#there were like 15-ish assassination attempts on him

[mortau]

id just like to say the god of life planned out henris life before he was born and he was supposed to die at 11

and he just said no and killed his would-be murderer instead

and fate tried to overcorrect for 44 years until he took himself out

[herstarburststories]

Imagine working in the Manor, being Alfred's daughter and meeting Damian Wayne

Paring: Damian Wayne x Pennyworth!Reader

Request: heyo! I was wondering if I could please get a story of Damian (16-17 ish) falling in love with a girl who works at the manor? Like a gardener or cleaner or cook or something? Thanks in advance 💖

A/N: This is longer than I expected, so was this ask on my askbox. BUT WE GOT TO IT! And yes, it's Alfred's daughter and she's the same age as Damian. Batfam men and their fertility, am I right?

Warning: there's no specific Damian age, although I picture him during his 14/15 years, first love and all that. There won't be any nsfw here.

☆

Damian Wayne had always been precocious, collecting fatal abilities as a kid his age would gather toys. While others were busy running around and throwing tantrums at supermarkets at their parents, he knew more ways to assassinate an adult than he could count on his hands. All his life, Damian was shaped to be perfect, to have a mind corresponding to a body just as skilled and clever. He never double-crossed, he never fell.

The youngest Wayne knew more things at the age of an infant than most people at 80. Age never suited him well, not in the sense to show how sharp-witted he actually was, how much he knew, or believed he knew, about life.  

Yet, he never quite understood how to cooperate--deal with people. And unfortunately for Damian, sooner or later he'd figure out that people were everything. He didn't have time for that when he lived with his mother and grandfather. Actually, they never taught him he should make a room for friends and such. He was behind most people in such a stupid way when it came to this. 

He secretly hated that. As much as he had told Dick plenty of times that he didn't care about making acquaintances or how many times he rolled his eyes at Alfred's attempts to coax him into going out as Damian and not Robin, Damian still missed having someone to rely on. Perhaps he always did, there was always this little emptiness under his heart, craving to be filled like a sword begs for blood. He usually didn't think much, just trained or grabbed a book and sat down next to Ra's Al Ghul while he studied something, his grandad was always learning more. It was a silent, hours-long, durable activity. Although it wasn't what he needed, Damian pictured crumbs were better than no affection meal. So he stood there, learning a new language or more about Brazilian capoeira, or whatever new combat technique he could put his eyes on. But, nowadays he lived in a bigger and more lonely city, his dad was always out with Bruce Wayne or Batman business, Dick was back with the Titans and he didn't have his grandfather apparently was a trinary that didn't really care about his life and death, pretty much like his mom. 

He envied such coldness at times, wishing to have more of that blood and less than his dad's. 

Still, Damian might not know how to manage with people yet — always remarking, always keeping his walls up—, but he was the best with animals. They were so much simpler, and purer. The closest thing to holy on earth. Yet, they're defenseless but not harmless, he could do with such lethal fragility. 

He took pride in it; being able to communicate and understand animals like no other, caring so deeply for them and receiving that affection back. 

Therefore, Titus acting up was a little personal to him. 

Titus was a rescued dog that didn't trust people, not even Pennyworth could put his food down without receiving a threatening groan. But now there was a girl he had never seen before, sitting on the grass with his dog and acting like he was some exposition puppy. That was outrageous, to say the least. Disrespectful. 

Or maybe he was just jealous, not that he'd ever admit that. 

"Do you have meat?" He didn't bother greeting the stranger — as much as he knew, she could be breaking into the house to kidnap his dog. His question was laced with irritation, crossed arms as he glared at her. 

In his ego-fogged mind, that was the only explanation why Titus would be so fond of a foreign person. 

"I'm just good with dogs," you shrugged, turning around to face the rude questionator, your eyebrows knitting together as you studied his features. "And by your good mood, I suppose that you're Damian, right?"

He raised a single brow, "And you are?"

"Y/N Pennyworth." You stood up, patting your jeans to get rid of the grass stuck there. Titus whined as you let go of him, but quickly walked to his owner.

Damian was still glaring at you whilst he stroked behind Titus' ear, deciding to believe you or not. It was more unlikely, but then, so was his own parental situation. 

"Pennyworth?"

As usual, Alfred seemed to know the perfect timing to come along, as quiet as a sniper bullet. The butler glanced at you two. 

"Master Damian, I see that you've met Y/N."

He turned his head to the eldest man, "She says she's your relative, is that true?" 

"She is here!" You interjected, rolling your eyes at his childish behavior. This was the guy who didn't want to be treated like a kid? Please. It seemed only fitting. "And it's true, he's my dad."

"I didn't know you had a child." Robin continued to direct his words to Pennyworth, whom he believes to be more trustable at the moment. 

Your dad simply raised an eyebrow, just like Damian had done a couple seconds ago, and resorted: 

"I could say the same about your father, Master Damian." 

That seemed to shut him up. You couldn't decide if that was just your dad's power, the Pennyworth fatale comebacks, as you used to call them, or if it was the arrival of another figure to the scene that made the younger mean remain quiet.

You couldn't help the large smile appearing on your lips, nor the glow in your eyes when you saw him: Batman! Surely dressing Bruce Wayne, but he was The Batman! 

"Alfred," he was the Batman and he was speaking to your dad! "We have a guest?" and he acknowledged you! 

You attempted to breathe, hiding under the covers of composure. 

"Pennyworth's spawn." Damian answered. 

All your childish excitement was rapidly replaced by a burning rage. How dare him? To think you had a crush on Robin before meeting him, and now you just wanted to crush his face on the ground until it was as green as the grass. 

"What did you just call me?" your answer was just an eloquent 'tt'. "Filho da puta pretensioso."

"Da próxima vez que me xingar, tenha certeza de que é em uma língua que eu não conheço."

You weren't expecting him his comeback, or even him to know your language, at all. Most people who lived in America didn't care to learn about other languages, although they're always expecting people to know theirs all around the world. 

"Damian, come here." Bruce voiced his concern, meanwhile Alfred sent you a glare, and that was enough to make you behave. Batman simply leaned in and spoke in a calm voice, "She's Alfred's daughter, play nice."

"But father,"

"No, Damian. I'm serious, or you're not coming to patrol with me." he did not leave room for arguments, staring at his son for a sign that he had understood his commands. Damian huffed, and that was enough. "Good, not to mention that she's around your age, maybe you could use a friend." 

As Bruce pulled away, he murmured, "Like you have a bunch of friends."

He didn't turn around to answer, "You can be better than that."

"Tt."

The eldest Wayne walked towards you and your dad, his eyes only on you. You felt like you could die right there, at your idol's backyard. 

"It was nice to meet you...?"

"Y/N!" you answered as hustled as possible, even the Flash would be impressed. Did Batman know the Flash? Course he did! They had the justice league and... Alright, Y/N. Eyes on the prize. "It was nice to meet you too, Mister Wayne."

"Call me Bruce, please. Alfred is family." he placed his hand on your shoulder and squeezed gently, and just like that you were in the midst of squeaking. "I have to go now, but you're welcome at the Manor for as long as you wish. And you don't need to work on the garden."

"No, no. I love plants," Bruce lifted his brows and you could tell who he was thinking about. "Not in a sociopathic way, I just love plants. Besides, I want to make my own money, I'm excited to start working!"

"In that case, you better be as good as your dad made you seem."

