voice was so low, they had to strain their ears to hear her. "I hope it's okay that I asked you to come?"

Silence reigned on both sides as she finished talking. Hordak was glaring at them, commanding them without words to consent to whatever Entrapta asked. Glimmer rolled her eyes at the clone to let him know that his intimidations, impressive as his figure might be, neither frightened her not influenced her decision-making in the slightest. A grunt of what could have been either irritation or amusement was her only response.

Having attempted to assert herself, she decided to put the man out of her mind for now. She was here for Entrapta, not him. Despite their complicated history, they shared a bond.

But... She wasn't the only one who mattered. She stretched out her arm to get Adora's attention. Her partner sent a questioning glance towards Glimmer then went back to watching the scientist with no small amount of concern.

"Are you sure about being here?" Glimmer asked, speaking quietly to ensure they weren't overheard. "She doesn't need both of us. "

"Where you go, so do I," Adora swore, face inscrutable as she grabbed the hand she'd released upon the arrival of the second half of their group.

"I can choose not to do this then." Glimmer said, lowering her eyes to their now connected hands. This was a terrible judgment to make, but she knew that if she was forced to choose, she'd pick Adora over Entrapta. She was her partner. Awful as it might make her feel, her companion's trauma came first. "I don't want you doing anything that will hurt you, Adora."

"You forget something," Adora said in a voice so low she nearly missed it. "Entrapta's my friend too."

Glimmer froze then raised her head to meet Adora's challenging stare. The blonde narrowed her eyes in the face of her companion's reluctance and nodded. The young Queen smiled at the further confirmation of the woman's courage. They might have more than a few reservations about associating with Hordak in any fashion, but they wanted to be there to support their friend where they could.

"We'd be honored to share this meal with you. "

Entrapta's shriek of happiness could have shattered glass.

She wasn't entirely sure, but as their friend began eagerly showing them a neatly catagorized list of all the food she'd had her servants prepare for the evening's events, she thought she might have caught a glimpse of what may have even been gratitude on Hordak's face. Whatever it had been was expertly hidden behind a deliberately neutral mask when she turned around to check.

[idonthaveanaccent]

Just a little rambling and then a few bands I really like and you should totally check out, so expand it if you wanna see them :)

I know this isn’t a normal update, I just have to talk about this with someone.

Music is a vital part of everyday life for me. Everything I do has a backtrack. If I’m not watching a show in my room, I have to have music playing. When I write I have headphones in, blasting music, like right now. To go to sleep and sleep easily I have to play music, ever since I was young I’ve done it. I can’t remember not falling asleep without music playing. Music even helps inspire what I write. 

Point is, I love music. 

However, I am extremely uncomfortable with sharing my music. My freshman year I was made fun of the type of music I listen to, which has evolved a bit in the 3-4 years since that time, however it hasn’t ventured too far. 

When I was eleven my parents gave me a windows phone with no sim card, but it had a music app. They downloaded a bunch of child friendly songs and it was the first time I could control what I listened to. Before I had an old MP3 which was filled with Disney songs, Anamaniacs tunes, and ABBA’s Golden Hits. I can sing all them by heart, dances are a fun time for me. Now, I could look up songs. 

My best friend was into the alternative scene as her sister is six years older than us and as such had a more ‘adult’ music sense. She introduced me to the classic bands, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! At the Disco, etc. I loved their music, we’d listen to it on the bus to middle school. However, as time went on, I began expanding my music taste. I got into My Three Days Grace, Shinedown, and other similar bands. Then, Freshman year came.

I remember the moment clear as day. I was working on my photography notebook the week before finals like the dumbass I was am, with Pandora open and listening to one of the many radios. Then, a song came on. It was by a band I hadn’t heard of before. It was called Bad Company, and the band was called Five Finger Death Punch. Now, little fourteen year old me was a little shocked by the name but the song wasn’t unlike anything I’d heard before. I decided I liked that song and favorited it.

A little while later more of their songs began popping up, but they were a little different. Heavier. Angrier. And I loved it. I don’t know what it was about the gruff vocals or pounding drum beats or glorious guitar solos, but I was hooked. I then moved onto Spotify and listened to their albums, headbanging all the way. This was my first experience with Metal, and you better believe I was a fan.

As time went on I explored more bands. Alesana, Asking Alexandria, Crown the Empire, A Day to Remember, Halestorm, Ghost, etc. I tried showing people my favorite bands but they made fun of my music taste, mimicking their screams whenever I looked up. It was disheartening, and I never wanted to share it again. Not until I knew they were okay with it. I had people tell me they were scared of that music, and asked me to never play it in front of them. You can see how that would make me never want to tell anyone about it, right? Well, I kept it to myself, electing to share music with only a few people, one being my friend. She always jokes about how she showed me Fall Out Boy and all them and then lost me along the way. 

During Junior year I discovered even more bands, including one of my favorites, Ice Nine Kills. Amazing band, you should definitely check them out, but the advertising comes later. My music taste also diversified a little and I began listening to softer bands, like grandson and The Ghost Club. 

Now, to the main show. My recent music taste.

It all began with one Instagram video. A meme video that really isn’t all that funny. I was actually just looking through what I saved and it happened to be in a  really small folder, so I clicked it. Here is the exact video

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by positive memes (@positive_and_negative_memes) on Feb 23, 2019 at 6:14pm PST

So I was interested the song and band and decided to look them up. What I found was simply...amazing.

Okay, here comes the advertising of my favorite bands :)

I. Gloryhammer

The first Power Metal band I discovered and still my favorite. Here’s how Gloryhammer describes themselves:

“And lo, Planet Earth had been destroyed by the Hootsman, with an explosion so powerful it ripped a hole in the very fabric of spacetime. And yet, Zargothrax was still not defeated, for he managed to use his last shreds of power to escape through the dimensional rift. Vowing to defeat the evil sorcerer, Angus McFife XIII followed him into the portal, with no idea where it might lead…“

That may seem confusing, and it is, but trust me, when I tell you a bit more, it will all make sense. 

So Gloryhammer is one of the best bands I have ever heard before. Their concept is absolute gold and is the only of its kind I’ve seen before. Basically, every single one of their songs tells a story of the Land of Fife. The Lead singer (Thomas Winkler) is Prince Angus McFife (the 1st and 13th), keyboard/backing vocals (Christopher Bowes) is the Evil Sorcerer Zargothrax, guitar/backing vocals (Paul Templing) is Sir Proletiues, leader of the warriors of Crail, drums (Ben Turk) is the Ancient Hermit Ralathor, and last but never least is bass/backing vocals (James Cartwright), the Mighty Hootsman! 

Each album follows a part in the epic saga, with three in total. The first album tells the story of the original Angus McFife the I whereas the next two follow his ancestor, Anguc McFife XIII. I don't want to give too much spoilers but let's just say that all three are filled with so much creativity and twists that it’s like listening to a movie! I cant even express how if you are looking for something to listen to that has dragons, goblin kings, evil sorcerers, hammers, and space, then this is the band for you! 

I am going to put one song by them down because you can only have five and I’m big mad about it.

Gloryhammer - Legends from Beyond the Galactic Terrorvortex

So yeah, that’s band numero uno!

II. Sabaton

What is there to say about Sabaton that hasn’t already been said... 

Unlike Gloryhammer, Sabaton is older, formed in the nineties. Here’s what they say about themselves on their website:

“In the nearly two decades since their launch, Swedish metallers Sabaton have carved out a reputation as one of the hardest working bands in the business – gaining a legion of loyal fans across the globe, delivering eight highly-rated studio albums (including two certified platinum-sellers), and scoring multiple industry award wins and nominations… not to mention launching their own annual festival and cruise.

Combining soaring power riffs with vocalist Joakim Brodén’s instantly-recognisable gruff baritone, the band refuses to be simply slotted into a genre. Fans need only know them as Sabaton: the heavy metal band that sings of real life wars and the people who played a part in them – of gruelling campaigns and dazzling acts of bravery, of magnificent victories and touching personal struggles – true stories more fantastic than any fiction,”

Sabaton is, as they stated, a band dedicated to sharing stories of true battles throughout history. On their website they even have a whole calendar dedicated to historic events, so you can see what happened in history on whatever day you’d like! 

As a huge history geek, this band is amazing. I would watch the World War documentary series before I went to bed in middle school because I thought all of that stuff was so interesting. If I didn’t love writing and English as much as I do then I’d go into a career where history was involved. They were actually a part of my Spotify Wrapped this year where I explored 27 of their songs, listened to six of their albums, and spent over 39 hours listening to just them this year. 

Unlike what I did before, I am just going to showcase three of my favorite songs by them because they have way too many albums and I’m sad to say I didn’t listen to all of them. 

The Lost Battalion - The Last Stand

Now, onto the third band and a good one too!

III. Powerwolf

I’m not a religious person, I grew up being taught all that stuff but I consider myself to be more agnostic rather than Christian or any of that stuff. But, if there’s one religious thing I don’t mind bumping its the Priests of Metal, Powerwolf! Here's what they have to say about themselves:

“After spilling gallons of blood and fighting tirelessly, after only two albums with Napalm Powerwolf shot straight to the pole position of the official German album charts (and another album made it into the top three!). After selling out venue after venue and thrilling bigger and bigger hordes of fans, the time is right for a new chapter: The Sacrament Of Sin which offers eleven metal psalms forged for all eternity!

Powerwolf entered Fascination Street Studios in Örebrö, Sweden starting in January 2018 to work on their seventh manifesto together with renowned producer Jens Bogren (Opeth, Arch Enemy, Amon Amarth). The result is brimming with the Germans` trademark sound, and yet the band have recorded their boldest and most adventurous album to date! ‘Where the wild wolves have gone‘ even marks the first ballad in Powerwolf history – whereas ‘Nightside of Siberia‘ does the exact opposite and turns out to be one of the heaviest tunes the fivepiece have ever written. ‘Incense And Iron‘ simply MUST be part of every future setlist with its folky nature and anthemic catchiness; and epic single ‘Fire & Forgive‘ brilliantly melts infectious melodies into timeless, heavy shredding. The Sacrament Of Sin overwhelms both with sophisticated songwriting and sheer aggression – and proves once more why Powerwolf are the one and only true high priests of heavy metal!,”

The band is made up of vocalist  Karsten Brill as "Attila Dorn", lead guitarist Benjamin Buss as "Matthew Greywolf", bassist/rhythm guitarist David Vogt as "Charles Greywolf", keyboardist Christian Jost as "Falk Maria Schlegel" and drummer Roel van Helden. 

They’re really awesome and here’s my favorite song by them.

Army of the Night - Blessed and Possessed 

Now onto the fourth band ;)...

IV. Brothers of Metal

Oh boy, if you thought the bands might’ve mellowed out a little then you are sorely unprepared for this glorious group...

When I was younger I was one of those Percy Jackson kids, but my love for mythology started long before I read one of those books. As I grew older I expanded my knowledge, moving away from Greek and Roman and into Norse and other mythologies. You can imagine my joy when I found Brothers of Metal. They have no Wikipedia or website so here’s what Spotify says about them:

“BROTHERS OF METAL consist of eight powerful Viking warriors that originates from the glorious kingdom of Falun, far up in the north. Falun is a mighty town that lies within the dark iron woods where only true metal warriors reside. BROTHERS OF METAL are known to most as the strongest metal band in the nine realms. 

Before time, our eight warriors would travel through the realms and protect the good folk against evil. It was one of those nights that the legacy of metal was born. They came home from some pretty intense giant slaying and felt the common urge for mead and entertainment. The mead was generously flowing from the teats of Heidrun, but the music was really bad. The warriors took what instruments they could find and started playing, thus they wrote their first song Son of Odin, creating a tribute hymn to the strongest god they knew. 

The mortals of the kingdom was so impressed with the music that they couldn't get enough, our warriors looked at each other and so a band was formed. Together they swor an oath to keep the flames of true metal burning and to continue to play until the earthlings had worthy entertainment of their own, it's yet to come,” 

They haven’t released a ton of music when compared to the bands I listed before them, but they are absolutely amazing! All their music videos make me chuckle and when I watch Q&A’s they’ve posted they feel so down to earth that a person whos probably a decade younger than them if not less/more can relate to them. All their music has to do with Norse Mythology, but here’s my favorite music video yet:

The Mead Song - Prophecy of Ragnarök

And yeah, that’s it!

I hope you all weren't too bored and I hope you at least somewhat enjoyed this. It feels good to talk about my favorite bands. I’d love to put more videos in but Tumblr won’t let you so I guess we’re stuck with only one per band. I planned on doing three each but I guess that’s dead in the water. 

Oh well.

If you like any of this music/band honestly just reach out and talk to me, I love chatting about music. I don’t know a ton about the logistics or anything like that but we can share bands or songs or whatever. I sound really lonely which is true but please don’t feel shy.

See you all later! 

-Paige

[thehauntedcottage]

Ways that goblins communicate- a short guide for outside creatures

By giving gifts- such as scabs, a soft piece of fabric torn of an adventurer while they were sleeping, a cool looking rock they found in the caves or an especially sharp pinecone.

Guttural and animalistic noises- goblins are too lazy to really create a language within themselves so most of the time they rely on tone and hand gestures to speak. The more excited, angry and emotive in general the conversation the more body parts become involved in the gestures.

By getting into petty hand fights- a goblin will often fight with other goblins, for a warmer blanket, a pretty bead or any offense taken. These often involve weak but lengthy blows until one goblin wins by sheer determination alone. The only times a goblin really fights is to defend its horde or against enemies. It is advisable to not get into a dispute with a goblin because you will find your things continue to go missing for the rest of your life.

[silvermoonharry]

Tell me about your top 5 OC’s

Thank you for asking! ^_^ It’s super long, with pictures included so I’m keeping it under this read under! It was super tough just choosing 5.

Beyhana

Night Blood Elf Demon hunter

Bio: 

Neyhana Beyhana Felmoon was one of my first RP characters on WoW. My first character to come to WRA after I migrated from Aggramar. Her backstory grew naturally as I learned more about WoW lore and the game itself. She’s an old Kald-cough-I mean Sin’dorei whose mostly retired after the defeat of the Legion. Once alliances were reestablished, she moved to Boralus and bought a small cafe with her adopted human son Leon. She took to a less action paced lifestyle because it gave her more time to be with her son, and should she ever die, due to demon possession or horde attacks. She hopes that having the cafe around would at least be something Leon could use to keep himself in honest work without having to go through the hardships of war that she once did.

Hobbies:

Walking the harbor of Boralus with Leon.

Trying to learn new recipes that are easy enough to be made blind.

Listening to Leon read her stories.

Top Spotify Artists/Songs: 

1. Myself by Bazzi

2. Defying Gravity by Wicked

3. When You Were Young by The Killers

4. Ugly Heart by G.R.L.

Belnet

Bloodborne Elf Adventurer

Bio: 

Pelnet was the first horde character I really found myself in a groove with. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a nelf belf slut or just because it was my first time trying a fury warrior. I found myself really getting immersed in his character, despite my lamination over the lack of Nightborne themed weapons and plate armor. The lack there of, sort of influencing his more worldly nature of trying out other culture’s weapons and armor. Sidenote, that’s not his current RP gear, just my current questing gear that I have him in and I think looks pretty a’ight. 

Belnet is a wandering sword for hire. Since the revolution in Suramar, he finds his pleasure in traveling the new world and enjoying all of the new cultures, foods, and thrills that have come about during his time in Shiny Bubble Isolation(SBI). Currently, he hangs around the wealthy Troll capital of Zuldazar, finding good money in the few skills he has. For as we all know, Gonk wants heads.

During his time in SBI, Belnet was a beat cop of sorts. A guard who spent most his years stopping minor crime. But once the revolution came into full swing is when things got complicated. Shamed with the things that the Old Regime ordered of him and his comrades during the revolution, he now keeps himself in self-imposed exile. Not yet willing to go back to Suramar and deal with the ghosts that still haunt him.

Hobbies: (I’m not doing a normal numbered list anymore, tumblr is a broken website and it fucks up my formatting every time i click the list button.)

1. Going to new restaurants/bars after a good pay day.

2. Loves going to beaches and swimming in the warm waters.

3. Doing enchanted tattoos as a side hustle.

4. Finding free beds to share with interesting locals. 

(could I have put that any weirder if I tried? No. I rolled a nat 1 in flirting, and now in my descriptions)

Top Spotify Artists/Songs: (He has my 2nd most favorite playlist so it was hard to choose)

1. Blasé by Ty Dolla $ign

2. False Kings by Poets of the Fall

3. I’m Born to Run by American Authors

4. Danser Dans Ma Chambre by Helix Jr

5. Lost in the Fire (feat The Weekend) by Gesaffelstein

6. Dancing in the Moonlight by Toploader (it’s the only artist spotify had for that song)

7. Caught in the Fire by Bazzi

Valthendias

Blood Elf Holy Knight

Bio: 

The one character I didn’t have to poorly photoshop at all, Valthendias is the OC I have the weirdest relationship with. A belf Knight who, through some shitty situations, ends up guarding a group of Sin’dorei Mages as they explore the Void. During which he finds himself contaminated and suddenly a new type of elf, being exiled from his homelands for a second time. His wife refusing to talk with him fearing the damage to her station, his family exiling him for the risk of themselves being considered collaborates. He came to the Alliance alone and broken. Surround by those he once considered as the enemy and by Velfs who he feels betrayed him.

I have about 5 different class versions of Velf him, none of them seeming to stick. His past self being a pally worked out perfectly as I find I love playing Belf pally. But post-pally him?? I have a velf warrior, DK, Hunter but none seem to really be exactly how I envision an ex-Belf Knight being in my head. But despite not being able to find a stable class for his current self, I have the most love for him, he has the largest playlist on spotify out of all my OCs, the most written about his story past and present, and yet I hardly ever play him! Poor Valt.

Hobbies: 

1. Learning how to care for his new Voidstalker friend.

2. Drinking.

3. Drinking.

4. Trying to find a stable job that doesn’t involve other Velfs.

5. Not thinking about the Void.

6. Trying to write poetry to get the thoughts out of his head.

7. Drinking.

Top Spotify Artists/Songs:

1. Born Again by Saint Motel (He has so much Saint Motel, so I’ll limit it to this one song of theirs)

2. Hurt by Oliver Tree

3. Nice Guy by Courtship

4. Don’t worry, You will by Lovelytheband

5. Turn the Lights off by Tally Hall

6. Get Used to It by Ricky Montgomery

7. It’s Alright by Mother Mother

8. Saint Bernard by Lincoln9. Breezeblocks by Alt-J

10. Goodbyes (feat. Young Thug) by Post Malone

Bydryn

Night Blood Elf Ex-Druid of the Talon, current Druid of the Ranch*

Bio: 

Mydryn Earthclaw quickly became one of my favorite characters to RP, the calm, peaceful nature of being a druid in quiet isolation was a fun one to do, especially when I was leveling him through Pandaria and built up his little farm house. 

Bydryn Bloodclaw’s main form became the bear form. Coming from my love of playing druid tank, and from that rush you get when you kill some shit geared prick ganking lowbies in leveling zone. Nothing beats the sound of the /claps of level 20s as you achieve victory lmao.

But in character he plays as a soft spoken defender who enjoys bear form mostly for how damn comfortable it is taking a nap in a cushy hill of grass as a bear. After the burning of Teldrassil, he currently finds himself trying to give aid to those in need in Stormwind, offering traditionally cooked meals or healing. If you’ve RPed in the streets of Stormwind of WRA, you could find him walking a route shouting about “FRESH SPICED BREAD! ROASTED KALDOREI FISH!”

Hobbies: 

1. Cooking traditional Kaldorei Meals.

2. Managing his farm.

3. Spending hours wandering the forests, gathering herbs for tinctures.

4. Talking with and eating dinner at his good Draenai friend Siphyr (eyes emoji)

Top Spotify Artists/songs:

1. The Wider Sun by Jon Hopkins

2. A Gift of Thistle by James Horner

3. Healing Elves by Derek Fiechter

4. Moonshadow by Yusuf/ Cat stevens

5. Healing Chant by Heather Alexander

Bcazim

Goblin Boblin gangster

Bio: 

Scazim while not my most fleshed out character by any means, Bcazim is on this list because i’ve had the most fun while Rping him.

A creepy, scummy, drug dealer in Silvermoon makes for some real interesting times lmao. Even if they try threatening him, trying to offer an Orc deathknight, or a group of Blood Knights some cheap blood thistle is the best RP ever if they play along.