You didn't have a doubt when it came to this."Oh I'm even better, Mister-- Bruce." 

He nodded at you, sparing a glance to your dad before he went away. You wondered if he was about to do Batman or Bruce business. 

"I'll prepare lunch, can I be sure you two will behave?" Alfred asked, mostly looking at Damian. 

"No promises, dad." you joked, receiving a stare. You grunted, "I promise." 

As he left, Damian instantly turned to look at you, seeming to analyze you. He clearly didn't trust you, even though his dad and Pennyworth did. Bruce had never once mentioned you existed, even though he knew that. Did the others know that too? Was he the only one in the dark again? 

There were many questions pounding his head, but Damian knew most of them couldn't be answered right now. Therefore, he restrained himself to one that could. And ironically, it was the curiosity that was nagging him the most. 

"Do you have powers?"

"What?" you blinked. 

"You looked like you could faint when you saw my father, and you don't look like the kind of person who cares about celebrities, so you must be a fan of Batman and not Bruce Wayne." he stated, looking completely unfazed. "So, I'll ask again, do you have powers?"

"You really know how to start a conversation, huh?" you teased him, but he didn't remark, just kept his eyes on you. You sighed, he was insufferable and very insisting. "Alright, I don't have powers."

"Then how did Titus allow you to--" 

Unbelievable. 

You interrupted him, "I'm good with animals, Damian."

Titus, who had been quiet during all this time, barked as if to agree with you. You smiled, kneeling on the grass again and patting your legs, calling the dog to come closer. Which he did just as soon, running to you and laying his head on your lap. 

Damian's features consorted in a grimace, he wasn't pleased at the slightest. But, detective work first. Titus's betrayal later. 

"Did Alfred know you existed?"

"Yes, I just lived with my mom. Gotham isn't really a kid friendly city." you explained mindlessly, paying more attention to the dog and stroking behind his ear. "Or any person friendly, actually."

"Who's your mom?" he asked. 

"Do you know how to talk to someone without starting an interrogatory?" you raised your eyes to meet his, yet he didn't show reaction. He just stood there, looking like a garden ornament. "Man, I hate riches. What about you tell me who's your mom? Some model?"

Damian didn't see a problem telling you the real story, after all, you clearly knew about Batman. And honestly? He wanted to bug you. 

"She's an League of Assassins member who tried to murder me and trained me to he a killer, alongside with my grandfather." he slaughtered his hands, as if such thing was the equivalent to normal. Your wide-eyed gaze and shock all over your body language was enough to make him right about his decision. A small grin appealed when he continued, "Your mom is...?"

"A model. Dad and her met years ago, and I was born." You shook your head, still processing what he said. Robin approached you and sat next to your frame, extending his hand to caress Titus as well. "She didn't try to kill me in my sleep—"

"I was awake, my mom has morals."

You rolled your eyes."But she wasn't much of a mom type, I guess." 

Damian nodded at it, seeming to understand what you were saying. Silence wrapped you two, as present as the sunlight on the garden and Titus heavy breathing before any person spoke again. It was a nice quiet space for a couple moments, but your hands touched in the middle of petting Titus and everyone knows what happens when hands dare to touch. It felt a little too intimate, and Damian pulled away as if the sun had come down to his garden and bit him. His cheeks felt too warm and he raised to he looked away, unsure of how to react to such docile touch.

Your hand was shaking a little, still stroking Titus, the dog whimpered at the lack of more attention, but didn't move away. You tilted your head to the side, decided to make the atmosphere change once more.

"Where's your Batcow?"

Damian's stunned face at your sudden and very specific question caused a giggle on you. He surely was an idiot, but maybe he wasn't a complete asshole. 

Continue?

( make it a 4 chapters fic leave it as an oneshot? )

Leave a comment and reblog. ♡

That's how I know you guys liked it and want more batboys content, and reblogs help to get this to more people. Plus, feedback is MAGIC!

[randomfandomnerd]

Roman Emperors (Triumvirate)

Warning : spoilers ahead for Trials of Apollo

Ok so I noticed a few things about the triumvirate that i wanted to share. (Long post alert)

The most obvious familial link (and the only one worth mentioning to be honest) is Caligula being Nero’s uncle. Nero was the son of Caligula’s sister Agrippina the Younger (named after their mother Agrippina the Elder, who Caligula hated and tried to deny he was the son of, possibly due to her putting him in boots which earned him the nickname Caligula (little boots)). This may be why Meg mentions the fact that Nero was afraid of the 3rd emperor (Caligula), however seeing as Nero was responsible for having his mother killed, it’s not likely as it gives them a common enemy.

Caligula having the west of America as his territory could be a nod to his attempts to expand the empire west, to Britannia (Britain).

Caligula appears to have been a decent ruler during the first 6 months of his rule, then he went totally bonkers and started the bloody reign which he is now best remembered for. Nero also, in his earlier period as emperor appears to have tried to set things right, before becoming a tyrant. As Pliny the Elder described him, Nero was a “poison”. As these two were so similar, it makes sense that Commodus is described by Rick as a sort of “buffer” in between the two, although he too was described as “not naturally wicked”, but driven by his simplicity and cowardice.

There was a rumor after Nero’s death known as the “Nero Redivivus legend.”. This theory was that Nero was not actually dead, but would return to destroy Rome. This theory was found in the Sibylline Oracles (which Ella memorised part of). Of course, in the Riordanverse, Nero turns out to have been living(ish) as a semi-deity. Seeing as he is in such a state due to being remembered so well, it could well be this legend that brought him back to (sort of) life.

Some think of Nero as the “antichrist” , which could refer to the Beasts in revelation in the Bible. Nero indeed tried to kill all the Christians and blamed them for the Great Fire of Rome (which is an interesting parallel to Hitler blaming the Communists for the Reichstag Fire. That’s not really connected to the Riordanverse, it’s just a noticeable thing I realised while writing this.) Anyway, that might be why Nero chooses for his evil alter-ego that torments Meg to be called the Beast.

.

Caligula also hated Christians.

The Armenian city of Artaxata was temporarily renamed Neroneia. This is a link to Commodus’ obsession of everywhere being named after him.

Caligula and Commodus were both assassinated (as were many emperors) by those who worked for them. In ToA it’s Apollo who kills Commodus himself. They were both killed as a result of being unpopular rulers. Nero supposedly committed suicide, although it was because he was afraid of being killed due to being unpopular with the Senate.

Obviously they all, during their reigns likened themselves to gods, in particular Apollo.

They were all fairly young when they came into power, with Caligula being 25, Nero being 16 and Commodus being 15 when he became co-emperor with his father, Marcus Aurelius and 18 when he became solo emperor. 