Hobbies:

1. Selling Blood Thistle

2. Lying about his name

3. Trying to convince his friend Kyrus to hang out with him at all.

Top Spotify Artists/Songs:

1. Ispy (feat. Lil Yachty) by Kyle

2. King of the Clouds by Panic!

Honorable Mentions

Noalith - The Velf responsible for ruining Valthendias’ life who has #NoRegrets.

Duff - Disgraced Dwarf of few words.

Thylivour - I wanted to include to include her, my Nightborne Mage whom I love. But I suck ass at playing a mage, and i’ve already made this list too long. 

[cuthie]

Omru: Talk Talk Talk

Dripping.

  Vul’dun was a hot desert often frequented by raging sandstorms. The heat could be downright oppressive and water a scarce resource. So when Omru came to, the sound of dripping water was almost alien to his large vulpine ears. Slowly he brought his hands to his eyes, wiping the crud sleep had gathered along his lashes.

Drip, drip-drip, drip.

  Om groaned as he sat up, his eyes adjusting to the dim light. Beneath him was a thin blanket atop a smooth stone. The air was relatively warm and along the walls were torches being held by small earthen sconces. He was inside a cave, that much was certain, though not one he was familiar with. In the corner was a very small shallow pool, and what was interesting was that water seemed to drip down only above the puddle and nowhere else. Near the water was an odd red metal object, drilled into the stone itself. The drill had a flickering blue light that seemed to match the rhythm of the dripping droplets.

Blink blink blink, drip drip drip.

  Light flickered at the opposite end of the cave as a hooded figure passed before a torch, revealing an exit Om hadn’t initially seen. A trick of the stone, it only looked to be a solid room, the far cavern wall blending into what looked like a stone hallway. This hooded figure began to sing in the most off key croaking sounds Omru had ever heard.

“Oh wella wella wella woop, tell me mo’, tell me mo’, how much dough did he spend?”

  Omru snarled his muzzle, “If you’re gonna kill me, then kill me quickly. I can’t bare this kinda torture a moment longer.” The hooded figure stepped into the torchlight, revealing himself to be an odd furless bipedal creature.. Like a troll but not quite, Vulperine in size,and ugly as sin.

“Ey, I been nurturin’ yous back ta life with these songs. Fuggin kids today don’t appreciate nothin, I tell ya. Anyways, welcome back to tha land of tha livin’. We diden getta meet proper last time, on account of yous was seducin’ rocks with them pipes. I’m jelly, ta tell ya true. At’s a gift, kid, but damn if I ain’t all befuddled tryin ta figure out what that’s gotta do wit’ shamanism. And I’m sure you gots questions too, so let’s have a nice chat. Whaddaya say? Tha name’s Pazaz. Pazaz Nunya Bidniz, proud member of the Earthen Ring and.. Kindy sorta semi ashamed member of the notorious Horde. Heh.”

  Omru’s big bright orange eyes blinked in mild disbelief. He wasn’t really up and up on his history, but Horde sounded like a familiar word. What really struck his interest was this green ball of hot air’s funky way of talking. Of course, trading tales and exchanging information was a way of life out in the desert, often a profitable one. Still, this guy had saved his life, so Om wasn’t withholding. “Omru. I kind of remember you. I’ll be honest, waking up, I kind of thought I had just dreamt you into creation. Sooo, what happened and where are we?”

“Omru what? No last name?”

“Nah. Having more than one name just sounds complicated. I’ve heard of a few, though.”

  Paz shrugged, “Cool. Okay, so, I came here ta Sargeras’s butthole on a super secret mission. Recruitin good guys to fix the world’s problems. Ain’t secret no mo’s, is it? Aha! Along the way, I saw that a buncha you fox folks was all chained up and/or enslaved. Slavery is uh.. We had it back in Kezan, former island paradise of my peoples the Goblins. I had a few myself, but I done learnt the errors of my ways, yeah? So I went about settin yous all free. Ain’t that sweet’a me? You remember that bit, for sure. I smashed them shackles right offa yous, then ya summoned an elemental to smash them slavers into snake dust. You passed out, ya babysitter picked ya up, and I lead you and about a dozen more Vulpera out ta safety. The Horde’s got the rest of your friends.. Or family or whatever. I kept you, though. Even built up these lil digs. I ain’t the best healer, but it got the job done. Your turn, tell me about the rock monster you employed.”

  Omru’s eyes darted from corner to corner in the room as he absorbed the story. Sargeras? Probably a religious figure. Goblins. That sounded familiar, right? He had heard of them before. Probably. He scratched at the back of his neck, his shoulders feeling stiff as he did. In response, he hopped up off the ‘table’ and stretched out. For a moment he just patted himself down, checking that all of his parts were there, then curled his tail to his arm for inspection. Everything seemed fine. Better than when he was chained up for sure. Hm. “So. You saved me, thanks, I owe you. Rock monster, huh? Yeah, she came in handy. I’ll be honest, not too sure how it all works. Just something I found a few months ago. Not Rocky, but the totem on the rawhide. That was my second time using it, glad it worked. Now, you said you kept me here instead of leaving me with the rest at the Horde camp. Why?”

  Pazaz picked at his nose with his pinky finger, then flicked the booger towards a wall to let it stick. “Found it. That don’t sound right.”

  Omru cringed. Ugh, what a dirty little bastard. He took a second to shake the image from his head, “Well, that’s the truth. I find lots of things. Not all of them summon stone guardians though. That’s why it’s my most prized possession.”

Paz exhaled, “So you don’t know nothin ‘bout shamanism?”

“I know it’s a thing that a couple troll tribes do to talk to ghosts, trees and bugs.”

Paz rolled his eyes, “That ain’t right, ya numb skull. Ghosts? Sure. Trees? Nah-uh. Bugs? No way. The elements kid. We commune with the whole flippin’ world.”  Shaking his head, he pointed towards the red metal machine dug into the stone near the pool, “That’s my water totem. I’m a shammy extree-fuggin-ordinaire. And that’s why you’re with me instead of the goof troop back in the sand bunker. Horde is uh.. Horde is good people sometimes, but bad people to they’s enemies. I diden want’cha involved with them until I talked to yous first. The Earthen Ring, remember I told ya I work for’em? They’re all shaman. They all got different ways of talkin to the elements, maybe even some of them sing, heh. Me, personally? I write contracts, with a small exception for my favorite breath of fresh air. Anyways, yeah, I’m kinda hopin to recruit yous. You got talent, kid. Not just singin, which was great. Like, dream big, you could make it as an entertainer. But communin’ with the earth the way ya did? It was casual, natural even, right? Folks don’t just pick up a totem and use it. Magic don’t work that way, the elements don’t work that way. So the way I sees it? You got shamanism in ya blood. Or mayhap ya just an elemental bard or some shit and you’s singin is all magickal and whatnot. I dunno, but I think with a couple of years learnin from the Earthen Ring, yous could help repair the planet. Maybe. Shamanism is hard as fel. Anyways, Azeroth needs all the repairs she can get. Whether you know this or not, this bitch is about to flip on it’s back and flat out die. Dead. D.E.D. Dead. You unnastand the words what’re comin outta my mouth?”

  Omru folded his arms over his chest as he stared at the metal totem. It was nothing like his own mystical treasure. His was a small wooden vulpine carving attached to rawhide. This thing was ten to twenty times bigger, metal and blinking. Weird. Shamanism wasn’t a foreign concept, he had seen a shaman or two. Some of the Vulpera even. Honestly though? He had no idea where he would even start with such an offer, but, he did owe this guy. “Uh. I’m getting like every other word. Cultural differences and all that. You want me to be a shaman and meet your friends? That’s- Not in the stars, my friend. Sorry, I just don’t see myself putting on religious garb and becoming best friends with the clouds. I can help in other ways, though. I mean, I owe you my life. Oh and where are we? You didn’t say. Not many sources of water out here.”

  Paz grinned, his sharpened goblin teeth akin to a baby shark’s, do doo do doo do doo, “Shame. It ain’t for everyone, and for all I know, yous got lucky with the necklace. Anyways, far as where we is? We’re only a hop skip anna jump from where I snuck into the Slitherfucks nest to save yous. The pool comes from ocean water, my friend. I got it flowin through the ground, donatin it’s salts to the earth. This shit is clean as a night elf’s moonwell. It’s purity yous can taste. I oughtta bottle it up and write that on tha label, yeah?”

Omru’s eyes widened further, “You can do that?”

“Kid, stick with me and you’ll see that ain’t much ole Paz can’t do.”

“Okay, how? I’m listening, I’m curious to learn.”

  Paz interlocked his fingers together, pushing his hands out until the bones made a light popping noise, “Alright, first one’s free, aha.” Grinning, he walked over to a small leather backpack, taking just a minute to open it and rummage about to eventually pull out a glowing golden scroll, “This here is a contract. They ain’t always so pretty, but I like ta get all fancy. You can’t read it, don’t ask, but I’ll give yous tha jist of it. I made peace witta Water Elemental over in Stranglethorn once upon a when. The Elements, you see, can grant folks boons. Make us all magickal an shit. The mo betta ya elemental friend is, the stronger you get an all that. But they always ask for somethin’ in turn. Some folks take it by force. We call them fat heads and punch’em in tha junk. Anyways, sometimes the elementals want somethin specific, sometimes it’s just a code to follow or a pledged oath. This contract was written up, enchanted and I got that there totem to really help me harness her watery goodness. Like, I could mend some minor flesh wounds wit just a little stream nearby or somethin’. But out here in the desert, I needed to pull out the totem to get a good source flowin. It won’t last forever, but trust me, that’s powerful magic to make that lil puddle. Speakin’ of powerful totems, iffens you ain’t intressed’ in shammin it up in the maelstrom, how bouts you offer me that thing around ya neck and we’ll call us square”

  At the mention of his own totem, Omru pinched the wooden figurine between two furry fingers, “Oh. You, uh, don’t have enough of your own?”

  Paz changed to a more sombering expression, “I can’t just eyeball a totem an know it’s history. I dunno where ya found this thing, but if that elemental is bound to it, that ain’t right. What is you doin for her? Nothin cause ya don’t speak tha lingo. She’s a prisoner, bud. Just like you was.”