(idek why I did this. Idk why I do a lot of things. It was fun, I guess)

[pechebeche]

Hi! If you don't mind could you share with us some Shaun and Becca friendship content? I love your takes on the modern assassins!

if you reblog this please dont tag it as a ship! i am p fiercely defensive over my mlm/wlw solidarity duos

when shaun described discovering the templars i pretty instantly assumed it happened when he was like 14? ish? and frankly the idea of 15-year-old rebecca, pre-temporarily leaving the assassins to go into extreme sports and thus having no outlet, having to deal with 14-year-old shaun, Shaun But 14, is the funniest fucking thing i can possibly imagine so i refuse to give it up

we don't talk enough abt the fact rebecca is canonically a year and a half older than shaun. its one of my absolute fucking favorite facts. every time rebecca tells shaun to get off desmonds ass she's doing it as a big sister. a babysitter. a very low level camp counselor. how bitter do u think he is abt it

i like to think shaun is The Reason that rebecca went into extreme sports - not the reason she liked it, but the voice that said "you know if you dont WANT to be a fulltime assassin that's like. ok. and it was kinda shitty you were raised to think otherwise."

i actually generally think that rebecca being raised in the assassins, leaving, but still being sympathetic and coming back to do work when she has her injury is a really good counter, not just to shauns 'came into the assassins later and is still like 80% suspicious,' but also to desmonds 'raised in the assassins but despite agreeing with their ideals cant stand them on a Personal level' and lucys 'raised in the assassins but despite liking them on a Personal level not agreeing with their ideals.' i think between the four of them its nice to get like a neatly rounded set of views on the creed as an organization

rebecca makes a history of having one night stands with shauns ex-gfs. yes this is why he is so flustered when rebecca said she 'had lunch' with kate. it doesn't actually bother him its just that she GOSSIPS abt him when she does it and shaun is that john mulaney segment abt being cheated on

the one time shaun attempted to snowboard w rebecca he nearly broke his nose. they don't talk abt it

[economistadentata]

'The Whites Have Become Black' - David Starkey is a racist

Quite why David Starkey was on the Newsnight panel in the first place remains something of a mystery.  His specialism is the Tudor period, and whilst it might have been enlightening to hear him on the topic with regard to recent events, that’s not what we got.  Neither is he an authority on the history of London, ‘black British history’ or anything other possible research area that springs to mind as being faintly relevant.  One can only presume, sadly, that he was there for his ratings and his ability to ‘generate debate’.  In that at least he turned out to be an ideal booking.

Emily Maitlis asked David Starkey for his opinion on the causes of the riots-he responded by pointing out that as a historian, in one sense he couldn’t say what had caused events, as it was too soon to say.  I was actually quite taken with that response, and thought it spot on.  Then the other shoe dropped:

‘The whites have become black’

This statement assumes 2 things:  firstly that there are such things as ‘white’ and ‘black’ culture.  Secondly, that it was the assumption of ‘black culture’ by white people that has led to the lawlessness and abandonment of fellow feeling, expressed through the riots.

I used to visit my mother in South Africa during the eighties, and lived there for several years in the nineties.  I observed as a teenager & as an adult, the way in which people, sensing that flat-out racism was no longer a la mode, shall we say, would recast their views thus:

‘I’m not a racist.  I’m a racialist. I don’t think people are better than each other, they’re just different.  So why would someone from Khayelitsha want to live next door to me/go to my son’s school?’

I would put Starkey into this camp: A racist, but one who hides his racism under a veneer of ‘culture’. As he said ‘It’s not skin colour, it’s culture’.  He then associates black culture with the rioting on the streets- ‘It certainly glorifies it’.

Later on in the panel discussion, he quoted a text message sent by a girl caught up in the riots, delivered in a faux Jamaican patois.

Young people have always had their own slang/groupspeech.  Judging from my son and his friends, at the moment these consist of faux-Californian, faux-Italian (via Assassin’s Creed), text speak, faux-Essex and yes, faux-Jamaican.  But to suggest that one text message sent by one teenager proves anything, is well, ridiculous.

Which brings me onto the question of technology:  There has been has been much breathless commentary of the role of the Blackberry Messenger system in the riots, and in particular their spread over different districts of London.  Repeat after me-technology is never a cause of events.  It can enable people to act on their impulses, but can never cause them in the first place.  To suggest as some have, that BBM was a contributory cause, is like saying the trains delivering troops to the Belgian front caused the First World War.  After all, if technology was going to prevent crime, you’d have thought CCTV would have been of utility-and that has only enabled the police to do their job after the event.

Starkey, unprompted, brought up Enoch Powell’s ‘Rivers of blood’ speech.  Now, that speech isn’t just a speech, any more than Martin Luther King’s ‘I have a dream’ speech is just a speech.  It’s a signifier- or, in crude terms, a dog-whistle.  It says ‘I am about to talk about the impact of immigration in terms of race, even if I subsequently deny it.’ Which he duly did.

Later in the discussion, Starkey made reference to David Lammy, saying he ‘sounds white’.  What does actually mean?  Received pronunciation? Scouse?  Brummy?  Scots?  To follow  Starkey’s logic, you’d think he was saying that all whites sound alike, and therefore by extension, so do all blacks.  If that’s not racist I don’t know what is-but I suspect that if interrogated on that point, DS would attempt to move the discussion onto ‘culture’ as per the block quote above.

But Starkey in saying this of Lammy, revealed his true game:  not only to attribute much of the ills of society to the influence of ‘black’ culture on poor whites-but to simultaneously appropriate black Britons in positions of power to the white elite.  Lammy is acceptable, because he is like ‘us’.  

It’s at this point, that I need to answer the question: If not race, what did cause the riots?

Prima facie the criminality and wanton lack of self-restraint of individuals caused what had been a peaceful demonstration related to the shooting of Mark Duggan to mutate with frightening speed into what we saw.  But how did they get to that point?  

‘Shopping with violence’.  It sounds like something out ‘A Clockwork Orange’-but it remains one of the most penetrating observations of what happened I have heard.  For the last 30-odd years, and with increasing speed over the last 15, we as a society have been sold the idea, that we are what we possess.  To be is to consume, the more publicly the better.  Which would be fine (-ish), if everyone had the same access to the means of consumption.  They don’t-although there have been examples of ‘respectable’ (and isn’t that a loaded term in this context?) people caught up in the riots and looting, for the most part were young.  Young and poor.

Added to which is our society’s attitude to children and young people.  We don’t like them.  We say that they are their parents’ responsibility, whilst at the same time allowing capitalism, that provider of shiny things for all, to demand that its needs be attended to before we are allowed to meet those of our children.   We allow the press to routinely slag off single mothers, and by extension their children, as the root of many social ills.  But then we (or rather this government) say that to provide those parents with extra support to fulfil their social contract and their need to work, is to encourage fecklessness and family breakdown.  Idealised children, missing or even dead, gazing from the front pages of the tabloids, we like very much.  But actual children, especially needy, difficult, angry children we do not like at all.

Much has been written about ‘stop and search’ as it related to inter-racial tensions.  But young people, arguably, are the most discriminated-against group of all.  They can be moved on just for there being three of them gathered together.  We have transformed childhood from a time of discovery, to a time of Gradgrindian exams, which are then denigrated as being of less and less worth.  Mind you, given the surge in youth unemployment and the exploding cost of higher education, that won’t matter.  Even if young people jump over the hurdles we call essential, many will fall before crossing the finishing line. And they know it. 

David Starkey touched on none of this.  Instead he spoke about how ‘whites are becoming black’.  How a black MP ‘sounds white’. How black culture ‘glorifies’ street violence.  David Starkey is wrong.  David Starkey is a racist.

[cookinguptales]

update: lmao I am so fucking doped up right now. sorry to the world that I got behind on shimamatsu translations, but have you ever tried to translate while on muscle relaxants? it’s a bad scene. god, I’m in a lot of pain rn.

gonna talk about some of the movies from the film festival below the cut. doped up af but I’ve seen like 14 movies so far, hella. tomorrow I probably have to skip bc I just took two cyclos and that is gonna fuck me the hell up.

movies I’d recommend:

thelma a norwegian film which is basically a coming-of-age story for a fundie christian girl who goes to college and realizes she’s a lesbian. oh, and that she has insane supernatural powers. (it’s kind of carrie-ish but with canon f/f, but imo a lot better than carrie.) the love story is really interesting, if incredibly dark. like if you’re in the mood for dark, kind of mindfuck-y f/f, this is your film. despite the very long upcoming list of potential triggers, it’s not as scary or brutal as it sounds. lmao. highly recommended, probably the film I’ve enjoyed most so far. (tw: violence, nudity, drug use, death, [spoilers] child abuse, possible mind control, child death)

custody a french film based on a short film that I saw a few years ago, and it’s fantastic and gut-wrenching. the short film was about a woman running away from her abusive husband with her children; this feature-length film is about what happens when a stupid judge ignores what both the wife and children have to say and gives him joint custody. (spoilers: it doesn’t end well.) interestingly, it has all the same cast as the original short film, though the kids are markedly older. idk if it’s meant to be a straight sequel or if one just inspired the other. really well done, tho, I was fuckin white-knuckling it in the theater. people were like. yelling. the climax of that film is INTENSE. probably the best quality film we’ve seen so far, though I think the plot could’ve been tightened up a little. (tw: very explicit depictions of physical and emotional abuse, very terrifying moments. [spoilers] but no child death.)

I, Tonya tonya harding biopic. I’m not really a big one for biopics, but this was a good one. it tried to explain how harding’s life led her to where she got, but didn’t necessarily paint her as some innocent victim. it was sympathetic where it needed to be, empathetic where it needed to be, but rarely let her get away with bullshit. lot of good performances here, but Margot Robbie (even though she looked way too old for the part) did a great job. (tw: explicit child/spousal abuse)

the villainess Korean lady-gets-revenge-on-shitty-men bloody action flick. not really my genre, admittedly, but I feel like anyone who likes this kind of movie would really enjoy this one. very Kill Bill-esque. it’s the story of this girl who basically gets passed around between illicit assassination organizations, in-fighting, revenge on all those who wronged her, etc. it is Very Bloody and many people die. the action scenes are HQ if you are into that kind of thing. I was mostly invested in the huge amounts of f/f potential. like at one point she joins an assassin organization where all the operatives are female and that whole part of the movie!! was very gay!! the actual canon relationships are het, but there is a strong potential for dark f/f murderwives here. (tw: haha oh boy if it’s a problem it’s probably here. implied CSA, child abuse, creepy relationships, violence, gore, nudity, child death, everyone else death, non-con facial surgery...like it’s bloody af okay...)

love means zero this is a documentary about nick bollettieri, who’s this super famous tennis coach. (apparently.) I knew next to nothing about the world of professional tennis going into this documentary, but I still enjoyed it bc wtf this guy is a piece of work. it’s basically all about how he fucked over a ton of people (especially kids) when he was trying to make tennis champions. and how he succeeded! by fucking over a ton of people! the interviews with him are honestly kind of wild bc he’s just such a crazy narcissist. this was especially weird for me to watch bc I grew up in the sarasota/bradenton area and never even knew all this shit was going on there. it was weird seeing my hometown on the screen like that, but also interesting. (tw: child abuse, just generally being a fuckboi)

MOVIES THAT WERE OKAY but like I had Issues

brimstone and glory I feel like I really recommend going out to see this one if you can see it on the big screen. it’s a documentary about a fireworks festival in Mexico and honestly the cinematography is stunning. it’s just so, so, so cool. but the actual documentary part is kind of boring sometimes, and you gotta have a strong stomach bc it also shows some of the injuries people get at this insane festival. like I don’t think showing that is a bad thing; I think it’s the only responsible way to make a documentary about this festival. like it’s amazing, it’s so cool, but also these people are like. going blind, losing hands, dying. and taking their kids!! like if you cannot handle watching kids in dangerous situations, don’t go!! dad was freaking out, lmao. (tw: graphic depiction of real-life injuries)

radiance a Japanese film about a woman who writes audio description for blind movie-goers. the same director made An (Sweet Bean Paste) a couple years ago, which was notable for its depiction of what Japan does to its citizens who have Hansen’s Disease. (leprosy.) it was weird to me when that movie came out that none of the reviewers really talked about that aspect of the movie; they were all like “UGH IT WAS SO POINTLESS AND CLOYING” and I’m like “did you miss the point of the movie?? which was critiquing the social ostracization of these people in Japanese society??? did that completely go over your heads????” anyway, I appreciated the depiction of PWD in Japan bc having lived there while disabled, I know that shit isn’t easy. that’s why I went to go see radiance. it was...okay? I think the most interesting part was when they let the blind characters talk. the movie was otherwise pretty pretentious and self-indulgent. lmao. like... it’s a rent, don’t buy situation.

marlina the murderer in four acts this movie was not bad! it’s an indonesian film about a woman whose home is invaded and she kills all the invaders. it’s definitely a film that critiques misogyny in indonesian culture, but I feel like it undercut its own message by showing such incredibly graphic rapes. like honestly, I don’t really ever recommend movies that have very graphic rape scenes, but I guess she does end up killing her rapists during the rape scenes. I just. I feel like it could have been done in a way that won’t get people all sexually excited while watching a violent rape. : / y’know? other than that, though, I really liked the female characters in the movie and sympathized with marlina’s journey trying to get society to help her and realizing she had to just go it alone with her female friends. bc like. she’s attacked by men, but she’s also revictimized by shitty ordinary men all the time she’s trying to get to town, report the attack, etc. and so are the other female cahracters. so they just. have to be vigilantes. (tw: GRAPHIC rape, violence, mild gore, spousal abuse)

newton Indian film about a guy going out to the jungle to get votes in the main election. but like. none of the people out there even know who the candidates are, there’s a lot of anti-government violene, the villagers are caught between anarchists and the police, it’s just a mess. and I do think the movie was good at showing the futility of it all and showing how the people who really end up getting fucked over are the poor people in rural areas, but at the same time like. pacing was uneven, tone was ???, and I found the protagonist irritating. and there was what appeared to be some pasted on het which made no sense. (like honestly I cannot figure out why she ever wanted to talk to his dumb ass again.)

blade of the immortal it’s takashi miike making blade of the immortal. I mean. I feel like if you are familiar with those names, you already know if you want to see it or not. if you aren’t, idk how much you’d like it anyway. after already having watched miike’s ace attorney adaptation, I sense a pattern. the guy just looks at a HUGE corpus (like a VG with 5 cases, or a manga with 40 volumes) and is like “welll....then I guess we better make things fast.” so you have Big Bads being introduced in the same breath that they get killed, 30-second backstories, just a frenetic pace and a huge amount of information, and it’s confusing and overwhelming if you don’t already know it. and honestly, I haven’t read BotI so I can’t say how faithful this was. but if you already love the characters and just want miike’s trademark bloody action flick style, then I mean. fair enough. this here’s a bloodbath. I had a hard time getting emotionally invested as a fresh viewer, tho. highlight of the evening: an old man walking out grumbling about how he only likes classy martial arts movies, and apparently this did not qualify. having seen a lot of classics of the martial arts genre, still unsure what a “classy” martial arts film looks like. (tw: offscreen rape, death, blood, gore, just an unreasonable amount of killing honestly like it was funny by the end, attempted CSA)

gemini this is a “neo-noir” thriller. so essentially a murder mystery. unfortunately, the title of the movie basically gives away the entire story lmao. so while the build-up wasn’t bad, the entire last 15-20 minutes of the movie are a total letdown. it was nice to see canon f/f, I guess, but I feel like the movie never went in hard enough on that. like were they trying to make a point about how hard it is for celebrities to have same-sex relationships? I’m not sure!! I can think of a lot of things that would make this plot more interesting, but they just didn’t do them. acting was fine, I guess. John Cho was in it, even if his character was pointless. Zoe Kravitz is always fun. (tw: I mean it’s a murder mystery. so...murder.)