  Om slipped the little strap of rawhide over his head, momentarily getting it caught on a large fuzzy ear. “I didn’t know that, sorry. Just.. found a magic item and put it on. Can’t blame a guy for his love of loot, right?” Sighing, he handed the necklace over. He hadn’t had the thing for too long, but twice now that elemental had saved his bacon.

  With no flash or incantation, Paz simply twirled the totem between his fingertips, summoning the earth elemental to his side. The rocky creature was large enough to almost fill the entire little nook, ducking it’s head and forcing the fox boy to take a few steps back. “Heya girl. You’re a good egg, okay? Ya diden hafta save this boy, but ya did. Want me to see yins free?”

  Omru watched as the elemental moved about slowly, as if fidgeting. He couldn’t hear a damn thing, but apparently Paz did.

“Is that so? Yo, Omen, did you find this necklace on somebody’s dead corpse?”

Om’s eyes widened, “What, no! And it’s Omru.”

“Chill, I’m just makin sure tha owner ain’t died. This lady right here belongs to someone named Keyi. Ring any bells?”

Om nodded once, “Yeah, I know a Keyi. She’s a bit of an odd bird.”

  “Good, take me to her when you’re back on ya feet, kay? We’ll get these two reunited.” Paz extended four little greeny wigglying fingers towards the Elemental, who in turn extended a few floating pebbles from what might be a limb? Hands were touched, for the briefest moment, before the elemental was taken back to her home plane.

  Omru just watched the whole scenario, fascinated. “Uh.. Yeah, I can think of a few spots she might be. We don’t exactly have permanent addresses, ya know?”

  Paz shoved his hands in his pockets, “Yeah, I heard that about yous all. Kindy like the Tauren that ways. Oh and you’ll get a kick outta this. Ole gal thought you -was- Keyi. Says all you Vulpera look the same to her. Plus she thought ya singin’ was perty. Cute, huh?”

  Omru smiled at that. It wasn’t the first time he had accidentally wooed someone through song, likely wouldn’t be the last. Heh. “Cute.”

--

[staticsamuraiart]

Hoo boy, this one's a long one

There's a TLDR way at the end.

I had one of my longer running games come to a messy head last night where a couple of the players enacted a party betrayal. Here is your cast primarily involved so I don't have to keep using full titles to keep everything straight. We're level 17.

The Tiefling Barbarian who's been having a mental breakdown for the last 3 or 4 games as his entire life up until a certain point has been revealed to him to be a lie, thus causing a downward spiral of paranoia and a refusal to trust literally anyone, party members included. Shortened to "The Barbarian" from now on.

The way-too-hard-to-explain Ranger turned Devil Vampire Queen (there's a lot going on here). The character was once a Tabaxi with a hunger for treasure hunting. Now she wishes to ascend to godhood and become what is essentially a god of piracy and treasure hoarding. Shortened to "The Ranger" from now on.

The Undead Warlock/Life Cleric who has thus far been an amazing healer and generally has a fix for everything and is unaffected by most things who gets the most screwed over in this scenario. Shortened to "The Cleric-Lock" from now on.

And the more minor involvements, a Lycan bloodhunter, our demi-god Bard, and myself as the circle of the moon druid. We were affected but not nearly as directly.

The situation! We were in the Feywild and crawling through a dungeon. I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't expecting this dungeon because I was under the impression we were gathering allies in the Feywild because our plane is at war with the Devils but that's another story. We split the party (first mistake) because the dungeon has two paths to go through and one team was forcibly separated after a cave in. The Bard, Bloodhunter, and Barbarian go one way. The Cleric-lock, Ranger, and Druid go the other. Party A and B respectively.

Party A proceeds forward. There's pretty much mostly harmless or not at all dangerous traps laid out through this place so they kind of murderhobo on through. They uh.... let's just say an innocent child gets straight up murdered by the Barbarian who betrays them and tries to book it for the item at the end of the dungeon. Shenanigans ensue and the Bard traps the Barbarian in a Forcecage, while he and the Bloodhunter bamf out to continue through the dungeon.

Party B has a significantly easier time, because overall we are the less* murderhobo side (*one of the traitors is in this group, guess whooo). We power through a much more significant portion of the dungeon and make it to the boss room. "The Boss Room" being the room where the treasure is guarded by goblins...

Now to condense the story, the Vampire and the Barbarian for different reasons were trying to obtain AN INSANELY RARE AND POWERFUL LEGENDARY SWORD THAT GRANTS WISHES. Like high tier shit. The Ranger's plan was to trap or kill everyone in this dungeon because she is the reason it even exists. She has been meticulously planning with the DM for months on her ultimate betrayal and finally reached her point. She plays her trump card (although it ends up not being as awesome as expected because she misunderstood a mechanic, nbd) but proceeds to continue. Here's where things get complicated so let me explain piece by piece:

The ranger supposedly had a wish saved from a previous session when she encountered multiple wish granting items all at once (Frankly she's had insane luck in obtaining wishes all through this campaign). Many of us at the table were pretty sure she did NOT have the wish saved, but the DM ruled she definitely did even though the math didn't line up. The Ranger used this wish spell to force the Cleric-Lock to have amnesia.

Clarification; the DM specifically stated there is no save, no counter, no anything to stop this wish. It happened and there was nothing the player could do about it. Now you might be thinking "but you're the druid, couldn't you have still stopped her?" or even "that's not very fair, shouldn't there still be some kind of DC if the wish copied a spell that exists?"

Well to answer the first thought as simply as possible, I am a homebrewed version of an Eidolyn. You know? Those things Summoners essentially make a bond with and can summon out to fight and shit for them? Yeah, it's neat. The second answer is like, wow hey same bro, I agree. That doesn't make much sense to me. DM ruled "It happens because it's not the 'spell' wish, it's like the 11th level bomb ass crazy powerful WISH wish." and personally I didn't agree but DM rules so I wasn't gonna fight it out. Powerful magic is powerful. Other players at the table were incredibly upset over it and the tensions rose.

Back to explanations, I was originally bonded to the Bard, because at the start of the game we were playing a dnd skin of El Dorado but our "Tulio" left left the game early on. Anyway, here's the problem; I wasn't bonded to the Bard. I was bonded to the Ranger.

"But Static, how can that be? you don't just un-bond to your chosen person!"

Yeeeah well, there was a situation where I got petrified and that sucked. I failed my saves twice. The Ranger had a very powerful ally who had unpetrified me, but he also apparently marked me and bonded me to the Ranger. The DM's argument was that because I "died," I was no longer bonded to the Bard, and was open to have a new bond made. Now I'm not mad or anything at the situation, I'm a very flow with the punches player, but my problem is that that seems like something I should have known, right? I didn't though, I had no idea my bond was shifted; no idea I was even remotely connected to the Ranger in such a way. It was well hidden, because we WERE connected BEFORE that situation came about. Devils' rules, souls being traded and shit, partially due to my Eidolyn heritage; it's complicated.

Why is that important? Well technically speaking, because I was HER Eidolyn, I was HER minion. She ordered me to go ahead and grab her legendary wish sword while the Cleric-Lock was essentially reverted to a mindless Spectre- complicated- and proceeded to possess the Ranger because he still had the general notion that the situation was a hostile one. Ranger failed her save, became a vegetable. I was still following my order. Those Goblins? Used the wishes to wish for Fire toads, and then wished to be okay with fire. AKA they're slowly burning to death on their new Fire Toad mounts as I grab the now innert sword. Okay well it's still a wicked sword, but the wishes were spent.

ALLLLLL things come to a head. The druid goes wild berserk for a while as her "summoner" has essentially been incapacitated, a powerful ally the Ranger summoned whisks the Ranger's body away as the Cleric-lock still maintains control of her body, the Barbarian is trapped in a Forcecage, and the Bard and Bloodhunter bamf the fuck out of there (don't worry we had a sort of anchor that kept the time dilation at bay and they successfully saved on the memory loss thing). Eventually the druid returns to herself, and also bamfs out back to the anchor point with successful memory saves; leaving half of the party essentially wiped and the players for the Barbarian, Cleric-lock, and Ranger will be rolling new characters.

Now this was a lot to go over, because it is a very complicated set of characters with crazy backstories and hordes of batshit insane items and powers because we're so high level and it wouldn't be easy to understand from an outside view if I hadn't provided as much context as I did. The situation with the wish being un-salvagable for the player, combined with the seemingly random entering of a dungeon when our goal was nowhere near such a thing, and the overall out of character tensions that kept rising with disruptive players ended up causing a lot of arguments and a lot of strife; DM and players alike.

What I'm trying to get at is that it's okay to disagree with how your DM runs things. It's okay to think a situation in game was handled unfairly. It's okay to clash opinions. Sometimes DMs are set in their ruling, and sometimes a DM enacts Rule 0: DM says, therefore it is. That is valid. That being said, if you communicate your concerns with [insert clashing opinion here] and you feel you are just butting heads with the DM with no resolution, compromise, or even validation then it is OKAY TO LEAVE THE GAME.

The Bard's player was the most upset with how the game turned out; what with disagreeing with the wish rulings, finding the lack of any possible inklings to our evil players plotting schemes (by that I mean there was only secret conversations with the DM and no in game nuances noted with no rolls involved), and overall finding the betrayal to be from left field and otherwise just an unfair game with multiple examples of the DM railroading certain party members into being or acting some kind of way when they didn't have the chance to save themselves, notice the issues, or generally be involved in the decision that was forced upon their characters (Cleric-Lock and Druid as the main examples). it resulted in the Bard's player deciding to leave the game prematurely. The DM and him got into a heated argument in person and over facebook, and they just couldn't agree and it ended up getting to that point of "well if you want to run the next game go ahead" attitude.

The situation is fresh, so it's still heated between the two people. Maybe they'll make up, or maybe they'll see that they clash and don't even want to be friends anymore. Idk, but I for one see the game as a learning experience. I myself have had reservations about the game and the DM for a long time, and in general just haven't really felt a deep connection with my character or the story. There were moments, but they were pretty few and far between. I don't hate the players, and I don't even blame the ones who took evil routes and betrayed us. I just wish there was a better synergy between us with Players, Party, and DM. Things probably would've been better.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. I just wanted a place to unload the story and organize my thoughts on the situation. I want to clarify too that the DM isn't a bad DM or a bad person, in fact he even pre-game warned us that things might get heated and cooked for us while he tried to be as fair as he possibly could be. This isn't a blasting on social media, nor is it a callout post. I just don't like putting these things on facebook because do you see this novel I wrote? Fuck that noise I just wanted to journal it somewhere and voice out that not every DnD game is perfectly balanced or perceived to be handled fairly. He did his best, he made his calls, and he urged us all to make sure we knew we were all still friends after the game was over.

TLDR; Our DM kind of railroaded a couple players and made some questionable decisions on how he handled some PvP scenarios which angered a chunk of the players and overall it was just a bad time. We're still friends but sometimes friends get passionate over the things they have strong views on and arguments happen. It's okay though, humans aren't perfect. We cool.

Thanks for reading. <3

[archmage--khadgar]

Prompt: Khadgar's reaction to the burning of Teldrassil. Does he try to save as many lives as he could? Or does he just sit back and watch the tree and its inhabitants burn and if he does, would he have a heart and feel remorse for the many innocent lives that were lost or is he a heartless bastard and pretty much say "They had it coming."?

(As I said in the other post. YOU ASKED FOR THIS ANON. YOU WENT THERE.)By the time Khadgar had learned of Darnassus, it was already too late.White ash softly drifted onto his black feathers as he watched the city burn from the treeline hugging Darkshore. His heart ached as the loss of so much life at the hands of a conflict very few on Azeroth wanted. Being viewed as a potential enemy to the Horde in Silithis simply because he was human, and his counsel not being required by the Alliance once the Horde had started to move due to his involvement with them just weeks prior told Khadgar everything he needed to know.The leaders of Azeroth did not see worth in him, in banding together for the better of Azeroth, and any sentient being that did not take up arms with one side or the other on the battlefield would be crushed and destroyed by the faction war machine. His heart ached for the friendships forged during the fight against the Legion that was now sending former heroes of Azeroth to the stockades, interrogations, into hiding, or broken by betrayal. Azeroth was bleeding, dying.  Both the Alliance and Horde knew that draining the blood of Azeroth would destroy the world faster then they could destroy each other. He was not surprised that Goblins would jump on the chance for mone, and he did not blame Sylvanas for being antsy, especially after what Greymane did in Stormhiem. But oh, oh. When the races of Azeroth leached the blood of their own world to kill each other, what world would be left for them to conquer? Would the faction left standing, prepped with the weapons forged from life and blood, with the knowledge of the stars, become the next Legion? Moving from world to world, draining them of their souls and blood? He had seen the lust in the eyes of the Alliance and Horde when transported to the alternate Draenor. They both wanted it for their own faction, he had heard their comments. Even with Pandaria, the warnings of the Pandaren about the Sha did not stop the fighting. It did not stop the death of hundreds and the destruction of an ancient vale. As hot as the ember winds were while they kissed his feathers and beak, he knew the heat paled in comparison to what those doomed to burn in Darnassus would have felt before turning into ash. He knew that some of the ash covering the trees and sand and shore would have cremated remains mixed in.  He knew that eventually, new life would spring from these ashes so long as the world was able to live long enough to heal.He could hear fighting in the distance, but he felt no need to investigate, to watch. There was nothing he could do. If either side saw him as an enemy to be conquered, they would march upon Karazhan and that was a place that did not, and could not, belong in the hands of those who would seek mass destruction with the knowledge tucked away. Khadgar was grateful that neither side had thought to take their weapons and turn them on Karazhan. Light save them from whoever dare try first. He was sure that any wards placed by him or Medivh would not stand up against the very essence of Azeroth herself. He cawed mournfully, reminding himself of his duties. If the children of Azeroth would not take care of their own world, then he, Magni, and the Cenarion Circle would have to work extra hard to heal her. The sad fact of it was, the loss of Darnassus affected individuals, but not the world herself. The loss of Undercity did not harm the planet’s soul any further. Neither event helped to heal, and it would only get worse from here, but both could be rebuilt. Life could be restored. Regardless, had he had been here, he could have least aided, if secretly, in the evacuation of the city. He wondered why Jaina hadn’t been here, it was curious timing for her to have been elsewhere.  Khadgar glanced up at the warm clouds blocking any indication of the time of day. A peculiar coincidence, no doubt. Fate perhaps? Was this destiny at play? What was it that Murozond had said? That he had seen the true end of Azeroth, and his dark future was a blessing no one else could comprehend?The light lies, the void lies, but could time lie? Was the feeling of choice in being able to change the future an illusion? Were each possible futures actually completely separate timelines; each line determined long in advance? Only changeable by those who had the power to see it? He surmised that the knowledge of how Azeroth is to fall must be what eventually drives Nozdormu mad.  He turned his head to the south, to where Sargeras plunged his sword into the heart of Azeroth.  That monster started his Crusade with admittedly, the intent to save worlds from Old Gods.  As…brutal as his methods were and the harm it caused, it was all sparked by a desperate need to keep worlds away from the dark ones.Had Sargeras seen Azeroth fall to corruption?Was Azeroth already….?He turned his head back to the sounds of fighting, heart sinking.Both factions would easily give up the life of the world if it meant killing the other side. Sargeras did not split a bond between the people of Azeroth, he gave them the means to destroy each other, and kill Azeroth before she could be infected by the Old Gods.Sargeras had won.The temptation was there, ohhh, was the temptation there. To fly to the sword, take in the power pooling around the fissure, power that had not been seen on the surface of Azeroth in 10,000 years. He could end it all, the faction wars, he could put a stop to the fighting right here and now and - no. No no no no.As noble as that action may sound, he would not become the next Azshara. The next Murozond, the next Sargeras. He would continue to work on healing the world, on convincing as many champions from the war against the Legion as he could to use their abilities to stop the essence of Azeroth from being consumed.It would take a lot of work to convince the many neutral races and groups on Azeroth to fully commit to one side. Not even all Goblins were Horde, not all Pandaren had chosen one side or the either.And he, would never, EVER, call himself a hero of the Alliance ever again. A part of him wished Stormwind would take that foolish statue of himself down. Khadgar shook his head to get his thoughts back on track. The fighting was closer now. With a quick ruffle and shake, he flew off in the direction of Silithis to converse with Magni. The likelihood of him being recognized in these woods was….slim. But the likelihood of him being attacked for looking like some sort of Druid spy was higher. At least until he shifted back. But still, Horde would see his presence as a threat, Alliance would see it as a betrayal for not saving Darnassus. The warmth from the flames lingered on his wings for quite a while before he entered the warmth of the sun and air that was still fresh and unaffected by the blaze. The sword of Sargeras already in his eyesight although it was still hundreds of miles away. His feathers almost looked as though they had begun to grey from age due to the stubborn ash that clung to his black feathers despite him being airborne. What was the future that Time had seen? What destiny was written in the stars? Why had Elune turned away that day, what whispers were waiting in the tides? There was something amiss as Azeroth bled, something was fanning the flames. Was the Scourge on the move? Was the Black Empire returning?  Had the Titans decided that despite everything, the people of Azeroth had to learn the price of defeating their constructs in Ulduar to preserve this world as it was? Who else was benefitting from the leaking Azurite? Could it restore enemies long defeated? Too late, too late, Khadgar cawed in fear. Too late, his heart cried. He knew that the answers he sought would come too late. For neither faction loved the world they were fighting over.

[wowerehouse]

Lady | Part II

[Part I]

It was their only option in the end.

The drake--she had yet to give them a name, and Kemm was drawing conclusions as to whether the animals in the Twilight’s Hammer had ever given her one, so he’d taken to calling her Lady and she didn’t seem to object--was exhausted. She’d worn herself to the bone just getting here; going any further required more than she had left. She’d gathered the few surviving whelplings under her wing and curled her thin tail tight around them, and listened to Kem and Vaz debate what in the world they were meant to do with four Twilight whelps and a near-adult drake.

The whelps were the main issue. When it came down to it, the Lady herself could run her own risks. Alone in the world with Deathwing’s cult after her she would be killed or worse; but she could stay under Kemm’s protection, do her best in the wild, or beg asylum from any faction she chose, and take her chances. Even a young drake could defend itself.

But the whelps they’d learned were her younger siblings...too much history. Too many terrible things had been done to captive dragon hatchlings in the past.

Under Thrall, the choice would have been obvious. But not now. Not in Hellscream’s Horde.

Vaz in desperation had suggested involving her cousin. Kemm saw Ihz at best once every other year, but she wasn’t an illogical choice of ally. She was fiercely possessive of her mule train’s independence, but contracted with Orgrimmar; their best chance might well have been to smuggle the whelplings through the capital, and get them to someone trustworthy.

Vaz had suggested Nighthaven. Kemm had said Theramore. Or maybe Silvermoon, where they might find protectors sympathetic to a condition requiring them to survive off a source of magic…

But Lady would not surrender the hatchlings to mortal strangers, nor risk a lightly-armed and nearly unprotected transport across so much space. Ihz wasn’t unguarded; her mount was combat-trained, she rode with a horsebow and holdout crossbow, her protection dog was the gold standard in the field.

And absolutely none of that would matter to the Twilight’s Hammer. Even if Lady was willing to hand over the only family she had managed to bring out of slavery, it couldn’t be risked. It wouldn’t be fair to Lady, to the hatchlings, or to Ihz.

A smuggling run had still been necessary. They’d boarded Kemm’s cat and Vazkri’s snakes with a stablemaster, waited until it was just past three in the morning in Durotar, bribed a mage for a portal to Orgrimmar out of sight of camp; Lady’s presence at his shoulder had kept him silent once he realized what it was for.

Send Vaz in first. A druid could have a profoundly soothing aura when they wanted to. It was late and the portal chamber’s guards were tired and she was pretty; they didn’t have time to raise an alarm before being gagged with tangling vines.

They’d live. They wouldn’t remember anything, not after the goblin moonshine Kemm had poured down their throats. But they’d live.

Kemm had carried a backpack of illegal dragons. The whelplings had been soothed into a deep druidic sleep; if they made noise in Orgrimmar, they were all dead. Lady had turned the moment they were through the portal; before Kemm or Vazkri could react the drake had bared her teeth and rent the portal to pieces, the mage crying out in pain and collapsing on the other side.

A hard look had dared them to protest. They hadn’t. After a moment, Lady had dipped her head, phased half out of existence, and launched herself into the air through the ceiling of the portal chamber.