DID NOT ENJOY

scaffolding (israeli film, boring af)

the workshop (french film, kind of boring, makes questionable points about neo-nazis)

[keanuital]

In praise of Keanu Reeves, the nicest of meatheads

The  Hollywood star has embraced a life without pretensions.

Rolling Stone journalist Chris Heath once asked Keanu Reeves a simple question: why do you act? The star of The Matrix, Speed, Point Break and My Own Private Idaho paused the conversation to consider the matter. And he paused it for a long time. “Forty-two seconds, he says nothing. Not a word, a grunt, a prevarication, or a hint that an answer might come,” wrote Heath. But then an answer did come: “Uh… the words that popped into my head were expression and, uh, it's fun.” When Heath later asked Reeves if he ever wanted to direct, he waited 72 seconds for: “No, not really.”

Both Coco Chanel and George Orwell observed that by 50, we have the face we deserve. The Beirut-born Reeves is now 52 (the same age as Nigel Farage, as tweeters and bored bloggers periodically point out), but he looks pretty much the same as he has always looked: solidly handsome and straightforward, yet somehow vulnerable, like a Boy Scout who wants to do the right thing in a world that doesn’t. Jan de Bont, the director of the 1994 film Speed, called him “an action hero for the Nineties”. By this, I think he meant that, unlike the muscle-bound shit-kickers of the previous decade, a Keanu hero wouldn’t go out of his way to kill for fun. Where Arnold Schwarzenegger could, in Total Recall, shoot the woman he had wrongly believed to be his wife and joke, “Consider this a divorce,” Keanu always seemed somewhat conflicted while taking care of business – as if his eyes were saying, “Sorry it had to be this way.” The Nineties were the age of hunky romantics: Jason Priestley as Brandon in Beverly Hills, 90210, Ethan Hawke in Before Sunrise. Keanu fit that mould. I suppose even guys with guns had to be sensitive.

And even dumb guys, too, with or without guns – for you don’t have to be able to think in order to feel. Reeves began his career describing himself as “a meathead”. “I can’t help it, man,” he said. “You’ve got smart people and you’ve got dumb people. I just happen to be dumb.” He specialised in playing benevolent meatheads, from Ted “Theodore” Logan in Stephen Herek’s Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure to the spaced-out teen Tod Higgins in Ron Howard’s Parenthood (both 1989). Then he traded meathead simplicity for that of the likeable (and, as ever, sensitive) action hero in films such as Speed (1994) and Chain Reaction (1996). The Matrix series followed, as did a few smaller, more indie-ish movies (Thumbsucker, A Scanner Darkly). But the 2014 action film John Wick, whose sequel is in cinemas now, was widely welcomed as a return to form.

Reeves largely plays the assassin of the title as a primitive cinematic archetype, but he can't help but gesture towards something more profound. Wick, in both films of the franchise, is motivated by grief over the death of his wife. (In 2001, Reeves’s girlfriend Jennifer Syme died in a motor accident, a year after losing their child; perhaps the role had a personal resonance for him.) He might stab people in the head with pencils, break necks and shoot guns into crowded rooms like Chow Yun Fat after three espressos, but he’s ultimately a man of feeling.

This narrative of a career of sensitive but slightly dumb simplicity isn’t quite fair on Reeves, however. For he has, on occasion, been capable of delivering complex performances that rank alongside those of his more conventionally actorly peers. In 1991, he held his own opposite River Phoenix in Gus Van Sant’s road movie My Own Private Idaho; he has since appeared opposite Al Pacino as a wily defence attorney (The Devil’s Advocate) and Gene Hackman as a troubled sportsman (The Replacements). He has been directed by film festival favourites such as Francis Ford Coppola (Bram Stoker's Dracula), Bernardo Bertolucci (Little Buddha) and Sam Raimi (The Gift) – if not always successfully.

And he started his career not with excellent dudes, but with Shakespeare. When Reeves was 14 and living in Toronto, he was cast as Mercutio in a local production of Romeo and Juliet. An agent who saw him signed him up and secured for him a string of television roles, which swiftly took him to Hollywood. Reeves’s embarrassingly stilted attempt to portray the evil Don John in Kenneth Branagh’s Much Ado About Nothing (1993) makes me fear the discovery of video footage of that version of Romeo. But the fact that Reeves’s life as an actor began in this way reminds me of his seriousness about his craft. He might not have much range but he has admirable ambition. Many years later, when the studios pressured him to sign on for a Speed sequel, he ran off to play Hamlet in Canada.

In 2011, the New Statesman’s film critic, Ryan Gilbey, observed in the Guardian that Reeves had “some claim to be the most enigmatic, as well as the most warmly adored” actor in Hollywood. That assessment was based in part on the “Sad Keanu” meme that had spread the previous year, in which a paparazzi photograph of Reeves morosely eating a sandwich on a bench led to countless expressions of sympathy online (more than 14,000 people joined a Facebook group called “Cheer Up Keanu”; 200,000 comments about the picture were left on Reddit) and to the declaration by fans of a “Cheer Up Keanu Day”, which apparently takes place every 15 June.

This weird adoration and the sense of enigma surrounding the actor are, I think, closely linked. We know relatively little about Reeves’s off-screen life, which he keeps well guarded, but what we do know suggests qualities that are, for one reason or another, vanishingly rare in entertainment gossip – warm humanity and hidden depths. Hagiographic stories circulate of the actor donating millions of dollars to animal welfare charities and cancer research (his younger sister Kim was diagnosed with leukaemia); of Reeves offering stranded hitchhikers a ride; of a team of stuntmen being surprised with a gift of £6,000 Harley Davidson motorbikes, which he had quietly paid for.

“Money is the last thing I think about,” Hello magazine reported him saying in 2003. Not long earlier, he had reduced his pay by several million dollars so that the producers of The Devil’s Advocate and The Replacements could afford to hire Al Pacino and Gene Hackman, respectively. And, according to ABC News, he “handed over his valuable profit-sharing points” to the special effects and costume design team of the Matrix franchise, which he believed deserved the true credit for its success. (Some place the value of this donation at $50m.) By these accounts, Reeves is most definitely a righteous dude. He’s also a curious one. A few days after the Brexit vote, the New Statesman’s politics editor, George Eaton, was surprised to find him visiting Portcullis House as a guest of the Conservative MP Nadhim Zahawi. It was “fittingly surreal”, George told me, and Reeves came across as “courteous” and “modest” when he posed for a group selfie with some of the journalists who happened to be there.

As Reeves’s star rose in the early 1990s, the American men’s magazine Details lamented: “Nearly all celebrities – nearly all people – like to talk about themselves [but] Keanu doesn’t.” I guess it’s frustrating for journalists that someone so clearly interesting should be reticent about telling us about himself.