The Northrend zeppelin was one of the most nerve-wracking experiences of Kemm’s life, which was saying something. The redeye shipment flight bought them some privacy, but not much; it was a long, stressful game of keep-away to hide the whelps and keep them alive. The paltry arcane energy ripped from a mortal spellcaster--not even enough to kill him--was negligible; but Lady, phasing through the belly of the zeppelin, curled around her little siblings and let them draw the pathetic meal from her. If it caused her pain, she didn’t show it.

Vaz grimly referred to her near-constant applications of sleep spells as a medically-induced coma, and that wasn’t far from the truth. The magical infusions sustained the whelps, barely; keeping them quiet meant the difference between life and death; and with their metabolism slowed by sleep, they had a chance.

On the last night, just out of sight of Northrend, they fled the zeppelin. With Vaz in the form of a bat navigating them through thick fog, they vanished off the zeppelin and flew hard for the Dragonblight.

And now Kemm and a Twilight Dragon sat in the snow together, holding a bag of starving whelplings, waiting for Vazkri to find them.

Well, of course they’d sent Vaz ahead. She was their diplomat, for one thing. The one who could talk well, the one who could smooth ruffled feathers, grease wheels, flatter in one instance and give frank honesty the next. Kemm was a good communicator, when he could sit down and focus; but that wasn’t quite the same thing.

What was he meant to do, show up at Wyrmrest Temple with an ex-cultist dragon and ask nicely to be let in? He was cold, but he wasn’t that eager for the Reds to warm him up.

A high squeak, a rush of air, and a low thump on the snow announced Vaz’s return.

For once, there was no self-assured calm in her bearing. Her shoulders were tense, long white braid loose as she shook her hair out with a twitch.

“I told them I have a friend seeking asylum,” she told Kemm quietly. “And wounded dragons in need of help. She’ll receive us, but they wouldn’t make promises with so little information. It’s the best I could do,” she added to Lady. “It’s better than being killed on sight, anyway.”

Lady’s low moan wasn’t disagreement, but Kemm shifted so that she could see the whelplings better all the same.

He placed a hand on her neck. “Let’s go.”

The guard at Wyrmrest Temple was less than happy.

They’d kept their word; while the dragons in the sky had tripled in both number and imposing levels of muscle in the five minutes since the petitioners had been spotted, none of them tried to attack. A quarter of a mile out, Lady jerked her head to motion Kemm onto her back and Vaz into the air again. What seemed like half the Ruby Dragonflight surrounded them the instant they were airborne, but Lady and her retinue were allowed to land at the temple summit.

And that was all they were allowed to do.

“Stand down, Torastrasza.” The wall of snarling crimson blocking their path to the inner chamber clearly didn’t intend to do anything of the kind; but her queen had spoken, and after a moment the dragon pulled back.

She wasn’t alone. The guard and attendants ringing the spire were ominously silent, but eyes bored into Lady from all sides. Kemm was careful to keep his hands around the whelpling bag, where the dragonflights could see them. The majordomo’s threat hadn’t been necessary. If he thought about his weapon too loudly here, if Lady sneezed, if Vaz twitched a finger in anything that even looked like spellcasting, they would be smears of ash long before the dragonqueen could even consider reining in her children.

And that was assuming she’d try.

Wings pinned tight to her sides, Lady did her best to hide behind Kemm and block the whelplings with her body at the same time.

Kemm caught a flare of fire out of the corner of his eye and glanced aside, meeting the coldly murderous gaze of a red dragon tracking him, specifically. That...was understandable, he realized with a sinking feeling as he slipped from Lady’s back. 

He’d been so worried about the whelps that he hadn’t quite considered what it would look like, a faintly green-skinned orc, showing up with a large sword, astride one of Deathwing’s personal creations. Citing the pain of watching children die, while intentionally obscuring the truth in order to get close to Alexstrasza….

Oh, he was glad Vaz was here. He was very, very glad Vaz was here. Opening his mouth right now would absolutely not end well.

“Queen Alexstrasza,” Vaz murmured with a low bow.

“Hello again, Vazkri.” She didn’t sound angry, Kemm thought with a spark of hope. She didn’t sound happy either, but that was fair. “I don’t appreciate the use of deception.” She paused. “But you asked for trust. We will hear you.”

“I assure you, my lady, we are here in good faith.”

A low chorus of growls echoed across Dragonblight. Kemm thought calm thoughts increasingly hysterically.

Calmly, clearly, Vaz got the Queen of the Dragons up to speed. She condensed as much as she could, at first; then, when the bones were laid out, she repeated Kemm’s initial conversation with Lady nearly word for word. The young drake’s story had been enough to convince them; but they’d heard it from her own throat, seen the desperation.

It couldn’t be replicated. Her words would have to be enough.

“There was nowhere we could send them,” Vaz finished. “They need magic, they need care beyond what I can give. They need dragons, to teach them what to become and how. There was no one capable of protecting them, and no one we trusted not to…” She hesitated; Kemm worried that it would be obvious the pause wasn’t entirely organic, but then, it wasn’t feigned either. “Whelplings are not weapons.”

For the first time, something like faith flickered in the dragonqueen’s eyes.

“My queen.” Vaz took half a step forward, almost but not quite reaching out. “You’re our only hope. We can’t save them.”

Kemm’s heart was in his throat; but he had a more immediate problem regarding the whelplings. Starving and suddenly surrounded by dragons radiating powerful magic, they were half-delirious, stronger than they’d ever been, and absolutely determined to get closer to the source. And he was attempting to contain four of them in a rucksack without moving.

Lady’s head appeared under his arm in time to catch one escaping whelp on her nose; a shake of the bag toppled another back into the depths, and Kemm snagged a third’s tail between his teeth. Vaz, without blinking, reached behind her and caught the last mid-tumble, bringing it up into her arms like she was petting a cat and had intended the maneuver all along.

Kemm was very glad Vaz was here.

“You realize,” said Alexstrasza after a long silence, “I have no proof but your word that this is not a hideously transparent form of treachery.”

“I know. We have nothing else to offer.” Vaz glanced back at Kemm before she continued. “I would have killed them all, and justified it. Kemm’s mercy is the only thing that stopped me, and I think there are maybe twelve like him in all of Azeroth. Deathwing’s cult wants them slaves, and the rest of us want them culled because they might betray us.”

Alexstrasza regarded her evenly. “It is a cruel thing you force me to do, druid. It violates my very nature to order the deaths of children. And yet, to take them under my wing could place all life in danger. These whelps will be dragons someday, with unnatural and deadly abilities. Should we grant them sanctuary on false pretenses...”

Vaz gave a shallow bow. “And that may not be a risk you can justify taking. We knew that, when we came to you. But there was no better chance.”

For a moment, the dragonqueen’s eyes closed.

“If Neltharion’s madness must force us into the slaughter of children,” she said, “then the least I can do is look them in the eye.”

Kemm felt Lady flinch closer against his back, the low whine of fear trapped in her chest.

Like raptors, every dragon’s eyes snapped to the movement. Lady cast a wary look around the chamber. The full council was, thankfully, not present, meaning the vast majority of the space was filled with bristling red dragons; but there was a generous scattering of blues with arcane power swirling in their eyes, one or two pairs of bronze wings, even a green.

For the first time, the dragonqueen acknowledged her presence.

“You were brave to come here, young one.” Her voice was all warmth and hearthfire, but Lady didn’t relax. “Do you have a name, other than the one these mortals have given you?”

Lady’s eyes dropped to the stone floor. At first it seemed she wouldn’t answer; then, she rasped, “Devion.”

Alexstrasza inclined her head. “You did nothing to deserve the pain you have suffered. Do not mistake me, Devion. That a son of the Twilight Dragonflight has returned to us is cause for joy.”

Kemm opened his mouth, then closed it quickly as the whelpling whose tail was between his teeth perked up and made a lunge for freedom toward its older sister.

Ah...brother, apparently. Oops.

Lady--Devion?--had been surrounded by newborn whelplings and a single broken eggshell, it had been a reasonable guess...Kemm made a mental note to be more careful about assumptions.

Alexstrasza was still gazing mournfully at...well, the young drake hadn’t wanted Kemm to know his name, so Kemm was going to keep calling him Lady for the time being. “I will always fight to give life a chance,” she said. “But with the world at stake, you and your siblings may be a risk we cannot take. If there were a way to be any more certain that your friend is anything but a Twilight cultist, that you were not sent here…”

“Deathwing’s cult uses twisted magic,” murmured a blue dragon. “Honesty and courage mean nothing to them. You might be sleeper agents and never know it, not until it was too late.”

“Well, that’s not true.”

There was a brief moment of bewilderment as the assembled dragons tried to find the source of that comment. Alexstrasza glanced over without needing to search, and Kemm wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or more worried than ever when he followed her gaze to a wide-eyed little gnome, perched on the edge of a column and unnoticed until now in the crush of red scales.

She lowered her hands from her mouth and whispered, “Did I say that out loud?”

“Chronormu.” Alexstrasza greeted her with no apparent surprise. “I take it there’s no point in asking how long you’ve been there.”

The bronze dragon shrugged sheepishly. “I’ve been here. I mean, not the first time around, but it’s a pretty minor paradox all things considered.”

“Hey, Chromie,” Vaz added as an aside.

“Hey, Vaz.” Chromie’s wave was weary. “You’re giving me a really long day. And it’s just gonna get longer. Nice to see you again, Lady. Or, wait, is it Devion right now? Oh! You probably haven’t gotten there yet. Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out.”

Alexstrasza cleared her throat. “Is there something you know about the fate of these dragons?”

“Uh…” Chromie winced. “Well, there might be things I know…”

“That you can safely tell us,” Alexstrasza said kindly.

A dramatic sigh of relief. “I think it matters that you make this decision yourself, Aspect. Um...sorry.”

Alexstrasza rubbed two fingers against her temple, briefly. “Thank you, Timekeeper. Not unwitting sleeper agents, then.”

Thank you, Chromie, for that suspiciously specific reassurance, Kemm tried not to think too loudly. Now they definitely don’t think we’re lying.

Nothing had changed. The decision still lay with the queen, and she seemed to be trying to talk herself into killing them all. If she were about to show mercy, there wouldn’t be such pain in her eyes.

Lady wasn’t stupid. She’d picked up on it too.

Taloned paws visibly shaking, she stepped forward once, then again; beside the powerful ruby guardians it was heartbreakingly obvious how thin she was, how unbelievably young. Kemm had been in houses smaller than her, but Torastrasza alone could gut the drake with a single claw.