But I don’t really have to know much about Keanu Reeves to like him, though I’ve never met the guy. And there are things that I can learn from him, too. In Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Alex Winter’s Bill S Preston, Esq., paraphrases Socrates: “The only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing.” To which Reeves’s Ted responds: “That’s us, dude.” That’s them – and every one of us with any sense, if we’re honest. We may think we’re smart and even persuade the people around us that we are. But in the end, most of us are meatheads. Reeves shows in his life and work that meatheads can live good lives, even in the face of disparagement and personal tragedy. Maybe Chanel and Orwell were on to something – he really does have the face he deserves.

NewStatesman

[junker-town]

NBA scores 2017: Why the Pistons are working & 13 more things from Wednesday

Detroit’s bench mob is killing it.

Incredibly, the Detroit Pistons are for real. Maybe not 14-6 real, which puts them on pace for 57 wins, but at least 50 wins real. They won again on Wednesday, dropping 131 points on the admittedly lousy Phoenix Suns, and the joy ride that the Pistons have embarked on doesn’t look like it has any signs of slowing down.

The Pistons have the seventh-best offense and 12th-best defense, the former more surprising than the latter after Detroit’s offense last season finished 25th. Detroit’s only significant roster move was replacing Marcus Morris with Avery Bradley, but they’re also enjoying increased effectiveness from Andre Drummond and Tobias Harris, plus a healthy Reggie Jackson.

What might surprise you is their starting lineup, which hasn’t been good — they’ve been outscored by 43 points in 291 minutes so far this season. Their most effective unit is a seemingly ragtag bench mob featuring Ish Smith, Langston Galloway, Luke Kennard, Eric Moreland (!?), and Anthony Tolliver. (They’ve outscored teams by 10.2 points per 100 possessions in 54 minutes this year.)

Those statistics may start to stabilize — the starting five gets slightly better, the bench productive wanes a bit — like we saw on Wednesday, when the starting five was a combined plus-86, easily outpacing the bench unit. (Excluding Ish Smith, who was a team-high plus-25.)

Enjoy this Detroit team, which is deservedly bouncing back to our expectations of them.

The Thunder are ... not improving

Erm. Uhm. They were beat by the Orlando Magic on Wednesday. By 13 points! Yeesh. I’m running out of onomatopoeias that can accurately describe this.

Oklahoma City is 8-12, although I should remind everyone that their expected win-loss record is 12-8. Basically, they’ve won big and lost close, this game excluded. Their point differential typically garners a better win total, but Oklahoma City has had offensive problems in the clutch.

None of their stars were bad on Wednesday, but they weren’t good enough — the Thunder shot under 40 percent for the game. More worrisome, at least for me, is the defense. We know that this offense is oozing talent at nearly every position, but their superb early season defense was a great sign to me. I didn’t know they could be that good!

If that’s slipping, as 121 points scored by Orlando could indicate, then things might get dark. I still expect the Thunder to turn this around, and again, some of these losses were unlucky ones that make the situation seem more dire than it really is. Still, we’re a quarter of the way into the season, and the Thunder don’t have forever to figure this out.

Have a 40, Aaron Gordon and LaMarcus Aldridge

Orlando’s 121 outburst was greatly helped by Aaron Gordon’s 40 points. He was 13-of-23 from the field, 6-of-12 from downtown, and tacked on 15 rebounds, four assists and four steals for good measure. Have yourself a damn game!

Leading the evening in scoring was LaMarcus Aldridge, however, with 41 points. He just couldn’t miss, hitting 17-of-24 from the field while making all three of his three-point attempts. That’s good!

Other good stat lines: Kyle Lowry (36 points, 12-of-18 shooting); James Harden (29 points, eight rebounds, 10 assists); Andrew Wiggins (28 points, eight rebounds, five assists, 10-of-18 shooting).

Kristaps survives an assassination attempt

Thankfully he’s OK after a nasty looking ankle sprain.

THE GIF BELOW SHOWS A NOT TOTALLY PLEASANT INJURY.

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SO SCROLL PAST IF YOU DON’T WANNA WATCH.

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After watching this a few times, I think this only looks as bad as it does because of how his shoe comes off awkwardly. Porzingis was apparently available to return, although he never returned to the floor and didn’t even join the bench. X-rays were negative.

We finally found Ben Simmons’ flaw

The Warriors needed overtime to beat ... the Lakers?

Warriors winning in Staples against the Lakers felt tougher than any Finals game last season.

— Jordan Ramirez (@JRAM_91) November 30, 2017

Sloooooooowly starting to think the Rockets could really threaten the Warriors out West. Someone talk me off this ledge.

— Gerald Bourguet (@GeraldBourguet) November 30, 2017

Warriors really only have to play 4 straight minutes of great basketball and that shit will erase the great basketball that the other team played all night that shit is cheating bro

— Beyonce has an uncle named Larry Beyince. Bruh.... (@DragonflyJonez) November 30, 2017

“I didn’t think we competed tonight. I don’t think we’ve really competed that well all year. That’s just the way it is right now.” Steve Kerr on Warriors. Bemoaned “galling” turnovers in OT win over Lakers

— Ben Golliver (@BenGolliver) November 30, 2017

I’m using these four extremely different tweets to make one point about the Warriors: they’re a Rorschach test right now. Any opinion you want to have about them — literally any! — is fine. They’re fine, they’re bad, they’re slipping, they have serious playoff threats, they don’t have serious playoff threats, you name it. I consider that every opinion valid.

But also, like ... we saw the Cavaliers do this all last year, and the Warriors are even better.

Big Baller Blood

owwww http://pic.twitter.com/BBB3X6eN4z

— SB Nation (@SBNation) November 30, 2017

I half expected LaVar to sprint out onto the court and throw the offending Warriors player into a headlock. I’m glad he didn’t, though. The blogs would have burnt down from the traffic numbers, and then I wouldn’t have a job, only a fire-damaged former home.

More from Wednesday

LaVar still thinks Lonzo is better than Steph, but in a cute dad way (this is the most I’ve liked LaVar in a hot minute, for what it’s worth)

Give my man Jordan Bell some space!

First career Anthony Davis ejection? First LeBron, now him. It’s ejection season, fellas!

WHAT IS THIS DWIGHT HOWARD CROSSOVER!?

Today in, did he get crossed or was he tripped, featuring Russell Westbrook.

Tim Hardaway Jr. did something VERY VERY COOL TRUST ME I’M NOT KIDDING

Your regular Joel Embiid, large human highlights

Wednesday’s final scores

Nets 109, Mavericks 104 (Nets Daily recap | Mavs Moneyball recap)

Pistons 131, Suns 107 (Detroit Bad Boys recap | Bright Side of the Sun recap)

Magic 121, Thunder 108 (Orlando Pinstriped Post recap | Welcome to Loud City recap)

76ers 118, Wizards 113 (Liberty Ballers recap | Bullets Forever recap)

Knicks 115, Heat 86 (Posting & Toasting recap | Hot Hot Hoops recap)

Raptors 126, Hornets 113 (Raptors HQ recap | At the Hive recap)

Rockets 118, Pacers 97 (The Dream Shake recap | Indy Cornrows recap)

Timberwolves 120, Pelicans 102 (Canis Hoopus recap | The Bird Writes recap)

Spurs 104, Grizzlies 95 (Pounding the Rock recap | Grizzly Bear Blues recap)

Warriors 127, Lakers 123 (Golden State of Mind recap | Silver Screen & Roll recap)

[aion-rsa]

15 Characters Who Wielded Captain America’s Shield

“When Captain America throws his mighty shield / All those who chose to oppose his shield must yield / If he’s led to a fight and a duel is due / Then the red and the white and the blue’ll come through / When Captain America throws his mighty shield.”

RELATED: Beyond Mjolnir: The 15 Greatest Asgardian Weapons

There aren’t many super weapons with their own theme song, but there aren’t many as iconic as Captain America’s shield. The round shield first appeared in “Captain America Comics” #2. It is made of a mysterious alloy with properties of vibranium and adamantium and is indestructible, except when it isn’t. The shield has been a constant companion of Steve Rogers and has lasted from World War II into the far future, and has been wielded by several other men and women, mostly with honor and good intentions (although sometimes not). Here are 15 superheroes who wielded the shield.

STEVE ROGERS

The first shield-bearer, of course, is Steve Rogers, the 98-pound weakling with a stellar strength of character even before his physique was altered to reach the maximum of human capability. Debuting in “Captain America Comics” #1, he was a leader in the effort to fight World War II even before the United States joined the Allies. Since then, he’s been a mainstay of the Avengers, frequently battled alongside Nick Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D. and has been at the forefront of major events throughout the Marvel Universe’s history.

Captain America has constantly been regarded as an exemplar of justice and freedom, until it was revealed in “Captain America: Steve Rogers” #1 that he is secretly loyal to Hydra, and has been since his childhood and throughout his career. This is a Steve Rogers who has been altered by the Cosmic Cube and has had false memories implanted, and the ramifications from those changes are still playing out.

ISAIAH BRADLEY

Before Steve Rogers took up the shield, there was another brave soul who did: Isaiah Bradley, a Tuskeegee Airman. Bradley was one of 300 African American soldiers secretly experimented on by the U.S. Army in Project: Rebirth, the government’s early attempts to create the Super-Soldier Serum. This was revealed in “Truth: Red, White & Black,” the 2003 miniseries written by the late Robert Morales and drawn by Kyle Baker.

Bradley is one of only seven survivors of the trials, but is the last one standing when he undertakes a mission behind enemy lines in Germany to destroy that nation’s efforts to create its own super-soldiers. To do so, he disguises himself with a spare Captain America costume and shield. After completing the mission, however, Bradley is charged with stealing the costume, court-martialed and imprisoned for nearly 20 years, until he is pardoned by President Eisenhower. Sadly, the unrefined version of the serum in Bradley’s system caused debilitating effects on his mind and body.

THE SPIRIT OF ’76 / THE PATRIOT

After several years during which Captain America was not featured in any comics, he was reintroduced to the Marvel Universe in 1964’s “Avengers” #4. However, the explanation for his absence (that he had been in suspended animation since 1945) didn’t account for comics that featured Captain America into the 1950s. “What If?” #4, “What If The Invaders Stayed Together After World War Two?,” partially retconned away that discrepancy. It revealed that after Captain America and Bucky went missing in 1945, the U.S. government covered up the incident and recruited replacements.

William Naslund, The Spirit of ’76, accepted the request, along with Fred Davis as the replacement Bucky. As Captain America, Naslund served through the end of World War II, sometimes with the All-Winners Squad. However, he was killed in action in 1946 while the All-Winners thwarted an attempt to kidnap a congressional candidate in Boston: future President John F. Kennedy. Right after The Spirit of ’76 was killed, costumed hero the Patriot, Jeff Mace, found his body and pledged to serve in his stead. Mace served as Captain America until 1950.

GRAND DIRECTOR

William Burnside had a stalker-ish level of fascination with Captain America and with Steve Rogers, gaining a Ph.D. on the topic, even visiting Germany and uncovering documents with the original Super-Soldier formula. At the outset of the Korean War, Burnside made a deal with the F.B.I. to reveal the formula to them if he could be the new Captain America. However, by the time his preparations were complete (including multiple surgeries for Burnside to resemble and sound like Steve Rogers, as well as adopting his name) the war ended and the program was shelved.

When a Communist spy posed as the Red Skull and attacked the United Nations, Burnside and partner Jack Monroe acted on their own as Captain America and Bucky to stop it. After that, they carried on as Captain America and Bucky, fighting Communists, but slipped into madness because their transformation was incomplete without exposure to the stabilizing Vita-Rays. They were put into cyrogenic suspension for their own safety, but released a quarter-century later and battled the original Captain. Burnside later became the Grand Director, leader of the neofascist National Force.

ROSCOE SIMONS

Steve Rogers had a crisis of conscience when he battled the Secret Empire, in “Captain America” #169-176. Following the threads of a plot to discredit him takes Captain America all the way to the White House, where he thwarts a coup d’etat led by a hooded man described only as a high-ranking government official. “Number One,” strongly implied to be President Nixon, commits suicide, and an unnerved Rogers renounces the Captain America identity.

Three well-meaning do-gooders step up to take the Captain America mantle only to find out the hard way that it’s not as easy as it looks. Pro baseball player Bob Russo, on his first time out, swings into a wall and breaks his arm, while a biker named “Scar” Turpin takes on six thugs and gets the snot beaten out of him. Finally, gym owner Roscoe Simons, who refuses to be dissuaded by The Falcon, shows his mettle in a fight. He gets Steve Rogers’ blessing and a bit of mentoring and training by The Falcon. Unfortunately, in stopping a bank robbery, Simons and The Falcon are captured by minions of the Red Skull. Insulted at finding a substitute in the costume, Red Skull beats Simons to death.

AMERICAN DREAM

“What If” #105 gave us a look at a possible future for the Marvel Universe, showing us Peter Parker’s daughter, May, becoming the costumed hero Spider-Girl, and meeting that era’s Avengers. This led to the character getting her own title, “Spider-Girl,” the flagship of the MC2 line of comics. Spinoff title “A-Next” introduced Shannon Carter, cousin of Sharon Carter and a tour guide at the Avengers Museum. Carter resolves to join the Avengers, taking on the name American Dream. She trained extensively to overcome damage from a car crash and devised her own costume and weapons, throwing discs that looked like mini-shields. She got her wish to join the Avengers in “A-Next” #4.

In an adventure that took the team to an alternate reality where the world was conquered by Dr. Doom, American Dream met the original Captain America, who was leading the resistance. With the new team’s help, the regime was overthrown and Captain America gave American Dream the shield of that world’s defeated Cap. American Dream also appeared in a five-issue limited-series and in the four-issue “Captain America Corps” series.

CYCLOPS (ULTIMATES)

The crossover adventure in “Ultimate X-Men/Fantastic Four Annual” #1 and “Ultimate Fantastic Four/X-Men Annual” #1 presents an alternate future for the Ultimate Universe. Here, Mr. Fantastic succeeds in finding a way to cure The Thing, but his device also strips the powers from Cyclops and Jean Grey, while Captain America ages and dies. To continue the fight on behalf of mutants, Scott Summers takes the shield and adopts the mantle of Captain America, although he redesigns the shield in X-Men livery.

Cyclops gathers an X-Men team consisting of Rogue, Shadowcat, Wolverine and a new male Phoenix to go 20 years into the past to kill Reed Richards and the Fantastic Four, so as to prevent the dystopian future that spins out of the “Ultimatum” crossover. However, things quickly go wrong when Wolverine reveals he is a Sentinel in disguise. The Wolverine Sentinel attacks and kills most of the team, including Cyclops.