Still, head ducked, trembling from wingtip to tail, she crept forward and placed herself between Alexstrasza and her little brothers.

A ripple of tension circled the room. Slowly, Lady planted her feet, lowered her head nearly to the ground to defend her throat, and flared her wings. Azure and amethyst light raced along black wings like the northern aurora, with her eyes locked on Alexstrasza. Defiance, even as she shook in fear. Ritual display, a call to duel. A challenge.

She swallowed, took half a step forward, shrank back again.

“Please,” she managed.

Just for a moment, the queen’s eyes softened.

Vaz would never have another chance. She stepped forward and spoke. “Alexstrasza,” she said, pleading in her voice that Kemm knew, this time, was entirely real. A red eyebrow lifted at her presumption, but there was no interruption. “If the Life-Binder herself doesn’t think their lives are worth the risk, what hope is there for any of us?”

Silence rang through the Temple. Finally, Alexstrasza’s eyes slid from Lady’s face to the whelp between her front paws.

“Life will blossom from the darkest soil,” she murmured.

Rather than go near the sharp teeth and talons, she wound her wrist around its faintly glowing tail and plucked the whelp into the air. Lady hissed; but the whelp seemed unharmed, if indignant. It swiped angrily at the air as the Life-Binder turned it over in her hands with brisk but gentle precision.

The whelp gave a squawk that was likely intended to be a ferocious roar, and Alexstrasza looked Lady in the eye.

“How many did you bring out from the whelping cavern?”

Lady drew her head up and looked back evenly. “Thirteen.”

Even some of the watchful ruby guardians had the decency to look pained at that. Alexstrasza herself inclined her head in the face of the young drake’s grief.

“To bring yourself from that place alive was nearly impossible,” she said, voice warm and gentle, and Kemm began to think for the first time that this might work. “To bring even a single newborn--to even attempt it--is a triumph in the defense of life. You--”

That was when the whelp, wild with the relief of feeding, stronger than it had been in its life and apoplectic with rage at being restrained, twisted free and buried cursed fangs to the hilt in the Life-Binder’s arm.

Wyrmrest itself lurched forward, flames springing to life in a ring--

And Alexstrasza’s lips twitched as she regarded the whelp.

“I have the deepest gratitude for your loyalty,” she said drily, placing gentle pressure on the back of the whelp’s skull until its jaws loosened against its will and plucking it from her arm.  “But your queen does not yet require defending from assassins whose wings are still wet.”

The whelp clawed at her; with an expert’s nonchalance, she gripped it by the scruff and sent it a firm look.

After a great deal of glares and petulant tail-lashing, the whelp slumped in her grip.

“Better,” she informed it. Then, with a small smile for Lady, she added, “This one has twice Wrathion’s common sense, if five times his aggression.” A shadow passed her face. “But then, he has suffered as the Black Prince did not.”

“Don’t discount Wrathion’s suffering,” Vaz said quietly. She was acknowledged with a brief look, and Alexstrasza turned back to the whelp in her hands. Satisfied with its sulking, she gripped it under the belly and handed it over to Lady.

“Fold your wings, Devion,” she commanded. “You have no enemies here.”

Crimson wings started to spread ominously as Lady inched toward Alexstrasza; but when she only took the whelp between her teeth and stepped back, the watching dragons relaxed.

Alexstrasza gestured toward the four whelps. “You, young one, can make your own decisions; but your druid friend spoke truly. You have been father, mother, and sibling to them for too long; it is time for you to rest. The question then becomes, what are we to do with these little ones? I will take them into my own care, but I fear it may not be in their best interests.”

“We agree that anything short of the protection of a dragonflight is inadequate,” Vaz began.

“Yes.” The queen looked troubled; but thoughtful, now, rather than pained. Kemm started to relax. “And yet, there are dangers. Imagine the destruction a rogue twilight dragon could cause, set loose in the Emerald Dream. Or the temptations of the Nexus, which have corrupted those far less dependent on its power. I would not set them up to fail.”

Chromie coughed loudly.

“...I think I swallowed a bug,” she said, extraordinarily unconvincing when Alexstrasza sent her a wry look.

“Thoughts, Chronormu?”

“Well,” Chromie mused. “The most harm they could do in our nursery is leeching energy from the timestream, which is self-perpetuating.” She blinked. “Or...prematurely founding the Infinite Dragonflight. One or the other. Hmm...well, that’s not canon...eh. I’ll take those odds. I have a feeling that sometime in the...well, the past, but...the future? Oh, I don’t like this...we might be glad to have at least one Keeper of Time who can drain magical power from her enemies. Uh...his. Or his.”

“Very subtle,” Vaz praised her.

“Thank you! I try.”

Lady gave a warning growl, and Kemm stepped forward to place a hand on her wing.

“They’re not weapons,” he reminded them.

Alexstrasza smiled at him. “Of course not,” she agreed. “But they may be warriors someday. And it is very true what Chronormu says; they would be a credit to their flight, if they chose to stand against the Infinites.”

The young green dragon stirred. “Or the Nightmare,” she said slowly.

Suddenly the piercing consideration of the Wyrmrest guard was less wary than interested. A blue dragon cocked his head to get a better look. “I agree it would be dangerous for too young a whelp,” he said. “But draining powerful artifacts to a safe level for handling is one of our deadliest tasks. A member of the blue dragonflight who could do it safely, without even having to try…”

Alexstrasza, seeing the way Lady was drawing the whelplings under him for protection, raised a hand and ordered peace.

“These young ones are not gems to squabble over,” she chided the room. “For now, the bronze dragonflight is best able to protect them. The whelplings will have access to mystical energies that will neither overwhelm them, nor require them to drain a living source before they have learned restraint. And Nozdormu’s flight has a great deal of experience in successfully defending their young against incursions.”

“Do we ever,” Chromie muttered under her breath.

“When they have grown into young drakes,” Alexstrasza continued with a fond glance at Chromie, “then they, too, will be able to make their own decisions. It appears they will have no end of opportunity.”

Kemm couldn’t help but grin. An hour ago, no dragonflight worth the name had wanted anything to do with the whelps.

“And what of you, young one?” The Life-Binder waved a hand, encompassing the temple. “You may see your siblings as often or as little as you wish; but look to yourself, now, Devion. You have done enough. Rest. Heal. Come home. What that means is your choice.”

Devion looked around, shuffling iridescent wings as the Temple waited. He looked back at Kemm, uncertain, and Kemm squeezed his flank in support.

“I think,” he said slowly. “I think...for now...I prefer Lady.”

[azerothian-histories]

Interview #041

Interviewee: War Dancer Zul’Jawa, High Emissary of the Darkspear Tribe

Subject: The Darkspear Rebellion

Interview conducted by Apprentice Tanseril Sunsinger at the Shrine of Two Moons, Pandaria.

[Tanseril]: Interview with War Dancer Zul'jawa, High Emissary of the Darkspear Tribe.  Conducted by Apprentice Tanseril Sunsinger.

Can you begin by telling me a little bit about your personal background?

[Zul'Jawa]: Of course. I was born on the Darkspear Isles, as most the tribe was, on a tiny spit o' sand assailed by storms an' swallowed now by the tides.

My greatfather, a War Dancer before me, instructed me in his martial art, which became my callin', of sorts. As well, growin' up, I served my tribe through service as a scribe. Sort of... what got me started on the diplomatic pat' I be walkin' now.

I was inspired to serve the Horde, as well, by none otha' than Vol'jin. The Horde had saved our people, I couldn't do anythin' less than dedicate myself to their cause. Wit' my skillset, I lended my skills to an elite wing o' de Horde's military.

That elite wing... bein' de Kor'kron.

[Tanseril]: So you worked directly with the Kor'kron legion?  In what role?

[Zul'Jawa]: Yes. For almost five years. Believe it or not, I lied about my age jus' to enlist. Worked my way up de ranks, firs' as a grunt, eventually into a specialty role. By de end o' my career in de Kor'kron, I was a Sergeant, an' a few otha' titles that only really mean much to otha' fellow an' former service members.

Got some dogtags 'ere... don't wear 'em anymore. Ya might be able to piece togetha' why already.

[Tanseril]: Can you explain the Kor'kron legion from your point of view?  What where they like when you were serving with them?

[Zul'Jawa]: Good question. Truly.

I was... fortunate enough to serve alongside some o' de best o' the best that the Horde had to offer. Not jus' orcs, mind ya. Souls from all reaches an' spots on Azerot'.

Many of them were truly good. Honourable, valourous. Fought for the cause we perceived to be right, an' in defense o' our homelands an' the collective good.

But there was certainly an... undesirable element. Insidious. Supremacist. Who craved domination an' subjugation. I didn't take notice... maybe I jus' didn't want to notice... until it was too late.

Some, who joined me in rebellion, remain my friends to this day. Some... I pray to neva' see again. In this world, in the one below, or in my nightmares.

[Tanseril]: And what was your opinion of Warchief Garrosh Hellscream during this time?

[Zul'Jawa]: I hadn't decided. I tried to be optimistic. Maybe... maybe he was a source o' strength, one the Horde undeniably needed in tryin' times.

His... mak'gora... wit' Cairne Bloodhoof... certainly changed my perspective. Found myself questionin' the Horde's every action. The Kor'kron's every movement.

[Tanseril]: You mentioned you didn't take notice of the insidious element until it was too late.  What marked 'too late' for you?

[Zul'Jawa]: That revelation came when I awoke to find out the Kor'kron were occupyin' the Echo Isles. My home.

I was in Pandaria, at the time. Possibly even in the Vale, right 'ere. When I returned to Kalimdor... everythin' was different.

Few o' my brothers an' sisters knew it was wrong. They submitted their resignations.

My... resignation... came in the form of obsidian arrows fired their way.

From that day on... I wasn't a War Dancer. Not a scribe, not much of anythin' other than a revolutionary.

[Tanseril]: Do you know of any retaliation taken against the other Kor'kron who had resigned more uh...traditionally?

[Zul'Jawa]: Mmn... yeah. A few were jailed. Insubordination. Violation o' military protocols, goin' A.W.O.L. But I don't know all too much about that. I didn't step foot in Orgrimmar again until the day the Siege finally broke through an' the gates came down.

But... hah... I suppose we'll get to that.