DAVID RICKFORD

David Rickford had a short career as a Captain America, appearing only in “Captain America” #615.1.” At that time, Bucky Barnes had been in the role, but was sabotaged by Baron Zemo, who made public his past as Soviet assassin the Winter Soldier. This resulted in Barnes’ incarceration in a Russian gulag.

To entice Steve Rogers to again take up the Captain America guise, Nick Fury, posing as the Power Broker, arranged for a new group of volunteers to test what they were told was a reconstituted Super-Soldier serum. Among them was decorated Special Forces soldier Rickford, who instead was put through the Power Broker augmented strength process. After some training, Rickford went public as Captain America, but after a successful first day, he was captured by minions of A.I.M. who planned to convert him into a M.O.D.O.K.. Steve Rogers rescued him and demanded Rickford resign the Captain America role, lest he get himself killed.

SUPER-SOLDIER

1996’s  “DC vs. Marvel” crossover series also introduced a series of spinoff titles published by both companies. Under the banner “Amalgam Comics,” these books featured characters, locales and concepts that were a blend of elements from both companies.

Super-Soldier was a mix of Captain America and Superman. “Super-Soldier” #1 gave us his origin: He was Clark Kent, a 4-F volunteer who was injected by a “Super-Soldier” serum blended with cell samples from a body found in alien rocket that crashed on Earth in 1938, and also was blasted with solar radiation. The combination gave Kent powers and abilities far beyond those of ordinary mortals. He had super-strength, stamina, flight, invulnerability, heat vision and super-hearing. As Super-Soldier, he carried a shield that bore Superman’s “S.” But in battle with Ultra-Metallo, Super-Soldier crashed into the Altlanic Ocean, and is frozen in ice and lost for decades. He has a second adventure with Sgt. Rock and His Howling Commandos in “Super-Soldier: Men of War” #1, taking down Major Zemo, a mix of DC’s Iron Major and Marvel’s Baron Zemo.

DANIELLE CAGE

In today’s Marvel Universe, Danielle Cage is a baby, the daughter of Avengers Luke Cage and Jessica Jones; her birth occurred in “The Pulse” #13. She is destined for greatness, however, because when she grows up, she’ll be Captain America!

Cage’s grown-up self appears in “Avengers: Ultron Forever” #1, brashly taking down agents of the Golden Skull. She has inherited the strength of her mother and the toughness of her father, and uses a shield tricked out with devices that allow her to fire it off and have it return. Danielle is whisked away through time by Doctor Doom to join other Avengers from different periods: Jim Rhodes as Iron Man, Thor Odinson, Thor’s successor, an early Hulk, the Vision and the Black Widow. The team was assembled to defeat Ultron, who had conquered the world in a timeline 50 years in the future. Cage is currently on the roster of “U.S. Avengers.”

MAJOR VICTORY

A founding member of the original Guardians of the Galaxy, young Vance Astro adored space. He volunteered for an interstellar mission to Alpha Centauri that required him to spend much of the thousand-year journey in stasis. A special containment suit was provided for infrequent periods of wakefulness, and he developed psionic powers. Unfortunately, Earth developed faster-than-light propulsion during the time he was gone, beating him to Alpha Centauri by some 200 years.

While with the Guardians in the 31st century, Major Victory searched for the lost shield of Captain America. In the effort, he battled Interface, who also sought the shield for its power. With his powers, Interface removed Major Victory’s containment suit, causing him to age, and took the shield but discarded it because it seemingly had no power. When Major Victory seized it, the shield gave him strength and inspiration, which are the true powers of the shield. He continued to carry it, using his psionic powers to steer it when thrown.

U.S. AGENT

When he was recruited to fill the role, John Walker intended to honor Captain America and the ideals he represents, but found it increasingly difficult to do because he holds a different worldview than Steve Rogers does. Walker first appeared in “Captain America” #323 as Super-Patriot, an opponent of Captain America’s idealistic perspective. Walker had undergone the Power Broker’s strength augmentation and was working with a promoter to pay for it.

Later, Rogers is summoned before the Commission on Superhuman Activities, which declared everything related to Captain America is property of the federal government and instructed him to work solely on its orders. Rogers refused and resigned, and the Commission approached Walker about wearing the costume. Walker, as the new Captain America, proved to be more violent and impulsive, even killing some of his opponents. Rogers, now known as The Captain, battled Walker in fight instigated by the Red Skull. In the aftermath, Walker was fired and persuaded Rogers to re-take the Captain America mantle. Walker then became U.S. Agent, in a costume similar to Rogers’ costume as The Captain.

BUCKY BARNES

From the beginning, there was James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes, Captain America’s partner and friend, working side-by-side with him in adventures through World War II. Until that fateful moment, revealed in “Avengers” #4, in which a drone plane explosion in 1945 caused Captain America to be lost at sea and killed Bucky. Or so everyone thought, anyway.

In 2005, Captain America encountered a new antagonist, a KGB assassin known as the Winter Soldier. Bucky had been found by Soviet forces, outfitted with a prosthetic arm and brainwashed. The Soviets then sent him on covert assassinations, placing him in cryonic suspension afterward for months and years at a time. Captain America, with unwavering faith that Bucky could be saved, used the Cosmic Cube to free him from his programming. However, Captain America was seemingly killed while surrendering at the end of “Civil War.” His last request, delivered to Tony Stark, then head of S.H.I.E.L.D., was for Bucky to carry on in his stead.

SAM WILSON

As the Falcon, Sam Wilson is one of Captain America’s longest-serving partners and is the first African-American superhero in Marvel Comics, following the Black Panther’s 1966 debut by three years. He was introduced in “Captain America” #117 in 1969 as a man with an affinity for birds and soon becomes a costumed hero, although his past as a street hustler has been retconned away. He gained an upgraded costume that allows him to fly in “Captain America” #170.

After Steve Rogers loses the Super-Soldier serum in his system, becoming as physically frail as an average 90-year-old, he directly asks Wilson to take over as Captain America. As the All-New Captain America, Wilson has had a rocky tenure; he is not universally accepted in the role, alienates a large part of the public when he reveals his politics, and is being undermined by Steve Rogers, whom he does not know is a mind-controlled Hydra operative.

SUPERMAN

It takes an extremely dire circumstance for the No. 1 hero of another universe to wield the seminal weapons of the Marvel Universe. It happened in 2003’s “JLA/Avengers” #4, the culmination of the long-delayed inter-company crossover between Marvel and DC, chock full of wonderful moments.

In the story, both teams are working at the behest of cosmic entities (the Marvel Universe’s Grandmaster and the DC Universe’s Krona) to recover totems of power, six from each of the universes. But the Grandmaster, whose champions are the Justice League, is working a hidden agenda to protect his universe from Krona, who in turn is willing to destroy all the known universes in his increasingly reckless quest for knowledge of the truth of creation. The Avengers and the JLA unite for an assault on Krona and his forces that is a cover for Superman to attempt to strike him down. To ensure he can, Captain America gives Superman his shield. Thor gives Superman his hammer, to boot.

Who was your favorite shield-bearer? Be sure to let us know in the comments!

The post 15 Characters Who Wielded Captain America’s Shield appeared first on CBR.com.

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