[Tanseril]: Indeed.  So after your personal confrontation, what did you do next?  Where did you go?

[Zul'Jawa]: The only place I could go. Home. No military occupation could stop me from gettin' back. If not for nothin' else, for my motha'.

Once there, I was able to link up wit' otha' Darkspear loyalists. We started to set the foundations in place for the revolution, which got into full swing once Vol'jin arrived to run the whole show. Brave mon. Miss him endlessly.

But, personally... myself an' otha's got to work on evacuatin' civilians, engagin' in sabotage an' subterfuge. Skirmishes, when pressed to. It was difficult to fight against the Kor'kron. At least, until we got the support o' everyone else.

More difficult for myself than most, I suppose. But we all had our difficulties. We all managed.

[Tanseril]: So you were with the rebellion from its very inception?  What was morale like in those early days?  Did it change when Vol'jin returned?

[Zul'Jawa]: One o' de first.

Morale was... about as poor as you could expect. We Darkspear barely eva' even had a home, an' it was taken away. By our brothers, by those we trusted most. We had nothin'.

When Vol'jin returned, spirits be praised, it was as if de skies parted, an' de tides of war changed. He ain't jus' an inspirin' figure, he's a strategic genius. He whooped our sorry hides into shape an' guided us.

Still. Even wit' him, an' even wit' the entire Horde behind us... was tough, girl. Darkest time in our history. An' that history is filled wit' a lot of dark times.

[Tanseril]: Did you ever speak to Vol'jin about the assassination attempt?

[Zul'Jawa]: Not personally. But I was wit' a number of otha's when he recanted his experience there.

But... 'Darkspear neva' die'... it be more than jus' a mantra. It became a bit of a rallyin' cry.

[Tanseril]: I'd like to ask you about the siege of Orgrimmar, but is there anything else of note that you'd like to speak about before we move on?  A particular conflict or event?

[Zul'Jawa]: It's... difficult to describe, exactly. Before the Siege, there weren't many... pivotal, particular moments that stood out. It was sustained guerrilla warfare against an enemy that had, for so long, been an ally. That... that be diff'rent.

Everythin' was jus' a blur. Across Durotar, across the Barrens. Disruptin' caravan movements, blowin' up oil rigs, fightin'... fightin'... fightin'.

I've fought quite a bit. More than my fair share, more than most my age. But it was horrible. An' it seemed wit'out end. But we whittled down their forces. Cut off their supplies. Interred them in Orgrimmar.

In my time in de Kor'kron, they took to callin' me the Black Arrow. Wasn't for nothin'.

Came to use these arrows against 'em. Knew their armour. Knew its weak points.

[Tanseril]: To your recollection, when did the Alliance get involved in the revolutionary efforts?

[Zul'Jawa]: Nnh... believe it or not, this, too, helped put me on my diplomatic pat'. Let Vol'jin see that I could be an accomplished emissary.

To their credit... they didn't leave us to die. They arrived when we'd established a base o' operations at Razor Hill. Mostly adventurers. Then they started pourin' in.

Maybe it was opportunistic... to take down the Horde from within. But I tell ya, I ain't neva' been as happy, as relieved, to see blue an' gold as I was then.

Their actions, that day, made me desire peace between our peoples. A peace... a peace I ain't neva' stopped fightin' for since. An' I haven't raised a blade against the Alliance since that day, as well.

I'd rather be a peacemaker than a warbringer any day.

[Tanseril]: Can you walk me through the beginning of the siege?  Preparations, skirmishes, meetings with the alliance army - really anything that sticks out to you.

[Zul'Jawa]: More logistics than I eva' thought I'd need to concern myself wit'. Blockades made resupplies from the seas difficult, an' the Echo Isles had no such port to accommodate anythin', even when we'd liberated them. For the second time in its history, mind you.

Kodos. Spirits be praised... those beasts are unsung heroes.

The tauren brought them from Mulgore, an' they carried the brunt of all our supplies an' pulled our siege weapons right up towards the Dranosh'ar Blockade.

There was... a real sense of unity, o' camaraderie, between all us. Made friendships wit' tauren, elves, goblins, humans, draenei, all walks o' life were well-represented in de Rebellion, I swear to ya.

But it did reflect a weakness on our part. On the Darkspear's part. We were hopelessly... hilariously... unprepared for somethin' like this. We had little in the means o' siege weaponry, o' war machines.

Glad to say we've righted our course since then. Darkspear shipwrights an' engineers be as respected now as shadow hunters an' witch doctors. But we could've used more of all o' them back then.

[Tanseril]: How did the siege begin?

[Zul'Jawa]: When we were certain we were as prepared as we could be... we began a two-pronged assault. To disrupt forces at the gates, an' to seize the docks at Bladefist Bay, so that the forsaken, sin'dorei, an' Alliance navies could lend aid.

I... I was at the gates.

The Iron Juggernaut... what a wretched, wicked machine. An instrument o' death shaped to resemble a scorpid. Took down far too many of us.

We held it off, at least long enough for the docks to be liberated. Then, reinforcements from the east. Zaela an' her Dragonmaw taken down, we all focused on that hunk o' metal.

Then, the gates fell.

I sustained a few too many injuries against the Juggernaut; I didn't see much action beyond that day. My regeneration had me up on my feet an' tendin' to the rest o' the wounded soon.

Fewer came back than we expected. But more an' more reinforcements funneled into Orgrimmar. Into the depths o' Garrosh's lair. Only then would we enter the rest o' the city. Discover what else he'd been up to.

...too many bodies. Too many atrocities. I wish he'd been put to the sword, then an' there. None o' de fiasco wit' the trial. But... alas.

[Tanseril]: Where were you when Garrosh was apprehended?

[Zul'Jawa]: At the back o' the frontlines. Like I said, tendin' to the wounded. I wasn't a medic. By any stretch. My medical trainin', wouldn't ya believe, actually came from my time wit' the Kor'kron.

Dumb bastards taught me everything I'd use against 'em.

Most everything. My greatfatha' was watchin' over me, I like to think. War Dance still had its uses.

When did you hear of what happened after the battle?  That Vol'jin had been appointed warchief, and the confrontation between him and King Wrynn.

It took some time for the word to reach us. There was much rejoicin'. Ya ain't neva' heard drums bein' played that loud before.

O' course, most of us wanted him dead. But the pandaren had suffered more at his hands than even we had... they had the right. I've spoken wit' Taran Zhu since that day. I unda'stand why.

Wit' Vol'jin as Warchief... now that's anotha' story. We were... overjoyed. Humbled. Grateful. Determined.

Most of us. I was... shaken, to my core. More than most. For the longest time after, even when most my people were celebratin', rebuildin', I... was alone. Numb. I'd lost my purpose. Didn't see much point in livin' after.

[Tanseril]: What changed that for you?

[Zul'Jawa]: It be a bit of a departure from the rebellion, but... heh... if you'll oblige me...

I was not in a good place. Any medic wort' a damn would've diagnosed me wit' post-traumatic stress disorder. I left everythin' an' everyone. I'd been betrayed, I'd spent months on end fightin' war after war wit' no end in sight. I'd lost purpose.

An' I remember standin' over the ashen cliffs o' Durotar, lookin' over the waters. Sacrificial blade in my hands. Ready to put an end to it all.

By the grace o' de loa, a passin' pandaren took notice o' me. A War-Philosopher, a monk employed by the Shado-Pan.

He took notice. He tried to talk me out of it. I tried to take him on.

He whooped my ass. Took my blade. An' told me... if I had no purpose to live... to offer my life, in service to his, for a hundred days. No more, no less. An' he would give me purpose, for those hundred days.

If, at the end o' those days, I still had nothin'... he'd give me back the blade an' wouldn't stand in my way.

He became my mentor, an' what's more, my friend. Over the span of a hundred days, he taught me a hundred lessons. By the end... I'd found purpose again. An' returned to my tribe.

Vol'jin welcomed me back, bless his soul. An' he appointed me as the High Emissary o' the Darkspear Tribe.

[Tanseril]: Did Vol'jin ever speak to you again, publicly or privately, about the rebellion or the siege?

[Zul'Jawa]: Oh, yes. Definitely. Lessons learned, difficulties experienced. It was damn near a reformation o' the entire tribe, wit' our efforts, wit' our restructurin'.

Neva' again would somethin' like that divide us. Neva' again would somethin' break us.

He focused tremendous efforts on buildin' our strength back up. Reconstruction projects, as well as restitution. Makin' amends. Makin' peace.

I pushed for peace wit' the Alliance in the aftermath. The esteemed High Warlord Volrath saw t'ings differently. But what transpired in Ashran is... worlds away, an'... a diff'rent story altogetha', I suppose.

[Tanseril]: And what happened to the Kor'kron after Hellscream's defeat?

[Zul'Jawa]: As its own entity, as the oft-hailed 'Right Arm o' de Warchief'... not anymore. The Siame-Quashi largely took that role. Spears o' Vol'jin, too.

The Kor'kron Legion survived through the actions o' those who revolted against Garrosh. Still a few around.

[Tanseril]: Is there anything else you'd like to say on the record?  Any other experiences or events you'd like to discuss?

[Zul'Jawa]: It was a watershed moment for the Darkspear. Our entire tribe was forced into a crucible, into a war we didn't ask for.

I should hope that my testimony reflects how... a revolution, a guerrilla movement... it be more taxin' an' tollin' than any other sort of conflict. It scars the body, the mind, the spirit.

On the record... as High Emissary o' the Darkspear Tribe, still... it has proven difficult to rationalize a true connection to the Horde as a distinct entity since those days.

There are questions raised. Should one Warchief hold dominion ova' all? Should their actions conflict wit' de desires o' our tribe, or the tauren, or the sin'dorei, who is to say what is the correct course of action?

I... I wish Vol'jin were still here. To help us formulate an answer to those questions.

The Darkspear Tribe is stronger than ever. I don't doubt for a single second he would be proud of us, of what we have done, of what we are doin'.

But I cannot say what he would think o' the Horde, in its present state o' affairs.

An' I hope nothin' like that eva' transpires again.

[Tanseril]: If that is all, war dancer, I think we can conclude our interview.

[Zul'Jawa]: I thank you, tremendously, for this opportunity.

((OOC Note:  All text attributed to Zul’Jawa was written by @thewardancer for the purposes of this interview.  I would like to thank him for being among the first to volunteer for this little project of mine!))